#pffthahahaha
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Professor Mysterious and Professor Wet Cat
This is my take on that Dreamling post making the rounds about Hob and Dream being uni professors and that Hob is surprisingly NOT the prof who overshares and Dream is the one who inadvertently does.
Buckle up, kids, let's have some fun with this. Also, gentle reminder: NOBODY TELL NEIL. SHHHH!
This time around, Hob's using his proper name, Robert Gadling, because it's been a while since he's trotted that one out and he kinda likes the seeming rightness that the once upon a time near-illiterate medieval peasant that he'd been was now teaching at a rather prestigious university. However, he's not prone to sharing much about his personal life to his students. He's still warm and friendly, but he's cautious about letting Certain Things slip.
Hilariously, the things that do slip end up making him everyone's favorite university cryptid. Sometimes Hob slips into Middle English when he's stressed or emotional. Sometimes he might use odd old-fashioned sounding oaths like "God's wounds," "Holy Jesu," and "Mother Mary's teats" (this last one sends everyone into spasms of laughter).
The literature department ADORES him because they can always drag Professor Gadling off to read Chaucer in its original form or even medieval French, his pronunciation perfect and dead on. Shakespeare is the only thing he'll flat out refuse to read because in any universe this Fuzzy Blue Alien's gonna write, his hatred of the Bard is the stuff of legend.
The students universally agree that Professor G is basically British Indiana Jones, because he's also known to have lethal expertise in medieval weapons. There's been more than a few fantasies inspired during the booked-solid outdoor demonstrations where he works in tandem with the other medieval history professors to show everyone how medieval weapons worked. Apparently, his favorite weapons are the longbow, the bastard sword and daggers.
Obviously, this all leads to Professor Gadling being the campus crush and his relationship status is a matter of hot speculation even if he's made it perfectly clear he was not about to violate his ethical standards or position as a teacher. It still doesn't stop the fevered fantasies of more than a few grad students, though. But that's all they're gonna get.
And then, there's the new literature teacher, Professor T. Murphy.
To everyone's disappointment, Professor Murphy is only going to be at the university for a limited series of lectures. Word of mouth spread fast, and his classes were now booked solid and he was going to be asked to return, once his apparently very busy schedule is cleared.
7. Of course, he's an instant campus crush, with the "Goth angel" looks, the Edward Cullen jokes are definitely flying and there's more than a few students melting after they heard him speak. "That Voice" is always referred to in capital letters and it's well deserved.
8. "Campus crush" turns to "Official Precious Blorbo" once the students all discover that behind the whole regal and imperious Goth Prince vibe that he gave off, was an adorkable darling wet cat who was just completely gone on "my beloved." If he's discussing a love sonnet or poem, there's definitely going to be a reference to "my beloved" or "my dearest" or "my love." It's never sickeningly cloying and the sweet tiny little smile that takes over his normally serious face is like sunshine. The kilig feels are real.
9. He's also forever worrying that he's not enough for "my dearest" as he's rather painfully aware "of my lack in human graces" - which everyone translates to "OMG HELP I HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS OF A SCRUNKLY WET CAT." He frets that he's somehow failing his beloved, who is infinitely sweet and thoughtful and caring and that Professor Murphy is the selfish one, really, who doesn't deserve the man.
10. The students, of course, immediately ADOPT him. Tesco ice cream runs are done, YouTube videos on cooking and invites to kitchens are extended so Professor Murphy could practice making something that is "not a catastrophic culinary disaster unfit for human consumption." There was a session on the language of flowers, which everyone had enjoyed. For a while, flowers with significant meanings were presented to sweethearts and lovers all over the uni. There's an unforgettable after-class meeting in which the craft-inclined students teach Professor Murphy how to knit and crochet and he was really rather proud of the scarf he had created.
11. Professor Murphy's raven had been rather entertained playing with the yarn scraps. The students learn that the raven's name is Matthew.
12. And then, dashing, mysterious Professor Gadling finally peeks into Professor Murphy's class.
"The things I do for you, myne owne hertis rote. Bloody Shaxberd."
"But you do read him so very well, my love." And there it was, that tiny, soft, sweet smile, now aimed in Professor Gadling's direction.
Professor Gadling sighs and puts a hand over his chest. There's a very familiar scarf draped over his neck. "God's wounds, dove, warn your poor, long-suffering husband before you do these things."
