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imaginedisish · 3 years

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Feels Like We Only Go Backwards (Tenet) Neil x Reader

A/N: Hey there guys!!! I’m back...again ahhhhh. I’ve been gone for a while (I always am) but hopefully I’ll be back for a while now :) I hope you’re all staying safe and doing well. I know the world is ass, but hopefully things will be better soon. Anyway, I’m obsessed with Tenet right now and I decided that I had to write a Neil x Reader one shot (I love Robert Pattinson, it’s a problem) Also, I think this is my longest fic yet...if someone wants to let me know how to do the “keep reading” thing, please tell me omg. I’m so sorry to those who have to scroll through this. Hopefully I can change that. Anyway folks, ENJOY!!!

p.s pls request tenet stuff. gimme some smut to write.

Summary: You allow your feelings for Neil to get in the way, causing you to compromise the mission and put everyone in danger. (AU, obviously because of the reader insert, and also because this particular scene does not actually happen in the movie). ~loosely based off “Feels Like We Only Go Backwards” by Tame Impala~

Warnings: Violence, mentions of death, guns, blood, wounds, cursing, angst, possibly implications of being “lovers (or friends with benefits)” and luckily fluff :)

Word Count: 4,163 (Please fucking teach me how to add the “read more” thing holy shit)

You storm down the cold, grey, skinny hallway lit with dimmed fluorescents. There was something inexplicably chilling about this place, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on exactly what that thing was. Maybe it was the way the lights reflected against the walls, glowing subtly against the tiles. It wasn’t a pretty glow. It was the glow one could expect to see along the walls of a morgue.

Maybe it was the peculiar, dull ringing that followed you down the corridor, haunting your every step. Maybe it was the simple sound of your heels clicking against the concrete floors, and the idea that those clacks could call someone to your very location and leave you absolutely defenseless. Maybe it was the fact that you only had two bullets left in your glock.

Or, it was because he wasn’t with you anymore.

You quickly shake off the thought that he, of all people, could make you feel better. You didn’t need him. Hell, you didn’t need anyone, you thought to yourself. But still, your mind kept circling back to the image of him popping up in front of you, taking your hand and leading you away to-

You cut yourself off. You couldn’t let your mind wonder for that long, especially about Neil. Still, you can’t help but flash back to just minutes ago, when Neil was by your side, when you made the massive mistake of letting your feelings get away of the mission.

Neil pulled you down the hall, his hand firmly clasped around the upper part of your right arm. He was practically dragging you with him since you couldn’t keep up with his speed.

Finally, Neil yanks you into an alcove, hoping you two can hide for at least a few minutes before running again.

“Neil you need to give me an answer, what the fuck is-,” Suddenly, Neil pushes you against the wall, his right hand presses hard on your hip while his left hand covers your mouth. His face is in yours. Any personal space between you two is non-existent. He’s so close that you can feel his breath on your nose. He’s so close that you can feel wisps of his dirty blonde hair dance across your forehead.

He smirks, “No time for answers.” You felt a twinge in your stomach, like butterflies, or maybe something much more gross, because now was not the time for Neil to make you feel this sort of way.

The worst part is that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He carefully selects each and every movement he makes. He removes his hand from your mouth and places it at the nape of your neck instead, his thumb brushing lightly just below your hairline.

You stifle a quiet moan at his touch. “N-Neil, what are you doing?” Your voice is quiet, but shaky.

“Keeping you calm, I can tell you’re about to lose it,” He says matter-of-factly. Of course that’s the only reason, there’s nothing romantic here, and there never will be.

‘Neil will never feel the way I feel about him’ you think to yourself. You can’t help but get a bit angry at his ability to put you under his spell. Despite your heart racing, despite your brain being bent out of shape by the close proximity of Neil, you can’t help but feel calmer. And you hated that. You were too stubborn for your own good.

He breaks the silence, “Are you alright? I figured you’d have something to say. You said you wanted to talk to me before, didn’t you?”

Before…when you had planned on telling him how you felt. You were going to tell him before. Before the mission escalated past the point of return. Before you had ruined everything. Before Neil risked his life to bring you to safety. You had fucked up this time, insurmountably. It wasn’t entirely your fault, but you didn’t make it much better.

Neil blew the entire team’s cover all to save you. You forgot the script, all because you were far too concerned with how you were going to handle your feelings for Neil. It wasn’t just any mission, either. It had to do with Sator’s henchmen. This was Tenet’s way in. This was how you could get more information. This was how you could save the world.

And yet, you brought it all down. Somehow, Sator’s men believed that you were the only spy, and that everyone else was legitimate. They were going to kill you and spare the others, but Neil practically threw you out of the room and down the hall before anything could happen. The second he grabbed you, gun shots erupted. Now you had to pay for it, hiding in a barely-lit, cold hallway, with Sator creeping somewhere close behind, ready to attack.

Suddenly, the guilt began to overwhelm you. What if this was it, what if you would be the reason Neil would die? What if your actions destroy the mission all together? Tears free themselves from your eyes, sliding slowly down your cheeks.

“Hey,” Neil whispers as he moves the hand that rested on your neck up to your left cheek. He wipes away a few tears with his thumb. “It’s alright. We’re going to be fine, don’t worry-,”

Before he can get another word out, you grab his hand. “Stop, please, just stop,” You plead, unable to take anymore. He has to know what he’s doing to you, he just has to, you think, as your sadness slowly turns to anger. It irritated you that he was able to swoop in and save your day. It irritated you that he was able to touch you and comfort you, despite the lack of relationship that you desperately wanted fulfilled more than anything. None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair that he could be this non-nonchalant while you were practically doubled over with butterflies and other real anxieties from the situation you were currently in.

Neil looks a bit more annoyed now. “I’m just trying to help,” He says, his eyes staring deeply into yours. Those eyes, you could drown in them if you weren’t careful, so you snap back into reality, allowing yourself to feed into your anger.

“Maybe I don’t need your help,” You say, instantly regretting the words as they leave your lips.

The corners of Neil’s mouth turn up slightly, his cocky attitude showing yet again. “So back there, earlier,” He gestures backwards, to the past, “You didn’t need my help?”

You shake your head, “I’m just sick of this.”

Neil’s smile fades away as a confused look finds itself on his face. “Of what?” There’s a sadness in his voice. “Us?”

His use of“Us” immediately takes you back. ‘What the fuck does he mean by “Us”?’ You ask yourself. You were undeniably close, but he never confirmed or denied his feelings for you.

Your stomach does a back flip before you allow yourself to grow angry again.

“There is no ‘Us’, and that’s the problem Neil,” You say, pushing him off of you. He stumbles out of the alcove and rushes back in, closing the space between you and him once again.

Neil gives you a puzzled look.“Bloody hell,” you hear him mumble under his breath. “What the fuck are you talking?” There’s a seriousness in his voice now. His cocky facade disappears into nothingness. He’s frustrated, and it’s all because of you.

You just couldn’t take it anymore. You needed to say it.

“Don’t act like you don’t know how I feel.” Your voice is louder now, and it seems as though you’re practically begging to give away your hiding spot. “Neil I-,”

He covers your mouth with his left hand once again. “Alright that’s it,” His voice is still quiet, “You’re the one that needs to stop now. You don’t know how much I-,”

You push him into the wall before he can get a word out, just as he had interrupted you seconds ago.

You step out into the hallway. “I don’t know what? How much you don’t care about me?” You notice the sudden pain in Neil’s face. You didn’t expect that, but you also refuse to believe it’s real. “I don’t need you, Neil. I never have and I never will.”

You begin walking down the hallway as Neil whisper shouts your name, trying to get you to come back without blowing your cover.

“(Y/N)! Please!” He calls out.

