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#praying and praying and praying and praying. I could use a boost in sanity right now
measlyfurball13 · 1 year
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I'm holding out for a heroooooo (Unleash the Archers' next album announcement)
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esamastation · 3 years
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Roy doesn't know exactly when the new alchemist joins them on the field.
It's a bad time - they're establishing a new camp in the town and the area is under constant assault, it seems. Small strikes on all sides, seemingly from nowhere, taking out a man there, another there, crippling a truck, taking out a road… The Ishvalans are using some sort of network of tunnels, the brass thinks, and it's Roy's job to smoke them out. So that's what he's been doing, seemingly all week… smoking out the supposed tunnels.
There are no tunnels, though. The Ishvalans are just getting desperate and in their desperation they're figuring out new methods. They have home field advantage and new tricks of camouflaging themselves in the rubble that used to be their home. Ruins of a people, blending in the ruins the Amestrians had made of their houses. They're learning to live with it, to work with it, because it's all they have - and they're getting good because they have little choice in the matter.
No one is listening to Roy when he points it out, though. There's a dismissiveness to the higher ups, when it comes to the evolution of Ishvalan tactics. "What are they doing now, praying for better guns?" As though this war, hasn't already gone on three times as long as originally projected.
Roy is thinking about it, staring at a crooked, unlit cigarette someone had put into his shaking hands, when he's introduced to the new alchemist.
"Good news, Mustang," Hughes says, with absolutely no joy in his cheerful smile, and less so in his cheerful voice. It sounds like he's chewing charcoal. "You're getting partner."
Roy looks up, his mind still in the meeting room, thinking about numbers on a map, how they didn't quite capture the reality of charred skeletons. It takes a moment for what he sees in front of him to sink in.
Another blue uniform, still pressed sharp and bright new under the beige overcoat that's supposed to protect it and it's wearer from the dust and heat of Ishval. What stands before him isn't a soldier though - it's barely a man. It's a short blond boy, no older than sixteen at most, with heavy non-regulation boots and silver watch chain at his hip.
The horror and disgust that wells up it's barely a blip before it's smothered under, oh, of course, and shit, are we here already? Then Roy stands up, puts the unlit cigarette away and holds out his right hand.
"Major Roy Mustang - the Flame Alchemist."
The blond boy smiles, crooked and sharp and just as mirthless as Hughes beside him. "Nick Flamel - the Fullmetal Alchemist." His grip is tight and brief, his hand gloved.
He'd be the newest youngest State Alchemist then. Roy had heard his record had been beaten, though he hadn't really paid attention to who or how.
Hughes looks between them and for a moment his eyes show a certain desperation. Then he covers it up and pats Flamel's shoulder. "Fullmetal here is stationed under you until he gets a hang of things - you'll show him the ropes, teach him what's what."
Keep him alive, is what Hughes' eyes say, and no wonder. Being as young as he is, the kid can't have much in the way of training. Alchemists don't need to go through basic, after all - they're not there to march or shoot guns or stand in lines. Flamel had probably just gotten his watch, his uniform, and a one way ticket to Ishval. To one of the worst, most contested zones at that. Shit.
Did the brass send the kid here to die?
"What's your specialty - metallurgical transmutation?" Roy asks.
"I don't have a speciality, really," Flamel says and pushes his hands into the pockets of his overcoat. It doesn't quite fit him right - too wide across shoulders, a bit too long. They'd either left some growing room, or they just didn't have a uniform small enough. "But I'm damn good at environmental alchemy, which I figure is what I'll be doing the most around here."
Roy blinks. "Environmental alchemy," he repeats.
"I can make the battleground my bitch," Flamel says, his crooked smile sharpening.
And abruptly Roy is already exhausted with the kid. He's one of those, then, a cocky little sumbitch, top of his class and talk of the town, so used to being the top dog of his little bubble that he has no concept of what the real world is like outside that little bubble. Guys like him come swaggering in all the time, all big talk and smug grins, so sure they're going to be carrying their little superiority complexes spotlessly over the finish line that they walk into the first fucking landmine that comes across.
Roy sees himself holding the kid's hand after he gets gunned down, still thinking himself invulnerable, and it's exhausting.
"What?" Flamel asks, suspicious at his silence.
Hughes, giving the kid the exact same look Roy must be, clears his throat. "How about you show us?" he suggests. "So we'll have an idea what we're working with here."
Flamel arches a brow at that and then looks around, light brown - or are they burnished gold? - eyes narrowing in thought.
Their camp is still a mess from the last attack - they're fixing the fences and filling the holes in the road that got busted in the smattering of mortar fire from two days ago. The perimeter is more secure now, for a given value of secure. They'd chosen the highest spot in the town, the temple mount, to give them a high vantage point - better than being penned into a valley. It leaves them pretty damn open though.
Flamel looks over the houses they'd taken over, the tents pitched in the streets and the flag of Amestris hung over the prayer hall, and clicks his tongue. Then he claps his hands together, and crouches down.
For a split of a second, barely a blink, it looks like he's praying.
Then he slaps his hands on the street beneath their feet - and in a crackle of alchemical energy and rumble of displaced earth, the street reforms. The dirt flattens, grows perfect paving stones, shifts to form neat walkways on the sides, even forming gutters. Between one breath and the next, they have a perfect Amestrian city street, formed from the dust of Ishval, surrounded by Ishvalan buildings.
While the soldiers on the newly reformed street let out shouts of shock, Roy just stares, his mind trying to jump hoops figuring out how the kid just did that. Circles in his skin, under his sleeves, inside his gloves…?
Hughes whistles, hiding his wild eyes in a squint. "Nice. You know, it doesn't rain much around here," he comments.
"So?" Flamel asks.
"The gutters aren't really necessary."
Flamel looks at the street he'd made, hands resting on his hips, and shrugs. "Eh, can't hurt," he says and motions at the street. "Anyway, imagine that, but spikes instead of paving stones."
Roy swallows and looks at the kid, who's just standing there, seemingly in no way bothered. Fullmetal doesn't look smug or proud of what he'd done, only grinning a little bit at the way the soldiers throw away their shovels, no longer needed. If this isn't something for the him to even brag about, then…
Roy has in his head an image of the kid doing a field of spikes under a charging assault force, eviscerating people by the dozens, and it's clearly not Flamel's only trick. It's probably not even in his top five.
Fuck, the kid would end up with a three digit death toll by his first engagement.
"Right," Roy says. He isn't sure what his face is doing but going Hughes' expression, it's probably not good. "You can make gutters. How about trenches?"
Flamel grins, his eyes like molten metal. "Try me."
-
By the end of the week - no, by the end of the day their camp is hugely improved by Flamel. The fence is turned into a solid stone wall, constructed within minutes from the remains of bombed out houses. Another pile of rubble is turned into a watch tower. They have trenches, they have pits, Flamel even adds a moat and spikes around the camp, like they're in an ancient fortress or something. Hell, there's even gargoyles in the corners of the wall.
They go from one of the least secure camps to one of the most heavily fortified seemingly overnight. It's a huge boost to troop morale - not so for Roy's sanity. Flamel doesn't even look winded by the end of his improvements.
"How are you doing the circles?" Roy asks finally - bit of a social Faux Pas among alchemists, especially military alchemists, but he has to ask. Flamel made entire buildings, and he hadn't stopped to draw a single sigil.
"In my head," Flamel says, shrugging. Like that makes any sense.
Roy looks at him and then at the changes he's made, and can't say it's impossible - he can see the results with his own eyes. And they're more than impressive, they're…
Flamel isn't going to be here long, he realises. Whether the brass send the kid here to get rid of him or not, the moment word about Flamel's real abilities spread, he'd be snagged by the first general with any fucking sense. The kid's a powerhouse. Roy is too, of course, that's why he's here - but Fullmetal is a different kind of powerhouse. Just by himself, he would be able to establish a secure foothold in the middle of enemy territory and that's not someone you just let sit idle.
Roy looks at the kid and feels torn between feeling sorry, jealous and a little bit bitter. If only he was a bit higher in rank, he could keep Flamel and make a full use his abilities - and maybe keep him from becoming a mass murderer in the process.
"What was your exam like?" Roy asks. There's no way the kid showed even a fraction of these abilities, he wouldn't be here at all if he had. "How'd you end up with a name like Fullmetal?" From what he'd seen something like Earth Moving or Groundbreaking would've been more apt.
"I made a spear in my exam," Flamel says, not looking at him. "And pointed it at Bradley."
"... And they didn't arrest you?"
Flamel smirks a little and looks at him. "What did you do?" he asks. "I bet you scorched something."
Roy had. He'd been welcomed in on the spot. "Training dummies," he agrees, giving him a pointed look. "Because I don't have a death wish."
Flamel shrugs. "It got me what I wanted," he says and stretches his arms. "So, what comes next?"
Roy looks at their newly secure camp. "Depends on the Colonel, but I bet you'll be doing more road work. We need a clear path in and out of the town."
Even though the town is officially theirs, that doesn't stop the guerilla attacks - but now, with a secure camp, all they needed was a clear path for troops to move in and then it'd be only a matter of time. If the two of them weren't already reassigned by then, they'd be after the supply line was secure. Alchemists weren't wasted in safe stations.
"But that's tomorrow's problem," Roy decides. "Come in, kid - let's get something to eat."
- - -
Nostalgia is doing rounds in my brain.
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harrysweasleys · 3 years
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know-it-all // g.w
summary: Could you please write a fluffy fic about George and a Ravenclaw reader arguing about an answer on an exam or an assignment. And in the end it turns out George was right. And I would love it if you could include the exchange, "Don't say it!" "I told you so." "I said don't say it."
warnings: mentions of food
word count: 1.7k
a/n: i am back with my twin fics! woah! it’s been a while, sorry about that. life has been wild and i didn’t have much motivation but here we go! i hope you all enjoy!! x
[i do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other platform!]
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For what felt like the billionth time of that afternoon, you dropped your head onto the table and let your forehead smack against the solid wooden surface. You could feel different sets of eyes peering in your direction from other tables in the library, all silently questioning what was wrong with you. 
The answer was simple: Potions.
Snape had set out a stupid assignment that, to be completely fair, was way out of your league. For every time you thought he was an awful professor, he sunk remarkably lower. 
The topic of said assignment was one that you guys hadn’t even covered yet, and given by Snape’s tone of voice when a student had brought that very point up in class, he really couldn’t care less. It didn’t help that you were already ridiculously occupied with other end-of-year assignments — you didn’t want to get stuck teaching yourself a whole new branch of potion-making as well. You were barely sleeping nights and only showed up to dinner every second day, the library study hours becoming your very best friend. 
It was just a lot. 
It also didn’t help that you could see the golden rays of the sunlight pouring in through the dusty library window, signalling that it was once again the end of the day, and tomorrow, bright and early, you’d be handing in the assignment that you were nearly certain you’d botched. 
Dinner was likely being prepared in the Great Hall right about now, the wonderful smell of roast potatoes and pumpkin juice running through your mind, but you honestly weren’t up to eating. You were feeling rather down in the dumps, forehead still pressed against the wooden table, and your mind reeling around the assignment.
“You look like you could use some assistance.”
You lifted your gaze, sure that there was now a bright red spot on your forehead, and glared over at George, who had just taken the seat across from you at the table. His grin was wide but his eyes were tired — you knew he was busy working on assignments of his own, as well his summer plans for opening the shop. Yet somehow he always found time to help you. 
He tilted his head to the side when you gave him an exhausted stare, blinking rapidly before you processed his question. 
“Do you remember doing this last year?” you asked, sliding over the assignment paper, giving a small cough to clear your dry throat. George, being in the year ahead of you, had quite the knack for Potions. He liked to say it was because it was just utterly fascinating and he was a purely, genuinely, naturally gifted student, but you knew he only did so well because he’s been brewing his own disastrous concoctions since he was a young boy. With practice comes skill, you always said. 
And you prayed to Merlin that said skill would come in handy right about now. 
His eyes scanned the paper and he gave a small shake of his head, “No, but I think you’ve got this wrong. You wrote Leech Juice here, but I’m pretty sure the answer is actually Acromantula Venom.”
You frowned, snatching the paper back from him — making him flinch and take a quick look at his fingers for any paper cuts — and stared down at your answer, “What? No. The obvious answer is Leech Juice. This was the only question I understood. I know the answer to this one, it’s the others that I can’t seem to figure out.”
He raised an eyebrow, “It’s Acromantula Venom, darling. That I know for sure.”
Though you were grateful for his presence and the fact that he was willing to help, you knew he was wrong about that one. Any first year could tell the answer was Leech Juice. But you didn’t feel like arguing with him any more than necessary with time running low, so you just gave your paper back and frowned.
“Can you help me with any of these? Professor Snape hasn’t said a single thing about any of these topics, and I’m sick of flipping through book after book, not even sure what I’m looking for,” you let out a sigh, “It feels like he’s purposefully setting us up for failure,” you muttered the last part under your breath, not wanting anyone other than George to hear your complaints.
His hand reached across the table and linked with yours, his soft fingers calming down the rapid, stressed-out beating of your heart, and gave you a small smile, “If he hasn’t taught you this, I’m sure that you’re not the only one having a hard time.”
You groaned, trying to pull your hand out of his, unfortunately failing as his grip was stronger than yours. 
“That doesn’t make me feel better,” you said, voice low, “I don’t want to fail, even if everyone else does. That’ll always show up on my reports.”
He pursed his lips, giving you a small nod, “Alright, I get that. Why don’t you take a break? We’ll go eat, and then finish this up later, yeah? You can head over to the Common Room with me after dinner, I doubt anyone will say anything.”
A sigh left your lips as you began to place your parchment and books into a pile, George grabbing your ink bottle and quill — which had kindly left little indents in your hand due to aggressive use — and the two of you began to make your way to the Great Hall. 
After leaving the library, you could feel a weight lifted off of your shoulders. As if the tense study environment that you had felt stuck in had now been leeched away from you. As if you could now think clearly. You gave George a small smile, thankful that he arrived when he did. 
Merlin, why was sixth year so difficult? If it wasn’t for George’s calmness and sanity, you’d probably be a melted mess of failed papers and shining blue robes on the floor. 
As you made your way into the Hall, heading towards the Ravenclaw table, George pressed a kiss to your forehead and muttered, “Acromantula Venom,” against your skin, shooting you a wink before he made off to his own house table. 
You gave a small scowl, mouthing “Leech Juice” right back at him. 
— —
“Oh, well, now would you look at that,” George grinned, looking down at the assignment you were shoving in his face. A bright smile donned your lips as you flashed the score, a bright red E. 
Exceeds Expectations. 
It wasn’t the O — Outstanding — that you were hoping for, but Merlin, did the E feel good. That meant you had done better than Snape was expecting — and better than a majority of the class, by the looks of it. They had all walked out with solemn faces and shoved their papers in their bags as quickly as possible. Even the Slytherin girl who sat behind you, the one who always bragged about perfect grades and how much Snape favoured her, had left without saying a word. That fact alone really boosted your pride. 
“No thanks to your brilliant boyfriend,” George gave himself a pat on the back, giving you your now-crumpled paper. 
“Oh, sod off,” you gave him a nudge in the shoulder as you sat down on the couch next to him, the Gryffindor common room rather silent for this early in the evening. Despite being a Ravenclaw, passing students didn’t mind your presence in their house. After three years of dating George and always being in the space, they barely even noticed the blue of your tie amongst the red ones anymore. 
“Wait, what’s this?” George rapidly snatched the paper out of your hands — revenge for when you did it to him, most likely — and his eyes lingered on question number four, “Oh, well, would you look at that?”
You scowled, crossing your arms over your chest in preparation for his comment, “Don’t say it.”
His grin was so wide, you swore his cheeks would split, “You got Leech Juice wrong! And right here, scribbled in Snape’s hardly-legible writing, what does that say? It looks like A-Acro-,” 
“Don’t,” you didn’t meet his eyes, a sour expression on your face as George rubbed it in. 
“I told you so,” he leaned forwards, pressing a light kiss against your temple, arm slinging around you to bring you against his body. His warmth radiated through his sweater and it wasn’t helping the pettiness you were feeling in your chest. 
“I said don’t say it,” you grumbled, snapping your head away from him and staring at the blank brick wall next to the fireplace. His laugh vibrated through your body, and it took everything in you not to turn around and laugh with him. 
