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roadkillremi · 6 months

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11 out of 11

Kinktober '23

Happy Halloween

Sub!Randy X F!Dom!Reader

MasterList. Kinktober '23

Summary : Randy wants you after a few too many drinks. Characters are 18+

Warnings : MINORS DNI, Semi-Public sex, under aged drinking, language, phrase, p in V, unprotected, dry humping(?), Dom Reader, Randy looking down readers sweater. Semi proof-read.

A/N - Randy is dressed up as Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th Part 2, Reader is dressed up as Freddy Kruger from Nightmare on Elm Street.

You held Randy's hand as he knocked on Stus' door. Stu answered with a beer in his hands, the music flooded from the door. His brown hair was gelled down and he has a leather jacket clinging to his figure.

"What are you supposed to be?-" Randy blurted. Stus eyes darkened a bit, "A greaser- Tatum wanted to be a pink lady or something... Plus don't I look hot?!" He did a little spin for you two.

"Sure-" Randy answered trying to push his way inside. Stu stopped him with his hand, "What are you two?.."

"Freddy and Jason-" Randy breathed. Stu tilted his head in confusion, you grabbed Randy's shoulder pulling him back.

"I'm Freddy. He's Jason. It stared with a dumbass argument over who would win-" you explained. Stu raised an eyebrow, "Very romantic-". Randy pushed his way through, he gripped his fake pitchfork in anger.

"It's fine. He's just being an ass" you practically yelled against the crowd. Randy plopped down on the couch, "He's always an ass.". You nodded, you leaned over and fixed the collar on his blue plaid shirt.

"You look very handsome." You tried to calm him down. His blue eyes looked up at you, "Thanks.. you look very hot.". You grinned, you fiddled with your red and green sweater. It was originally Dewey's, you asked to have it and he didn't mind. You spent all day toughing up the edges. Your brown hat sat on your head perfectly. You sat on the arm of the couch, Randy snaked his arm around your hips.

"Why do we come to his parties?" You asked observing everyone dancing and drinking.

"Cause you're friends with Tatum and Syd, and I have no friends-" he answered bluntly. You elbowed his shoulder, "You have friends-". He raised his eyebrows and leaned in close to you.

"Yes, the voices in my head" his eyes were wide. You rolled your eyes and smiled, "you got me..". He grinned and gave you a quick peck.

"I'm getting a beer, you gonna sit here or join me?" You got off the arm of the couch. You turned towards him holding out your hand. He took it, "Fine.". You attempted to pull him up before he pulled you back down. You landed on his lap with his arm wrapping around you.

"I guess Jason wins" he smirked kissing you. You leaned into his kiss, "Sure, just like how you're so dominant in bed-" you teased. You got up turning towards his shocked face.

"That was a low blow." He said pointing his finger at you. You rolled your eyes, grabbing his potato sack of a mask from his overall pocket. You pulled it over his face only showing his left eye.

"Come on, Jason." You grabbed his hand once more leading him to the kitchen. He followed right behind you, "That was still a low blow-".

"Oh, please! You tell Stu all the time about how you rail me" you exaggerated.

"Yeah well it's true." He whined.

"No, Randall. I rail you." You said looking into his one visible eye. You pushed past some partying teenagers. You leaned over the kitchen island grabbing some beers laid out.

"Now let's go shit talk while getting drunk-" you lead back to the living room. Randy happily followed you back to his original spot.

It's been about two hours, Randy was absolutely shit faced. His masked lay forgotten on the floor, he took a sloppy sip of his beer. You leaned against him looking at the remaining people. Randy leaned towards you his forehead resting against your temple.

"Alright, Jason Voorhees?" You asked glancing at him.

"mhm.." his arms wrapped around your waist.

"You sure? Do you need to go home?"

"No" he breathed. He paused for a second, the heat radiated off of him.

"Just drunk. Plus I have a clear shot of your boobs-" he laughed. You scoff pushing him back, "You pervert-".

"No! You're my girlfriend so" he dragged out his so before sipping his beer. You smiled taking the bottle from him. You placed it on the coffee table next to all the other bottles.

"You know the next party is your turn to be a sober driver-" you reminded. He nodded, "Aye-Aye, Captain.". He chugged down the rest of his beer, you looked down at your half full bottle. It was your second one, you sighed leaning into Randy.

