#part of it is also probably the gender envy aspect of like
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Which Targaryen do you think you would be able to make Freud rise from his grave faster?
....Daemon? Daemon. He checks every single box.
He has massive mommy issues because his mom died when he was a baby. Because she specifically died in childbirth, it rings a lot of Freudian bells related to things like womb envy. The lack of maternal presence is what causes his relationships with all subsequent family members to be so clingy. He also has daddy issues, because Baelon was heavily affected by the losses of his favorite sister and brother and likely never paid much attention to him as a second son.
The mommy and daddy issues combine into him projecting his maternal and paternal needs for affection/approval/etc. onto his only remaining relative, his older brother Viserys. This is also because his parents were both siblings, so they blended the fraternal with the romantic and sexual, AND his grandparents did the same because they were also siblings. All of the romantic relationships modeled before him were between siblings.
So Daemon loves Viserys in every possible way (fraternal, paternal, maternal, and romantic) and desires the same from Viserys in return. Because it's the only way he knows to love. This is also why Daemon has def got some gender envy, because if he'd been born a girl, then Viserys would have married and loved him (in his mind) and they could have had babies together (he's super into Valyrian bloodline stuff).
Here's where Daemon's obsession with Rhaenyra comes into play. He views her as a kindred spirit, sort of who he thinks he could have been if he'd been born a girl, especially because she gets Viserys's favor the way he thinks he would have if he'd been a girl. He also sees her as an extension of Viserys; if he can't have Viserys, then at least he can have Rhaenyra. He loves her because she gives him the affection he wanted from Viserys, because he can't be in a relationship with Viserys and she's the next best thing (Ryan Condal has confirmed this verbatim btw in case you think I'm reaching).
This is part of why he's SO happy to have babies with Rhaenyra. Baby Aegon and Viserys represent the children he wishes he could have had with Viserys. They carry Viserys's blood, through Rhaenyra, and Daemon's blood, through himself. They represent the union (yes, romantic and sexual) that Daemon subconsciously wishes he could have had with Viserys.
(Also, if you're asking within the Stormbreak universe, Aemond looks fairly similar to how Daemon's mom, Alyssa, is described. Plus he's also like an extension of Viserys, maybe even more so because he's male.)
Like, this mans' psychosexual fuckery has LAYERS. The incest aspect of him and Rhaenyra is only the tip of the iceberg because of how much it ties into his fucked up feelings towards Viserys. And it would honestly have most of these layers even if his parents had survived, because they were still siblings, as were his grandparents.
I think a lot of this Viserys stuff would be WAY more clear if they hadn't aged Viserys up in the show, btw. In the book, Viserys is only four years older than Daemon, but in the show he seems like a grandpa by the time he dies. If Viserys was played by someone who was younger and hot the way Matt Smith is, I guarantee they would be one of THE most popular ships in the fandom, and this type of analysis would be super commonplace.
Anyways yes if Daemon existed in real life he would single-handedly resurrect Freud and also probably render him immortal by virtue of being the single most fucked up incesty individual on the planet.
#ask#asks#answered#daemon targaryen#daemon#viserys targaryen#viserys i targaryen#viserys#viserys i#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra
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HI I HAVE A CRINGEFAIL REQUEST FOR A CONCEPT OF MY CRINGEFAIL MAN CRONOS
i feel like he’d be totally delusional, that man has not had a single clever thought in his LIFE
Orderly Anon [💉]
Oh you have no idea... I'd love to try out a proper concept for him! Hope this was long enough?
Yandere! Cronus Ampora Concept
Pairing: Matesprit ❤️
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overly flirtatious behavior, Delusional behavior, Stalking, Manipulation, Brief threats of self harm mention (Cronus being Cronus), Kidnapping, Isolation, Clingy, Forced relationship.
Cronus has been rejected so many times by others I'm not surprised he'd lose it after awhile.
By the time Cronus meets you he could care less if you're a human or a troll.
He just wants someone in a quadrant to love him already.
However, while most trolls are used to a fellow troll partner, Cronus may feel better with a human darling.
That's due to the whole seeing himself as a human aspect he has.
Cronus is a very demanding yandere.
He's needy and does just about anything and everything to get the attention of you.
Cronus would even resort to emotional manipulation to either win you over or make you stay with him. (Threats of self-harm or anything like that-)
Cronus is desperate and demanding.
He'd stalk you and hound you just to have your attention.
He's a hopeless flirt, constantly complimenting and flirting with you to win you over.
He lays the flattery on thick.
He even tries to compose songs for you in hopes of impressing you.
He can be rude and overall a bad person yet tries to play it cool and be caring with you.
He is such a suck up if it means you'll love him.
He's more likely to go for Matespritship yet will honestly take anything.
I imagine Cronus is used to feeling envious so he primarily gets really childish when jealous.
Honestly if you ever did give him a chance he'd probably be easy to control.
Just dangle the fact you'll leave him and he behaves.
Honestly, since he messes with your emotions, do it back and he's humbled.
While he's easy to control in a mutual relationship, I can't say the same if you drive him over the edge.
For the most part Cronus will follow you around like a pathetic puppy.
He's... sad to look at sometimes.
He's used to rejections and envy so he's a bit more patient than you think.
Although the moment that patience falters he can be a bit volatile.
He'll throw a bit of a fit, complaining and yelling about how hard he has it.
He so bad just wants you to love him.
At this point he feels he actually needs it.
He'd be a yandere to eventually just kidnap you if he feels he could lose his chance.
In his eyes you are his last chance of being loved.
No one else likes him so he is really desperate to have you.
If Cronus snapped he would isolate you in a room away from anyone else.
After all, if he isn't going to have you willingly, then he might as well take what he wants!
He's waited long enough, hasn't he?
Cronus does not seem like a violent yandere.
He's dramatic and emotional, he's more likely just to be an annoyance if he hates someone around you.
Can't see him killing anyone.
Be it you joined him in a quadrant willingly or not, Cronus is physically affectionate.
I like the HC people have that violet and/or fuchsia bloods feel cold to the touch due to being aquatic.
Cronus certainly craves your warmth and feels cold when he gives physical affection.
He has a poor sense of personal space so he is very clingy.
Cronus may slightly be a worship yandere, as I said before he'll do anything to appeal to you.
He is incredibly delusional.
Even if he has you locked away where only he can see you, he still thinks there's a chance you'll love him willingly.
He feels somehow you hold romantic feelings for him and is going to fish them out somehow.
He thinks that he's the only one for you.
He isn't really a giving yandere.
For the most part he takes.
He takes affection, attention, warmth, etc....
However he also intends to try to make you happy as his partner to keep you.
Cronus feels like he'd be an entitled yandere due to his demanding traits.
He feels you're his and is willing to take what he feels is his.
He may say blood color doesn't matter but he's still just as entitled as any violet blood.
Overall the primary traits of Cronus is the fact he's demanding, dramatic, clingy, flirtatious, lacks boundaries, delusional, and is very desperate.
He can possibly be controlled if you agree to being his partner.
He will take time to snap, but when he does, he comes in full force.
Cronus is willing to play nice with his darling if they are willing to go along with it.
The moment he realizes he isn't getting anywhere with you, however...
Well... then he's done playing nice, isn't he? It's about time he gets what he wants.
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Two mini reviews, partly brought to you by tumblr autosaving -
Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas. I wasn't sure what to expect; I really liked The Sunbearer Trials (Ive not yet read the sequel), and DNF'd Lost In The Never Woods because it was the wrong type and intensity of dark and spooky for me at the time. Cemetery Boys is a freaking delight. Maybe my least favourite part was the villain reveal, it made sense but either it wasnt foreshadowed enough or I just wanted better for that character? idk.
But this isnt primarily a plot book, its a romance, and its a story about community and acceptance, and figuring out how you fit into the world when you're not the shape you're expected to be. And it did really well with both those aspects. I also appreciate that with so many stories, real and fictional, about people who have to leave their communities to find themselves, I appreciate a story of someone who never once thinks maybe I need to leave, and instead forges on to create space for himself in his community and his heritage. That's not everyone's story and thats totally fine. Our experiences are diverse and we deserve diverse stories. Its all good.
As for the romance, its really believable. Its quite an opposites-attract situation, from Julian's aggressive queerness and non-issue with Yadriel's transness making his albeit and unexpected presence a breath of fresh air to Yadriel, to their growing understanding of each other's lives and admiration for the strength of each others convictions. (When Julian is upset about his friends and Yadriel nevertheless pauses to set that boundary about ghost-safety, that was hot.).