A hand on your shoulder brings you back to reality and stops you dead in your tracks, “(Y/L/N), I’ve been waiting to meet you.” It’s a familiar voice, a voice you’ve heard before. It’s bitter, callous and malignant. A chill runs up your spine as the name of the voice dawns on you. You flinch, quickly stepping backwards and spinning around to look at the devil-man in front of you. Although, you know he would prefer if you referred to him as a god.

“Sator,” You curse, spitting on the ground disrespectfully. You brandish your gun, trying to put on your best fake-confident face. Sator doesn’t know you only have two bullets left, and quite frankly he doesn’t need to, you think to yourself.

Before you can even aim, Sator launches towards you.

You jump back, and turn around to run. There’s no way you could get away from him in what you were wearing. Your black kitten heals slowed you down a great deal. Your tight, black dress made it hard for you to move in any way at all.

Sator is right behind you. You kick off your heels, allowing you to speed up a bit. While running barefoot is much better, you know you can’t last forever. You run for a few more seconds before realizing that Sator is only getting closer.

You turn around, back peddling now. You hold your glock up and aim.

BANG!

The bullet misses Sator and ricochets off the tiled wall. What the fuck? You think to yourself as the bullet falls to the ground. The walls must be bullet proof or something.

Sator is almost within an arm’s reach of you. You lift your gun again and take aim.

BANG!

But it’s no use. you miss again. This time, the bullet hits such an angle that it comes back straight towards you. It grazes against your left side.

“FUCK!” You cry out in pain, stumbling a bit. You try your best to continue running, but the pain is far too great to keep going. You feel your legs starting to give out. You crumble to the ground, letting a small whimper of pain escape your lips. You grab your side, blood draining into your hands and onto the floor.

Sator chuckles maliciously. “You seriously thought you could get away? This is my place. You’re playing in my world,” He shakes his head and reaches for his gun. He points the weapon directly at your head,

“And just so you know, I’m God here.”

Tears form in your eyes as you hear the gun cock. You brace yourself for impact as your thoughts find their way back to Neil. You hate how you left things, especially considering that would be the last conversation he ever had with you. Guilt began to grow heavy in your stomach.

What a way to die, totally and completely guilty, a failure, and alone, You think to yourself, as tears fall down your cheeks.

Sator chuckles again. “Crying are we know? Too late for tears, (Y/N). I think you’re all out of time.” You shudder at his words and you prepare for this moment to be your last, shutting your eyes tightly.

“No! (Y/N)!” A familiar voice cries out from behind you.

BANG!

You open your eyes to see Sator standing in his place, the gun now pointing above your head. You look down and see a single bullet right next to you. It must have ricochetted off the wall, just like yours did. But where did it come from? You think.

Turning around slowly, you spot who Sator is pointing his gun towards.

“N-Neil,” You stutter, wincing in pain simply from talking. His gun points back at Sator. His eyes nervously look you up and down. This was far different from when the evening started. You remembered the way Neil looked at you when you had finished getting ready. You remember how he knocked on the door to your hotel room and let himself in. He didn’t wait for you to give him the okay.

“Wow,” Neil said, taken back by your tight, little black dress. He looked you up and down, seemingly removing each article of clothing in his head. “You look incredible.”

You missed that moment now. You wish you could just go back. But now you were faced with reality, with a gun in your face.

Sator looks down at you, and back up to Neil. “I think I’ll let you watch her die, and only after you watch her take her last breath, I’ll kill you too. How’s that?”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Neil states confidently. You look up at him, confused.

Just as Sator pulls the trigger, Neil grabs your arm and slides you out of the way.

In the near distance, just a short ways behind Sator, you see a fiery cloud of orange erupt, followed by a massive boom. Neil somehow was able to orchestrate some sort of explosion.

Sator stops in his tracks and turns to look behind him, giving Neil just enough time to pick you up and run down the hallway, turning down a series of other corridors in an attempt to outrun Sator.

It isn’t long before Neil realizes that you’re bleeding onto him. “H-holy shit,” He looks down to your left side. “I need to get you out of here.”

You ignore what he’s saying. “Why did you come back for me?” You whisper to Neil.

He steals a quick look at you as he continues to run down the hallway, but he doesn’t answer your question.

You clear your throat and try again. “Why did you come back?”

He ignores you again as you approach an intersection of 3 hallways, each one looking the exact same as the one you’re currently in. Neil pauses for a second, contemplating his options. His heart is beating out of his chest. You’ve never seen him this nervous. While you had only been at Tenet for about half a year now, you had grown to know Neil far too well. The stolen moments you shared, the kisses you swore to tell no one about. You didn’t know what you were with Neil. You didn’t know if this was superficial or real to him. But, you knew his emotions like you knew the back of your hand. You could tell he was panicking. You had never seen him quite like this. Something was different. Suddenly, Neil grunts and choses to go down the hallway to your right.

You wanted to say something to him, to talk to him, but you felt yourself falling in and out of consciousness. You knew you needed to stay awake. Neil looked down to check on you and immediately noticed your condition.

“Stay with me, okay?” He begged. You had never heard Neil talk like this before. “Please stay with me. I’m right here, it’s going to be okay.” He started to pick up his pace, practically sprinting down the hallway now.

“N-Neil?” You managed to call out to him.

“Yes, darling?” He responded between gasps for air. You could tell that he was getting tired.

“Are you okay?” You ask, looking around his body for any signs of blood or even for a possible gun shot wound.

Neil starts to slow down a bit. He looks down at you again, “I’m alright. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“You’re not actually worried, are you?” You ask.

Neil stops for a second, completely out of breath. He takes this as an opportunity to look at your injuries again. He puts his hand over your wound and feels all the blood that’s there. He shakes his head, clearly nervous about how much blood you’ve lost. He readjusts his hold on you, making sure you’re secured in his arms.

He brings his face closer to yours. “Fuck, of course I’m worried about you,” He says in a stern tone. He seems annoyed at the thought that you didn’t know he cared about you. “What the fuck would make you think otherwise?” He isn’t just annoyed now, he’s angry, yet he doesn’t take his face away from yours. You can feel his breath on your nose, just like you did before. The wisps of his hair greet your forehead again too.

“I-I guess I just don’t know how to read you,” You say, taking a deep breath once you finish your sentence. Neil quickly picked up on your labored breathing and began to jog again.

There’s silence for just a few seconds before Neil finds the right words to say. “I came back for you because I care about you. The second you left I chased after you. You were just far too quick for me.”

Your heart flutters in your chest. You didn’t know how much he cared for you. You figured he only saw you as a member of the team, a coworker, a girl to flirt with, someone he had to care for out of convenience and association. The way he was speaking now lead you to believe that he cared for you far beyond that. You stare up into his blue eyes, gathering the courage to finally confess how you feel to him. You felt yourself slipping more quickly out of consciousness, and you desperately wanted him to know how you felt.

“Neil, I just want you to know that-,”

Your words are interrupted by the loud swinging of a door. Suddenly, you’re outside the now flaming building and in the bitter, dark night. The wind whips and nips at your bare skin. You take a quick look around and remember that you’re in Amsterdam. At least it’s a pretty place to die, You think to yourself. You shiver as the wind attacks you again.

Neil notices how cold you are. He sets you down on a nearby bench and takes his brown suit jacket off, draping it over you. He picks you up and starts jogging again.

Just a short ways up the street is the BMW he had been driving for the mission. He opens the car door with one hand, making sure to keep you nestled into his chest with the other. He puts you down on the passenger’s seat, buckles you in, and carefully shuts the door.

