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darthstitch · 1 year
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Professor Mysterious and Professor Wet Cat
This is my take on that Dreamling post making the rounds about Hob and Dream being uni professors and that Hob is surprisingly NOT the prof who overshares and Dream is the one who inadvertently does.
Buckle up, kids, let's have some fun with this. Also, gentle reminder: NOBODY TELL NEIL. SHHHH!
This time around, Hob's using his proper name, Robert Gadling, because it's been a while since he's trotted that one out and he kinda likes the seeming rightness that the once upon a time near-illiterate medieval peasant that he'd been was now teaching at a rather prestigious university. However, he's not prone to sharing much about his personal life to his students. He's still warm and friendly, but he's cautious about letting Certain Things slip.
Hilariously, the things that do slip end up making him everyone's favorite university cryptid. Sometimes Hob slips into Middle English when he's stressed or emotional. Sometimes he might use odd old-fashioned sounding oaths like "God's wounds," "Holy Jesu," and "Mother Mary's teats" (this last one sends everyone into spasms of laughter).
The literature department ADORES him because they can always drag Professor Gadling off to read Chaucer in its original form or even medieval French, his pronunciation perfect and dead on. Shakespeare is the only thing he'll flat out refuse to read because in any universe this Fuzzy Blue Alien's gonna write, his hatred of the Bard is the stuff of legend.
The students universally agree that Professor G is basically British Indiana Jones, because he's also known to have lethal expertise in medieval weapons. There's been more than a few fantasies inspired during the booked-solid outdoor demonstrations where he works in tandem with the other medieval history professors to show everyone how medieval weapons worked. Apparently, his favorite weapons are the longbow, the bastard sword and daggers.
Obviously, this all leads to Professor Gadling being the campus crush and his relationship status is a matter of hot speculation even if he's made it perfectly clear he was not about to violate his ethical standards or position as a teacher. It still doesn't stop the fevered fantasies of more than a few grad students, though. But that's all they're gonna get.
And then, there's the new literature teacher, Professor T. Murphy.
To everyone's disappointment, Professor Murphy is only going to be at the university for a limited series of lectures. Word of mouth spread fast, and his classes were now booked solid and he was going to be asked to return, once his apparently very busy schedule is cleared.
7. Of course, he's an instant campus crush, with the "Goth angel" looks, the Edward Cullen jokes are definitely flying and there's more than a few students melting after they heard him speak. "That Voice" is always referred to in capital letters and it's well deserved.
8. "Campus crush" turns to "Official Precious Blorbo" once the students all discover that behind the whole regal and imperious Goth Prince vibe that he gave off, was an adorkable darling wet cat who was just completely gone on "my beloved." If he's discussing a love sonnet or poem, there's definitely going to be a reference to "my beloved" or "my dearest" or "my love." It's never sickeningly cloying and the sweet tiny little smile that takes over his normally serious face is like sunshine. The kilig feels are real.
9. He's also forever worrying that he's not enough for "my dearest" as he's rather painfully aware "of my lack in human graces" - which everyone translates to "OMG HELP I HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS OF A SCRUNKLY WET CAT." He frets that he's somehow failing his beloved, who is infinitely sweet and thoughtful and caring and that Professor Murphy is the selfish one, really, who doesn't deserve the man.
10. The students, of course, immediately ADOPT him. Tesco ice cream runs are done, YouTube videos on cooking and invites to kitchens are extended so Professor Murphy could practice making something that is "not a catastrophic culinary disaster unfit for human consumption." There was a session on the language of flowers, which everyone had enjoyed. For a while, flowers with significant meanings were presented to sweethearts and lovers all over the uni. There's an unforgettable after-class meeting in which the craft-inclined students teach Professor Murphy how to knit and crochet and he was really rather proud of the scarf he had created.
11. Professor Murphy's raven had been rather entertained playing with the yarn scraps. The students learn that the raven's name is Matthew.
12. And then, dashing, mysterious Professor Gadling finally peeks into Professor Murphy's class.
"The things I do for you, myne owne hertis rote. Bloody Shaxberd."
"But you do read him so very well, my love." And there it was, that tiny, soft, sweet smile, now aimed in Professor Gadling's direction.
Professor Gadling sighs and puts a hand over his chest. There's a very familiar scarf draped over his neck. "God's wounds, dove, warn your poor, long-suffering husband before you do these things."
"What 'things,' dearest?"
Professor Gadling waves his arms helplessly. The scarf slips a little, offering a tantalizing view of a purplish mark on his throat. "That thing!" He looks appealingly at the students, who are now all stifling their delighted giggles. "Look at him! My heart can only take so much!"
