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kieran-granola · 9 months

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Material Boy

(This one is available on AO3)

When he’s not busy being a vigilante, Tim likes to think that he’s a pretty simple guy. He has normal, civilian friends. He's awkward when he talks to people he wants to bang. He likes skateboarding and playing Warlocks & Warriors. He dropped out of high school.

He also, like many kids of his generation, grew up collecting superhero merchandise and memorabilia.

And yes, maybe he never got out of the habit of collecting super-trinkets even after joining the vigilante game — a fact he keeps between himself and God, he can only imagine how much shit Steph and the others would give him if they knew — but it's not like he steals stuff from the heroes he knows. He just... buys things. A lot of things.

Which brings him to his current problem: the amount of merchandise created depends a lot on a hero's popularity. This means that Superman has insane amounts of merch. Wonder Woman and Batman too, to a lesser extent. In Gotham, Robin does pretty well for kids' stuff, and Nightwing has inspired more than one, uh, adult line of toys.

…But Red Hood? As tacky as brands can get with their products, they know better than to create merch of mass murdering rogues and villains, and unfortunately people aren't sure whether Red Hood qualifies a good guy. This means that Tim's haul is Very Poor when it comes to Hood. Which is an issue on account of Tim's massive crush on Jason.

How is a man supposed to pine in dignity when he can't even find a decent body pillow to warm his lonely bed? How?!

Tim obviously has to fix this problem. He has to rehabilitate Red Hood and ensure a steady supply of bling for his display cases. And shelves. And furniture. And possibly wardrobe, he's not picky.

He has to.

Which is why he ends up raving about Red Hood, his crime-fighting exploits, and his charity work on social media. He uses all of his covers' accounts and even creates a few more, enthusing people and posting praise until, finally, his amateur PR campaign snowballs.

He knows his job is done when his hashtags start trending outside of the Gotham metro area, and the first Red Hood plushie comes out of Build-A-Bear.

___________________________

Jason is bemused when he first gets wind of his rising popularity. Sure, it's nice to be appreciated and the genuine testimonials from Gothamites warm the cockles of his dead, dead heart, but where did the hype come from? And why are people trying to ask him for autographs? He's a crime lord! He's dangerous and scary, and people should definitely not feel comfortable enough to ask him for selfies!

…Oh fuck, is that it? Is someone trying to sabotage his reputation?

Disturbed, Jason reaches out to Oracle for some help with finding the person behind this heinous plan. He's not entirely sure why Babs laughs for five minutes straight after hearing his question, but she eventually tells him that the original accounts extolling his virtues belong to Red Robin's covers.

Shrugging to himself, he suits up and heads to Tim's nest. He busts in, ready to deliver the wrath of the Hood on Tim for making him look like a hero when he's a Very Mean, Very Dangerous Badass… only to find Tim eating Froot Loops out of some violently lime liquid, while wearing what looks like chibi Red Hood pajamas, complete with little cat ears over the stylized helmet.

Suffice to say, that display takes the wind out of Jason's sails. He holsters his weapons back and takes off his helmet so Tim can properly appreciate how appalled he is before speaking.

"Okay, what the fuck, Timbo?"

Tim blinks. "You wanna be a bit more specific there?"

"I wouldn't even know where to start. Just. What the fuck."

"Well, I'm having dinner?" Tim tries, shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

"Froot Loops in, what is that, cucumber juice? That's dinner?" Jason stares harder.

Tim swallows his spoonful thickly. "It's Mountain Dew, actually."

"Okay but that's worse. You get how that's worse, right?"

"Did you seriously come here to talk about my meal plans?"

"I came here to ask why you decided to ruin my street cred, and to kick your ass—" Jason winces as Tim eats another mouthful, "—but apparently you're doing a great job at hurting yourself on your own."

Tim gives him a blank look. "I ruined your street cred? How?"

"You told people I'm a hero," Jason says accusingly.

"Ah, I see what the problem is. Look, Jason, this might come as a shock to you and I understand if you need to take a minute to process this very new piece of information but… you are a hero, dumbass."

Jason seriously considers throwing his helmet at Tim but, with the state Tim is in, he's pretty sure it would feel like pouring water on a drowning man.

"I'm not the kind of hero they make jammies of! I mean, what the fuck are you even wearing?"

Tim pulls on his shirt to show off the design, perking up. "These? They're Red Catting Hood limited edition PJs. They're cute, right?"

You're cute, Jason mutters under his breath, before taking a few menacing steps forward. "They're ridiculous. I'm not a cat. And I'm definitely not cute."

"We're going to have to agree to disagree there."

Jason stares at him. "You think I'm cute?"

"No, I think you're a cat," Tim deadpans, still eating his disgusting mixture.

"I… I tried to kill you, remember?!"

"Yeah, you did. And now I have little cartoon kitties of you on my jim-jams. Life's full of curveballs, isn't it?"

Jason is pretty sure he's having a minor breakdown in Tim's kitchen. He opens and closes his mouth silently several times, confusion robbing him of his words. Tim watches him for a couple of minutes, then he stands up and shuffles closer to pat him on the back.

Jason lets out a very unmanly squeak of horror when he spots matching Red Catting Hood slippers on Tim's feet.

Tim shushes him. "Hey, it's okay, dude. I understand that you don't know how to deal with people expressing positive emotions in your direction after getting the Bruce special growing up, but it's gonna be fine. Just breathe. You'll get used to it."

Jason stares at Tim with wide eyes. Then he gently takes him by the shoulders.

"Timmers. Tim. You crazy little birdie. Telling me I'm cute, talking about emotions... Are you okay? Is this a cry for help? Talk to me."

"You ask me that now?" Tim gives him a judgmental look. "I can't believe that's where you draw the line. I mean, where's your 'Be my Robin' enthusiasm?"

"It drowned in your bowl of Mountain Dew next to the Froot Loops. No, but seriously. If I'm your last resort, then you can tell me what's wrong. No need for tacky PJs, I'll listen."

Tim's eyes narrow. "Okay, then listen to this. First of all, my PJs aren't tacky. Second, I like you, dumbass, and yeah, I think you're cute. And third, I hyped you up on social media because I wanted Red Hood merch for my collection."

Jason takes a second to let that confession wash over him. He regrets removing his helmet. He's blushing, he knows he's blushing. In fact he must have been a redhead in another life, because he must be reminiscent of a tomato at this point, and oh no. He's a grown-ass man, why is he blushing like a nerd for this incredibly sleep-deprived, adorable maniac?

"You have a collection?" he squeaks.

"Uh, yeah. I started it when I was 4." Tim raises his eyebrows. "But nevermind that, are you seriously going to leave me hanging? I just told you I like you, man."

"I don't know what to say," Jason chokes out. "This... You're—I'm not good for you."

"Sorry but the entire internet would disagree. You're a hero, remember? And I can take care of myself, thank you very much. I don't need to be patronized."

Jason gestures at Tim's dinner. "That is demonstrably false."

Tim pouts. "Well. If you were my boyfriend, you could make sure I eat properly."

"Is that what you want? To be my b—" Jason's voice breaks. He swallows before trying again. "To be my boyfriend?"

"I mean, yeah?" Tim shrugs. "That's not why I hyped you up, I'm not kidding about the merch thing. But. Yeah. That would be… Good. Nice."

"Oh."

"Is that something you'd like too?"

Jason licks his lips. "Yeah, I—I think so. Yeah. There's just one thing though..."

Hope sparkles in Tim's eyes. "What?"

"It's just... I can't let people think you like me more than I like you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means—" Jason tugs on the fabric of Tim's PJs, "—that for every Red Hood item you own, you have to get me some matching Red Robin merch."

Tim grins a wide, bright, genuine smile that almost offsets the deep purple bruising under his tired eyes. "It's a deal."

___________________________

(They show up to the Manor together two months later to announce their relationship. They walk in hand-in-hand, Jason wearing a Red Robin hoodie, Tim in a Red Hood henley. Damian doesn't even have to pretend to gag at the sight.)

#jaytim #jason todd #tim drake #if you're wondering why Tim didn't just commission some artist for Red Hood merch #well that's because he can't flex online about owning limited editions if there's no market other than him #kieran writes

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xappetites · 8 months

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one thing leads to another

Russell Adler x f!Reader (Bell) | Adler is half convinced Bell's using tenderness as a battering ram on purpose, he also needed someone to understand him more than he would ever admit, shit's fucked but that's par for the course, as always i sort of added a year between finding Bell and the rest of the game | word count: 1,672

London is a mess, but then again, all cities are. And this one has the benefit of both being friendly ground but not exactly home, in case the whole thing goes sideways.

Besides, it’s not like Adler’s an amateur. He wouldn’t have started this game without the certainty that he’d be able to handle it, roll with all of the possible outcomes.

No, this was calculated.

He purposely picked the side of town where metro police drag their feet, no matter how urgent the call. And he’s carrying a trusty sedative in a hypodermic needle retrofitted into a pen, so all he really needs to worry about is Bell.

Quite frankly, Bell’s all he’s been worrying about for the past eight months, though for the most part he can justify it as just another job hazard. The rest he blames on being a sexually active human with an average libido and moderately good circulation.

Sure, he’s seen her bleeding out, sweat drenched and bruised from several rounds of interrogation. Feverish, mumbling, staring into his soul like she could tear into him with her eyes alone. And she still slides silk soft over the ridges of his brain.

It was easy to ignore, all things considered; in that dark room with nothing but the microphone and the bell. To watch her, past whatever attraction he can’t shake, looking closely for results. But now she’s out in the world, fully convinced that she’s known him for decades; now she remembers a different Russell Adler. The one he was before the crooked line of his life proved to him that he wasn’t one for an easy ride; the man who would banter mid firefight, with the kind of gusto that makes him roll his eyes coming from Park and Lazar over comms.

And sure, that means she’s comfortable enough to follow his instructions without much back-talk and she's amenable enough that she’ll take initiative to do what’s best for the mission on her own. She’s efficient and useful; and she claws that old playfulness out of him kicking and screaming. Even if he tries to resist, to ignore her easy jabs, the gallows humor, it’s those damn eyes and the light of affection in them that forces him to respond just to focus on something else.

It’s so obvious that even Sims commented on it, how he hadn’t heard chatter like that from him in years. So maybe that’s why Adler wanted this meeting to be private; why he asked Bell to slip away from Park when he called. Selling it as an added challenge when he dared her to find him in London with nothing to go on but the arrival time of his flight. A test of skill and loyalty.

Just as Park’s had Bell here for a week. Officially, for a briefing of the few leads MI6 has in Berlin. Off the record, offering proof of concept to the powers that be: one shining, sweet success to prove what programming can do. Work. That’s what’s behind Adler standing alone in a no name club, not the impulse to hog Bell all to himself, or the unspeakable notion that he misses her.

