cant keep their quadrants straight

an icarus and his sun: chapter 4

A/N: what's this? jimmy may be finally leaving denial station? and gray-aroace jimmy because i said so? hell yeah. also more seablings pog!! i do also have the next chapter written already bc it has one of the scenes that was basically the whole reason i wrote this fic, but i'm gonna wait until tomorrow to post it (mostly bc i wanna make sure i have the chapter after that one written bc of... reasons >:) the next chapter is a tad cliffhanger-y and i just don't want y'all to have to wait too long)

Warnings: teasing/banter, flirting, realization of feelings

AO3 Link - Tumblr Masterpost

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The invitation for the House Blossom Ball arrived, with a separate handwritten note along with it from Katherine that very pointedly reminded Jimmy to dress up and maybe lose the cod head. Something about how it wasn’t “fancy enough” or whatever. Jimmy felt the cod head was acceptable for any occasion, not to mention he felt weird with his whole head being in view- but maybe he could compromise for Katherine. He’d have to figure out some sort of other headpiece… but the ball wasn’t for a few days anyway. Jimmy had plenty of time to figure out an outfit. In the meantime, he had some work to do on his slime farm. And of course, who else should be there but Scott when Jimmy came up from his farm. He was sitting on the roof of the slime farm entrance, legs swinging idly.

“What are you doing here,” Jimmy asked with a tired sigh, really hoping that he wouldn’t have to deal with another fight with Scott. Scott hopped down from the roof, gliding a bit before landing in front of Jimmy.

“Oh same as always, I was bored and you’re fun to bother,” Scott said with a shrug and a playful grin. Jimmy glowered at him, putting his hands on his hips.

“Oh no, not today! I’m not letting you get under my skin anymore!” Jimmy said, determination in his tone. Scott raised an eyebrow as his grin morphed into a smirk, and there was that squirming, fluttery feeling from their fight again.

“Are you sure about that?” Scott crooned, a clear challenge in his voice. Jimmy shut his eyes, taking a deep breath before shifting his expression into something more neutral.

“Absolutely,” he said firmly, walking past Scott towards his base. Scott seemed surprised for a moment, before getting his bearings and following after Jimmy.

"Not even over this?" Scott asked, walking beside Jimmy and tossing something green up in the air before catching it again. Jimmy stopped walking, brows furrowed in confusion. Scott stopped too, looking him in the eyes as he tossed the object again- a slimeball.

"How- where- when did you- where did you get that from?!" Jimmy demanded. The only way people got slime was from his empire.

“Got it from one of your chests- thought you wouldn’t mind,” Scott replied with a shrug, that smirk still irritatingly present on his face.

“I very much do mind! Give that back!” Jimmy demanded, lunging forward to try and grab the slimeball from his hand. Scott darted back, flapping his wings and sending a gush of wind to push Jimmy back.

“You’re gonna have to catch me, fish boy,” Scott teased, before taking off into the sky. Jimmy grit his teeth in frustration.

“I’m the Codfather!” he protested, equipping his elytra and taking off after Scott. Scott laughed, dipping and twirling in the sky while Jimmy struggled to keep up. Going after someone who had actual wings while Jimmy only had an elytra was a definite disadvantage, but Jimmy was a little too stubborn to care. Scott climbed higher into the sky with ease, Jimmy following close after- and then the sun hit Scott’s wings and Jimmy just about fell out of the sky. The sun’s rays caught the gold tips of his wings, making them shimmer. But it wasn’t just the sunshine reflecting off his wings- it was the way Scott’s whole face seemed to shine like the sun with his smile and how the wind ruffled his usually neat hair. It was how his laugh sounded as if the shimmering of gold made a sound. It was how those icy blue eyes sparkled with mirth as he held the slimeball victoriously above his head. It was how Scott’s expression suddenly melted from that of a mischievous trickster to something almost fond. All of those things caused that pleasant flip-flopping feeling in his stomach to return, and Jimmy suddenly pitched down because of it. He quickly righted himself, flushing in embarrassment and glaring at Scott’s resulting smirk.

“Guess you aren’t one of those flying fish, huh,” he teased.

“Just give me the slimeball back!” Jimmy demanded. Scott laughed, and it felt like flowers blooming in Jimmy’s chest.

“You get so fussed over the littlest of things,” he said, still laughing. Jimmy got the feeling that he should have been angry at Scott’s teasing, he was making fun of him, after all! But instead, Jimmy couldn’t help but smile back. To Jimmy’s surprise, Scott seemed startled by that, eyes going wide and a half gasp, half laugh escaping his lips.

“Sometimes you gotta appreciate the little things in life! You miss those things when you fly above everything and live up and away from the world in the mountains,” Jimmy pointed out with a laugh. Scott pondered this, slowly floating back to the ground as he did so. Jimmy tilted his head to the side in confusion, coming to a landing beside him. Scott was staring at the slimeball in his hands with a mix of wonder and bafflement. Shaking his head, Scott reached out for Jimmy’s hand and pressed the slimeball into it, both hands clasping over Jimmy’s hand for a moment. Jimmy’s hand felt fever-warm at Scott’s touch, and his heart hammered in his chest.

“You can have this back. Sorry,” Scott said, quickly withdrawing his hands. Jimmy felt horrible instantly, he clearly struck a nerve with what he said. Before Scott got a chance to leave, Jimmy quickly grabbed his hands, giving the slimeball back.

“Keep it, I’ve got plenty. You- you should enjoy the little things in life too,” Jimmy said softly. Scott’s face tinged pink, all the way up to the tips of his ears.

“I- whatever,” Scott scoffed, trying to bring it back to their teasing back and forth from before, but failing miserably. Before Jimmy had a chance to reply, Scott drew his hands back, holding the slimeball close to his chest and taking off into the sky. This time around, Jimmy didn’t bother chasing after him. He was a little too busy wondering what on earth had just happened. One moment Jimmy was irritated by Scott’s presence, and the next his heart felt all fluttery and he willingly gave him a commodity from his empire. What was happening to him?! Jimmy had a sneaking suspicion… but he had to talk to Lizzie or Joel first. He just had to be sure.

-

Jimmy flew to Lizzie’s empire, spotting her and Joel sitting together on one of her giant lilypads. They both looked at him with concern when he landed in front of them, out of breath. Lizzie was the first to jump to her feet, hands reaching out towards him and searching for any injuries. Joel followed after her and hovered at her side, looking unsure of what to do.

“What happened?! Are you hurt, were you attacked?!” Lizzie demanded, and Joel’s eyes shot to the skies as he put a hand on the hilt of his sword. Jimmy laughed, shaking his head.

“Guys, I’m fine! See, look! I’m all good. Just had to see you,” Jimmy said, holding his arms out to show that he was, in fact, uninjured. Lizzie and Joel breathed out a simultaneous sigh of relief.

“Oh thank goodness. Usually when you fly to one of us in a panic, you’re hurt or being chased, or something’s seriously wrong,” Joel said, the tension draining from his shoulders and hand dropping from the hilt of his sword. Jimmy’s smile turned sheepish.

“Well… something… might be wrong. But there’s something I’ve gotta ask you guys first,” Jimmy replied nervously. Lizzie and Joel exchanged confused glances. Lizzie stepped closer, putting a comforting hand on Jimmy’s shoulder.

“Of course, you can ask us anything,” she said softly. Jimmy took a deep breath, working up the nerve to say it.

“How did you know you were in love?” he asked timidly. Lizzie blinked in surprise, and Joel raised an eyebrow.

“Is this about Scott?” Joel asked. Jimmy’s face flushed in embarrassment.

“Please just answer the question,” he muttered. Thankfully, Joel didn’t seem to be in a teasing mood, and neither did Lizzie.

“For me it was her smile. Gave me butterflies the first time I saw it,” Joel said, unabashedly gazing at Lizzie. She giggled, and Joel’s fond expression increased tenfold.

“Butterflies?” Jimmy asked, a bit confused by the turn of phrase.

“You know, when your stomach gets all squirmy, but not in a bad way? Like a bunch of butterfly wings flapping inside you,” Joel explained, and Jimmy was hit with a sudden burst of clarity. Something in his expression must have shown it, because Lizzie gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze.

“You’re telling me that’s what love feels like? It’s that just… all the time?” Jimmy asked, his voice a little hollow with disbelief. At himself mostly, for not realizing it sooner. To be fair, he didn’t feel those sorts of feelings often. In fact, he felt it almost exclusively with Scott. So to realize this whole time what he had really been feeling wasn’t just hatred or irritation… he felt a little silly.

“Well, it’s not always like that, sometimes being around someone you love just makes you feel warm and cozy,” Lizzie added.

“Well… but I feel warm and cozy all the time with you guys!” Jimmy protested, still trying to deny that feeling just a little bit longer. Lizzie smiled, patient and understanding.

“Yes, but with this… hypothetical someone, it’s different, isn’t it,” she gently prodded. Jimmy finally gave in. It was different with Scott, and that honestly terrified him. He’d never felt this way about anyone, ever.

“Oh my god, I like him,” Jimmy breathed.

“About time you figured it out,” Joel muttered. Lizzie moved her hand from Jimmy’s shoulder to swat Joel’s arm. Jimmy was too busy having a bit of an existential crisis to really care.

“Oh my god I really like him. This whole time- but Scott hates me, what on earth am I supposed to- but he seemed kind of nice today…” Jimmy trailed off, beginning to pace back and forth. Lizzie gasped in excitement, rushing over to stand in front of Jimmy and grabbing his shoulders.

“You saw him today?! Tell. Me. Everything!” she demanded. Jimmy let out a sheepish laugh.

“Nothing really happened! He stole a slimeball from me, I chased him a bit in the sky- and oh god he was gorgeous in the sunlight- and then I said something to make him sad and let him keep the slimeball anyway. I- wow I really didn’t like seeing him sad,” Jimmy rambled, a disbelieving smile growing across his face. Joel made a mock-disgusted face.

“I think I liked it better when Jimmy was in denial, he’s getting all mushy now,” he teased. Lizzie rolled her eyes.

“Don’t listen to him, being mushy is a good look on you,” she insisted, getting a laugh out of Jimmy.

“I’m glad you think so, but maybe Joel is right. Cause now all I can think about is how Scott definitely doesn’t feel the same way,” Jimmy said with a sigh. A determined look came across Lizzie’s face, and distantly Jimmy was a little terrified.

“Oh no, you’ve activated her plotting look,” Joel said with the same distant terror that Jimmy was feeling.

“The ball is the perfect time to change Scott’s mind and show him that you are a catch, you’ve said so yourself,” Lizzie explained with a grin.

“Oh no, that is not happening, I just want the ball to be something fun, I don’t wanna make a scene,” Jimmy protested, but it came out a little weak.

“Us? Make a scene? Never. I was just thinking that we make sure to get you a snazzy outfit!” Lizzie said, and while Jimmy didn’t trust her for a second, he could concede that Lizzie had a better sense of style than he did.

“Oh, alright. As long as it’s just that,” Jimmy said firmly.

“Of course!” Lizzie said, far too innocently. Jimmy just chuckled and shook his head.

“And we should probably do something fancier than the cod head,” Joel added. Jimmy sighed, putting a hand over the cod head.

“Yeah, yeah, Katherine mentioned that too,” Jimmy said with a pout.

“Don’t worry, you’re in good hands!” Lizzie chirped, releasing Jimmy’s shoulders to instead grab his arm and pull him to where she and Joel had been sitting, rambling about outfit ideas all the while. Jimmy couldn’t help but smile and be a tiny bit hopeful. Maybe wearing something nice would catch Scott’s eye… but then what? Happily ever after? Was that how love even worked? Whatever the case, he was sure Lizzie would have a plan for that too. And maybe the ball could be the start of something beautiful.

-

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Top 10 Sealab 2021 Episodes (Comission)

Happy 2021 Everyone! After an utterly AWFUL fucking year, it’s nice to be in a brand new year with brand new possiblities, new projects you’ll see soon, finsihing the old.. and all that good stuff. And good friend of the blog and only patron and contributer kev had a great suggestion to comission to kick off the year. Since it’s 2021 it’s only fair ot honor one of the very first adult swim shows, one taking place in the same year and still one of it’s funniest and fucking weirdest, and as we’ve seen that threshold is vast: Sealab 2021 Sealab was created by the wonder twins of Adam Reed and Matt Thomspon, and if those names sound familiar.. that’s because their the guys who created Frisky Dingo, a cult classic i’ll defintely have to write about someday soon, and more famously and in Matt’s case still to this day, Archer. Yup, after adult swim jerking them around lead to the closing of their initial studio, the two moved to FX and here they are. So yeah this is where the roots of a lot of archers workplace shenanigans and petty dickery come from.  But even ignoring what it’d lead to, Sealab on it’s own is pretty damn good and holds up pretty well. Some jokes.. have not aged well, especially the treatment of Debbie as the villiage bicycle, but on the whole most of the humor is just really funny, really weird and really insane and I still love it after this revisit even if some episodes didn’t hold up so good, most of them held up good or even better than I remembered.  The show was THE first abriged series, taking bits of old forgotten and seemingl really damn boring hannah barbara show sealab 2021, and using the footage to tell the tale of a bunch of assholes, weirdos and what have you running an underwater research station.. and being so bad at it or getting into such other insane bollocks it often blew up. Continuity was loose, jokes were the priority, and dialouge was key since the animation was not great in any way shape or form, but the cheapness was enough of a charm and improved enough with time that it didn’t really matter. The show was good and set the bar for adult swim shows for better or worse alongside other greats like Home Movies, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and others. It also had a unique cast of mostly small time actors, and bafflingly one respected news pundit as local asshole idiot head Stormy, and broadway legend Henry Goz as series MVP Captain Murphy. It was good, it was part of my childhood and teen years, and I love it so. I bought the dvds, quoted it decently and will again now Kev’s brought my fire for the series back.  So naturally for a series like this since regular reviews just don’t.. work on something this insane sometimes, i’m instead counting down my top. 10 . episodes. Yes top 10 lists are comissionable, 5 bucks a pop. As long as I know the series well enough i’d be glad to and here I ws more than honored to. I also uped my game this time and rewatched every cantidate and thus I feel this may be one of my best lists yet. So without further adeu... grab your grizzlbees oninon burst , your bebop cola and your pitcher of whale cancer. this is the top 10 episodes of sealab 2021!

10. Tinfins  This one’s a classsic just for it’s uniquness, taking the piss out of glitzy and vapid hollywood insider shows and their annoying hosts, while also being delightfully weird, from mocking the show’s own animation by having detailed cgi used to map the limited animation, to Erik Estrada’s interview where his fictional self is clearly having none of toni and is also clearly getting wasted, to the utter bizzarity of Kid N Play being the films directors.. it’s just a good time. 

But what REALLY makes the episode are two things: The first is a series of increasingly bizzare commericals for Grizzlebees, a fictional restraunt that would become a staple of the show: From a simple commerical showing off their onion bursts, to their kids meals with tonic water, to Henry Goz’s utterly bizzare farm based commerical for it, to finally a commerical about depression being okay because grizzlebee delivers that’s pitch black as it is utterly hilarious, it’s just one hit after the other.  The crown jewel of the episode of course is the trailer ofr tinfins itself, which is insane and includes great bit after great bit, the best being the titular mecha shark cutting the power “How the hell can it cut the power? It’s a shark. “ Holy Crap indeed. 

9. In the Closet A bottle episode, which Sealab really excelled at and not the last on this list by a mile, as the show’s key was it’s dialouge the episode had a simple premise it quickly managed to have make some pretty insane turns. Marco, played by the glorious Eric Estrada and Muprhy, played by the late and very game Harry Goz, have been trapped in the suply closet for a few days, with Muprhy, being muprhy, having already married a bucket who has a history as a “Hookermop” named wendy. Soon other sealabians get caught inside too, and it results in plenty of hilarious gags, From muprhy sucker punching the hell out of everyone, to Sparks panicking under claustrophiba, to the repair guy getting sucker punched and no one caring much about his well being. This one lives off of Muprhy as while the others are good, Goz as he usually did during his time on this earh and on this series before his untimely passing, steals the whole damn show, and the ending, where it turns out Muprhy adopted and starved a bunch of fighting dogs, is a nice twist on everything. And the punchilne to it is utterly fantastic “It could be worse” “How in the hell could it possibly worse?!” “We could be out there.. with Stormy”. 

8. The Legend of Baggy Pants Speaking of Bottle Episodes and Captain Murphy being awesome.... this one narrowly beat out the episode it’s a spirtual sequel too, the classsic all that jazz, but this one is easily better. Like that one it’s a bottle episode that’s almost entirely just Captain Muprhy on some sort of shenanigan, with only abit of other cast, in this case Hesh, Eggers, and an unfortunate phone operator. In this case the premise is simple, kind of nuts, and utterly hilarious and utterly captian murphy: Captain Muprhy is having a round of Golf in Sealab, which is weird but fits the character but what ratchets it up to funny is apparently this underwater research station, for no reason, has a pro shop. So after loosing his last ball in a reactor, and sending poor hesh in to get it leading to the advent of the glorious Monster Hesh, Muprhy spends the entire episode tooling around in his “Muprh Mobile” trying to find the pro shop. As a result it’s basically 11 glorious minutes of Harry Goz going absolutely mental as muprhy, and it is as great as that sounds. From Muprhy’s sudden hatred of pod 6, to his bullying of Eggers, a hapless sealabian he runs into and then tries to run over, his bullying of dolphin boy and then trying to run him over, to his compuance as eggers steals his stuff and then his muprh mobile, it’s just glorious riffing from one of the best in the buisness and Harry is still deeply fucking missed by yours truly. RIP you magificent stalion. 

7. Cavemen One of the series final episodes, and easily one of it’s best. While the later Seasons get some flack. While season 3 is a bit weak,a s Goz’ tragic passing left them stumbling, Season 4/5... it’s complicated, is REALLY damn good and has some of the series finest episodes which many probably never saw. Case in point, Cavemen.  Cavemen is another spirtual sequel this time to lost in time, which also didn’t make the list, but this one is also better. Like LIT, it focuses on one of the series best dynamics: Brainy super scientest and often only sane man Dr. Quinn and all around idiot, moron and bane of everyone’s existance, Stormy, played by Brett Butler and Ellis Henican, both of who nail the two and this episode. The two are trapped in a cave after Stormy’s stupidity blew up sealab, and his trail of dead rabbits lead a shark to him and quinn. The result is a TON of great back and forth as Stormy tries to make Quinn see him as his best friend, Quinn rightfully shouts at Stormy for... everything, and Stormy tries to show off some ancient cave painting she himself made, that quinn quickly figures out because he left his paint around, and shows that off in a very clever gag I can’t convey correctly here. We also get knife fights and Quinn beating stormy over the head with a dead rabbit, an da surprisingly solem ending where the two hold hands as they die before heading up to heaven for a happy and weird ending. Overall an episode that’s really hard to dive into as it’s just relaly damn good and all in the performances, gags and pacing, as it’s done entirely in real time. Easily worth a watch. 

6. Shrabster Another great late season episode and another really experimental one. This one’s told from back to front, then we’re given the ending. It ends up working really well as it not only jacks up interest but the story itself is great. Asj it ends up turning out over the episode Dr. Quinn’s created the solution to world hunger: The shrabster, a hybrid of crab, shrimp and lobster. Grizzlebees, naturally wants it and after finding out Sparks didn’t actually own the rights, have Shanks, muprhy’s replacement, try and steal it, only for him to fall in love with the creature and spirit it away to give it a better life.. before shooting it in the end and eating it himself. We also get some good runners as Sparks starts speaking in slang and gets his neck rightfully snapped for it by Quinn, Stormy keeps eating shellfish despite being allergic, and we get the glory that is dan and don, two grizzlebees reperceives played by reed and thompson who are just an utter delight. I also ALMOST forgot the fucking announcer whose just fucking hilaroius the whole damn time with his various segways. 

5. HappyCake An early classic and damn worthy with a simple, batshit premise, which as should be clear by now was Sealab’s Bread and Butter. Muprhy’s happycake oven has been stolen, so he sends Stormy (who knows about the captain’s bedwetting and thus must be silenced) Quinn and a fishman out to find it in the ocean. Turns out it’s Sparks, in a character defining episode, fault as he’s working on world domination, and thus is working on driving murphy insane and thus stole it. He and marco discuss Marco becoming his henchman and getting metal teeth, Muprhy goes nuts, it’s a damn good time. Also a lot of talk of Michael Cain so that’s always a plus now I know who he is. And of course it has one of the series best lines period “Pudding can’t help the void inside” but it’ll help. Only this low because i’ts a bit structually messy compared to what’s to come and given it beat out two really damn good structurally episodes for this slot, that should say something. 

4. Hail Squishface! No best of list would be complete without this one. Once again the show banks itself on a simple premise: Captain Muprhy buys a white blob, a gloop, from a vendor and gives it liquor and gremlins style his little buddy multiplies and he soon gives them out to the crew. Everyon’es on board except Quinn.. whos naturally proven right ot be suspicious as the gloops methane output will doom them all and only muprhy, whose gone insane and is wearing squishface like a fez as you’d expect, wants them alive leading to what you’d expect: a flamethrower battle between muprhy and the crew with murphy decked out like a transformer.  This one’s just endlessly creative, from the various glooptransformations to the finale to the gags, i’ts just great. The fart gags are also.. actually pretty funny, which given i’m not a fart gag guy most of the ttime, speaks to how well executed they are and use the gags of htem being fart machines. Also we get muprhy in a fez and that alone cements it as top 5 matieral.. but as for the top 3. 

