Weekly Reading Update (06/12/23)

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White (9/10)

This book was amazing. There are very few bad things I could say about it, and most of those are personal preference. Now, it isn't for everyone, as it's basically gothic horror to the extreme with some very sensitive topics. However, as long as you can stomach this sort of thing, I highly recommend this book. It's dark, tense, and not without some hope. My one technical gripe is how perfect Daphne seems, but that can be easily brushed past. I really liked the writing, especially with how the author played with the style and actual look of it.

The Raven King by Nora Sakavic (8/10)

There truly must be something wrong with me to willingly continue the All for the Game series. I am being so deadly serious when I say these books are horrendously written. It's based on a sport that's basically fancy lacrosse that is given the bare minimum explanation, the pacing is all over the place, and the plot is poorly connected if not outright nonsensical. And yet here I am. I think this series, thanks to strangely evocative characters and its absurdist plotlines, evokes the same feelings as fanfiction. As an actual published novel, this is a garbage fire. As something fun and quick to read, it hits every button. The absolute misery Neil goes through only to be put back together by his team and his not-boyfriend just works. I immensely enjoyed myself, but also 0/10 never read these books.

The King's Men by Nora Sakavic (7/10)

This book being the longest of the series makes sense, but I still don't think it was enough. Everything I said about The Raven King applies to this book, and I'm incredibly feral about Neil and Andrew. However, the ending is rushed to the extreme. The resolution is pretty unsatisfying, and I feel like there's still a lot of character stuff to be sorted out, particularly concerning Andrew. The ending was just way too abrupt, and I wish the epilogue had been a proper chapter with a different epilogue set in the weeks/months after the finals. Well, that's what fanfiction is for, and it will probably be better written than these books.

Lioness Rampant by Tamora Pierce (9/10)

This concludes my reread of Song of the Lioness! I'll be continuing with The Immortals Quartet soon, but for now, I really like the ending to this series. This is likely the saddest book in the series with two major deaths, and no, Liam is not included in that, good riddance. Honestly, my retching whenever he started talking is what brought this down from a 10 for me. Alanna has grown so much since the beginning of the series, coming to a place where she can accept love and femininity without letting it affect her own goals. One thing I really like is how close she, Jon, and George are despite their complicated romantic pasts with each other. The fact that their friendship takes precedence over anything else means so much to me.

Fire and Ice by Erin Hunter (CR, 53%)

I've been working very slowly through these books since I'm doing a project with them on the side, but they're pretty good. I will say that I'm not a huge fan of this one in the context of the series. Both Fireheart and Graystripe consistently make pretty bad decisions all throughout which just makes more and more problems. I will say that I love Fireheart's relationship with the apprentices, Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw. Their mentor/mentee but still playful dynamic is great, and it's admirable how Fireheart steps up for Brackenpaw in Graystripes, ahem, absence.

Exile by Shannon Messenger (CR, 1%)

I've barely started this one, but I'm excited!

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (CR, 5%)

I'm a weak, weak woman. It's been around three years since I read Folk of the Air, and I miss it so much. I have a very unhealthy attachment to Jude, which means Cardan and I have something in common. I'm just rereading a lot of stuff right now, and I feel like reading something I know I'll love will help me catch up on my reading goal (I'm eight books behind).

Yakuza 5 Review: Life Could Be a Dream

i'm just copying the intro from the last one AGAIN HA Hey, it's Pee again! So there's this site called Backloggd that's basically just letterboxd for video games and I've been writing a bunch of reviews there, with a bunch of longer ones for RGG games because of course so. I've got one currently cooking for 0 and in the meanwhile, I've decided to put them up here too, for archiving or whatever. I also get to put silly captions on them now. So with that out of the way, here's what's probably gonna stay the longest review, Yakuza 5.

Also might as well plug my backloggd in here if you wanna see the rest of the stuff I've done hehehehehe

This review contains minor spoilers.

Reviewed on Aug 06, 2023

Completed on PC

Rating: 10/10 (5 Stars)

Yakuza 5's just a dream come true, in so many ways. This many protagonists, this many stories and content, and yet all of them just work out to create one of, in my opinion, the best titles in the series. Look, this is... a long game, to say the least. The Yakuza games usually take awhile to beat, even keeping side content to a minimum, but Y5 is just something else. And yet it never feels like it drags on. Yakuza 5 earns that long run time, and it kept me entertained the whole time. The main gameplay in the combat is just glorious. I liked Yakuza 3 and 4's combat, but going from there to 5 was definitely something. With 4 (technically 5 hehe) different fighting styles, Yakuza 5's combat just feels fantastic to play through no matter who you're playing as.

Kiryu's arguably the best he's ever felt in this game, with amazing crowd control, a great variety of heat actions, and bounding throws galore. He's at a very "angry old guy who absolutely does not want to deal with this anymore" point in 5, and that reflects pretty well in his gameplay. Take a look at Essence of Face Grating. Kiryu's just pissed off 24/7, and that makes for some kickass fights. Saejima's basically a step above in every way compared to his gameplay in 4. They patched up some of his big flaws, and elevated just about everything that already worked. The Tiger Dragon Drop is just utterly busted even by counter standards and feels amazing. His charged attacks somehow feel even more satisfying to connect, as do his heat actions. I'd like to highlight Essence of Clotheslining for that. Thanks to the MASSIVLY buffed Herculean Spirit, Saejima in 5 embodies both the unstoppable force and the immovable object roles perfectly. There's also the neat bonus of being able to rip poles out of the ground to end street fights the second they begin. Akiyama... actually feels worse than he did in 4. Still fun, just not quite the same guy who had the coolest moveset in the last game. Wall-bounding's gone, but then in comes his aerial shenanigans. It's pretty cool that this ended up being the precursor for Yagami's juggling in LJ. While it does suck that it's basically unusable against his main boss(es), there is still a lot of fun to be had hanging out in the air while kicking down a group of poor street goons. Akiyama's base kit, even with some of his fancy tech taken away from him, is still just really fun to play with. Speed's the name of the game, and Akiyama's the star. I like Shinada's combat. I like it quite a lot, actually. He's rougher and unrefined compared to everyone else, but he still knows how to dish out the damage. As someone who loves grappling in this game, finding out just about everything in Shinada's kit can link into a grab just made me fall in love with him the second I picked him up. His quickstep attack's a grab, his rush combos can link into grabs, his finishers give way to bounding throws, and so on. Even against bosses, who can break free of them pretty easily, Shinada's kit is still pretty damn solid. And where he lacks in crowd control, comes all his unique tricks with weapons. The sturdy pipe you get from the start alone does so many things for Shinada, between heat actions, crowd control, and knocking people down. I understand that's just not for everyone, but Shinada's kit just clicked with me really well. It also helps that his battle theme is my favorite.

Hey, speaking of battle themes, the soundtrack! The RGG game has a great soundtrack, blah blah blah, I'm sure you're used to this by now. But still, I just feel the need to highlight it. I really like the direction they went with the music here. Yakuza 5's soundtrack centers mostly around hard rock, even compared to the rest of the series. And man, it just delivers with every track. It just might be one of my favorites, and again, that's REALLY saying something considering how amazing the composers at RGG are. The street battle themes are just banger after banger. Isolated Fight delivers on the aforementioned "old man kiryu sick of everything" front, and is just a pretty underrated track in general. Hailstorm fits both Saejima and his city perfectly with some amazing riffs thrown in. Affected Fight 1:17. FUNKASTIC HIT sounds like a baseball stadium organ theme and then hits you with a sick ass guitar solo. I accidentally wrote a 24 line segment (spoilers if you click that!) about (almost) all the battle tracks, so I'm just gonna spare you, scrap it here, and tell you that Yakuza 5's soundtrack does NOT miss. Everything, from the boss themes, long battle tracks, side content shenanigans, they're all just amazing. And there's thanks to Haruka's chapter, there's not just some amazing heavy rock tracks, but we basically get a whole CD's worth of J-pop tracks. All 3 of the Princess League songs were amazing and I love them. There's also all the dance battle ones, with a nice little variety to the sounds. I'd also like to shoutout some of the calmer bar tracks like Highway and Silky Night. Adds a lot to the game's atmosphere and are honestly just really nice sounding songs. So, to sum this section up, just about every song in Yakuza 5 can be put into a workout playlist, and it's super duper awesome and cool and radical. The soundtrack's always a highlight for RGG games, but Yakuza 5's is just phenomenal.

The story's usually criticized for having a pretty messy plot. And while I can sort of agree to an extent, there's one thing I think Yakuza 5's story just does phenomenally, and that's the character work. The protagonists are all written fantastically, and a decent amount of the supporting cast are too. Kiryu's characterization in 5 is worth highlighting on it's own: a broken man, still fighting on ever-determined for his family. And they never forget the legend of the Dragon of Dojima, either, especially during the later segments of the game. You really feel for his struggle, and really want to cheer him on as he fights through them. Saejima's pretty well done too, but what I like most about him in this game is how he bounces off everyone else. With Kiryu, with his prison buddies, and especially with Baba. He's actually a lot calmer and pretty chill for the most part which I appreciate, but when he's poked, you'd better prepare yourself for the tiger to roar louder than ever. Haruka's just a great encapsulation of the game's central theme of dreams, and it's nice to see things from her view for a change. Her relationship with Park and the other members at Dyna Chair was pretty sweet. Her chapter's also a nice breath of fresh air, with you not getting jumped all the time. Akiyama admittedly feels sidelined a little, but he's still a fan favorite character for a reason. I love how he and Haruka work together, and it's nice seeing them bond considering the circumstance. RIP Hana though, I can't believe they made her a desk And Shinada. Tatsuo Shinada. Everyone's favorite broke baseball loving goober. I don't trust you as a human being if you don't like Shinada. I'm sorry. Shinada's chapters are honestly some of RGG's best writing. I love his fall from grace and the people he meets down there. I love his relationship with everyone in the town. ESPECIALLY Takasugi. I love how determined he always is. In spite of everything that's happened to kick him down, he always gets back up. As funny as a character Shinada is, he also got some of the most somber moments. There's just so much unapologetic joy from Shinada, and I adored every last second of it. His role in the finale made me tear up a lot, and I honestly don't mind that he hasn't come back yet. As much as it would rock, Shinada's story is finished in my eyes, and they wrapped it up perfectly. Lastly, I'd just like to highlight some of the supporting cast. Katsuya and Watase are honestly just really cool characters. Watase in particular just stole the scene every time he showed up, he really embodied the Omi energy well. As I said before, Takasugi is a perfect character who really complimented Shinada's character well. He goes from shady, untrustworthy douche to reliable and lovable partner pretty fast, and I'm amazed RGG managed to pull that off so well. Nakajima's like, a side-side character, but I'd kill to have a great boss like him. He really sold me on Kiryu's taxi stuff. And lastly my personal favorite supporting character, Baba. I believe he's one of the best in the game. RGG characterized him really well here. His relationship with Saejima was really well done, and everything surrounding him near the end was masterfully done for me. He just feels so human, so vulnerable, and I appreciate that about him. Overall, the story's kind of a mixed bag plot-wise, but, in my opinion, more than makes up for it with some amazing character moments and just characters in general.

Let's move on to the side content. RGG games are no stranger to having lots of it, but the lengths 5 goes through is honestly kind of insane. I can't imagine the completionists were all too thrilled when they got to this entry in particular... You have the mainstays like mahjong and karaoke, but there's also a decent chunk unique to this game, like the noodles minigame, winter combat, the comedy team, and some more. Then there's all the side stories. Fleshed-out minigames for each character to dive in, complete with progression systems and stories. There's taxi driving, taxi RACING, the hunting minigame, Haruka's jobs, and Shinada's unique take on the batting center. There's just so much to do. Like come on, they have TAIKO in this game. That's awesome. You could probably repackage Y5 into a minigame collection and it'd be worth it by itself. There's just so much to do here. As for the substories, they're... alright. I do like them, but there's not really a lot that stand out to me. I do really like some of the more protag-based sweet substories like A Second Haruka or The Letters, though. There's also Shinada's interview which gave us the glorious line "I like to get my balls rubbed at massage parlors. Aww yeah!".

Yakuza 5's a BIG game, in capital letters. And almost everything about it just clicks with me. The music, the characters, the combat, the gameplay, it all just clicks. I understand that not every RGG fan's gonna click with this game as much as I did, and that's fine. But dammit, this game just amazes me with how happy it made me the entire time. A great embodiment of the series thus far, and it's seriously a contender as one of the best for me, in a series FULL of fantastic games.

10/10. This makes the second RGG game that I played the finale during midnight and bawled my eyes out for. I aspire to be a man like Tatsuo Shinada. Thanks for reading me ramble about this long ass game.

Okay, first of all I'm Normal about FF13 because I got that closure I was talking about.

Secondly, chapter 7 (of 13) is the best chapter of the game so far.

At this point I'm about 14 hours into the game. If I hadn't played it during a more patient and less hectic part of my life, I would have given up by now. But now I'm here on a replay, it's pretty good - the Paradigm system is finally showing its full depth, the chapter does a lot of heavy-lifting regarding characterisation and it's the longest and most action-packed chapter yet.

I'd love to see a documentary on how the game was made one day, because the series was kind of a trainwreck for the entire seventh generation. The Fabula Nova Crystallis series was meant to be a ten year project, but 13 had so many issues and caused such a violent schism within the fanbase that they ended up just turning it into a trilogy to try and patch things up. A lot of what the world initially saw of 13 wasn't set in stone, but once footage came out, they couldn't really change what was shown. It sounds like a creative nightmare.