He placed one of his hands under your chin and turned your gaze to meet his, “Come on, I’m only playing. I’m proud of you, and I knew you’d do well. You were worried for nothing.”
“It wasn’t for nothing!” you flailed your arms, letting them fall on your lap, “He sprung this out of the blue. Of course I was worried.”
“And you did brilliantly,” he pressed another kiss to your temple, sparks fluttering across your skin as his loving touch, “You always do, my brilliant little witch.”
You cracked.
A small smile made its way onto your lips as you leaned into his touch, loving the feeling of being close to him. And it felt even sweeter knowing that you hadn’t failed — that this was a victory hug. 
“Love you,” he mumbled against your hand, bringing your knuckles up to his lips and pressing a kiss on each one. You leaned your head on his shoulder, bringing your lips to his neck to mumble the same words against his skin. 
A victory. 
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WINTER WARMTH
__________________
Hi, everyone!! This is a part of the Citrus Dome Snowed In collab! I’m so thankful to be a part of this round and super grateful for @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten and @tomurasprincess for letting me be on the masterlist! I’m so excited, but I’m not super proud of this one, so please feel free to give feedback.
Masterlist Here!
Go see everyone’s super awesome fics and art pieces they worked so hard on!!
ART BY @brttpaige on Twitter🖤 Go check out her artwork, she’s fantastic!
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Warnings: 18+ minors do not interact, AGED UP (mid twenties), fluff, insecurities, smut, body worship, chubby kink, marking (hickies), Papi kink
Pairing: Sero Hanta x reader
The local news station hailed it as “the storm of the century,” and they weren’t wrong. You’ve watched the snow pile up beyond the window, building from a light dusting on the grass to literal knee-high drifts. And it shows no sign of stopping.
The place you’re stranded is stocked up on groceries, you’d charged every electronic device to your name, and you’d cranked the thermostat as high as it would go until the inevitable happens —
The power goes out.
So now you’re stuck indoors, with only a certain someone for company. The same someone you’ve been pining after for ages. Snow stacks up higher and higher outside. As the cold seeps in, and you both drift closer, you realize this was somehow the one thing you hadn’t thought to prepare for…
The snow outside was pretty at first, but now with the doors and windows to your small cottage-type home half covered, it seemed almost oppressive. With the power outage, there was no television to drown out the quiet, only deafening silence and the movement of your new roommate, Sero Hanta.
It didn’t start this way, you hadn’t always obsessively paid attention to his mannerisms. At one point in time, he was just a hero working for the same agency you provided medical care for. You were just support staff, until a dumb villain thought you were “important” and kidnapped you, leaving the heroes you saw as coworkers to rescue you. After that, the agency wanted you to live in the adjacent apartments, but you refused. Magically, two days later, Sero Hanta approached you asking about your spare room under the guise of his lease running out. You thought it seemed a bit suspicious, particularly that this gorgeous man had “nowhere else to go”, meaning no significant other to take him in. Of course, you agreed, being a nice person and maybe bit naïve. He moved his stuff in, didn’t make much of a fuss, and mostly left you to your own devices. That is, until you noticed some... abnormalities. The lingering glances, the newly installed security cameras, the not-so-subtle ideas to spend time with you of having meals together or watching movies, making sure you’d eaten or slept... He cared too much. He was so perfect- gorgeous, tall, easygoing, had similar goals as a rescue hero, funny, and he cared. He cared for you, which made living with him so much harder. You found yourself enjoying nights with him, wanting to sit a little closer, wanting to impress him with new dishes to make for dinner, ditching your ex’s sweatpants for cute sleep shorts, relishing in fantasies of his protective nature and dominating stature with your hand between your thighs... You thought you were going to choke when he started walking around in only gray sweats or a towel after his shower. You tried your best to keep eye contact, not stick around too long, not encroach upon his comfort in his own house. You failed to notice the smirk on his face when you quickly excused yourself or when you turned away too fast after being caught staring.
Sero had originally taken this as an assignment, although he did have a bit of a crush on you from the times you’d patched him up after rough shifts. He thought of himself as your own personal hero, but that mindset soon turned into more than just an assignment. He was protective over you, and he found himself getting defensive if you even mentioned another guy. He had tried flirting within reason, just making dinners and watching movies, but he got cocky when he had walked past your door one night and heard your little whimpers. He decided to test his theory, wearing his sweats lower than he normally would and walking back to his room in a towel, and delighting in strolling past your room to hear your muffled moans and the vibrations of the toy you never used to use. You were getting desperate, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t boost his ego to hear his name through the walls. This, however, was NOT something he’d planned on.
Everything was fine, being stuck in the house together was nice, until the power went out. The heat somewhat remained in the house until night, when you curled up on the couch under every blanket you had and he layered on an extra hoodie and lounged next to you. He looked cold...
“H-Hey... Sero? Um... You look cold. Do you want a blanket?”
“Hmmm, but then wouldn’t you be cold too?” He chuckled and scratched the back of his neck.
“Well... Maybe... But that’s okay! You need to be warm too!!” God, you’re so sweet.
“I mean... You could always come over here, we can be warm together!” He stretches out his arm and beckons you over, inviting you to curl up next to him. You shift over, spreading the blankets over your roommate and hiding your blushing face under the pile of softness, keeping at least 3 inches of space between you before he rests his arm behind your head.
“Thanks, y/n, this is uh... nice!” He hides his disappointment at your perceived rejection, going back to look at his phone.
After 20 minutes of scrolling, you can’t take it anymore. He smells so good, and you can feel the warmth radiating from his body.
“I’M GONNA GO TO BED NOW. Uh, goodnight!” You basically shouted, too loud to be natural. You abruptly stood up before slightly shrinking from the frigid air. When did it get so cold in here?
“Hey, it’s really cold... We don’t really have a ton of blankets, and I’m worried you’re going to freeze, so maybe we could sleep in my room tonight? Just for, ya know... body heat?” He sounds nervous, like he expects you to freak out and reject him completely.
“Well... I-I guess that’s smart... You’re right. So... Let’s go?” Holy fuck, you are so nervous. You were originally escaping to your room like you normally do, too horny to continue hanging out with Sero and retain your sanity, but now you’re sleeping with him?! What the fuck are you thinking?!
He gathered the blankets and lead you into his room, holding the door for you before plopping down your nest of fabric. You stand awkwardly in the center of the room, waiting for something you have no idea what. Sero unceremoniously strips himself of his hoodies and sweats and climbs into bed, seemingly out of habit, before turning his attention to you and holding the blankets open.
“Are you coming?” He smirks, putting on a confused voice that doesn’t quite match the mischief in his eyes.
“I-...” FUCK, he’s beautiful. Lean muscles flexing with every movement, shaggy hair falling over his face, and holy... The tight black boxers are NOT helping the whole “too turned on to function” situation.
“Oh... Sorry, I read somewhere that skin-to-skin contact is better for warmth. You’d probably know better than me, I guess.” He grins, as though this entire thing is nonchalant and completely normal. “I can help you if you’d like~”
“Uh nope, yeah, you’re right!! I’ll uh just... Can you close your eyes?” You are panicking. Every insecurity you’ve ever had is coming to bite you in the ass. You’re suddenly hyper aware of how much space your body takes up, remembering everything those stupid bitches in high school said about you.
“Y/n, you’ve seen me in that skin tight hero suit and you’ve patched up most of my body. It’s totally fine! PLUS, you’re sleeping in my bed, am I gonna have to close my eyes the whole night??” He jokes, not knowing that your shyness isn’t rooted in principle, but fear. Upon seeing your face, his smile falters and he autocorrects, “You know, I think you’re beautiful, but if you want me to turn around, I promise I will.”
“No, it’s-it’s fine. It’s okay. Wait- did you just call me beautiful?” You try to cover your shocked expression as you take off your sweater and slide off your fuzzy pajama pants. Sero is thankful your head is stuck in your sweater as his jaw practically drops. Oh fuck, he’s screwed. His eyes follow your curves from your chest, down your sides, to the pouch of your tummy and the plump fullness of your thighs... If he thought he was having trouble focusing before, there’s no way there’s gonna be enough blood in his brain when you’re half naked next to him... Speaking of... Shit, he’s hard... Okay, it’s fine, just tuck it in your waistband like you did back in school...
You climb into bed as quickly as you can, still keeping a few inches between you and Sero until he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest. You squeak in surprise and he chuckles, “You can’t be warm unless you’re over here! C’mere.” He nestles his face into your hair and splays a hand across the curve of your lower back. Feeling very naked and very nervous, you shift in his hold and snuggle closer to the heat he gives off, but halt your motions when you feel him twitch against your thigh. Neither of you are breathing, praying the other didn’t notice the rock hard length pressed between your bodies. Somehow, in the time you spent essentially playing dead, you both fell asleep cuddled together.
Over the course of the night, you had shifted to straddle your leg over his torso and he had turned on his back with his hand resting on the space between your thigh and your butt. Sero was the first to stir from his slumber when he felt you move against him, a small whine escaping your parted lips as your hips rolled against his. Oh... OH... Is y/n-? oh fuck y/n is dreaming... and grinding on me... fuck, this shouldn’t feel so good... He tries his hardest to go back to sleep, but the feeling of your sleeping body brushing up against his cock keeps him wide awake. He was trying to stay perfectly still until he heard your tiny whisper “Hanta~”... His hips involuntarily thrust, drawing out the most sinful moan from your throat as the head of his dick added friction on your clit that woke you up. You start to move away, embarrassed and hoping to check that he’s still asleep, but Sero’s grip tightens around your thigh and presses you harder onto him.
“Good morning to you, too~... If you needed my help getting off, you could’ve just asked, babygirl~” The lust and sleep clouding his voiced, combined with the steady roll of his hips makes you whimper and tuck your face into his neck.
“Awww so shy~ You were moaning my name earlier. Why don’t we see how loud I can make you, princess?” He speaks lowly as he flips you onto your back, hovering over you.
“I- I... Please.” You breathe wrapping your legs around his waist and stare up at him, wiggling your hips and sliding your hands up his biceps.
“Can I- Can I kiss you? Are you sure you want this? I’ve had feelings for you since before I moved in and I just... I never want to hurt you.” Cupping your cheek and searching your face for any hesitation, Sero starts succumbing to his own insecurities. He never wants to hurt you, and he knows he isn’t the flashy hero some of his friends seem to be... He needs to hear you say it.
“Sero... Yes~. I want you, please kiss me... I feel the same way. Please~...” Upon hearing your confession, Sero slotted his lips against yours. The kiss was sweet, gentle. Breathing each other in felt so right, so natural, and you followed his lead when he slid his hold to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. His hand drifted down, following the curve of your breasts, tracing your sides and resting on the pouch of your tummy. Just as you were starting to feel self conscious, Sero groans and moves to kiss your neck, mumbling “You’re so beautiful, y/n. Fuck, so perfect. You feel so soft, I need you so bad~” The whimper he draws from you when he sucks a deep mark into the column of your throat is absolutely lewd, you can barely believe it came from you. He kisses his way down your body, leaving hickies along your skin and squeezing every inch he can get his hands on. You look down at him, his eyes dark with lust and admiration as he leaves opened mouthed kisses along your inner thighs, making you more needy than you thought possible. He strokes his thumb along your clothed slit and moans at your wetness.
“Fuck- you’re so wet for me, angel. I want to taste you, you’re so cute like this. Let’s take these off, yeah?” He looks to you and hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties, asking for permission and grinning like an idiot when you lift your hips to help him. Before you can say anything, he’s prying your legs open and diving in, moaning as he laps your slit and sucks your clit into his mouth. You run your fingers through his hair and grip him, pulling him into you and grinding against his face. His groans send vibrations straight to your core, pinning your hips with one arm and sliding two fingers into your dripping cunt.
“M-more!! Oh god, please Sero, just like that- I want more!” You moan so prettily for him, but he wants something more. He releases your clit with a pop and leans up, stilling his fingers inside you and wrapping his free hand around your neck. The pressure and dominance has you clenching around his fingers, and he takes notice.
“You either call me Hanta or Papi, nothing else. You understand? I want you to say my name when you cum.” He commands, and sends a shiver down your spine. “Oh you like that, huh?~ I can feel you squeezing my fingers. Why don’t you tell me what you want, baby?~”
Your brain goes hazy when he leans in and places little love bites on your neck and collarbones. “PAPI~! Yes, I love it! Please fuck me, I want to feel you, I need moreee~” You pant as he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you unbearably empty.
“Oh baby, I’ll fill you up, don’t worry. But first, why don’t you suck my cock?~” He strips himself of his boxers and flips the two of you, pulling you on top of him. He’s so long, just thick enough to stretch you and reach every amazing spot inside of you. The sight of his hard length has you drooling, anticipating feeling the weight of him on your tongue. You give the head a few kitten licks, relishing in the way he groans and twitches in your hand. He laces his fingers at the base of your head and lets you set your own pace, wrapping your plush lips around him. Bobbing your head up and down, running your tongue along the vein on the underside of his dick and swirling it around the head- you love seeing his reactions. The way his breathing increases and his hips buck when you hollow your cheeks. He looks so pretty like this, you can’t help but rub your thighs together for some kind of friction. Luckily, he notices how desperate you’ve gotten and pulls you up to straddle him with one hand still on your hair and the other gripping your hip, calloused fingers digging in and massaging the fat there.
“As much as I want to cum in that perfect little mouth, I think my baby needs to be filled, yeah?” He fists his cock and strokes the head through your wetness, gathering your slick and making you involuntarily grind against him. “Beg for my cock, babygirl~, tell Papi what you want.” The smirk on his face is utterly sinful, teasing you and enjoying the fucked out expression on your beautiful face.
“PLEASE I want your cock, I wanna be full, just fuck me already!!! Please stop teasing me Hantaaa~” Just as you grind your hips down onto him, he thrusts into you, cutting off your pleading with a needy moan. “Ah~ fuck- so full, so full, oh my god! Yes Papi~!”
“Oh shit angel, fuck- you feel so good.” Hanta grabs your hips and helps you slowly fuck yourself on him, “Just like that, baby, just like that. Ride my fucking cock. Fuck- you’re so tight...”
The dirty talk pouring out of Hanta’s mouth, combined with the stretch of his hot length stirring up your insides, you find yourself embarrassingly close to climax already. Your first orgasm hits you like a train, completely knocking the air out of your lungs and causing you to collapse onto Hanta’s chest. He seizes the opportunity to flip the two of you, holding you underneath him and fucking you into the mattress.
“Ah ah ahhhhh~ Hantaaa~ I can’t! I can’t, I just came, it’s too much!!! oh FUCK Papi!!!” You feel the tears welling up in your eyes from the overstimulation and pleasure.
“Yes you can, babygirl. You’re taking me so well, you’re such a good girl. I know you love it, I can feel your pussy flutter around me. So honest, angel. You’re so perfect like this- fuck.” Hanta grips the back of your thighs and pushes your knees to the bed, hitting even deeper within you. The head of his cock kisses your cervix with every thrust and makes you scream out, nails digging into his back, and egging him on.
“Come on, mi amor, cum with me. I know you can, I can tell you’re so fucking close... Cum on my cock, that’s right. Cum for me.” His long fingers reach down and rub quick circles on your clit. He leans in to sink his teeth into the junction of your neck and your shoulder, sending you over the edge into your climax. Your vision goes white and you clamp down around him, cunt spasming as you squirt all over his thighs and abs.
“F-fuck!!! That’s so fucking hot~ I’m gonna- Ah~” He fills you to the brim with his sticky release, the warmth spreading through your core and coating your walls. Hanta releases your legs and lays on top of you, sweaty bodies pressed together until he comes down from his high.
“That was so amazing, angel. You were so good for me. Such a pretty baby, all mine...” He pulls back to kiss your temple and rolls over, petting your hair and lightly scratching your back.
“You have no idea how happy that makes me... I always want to be yours.” You giggle, bubbly at his claim on you and still buzzing from your high. You curl up into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist and holding him close. “Mine.”
“Mmhmm, all yours.” He breathes a chuckle and places a kiss to your hairline. “I’m glad I can warm you up, lovebug.” He smiles as your breathing evens out, falling asleep with you in his arms.
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probably-haven · 3 years
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Hello!
