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vinvantae · 11 months

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Unmasked

Part 10/16

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Word count - 4.5k

Between Australia and Imola, Sebastian decided not only were you going to go through your contract but he was going to get you both over for dinner - using his friendship with Charles as a facade for why the two of you would be spotted in Germany during the time off. You weren’t even sure if you would be spotted but you could never really be too careful, not wanting to make Team Thirty suspicious. They knew you and Sebastian had remained friends after his departure from the team but this would be the first time you had been around his place since he left Ferrari.

But, even if they saw you with Sebastian, they would have no idea what you were really doing there - that once you were in your former teammate’s home, he had dug out every highlighter and post-it note he owned to make notes on the copy of your contract you’d brought. Getting a spare copy was easier than you thought, Charles’ keeping the general office distracted whilst you used the photocopier. It felt almost thrilling sneaking around but you knew it had to be done.

The three of you were currently all sitting on the floor around the coffee table, their living room was cosy - toys strewn about, family photos decorating the walls - you always felt at ease here. Hanna was also privy to the secret, having learnt the truth one night you’d broken down on Sebastian, and never wanting to see you struggle like that again, she always went out of her way to ensure whenever you visited she took care of you.

“Thank you.” You smiled at Hanna as she passed you a mug of coffee, your legs crossed as you watched Sebastian at work. “Sorry for the mess.”

She waved her hand a little dismissively before giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze, her eyes kind as she studied you. “Y/n, you’re a friend. This means as much to us as it does to you.”

“You have no idea how grateful I am for you both…”

Sebastian gave you both a compassionate smile before pushing a page of your contract in your direction, a section highlighted - he lent across the table a little. “This is interesting.”

You raised a brow, both you and Charles moving forward to get a look at the paragraph your mentor had highlighted. Your teammate shuffled a little closer to you to get a better look at the small text.

Ferrari are liable for any character assassination or defamation caused by mistruths and lies used to help in the fabrication of the mystery driver.

“I remember Isabella, my lawyer, insisting they put that in now…” You let out a sigh. “I knew they’d have to lie but I didn’t want my character getting destroyed y’know? Not sure they really thought about that before they put me in a media relationship with their golden boy.”

The German man simply nodded, adding the page to a pile he was creating - you believed that it was points in the contract he could use to defend your case if necessary. He wasn’t really giving anything away, keeping his head down as he focused but as you turned away you heard him drop something on the table. Charles frowned and you turned back to Sebastian, he had a hand over his mouth as his eyes flickered over the same bit of page over and over.

“...am I screwed?”

He looked up at the page, his eyes a little wide. “They had you throw the F2 championship?”

Your teammate’s frown only deepened as he turned to face you - your head now lowered as you picked at your fingers. It was a secret you had kept for so long you’d almost convinced yourself that you’d genuinely lost the championship for real. But instead you’d let your rivals slip past you and clinch the title as per their request. Looking back, it was probably stupid, but Ferrari had offered you an F1 seat at 18 and you’d have done anything to get it.

You opened your mouth to speak but no words escaped. Charles ran a soothing hand up and down your back. “I can’t believe they asked that of you… surely… why wouldn’t they want a champion?”

“It was part of the plan. It would be harder to conceal me if I was a champion so I lost and then my seat was gone.” Your voice was quiet, letting your head lean on your boyfriend’s shoulder. “It wouldn’t be believable enough that a champion would just quit racing just as a mystery driver was revealed.”

“How come you never told anyone?” Sebastian asked, no accusatory tone to his voice.

“Who would believe me, honestly?” You laughed sadly. “I was just a kid… and then after a while I kind of convinced myself that it was true. It’s kind of hard to explain, part of my contract to not tell people either. Because, tell me honestly, would you believe Ferrari let a girl who didn’t even win a championship in F2 on their team?”

Charles winced. “When you say it like that…”

“Wow.” Seb whistled low. “I’m sorry to hear it, y/n. It’s crazy they asked that of you.”

You shrugged and carried on digging through the contract, highlighting anything that you think could be helpful - leaning forward, sticking the tabs on the pages. Charles muttered quietly in Italian and French to himself as he read the pages he had, his brow furrowed in concentration. You started to feel a little hopeless, Ferrari had a really air-tight contract. Of course they did, they had dealt with a 17/18 year old girl who didn't know any better. Your lawyer, Isabella, tried her best to get you a good deal and at the time, it was, but coming up on 8 years later things weren’t the same anymore.

“...So. There’s nothing super solid in here.” You and Charles both lifted your eyes from the pages of the contract you were studying, Sebastian was looking straight at you - determined look in his eyes. “But I have an idea.”

****

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***

“I’m not particularly worried about Thirty to be honest.” Max stood tall in the media pen that weekend in Imola, eyes fixed on the reporter in front of him. “They may not even be on the grid next year.”

The reporter’s eyes widened, and several other members of the press turned to look at the Dutchman. “Why would you say that?”

“Well, they’ve not won the championship since 2018 and that performance in Australia?” Max grimaced a little. “I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes, that's for sure...”

Max hated saying these things about you, knowing they weren't true - but Sebastian sounded so confident in his plan and he trusted him, trusted you. The way you’d sat so quietly whilst your former teammate had explained what he wanted from the Redbull driver, only lifting your head to look at Max when he questioned you. You simply smiled and nodded. “It’ll force Ferrari’s hand… I know it’s risky but I’ll try anything at this point.”

So there he was, standing in the media pen in Imola, talking shit about you. Even at your lowest points fighting each other - he had never done something like this. Sure, he’d made a comment here and there but implying your seat may be gone was crazy. He just had to hope it made it back to the right people, that maybe just one team - hopefully more - would take the bait. And it made the most sense to come from Max because, to the media, Thirty was one of his biggest rivals so they would never suspect it was one of you who had told him to say it.

All you had to do was show the other teams that you were worth the risk. And that meant getting your first win of the season, easier said than done but you just had to show them you weren’t washed up. You were determined to prove that you still had that fighting champion spirit but you wanted to earn it and that meant making your boyfriend promise he wouldn’t throw the race to let you win if it came to it.

“Amour, you know I wouldn’t.” He said, but you could see right through him.

You rolled your eyes before circling your arms around his middle. “Promise me.”

“I promise, cherie.” He tutted softly, before pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, the two of you were currently in his driver’s room. “Do you know what I’m a little surprised by?”

“What’s that?” A soft hum left your lips as you stepped away from him to gather up some of your things.

“Max… I mean, Carlos’ contract runs out this year. He’s putting his own teammate at risk by doing this and he didn’t even hesitate.”

You frowned a little, turning back to face him. “Carlos will be fine, Charles. I’m not going to take his seat and he’s a fantastic driver, Redbull would be daft not to keep him.”

Charles sighed a little. “I know that, I just… What if they offer you a really good deal.”

It wouldn’t be fair to lie to him, but you didn’t know how you felt about another team actually offering you a worthwhile deal, despite all the shit they were putting you through - you loved Ferrari, you always had - even as a kid you wanted to drive for the prancing horses. But Redbull’s car was special, and you’d always been curious how it drove. So, instead of speaking you just shrugged your shoulders at first. “At this current moment in time, I have no intention of leaving Ferrari. I may not even get an offer, let alone something better than what I get here.”

The Monegasque laughed. “How very media trained of you, cherie. Right, get yourself ready before that sac de merde Ferrari calls your handler, has my head. See you soon.”

You shared one more kiss before you slipped into your own room to get into your kit and get ready to go down to the track. You took a deep breath as you held your helmet in your hands, the large 30 staring you back in the face.

“It’s show time.”

***

“Beautiful day today, Crofty. Tifosi are out in their thousands - a good weekend so far for their team, Thirty and Charles qualifying 1st and 3rd. Hopefully they’ll put on a good show.”

“Despite the sun beating down on us, there’s a bit of a frosty atmosphere down on that track today, Martin, could you feel it when you were down there?”

“I wouldn’t want to be on that front row, that’s for sure. Verstappen versus Thirty with Charles, Lando and Carlos following close behind.”

“And with our mystery driver having everything to prove, this is definitely going to be an interesting race.”

***

For the briefest of moments you forgot what was to come as you climbed on top of your car, feet braced against the carbon fibre beneath your feet as you pumped your fist in the air. You had done exactly what you’d set out to do and won the race by over 10 seconds - you turned to the crowds and pressed your hands to your helmet before bellowing air kisses to the Tifosi who were screaming for you.

Almost as soon as your feet touched the ground, your handler and another member of Team Thirty ushered you away from the track - bringing you swiftly back to earth and their stupid body double plan. You recognised the girl as she held a copy of your helmet in her hands - nodding at the team before pulling it over her head. Your handler stepped away from you to join her as the other staffer ushered you into a small bathroom to change back into your kit.

You pulled your cap over your head to hide your messy hair and splashed your face with water before being told to hurry up. This was stupid. Your first win of the season and you weren’t even going to be the first to lift the trophy. Your trophy. Instead you had to go out and play the part of the good girlfriend.

The team parted to let you up to the barricade just as Charles finished up his interview, thanking and waving to the Tifosi - his trademark smile on his face. “Grazie Tifosi!”

As much as Charles was happy to see you after the race, he could see it in your eyes that you wanted nothing more than to be up on the podium with him. Celebrating your win. So, he did all he could, wrapping you up in his arms and squeezing you tight - your arms looping around his neck as you buried your face into his neck. He lowered his voice to a whisper. “I’m so proud of you, Cherie.”

He pressed a sweet kiss to your lips as he pulled back and you gave him a loving smile, letting your hand cup his cheek for a moment. You giggled a little “So proud of you, amour.”

You watched fondly as he hugged the rest of the team before leaving to head up to the podium to join your double and Max. It stung a little watching her step out onto the podium, and you had to hold back from recoiling as she celebrated - it should’ve just felt like an out of body experience as you listened to your national anthem over the speakers but it was just wrong. Charles winked at you from atop the podium, spraying champagne in your direction with a cheeky smile on his face. God, you were fond of that man.

You had no doubt that it wouldn’t just be you who noticed how Charles and even Max seemed different around Thirty, the way they seemingly focused much more on each other than the other person up there with them. To you it seemed so obvious that it wasn’t you up there from the way Charles seemed too awkward to touch Thirty for the podium photo, a hand hovering awkwardly around her middle instead of hauling his teammate into his side like he usually would. You had to use your hand to cover the almost smug smile on your face watching the interaction above you. Surely, someone would notice… right?

***

You tilted your head a little at the collection of brown envelopes that had landed on your desk at the headquarters that week, each one stamped with the logo of a rival team. Some not quite as interesting, Haas, Williams… but right at the top of the pile… Redbull, Aston Martin, Alpine, Mclaren… more than half the teams on the grid had approached with offers. What those offers were, you weren't sure yet exactly but the fact that Seb’s plan seemed to have worked so flawlessly. You were expecting one, maybe two offers but even teams with seemingly no available seat next year had approached you. Well, not you, but your lawyer.

Part of you knew that you shouldn’t even open them, just take them straight to Team Thirty and throw them on the desk but you just had to see what they had to offer. You pushed Redbull’s to the side and slid your finger under the opening of the Alpine envelope, you knew Fernando’s contract expired at the end of the season but you were either expecting him to stay on or Oscar to take the seat so you were interested in what they had to offer. Your wage was no secret so when you saw the number you simply nodded your head, it was only a little more than what you were on but you weren’t sure if they knew about your other offers because you had a gut feeling that whatever was in the Redbull proposal would knock your socks off. But you were wary about looking, you liked Carlos and he deserved to keep his seat so for now you put it at the back of your mind as you grabbed the Mclaren proposal.

This one was a surprise to you because as far as you knew, both boys were contracted until at least the end of 2023 so as you opened the document your eyes flickered across the page. Daniel. You didn’t even consider it, shoving the paper back into its envelope. It was then it really hit you - you shouldn’t look through these, other people’s seats were at risk. Carlos, Daniel, Yuki… Seb. Instead you bundled up the envelopes in your arms and held them to your chest.

You had finally convinced Team Thirty to at least talk about your reveal after you’d won the race in Imola, but they had no idea what was coming as Charles rounded the corner with Sebastian - who had insisted on coming as your GPDA rep. “That’s an awfully big pile.”

“...seven teams.”

“Who didn’t bite?” Charles asked, as your mentor took a couple envelopes from you to help ease the weight.

“Mercedes, Alfa Romeo and of course Ferrari.”

Seb frowned. “Mclaren did? But both of them are in contract until at least ‘23, right?”

You sighed. “Daniel. They’d buy him out of his contract…”

Both of them shook their heads disappointedly before following you towards the boardroom - your handler’s eyes widening as you stepped into the room with your current and former teammate in tow. Sebastian didn’t even spare the man a glance as he tried to greet him, instead placing the envelopes on the table. Mattia frowned as he noticed the opposing teams logos printed on the brown paper you laid down in front of you as you sat.

“What… What is this? Did you go to other teams?” You could hear the panic in his voice, the rest of Team Thirty just staring the three of you down. Your lawyer stepped into the room and sat beside Sebastian, she’d instantly been more than happy to join your side in this after you told her about your handler’s threat. They’d had one too many meetings without her present and that was going to stop.

“She didn’t have to” Isabella spoke up, her jaw clenching a little. “After Max’s comment in the media and a couple of loose-lipped staffers… I was practically chased through the paddock by the other teams.”

Isabella was one of those people you didn’t want to be on the wrong side of - she was loyal to the bone but if you crossed her she wouldn’t go quietly. “And honestly? Some of these deals look pretty good.”

You knew she was aware of the content of each offer, you wanted to make sure that the offers were at least enticing enough to scare Ferrari. She narrowed her eyes when a random member of the team tried to take the Alpine offer from her. “Sorry, only important eyes.”

“What do you want, y/n?” Your handler finally spoke up, eyes narrowing his dark eyes at you a little as Isabella handed stripped down versions of the copies of the offers to him and Mattia. “Are you saying you’re leaving us?”

“I think you know what I want… I just won a race despite you saying I didn't deserve my seat and now I have 7 other teams interested in me. I want my reveal. Simple. And if you continue to say no, that Redbull offer looks pretty interesting to me.” You hadn’t even read the offer, you weren’t even considering it right now, but they had to think you were.

Mattia sighed. “May we have the room?”

Charles and Sebastian each took a handful of your proposals and the four of you left the room and crossed the hallway into the small room opposite. Isabella turned to you and smiled. “I think we’ve got this, y/n…especially with that Redbull and Aston proposal.”

You frowned a little, not meeting Seb’s eyes. “I really hope we do, I… I don’t like the idea of someone losing their seat because of me.”

“Kid.” Sebastian put his hand on your shoulder, and you finally lifted your gaze from your feet to meet his eyes - he gave you a gentle smile. “I’ve not really told anyone yet but, you wouldn’t be the reason I didn’t have a seat anymore… I’m planning on retiring at the end of the year.”

“Sebastian.” You gasped. “Wh-what?”

He put his other hand on your other shoulder, giving you a gentle squeeze. “So if you need to get out, please consider my seat. I know Aston isn’t performing this year but it's something new.”

You threw your arms around him and hid your face in his neck, your voice cracking as you spoke. “You can’t leave… I…”

The German man rubbed your back. “I’m always going to have your back, y/n. Regardless if I’m on the grid. Besides, you’ve got a pretty good teammate these days.”

Charles blushed a little as Seb winked at him. “I also have a feeling why Alfa Romeo didn’t offer you anything.”

You pulled back from your mentor to turn to look at your boyfriend, a curious look on your face. “I just thought they were happy with their line up.”

The Monegasque hummed. “I mean, they are, but I’m pretty sure Fred would kick himself if he let you move to another team when he wants you to stay here.”

The curious look on your face morphed into a frown, why would Fred want you here? But before you could ask him anything - there was a gentle knock on the door, and the four of you looked up to see none other than Mattia opened the door. There was a look in his eyes you didn’t recognise, something new. “We’re ready for you.”

Isabella gave you a nod and the four of you followed Mattia back into the conference room, your handler no longer present. You decided not to speak on the matter, sitting back down in your original seat opposite the team principal, trying your best to keep your cool. Charles placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“For too long we’ve kept your talent under wraps and, aside from a certain someone who has now been let go, we believe you’re right. It’s time for you to reveal yourself.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you could’ve sworn your heart skipped a beat - you placed a hand over your chest. “R-really?”

He smiled a little. “Really. You’re right… you’ve been right for a while. I know you and Charles are happy together but trying to use a fake relationship to cover this whole mess up was never going to work. A lot of people were very confused by the body double… And, we’d actually like to match Redbull’s offer. We want you to stay with us, y/n.”

You laughed a little, wiping away a tear that threatened to escape. “And he’s really gone?”

Mattia nodded. “Yes. I should’ve spoken up the other day, how he treated you was unacceptable… But, we’d like to do this the right way. A way where both parties come out as unscathed as possible.”

“You do remember in her contract that you are liable for any damages to her character, correct?” Isabella spoke up. “So if it comes to it, you will need to defend her or we can file a lawsuit.”

“Understood.” His smile at her was forced. “But, I’ve got a contact at GQ who I think would be perfect for this. We’ve worked with her before and she’s very professional and we can tailor the questions that she asks. And, as your contract states, we’ll be keeping the fact you threw your F2 championship secret… we’ll defend you, you defend us.”

“Everything okay?” Sebastian had noticed you’d gone eerily quiet, he placed his hand on your shoulder - giving it a gentle squeeze. “This is your moment, y/n, if you want to do this in a different way you should speak up.”

You took a deep breath. “No, I think the article makes sense… I always pictured it being more of a spectacle but I think doing it this way gives us more time to gauge the public response y’know?”

“That’s what we were thinking” your PR manager spoke up. “I know we’ve messed this up but we do want to do the best by you and we think having the upper hand will work here.”

“...I hope so. Uhm, I know we’ve had our disagreements recently but thanks. I need this more than you know.”

Mattia chuckled, nodding towards the German man sitting beside you. “The fact you brought Sebastian for back up made me know as soon as you walked in that you meant business. I hope that being unmasked frees you up enough so you can start winning some more races for us, hmm? We haven’t won a championship since you and we’d like that to change. Whether that’s going to be you or Charles, I don’t know yet but hopefully this will give us a fighting chance.”

“Thank you, sir.” You smiled and stood up, shaking his hand. “I look forward to working with you going forward.”

He shook your hand. “You can be honest with me now, were you ever considering taking any of those offers? I mean, I’m not even a driver and they were tempting.”

“Was fully dependent on how this meeting went to be honest… I hadn’t even read them in full but some of them were very generous.” You admitted.

Isabella stepped forward. “I’d like to get that raise you mentioned in writing as soon as possible, please. Shall we schedule a meeting for before or after the US?”

“We can do it before.” The curly-haired man hummed, nodding towards the two lawyers on Team Thirty before turning back to face you and your company. “Enjoy your weekend off. Nice to see you Sebastian, Charles… Isabella.”

The four of you walked in silence back to your office, but as soon as the door closed behind you - you threw your arms around Charles’ neck. “Oh my god. It’s happening Charles… It’s really happening.”

He laughed and wrapped his arms around your middle, squeezing you tight. “I’m so proud of you. I don’t have the words to describe how much I think you deserve this, cherie.”

You sunk into his hold, taking a deep shaky breath, fisting the fabric of his shirt up in your hands as you sobbed quietly. Isabella excused herself from the room, allowing you to have a private moment with your boyfriend and mentor, the latter lent against your desk with a smile on his face - a stray tear had escaped and he reached up to wipe it away. Charles pulled back just enough to press a kiss to your lips before resting his forehead against yours, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

Your years of fighting had finally paid off.

You were going to be free.

***

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***

Next part >>>

And here it is! Sorry for the lil delay! So happy with this chapter so I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ❤️

Want to be notified when I post? Join our discord, head to reaction-rolls and click the sunflower 🌻

#f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 #formula one #x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #unmasked fic #leclerc x reader #Charles leclerc x you

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footy-fictionist · 1 year

Text

Graduation - Jude Bellingham

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x female reader

Warnings: fluff, little bit of sadness, cliché meeting

Word count: 1411

Note: my first Jude imagine, I hope you all enjoy. As always, I don't know Jude and have no clue what he is like, so this is how I imagine him. Pure fiction, please do not copy or publush my work. Reblogging is totally fine. Please let me know what you think. English is not my first language and if I missed anything, please let me know.

She’d been working incredibly hard the past four years. Her sports degree was a tough course and the assignments took up a lot of time. She was honestly surprised she’d even found the time to meet her boyfriend, Jude. She needed a break during her third year of Uni and decided to spend it in Germany. She’d always loved football and according to the stories of others, the Signal Iduna Park was a stadium you had to visit. And that’s what she did. She never imagined bumping into Jude Bellingham a day before the game. She decided to take a walk to clear her head of all the Uni assignments and as she closed her eyes, enjoying the sun, she bumped into someone. She immediately started apologizing, as did the person she bumped into. That’s when they looked into eachothers eyes for the first time.