"What 'things,' dearest?"
Professor Gadling waves his arms helplessly. The scarf slips a little, offering a tantalizing view of a purplish mark on his throat. "That thing!" He looks appealingly at the students, who are now all stifling their delighted giggles. "Look at him! My heart can only take so much!"
And that was how everyone found out that Professors Gadling and Murphy were actually happily married.
Incidentally, the Shakespeare reading, in which both professors took part, was a true kilig apocalypse. Instant campus legend.
#dreamling#the sandman#dream of the endless#hob gadling#dream x hob#professor dream#professor gadling#i crack what i want#history and literature class cryptids#pffthahahaha#shhh nobody tell neil
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“i don’t know why spanish is so funny to me” condi???
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RWBY Volume 9 - Episode 1: My reaction
I was getting so worried cos I kept getting "Cannot access videos at this time" Guess it wouldn't be a RWBY premier if we didn't overload the website XD
Oh gosh I usually increase the play speed so I can get RWBY into my veins faster, the suspense is killing me!
I love little details like Ruby getting the sand off her cape before moving on, the body language is so good!
Ruby ascending from adorable teen to cringing young adult with the cat ear bit is perfect XD
Awe not Blake & Weiss reunion hug ,:( Ooooh Weiss doesn't wanna talk about what happened after the other fell, oof
Wow their Aura's still must be burnt out, but also oh my gosh Weiss is such a dork XD
Pffthahahaha, Weiss has her priorates skewed, she's gonna struggle with Wonderland XD
I fucking love these little mice, fucking lunatics all of them. Also oh gosh, Little is so fucking cute, did not expect things to be resolved so quickly, but then its not strictly necessary to show Little's intro either.
Oooh I like the shot with us not seeing Weiss's face.
Also holy shit the Jabberwocky is creepy as fuck, it sup there with the Hound for skin crawling intensity!
Did Ruby just acknowledge Yang as the one who raised her!? I AM OVERJOYED BEST VOLUME!
THE BEES TACKLE HUG!!!!!!!
Holy shit, I didn't expect Weiss to spill the beans tat quick, also interesting she knows Penny sacrificed herself, guess I guessed right about when Ruby passes out though, OOF!
Little fanning Ruby, they are actually helpful, and so FUCKING CUTE!!!
Ah Ruby, not processing your trauma as always I see. I love the detail of Blake taking up the leadership role when Ruby can't as she does have experience. Oh wow, Yang legit thought she was dead.
Oooh that delivery of the fairytale line was so good!
Oooh I love this theme song intro, and the graphics/color choices, very cool, though oooh snap, Ruby is deep impacted.
Oh snap, the racoon works for the smith, we see the girl, Neo has allies, the cat & red queen aaaah!
Also we haven’t seen the last of the jabberwocky either it seems!
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change your icon back or i'm gonna have to unfollow
pffthahahaha huh? okay
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Totally not drunk rn. Totally. Pffthahahaha.
#roderick speaks#vtm rp#ic#drunkposting#((just look at this neurodivergent idiot being an idiot i love him your honor
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Anime men can have dicks or anime men can have that ken doll anatomy. Schrodinger's dick lol
-🍶
Pffthahahaha best way to put it!
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Toriel and Tauriel
this makes tutorials
toriel by oucu-d9g8ejl
#bad puns#I REGRET NOTHING!#just came to me and had to do it#tutorial#PFfthahahaha#undertale#toriel#the hobbit#the movie#tauriel
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The Century War of Wyverns Part 5: Dark Jeanne
Previous | Contents | Next
Cat: aaaaah it's finally done! That took forever!!
Kris: Blame Jalter for sticking four fight scenes in a single chapter.
Jeanne: We should definitely rethink how we organize chapters after this singularity is finished.
Cat: Anyway! We meet the eeeeevil Jeanne Alter for the first time, and all sortsa servant fights break out! Also starring surprise guests filling in for Marie Antoinette and Amadeus!
One of the newly awoken dragons turned our way, pulling itself out of the rubble and into the air. It beat its wings unsteadily as it came over the square and just…. kept going? I turned to look, and all three of the dragons are getting the hell out of here.
April (Kris): Good call Romani, let’s get the hell out of here. Guys! We’re leaving!
