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#please let me see more chaotic tags i beg of u
rabidnurd · 2 months
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Some art I made tonight
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quinnylouhughesx43 · 20 days
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Insta Edit ✩ Jack Hughes
“You can’t ‘out’ what has always been here.”
Summary: a gossip page thinks they’re outing Jack’s relationship but he turns it around on them.
Requested: yes / no
Warnings: all pictures are from Pinterest. none are actually Jack. use of “youruser” and one (y/n)
Authors Note: please keep in mind everything written in edits like the one below, in AUs, or fics/blurbs is completely fictional but may happen to fall in line with factual life events. Just because the storyline may line up with day-to-day life in some way it is not intentional. Unless noted before hand.
nj.hockeytea
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liked by user63, user22, and 12,438 others
tagged: jackhughes, youruser
nj.hockeytea: These pictures sent in by an anonymous user of Jack Hughes and a mystery girl. The message attached with their pictures:
Jack and his family were staying in a beach house [redacted]. This girl came with them. So she isn’t a random hook up. Unless he picked her up at the airport but by the way he was all over her I doubt that’s the story. When they were outside and it was just the two of them it was pure couple stuff, but if his brothers were around she became one of them. I don’t know if she’s trying too hard or if she’s just that in with them.
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user98 ➤ shes been seen with jack before
user3 ➤ could they not give them privacy???
jackhughes ➤ she isnt a mystery girl, she is MY girl and has been my girl.
⟱youruser ➤ jackhughes dont get too worked up j, they just want something to get excited about.
jackhughes
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liked by _quinnhughes, njdevils, lhughes_06, and 84,387
tagged: youruser
jackhughes: (y/n) and I have never believed that we have to post one another to prove our love to each other. We have have never believed that we should have to come straight out to the media and say “hey we’re together!!” That is why you don’t see these pictures or any other. Our lives are chaotic and when we are together we want to be able to freeze time just like anyone else but it be for us, not the world.
comments have been limited by user
_quinnhughes➤ did jack just go soft...
⟱jackhughes ➤ shut up. ill be anything i need to be for (youruser)
youruser ➤ jack, you have always been the sweetest. except when you let your brothers dump ice cream on me when we were 12. :( but i wouldnt trade you for anything or anyone
youruser
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liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, and 287 others
youruser: im begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans, thats my maaaan♡︎
trevorzegras➤ hes going to be so upset you used swift lyrics and he wrote a book
_quinnhughes➤ ignore the idiot above me
_quinnhughes➤ your account is private no one would see if you called out media
_quinnhughes ➤ trevorzegras rowdy is probably staring at them in the pictures and hasn’t looked at the caption
youruser➤ im going to block u spammer
jackhughes➤ willow is damn jam
lhughes_06➤ dear god youruser what did you do to my brother. 23 years around each other is too long…….
⟱youruser➤ too bad youre stuck with me lukie pookie, im here forever. because i said YES.
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amorchai · 2 months
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hii !! i was wondering if i could mayyyebebee request an abed nadir x reader fic?:??::??. there’s nothing of him at all and i love him so bad:( just like go crazy lol:) i would love a romantic relationship in it and preferably with a gender neutral reader please<3 thank you so so so much i appreciate u!!!!
𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐌.
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pairing(s): abed nadir x reader
words: 738
warnings/tags: mentions of neurotypical, abed not understanding, i try to write abed as accurately and appropriate as possible i hope my depiction of him is okay!
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abed wasn’t one for social cues. you knew this from the start of being in the chaotic study group. whenever someone was sarcastic, he thought they were serious. and if someone was unhappy with him it sometimes took abed a while to notice.
however, you trying to let abed know you like him through simple signs was hellish. even a neurotypical person may not even get the signs, therefore poor abed nadir never stood the chance.
troy, as the role of abed’s best friend – practically platonic boyfriend – did notice the signs. watching as you took more than an interest in his movie rants than even troy could sometimes bear, bringing him hot chocolate in the morning, or asking him fitting questions and smiling lovingly as you watched him go into overdrive and talk it out.
annie and troy would fangirl over it, fawning over their best friend having a love interest. oh how badly they wanted abed to have someone, especially someone like you, who treated him just as well as they did.
troy had been desperate to tell abed, knowing you struggled on that end. but after months, annie had begged troy not to ruin the story and that it’ll happen when it’s meant to.
however, his promise to keep it to himself didn’t last long. since, one day, after you left their shared apartment – all lovey dovey eyed after hours of watching abed’s favourite movie per your request – troy immediately let it spill.
annie was smiling, watching abed as the door clicked shut and troy reluctantly set his third chocolate cake slice down to the side, “y/n likes you!”
immediately, annie’s smile drops, landing a swift smack against troy’s arm from sitting beside him, “troy! what did i tell you?” they bicker slightly, at first not noticing their best friend’s confused expression.
“what do you mean?”
annie sighs, looking over to abed who is trying to process the news in his own way – which seems to be slightly confusing but overwhelming him all at the same time.
“… what troy’s trying to tell you is that y/n likes you, like… in a romantic way abed.”
abed’s eyes are darting, eyebrows frowned as he continues to intake the words his friend’s tell him. “in a ‘let’s get together’ way?” asks abed, and they both nod in reply, expectantly watching his expressional response.
abed didn’t depict this in their television show, although he did portray you as the ‘pretty one’ or as the ‘caring and kind’ one of the group which he is now realising is because he thought those things himself.
so, without responding, abed stands, shocking his friend’s as he runs to the door and quickly down the hall. “abed! abed, where are you going?” troy yells desperately, worried tones while annie mutters, “look what you did.”
he doesn’t stop, reading the front door wedged open with an old brick and towards your frame, now opening your car door to drive home. “y/n!” you hear and pause, turning to see abed trudging over.
“abed- whats going on-?” your interrupted as abed kisses you, short but slightly breath-taking as your mind goes blank, in disbelief. once he pulls away, abed says nothing, making you speak first, “is that one of your movie character moments or…” you trail off, unsure what else it would be.
“you like me.”
you groan embarrassed, “i’m gonna kill troy i swear.”
“i like you.”
you pause, looking up at his daring eyes, scanning your confused expression, “y-you do?” you ask him.
“yeah… i think so.”
usually, that answer would worry you, but it was different with abed, it was a major moment between you both in that moment. abed nadir hardly admitted feelings, especially in a romantic sense, unless he was depicting a character.