They hit it off immediately and Jude asked her to get a coffee with him, to which she agreed (of course). After the coffee they parted ways, but as Jude walked away he realized he never got her number. He immediately turned back around but she was already gone. He didn’t expect to see her again, only to find her at the front row of his game the next day. He was warming up when she smiled at him and gave a little wave when they met eyes again. He smiled brightly back at her and just before going back into the tunnel, he went to her and asked if she could stay a little longer after the game, to which she agreed. He scored two times that day, one time on the field and one time when he got her number after the game.

The rest is history and they just celebrated a year of their relationship. It wasn’t easy, first of all it’s a long distance relationship and second, they are both incredibly busy. But they always put in the effort for each other and they made it work. She went to games whenever she could and he would meet her in England whenever he had a bit of time off. But finally everything would be getting easier. She’s graduating and he will probably get a move during the summer. That would give them the opportunity to start over somewhere together. She could decide on a master wherever they’d go, because she definitely wanted to do some more studying. This isn’t a problem at all for Jude, he loves how smart she is and how much she cares about her own education.

But there still is a little bump in the road. Jude won’t be able to make it to her graduation. He had some sponsor obligations and he would be at Adidas headquarters during the ceremony. This of course didn’t feel right to either of them. She was incredibly disappointed that he wouldn’t be there, especially after she learned that she and her friends wouldn’t be graduating on the same day. Because their year was so big, they split the group into two days. She was the only one of her friends on a different day. So when Jude said he wouldn’t be able to make it, she almost burst into tears. But she put up a brave facade and told Jude it was fine, that the sponsor was very important.

Jude of course, saw right through it. He knew how upset she was and that’s why he immediately contacted both Adidas and his family. Whilst discussing a different date with Adidas he informed his family of her graduation date and asked them to be there for her in case Adidas wouldn’t work with him to change the date. Of course Denise, Mark and Jobe made sure they would be there, whether Jude would be there or not. They all love her and they would happily go to support her. This made Jude feel a little better about the situation, but he still tried his best to change the date. Unfortunately that also meant rescheduling with the other footballers in the sponsorship, which was the hardest part.

In the meantime, she wasn’t aware of his efforts as she focussed on the last few assignments before graduation. For all she knew, only her parents would be there to support her. It made her feel quite sad at times, but she accepted that Jude couldn’t always be there for her when she WANTED him to. But she knew he would always be there for her when she NEEDED him. And for her that’s enough, because he has never let her down when she needed him. Unbeknownst to her Jude finally managed to plan a new day for the promotional sponsorship, the same day she handed in her last assignment. He didn’t tell her though, wanting to surprise her on graduation day.

So when graduation day finally arrives, he’s the first to send her a text, saying how much he loves her and how proud he is of her. It means the world to her, because even though he won’t be there, he is thinking of her. So she thanks him and gets ready. She grabs her favourite outfit and everything else she needs for the day. As she arrives at the University, she sees her parents already there and to her surprise and delight, she also sees Jude’s parents and Jobe. The tears already gather in her eyes and she isn’t even close to receiving her diploma. She hugs all of them, thanking them for coming and being there for her. Denise hugs her the longest.

“He’s so proud of you and he is really upset he can’t be here for you darling.”

Hearing Denise’s words causes a few tears to slip out of her eyes. She slowly pulls away and immediately Denise is drying her tears. It’s a happy day and she needs to save her tears. They all walk into the University hall together. She soon enough splits with her loved ones to take her seat amongst the other graduates. After the introduction speech, everyone’s name is called one by one. When her name is called she can already hear her loved ones cheering for her, Jobe’s voice overpowering everyone else's. As she takes a hold of her diploma, she takes a moment to look out over the crowd, knowing that her parents would want pictures. But as she scans the crowd, her heart stops for a second only to start beating twice as fast right after.

He’s here, he’s actually here. That’s the only thing she can think of the second she locks eyes with Jude. He’s standing right in the middle of Jobe and her mom. Smiling brightly at her and when he sees she’s noticed him, he starts cheering as well, even louder than Jobe. She’s about ready to jump off the stage to get to him, but she keeps to the ceremony and takes back her seat. This doesn’t stop her from glancing back every few seconds to make sure he is really there. And everytime she looks back, their eyes lock and he gives her a proud reassuring smile, telling her he’s really there and not going anywhere. The second the ceremony is over, she can’t get to Jude fast enough. Where Jude expects her to kiss him straight away, she does the unexpected. She hits him over the head with her diploma before wrapping her arms around his neck. He stands there shocked with his arms at his side for a moment, before wrapping his own arms around her waist.

“What was that for?!”

“For lying to me. You said you had the sponsorship, but clearly you’re not there.”

“I’m sorry love, I managed to change the date and then decided I wanted to surprise you. But it’s a good surprise right?”

“A great surprise.”

Their words are exchanged in semi-soft whispers. She pulls her chin off his shoulder to look him in the eyes. she doesn’t think he’s ever looked at her like this. Incredibly proud, like she’s hung the stars in the sky herself. No other words are exchanged for a bit, just taking each other in. Jude presses a soft kiss to her nose before kissing her lips. A smile is permanently stuck on both of their faces. Until Jobe decides he’s had enough of the lovey dovey stuff.

“Ey, we’d like to congratulate her as well. Move over! I wanna hug my sister.”

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham x female reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham fanfic #football imagine #football imagines #football one shot

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adibkhorram · 1 month

Note

Dear Mr Khorram,

I recently read one of your books, Darius the Great Is Not Okay, and I’m so glad that I did. I had heard talk of the book floating around and I never knew why, but now that I’ve read it, I’m incredibly grateful that I did. Reading about Darius’ experience with his culture, his family, and his depression hit me right in the heart, as I have gone through very similar things. Seeing someone else go through things that I’ve gone through makes me feel so much less alone, and even if it’s still hard, I know that it’s a feeling that I can share with others.

Originally, I read this book as a way to look into another perspective, a type of ‘window,’ but the more I read, the more I saw myself in Darius. I understand how he feels when his father seems disappointed in him all the time for things he can’t control, because I’ve been through that too. My parents don’t always understand that sometimes the best I can do is just getting up and staying awake. Being excluded from the group, dealing with bullies that target you for things you don’t have control over, and struggling to understand what you’re supposed to do when you’re around others isn’t too far from home. It made me sad to realize that Darius and myself had gone through very similar situations.

More than that, I saw myself in Darius’ experience trying to connect with his culture. My family comes from many different places, and I’ve never been as connected as I’d like to be. I didn’t even know about part of my heritage until I was older, since my parents never talked about it. The lack of knowledge made me feel like I couldn’t really claim the culture as my own. Darius’ hesitancy to engage in things and his uncertainty about how to talk with other people in Iran, felt like someone had taken my anxieties right out of my brain and put them onto a page, just with a different background. It makes sense that plenty of people feel that way, especially when you’re the child of an immigrant, but it still was very special to see that struggle represented.

The thing that was maybe most impactful to me was Darius’ connection with his grandfather. I lost my grandfather around a year ago, and since he lived in Germany, I didn’t get to see him as much as I would have liked. I also had to leave knowing that I wouldn’t get to visit my grandfather again, and I’ll admit that I cried a bit reading that part of the book. Losing someone is always hard, but knowing that you won’t be able to go visit them again hurts. Losing someone hurts even more when it feels like you haven’t had enough time with them. The way that you talked about Darius’ feelings hit me right in the gut, and I still haven’t fully gotten over it.

Darius’ story was a reflection of mine in so many ways, and I’m forever grateful that I took the chance and read your book. It was a book that I will probably think about for some time to come. Darius’ struggles with his mental health, with connecting to his culture, and with knowing that he won’t get to see his grandfather again all painted a very realistic portrait of teenage life, and I’m glad that I read the book. Congratulations on your newest book! I hope to hear back from you. It would be awesome to get a ‘letter’ back from an author I admire, and my teacher promised me extra credit points if I got a response back, although I was not expecting this to be done through a tumblr ask.

Sincerely,

Tobie

Hi Tobie,

Thank you so much for your lovely message. I'm so honored you saw yourself in Darius's story, and I hope it was a balm to you through your own rough times. I wrote it for folks who feel like you do—and like I do too, tbh.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather passing away. Mine are both long gone, but I think of them often, especially my Iranian one, who went through so much in his life but, in his later years, was more content than maybe any person I've ever known. He would sit on the porch of my aunt's house (where he lived), looking at the garden and the sunlight, and say "Khaylee khoob" (very good) to himself.

I hope you're taking care of yourself as best you can. And I hope, like Darius, you find the people that love you for who you are.

Yours,

Adib

#darius the great is not okay #ask adib #my emotions

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pensat-i-fet · 2 years

Text

A Manchester Affair (Rúben Dias): Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Chapter 8

Masterlist

Wattpad

September turned out to be a stupidly busy month. Matches every 3 or 4 days meant everyone was exhausted.

Lucía still managed to hang out with Rúben more than she expected at first, but she guessed those were the perks of literally living in the same place.

There weren’t other dates outside of their apartments, because of how busy the schedule was. But he definitely went out of his way to try and make every one of their meetings feel like one.

The more time they spent together, the more comfortable she felt in his company. The walls she had built around her were falling slowly, which was exciting. Maybe she could finally really be there for him. But he wanted more and he wanted it now.

Their conversations started to be longer. He would talk about his family, his childhood, his time in Manchester, …everything. There was no part of his life she didn’t know something about. Lucía, on the other hand, still couldn’t open up completely to him. Anyone could see she was just sharing the surface details. Winning a gymnastics competition aged 7, moving to Germany when she was 18 or that one anecdote she always told about her first night out in Amsterdam. It wasn’t the same, at all.

But she could see the progress. The problem was that Rúben wouldn’t be able to see it. And his frustration was obvious. So to the already big fear of potentially falling for him, and maybe being hurt again, she had to add the fear of him getting tired of her and moving to someone else who was emotionally available now. Who knew how long she was going to make him wait?

And then came the Manchester derby. The preparation for it was unlike anything Lucía had seen since arriving at United. The distance between the teams had been huge in the last couple of years, and the results from last year still stung. So the players and the staff were taking this match extremely seriously. It almost felt like a final. But there would be no trophy afterwards. Though bragging rights sometimes felt like one.

“Check her for microphones!”, said Rapha when she entered the canteen.

“Pardon?”

“Don’t you live with the entire City squad? We need to check that they aren’t using you as a mole”.

Everyone laughed at that, including her.

“They can try but they won’t be getting anything from me. I’m loyal”.

And she was honest. Lucía and Rúben had even decided not to mention the match to each other.

Something else she occupied her time on was meeting Claudia. They had visited each other's houses, gone shopping and watched movies, just to name a few things they did together. It was great to have a female friend in Manchester to talk to. She loved all her other friends but there were certain things only a girlfriend could understand. Boy talk was one of them.

Claudia had tried to get her to talk about any potential guys she might like. But Lucía kept telling her there was no one. It was much easier than trying to explain something she herself didn’t understand.

“Well”, said Claudia while they were having a coffee break in the middle of their shopping spree. “You could meet some of mine and Diogo’s friends and maybe you’ll find someone you like”.

“Yeah, maybe”, she said, not wanting to say that she had technically already found one of his friends and that she liked him, very much.

When Sunday arrived, she sat next to Scott on the bus on their way to the Etihad. But when they arrived there, he got out first and she waited for a couple of seconds. She had learnt from her time at Ajax that being seen too many times in a row with a player just meant rumours being created. And she could do without those.

Today felt like a big day. But what she didn’t know yet was that it wouldn’t just be a big day because of football.

On her way to the pitch, she saw Pep and ran to say hello to him.

“Hey!”

“Oh, hi! I was hoping I could see you before the match and wish you luck”, he said, after a quick hug.

“Same. Good luck, rival!”

“We’ll go back to being friends in two hours, right?”, he asked, laughing.

“We’ll see”.

“You and your fraternizing with the enemy…”, said Scott, shaking his head.

“Blah blah blah”.

“You’re such a brat”, he said to her, putting his arms around her shoulders and leaning down to repeat the word brat in her ear. To anyone looking from far away, it might have looked more like a kiss.

She couldn’t control the laughter and when she finally got free of his grasp, she ran to the pitch so he wouldn’t be able to catch her again.

Had she turned around just for a second, she’d have seen Rúben looking at them both. And not liking what he was seeing.

Saying that the match was bad would be an understatement. Not only did United concede more than once in the first half, again, but Varane got injured too, which was too much for Lucía if she was honest. Given what her job was, she ended up caring more about an injury-free match than about clean sheets.

But it wasn’t until the second half that she was really worried about what could happen. Scott managed to score one for the team. Not that it was going to matter much, since they were already 4-0 down but he nonetheless did a little gesture towards her when he walked past the bench. Not the right mood for a big celebration, but the fact that he remembered dedicating the goal to her made her smile.

Rúben had not started the game, which had surprised Lucía. He didn't mention it to her but she guessed that was part of their not talking about the match deal. And during the second half, he was warming up a couple of times, just in case. It was then that Scott ran for the ball and got out of the pitch and bumped into Rúben. Scott made a quick gesture with his hand as if to say sorry, but it was for nothing. Lucía couldn't believe it when she saw Rúben pushing Scott and making him fall.

The referee ran towards the both of them to separate them, and so did their teammates. No one understood Rúben’s anger but Lucía had an idea why he was acting like that. And she was not happy about it.

The match ended with a terrible result for United and she was dreading going into the dressing room and facing the players and Erik.

“Friends again?”, said Pep when they hugged.

“Don't talk to me for a couple of weeks".

And that only made him laugh.

When the players were approaching the tunnel, she tried comforting them. One of the last players to get there was Scott.

“Your neighbour is a fucking dick”, he said to her, which made her close her eyes and sigh.

“It was a very intense match”.

“Don’t excuse him. There was no reason for him to do that. He wasn't even playing and his team was humiliating us. And when I asked him for an explanation, he just looked at me as if I was supposed to read his mind or something. What an idiot!”

“Yeah, it wasn’t his finest moment”.

Erik’s post-match talk was so brutal for the players but so sad for Lucía. She could tell how much he was hurting after that result and it made her hurt too.

When she finally got the chance, she got out to get some fresh air and saw Rúben getting out of his dressing room as well.

“Hi”.

Hearing her voice, he turned. He shook his head. “Not here”.

#ruben dias #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias fluff #ruben dias fanfic #ruben dias fanfiction #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #footballer fluff #footballer fanfiction

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gretakatharinaa · 5 months

Text

pressure - about male mental health

When I was in sixth grade, the teacher handed out exams we took a week before. Obviously, everyone was nervous about their grade. The boy behind me, a good friend at the time, didn’t pass the test.

I turned around only to see him panicking. "It’s just one grade and it’s the beginning of the school year" I said, hoping he would worry less.

"No, you don’t understand!" He answered, his voice seemingly shaking from panic "I won’t be able to finish school with grades like this!"

"We’re in sixth grade!" I said, surprised by his train of thoughts.

And then, he went on to say something my eleven year old self hadn’t thought yet once:

"No you don’t get it. If I get a bad grade now and I don’t get better, don’t finish school or i finish but with a bad average; I will get a bad job and won’t make enough money. One day I have to feed a whole family, like, four people or something. I can’t do that without money"

When I was in seventh grade, there was this boy in my class. We weren’t that close but did talk to each other from time to time.

One day, I don’t remember why, he came to me crying about some problems he had at home. Nothing too serious but serious enough to make him feel bad.

I consoled him and after a while, he stopped crying. We hugged and he thanked me for being there for him. He paused and said: "Please don’t tell anyone I cried, it’s so embarrassing. The boys will make fun of me if they knew."

As a teenager, i used to visit my grandparents a few times a year. Their neighbors' kids would always come over to my grandparents farm because their dad was an alcoholic and sometimes hard to be around.

"Maybe your dad needs to go to therapy, maybe he needs to talk about stuff" I told them once, while we were feeding the chickens.

The older sister answered: "Our dad doesn’t want to talk about feelings."

Her younger sister bent down to pet a chicken and without even looking at us she chimed in "He never really talks about anything. He just drinks." and she said it like it's the most normal thing in the world.

Male mental health is something rarely talked about. It’s something people experience. The boy feeling the financial pressure of a family 20 years in advance, the boy being too scared to openly cry or the girls feeling abandoned by their dad.

In 2021, 75% of the suicides in Germany were committed by men. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to any of us as I’m sure you’ve all heard that suicide amongst men is extremely high - as opposed to suicide amongst women.

The question is, why is that?

For starters, men chose more lethal and violent means which decreases the amount of attempted self-killings. Most of the time and unfortunately, their methods are successful.

Their communication style is also very different: Men may be less likely to openly express their emotions or seek help, leading to a lack of emotional support.

Further on, there is also this stigma around mental health: Societal expectations and traditional gender roles may discourage men from admitting vulnerability or seeking mental health support.

When it comes to substance abuse (alcohol included!), since there are higher rates among males, there is a great possibility of drugs contributing to an increased risk of suicidal behavior.

In some cases, the men that do seek help (or at least try) often get dismissed, misdiagnosed or go unnoticed by doctors or any professionals due to stereotypes.

It’s interesting, I myself know of girls or women who have gone to the doctor or gyno with problems and were dismissed as overreacting. A few years back, my doctor wouldn’t want to take me in for a breast cancer exam „because the later I know, the better“ ?! When I wanted to quit birth control, my doctor said and I QUOTE: „Ugh, do you know how many girls come crying to me about the side effects of birth control? I mean, are you even aware that you will get pregnant if you stop taking it? Are you ready for that?“

So trust me when I tell you I know what it’s like to not being taken seriously regarding your health. And many men suffer greatly. It’s already hard to work up the courage and be a man in this society that wants to change his mental state, let a lone then being dismissed as „just stressed“ or „not that serious, maybe work out more“.

After that, who would give therapy or and doctor another try? And who could blame men for pulling back on socializing.

Which brings me to my next point: Social isolation is something men are often more prone to, thus resulting in the bottling up of feelings and in some cases, severe drug abuse.

It’s a deep dark rabbit hole.

So, what’s the solution?

As usual, the answer isn’t easy or short.

I think, and this is just my personal opinion, we should start early on:

To avoid the mental load building up over the years, we need to start educating and re-educating about mental health and the expressions of emotions from an early age on.

At school, at home, everywhere. We need to praise kids for carrying out their emotions, not punish them.

We need to force our male friends to talk about the things that bother them and keep a promise of confidentiality, creating a safe space.

We also need better doctors, less stereotypes and of course more equality, but that’s a given.

We need to look left and right, to see if there is someone struggling with their words.

We need to get rid of alcoholic dads and pressured boys.

i really hope to give my son the emotional freedom my male friends didn't have.

#male mental health #mental health #tw sui talk #feelings #emotions

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evsvolunteerstotem · 5 months

Text

Christmas spirit and anticipation

22.12.2023

Ho ho ho!^^

Well, are you in the Christmas spirit yet? At least I can't get enough of it and this year my Christmas mood is accompanied by huge anticipation of my first trip home after 4 months in Plzeň. This is also why I'm writing a few days earlier this time because tomorrow I will be already sitting on the bus on my way home and I can't tell you how excited I am to finally see my family and friends again. :D

In the first months, it was super easy for me to be without them but now after a certain time and especially in the season that –in my opinion- is made for being together with your loved ones, I cannot say that I don't miss them.

Even my hometown which I was so happy to leave back in August has become something that I'm looking forward to. I think the quote "You don't really know how much you miss something until it's gone" definitely fits here but I am totally fine with the fact that it took me the decision to leave my home to fall in love with it again. At the same time Plzeň now even feels like a second home already. I've got a feeling for the city, I have found my favourite cafés, I made new friends who I grew so close with and I've learned the language and therefore already feel like I kind of belong here.

But enough about my current feelings... I'm sure you also want to know more about my last weeks and I can already tell you that it has been a very nice month.

So feel free to read on if you want to know more about my highlights in December…

The month began with a crazy change in weather. December really wanted to live up to its name and so it started to snow sooo much that Bolevec and the rest of the city turned into a little winter wonderland. I really started to get into the spirit, when I crossed the crowded Náměstí Republiky with the smell of freshly made trdelník, mulled wine, and other treats and was captivated by sweet homemade jewelry and figurines, cups, and clothing. At this point, I have to say that it's so hard not to buy anything, but it always helps me to ask myself if I really need another bowl, scarf or candle and the like (spoiler: the honest answer is almost always "no";D).

But of course I had to buy at least something for my family, because I knew that I wouldn’t have much time for that, when I came home (to be precise, just one day haha).

Therefore it was very pleasant for me that there is a really beautiful bookstore in Plzeň that sells -besides Czech and English literature- also very nice German books. And so I was able to leave the shop with a bag full of exciting and interesting literary works. The question I hadn't asked myself yet was how to transport all of them home and I’m still thinking about a good solution for that. ;D

Apart from getting into the Christmas mood this month, I loved meeting friends in cafes or pubs, going to the cinema with Káťa or taking walks through the forest, inhaling the cold fresh air and getting impressed by the beautiful surroundings.