Tatum and Stu appeared around the corner laughing. Stu noticed you two and stopped, "I'm kicking everyone out. You two can stay! Imma go have sex!" He smiled walking around announcing people have to leave.

Randy grinned and leaned close to your face, "Bottoms up!". You chuckled before chugging down the rest of your beer. Randy smiled pulling you into his lap. His hands lazily held your hips, "Mm, would you be against sex right now?". You raised an eyebrow, Randy was obviously hard underneath you, you never noticed due to his baggy overalls. The denim of his bulge pushed against your shorts.

"Randy, can't you be patient?" You whispered. Your fingers slid down the side of his face. He gently bucked his hips up, you closed your eyes trying to contain yourself.

"Please?..." His bottom lip pushed out. You leaned down gently biting his bottom lip. You pulled back snagging the lip a bit. His eyes widened at you, his hand got Shakey. You smirked leaning in to kiss him again, "Remember the rules?". He nodded and continued kissing you, his hands digging into your hips.

"Repeat them to me-" you backed up far enough to stop kissing him. He whined, "I know them-".

"Repeat them-" your voice went stern. He took a breath, "Ask permission to come. Ask to touch you.". You smirked, "Good boy .". His lips parted, "But now we're gonna have to add some." You grinned. His brows knitted together, "huh?".

"We're at a party with some.. stragglers." You whispered glancing into the dining room. Some of Stu's buddies were still talking to him. You kinda felt bad for Tatum, she crossed her arms waiting for him to finish. You turned back to Randy, "You know how I tell you it's okay to moan?".

He nodded, "Today you can't. Can't let em hear us. Got that?" You whispered. He pouted, "okay.".

"If anyone comes over here. Pretend you're asleep." You added. He nodded, you leaned into him kissing him once more. He groaned sinking his hands down to your ass. You dug your hips down into his bulge well moving his hands back to your hips. He let out a sigh feeling some form of friction.

"All this for me... Such a good boy" you whispered to him. He nodded frantically, you dragged your hips up and down his erection. He bit his lip holding in his whines, "Want more." He whispered. You smirked, "I need full sentences.".

"I.. want more.. I want you on my cock.." he breathed out. You slowly unclasped his overalls, you lifted your hips causing him to let out a whine. You shot a look at him causing him to silence. You peeked over to see Stus friends gone, you hoped Stu and Tatum were upstairs now.

You sat up on your knees dragging his overalls down past his hips. You laughed softly at his Riddle Batman boxers. You placed your hips down onto his boxers. He closed his eyes tilting his head back. His Adams apple moved up and down.

"Tease-" he grumbled. You grabbed his jaw squishing his cheeks a bit.

"Excuse me?" You lifted your hips up again. He let out a soft huff, "Please fuck me.". You grinned, "much better.". You took his throbbing dick out of his boxers. The pre-come dripped out costing the tip.

"Such a pretty boy..." You cooed. He let out a quiet moan in response. You unbuttoned your shorts quickly getting up to take them off, you took your underwear off as well. You shoved them beside his thigh close to the cushion so they couldn't be seen. You straddle his hips gripping his shaft. You dragged his tip through your folds.

Randy groaned tilting his head back down. You quickly covered his mouth, "They can hear us-". Randy didn't seem to believe you but nodded. You slowly sunk down onto him, you uncovered his mouth. His lips fell open letting out a string of moans. You glared down at him, you grabbed your underwear shoving it in his mouth.

You smirked, "Now that's a pretty sight.". You continued to move your hips in small circles. Your breathing became rough as you tried not to moan. Randy's nails dug into your hips urging for you to keep going. You started raising your hips and falling back down. His eyes rolled into the back of head, you grinned and continued.

His hand tugged on your sweater as you rode him. You glanced down at him with a smile, "Wanna touch me?". He nodded, "Good boy." You lead his hand inside your sweater. He cupped your breast with his right hand, the other was still holding your hip. You reached around your back unclasping your bra with some miracle. The garment loosened in your sweater allowing Randy to move it aside and grasp onto your chest. His thumb rubbed against your perky nipple in circles.

"Mm, that's it... Next time you run your mouth to Stu. Tell him the truth, alright? That you're my little sex toy-" you exhaled sharply. Randy nodded, sweat built up on his forehead. He groaned against the cloth and bucked his hips upward repeatedly.