3. Moby Sick

Our last late season entry and the third to last episode of the show ever, this is top 3 for a reason, even above a classic like Hail Squishface. This one just has so many insane jokes packed in I forget quite a few despite them all being pretty damn great.  The premise is dour: A whale named Avalard shows up in Sealab wanting to die, as he has whale cancer. Stormy recognizes him as the star of the show “Gotta Have that Dick”, even saying “I gotta have that dick!”.. which of course they have a loop of ellis saying in the credits he correctly assumes will haunt him for the rest of his days. And if a whale starring in a cheesy 90′s tgif sitcom wasn’t enough we get the best gag of the episode as Marco eats some of avalard’s whale cancer leading to an insnae kool aid style add

And of course Marco later puts on a Mayor F Whale outfit and eats the cancer.. and his way out of avalard. But before that we get fights over wether the whale should die or not, including the guy on the pro whale side stabbing him, Debby’s rambling nosense and Shanks, who first builds a wooden whale to put his brain in .. that promptly sinks “and all my puppies were in there!” and then goes on a far right pundit show and gets into a giant robot phsyical challenge.. which frankly we need more of. Tucker Carlson would be .0001 percent more tolerbale if he were getting his ass kicked in a gundam is what i’m saying. 

2. Feast of Alvis I’ll be brief here, which in an article where i’m already trying to be brief says a lot but since I JUST covered this one a few weeks ago for my best holiday special lists: Feast of Alvis is, like most of sealab, deeply creative, deeply batshit and deply fun as Muprhy pushes his violent frontier version of jesus on everyone, with predicably great results. I watch it every year for damn good reason, it has some of the series best gags, including “Cram a penny o nthere” And great satire about the supposed “War on christmas”. I’m only being so breif as I said pretty much all I had to say last time. Exxcept this: Adam Reed is a DAMN talented voice actor both as virjay (though in hindishgt he REALLY shoudln’t of been playing a hindu man, especially since otherwise the series actually cast poc), and in various rolls and kills it as alvis here. So what could top one of my faviorites? Wellll.

1. Chickmate Another early one and as should be clear the best. It incapsulates the series the best, has the funniest jokes packed into it’s 11 minutes and in general is just an outstanding episode that throughly defined the cast and their rolls and chemistry.  Debbie’s biological clock is ticking and she wants to have a baby, and after mothering a dolphin dosen’t help decides one of the sealab men will be the father and auditions them. It goes as well as you’d expect: Muprhy thought she’d become his mommy, and not in a kinky way, Sparks provides one of the series best gags by giving her a modest proposal by jonathan twist and giving us the utter black comedy joy of him describing “ribs dripping off the bone”, Stormy’s tape gets interrupted by Hesh who clasically screams “Hesh wants some sex”, Marco freaks her out with his muscles and quinn seems sucessful before ultimately botching it and Debbie decides none of htem are worth it. We also get stormy’s untieontally racist and throughly stupid use of the term “Black debbie” to describe the other debbie, which he gets rightfully called out on. We also get this exchange as a result Quinn: What if everyone started calling you white stormy? Stormy: You mean there’s a .. black stormy Quinn: (Beat to take in the stupidity) no. 

It’s funny, it’s clever, and it’s just damn fun. Easily the series best outing and the reason it became what it became. And overall.. the series is just really good. it’s on HBO Max if your curious, and if you haven’t vistied that lab underneath the sea. maybe i’ts time to. Goodbye, Goodbye, goodbye for now, until then.. play us out marco and debbie. 

Petri dish - Scriddler

Furious screams and a wild stream of insults sobered Jonathan from his almost catatonic state. Two guards dragged a newcomer through the bright corridors of the asylum. The man struggled and flailed but he was powerless, while held in their iron grasp. Scarecrow opened one, bloodshot eye, his ears always eager to listen to the sweet sounds of despair that other inmates often emitted within the welcoming walls of Arkham. As the guards showed the man to the cell in front of his own, Jonathan took a good look at his new neighbor. Short, light brown hair, wide forehead, average-sized, and a high-pitched, annoying voice – it was Edward Nigma – the riddle-guy who had hacked the GCPD database, blackmailed the city hall and pissed off the Bat. Crane had seen him before but it looked like Nigma had had an encounter with Batman again, and judging by his bruises, it hadn't ended up too well. “Listen to me, you brain-dead dullards,” Nigma shouted at the guards through the glassy wall of his solitary cell, trying and failing to get their attention. “...you know I'm right, even a simpleton like you should be able to see that! Batman cheated! I don't know how he did it but I'm going to find out!” He slammed his fists into the glass, his voice now distant but still weakly echoing through the otherwise silent corridor. “I will expose this fake hero-wannabee! Can you hear me? I'm not a villain – HE IS!!!” Scarecrow smiled internally, this sounded like the beginning of a first-hand object lesson on the psychology of a delusional, egotistical, clinically narcissistic patient. A truly delightful combination of mental disorders squeezed together into this one, fragile-looking body. It almost surprised him, how much hatred and passion a single man could contain.

Scarecrow's night was passing accompanied by Nigma's shouts, bragging and wailing as the background noise. It was going on for so long that after some time Jonathan grew tired of the repetitive theme of Batman being the evil offender, and his mind slowly started to produce quite vivid images of multiple ways to shut Nigma up – one of them included getting him drawn down the toilet. It was a good three hours since his capture when Edward finally ran out of steam and his tantrum died off – or perhaps Valium he had surely been given, had kicked in only now. Motionless like a stuffed doll on a field of hay, Scarecrow observed his neighbor through the glass, noticing how the nervous pacing stopped along with the screams. Nigma sat down on his cot, leaning against the wall. A few minutes later his body slid down on the mattress and he was already sleeping, one hand hanging from the bed. “Lesson one is over,” Jonathan thought, not without some relief. Maybe he could try to get some rest, too? He closed his tired eyes but his chronic insomnia got in his way yet again, leaving him sleepless till the morning. The next day, the pattern repeated itself – Nigma woke up highly energetic, paced up and forth, talking to himself, insulting every guard or doctor unfortunate enough to pass by his cell. His loud and constant rambling soon escalated into a full-out outburst of psychotic yelling about Batman's stupidity, which by the evening left Nigma with a sore throat and ended with the Arkham staff dosing him with more tranquilizers so he crashed on his cot like a roadkill on asphalt. It went exactly the same way for the next two days, and all that time Nigma didn't bother to notice that Crane was watching him from the safe distance of his own cell. So far the obnoxious man had made no attempt to interact with Scarecrow, which was surprising, because the psychological profile that Jonathan was able to put together based on his observations, clearly suggested that this individual sought any form of attention he could get. Yet, Edward acted like Crane didn't exist. Or perhaps in his self-centred psychosis, Nigma really didn't see him?

-#-

In the afternoon of day four of his research on Riddler, Scarecrow was waiting for the nurse who was bringing food rations to the patients every day at 2 p.m., disposing it by putting a plastic tray through a small hole in the metal door of each cell. He didn't trust the Arkham food but he enjoyed those little moments when he could decide to make some sudden movement and scare the living hell out of the poor nurse. Or he could very well just stand next to the glass, staring the nurse down with his cold, professional gaze. That method of intimidation tended to work even better on some of his test subjects. The best thing was, he didn't have to choose beforehand, he was free to just go with it as the situation progressed. As he stood there, waiting patiently, he spotted Nigma doing the same. Their eyes met from across the bright-lit corridor and it was the first time the riddle-man really spared him a moment of his attention. Crane took a good look at Edward's face – the face of someone who was still youthful, still untouched by the true horror that Arkham surely was. And even if one could probably call Nigma's features quite handsome, there was this look in his dark-blue eyes – the look of pure disgust that didn't make him look attractive at all. It made him look like someone who loathed everyone and everything around him. Jonathan would have felt offended by being stared down like that by some arrogant wannabee villain, if only he had cared. Luckily for Nigma, he didn't. The night after that event brought an unexpected, new development. Scarecrow was pretending to be asleep, as he usually did, when his ears picked up some commotion in the cell across the corridor. It was Nigma – turning over on his bed, talking in his sleep. Jonathan rolled his restless eyes. Was all that talking during the daytime not enough for this man? It was about 90 minutes since the riddle-man had fallen into his slumber, and he already must have entered his REM phase, having an uneasy time in his subconscious. Intrigued and ready to take more mental notes on Riddler's case, Doctor Crane got up from his cot and silently walked toward the glass, leaning in so close that his breath now created fog on its glossy surface. He watched as Nigma flailed his legs as if running from something or someone. He heard him mumbling incoherent rubbish, it was hard to recognize the words since 3 inches of bullet-proof glass, and the corridor separated them. Whatever sounds managed to go through the small air-holes in the glassy wall and right into Scarecrow's ears, they reminded him of a strangled “No, please!” and filled his dark soul with joy. “Night terrors,” he nodded to himself with appreciation, clinging to the glass like a fish in a tank. “How interesting.” It seemed like the stay in Arkham, or perhaps the latest encounter with the Bat had taken some toll on Mr. Nigma after all. “Just perfect.” He was eager to see which direction the nightmare was going but soon enough something changed in his test subject's behavior. The thrashing about stopped, Riddler's movements were reduced to simply rolling his head on the thin, sweat-soaked pillow. His moans went a note higher and gained a strange hint of despair and frustration. It didn't sound like a bad dream anymore, Scarecrow was confused, yet he was still staring at the man wriggling on his bed in some sort of not-so-unpleasant struggle. It was hard to tell for sure, especially in the dim light of the asylum after the 'lights-out', but Jonathan could swear he saw Nigma rocking his hips, his body twitching involuntarily with a short, intensive spasm. “So it's an erotic dream after all,” Doctor Crane mused, not even considering to look away. The elevated heart rate, increased blood pressure and muscle tension – it was quite amusing how the human body responded with symptoms of arousal to both fear and desire. The second one might not be related to his actual field of research but a true scientist should be open to all given opportunities to learn more about the subject. He wasn't given enough time to fully feed his scientific curiosity. Riddler suddenly gasped loudly, and his body shook with a violent convulsion. He woke up, Scarecrow knew that, whatever dream he had – it was over. Now, Nigma just laid there, trying to recollect, probably going through the mental pictures stored in his brain again and again. It didn't take long before Jonathan registered a slight movement on the other side once again. Edward shifted his position, making himself more comfortable on the bed, spreading his legs and pulling the thin, cotton bed cover over his lower body. His hands slid under the cover, Scarecrow didn't see well but he could easily imagine them roaming up and down the body, probably unzipping the orange jumpsuit or just exploring the still sensitive skin. Soon enough, a small patch on Riddler's cover started to rise and fall rhythmically, in a way that left very little to anyone's imagination. “He is really going to do this,” Doctor Crane hummed to himself in disbelieve. With all the cameras inside their cells, and with a reputation to maintain, that was a rather bold decision. Or perhaps this was just the compulsion of a madman? He had taken Nigma for more than just a man of basic instincts but then again, as a scientist, he knew that there was no escaping from being controlled by your hormones when triggered. The dream must have gotten the riddle-man good, leaving him hard and in need of release. No wonder the man was now moaning into his sleeve, covering his mouth with his left arm, while his right was steadily working on his erect member. “He is ready to pleasure himself in front of a camera. In front of me...” The thought intrigued Jonathan, he felt a shadow of a smile creeping over his long, hollow face. “A lack of shame,” he added to his internal list of symptoms of Nigma's mental illness. “Possible dissociative personality disorder – further research needed.” Edward did not finish yet, his right hand moving at a frenetic pace under the layer of his white cover. His hips were grinding for a fast release as he thrust into his own palm. At some point, his legs kicked the bed cover away, exposing him to the cold night air. Crane licked his dry, narrow lips, watching the show with anticipation. He didn't see the details but he could tell it was close now. A few seconds later, the body on the cot arched like a cane and a muffled moan reached Scarecrow's ears, he greeted it with mild amusement. The show was over and it ended rather predictably, Jonathan was about to retreat to his own cot when all of a sudden Riddler's eyes snapped open and the man perked up his head, catching Crane staring right at him. In the red hue of Arkham’s nightlights, Nigma's eyes seemed to be burning like a true hellfire. Scarecrow boldly stared into that flame, not even trying to turn his head away. He knew that the very moment they dared to lock their eyes in such an intimate situation, it automatically became a challenge – whoever looked away first, would admit his defeat and take the shameful blame. A dreadful, bloodcurdling female scream, coming from somewhere deep inside the asylum, shattered the tense, little moment they shared and made Edward instinctively look into that direction. Jonathan sighed, he was sure it was Zsasz going on one of his night escapades again. And if he was right, it meant an emergency lock-down and general havoc – no time to play mind-games with Edward. Casting one last look at his disheveled neighbor, Scarecrow caught Nigma quickly zipping up his jumpsuit and fixing his bed-sheets like nothing had ever happened. Before the alarm turned on, he returned to his spartan bed, getting back to his well-taught motionless position against the wall. He would continue in his research on Riddler tomorrow, he still had the time for that, tonight however, he could rejoice in the panic that was sure to spread through the madhouse any minute now.

10 Things I Hate About You [04]

Summary: Based on the RomCom ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ we follow the reader as she tries to win over Bucky Barnes so his best friend can finally go on a date. Entry for @arrowsandmixtapes​ RomCom Challenge

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (f) & Steve Rogers x Maria Hill

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 1.5k

AN: Last one, guys. Hope you enjoy :) ♥

Masterlist

There have been a few curious looks from the group of recruits Nat trains on Monday afternoon, some of the hushed conversation reaching you where you sit against the wall. They wonder why you’re here and he’s not, because did something happen to him? Did you guys have a fight? They always knew you were a bitch anyway. You’re about to tell them to stop it, but then Nat does it for you and so you’re once again left alone with your thoughts. 

Because did you really think he’d show up for your training session after what happened yesterday? Of course not. 

Still, here you are, waiting until the two hours you’d normally spend training together are over, like some sort of act of penance. Not that it’ll do you any good, but you’ve always been a bit of a martyr and so this suits you just fine. 

Nat has offered to go talk to him, explain him that this was all her idea and that while it maybe started out as a project for you, you ended up really liking him. You doubt it’ll do any good and so you’ve told her not to bother after you made her promise that Maria gets to ask Steve out on a date, because you really want to at least have one good thing come out of this. 

A quick glance at your watch tells you your two hours are finally up and so you push yourself up with a sigh, ready to head back to your room. You run into Maria in the locker room but she just smiles at you, knowing it’s best to leave you alone right now. 

Tony has you working on translating some French documents and so that takes your mind off of things for a while. The work is boring and not really what you signed up for when you joined, but at least you’re doing your part and he seems genuinely happy when you hand him the translated files already Wednesday afternoon. He doesn’t make you leave his office until you’ve pinky-promised him you’ll come to his party on Saturday and you wonder just how much he knows about what’s going on between you and Bucky. Probably everything, you think, because that’s just the way things work around here.

By Thursday morning you’ve decided to change your tactics and so you set out on an active search to find Bucky, hoping he’s calmed down enough to let you tell your side of the story. The compound is big and so it takes you a couple of hours to make you rounds but you still can’t find him. You wonder if he’s purposely avoiding you or if he really isn’t here. 

It isn’t until you run into Pepper and she informs you he’s picking up supplies with Sam somewhere in Canada that you start to worry this might never get resolved. On your question if they’ll be back by Saturday comes an evasive answer from Pepper and so you’re still not in the best of moods when the big night’s finally here.

You’re in a corner somewhere, nursing some Asgardian liquor Thor told you would help take your mind off of things even though all you’re experiencing so far is feeling a little light-headed. You’re watching the crowds, smiling when you see Steve and Maria talking, heads close together, her hand on his forearm. At least that worked out, you think to yourself,  your smile turning into a frown then when you scan the room but still don’t see Sam or Bucky, a quiet, “Fuck,” escaping you. 

“Can you at least try to look as if you’re enjoying yourself?” 

“Can you at least try to mind your own fucking business,” you bite back at her, before taking a sip of your drink. It burns in your throat but you don’t really care because why would you?

“Ooh, see that, there,” Nat says with a grin, “Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?”

“I’m glad you think this is funny,” you mutter. You’re not being fair and you know it, but still. It feels good to blame someone other than yourself for this shitshow. 

“I told you I’d take care of, didn’t I?” She says, bumping her shoulder against yours before she takes a sip of her drink. 

“Nat,” you whine, “I told you not to.”

She scoffs, “Like I’d listen to you.” A nod of her head then, “There’s someone waiting for you on the balcony.”

You follow her gaze and your heart skips a beat, because there he is. “Shit,” you mutter quietly. Your voice a little louder then, as you turn to her, “What makes you think he’d even listen to me?”

“Because I told him to,” she says matter-of-factly. She takes your glass from you and gently pushes you forward, “Go.” 

Taking a deep breath you cross the room, focused only on him even though you see Maria laugh at something Steve says out of the corner of your eye. You remember something then and so you stop at the bar, helping yourself to two bottles of beer from the fridge that you open before you continue. You hesitate when you get to the door, but then it’s like your body has a mind of its own and before you realize it you’re stepping outside, standing next to him, “Hi.”

“Hey,” 

“I still owed you that beer,” you say as you hold out a bottle to him, your voice a little high-pitched because fuck, you’re actually nervous.  

He takes it but doesn’t say anything and you start to think this has been a mistake. But no, you want to at least try and you really have nothing to lose, so you turn towards him, clearing your throat before you start, “I’m sorry.” 

He just nods.

“Someone asked me to take this really great guy out on a date,” 

“Is that right?”

“Yeah,” you step in front of him now, looking up at him, surprised when he locks eyes with you and he doesn’t look as mad as you expected him to be. “I screwed up. I uh-,” you try to smile, “I fell for him. But I think he ended up hating me.” Biting your lip you look down, waiting for, well, you’re not sure what. 

“I don’t hate you.” His voice is barely above a whisper and you’re not sure you’ve heard him right, but then his finger’s under your chin, making you look up at him, “I don’t. I hated what you did, but,” he smiles then, nodding towards where Steve and Maria are seated, “I guess it was for a good cause. And I realized I probably would have done the same for Steve.”

“Oh, thank God,” you whisper, a sigh of relief then, a little disappointed when he lets his hand drop.

“I still think you owe me a beer though,” he says with a grin, before he finishes the one he has in his hand.

“More than one, I’d say,” you offer. Then, a little braver than you feel, but fuck it, “There are some cold ones in my fridge if you wanna get out of here.”

He throws his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close, his voice low when he says, “Thought you’d never ask.”

EPILOGUE

You find him in the garage, bits and pieces from a motorbike he’s restoring spread out on the floor and on the workbench he’s standing at. He looks focused and so you wait until he’s finished tinkering with one particular piece until you greet him.

He wipes his hands on a piece of cloth before he turns to you, hands cupping your face before he brushes his lips against yours, “Hey.”

Smiling into the kiss you sneak one hand into his hair and pull him closer, opening your mouth just enough for him to bite your lip. You moan and his hands move to your hips, lifting you onto the workbench with ease. Parting your legs so he can stand between them he you feel him press against you and you know you’ll be making your way upstairs soon. You pull back ever so slightly, making him groan at the loss of contact, but you just smile, “I have something for you.” 

“Is it better than what we were doing?” He looks at you intently, “Otherwise I’d much rather just go back to that.” 

“Here,” you say, ignoring his comment. You hand him the package and watch as he carefully unwraps it. His eyes light up when he turns the frame around and sees the picture that’s inside.

“How did you get this?”

“I asked nicely,” you say with a shrug, watching him as he studies the picture that until yesterday was hanging on the wall at the pub he took you to on what you consider to have been your first date. 

“Thank you,” 

“Happy one-year anniversary, babe,” you say before your grab his shirt and pull him close, your lips ghosting over his, “Love you.” 

“Love you too.”

- FIN - 

Firebending Colors

Just a random dumb idea I got... But what if the fire that firebenders produced was colored depending on their personality and mental state? Like the reason why they primarily use orange fire in canon is because firebenders are basically just generating normal fire, but IDK what if the flames were just a little more mystical than that?

Here are some thoughts I came up with-

Ozai produces blood red fire because of his hateful and bloodthirsty nature. Or an alternative is that he produces black fire because his heart is pretty much a black hole. More seriously, his flames look like the void because he is empty on the inside.

Iroh produces gold fire, he is loving and loyal to those around him and genuinely tries to make the world a better place the only way he knows how.

Azula produces icy blue fire, she's cold and calculating, putting trust and love into no one. She only cares about two things, power and pleasing her father. When she looses her mind, her fire shifts to a dull purple-red color. When Azula first produced flame, it was pale gold and changed as she grew. (Take this as you will.)

Zuko's fire is reddish-orange with golden flecks due to him being a good soul but damaged and very angry. Zuko's flame slowly shifts to solid gold the closer he gets to redemption. At the crossroads of destiny though, his fire turns blood red when he betrays Katara and his uncle. His flames slowly shift to black as he gets closer to losing himself and becomes a dull red when he initially joins the Gaang. He only gains his gold flames when he relearns from the dragons. When Zuko was a child, his flames were pale gold.

Sozin originally produced golden fire, but it shifted to blood red as he turned towards conquest. In the time shortly before his death, his flames became a dim gold once again as he realized his mistakes but also that it was too late to fix them.

Azulon produced cobalt blue flames. He wasn't exactly a warm and cuddly guy.

Jeong Jeong's fire is a sickly green. He hates his bending and considers it to be a curse.

Aang's flames are a soft pink due to his joyful and gentle nature. However, is flames turn black and smoke-like when he burns Katara and begins to fear his firebending.

Roku's flames started out gold like Sozin's, but slowly lost their color and turned white as he took on the role of Avatar.

Kyoshi's fire was a golden orange. She was a strong believer in justice, but also was the type to wait and listen before striking.

Kuruk's flames were a slightly greenish sea blue due to his relaxed nature.

Yang Chen generated silver fire that had a ghostly quality about it.

Dragons produce opalescent fire.

The eternal flame looks like a burning swath of the night sky. Stars and all.

The Sun Warriors being as close as they are to the dragons, all produce opal-like fire.

Shyu is the only fire sage who still produces gold fire, the rest produce blood red fire.

Firebenders with corrupted firebending(a majority of them during the war) produce either blood red flame or sickly green flame due to them drawing from hatred and anger.

In the avatar state, the Avatar’s flames take on the appearance of the night sky.

Okay, and now what kind of fire would these characters produce if they could firebend, or AU firebenders~

Jet produces a sickly green flame, as he rejects fire and all that it symbolizes.

Katara's flame starts out black, as she's terrified of it and what it means. When she learns to stop fearing the fire it shifts to purple to show off her intense, passionate nature.