One of my highlights this month so far was definitely that Maren spontaneously visited me for a few days!!! I was very happy to see her again and it felt so real and so surreal at the same time to have her back with me. We enjoyed a long weekend together and I loved how we just jumped into the conversation as if we hadn't even been apart for some time.

She arrived on Thursday in the late afternoon and we met in the city with Carme, a lovely Spanish girl who also lived in Maren's student dormitory. We had a good chat and after that, we said goodbye to Carme because she left only one week later. It was so nice to get to know her and we already set the deal that if we came to Barcelona or she visited some cities in Germany, we would contact each other for sure.

On Friday we went to the Christmas market, ate trdelník with cinnamon, and listened to a very enthusiastic singer on the constructed stage in front of the cathedral, before walking to another little market, where I saw a booth with vinyl records. I bought one typical Czech one for my father with songs by Hana Hegerová and I'm very sure that he will like it. ;D

On Saturday we took a long walk through the forest and then visited the Plzeň Plaza - Not to buy anything, but just to stroll around and to get into the Christmas spirit, before we went to "Coffee Park" where we had the best and most beautiful Coffee in the city so far. In the evening, we made very delicious homemade wraps with hummus, vegetables, tofu and avocado (big recommendation!) and then we just played some funny games for two and ended the day with a little singing session, where we exchanged our favourite sad but also solemn songs together. I enjoyed his evening so much!!

On the next morning, Maren already got up very early to catch her train. So we just said goodbye but promised each other that we would see again soon.<3

This month I also planned a spontaneous trip to Karlovy Vary together with my sister. We met there on Friday afternoon and on our way to the flat, we were so impressed by the really nice architecture, the beautifully decorated buildings, and the countless lights that turned Karlovy Vary into a little Christmas fairytale town. Despite the wonderful scenery, there were fewer tourists than expected, which was extremely pleasant.

The next day we went to the historical museum of the city and it was really interesting to find out more about the origins and further development of Karlovy Vary. Later we hiked – and yes, it really felt like a bit of a hike – up to the Diana Tower. Of course, we could have taken the small train, but my sister and I thought we would manage it quite easily… well, when we got to the top we were actually a bit sweaty. ;D But when we got to the top of the tower the view really made up for the previous effort.

In the evening we went to a typical Czech restaurant and the waiter was very pleasantly surprised when I ordered in Czech and of course, I was also happy to be able to use my gained language skills. After dinner, we visited the cute Christmas market nearby and listened to a singer on stage who performed some Abba hits as well as beautiful Czech songs.

On Sunday, we ate breakfast at "Bagel Lounge" strolled through the city centre, went into some shops, and bought a few cute things, before going to another really nice café called "Lékárna by City Roasters" which means "Pharmacy" by City roasters, where we had really good coffee and chai latte. Then I brought my sister to the train station and it really felt a bit weird, when waving her goodbye but at the same time, I knew, that we would see each other again in less than a week. So I happily drove back to Plzeň, looking forward to seeing my family and friends again soon. <3

My highlight at work this month was definitely the Pub quiz on the 11th of December. I joined the team for TOTEM and in the beginning we were very weak and made the last place after two rounds but then it turned completely and we were able to get almost every question correctly. Even though we didn't make the first place in the end it was a very funny evening and I was impressed how well Martin organized this whole event. So you will see me at the next "Quizuj" in February for sure. ;D

I also really enjoyed the last conversations in the week before Christmas. I prepared some games that the seniors were very ambitious about playing while singing and listening to some nice Christmas songs and eating many (... like maaaaaaany) snacks. I was so happy when I saw how much fun everyone had and overwhelmed as I even received some presents from them. I am so excited to see everyone including my colleagues again next year and it definitely feels weird to leave Plzeň now for the first longer time but I'm sure that the time will fly and before I bat an eyelash, I'm back here again... ;D

The first snow at the Kamenný rybník :D

Spontaneous photo with Tatiana in the “Schována kavárna” <3

Our cute Christmas market on the Náměstí Republiky

Last photo with Carme before saying goodbye…

The best coffee a “Coffee Park” with beautiful Latte art!

The view from our apartment in Karlovy Vary

At the top of the Diana Tower with my sis <3

The wonderfully glowing buildings in Karlovy Vary

Beautiful sky above the Diana Tower

I'm looking forward now to having some holidays and then will be back with new energy at the beginning of next year.

Have a great time with your family and friends and all your loved ones and don't forget to tell them how much you love them, because this is worth so much more than any present.

Stay safe and see you again in 2024. ;D Brzy se uvidíme! Laila

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missdollytheog · 6 months

Text

Dream of Me

Word Counts: 6K

Note: I wrote this story to post on Halloween on the other app. Thought I'd share on here..

Contains paranormal and smutty scenes.

~ Hannah~

"10 more sleeps" His deep alluring husky voice breaks through the phone as soon as his handsome face showed on the screen.

"10 more sleeps" I replied with a shyly grin. I can’t wait to see him again. It's been 4 months since I last saw him, since he asked for my number. Everyday since then, we’ve been video calling until silly o’clock because neither of us wants to put our phone down first. At the age of almost 30, I couldn’t believe it would take him to make me feel like a teenager once again.

Living in a small town where I grow up, we know everybody in town. Safe to say, this has limited my dating life. I either know them from school or know of their reputations, all the great guys have already settled and have families of their own. Aiden is different, we went to school together but I would never be in his radar. He was one of the most popular guys in town; charming and outgoing. All the girls wanted to be his and all the boys wanted to be him. He moved away after college and work in Germany. He visited his family occasionally but again we’ve never hung out, I was never in his friends circle. Not until he showed up in June to one of my friend’s 30th birthday. He found me sitting in the corner and we began to talk. The rest is a history.

"Will you let me kiss you at the airport?" He asked seductively. My face turned 10 shades redder at his bluntness. Aiden lets out a throaty chuckle. As much as I would love it more than anything, I’m not as outgoing or outspoken as he is. I’ve never was and I will never be.

I timidly answer him, "We will just have to wait and see, big boy"

That answer caused a loud chortle from him, I grin at his pearly white smile.

"I’ll take that" He replied.

"Do you want to go to bed?" I asked as he yawned for the 3rd time tonight.

Aiden shook his head slowly before he replies, "I’m already in bed, sweetheart. It’s a bit of a shame that you are not here next to me.. "

This man and those gorgeous blue eyes, he has ignited fire inside of me. I have never been turned on this much in my life. I never thought he would be the one who makes me feel this way. He is totally out of my league.

" I wish I was there, too" I mumbled quietly.

" It won’t be long until I come back. Once I’m there, I’ll not leave you again" he declared.

I beam at his statement, responded to him "and I can’t wait".

Aiden lets out a big yawn which causes a chuckle from me "Go to bed, Aiden.. I’ll talk to you tomorrow"

Aiden gives me one last exhausted smile before bidding me his signature goodnight. " Alright, Hannah. Dream of me, would ya?".

Adding a sinful boyish grin after that, he is so cheesy but I love it. I find it endearing and refreshing

"Sweet dream, Aiden" I said before ending our facetime session.

~ Aiden ~

7 more days until I see the love of my life, my Hannah. I don’t know how on earth she is single, she’s drop dead gorgeous, she always has been; since high school even. I always fancied her but I never had a gut to talk to her. She was always compose and so elegant, she wouldn’t bat an eyelid for a guy like me. I would like to think that fate brought us together, so when I saw her sitting on her own back in June I knew I couldn’t miss a chance. She is amazing, out of this world extraordinary.

I can’t wait to hold her in my arms and be with her for the rest of my life.

Just one more week...

I get up and get ready for the day, there are boxes scattering around my flat. I start packing my life up. My contract comes to an end and it couldn’t be at any perfect timing. I can’t wait to go home. It’s been 12 years since I left.

I check myself in the mirror one last time before taking my keys and leave the flat.

The traffic isn’t as bad in Frankfurt this morning, I couldn’t stop smiling at our conversation last night. Hannah and I planned our first date and I’m beyond excited for it. The more I think about it, the more I want to finish work early and go to surprise her.

I’m driving on the motorway when I noticed something strange happening. There was a built up traffic ahead of me. I switch onto the middle lane when something unexpected happens, the lorry in front of me starts reversing at full speed. I'm panicking and beeping my horn letting them know that I’m coming behind them. My hazard light is on, informing the car behind me to slow down. The lanes beside me are filled up with cars. I keep beeping my horn and so do the other cars around me but the lorry doesn’t seem to stop. I look around and I could see panicked faces on other drivers.

" Fùck!! " I shouted.

I check the rear mirror quickly, trying to see whether I could reverse and buy myself more time. The cars on the left lanes are moving, creating a small gap for my car.

The gap that still isn’t big enough.

"Hurry up!!" I mumble, my heart rate is going million miles per hours. Sweat forms on my forehead, my hands holding the steering wheel tight; my knuckles are white, I couldn’t feel anything. My mouth feels dry from anticipating, legs shaking. I’m biting my bottom lip, debating what to do in this 5 seconds I have. Just as I decide to change the gear and reverse my car, I could feel a massive impact coming from the bonnet, causing a huge whiplash through my whole body. An air bag is activated, hitting me right in my face. My head hurts, everything seems blurred.

Everything but her face, my Hannah. She smiles bright at me before everything turns into darkness.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

~ Hannah ~

6 days...

6 days since I last heard his voice

6 days since I last saw his face on the screen

6 days since I last received his text..

How could I have such a strong connection with someone I only talk for 4 months; someone as amazing as Aiden.

A wonderful man whose life was taken away, way too soon.

My tears run down my face as I look through the long thread of messages that we communicated, the photos we exchanged, those gorgeous smile, his goofy face, his sweet words..

"7 more day until I meet you again, my Hannah xxx"

That was the last text he sent to me, yes I was his and he is mine.

My Aiden

The distance was the only thing that separated us apart, not our love – nor our souls.

I’m wailing at my loss; the loss of an opportunity to spend my life with the man I love.

I’m screaming angrily at fate, why couldn’t I have more time with him.

I yearn for his touch, his kisses, his embrace and his scent.

I miss looking into those gorgeous blue eyes, I miss him..

I was supposed to pick him up from the airport tomorrow, I was supposed to launch myself in his arms and wrap my legs around his torso, letting his delicious lips kiss mine for the very first time.

I won’t have that now

The only thing I have left is the emptiness in my heart.. How can I move on from here..

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

3 days has passed and I still don’t feel like myself! Since I received a call from his mum about his passing 10 days ago, something inside of my has gone with Aiden – my heart.

I’ve been working on autopilot, I didn’t want to do anything else but to force myself to have normal days at work and come home. My friends did try to comfort me but I’m still mourning.

I couldn’t help myself but to think what tomorrow would be like if he was still here on our first date.

I read our texts again, smiling at how enthusiastic he was at planning our date – what an awesome day it would have been.

I go to bed after another sorrowful session, I really need to get myself together. I need to move forward.

But how??

I’m still longing for him.

I get myself ready for bed trying to massage my swollen eyes. It will hard to wake up tomorrow, knowing that there won’t be a date for me to go to.

Surprisingly, sleep comes easy for me tonight – almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.

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*** knock knock knock***

I stir as I hear the fainted noise at the door. Ray of sunshine peaks through the gap of my curtain. I don’t want to check the time, curling myself under the duvet.

If it’s Amazon delivery, they would leave it behind the bin as per usual. I thought to myself, pulling a duvet closer to my body and try to go back to sleep.

*** ding dong ****

My house door rings, following by another set of knocking.

I lazily reach for my phone to check the time.

" 7:30?? What could that be??" I groaned.

I give myself a long stretch before rolling off my bed. Putting on my slippers, still in my pyjamas with a nest of my hair on my head. Whoever that is on the other side of the door will run miles as soon as they see me.

I let out a big yawn and rub my eyes, finally grabbing the door knob and give it a twist.

As the door opened, I’m met with a big stunning autumn bouquet. Although I’m in awe with the arrangement of the flowers, that’s not what surprises me.

A familiar goofy face pokes to the side of the bouquet left me awestruck.

This is preposterous!!

My mouth must have hit the floor, my heart skips a bit – actually I think it’s stop beating.

That’s probably the only way I could see this, I mean HIM right now.

My brain eventually sends order to close my wide mouth and blink for the first time. He’s still holding the bouquet and giving me a charming grin.

Aiden: Are you ready for our date, my Hannah?

I blink rapidly, still not processing what is in front of me

"H..H..How?? I thought you were.. " I'm unable to form a full sentence as my brain is still trying to make sense of the situation.

"I'm coming to pick my lady up for a date?? Can I come in, please? It’s a bit wet out here" He exclaimed nonchalantly.

I’m still dumbfounded but moving aside to let him in. He hands me the bouquet and give me a kiss on my cheek. He feels warm.

What’s the hell is happening??!!!

Aiden takes off his jacket, leaving him with a while t-shirt and jeans. Some of his tattoos can be seen, the tattoos I’ve never thought I would find appealing.

" I’m sorry to wake you up early but I don’t want to lose any more time with you. And as you know, we have quite a jam packed first date, haven’t we?" He stated playfully.

I still don’t know what to say, I fear that if I say something wrong, he would varnish into thin air.

I simply nod, Aiden amusingly chuckles.

"I’ll make us some coffee, would you like to get ready? Hopefully, by the time you’re ready, the rain will stop then." He advised.

"OK"

OK?? That’s all I could say??? Just great!

"chop chop, gorgeous! Time is ticking.." He said playfully, marching towards me and pushing me along the hallway back to my room.

I’m now sitting on my bed, still not quite sure what’s going on. The kettle is on and he’s still here. I just got up and check to make sure.

I've lost my mind! That's the only explanation.

I've gone crazy and I'm hallucinating a ghost. A gorgeous drama ghost.

I decide at that moment that I'm OK with losing my mind, if it means I get him.

I rush straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth and have a quick shower in record time. Putting a light make up on and throw whatever I could grab from the wardrobe over me. I quickly brush my hair and check myself in the mirror for one last time before leaving my bedroom.

I hope he’s still here.

I slowly stalk to the kitchen and sigh in relief when I see Aiden still there. He turns around, giving me a boyish grin as soon as he sees me.

"You look gorgeous" he said in a dreamy voice.

I tuck my hair behind my ear, smile shyly at him before answering "Thank you.", walking about to grab my cup of coffee. I sip a bitterly smooth liquid, still keeping my gaze on him. Aiden's face is soften.

"Don’t look at me like that.. " He groaned

"like what?" I countered.

"Like you want me to kiss you.." He teased, quirking one of his eyebrows up.

I avert my gaze back to the coffee in my hands, trying to suppress my smile but I couldn’t. I mumble quietly "Not that I’m stopping you to.. "

Aiden lets out a loud chortle after hearing what I said. He comes to wrap his arms around my waist, I look up at his bright blue eyes that show nothing but love. My tears well up again.. I need to hold it together..

Whatever that this is, I can’t ruin it.

Aiden grazes his finger along my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. He leans closer to me, my breathing is laboured.

"You will have to wait a bit longer sweetheart. We’ve got somewhere to go." He whispered with a soft chuckle. I let out a long breath that I’ve been holding.

"Lead the way then", I whimpered.

Aiden holds his hand out, I happily take it. We both smile at each other, ready for our date.

We spent our day as we planned, brunch at our favourite restaurant in town before driving further afield for pumpkins picking. His hand never leaves mine through the journey, I feel safe and comfort around him. Our date filled with laughters, my cheeks hurt from smiling too much.

"So lucky that we didn’t get caught in the rain" I said once we got inside my house.

"Yeah.. and we’ve got these pumpkins to carve now" He raised 2 medium size pumpkins we picked.

"that we do.. " I answered

"Let’s make your first pumpkins carving session memorable" He said with a grin.

We start cutting the pumpkin lids, then race with each other to see who scoop out the guts the fastest. Of course, Aiden uses his charm to distract me and win the race. We stop half way to make pumpkin soup using the meat we scooped out. Then back to carving the pumpkins. It feels very nostalgic and I’m loving every minutes of it. Aiden is caring and very protective, he often checks on me to make sure I am OK with the carving and that I’m not sliding my fingers off.

I couldn’t help myself but feel all fluttered every time he’s near. He definitely has patience of a Saint, I’m not sure how he hasn’t kissed me yet. I don’t want to sound desperate but I really need to feel his lips on mine right now.

I’m feeling bold and mischievous, he’s certainly brought a naughty side out of me. Glancing over to Aiden, he pokes his tongue out looking so concentrate that what he’s doing. I’m pretending to hurt myself and quickly draw my hand back, holding it against my chest.

I pry my eyes over to him but he looks nonchalant, still concentrate on that pumpkin in front of him.

"Ouch" I let out a fake hiss and that did the trick. Aiden drops his carving knife instantly and comes to my side, looking all worried. He places his hands on my hip and leans down to me.

"Are you OK? Did you hurt yourself?" His voice is laced with concern. I’m trying to hold my smile but I’m not very good at this.

"Nothing a kiss can’t help" I whispered.

I glance up to him, trying to compose myself.

He could see through my and my bullshìt straightaway, he smirks.

"Oh my Hannah.. I thought you could wait until after dinner"

"Can’t I have a sample first? Just to make sure I brought back the right product." I counter, Aiden lets out a throaty chuckle. His hands move to my lower back, bringing me closer to him. His throbbing length rubs against my thighs.

I’m definitely in heaven!

If our close proximity could make me feel this good, I don’t know how I would feel when we kiss.. or even do more..

I flick my tongue over my lips, Aiden’s eyes follow every movements of it. He leans closer, his lips almost touch mine. I’m holding my breath, hypnotised my those blue orbs.

"You will want more after having a taste of the sample" He said seductively, now my eyes his tongue that is gliding around the bottom of his lip.

Damn, I could feel wetness in my pants and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

I’m really in trouble.

Not to mention that I’m having a conversation with a ghost.

A very sexy one.

I’m definitely out of my mind.

I bravely rake my manicure finger over the outline of his muscular chest, leaning in just a little closer to his lips. The tension is electrifying, it’s almost unbearable.

"There’s only one way to find o-"

Before I could even finish the sentence, I feel my legs were being lift off the floor, my back is now rubbed against the fridge freezer. His lips are capturing mine in a breathtakingly phenomenon kiss. He’s taken my breath away.. Literally.

And all my senses

I’ve never been kissed like this before; it’s gentle but yet powerful. It’s not aggressive but I’m under his control – under his spell.

I open my mouth slightly, eagerly waiting for his tongue to greet mine. Aiden hand sneaks inside my skirt, his forefinger rubs my wet core over my pants. I let out a soft moan which is engulfed by the searing kiss.

His expert finger moves my pants to the side before finding its way back to where I need it the most. Aiden pulls away from the kiss, biting my bottom lip. He presses his finger hard on my needy hole, grunting as he says, "You’re so fùcking wet for me already."

He glides his nose along my neck, inhaling my scent. His thumb finds my clit as he’s insert the finger inside me.

"Oh myyyyyy" My eyes roll to the back of my head, lifting my leg up allowing him to go deeper. Adrian supports it with his free hand.

"So fùcking tight" He grunts, inserting a second finger in and thrusting hard. I’m unable to form a word. I grab his face and pulls in for a fiercely kiss. Aiden uses this opportunity to insert a third finger and thrusting relentlessly. My legs are now shaking, I wouldn’t be able to stand up right if it wasn’t because of his strong arm.

"Fùck.. " I pull from our kiss, panting at the blissful feeling he is giving me, leaning my head against the fridge. Aiden kisses along my neck and suck hard at my collarbone.

"I’m going to cum.." I warned him.

That statement is like a fuel to the fire, Aiden starts kissing up my neck whilst continuing to pump his fingers fast and hard inside of me. He bites my earlobe before commanding me, "Cum for me, baby"

I tilt my head back and met with a stunning face in front of me, he gives me another long hot kiss before the orgasm hits me. The kiss prolongs my euphoric phrase, I’ve never had a pleasure from sex like what Aiden has given me with just his hand. His kiss turns much gentler when he knows I’m coming down from my high.

Still panting softly, I mumble " Wow.."

"That was.. " Aiden whispered in my ear.

"One hell of a kiss" I finished the sentence off.

Aiden’s head flops onto my shoulder, we chuckle at my declaration. He eventually removes his hand from my pùssy; the hand that is covered with my juice. Heat rushes to my face and so does my self consciousness. I cover my cheeks with my hands, looking embarrassed.

"Oh gosh.. I’m sorry.. Let’s get you clean up." I said hurrily.

Aiden grins before licking his palm and sucking on his fingers, his eyes are on mine. I’m swallowing hard, my horny level pings right up. He is so sinful.

"So sweet", he affirms with a sultry smirk. He leans closer to kiss me on my nose

"I can’t wait to taste it again later, he added with a playful chuckle. I lower my gaze and gently hit him on his chest.

I rolled my eyes and replied, "Who said I’ll let you"

"Oh I know you will" He winks before turning around and saunter to the sink to watch his hands. He goes back to the carving station and continue to create a masterpiece with his skillful hand – like he didn’t just give me the best orgasm of my life 2 minutes ago.