And the ghost aspect! (this is not a mini review anymore lol). I was not really sure how that was going to go, and then cheering for them, and then wondering what the heck they were gonna do about ongoing ghost-itude and the finiteness of that situation, and actually I really liked how it went. The romance and how they push each other and grow to understand each other is fun, romantic, sexy, heartfelt. Remarkably sexy given that one of them is a ghost who cant be touched. (Spoilers for a sec - the scene on the car where Yadriel reaches for Julian's jacket to pull him closer and there's nothing there to grab? Oh that feels like grief.)
The book is quite a bit about grief. Missing parents, missing support networks, missing opportunities to be yourself and be accepted. Its about a guy who can communicate with ghosts and its set around Dia de Meurtos, there's grief themes.
I also really love Maritza, showing off another aspect of (gender) non-conformity, that its not only trans people who have trouble fitting fairly strict defined roles. (Julian's friends do so similarly).
Almost all the Spanish I picked up from context, but how Julian refers to Yadriel at the end I knew I had to look up that word specifically and oh my heart.
Overall really enjoyed. probably 9/10
second, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off.
I havent read the books/comics, I have seen the movie.
This show....for at least the first half I had no idea what the rules of the universe were or what exactly was going on or what themes exactly were being explored. I was definitely entertained though. The last few episodes manage to make sense of the first few and deliver on those themes in ways I quite liked. I liked that Ramona is the "manic pixie dream girl" and then almost immediately gets upstaged for that role by Envy Addams.
I normally am annoyed at stories in which some boring guy "gets" the manic pixie dream girl and certainly doesn't appreciate her - you know the kind who goes on reddit and complains that she wont stop talking about slugs or decorates their whole house in anime? And I know scott pilgrim is a comment on that trope. I like how its about scott but its not really about scott. Largely its about Ramona and her friends (and her exes). And the others recognise that scott isnt so great, or so smart, and also that if Ramona likes him thats cool. He can be a "lovable idiot" and shes not automatically making a mistake with him. If they're happy they're happy. (and of course the ways that *could* go wrong, but arent destined to).
Plus the music is fun, the visuals are bright and pretty. It might lean overstimulating for some people, I had to stop and think about my spoon levels between episodes.
Thats what I got for today. Two very different fun stories I recommend like 8-9/10, not perfect but a damn good ride.
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Give us the headcanons plsssss
Ask and you shall receive! I wasn't actually expecting anyone to be interested in this so I'm hyped!!
Transfem! Danse Headcanons
I personally think that queerness in general is very normalized in the wasteland
Like, it's 2277. The Brotherhood doesn't give a shit what your gender is. Scribe Haylen would probably do your top surgery on the ground in the police station if you asked politely
What I'm trying to say is if Danse's egg cracks while he's in the Brotherhood "Not wanting to transition to prevent transphobia/sexism/general issues in the workplace" wouldn't be a reason to stay in the closet
It's more of the fact that Danse has created this little niche for himself, that he has so little identity outside of the Brotherhood that he feels the need to hold onto every scrap he has, even if that scrap is, well, "male".
My original idea for the drawing I made was Danse losing a bet/game/etc during his more ~wild~ Knight days and Cutler (plus some other knights) made him wear a skirt/dress/etc as "punishment"
And Danse is embarrassed and whatever, he's being laughed at, and then he goes back to his quarters to change and for the first time actually gets a glance at himself in the mirror and woah
It's more than a bit awkward - the clothes are ratted and don't fit properly, he's probably wearing his flight suit underneath, but there's a flutter in his chest that's more than just the lingering embarrassment of the lost bet
Egg successfully cracked. Now to just push down and hide those feelings about as much as he hid that dress in the back of his closet
I also wouldn't be surprised if he went through an "aw fuck I have a crossdressing kink" phase before he truly realizes he's trans
Partially because A. He's a bit repressed, both sexually and in general, and probably connects dresses and bras and general prettiness to "sexuality" rather than "womanhood", and B. It's common for your sex drive to increase once you start feeling gender euphoria
And he's completely oblivious about it all, too. He talks to trans people and watches his teammates transition and he goes "hmm good for them. I can't ever imagine what that'd be like!" And then prompty locks himself in his room, puts on a dress he "borrowed" from the lost and found, jacks off, and cries for 45 minutes.
It probably doesn't click for him until someone looks him in the eyes and says "hey man, you know you can just... be a girl, right? Like, 24/7 for the rest of your life?" And Danse is like oh my fucking god. Holy shit.
And let's be honest, with how Danse doesn't open up very much, that person would probably be Sole, and it'd probably be post-bb
Dealing with a gender identity crisis ON TOP of a synth identity crisis might be a bit much for him though so... let him take it slow
I would love to see Danse mess with his pronouns a bit - maybe she/they or she/he?
I can imagine him still having a strong attachment to his manhood, due to it being one of the only aspects of himself that really exists and isn't either ripped away from him (like the Brotherhood and Cutler) or a fake memory
So he'll go for demigender or bigender or SOMETHING not binary trans that includes both his current womanhood and his past manhood that he still connects to
The TRANS part of "transfem" is super important to him
Totally not me projecting with my own experiences as transmasc
ALSO I like to imagine he gets gender envy from the WEIRDEST things
Like Sole sneaks this shirt into his laundry:
And he is. Entranced.
Stares at himself in the mirror for the next like ten minutes straight
Haylen knocks on the door like "Hey Danse? buddy? You good in there...?"
And Danse is softly weeping like "I want them to be real... 🥺"
OKAY I'M DONE FOR NOW. I hope you enjoyed transfem Danse rambles. If you read this far congrats here's some pride edits for your commitment:
#the brainrot is real#and so is transfem danse#fallout 4#lgbtq headcanons#headcanons#not maintagging danse for this. idk maybe if people like it i will. jurys still out on whether im hashtag cringe or not#trans mtf
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go forth friend. ramble about your favorites of the SV cast (w warnings where absolutely necessary ofc!!)
i wanna hear ur opinions of em !!!!
OUGH okay i will. put all of that under the cut bc i'm definitely going to talk about big spoilers AND IT'S GONNA BE LENGTHY BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. SV may be a mess in some aspects but the story is the best it's been in many gens, if not the best story in any Pokémon game
i gotta talk about the two elephants in the room first; RIKA AND ARVEN.
For Rika; She's giving me gender envy bc like. god i wish that were me. But also I want to marry her because oh my god I love her and her design so much GAMEFREAK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME. Why do they always keep getting away with this shit EVERY GOD DAMN GEN that there's a character I end up being down bad for LOL... She's so chill!! But she's also so nice!!! And I'm ough. I really hope any future DLC will give her more screentime or at LEAST let me rematch her because why the fuck can i not fight the E4 again!!! sir!!! lemme see her!!!!!!!!!
Arven.............. he is my son now. That whole last stretch of the story in area zero really REALLY solidified him as my favourite of the main cast because man he's been through a lot and this guy can't catch a fucking break!!! Had to go years without seeing his parents only to find out that the one parent he remembers and saw only very occasionally as a kid died years prior to the game's events protecting the mirai/koraidon you've been traveling with all this time.
And the whole thing about Mabosstiff!!! The titan questline had me tearing up on several occasions. im AUGh.... I'm so SO weak for characters like this who appear a bit standoffish at first but then open up to the player and they're just beans that have gone through a lot and are trying to help. And his own resolution to become a chef with the knowledge he now holds over the herba mystica to help others felt like the most logical course of action for him to take so i'm glad he found what he wants to strive for next!! anyways sorry not sorry if i end up drawing him a lot LMAO he lives in my brain rent free. son boy allowed
Then there's Nemona!!! She's so fucking head empty no thoughts and I love her. And if there's something in that head of hers it's just a brick with the only thought being violence and battle.
And you know what? good for her! good for her. She's really funny and probably one of the most fun rivals we've had in recent history for pokemon. I like that she's not just super talented either, she literally explains to the trainer when you talk to her in postgame that she had to work hard to even get to this point. She really feels like a mirror to the player but she just took her journey of becoming a champion a year or two earlier than the player did. But also wow same lady ur just like me fr fr
Penny!! she's just a bean that cares for her friends!!! And the team Star story stuff really felt nicely done. Trying to help her friends that were painted as bullies because of a misunderstanding and mismanagement at the school while the team Star members aren't bad people at all. I also absolutely love her sass when traveling with her in Area Zero (and subsequently the dynamic between Penny, Nemona and Arven as a whole, they're best friends now your honor)
AND ALSO CAN I TALK ABOUT HER BATTLE THEME FOR A SECOND BECAUSE ?????????????????????