“do you think annie and troy will be watching us from the window?” you ask with a giggle and abed smiles, immediately responding, “absolutely.”
you lean up, pressing a long and heartfelt kiss to abed’s cheek and you watch his reaction, taken aback but a small smile still covers his face. his fingers touch the spot, his cheeks heating up like a furnace while you spin round to your open door to your car.
“i’ll see you tomorrow, abed, okay?”
“okay.” abed replies, waving you goodbye as you drive off, knowing he will go back into chaos of annie and troy squealing and celebrating their friend’s newfound romance.
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amorchai masterlist . taglist form
amorchai © ─ all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/copying will be tolerated.
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free-pool-trash · 4 years
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Okay, can I requests all free! boys (maybe add for albert and kaede too) with s/o who is youtuber (they s/o is pretty famous though) and what kinds of video would they like to do together. I love your writing and tq for it and don't forget to stay safe🥰🥰
Hey lovely! 💕 i love this request so imma pump it out rn (hey Free! queens haven’t seen yall in a while, how we doing? 😎)
Im just gonna do for style 5 + Albert and Kaede for now but let me know if you want the rest 😉
This is actually something I’ve thought about a lot so lets get into it 🤩
Did i proof read this? No ❤️
Haru:
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He’s that boyfriend who supports you in everything you’re doing while simultaneously having absolutely no clue what you’re doing
For example; vlogging absolutely boggled his mind at first
“Who are you talking to?”
“Oh I’m just vlogging, do you wanna say hi?”
“Vlogging?”
“Yes, say hi.”
“BuT tO wHo?”
After a while he gets used to it though
“You’re vlogging? Hey guys.”
You have to beg him to be in videos otherwise he won’t do it
When he does though it’s usually a good old “How well do we know each other challenge” and sometimes you can even manage to rope him into one of those “picking each others clothes” videos
He’ll make appearances in vlogs though
Actually quite likes holding the camera
He ends up seeing fans in public and when they come up to him he’s like “👁👄👁 how do you know who i am?” But after the initial shock he’s really nice to them
Will facetime you so they can say hi
Absolutely 100% gains a fanbase of his own
All the comments under your videos with him are the funniest things ever with some gems such as:
“Haru really said 😐(😍🥰)😐”
“POV: ur the camera seeing Haru actually smiling ❤️👄❤️”
“#saveharu”
Makoto:
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Supportive king!!!
Hands down your number one fan
He’s always offering to help you with your videos
Is always down with being in videos with you
His favourite thing is making videos like story times and doing gaming videos with you
Which are usually pretty chaotic and funny
The gaming videos provide your subs with a lot of cute y/n-makoto content
“Babe I suck at this”
“No you don’t, you’re the best” he says it really quietly while smashing buttons and taking his game very seriously
Vlogs are the best too, he talks to the camera like he’s on a FaceTime
“Oh! Hey guys, how are you all doing? I hope you’re doing good.”
Your fans love him
You’ve earned the “mom and dad” title
Since they love him so much you often let him take over daily vlogs
“Hey guys. Y/n isn’t feeling great today so you’re stuck with me!”
The comment section:
“Hi dad 🥺😭”
“Imagine having a boyfriend who loves u enough to literally do your job for you when you’re sick 😭😭😭😭”
“Whose gonna tell y/n that her boyfriend contemplated bringing home like 5 different cats 😳”
Everyone wants you to give him an e-boy transformation
You’re still trying to convince him
Rei:
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I think he’d really enjoy doing videos with you
Not camera shy at all
The man has a lot to say
His partner has a beautiful online presence and he’s super proud of you!
He’d love making videos that have a little bit of competitiveness to them
Loves a challenge
Playing boyfriend tags with him is stressful af because he has the date of everything you’ve ever done memorised
Absolutely BODIES the swapping clothes for a day videos
He’s a really good sport and your fans really like him
“Rei looks better in a skirt than I do, you guys...”
“I simply can’t help my calf muscles, my love.”
Not great with vlogging
The comments you get:
“Rei when the vlog camera comes out in the mall 🙈 i do not see🙈”
“I wanna see them wear matching outfits 👀”
“Y/n please ask Rei to start up a studying channel 😭”
You actually rope him into making a study tips video with you
To be fair he does most of the talking and you just listen and look at him like 🤩🥰
He loves interacting with fans
He’s always liking and commenting on fan edits of you on Instagram
Nagisa:
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Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien. Jenna and Julien.
Most chaotic baby on camera
Craft! Videos!
Also chaotic challenges
King of gaming videos
He also is willing to let you put make up on him
“Nagisa, I’m begging you, please sit still.”
Absolutely does not sit still but gives you a lil kiss
He’s so sweet on and off camera
Most of your vlog content is just him doing golden retriever boy stuff
Your audience adore him
Videos come up in your suggestions and they’re all like, “Nagisa being chaotic for ten minutes straight”, “Y/n trying to get Nagisa to pay attention for 4 minutes.”
He gets so excited when your doing videos together, “Yeah guys, this is actually my channel now. I’m taking it over.”
“No he isn’t.”
“Yes I am. Sorry babe but you’re fired.”
Mr. Steal your channel
Rin:
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😍😍😍 am i right?
First of all; he’s such a heart throb
Your fans are obsessed with him
He always wants you to work out with him so you decide to get some content out of it
Video gems like “Eating like my olympian Boyfriend for a week”
“RinRin, how the fuck are you even still alive?”
“It’s a salad, Y/n, not a bowl of air.”
“Who the fuck orders a salad at a restaurant, Rin?”
“I’m so sorry that you guys have to hear this profanity.” He says to the camera as if he doesn’t swear every five seconds
Those are usually the types of videos you guys make together
The comments you guys get when he’s feeling lovey in a video
“Oh to be Y/n 😓”
“Alexa, play sweater weather by the neighbourhood”
“The way he looks at her. Im in pain.”
“If they ever break up, i want you to put me down.”
Vlogging at the movies is hilarious because 99% of the time when you come out he’s crying
“Guys please stop telling Rin to take his shirt off on camera, he literally can’t say no and it’s distracting.”
Rin swimming content is highly requested
And what can you say? You give the people what they want 😌✨
Albert:
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He’s into it
Once the camera comes on, this man becomes a comedic legend
“Hey guys, today we’re uh, doing something. I’m gonna be honest I don’t know, I didn’t ask. My girlfriend pulls out the camera and I do what I’m told.”
“We’re going to give you different aesthetics.”
He’s like 🤗 “oh okay go for it”
Very complient
He’s down for absolutely anything
“Content is content baby”
Sometimes he just comes into your video room and hijacks your videos
“Thought I’d pop in and say hi”
And by pop in and say hi he actually means sit beside you and look at the camera like he’s on The Office
Oh my god do the fans love this man
He trolls them
He sees comments like, “Y/n is so cute! 😍” and he’s like, “That’s why she has a boyfriend.”