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We spent our fun filled day enjoying each other’s company, having stolen kisses here and there, now we had our first kiss out the way. I copped a feel his firm biceps more than I needed to, though Aiden didn’t seem to mind as he smacked my peaches in return. We enjoyed our homemade dinner and dessert before snuggled up on the sofa watching scary movies. It turned out to be quite a comedy to Aiden since he chuckled every time I covered my eyes with my hands and laughed whenever I screamed through the tiny gaps between my fingers.

Looking over at the clock, it’s almost midnight. My mood suddenly turns somber, I don’t want this moment to end.

Wait a minute!

He’s a ghost not Cinderella, I don’t think he will disappear at midnight..

Will he?

Aiden tightens his embrace, drawing my attention back to him

"You OK?", he checked in.

I lean my head against his chest, nodding slowly. "Mhmmm.. Today has been perfect"

"I have to agree with you", he said before lightly kiss on the top of my head.

I snuggle closer to him, absorbing his scent. If this is the only chance I get to spend with him, I’m not going to waste any seconds of it. As I inhale his addictive aftershave, my tears gather on my waterline, I’m biting my lips trying not to weep. Sadness and fear of losing him again are over taking all my emotions.

I’m not ready to let him go..

I take a labouring breath, Aiden strokes my hair as he senses the change in my body language.

"hey hey hey.. What’s the matter?" Aiden asked caringly. He tried to tilt my chin up but I dug my face onto his chest. I don’t want him to think I’m being silly. I don’t even want to bring it up. I’m not even sure if he knows he’s dead.

I watched and heard enough paranormal stories where spirits didn’t realise that they left the human body and were stuck in “the in between” after life due to their “unfinished businesses” or they refuse to cross over to the other side. Coups this be in Aiden’s case? Am I his unfinished business?

As my mind wonders, Aiden is still holding me tight and stroking my hair. He places another long soft kiss on my head before whispering "I’m here, Hannah.. I’m here"

I blink the tears that have been threatening to come out before looking up to him - his eyes glistened. I lean up to place a kiss on his lips, begging him with all I have.

"Stay with me" I whispered into his lips. He gave me a loving smile.

"You don’t have to ask me twice", he said before his delicious lips find mine again. This kiss is different to our first kiss; it’s slow ans sensual, as if he wants us to savour every seconds of it. I don’t know how long we’ve been kissing but when he pull away, my lips feel numb.

"I love you" I beam at his declaration, I respond almost instantly "I love you, too"

It is Aiden’s turns to grin from ear to ear.

We stay snuggled on the sofa watching the rest of the scary movie. At one point, I fall asleep in his comforting arm.

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Am I floating in the air??

Am I laying on the cloud??

I feel weightless and relaxed – in his arms.

My eyes are still closed but I could feel Aiden’s strong pair of arms carrying me from the living room and places me gently on my bed.. I stir, slowly opening my eyes, watching him stripping his clothes off. For the first time, I see what’s hiding underneath the layers, in person. I’m gulping at his hotter than lava muscular body, his sleeves of tattoos, his tousled hair, his trimmed beard, his black underwear and his ribbed jeans.

No one..

I mean NO ONE should allow to look this stunning.

I use my elbows to push against the mattress, supporting my upper body. Drawing my feet closer to my bottom, legs spreading automatically.

I am unashamedly checking him out. Aiden can feel my burning gaze, he turns his head straight to face me, giving me a confident smirk.

"You like what you’re seeing so far?" He said, quirking his eyebrow up. I bite my bottom lip and nod. There gone a shy woman I was. Aiden pushes his jeans down as he slowly saunters towards the bed where I’m all ready for him. Though I’m still fully clothed, I’m sure he will remove every items of my body in no time.

The bed dipped as soon as his knee is on the mattress, my heart rates pick up by 50 beats per minutes, heat rushes through my body, goosebumps prickle my skin. I’m awaken in all senses.

Aiden smirks at how enthusiastic I look. He teasingly crawl to me slowly, I almost squirm from anticipation, bringing my knees together. Aiden lets out a throaty chuckle.

"Don’t worry about me, just take your time" I said playfully, causing him to shake his head.

"I promise I’ll make it really worth your while" He said, I lick my lip before replying "Oh I know..."

At last, he reaches the first barrier; my knees. With his penalising gaze on mine, he use one hand to gently pushing them apart, dropping kisses along my thigh. My breath hitched, head tilt back, my pant is soaked.

"Mhmmmmmmm" I let out a soft moan.

He slowly moves in between the gap, his hand snakes up under my dress all the way up to my stomach. I lift my head up, observing him. His hand moves up my body, causing me to pant, his other hand rubs my wet core over my underwear but it’s soon replaced with the harden cock that’s restrained in his black boxer.

"Can you feel what you’ve done to me?" He asked.

I’m in bliss – unable to speak, so I reply in a nod. Somehow his hand travels to my back and manages to unhook my bra.

"I think it’s time for this to come off" He said in commanding tone, his other hand tugs the hem on my dress. I sit up and lift my bum, allowing him to remove the thin fabric. Aiden delicately removes my dress and take off my bra. We are both only have our pants protecting us from nakedness. He rubs my pùssy through the pant causing my eyes to roll back in pleasure. He takes his opportunity to lick my neck from the base up to my chin before whispering in my ear. "I think this one needs to come off as well"

He plays with the elasticated band.

I boldly grab his cock and squeeze it gently before countering him, " I’ll take mine off if you take yours off.."

I add a soft bite on his earlobe, he groans before moving back and slowly push his tight boxer down, releasing a long girthy monster underneath it.

That’s definitely bigger than those 3 fingers he put inside of me earlier. I’m feeling apprehensive at the size of it. I haven’t had any encounters for a while and even when I had them, none of the men I’ve been with could compare to THAT. I take another big gulp.

Aiden gives me another toothy grin before asking me seductively, "Do you need a hand taking that off?"

"If you must" I countered sassily.

He chuckles but moving closer and quickly remove the last fabric off my skin. I would normally feel very self conscious about being fully naked in front of a man. However, by the look on Aiden’s face, I feel more confident, more beautiful, more loved.

"Masterpiece" He said confidently.

I smile, feeling empowered

"So are you"

I lay back on the mattress watching him appreciate every inches of me.

"Are you going to keep staring or doing something with it?"I asked cheekily, Aiden lets out a loud chortle

"I didn’t realise the love of my life is so bossy in bed", he replied seductively.

"I don’t normally but you makes me feel different", I answered him.

"Good different I hope?" He asked

"The best" I confirmed with a soft smile.

Aiden crawl closer to me, closing all the gap. His body is on top of mine, his elbows are on the side supporting his weight off. I could feel the tip of his penis rubbing against my soaking pùssy. My whole body feels electrified at the contact. I reach my arm to wrap around his neck, lifting my head up to give him a long passionate kiss.

The kiss to let him know how much I want him to still be in my life.

Aiden reciprocate it, support my neck with his right hand whilst his left hand massaging my right breast. My legs automatically spread wider, hip bucking up rubbing against the tip of his cock.

Aiden reluctantly moves his lips away "We have all night, my love.. Let’s me worship every inches of you first.."

He pecks my lips quickly before moving them along my neck, greeting and sucking both my nipples. He licks and nibble along my torso and stop on top of my shaved mound. My hand grips his hair for dear life, pushing his head downwards; encouraging him to be where I need him. Aiden obliged and soon his lips are on my lower lips

"Ahhhhhhh... Yes..."

My moan was all he needed, his tongue is working magic on my labia whilst his whole mouth sucking my vulva. I could feel my orgasm approaching already but I’m biting my lips to delay it. I could help but let out a loud moan and tighten my grip on his hair, somehow it only encourage him to delving into my pussy, his thumb is now playing with him clit, heighten my ecstasy.

"Yesss Aiden.. Just ...right.. there.." I screamed, encouraging him even more.

My legs start to shake, I’m rocking my hip in synchronisation with his sucking. I’m chasing my second orgasm of the day and I know it will be here soon.

Aiden thrusts his tongue inside of me and twirls it in an O shape. His thumb and index fingers pinching my clit roughly, my knees closed and hips buck up off the mattress putting him in a headlock position but Aiden doesn’t seem to bother about it. Still working relentlessly with his masterclass tongue, taking me closer to paradise...

"I’m coming .. I’m coming ..." I said, panting heavily. Aiden hums in approval, the vibration of his hum sent me wild. I release my juice straight on his tongue. As I’m coming down from my orgasm, I could still feel him lapping every drops of my nectar. My hand rakes his hair lazily.

Once he’s fully fed, Aiden pokes his head up between my legs, giving me a boyish grin. I can still see the remain of my cum on his short beard. I use my hand to wipe it off.

"Come here.." I demanded him lazily, Aiden swiftly moves up my body, giving me a searing kiss. I can taste myself on his tongue.

Stroking his cock as we kiss, I pull away briefly to whisper to him, "Now, it’s my turn"

Aiden shakes his head

"Tonight isn’t about me, my love.. It’s all about you" He said before inserting 2 fingers inside of me, I let out an unexpected moan..

"That’s it baby.. Let’s see how many time I could make you come before we make love.. "

My answer to that?? I lost count..

He make me cum with his fingers.. twice? Then with his tongue again.. and then with the combination of tongue and fingers.. I feel dizzy by the time he removes his fingers out of me. I’m a sweaty mess melting into the mattress. My hair is messy, the bed is wet, the duvet is nowhere to He seen. Pillow? Probably somewhere by my side as I remember using it to muffle the sound of my screams.

I am relaxed and sated.

Aiden still looks as gorgeous and his eyes still shows nothing but love an adoration when he looks at me. His hand gathers my stray hair and moves it away from my face. He kiss me gently whilst thrusting his cock inside of me for the first time.

We both moan in unison. I feel completed

"I love you" He whispered into my lips to which I whispered back, "I love you, too"

Aiden’s loving gaze has never left mine throughout our intimate love making session. It’s nothing like what I imagined our first time would be like. I thought it would be rough and playful.

Not this..

This is what I’ve always dreamed of no rushing, no dirty talking, no barriers.. Just two connected souls expressing love in a special way. We kiss, we moan, we pant, we groan. We let out movements communicate with each other.

Our bond is stronger than anything.

I couldn’t help myself but letting the tears fall, I’m overwhelming with the love I have for this very man.

The man of my dream; the one that got away.

The man I had been waiting for all my life but sadly I wouldn’t be able to spend the rest of it with him..

My Aiden..

My body is shaking from both infelicity and delirium. With every thrusts he does, Aiden is bringing us closer to nirvana. The place I want to be with him, for eternity.

How could I move on from this?

How could I open myself again?

I wouldn’t be able to find anyone as great as him.

Aiden picks up a pace letting me know that he’s getting close, I’m holding him closer to be, raking my finger nails on his back. My face is on his neck, kissing him with all my might..

"Cum with me, my Aiden" With that said and a couple more thrusts, we both reach Utopia.

Aiden plants soft kisses on my face and along my neck. My eyes feel heavy but I’m trying to force them open. I don’t want to lose him.

I feel Aiden got out of the bed and comes back with a duvet. He put it over me and places another kiss on my forehead. I gather all my strength to grab his wrist before he walks away.

"Please don’t go" I begged him with a tearful eyes. Aiden drops onto my side and stroking my hair. He whispers, "I will always be with you, my love"

He kisses me on the lips one last time before everything turns dark.

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*** knock knock knock***

I jerk up at the fainted knocks on the door. I’m still in the pjs I wore from last night. Although my bed is definitely messy than usual and one of the pillows is by my side. I suddenly feel miserable, I didn’t want that to be just a dream..

*** ding dong ****

My house door rings, following by another set of knocking.

I eagerly reach for my phone to check the time.

7:30?? It can’t be!!

I feel rush of adrenaline seeps through my body, quickly I jump out of bed, putting my slippers on and sprint to the front door.

I open my door and is shocked to see the exact autumn bouquet from my dream presented in front of me.

Disappointment follows as the person holding the bouquet isn’t who I had wished.

"Ms Hannah White?" The delivery guy asked.

I clear my throat before nodding "Yes, that’s me"

The man hands me a stunning bouquet before explaining, " I’m very sorry to wake you up this early. We received this order two weeks ago with a very strict instruction to deliver it no later than 8 o’clock "

I chuckle softly at this statement. Aiden was supposed to pick me up at 8 o’clock

"Thank you", I said before taking the bouquet off his hand.

"Would you mind to sign the receipt, please?" He asked politely, hanging me a piece of paper.

Once I signed, the man wished me a good day and walked back to his bike.

I closer the front door, appreciating a very well arranged of autumn flowers. There’s a card attached to the bouquet so I take it out and open.

I weep as soon as I see what has been printed on it.

“My Dear Hannah,

The day is finally here, when you no longer have to dream of me.

I can’t wait to see you later and start spending the rest of my life with you.

(I hope I didn’t turn up before the delivery 😅)

I love you, I love you, I love you!!

Can’t wait to say this to you in person..

Your Aiden x”

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What you do think?? I have more to come if you like it.. If not, I'll keep posting in my normal app 😅😅

#autumn #fanfic #short story #smut #so hot 🔥🔥🔥#hot as fuck #novel writing #angelo carlucci #marion pascale #ghost stories #love story #paranormal #halloween #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writers and poets

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kittyprincessofcats · 2 years

Text

A life update

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, but I’ve been really busy since moving is busy, but yeah - here’s a life update from my new flat - and a bit of a rant at Germany’s whole... system

Though first, a question for any Germans reading this: How does one go about getting a Berufsunfähikeitsversicherung despite very likely having depression and wanting to start therapy for it soon? (Or is the answer just “lol, forget it”?)

So yeah, life-update under the cut :)

So, I recently (middle of August, actually) finally moved out of my toxic parents’ house and now I live in Berlin (AKA on the other side of the country, six hours away from my parents by car) - HELL YES (but also “hell no”, because now my sisters can’t just visit whenever they want :( )

(That’s why I haven’t been online much - there was a lot to do in my new flat, lots of things to buy, lots of furniture to assemble, I still have one big box to unpack, you get the idea.)

And while I’ve been feeling great about being away from my parents (and almost to my own surprise, I don’t really miss them?), a lot of things have also been really hard. I’m trying to at least temporarily cut my parents off (I’ve phoned them on their respective birthdays and texted them once to tell them I need distance; I didn’t give them my new address either), so I don’t really have “proper adults” to ask for advice about things, except for colleagues. (And gosh, I’m so grateful to all my friends and colleagues who helped me move and helped me settle in here, I’d have never been able to do this without them!)

The hardest thing is that I really miss my sisters. Like, so much, despite talking to them on the phone and having videocalls regularly. I don’t really have friends or family here, so I’ve been lonely.

And since I moved here, both my mental and physical health have been getting worse (to my own surprise - I will admit that I was doing that whole “idealist” thing where I was imagining my perfect life away from my parents and I was telling myself that as soon as I’m away from them I’ll be happy and all my mental and physical health problems will get better. 🙄 Like, I knew they wouldn’t magically disappear overnight, but I thought they would at least get better, not worse.)

But yeah, pretty much the moment I moved out, my digestion problems became way worse. (Yes, I am seeing a doctor about that now.) And my mental health went on a downward spiral as well to the point where if I previously suspected I had depression, I’m now pretty sure I do - I’m basically feeling “numb” and hopeless and lonely at lot more often (which, like I said, suprised me, because I thought being away from my parents and starting my own life would make it better, not worse).

But yeah, obviously cutting people off isn’t mentally easy either, the separation from my sisters (and the guilt for not being able to take them with me which I can’t quite shake off) has been hard, and now that I’m finally independent, have my own income and my own safe space, it’s like I’m finally allowed to feel all the mental issues I was trying to supress earlier. It’s like I’ve been holding it together for all this time, and now I finally don’t have to anymore and... yeah, I’m just noticing that I’m completely mentally exhausted - which is sad, because this is supposed to be an exciting new beginning, but yeah :/

(And I guess it might also be because finally moving away and cutting most contact, finally doing what I said I’d do if they don’t get over their homophobic, transphobic selves, has made the whole thing feel... real. The fact that I’ve given up on them and on the relationship we used to have, that something’s permanently broken there that can’t be easily fixed anymore, the fact that now we might never go back to how things used to be, that things won’t be the same anymore even if they do change and apologize at some point - that has all started to feel like a reality now and I guess that’s just... tough to face.)

And then there’s of course still a lot of paperwork “adulting” stuff to take care of. Yesterday I had an appointment with my bank consultant who’s helping me set up insurances, and beyond the essential ones (liability and household), she recommended a (long German compound word incoming, lol) “Berufsunfähigkeitsversicherung” (income protection insurance). We talked it over, but when I asked how/if that’d work if I’m planning to start therapy for potential depression soon, her face just fell and she told me that’d be an immediate KO, because as mental health issues are the No1 cause for not being able to work, no insurance company would accept me with that as a preexisting condition.

(I asked if that means I should wait with seeing a therapist until I’ve got the whole insurance thing in the bag, and she was really hesitant to answer that, before telling me that she can’t say “yes” to that, because that’d be like telling me not to get help for mental health stuff if I need it. And yeah, completely fair, but... can we talk about how messed up this system is?? This is why people pretend they’re mentally fine when they’re not.)

And like.. Can we also talk about how freaking messed up it is that this country just doesn’t support young people financially in any way?? Like... I graduated from university right before the pandemic hit. Then I couldn’t get a job for two years because there was a pandemic going on and no one was hiring. I also couldn’t apply for ALG (unemployment benefits) because you can’t get that if you’ve never worked anywhere yet. So I had no options except for staying with my parents (who were homophobic to me and transphobic to my sister) for two pandemic-years with nothing to do (because pandemic), nowhere to go (because pandemic), and no way to get out of there (because young person who’s never worked anywhere yet and has no income). OF FUCKING COURSE that made me depressed, what did anyone seriously expect ?!?!?!

And when I finally got a job I like, found a flat I like and can afford (which I did in only a week while staying here for my company’s summer party; I’m told that’s some sort of record for finding a place to stay in Berlin :D), moved away from my parents and am FINALLY starting my own life on my own two feet, I’m told that in case I ever get seriously sick to the point where I can’t work anymore: 1. the state wouldn’t support me finacially long-term because in order to qualify for that support you need to have worked somewhere for at least 3 years first, and 2. I likely won’t be be able to get insurance for a case like that either because I’m too depressed for that. (Hello?? Being stuck with my parents because I had zero other finacial options is the reason for the depression. I tried to find ways to get out of there, but what’s a young person who’s never worked anywhere to do??? WHAT???)

(But also, I’ve read somewhere on the internet that insurance might still be possible if you’re “only” getting psychological treatment to help cope with traumatic events (so, something that’s considered temporary rather than an ongoing mental health condition), so maybe the whole situation with my parents might qualify as that rather than “proper” depression?? I honestly have no idea.)

So yeah, that’s the life-update and angry rant at how Germany’s system is just leaving young people on their own.

Questions to any Germans who actually read all of this: Habt ihr Erfahrung mit Berufsunfähigkeitsversicherungen? Braucht man sowas unbedingt? (Wäre eigentlich ja schon gut...) Kann man die wirklich gar nicht abschließen, wenn man gerade in Therapie geht? Kann man sich dann vielleicht wenigstens gegen alle “körperlichen” Krankheiten versichern lassen? Fände es jetzt schon blöd, wenn ich mich z.B. nicht für den Fall, dass ich Krebs oder so bekommen sollte versichern kann, nur weil ich gerade etwas depressiv bin. Und würdet ihr mir raten, trotzdem schon mal einen Therapieplatz zu suchen? Oder echt zu warten, bis das mit der Versicherung erledigt ist? (Oder ist das dann, wenn ich direkt danach einen Therapieplatz suche so, als hätte ich die Versicherer angelogen, weil ich es ja eigentlich davor schon wusste?) Hat da vielleicht jemand von euch Erfahrung oder kennt sich aus?

#personal #life update #berufsunfähigkeitsversicherung #depression #mental health #toxic family #homophobic family #yeah so basically this is what has been going on - I've been meaning to write this post for a while #technically it's all good - I'm finally where I wanted to be #but I guess that's why it's hitting me a bit harder that I'm /still/ not happy

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mysmegrace · 3 years

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i recently installed mystic messenger again after like a month or more of not playing (was afraid of someone finding the game in my phone) , and it felt good to "see" the characters again , so can i please request headcanons of the rfa seeing mc after a long time ?

hello, that's completely understandable lol. i remember back in 2016 when i played it the first time around (i deleted it after the first bad ending and didn't play again until 2019 lol) and was worried people would look on my phone and see it. oh how times have changed lol. but of course!