Versus XIII didn't just become FF15, it was wrested from Tetsuya Nomura's control and completly divorced from the project. Type-0 had its own issues, like middling reviews, being released on outdated hardware and initially having no international localisation - the first two probably contributed towards the latter, though it ended up getting a global PS4 port. And completely unrelated to Fabula Nova Crystallis, but XIV was - once again - so poorly received that the only thing that saved it was a crazy ploy from a new producer to nuke the game from orbit and rebuild it from scratch. Square Enix was kind of a dumpster fire during the seventh generation of consoles, it's insane.

You can kind of feel the ambition of the seventh generation of consoles on 13's shoulders, as well as the awkward struggle of a big, shiny and new dev team working with new tools in a media landscape where games cost as much to create - and generated enough revenue - as a high-end Hollywood movie. Moreso than saying that I love FF13 (because while I'm a defender, it's not even my favourite game in its own trilogy of Final Fantasy games), I do want to say that for all its quirks, it's a very interesting game and I have a lot of esteem for it, warts and all.

thoughts on ace attorney: dual destinies

wow, surprisingly it’s only been two months and we’ve already blazed through another game (faster than last time!!). i went into this one expecting the worst, but it turned out very differently. more about that under the cut: 

-everybody said this game was going to be bad. like....really really bad, but nearly everything that i’ve seen criticized exceeded my expectations, for once. i was super impressed with this game, i think it’s easily one of my top favorites now

-the graphics are one of the aforementioned criticisms, and honestly....it’s not so bad?? like at all? like, i’m a sucker for the classic pixel sprites, and i’ll stick by my preference for them, but regardless? the 3d models are nice. i like that they’re stylized to look like fully-rendered drawings, with the shading already painted on and cartoon lines. plus, the animations are so expressive!

-i really miss being able to investigate every area!! i suppose it would have been a bit excessive to have to make every single room rotatable, but part of the charm of ace attorney games is getting to point and click EVERYTHING you can find

-the music was alright. some of it was charming, some was just okay. i think aura’s theme was my favorite, though

-this game had a significant amount of filler, but overall felt both necessary for establishing characters, relationships and setting up the main storyline. the fillers were extremely fun--my favorite was turnabout academy but every case had a cast of lovable characters you just get attached to

-story progression-wise......even though there was setup in the fillers, it basically did what aai did in terms of every other case being a flashback and leading up to the present case (which were the first and last two cases). i’m personally not a fan of setting up the story this way, i kind of wish we could have more linear cases with a few flashbacks but it’s not a huge problem. just me being picky

-I MISS YOU, BOBBY FULBRIGHT. I’LL NEVER FORGET YOU YOU FUNKY LITTLE DETECTIVE

-smiles mcgoo

-capcom spoiled us so much with lesbians in this game, like it wasn’t even subtle: juniper and athena, juniper and robin, trucy and jinxie, aura and metis......sasha too

-but speaking of things that aren’t subtle, another thing i love about this game is that it’s more obvious/up front about mental illness and neurodivergency! athena’s (at least, in my eyes) very meant-to-be autism symptoms aren’t addressed by any particular name, but we have schizophrenia and anxiety addressed by name here, as well as acknowledging the character’s deep traumas. it’s really, really great. we got a little taste of this sort of thing back in the first two aa games, but they weren’t afraid to say things here, and i’m glad for it

-i am seriously tired of the trucy’s panties joke, also can we please just ditch this gag??? i’m begging you it’s not funny or appropriate

-i’m also upset that trucy wasn’t given more lawyering time in this game!! like, it makes sense story-wise, since the entire reason she couldn’t always be present/shut down and had flashbacks mid-trial was because of her trauma and fear of courtrooms as a result, but......it’s sad that in a game mainly about her we still have to have phoenix take the spotlight. i like you a lot phoenix but like, we can have someone else be the star now

-aura and metis’s story broke my heart....not just because i’m a lesbian, but hearing how much aura cried over her death made me feel something in the pits of my heart and. ow

-i wish clay’s history with apollo, or just his story was fleshed out just a little bit more. i have nothing against the character, but compared to metis’s death, and the rest of 5-4 and 5-5 it felt like small potatoes in comparison. i don’t feel like we got enough time to get attached to this character enough to care about him

-the phantom/”bobby” had one of the most awesome breakdowns in the entire series. i was a bit miffed because i had this part of the game spoiled a long time ago (which is my fault for not using a blacklist, though), but the payoff was still worth it

anyways....that’s all, i think. i hope you enjoyed the latest wacky attorney adventure, and that you’ll tune in very very soon for my next playthrough!

2021 (dramione!!) wrap-up

i think this might end up being my longest post yet. wow. it really was the year of dramione. once i fell into the rabbit hole of this ship, i’ve only been falling further and further since. it’s been a loooong year and me with my goldfish memory means i honestly can’t remember in too much detail what happened during each story. but i’ll try my best to write down what i did feel at the time.

***

manacled, senlinyu — i wrote a review of it here. and i’m just back again to say that i change my score to a 10/10. after reading an endless amount of other dramione, i can safely say that this story is still at the top of my list, and for good reason. thank you for destroying me in a way that i will never recover from :’)

***

the right thing to do/all the wrong things, lovesbitca8 — horny boys are just whatever. like, what boy isn’t horny. BUT. but. horny boys who understand and exercise RESTRAINT in the way that none other can but draco… lawd save me. draco was SUCH a simp. i loved it. one of my top five tropes is when the guy falls first, and this really hit the spot for me. i started reading trttd before i knew atwt existed, but once i found out about its existence i started reading them side by side, and oh boy did that change the game. if i hadn’t done that, i probably would’ve given trttd an 8/10. but draco’s pov bumped it right up. like, ladies and gents and anyone else looking for love: if he doesn’t create an entire LAW FIRM to keep you by your side, drop him. now.

a 9/10.

***

breath mints/battle scars, onyx_and_elm— this was one of my much earlier reads, when i was still spiraling from the masterpiece that was manacled and i needed more dramione to satisfy the brand new hole in my heart. and tbh i don’t remember much except for the fact that they were constantly angry. the way they were portrayed was very… harsh? so much anger, and because of that, so much toxicity. regardless of whether it’s dramione or not, a toxic realtionship is a toxic relationship. and tbh i think they were a little too unstable for them to do any good for each other in this particular story. that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good story, though. the prose was amazing, but overall not my cup of tea.

a 7/10.

***

wait and hope, mightbewriting — oh dear i almost forgot about this one. it was so cute!! overall an interesting story with the memory loss, and of course i loved seeing a pine-y draco. i really can’t quite remember how i felt about it, but i’m sure the writing was good and the story a good read.

***

all you want, senlinyu — so idk, i’m probably just a fucking idiot, but after manacled, it never occurred to me that senlinyu would have written other dramione stories. idk why. i’m an idiot. but i’m kind of glad i didn’t realize this sooner because that just meant i had a whole treasure trove to dive into. and dive i did, ladies and gents. because oh. my. god. never have i in my entire life read that much smut. and such WELL-WRITTEN smut. i can’t believe i’m saying this as i type but DAMN. there was a lot of sex. not that i’m complaining. :) ayw was also my first foray into the a/b/o world and it really hit me in the face like a giant bag of bricks. in a good way. again, the pining was so amazing. no one does yearning and pining and simping like draco malfoy. and i gotta love him for it. i’m also generally not a fan of misunderstanding as a plot device, but it was just so well done here and entwined with draco and hermione’s own personalities that i was so excited to get to the part where these nincompoops realized how much they were in love with each other. ugh. so good. i might just go ahead and… give it a reread…

a 9/10.

***

the fallout, everythursday — bro this was so dark. also, the chapters were so long LOL. i couldn’t find it in me to finish it, unfortunately. and i can hardly remember what happened so i don’t think it’s fair to give it a score. but i do remember the writing itself was good.

***

measure of a man, inadaze22 — i wanted to enjoy it. i really did. i thought the premise was so interesting, with draco being a widow with a small child and all, but… i couldn’t finish it. i got so bogged down in hermione’s thoughts—which at first, were really interesting because i got to see the narrative so fully fleshed out in her pov. but then it just became kind of repetitive and a bit too much. there was so much talking and moments where i wanted the plot to move along a little faster, but then would just drag out even more. and i’m a sucker for a good slow burn, but this was like a barely burning kindle that almost died multiple times. i’m sorry, lol. i really only kept reading for widdle baby scorpius, the cutest little thing ever. my baby deserved better and i’m glad hermione was there for him.

a 7/10.

***

love in the time of a zombie apocalypse, rizzlewrites — man, this was crazy! so unique! draco was shooting a GUN! but then it kinda flopped. i stopped reading it a few days ago because it stopped hitting the way it did in the beginning. perhaps because i got used to the shocking idea of the wizarding world being caught in a zombie apocalypse? maybe because draco was a little more detached than i expected him to be at this point in the story? maybe because the author dropped a pregnancy plot, my least favorite plot twist of all time? could be all of those things, could just be the last one. but i do think the pregnancy plot was probably at least the tipping point to my already waning interest.

a 7/10.

***

the auction, lovesbitca8 — it’s insanely good. i feel so bad, i just kept getting caught up with school and work and other fics that pushed it to the side. it’s really good, though, and i’m excited to keep reading and finish it. i might have to start over, though, because i barely remember what’s happened since the last time i touched it. i’ll be getting back to it soon, and i’ll update my score here when i do!

***

and a special shoutout to all the one-shots and shorts by senlinyu. my absolute favorite is the seduction, because, well, a simpy draco. are we even surprised.

***

one last honorable mention! i’m also a sucker for good tomione, and their dynamic is honestly a lot more intellectually interesting than dramione. they’re both geniuses in their own right, and it is so cool to see what authors do with that. there isn’t much tomione out there, but birds of a feather by babylonsheep has to be the best one i’ve read yet. whoever the author is, they’re a fucking smartass. they know… so much. either that, or they did a buttload of research for this fic because the sheer amount of detail into the setting (1940s-ish) was mindblowing. seriously. and i looooved the depiction of tom as a child and seeing how he grew into the person he did because of hermione. seeing his boyish side was the best part, because if anything, teenage boys will always be the same, no matter the time or era: horny af. i was so sad to see it hasn’t been updated in years, and in situations like that i don’t really hold out hope to see it completed, but what’s already uploaded is just… *chef’s kiss*

a 8/10.

accidentally confessing to your bestfriend! enhypen.

because, this actually happened to me irl- they ended up liking me back as well so this scenario (?) is purely based on what happened to me lmaoo

warnings: i think i put in some swear words- and slight angst on jay's part lol

also this is kinda long so be rEadY ?? anyways enjoy wie woo

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

heeseung

it was a normal weekend hangout at your place with heeseung, though he had noticed you were acting a bit strange when he arrived. both of you were at your room and your eyes were glued to your phone, thumbs moving at a fast pace, while heeseung was on the floor playing a video game alone. for the longest time you've had a crush on heeseung and you had planned on telling him countless of times but you didn't know when to- while texting your other friends about him and them persuading you to go on and tell him now- you feel your phone get grabbed out of your hands. "hey give me that!" you say as you reached for your phone only to be pushed back into the bed (playfully) by heeseung. "you're texting your crush, aren't you?" he said playfully as he kept your phone out of reach. "shut up and give it back, lee heeseung!" heeseung didn't listen to you at all instead he got on top of and started to tickle your sides. "tell me who! and i'll stop" he said as he got closer to your face, slowly the redness of your cheeks become evident. "as if!" you scoff as he continued to tickle you. "gosh, okay, okay! heeseung it's you!" you say in between laughter only for this to stop when you realized what you had just said. "i- okay i didn't mean that-" you say as you cover your mouth. "you like me?" "yeah dumbass-" you were cut off by his lips that pressed onto your cheek. "i like you too, cutie"

jay

playing the famous game never have i ever with jay at a literal ungodly hour, out of boredom, you both had been going back and forth at each other for any potential blackmail material you (both) could use. jay paused for a little longer than usual, trying to formulate his question. "aw, did you run out of questions?" you teased him. "no- oh i got one!" he says excitedly. "this is going to be such a cliché question but, never have i ever fallen in love with my bestfriend" jay said with a cheeky smile. "i want to hear your answer first" you say, trying to hide whatever you might spill out of your mouth. "never" he said, this only made your heart ache knowing he doesn't even like you back. "uh-" you paused for a bit making jay raise a brow "what? cat got your tongue?" he said in a playful tone. "well, i have... never..." you say while avoiding eye contact. "are you lying?" he asked as he got closer to your face. "me? lying? why would i be lying about having a crush on..." "crush on?" he asked, prodding into your attempted lie. "you" you say out loud. "you have a crush on me?" jay asked he distanced himself a bit from you. "yeah jongseong, so what? you don't even like me back" you say as you stood up. "i wasn't supposed to tell you until i was ready" you say. "i'm sorry" jay apologized. when you had left, jay wanted to tell you that he really liked you back- but how could he? he said "never" when he actually had a crush on his bestfriend.