Toph produces steel grey flames, she's tough, but repressed.

Sokka's fire would be dark purple with sickly green mixed in. Not only does he not really believe in this nonsense, but he also desperately rejects his fire, causing it to look like a burning bruise. It turns a brilliant, silvery blue when he learns to accept his inner fire, representing his intelligence and good soul.

When Suki first started to produce fire it was pitch black, and turned a dark purplish color as she tried to keep it a secret. She initially deeply resents and horribly fears her fire, it turns a brilliant fuchsia with red flecks to represent her warrior spirit when she learns to accept it.

I have an AU(that I have not posted huehuehue) where Aang is mind-wiped and believes he's just a normal firebender. So for this, his fire would be a dark, shimmering purple with golden flecks. He knows that something is wrong with his flames, but cannot figure out what.

The Dai Lee produce emerald green flames with a black base. Their leader, Long Feng makes dark green fire.

Foaming-At-The-Mouth-Guy produces flames that keep shifting in color. No one really knows why, but it's weird. It gets bolder and more colorful the more excited he gets.

I would do this for other bending forms, but firebenders are the only ones that conjure their element. abhadbjhdbfjhwberfjhes *flips table*

Hello. Please share your thoughts about the latest couple of chapters/Zeke's backstory.

Not gonna lie, this probably one of the most emotional chapters I’ve read in a while.  I’ve been asking for a Zeke-centric chapter that would explain his motives and we got it in the classical heartbreaking fashion that this series is known to dish out.  AND it includes an explosive cliffhanger that Michael Bay would be proud of and make a good portion of the fandom look at a panel at 200% zoom and contrast change for 3 days.

I think the last time I talked about Zeke on this blog, I mentioned that I believe there is a chance Zeke is being genuine with working on Eldia’s side, but it wasn’t yet clear how much he wanted to include Paradis in the fruits of his potential “free the people” plan.  Yeah, so, things have changed obviously.  But not as drastically as I was led to believe after chapter 112.  By ch113, I figured there was more to the story with Zeke, since it seemed that his intentions for escaping was based on a time restraint and the fact he couldn’t trust Levi in the end.  Fortunately for his fans and unfortunately for Zeke, Levi’s plot armor saved him this time.  Only for fate to be teased once more!  Ugh!

I’m going to give a few super brief hot takes that I posted before but Tumblr decided to throw it into the abyss the first time.  This is going to be the least analytical and organized list I’ve ever written so be kind:

Finally, a flashback chapter of the most mysterious guy in this series

…AND HE’S CUTE!?

Oh my god.

Grisha and Dina are not the worst parents nor bad people but hell if they aren’t misguided, radical, and negligent of their only son.

This gives me middle school flashbacks.

I didn’t expect Zeke to suck at military training, to be honest.  They really did just call him a child prodigy for his miracle abilities and the fact he betrayed his parents.

Which I don’t entirely blame him anymore…if it wasn’t his free decision, he was influenced by a replacement nurturing parental figure to do it.  Ouch.

I was mad when these spoilers came out but now it makes sense why this is Zeke’s motive.

I’m pretty confident Eren is double crossing Zeke now.

Zeke is not dead.  Levi is not dead.  Splash text is clickbait.

I don’t even think Levi lost any arms, but we won’t know until 2 or 3 chapters from now.  Hope he knows how to swim!

For wordy rambling, please read on--

As most of the fandom assumed, this chapter was going to be primarily a flashback containing Zeke’s childhood.  And it’s a heavy reveal that spirals into his present-day motives.  It opens up with another scene that illustrates exactly how mistreated and disrespected Eldians are, the janitor going so far as to question why they are “breeding” for more devils.  This is unsurprisingly traumatizing to Zeke and those words are the seeds that flourish the plant of self-hatred soon to wreak havoc.  On the other hand, Grisha vents his frustrations and feeds the idea that their only salvation is to be free from their internment.  They have barely enough freedom to leave their residence and to do so require legal permission.  At this point, we’re familiar enough with how Marley reacts to Eldians both in the past and present day and those views haven’t changed no matter the year.  The story makes us aware that other nations prefer the race to be eradicated whereas Marley’s action is to keep them controlled, though of course there are people who support the former option.  It’s demeaning enough to be ostracized but threatened with genocidal wishes from the general public induces a lot of paranoia and, in the Restorationists’ case, rage.

Zeke is considerably mellow though.  There is no contempt because he’s too busy appeasing his parents.  He struggles with his training and falls far too short from the other warrior candidates.  But he is nothing but loyal to Grisha and Dina, even lying to his grandparents about how his father lectures him about their history.  Zeke uniquely gets two different teachings, but interestingly we don’t see him doubting either of them.  He seems to absorb more of what Grisha is saying, but doesn’t confess that to his grandparents, and simply nods and follows along to whatever is being read to him.  Most of his anxiety is reaching the expectation of becoming a warrior like his parents wanted.

His parents don’t make it a mystery to Zeke that him becoming a warrior is part of their restoration plan.  It’s not out of glory or that they want to best for him, but he is already exposed to the group as the one to save them all, a beacon of hope that the whole of the Eldian race depends on.

Of course, with the pressure on, Zeke cannot make the cut.  A mix of physical weakness and mental turmoil has Magath questioning Zeke’s integrity.  This brings him trailing behind his comrades, defeated, only to run into one of the current warriors playing catch with himself.  This is where we get a first glimpse of Zeke’s hidden pitching talent.  Tom Xaver, the current Beast Titan whose main job is a titan science researcher, is impressed and Zeke illuminates.

I know he murdered hundreds in very unkind ways, but it is a canon fact he is adorable.

Afterwards, Grisha, Dina, and their restorationist friend Grice become stressed with the fact Zeke isn’t performing to acceptable standards to even qualify to be a candidate of the warrior program, let alone having the chance to harness one of the titans.  Zeke overhears this and is taken back by the urgency. Grisha takes notice and attempts to encourage his son by saying he is special and therefore he can succeed.

Immediately follows probably one of the most depressing, soul-crushing pages that doesn’t include death (unless you count the death of Grisha and Dina’s faith in their son).  You don’t have to like Zeke to feel a twinge of relatability when he nearly breaks down from watching his parents turn away in disappointment.  It’s the worst kind of rejection because there is no improving something you simply cannot do and don’t truly have a passion for, even if you fight tooth and nail for it.

Xaver comments on Zeke’s atrocious training attempt and Zeke admits that his parents are the reason he has to become a warrior.  Xaver loosely describes the “perks” of being a warrior: harness unbelievable power, fight in wars, and die in 13 years by the teeth of your successor.  Avoiding that fate doesn’t grant much freedom, but to Zeke, staying alive for as long as possible is good enough.  To survive is fine.  He doesn’t need to fight to be free.

Naturally, cruel circumstances bombarde Zeke’s world when he overhears that his parents are in serious danger of being discovered.  He attempts to vere them to safer options so that they won’t be sent to Paradis, but Grisha and Dina immediately shut him down.  Living in an oppressed system is damaging to their self-esteem.  Revolution is necessary to change the world.  Zeke is their golden ticket.  There is a fatal risk to all this, but it is all for the name of their people.  For those who died for trying to reach beyond their boundaries.  Grisha omits his guilt over his sister’s death, saying what he wanted was simple.  Did that deserve punishment?  We already know his feelings about that, though.

Zeke on the other hand is convinced that it is all over for his family.  The power others have over them is far greater than his parents can overcome.  Xaver sees his distress and Zeke is quick to surrender any possibility of a long life, grateful he can hold onto memories of him as he eternally sleeps.  Xaver is too fond of Zeke, though, and we learn he is the one who suggests Zeke turn in his parents in order to save himself and his grandparents.  Zeke objects, of course, but it doesn’t take too long for Xaver to convince him that his parents cared more about their agenda than their child’s happiness and wellbeing.  And then that all happens.

Several years pass, and Zeke has gone from adorable to totally handsome.

Err...and he has become a successor to the Beast Titan.  He’s woven a close bond with this man to know progressions concerning his research.  A lot of it is information we already know but to them it’s a mix of theory and hearsay.  The new bit of information we gather is the theory that the Founding Titan can manipulate Eldian’s genetic makeup based on paths alone.  It’s what has saved them from plagues in the past.  Zeke recalls the janitor that harassed him and his parents years ago, and laments on the idea that the Founder can also prevent more Eldians from being born.

Xaver reacts somber over this concept.  He confesses that he used to have a family under disguise as a Marleyan.  It wasn’t until after his wife found out and killed herself and their son out of shame and disgust that he ultimately decided to become a warrior-- so he could die in the most glorified way possible, I guess?  In that time, he was dedicated to his research more than anything, but overall expressed he virtually replaced the void in his heart with Zeke’s presence, which explains why he was so important to him.  It’s kind of touching that they both found  each other to fill in roles that were empty in their lives.  Xaver still exhibits a great deal of self-hatred, something that Zeke can relate to.  At this point, he declares his motive of taking the Beast Titan, recovering the Founder, and stop the cycle of suffering by effectively ending the existence of Eldians altogether.  It’s...certainly a goal, albeit a method of giving in to their circumstances and accepting that they cannot fight against this oppression, so that the best thing to actually do is not exist.  Because no matter what they do, to exist is to suffer, and what kind of life is that?

The flashback closes with Levi overhearing Zeke mutter that the only salvation for Eldia is their euthanasia, and that all the deaths he is responsible for was a method of setting them free.  Of course, Levi doesn’t buy it and prepares for another round of Chopped.  Zeke appears to be only partially lucid when he shouts for his dead mentor to watch his next move.

In a matter of seconds, Zeke jerks the string that pulls the fuse and Levi looks to try to make a quick escape.  Zeke risks it all in an explosion that splits his body in parts, though it looks like his neck and head are still intact.  Meanwhile, Levi is blown back a distance with some blood trailing from his body due to ambiguous injuries.  And there is our cliffhanger of the volume!

I know I basically just summarized the chapter with some flavor additions, but there are a few things that drove me to a pit of emotions and questions during the spoiler drop.  Context from the fully translated chapter fixed a lot of my primary thoughts.

The Zekecrets

First big gain from this chapter is Zeke’s motive!  Finally, the zekecret is out!  And it’s rooted from a traumatic childhood and is buzzing with controversy.  I can’t say I agree with Zeke’s idea of ending the Eldian race by sterilizing them and killing those that he can.  But I will say that considering his experiences as a child and that discussion with Xaver had inspired this motive and, therefore, makes a lot of sense.  We’ve seen Zeke as a kind of chessmaster with many tricks up his sleeve yet was a shroud of mystery.  He has killed without mercy, he has betrayed his country, and he has turned that people he claimed to protect into Titans.  But to him, these deaths are convenient and align to his ultimate goal.

It’s honestly hard to believe that a character that has convinced people that his empathy level is so low that he barely even forms any attachments (as evidence with his betrayal) started off as an extremely sensitive and emotionally intelligent child.  His confidence is constantly challenged because of his blood from both sides.  His parents put him on a pedestal because his relation to them is what makes him special and therefore he must succeed.  On the other front, he is subjected to harsh ostracization from the general Marleyan public for simply being Eldian.  And at training, being the weaker of the child soldiers, he is put down by instructors and his trainee peers.  And even so, he still finds a bit of salvation in learning how to pitch while having some close conversation with a kind stranger.  Where he can’t find affection and acceptance in one area, he finds it in Xaver.

Still, the reality is that he is given these expectations that he himself simply has no strong drive to achieve nor the physical strength.  He presses on for the sake of his parents, but only his success will gain their acceptance and...he is unable to do it.  I think the most heartbreaking thing about this is that he accepts that he is somewhat of a tool for their agenda yet he sticks his neck out in hopes that he gets affectionate attention from his parents.  The fact he watches a child play ball with their father on his way home show that it’s an attention he craves because he doesn’t receive it often.  Even when he knows they are soon to get caught, Zeke’s first instinct is to say his goodbyes and surrender to whatever fate has in store for him.  To him, he is useless to carve his own path.  He has failed his parents, the Restorationists, the whole Eldian race, and himself.

Parenting Contrast: Grisha&Dina v Carla

I do briefly want to say that I don’t think Grisha and Dina were bad people, they are bad (not worst) parents and were too radicalized in their beliefs to realize that their son was emotionally struggling with self-esteem issues.  Anything they knew about Zeke was very on the surface.  Their priority was the revolution.  They manufactured a child for this due to their ignorance and anger.  But I don’t think they didn’t care about Zeke at all.  Zeke, to them, was to gain just as much of a positive outcome and life of freedom if he succeeded.  They were never aware of the pressure they put on Zeke.  Grisha later assumed that their negligence was the reason for Zeke’s betrayal and he never blames him for it.

Ironically, though, Eren is the appropriate child Grisha could have had for his revolution before it rapidly failed.  Second time’s the charm?  This is likely due to Eren’s lack of responsibility.  There were no dire expectations until later in his life.  Carla parented opposite of Dina and Grisha, believing that not everyone has to be special to be great.  Eren had more options open to him. 

Regardless, I don’t think Grisha quite parented the same way as he did with Zeke, but it may have been a bit difficult to keep reactions to certain circumstances subtle.  I don’t know if we’ll ever get more insight about why Eren used to be a weird loner kid that followed life through “the strong conquer the weak” system.  I just have a sneaking suspicion that it’s due to indirect mimicking of Grisha’s behavior.  After all, a real issue in this series are ignorant adults.  Or sometimes kids are just weird and easily influenced.  Unfortunately, in the end, Grisha does resort back to pressing responsibility on his second son, most likely because of their dire situation and Eren’s willingness to break free.  Because Eren is his son, of course.

Bit by bit, however, Zeke seems to be progressively aware of the obsession his parents have over their revolution plan.  They spend very little time with him, so he is often spending time with his grandparents, effectively keeping the cover up for his parents.  And any time they do spend with him is spent reversing the studies he has learned at school.  Zeke accepts the lessons but isn’t enthused.  I mentioned that he doesn’t really seem to question which history is correct and which isn’t; he doesn’t cast doubts on either and it’s difficult to say whether Grisha’s teachings were ones he felt were more accurate or that he was just parroting in order to gain approval.  A majority of his interactions with his parents are “yes” and nods.  

When Xaver comes into the picture and Zeke projects him as a father figure, he becomes more aware of his parents’ actions.  Which is why I don’t think it was especially a struggle for Zeke to believe Xaver when he told him that his parents don’t really care about him and that it’ll be worth selling them out if it means he and his grandparents get to live.  Zeke is very good at shutting down his emotions at this moment.  He is, however, not without heart though, because he continues to nurture that fondness for Xaver, who he is later a successor to.  In fact, he is the reason why Zeke entertains the idea that Eldians should stop reproducing.

The Plan and is Eren actually part of this?

This is where things get controversial, of course.  On one hand, technically, no longer existing means that they would no longer have to suffer.  Zeke says those on Paradis are ignorant to what the world has in store for them.  This isn’t to buy more time to properly unite with other nations, it was time to stop reproduction altogether and (probably) eliminate the Eldians on Paradis.  To Zeke it’s merciful to end this.  But it’s still genocide.  And I don’t believe this is the ultimate answer nor do I believe Eren is actually going to end up accepting this plan.

Unlike Zeke, Eren grew up with an everlasting flame that urged him to seek freedom in every format.  Freedom of his environment, freedom of his choices, etc.  He too gets weighed down by crushing expectations, becoming something of a tool for the military and government to achieve victory, but it is something that he genuinely wants.  Included, he still had the compassion of his comrades.  He wished them long lives.  He believes that people deserve to live simply by being born into the world.  Their existence gives them the right to freedom.  It gives them a chance to fight.  Sterilization is a big surrender.  Death and prevention of life, robbing that choice from others, is completely contradicting to anything Eren has ever learned, said, or believed in.  And I think his reaction to Willy’s words at the festival is a key indicator that his intention is to keep the Eldians alive.  I’m not sure how far ahead Eren is in terms of double crossing his brother, but at the very least, I think that if he knows Zeke’s true intentions, he has found or is finding a way to skirt around that option and use Zeke for his own plans.

I plan to write a progression meta theorizing Eren’s motives that edits and re-publishes with every reveal in each chapter but basically my guess is that Eren does know what Zeke wants and that he has been playing along with Zeke’s orchestrated plan, festival, Warhammer Titan, prisonbreak, etc. to earn loyalty points.  Which unfortunately included him killing innocents in the process.  But if Zeke really does believe their deaths are their true freedom, then Eren has to convince Zeke that he believe the same too.  Doesn’t mean he hasn’t internally struggled as a result.  But for now, Eren’s individual thoughts remain an enigma so it’s difficult to pinpoint his exact intentions at the moment.

Explosive (haha) End

Anyway, the other big thing was Zeke’s dramatic escape act which required an enormous explosion and the splitting of his own body.  Uh, yuck!  But I can’t help but feel a bit tickled that we actually have a panel with Zeke’s detached ass in the air.  His torso, including his neck and head, are more or less together, so he can easily pull off the Reiner trick to implant his brain to elsewhere on the nervous system so that he can regenerate from there.  So, yeah, Zeke will be fine.  And probably pantless if he can’t recover his lower half.

Levi, on the other hand, has no regenerating powers and appears pretty injured if the blood splattering off his body is anything to go by.  He wasn’t as close to the explosion, so it’s possible any injuries he sustained are because of the shooting debris and/or his sword, which he still had out in front guarding his body prior to the fuse going off.  I remember when the first grainy image of this panel came out and everyone was zooming in and tracing areas to figure out if Levi lost anything.  I think it’s consensus now that Levi has both legs intact and at the very least his left arm.  The only big question is whether his right arm is there and any other injuries on his torso or face that may exist.  If you want my personal visual analysis and theory, I think his injuries are not fatal nor crippling, meaning all his limbs are intact, but he probably has decent sized gashes on his body to have him temporarily side-lined.  I think the angle of the drawing and multiple gradients to indicate fast motion and blood direction is meant to give the reader uncertainty but in the end it’ll reveal that nothing was lost.  At least, I hope so.  It would be absolutely disheartening and irresponsible to put him out of commission for the rest of the series and the rest of his life-- I think out of all the suffering Levi has gone through, he definitely doesn’t deserve to feel completely useless to do anything,  Plus it’d be extremely underwhelming to set your strongest and most popular character on the bench before the big climax.

I will say that Levi is definitely not dead, though.  None of the notable deaths we’ve seen have been obscured by body angles.  They’ve been explicitly shown without debate on their status, Erwin and Sasha especially.  I believe the only off-screen deaths the series has had was Moblit and Ymir, and even then the scenes before then leave you no doubt to their inevitable fate.  Even Marco eventually got a scene of his death.  And neither of these deaths happened as cliffhangers.  But false death cliffhangers have always been a thing in the series.  Plus, I think Levi is far more deserving of a multi-panel, half chapter death scene if he were to die at all.

I do think he will land in the river and those injuries will prevent him from fighting effectively against the current to stay in his location.  I believe the convenient landscape was rather deliberate as it gives Zeke enough time and lonesomeness to recover and seek Eren.  Really, the explosion was an excuse to remove Levi from the scene and quickly be transported elsewhere.  But I want to bet we won’t find out Levi’s fate for another couple chapters.  Because Isayama is just that cruel!

....

Sorry this got extensive.  I’m still building up on these thoughts, so nothing is definite or without possibility of change.  But to summarize, Zeke’s childhood is sad, his plan is genocide and Eren ain’t about that life, Yeagerbros are dramatic people and forever interesting to me, and Levi is alive and battered but not handicapped.

That said, I would love to hear from everyone else about what they thought of the chapter.  Were you sympathetic to Zeke’s backstory?  Is he irredeemable?  What’s Eren’s role in all this?  Does he actually subscribe to Zeke’s scheme of eliminating all Eldians to end their suffering, or does he have other tricks up his sleeve?  Is Levi alive? How bad are his injuries?  Does he know how to swim?

Will I ever recover from the emotional rollercoaster this chapter has put me though?

Thanks for sending this ask!  I haven’t meta’d in a while and this honestly is inspiring to write again!

dean’s first crush read here on ao3 based on this post

Sam’s beginning to understand his brother’s vitriolic hatred of witches now. Not that he’d liked very many witches to begin with. They were generally more troublesome than helpful and a pain in the ass to boot. This though? This really takes the cake. They’d taken a case a few hours away in Laverne, just over the border into Oklahoma. It hadn’t seemed like their thing, originally. Adults were disappearing more than they normally did with nothing left behind at the site. Sam hadn’t thought much about it until he spotted an article a few days later that claimed one of the adults had returned as a child. Testing had confirmed that it was the exact same person, so Sam pulled Dean and Cas into the library and showed them the article. They’d had their bags packed and were in the car twenty minutes later.

They hadn’t reached Laverne until late that night, so they settled into the motel room and went over the news articles again.                                                          ✤ “Could be a witch.” Castiel pipes up, crossing his arms over his chest. “A powerful one, at least. Didn’t you run across a witch who could take years from people?” Dean grimaces at the reminder but nods. “Yeah, let’s not bring that up. Bit of a sore spot.” Sam snorts. “Not for me.” Dean turns a glare to his brother but Castiel simply rolls his eyes and continues. “If it is a witch, we need to figure out who it is and why they’re turning adults into children. What benefit are they getting?”