"Fuck!" Moans spilled out of your mouth. You bit your lip not being able to hold back.

"God, Randy!" You clenched around him. You heard a door slam causing you to pull the throw blanket over you and Randy. You laid down against his chest and pulled your underwear out of his mouth. You felt a warm ooze enter your core, you groaned softly causing Randy to smirk.

"See they're asleep!" Tatum whined. Stu crept down the stairs seeing you two on the couch.

"I swear I heard something-" he mumbled.

Tag list -@hurlonsororitygirls @sanzumylovee @katie-tibo @horneybeach1 @ithinkitszeph

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distracted-milkshake · 2 months

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Markiplier Egos Smash tierlist https://tiermaker.com/create/markiplier-egos-15400970 but I put too much godforsaken time into it. all alter egos in order under cut. fml

From left to right, top to bottom:

Please ruin my life: Engineer Mark (In Space With Markilpier), The Necromancer (Ninja Sex Party), Illinois (A Heist With Markiplier), Yancy (A Heist With Markiplier), Damien the Mayor (Who Killed Markiplier), Bim Trimmer (Cyndago Shorts), Resident Enis Mark

NEXT LINE

Smash: Wilford 'Motherloving' Warfstache (Same Name), Heist Mark (A Heist With Makiplier), Murderiplier (In Space With Markiplier, Part Two), Metal Gear Engineer Mark/Tactiplier/Unnamed Soldier Mark (In Space With Markiplier, Part Two), Actor Mark (Who Killed Markiplier), Porniplier Pizza Delivery (In Space With Markiplier, Part Two), Porniplier Construction Worker (In Space With Markiplier, Part Two), Dr. Iplier (Worst News Doctor), [NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH] Dr. Plier (My Therapist, Dr. Plier) [THERAPIST, NOT MD, severly underrated], Chef Iplier (now we're cooking), Date Mark (A Date With Markiplier)

NEXT LINE, CONT.

Bingiplier (Google Gets an Upgrade), The Host (Danger in Fiction), Randall Voorhees (Santa Spills The Tea), Derek Derekson (Santa Spills The Tea), Dadiplier (In Space With Markiplier, Part Two), Cool Patrol Mark (Ninja Sex Party)

NEXT LINE

Hug:

Captain Mugnum (A Heist With Markiplier), Old Man Engineer Mark (In Space With Markiplier), Colonel William Barnum (Who Killed Markiplier), Yandereplier (MAKING LOVE FOR SENPAI | Yandere Simulator #12), Bop Mark (Markiplier TV), Porniplier Woodsman (In Space With Markiplier Part Two), Porniplier Doctor [possibly Dr. Iplier] (In Space With Markipler Part Two), Camp Counselor Mark (In Space With Markiplier), Annus (Unnus Annus), Jeremiah (Cyndago), Bonesaw (Cyndago)

NEXT LINE

Heehoo (Unnus Annus/In Space With Markiplier)

NEXT LINE

Friend:

Darkiplier (Various), Wilford Warfstache (Warfstache Interviews Markiplier), Markiplier Noir (In Space With Markiplier, Part Two), Santaplier (Various), King Of The Squirrels (Markiplier TV), Porniplier Plumber (In Space With Markiplier, Part Two), Porniplier Lifeguard (In Space With Markiplier, Part Two), Jim (Markiplier TV/Corpse Abduction), I Actually Am Not Sure Don't @ me it's 3am, Googleplier (Google IRL), Derek Derekson (Santa Spills The Tea)

NEXT LINE

E-boy Mark (Unnas Annus), Station Commander Mark (In Space With Markiplier), Bill (Werewolves), God of Night (The Tabletop Roleplay thing)

NEXT LINE

Not interested:

Silver Shepherd (Super Infidelity)

Nope go away: none.

In my quest for knowledge I have found only torment. Endless torment. Mark did all of this. I'm simple a biased observer. All mistakes are me or my simping factor. Feel free to ask for clarification. I will not be taking any questions thanks.

#markiplier #markipler egos #completely unfair things #my huge honking tumblr #iswm #ahwm #adwm #tier list

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shady-the-simp · 2 years

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Follower count: 753

Ask box is CLOSED, but feel free to say hi or talk!