jake

jake continued on and on, discussing about the topics you were struggling in physics. you had called him over to tutor you, but when he came to your aid, it appears you had gotten more distracted and jake noticed this as he saw you writing on your journal instead of taking a look at your notes and your textbook. "hey, y/n, are you even listening?" jake said while he snapped his fingers in front of you. "yeah, i am-" you said and quickly looked up from your journal. jake nodded and continued but once he did, your head was in your journal again- eyes glued to whatever you were writing. "okay, clearly you aren't listening, give me that-" he said as he grabbed your journal out of your hands. "i am listening!" you protest, jake was curious on what you were writing so he took a look. "i think i can't focus because of him... why am i even in love with him? wait- you're in love with me?" he asked as he pointed to himself. "stop reading that!" you say as you grabbed your journal out of his hands. your cheeks grew red, and you were quick to grab your textbook to cover your flustered face. you could hear jake giggle and moved the textbook from your face, he kisses your forehead softly and smiles. "well now we got that clarified- shall we continue, y/n?"

sunghoon

"are you free today?" sunghoon asked. "well, i'm not doing anything at the moment so, i guess i'm free today- also are you alright? you sound sad" you say hinting out the tone of his voice. "i just feel tired..." he says. "so uh- do you want to go to the amusement park with me?" he asks. "didn't you say you were tired? you need rest" "please? i just want to unwind with you for a bit" you then said yes later on to his offer. "okay meet you there in twenty minutes" you said as you hung up on the phone so you could get ready. both of you were having fun on the rides and games- not until he pointed to the rollercoaster and practically begged you to go on it. "i-" "pleasee, i'll hold your hand if you're scared" he said with a smile, you couldn't resist this man so both of you went on it. sunghoon knows nothing about your fear of heights so when the ride was about to drop from it's peak you held his hand tightly shouting "i fucking hate rollercoasters- i also wanted you to know i love you a lot, hoon, like a lot lot-!" sunghoon had heard everything and held tight onto your hand. after the ride you both had sat down on a bench. "did you mean what you said?" he asked then faced you, your face growing pinkish. "ah so you heard it... yeah i meant everythi-" you were cut off by his soft lips pressed on yours. "i just wanted you to know i love you too, like a lot, y/n"

sunoo

it was a normal afternoon for you both, sunoo was seated on the couch while you lay down placing your head on his lap, he played with your hair while you played a game on your phone. sunoo brushing your hair with his fingers and at times he'd braid some strands of it too. you were starting to get bored from your game and decided to exit the app to go onto your social media, but sunoo was watching and something on your screen caught his eye. "is that me on your homescreen?" he asked and you were quick to put your phone against your chest. "uh, what?" you asked trying to act clueless. "you used my picture as your wallpaper, you adore that much, don't you?" he said playfully. "ew, who says i have you as my wallpaper?" you asked back while he just scoffed. "i saw it y/n, don't lie~" sunoo said and you sat up from laying down on his lap. "fine" you mumbled out your answer. "do you have a crush on me~?" he asked, more onto the teasing side but you had accidentally spilled your actual answer to him. "haha you bet!" you say with awkward finger guns. "i- uh, need to use the bathroom, be right back!" you say as you quickly headed to the bathroom. sunoo knew what your answer meant, so now he's left there- smiling and giggling on how his best friend likes him back.

jungwon

you had been planning on telling jungwon about how you left through a letter and planned on telling later on the walk back home from school. "y/n" your classmate called before you exited the classroom. "you're a friend of yang jungwon, right?" she asked and you nodded. "could you please give this letter to him? it's regarding the quiz bee thing, i'm one of his teammates" she said as she handed you the folded paper, similar to the love letter (for jungwon) you were holding. "oh okay, i'll give it to him!" you say as you got the letter. "oh thanks, y/n" she said and bid her goodbyes as she left. as you walked beside jungwon back home you remembered the letter from your classmate. "oh jungwon, my classmate said i should give you this letter- its about the quiz bee thing" you said as you stopped walking and looked for it inside your bag. "ugh it's probably another reminder to review" he said as he opened the letter, but then you can see confusion evident in his face. "uh-you give me butterflies every time i see you... uh i don't think this is about the quiz bee-" "what do you mean, let me see?" you say as he shows you the letter. "i- oh my god! i didn't mean to give you that!" you say as you look into your bag again and give the other letter. "here-" "i'll read it when i get home, let me read yours first" he said with a soft smile and intertwined his hands into yours.

ni-ki

"i leave for a minute to use the bathroom and now my phone is missing- riki where the hell did you hide it?" you say, literally flipping all the pillows in your room. "ugh even one of my earbud is missing" you say. "why are you looking at me like that?" riki asks, trying to act clueless. "why are you always hiding my stuff? this isn't even your house!" you say as you walk around your room trying to look for your phone and one of the missing earbud. "please tell me where you hid it" you say as he just laughed and laid down on your bed. "what do i get in return?" he asks playfully. "i'll buy you some bungeoppang" you say, hoping he'll give back what he hid from you. "sounds good! here's your phone now" he says taking it out from under his shirt. "uh, my earbud though?" you say as put your hand out, signaling he give it now. "ah- that's for another deal" he says. "riki just what the fu-" "is jay hyung your boyfriend?" he asked. "no he isn't, where did you get that from?" you asked back. "people were talking about it at school- and i was really offended that you didn't tell your own bff" riki said with (yet again) a playful tone and with a pout. "i don't know why they would say that- because the only guy i'm in love with is you" you impulsively. "you what?" he asked. "i what?" you asked back. "you're in love.... with me?!" riki asks pointing at himself. "you know what- give me back my earbud when i get back, i'll go buy your bungeoppang now- bye!" you ran out the door leaving riki who's a flustered mess now. he then punches the air and you could hear his screams of victory "woo! y/n likes me!" you can hear which makes you more flustered as well.

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

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okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

Monster Hunter Rating 21: Khezu, the Blank Stare

When I reviewed Basarios, I made a joke about how the devs likely gave it human teeth over sharp teeth because the latter might not give children nightmares, but I don’t actually think that the devs ever intended Basarios to be more terrifying than any other monster in the game. This monster, however, is literally the stuff of nightmares, and I’m not misusing “literally” here. This may be the longest review I’ve written yet, so buckle up. Time to get spooky with Khezu!

(How it appears in Monster Hunter 1)

(How it appears in Monster Hunter Rise)

Appearance: I think there’s been a mistake here; last I checked, Capcom wasn’t making Silent Hill games. Seriously, this thing would fit right into that series, and not just ‘cause its phallic neck lends itself well to metaphors. The pale, veiny skin, the leech-like mouth, the complete lack of eyes...Khezu’s unlike any other monster in the series because it’s the only monster that’s meant to be horrifying to look at. It’s got flabby, tattered wings and gecko-like feet, but its main characteristic (other than the head) is its tail, the tip of which can open up into a suction cup that allows Khezu to stick to ceilings.

Obviously, Khezu’s an abomination that came from a really dark place in someone’s mind, but that’s just it: Khezu is a monster that appeared in an MH developer’s nightmare either before or during the production of the first Monster Hunter game, and said developer (I don’t actually remember who) decided to put it in the game. I learned of this from the Twitch streams of a streamer called DuncanCan’tDie, who’s a huge MH fan that’s on great terms with Capcom. Unfortunately, I can’t find any other sources for this claim, but I don’t think he’s lying for a few reasons; firstly, like I said, he’s on great terms with Capcom. He’s friends with some people who work there, and he even has a tattoo designed by someone on the MH team he called “Kaname-san” (who didn’t actually give him the tattoo, but drew the design that a tattoo artist used) and the only person who could go by that name is Kaname Fujioka, the man who literally directed several MH games, including the first one, and who was the art director for Monster Hunter World. So yeah. Duncan and Capcom get along great, and if he was spreading false rumors, they’d probably know about it.

The second reason I believe Duncan about Khezu’s origin is that someone once came into one of his streams (and I was there at the time) and started spouting “lore” about two monsters that looked like they could be related, but actually weren’t. Duncan flat out told this person that what they were claiming wasn’t mentioned anywhere and asked for sources...which the loregiver did not provide. In fact, after Duncan started getting on their case, I don’t think they said a word for the rest of the stream. Duncan believes that this person was just making stuff up to sound like they knew a lot about MH and weren’t aware that he was an MH expert, and I doubt that someone who would call someone out on that would do the same thing, especially if he had a reputation to uphold.

I apologize if I spent a lot of time talking about that, but I didn’t want people getting on my case because they couldn’t find anything to support my claims. But in conclusion, I believe that Khezu truly was born of a nightmare, and that’s awesome. It makes the Silent Hill comparison even more fitting since the enemies in those games are basically projections of the protagonists’ psyches. Disturbing enemies are much more effective if they scare(d) the people who created them, and Khezu is certainly disturbing. Because of that, as well as its ominous origin, I’m giving it a 9/10.

Behavior: Khezu mostly inhabit caves, jungles, and swamps due to the need for their skin to be moisturized, though they usually only leave caves to hunt, which they don’t have to do very often due to the plentiful fat beneath their skin, which also keeps them warm. Their favorite hunting strategy is to ambush their prey from a location usually concealed by darkness, which is made easier by their extendable necks. However, their reliance on darkness, as well as their preference to dwell in caves, has made them completely blind and reliant on their other senses; despite not having visible nostrils or ears, Khezu have great hearing and a very good sense of smell. Back to hunting, while they need to subdue larger prey, smaller ones, like Kelbi, are slowly swallowed whole...which is apparently something you can actually witness in the games, according to TV Tropes (I normally stick to the wiki and what I already know for resources, but I went to the “Monster Hunter / Nightmare Fuel” page while searching for another source for Khezu’s origin as a nightmare). As if this thing needed to be more disturbing, it doesn’t always kill its prey before it tries to swallow it, so the Kelbi you can see it eat is constantly struggling as the Khezu swallows it bottom-first. That’s...that’s messed up. But it gets worse.

Practically every monster in this series isn’t any more intelligent than what we consider a normal animal to be. Aside from Lynians, which are people, the smartest monster I’ve talked about is the Velociprey, which might not be as smart as, say, an irl crow, which is very intelligent by the standards of nonhuman animals. What I’m getting at here is that most of the monsters in this series don’t really take any sadistic pleasure in killing and eating prey; they just do it to survive. But Khezu is different. In several MH games, including Rise, the first time you go on a quest to kill a specific monster, the gameplay is preceded by a cutscene that shows off how powerful or intimidating that monster is (and in Rise’s case, you also get a poem). Here’s Khezu’s intro, and I want you to pay attention to what Khezu does from 0:24-0:30:

That’s right: this thing “looked” right at the monster it was going to eat, and smiled. That isn’t just me anthropomorphizing it, either; I’ve seen what Khezu looks like outside of that cutscene, and even with its mouth closed it has a neutral expression, so it smiling actually means something, and considering the context, it’s obvious what the devs wanted us to take from it: Khezu likes killing. It enjoyed the prospect of swallowing that monster whole while it was still alive and struggling, which means that this is the first monster I’ve talked about that we can definitively say is evil rather than just an animal. Rather fitting for a living nightmare, I would say. And if you thought all that was disturbing, I have some...unfortunate news. I hope you aren’t eating anything right now, ‘cause this next part is just gross.

Y’know how some wasps lay their eggs inside other bugs so the eggs have incubation they can eat when they hatch? Well, uh...Khezu do that, too. And they’re hermaphrodites that, from what I can gather, don’t need to mate, so any adult Khezu is capable of injecting another monster with its “whelps” (not saying that Khezu are always “pregnant,” just saying that any of them can be). And you know the really crazy part? After everything I said about Khezu, there are still people in the MH world that tame them and keep them as pets. Why would you want to have a slimy, flabby, sadistic, parasitoid, 14-to-40-foot abomination as a pet!? God, people are so freaking weird.

EDIT (05/07/2021): My older brother reminded me that I forgot about one of the odder aspects of Khezu; when you enter a fight with a Main Monster, its battle theme plays (don’t know if every monster has a unique theme, but several do, to my knowledge), but Khezu has no theme to speak of. I don’t know if this is true in every game, or even if it was intentional at first, but it’s still both funny and eerie at the same time. There’s no background music until you get in a fight, so if you somehow tick off a Khezu without seeing it, then it can sneak up on you. “But Zaph, the moment a monster enters ‘fight mode,’ it roars! So the Khezu will give away its position!” See, you’d be right about that if it wasn’t for the fact that, according to TV Tropes at least, Khezu’s roar sounds just like wind--howling wind, yes, but wind all the same. I don’t know if there’s any howling wind SFX in the areas where Khezu live, so for all I know you’ll still be able to identify it in a hurry, but just imagine what that’s like in-universe! Imagine that you’re walking around in the Frost Islands or something and hear a chilling wind from out of nowhere. Unless you’re an experienced hunter, you’d likely have no idea if that was a Khezu or not, so you wouldn’t know if it’s too late to run or not, or even if you should run at all. Going back out of universe, the details I just described are very nice touches to a monster that was already horrifying in behavior, so I’m bumping the score here up from the 7 I initially gave it to 8/10.

Abilities: All of the “Flying Wyverns” I’ve talked about so far have had a lot of trouble with the whole “flying” part, and Khezu are no exception; they’re better at it than Diablos and Gravios, but they still need to flap really frantically to stay in the air. They’re great at jumping, though, and their gecko-like feet allow them to scale walls and stick to ceilings, something that their tails also allow them to do. Khezu are Thunder-element monsters capable of discharging electricity in a manner of ways, including shooting balls of it from their mouths and emitting it all around their bodies. Since Khezu like to spend time around water, their attacks are even more dangerous, as everything near them will likely be wet and therefore more conductive. This also applies to Khezu themselves, which may be why they stick their tails onto the ground before discharging electricity; they ground themselves so that they don’t shock themselves. Finally, Khezu saliva is very dangerous; we don’t know if it’s electric or acidic, but anything that gives off smoke when it touches something probably isn’t good for your health, which is why owning a pet Khezu is so dangerous; their drool can literally kill you. 7/10.