They love him though and if he sees them out in public he’s super sweet
Kaede:
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(Im ngl this dude kinda scares me)
Probably has to be coaxed into making videos with you
I get the impression that this man is cocky on camera
Did someone say ✨pda✨
“K, I’m making a video”
“So?”
Doesn’t really interact with fans
Or pay too much attention when he’s actually filming with you
He doesn’t really care but he does it because it makes you happy
He’s more responsive when it comes to vlogs
“I’ve convinced y/n to come to the pool with me, she doesn’t swim but she looks hot in a swimsuit. Not as good as I do, but still.”
You have to cut a lot of the stuff he says out of videos
He makes so many innuendos
✨comments✨:
“It’s the way Kaede doesn’t care about literally anything for me 🙈”
“Someone please check on Y/n, she’s TIRED 😩😓.”
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secrelty-z · 4 years
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Haikyuu Boys
Playing with their hair
Paring: oikawa x reader / bokuto x reader / kenma x reader / kuroo x reader /
A/N: Kenmas was specifically for @fangirlingtrash go give her a follow and check out her stuff! Also Bokutos wasn’t that good but oh well😭
Tags: @come-on-shitty-boys @nekxrizawa @miyaniacs @h00dedhijabi
Warnings: None
Fluff
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*sigh* i love this man
god i love his hair
but sis ur funny
he will NOT let you touch his hair
you’d literally have to POUNCE on him to get to his hair and touch it
ngl i feel like his hair is lowkey just the way it is. maybe he does blow dry it more but TELL ME HIS HAIR ISNT SO SOFT IN REAL LIFE
bruh that shit would feel like touching the MF CLOUDS
UGHHHHH i just wanna flatten his hair w my hand let go and see it ✨swish✨ back into place
this dudes a disney princess istg
you guys would be sitting on the couch together and you’d be like:
“Tōru?” he hummed back a response as he kept scrolling on his phone. Your boyfriend was currently sitting between your legs while you were watching a show. “Can I play with your hair?” Oikawa immediately got up, eyes wide he stared at you “Don’t you dare! We’ve talked about this! I spend precious time doing my hair!” ��Oh ya?” you respond while inching closer and closer until your noses we’re almost touching. The moment Tōru tried to get up and run for it your reflexes kicked in. You grabbed onto his neck and wrapped your legs around his torso bringing him down. “NO! Y/N-CHAN GET OFF!” he was trying to get up without hurting you but you just grabbed his head and dug your nose into his hair, taking in his sent. That’s when he let out a squeal, “I’m not letting you go this time!” Tōru stopped moving, sat up and just whined while you started playing and patting his hair. Tōru fell asleep that night while you were trying to make mini braids all over his head. Let’s just say he looks adorably stupid with wavy hair.
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he would want you to play with his hair
sis we’ve all seen fanart of him w his hair down
BUT JUST IMAGINE
I-
ngl don’t hate me for this but i feel like his hair wokld lowkey be damaged
...oops
THE AMOUNT OF GELLLL
after a shower would be the time do play/do his hair
blow dry it 🥺 braid it 🥺 give him pigtails 🥺 
and he’d just look at you like 🥰
gtg kms
Bokuto finished changing after his shower and plopped next to you on your shared bed. You looked up from your phone and saw how messy Bo’s hair was. You sighed and pushed his hair back, giving it a slicked-back look then resting your hand on Bokuto’s cheek. Bokuto turned his head so that he could kiss your palm and nuzzle into your hand. You couldn’t help but squeal, “BOKUTO STOP BEING SO CUTE!!” you said as you lightly pushed him. He looked at you with the cutest puppy dog eyes and just went “play with my hair.” You couldn’t say no! You guys put on your favourite show and started watching while playing with bokutos hair. Brushing it, putting it up into pigtails, he even lets you curl his hair. Once you were done he wanted to match so he tried to make your hair look the same as his, and to be honest he did a pretty decent job. You guys ended up making tiktoks and took photos together.
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kenma hates it when people touch his hair 
but he really liked it when u do it 
even tho he’ll never admit it
he finds it relaxing 
but he’ll never tell u that
 his hair would be super soft 
literally like SILK
tell me im wrong
u cant 
cuz im not 
Kenma was gamming as usual and Kuroo was on call with him- as usual. He, Kuroo and some other guys were playing Call Of Duty. You were bored but you didn’t want to bother the boys. So you went and sat behind kenma quietly. He was eyeing you while trying to focus on the TV. Not saying anything as you wrapped your legs around his torso and gave him a kiss then went it for the kill. Kenma hated it when people touched his hair. So he was lowkey shook when you dug your fingers in his hair. He let out a squeak and Kuroo asked what that sound was. Turning around kenma glared at you, “that was Y/N.” It took everything in you not to laugh. Sneaky brat… Kenma thought to himself as he continued gaming. Not bothering to mute himself and tell you something, he let you do as you please wanting to know how this was going to go. You sat there happy as ever that Kenma wasn’t swatting away your hand this time. Eventually, he started relaxing and leaning back into you. When the boys ended the game Kenma took off his headset and turned to look at you. Leaning on you, but not squashing you, he rested his chin on your chest. “Do it again...,” he asked blushing while hiding his face in your chest. You almost burst. You grabbed his face and gave him an Eskimo kiss and started playing with his hair as he fell asleep.
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man this man 100% wakes up and boom thats his hair for the day 
if u like playing with hair 
then you chose the wrong man 
im telling u, u cant put ur hand in his hair and be able to take ur hand back out
but if you brush it 
✨chefs kiss✨
youd just want to play with his hair and hed just keep saying 
“next time” “meh maybe later” 
then you’d get fed up 
sit him down
and do his hair 
lots of screaming
lost of ranting
lost of kuroo screaming OW THAT HURT
basically so chaotic
“Is this necessary?” Kuroo asked with a whine. “Yes, Kuroo! I can’t take it anymore” you say as you dramatically pretend to faint on Kuroo as he pushed you off him. “Fine but you better not mess up my hair” You looked at him with the most confused/disgusted look and pushed him onto the bed. He fell with a ‘Oof’ and you sat next to him. You started brushing his hair and on my lord, “Kuroo when the fuck was the last time you brushed your hair? 50 years ago?” After brushing his hair- which took 30 minutes- you started styling it. It started out as just a down look, you tried giving him a perm, begged him to shave his hair into an undercut but ended up deciding on a slicked-back look. Kuroo lowkey started admiring himself in the mirror and thought it would be fun to dress up while you were at it. He wore a suit and you wore a cutie short dress and did your hair as well. You guys started goofing off and even decided to go to McDonald’s at night while wearing your formal clothing and took pictures. It was definitely a day to remember. 
