kayniee - Tumblr blog

kayniee · 2 years

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Sherlock x Reader - pt. 1

You and Sherlock have been friends for almost 2 years now. And you've been in love with him for nearly half the time. But when you finally confess your feelings for him, he throws himself off of a fucking roof.

How will he react when he comes back and you've moved on?

TW: Suicide, (probably) slight canon divergence

Sherlock didn't know what to do when you uttered the words "I love you" that fateful autumn day.

You were special to him. He counted you amongst the most important people in his life. But he didn't know if he loved you or not.

If he was honest with himself, the thought had never crossed his mind. Stupid, considering the current situation.

And he needed to go undercover very, very soon. So he did what any sane person would do.

He sped up the process of his lovely undercover mission - During which it was more likely than not that he would perish - to avoid giving you an answer.

When you first heard the news that Sherlock had died, that he was a fraud, you didn't believe it. You were friends with him, maybe even more. This had to be some sort of elaborate scheme, didn't it?

But as a week went by of you sitting in your apartment in denial, you began to realize that maybe the news was right. Maybe Sherlock Holmes, the love of your life, was dead. Maybe he had killed himself.

A day after you confessed your fucking love to him.

And thus prompted the question - What were you supposed to do when the love of your life throws themself off a building immediately after you profess your love?

As expected, Google had absolutely shit advice on the matter.

Grief tore at your heart. Why would he do this? Didn't he care about you? Maybe this was your fault. Maybe he killed himself because of you.

No, you scolded yourself, you weren't that important to Sherlock. Even if he had only seen you as a friend, it wasn't like you were his only friend. He had John, and his brother, and - Oh God, one of his three friends revealed that they were in love with him a day before he died, there was no way that was a coincidence. You had killed Sherlock Holmes. This was all your fault.

You sobbed into your pillow every day for a month, not bothering to show up to work because what was the point, what was the point to anything, if Sherlock was dead? The one man you had let yourself love threw himself off a building because of your feelings for him. You were a murderer.

You dragged yourself out of your apartment for the first time in two weeks to attend Sherlock's funeral. You at least owed him that much.

"I'm so sorry." You cried over his casket once the crowd had dispersed. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault and I'm so sorry that I loved you."

Little did you know he was watching from a distance.

His heart hurt at the sight of you crying over his casket and blaming yourself for his death. Pangs of guilt shot through him, twisting uncomfortably in his chest. He tried to surpress them, but they even followed him into his mind palace.

'Why did you run,' they taunted him. 'They're going to develop depression and it'll be all your fault.'

He was going to need to go undercover soon anyways, he reasoned. It would only hurt you more if he had accepted your confession and then faked his death.

But no matter how much logic he tried to apply to the situation, nothing could stop the terrible guilt twisting at his chest.

His earbud crackled with Mycroft's voice. "Are you ready, brother mine?"

With a sigh, Sherlock tore his eyes from your shaking form and responded with a sullen 'yes'.

During the three years he was gone he had been beaten, cut, choked, and starved. What had kept him alive wasn't loyalty to London, or even thoughts of John. No, every time he had wanted to give up, to take a knife to his throat and be free of the pain, he thought of you sobbing over his casket. He would return to London and give you an answer to your question no matter what it took.

He realized he loved you almost immediately after he faked his death. He knew it before, but didn't want to confront it. But now that he was trapped in a cage being thrown scraps like a dog, his biggest regret was not telling you he loved you back.

It had been nearly three years since Sherlock had died. Unsurprisingly, you had gotten fired from your job. It has taken you a while to get back on your feet, but you had managed.

You knew that Sherlock wouldn't have wanted you to waste away, even if he may have killed himself partially because of you.

You had tried to get over him, but it was almost impossible, seeing as nearly everything in your apartment reminded you of him.

John had come over a couple of times, but seeing as he only reminded you of Sherlock, you didn't try to spend time with him when you didn't have to.

You genuinely didn't know if you could ever go back to normal.

Your friend had scheduled you a blind date for next week. As much as you dreaded dating, you wanted to get back out there. You couldn't be hung up on one man forever, after all.

Sherlock was finally done with Moriarty. He couldn't wait to get back home and confess his love to the object of his affections. He was absolutely giddy at the thought.

So giddy, in fact, he hadn't even considered the fact that you may have moved on.

The heartbreak he felt when he saw you giggling at another man's jokes and toying with your hair was something completely new for him, and as much as he liked new experiences, he absolutely despised this one.

Still - Even if you had moved on, you still deserved to know that you hadn't killed someone. He somewhat sullenly moped up to the table.

"Hi." He greeted.

Your jaw dropped as you stuttered out a broken version of his name. You rubbed your eyes, as if you couldn't believe that it was him.

"I - You're alive?" You managed, mouth agape.

"Last I checked." He morosely said, eyeing the man sitting across from you. You were absolutely out of his league - Honestly, what man in his 30s had that bad posture? "Had to go undercover for a bit to dispose of Moriarty. But I see that you're busy, so I'll just go."