Both Winchesters shrug and agree to work on that problem in the morning once they’ve gotten enough sleep. Cas joins Dean in bed, a sight Sam still isn’t entirely used to. Ever since the shit with Michael, Cas and Dean had just kind of… been together. Dean hadn’t told and Sam hadn’t asked, but his brother was happier than Sam had seen in a long time and Cas was sticking around, so Sam really didn’t have any complaints. Morning came way too early, but Sam was used to it at this point. He walked down the street to the nearest café, grabbing a few different things for breakfast and coffees for each of them. Dean and Cas are both dressed and ready by the time he returns, so Sam drops the food and coffees on the table and takes the opportunity to shower. An hour later, they’re all in their Fed suits, piling into the Impala and heading to interview a few of the victims. Their attempts are… unsuccessful, to say the least. Not only are they in a child’s body, it appears that their minds were reverted to their childhood state. Most of the victims are now somewhere between five and eight, so they don’t get a whole hell of a lot from them. They grab a quick lunch before heading to the police station, which turns out to be another dead end. They’re more baffled than the Winchesters are, and they’ve got no evidence to go on. One of the officers pulls them aside on their way out of the building and swears it’s the work of the devil. The three of them glance at each other and Sam catches the corner of Cas’s mouth quirking upwards, almost as if to say yeah, like Lucifer would give a shit about this even if he was alive. Since they don’t have to go to the morgue, they grab a quick dinner at a burger joint in town. It’s crowded and noisy, so their theories about the case blend in with the chatter easily. “Maybe it’s a curse?” Dean suggests, shoving a few fries in his mouth as he glances between his brother and Castiel. The former shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “No, I don’t think so. I think Cas’s suggestion that it’s a witch might be right.” “What’s the motive, though? The witch you encountered that was taking years from people was keeping himself alive. No matter what age you were after you met him, though, you retained your mental state, so it can’t be magic of that sort.” “Maybe it’s just a witch that likes fucking with people.” Dean says, shrugging and finishing off his dinner. Sam and Cas exchange a weary glance. “Let’s hope for our sake that it’s not. A witch that likes fucking with people is the last thing we need.” Sam says, paying the bill and following his brother to the car. The ride back to the motel is nearly silent, aside from the quiet music coming from the radio. Cas is the first to speak, just as Dean pulls into a parking spot. “Do we have occupations for the victims?” Sam raises an eyebrow as he shakes his head. “No, but I can get it. Why?” Cas hums and follows them into the room. “Just a hunch. Can you get me their occupations and then I’ll explain?” Sam glances over at his brother, who simply shrugs and motions toward the laptop. Instead of questioning them, Sam drops into a chair and pulls the laptop toward him. It takes him a few minutes to get a list of the victims and their occupations but, once he does, he passes the laptop to Cas. The angel settles at the table and reads them over quietly before nodding once, seemingly to himself. “Care to explain?” Dean questions, tugging his tie off and tossing it in the direction of his duffle. “I think whoever it is may be stealing knowledge.” Sam and Dean both raise their eyebrows at Cas, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he continues. “All of the victims were in fairly knowledgeable jobs. A doctor, a psychiatrist, a few professors and teachers, and an astronomer.” Dean raises an eyebrow, sitting in the only empty chair at the table. “Can they do that? Take someone’s knowledge?” Castiel shrugs, pushing the laptop back toward the Winchesters. “I don’t see why not, if they have the proper spell for it. Sam sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Great, so we’re looking for a witch that’s stealing knowledge from people. How’re we supposed to beat that, exactly?” Dean hums, shrugging. “Witch-killing bullet usually does the trick.”                                                     ✤ Of course it doesn’t go according to plan. Nothing ever does for them. They find the witch pretty easily, all things considered. A guy in town had recently had a few breakthroughs in various fields despite having no previous knowledge of those subjects. They also find evidence of him visiting each of the victims before they were de-aged, so as soon as night settles over the town, they pile into the Impala with their guns and spare witch-killing bullets. They park a block from the guy’s house, using the darkness of the night conceal their entry.  It’s a simple place, given the recent success the guy’s had. No flashy car out front, no weird collectibles in the house. There’s a creak from their right just as Dean and Cas enter the threshold of the living room and before either can manage to get their guns up, there’s a blindingly bright flash of light. Sam ducks behind the wall, covering his eyes quickly and trying to regain his senses so he can get a shot off. He stops dead in his tracks when he opens his eyes again, though. Instead of Dean and Castiel standing next to him, there’s two toddlers in their place. They’re unmistakably Dean and Cas; they’ve got the same features and Sam vaguely remembers seeing pictures of Dean around this age. He thinks about trying to fire a shot, but if this witch is stealing knowledge, he’s got all of Dean’s hunting knowledge and knows what their plan is. So instead, he picks up both toddlers and hightails it back to the Impala. “Well that didn’t go well.” Sam startles as Cas speaks. The voice isn’t the same; this one’s much higher-pitched and way more gentle than Cas’s normal tone. “Wait, you… how can you still talk like that?” He manages to get out, setting both toddlers in the back and climbing behind the wheel. “I’m clearly immune to the spell.” He can hear the snark in the angel’s voice, but he doesn’t comment on it as Cas continues. “My knowledge is contained within my grace. The witch only gained Jimmy’s knowledge which is… mostly selling advertisements.” “Ah.” Sam says intelligently. If he’s being honest, he’s more than a little startled by this turn of events. He glances at his brother and Cas in the rearview mirror. Dean still hasn’t said a word and his gaze is currently glued to his hands. All of a sudden, it dawns on Sam. “Hey, uh, Cas? How old would you say you guys are?” Cas glances at Dean quickly before answering. “Around four. Maybe shortly before five? I’m not entirely sure. Why?” Sam clears his throat quietly, pulling into the motel parking lot. “If that witch took all his knowledge… he’d only remember what had happened up until whatever age he is, right?” Castiel nods along but doesn’t elaborate, so Sam presses on. “Which means Dean’s right around the age that Mom died…” He lets the sentence trail off, but Cas doesn’t seem to see where he’s going with this. He’s not entirely surprised Castiel doesn’t know. It was a dark time in Dean’s life, one Sam can’t even hope to remember. He knows a bit from reading John’s journal, but John’s view of things was… distorted, to say the least, so he’s not sure how accurate it is. Nonetheless, both Castiel and Dean follow him into their motel room, the latter staying silent. Sam sighs and turns his gaze to Castiel. “After Mom died, Dean didn’t talk for about a year. According to Dad’s journal, anyway. He just… stopped communicating. Not that he needed to with me, since I was a baby, but he didn’t say a word for a little more than a year.” Castiel frowns and the gesture looks so out of place on such a young face. “Oh. That… explains why he hasn’t been talking. He also won’t remember me.” The angel turns to Dean, sitting next to him on their bed. “Dean? My name’s Castiel. You can call me Cas if you want to.” Dean nods, but his eyes stay glued to the floor and he doesn’t say a word. Sam sighs and runs a hand through his own hair. “The witch has all of Dean’s hunting knowledge now, which means he knows all of our plays. We’re gonna have to find a new way to deal with him.” Castiel nods in agreement, stifling a yawn and sighing. “Dean and I will have to sleep, unfortunately. My grace is occupied at the moment, so I’m at the whims of this vessel. I’m sure Dean’s tired as well.” Sam and Cas both turn to look at Dean, who nods slightly. Cas hums his approval and pushes himself onto his feet. “Come on, Dean, let’s go get ready for bed. We can figure everything out in the morning.” Dean doesn’t say anything, but he does follow Cas to the bathroom and get ready for bed, so Sam’s counting it as a win.                                                       ✤ The next morning is a flurry of movement. Sam gets breakfast for the three of them and settles in at the table. Dean eats, thankfully, and Cas helps him get ready while Sam looks for a way to take down the witch. “Um, Sam? I hate to be a bother but… Dean and I don’t have any other clothes. And we’re going to need car seats if you’re planning on not getting arrested.” Sam blinks at his screen for a moment before turning to Castiel. “I… right, yeah. Didn’t even think about that. Um… let’s go now. I think there’s a Target nearby, we can get both for pretty cheap.” Castiel nods and motions for Dean to follow him. Sam stays where he is, allowing himself a moment to just watch his brother. He’s never seen Dean from this angle. Dean’s always been the stronger older brother. It’s… strange and utterly disconcerting to see him like this. Quietly and mostly to himself, he says, “We’ll get you back to yourself, Dean. I promise.” Dean doesn’t acknowledge him, but Sam hadn’t really expected him to. The ride to Target is silent. Castiel doesn’t have anything to say and Sam’s not going to push his brother to talk if he doesn’t want to, so silence remains. He parks as close to the entrance as he can, ushering both kids inside and grabbing a cart. The car seats are the closest, so they get those first. He picks up the least expensive, most functional ones, since they’ll hopefully only need them for the duration of this case. Not that they’re paying for them anyway, since new credit cards had just come for them a few days ago. With the car seats picked out, they move on to the kids clothing section. Sam gets a few looks from people, but for the most part they’re left alone. He lets both of them pick out clothes for themselves. Dean picks out an overabundance of blue shirts, which… okay. Cas has an armful of clothes that match in no way whatsoever, but Sam just shakes his head and lets the two continue. Much to his surprise, though, Dean walks over to Cas and ducks his head as he holds out the shirts to Castiel. The angel turns to glance at Sam, the confusion on his face painfully evident. That’s when Sam finally realizes: all the shirts are nearly the same color as Castiel’s eyes. Sam shrugs and Castiel accepts the shirts with a murmured “Thank you, Dean.” Dean picks out some clothes for himself and, once everything’s been tried on and loaded into the cart, they head back to the front of the store to check out. Sam winces at the final bill, but he won’t be paying for it anyway. He swipes the card, breathing a sigh of relief when it goes through without a problem. He takes the receipt from the cashier and heads back out to the car. He loads the clothes into the trunk before turning to stare at the car seats. He’s never actually had to put a car seat in, so he sends a silent prayer to Chuck, hoping instructions are included. He doesn’t realize, but sometime in the midst of him installing the car seats, Dean wanders off to a grassy patch of the parking lot and plops down on the ground, carefully picking all the flowers within his reach. By the time Sam turns around to load them into the car, Dean’s approaching him and Castiel with the stems of the flowers clutched in his small hand. Castiel watches him with wide eyes, taking the flowers gently when Dean offers them, though the Winchester’s eyes are pointedly glued on the ground. “Thank you, Dean.” Dean nods, and Sam can see a slight flush on his brother’s cheeks. It brings a grin to his lips, despite the current situation. “I think he’s got a little-kid crush on you, Cas.” A blush colors the angel’s cheeks and Sam finds his grin widening. He gets both of them settled into the car seats, looking for a place for lunch on his phone. They have a quick lunch at a local restaurant before heading back to the motel. As they’re walking into the room, Dean taps Cas on the shoulder gently. “What’s wrong?” Cas asks as he turns to look at Dean. Dean holds his small fist out toward Cas, so Castiel holds his hand out, palm up. Dean opens his hand and drops a necklace into Cas’s. Sam steps forward to take a closer look, eyes widening when he sees a sapphire. “Dean, did you take that from the store?” Dean shakes his head but doesn’t elaborate further. “Is… is there something you want me to do with this, Dean?” Castiel asks gently, glancing down at the necklace. Dean’s lips move a few times before he looks up to meet Cas’s gaze. “’S a pretty color, like your eyes. Want you t’have it.” Castiel and Sam glances at each other with wide eyes. Dean flushes and looks down at his feet, clasping his hands together in front of him. Castiel rests his free hand on Dean’s, his voice gentle. “Thank you, Dean. It’s lovely.” “Where’d you get it, Dean?” Sam asks, turning to sit on the bed. Dean chews his lip a moment before answering. “The house we were in las’ night. Was on the floor.” Castiel furrows his eyebrows and is turning to Sam before Sam even has a chance to speak. “This is an instrument of his magic, Sam. Perhaps, if we can find the right spell, we can undo what he’s done and return everyone to their rightful selves.” Sam raises his eyebrows, glancing at the necklace. “Great. Point me in the direction, what kind of spell am I looking for?” Castiel hums in thought, brushing a thumb over the sapphire. “The spell he recited was Celtic, so some sort of undo spell in the Celtic language. Perhaps Rowena could be of service? I’ve heard her perform several Celtic spells.” Sam nods and pulls out his phone, dialing Rowena’s number as he moves to the small table in the room. She picks up on the second ring. “Samuel. Nice to hear from you outside of apocalypse times. What can I do for ya?” He runs a hand through his hair, chuckling softly. “Hey. So, uh, slight problem.” He can picture Rowena rolling her eyes as she speaks. “There always is with you three. Merry band of misfits, I swear. What can I help you boys with?” Sam chuckles and rubs a hand over the back of his neck. “So we’re working a case in Laverne, Ohio. Turns out it was a witch who was de-aging people so he could take their knowledge.” Rowena sighs. “Let me take a guess: Castiel and Dean got hit with the spell and you need me to come undo it.” Sam chuckles nervously. “I, uh… could you?” “Of course, Samuel. Charlie and I are only a few hours away, we’ll be there soon.” He hears the click on the other end that signals Rowena hanging up, so he sets his phone on the table. “Alright, so Rowena’s on her way. How do we get the other people turned back? They’re in the custody of CPS, it’s not gonna be easy to get to them.” “We may not need to.” Castiel says, sitting on the bed next to Dean. “We may only need a sample of their DNA, like some hair or something left over in their houses. Ask Rowena, we can collect it while she’s driving.” Sam snorts. “We? No offense man, but I don’t think you two are gonna be much help. You can barely reach the doorknob.” Castiel rolls his eyes. “I’m more than capable of opening a door, Sam, and I’m sure Dean is. We-” Castiel stops himself and turns to look at Dean, frowning. “Perhaps you’re right. I’d forgotten that Dean’s lost all of his hunting knowledge.” Dean huffs, squirming in his seat. “Why d’you talk ‘bout me like ‘m not here?” “Apologies, Dean. It’s just… there’s a lot you don’t remember right now.” Dean stays quiet, but he shifts closer to Castiel. Sam sends Rowena a quick text asking what she needs, bringing up the victim’s addresses just in case. Sure enough, all they need is a sample of DNA. He knows he shouldn’t, but he leaves Dean and Cas in the motel room as he goes to collect it. It’s dark enough that he can get into the houses unseen. It takes him less than an hour to get a sample from all the victims. Rowena and Charlie are there by the time he gets back. He shoulders the door open, smiling gratefully at them. “I brought dinner.” Charlie grins. “Mm, real food. I’ll never get enough of it.” She grabs one of the Styrofoam containers, dropping onto the bed with Dean and Cas. “I can’t believe you let your brother and best friend get turned into little kids.” Sam scoffs. “I didn’t let them, they were ahead of me!” Rowena simply rolls her eyes, holding out a hand. “I presume you’ve got samples from the other victims?” Sam nods and motions to the various bags on the table. “One from each, yeah. Do you know how to fix it?” Rowena looks mildly insulted, snatching the bags off the table. “I’m a centuries old witch, Sam, reversing a simple de-aging spell is easy. I could do it in my sleep.” She motions for Charlie to help her, grabbing a book, the necklace, and a few spell ingredients. Everything gets set on the ground in an orderly pile before she walks over to Dean and Cas and plucks a few hairs from their heads. Cas winces but Dean full-on flinches away from her, which is concerning to say the least. He seems to relax once Cas’s hand finds it’s way onto Dean’s knee, though. It’s remarkable how much Dean relaxes with just a simple touch from Cas. Rowena’s done with the spell a few minutes later. It’s silent for a moment, and Dean and Cas are still in the bodies of five-year-olds. Sam turns to ask her what the hell went wrong when the blindingly-bright light from the witch’s house fills the tiny motel room. He and Charlie both cover their eyes while Rowena sits there unfazed. When Sam opens his eyes again, Dean and Cas are sitting on the bed as their normal, age-appropriate selves. Sam breathes a sigh of relief and pulls both Rowena and Charlie into a hug. “Thank you guys so much, I was at my wit’s end.” Rowena brushes off the thanks, chuckling. “Can you boys handle this witch on your own or do I need to take care of that too?” Sam flushes, glancing at Dean and Cas, who simply shrug. “I-I… you’re welcome to stay if you want to. We know where he lives, and he won’t be expecting us.” Rowena raises an eyebrow. “I’m certain he felt the reversal of his magic. If he isn’t already, he’ll be on his way here. Sooner, rather than later.” The sound of the door’s lock clicking open has them all turning to face the door. Dean and Cas both dive for their guns as Sam pulls his from his waistband, training it on the door. Charlie pulls a gun from her waistband as well, copying Sam and aiming it at the door. It all happens in an adrenaline-fueled blur. The four of them pull the trigger before the witch can even get a word out. Rowena doesn’t even flinch, just crosses her arms. “Well that certainly wasn’t the smartest. We’re in a motel, not the woods.” The four of them glance at each other, eyes wide. Clearly, none of them had thought of that. Rowena sighs and rolls her eyes, collecting her things. “Idiots. Get the body and let’s get the hell out of here, I’ll wipe you from the security tapes.” Sam smiles sheepishly at her, helping Dean and Cas load the witch’s body into the Impala’s trunk. Dean grumbles about the bloodstains, but for the most part goes along with it. They’re gone in five minutes. Charlie and Rowena go their separate way not long after leaving the motel. They boys pull off when they get to a particularly woody area, finding a clear spot and digging a pit before doubling back for the body. They’ve got it salted and burned in a few minutes, Dean and Cas both rubbing at their eyes as the flames blaze in front of them. The walk back to the car is silent, save for the chirping of a few crickets and a wolf howling in the distance. They agree to clean the trunk once they’re back at the bunker and Sam offers to drive home so Dean and Cas can rest. He can’t resist, though, as they’re climbing in the car. “So, Dean, you think Cas’s eyes are a pretty color?” Dean’s face grows bright red and he fixes his brother with a glare over the hood of the car. “You shut your mouth and get in the damn car.” Sam laughs, grinning to himself as he slides behind the wheel. Dean and Cas both climb in the back and the ride is silent for a few moments before Dean speaks again. “Look, you can’t tell me his eyes aren’t pretty. Especially when they do the whole glowing thing when we’re-” Sam knows exactly where this is going, so he switches the radio on and turns it up, drowning his brother out. His brother and Castiel are both snickering in the back seat and, despite nearly being scarred for life, Sam’s got a content smile on his face as well. Their laughter is contagious, though, and soon Sam’s snickering right along with them. The three of them haven’t laughed like this since they brought everyone through the rift, nearly a year ago now. Sam can’t help but enjoy the moment, even though it was borne of his brother very nearly letting Sam in on some things about their relationship he’s very content not knowing. All in all, the case wasn’t too bad. And, despite seeing Dean so vulnerable, it was actually pretty entertaining. Not to mention the fact that he’s got plenty of blackmail material for future use. A glance in the rearview mirror shows that Dean and Cas are both sound asleep just as they cross the border into Kansas. Castiel is curled into Dean’s side, with Dean’s arm loosely slung around the angel’s shoulders. It’s such a soft sight, and certainly not something Sam had ever expected to see from his uber-macho, ladies-man older brother. It’s cute, he thinks to himself. He’s happy for them. They’re good for each other. That doesn’t mean he’s ever letting Dean live this down.

Enmity (Nct 127+Ten Halloween Special)

Title: Enmity 

Word Count: 6.2k+

Summary: Y/n, Johnny, and Jaehyun have been the best of friends ever since childhood. However, Jaehyun and Johnny once got into a “huge fight” separating the trio. Y/n still remains best friends with the both of them, but each of them have their own secluded “friend groups”. What y/n doesn’t know is that these friend groups are defined by the supernatural. Johnny’s pack of werewolves and Jaehyun’s clan of vampires are mortal enemies, and y/n is about to have a run in with the both of them.

A/N: It’s finally up guys!! Just a little note, the vampires mythology is based off the the vampires from The Vampire Diaries and the werewolf mythology is based off of the werewolves from Teen Wolf. But anyway, I hope you all enjoy this! Let me know in the replies or my ask which member your the most excited to see the scenario for, and who I should post first! Feedback is much appreciated!

Character Introduction

Member Endings:

Jaehyun  Johnny 

The obnoxious beeping of your phone awakens you from a deep slumber. You stretch your body awake, reaching your arm over to grab your phone. Squinting at the brightness of the device, you stop the alarm and try to make out the time with your still blurry eye sight. The numbers 10:00 light up the screen, causing your eyes to widen. You throw your blanket and make it thump onto the floor as you jump out of bed. You promised Jaehyun that you’d meet up with him in an hour! Silently thanking yourself for showering before bed last night, your quickly pick out an outfit and start getting yourself together. 

You can’t afford to miss another opportunity to hang out with Jaehyun. Of course the two of you are best friends, but lately you’ve felt like he’s been sort of off. In fact, both of your best friends have been a bit off ever since their huge fight a few years ago. As much as you’d like to think it’s because they miss each other, it’s impossible to ignore the apparent burning hatred they feel for one another. Unfourtunately, you were always kept in the dark over what truly happened between Jaehyun and Johnny, but you never pushed them into telling you what happened. It was their dispute. You weren’t going to be one to intervene, especially when both boys mean so much to you. Jaehyun and Johnny are perfectly fine with staying your best friend, you just don’t mention one around the other.

For now, you and Jaehyun have been trying to get together the past two weeks, but he always ends up cancelling on you. When you question him about it, he just says that it’s “friend drama”, even though he knows that you don’t believe him. Since the fight, Jaehyun and Johnny have both gotten into new groups of friends. You haven’t really met either of their friend groups personally, but you know enough about some of them from the stories the boys tell. Plus you have your own other friends to hang out with; you don’t need to hang off of Johnny and Jaehyun for the rest of your life.

The ringtone of your cell phone sounds throughout the room signaling to you that Jaehyun has finally arrived. 

“Just a second!” You say, dropping the greetings and getting straight to the point. You hold your phone between your ear and your shoulder area as you grab your bag and head out the door. Jaehyun is waiting outside of his car with a smile.

“Jae!” You yell, hanging up your phone and running to him. Jaehyun opens his arms and catches your body, hugging you closely.

“Y/n! It’s so nice to finally see you, I’ve missed you so much!” He says, laughing at how cutely excited you are to see him.

“I’ve missed you more! I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever!” You say, still clinging to him.

“Y/n, we facetimed yesterday.” He laughs, making you feel the vibrations of his laughter on your head.

“But that’s not the same...” You say, pulling away and playfully pouting at him.

“Whatever you say!” He says, grabbing your wrist lightly and pulling you towards his car. “Now get in the car, I want coffee!”

“Ok, ok!” You respond, opening the door and climbing in.

The drive to the cafe is silent but comfortable. The world around you quickly flashes by as the car moves forward. When looking out the window, a small oval light reflection on your face begins to distract you. Your eyes follow the small beam of light and find the culprit to be Jaehyun’s ring. The ring is a gorgeous deep ocean blue with a little metal design on it. Jaehyun never takes it off and when you ask him why, he always replies that the ring means a lot to his family. It’s always peaked your curiosity since it was so beautiful.