Spartacus: And give up this chance? The oppressors are coming to us, Master!
April (Kris): They outnumber us, and we have no idea who they are! We need to go!
Spartacus: Come, oppressors! Come out and witness my love!
April (Kris): SPARTACUS I SWEAR TO GOD-
I was about to try and drag the moron along with us when we heard the beating of wings. Soon, five dragons were perched on the ruins of buildings, each one with their own rider. The one in the center, somebody dressed in black armor, spoke first.
???: So, you must be Chaldea. I, Jeanne d’Arc, welcome you to Hell!
April (Kris): <Uhhh...> C-Cool, you’re here already! Now come down here so we can kick your ass!
Jalter: Pffthahahaha! Are you serious? You’re not even worth the effort!
Jeanne Lily: You won’t get away with this!
Jalter: Hmm? Oh, it’s you. I was wondering where you ran off to, other me. I would have thought France would have killed you again by now. Is Chaldea really so desperate they have to recruit children to fight for them?
April: Hey, that’s not- I mean technically we are underaged…
Jalter: BWAHAHAHA! Oh, oh that’s too funny! This country was more than happy to kill me once, but now that I’m fighting back, suddenly they’ve all turned tail! The best they’ve got to defend them is a bunch of children that don’t even know how to count to ten! That’s almost funny enough to make letting you go for now worth it. Almost. Lancer, Assassin, take care of them. Devour them however you wish.
With that command, the furthest dragon on either side suddenly keeled over, falling from their perch. They were piles of ash before they even hit the ground, scattering to reveal two servants. On one side, a young woman with white hair, dressed in some weird sort of ballgown/lingerie mashup. The sleeves, collar, and skirt were ornate, but they were torn up the middle, replaced by a black corset, fishnets, and not much else. On the other, an older man wearing a black suit with fur trim. Both of them were unnaturally pale and gaunt.
April (Kris): Mash, Jeanne, be ready for anything.
Carmilla: You…. you are beautiful.
Mash: Huh? Um, oh, I…
April (Cat): This is no time to be a mashed tomato! Just because they have eyes doesn’t mean they aren’t the enemy!
Carmilla: You’re too beautiful… I won’t allow it! I won’t! Your blood… with it, I’ll be more beautiful!
Vlad: For what it’s worth, I will take your souls quickly, Last Master.
Vlad calmly strode towards us and Spartacus, while Carmilla prowled towards Mash. Jeanne stood in the middle, stock still, minus her shivering. The vampiress sprang but was met by Mash’s shield. Chains appeared from under Carmilla’s dress, clattering around the shield and scraping Mash as the vampire was repelled with a shove. Carmilla’s assault was relentless, mindless even. She threw herself at Mash over and over, circling around the younger girl, scoring glancing blows before being thrown off.
At the same time, Mash was having difficulty finding an opening to strike back. She couldn’t leave her master or Jeanne alone with the other enemy, so she couldn’t move around to find more advantageous territory. She was stuck, metaphorically. Then she found out she was stuck literally, as Carmilla heckled her:
Carmilla: You should pay more attention to your surroundings, fresh one.
Mash realized too late, the chains Carmilla had been attacking with were accumulating at her feet. With a cacophony of rattling and shrieks of metal on metal they pulled taut, painfully locking Mash’s feet where she stood. And then-
Carmilla: Blood… blood… oh, blood! Eternal beauty, an endless banquet… The ugliness of old age shall be cast away until the end of time!
Carmilla: Phantom Maiden!
A large statue topped by the bust of a woman appeared behind Mash. It opened up revealing a hollow space just large enough for a human being, or it would be if not for the dozens of massive metal spikes lining the inside walls. The statue lurched forward, encasing Mash and slamming its doors. Spikes punctured Mash’s shoulders and dented her armor, but her shield wedged in the door just barely kept the statue from swallowing her whole.
Meanwhile, we were having our own problems. Spartacus was facing off against the other vampire, but he wasn’t having much success. They were equally strong, but Spartacus just wasn’t fast enough to land a decent hit on the guy, either getting blocked or cleaving a building in two when he missed completely.
Vlad: This feels… familiar. Have I killed you before?
Spartacus: Raargh! This time, oppressor! This time I will crush you! You’ve run out of lackeys to aid your tyranny!