Equipment: Most Khezu weapons are as interesting as you’d expect them to be, considering the monster they’re made from. Most of them have a horror aesthetic, like this Great Sword called the Khezu Shock Sword:

I just noticed that the skin is actually stretched over the blade, rather than being what the blade’s attached to. Gross, but I never expected Khezu weapons to look pretty. There are also weapons which emphasize the monster’s electric aspect, like this Gunlance called the Full Voltage:

It still has Silent Hill vibes due to its “rusty hospital” aesthetic, and looking at it long enough reveals little details it inherited from Khezu. Speaking of hospitals, there are a couple of weapons based off of syringes, such as the Khezu Syringe, which is a Light Bowgun, and a Lance from MHFG that’s literally a giant hypodermic needle, but I didn’t want to show those off in case they triggered anyone with needle phobia. The last weapon I’m gonna show will be very familiar to those of us who’ve played the Rise demo a lot: the Insect Glaive known as the Bolt Chamber!

I like the green tube running from the sac between the blade and the shaft of the glaive; according to the Bolt Chamber’s in-game description, it uses that “pulsating device” to steal energy from its targets. If you mentioned that to me before I grabbed its image for this review, I probably would have asked how it did that. If you then pointed out the mouth at the glaive’s end, I would have thanked you for cursing me with the knowledge of its existence. Seriously, I’ve used this thing probably more than 20 times, and until I saw this render, I never noticed that. As for the armor, here’s the Blademaster Khezu Armor from MHGU:

The male armor here is almost identical to the one from Rise--which sadly doesn’t have any pictures on the wiki yet--and yes, it does look like the main character from Assassin’s Creed. The female armor, on the other hand, looks almost like a nurse’s outfit, especially with that metal thing on the woman’s head with the cross. The more I look at this equipment, the more I feel like they wanted people to think of Silent Hill, and if so, that’s pretty cool. I’ve got another armor set to show you; the Gunner version of the Khezu R Armor from MHGU:

Jesus, is this an armor set or a medical emergency? I can’t imagine bandages are very effective at protecting your body from physical damage, but thankfully it looks like most of them are just covering actual armor...meaning that the people who designed this stuff in-universe wanted the people wearing it to look like they were in an accident. Not sure I get why, but I’m not here to--actually, I am here to judge, so never mind; it’s gross. Also the female set has Khezu mouths as arm coverings, which is someone’s fetish, I’m sure. The equipment as a whole is macabrely interesting (TIL that macabrely is a real word) and calls to mind a fascinating horror game franchise, so 8/10.

Final Thoughts and Tally: I figured that Khezu was gonna be interesting, but I didn’t know how far the devs would take the horror theming. Everything about this monster is creepy; it looks disturbing, it acts even worse, and its equipment makes me feel like I need a tetanus shot just from looking at it. But that’s not at all a bad thing...unless you’re really squeamish, in which case you were likely cringing this whole review. I’d apologize, but you made the choice to stick through ‘till the end. 8/10.

dating the haikyuu boys

it's two a.m. and i just,,, can't stop thinking about them. i might genuinely be in love. don't like it. (only got to four of them because i cannot physically keep my eyes open anymore)

Kenma Kozume

was a mess when you had the awkward "we both obviously like each other but we're not dating (yet)" tension

you were the one who asked him out

because Kuroo dared you to

this bby was also a mess then you asked him out

he's not very good at voicing his emotions -- a very technical guy who doesn't open up much

while he seems like he doesn't care from an outside perspective, this boy remembers everything

like, he remembers stuff that you don't even recall telling him

you think it's very sweet because even if he has his nose in his PSP, you know he's listening to every word you say

dates are usually just the two of you hanging out at each other's place

he tries to teach you how to play some of his favorite games

thinks it's adorable when you're bad at it

you may or may not mess up on purpose just so he'll scoot closer and show you what to do 😳 ofc not you would never

after dating for a couple months you "borrow" his volleyball jacket from last year

asdkakjasia s2g his heart stops

"i'll give it back when i leave i promise"

that's a lie and you both know it lmao

but he's okay with that because he kind of likes seeing you wear his name

he will die on the hill that red is your color

Sugawara Koshi

my favorite

nearly passed out when he finally got the balls to ask you out

this boy was a stammering mess okay?

i honestly think he would take you ice skating or something as a first date because he's a sappy romantic and into that gooey shit

is the type to get you a gift for every month's anniversary

fights only happen when he's overworking himself tbh and once it gets to that point you just,,, hug him. he will stop what he's doing and will not move

also he is not the type to pull away from a hug first

i will stand by that even if i die

so if you're a hugger the only thing that will be pulling you apart is the sheer willpower of the universe

study dates

you know this boy is a straight A student and if you're struggling with anything he's got you

bonus: kisses for when you get an answer right when reviewing

one night you steal his karasuno sweater while he's in the bathroom

it was just thrown over the back of the chair and it looks so soft and it was cold, okay??

and when he sees you in it??

Suga.exe has stopped working

you get a lil nervous at first but then he assures you to wear it

"it looks better on you than me anyways"

a lie

he's an absolute angel with all the beauty of one

Tadeshi Yamaguchi

you asked him out

tbh he had probably been pining for a long-ass time too

bby boy probably thought you were out of his league :((

first date is probably something cheesy like going to the mall to the theatre

on the way home you pass a pet store

spend at least twenty minutes gushing over the puppies in the window

any pda will make him faint

one time you gave him a kiss on the cheek before class after you had been together for a few months and tsukki said he couldn't form a coherent sentence for the next two periods

also

be prepared to get CONSTANTLY teased by tsukishima

you and yams could literally just be holding hands and that blond bastard would just be like "ugh get a room"

one time he walked in on you and yams making out after practice and he wouldn't leave you alone about it for three weeks at minimum

anyway one night yams would be walking home with you after practice (you stayed to watch him talk with yachi)

and you mentioned off-handedly that it was kind of chilly

this boy has you wrapped up in his jacket immediately

ugh he's baby i just love yams so much

Tsukishima Kei

there was a lot of flirting and teasing before you actually went out

also because he's a prideful prick he refused to ask you out

and ofc this was a battle to see who could hold off the longest and you had to win

and technically you both lost i guess? but it was also an absolute win

you were over at his house working on a project that you had been paired up on

and he was being stupid and arrogant as per usual

and you were kind of arguing over who was right

and he just kind of swooped in and went for it

needless to say you weren't arguing

because of everything leading up things got heated very quickly 😳😳

then you heard his mother calling and saying she had snacks if the two of you wanted them

the two of you ended up using the answer and explanation you had said was right

tsukki was completely unfazed by pda

he was a proud bastard and would take every chance he got to say he was dating someone

tbh pda probably embarrassed you more than it did him

one time things very heated in the club closet until things came to an abrupt stop

poor yams had no clue what he was walking into

that bby boy couldn't look either of you in the eye for a week

tsukki teased you for wearing his jacket even though he had given it to you without asking

god he lived to see you in it

also one time you were at his house and when he was in the bathroom you put on his jersey

it was soft and comfy and smelled like him okay

boy was FLUSTERED

seeing his number on you?? mmm that fucked him UP

would also tease you for being short

even if you were average height

his 6'4 beanpole ass still looked down on you

teasing him includes stealing his glasses and acting like a prick

because he is one

but in a loveable way

anyway that's what i have to say about those boys. please like/reblog if you enjoyed!!

god it's almost three am there's gonna be so many errors in this but i don't have the willpower to edit

anyway ask box is open lmk what you want to see next. i do these and one shots (psst, keep an eye out of a kenma x reader in the next few days)

i know you started a new ask game but… 4, 12 and 21 for the end of year one???

aaah yay i loved this one!!

4) total number of words you wrote this year

According to AO3, I've published 283,728 words this year!!! probably 2k of those are Carrie's from wrap me in a wedding ring, but I also wrote a lot of WIPs that haven't been published yet. If I had to guess I'd say at least 30k more words (chapter 10 of MAWTAC alone is like 8k rn LOL). So probably somewhere around 310,000 total!!! edit: i also just remembered we haven't posted roman holiday yet so uhhhh throw in like 25k more for that LOL

12) favorite character to write about this year

So very easily Annabeth Chase my beloved. But Jason is actually a close second place! I love exploring his character in more nuanced ways so he's been really fun to write too :')

21) most memorable comment/review

I was very lucky that there were so so so many nice comments to choose from, but I think this one from chapter 23 of UFS has stuck in my mind the longest:

you answered one of my comments on chapter 21 (where i said that i felt more empathy for luke here than in the original pjo books) saying “ I mean, in fairness to the original books, they were from Percy’s POV, and since this is from Annabeth’s it lets the narration have a MUCH more generous reading of Luke’s character” and that is SO much more evident now that we have percy’s input and opinion and i have to say that i now realize that he is kinda right lol. i loved your writing even before this, but realizing how much you can express different emotions into the text based on who’s perspective is from has made me appreciate it so much more, it’s really amazing.

I just really loved that the perspective stuff was clicking and that the snap back to reality about Luke's character came across to the reader as much as Annabeth. That was exactly my goal with the chapter so seeing someone have the exact reaction I wanted was so satisfying!!!!!

end of year asks :)

Reviewing Grey's Anatomy Episodes but this time its Season 17

(To those people on my page who don't watch Grey's Anatomy but are being subjected to this I'm so sorry but I really just like to vent about this show.)

Its season 17 now Yay.

They're dealing with the covid 19 pandemic and I'm sure the writers probably did lots of research to make sure that they had the most accurate representation of the situation in the hospitals and otherwise.

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First we're going to start with the love triangle that is Teddy, Tom and Owen.

Owen

Now this is in no way excusing what he's done in the past for the longest while I've loathed Owen Hunt but..... now I feel sorry for him. He saw he had a problem he went to therapy to get himself right, he was actually a good partner for once and communicated in his relationship, he took his time and didn't jump into marriage spontaneously and then Teddy cheated on him over but dial to be heard by everyone in the operating theater with Owen on their wedding day. (I don't want to sound bad but this might also be karma coming to but him in the ass.) I felt so much 2nd hand embarrassment for him and the pain he had in his face the whole time he pretended not to know about her cheating was just oof. I loved though the end where he drove away for the mean time I really do agree with him taking some time and space before he makes a decision. Most of the times he made a lot of sudden decisions that later came back to bite him.

Teddy

Oh Teddy, she used to be one of my favorite characters from a little after she came to the time she left but now they just carried her character so far down hill that it's hard to keep the same energy I had before, now. Everyone at Grey Sloan is on Owen's side and giving her the cold shoulder and she really wants everyone to mind their own business (I honestly agree though, you're in the middle of a pandemic mind your business and do your job now isn't the time to be shunning coworkers because they cheated.) However when she did explain her side I kinda understood it a bit better. It's still an awful thing to do but I know plenty of people who sabotage their own happiness because they aren't used to it. Hell I do it myself sometimes. But then I was also pissed when she just pretended she did nothing wrong at first. First thing first she acted kinda offended when Owen explained why he hadn't called to cancel the wedding to her. Was it kinda sus? The answer is yes but you literally cheated on him that same day, you needed the extra time sis. Not to mention the several time he hinted to her that he knew and gave her the chance to confess yet she lied through her teeth whenever he hinted at it and flat out lied again when he asked if she had anything to confess. I get the whole sabotage route but God was I happy when Owen got in his truck, drove off and left her.

Tom

I was honestly rooting for Tom in the beginning, despite him being a douche I knew deep down he had a heart somewhere, but I actually started to feel less sorry for him last season when he continued to sleep with Teddy despite knowing her situation which he pointed out to her several times and she still ignored it. I know he loves her but let's be honest, she's going to pick Owen as long as he decides to actually take her back and Tom will be left alone and heart broken with his $100000 worth of boxes in booties and a golf club to measure 6 ft distance between him and everyone else. Honestly I kinda saw a panic attack coming, if they're treating Teddy bad then they're probably treating him even more like crap based on the fact that no one besides Teddy, Catherine and maybe Amelia liked him to begin with. This may also be an unpopular opinion but I actually agree with Catherine for making him resign of chief of all chiefs his head hasn't and probably won't be in the game for a while. At least he still gets to be head of neuro. He bought a whole $100000 dollars in booties alone by mistake during an already tough pandemic between that and everything else going on around him I'm not surprised he broke. What did surprise me was that no one even went near him to help even after the attack was finished. Dislike him or not at least ask him how he's doing geeze.

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Jo and Jackson (Never thought I'd have to put the two of them together in a title.)

Truly the biggest shock of the night besides the trailer for next week which I will freak out about later.

Jo

So Jo has decided that in order for her to feel herself again she has to do the devils tango with someone and because they're in a pandemic and she trusts him she chose Jackson. The night of the appointment to do the deed Jo ends up crying in his mouth. The way she treated him afterwards at first was a little uncalled for in my opinion, I mean she was the one who asked for the favor. But later they talked and it was all cool again. Jo didn't really have that big of a plot this episode so not too much to talk about.