PSA: I don’t control wtf you do on the internet, i’m not your mommy. But, if you see one of my fics and one of the warnings will make you uncomfortable, don’t read it. Also, minors, please don’t interact for your own sake

Anons: 🌙☀️, Roman

Masterlist

Audio Masterlist

I write for all pronouns, specify in your ask which you want! If not specified or your pronouns aren't listed in your account, it will be gender neutral

If i’m not comfortable writing what you’ve asked, it will be ignored. If you want to know if you’ve been ignored, check my masterlist the next day, i add every ask there asap

Who I write for:

Chuckle Sandwich

Certain Slashers (Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, the Sinclair brothers, Herbert West, Billy Loomis, Stu Macher, Billy Lenz, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Brahms Heelshire, Charlie Walker, Patrick Bateman)

Some stranger things (Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington, robin Buckley, Nancy wheeler, Johnathan byers, Billy Hargrove)

Certain band members (Kurt Cobain, Kirk Hammett, Saul “Slash” Hudson, Axl Rose)

Some AHS (Tate Langdon, Violet Harmon, Kit Walker, Kai Anderson, Jimmy Darling, Kyle Spencer[both before and after resurrection], James Patrick March)

Loki Laufeyson & Tom Hiddleston

Joseph Quinn

Alex (adult world)

Some dbd killers (Danny, Michael, joey)

Tangerine (Bullet Train)

The Walking Dead (Carl Grimes, Daryl Dixon, Negan Smith)

The Lost Boys (Paul, Marko, Dwayne, David)

Jack Thurlow (Jack Goes Home)

Gabriel (Gabriel 2014)

Clyde (Electrick Children)

Danny Cooper (Intruders 2015)

Ollie Sway (Song of Sway Lake)

Good Omens (Crowley, Aziraphale)

ViewAskewnverse (Jay, Silent Bob, Randall, Dante, Alyssa)

Motley Crue (Nikki, Tommy, Mick, Vince)

(Thats all I can think of for now. Please feel free to ask questions!)

What I won't write:

Child x adult smut

Zoophile

Furries (idk how it works)

Piss and shit kinks, foot fetishes, etc.

Suicide (it brings up some shitty memories)

This blog is a safe place. Racists, homophobes, etc, Get lost!

-Kai <3

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crazyw3irdo · 1 year

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dear mutual who tf is derek and why do we hate him im behind on my mr iplier lore

sgjhsgjdgjgd this is the funniest way you could have phrased this thank you

derek derekson is. admittedly one of the more obscure egos. he, his son eric derekson, and randall voorhees (unrelated) are all from one specific charity stream mark did years ago lmao (stand up to cancer iirc?) they were just joke characters to plug the merch for the event.

eric started the merch plugs, but he was clearly very nervous throughout the whole thing and fidgeting- it was clear his dad derek was forcing him to do this commercial segment and implied he’s just very emotionally abusive to him offscreen. eric lost all his brothers- i think he said he has 15 brothers?- in a car accident, lost his mother, his legs, and his “ability to have children”- probably more that i can’t remember, but those are the ones off the top of my head, and i think they were all in different accidents too- and derek blames eric for all of it. eric ends up unable to continue the ads so derek takes over and yeah he’s just an asshole.

really just lots of mark’s characters are assholes but we all draw the line at child abuse at least lmao …nevermind just remembered ed edgar okay admittedly i think he may be even more obscure but at least he was funny-

#markiplier #crazwaz posted #audience participation

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titleleaf · 2 years

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How would you sort your favorite villains, based on those three categories?

villains i will bend over backwards to excuse:

norman bates

jason voorhees

qi'ra

every villain played by michael wincott

jobu tupaki!!!!! she put everything on a donut

villains whose complexity in backstory and motive i adore without justifying all of their actions:

cornelius hickey

feyd-rautha

thrawn "thrawn" mitth'raw'nuruodo

i'd say "the grabber" but that implies i justify any of his actions??? well i think being a magician is fine???

MISTY YELLOWJACKETS...

randall "randy" "r.f." "marten broadcloak" "tmib" "i'm stephen king and i can't stop combining my WIPs" flagg

villains for whom i go, "haha, yeah, it ruled when they [blew up that populated star system/hexed an infant/physically and psychologically tortured the kind of pathetic protagonist/etc.]"

brandon and philip rope1948

listen I simply think that ethan hawke wanting to kill more people than Thanos so his goth gf goddess will be happy is fine actually

HAYLEY HARDCANDY2005 give elliot page a gun 2k22

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franklyshipping · 1 year

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Silver: halt! I cannot allow you to approach the Host with such a threatening device

Yancy: oh? That's too bad cause I'm gonna GET YOU! *holds up a giant pizza cutter saw*

Shawn: Is this gonna work?

