#people have been very nice on the ao3 comments thanks to everyone<3
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Pyrrha Dve Appreciation <3
#tlt#the locked tomb#nona the ninth#nona#ntn#pyrrha dve#pyrrha#tlt fanart#myart#my art#this was my piece for the tlt holiday exchange#people have been very nice on the ao3 comments thanks to everyone<3
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Life Eternal (last part)
Can you feel me longing for you forever and ever?
Larissa Weems x Fem!reader
A/N: Well, this story has finally come to an end. Thank you to everyone who’s been following since chapter one, I loved reading your comments of pure anguish and despair. It took me a (long) while to decide how I wanted to end this fic, I hope you’ll enjoy reading it. Here’s the song mentioned in this chapter, which I recommend listening to (I swear I’m not trying to turn y’all into The Cure fans…unless…). Thank you again, enjoy!<3
AO3 link in title
She couldn’t know. It was impossible, you knew it was impossible for someone to remember once their memories had been erased. Unless… No. No, this was just fate messing with you, it was life sticking its middle finger right into your face.
You should have declined. You should have pushed the drink away and get out of the bar. But you didn’t. If life wanted to mess with you, then so be it. What did you have to lose, anyway? Larissa didn’t remember you.
So you found yourself picking up the glass, your legs moving on their own accord as you walked towards the tall woman.
“Hey!“ You pushed a small smile as you sat down on the stool next to hers.
“Hey, I’m Larissa!” She offered her hand and you shook it, introducing yourself in return.
“I don’t do this very often,” she said, gesturing around with her hand. “Going out to bars, I mean. It’s not that I don’t want to, but I don’t have much free time with my work. And I’m rambling now.” she chuckled softly. “I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I didn’t know if this was the right approach, buying you a drink. That’s what people used to do when I was younger.”
“Well, a free drink is always welcome.” You joked. “Unless it’s from some creepy old man. In which case, it’s never welcome.”
Larissa laughed, hiding her mouth behind her hand like she always did.
“Tell me more about you.” You said as if there was anything she could tell you that you didn’t know already.
You listened to the tall woman telling you about her life, your chin resting on your hand. You could feel yourself melt at the passion and the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about her work at Nevermore. She told you it was a school for outcasts and asked if you knew what that meant, to which you simply nodded and took a sip of your drink.
It had always been hypnotising, the way she moved her hands around as she talked. Her mouth spread in a wide smile as she told you about the last Outreach Day, her crooked bottom teeth peeking out from behind her lip. You almost wished you had found a way to erase your memory too, just so you could fall in love with her all over again.
“Jericho, you said?” You tilted your head. “It’s a bit far from here, isn’t it? You don’t have nice bars over there?”
“Well, to be completely honest, a former student recommended me this place. She said it was quiet and it would do me some good to be away from Nevermore, at least for a weekend while it’s the summer break.”
A former student, of course. Enid. I swear you won’t live to see another full moon, you traitorous fur-bag.
“I never thought I’d be taking recommendations from Wednesday Addams. But here I am, and I’m glad I did!”
Wednesday?!
You choked on your drink, turning away from Larissa as you coughed a few times.
“Are you alright?” Larissa’s hand gently rubbed your back and you had to close your eyes for a second, her electrifying touch sending a jolt through your veins.
You nodded and cleared your throat, almost letting out a whine at the loss of the woman’s warm hand on your back.
“I’ve been rambling about myself for half an hour, how about you tell me more about yourself ?” Larissa emptied her glass and gestured for the bartender to pour her another one.
“There isn’t much to say about me, really. I finished high school six years ago and tried university but it wasn’t for me. Currently working at a small coffee shop downtown but god knows how long that will last. I’m sorry, I’m not as interesting as you are.” You shook your head and looked down.
And then her hand was on yours, giving you a gentle squeeze that had your breath hitching in your throat.
“Don’t say that. It’s not easy to find what makes us vibrate, what makes us want to get out of bed in the morning. Everything takes time.” She gave your hand another squeeze before letting go. “And do you come here often?”
“I suppose it depends on what you call often? Once a week, usually.” You shrugged, realising how pathetic that sounded.
“And you come here looking for…?”
“I’m not even sure, to be honest. I guess I come here trying to forget some things. It doesn’t help though, and I keep coming back like an imbecile.”
“Mm, trying to mend a broken heart then?” Larissa’s fingers carefully took hold of your chin and raised your head so you’d look at her.
You were grateful for the song changing in the background right at that moment. You could tell Larissa immediately recognised it, as you did, by the way her eyes widened.
“I love The Cure!” She said, her ruby lips stretching in a wide smile.
I know. I haven’t forgotten.
“So do I!”
Truth was, you hadn’t listened to them in over a year. But of course one of their songs would play right when Larissa found her way back to you.
So, we meet again and I offer my hand
All dry and English slow
Larissa offered you her slender hand to take and you didn’t think twice before grabbing it, letting the woman pull you towards the small dance floor.
And you look at me and I understand
Yeah it's a look I used to know
Three long years and your favorite man
Is that any way to say hello?
And you hold me like you'll never let me go
You were hypnotised, entranced by the way she danced to the music. You had asked her once if she had always been so diligent and she had nodded, telling you that she’d always been a studious and dedicated student except for the few times where her roommate had managed to drag her to a bar downtown.
You imagined a younger Larissa, drink in hand and dancing to some new wave song with her roommate. Is that where she had learnt to dance like this?
Larissa spun you around and wrapped her arms around you from behind, pulling you flush against her body.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much
The older woman whispered the lyrics near your ear, the hair on your neck sticking up as her breath hit your skin. You wondered then if she knew. If by some miracle - or curse - she had found a way to remember.
You couldn’t resist closing your eyes and letting Larissa sway you from side to side, her arms tightly wrapped around your body and her lips dangerously close to your pulse point.
But how many times can I walk away and wish, if only
How many times can I talk this way and wish, if only
Keep on making the same mistake
Keep on aching the same heartbreak
I wish if only, but if only is a wish too late
It pained you how accurate it all was. How many times you wished you had told her the truth. How many times you regretted running away, making the same mistakes again and again. You wished, if only.
The song came to an end and Larissa held you a little longer before eventually letting go, spinning you around and biting her lip as the two of you locked eyes.
“I think I’d like to go home with you.” She whispered, the dim light doing nothing to hide the blush that crept on her cheeks.
Oh. Oh.
“Larissa, I don’t think…Fuck-“ You rubbed your hand over your face, trying to find the right words.
“Oh, god. I misread the signs, didn’t I? I’m sorry, I really did think you were interested-“
“I am!” You cut her off. “You didn’t misread anything, I’m interested. It’s just-“
“It’s the age gap, right?” It was her turn to cut you off. “Listen, I can make myself appear younger.” She blurted out “I told you about Nevermore. I’m an outcast too, a shapeshifter.”
“What?!” You scoffed. As if you would ever want her to shapeshift into anything else than what she was right now.
Larissa’s eyes widened and she froze looking like a deer caught in the headlights. She had told you too much. She shouldn’t have mentioned her abilities, you looked absolutely horrified about her admission.
“Come with me.” You said, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the door.
Larissa had just enough time to reach her arm out and catch her bag from the stool as you pulled her outside.
“I don’t live too far, we’ll walk. The fresh air will do us some good.” You said, walking down the street with Larissa by your side.
You were halfway to your house when you realised that you had not let go of her hand, that her fingers were still intertwined with yours and she didn’t seem to mind. It felt so right to be walking home with Larissa, holding hands like lovers did. And yet you couldn’t ignore the dreadful feeling of guilt that pulled in your stomach. It wasn’t right to do this, to lie to her like you were doing right now. What if this went too far? You couldn’t take advantage of her like this, you would never.
“I hope it’s not too messy inside.” You joked awkwardly as you unlocked your front door and pushed it open. “You can take your shoes off if you’d like, I can’t imagine it’s comfortable to walk around in heels all day long.”
The woman nodded and slipped out of her shoes, placing them by the door. She followed you deeper into your flat and looked around, smiling at the decor.
“It’s cozy.” She said. “It looks like you, very fitting.”
“Thanks, I guess?” You chuckled and watched her sit down on your couch as you poured two glasses of water.
“So…” She started when you sat down next to her, placing the glasses on the table. “I don’t usually do this. I already told you that I don’t go out much, nor do I have sex with people I’ve just met, but there’s something about you…”
Larissa’s hand had landed on your knee and moved higher as she spoke, her fingertips rubbing soothing circles on your thigh. She moved her free hand to cup your cheek and pulled you closer, finally allowing herself to press her lips on the expense of your neck.
“Fuck-“ you breathed out, feeling your willpower slipping through your fingers.
You had dreamt of this moment for so long, imagined her lips on your skin so many times. All you had ever wanted was there in your arms, years of yearning and longing finally being rewarded. But you couldn’t let it happen, and you knew it.
“Larissa-“ You carefully held onto her shoulders and gently pushed her away from you.
Don’t look at me like that, please. If only you knew. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, and you’re all I can never have.
“We can’t! I can’t…Trust me, Larissa, you don’t want to do this with me.” You said looking into her eyes, hoping she would accept it without further explanation.
“You don’t know what I want.” Larissa breathed out and the next second her lips were crashing onto yours.
The world around you faded into oblivion as you tasted Larissa’s lips and she tasted yours. You eventually dared to reach for her, your hand craving to hold onto her waist when the older woman suddenly recoiled as if she had been burnt.
And you could immediately tell by the look on her face that she remembered. She desperately searched for your eyes, silently seeking an answer to the memories that had just gushed into her mind.
“I can explain.” You whispered, holding your hands out in front of you.
Larissa’s body visibly tensed and for a second you thought she was about to scream at you, half expecting her to slap you as well. But that wasn’t Larissa. She had never raised her voice at you, you weren’t even sure she had it in her. Instead, the woman opened her arms and pulled you in a tight hug that had you burst into sobs.
“I’m so, so sorry-“ you sobbed loudly, slumping into Larissa’s arms and gripping onto the fabric of her blouse to keep her close.
Larissa stayed quiet, her chest heaving up and down as she buried her face in the crook of your neck, trying to process the thousands of thoughts and emotions that ran through her.
“We should have talked this out.” She eventually said when you had calmed down.
She pulled away from you and brushed your tears away with the pad of her thumb.
“I was so scared to lose you.” You admitted, your lips dangerously wobbling once again. “I was so scared that you would forever be disgusted by my feelings for you, that you would kick me out of your life. I was horrified that you might think our friendship was based on lies, because it wasn’t! You were the most important person in my life. I was so terrified at the thought of losing you that I willingly chose to evict myself from your life, and your memory.”
Tears dropped from Larissa’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks, ending their path on the woman’s lips. She shook her head a little and cupped your cheek.
“Your feelings for me are anything but disgusting, do you hear me?” She said. “You should have let me speak, perhaps you would have found that my feelings weren’t very far from yours.” Larissa admitted, fighting against the little voice in her mind screaming how unprofessional this was.
“Are you saying-“ Your mouth dropped open and you were unable to say anything else.
“Yes, I am.” Larissa nodded. “I know I shouldn’t, you used to be my student and I was your principal. I feel like this could be seen as me taking advantage of you, and I would never want anyone to think that.”
“You’re not! You’re not taking advantage of me, Larissa. You have never, not once, said or done anything inappropriate. Please-“ you pleaded and took her hands into yours.
“Why do I remember? I thought erasing memories was irreversible, so why did it all come back?” Larissa asked, eyebrows knitted together.
“It is irreversible, unless…” You chuckled and shook your head. “Look, there isn’t any non-cheesy way to say this so I’ll just say it. It’s irreversible unless you receive a true love’s kiss. I know how corny that sounds, trust me.”
“So that means…”
“That your soul and mine belong together, yes. But it doesn’t mean it has to happen. You will still be able to find love somewhere else, to fall for someone who isn’t me. All it means is that your soul matches mine.” You explained, readying yourself for rejection.
“I would be a fool to find my soulmate and decide to run from them, don’t you think?” Larissa whispered, her lips pulling in a small smile. “If you’re still interested in me, in being with me…”
“Yes, yes of course I am!” You answered without needing to think about it. “We will take it as slow as you want.”
“As slow as I want? I was practically throwing myself at you all night long.” Larissa laughed, a blush creeping up her chest and face.
“Yeah, well, it feels nice to know I’m the kind of woman you’re interested in.” You grinned and she gently nudged you before pulling you into another hug.
“I love you, Larissa.” You whispered in her ear, her arms squeezing you a little tighter.
“I know,” she said. “I love you too.”
—
The first rays of sunshine seeped through your curtains, hitting you straight in the face. You slowly blinked awake and turned your head to avoid the light, smiling at the sight of the woman asleep next to you.
Naked, with her mouth slightly agape and her silver curls spread on her pillow, Larissa was a vision.
Your eyes fell on the golden band that adorned her ring finger, which matched yours. You still had no idea how you had gotten lucky enough to call a woman like her your wife.
You closed your eyes, lips spreading in a soft smile as you recalled your wedding first dance. You had held onto each other, as you always did, and gently swayed along to the music, your lips near her ear whispering the lyrics.
Can you hear me say your name forever?
Can you see me longing for you forever?
Would you let me touch your soul forever?
Can you feel me longing for you forever and ever?
If you had life eternal?
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tag list: @h-doodles @enchantressb @kaymariesworld @lady-dimimi @milfdilf @katie-bennet @readingtheentrails @willowshadenox @dingdongthetail @m1lflov3rrr @wexrdaurx @wifeymaterialsstuff @giogwensversion @lils-cards @theonefairygodmother @rosieathena @inthemoonsea @sarahpaulsonsoftie @smutuniversesblog @mysteriouslysapphic @pro-weems-places @yourlocaldisneyvillain @rowboat-races @bigolgay @weemswife @bychrissi @pluied-ete @opheliauniverse @principal-weems09 @weemssapphic @kimiinou @winterfireblond @saintsvixen @simpsforwomen @eveymay @i-love-nerdy-stuff @slightlymalicedme @fictionalized-lesbian @renravens @emilynissangtr @almaperegrinespipe @inlovewithalcinadimitrescu @rosiexweil @danisogay @a-queen-and-her-throne @gwenweems @sugipla @amateurwritescm @non-binary-frogking @blessmysouljessisonaroll @plutolocks @on-an-egotrip
#gwendoline christie#larissa weems#larissa weems x reader#principal weems#larissa weems x y/n#larissa x reader#no beta we die like larissa
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Hi! So I’m new to the Tarlos fandom and you seem to be really nice… so if you could help me navigate this space I would be very grateful. So how’s the fandom what can I expect ? What are the accounts to follow?
I understand if you’re not available to answer and if it’s not your thing but thank you anyway.
HELLO! Welcome <3 This certainly is my thing - I'm always available and happy to answer any and all questions when it comes to Tarlos content.
First up, a warm welcome to the Tarlos fandom - we are happy to have you here! I expect that from your ask you have only recently watched the show. I hope you enjoyed :) Usual caveats apply - check tags, warnings, ratings etc. Not all blogs/fics/content is going to be for everyone, and that's totally okay!
Before I get into my rambling/screaming about how much I love other people and their work, I should also say that I never have enough time to consume all the Tarlos content that I would like to, and so this list can never capture every amazing person on this site. If you check out the #fic rec friday tag on my blog, you should find all the round ups for all past Fic Rec Fridays, where people from all over the fandom (and other fandoms!) recommended some truly amazing content.