“What are you staring at?” He asks.

“Just your ring. You know I love it.” You reply placing your hand upon his and playing with it a bit. Jaehyun tenses up at this, but grins softly. He knows that you would never take it off of him.

“I really don’t get why you love it so much.” He chuckles softly.

“It’s just so you.” You reply. “The deep blue... I don’t know. It just suits you.” You finish. Jaehyun just smiles in response as the two of you pull up to the cafe. Jaehyun parks the car, and the two of you walk in. You’re seated fairly quickly and order right away. The conversation consists of normal catching up, funny stories, and memories. That’s what you love about Jaehyun. No matter what the two of you talk about, the both of you are always so engaged in the conversation. It’s never boring. As soon as the waitress brings over your order, Jaehyun’s phone rings.

“Excuse me.” He says. “Taeyong, what’s up?” Whoever this Taeyong is on the other other side of the phone call, you can tell just from faintly hearing his voice through the phone speaker that he is stressed out. Whatever he said made Jaehyun’s face fall completely and worry flood his eyes.

“I got it. Don’t worry.” He responds, hanging up the phone and looking at you with regret. Every time he goes to speak, he stops himself, as if he’s trying to find the perfect way to express his excuse to you.

“Look y/n, a friend of mine is in trouble....” He stops, collecting his thoughts again. “I don’t really want to bring you, but I also don’t really have time to take you home.... so do you mind?” He finishes, looking up at you with hopeful eyes.

“Of course Jaehyun! I wouldn’t want any of your friends getting hurt...” You say, concerned. “I’ll tell the waitress we’ll have to take our order to go.”

Your drinks are poured into togo cups and you two frantically make your way out of the cafe. You’ve never seen Jaehyun in such a nervous state of mind before right now. His hands are shaking. He’s trying to start the car, but his hands are shaking so much he can’t even start the ignition. He keeps trying, clearly frustrated, but his hands just keep shaking more and more.

“Jae. Hey, Jae.” You say, placing your hand on top of his, making him look at you.

You hold his hand tightly and look him in the eyes. “Breathe.” You say soothingly. Jaehyun takes two deeps breathes and then sighs.

“Now I don’t know who this friend is or what type of danger he’s in, but it seems to be extremely important if you’re this worked up. How about you let me drive so that you can calm yourself down before we get there ok?” You say. Jaehyun nods in response, still dazed and out of it. You switch places and let Jaehyun tell you where to go. You can’t help but notice the further along you get, the more dark and narrow the areas get. Whatever this friend got himself into must be really bad. The two of you drive for a bit longer until he tells you to stop in front of this dark, yet open building. You can barely make out a figure in the back of the shadows, but you assume that’s the friend.

“Now y/n.” Jaehyun starts. “As soon as we get out of this car, I want you to hold my hand and never let go of it ok? This is a really dangerous area and although it’s not bad during the day, we could never be too careful.” You simply nod in response, fear rising within your body for the first time today once you realize how nervous Jaehyun truly is. Jaehyun leaves the car first and opens your door for you at what feels like lightening speed. He grabs your hand immediately and quickly leads you to the corner where you thought you saw the figure when you first pulled up.

“Sicheng!” Jaehyun whispers so softly that you barely hear him. “Is that you?” 

“Jaehyun!” Sicheng whispers slightly louder, quickly running up to the two of you. The boy looks as if he’s going to hug Jaehyun, but he spots you, stops short, and quickly backs away. 

“It’s ok Sicheng, this is my best friend y/n, the girl i’m always telling you about?” Jaehyun says, sensing Sicheng’s doubt. Sicheng visibly relaxes at his words and doesn’t only hug Jaehyun, but you too.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you y/n! Jaehyun has told me so much about you!” Says Sicheng. Now that he’s out of the pitch black darkness you’re able to see him clearly, and you’re left a bit speechless. Sicheng has a flawless complexion and dark eyes, and he’s wearing a light t-shirt that shows off his lean but apparent muscles. You also can’t help but notice the pure joy in his face since he’s finally been “saved”, even if you don’t really understand what you were saving him from. You go to respond to him, but Jaehyun cuts you both off. 

“Look, I’m all for you guys introducing yourselves to each other since you are my best friends after all, but right now we need to get in the car. We don’t know who or what is out here right now, and I don’t want to stay long enough to find out.” Agreeing with Jaehyun, the three of you quickly head to the car, Jaehyun signaling for you to sit in the passenger seat while Sicheng sits in the back.

“Is everything ok Sicheng? Are you hurt?” Jaehyun asks, looking in the rearview mirror to try and get a good look at him.

“No i’m fine. I’m just a little thirsty.” Sicheng says.

Before Jaehyun can say anything, you say, “Here, I have some water!”

Sicheng looks at you slightly confused, but nonetheless accepts your offer. Deciding not to ask why he looked at you all confused, you ask the question you’ve had since you guys first got here.

“Look I don’t want to be rude or anything, but what exactly did we just save Sicheng from? I mean he’s not hurt or anything...” You ask, curiously.

“I was stuck there because the sun came up before I left and someone took my r-”

“He has a skin condition!” Jaehyun says frantically cutting him off.

“A skin condition?” You ask, startled by Jaehyun’s surprise interruption. 

“Yeah... he can’t go in the sun for too long because he has very sensitive skin! Normally he wears a raincoat, but he forgot it when he went to go running this morning since it was dark! Right Sicheng?” Jaehyun says.

“Sure.” Sicheng says, still confused but going along with it. 

“Ok so I just have to take y/n home and then we can go meet up with the others.” Jaehyun says relieved.

“Aw why does she have to go home? Y/n seems fun!” Sicheng says, pouting.

“Sicheng!” Jaehyun whispers while looking back at an innocent Sicheng.

“Yeah, I wanna stay and learn more about Sicheng! He IS your other best friend after all!” You say.

“You can learn about Sicheng another time, but not now.” Jaehyun says sternly.

“Come on pleaseeeee.” You say, giving Jaehyun your pouty face that you know he can’t resist.

“Yeah pleaseeeeee!” Sicheng says, joining your pleading from the backseat. 

“I’m going to regret this...” Jaehyun sighs.

“Yay!” You and Sicheng say simultaneously. 

It’s a short car ride to your next mystery destination, but it’s filled with enjoyable conversation between you and Sicheng with the crabby Jaehyun sometimes pitching in. You finally arrive at what looks like the forest. You’re extremely puzzled to say the least, but you know you trust Jaehyun and decide to just go with it.

“Go on in without us Sicheng. I have to talk to y/n really quick, but we’ll meet you in there.” Jaehyun says once you’re all out of the car.

“Ok!” Sicheng says, happily heading into the dark and scary forest like it’s nothing.

Jaehyun sighs and looks at you, clearly distraught.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this y/n?” Jaehyun says. “Because after this, you’ll never see me the same way again.”

“Jae what are you even talking about, why is this so serious? I’m just going to meet your friends! At their house in the forest...” you say, trailing off once you realize how sketchy the whole situation seems to be. 

“It’s so much more than that...” Jaehyun pauses. “I trust you with my life y/n, I really do. And that is why I’m willing to tell you something that legitimately means life or death for me.”

“Jaehyun... whatever it is you can tell me. I trust you.” You say, getting slightly scared. 

“No matter what you think of me after I tell you this... you have to promise not to tell anyone, and I mean it y/n. This is serious.”

“I promise.” You say, gulping at the intensity of the situation. 

Jaehyun sighs and steps away from you slightly. 

“I guess it’s best if I just show you...” he says, quietly.

Suddenly, grayish veins begin pettruding around his normally beautiful skin around his eyes, and the whole eye area is turned to this deep red color. All of the signs of life in his face disappear as his facial features grow tighter. Finally you glance at his mouth, and see two sharp bright white fangs, automatically sending a shiver down your spine. You’re absolutely frozen in place, not expecting anything that was anywhere near this revelation. Jaehyun goes to take a step closer, but you take a step back. 

“Y/n” he says reaching out his hand to you, making you flinch away. His face falls, but he puts his arm down deciding its best to keep his distance. 

“Please stay back until I get my thoughts together.” You say, voice shaking. 

“Y/n I know what you’re thinking right now but I promise, no I SWEAR to you that I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you.” He says. 

“You have no idea what I’m thinking.” You respond quietly. “This is insane...” You say, your voice starting to come back to its normal timbre .

“I know, it’s completely and utterly insane. Just please let me explain.” He asks pleadingly. He takes your silence as a cue to continue. “So a few years ago, a little before Johnny and I got into that huge fight, I was walking home from work one day and it was extremely late. I knew I shouldn’t have taken the short cut home, but it had been a long day and I wanted to get back home to my place as fast as possible. As I was walking, I kept feeling like someone was following me. Eventually I got really paranoid and starting looking behind me rhythmically. What I wasn’t expecting was to see a face right in front of me when I turned back around. It was all so fast y/n. I didn’t even get the chance to scream. I fell faint as soon as he bit me, but thankfully someone came out of nowhere and yanked the guy off of me. The last thing I remember is my savior feeding me his blood and snapping my neck.”

You can’t help the gasp that leaves your mouth, not being able to imagine something so brutal happening to your best friend. He looks at you concerned, making sure he’s ok to go on. 

“When I woke up, I was in the little house in the forest that we’re at right now, and was told what I had become.” He sighs, walking over to you. And this time, you let him.

“Do... do you...?” You start, but he understands your intention and answers for you.

“Only animals. I could barely live with myself hurting them, let alone a human being. Y/n I know this is a lot to wrap your head around, but I need you to know that I didn’t want this. Taeyong changed me because it was either changing into a vampire or dying. But I’m still the same Jaehyun, and you know that. I haven’t been different all of these years have I?” Jaehyun asks. You don’t answer. “Look I understand that you’re scare-”

“I’m not scared.” You say, cutting him off.

“You’re not?” He questions, genuinely surprised.

“I know you’d never hurt me Jae, no matter what you are. I trust you.” You say with a small smile, carefully grabbing his hand for reassurance.

“Oh thank gosh.” Jaehyun says, pulling you into a hug. “I was afraid after I told you, you’d be terrified and hate me forever.” He speaks into your hair.

“Never.” You say giggling. “But can you transform your face back again?” You ask.

You watch in awe as the veins slowly morph back into his face, his flawless complexion returning in less than a second. “Incredible.” You say, reaching out to gently touch his face, but feeling nothing other than smooth skin.

“I’m flattered, but it’s really not that incredible.” He says, grabbing your hand and putting it in his. “Now come on, I’m going to introduce you to the clan.”

“The clan?” You ask, following his lead and never letting go of his hand as he leads you through the forest.

“I live with 4 other guys who are like me. You’ve already met Sicheng.”

“Ohhh, is that why Sicheng needed saving?” You ask curiously.

“Yes, he couldn’t go out in the sunlight because his ring was stolen.” Jaehyun says bitterly.

“His ring? Does that protect him from the sunlight?” You ask, looking down at Jaehyun’s ring.

“Yep.” Jaehyun says, lifting his hand to show you his ring. “It was created by witches so that vampires can walk in the sunlight without burning to death.”

“Witches exist too?!” You ask in amazement.

“You’ll soon find out that there are a lot of supernatural things that are real that you wouldn’t think to be.” You and Jaehyun finally reach the house. It’s a shame that this house is in the middle of the woods, because it’s truly breathtaking. It’s one of the largest you’ve ever seen, and is composed of the most beautiful wooden design.

“So do you live here or...”

“More or less.” Jaehyun responds. “I come here sometimes and sometimes I stay at my normal place, it depends.”

“It’s beautiful.” You say, in awe for the second time today.

“Yeah, it’s a really nice place. Wait till you see the inside, you’re going to love it.” He says winking at you and pulling you inside.

“Now don’t be intimidated by all of the vampires you’re about to meet, I promise you they’re all kind.” Jaehyun says, opening the door and stepping inside.

“Y/n!” Sicheng says, running to meet you at the door.

“Who’s this?” A slightly older looking young man asks from the couch. 

“Taeil, this is y/n. She’s my best friend that I always tell you about.” Jaehyun says smiling.

“Y/n, it’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.” Taeil says, getting up and formally shaking your hand.

“Who is at the door?” Someone yells from the top of the stairs. You follow the voice and see a thin male with purple hair descending from the stairs. Behind him, a captivating male with a silvery, pinkish toned hair follows.

“Perfect! Doyoung, Taeyong, this is my best friend y/n.” Jaehyun introduces you.

“Nice to finally meet you y/n! Jaehyun never shuts up about you! It’s nice to finally put a name to your attractive personality.” Doyoung says smirking at you.

“Doyoung!” Jaehyun says sternly. Taeyong remains standing in the background, tense.

“It’s nice to meet you.” He says quickly and quietly before scurrying along to another room.

“You have to cut Taeyong some slack, it takes him a while to open up to strangers.” Jaehyun whispers in your ear. Nodding in response, you take this opportunity to start looking around the place. The house is absolutely huge and every single part of it is gorgeous. “You know, I think Taeyong may need my help with something, I could have the rest of them show you around the place if you want?” Jaehyun says, catching you ogling the interior.

“That’d be great! If they don’t mind...” You say with a flush on your cheeks, realizing it’s your first time ever meeting Jaehyun’s clan and you don’t want to make a bad impression.

“Of course we can!” Doyoung says approaching you.

“Come on y/n, let’s go!” Sicheng says, lightly grabbing your wrist and pulling you up the stairs.

Jaehyun looks at you guys and smiles as Doyoung follows you and Sicheng up the stairs and Taeil hurries to keep up. 

“This is my room!” Sicheng says, leading you into a room with a dark grey paint job and red accent. “You’re welcome in here anytime! From what Jaehyun said about you, I think we’ll get along really well, especially since I’m his best friend too. We should all hang out together sometime!” Sicheng blurts out, the excitement never leaving his eyes.

“Thanks Sicheng, that sounds like it’d be a lot of fun! We’ll have to talk to Jaehyun and make a day.” You reply.

Before Sicheng could respond, Taeil cuts in. “We also have our library up here. That’s where you’ll find me spending most of my time since I’m not a big fan of all the action. I can show you if you’d like?” He asks.

“Sure.” The four of you make your way to the library, and Doyoung immediately laughs at your amazement.

“That was my face when I first saw this place too.” He laughs.

“This is unreal! I don’t think i’ve ever seen this many books!” You exclaim.

“Well, now you have! And they’re all supernatural mythology too.” Taeil explains.

“Seriously? There’s that many supernatural beings?” You question.

“Yep, you’d be surprised at how many things are not what they seem. Now come on, I’m going to show you the most important place in the house, the kitchen!” Doyoung says.

The three of you make your way downstairs and enter a room that looks like it should be a part of a tv show.

“THIS is your kitchen? Do you guys even eat regular food?” You ask in shock.

“We can eat normal food, but we don’t have too since it doesn’t effect us. It’s purely for our enjoyment. And I enjoy it!” Doyoung smiles, pulling what looks like cake out of the fridge. 

Suddenly, a blaring alarm sounds throughout the house and a startled gasp leaves your throat. Before you can even say anything Jaehyun is running into the kitchen and grabbing your hand. 

“Sicheng grab her other hand. Doyoung walk in front and Taeil walk in back. It’s the wolves.”

“Wolves?” You ask, frightened.

“The werewolves.” Jaehyun says. “Don’t worry you’re safe with me.” Before yo can even fathom the fact that werewolves exist too and are here right now, the front door bursts open, and in walk five people, or werewolves. Excessive hair surrounds the edges of their mostly human like faces, but their noses scrunch in the middle and their ears are elongated. Four of the wolves eyes shine a bright golden yellow while one of the guy’s eyes shines a bright, deep red. You’re guessing he’s the leader. The red eyed man lifts his hand, and all of the members shift back to their human form in an instant.

“We’ve come to give you a warning.” The leader says.

“Oh, but you haven’t come to bring Sicheng’s ring back?” Doyoung refutes, earning a small kick in the shin from Taeyong, who is now standing in front of the five of you. 

“He doesn’t deserve his ring back after what he did to us.” The leader says sternly.

“Yuta you have to understand, Sicheng is the most recently turned and knows the least about our ways. He didn’t know that he was crossing onto your hunting territory.” Taeyong says calmly.

“It doesn’t matter. If you don’t want problems like this, maybe you should have him study up on your “ways” before he goes out and about. You’re lucky he didn’t kill anyone.” Yuta says.

“You and I both know that my clan does not kill humans. We are not like that.” Taeyong says, never dropping his calm exterior.

“Speaking of humans, if you say you don’t feed on them, then why do I smell one?” Yuta asks smugly.

For the first time in your life, you freeze at the mention of you being a human. When none of the vampires answer, Yuta demands, “Show them to me.”

“They’re none of your business Yuta.” Jaehyun says coming to your defense. 

“Oh, has our little Jaehyun started feeding on humans? What a disgrace.” An extremely familiar voice spits out. Peaking out from behind Doyoung, you scan the members of the wolf pack and manage to meet the eyes of none other than your other best friend. You break yourself free from the guys and step out into the front. 

“Johnny?!” You exclaim in shock.

“Y/n?!” Johnny replies, just as confused as you. Johnny begins to walk towards you but it stopped when Yuta’s strong hand collides with his chest.

“Who is this human and how do you know her?” Yuta says sharply.

“This is my best friend! I’m trying to go make sure she’s ok after being in a house full of blood suckers if you don’t mind!” Johnny says forcefully. Yuta nods and lets his pass but Jaehyun grabs your wrist and pulls you back.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Johnny asks, annoyed.

“I’m trying to keep y/n safe.” Jaehyun spits out in disgust. Leaving you completely shocked at the way the two old best friends treat one another.

“You know I would never hurt y/n.” Johnny says offended.

“Yeah you may think that, but what happens during a full moon huh? I’m not letting you inner mutt come out and kill my her.” Jaehyun fights back.

“Shut up Jaehyun!” Johnny says, fuming.

“See? There it is! How am I supposed to let y/n near something with such little self control?” Jaehyun smirks. Johnny is shaking with anger at this point and it looks as if a member of his pack is about to come stop him, but a rush of braveness comes over you and you reach out instead.

“Johny!” You yell, yanking your hand out of Jaehyun’s hold and grabbing onto Johnny’s. Johnny visibly calms down at the touch of your hands.

Panicked, Johnny starts babbling, “Y/n, i’m so sorry if I scared you, I promise I’d never hurt you, it’s just he got me so worked up an-”

“Johnny!” You say cutting him off. “It’s ok, I know you’d never hurt me.” Before he can respond, Yuta says “Ok, that’s enough fun for today.” He throws a small object into the air and Jaehyun catches it at lightning speed. 

“Here’s your young vampire’s little ring back Taeyong. As I stated before, let this be a warning. No more vampires on our hunting territory. Or else.” He demands with strong eyes, and with a slight nod of his head, he and the rest of the werewolves are walking out the door. Except Johnny. 

“Wait!” He says anxiously. Yuta turns around, clearly annoyed.

“What?” He asks.

“Can I please take y/n with us? I can’t just leave her like this without any explanation.” Johnny pleads.

“She’s been in touch with vampires Johnny, we can’t just take her with us.” Yuta says.

“Please Yuta! She’s my best friend!” Johnny begs.

“...Fine. But if we are in danger because of your little friendship, the blame is on you.” Yuta says, turning out the door with the rest of the pack.

Johnny reaches his hand out to you, but as you go to grab it, Jaehyun pulls you back.

“Jaehyun... he’s my best friend too. I don’t care if you’re a vampire and he’s a werewolf, we both know he won’t hurt me.” You say lightly. Jaehyun doesn’t respond, but instead pulls you into his arms.

“If you EVER feel in danger or that something is off, call me right away. I’ll be there before you can hang up the phone.” He says, lightly caressing your hair.

“Of course.” You say, finally grabbing Johnny’s hand and walking with him.

“Will you be back?” Sicheng asks.

“Of course I’ll be back Sicheng, don’t worry!” You smile. Johnny’s then leads you out of the house and back into the forest. The two of you walk side by side in an awkward silence, neither of you knowing where to start. 

“So.... do you want to explain to me how everything happened?” You ask.

“There’s really not much to tell. I was walking home one night, Yuta bit me, and now I’m a werewolf. Simple as that.” Johnny says. “He wanted to build a pack, thought I’d be a good pick, and decided to go for the bite. Now I’m his second in command and lead beta.” 

“Yuta seems a bit.... harsh.” You don’t miss the gold that flashes in Johnny’s eyes at the mention of his alpha.

“He’s not harsh, he just keeps his guard up around the vampires. I promise you he’s a nice guy.” Johnny smiles at you. “And... I really hope you don’t believe what Jaehyun said about me back there. I’d never hurt you y/n, even if it were a full moon.”

“Don’t worry Johnny, I know. But just curious, what happens on a full moon?” You ask.

“A full moon is when... our werewolf abilites are their strongest and are the hardest to control. The myths are wrong in saying that we can’t shift whenever we want, but they are right in saying that the full moon does effect us.” He starts. “Although, most werewolves try to find an anchor to help them through the full moon.”

“An anchor?” You question.

“Yeah. An anchor is someone... or something... that keeps you grounded to your human side during the full moon. If you don’t have an anchor and can’t control yourself, you’re usually just chained up somewhere in the house.” Johnny says.

“Do you have an anchor?” You ask innocently. Johnny meets your gaze but looks down again quickly.

“Nope, I haven’t found one yet..” He says.

“Oh, well that’s ok, I’m sure you’ll find one soon.” You say smiling at him. “But I have one more question, please don’t hate me.” 

“I could never hate you y/n, ask away.” Johnny replies.

“Why do you and Jaehyun hate each other?” You ask, causing Johnny to freeze at such a deep question. “I know it’s a sensitive topic but I just couldn’t get over the way you were talking to one another back there. I knew it was bad, but I never thought it was THAT bad.” 

“It’s....” Johnny trails off, trying to find the best words to describe this. “It’s just the way we are y/n. We were both changed around the same time, and it’s in our kinds nature to hate each other. Vampires and werewolves just weren’t meant to get along.” 