"A bit." You deadpanned, eyes welling up with tears. His heart clenched at the sight, but he brushed off the feeling. You could get mr. bad-posture to comfort you later. "You left me for 3 years, Sherlock. I love - loved - you, and you just left me. I thought I killed you." You shouted. The tears were now falling freely down your face and Sherlock resisted the urge to wipe them away.

"Nope, still alive. Still live at 221 Baker Street, too, if you ever want to visit. You're obviously busy, so I'll just take my leave -"

"Sherlock," You said in a shaky voice. "Can we talk outside?"

"What about our date?" Bad-posture complained.

"Oh for goodness sakes, their friend who they were in love with just came back from the dead, have a little perspective." Sherlock complained. "Honestly, how someone as stupid as you thought they even had a shot with someone like them -"

"Are you just gonna let this wannabe-emo talk to me like that?" Bad-posture retorted.

You nodded, much to Sherlock's pleasure. Not wasting another moment, you grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the restaurant, leaving the bill to Bad-posture.

I dont really wanna finish this rn but I promise I will! I have a Ko-fi if you wanna help me out.

#sherlock x reader #sherlock holmes #sherlock fandom #sherlock x you #requests open #please request something im so bored #angst #sherlock angst #bbc sherlock #they are idiots #commissions

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kayniee · 2 years

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I have a Ko-fi now??? that's where I'll be accepting commissions so if anyone want to do that then head on over there. Ik that my writing is like dogshit on Tumblr but like maybe someone will be willing to donate.

https://ko-fi.com/kaynie

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kayniee · 2 years

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part two of my doing naughty things with itto post

after he runs away on you you're rightfully confused

you felt his bulge on your thigh, and judging by the moan he let out he was certainly enjoying the situation

but if that was the case, then why did he leave?

you'd probably give him a couple of days and wait for him to seek you out

he'll probably speak about it to Kuki all panicked

like 'kuki i think i fucked up i accidentally got hard during a makeout session and then moaned and then ran away what if they hate me now??'

and shinobu would be so fucking amused

like 'oh no what a grave mistake, getting turned on while groping your significant other'

she knew that itto was a virgin but she thought he at least had some idea what was going on

"Shinobu, I have absolutely no idea what to do." Itto rambled, pacing around the camp. "I mean, they probably thought the noise I made sounded dumb, and even if they were into the whole.. You know." He made some sort of obscene gesture with his hands. "It was so stupid of me to do that!" He wailed.

"Itto, calm the fuck down." Kuki ordered, immediately silencing the oni. She sighed deeply. "Yes, you kind of screwed up, but not by getting a boner. You screwed up by running away from them in up middle of a date without an explanation."

Itto's eyes widened. "I hadn't even thought of that."

Shinobu rolled her eyes. "You've had 'the talk', right? You get that you have no control over when you get an erection?"

Itto rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I may or may not have been in juvie during sex ed."

Shinobu would then proceed to educate our favourite oni in the ways of sex

imagine him sitting there as Shinobu explains how babies are made

he would probably listen intently too

like take notes and everything

once they're finished, Shinobu would send him to your place with a box of condoms to make it right

okok ik that 3 parts is a bit excessive but I'm like really tired rn but i wanted to write and i know thag I'm gonna forget abt it if i dont publish it right now so uh here enjoy

#itto angst #itto x reader angst #arataki itto smut #arataki itto x reader #itto smut #genshin angst #fluff and angst #kuki shinobu #arataki itto #genshin impact #genshin smut #awkward first time

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kayniee · 2 years

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imagine Itto and you doing naughty things for the first time.

you two have never really had a serious discussion about sex before

like nothing. nada. not even casually in passing.

you probably assumed that he had at least some experience because I mean

hot buff oni boy? who wouldn't want to smash?

but in reality he's actually never done anything past a heated makeout session before

you and him would be laying in bed together, casually making out

and then you would suddenly straddle him and he would start to get a little excited,,, you know,,,, down there

You glance downwards at Itto's swollen lips. His eyes suddenly widen as the already prominent blush on his face deepens.

His fingers that have found themselves on your hips dig into your flesh, his sharp nails nearly piercing the skin.

Your brow furrows as you scoot forward on his body to brush his hair out of his eyes. "What's wrong?"

As you move, though, your thigh presses against his bulge.

"Ngghh - Hah.." He pants, his breath coming out in short bursts.

Your eyebrows furrow as he swallows thickly. His eyes widen.

"I - I.. Fuck, I - I'm sorry." He rambles.

"For what?" You ask, genuinely confused.

"I -" He picks you up and sets you gently on your bed, covering his crotch with his hands almost comedically. "I've gotta go."

im literally so tired right now I just pulled an alll nighter so my writing is probably shit but like i wanted to write something so here??? i guess???