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tarantulas4davey · 3 years
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Youtuber!Ralbert Au - Part Two
once again inspired by the wonderful and fabulous @we-are-inevitable and you can find her original concept here
part one to this series can be found here
and my valentine’s concept can be found here
i finally did it guys are you proud ✨
LETS DO THIS THING
now that we’re here, i realized i forgot some vital information last time (aka i hadn’t come up with it yet but ranting to jorja helped me solidify the world thank you mother goose)
so race’s online handle is radioactive racer, and albert’s is, as we know, chaotic red
both of these come from when they were in middle school and had just made vine accounts
albert’s entire account was just videos of race doing dumb shit while he cackled in the background
race’s was just memes
but because this was middle school, race looks WILDLY DIFFERENT compared to now
he was in his full dyed hair and guyliner phase, and before he grew 8 inches the summer before freshman year, so he’s fairly unrecognizable in the vines of him (plus,,,, they were dumb 13 year olds, only their friends saw their vines)
but there’s just,,,, an account full of very cringe videos of 7th grade racetrack higgins on the internet that nobody’s connected to them yet, so we’ll do something with that eventually
now back to your regularly scheduled programming ✨
so race and ‘red’ announced they were dating about a month ago, and it’s getting increasingly difficult to make sure al’s face isn’t visible in any clips
also both of their channels are gaining more traction, and race is getting recognized more in public (which he adores, i might add)
but it means that eventually someone’s going to make the connection between the redhead race is walking around with and chaotic red
so despite how anxious it makes him
how genuinely terrified he is that he won’t live up to expectations and everyone will be disappointed
he decides to post a Q&A video to his channel and reveal his identity
it starts with him adjusting the focus onto the couch in their living room, before his stocky frame, black sabbath shirt, jewelry and freckles walk on screen, and he sits down
if anybody had any idea what to expect, the crooked grin, lip ring and custom snapback probably weren’t terribly high on their list
he lets out a breath and his grin gets a bit wider, before he waves into the camera “hey guys! so,,,, this is probably a bit out of left field, but i wanted to properly introduce myself. i’m albert, nice to meet you, but please, call me red.”
his eyes flicker to behind the camera and he rolls his eyes slightly at race’s chuckling that barely audible to the audience
“don’t you dare laugh at me, i’ve never done this before!”
“you’re doing great babe, you’re just a massive dork.”
“stuff it, blondie.”
al can’t really hold back his laughter, not completely, so he huffs a bit before turning back to the camera and properly answer questions to “let the people get to know me”
the dynamic from race’s original video revealing their roommates is flipped
the audience finally getting to see that albert’s grin pulls up slightly farther on the left side than the right
or that he fidgets with his lip ring when he’s thinking through an answer
or the utterly s o f t look he has in his eyes when he looks at racer, one that seriously doesn’t match his mischievous expression or abrasive voice
he answers questions with more ease than he expected, excited to finally be sharing, but once it comes time to hit upload he freezes
“race i don’t think i can do this”
“of course you can sweetheart, everyone already loves you”
“but what if they’re disappointed? what if i’m not cool or interesting or attractive enough? what if-“
“al i k n o w you did not just look at me with t h a t face and claim to not be ‘attractive enough’. attractive enough for who, red? people that are gonna say mean shit anyway?”
al ends up hitting the upload button and promptly hitting his forehead on his desk in anguish cause holy shit what’d i just do
all his worrying ends up being for nothing because everyone absolutely adores him and won’t stop saying how p r o u d they are and how pretty he is
“i told you, dumbass. you’re the prettiest person i know.”
“stop it, you sap.”
he starts using face cams for his (and race’s, when he’s on the chaotic red channel) gameplays and his focused face is s o c u t e
race finally doesn’t have to be sneaky or beg him to take pictures anymore
race is also incredibly excited to not have to aggressively edit all his videos to make sure you can’t see al’s face/hear his name in any of them
race “accidentally” leaves the clip of them slow dancing in the kitchen to ed sheeran in the vlog right after the face reveal
when al next films a sit down video, race is behind the camera, and they’re going through old pictures of albert from childhood (most of them have race in them too, he might as well be there)
this is when the fans discover albert blushes when he’s embarrassed
this video is also how everyone connects the old chaotic red vine account to them and race is m o r t i f i e d
they make it to a picture of them just after they got together, race leaning into albert’s side loosing his shit at something jack is doing off camera, but in-the-picture albert is too busy looking completely head over heels for race to notice whatever they’re doing over there
al just grins and looks up at race with the same stupid mushy expression
“that’s when i knew i was really in love with you”
you can basically hear race m e l t behind the camera and he just tackles al into a hug on the couch and it’s SUCH a cute couple-y moment
“yeah, and you were calling m e the sap earlier. s u r e, whatever helps you sleep at night, albie.”
“it ain’t sappy if it’s true, tonio.”
and editing-al cuts it off, but race had untucked his face from al’s neck and dragged him into a kiss
when he finally got back to filming, al may or may not have had to use cover up on his neck to make it less conspicuous, but that’s neither here nor there to be honest
also this isn’t a necessary addition but every once in awhile race or al will forget to cover up marks on their necks before filming and get absolutely ROASTED on twitter
i have a thousand more ideas for this au so i promise i will be making more at some point but here’s ✨this✨ for now
lmk if you want me to add you to a tag list or whatever cause i’m down with that
ok fín
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But again, he was just a little too late...
Hello!! I’m back and finally gathered the motivation to finish this! Here is one of the Izumi angsts that I keep on going on about!! It took me ages, but I decided that since I don’t think my motivation will let me make this any longer, I might as well bring it to a suitable end and post it for you to see :)
I hope you enjoy, I spent a little too long on this one (the other Izumi angst is a little longer but a bit more on the proper angsty side, so there’s that one to look forward to when it’s done!)
Warnings: mentions of death, destruction, panic, and death.
Tagging: @kiriderp @chaotic-trash-can @theshisthings (if anyone else would like to be tagged in any of my writing posts so you can see them, please let me know and I will happily do so!😊)
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“Oi, Jeanist, slow down!! What the hell?!”
An exasperated Hawks yelled as he clung onto the side of the car seat, his body pressed closely against a very squashed Rumi, who was sprawled rather awkwardly over an even more squished Ryuko.