RFA Seeing MC After a Long Time

---

yoosung kim:

you attended the rfa party during the last summer you had before going to college.

life was looking up for you.

you found an amazing boyfriend, started becoming independent, and got a good summer job.

things only got better when you found out you had gotten accepted to college.

only problem was that the college was in the US, and your friends and lover were in South Korea.

as much as you loved your new life here, you reminded yourself of your feelings before meeting the rfa.

how everything you created here would only be temporary.

but now, you didn’t want to stick to that anymore.

your life was going so well, and you knew yoosung wouldn’t be happy about you leaving to go across the globe.

however, it was too good of an opportunity to let it go.

this was what you were to planning to do for the last decade.

if you were to give up now, all your hard work would be for nothing.

you were incredibly conflicted, but eventually choose to follow your passion at college overseas.

and yoosung was frantic about it.

he wouldn’t be able to see you, protect you, help you, feed you, walk with you, the list went on.

however as he’s gotten more mature over the past few days, he knew he didn’t have the power to stop you, nor should he guilt you about it.

besides, he wanted you to pursue something you were passionate in and become successful.

some sacrifices would just have to be made.

that didn’t mean he would let you go either.

the two of you made a promise to call, facetime, and visit each other as often as possible.

you’d make it work.

so with much regret, you left to the states.

and when the holidays approached, you decided to bring yourself to him as a gift.

it had been months since he saw you at this point.

you both could enjoy the holidays together while relaxing.

it was a win win.

and what better way to carry out your surprise than by showing up to his front door at 10pm?

and that’s exactly what you did.

giving the door a good few knocks, you waited until you were greeted by yoosung standing in his unwashed pajamas, staring at you.

it took a few seconds for it to click who you are, yet once that processed, he was overcome with joy.

you thought it was adorable how his hands flew to his face as he began to pull you into a hug shortly after.

you were met with only parts of words as yoosung couldn’t explain his excitement fast enough.

and you were ecstatic as well.

you never realized how much you missed him until you were reunited with him again.

hence why after you two spent the holidays together, you found it incredibly difficult to leave again.

however with his encouragement, you went off to work your hardest so he could meet a successful you the next time you reunited.

hyun ryu / zen:

much like zen, you were an actor too.

you were a much lesser known actress, but you had began building connections.

and those connections all paid off when you were offered a new role in a movie that was predicted to be going big.

you couldn’t be more grateful.

yet as you began reading farther into the offer, your heart slowly sunk.

if you were to take the role, you would have to relocate to germany for the next 9 months.

you wanted this so bad, but you didn’t want to leave zen alone for 9 months.

he if could, he would join you in germany.

but he already had a role to work on in south korea.

as much as you wanted him to join you, you didn’t want him to give up his role he had been working so hard on for the past year.

you were conflicted, and knew it would be best to talk about it to zen.

not only to see what he thinks, but to ease your feelings.

and once you had the discuss about it with you, you came to a conclusion.

you would could, keeping in contact with him everyday.

though zen was heartbroken about it, he knew how much you wanted this and how much this would advance your career.

so with a heavy heart, he sent you off.

the moment you left on the plane, he was already longing for your reunion.

9 months never went by so slow.

when you were with him, there was never enough time to bask in each others love.

but without him, everyday had an extra 8 hours.

even though you were working 24/7, time stayed still for days on end.

yet when the production ended a month early, all your worries and stresses eased as you could finally reunite with your love in person.

without thinking, you packed all your stuff up once you got back to your trailer to get the next plane back to seoul.

you hadn’t even thought to tell zen until you boarded the plane.

too late now though, as you weren’t aloud your phone on the plane.

what an idiotic rule, you thought.

but perhaps it was better this way, as you could surprise zen with your return sooner than expected.

you gave into the tiredness that followed you around for the months prior, awakening to the speaker saying you’ve landed.

in your half awake state, you got off the plane and called for a cab.

it only took an hour to reach your destination, in which you got more sleep on the way there.

you thanked the driver before heading out, practically running to the front door.

you knocked, hoping to make zen believe you were only a door salesman or a mailman.

you heard some footsteps approaching behind the door in a hurried state, before the door opened and you were greeted with your future husband.

his expression changed in the speed of light once he quickly realized who you were.

you were met with a tight embrace, doubting if you could breath for a second.

zen pulled away not too long after, his excitement getting to him as he said “i didn’t think you were supposed to be home so soon!”

to that, you could only giggle as you admitted the reason behind your surprise.

zen was more than happy to see you home earlier than discussed before.

“this day is too important, we have to do something now!” zen said as he got dressed up to go out in the christmas weather.

with a small laugh, you agreed.

the rest of your day was spent going out to cafes and buying presents for the other rfa members.

and to your luck, the movie turned out a huge success.

not only in germany, but in korea as well.

things worked out for the best, you thought.

but one thing was for sure, you weren’t doing that again.

jaehee kang:

jaehee had brought up the idea of opening a cafe, to which you were 100% in on.

however, in korea you had to have a culinary certificate to own a cafe.

i dont know if thats legit or not i completely made that up

but if you had to get a certificate, you were going to get it in the best way you could.

and a college you had come across was perfect for that.

it was a good price and had a great reputation.

there was one problem however, and that was that it was located in france.

which was a 12 hour flight away from seoul.

you knew there was no opportunity like it, but you couldn’t stop yourself from being on the edge about it.

you didn’t want to leave your friends and family here for 2 years while you went off to another country on your own.

plus who knew if something would happen to you while you were aboard?

your concerns were slightly lessened after you brought up your worries to jaehee, and the encouragement she gave you was overwhelming.

she suggested for you to go for it and that she would hold everything down in seoul while helping the rfa in planning future parties.

on the upside, it would give her more time to save up more money for the opening just in cause it was needed.

with hesitation, you decided to go along with her words and study in france for some time.

you would miss each other, but you both knew it was what you two needed to ensure a sucessful future.

while you were aboard, jaehee would attend culinary classes in korea here and there.

you would keep in contact frequently, but never had the money to go back to seoul on holidays to reunite.

so once those two years had passed, you were out as fast as possible.

you loved france, but you loved your girlfriend more.

you hopped on the plane home, eager to see everyone again.

and once you arrived at the airport in seoul, the first thing you saw as you exited the plane was your girlfriend standing there, eyes focused on the doorway waiting for your arrival.

and once your eyes met, you were quick to run up to her while opening your arms to hug her strongly.

two years was such a long time to be apart, but all was well now.

shortly after, the two of you opened the cafe and were met with an incredible amount of support from the community and rfa.

now you were content to settle down in seoul with the love of your life.

jumin han:

you were very business driven, which jumin liked about you.

even having your own fashion company.

you were unlike many other women he had come across before in various ways.

but the downside to your business focused mind were your frequent business trips.

some would last a day while others would last a week.

though this recent one you were expected to take was unlike anything you had ever had to do before for work.

it suggested you stayed in china for a month as you worked out many business issues and proposals.

while your company had began trending recently, you had never expected this.

the first thing that came to your mind once reading the email was your husband.

you felt horrible when you had to leave him alone for a day, but a month?

you couldn’t even imagine how much that would hurt him.

however, this wasn’t something you could just refuse.

if you did, you weren’t sure if your company would continue standing.

and so later that night, you told jumin everything over wine.

how you didn’t want to but knew your company wouldn’t survive without it.

he didn’t know what to make of everything.

this came at the worst timing.

he needed to stay in korea for the time being for business, so he couldn’t join you in china either.

reluctantly, he supported you in your travels.

he understood your situation, but made you promise to call him every night.

which you had no problem with.

and so with a sad smile, you had left a few days later.

things were frustrating in beijing, but you at least had the comfort of your husbands voice to fall asleep to.

everyone at the office noticed jumins shift in mood as soon as your left.

yet without a voice of concern, things carried on as if nothing happened.

the day you were set to come back, jumin cancelled all plans to spend the day with you.

you needed to make up for the time the two of you lost, and you needed to rest in the comfort of your own home again.

thankfully, your company didn’t meet it’s downfall just yet.

in fact, it was now prospering.

saeyoung choi:

your day was going as it normally would.

well, as normal as a day with saeyoung can go.

yet it all changed when you got a call that your brother had gotten into a bad car accident, and the situation wasn’t looking good.

you didn’t know how to react, so many emotions and fears were overwhelming you.

you knew you were your brothers emergency contact, as he had no one else close to him in his life, so it was no question about why they called you while you were in seoul and he was in brazil.

but after learning about the situation, you quickly realized that you needed to get back to brazil as soon as possible.

they didn’t know how long he had left, and the remainder of his days would require for him to get help to do everyday things.

with your eyes barely spilling over, you told saeyoung everything.

you were met with a hug as he comforted you.

when you brought up the fact of needing to leave, he didn’t think twice before giving you his blessing (though he knew you didn’t need it).

it would be hard on him because he wouldn’t be able to join you as he was in an active mission, but he would keep in touch and make sure of your safety from countries away.

after all, he would do the same if saeran were in your brothers position.

the next day, you backed your flight to brazil, packing only what you needed.

your days in brazil passed in pain, as you watched your brother fight for his life daily.

until one day, his body gave up on him and he passed.

you were devastated.

you were on autopilot in public and breaking down in your hotel room when no one was around.

after attending your brothers funeral and a week of mourning, you began to book your ticket back to seoul.

yet in your state of heart ache, you didn’t realize the change in the countries health as the coronavirus started running through every town in the nation.

planes were unavailable and travel was banned.

now you were stuck here for the next 6 months, always hopping the next month would be better and you’d finally be able to go home.

saeyoung was on his toes all the time, not feeling the same without you.

and you missed him more and more as the days went on.

when the time finally came, you rushed to buy a ticket, though most people weren’t flying due to their fears surrounding the situation.

the plane was empty, allowing you to sneak your phone, sending a text to saeyoung.

“i’m on the plane home now” you typed.

saeyoung was overcome with joy to see your message.

though you had to isolate for 14 days, at least you were in the country and close to him.

once you got off the plane, went into isolation, and tested negative for covid, you ran to your shared home.

opening the door to be greeted with the same old smile that teased you every morning was a refreshing sight.

you ran up as he lifted you in a tight embrace, swaying you side to side in a wave of excitement.

after months of stress and anxiety, you could finally breath.

that realization alone was enough to make you burst out into tears of relief.

your feelings were contagious, as you saw saeyoungs eyes starting to water as well.

you were finally safe and sound in his protection, and that was all he could’ve asked for..

---

01:51 AST - 09/01/21

#mystic messenger #mysme #juminhan #jumin #jumin x mc #707 #saeyoung choi #saeyoung x mc #luciel choi #yoosung x mc #yoosung kim #zen #hyun ryu #jaehee kang #jaehee x mc #mystic messenger headcanons

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tricksters-captain · 3 years

Text

Bucky Barnes imagines - Some Sunny Day Part 2

AN: I’m splitting episode 3 into two chapters because so much happens.

Summary: Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.

In this chapter: Despite your protests, Bucky seeks out Zemo (Based on S1 EP3)

(PART 1 HERE)

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 5,196

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 3, violence, strong language.

You watched Bucky as he sat beside you on the aircraft.

“Do you mind?” Bucky’s side eye didn’t make you look away.

“I’m just trying to see what’s going through that head of yours.” You confessed. You were all on your way to Germany to visit Zemo. It wasn’t a plan you were happy with but it was the plan.

“Don’t bother.” Bucky frowned, looking down at his hands on his lap. “And don’t ask me if I think this is a good idea again.”

“I wasn’t going to ask that.” You turned away from the man.

“What was it then?” Bucky asked.

“I was going to ask if you were sure you wanted to do this.” It was another question you had already asked 20 times or more but you couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling of anxiety about this trip.

“She has a right to be worried, Buck. The last time you were alone with Zemo, you ended up putting (Y/n) through three windows.” Sam reminded you both of what happened the last time you were in Berlin.

“It won’t happen this time.” Bucky tried to reassure you both but you still felt uneasy.

After another hour or so Sam announced that you were almost there.

It was a short drive to the prison from the airport but once you were inside, you felt your chest begin to tighten again.

“He’s just through that corridor.” The German guard gestured up ahead and that’s when Bucky stopped you.

“Alright. Give us a sec.” Bucky instructed the security guard before turning to you and Sam. “I’m gonna go in alone.”

“Why?” Sam asked,

“You’re Avengers. You know how he feels about that.” Bucky said as he looked between the two of you.

“It’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together.” Sam felt he needed to remind Bucky of the past again. However, Bucky stood his ground.

“He was obsessed with HYDRA. We have a history together. Trust me. I got it.”

“Buck...” You started,

“I got it.” He repeated himself before you could say anything else.

You watched Bucky head through the doors alone.

“Let’s wait outside. This place gives me the creeps.” Sam encouraged you to follow him to which you didn’t do without hesitation.

Sam brought you a hot drink as you sat on a bench outside.

“I forgot how worried he can make you.” Sam admitted as he sat down beside you.

“I’ve seen what he went through, Sam. All of it leading up to Zemo. I just... I don’t want it happening to him again.” You knew you couldn’t explain the extent of why you cared for Bucky.

“You love him.” Sam said. It wasn’t a question but rather a statement. “I can see it clear as day. Anyone could if they stuck around long enough.”

“Why are you bringing this up, Sam?” You sighed, looking away from him.

“Because it’s also obvious that he loves you too. You run around driving each other crazy with worry but you have none of the good stuff that comes with being in love with someone.”

“What do you know about love, Don Juan?” You chuckled as you tried to lighten the tone.

“I know it when I see it.” Sam smiled but there was a sadness behind his eyes.

“Things are complicated, Sam.” You muttered, “You already know that.”

“Well I also think that if Bucky got some he’d be a whole lot less angsty all the damn time.” You knew Sam only said it to make you laugh but you still gave him a whack for the comment.

“Shut up, Sam.” You shook your head, trying not to smile at the inappropriate comment.

Sam kept you entertained by a couple of silly games of rock, paper, scissors before Bucky returned.

“Come on, I got some information. We gotta go.” Bucky hurried you and Sam along.

“Just like that?” You were surprised that Zemo even spoke to Bucky at all.

“A location. I’ll explain everything once we get there.” Bucky wasn’t giving you much information and it was making you a little suspicious.

“Hey, hey, hey...” Sam ran after Bucky, stopping him. “You gotta give us a little more than that.”

“Zemo agreed to help us after hearing that there were more super soldiers. It was his life ambition to stop the winter soldier programme and he’s given us a lead.” Bucky explained.

“And you’re just gonna trust his word?” You probed.

“There’s not much else we can do.” Bucky did make a point.

It didn’t take long to reach the large warehouse/garage that Bucky wanted to go to.

Bucky on the way had started rambling about breaking Zemo out of jail in order to help you guys which sounded ridiculous to you.

“Tell me you’re joking, Buck.” You pleaded, unsure whether he had lost his mind entirely.

“He’s our best shot at finding who is making the serum and he’d be a lot more useful out than in.” Bucky opened the door to the building and you followed him inside.

“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail? Where are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?” Sam was just as lost as you were as he shot questions at Bucky.

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing.” Bucky sighed as you made your way in with your flashlights.

“What we have is one of the most dangerous men in the world behind bars.” Sam argued.

“We also have eight Super Soldiers that are loose.” Bucky retorted.

“Anyway, I thought this was a lead?” You tried to look around but the place was badly lit. There were mainly mechanic tools and lots of storage scattered around.

“It’s complicated.” Bucky frowned.

“What’s complicated is Zemo. He’s gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offence.” Sam shone his flashlight at Bucky as he spoke.

“Offence.” Bucky didn’t look impressed as he found the light switch. “Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code.”

“I’ve been on the wrong side of that code and so have you. He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it? It’s a rhetorical question. They didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end.” Sam stepped closer to Bucky. You couldn’t deny that Sam had a point. Zemo was the one who tore the avengers apart by framing Bucky. “We don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are.” Bucky couldn’t give up. “Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I?”

“What did you do?” Sam narrowed his eyes at Bucky.

You were busy looking inside the car that was revealed by the lights coming on.

“I didn’t do anything.” Bucky shook his head before he continued with his ‘hypothetical’.

“The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond.”

“So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment? Who knows?” Sam questioned.

“There could be many reasons…” Bucky shrugged. “But the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated, and with all those bodies flying around left and right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two.

At this point, you stopped looking around and looked over at Bucky with your arms across your chest. You weren’t liking how thought out this plan was sounding.

“And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated someone could use the chaos to their advantage.” Bucky continued.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural. Are you… And where are we, man?” Sam gestured around the place with confusion locked on his face.

“Bucky, I’m with Sam on this one. I’ve got a bad feeling and–––” A door opening behind you cut you short.

You turned around to see Zemo walk through the plastic door curtains.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Sam jumped forward instructively. Bucky managed to stop him but he didn't stop you.

You rushed towards Zemo and held the tip of one of your knives to his Adams apple as he held his hands up.

“What are you doing here?” Sam shouted at Zemo before snapping back to Bucky.

“I didn’t tell ’cause I knew you wouldn’t let this happen.” Bucky admitted.

“What did you do?” Sam pointed at Zemo in shock.

“We need him.” Bucky stated to which you chuckled harshly, pressing your knife a little harder.

“You’re going back to prison!” Sam called over.

“If I may..? “ Zemo tried to speak but you all shut him up with a unanimous ‘No.’

“Apologies.” Zemo mumbled.

“(Y/n), put the knife down.” Bucky came towards you and wrapped his hand round your wrist. “Please?”

You did. Slowly.

“Look, when Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you both backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your neck out for me. I’m asking you to do it again.” Bucky looked back and forth from you to Sam.

“I really think I’m invaluable.” Zemo spoke again.

“Shut up.” You rose the knife again to which Zemo took a step back and pretended to zip his mouth shut.

“Okay.” Sam sighed after a moment of contemplation. “If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.”

“Fair.” Zemo nodded.

“Bucky... You understand what this means right? If they find out we took Zemo, specifically you. We’ll be on the run again and I don’t know if there will be a pardon this time either.” The concern in your eyes made Bucky frown.

“It’ll be alright. He's the only shot we got to stop these guys.” Bucky wasn’t sure if he believed his own words but he was praying that this was the best thing to do.

“Alright.” You turned to Zemo. “So where do we start?”

Zemo gestured for you to follow him before taking you into another dark room. You kept your knife in your hand just in case.

He reached for the light switch to reveal a mass of classic cars.

“So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam cocked his eyebrow at the impressive collection.

“These are mine. Collected by family over the generations. I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people… like the Avengers.” Zemo entered one of the cars and pulled out a bag. “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished. To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“Well, join the party. We’ve already started.” Sam told the man.

“First stop is a woman named Selby. Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.” Zemo took his bag and headed into another room.

“Jesus... How big is this place?” You looked around to see it was full of clothes.

“First I change and then we head to Selby.” Zemo placed the bag down before filing through one if the rails of clothes.

“How are we supposed to get anywhere with Zemo on our hands? We can’t exactly call Torres and ask for a ride but please ignore the fugitive that’s coming with us.” You looked between the boys.

“I will get us there.” Zemo told you.

“Great.” You pressed a fake smile onto your face which Zemo chose not to acknowledge.

Before you knew it you were at the airport at Zemo’s private jet.

“So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam’s eyes went wide at the sight of the plane.

“I’m a Baron, Sam. My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.” Zemo spoke as if it was well known information. You felt a pang hit you in the chest, it happened every time you thought of Sokovia... it was guilt.

You watched Zemo greet an elderly man in a suit before you entered the jet.

You sat furtherest away from Zemo, still feeling very uncomfortable about him being free and under your custody.

You watched him sip on a glass of champagne like he had no worries in the world.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell. Oh. That’s right you do.” Zemo reminded you of the time Tony had locked a lot of the avengers up.

“Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?” Sam suggested.

“I’m sorry. I was just fascinated by this. I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?”

Before you could blink, Bucky had lunged forward and taken Zemo by the neck.

“If you touch that again, I’ll kill you.” Bucky kept hold of Zemo for a second longer before sitting back down. You had fought the urge to get up and take hold of his arm to calm him down.

"I’m sorry. I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.” Zemo made no attempt at a sincere apology for the invasion of privacy.

“Don’t push it.” Bucky warned him.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” Sam smiled as he thought back on the memory.

“I like ’40s music, so…” Bucky shrugged.

“You didn’t like it?” Sam seemed more shock to hear this than when he saw Zemo.

“I liked it.” Bucky proclaimed.

“It is a masterpiece, James. Complete. Comprehensive. It captures the African-American experience.” Even Zemo had to get involved.

“He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great. Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.” Sam turned back to Bucky after giving side eye to Zemo.

“I like Marvin Gaye.” Bucky repeated.

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” Sam couldn’t drop it but you didn’t bother getting involved.

You looked at the book in Bucky’s hands. You knew Steve had given it to him before but seeing it again after all this time brought up a hundred thoughts. You remembered the many things you had told Steve to watch or eat or listen to like ABBA, Mochi ice cream and pranking him by suggesting the twilight movie as must see.

“You must have really looked up to Steve.” Zemo mentioning Steve made you look up again. “But I realised something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals.”

“Watch your step, Zemo.” Sam warned him.

“They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought. You remember that, right?” Zemo looked over at Bucky. “As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor.”

“What’s up with Madripoor? You talk about it like it’s Skull Island.” Sam asked but you already knew of Madripoor. Anyone with links to the underworld of crime knew of Madripoor.

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” Bucky informed him.