THEY PUT HARDCORE/HARDSTYLE IN MY POKEMON GAME
I genuinely was not expecting that but hearing the hardbass i was like wtf holy shit they went OFF with this track!!! The track is an absolute banger too but definitely felt unexpected for a character like Penny. Good for her though!! She's got one of the best themes in the game and im jamming
And then Turo! I played Violet but I'm aware that the same thing happens with Sada in Scarlet so it's easy to just replace names. Man... I could talk about this part of the story all fucking day. The professor is probably one of the most interesting "villains" in Pokémon as a whole and I'm SO GLAD that the series finally went down this route, because they absolutely nailed the story telling with this. Area Zero blew me out of the fucking water and was so unexpected!!! This whole segment has "REJUVENATION" written all over it!!! I was literally WAITING for Jan to get to this segment after completing the game, only for him to say the same exact shit LOL. I was not expecting this from a main series Pokémon game at ALL and frankly I'm so glad it did because this whole story segment with made Violet easily one of my favourite pokemon games in the series.
AI Turo stimulating the player from the background to find the herba mystica with arven and them becoming stronger but not really wanting to talk to Arven because-- just like his original counterpart-- he's too focused on the goal of the mission to care for the son of his original counterpart (though him being an AI also might hinder processing emotional attachment even MORE than the original Turo already had problems with).
The reason why Turo hasn't visited Arven in years being that the original is dead and AI Turo literally cannot leave the crater due to him needing the power of the Tera crystals to stay functional.
AI Turo, despite being the same in almost every possible way, realizing and coming to agree that there's no logic in the original Turo's decision to want to introduce future Pokémon into the ecosystem KNOWING that it'd destroy the old one, making him a better person than the original was-- and painting the original Turo as the villain in this situation due to that his obsession with the future as written in the Violet book drove him to ignore how wrong he was for what he was trying to do, even after death.
AI Turo knowing that he himself is part of the security system and needs to be fought in order to put a stop to the time machine, hence why he stimulated the player to keep training and taking care of Miraidon.
AI Turo realizing that he needed to go in order to put a total stop to the time machine because his very existence is keeping it active. He says "I want to see the future" and leaves the present day in order to stop the time machine, but there's some deeper implications here; in practice this is AI Turo taking a massive risk by sacrificing himself to save Paldea because on the chance he ends up outside of the crater, he'll cease functioning and will practically die.
And you know? The revelation that he's an AI powered robot actually makes total sense if you paid attention to his animations and speech mannerisms; he's the only character that doesn't have a breathing animation (it's not even there in the first video transmission you see of him! and it's the same for Sada in Scarlet) and is constantly identifying the player & friends through student ID's and biometrics rather than acknowledging them as actual people.
BUT ALSO THAT BATTLE WAS SO FUCKING COOL!! Genuinely challenging too since you had to figure out his mons' typings on the fly, AND HE'S GOT A BANGER BATTLE THEME. Toby Fox you've done it again you madman
honorable mention goes to Clavell and Grusha, the former because Clavell is fucking funny as hell and I'm so glad he ended up being more involved in the story than I expected. Sir you're a little behind with the times AND YOU ASKED ME WHAT CHEUGY MEANS WHICH KILLED ME but you're all the funnier for it. thank you.
Grusha gets the mention because he caught me off guard by having the highest leveled gym team out of any of the gym leaders with having mons at level 47 while I strolled up with my mid-30's team and got my ass blasted. thank you sir. i will now never make the mistake of thinking you're a lower tier gym leader just because TPC advertised you early. good god
All that being said, I could go on about every other character but these really were the ones that stuck out the most in my mind. i have so many thoughts about this game and i swear the brainrot's going to be around for a LONG ASS TIME
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Asking you here because I wanted it to be seen and I think it’s a good question—Our characters in some shape or form, while they may not be us in full, often have a part of us in them, whether intentionally or unintentionally. What part of you is in Yuri? When we see Yuri, what facet of you are we looking at?
Ahhh such a good question my friend! (I love getting questions about Yuri by the way, anyone feel free)
Yuri is a lot of my gender envy and eurphoria packed into one little blorbo. He is my dream of getting top surgery one day, looking more masculine but also androgynous, and he has the confidence to talk to people and be outgoing that I wish I did.
But -- more aspects of Yuri in myself? Definitely his humor, his silliness, and his empathy. He also has my ADHD and is probably on the spectrum (like I am). We're both Geminis as well, and love playing small little pranks on people.
We also both have mommy and daddy issues (go figure :P)
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Kitty's Daily Pride — Day 8
prompt ; (gender) envy
pairings ; Ethan Green x Bestfriend!Reader
summary ; It's been more than a day since you've last heard from your best friend Ethan, or from anyone for that matter. Something's not right.
+ reader is gender neutral & no mentions of y/n
warnings ; none i think, reader's freaking out, its just kinda spooky but no violence or anything like that, although the death of many characters is implied/speculated
genre ; angst
word count ; 902
A/N ; are people noticing how obscurely my fics end up relating to the original prompt bc i am nsndfsjk, its okay though because im proud of this ! :D also im trying to include more queer aspects to the stories bc this is for pride after all, sometimes tho i just get an idea i like and run w it lmao !!
also i plan on writing a part 2/bonus little thing either today or tomorrow which i'll link here once i post it !!
do not steal, repost, or redistribute my work in any way.
The last time you’d heard from Ethan was one day, 2 hours, and 38 minutes ago. The longest you and Ethan had been apart or not messaged each other up until now was like 8 hours, at the very most a day. To say that you were worried would be an understatement.
It was just past 7 at night. The amount of times you'd tried to call Ethan's phone was astronomical, but every time you were met with an automated message, not even his voicemail message that you'd grown used to, which somehow made you even more worried.
It was 8:06 now. Not being able to reach Ethan (although you did still try every half an hour or so, just in case), you tried calling anyone else you could think of. The obvious choice was to call his girlfriend Lex, maybe the two of them finally got on their way to California and Ethan had just forgotten his phone, not a very likely occurrence but you were clinging to the theory like it was your lifeline. So you called her, quite a few times, maybe too many, but she never answered. If you weren't worried before, now you definitely were.
But it'll be okay, you hadn't even called his parents yet, so he was probably just with them. Maybe he was grounded and that's why he wasn't answering, right?
It was 8:41 now, and you called his parents, his dad first. You were gripping the phone so hard that your hands started to shake, the ringing of the phone echoing through your head as you quietly pleaded for Ethan's dad to pick up.
No answer. At this point the only thing keeping you sane, the only reason you hadn't completely lost it, was unlikely reasoning. You'd pulled out a scrap piece of paper with a list of names, and why they wouldn't have picked up, it gave you a feeling that was something like hope. So far your list read: Ethan - grounded, Lex - with hannah or maybe phone bill expired (?), Ethan's dad - at work ??
They were reasonable explanations, all things that on any other day you wouldn't so much as bat an eye at. All things that you wouldn't question were there not a pit of suspicion swirling through your stomach and anxiety aching your every bone. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
But if something was wrong, you had zero fucking clue on how to handle it. So what did you do? You continued to call people in the hope of reaching Ethan. This provided the only string that kept you tied to reality, holding onto the hope that the next person you called would explain everything and all would be back to normal.
9:01. You called Ethan's mother, a woman who you'd always relied on to pick up calls straight away. No answer.
9:13. You called Frank fucking Pricely, a person you'd met maybe twice, once when applying for a job at Toy Zone, and for the second time (which really didn't count), but who you'd seen briefly when picking Lex up from her job. And of course the asshole didn't answer your call.
You were running out of what little hope you had left, when you remembered perhaps the one other person Lex (and by extension Ethan) associated with. Your old shop teacher, Mr Houston.
9:34. You rang his number, listening to the dial, waiting for the inevitable 'the person you are trying to reach is currently unavailable' message. Once, twice, your phone rang, until...
It stopped ringing, and you were staring right at a screen where the call timer started counting.
You froze. You didn't want to of course, your whole being was begging you to just scream out all your questions, but your throat was blocked and your hands shook so much that your phone dropped right out of your hands. falling, falling until it hit the ground.