And that was how everyone found out that Professors Gadling and Murphy were actually happily married.
Incidentally, the Shakespeare reading, in which both professors took part, was a true kilig apocalypse. Instant campus legend.
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part 3 of my hope!hob Pandora's box au
part 1 part 2
word count: 1317
Once they got through the door of his apartment, Morpheus hung up his keys, sat the various bags by the door and started towards the kitchen. "I'm gonna make us some tea, do you have a preference?"
"what do you have?" hope asked heading to the living room to look at all the things morpheus had strewn around in there, morpheus noted the way he held every item as if they were the most important and delicate things in the world with wonder on his face, as if he could see something morpheus, the owner of said items, could pointedly NOT see. he's been staring too long. open the cabinet, this is ridiculous, he is far beyond your comprehension "uh, I’ve got black, green, chamomile, raspberry, jasmine, lavender, lemon, hibiscus, and rose" saying the list outloud made morpheus feel like he had to much until he heard hope scurrying towards the kitchen ending with him bracing himself on the door frame with a (very bright) look of joy on his face.
"They made tea out of roses?" He said it so softly and full of awe, as if the very thought of such a thing existing put the world in a new light, and technically it did, there was a delicate glow radiating off of hope, drenching his apartment in warm light that he could almost feel his possessions absorbing. looking back at hope, and subsequently in his eyes, morpheus could see... something, he wasn't sure what but there was definitely something there.
"yes, they did" he said still holding the cabinet open and nodding slowly "would you like some?" hope smiled and nodded his head quickly "would like honey and sugar in it?" somehow hope got even brighter as he nodded.
Hob watched morpheus as he made tea, he noted how every move he made was graceful and precise, he made it seem like this kitchen was a stage, and with that ruby around his neck it seemed like he was in costume. the ruby was large, larger than any jewels he had seen people on the street wearing while they were out, it was also set differently than them too, older maybe?
"Where'd you get that ruby?" he asked walking a little closer
"hm?" looking up from the cup of tea and turning to him "oh, my husband gave it to me before we got married." he said handing hope the tea.
"you're married?" hob could feel his light dimming.
"Oh no, that was a very very long time ago. He's been dead a long time" he sighed as he walked back to the kitchen to make his own cup of tea.
"do you miss him?" had he been human hob would’ve said that the words caught in his throat and tore it up and he didn't know why. but he's not human so he won't say that.
"no, not really" he said without looking up from his cup "i didn't really want to marry him in the first place"
"Then why'd you marry him?" his not-a-throat is fine now.
"my parents wanted me to, and i didn't really have anything else going on so..." the nonchalance and the dismissive hand wave he had when he said this baffled hope, it was as if he was talking about going to the market with someone who was already planning to go to the market, not MARRYING SOMEONE.
"could you tell me about him?" Hope asked, sipping his tea and sitting down on the couch.
"you really want to hear about that?" he asked, sitting down on an armchair "it's really not that interesting."
"Well you still need to tell me a story, you haven't told me one yet!" he said eagerly, leaning forward. "you don't have to talk about just him, you can tell me about your family, your village, how you met my sister? because how DID you meet her? let me hear about your life before you tell me about everyone else's."
"al-alright um," he said shifting in his seat "well, let's start with my family i suppose"
Morpheus talked about his village, and how everyone knew everyone, the feuds, the loves, the market and the woman who sold the best oranges and how she saved a few just for him every week. about the old story teller in the square that everyone thought was crazy and the stories he'd heard from him. how his mother made fish at the solstices. how he didnt know the people of his village very well, just all their problems that came up in the gossip, which he also talked about. He talked about how they spoke of him, calling him 'hopeless' and the distance they kept from him.
He talked of how he met his husband. He talked of their wedding, about life living in his husband's kastro and how he felt like he was just there to be a pretty face to walk the halls. He talked of the kastro staff and their gossip, about the night he met death. how his life went after that, the worship in the beginning (which he was not fond of), the way they hunted him eventually. he talked of each life and each name he lived their virtues and vices and pointed to the various items around the room while he did so, mere scraps to hold entire lives in his hands.
By the time he stopped talking, the sun had set and the moon was high. Hope's tea was gone and morpheus's tea was cold and long forgotten in the cup he held.