Silver: permission to dispatch the striped one?

Host: *deadpanned* no need. Yancy will not be able follow through

Yancy: *sighs* he's right, i can't do it. Even if it is pretend

Silver: *starry eyes* Host, you were right! What do you predict will happen next?

Host: w-well. The squirrel king will pick up the device out of curiosity

KOTS: *picks up the giant pizza cutter*

Host: hijinks will ensue

Shawn: maybe we should try-

Bing: wait! King! Don't

KOTS: *pushes a button, causing the giant pizza cutter to start spinning and vibrating, making king drop it as it proceeds to cut around the ground, climbing up the manor wall*

Randal Voorhees: my scaffolding! My precious scaffolding!

Silver: *star struck* wow! What happens next???

Host: in just a moment the scaffolding will start falling around you

Silver: huh? *dodging falling debris* wow! You're amazing!

Host: *slight blush and smiles* next, the cat magician will hold back the falling debris, three large barrels will fall. The irish hero will catch two of them

Marvin: *using magic to hold it up* i got this!

Jackie: nice work ho-holy sHIT- *catches two of the barrels, the third one starts barreling towards and oblivious Eric and Jameson* they're out for their afternoon constitutional!

Host: the blue robot will save them in the last second

Google: *picks eric and jameson up and get them out of the way* you two ok?

Eric and jameson: *thumbs up*

*destruction all around*

Illinois: is it....over?

Host: *sharply* THE SAW! the saw will continue to cut

*saw continuing to cut*

Host: the anvil will fall. And you- you will be crushed!

Silver: hmm? *looks up to see an anvil falling directly over him* AHH-

Dark: *sprouts tendrils to block the anvil from crushing the silver hero, it's caught but dark is clearly struggling*

Silver: *can't move from shock*

Host: the dark one's power is failing. Silver! I'm sorry! I told you you wouldn't last the day!

Silver: well, i'm glad fate allowed me to meet, you! *shuffling back to get out of the way but there is no time left. Dark's tendril's weaken more and more*

Host: *murmurs a narration that pulls silver out of danger and into his arms, they look at each other with bewilderment and hug each other close, happy to be together*

Scene from Steven Universe: the movie

(Mainly liked the idea of host saying "hijinks will ensue")

This is adorable and I LOVE IT 😆💜

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floragators · 2 years

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NEW/UPDATED F/O List!!

Top Romantic F/os:

FNF Whitty (including variations such as Julian and Nitty Gritty)

BTAS and Scooby Doo Special (primarily yet also other variations) Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane

FNF Girlfriend

BTAS (primarily) Poison Ivy

Purple Yam Cookie

Hank J Wimbleton

Chef Saltbaker

Cagney Carnation

Scarecrow (Wizard of Oz and some adaptations)

Bob Velseb (Spooky Month)

Morgo/Mr. Voice (Littlr Misfortune)

Beetlejuice (Cartoon and Musical)

Wally Darling (Welcome Home arg)

Howdy Pillar (Welcome Home arg)

Julie Joyful (Welcome Home arg)

Phantom Blot (Disney)

The Big Bad Wolf (Disney/Silly Symphony)

Megatron (Transformers Prime)

Bender Bending Rodriguez

Fictional crushes/not necessarily f/os sometimes:

FNF Boyfriend [Other self insert]

FNF Carol [With OC and other Self insert]

Holli Would (Cool World)

Rhythm Girl (RHF) [Queerplatonically]

Rye Cookie

PS Darnell

PS Nene

PS Alucard

FNF Zardy

FNF Hex

The Lizard/ Curt Connors

Venom

Brahms Heelshire

Yautjas (City Hunter and Ultimate Predator)

Red Guy

Pyramid Head

Papyrus (including some aus)

