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raytorosaurus · 2 years

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Sorry that this post is long but I would appreciate it if other white people read it and thought about it. I've been reading a lot of posts and the tags on them and I just want to make it very clear that this conversation isn't really about Ray getting 'attention' or his talent getting acknowledged. We should not be minimising this to “we need to acknowledge that Ray is an excellent guitar player” because everyone knows that, all you need is ears. True, it went largely unappreciated by fans at the height of mcr’s fame, but at least that's different now. What we're talking about now is about so much more than that - in fact, part of the problem is Ray getting reduced to nothing but the guy who shuts up and does the solos. We're talking about a pattern of behaviour that has been so deeply rooted in this fandom for so long that it's almost invisible to white people. It's a collective problem but it's perpetuated by individuals and needs to be addressed at an individual level first before it can begin to change.

I will acknowledge that, at least in my circles, things have started to change a little bit this tour in regards to people noticing him and discussing him beyond just his solos. But on the flipside that's only highlighted the larger issue, which boils down to how differently Ray is treated from the rest of the band. This is a consistent pattern. If he's not being ignored, he's behind separated out and set apart from the others - either being put on a weird pedestal or given suspiciously backhanded compliments.

Back in 2020 when I'd be lucky to see three posts about him a day on my dash I used to spend a lot of time scrolling through old inactive blogs to queue Ray pictures. Back in the pre-breakup days, if he wasn't being called "princess fro fro" he was being called ugly or he was the target of straight-up racial slurs. There was a weird narrative that he like, lowkey bullied Frank or took more credit than he deserved for mcr's guitar parts (which is painfully ridiculous and only proves that nobody paid attention to a single word Ray's ever said). Until very recently, the punchline of one of the main "jokes" (quotation marks because the word joke implies it was ever actually funny in the first place lol) in this fandom relied on Ray being at least casually homophobic. And these were blogs that posted Ray - I can only imagine how much worse the people who actively didn't like him would have been.

Nowadays, I post a lot of Ray content so I see a lot of tags from people outside my circle of mutuals. Let me tell you, there are Patterns. First of all, there's the classic "tags that completely ignore Ray to make the Ray post about Frank and/or Gerard instead." But more and more often what I'm seeing is if he's not being infantilised, he's being treated as some hyper-masculine, omni-competent, suave sex god or something - each of these things are equally reductive and dehumanising - and each of them are different manifestations of racist stereotypes and common fandom attitudes towards people of colour. Sure, Frank also gets weirdly infantilised a lot, but in a very different way - Frank is woobified in the way people often treat their fictional faves out of affection and horniness, whereas Ray is just reduced down to a personalityless nice guy - something that is also very common with fictional characters of colour. Then there are people who act like he's some kind of long-suffering untouchable genius who puts up with the little weirdos in his band because they worship his talent or something, as if he's not on equal footing with them as their peer and creative partner. And then you get the people characterising him as some kind of rough macho domineering dude because he's…tall? I guess? And plays guitar with confidence? Or is it just because he's brown.

I just..genuinely want you to sit down and think about a reason Ray might be singled out and separated from the rest of the band like this.

Is it because he's quiet in interviews? Mikey was always quieter. Also, Ray has done a lot more interviews than you think, they just haven't been circulated by fans as much. Also, he's literally the second-most featured band member in lotms - you know, the almost sole source for their fandom-driven personalities back in the day.

Is it because he's less feminine than the others? Both Mikey and Frank regularly present as more traditionally masculine in their fashion choices and mannerisms etc. The only thing “more masculine” about Ray than the others is...his body type I guess. There’s a whole conversation there about the intersection of gender and race and racist perceptions thereof.

Is it because he's private and keeps out of the public eye? So does Gerard.

Is it because people historically found him less attractive than the others? I shouldn't have to explain that that was the racism all along (yes, I know there's no accounting for taste, but Ray was regularly and actively mocked for his non-white features, and noughties beauty standards, especially in the alt music scene, were overwhelmingly white and racist. I regularly get tags to the effect of "when did Ray get so hot???" and honestly it's pretty telling that he's only widely acknowledged as attractive now that he's lost weight (whole other important discussion on fatphobia in this fandom here btw) and his hair has changed texture and beauty standards have shifted so certain racial features are fetishised rather than mocked.

Is it because he wasn't involved in one of the iconic bandom boylove duos? News flash, all "ships" are made up fan theories. Rpf and/or tinhatting is based on what fans notice and what rumours they perpetuate. Besides them kissing on stage a few times to make a point over 15 years ago, you know frerard lore because people talk about frerard lore. You know petekey lore because people talk about petekey lore. The truth is nobody cared enough to pay attention to Ray back then. (To be clear, this isn't me trying to tinhat anything about him, I'm just once again pointing out the obvious disparity in how Ray is treated compared to the others.)

I consistently see people acting baffled at how he's been behaving this tour - skipping or bouncing around the stage, eating his solos up, being physically affectionate with his bandmates. I can tell you he has literally always acted like that. Sure, this tour is special - he's certainly a lot more confident than he used to be and seems happier than ever, but really the biggest thing that's changed is now we get full footage of every show so it's literally impossible to overlook.

I also see people acting baffled when others point out the way Ray's been mistreated by fandom - being shocked that anyone would crop Ray out of band photos etc. I guarantee you that almost every single one of you has reblogged pictures where he's been actively cropped out, because some of the most iconic Frank-and-Gerard pictures that constantly get passed around on here are just that. "But how would we know" - sure, it's not your fault, but it's a small example of the way the more blatant Ray erasure from the past gets passed down to new fans and perpetuated by them unknowingly in turn. Cropping him out of pictures is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of how his talent and personality and significance to the emotional heart of the band has been overlooked. I can't tell you how many iconic well-known quotes from interviews or paragraphs from Not the Life it Seems directly precede facts about/quotes from Ray that nobody seems to have heard.

So again, this is not really a popularity thing - it's hard to measure but I'd say in the past few months Ray's overtaken Mikey in terms of mass popularity, at least on tumblr. You don't need to performatively post once a day about how Ray Toro Is God or how much you want him to rail you or how much you want him to rail your white fave because "he's the only one who can top" (you Realise how this sounds right?). I'm just asking you to confront your internalised biases and the external biases ingrained in the culture and history of this fandom, and start treating Ray the same way you treat the rest of the guys. He's not an untouchable god and he's not a sunshine cupcake, he's just Some Guy who's really fucking good at guitar. He's a proud stay at home dad, he's cringe as fuck, he loves to cook, he listens to podcasts about fucking Apple products for fun, he writes (very) shitty poetry, he takes his sons to women's rights marches, he invests in bitcoin, he cries when his mom sends him postcards, he drives a douchey car, he loves children's cartoons, he's a corny liberal just like the others, he loves his friends wholly and openly. Just…please acknowledge the history of racism in this fandom, think about how you as an individual might knowingly or unknowingly perpetuate it, and try to do better. And please just treat him like a human.