“It’s kept its lawless ways. But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.” Zemo looked down at his duffel bag of clothes that you had watched him pack before.

“What do you mean by that?” You finally chimed into the conversation.

“James will have to retake the person of the Winter Soldier. You both will have a role to play also.” Zemo explained, turning to face you as you sat in the chair by the back wall of the jet.

“Bucky, can I speak to you privately?” You looked past Zemo to Bucky. Bucky gave you a look to ask where would you go so you stood and opened the cabin toilets door.

Bucky huffed before following you in.

“Bucky I’m not okay with this.” You whispered as you pressed yourself up against the wall so you could try and fit both you and Bucky a little more comfortably.

“This isn’t up to you.” Bucky sighed.

“Everything about this situation is making every nerve in my body scream this is a bad idea.” You folded your arms across your chest as you stared up at Bucky.

“How many times do I have to tell you that this is the only plan we got?”

“I don’t trust him.” You kept your voice low as you threw your hand up in the direction of the door.

“Do you trust me?” Bucky asked.

“I’m starting to question it.” You muttered.

Bucky just stared at you in response.

“Yes, I trust you.” You grumbled, caving in.

“Anyway I have you if things go bad.” Bucky tried to make light of the situation but you weren't impressed.

You left the bathroom and remained silent until you drew closer to Madripoor.

Upon your arrival in Madripoor, you were handed some clothes to change into.

“You’ve got to be kidding me?” You held up the small material dress that you were meant to wear.

“I had to choose a disguise that would cover your face. Too many people here would know you from your days before the avengers and after.” Zemo defended his choice of ‘costume’ for you.

“So I’m assassin barbie?” You scoffed before taking to the bathroom to change.

You slid on the black leather playsuit and boots, along with the mask that Zemo gave you.

You felt exposed and uncomfortable. You managed to hide a few knives in your boots and you slid on a thigh holster to hold some more to make you feel like you were protected at least.

“Loose the knives.” Zemo instructed.

“Are you serious?” You were growing more agitated by the minute with this man.

“You are playing an escort. You can’t have knives on show.” Zemo pointed to your holster.

You bit down on your cheek as you removed it.

“Fine.” You then left the plane to Sam and Bucky waiting outside. Bucky’s eyes went wide at the sight of you but he tried to hide it by clearing his throat and looking away.

“We have to fix this. I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” Sam was wearing a red patterned suit and chains. He didn’t look too bad in it either.

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp. You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.” Zemo handed Sam his phone revealing a picture of Conrad Mack.

“He even has a bad nickname. Hell, he does look like me, though.” Sam took the phone and looked down at the picture.

“(Y/n) is playing your partner for the night. Conrad is known for his appreciation for the finer things in life and often has a woman on his arm Therefore, (Y/n), you must be attached to Sam’s hip the entire night.” Zemo filled you all in on the reason behind your disguise.

“Excuse me, what?” Bucky almost choked at the idea of you having to be Sam’s woman for the night.

“Well it is the only disguise that makes sense. She can’t be your girlfriend as you are the Winter Soldier. She can’t be mine as everyone knows I am loyal to my wife. She has to be the smiling tigers current whore.”

“Watch your mouth.” Bucky hissed.

“We all must play a part.” Zemo defended his choice of words. “You smell this?”

“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam asked.

“Madripoor. No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There’s no margin for error. High Town’s that way. Not a bad place if you wanna visit, but Low Town’s the other way.” Zemo gestured across the city as a car approached you all.

“Let me guess. We don’t have any friends in High Town.” You sighed as Zemo opened the car door for you.

“Not if we want the answers we are looking for.” Zemo climbed into the car after you and then the boys followed.

It didn't take too long to find the way to low town. You had been to Madripoor before but it had been years ago.

You did as you were ordered when you all exited Zemo’s car. You stuck by Sam, walking in the middle of Sam and Bucky.

The air wasn’t cold but it felt thick, you could feel it sticking to your bare skin which gave you the desperate urge to take a long shower.

“Here we are.” Zemo had brought you to a bar. It was busy and filled with a lot of men.

“Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?” You heard Zemo ask Bucky in Russian.

You heard whispers around you questioning if Bucky was who everyone thought he was. It made your gut clench with nerves but you didn’t let it show.

“Hello, gentlemen. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” The bartender greeted Sam and Zemo but barely brushed a glance over you.

“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby.” Zemo spoke for Sam. You then felt Sam wrap his arm around your waist. You leaned into him, batting your eyelashes first at Sam and then the bartender.

“The usual?” The bartender asked Sam. He nodded, afraid that if he spoke then it would give away the facade.

You were thankful you were wearing a face mask when you saw the drink made for the Smiling Tiger. You grimaced at the dead snake being cut open and then again when one of its organs was dropped into Sam’s shot.

“Ah, Smiling Tiger. Your favourite.” Zemo picked up his own drink as he looked down at Sam’s.

“I love these.” Sam forced himself to speak.

“Cheers, Conrad.” Zemo and Sam touched glasses before Sam hesitantly shot back the drink. You could tell Bucky enjoyed watching that.

“I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.” A man suddenly approached from behind and tapped Zemo on the shoulder. You felt Sam’s grip on you tighten protectively.

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me...” Zemo held his hand out to show his new bodyguard.

“New haircut?” The stranger looked Bucky up and down.

“Or bring Selby for a chat.” Zemo gave him the other option. The man retreated.

“A power broker? Really?” Bucky spoke once the stranger had left.

“Every kingdom needs its king. Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.”

“Do you know him?” Sam asked.

“Only by reputation.” Zemo admitted honestly.

“In Madripoor he is judge, jury, and executioner. You can’t visit low town without appearing on his radar.” You spoke up as you let yourself look around the room and take in just how many threats were around.

“And you know this why?” Sam looked down at you. He must've forgotten your past.

“I was a free agent before the Avengers. I've been here undercover a few times especially when I was a young teenager. Surprise Surprise evil guys like little girls.” You kept quiet in case anyone around was listening.

Zemo suddenly spoke a command for Bucky in Russian once again and that’s when another stranger put his hands on Zemo.

You watched Bucky follow orders and he didn’t hold back.

He grabbed hold of the strangers wrist and pulled him off Zemo before attacking him and several others around.

You took notice of those around with their phones out. Cameras...

You went to step forward when you felt Sam squeeze your side. He gave you a look that told you no.

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.” Zemo muttered to you and Sam. You wanted to punch him.

Bucky slammed another man onto the bar and that’s when you heard the wave of guns cocking.

Sam took hold of Bucky’s arm when Zemo told him to stay in character.

Instead Zemo told Bucky to stand down once you were informed you could see Selby.

Sam took hold of you hand and dragged you along side him as you all left the bar.

“She isn’t welcome.” One of the guards stopped you before you could enter the room.

“Excuse me?” Sam scoffed at the guard. “She’s with me and so she is welcome.”

“Let her in!” You heard an English accent call from ahead.

“You should know, Baron. People don’t just come into my bar and make demands.” Selby was an older woman with a white pixie cut and a sly grin. Sam remained stood and so did Bucky but Sam had commanded you to take a seat next to Zemo.

“Not a demand. An offer.” Zemo was impressing you by how cool he was playing this. It also worried you.

“A lot has changed since you were here last. By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?“ Selby asked.

“People like us always find a way, don’t we? I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.”

“You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger.” Selby ignored Zemo as she eyed up Sam.” What’s the offer?”

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum. And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.”Zemo had risen from his seat and held Bucky by the chin.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember. I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately. Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank...Or condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but… things didn’t go as planned.” Selby fed you what she knew.

“Is Nagel still in Madripoor?” Zemo questioned.

“Oh. The bread crumbs you can have for free, but the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron. And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me.” Selby pushed herself from her seat and walked across the room.

That’s when Sam’s mobile went off.

“Answer it. On speaker.” Selby ordered. The gun behind Sam made him pull out his phone.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hey, um, we need to talk about this situation. It’s been drivin’ me nuts.” A woman’s voice came through.

“What situation exactly are you talkin’ about?” Sam tried his best to keep up his persona.

“Are you high? You know what situation, it’s the only situation me and you have.” The woman’s attitude was not helping Sam’s case.

“What situation, Sarah? Say it.” Sam demanded.

“The damn boat. And watch your tone. Okay? I let you slide at the bank.” Sarah snapped back.

“The bank. Yeah. Laundered so much...” Sam chuckled. “Yeah, they’ll come around.”

“If that was the case, then why’d they dog you out, Big Time?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah, you damn right I’m Big Time. You’ll see when I have that banker killed.” Sam tried to seem intimidating but at that moment you knew you were screwed. You reached down into your boot to take a knife just in case.

“Cass! What’d I tell you about the Cheerios? I don’t have time for this! Sam, I’m sorry. I’ll call you back.” Sarah had used Sam’s name and that was the end of it.

“Sam? Who’s Sam?” Selby looked pissed. “Kill them!” She ordered but before her hired men could react, a bullet came through the window and shot Selby down.

You snatched two knives from your boot and sent them into the guard behind Sam.

Bucky immediately reacted with taking out the other guard.

“They’re gonna pin this on us.” You took the knives from the body as the boys took the guns.

“We have a real problem now, so leave your weapons and follow my lead.” Zemo’s order made the boys put their guns down but you just wiped your knives and placed them back in your boot.

You left the club in a hurry. Text chimes went off around you and you knew the power broker had seen what happened.

You were well and truly fucked.

“This is not good.” Zemo’s last words before the shooting started.

You took off alongside Bucky and Sam, cursing the fact that Zemo had put you in the most uncomfortable shoes on the planet.

“I can’t run in these heels!” Sam shouted which almost made you laugh.

“Down here!” You took a turn into an alley to get off the road as two mopeds appeared behind you.

Before you could spin around to fight, a shooter had taken them out.

“You seem to have a guardian angel.” Zemo looked just. as confused you felt. You weren’t aware you knew anyone who was in Madripoor at the moment.

“Well, this is too perfect. Drop it, Zemo.” A familiar face soon revealed itself from the shadows.

“Sharon?” Sam furrowed his brow at the woman.

“You cost me everything.” Sharon ignore Sam as she spoke to Zemo.

“Sharon, wait. Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” Sam stepped ahead of Zemo to protest him.

“That explains why you guys are here. And Selby’s dead.”Sharon glowered at the four of you.

“So what are you doing here?” Bucky asked the question on everyones mind.

“I stole Steve’s shield, remember? I also took the wings for your ass, so that you could save him from him. I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up. So I’m off the grid in Madripoor.” Sharon informed you.

“Don’t blow smoke. Both (Y/n) and I were on the run, too.” Sam didn't bother with feeling pity.

“Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore. I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.” Sharon shot back.

“Listen, Sharon, we need your help.” Bucky interrupted her before she could say anything else.

“Please.” You added. You and Sharon were friendly for a time before the world went to hell. You figured she’d help you at least.

“This isn’t over. I have a place in High Town. You’ll be safe there for a while.” Sharon sighed, giving in and lowering her gun.

“Thank you.” You pressed a small smile onto your face but Sharon didn’t reciprocate.

She managed to get you to a car safely and you headed out of low town for the night.

(PART 3 HERE)

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#Bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and the winder soldier imagines #the winter soldier #Sam Wilson #Sam Wilson imagines #Sebastian Stan #sebstian stan imagines #Sebastian Stan x reader #fem reader #series #some sunny day

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yelena-bellova · 3 years

Text

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

chapter three - Chapter Four: Madripoor - chapter five

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Sam and Bucky pay an eventful visit to Helmut Zemo in Berlin, heading to Madripoor soon after to get answers about the serum.

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: spoilers for episode.3, angst, violence, description of injuries, a few crumbs for the slow burn, breaking the law and looking good doing it

A/N: These chapters always end up being so long lol. I was going to include the nightclub scene but it would’ve made it too long so sorry, it’ll have to wait a few more days. Forgive my shitty Russian translations, I’m on Google Translate and that’s not saying a lot.

----

“Not that it makes a difference, but I still don’t like this.” I’d voiced my displeasure about meeting with Zemo several times since we’d arrived in Germany. Even though we were already being led through the high security Berlin prison hallways, I still felt the urge to state my opinion.

The guard that was guiding us gestured towards a door, “He’s just through the corridor.”

“Give us a sec,” Bucky said, the three of us coming to a halt in the middle of the hall. “I’m gonna go in alone.” “Why?” Sam asked.

“You’re an Avenger, you know how he feels about that,” Bucky looked to me, “You, I’m trying to keep as far away from him as possible.”

“It’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together,” Sam remarked.

“I’m gonna say it again,” I took an assertive step forward, “I don’t like this.”

“He was obsessed with HYDRA,” Bucky pushed, “We have a history together. Trust me, I got it.”

Taking my cue from Sam, who didn’t fight him any more, I nervously watched Bucky stalk down the hallway to the corridor that led to our possible next step.

“Is he really okay?” I asked, watching Bucky’s figure until he disappeared, “I feel like we’re going a little too far with this.” “He’s invested, which means he’s desperate,” Sam answered, leaning his back against the wall, “This is a little too much though.”

I copied his posture and we stood in silence, the occasional guard passing by. “What happened last night after I left the room? C’mon, you come out crying and you thought I was gonna let it go?” “Bucky and I were just…” I sighed, remembering the change that had happened between our two conversations, “Learning to get along. I told him about Steve, that’s never fun to relive.” “Ah,” Sam nodded, “Can I ask you something?”

“Hm?” “You’re not mad at me that I gave up the shield, are you?”

My brows knitted together as I looked over at him, “Why would I be mad? Your decision wouldn’t have changed even if I was, would it?” “No, it wouldn’t have. But you were close to Steve too, you care about his legacy,” he went on, “We’re all angry about Walker. I don’t care if Bucky’s upset at me, but I always care if you are.” “Someone ever tell you you care too much sometimes?” I playfully nudged his sneaker with my own, “Of course I’m not mad, you know I support you no matter what. You made the right decision for you and you have nothing to apologize for. Bucky and even Steve don’t need to understand why you chose to give it up. Would it have been cool to say that my brother is Captain America?” I coaxed a laugh out of him, “Of course, but it doesn’t change how I see you. I’m just proud to say my brother is Sam Wilson.” He poked me with his elbow and smiled, “Now I remember why I keep you around.” “Y/n Y/l/n, Falcon’s Ego Booster.” We were sharing a laugh when Bucky came back around the corner. “That was quick,” I observed. He’d been in there five minutes tops.

“We’ve got our next stop.”

————

“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail?” Sam questioned in the dark, “Where are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?”

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing,” Bucky replied, shining his flashlight around to try and find the power switch. I couldn’t clearly make out where he had brought us to, he’d brought us through the back door of the building. “So because we’ve hit one dead end, you want to spring one of the most dangerous men in the world out of prison?” I asked, shining my flashlight at Bucky causing him to throw a hand up to shield his eyes, “Bucky, I don’t-“ “Like this,” he finished, “I got that, but we’ve got eight Super Soldiers on the loose.” “Zemo’s gonna miss with our minds, especially yours,” Sam interjected, “No offense.” I made out Bucky’s silhouette reaching up a beam, a loud click of a switch and the lights began to turn on. “Offense,” he scowled.

With the lights on, we could finally see that we were in an auto shop. I was glad to be out of the prison but I wasn’t seeing the correlation between it and freeing Zemo.

“Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in,” Bucky continued, “He is crazy, but he still has a code.” “I’ve been on the wrong side of that code and so have you,” Sam countered, I’d heard in detail about the havoc Zemo had caused and the ramifications of his actions had caused Sam and Steve to become fugitives. Never mind what he’d done to Bucky…”He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it? It’s a rhetorical question, they didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end.”

Bucky stood in front of us now, “We don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are,” Sam turned his back in frustration, “Look, let me just walk you two through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

“What did you do?” Sam asked suspiciously, turning halfway to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“I didn’t…” Bucky’s looked away briefly, “Do anything.”

“Then by all means,” I leaned up against a beam and crossed my arms, not believing him at all, “Let’s ride the hypothetical train.” Bucky frowned at my sarcasm before launching into it, “The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond.” “So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment?” Sam asked.

“Who knows? There could be many reasons…But the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated and with all those bodies flying around left and right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two. And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated, someone could use the chaos to their advantage.”

“My gut is sounding off every alarm it has right now,” I commented from my place across from Bucky.

“Yeah, I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this, this is unnatural,” Sam replied finally, “Are you- and where are we, man?” A nearby door closing caused us to turn our attention towards it, a silhouette appearing soon after through a curtain. The shadow became a man and walked through the cloth divider wearing the face I’d had etched in my brain since the day it hit the news.

“You son of a bitch,” I mumbled, creating a ball of energy quickly with my hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sam’s voice rose, walking with me towards the man, “What are you doin’ here?” Bucky was quick to throw himself in front of us, “No, listen. I didn’t want to tell you ‘cause I knew neither of you would let this happen.” “What the hell did you do?” I exclaimed.

“We need him,” Bucky said. Sam pointed to Zemo, “You’re going back to prison!”

“If I may,” the Sokovian man began, removing the hat of his stolen prison guard uniform.

“NO!” the three of us yelled at the same time. He hung his head, “Apologies…” Bucky turned back to Sam, “When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your neck out for me,” when Sam averted his gaze, Bucky chased it, “I’m asking you to do it again.”

“And what about her?” Sam gestured to me and the ball of energy I still had formed in my palms, “What happens when she breaks the law?” Bucky’s pleading eyes drifted to me, “He’s our only shot at getting any answers.” My mind was wrestling with itself, his rightness was inevitably going to come at a cost we would all have to pay. On a technicality, yes, I could plead innocent to freeing Zemo. A coconspirator charge, I wouldn’t be so lucky with. But stopping the Flag Smashers meant saving lives and that wasn’t something I could walk away from. I deformed the energy in my hands in cautious surrender, “I’m already breakin’ the law by going against the accords, I need to make it worth it at least.” Sam shot me an exasperated glance, but he didn’t fight me.

“I really think I’m invaluable…” Zemo began from his corner.

“Shut up…” Sam warned, effectively shutting him up. Sam thought it all over for a second before pressing his flashlight to Bucky’s chest, “Okay. If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.” Zemo shrugged, “Fair.”

The three of us shared an uneasy look, there was no going back now. “Okay, Zemo, where do we start?”

“Follow me,” he smiled, leading the way out of the auto shop and expecting us to follow. Sam went first, eager to keep his eye on Zemo at all times while Bucky and I brought up the rear.

“I didn’t want to have to go this route,” he said from beside me as if he owed me some explanation for his actions. I sighed, trying to shut off the part of my brain that was screaming at me, “Just be right.”

We maneuvered through a few corridors until we hit a room filled with beautiful antique cars. “So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam asked. “These are mine,” Zemo corrected, “Collected by family over the generations. I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people…like the Avengers,” he dug through one of the cars to pull out a bag and coat, “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished.” My eyes unavoidably flickered to Bucky, observing his reaction to hearing his old code name. He simply watched the man continue speaking. “To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“Well, join the party. We’ve already started…” Sam commented.

“First stop is a woman named Selby,” Zemo stated as he headed for the exit, “Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.”

Sam, Bucky and I left a gaping distance between us and him, we were still highly suspicious and I had a feeling we would be until our temporary partnership came to an end.

————

Zemo had gotten word to somebody that we’d be meeting them at a private airport in Berlin and flying to someplace called Madripoor. Somehow we’d made the journey without being recognized, even those of us who were wanted across the globe. “So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam asked as we made our way towards the private plane.

“I’m a Baron, Sam,” Zemo answered, “My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.”

Zemo greeted the man standing outside the plane, who was dressed like a butler, in Sokovian. “Well,” I crossed my arms and watched one of the world’s most dangerous men exchange cheek kisses, “If we’re going to work with a criminal, at least we picked one that comes with transportation.” “Please,” Zemo said, gesturing for us to follow him up the plane’s steps. Sam awkwardly bowed to the butler and headed up. Bucky extended a hand towards the jet for me to go ahead of him before following closely behind.

When we filed into the plane, Sam and Zemo were already seated. I moved to take the chair across from the baron, wanting to keep as close an eye on him as I could. Bucky’s flesh arm reached out quickly and grabbed my shoulder, I turned to question him and met his wary expression. “Sit with Sam,” he muttered quietly, our faces close enough that I could feel his breath as he’d spoken. It dawned on me that he wanted me to have the safer position. I answered with a nod, maneuvering around him to sit across from Sam. Even though his hand had left my arm, I could still feel its print through my jacket.

We had been flying for maybe twenty minutes when Zemo’s butler, Oeznik, came in carrying a glass of champagne for Zemo and offering to whip up some food. It astounded me how to the world, he was evil yet to his servants, he was a joy. “You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell,” the baron said before looking over at my brother, “Oh, that’s right. You do.”

Sam bypassed the jab remarkably, “Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?”

“I’m sorry, I was just fascinated by this,” Zemo held up a book, “I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?”