Also shout out to @rmd-writes for letting me appropriate some of your own recs on a similar ask.
Fic Blogs:
I am, first and foremost, a fic writer and I will never be able to rec all of the talent in this fandom all by myself, but here are some of the people I have turned to on Ao3 over my last year or so of being here:
@liminalmemories21 @goodways @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @reyescarlos @sunshinestrand @iboatedhere @beautifulhigh @heartstringsduet @carlos-in-glasses @alrightbuckaroo @freneticfloetry @rmd-writes @bellakitse @howtosingit @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @catanisspicy @basilsunrise @chaotictarlos @thebumblecee @noxsoulmate @marjansmarwani @morganaspendragonss. THAT BEING SAID there are a lot of newer people in the fandom that I haven't yet had the chance to dive into and I'm SO sorry for that, but I look forward to reading nonetheless!!! Again, I'd recommend looking up the Fic Rec Friday round ups because they are much more fulsome than what I've got here, and I'm so sure I've forgotten people accidentally!
Source Blogs:
Here's a few places I go to for Tarlos/Rafa/Ronen news/content:
@911lsbts @rafaelsilvasource @ronenrubinsteinsource
GIFs/videos:
GIF/video makers are gods on this earth and here are just a few I adore (PLS I KNOW I'VE MISSED PEOPLE I'M SO SORRY):
@lutavero @guardian-angle22 @danieljradcliffe @maxbegone @strandtk @/tailoredshirt @angeltk @velvet-lnk @whattarush @chaotictarlos @tylerkennedys @rafael-silva @3416 @lonestardust
Fan Art:
Incredible talent I eat up:
@ambiguouspenny @fitzherbertssmolder @heartstringsduet (tagged above) @thebumblecee (tagged above) @angeltarlos @rafascosmic @fckingyrs @watmalik @birdclowns @thevenstar @reyeslonestar @thisbuildinghasfeelings
ANYWAY! I'm so sure I have accidentally omitted people because I'm doing this on the fly, so PLEASE don't feel bad if I didn't include you here (especially if you're a newer fandom member because I have been falling behind recently!) If you would like to drop some recs in the comments for this anon, that would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your ask, anon! Any opportunity I get to rave about the amazing creators in this fandom, I will take it!
#911 lone star#tarlos#fic rec#fandom rec#gif rec#fan art rec#911 lone star rec#tarlos rec#tk strand#carlos reyes#ask#answered#anon ask
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Hello! Do you have any advice on how to deal with the fear of bad-faith readers? Thanks to spending too much time online during Covid, my confidence took a huge hit, and now I’m quite worried about random online users discovering my writing and complaining that my writing is not good enough, not diverse enough, not social justicey enough, etc. It’s often made me hesitate a lot during my writing recently, so any advice to deal with this would be much appreciated. Thank you!
Fear of Negative Feedback/Reviews
Three things to keep in mind here:
#1 Reviews and comments aren't feedback. Unless you post your story to a place dedicated to writer feedback or where you're specifically asking for feedback, any commentary or review you receive is not there to educate you. It's either there as thanks and/or flattery, or it's there to let other readers know what to expect. On sites like AO3, for example, unless you specifically ask for concrit, you will probably only get neutral or positive commentary which isn't feedback. If you get negative comments, just ignore them if you didn't ask for them.
#2 Reviews are for readers. Let me say that again...
Reviews are for readers to let other readers know what they liked and didn't like about a book. They are not there for the author's harm or benefit. They're not there to educate the author. They're there for other readers, full stop.
Write the best story you can write, and if you can, utilize feedback tools meant for writers (alpha readers, writing groups, critique partners, sensitivity readers, beta readers, editors...) to ensure your story is everything you want it to be.
If your alpha readers, writing groups, critique partner/s, sensitivity readers, beta readers, or editors have concerns about representation in your story, those are the issues you need to address.
Once your story is out in the world, let it go, especially if negative reviews hurt your confidence and mental health. If you inadvertently do something terrible that blows up, listen, apologize, and take steps to do better next time. That's it.
#3 Everyone isn't going to love your story. All writers get bad reviews. If you expect to receive only glowing praise on every story, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes is a beloved classic that has sold an estimated 500 million copies worldwide since it was first published in 1605. Among the reviews on Amazon: "repetitive and frustrating," "book is trash, don't know why it's a classic," "I absolutely hated this book," "silly, lengthy, display of low humor."
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is another beloved classic, and it has sold an estimated 200 million copies worldwide since publication in 1859. Among the reviews on Amazon: "boring as heck," "incomprehensible jibberish," "has significant flaws," "great if you want a nice nap," "way too slow and boring."
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien is a classic that is still very popular and beloved today, and has sold an estimated 100 million copies since its publication in 1937. Among the reviews on Amazon: "very slow paced and confusing," "I found it mind-numbingly dull," "the worst piece of writing ever," "zoned out because I was bored."
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown is a hugely popular contemporary book that has sold an estimated 80-million copies worldwide since its publication in 2003. Among the reviews on Amazon: "One of the worst, if not THE worst book I've read, ever," "much ado about not much," "couldn't overlook the shallow characters, boring car chases, and general lack of quality," "unnecessary ramblings about scenery," "horribly written, full of cliches."
All stories have people who don't like them. Period.
It's something we have to accept as writers.
As long as we're doing our best to put the best possible stories out there, and as long as we listen and learn when legitimate concerns are brought to our doorstep, we're doing all we can.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!
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It probably is going to sound very contradictory, but I had to say it because your blog is the only place I can say it out loud.
I've been writing for years and I don't crave for popularity or attention for what I write. Too much attention whether it's good or bad makes me uncomfortable. Still I want my work to be recognized a little bit more because for all the hard work and tears that goes in the writing ends up being rewarded with a terribly lukewarm response, which is disheartening. I've always written for the smaller fandoms where you could count readers and writers on your fingers, but then I got into a big fandom, and it took me a long time to gather the courage to post something because the debate about the characters going ooc is too always a valid one. For my 10 chapter fic I only have 50 something kudos and a handful of comments, 3 of whom are my friends who read every chapter and kudo'd as guests. I know the stats shouldn't matter, but after investing myself into the story and the characters, getting negligible response is hurtful. I've even gotten some hate and rude comments from some people.
Now, I'm not the kind of person who feels insecure about their writing, so I don't think someone not reading my stories is because something is wrong with me or my work. But then I read other fics where writers added the note that this was the first fic in this fandom and they have more readers even on their one shots. The numbers even go to 200-400 kudos and many, many comments.
I don't know how to stop feeling this way or what to do to let go of these contradictory feelings where I neither want too much attention nor do I want my work to have almost zero readers in the fandom. But I'm quite shameless (determined?) so I'll still write what I am writing even if it's just one reader reading it. Even then, the lack of readership will still be hurtful at the end of the day, no matter what I tell myself.
*hugs* I get it. I've been there. I probably still am there, if I'm honest, except I rarely post anything in public spaces these days.
What you're feeling isn't unreasonable and it's not contradictory because what you're feeling isn't about popularity or even readership when it comes right down to it. It's not about numbers. It's about an acknowledgement of the effort that you've put in.
You've worked hard and you want that to be recognized. If you did that in the workplace, your boss or coworker would tell you you'd done a great job. If you did that at home, your family or roommate would thank you for the work you'd put into making that home look nice or making a meal to feed everyone.
In online spaces, however, the only way to get that recognition is through popularity. Either that, or through an established community. Right now, you have a few friends who you can rely on to read your work and respond to it. But right now, it also seems like that isn't enough in some way. Again, that's totally fair and understandable.
For me, that happened when I was putting more energy into my fic than I actually had available to me. I was working 60 hour weeks at two jobs and under a lot of personal stress, and fic was my escape so I wrote and posted a lot of it. But writing still takes effort, and it still takes time, and there's a huge emotional component to all of the work you put in, and when your time and your energy are low and your emotions are already a bit fraught... When you're pouring out of a nearly empty cup, you really need someone to come by with a refill.
I don't really have much in the way of advice here. What I did was stop posting publicly and just start writing with my bestie in a private RP discord server. That's not a solution that's going to work for everyone. What I will say is, figure out what it is that you need and then figure out a way to get it. Whether you can get it online, whether you can get it on AO3 is going to be up to you.
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Mine - Chapter 3
Summary: After a major event happens, Y/N feels conflicted with her emotions between how she feels about both Negan and Joel.
Characters: Joel Miller (TLOU), Negan (TWD), the reader (OC, third person), Ellie Williams (TLOU), Tommy Miller (TLOU), Maria Miller (TLOU) etc.
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45115177/chapters/113942644
Warnings: Swearing, angst, etc.
Notes: If you like this story or have any kind of comment at all, please let me know! I'm satisfied even with emojis. Thank you for those that have taken interest in this story! I appreciate you. Gif Credits: @loregifs & @jdmorganz
Exhaustion ate at Y/N as she climbed up the steps to where her job needed her. It was early in the morning and she had already been at work for a while. Last night her mind was so full of her own negative thoughts that she didn’t sleep. That was two days in a row with little to no sleep. It was definitely taking its toll on her body, but she was going to do her best to get through the day. This job needed her to be alert, so she had to force that tiredness down just to get through her shift. Not sleeping was becoming a very common thing for her lately and considering she worked somewhere she needed to be physical, it wasn’t exactly the smartest of things. It meant she was counting on the coffee that she could get and she didn’t know how much that would actually help. Things were already dragging.
When she made it to the top of the stairs not many people were at work, but Tommy and Negan were already there. They seemed deep in conversation over some papers they were discussing. Approaching them, she knew that her footsteps had alerted them that she was coming because they both looked up to gaze at her.
“Good morning beautiful,” Negan’s smiled tugged at the corners of his lips hearing Y/N groan when she stepped before the two of them. It wasn’t that she didn’t like being called beautiful. Hell, that was sweet. It was that she was exhausted and she didn’t really know if she was ready for being so social this early in the morning.
“Beautiful? Why is her nickname nice?” Tommy looked to Negan with his face scrunched up. “You’re a dick to everyone, but you’re nice to her?”
“He calls you pretty boy. How is that any different than beautiful?” she reasoned with Tommy and it drew a glare from Tommy’s dark eyes making her laugh. “Plus, you call him Sticks.”
“He means it in a negative way,” Tommy pointed out looking back to the clipboard that he had in his hands. “And Ellie is the one that came up with Sticks. Joel and I just took it on because it works.”
“Which led to everyone else in town calling me that,” Negan reminded Tommy who seemed amused with the fact it spread like that. “I guess I’ve been called worse though, so I guess I’ll take it.”
“Keep it up with Mr. Grumpy Pants and I’m sure Joel will come up with something new,” Y/N teased making Negan chuckle before he went back to look at the work they were originally discussing. Y/N leaned against the metal railing of the platform walkway letting the two of them talk. It was undoubtedly about the installation of the oversized turbine that they had hanging over the work floor. It was something they were happy to find in good condition so they could switch out one of the old ones. Turning to stare out at it, she was in awe of how big it actually was. They had obviously hoisted this thing up last night when she had already gone home, but it was huge and it reminded her of going to museums in the past as a child. There were so many questions she had. How did they get it here? How long did it take to get here? Where did they find it? Instead she just focused on the simple. “How many people did it take to get that thing up and hanging?”
Y/N looked back over her shoulder at Tommy knowing that he would have been the one that was in charge of this whole thing with Maria’s father. Tommy handed Negan over the clipboard that he was holding and moved in beside her, “A lot.”
“That’s not a number,” she huffed making Tommy let out a long exhale.
“Personally, I think it should have been switched out last night when you had everyone here,” Negan noted, stepping in beside Y/N so they could stare out at it. There was a sound that made Negan flinch making both Y/N and Tommy look at him. It was being held up by many cables and was visibly heavy as hell. “If you don’t get that done sometime soon, the cables are going to snap. You can hear the tension the weight of that fucker is causing on the cables.”
“We took out the old one yesterday and got this thing hoisted up,” Tommy explained, observing the cables that were holding the turbine up off the ground and in the air. “Trust me, we have enough cables on it. Nothing is bringing that sucker down.”
“You say nothing and I hear the straining of the cables,” Negan insisted with a wrinkle of his nose, looking up again. The vein at the side of Negan’s neck was protruding showing that he was stressed looking up at the thing. “I think you should have used more cables. If that thing drops it could fucking kill someone.”
“It’s been up all-night Negan. If it was going to fall it probably would have done it during the night I reckon,” Tommy pointed out, his southern drawl trying to assure Negan that everything would be fine. “Trust me, it’s not going anywhere. In less than an hour we will have everyone here again to get it in place. We’ll have the hands and the manpower to get it in its proper place. They made sure last night that it was up their securely.”
“I’m telling you Tommy, I can hear the cables straining,” Negan repeated, trying to stress how he was feeling about the whole thing. “I feel like we should get everyone out of here just until we’re ready to get that thing down.”
“I hear you, but there is just a few of us anyways. We need to get these water pressures tested before we get that thing into place,” Tommy instructed making Negan grumble under his breath when he didn’t agree with that kind of decision. “Negan, it’s going to be fine. Trust me.”
The sound of footsteps on the platform were heard making Negan’s head turn to see that Joel was approaching them. Negan snapped his fingers at Joel before waving him to them. Joel stopped, looking over his shoulder to make sure that Negan was calling out to him before slowly approaching, “Thank God you’re here Joel. Would you tell your brother that it’s for the best if we get everyone out of here before those cables snap? I know everyone is going to be here in the next hour to get it where it needs to go, but the cables are pulled taut. I would be so much more comfortable if we got the fuck out of here until that point. I don’t think we should risk the people we do have. If I’m wrong, then I can admit it, but what’s the worst that happens?”
Instead of listening to Negan, Joel’s eyes were on Y/N and it made her feel uncomfortable. This morning she left before Joel woke up and she was sure that he was confused as to why, “Joel?”
“What?” Joel grumbled seeing the frustrated expression that Negan was giving him before he looked up at the turbine being held above them. Joel observed it for a moment before his dark eyes lowered to look to Y/N again. “You know, I’m sure it’s fine.”
“I just wish we could get that thing down before the cables give out,” Negan pushed further making Tommy grunt. “If you listen to the sound the cables are giving off. It’s not good.”
“We don’t have the people to do that yet Negan. It’s heavy,” Tommy reiterated making Negan lower his head and let out an overwhelmed breath.
“Just wait a minute Tommy,” Joel pressed his finger in over his lips to get everyone to silence themselves. Joel listened carefully making Negan’s eyebrows arch up. Giving everything one final look, Joel gave a simple shrug. “It seems fine to me. We’ll just be extra careful and try to stick around the edges. We won’t let anyone underneath it. I reckon Tommy here knows what he’s doing more than any of us. He’s been here the longest.”
“Whatever you say boss,” Negan shook his head visibly frustrated that both Miller boys were blowing off his worries. Negan’s hands rest at his hips and it was obvious he wanted to fight more for it, but he felt like it was going to go on deaf ears. “Well, I guess I should haul ass and work on checking the pressure. So if you will excuse me…”
When Negan walked away it was obvious that he didn’t agree with the decision as he cussed under his breath and went to go do what he was assigned. Attempting to follow him, Y/N felt Joel grabbing a soft hold of her wrist before she could leave and it made her let out a long sigh, “Joel, I have to help him.”