#at least we're HAVING this conversation it's so so much worse on twitter #anyway. i've discussed and complained about a lot of this stuff on discord and that's my bad for not talking about it more publicly #like. i don't want to come off as just bitter about my fave or something because it's a much deeper problem that #but that just means i need to be very clear abt my point #hopefully you give this post the time of day i know it's long but i do think it's important #ray toro #racism #ref #**#gonna pin this for a bit too

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zadig-fate · 2 months

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For those wondering about the origin of the Bojan "Nie Wieder Berlin" story mentioned in my last post (since @punknoodle-4 asked), it's a reference to the 2004 American sex comedy film Eurotrip, specifically this scene:

youtube

For non-German speakers: the English subtitles are not accurate (in many ways). When the truck driver says "Nie wieder Berlin!", it actually translates to "Never again Berlin!" ("Nie wieder" / "never again" is a common expression in German.)

Bojan apparently loves this movie (I guess the whole band does?? that tracks though ngl it seems like their humour) and this scene seems to be the first thing that pops into his head when he hears "Berlin".

So when I first met him before the Halloween show in Vienna and asked if they had plans to come to Berlin, he immediately asked if I'd seen Eurotrip (I had) and made a joke about this scene. If that was all, it wouldn't be much of a story, but...

A month later in Wrocław, I happened to be standing nearby when another German girl asked Bojan if they were coming to Berlin, and then he asked HER if she'd seen Eurotrip (she hadn't), and he tried to explain this scene to her and make a joke about it, but he didn't remember the correct German phrase so I think he just confused her lol. So when I talked to him next, I taught him the expression "nie wieder Berlin" and what it actually meant (since the subtitles weren't quite correct) and he thought this was really funny and kept repeating it because he's silly like that hahaha 😅

Then a few days after THAT was the Prague show, which was kind of a disaster, from the pre-midnight queue drama to the show itself, which started really late, then electricity went out a few times, and they also had to stop the show because a girl passed out. After the show they went pretty much straight to their bus but still passed by us, so I called out "what do you think Bojan, is it nie wieder Prague now?" and he laughed and hugged me (this man hugs everyone, no wonder he's constantly sick) and said "no, it's definitely wieder Prague!" (= "Prague again").

So last week when the band actually DID come to Berlin (where I live), I took inspiration from @izpira-se-zlato 's infamous Hojan shirt and decided to make Bojan a "nie wieder Berlin" shirt, which I gave to him during soundcheck, and he loved it 😅

And we even got a post-show selfie 🫶🏻

So yeah, that's the full story behind the "nie wieder Berlin" reference (and I've seen people making "nie wieder Berlin" bracelets so I guess it got around???).

Now when Bojan sees me hanging around outside after their gigs, he greets me by shouting "NIE WIEDER BERLIN!!" and I guess there are worse things I could be known for 🤷🏼‍♀️

#I'm genuinely impressed that he even remembered???#and now this is actually a thing???#he's so silly and sweet i can't #bojan cvjetićanin #joker out #nie wieder berlin #Youtube

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space-station-collective · 7 months

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some of the less pretty parts of plurality

we talk a lot on this blog about the funny or nice parts of being plural, but there's also a lot of bad shit that can come with it. it's not all good, just like it's not all bad. it just is! sometimes, seeing posts like this makes us feel a little better, knowing we aren't alone in these struggles and seeing other people who have come through it, so, here's this

this is going to require a lot of me being vulnerable on the internet lmao

everything is going under a cut, and i'm marking applicable TW and CWs here as well as in the tags. i tried to keep it as light as possible (if there's any tags i missed, PLEASE do let me know and i'll add them ASAP /gen)

(this is also quite a long post, under the cut the word count is: 437)

WARNINGS: addiction mentions, physical illness, exotrauma mentions

-) developing an addiction/dependency that everyone has to manage, due to one headmate's actions

-) trying to collectively recover from addiction when not everyone wants to, and some headmates actively working against the progress and goals

-) more specifically, having to maintain a clean streak for everyone, not just one individual. not just yourself. we have an agreement- we stick together with this stuff

-) headmates who actively dislike people we know, and generally collectively like, and having to manage and ignore secondhand emotions towards those people when the headmates in question are around (not to say, ignoring how those headmates feel about people, but moreso not letting the emotions bleed through into our own interactions)

-) panicking because your job directly relates to helping other headmates, and despite your best efforts, things keep getting worse (not directly applicable to me who is writing this -host)

-) having to agree with headmates, who have done nothing wrong, that they can't be around front, because they're symptom holders, and the body is ill enough all the time that we physically can't handle them fronting

-) fighting. constant fighting. i can't think of a day since our syscovery that there hasn't been some sort of fight, argument, breakdown, violence, some sort of incident internally

-) so many headmates with so much exotrauma. some of their triggers have bled into our collective triggers, and holy shit is it hard to explain thost to people who don't understand exomemories, or even who don't know about the system

-) having to watch littles who are far too young for any of this experience this whole ordeal

-) "Atlantis" by Seafret. it's about an extremely different topic, but the lyrics hit home. "i can't save us, my atlantis, we fall. we built this town on shaky ground." because holy fuck, it feels that way sometimes

several of these things are now managed, several are not. being human is a weird, messy, fucked up experience, and when you shove a bunch of consciousnesses into one human body, it gets even more convoluted

whoever you are, whatever reason you might have for reading this: i love you. you are not alone in your struggles. you have support from so many places, and you will get through whatever you're currently experiencing, be it so simple as your favourite pencil breaking, all the way to personal tragedy. you are loved

-the host (he/they), expressing thoughts of the collective

(scheduling this to post outside of the queue because our content is usually much more lighthearted than this and i don't want to take up a spot for that)

#spacestationcollective #sysblr #system #plurality #plural #plural system #osddid #plural community #dissociative system #serious post #addiction mention #addiction #cw addiction mention #cw addiction #tw addiction #tw addiction mention #addiction cw #addiction tw #<- i know thats a lot but i want to be SO thorough for this

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swearyshera · 1 year

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I feel people like you, who post free entertainement on social medias, need some reminders, so here goes:

remember you don't owe us anything. No explaination, no apology, no excuse, no punctuality, not even quality.

If you need a break, take it and you don't have to tell us why or to give us a deadline.

If you didn't post at a time you scheduled to post, you don't need to rush, to give excuses or to apologize.

If your content doesn't please everyone, you don't have to redo it, (if it's you who aren't satisfied, you might want, but then again you have to find the good balance between being proud of yourself and being over perfectionist and never achieving anything because there's always something to fix)

Since you're providing entertainement (as opposed to someone who is doing a crucial job for someone's health, for instance, and who therefore needs to warn someone to replace them if necessary), you don't need to post or to be on time; you could give it all up, none of us is entitled to your content or your time. Since you're doing it for free you don't have a contract with any of us, therefore you face no consequence by being late or "bad" or just stopping.