Not two seconds after the name had left his lips, Bucky out of his seat with his metal hand wrapped around Zemo’s neck. My heart stopped as I watched him lean over the man threateningly. “If you touch that book again,” he growled, “I’ll kill you.” This was a side of Bucky I had yet to see, the one that straddled the line between his dark past and his true self. As he sat back down, tucking the book in his pocket and refusing to meet my eyes, I could tell he wasn’t pleased with how he’d acted. I wasn’t in a place to criticize but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been slightly worried when his fingers hit Zemo’s skin.

“I’m sorry,” Zemo said, “I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.” “Don’t push it,” Bucky rasped, collecting himself after the scene.

“I’ve seen that book,” Sam spoke up, “It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man, he wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” “I like ’40’s music,” Bucky shrugged and looked out the window, “So…” “You didn’t like it?” Sam exclaimed.

“I liked it,” Bucky replied unconvincingly.

“It is a masterpiece, James,” Zemo chimed in, his hands forming a triangle, “Complete, comprehensive…It captures the African-American experience.” While my brows raised at the European’s surprising education, Sam’s furrowed. “He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great, everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

Bucky shook his head, “I like Marvin Gaye.” “Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” “He did,” I chuckled, reminiscing back to only last year, “Played him almost anytime I got in a car with him.” “You must have really looked up to Steve,” Zemo said, “But I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals.” “Watch your step, Zemo…” Sam warned. “They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there,” he shrugged, “Cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought,” Zemo turned his attention to Bucky, “You remember that, right?” As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor.” “What’s up with Madripoor?” Sam looked between the two men, “You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.”

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago,” Bucky grumbled, “It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” “It’s kept its lawless ways, but we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves,” Zemo’s unsettling eyes moved back to Bucky, “James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.”

With the way Bucky’s expression had changed in mere seconds from complacent to tortured, it didn’t take long to decode what Zemo was insinuating. “No,” I blurted out, “That’s not fair to ask of him.” “I admire your devotion, Y/n,” Zemo complimented with his lips to his champagne flute, taking a quick sip, “But you know nothing of how Madripoor works. If you want to get to Selby, we must have protection. More than that, we must have leverage. James can provide us both by simply playing a part.” “Devo-?” I shook my head, sidestepping Zemo’s comment, “That’s not playing a part, that’s like reliving every nightmare you’ve ever had. I-it’s like-“ “Y/n,” I turned to see Bucky’s chair rotated towards me, looking helpless and determined all at once, “We need in.” “Yeah, but…” I started to protested before seeing his eyes, those ocean blue eyes I was growing to feel comforted by begging me to let the subject go. I clenched my own y/e/c ones shut in frustration, “Okay.” “Now that that’s settled,” Zemo stood from his seat, “I will find us something to change into, we will need to blend in where we’re going.” ——

The silver dress Zemo had chosen for me was…it made me wonder just what kind of scene we were planning to enter. It was more revealing than anything I typically wore, but gorgeous nonetheless and fit perfectly.

As I was finishing my makeup in the bathroom of the plane, I had to take a second to steel myself for what was to come. This wasn’t just dallying with Super Soldiers any more, this was dancing with the criminal underworld. Zemo hadn’t told us yet the roles we were playing, only that we needed to stay in character at all cost. I had never felt more out of my depth, but had no choice but to rise to the occasion. Giving myself one last check in the mirror, I unlocked and exited the bathroom.

“Okay, I hope whoever I’m playing is bad with heels,” I held up the elaborate shoes Zemo had matched to my dress, “Because there’s no way I’m going to be graceful in these.” Sam looked up from tying his dress shoes, dressed in a maroon suit patterned with yellow circles. His eyes scanned my outfit unapprovingly. “Uh uh,” he protested, going full protective big brother, “Nope. It shows too much.” “It doesn’t matter what it shows,” I said, bending over to strap on the shoes, “It’s what I’ve got.” “She’s right,” Zemo chimed in, putting his jacket on, “You two are supposed to be rich, glamorous travelers of the world. You need to look the part,” he nodded towards me, “You wear it well.” I politely smiled at the baron and looked up to Bucky, perched in the far corner of the jet. His gaze was fixed on me, eyes quickly traveling down my body before quickly locking with mine. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, his plush lips parted ever so slightly. I found myself just as drawn into him as he seemed to be with me, for a few seconds it was just the two of us shutting our surroundings out. It was…something. “You look nice,” Bucky finally said, his voice slightly strained.

My lips quirked upwards, “Thanks.” “It is time for us to leave,” Zemo announced, bursting the bubble Bucky and I had built, “You’d better get used to those shoes quickly, we’ll be making most of the journey by foot.” He hadn’t been lying. We departed the runway and walked our way towards the city. Madripoor looked beautiful on the outside, the high-rise buildings lit up in all different colors emitting a glow across the waters.

“We have to do something about this,” Sam finally exclaimed, holding the lapels of his patterned maroon suit, “I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” “If you’re a pimp, what does that make me?” I gestured to the amount of skin I had on display, “Suck it up, Wilson.” “Only an American would assume a fashion-forward black man looks like a pimp,” Zemo added as we crossed the large bridge leading to the city, “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.” Sam took Zemo’s phone from his outstretched hand, “He even has a bad nickname.”

I leaned over to look at the picture of Sam’s doppelgänger, “Hey, be nice. That’s your twin you’re talking about.” “And you,” Zemo addressed me, “Conrad is known for entertaining beautiful women, one after the other,” he ignored the faces of disgust Sam and I made at the thought of acting as a couple, “You will be playing tonight’s date, no need to come up with a name or a story as his dates are typically just arm candy.”

“So I’m supposed to just sit and look pretty?” I side eyed Zemo in annoyance, “Great.” “You smell this?” he asked the group.

“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam asked.

“Madripoor,” Zemo answered, “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There’s no margin for error. High Town’s that way,” Zemo pointed towards the part of the city I’d been admiring, “Not a bad place if you want to visit, but Low Town’s the other way.�� We approached a car waiting for us at the end of the bridge, ready to take us into the darkest part of the city. Bucky, who had remained silent since the plane, climbed into the backseat first while Zemo took the passenger’s side. “Let me guess,” Sam remarked as we moved to get in the car, “We don’t have any friends in High Town.”

“I’m guessing not,” I muttered, ducking into the back seat and sliding till I was pressed against Bucky. He didn’t make a sound, he barely even registered my presence. I was about to ask him if he was alright when I realized what he was doing. We all had our roles to play and Bucky was doing just that.

Sam climbed in next to me and we took off, me sandwiched between the two men trying to convince myself that I could do this. I could pretend to be someone I wasn’t to get answers, but my nerves was convincing me I was going to mess it up for us. No margin for error, Zemo’s words bounced around in my brain. He’d said our lives depended on it. They depended on whether or not I could keep it together. Sam must have sensed my anxiety because I felt his palm slide against my clammy one and squeeze. I sent a shaky one back, taking what comfort I could that I didn’t have to do this alone.

We were escorted in by a motorcade till we got to the seedier part of the city, the bridge we parked under painted with graffiti. Sam helped me out of the car and Zemo took our group through the back way into the city. As we crossed the overhead bridge, looking down into the city, I began to feel like my life had suddenly become some fever dream. Even more so once we entered the city and I was surrounded by people from all walks of life. Smugglers were making deals, guards were stationed outside buildings with machine guns, forgers were trying to sell to people. It was like nothing I’d ever seen. Sam kept me on his arm the entire time, selling our characters while still retaining his protective nature. We followed Zemo into a crowded bar, weaving our way through. “Here we are,” he announced quietly, our fellow patrons took notice as soon as they caught sight of Bucky, “Gotov podchinit'sya, zimniy soldat?” (Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?)

I tried my best to keep my face neutral, though an unwelcome chill went down my spine as Zemo began his act. It was wrong. It wasn’t fair to Bucky or his recovery to make him do this.

We approached the bar and the bartender came over immediately, “Hello, gentlemen. Ma’am. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” “His plans changed,” Zemo explained, “We have business to do with Selby.”

The bartender looked over suspiciously at Sam, “The usual?” Sam nodded casually in response and the man walked away to begin prepping the drink. What took us by surprise was when he reached for a jar containing a dead snake rather than the bottle of alcohol. He proceeded to lay the reptile on a cutting board and slice its stomach open, I looked up to Sam who was doing his best to keep his composure. “Ah, Smiling Tiger,” Zemo jeered, “Your favorite.”

The bartender removed a piece of the snake’s guts and sunk it into a shot glass filled with vodka. I covered my mouth with my clutch to conceal my delight at the sight I was about to behold. Sam caught the action and addressed the bartender, “You know what? She’ll have one too.” “Oh, no, I don’t think so,” I quickly protested, waving it off as if it were a shot of tequila and not an animal intestine.

“No, girl, I insist,” Sam grinned phonily at me.

“They actually upset my stomach,” I giggled, glancing to the bartender, “Can’t hold my liquor to save my life, I’ll be up all night sick if it touches my lips. But you enjoy, sweetheart.” The bartender didn’t pay much attention to the exchange as he set the shot glass in front of Sam, who looked unconvincingly between the glass and Zemo. “I love these,” he stated, holding it up for us all to see.

“Cheers, Conrad,” Zemo clinked his glass against Sam’s.

Sam made several, hopefully convincing, noises of excitement about his drink. After giving it one last look, he shot it straight down, holding a thumbs up to the bartender afterwards.

“How badly are you trying not to throw up right now?” I whispered after the man had left.

“I can’t even hear you right now,” Sam replied in a strained voice, focusing on keeping the drink where it needed to be. An intimidating bearded man made us all turn around, he looked to Zemo. “I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.”

Zemo, ever the cool and collected presence, turned to the man. “I have no business with the Power Broker. But if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo gestured to Bucky, standing at his side.

“New haircut?” the man asked Bucky, who stayed silent.

“Or bring Selby for a chat,” Zemo finished.

The man left, leaving us with questions. “A power broker?” Bucky grumbled, “Really?” “Every kingdom needs its king,” Zemo replied, “Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.”

“Do you know him?” Sam inconspicuously asked. “Only be reputation the baron answered, “In Madripoor he is judge, jury, and executioner.”

I spotted another man approaching us, this one walking with a purpose. Zemo looked to Bucky, the show was about to start. “Zimniy Soldat,” Bucky nodded once, “Attask.” (Winter Soldier, attack.) As soon as the stranger thumped Zemo’s shoulder, Bucky sprang to action, his metal hand grabbing and twisting the man’s arm. He pushed him to the center of the room where he proceeded to twist it further before dropping him to the ground. The groans coming from him were sickening as he lay helpless, clutching his most likely broken arm. As another patron came up to attack, Bucky moved fast to disarm him before power kicking him into a table several times. I clung to Sam’s arm even tighter as Zemo shoved someone forward for Bucky to punch, sending him sliding across the floor.

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form,” Zemo slyly observed, from my side. It took everything in me not to send him flying across the room right then. He was enjoying this.

When Bucky lifted a man by his throat and slammed him down on the bar was when guns all over the bar were cocked. Sam grabbed onto Bucky’s metal arm, ready to pull him back to us and to reality. “Stay in character,” Zemo whispered, dead serious, “Or the whole bar turns on us.” Sam dropped his arm as Zemo leaned into Bucky, “Molodets, soldat.” (Well done, soldier.)

“Selby will see you now,” the bartender said, watching the scene in awe. Bucky slowly let the man go, gasping and groaning for air once he was freed. Sam looked over warily, “You good?” When Bucky faced us, his eyes met mine before they met Sam’s. I wished I could have concealed my reaction better for his sake, but the second he had attacked was the first time since we’d met that I’d been properly scared of him. It made the incident on the plane look like nothing. My mind knew he was just acting, pretending to be someone he once was for the sake of furthering our mission. But my blood ran just as cold with fear as it would have if the Winter Soldier was standing in front of me. Bucky’s eyes now were watery, filled with pain that he’d worked hard with his therapist to get through, now being brought back to life. Had the bar not been watching and had I not needed to stick with Sam, I’d have been at his side trying to make sure he was alright. Instead, I could only watch as he sniffled, nodded to Sam and followed Zemo to wherever we were going next.

We were escorted upstairs through a series of hallways with a heavily armed guard following us. A white haired woman sat in the middle of the room we were led to, tapping her fingers against the couch she lounged on. “You should know, Baron, people don’t just come into my bar and make demands.” Zemo smiled, “Not a demand. An offer.”

Sam and I took our places standing next to Selby, Bucky stood watch across from us, back in his act.

“A lot has changed since you were here last,” Selby spared a look at Bucky, “By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?”

“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo shrugged, “I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.”

Selby pointed a blind finger towards Sam, “You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger,” she eyed Sam suggestively and gave him a purr before turning her attention to me, “And what a lovely little dish you’ve got with you.” Internally I was struggling to stay calm and had never felt more exposed with the thin materiel of the dress over my body. “What’s the offer?” Selby grinned at Zemo.

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum,” Zemo replied, rising from his seat to circle Bucky, “And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want,” Zemo rubbed Bucky’s chin, playing with it to provoke him but knowing he could get away with it. I felt sick to my stomach.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember,” Selby approved, “I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately. Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but…things didn’t go as planned.”

I squeezed Sam’s arm, we were getting answers. The crazy, chaotic plan was actually working. “Is Nagal still in Madripoor?” Zemo asked.

“Oh, the bread crumbs you can have for free,” Selby’s flirtatious demeanor shifted as she stood to business-like, “But the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron. And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me.”

A sudden vibration tickled my arm from Sam’s suit pocket, it was his cell phone. He pulled it out hesitantly and looked down at it, I glanced over to see that it was Sarah calling.

“Answer it,” Selby ordered, Bucky had moved behind her to give us protection if need be, “On speaker.” The armed bodyguards moved in closer, it was clear we had no say in the matter. Sam unlocked his phone and pressed the speaker button, “Hello?” “Hey, um, we need to talk about this situation,” Sarah’s voice filled the air, sending an all too brief wave of peace through me, “It’s been drivin’ me nuts.”

“What situation exactly are you talkin’ about?” Sam replied stiffly. “Are you high? You know what situation, it’s the only situation me and you have.”

“What situation, Sarah?” Sam’s voice grew louder, “Say it.”

“The damn boat,” Sarah replied just as hard, “And watch your tone, okay? I let you slide at the bank.”

Sarah. The boat. Home. And here I was standing in a designer dress meeting with Indonesian crime bosses. Two unbelievable worlds were colliding on the call.

Sam scoffed and nervously chuckling, “Yeah, the bank. Laundered so much, yeah, they’ll come around.” “If that was the case, then why’d they dog you out, Big Time?”

“Yeah, you damn right I’m Big Time. You’ll see,” Sam paused menacingly, “When I have that banker killed.”

We almost had Selby convinced as I watched her pace around the room, we were so close to- “Cass! What’d I tell you about the Cheerios? I don’t have time for this!” Sarah yelled, “Sam, I’m sorry. Let me call you back, and make sure Y/n is with you too.” “Sam? Y/n?” Selby echoed the names, “Who are you? Kill them!”

A second after she had given the order, a bullet shot through the nearby window and struck her chest fatally. The four of us sprung to action, Sam landing punches on the guard stationed behind us while I used my energy to pull the machine gun from his grasp. Across from us, Bucky took care of the other guard. I handed the weapon to Sam and we took our positions in the back of the room, ready to retaliate against the hidden assassin. “They’re gonna pin this on us,” Sam panted, our backs against the wall.

“We have a real problem now,” Zemo said, unbelievably calm for someone in our situation, “So leave your weapons and follow my lead.” Bucky ripped the lock on the back door and the four of us filed down the staircase quick as we could. It dropped us back off in the middle of the city, we hurriedly made our way down the street where all heads were turning to us. “This is not good,” Zemo hurried. The words hung in the air for a grand total of five seconds before bullets started to rain down around us. Bucky, Sam and I tore down the street where in the chaos, Zemo took off in another direction.

“I can’t run in these heels!” Sam yelled over the gunfire. “Oh, I don’t wanna hear it,” I exclaimed, struggling to keep up with them in my stilettos, “Screw it!”

I threw my hands out to my side and lifted off the ground, keeping low enough to dodge any shots but stay close to Sam and Bucky. Two motorcycles sped after us promising more bounty hunters, Zemo caught up with us and killed two lone gunmen hiding behind a dumpster. Two perfectly aimed bullets came out of nowhere and lodged themselves in the heads of the cyclists chasing us.

“You seem to have a guardian angel,” Zemo observed as the three of us looked around for our savior.

“Well, this is too perfect,” a woman’s voice said, she appeared seconds later drawing back her hood and pointing a gun toward us, “Drop it, Zemo.”

Bucky stepped forward disbelievingly, “Sharon?” Sharon Carter. I recognized her only from the pictures I’d seen of her on the news when the shitstorm that branded her an enemy of the state went down. As she strode forward, ready to strike down the man responsible, I couldn’t say with certainty if she was an ally or not. “You cost me everything,” she seethed.

“Sharon, wait,” Sam, ever the steady presence, held a hand out and carefully came towards her, “Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” “Well, that explains why you guys are here and Selby’s dead.”

“So what are you doing here?” Bucky asked.

“I stole Steve’s shield, remember?” she answered, her face contorting, “I also took the wings for your ass,” she aimed her gun at Sam, “So that you could save his ass,” then at Bucky, “From his ass,” the gun landed on me after Zemo, “Your ass is new.” “I’ve had one hell of an initiation, trust me,” I replied, standing my ground between Bucky and Zemo.

Sharon turned back towards Sam, “Unlike you, I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up so I’m off the grid in Madripoor.”

“Don’t blow that smoke at me, I was on the run, too,” Sam recalled. “Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore,” Sharon shook her head sadly, “I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.”

“Listen, Sharon,” Bucky stepped forward, “We need your help. Please.” Sharon mirthlessly chuckled to herself, sighing afterwards as she made her decision. “This isn’t over. I have a place in High Town, you should be safe there for a while.”

While Sam roughly shoved Zemo forward to keep him in his line of sight, Bucky pressed a gentle hand to the small of my back to act as a guide through the dark alleyways. “You okay?” he asked quietly, quickly looking over at me. With everything he’d gone through in the last twenty minutes, the fight in the bar, the unshed tears in his eyes, Zemo talking about him like he was property to be traded, I couldn’t understand why he was asking if I was alright. He was what I was concerned with right now. “I will be once I get out of these shoes,” I joked, trying to get him to smile if at all possible. A corner of his lips turned upwards in a blink-and-you’d-miss-it flash, mine doing the same right after in some sort of relief.

Sharon led us to her car parked down a different alley, Sam shoved Zemo in the front seat while him, Bucky and I squeezed in the backseat once again. The difference between Low Town and High Town was visceral, Madripoor may have been dangerous no matter where you went but High Town provided a little more safety. When we arrived at Sharon’s house, greeted by two burly guards, the feeling of protection increased. The first room we entered was filled with artwork, statues and other priceless works that told us exactly what Sharon had done to afford her lifestyle in High Town.

“Looks like breaking all those laws is treating you well,” Sam commented as we walked through the room.

“Well, I thought if I had to hustle, might as well enjoy the life of a real hustler,” Sharon shrugged, far too goodheartedly for a true criminal, “You know how much I can get for a real Monet?” Sam grinned at his friend, “Deactivate your hustle mood, you sell fake Monets.”

“No, she means real,” Zemo corrected, “This gallery is specialized in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. Classics.” “I kinda thought that was implied,” I said, following Sharon and Zemo and beginning to relax in the shockingly calm environment, “No offense.” Sharon scoffed, “None taken, a girl’s gotta do what she can to survive. By the way, who are you?”

“Y/n Y/l/n,” I answered, “Sam’s sister.” “Hmm,” Sharon hummed, looking me over once before turning around to hurry Sam and Bucky along, “Come on, you guys need to change. I’m hosting clients in an hour. You,” she pointed to me, “Second door on your left, I’ll bring something up for you.” At the promise of shedding the over exposing dress and blistering heels, I had never moved faster in my life.

————

I took the opportunity to catch my breath while I could, the night had been a little too exciting than any of us had wanted. Sitting on the edge of Sharon’s bed with my elbows balanced on my knees, I felt the adrenaline rush I’d been running on start to subside.

The door opened, bringing in Sharon and her garment of choice. “This looked like it would fit you,” she said, tossing me a black jumpsuit that looked ten times more comfortable than what I was in. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out an outfit for herself, “I gotta change too, back to back?” “Works for me,” I replied, turning around and beginning to unzip the dress.

“So you said you’re Sam’s sister but your last name isn’t Wilson?” Sharon asked, I could hear the sound of her clothes hitting the floor.

“We grew up together,” I freed myself of the dress and kicked it to the corner of the room.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here though,” she said, “This is probably the shittiest family road trip you could go on so clearly there’s a reason.” I looked over to the wardrobe, a pair of black boots sitting on the floor next to it. I used my energy to levitate them and landed them at Sharon’s side. Her dry chuckle served as her reaction. “I kinda begged him to bring me,” I explained as I pulled the jumpsuit up my body, “He was going to send me back home before John Walker decided to not so subtly threaten me with the Sokovian Accords, figured I’d be safer here with them.” “Safer?” Sharon scoffed, “Did he say this before or after you were being shot at by bounty hunters?”