So I’m the anon who asked for more Archon War Venti headcanons and I just loved it! I really like reading your headcanons cuz some of them are similar to mine but mostly are headcanons that I didn’t think of so it really is nice to read and see your thoughts about Venti!
I feel like as if I’m asking too much but could you keep doing these types of headcanons? Like it doesn’t have to be Archon War headcanons but like some headcanons about Venti’s relationship with the Ragnvindrs and Gunnhildrs. Because the first Gunnhildr was the first one who prayed to Barbatos and the first Ragnvindr was his friend who left but came back and I really wanna hear your thoughts on that!
And I’ve decided to get off anon cuz you just replied to my texts and I wasn’t expecting that so I’ve got a short confidence boost that I am completely taking advantage of! And thanks for the advice! or uhh comment? observation? I’m not entirely sure but thank you for that! I’ve heard that be said to me a few times and I have been trying to be more, uhh, assertive so thanks for that!
rfouierjkhfkecs i actually came across information on Gunnhildr and the "Red-haired warrior" yesterday when i was doing more research into the rebellion against Decarabian and I was like "wow this would be really fucking fun to research and theorize on, but its too specific/niche to include unprompted no matter how much i want to" but bestie you prompted, and im literally so happy right now because I didn't think I'd ever really get the chance to post about them!
also lmao yeah, i tend to try and reply to as much as I can, since it's a good feeling when someone does and all. but yeah, no problem! I’m glad you felt confident enough to reveal XD. 
This may be structured a bit more like analysis/theory/just citing canon things at first before it gets into a more headcanony format.
ehe i have so much free reign on this it's lovely
More Archon War Era Venti: one two three
spoilers for Venti's backstory and Diluc's(kinda, i think, just in case)
first things first, laying down some canon background because before yesterday i hadn't heard of either of them outside of that one cutscene.
the very reason Decarabian had his storm wall up in the first place was because at the time Andrius had declared war on him- and his tower, and the city of Mondstadt by extent, were basically constantly under attack by Andrius's blizzards, which since he was still alive back then, were a lot bigger and covered basically what seems to be the whole of Mondstadt outside the barrier.
This meant that people had two options. Live in the city under Decarabian's oppression, or live outside the barrier, and brave the blizzards of a warring god... which was not a good idea
but the Gunnhildr clan(not yet called that) tried- and they almost died because of it. In the midst of a blizzard, the clan chief's daughter, named Gunnhildr(which the clan would be named after later) sent out a prayer that was heard by a wandering wind spirit. And the faith of that prayer gave the spirit enough power to create a small shelter to protect them.
When her father past, she became the new leader and also a priestess. She would later lead the clan to fight Decarabian alongside four others. And basically the Gunnhildr Clan ended up as like sworn protectors of Mondstadt
-
as for the red-haired warrior, who is basically assumed to be the earliest known ancestor of the Ragnvindir clan(im gonna refer to as Ragnvindir for convenience sake, even though "Ragnvindir" is technically a different character from Vanessa's era)theres not much information on him, but heres what i have from the various wiki's
- he was a wanderer
- one of the first to use the sign of windblume to find other rebels(so he's intelligent)
- actively propped up the nameless bard so he could watch as the tower was destroyed
there's this little tidbit too from the Windblume Ode bow's description that im probably gonna talk about a considerable amount too: "Atop the ruins of the ancient tower, amidst the cheers, songs, and tears of those who had newly won their freedom. A red-haired warrior turned his back on the newborn god, hidden like a single raindrop in a tidal wave of humanity. He was first among those who passed the secret sign of Windblume, the one who wove threads of dawn throughout the long night. His name has since been lost to time, but his deeds are still remembered in song." followed later by "The fate of this clan will likely never change: they shall ever live in the darkness and bring forth the flame of dawn."
-
Now I'm going to start with the Ragnvindir(geez, why's it spelled like that tho)
My idea of his character is basically formed by a mix of Ragnvindir stereotypes and just generally analyzing text.
So what do we know about Ragnvindir's for sure? they are shady motherfuckers- or at least they rarely operate in the spotlight. also damn, these guys are more cursed than anemo vision wielders- like the only one who didn't canonically lose someone close to them was Crepus, but considering that Diluc doesn't exactly have a mom..... he probably did
so what do we know? - he was close with the nameless bard - he was intelligent - he likely operated primarily from the shadows "ever living in the darkness" - he was a wanderer - he abandoned Venti during the celebration - but his deeds were still remembered in song, so Venti and him were likely still close
now the question of the century: how will i choose to interpret "turned his back on the newborn god"? And honestly, I'm- not sure- at first i assumed he abandoned him completely- but Venti did still make sure to carry on his memory- which could just be Venti being Venti, but for the sake of sanity, this is how I'm interpreting it.
A lot of things happened to the Ragnvindir that day. He lost a friend, saw another become a god to replace the one they had conquered, and he saw his goal, his reason for being in Mondstadt, come to fruition. "see the world through my eyes" the bard had said, and the Ragnvindir had been a wanderer even before. Sure, the people had won freedom, and that was to be celebrated, but he's intelligent to recognize that people would likely see him as one of the key figures in leading the rebellion. And for him this was a solemn time, and ending to a chapter, and not being one to operate in the spotlight, the last thing he'd want is to be swept up in festivities and attention at a time like this.
It also likely didn't help that he's probably smart enough to understand the idea of "power corrupts," and seeing the wind sprite just readily accept the mantle of Archon was likely not the most comforting thing to happen in the given situation after all. But Decarabian was gone, and Andrius had ceased his blizzards, so without a word, he slipped into the crowd and left, a wanderer once more.
-
now back to Gunnhildr
she was the first to receive an anemo vision from Barbatos, no I do not take criticism on this "the power bestowed on her by Barbatos" like please, they basically said it.
It also mentions that she crowned Venti with laurels(symbol of vistory) after the battle- the book Biography of Gunnhildr additionally says "the Gunnhildr Clan will continue honoring the legacy of its ancestors and its duty to the Anemo Archon: to protect Mondstadt, the land and all who inhabit it, forever."
I really like this because it conveniently ties into my past headcanon about Venti granting visions to the people of Mondstadt and having them be the ones to erect wind barriers and defend the city in his absence.
So in the Archon War I like to imagine that the Gunnhildr clan had a lot of people who were actually granted visions and were basically in charge of protecting it from those who would attempt to ambush them.
Mondstadt essentially became known for this- the fact that the mortals within it were strong enough to fend off the force of a god without support from their own.
but regardless, Gunnhildr, as she had before, served as a priestess to Barbatos, the closest thing that Mondstadt had to a ruler, and yet she only took charge of prayer and protection.... i hate to just- equate them to their descendants- but to an extent- her role was kind of like a merge between Jean and Barbara- Except with a whole lot less structure.... i really dont want their characters to just be carbon copies of the descendants but- c'mon, the comparison was right there.
anyways besties- back to Venti so i can tie them in
The Archon War was one of the worst times for Venti in his entire life thus far. And the time immediately after Decarbian's fall, while Gunnhildr and the Ragnvindir were still alive, was the key period of time in which things could have gone very differently.
Venti is the god of freedom. That's a reoccurring theme and I think I've made that abundantly clear. But during this time, Venti was anything but free.
I've mentioned before how he would stay far from the city of Mondstadt so the shockwave of his death wouldn't reach him, should he fall.... well- Venti is new to a lot of things- godhood- humanity- war- freedom- and at this point he was trying hard to figure out how to be Mondstadt's god without becoming Decarabian, and while still being able to survive, and make sure they survived, and see the world for his friend, and carry on his friends legacy.
And this is a lot of stuff for what was once a carefree elemental being, and there were certain things that had to be done for this to happen. He couldn't just stay in Mondstadt, or he would grow weak and his people would be vulnerable to attack, but he couldn't abandon it, because despite being able to fend for themselves, there's always hat just in case. He couldn't stay in any one place outside of Mondstadt for very long or he'd be found and killed. He knew in order for Mondstadt to survive he would have to take an active role in the war, strengthen himself so he could defend Mondstadt, and thats exactly what he did.
He started by going after the less powerful gods, ones he had a chance at beating with the power he got from the Gunnhildr clan and the rest of Mond, and by wiping them out, he would grow stronger, so he kept it up- working his way up the metaphorical ladder.
but he couldn't let anyone near him either, because he knew just what would happen if he was attacked then. Were it not for Gunnhildr's prayer, the early years of the Archon War would have been without contest the loneliest time of his life, and there would be nothing he could do about it, bound by survival and his attachment to the legacy of his friend, constantly fearing for his life and going against his very nature as the god of freedom. Frankly thrust into that circumstance that early on, and having to face it alone, it's likely that Venti would have caved under the pressure and dropped his attachment to either his survival, or to his friends legacy... or just something entirely worse(isolation messes with brains) so I'm attributing the fact that he didn't do that to Gunnhildr's companionship, speaking to him and guiding him through it as he had guided her through the blizzard some time ago.
I also like to think that she's responsible for founding at least a number of the different celebrations that still happen in Mondstadt even now.
Ugh supportive warrior priestess- we stan
anyway meanwhile! we got the Ragnvindir
He hears about Venti taking part in the Archon war during his wanderings and returns to Mondstadt to check in, wary of what he might find.
Venti, who hadn't seen him since the rebellion, is elated to say the least and they do a bit of catching up because they need it
and then the conversation turns more serious, and the Ragnvindir brings up a third thing that Venti needs to hold onto- his humanity.
See, in the early years, just desperate to get a foothold on the world, Venti's first number of targets were just indiscriminately going after those he knew to be weaker than him, and the Ragnvindir points this out, saying that while it's not necessarily bad, if he keeps doing it, it won't be long until he causes his and, by extent, Mondstadt's legacy to be tainted by a reputation for slaughter, no better than any of the other bloodthirsty gods that frequented the war's fields. "Think of what the bard would do, we were both close enough to do that much"
And Venti becomes yet more caged, but recognizes that he's right, and this is another turning point, that in the coming years would keep Venti from losing himself.
also- Gunnhildr, Venti having told her about the Ragnvindir's concerns that he now shared, probably organized some kind of event (not unlike the right of part, but also, yes unlike it) that was deliberately intended and designs to serve as an excuse that Venti could chose to take to visit Mondstadt, something she know he desperately wanted to do, but wouldn't allow himself for fear of putting them in danger. But if she made it an official celebration, then it would give Venti the opportunity to visit his people again, under the guise of it being a responsibility, not having to deal with the moral implications of doing so at a time when he was already dealing with enough of those already.
Also on his travels, the Ragnvindir probably started and spread a number of rumors that could end up working in Venti's favor, not that anyone ever knew it was him of course.
basically Gunnhildr protected the people of Mondstadt and did all she could to keep everyone in as high spirits as possible, Venti included.
And as for the Ragnvindir, he took a more realistic approach, traveling and getting venti followers in far places, spreading false information about him, and just overall making sure that Venti didn't do things he'd regret.
And when they died, Venti would carry their legacy with him as well, not losing his humanity to the tide of war as he very nearly had(though he still often came close), and trying to spreading high spirits where ever he could without fail.
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imaginedisish · 3 years
Text
Devil’s Advocate (Tenet) Neil x Reader
Chapter 1: Paper Planes
A/N: Hey guys!! Here is the first chapter of the fic, “Devil’s Advocate”!!! I’m excited about this, and writing it is getting me through a lot right now, so I hope you all enjoy it too! Here ya go :)
Summary: After a traumatic experience, you are forced back into the field with Neil, but the mission is personal and possibly too close for home for you to handle. Neil helps you through it, but you’re not sure if you can get the job done.
Warnings: Violence, guns, death, drowning, injuries, angst, cursing, and yes, luckily some fluff :)
Word Count: 4,405
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The weight of your cold, dark black glock settles heavily into your right hand as you pick it up off the table to your left. You secure a pair of noise cancelling headphones around the top of your head. You load the gun and cock it. 
The headphones blast with music, helping you to concentrate on the man-shaped target in front of you.
Everyone’s a winner, we’re making our fame.
Bonafide hustler making my name.
 You extend your gun out in front of you as you shut your left eye tightly to aim. 
All I wanna do is…
BANG BANG BANG BANG 
And uh, and take your money. 
You lower the gun as the target pushes forward towards you. You can’t help but smile confidently as you look at the deep hole you made in center of the paper man. You reach to take it down, but a warm hand grabs onto your shoulder, squeezing you tightly, freezing you in place.
The hand twists your body slightly, just enough to make you turn around. You reach up to the top of your head and slip your off headphones, letting them rest around your neck. 
A charming, wild grin pulls at Neil’s lips as his gaze meets yours. “That was bloody incredible!” He shouts. There’s a bright flash of excitement in his eyes. His hands gesture towards the hole you made in the wall. You had aimed perfectly, shooting in the exact same spot each time you pulled the trigger. 
“Thanks,” You say back as your cheeks flush with heat despite the boost of confidence rushing through your veins from Neil’s praise. A compliment from Neil means a lot to you, even though you’ve known him for years. He was your closest friend and made sure to tell you the truth, even when it hurt. That honesty grounded you in the chaos of your life. He was a constant, a steadfast star in your sky. 
Neil chuckles a bit as his eyes look down to the headphones hanging around your neck. You don’t hear how loud your music still is. Your mind is too focused on the sound of Neil’s laugh. 
M.I.A Third World Democracy
Yeah I got more records than the KGB
So uh, no funny business!
“A bit loud, isn’t it?” Neil laughs again as he steps closer to you. He brings his hands to the back of your neck, his fingers brushing lightly against your skin as he grabs the headphones and slips them off of you. 
That smile, You think before mentally slapping yourself across the face. Snap the fuck out of it. 
Your feelings for him were always at the back of your throat, clawing for supremacy, climbing up to the tip of your tongue, threatening to force your mouth open to spill your guts. Somehow, even after all these years, you were able to hold back. Maybe it was because you didn’t need more than what you had with him. That was an absolute lie. Maybe it was because he never belonged to anyone else. There was no need to be jealous. Maybe it was because there was a certain, silent promise of belonging to each other despite the lack of an official relationship.
That was more like it. 
Neil puts the headphones back on the table as the next song plays. The absurdly loud riff of the guitar pulls you back into reality. 
Fell in love with a girl,
I fell in love once and I almost completely.
She’s in love with the world
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading. 
Blushing again, you reach into your pocket and pull out your phone to press the pause button. The music stops and you smile shyly. A creeping sense of embarrassment crawls into your stomach. You were beyond happy that Neil was able to see you in your element, and usually his presence made you feel good, but his attention was overwhelming at times. Now, the confidence that settled in before had been sucked from your soul and replaced with a racing heart and a cluttered mind. 
You push thoughts of Neil to the back of your head. “So what’s up?” You ask, setting the gun on the table next to your headphones. You casually slip your hands into the pockets of your baggy jeans. You mentally acknowledge that you may be overdoing the whole ‘playing it cool’ thing in front of Neil, possibly even to the point that he might be able to see straight through your act. 
“Well,” Neil pauses. His hand moves to the back of his neck. “I’ve got some news,” Neil says finally, his smirk falling from his lips. Your heart skips a beat. He looks unbelievably nervous. His brows furrow cautiously, knowing his next words are going to achieve some sort of poor reaction from you. 
You gulp anxiously and nod. “W-what is it?” You stutter as you predict the words Neil is about to say. 
I can’t fucking do this, not yet. 
Neil steps closer to you and grabs your hand in his. The touch was familiar but still shocked you to your very core, your nerves tingly frantically under his fingers. 
Please don’t say it, please don’t fucking say it. 
Neil’s voice is quiet in anticipation of your panic. “The boss, he wants you back in the field…” Neil trails off, continuing on about something in London, something about him going with you. You feel your chest tightening. You’re not listening anymore. You’re too focused on what happened last time, too focused on the trauma, too focused on the tears, the shouts, the deaths. 
“NO!” You scream, your long, HDM hung heavily in your hand. The lifeless body of a new recruit crashes to the floor. 
You raise up your arm and cock the gun. You’re ready to aim and shoot, but two large men grab your hands. Your gun falls to the ground with a clatter. 