If for some reason you posted less, less often, or nothing at all, there's plenty of entertainment providers on the internet. We love your content and will configure tumblr to get notifications when (if) you'll come back, but we don't need you, so please prioritize yourself, what you want, what is healthy for you.

Anyway I think I speak for all of us when I say this: it's best if you take your time, so that you're in good physical and mental health, to provide content you like, than if we get 100% of the "job" done right on time, but it made you feel bad. We wouldn't be happy about the result.

I absolutely love writing this and sharing it with everyone - I wouldn't have gotten this far if I didn't. And I have always prioritised my own wellbeing, as I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear - that's why I take short breaks at the end of each season, as well as either a break or a posting reduction in the middle. That gives me the time to take it easy and take days off all while not having to panic because the queue's running down rapidly.

Yes, this blog does take up a lot of my time outside of work - maybe more than it should, I probably spend a good 5 or 6 hours a week on it. But I'm happy to, and it's never a chore (some scenes can feel a bit dragging, so I normally just take a break and come back afresh the next day). And importantly, I still have time free to do other things.

One of the reasons I make funny things is that the world is not that funny and becoming less funny every day. If I can give people a reason to smile amongst all the gloom and doom, even if it's just for a second, I figure that's time well spent. Reading through the tags, the responses, the asks... that all makes it worthwhile because I know I've been able to make people happy (or I've just given them an emotional punch to the gut).

I'm so much better at keeping myself healthy than I used to be, and that includes making sure I'm not overworking myself. If something awful happened and I couldn't write for a week, I'd weather it just fine and wouldn't push myself beyond my limits. I love all of you, and that's why I do this. We're gonna get to the end, no problem!

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swervestrickland · 1 year

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stupid shit under a read more

somehow, just as pride month is starting, it has managed to become hostile on this website. not in regards to pride, but in the circles of people on my dash.

and i will be attributing that to one dumbass famous asshole motherfucker, but i’m also gonna attribute that to people actually believing that the personalities we put out to other people on the internet are the whole truth, and believing you know what’s going on in everyone’s minds. and i will, also, attribute it to the fact that none of you can just be fucking normal without sending each other anon hate. i’ve seen hate being sent to people from both sides of a stupid fucking issue, and it’s really, dreadfully disappointing. it makes all of you look like idiots. and the vaguing’s just as annoying.

i’ve been on this website for literally? 14 years. with this same account. this exact same blog. my entire teenage and adult life is on here. i’ve grown as a person here. a Lot. and yet, now, probably because of some personal shit i’ve dealt with in the outside world as well, i’m finally thinking of taking a real fucking break. and that SUCKS. because i’ve always liked it here. but i think, for now, i need to stay off for a while. im gonna take my own advice.

its so funny bc i was gonna try to let the stupid punk shit go and then a vague from a mutual about “if you wanna know what’s going on with stu and uno breaking up watch roh” was what broke my camel’s back lol just because i reblogged something about tony breaking up uno and stu and tagged it with “WHAT” like i cant even tag shit with my thoughts without being fucking condescended to through a vague lmao. so yeah. it took 14 years but ive had enough of other people on here. gonna try to make friends in real life ok. emphasis on try

I’ll be back in time for Hangman’s birthday week. and by that i mean i’ll probably just queue my posts and try to reblog everyone’s, because i’ll be out of the country then anyway.

gonna try to add some stuff in the queue to last a few days but we’ll see. if i make hangman gifs, i’ll post them to the gif blog as usual but i won’t reblog them here. don’t wanna deal with this blog right now.

bye for now, y’all

#shut up emi

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notasapleasure · 8 months

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unluckily for you you are mutuals with the guy who sees an ask meme and sends you

🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. It can be hypothetical or something you really plan on releasing...

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing.

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP. 🌧️Share something angsty from your WIP.

🌈 Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP.

💧Share something romantic/hot from your WIP, or just something sweet if it's gen.

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

🌪️Sum up a WIP with a few fic tropes/Ao3 tags.

Absolute clown-face o'clock here, as I forgot this meme was in the queue - but thanks for the ALL THE ASKS ask!! I'm gonna do the saga au because that's the only place my head is these days, though when I finish part 1 I PROMISE I will get to work on chapter 4 of Counting on You.

🌀 Brassian saga au, aka 'The Saga of The Coal-Biter and The Skraeling'. A prequel AU set in late tenth century Iceland. Brasso is the illegitimate son of an old viking and a slave woman who grows up with a heap of [legitimate] sisters, paternal expectations he has no interest in meeting, social expectations he has no interest in meeting, and a growth spurt that only adds to those expectations and the problems they cause. When the neighbours - adventurous merchants Maarva and Clem - return from the colony in Greenland in semi-disgrace with a 'skraeling' child they 'adopted', Brasso makes friends with the new boy, and Cassian identifies him as a fellow outsider.

As a prequel it focuses on Brasso's own coming-of-age travailles, but within this he learns that the feuds of the previous generation can't be ignored, and that once a feud starts there's no one who's safe. When the violence touches Cassian's family too, Brasso's going to have to make a decision about the strange prophecy the Christian witch Máiri Caleen gave him and figure out a way to reconcile himself to being a hero.

❄️ 🌤️ "You could have challenged him to a duel for that," Cassian stood back and eyed me.

"And had my arse handed to me - at the end of a sword, rather than unarmed. Do you want me to get run through, Cassian?"

He folded his arms and shrugged tightly. "I think you'd win."

"I'm grateful for your confidence," I said testily. I'd realised that he was annoyed with me personally about something, but I hadn't the faintest idea what it could be, and it didn't negate his pleasure in my victory. Still, it was an undercurrent in our conversation, in the reproachful shadow behind his expression, and he was disinclined to tell me what it was, so I didn't ask.

"Do you think this is who you have to be?" he finally blurted, stepping forwards again so he didn't need to raise his voice.

Mystified, I dabbed at my nose and raised my brows. "A winner?"

He had this thing where you could see his teeth working at the inside of his lower lip, and he did it whenever he encountered something challenging - regardless of whether it was a challenge to relish or one that made him seethe. In the case of the latter it preceded a smile like a sharp blade, a baring of his teeth really, and a darkening of his eyes. "Fuck you. The one who rolls over and takes it," he said it so quietly I had to lean in to hear him, and I heard the genuine vitriol in his words. Just like so many others I'd heard speak like that on this island.

"That's not what that was, Cassian," I told him coldly. I continued to bend forward so I could keep his eyes on me, and with just as much repressed anger and certainty as he'd spoken with, I added "Here, where everyone expected me to respond like you said, taking that kind of shit means acting the same way they would. I don't do that. I'm not like them, and they should know it by now. You should know it."

As always when I stood up to him, his chin jutted in surprise and his eyes slipped away from mine.

"You sound like Clem," he said eventually, through a sulking pout.

🌧️ Ok, I´ll let you in on an angsty secret in this viking story: there´s a bodycount :)) so far we've had three murders, one execution, one died-of-sheer-rage, a bunch of haunted-to-deaths, two paranormal killings and there's at least three more murders to come!