“Could we have a minute?” Joel asked of his little brother and it seemed like Tommy wanted to say something, but he simply just nodded his head. Tommy took his time in walking away before Joel turned on his heel to have his chocolate brown eyes hook with Y/N’s. With a long sigh, Joel released her wrist and shrugged. “Why did you leave before I woke up?”
“I had some things to get done here early,” she lied knowing that she didn’t feel like facing Joel after the scene she caused last night. During the night, she really put the blame on herself for feeling the way she did. The last thing she wanted was Joel mad or upset with her for not feeling loved enough. A fear had been spinning in her head making her panic. She could do what Negan suggested and talk things out with Joel, but there was that chance he would get angry with her and not want her in his life at all. So she just held back her emotions instead and snuck out before she could make an even bigger fool of herself in her eyes.
“I would have made us some breakfast,” Joel’s hands shifted and she wondered if he was about to grab her hands, but instead he pushed his hands into his pockets. His eyebrows tensed, his jaw flexing when his lips parted. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself and sighed. “I think we should have talked about…things.”
“I thought you might be mad at me,” she explained, not finding herself wanting to lie to him. Joel shook his head, his eyebrows arching in curiosity when she made that comment. “After I just left you last night, I figured you might be upset with me.”
“I probably deserved it,” Joel stammered and she knew that it was him just trying to make her feel better to some degree. “I just think we need to talk.”
“You’re not really someone who wants to talk about things,” she reminded him and Joel tipped his head from side to side before sighing. It was a true statement. Joel would rather shut down completely than fight or discuss things that were negative. “I love you enough to push my feelings aside. If you don’t love me and it makes you feel forced and uncomfortable when I say certain things, then I promise you I will learn to hide those emotions. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You’re not going to lose me,” Joel hushed her, stepping forward raising his hand up like he was going to touch her face, but instead he squeezed over her shoulder. Closing the distance between the two of them, he started to whisper as she felt a chill flood down her spine. “Also, I never said that I didn’t…”
There was a silence, her eyebrows bouncing up when he had a problem saying that word, “Love me?”
“It’s just complicated,” Joel sighed loudly, his eyes gazing all around them and she wished he would have cared less about what other people thought in this moment. “I’m complicated.”
“No shit,” she joked making a bit of color flush into Joel’s cheeks. “You told me from the beginning that you were not an affectionate person. I heard the warnings and I got with you anyways. It’s wrong of me to try to pressure you into being someone that you don’t want to be.”
“Y/N,” Joel frowned, he wanted to say so much, but he couldn’t muster it up enough to actually come up with the words. She stood there. Her eyes staring out at him. There was that want to hear the things she had so desperately needed, but he didn’t know how to give her what she wanted. It just took…time. Feelings were hard for him.
“Joel,” someone called out to him making him grumble under his breath.
“We’ll finish our conversation later,” Joel offered making her swallow down hard and nod. What else could she say really? Joel just left her to her work and she went to it.
Maybe burying herself in her job would be the way to make herself feel better. There were so many things that she wanted in this life, but it was an apocalyptic world after all. It was a miracle that she was living in a town like Jackson let alone even being alive. She’d just have to train herself to stop being so emotional about things and just be happy to have the things she did in life.
There was a strange sound that filled the air making her lift her head. The large turbine that had been the topic of discussion earlier was wiggling above her on the second story platform she was on. If it was as sturdy as Tommy suggested that wouldn’t be happening, right? Swallowing down hard, she wanted to trust Joel’s brother, but the vibrations that were traveling down the cables that were hoisting it up had her frozen.
“I don’t like that,” Negan called out from where he was across the way. Lowering her stare, she saw him wave his hand about. “Do whatever you have to and then get the fuck out of there. The sound is making me nervous as hell.”
“I can see why,” she responded knowing that the tension was clearly strong on the cables before she went back to checking the valves she was supposed to. There was definitely reason for Negan to worry and she was noticing now what Negan had been mentioning to Tommy was a valid complaint.
Working quickly had her fumbling with things and she was cussing to herself. Fear was flooding her veins wondering if Negan was right that the turbine was not stable. With a snapping sound, she felt the tool that she needed falling from her hands and onto the metal flooring. Swiftly looking over her shoulder, she saw one of the cables swinging about after it had snapped leaving the turbine to wiggle back and forth putting even more tension on the other cables that were barely holding it up.
Her heart was racing when another snap of a cable filled the air. She should have been running and getting the hell out of there since it was predominantly over her, but she couldn’t move. There was yelling, but before she could physically respond to everything she felt her body being tackled away just as more of the cables broke with a popping sound that echoed throughout the entire building. Just as she hit the ground with someone who took most of the weight of the fall with a groan, a crashing sound that shook them surrounded them as the turbine came smashing through the second story metal platform. Where she was standing before would have been where the heaviest part of the turbine landed after most of the cables broke. It would have crushed her if she was still there. The person that grabbed her was still scrambling to pull them back with the final cables starting to give out showing that the turbine was going to fall completely.
Doing her best to crawl back as quickly as she could seeing that the final threads of the cables were giving out made her realize she was losing this battle. People were screaming for them to move, but there was nowhere for them to go. They were stuck up on the platform and had been trapped.
“We have to get up,” Negan’s voice boomed beside her making her realize that it was Negan who had saved her life. Pieces of the wall started crumbling down around them before the final snaps of the cables were heard. It gave them no time to run as the turbine crashed through the platform.
Wrapping his arms around her, Negan did his best to keep her from getting hurt knowing that they were far enough away from the turbine that neither of them would be crushed, but it wouldn’t keep them safe from the loose cables or the destruction that was going to come to the platform they were on. The part of the platform they were on snapped after the turbine plowed through the area she was standing before. It caused them both to drop down with their section of their platform making them fall to the first floor.
“Fuck!” Negan wailed out in agony that undoubtedly filled the building when Negan’s shoulder took the brunt of the fall they had together. It knocked the wind out of the both of them leaving them frozen in the shambles of the platform that they went down with. It felt like the world was spinning around her. The fall had definitely made her disoriented. Dust had been kicked up and there was no doubt that they were both injured. But how badly was really the question.
Negan’s breathing was loud and rubble was surrounding them from the fall they took. There was a grimace over Negan’s face showing he was in severe pain. People in the building were starting to run out to them in attempts to help but another piece of the platform over them was visibly hanging ready to break and fall.
With a roar, Negan managed to pull them up from the rubble, using his left arm to drag her across the floor to safety before dropping down again. Gasps filled the air when Negan managed to move them just in time to avoid being crushed again by the remaining parts of the platform. Negan was curled up in pain when people finally were able to get to them to check on them to make sure they were safe.
“Focus on her,” Negan demanded rolling onto his back, lifting his head to stare out at Y/N with worried eyes. If anything, it was Negan that should have been checked on. He took on the weight of the fall. If anything her wrist felt like it was on fire. She knew that she would definitely have bruises and cuts from the accident, but it could have been a whole lot worse if he didn’t save her. Pushing at the people surrounding him, Negan cried out when he slid across to her and reached out with his left arm to pull her into his lap. If anything she was more so stunned than hurt, but Negan was worried about her lack of response to things. Negan’s fingers stroked at the side of her face making her turn into his touch. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she whimpered when Negan’s thumb stroked against her cheekbone. Negan let out a relieved breath, his forehead pressing to hers when she rest in against him while he held onto her. Closing her eyes tightly, she could hear Negan’s panicked breaths surrounding her and she nodded. “I swear. I’m okay.”
“Thank God,” Negan grumbled and she felt him kiss her forehead. The gesture surprised her, but she didn’t question it. They almost just died. Shifting up onto her wrist, she whined bracing her weight on it realizing that she had obviously hurt her wrist in the accident. With worried eyes, Negan looked down to survey her wrist. Having his finger stroking over her flesh to check on her had her heart hammering inside of her chest. “Is it broken?”
“I think it’s just sprained,” she explained with uneven breaths finally realizing that Negan’s arm was hanging at his right side and it made her let out a nervous sound. When her vision came completely to she could see that there was a cut on Negan’s cheek bone and the bridge of his nose. “You’re hurt.”
“I’m fine,” he assured her with a shake of his head, stroking his fingers over her jawline while she stared up at him with big eyes. “I’m sorry for tackling you.”
“Don’t be, I would be crushed if it wasn’t for you,” she reminded him, feeling his forehead pressing to hers again while others were trying to help them. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she heard the pained sound that fell from Negan’s throat, but she didn’t want to let him go in that moment knowing that this man had just saved her life.
“Y/N!” a voice screamed out, making her lift her head to see Joel running into the room. Trying to pull herself up, it took a minute before she was able to. Joel ran out to her, pushing through the people to get to her. When his arms wrapped around her, it took her breath away to have him hugging her. It hurt honestly with how tightly he hugged her, but he probably didn’t know and she didn’t care. Joel’s breathing was uneven while he squeezed her tightly to him. “I thought you were hurt…and I…”
“Negan saved my life,” she whispered, pulling her head back to see that Joel’s worried chocolate brown-colored eyes were focused solely on hers. Joel grasped her chin between his thumb and index finger, turning her head carefully to look at the scratches over her face. Joel surveyed her face before hugging her again and it made her rest her head against his shoulder. It was the first time that Joel had really showed her any kind of affection in public and she was drawn to it. Knowing that he was worried about her helped to settle her after everything happened.
“Holy shit,” Tommy’s voice surrounded them when he found his way to the accident. It made her look back over her shoulder to see Negan pulling himself up into a seated position. It looked like he was having trouble getting up, but Tommy helped get Negan to his feet. “Are you okay?”
“I think my shoulder is dislocated,” Negan looked to his right arm making Y/N let out a nervous sound when Joel carefully released her. When Joel stepped before Negan, it made Negan’s hazel eyes narrow out at him.
“I can fix it. It’s just going to hurt like hell,” Joel offered seeing Negan give him a small nod. Y/N stepped forward, Negan’s eyes were locked on hers when Joel reached for Negan’s arm. Stretching her fingers out, she grasped onto Negan’s hand that Joel wasn’t touching. “On the count of three…”
“Okay,” Negan gave a firm nod looking to Joel. “One…”
With a pained hiss, Negan tossed his head back, biting back on the agony that wanted to escape his lips after Joel had adjusted Negan’s shoulder back into place early. The veins in Negan’s neck were prominent with the stress and tension of what Joel had obviously just done to fix Negan’s shoulder. “You yee-haw motherfucker! Fuck! You said on fucking three!”
“You would have tensed up on three and it could have fucked it up,” Joel explained observing Negan’s arm while Tommy stood next to them still obviously flustered with what happened.
“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you Negan,” Tommy apologized as he paced the small space of the warehouse. It hadn’t destroyed any of the equipment to keep the electricity going, but it destroyed the second story platform and did some damage to the walls of the plant. “I’m so sorry.”
“I think it’s best we get them to the doctor right now,” Maria pushed through them to reach for both Negan and Y/N to get them away from the group of people.
Joel and Tommy followed not far behind while Maria and a few others helped get Y/N and Negan back to town to be seen by their doctor. They were sitting in the medical pavilion together and it was silent. Negan had the doctor look at Y/N first, he was resting back against the bed they had him on and it was obvious he was in a shit load of pain while they took care of Y/N.
It shouldn’t have, but there was a sense of happiness that flooded her body because Joel was on the side of her that wasn’t hurt, his fingers hooked tightly with hers in a supportive grasp while the doctor made sure everything was okay with her, “She doing okay doc?”
“Well, she has a sprained wrist with some bumps and bruises, but otherwise…” the doctor finished wrapping her wrist before pushing back and away from her. “She’s fine.”
“Thank God,” Joel stammered, leaning forward to press a kiss against the back of her hand making a sharp breath fall from her throat knowing that it was the first time Joel had ever done something like that in front of other people.
“You know,” Negan finally spoke up, his head lifting to look down at Tommy who was sitting at the opposite end of the room with Maria sitting beside him. “I hate to say I told you so, but I fucking told you so.”
“You were right, I was wrong,” Tommy agreed with Negan, his eyes full of remorse over what he had done. “Thankfully, Joel listened to you and moved people off the first floor so no one was hurt, but the two of you almost died because of my ignorance and I’m sorry.”
“Eh, I’m alive,” Negan felt the doctor moving in beside him and when the doctor urged him to sit up, Negan winced so loud that it made all of them jump. “Yeah, the ribs kind of hurt doc.”
“Let’s see what we have going on,” the doctor helped get Negan’s shirt off and as soon as he did, it made Y/N gasp out. Pulling her fingers from Joel’s, she got up from the bed and moved in beside Negan’s bed. Joel followed her, wanting to make sure that she was okay to stand when he spotted what she did.
“Shit, that bad?” Negan could see the color drained from Y/N’s face when he lifted his head to see the bruising that was done to his ribs already and to his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I just wanted to make myself more colorful.”
“With your mouth? I think your colorful enough,” Maria stood up from the seat she was in to stand at the bottom of Negan’s bed. “People are going to know what you did Negan.”
“I’m not dying or dead Maria. I have broken ribs,” Negan winced when the doctor moved him to look at the rest of his body. With a shake of his head, Negan bit down on his bottom lip and looked down. “I don’t need people thinking I’m a hero. I’m not.”
“You are,” Tommy spoke up, his voice trembling when he got up as well. “If you didn’t react like you did, you’d both be dead and it would be my fault.”
“It was an accident,” Negan insisted, his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he stared out at Tommy and Maria. “Please, don’t turn me into something that I’ve never been. I’m no hero. I did what anyone in my position would do. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Don’t honor me like I’m dead.”
“We need to get you into the x-ray room,” the doctor instructed and Y/N went to help get Negan up, but Joel shook his head. Motioning her to sit down, Joel wrapped his arm around Negan’s waist and used Negan’s good arm to hook it around his shoulders to brace him.
“I’ve got him,” Joel helped Negan toward the x-ray room helping Negan to sit down. It was just the two of them while they waited and Joel pushed his hands into his pockets. “I owe you a thank you. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to her.”
“You want to thank me?” Negan looked up at Joel, his face twisting with pain while he tried to adjust his body to make himself more comfortable. Joel nodded, swallowing the lump down in his throat while Negan’s long eyelashes fluttered. “Then tell Y/N what you just told me. Tell her that you would fucking be lost if something happened to her. You almost just lost her. I think it’s time you stopped fucking around.”
“Excuse me?” Joel rumbled, his face scrunching up in anger when Negan nodded his head.
“You heard me. You have one hell of a woman Joel and she’s hurting because of you. You may not mean to do it, but you are,” Negan declared making a rush of anger flood through Joel’s veins knowing that Y/N had clearly talked about their relationship with Negan. “If you want to thank me for saving her life, then tell her that you love her. That woman thinks the world of you and you mean everything to her. Show her that you feel the same way. She almost died Joel, don’t you think it’s time?”
“I…” Joel heard the doctor requesting him to leave the room and his gaze turned to Negan who waited for an answer. “I’ll be out in the hallway for when you’re done.”
“Yeah,” Negan stammered when Joel moved to the hallway to wait. The things that Negan had said were repeating in his head. On the one hand, they did make sense, but on the other hand he was furious to have Negan lecturing him about his relationship with Y/N in a moment like this. Knowing the stress and the pain that they had been put through today though, he kept his mouth shut when it was time to take Negan back to his bed.
