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#pretending 109 isn’t real
acecrow · 7 months
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And then Chuuya fell on his head
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stuarthull2 · 2 years
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hermes scarf replica 15
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simmonshvidberg3 · 2 years
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Reese Getty
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gatesmccartney8 · 2 years
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Wander over Yonder Messages
To anyone who dares to think this show is stupid
1) Actions speak louder than words
2) Accept defeat with dignity
3) Not everyone you meet has good intensions
4) Love always wins
5) Think before you speak
6) Make sacrifices for those you love
7) Do good and you will receive good
8) If you love something, set it free
9)  Life may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful
10)  All’s well that ends well
11)  You’ll always get caught in your lies
12) Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not in order to fit in
13) Know how to accept it when you’re wrong
14) Ignore people who insult you and want to bring you down
15) Having a beautiful heart is what really matters
16) Have a strength of character
17) Stand up for yourself and those you care about
18)  It doesn’t matter whether someone else believes in you or not, you need to believe in yourself first
19) Life doesn’t give you what you want, it gives you what you need
20) Don’t make quick judgments
21) Don’t underestimate someone’s abilities
22) Face your problems head on and don’t run away from them
23)  A true hero is humble, kind and selfless
24) Life isn’t a fairytale and things don’t always work out the way we want them to
25) The biggest gift anyone can give you is a smile
26) Always be grateful for the little things someone does to make you happy
27) Always make sure to set a good example for others
28) The most powerful thing you can do is win a battle against yourself
29) Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not in order to impress someone
30) Don’t trust everything you hear and everyone you meet
31) Enjoy the ride and don’t compare yourself to others
32) Deal with problems with intelligence and wit and not violence
33) It’s not good to spend too much time in your head and forget about reality
34) Always take into consideration the needs of others
35) You can’t force someone to love you
36) Expect the best, but be prepared for the worst
37)  A true friend is always there for you when you need them, believes in you and won’t give up on you
38) Follow your heart’s desires
39) Make sacrifices for the betterment of others
40) Even the smallest things can mean the world to someone
41)  Imagination is a beautiful and powerful thing
42) Don’t be selfish and always focus on what you want
43) Appearances are deceiving
44) It’s better to have a beautiful mind and soul than to be physically appealing
45) Good and evil are both equally important
46) Instead of fighting with someone, try to put your differences aside to solve the issue
47) Nothing is impossible
48) Some people are manipulative and fake
49)  Behind every hard exterior there is a heart that wants to experience love
50)  Always be kind to someone, even if they’re not kind towards you
51) We are one
52) Everyone deserves to be happy and to feel loved and appreciated no matter who they are
53) People are not always what they seem or who you thought they were at first
54) Sometimes you are the reason for your own problems
55) Have balance in everything you do, even good
56) Hang out with people who make you a better person
57) You never know how much you really need someone/something until they’re gone
58) Always make sure the people in your life know how much you appreciate them
59) Friendship is the biggest adventure of all
60) An enemy is just a friend you haven’t made yet
61) It always pays off to be kind
62) Always keep your promises
63) Sometimes the kindest hearts have felt the most pain
64) Keep your eyes on the prize
65) Karma will always come back to you
66) The secret ingredient is love
67) Don’t try to change someone and accept them as they are
68) Let people find their own happiness and don’t force them to be happy
69) Accept every single part of someone, even their flaws
70) Respect your elders
71) Some things/people are built to last
72) Your weakness can also be your strengths
73) True friendship (love) is better than being cool and popular
74) Superficial things are temporary and unimportant at the end of the day
75) In order to achieve your goals and dreams, you need to be ambitious, hard-working and determined. With those qualities and a good plan, you can do anything
76) It’s easy to manipulate huge masses of people
77) Enjoy every little moment spent with those you love
78) Loyalty is priceless
79) Live life to the fullest while you still can
80) Don’t be afraid to be different
81) Always try to understand where people are coming from
82) Patience is an important quality
83) Real life is so much more beautiful than virtual reality
84) Take risks
85) There’s good in everyone
86) Love is a battlefield (and sometimes you lose)
87) We’re all just little black cubes of darkness
88) Don’t come to conclusions without thinking things through
89) Making someone else feel special is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world
90) Sharing is caring
91) Don’t hide who you are and be unapologetically yourself
92) Don’t be what other people want to see
93) Don’t let greed get to you, because you’ll end up losing what you already have
94) Always be humble and kind
95) Keep in mind that you’re not the only one who’s suffering, and that there are many people out there who’re hurting too
96) Love is worth fighting for
97) People tend to present themselves in a better light than they really are
98) Be carefree and go with the flow
99)  It’s important to have balance between your head and heart
100) People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel
101) Never give up when things get hard
102) Your family loves you unconditionally no matter what
103) Don’t be bothered by other people’s business and do your own thing
104) Deal with unrequited love with hope and optimism
105) Let people believe in whatever they want to believe in
106) Don’t break people’s illusions because they give them hope
107) First come small wins, then big ones
108) The darkest times are when you should laugh the loudest
109) Spending time with the ones you love is never a waste of time
110) Don’t focus on the past or future, but the present
111) Don’t waste time on jealousy
112) Even when it looks like other people have it all figured out, that’s not always the case
113) Keep toxic people out of your life
114) Just because we fail doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try
115) Our world is created by our state of mind
116) We won’t be able to see beauty around us if we don’t carry it within ourselves
117) You can’t allow pride to stand in the way of doing what’s right
118) We’re all eternal students of life
119) Nobody’s perfect
120) Not knowing yourself and what you’re capable of is dangerous
121) It’s a pleasure to do what people say you cannot do
122)  It’s better to believe in a lot of things than not to believe in anything
123) All good things come to an end, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make memories
124) Everybody needs somebody
125) People are more than they show on the outside
126)  Nothing can separate those who really care about each other
127) You can’t buy love
128) People and their actions can be unpredictable
129) We don’t live for love, but we die for it
130) Those who are less scared of death have more meaningful and fulfilling lives
131) Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened
132) We should sympathize with other people’s struggles
133) If something can’t be in your life, keep it in your heart
134) We can change the world only when we experience change within ourselves
135) Friendship means cooperation and mutual respect
136) We become more like the people we spend time with
137) Bad things/people can change
138) There’s more power in doing the things that scare you than in the most powerful weapons
139) Help yourself and let others help you
140) No one knows everything
141) Little things in life are those that really matter
142) The more you know, the more you grow
143) Teamwork is important
144) Always stand up for what you believe in, even if it means you’ll stand alone
145) Never give up hope
146) Be aware of your emotions and express them without shame
147) Life is all about transformations; when some things end, others come to life
148) True inner strength is being able to deal with your own passions
149) You can do anything with the help of those who care about you
150) There’s always a reason why someone acts the way they do
151) Have the strength to give those who have wronged you second chances
152) All you need is love
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ouyangzizhensdad · 4 years
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I'm reading through some of your meta and in the one about WWX possibly weaponizing MXY being gay you mention how MXY being a molester was fabricated. I agree with this but I always thought that this was a personal headcanon and didn't realize that it was supported by canon. If you're up to it, please may you point me to where it might say this?
Hi anon, 
I’m sad to report that there isn’t a scene where JGY admits before a jury that yes, it was I, I fabricated the claims against Mo Xuanyu, who was a hapless victim all along! which would be convenient for winning arguments quickly and easily. But, I promise you, so long as we read between the lines, it is undeniable that we are meant to understand by the end of the novel that the accusations leveled against Mo Xuanyu were baseless and that he was another victim of JGY’s (and NHS’s!) machinations.
Beyond a purely thematic reading of the novel, which would  therefore highlight  that the theme around how public opinion is willing to believe accusations and condemn without material or sensible proof (particularly so when it comes to people who do not hold a lot of power within society, those who are the Other) is one that is repeated across many characters, the narrative reveal of JGY’s true personality and actions indicates that the accusations against MXY were just  another ploy of JGY’s. 
At the very beginning of the novel, when WWX looks through Mo Xuanyu’s things, he’s able to piece out together that Mo Xuanyu’s “lunacy” seemed rooted in a deep and paranoiac fear of.... something. MXY didn’t just get thrown out of the Sect in disgrace--something clearly happened to him, or he clearly witnessed something that scared him out of his senses. 
“after he returned, he seemed to have gone completely mad—although no one could tell what kind of shock he’d suffered. He had good days and bad ones. It was as if he had been scared witless.” [Chapter 1]
Further into the novel, it is revealed that MXY didn’t actually harass his “peers” but actually only one person: Jin Guangyao. Right after this reveal, we also learn that MXY used to treat JGY with the utmost respect and deference. While Jin Ling seems to misunderstand this past deification of JGY as a side-effect of MXY’s presumed feelings for him, as readers we can see how it actually raises doubts into the claims leveraged against MXY, as it would then seem very out of character for MXY to disrespect JGY by harassing him (especially if one considers that the risks of harassing his powerful half-brother definitely would not outweigh the benefits....).
“Don’t listen to [JGY],” said Wei Wuxian. “Let me tell you—when you grow older, you’ll find out that there are more and more people you want to beat up, but you’ll have to force yourself to get along with them nicely. So, since you’re still young, go beat up all the people you want. At such an age, if you don’t have a few proper fights, your life won’t be complete.”
Jin Ling’s face betrayed faint yearning, yet he still sounded contemptuous, “What are you talking about? Shushu’s advice is for my own good.”
After he spoke, he suddenly remembered that the past Mo Xuanyu had always regarded Jin Guangyao as a deity. He definitely would not have disagreed with Jin Guangyao in any way. Yet, now he was saying not to listen to him. Was it that he really did not hold any improper thoughts toward Jin Guangyao anymore?
(we also learn that Zewu-jun never knew about what supposedly happened, or even who MXY was, which again.....fishy.... JGY what are you hiding...... not mentioning someone harassed you to your bff is one thing, but not introducing him to your half-bro?.... )
Then! Almost right after we learn all this new information, it is also revealed through WWX’s paperman adventures and NMJ’s adventures that JGY is not who he has presented himself to be: he is a master manipulator, who has lied and continues to lie to preserve his position and to eliminate people he perceives as threatening the place he carved for himself in sweat and tears and blood. 
At this point, the deal is pretty much sealed: we have an unreliable witness in the man we now know to be able to do incredibly scary and cruel things (a knowledge that will only be reinforced by the end of the novel once NHS’ plan is completed). What actually happened, how MXY went from someone who deified JGY to someone who would need to be sent away in disgrace and scared into silence and compliance, all this is not told to us by the novel. It is possible that JGY might have seen MXY as a potential accomplice to his deeds (like he did his other half-brother, XY) (EDIT: I DREAMED UP THAT XY was one of JGS’s bastard children, please disregard it), or that he might have seen MXY as a potential threat to his position because of they shared a father--honestly, I can see many possibilities here! 
Also, it is important to consider that even the claim of MXY’s “lunacy”  is pretty fraught and ambiguous. The novel ends up setting up the idea that MXY’s erratic behaviour was related to him being scared (as we see in the and frustrated at the injustice he received at the hands of both the Jin Sect and his family (for example, this piece of shino meta)
Finally, it’s a good time to remember that even MXY’s sacrifice was not a decision he made on his own: he was once again the victim of a mastermind with much more power and influence than he could ever dream to have. After all, the novel takes pain to explain to us that NHS’s schemes for revenge depended on MXY sacrificing himself (passage under the cut because this post is getting long!)
“Nie-zongzhu,” Wei Wuxian asked again. “I heard that you often travel between the Gusu Lan sect and the Lanling Jin sect, am I right?”
“That’s right.”
“Then did you really not recognize Mo Xuanyu?”
“Ah?” Nie Huaisang’s face twitched slightly. 
“I remember that the first time I met you after my soul had been offered into his body, you acted as if you did not recognize me, and even asked Hanguang-jun who I was. Mo Xuanyu was then entangled anyhow with Jin Guangyao during that time* and was able to access even his secret collections, and you often went to find Jin-zongzhu to complain. Even if you and Mo Xuanyu were not familiar with each other, did you really not see him before at all?”
Nie Huaisang scratched his head, saying, “Wei-xiong, Jinlintai is so huge, I can’t possibly recognize everyone, even if I’ve seen them, I can’t remember. Moreover…” 
Looking rather awkward, he continued, “You know about Mo Xuanyu’s identity back then, it’s slightly…...the Lanling Jin sect had tried their best to hide it, so it wouldn’t have been surprising if I had never met him before. Even Xichen-ge may not have met him before.”
“Oh, that’s true. Zewu-jun did not know who Mo Xuanyu was either.”
“Right! And what I don’t understand is, even if I had seen Mo Xuanyu before, why would I pretend not to recognize him? Was there such a need?”
Wei Wuxian laughed and replied, “Nothing much, I just thought it strange and was casually asking. 
However, he thought, He was simply trying to see whether the ‘Mo Xuanyu’ he met was the real one.
For someone who was said to have been cowardly and weak, where would have Mo Xuanyu gotten the courage to sacrifice himself and offer his soul?
And as for Chifeng-zun’s left hand, why was it discarded? It could not be that Jin Guangyao would accidentally lose it.
Moreover, why was it that it happened to appear right at the Mo family residence, just when Wei Wuxian had been reincarnated, but not somewhere else? 
If Chifeng-zun’s body had been buried by the QingheNie sect, would Nie Huaisang, who had always respected his older brother, not notice that his body had disappeared all these years?