He’s too professional to let it show, and he knows what needs to be done, but that’s the filthy truth of him, the way his hands itch for skin on skin contact. The manufactured familiarity that allows her to touch him all the time —hands solid on his shoulders or her thigh pressed against his in the back of a cab. All the more tempting for being forbidden. More nagging in the back of his mind because he’s stealing her from the man he’s hunted for so long.

The sensation makes Adler lay his palms flat on the bar top, check his watch. All he can do at the moment is wait.

Two more minutes to his midnight meeting with Bell. Two minutes that are nothing in the grand scheme of his standing stakeout record of several months. Minutes that he watches tick like molasses over his wrist. Anticipation settling horrible in the pit of his stomach with the possibility that, once out of Park’s watchful eye, Bell will abscond back to Perseus. And won’t that be a fun one to explain. A betrayal he can already taste, that hurts in a way that it shouldn’t. Burning as it goes down like the whiskey that’s suddenly shoved his way over the bar.

“I didn’t order this.”

“Your missus said you looked thirsty.”

The bartender tosses a wry smile his way too, nodding in the general direction of a very smug Bell. Who, at least, has the decency not to appear out of the smoke like this is a private eye movie, she just simply is there, close enough to touch, when she wasn’t the second before.

“You made it,” he greets her, watches her grin grow slow and tilted over her mouth. Her hips angled to squeeze in next to him, lean her weight on the bar and steal a sip off his drink. And Adler hates how proud he sounds, how his shoulders lose tension when she takes the first, poison-taster gulp of liquor like a half apology for ambushing him.

“You doubted it?”

“Park can be hard to sidestep.”

Bell outright giggles then, smile blinding in her satisfaction, but she doesn’t offer anything else. She won’t spoil the magician’s trick.

“So what’s your story?” She asks instead, dipping closer still, until Adler can feel the ghostly touch of her hair against his cheek. “If this were to go tits up. Who are you tonight?”

“Well, you already told the bartender, I’m your husband.”

“Got you sore about that?”

There’s laughter in Bell’s voice, a tease of her fingertips straightening the collar of his jacket. Of course he’s fucking sore, with the way the thought goes right between his legs, aches in the pit of his stomach. Here with her lips on the rim of his glass, her body nudging insistently into his personal space like picking at a wound.

“Just wondering how believable it’d be for me to have a wife so beautiful.”

“Please, Russ, you’re the most attractive man I know.”

She moves, digging out a cigarette and flagging the bartender for an ashtray, and the extra inch of distance is such a deep relief that it takes Adler half a second to realize she’s smoking when they were supposed to have culled that out of her.

“I thought you’d quit,” he tries, as a thin, icy stream of uncertainty slides down his spine. He tries to be rational, smoking is the least dangerous of Bell’s old habits; complicated by the physiological dependence on nicotine to boot. This doesn’t have to be a sign of impending doom, he just has to keep an eye on it.

“In this line of work? It wasn’t meant to last,” she pauses, takes a drag and holds the smoke for long enough to notice she’s having his exact brand, familiar and comforting. “Besides, you give me cravings.”

The eyes, it’s always the fucking eyes. The way they catch on his scar, climbing along until she’s staring him down with nothing but open, honest desire, and a sort of sadness underneath. Like she’s given up on the magnetic pull she feels for him as soon as she admits to it.

Bell knows he’d put the job above anything, knows that’s what nuked his marriage. She knows because he told her, made her privy to things the likes of Sims only suspect. It was easy too, once he got started, to let the words get away from him; maybe not during the first session, but by the twentieth? The fiftieth? He’d find himself in the jungle of Vietnam and in the weeds of his personal hang ups all the same.

We fought together, bled together.

A mantra that to a degree poisoned him too. Enough to make him need this, once at the very least, to hold Bell steady by the back of the neck, tasting the smoke and the surprise on her lips. Then he has to do it again, since Bell’s crushing the cigarette out so she can pull herself closer by his lapels, run her fingers through his hair with a whisper of ‘fuck Russ’. And he is absolutely fucked in so many ways.

Fucked in the ease of walking beside her back to his hotel. And in how she sighs against his mouth when her cold hands sneak under clothes in the elevator. Adler feels his heart beating in double time as he finally works himself inside her, inch by inch so he can’t hide from this. He could regret it, he already does, as he struggles to make this last as long as he can, but he can never pretend it didn’t happen.

He’ll always have the way she clings to him, his name stumbling out of her when he hits the angle that makes her melt, to weigh on his conscience. He’ll keep coming back to her shoulder, still slick from the shower as he rested his forehead on it, because that was the third time he’d come that night and it never lost its edge to feel her around him.

These are the things Adler knows will haunt him. Keep him up at night until he finds the next excuse to have her, in a different hotel and a different city, with the same burning desperation.

And it’s what he sees, clear as day, playing in her mind that night as he tries to drag Perseus’ location out of her. Every kiss and every single time he drew meaningless shapes over her skin while she was curled up against his side.

The way he demands the information but has not let go of her hand, the fact that they both know how this ends. And he can only fucking hope, with her brilliant eyes burning through him again, that she can forgive him for falling for her.

#m: cod #r: smut #russell adler x reader #russell adler x bell #personal #i want this man to be so down fucking bad he can't even live with himself #'it was never personal' my ass

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girlmetalsonic · 1 year

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i feel like wave 2 of the dlc may be relating to 8's memories? more tin foil hat theory stuff under the cut. (also full disclosure.. im an agents fan and im assuming this is agent 8 even though it really could be some random octoling LULZ)

SO we see agent 8 in a white, dead coral version of inkopolis square.. the battle tower looks to be under construction almost? maybe thats how its always looked but to me it looks MUCH higher and less finished?

and here we see pearl in the same area as seen by the background. important to note here is that she's smiling, if the square was really destroyed like that i dont think she would seem so happy. she isnt one to be super calm when it pertains to the destruction of the square as we see at the end of octo expansion with her reactions to failing to defeat commander tartar.

this makes me think she isnt ACTUALLY there with 8, and its just some kind of reflection of their memories.

in this image we see them clutching their head VERY SIMILARLY to how they do at the start of octo expansion after losing their memory, further connecting the dlc to agent 8's memories.

this part is more speculation but the glaring light effects (not the shine, the box-looking things) kind of looks like the lights that come out from the windows of a train? and looking to the background it almost looks like pillars you would find in a subway? its not super clear but to me this further relates to their memories of the deepsea metro.

in this image we see several versions of agent 8.. to me this seems like it means theyre struggling to find identity due to their amnesia? the one near the front is colored with marinas color pallet, possibly just due to the lighting but it is important to note that 8's hair is generally warm colored in all of the other art for the dlc; maybe hinting at looking to marina and trying to be like her?

further implying the search for identity.. we have agent 8 staring at their reflection, we cant fully see their expression, but judging from the mouth they look confused? maybe due to their memory loss they dont remember who they are?

taken less literally it could just be a more abstract sense of searching for themself and the artwork is just meant to represent that search without actually being them not recognizing their reflection.

here we see pearl and marina(?) the image is very blurry and its unclear if that is actually marina due to her face being partially obscured but im going to assume it is because shes with pearl. pearl looks.. kind of young in this? maybe not a child but definitely younger than she appears in game. its not super clear what shes holding but based on her expression i would say its probably a camera/phone?

marinas full expression isnt totally shown but it looks like shes smiling and from the way shes holding herself it seems like shes laughing? again its not super clear but it looks like shes holding a splattershot type weapon.

the background is a little too blurry to make out anything super confidently but it SORT OF looks like the battle tower in the background, it might just be marinas hair since there isnt a super defined edge.

here we see marina clearly, she is looking off screen and looks worried and like she is in the middle of saying something? because of the glitchy effects surrounding her it makes me think she might also be a part of 8's memories.

you can see the same blocky train lighting from before, but lower this time.

i originally thought the object closest to the camera might be the tartar goop stuff, but looking closer it doesnt really make sense for there to be holes in it. the farther object im pretty sure is a skull of some sort?

walking away i initially thought this was marina, but looking closer at the shoes they look a lot more like the ones agent 8 was wearing in the overworld shot of the square.

its very difficult to see whats going on in this one, but judging from the tentacles id say its most likely an octarian, probably an octoling. cant say much else besides that other than it looks like theres wires plugged into the top of their head? maybe relating to how octolings are born or created like how at the start of octo expansion in the character creator agent 8 floats around in green goo.

last thing i have any kind of analysis on is this image where we see 8 next to an elevator, looking towards the end of the hallway either at something off screen or at the growing foliage inside the building.

most likely id say this takes place inside the memory world thing? because of the white colors and plants growing indoors.

my main problem with this theory is, how would 8 get inside a memory world? i know there was the mem cakes and all that but unless its some sort of metaphor (which i dont think splatoon would go for something that complex) theres really no feasible way for them to actually be inside their memories? maybe some kind of world that morphs to the thoughts and memories of individuals? its too early to tell.

#splatoon 3 #nintendo direct spoilers #<- idk if ppl care abt that but just in case #all this identity stuff. they could not make 8 more trans if they tried #also my first reaction to seeing the sad marina happy pearl and then a figure walking away was 'PEARLINA DIVORCE DLC???'#thats the real theory. pearl and marina divorce agent 8 is the child.#splatoon #me posts #probably the longest post ive ever made #also sorry for any typos i am writing this on PURE ADRENALINE FROM SEEING THE SQUIDS

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samuelerssonupdates · 2 months

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April 14, 2024. The Metro playoff race is as follows.

NYI (37-27-16) 90 pts (80 GP) - holds M3 spot - most possible points is 92 WSH (38-31-11) 87 pts (80 GP) - holds WC2 spot - most possible points is 91 DET (39-32-9) 87 pts (80 GP) - most possible points is 91 PHI (38-32-11) 87 pts (81 GP) - most possible points is 89 PIT (37-31-12) 86 pts (80 GP) - most possible points is 90

Assuming that PHI wins v WSH on 4.16.24, gaining the maximum possible 89 points, here are the scenarios:

No team can gain more than 2 points.

Although Pittsburgh would tie in points (89) if they gained three in the standings, they hold the regulation wins tiebreaker above us (31 reg Ws to our 30). PIT cannot go 1-0-1.

We hold the regulation win tiebreaker over Detroit (28 reg Ws to our 30). Because they are only two points below us, they are in the same scenario as Pittsburgh; DET cannot go 1-0-1. (They are currently above us in the standings due to points percentage.)

Washington is a funky one. Okay. Here I go. Assume Flyers win on the 16th.

- WSH goes 0-2-0. Yippee!! - WSH goes 0-0-2 for 89 points. Both PHI and WSH have 8 OTWs, 4 in SO. (30 reg Ws per club.) The tiebreaker then, if I did my research correctly is TOTAL WINS; this would be Philadelphia, with 39 wins on the season. - WSH goes 0-1-1 for 88 points. PHI has 89. All good. - WSH goes 1-1-0 for 89 points. PHI wins against them; the tiebreaker, after regulation wins and total wins, is head to head matchups. If we go 2-0-1 against them, gaining 4 points to their 3 against us, we're good. - WSH goes 1-0-1 for 90 points. :NOT GOOD. WSH cannot go 1-0-1. We've been over this with others; no team can gain 3 points.