🌈 in honour of the rainbow the softness I will let you in on is that Brasso gets a number of boyfriends (even if he's not very good at keeping them).

💧None of the boyfriends are Cassian (yet), but I'm aiming to give them something that's genuinely weirder and longer-lasting and turns into proper 'no one else in the whole known world gets me like you do'. Which I think is hot. But also there is fucking, don't worry.

🌩️oh man...I'm so bad at guessing at what's funny, even when I know there are things I've tried to make funny. There's quite a lot of Vetch, which is kind of cracky I guess? And Cavo is an ale-seller who is always drunk on his own wares. Actually what am I saying, the whole concept of this is cracky as all fuck!!

☔I would so love to maintain my enthusiasm for this AU setting to make it through the two other stories I want to add, one which starts more at the beginning of Andor S1 and ends up with mercenary shenanigans and shapeshifting in Norway, and the second which explains why Brasso is telling his story from a Byzantine dungeon and how he helped Cassian not be in the same dungeon.

Basically it would follow a few trends from medieval saga genres, from the honour/feud-based 'family saga' setting in Iceland, to the legendary/heroic sagas full of wrathful kings, long-distance skiing, bear-fights and large scale battles, to the 'romantic/chivalric' saga setting with mercenary activity in Russia and Byzantium, magic and strange beasts, feats and quests.

🌪️AU - medieval, AU - viking, friends to lovers, slowburn, like REALLY slow burn, idiots in love, pining, intricate rituals, friends who slay together stay together, coming-of-age, canon prequel AU, misunderstandings, dreams and prophecies, (eventually) best friends with benefits.

Also here is the link to the four hour VIBES playlist again, because I am so proud of it :')

For other rancid and self-obsessed vibes check my tags 'saga au' and 'brassian saga au'. xoxox

#saga au #asks #wip asks #brassian saga au #my playlists #my fics #my wips #wip: saga au #saga of the coal-biter and the skraeling #if anyone has any follow up questions please don't hesitate to come and talk to me about them :)))#i mean they may very well be 'what the actual fuck is wrong with you' but i can't really answer that in the text box limit #andor #andor fic #brasso #cassian andor

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veliseraptor · 2 years

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there are tiers of my process for coping with "I'm mad about something that could provoke wank and get me in trouble but I'm struggling to just keep my mouth shut about it" disease

tier one: complain directly to a friend. obviously this is optimal for a lot of reasons and frequently good enough! I have expressed the righteous indignation/petty irritation I am feeling to someone outside of myself and hopefully received some sort of affirmation that yeah, that is pretty dumb, you're so right, lise, and can move on.

tier two: complaining to one (or even two) people is not enough. I want to be Heard. I want to put this dumb opinion I'm mad about On Blast. I write up a post that is snippy and bitchy as though I am going to post it. I save the post as a draft. two days later I go into my drafts and delete the post. if I think it was particularly good or funny I'll leave it saved in drafts so I can revisit and congratulate myself on my cleverness. you showed them, lise. good job.

tier three: saving it in a draft knowing I'm not going to post it is not enough. I must at least flirt with the idea that I am actually going to share the opinion. I write up a post that is as snippy and bitchy as I can manage while still making it a version that I feel like I could, hypothetically, release into the wild, and put it into my queue. because my queue is consistently around 150 posts long at least, this gives me a period of two to three weeks where it is floating slowly up to the top. periodically I'll check in on it and see if I still feel like I want to post it. potentially I will delete it before it comes out of my queue. potentially I will forget to delete it in time and it will come out of my queue, and then I may or may not delete it afterwards. I might also edit it to moderate the language while it is pending. if it does post, though, at least nobody will necessarily be able to identify the exact inciting incident, because it's been three weeks since it happened.

tier four: can't wait, too stupid, but it's going under a read more.

tier five: hit terminal annoyance velocity too fast for self restraint. go directly to post.

honestly I think this approach has saved me a lot of grief on the whole. would love to just eliminate tiers four and five but I am only human after all

#important text posts #omphaloskepsis #at least i usually only get as far as tier three these days #unless i'm in a really bad mood

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adultswim2021 · 1 year

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Robot Chicken #53: “Ban on the Fun” | October 28, 2007, 2007 - 11:30PM | S03E11

Hello Kitty gets a hairball? Now I’ve seen everything! Folks, that was my favorite bit in the whole episode. Look at me, dismissing it out of hand.

What else does this episode have? A senseless runner where the main dude form 300 says “This. Is. ____! (something other than Sparta)”, a grotesque but just-plain silly parody of the final scene from Rocky, and a sorta-clever sketch that takes place immediately after the fade-out in Thelma and Louise. I didn’t mind any of them too much, but I did not laugh. There’s also a thing where two meth cookers conjure Crystar. I don’t know who that is and I don’t care to find out. Seems like nerd shit to me.

Also notable is the “Scientist Mad With Power” sketch, about the scientist who declared Pluto was no longer planet (then roughly topical) going crazy and also declaring that other things weren’t what they were supposed to be. I sorta liked this one, and feel like it’s maybe the most cohesive idea in the whole show. The punchline is satisfying enough. I didn’t hate this one!

There’s also the memorable “Home Life of the Maytag Repairman”, a take-off of the Maytag Repairman ad campaign. The joke in the ads is that he’s never busy because Maytags don’t break very often. The boredom has driven him to become so mad that he strikes his wife, who leaves him. He blows his brains out, which splatter all over a Maytag dishwasher. This one’s fairly well done as far as Robot Chicken goes, I guess.

The final sketch is Laff-a-Munich, which is a parody of both Steven Spielberg’s Munich (which I’ve never seen; I’m honestly only faintly aware of the real-life events that it portrays) and Hanna Barbera’s Laff-A-Lympics. I grew up on the Hanna Barbera stuff to some degree (mostly by way of VHS best-of compilations), and I actually remember a brief period of time when I tuned in to Laff-A-Lympics repeats on USA Network in the afternoons. You’d think I’d be fonder of this sketch.

I guess I’m either noting a mild improvement in the show, or that I’m a little more used to it. It rarely excites me or makes me laugh, but it doesn’t seem to make me angry like it used to. Even knowing what I know now, I still wouldn’t bother to watch it outside of this blog. There are often sketches on the show where the writing is all-over the place, with jokes that don’t really build on the premise but are just a collection of “funny” things happening. I think the excuse was that the show was meant to feel like a little kid with a short attention span smacking their different toys around in nonsensical scenarios. The show does seem to be a little more focused overall and have more solid sketches. I still mostly don’t like it, though.

MAIL BAG

Please forgive my scattered absences. I actually wrote this post and accidentally saved it as a draft and forgot to queue it. Also, I think daylight savings eve got skipped? No idea why, that one was tumblr’s fault, but if I thought of it I might have gone in and forced it to publish.