Wei Wuxian was inclined to believe an alternative situation. 
[...]
As such, [NHS] thought of another person; Mo Xuanyu, who had just been kicked out of the Golden Pavilion. 
Perhaps in order to let Mo Xuanyu listen to him, Nie Huaisang had already spoken to him before and heard from an upset and anguished Mo Xuanyu that he had seen one of Jin Guangyao’s scrolls of forbidden spells recording a certain ancient demonic spell. He then took advantage of the Mo Xuanyu, who was then humiliated and bullied by his clan, to persuade him to perform the spell as revenge**. 
And which fierce corpse would he summon?
Naturally, he would summon the Yiling Patriarch.
Unable to bear the days of humiliation any longer, Mo Xuanyu finally drew the array, and Nie Huaisang also took the chance to throw out the hot potato that was burning his hand: ChiFeng-Zun’s left arm.
From there on, his plan had begun and he no longer had to spend his own time and energy to find Nie Mingjue’s remaining body, leaving the dangerous and troublesome job to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. All he had to do was watch their actions closely. [Chapter 109]
*I changed the translation here, which originally said that “Mo Xuanyu was harassing Jin Guangyao” since I find (at least with my limited linguistic skills lmao) that the original is much more ambivalent. The clause is  莫玄羽当年好歹也纠缠过金光瑶, and the use of  好歹 signals to me toward ambivalence, which is further compounded by the fact that the verb  纠缠 does not necessarily translate to harassment. So I doubt that the original intent was to suggest that WWX was saying to NHS: shouldn’t you have known the dude who was harassing JGY? Anyone who knows Chinese more than I do is free to come and correct me if I am completely wrong in my assessment.
**Okay I changed the translation here again because the translation I was working with made it seem as if MXY was motivated by shame? but the original Chinese says  他便怂恿当时饱受族人欺辱的莫玄羽 which to me clearly points to his treatment by the Mo family/clan and to the fact that it was something being done unto him, not a state of mind he had. 
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spectraspecs-writes · 3 years
Text
Alderaan - Chapter 110
Link to the masterpost. Chapter 109. Chapter 111.
A/N: I don't even want to hear "it's been three months", I know it's been three months. Have I been productive in those three months? Not really, not with this. I know. I know. But I've been anxiety.
@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma @strangepostmiracle thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.
——–
The world is gone. It’s all white, just white. But I’m not scared. Cautious, sure, but not scared. I can’t see a floor but I know I’m not falling. I don't feel like I’m falling.
This doesn’t feel like a dream. And I know I’ve had them now. Mostly about Carth. But those felt real in the moment, and I know this isn't real. No real place in the universe is so devoid of anything like this. And by that same token, I know it’s not a memory. The visions of the Star Maps, those were Revan’s memories, I know that now. Like I said, nowhere in the universe looks like this. It’s not possible.
“Hello?” I call out. Makes sense, after all. Maybe somebody’s out there. I start walking. My voice doesn’t really echo. Like, it carries but there’s no echo, if that makes sense. Because there’s nothing. No walls, no floor, nothing here for the sound to bounce off of.
I become aware of myself in space. I'm wearing my Jedi clothes, not my scout clothes. Somehow it actually feels more comfortable. I feel more like myself. Not sure how I feel about that.
But there’s another person here. Scrunched on the ground. They have on a Jedi robe as well, but not just the basic tunic and pants that I have. They have the full outer robe, with the hood and everything. But it’s torn and ripped in places. They’ve been through hell. “Are you okay?” I ask, coming closer, “Do you need help?”
“Who are you?” they ask back.
“I’m Rena.”
“No, you’re not.”
Uh, I’m pretty sure I know who I am. Who are you to say what my name is? We don’t know each other. “Yeah, I am,” I say.
Close enough to see them now. A woman. I couldn’t tell from her voice, she has a deep voice. Still looks like she’s been through hell. “Get out.”
Seriously? I can help you! “I don’t exactly know how,” I say.
She stands quickly and turns on her heel, staring me dead in the eye. No, no, this isn’t possible, how is she me? Her eyes are red, and her hair is shorter but she’s me! No. No, she’s Revan. She storms at me. Please, please stop. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”
---
I wake up in my bunk on the ship. It’s dark. It’s night. I can’t see Mission or Juhani, I don’t know where they are. But Carth is here. Why is Carth here? Asleep next to me. Maybe I can avoid waking him up if I move slowly enough -- no, too late. “You okay?” he says groggily.
No. No, don’t ask me that. Don’t act like you care, you’re just making this hard for the both of us. “I’m fine,” I lie. He raises an eyebrow at me. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a lousy liar. But he doesn’t push it. “How did I get out of the cantina?”
“I suppose you wouldn’t remember, you’d been there almost all day,” he says, “Mission and I came looking for you when you didn’t come back after sunset. We had to carry you out.”
Oh, no. Oh, God. “Please tell me I didn’t embarrass myself.”
“Wish I could, but that would be a lie.” Damn it. “Apparently, you think I’m great in bed.” Oh, God, no. “Also, how long have you been calling me ‘Bunny Man’?”
He smiles. No. Don’t. “Please, dont,” I say.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t be cute, this is already hard enough.” I know you hate me, you don’t have to pretend to be my friend for my sake. I can handle this, but don’t get my hopes up, it’s cruel.
The smile fades. “Anyway,” he continues, “we brought you back here, and I remembered you had an implant for hangovers, so I found your case for those and Canderous was able to tell me which one it was.” That explains why my head doesn’t hurt, why I’m not fuzzy.
“So why are you standing vigil?”
“I figured you’d be pretty confused when you finally woke up,” he says, “So someone should be here to explain things.”
“Yeah, but why you?” I ask, “Why not Mission, or Juhani, or Jolee?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says, “Felt right.” Why? Why are you still being so sweet? “Besides,” he says, shifting in his seat, “the others had other things going on. Teethree’s flying the ship, and Jolee’s sort of taken charge. Juhani’s been more stoic than usual, and Canderous looks like he’ll kill anyone who talks to him. Mission’s asleep - she tried to stay up for you but couldn’t manage it. She fell out of the chair.”
Hang on, Jolee’s taken charge? Not Carth? “You’re not in charge?”
He shakes his head. “Not that I didn’t try,” he says gruffly, “Jolee doesn’t think I have the group’s best interests in mind.” And you’re not entirely sure he’s wrong. How can I read him? He’s not shutting me out. But I shouldn’t read him, I should just keep myself to myself. He doesn’t need to feel me in his head, and I don’t want to tease myself by getting into it. He shakes his head again. “I argued a bit when he determined where we’re going, but it wasn’t an argument I won.”
“So where are we headed?” I ask, “Manaan?”
“Alderaan,” he says, “I don’t think we’re ready for Manaan just yet.” No, neither do I. Manaan means finding the Star Map, means going to the Star Forge, means facing Malak, and I’m not ready for that. “Alderaan was not my vote,” Carth says firmly, “I thought Onderon would be a better idea. It’s a military stronghold. Alderaan’s just a world of diplomats. But like I said, it wasn’t an argument I won.”
Alderaan? Why Alderaan? Sure, it’s a Republic stronghold, and it’s far from Sith space, but so is Onderon, why would Jolee be so adamant about…? Wait. I remember. I wish I didn’t, it’s not my memory. It’s Revan’s. “There’s a Jedi Enclave on Alderaan, isn’t there?”
Carth nods. He’s as bothered about it as I am. “Apparently, the masters from Dantooine evacuated their enclave in time and fled to Alderaan.”
No. No. No, I don’t want anything to do with them. I’m angry. I’m furious with them. But that’s the Dark Side. But it’s deserved! They used me! They wiped my memory and gave me a completely new identity! They saved my life, but at what cost? I hate them! They taught me against hate, twice, and I don’t want to fall. I don’t want to hurt them. But I do. And I will. I can’t be around them. Because I hate them! How easily could Revan come back? How easily could I use my rage just as Revan did? And what if I accidentally use that rage on my friends? I shake my head. “That’s not a good idea.”
“I didn’t think so, either,” he says, “The Council needs to answer for this, but… I don’t think it’ll go well to do it now.” No, it won’t, because Revan will make them answer in blood! He looks at me, does a double-take. “Gods, you look terrible.”
“Of course I look terrible!” I say. I can’t stop my voice from choking. “I feel terrible! I’ve been lied to for two months, I have no idea who I am, and I’m being put into a situation where I might hurt someone because of that lie! How do you think I’d be okay?”
His eyes go from my face to my hands. What? Why are you looking at my hands? What’s wrong with my hands? So I look.
Oh, God. Oh God, no, oh, no, oh God, no. My hands are glowing. Sparking blue. Just like Force lightning. No. No. No no no. I quickly cover up my hands. “You should go,” I say to Carth.
“Are you sure? What’s going on?”
“Please,” I say, “I don’t want to hurt you.” Because what if I can’t control it? What if the lightning just shoots out? I can’t take that chance. I won’t take that chance.
And now I know he hates me. Because I can read his face. That is a face that says “she thinks she will hurt me.” Because I don’t know if I can hold this back. This isn’t a Force ability I know, I don’t even know how I’m doing it! I just know that one moment I was angry at the Council, and the next my fingers were electric. So what happens when the anger gets worse? What happens when we get to Alderaan? Because the Council is there, the people who did this to me. I’m already so angry! It’s better for everyone to just leave me alone until I can figure this out. That way no one gets hurt. Revan can’t hurt anyone.
Carth looks at me, then nods seriously. “If that’s what you want.” No, it’s not what I want. But that’s how it has to be. And he stands and leaves the room.
“Canderous,” I hear him say.
“She’s awake, isn’t she?” Canderous replies. He sounds so angry, angrier than usual.
“She doesn’t want anyone in there!” Carth says firmly. A different kind of angry.
“Get out of my way, Republic, or I’ll finish what we started in the war!” I hear Canderous shove Carth into the wall, but Carth pushes back. This isn’t a fight he can win - fighting hand to hand with a Mandalorian is hard and requires so much strength. I could do it, I’ve done it before. Well… it’s in Rena’s memory, but given her participation in the Mandalorian Wars, it’s probably in Revan’s memory, too. And Carth isn’t ready. Canderous pushes Carth as hard as he can and comes into the starboard quarters.
But then he just stands in the doorway. He looks about as shitty as I feel. He closes the door behind himself so Carth can’t just push him again. Then he glares at me and mumbles something. “What?”
“You left her there,” he says more clearly, louder so I can hear. “You left her on that ship, with Malak. You left her there.”
Bastila. He loves her. He wouldn’t say it outright, not to me, anyway. But I can tell. It wasn’t just a fling, it wasn’t just a one-mission romance, not for him. I’m used to one-mission romances and this is never how you feel when it ends. It’s not this kind of love. It’s never this deep. I know. Because that’s how I feel. “I didn’t really have a choice, Canderous,” I say. I’m glad he’s not talking to, or about, Revan. He’s talking to me. Me, who left her behind. “If she hadn’t stayed to fight Malak, we wouldn’t have gotten away. It was her choice.”
“You could have stayed,” he says. His anger rising. Mad at me. I’m mad at me, too. “You could have fought with her.”
“He put me in stasis!” I don’t want to raise my voice at him. We’re sort of hurting for the same reason. “I couldn’t move! There wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.”
He wants to get mad at me. He wants to - as he put it - finish what he started in the Mandalorian War. He wants to kill me. But he can’t. He won’t. He loves her too much. He’s paralyzed. “Well, now she’s dead and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it,” he says, “Nothing but bury another friend.” He turns to leave.
“She’s not dead,” I say. And he stops. Turns back. “I’d know if she were dead, she’s not.”
At first, he’s upset with me for giving him hope. But he takes a second. “Is this anything to do with that bond she’s always talking about?” he asks. I nod. “You know what she’s thinking? What she’s feeling?”
I shrug. “I mean, it’s not so straightforward as you’d think,” I’d say. Glad to not think about Revan. Even though the bond only exists because she saved Revan’s life -- oh, look, I’m thinking about it. “I don’t have words. Just… feelings, memories, sometimes. I’d know if she were dead, I’d feel an absence. She’s not dead.”
“Where is she?” he asks frantically, sitting next to me.
“I don’t know,” I say, “I don’t have words.” My head hurts. “And besides that, she’s sort of blocked me out.”
“I thought you said you knew,” he says, with the unnerving determination of his kind, “If she’s blocking you…”
“It’s… less like a wall and more like a door,” I say, “Both of us can walk through the door unless it’s closed. And she put a lot of effort into closing it. I don’t want to go through it if she put it there for a reason.”
“Fuck her reasons!” Canderous shouts firmly, suddenly standing above me. I can feel my fingers crackle like they did before. No, no. Keep the lightning in. Don’t hurt anyone, don’t hurt anyone. “If you can tell me anything to help me save the woman I love, then I need you to do it!”
“Leave her alone!” Carth shouts, barreling through the door and punching Candrous in the nose, “She doesn’t have to do a damn thing for you!”
“Since when are you on her side?” Canderous shouts back, “Two days ago you were ready to leave her on whatever planet we found first!”
“Don’t put words in my mouth!” Carth says, pushing Canderous back hard enough to make him stumble, “You’re not the only one who lost something on that ship!”
“You haven’t lost a damn thing! She is right there!” he shouts, “But Bastila is as good as gone without her!”