When he gets in on the other side, he sees you drifting off again. “Come on, (Y/N), stay with me, please,” He pleads. He leans over to you and gently kisses your forehead. Your eyelids throw themselves open as Neil’s lips leave your skin. He starts the car engine and begins to drive away. He doesn’t say a thing, but you can’t stop thinking about what just happened.

“What was that?” You ask, wondering if he simply did that to distract you, to wake you up. He had to know what effect he had on you.

Neil doesn’t say a thing. He only speeds up, blasting through red lights and ignoring stop signs. You look over at him. He looks like an absolute mad man. His dirty blonde hair is a mess. Dark, purple bags rest under his blue eyes.

At one point, Neil turns the on the radio and glances at you. “Try to listen to some music, maybe it can keep you awake.” Or maybe his concern for your well being could be enough motivation for you.

It feels like I only go backwards baby,

Every part of me says, “Go ahead”

I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again,

Feels like we only go backwards, darling.

Neil somehow gets even faster. You notice that he’s pushing the gas pedal all the way into the floor of the car. You manage to get out one final sentence before losing consciousness, “If I don’t die from this wound, I might die from your driving.”

Then, your eyes shut and the whole world goes black.

——

Your eyes feel like they’re glued shut, but you force them to open. There’s an arm pulling you in tightly to a firm, warm chest. You inhale deeply, instantly recognizing the scent.

It was Neil. His face was right in front of yours. He looked so calm, so relaxed. Either this was Heaven, or he somehow managed to save your life from his hotel room. You were hoping it was the latter. You wanted this to be real life.

Neil began to stir about a bit, but his arm never left your back. In fact, the more he stirs, the closer you seem to get to him. You decide to take it all in, because you know reality is going to come crashing down eventually. You know Neil is going to back off of you, apologize, and quickly say that he was merely watching over you to make sure you weren’t dying and didn’t mean to fall asleep. There was no way that he meant to hold you like that.

“Good morning,” Neil said casually, not taking his arm off of you. He manages to pull you even closer still. Now your noses are touching. A playful smile stretches across Neil’s lips.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You’re shocked, too shocked to say a thing.

Your silence makes Neil concerned, “What’s wrong? Did I do something? Are you in pain?”

You smile at him, “No, everything is okay. Of course I’m in pain, but this feels good.” Neil’s smile reappears. But, you’re still confused. “I just need to know something Neil,” You say, as the smile disappears from Neil’s face yet again.

“What’s the matter?” He asks as he draws letters on your back, or at least that’s what it feels as though he’s doing.

You shake your head slightly. “Nothing is the matter,” You pause, recalling the events of the previous night. “It’s just, am I okay? How much blood did I loose? And Neil I need to know how you feel about-,”

Neil abruptly cuts your rambling off, “You’re alright. I took care of you after you passed out. I cleaned out the wound and sowed you up. It was easier to do with you asleep, to be honest. I don’t think you would’ve like it very much,” Neil grins before continuing, “Luckily your heart rate stayed completely stable the whole time.”

You nod your head, waiting for him to address the half asked question towards the end of your rambling that he seemed to get the understanding of. But, there’s no response.

You decide it’s time to say something. It can’t wait any longer. “Neil, I need to know what all this means. I need to know how you feel about me.”

“Likewise,” He returns, but there’s no grin upon his face. He’s serious, if not somber.

Regardless, you’re annoyed. “Likewise?” You repeat back to him. “I’ve liked you since the second I saw you, and I feel as though I’ve made that abundantly clear. I’ve given you all the signs, all the hints, and you just continue to play these stupid ga-,”

Neil cuts you off, “I had to sit there and watch you almost die. I worked on your wound all night. I’ve been fucking terrified for the past 12 hours wondering whether or not you would make it. I ditched the team to make sure you were safe, and I don’t regret that choice one bit. These aren’t games (Y/N). Being in love with someone isn’t a fucking game.”

Silence fills the room. Being in love with someone…those words repeated over and over again in your head. You couldn’t let them go.

Neil catches gaze and holds it. He’s waiting for something from you, but you don’t know how to communicate how you feel anymore. It was like he broke you.

You know Neil can’t take the tension anymore, and before you can say a word, Neil’s lips hungrily crash into yours. He grabs your waist carefully, keeping you pulled in tight without hurting your wound.

Neil’s lips leave yours. “Are you happy now?” He asks, brushing where he just was with his thumb.

“Y-yes,” You say, wanting more.

“Then it’s settled,” Neil states confidently. He smiles slyly, as he always does.

You’re confused beyond belief. “What is?”

“That you’re mine,” Neil says, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb. He brings your face closer to his, and kisses you again.

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thesleepy1 · 3 years

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What does Jim Moriarty and the Protagonist have in common? They're both incredible masterminds with blonde puppy dog husbands that they would both kill and die for.

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of-fluxions · 3 years

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heaven is a place on earth.

♫

source: 1 2

#protagoneil #domestic fluff #the protagonist x neil #backwards boyfriends #inverted husbands #tenet #neiltagonist #tbh this was the first thing that came to mind seeing the trailer #no video...yet #literally first time making gifs i have no idea what i'm doing #sorry for low quality

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whereisthebigstabbyman · 4 years

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Tenet + Heavenly by Cigarettes After Sex

#tenet #robert pattinson #filmedit #backward boyfriends #neil x protagonist #protagoneil #Neil #Cigarettes After Sex #heavenly #myedit #lyrics #I've only had these idiots for a day #they just make me feel so much fluff #probably will update it when the dvd version finally comes out but for now i'll take what i can get #for a film that not that many people saw This set is doing pretty good

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sherlockedcarmilla · 4 years

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“The Beginning of a Friendship”

by CarmillaCarmine ( @sherlockedcarmilla )

It was never the right time. Yet they were determined to make the time they had together theirs. Here is my version of the first time Neil met The Protagonist.

E (rating for future chapters), WIP

Translation to Chinese here

Thank you for reading!

(I already went to see the movie twice in the cinema and I love love love it. I’m a huge fan of time travel stories and a big Nolan fan. The fact that these to are just so shippable (bungeejumpable?) is just too good to not write about.)

#myfic #CarmillaCarmine #tenet movie #tenet #fiction #fanfic #protagoneil #time travel #fic #neil #the protagonist #neil x protagonist #protagonist x neil #protagonist/neil #fluff #friendship

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iamtheprotagoneil · 3 years

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hey i'm looking at bright side and i'm really glad that john david fought for our rights and made dumbass nolan come to his senses, and i don't think someone after reading the script could imply a romance between ives and protagonist or he and neil, it doesn't make sense so prefer to think jdw make nolan see that tenet was a love story between tp and neil

hi, friend. i think even in the script (without all the emotions that rpattz portrayed for us in the movie) neil would make more sense as the love interest. kat, imo, looks more than a passing character, a reason to keep the plot going, rather than someone the protagonist would end up with. and ives, as i already said in the tags of that post, barely had any screentime with the protagonist (although there is a bit chemistry there, i will admit that), definitely not enough to make us audience (me) think that there is something more to them (even though i don’t mind them as a crack ship or something lol).

whereas, neil, there’s always a certain implication - the (grins) “no, you don’t”, the “need a hand” spoken without preemptive, the “Neil steps up, DESPERATE“ after neil found out the protagonist was fighting himself, the “now let me go” and everything that follows it. and the fact that neil got a lengthy, bittersweet goodbye with the protagonist truly spoke volume on the nature of their relationship - that it was more meaningful, more impactful than the two above.

perhaps, it’s just the shipper goggles that are glued tight to my face, but yeah, neil definitely makes a better love interest than either kat, or ives. jdw definitely didn’t come to this conclusion, but i’m glad still that he’s got enough sense to steer nolan away from the protagonist/kat route. it wouldn’t make sense, anyways, seeing as kat just got off from an abusive relationship, and cared about nothing than the wellbeing of herself and her son.