Rob Zombie Michael Myers

Reboot Jason Voorhees

Texas Chainsaw 2013 Jedidiah Sawyer

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1-2 Bubba Sawyer

The Observer/Kevin Haas

Cedric the Sorcerer

Ghostface

Chromeskull/ Jesse Cromeans

Eddsworld Tom

Tankman Skittles

Fnaf Sun/Moon

MC Deimos

MC Sanford

MC Sheriff

Fran Bow Itward

Ludwig Von Koopa

TF Bumblebee

TF Knockout

Ghostrider

Micah Yujin

Johnny Worthington III

H.G. Well’s Griffin/ The Invisible Man

Lonesome Ghosts

Helluva Boss Fizzarolli

Platonic/Non-romantic f/os:

Skid and Pump

Baymax

Intruder Plushie (oddly enough)

Splendorman

Asgore

Toriel

Mangle

Pink Pearl

Nephrite (Centipeddle)

Rose Quartz

Ms Frizzle

Flowerfell Frisk

Ruby the red bird

Gojirin

Draculara

Mr Freeze

Jewel Von Starstone (Friend’s oc)

Ariel

Sari Sundac

Custard Cookie the III

Other honorable mentions(aka some of my childhood crushes or on-off ones):

Morton Koopa Jr.

Peso the penguin

Marvin the martian

Manray

Dr Blowhole

Randall Boggs

Frosty the snowman

Black Hat

Bill Cipher

Keep in mind the difference in my definition of like f/o and other fictional crushes is one is personal and shipped with the actual me/myself, and the other, while I do simp for, I prefer on the side or with an oc.

It’s sorta rare to see me actually ship myself with anything other then my f/o. I’ll most likely ship one of them with a variation of my self insert such as Serpente and Joyfriendz

Here’s finally the revamped one! I plan to make another one for my ships and self shipping soon!! In the meanwhile enjoy all these info on my self. This one will be constantly updated ofc.

#f/o list #fictional crushes #f/o stuff #f/o #fictional other #friendship f/o #platonic f/o #romantic f/o #other fandoms #self shipping #comfort character #listing

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royalgamerwritez · 2 years

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Who I'll write for:

YouTubers

Natewantstobattle

MatPat

Markiplier

Jacksepticeye

Crankgameplays

DanTDM

DanandPhilGames

DAGames

Nuke's Top 5

Movies:

Peaky Blinders:

Thomas Shelby

Arthur Shelby

John Shelby

Aunt Polly

Freddie Throne

Ada Shelby

Michael Shelby

Duke Shelby

The Walking Dead:

Daryl Dixon

Rick Grimes

Carl Grimes

Carol (can't spell last name)

Maggie Green (I think)

Beth Green

Glenn Rhee

Negan

Ezekiel

Randall Culver

Henry (each age)

None of the New Walking Dead!!

Horror Movies

Saw 1: Adam Stanheight (He's alive!) Lawrence, John, Amanda, Tapp, Eric Matthews, Daniel Matthews, Jill, Mark, Peter

Micheal Myers

Jason Voorhees

Chucky

Sam from Trick r Treat

Slappy

Billy (Saw)

Billy Shaw (Dead Silence)

What I'll write for:

Smut (I might suck tho) Fluff (if it's what I think it is) and anything else that isn't in the "I will not"

I will not write for:

Rape, Child Abuse (that's it I think)

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fdq666roadie-blog · 2 years

Photo

Meet the egos part 4

#markiplier #santaplier #the host #the author #yandereplier #randall voorhees #richard voorhees #silver shepherd

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inkribbon796 · 3 years

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What a Beautiful Wedding Ch. 1: A Sense of Poise and Rationality

Summary: “What a beautiful wedding” says a bridesmaid to a waiter. “And, yes, but what a shame. What a shame . . .

Nothing bad happens here, I promise.

A/N: The music swells, the curtain lifts. Ladies, gentlemen, and all configurations of being: the show has begun . . .

Titles here are from Panic! at the Disco’s “I Write Sins not Tragedies”.

Okay, so this one’s been a bear to write so this might be uploaded a couple chapters today and the rest over the next day or two.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Eric looked at himself in the mirror as Roman set the final touches on his hair. His dark hair had small braids with tiny beads designed to catch the sunlight. His suit was an off-white color and his wrists were decorated with intricate bangles that kept his nerves from activating his powers and setting things on fire.