I played the new Ninja Turtles brawler game Shredder's Revenge and you can't play as Venus De Milo. You can play as April O'Neil though (the porn star, not the reporter)

April O’Neil does some terrific work. Anyway: I read that the one guy sold his share of the Ninja Turtles to the other guy, and the guy who holds the rights now HATED Venus, and deleted all mentions of her on the official website. There was even like, some blog thing that was meant to keep her in the canon and he DELETED it harshly. HBOMax much?? SEXIST MUCH???

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #robot chicken

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blazehedgehog · 1 year

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What got you into answering submitted questions on this blog?

Absolutely nothing! I registered this blog for other reasons originally but left the ask box open, because, well, why not? Formspring and Curiouscat were dedicated "ask a social media person a question" services, and I had one of those for a brief time, too, but it all just seemed to kind of... collate here.

But I wasn't a fan of when people would sit down and shotgun blast 10+ questions in a day and then go radio silent for days, or even weeks. Some of that was just how Tumblr itself treated asks -- you could only post answers immediately. However, if you had Xkit installed, asks could be put in to the queue like any other post. (Nowadays, Tumblr lets you do that by default)

So, out of politeness, I decided to just dump all my asks in to a queue where they would go up two or three times a day.

But it was still kind of inconsistent. I'd get a few days or maybe a week worth of posts, but there were still dry spells. Eventually I settled on there being one post per day. And that's the way it's been for years and years at this point. It's extremely rare there isn't a post ready to go.

Sometimes I think I should speed it up. I used to. There used to be times where I'd have 10-15, even 20 posts in the queue, and I'd bump it back up to two posts a day. But that hasn't happened in a while now*. That's for a few reasons.

One, I think I spend a lot more time writing each individual post. Shorter, sweeter, to-the-point posts are getting fewer and farther between, to the point where I am now making a conscious effort to write less, because my proclivity is to just write and write and write and write forever. So when you see a post like this, that's me in my own head saying "shorter posts are fine. not everybody wants to read a novel every day" instead of skipping that ask.

Two, I don't get paid for this. I've thought about at least trying to put a simple adsense banner on this blog somewhere, but if I'm being honest, Tumblr makes that difficult. You may not know this, but my bltn.net site is basically just a tumblr blog redirected through a domain, and Google Adsense is constantly yelling at me because I don't have a proper ads.txt and this and that and the other thing. Because even if you tell tumblr to make a blank page without any formatting, it still inserts secret, invisible formatting anyway. Which Google hates. So it serves ads on bltn.net, but only begrudgingly. And I don't want to make it mad any more than I have to.

You gotta write because you like writing, which I do, but there are sometimes I take a step back and think "This feels like work. I should be paid for work."

Particularly because a friend of mine, Imran Khan, in the days before he became known for his work at Game Informer and Kinda Funny Games and etc. briefly tried to run an ask blog like this, failed to start, and then point blank asked me why I keep this thing running when it seems like so much work. I didn't have an answer for him, outside of the fact that I like interacting with the people who like my writing.

Which I do. But in this scary new world after my Mom died last year, I'm definitely examining where I spend my time more carefully and what I should be paid for doing.

But nagging people to join my Patreon because I can't shut up on Tumblr probably isn't going to work, either. I have a thing my blog's sidebar about it, but getting more aggressive... I dunno about that.

(That being said: good time to note that not only do I have a Patreon, but tier 2 donors get access to a Discord channel where I basically link these the moment they go in to the queue. Meaning you can get early access to these posts days, or sometimes even up to a week or more in advance)

So... I like doing this, I want to keep doing this, I will keep doing this, because I think getting prompts from you guys to write about things legitimately helps me as a writer and helps me build viewpoints on things I would never otherwise think about. If I am left to my own devices and only write about topics that are self-indulgent to myself, I don't know that I would ever write about even a quarter of what this blog wrings out of me.

Because that's the other thing, when Imran asked me that question all those years and years ago: I don't know how to come up with topics? Like, I know the topics that interest me, but those are a narrow group of topics that may or may not be in vogue at any given time. I mean, just go look at my Youtube channel, for instance.

Would you say I have any ongoing "shows"? How often do I venture out of my comfort zone? I think a lot about my last Youtube MCN, Screenwave, when they effectively "fired" me in 2021. I think they figured The Definitive Way To Play would be this ongoing series where I always had a new game to talk about every few weeks or at least every couple of months, and then I... didn't do that. Because I only make those kinds of videos when it's meaningful to me. I don't research games for that series, I talk about mods I personally have field tested in games I want to play. Which is why it's mostly just been Sonic games.

So, like, yes, while I do have a Google Doc absolutely stuffed full of video ideas (32 unmade ideas and counting), when it comes to brainstorming new video ideas, new series, it's not something I've ever really been able to do? That Google Doc is ideas I've been accumulating for the last 5-10 years. My "some day" ideas that never got made.

(That's probably harsh on me, and more impostor syndrome stuff, but I digress; when I think about me thinking about my process, I don't have brainstorm sessions and to date just write videos about things I already know)

Getting prompts here gets me to think about and say things I'd normally never consider. I value that greatly. And this tumblr has even been the inspiration for some of my most popular Youtube videos (my "Definitive Way to play Sonic Adventure" video actually came from this tumblr post blowing up).

So I'm glad to be here. I want to keep being here. It's important to me. But I'd be lying if I did not feel like there was a clock ticking.

* There was no room for this anywhere else, but another reason I feel like I should speed up the queue is that the dry spells are slowly getting fewer and farther between, and sometimes old asks get buried under the next tide of new asks. I have something like 1300 unanswered posts in my inbox these days, but I rarely fill the queue with more than 5-10 posts anymore.

#questions #Anonymous #ask #ask blog #inside baseball #I will write the hell out of anything you ask me to #nobody knows what they're doing 🎵

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layzeal · 2 years

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ohhh my god i just realized the Name for it, and don't get me wrong i've done this as well for the sake of humor, but sometimes people do give wwx the "shen yuan" treatment

#if you haven't read SV: shen yuan is the protagonist #and he has like. 87 layers of internalized homophobia and denial to go through #while also thinking that every single man around him is beautiful and attractive and would make a great father if his children #and i do see ppl do that to wwx sometimes #there was a post i rbed a while ago that was on my queue #and when i saw it after it posted i was like ''haha funnie'' but also ''this sounds way more like sqq than wwx''#it was about how reading the novel is wild because wwx is over there describing ever man as handsome #but here's the thing: he's NOT #there's this common mdzs misinterpretation that modao is told from wwx's pov #or that he's the narrator. he isn't!!!#the text VERY often will give you the internal thoughts of other characters #and describe events from an outside perspective. it even dunks on wwx from time to time #the person describing everyone around as handsome isn't wwx. it's the narrator!! (not necessarily mxtx either)#hmmm this would be better with examples and stuff. maybe i'll post it later #but yeah fellas. SV is told from shen yuan's pov and his as third-p narrator #modao however is NOT. the narrator just follows him around more often and gives us his personal thoughts #but that's not exclusive to him!#okay im done #lmk if i should make a more in-depth analysis of POV and narration in modao #modao #lace speaks

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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neversetyoufree · 2 years

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The Big Navigation Post

Looking for something on this blog? All the tags I use are listed below, along with a couple key masterposts.