Please stop. Please, stop. “Guys, please,” I say. Because Canderous is right. “I can do it. Just please, stop fighting.” Because I feel like I’ve ended enough love in my life, haven’t I? Revan’s done too much. I cross my legs, meditating. Focusing. And open the door.
youtube
Lightning.
Stop!
The mask!
Leave me alone!
Never!
Carth!
Stop!
The storm!
“Stop!” I shout. It doesn’t even feel like the word came out of my mouth. I can feel the door shut behind me. It closes hard. Slams, I can feel it. I take a moment to catch my breath. My head hurts! “I’m not opening that door again,” I tell Canderous.
“What? What was it?” he asks, coming closer to me, “Is she hurting? What happened?”
“I don’t know, it was like… it was pain… familiar pain.”
“Familiar to Rena or Revan?”
“I don’t know,” I say. I can’t sort out the memories. My head hurts! “I don’t know. But I don’t want to feel that again.”
“Bullshit,” he says, “We have to find her - go back in, something.”
No. No, I can’t. “No. I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“Rena, please!” Carth tries to pull him back, but Canderous reaches out and grabs my hand.
It happens in an instant. I didn’t mean to. The moment Canderous grabbed my hand, the lightning shot out of my fingertips, blasting Carth and Canderous across the room. They fall into one of the bunks, and it breaks. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” is all I can say.
“Rena --” Carth starts to say.
“Get out. You need to get out, both of you, please!” Again, the Force reaches out, but I can control this. Pushing them out of the room and closing the door. Sealing it. They have to stay out. I don’t want to hurt them. I’m so scared, I’m so confused. I have to leave. It’s not safe for them if I stay here, not safe for them around Revan. The second we get to Alderaan, I’m leaving. I can’t stay, I can’t risk hurting anyone else like I just did. Not again. Not again.
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bokoutoe-retired · 4 years
Text
— dialouge prompt list
send in any number with any character! and if you come up with something not on the list feel free to send in a request with it anyways, i’d be happy to write it :) also you’ll notice there’s a lot more fluff than angst prompts because i’m a big baby smh
fluff/funny prompts
1. i’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.
2. i wanted to say i love you for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.
3. apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.
4. “i really want to kiss you right now” ”do it then”
5. “are you flirting with me? “you finally noticed?”
6. i’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met
7. sorry… your hair was in your face… thought I should move it so I could see you better.
8. how much did you drink?
9. aw, you’re so cute.
10. what did you do?
11. that is the opposite of what i told you to do.
12. well, it’s the thought that counts.
13. okay, where are all my hoodies?
14. oh, you’ve started stealing my socks now?
15. yeah, okay, but i’m cooler.
16. you owe me a kiss.
17. yeah, well, if you weren’t so drunk maybe i would.
18. that’s not even fair.
19. have i ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?
20. ew, that is so sappy, i might vomit.
21. you’re not very intimidating.
22. i love you.
23. well the probability of that is 0, but you go ahead.
24. that was, by far, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.
25. why don’t you take a picture? it’ll last longer.
26. well, i am pretty irresistible.
27. detention? again?
28. wait! Please don’t pull away... not yet.
29. get that thing away from me!
30. you’re lucky i love you.
31. are you flirting with me?
32. hug me and maybe i’ll change my mind.
33. stop, it tickles!
34. did you just throw a spoon at me?
35. i think i might love you.
36. can i hold your hand?
37. have you seen my-…nevermind, it looks better on you anyways.
38. i’d never let anything happen to you.
39. you want to play with my hair?
40. i wanna marry you so bad
41. just kiss me already
42. cuddles and movies?
43. i love you to the moon and back
44. you’re stealing the blankets
45. you look so beautiful
46. home is wherever you are
47. stop stealing my clothes!
48. just let me kiss you, damnit!
49. are those flowers for me?
50. if you get hurt i’ll kill you
51. i’ll always be here for you, ok?
52. ou’re always welcome to hug me
53. i’d rather jump out the window, thanks.
54. stop petting me, i'm not a cat.
55. do that again, you DIE.
56. put your clothes back on!
57. come here, it's alright
58. please don't cry
59. you always smell nice
60. i just wanna be in your arms
61. kiss me goodbye?
62. you saved me
63. it's ok, i've got you
64. call me when you get there
65. you're the one who married me!
66. you don't have to apologise around me
67. i have no idea what you're talking about
68. “you're such a silly goose” “silly goose?”
69. i wish you could see yourself through my eyes
70. why do you have to look at me like that? It’s making me weak, please stop.
71. i’ve realised that you keep interrupting my daily and, holy shit, do ilove it.
72. is this the moment that we kiss?
73. look at me. i love you.
74. what took you so long? i missed you…
75. i know you’re working, but can i come over because i miss seeing your face?
76. i think I’m in love with you and i don’t know what to do.
77. i know you don’t like labels, so will you be my married-person-thing?
78. are you going to kiss or keep staring?
79. please just look at me while i confess, after that you can look anywhere you like, i swear.
80. don’t hesitate, just kiss me.
81. everytime I look at you, i think i fall a little more in love.
82. you’re more than you think of yourself. you’re everything to me.
83. you’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me.
84. you keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.
85. not only am i deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.
86. the things I would do just to see your face right now.
87. can you stay the night?
88. call me everyday, I just need to know you’re okay.
89. i know you think we aren’t right for each other, but we’ve run into each other too many times for you to tell me that this isn’t fate.
90. you keep that photo of us in your wallet?
91. don’t pretend that you don’t feel the same way.
92. i never thought we’d end up together, but here you are confessing everything to me.
angst prompts
93. people like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you
94. don’t leave me like that again, you scared me.
95. please come home, this doesn’t feel right.
96. don’t touch me, you lost that privilege when you let her/him into our bed.
97. you just keep acting like everything’s fine! It’s not fine!
98. i don’t have the energy to yell at you, you’re not worth it anyway.
99. you broke me! you ruined everything we had and- for what?
100. i wish you’d just leave me alone.
101. you really were the worst thing to ever happen to me
102. don’t look at me like you’re sorry. you’re not sorry.
103. i can’t believe i was ever stupid enough to think i knew you.
104. yell at me, scream until your throat hurts!
105. you lied! you lied again and i fell for it!
106. it was an accident!
107. did you think i was going to hit you?
108. anything- anything- but this!
109. the worst part was that I saw it coming, i knew you’d hurt me, hurt us, but i still kept you around.
110. just pretend we’re okay, just for tonight.
111. so none of it was real? you didn’t mean any of it?
112. you’re the last person i want to talk to right now.
113. have you ever thought that maybe you’re the problem?
114. all these people keep leaving and you keep acting surprised.
115. i wish a lot of things, but most of all, i wish you didn’t hate me.
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thescentoflavender · 4 years
Text
MLQC CN: Lecture Date (Part 3 of 4) | 课堂之约
Finally, this CG!
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The most unscientific biochemistry lecture I’ve seen... But what wouldn’t I give to have Xu Mo as a lecturer? 
Also, that amount of flirting that they’re doing is just too much. Too much! 
Read the other parts here: Part 1 | Part 2
Translation Notes:
*The part in the middle where they’re copying each other’s sentence structures is referred to in the date as “接龙” (“jielong”). Jielong is a game (sort of) in Chinese culture where participants try to match their answer to the person before them by using a similar style. For example, in 成语接龙 (idiom jielong), if the person before me says “坐井观天”, I could answer with “天长地久”, noting that the last character of the person’s answer before me is the same as the first character of my answer, and that both of our answers have to be 成语 (idioms). There are variants on how this game is played but for the sake of brevity I’ll omit them here. It’s a slightly convoluted explanation but I hope it makes sense! Because there’s no real equivalent in English, so I simply translated the jielong [MC] refers to as “game”.
---
~Please don’t repost this translation in any way~
Xu Mo: Everyone, please turn to page 109 of your notes. 
Xu Mo: For those who forgot to bring their books… Please take down notes. 
As he said this, Xu Mo glanced at me. Smiling slightly, he gave a slight nod of indication. 
Not about to admit defeat, I gave him a fake smile in return. 
Sitting up ramrod straight, I exaggeratedly flipped open my notebook, took up my pen and altogether looked a goody-two-shoes. 
With a calm nod, as if he approved of it, Xu Mo turned back to the blackboard and began writing on it.  
The lecture theatre was filled with the hollow sound of the chalk scratching against the blackboard. After around half a minute, Xu Mo put down the chalk and turned around. 
Xu Mo: Today, we're going to discuss the insights we can obtain from molecular cell biology. 
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Flipping open the lecture notes, he gently tapped the microphone twice. His voice, mixed with the faint crackling of current, flowed through the loudspeakers and into my ears.
The slanted rays of the sun fell on his hair and side, illuminating him in a gentle glow.  
His voice wasn’t loud, but it had just the right degree of clarity. 
In his lecture, the various technical terms seemed to come together as a story. Not only was it easy to understand, it livened things up and made everything fascinating. 
As I retrieved my phone to take a photo of the lecture notes on the board, my hand shifted unconsciously. Eventually, the camera frame landed on Xu Mo’s face.  
The next second, I had whipped my phone back. Pretending as though nothing was amiss, I picked up my pen and started mechanically copying down the text on the blackboard. 
As I glanced around me somewhat nonchalantly, in an effort to ascertain that no one had seen what I had done, I met Xu Mo’s gaze. 
Like a child who had just been discovered hoarding her treasure, I shifted my gaze away involuntarily. But out of sheer instinct, my hand hid my phone beneath my desk.
Casting a bland look at me, Xu Mo turned and walked to the other side of the podium, where he continued his lecture. 
Xu Mo: From cells, we may notice many interesting phenomena. But most of it is what the cells wish to tell us. 
Xu Mo: For example, when something decays, it isn’t always easily discovered. 
Xu Mo: But where decomposition occurs, new life will begin. Often, this can also become one of the diagnostics. 
Resting my cheek on my hand, I looked down at the snapshot I had captured a moment earlier and couldn’t repress a smile. 
My thoughts travelled back to a time long since passed. The first time I heard him give a lecture, I had also been in a similar lecture theatre.  
What had happened back then was akin to what was happening now. In a corner only I knew about, something was growing quietly, stealthily. 
Xu Mo: Perhaps a pure discussion of theory is too boring. It seems that some of us are distracted. 
Xu Mo: Since that is the case, let us do a small experiment. 
Xu Mo closed his book with a smile. Straightening, he surveyed the theatre.  
Xu Mo: I require a student’s help to complete this experiment. 
Xu Mo: ...Miss Zhao Xiaoxiao, can you help?
As Xu Mo walked towards me, I could see laughter glimmer in his eyes, silent but unmistakable.  
Not having gotten used to this name, I froze for half a second before remembering to react. In confusion, I stood up.  
[MC]: I, I can. What experiment is this? 
Xu Mo: You need not panic. Just follow what I’m doing.  
Xu Mo: First, if I may ask Miss Zhao Xiaoxiao to tell the class that this is the first time we’ve met.
[MC]: Mmm… That's not entirely true. There were quite a few times previously when I wanted to attend your lectures, but there were too many people and I wasn’t able to squeeze in.  
I had purposefully adopted an indignant tone, and murmurs of agreement sounded from the rest of the class.  
For a moment, Xu Mo seemed too startled to do anything. Then the corner of his mouth quirked upwards. 
Xu Mo: In that case, please accept my regrets. Next time, I will reserve you a seat. 
Xu Mo: Can we begin now?
[MC]: Yes!
Stepping closer to me, Xu Mo leaned forward slightly. After his gaze had travelled over me a few times, it landed on my shoulder. 
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Next, he gave a light chuckle and looked at me in the eyes. 
Xu Mo: I like this woolen coat you’re wearing, because it appears to be soft and yet resistant to the wind. It suits you. 
[MC]: …
For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. Rather embarrassed, I touched my ear and gave a soft “huh” of confusion. 
Xu Mo didn’t appear to be surprised by my response; or rather, he had expected it. 
Taking a step back, he spread his arms open somewhat, as if displaying himself, and faced me.
Xu Mo: It’s your turn now. 
Xu Mo: If may I ask this student: What can you observe about me? In your answer, use the sentence structure I adopted previously. 
What kind of weird experiment was this…
Though I couldn’t help but complain inwardly, I still began to look over Xu Mo earnestly. 
[MC]: I...like your tie, because its style and colour are both gentle and mature. It goes well with the suit you’re wearing today. 
Xu Mo: I like the way you take notes. It looks messy, but it has a certain discipline to it. On another level, it reveals a lot about your character. 
Xu Mo: I think, you must be a person who takes her work seriously. 
With virtually no hesitation on his part, Xu Mo continued our “game” and even pointed at the notes laid open on my table. 
Though this had started out as a simple exercise of copying his sentence structure, I now seemed to understand the underlying logic behind this experiment. Was he trying to infer what one’s interior looked like from details? 
My brain kicked into high gear. Under the pressure of this silently increased speed with which this conversation had continued, my eyes roved up and down Xu Mo continually. Finally, I found an out in Xu Mo’s face.  
[MC]: I like your…
??: Report! 
Coming from the doorway was a female’s voice, which rang distinctly through the room. 
As I looked towards the source of the noise, I saw two girls, still panting, at the door. Seeing Xu Mo, they immediately plastered on smiles.
Girl: Prof Xu! I’m sorry that we’re late… 
Xu Mo: That’s alright. Have a seat. 