Jackson

Agreed way to quickly to doing the devils tango with Jo if you ask me. Seems a little sus. I really hope they aren't rushing him and Jo into anything give the girl some room to breath and also give Jackson a proper plot he seems to be a plot filler for everyone right now like they have no real purpose for him on the show at the moment. I'm beginning to really think that he was the one who was supposed to die last season. I really do love his and Richard's relationship. Jackson never really had a good father and Webber seems to be filling that spot quite nicely. Him pushing Webber to fight to get better and convince him that his career can be saved was heartwarming. And can we take a moment to talk about Harriet finally appearing from the world of Narnia to bless us with her presence? And boy was she a blessing. That baby that plays Harriet was awesome from her repeating Vic saying she can't be a step mom all to her facial expressions. I hope to see baby Harriet again very soon. But speaking of Vic, did she not know that Jackson was a father? How the hell did she expect to never run into her at some point? Then there's the whole question of what did she even expect of the relationship with Jackson if she never intended to even try to accept being around his daughter? also if she really want to be Robbie Rotten from Lazy town and avoid being around kids, maybe she should call or text first instead of showing up in just a fluffy jacket and nothing else.

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Deluca

Glad to see he finally got the help he needed and is back put tho work. I felt so upset last season when everyone just treated him like crap without trying to help him, but they made up for it a little by trying to help him with the intervention. He was also right about the sex trafficking case and I was so glad to see that he was able to be there as her doctor. Plus he's now also finally in dark blue scrubs it has felt like forever before he got those but I digress. He is now on his way once again to be a kick ass surgeon with the awesome skills hes already showcasing. I just hope he continues to look after himself. Deluca shine like the star you are babe.

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Maggie

Has finally found a man who understands her, he is so nice and kind and caring the whole episode I was mentally yelling go get it hun to the screen. She deserves someone who can take her seriously and understand her awkwardness as well as her tendencies finally she has stepped out of the role of cheerleader and support character and is branching out to something else and I'm here for it. And her yelling at Catherine, to share her piece of mind. I was so proud. Go get it sis.

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Richard

Richard Webber is back in the building, finally the king has returned to himself and already solving problems in day one. At the beginning when he publicly called Catherine a pain in the ass I was so stoked I finally thought that he was done being pushed around by her but then he took her back in the end it also kinda felt like she bought him in order to get him back with the hiring him as the new chief of chiefs but I wish them the best of luck, Webber deserves to be happy. I was also happy to see him and Bailey interacting like friends again. For a while it was awkward between them but now it's like the balance has been restored. Side note, him laughing at Teddy and Owen made me laugh so loudly especially when he asked Teddy if her name was still Altman despite the fact he clearly knew about the phonecall drama, not gonna lie I'd do the same.

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Catherine

Not much there, just her being angry at the pandemic and loss of money, lack of power to save lives as well as trying to win Webber back which she successfully did after firing Koracick and giving Richard his job and finally giving him a heartfelt apology without being petty.

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Bailey

It might just be me but so far despite the fact that it's only been 2 episodes. Bailey seems somewhat better this season. Her guilt over Deluca was definitely warranted but at least she tried to make up for it (and just like Harriet her OCD has decided to rejoin us for a visit from Narnia.) For the past few seasons she's been a slight pain but now she seems more like herself.

Her and Ben are adorable as usual, coming every 12 hours to clap for the doctors just to see her then the cute hand signals they made for each other, between Ben, Link and recently added to the group of awesome partners Winston, I'm beginning to wonder where I can find me one of these super thoughtful understanding handsome men. The two guys that knocked her over as well spraining her ankle really should have to pay or something or at least apologize, they literally just knocked a doctor off her feet and made her wheel chair bound, the chief ro be exact. Her and Webber are on talking terms and well again but she really needs to know how to express concern better. She once told Ben that when she's scared she yells but a lot of things would have gone a lot more smoothly if she'd just reminded him he was a high risk for covid and state her concern for him to begin with instead of barking out orders.

I'm also wondering if shes going to be able to handle the whole Covid situation so well for the whole time, with all the chaos and disorganization with the whole ordeal not to mention the whole fit she had with the germs in the episode. I think it'll be a good storyline now that Grey's seems to be bringing mental awareness back up.

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Link and Amelia

They have now officially reached my list along with Ben and Bailey and a few others that are no longer on the show that have reached the stage of killing the couple goals on this show.

Despite the fact that they're not only raising their own baby but also Bailey, Ellis and Zola yet their relationship is still solid. I'm so proud of my baby Amelia she has come a long way from the woman who didn't even want kids to begin with.

I loved the fact that he wasn't upset over her forgetting his birthday and acted like nothing was wrong, just so she wouldn't feel bad about forgetting. I would have been livid set a reminder on your phone babes. Either way she definitely made up for it later with the whole redoing his birthday thing. Also welcome to the world Scout. Looking forward to seeing them more often.

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Levi

How did it all turn so bad, Nico has turned into such a jerk at this point I'm not even sure I'd be to upset if he left if it wasn't for the fact that I ship the person he was before and Levi so much I'm still hoping that they'll go back to how they were before Nico became a lying hypocrite. At the end I was practically begging Levi to push him away, Nico doesn't deserve it not after the way he treated him and he hasn't even shown a hint of remorse to this day.

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Meredith

The biggest shock of the whole episode. I honestly knew something was going to happen to her from the time she fell asleep and started the dream on the beach. Dreaming of beaches have never been a good sign on Grey's I just thought she was going to collapse from stress because she really had been pushing herself all episode. The thing with Meredith is that she cares so much for her patients and does anything she can to save them, but based on the preview of the next episode and the tests they showed it doesn't seem to be test. And let's just talk about that huge bombshell they dropped by bringing back Derek I never thought I'd see Patrick Dempsey on the show again. By the end of the episode I was already literally shaking in anticipation for the next episode. I know they can't kill Meredith, without her there literally is no Grey's Anatomy. That being said I really hope they don't give her cancer, (I know Patrick is involved with helping a charity for cancer.) And I also really hope she isn't getting alzheimers I just hope it's nothing serious in general. She's been through enough man. I just want this to be a really touching moment where I get to see Merder have some touching moments and it doesn't end up to be Izzie and Denny all over again. I don't think anyone is ready to handle that. I read in a spoiler that there's supposed to be some more visitors arriving on the beach and I'm stoked for it so I really hope it's a real spoiler I'm tired of rewatching the newer seasons to experience some of the old joy.

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Imma need them to give that intern Perez an official recurring contract for the show because he is currently one of the best things to come on that show in years. He's a breath of fresh air.

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. I'm READY.

LAST OF US 2 SPOILERS!!!!

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.......

Are ya gone yet? Have you scrolled past if you don't want to see?

....

Alright. *CRACKS KNUCKLES AND NECK* Let's jump on into this!

First off I'm done with the game.

Second off..... THIS GAME WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL!!! 10/10

The ending litterally killed me. Finished 2 hours ago,talked the ear off of my best friend for about 1 and a half hours and gushed and lamented the whole time. Cried for about 20 minutes by myself. Had an existential crisis. So on so on. And now I'm here, in the middle of an online meeting cause, ya know, Corona, muted with no camera on, because I'd much rather be typing out this dissertation.

Y'ALL. Go play this. It is AWESOME.

Now for the third and probably longest bit of this. My rebuttal to the bad reviewers:

I still contend that the bad reviews are 1 of 2 reasons with a little of a 3rd mixed in to both. #1. Being that people are pissed they killed off Joel and think the story did a disservice to the characters. #2. People are pissed because they think Naughty Dog was pushing a liberal agenda with a heavily muscled female antagonist/protagonist, a gay Ellie, and a transgender side character, Lev. The mixed in #3 is the extensive violence which I do contend was a lot. Yeah LoU1 was definitely violent, but damned this one got dark. And that's something coming from me because I am a fan of gratuitous violence.

Let me tackle these real quick. I'll be brief about #2 here though.

IN REBUTTAL TO REASON #2 - If you honestly didn't like LoU2 because of this reason (which I explained in my previous post about how IT IS logical that Abby be built the way she is and how Naughty Dog was definitely NOT shoving this or ANY of the others i mentioned in anyone's face in my opinion) you're in need of some corrective thinking and you should re-evaluate your ideas and realize that your opinion on these social issues doesn't matter and is wrong. None of these things make the game story illogical or bad. Bottom line: there are people like this in the world and their stories in this game drive the plot. It doesn't belittle the previous games or detract from the current game at all. You're just bigoted. Calm your tits and don't play the game if it upsets you so much. Pull a Seth and bury the hatchet. Make some steak sandwiches.

But I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the majority of the bad reviewers were more pissed at reason #1, Joel's Death. But real quick.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON #3 -If you hated the game because of the amount of violence, do realize that the violence was the point of the story this time AND IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A DRAG ON YOUR SOUL. LoU1 was about finding love again in a violent world. Love being in the foreground and the violence a backdrop, which is why the violence didn't feel so in your face even though it was PLENTY violent. LoU2 was about succumbing to the violent world because of losing love. Violence being the foreground and tainted love (insert song here ya bastards) being the backdrop that drives it. AND HERE IS MY FAVORITE PART PLEASE READ THIS PART AT LEAST IF YOU DECIDE NOT TO READ THE WHOLE THING.

Think of the two endings. LoU1 WAS a story ABOUT finding love in a violent world BUT ENDED with Joel committing a violent act to protect his love (killing all the Fireflies, 1 of which was Abby's father and the driving reason for LoU2's main plot, and DOOMING THE WORLD TO INFECTION AND DAMNING HUMANITY). LoU2 WAS a story ABOUT losing love and reacting with violence BUT ENDED with Ellie doing a peaceful act (allowing Abby to leave alive with Lev) because of the love she had for Joel (that flashback scene of Joel playing guitar when Ellie decided to forgive him for the violence and lie at the end of LoU1).

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS?

There NEEDED to be a LoU2 because LoU1 ended with violence and a lie. LoU2 fulfilled this with an ending of forgiveness driven by a memory of love from the first game.

I've read a lot of the bad reviews where they mention the violence became too much and ruined the game. And that Ellie wouldn't act like that. First off Ellie totally would, fuck off with that noise. Second off THAT'S THE POINT. This was a story about how revenge is cyclic violence and it doesn't end until someone makes the decision to end it!

BOTTOM LINE: I felt ragged 2/3's of the way thru this game because of the violence, but that's the point of the story. Revenge is not worth it. Especially when it's with people like Abby and Ellie. Because neither are villians. AND BOY HOWDY DID IT TAKE ME A LONG TIME TO COME TO TERMS WITH THIS. Because I HATED ABBY FOR KILLING JOEL. When I first started playing her I DID NOT WANT TO BECAUSE I WAS ANGRY WITH HER. I litterraly felt dirty playing her. But this game did something amazing to get me around to appreciating her character. NOT LIKING HER CHARACTER, but appreciating. And I will tackle this in my next rebuttal.

IN REBUTTAL OF REASON # 1 - Let's talk about Joel's death.

I WILL NOT LIE TO YALL.

I was mightily upset about his death. At first I thought it to be a disservice to a beloved character. But then I realized something. See above about Joel's actions. He killed all those Fireflies and DAMNED THE WORLD. Not only that it is specifically mentioned in both LoU1 and in this game that Joel and Tommy did horrible things before they met Ellie and before Jackson. JOEL WAS NOT A GOOD GUY.

I think what people are upset about is the REALNESS of this game. A lot of other game developers don't do what Naughty Dog has done. Naughty Dog did not shy away from Joel's character flaws and his past wrongs! In fact, all the user's that use the reason for hating the game as "too many plotholes" Y'ALL FUCKING PLAYIN. More on that later.

Back to what I was saying about realness. In the real world, Joel's death and the brutality of it and suddenness of it is actually a very logical event that would occur. Abby doesn't KNOW Joel like we do. All she knows is this guy killed her father and a lot of her friends and damned humanity in the process. LoU1 is not a happy game. Might I remind yall about Sam and Henry? But his death was not "sudden". And it didn't steal Joel from us. I actually really enjoyed all the flashbacks to him. We got more than enough time and I actually feel as if the time we got with Joel was better because of his death so early in the game. DO NOT TELL ME THAT THAT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM FLASHBACK DIDN'T FULFILL EVERY FEELING NEED.

And now for the wrap up - the big hangup that I see of those who hated Joel's Death is that the story didn't redeem it. They couldn't "buy" Ellie forgiving Abby at the end.

As I stated I will not lie. I was worried for about 2/3s of the way through this game that the bad user reviews were accurate and that the story sucked because I couldn't see where the writers were going. All I saw was senseless death of characters that I had loved and that I was coming to love. I straight up love Jesse by the way. It wasn't until Abby met Lev and Yara that I started seeing the majesty of this revenge story.

BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HATE FUCKING REVENGE STORIES WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER IS LIKE, NO, THEY WOULDN'T WANT ME TO DO THIS. Before this game I'd be like "miss me with that bullshit" but after today I would say "give it to me like this." This actually felt real. And boy was it raw. Guys, the reason I started forgiving Abby is because of her decision to help Yara and Lev. Because it was her attempt to right the wrong of killing Joel which was eating her alive. Her and Owen and Mel. Guys. She is Joel. Why the hell do you think Joel did what he did for Ellie in the first game? Because he liked her at first site? BULLSHIT. He did it because Tess told him to do something good for once. IF YOU ARE UPSET WITH ABBY THEN YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JOEL. I get it. Abby had to earn that with her story because at the beginning I'd have said leave her to the clickers. BUT CONTRARY TO THE USERS OF THIS REASONING SHE DID DESERVE HER REDEMPTION. The game shows over and over and over again that Abby isn't some mustache twirling villian who deserves instant death. She is complicated. She cares and she hates and she loves. She knows what's right and wrong and tries to do right as much as possible but she's human and she gets angry. Anger means you care.. and she cared about her father. She's a good human too because good humans feel shitty about doing shitty things and if you are observant at all you can tell immediately with Abby, as we play her in her Seattle Day 1, that she has doubts and isn't comfortable with her role in how Joel died. SHE DESERVED BEING FORGIVING BY ELLIE AT THE END. AND IN THE SAME TOKEN ELLIE DESERVED FORGIVING HER AND BEING FORGIVEN BY ABBY. It is very clearly obvious by the end of the game that Ellie could not reconcile her revenge killings with her best memories of Joel or with the actions she had to take to get there. Also it is of very important note here that Ellie stopped drowning Abby because of a flash image of Joel playing guitar. And then later on actually seeing the memory associated with that image that stopped her you can understand why Ellie did stop outside of just being as tired of violence as Abby was. The memory shows Joel and Ellie agreeing to try to forgive Joel for lying to her about the Fireflies and denying her her purpose. All this the night before he is killed. Note what Joel says. "If God gave me the chance to do it all over again. I would have done the same thing." Just that fucking devotion he has for Ellie shines through and she really understands his reasons for what he did. Still doesn't feel as if she can forgive him. THAT IS IMPORTANT. She DOES NOT agree with his decision. She understands it, but doesn't agree. But still decides to try and forgive. GUYS. That's exactly what she understands about Abby. Joel was sorry but he still would have done it. Same with Abby. There's a reason that image popped up as she was killing Abby and not the image of his beaten up face.

Remember that line from LoU2? Tess said it. As she is confessing to Joel that she was bit. "We're shitty people, Joel. It's been that way for a long time!" And Joel says "No, we are survivors!"

Y'all don't think for one second that Joel wouldn't have gone after that Soldier who shot Sarah if Tommy hadn't shot him? Y'all kidding yourselves.

Abby realizes this truth in the end. She realizes the part she played in enhancing and playing into the fucking violence and shittiness. Staining and tainting herself in the process. She just wanted to be clean. And Ellie just wanted to be clean.

Bombing this game is doing a fucking disservice to the emotional complexity of this story. It's been a long time since I've been that emotionally twisted.

This game isn't preachy. This game makes something clear that alot of other revenge stories get wrong. Revenge makes otherwise good people do shitty things and the shitty things taint us for the rest of our lives. At least Ellie and Abby stopped themselves before they tainted all their being.

Yeah we're shitty people. But we don't have to be.

Assasin’s Creed III Remaster review - Spoilers! - Long post!

I wanted to keep this spoiler free, but as this game is such a narrative experience, I don't think I'll be able to. I'll try to keep them at minimum, but be warned: there are major spoilers ahead. By the way, this game is almost a decade old, so y'all had plenty of time to get spoiled beforehand. And if you're reading this, it's because you like this game and you probably know how it ends.

Review under the cut because this is way too long. 

As always, I express my feelings and impressions regarding my experience with a game – I write it because I like writing reviews instead of, I don't know, recording a video for YouTube. I'm not a YouTuber and I feel safer behind a keyboard where people don't point out about my weird accent (the accent every Hispanic person has when they speak English). Since the pandemic started, I found refuge and comfort in AC games, with Syndicate being my first contact with the franchise, and Unity solidifying my love for it. I found strength and weaknesses in all the installments I've played, which are almost all of them by now (excluding the first AC with Altaïr, the new saga with Origins, Odyssey and Valhalla, and Rogue). I've also platinumed three of those games I've played, and I'm on my way to platinum this one, so I think I can speak from a deep fan standpoint by now.

Since Syndicate, I studied from up close each of the protagonists of the mainline games. I felt drawn to Arno because he looked like one of my oc's (and his girlfriend looked like my oc's girlfriend as well); I wanted to learn about Ezio because he's a fan favorite; I wasn't at all impressed by Edward but ended up growing fond of him; I respect Altaïr for what he means to the Brotherhood; but I can safely say, that I haven't felt as attracted to a main AC protagonist as I felt with Connor.

From the moment I knew he was a native American (such a bold choice, it seemed for me) I felt instant attraction – but not the, idk, physical (he's a cutie I give it to you), but because of what he could bring about as a main character. A perspective we don't usually get to see, and personally, as I'm not American, a point of view to educate me on a different side of history. I wanted to see what they could do with him as the star of the game, I wanted to play with him and understand how someone like him could rise up and become a protagonist of such a well known and beloved saga of games. I applaud this decision from Ubisoft, whether they did it because they wanted to look progressive or not, I don't care, I'll always cherish that the protagonist of a famous videogame is a Mohawk. And with the American Revolution as the main stage, no less. Such an important scenario to strengthen the virtue of independence, patriotism and love for a country, going hand in hand with a character that represents America even more than the Founding Fathers.

(Also I'm a Hamilton Fan Trademark so I couldn't stop singing random parts of songs while playing this game, it was a nightmare every time Lafayette appeared on screen because I JUST HAD TO start mumbling Guns and Ships)

I lunged blindly into this game – I'd only spoiled myself the very ending because I played Black Flag before – so imagine my surprise when I first saw Haytham, Connor's father, as the main protagonist.

So here's the deal. Let's clear this out of the way.

I thoroughly enjoyed the game. It was what I expected and more.

But.

Yes, there's always a but in AC games, you know the drill.

As I kept playing with Haytham, charming though he was, I kept thinking to myself "ok but when does Connor come into play". I also already knew Haytham was a Templar, so the end of the first few sequences didn't catch me by surprise – actually, what caught me by surprise was that there was no mention of Assassins or Templars during the "prologue" with Haytham, instead you're left to believe they're all Assassins until he prays to the Father of Understanding and you realize with a gasp "oH NoO!".

You play with Haytham the first three sequences. One of these have the most memories out all of the sequences more or less. This whole thing can take up to three to five hours depending on how much time you wish to put into exploring or completing the optional objectives. And still no signs of Connor.

Connor does come eventually – as a child – by sequence 4. It's not until the end of sequence 5 that you get to play as (almost) adult Assassin Connor, so maybe five or six or even seven hours into the game and you're barely starting.

I know what they did here. I understand. And this is what I meant when I said they were going for a 'narrative experience'. To make you play as Haytham before, to lure you into a false sense of safety believing he was an Assassin working for a just cause, to make you feel invested in his relationship with Ziio – only to discover he's one of the bad guys, that will eventually give birth to our true hero of the game – it sediments everything perfectly. It tells you everything you need to know to understand these characters and their motivations. I can see where they're going and some of it can be quite predictable, but it was done right. On the narrative aspect at least.

I got used to Haytham by the time we switch to Connor, we're used to his cloak and his three pointed hat – his accent, his sassiness, his everything. You grow fond of him and you think, hey, maybe it isn't so bad to not play as Connor, I can roll with this – until the sudden change happens. The game completed its purpose: let you know and care for Haytham, only to strip him away from your hands and bring you the real protagonist with an interesting background that didn't need to be told, but it was instead shown to us players. What a better way to tell a story.

But the problem is – most of Haytham's memories are fillers. For starters, the very first memory where you appear in the opera house (similar to that one at the end of Black Flag… mmm) serves as a tutorial for climbing and killing with the hidden blade. Then the whole memory on the ship to Boston – completely expendable and removable, the story doesn't suffer from it. All the memories used with Haytham as tutorials – how to shield from an open line of fire, how to use ranged weapons, how to sneak and find stores and viewpoints, how to use horses and walk on snow, fricking Ben Franklin – everything, everything could've blended in better. You could still tell the story you wanted in only one sequence playing with Haytham, and end it the way it does end in sequence 3, without avoiding any important detail to frame Connor's backstory as well – but instead, this part with Haytham does feel like it overstays its welcome, and by the end you're just hoping it ends soon, it drags on for too long, and there's no real sense of thread pulling the strings together here, everything just kind of 'happens'.

But the never-ending prologue doesn't end there (badam tum tsss), because Connor still isn't an Assassin. Connor is not Connor actually, as I had been led to believe prior to playing this game: his real name is Ratonhnhaké:ton, which I wish it was used more often than it was. Ratonhnhaké:ton is like four or five years old when you first play with him, and his village is assaulted by what we assume are Charles Lee's men, a Templar and companion to Haytham. Ratonhnhaké:ton swears revenge upon these putrid British invaders and he grows up resenting the death of his mother, who died in the fire provoked by these Templars.

Not even knowing what a Templar or an Assassin is, Ratonhnhaké:ton is sent by one of "the spirit guides" (actually, Juno, one of the Precursor people) to seek the Brotherhood. When he's around 14, he sets out of his village into the wide world and finds Achilles, who will become his Assassin mentor – that is, after completing a set of tasks that yet again seem to go on forever. Ratonhnhaké:ton turns into Connor to cover his true origins, a name I thought it was random, but by the end I realized how wrong I was.

It isn't until Connor turns 17 that he becomes a fully-fledged Assassin – and you might think, well, Ezio became an Assassin at the same age – yes, but it didn't take him five sequences to reach there. I can't believe I'm defending Ezio.

It's not that I didn't enjoy playing as Connor when he was a kid, no, and I also don't think that part of the game should be skipped since it shows his people, family and friends – maybe comprised, yes, into only one sequence – the real problem here is the fact that first you need to play what could be considered the longest prologue ever, even longer than Kingdom Hearts 2's one, and you're teased with grasping the real protagonist but no, because there's still more 'prologue' to cover with Connor's rise to the Brotherhood. The real, real story, begins in sequence 6, and even then you still have a lot of tutorials to listen from the NPC on duty.

And if you do the maths – you're halfway through the game – halfway! – and you're just starting. The game has twelve sequences and the meat of the plot is on the last six. Then, why did I play all the previous parts?

For the 'narrative experience' thing I talked about. They wanted to lay the groundwork for a better, compelling storytelling, and I can appreciate it, but not when it hinders the pace of the game this way.

That is, certainly, my biggest issue with the game. The pace. If you're going to give me such a slow start, introducing characters non-stop, and only give me resolutions, discoveries and action packed sequences on the later half, then the story isn't balanced at all – I understand that at some points you need to slow down and sink in what's going on; you can't also introduce ten characters in one cutscene because that's just bad story telling – but the memories of this game are clearly not well organized and weren't thought with the player in mind, but rather with the story in mind. To think that the first mission you do as a full Assassin is to receive more and more tutorials on how the fast travel points work and how you can lower your notoriety (as far as gameplay goes in this mission, it's only walking around at a slug's pace to follow the NPC giving you instructions) it does feel like a slap in the face after all the things and hours and effort you put into it to finally reaching this point (which, I remind you, it's by sequence six!).

It's at this point where I can't blame people for not following through with this game. I have plenty of friends who abandoned it even before reaching this part. And I found myself having trouble to return to it: I only wanted to go back to it because I knew I had to like Connor, I knew he wouldn't disappoint me as a character.

Boy, was I RIGHT!

Now, to be honest, I may be biased, like I said: I was instantly attracted to Connor due to his backstory and I wished to see what he could bring to the table. And I have to say, he didn't disappoint me at all.

Maybe you know or maybe you don't, but up until this point, my fave Assassin was Arno: he showed weaknesses and he suffered the consequences of his actions, to the point of no return, that rendered him vulnerable and a mere human being. And I love me a good vulnerable character who knows their limits and strives to get out of that pit. I love me a good, compelling character that has growth and agency and isn't made of cardboard or has a one-dimensional personality. And Connor delivered on this front.

Connor might very well be my new fave Assassin. I'm sorry, Arno. I still love you babe. But Connor… I never found myself rooting for a character more than I did with him. I wanted him to succeed, I wanted his people to be saved, I wanted to see his ideals become a reality – and he's got so much agency, he's a storm when he comes into a scene, his naivety mixed with the brutality of his killings, the simplicity of his reasonings – he's an idealist, and he fights for it, whether we like it or not, and that devotion to his own creed is at least respectable, let alone admirable. He's never downplayed for his upbringing or his ethnicity, he works among the most notorious people as if he was another one of them, he's well respected in his community, he shows kindness and always offers a helping hand to those in need, but never doubts to plunge his blade into this opponent's throats, fearlessly, he doesn't mind telling George Friking Washington to shut the hell up and not follow him because he'll kill him (there's such a pleasure in a native reprimanding enslaver Washington) – he's, simply put, a great hero.

I've seen many complain that he's boring, or that the actor who played him, Noah Watts, delivered lines in an emotionless way – the only thing that could make him 'boring' is the fact that he's not a lady's man like Ezio was, and to my eyes that's a plus. He speaks slowly and modulates well in English because that's not his mother tongue, and I can appreciate when a company puts these little details, like his way of speaking changing throughout the game as he gained more confidence with this new language he was learning to use. As non-English native speaker, I certainly can commune with the feeling of adapting my tongue and my brain to a new language, and I also know that I speak weirdly to those who are native, maybe I don't have the same intonations, and maybe I sound emotionless as well, who knows, but I can't think of a better portrayal of a non-English character speaking English in videogames than this one. They remained faithful to his culture, and even though I noticed Noah didn't speak Mohawk as fluently as English, I can still feel pleased with the fact that Connor speaks in his mother tongue in all of the scenes he interacts with Mohawks (that's something they did better here than in Unity, where not a single character has even a French accent. I switched the language spoken to French in my subsequent playthroughs, much to my disappointment, because I really liked the Canadian actors). I know subtitles may seem threatening to some, but I wish they did this more often: deliver more lines in the original language of each of the protagonists. It shows care and respect. And I think this game excels at respect.