Standing back, Joel watched Y/N’s fingers slide out over Negan’s while the doctor was going over what he had discovered. It was obvious that Negan meant a lot to Y/N. She had stressed plenty of times in the past that Negan was her best friend but knowing that Y/N actually went to Negan to talk about their relationship upset him. It meant that Y/N wasn’t happy with what they had and she was making it clear to other people.
The doctor suggested that Y/N relaxed at home, but she was too nervous about Negan. Tommy and Maria had promised her that they would get Negan home and Joel had taken Y/N back himself. Even though he was likely expected to be at the plant, he stayed home with Y/N to make sure that she was okay.
“So tell me again what happened?” Ellie rocked back and forth on the floor where she was seated listening to the story of their accident. She had already asked Y/N many questions, but it seemed like Ellie wanted it in complete details.
“Ellie,” Joel grumbled from where he was seated at the other end of the couch from Y/N. “It’s probably horrifying to think about what happened.”
“I’m alive, that’s what counts,” Y/N breathed out, her tired eyes gazing over at Joel who seemed more upset about everything than she did. “There isn’t much to it. There was this huge turbine that was hanging up because they wanted to switch it out. The cables that were holding it up snapped. Negan tackled me out of the way and the turbine fell. It broke through the second story platform and we both fell to the first floor. Negan took most of the damage.”
“And he’s alive?” Ellie repeated her question making both Y/N and Joel nod. “That’s fucking crazy. That sounds like something out of those action movies we’ve watched together Joel.”
“Your mouth Ellie,” Joel grumbled under his breath making Ellie huff when she waved her hand about in the air.
“Y/N is used to it and I guarantee people are used to it by now around here. If they aren’t, well…fuck em,” Ellie retorted with a roll of her eyes knowing that Joel’s southern attitude was too much sometimes. “Well shit, I’m glad you’re still here Y/N.”
“Me too,” Y/N responded with a long exhale still feeling sore all over from everything.
“Negan learned all those moves he used today to save you from video games. I promise you,” Ellie commented making Y/N smirk, but Joel hated that they were focusing on Negan. “The dude is crazy awesome. I’ll have to go check on him at some point. He’s like a real-life superhero. He’s old like Joel and still managed to do that.”
Joel gave Ellie a glare after she commented on his age again. It made Ellie giggle before shrugging her shoulders.
“I don’t think I want you working at the powerplant anymore,” Joel informed Y/N after they had a moment of quiet between the three of them making Y/N tip her head to the side to stare out at him. “It’s too dangerous after that happened. You should be doing something else. Something safer.”
“I’m not helpless Joel,” she declared making Joel grumble something under his breath. “It was a one-time thing you know.”
“I would still feel more comfortable knowing that you were doing a job that was safer,” Joel insisted with a wrinkle of his nose, stretching his arm out across the couch to drag his fingers over her shoulders. “There are other jobs that I think you are fully capable of. They just put you and Negan in the power plant because they needed workers at the time and new people were sent there.”
“I go where I’m needed,” she didn’t put up much of a fight about the situation. Hell, she wasn’t eager to go back, that was for sure. Ellie pulled herself up from the ground and Y/N gave her a weak smile. “Where are you going kiddo?”
“I’m going to go check on Negan. He might need help with Morgan,” Ellie explained moving toward the door only to have Joel call out to her. “What?”
“Why would Negan need help with Morgan?” Joel questioned making Ellie’s face scrunch up.
“Because he sounds like he got his assed kicked. I’ll be right back,” Ellie threw her hands up and left the two of them alone together.
Looking to Y/N, Joel saw her lower her head into the palm of her hand and he could tell that she was in pain, “You know, you should take that pain medicine they gave you. There is a reason he gave it to you.”
“I hate acting like it was such a big deal,” she responded with a wince when Joel took his time to slide across the couch. Motioning her forward, Joel wrapped his arms around her and let her cuddle in against his chest. Joel nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck and it made her close her eyes tightly. When Joel deposited a faint kiss against the side of her neck it made her reach up to hook his fingers with hers. “Joel.”
“I’m sorry about last night,” Joel apologized making her heart skip a beat. Having him hold her like this had her swooning more than she cared to admit. This was everything she had ever wanted from him. “If you would have died …you would have left this world thinking that I didn’t care about you.”
A shuddering breath escaped her throat when Joel pressed a kiss against her temple and it made her sink back further into him. With Joel nuzzling his nose against the side of her head, she closed her eyes and got comfortable with him loving the feeling of this.
“I’m sorry about last night too,” she whispered stroking her fingers over Joel’s. “I don’t know why I’ve gotten so emotional about things lately. I’ve gotten myself so upset over nothing. I’m happy with you. You mean everything to me.”
Clearing his throat, Joel felt her lowering down to rest her head in his lap. Stroking his fingers through her hair, he thought about what Negan had said to him when he took Negan to the x-ray, “So you aren’t hurting because of me then?”
Hearing Joel ask her that made her lift her head up from his lap to stare up at him and he huffed, “Negan said that to me. That you were hurting because of me. Because apparently Negan knows about our personal life.”
“What did Negan say?” she lifted up seeing Joel’s face scrunching up when he was thinking about the things that Negan had said earlier to him.
“He told me what I needed to do to make our relationship work,” Joel informed her with a disgusted breath, “I guess you went around telling other people about how I make you feel miserable? Huh?”
“I just…I talked to Negan because he’s my best friend,” she alerted Joel noticing that he seemed quite mad at the idea of her talking to Negan about their relationship. “I thought I was the problem, Joel. I asked him if I was overreacting and at the end of our discussion, I decided that I was the problem. I was trying to force you into being something that you weren’t. I knew who you were. You told me and I knew that it was me that was expecting too much out of you.”
There was a silence that fell over them when she pulled herself up into a seated position, “Are you doing this because of what Negan said to you?”
“What?” Joel scoffed seeing the sadness that flooded into her features.
“This tender, sensitive touching and comforting,” she referred to what they had just done before Joel brought up Negan. “Was this of your own accord or did you do it to prove Negan wrong?”
“Why are you even asking something like that? I wouldn’t have done it unless I wanted to do it,” Joel insisted with a firm shake of his head seeing the sadness flood into her features. “Y/N I care about you.”
“Do you?” she felt her throat go dry when Joel let out a frustrated breath.
“Of course I do. I don’t want anything to happen to you. When I heard that the accident happened, all I could think about was you,” Joel asserted, his messy hair falling in his face when he shook his head. “Negan couldn’t make me do shit that I didn’t want to do. I just wish that you didn’t talk to Negan about what was going on in our lives.”
“He’s my best friend, I need someone to talk to,” she saw Joel frown and she let out a long sigh. “You’re right, it’s none of his business. I told you I was just emotional and I was overthinking things. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Joel shook his head and extended his hand out to brush his fingers in over her jawline to trace over it with his rough fingertips. “I think this was just a sign that the two of us need to start working on us.”
“Sounds good,” she agreed, leaning forward enough to brush a delicate kiss over his lips before she cuddled her head in against the center of his chest. Even if this was because of what Negan had said earlier, she was going to take advantage of it because this was the one thing she always wanted most from Joel and she wasn’t going to miss out on it.
----
Tossing in bed again for the third night in a row, Y/N pulled the blankets in closer to her body. She should have been sleeping. She was exhausted, but once again, she couldn’t turn her mind off. Licking her lips, she looked to the other side of the bed to see that Joel was doing what he had done most nights before. Most of the day he had been super touchy feely with her, but when it came to the night he had gone back to his normal routine. She was hoping that he would have held her tonight. That he would have wanted to comfort her in her sleep since she almost died, but he wasn’t.
It made her think about him mentioning Negan and she wondered if he only did what he did because of what Negan said. Swallowing down hard, she carefully pushed herself up into a seated position and it hurt like hell to do that. Whether she wanted to or not, she needed to start taking that pain medication because she was sore as hell. The fall she had taken wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but it still knocked her on her ass.
Getting up carefully, she looked over at Joel who barely budged when she got up. Heading downstairs, she grabbed her jacket and pulled it on. One other thing that she kept replaying in her mind was how Negan had saved her life. If it wasn’t for him, she would have been dead and she knew it.
Being quiet, she left the house like she had done the night before, but this time she was a bit slower. When she got to Negan’s home, she knocked on the door and waited. Looking up at the window that Negan was at the night before, she hoped she would at least get to tell him thank you. When he didn’t come to the window, she stepped back and away from the door knowing it was stupid to bother him when he was so badly injured early in the day. Turning on her heel to head back, she heard a door being pulled open and she looked back to see Negan standing in the doorway. His arm was in a sling and he looked absolutely exhausted with his hair messy.
“You know, if you keep showing up at this time of night, I’m just going to give you a key,” Negan teased with a weak smile. Instead of responding, she closed the distance between them to cautiously wrap her arms around him to hug him. Loosely wrapping his good arm around her abdomen, Negan nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck when he leaned down to cherish the warmth of the hug. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep on the couch. These drugs they have us on are…strong.”
Instead of saying anything more, she rubbed her cheek against the center of his chest and it made Negan sigh, “Are you okay?”
“Can we talk?” she questioned making Negan nod and wave her to come in with him. “What about Morgan?”
“She’s sleeping upstairs,” Negan pointed toward the stairs when she entered his home. Closing the door behind her, Negan could see that Y/N was eying over the fireplace where a fire was lit. Negan limped over toward the couch and groaned out when he sat down. Following him over to the couch, Y/N made sure to stay close to Negan while his hazel eyes gazed out at her. “What’s up beautiful?”
“You saved my life today, Negan,” she reached out for his left hand, hooking her fingers with his. It took a moment for her to gather herself while he gave her his full attention. “No questions asked. You threw yourself in the way of danger to save me. You were perfectly safe where you were when that turbine started falling. That part of the platform didn’t fall today. You could have just stayed where you were, but you didn’t. You risked everything to save me.”
“I did what anyone would have done,” Negan shook his head dismissively, “it’s no big deal.”
“It’s a very big deal to me Negan. A lot of people would not have done what you did,” she reasoned with him hearing Negan chuckle before shrugging his shoulders. “Most people would have worried about themselves. They would have never risked their lives for someone else’s. Trust me, I know how people act after this many years. You took on the brunt of the accident to keep me safe.”
“I would do anything to protect you,” Negan whispered, squeezing her hand in his making a lump develop in her throat. “I would do a whole lot for you Y/N.”
“I heard,” she made Negan’s lips part when she looked down to where their fingers were hooked together. “Joel told me what you said to him.”
“Are you mad?” Negan stammered making her shake her head. “I just want to see you happy Y/N. That’s all. I wanted Joel to realize what he almost lost today and I wanted him to finally give you what you wanted.”
“Broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder and you’re still thinking about someone else,” she half laughed making Negan roll his eyes and groan. “I’m not mad at you. You’re too good to me really.”
“Nah,” Negan made an exaggerated expression before bobbing his head about. “Now though, it might be a good thing. Since I got my ass handed to me, I don’t have to work at the powerplant anymore. Maria was talking to me about what I was good at and I told her about how I love to bake and cook. She’s thinking about putting me to work as a cook at the lunch hall. Or if they don’t have a position there, she was considering putting me in the school or working at the library.”
“What?” her nose wrinkled seeing Negan’s eyebrows bounce in amusement. “You as a teacher?”
“I was a teacher before this shit started. A gym teacher, but a teacher nonetheless,” Negan informed her with a tip of his head, his long eyelashes fluttering while she looked up at him. Sliding in carefully next to Negan, she got comfortable and rest her head against his good shoulder. Negan cuddled his head in next to hers while they sat together on his couch. “I don’t know how good I was, but I liked doing it. And working at the library, apparently, it’s shit there and since I love books so much they thought I could help set something up.”
“Or maybe she’ll let you do all three,” Y/N suggested making Negan snort. Her fingers pulled from Negan’s and she stroked her fingertips over the cross tattoo that was over his flesh at the center of his inner arm. “I never realized how many tattoos you have.”
“There’s a lot of them,” Negan yawned and got more comfortable on the couch with her. It was strange how easily she could cuddle up with Negan but being closer to the fire and being with someone who saved her life made it so much easier for her to be comfortable.
“Negan?” she breathed out, stroking her fingers over his again before hooking their fingers together. “Why did you save me? Really?”
“I couldn’t imagine a day without you Y/N. You’re one of the best parts of my day,” Negan answered making her head lift up and his eyes hooked with hers. “I love talking to you. I love being near you. I love your smile…”
Negan’s eyes were hooked on hers when her breathing got heavy and he simply shrugged his shoulders, “A world without you isn’t a world I want to picture. Given the chance to do it again, I would make the same choice every time.”
“Keep saying shit like that and I might just tell you I love you,” she teased him, her palm carefully placing in over the center of Negan’s chest making him let out a long breath.
“I love you Y/N,” Negan whispered, surprising her to hear it. His tone was deep, raspy and tired when she pushed herself up on her good wrist to stare out at him. “You’re the first person in a long time to see me. You see me even when I don’t see myself. I love you. And I’d do whatever it took to make you happy or to keep you safe.”
“You’re high on your drugs,” she watched Negan smirk before shaking his head. Hearing Negan say that had her heart hammering inside of her chest. Negan closed his eyes and it felt like the room was spinning around her. Outstretching her hand, she stroked her fingers over the side of Negan’s face teasing her fingertips through his short beard. Pressing forward, she closed her eyes as she pressed her lips to Negan’s. At first, Negan was surprised but as she kissed him, he started to relax and kiss her back. It was vastly different than kissing Joel, but not necessarily in a bad way. When they parted, her nose nuzzled in against his.
When she went to lean in to kiss Negan again, he pulled his head back and shook his head, “You love Joel. Don’t do something you’re going to regret in ten minutes. I saved your life today and you’re just…thankful. I get it.”
“Joel,” she stood up from the couch realizing what she had done in kissing Negan. Negan’s tired expression looked up at her as he adjusted in his seat. “God, what was I thinking? I kissed you with Morgan upstairs. How could I do that to someone else?”
“Wait a minute,” Negan groaned when he pulled himself up from the couch. “Joel, I get. But why would Morgan care if I was kissing someone? You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Of course I do,” Y/N was flustered seeing Negan shake his head and he seemed amused by her response to Morgan. “She’s upstairs Negan. Do you think she would be okay knowing that you were down here kissing someone?”
“I mean, I don’t think she’d care,” Negan pointed out, his hazel eyes confused when she panicked about the kiss that she planted on him. “I guess I would probably have to explain things to her, but after I did, I don’t think she would have a problem with it.”
“What kind of relationship do the two of you have?” Y/N was surprised to hear Negan say that and it made Negan’s eyebrows furrow. He went to say something, but then his lips parted and he simply shook his head. “I’m sorry Negan. You’re right, I was just caught up in the fact that you saved my life and I did something that probably will ruin our relationship because you were telling me that you loved me in a best friend way. I’ve just been so touch starved and eager to hear and feel the things I do with you from Joel that I mistook this whole thing and…I can’t believe that I did that. I am so sorry…”
Heading for the door, Y/N felt Negan grabbing a hold of her arm carefully, urging her to look back at him. Pressing forward, he captured her jaw between his thumb and index finger while lowering down in closer to her. His other fingers rest at the side of her neck when he pressed in closer to her, giving her far enough time to pull away. His nose nudged against hers before his lips captured hers. Warmth radiated through her body with Negan kissing her. The grasp of his fingers was strong, but not forceful enough to hurt while he continued to kiss her.