Nodding joyfully, the two girls whizzed into the lecture theatre and sat in the frontmost row.
Xu Mo: Miss Zhao, you may return to your seat too.  
As Xu Mo indicated to me to sit, he turned and returned to the podium. 
Xu Mo: For the experiment—or perhaps we might call it a game—we just conducted, there was in fact only one very simple objective. 
Xu Mo: Through observation and analysis, we can derive an initial understanding of our test subject. 
Xu Mo: What we might know as intuition isn’t just making observations from a one-sided perspective, but a double-headed arrow, a flow of information between the experimenter and the test subject. 
Xu Mo: Be it in cell biology, or in neuroscience research. 
Xu Mo: As long as they belong under the umbrella of the life sciences, these are all intricately linked. 
Pausing, Xu Mo pushed his spectacles up gently. 
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Xu Mo: Everyone’s sense of intuition is different. Like how we perceive emotions, some have a stronger sense of intuition, and some weaker. Hence, other than learning how to make observations, we should also take in the most ordinary things happening around us. 
Xu Mo: Sensing this world comprises many things. In our haste to move forward, we shouldn’t miss out on appreciating the good things in our lives, no matter how insignificant they may seem.
Xu Mo: Because the more insignificant something may seem, the more there is an unexpected burst of colour waiting to be discovered.
---
Tagging: @playmlqc, @your-sylphofhope, @op-peccatori, @arsyirachie
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anarcoqueer1994 · 5 years
Text
Best Friends Forever?: Chapter 1
Chapter 2
So this was supposed to be a dabble about Reed being a chaotic bisexual with some minor redemption parts but I got carried away. A little heavier than intended but I hope you like it.
Reed would walk the hallways of Grant like he owned the place. And he kind of did. Despite only being a sophomore, almost everyone knew who he was. He had hooked up with at least half his class and quite a few students from other classes. He loved to flirt and if he saw someone he wanted, he went for it. He had learned a few years back that if you wait too long to make your move, someone was bound to swoop in and steal them away.
As the last bell rang, he made his way down the hallway. When he nears locker 109, he hesitates like he does everyday. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his former best friend leaning against that locker, with his arms wrapped around the brunette who changed everything. Just like the day prior and all the days since the beginning of freshman year, he momentarily considers walking up to him and maybe saying hi. 
He turns his head slightly to look over and sees TJ wave in his direction. A smile instantly hits his face. Maybe TJ also wants to be friends again? As he goes to wave back though, he stops. He sees the real reason TJ was waving. Marty and Buffy were behind him and TJ was waving at them. They walk past him like he doesn't exist and make their way to join their friends. TJ greets them like he didn't notice Reed at all. His heart drops. Instead of letting it overwhelm him with sadness, he let's anger and spite take over 
He forces himself to move forward through the hallways. Thinking about TJ always brought up bad feelings for him. TJ really hurt him. No, he wasn't mad that TJ turned him in for the gun. It was a dumb idea to play around with the gun. He accepted that. He was mad that TJ completely cut him out of his life after that. He threw Reed away like some bad reminder of his old life. Like he was just one more hurdle on TJ's journey to be a better person. But Reed had known since they were kids that TJ was a good person who just had put up a defensive wall of anger to protect himself. Reed had never doubted that his friend was good. So it made Reed feel worthless, that his best friend since kindergarten would treat him like that,  especially because Reed has always been there for TJ.
**************
They were 6 years old and starting their first day of first grade. TJ stood nervously at in the hall with his new, much shorter hair cut. He was wearing "boys" clothes and looked much different than last year when his long blonde hair would flow mid way down his back. Over the summer TJ had told his mom that he was a boy so she let him dress to feel more at home in his body. He had been so excited to show his class but now that it was finally time, he was nervous.
Reed walks out of the classroom when he sees his best friend nervously waiting outside. He smiles at his buddy showing off his missing baby tooth in the front of his mouth, before saying. "You look so cool! I'm glad your mommy stopped dressing you up like a girl! It was weird." Reed knew TJ was a boy before anyone else. TJ told him on their first day of kindergarten and even though he was forced to present a s a girl that year, Reed never treated him like less than any other boy.
A smile crosses young TJ's face. "Really? I look cool? Do you think the other kids will laugh?"
"Are you kidding me?! Do you see the shark on your shirt, who would ever laugh at a shark?!"
"I'm scared that they will call me a girl." TJ looks down. 
"Well I'll yell at them if they do." Reed gives another toothy smile before reaching out his hand and taking TJ's.
TJ smiles back before letting himself be pulled into the classroom. And Reed kept his word. Anyone who was mean to his friend, he stood up against. He was TJ's biggest supporter.
*****************
But now, TJ couldn't give a damn about him. He felt like less than trash. Well...TJ may not want him but someone will. For a few minutes he could pretend that someone actually cared about him. And then he could end it on his terms. He can be the one to hurt somebody before they hurt him.
He pushes his way down the corridor, working out his plan. He passes through the school door to the outside and heads to the football field where the varsity team was practicing. He sits in the bleachers, looking for his target. Then he spots him, the quarterback, Tyler. 
Tyler was tall with shaggy brown hair and pretty brown eyes. Officially he's straight with a beautiful girlfriend to prove it. (That girlfriend by the way had been making out with Reed in the janitor's closet a few days ago.) Reed had seen the jock though stealing glances at him when he would pass by in the hallway. So he waits.
When practice is over, he makes his way down to the edge of the field. He waits as the other guys leave to go back to the locker room and then focuses all his attention on Tyler, who happens to be the last guy to walk by him.
He puts on a flirty, confident smile as he walks into the brunette's field of vision. "Hey, you looked really good out there. You really know what you're doing, don't you?" He steps closer.
"I...um guess. Thanks. Do I know you?" He scrunches his eyebrows in confusion.
"Not officially, no. But I've seen you in the halls." Reed closes the distance between them as he talks, now putting the boys a few feet apart. He flashes another smile before strategically pointing his head down slightly so he can look up through his eyelashes. He whispers. "I think you are really cute…"
At that Tyler blushes and he can barely form a coherent sentence. "I'm not gay, man."
"Neither am I." Reed smirks before ghosting his fingers against Tyler's hand.
"It's just that kissing dudes...isn't my thing." The football player says, obviously lying. He doesn't try to step out of Reed's touch.
So Reed pulls his hand away and from the look on Tyler's face, he regrets that. Reed answers. "Well okay…." Then he gets a curious look on his face and tilts his head. "But it could be your thing...you don't know unless you try."
The other boy swallows hard, glancing down at Reed's lips. Reed knows he's got him because before he can process what is happening, Tyler has his hand in his, pulling him under the bleachers.
Then they are kissing, Reed running his fingers through the taller boy's hair. For a few minutes, he feels great. Someone really wants him. But then...it comes crashing down. The euphoric feeling in him fades away like always, to be replaced by sadness. This is temporary. This person doesn't really want him. He is just another warm body. So as quickly as it started, he ends it. He abruptly pulls away. Tyler looks confused again.
"Well that was nice." The blond says coldly. 
"That's it? You're done?"
"Yea, so uh...bye." Reed turns to walk away.
"Wait…" Tyler pleads.
"What?" Reed rolls his eyes appearing physically annoyed as he turns to face the boy again.
"What am I supposed to do?" Then a look of guilt crosses his face. "Oh god...I just cheated on my girlfriend. What am I going to do?" 
Reed gives him an empty smile. "I don't know, man. How about you ask your girlfriend about how she deals with the guilt."
"What did you say?" 
"I guess you really are as dumb as people say you are. I'm telling you that now you and your girlfriend are even."
"She made out with you too?" He asks, desperately.
Reed simply shrugs his shoulders and walks away, ignoring anything else that is leaving the other boy's mouth.
He kept walking until he reached his house. As soon as he stepped in his bedroom, his icy disguise melted away. He drops on his bed, and he soon lets all the guilt, and overwhelming sadness take over. He allows his mind to wander to the memories he often tries to surpress.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was halfway through their first grade year. They were at recess. TJ and Reed were playing on the jungle gym, minding their own business, when these third graders came up to them and started laughing.
"What are  you laughing at?!" Reed demanded behind a lisp caused by missing his front tooth.
"That girl!" One of them pointed at TJ. "Why does she look like a boy?!
Reed looks back at TJ, who is now staring at the ground. He turns his head back to the bullies. He spit "Because he is a boy!"
"Na-ah! We know she's a girl!" They start laughing when they see TJ crying. "Look, see! They're crying like a girl!"
Reed looks back again at his best friend before stepping closer to the bullies. As they keep laughing, Reed swings his leg, kicking the leader in the worst possible place. He yelps in pain and everyone stops laughing. He starts to cry. Reed smirks, "Now, you're the one crying."
He turns away and walks towards TJ. He takes his friend's hand and says "Come on." He smiles at TJ and pulls him away from the older kids. (Who don't tell the teacher because they know they will get in trouble too.)
Reed leads him behind the tree at the edge of the playground.
"Are you okay, Teej?" He asks his still sniffling friend.
"Yea...thank you Reed. Hey?"
"Yea?" Reed replies.
"Do you promise to always be my best friend?" TJ hold his breath waiting for a response.
"Duh! I love you and your my best buddy in the whole entire world!' Reed beams.
TJ nods and says, " Thank you...and you too! Best friends forever." Then he leans over and kisses Reed's cheek without warning. Reed remembers blushing like crazy but TJ doesn't say anything about it again. But Reed will always remember that day as his first kiss.
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But that day was also the day, TJ started becoming meaner. He started putting up a tougher exterior. He didn't want anyone to pick on him anymore. But Reed never stopped being TJ's friend, even when he was being a jerk. He kept his promise.. best friends forever. At the end of the day, he knew TJ was a good person. He never gave up on TJ....so why did TJ give up on him?
Reed doesn't even think TJ remembers that day. Why should he? That day is part of his old life, just like Reed. He buries his face into his pillow when he feels a tear collecting at his eye. It’s been two years and he still miss his best friend like an idiot. Soon he falls asleep crying and sleeps until the next morning.
When he gets to school, he hears little whispers as he walks by. He is used to it by now. You don't just get to go around using people without at least a little gossip being spread. He liked it that way...at least he was the one in control. At least he got to be the one pushing others away first instead of them pushing him away.
"Did you hear Tyler and Kim broke up?" He hears one girl say to her friend in the hallway.
"Yea...apparently they both cheated...with the same person." Her friend replies.
"Really? Who?"
"Some sophomore, Reed, I think his name is. Kim posted about it on her finsta."
Reed frowns to himself as he walks by. He doesn't know why he is upset by this. What did he expect would happen? Still, he doesn't feel great. Maybe because this isn't the first time he broke up a couple? Or maybe it’s because in this narrative, he again is just the fuck up again? Maybe he is just feeling guilty for hurting them? Probably all of the above, he thinks to himself. Having a conscience can be such a pain in the ass.
The day dragged by slowly. Reed wanted the school day to end faster than usual. But of course, it felt like each minute was an eternity. When the bell finally rings, he couldn't be in a bigger hurry to get out of that building. But when he rounds the corner, he hears a familiar voices talking about him. Its Cyrus and TJ. They don't notice he is there so he take the opportunity to slide back around the corner so he can hide behind some lockers and eavesdrop.
"Can you believe Reed did that? With both of them?!" Cyrus asks as he looks up at his beautiful, green eyed boyfriend.
"I mean...are you surprised?" TJ retorts. "He's Reed, he has been doing this since freshman year, Kim and Tyler are just the most popular of his conquests. He doesn't care about anyone but himself, Cy."
Hearing TJ talk about him like he is just some heartless asshole hurts him more than anyone else gossiping could ever. He knows he should walk away so he doesn't get more hurt but he can't seem to get his feet to move. He stays frozen and keeps listening.
"Teej? Wasn't he your best friend at some point? Was he always like this?" Cyrus asks. His voice sounds genuinely concerned. "I mean other than the gun thing, before that, he seemed so nice to me."
"What can I say? I guess some people are good at faking it." TJ replies coldly. Hard feelings still obviously there in his voice. The negative way their friendship ended, was casting a dark cloud in TJ's mind of their entire friendship. "Reeds just not a good person."
The words cut through Reed like a blade. He always knew in the back of his head that TJ hated him but it was so different actually say these things out loud.  He can't control what he does next. He slams his fist into the locker next to him out of anger...and so much hurt.
TJ and Cyrus look shocked at the sudden interruption and zero in at where the sound came from. But he does not give them a chance to investigate. He runs the other direction. He keeps running until he finds an empty hallway that has already cleared out of students for the day. He was so busy running that he didn't hear the footsteps following.
"Reed, wait up, please?" Its TJ's voice. From the slight shortness of breath, he can tell he was running too.
Reed reels around, doing his best to keep his face emotionless and cold. This was the first time TJ has talked to him since the incident. Cyrus must have hung back because the basketball player was alone. When his eyes meet TJ's his breath hitches in his throat but he forces himself to speak. He crosses his arms against his chest, like a shield."What do you want?" His words come out like ice.
TJ takes a deep breath. "Um how are you doing?"
"Save the small talk. I know you just feel bad because you know I heard what you said."