So, yes, I liked Ratonhnhaké:ton, as you can see. Maybe a lot. Too much.

I also really, really enjoyed his relationship with Haytham.

When Haytham appears back in to the fray it's when the plot picks up. Their interactions are gold: I love the rivalry, I love that Haytham is constantly testing his son, and I love the tiny bits that may show or make us believe that Haytham has a soft spot for him – I love that we never truly know what's going on through Haytham's mind, why does he do the things he does – but what I enjoyed the most about these two fighting together is the fact that they represent opposing forces, a clash of interest, and they bring back the concept of the blurred line between the Templars and the Assassins, their different methods. Haytham represents the collectiveness of the Templars, through him we learn of what they truly uphold as right and just, and behind some of his reasonings you can see sense and understanding – you comprehend his goals, you get to know your enemy, your antagonist, which is something, for instance, the Ezio trilogy lacks (because Templars bad bad pium pium die Templar bad guy) and Unity and Rogue tried to do but ultimately ended wasting its potential. I never understood Templars more than I did through Haytham, and sometimes I found myself nodding at some of his statement, like 'hey… huh… he's not that wrong about this…'. But still, we're led to believe that the good guys, the Assassins, are never wrong, so we pull through with Connor – only to realize that yes, Haytham was right in many aspects, and yes, Haytham has lied to us and he needs to be stopped.

It's here when my love for Connor reached its ultimate stage: when he denies both his father (Templars) and Washington (for whom the Assassins were working). It's here where you see the true agency of this character. It's not black or white, as Ezio's games were; it's not that he was expelled against his will from the Brotherhood like in Unity; it's not that because of a clash of interest now he resorted to the Templars, like in Rogue; no, it's the philosophy of the very first AC game with Altaïr: Templars and Assassins are one and the same, they only differ in their methods, and when Connor comes to this realization, his struggle is visible and he puts his people first. Like always.

He remains true to his personality. He's grown, he's seen the truth, but he must make a decision. And after all, we're here because we want to see him protect his people. That's his real main driving force and we root for him because of it.

Now, I've spoken a lot about our main character. But, what about the secondary ones?

Achilles, Connor's mentor, hides more than he's willing to share – but slowly his backstory unfolds. In his homestead, Davenport, you're able to build a community with different townsfolk that you can invite to live with you through special sidequests, which combine plot and gameplay seamlessly. Through the homestead missions, you get to know Achilles and the other inhabitants and you see them thrive and grow into a tight-knit community close as family. I daresay that these missions were my favorite out of the whole game, and seeing the town grow not only in NPC's walking around but also in sounds, steps, people working and laughing and dogs barking and kids playing, gave me all the fuzzy and cozy feelings of a warm blanket in winter. Most of Connor's innocence and kindness is shown through these missions, and there are also some really good jewels hidden there, like the quest that asks you to guide the pigs back inside – damn. This game gave me very good laughs.

On a gameplay level, this game is light years away from its predecessors – the parkour alone has been revamped and revitalized, making it more fluid. Free running now isn't a chore anymore. Now you can hunt, which is a great part of Connor's backstory and culture, so it's good to see they blend gameplay with plot like this. There's a crafting system that took me ages to understand, but thankfully I got the hang of it. The combat is pretty much the same (counter kills always for the win) and the difficulty remains quite easy, as the games that came before. I wasn't looking for a challenge so I'm fine with it. Now, if you're looking for a challenge… the optional objectives got it covered for you. Because, good lord, they made these stupid main missions so much unnecessarily HARDER and IMPOSSIBLE to complete without having three or four ragequits and sometimes you have to restart up to ten times. To be honest, I never found myself more enraged with the optional objectives than I was with these missions, and I thought Unity's optional constraints were stupid ass complicated, I was wrong. This game. Must be. The most. Annoying. Piece of videogame. To platinum.

Apart from the 'oh I want to die optional objectives' thing, you have naval missions – which, yes, you guessed it, take place on a ship – I guess they were testing the mechanics for a (not so far away) future pirate game, because I can see the seeds of what later Black Flag came to be. It's serviceable and it fulfills its purpose, but as I don't like ships much, I left it on hold for the endgame. 

If you don’t dig the naval missions nor the main missions, there’s plenty to do in this game: you have the aforementioned homstead missions, the club challenges (which can take... quite a while), the underground fast travel points (a nice change of pace, though you can easily grow tired of them), the liberation missions, which will see you help liberate a city from Templar control and recruiting a new Assassin apprentice, much like in Brotherhood and Revelations; taking Forts, hunting like there’s no tomorrow, courier, delivering items and message delivery missions, a ton of collectibles, etc, etc. 

You might realize I stopped talking about the plot by the time I reached sequence 6 – yes, it's because I'm a little upset with it.

I said that we're here because we want to see Connor protect his people and triumph against the Templars. Yes. We receive that, yes. Amidst. A thousand. History. Lessons.

In my Ezio's Collection review, I complained that in Revelations we were shoved history in the face – I hadn't still finished AC3, because then I would've mentioned something about it. Connor comes across all the important figures of the American Revolution in such a contrived way – he acts as a guardian angel of this revolution, aiding each of the emblematic characters that took part in. I can roll with it in my suspension of disbelief (how come this one person was present at every major event, you know), what I can't roll with is the fact that he was present at the Declaration of Independence – this is some Ken Follett level of bs of probability of something happening to a character. Besides, it's always latent though never truly explicitly addressed, but Connor's skintone was something that should've deterred him from even speaking to someone like Washington – let alone, be present at the moment they signed the Declaration. He does mention at some point that freedom and this new nation was only for white men, and that he acknowledged that slaves deserved as much freedom as everyone else was fighting for; I'm glad he addressed the elephant in the room, though I'm also glad they didn't make the whole thing about it, because normalizing a character like this as a main protagonist was the main idea, I think, when they chose a Mohawk to represent the American Revolution. Still, that someone like him was able to achieve all he achieved in a plot like this, it only means he has some kind of Main Protagonist Shield, otherwise I doubt this could've served as a realistic story for anyone else in the same situation as him. It's, uh, a little hard to believe, that's all. Whereas I can see Arno existing within the historical frame of the French Revolution, without being the one that let the guillotine fall on King Louis' head, this one was a little more far-fetched.

I haven't touched upon the Desmond part – the present day of this game is more, uh… present than ever. And I loved it! I loved it because it delved deep into the Precursor's lore, and also it fleshed out Desmond's relationship with his father, and we actually do shit with Desmond – though that part of the Brazilian stadium, huh, for a company that paid too much attention and consulted with experts on the Mohawks, they clearly left Brazil out of their investigations. I forgive them, they tried.

The music… didn't have as much personality as other installments, it was kind of there, and right now I can't evoke a single theme except for the main menu one, so there you go, it's quite forgettable for my taste, sadly.

I forgot to mention that: this game looks gorgeous. I played the Remastered version of the game, and sometimes it looked like it was done for the PS4 instead of being a remaster (it does look better than Black Flag which came afterwards!). Lighting is magical, the trees breathe life into the screen, the water effects are crystal and realistic; many times I felt like was horse-riding in a Last of Us game (yes, I just compared Ubisoft to Naughty Dog, don't hit me). Davenport Homestead is my favorite location, now more than ever, because it's not only beautiful, but it also means home.

This game accompanied me in a very important moment of my life: I sprained my ankle and I spent a week in bed recovering, while also pondering about my job and the prospects of my future; I took many decisions while playing regarding what I want for my life. I cried at the end because I realized I had become too attached to the characters and because I was so sad to see Connor keep losing things. It all comes full circle by the end. It's a very mature ending, maybe a little unfulfilling, but reality is often disappointing and not everything needs a happily ever after.

All in all, my major complaint goes to the structure of the game and the poor organization they gave to it (AND THE OPTIONAL OBJECTIVES DAAJKSDAD). But Connor as a character in itself made it all worthwhile for me. And I'll always cherish him. I know he won't resonate with everyone, but he resonated with me.

Final Warning | The Board

Aquata and Greg’s feud comes with a few consequences...

Date: Sometime in mid July

TW: none

@notmuchofatail @simba-bonfamille-lyons @alzcomicbarn @thesorceress-hera @rezares @trip-downtheriverstyx 

AQUATA

As the Board began to settle in their seats, Aquata glanced at the agenda that had been sent out. It mostly looked like the usual business, except for the first item. “What’s this about ‘Board Behavior Guidelines Reminders?’” she asked, looking around. Aquata had a sinking feeling she might actually know what it was about, but she wasn’t admitting that just yet. “Who put that on the agenda?”

GREG

Gregory - slumped in his seat and looking miserable as ever - hadn't even glanced over the agenda until Aquata spoke, his gaze peeking down at it before a small huff of a laugh slipped from his lips. Of course. For a moment, he found himself looking at Simba because... well - if he had one guess on who would have put that there, it was definitely him before he shot a look towards Aquata. "...Give you one guess." He mumbled easily enough.

SIMBA

Simba's eyes had cut to Greg at the laugh. He was more than done with Greg's sour attitude. Even if he didn't want to run again--which would be fine--he was on the board until December, and he needed to act like it.

Maybe he shouldn't've put it first on the list, but it was the most hot button issue and he had a feeling it wasn't going to wait until the end.

"Considering I'm leading this meeting, it was me," Simba volunteered the information easily. "I--we have decided that reviewing appropriate behaviour would be prudent."

He glanced at his fellow board members to back him up

HADES

This was a long time coming that nevertheless should not be necessary. Hades had rolled his eyes at the whole idea-- but couldn't deny that, well, they didn't have any better option. So: dramatic intervention, five-against-two it was. It could end badly (with Aquata storming out and Gregory in tears) but maybe, just maybe, something productive would come out of it.

Hades was skeptical. But he wouldn't undermine Simba.

"Especially in light of your recent actions on Twitter--but that is just the latest example of a long list of behavioral issues on both your parts," he said with a nod. His eyes settled on Gregory for a second longer-- after all, he knew the boy better-- and his eyebrow twitched up in judgment.

AL

Frankly, Al was feeling kinda vindicated about this. As much crap as people gave him on Twitter, at least he knew how to use it responsibly -- aka he didn't get into public fights with his co-workers.

But he was gonna be nice about it, since it really did benefit him if the hippy dippy side of the Board (read, most of it at this point) had a schism, so...

"I for one think this is a very good idea," said Al. "We can all use a refresher! Keeping our socials clean is a good idea. Who knows what smear articles people might dig up!"

Yes, that was shade at Reza.

REZA

Reza's brow quirked up and he shot Al a sidelong glare. He almost wanted to defens Aquata and Greg's Twitter use out of spite. Excuuuuuse the fuck out of him for actively trying to topple a hostile regime even mundus hated, and selling a potion to help with nightmares to a distraught mother. Hmmph. Not Reza's fault that legally it was 'magic on a child.'

He didn't say anything. Didn't feel the need to yet.

HERA

Hera, on the other hand, had heard about all of this from Mei. She wasn’t on Twitter, nor did she have any desire to be, but it was more than that— it wasn’t as if Aquata and Greg were enemies online and best friends whenever they were in a room together. If it hadve been just an internet feud, Hera might have let it go. But it was affecting her directly, which meant…

“It’s for all our benefits,” Hera stressed (she wasn’t about to lecture Greg and Aquata on playing nice and let someone else get away with it). “But  that isn’t to say you two shouldn’t take extra notice of it.”

AQUATA

Aquata crossed her arms. She knew she had fucked up. And she knew that she needed to be a little more careful about how she looked to the public. That didn’t mean she liked this “intervention” one bit.

“I still maintain that Gregory keeps intentionally provoking me,” Aquata said haughtily. “Anyway, message received. I’ll be more professional. Considering I actually give a d— crap about this. Unlike some people.” Aquata glanced at Greg and then back at her own agenda.

SIMBA

Thank Allah they were all on the same side of this. It would have been a pain if he was heading the charge with no one to back him up, but four other people? There was no arguing with that. And like Hera, and unlike some of the others, Simba wanted to be blunt in calling Aquata and Greg out specifically. It did no one any good to speak in vague terms.

“Aquata,” Simba said sharply at her accusation. Or complaint. Whatever it was, it had no place in this meeting.

“Being more professional is not blaming someone else for your behaviour. You and Greg are getting the same treatment. We are aware that both—“ his eyes flicked to Greg and back, “—of you are equally involved in this feud. But your denial of your own responsibility in it makes me question how much you believe that this is really harming the board and something needs to be done about it. And that is my biggest concern at the moment.”

GREG

Gregory didn't meet Hades' gaze - even if he felt it on him for a brief moment of time. If there was anyone here who's opinion he genuinely cared about, it was his. So he didn't like that he'd 'disappointed' him or whatever but... — for the record, he'd been completely fine until Aquata got here.