Happy scrolling!

Links:

Meta Masterpost

Character Tag Masterpost

Tags:

About Andie: anything personal I say on here that isn’t vnc

Rebagel: reblogs

Noé Arqueueviste: my queue tag

Art: what it says on the tin

Comics: art, but sequential

Ask: what it says on the tin. I also tag asks with “anon” or the url of the asker

English Major Hours: any kind of analysis/detailed discussion that’s not a theory

Theory: theorizing about what’s yet to come

Others' Meta: analysis reblogged from other people

[Character Name] My Beloved: posts centered on that character

Meta: posts about vnc as a piece of media, rather than the story itself

Jokes: good old-fashioned shitposts and memes, or anything else I post just because I think it’s funny

Liveblog: immediate reactions to new content

Anime/Manga: if i’m specifically talking about one or the other, this’ll specify

Dub: anything from the anime's english dub

Comparison: posts comparing vnc to other media

Parallels: posts comparing one part of vnc to another part

The Ace Agenda: anything about asexuality or aromanticism in vnc

The Gay Agenda: queerness in VnC (not related to ship content)

The Vanoé Agenda: Vanoé posts and other posts about their relationship

[Ship/Grouping Name] Tag: posts about those characters together

Video: what is says on the tin

Fic: fanfiction

Mochitwit: extraneous mochijun content, especially from her twitter

Bonus: content outside the main manga, the anime, and Mochijun's twitter

Playlistposting: me assigning music to VnC

Translation: comparing VnC in different languages

Organization: navigational info like this post

Bump: reblogging my own old posts/self promotion

#organization

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theminecraftbee · 2 years

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I posted 9,263 times in 2021

1240 posts created (13%)

8023 posts reblogged (87%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 6.5 posts.

I added 4,784 tags in 2021

#from the queue - 3217 posts

#answered - 454 posts

#last life spoilers - 313 posts

#hermitcraft - 226 posts

#ask game - 133 posts

#last life smp - 121 posts

#empires smp - 98 posts

#acacia - 86 posts

#stream liveblogging - 78 posts

#a bee fic - 58 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#(also this is scheduled because when i saw it i was still knee-deep in care and keeping of a minecraft player and didn't want to interrupt)

My Top Posts in 2021

thinking about various facts of the hermitcraft economy I continue to appreciate such as:

the way that builders seem to always sell redstone components (makes sense they aren’t using them but is a little funny)

the continued equilibrium between ‘hermit who needs to dig deep hole’ and ‘hermit who needs to do a lot of terraforming’

there are always a few shops that sell content/bits more than they actually sell goods or services and they’re always fantastic (the hair salon, for example)

law of end users: if your shop has any fancy redstone powering it, someone WILL break it.

redstoners who build elaborate farms because they can and then incidentally realize they can also sell the product, actually

every single underhanded horrible little capitalist deal that inevitably occurs, because hermits are apparently also horrible little capitalists at heart

ious are worth more than any diamond

there’s just a lot of fun things to appreciate here really, outside of like, the LOTS of individual plotlines that spawn from the hermitcraft economy. love a lot how much this is a part of hermitcraft

2355 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 22:12:22 GMT

can i just say. i find it immensely funny that, so far, the only group that seems to be entirely immune to derpcoins is boatem. grian is just like “these are useless fake money”, impulse called them toys, mumbo is... mumbo... the only exception here is pearl and that’s because she got conned in on the strider thing. scar took them at one point but that’s because he thought he was stealing them for free and he has not gone back since

i just find this really funny that boatem, pinnacles of common sense who think it’s a good idea to compete against each other in business, build a pit to the void, and move charged creepers. boatem. they’re the ones who looked at derpcoin and went “that’s a scam”. boatem,

2485 notes • Posted 2021-09-14 21:27:27 GMT

also, even DOCM77 isn’t sure if the lag bomb is a good idea to use. it’s, uh, that bad. it sounds terrifying. it’s apparently directional. also he was apparently given it, unprompted, by one of the hivemind over discord after his episode, his and ren’s original plan more involved. mass amounts of screaming goats?

honestly i hope he does both,

2684 notes • Posted 2021-11-08 04:59:09 GMT

okay for those of you who aren’t joe stream watchers I think an important detail to add to “boatem hole’s haunted” lore is:

so joe’s been convinced boatem’s cursed since like. at least september.

he had “we don’t go to boatem” up for an entire stream as a joke. people bring up boatem and he refuses to go. this is made worse by the fact that he gets anxious every time he DOES go, which inevitably snowballs. the root of this was that time he accidentally blew up grian’s base because nothing was lit properly after dying more than once to grian’s tegg trap. scar cemented it by creeper pranking a joe anxiously trying to shop in harmless harvests. now whenever he goes he’s so worried that he then does stupid things like try to sleep in the boatem pole. which then go wrong. which then further convinces him the whole place is cursed. etc, etc.

my point here is that joe clearly thinks boatem is haunted but I think it’s funnier if. it has nothing to do with whatever eldritch horror that’s lurking there. he’s convinced the place is a cursed no-go zone and he’s come to, perhaps, the correct solution, he’s just used the wrong formula. he thinks it’s haunted because he’ll accidentally break someone’s build. meanwhile the creature from the void is like “how does he resist my call so well”. and the answer is: the joe hills difference.

3375 notes • Posted 2021-11-09 19:21:48 GMT

OH SHIT THE MOON GETS SLIGHTLY BIGGER AFTER EACH EARTHQUAKE WHAT THE HECK

3604 notes • Posted 2021-11-18 04:34:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #huh. i am unsurprised by this #i am boring my top tag is my queue organizational tag LOL #also my top post being that time i accidentally scared everyone into thinking the real-life moon was growing feels. on-brand #as does my top two posts both being joe hills posting #also acacia you're apparently in my ask box just THAT MUCH huh

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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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submission: we need to talk about ttb (spade-riddles)

Hey Cam. Seeing that ask defending TTB’s doxxing has sort of pushed me to finally share some of my story on Tumblr, I guess. I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about this to anyone fully, so this will probably be long, but I hope you don’t mind me venting.

I’m one of the people that got emailed by TTB. I don’t feel comfortable posting this off anon, but I was in a Discord server with you and @bisluthq and some other people back in Dec/Jan. I don’t know if you remember me, but my name on there was one word and began with an L and ended with an S.

I want to share the full story, but I also don’t feel comfortable with sharing certain details publicly because I’m still very wary of getting outed further by her if she sees this, so I’m gonna be vague about some things

Request to her followers — If you see this, please don’t send this to her. Like I’m genuinely asking you not to because I don’t trust her not to cross any more lines. My dad is a major homophobe with serious anger issues who has literally been arrested for violence before, and she doesn’t really think carefully or maybe even care about how any actions she takes could lead to people being harmed, so I’m not eager to see how she might react.