Vlad: What a pity…
Every once in a while, the vampire’d back up enough to throw out a spell. The cobblestones and timbers would twist into spears, embedding themselves in Spartacus’ body before getting snapped in two by Spartacus’ relentless charge. Mostly. He also took the occasional potshot at us, but a spear’s a spear. We barely kept out of the way, each attack inches away from turning us into a shish kebab.
Cris: <We can’t keep doing this. Who knows how long he’s gonna hold out?>
Kat: <I gotta idea! Let Jeanne up!>
Kat had a point. It had looked like the spears were popping up out of nowhere, but it took time for the magical energy to build up, telegraphing the attacks. Now I had a chance to slow down and think.
Even so, we still had little time to waste. Spartacus was finally starting to slow down, breaking the lancer’s spears slower than he was making new ones. Eventually, his charge ground to a halt.
Jeanne: <Cris, yell at him.>
Cris: <What??>
Jeanne: <You are very good at being loud and distracting, we need to get him away from Spartacus. Yell. at. him.>
April (Cris): O-oi, Dracula! You’re a bit early for a Hot Topic run, aren’t ya?
There was no time to react. Suddenly, we were surrounded by stone spears, each one prodding a different part of our body. If we breathed in too deeply, we’d turn into a pincushion. Just as quickly, the Lancer was standing directly in front of us.
Vlad: You know, when I was forced into this origin, I thought being turned into a killing machine would be hellish. It’s good to know that humanity is still willing to make me enjoy ending their lives.
Our body was growing colder. Had a spear already pierced us, and we didn’t know it? Oh God, are we dying? I- wait, we’re getting way too cold now, what's…
Jeanne Lily finally stopped shaking and turned to face her friend. She took a step forward and raised her spear like a flagpole.
Jeanne Lily: I won’t allow this! O Holy Night, a momentary and unstoppable lovely miracle! La Grace Fille Noel!
Suddenly, a burst of cold air spread out from Jeanne, swirling around the battlefield. The temperature dropped lower and lower, until I felt tiny points of cold started to fall on us.
April (Cat): It’s snowing!
The enemy servants sizzled and retreated at the assault of flurries. Were they really taking damage from this?
Jeanne: <Snowflakes… made of holy water?>
The spears surrounding us fell to pieces as the snow picked up. At the same time, the iron maiden holding Mash rusted away to nothingness, bits and pieces clattering to the ground. As soon as Spartacus could move, he rushed to engage the enemy again, but I hurried over to Mash’s side.
April (Jeanne): Mash!
Her spirit origin was already being repaired by whatever magic Jeanne Lily just unleashed, but I helped her to her feet anyway.
Jeanne Alter: Congratulations, other me. Your little stunt just bought you an extra six seconds of life.
Jeanne Lily: Why are you doing this, you meanie?
Jeanne Alter: Heh. Hehehehe… hahahahaha! HAHAHA! Name calling, really? You think I am the mean one here?
Jeanne Alter: What about France, to whom we gave everything. Our youth, our blood, our life? The France who gave us nothing in return but ridicule and death? Or God? We spent our life obeying His word, but our only reward was hellfire!
Jeanne Alter: If this is so wrong, than why… I have not heard God utter a single word in France’s defense. Have you?
Jeanne Lily: I…
Both of their spirit origins were growing increasingly unstable. Lily’s had almost lost its form entirely, and Alter’s was rapidly oscillating. Every time it started to waver, something in it forced it back into shape. It writhed like a grotesque mockery of a heart. Slowly, Jeanne Alter composed herself.
Jeanne Alter: If the Lord decrees it, it is so: There is no hope for this land. I will burn away the corrupt humanity, no matter how long it takes. I know you don’t understand, child. No, it’s that you could not bring yourself to try.
Jeanne Alter: Ugh, no matter. If the vampires are unable to deal with you, the others will have to suffice. Rider! Saber! End this!
Roman: Oh no, this is bad! Two servants coming in from the front, and two more closing in fast from behind!
Mash: Not now, Doctor, or else I’m going to panic too!
Roman: R-right, n-nothing to worry about. Don’t mind me, just going to check something real quick.
Roman: magi…mari..dot com… “We’re being… attacked… by four servants… What… should we do?” Aaand send!