“Dude! Say something, for god’s sake! What’s going on?!!” Rumi shouted, trying to correct her posture but failing miserably. “I know that ya like to conceal stuff and hide things so people don’t worry but-”
“-this is getting rather concerning, Tsunagu.” Ryuko interrupted the rabbit hero, speaking the thought that was running through all of their minds as the blond man drove at incredibly high speeds down the highway.
“What’s going on?”
No answer.
“Tsunagu.”
Still no answer. The tall man’s hands clenched tighter around the steering wheel, his breath wavering slightly.
“HAKAMATA, FOR FUCKS SAKE-”
“-ALRIGHT! Bloody hell, Ryuko....” Tsunagu blurted out a reply, his hands shaking slightly as he tried to steady his voice. “....w-we just. I need- I need to get there....”
Ryuko sighed and her eyes softened slightly as she heard the vulnerability in the older man’s voice. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, it’s just....I’m worried.”
“We all are....” Keigo chimed in informatively.
Tsunagu nodded his head and sighed. “I know, I know. It’s fine, Ryu, it’s my fault, I should’ve at least said something.”
The dragon hero chewed her lip and looked out the window, thinking back to what happened.
They’d all been waiting to be called for a mission of any sort and were interrupted by a hero message alert, simply informing them about an accident that had happened somewhere. This happened a lot and would notify heroes that were nearby so that they could be on standby for if aid was needed.
Now, all was well, until Jeanist read the message and received another immediately afterwards that contained information that the others were unaware of.
Ryuko observed as the man’s face went paler than ever as he read what had been sent to him, and she didn’t even have time to react or ask before being flung quickly into the back of his car along with the other two and told that it was ‘an emergency’.
“It was that alert, wasn’t it?” She muttered, not wanting to know the answer as she feared the worst. “Wait- Shinya, what about Shinya, where is he?”
Tsunagu winced at the harsh sound of the woman’s voice and prepared to answer but was cut off by Rumi as she gave her thoughts of what Ryuko had just said.
“Isn’t he on patrol around that area with Kamui and Mount Lady?” She questioned, yelping slightly as the car took another sharp turn and sent her flying straight to the other side of the car. “Augh...The message said it was only a small villain attack but it’s mainly the building that got demolished....though they said there were some casualties and injuries and such...”
Tsunagu’s chest grew tight and he started shaking even more at the thoughts that raced through his mind. ‘Oh god....no please.....please be safe...oh please, I beg you....’
“....look at the time...” the blond man whispered, his voice sounding even more vulnerable than before.
4:50pm.
What was so special about 4:50pm?
“What- what’s up with the time?” Rumi asked hesitantly. Looking over Ryuko’s arm as she checked the time. “It’s 4:50, what about it?”
“Izu-” Tsunagu stuttered, his breath hitching as he felt that familiar feeling creep from his stomach up to his throat yet again. “Izumi finishes her school at this time. Hana....Hana looks after her and takes her home....but- but the area. This- argh!”
The car swerved sharply as the blond man narrowly avoided a massive crevice in the road. They stopped moving and looked at the sight in front of them.
They were there. They were at the area that they’d been told about but were shocked to see that the building had completely vanished. It was not there. It was as if someone had plucked it from the ground and taken it elsewhere.
“Holy shit...” Keigo muttered, his wings slumped slightly at the sight that he saw.
Rumi’s ears did the same, as they drooped against her face in a shocked manner while she took in the imagery of the rubble filled, dusty concrete space in front of them.
Ryuko clutched onto the seat in front of her tightly and could feel as Tsunagu’s shoulders dropped, her own breath wavering as she looked out the window.
Police cars and ambulances were scattered around the scene, many heroes could be seen trying to clear the rubble. Despite feeling like such an empty space, there was carnage everywhere.
“Oh god, Tsunagu, please tell me that my suspicions are wrong...” Ryuko quietly spoke, her hands letting go of the seat in front of her as she moved to open the door. “Please....tell me that what you were worried for isn’t what I think it is...”
The blond man drew in a sharp breath and fumbled for the door handle, pushing it open. The other three watched as he stumbled out of the car and exchanged concerned looks before following him in his actions and hurriedly getting out of the car themselves.
“Oi!” Hawks called out, trying to get the older man to slow down as he watched him run towards the police officer that was standing amidst the rubble. “Jeans- Tsunagu, for gods sake, slow down!”
The blond man was too caught up in his worried thoughts to notice the yelling coming from the other three that were following him. His head was so heavy. So loud.
‘Oh god-’
“Tsunagu!”
His stomach felt as if someone had set it on fire....a familiar feeling...too familiar.
‘Please, no-’
“Hey!”
He felt tears prick at his eyes as he reached the shorter police officer who was looking up at him in quite a terrified manner.
“Where are they.”
The smaller figure looked up and squeaked at the surprisingly threatening tone of the fiber hero’s voice.
“U-um, sir? Pl-please wait, don’t-”
“Let me through.” Tsunagu interrupted, no longer trying to mask the harshness of his voice.
“I’m sorry, I-I really can’t let you do that right now, sir. You can’t-”
“Let me get through, and let me see what’s going on.” He loomed above the other man, his long and thin figure casting a dark shadow onto those who were in front of him.
“B-but-”
“Now.”
“Jeanist, sir, please I can’t just-” The police officer cut himself off as he saw the hero’s eyes.
Bright teal orbs glowing with adrenaline, rage and dread, staring straight back into his own. Their light intense enough to mortify the soul that shook in fear within oneself.
This was enough to completely terrify and intimidate the officer. He obeyed the tall man’s demand and dropped everything he was doing as he stepped back hesitantly in shock, unable to look away.
“C-carry on, sir!”
Taking this opportunity, Tsunagu rushed forwards and weaved his way through the piles of rubble, jumping over some of them and kicking some out of the way as he neared the centre of the attack.
‘Idiot!’
Tsunagu snapped his head up at the thoughts that started flooding his mind as he stared up at the huge chunk of concrete that seemed to loom ominously over him.
‘You’re so slow- too late, always too late...’
He shook his head and took a step forward. ‘What would your family think? It’s not like they’d care about you any-’
“Shut up!” He blurted out, feeling his eyes sting from the tears that refused to fall. “Shut up....goddammit, Tsunagu, you’re an idiot.....Shinya....Izumi.....shit...”
His mind felt as if it would explode at any moment. He blamed himself, he always had, but the dread and fear for what he’d find was too much to bear...he couldn’t breathe.
‘So slow-’
“Oh god...”
He stumbled around the massive boulder and shuddered at the sight he saw. The sight that was hidden from everyone else.