#Anonymous #ask #cast #tenet #everyday i wake up and be grateful that jdw was cast for the role of the protagonist #he truly made it his own and nobody would do as good as he did #also you mentioned ives and neil as a pair and maybe i'm judgmental but i'm very suspicious of people who ship them #i mean i don't think they even got a scene together besides the one in sator's turnstile room #where ives stood and WAITED for a hot minute before stepping in and easing the protagonist off of neil #(in case anyone wants to try the 'ives is protective of neil' arguement on me)#and the fact that y'all got a great pairing right in front of y'all with so much potentials (be it angst; fluff; hurt/comfort ect.)#and y'all decided to ship two characters that barely interact?#yeah seems a bit sus to me #i won't jump to any conclusion but just know that i don't trust like that #*my ramblins #also last one #i only saw this after i've posted alicia's aska #and i just couldn't help but answer this one right away #anyways off to sleep now #see y'all in the morning

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neutron-stars-collision · 2 years

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Crack the Shutters Open Wide

Neil x Reader - one-shot

Masterlist

Summary: Everyone knows mornings are dreadful. Or... are they?

Warnings: swearing; and idiocy.

Author's Notes: I've know clue what this is. I woke up one day with a cutesy morning daydream stuck in my head and this is what happened. Shortest ever so that's something worth celebrating ✨Only 2k of fluff (and chaos), bringing back my two idiots and their perfect dog. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think 💕

You never liked mornings. But then Neil happened. And Stalsk-12. And inversion, Tenet, and life you never imagined. And along with it, mornings changed too.

Even if you still were not a fan of those.

The harsh alarm pierced the cosy dream and shattered the surroundings mercilessly. Your mind landed back among the soft covers and warmth of the body next to yours. Too soon. With a groan, you extended a hand to try and find the phone blindly and shut it up. But you never got as far. Before you could reach the bedside table, the alarm had been cut off with a heavy sigh coming from your right. A smile appeared on your face even before you opened your eyes to register the reality.

“Christ- I hate this sound” it was Neil’s turn to groan as he pulled you closer into his arms.

Now that was a good way to wake up.

You wound your arms around his torso and finally snapped your eyes open to gaze up at him. His affectionate smile betrayed none of the ire heard in the previous complaint. Your eyes wandered over his features leisurely, taking in the ruffled blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes focused only on you.

It was always like this – falling asleep in an embrace and waking up cuddling, only sometimes having changed the positions throughout the night. This time Neil had you hugged into his bare chest with both your arms around each other and legs intertwined. With no words present, you just hid your face in the crook of his neck and breathed in the familiar scent. In and out. Feeling his hands caress your back with startling precision, you let out an exhale and replied:

“Sorry, some of us have work on Saturdays. Yes, I know it sucks big time, but I’m afraid people won’t recruit themselves” bemoaning the subject, you watched as your fingers trailed down Neil’s side and over the scars.

It was not an ideal plan for the weekend, but a job has been given, and you would not dare oppose Wheeler’s wishes. Plus, it did sound like a quick affair and one including coffee. Sold. Well, almost.

Because first, you had to get up from the bed. As though following your line of thoughts, Neil tightened the grip and pressed a kiss to the top of your head before dropping the remark:

“Careful though, don’t want you falling in love with a recruit” it was the casual tone that made you lean back and meet his gaze.

It was worth even if only to see the fond look in his eyes and the tinge of insecurity hidden underneath. As if he could believe that was a possibility. Idiot (affectionately).

“No chance” using Neil’s body as leverage, you pulled yourself up to face him, adding the punchline with a perfectly crafted poker face “Only you could be that lame,”

With pleasure, you observed as he gaped, taking in the joke with utter confusion. And then Neil frowned, pretending to inch away from you with a glare.

“Wow, my feelings have been hurt. Deeply” Neil gave you an exaggerated pout and a perfect impression of a moping Labrador.

Laughter was impossible to hide. You giggled as happiness filled your chest, brightening up the outlook and sparking up the courage. There was one last thing you wanted before getting up. Without hesitation, you untangled from Neil and straddled his lap in one smooth move. The practice did indeed make perfect.

Your smile widened upon his double-take, that one second of paralysis before he found his footing and placed his hands on your hips to keep you in place. Underneath the shirt, naturally.

“Good,” you whispered the word with an unhidden mirth, letting your eyes slowly skim over his face.

The stubble, shading the chin, the sharp jaw, plush bottom lip, and curve of the nose. As your gaze wandered up, your eyes met. The piercing blue, lightening up with love and pulling you in with the use of your private force of gravity. Your breath hitched audibly when Neil pulled himself up, letting your body fall flush against his chest and inched his fingers up your chest beneath the material. The trademark smirk curled his lips as you gasped, encouragement glimmering in his eyes:

“Should I get you coffee for that mood? Or…?” the telling pause, a clear suggestion further strengthened with the broad strokes travelling up your stomach and stopping just below your breasts.

A frustrated sigh caught in your throat as you watched him, suddenly eager to forget about the work and let the situation develop as it should. But… There was time.

Carefully, you allowed your hand to run up his chest, feeling the warmth of the skin and relishing in the way Neil’s breath grew shallow. In the current position, it was difficult to deny the eternal need. Focus.

“Coffee, though I’d like that second thing too. When I’m back maybe,” enjoying Neil’s trance-like state, you winked and used the proximity to roll your hips against his crotch in a familiar move.

It was enough to make him gasp loudly, hands sliding down to grab onto your hips and help you notice how excited the potential made him. The realisation still made you blush furiously, feeling your arousal collect between your thighs.

“Perfect, I’ll be waiting impatiently” Neil grinned as though reading your mind and leaned in to brush his nose against yours.

A break, a moment to take a breath. You were grateful for that, taking in long inhales to calm down the racing heart and centre the senses. That meeting better goes quick.

Neil cupped your cheek, gently stroking down your neck and easing the sudden frenzy to a pleasant hum underneath the peace. It was the moment your eyes met again that made you speak up:

“I really adore you. Do you know that?” tentatively, you mirrored the position of his hand and placed it on his cheek, pouring the feelings through your eyes.

You knew Neil understood from the satisfied smile that appeared on his face. He shifted slightly to give you easier access and tipped your chin. One glance at your lips and a hand travelling down your thigh were all you needed to feel the flush of warmth once more. Gravity pulled you in, inching closer until there was a breath of space left between your lips. A sight of the devilish smirk on Neil’s face, followed by the feigned thoughtful remark:

“That lovesick gaze does give me some ideas, but… kiss me, and then I’ll know,” he whispered, closing the gap to breathe out the words against your mouth.

As if you needed encouragement.

Simultaneously, your hand wandered up to tangle in his hair and prepare for the right angle as you licked your lips thoroughly, counteracting the morning dryness.

“Gladly,” effortlessly reflecting Neil’s smile and letting your tongue trail along the seam of his closed mouth.

His lips opened with a gasp underneath your prying, and you took the invite to envelop his mouth in a hungry kiss. Taking everything as though it belonged to you. And he did. Your tongue slipped inside his mouth, exploring the familiar ground with the zeal of days of starvation. Even though it had only been hours. Neil’s fingers dug into your thigh as he tried to get even closer, responding to your tempo with equal eagerness. Your mouth collided and brushed against each other with the moves of astounding intimacy and ease, pairing with desperately stolen breaths and brave touches. Soon enough, you were both left gasping, tiptoeing the line separating you from unconsciousness if only to extend the kiss a second longer.