Parting her lips, she felt Negan tip his head to the side when he brushed the tip of his tongue against hers making a chill run down her spine before kissing her a few more times. It took her breath away. Her body tremored when Negan pulled the warmth of his lips away from hers, rubbing his cheek in against hers while his good hand slid down in over her hip to keep her close.
The warmth of his breath lingered over hers and her eyelids were heavy with lust when Negan tipped into press another kiss against her temple. Just standing there for a moment, she felt her chest ache knowing that was one of the most incredible kisses she had ever shared with someone. It was full of passion and it was everything that she had hoped that Joel would have kissed her with in the past. Yet, she was sharing it with Negan.
“Right now, you’re having feelings for me because I saved your life. We almost died together, but you’re meant to be with someone like Joel. He’s the good guy,” Negan stroked his thumb in over her bottom lip and his eyelids were heavy with want, but he licked his lips and let out a shuddering breath. “You’re too good for me and you deserve someone better. Someone like Joel. I’m not a good man.”
There was so much she wanted to say, but she was frozen in that moment. She still tasted Negan on her lips and the way he was touching her made her feel like the center of his universe, “This was just a dream you had. In the morning…this never happened.”
“But it did,” she breathed, closing her eyes with the sensation that Negan’s rough fingertips caressing over the side of her face left her with. It was very attentive to her and there was no doubting that she liked kissing Negan. That he made her feel special.
“Like I told you, I would do anything for you,” Negan slurred, his long eyelashes fluttering when he swallowed loud enough for her to hear. “Which is why I’m telling you this was a dream that you conjured up because you were feeling these emotions because I saved you. It was a big deal and when someone saves our lives sometimes, we feel for them ways we wouldn’t normally. I’m not good enough for you Y/N. You need a good man like Joel. You love him. You know that.”
Closing her eyes again, she cherished the way that Negan was touching her before he lowered his head to hers to take a moment just to have her close, “Will you be safe going home?”
“Yes,” she got the hint that he was telling her that it was for the best if she left. When she moved to the door with him, she stopped in the doorway thinking about what had just happened between the two of them. Turning on her heel, she pressed her hand in over the center of Negan’s chest to brace herself. Tipping up on her toes, she brought their lips together one final time feeling Negan’s fingers curling faintly around the back of her neck. When they parted, she had so many thoughts running through her mind and they were all so hard to process at once. “Goodnight Negan.”
“I will see you soon,” Negan breathed out with a tired breath, giving her a wink when she stepped back and away from the house. Heading toward home, she gazed back over her shoulder to see that Negan was still watching her to make sure she got back safely. Truthfully? She was blown away by the kiss she had just shared with someone she considered her best friend. The sensation of his lips still lingered over hers and she didn’t know what to think about it or the things he said.
It was when she stepped before the house she shared with Joel where she started feeling the heavy regret of what she had just done. Her thoughts lingered to Joel. Everything that happened with Negan was all the things she had been begging from Joel over the last year. Right now her emotions were so crossed that she didn’t know how to respond to things. It was bad that she enjoyed the kisses with Negan because she couldn’t get them off her mind. But at the same time she knew that what she had done was wrong because she loved Joel so fucking much.
Pausing on the steps, she took a moment to gather her thoughts and her breathing. It really just hit her now that Negan had told her he loved her. That she meant everything to him and that she needed to pretend that it was just a dream. It was so confusing because she knew he was right, but part of her also understood that she didn’t want to pretend that it was a dream. Heading into the house, she knew that because she was in this state that she had to do the one thing she could actually think to do.
Taking her time getting up the stairs to their bedroom, she sat on the corner of the bed waking Joel up when he pulled his head up from the pillows to stare out at her with his tired expression, “What’s going on?”
“What am I to you Joel?” she felt guilty for kissing Negan knowing that it was wrong since she was so in love with Joel, but she couldn’t help herself at the time. Negan was saying everything that she wanted to hear from Joel for so long, Negan was showing her that touch and affection that Joel had yet to show her.
“Honey, I am so tired,” Joel lowered his head back down to the pillows and he could hear her let out an upset breath. “Y/N? What?”
“What am I to you Joel?” she begged for an answer, making Joel lift up onto his elbows to stare out at her. “I almost died today, I deserve some kind of answer. What am I to you? Am I a companion? Am I your girlfriend? Am I your friend that you just want to share your life with? What am I?”
“I don’t know,” Joel grunted, pulling himself up into a seated position on the bed. His hair was messy while he tried to gather himself enough to give her an answer. “I don’t know Y/N.”
“Come up with something. Because to me, you’re my partner. You’re the man that I want to spend forever with,” she whimpered making Joel frown when he reached up to rub at his tired eyes. “Make me feel like I made the right decision.”
“What?” Joel was confused where that question was coming from. “Made the right decision? The hell does that mean? I thought you were saying that you were being over emotional about things and you were happy with the way that things were.”
“Well, I’m not,” she blurt out making Joel’s face scrunch up in confusion. “I love you. I love you so fucking much and it hurts to not hear you say it back. It makes me feel so fucking lonely being with you because I don’t know how you feel about me. I don’t know if I’m important to you,” she felt her emotions getting the best of her when Joel shifted on his palms at the center of the bed. “I’m not bad for wanting to feel loved. I’m not wrong for wanting more from you.”
“Of course you’re important to me, I thought we both agreed with that today,” Joel reasoned with her reminding her of the things that he said to her earlier in the day. “Why are you doing this? What happened?”
“I need to know,” she pled with him making Joel toss his hands up in the air.
“I don’t know Y/N!” Joel didn’t have an answer for her and she felt her heart-breaking hearing that. When she went to leave, he called out to her. “Mine! You’re mine. That’s what I consider you. Mine.”
“Mine?” she repeated what he said finding herself lost what that meant.
“Yeah. It means that you are mine and I’m yours,” Joel pulled himself to the edge of the bed, reaching for her hands to try to get her to come to him, but he could see that there were tears sliding down the sides of her face. “Y/N? What is this?”
“It shouldn’t have taken me almost dying for you to show me any kind of affection Joel,” she maintained making Joel frown and she could feel her emotions getting the best of her. “I deserved it long before today.”
“Y/N, when I was with Tess…” Joel began, his words falling short when he thought about Tess and his past. “I was with her sixteen years Y/N. Over sixteen years. And in that time I never told her that I loved her. We were just, together. We worked together. We lived together. We were just with each other all the time.”
“So you’re asking me to wait sixteen years for you to make up your mind?” she snapped making Joel huff loudly. “Do you know how old you will be in sixteen years? You’re not a spring chicken Joel.”
“I’m aware of that,” he grumbled brushing his fingers through his graying hair making Y/N bite down on her bottom lip. “I’m just saying what my past was like to get you to realize, it’s not you I have something against. It’s just who I am.”
“I understand that Joel, but I’m not Tess! I can’t wait sixteen years to hear how you feel about me. I don’t know how she did it, but I’m lonely as hell and it’s only been a year, Joel. I need to know that you care about me. That you want to be with me. That I mean just as much to you as you do me.”
Joel swallowed down hard, his brown eyes showing that he wasn’t feeling as deeply into this conversation as she was, “I don’t understand Y/N. I start showing you affection and now you’re yelling at me and crying. I understand that I’m not giving you what you want, but I’m trying. I really am and I want you to be in my life. I told you today that I can’t picture life without you. I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else. I want it to just be you.”
“So am I your girlfriend?” she pushed making Joel’s face twist with frustration when he threw his hands up in the air. “What does mine mean?”
“Yes, you’re my girlfriend,” Joel blurt out before she could leave and she could tell that he was just saying it to placate her. “It’s not healthy for you to be getting this upset after what you went through today. You should be sleeping. We should be sleeping. Tomorrow, I have to go to the powerplant with Tommy to figure out what we are going to do to fix everything. And you need to start feeling better, so please baby…just lay down.”
“I can’t help having emotions Joel,” she whimpered knowing that she was so angry at herself for kissing Negan, but Negan was everything she wanted Joel to be and it just left her so very confused.
“Okay,” Joel hushed her, standing up from the bed to move out toward her to reach for her hands. Leading her toward the bed, Joel got her to lay down before he moved in beside her. With a shuddering breath, she felt Joel’s arm wrapping around her waist while his head cuddled in against the side of her neck. “Now please, just go to sleep. We both need it.”
“Joel,” she bit down on her bottom lip hearing him hushing her, his lips kisses off over her jawline before he got comfortable again.
“We’re going to do what we can to fix things between the two of us. I promise you that,” Joel assured her, his eyes closing while he yawned. “But tonight, we just need to let our body’s heal. Especially you. So give yourself a break. You deserve it.”
----
Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @insertneganhere @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @nt-multi-fandom @tone-stark @chloepricerk800 @thesapphirequeen @jdmsimp @wonwoosthetic
#Jeffrey Dean Morgan#Pedro Pascal#Negan#Joel Miller#negan x reader#joel miller x reader#Joel Miller fanfiction#Negan fanfiction#twd fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#The Last of Us#The Walking Dead
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And They Lived Happily Ever After
Epilogue of the (Y/n) Lively-Reynolds series
Tom Holland x Singer/Actress!Lively-Reynolds!Reader
Summary: (Y/n) Lively-Reynolds and Tom Holland get their happily ever after. It goes about as well as you can imagine it.
Warnings: uuh the end there got a bit on the steamy side so just some nice like snogging and plenty mentions of honeymoon sex and nudity, but otherwise you’re good, switching POVs so you’ll get to see everyone appreciating their love, and you’ll get to see the ceremony from so many people’s eyes, including some you haven’t seen yet ;)
Word Count: 3.4k words
Estimated Reading Time: 15 minutes
A/N: I’m not crying, you’re crying, shut up. This is a really emotional moment for me. My second series is finally over!! I started this accidentally, and it took me ages to finish, but I don’t regret a single second of it. It brought me so much happiness, and I loved reading your thoughts and comments as time went on. I only hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did <3 Just wanna send a million thank you’s to @the-girl-in-the-chair for being my test person and the one I could always talk to when it comes to this series, I love you so much Lana, you’re the beeest
I was picturing this dress (mostly cause it has pocketssss) so if you want a visual, here you go)
Also very important: the vows in this were inspired by the PA Series on AO3 and honestly check it out cause it’s just awesome and those are my relationship goals right there
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
“Alright, sweetheart, deep breaths, everything’s gonna be alright.”
She follows her mother’s instructions, taking in shaky gulps of air.
Breathe in, two, three, four.
Hold, two, three, four.
Breathe out, two, three, four.
Hold, two, three, four.
“Feeling better?”
She nods slowly, then immediately shakes her head.
“No, this is a disaster!”
Blake finally gives up on keeping her dress unwrinkled, sitting down on the floor next to her.
“Angel, everything’s gonna be alright, I don’t even know why you’re freaking out so much. You’re marrying your best friend. You two love each other so much, and you’re gonna be so happy, there’s nothing to worry about.”
She sniffles.
“But there are so many people, Mommy. And they’re all gonna be looking at me. You know I’m not good at the mushy stuff when I have eyes on me, they make me nervous. This is supposed to be perfect, and instead, we had to invite a hoard of insignificant Suits and entitled bitches, all for business. We already give them so much, why couldn’t we just keep this to ourselves?”
She sighs, and brings her daughter closer to her body, crushing her in a hug.
“Cause the world sucks, and it’s all part of the business. You and Tom have been on a break from acting for three months now, and you’ll stay there for another year at the very least. These Suits like to feel like they’re important, and inviting them to events like these keeps up a good relationship for when you come back.
“Besides, who cares about them? You’ll have to shake their hands once at the reception when you’re making your rounds and then it’s over. Don’t let a handful of idiots ruin the best day of your life.”
(Y/n) nods, gently wiping at her eyes, then crawls until she’s in front of the mirror.
“Well, at least we know the waterproof makeup works.”
Blake just smiles.
—
When Ryan first sees (Y/n) he has to pinch his thigh to keep himself from outright sobbing.
“Hey, no! No, no, no, you’re not allowed to cry, because if you cry, I cry, and if I cry, I’ll trip on my dress. These heels are tall, keep yourself together for both our sakes.”
It’s hard, it’s very hard, that’s his little girl, his sweet little daffodil, and she’s gonna sail off into the sunset with the love of her life.
“Alright, let’s do this shit. Try not to fall.”
He’s glad to see that Tom starts crying the second he sees her, so really it isn’t emotional weakness as much as it is the (Y/n) In A Wedding Dress Effect™.
(Y/n) manages to stay composed the whole walk, although her eyes are shining quite a lot.
“Thomas, if you hurt her, I will do something so unspeakably cruel to you that Satan himself will shudder.”
Tom looks at him with a face full of betrayal.
“What if she hurts me?”
“Oh, she most certainly will, you’re much more emotionally fragile than she is. That’s why I know that if you hurt her, it’ll be over something big, and therefore I’m legally allowed to fuck you up.”
(Y/n) kisses his cheek happily.
“Thank you, Daddy, the shovel talk was long overdue.”
It was actually part two of the shovel talk: wedding edition, but she doesn’t need to know that.
—
Taylor reaches into her purse and passes Harry a tissue, eyes still focused on the happy couple in the front.
This is it, right here.
The way (Y/n)’s looking at Tom like he’s the second coming of Christ. Tom rubbing his thumbs on her hands cause he just can’t stop touching her. The way they keep tapping each other three times, an endless loop of I love you I love you I love you.
This is what she’s been trying so hard to describe her whole life.
It gets her a little emotional…to remember the little girl who used to gape at her, and who’s now a badass independent woman marrying the person of her dreams.
It’s a lot.
And if she feels like she’s one strong gust of wind away from an emotional breakdown, she can’t even imagine how Blake and Ryan are faring.
“I understand that you’ve written your own vows. Tom, if you’d like to go first…”
He nods and clears his throat, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants before grabbing (Y/n)’s again.
“Do you remember the night we met? When you were crying over a movie and I took you to Burger King to cheer you up?”
She rolls her eyes and Taylor can relate, honestly. The whole world knows that story at this point.
“Vividly.”
He smiles so softly that Taylor’s itching to pull out her notebook and start writing.
“I’ve never told you how I fell in love with you. I always told myself I’d tell you the story in our wedding vows, so here it is. From the moment we left the afterparty, you kept ranting about the movie, about how it’s gonna end, about your theories… And I loved listening to them. There was one moment though, where you just took a huge bite out of your cheeseburger, while mid-rant… and on everyone else, that would’ve looked disgusting, but your eyes were shining so bright, and you were giving me your full attention and that…that was when I knew I loved you. And I would keep loving you for the rest of my life, 'cause there’s no one else in the world who could pull me in as completely as you do, even though there was ketchup dripping down your chin.”
(Y/n) blinks back tears, eyes wide.
“Oh, you fucker.”
That’s love, Taylor’s sure of it.
—
Now, to be perfectly honest, Harrison thinks those vows were shit.
Seriously?
You looked disgusting but I still thought you were hot?