I'll finish it later with a part two

#itto x reader angst #itto x reader #genshin smut #genshin itto #itto imagines #itto x you #itto my beloved #gi itto #itto angst #itto smut #arataki itto x reader #arataki itto smut #itto x reader smut

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kayniee · 2 years

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switch up your verbs (part one) ~

walked - hiked - moved - shuffled - toddled - sauntered - ambled - tiptoed - meandered - strolled

laughed - chortled - chuckled - giggled - snorted - guffawed - howled - snickered - shrieked

wanted - ached for - wished - craved - coveted - fancied - pined - aspired

ran - sprinted - galloped - scampered - bolted - trotted - dashed - raced - jogged

jumped - bounced - hopped - leapt - hurtled - vaulted - barged - bounded

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kayniee · 2 years

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ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴅʏ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ

Anger

Anger is one expression of fight-or-flight mode — an automatic, instinctive reaction to a threat. In many cases, there is an underlying fear of being harmed. Thanks to autonomic nervous system arousal, the heart rate increases, pupils dilate, and the face may flush. Other signs of anger

Balling the fists

Crossing the arms tightly

Clenching the fists once arms are crossed

Tight-lipped smile

Clenched teeth

Shaking a finger like a club

Stabbing a finger at someone

Attraction

Pupils dilate

Women will cross and uncross legs to draw attention to them

Mirroring – (usually unconsciously) mimicking the other person’s body language

Closed to Conversation

Keeping the hands in the pockets (esp. men)

Arms and legs crossed

Sitting back

Folding the hands together on a table (creates a barrier)

The “figure-four” leg cross (setting the ankle of one leg on the knee of the other) and then grabbing the lower half of the top leg with both hands.

Openness and Honesty

Exposure of the palms

Arms and legs unfolded

Leaning forward

Submissive Signals

Smiling – that’s why some people smile when they’re upset or afraid

Slumping the shoulders

Doing anything to appear smaller

Distress

Men in particular have a tendency to stroke or rub the nape of the neck when they’re upset. It acts as a self-soothing gesture to deal with a “pain in the neck.”

Crossed arms – arms act like a protective barrier

Self-hugging – arms are crossed, hands gripping upper arms

One-arm cross – one arm crosses the body to hold or touch the other arm – women keep a hand on a purse or bag strap to make this look more natural

Clutching a purse, briefcase, or bag with both arms

Adjusting cuffs or cuff-links (men’s version of the purse-strap grab)

Folding the hands together in front of the crotch (men)

Lying

Lying causes a subtle tingling in the face and neck, so the gestures below are attempts to eliminate that feeling

Covering the mouth – can be like a shh gesture, or they may cover the mouth completely – some people try to cover it by coughing

Touching or rubbing the nose or just below the nose – often a quick, small gesture, not a scratch

Rubbing the eyes (especially men)

Scratching the neck with the index finger

Superiority, Confidence, Power, Dominance

Steepling the fingers (aka setting the tips of the fingers together)

Folding the hands behind the back

Thumbs sticking out from pockets when hands are in pockets (can be front or back pockets)

Hands on hips

Straddling a chair

Hands folded behind the head while sitting up (in men)

[source]

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kayniee · 2 years

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establishing a relationship prompts

feel free to use :)

the hesitation before introducing them like “name, this is my family. guys, this is my… um, this is name.”

“i thought we were …” “thought we were what?”

the built up feeling of being excited to see them for no particular reason at all and the character feeling that being like what’s wrong with me? we aren’t even dating

“what are we?” and the other character responding like “what do you mean?” even though they know

“can we talk? what are we? what are we doing?”

“i don’t want to continue this… relationship… if this is how it’s going to be. i want some clarity.”

explaining it away with friends like oh no we aren’t like that… but that bitter taste being left in their mouth because what are they if not that thing

a character leans in for a kiss and the other asks “what are we?”

they’re just relaxing together when one asks out of the blue “what are we?”

“i don’t like him. if anything, i hate him.” “…. right.”

additionally, character trying to explain it away and sounding even dumb to themselves

“what are we doing?”

“i’m tired of feeling like i have an expiration date on my forehead. what. are. we?”

the classic “you know i think of us as more than just…” if u know u know

“what are we?” “whatever you want us to be.”

a confession like “i don’t know why i feel this way but i know you mean a lot to me and i want to ask if you feel the same abort me” because communication everyone

the more and more they think about it, the more they feel hesitant about continuing with their relationship because they’re terrified that it’s not reciprocated

what happens next? will either of them be honest or will they crash and burn after the question is asked?

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kayniee · 2 years

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DESCRIBING THE PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES OF CHARACTERS:

Body

descriptors; ample, athletic, barrel-chested, beefy, blocky, bony, brawny, buff, burly, chubby, chiseled, coltish, curvy, fat, fit, herculean, hulking, lanky, lean, long, long-legged, lush, medium build, muscular, narrow, overweight, plump, pot-bellied, pudgy, round, skeletal, skinny, slender, slim, stocky, strong, stout, strong, taut, toned, wide.

Eyebrows

descriptors; bushy, dark, faint, furry, long, plucked, raised, seductive, shaved, short, sleek, sparse, thin, unruly.

shape; arched, diagonal, peaked, round, s-shaped, straight.