You heard a crack but couldn't bring yourself to look down.
"Hey there."
Your eyes widened.
A laugh crackled through your now half-broken phone speaker, "Don't be afraid."
Okay fuck that now you were definitely afraid.
"Who," your voice wavered, revealing just how terrified you were, whoever this was, they sounded eerily familiar, "Who are you."
"Mmmm good question..."
A knock on your bedroom door. Your body flooded with terror.
The door flew open, crashing into the wall, right of it's hinges, revealing a shadowed figure.
The figure was the same height as Ethan, the figure's hair looked just like how you remembered Ethan's to be, the figure stood like Ethan would, with a carefree appearance, hands in it's pockets as it grins at you. And that's what breaks the illusion, that sickening grin. It's the kind that screams ill intent, the kind that makes your blood boil and stomach churn.
That is not Ethan Green.
And now you know, Ethan's not coming back, you can feel it, the truth floats through the air, palpable and headache-inducing. No matter how many people you call desperately, no how matter how many dial tones ring through your phone, no matter hard you wish for this to all be some sort of fever dream.
The feeling you were trying so hard to hide under layers of conspiracy and empty hope is now flung in front of your eyes unwaveringly, Ethan's gone, and he's not coming back.
reblogs are appreciated so much !!
#ethan green x reader#ethan green x you#ethan green x y/n#ethan green angst#ethan green imagine#ethan green fanfiction#ethan green fanfic#hatchetfield x reader#hatchetfield fanfiction#hatchetfield universe#ethan green#black friday x reader#black friday fanfiction#black friday musical#starkid x reader#starkid fanfiction#🌈 — kitty's pride writings#i'll be a leading lady if i get my shot — my writing
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@simurghed said (I tried to reblog but something's not working)
"Please oh please gush at me randomly about
Wormpowers!"
Okay! Hope you didn't mean
concisely!
Heck, this could be a good tournament of sorts;
comparing not the folk who HAD the powers but how great the powers
themselves are.
"Please oh please gush at me randomly about Wormpowers!"
Okay! Hope you didn't mean concisely!
Heck, this could be a good tournament of sorts; comparing not the folk who HAD the powers but how great the powers themselves are.
You'd have to specify whether the tournament was about 1: Cool. 2: Desirable. 3: Scary. 4: Would win in a fight (boring)
A: Grey Boy is depressingly(?) close to a childhood OC of mine, though far more OP since I didn't have that "invincible and also eternally young and clean" aspect to it.
B: Circus is a great magical girl that only needs a mascot and I'd love to know what they're like when in civilian form.
C: Mouse Protector is a lot of enthusiastic cringe about much of my childhood and the childhoods of some of my contemporaries, and also Droopy Dog--a cartoon character I hate.
D: Night. I love the synergy between Night and Fog/Purity, and just the way Night fights in general.
E: There's a member of maybe the fallen--can't remember who or whether it came up in PRT Quest or in Ward--that when they speak people listen. That's it; the words compel attention above and beyond all else. I feel like this would be a nightmare power for me to have and would both "solve" my problems and also do so in the worst possible way and so it's probably the one I'd get.
F: I think about Coil a lot. Remember that crappy-but-fun Nicholas Cage movie "Next"? It's kind of Coil.
G: I should bring up Taylor but…do you like the color of the sky? Which Taylor? Her powerset evolves and grows so much. At the start? It takes her seven or more arcs to realize she can disguise herself with bugs, and she STILL isn't using them to track where the bullies are (or who is around her) on a 24/7 basis and this is silly of her. Side note: If I ever write a Taylor/Sophia it'll be called "Nosee'um" probably. Not sure I'd do that, but I know how it starts. (And ends.) Anyway, it's really the administration and surveyal part of her power I particularly envy. I can't chase two rabbits at once and sometimes not even one, but she could herd billions.
H: (heh) Grue is actually amazing and especially after his second trigger. There's a fanfic out there where he goes solo and grimdark and he captures evil capes and saps their power, slowly making himself a very strong grab-bag cape. He had Viktor chained up in his basement to facilitate this. Speaking of H.
I: Screamer is amazing. Imitating voices perfectly and making them seem to come from anywhere? A whole nonviolent origin story just for her would be fun.
J: Accord. I want more Cenotaph, and it's half because I want more Accord.
K: Edict. Edict has a mystery power where if you don't do what she says you get a minor temporary curse? Someone with a weak unremarkable power having to make it work and maybe figuring out how to make it super good actually? Sounds familiar in a good way. I want more.
L: Mama Mathers is a nightmare villain; one of those things that make you wonder how they could ever lose even more than Coil does.
M: Roulette's power is great for something I might give someone in a TTRPG. Useful, game-directing, but not gamebreaking. …super frustrating, though.
N: Alexandria's memory, tho…
O: Weld. Weld's powers, with someone else at the helm? Could be so gender. SO gender.
P: Golem. But only in a lewd way. Or home decoration. Or both at the same time.
Q: Sanguine could apparently look great in red, dish out damage to Behemoth, and just walk around and cure people of bloodborne illnesses, sort of like Panacea could do, if she'd just cut loose a bit (there's no reason she couldn't make a steady stream of non-self-replicating cancerphage/virii emitters with finite lifespans. She could walk into a hospital, focus for a bit, then relax and read a book while her creations did all the work.
R: Myrrdin because it really feels like he had to study and scheme to build his "spells" and maybe in a way indistinguishable from
S: Big Picture can stop and think about someone as long as they want.
T: Semiramis. With that power someone could keep a car, house, or a rare book in good condition. Not to mention people.
U: Engel? I mean, supernaturally pretty and compelling?
V: Flor is hilarious.
W: Horizon's power includes Xray vision? And the rest is just some punchy-boom? That's the kind of weak powerset I'd love to see get explored.
X: Blindside (Even more fun than Nice Guy!)
Y: I love Regent. Hijack is fun too, but Regent's power was great and he used it so effectively!
Z: Tattletale, of course.
But my favorite is like I said at the top before I got started.
#Huh I don't see it now what happened your brother will be worried!#hhh.txt#thebirdcage#I had to remove most of the hotlinks to the wiki to get this to post
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Cayden let's gooo have a bunch of numbers: 1, 3, 6, 7, 29, 35
And for you about Cayden: D, F, G, H
Ayyy : D
I'm gonna write the questions from memory here because mobile is clunky with copying text.
For anyone interested, basic character info:
Cayden is a character I roleplay in a Pathfinder 1e game. He's a gnome, a sorcerer of the unicorn bloodline, currently level 8. I reblog art with him here, it should be in my art or Cayden or pathfinder tags on this blog.
Questions about him:
1. How long can he stay still with nothing to do?
Probably about 5 minutes, even locked in an empty cell he'll look for ways to entertain himself. He can make himself sit still and wait for something when it's needed, but there has to be some kind of reward at the end keeping him excited (sitting through a boring lecture while infiltrating a cult, staying hidden waiting for an ambush, generally being patient when patience is needed to get something that he wants).
3. How does he put himself to sleep?
Depends if adventuring or not, because he ideally likes to put himself to sleep with someone else sharing his bed after a good time and that's probably how his evenings look whenever possible. When not possible, he falls asleep fast, sorcerers need their beauty sleep. Before falling asleep he mostly thinks about whatever topic is the most relevant at the moment, or about friends and family, stuff like that.
6. Does he see laws as flexible or immovable?
Definitely flexible. He understands why they exist and agrees they are needed, some of them at least, but treats them mostly as guidelines and believes that there shouldn't be consequences when the reason to break them is good enough.
7. Is he nostalgic? How is the nostalgia triggered? Is it a positive feeling?
He's very nostalgic (such a self insert trait lol) and gains satisfaction from feeling nostalgia. He collects experiences in a way and looks back at them emotionally as achievements in a way. Maybe nostalgia is not a good word, I use it interchangeably with "sentiment" and I probably shouldn't. Anyway true nostalgia is triggered for him by familiar food, sheep cheese for example and mountainous landscapes and air. It's comforting for him but he doesn't want to go back to the past, he lives mostly in the moment.
29. Does he live up to his standards?
Uhhh that's a hard one... But I think mostly yeah? He does what he can and he knows that.
35. How does he react to someone coming to him excited about something?
He easily gets excited and is supportive as a character but in roleplay it's been hard sometimes. On one hand he's a character that loves new things and experiences and on the other when a friend decided to spend all of his gold on magic chocolates with random effects (not always positive on top of that) as preparation for our expedition to the island near which Cayden almost died in the past... it was hard to be supportive in that case, even though stuff like this would normally be right up his alley.