Mash: Do you really think an idol blog can help right now?
Roman: You never know! Oh, a response! “I guess you’ll just have to die and be reborn! ⭐” The internet is so harsh!
April (Jeanne): Mash, do you think we can break through?
Mash: Maybe? Can Jeanne move this snowstorm with us?
Jeanne Lily: I-I don’t know!
The rider servant hit the ground hard, cracking the cobblestone around them. They were already back on their feet and closing in on us in seconds- Mash barely had time to get her shield up before a fist slammed into it with a deafening clang. Unlike the previous servants, Jeanne’s snow did nothing to slow them down- if anything, they were absorbing its energy just as easily as Mash was.
On the other side, the saber gently floated to the ground and calmly made their way to Jeanne Lily. They pulled out their rapier, and in one swift thrust-
A wyvern’s cry rang out through the city, and Jalter’s surviving mounts fidgeted from their roofs. The two enemy servants also reeled back in pain.
???: YAHOOO! The cavalry has arrived!
???: P-please slow down-Aah!
Two new servants, a rider and a caster, crash-landed their Griffin! That’s a griffin! It went BOOOM right between Lily and the saber, and they both had to leap out of the way to avoid getting hit!
???: Howdy everyone! Those afar, hear my voice! Those near, gaze in awe! I’m Astolfo, one of the twelve paladins of Charlemagne! And this is Sieg!
Astolfo hopped off the griffin while Sieg slid off its back and tumbled to the ground.
Jeanne Alter: And what exactly do an Englishman and a… what are you?
Sieg: Um, I’m Romanian, technically…
Jeanne Alter: Whatever. What are two foreigners doing sticking their noses in a French battle?
Astolfo: I might be English, but I’m a paladin of Charlemagne! I’m not going to let you burn down the place while he’s gone!
Sieg: The maid of Orleans… is dear to me. I won’t let anyone dirty her name, not even you!
The scrawny caster guy pulled out a sword and pointed it at Jeanne Alter, delivering an ultimatum.
Jeanne Alter: Bold. Pointless, but bold. Saber. Rider. Your orders are the same. Destroy them all.
Astolfo: You there, holy lady! I’ll be your opponent today! Master, can you take care of the knight?
Sieg: I keep telling you, I’m not your master! I’ll do what I can, though…
The two of them split up to protect us. On our left, Astolfo faced off against the mystery rider!
Astolfo: Hey, what’s your name anyway? C’mon, I already said mine, it’s only fair!
Berserk Rider: My name no longer matters. All I seek now is death, and worthy opponents.
Astolfo. Huh, that’s pretty sad. Don’t worry though, you found both!
Astolfo charged forward with his lance, boots kicking up snow. He got knocked off course by the rider’s staff, sending him careening into the nearby ruins with a crash. He burst through the other side and looped back around, going to whack the rider with an overhead attack. She caught it at the last second, the clatter of their weapons blowing the snow all over.
The rider was better at close range fighting, but Astolfo’s weapon was so big it made an effective shield. He kept getting pushed back, but neither of them were getting anywhere.
Suddenly, Astolfo went on the offensive! Instead of blocking, he took a solid WHACK on his shoulder, and got a glancing hit in with his lance. The rider’s leg lit up with golden light, and then there was nothing there! She fell back on her butt as Astolfo moved in to attack.
Astolfo: How do you like that? My Trap d’Argalia is one of my noble phantasms! With but a touch, it can return you to your spiritual form! Well, part of you anyway.
The other rider was trying to block now, but her staff wasn’t nearly as good for defense. Astolfo got some solid hits in, sending her bouncing all over the place and crashing through homes before they locked weapons again.
Astolfo: Come on, you can’t seriously like being like this, right?
Berserk Rider: It doesn’t matter what I like. I have no say in this.
Astolfo: There’s always a choice! HAAAH!
As the two riders traded barbs and blows, Sieg and the enemy Saber were having their own duel. I know we’re supposed to be rooting for Sieg, but that little blonde guy was just sooo much faster, and they knew what they were doing! Their swords clashed together, and with a flick of the wrist Sieg’s went flying.
Berserk Saber: It’s over, Caster. Any last words.
Sieg: No… it’s not. Not yet!
