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inkskinned · 3 months

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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

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celestial-artisan · 2 months

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Velvette: Breathe, darling, just breathe. Vox, sobbing: I've done nothing with my life! I'm a failure! Alastor: Well that's never bothered you before.

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canisalbus · 4 months

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✦ 2023 summary of art ✦

#CanisAlbus #art #artists on tumblr #own art #own characters #yea you can sort of tell when this train got derailed #there's pre and post Vasco 2023 #the good thing is I've been more productive this year than in past 5+ years combined #haven't had this much fun drawing in ages I hope it shows at least in some way or another #unless something really drastic happens I'll probably continue along this trajectory for a while #I might reach a saturation point eventually but there's no way of knowing when that'll happen #so I'm just going to try to make the most of this intense and self-indulgent oc art period #your feedback and support mean a lot to me I hope this year will be as good as 23 #thank you for bearing with me #the missing month is March I didn't post a single thing in March #cw blood #blood #cw gore #gore #cw head injury #head injury

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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 7 months

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Danny, desperate to get someone competent to help him with his growing problems in Amity, travels to a dimension full of heros and villians and in true Phantom fashion, overshadows one of the first Heros he sees- Nightwing.

He immediately tried walking away to a more discrete location to create a portal but was interrupted by Nightwings allies who were very suspicious of Nightwings sudden change in behavior. Unfortunately for Danny, he wasn't fooling anyone and made a run for it. He wound up ditching Nightwing and disappearing.

Danny, seeing how amazingly competent these people are, only becomes more determined to kidnap them and take them to Amity...

#dpxdc #prompts #fanfiction prompts #batman #nightwing #danny phantom #danny fenton #phantom at some point overshadows the bat plane #the bats are freaking out cause this keeps happening and they dont know what this unknown wants #only that it keeps trying to take them somewhere #danny is from another dimension in this so if he successfully kidnaps one the trackers probably wont work #maybe a different universe?

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natelia-aldelliz · 1 year

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Ghost after meeting Soap.

Price : Have you slept?

Ghost : Depends what day it is

Price : Go to bed.

#cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #captain john price #implied ghostsoap #implied soapghost #ghost is a catboy by the way #Soap is more complicated because he's a cat person and doesn't like dogs but also he's very dogboy leaning personality wise #dad price for the win even if he's only old enough to be big brother price; he's 50 spiritually according to his 'kids'#price would be like 'ok do you want to talk about it?'#and ghost would look at him like 'what do you mean “talk about it” what happened to bottle it up like normal people?'#“i'll just forget all about it” ghost tells himself #and then soap is bumping into him in the corridor and smiling up at him with the power of the fucking sun and wow ghost is in love fuck #i was supposed to draw something for valentine's day but my brain was all no : funny scene first but now it's 9:30 am and i haven't slept #maybe expect something for valentine's day at some point - probably not today tho but like at some point this week maybe ?

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skeletoninthemelonland · 10 months

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a glimpse of what their early dynamic looks like

#i'm posting these in this blog first because i think its very silly #i could talk about them if you want me to #*ignores if you want to hear me or not and simply starts talking*#I think at some point during development i stopped thinking about them as 'mrs. afton and mr. afton'#it's funny knowing they were never supposed to meet at all #Ballora belongs to sister location. which takes place some time around 1983 or 1985 (Behind The Codes has its own canon timeline)#Fazbear's Fright happens in 2023. which is 30-40 years apart #but then we have Ultimate Custom Night. Everyone is trapped together in the same location seemingly with no chances of escaping.#if you think about it. they're just a part of this huge scrupulous plan #no one is predestined to anything. it's certainly not different for Springtrap and Ballora.#they are just... there. like everyone else #they are all linked in some way. all the clues tie back to the Missing Children Incident.#but... you're probably right. maybe there's more to it #maybe there is A Link rather than a link. you know what I mean?#Episode 3 will explore this and much more #for now. have these two idiots trying to figure out how to get out of trouble #behind the codes #fnaf #fnaf behind the codes #five nights at freddy's #ballora #springtrap #fnaf btc #my art #starbstalks