THE FLYERS CAN CLINCH ON TUESDAY 4.16.24 IF:

4.15.24: Pittsburgh, Detroit both lose in regulation (max possible points not enough or PHI holds tiebreaker) and Washington loses in any scenario AND 4.16.24: Flyers win in regulation or OT. (If Washington wins against Boston, Flyers MUST win in regulation.)

GAMES TO PAY ATTENTION TO

April 14, 2024: None

April 15, 2024: DET v MTL // PIT v NSH // WSH v BOS //

April 16, 2024: PHI v WSH // DET @ MTL

April 17, 2024: PIT @ NYI

📸: Len Redkoles

#not an SEU #flyers #philadelphia flyers

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centralperkchenford · 1 year

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chenford + Tim and Lucy's first real fight as a couple. please let it be about anything other than undercover

Okay I combined two prompts because the one prompt was literally my idea for their fight so it was perfect! Also I was going to make this more.. angsty but decided I liked where it was going without them being apart. Hope you like it! Also I can’t wait to have more time to write so I can post these at a decent hour 🤣

chenford + Tim and Lucy's first real fight as a couple. please let it be about anything other than undercover + Chenford prompt - Tim finds out another sergeant is blocking Lucy on her detective's test. He had no idea and she never mentioned it but someone else does.

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

“Hey Sarge.” Smitty’s voice rang behind Tim and he groans a little. It’s the end of shift and all he wants to do is get in his truck and drive to Lucy’s. Having a conversation with Smitty is very low on his list. He turns to face the man and as always he has a dopey look on his face.

“What do you want Smitty?” He practically growls at the man. It doesn’t seem to faze Smitty.

“I’m just sorry to hear about Chen.” Smitty replies shrugging his shoulders at Tim.

Tim’s heart rate picks up speed a little because the last time he saw Lucy was her coming out of the women’s locker room. They had talked briefly and then she left with his promise that he would be over soon.

“What about Chen?” He asks trying to keep his voice as level as possible. What if something happened to Lucy on the way home? Or did something happen on shift? She seemed perfectly fine, and was acting like herself when he talked to her.

“Well she’s being blocked on the detective exam. By Prim, I guess he didn’t like that she did the five player trade and now he’s blocking her from the detective exam.” Smitty says as if this is an obvious answer

Tim’s heart plummets. He knows that Lucy getting him the metro job was out of the goodness of her heart and she hated seeing him at the desk but..

She had messed with other people’s careers while putting hers on the line. He had been angry at first and it wasn’t just for her not telling him although that was a big part of it. He was angry because she had put a lot on the line for him and now it was coming to bite her in the ass.

Tim clenches his fists by his side. “When did you find this out?” He barks at Smitty.

“A couple weeks ago? After Juarez sister’s case was solved.”

Tim nods at him and then stalks off toward to find Prim. The jackass. As upset as he is at Lucy for not telling him about this little predicament she put herself in. He is still very protective and upset someone would take it out on her. Her heart is always in the right place, and in this case she just was thinking of him.

He finds Prim in the break room and stalks toward him like a man on a mission.

“Prim!” He growls and the man jumps a little startled by Tim’s demeanor.

“Sergeant Bradford what can I help you with?” Tim takes a step toward him. Prim takes a small step back when he sees Tim’s face.

“Why are you blocking Officer Chen from the detective’s exam?”

Tim watches as realization plays across Prim’s face and he frowns deeply. He crosses his arms across his chest and looks at Tim.

“I really don’t appreciate being treated like a player in a chess game just so she could get the guy she’s sleeping with off a desk job.”

Tim growls in annoyance. “So you did it out of spite. That’s mature. Don’t take your anger out on Chen. She did it for me.”

Prim shrugs his shoulders. “Look Bradford. She made her choice. She messed with other people’s careers and actions always have consequences.”

Tim takes a deep breath trying to calm down and reason with the man. “Look. She meant well okay? She knew I was miserable and she didn’t want that. So please don’t block her. She deserves to become detective.”

“If Chen is so concerned about this she should come to me not sic her fuck buddy on me.” He says flippantly.

Tim takes a step towards Prim, ready to bang this idiots head into the wall. Fuck him he thinks.

“I’m her boyfriend. And she doesn’t know I’m talking to you.” He growls his voice low and angry. “Have some damn respect.”

Prim shakes his head. “Honestly that makes it worse. Like I said Bradford she made her choice and if she has a problem with me she will come to me on her own.”

He walks off leaving Tim fuming behind him.

Tim knows this will not the relaxing evening he had planned and had been looking forward to. After leaving the break room, he storms toward his truck. He considered not even going to Lucy’s but he knew she would call and be concerned. And he definitely didn’t want to fight over the phone.

When he gets to Lucy’s he knocks on the door a couple of times probably a little too hard. Lucy answers right away smiling brightly when she sees him.

“Hey why didn’t you use your- what’s wrong?” She asks looking at his face and her smile fades a little. He doesn’t say anything just steps inside the doorway.

“Nothing.” He says a little stiffly and Lucy frowns and steps back so Tim could close the door behind him.

“Okay. Why are you all huffy then?”

Tim resists the urge to roll his eyes and he moves away from Lucy to go into the living room. He hears her take a deep breath and then sigh.

“Tim.” She starts. Tim watches her face as if she’s going to say something else. She decides against it and closes her mouth shut. There’s a brief pause.

“What do you want for dinner?” She asks

“Whatever you want.” He says and he knows he is going to have to talk to her about this. He couldn’t let it fester and build up. But he just isn’t sure how he was going to ask her about it yet. He felt hurt that she didn’t tell him. They could have worked this out together. He saw her nod a little hesitantly. She came over and sits down on the sofa looking up at him expectantly. He sits down next to her not looking at her.

“Tim.” She reaches out to touch him and he moves away jerkily. She makes a hurt noise and that’s what breaks him. He knew he has to say something.

“Why didn’t you tell me Prim was blocking you from the detective’s exam?” He blurts out.

“Who told you about that?” She asks raising her eyebrows so high they go into her hairline. He wonders if she was ever going to tell him about this.

“Smitty.” He says coldly. “It’s funny you didn’t tell me about this or how you got me into metro. I had to hear it from other officers.”

“Tim—” She begins . “I—”

“You could have told me Lucy. I was helping you study.”

“Tim look. I was going to handle it okay? But then you got put on leave and that was more important to help you. And then I just forgot—”

“That’s convenient.” He snaps. “I talked to Prim to try to make him back off but—”

“You what?” She asks. Now she sounds mad and upset. This is definitely not how Tim thought he would be spending his evening. His plans had them a lot closer to each other. Not miles apart on the sofa.

“What is it with you and going to people without talking to me first? I was going to handle it Tim. Now Prim probably thinks I’m even more pathetic because my boyfriend went to him.”

“Who else did I go to?” He asks confused and he finally turns to look at her. Her eyes have unshed tears in them. And she has her hand fisted in the blanket. His heart broke a little seeing her like this. But he knows they need to have this talk.

“Grey.” She snaps. “I told you I was going to transfer and you took it in your own hands and talked to Grey first before talking to me. I can handle things on my own Tim.”

“Lucy.” He says and he sounds exasperated. “I was doing that so you didn’t have to move stations. I didn’t want to go to work everyday and not see you.” And it was true, the thought of not seeing her everyday at work made him nauseous

“And I didn’t want you to resent me because you went to a desk job.”

“I would never—”

“Eventually you would.” She whispers and she sounded so small and hurt. “You would resent me, you love being in the action Tim. You would start to resent me and then everything would be ruined and you would wonder if I was ever worth it.”

“Lucy, of course you are worth it. You always will be.”

“I didn’t tell you about Prim because I didn’t want you confronting him. I know how you get I just wanted to handle it on my own. And I knew even though we had talked it was still sensitive.”

She sighs and turns away from him. He stares at her back and replays her words in his head.

I didn’t want you to resent me because you went to a desk job.

He would never resent her, he couldn’t resent her because she is everything good in his life. He didn’t even hesitate saying yes to the desk job because he knew what they had was serious and real. And he knew she didn’t hesitate when she did the five player trade for him. They both did things for each other and as noble as it was maybe it was actually a problem. Maybe they needed to work things out together, talk about things together.

There is a long period of silence, Lucy is still turned away from him and he was staring ahead. He wondered if he should just get up to leave because he figured that’s where this night was headed.

He stands up. “I should go.” He says quietly and Lucy spins around to face him.

“What? Why?” She asks and he reels back a little because she sounds so shocked that he would even suggest leaving.

“We are fighting Luce. I already ruined this evening so—”

“No!” She stands up quickly and turns to face him. “Tim, this is what couples do. They fight. They talk. They make up. Remember when you said I deserved someone worth the effort?”

She waits for him to respond and he nods at her to continue. “Well you are worth the effort. We are going to fight Tim. This may be our first real fight but that doesn’t mean it needs to end with you leaving.”

Tim stares at her in shock and surprise . He has never had someone care for him as deeply as Lucy did. He had never felt as wanted as he did with Lucy.

You are worth the effort

He smiles at her for the first time since he got to her apartment. “Why didn’t you just tell me about Prim? We could have figured it out together.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I thought I could figure it out for myself. ”

“I took the desk job because I knew what you were giving up. But I should have talked to you before going to Grey.”

She nods and moves closer to him. “I appreciate what you did Tim. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Prim.”

He nods and steps closer so they were almost chest to chest. “So this is what a mature conversation looks like.”

“Yep.”

“I kind of like it.” He says and he bends down to kiss her. She sighs happily and he grins.

“I still don’t like fighting though.” Lucy says. “If we just talk first..”

“We won’t have to fight.” He finishes for her. “I agree. But…” He pulls her closer to him so they were actually touching. “After we fight we get to make up.”

“Hmmm.” She mutters. She looks up at him and her eyes are twinkling.

“Do you want to make up right now?”

He nods and kisses her again this time a little harder.

“Absolutely.”

#Chenford #chenford fanfic #The Rookie #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #anon answered #i love them #chenford fic

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sailorsplatoon · 3 months

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does acht still DJ on the surface? i like to think acht has usurped a room of fours apartment and moved all of their DJ stuff into there. four maybe plays a traditional instrument like guitar and provides samples which acht proceeds to turn into the most fucked up music ever </3

Yes!!! Four plays bass guitar (this applies to literally every Agent 4 oc I have ever made) and Acht will often sample what they play and incorporate it in their music in the most ungodly way possible. Four absolutely loves it.