That’s his big wedding speech?
As the good Best Man he is, he’s considering smacking Tom upside the head and making him start over.
He’s not expecting (Y/n) to like it to the point of tears, though.
Like, I’m sorry, but what the fuck?
He’s lucky he’s an actor cause no ordinary person would’ve been able to keep the confusion out of their face, and you don’t want a hoard of confused people on your wedding pictures.
(Y/n)’s turn now, and hopefully, she’ll do better.
“I promise that your ability to cook, clean, and remind me to eat only make up sixty per cent of why I’m marrying you.”
Harrison has to fight back the urge to sigh and facepalm.
“I wasn’t planning on liking you, let alone falling as deeply in love with you as I did. My plan was to hate you, make all my fans hate you, and do it fast enough that Marvel would have no choice but to replace you with Andrew again.”
From the audience, Andrew laughs.
“But unfortunately for me, you’re not easy to hate, and let me tell you, I tried really hard. You slithered your way into my heart like a particularly stubborn snake and I had no choice but to let you carve out your home within me and prepare myself for the inevitable heartbreak.
“That still hasn’t happened. For some reason, you’ve chosen to ignore the fact that I’m a barely-functioning sarcastic bitch whose favourite way of showing love is through insults and slaps on the ass.
“I don’t know why you chose me, and I expect I’ll be thanking every deity out there for the rest of eternity for putting you in my life, but I know that I couldn’t have chosen a better partner if I had tried.”
She pauses, and Harrison thinks that maybe, just maybe, at least one of them will have said nice vows.
“Also there’s no way I’m gonna live in a world where I can’t bite your ass on the daily, so you better say I do or I’ll end you.”
And he spoke too soon.
Tom still reaches behind him to grab the tissues Harrison was told to bring. Maybe his best friend was dropped on the head as a child, so now everything makes him emotional.
—
Nikki keeps her eyes firmly on her son and daughter-in-law as they flit around the room greeting their guests. She and Blake have made it into a game of sorts.
Every time (Y/n) wipes her hands on her dress after shaking hands with a Suit, Tom pulls her back by the waist, or the happy couple are asked to kiss, they take a sip of the very expensive and very tasty red wine provided for them.
The sound of clinking glasses feels the air once again and Blake tilts her glass.
“Bottoms up!”
And that’s one more glass finished. How far along are they now? Five? Six? She looks around at the empty bottles. Maybe a little bit more.
“Oh, my God, I’m so glad it’s over if I had to deal with another second of that, this wedding would have turned into a remake of Saw!”
(Y/n) slumps down heavily onto the chair, toeing off her heels until she can bring her knees to her chest and lean on the backrest.
“Why did we have to have a wedding? We should’ve just eloped. It would just be us, maybe I’d fly us out to Iceland and we could get married in a hot spring, I’m sure the water would do wonders to relax us, no?”
Nikki fills up her glass and hands it to (Y/n), who immediately downs it.
“Look on the bright side, tomorrow morning, you’ll be on a flight to Syros and one step closer to a full month spent only with your husband and the inordinate amount of cats on that island.”
Nikki’s been there. It’s amazing. They should plan a family holiday there.
“I agree.”
Oh, she’s talking out loud now.
“Yes, you are. But Nikki!”
(Y/n)’s eyes brighten, and she feels her arm get grabbed and pulled towards her brand new daughter-in-law.
“You said husband. I have a husband, I’m married!”
Yes, if someone had to marry her sweet little boy, she’s glad it was someone like (Y/n).
—
“And now, please gather around to watch Mr and Mrs Holland have their first dance as a married couple.”
While they get into place, Harry shares a look with his own husband, sitting primly at the piano, staring back at him.
When (Y/n) and Tom first came to them, shily asking them to sing If I Could Fly as their wedding song, Harry burst into tears. He just loves love, and to be a part of something as monumental as a first dance-
He really should have said no cause Louis just started playing and Harry’s already having a hard time holding back tears.
But the way Tom and (Y/n) stare at each other- that’s how he stares at Louis. And it’s the look he sees reflected back in his husband’s eyes every second of the day.
Love is just such a beautiful thing.
For your eyes only I’ll show you my heartFor when you’re lonely and forget who you areI’m missing half of me when we’re apartNow you know me, for your eyes only
He feels privileged to even be in the same room as them. It’s no secret that (Y/n)’s fiercely private. She loves, deeply and wholeheartedly, but not for others to see. She loves each person in their own special way, pieces of her heart are cut, shaped, and fitted to fit her feelings for everyone around her. But her love for Tom as it’s shown today is a sight to behold.
It’s the sun after long dreary weeks. It’s the first flower bloom after months of cold, harsh weather. It’s seeing the stars out in the countryside after a life spent in the city.
It’s fragile. It’s new. It’s special. It’s lovely.
Harry loves love, but he thinks that right now, he may love their love the most.
—
Georgia takes yet another sip of the very expensive but very tasty champagne offered.
To be honest, she didn’t want to come. Weddings are boring, if not for the open bar, and knowing that she isn’t really welcomed here isn’t making her feel particularly better. I mean, she’s met (Y/n) all of once and they mostly trash-talked the Kardashians, she can’t have made an important enough impression to be an esteemed guest.
But, the Lighthavens are an important family in the film industry, earning them an invite to the most awaited event of the year, and it would look bad if someone didn’t show up to represent them.
Still, being twenty-seven and single, there are many things she’d rather do than sit by the open bar getting smothered by other couples’ happiness while she wallows in her own misery.
“Whiskey sour, please.”
He turns towards her.
“And refill the kind lady’s glass.”
Oh, goodie.
She barely spares him a glance, eyes still focused on (Y/n), flitting around the room.
“Enjoying the wedding?”
She shrugs.
“It’s entertaining.”
He puts a hand on his heart in fake offence.
“Ouch. As the Best Man, it’s my job to ensure everyone’s having the time of their lives, so tell me, what can I do to make this night more enjoyable for you?”
She turns towards him, taking in the ruffled blonde hair, white shirt sleeves folded up to his forearms, vest and tie discarded somewhere.
“Actually, your job is to stop any upcoming crisis so the groom doesn’t get blamed and inevitably murdered by his newly-aquired wife.”
She steals the whiskey from his hand and starts drinking it. He blinks dazedly but dutifully orders another.
“Your unhappiness could quickly become a crisis, though. As much as she hates to admit it, (Y/n) doesn’t like it when people are miserable, especially when she’s having so much fun.”
She sighs.
“Do you know who I am?”
Panic shoots through Harrison’s eyes. It’s fleeting, and it’s subtle, but it’s real.
“Am I supposed to?”
Interesting.
“You’re telling the truth.”
He shrugs.
“(Y/n)’s motivated me to be more honest, although I can’t quite see the benefits she’s always raved about as of yet.”
She smirks into her glass.
“You genuinely have no idea who I am.”
A single mention of him from her lips and his acting career would shoot through the roof.
“I’m sorry. Although from how happy you look, maybe I’m not?”
“What’s it gonna be?”
He’s saved by the bell.
“All the unmarried people out on the floor I wanna see which unlucky bastard will have all grandmas pinching their cheeks and cooing cause they're next.”
A collective groan was heard throughout the crowd.
“If it helps, there’s a hundred-dollar bill in the bouquet that you can keep.”
That got people moving.
Harrison takes a look at her ring finger.
“Not gonna join?”
“If you out me as single, I’ll end you, there’s no way I’m doing this.”
He shrugs.
“Suit yourself. I’ll be back as soon as I’ve broken whatever fight will undoubtedly come from this bouquet tossing.”
He stands on the sideline, ready to stop things from escalating.
The bouquet lands in his hands.
(Y/n) squeals.
“Oh, fuck yeah! Even with my back turned my aim is impeccable.”
Tom pushes him forward when Harrison’s reluctant to move and whispers something in his ear.
Georgia doesn’t break eye contact while he walks towards her and takes a lavender rose out of the bouquet.
“Here. It matches your dress.”
Alright so maybe weddings aren’t that bad.
—
It’s a testament to his patience that Tom waited until the hotel door is closed before pressing (Y/n) up against the wall and getting started on his Wedding Night Ravishing.
“Fuck, I can’t believe we actually pulled it off.”
She mumbles through their kisses and to be fair, he kind of can’t either.
“I swear to God- we got him the perfect fucking girl- if he doesn’t invite Georgia on a date- fuck, baby- I’ll kill him myself.”
He starts trailing kisses down her neck, slowly unzipping her wedding dress.
It’s pretty, and it’s special, and it has pockets, he’s not gonna rip it, thank you very much, he wants to have ‘just got married’ sex tonight.
“Georgia’s a tough one to get to, you said it yourself. He’ll have to work for it.”
She pulls his hair harshly until they’re eye to eye and he moans. His pupils are probably about as blown as hers right about now.
“You had to work for me.”
He licks his lips and her eyes trail on the movement, mouth falling open unconsciously.
“And what a good fucking decision that was.”
And if there’s one thing that never fails to get her going, it’s that.
“How loud do you think you can make me scream before the other residents complain?”
Challenge fucking accepted.
—
(Y/n) lowers her sunglasses a tad, wanting to take in her husband in all his blazing glory, no filter in between them.
Whoever invented honeymoons was a fucking saint. One month of a near-constantly naked Tom more than eager to fuck her into the nearest solid surface made for a very happy (Y/n).
Currently, she’s sunbathing on a pool chair with a mimosa while Tom is swimming laps in the pool. Or was. Now he’s getting out and the water’s trailing down every single inch of him and suddenly she’s not as thirsty for champagne and orange juice-
“Princess, are you listening?”
Her eyes flit back up to his face.
“Don’t ask me the colour of anything, this isn’t fair, you’re distracting.”
He chuckles and climbs over her, tasting the mimosas right out of her mouth.
“I’m distracting? You’re distracting! Do you know how hard it was to swim my usual laps while you’re just laying here, happy and calm and naked and mine?”
She grins smugly.
“I can feel how hard it was, yeah. I’d ask if you’re up for it, but I kind of already got that answer, so you should just hurry and get it in.”
For a few more glorious seconds, she gets lost in the kiss and in his hands moving along her body, getting so close, so close-
“No, but actually I did get out of the pool for a reason.”
In the back of her mind, she remembers Harry in that one concert saying this is called edging after stopping Kiwi for the millionth time, and the way Tom grabbed her waist and pulled her towards him, smiling in interest.
If she weren’t such a good person, she would have kicked him in the balls for that.
Unfortunately, she needs those, so.
“Haz got a date with Georgia.”
Her jaw drops open and she slaps his arm happily.
“What the fuck, are you serious? Tom! This means it worked! We got them together! We’re the best fucking matchmakers in the world!”
Tom chuckles and flips them over until she’s straddling him, running his hands from her knees to her waist, where they dig in just a little.
Great idea, if you ask her.
“Calm down, darling, it’s just one date.”
She hums.
“That’s what I said about you, and now look at where we are. We’re married and on our honeymoon.”
His eyes all but sparkle at that.
“We are. We’re married. I’m your husband, and you’re my wife, and we’re married.”
She leans down, can’t stop herself from snogging his face off when he looks so sweet and happy at the prospect of spending eternity by her side.
“And we’re gonna live happily ever after, right?”
“And we’re gonna live happily ever after, princess.”
---
please do come talk to me about this series. comment, reblog, send in an ask, literally anything, can just be a gif of someone screaming, just ACKNOWLEDGE IT SO I KNOW IT WASN'T IN VAIN
#libby writes#tynlrs#the (y/n) lively reynolds series#tom holland#louis tomlinson#harry styles#larry#marvel#blake lively#ryan reynolds#taylor swift#nikki holland#singer!reader#actress!reader#harrison osterfield#tom holland x reader#harrison osterfield x oc#lively reynolds!reader
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thank you for the tag @tackytigerfic (here) and @maesterchill (here). Emerging from my post illness hidey hole.
How many works do you have on ao3?
32, a number that both seems too large and smaller than I thought
2. what's your total ao3 word count?
254,835. Wild.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mostly HP, although once in a while I peek over at other fandoms. And I have a joint Check Please fic in the works.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
All Drarry. None really surprised me but the final one, I hadn't realized it climbed that far up the kudos. Huh.
1. Yours Truly - my romcom fic about Harry feeling left out when everyone's coupled up, telling a lie that gets out of control, and also how hot magical ecology is
2. Home Truths - my Quidditch fic about the complications of fame, love of the game, Harry finding out who his family was and letting himself fall in love
3. Special Affinity - how quickly one can justify fucking one's coworker given a bonding spell while having no idea if the feelings part is reciprocal
4. Winner Takes It All - Draco feeling caught in impossible circumstances, working too much, caregiving for a parent, and how small kindnesses can mean the world
5. A Little Time - mistaken for a couple, forced proximity, Healer school, and everyone in a small town hating you and all your friends on sight
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I love responding to comments, but it takes me a while. I read every single one, and I try to wait until I have the time and energy to respond with something thoughtful. I'm months behind at this point.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I'm a fairly happy ending sort of person. I tend to go more for straight angst for drabbles and micros. Maybe Beside Manner? They're formerly bonded and dealing very badly with the dissolution.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Oh, gosh, most of them. I'm most enamoured by the Big Damn Kiss at the end of Home Truths. I love No Distance because Harry and Draco are very much in love and not able to hide it. I am particularly fond of the end of Winner because I was able to leave Draco in a very good place that felt right for the fic.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really I think. I get the occasional rude bookmark rating. Once, a very unpleasant person who sent lots of hate for months over a fairly inconsequential aspect of a fic. And then there have been a few comments where it's clear the reader wanted me to write a different fic, which I don't really take that personally. Nice comments far outweight the negative.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Not much. Tender, expressive, evocative. Light on details mostly.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I am not a crossover person.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't think anyone has ever tried.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes. Two by the wonderful Bluebubbling which I was thrilled by.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I've always wanted to. I'm trying my hand with another fandom, but one day.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Drarry. It just hits different.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I'm one of those people who has a dozens of ideas. I think I'm unlikely to finish my Veela!Harry fic, I just don't think I have the range. I have yet to successfully write and finish a PWP. Would be thrilled to finish some of my rare pairs.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hmmm. I think dialogue, efficiency, and atmosphere.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
More complicated or mystery-oriented plots, the mid-level between an ensemble cast and an intimate chamber piece, anything with significant length, spending lots of words on one scene.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
One of my ideas about writing is that not everything has to be maximally accessible to all to be an authentic expression in a fic. If that's what fits or feels right, go for it.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
You know, I found out the answer for sure recently, and I will be keeping that information to myself. Highly embarrassing and yet formative. Let your imagination do the rest.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
Winner Takes It All. Exactly what I intended, turned out beautifully. Some of my favourite writing.
tagging @magpiefngrl @lettersbyelise @lqtraintracks @quicksilvermaid @goblinmatriarch @teledild0nix @boxboxlewis and anyone else who is interested
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫
thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
544,914. (again. woagh)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)
man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!
anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i don’t think so
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading!
i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA
16. What are your writing strengths?
characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.
ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.
that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thank you for the tag @zsparz :3
1. How many works do you have on ao3? 13 (one's art, so really, 12)
2. What's your total ao3 word count? 111,676
3. What fandoms do you write for? The MCU and The Alienist, mainly, but right now I'm also doing a Pokemon AU.
4. Top five fics by kudos: Shoot Through the Blur and Under the Ashes (I'm On Fire), then Hot Under the Collar, Russian Dwarf Hamster Roulette, and finally (Been An Awful Good Boy) Santa Zemo.