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saltseashark · 5 months

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famblies (found or otherwise)

#a sketch dump . by meeee . hiiii im here still i prommy #mash #hrughhh so man y people #trapper mcintyre #max klinger #bj hunnicutt #hawkeye pierce #radar oreilly #margaret houlihan #of which there is a distinct lack of for once lol #charles emerson winchester iii #francis mulcahy #and OTHERS sorry sorry im sure theres more #nurse kellye #u get one bc i like u a lot #waughhhhh most of these are because i went insane abt cute casual affection and families (see. the mcintyre girls bc im soooooooooooooooooo #normal abt that). but yeah enjoy i shall slink back into the shadows i am doing another mash painting so thatll probably happen at some #point. UMMM ummm. buy my acrylic charms boy.#my art #long post #NEARLY FORGOT THAT SJDKFSDF but tbh if u follow me its a long post. its always a long post unless i get too impatient to save up on drawing

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witchinatree · 3 months

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thinking about how in the magnus protocols universe tim and sasha are (probably) alive, and don't know each other

thinking about how basira and daisy are still cops, (probably) slowly getting corrupted by the hunt (again)

thinking about how georgie and melanie may finally be able to be healthy and happy together (fear and eyes in tact)

thinking about the other jon and martin. the other jon and martin who have not met. without the magnus institute, without the horrors, they never would have fallen in love.

thinking about our jon and martin, in love and in a computer

thinking about what would happen if they met their others. the others of their friends. thinking about

#the magnus protocol #the magnus pod #the magnus archives #tmagp #magnus protocol #tmagp spoilers #tma spoilers #i dont think this will actually ever happen in the podcast #i think it's more of like an “imagine where everyone would be without the magnus institute” sorta thing #tim and sasha wouldnt have met #basira and daisy would just be normal cops #georgia and melanie would probably still date at some point since they knew each other from their respective youtube and podcast careers #and jon and martin. the saddest of them all #i miss the magnus archives i might relisten to it again

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spielzeugkaiser · 9 months

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So if it nears winter time before they find Jaskier, would Geralt take Milek to Kaer Morhen? Or does this timeline take dubious place after TW3 game, and ah, events have occurred?

[MASTERPOST] - (context for when Jaskier and Vesemir met) Milek already was at Kaer Morhen at one point! But. Ahhh. Events have occurred 😬

#jaskier #the witcher #geraskier lovechild #vesemir #the witcher wild hunt #ciri #VESEMIR in this AU is a tricky thing once he does know and Geralt is back #once Geralt gets to know the truth he won't blame Milek or Jaskier that much for not telling him - he will definitely argue with Yennefer #BUT VESEMIR. that is the one that will sting the most - and he can't talk it through with him #but Milek has seen Kaer Morhen - although he won't say it at that point he doesn't know how to explain that one #also Jaskier seeing Kaer Morhen (probably? I haven't decided on that one yet) the first time #certainly the first time after their fallout - without Geralt #that must be a strange feeling #also remember how I said somewhere Mileks shit health is some aftereffects of the trials?#Vesemir tries to help her but Geralt would also be furious because I think a lot of what happens there alchemy wise is #at least sort of #close to what the trials were

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glitchedcosmos · 1 month

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Absolutely in love with the idea of movie shadow , and movie sonic mirroring each other in almost every way, instead of contrasting the other. Shadow being the most extreme version of Sonic, someone who once had the same dreams and beliefs, but lost everything, and lost the ability to keep his hopes and dreams alive. Sonic being the most light version of shadow, someone who kept his dreams and hopes alive , despite the loses, he still has everything. I hope in Sonic 3, Sonic and shadow have to fight the crushing weight knowing the they could’ve been each other.

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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hey what if Eddie had a lil crush on Wally in the early days. i think that'd be cute

#its hard Not to crush on him hes a handsome little man #everyone in the neighborhood probably crushed on 'em at some point #except for our dear local lesbian poppy ofc. and potentially sally... shes up in the air rn #but yeah i just think itd be sweet! wholesome!#scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A QUICK AND MESSY SKETCH WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED #blinked & the next thing i knew i was shading. huh #i don't even ship them really What Happenedddddd #i just think wally has too much rizz. he unintentionally flusters everyone simply by Being #No One Is Immune

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doriana-gray-games · 5 months

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"we have to hurt L back now, no?"