Despite being forced to make music in the Deepsea Metro, Acht still loves it no matter what. Continuing to make the music they love is kind of like their final “f-you” to Tartar. They enjoy making music so much more now that they’ve escaped the metro because they can actually feel joy from what they’ve created. Four encourages it as much as possible and will always support their partner’s hobbies.

Before meeting Acht, Four was actually a fan of their music. It’s a dream come true for them to be able to help them make the music they would listen to so often.

I absolutely love the idea of Acht taking over a room in Four’s apartment solely for their DJing equipment!!! I’m going to run with that idea for a little bit or you don’t mind:

Four has to be careful where they step because of the wires everywhere. They’ve tripped over a few more than once.

Trying to relocate all of Acht’s equipment took an entire day because of how far underground the Deepsea Metro is, plus a solid hour of trying to get it into the elevator of Four’s apartment building. Then an additional hour of giving up and trying to drag it up the stairs.

Acht didn’t start out with the entire room for just their equipment, they initially had just one corner. As they bought more to make more advanced music, they gradually spread their equipment through the whole room.

Acht has a habit of staying up late making new music. They’ve unintentionally made 20 minute long songs before because they get so into it. Four will often stay up with them binging a TV show or playing video games. If they weren’t awake, Acht would end up waking them just to ask them to play a riff on the bass guitar. They don’t mind at all and are more of a night owl anyway.

Even though Four listens to Acht making their music, they still get excited when a new song, EP, or album releases. Acht made a remix of #14 crush just for them, but kept it a secret, only mixing it when they weren’t home, so that it would be a surprise. They even managed to sample some of Four’s bass playing for the remix without them figuring it out. It came out on Valentine’s Day. It pays to have an oblivious partner. (I’m thinking of this video in particular.)

Your ask came at the perfect time, I could feel the writer’s block setting in and you’ve given me motivation! Thank you!!!

#side order #side order spoilers #acht splatoon #ahato mizuta #dedf1sh #agent 4 #agent 4 side order #Dedfour #Acht x Agent 4 #asks #ask box

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be-gay-do-several-crimes · 1 month

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please tell me about splatoon i love hearing about peoples hyperfixations

HELL YEAH 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 tw autism

so basically splatoon is a nintendo franchise comprised of three games, the first is for the wii u and the second and third are for the switch. i havent played the first game be ause they shut the fucking online servers off for the wii u and 3 ds before i could get my hands on the damn thing

you play as an anthropomorphic humanoid squid (called inklings) who has the ability to transform back into a squid. and in 2 and 3 you can play as an octopus too (called octolings) and you use funky weapons to put paint everywhere (its called ink but its always super colourful and bright and noticeably thicker than ink so it looks like paint)

the main battle mode is called turf wars and you gotta ink as much of the ground as possible, there are 4 people per team and there are 2 teams. theres a ranked and a league battle mode too (just called anarchy battles in splatoon 3) and then there is grizzco where you gotta defeat a bunch of npc enemies for minimum wage by direction of a wooden bear figure

NOW I GET TO TALK ABOUT THE AGENTS HELL FUCKING YEAH agent 1 and 2 are the famed idols of splatoon1, callie and marie, and agent 3 is the protagonist of splatoon 1 story mode. agent 4 is protagonist splatoon 2, and in this one callies been taken and you gotta get her back. and then NEW agent 3 is splatoon 3's, where grizzco is the enemy now long fucking story. but og agent three is now the captain of the whole shebang

ohohohohoo okay octo expansion time this is splatoon 2's paid game mode you gotta pay like 25 bucks but its fucking WORTH IT the main character is named agent 8 because of the original captain's naming habits. this agent is an octopus fuck yeah. you are trapped in an underground subway with no memories and you gotta collect these things that are literally blender parts and then you almost get blended but then agent 3 (before they become the captain) BUSTS THROUGH THE FUCKING ROOF and destroys the damn blender and now you gotta escape the metro and there are literally 2 final boss fights. fight 1 is you gotta fight a mind controlled agent 3. fight 2 you gotta ink a statue. fucked up man. then you beat the octo expansion hooray

ok and now there is SIDE ORDER and agent 8 is the protagonist AGAIN and you have lost your memories AGAIN and pearl and marina (the two idols from splat 2) are your guides A-fuckin-GAIN but this time youre trapped in a world marina made that went fucking evil or something. whatever not her fault. i havent beat side order yet so i cant tell you a whole lot about it but its also great. i always choose the male agent 8 but you can make him a girl and girl 8 is generally the more popular one

#asks :D #galacticsoup25

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yuurei20 · 1 year

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Azul Info Compilation part 4: Book 3 (pt 1)

Book 3 begins with Azul confronting someone who had reneged on their contract with the aid of Jade and Floyd.

We learn that Deuce, Ace and Grim also contracted with Azul, promising him “absolute obedience” until they graduate if they failed to rank as one of the school’s fifty highest achievers after using Azul’s study guide.

Azul introduces himself as “the housewarden of Octavinelle Dorm, the manager of the Metro Lounge cafe and, as of today, the man who will be your master”, but this line was changed on NA to “as of today, you have to listen to everything I say”.

It is revealed that Azul provided study guides to so many students that is was impossible for most to rank as highly as they needed in order to fulfill their end of the contract.

Ace argues that he’d never told them about the other students, and Azul points out, “that’s all privileged data. Who am I to divulge someone’s personal information to a third party?”, as explained in the very contract that they signed.

Grim and the other students lose the magic that they put up as collateral for the study guides, which now belong to Azul. The students become violent, but are instantly subdued by Floyd, Jade and the many kinds of magic that Azul now has at his disposal.

Azul explains that “an official contract is completely unbreakable. No magic can harm this document in any way.”

Crowley says that Azul is untouchable, as “there was no illegitimate activity involved”. The study guides were “crafted exhaustively by hand, after researching the past century’s worth of Night Raven College exam question and their patterns”.

Crowley says he “can hardly prohibit a student from crafting an exam study guide via honest work. Nor can I prohibit a student from ‘kindly’ sharing their notes with friends.”

We learn that there was a similar incident in Azul’s first year at NRC, but “the commotion was much more contained” as “his study guides didn’t have quite the reputation they carry this year”.

Jack asks if there are students who haven’t had the magic they lost returned from last year, and Crowley says Azul “returned the powers he took from students last year as part of an arrangement he made with me”, which is how Azul got permission to run the Mostro Lounge at NRC.

Crowley then proceeds to blackmail the player into “persuading” Azul to “cease this little game of his”.

We see Azul excelling at a variety of subjects including music, animal linguistics and potion-making.

The player puts Ramshackle Dorm up as collateral in a deal with Azul to release all 225 students he has enslaved if they are able to steal a commemorative photograph from a museum in the Coral Sea, equipping them with a portion that enables them to breathe underwater to do so.

(In the original game the prince’s name is, consistently, リエーレ, but it seems like NA hasn’t decided how they want to spell it in romaji yet.)

(The pronunciation is ree-EH-ray. The Rielé spelling is possibly closer to the pronunciation than Rielle?)

#twstAzul #AzulFacts #TwstFacts #azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland

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garlic-but-gay · 2 years

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Hotline miami is so cool to me from a literary and lore-based perspective because of how many different ways and levels on which you can interpret occurrences in the game. Is richard an angel of death through the series or something more innate to the human psyche? Were manny's levels even fucking real or were they all fantasies? If they were real, did he do them out of a sick sense of justice or was he targeting ongoing problems that were overshadowing his serial killings in hopes to bring his murderous persona more of the spotlight? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AT THE PHONE COMPANY BUILDING????? AND OH MY GOD THE PRISON RIOT LEVEL! Are the janitors organizing the riot? Is it to kill him off? Some other goal? Are they symbolic of the devs freeing richter from the violent life he's been forced into provided that he completes one final trial? If so, is that a parallel of the hanchman's "one last job" from earlier in the game? Is the level supposed to bring forth a depiction of animalistic amorality in richter slaying all in his path, both cop and crook, or is it him determinedly doing whatever he needs to do to escape before ultimately meeting his doom in *another* parallel to the henchman but with him being happy due to his actions being out of his own free will rather than the orders of another? I could ask so much more about richter ALONE but also is the New Russian Drug made of the same plant found all over hawaii during the russo-american war because they sure do have similar colors. If it *is* then does that make the hawaiian conflict and the russo-colombian drug wars another set of literary parallels? I absolutely *know* that the bodies being dissolved in acid in the sewer was there literarily to show the fans being in over their heads with their action hero fantasies they're trying to live out as opposed to the really fucked up and *real* violence that lies under their very feet but i am going to make an entire reblog to this about my theories regarding them and possible connections to an event in the first game and what those might mean. WHAT HAPPENED AT THE PHONE COMPANY AND WHY DID THE SON HAVE A FIRE AXE IN APOCALYPSE WHEN HE HAS A GUN IN DEATH WISH?!?!?!?! Was martin brown actually a fucked up person or was he just a method actor whose character was invading his psyche? Does tony actually have the same mask that jacket wore or is it from the guy that was tied to a chair in the booby-trapped room? If it isnt jacket's, is that a way to show how tony (like the rest of the fans) is merely following an idea he created in his head of who jacket was and why he did what he did instead of actually understanding him? WHICH APRIL 3RD DID RICHARD MEAN WHEN HE SAID THAT'S WHEN JACKET AND HIM MET? THE METRO? THE BOMBING OF SAN FRANCISCO? Is the use of the pig mask for martin, the first character you play as, meant to subtly show the shift in level design philosophy from the first game through its effect (more guns) therein? Is the whole "enemies frequently shoot you from offscreen" thing symbolic of how the odds are stacked against every character, foreshadowing of the ending, a spiteful jab at sequels, or a further extension of the theme of reality vs fantasy? If youre an english major or like literature, please please please play this series holy FUCK

#hotline miami #hotline miami 2

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true-blue-megamind · 1 year

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MEGAMIND FAN THEORY: Where Did the Doom Syndicate Come From?

What better way to start the new year than with a new Megamind Fan Theory? Yes, I am finally back! And, yes, once again it is not on Thursday but, you know, at least it exists. So there’s that. We’ve all waited long enough so let’s jump straight in. Even though Megamind threatens to clone my most annoying in-laws and send them ALL to my house whenever I say it: SPOILER WARNING!

If you’re part of the Megamind fandom—and since you’re reading this I assume that’s fairly likely—you’ve probably already heard about the Doom Syndicate. After all, although these characters never appeared in the original movie, they can be seen in some of the earlier storyboards and several make appearances in the video games, not to mention populating a great many fanfictions. However, for those few who may be currently scratching their heads and wondering what in the world I’m babbling about, here’s a brief explanation:

The Doom Syndicate is a small affiliation of supervillains, each of whom possesses some sort of special ability. (Hot Flash has fire-based powers, The Conductor controls electricity, Psycho-Delic releases poisonous or mind-altering smokes, etc.) Despite these unusual talents, however, as far as we know all the members of the Doom Syndicate are more-or-less human. This notably differentiates them from Megamind, Metroman, and even Minion, all of whom have extraterrestrial origins.