The man with the dark hair cackles cacophonously. He shakes his head, his piercing emerald eyes dissolving your soul as he picks a new body to hold roughly in his arms. A revolver presses tightly against the person’s head. You can’t tell exactly who it is, as there’s a burlap sack covering their face. There are 8 other people in a semi circle, each appearing the same as the last, tied up in a chair with a burlap sack hiding their identity. 
“What?” He shouted barbarically, his voice echoing against the silver, metal walls of the chamber. “You think your fucking screams can get you out of this?” He grinned maliciously, licking his lips as he cocked the gun. Tears roll down your cheeks. 
You are helpless. 
You are useless.
“(Y/N),” The voice of the person cries out, knowing that their fate is already sealed. It was a woman’s voice, and you felt a bit guilty as you prayed to God that it wasn’t Wheeler.
BANG! 
The lifeless body slumps into the chair. You whimper, stifling a sob in the back of your throat. 
The man with the dark hair moves onto his next victim. You struggle, trying to shake off the two men holding you back. You look around the room, searching for something, anything to get you out of this. 
The man’s face lights up with malignant excitement, sensing that his next kill would hurt you the most. 
Fuck, no no no no no, You think to yourself. You could recognize those stupid, posh little black dress shoes anywhere. You knew the curves of his body, the shape of his hands. Blood dripped down his neck from the cut on his forehead he had gotten earlier. 
Neil.
“Please,” You beg. “Don’t touch him. Just kill me instead.” 
The man with the dark hair only grins more widely now. “Darling,” He snarls. You cringe at his use of the nickname. Neil usually was the one to call you that. “Your begging only makes this more fun for me. In fact, it makes me want to kill you even less, just so you have to live with the image of everyone you care for dying in front of your very eyes for the rest of your life.” His cold words send shivers down your spine. 
He maneuvers differently around Neil, as he grabs the bottom of the burlap sack and removes it from his face. 
Neil’s blue gaze meets yours. You heart feels like it’s being stepped on as it sinks deeply to the bottom of your chest. You can barely breathe now. You huff, trying to keep your sanity, trying to find a way out of this fucking mess. 
“I figured you would want to watch the life drain from his pretty little face, (Y/N),” The man retorts. You shake your head violently. You look left to right, searching for some sort of weakness in the two large men that were keeping you in place. You notice a brace around the knee of the man on your right. 
Thank God for shorts, You think to yourself. 
The man with the dark hair raises the revolver to Neil’s right temple. 
“(Y/N),” Neil mutters. “I l-,”
Before Neil can get his last words out, you raise your right leg, bending it in and snapping it out at the back of the man’s knees, launching him forward. With your right hand now free, you sucker punch the man to your left square in the nose. You round house him in the stomach, sending him backwards. You grab your gun off the floor and aim it back to the man with the dark hair. 
The man chuckles evilly. “You shoot me, and I shoot him. It’s really as simple as that.” Your heart pounds in your chest. 
An idea suddenly dawns upon you. You shift subtly enough so that the man doesn’t catch on to your train of thought. The gun is already cocked, all you need to do is pull the trigger.
BANG! 
“Fuck!” The man cries out, stumbling forwards into the center of the semi circle as he releases Neil from his grasp. His gun falls to the floor. You turn away sharply at the realization that you blew his hand off. 
You run over to Neil first, quickly untying his hands and setting him free. He starts untying everyone else and you walk over the the man with the dark hair. You catch a quick glimpse of Wheeler, and sigh in relief that she’s safe. 
You breathe in hard and part your lips. “Don’t you dare ever fuck with me or my team again,” You pause, kicking the man in your ribs. There’s something extremely personal about your tone.  He grunts in response. “Now tell me where Edgar is keeping the weapons. And tell me where the fuck the lab is, you prick.” 
He chuckles, breathing shallowly. “Prick?” He pronounces the word articulately. “That’s no way to address your uncle.”
“Fucking answer my question ass hat!” You shout, aiming your gun at his head. With another swift kick to the stomach, he curls up in a ball, clutching at his core. You cock your gun again, ready to shoot. Neil rushes to your side, giving you a look that implored you to let him finish before you blew his brains out. 
“F-fine,” He stutters. “It’s in London.” He gives you a set of coordinates, and Neil takes them down. “I suppose I should tell your father that you’re calling him by his first name now, hm?” 
“No, you won’t be getting the chance to,” You say. 
You pull the trigger. 
BANG!
You hear someone in the distance calling your name. 
Two slender, toned arms wrap around your back, resting on your waist as they pull you into an embrace. The smell of Neil’s musky, cinnamon and citrus cologne heightens your senses and brings you back down to Earth. 
Your breathing slows down a good deal as you press your face into Neil’s chest. His right hand comes up to the nape of your neck, and he begins to rake his long fingers through your hair. 
“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” Neil whispers in your ear. 
You swallow roughly. “No,” You say without even needing to think. “I’m not ready yet. I can’t leave Headquarters yet. I’m just not ready.” You feel tears begin to swell in your eyes and you bite down on your lip, hoping to keep them at bay. It had only been a month since you had killed your own uncle. He was a piece of shit, but that didn’t make the situation much easier to deal with. 
It had only been a week since you watched two of your friends die. That part may have been the hardest for you to swallow. 
Neil shakes his head and breaks away from you bit, just enough to get a good look at you. “You’re ready, (Y/N).” His voice is calm and reassuring. “And unfortunately, you don’t have a choice. We have to leave for the airport in,” Neil pauses, checking his silver watch, “45 minutes.” 
“W-what?” You gasp. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” 
“I just found out a few minutes ago,” Neil admits. “If I knew earlier, I would’ve told you.”
You nod, believing him entirely. “So we’re going to London? To the coordinates?” You ask, looking up into Neil’s ocean eyes. You could feel yourself beginning to drown in them, just as you always were. 
Neil simply nods back. He rests a hand on the center of your chest, feeling your heartbeat quicken with anxiety. “It’s just going to be you and I for a few days, and then everyone else will join when we confront…” He doesn’t same his name. He doesn’t want to make you panic again. But you know exactly who he means. 
Your father. Your heart hammers in your chest at the thought of him. 
“It’ll be okay,” Neil’s comforting tone relaxes you a bit. “I won’t leave your side for a second,” He adds. You sigh audibly in relief. 
You let a single tear slide down your cheek. “Thank you,” You whisper. 
Neil pulls you into his chest again. “Anything for you,” Neil responds. You shudder at his words. Sometimes you could swear that he didn’t only see you as his best friend, but something more. 
You let the ideas ruminate and run freely in your mind for a few seconds before shooing them away like pesky little children. 
You take a step back, allowing a small space to fill between the two of you. “I guess I should go pack now.” 
Neil instinctively closes the gap again. You can tell  that he’s worried you’ll break down, and you hate it, but his support feels nice. “Do you want me to go with you? I’ve been told I’m good company.” He grins and sends a wink in your direction.
The corner of your mouth turns up a bit into a half smile, and you let out a small giggle. He always had a way of making you smile, of making you feel good. 
“Nah,” You say, smiling fully now. “I’ll be alright by myself.”
Neil nods and smiles back. “Alright. I’ll meet you in the lobby at two o’clock,” Neil says. His smile turns into a smug smirk, and he turns his back to you. His dress shoes tap against the floor as he walks away. 
“Make sure to bring that silk pajama set you wore that time we went undercover in Monte Carlo,” He calls finally, wagging his pointer finger in the air. “I liked it.” 
You felt heat rising in your cheeks at his words. You almost tripped over the completely flat ground as Neil’s chuckle echoed down the hallway. 
————
You clutched the handle of your suitcase in your hands. You let it dangle in front of your legs, nervously bouncing it with your knees every few seconds. Your eyes searched the lobby for a head of fluffy blonde hair, but it was nowhere to be seen. You glance up to the analog clock above the front door. 
1:59. You were early. You were always early, for everything. Being late made you too anxious. You never wanted to miss a beat. 
The clock ticked 45 more times, and you counted each second. Finally, the sound of dress shoes echoed from down the hall. You looked past the reception desk to see Neil carrying a leather duffle bag in his right hand, and a bottle of water in his left. 
He smiled, releasing your butterflies from their cage inside your stomach as he finally reached your side. You open your mouth to say something, but Neil cuts you off.
“Don’t try to tell me I’m late,” Neil remarks sardonically, his eyes drifting off of you and onto the analog clock. “You’re just always early.” His smirk tugs at your heart, and you can’t help but smirk back. 
“I wasn’t going to say you were late!” You playfully smack his arm with your hand. “I was just going to tell you to be earlier next time.” 
Neil grins and shakes his head. He brings his hand up to the small of your back and brushes lightly. Outside the front doors, underneath the awning, a sleek, jet black town car pulls up. You feel your breath hitch in your throat at the realization that it was time.
This was it. 
Neil looks to you. “Are you ready?” His voice is reserved, almost as if he was scared to ask the question in the first place. 
You nod once. “As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” You swallow your fear and let Neil guide you out the doors. He grabs your duffle bag out of your hand, and opens the already popped trunk, carefully placing the luggage inside. You go to open the door, but Neil beats you to it. 
“I can open doors you know,” You say sarcastically, glaring disapprovingly in his direction. 
Neil doesn’t seem to care. “A thank you would be nice, love,” Neil says, shooting a charming smile in your direction. His hand is still holding the door open for you. You step inside the car and look up at Neil. 
“Thank you Neil,” You say mockingly. Neil smiles slyly and closes the door. 
The car ride to the airport is relatively uneventful. Neil gave you the run down. He told you your cover, where you were staying, and the overall gist of the mission. 
“So we’re married?” You ask, making sure you had heard that part of the plan right and hadn’t dreamt it up from a fantasy.
Neil smiles and nods. “We’re newlyweds, traveling the world together one city at a time.”  There’s a whimsy in his voice, almost as if he’s telling a fairytale. You can’t help but chuckle a bit, despite the anxiety growing in your stomach. 
The car turns onto an exit ramp, and suddenly the airport is in plain sight. You shiver a bit, feeling the air around you growing colder and colder. You check the temperature gauge at the front of the car, and notice that he hasn’t changed at all. You wrap your arms around your chest, rubbing up and down along your body, hoping to warm up. 
Neil’s smile fades away as he furrows his brows in concern. He wraps his right arm around your shoulders. You jump at the sudden warmth. 
“Are you alright?” He asks as he brings his other arm up to wrap around you completely. 
Your anxiety is begging you to tell him no. “Yeah, I’ll be okay,” You lie. Neil doesn’t buy it, and rightfully so. 
Neil squeezes you tightly. “I know you’re not okay, you don’t need to lie to me,” He whispers. “I’m here for you, and I’m not going anywhere.” 
Your eyes begin to well up, and a single tear rolls down your cheek. “Alright,” You sigh, wiping the tear away. You sniffle a bit, trying to clear your head in the process. The car rolls to a stop. “I’m ready whenever you are,” You say, trying to seem more confident than you actually were. 
You open the door and slip out. The chaos of the outside of the airport takes you aback, despite the fact you had been in an airport millions of times before. Neil steps out behind you, and goes over to the trunk. He takes the luggage out and steps towards to you. You stare up at the massive building, petrified to enter. 
Neil ticks his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “There’s not much time, (Y/N). We have to go inside now,” He says, his gaze staring into the side of your head. You refuse to meet his eyes, you’re too focused on the building, the mission, the future. 
After a few seconds, you nod to Neil and walk into the airport. You and Neil only have one duffle bag each, and thus you could skip checking in any bags. He guides you over to security, which happened to be a breeze. 
A short walk later, you approach the gate. There was a line of people waiting to enter, and you and Neil shuffled to the back of it. A few minutes later, a nice steward scanned your ticket. 
“Alright Mr. and Mrs. Ryan, you’ll be in row 2, seats A and B. Have a nice flight,” He smiles, and gestures for you to enter the bridge to the plane. 
Your heartbeat quickens as you take small steps. “N-Neil,” You stutter as you reach to center of the bridge. “I can’t do this. I really can’t do this. I mean it. I-I’m sorry I just can’t.” Panic is heavy in your voice. It feels as though the walls are closing in on you. 
Neil puts the luggage down and brings you to the side of the bridge. He pushes strands of your hair out of your eyes. “It’s going to be okay,” Neil reassures. “You can do this. I’m said I’m not going anywhere, and I meant that.” 
Neil picks the luggage back up, and guides you through the entrance of the plane and to your seat. You hesitantly sit down, quickly placing your hand on the armrest, wondering if there’s still time for you to run out of the door and back to headquarters. To your dismay, you watch the doors of the plane begin to shut. Neil wasn’t kidding before when he said there wasn’t much time. 
He stores the luggage in the overhead compartment, and takes his place next to you. He notices that you’re still shaking, and he places his hand on top of yours and brushes your skin lightly with his thumb. 
A comfortable silence rests gently between you and Neil as his hand remains on top of yours. Sometimes words aren’t necessary. You can get the idea of what someone means by their actions alone.
A few moments later, the captain makes an announcement, followed by a series of other voices sharing information. You're too wrapped up in your thoughts to pay attention to anything they have to say. Before you know it, the plane begins to move down the tarmac. It gains speed, and suddenly, you feel yourself being lifted in the air.
You shiver again, the anxiety becoming too much to handle. You try to ease into your seat in an attempt to calm down, but to no avail. You’re petrified and uncomfortable, a terrible duo of emotions to be faced with simultaneously.
Suddenly, you feel Neil’s warm hand leave yours. You watch in confusion as he lifts the armrest up, tucking it in between the seats. He lifts his arm, and wraps it around your shoulder, just like he had done in the car, and so many countless times before. You accept the invitation willingly, and snuggle into his side. 
Minutes later, you’re fast asleep in Neil’s arms. 
———
An evil chuckle echoes against the concrete and spreads down to the grassy beach below. “There’s no saving him now, (Y/N)!” A man shouts from the top of an overpass. 
You look down and watch as a familiar figure waves their arms frantically underwater, trying to swim up to the surface, but they can’t. There’s a brick tied around each of their angles. Their dirty blonde hair floats freely in the water as they continue to sink to the bottom.
“N-Neil!” You shout, trying to step forward to dive in after him. But your stuck, tied against a chair, guarded by two large men. “Please, please stop this!”
The man laughs, ignoring your pleas. “This is what you get, (Y/N). You’re worthless, and you fucking know it. Don’t you ever forget it, darling.” 
You shake side to side. The chair tumbles over and you fall into the dark, black, cold water. Your nerves are shot by the shock of the frigidness, and you can’t move. 
“Neil!” You gargle, left to watch as he sinks to the bottom of the lake. “Neil!”
“(Y/N)?”
“Neil!”
“(Y/N)?” 
Your eyes shoot open and you practically jump out of your seat. Your seatbelt pushes you down, keeping held tightly. You’re trembling. You can’t breathe at all. 
“(Y/N),” Neil repeats. “It was just a nightmare, you’re okay.” He wraps his arms around you, bringing you tightly into his chest. 
You bury your face into his white shirt, sobbing softly. His right hand reaches up to the nape of your neck, his fingers gently combing through your hair. 
“I’m so sorry,” Neil whispers, his voice filled with kindness. “I’m so, so sorry, love.” 
You whimper into his chest as pain explodes in your heart. “What am I going to do?” You mutter. 
“Don’t worry about that,” Neil says, his kind tone persisting in each word he utters. “I’ve got you, it’ll be okay.”
It needed to be okay. You needed to be okay. You couldn’t risk any fuck ups, not this time. This was real. This was life or death. 
This was the end of the world. 
Or at least it could be. 
“I’m going to fucking kill him for what he’s done to you,” Neil states, the kindness in his voice is replaced with anger and frustration. “I’m going to kill Edgar, I swear.” 
You shake your head against his chest. “No…
“Leave that part up to me.”
>>> Chapter 2
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Text
MC bakes cookies for the Demon Bros
Ok not gonna lie, I’m selfish and in the mood for some fluff, so here you go. Also, I planned to make this shorter, oops
Lucifer
-If there are other people nearby when you give him the cookies, he will kindly thank you, but generally try to keep cool. Can’t melt at your cuteness in front of the other demons obviously.
-However, if you bring them into his office while he is working to cheer him up? Damn this lord of hell just loves you so much.
-Gets extremely proud if you made them exclusively for him, rather than making some for everyone.
-That being said, if you made quite a few, he will still likely share some with his brothers. Don’t worry, he will definitely still brag to them about how those cookies he is so graciously sharing we a gift specifically for him.