“ah” he sighed “looks like i’ve kept you nearly long enough to see apollo again,” he placed his cup on the side table “suppose that will have to do for now, i’ve got to be getting ready for work.” he said as he started getting up.
it was a strange thing, to see hope scurry, this time at least, earlier, well yesterday really, the scurry held wonder and well, hope, this scurry however, was different it was more, oh what’s the word? that’s the problem with being a writer (and knowing far more languages than any man should really need to but that is beside the point) there’s to many words in your head, they get all mixed up. “can’t i come with you? i love to see what you teach!” morpheus contemplated it for a moment ‘it would help him underst- Hazel Tarcey has class today and i'd never hear the end of it' morpheus sucked in a breath "perhaps another time, i have to... conduct a mid... semester... check in." he desperately (was that the word he was looking for?) hopes that was at all convincing "i'd hate to have my students fall behind." hes smiles, around 700 a.d. he figured out that if he smiled after a lie people seemed to believe him, he wasn't sure why. He ALSO learned to use it sparingly around the 1500s. it was rather bothersome being hanged, always left a large bruise on his neck (for weeks!) and he'd always have to play dead until nightfall.
"oh..! alright. well..." hope looked down at his feet then the rest of the room "is there... something i could..." Hope looked at him briefly then looked away again "never mind!" Hope laughed, morpheus tilted his head. "Just, light the candle when you've got another story for me!" Hope was smiling, but Morpheus wasn't sure it was really, he'd alway had trouble with that. "Okay, well... i'll see y, i'll... call? no that's not it... flame? absolutely not. I'll light the candle, see you later." with a hand wave he was off to his room, words the damned things.
Hob stood alone in the room. He didn't want to leave. "okay.. bye" he waved to no one. and dissipated as a sun beam from the sunrise filled the room.
TAG LIST: (its been so long im sorry)
@apples-no-oranges
@ehzrii-aerii
@s0ul4rsblog
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evilkaeya · 1 year
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DREAMLING COLLEGE PROFESSORS AU
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garagepanic · 2 years
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helping with the lecture work
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one-time-i-dreamt · 28 days
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I was hired as Taylor Swift's bodyguard because she wanted to go back to college. She was very upset that no one cared that she was Taylor Swift. She was very upset that I didn’t know she was Taylor Swift. She bribed my professors to fail all my classes because of that.
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furiosophie · 2 years
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i know someone must have done this already but--
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based on this post by @chaotic-kass
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Nintendo Direct 2/8/2023 without context:
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behindxa · 1 year
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"You gotta focus on the board, guys."
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designtheendless · 1 year
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*Matthew didn’t appreciate that*
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siren-444 · 5 months
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claustrophobiccat · 4 months
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No bitches?
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darthstitch · 1 year
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That moment when you're in the middle of class and everyone's favorite history professor pokes his head in and says:
" 'Lo, I'm looking for a... hmmm, Professor Murphy, was it? He's about yea high, looks like Snow White's twin brother, and has abominable taste in English literature because Shakespeare, good Christ... "
And at this point, the class is snickering and your professor slants a fond, totally exasperated look at the intruder and says, "Hello, my love. Shall I recite Sonnet 29 for you again, in the way it would have been spoken in those days?"
"I cry your mercy, m'lord, I don't think my heart can take that right now."
Yeah, your lit and history profs who are so very married and STILL flirt with each other. Sana all feels are real.
***
Sorry. Plot bunny got loose. *herds it back*
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part 2 of my hope!hob Pandora's box au
part 1 part 3
word count: 2079
Morpheus picks the candle up and rolls it in his hand, examining it. it's not really anything special, just a yellow prayer candle. The glass is completely blank showing off the candle completely. He runs his fingers over the smooth glass considering putting something on it, like a sticker or something. Does he even have any stickers? Does hope even like stickers? Does he know what stickers are? He shakes the thoughts from his head and instead thinks about what story to tell. He'd thought about it a lot over the past few days. He's lived so long. How could he possibly choose where to start? Would hope have some sort of request?
he eventually decides to just light it, maybe his audience will inspire him and everything will work itself out once hope is here. Morpheus grabs a match and lights the candle and for a moment, everything is still. Morpheus looks around not seeing anything change and wonders if he did what he was supposed to. Maybe he was supposed to light it on an altar? Moving to a small table in his living room, he notices all the lights in his house are getting noticeably brighter until he has to set the candle down on the little table and cover his eyes from the blinding light. He keeps his face covered until he can tell the light has died down. When he uncovers his eyes he sees hope looking at him with a confused look.
"why were you covering your face?" he asks as Morpheus blinks away the floaters from hopes entrance
"your entrance was very bright" he says rubbing his eyes "if i hadn't it would have caused some serious damage to my eyes"
"oh I'm so sorry" hope apologizes stepping back and pulling his hands seemingly into his chest "I didn't know I'll try not to do it next time" he says looking down.