Anyway, I first got an email back in December, and I was really freaked out by it at first. I spoke to one of my mutuals about it, and although we both agreed it was super weird and invasive and creepy, we ended up trying to see the funny side of it. So, I kinda just brushed it off and moved on. I was mainly just really confused about why I had been targeted because at the time, I thought it was only me who’d gotten an email like that. I didn’t understand why she’d specifically targeted me instead of other people who she clearly disliked a lot more.

About a week later, I saw someone on Tumblr mentioning a strange email, and I realised other people must have gotten them too. I spoke to Nat about what happened to me and ended up in the Discord

At the time, I felt like I’d gotten off really easy comparatively to others because I initially didn’t realise that she’d contacted anyone else. And so I tried to act chill about it because I didn’t want to make things about me, but honestly, I was extremely anxious. I felt on edge for over a week. I would keep checking her blog again and again because I was super worried that she would post our personal details publicly. I scrolled through my entire blog from start to finish and deleted a lot of posts that were either personal or that I just didn’t want anyone I knew in real life to read.

This part I have to be vague about because it would basically give away who I am, but it was only a while later when I thought I was in the clear that someone I knew in real life texted me and mentioned seeing a weird email about me. The email had been sent a while back, and they’d been shown it by the original recipient/s. Multiple people had been shown it, but luckily (kinda), only two of those people were actually people I saw on a regular basis

I’m mostly closeted, but I’m kind of technically out to a few of my immediate family members. But it’s very much a DADT situation because they’re not accepting, and they like to just pretend I’m straight. And so I basically have to act closeted even when I’m around them, and I can’t even ALLUDE to being gay.

But with my dad, it’s different. He’s very homophobic. I’m only gonna mention this next part so that people understand what kind of dangerous situation that TTB could have put me in. (And the other people that she doxxed too because she didn’t know how safe their individual situations were). It’s all really personal, and I wouldn’t ordinarily feel comfortable sharing any of this at all, even anonymously, but I think it needs to be said because her actions were extremely fucking irresponsible.

Right, so when I first “came out” to my dad, it was actually an accident, and he reacted… extremely badly. This was back in like… 2018 or 2019, I can’t remember the exact year

(TW // physical abuse, homophobia)

He was extremely angry, literally shaking. He yelled at me, he described in graphic detail how he was going to “break every bone in my body”, “strangle the life out of me”, “drown me”, etc. He kept telling me that I’m disgusting and going to Hell, you get the idea. He was having a lot of fun with making strangling motions and stabbing motions with his hands, and he kept slamming his hand onto the table. That went on for about 15 minutes, and then he stood up and threw a chair from the dining table at me. That was fun lol. And he punched me in the head pretty hard which kinda knocked me back. I felt dizzy, I had to sit down on the floor. At that point, my mum who had been crying and asking him to stop physically intervened, and he ended up storming out of the house instead. My mum’s a genuinely good person btw. She’s a little homophobic, but she cares about me a lot, and I’m very grateful for her. She hates him too, but she’s kinda stuck with him… It wasn’t her fault

He literally hates gay people. He complains about us on the regular. One time, he threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen just because there was a gay male couple kissing onscreen. Another time, he threw a rock at a gay man on the street. There was also a time where he forced a few of my siblings (who didn’t want to do it) to throw peeled oranges out of the window at people celebrating pride while he drove past them and yelled insults at them. He found that really funny. Anyway, I’m sure you guys get the idea of what kind of person he is

He hasn’t laid a hand on anybody in several months though, so I do think he’s trying to be better at least. Like he’s still verbally abusive and controlling and awful, but I appreciate that he’s at least making an effort to calm down with the hitting and kicking and stuff

Anyway, with my dad, it’s less DADT and more that I think he’s got it in his head that he managed to scare me into “seeing the error of my ways” and that I’ve “stopped choosing to be gay” and that I’m now straight. So, if it had been HIM who had gotten that email, it would’ve been like… extremely bad. Like I’m getting anxious just thinking about it. And this is why I’m so angry at TTB. It was extremely, extremely irresponsible of her to not consider these kinds of possibilities before she sent out her stupid emails. She’s supposed to be an ally, but it didn’t even cross her mind that these emails would lead to people being outed and possibly even harmed?? It’s not okay at all. I’m just very grateful that she didn’t send one to him because I don’t even know what kind of situation I would be in right now.

Anyway, enough about my fucking awful dad… I feel uncomfortable that I even typed all of that out, but I wanted people to understand how dangerous her actions could have been. Like I mean, my dad’s got PTSD and extreme anger issues from his teenage years, so I do try not to judge him TOO harshly, but there’s no excuse for being a huge bigot or occasionally violent. The idea of him being the one who got that email is still so scary to me. Like my heart is racing just thinking about it

One of the people that DID read the email was the male friend I mentioned earlier though. He was shown it by someone else for a particular reason, and he was a very important person to me. Like he was a good guy, we were close, he helped me out with certain personal issues I have and is one of only two people that I know in real life that I felt comfortable confiding in about them. We’d always meet up once a week, sometimes twice, and we’d just talk about stuff and make an effort to help each other out with things. Like he was very important to me.

It turns out that he’d looked through my blog before I’d got around to scrubbing it, and he asked me if I was gay in person the next time we met up. I couldn’t lie because like… he’d have known I was lying right to his face. So, I told him I was, and you should have seen his face. It made me feel so awful about myself. He looked really stunned and shocked and kinda uncomfortable. Like it got so awkward, and I started rambling and making things worse. He was avoiding eye contact, and my voice was shaking.

I ended up making up an excuse to leave about 5 mins later and had an actual anxiety attack. Again, this is embarrassing and something I’d never usually talk about online, but I just want to get it all off my chest so that I can move past it all.

So, I was like on the verge of tears (I don’t cry easily), I couldn’t breathe properly, I was pacing around the building, and I just wanted to escape, so I headed straight for the doors. There was a queue of about 100 people lined up and waiting to leave, and I couldn’t think straight or breathe and just needed to be outside, so I tried to go out through the other exit which is for staff only. The security guard stopped me and basically publicly humiliated me in front of all of those people. He loudly shamed me and said I “didn’t have any decency” for attempted to jump the queue, lectured me in this really condescending tone, and then sent me right to the back of that huge line. Meanwhile, I was literally in the midst of a bad anxiety attack.

And then I eventually got outside and had to call my mum to come and pick me up instead of just making my own way home like I usually do. She’s amazing though tbh because she actually came to get me and didn’t even question why. I had to skip all of my plans for the rest of the day and instead just hid upstairs in my bedroom with the lights off until the next day. I refused to tell any of my family members what had happened even though they kept asking. I just felt so, so awful, and my anxiety was through the roof

To be honest, before that happened, my mindset was like: “I mean, if I get outed, it obviously wouldn’t be good, but I think I’d be able to deal with it fine”. But then, when it actually happened, and I saw the way my close friend reacted, I had like a whole emotional breakdown lol. It’s like, you think you’d be fairly chill in a situation, but when it actually happens, your reaction can be really unpredictable. I was so embarrassed by everything about that entire incident. I didn’t even want to show my face the next day.