Berserk Saber: Please spare the theatrics. If I wasn’t trying my hardest to make this dignified for you, I’d have already skewered you by now.
The saber lunged forward, but suddenly, something started to glow in Sieg’s chest! Whatever it was it spooked all the dragons really bad. They all started flappin’ and screamin’, and the mean Jeanne nearly fell off hers!
Jeanne Alter: Ugh, fucking… fine! You know what? This isn’t worth the headache. Saber, Rider! Go find the others and fall back. We’re regrouping for now.
The enemy servants hopped back onto their dragons and flew off! Sieg calmed down, and the glowing stopped.
April (Cat): Woo! You guys are awesome!
Astolfo: Gee, thanks! It’s fun to play the cavalry now and again! Hey, you guys are trying to save France too, right? Let’s team up!
April (Cat): That would be great! We needed more servants, right?
Jeanne: <Cat, we just->
Mash: That sounds like a great idea. We could even set up a temporary contract, if you’d like.
April (Kris): Wait… where’d Spartacus go? He was here a second ago.
Romani: If I can cut in, we just lost his energy reading a moment ago. I think he’s still chasing after the enemy.
Mash: Should we go after him?
April (Kris): You know what? Fuck it! We’re all half dead or a little bit stabbed. If he wants to go on a suicide mission alone that’s his problem. We are going in the exact opposite direction so that we do not die.
Jeanne: <Kris, that is… hmmm. I mean, you are not wrong, but…>
Romani: I have to agree with April on this one. At the very least we need a chance to regroup, and possibly summon more servants before facing the enemy again. Fortunately, there’s a leyline not far from your location. I’ll send you the coordinates now.
#fgo#fate grand order#Spartacus#Mash Kyrielight#Jeanne d'Arc Alter#Jeanne d'Arc alter lily#fanfiction#Astolfo#Sieg
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Quick! FMK! Original Organization 13--but you can't pick Saix, Roxas, or Xion for any of them!
Id rather not sleep with any of them but if I had to id diddle Marluxia cause he looks like he knows how to treat a man~
Id marry Ienzo cause he's closer to my age and he's a heck of a cook when hes not experimenting~
And kill Vexen PFFTHAHAHAHA
#kh#kingdom hearts#kh3#axel#ienzo#marluxia#vexen#even#zexion#kh zexion#kh even#kh ienzo#kh axel#kh marluxia#lauriam#khux#this was funnier in my head
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"Professor Dream"
1. This really starts with Dream getting dragged into Calliope's classes to do poetry readings. It is next to impossible to say no to her these days and she knows it. Obviously, the incentive here is that he is, of course, inspired by thoughts of Hob especially when it's love poetry. Inevitably, everyone walks out of that room with a severe case of kilig meltdown afterwards.
2. Hob forgives him, of course, when it's Shakespeare. Also the Sonnet 29 Incident is still fresh in everyone's minds so it's not like Hob has a lot of ground to stand on right now. "Sodding Sonnet 29 gets me every sodding time."
3. Lucienne already knows to prepare for the inevitable arrival of flowers. The one who is happiest about this is Nuala, the newest addition to the Castle Staff, because as a member of the Fair Folk, she does love her blooms. She shares them with Snottor.
4. The Pinoy students are ENTIRELY responsible for coining the phrase "Kilig Apocalypse" and having this spread all over campus. The reason? Calliope convinced Dream AND Hob Gadling to do a reading from one of Kit Marlowe's plays. Who knew Professor G had such mad acting skills? "I was inspired by the greatest of all Muses," was the very wry response to that, with a pointed glance at Calliope who just laughed at them both.
5. Hob, of course, is always the gentleman and made sure she got flowers and a lovely tin of chocolate fudge cookies the following day. All of his students knew better than to ask about the nice tartan scarf that he kept on even while he was in the classroom. They all loved him, to be honest, and really didn't want to disrupt his obvious good mood. He was also pretty cute to look at, what with the near permanent blush.
6. So, of course, all of these shenanigans get around to the head of the Literature Department, who asks Calliope to bring Dream around for a meeting.
"Why am I not surprised to find you heading the Literature Department in this university?" was Dream's first wry reaction upon meeting her.
"Well met, my Lord Morpheus," purred the lady who was currently known in this century as Mary Godwin. "Since our dear Lady Calliope has spoken so glowingly about your good influence upon our students, we'd like to present a proposal to you."