5. Do you respond to comments? I do :3 I really appreciate comments and the fact that it takes time and effort to leave them.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't really think I do angst??
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't really think I do happy endings?? Like, I guess I tend not to write stuff that feels like it even has a definitive ending.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Not in this fandom.
9. Do you write smut? Yes! Love to write smut.
10. Craziest crossover: I hold that my winterbaron/Lilo & Stitch crossover is very sensical.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, although not in this fandom. I had a fic get yoinked and turned into a Tony Stark x Reader fic, and have been plagiarized numerous other times. Just not under this pen name.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, waaay back in the day, like eight pen names ago.
14. All time favorite ship? Look, I wanna be cool and say Winterbaron or Laszky, buuuut it's Wincest. There's just something really enduring and special about Wincest and it's hard to beat.
15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? The third installment of Shoot Through the Blur is really hard and I'm in a weird place with writing right now (in that I can barely do it). But, never say never.
16. What are your writing strengths? I don't know my strengths, only my likes and dislikes about the writing process, and characterization is what brings me the most joy personally. Nailing a character's voice and mannerisms and making something unbelievable feel believable via the characterization. It's something I generally pay a lot of attention to.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot. I'm not really a plot person; it's never the primary thing that grabs my attention, even as a reader/viewer. I'm very much a character person.
18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I like it, but I have strong opinions about it too, sweatdrop.
19. First fandom you wrote in? Power Rangers, when I was a little kid. I wrote my own episode in script format.
20. Favorite fic you've written? In the WB fandom, it must surely be Russian Dwarf Hamster Roulette. It was very much a fun write. (I generally judge a fic by the writing process rather than the end product. I kinda hate my own writing. I just love to do it.) I loved writing Zemo POV. Plus for some reason people were really nice about it!!
As usual I'm where memes go to die, and I think everyone's already been tagged for this!! I'm way behind :"]
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20 questions for fic writers
Thank you for the tag, @aniron48 ❤️ This was such a nice way to wrap up this year, and to remember what I'd written!
Tagging @cicerfics @dixkens @dassandre-00qpidsarrow @boffin1710 @samanthahirr and whoever else wants to play along!
Answers under the cut!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 82! I feel like I blacked out and blinked and woke up with a horrifying number of fics!
2. What’s your total A03 word count? 385,997 😨
3. What fandoms do you write for? James Bond mostly. Also Glass Onion/Knives Out. I don't write for The Witcher anymore, but I have in the past. On my laptop is a lot of unfinished Star Trek fic - mainly Kirk/Spock - and a crack at some Arthur/Eames (from Inception).
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
being with you (is the best of all)
date, interrupted
the places you leave in the dust
a rank above
by any other name
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do try to, and I mostly succeed. I like to thank people for investing their time with my work, and I also like getting to know people in fandom. There's still 100+ comments I need to get back to, and some of them are very old. I will get to them though!!! I promise!
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Anything involving the MCD tag. There was also a short called garden that was very sad for other reasons.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Either being with you (is the best of all) or dispatches from the division.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really, though I've had a few rude comments and bookmark notes. One person let me know across three chapters that they hated my characterisation of Bond so much they were tempted to rewrite the ending! But most people are lovely. The Bond fandom is small and most of us have our heads screwed on the right way.
9. Do you write smut? Frequently and without shame. There are 29 E-rated fics in my backlog for your reading pleasure.
10. Do you write crossovers? I have a Knives Out/James Bond crossover series where Bond and Blanc are detectives competing for Q's attention.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes and I am endlessly grateful for people who are more talented with languages than I am ❤️
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Just a team poem for 007 Fest, though I have worked with beta readers.
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Kirk/Spock forever.
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I had a multiverse fic I posted a chapter of that I don't think I have the energy for anymore. I was so undecided about the ending that I lost interest in writing it.
16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm good with characters and details. My writing has been called immersive by a few people, and I do really pride myself on building atmosphere. I think I can turn a good phrase occasionally too!
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I need to get better at proofreading for typos. I'm quite lazy with plotting and planning as well. I definitely need to work on that for an original novel I'm writing!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I only do it if it's necessary, and I'm so glad AO3 now has a hover feature for immediate translation. One of my pet peeves at uni was how often scholars used random French and Latin words or phrases when they didn't need to!!!
19. First fandom you wrote for? HP, probably. Or Glee. Those fics have been purged from the internet now 😂
20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Either dispatches from the division or the WIP I'm in the process of posting now, called the age of change.
Shout out to everyone who has made it to the end! As a reward, please enjoy this picture of my cat flopped over in her cat tree ❤️
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20 questions for fic writers!
Thank you for tagging me @thotpuppy! I'm reading everybody's answers, it's so fun!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
46. Though only 14 of them in English.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
582,115 holy shit
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Teen Wolf. I've translated for Sherlock before, though.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. The Happiest of All (Sterek, Explicit, 32,5k, ER, Angst, Miscommunication, Stiles runs away from Derek thinking it's for the best. He's wrong)
2. Untouchable (Sterek, Explicit, 17,1k, ABO, Univesity!AU, Courting, Stiles is the new hot omega, bad boy!Derek is the only one allowed to get close)
3. Safe (Sterek, Not Rated, 974, ER, TW Movie Fix-it.)
4. Wait For Me (Sterek, Mature, 64,6k, Spark!Stiles, Cursed sterek, very soft and desperate, forever love)
5. Treasure (Sterek, Explicit, 71,2k, Historical AU, Courting, Heavy Angst, Derek saves Stiles and baby Eli from gold-digging suitors in the most feral and tender way possible)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! I answer each and every one, except for emojis. I also stopped responding to comments on Safe because it exploded so quickly and there was an avalanche of comments and I got anxious and I'm still overwhelmed SORRY
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I cannot decide between Wait For Me and Treasure. In both Stiles loses people, willingly or not, and it's devastating that this is something he will have to live with. But both have happy endings, don't worry.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Lmao, it's pwp Devoured (Sterek, Explicit, 5,2k, Sex God!Derek, Human Sacrifice!Stiles). I mean, Stiles is getting fucked by Derek in front of the dozens of deities, and everyone is jealous of them.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No, people have been very nice to me. Some people don't like how soft my Stiles is but it's whatever. However, I anticipate the hate from a certain character defense squad for the fic that's coming out in November. I hope they'll never find it.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yep. It's porn with feelings. And they MUST hold hands. Stiles moans and whimpers and Derek has a filthy mouth. Both are feral sluts for each other. Also monsterfucking. It's Derek Hale's fault, don't look at me, look at his tiddies
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
No.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No, and, please, don't start
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No. Though, I, myself, translated a lot of fics. It's a unique and wonderful experience. I don't think authors realize how deep into their heads we crawl, how we dissect every paragraph, every sentence, how much we immerse ourselves to convey what the author was trying to say. Some fics I banged my head over, they were so hard to translate. Others were so easy and wonderful, it was a joy to work with them. Yes, the last one was Waiting by isthatbloodonhisshirt. I fucking loved working on it so much.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, and I don't see myself doing so.
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
STEREK
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Listen. Mutual pining!Sterek, established!Cordia. In order to save the pack from the Monster of the Week, Stiles and Lydia have to work together to defeat it, and they cannot tell anybody what they're doing bc the pack will die if they do. Naturally, the cheating rumors start. Cora is furious, Derek is devastated. Stiles and Lydia see how much it hurts their loved ones, but they would rather have them heartbroken than dead. Only when Stiles kisses Derek goodbye before going to die for his pack, do they realize that something's amiss. It's so angsty and so epic and I've had this idea for over a year.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Purple prose. Conveying emotions. ANGST. I will make it my life mission to make my readers cry.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Action scenes (including smut because sex is an action scene). Sentences have to be quick, short, with lots of verbs and not a lot of time for emotions. I am not made for that! I try, though, I'm learning, HOLD ON. I also take a long time preparing for super emotional scenes, I just sit there and stare at the monitor and breathe anxiously.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Not a full dialogue, but small words like endearments HELL YES! I had an absolute blast with Treasure, having Stiles call Eli cute pet names in Polish. I feel somewhat comfortable with including Polish, bc my native language has the same/similar roots (?), so I understand when the Google Translate is spewing bullshit at me. I'd love Derek to speak more Spanish, but I know that GT is shit, so I have to stay away. Believe me, I know what it's like to read something in your native language and cringe bc of how wrong it is.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Sigh. Sherlock. I translated a fic and it ended up being an overnight hit and it's still the most popular Johnlock fic I've ever translated.
The first fic I wrote myself was for Teen Wolf, Sterek. I would probably die from cringe if I looked at it now.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Treasure MY BABY MY LOVE MY FAVORITE CHILD ugh I'm so proud of it, of Stiles, of Eli and Derek in it. It's incredibly raw. I'm also currently writing a fic that's going to come very close to being my favourite. Maybe, even surpass Treasure. But now, I can say with all my heart that Treasure is my best work. Second is The Happiest of All.
This has been insightful and fun. Not tagging anyone, feeling shy, if you want you can steal the questions (hidden below)
20 questions for fic writers!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
3. What fandoms do you write for?
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
16. What are your writing strengths?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
19. First fandom you wrote for?
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks to @daddygrandpaandthebeaver for tagging me!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
10.
2. What’s your total word count?
25,908 words
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Bob's Burgers
4. Top 5 fics by kudos
It's my five oldest fics, but not in release date order: 1. "I Will Call You Pet Names No One Knows" (aka 2.2k words about Rudy's name); 2. "Surely It's Okay If I Just Tell Pancake?" (Rudy tells his stuffed flounder about the events of "Bob Actually"); 3. "Former Guidance Counselor of the Bride (and Groom)" (Louise and Rudy's wedding told from the POV of Mr. Frond, of course); 4 (a tie!). "Dance Like Nobody's Watching" (Rudy sees Louise dancing to Boyz 4 Now song at a store, awkwardness ensues) and "Old Friends/Bookends" (Rudy and Louise rediscover Pancake when moving to their new apartment).
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! I adore getting comments. Whether its just a stream of incomprehensible happy letters or paragraphs describing favorite parts, I appreciate anyone taking the time to say something nice about my stories and I try to say something nice back to them ASAP.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
So, I don't really write angst. My real job is pretty depressing (I'm a lawyer for poor people in the midwestern US!) so when I'm writing (or reading) fic, I tend to gravitate towards the sweet, soft, and silly.
That said, I think my most recent fic, "And In the Backseats We Just Tried to Find Some Room to Breath", has a kind of melancholy ending. Although the very last line is a shippy Roudise line because I couldn't help myself, the image I really want to end with- Rudy quietly sitting by himself in the backseat of his father's car looking out the window at the night sky after an emotionally draining evening, it's not angsty but I think it's less warm and fluffy than some of my other stuff.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
That would be the wedding story, I think. Not only are Louise and Rudy totally in love with each other, just married, and having a great time but Mr. Frond realizes that he has had an even bigger impact on his students' lives in ways he hadn't really thought about, and that really means a lot to me, too. I still think the last paragraph or two of that story might be my favorite thing I've written; I just go back and reread it sometimes and feel like a baseball batter watching a home run sail into the upper deck- like I totally nailed that one!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I never have, and I really appreciate it. Everyone I've interacted with in Bob's Burgers fandom on AO3 and Tumbler has been really sweet and chill. One thing that particularly stands out to me is that first fic actually has a minor continuity error in it (I thought that Louise actually told Rudy that Chloe was flirting with him for test answers in "Bob Actually" and only discovered last month that she doesn't give that detail.) Nobody ever mentioned that to me in comments on the fic- every comment I got was just people loving the fic. Either no one noticed this or they didn't care about it enough to throw it in my face, and I appreciate that.
9. Do you write smut?
I never have, but I feel like at some point I probably will end up writing some Rudy/Louise as adults smut. Whenever I have story ideas about them when they are older the ideas inevitably end with them making out, and at some point I'll probably just decide "why stop there?"
For example, the last line of "Old Friends/Bookends" is: "'Of course…', he said, and took he took her by the hand as they eagerly headed to the bedroom." When I was writing that, just for my own amusement with no intention of keeping it in, I added: "And then they boned!" and then immediately deleted that. But, y'know, my mind goes there.
10. Do you write crossovers?
Nope. Not opposed to them, just never had an idea for one.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not to my knowledge.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
So, they were never actually published as fics, but when I was a kid in the early 90s I was really in to "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and developed a number of spinoff series of my own. One, "Starfleet Academy", my cousin and I created together.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I want to make some clever joke here, but I can't think of one. It's Louise/Rudy. 80% of my stories are about them. They are the reason I got into reading and then writing "Bob's Burgers" fanfic, they are the reason I am on tumblr. I've loved "Bob's Burgers" since it started, but the need for more content about them pulled me deeper into this fan community than I've been in anything else in a while.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?
I've tried to finish everything that I've started, but I've currently got three unfinished WIPs in Word. The one that is least likely to see the light of day, or will be really significantly reworked if it does, was a story I started this summer about teenaged Rudy being nervous about asking Louise on their first real date and talking to his dad about it. it's called "Dating Advice from Mr. 'I'd Let That Dump Me'" (which I do love as a title).
"The Amazing Rudy" has sort of made me reevaluate the way I thought about Rudy and his dad. I actually had a more positive impression of Sylvester than a lot of fans- at the risk of oversharing, it was because I thought that-even with his flaws- he seemed to be doing the divorced dad thing better than my own dad did. And, after "The Amazing Rudy", I just feel like I'd have to write more about how Rudy and Sylvester's relationship evolved over the years- and how Sylvester grew as a person and a father- to get them to the place I had them in that story. And maybe I'll want to do that at some point, but right now I don't.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Writing stories that other people invariably describe as "cute"! I'm kind of joking, but that does always happen even though I'd say really only one of my written stories was written with the express intention of being cute.
More seriously, I love (and think I'm good at) getting inside characters' heads and really describing their emotions and thought process. Rudy was the first character I wrote about, and I find it easy to get in his head because he reminds me so much of myself as a boy, but when I got compliments for writing from other characters' perspectives- especially Louise's- it made me feel like I really have a knack for that.
I also think I am pretty good at capturing the character's voices in dialogue. I really writing enjoyed "For the Boy Who has (Allergies to) Everything" because it was my first effort at writing Belcher sibling dialogue (and Sgt. Bosco!) and I was pleased with how it turned out.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Plot. I love writing about emotions and writing fun dialogue, but none of my stories have particularly involved plots. The plots are basically just a background to the feelings and/or dialogue. Half of my stories are built directly on actual episodes- I have three that are essentially episode tags, one that's basically a prologue, and one that is a missing scene focused on two background characters.
I have an outline for what would be my most plot intensive project- "Workers of the Wharf, Unite!" a story about Louise as an adult helping the Wonder Wharf employees form a union- and I've got bits of dialogue and thoughts all written out, but then there are big places that just say "stuff happens". I've yet to figure out the stuff that needs to happen. That's the hardest part for me. I hope I do figure it out eventually, because I love the idea and there's a scene I've partially drafted that would be near the end between Bob and Louise that I think would be beautiful and really encapsulates how I see Louise's character and Bob as a father.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?