It’s been almost two months since that happened, and in that entire time, my friend has contacted me once. We literally used to meet up once or twice a week (and during lockdown, we’d do video calls or phone calls instead), but since then, we’ve barely even spoken. Things are just so awkward now. I know this sounds stupid, but I feel like TTB’s taken one of my best friends away from me. I don’t think he’s a homophobe or anything, he has openly gay friends and is fairly accepting, but I think it’s just the way that he found out that has just made things so weird between us now. I feel like if I’d had the chance to come out to him myself in my own way, he wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I’m gonna text him next week and see if we can maybe try to fix our friendship, but I doubt it at this point

The other people who were shown the email, I mostly just avoid. I don’t really care about them knowing that much because I wasn’t close to them, but it’s just really embarrassing knowing that they probably scrolled through my Tumblr blog before I scrubbed it

And about Tumblr… This used to be the only place that I could fully be myself. It was like a “safe space” for me which feels ironic now. But I haven’t been active on my blog since December. I still lurk occasionally, but I just don’t feel comfortable here anymore. I did consider deleting my current blog and starting afresh with a new one, but I don’t think it’d make much of a difference… Like she’s kind of ruined Tumblr for me. I do still enjoy reading people’s blogs every now and then, but I don’t feel relaxed here anymore, I just feel on edge.

It’s mainly the fact that SHE’S still here. She still has a platform, she still has a bunch of followers. It’s been so hard seeing her face next to no consequences whatsoever for the horrible things that she’s done to so many different people. And it upsets me that she hasn’t even acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Plus, it makes me feel even worse that the Hard Kay blogs and some other people are still supporting her and pretending that this whole thing just didn’t happen. Like do they just not care? Or is it that she’s twisted things and made them believe that the situation was different to what it actually was?

And tbh, this whole situation has even set me back in my own sort of personal self-acceptance journey. I had such bad internalised homophobia when I was younger, and it took me so many years to get to a place where I had mostly accepted myself. But now I just feel ashamed again, and I’ve gone back to my old habit of trying to force myself to be attracted to men. Like I downloaded Tinder the other day and set my preference to men and was swiping through profiles. It’s kinda silly actually. I did snap out of it and delete the app the next day though. But I don’t know, I feel like this whole thing has just kinda fucked with me a bit. I am trying to work this stuff out and get back to normal though. I think I’ll be good again in maybe a month or so, hopefully.

And… yeah. I just really resent her, and this situation upsets me. Because the reason she did this was so petty and ridiculous, and I guess she didn’t even realise how much it would impact people? Like I do know that my situation wasn’t as bad as some of the other people’s situations, and I feel really bad for them, and I hope they’re all doing okay. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for them. But it still has impacted me a lot more than I actually thought it would. I thought I’d get over it within a couple of weeks. But it’s been like two months, and I’m still not completely over it

I know it might not sound like a huge thing, but being outed really does affect you, even if it’s only to a few people. Because to me, I feel like I’ve had my sense of like, security and comfort taken away, and it’s kinda distressing. Sorry if I sound dramatic with any of this, I just really needed to say all of this stuff to other people besides myself lol

Like her actions have literally led to me being outed to a few people. A close friendship that I had has basically been ruined. I don’t feel comfortable or secure on Tumblr anymore, even though it used to be an important outlet for me. I’ve had a resurgence of anxiety about my sexuality. Etc.

And again, my dad is extremely homophobic and literally made death threats to me and physically attacked me back when I accidentally came out to him in 2018 or 2019. And if he had gotten that email, I don’t even know what would have happened. I don’t think he would have like… SERIOUSLY physically harmed me, but there would definitely have been a repeat of the first incident. More throwing chairs at me and hitting and screaming and death threats. I don’t really want to think about it.

It just bothers me that she didn’t even consider that? Like did it not even cross her mind? And my dad is bad, but I’m sure there are people in the fandom who have even worse parents, and she could have got one of those people instead. It’s just so… I don’t know, it’s just so frustrating to me.

Anyway, I just hate her for what she did… Like maybe I shouldn’t, but I really do resent her so much, and I don’t think I could forgive her even if she apologised to us all (which I don’t think she even would because she doesn’t seem to have any decency whatsoever). The least she could do is at least express some kind of remorse, but she just genuinely doesn’t care, and that’s super messed up. All over some stupid Tumblr blog that is much less important than she thinks it is.

But anyway… I apologise for the whole rant, and if anybody read all the way down to here, I appreciate it. I do actually feel a bit better now that I’ve got this all typed out. And I’m sorry for the oversharing lol, I usually don’t do this, but I just felt like I really needed to tell people and get it off my chest so that I can try to get over it — L

submisssion⬆️⬆️⬆️

ok L i am trying to remain calm here because this isn’t about me. but i am very emotional right now. i am so so so infinitely sorry that you had to go through this harrowing and terrifying experience. ttb (now blogging under spade-riddles) is absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt, that she would put your life, safety, and well-being at risk over a fucking kaylor blog.

please please please im me or get in touch somehow because i want to offer you support. have you been financially impacted by this? we can raise money. do you need therapy? we can help you find the support you need. this community is unequivocally here for you. whatever you need, if it’s in my power to help you get it, i will. you have my solemn promise on that.

i am so deeply and desperately sorry that you have gone through this. i was shaking while reading your story.

i am in touch with other people and we are in discussion about the best way to let tumblr know what happened. this will be a safe space for you (and all of us) again if it’s the last thing i do. this community is 100% here for you in any way we can help, sending you all the support and love we have.

#submission #tw: abuse #tw: homophobia

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mmikmmik2 · 3 years

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If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?

anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.

If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)

One-One as 0. The Fool

Oh my gosh, what am I?

IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.

Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician

The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.

Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.

Kez as II. The High Priestess

“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”

I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl

(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)

But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.

Tuba as III. The Empress

She made me feel like I was warm all the time.

Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.

Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor

Highest number! I'm the leader now.

Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.

Atticus as V. The Hierophant

I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.

Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.

Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.

This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.

Lake as VII. The Chariot

I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!

I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.

Frank as VIII. Strength

I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.

Morgan as IX. The Hermit

I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.

I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.

Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune

We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.

Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.

Lucy as XI. Justice

One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.

Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man

I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.

Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.

Jeremy as XIII. Death

This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.

Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance

Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.

I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."

The Cat as XV. The Devil

I always do the right thing.

Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.

Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower

There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.

Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.

Hazel as XVII. The Star

I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.

When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.

Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon

But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.

Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.

Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun

Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!

I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!

The New Apex as XX. Judgement

"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"

This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.

0 as XI. The World

Ah, train does it again!

It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.

#infinity train #infinity train spoilers #protagonists of IT #Anonymous

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