Ears

shape; attached lobe, broad lobe, narrow, pointed, round, square, sticking-out.

Eyes

colour; albino, blue (azure, baby blue, caribbean blue, cobalt, ice blue, light blue, midnight, ocean blue, sky blue, steel blue, storm blue,) brown (amber, dark brown, chestnut, chocolate, ebony, gold, hazel, honey, light brown, mocha, pale gold, sable, sepia, teakwood, topaz, whiskey,) gray (concrete gray, marble, misty gray, raincloud, satin gray, smoky, sterling, sugar gray), green (aquamarine, emerald, evergreen, forest green, jade green, leaf green, olive, moss green, sea green, teal, vale).

descriptors; bedroom, bright, cat-like, dull, glittering, red-rimmed, sharp, small, squinty, sunken, sparkling, teary.

positioning/shape; almond, close-set, cross, deep-set, downturned, heavy-lidded, hooded, monolid, round, slanted, upturned, wide-set.

Face

descriptors; angular, cat-like, hallow, sculpted, sharp, wolfish.

shape; chubby, diamond, heart-shaped, long, narrow, oblong, oval, rectangle, round, square, thin, triangle.

Facial Hair

beard; chin curtain, classic, circle, ducktail, dutch, french fork, garibaldi, goatee, hipster, neckbeard, old dutch, spade, stubble, verdi, winter.

clean-shaven

moustache; anchor, brush, english, fu manchu, handlebar, hooked, horseshoe, imperial, lampshade, mistletoe, pencil, toothbrush, walrus.

sideburns; chin strap, mutton chops.

Hair

colour; blonde (ash blonde, golden blonde, beige, honey, platinum blonde, reddish blonde, strawberry-blonde, sunflower blonde,) brown (amber, butterscotch, caramel, champagne, cool brown, golden brown, chocolate, cinnamon, mahogany,) red (apricot, auburn, copper, ginger, titain-haired,), black (expresso, inky-black, jet black, raven, soft black) grey (charcoal gray, salt-and-pepper, silver, steel gray,), white (bleached, snow-white).

descriptors; bedhead, dull, dry, fine, full, layered, limp, messy, neat, oily, shaggy, shinny, slick, smooth, spiky, tangled, thick, thin, thinning, tousled, wispy, wild, windblown.

length; ankle length, bald, buzzed, collar length, ear length, floor length, hip length, mid-back length, neck length, shaved, shoulder length, waist length.

type; beach waves, bushy, curly, frizzy, natural, permed, puffy, ringlets, spiral, straight, thick, thin, wavy.

Hands; calloused, clammy, delicate, elegant, large, plump, rough, small, smooth, square, sturdy, strong.

Fingernails; acrylic, bitten, chipped, curved, claw-like, dirty, fake, grimy, long, manicured, painted, peeling, pointed, ragged, short, uneven.

Fingers; arthritic, cold, elegant, fat, greasy, knobby, slender, stubby.

Lips/Mouth

colour (lipstick); brown (caramel, coffee, nude, nutmeg,) pink (deep rose, fuchsia, magenta, pale peach, raspberry, rose, ) purple (black cherry, plum, violet, wine,) red (deep red, ruby.)

descriptors; chapped, cracked, dry, full, glossy, lush, narrow, pierced, scabby, small, soft, split, swollen, thin, uneven, wide, wrinkled.

shape; bottom-heavy, bow-turned, cupid’s bow, downturned, oval, pouty, rosebud, sharp, top-heavy.

Nose

descriptors; broad, broken, crooked, dainty, droopy, hooked, long, narrow, pointed, raised, round, short, strong, stubby, thin, turned-up, wide.

shape; button, flared, grecian, hawk, roman.

Skin

descriptors; blemished, bruised, chalky, clear, dewy, dimpled, dirty, dry, flaky, flawless, freckled, glowing, hairy, itchy, lined, oily, pimply, rashy, rough, sagging, satiny, scarred, scratched, smooth, splotchy, spotted, tattooed, uneven, wrinkly.

complexion; black, bronzed, brown, dark, fair, ivory, light, medium, olive, pale, peach, porcelain, rosy, tan, white.

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kayniee · 2 years

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Random Ship Dynamics

Gets scared easily x “How did that make you jump??”

Consistently cold x A very cuddly person who just happens to be warm

Sweetheart x “You’re so kind that it’s making me sick”

Doesn’t like PDA x Has to hold back from smothering them when they’re out on a date

Carefree and kind of reckless x Stern and is always (affectionately) scolding them

Famous singer x Their average partner who is the loudest in the crowd when they go see their concerts

Fascinated by everything x Thinks their partner’s fascination is fascinating

Tall x “How’s the weather up there?”

Short x Bends down to talk to their partner because they know it pisses them off

Two teachers whose classrooms are in the same hallway so they always visit each other during lunches

Very physically affectionate x Didn’t realize how touch starved they were until they met their partner

Cries very easily x “Stop crying or I’m gonna cry.."