"Present your case then."
Dream knows he doesn't really stand a chance here but he's going to have some fun with this before he gracefully gives in to the inevitable.
7. Look, we all know that Dream has a very soft spot indeed for storytellers and he isn't Prince of Stories for nothing. He's very fond of this storyteller in particular, especially since she'd been in and out of the Dreaming all her life. So this is how he gets convinced to hold a limited series of classes for the university's grad students about the power of stories and myths. Which is promptly overbooked.
8. The name Dream uses to conduct these classes is "Thomas Murphy" to avoid any confusion. What confusion? Well, because his paperwork actually reads: Thomas Morpheus Gadling.
#the sandman#dream of the endless#dreamling#hob gadling#calliope#professor dream#i crack what i want#shh nobody tell neil#pffthahahaha#i kennat
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You know, I’ve heard about schadenfreude, seen people talk about it, but I had never really felt it. But this? Oh, I get it now, this is fucking great.
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Yan wearing a skirt because "IT'S EASIER FOR SENPAI TO REACH MY GOODS"
Pffthahahaha omg I'm loving Yan more and more. Him going commando under the skirt for the same reason.
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"i-i'd tell you a joke about a feline causing chaos...b-but it would end in CAT-TASTROPE!" The cat said, trying to make a clever joke, but still being shy at the same time.
“PFFTHAHAHAHA!”
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the delirium was fun
written while getting progressively drunk with @littledonkeyburrito
1) How many bank accounts do you have?
3.
2) Have you ever been in an ambulance?
Only once, I was in a car crash and was unharmed, but I still had to sit in one while I answered some questions for the paramedics.
3) Do you remember your first time on the internet?
No, but I do remember that when we first got internet, I spent all my computer time going to lego.com :D
4) Have you ever had the flu?
I had the flu this year and it sucked so much arse. Ash ended up taking me to the hospital at like 1am. The delirium was fun. :D
5) Would you ever consider going on a cruise?
Yeah, I have considered it before.
6) Do you ever drink alcohol?
well there was this one time that was now
7) Have you ever had a terrible hangover?
Actually, I have had maybe one or two hangovers in my entire life. I don’t get ‘em often.
8) How old were your parents when they had you?
I think they were in their mid-20s? I have no idea how old my parents are lmao
9) Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like?
Actually my partner is exactly ten years older than me. And the person I lost my virginity to is fifteen years older.
10) Do you try to spend a lot of time with family?
Pffthahahaha, no. My bio family and I aren’t on great terms. But that said, I’ve slowly built up a little fambly of my own, and I try to spend as much time with them as possible.
11) What would you say is your favorite genre of music?
Electronica, metal, chiptune, and orchestral/soundtrack.
12) Are you good at giving advice to people?
I have been told by some that I am good at the advice thing, just once or twice.
13) What is your goal for the next few months?
To move house in April, and also to save up for my Sydney trip in May~
14) Do you think you have a good sense of style?
On paper, I have a great sense of style. In reality I just can’t afford to look like how I want to XD
15) What is your star sign/zodiac sign/whatever?
Aquarius.
16) Does your personality match the characteristics of your sign?
I am actually a scarily accurate match to my sign. I don’t even believe in zodiac stuff, I just match it really closely.
17) Would you rather be on a nude beach or at a concert?
I would definitely rather be at a concert. Public nudity could be a death sentence for me lmao
18) Have you ever been caught passing notes in class?
No, I didn’t have any friends to pass notes to, BUT this does remind me of an interesting story about class subterfuge! Once in year 12 English, I was wearing my spray jacket, and had run an earbud up under it, past my neck, to my ear. I sat next to a wall so nobody could see. However, the guy sitting behind me saw it in my ear, and he was a massive dickhead, so he tried to dob me in to the teacher.
Just in time, I flicked the earbud out of my ear and dropped it into my collar, out of sight. The English teacher (who loved me and did not like the idiot behind me) asked if this was true, and I turned my head to show that there was nothing in my ear. He insisted that he saw something, and I said maybe he saw a fly or something. He started yelling about it and the teacher sent him out of the classroom. I got away with it, nobody ever suspected me.
A little unjust, perhaps, but he was an asshole who constantly disrupted class and I don’t regret anything.