“But you guys were best friends... all three of us were!” You say.

“It doesn’t matter y/n, that’s all in the past now. It’s just the way things turned out.” He finishes.

“Now I have a question for you.” Johnny says.

“Go ahead.” You answer.

“How did you find out Jaehyun was a vampire anyway? And since when did you chill at the clan’s house?” He asks confused.

“Today actually. It’s kind of a funny story...” You trail off once you see Johnny isn’y amused. You give Johnny a quick recap of the adventure you’ve been through today and silently wait for him to give you feedback. 

“Well, it looks like you’ve had quite a busy day.” Johnny finishes right before the two of you come upon the pack house. “Sorry for the long walk by the way, it goes a lot faster when we run it but you can’t run so....”

“It’s ok Johnny, I enjoyed talking with you.” You say, lightly rubbing his arm.

“Now i’m going to warn you, my pack is extremely rowdy and very friendly. Like we hate being called dogs, but they act like little puppies, so just be prepared.” He says, nervous since you’re finally meeting the guys who are like his second family and he was nowhere near prepared for this today.

“Don’t worry Johnny, I’m sure i’ll love them!” You say, wanting to hurry and get inside the house. The two of you slowly approach the door. Before you even have the chance to knock, the door is swung open, and you’re met with a guy with the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

“Y/n!” The guy yells, pulling you in for a hug right away. “I’ve heard so much about you! I’ve been dying to meet you, but Johnny here is so annoying.” The guy says rolling his eyes. Already you can tell that these guys are going to be the complete opposite of what they looked like at the clan house.

“Hey!” Johnny says nudging the guy in the shoulder. “Anyway, y/n this is my other best friend Ten, hence the reason he knows so much about you.” 

“Awe you talk about me?? That’s so cute!” You say reaching out and pinching one of Johnny’s cheeks.

“She likes to tease Johnny? I love her already!” Says a boy running down the stairs. The boy has beautiful olive skin and bright red dyed hair. “I’m Donghyuck, and I can already tell we’re gonna be great friends.” Donghyuck says running up to you with a smile.

“Hyuck, don’t bombard the guests!” Another boy says while also running down the stairs. This one has dark black hair and a paler complexion, and he’s thin but with a strong, lean build. “I’m Mark! I’m really close with Johnny, so I assume that we’ll get along well.” Mark says with a smile lighting up his entire face.

“It’s so nice to meet you all!” You say smiling, already able to tell that you’re gonna like this guys. However, everyone settles down fast when the Alpha comes down.

“Y/n, this is Yuta, our alpha, as you could probably tell from before.” Johnny says quietly.

“Johnny, can I talk to you in the kitchen please?” Yuta says, turning around and walking into the kitchen without waiting for an answer.

“Uh yeah sure, can you guys keep her entertained for a bit?” Johnny responds, scuttling after Yuta.

The boys end up getting along with you very quickly, and in the short time Johnny and Yuta are in the kitchen, the four of you are best friends. Johnny returns and pulls you to the side for a second.

“Nothing bad happened, but I just wanted to let you know that Yuta seems cold because he doesn’t fully trust you yet. It’s nothing against you personally, but the first time he saw you, you were in a house full of vampires.” Johnny says.

“It’s ok, I completely understand.” You say, sending Johnny a small grin.

“Y/n hurry back, we’re going to play Mario Kart now!” Donghyuck yells.

“Coming!” You yell back.

“Y/n it’s getting kind of late...” Johnny starts to say.

“Please, just one game!” You say, putting on your best pouty face.

“...fine, just one game. You’re going down!” Johnny says running to the couch.

“Hey!” You yell back, running after him.

One round of Mario Kart turns into five, with you and Ten tied as first place and Johnny insisting that it’s time he take you home.

“Well, it was fun guys.” You say, stretching and getting up from the couch.

“No, y/n don’t leave!” Mark pouts.

“Guys it’s late, I have to take her home.” Johnny says.

“Well text in the groupchat.” Ten mouths at you with a wink. You bid everyone goodbye as you and Johnny get into his car so that he can take you home.

“I love your pack, they’re all so sweet.” You say with a tired smile.

“I knew you would. They’re like a second family to me, and I don’t know what I’d do without them.” He says with a grin.

“I’m happy you have them.” You reply.

The two of you return to your house and you give Johnny a quick hug. 

“Get some rest ok? You’ve had an extremely long day.” Johnny says with concern.

“Don’t worry, I’m all over it. Goodnight.” You say, finally walking into your house. Kicking off your shoes, you walk up to your room and plop straight onto your bed, sending Jaehyun a speedy text that you’re safe. It was an extremely intense day and all you want to now is go to sleep. Quickly throwing on some clothes to sleep in, you hop into bed and let your dreams take you away.

________

The vibrating of your phone tears you away from your slumber. Sunlight peaks in through the curtains of your room and you squint in order to let your eyes adjust. Stretching over to your nightstand to grab you phone, you see that you have two unread text messages.

Jaehyun: Hey y/n! Wanna hang out with the clan and I today?

Johnny: Hey y/n! Wanna hang out with pack and I today?

Thinking for a moment, you go to reply to....

___________________________________________________________________

Amnesia Pt.2 | Taeyong

A/N: Is it that part 2 is finally here?! I’m so sorry guys i’ve been remarkably busy nowadays and I didn’t really have the time to write part 2- but here it is~ 

Pt.1, Pt.2

Taeyong’s POV

Summary: After an accident, Taeyong, your boyfriend, was left comatose, and you were forbidden by families on both sides from meeting Taeyong again. After a few months, you were informed of Taeyong’s awakening, only to be struck with the news that he had lost most of his memory. You still loved him, you never stopped, but did feelings on your part matter when the guy you loved did not even know who you were?

Word Count: 3,961 (I literally put my heart and soul into this)

Style/ Genre: Scenario/ Angst

Date posted: 31/08/17

*To clear any confusion, the numbers over here refers to the months AFTER the accident happened, just as in part 1. They do NOT refer to the months after Taeyong has woken up from his coma.

Zero.

I looked at the road ahead. (Y/N) was in the wrong lane, but the traffic was clear. I admit that I felt kind of uneasy as if something was about to happen, but I decided to keep quiet since I knew that (Y/N) liked to do things her own way. Furthermore, it would be better for her to have more space while driving since she’s still a beginner. The road’s clear, everything’s alright, right?

Guess not.

It all happened in a flash, and before my vision blurred, I fuzzily saw the scene in front of me: smoke billowing out from the front of my car and the toppled over vehicle a few metres away, gruesome blood dripping from the tip of my fingers, and (Y/N) passed out in her seat with her head craned upwards.

Then, darkness consumed me.

One.

There was a patch of plain white. White, white and only white, as if it was my whole world, my only world. What was happening? Was I blind? Wait, am I even alive? Where was I?

“Are you kidding me, she actually dared to come here? Here? ----- What did she expect, to come back all safe and recovered, to my poor son who’s still comatose? To be welcomed with open arms? Is that it? ----- -hat a witch! I can’t believe such a person entered Taeyong’s life.” I heard a voice brimming evidently with spite and hatred, although not all the words seemed to register coherently into my mind.

“Mum... Calm down. ---- -as severely hurt too, furthermore, the accident wasn’t completely her fau-”

“SHUT IT! Never say that name again. If you ever mention her name in this household, don’t expect to come back.” The shrill, high-pitched and agitated voice of a seemingly older woman cut another woman off, who sounded to be the daughter of the former.

Mum? Sis? 

I tried to speak, but it was as if my mouth was sealed tight.

I attempted to move my finger, but no matter how much willpower I put in, it seemed like the most difficult and exhausting thing to do..

I sighed mentally, giving up and letting myself be consumed by the growing grey clouding my vision of white.

Two.

I had a vision. I saw two people - a woman and man. However, both the man’s and woman’s faces were blurred. They were on a couch in a room exuding a warm and comforting ambience. The man had his arms around the woman, enveloping her in a secure yet gentle embrace. They laughed heartily as both of them looked at each other with inexplicable expressions, the entirety of their eyes filled with something, something incomprehensible. The expression they wore for each other was as if they were looking at their galaxy, they were looking at something that was so precious, they would find it nowhere else in the universe. 

I realised then, it was love in their eyes.

I realised then too, that man was me.

Three.

It had been awhile since I realised that I was in a coma. After numerous struggles with some invisible force, and buzzing of voices here and there from some “outside” world, it was quite obvious that I was in fact, trapped in my own world of comatoseness. 

From what I had heard from the “outside” world, it had been three months, yet I was still trapped in this state. It had been three months since I had regained mental consciousness, yet I was still unconscious physically. Thus, for the past three months, I had only been able to consume myself with thoughts and voices of people from outside, and also random visions that appear in my mind from time to time. Every time, it was something different. Yet, there always was a couple. Every time after the vision had faded off, I had always managed to realise that the guy was me. However, the girl’s face had been blurred out in all of the visions. They all seemed so realistic, but at the same time, too idealistic. Somehow, I convinced myself that these visions were just part of my imagination.

“Taeyong-ah...” A familiar mellow voice from outside called out from beside me.

Sis?

“Taeyong-ah, I-I miss you so much...” Her voice cracked, as she choked up.

I could image my sister with tears running down her cheeks, red nose and swollen eyes. I wish I could reach out to comfort her, just like the many other times I did so whenever she cried, but I couldn’t.

“Taeyong, do you know how hard it had been? Over the past 3 months, I always return home expecting you to run down the stairs to welcome me back home or be in the kitchen helping Mum with dinner. It had become a habit of mine. But ever since.. ever since the accident...... Ugh, I still refuse to grasp onto reality. Taeyong, please wake up soon.”

Sis...

“I know I shouldn’t mention this but... It has been killing me inside out -- literally. (Y/N), she... She really misses you.”

(Y/N)? Why did that name sound so familiar yet foreign?

“I saw her a few days ago. She looked like hell. I don’t think she has gotten over you or the accident yet. I didn’t dare to approach her, but she was wearing the pendant necklace that you gave her, fiddling with it like she always did whenever she was anxious while waiting for you at home.”

(Y/N)...? Pendant...?

“Come back, Taeyong. I miss you, she misses you, we all do actually. Please wake up soon, I beg of you.” Those were of Sis’s last sobbing pleads that I heard before darkness consumed me again, blocking out all noises from the outside world.

“Happy 4th anniversary~” The guy, who was I myself, chirped happily.

“Happy 4th anniversary too, Oppa~” A blurred face girl hummed, voice filled with the soothing tune of love.

I reached into the pocket of my jacket, taking out a beautiful yet simple blue jewellery box. The girl immediately noticed the box, her line of vision trailing the box. Opening the box with my right hand while gently holding the base of it with my left, I looked up at the girl with anxious hope. Revealing an ethereally and elaborately designed snowflake as the pendant, I picked the necklace up, putting the box back into my pocket and raising it up in front of the girl’s face.

“This snowflake represents myself -- fragile and delicate -- and because I trust you, I love you, I’m putting my heart with you in hope that you will care for my love, my fragile soul.” I stumble over my words slightly, nervousness kicking in as I glanced hopefully at the girl in front of me.

“I... I don’t know what to say.. This is.. truly amazing. Y-yes, Oppa. I promise to handle your love with care. I promise to return you with the same amount of love.” Gleeful tears started cascading down her cheeks as she embraced me tightly into her arms.

I felt so blessed, so happy, so elated right then as if nothing else mattered. Only my love for her mattered.

The vision disappeared as quickly as it came.

The visions were all real. They were not just my imagination.

Four.

I woke up. I really woke up.

It was unreal.

For a few days, there weren't any visions occurring at all. However, one day, when the patches of white I always saw was fully clouded with grey, colours started streaming into my vision. Slowly, but surely, my vision was greeted by the reality of the actual outside world, and I took in the scene of a middle-aged couple in front of me rushing to my bed side as they frantically called for the doctors.

I was awake.

“Do you know what your name is, sir?” A man with a slight stubble on his face with a pristine white coat donned on asked me. Doctor Oh, the tag above his breast pocket read.

“N-No...” I glanced around confusedly, my line of sight eventually stopping on the middle-aged couple, their wrinkled faces donning on worried expressions.

“Hmmm.. Do you recognise any of them?” Doctor Oh gestured towards the couple that I was staring at. 

“T-Taeyong dear, d-do you remember me?” The lady of the pair squeaked. She was beautiful, but wrinkles and eye bags decorated her face - evident signs of her age and the amount of stress she had been under recently.

I recognised her voice. It was the voice that I had constantly heard while comatose.

“Mum...?” I answered unsurely.

Upon my answer, the lady’s eyes widened, and almost immediately, she broke down into the man’s arms, incoherently sobbing “He recognises me.. He recognises me! Praise the God!”

I turned my head to look at the man who held Mum in his arms firmly.

“Dad..?” 

His head whipped almost instantly towards me, glistening tears forming in the corner of his eyes as he nodded his head vigorously.

Five.

I had learnt that almost all of my memory had been wiped out. Other than my family, that consisted of my parents and my sister, I could not recognise anybody else or remember a single memory from before the fateful accident happened. It was tough, especially when unrecognisable people would randomly appear in your hospital room, claiming that they were your friends when you could only smile awkwardly and apologetically at them.

Nonetheless, I was well and fully recovered. Hence, after another few weeks of inpatient hospital stay to conduct a few final tests for the finalised results, I was discharged from the hospital and allowed to return home.

“Sis! What are you baking?” I hopped into the kitchen excitedly, a smile on my face as I witness my sister kneading dough.

“Oh, Taeyong! Oh gosh, I love hearing your sickening voice on a daily basis again.” My sister, who was caught by surprise by me, joked playfully.

“Wow, Sis, I am sickeningly honoured.” I rolled my eyes mischievously, sarcasm dripping out from my mouth.

My sister chuckled. “I’m making chocolate chip cookies, your favourite.” 

“Sounds good,” I took a glance at the clock: 2.08 p.m. “Oh shit! I forgot I was meeting Johui! I’ll be back later Sis!” 

“Yep, sure! Say hi to Johui for me!”

I grabbed my jacket hastily and rushed out of the house, jogging towards the cafe that I had promised Johui to meet at. Johui was a distant cousin of mine. After I had awakened from my coma, my parents had arranged an internal celebration with my relatives, which also gave me the opportunity to have my relatives reintroduced to me after my major memory loss. Johui had come to me, naturally slinging an arm around my shoulders while on her tiptoes, which immediately had me tensed up for a moment. However, after she had introduced herself, both of us clicked really easily. As Johui had explained to me, both of us were really close as cousins, and were literally ‘inseperable’ as kids. However, Johui’s family had migrated to Canada a few years ago, and since then we had hardly been in touch. Johui’s family had specially flown back into Korea to celebrate my awakening and would be staying in Korea for the next month.

“Ya! Lee Taeyong! You dare to be late, in my presence?” Johui’s high-pitched voice semi-blared into my face, as she shoved me playfully in the shoulder.

“Woah there princess, I didn’t mean to! I didn’t see the time, plus I’m still unfamiliar with the neighbourhood okayy” I raised both of my hands in surrender as I attempted to justify the reason behind my late-coming.

Johui laughed heartily as she nodded her head, light-heartedly accepting my excuse. 

Johui and I walked down the street, my arm slung around her shoulder as we casually joked with and talked to each other. We reminisced the childhood memories that only Johui seemed to remember but informed me of, and we talked about almost anything under the sun. The atmosphere was one of cheerfulness and ecstasy. I felt free and simply blissful. My heart was full of joy and bursting with life. I felt alive.

As we were walking, laughter still reverberating from our chests, I felt an unusual sensation from behind me. Johui was on my right, and I glanced towards my left at the road. The street we were on was narrow, and my eye seemed to momentarily stop on a lady who was turning around to face counter-direction from us at that moment when I turned towards her side of the street. But that was not before I saw the expression on her face.

It was heartbreaking.

Her expression was one of pure sorrow, raw, vulnerable and easily breakable. No. She looked like she was already broken, shredded to pieces. No matter how heartbreaking the expression she wore on her face was, I should not be too bothered by it. But then something caught my eye. Something that glistened under the sun.

A snowflake pendant around her neck.

I sprinted home.

I told Johui that I had something to do, and almost immediately after I had made up that silly excuse, I ran off, abandoning her on the streets.

I tried to ignore the tightening feeling in my chest as buildings after buildings passed by me in a blur. Not now, just not now. Not until I have confirmed it with my own eyes.

I barged into the house, instantly shocking my sister who had just finished her baking. 

“What’s wrong, Taeyong?!” She yelled, alarmed.

I ignored her, not stopping until I collapsed in front of my bed in my room, pulling out the cardboard box that was hidden deep under. A box that Mum had kept there ever since my accident. I ripped the cover of the cardboard box apart, rummaging through the items in it.

My hands foraged the messy pile, pulling out a framed photograph.

I stared at the photograph, the faces of a couple reflecting back at me.

It was me.

Smiling so brightly.

Looking so vibrant.

It was her.

The girl I saw on the streets.

It was her.

(Y/N).

The snowflake pendant peeked through the slit of her blouse, its silvery outward appearance shimmering distinctively.

Memories of the visions I saw while in my coma came rushing into my mind. Everything seemed to click. (Y/N) was the blurred face girl. I had given her the necklace. The snowflake pendant was an indication of my love, our love.

We were in love. 

Without any warning, all the past memories with (Y/N) plummeted into my heart, the happy, the sad, the unforgettable. Every one of them all.

My chest tightened immensely, and the heart-wrenching feeling was unbearable. I sobbed uncontrollably, and screams of agony escaped my lungs as if they were savage prisoners let loose.

“Taeyong what hap- ..Oh.” My sister rushed to the entrance of my room, only to stop short upon witnessing the scene in front of her -- numerous items that represented the love between (Y/N) and I, strewn across my whole bedroom floor. 

I never forgot her. I had never forgotten (Y/N). She was in my heart the whole time, but why didn’t I know earlier? My screams were uncontrollable, and with every scream, my heart shook with torment. I loved her, I still did.

I felt my sister’s arms wrap around my curled up body, clutching me in a warm and firm hold that provided me with no comfort. Instead, her next words ripped me into even more pieces.

“I-I’m sorry, Taeyong.” 

Six.

I fought with my parents. Eventually, I had learnt of the reason why I did not know of (Y/N) earlier after I had woken from my coma. They were the reason. I was enraged. The names that spewed out of my mother’s mouth was oxygen to the burning flame in me. ‘Witch’, ‘demon’, ‘curse’. I had remembered everything about (Y/N), and she was nothing like that. It was ridiculous that my mother had blamed everything on (Y/N). It was only God’s play of games.

As frustration consumed my entire being, I stomped out of the house, slamming the door on the way out. The fire in me burned non-stop. I was downright irate. 

Somehow, I found myself in front of the neighbourhood library. It was a huge library with a stairway leading to its entrance, and suddenly a memory struck me.

It was how I first got to meet (Y/N).

“Oft! G-Gosh! I can’t believe they kicked me out of the library, my heaven!?” The girl opposite me shrieked, her voice laced with utter disbelief.

I whipped my head to glare at her. “You mean ‘we’, you woman?! If it was not for you, we wouldn’t have been kicked out!” I snapped back at her with the same degree of disbelief.

The lady’s head snapped towards me I was surprised her head did not dislocate. She glared at me with menace, before letting out a scowl.

“Excuse me, man? I obviously picked up the book first. What are you talking about? YOU were the one that caused us to be kicked out.” 

This woman was utterly ridiculous. 

It happened when both of us reached for the last copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on the shelf in the library, and I kid you not, this book was extremely hard to get your hands on in the library, considering the popularity of J.K Rowling’s globally acclaimed series. Let’s just say, it resulted in a verbal brawl between the both of us, and since we were being a public nuisance in the library, we were instantly kicked out, and that landed us in our current situation.

I bit the inside of my cheeks, desperately containing myself from yelling at the lady. I might have been really fired up, but I’m a gentleman. 

Forcing a smile on my face, I looked at the lady with fictitious friendliness and said in the most forcefully calm voice ever, “Now, I don’t think either of us would want to start another argument, ya? So how about forget about the previous incident and talk peacefully. Let’s start afresh, shall we? I don’t think we left a very good first impression on both of us,” I raised my hand in front of me towards the lady, “I’m Lee Taeyong.”

The lady looked at me and my hand sceptically for a moment, before submitting to my offer.

“I’m (Y/F/N).” 

As we had our hands in each other’s, it was the start of something lasting and unforgettable.

I smiled bitterly at the memory, before deciding to visit the library which I had not been able to go ever since my awakening. 

I was casually walking through the endless shelves of books when something caught my eye. 

A familiar wisp of hair, the familiar silhouette of that someone I had been yearning for, but could not go back to.

She was at the bookshelf ‘ROW’. The bookshelf. The same bookshelf that both of us quarrelled at upon our first meeting. She stopped in front of the exact place where the Harry Potter series would be found, and her delicate fingers skimmed across the spines of the books on the shelves, halting when they landed on ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’. She picked it up from the shelf, freezing in place and stared at it melancholy. All of a sudden, tears started to effortlessly roll down her cheeks. Seemingly snapped out of her trance, she wiped her tears hastily, then glancing up cautiously, as if afraid of anybody catching her in this embarrassing moment. 

But then she made eye contact with me. Her eyes widened a fraction, but I did not break away my gaze. I continued staring at her, and the heart-wrenching feeling was back, clenching my heart like a barbed wire chained around it. I wanted to take her into my embrace, but I couldn’t, I shouldn’t.

(Y/N) broke away from my stare, but then look back up at me again. I made no attempts to divert my gaze away from her. Realising that I was still staring at her, her posture stiffened and she put the book back on the shelf, walking away.

The feeling in my chest was overwhelming, but I couldn’t help it, neither could I control it. I knew that I shouldn’t since my parents were opposed to it, but it was my life, it was my heart, it was my choice. I could not just forget (Y/N) so easily like that. Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed a post-it note from one of the nearby library desks and a pen, striding towards the bookshelf that (Y/N) was initially at. Clicking the pen, I wrote on the post-it note the words that I had been containing in my heart for a long time and stuck it in the copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows that (Y/N) had previously picked up, reliving the memory of the birth of this phrase in my head.