That’s not really surprising. As the film Megamind was, in part, a spoof on existing superhero franchises, it seems that Metro City’s own Bad Guys’ Club was modeled after evil organizations appearing in comic books, such as DC’s Legion of Doom. (Even the Doom Syndicate’s name, as you can see, is lampooning their counterparts.) Why does that matter? Because many—although not all—members of these fictional villainous cabals are humans who gained extraordinary abilities through bio-engineering experiments, bizarre accidents, advanced technology, or even magic. (According to Comic Vine, Lex Luthor, Cheetah, Riddler, Scarecrow, Black Adam, Poison Ivy, and Bane are all examples.) As the Doom Syndicate was likely intended to be a somewhat less-serious caricature of this, it seems probable that they, too, began life as normal earthlings.

That brings up one important question: if members of the Doom Syndicate were originally ordinary humans, how did they come by their powers? There are two fan theories concerning this. The first is that, similar to the DC and Marvel universes, Megamind’s world boasts a wide variety of superheroes and supervillains. (I’ll be discussing that concept further in another post.) The second, however, is significantly darker.

To understand it, however, we must first examine a related fan theory. If you’ve read the previous blog article entitled The Warden, you know that many believe Megamind and Metroman may have been purposefully pushed into their respective roles of hero and villain from childhood. There is actually some very compelling evidence to support this in the film. Details from the brief school scene, such as the Warden himself appearing in a child’s drawing of a school bus, support the idea of these two aliens being essentially raised to their roles. Furthermore, Metroman’s own actions also offer a likely explanation for why. It’s obvious that, as a boy, he was something of a bully—he constantly picks on and even hurts the other young alien—but it’s just as clear that he loved praise. Fans believe that concerned adults around them knowingly drove Metroman toward heroism to prevent him from becoming a danger to society and similarly pushed Megamind into becoming his nemesis because the former-villain was more likely to survive the ordeal and because, quite frankly, few people cared what happened to him. That may sound horrible—indeed it is—but when compared with the possibility of having an overgrown superpowered bully wreaking havoc on the city, it’s not hard to see why influential people may have felt it to be the lesser evil. (Imagine if Titan had no Megamind to stop him.) Again, feel free to read The Warden for more about that.

That bring us to the specific Megamind fan theory in question. Many fans have taken that idea a step further, suggesting that the Doom Syndicate was created to keep Metroman busy whenever his main antagonist was behind bars. While this idea may seem odd at first, if we accept that Megamind and Metroman were pressured into assuming specific positions, as seems at least possible, then it becomes a logical hypothesis. People may have feared that their “hero,” if left with too much idle time on his hands, could fall back into his old brutish ways.

The idea is not without merit. As discussed in another Megamind Fan Theory post, Does Metroman Know He’s Alien, the city’s original hero differs in some ways from his obvious DC Comics counterpart: Superman. Clark Kent, the famed Man of Steel, had the benefit of being raised in a loving, hardworking farm family, complete with down-home virtues, but Wayne Smith, who later became Metroman, did not. Instead, the previous Defender of Metrocity seems to have spent his childhood as the entitled only son of an ultra-wealthy couple. This means that, while Clark Kent’s upbringing helped him to become genuinely good, Wayne Smith’s likely predisposed him to a certain amount of shallowness and arrogance. This is important because it indicates that the latter’s incentives for heroism were probably not selfless dedication to the good of those around him. So what did drive him? The aforementioned school scene strongly suggests that it was a love of popularity and public adulation. Indeed, this seems to be the case. Consider Metroman’s vaunting behavior at the opening of his museum along with his career change to wannabe rock star. Both display a notable desire for adoration and attention. Therefore it seems probable that that same desire was the driving force behind Wayne’s becoming a superhero and, as mentioned before, the school scene supports this.

So, once more, assuming that this predisposition was leveraged to push Metroman into heroism for the safety of society, it seems only logical that there might be some concern about what he might do during the brief periods when Megamind was not an active threat. After all, if the only thing making his role as Defender worthwhile was the local citizenry’s praise, then it would be necessary to keep that praise coming lest he become disenchanted. In order to do that, he would need to constantly be saving people or battling evil. That would, presumably, leave the city leaders with two choices: orchestrate situations that put their own voters in danger or provide other villains to fight whenever Megamind was behind bars.

This is one major reason why the fan theory has developed that the Doom Syndicate may have been created on purpose, but it’s not the only one. Another consideration is the simple fact that people willing to allow a baby to be raised in prison, under the care of dangerous convicts, would likely have few qualms about turning a few of those they viewed as “undesirables” into supervillains. That, in turn, brings us to a third potential reason. Near the beginning of the film, when the Warden visits Megamind’s jail cell, we can see that a guard is sitting at a bank of monitors displaying what appears to be brain scans and other invasive information about the blue man. In other words, it seems that, while incarcerated, Megamind may have been the subject of experiments. The question is: was he the only one? Is it possible that other inmates were subjected to different scientific procedures intended to give them superpowers and thus make them viable distractions for Metroman? Some fans say yes.

If this is the case, then it rather backfired. In some of the unused storyboards for the movie, we can see the Doom Syndicate deferring to Megamind, practically asking his permission to go on a crime spree after Metroman’s apparent demise, and it appears they may have even wanted him to be their leader. Given the film’s connections to existing comics, the idea is not that far fetched. Much like the Joker in Gotham, it seems that Megamind held a certain amount of sway over the other villains in Metro City. Like DC’s famous evil clown, he didn’t exactly rule the others—they didn’t actually work for him—but in the local supervillain hierarchy he was definitely the proverbial “top dog.” So, rather than creating several individual enemies for their hero to face, the powers of Metro City may have inadvertently created a dark organization. Alone any member of the Doom Syndicate would have been easy for Metroman to defeat; as a group, they could have been considerably more dangerous.

Is there any truth in this supposition? It’s hard to say for certain, but perhaps the upcoming series Megamind’s Guide to Defending Your City may offer some clarification. It will be interesting to find out. At any rate, having once been the Bad Guy other Bad Guys feared is likely going to give the Blue Defender some distinct advantages in dealing with the Doom Syndicate. He probably knows their methods and weaknesses already, and it’s possible they may be less-than-eager to face off with the former Master of All Villainy. I suppose we’ll find out in due time. In the meanwhile, that’s it for this latest Megamind Fan Theory! I hope you enjoyed it!

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sick-ada · 6 months

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CICADA AGENTS MASTERPOST

bc i keep forgetting that i havent actually put much abt my agents on my tumblr and i need to expose the max number of people to my blorbos as i can

going under the readmore cause this is gonna get longg

(this has been in my drafts for over a month)

CB-808 (agent 8, she/her) and Bubbles (agent 8 AGAIN, a SECOND TIME, CAN YOU TELL EIGHT IS MY FAV, he/him)

they're "twins", meaning they both woke up without any memories, saw that they were the only two nearby who looked similar (being the only non-sanitized octolings in the metro) and assumed that meant they were twins

they do all of the tests in octo expansion as a duo! this makes some tests easier (like girl power station) and others much harder (like the one with the dualie squelchers and the grindrails, since they have to share the weapon between them)

this kinda fucks with the computer systems and all their mem cakes are blended (lmao) together. they have to work together to figure out whose memories are whose, to varying success levels

very very very codependent. theyll get anxious if you take the other to another room where they cant see each other. proto (cap3) convinced them to do one test separately and CB got so worked up she punched the side of the carriage and permanently dented it

they didnt try a second time

ON THE TOPIC OF CB DENTING THE METAL: shes freakishly strong, in an artificially-modified way rather than a very-strong-but-normal way

after the splatoon 1 campaign, elite soldiers deserted en masse since nearly all of them were at the concert/final-battle, leaving a gaping hole in the octarian military. in an attempt to fill that gap as quickly as possible, volunteers were "purposed" to become enhanced super-soldiers

(ill probably make a dedicated post abt it when i remember but "purposing" is what they do to make octarians (the stubby tentacle guys) into all the different forms you see in-game. debateably ethical to begin with, SUPER unethical to do to actual octolings)

im bad at timelining but she signs up to this when she's like,,, 13. still kinda blobby

functionally, what it did to her was make her freakishly strong (she breaks the handles on doors ridiculously often) and about 50% more resistance to enemy ink. girls a tank. however, she has trouble regulating her strength and therefore cant superjump accurately since she overshoots her target every time

it's also super painful. she permanently lost her voice from screaming too much and cant speak any louder than a whisper, but she knows octarian and inklish sign languages so she gets along fine

her name is CB-808 bc that was the serial number printed on a livestock tag in her ear

BUBBLES ON THE OTHER HAND. not physically fucked up. mentally though................

his parents were some of the elites who deserted after hearing the Inkantation (in my headcanons it's something that can be resisted, but only temporarily). he wanted their approval more than anything so them leaving him was devastating

hes not actually a dude he just think he/him is a cool set of pronouns. heard someone say "him" once and absorbed it into his gender

he lied abt his age to become a scout/reconnaisance (how you spell that??), even if nobody was really gonna check given the situation after splat1

where CB is built like a tank, he's tall and lanky, and also scarily smart. combined with his lack of filter he'll literally just stare at you for 5 seconds before saying some shit like "oh i see. youre scared of us because of our competence and your perception of our alleigances compared to urs"

captain 3 is scared by him more than CB. as they should be.

his name is Bubbles because he has circular markings on his upper arms and CB is not very good at coming up with names (shes an amnesiac teenager give her a break)

theyre both 15 during octo expansion, and 20 by splatoon3

after reaching the surface they move in with flora (4) and his roommate bola (oc) to form the Leftovers Squad, an inksports team and maybe-gang

these two are wonderfully terrible influences and teach the two of them how to defy authority n shit, it's great, ill talk abt it more in their specific sections

CB mains the dynamo but plays it like a splat roller because she's so strong she can swing it with about that speed. Bubbles mains the e-liter and has nutty aim. the kind of duo that makes people realize theyre ex-soldiers

both of them are too obedient to authority, leftover habits from the military even if they don't fully remember their time there. CB is much worse in this regard, since she was more heavily conditioned to follow orders and Bubbles is observant enough to realize when theyre being taken advantage of