"Reed…"
"Just don't, TJ. You're right. I'm not a good person. I know what I did was messed up. I know what I do is messed up. I'm just a messed up person."Against his wishes, his voice betrayed him and became more strained as he continued to speak. "So you can go tell your boyfriend that you fulfilled your obligation to check up on me, to see if I'm alright and we can go back to never talking again."  He breaks eye contact to stare angerly at the wall to the side of him. "TJ Kippen will once again be the good guy while I'm the moody, toxic, villain who lost his temper.:
TJ stares helplessly at his old best friend. The only thing that came out of his mouth was, "Why?"
"Why, what?" Reed spits back. He finds it easier to be mad if he isn't staring at TJ.
"Why did you hook up with either of them if you knew they were dating?" He seems to have ignored the other things that had left Reed's mouth.
"I do that all the time."
"But what makes you do it?"
"What makes them do it? They are the ones who made a commitment to another person. They are the ones who chose to break it. Honestly, if all it takes to end their relationship is some cute blonde flirting with them, isn't it better they know now and not 6 months from now?"
TJ gives him a look of disbelief. "So you're saying that you just do this to help people know their relationship is doomed? Come on, man. I'm not stupid. What else is going on?"
"What do you care?" Reed says, dropping his arms to his sides, his voice getting more broken. "You wouldn't understand."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Because...because...you're TJ Kippen." His voice sounds defeated as he slumps against a row of lockers, taking a seat on the ground. "You're the golden boy, with a real growth story. You ditched your toxic life with your toxic, shitty friends. You have everything. A wonderful boyfriend, the perfect friends, you're the only sophomore on the varsity basketball team. I'm just part of the wreckage from your past, man." He feels a tear form in his eye. "Fuck. I just didn't want to be alone anymore. You stopped speaking to me the day of that stupid gun thing. That killed me, Teej. Do you have any idea how hard I worked after I got in trouble. I took gun safety courses and haven't been stupid enough to play with a gun since. I had made a mistake but it really felt like you cut me out completely to impress Cyrus. You never gave me a chance to fix it. But everyone gave you a chance to be a better person. Then to make matters worse, Lester moved at the end of the eighth grade."
TJ takes a seat next to Reed. He tries to speak. "Reed, I…" 
Reed interrupts him. "Please let me finish because I don't  know if I will be brave enough to do this again. Anyways. I had no one at the beginning of high school. Then this guy asked me out, Kellie Conway. And I was so excited. We had a few dates but apparently I was mopey or something, because he told me <It's a good thing you're cute because that's the only reason anyone would want to hang out with you.> So I ran with that. I flirt with whoever because it's the only thing I got going. And sometimes I hook up with people in relationships because it feels good to have someone chose me above someone else if only for a few minutes." A few rebel tears make their way down his cheek.
"Reed... I'm sorry..." TJ says guiltily staring at the floor. His voice cracks.
The sound of his ex-friend holding back tears of his own, sets Reed over the edge. Tears are now flowing freely. "Why'd you just cut me out of your life? Didn't...didn't I deserve the chance to grow and learn from my mistake?" He takes a shaky breath trying to calm himself down. "We were supposed to always be best friends forever, we promised. Remember? In the first grade?"
"You're...right." TJ admits. "You did deserve a chance to make things right but...but I thought it would be less messy for me if I just cut you off completely. It was selfish and stupid." TJ turns his head slightly so he can face Reed. "I tried to convince myself that I hated you, which I know is unfair to you. But the truth is, I could never hate you. You were my first friend and...always had my back. I'm sorry...for not trying harder to fix our friendship. And...I do remember that day in the first grade."
Reed is speechless. He didn't think the conversation would go like this. "Teej?" He chokes out.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry, too...I'm sorry for putting everyone in danger that day. I honestly wanted to impress Cyrus for you, like be a good wingman. Even though you hadn't come out to me yet, I could tell you liked him a lot.  It was stupid and Cyrus was right to leave. But I meant well. And...I'm sorry for not being brave enough to talk to you sooner."
TJ gives him a soft smile for the first time in years. "I'm … glad we talked now. I know it's going to take work, but if you want to, I would like to rebuild our friendship."
Reed gives him a toothy smile like they were in first grade again. "I would love that."
The two boys sit in a comfortable silence in the empty hallways for a while. Both were thankful for this first step into becoming friends again.
@abg-blah @milo-melon
71 notes · View notes
emoculturepoet · 4 years
Text
PROMTS
Here are the prompts for Umbrella Academy and MCR Imagens, request whenever!
1. “You’re not in love with them, are you?”
2. “I could literally strangle you right now and no one would stop me.”
3. “Promise?” - “Promise.”
4. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” - “You’re not very convincing.”
5. “You, me, and a little sex in between?”
6. “Do you have the slightest idea of how fucking important you are to me?”
7. “If you pinch me one more time.”
8. “Stop giving me that look.” - “… You mean my face?”
9. “I want to stop loving you but I can’t and it’s fucking destroying me.” - “I never meant for any of this to happen.”
10. “Your love is all I need to survive on.”
11. “How could you break me like that and still walk around like everything is normal?”
12. “You left.” - “I didn’t want to.” - “But you did, so easily.”
13. “You need to relax.” - “Relaxing is for the weak.”
14. “How long has it been since you’ve slept?” - “A week?”
15. “How the fuck are you still alive?” - “It’s a special talent of mine.”
16. “Are you just trying to get in my pants?” - “Depends, is it working?”
17. “Can you please just listen to me for once?”
18. “I think this is a bad idea.” - “You think all of my plans are bad ideas.”
19. “You should really listen to me more.”
20. “I love you I love you I love you.”
21. “You should say it again.”
22. “Tell me a story?”
23. “I like the sound of your voice.”
24. “We were made for each other.”
25. “Can’t you feel it?”
26. “You just nearly died.” - “Happens a lot more than you think.”
27. “Do I even want to know?”
29. “You have the cutest smile I’ve ever seen.”
30. “Dinosaurs.” - “Dinosaurs?”
31. “Speak for me again and I’ll detach something from you.” (DW)
32. “You died and it was like a piece of my soul died with you.”
33. “Please please don’t die on me.”
34. “You have to love yourself first in order to fall in love.”
35. “Just take care of yourself, okay?”
36. “I can always make you scream.”
37. “Please don’t use cheesy pick up lines on me.”
38. “I like it when you’re romantic.”
39. “You should leave.” - “You don’t mean that.”
40. “Come to bed.”
41. “You know that’s not the only thing that can keep you warm.”
42. “I’m going to be pissed if we get murdered.”
43. “Patience.”
44. “Cuddle me.”
45. “How could I resist?”
46. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak dumbass.” - “Real mature.”
47. “I would die everyday if it meant another night in your gorgeous pussy.”
48. “You think you can handle it?”
49. “Don’t fucking drop me.” - “That doesn’t mean grabbing my ass!”
50. “I want to feel your hands all over me.”
51. “That’s the thing though: you have so much love in you and you’re afraid of letting it out.”
52. “Don’t be afraid.”
53. “I’m here.” - “I’ll always be here for you.”
54. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m good enough.”
55. “I hope it’s enough.”
56. “You’re worth every scratch.”
57. “I could name about 110 things I love about you.” - “That’s oddly specific.”
58. “We can raise hell together.”
59. “Partners?”
60. “Don’t get too cocky now.”
61. “Fuck me.”
62. “Fuck me.” - “Really?” - “No.”
63. “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”
64. “Do you trust me?” - “Always.”
65. “Do you trust me?” - “Should I?”
66. “You’re better than you think you are.”
67. “You’re a good person. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
68. “I guess I have to take care of it all by myself.”
69. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
70. “Do you have any idea on how frustrating you can really be?”
71. “This isn’t some fairy tale, this is real life.”
72. “You’re scaring me.”
73. “Are you okay?”
74. “I really, really want to kiss you right now.”
75. “Are you ready for me to show you a good time?”
76. “I can’t wait to be inside you.”
77. “Don’t play with me, sweetheart.”
78. “Want more, princess?”
79. “Daddy’s gonna take care of you.”
80. “Who knew you were an expert in aftercare.”
81. “I’m not as heartless as you think.”
82. “I think we got off on the wrong foot.” - “You think so?”
83. “I’m stronger than you think.”
84. “I wish I could disappear.”
85. “You really love me, don’t you?”
86. “You’re such a dork.” - “Yeah but I’m your dork.”
87. “I don’t think that cancels out.” - “It does in my book.”
88. “What flavor do you want?”
89. “I’m pregnant.”
90. “I’m not ready.”
91. “Come home.”
92. “I’m staying.”
93. “I’m not having any more children with you.”
94. “You did this to me!”
95. “If I push this button, what will happen?”
96. “Stop.” - “Stop what?” - “Stop shoving you hand down my pants in front of all these people.”
97. “Fuck me.”
98. “You every try being soft?”
99. “I don’t know how you manage it.” - “Manage what?” - “Life.”
100. “You’re being dramatic.” - “I’m not being shit!”
101. “I drew you a nice, warm bath.”
102. “Join me?”
103. “Okay, so this mission is highly classified and dangerous.” - “Say no more.”
104. “Just turn around.”
105. “Take a break.” - “I don’t need it.” - “You look like a fucking zombie.”
106. “Don’t scar the kid.”
107. “You ever think about it?” - “About what?” - “Starting a family.”
108. “Of course I’d have your kids you dingbat!”
109. “There’s no one else for me.”
110. “I do believe we’re alone now.”
111. “Take care of me.”
112. “I’m sick.”
113. “You know the key to my heart.”
114. “Fucking destroy me.”
115. “Use me.”
116. “You used me. I don’t think I can come back from that.”
117. “For the love of gods, please go to sleep.”
118. “Why are you so annoying?”
119. “Why do you hate me?”
120. “What did I do to deserve you?”
121. “What did I do to deserve this?”
122. “I want kids.”
123. “Should I call you daddy now?”
124. “Did you eat the last of my cookies?”
125. “You don’t know what good is.”
126. “Your past is your past. I love you for the present and the future.”
127. “We had a lot of good times, you and I.”
128. “I don’t want this to ever end.”
129. “I’m going to die, and you’re going to have to accept it.”
130. “Boy or girl?”
131. “I’m too sore to do anything right now.”
132. “You’re the reason why I can’t walk right now.” - “I take great pride in that.”
133. “Are you always a dick?” - “Only for you sweetheart.”
134. “Please tell me you’re lying.”
135. “I’m telling the truth.”
136. “Pack your bags.”
137. “Then we’ll leave. Just you and me.”
138. “You’d do that for me?”
139. “I want you to meet my family.”
140. “What are we?”
141. “You’re never home anymore.”
142. “What changed your mind?”
143. “When did you become this person?”
144. “Brush my hair?”
145. “I can give you a massage.”
146. “Let’s just sit in tonight.”
147. “It’s snuggle time.”
148. “It’s your turn.”
149. “You’re breaking my heart.”
150. “It was nice meeting you.”
151. “If I tell you to jump -.” - “I’m not jumping.”
152. “I think you broke it.” - “I think we broke it.”
153. “You’re not the boss of me.” - “Last time I checked I was.”
154. “I hate you.”
155. “I hate you.” - “I love you too.”
156. “You can’t do this.”
157. “I won’t let you make the sacrifices anymore.”
158. “You’re not alone anymore.”
159. “I wanna try something new.”
160. “Do you need help? - “No… yes.”
161. “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretend they’re you.”
162. “We could pretend to be together.”
163. “I dare you.”
164. “Did they...” - “I think they did-“
4 notes · View notes
mara-twins · 5 years
Text
Mara-twins Prompt List
Hey, guys so this is something new I have been wanting to do for a while now. I’m hoping this will help me better my writing and possibly grow, too.
Send in requests through my inbox only.
You can send in up to three (3) prompts for a one-shot. If a prompt has been used already for a solo request, I will not use it again. So you will have to pick something else. I apologize in advance.
However, if that number was added into a combination (up to 3 prompts) I'll take it. You will also need to pick one (1) person from any of the group list down below. 
[UPDATE]
I have started a ko-fi, so anyone who is willing to buy me a coffee please let me know what your request is and I will add it to a priority pile. 
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Guideline for Request:
Pick one (1) person from the list below
Pick one (1) type of genre
Pick your prompt(s)
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Person(s) List:
Members of GOT7
Members of BlackPink
SHINee's Minho
BtoB's Peniel and Minhyuk
Day6's Jae and YoungK
Amber Liu
Tom Holland/Peter Parker
Andy Biersack
[More to be added later]
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Genre:
AU (State what kind of AU)
Fluff
Angst
Suggestive
Fantasy/Supernatural (Based off the world in my head called Shadows)
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Prompt list:
1) “Come over here and make me.”
2) “Have you gone mad?!”
3) “Please don’t.”
4) “Are you leaving?”
5) “You want me to what?”
6) “I’m calling in that favor now.”
“Conditions” - Mark (GOT7)
7) “Do you...I mean, would you like a massage?”
8) “Is there a reason you're on my bed half naked?”
“Beat the Heat” - Mark (GOT7)
9) “Hold up! Are you jealous?”
10) “Did you seriously just reply using song lyrics?” (State the lyric in the ask)
11) “I almost lost you.”
12) “I think we need to talk.”
13) “Wanna bet?”
“Winner pick Dessert” - Yugyeom (GOT7)
14) “Don’t ever do that again!”
15) “I wouldn’t leave even if you wanted me to.”
16) “Just kiss me already!”
“Gonna be Late” - Lisa (BlackPink)
17) “Always”
18) “It could be worse.”