 ‘You’ll still always be my always. I never forgot about you. -T.Y’

Sighing, I put the book back on the shelf and dragged myself towards the exit of the library.

Stepping down from the last step of the stairway leading to the entrance of the library, I heard a yell from behind.

“L-Lee Taeyong, wait!”

That voice.

I turned my head back, hope suddenly filling up the void in my chest.

There she came, stumbling down the flight of stairs with a flushed face. My post-it note was in her hand.

With staggering breaths, (Y/N) peered at me expectantly.

“T-Taeyong..”

I merely looked at her indifferently, stuffing my hands in my pocket as I internally struggled to control myself and not hug her right then, waiting for her to continue.

“T-Taeyong, you remember me? (Y/N)..?” She tripped over her words, nervousness and anxiety evident in her voice.

I nodded, still trying hard to maintain my indifferent demeanour.

(Y/N) looked up at me with her watery eyes, which looked like crystal balls as the water in her eyes caused them to glisten with a mystical gleam.

As if something suddenly struck her, (Y/N) straightened her posture, forcefully putting a smile on her face, masking the anguish that was shown on her face.

“Let’s start afresh, shall we?” She raised her hand out towards me. “I’m (Y/F/N).”

Looking down at her hand, I grasped it firmly after a moment of hesitation.

“I’m Lee Taeyong.” 

Our hands remained in a handshake position for a few seconds, as if time had been paused, and all of a sudden, (Y/N) let go of my hand and hurriedly swung both of her arms around my neck, as if she had been holding back for a long time, just like I had been.

In her comforting and gentle embrace, I finally felt myself relax. She still had the same effect on me, after all this time. 

“I missed you so much, Taeyong.”

I let my arms wrap around her figure hungrily as if desperate to feel the shape of her again, as if to remind myself that she was my solace. 

“I missed you too. So much.”

When your love runs deep, it is unbreakable, it is unforgettable. In the race of love, nothing serves as a barrier. We were tied by invisible strings which never allow us to be separated emotionally and mentally. Physical distance does not restrain the boundaries that it can overcome. Our love was strong and it broke all impossibilities in the world. Our bond was something formidable.

I would never forget her. And I would never stop loving her. For all of my life.

Crazy 8 ( chapter 05)

Walking alone through the muddied trail my thoughts taunt my heart. And while I have no, no not even the slightest recollection, I'm sure she was cold, and yet loyal. This is the darkest side of addiction, the part we seldom speak of because it's just too fucking painful.

I'm not proud. But I've told you that I would tell you the all of this. And though it wounds me, so I shalll

Peering into the darkness,  I have no choice other than loathing him. He had seen me at my lowest, invaded my deepest privacy, seen me at tthe highest I had been in years,  the rarest of rare, the Boxcar, 2  Crazy 8s less than an hour apart, and then the third when I realized he had seen me.

I woke up on a freezing ass morning with a shivering Sally Pickles at my side. I recognized the place, High Bridge Park. We were under the bridge. We were half dead and freezing.

Glancing down at my blister covered feet I realize that I have dragged this poor dog, my baby miles across the Bronx. For what, I have no clue. At that moment I was ashamed to the point of being suicidal.

The guilt is unbearable, the anguish and pain. It was neglect, unintended, but still neglect. And while we must all make account for our own sins, my beloved husband Ivan bears the guilt, or at the very least his king's share of the guilt in this travesty.

Had that selfish deviant stayed away, as ordered in court, I would have had surely stayed home that night.

Simply put, he is a selfish son of a bitch, a self centered, sex addict who constantly plays the role of the innocent victim all too well to actually be the innocent victim. He's a fucking, no, a mother fucking low life scumbag! And yet I confess that I still love him. But I am unable to be married to him anymore. I just can't be!

The pain of losing Sally Pickles is un fucking bearable. I will never forgive myself for this, for the suffering I probably caused her on these worst of nights. Nor will I ever forgive myself for allowing that cock sucker, bastard son of a bitch, my beloved husband Ivan into my life.

Simply put, Ivan is going through my life as if he were a wrecking ball in a china closet. And it can be no mere coincidence that no matter where I am, no matter the time of day, he shows up, having no reason on earth to be where I am at the that moment in time.

I've come here this dreary night to punish myself. I've come here to confess this sin to a friend. I've come here to slam the bitch, Tina, with him.

I doubt he'll show up. No one ever does.

Then a figure appears in the distance along the trail, that familiar wave, that walk. Oh my God he came!

Oh my God you look great! I've never seen this side of you. His shy grin which could melt any heart lit up the night. "Well, I'm afraid to let people see me like this. I'm not as confident as you." But , what's wrong? Rose, why are you crying? " I Burst out uncontrollably and he wrapped his arms around me? "Rose, where's Sally Pickles? What happened to Sally Pickles? " My knees buckled and he helped me to a bench.

Sitting there in High Bridge Park,  I poured out my pain and he listened and wiped my tears away. And then he laid my head in his lap and I fell asleep.

Can you walk on the outside please as we walked along the trail. I'm safe when you're with me, like when you walk the outside I know you care.

He didn't care. Yeah, he kept saying, "Hey, I have no problem giving you money. And any time you wanna come over and earn some of this I'd love to have ya. His name was Stephen and he was beautiful.

We had met at a Crystal Meth Anonymous meeting. A kind friend who can sometimes be incredibly tough, but with a kind heart had bought him there. From the beginning we were very attracted to each other.

We ended up sharing the night, an amazing night, a night in the absence of our mutual turmoils.

When I began to sob again he darted behind me and covered my eyes with his  beautiful hands. "Trust me" he whispered in my ear and kissed it softy. Then he stopped me and turned me to my right. Telling me, "I want you to find strength and hope in this. Open your eyes."

It was fucking amazing! We were standing in the middle of High Bridge looking at the Manhattan skyline, lit up in all its glory. Nothing any person has ever done has meant so much to me!

And I won't lie and say that we we went back to his apartment to make love. Plain and simple, we went there to fuck, to fuck hard! And I have to say, It was the best sex I had had in fucking years! He slammed a gram and then slammed me a gram. "Surprise!" Oh my! It was a crazy fucking 8!

With every thrust waves of insanity and pleasure poured over me to the point where it was almost frightening!  And I put on a show for him! Yes, I put on quite the show!

A week later the bitch, Tina, she took him. She's taking everything and everyone from me. I'm in fucking ruins!

My life is over. I fucking know it. Based on what events take place today, tomorrow I'm not going to appear in court.  I'm going to let Ivan win.

I just have no reason to move forward. All has been already lost and should the subsequent damage be the loss of my freedom, how much more free would I not be in eternity?

The son of a bitch beat me, my only crime being that I loved him and forbade him from knowing the bitch, Tina. But he never loved  me and left me that he might be with her, the bitch, Tina. In the end you'll know what plays out. I'm no longer the only one involved on my end.

It's almost queer how those that Ivan loathed, especially the social worker from The Door now run his life. Of a truth, I honestly believe that mother fucker was the same guy Ivan told me he made movies having sex with under aged boys with!

It's as though enemies, demons of the bitch, Tina, are working behind the sober side of reality to pull me closer to her, closer to my end, closer to my Philip. It's all a clear blur in the night.

In the pitch, Ivan is Philip and he Ivan. All has become Ivan and I have become consumed to the point of my end in him.

I loved him and he took my life.

Now, I have always been more of a believer in Old Testament rather than new.

With that in mind I may murder a man  who seems to have disappeared with my shit, today, the shit I was going to use to fucking kill myself to escape this fucking torture!

This clueless dick head better come up with my shit or he is going to catch a beating today. I swear to mother fucking God I will hurt this mother fucker. I can't take this fucking pain Terry. Please come through with my shit! You mother fucker! Even my own fucking mother is not trying to stop me!

And let me tell you, I have a mother unlike any mother ever to walk the earth. Knowing how I suffer she has agreed to let me go, the absolutely fucking hardest sacrifice a mother can make. Thus it should be known; For she loves me so that she has taken on the insufferable, that I might find peace in the sky with my Philip, that when he is released again from my heart, my mind, my dreams we can finally be together again where we will dance across the sky with the clouds beneath our  feet.

I don't really want to fucking die. And yet I do and always have. By the time this is read it may be in the best interests of many, rather than the personal need of my own wants and desires to be gone. "The good of the many outweighing the need of this one." And don't think me very fucking noble about that! It's just, I have never had the fucking stomach for the violence that I know that I'm fucking capable of.

I mean, Jesus fucking Christ I know how to build bombs, PIES so well you would be looking at them swearing they're not real. Why was I shown such a beautiful horror? What was the cause of teaching this future addict the craft of I.E.Ds?

But I have only one thing left in this life, my word. I took an oath on August 29th, 2002, never to use the tools this government taught me against this country. And for four reasons I will not break the oath 1, though he may hate me, an oath is before God, almighty, 2, my mother, 3, my dad, 4, I just don't have it in me to hurt people.

I'm not my husband, a man who is less, by far less than a man, a man who, void of conscience ruins lives wherever and everywhere he goes!

I mean, I won't lie and have you believe that I am incapable of leaving a life in ruin.

An old boyfriend from long ago, John, often referred to me as "Oppenheimer, the destroyer of worlds!" He hated that trapped animalistic side of me. Still, even he would admit that I was not without compassion and mercy.

Ivan, now fueled by crack and the bitch, Tina is simply a creature of greed and hatred. That I could never be!

Throwing Books At Poorly Constructed Walls (Bitney) -Lemonade

AN: Based on the prompt: “We live in adjacent apartments/hotel rooms and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall.” I think I deviated a bit from the original idea, but it laid the foundation for this fic. Most of the italics = inner monologue. Hope you guys enjoy!!! (also sorry to biadore shippers i got y'all next time) 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Roy rolled his eyes, head falling back in frustration. “Does this kid ever take a fucking break? This is the fifth day in a row.” He sputtered under his breath as he stomped angrily across his bed room floor. “Hey, douchebag!�� Roy pounded his fist against the dingy white wall. “These walls are paper fucking thin; You’ve kept me up for the past week, asshole.” There was a fleeting moment of silence which fooled Roy into thinking he’d actually be getting some sleep tonight. Keep going, was huffed out on the opposite side of his wall before the obnoxious moaning continued louder than before. Roy’s mouth dropped open. Now he was certain that his new neighbor was put on this earth for the sole purpose of making his life a living hell with a porno playing in the background. So for the fifth day in a row, Roy gathered up his pillows and blankets, headed for the living room couch. He was sure to throw the closest item, a book he never had the time to read, against the wall before exiting.

—

“Oh hell no.” The gross moaning almost everyday was one thing, but this? Absolutely not. Roy would rather have a constant audio loop of the Australian’s sexual escapades playing in his ear for the next five years than hear his shrill singing for the next five minutes. The blond was pulled out of his bubble as, yet again, his bitter old neighbor banged violently against his wall. “Would you shut the fuck up?! Seriously, are you incapable of being quiet for a millisecond?” Shane scoffed.

“Are you incapable of not complaining for a millisecond? You’ve been beating on my wall every goddamn day since I moved in!”

“Because you never shut up!”

“I can make all the noise I’d like to! It’s my apartment, I pay just as much rent here as you do.”

Shane heard an unknown object being tossed against their wall from the opposite side. “And throwing shit like a child isn’t going to solve anything.” He jumped as a heavier item was thrown.

—

It had to be a miracle. No sex noises. No singing. Just quiet. Peace and quiet. Roy pondered for a brief moment why exactly that was. Had he finally gained enough decency to not bring his hookups back home with him, keeping Roy up to all hours of the night? Was he just waiting until Roy got comfortable in bed before blowing him out of the water with some odd combination of his high pitched singing and kind of sexy, a hundred percent annoying moans and whimpers? Had he just dropped dead? Whatever the case may be, Roy wasn’t going to let this rare taste of serenity slip from his grasp. He hurriedly prepared for bed, hoping to be asleep before Shane inevitably started up his antics again.

Roy got in a few hours of sleep, admittedly more than he expected, before being awoken by his crude neighbor. He tossed and turned, attempting to ignore the sounds he was far too into unconsciousness to truly register. He danced on the line of slumber, ultimately giving up any chance of falling back to sleep when the racket emitting from the adjacent room grew more unsettling. Was he…crying? That was a new one.

Roy contemplated if he should even say anything. They hadn’t exactly been cordial to each other since Shane moved in. The sobbing grew more worrisome, no matter how malevolent Roy could come across he didn’t enjoy seeing (or hearing) anyone in distress. He knocked on the wall this time, a stark contrast to the usual aggressive pounding. A sniffle was audible through the thin structure. “What?” Shane answered with a sharp edge to his tone. Can’t this guy leave me alone for once? “I wanted to know if you were okay.” God, I try to be nice for once in my life and I get attitude in return. “I can hear you crying over there.” Oh, Shane thought. He felt embarrassed, more so by the standoffish way he first responded to Roy when he was only being kind, or the fact that Roy actually heard him crying, he wasn’t sure. Probably an even mixture of the two.

He swallowed down the growing lump in his throat, trying desperately to build a convincing facade before answering again. “I’m fine.” Shane croaked out, voice breaking at the last second. Totally believable Shane, great job. He internally rolled his eyes at himself. “That’s a load of shit.” Roy was quick to call him out. He could literally hear him crying, what was the point of lying to him? “Boohooing alone in your room isn’t going to solve anything. Tell me what’s wrong.” Roy always had this protective instinct. He if knew someone was struggling, he had to help. He tried to push it down as much as he possibly could, though it was a futile effort for the most part. Roy Haylock just had to accept that, he was in fact, a decent human being with a heart of gold.

“I’m lonely.” Shane blurted out. He felt idiotic the moment he did. What he felt was valid, he knew that, but something about saying it out loud made him feel almost juvenile. “You don’t seem very lonely.” Roy couldn’t help but to crack a joke. A heart of gold that may be a little insensitive at times. He was working on it. Shane rolled his tear filled eyes. “That’s just sex…” He trailed off.

Silence filled the rooms. Roy wondered if he offended the man with his poorly timed joke. He figuratively kicked himself in the ass for it. You’ve got to stop doing that. Not everybody copes the way you do. “Everyone I care about is back in Australia.” Shane’s voice cut through the grueling quiet. Roy’s eyes darted up at the sound, thankful he hadn’t added to his anguish. “I came here, and I’m making less money than I did when I was eighteen, living in a rat hole of an apartment.” We live in the same apartment building, asshole. “It’s wearing on me. I don’t want to go home and have to say I couldn’t make it, but staying here seems more daunting everyday.”

Roy could hear the pain and disappointment laced in Shane’s words; It made him want to engulf the man in the largest, warmest hugs he could ever give someone. His feelings for Shane were quite literally changing overnight. If someone told Roy he’d feel anything other than a deep seeded hatred for his disruptive, discourteous neighbor he would have thrown up on their shoes. “Look, why don’t you come to my show tomorrow night?” It was the oldest cliché in the book, but Roy wholeheartedly believed laughter was the best medicine. He’d lost track of how many times someone came up to him after a gig saying that for a few hours he provided an escape for them, that they had forgotten all of their problems temporarily and laughed without a care in the world. Shane seemed like he could use that.

“Show? What do you do?” Oh that’s right, I hated him up until ten minutes ago. He knows virtually nothing about me. “I’m a comedian.” Shane found that…interesting. He didn’t know much about the man in the opposite apartment, but comedy was the absolute last career field he’d guess he was in. Professional pain in the ass seemed more likely–Or a school librarian. Roy shushed him through a wall everyday; Shane could perfectly picture him doing it to a rowdy group of high school students.

“I’ll slip the address under your door in the morning.” Roy added.

“Sounds good.”

Silence fell over them once again. They both wondered if the other had fallen asleep.

“Roy?”

“Yeah, Shane?”

“Thanks.”

“If you really want to thank me you’ll be quiet for the rest of the night and let me sleep.”

What a cunt. I think I actually like him.

—

The next morning Shane found a piece of paper under his door as Roy promised. He was almost expecting the previous evening to have been a prank, or some hallucination brought on by extreme sadness. Anything seemed more probable than his perpetually disgruntled neighbor actually trying to cheer him up.

Shane briefly scanned the note, realizing Roy wrote more than an address:

I perform under Bianca, not Roy.

The opening act starts at 10:30, I go on a little after 11:00.

You should try to make the opening act. The kid’s extremely talented, he’s a singer too (though he doesn’t keep me up all night singing spice girls songs on the top of his lungs). I’ll introduce you to him after the show.

Though Shane rolled his eyes at the comment, he had to admit he was excited to meet this “extremely talented” singer. He would be excited to meet anyone new, really. He hadn’t exactly made friends since moving to America a few months ago. Still, all his curiosity laid with Roy–Bianca? He couldn’t picture him up on stage making people laugh instead of throwing books at poorly constructed walls.

—

What an interesting turn of events. Just two days ago Roy had been scolding Shane through the wall that divided them, now Shane was sitting at a bar waiting to see Roy perform, as per Roy’s request. He ordered a drink and waited for this opening act that Roy insisted on him not missing.

“Please welcome to the stage, Adore Delano!” This must be it. Shane couldn’t decide if Adore was a woman or just a really pretty dude in a wig, but that was hardly important. Roy was right, the kid was talented. Shane had been completely enthralled by their performance. Adore had a beautiful energy that washed over the entire room, lighting Shane up right away, before Roy–Bianca even came on stage. By the end of Adore’s set Shane was about ten times more excited to meet them. What if they’re dating? The out of the blue, unwanted thought seeped into Shane’s mind. So what if they’re dating? I don’t like Roy like that, why am I even thinking about this? But did he like Roy? He had to admit, Roy even bothering to check on him last night caused an odd feeling of warmth towards the practically-stranger. Then being invited here, given a glimpse into his life, made him feel more connected to Roy than he ever thought possible. Hm, maybe I do like him.

“Please welcome to the stage, Bianca Del Rio!” The hosts voice shook Shane from his thoughts, his complete attention turning to the stage, awaiting to meet this ‘Bianca’ character. When she stepped out, Shane noticed two things right away: the roar of the crowd and how polar opposite to Adore she was. She wasn’t traditionally pretty like Adore, but still weirdly beautiful in her own unique way. She wore a royal blue gown that hugged her body perfectly, making Shane’s mouth go dry. Adore had on ripped tights, a black thong, and a crop top; just one look at Bianca convinced Shane that he’d never have the pleasure of seeing her in something like that.

Bianca’s set had to be at least an hour long, but time flew when you were having fun and Shane was sure he hadn’t laughed as hard as he did tonight in years. His cheeks stung by the end of the show. Bianca was…hateful. An insult comic. Shane should have guessed that Roy would make a living taking the piss out of people. “Hey!” Bianca’s voice cut through the intense buzz of the bar as she crept up behind Shane, embracing him in a quick hug that she wanted to give him last night. “What’d you think?” Why do you care what he thinks, Roy? You’ve never given a shit about what anybody thinks before. "Eh.” Bianca’s face dropped and Shane cackled at how utterly broken he appeared in that moment. “I’m just fucking with you. You were incredible, I haven’t laughed so much in my life.” Bianca’s glorious smile returned. Mission accomplished, Roy thought. God, those dimples are adorable, and I haven’t even seen his ass yet. “I’m gonna go take this shit off,” Roy leaned into him, Shane’s eyes falling to the expertly painted ruby lips. Why is he doing this to me? “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’ll bring out Adore so you can meet her too.” Bianca turned to the bartender. “Get him a drink on me, Matt.” The guy nodded. “Sure, B.” Bianca patted Shane’s shoulder before plunging into the crowd. His eyes following her until she was no longer visible.

“You know,” the bartender began as he made Shane’s drink. “it’s really cool to see Bianca with someone. She seems like a hard ass, but she’s a real softie under all that bullshit.” Shane felt his heart drop in disappointment. “Is she dating Adore?” Shane inquired. Why. Do. You. Care? His inner voice berated him. The quizzed look on the young man’s face told Shane no before he did. So who? “Oh, I’m sorry, a-are you two not together?” Me? Why would he think I was Roy’s boyfriend? I’ve only know him properly for a day. “Absolutely not, I can’t stand the cunt.” Shane brushed off the suspicion. “Sorry,” the bartender handed Shane his drink. “it’s just the way you two look at each other.”

—

“Hurry up!” Danny threw a pillow from the couch he was sitting on at Roy as he peeled away Bianca. “I wanna meet your boyfriend.” Oh god, here we go. Roy hadn’t had a proper boyfriend in years, he hadn’t even brought a guy back home just for the night in months. It was so rare for Roy to have a person around, that when he did, all of his coworkers were immediately down his throat about every last detail.

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

Roy tossed the pillow back in Danny’s face.

“He could be.”

Roy shot Danny a look that made him sink back into his seat.

“I’m just saying Roy, don’t be all cynical and ruin something before it even has the chance to happen. Let yourself be happy for once.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “You’re being a little dramatic, don’t you think? I barely know him. In fact, I hated him until twenty four hours ago.”

Danny shrugged his shoulders “So? You hated me at first too, we even got into that huge fight, remember? Now you love me.” He teased.

Roy was silent.

Shane was definitely his type, he could admit that, but what else was there? No, seriously Roy, what else is there? That was the problem: the most Roy knew about Shane was that he sung the spice girls on the top of his lugs at two in the morning, and his moaning was the sexiest (though annoying from a neighbors standpoint) sound he had ever heard. I wouldn’t mind being the one making him whimper like that. He knew he felt some sort of need to comfort him, to make him feel better. Then there was this strange want to impress him with his act tonight. And, truth be told, he did enjoy having someone in the audience watching just for him.

“You brought him here because he was sad. You never do anything nice for someone you genuinely hate.”

—

Shane and Danny hit it off immediately, finding their common ground in their love of music. The trio looked like old friends catching up, rather than strangers getting to know each other. Shane wasn’t half bad, Roy found out. The more they spoke the more he enjoyed being in his company. He had the same dry humor as Roy, and could keep up with his banter. Shane wasn’t as shocked as to find out Roy was fairly decent, he had already decided he liked him before coming out tonight. Maybe a little more than he’d actually admit to.