19) What is your New Year’s resolution?
My New Year’s resolution is always the same: to be the kind of person my younger self would be both intimidated and a little bit turned on by.
20) Do you know anyone who suffers from depression?
Do I know anyone who doesn’t?
21) Would you rather be 13 years old or 30 years old?
30. It’s closer to death, that’s an obvious benefit.
22) Here’s a personal one. How many times do you pee a day?
I don’t keep track, you perv
23) Have you ever had your significant other fall asleep on you?
Actually, Ash almost never falls asleep on me. But it’s so nice when they do.
24) Name me a random word that starts with ‘O’.
Opulence.
25) Which berry is your favorite?
Watermelons and avocados.
26) Have you ever tried to learn a foreign language?
Yus! Japanese and French so far.
Maddie’s trying to pressure me into learning Spanish too lmao
27) Which baby animal is your favorite?
Literally any of them tbh :D Whether they’re in my lap or on my plate, I don’t mind.
28) What was the scent of the last candle you burned?
The last candle I burned was a scent-neutralising deodorant candle, because I had gastro and couldn’t stop farting :D
29) Are there any plants in your home?
I have two beautiful moon cacti named Snuggles and Smooches.
30) If you could have a small garden in your backyard, what would you plant?
WEED
Vegetables! I miss having homegrown food, hopefully I’ll be able to grow some at my new place ;w;
31) What pets have you had while growing up?
My family has had few dogs and a few cats and even a bird, but the only pet that was actually mine was a big ginger tom. Such a beautiful kitty. I named him Sovereign because he thought he was the king of everything.
32) What type of museum would you like to go to?
I like lots of different types of museums! Natural history, science, art, you name it.
33) Have you ever been to the circus?
Literally never. Though I kinda hate the concept of circuses. So much potential for animal abuse.
34) What are some of your favourite scents?
The ones that add up to dollars! :D
Forreal tho, I love the smell of my Lush vanilla body wash.
35) What branch of science interests you the most?
Oooh where do I START. I love chemistry a lot, and that filters down to biology and psychology. But I also fucking love physics, and would even be good at it if I was any good at math.
36) Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet
You can walk into any closet if you try hard enough.
37) Can you play electric guitar?
A little! I have more experience with acoustic but electric is more fun.
38) When was the last time you drank something through a straw?
About six hours ago.
39) Are you a fan of industrial metal?
What, like mild steel?
(lol jk i do)
40) Can you handle the cold?
I desire the cold more than anything. Or at least the Australian version of cold, which is really just “slightly below boiling”.
41) Have you ever been to Canada?
Not yet!
42) How old is the person you last kissed?
35~
43) Have you ever tried to balance the light switch between off and on?
Everyone has been ten years old, so yes~
44) Are your feet touching the floor?
Nope. My desk has a bar running underneath it and my feet are propped up on that.
45) Are you one of those people who keep their feelings bottled up?
Literally never. I am not just emotional, but I also prompt other people to release theirs.
46) Is one of your friends extremely odd but you love them regardless?
Who wants to be friends with NON-odd people? Odd is interesting. Normal is boring.
47) Do you have any piercings besides your earlobes?
13, but I’ve had 22 total.
48) How many push-ups can you do?
*shrugs* idk, i used to be able to do heaps bc it was part of my roller derby trailing but now I’m so unfit
49) When was the last time you wore a button up shirt?
Literally today~
50) Do you own any striped sweaters?
Alas, I do not D:
51) Write the first person you think of whose name begins with T?
Tanya Dobson, a dear friend of mine.
52) When was the last time you got a haircut?
Just about a couple of weeks ago! Not a proper haircut, just getting my undercut reshaved.
53) How old were you when you had your first crush?
I don’t remember how old I was -- probably preteen -- but it was Lt. Helga Sinclair from Atlantis: The Lost Empire.
#tumblr games#other potential titles:#public nudity could be a death sentence#death that's an obvious benefit#you can walk into any closet if you try hard enough#everyone has been ten years old
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Pffthahahaha xD The answers under his first tweet are hilarious lmao RIP Lod dude
#lod#dig lod#nalcs#tweet#pillow#kappapride#i said his support is the best pillow#lol#yes i ship lod with xpecial#and i don't regret it
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