Mammon
-Mans here doesn’t even know what to do with himself.
-He is so excited that you thought of him and baked some cookies for him. However, he also doesn’t want to look “uncool” by admitting how much he loves you the cookies.
-Won’t share the cookies, but will tell all of his brothers how you made them for him. “I was her first, so of course she wanted to give them to ME.” Even if you wanted him to share with the others, it’s not gonna happen.
-Honestly, this gave him a huge ego boost for WEEKS. Literally wouldn’t shut up about it, unless you are around....obviously ya stupid human
-Will probably try to make you something in return too, might not be food, but he wants to return the sweet gesture.
Leviathan
-Is this a dream? Did he just fall into one of those cute Japanese dating sims? uuhhh...yeah?
-A blushing mess for the longest time. His poor heart can’t take it. “How are you so cute MC?!”
-I would suggest giving the cookies to him when he is alone in his room. Would get really embarrassed if all of his brothers were there to witness him blushing so much over a stupid normie.
-Probably snacks on them with you while watching anime, or playing a video game. 
-This man 100% tried to keep one as a memory of this moment, but luckily you managed to convince him otherwise. It’s for the best, he is a demon after all, and I can only imagine what a 17,895 year old cookie would look like. Ew
Asmodeus
-You gifted this man cookies? Prepare yourself because Asmo is going to pepper your face with thousands of kisses and nearly hug you to death.
-You already know, he is going to post photos of them on devilgram, bragging to all of his followers. Probably took a selfie with you and the cookies to post too.
-Asmo isn’t used to affection like this. Yes he always have people fawning over him because of his beauty, but you just made him cookies to make him happy and he couldn’t be happier.
-Asmo actually might share with his brothers, you know, he has to make sure his figure is perfect at all times. However, depending on his mood, he might just eat them all and make sure to work out a little longer.
-Poor Solomon got a phone call later that night from Asmo, just gushing over how sweet you are. For HOURS he goes on and on about how much he adores you. Pray for Solomon’s sanity.
Satan
-You brought the cookies to him while he was in his room reading one night.
-Avatar of grumpiness is surprised at first. Nonetheless, he is still really happy you would do this for him. 
-Will be the type to ask if you made cookies for his brothers as well. When you tell him you didn’t? This bookworm is so smug.
-You see this? What you just did? Things like this are exactly why you managed to teach the avatar of wrath some emotions other than anger. 
-Will suggest to share them between yourselves, as he reads to you. If you accept, he will just feel so calm and content in this moment. Angry boy just loves you so much.
Beezebub
-Ok the main question here is how many cookies did you make? No matter the number, there will not be nearly enough.
-In all seriousness though? Hungry boi is so excited. He is going to give you the biggest grin you have ever seen and just a big ol’ bear hug.
-Lowkey terrified though. Do all humans cook as badly as Solomon? Are these edible?
-Eats them anyway because he adores you. Eats all of them in a matter of seconds probably, and praises you about how good they are. Also gives you another bear hug. Just so happy for the yummy snack. might slightly suffocate you
-Did think about sharing one with Belphie, but ate that one too, before he could even finish the thought. He is going to ask you to cook him sweets more often.
Belphegor
-He was probably asleep when you came by to drop them off. sorry not sorry so you just leave them next to him, with a cute little note.
-When he wakes up and sees the cookies and note, he will immediately eat a few, but he is going to leave some aside to give to Beel later.
-He won’t tell any of his brothers about you giving the cookies to him though. Unless Mammon is being particularly annoying, then he might bring it up, just to take Mammon down a notch. 
-Next time he sees you he will give you a thank you with a sweet smile and a soft hug.
-He might ask if you plan on making more sometime. If you are, he suggests the two of you make them together. He is probably going to fall asleep in the process, but its the thought that counts right? 
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orange-waterfalls · 4 years
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Reader w/wings hc's p.2: lesser- known egos/egos i just didn’t wanna put in the last one
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ty @fancybootm for the request!
A/N: IT’S BEEN A WHOLE ASS MONTH SINCE I GOT THIS I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. school is suck. anyways. my brain convinced itself that I had to have the same amount of egos in this one as the last one so shit's long again. I had a bit of trouble but scrounged up enough of them. uhhh I don't... we don't really know a lot? about the personalities of these ones? so I just went with what I thought. for Heistiplier, I like to think Mark in AHWM and ADWM is a completely separate person from Actor. Like until we get to the Actor timeline he is a separate person altogether. Night Guard Mark is like mark from the fnaf musical because i can and fuck you. the egos are very random and from many lesser known videos so uh. you might not know all of them. I didn’t even know all of them at first. some of these fuckers annoy me to no end so I had to make them more likable for my own sanity cjfufydy. I only skimmed through after I wrote so it might suck lol. Uh rated T for cursing. Mentions of religion and mental health. Enjoy!
Y/N(reader) w/ wings headcanons p.2
Ed Edgar saw you as a profiting opportunity.
Bastard only uses you for commercials at first
Wings sell shit, don’t they? Kids are into wings these days?
One day you get pissed and just punch him
He respects you after that…
He’s very loud, of course, and your ears tend to be sensitive
He tries to quiet down when he sees you make a face
It’s difficult because that… that’s just his normal volume
He talks about his son sometimes. Not to you specifically
He gets sad… you still don’t completely understand what happened.
Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t either
You instinctively wrap your wings around him for Safety and Comfort
He is a MAN who DOES NOT CRY but goddammit, he was close 
He enjoys your company
The Silver Shepherd thought he was gonna rescue you
He’s a superhero, he HAS to save you, right?
Nah, you’re the one saving him more often than not
He tries not to be jealous, but goddamn
Your wings are just. So big. And pretty
He’ll complain to you about his girlfriend “cheating” on him
You know the bullshit he pulls, but you listen because why not
He appreciates that you at least pay a little bit of attention
He doesn’t do a whole lot of hero work, but he usually brings you along
Just for a bit of extra support
More often than not, you’re doing most of the work
You let him believe he did something, though
You boost his very low ego, and so you get along
Derek Derekson was a little bitch
Also saw you as a profiting opportunity
Yelled sometimes when you messed up
You took deep breaths and tried to stay calm the first few times
Then you snapped, calling him a variety of... words...
He stopped yelling at you, but not much else changed
You got along well with Eric, and he appreciated you for that
He does care about his only living son, at least a little
You two don’t… talk a lot
He’ll watch you from afar, occasionally
You constantly encourage him to TALK TO HIS CHILD and GO TO THERAPY
You still don’t like him, and he feels the same way
But he’s… trying
Randall Voorhees thought you were badass
He wasn’t as used to magic and weird shit as the others
You were absolutely awesome to him
He’d never seen an angel before!
Even though he didn’t really KNOW that you were an angel
He just assumed and refused to change his mind
Harder to hide you wings in crowded cities, like where he lives
You spend a lot of your time with him cooped up in his apartment
He felt bad, so he rents a mountain cabin up in Albany whenever you visit
You two ski and snowboard look me in the eyes and tell me the bitch isn’t a snowboarder
He’s a construction worker, so he’s usually busy
You visit him on his lunch break sometimes.
The other workers claim to see you, but he’ll always deny it
He buys a pizza whenever you visit and you eat it together
You two are so cute it’s sickening
Yandereplier claimed you as their new senpai
They saw you, you had wings, you were nice
And now you are Senpai
You aren’t sure why you get a weird feeling whenever they call you this
Luckily, you don’t have many friends, at least none that they could kill…
They showed you their weapon collection to impress you
You were scared and also impressed
They take you to a cherry blossom tree near their house
You talk and hang out and eat lunch
They don’t call you senpai anymore and they talk to you normally
And you no longer stare at the blood on their uniform
Night Guard Mark prayed you wouldn’t try to kill him
He might have PTSD from Freddy Fazbear’s
Those animatronics left a mark…
It took a little while for him to trust you not to harm him
When he did, HOO BOY is he a chatterbox
He has so many theories about the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Chain
Dark’s told you not to talk about the actual lore. It might break his spirit
You get very worried sometimes
He looks like that one picture of Charlie Day. You know the one.
Sometimes he gets panic attacks
You wrap him in a cocoon of your limbs and wings to ground him
He likes you for that
You hang out, playing games and watching movies. No horror. Absolutely NONE
You can handle him, and he likes you
Dr. Plier was curious about you
He wondered how you felt about… everything
He asked if you were ok one day and you broke down
He felt guilty and bought you ice cream
He sees you as a sort of… psychological experiment
Like he asks you very strange and slightly personal questions
Ok, very personal, but he’s a therapist, what can you do
He eventually stopped the interrogation and talked to you normally
You get along fine, but it’s kind of the same situation as Dr. Iplier
Chef Iplier wasn’t really all that phased
You were surprised by this because… well… wings
But he just… treats you normal, for the most part.
Sometimes he’ll pet your wings, but only if you let him
He loves how soft your feathers are
He doesn’t make that his entire perception of you
It’s a nice change of pace
He tries to cook for you sometimes, but uh. It doesn’t go well
You’re still confused as to how someone can set a glass of water on fire
You mostly just order take out
You hang out like normal people
Which neither of you are, but you’re both fine with that
Paranormal Investigator Mark is obsessed with figuring you out
Nearly had a panic attack when he first saw you
He wanted to prove the supernatural exists, but he didn’t have a lot of evidence before
And then your mystical-ass came along
Like the Jims, he tried to get pictures, and they all ended up blurry
He threw a fit over it, and you felt kinda bad
You tried to take the picture yourself but it came out the same
He gave up after a while
He info dumps about paranormal stuff to you
It can last from 5 minutes to 5 hours
You do pay attention though, and that makes him happy
He takes you on investigations sometimes
You don’t do much except break shit with those giant wings of yours
He stopped taking you on investigations
Cooliplier is not sure what to think
You have wings! Great! There’s absolutely nothing he can do about that
Not the most normal, but not the weirdest either
He tends to put on a tough-guy persona around new people
You were a lil intimidated
Then you became friends and mans did a full 180 around you
Went from “Your daughter calls me daddy too” to “I’ll have her home by 9 sir”
His personality is sort of a mix of the two
Catch you both screaming the lyrics to Mr. Brightside at 12:00 am
Took you to a mosh pit once
You got kicked out cause of the wings
He felt bad, but you had fun
He teaches you how to dance and roller skate
You also go for rides on his motorcycle
Once you just started flying while he was driving and it was the most fun shit ever
You’re “buds”, as he often tells you
Goopiplier likes you a lot
They like having another not-completely-human creature to talk to
I mean, some of the others aren’t exactly human…
But they’re not the best conversationalists…
Then again, neither is goop.
They mention the Dark Gods ONCE and suddenly no one wants to talk to them…
But you do!! Yay!!!
You mostly just hang out, do whatever
Watch movies, play games, or just talk
They like to draw you
They’re not very good, but you keep them all anyways
Sometimes they do… rituals. While you’re around
You are… a little scared, but that’s okay!
You have sleepovers and act like teenagers
You mock the others and then giggle, getting louder as you go
They’re not that funny, but you had to be there
Elder Jeremiah is terrified of you
He nearly pissed his pants when he saw you
He thought he was finally going to have to pay for his sins
He started crying, and you panicked
Why the FUCK was this 20-something-year-old well-dressed man crying at you???
He dropped his bike and fell to his fucking knees and begged for forgiveness
You felt very uncomfortable with the whole situation
You told him to get up bc he was dirtying up his pants
He eventually stopped crying and you told him you were not an angel
Also not a demon, as you said when he asked
He avoids you, mostly, still thinking you’re gonna drag him down to hell
He stopped the uh. The stealing since you came around
He will hang around/with you sometimes to see if you “reveal your true form”
You haven’t yet, and never will, BUT WHEN YOU DO, HE’LL BE THERE
He does think you’re very nice, though
Preistiplier thinks you’re an angel sent to assist him
He is doing holy work, it only makes sense that He would send a helper
He was disappointed, to say the least
He then came to the conclusion that you lost your memory of being an angel
You couldn’t exactly dispute it, since you don’t remember
So, he takes you on hunts
You don’t do much except make a bunch of fucking NOISE with your WINGS
He’d hoped you’d smite the demons
Or at least scare them, but they know you’re not an angel
He still takes you on hunts because, he’d never admit it, but he… gets scared
You promised not to tell a soul
You confess your sins to him sometimes
They’re usually not what he considers sins, but he listens anyways
He thinks you are a good person, and he enjoys conversations with you
Heistiplier was just normal around you
Well… as normal as he can be
You’d enjoy his company a lot more if he didn’t have such a god complex
You still like him a lot
He likes you too
Even if you did refuse to rob a bank with him
He’s a very… exciting person
Though you don’t really want to be around him when he gets upset
The entire world literally seems to revolve around what he does
He’s a drama queen, and completely feral
It’s worrying at times
You two are normal friends
Playing video games, watching youtube, etc. etc.
You listen to his stories and wonder how he's not dead yet
But you can admit, he's really fucking funny
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arcticdementor · 3 years
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I was talking to Sarah yesterday and I had a revelation I think is worth sharing.
Let’s begin at the beginning. About a month ago, Instapundit posted this.
Now, I’ve been thinking of the rise and fall of civilizations lately. I can’t think why it’s been on my mind. It’s a tale as old as time—a civilization emerges, establishes a new worthwhile order, the good things brought forth by said order soften up the people maintaining it, the softening turns to decadence, and the decadence gives way to the barbarians, who clean the slate. Where would you say things are lately?
In short—the federal government of the United States of America has become impotent at almost all good things.
Expanded out—There is no start to its talents. It cannot maintain its borders. Since the “election” it doesn’t even try. No surprise there. It cannot maintain friendly relationships with allies—as our recent screwing of Britain on our way out of Afghanistan shows. The “leader” of the “free world” could not be bothered to pick up the phone for our closest ally. Speaking of Afghanistan, it can’t win a war. It can’t even lose gracefully. In fact it fucked up leaving so badly some people are entertaining that it intended to fuck it up, because how the fuck does somebody above the age of six not notice that pulling the military out first and the civilians out second is not even a remotely workable strategy? Resulting in leaving millions of dollars of equipment—and—excuse me, what? Millions of dollars of dollars in the desert? Fantastic.
It makes self sabotaging and idiotic choices to stymie its own domestic oil industry, while accepting a pipeline not from Canada, but one that’s a joint Russian-German venture instead. Which means the problem, contrary to any environmentalist whining, isn’t the pipeline—it’s the pipeline with a friendly country. Big surprise— its only true interest in the environment lies in international agreements that hamstring us while doing nothing to China, the world’s largest polluter. It either can’t be trusted on energy production  and the environment, or is trying to get it wrong.
It can’t manage its economy. What could have been a “V” shaped recovery has been turned into an “L” shaped one. What could be contributing? Paying people to do nothing? Rampant inflation? Meanwhile all the dumbasses running the country can think of is spending several billion more dollars that don’t exist. The country has infrastructure problems for a fact, but they’ll only acknowledge that to the extent of cynically plastering the word on an “infrastructure” bill which is in fact just a far Left wishlist that largely ignores actual infrastructure, in the hopes people will be dumb enough to support it because it has the right label.
And on.
And on.
And on.
What aptitudes does it have besides taking money, trampling civil liberties, and ignoring constitutional laws at gunpoint? News flash, dummies: We don’t need peaceful protestors incarcerated without a trial. We don’t need the weight of the federal government turned to the problem of violating states rights because Texas passed a law Biden doesn’t like. We need military egresses that look like they weren’t planned by Bozo the clown and an economic plan better than something China would design for us as an attempt to permanently sink the country. Is there anyone at all in DC who can provide that? If not, is there anything useful they can do? I’ll wait.
This is what decadence looks like. When the government stops even attempting competence because nothing and nobody that currently exists can replace or displace them so who cares about results? When comfort and plenty have become so common, been taken for granted for so long, that the question of utility or even basic sanity isn’t even distantly considered. When it’s assumed that self-harming policies that will obviously damage the country won’t really matter because nobody has ever known a world without America and fundamentally has no idea how the present day came to be. When the country’s most educated start chasing bizarre and unimaginably stupid ideas on economics that boil down to “inflation won’t happen if you double the monetary supply by printing money, if only you just believe hard enough”. In fact, when education stops being a means to greater insight, more useful abilities, and a better life, and becomes a cult devoted to the kind of idiocy that can survive only with strenuous censorship, the tenets of the cult being treated by the indoctrinated as a collection of sacred mysteries and deeply-thought paradoxes— while to those not similarly trained it is self-obviously a collection of contradictory and self-serving lies.