And see, Greg could have opened his mouth to argue that right there Aquata was instigating him with both of those comments despite the fact she was trying to say he was the one starting it all! What was that then, Aquata?? But again - Gregory did not, either by his own self control or by Simba's quick snap of retaliation. Now, he also didn't deny that he was highly aware it made the board look bad. But... In Greg's opinion so did a lot of things. Probably worse than a bunch of little Twitter fights. Anything that came out of his mouth at the moment surely wouldn't go over well though - so aside a quick icy glance over to Aquata , Gregory simply remained silent. Barely.

HADES

This was going about how Hades predicted it might go:

Aquata, kicking up a fight. Gregory, saying practically nothing. Shrinking in his seat. Hades's pinched his lips together, not sure which one was more disappointing. Not that it mattered-- it was hardly a game.

That was sort of the whole damn reason they were here.

"Are either of you aware that you can be removed for misconduct?" Hades added swiftly. Might as well make them realize just how fucking serious this could be.

AQUATA

"Removed?" Aquata blurted out, before she could stop herself. That seemed extreme. Sure, misconduct wasn't completely inaccurate, but wasn't that sort of thing usually reserved for, like, criminals and raging anti-Magicks? "I mean-- sorry, I know that there are certain rules and procedures, but... I mean, when is the last time someone was removed from Board? Like, I know this is serious, but..."

GREG

This wasn't actually a surprise to Gregory. He'd known very well about the rules and stipulations of the Board. That at any time, people could be 'petitioned' off the Board for.. well, pretty much any reason if there was majority rule about it. Why wouldn't he believe that Aquata's and his own actions wouldn't warrant something like this.

The only difference was that... getting kicked off the board wouldn't even be that much of an issue for Gregory. But clearly Aquata was more than offended by that notion.

"...if we're disrupting the rest of the Board or Board business in any way, or if we're not getting along with each other...you can petition to have people removed." Gregory mumbled quietly towards Aquata without even glancing her way, instead moving to pick up his pen to spin it around in his fingers. "It may not have happened...in forever - but doesn't mean it can't.. dunno why s'a surprise"

HERA

Hera resisted the urge to rub her temples throughout this whole little back and forth. Evidently, Aquata didn't understand how serious this was, and she was beginning to get the feeling that Gregory didn't much care either way, from how quiet he was being. There was a happy medium to be found between their respective reactions, and it would've made things a lot easier if they could've found it, she thought.

"Obviously, there are proper procedures in place; we can't just tell you both to pack up your desks and be out by the end of the day. But it is a possibility, and it's something the two of you," She shot a look at both of them, because whilst she might've liked Aquata a little more, they were both equally at fault, "Should be equally concerned about going forward. I don't think it's something any of us want to do," Now she glanced around at the others, before shrugging her shoulders. "But we can't keep turning a blind eye."

AQUATA

The sharp look from Hera was really all Aquata needed to see. Yes, she had known Simba the longest, and probably agreed with Reza the most on policy, but Aquata trusted Hera's judgment. Being a love witch made her seem wiser, and after that first brunch conversation, Aquata had wanted to impress her. So for once, Aquata bit back her indignation.

So she reined herself in from glaring at Greg (she hadn't asked for an explanation from him) and instead directed a serious nod of understanding at Hera. "Alright, then," she said primly. "I'll keep that in mind for the future. And I apologize for any inconvenience this might have caused."

Aquata glanced down at the agenda again. "If that's all settled, should we move onto the next order of business?"

vi’s year in review: 2020

tagged by @chocosvt​ and @secndlife​! thank you two so much 🥺💖

i feel like i really didn’t write as much as i should have and wanted to during this year. i’m still really burdened by my self-inflicted fear of not being good enough, not only for you guys, but for myself. i hope to find more courage to write my stories and share my thoughts and ideas and horniness through them in 2021. and to anyone who sticks around to hopefully see that happen: i couldn’t be happier to have you.

01. first creation of 2020

cat got your tongue, january 2nd. it was just a spontaneous, smutty little drabble. not much else to say, i’m afraid.

02. last creation of 2020

half-silvered, december 28th. it was part of merakii’s job au collab and it was my first participation in a collab. i’m actually really happy with it and it is currently the longest piece i’ve posted on this blog. i’d be so appreciative to anyone who would read it and already am to the ones who already have.

03. one of your favorite creations from 2020

i didn’t create all that much, hehe. but i think my favorite piece from 2020 is quits, my wonwoo fic. i’m really happy with it. i think i captured the atmosphere i wanted to in that, the feeling i had while thinking of the fic. it’s cozy but real. sorry for stroking my own horn.

04. a creation you’re really proud of

probably the same as the one above. i’m also proud of in death, a drabble for soonyoungie. and bedside, a drabble for jihoonie. another jihoonie drabble, neediness, i really like too.

05. a new style that you tried this year and a work that used it

honestly, i don’t really know anything about different styles or at least don’t consciously categorize them. i just write however feels right in the moment, so i don’t know!

06. a creation that took forever

it usually doesn’t take all that long for me once i’m finally writing - not weird considering my fics haven’t been very long as of yet. what takes forever for me is to just... start writing...

07. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes

quits, which makes me happy. because i like it a lot.

08. a creation you think deserved more notes

is this where i’m supposed to promote half-silvered....? :eyes_emoji:

09. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it

none! i barely create for the group i already love, bruh.

10. a creation you made that breaks your heart

i don’t know that i’m capable of breaking my own heart. when i write something angsty, i’m just kind of excitedly wishing to break everyone else’s. hehe.

11. a simple creation that you really love

i ought to go with either bedside (the jihoon drabble i mentioned) or showering (a seungkwan drabble) or lovesick (a wonwoo drabble). oops, i went with all three.

12. a creation inspired by someone else

i guess you could say that the drabbles for the made-up fic title game i played was inspired by the lovely people who contributed. i’ll mention think about us (for woozi), title by @celestialpearls, as a reference for the question.

13. a favorite creation made by someone else

does it have to be on tumblr? because if not, my favorite creation from 2020 is all eyes on you by aquariusblues on ao3. it’s a 100k soonhoon fic, e2l and slow burn; literally the best shit i know.

14. some of your favorite content creators this year

if i forget mentioning anyone up in here imma lose my mind. (honestly, i’ve just been really bad at consuming tumblr content this year, ugh.)

@jonghan​, @adorablehoshi​, @joshuahong​, @chocosvt​, @blushnote​, @redevenir​, @secndlife​, @hansolmates​, @lxveille​, @bbugyu​, @fallinnflower​, @secndlife​, @chilligyu​, @celestialpearls​, @soonhoonsol​

15. and for good measure, a couple more creations of yours that you love

i don’t have all that many creations yet so here’s my masterlist, hehe.

Survey #400

“it’s an age-old story: the first will be last, and the last will be kings  /  the small will be great, and the great will be weak”

Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? My mom; I thank her every time she cooks for me/us, and I really do mean it. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? Somewhere around a month. What was the last thing to really surprise you? My brother has a fiancee and is having another son! :') Have you ever found out that you have been sleep walking? No. Have you ever tried making something from one of those short cooking videos? How did it turn out? No. Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? Idk about anything notable. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? No. What is the last thing you had a craving for? A donut. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Sometimes. What was the last thing you felt like you wasted money on? It's so rare that I buy things with my own cash that I really don't know. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? Venus' terrarium on my own. Mom has to help me with buying it. What is a recipe you’d like to try to make for yourself? I don’t cook, so. What goes through your mind when you look back at old photographs of yourself? More than anything, I get sad over how much weight I've gained. I was so healthy once upon a time. It also just makes me miss my childhood. What was the subject matter of the last email you sent? I believe it was about setting up an appointment with my therapist. How do you get your news? Facebook articles, really. What do you think about lizards? I love them! I was that kid that always tried to catch them when I saw 'em. Now I just observe because I don't want to terrify them by trying to pick them up. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? No, but sure, I'd do it. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Both. The time I received morphine, it did jack-all for me. If you had to choose which video game to be in, which would it be? Hmmm... I would say Azeroth from World of Warcraft, but too much shit goes down, ha ha. Perhaps the top of the temple in Shadow of the Colossus? So long as I could have someone I love with me, I'd be in Heaven. Although... I doubt there's WiFi there, so I might drop that answer, lmfao. I really don't know. Between the two, would you rather live in a place where it’s only night or where it’s only day? Day. I need the natural light of day sometimes, and if I wanted to sleep, I could just find shade. If you had to be an actor/actress in a movie, what genre of the movie would you be best at? Fantasy. Out of fire, earth, water, wind, light, and dark, which element appeals the most to you? Dark. What’s one thing that you wish was real? Friendly dragons, haha. Is there anything (show, comedian, etc.) that you constantly quote or make references to? No. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have absolutely no idea. I don't even remember almost any of them. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes. Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Yeah, sometimes. I genuinely don't mind her. Do you still make Christmas lists? Yeah, because I'm asked to. Do you watch the show Dexter? Never seen it. Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? I'm torn between the violin, harp, and piano. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom, by a year. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? A lot, actually. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? I have these tictacs I keep in my purse in case of a dry mouth. Medication makes me have that severely, and my psychiatrist recommended me to always have a hard candy available to suck on since it forces salivation. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? My younger sister, badly. How far away do your grandparents live from you? They're all dead, but they lived in far away states. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? None. It's a bad idea to keep chips in this house, haha. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Well, I was born with dirty blonde hair like my dad, but my hair is thick and more similar in color now to my mom's before the cancer completely drained the color. If you were going out with your celebrity crush, what would you wear? OH MY GOD LA;KSDJFAKLWJE I DON'T KNOW I LOOK AWFUL IN EVERYTHING. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Teared up, yes, multiple times. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I might swear under my breath, but that's the extent of it. If you were adopted, would you want to know? At this point in my life, I don't really know. I kinda find myself leaning towards no. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman sure does. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? I want to say that was the night before I was getting my tattoo redone. Do you own any flip-flops? Yeah, considering they're like... all I wear, ever. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) It was the only lucid dream I've ever had and I'm not complaining about it lmao. Have you ever had a dream that upset you or made you cry? Oh I'm sure. Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Not to my recollection, no, and I don't believe you should ever adopt that mentality and say that to someone. Do you own a laser? No. Is there anything you like to put on a sandwich, that some might find odd? Nah. I do enjoy a layer of potato chips on some sandwiches, like ham and cheese, but I know that's like an actual thing some people just like. What colour are the shoes you wear most often? They're black flip-flops. When was the last time you were required to put on a mask? In the morning when I go to the TMS office. And what colour was the last mask you wore? It's one of those normal blue and white medical ones. The last time you were in a queue, what were you waiting for? To see the woman who would give me my APAP mask. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes, Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? None for the first shot, but my second shot bruised badly and I felt seriously shitty the following day. I was perfectly fine afterwards, though. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Sara has an AMAAAAAAAAAAAZING voice. When was the last time you wore make-up, if ever? What shades/colours? I don't even remember, but I'm sure it would've been black. What is something that seems popular, but doesn't interest you personally? Fashion, various TV shows, etc... Are you clumsy or graceful? I am STUPID clumsy. Like it's just ridiculous. Do you like gloves? I like fingerless gloves. Does your sibling(s) have braces? My older sister did as a kid. Do you ever say "OMG" in person? No; it's a random pet peeve of mine, "Internet talk" irl. What was the last thing your parents got mad at you for? Dad, no idea. Mom, uhhhh. Not "mad," but "annoyed" probably better fits how she felt about me leaving the heating pad I use for my cramps on the floor. Do your pets have favorites? I'm definitely Roman's favorite seeing as he is my literal shadow, and I'd assume Venus trusts me more than anyone else, but realistically, she's in contact with almost no one else, so. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? The first guy to have the title of "boyfriend" was Aaron, and I broke up with him 'cuz I just wasn't as romantically into him as I thought I might be. It was puppy-dog love, and I feel I knew that. My first *real* boyfriend was Jason, who broke up with me because my mental illnesses began to affect his wellbeing. Which I now accept is fine, but he seriously coulda gone about things differently... When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? Late into my teenage years; idk the exact age and don't feel like doing the math. Teddy kept peeing on the bed to where it was just unrecoverable and needed to be thrown away. My current bed is comfy enough. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? My absolute favorite was digging tunnels in the sandbox, pretending to be a meerkat. The only trend I ever created, haha, seeing as my classmates got into it with me, allowing us to make huge tunnel systems. It was really cool. I also liked playing 4 Square (which I now don't even remember the details of) on the basketball court. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, my driver's ed instructor and the guy who was on the same route as me. What’s your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? N/A Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any as pets? I'm picky with dogs. I like interacting with any dog, but I don't plan on ever owning another. I don't like how hyper they can be, and I prefer more independent pets, like cats. Basically, I'll be hyped to meet a random dog on the street and give it some loving, but I don't want to take it home to be my own. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? No. I cannot stand elitists. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? And I hate gatekeeping in fandoms even more. There are varying intensities of "being a fan," but regardless, if you like something, congratulations, you're a valid, "real" fan. What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? I don't pay attention to this, honestly. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? I'll wear either, but without is way more comfortable. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? God no. What length do you like your shorts to be? I don’t wear shorts. What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Warcraft, but not because it was bad. I've talked before how in the theater, the orcs' voices were just so fucking baritone that I couldn't understand almost ANYTHING they said. Kinda ruined the experience for me. What was the last disappointing book you read? Don't recall. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Very rarely. If I do, they're mostly of animals being silly. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Probably Dory, but idk. There's WAY too many options to fish through.