“Fuck you.” x “Fuck ME???” [winks]

Very good dancer x Can’t dance for their life but still gets dragged onto the dance floor by their partner

Does embarrassing things on purpose x Pretends to be embarrassed so they can laugh at their partner

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kayniee · 2 years

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drew Hancock a while ago and i think he looks very funky

#fallout 4 #john hancock #drawing #fanart #commissions

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kayniee · 2 years

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made a fursona even though I'm not a furry cuz all my friends were doing it and i gotta say it looks pretty okay

#drawing #fursona #furry community #furry #sfw furry #lgbtq

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kayniee · 2 years

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omfg yes this is fantastic reposting so i dont lose it

show, don't tell:

anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking

frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping

sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps

happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking

boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails

fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands

disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm

tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile

confidence - prolonged eye contact - appreciates instead of apologizing - active listening - shoulders back - micro reactions

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kayniee · 2 years

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so I was reading a fic and the author used the word prick during a steamy scene and I legit almost burst out laughing

it was all goin normal, they were getting undressed and everything, and then just suddenly 'his hardening prick' LIKE EXCUSE ME???

maybe its just me but I see prick as like more of an insult than an actual word to describe the you know what but it really ruined the immersion

#fanfiction #reading #random

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kayniee · 2 years

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reblogging cuz i dont wanna lose it

BEST accounts to follow as a writer

It's been a long time since my last visit here on Tumblr, right? So, as a comeback and since you loved my masterpost of websites for writers, I am bringing you my favorite Tumblr blogs to follow if you're a writer and are interested in finding lots of inspo on your timeline, as well as prompts, tips, and useful resources. Shall we start?

PROMPTS:

@givethispromptatry

@dailystoryprompts

@here-haveaprompt

@dark-fiction-and-angst

@youneedsomeprompts

@deity-prompts

@whygodohgodwhy

@writinghoursopen

@fluffyomlette

@promptsforthestrugglingauthor

@novelbear

@gfuckign

@ghostly-prompts

WORLD BUILDING INSPO / PROMPTS:

@worldbuildingprompts

@locationbuildingprompts

@wbqotd

@wildworldwritingprompts

@worldbuilding-question

@thealpha-chronicles

@happyheidi

@enchantedengland

@ancientsstudies

@greeksblog

OC PROMPTS:

@yourocdoeswhat

@questionsforyourocs

@oc-question

@oc-dev

@characterization-queries

@oc-factoids

@tag-that-oc

@some-oc-questions

GENERAL WRITING ADVICE:

not all of the following accounts post things but they reblog useful info

@writing-with-olive

@tstrangeauthor

@everythingwritingg

@writerthreads

@heywriters

@thewritersphere

@writelively

PS: If you think your account fits any of these categories, feel free to comment! Someone will check it out!!! :D

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kayniee · 2 years

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i just realized i tagged this with a nsft tag and it got shadow banned

Birthday Wishes - Diluc x Reader

You and Diluc had been dating for around two years now, and it was finally his birthday. You had been planning the day for a while now. But what happens when Diluc forgets that it’s his birthday and goes on a day-long commission, leaving you alone with the meal you had prepared him? Maybe he’ll decide to make it up to you during the night..

Requests Open!

Keep reading

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kayniee · 2 years

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REQUESTS OPEN FOR CRIMINAL MINDS!! I recently got into the show, and I'm very excited to write for it! Please let me know if you have ANY requests. I do ships, x readers, x ocs, pretty much everything. Requests are also open for Klance, Mass Effect, and Fallout 4.

#klance #requests open #please request im so bored #mass effect #x reader #reader insert #fallout 4 #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n

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kayniee · 2 years

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Zhongli x Childe - Ghost of a God

In Liyue High, there was no shortage of absurd rumours. Childe had only transfered a month ago, and he had already become privy to quite a few. By far the most ludicrous, he thought, was the one about the ghost living in the walls. But what happens when that particular rumour is proven true?

---

Childe groaned dramatically, making his roommate, Scaramouche, raise an eyebrow. "This is what happens when you procrastinate."

"Shut the fuck up." Childe practically growled. "This is your fault."

"Which mental gymnastics course did you go through to arrive at that conclusion?"

"You didn't fucking remind me that it was goddamn due!"

Scaramouche snorted. "We don't even go to the same high school. Face it, dude. This is your fault. Now stop bitching and get your shit done."

Childe grumbled out a few half-hearted complaints, but he knew that his roommate was right. The ginger had been putting off writing his paper for his History of Liyue class for almost two weeks now. The only reason he was doing it now was because Xiangling had posted in the class group-chat asking for a proof-reader.

He sighed deeply. This goddamn thing was due tomorrow and he hadn't even gotten started on it. There was no way he was getting any sleep.