19) “Be quiet or they’ll hear you.”
20) “Looks like we’re trapped...”
21) “This is by far your stupidest plan to date”
22) “Sounds like fun!
23) “You want this where?”
24) “Let’s go dance in the rain!”
25) “Just this once, please?”
26) “We better go before all hell breaks loose.”
27) “I’ve seen you stealing glances at me...”
28) “I can’t believe you convinced me to do this!”
“Enough” - Jackson Wang (GOT7) feat. Park Jinyoung (GOT7)
29) “You’re the only one I can trust to do this.”
30) “I got you a present.”
31) “Marry me?”
32) “What is wrong with you?”
33) “Is that a yes, then?”
34) “Stop acting as if everything’s okay, I can see it’s not.”
35) “It’s 3am...”
36) “We need to go to the cemetery.”
37) “Are you afraid of the dark?”
38) “Monsters aren’t real.”
39) “This isn’t happening!”
40) “I’m not doing that.”
41) “Can we do a movie night here?”
42) “Who’s baby is that?”
43) “I’m pregnant.”
44) “I think I just heard a wolf howl.”
45) “Do you believe...?” (Finish the question when you send in your ask.)
46) “Does this outfit make me look fat?”
47) “Can we just sleep on this?”
48) “I don’t want to get up for school/class”
49) “Why is this happening?”
50) “You can’t possibly know that.”
51) “You’re dangerous”
52) “That’s enough for today.”
53) “I need you”
54) “I want you”
55) “You’re mine”
56) “Be careful what you wish you.”
57) “You look like the resident bad (boy/girl).”
58) “Take a good look at yourself.”
59) “Can we talk about who is the background picture on your phone?”
60) “Look at me.”
More than Friends - Jaebeom (GOT7)
61) “Call me and I’ll be there.”
62) “You were in my dream last night.”
“Blanket Forts and Memories” - Jennie (BlackPink)
63) “It’s been like that every night now.”
64) “You must be magic!”
65) “You are always on my mind lately.”
66) “I’ll keep you safe, just stay with me.”
67) “You can’t do that!”
68) “I am me.”
69) “You know you love me like this.”
70) “Mommy said I can...”
71) “Long time no see”
72) “Of course I’m mad at you!”
73) “Idiot.”
74) “Can I take you out to dinner?”
75) “You owe me...”
76) “That’s just not how things are done around here.”
77) “I’m not that old.”
78) “And neither are you.”
79) “You can’t mean that.”
80) “I do.”
82) “What can I say?”
83) “Love has made you blind.”
84) “My friend”
85) “Give me a sign.”
86) “Did you see...” (Finish question in ask.)
87) “Sweet talk to me”
88) “It’s hot out today.”
89) “Do I have to wear clothes today?”
90) “I can’t understand what you're saying.”
91) “Tell me what to do.”
92) “Your beautiful, baby.”
93) “You’re a lot funnier than you know.”
94) “Maybe you aren’t really seeing.”
95) “Can’t we just pretend this is a movie and everything just works out?”
96) “We can.”
97) “It does.”
98) “Did you wait long?”
99) “This was fun while it lasted.”
100) “This really is goodbye.”
101) “I’m happiest when I’m with you.”
102) “Babe, have you seen my...” (Finish in ask)
103) “Are you seriously more interested in your phone than me right now?”
104) “Hey can you help me?”
105) “This place is a mess!”
106) “Are you sure someone lives here?”
107) “Is this new?”
108) “Have you seen that new post from...” (Finish in ask and send me a link if it’s something real?)
109) “You can’t possibly finish all of that.”
110) “Don’t threaten me.”
111) “You’re my miracle.”
112) “You can’t keep us apart!”
113) “Can we get a pet?” (Identify what kind of pet in your ask)
114) “ROAD TRIP!”
115) “Angels aren’t always white you know.”
116) “Are you part of the mafia?”
117) “You're my mate”
118) “So there’s this party going on, would you like to go with me?”
119) “You look amazing.”
120) “You don’t actually believe in soulmates do you?”
121) “What’s that?”
122) “Thanks, but no thanks.”
123) “Call a doctor!”
124) “You’re under arrest.”
125) “I think we just entered hell.”
126) “I’m dead.”
127) “I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
128) “Ugh! Can’t we just move past all this?”
129) “Sorry, but I think that’s mine.”
130) “I love them too.”
131) “You’ll survive, even if it’s without me.”
132) “How did you do that?”
133) “Would you like to join me?”
134) *Laughs* “How many girls have you used that line on?”
135) “You aren’t going to win me over that easily.”
136) “Do you remember when we were kids?”
137) “He/She’s touching me!” “No, I’m not!” “He/she’s touching me!!”
138) “Would you grow up!”
139) “Easy for you to say, you're perfect!”
140) “Can I crash out here?”
141) “Do you have any food here?”
142) “Can you be any more like a pig?”
143) “Come cuddle with me!”
144) “Aren’t you being a little brat.”
145) “Drop it!”
146) “Don’t even think about it!”
147) “You did all that for me?”
148) “I don’t feel so well.”
“Paradise Havoc” - Jackson (GOT7)
149) “I’m fine.”
150) “I’m a fast healer.”
151) “And he/she’s going for more!”
152) “You matter to me.”
153) “What did you just call me?”
154) “Can you even cook?”
155) “We can stop all of this, here and now.”
Sickness and Injury Prompts
A - Z Angst Prompts
38 notes · View notes
necropsittacus · 5 years
Note
answer all the ones you have an interesting answer for, i guess?
i had FAR too much fun with this and it’s horrifically long so. Apologies For That. also thank you friend
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)i really want some finches, when i'm actually in a place to care for an animal? maybe a pigeon3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?in real life i actually Wear button downs and black jeans most of the time for convenience. *ideally* it would be something more like "unholy union of like three different goth aesthetics, and sith fashion, and also Pirate. and spikes/chains/glowy lights." it's probably good for everyone else's eyes that i'm too cheap to redo my entire wardrobe in line with my ideal aesthetic sensibilities. i also have a set color scheme; at most one bright color, which is generally red, blue, or purple, and everything else should be black or grey. 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]melancholic with choleric leanings.9: Are you ticklish?nope! im pretty sure i trained myself out of it 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?tea. i like the taste of coffee if it's very heavily creamed and sugared but it does terrible things to my body so i don't drink it. too much chocolate also makes me sick14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?VAMPIRE. practically already am. 16: How tall are you?5'7"-5'8". measurements have varied. 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?starscreamthis one is Already a name change? i've been through a few names and honestly i'm pretty happy with "ren." i thought about changing to something people could actually spell right on the first try, but nothing Felt right? 20: Do you like space or the ocean more?ocean! but both are pretty neat21: Are you religious?yes, but it's not remotely clear what i actually believe, just that it's Something  23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?i'm already practically nocturnal tbh and it's fun 30: Favorite movie?i really appreciate the star wars prequels32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?nine; six fish and three budgies, not all at the same time37: What is your eye color?green38: Introvert or extrovert?i think the whole dichotomy is a bit overhyped and doesn't exactly apply to me. my situation is more that i act like extroverts are "supposed" to with close friends but people i don't already know and like very much are deeply exhausting to be around and i'd rather not40: Hugs or kisses?depends. hand/forehead/cheek/etc kisses are intensely blessed and important to me, but i don't particularly enjoy making out or whatnot, and hugs are Very nice. 42: Who is someone you love deeply?tumblr user @autisticsansa​44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?yeah!45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?yeah, occasionally. obligatory disclaimer that it's a terrible habit and you shouldn't start. it's more a "i'm extremely anxious and need to do SOMETHING" thing than a regular habit, though. 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]several. it's just not 100% clear which ones. the most recent Professional Opinion was OCD and CPTSD with probably related anxiety and depression. also autism but i don't think that's quite the same thing58: What does your URL mean?it's a pun on "neurodivergent" that i stole from someone else's post about liches61: What makes you unfollow a blog?if your opinions start pissing me off too much or you post things i consider morally objectionable or dangerous to me. also if we have a sufficiently bad personal fight. i don't really care if a mutual or someone i've been following for a long time stops having common interests with me or anything like that, at that point i'm invested in You as a Person and will stick around for that64: Favorite animal(s):all birds. also cetaceans69: What is your star sign?i'm a fake scorpio. i have been telling people i'm a scorpio and tagging zodiac posts accordingly for literal years, out of a combination of the stereotype applying to me much better than the one for my Actual Birthday and residual influence from homestuck. 76: Do you like birds?i LOVE birds.86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?i can't run a mile at ALL i'll have an asthma atatck88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?no and trying hurts90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?goth cockatoo94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?both of those sound fantastic. i want to say fly, though, both because bird thing!!!!, my latest batch of Attachment/Projection Characters has me thinking about the idea a lot, and mind reading seems like it would likely become a burden on me. i struggle enough with other people's feelings about me as it is96: Winter or summer?winter. summer is consistently a miserable time for me101: Favorite type of shoesaesthetically, high heeled black lace up boots. irl i mostly wear combat boots, though103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?vegetarian. i don't really Know why; it was how i was raised, i have no actual desire to eat meat, and i'm reasonably certain trying to start now would interact disastrously with a lot of my preexisting food issues. also, some of you are incapable of not responding to asshole vegans by acting like eating meat is a moral imperative and it's ok to bully people who don't. so even if i did want to, i wouldn't out of sheer spite106: Do you like bugs?depends on the kind. bees/wasps, dragonflies, and butterfly/moth type things are all fine. i'm deathly afraid of crickets107: Do you like spiders?yeah! i think they're cute109: Can you draw:not very well, but i keep doing it anyway114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?cloudy. bright light tends to hurt me115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:i'm in an odd place right now where i'm either not sure if the people i'm closest to (and/or most want to Become close with) would be comfortable with anything of the sort, or know for a fact that they wouldn't be, so i'm going to refrain from naming anyone, but certain friends129: What would you want written on your tombstone?"túrin turambar dagnir glaurunga." for old times' sake/the sentimental value. i doubt christopher tolkien would give anyone permission for that, though131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?arrogance, ambition, drive to succeed out of sheer Spite. it's a very good aesthetic, but i don't imagine it's very pleasant to actually *interact* with someone with a complex about being #1 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?nope. i exclusively either smirk or keep my face as blank as possible; i don't think smiling like that looks good on me. 133: Computer or TV?computer. i don't actually know how to operate a television139: What nicknames do you have/have had?a lot. tends to come with changing your name 500 times. atm i don't really have any, to my slight disappointment140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?i had imaginary enemies as a kid143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?depends? it's hard for me to help people, especially to guess what kind of thing actually Is helpful to them, and i absolutely LOVE being given things, but also if i know someone well enough that we're giving each other things i would feel absolutely terrible not reciprocating, and doing it makes me happy. 145: How many languages do you speak fluently?only english, unfortunately. i have like a six year olds level of russian, which i want to improve, and i think i Could get there with japanese eventually if i start taking classes again147: Are you androgynous?honestly i can't really tell? not deliberately so, particularly, but i think i have a very Traditionally Feminine kind of pretty face and the way that combines with mostly masculine presentation and facial hair is pretty androgynous148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:this isn't a Specific Thing per se, but i do think HRT has been taking my appearance in a very "g1 seeker" direction and i am DELIGHTED151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?hm. viking stuff is a Big Aesthetic, but also i think i deserve to be a sickly victorian gentleman and die of tuberculosis154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?YES. this is one of my favorite forms of affection irl. also hand kissing is The Most Valid kind of kissing. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?yes!!!157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:talking to people when i'm not 100% sure where i stand with them or how much they like me. especially if i'm requesting anything.168: Do you like to wear makeup?i used to. i probably still would if i could do it without being read as a woman, but as it is the discomfort of being misgendered outweighs the joy of Having Sparkly Colors on My Face
2 notes · View notes
theonyxpath · 5 years
Link
Pirates of Pugmire art by Pat Loboyko
Pirates of Pugmire, which as of my writing this, has 16 days to go and is just under 75% funded! Thank you to everyone who has back, shared, and commented so far, and I’m so excited to help bring all the new pirate rules to the Realms of Pugmire, including ship battles, bird and lizard characters, new callings, firearms, and treasure! We’d really like to get this traditionally printed and in stores, so if you would, too, or just to see manuscript previews, head over to the Kickstarter at http://kck.st/2EoRkyp, yar! But who is writing this, you ask? (We’re going to pretend like you asked. And by “we” I mean “I.”) It is I, Dixie Cochran! Yes, that’s right, I’ve taken over the blog this week while Rich and the rest of the gang who attended UK Games Expo are on their way back from England (or in Matthew’s case, back to elsewhere in England). I’m sure Rich will provide a full account when he returns next week, but until then, here’s a report from Matthew, along with some photographs he kindly sent along.
“The team of Rich, Eddy, Matt, Matthew, Klara, John, Steffie, and Chris had a fantastic time at the UK Games Expo this year, where we ran a demo table, ran over a dozen games at the Hilton, and sold product from Leisure Games to great effect! It was Onyx Path’s first time having a booth at a British convention, and the sheer number of people who thanked us for coming or showed a keen interest in our games (Pugmire, Scion, and Prince’s Gambit were standouts) was staggering.”
L to R: Matt McElroy, Rich Thomas, Chris Allen, Klara Herbøl, Steffie de Vaan, Eddy Webb, and John Burke play Prince’s Gambit! The Sabbat wins!