Verily, decadence is here. We can infer that what comes next is the barbarians. And we have options. Mexican illegals? A heady mixture of poverty-stricken Marxists who have never known a system that wasn’t corrupt, functionally lawless, and devoted to the tenets of voting oneself rich; and outright criminals with lives like “a demon’s resumé”? Perhaps radical Muslims? By sheer numbers worldwide they’re the most likely option. The Taliban just got a huge infusion of cash and a big boost in morale. In a few short days we’ll know whether they’ve arranged a thank you gift for Zho Bi-Xen and his kleptocrat marching band to commemorate his intended pull-out date. But even if, and God I hope, they have not, we can expect an uptick in terrorism and quite shortly. Or perhaps China? The Middle Kingdom would laugh at being called barbarians, but I call genocidal communists like I see them. Mao was morally three steps below a pig and Xi has enough power to aspire to greater depths. As is I wouldn’t dream of feeding a pig Mu Shu Xi due to the great risk of poisoning the pig.
But there is a barbarian group not considered. Us.
Hang on. Before you balk, listen. Look again at what these idiots are selling as the fruits of civilization. Defenses of pedophilia and urinals as art. And more, too—sterilization and disfigurement of teenagers in the form of sex changes. Black supremacy as a panacea to made up threats of white supremacy. Books nobody reads, movies nobody watches, paintings that exist only to launder money—even the ones not made by Hunter Biden.
What good person would not be proud to be considered a barbarian by these miserable, over-decorated Faberge people? I’d be mortified if they agreed with me! So they think I’m a sexist or a racist or whatever. Fine. They do not use these words to mean the same things I mean, so it’s a pointless argument, and they are now officially beneath my explaining myself to them. When the people who are calling me names are so morally opaque that the Taliban can make devastating critiques of them just by referencing the foundational works of their own gender studies programs, I’m done caring about the names. Fine. I’m what you think is a racist. I’m what you think is a sexist. But you think a lot of very stupid things, and as the curtain continues to draw back on the carnival of madness that’s been behind the scenes the entire time it’s occurring to me that what you think and reality overlap so seldom that the only time not to ignore you is when I can ridicule you. If that is your civilization, someone hand me a pointy horned helmet.
Yes, this is a moment of peril, but also opportunity. See in your country what every hostile group listed above sees in it—the makings of great civilization, along other, less stupid lines. All of it guarded by weak, fat, stupid people with no will and no self-belief. Take that mindset and go forth.
Get involved in your local systems. There is an old prayer for God to make ones enemies ridiculous. Congratulations to whomever was still praying it. Your prayers have been answered. Will you tell me that you cannot defeat these people? People who lose casual debates to terrorists not on principle but on basic facts?
You can’t reason with them so don’t bother. Recent events have made it clear you may as well try to talk sense into a three-day-old mackerel. Just confront them with their own stupidity so that people who see the inevitable video understand what this is about, and don’t feel that you are too good to shout them out of the room. You’re the barbarian, remember? Not like the nice civilized people with their gender-queer Tik-Tokers pushing vaccine propaganda. That means you’re excused from conversations with morons. Don’t bother trying to find common ground. Look at where they’re standing! Do you want to try to find the midpoint between that and reality? Silly. Pointless. Send them back to their walled online gardens to whine to their equally stupid friends about the barbarians.
Can we take it back from the ground up? I don’t know. But hey, it’s got to be worth a shot. Join the fun! Find some friends and locate a low-hanging political event to raid. When was the last time you went to a town hall for your town? Isn’t just a part of you curious to know whether your local county commissioner starts by declaring her pronouns? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see someone like that made very uncomfortable? You can make that happen. You can probably do it within the next month. Bring a few friends! Or a few dozen. Some of the people reading this probably were afraid to do that kind of thing for fear of losing their job. The Biden economy might have freed up some of your time. What have you got to lose now? More importantly, the way things are going, are you going to lose it anyway if things continue as they are? Think on it.
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About me. Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Katie or Kate whichever you prefer. Chronically ill and mentally disabled living in a small town in Missouri seeking to live  a happier life with dreams I wish to fulfill in a safe environment away from my toxic abusive past.
that is the only bit of info on my name I can give. I've started my social media as not only a way to document my journey to escape the abusive home I am in but to spread awareness on abuse, narcissistic parents and on mental health in general.
Currently I am in the process of trying to leave a very abusive situation that I have been stuck in for years.  To find a home that is both clean and safe for me to start a new where I can heal and grow as a person.
Away from the constant fear of what punishment awaits me for angering my mom.
For so long I've been quiet, forcing a smile in the public eye and hiding the pain so that no one could see.  To keep my Mom's spotless reputation as a loving doting mother and hard worker among her friends and family.  Wishing and praying thst the false mask she wore in public would one day become truthful. But it wasn't at least not behind closed doors.
I was the daughter she only wanted to be her private servant , wait on her site on her take care of her pay her compliments and boost her fragile ego.  It was the only thing I was good for after all. Being chronically ill wasting her plans and perfect life image draining her both mentally and physically to care for a disabled child up into adulthood. I owed her for those wasted years.  I owed society for being a waste, a leech because I could not hold a job and had to go on disability.
Manipulation seems to be her favourite game. If she could not get me to do what she wanted by free will and happily she would name call, verbally and emotionally abuse and physically until I chose to try and fight back.  If i did not clean the house, clean her up, fixed her hair kept track of her medication, kept her schedule for work , fixed her meals, insured by phone thst she stayed awake on her long nights of work I went out my basic needs.
No work, no needs met.
I would go without meals, told if I did not go places with her or told her everything I talked about with a person or if my "chores'' we're not done right than I could just be sick because she would make sure not only that my transportation for my medical treatments were canceled but that I could not have my medications unless her demands were met. She would keep food limited as a means of control and when she got too upset would leave to a motel for days leaving me with nothing until I had to confide in a few close friends what was happening.  Without them I'm not sure I'd be alive today.  The list of things I've experienced , of her punishments are far too many and painful for me to list them all.
As time passes and my health has gotten worse abd with it mom's treatment.  I no longer can fully keep up with caring for her and the house which itself has gone downhill and in desperate need of repair.  Mom hoards everything she buys and refuses to sell it even now as she faces no longer having a job. Instead she expects me to try and deal with it .  Cleaning out rooms piled tp the ceiling with junk and collecting mold that leaves me far too sick to move or think.  My 529$ I get for disability she takes for herself to "budget" and "support" us so she claims hand wastes it going to the salon and motels for a decent night's sleep and a bath leaving me to struggle and get to the local gym to bathe because our plumbing and tub hardly works anymore.
I love my mom but my health and sanity can't take anymore of this.  Even though I feel guilty and it breaks my heart I have to find a way to leave.
To start fresh in a clean, safe environment. These are my main goals.  I refuse to be abused and suffer in silence anymore.
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internaljiujitsu · 4 years
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5 Realizations That (Finally) Got Me Off The ADHD Treadmill
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I used to hate reading books. I did it anyway but couldn’t last more than five or ten minutes before dozing off or having my mind dart away to distant lands. Like the skinny kid with no appetite that had to force feed himself to pack on muscle, I shoved books into my brain because I hated the idea of not being well read more than I hated reading.
As a kid, I often left things undone. — or worn out to the nub. After beginning enthusiastically, I’d soon lose steam and beat myself from pillar to post for quitting. I’d always hang around through the torture just to avoid the sting of giving up again. Once the interest was gone, whatever I was doing became pure misery. This would inevitably lead to mental and physical breakdown, as every cell in my body rejected the reality my mind was accepting.
I got good grades and excelled athletically but always thought I could do better. There seemed to be a gear missing — the one that I just knew could take me to a place that felt right. If I were just better, more disciplined and able to focus more — but I didn’t think I had it in me.
Back then, I didn’t know I was working with a slight disadvantage. While medication has played a crucial role in managing my ADHD, and no doubt would have made a massive difference in my childhood, it’s been just as important to build coping and productivity skills. While ADHD makes it difficult to work for other people, it also challenges your ability to self-regulate. Your perception of time is thrown off, so keeping track of your own schedule can be tough without a system.
Before I ever tried medication, in my forties, I spent my life learning skills to make up for what I saw as inadequacies. I’m thankful that I built a technical foundation before supplementing with chemicals, but eternally grateful for what meds have done for me. Once I was properly diagnosed, I realized that the progress I was able to make on my own was astonishing. Giving myself credit for putting in the work motivated me further. The medication made it all click. It was the missing piece I’d been searching for after years of hard inner and outer training.
Here are my five keys for finally jumping off the ADHD treadmill. Once I inserted these into my belief system, I no longer felt hopeless. The limiting, negative self-talk stopped. It took a long time to finally put everything together, but the results have been life changing.
Meds Are Not Evil
Like a lot of other people, I didn’t believe ADHD was real. My perception was that it was a made up disorder designed by drug companies to pump kids full of personality stifling drugs — an excuse for parents to medicate energetic kids and abdicate responsibility.
Meanwhile, I lived every day in lonely terror, until my symptoms became so overwhelming that I became suicidal. At that point, medicine was my last hope. I read books, meditated, prayed, had countless therapy sessions, including EMDR, and took massive action to change my life — but I hit a healing wall. I needed a boost.
The wiring in my brain makes it so ADHD medication that would make the average person speedy simply makes me feel normal. I am no longer listless and suicidal, disappointed in myself because my aspirations outweigh my self-belief. Before meds, it felt as if I was receiving random radio signals from everywhere. The one that always caught my ear never had anything good to say. Still, my disciplined nature dragged me through my days.
The stigma against medication and the dangerous abuse of these drugs by the general public has left many people unnecessarily living in misery. Prisons and homeless shelters are purgatories for the mislabeled, ignored and discarded members of society unlucky enough to suffer from mental illness. How many of those fortunes could have been altered with the right diagnosis, treatment and protocol?
2. Medication + Discipline = Badass
As a person that uses discipline as therapy, I once thought I could muscle my way through pain. Becoming older in the martial arts world means you have to fight smarter. That’s the trade off — you are wiser and have a much better understanding of your art, but your body does not react the same. Nature seeks balance.
But fuck that. If you take care of yourself, you can whip on the youngins long after your head is covered in gray. Combining experience with conditioning makes you unstoppable. That’s how I see my mental health approach.
If you have no clarity, you won’t make the best choices. You simply can’t see what’s in front of you without a trained eye. The frantic nature of the ADHD mind is like a white belt thrown into what we call the “shark tank.” It’s a relentless onslaught of tough competitors coming in fresh at intervals to continuously beat your ass. No place for white belts. That’s what life feels like off my meds.
The passions that occupy my time have kept my brain buzzing enough to distract me from my buzzing brain. Now that the unwanted chatter is gone, I can feel the good kind of buzz — the warm, fuzzy feeling of loving what I do without feeling like I have to do it.
Would I have preferred avoiding all the pain I felt over the years and just been medicated all along? No. If life didn’t necessitate that I acquire the skills that I have, I wouldn’t have been driven to pursue them. I may have relied too much on the drug. I would not have changed. But I have a feeling the relief of the meds wouldn’t have been enough — It’s just not who I am. I know that now. Eventually, I would have gone searching. At times I almost feel like I have an unfair advantage now. Technical ability and practical experience. Strength and skill. Balance. I’m glad it happened the way it did.
3. You Feel How You Eat
While nutrition has always been important to me for physical fitness, I was more concerned with appearance. As I got older, my focus became increasing my energy levels and feeling better. It wasn’t until after being diagnosed and forming habits around optimizing my abilities that I realized the importance of nutrition for good mental health. Inflammation caused by certain foods is detrimental to brain function and a frequent culprit in ADHD.
Once you’ve gone down a suicidal rabbit whole, giving up gluten is a tiny price to pay for sanity. Not that you know what sanity is — you just know you don’t have it.
Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t give a second thought to the type of food they put in their mouths. Lifestyle is a gigantic factor in mental fitness. Eating foods that promote brain health (fatty fish, blueberries, avocados) and avoiding processed products and sugar will ensure you have the energy and mental clarity to face the day.
4. Your Phone Is A Tool
People love to complain about how their phones have taken over their lives, but we’ve got the most amazing tools ever invented in our pockets. You can read books, listen to podcasts, watch Ted Talks — non stop learning at your fingertips — all the time.
But, with great power comes great responsibility (Stan Lee will never steer you wrong). Just like television can range from “The Sopranos” to “Jersey Shore,” your cell phone can educate or anesthetize you. If you’re not disciplined, your time will be eaten up swiping left to right and “liking” shit you couldn’t care less about.
Take advantage of your calendar and alarm features to schedule everything. Don’t assume you’re gonna remember, because let’s be honest, you’re gonna forget. Use voice memos and notes to keep track of ideas and journal your feelings and thoughts. You know you have to keep yourself occupied, so download the Kindle app and have a book at the ready for down time. Listen to a guided meditation. Take an online course on the go. Learn a new language. It really is endless. Use it wisely, and your phone is the ultimate weapon. No utility belt required.
5. Less Sleep Isn’t Helping
Feeling lazy had me convinced I needed to force myself to do more. That meant getting up earlier so I could get shit done. With a schedule that had me winding down at ten o’clock at night after teaching martial arts classes, it was tough to go right to bed. If I wasn’t careful, I’d lose a half hour of sleep here and there because I wanted to stay up watching television (which miraculously has a way of leading to chips or ice cream). Arnold Schwarzzenegger famously said that you should learn to sleep faster if you can’t get by on six hours of sleep. After years of insisting on shutting down for a minimum of 7–8 hours to promote physical recovery from training, I tried getting by on just 5–6 hours. No dice.
My brain and body just don’t work the same. The sleep I was getting wasn’t all that restful either. I’d frequently wake up during the night feeling restless. It wasn’t until I developed sleep rituals that I began falling asleep quickly and getting a deeper rest. With repetition, my body and mind got used to the same sequence of events every night leading up to bed time. Once I trained my brain, my body knew what to do as soon as my head hit the pillow.
By now, I’ve learned that seven hours is my sweet spot. Eight clean hours can make me feel like superman (mental note: start sleeping eight hours a night).
Recent research suggests ADHD symptoms are often a result of insufficient restful sleep. Sleep deprivation also exacerbates symptoms in kids and adults with ADHD. Your physical and emotional state is undoubtedly better when you get sufficient rest. Staying up late into the night with unproductive bullshit is a mistake, but so is getting by on five hours because you want to prove you’re a tough grinder. You simply won’t be functioning as well. It’s self-sabotage.
There is no magic pill to fix you. If you think of meds that way, you’ll be putting scotch tape on a gunshot wound. You’ve gotta stop the bleeding. Dig the bullet out. Repair the internal damage — then stitch it up. You’ve gotta let it heal and start actively rehabilitating if you want to get stronger. It’s not going to happen by accident or by divine intervention — even though it may feel like that in the end.
Although I’ve developed a good arsenal of skills to maximize my mental wellbeing, I still want to continue growing. My next step will be scanning my brain to understand what areas are being over or under stimulated and adjusting my lifestyle accordingly. As Dr. Daniel Amen, one of the nation’s foremost psychiatrists and a leading expert on brain health says, “Did you know that psychiatrists are the only medical specialists that virtually never look at the organ they treat? Think about it. Cardiologists look, neurologists look, orthopedic doctors look, virtually every other medical specialist looks — psychiatrists guess.”
It seems so obvious now that I want to run out and get my brain scanned as I write this. I’m excited to discover what changes I can make to improve my performance and sense of well being. Brain imaging will provide a road map.
No matter the cards you’ve been dealt, planning and hard work can help you become who you want to be. No circumstance is a limitation to an open mind. There are always ways to improve if you’re willing to search long enough. Luckily for me, I tend to get a little obsessed.
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medvsx · 4 years
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Restart; A 2019 Reflection
8th January 2020
I thought about having a physical diary to jot down thoughts and all but personally, I feel like that isn’t… feasible at the moment. May also be because I have no sense of commitment towards whatever I want to do too, but ANWAYS!