As the stars swirled underneath your closed eyelids, you tried to lean back and break the contact. But it was never possible. Sensing your intents, Neil took the matters into his hands. Literally. Before you could understand what was happening, he used the hold over your thigh to pin you to the bed without a notch of effort needed. A startled yelp was all you could manage before he closed your mouth with another kiss. Long and careful, a far cry from the previous desperation. A means of placing the morning confessions on your lips without using the words. A promise of countless wake ups just like this, waiting to happen. It was enough to make you want more. But it never happened.

Neil finished the kiss with a chaste peck, signing off the caress and leant back to let his gaze wander over your stunned face. It was hard to keep the awe hidden from him. And pointless too. Before you could find anything to say, he spoke:

“You’re incredible. Absolutely breathtaking” the compliments were placed with terrifying honesty, painting your cheeks red and making your eyes glaze over.

There was no point in trying to take apart the exact meaning of it all. So, you cupped Neil’s cheek once more and thoughtfully caressed his face while working on the passable poker face. Once that was achieved, you twisted your lips into a smirk and whined:

“God… I need coffee to survive that sort of talk,” a wink to make sure he understood the scheme and a quick peck on his nose.

Just because.

“On it,” Neil grinned, quickly returning the endearment and jumping up from the bed before you could perceive his movement.

You flopped back onto the covers with a happy sigh, hand reaching out for the fateful phone to pass the time. That was not meant to be. As soon as Neil opened the bedroom door, a black cannonball skidded through the doorway and jumped onto the mattress. Oh, dear. You waited for Niki to locate your face and frowned as he extended the pink, sloppy tongue to greet you. Your arms flailed idly at your sides, overwhelmed with the stimulus akin to a cold morning shower.

“Miss, stop neglecting your child” the mock stern tone from the doorway made you look up.

Neil has stopped there, watching you both with fondness in the soft gaze. Still, too much.

“Oh, fuck you” blindly, you reached for the pillow and threw it at his head with deadly precision.

It missed the mark by an inch, landing at Neil’s feet.

“Language” he contemplated the item with sorrow and then looked up at the dog, “Sorry you had to hear that foul word, Nikola,”

It was the full name that got you. Bursting into laughter before you could take a full breath. With both hands stroking the black fur of your juvenile, you grinned at Neil:

“Get your girlfriend caffeine or else-” throwing a glance towards one of the remaining pillows as a warning.

He chuckled and blew you a kiss before heading down the corridor. Turning your attention back onto Niki, you placed a kiss on his head and patted the space beside you, urging him to lie down.

“See, that’s why we need coffee on a drip” the call from the kitchen made your smile wider, easily reminding you of so many similar conversations.

Maybe mornings were not so bad after all…

#tenet #neil tenet #neil x reader #neil tenet x reader #neil tenet fanfic #neil tenet imagine #tenet fanfic #robert pattinson

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inklore · 2 years

Text

𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭!

shockingly i’ve never done one of these before, but there’s a first for everything right??? and since i have nothing to do on this lovely friday night i thought why not?

this will probably go into the wee hours of the night since i never sleep, but if not everything is answered tonight then they definitely will down the road!

here are just some things to keep in mind:

you do not have to send in a prompt, it can literally be a thot or concept, etc. but if you would rather have a prompt then check out my prompts tag

i’ll be accepting them for the following (or check my who i write for info if there’s someone not on this list you’d like to see)

marvel: moon knight (all alters), all peter parker’s, frank castle, yelena belova, loki laufeyson, thor odinson, joaquin torres

dc: bruce wayne, edward nashton, arthur curry

etc fandoms: anthony bridgerton, benedict bridgerton, santiago garcia, poe dameron, cedric diggory, neil (tenet)

feel free to add tropes, au’s, genre’s light/dark themes, more than one babe, smutty, angst, fluff, to your request as well, all is welcome!

no pressure tags: @holyvictim @aphrogeneias @duskliar @cityofstqrs @fluffyprettykitty @ohcaptains @littlenymphiewrites @simplystevies @silver-pieces @wint3r-h3art @tom-whore-dleston @rae-gar-targaryen @greenorangevioletgrass @jettia @kthynes @clints-lucky-arrow @burnthoneymint <33

#blurb night !#moon knight smut #moon knight x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker x reader #frank castle x reader #yelena belova x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #thor odinson x reader #bruce wayne x reader #edward nashton x reader #anthony bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x reader #santiago garcia x reader #poe dameron x reader #cedric diggory x reader #neil tenet x reader

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twinklelilstarkey · 3 years

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Could you write some Dad!Neil x reader please? Like instead of (SPOILERS) dying, he gets to go home and he has a girlfriend, who was pregnant at the time Neil was recruited, and they end up having their first kid.

(I decided to make these two, idk why. I just did it, hope it’s okay. @cherryflavouredlipbalm )

Bug - Dad!Neil {TENET}

Words: 1.1k+

Type: Fluff

Warnings: Maybe some misspelling? Fem!Reader. Pregnant!Reader.

Neil has been on a mission for over 3 months. It might not seem like that long to some people but it sure was for your pregnant self and your son.

Y/S/N is almost two years old and loves his dad dearly, but his absence is always something very sad for him. Especially if he has a mission during a big holiday or one of your birthdays.

Neil tried to be as present as he could for the first year, but after that, his work just told him that he had to come back. No excuses. A year, in their eyes, was long enough.

You can’t judge them too much. Their selection of agents is already small, they don’t want to make it even smaller for personal reasons.

This time, his mission was smaller than it usually is, which can be a plus. But, also, not really, because that means that he can be accepted into another still in this year, and we’re in November.

Now, it’s 4:30am and Neil is finally coming back home. He’s more than excited about this but he hates the fact that you will probably wake up this early because of him.

The front door of the apartment opens and the light from the hallway rushes inside the dark front lobby. Neil drags his bag inside as his backpack hangs loosely over his shoulder, and he walks in his home.

As he was about to turn on the lights, sounds come from the dark kitchen. He frowns and lets his backpack fall to the ground in a soft thud, deciding to go check it out.

Neil walks over to the kitchen and soft patter of feet is heard. He stretches his hand to the wall and light rushes in the room.

The small toddler jumps on his feet, almost tumbling to the ground, at the light being turned on. Y/S/N turns around to meet, what he thought, his mother’s tired and disapproving look, but instead, he sees his dad.

“Daddy?” He whispers yells and a smile stretches over his face.

Neil smiles at the sight of the chubby-cheeked toddler, the chubbiness mostly from sleeping. One of his cheeks is also marked by his blanket, giving Neil an extra indicator that he just woken up.

“Hey bud” Neil whispers and walks over to the kid, picking him up.

Y/S/N stretches his small arms around his dad’s neck and hugs him close. Neil leaves a kiss on his shoulder and leans his head back to take a look at his kid.

“What were you doing here, bug?”

“Water” He explains.

Neil frowns playfully at him and a cheeky smile grows on the toddler’s face, finding it funny that his dad caught onto him faster than you. And that’s impressive.

“Are you sure about that?”

He nods and Neil nods with him with a smile.

He secures Y/S/N on his hip and walks over to the cabinets that hold the glasses. He grabs one and fills it with water. He brings it to Y/S/N lips and the small kid wraps his small hands around the cup, taking small sips of the cold water.

As soon as he pulls away from the cup, Neil puts it down on the counter and starts walking back out of the kitchen. Y/S/N leans into his chest, smelling his familiar cologne, and keeps quiet as they walk to his bedroom.

Knowing very well that when the lights are off, it means that mommy is sleeping.

Neil is quick to lay Y/S/N down and tuck him in before walking over to your shared bedroom. He makes sure that his kid’s night light is on and leaves the door halfway open.

“Good night, bug” He whispers yells.

The toddler lifts his head off the pillow to search for his dad in the darkness.