Questions for me:
D: Did his physical appearance stay the same?
For the most part, yeah. His appearance got more streamlined in drawings over time, but I've always had pretty much the same picture in my mind. I adjusted some minor details at the very beginning that just didn't work well and he got much slimmer but that's mostly due to me figuring out gnome anatomy.
F: What do I feel when thinking about him?
I feel some kind of longing. I want to have what he has, be a magic guy travelling where he wants, living life to the fullest, enjoying the social aspect of it as well as various challenges. There's some (a lot of) gender envy in there also xd
G: What trait of his bother me the most?
I'm gonna approach this from two angles. As a person what would bother me in him is his tendency to get bored with people. He starts to get restless if the setting stays the same for too long. He gets attached easily, but letting go is equally easy for him. It's a big contrast to my character as I attach strongly and vaguely easily but I'm almost unable to let go of my emotional attachments to people. Even if I lost contact with them years ago, I'm regularly getting caught in a spiral of sadness even over the people who didn't treat me well. But this trait of his is not something impossible to work around. It's not like he stops liking/loving someone just because he got bored, unless there is something wrong with the other person of course. If someone is willing to follow him with his way of life, there probably is no limit for his attachment.
As for what bothers me in him as a ttrpg character that I have to roleplay. That damn charisma xD I completely lack any knowledge about how stuff like flirting is supposed to work, so I don't even know how to pretend that I know. Other social interactions also. It's really hard to roleplay a character who is supposed to be in his element in social settings, be charming, outgoing and all that stuff when I'm the least all of that kind of person possible. I often hear advice to just pretend that I am or to just say something that would be appropriate and not care about the tone, but the issue is this is all alien to me and I don't know where to even begin knowing what to pretend. I have this idea of Cayden's vibe in my mind but it's like he is my friend who I know is cool but I don't have what he has, I can't ever be spontaneous with what I say and it looks like it's a crucial skill to have.
H: What trait of his I admire?
Definitely the optimism and confidence. Also stuff I'm unable to roleplay properly, but he's supposed to improvise a lot. He's usually convinced that everything will work out in some way and it usually does. He probably could talk himself out of any trouble, but I cannot roleplay that! Aaaaa!
#ask#Cayden#pathfinder#monerelurking#answer#oops I just noticed that the questionnaire can be interpreted differently than I did#like the numbered questions should be answered in character oops#that would've been a cool exercise in getting in character but it went over my head
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One of the most interesting things abt w359 for me that I think I kind of disagree w some of the fandom on is that I… really like Hera not having a physical form? I know she did at a few points including during the finale, but like when I think of her I just do not conceptualize her with a human form, and I feel like it’s a really interesting idea to explore her just…. Not having one. Like not even conceptualizing herself as having one.
Something about the idea of consciousness without a body, of being in multiple places and being one self but not having a singular body is just super intriguing and also alluring to me, and so I think that’s why it’s always weird to me when I see fanart designs of Hera with a body because my brain takes a moment to like… think about it, because I simply do not think she has one!
#which is not to say I think body designs of her are bad#there is sOOO much cute art of her out there that I love#i just really like…. personally can’t imagine it#part of it is also probably the gender envy aspect of like#existing without existing#if that makes sense#this is one of my favorite pieces of Hera’s character though and I’d love to do a mini character study on her in that regard at some point#wolf 359#hera wolf 359#the fruit is talking again
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I've played with transmasc Anakin and "cis dude but genuinely into the idea of getting pregnant" Anakin and omega male Anakin...
But how do we feel about transfemme Anakin?
Notes on my mind:
Obi-Wan probably dithers over it because Tradition, but lets Ani grow her hair out from the padawan cut for gender affirmation reasons. (Komari apparently wore her hair long as a padawan, so precedent!)
Obi-Wan sees Anakin sighing over holos of Padme's public speaking engagements and chooses to assume it's gender envy and not a crush, proceeds to learn how to do braids and increasingly complex hairstyles for Anakin's sake. Anakin does not know Obi-Wan is doing this until Obi-Wan is already skilled with it. I'm going to say that he asked Siri Tachi to let him practice on her since he only has so many human friends with long hair, and Quinlan's is in dreads.
Jedi Temple obviously subsidizes most elements of transition (HRT, surgeries, essential parts of the wardrobe, possibly some cosmetics?)
Obi-Wan accidentally cementing Anakin's loyalty to him over Palpatine because Palps never considered he had to learn how to be polite about gender stuff, while Obi-Wan is putting in a lot of effort.
Please understand how much I love the idea of Ani trying on makeup and the first time she gets it mostly right and is happy with the results, Obi-Wan just has a Dad Moment and comes up behind her and hugs her around the shoulders and meets her eyes in the mirror and tells her "you look beautiful, padawan" because he can't let himself call her 'sweetheart' or 'my dear' because Attachment but his voice kinda just cracks and she knows he's having a 'my little girl' thing going on 'cause his shields are down and probably she starts crying.
Whether or not Ani and Padme fall in love is irrelevant because I need Padme putting Ani in ALL the dresses. Sure, Ani's too tall for most of them but.
I feel like this would pave the way for a Girl's Night Out episode in TCW feat. Ani, Ahsoka, and Padme for sure, probably running into Ventress, maybe cameos by Barriss and Aayla. Yes, I am thinking about Leverage.
Ahsoka is overall really stoked that she gets a female master. It's all the canon Snips and Skyguygal but now there's nights designated as Girl Talk.
We'll say Anakin got to Shmi early enough to save her because reasons*, and Shmi has a lot of feelings about Ani transitioning and Coming Into Her Own. (It does take a bit to convince Owen that Anakin is, in fact, Shmi's child. Demonstrating the Jedi Magic helps.)
* IDK maybe Palpatine was so caught up in trying to figure out how to balance his desire to gaslight and control Anakin with Palpatine's own original-trilogy-implied lack of respect for women and presumably trans people that he didn't time the Tuskens thing right.
Help I want to make this Rexwalker in the vein of 'boy walks into walls because his crush took her hair down after a hard fight and sure she's covered in blood but that just makes her more attractive' and IDK the clone group chat is now just Rex and Bly being bullied to hell and back by all their brothers.
Obi-Wan ends up having a network of friends that are specifically trans Jedi because they all noticed him panicking and looking up books in the archives on how to support your transitioning child and went "aw, he's trying! He... wow, he's crying, somebody help him."
Anakin's fairly public about being a trans woman? Most of the GAR knows specifically because non-cis clones all got really excited and spread the word and she keeps getting approached by queer and questioning clones for advice.
"Somehow" this aspect of her identity doesn't make it into the propaganda about the war and about The Team. (Palpatine assures her the marketing team probably thought it was necessary to keep arguments about the war from being derailed, and to protect Anakin from people who'd try to use her identity against her. The marketing team didn't care, really, but Palpatine sure told them to keep it quiet.)
Oh my god please imagine Rex trying to figure out how to put together a bouquet for a pretty girl while they're on a planet that's decent for that sort of thing oh my god I'm going to make myself cry thinking about Rex being head over heels for his general and incidentally putting in All The Effort to make sure he doesn't fuck up the gender stuff
Listen between the mental image of Obi-Wan grabbing a particularly rude senator's arm and telling them "you are aware that Knight Skywalker is something of a daughter to me, yes?" as a threat and the overall idea of Rex getting flustered by Ani, I am... I'm gonna cry, guys.
As @the-lunar-system put it:
Rex: Girls like flowers, right?
Rex: But it's Anakin, she likes, like, mechanic parts, and swordplay
Rex: But also I don't want her to think I'm assuming she prefers more ""masc"" hobbies
Rex: But also those ARE her hobbies
(he ends up getting her a vibroblade engraved with flowers)
#Anakin Skywalker#Obi Wan Kenobi#Captain Rex#Rexwalker#trans anakin skywalker#Sheev Palpatine#Padme Amidala#Ahsoka Tano#star wars#the clone wars#trans female character#Phoenix Posts#trans headcanons#listen the face I was making whenever I imagined Rex trying to flirt#or Obi-Wan trying his best to be a supportive dad#like I was this close to crying you guys#In my defense I wrote this up at 1 AM#transfemme anakin
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Dear Trans Dad, The biggest thing keeping me from starting T is the thought of losing my hair. But then thinking that makes me feel like I don't deserve to transition. Do you have any advice?