‘Too slow-’
“No no no-”
He felt a pair of warm hands gently grasp his shoulders from behind as he watched two younger heroes run towards him in a manner of which to prevent him from going any further towards the usually comforting and familiar flash of red that was wrapped around the kneeling figure that lay ahead of him.
‘Too late.’
Tsunagu felt his heart shatter as he looked at what was in front of him. The tears started to fall and his voice faltered as he tried to call out to his husband, his child, his family...anyone....
“No...th-that’s not right....no...”
“Hey, I don’t think this is a good idea...” Mt Lady spoke quietly as they approached the taller man, her eyes darting back to where Shinya was curled up on the ground.
Kamui shakily looked up at the blond man and took in the fear in his face.
“Let...me...go...” Tsunagu weakly demanded, his voice fading slightly as he tried to shrug the winged hero’s hands off of him.
“I can’t, Tsunagu....holy shit...you two...what happened?” Hawks stuttered out, his own words failing at the sight in front of him, his grip still firm on the other’s shoulders.
“I- I can’t say it.....not here....not now...” Shinji whispered as he tried to steady the tall figure in front of him, his own eyes saddened by the harsh truth of what had happened, blinking rapidly to try and clear away the tears that had already made themselves present. “Jeanist, please......please wait a moment, this isn’t a good idea....”
“Let me go...” Tsunagu’s hollow voice croaked out again, yet this time it seemed to get louder...more desperate....
“Wait! You need to calm down, it’s not safe!” Yuu exclaimed, her voice still trying to be soft. She grabbed onto Tsunagu’s arm and shook it gently, trying to bring him back to reality and make him pay attention to them. But it didn’t work.
His throat tightened as he stared at the crumpled figure of his husband on the ground, his heart racing as his thoughts grew deafeningly louder. He couldn’t hear the others. He couldn’t feel the reassuring hands of the three that held him back from behind...or the hesitant words of comfort from the two that blocked his path.
“Let me get to them!”
All he could hear was the pain of his own thoughts and the silent screams that came from his husbands mouth...the muffled wailing that only he seemed to be able to hear...
“Shinya...”
“For gods sake, please calm down-” Ryuko’s steady voice cut through his thoughts and snapped him back to reality, making him realise that he still hadn’t gotten any further, and that Shinya was still there, curled up on the cold ground.
“Please! Let me see them!” Tsunagu cried out, his voice still straining to the point where barely any sound would come out. “My family, let me get to my family!”
Hawks pivoted around to face the struggling blond and sharply dug his fingers into the older man’s shoulders, trying to make him come to his senses. “For pity’s sake, Jeanist, you know this is a bad idea! You need to calm down, ‘cause out of all people, if you lose control-”
“I need to see my child.”
“Oi!”
“Where is my daughter?”
The two younger heroes that had been with the ninja hero at the time of the incident shared a worried glance and thought back to the moment that Shinya found out what had happened...the fear on his face...the heartbroken scream he let out when he saw....
“Tell me...”
When he saw......
“Let me see my child...”
“Hakamata-san.....” Yuu started, her voice cutting off as more tears welled up in her eyes.
“Let me go....”
“Please....you need to calm down....please listen to us....” Shinji finished what the blonde woman tried to say.
“Don’t touch me...” Tsunagu’s eyes clouded over yet again, his heart racing as he tried to fight against the others.
“You know bloody well this isn’t a good idea!” Rumi hissed as she tried to help Ryuko grab hold of the tall man’s shoulder.
“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Tsunagu yelled out, his voice finally making enough noise to startle and frighten the others, the tears streaming down his face even more than before.
“Shit-”
“LET ME GO!”
“For God’s sake-”
“LET ME GO!!”
“No- we can’t, you know this-”
“STOP IT!”
“We’re trying to help, for fucks sake-”
“LET ME GET TO THEM!”
“TSUNAGU!”
At the sudden loud mention of the fiber hero’s name, the silver haired man’s head snapped up and turned towards the commotion in a weary manner.
Locking eyes like the first time they met, the two anguished heroes shared a gaze. Two parents...partners....family....feeling the same despair and pain as each other as they knew...they knew what they both would have to accept.
“.....Tsunagu?” Shinya called out weakly, his voice barely making a sound as he reached out for his husband. “.....you’re here?”
The others watched as the smaller figure reached out to them, their eyes darting back to the man they were holding.
Tsunagu’s face seemed calmer than it was before, still distraught and pained, but calmer. He seemed to breathe slower and his shoulders lowered as he locked eyes with the other man.
“Shinya...” Ryuko started, her voice filled with concern and worry. “Shinya, are you-”
“Let him go...” The silver haired man interrupted the shaky dragon hero, his voice still quiet despite the boldness of his words. “Let him through...”
“Shinya-”
“Let him get to me...let him see her...” His grey eyes seemed to pierce through the air sharper than his own body when using his quirk, despite how dull and hollow they appeared.
Seeing this, the others shared a hesitant glance before letting go of the distraught Jeanist, their hands lingering slightly to let him know that they were all still there for him.
Stumbling forward slowly, Tsunagu reached out to Shinya, his knees buckling beneath him as he fell into the shaky arms of the other man.
“I-I....I can’t....Shinya, I’m sorry...” he started, his tears rolling steadily down his face.
“Don’t....don’t apologise to me, Tsu, we are both sharing this pain....” the silver haired man whispered, rocking the child in his arms ever so slightly as his own tears fell down the sides of his cheeks. “Just....look at her....look at them both.....look....look at her face, Tsunagu, her face-”
The blond man whimpered as the other man shook in despair, holding his family closer to his chest as they took in the peaceful features of the two that lay in his arms.
The small child that was bundled up in Shinya’s arms stared up lifelessly at them, her usually bright and happy teal eyes, now dull and empty. Her light silver hair was dishevelled and dirty, matted by the dust and rubble that was laying around them. Her tiny little body, laying there, broken and damaged...in a way that not even the most heartless creatures could stand and look over....and the imagery of her childhood, stripped away forever. Her life...cut shorter than anyone could ever deserve.
A different pair of kind and caring arms were wrapped around the resting child. Ones that did not belong to Shinya or Tsunagu, but to a certain hero whose own life had been interrupted by the sudden incident.
Hana’s face seemed to carry so much focus, despite being devoid of life and hope, and her eyes still carried their usual determination. She had always been willing to die fighting for those she loved, however it was never meant to be this soon....not with Izumi...not with her trying and failing to protect her own niece.