"It's alright, I doubt you can help it" Morpheus says turning back to the little table kneeling "next time I'll just close my eyes and face the wall after I light the candle." he assures hope as he clears the table of its previous inhabitants.
"What are you doing?" Hope asks, peering over his shoulder.
"I'm making a specific space for your candle." He explains picking up the candle to wipe down the table. He doesn't notice the endless' start to glow behind him.
"like.. an, alter?" hope inquires expectantly. no one had ever made HIM an alter before, it was always for some lesser being, made to syphon from him through a god or deity, he could feel it while he was in the box. he felt the faint pull in his chest, the construction and destruction of temples and altars made for others in an attempt to reach him through them. to have an altar made with specifically him in mind, well, it was... flattering.
"Yeah, an altar. seems like the most efficient way to do this, to get you caught up when I'm busy. I can just leave you things and you can examine them to learn about the current state of the world." he explains, dusting off his hands and standing up "does seem a little bland right now though huh? I don't think my darker colors really match your candle though, gonna have to go out and get some white and gold stuff." he adds examining the bare 'alter' with nothing but a candle, 'hardly counts as an alter right now though'
Morpheus turns to face hope, noticing he's still wearing a tunic. "how about instead of a story we can go get you a new wardrobe and some stuff for your altar?" he suggests looking hope up and down "you'll have to change though, i think my clothes will fit you"
"i- i mean- yeah, sure, sounds fun." Hob can feel himself falling through the words, first the mortal makes him an altar then offers to not only buy him clothes but choose things for his altar? He stands there lost in thought for a moment until the aforementioned mortal speaks to him once more.
"Also, will you stay here if I snuff the candle? I don't want to waste it." he asks handing him a set of completely black clothes 'he doesn't want to waste it' hob thinks with a smile. "yes I will, is there a room I can change in?" after Morpheus helps him to the bathroom and leaves hope to change, he snuffs the candle and makes a small list of the things he knows he has to get:
gold tablecloth
white lace runner
small offering tray
one (1) nice outfit for hope
they'd have to go somewhere nearby, hope doesn't seem like he'd be too keen on travelling by anything other than foot. Luckily there's a small boutique and second hand store nearby where they should be able to get everything. hob walks out with the clothes slightly askew and holding a pair of shoes.
"I do not know how to put these on," he says, raising them slightly higher. Morpheus looks up from his list surveying hope in his clothes.
"I probably should've helped you, apologies" he says adjusting the clothes slightly "but you managed to get the socks on so overall I'd say this is a success" he declares, motioning for hope to sit down on the couch. as soon as he does Morpheus kneels to help hope with the shoes
"Will the clothes we get me today look like this?" Hope asks as he watches Morpheus tie the left shoe.
"no, were going to get you something nicer, these clothes are just easy to take off and put on" he explains tying the right shoe "makes the whole process of clothes shopping easier" he sighs looking up "ready to go?" he asks standing up, hope nods. "alright let's go then."
the shops truly aren't that far. a ten minute walk at best. They don't talk much as Morpheus is too lost in thought and hope is too enamoured by the advancements of civilization, so enamoured in fact that he almost gets hit by a car. If Morpheus hadn't pulled him back onto the sidewalk at the last second he would've been very uncomfortable. He takes a minute to process what's going on and notices he is very close to Morpheus, almost burrowed into his chest with his arms wrapped around him. and Morpheus is so very comfortable and warm with the long coat he has on an-
"Okay" the word cuts through Hob's thoughts like a xiphos as Morpheus backs up to look him in the eyes and holds out his hand "take my hand."
"why?" If hob were human he'd say he could feel the blood rushing to his face as his eyes widened. but he's not human so he could soundly tell you  that he was glowing slightly.
"So you don't go, somehow unknowingly, stepping into oncoming traffic." he explains as he holds his hand up a little higher, hob takes it and they continue on their way.
Morpheus wouldn't say he was out of his depth when it came to clothes shopping, he just didn't buy color very offten. All of his clothes were various shades of black and dark grey with a few lighter greys (to which his students never failed to make a comment along the lines of 'busting out the spring collection I see' ) but looking at hope in his clothes... well he just didn't look right in black. but trying to figure out what base color to start with was tricky. black was out of the picture but yellow seemed too strong to use as a base. Eventually he settled on a white button up to layer with some sort of sweater. Maybe that's where the yellow could come in? He could worry about that in a moment, he should deal with the rest of the outfit first then the rest of the layers. He looked over all his options, made some choices and measured them against hope to get the right size and sent him to try them on and went looking for some layers. Maybe a blue sweater? but then the colors would-
"professor galanis?" uh oh "what are you doing here? its for sure not your style.'' This much was very true, though he hadn't expected to run into any of his students so he absolutely did not come up with a cover story.