Hi, Anon!
That's a pretty common sentiment, so please don't feel alone.
Medical transition is a gateway for many of us to finally learn to love our bodies. But if it makes loving yourself actually harder, it doesn't make you any less trans to grouse about it, or even opt out of. I have friends who stopped T entirely because the negative changes outweighed the positive for them and others who may never start HRT. And me, being on T for 11 years now, there are definitely days when it isn't all sunshine and roses.
HRT will always be there as an option, if you want to pick it up. Yeah, there's benefits to starting young and staying consistently on it, but it's absolutely legit to dislike, even loathe, some of the effects.
I'm not going to bring up ways you can prevent/slow hair loss while on T -- I honestly haven't done that research, but there's also no silver bullet. Hair loss on T is complicated because there's a few different patterns triggered by different things. (I don't have male pattern baldness, but I do have a receding hairline that hits everyone, regardless of chromosomes, on one side of my family.)
That said, it might be helpful to do a few things:
1) Unpack why hair loss upsets you.
Does it make you feel old?
Does it conjure negative aspects of masculinity?
Does it make you actually more dysphoric? (This is true for me often -- my receeding hairline shows off my softer brow line and I feel very exposed, as if it were a big "tell". Yes, ironic given how out I am being trans.)
Does it make you not feel attractive? (I feel this, too, having been seen as a pretty twinkish, elvin boy pre-T and complimented on my hair often.)
2) Work out strategies to mitigate bad feelings and mental associations.
It's possible to convince yourself "it's not that bad" without delegitimizing your hurt feelings. It's not easy, but it's possible. It can take time, though, so be patient with yourself.
For me, it is not a coincidence that my current celeb gender envy fella is older than me, and with a similar hairline. My gender role models have gotten progressively more refined over the years, from 100% pipe dream fantasties to just... ordinary dudes. Cis men who feel "achievable" to me might have once felt like a concession of defeat, but it's quite the opposite - I feel more comfortable, like I belong. I actually feel more "seen". Ymmv, of course.
Other things that may work - celebrating the parts of yourself that make you feel good. Refining my wardrobe style has helped me a lot here. And I love how T has refined my hands, even though they are also the biggest "tell" for my age.
3) Give yourself permission to love yourself more, experiment, and have fun.
Hair is one of the easiest things to change about our appearances. Experiment now, continue to experiment through your transition, medical and/or social. If you think you're going to lose your hair, go out now and do the styles and colors you may have once thought were silly to try to avoid future regret.
(I've been posting more selfies. Prior to that, I made it a point to have fun with my hair via color and cut. I like using my own hair for cosplay vs a wig in part because it's a fun way to play with gender presentation. Even if that presentation is sometimes a middle-aged kinda schlubby dad, ha ha.)
4) Give yourself permission to mourn.
Men mourn their hair loss, and it's something I don't see a lot of trans men (and especially not nonbinary folks) talk about. Probably because we develop martyr complexes when closeted, and then don't want to look ungrateful/inauthentic when we get access to transition. It's helpful to reach out and find others in the same boat.
If you decide to start T, it's good to be prepared for the negative aspects of transition. You know what is best for you. What you might think of as simply "vanity" is actually quite complicated, but at the end of the day, you deserve to feel as euphoric as possible about your gender. <3
(Disclaimer: I'm speaking as a binary trans dude with a pretty stereotypical masc gender presentation. Feel free to tack on with your own thoughts, especially if you are a different flavor of trans and/or tackling this issue from some other angle.)
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hi... idk if this is stupid but any tips on telling apart gender envy and attraction? i've been questioning for years and it's really throwing me off. i don't wanna transition only to realize i wanted to be with the person instead of being them :((
this ended up being long asf cuz i love to ramble so im gonna put it under the cut
i’ve struggled a lot with that too, i started being attracted to men after transitioning more, instead of just having gender envy towards them, thanks to physical/medical/more intense social transition which made me able to interact with men while not being perceived as a woman. it was all very confusing.
generally, i don’t think pure attraction would make you?? want to transition??? like if you were just attracted to them then you would be attracted to them as your current gender, not want to change your gender to be more like them? i guess maybe that could happen but honestly i don’t rly think cis people usually work like that.
i also think you need to deconstruct your idea of what ‘transition’ means - it’s not like one singular process over a set amount of time that you go through and then suddenly at the end you realize you made a mistake and don’t identify that way. transitioning is an active choice you make every moment of every day, and the vast majority of it is internal + social, not physical, so if you end up changing your mind, you can do it just fine. i strongly doubt you would go through an entire social and medical transition without realizing that you actually just wanted to be with someone. along the way you will be able to understand which parts of gender and transition make you happy, and what feels wrong. you’ll be able to feel out how things like altering your gender presentation with clothes, pronouns, names, etc, feels to you. if it makes you feel more like yourself, you’re probably not just doing it because you’re attracted to someone.
you can (and should) also take your transition as slow as you want, deciding to transition is a big deal but also it doesn’t have any inherent repercussions, from that decision you can choose to do whatever you want with your gender. take it one little step at a time, it’s not a big huge thing that happens all at once, it’s a slow and tedious and active process that will give you plenty of time to figure yourself out along the way.
as always, my blanket advice is that thinking really hard about your gender identity and what you want and how you feel often does not help, what does help is actually experimenting with your identity/presentation/etc, in whatever way you think would be most helpful and doable, even if it’s just by yourself or with a close friend or online etc. it doesn’t have to be drastic or public.
if you’ve been questioning for years, that’s a pretty solid indicator that some part of your identity, gender, sexuality, or presentation, is not currently what will make you happiest & your most genuine self. which part, i can’t tell you, but you can figure out with experimentation.
it also can be both gender envy and attraction. i feel that way about guys sometimes. it doesn’t make either aspect less valid or important, it just means there are traits of that gender/person that i find attractive both in a partner and that i want for myself. now that i’m more comfortable in my body & presentation (shoutout to hrt), the relationship i have with gender-envy-attraction is a little different, it would take a whole essay to explain but basically i just have a type LOL.
i can’t tell if you mean that there’s one specific person who you feel gender envy / attraction towards, or if this is a more general thing for you. if you mean one person, then consider looking for other sources of gender inspiration, like other people you’d want to be like, and see how it feels, and just think about your life and experiences separate from this person.
either way, think about who you would want to be if there were no expectations or context. just if it was you alone being able to choose what gender you were born as, or how you would want to look/be if you could instantly magically make it happen. if it’s something different than how you are now, then that’s significant! for example, i know that if i was the only person on earth and no one would ever see me, i would still want to have a flat chest. and i wouldn’t be able to choose which gender i id want to be born as because i wouldn’t want to be born as either one. dealing inn hypotheticals like this can be frustrating and unhelpful, but it can also help you get to the root of your feelings by removing the practical context of your life.
as always my perspective is that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from experimenting with your gender, and you should go for it, and if you end up realizing that it’s not for you, that’s totally fine and you can go back to being cis! no harm done! but if there’s even a chance that changing something about your gender would make you happier, you should try it out.
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Jojo parts ranked and your favorite/least fave things about each one, if that's not too much!
Ohh fun!! Excluding Jojolion and Steel Ball run since I haven't finished them yet. Lowest to highest!
Dishonourable mention: Jorge Joestar
6. Battle Tendency
Fav thing: It had some really cool animation and I like Kars! He's a neat villain.
Least fav thing: I'm not gonna say it but you can probably guess.
5. Stardust Crusaders
Fav thing: Fun group dynamic and some really cool concepts! Although stands weren't quite as developed, it still has some really cool ones!
Least fav thing: Went on too long for my tastes and I hated a lot of the humour it went for. Also pretty inconsistent in terms of characters and tone.
4. Stone Ocean
Fav thing: The characters, specifically the main cast!! I look up to the main ladies so much, I adore them.
Least fav thing: I found getting through all the filler battles a drag and the gore was just so... weird and gross and unsettling at times. Also the ending completely cut off any potential and unresolved threads and it makes me really sad, I wish it had been gone about a different way or at least more had been explored before it happened. Has some of my favourite characters but I had a hard time enjoying the whole thing.
3. Phantom Blood
Fav things: Actually one of the stronger parts imo. I really like the main characters!
Least fav things: I wasn't super invested and I'm having a hard time recalling what happened since it's been a really long time since I watched it.