“What....what happened....” Tsunagu muttered, burying his face deeper into the top of Shinya’s head and taking the other man’s hand gently in his own, squeezing it in the same reassuring way he would’ve done when their family was alive.
“They were walking home...” Shinya croaked, his voice getting smaller as he held his sister and his child’s body closer to him. “They were just coming home, but they got caught- they got caught up in- Tsunagu, I can’t-”
The taller man attempted to comfort his shivering husband but couldn’t stop his own tears from intensifying.
“Tsunagu....Hana...she tried so hard...” Shinya reached down and fixed a stray strand of hair that was poking out from the fairy hero’s head. “My sister....she....she’s gone.....she.....she tried so hard to protect her...our petal, our little Izumi...”
He trailed off, tears falling onto the red scarf that he had wrapped around the two that lay in his arms.
“Our child....our baby....” Tsunagu breathed, continuing from his husband’s unfinished sentence, his own voice sounding more broken than ever.
“Why....why did this happen?” The smaller man asked a question that he didn’t really want the answer to, yet he asked desperately anyway.
“Shinya...” Tsunagu turned away in pain, looking back at the other heroes he had dragged with him. He felt bad. He didn’t mean to yell at them or push them away...but the blind panic he felt had washed over him like a tidal wave drowning out the signs of those who were trying to help. But now he saw. He could think, he could see, he could hear them clearly once again.....but it was too late for that......and it was too much, too loud, he knew too much of what he wish had never had to know.
He watched as Ryuko crumpled to the floor in anguish, barely being held up by the usually strong bunny hero, who’s ears were now pressed against her face, both being comforted by the winged hero that stood by their side. Keigo’s head hanging low as he felt his heart fill up with a familiar sadness that he knew all too well.
“Why did this happen to us?”
Shinya’s words rang through the air as clear and sharp as the cold winter air that they used to play in as a family, throwing snowballs at eachother and watching as Izumi jumped into the massive piles of snow, only to come out shivering and asking for warm hugs and to be wrapped in her favourite blanket. Those memories that could never happen again.
The fiber hero looked back down into his husbands eyes and saw the pain once again, seeing the desperation from deep down within Shinya’s soul.
He took a deep breath and tried to reply as steadily as he could, keeping the other man’s gaze locked to his own.
“Because she’s our daughter....and anything that happens to us will only ever result in pain for those we love the most....”
Shinya felt more tears run down his face as he listened to the familiar and somewhat still so soothing voice of his husband, sharing the truth of what he had already known.
“That’s how it’s always been for us...all throughout our lives.” Tsunagu continued, closing his eyes as he felt his tears blur his vision over and over again.
“It’s all our fault.” Shinya quietly mumbled, brushing the dirt off of their child’s face as he cried.
Looking up, the silver haired hero saw a flash of blue in the distance, and watched the horror seep into the familiar secretary’s face as she looked upon the bodies he held in his arms, falling to the ground as she saw Hana’s broken figure, and wailing when the reality that her partner was actually gone had fully sunk in.
“We’re her parents....and because of that, now she’s dead.”
Shinya felt Tsunagu’s embrace tighten and watched as his husband place a gentle hand against Izumi’s face.
“Our child is dead...Tsunagu.....our child.....our petal....our sunshine....”
The words that escaped Shinya’s lips stuck daggers into both of their hearts as the felt the shared pain of losing a loved one once more.
“Our baby...” the taller man whimpered, his head no longer able to be held up high, resting on the others own shoulders.
The pain they shared was more excruciating than any injury or near-death experience they had ever felt, all combined together. For they had once felt the joys of being a happy family, becoming parents to a whole entire new life that saw the happiness in everything. For the first time in both of their lives, they had felt true peace, and true happiness. But once it was taken away from them, the light they saw in those moments, would never shine again.
“She’s gone....”
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btxtreads · 4 years
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ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD
extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)
tagged by @txthearteu​
tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk
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ONE
tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?
of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.
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TWO
rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!
what’s your unrealistic goal for life?
becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA
if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?
Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺
what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?
hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.
favourite type of plushies and why?
God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy
favourite song right now?
right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.
something that you’ve always wanted to learn?
Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting
tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)
ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.
headphones or speakers? why?
speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.
craving any food right now? what are you craving?
anything with cheese
which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?
spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo
😌✌️
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questions from cj to me:
android or apple? why?
APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac
words of affirmation or physical affection? why?
I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes
bean bag or rocking chair? why?
Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.
do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)
I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.
If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?
Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES
if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)
Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him
favorite season and why
Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.
what made you enter tumblr?
I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man
are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?
Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.
to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?
Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.
QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:
Cinema or Netflix? Why?
Fire or Rain? Why?
What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?
How do you handle stress?
Favorite Disney Princess and why?
Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?
How did you get into KPOP?
What kind of merch you got 👀
Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)
Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)
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THREE
rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.
AIR ༉⋆͙̈
i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me
FIRE ༉⋆͙̈
i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing
WATER ༉⋆͙̈
i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words
EARTH ༉⋆͙̈
i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life
AETHER ༉⋆͙̈
i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally
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FOUR
PERSONAL
name: -
nickname: rina
birthday: - 
zodiac: gemini
nationality: filipino
languages: english, filipino 
gender: female
sexuality: straight
height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 
BLOG STUFF
inspiration for muse: --
meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj
blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!
followers: 384!!! love yall 
FAVORITES
favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y
favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL
favourite colour: black, blue, purple
favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi
favourite flower: white roses
favourite scent: coffee
favourite season: winter
RANDOM
average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.
cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me
coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet
current time: 12:21 AM
dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN
dream job: actress or singer
hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids
hogwarts house: gryffindor
last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)
last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC
no. of blankets you sleep with: 1
random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh
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FIVE
10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)
Run Away - TXT
Work It - Sabrina Carpenter
Euphoria - BTS
Song Cry - Yeonjun
Helpless - Hamilton OBC
Satisfied - Hamilton OBC
Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC
Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST
Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter
Friends - BTS
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alchemist-shizun · 5 years
Text
As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites
Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.
Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)
HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN
"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on
I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep
"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU
They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong
Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood
ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION
SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE
wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-
LOGAN'S HERE
"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg
"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete
"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway
Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though
"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE
"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.
4:17 Patton is adorable bye
"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP
great flick
"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that
YOU HIGH-JOCKED
okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired
WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen
OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT
W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that
"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"
First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY
Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST
"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?
SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.
"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??