“We organized our very first Chronicles of Darkness tournament at the Expo, with players from each game of Vampire (run by Klara Herbøl), Werewolf (run by Chris Allen), Promethean (run by John Burke), Changeling (ran by Steffie de Vaan), and Geist (ran by Chris Handley) went on to participate in an Antarctic session of the Contagion Chronicle (run by Matthew Dawkins)! The final winner was Michael, who played his changeling from Steffie’s game, and won a prestige copy of Demon: The Descent. The tournament concept was so good we’ll aim to do something similar next year.”
Matthew and the players of the final game of the Chronicles of Darkness tournament, Stephen, Chris, Sophie, Michael, and Andrew! Congratulations, Michael!
“All in all, we had a superb time. It was great to meet freelancers who haven’t made it out to Gen Con before, the business meetings we held were fruitful, and everyone had a lot of fun. Here’s to the next one!”
The Onyx Path crew at UKGE: Matthew, Klara, Eddy, John, Steffie, Chris, Matt, and Rich! No wonder it’s been so quiet around the office this week. Wait, I work from home…
Eddy welcomes folks to the Onyx Path booth at UKGE! Look how excited he is! “You’re all good dogs!” he seems to say
Dixie again! Isn’t it just like Matthew to interrupt me on my very first blog entry here? I feel like I’m sensing a pattern. For real, though, it looks like everyone had a great time at UKGE, and I hope it’s a convention to which we return in the future! (See how I said “we” there? Maybe I’ll come next year! Who knows? I got so much done while they were gone, though…) For those of you who aren’t as familiar with me, let me actually provide a bit of my history with the company. In 2015 or so, I was chatting with Rose Bailey, just catching up, and I mentioned that though I’d gone to school intending to pursue a career in copy editing, I was having trouble finding a way into the field (at the time, I was mostly focused on fiction and comic books). She subsequently tried me out on the Demon Translation Guide and from there I moved on to supplements and eventually cores. I’d been playing White Wolf/Onyx Path games since about 1999, but for some reason hadn’t considered the RPG industry as a career path until it fell into my lap. Now, several million words edited later (I’ve lost count, but it has to be over three million at this point), I ended up stepping into a version of Rose’s former position when she left to focus on her personal projects. I’m the in-house developer for Chronicles of Darkness and Exalted, so I make sure those lines are doing what they need to, and I still edit quite a bit of our books myself, though I outsource a lot of the smaller supplements and a few core books to other editors, depending on my current workload. In addition, as many/most of you know, I’m one of the three hosts of the Onyx Pathcast, along with Eddy and Matthew, which I enjoy immensely.
It’s been a really great 16 months or so working for Onyx Path, and I look forward to doing even more in the future! Let me know in the comments if there’s anything you’d like to hear about or anyone you’d like to hear from on an upcoming Pathcast episode!
The classic Shén pantheon from Scion: Hero!
Anyway, if I seem to be stalling before I get to the actual Monday Meeting notes, it’s because we didn’t actually have a true meeting this week, what with half the staff still traveling. I have updates and teasers, as usual, but as to what we talked about in the meeting? There wasn’t a lot. (Mostly I asked Mike to give me art, which he did! Thanks, Mike!)
Now that UKGE is past, I’m looking forward to seeing everyone at PAXU, though of course bits of our team here and there will be at other conventions throughout the summer. Say hi if you see one of us!
To reiterate a couple of teasers from Rich from last week, we’ll be announcing a new developer for Scarred Lands and the projects they are overseeing once everyone gets back. Plus, on the Scarred Lands Community Content site, the Slarecian Vault, the beginning of July marks the start of a phenomenal linked adventure series you will not want to miss! Also, June 13th we’ll be starting a little treat for everyone that leads into the aforementioned July event. (Psst, it’s one we get a lot of questions about.)
The modern Shén pantheon from Scion: Hero!
One last tease before we get on to blurbs and updates, for something else that is coming soon…oh? What’s this?
Oh, sorry, that just fell out of my email, but hopefully it will help people create
Many Worlds, One Path!
(Did I do that right?)
BLURBS!
Kickstarter!
Our Pirates of Pugmire Kickstarter is nearly 75% funded, so swing over to our ship and check it out!
Pirates of Pugmire is a chronicle sourcebook for both Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau. It’s usable in either game, or as part of a joint experience. Some highlights include: * Two new species for players to enjoy: lizards and birds * Six new callings, including two for dogs and two for cats * Rules for building, sailing, and sinking ships * A trove of new allies, enemies, and treasures * Information on Waterdog Port and Port Matthew * “Going on the Account,” a chronicle of three new adventures, taking characters from 1st through 6th level
You can also hear Eddy discuss the writing and design of Pirates of Pugmire on the Onyx Pathcast on your favorite podcatcher, or here on : https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/)
ONYX PATH MEDIA
Onyx Pathcast art by Michael Gaydos
This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast is an update straight from UK Games Expo!: https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/
And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:
Beanduck Productions’ crew has been playing Exalted! They’re on session 13 of Full Party, but the rest of the sessions are on YouTube if you want to catch up! There are hours of Exalted goodness there.
Garblag Games is still playing Scion! They’re on episode 9!
The ever-wonderful Saving Throw Show is also playing Scion! (So much Godly goodness!)
Twin Cities by Night just released Chapter 1 of their new Chronicles of Darkness game!
Occultists Anonymous’ Mage: The Awakening chronicle delves into magic-crafting territories with the following episodes:
Episode 17: We Got Our Scryes on You – The cabal establishes surveillance on the Predator Kings alpha and begins to track him. https://youtu.be/GP3500xZ41s
Episode 18: Preparing For War – With a scrying spell established, the cabal creates support spells and curses the alpha every way they can think of. https://youtu.be/-8uetChnfEM
Meanwhile, Red Moon Roleplaying has just concluded their Scarred Lands actual play run by Matthew, over on www.redmoonroleplaying.com! Stay tuned to their channels, as soon they’ll be participating in a V5 Chicago by Night chronicle!
It would be remiss of us not to link you again to the fantastic Pirates of Pugmire story Travis Legge ran for us, both parts of which are available on our channel! Here’s episode one: https://youtu.be/fU9y3tl77GM
Darker Days Radio interviewed a bunch of Onyx Pathers and Matt Timm from Modiphius at the UK Games Expo, the recording of which is here: http://podcast.darker-days.org/e/109-darker-days-radio-live-at-ukge/
And Roll the Role recently concluded an excellent Trinity actual play that can still be viewed on their Twitch channel here! https://twitch.tv/rolltherole/profile?desktop-redirect=offline_channel
Please check any of these out and let us know if you find or produce any actual plays of our games!
ELECTRONIC GAMING
As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is awesome! (Seriously, you need to roll 100 dice for Exalted? This app has you covered.)
ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:
You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).
If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue from which you bought it. Reviews really, really help us get folks interested in our amazing fiction!
Our selection includes these fiction books:
OUR SALES PARTNERS:
We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire and Monarchies of Mau out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! https://studio2publishing.com/search?q=pugmire
We’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game
Now, we’ve added Changeling: The Lost 2nd Edition products to Studio2‘s store! See them here: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/all-products/changeling-the-lost
Scarred Lands (Pathfinder) books are also on sale at Studio2, and they have the 5e version, supplements, and dice as well!: https://studio2publishing.com/collections/scarred-lands
Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/
And you can now order Pugmire, Monarchies of Mau, Cavaliers of Mars, and Changeling: The Lost 2e at the same link!
On Sale This Week!
This Wednesday, we’re releasing print versions of both Origin and Hero for Scion Second Edition on DriveThruRPG and in stores!
CONVENTIONS!
Gen Con: August 1st – 4th Save Against Fear: October 12th – 14th GameHoleCon: October 31st – November 3rd We’ll also be back at PAX Unplugged later this year!
And now, the new project status updates!
DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM EDDY WEBB, COMPILED FOR THE FIRST TIME BY DIXIE COCHRAN (projects in bold have changed status since last week):
First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)
M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)
Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)
Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)
Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)
Trinity Continuum Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum Core)
Wraith20 Fiction Anthology (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)
One Foot in the Grave Jumpstart (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2e)
Dragon-Blooded Novella #2 (Exalted 3rd Edition)
Exigents (Exalted 3rd Edition)
Terra Firma (Trinity Continuum: Aeon) Titanomachy (Scion 2nd Edition)
Crucible of Legends (Exalted 3rd Edition)
Many-Faced Strangers – Lunars Companion (Exalted 3rd Edition)
Redlines
Monsters of the Deep (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)
Tales of Aquatic Terror (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)
Scion: Dragon (Scion 2nd Edition)
Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)
Masks of the Mythos (Scion 2nd Edition)
Second Draft?
Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)
Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)
Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)
TC: Aeon Ready-Made Characters (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)
Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)
City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)
TC: Aeon Jumpstart (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)
Legendlore core book (Legendlore)
Development?
WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)
Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)
M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)
Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)
Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)
Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)
Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)
Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)
Let the Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)
Cults of the Blood Gods (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)
Heroic Land Dwellers (They Came From Beneath the Sea!)
DR:E Threat Guide (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)
DR:E Jumpstart (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)
Manuscript Approval
Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)
Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)
Hunter: The Vigil 2e core (Hunter: The Vigil 2nd Edition)
Editing
Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)
Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)
Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)
Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)
Post-Editing Development
M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)
V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)
CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)
Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)
Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)
Scion Ready-Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)
Blood Sea: The Crimson Abyss (Scarred Lands)
Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)
Indexing
Trinity Aeon
ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE!
In Art Direction
Contagion Chronicle
Scion Ready-Made Characters – Art is in.
Dark Eras 2
M20 Book of the Fallen – Drew’s finals in
VtR Spilled Blood
Trinity Continuum Aeon: Distant Worlds
Trinity Continuum Aberrant – Sketches
Hunter: The Vigil 2e
Ex3 Lunars
They Came From Beneath the Sea
Ex3 Monthly Stuff
In Layout
V5: Chicago
Trinity Core 
CoM – Witch Queen of the Shadowed Citadel 
Proofing
WtF Shunned by the Moon
Signs of Sorcery – At WW for approval
DR: E
Scion Jumpstart
Aeon Aexpansion
C20 Cup of Dreams
Ex 3 Monthlies – At WW for approval
At Press
Dragon Blooded – Deluxe Printing
Dragon-Blooded Cloth Map – at press
Dragon-Blooded Wallpapers – Going out to backers
Dragon-Blooded Screen – Printing
The Realm – Gathering errata
Trinity Core Screen – Printing
TC Aeon Screen – Printing
Tales of Excellent Cats
C20 Player’s Guide – Gathering Errata
Adventures for Curious Cats
Geist 2e – Gathering Errata
Book of Oblivion – Out to backers
Trinity: In Media Res
Scion: Hero – Wednesday
Scion Origin – Wednesday
Today’s This Month’s Reason to Celebrate!
It’s Pride Month! This year marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots, so let’s remember Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Brenda Howard, and all the other activists throughout the years who made Pride possible. Happy Pride to all our LGBTQI+ fans and freelancers, and I hope any celebrations you attend are amazing!
4 notes · View notes
justchillininmebox · 5 years
Text
Imagine Prompts
prompts for writing
1. “Your hair is so soft..”
2. “It’s too cold! Come back!”
3. “No, I’m not letting you go. It’s too early to get out of bed.”
4. “C’mere, you can sit in my lap until I’m done working.”
5. “I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”
6. “Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”
7. “What? does that feel good?”
8. “Just pretend to be my date.”
9. “He/She did it.” “No he/she did.”
10. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”
11. “It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”
12. “No no–it’s alright, come here.”
13. “I’m not going to leave you. You’re never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.”
14. “Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”
15. “If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars.”
16. “I think I might be falling in love with you.”
17. “Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day.”
18. “It’s not bad to cry. In fact, I think it makes a person stronger.”
19. “Mmm.. you’re warm.”
20. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this..”
21. “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with..”
22. “No, you can’t get up! You’re my prisoner for today.”
23. “Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was really.”
24. “You know I’m/we’re always here for you, right?”
25. “Please talk to me about it.”
26. “You have something in you hair.. um–do you want me to get it out?”
27. “I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”
28. “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm and I didn’t want to wake you.”
29. “I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please.”
30. “Are you wearing my shirt?“
31. “Wanna, like–I mean, if you’re not busy.. We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”
32. “So I was driving past a pet store and couldn’t help but wonder how cute an animal would be like in our home..”
33. “Let’s just stay in bed.”
34. “We live together. You can’t blame this on anyone else.”
35. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”
36. “Shooting star. Make a wish.“
37. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
38. “Wow, you’re hot.“
39. “I want to marry you.”
40. “I want to take a shower so you should probably join me. It’ll save water.”
41. “You’re just not the same anymore..”
42. “It’s midnight! Where the hell were you?”
43. “What the hell is your problem?!”
44. “Why do you run away from your problems all the time?”
45. “You can’t keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won’t do any good.”
46. “Hey, I know you’re hurting.. but, you’re not alone, okay?”
47. “I hate you! I’m sorry it took me so damn long to realize that.”
48. “You lost your chance.”
49. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”
50. “You can’t just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset!”
51. “Calm down! You’re scaring me!”
52. “Don’t look at me like that.”
53. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
54. “I’m done trying to help you!”
55. “Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”
56. “You didn’t call. You didn’t text. Nothing.”
57. “It isn’t up for debate.”