Despite the suits and dresses and other formal attire all the heroes were still in their masks. Secrecy was still important and they knew the press would be nearby. The only exception would be Eric, who got glasses enchanted, courtesy of the Host, to protect his identity from anyone who shouldn’t know it.

“And voila!” Roman announced and did a little excited jump, spinning the chair marginally and holding up a mirror so that Eric could see the back of his head.

“Awww, you look so cute,” Patton told him.

“R-eally?” Eric ducked his head nervously.

“Positively radiant, my dear,” Roman boasted, his red dress swishing as he twirled. “Not an eye will be able to look away from you.”

Eric’s eyes widened fearfully.

“Nice going Princey,” Virgil spoke up from across the room.

“They’ll look in a good way,” Roman promised. “They’ll see you and realize that you are the most beautiful man in the world.”

“B-ut that’s Illy,” Eric managed to force out.

Roman paused to think on that, “Well I won’t deny that he’s obnoxiously good looking but now you can give him a run for his money.”

Randall walked in, “How we lookin’[1]?”

Twisting around the chair, Roman grinned as he motioned to Eric. “Marvel at this masterpiece. I dare say Da Vinci nor Monet could have done better.”

“Very handsome,” Randall told Eric, both childhood friends smiling at each other. “Just came from checkin’ on the other groom. We’re just waiting fer a final sweep ‘a the area to make sure it’s alright.”[2]

“Alright,” Eric said.

On the other side of the building, Illinois was fiddling with his bow tie as he checked his hair and suit in the mirror.

“How’s it looking?” Illinois asked, his eyes moving to look at his adopted brother in the mirror.

“Nothing is amiss,” the Host told him.

“Marv still isn’t back,” Chase reminded. “I don’t like it. I haven’t heard a peep from him.”

“The Host spoke with Marvin, he is on his way back to the city with the Blade and the Angel of Death,” the Host took a seat. “While they will be late for the ceremony, Illinois and the attendants will find that they will arrive just in time.”

“Okay,” Illinois took a deep breath. He didn’t touch his lucky coin, he wanted today to be a good day. A perfect day.

He’d been trying to play his safe for months to hoard as much magic as possible. No adventures. No fights. Not even a card game with his siblings.

Because Eric deserved nice things. He deserved to be happy and safe.

After a while Dark checked his pocket watch, and Illinois walked out with him and the Host. The blind seer headed on ahead to wait with the other groomsmen.

Dark waited at one end of a long rug that led to a big outdoor gazebo with a dark wood roof. Chairs led up to the gazebo and had wooden structures protecting it from any accidental rain or glare from the sun. A matching rug was one that Randall would lead Eric down. The two grooms would meet in the middle and then walk up to the altar where Jackie, who had taken the online classes needed to officiate marriages.

The Entity paused, waiting for the signal from the organ that Dark could start walking. But he looked over at Illinois. The young man was looking around, his hand reaching into his pocket and resisted trying to pull out his lucky coin.

In the demon’s mind he thought of little Illinois, barely at chest level, with wide eyes that hungered for adventure but a body too small to take him there.

Dark had never liked thinking about how big Illinois had gotten. It reminded him that Illinois would walk out of his life and become his own person. It’s just . . . it had all been so wonderful while it lasted.

Illinois looked over at Dark and smiled. “Hey, 아빠[3].”

“Illinois,” Dark answered, trying to keep Damien quiet and invisible. Dark had to keep his hands to himself and his feelings out of the way. This was all for Illinois. He took a second to take a deep breath and schooled his features. “I’ll have your portion of the city ready for when you get back.”

“What?” Illinois asked, mostly in confusion.

But then the music began and Dark was offering his elbow. Illinois took it and promised himself that when he could pull Dark away again they’d talk. He didn’t like the tone Dark had taken when he’d said that.

Illinois and Dark stepped in time to the music and all too soon he saw Eric, his hands gripping onto Randall’s arm. He almost tripped when his eyes met Illinois’s.

Then all too soon, they were within arms reach. Illinois reached out to take Eric’s arm and they walked up. To Illinois, Eric looked like an angel he’d somehow snagged out of the sky and convinced to stay with him.

They walked down the aisle and Illinois kept the pace slow so that Eric wouldn’t have a single problem walking down the aisle. Dark and Randall followed them up.

Everything was going perfectly.

Illinois and Eric were looking at each other and Jackie opened his mouth to start the ceremony, when someone else walked down the aisle.