“Good night, daddy” He whispers back into the darkness, assuming that he’s somewhere close.

Neil walks to your bedroom, and under the dim lighting from the city (coming from the large windows that cover the whole wall of your room), he sees your sleeping form.

He walks over to the bathroom to go and take a quick shower before bed, careful not to awake you with any sound, it probably being him opening a drawer or letting something fall.

In a matter of 10 minutes, he’s done with his shower and already clothed with his new change of clothes.

Unfortunately for him, as soon as he opened the bathroom door and the light rushed in the room, you woke up.

You open your eyes in the darkness of the room confused with the sudden flash of light and as soon as you moved to scrub your sleepy eyes, a voice stops you.

“It’s just me, go back to sleep” Neil whispers, hoping that you’re too sleepy to acknowledge that it’s him, and your eyes snap open.

“Neil?”

In the dim lighting Neil walks over to the bed you’re lying in.

“Yeah?”

“When did you get here?” You ask, sitting up in bed.

“20 minutes ago,”

He sits down next to you on the bed and you’re quick to wrap your arms around him. Neil lets out a chuckle before wrapping his arms around you as well.

He smells just like the day he left, probably from the shower he just took, but that is just as comforting as you had wished.

Your hand lays over his wet hair, making you almost sigh in how much you missed touching it.

“I missed you” You whisper in the crook of his neck.

“I missed you too” He whispers back.

Neil presses a kiss on the side of your head, and you melt at his touch.

“Y/S/N is going to freak out” You comment when pulling away slightly.

“He already saw me” He answers with a smile and you frown, confused, “When I got here, he was getting water”

You laugh at his words and his smile widens at the sight and sound of it. As you calm down, your hands rest over his cheeks and you press a kiss onto his lips.

Once you two pull away from the kiss, a small smile appears in both of your faces.

“How is she doing?” He asks, laying a hand over your swollen stomach.

“She’s doing good” You answer, laying one of your hands over his, “The doctor says she’s super healthy”

Neil smiles while looking down at your hands and your stomach, and before he could say anything else, he remembers what time it is.

You must be super tired.

“We should go to sleep” Neil offers.

“Yeah,” You say, taking a look at your alarm, eyes widening at the sight of how early it is, “We really should”

Neil lays a soft kiss over your cheek and gets up, walking around the bed, sitting and laying down on his side.

You roll around to face him and he’s quick to pull you close to him. And in less of a minute, you are back in your deep sleeping, but, this time, in Neil’s arms.

- - - - -

Hope you enjoyed it 🥰

#neil x reader #robert pattinson x reader #neil tenet x reader #tenet imagines #neil #neil imagine #tenet #tenet imagine #robert pattinson #robert pattinson imagine

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imaginingmarvelandeverything · 2 years

Text

5.5k Follower Celebration Masterlist

If you like my writing, you can buy me a coffee :)

Billy Hargrove:

Reconnecting

18+! Billy turns up on Y/N's doorstep to apologise, prompts 29 and 36 (angst, smut)

Stress Relief

18+! Y/N has a stressful day at work, Billy helps her unwind, prompt 34 (fluff, smut)

Bruce Wayne:

All of You

18+! Bruce and Y/N realise their agreement might have led to feelings, prompts 10 and 35 (smut, fluff, sugar baby reader)

Lazy Mornings

18+! Convenience couple. Bruce really doesn't want Y/N to get out of bed, prompts 3 and 38 (smut, fluff)

Fear

Convenience couple. Bruce gets does with fear toxin for the first time and Y/N has to go out and bring him home, prompts 12 and 22 (angst, fluff)

Jason Todd:

Favours and Revelations

Dick needs someone to watch an injured Jason, Y/N is the only one available, prompt 13 (fluff, angst)

Saviour

Some men break into Y/N's apartment, and with Dick away she calls Jason for help, prompt 11 (angst, fluff)

Control

18+! There's only one person Jason trusts enough to give up control to, prompt 41 (smut, fluff)

Late Night Take Out

Jason and Y/N both reveal secrets over late night take out, prompts 7 and 39 (fluff)

Neil (Tenet):

Reunion

Neil shows up on Y/N's doorstep after months of no contact, prompts 24 and 45 (angst, fluff)

Picture Perfect

Neil has been away on a job for a while, he can't wait to be home, prompts 4 and 22 (fluff)

Desk Duty and Muffins

Neil isn't entirely happy that Y/N might be cleared to go back in the field, prompts 1, 2 and 15 (fluff, tiny bit of angst)

Promises

Y/N gets a phone call she never, ever wanted, prompt 30 (angst)

Eddie Munson:

Pranks and Bruises

Y/N and Eddie play a prank on the jocks that results in Eddie getting a black eye, prompts 8 and 33 (fluff)

Books and Bullies

Eddie steps in when Jason and his friends catch Y/N with a DnD book, prompts 9 and 16 (fluff)

Steve Harrington:

Breaking Point

Steve doesn't know how to explain why he's been missing for several days, again, prompts 6, 26 and 27 (angst)

#follower celebration #billy hargrove #masterlist #bruce wayne #x reader #imagine #jason todd #eddie munson #neil tenet

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ao3feed-brucewayne · 1 year

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Changing the World

by eleanor_d

Bruce was a university student when he met a physics major student, Neil. Usually Bruce didn’t like the other students coming around him, but he somehow found it comfortable to be with this sociable British student. Though they were completely opposite, they fitted together quite well. But after leaving the university, they didn’t meet again – until one night when Bruce had a dream.

Words: 2769, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: The Batman (Movie 2022), Tenet (2020)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Neil (Tenet)

Relationships: Neil (Tenet)/Bruce Wayne, neil (tenet) & Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Student AU, Short, Fluff, POV Bruce Wayne, International Fanworks Day 2023

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/45089122

#IFTTT #bruce wayne #batman #the dark knight #the cape crusader #gotham #dc universe #ao3 #ao3feed

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imaginedisish · 3 years

Text

Instant Crush (Tenet) Neil x Reader ~Part 1~

A/N: WHAT’S THIS??? I’m actually posting two days in a row? WOWOWOW. Okay enough with that, here’s another Neil x Reader fic! Part 2 will be coming tomorrow night. Just one quick thing before y'all begin... this takes place in an AU in which Neil knows he’s going to die in order to save The Protagonist and the world in general (ps I call The Protagonist TP, because that seems to be what other writers in the fandom do, and it’s really much less awkward than saying “The Protagonist” lol). And yes, this is very much inspired by Instant Crush by Daft Punk/Julian Casablancas, although I had the Cage the Elephant cover on almost the entire time I wrote this...NOW ENJOY!!

Summary: (AU where Neil knows how his timeline will end) Neil knows his fate, he knows he’ll have to go back and sacrifice his life in order to save the Protagonist and the world, but how could he ever leave you behind? Maybe he won’t have to. You’re willing to do everything in your power to keep him alive. (Inspired by Instant Crush by Daft Punk/Julian Casablancas)

Warnings: MAJOR ANGST, cursing, mentions of death, implication of sleeping together/ *friends with benefits/lovers*, and I think that’s it. (oh ah! the grammar may be bad...I’ll check it again later, I’m too tired now)

Word Count: 3,601 (please tell me how to do the “read more” thing so many people on this platform must hate me).

You pace back and forth inside of your tiny hotel room. The beige walls make you more nauseous with every step. The brown, carpeted floors creek under your feet. The bright red digital clock next to your bed reads 2:46AM. You feel the world slowly caving in as your mind obsesses over the events that would take place tomorrow. You wouldn’t be there. You weren’t quite sure why. You had trained to join the team on the Temporal Pincer movement, but Ives had come to tell you that you were dropped from the mission just a few minutes ago.