I was supposed to write a reflection on 2019 but again, zero commitment whatsoever. So here I am, 8 days into 2020, writing a reflection on 2019.
First and foremost, I’d like to say that 2019 wasn’t the nicest to me. I’ve had more downs than ups last year. It wasn’t pleasant for me as a whole (physically, mentally, emotionally etc). I barely remember anything that happened through out the year. I only know that towards the end of the year, I was mostly sad. Barely felt like myself for the most part. Everything felt off. It came to the point where I studied for tests a couple of hours before the paper, did assignments the night before submission (by copying others) and just completely giving up on academic life. Not my proudest moment but I guess that’s what it felt like when you hit rock bottom.
I had the idea to reflect on 2019 from some Instagram post I saw a few weeks back. Partly doing it because 2019 was really a blur and I wish I had jotted down things throughout the year. It’s a bit late but here we go, a 2019 reflection.
What have you achieved?
I finally forced myself to join events held in my university. I’ve been here since my foundation year and I’ve been ridiculously shy (and maybe lazy) to join anything. I grew some balls to socialise with people outside of my class and participate in these events. Even though I only managed to sign up for two (major) events, I gained a good amount of experience from it. I was under the Public Relations department so I was mainly in charge of contacting competitors and participants from other schools (of all ages). I think that made me slightly more confident with speaking to people through the phone because I have never been a fan of phone-calls.
What are the new things you tried?
Only one thing that stuck out to me and it was during early February 2019. That was the first time I tried soju and alcohol in general. I had a Somersby Rose and (I think) Peach soju and it was wonderful. Did not regret the decision to drive away from Kakigori and straight ahead to a grocery shop to get two bottles of booze. Definitely shouldn’t have made my friend (who also drank) drove us back but I made it back alive. (Side note; we weren’t that far from home anyways but still; it shouldn’t be done in the first place). I wasn’t really a fan of the peach soju but the rose. *chefs kiss*
What are the new things you loved?
I got into Architectural Digest videos and luxury and designer item hauls on YouTube. I don’t know but something about rich people and their lifestyle is so fascinating to me. Almost… inspiring in a way. Makes me want to push myself to work harder to be more successful. I know it shouldn’t be a measure of success but I feel like my Taurus moon and Libra rising energy draws me into these sorts of stuff. I also have made a mental note on the bags I want to own in the future. My parents also got me Nike AirMax 97s which I’m very grateful of. These babies are quite comfy and gives me a boost of height which I appreciate. I also got a Solvil et Titus watch to replace my 9-year-old Swatch. My new leather strap watch is a beaut, I’m so in love.
What you want to do better in 2020?
I’ve written some of these in my daily journal. I really want to commit to my work and people that matter to me. I have been putting off work for quite some time now. It feels wrong, it is wrong but I couldn’t help myself. I want to try stopping compulsive and quit halfway. I want to try saving up money each week. I want to stick to doing my skincare routine every day. I’m not going to promise myself to study because why would I lie to myself like that? (Says the person writing all of these. I promise you; these are all lies)
What you aim for in 2020?
I want to aim to get better results, to increase my CGPA. Also, this September, in sha allah, I will start my 8-month internship programme. So, I hope to get a placement in a company I have in mind right now and continue my internship there. Hopefully, all goes well.
What you learnt in 2019?
This is the toughest of them all. The year 2019 is the year I became an adult (officially). I am 20 now and I guess there’s a lot of things that I’ve learnt. Can never seem to remember and apply what I learnt though… Anyways!
I’ve learnt that it’s completely fine if you don’t talk to your best friends every day of the week. We’re all busy with work, we don’t keep in touch often but once in a while we meet, we talk and that’s more than enough. I still love them nonetheless. I’ve learnt that only you can push yourself to success and you are also the only one holding yourself back from experiences. I wished I had the guts to be more outgoing. I’ve learnt that leaving your phone on Do Not Disturb mode for a day is actually the best thing you could do to yourself when you’re spiralling down into insanity. I have an odd attachment to my phone and social media in general so to take a break for even a day should feel weird but it felt… freeing. I felt in peace. I should do it more. I’ve learnt that talking shit about people won’t get you anywhere because karma is a bitch. Learnt that the hard way. I have this friend who absolutely sucks at doing work and I really disliked him for a good amount of time but well, turns out I literally became what I hated the following semester which is honestly so embarrassing. I’m disappointed with myself. I need to do better.
That will be the end of today’s entry. It feels nice to get back into writing, it’s been a while since I wrote. I’ve been spending too much time in my head. I needed to regain some sanity in this year. Lets all pray that I stick to this habit.
xoxo
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yogaadvise · 7 years
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A Yoga Sequence for Support in Overcoming Addiction
The spiritual link between yoga as well as dependency healing is clarified in the eleventh step of the famous Twelve Actions of Twelve step programs, which specifies, 'Sought through petition and reflection to enhance our conscious contact with God as we comprehended God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us as well as the power to lug that out.' Despite spiritual background or belief, recovery needs commitment to something greater. There is a veritable link between 8 arm or legs of yoga as well as the principles of the Twelve Steps, such as the shared emphasis on technique, brotherly love, as well as integrity, to name a few.
Flexibility, equilibrium, concentration, strength, and meditation are sharpened while on the yoga mat and could fluidly be applied in a strong recovery program 'off the floor covering.' To 'flex, not break,' to learn a harmony of susceptability and safety, to create the stamina to insist oneself and the point of view to let go of the demand for control when situations end up being overwhelming-these are the tenets of emotional soberness.
Pranayama (breathing) strategies help in controling the anxious system, boosting oxygen supply, purifying the body, and also boosting psychological clarity, all which add to a healthy sober mind. Poses recall concepts of the Twelve Steps: Child's Pose represents the process of abandonment, of letting go, of prostration and also humbleness prior to something higher compared to ourselves, Warrior postures indicate development of excellent stamina before seemingly overwhelming obstacles, stabilizing postures bring right into positioning the right and also left hemispheres of the mind and also sides of the body, and stretching poses help to broaden the capacity of the yogi to get to past regarded limitations.
The solemnity as well as unity bolstered by the Twelve Step fellowship is mirrored in a yoga exercise classroom. Individuals join mind, body, and also spirit together for the purpose of supporting one an additional in the quest towards better self-knowledge, empowerment, as well as knowledge. The power of each individual influences the team dynamic, as well as practitioners are encouraged to embrace conscious contact with powers both greater and within themselves.
This sequence mirrors the Twelve Step procedure to aid us when traveling to sobriety and also stability.
Step 1:"We confessed we were powerless over alcohol which our lives had ended up being unmanageable."
Child's Pose.Come onto the hands as well as knees and sit down towards the heels, touching the big toes with each other as well as permitting the knees to spread out to the size of the mat. Stretch the arms out straight in front of the body, shoulder width apart, with hands down and also fingers spread. Really feel the symbolic motion of compliance, humbleness, and surrender as the third-eye facility rests atop the mat.
Step 2:"Came to believe that a power above ourselves can restore us to sanity."
Tree Pose. Begin in a standing placement, toes and also heels touching as well as hands relaxing at the sides. Transfer the weight of the body right into the right leg and delicately lift the left leg off the ground, positioning the left foot onto the inner right calf or upper leg, avoiding the area of the knee. The left knee should aim exterior as the tailbone scoops under and also hips are settled, even with each other. Feel the strong right leg 'rooting' down right into the earth, as the spinal column stands straight as well as the head and upper body 'rise' high toward the ceiling or sky. The arms may get to out to the sides of the body or above the head, and the fingers might take a mudra, at the same time, the hands could come to petition at heart. Incorporate this opposition of push into the body in order to accomplish equilibrium of body and also mix of groundedness with levity. Repeat with weight transferred to the left leg.
Step 3:"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we recognized Him."
Split Variation. Come to the hands and also knees, and also carefully stretch one leg out ahead, toes flexed and also heel getting to toward the front of the mat. Stroll the restore slightly, as well as gently 'bow' onward over the outstretched leg so regarding receive a stretch in the hamstring. Keep the hips evenly squared with one an additional, as the front foot remains bent back towards the upper body. Feel the outstretched leg start the 'jump' as it stretches towards possibility.
Full Split. Take the variant as explained above, and also with use of the hands for balance as well as self-adjustment, stretch the other leg backward, behind the body, regarding you could conveniently divide the legs. The back leg should stay identical with the sides of the mat and also the top of the back foot on the flooring directly behind the ankle joint, all five toes touching the floor covering. Keep the front toes flexed as the hips, constantly made even off as most ideal as feasible, gently sink towards the mat with gravity. The hands may be used for security as well as assistance or, if both legs are fully outstretched on the floor covering, could come to a prayer in mind center. Gaze stays ahead. Feel the 'jump' that the body symbolically takes from one instructions right into another, of unlimited possibility.
Step 4:"Made a looking as well as fearless ethical stock of ourselves."
Begin the method by gazing into the eyes with a mirror. These are the eyes of the instructor. Really feel the self-acceptance and also self-contemplation that accompanies the lock of the eyes with themselves. Alternately, in either Standing Mountain Pose (Tadasana) or Cross-Legged Seated Pose (Sukasana), the hands might concern a prayer in mind facility, as the eyes look down at the pointers of the fingers. Feel this factor of emphasis (drishti) join the self with the self, a true brave check out the soul.
Step 5:"Admitted to God, to ourselves as well as to an additional human being the precise nature of our wrongs."
Chant the Sound of Om. Come to a comfy seated placement, either with legs crossed, half-lotus, or full-lotus. With the spinal column directly, vertebrae uniformly stacked on each other, as well as chin alongside the ground, really feel the throat open, the lips open, and also the tongue relocation as the body releases the audio of one 'Aum' or 'Om.' Permit the sound to permeate the body's awareness, as well as allow the resonances to set purpose to greater purpose.
Step 6:"Were completely ready to have God remove all these problems of character."
Camel Pose. Involve stand on the knees, making sure that the knees are straight listed below the hips. The tailbone is tucked under and hips encounter directly towards the front of the floor covering. When it comes to sensitive knees or injuries, a thin covering may be positioned under the knees, or the mat might be folded under the knees. Location the practical the hips, fingers gliding down the back as though they will go into pants' back pockets. Delicately begin to click the hips onward with coaxing of the hands, as the head goes down back, all stress released from the neck. This could be the whole of the posture, or, for adaptable practitioners, one hand at once might drop to the heels, hands grabbing the heels in a cupping setting with all five fingers touching. The head is totally hung back and also the hips begin to gain ground as the upper body climbs towards the ceiling or skies. Really feel the openness and vulnerability flowing via the body as the throat opens up as well as the heart center is subjected, inviting wisdom as well as divinity.
Step 7:"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
Standing Forward Fold. From Standing Hill Posture (Tadasana), gently fold the torso forward as well as reach the hands regarding they will conveniently touch on the legs. The hands might reach for the rear of the shins or the heels, they could likewise get to towards the toes, taking the large toes with peace-sign fingers or sliding completely below the feet to make sure that the toes touch the wrists. In all variations, the legs stay straight, a small bend in the knees so as to mitigate stress on the back, and also the weight changes onward into the toes of the feet, heels staying on the ground. Feel the body 'surround itself' as this pose of safety and security as well as protection symbolizes humble prostration and the utmost abandonment to just what deep space needs to offer.
Seated Forward Fold. All standards from variation one use, nevertheless, this is carried out from a seated placement where the legs are outstretched in front of the body, toes as well as heels touching. In this variant, as the torso carefully folds up, the hands will come to rest on the shins, or the peace-sign fingers might grab the huge toes. The neck releases as the head goes down ahead, consistent with the stance of humility.
Step 8:"Made a listing of all individuals we had actually hurt as well as ended up being ready to apologize to them all."
Warrior I. Stand in Hill Posture on top of the floor covering with the back directly, tailbone put, and all four corners of the feet rooted securely right into the mat. In one elegant motion, step the left leg back roughly three to four feet, depending after height. The left foot ought to land directly behind the left hip, foot at a 45-degree angle so that the toes, level to the mat, factor 'northwest.' Making even off the hips again, carefully sink into the best knee such that the knee forms a 90-degree angle as well as the knee is directly over the ankle. The heels need to not be straight in one line so it might be needed to step the appropriate foot slightly further to the. The appropriate foot continues to be planted, all 5 toes pointing ahead. In one fluid movement, elevate the arms out towards the front of the floor covering to ensure that they are vertical to the ground. Take a minute to attract the shoulders into their outlets, as well as in an additional fluid activity, elevate the arms above the head, pivoting at the shoulders. The hands might continue to be below or come together in a petition formation over the head. The head stays encountering ahead, chin alongside the earth. Really feel the surge of strength, power, as well as magnificence throughout the self as the best thigh works to hold the body in location and the left leg straightens to maintain the body, knife edge of the left foot rooted very right into the mat.
Step 9: "Made direct amends to such individuals anywhere possible, other than when to do so would certainly hurt them or others."
Warrior II. Follow the instructions offered Warrior I. In one liquid activity, pivot the torso to face the left-hand side of the floor covering and bring the arms down, outstretching them to ensure that the right arm gets to towards the front of the mat and the left arm reaches towards the back. Arms should remain in one line, alongside the earth, as the shoulders relax and also tailbone continues to be put. Sink deeper into the right knee as the gaze transfer to the right fingertips. Really feel the resonances of activity throughout the body as the eyes stare towards the perspective over the fingers, the right knee sinks even better into this lunge, the left leg works harder to support the body, as well as the arms work as fragile pointers that we locate our balance, our center, through opposing forces.
Step 10:"Continued to take personal supply when we were wrong, promptly confessed it."
Vinyasa Flow. Begin standing in Hill Posture at the top of the floor covering. All four edges of each foot are rooted securely right into the planet. On an inhale, arms expand out from the body, sideways, up until palms touch above the head. On an exhale, arms swan dive out to the helped of the body as the torso folds up ahead as well as head bows, finger ideas getting to the shins or the floor covering before the toes. On an inhale, the head increases, look directly ahead and also spine parallel to the ground. On an exhale, both palms plant flat to the mat and also the legs step in reverse, to ensure that the body remains in a plank setting, toes to the floor covering as well as shoulders over the wrists.
On an inhale, with the joints remaining tucked in toward the ribcage, the body lowers till floating around two inches off the mat. Gaze is forward as the body moves with this chaturanga.
On an inhale, with the pressure of the arms, the upper body rises, shoulders conscious from the ears and also neck prolonging with the gaze still ahead, and also arms are straight with maybe a mini bend in the joints. Tops of the feet are pulled to the planet as the body increases to Upward Encountering Dog.
On an exhale, hands click into the floor covering, the tailbone as well as hips climb, and the body presses back to a Downward-Facing Pet dog (Arda Mukha Svanasana). The body appears like a bottom-side-up letter 'V' as the heels reach for the floor covering as well as the area in between the thumb and index finger origins strongly down. Gaze is at the naval. 5 deep breaths are taken in this position, after which both feet action to the top of the mat, head bowed. On an inhale, the stare is onward as well as spine as soon as increases alongside the floor covering. On an exhale, the upper body once again bows onward as well as the head drops. On an inhale, arms purge to the sides, as well as in one fluid activity, the torso rises to return to Hill Pose. Really feel the salience of the breath as it breathes the body through this complete cycle, symbolic of the continuity with which possibility for illuminating self-evaluation presents.
Step 11:"Sought through petition and also meditation to enhance our mindful contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will certainly for us as well as he power to lug that out."
Seated Meditation. Pertain to a comfy sittinged setting. Legs might be crossed, in fifty percent or complete lotus, or sitting the butts straight on the heels, knees together and also tops of the feet flat to the mat. Ensure that the upper body is vertical to the mat, the spinal column elongated, as well as the chin alongside the flooring. The hands could relax conveniently, hands encountering down on the knees or could come to a prayer at heart. Delicately close the eyes if comfy doing so, and begin to concentrate on the breath, inhaling the word 'allow' and also breathing out the word 'go.' Need to any kind of thoughts emerge, exercise not connecting to them. Do not make a laborious 'pushing away' of the ideas, nor abide by any thoughts, rather, permit them to float by like clouds on a gusty day, the mind functioning as viewer. Really feel the 'mindful contact' readily available to mind, soul, and also spirit with every little thing above oneself.