2. Diamond is Unbreakable
Favs things: A really fun cast of characters and I like the overall plot! Very colourful and I love the stands! It has such good vibes! Also banger openings <3 I absolutely adore Reimi and Mikitaka and I relate to them a bit,,
Least fav things: A lot of things are left disregarded and unexplored, and it has some things that really disturb me...
1. Vento Aureo
No surprise, huh?
Fav things: I love the characters and stands so so so much and I constantly have gender envy think about them. I also find it the easiest to read/watch!
Least fav things: A lot of aspects including characters are underdeveloped, and there's a lot left to be desired. Also 95% of my favs died cruelly and brutally. Ow.
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[ grabs you like little squeaky toy ] question for my beloved little Grace my sunshine my angel my little meow meow my scrunkl
What about each of her . Interests. All ten. :). Actually attracts her to them?
Oh boy, lol. For those who don't know, Grace is a bit of a hopeless romantic and gets crushes fairly easily- currently she has ten.
•Alucard Bathory - He's a very tall, handsome vampire man. Being a vampire alone is attractive, but he's also very suave for the most part- when he's not being utterly terrifying. What really made Grace find him attractive though, was the small glimpses she would catch of his soft side when he interacts with his little brothers. As someone who values family over everything, she finds that appealing.
•Adelais Du - Gender. That's all I can say. Grace herself doesn't really question her gender, but Adelais is immaculate gender, and she can appreciate that. (Totally not bc the anon gets insane gender envy from him or anything *cough cough*)
•Archibald D'bullion - Archie, like Alucard, is a tall pretty man with his blonde hair and blue eyes. But unlike Alucard, Archie's presence is what draws Grace in. Archie just has this laid back personality and just generally calming sort of aura. Grace honestly would enjoy just sitting and reading with him. Her feelings for Archie are kinda complicated bc she can't tell if they are platonic or not.
•June Fosse - Honestly Grace just thinks he's absolutely gorgeous. He looks pretty feminine for one thing, his hair is a very nice shade of pink, he's got freckles and he's got HETEROCHROMIA (one of said eyes being blue). Grace doesn't want to actually date him, since he'd probably be a bit... much. But he seems nice enough and he's insanely gorgeous. (Also anon gets insane gender envy for him too *cough*)
•Ezra 'Iiksir - Mom. Ezra is a mom. Yes, he is a very pretty man with beautiful purple hair, a nice skin complexion, pretty blue eyes, and a well put together appearance. He is also pretty polite and nice from what Grace has seen of him. But what really draws her to him is his mom energy that just absolutely radiates off of him. Like Archie, Grace can't tell what exactly her feelings for him are.
•Claudious Grove - Claudious is a bit of an interesting case. In which Grace really has not interacted with him at all. But his monochromatic appearance is very pretty to look at, and he's got this stern and mysterious sort of air about him. But what really draws Grace in are the rumors she hears about him having a soft spot for children. Grace herself isn't the fondest of kids at the moment, but she's a sucker for tough people with secret soft sides.
•Lyon S. Kent - Grace has only met this guy like- once when they accidentally bumped into each other. But he's very pretty and very nice, and Grace found herself flustered pretty much immediately. She knows pretty much nothing else about him, so this crush is the lightest of the ones she has.
•Vixen "Dixie" Rosehearts - See, the better question here is this; what ISNT there to love about Dixie? He's absolutely gorgeous in multiple different ways, he's into and performs alt music, he's an anarchist(and arsonist), he likes animals, and he says trans rights! Not to mention he was made for the bisexuals, and Grace is very much bisexual. But what makes him really appealing is his very welcoming and outgoing sort of attitude. For someone kinda high strung like Grace, that sort of aura is like a beacon. And, of course the big thing that really draws her to people, he cares immensely for his family. He checks so many boxes, and if Grace had the confidence and were a year older, she would totally go for it.
•Jade Leech - Ah, yes, Grace's main love interest. He's a very pretty man, which we've established Grace loves (he's even got BLUE HAIR and HETEROCHROMIA), he's got this sort of calm yet mischievous presence that Grace takes kind of a thrill in, and he's got the aspect of being caring for his family because of his brother. Like Dixie, he checks a lot of boxes. But what lands him as her main love interest really comes from the fact that he's in the same dorm as her, and a rather prominent member. Because of this, he was likely the first person of all her love interests that she'd ever met, and she interacts with him a lot more. This allows her to form a sort of bond with him, and that's the real key of truly making it into Grace's heart.
•Malleus Draconia - What can I say? He's a very pretty dragon man who is easily one of the most attractive NRC students (the black hair and piercing green combo is VERY aesthetically pleasing). Not to mention, he is a DARK FAE PRINCE? Who in their right mind WOULDN'T find that attractive? As an extra perk, he's so obviously neurodivergent, so they've got that solidarity going on.
#grace turzek#grace's harem#twst oc#alucard bathory#adelais du#archibald d'bullion#June Fosse#ezra 'iiskir#claudious grove#lyon s kent#vixen d rosehearts#dixie#jade leech#malleus draconia
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thoughts i’ve had about teaching and being queer and whatnot and how concessions are made and not and how does it all fit in
this turned into a thing yall.
Teacher AU
Cookie Cutter Mold
Edward is a proud gay man. He’s always been a proud gay man since his coming out, years ago, and has never backed away from who he is. He’s stood up for his rights, has gone to marches and protests, and has taken the time to educate those around him who didn’t get it. Before he started working, Edward was an active part of the community. He’d volunteered. He’d attended talks. He’d gone to events.
He considers himself lucky that his parents didn’t boot him out, that most of his friends, family didn’t turn their backs on him, and he knows he’s luckier still to feel safe and good about himself. He knows it’s not everyone who gets what he has and so he’d fought to even out the playing field as much as he could.
With his job now, he has less time and lesser energy for such things. He keeps an ear peeled out for news and follows what he can on social media, but the fight in him has shifted. He has students’ he’s responsible for and they have needs that are seldom met. He figures, the new generation will pick up where he left off and such. He has enough on his plate as it is.
Despite the fact that he likes to say that he’s proud of who he is and that he has no shame, he still finds himself struggling with some aspects of his identity and there are times when it irritates him that the fighter he used to be seems to be cowered by some other faceless entity named school.
It seems that he’s able to make a safe space in his classroom for the kids, he can put up a rainbow sticker in his window, remind them constantly that they’re allowed to be whomever they want to be, that he can shut down any discussion where the word “gay” is used as an insult and then have frank discussions about gender and sexuality. He can make interesting units and even be cross curricular in his projects about such topics and really get the kids thinking and talking, but for some reason, he can’t ever bring himself to place a photo on his desk of him and his partner.
He feels like he tells half a lie and half a truth every time one of his kids asks him if he has a girlfriend and he says no. On most days, it doesn’t bother him, but there are those times when he’d like to tell them that he might not have a girlfriend, but instead he has a wonderful partner who makes him just as happy. That you don’t need to have a significant other to be happy and that it’s okay if your partner is of the same gender as you.
He keeps the last part for his lessons on gender and sexuality, once he hits the sex education module, but otherwise, he says he doesn’t have a girlfriend and tries not to let their surprised or shocked expressions get to him.
And it’s not that he fears the reaction of the kids. He can deal with that. He’s dealt with their reactions over a multitude of things over the many years of his career and has lived to tell the tale. They’re young and need to have their world’s broadened. It’s why he’s here. It’s what he’s for. But, for some reason, it’s the parents and administration he still somehow fears in some measure, despite everything.
He doesn’t know what the parents think and doesn’t know what upbringing they had. He can’t tell what their political affiliations are and just how bothered they would be to know that their precious child is being taught by a gay man. He’d stand up for any of his students’ if they were being shunned by their parents– would fight their parents if they needed him to in regards to pretty much anything, but the thought of doing it for himself freezes him – it’s easier to keep quiet and keep his head low.
In retrospect, it doesn’t really matter. It’s not as if he wants to announce it to the whole school that he’s gay and that he has a partner. Him and Étienne have decided from day one to keep it on the down low – that the students’ don’t need to know. Not out of shame, but more because it’s part of their personal lives and they like to keep that to themselves. School already takes so much out of them, they’ll give it the fact that they met there and call it a day.
Sure, the kids will ask, but other than that, they care more about their friends, when’s recess and how soon is snack or lunchtime.