“What do you mean I’m not in the movement anymore?” You ask, practically shouting in anger.

Ives shakes his head, leaning into your doorway. He looks down the hallway to make sure no one is there, and puts a finger up to his lips, shushing you.

“Don’t shush me!” Your voice is commanding. “Who the fuck took me out of the movement? I know it wasn’t you, and I know it wasn’t TP.”

Ives looks at you, and then looks to the ground. His uncomfortable silence says enough. You have an idea as to who took you off the mission.

“It was Neil, wasn’t it?” You pry, searching for confirmation, even though you already know the answer.

Ives taps the doorway and gives a polite half smile, as if to say goodbye. He pushes himself off the doorway and turns to walk down the hall.

The more you thought about it, the clearer it became. Neil had to be hiding something from you. There’s no way you were taken out of the movement because of your lack of abilities. You were talented with a gun, could easily outrun Neil, and knew exactly what to do in high pressure situations. You excelled at working while inverted.

There had to be something else, something more, something you didn’t know about yet. You needed to find out what was going on.

A knock at the door snaps you out of your thoughts. You walk over to the bright white slab of wood that clashes against the beige walls, and look into the peep hole.

Neil. You immediately unlock the door, and twist the handle.

He leans his right elbow against your doorway, giving him the space to bend over just a bit. His hand clutches a fist full of his hair. He looks tired, shaken up. Somehow, he still manages to look good. The sleeves of his white dress shirt are pushed up to his elbows. The knot of his maroon tie is half undone, allowing you to see that the top button of his shirt is unbuttoned.

Neil’s blue eyes meet your own, but his gaze isn’t steady. His eyes look into your hotel room, then back to your face, and then up and down your body. Something is off about him. He seems distraught, chaotic even. He looks as though he’s looking at you for the last time.

“I can’t do this,” Neil huffs. He quickly turns around and begins to speed down the hallway.

You grab the keycard by your door and rush after him. The door to your room slams behind you, the sound ricochetting off the walls and most likely waking up the entire floor. You break into a run, trying your best to catch up to Neil.

“Neil!” You shout. There’s no response, except for the pounding of your feet against the navy, carpeted hallway.

Neil finally stops in front of a door, taking a keycard out of his pocket, inserting it into the lock, and disappearing into the room.

You approach the door. You grab the handle and try to get in, but it’s locked already. “Neil,” you knock three times, “You need to tell me what’s going on. I don’t understand why the plans have changed.”

No answer, again.

“Neil, please,” You beg, resting your head on the door. Suddenly, you hear it unlock, and before you can remove your head, the door swings open. You lose your balance and begin to fall forward, but Neil instinctively moves to catch you in his arms.

He holds you there for a second. Your head finds itself placed in the crook of his neck. “Are you alright?” He asks. You forget to answer; you’re too focused on the scent of his warm, minty, gingery cologne.

“(Y/N), are you alright?” He asks again, pulling you off of him ever so slightly, just so he can get a good look at your face. His voice is so calm, so quiet. His blue stare meets yours.

Then, you remember why you’re here. You remember the situation. You remember what is going to happen tomorrow, and you remember that it’s going to happen without you. The anxiety builds in your chest. Your stomach tenses up and you can’t help but feel like your organs are moving wildly around inside of it.

“No, I’m not alright, and I know you aren’t either,” You say defiantly, pushing off of Neil and walking further into his room. You look around a bit. It’s bigger than yours. The walls are the same beige, and the carpet is the same brown one that could be found in your room. But instead of a twin bed, there’s a queen in the center of the suite.

Neil can’t help but smirk. “What?” He asks, pausing as he sits on the right side of his bed, swinging his legs around to get more comfortable. He leans up against the headboard, his cocky smile remains on his face, “Are you jealous that my room is nicer than yours?”

Is he seriously trying to play this off all nonchalantly? Is he really going to pretend as though he didn’t just run out of my room in a panic? You think to yourself.

“I’m done,” You say, walking towards the door. You turn around to look at him, hoping your words can get under his skin. “I know you took me out of the movement, which is just plain fucking stupid on your part.”

Neil shakes his head. “You don’t understand what’s-,”

You cut him off. “No, of course I don’t understand what’s going on. I have no fucking clue. I was hoping you could tell me a thing or two.” You’re yelling now. You feel the anxiety melt away as you clench your jaw tightly. Your blood boils beneath your skin. “But of course you have nothing to say. You never do.”

“What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?” Neil questions, standing up from the bed once again. He makes his way over to you.

“You know exactly what it means,” You insist. “You never have anything to say about us and whatever the hell we are. I’m just a fuck toy to you. You don’t give a shit about me,” You pause, noticing how harsh and cold your tone is. You regret the words as they leave your lips, but you continue on anyway. “And now you’re refusing to tell me why I’ve been cut out of the movement. You need me, you know you fucking need me. Ten minutes isn’t enough time to be cutting people out of the movement.”

You think back to the past few months you’ve spent with Neil. You had been together quite a few times, more times than you could count. You spent secret nights together, going as far as getting a room at a separate hotel on many missions to hide whatever you two were from the rest of the team. Neither of you were seeing anyone else, or at least you weren’t. But still, neither of you made your feelings quite clear. You dropped heavy hints every now and then, mentioning the future, what life might look like after your time at Tenet. But Neil would always change the topic.

Before you could say a thing, Neil’s face was in yours. You know he’s looking into your eyes, but you just can’t bring yourself to look back. He firmly grabs the upper part of your left arm with his right hand. His fingers press into your skin.

“So you think you know bloody fucking everything, don’t you?” Neil shouts. You feel his eyes burning into your head; it’s a horrible feeling. You can’t look at him. Your heart is racing uncontrollably. You didn’t mean for this to escalate so quickly. To be honest, you didn’t intend for this to escalate at all.

You can’t help but think about the past again. You wish you could just go back to one of the many nights you had spent with him. You wish all of this could fade away into nothing. You wish that the end of the world didn’t depend on whether or not you and Neil could simply do your job. You wish you had more time with him.

“Answer me,” He demands. You look up at him. His eyes are glossy. He blinks and a single tear slides down his cheek.

You’re taken back by how emotional he is. “N-Neil, I-,”

“You don’t get it (Y/N),” Neil’s voice is shaky, but loud. His hand is still tightly wrapped around your arm. His face is bright red. “You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You don’t know what I have to do.”

You can barely whisper now. You’re too choked up. You didn’t realize distraught Neil was. “Then tell me Neil, please.”

Neil looks at the ground. Tears begin to fall more freely down his cheeks. This was bad, very bad, and you knew that much. Neil’s silence was enough to tell you that something wasn’t going to go as you had planned.

Finally, Neil opens his mouth.“I don’t want you getting hurt, so I need you to leave the organization, starting tomorrow.” He’s not yelling anymore, but his voice is still firm and commanding.

You’re beyond confused now. Leave? Why does he want me to leave?

“You need to tell me why. You need to tell me what’s going on,” You plead.

Neil lets go of your arm, and walks over to the edge of the bed. He sits down, allowing his head to fall into his hands. His fingers push back to comb through his hair once, and then he stops, freezing in that position. He looks down into his lap. You walk over and sit by his side. Your arms brush up against each other.

He takes in a deep breath, “I’m not going to be here anymore, (Y/N).”

“W-what?” You stare into the side of his head, but he doesn’t move. He’s leaving? Why the fuck is he leaving? “You’re leaving Tenet? Why? And what does that have to do with me? I can handle myself.”

Neil takes another deep breath. “No, that’s not what this is.” He shudders a bit, and lets out a small, quiet sob. He breathes in again. “Tomorrow, when the mission is completed for most of the team and TP, I’m going back into the mission again, but I won’t be coming back after.”