"Dude, you've got to get your shit together." Childe could hear a hint of amusement in his purple-haired roommate's voice. "You're gonna get shipped back to Snezhnaya if you keep this up, and I don't want fucking Dottore as my new roommate. Have you been in his room? It always smells like fucking formaldehyde." Childe could see Scaramouche smirk out of the corner of his eye. "What would Teucer think?"

"That's low, even for you." Childe deadpanned, making Scaramouche snicker. "But seriously though, I'm trying. I usually get my stuff done, I just got really bored reading about the fucking Stove God 'Massachusets' or whatever the fuck, and I guess I just forgot about it until now."

Scaramouche cackled. "The fucking Stove God? Damn am I glad that I got Inazuma Acadamy instead." He practically wheezed. The ravenette gave Childe a reassuring pound on the back. "You got this, man. There's a coffee from the Angel's Share on the counter when, not if, you need it."

The Snezhnayan sighed again. This was going to be fucking torture.

----

Childe glanced at the clock. 2am. He had already written the intro and half of the body, and despite the coffee he had had an hour ago, he felt like death incarnate. Surely a quick nap wouldn't hurt.. He set an alarm for 3am.

An hour's rest would leave him feeling invigorated and he would get his entire paper done and even get started on his algebra homework.. Yeah, he had this in the bag.

-----

When Scaramouche shook him awake at 7am, however, he realized he most definitely did not have this in the bag.

"You fell asleep?!" The ravenette shouted, looking very pissed off.

"Shut the fuck up - I - I set a fuckin' alarm -" Childe groaned rubbing his eyes. He shook Scaramouche's death-grip off his shoulders, pulling out his phone. There was an alarm set for 3pm.

"If you get kicked out of the Harbinger program I'm going to fucking fly to Snezhnaya and beat your goddamn ass."

Childe's eyebrows furrowed. "The History teacher likes me, she'll maybe-probably give me an extension." Even he could tell that he was spewing bullshit. Ms Ningguang most definitely did not like him, and there was no way in fuck she was giving him an extension for a paper that the class was given two weeks to work on.

"Whatever you say, dude." Scaramouche grimaced. "Good luck, I've got a bus to catch."

Childe heard the door slam. His roommate was definitely pissed off. He would be too, if being forced to share a room with Dottore was a very real possibility.

With a sigh, the ginger grabbed his schoolbag, shoving his laptop into it. He would just have to ask for some extra-credit work.

---

The minute Childe stepped off the bus he was greeted by a very kind greeting of 'you look like shit' from his lockermate, Chongyun.

"Gee, thanks." The ginger replied dryly. "The fuck were you waiting for me?"

"Well, I need to interview some seniors for my project and I thought, who better than the Snezhnayan exchange student, but I'm guessing that you aren't in the mood." The sophomore trailed off.

"You guessed right." Childe snapped, making the younger student flinch. "Sorry, sorry - Long night, as you pointed out earlier. You should go interview Xiangling or Hu Tao. They'd be more than happy to help out."

"Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks anyways. Hope you have a good day." The sophomore said, darting away. Childe tried to push away the pang of guilt that arose from snapping at his innocent lockermate.

He had around 10 minutes before class, so he decided to make his way to the washroom to splash some water on his face and maybe make some more progress on his paper.

"You'll be fine," He muttered into the mirror, trying to ignore the very obvious eyebags that had taken up residence on his face. "What's the worst that can happen, you get shipped back to Snezhnaya, Teucer is disappointed - And your mom too, but mostly Teucer -" He cut himself off. Maybe that wasn't the best thought to spiral into.

"Are you alright?" A baritone voice asked, making Childe jolt. He whipped around. There was a man with shoulder-length brown hair with amber tips tied up into a ponytail staring at him.

"Who the fuck are you?" Childe blurted out.

"Someone willing to listen to you." The man said patiently. "If you'd like to talk."

"Do you go to this school? I've never seen you before." Childe said warily.

The man let out a small chuckle. "Something like that. If you feel uncomfortable you are by no means forced to share with me - I merely thought I would offer."

Childe hesitated. He did have a lot on his chest - And he just shouted at a fucking sophomore trying to interview him for a school project for fuck's sake. Talking to a random bathroom stranger about his problems was a better coping mechanism than screaming at his lockermate. And besides - Said bathroom stranger was really fucking hot.

"I'm an exchange student from Snezhnaya which means I need to keep my grades above a B or I'll be removed from the Harbingers - The exchange program I'm in - And I forgot about a history assignment because I didn't want to research the fucking Stove God and I have professor Ningguang as my History teacher and she doesn't like me because I never pay attention and I always sass her and at one point I may or may not have started a sudo-protest because no-one wanted to do an assignment so if I hadn't done it someone else would've but the point is, I'm going to fail the class and be shipped back to Liyue and my 8 year old brother is going to be disappointed in me so, uh.. Yeah." Childe finished, staring at his feet. Why the fuck did he just tell all that to some random dude he met in the fucking bathroom. He glanced up at the man, expecting judgement, but he was surprised when instead he found amusement.

"That's quite a story."

"Yeah, no shit."

The man paused for a moment. "Perhaps I could be of some assistance."