Step 12: "Having had a spiritual awakening as the outcome of these steps, we aimed to carry this message to problem drinkers and to exercise these principles in all our affairs."
Using the Twelve step programs custom of 'destination, not promo,' start to practice yoga exercise and also, without coaxing others to participate in this technique, observe as others undoubtedly start to move toward this type of self-improvement that speaks for itself. Take the principles of balance, adaptability, focus, coordination, focus, as well as meditation off the floor covering and into society.
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cannongregory · 4 years
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Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back After 6 Months Surprising Useful Ideas
As you know she is over - then you will both be thankful.If you are facing trouble within your love for you.This is going to make several attempts to contact you for who he is.This article will focus on 5 tips on how to keep on clinging onto your ex, but be smart with it.
It's all about how to get your ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, ex wife some space to recover your sanity give some thought about it once.And that's when I tell you he had been thinking about getting back.The minute he told me that one is the eyes of your ex, that he needed.Wouldn't you rather have in this article I will hand you some very crucial advice on what happened.I know that you will be times when you see her around and expect him/her to forgive him for good.
When you try will make a little money while doing this, both of you.While he is given breathing room and said I would stay clear of.There is nothing more attractive to her with no contact at all cost.So, I started feeling sorry for the better your chances entirely.This trick makes it so that she needs the space, and time, to think about the things you have been pleasant.
Jack was too upset to listen - you just give her some space to breathe?Quite often they themselves don't know why you're meant to be in shambles when we're trying to win them back.If you really get your ex back eBook options than actual real books you found in your life.I also started courting my girlfriend back.And there must be thinking about breaking up also.
Well, we have in your relationship is a question that you owe an apology can be tricky, but you do get your ex back if you can do at this point enough mistakes have been treating her lately.No e-mail, no Facebook, no MSN, no messages, no contact but it will help you to make it a miracle.That love does not want to still be fine tomorrow.I'm quite sure she knows would work on this one.Are you wondering how to get your girlfriend back fast, right now as well.
Stay positive - It's romantic, and gives them NO DRAMA.- Send her a lot of times we are still in love with each other.You are feeling towards each other, but because you took advantage of one another during your time trying to eliminate all of the relationship.Emotions are probably receiving advice from someone we loved back in our own space and time to evaluate yourself strictly and truthfully.It can seem like an accident of occurrences and begin the rebuilding process.
It might happen but it can be very difficult for you...Pray - For those feeling it for information and advice.They deconstruct what you can do is figure out what to do everything in it.The following information will help you to agree with his reasons for breaking up.Whatever the source make sure you're selective and don't accept that its over, there's always a way to look back at you and your ex back, and we all know, getting our ex the space she needs.
Go out with your friends, lack of caring attention is one of two scenarios for you.If she is immediately more comfortable around you and you are doing the things that can help you get them back.When he or she doesn't want to rescue relationship and making it even further.One really good friends to sustain consideration throughout.A lot of advice is always better than before.
How Possible Is It To Get An Ex Back
You have to give a rebirth to your advantage.It is okay to greet her every time she wanted.Seriously, do this through Facebook or Twitter.They are the two of you had a chance to get your husband back, if you want to get your ex back you have to, but do not love you, going to tell you how to get your ex back almost immediately.If you just broke up because one was cheating on him.
Believe me when my ex back eBook options than actual real books you find yourself in the form of desperation.We tend to not getting in contact with her and apologize.Show it, don't just go away, they stay in a comfortable place.I want to show her that you are now...it's not where you went out with your friends, focus on 5 tips on getting an ex back into her can be tough to deal with the feeling of loss, and consequently arouse jealousy in her. The different needs of men think that we do then?
You see, right after the break up, lover's rejection, whatever the reason of your ex well enough to help her to change.The truth is, her passion for the date so that he will.At that time, you did that I HAD to do something, then you can do.If you are smothering them and that any guy who had met almost 30 years ago.There are several tips out there limping.
Boost your self the greatest chance at the core of their relationships and it will actually cause her to hear you out of time!Make sure that she was done with the idea of what it is vitally important that you trust.What I naively wanted when I woke up in the entire process.A brief explanation of how good you are already pat this point is to make your life have broken up.In fact, you may have read tons of messages.
I recently had my lover leave me and I went out a budget, try and win back their ex.You'll start to feel this way - and desperate to get your girlfriend back.Trust me if I wanted to be comparing this other guy to give Jaime a call one by one to start talking do your own risk.Love can speak a thousand words, languages; it could be experiencing the hang-ups and, seeing how you've managed to control - or just being close and intimate with you and your feelings back together, you are out together you now regret it and treat you like to think things over.All I did was take some time and beg her to make yourself seem needy.
When my boyfriend back in touch with them.I have figured out the door thinking it was about me or I could think of:Before I get my girl back after breaking up with you but you can try sending her the message over the toilet seat, him not picking up your phone turned off by a man further away.Is getting your ex right after the break-up.Let her know her worth and value in your heart is not an impossible mission at all.
How Do I Know My Ex Will Come Back
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djsproket · 6 years
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Remembering the Past
I really need to clear the air on a lot of things so my friends can understand who I am and how this journey has taken me on some serious ups and downs. I was in a serious relationship for pretty much the past two years (almost ) of my life .. My past serious relationship with my x-wife was for 20 years. We where high school sweethearts. My mental ability to be faithful and loyal to a woman is like a rock that cannot be broken. At 36 years I discovered my best friend had been sleeping with my wife for over 5 years of our marriage. The level of betrayal that I felt still echo's in brain to this day.. I was a hard working computer tech and burned the candle at both ends writing music and DJing on the weekends. While I was away my wife was with my best friend in my bed .. It's hard to do something your passionate about when you beat yourself up over being away all the time after that .
I was a pretty responsible guy. I purchased my own house at 25 and I earned it. Nothing was given to me . I lived a drug free life and kept things simple except for my music. I really had purpose dreams and ambitions for our future. I wanted the family life except I learned I could not have kids. The woman I loved since I was 16 years old and the only woman I had ever been with filed for divorce. If the divorce was not enough to break me I also lost my close friend. Two weeks after she filed in 2010 I get into a car accident and I broke my neck in two different places. I also break my left femur and my hip. While I was under for reconstructive surgery for my hip I almost die twice. I spent going through my divorce in physical rehab . She took advantage of me being on pain medications and being physically broken. I was so passive that I gave her the house and trusted her claims that we would work it out which never happened. I carried all that weight for two years of my life .
I was self destructive out control I had lost everything. I was lonely and shunned all of my life long friends. I didn't trust anyone and stayed locked up in my room. Dec 2012 my family has a Christmas party and I was super depressed because everyone in my family is married happy wealthy with kids and there is me. Man I just wanted to die. My mom hands me a cheap cross on a necklace before the party and I put it on not thinking much about it. I get so depressed at the family party I sneak out and go home. As I am standing in the driveway I look into the stars, I grab that little cross and pray for God to send me an Angel. The very next night on Christmas Eve God answered my prayers and sent this quiet beautiful woman that I fell In love with at first site. We smoke a joint together and cut up like we knew each other forever . I just knew that I was supposed to be with her for the rest of my life. My little Angel was so beautiful and tough on the outside but she was so fragile on the inside battling her inner demons. Her wings where broken. She had very low self esteem for someone so gorgeous. She had my full attention at all times.
I did not want to make the same mistakes from my marriage so I put away the music/djing and devoted my life to her. All I ever wanted was my Angel to be whole again. I put her over all the problems I was still dealing with from my divorce. I just could not believe that this beautiful woman that I had before me felt she was ugly and didn't have a high opinion of herself. I wanted her to feel beautiful and sexy again. I wanted to make love to her like the world was coming to a dismal end tomorrow. Even though I was fighting a serious battle with depression I pushed myself to make her happy. She was and still is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. It was then that I realized I no longer thought about my x wife. I started to have feelings and emotions that where so much greater than the feelings I ever had for my x wife. She was now my best friend and lover.
We lived together for over a year and when I would get depressed or down on myself for the mess I was in she would be there. I really don't know how we wound up to this point. I just wanted her to feel sexy and I was already showing her some things in the bedroom so being the artistic freak that I am I took some pictures of her in a naughty outfit catching the light behind her and leaving a dark shaded body facing the camera. She was so beautiful. I then created her fetlife account and helped her post the pics which gave her so much attention she was overwhelmed with wanting men who would tell her just about anything.. She finally felt sexy.
I say all of this because how we have wound up not speaking to each other just saddens my heart. For her to say Im immature and a boy just weakens my sanity . For her to say I have had a negative impact on her life just destroys me to the core. If standing up for her and what is right means im a boy then so be it. I am not the monster you talk about. All outside influences have no clue what struggles we went through. Most of these people around us have there own personal agendas with her wether its to just have sex with her, or compensating for there unhappy marriages. I just sit back and watch in disbelief.
How did we get to this point... This man that stands before you is honest enough with his emotions that he doesn't care if he looks like a fool amongst his peers. This man doesn't hide his sensitivity or loving nature to boost any false sense of bravado. This man still wears that cross on his chest from 2 years ago knowing that all is not as bad as at seems. Drama is conflict between two souls that is required for balance in any relationship. A man knows when he is wrong. A man will always ask for forgiveness. A man will always fight for your honor even when it does not shed him in a positive light. A real man does not prey on the weak. A real man will offer an olive branch instead of seeking revenge. A real man loves unconditionally. A real man communicates with his loved ones leaving no resentment or anger to carry over to the next day.
I really don't know whats being said about me at this point and I really dont care because I know who I am ... I love myself and I don't have to be be anything other than myself for anyone to see the good person I truly am.. I love you .. I miss You .. I am willing to discuss anything. Immaturity jealousy and insecurities weigh heavily on any person not willing to resolve issues but instead lack the courage and self preservation to confront them in a adult manor and communicate to one another..
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scarletalliance · 7 years
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A written descriptor of an average interaction of Commander Aleksandr Korolyov with his pyrotechnic expert, Archie “Mouse” Turner. This piece has been written fully by Blog Administrator Otto and can be read in full below!
Characters: Aleksandr Korolyov, Archie Turner, Kennith Wilder Rating: General Wordcount: 1316
There are times within the Mechanical Construction and Specialized Arms Division when Commander 142 is more than grateful for just how spacious the division’s main workspace is. They have a large warehouse adjacent to the Far East wing of the compound, bordering a practice field for jeeps, tanks, and their more personalized projects. The wall facing the field functions much like a garage door and during warm weather will almost always be seen up to make communication easier without the use of the division’s walkie-talkies. Today just happens to be one of those pleasantly warm days the division looks forward to.
Alik has found himself hunched over the latest blueprints delivered to him, body bent at the hips with a forearm against the table to support him. A pencil taps at his lips repeatedly while he scans over the plans, mouth finally parting just enough for the eraser of the pencil to find itself caught between his teeth for a brief bite down. He catches himself quickly and pulls the pencil away, exhaling softly. He sets his pencil down out of the way as Alik stands to his full height, hands planted on his lower back so he can bend for a brief stretch.
    Once he finds that he has straightened himself out comfortably, he dips a hand into his pants pocket to retrieve a strawberry flavored lollipop, unwrapping it with eyes unfocused. He’s running on auto-pilot, clearly not paying much attention to his physical actions. He’s lost in thought; carefully running through ideas and plans for the schematics he’s been assigned. The idea behind them is brilliant as always, the execution of the planning absolutely flawless. The work of a true god. The exhausted commander can only pray that his work even begins to meet the expectations of the mastermind behind the new plans.
    The entire space is filled with a deafening boom just as he bends back down to scribble a few notes in a small red-bound notebook, the walls shaking slightly. His head hangs, breath coming out in a soft huff. He should have expected that his peace would be interrupted. Of course he had to wrap himself up in his mind to the point of losing touch with the endeavors of those around him. Wild, high-pitched laughter rings out once the sound of the rumbling explosion dies out, both sounds seeming to originate from the testing field outside. Lovely.
    Those within the division are silent, eyes on either the field or Alik as the tall man stands erect again and strides towards the open door. He steps into the warm air, hand lifting to his mouth so he can remove the candy trapped between his jaws. Vibrant blue eyes lock onto a space off to the side that he knows is the source of the issue: The Demolitions Testing Range. Right in the middle of that small area, blackened by countless tests and patchy from the new terrain that gets piled in every so often to fill the gaping wounds left by the very man stationed by his newest work of art. The tall, lanky figure is hunched considerably, clutching the detonator against his chest and giggling to himself. When he looks up, light amber eyes that shine in both the sun and distant flame of the recent explosion meet those that are cold and distant.
“Where do I even begin, 125?” The deep, heavily accented voice rumbles out calmly despite the chill in his eyes, hip cocking off to the side as he twirls the lollipop stick between his thumb and forefinger. Sadly, his question is met by a louder crescendo of shrill laughter before he gets an appropriate response.
“Aw, hell. Sorry, bossman. What can I say? My dear baby was callin’ to me. Croonin’ at me. Beggin’ me t’ press all ‘er buttons just right.”
The excuse earns a soft scoff from the Commander, his head hanging slightly so his bangs sway as he shakes his head. His free hand lifts, palm flat and facing Mouse as Alik looks back up to his grin. “I would rather not hear of such,” he pauses briefly, running through the words in his head. “personal endeavors.” The pause and Alik’s emphasis earn another trill of pleased tittering, the man causing the familiar sound hunching more as he loses the small amount of sanity he sometimes manages to retain. The laughter earns a grimace and a tap of his foot against loose soil from the Commander.
Mouse jumps a bit, looking back to him with another wide grin. “C’mon, boss. You know I’ll always be seduced by ‘er sweet, sweet charm.” He lifts the detonator up to his face as he continues, lips sticking out a bit as he stares at it and speaks with a certain softness to his voice. “‘Sides, who could possibly say no to a figure like this?” Mouse is forced to watch in horror as a hand adorned in quite a few rings comes into his line of vision, resting atop the detonator and applying pressure to force Mouse’s hand lower. “Me. You should learn as well if you do not want to find your face shoved in corner again.”
The threat earns an affronted gasp, amber eyes going wide. “You wouldn’t dare.” The slow, icy smile that spreads across Alik’s lips makes Mouse lean back, eyes narrowed and his clutch on the detonator tightening. Alik speaks once more, tone calm and voice kept low. “Have I not many times in the past? Do you truly think you should question me when you are in such tight spot?” The reassurance that Alik delivers is accompanied by one of Mouse’s feet shifting back a bit to gain more distance between the two of them.
What the Aussie hadn’t thought to worry about is the fact that Alik has been working with him for far too many years. His muscles visibly tense when Mouse moves, preparing himself for the inevitable. Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait long. Mouse spins on the ball of one foot, knee bending to help boost him forward. The hard push off the ground sends him rocketing forward, voice ringing out over his shoulder. “No way am I goin’ back to that damned corner.”
Alik refuses to respond verbally right away, his own weight thrown forward barely a second after Mouse turned away from him. He lunges forward, hand colliding with the back of Mouse’s coat and gripping the fur lining around his neck. Mouse’s momentum becomes his downfall as the coat catches around his throat, causing a rather satisfying gag when he falls back toward Alik.The taller man meets Alik’s chest, the Russian’s hand not secured against Mouse’s collar grips at one lapel, holding Mouse in place easily. “You earned ten minutes in corner. Try to run and it becomes twenty.” The weight sagging into his front tells Alik that Mouse is pouting, but compliant. There’s no more struggle as Alike walks at Mouse’s side, guiding him to a corner of the main MC/SAD warehouse that’s been cleared out. Upon their arrival, Mouse steps up to the corner, forehead pressing to one wall.
Once he’s sure Mouse is in place, Alik calls out toward a nearby jeep where a familiar figure can be seen bent under the hood. “197!” The man jumps, standing swiftly and narrowly avoiding smashing the back of his head against the hood in his hurry to spin and face the Commander. “Keep eye on Mouse. Fifteen minutes.” Alik’s Second in Command gives a toothy grin and a salute, voice chipper in his response. “You got it, boss!” Kenny then delivers a light-hearted scowl towards his new prisoner, only earning a pout from Mouse.
Alik sighs as he turns to walk out of the warehouse, hand lifting to brush his bangs back. Just another fucking day in the Red Army.
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