"well, i-"
"hey, could you help me with this?'' The students' eyes go wide and Morpheus can't tell if the interruption is a blessing or curse but goes to help nonetheless. After defeating the buttons he hands hope a couple sweaters to try on and turns around to see his student still standing there.
"sorry about that I-"
"don't even worry about it sir." she says with a smile "sorry for interrupting your … outing." he’s going to get so many questions on Monday "i'll just-"
"actually, could you help me?" he will never hear the end of them "I'm not much of a color person and I need to pick out some accessories"
her eyes light up and she smiles wider "of course sir, i wasn't planning on buying anything anyways"
They spend far more time in the store than Morpheus had planned and by the end of the trip Hope has several outfits with accessories to match. The outfit he's wearing to replace Morpheus's clothes consists of a pair of cuffed blue jeans, a pale yellow sweater over a white button up, a string of fake pearls and a pair of converse.
"Thank you Ms. Tarcey," he says as they start heading out.
"no problem Mr. g, I came out to window shop and this was way more fun!" she says, opening the door.
"I'm sure it was," he says with a laugh "to show my gratitude, I'm willing to give you full marks on the writing assignment I know you haven't started." he offers as they get to the street watching as her eyes go wide and mouth falls open. "Now this is a one time thing. I will not offer this if you help me again." he warns, grabbing Hope's hand before he can run down the sidewalk to follow a dog.
"sir you have no idea how much that helps me" she mumbles, face still in total shock.
"I actually do," he quips. "have a good evening Ms. Tarcey. I'll see you Monday" he says leading hope to the secondhand store across the street.
"who was that?" hob asks once they're in the store.
"one of my students." Morpheus says inspecting a tablecloth. "I teach creative writing" he clarifies, putting the tablecloth back and picking up another. "What do you think of this one?" he asks, handing the fabric to hope.
The cloth is a rich yellow with a light shine, when the light hits it, shifting it reveals a pattern akin to Victorian woodwork, hob doesn't know that of course but he thinks it's beautiful anyways. He looks over to Morpheus who is carefully inspecting other tablecloths and table runners. hob notes how sharp his facial features are, how … elegant … they look. Morpheus turns back to him and he shakes the notion from his head.
"so..?"
"huh? oh, OH, yes i like it, it's perfect" hob chastises himself over how the words come out and picks up a thin lace table runner and pretends to examine it to keep his eyes from wandering. "this one's nice isn't it?"
"mm" he agrees silently, taking it from hob’s hand  and putting it in the small basket on his arm and walking towards a different part of the store. As he's following a small dish catches hob’s eye, well it's not really a dish, it's a scallop shell with a castle on a hill painted in blue on the inside and the edges are painted gold. He carefully turns it over in his hand examining it closely.
"Do you like it?"
Hob turns and sees Morpheus is behind him looking over his shoulder "oh yes, isn't it cool?" he beams, staring into morpheus's very.. pretty.. pale blue.. eyes.
"It is very pretty," he says, taking it from Hope's hand, examining it himself for a moment before gently putting it in the basket. "lets go check out." he says with a small smile and hob glows a tad.
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one-time-i-dreamt · 6 months
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I was doing a Physics test alone, but then my 60 year old professor started performing Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake" by herself. I woke up when I tried to clap.
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..
extra:
(it was a spring morning)
(he was a frail boy with no friends)
(he ran into you from across the wall)
(you said hello to him, and asked him to play along)
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(at that very moment, he received his lifelong—)
extra 2: oscar boogaloo
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yeahhhh....iykyk
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bearofohu · 8 months
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took a nap and had a dream that they were showing nwos gameplay footage at the tokyo game show and it was like GTA-style gameplay with luke driving layton around in the frog mech. except luke kept steering the frog mech into sidewalks PACKED with steam bison npcs and like completely plowing them over complete with blood and screaming but their screams were being drowned out by layton having a single voice clip of “GOOD HEAVENS MY BOY”
and then akihiro hino was like “sorry we only have this one voice clip for now” so GOOD HEAVENS MY BOY kept repeating and overlapping on itself while luke just kept tearing thru pedestrians sending them flying and making the gameplay footage lag
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