Childe snorted. "Unless you have a fully written history paper about Massachusetts the Stove God, I doubt it."

The man raised an eyebrow. "I take it you don't know who I am, then."

"Did I not make that clear when I asked 'who the fuck are you' when you snuck up behind me?"

"I thought you were merely being crass."

Childe crossed his arms. "Well, I wasn't. I actually don't know who the fuck you are, believe it or not. Are you some kind of homework genie?"

The man let out a chuckle, but shook his head. "My name is Zhongli. I am a ghost that lives in the walls of Morax High."

"It's Liyue High." Childe interrupted, his brow furrowed. "And how stupid do you think I am? What, you heard about the 'ghost in the walls' rumour and decided to fuck with an innocent student?" The ginger scoffed. "There I was trying to be genuine, telling you my problems and shit, and you go and pull the 'I am a ghost' card."

The man - 'Zhongli' if that even was his name - Sighed. "Yes, I feared I would receive that reaction. Would you allow me to prove myself to you?"

"Sure, why not. Let the bathroom stranger prove that he's a ghost. This ought to be good."

Zhongli then proceeded to fucking walk through Childe.

The ginger whirled around to gape at Zhongli, who was now behind him. Because he fucking walked through him. Like a ghost. Which he was claiming to be. And - Holy fuck he wasn't lying. He's a ghost. Childe just met a ghost.

"Was that adequate?" The brunette simply stated, raising an eyebrow.

"I - Uh - Y - Yeah - You said you could help me?" Childe stammered out. Hey, if there was a bathroom ghost offering to help you not get deported back to Snezhnaya, you say yes. Especially if the ghost is handsome.

"I did. I just so happen to sit in on quite a few of Professor Ningguang's lessons, and I have completed this essay multiple times." He pulled a USB drive from his pocket and handed it to a rather dumbfounded Childe. "This has a copy of a perfectly written paper - Proofread and everything - That you may submit to your class. In return, I only ask that you return here again to speak with me. You need only say my name. As you may imagine, I do not have much to occupy my time, so please feel free to call on me any time you please as long as you are on school property."

"Why?" Childe stammered out. Zhongli raised an eyebrow. "I mean - Why me? Why do you want to talk to me? I've heard the rumours, people don't usually talk with you longer than a few moments and then they never see you again, and they certainly don't get fucking copies of papers from you, so why me? What makes me different?"

Zhongly merely shrugged. "I am not sure. I find you quite intriguing, and wish to spend more time with you. And yes, it is true, I have never done this before. You are by no means required to call upon me again. Regardless, you may keep the paper. But I would like it very much if you did."

"I - I'll keep that in mind." Childe swallowed thickly. "I've - Uh - Got to get to class. I'll 'call on you' at some point - You're really interesting, and, uh, kinda hot, too, so yeah - I've got to go now bye!" Childe hurried out, heat rushing to his cheeks. He just called the bathroom ghost hot. He needed mental help. He quickly turned in the paper that Zhongli had supplied him, not bothering to go over it to check for errors.

----

Childe zoned out during class and teetered dangerously close to falling asleep a few times. Ms Ningguang was teaching them about the 'God of War' - Morax. Hey, that was what Zhongli called the high school, wasn't it - Morax High.

"Morax often liked to wander amongst Liyue posing as a regular person. This was, in fact, how he met his demise. While in a persona that he often used he, weakened by his temporary mortal form, was ambushed by thieves and slaughtered. He often went by the name Zhongli."

Childe's brain fucking stopped. What. The fuck. He scrambled to flip to the textbook illustration of Morax. Staring back at him was a brunette man, a bit taller than Childe. His hair had amber tips, and his knowing eyes were all too familiar.

----

Zhongli was feeling rather rattled after the interesting conversation that he had with the rather peculiar Snezhnayan transfer. He wasn't sure what had brought him to offer a listening ear to the ginger, but he felt an odd attraction towards him. The ghost found him interesting, challenging, and, sure, attractive. But giving him the answers to a paper?

He paced along the roof, making sure to remain invisible as not to garner unwanted attention. Giving the boy - Childe - his name and the means to call him, as well? That wasn't something Zhongli did. Ever.

And why did he have this giddy feeling in his stomach? He didn't like it. He hadn't felt like this since he died. Since Guizhong. Since Liyue.

He was a ghost. He was dead. He knew that. Childe had no reason to ever want to speak with him. It was extremely unlikely that he would make good on his promise to call on Zhongli. But the ghost couldn't help but hope.

As the weeks went bye, however, that hope slowly began to fade. Zhongli roamed around the school as usual, keeping an eye on the ginger student that had caught his eye. But then - The letter appeared, marked by a call of Zhongli's name and left in the same bathroom where they had first met.

'Zhongli,

This is Childe. I wanted to speak with you, but at the same time I didn't because I'm really fucking awkward and I think you're really fucking cool but I found something else about you that I just want you to confirm or deny. Are you Morax, the God of War?'