"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"
a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene
this is gonna be stuck in my head all day
THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.
god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this
"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?
omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever
THE JUICY STUFF DANCE
"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all
GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him
"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES
pattonnnn did a real good job
THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes
"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)
GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING
WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"
"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst
THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that
JOAN
the forbidden dance
INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES
there u go thomas said it too
haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD
irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides
"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips
REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"
"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO
"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time
Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time
Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good
REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC
That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened
"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create
"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"
gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP
"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed
"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk
the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.
HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*
"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"
"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the
... the deodorant eating ...
DUKEY
The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is
Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.
"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING
LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP
"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man
THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT
what are they doing to him today let him rest
double blow
"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure
"shit"
THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU
"not all thoughts are meaningful"
He's go- no he's back again
THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?
"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?
"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"
"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that
I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter
why did Virgil look like he was about to cry
Patton I love you
Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see
Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie
"you tickle me emo"
"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will
ROMAAAAN
VIRGILS SMILE
"YOU'RE ALIVE"
"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO
"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other
"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.
I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.
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that's my point.
All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive
"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it
Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much
"I don't like him" makes two of us
"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy
The m i r r o r it's making me cry
"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside
Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.
"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying
"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him
The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you
I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for
"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break
the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"
Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.
Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect
First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.
"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"
"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"
"Go to bed!" me
no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me
WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH
GAVIN BEST BOY EVER
and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus
THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL
I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.
oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)
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spicetdusk · 6 years
Note
Book ask: 1, 2, 4 and 11?
@any-shadow out here being a goddamn BRO, tagging me in ask memes (that I all have saved and will actually answer some day I s w e a r) and actually sending asks when I beg for attention lol. @ my other mutuals, y’all need to step it U P my good dudes!
1. Book you’ve reread the most times? Uhhh probably False Colors by Alex Beecroft. I haven’t read it in around a year now, but I used to read it as often as twice a year! So I’ve probably read it a good, I don’t know, 10-12 times? Hahahaha. If you have even the slightest interest in a historical gay romance set in the Age of Sail, I cannot recommend it enough! It was one of the first gay romances teenage me got my hands on, and I fell instantly in love. It’s very well written (if you’re terrified of it being a technical manual for 18th century sailing ships, I promise it’s not like that at all), heavy on the action/plot and light on the smut, and I just. Adore the characters so much. They try so hard but they’re just??? So gay and dumb??? Plz read it and make fun of- I mean love- them with me?!!
2. Top 5 books of all time?
Oh damn that is. So hard. In no particular order, because choosing five is hard enough do you really think I could rank them too I mean damn:
The aforementioned False Colors by Alex Beecroft.
18th century boat gays are idiots and trip over their feelings a lot and also adventures and sea battles!!
Wraethuthu, by Storm Constantine.
Holy shit, this book BLEW ME AWAY the first time I read it. Technically post apocalyptic but reads and feels like a fantasy. A hermaphroditic race of chaotic neutral disasters gets dragged kicking and screaming through a lot of real fucking hard life lessons. An epic in the truest sense of the word, in which a single person leads and shapes the destiny of their entire race. (Albeit unknowingly, because, you know. Disaster.) I can’t even begin to tell how strongly I feel about this book(s, it’s a series). They’re absolutely incredible. If you read it (or have read it), let me know! Please I’m b e g g i n g you none of my friends have read it and I need to talk about it so FUCKING bad skfjdhsjdjfns. @vampiraptor this is a call out because I swear to god this book was TAILOR MADE for your aesthetic r e a d i t.
The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. LeGuin
Oh man this book. THIS BOOK. Lovingly cradles you in its arms of frankly stunning writing, world development, and deeply compelling characters, and then RIPS YOUR HEART OUT AND STOMPS ON IT. An ambassador is sent to convince a new planet to join an interplanetary coalition, and ends up going on a life changing field trip with one of the locals. Heyyy, the race on this planet is hermaphroditic too! Because fuck the gender binary. This book feels both deeply familiar and deeply strange. It’s not sad like it makes you want to cry, but it’s not exactly happy either. It feels like, what seeing the northern lights for the first time must feel like. Wonder-joy-loneliness-hope-loss-inevitability-awe-change-love. Look I make it sound idiotic okay it’s just that I am bad at feelings and this book makes me feel SO MANY THINGS.
Swordspoint, Ellen Kushner.
In the authors own words, “Bisexuals. With swords.” I could not possibly give a better description or more convincing argument! Some self destructive idiots fall in love (and stab a lot of people) and cause a lot of trouble (by stabbing people) and high society has a lot of Opinions (about stabbing but also other things like chocolate and backroom negotiations). Everyone is a walking talking hot bisexual mess it is GREAT. And the scheming and intrigue is not too convoluted for an oblivious dummy like me, which I appreciate wholeheartedly.
The Captive Prince Trilogy, C.S. Pacat.
Fuck you they are all one book in my head. Also it’s illegal to read just the first one because it ONLY works in the context of the trilogy as a whole and does not stand well on its own. That’s a real law I just looked it up myself, bitch. Anyway, hollllllyy fuck. I could barf emotions about this shit for DAYS. Giant moronic cream puff meets Very Angry Smol, adopts and p r o t e c c s. (“Hey Alyssa do you ever NOT have overwhelming feelings about Captive Prince??”NEVER I AM LITERALLY ALWAYS EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT.)Bar none, the absolute best enemies to friends to lovers I have ever seen. Incredible genuine, organic, and believable. Don’t believe what it sounds like, it’s not a creepy master/slave thing. Don’t trust the first book if you think it seems that way, it’s all just background and setup and it goes in a completely different direction immediately in the second book. Trust me on this okay. Give it a try and I think you’ll fall in love with it too. @vampiraptor can back me up on this, yo. She thought it would be weird and gross until she read it too, aaaand now we cry about how much we love it together ahahaha.
4. What sections of a bookstore do you browse? Generally the adult fantasy/sci-fi, sometimes the adult fiction and/or the young adult fantasy/sci-fi. But always the notebooks. A l w a y s.
11. What non-fiction books do you like if any? In general, I‘m not the type to pick out a nonfiction book for myself. But I’ve enjoyed or at the least found very interesting a lot of books I’ve had to read for classes and such…not that I can remember any specific ones now that I’m thinking about it, of course. Oh wait, yo, @honorthevanishing what was that sweet ass book on monster theory we kept reading excerpts from in DeMarco’s class??? That shit was rad as hell!
Well! That got long fast. Bless you if you read all that lol. I have a l o t of feelings about books can you tell???
(Please hit me up if you’ve read/are a fan of any of my faves p l e a s e I need to talk about them I am s t a r v i n g)
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