FLORA (agent 4, he/she used interchangeably)

part of the Leftovers Squad! a young punk squid that revels in rebellion and violence and showing people what's what

almost entirely deaf. he had pretty bad hearing to begin with, but loud raves without ear protection worsened it significantly. his hero headset functions as hearing aids but he doesnt usually wear them unless he's on NSS missions or patrols or w/e

came to inkopolis when she was 14, but it wasnt intentional. her parents were the kind of awful perfectionists that expected their children to be equally as perfect, so decided to leave flora in inkopolis bc she did awful in school

he was taken under Bola's fin (get it it's a fish pun theyre fish im hilarious) and became enamoured with the adrenaline-fueled, bloody-mouthed rush of fighting, in and out of inksports

the best way i can describe her is "violent for the sake of violence and gleeful about it". she starts a fight with someone twice her size just for the fun of attacking and taking a beating. probably something wrong with her. i love her with every fibre of my being

has absolutely zero respect or trust in authority -- especially adults, which includes Marie since she's 19 in splat2 and he's only 16

still goes along with her whole "hey go save the zapfish" spiel because A) she cant actually hear what marie is saying B) marie gave her some free fancy hearing aids so she GUESSES she has to return the favour somehow C) she wants to fight some octarian soldiers D) she wants to steal her own zapfish (she succeeds, it gets a tank in Leftover Squad's living room) and E) she thinks itll be REALLY funny to fuck with marie

shes right btw. its hilarious

she only follows orders when it's funnier than disobeying them. she puts zapfishes back in levels she wants to complete a second time. she teaches octolings how to play poker (and how to cheat at poker). she lets a squee-g splat her "to see what it feels like"

if callie wasn't missing marie would NOT put up with his bullshit, but alas.

respects agent 3 even less than marie, when they meet, since at least marie has a sense of humour

he's the one who suggests that CB and Bubbles move in with him and Bola after Octo Expansion. less out of his own goodwill and more out of a combination of morbid curiousity and a sense of "bola has a habit of taking weird inkfish under their fin, walking in with two soldiers will be really funny"

gets hypnoshaded 5 years post-splat2 (during the splat3 campaign) and has to be rescued by the leftover Leftovers (lmao) and Off the Hook. octavio doesnt really convince her to put them on, theres no realistic way he could do that, so he physically overpowers her and puts the shades on

he gets rescued tho! so it's all good and absolutely no interpersonal issues come from it i swear (lying)

Bola (they/them, not an agent)

another member of Leftovers Squad and, arguably, its leader

is about as comfortable with violence as flora (read: very comfortable) but, unlike him, doesn't enjoy it for its own sake. when they do a violence, it's for a specific aim and a purpose, even if that purpose seems inane or petty

theyre the leader of the leftovers mostly because theyre the only one with a goal or any sort of purpose. also because theyre by far the most charismatic of the bunch but mostly bc theyre the only one with any direction in life. the other three are happy to just help with that

(calling it a purpose is doing it too much justice, it's a grudge. a massive fucking grudge against Squidforce as a brand and an institution and a company. they want that thing obliterated)

when they first came to inkopolis (they were like 12), they werent a citizen of inkadia so they had no ID and weren't allowed to do official Squidforce battles, so they went to unofficial/illegal/unregulated turf wars to make some cash

this got shut down by squidforce

they decided "no. fuck this. fuck you, im gonna fuck every single one of you over, die." and swore vengeance about as dramatically as a then-13 year old could. luckily, bola was a very dramatic, kinda blobby 13 year old

they met flora when he came to inkopolis and introduced him to the concept of You Can Just Fight These People If You Don't Like Them

would have agreed to housing CB and Bubbles if Flora had just asked but this is fine they guess

theyll be the last to admit they have a compassionate streak, but they have a soft spot for the underbelly of inkopolis and everyone who lives there, most of which are underrepresented or downtrodden by the system that squidforce upholds

theyre an octoling but not an octarian (citizen of octaria, the nation that lost the great turf war and now lives in the domes) like CB and Bubbles are

instead, theyre a weird subspecies of octoling that went back in the water while the "normal" species of inkfish stayed on the surface. they still have most of the same features as an inkfish, like the shapeshifting, but have more aquatic adaptations like gills and razor sharp teeth and being able to swim in water unharmed (ik inkfish dying in water is only dubiously canon but for my headcanons normal inkfish dissolve like ingame if they fall into water)

they also have sepiism! better described in this post this means their ink/tentacle colours are limited to blacks and browns. their subspecies is more prone to this colour mutation than other inkfish since black is a pretty good camoflague colour if youre in the deep ocean. idk i wanted an excuse to make them look cool dont think abt it too hard

they absolutely despise proto (captain 3). aint no world where theyd trust the militaristic authority figure that orders around the two ex-soldiers theyre trying to teach how to be independent

not to mention the grudge they form against the captain after the hypnoshading incident that i will elaborate on i PROMISE its in the next section

aFTER I TALK ABOUT THE LEFTOVERS SQUAD AS A WHOLE. IF I CANT ESCAPE THEM NEITHER CAN YOU

when they meet, post octo expansion, the twins are 15 and the punks are 16, so theyre 20 and 21 respectively by the time splat3 rolls around

flora gets squidnapped just after splat3 campaign (which lasts like a day for reasons that will be evident once i get to neo 3 and "little" buddy), so proto and the squid sisters are in alterna monitoring the situation and doing cleanup while it happens. this will be relevant later. foreshadowing is a technique where--

a couple months after the twins move in, CB discovers inksports and makes the biggest saddest puppy dog eyes at the rest of the squad until they agree to making a league team together. it's also called the leftovers

CB and Flora love it because they enjoy physically fighting people (CB likes that she doesnt have to be permanently hurting people during it, Flora would like it better if there was a lil permanent injury tbh). Bubbles enjoys it because his sister enjoys it and also because he enjoys using his big brain to do sick predicts and snipe people from across the map where he's nice and safe. Bola only joins at first because telling the ex-soldier, who theyve been trying to convince that you dont need peoples permission to do things, "no" would be counterproductive. they hate every moment they have to fight in a squidforce battle. but then once the team gets well-known they realise that squidforce cant get rid of them anymore and uses their platform to absolutely troll the shit out of squidforce

like when they go on interviews and stuff they constantly mention how shitty squidforce is and "yeah i personally prefer [smaller organisation]'s inksports, they have way better maps and modes, squidforce just has a monopoly so..." and squidforce cant do shit bc theyre the charismatic face of this popular new team and itd be bad publicity

CB and Bubbles dont have real IDs cause theyre amnesiac teenagers who made up their own names. flora and bola get them fake IDs that claim CB stands for Courtney Blitz, making bubbles into Bubbles Blitz

CB often gets called Clam Blitz. CB does NOT appreciate this. Bubbles thinks it's hilarious and only answers people who call him "Blam Blitz" for like a week

Bubbles mains the E-liter but likes lots of different anchors, CB exclusively plays her "splat roller" (a dynamo swung really fast), Flora learnt how to play every weapon from the splat2 campaign and can play basically anything (but usually goes for something close-range so his bloodlust gets put to good use. heavy weapons tend to turn into bludgeons in his hands) i dont know what bola would use tbh. i wanna say a splatana but this is set mainly in splat2 so they wouldnt have those. if anyone is still reading this far pls make suggestions in the notes 👍

CB and Bubbles dont have any sense of money (in my hcs, the domes work more on a communal property + bartering system) so they have no reason to object to pearl giving them inordinate amounts of money. bola and flora have to have a conversation where they ask whether pearl is their sugar daddy. this is agonising for everyone involved.

they used the money to buy an unreasonably large bed that they all sleep on together bc theyre my ocs i make the rules

i promised it was proto next. here *throws them like a javelin through the screen

Proto (captain 3, they/them)

i shld probably start at the beginning for them bc their actions through all the games are the catalyst for a Lot of plot

they were raised in calamari county, their parents were friends with callie and maries parents so they hung out a bunch when they were kids. basically the third squid sister, though they get way too bad stage fright to become idols like the other two

hanging out with those two so much also meant a lot of exposure to cap'n cuttlefish. proto idolised him to no end, decided they wanted to be just like him when they grew up

when the squisters went to inkopolis to become idols, proto became their manager. they were also recruited alongside callie and marie into the NSS when craig decided to reform it. ive never actually watched a playthrough of splat1 so i dont actually know how the plot works other than "craig is there and then callie & marie are there" so the next part is probably gonna be more canon parallel than canon adjacent

also because im just making up random shit about splat1. thats probably also a factor

in this version of canon, the octarians dont steal every zapfish you grab at the end of the levels, only the ones used for the boss levels. all the rest are ones owned by the octarians, mostly bred in captivity cause where tf else are you gonna get the power for running the domes

proto isnt an active agent in splat1, it's callie and marie who go in and do the fighting while proto is the one coordinating them and making plans. their plan is to steal all these extra zapfish to strain the domes' resources and then perform the inkantation during the final confrontation to make the maximum number of soldiers (especially elites) desert, all so they become incapable of stealing more zapfish or launching a retaliatory strike

and cap'n cuttlefish approves so surely that means that this is a good plan and any suffering caused is a necessary evil and it's not like this paranoid old man has any biases or grudges that would impede his judgement. surely not

side note: instead of inner agent 3, CB and Bubbles have to fight inner agents 1 & 2. inner-callie targets CB and inner-marie targets Bubbles because i think the roller-charger parallel is cool

the plan works! elites and soldiers desert in droves, neutering the octarian military capability, and octaria has to focus what resources it has on not starving (which it barely achieves, theres a famine regardless) rather than attacking back. it also creates the conditions for bubbles' parents to leave him and for CB to undergo the extremely painful and inhumane procedures to become an enhanced supersoldier but proto doesnt learn this til octo expansion

the squid sister stories proceed basically like canon, but proto dedicates themselves to agent work while marie focuses on the radio and callie focuses on acting. theyre out investigating the metro with craig when callie gets squidnapped so they dont find out until octo expansion finishes (like a few weeks after she gets rescued)

SPEAKING OF OCTO EXPANSION. PROTO IS THERE THE WHOLE TIME

they dont fight CB and Bubbles, theyre a terrible fighter and a bit of a wimp (and those two are kinda terrifying), instead they watch when they get overpowered and captured by a squad of sanitized octolings (those two got sent to investigate since people kept vanishing when they went that way). they still get the same "youre down here because of me" guilt since they chose to watch rather than intervene

they later got into the metro proper and found those same people but like super amnesia'd and a little traumatised already, even if theyre not sure how much of that was already there, and then they get even MORE fucked up because the metro is fucking Like That

also guilt bc they dont actually help with the tests beyond advice thru the comms. can never have too much of that

they get CB and Bubbles out of the blender by removing their special limiter and spamming splashdown on the top til it breaks, getting exhausted and passing out afterwards, letting tartar control them

the hole in the ceiling gets made by CB throwing a bit of broken blender really hard

usually they would get their ass kicked by either CB or Bubbles, let alone both at once, but the two of them are so exhausted and fucked up and a little injured that the fight is closer than anyone would like. the fight ends when CB grabs them by the ankle and slams them into the floor. think that one scene from the avengers with the hulk and loki

unfortunately, since CB is way too scared and full of adrenaline to properly regulate her strength, she completely crushes their ankle and lower leg. since it doesnt splat them, they dont respawn, and everyone is too preoccupied with destroying the NILs statue to get them to a hospital, the leg wasnt salvageable and they had to get it amputated below the knee

theyre an ambulatory wheelchair user, after that. sometimes crutches instead, but they tend to go for the chair in alterna bc crutches and ice do NOT mix trust me on this. i only had crutches for a couple months but i fell on my ass SO much

anyway they reconnect with callie and marie and things are fine and good and theyre totally not avoiding the twins because marina kept updating them on relevant files she found during OE and theyre struggling to reconcile the idea that these are enemies with the undeniable truth that nobody has had a greater negative impact on their lives than them.