Zhongli's heart dropped. How the Snezhnayan had found his identity out, he had no clue, but he knew the smart thing to do - Completely disappear off the student's radar. He definitely shouldn't write back. That would be downright irresponsible. Stupid, even. Completely idiotic.

'Childe,

Yes, I am Morax, the God of War. How you came to possess that information is beyond me, but I see no point in hiding it.

Zhongli.'

The ghost waited anxiously for the ginger student's reply. Thankfully, the gap between interactions didn't last nearly as long, and a letter appeared in the bathroom the very next day with a call of Zhongli's name.

'Zhongli,

Holy fucking shit that's insane. You're an actual God. That's terrifying but also sorta hot as well. I'm assuming you want me to keep all this stuff secret so I won't tell anyone. By the way, I called you hot when we first met and nearly fucking died of embarrassment and then wrote that you were hot here so uh yeah, I think you're hot. Just wanted to say that. Also could we maybe speak like this for a while cuz I'm better at flirting over writing because awkward. And yeah I'd like to flirt with you. If that's okay.'

Zhongli reread the letter once, then twice. Then he read it a third time. Childe, the ginger student he had been borderline obsessing with for weeks, found him attractive? This was far more than the ghost could have ever hoped for.

'Childe,

You have no reason to be terrified of me. I lost my powers when I died. And even if I did possess them, I would not use them to harm you. I also find you attractive - 'Cute', even. And I am completely alright with continuing to send letters back and forth. You are the first person to show an interest in me since the 1700s. I am willing to take this 'flirting' however slow you would like.

Yours, Zhongli.'

This pattern went on for a month. Childe would bring a letter to the bathroom in the morning, marked with a call of Zhongli's name. Zhongli would respond by lunch, during which Childe would make his way to the washroom and grab the note. Zhongli never got to see the ginger's response to his attempts at flirting, as Childe chose to read the letters at home. But Zhongli always saw the grin that spread across Childe's face when he saw the folded up piece of paper at lunch.

But then one day, when Zhongli was walking through the cafeteria at lunch, he saw Childe's arm around another man's shoulder and felt jealousy shoot through his entire being. It hurt.. So much.. More than it had any right to. They had only been together - Or obviously not together, he supposed, if Childe was doing this - For a month and a bit.. But it still felt like Zhongli had died all over again.

The next day, the ghost couldn't bring himself to read the letter. He didn't write a response, either, the thought of confronting his sudo-boyfriend more terrifying than an exorcism. He felt so stupid. So gullible.. So betrayed.

A week or so passed of this. Zhongli stopped listening in on classes and tried to avoid Childe at any costs - Not that the ginger would know that he was nearby, anyways. But every time he caught a glimpse of him, the pangs of hurt came back, and Zhongli saw his arm around the other man all over again.

After yet another week of this, Zhongli was doing his usual routine of moping on the roof feeling sorry for himself when he felt himself being pulled across the building. He was met with a puffy-eyed Snezhnayan in the men's changing room.

"Why?" The ginger said in a hollow voice. "We were getting along so well - And you're the first boyfriend I've ever had - The first person I've ever actually liked, too, so why did you just stop replying?" Ah, so he did consider then boyfriends.

"You clearly did not value our relationship as much as I did."

"What could possibly have made you think that?"

"You with your arm around that other man in the cafeteria two Mondays ago." Zhongli stated plainly.

Childe's brow furrowed. "Y - You mean Scaramouche? He's my roommate - He's my friend, and he's straight. Heterosexual. Interested in girls, and girls exclusively. I like you, not fucking Scaramouche, but if this is how you're going to treat our relationship, I don't think I want to be part of it."

Zhongli's eyes widened and he materialized his hand to grab Childe's wrist, but the ginger pulled away, glaring at the ghost furiously.

"Here I was thinking I did something wrong - Something seriously wrong - But no, you got all jealous because I put my arm around my straight friend's shoulder on open house day. This is fucking crazy. You realize that, right, Zhongli? That this is fucking crazy?"

How could Zhongli have been so stupid? This wasn't the 19th century, people could put their arms around each other's shoulders platonically. He was an idiot. He may have just ruined the only chance at a relationship he would ever have. "I'm so sorry -"

Childe scoffed and put up a hand. "Save it."

Zhongli grabbed him, his thoughts swimming, and slammed his lips against his. Childe froze, and Zhongli noticed that he didn't kiss back.

The ginger pulled away and let out a hollow laugh. "This is how you apologize? You ruin our first kiss? I'm done. I can't do this any more, Zhongli. You ruined this.." He shook his head, disappointed, then walked out of the changing room.

Zhongli felt broken. His chest hurt horribly, and he felt like a terrible person. He had just ruined everything with a man he loved.. Loved. He loved Childe. And now he would never get the chance to show him that.

#angst #hurt no comfort #hnc #zhongchi #childe x zhongli #genshin chili #chili #zhongli #childe #zhongli x childe #fluff #fluff and angst #but mostly angst #omg this is so trash im sorry for writing this

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