I was surprised to realize I did it once! In "The Life of the Symposium (aka Party)", I have Arnold say "Domo arigato" to Kaylee. Which would be about all the Japanese I know. But I thought it made sense for Arnold's character given his love of Karate that he would pick up a little Japanese.
I took German and Spanish at different points in my life but really don't remember much beyond ordering food (German) or asking for directions (Spanish). So, if I ever put another language in a fic, it would most likely be like Tina's song in "The Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, and Her Lover"- basic phrases used for comic effect.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
"Star Trek". This started when I was a preteen and first got into TNG. I came up with several of my own Star Trek spinoffs. First, the incredibly originally titled "Star Trek: The Third Generation", then "Star Trek: Discovery" (sadly or fortunately, no resemblance to the current show of that name beyond the ship being named Discovery), "Starfleet Command" and the Academy show I mentioned with my cousin. Most of this stuff was just done for my own amusement, but I think I may have published some of it on AOL. And I think some of the "episode" titles and summaries (the main thing I wrote) are on 3.5 by 5 floppy disks back at my mom's. (I feel so old typing that sentence knowing how few of the people who will read it will be able to relate. I am Rudy's Dad making the "Party of Five" reference to the hostess who was born in 2002.)
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
I could say the wedding fic or "In the Backseats..." because they both mean a lot to me but I'm going to go with one I haven't mentioned yet "Happy Anniversary (Whenever It Is...)" It was written for a Flufftober prompt and in response to "The Amazing Rudy" and it is the one fic I really wrote with the explicit intent of being cute. It's about high school age Louise and Rudy, who are officially a couple, playfully arguing over what their anniversary date should be. it is loaded with as many callbacks as I could cram into it, and just a lot of fun dialogue. It includes two really nerdy jokes that may be my favorite jokes in any of my stories.
It is also really my love letter to that relationship. Putting aside any shippy/romance aspect, I just think they've done such an amazing job showing those two characters growing closer together in a way that just feels like the natural growth of a friendship. They have such a better understanding of each other, and are so much closer at the end of "The Amazing Rudy" then they were at the end of "Carpe Museum" and you can see that developing logically as a result of other episodes like "The Kids Rob A Train" and "House of 1,000 Bounces", and "The Hawkening", etc. Someday, I may write an essay about that...
Also, I think that story has the vibe of the framing story to one of those clip shows that TV shows used to make (I especially associate them with 80s sitcoms like "Family Ties"). Like it would be:
Louise: What about the wine train...
CUT TO clip from "The Kids Rob A Train"
And as someone who grew up on 80s/90s sitcoms, I actually kind of love that!
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20 questions for fic writers
Thank you @rocketnebulas for tagging me!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
That would be 158!
2. What’s your total word count?
Uhhhhh 1,905,572. Ahah.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Recently and actively, Stranger Things and The Lost Boys. I've also been reasonably prolific for Gravity Falls and Rise of the Guardians.
4. Top 5 fics by kudos
This actually surprised me! Duskfall (a Bella/Tanya Twilight AU) is top of this list. And then the rest are more in line with what I expected: Raising Stakes (Gravity Falls vampire!Stan AU), Return, Rewind, Rewrite (Gravity Falls Transcendence AU), Reincarnation Blues (also Gravity Falls Transcendence AU), and A Semi-Normal Life (ditto).
5. Do you respond to comments?
Most of 'em, eventually.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I think that's gotta go to this one, where everybody's dead but the main character, who thinks it's his fault. I don't write a lot of angsty non-ambiguous endings, but this one's pretty explicit that things Do Not Improve from here.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uhhhhhhh. Hm.
Actually, it might be Hive! Which is a weird thing to say about a horror story, and yet.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Thankfully I haven't! Although I did once get a tumblr ask trying to gotcha me for writing Jack Frost/Pitch Black, which was extremely funny, because 1) that ship is between two several-hundred-year-old immortals who tried very hard to kill each other for the entire movie and this person was concerned because they thought there might be an age gap between them, and 2) I had written that ship exactly once, at least five years prior to receiving the ask, as a favour for a friend.
9. Do you write smut?
Verrrrrrry occasionally.
10. Do you write crossovers?
There's a reason my profile on AO3 includes the line "I was born with the gift of crossover femslash and I intend to make it everyone's problem."
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Only, as far as I know, by the usual AO3-scraping suspects. Although someone did once rewrite a fairly unique AU of mine from a different character's perspective, using almost all the same plot points, and didn't breathe a word that it had been inspired by my fic or that my fic even existed, which, like. Man, I'm glad you wrote that thing and felt good enough about it to share it, but also a little bit what the fuck.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
A few times! It's always an honour.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Exactly once. Wouldn't do it again unless the stars aligned absolutely perfectly.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
That's a trick question and one that I will not be answering at this time.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?
I am going to finish Something Borrowed, Something Blues, so I guess that doesn't count. Uhhhh it would have been nice to finish Imbalance, but I just didn't have as much of a plan for it as I thought I had, and the more time passes the poorer taste the plan I did have seems to be in.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Personally, I think that characterisation is the big one. I can pull together a plot that makes sense and has an emotionally satisfying conclusion. I'm very happy with the way I write suspense/tension. And I've had a couple people now tell me that I do a good job of being descriptive without the description getting in the way, which I'm very proud about.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Pacing! Action scenes! The Dreaded Middle! Not overusing italics!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?
I've done it, like, twice and I had to use Google Translate because I didn't speak the language and I felt so dirty. For anything more than a word or two, I'd personally either describe the character talking without actually writing out what they're saying (if the POV character doesn't understand what they're saying) or write out/paraphrase the dialogue in English (if the POV character is the speaker/if the POV character does understand what the speaking character is saying).
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Wrote for was probably Pokemon, wayyyyyyyyy back in elementary school. Posted was the Hugh Jackman-Kate Beckinsale fever dream Van Helsing. Thankfully I think that one is lost amongst the ruins of ff.net.
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
It's still the road goes ever on. It's gonna be the road goes ever on for, like, a while.
I'm going to tag @gretchensinister, @tejoxys, @amethystunarmed, @seiya234, @marzipanandminutiae, @bixxelated, @daddygrandpaandthebeaver, @enquiringangel, @astriiformes, @scribefindegil, @mickeymagpie, and anybody else who'd like to give this a shot!
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20 questions for fic writers!
tagged by @apothecarose (thank you! I've been so absent lately, but really enjoyed this one)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
15 (feeling quite inadequate)
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
340,933 (feeling less inadequate)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Schitt’s Creek (suspect I'll be rattling around there when active membership is down to single digits)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
You can fall
Anything for Us
Bon Hiver
Open arms and wide awake
Working Out
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I still get blown away by comments on my work. I can't believe people are so kind. I try to respond to all of them, even if it's just something tiny. but owing to some personal crap I've kind of fallen off the response wagon lately. I'll get to them.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't think I have a single angsty ending. Maybe in the other fandom I used to write for there are some less happy endings, but ... fic writing has become a kind of safe, happy space. It's all about the wish fulfillment.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
It's You can fall (which privately I can appreciate is a little ironic). Partly because of all the angst they waded through to get there.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I feel like I'm tempting fate. No? Everyone is so very kind. It's part of the reason I like this fandom so much.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Did you know I started out not reading smut on SC? Hooo boy! I do write it, but it's always chock-full of feelings.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Nope.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Have I??? Okay, now I'm paranoid ... no? Why, what have you heard???
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope. If it had ever come up, I might be worried I'd be too much of a control freak/nice way of saying 'control freak'. I've only really thought about it in terms of a fic I have in my head that would require me to learn a LOT about gardening, and ... I'm quite lazy, really. Many, many of the collaborations I've read are incredible, though.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
David/Patrick
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Positive thinking! None of them! (See above answer about being the last to leave the fandom)
16. What are your writing strengths?
Ohhhh man! I think I'm good at emotions and creating a cohesive story.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Overdoing direction. I have such a clear picture in my head, I have to actively stop myself from describing every detail of it.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I mean, this would require me learning another language. But if it fits the character, I'm all for it - maybe include the translations at the end, or provide a link to google translate? I enjoy trying to figure it out on my own though.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Friends.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
This will surprise exactly zero of you. I'm in danger of overselling it. But it's You can fall. Always.
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Writers' Month 2023 Masterlist
Thank you as always to the mods of @writersmonth, one of my favourite events, to everyone who prompted me this year, and to everyone who kudos'd, commented, liked and reblogged!
1 blossom and on an island - An Outcrop of Rocks and Grass for @spiced-wine-fic - Rings of Power, Bronwyn and Arondir spot a potential settling place.
2. camping - and we will carry on - Hobbit, modern reincarnation AU, Bard takes the kids camping, in the hope that the place he found last time will help them recover from their loss.
3. festival - She's So Fine - Hobbit, modern heavy metal AU, Sigrid isn't quite sure what she's doing when she invites the rest of Thranduil's band back to their campsite, after Thranduil's dragged her da off into the darkness, especially because Thranduil's bass player is the most beautiful woman she's ever laid eyes on.
4. memories - Everything We Have Learned for @verecunda and @glorf1ndel - LotR/Hobbit, part of My Heart Is An Empty Vessel, Legolas and his father begin to talk about his mother at long last.
5. sun and poolside - Summer Sun - King Arthur (2004), one uncomfortably hot day, the people of the fortress take a trip north of the Wall.
6. surf - Ride the Waves for @antares0606 and @bae-owyn - LotR, part of A Little Piece of the Sea, Imrahil tells Legolas of a popular pastime among the young (and not-so-young) of Dol Amroth.
7. in the mountains - A Silver Ribbon and the Sea for @spiced-wine-fic - Rings of Power, Bronwyn on the journey to Pelargir.
8. fishing - One of Us - Fishermen's Friends, Morgan joins Jim on the boat one morning, and they figure out his place in the band.
9. warmth and home for the summer - Fresh Water for @spiced-wine-fic - Rings of Power, Bronwyn, Arondir and Theo investigate the island across the bay from Pelargir.
10. sandcastle and lifeguard AU - Unpredictable for @eowyn7023 - Hobbit, Sigrid meets a very nice lifeguard when Tilda gets into trouble swimming in the Long Lake.
11. sweat - Like A World Ending - Peaky Blinders, Arthur Shelby never came home from France, not in any of the ways that matter.
12. lemonade and band AU - Walk of Shame for @scary-grace - Hobbit, modern heavy metal AU, Bard hadn’t been looking forward to doing the walk of shame back to the campsite from Thranduil’s tour bus, but having company does take some of the edge off it - although given that the company is his eldest daughter, he isn’t entirely certain how to feel about it.
13. fan and cruise ship - A Fan for the Stage for @myeaglesong - Hobbit, modern heavy metal AU, Thranduil's band is booked on a metal cruise, and Bard and co are invited along.
14. bonfire - A Talisman for @redeemer46 - Hobbit, part of My Heart Is An Empty Vessel, Thranduil has never quite been able to understand why the people of Dale kept the Midsummer bonfire as part of their celebrations, after what happened to their old home.
15. blue and neighbourhood barbecue - Better Late Than Never for @antares0606 - Hobbit, part of the modern AU A Kiss In The Cold And Dark, at a street party for the coronation, Thranduil gets to know some of Bard's friends, and makes a decision.
16. energy - Ash and Dust for @piyo-13 - LotR, the twins are so tired of their endless quest for revenge, but they can't admit it to each other, and they can't stop.
17. at a wedding - Court Etiquette for @inthecrevicesofmycrispytoes - Hobbit, Thranduil is very bored at the wedding of Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins, but then he meets the new King of Dale, who has never been to one of these events before.
18. restaurant AU - Mr Underhill's Finest Seafood Specialities for CyanSoul on AO3 - LotR/Hobbit, Frodo is flustered to realise that famous food critic Thorin Oakenshield has booked a table at his Uncle Bilbo's seafood restaurant. Not nearly as flustered as his Uncle Bilbo, though, it turns out.
19. cloud, Passing Shadow - LotR, the twins take a moment to rest, after the end of the War of the Ring.
20. fireworks - A Rain of Coloured Stars for @myeaglesong - LotR, on the slopes of Mount Doom, Frodo has a brief, bright memory of home, before the Ring came into his life and changed it beyond repair.
21. hammock - Outwitted - LotR, the twins have a habit of hogging Glorfindel's hammock, but Glorfindel doesn't really mind all that much.
22. human/non-human AU - Rewilding for CyanSoul on AO3 - LotR, modern merpeople AU, Faramir, recovering from the loss of his brother and his father in the wake of Eye-Corp's failed attempt to ruin their seaside home with a giant golf course and marina, meets a strange woman swimming in the sea near his uncle's island home... (CyanSoul tells me this is the first mermaid!Éowyn fic on AO3! :D )
23. storm and in the woods - always played a part for @scary-grace and @spiced-wine-fic - Hobbit, modern reincarnation AU, Thranduil watches Bard's children exploring the ruins of his home, and marvels at how alike they are to their predecessors, how much he has missed them.
24. summer - Climbing Upwards for @spiced-wine-fic - Rings of Power, Bronwyn and Arondir, in their first full summer on the island, contemplate the future, and Arondir gives their new settlement a name.
25. relax and at a concert - floating high above for @eowyn7023 - Hobbit, modern heavy metal AU, Sigrid, at a really sensational rock show, takes a moment to drift off, thinking of how great her life is just now.
26. found - the tale as it is told for Anon (if you have an AO3 please let me know, I'd love to make this a gift to you!) - LotR, Imrahil tells Legolas how Dol Amroth was founded and named.
27. on the beach - a treaty of friendship and love for @verecunda - LotR, part of A Little Piece of the Sea, Legolas has a conversation with Imrahil's grandson Alphros, and another with Lothíriel, about Imrahil's sons' disdain for him.
28. bright and mythological AU - Restoration for CyanSoul on AO3 and Anon on here (if you have an AO3 please let me know, I'd love to make this a gift to you!) - LotR, modern merpeople AU, Faramir adjusts to having a mermaid for a - well, 'girlfriend' isn't the right word, and he's still not quite sure what is.
29. fireflies and at a cabin - Honey-Cakes and Mead for @sallysavestheday - LotR/Silmarillion, Glorfindel and Ecthelion, reunited, pass a quiet evening in Valinor.
30. happy and children - little sunshine for Anon (if you have an AO3 please let me know, I'd love to make this a gift to you!) - LotR/Hobbit, Thranduil and little Legolas encounter a deer and her fawn, and Thranduil learns that there is still happiness in his world, although his wife is gone.
31. fall and at a hotel - Another Night in Room 305 - Hobbit, modern AU, Bard has to go home at the end of his conference, but hopefully he and Thranduil will be able to stay in touch…
31 fics for 31 days, 38,483 words (phew!) - back next year!
Next from me: Innumerable Stars 2023, and a fic whose premise came to me in a dream. :D
#my writing#writersmonth2023#lotr#lord of the rings fanfiction#the hobbit fanfiction#bard#thranduil#sigrid#tauriel#legolas#imrahil#fisherman's friends#king arthur (2004)#gawain#galahad#peaky blinders#arthur shelby#barduil#bard/thranduil#sigrid/tauriel#faramir/éowyn#faramir#éowyn#legolas/imrahil#bronwyn/arondir#arondir#bronwyn#rings of power fanfiction#frodo#sam
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