probably would be worse if marina told them the twins were 15. good thing she doesnt!

oh yeah i forgot ages. proto is 17 in splat1, 19 in splat2/OE and 24 by splat3

anyway yeah in their efforts to avoid the twins so that they dont have to think about the wide-reaching consequences of their past actions, they dont actually leave them with any way to contact them while they go check out the Crater. itll only be a quick mission, right? no need to worry about it

alterna happens

then they and the squid sisters come back to cuttlefish cabin to find it completely empty, then discover that flora is still in the hospital after having the shit kicked out of him because he was hypnoshaded and they didnt have any low-tide ink because marie wasnt there and they couldnt contact her and they tried and they tried and why didnt anyone answer and

theres a big cool dramatic confrontation where CB and Bubbles reveal they got all their mem cakes and know exactly who proto is and what they did and would have forgiven if they had been honest but now they cant trust their captain and formally quit the NSS

honestly theres more stuff for proto after this but i ahvent actually figured it out yet.

personality-wise, theyre overconfident in their own abilities and underconfident in the abilities of everyone else, they struggle to give control of anything over to someone else. because why would they allow someone else to be in charge when they know that their own plans are automatically so much better?

as they learn about the actual consequences of their splat1 plan via CB and Bubbles' descriptions of their mem cakes, this confidence falters a bit. they spent so long with that plan being one of their greatest achievements that they cant reconcile with the reality that it had devastating consequences for innocent people

this is not at all helped by Flora, who makes no secret of his opinion on proto. at first he's just fucking with them for the sake of fucking with them, the same way he does for marie, but it gets more antagonistic when proto reacts with genuine anger rather than the good humour marie does. flora absolutely does not take kindly to people trying to exert authority over her so she aims to piss off proto at every opportunity

it is very easy for flora to piss proto off

OKAY I HIT THE CHARACTER LIMIT ILL MAKE A SECOND POST FOR THE REST

#splatoon oc #splatoon #cicada screaming #oc: bubbles #oc: proto #oc: cb 808 #oc: flora #oc: bola #long post

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cyberpilate · 8 months

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True Stories from Comics Retail!

The year is... somewhere in the 2010s, I'm guessing. The place? Metro Entertainment, Santa Barbara's No. #1 Comics and Games store and here I am, working the register.

Now, please understand: the one thing I love more than anything in the world is recommending comics to people and, f I can allow myself a little sliver of pride, I think I'm pretty good at it. No complaints, yanno? There is literally nothing like showing a new fan or a new reader a comic book they never considered before and then BOOM - next week they're in for another one! I've made lifelong friends this way and it really warms up the soul.

So when this gorgeous woman, elegantly dressed and erudite, comes in and tells me that she just finished a class at UC Santa Barbara on comics and wanted to read more, I nearly vaulted over the counter to get her to our trade paperback shelves. She tells me she's read Sandman and my mind starts whirring with possibilities. We're looking for something with a high art quality, storytelling and myth, something dark and dreamy perhaps. I show her The Wicked + The Divine by Jamie McKelvie and Kieron Gillian and she shakes her head and says:

"No, I only read books by gay men."

This floors me. Wow! What a specific request! For the 2010s, mind you; it's not like I knew the personal love life of comic book authors at this time. Wracking my brain, I start to take her towards autobiographical comics, the only place I know where writers and artists had "come out of the closet", so to speak and she again says no.

"Books like Sandman!," she reinforces. So now I've practically blue screened thinking about who is a gay man in comics that writes dark fantasy?? I can't let her go with out a recommendation! She's so fancy! And she took a really rad course at UCSB and she wants to read them I can't gatekeep this young woman because *I* don't know enough about comics to know which gay men write dark fantasy-

-WAIT. Phil Jimenez! He was gay! And he was highly influential on Wonder Woman! (I just checked and no, the Omnibus hadn't come out by that time...) I think I have it!! Glowing with relief and pride, I take her over to the DC books and start explaining the mythological connections in Wonder Woman...

She interrupts me again. "No, books by <i>gay men</i>," she emphasizes.

That kinda puts me on the spot so I start to explain, "Well, Phil Jimenez is-"

"Like Sandman and the Graveyard Book, that author."

It hits me like a ton of bricks.

(Shout out to everyone who figured this out during the story - I am impressed by how incredibly smarter you are than like, 30 year old me)

"NEIL GUY-MAN," I say, totally pronouncing the man's name wrong to try and explain where I went wrong in this whole conversation. She does not agree with my pronunciation but I take her over to Murder Mysteries (when it was still in stock at Diamond, one of my most favorite short stories ever), the Sandman TPs, anything I can get my hands on. She does look them over, but doesn't want to buy anything and leaves me in my shame.

I guess I'm telling this story in hopes that Dark Horse puts Murder Mysteries back into print so I can sell the book to Good Omens fans and that maybe, just maybe, @neil-gaiman will forgive me for the butchering of his last name.

We can dream.

#murder mysteries #comic book shop #retail stories #neil gaiman #phil jimenez #wonder woman #the wicked + the divine

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ancel3 · 23 days

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Fun fact! Super Mario Odyssey and Breath of the Wild are ~20GB COMBINED.

20 gigabytes, for TWO incredible games, that both look beautiful and run great on the video game equivalent of a $500 pre-owned Camry.

Twenty fucking gigabytes. That's:

22.5% of DOOM Eternal (88.69GB)

25.7% of Metro Exodus (77.74GB)

27% of Death Stranding (74.31GB)

20% of Fallout 76 (95.95GB)

16.73% of Red Dead Redemption 2 (119.52GB)

35% of The Witcher 3 (57.23GB)

13 gigabytes less than Assassin's Creed: Black Flag (32.91GB)

7 times less than Borderlands 3. (138.85GB)

6 gigabytes less than Team Fortress 2, a game that came out in fucking 2007 and has received countless updates since then (26.21GB at time of writing)

I'm not one of those guys that preaches how Japan is better at everything, but like... Come on, guys. I have five fucking hard drives in my PC, and I'm struggling to make space for these games. Pokemon Violet - A game notorious for being so lazy and poorly optimized that it's embarrassing - takes up less space than Portal 2.

There's no reason for this. Literally just compress your files and give us options on what we want to download. Hell, Fallout 4 came out years ago, and it just got a 56GB patch out of nowhere. A fucking PATCH that's as big as The Witcher 3. It's the same game, but now it's 56GB heavier for people who can't or just don't want to render the new "next-gen" textures/models they're installing on our systems.

If game companies want to shift to digital media, then there should be a stronger focus on reducing file size and minimum specs as much as possible - instead, we're getting the opposite. We should be more upset about this.

#video games #gaming #pc games #pc #steam

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majormeilani · 1 month

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i shared this in discord but i'm putting it here too. since rin has definitely helped a lot of the characters in the game more than once and her hospital is in nyakuza metro, she has had empress as her patient more than once. given empress has all those scars and a crooked tail, possibly from being broken before.

anyway, after treating empress for an injury, rin would offer her what she offers all of her patients after treatment: a lollipop or sticker. empress would look at her options but turn her nose up at them both, stating them to be childish. but she low-key really wants one. but rin would say "i understand, sometimes deciding is the hardest part!" and she would give empress both. and empress would be stuck with the lollipop and sticker that she secretly actually wanted, but pretends she hates them. but rin won't take them back from her so empress leaves with her little treats.

but later, the sticker is seen on a briefcase in empress' office and a nyakuza cat sees the stick of a lollipop poking out the side of empress' mouth. and she even uses it for an extra bit of sass that day lol.

rin would hear about this from a nyakuza cat telling her secretly and laugh like "even the hardest of folks can't deny the allure of the simple sticker or lollipop...! 😊"

#rin the nurse cat #rin

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quinloki · 1 year

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A Light Touch

Fem Reader x Eustass Kid

CW: language, assault, violence, sexual themes and situations, implications of non-con, loss of limbs, blood. 18+ Only.

Chapter 1 - Table of Consent -

Chapter 19: The Crisis

Emma and Hip nearly squeezed the life out of you, one after the other, as you entered back into the house.

"You came back!" Emma cries, squishing you against her chest.

"You would not have looked good in pink." Hip says, hugging you and Emma at the same time.

"I don't think they have uniforms like that, Hip." Killer says, pulling the two ladies off you. "Let her breathe you two." He looks down at you for a moment before a smile crosses his face. "Welcome back (Y/N). Did he pull you clean out of the limo himself, or did he show restraint?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he had just tossed the limo." Wire adds flatly.

"Eh?" You looked up at Killer questioningly before turning to Kid. "Were you watching the whole time?"

"Don't listen to them, Mouse." Kid says, ruffling your hair enough it pushes your head down and turns your gaze away from his face. "Let's get her up to speed."

"Does that include telling her about the plans to raid Doflamingo's castle?" Heat asks with a crooked smile.

Kid's fist clenched so fast you could hear the metal crashing into itself. He growls, but it stops when you start laughing.

"Pfft- hahaha, I don't know why, but when you called it a castle I could only picture 'Sorry Kid, but your Mouse is in another castle'. Like that one old video game." You look up to see Eustass frowning, but despite his efforts to look angry his ears were red. "Sorry, sorry." Another errant laugh escapes you and you cover your face. "What am I being brought up to speed on?" You say, desperately trying to distract yourself before you collapse into giggle fits.

"We've found a way to find Decken." House says, coming over and hugging you as well. "We've had a way to find him, but the sporadic attacks only told us his location was changing. So we couldn't nail him down."

"Without Doflamingo harassing him, we can pin him down easier." Killer says.

You frown. "That asshole!" You growl. You were getting legitimately angry. "That fluffy pink bastard said not finding Decken was proof that Kid wasn't doing enough to protect me, and it was HIS FAULT YOU COULDN'T FIND HIM!"

You reached out as though you meant to strangle the air. "That cocky bastard!"

"... I think that's the first time I've seen you get angry." Kid says, his brows raised in amusement. "It's kind of adorable."

"I'm not adorable, I'm mad!" You insist, stomping your foot.

"Give 'er a break, cap'n," Emma says, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, it's as fierce as a mascot can get!" Hip adds and the entire crew breaks into laughter. You're pretty sure you can even hear Killer breaking from behind the hands over his mouth.

"You're all terrible." You grumble, not that anyone can hear you over all the laughing. After a moment you manage to smile as well and the whole room comes back under control.

By the end of the day, you had been brought up to speed with what had happened without you yesterday.