NO??? My Sherlock would NEVER! (genuine) No but seriously, if he hurts Lestrade unintentionally and it's brought up by someone, I think he's going to cry (again)

Uhhh ok, soo there’s this thing in MC and L’s backstory that kinda explains why L is a bit distant in the beginning…

🫣

#it’ll come at some point…#it’ll… it’ll be fine…#probably #ITS NOT A HUGE DEAL #Mc doesn’t even realise they did anything #but it was the catalyst for everything bad that has ever happens to L basically #so #u know #it’s #fine #we’re fine #(it’s late I don’t know why I’m telling y’all this. my spoiler filter is always worse at night).

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quinn-pop · 5 months

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the return of my dedede wedding headcanon

he likes to keep it lighthearted and sweet; most of why people like having him officiate is because of his charisma. he’s great at handling whatever situation and usually good at ad libbing. and he genuinely loves doing it because well. it’s a party and it’s about people caring for each other, what’s not to love?

(tbh he probably tries to hide how much he cries at weddings but he just really likes love lol)

also! dreamland culture is kinda complicated, being made up of so many species from all over and who knows where, so there are a lot of different wedding traditions and no one way to do it

anyway, silly art

i just really felt like drawing something soft

#i wasnt planning on having something for wednesday this week but it just so happens to be today so #happy cringe day wednesday #i dont think dedede would start doing weddings until prolly sometime after tfl #being such a crucial point in his arc and all #and he probably changed some of his responsibilities around then too #all my metadede stuff is late timeline i know i just have a very particular timeline in my head about Kirby character arcs and whatnot #they really are my comfort ship at this point tho huh #kirbyposting #my art or something #meta knight #king dedede #metadede #headcanons #quinn does comics #kind of a low quality and unpolished post but I don’t care I had fun drawing #also a few of these ideas were sitting in my notes for months lol

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inkperch · 2 months

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Vaggie: ugggh, can I go back to stabbing things yet?

Carmilla: Just a few more days, to be sure you're fully heale-

Vaggie: *yeets knife at Carmilla's hand* See! Contracts over, I'm fine!

Carmilla: ...If you weren't I'd have your soul right now.

Vaggie: And? You'd give it back-

Carmilla: NOT IF YOU'RE GONNA BE THAT RECKLESS WITH IT-!

#Silly shitpost #probably gonna happen off screen at some point lmao-#vaggie carmine au #carmilla carmine #vaggie hazbin hotel

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crossedwithblue · 6 months

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random thought bc I've been listening to Six on repeat: the queens claim that the only reason they're remembered is because of Henry, but would Henry be one of the most iconic and well-known English monarchs if not for them?

#like his defining trait is sorta 'bloke who had six wives who he treated pretty badly all told' plus the whole church of england thing #which arguably would have happened anyway in some sense since protestantism was sweeping europe but is generally credited to him wanting #a divorce whether thats accurate or not #yes he was quite charismatic etc but there were plenty of others who were too or at least interesting #like nobody talks about the guy who was Probably murdered in a framed hunting accident #or the one who was executed by having a red hot poker rammed up his arse #or the one who dies after gorging himself on strawberries and eel pie iirc #ok fine maybe i only remember the memorable daeths but you get the point #the six wives are what made henry viii significant is what i'm saying #via shitposts #six #six the musical #tudors #tudor queens #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #jane seymour #anne of cleves #katherine howard #catherine parr #henry viii

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jestroer · 9 months

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What if: Racoon Joe Hills

Celebrate Joe Hills Weekend by joining her patreon or giving him a tip!!

#remaking this post because i accidentally deleted it OOOPS #could've just leave it at that but i do like to be able to have all of my original post in the tags of my blog i will just. repost it #if you see this nothing happened #im sleep deprived #joe hills #zombiecleo #joehillssupportweekend #court jester's art #racoon joe hills #rejoice #i will probably draw them as a racoon again at some point i think she rocks it #white background

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