—

Roy and Shane took a lyft back to their apparent complex, neither were drunk, but far too buzzed to even think about driving themselves home. A comfortable silence had fallen over them as they walked back to their individual residence. Roy couldn’t have been more surprised at the way things were playing out. The two were getting in fights every day without even being in the same room, but once they got together it felt like they could have be best friends their whole life. “I had a really good time tonight, thank you. I needed it.” Roy chuckled. “What, did you think you’d have an awful time with me?” Shane narrowed his eyes at him. “Why do you always do that? Make everything a joke when someone’s trying to be sincere?”

Roy didn’t answer.

Good going Shane, call him out on a character flaw. That’ll really show him you like him.

Good going Roy, make him angry with you. That’s a great foot to start off on.

“I’m sorry.” They spoke in unison. The laughter erupting between them helping to break up the awkward tension. “I am really glad you enjoyed yourself tonight.” Roy said seriously. A soft smile bloomed on Shane’s face. Okay, he is pretty fucking adorable.

Roy thought back on what Danny said earlier that night, about not ruining a good thing before it even had the chance to start. He thought about how Danny only wanted the best for him, and how he would never give him advice he wasn’t a hundred percent sure of.

Shane was cute. Shane had a good sense of humor. Roy liked Shane.

Shane thought back on the plummet his heart took when he guessed Roy and Danny might have been dating. He thought back on the bartender, someone who must have known Roy for years, suspecting they were together just by the way they gazed at each other.

Shane didn’t have to think about it anymore, he had decided pretty early on in the evening, he liked Roy.

Maybe.

Maybe.

The two leaned into each other, neither anticipating the move from the other. Shane’s hand rested on Roy’s jaw, Roy’s arm snaked around Shane’s waist, yanking him closer to his body. The kiss came as second nature, as if they had lip locked a hundred times before. Roy’s lips had been softer than Shane expected them to be, they were perfectly plump and driving him mad.

Roy caught Shane’s lips in a series of pecks before finally letting them go. They stay pressed together, drunk on the moment with lust pumping through their veins. Shane reached behind him, grabbing for the door knob to his apparent.

“Would you like to come in?”

“I’d love to.”

Fans Can't Get Enough Of The Latest Black Clover

  SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE LATEST EPISODE OF BLACK CLOVER, PLEASE STOP READING NOW. THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS A LOT OF SPOILERS. LIKE, IT'S MOSTLY SPOILERS.

  Last week's action-packed installment saw Yami take on Marx, Owens and Charlotte, all three of them possessed by elf spirits due to Patry's resurrection spell. Our main boy Asta is still in the base of the Eye of the Midnight Sun, and he's witnessing some of the "reincarnations" himself as members of the Royal Knights are also going elf. And knowing Black Clover, I doubt this ominous turn of events is going to slow down anytime soon, so let's just dive right in to the newest episode!

    Yami's Black Magic has clashed with Charlotte's Briar Magic, and after seeing the rubble that lays before her, Charlotte is impressed that Yami, a human, was able to master magic like that. He managed to save the town and his slash even cut through one of her wrist gauntlets, so Charlotte pulls a classic "WE'LL MEET AGAIN, SPIDER-MAN" and retreats for the time being. 

    Yami bursts from the rubble and it's clear that some of those stones probably landed on his head. 

    Sol and Yami make light conversation (aka Yami yells and Sol argues back), and Yami tells her to go save citizens. Meanwhile, in the prison, we see many have also been possessed by the elves, and Gueldre Poizot, former captain of the Purple Orcas, views this as the perfect time to escape. He quickly runs into Revchi, who you may remember from the first episode. Back then, he was a creepy jerk trying to steal Yuno's grimoire, but he got taken down by Asta. Now he's...well...still creepy. Points for consistency, I guess.

    We learn that Gueldre is responsible for Revchi's facial scars and giving him that classic Harvey Dent skin care routine. Gueldre is like "Dude, that was all your fault and everyone hated you," and honestly, knowing what I know about Revchi, I don't doubt it. I hate Revchi and he's been in Black Clover for, like, eight minutes tops.

  They throw shade at each other until they bond over a mutual hatred of Asta, who either defeated or aided in the defeat of both. Aww! Remember Asta's speech from a few episodes ago about being able to bring people together? He truly works wonders!

    They're soon confronted by an elf-possessed magic user and Gueldre immediately tries to reason with him, but this powerful stranger isn't having it. And so Revchi and Gueldre, the ultimate team that absolutely no one asked for, join forces to take this stranger down. Gueldre uses his invisibility magic to cloak the both of them, and Revchi follows up with a magic-sealing chain creation attack. Due to that quick victory, Revchi asks aloud "Is this my ticket out of obscurity?" and he may as well turn to the camera and beg to be the show's main character.

    Gueldre and Revchi, now buds, walk away as the action returns to the Midnight Sun base. Luck and Ben are staring menacingly at their non-elf'd partners. They then embrace and this episode is just full of best friends. But this is a less-than-nice hug and Luck attacks Noelle, who still can't believe that Luck has gone bad. Elf Luck misses and before he can try again, he has his magic stopped by Kirsch's cherry blossom magic. Kirsch tells Noelle that they need to prepare for combat, despite the fact that Luck is a Black Bull and beating up your teammates is usually seen as unsportsmanlike.

  Regardless, Luck is now powerful enough to break through both Noelle and Kirsch's magic. And things don't look too much brighter on Asta's side of things, as Raia, who they just beat up, is now fighting fit. Raia casts a dark magic and a light magic attack...

    ...And Asta is stunned that someone can cast magic of two different attributes at the same time. Mereoleona blocks Raia's spells and tells Asta that THIS is why his dream of uniting everyone is foolish. All the elves want to do is hurt them. And just when it seems like the fight against Raia is hopeless... a possessed Rill bursts through the ceiling to ruin the odds for the good guys some more. Raia refers to Rill as "Lira" and their reunion, like Luck and Ben's, is also not quite heartwarming.

    Lira asks about Asta in the same way that every Black Clover hater has:

    Raia and Lira team up to take down Asta, Mereoleona and Zora...

    ....and things get even worse when three more possessed Royal Knights join the fray. But before Asta and Zora come up with a proper retreat plan, Mereoleona throws them out of the room and announces that she's going to kill all of the elves. 

    As the episode ends (No Petit Clover this time), we're left wondering two things: 1) Mereoleona is cool. She's been the MVP of this arc. But is she gonna be able to take on five resurrected elves at once? What's her plan? I'm not doubting her, because, as the last few episodes have shown, it's best not to doubt Mereoleona, but I just wanna know what she's got in mind.

  And 2) Just how widespread is this resurrected elves thing gonna be? In the last episode, it seemed like about half the main cast was getting possessed, but those numbers appear to be more lopsided with every new episode. And the preview for the next episode doesn't improve the protagonists' chances. The death of Julius, the Wizard King, was huge, but the resurrection of the elves and the damage that they cause might be an even bigger event.

  Asta getting thrown aside by Mereoleona is giving me real "Luffy tries his best during Marineford but in the end he's not really ready for this stage of combat yet" vibes. I'll have to see how this arc wraps up to see if the two storylines are truly comparable, but it's nice knowing that there are some forces that Asta just isn't ready to tackle yet. Makes the narrative more intense. 

  Anyway, let's see what Y'ALL thought about it!

    The villain used ritual magic to turn all your friends into genocidal elves? That sounds like some... Bad Luck pic.twitter.com/MlQXgMgYPA

— Peter Fobian (@PeterFobian) August 20, 2019

    the new Black Clover intro is too fire

— Lee (@CaprisunStraw) August 20, 2019

    Rill makes friends everywhere lol

— Gauri Gautam (@MisS_sOULeaTER) August 20, 2019

    That episode of Black Clover was crazy!

— Lance Scott (@Lance_Scott25) August 20, 2019

    Black clover is so gooood

— basstronaut (@ItssJul_62) August 20, 2019

    Weekly Black Clover is great tweet

— cye (@Cyrokx) August 20, 2019

    i'm already ready for next week!!!!

— David Gonzalez (@Dgonz45) August 20, 2019

    I can't believe I have been sleeping on Black Clover all this while ????????. Now I have almost 100 episodes to watch.

— High Chief Obi (@Waffirian_) August 20, 2019

    — Robert Sta-Ana (@PxndaLoL) August 20, 2019

  What did you think of the latest episode? Let us know in the comments!

    ------------------------------

Daniel Dockery is a writer and editor for Crunchyroll. You should follow him on Twitter!

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

Creepy random asshole who appears randomly at the beginning and then disappears. - Kendall (Episode 12)

https://youtu.be/cN6UaKTHxUA Ok heres what I want everyone to know. IM THE MOST PARANOID PERSON IN THE FUCKING WORLD. AND I CAN READ PEOPLE VERY WELL. AND I THINK I HAVE GONE MENTALLY INSANE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL FUCKING AMAZING! If yall think that I am going to go home 9TH! place! NINTH FUCKING PLACE by the hands of the seasons biggest buffoons than yall dont know me very well HUH. Lexi g, kendall and I made an alliance chat today and it sat so good with me. I was like omg yas we finally have someone (Kendall and I) We finally do! ... Then I got the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach and it was just something that did not sit right. I couldnt put my finger on it. I knew robin and alexis were voting me tn, and people have been after me hard core...since...well...before merge and the fact that Im sitting here in single digits is fucking surreal. Im probably going home soon.....SO WOULDNT IT MAKE SENSE FOR SOME ONE TO FLIP!? WOULDNT IT? I MEAN. IF I WAS IN ANYONE ELSES SHOES. I would make sure as FUCK to get me out. This is not cocky but like....im still here after how many fucking attempts? Which is why I think ash and lexi g are voting me out..OR GOING AGAINST me so thats both lexis, robin and ashley But lets look at the facts of why I think theyre going against me No one talks to me all day, except for alex and kendall. Interesting. Lexi G, plays lost puppy like no one cared about her in her alliance. Interesting. Ashley is being short with me. HM. Go on call with Lexi G, feel like abosoLUTE SHIT AND I KNOW SHES LYING TO ME, Lexi mentions ashley on call but backtracks and im like..........................oh my fucking god. !!! THEN HERE COMES THE STORM: I tell kendall ashley is voting me out, they make a chat, i tell kendall to add lexi g, this is secretly a test to see if my suspicions are true AND 5 MINS AFTER THE CHAT IS MADE ASHLEY ASKS ME WHY I THINK IM VOTING HER OUT LOLOLOLOLOLOLO FUCK OFF\ [6:17:53 PM] Sarah: ashley [6:17:57 PM] Sarah: can u just be honest [6:17:58 PM] Sarah: with me [6:17:59 PM] Sarah: like [6:18:01 PM] Sarah: legit [6:18:04 PM] Sarah: idc that ur voting me [6:18:07 PM] Sarah: but like [6:18:12 PM] Ashley Hudson: I am not voting you. [6:18:13 PM] Sarah: ive been NOTHING but straight up [6:18:17 PM] Sarah: like IT WOULD MAKE SENSE [6:18:25 PM] Sarah: I would do it if I were u [6:18:31 PM] Ashley Hudson: it wouldn't make sense I THINK IVE GONE INSANE BUT LIKE I HAVE A GUT FEELING I JUSY KNOW AND I HOPE ITS RIGHT OTHERWISE ASHLEYS GONNA HATE MEEEEE Ashley: you have been like my #1 this whole time why would I throw that away me thinking: YOU LITERALLY GOT "WHO DO U FORGET IS STILL PLAYING THIS GAME" IN TOUCHY SUBJECTS OF FUCKING COURSE YOU WANT TO MAKE A BIG MOVE IDC IF I GO HOME BY ROCKS IDFC BUT LIKE WHY DO THESE BITCHES THINL IM FUCKIJG STUPID IVE BEEN SAYING THIS ALL GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 NOW FOR THE HOME LANDING: Ashley: you have been like my #1 this whole time why would I throw that away you are the one that is aligned with Kendall, and I guess want Lexi G in on that? that's cool. #CONFIRMED LEXI G AND ASHLEY FLIPPED CONFIRMED AHDHDOIFHJSDOI;FKJSDF WHY WOULD ASHLEY KNOW ABOUT THAT OTHER THAN LEXI G FUCK OFF WERE GOING TO ROCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKS! SEE U ON THE OTHERSIDE BITCHES

The detailed account of my evil plan of which I shown to the Samantha that I had purchased-

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FC9bUbYixYpVNdOA6LwrnUhXryI4Bo3tnWLVqB4RgMY/edit

You know, I think I finally get it. I think I finally understand Sarah, Jordan, and even Gavin. Allow me to elaborate. Unless you have been drunk for this entire season, it is well known fact that we were surrounded by Pathological Liars. I'm not saying that to be a judgmental asshat, I came to this conclusion via unbiased observation. Jaiden.... Dom.... Ruben.... What do all these people have in common? If you said they had a dick, yes but that's not the point I'm trying to make. At one point or another someone on my side tried to reach out to them and be all like "Hey let's work together because no one would suspect it," Jaiden/Dom/Ruben would agree and not even five minutes after they make the vow, they would go out of their way to get those three out. Whether they expose them, give them false information, or just talk shit; these guys would always take advantage of the trust they were given and go out of their way to make a messy as fuck tribal. And after everything has gone to shit what do they do? They come crawling back like their battered wives and be like "Hey let's work together". And the same shit keeps happening over and over again. Until they get voted out. I almost fell into that cycle in the case of Robin but luckily my personality, which is one of a vengeful emotionally stunted woman child, prevented it from happening after she revealed me to Gavin. But I think I'm about to fall into it again... though this time with Lexi L. Lexi L. is a fascinating individual, without Gavin around, she appears to be a more rational and calculating kind of player. Given the right tools, I think she could make some sort of impact on the game. Plus her sense of humor is amazing! I really really want to keep her around and not just because I have a death wish or because I am bored. I think she could be a useful tool for my quest for world domination.... well game domination... If I learned anything from ORGs, this one in particular, it's that the truth doesn't really matter. Everyone has already crafted their own stories in their head, one's where they are the super heroes or the super villains, maybe even the damsel in distress. Even if the truth is shown right in their face, people refuse to accept it, instead finding refuge in their earlier perceptions. I think that's why the whole edgic thing is so popular, it falls in line with this kind of thinking. The story I want to "create" is an underdog story. One where the villain is Lexi L and the reluctant hero is myself. Lexi L takes out everyone I am aligned with, everyone who is considered a threat, and then at the final 4 or maybe the final 5, I behead the dragon. I promise I am not doing this to fuel my own ego nor do I have any real delusions of grandeur. I know and accept the fact that I'm not some messiah archetype, hell I'm not even the satan archetype. I'm more like the creepy random asshole who appears randomly at the beginning and then just sort of disappears. The thing is, they don't know that. All I need to do is to make them think the opposite of that fact. Plus if I do that Sarah, Alex and Gavin won't hate me forever! Which would be great because I like all of them very much and don't think I'll be able to handle their hatred. Now that I think about it, they'll probably hate forever after reading this..... Why am I putting this down in the confessionals again? Oh right because I went this entire season without gloating about some evil plan and it's starting to feel very weird. I think I want to work with Lexi L to make this happen. I want us to craft a story in which the hero and villain fight to the death... but I'm probably going to leave that part out if I ever pitch it to her. On paper this sounds like a good idea but only if you didn't read my first couple paragraphs... I have no sure way to control her. What I am I supposed to do rely on her benevolence and friendship? That is a terrible incentive for loyalty, I mean look at right now, I am literally plotting to destroy my own alliance. And the only thing that is supposed to stop me is the power of 'friendship' or 'showmance' or whatever... Clearly this isn't working! All it's doing is making me feel mildly guilty and paranoid. Another thing that's stopping me is the past. If one goes through my previous confessionals from previous games, you'll see they all have one thing in common. Well two things if you count the idol fucking... Every time I tried to flip or make a #bigmood, bad things follow. Don't believe me? Malaysia: Tried to help Mitchell, got voted out by everyone and their mothers. Rebels versus Rogues: Tried to help out Simon, got idol out. Technotits: Tried to help out little AJ, ended up voted out unanimously... again! I may be dumb enough to fall for the same thing three times in a row but not a forth! I mean, I think. Cause I already gave Lexi L. the map we've been using to find the vote negator, places we looked included. For all I know, she already showed it to Gavin, Alex, Ashley, and Liam. I'm not as concerned with Sarah cause I already told her but I'm not sure if one vote will make much of a difference. I don't want Lexi L. to be my Jaiden or Dom or Ruben, all that will really do is hinder me. But I want to do this plan so badly! If it seems like I wasted your time with a pointless subplot, chances are I have and I am almost sorry. I swear it's like nobody can make a decision on their own! Like it takes ten billion years for anything to get done! LIKE UGGGHHHHHHHHHH Also I think we found out what the opal idol does. And it's from Hellwaii so we hate it based on instinct.  Also now Sarah actually wants to vote out Gavin and I don't know how I feel about that...  I mean I can save her probably but should I? Because I don't think it's in my best interest to cheat a group of people who have my back over a group of complete strangers who don't.  On the other hand if I just be a good little puppy and tattle on her and save everyone, would it make a difference? I'll just be following the same path I have been trying to escape...  I know I know this is almost exactly what I asked for but I need the option to go back if things get to heavy. I adore Sarah but I shouldn't drop everything just because she asks me too.... The Gavin's plan was to have 4 vote for Lexi and 3 vote for Robin. Sarah is one of the Lexi votes so if I could convince her to flip and make it a  three three three vote (Lexi, Robin, Gavin) then we can flip with other Lexi and nobody will know it was us... Oh wait now it turns out that they want her out. Again, what did she do to piss these people off? I should probably stop editing in real time and actually submit this damn thing 

Well everything has gone to hell. I'm pretty sure Sarah has gone insane, she keeps saying that Ashley and Lexi G. are trying to get her out but refuses to explain why. She said it was a gut feeling and I guess, despite how psychotic she may sound, she could be right. Ashley isn't exactly close with any of us and was pretty crestfallen that she was picked out as most forgettable in touchy subjects. So her flipping would make sense. Lexi G is... well she has been going on and on with the woe is me crap and I almost bought into it. Fuck I actually did buy into it for like the past week and a half. There is just something off about her... like even someone like me could sense it. Right after Sarah told Lexi G that she was flipping the vote to Robin, the news started to get upset in the main chat. And honestly, I don't begrudge them for it. I mean, it seems like every time something would go their way something else would go in and stop them. They swap fuck Sarah and Ashley, we send them idols, Jaiden finds an idol, the hosts blurt it out in the VL, They finally get someone to flip to their side, SARAH GOES APE SHIT INSANE. If stuff like this happened to me on a day to day basis I would probably have a similar reaction. Hell I did have a similar reaction in Malaysia, though I was more mopey and passive aggressive. Also some chick named Julia (I think it's the magical one but I'm not really sure?) might be harassing Lexi L. And the hosts are allegedly talking shit about the contestants, the newbies in particular, and that's kind of messed up. Lexi L seems to be on the verge of quitting or she is just playing it up for our pity, at this point I really don't know. Like I want to empathize with her and the other contestants but I don't honestly know whether or not I should. Like sometimes it seems like there is layer after layer beneath them and every time I think I find a genuine emotion of some kind it turns out to be a lie. Like this shit happened all the time in High School, I don't exactly want to relive it in here. I know this differs from my usual calculating yet spacey confessionals about conspiracy theories or how weak I am but this is supposed to be fun, not just for me and my allies but for everyone around us. We should be enjoying coming up with strategies and trying to fight each other. We should be talking and having fun but we aren't... everyone seems to genuinely hate each other. And any reach across the aisle is seen as some sort of threat. I liked being friends with Robin, I liked talking to Lexi L about the 100 and other things, fuck I even liked talking to Jaiden and his day to day life. I didn't want to betray them or be mean to them, even when I talked shit in confessionals I mostly did it for my own amusement. Yeah things are going well but I can't help but feel like this is undeserved. Like power came at the cost of everyone else's enjoyment. It's like the final battle with Master Hand in Super Smash Bros Brawl. You go through all these stages against the master hand, from beginning stages to the end but then... he just turns into an orb. He doesn't fight back, he doesn't do anything he just lies there waiting to be defeated. If this is all just an elaborate ploy to get us to lower our guards then seriously fuck you. I hate it when my emotions over power my brain and if you guys did it on purpose that is a new fucking low. It's not smart it's not clever it's just unnecessary cruelty and I hate you for it. But if it's the truth... then I'm sorry.

Well Sarah decided to play her Ruby Idol... I am probably fucked... Well if I go home know that I am not going to stop spamming the confessional because fuck you that's why.

Well Sarah decided to play her Ruby Idol... I am probably fucked... Well if I go home know that I am not going to stop spamming the confessional because fuck you that's why. Well, Haven't made on of these in a while. Oops. So the game is going okay, Sarah and I are working together pretty closely. Though she usually lives up to her villain title so I will forever be on guard with her. Gavin and I are still okay I guess, I think he might be getting closer to the other "side" or he just is getting closer to Alex, who knows. Pretty much our group is me, Sarah, Gavin, and Alex, from what I can see right now. We haven't talked much in that chat because we are still working with the bigger group but as number dwindle I can see us talking much more in our alliance chat. I am not too salty about Jordan leaving (A while ago, I know) but I do miss his strategic ways. We just did touchy subjects, and I didn't receive the answers that I usually get, which is cool because I am trying to play this game a bit different than I usually do. In fact, I got the "who do you forget is playing?" Majority vote. Yeah, that would be because I am doing shit behind y'all's back, duh. I think by the end of this game, my stance as a "hero" will not quite be true anymore and I am excited. Should be interesting.

Alright, so I found the negator that my whole alliance has been looking for. But tbh I ain't going to tell them because it could come in handy for my game later. I don't want the game to end up being just my alliance and have my ass end up on the bottom unable to do anything so hopefully to shake things up later I can keep that I have the negator under wraps. Maybe they will "forget" I am even a person that could have it. ;)