You shake your head as you begin to understand what Neil means.

He’s going to die.

Tears involuntarily form in your eyes. “N-no.” A shiver crawls up your spine. “No,” you say again, louder this time. “NO!” You’re screaming now, standing up from the edge of the bed.

Neil stands up with you, reaching out to you, trying to grab you, trying to pull you into his chest. But you don’t want that. You want to run. You want to scream. You back away from Neil so that you’re on the other side of the room.

“Please, (Y/N), it’s what has to be done,” Neil looks helpless, his arms stretched out to the side, his red face covered with tears, his eyes searching for a response in yours.

“No, this doesn’t have to happen. You don’t need to do this,” You’re begging now.

Neil walks closer towards you, “The world will end tomorrow if I don’t.”

“And how do you know that? How do you know for sure?” You yell.

Neil shakes his head. “I can’t-,” You sense the pain in Neil’s voice as he stumbles upon his words. “You can’t know why, not yet at least.”

Of course…Of course this is my fucking fate. Nothingness. Death. A painful goodbye, and a tall, dirty blonde-haired figure that will just melt down into a memory of someone I used to know.

You hold back your tears, trying to process exactly what was going through your mind. You try to wrap your head around the situation. But there was no way to process this. It was impossible.

“So this is it? There’s no going back? This is the end, the end of us?” Your disbelief is abundantly clear in your voice.

Neil nods.

I can’t fucking do this, You think. A painful sob erupts from your throat, and Neil rushes over to you, embracing you tightly as if it was one of the last times he would ever get to feel you.

Except that was exactly it. That was your reality now.

He holds you in his arms. You press your face into his chest, sobbing loudly.

You stay there for a few minutes, maybe five, or ten, possibly even more than that. You couldn’t tell. All you knew was that it took you a while to finally think of something to say.

“S-so this little time with you,” You pause, gasping for air in between sentences, “That’s all I’ll get? I’ll never see you again?”

Neil presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” He whispers. You look up at Neil, and watch as tears stream down his face.

Out of nowhere, a hopeful idea pops into your head. “What if I can stop it? What if could change things? I can keep you safe, no one would have to know that I was there.”

Neil looks down at you. “What’s happened, happened.”

You hated when he said that.

You shake off his words. You had a mission now, a mission to prove that Neil was wrong. A mission to save his life.

“There’s no way in hell I’m living in a world where I never get to see you again, where I never get to be alone with you again,” You say, stepping back a bit. Neil moves his hands to your waist, not wanting to let go. “This isn’t going to be goodbye, Neil.”

“It has to be,” Neil says shamelessly, allowing reality to take hold.

“No, no it doesn’t have to be. I’m going to save you tomorrow and you don’t have a fucking say in the matter!” You’re practically screaming now. You break away from Neil, but he quickly steps forward to close the space between you two. His hands find their familiar spot your waist, the spot they were in just seconds ago.

You’re hyperventilating now, while Neil seems to have calmed down a bit. You figured he had to have been hiding this for some time now. There’s no way he found this out today.

He presses his forehead against yours. He takes his right hand off your waist and brings it up to the back of your head. He combs his fingers through your hair, making sure you won’t move away from him again. He parts his lips, “Will you stay with me tonight, please?”

You nod, even though you’re more than positive that this won’t be your last night with Neil. He presses a light kiss against your lips, and you kiss back. Neil breaks the kiss, leaving your lips feeling cold and alone. He grabs your hand and leads you over to the left side of the bed. You sit on the edge and bring your legs over so that you’re sitting up against the headboard.

Neil walks over to his suitcase. You shudder at the thought that it could just be a suitcase after tomorrow. It wouldn’t be Neil’s suitcase anymore, because there wouldn’t be a Neil.

That is, unless you had something to say about it.

Neil fully unknots his maroon tie and begins to unbutton his white dress shirt, one button by one. Once he’s done, he pushes his sleeves back down to where they belong, and removes the shirt completely. You can’t help but stare at his bare chest. Then he unbuckles his pants, unzips his fly and lets the trousers slide down his toned legs. He just has his boxers on now.

He runs a hand through his hair as he makes his way over to you. Normally the sight would make you crazy, but this was far too somber and depressing. It was impossible for your mind to go there. Instead, you could only think, What if this is the last time I’m going to see him like this. You try to shake the thought off, but you just can’t.

Neil crawls on top of the center of the bed, and finds his spot right next to you. He puts both arms around you, inviting you to rest your head on his chest. You allow yourself to do so, listening to his pounding heartbeat with your eyes shut tight.

“I need to tell you something, (Y/N),” Neil says shyly. Shyly, that was the last word you would normally use to describe something Neil said, but that was what this situation was doing to him, and it wasn’t fair.

You look up at Neil and nod, waiting for him to say what he wants to say.

“Before, when you said that you’re just a fuck toy to me…” Neil trails off. Pain was evident in his voice, and it was all because of you. You had never regretted something so much. You had only felt that way because you two hadn’t ever said how you felt about each other. You had made it clear you weren’t seeing anyone else, but Neil never did. Obviously you enjoyed each other, but he never said anything that indicated the idea of the “long term.”

And yet here you two were, being “together” for over half a year.

Neil breathes harshly, shuddering a bit. “Well you’re not just a fuck toy to me, and quite honestly I have no idea how you got that idea,” Neil pauses again, taking another deep breath. “So I figured it’s time that I need to tell you that I…” He trails off again, shutting his eyes for a second, allowing himself to catch his mind up to his words.

“W-what is it?” You stutter, your heart beating hard in your chest.

Neil clears his throat. “You have no idea how much this hurts. You have no idea how much I wish I could just stay here, with you. I don’t want you leave you here. I-I-,” Neil begins to cry again. You bring your right hand up to the nape of his neck. You gently play with his dirty blonde hair, trying to comfort him.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

You had longed to hear those words for what felt like an eternity. From the second you saw his face, you knew that something was there. It was an instant crush, an instant and absolute fall for Neil.

And there was no way in hell you were losing him now. Not after that.

“N-Neil, I-,” You stutter.

Neil puts a finger up to your lips, “Please, don’t say it back, not like this. It’ll make this all too final. You’ll get to say it to me in some future somewhere, maybe in a different past, or maybe somewhere beyond here.”

You shake your head. “I’ve already told you, this isn’t goodbye, I’m following you in tomorrow,” You say. “I’m not losing you.”

“Yes you are, my love.”

You shake your head again as another tear falls. You don’t care what he says, so you decide it’s time to say what you’ve been wanting to say for months.

“I love you Neil, so much.”

Neil smiles painfully, “I thought I told you not to say it back.”

“You couldn’t have possibly expected me not to,” You say, pressing yourself into his bare chest. You look up at Neil, and watch him yawn. You realize how tired he is. “You should get some sleep,” You say.

Neil nods, “I know, but I wanted to spend my last night looking at you.”

“This isn’t your last night, Neil,” You sigh. “And that’s a promise.”

Neil ignores what you say, and reaches over to your side of the bed to turn the lamp off. With a single click, the room goes dark. Neil pushes the covers over you, and puts his arms around your body, pulling you down to his level. He’s holding you as close as he possibly can to himself.

You hear his heart beat out of his chest. You place soft kisses over his heart, hoping to calm him down somehow. But that was impossible. There was no calming him down about this.

“I love you, (Y/N),” Neil says again, keeping his grip on you tight. It feels just as good as when he said it the first time.

“I love you too Neil, but,” You pause, trying to chose your words carefully. “You aren’t dying tomorrow, I promise,” You say finally. You hear Neil sigh, but he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t want to fight you. He knows there’s no stopping you, because you know exactly what you’re going to do.

Part 2

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