It had been determined before now that the direction the items from Decken traveled was as direct an arc as possible. The items would change course if you moved, but as long as you walked toward them, they wouldn't shift, they'd just arch downward faster.

If they hit something between their starting point and destination, they would cease to move. 'Something' being things more dense than air and water and less dense than wood, concrete, and metal. At least that was what they'd been able to sort out so far.

This meant that Decken was tossing these items as high up into the air as he could, so they cleared buildings and made their way to your location. There were some summits in the Metro he could be utilizing, but while he had been dodging Doflamingo it was unlikely he could be too picky.

There were also other assumptions that had to be made - how much velocity the items had or could gain. If strong winds could knock them off course temporarily or not, and other unknown limitations or empowerments granted by the Devil fruit ability itself.

Heat pointed to a few places on a map he'd brought out. "Since he'll realize he's not playing with Doflamingo anymore, he's most likely to take advantage of these elevated locations. Each one would send items into the house on different sections, so once he attacks again, we can head to the most likely location."

"It's not a guarantee," Kid says. "But it's not 4-dimensional chess anymore. It's just between us and him."

"He's going to do what everyone except Shanks has done since we got here," Killer says. "And underestimate us."

"Except Shanks... Hold on, are you telling me you guys waltzed into the Grandline Metro, became kings, and then hopped the fence past the Warlords and challenged an Emperor?!" You were completely dumbfounded as a couple crew members nodded their heads.

"Only cost us an arm and we learned a lot from it, Mouse."

You made a face. You're pretty sure your soul made a face.

"I'm surprised it took this long for The Crisis to hit you like that." Emma quips.

"The Crisis?"

"Everyone who joins the crew has The Crisis. Crisis is defined as 'a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger'." Wire explains. "The Crisis is that moment when you realize just exactly what it means to follow Eustass 'Captain' Kid."

"And yet none of you bastards have left after having your crisis." Kid points out and taps on the map to pull everyone back on topic. "I want Mouse to stay here tonight, and we need to send out scouts to look at these locations before an attack. See if there's any we can rule out first."

"We're leaving her alone here?" Hip asks.

"I mean, I'd be safe in the basement, right? Or the workshop – it's mostly a bunker." You offer.

"We're not leaving you alone." Kid grumbles, even though he gives you crooked smile. "You're shit at taking orders, Mouse. I'll stay here – subtle isn't exactly my gig anyway."

"If we happen to come across him while we're scouting, you want us to just handle things?" Emma asks.

"Sure," Kid says. "If you can bring him back here I'd consider it a gift, but at this point we need this problem solved. I ain't going to be a picky bitch about it." He looks around. "Pull Boogie, Reck and Mosh too. Moai and Hop if they're not busy. Tomorrow, I want a call out to gather the crew, give everyone that's scattered a week to get back here."

"Hey House," Kid called out, and put a hand on her shoulder before leaning down and whispering something in her ear.

"I mean, I'll do my best, Captain."

"Yeah, don't go nuts, but do what you can." Kid waved his hand. "Alright, handle your shit, back by dawn."

The crew ruffles your hair or pats you on the back as they file out, leaving you and Kid in the den together.

"What was that with House?" You ask out of curiosity.

"If I wanted the crew to know, I'da said it louder." Kid answers sarcastically, glancing at you from the corner of his eye as he collects up the map.

"I'm not the crew," you say, and you see him flinch. "I'm the fucking mascot." You say with a laugh.

"Seriously Mouse." He muses, putting things back.

"Am I though?" You ask, and see him look at you and raise a brow. "A member of the crew. Truly? Officially? In a you're-not-going-to-tell-me-to-get-into-limos-with-mad-men kind of way?"

"Pretty ballsy assumption thinking I'm not a mad man, Mouse. You want a gold letter certificate or something?" He asks. "I said I wasn't giving you a choice."

"... I hope you didn't recruit everyone else by snoggin' 'em." You say with a grin.

"Only Killer," he answers without missing a beat.

You choke. You didn't even have anything to choke on but air, but you still manage it.

Kid leans down and speaks low into your ear. "Don't underestimate me, Mouse, or I'll have you speaking in tongues on my workbench until you forget your name." He promises you, giving you a light kiss on the side of your neck before he walks out of the den.

The heats rushes from your toes up to your face, and you make an involuntary sound before you can get your hands over your mouth. You're in the chair for a good minute trying to get your body to settle down before you exit the den as well.

Realization sinks in that with everyone out on reconnaissance, you were going to be alone with Kid in the house. You were completely certain that he wasn't going to do anything to you. He said he wouldn't until after Decken had been taken care of, but that was before you were officially part of the crew. It wasn't protection from Decken that was keeping you here, it was deeper than that.

. . . . . .

After getting ready for bed, you found yourself standing outside Eustass' room. You were in the only thing you could really call lingerie that you owned. It wasn't an overtly seductive design, but it was a babydoll design with a little lace, and for you – and you were sure for Eustass – it was going to get the point across.

You knock on the door and hear him on the other side.

"What, too scared to sleep alone to-." The door opens and Kid, and his words, froze. His hair was damp and fell against his face, the white t-shirt he was wearing was dappled with water, and you were a little taken aback how good he looked in sweats.

You weren't sure what to say, but you could feel his eyes on you were certain you were as red as his hair. "You know what you're doing, Mouse?" He asks, and his voice is heavy.

"I'm inexperienced, not uneducated." You manage to reply, looking up at him. It might be your imagination, but he almost looks nervous. "I promise I'm not underestimating you."

There's a loud thump from the other side of the door and you aren't sure if he slammed his fist into something or kicked the wall. There's a moment of silence, and the gaze that settles on you sends a chill up your back.

"I can't promise I'll be able to hold back, Mouse."

"... I can go bite Victoria, if it'll help." You say with a twisted grin.

Kid motions you forward with a finger, that predatory grin on his face. "Get in here."

You step inside, feeling a hum almost like when Kid used his power, and felt your heart stutter when the door clicked closed behind you. You were quickly coming to understand the whole predator/prey relationship as you realize you weren't sure if it was safe to move.

"Go sit on the bed, Mouse." Eustass says, and the tone of his voice almost physically pushes you forward.

You climb onto the bed as he pulls his shirt off, grabbing a chair he comes over and sets it by the edge of the bed. The lamp by the bed is on, it's not bright, but there's more light in the room than you expected. You are exceptionally aware of everything, and trying not to focus on any one thing.

Eustass' room smell like his workshop, but different. There's the scent of metal and wood, but it's muted, and there's a scent of something like bourbon and chocolate mixed in. It's surprisingly elegant and sensual, and reminds you of Victoria and Eustass on the stand in the courtroom – unexpectedly fitting.

He sits on the chair and leans back, regarding you with those golden eyes of his. His tongue slides over his teeth as he grins before his expression turns serious.

"Play with yourself, Mouse." He says, in the same commanding tone that had spurred you toward the bed in the first place.

"Huh?" You heard him, but you couldn't process the words. Your face goes red and you can feel your heart beating faster.

"I know you know how. Show me." He orders. You hesitate for a second and he leans forward. "If you take too long to get started, Mouse, I'm going to start turning on every light in this room."

There's a rush that runs through you and you shake your head. "N-no, I-I'll, um... do it."

You spread your legs open and slip your hand under the band of the lacy underwear. You're already soaking wet, and when your finger slides over your clit you gasp at the unexpectedly strong sensation. You weren't sure if it was his gaze or his commands that had you in this sort of state, but your body was warm and trembling almost as soon as you started.

You hold yourself upright with your left arm as your right hand went to work with practiced movements. Your legs twitch and begin to close as the pleasure began to build up in your thighs, your breath was already coming out heavy, and you bit your lip, concentrating on the sensation.

"Keep your legs open, Mouse." He commands.

"It's – ahngh, n-not easy." You admit, spreading them back open even as your thighs twitched and pull back together. "They always... wanna close..." Your face was so red you could feel the heat in you making you a little light headed.

He stands up and pulls the thin lacey panties down. "Keep going, I'm just getting a better, view." His voice was low and warm, and his sweatpants weren't hiding his enjoyment of the show.

He brings your legs together long enough to pull the thin undergarment off, his hands grabbing your ankles and spreading your legs apart for you. You gasp at the sudden motion and feel a shiver rip through you at the expression on Eustass' face as he took in this new view.

Your heavy breaths were turning into moans, as the pleasure sent shivers down your legs.

"Hngh... Kid, I'm gonna..." For some reason you almost felt like you needed to ask permission, so you did. "Ah, please, lemme c-cum."

"Fuck Mouse, listen to you begging on your own like that," Eustass growls, his fingers tightening around your ankles for a second as his tongue slides across his lips. "Cum for me."

His tone, the words, the situation, the state you had been in before you had even knocked on his door, it was crashing into you as you cried out your pleasure into the room. Your legs twisted in his hands and you laid back on the bed as you came down from your pleasure.

Before you could even sink into the comforter of the bed, Eustass' hands slip up your legs and grab your ass. He pulls you to the edge of the bed as he kneels down and your sensitive twitching clit is devoured by his mouth.

"Hngh-Kiiiiiid!" You exclaim as your words melt into unintelligible moans.

You curl into him in surprise, and his arms shift enough to hook around your thighs and pull your legs open. He pushes into you as he spreads you open, his tongue plunging into your soaking pussy as your hands grab onto his hair.

Your body falls into the bed, your hands pulling at his hair in a futile attempt to get him to stop as the new wave of pleasure begins to overwhelm you. You're not begging him to stop, but when his thumb rolls over your clit and his tongue pushes deeper inside of you, your body clenches so hard you're vaguely worried you're going to pull his hair out.

Instead, he hums approvingly against you, continuing his assault. You feel yourself nearing another climax when he leans back and slips a finger inside you. The sensation causes your breath to catch in your throat, but he doesn't relent. His lips and teeth tease your clit as he fits a second finger inside you, and you can't beg permission from him this time.

You manage to suck in a breath just in time to cry curses into the air as you come again.

"You are deliciously sensitive, Mouse." Eustass purrs, licking along your slit and making your body shudder. "I've got some toys that might actually break you."

Your head's spinning from the pleasure, and your body is already exhausted. You can feel your skin flush as Eustass moves over you, your body sunk into the comforter of the bed. Aside from an airy nervous laugh, you can't muster up the energy to say anything back to him.

You're certainly not going to egg him on at this point, but you're vaguely reminded of Emma teasing you about needing stamina if you were going to be "friends" with Eustass.

He leans down and kisses you softly, his kisses moving from your lips, down along your jaw. When he reaches your ear, he runs his teeth along the sensitive flesh before his voice sinks into you.

"I'm not going to risk breaking you on the first night, Mouse." He says, kissing your neck and eliciting a soft gasp from you. "But I'm not going to make any promises about tomorrow."

#A Light Touch #eustass x reader #one piece eustass kid #one piece fanfiction #reader insert #eustass kid x reader

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