58. “I don’t know what’s wrong, okay? I’m just… really tired.”
59. “I’m fine. Stop asking.”
60. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong, and don’t try lying to me.”
61. “I hope someday you get a taste of your own medicine.”
62. “Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight!”
63. “Is this how little you think of me?”
64. “I can’t do this anymore.. not with you.”
65. “Are you happy now? Huh? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!”
66. “You said you’d always be there for me… so how did this happened? Why weren’t you there?”
67. “Did it ever occur to you that you’re hurting me too?”
68. “I don’t need help! I just want the pain to stop!”
69. “We can be friends instead.”
70. “I tried to move on, but nobody is you.”
71. “Do I look like I’ve moved on?”
72. “I don’t remember a fight or a reason, so what happened? Why did we break up?”
73. “Can I at least buy you a coffee? For old times sake.”
74. “I can’t take the loneliness anymore.”
75. “What are you talking about? You’re married!”
76. “I feels like everyone just forgot I exist.”
77. “Maybe I’m meant to be alone.”
78. “I gave you your chance, and you just used it to stab me in the back.”
79. “I’ve been alone for so long..”
80. “But you promised..”
81. “Isn’t this, like, illegal?” “Probably.”
82. “You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you’re gonna remember any of this.”“No, I’m not drunk at all. You’re just blurry.”
83. “I have a feeling we should kiss.”“Is that a good feeling or a bad feeling?”
84. “Yeah, well, I shut everybody out. Don’t take it personally. It’s just easier.”
85. "You’re jealous, aren’t you?” “I’m not jealous.”
86. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
87. “I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”
88. “Bite me.” “Eat me.” “Kiss my ass.”
89. “You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”
90. “You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”
91. “You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”
92. “I vote today be a pajama day.”
93. “You aren’t supposed to laugh! I’m embarrassed!”
94. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”
95. “There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendship.”
96. “I saw that. You just checked me out.”
97. “Are you stupid or stupid?”
98. “How about you make me?”
99. “Do it. I dare you.”
100. “Rise and shine, motherfucker.”
101. “Well fuck me!"
102. "Are you… Drunk?"
103. "Walk it off."
104. "Did you just go throw up?"
105. "Could you turn it down? A bit? Maybe?"
106. "Don’t drink that! I saw that guy slip something in there!"
107. "Get out of here! This is my hiding spot!"
108. "Quick, pretend your talking to me."
109. "Could you hold my hand?"
110. "You’re hiding under that blanket because you’re blushing?"
111. "Can I kiss you?"
112. "Quit looking at me with that stupid expression. You’re pissing me off."
113. “ …Why? Why are you being… so nice to me? I can’t understand. I can’t understand! I just can’t understand… “
114. "Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be using cheesy pick up lines?"
115. "You’re the perfect combination of sexy and cute."
116. "You know I’ll kill him if he hurts you."
117. "Can we please pretend I never said that?"
118. "Forget the douche. He’s a dick. He’s a dickdouche."
119. "You guys are yelling and I want ice cream!"
120. "How ‘bout you stick it up your ass instead?"
121. ”“Punched” is one word, “Fisted” is another.“
122. "Please! Leave me alone!"
123. "It’s too late for you to be out by yourself."
124. "You seem like a friendly face, mind if I sit with you?"
125. "You made me this way."
126. "I think about you all the time, it’s freaking annoying."
127. "Bill Nye couldn’t even help you."
128. "You left your shirt at my house. It’s mine now."
129. "I just wanted to hear your voice."
130. "I saw a shooting star and I thought of you.”
2 notes · View notes
humansoulsarg · 5 years
Text
We Welcome All Solve
This post https://pangenttechnologies.tumblr.com/post/185253110867/ not only celebrates the 2019 Spice Girls Reunion Tour, but also contains some (come to be expected from) Pangent Lore upon deeper investigation.
Included in the post are several images from the Spice Girls’ Spice World 2019 concert in May at Etihad Stadium. It does appear Lottie and Eric were able to attend this concert. I’m not clear on how the timelines align or work or what not, but I’m glad they were able to find their way into this amazing synchronistic Spice World.
The graphic image posted that states:
We welcome all ages all races all gender identities all countries of origin all sexual orientations all religions & beliefs all abilities: Spice World
contains three rows of grayscale shading at the bottom. These can be recombined as Red, Green, and Blue layers to create a color image which follows the Standard Pangent Color Code:
Tumblr media
The numbers decoded from this combined image can be interpreted as decimal ASCII as follows:
57 57 51 119 50 122 103 51 122 49 119 104 111 117 48
993w2zg3z1whou0
And the 15-character lowercase alphanumeric value we recognize as a mediafire link: http://www.mediafire.com/?993w2zg3z1whou0
This leads to a ZIP archive - concerted.zip which contains an MP3 - concerted.mp3 with clips of Spice Girls songs.
Thanks to a very helpful stranger who happened to be wearing a Spice Girls shirt one day in the cafeteria and spent time with this MP3 file (Thanks LT!!) it was discovered all the clips were from the 1996 SPICE album, and the track numbers were significant.
timestamp   #   track name 0:00-0:03   1   wannabe 0:03-0:12   9   naked 0:12-0:17   1   wannabe 0:17-0:20   7   who do you think you are 0:20-0:25   1   wannabe 0:25-0:27   7   who do you think you are 0:27-0:30   1   wannabe 0:30-0:32   10  if u can’t dance 0:33-0:34   5   last time lover 0:35-0:37   1   wannabe 0:38-0:40   10  if u can’t dance 0:40-0:42   6   mama 0:43-0:47   1   wannabe 0:48-0:50   10  if u can’t dance 0:51-0:52   1   wannabe 0:52-0:55   10  if u can’t dance 0:55-0:58   2   say you’ll be there 0:58-1:00   5   last time lover 1:00-1:03   1   wannabe 1:03-1:05   5   last time lover 1:06-1:08   7   who do you think you are 1:08-1:13   9   naked 1:13-1:16   1   wannabe 1:16-1:18   10  if u can’t dance 1:18-1:20   2   say you’ll be there 1:21-1:25   1   wannabe 1:26-1:28   5   last time lover 1:28-1:30   1   wannabe 1:31-1:33   10  if u can’t dance 1:33-1:36   9   naked 1:36-1:39   1   wannabe 1:39-1:41   10  if u can’t dance 1:42-1:44   8   something kinda funny
The durations of the clips were significant as some track numbers repeated, but a workable ASCII decimal string was found from this sequence:
119 99 117 117 105 106 110 102 51 57 99 102 115 109 108
wcuuijnf39cfsml
Another 15-character mediafire ID:
http://mediafire.com/?wcuuijnf39cfsml
This time to blackbird.zip which contains blackbird.jpg (an image of a blackbird) and blackbird.wav (an audio file in Kansas City Standard format)
The KCS WAV file decodes to Vigenere-encrypted text with password ‘argentina’ - so it’s from Lottie.
blackbird.txt - https://pastebin.com/Ry6hiXe1
444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444
  Packing up, for the weekend. Well, not the weekend. The back half of a week, and then the weekend, kind of. A few days off, for once. Special occasion. Pushing my luck. Working remotely, but that’s nothing new. Hoping everything’s not on fire when I get back.
  At the moment, there’s nothing about these projects that I can take for granted. I can’t just leave town and know that everything’s going to be all right. No, it’s going to be a damn mess.
  Rachel was sick for two days so Eric and I were sick for the better part of three weeks. He wasn’t sleeping well, worse than usual. Neither was I, and I’m still not sure why. He’d get up and walk around at all hours like a zombie. It was unnerving.
  That was three disgusting weeks, and so this is gonna be the first fun week in awhile. We’ve even got a kid taking care of Rachel, for a couple of the nights. So, fun.
  I’ve never been good at having fun. When I was a kid, sometime in my teens, a friend dragged me to a heavy metal concert and once they started playing I immediately needed to get the hell out of there, away from the noise. It was so loud it rattled my organs and made me want to throw up. Nobody had fun that night, I’m sure. I hadn’t discovered that earplugs were a thing yet. I wear earplugs every night now, or I did before Rachel.
  Things have gotten back to normal, by which I mean I’m working with a team again and getting twelve dipshit emails every morning from each of them because they don’t know how to tie their own shoes without me writing a visual tutorial.
  I hate to make this a generational thing, but working with men over fifty, in particular, is like dragging their whole weight up a mountain, or carrying them, when they should be able to walk on their own. They don’t listen and need to be told what to do at every step. Every day it’s like nothing I’ve done matters and they’re back to square one.
  I’m working my ass off, inbetween depression naps. Working harder than usual because I’m interested. Genuinely.
  For the life of me I don’t know why Pangent proper is letting me do this, and get away with it. Either X has other things on his mind or he’s finally given up on me. With Leslie’s help we now have a plan. I won’t go into it to jinx it but I think we could survive this. Have a future. Get out of this whole mess with our human souls intact.
  I’m enjoying the science again. Enjoying the research. Enjoying doing for real all the stuff that Management wouldn’t let me do before. It’s only been two weeks but a couple of days were genuine breakthroughs. People at Pangent, people who I thought were nutty and useless and liars, suddenly came through with research that changed everything.
  So this is the plan, or part of the plan. Project SOS. Save our souls. Shut everything that’s dangerous down and call it a success. Bring this to a conclusion before it’s got a chance to kill us, but in a way which looks good on paper.
  In my life I’ve taken on so many projects that are bigger than I can handle. I pretend they’re not, and the scope gets larger and larger, and they take so much more time than I pretended they’d take. And at the end, best case scenario, I think, Well, that just barely worked. Mistakes were made. Mistakes were fixed, as best we could and a little too late.
  And a project shouldn’t be like that. A project should be manageable. I shouldn’t be shooting the moon and losing my grip on the project, my time, my health and my sanity. But for the most part those are the only projects I remember. Where I tried to do something great and got halfway there, fucking up the other half along the way. Those were almost the only projects worth a damn, where I was punching above my weight a little. I don’t know what the lesson is there. Maybe there isn’t one. Dare to be great and you’ll always be a goddamn mess who gets part of the way to genius, with a few small errors on every page.
  People think I’m a pessimist. I’m an optimist really, an outrageous optimist. I plan every project as if doing the impossible is going to be easy. I know in my heart of hearts that it’s going to be tough, and take a chunk of my soul, and turn into a whole entire mess, but I plan out these projects as if I’m Superwoman, made of steel. A cutout of Ginger Spice, spicing up the world.
  I forget how to be afraid, when I should be. I forget to set my sights lower and be more realistic about things.
  A few weeks back I was walking out by the shops, in my blue sweater, sometime round sundown. As I passed the grocer, three teenage boys walked by me, hooting and hollering. It wasn’t even coherent enough to be catcalling.
  Children. They were just children. They kept shouting nonsense from thirty feet away. Swearing a blue streak, calling me the N-word, as if that makes any sense.
  I turned. I must have thought that required a response. “Yeah?” I said. “Fuck you!” I flipped them off.
  I was calm. They could have been anywhere from 13 to 18, I honestly couldn’t tell. They just looked like children. I didn’t know how to be afraid of them.
  One of them shouted, “The fuck did you say, bitch?” They were a long ways off now, but one of them, in a red hoodie, came running up to me at full speed. And he punched me, or tried to. He whiffed, right off the side of my head. Bad aim. I didn’t feel more than a slight breeze.
  He was right in my face now, breathing hot air like a steer in a bullfight.
  “I said, fuck you.” I stayed calm. We stared each other down for a moment. He was ready to fight. He spat and he swore, and he saw I wasn’t backing down. And he had, in that moment, a decision to make.
  He ran off with his friends.
  I kept walking.
  That whole time I couldn’t make myself be afraid. And I should have been.
  They were just kids. Teenagers who looked about twelve and were probably seventeen. But there were three of them. And if they’d wanted to, or had better aim with their punches, they could have …
  Hm.
  I did feel nervous, afterward, once I’d had time to process the whole thing. I crossed the street. I went to a different row of shops. And I looked over my shoulder the rest of the night.
  They clearly walked there. No one was watching them, and they had nothing better to do than get into trouble.
  Every time I pass that row of shops I think about them now. But I wasn’t afraid at the time. I didn’t know how to be.
  I haven’t worn my blue sweater outside since then.
  The other day a guy tried to stop me in the street. “I just want to ask you something,” in the way that men do when they’re panhandling for money. He didn’t seem like a sex creep so it could have been worse, I guess. I kept walking, and he kept talking, pretending to be offended, like I was the bad guy here for ignoring him.
  “What, are you scared?” he asked indignantly.
  That got me. I turned.
  “No.” I wasn’t scared. I stared him down. “You got something to say?���
  Silence, for a moment. Then he said, “Aw, forget it,” and backed off.
  He made a decision.
  There was a dead blackbird in the road. I took a picture. I had to get too close to the cars to take a picture.
  Why did I need to do that? Commemorating its death, like it means something. “Much to think about,” I guess.
  Dead blackbird on the side of the road, just far enough away from traffic. Must have hit a windshield. Body completely intact, enough that I kept hoping it would show some signs of life.
  It was still there on the way back. No one ran it over. I hope nobody ever does. That it stays that way forever, or until there’s nothing left of it.
  A beautiful bird. Making people think about death, if they’re walking that way, so close to traffic. Maybe I’m hoping it teaches people how to be afraid.
  Much to think about.
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