With time, they’ve let some of their colleagues in on it. Colleagues who’ve turned into friends – those they’ve learned to trust over the years and over careful conversations. It’s taken a while, but they’ve crafted a solid circle through careful and considerate conversations. Discreet gathering of information and such. Watching for reactions. Listening and waiting.
Edward’s learned the hard way that even if people seem friendly and open minded, sometimes, it is more of an appearance than a truth. He’s learned to listen and to wait. He never brings up the more controversial topics and instead waits for them to happen in the news. Then, when it inevitably comes up in conversation, he listens to his colleague’s reactions – sees what they say about such an actor who’s come out, or such a comedian who’s letting their son wear a dress at school. He wonders, every time, if his colleagues would have currated their reactions had they known that they’d been in the presence of a queer man, but he supposes that this staged authenticity allows him to carefully navigate who it is he can trust.
Between the two of them, Étienne is, and will probably always be, the more flamboyant one, if only for their hair. Étienne’s hair is a thing of beauty that cascades down their back in thick curls that Edward knows are the envy of many. They like wearing patterned shirts and colourful socks with shoes with motifs on them and they play the art teacher card, even though Edward knows better. If they’re a little quirky and bold in their style, it passes and the rest of the school lets them be. If the students think they look “weird” with their hair and clothes, Étienne can get them to discuss why it is they’re weird and throw a myriad of images of various “weird” artists on the board and it gets the students’ to settle down.
But, even if Étienne gets to be their flamboyant self, Edward does his own thing in his own way. He knows that doing it Étienne’s way wouldn’t necessarily work for him and he also knows that his partner struggles with their own identity as well.
It’s still a quiet fact amongst their inner most circle – family and really close friends only, but last summer or so, during a scorcher of a July day, shortly after the school year had finally ended and they’d spent the first week of break sleeping and doing little less, Étienne had quietly admitted that on top of everything else that had happened during the school year, they were starting to feel the weight of “Monsieur Étienne” even more. Edward hadn’t been sure what his partner had meant by that, but Étienne had told him that it’d been a while now, but really this year in particular, that they didn’t feel like “he” as a pronoun fit as well as it used to. Some of it did – kind of like a shirt you tried on at the store, where the shoulders might fit nicely, but the stomach area was too tight. Or something of the likes.
They haven’t figured all of it out yet, don’t really know how it can even work within a school setting – and whether or not they want to even go down that route – but it’s drained them. Hearing it. A million times a day. It already did beforehand, being called by this name; a name that represented this other entity – this teacher person that wore the same name, but couldn’t exactly be as authentic.
Étienne tells him that it would’ve been easier, maybe, if the kids could just call him Étienne without the Monsieur attached in front of it, but they both know that that holds its own set of slippery issues and could have other repercussions on their selves. Monsieur-Étienne is a whole different person than Just Étienne and Edward knows. They both joke that it’s their teacher persona.
They also tell him that sometimes, they’d like to wear a little bit of makeup – that they would like to do it during the week as well, not just holidays and weekends – not just as a funny thing for a photo op, but – they’re not sure if that would be crossing some imaginary line and – Edward gets it all too well.
It’s one thing to do it as a joke for Halloween; to dress up and play along to their old gag they’ve been doing for the kids for years now. However, it remains a Halloween joke and doesn’t do enough to quench the thirst they have for something more in regards to their own identity – to the authenticity to their own self.
Edward asks his partner if there’s anything he can do for them to make it less daunting – if there’s a better name to call them by, but Étienne tells him that for now, it’s not so much Étienne as it is everything else. Edward leaves it at that and does his best to use less gendered terms in regards to Étienne and when speaking about them. It’s hard, though; not because he can’t wrap his mind around it, but because French is a very gendered language.
He figures it would be easier if there were others – if there were a group of queer teachers he could go to, but when he searches he finds little to nothing and he wonders if they’re not totally alone in this. It sometimes feels like it is. He wants people who get it, more than anything. He wants to speak freely to other people who are in the same situation as they both are and get a new fresh perspective from like-minded people. He doesn’t want to change the world and he doesn’t want to rock the boat, but he’d like to have companionship along the way.
He hates that he needs to make concessions – that he can’t just be his authentic self as a teacher. That the expectations of what a teacher should be are some cookie cutter mold of genderless, sexless and opinionless being who is only there to be dressed sharply and to teach the curriculum to the kids. He wants to spread his wings. He wants to bring the kids along on adventures and go beyond and above, but he hears so many horror stories about what happens to other teachers, that he keeps to himself and minds the proverbial gap. But it gets to him. Drains him. Eats away at his essence and it feels he’s doing no one a favour, least of all the kids.
And even though he knows that the school he works at has the whole “anti-bullying law” and that the kids are told that it’s not nice to bully others or discriminate over skin colour, or gender, or race, or sexuality, or religion or whatever, he’s not certain they fully get it and he’s less certain still how it applies in regards to administration. Technically, he knows he can’t get canned for being queer, but, if they wanted to, they could come up with half a dozen other reasons to let him go.
Instead, he likes to think that it’ll be easier the day they get a student with same sex parents, or something of the likes. He yearns for that day, for he feels it’ll really start the discussion – get the ball rolling and such – be a marker that things are really changing and that the comforting words administration says actually mean something. Maybe then – maybe if he’s still around at that point, he can be brave and contribute.
If he’s honest, though, it feels like a lot has been done – or is trying to be done – for the students (which is a step in the right direction), but it seems as though the queer folk already out working in schools in some faction or another, have been left out to figure it out on their own.
He hates that he’s still afraid when he could easily ask and get it over with. He could walk over to the vice-principal’s office and ask. He gets along with the man and he could simply ask, out of curiosity. Just to know. But he fears that if he does, the vice principal might read into it and that if the school doesn’t agree, he’ll be shown the door. He doesn’t want to tickle the sleeping dragon – or whatever the expression is. Keep to the status quo. It’s already so much better – and yet.
And yet.
Perhaps with the next generation of teachers and administration it’ll be different, but at the moment, school still somehow feels as though it keeps reinforcing the old traditional values of gender, stuck in some archaic mold, never really stepping out.
Sometimes, Edward wonders if it’s even worth it. He wonders if he’s over thinking it all and if he isn’t making a big case out of something small and insignificant. All this for a photo, really. The fact that he’d like to display a photo of him and his partner on his desk. He doesn’t have to. He doesn’t need to. But – he’d like to. He’d like to have the freedom to do so if he desires and not have to second-guess himself or constantly fear for something bad to happen. He wonders, also, briefly, if he would have had a different outlook on the whole matter if Étienne worked in a different school. He doesn’t know how it could have changed things, but maybe he fears his partner will also be shown the door if word gets out.
He’s – tried being brave. In his own way. In what he says and does and wears. He also keeps trying to do more.
Sometimes, when he’s alone in his classroom and not off with the science club or down in the art room with Étienne, he’ll prop up his cell phone and leave it on so that the wallpaper photo can be seen. If it’s not one of him and Étienne, he’ll peruse his phone to find one and leave it on while he eats. He tells himself he’s testing the waters and trying to get comfortable with the idea of the photo, yet every time someone knocks at his door or one of his students’ returns because they inevitably forgot something in their desk, he slams his phone down and turns it off with rapid speed, afraid. Always afraid. His heart thundering in his chest and the taste of whatever he’d been eating going sour in his mouth.
And he hates it.
Hates himself a little for it too.
And when he tells Étienne about it, later on, at the end of the day, Étienne quietly takes his hand in theirs and offers him their support, reminding him that he doesn’t need to do more than what he already does. He supposes they’re right. He’s tired of fighting for his right to exist, even if it is an invisible fight that may or may not be real, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to jinx it. He’d like to, ideally, be able to do his job and be a gay man doing his job. He’d like to know that he can be a gay teacher and have a photo of his partner and him up on his desk, if he so desired and not have to worry that it’ll be featured in the evening news with accompanying hate and scandal.
He lets the issues rest, for now. He’s given them enough thought and figures he can look at them from a fresh angle another time – maybe next year or the one after that. Eventually, he knows, - he dares to hope – there will come a time when a simple photo will not cause him so much anxiety.
(The time does come, eventually, but without much fanfare. It comes quietly, one day, in its own way, sometime during the autumn of a new school year. Edward finds a photo he rather likes a lot that he very carefully cuts and crops just so. It’s not perfect – it doesn’t scream in anyone’s face, but to him, he knows what it is and for now, it is enough. It is a step in the right direction, small as it may be, but it counts in its own way.)
FIN
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