“I’m here!” Someone in a red tux announced. A smile as sharp as glass. “Shame on you, Damien, I almost missed the whole thing.”

Everyone immediately looked at the Actor, Dark got in front of Illinois as the young man was trying to push Eric towards Jackie.

“Get out,” Dark snarled in a furious growl.

“You’d done your job, step aside,” Actor snapped out a dark mass of aura and batted Dark to the side, the Entity slamming into the organ and let out a pained cough.

“아빠!”[3] Illinois called out. Yancy, who was closer, immediately raced to Dark’s side but the Entity shoved him away from both him and the Actor.

“I will admit,” Marc smiled as he waltzed down the aisle, “I didn’t recognize you at first. That’s my bad. But I did try and talk to you, and it’s quite an oversight not to personally invite me.”

Dark pushed himself back up to a kneeling position, his ringing shrill and aura coiling around.

“I didn’t invite you because you’re a piece of shit and you just attacked my dad, so fuck off,” Illinois snarled. He started trying to move over to Dark but the Actor slid into his path.

“Not possible,” Actor smiled, gesturing to himself. “Daddy’s here now and we don’t need . . .”

Actor glared back at Dark, “. . . to be worried about extraneous characters.”

“Get the hell out of here, I don’t want you anywhere near my family,” Illinois snarled.

“Oh, junior,” Marc smiled. “I’m trying to help you. Think of it: father and son. We’d take the world by storm.”

Illinois felt fury, thinking off all the foster homes and awful situations he’d been in, “Even if you were, you can fuck right the fuck off!”

Behind the Actor, Ranboo was trying to inch closer to Dark. He’d been sitting with the rest of the heroes. But he was trying to quietly summon up a portal to get Dark away from the Actor but when he inched too close the Actor spun around and slammed his aura into the young teen, knocking him back.

“If I wanted to take on the peanut gallery, I would have called you up,” Actor snapped.

“Enderwalk!” Virgil called out and raced over to him as the teen slammed against the wall of the gazebo and let out a grunt of pain. Immediately the room seemed to snap out of whatever haze they were in and moved as Marc moved to attack Ranboo again. Tubbo was already the closest.

Ranboo braced for the attack to hit but in the nick of time, there was a shattering of glass and Techno emerged from one of the eye portals. Shield and axe in hand he deflected the shot and blew a hole in the roof of the gazebo.

“I’m gonna have to stop you right there,” Techno smiled. “Come on, kid, I saw you using a weapon before, come on.”

“Boo,” Tubbo moved in as Phil and Marvin raced in.

“Anyone dead yet?” Marvin demanded.

“Bout time yeh showed up,”[4] Chase spat, pulled out his gun, a real one and aimed it at the Actor’s head.

Snarling in anger, the Actor exploded into black mist, making Chase miss his shot and nicked Illinois right in the face by accident.

Actor grabbed Dark and stabbed him with a dragged he pulled out of his black mist. “I don’t like being teased, Dames.”

With a slice, Dark screamed and the Actor pulled out a black day planner. “If you want something done right you should just do it yourself.”

Magic began to swirl around the Actor as bubbles began to form. They swelled in size and began to fill the room.

Bing began to visibly freak out and used his nanites to push Mini and Oliver away with his nanites, throwing them outside the gazebo just as a bubble expanded to snap up the rest of the androids.

In an instant the city rumbled and Dark . . .

. . . . . .

Dark woke up in bed.

He glared at the faintly glowing clock on the distant wall. It was barely a half-hour before he had to get up so there was no point in going back to sleep.

He smiled faintly when he heard Wilford snoring, the man splayed out to Dark’s left. The softer snores were from Chase who was cuddled up into Dark’s chest.

With a smile softening his features Dark decided: maybe he could sleep in a few more minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post A/N: . . . Okay I lied big time.

Accessibility Translations:

1. looking

2. Just came from checking on the other groom. We’re just waiting for a final sweep of the area to make sure it’s alright

3. Dad. Informal, read phonetically as: Appa.

4. About time you showed up

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #footnotes #eric derekson #illinois the adventurer #ahwm illinois #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #Darkiplier #randall voorhees #actor Mark #Actor Mark is an absolute diva #Ranboo #Ranboo being brave #magic #Ericilly #weddings are great

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