“Well, between getting shipped off to jail and going undercover with a superhero and a Super Soldier as protection, I’ll take my chances here.” I heard Sharon walk away, presumably finished dressing. I zipped up the suit and tightened the belt, turning around after to find her leaned up against her dresser with her hands in her pockets. “Look, I know we just met but let me do you a favor and shed some light on the subject of heroics. It’s all bullshit. The whole costume, nickname, swoop-in-and-save-the-day act is all hypocrisy. I get that you’re young, you’ve got,” she waved a hand at mine, “Whatever that is. Maybe you want to do some good, maybe you just want to feel like you’re a part of something. Maybe you didn’t think it through at all and just thought it would be cool to run with a superhero. But if you’re smart, you’ll get your ass on a plane to anywhere but here and stay clear of all this.”

There was so much going through my head that I wanted to throw back at her, proving her speech completely wrong. Then I remembered that this woman had sacrificed more than most had and the government had turned their backs on her. She’d stuck her neck out for Steve and Sam and had been punished for it. Plus, she was kind enough to give us refuge when she had every right now to. I wasn’t in a place to criticize her. If anything, she should have been a cautionary tale. “I’ve had these powers all my life and have never known what to do with them,” I responded, “I want to help people and this is the best way for me to do that. As easy as it would be for some people to walk away, this is personal and I can’t leave now.” Sharon stared back at me silently before pushing herself off the dresser and brushing past me. There were layers of her expression, if I could peel each one back I thought I might get to the sadness I suspected she felt regarding her current life status. She opened her wardrobe, pulled out a pair of combat boots and handed them to me. “Then take a step back and ask yourself how far you’re willing to go. And if the three of you live long enough to get there, is it going to be worth the hell that’ll come afterwards?” She gave me a half smile before leaving the room, her heavy words hanging in the air. Steve had been my friend, Sam was my brother and Bucky was quickly climbing the ranks of people I cared about. I was going to see this through to the end with them, but what was the end? Was it retrieving the rest of the serum and stopping the Flag Smashers? Was it only two of us returning? One? None? Questions I didn’t have the answers to swirled in my mind as I stared at the door, wondering what awaited us for the rest of the night.

----

A/N: Next chapter is going to be...let’s just say there’s gonna be a lot of developments. A lot. Hope you guys are enjoying it, let me know what you thought or if you’d like to be tagged.

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale @wanniiieeee @asoftie4bucky @edencherries @i-reblog-fics-i-like @ttalisa @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess @rinaispunk @weirdowithnobeardo @felicityofbakerstreet @godlypotterwhodiaries @eternalharry @voguesir @mizz-kraziii @okayline @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories @nicklet94 @intricate-melody @aesthethickks @stumbleonmywords @simplybarnes @21bruhs @lostinwonderland314 @superbookishhufflepuff @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @zozebo @fandomxreaders @kittengirl998 @sarai-ibn-la-ahad

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes imagine #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson x platonic!reader #marvel imagine

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kogatism · 2 years

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Did someone say another Noiz headcanon?

.... probably not, but here's another one anyways. Buckle up- its a long one.

It is canon that Noiz's grandmother on his mother's side is Japanese. So that explains why he knows fluent Japanese as well as his family. His family has a lot of respect for her, and they made sure that their Japanese heritage wouldn't disappear after she departed. Not to mention, his grandfather is also heavily influenced by Japan.

However, she never lived in Germany. There have been times she would go to visit, but she lived in... you guessed it, Midorijima. Despite her living there, the family rarely came to visit her and eventually she just got too old and frail to deal with the constant plane rides and time zone changes. She said to them if you want to see me you need to come visit me, but given Noiz's father's business, he didn't have many opportunities to travel for long periods of time, not to mention he wasn't a fan of Midorijima until the construction of Platinum Jail.

Despite Noiz's grandmother living in the Old Residential District, his father still insisted they stay in Platinum Jail for the whole visit... being the snob that he is. By they, I mean only Noiz's parents. Given Noiz was always locked away in a room, travelling was no exception, and Theo was left behind simply because he would throw a fit because Noiz couldn't come along. This saddened his grandmother, because she had a relatively close relationship with her grandchildren, but especially Noiz. She made it a point to send him things for his birthday every year and made sure to give him frequent calls. She had empathy for Noiz, knowing he couldn't help the way he was born, and she began to disdain her daughter and son-in-law for being so neglectful. So much so, she said she would no longer be visiting or allowing them to visit unless they brought Noiz along. To which they refused, or rather... Noiz's father refused.

So that brings us to when Noiz is 18, and his parents essentially just kicked him out, but they still got him an apartment to stay at while he goes to university . You heard that right, he went to college (originally as a business major). Since modern technology was often used for business, this is where he learned how to do coding and programming, (for things like creating websites, online marketing etc.) as simple as it was it became an immediate interest for him. He would spend hours upon hours learning everything he possibly could about code. To the point of where he ended up switching majors to Computer Science.

During this time, that's when he received a call from his grandmother, saying she was sick and wanted him to visit her. She informed him that no one else in the family was aware of her being ill, and asked him to come privately. That's when Noiz thought to himself 'this is my escape', to go no contact from his family. This is when he then dropped out from uni, and hopped on a plane to Midorijima.

Upon arrival, he stayed with his sick grandmother. She knew he wasn't exactly fit to take care of her because he didn't know what physical pain felt like, but he still tried his best given he loved her and also just missed her after not seeing her for so many years. It wasn't long until she passed, and Noiz was left alone in Midorijima. It was then he found out that her entire fortune was granted to him. It wasn't a ton, but it was enough to get him a fresh start. This is when he then discovered Rhyme, going under the alias Noiz and founded Ruff Rabbit after gaining significant reputation. This is also when he became even more closed off and stark than he already was, it was to mask the hurt he felt inside knowing the one person who cared about him was gone.

#WHEW #told ya it was a long one #it just adds more layers to his story #and why the hell he was even on the island in the first place #the whereabouts of his grandmother were never really confirmed as far as I know #and it was never explained why he's so into tech #he was so closed off from everything growing up that there's no way he could've learned or known much about that kind of thing #in my fic I'm writing I eventually will have a part where Aoba finds out all of this info #Also some other fun little details about his grandma #I think his close relationship with his grandmother also explains why he called Tae grandma #not only does he consider Aoba and her his family but he sees so much of the caring nature that his grandmother had in Tae #okay anyways that's it thank you #dmmd #noiz #noiz dmmd

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fanfic-archive · 3 years

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Meeting the Baron (1/7)

Chapter 1. Berlin, Germany

Summary: A call from your friends, Sam and Bucky, has you packing a bag and flying to Berlin. Maybe they should have mentioned something about the criminal that Bucky broke out of prison, the same man who was locked up after breaking up the Avengers. Maybe they should have mentioned what you were getting yourself into.

Word Count: 2172

The coffee you sipped at was bitter but if you weren’t going to get any sleep, you might as well fuel up on caffeine for the day. At least you got a few hours of sleep under your belt, and that was all you could ask for these days. You were just about to cross from your kitchenette to the couch until you heard your phone ringing.

With a sigh, you picked your phone up from the kitchen counter, becoming curious when you saw Sam’s name on the caller ID.

“Hey, what’s up?” you answered the call, heading for your couch.

“Hey, did I wake you?” Sam asked, pretty sure it was the early hours of the morning where you were.

“Nope” you sighed.

“I’m with Bucky-” he informed you, being interrupted by the other man.

“Hey, Y/n” Bucky’s voice was able to be heard in the background, making you chuckle a little.

“What trouble have you two started now?” you asked, knowing this call couldn’t be because of anything good.

“Nothing…well, we didn’t start it. We could use some help, another pair of hands and all that, do you think you could meet us?” Sam asked, but you could hear that he felt a little bad about it.

“Yeah, of course. Where?” you were always happy to help your two friends, even though the tasks were rarely easy.

“Berlin” Sam stated, making your eyes widen.

“What the hell are you doing in Berlin?” you asked, raising your voice slightly.

“It’s a long story, do you think you can meet us?” he asked again, clearly this was something that he had to explain to you in person.

“Sure, I’ll get there as soon as I can. I’ll let you know when I’ve landed” you shook your head at him, even though he couldn’t see it.

“Thank you.”

“No problem” you hung up the phone and looked around your dimly lit apartment. Should you pack a bag? Because it looked like you were heading for Germany.

After arriving in Berlin, Bucky sent you the location where you were supposed to be meeting them and you headed straight there. You met the two men in some form of garage, greeting them both with a friendly hug, before they filled you in on everything they had been up to. Which was much more than you had been expecting.

“…and you went in there alone?” you asked in disbelief. Sam and Bucky had just finished filling you in on their visit to Zemo and explaining exactly who Zemo was, it was a lot of information to process in one go. And after all of that, you couldn’t believe that Bucky went to speak with him alone.

“I was fine” Bucky assured you.

“And he wants to break him out” Sam added, bewildering you even more.

“After all of that, you, of all people, want to break him out of prison?” you asked Bucky, eyes wide. When you got a call from Sam, you knew it couldn’t be good, but this was beyond bad.

“Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?” Bucky asked.

“What did you do?” Sam asked accusingly.

“I didn’t do anything” Bucky defended himself but neither of you were buying it.

“Go on then, hypothetically?” you sighed, letting him continue.

“The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lock up, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond” Bucky informed you both.

“So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment?” Sam asked, squinting at him.

“Who knows? There could be many reasons…but the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated, and with all those bodies flying around left and right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two. And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated, someone could use the chaos to their advantage” Bucky finished, not liking the look on your or Sam’s face.

“I don’t know the guy but I’m guessing all that would be bad” you looked to Sam.

“Oh, it would be bad” Sam nodded.

“In that case, I don’t like how detailed this hypothetical is…” you turned back to Bucky, just wanting him to tell you that all of that truly was a hypothetical.

“Yeah, I don’t like how casual you’re being about this. This is unnatural. Are you…and where are we man?” Sam cut himself off to ask the question that both of you had been wondering. Why were you here and what was going on?

As if on cue, the sound of a door opening and closing got your attention, making you all turn in time to see a man approaching. He was wearing a prison guard uniform, which seemed suspicious after Bucky’s little speech.

“Bucky…?” you asked without talking your eyes off of the man, wanting him to explain what was going on.

But Sam seemed to recognise the man from the way he reaction, Bucky had to get in front of him and stop him from approaching the man. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t let this happen” Bucky explained to him.

They quickly made it known to you that this was the Zemo they had been telling you about and, after a little bit of convincing, you and Sam agreed to trust Bucky on this. If he could deal with working with him, so could you.

“So, who is your friend?” Zemo asked, looking to you expectantly.

“Y/n” you told him simply.

“Baron Helmut Zemo” he introduced himself as he held his hand out for you to shake.

You were unsure at first but decided to just step forward and go to shake his hand, but Sam was quick to intervene. “Ah, none of that” he pushed your arm down and pulled you back to his side, shooting a glare at the criminal.

“Apologies” Zemo nodded, seemingly unphased by Sam’s reaction.

Zemo led you all through into another room and pulled a switch, the lights flickering on overhead to reveal a warehouse filled with vintage cars, all of which you were sure were expensive.

“So, our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam asked sarcastically, seemingly unimpressed.

“These are mine. Collected by family over the generations” Zemo informed the three of you.

“Oh, so you’re like…rich-rich” you commented without thinking, more to yourself than anything. But the three men had heard and looked at you, Sam and Bucky seeming unimpressed but Zemo had the smallest of amused smiles on his face. “What?” you asked when you noticed the men looking at you.

“Yes, I supposed you could say that I’m…’rich-rich’” Zemo nodded, using your own term, and you just nodded in response. “I’m a Baron. My family was royalty until the Avengers destroyed my country” he explained as he opened the door of one of the cars and started grabbing his belongings.

“Royalty? So, he really is like…proper rich-rich” you murmured to Sam, they failed to inform you of these details.

“Will you stop?” Sam looked down at you.

“I just wasn’t expecting it” you defended yourself with a small shrug, making him chuckle a little.

More importantly, you also hadn’t expected the criminal to be so…attractive, especially after just getting out of prison. That was another thing that took you by surprise, a part of you hoped that he would turn out to be annoying or rude, otherwise you could see yourself liking this guy.

The next thing you knew, you were on Zemo’s private jet being filled in on the details of Madripoor and the person you were supposed to be meeting there. Zemo had also informed you that he had arranged a place to spend the night, in order to prepare for the meeting tomorrow evening.

It was a small safe house by the looks of it, located in the backstreets of a rouge city, you couldn’t imagine Zemo ever staying here for long, but it would do for now. The four of you were in the main room, a lounge and a kitchenette, talking about the plan.

“Right so, you’re going in as you, Sam as this Smiling Tiger guy, and Bucky as…as the Winter Solider. Where does that leave me?” you asked, cringing a little at the thought of Bucky having to pretend to be that, it can’t be easy for him.

“Unfortunately, I do not have an identity for you to steal but it will be easy to make one for you” Zemo assured you but the three of you were still wondering what he had planned.

“I have a fake ID guy if you need him” you joked, earning a slight glance from Sam before he looked back at Zemo.

“Not necessary. You will pose as my date” the Baron informed you.

“No” all three of you responded at the same time.

“It is the only unsuspicious way to get you into the meeting without having an important name” Zemo sighed, trying to convince the three of you.

“…fine” you gave in after a moment of consideration. How awful could that actually be? And if he tried anything, you would break his hand. You would be fine.

“You don’t have too; we can just meet up with you after” Sam assured you.

“There is no way I’m going to sit around while you two go in there. It’ll be fine, what’s the worst that could happen?” you insisted. You did not fly out to Germany and then to Madripoor just to sit around and wait for them to come back.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to say that” Bucky commented.

“…oops?” you responded, making Bucky laugh a little to himself.

At some point, you all had decided to get some rest, though you doubted it would come easily. The meeting was important and you all had to be ready, and that meant being well-rested, no matter how unlikely it was to happen.

Unsurprisingly, you found yourself wandering back to the main room when you couldn’t get to sleep. A little more surprisingly, you found Zemo sitting on the couch but neither of your friends, you assumed that they were still somewhere else in the safe house getting some rest.

You ignored the man, heading straight for the kitchenette to get yourself a glass of water, but he wasn’t as dedicated to ignoring you. “Sleeping problems?” Zemo asked from the couch, watching you get a drink.

“Just jet lag” you lied without looking over at him.

“You were not an avenger” Zemo observed as he stood from the couch, walking over to you.

“No, I wasn’t” you nodded.

“So, forgive me for not being familiar with you” he hummed.

“You’re forgiven. I’d rather you not know my name than know everything about me like you do the others” you confessed, finally turning to him, glass in hand.

“I never said that I don’t know anything, I’m a quick learner” he informed you, sounding sure of himself.

“Sure, whatever that means” you mumbled, taking a sip of water.

“So, how do you know Sam and James?” he asked.

“I was just friends with them” you answered honestly. You weren’t an Avenger, you weren’t a superhero, but you were a capable friend that they trusted.

“Just a friend who would risk going against the US government because of a phone call” Zemo hummed, acknowledging that you were doing a big favour for your two friends.

“Eh, what has the US government ever done for me?” you joked dismissively. This time Zemo didn’t respond, he just looked at you, tilting his head to the side slightly. “What are you doing?” you questioned, feeling like he was analysing you.

“Learning” he answered quietly, with a small shrug.

“Look, my friends called me for help, people are dying, and John Walker is Captain America. I’m just trying to help out before things get any weirder” you told him, placing the glass down and planning to leave.

“How heroic” Zemo sarcastically commented.

“I’m no hero, I know how you feel about them” you folded your arms over your chest, you weren’t in the mood to have this discussion.

“Ah, so, you do know me” he smirked a little, having assumed that you didn’t really know who he was.

“Sam and Bucky filled me in. I don’t care, as long as you’re helpful” you shrugged.

“I am” he promised with a nod.

“Good” you nodded back.

“Goodnight, Y/n” Zemo gave you a small smile before turning and leaving the room.

You couldn’t decide what to think about the Baron. You didn’t have the history with him that the others had but you hated what he put them through, but something about him just seemed…oddly likable. The sooner this whole thing was over and things went back to normal, the better.

#Helmut Zemo x reader #Zemo x reader #Baron Zemo x reader #helmut zemo #zemo #baron zemo #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws

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obwjam · 3 years

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“I watched you from the walls for years, you really can’t embarrass yourself further in front of me.” With Scott Lang please :)

“I watched you from the walls for years, you really can’t embarrass yourself further in front of me.”

yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes A THOUSAND TIMES YES

from this post

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Times were tough at the Lang residence. Scott wasn’t allowed to leave the house, his daughter was only allowed to visit on weekends, and worst of all, he worried about his future. How could an ex-con like him find work again? How could he possibly put behind everything he had been through in Germany? Often times, he sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, TV off, staring blankly at the wall.

Other times, he danced.

He wasn’t very good at it, but hey, who was watching? Scott would rev up his ever-growing 80s playlist, crank his speakers up to ten and let his arms flail and his legs go wild. For an hour and forty-six minutes, he would dance and sing and act out fight scenes he had choreographed in his head until he was just about ready to pass out.

Today was an especially stressful day. Cassie was sick and didn’t want to come, so for the first Saturday afternoon in a while, Scott was alone. There really wasn’t anything good on TV, and he had a nightmare the night before. If the good vibes wouldn’t come to him, he would make them himself.

He was maybe an hour into the playlist when he closed his eyes, spun around on one socked foot, struck a pose, and opened his eyes to the most confusing sight he had ever seen.

You were, in a word, fascinated with this human. For whatever reason, he never left the house anymore, which made borrowing close to impossible, but he was boisterous and goofy and just the right amount of weird. Eating cereal and crying at black and white Spanish movies at 10 p.m. was not normal human behavior, but it was normal for this one.

The dancing was especially entertaining. It was like a free show every day. The music was catchy and you had learned the words. Sometimes, you even danced with him. You discovered this crack in the old wood that allowed you to sit in its threshold and observe the human.

You were so caught up in the music that when Scott’s eyes landed on you, it took you a few seconds to realize what was going on.

Though Scott was staring right at you, he still couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. A tiny person? In his house? He squinted — no, it wasn’t Hank or Hope. They didn’t appear to be wearing a suit, either. Just some makeshift clothing. Was this a new Avenger with shrinking powers, sent to spy on him? Was it the government?

For some reason, you weren’t very scared. Years of watching the human from afar told you that he was a very relaxed person. He wasn’t overly excitable and didn’t seem to have a malicious bone in his body. You certainly didn’t mean to be seen, but it also didn’t seem like the worst possible thing that could have happened. It almost felt inevitable.

Scott stared at you, mouth agape and a thousand thoughts swirling around his mind like a hurricane. He realized he was still stuck in a ridiculous pose, so he put his arms back to his side and straightened himself. He should have figured there were real-life tiny people. Why else would Hank want to build shrinking technology?

You were staring back, mouth also agape and equally fascinated by what was in front of you. But Scott didn’t think you’d break the ice, so it was up to him.

“Um... hi,” Scott said, awkwardly giving a small wave. “What are you doing in my house?”

You tilted your head. For a human, he didn’t seem to be very surprised at what he was seeing. You lifted your arm and grabbed onto the wood for support as you spoke up. “Uh... I live here.”

“You live here? Last time I checked, I live here. Oh, no, they didn’t take my house away, did they?”

“What?” you blurted. “Who’s they?”

“Woo didn’t send you here, did he?”

“Woo? Woo who?”

“Jeez, you don’t need to act so excited about it.”

“Hold up!” you yelled, throwing your hands up. Scott pressed his lips together. “What... what are you talking about?”

“You’re government, aren’t you? Here to keep tabs on me, make sure I’m not breaking the Accords?”

“Government?” You blinked in disbelief. “You think I work for the government?”

“Well...” Scott started to attempt an explanation, but couldn’t really find one. “Why else would you be here?”

“I told you. I live here.”

“...so you’re not government.”

“Oh brother,” you mumbled to yourself, taking an exasperated seat. “Um. No?”

“...You wouldn’t happen to be an Avenger, would you?”

“An Avenger? Am I missing something here?”

“Well excuse me for trying to come up with an explanation as to why there’s someone sitting on my wall who’s two inches tall!”

“Hey, I’m four inches, thank you very much,” you scoffed.

Scott ran a hand through his hair. This wasn’t going very well at all. You sighed and took a breath. You could understand why he’d be so flustered.

“No, I’m not government. Or an Avenger. I’m just... a regular borrower.”

Scott stared at you blankly, trying to piece together what a borrower could be, before it dawned on him and his eyes went wide. “Oh wow. You’re really just that small!”

“I didn’t think that was even in question.”

“Gosh, sorry, that’s really embarrassing of me.” He let out a laugh. “An Avenger. What was I thinking?”

His laugh made you laugh. “I watched you from the walls for years, you really can’t embarrass yourself further in front of me.”

“Oh, trust me, I’ve done a lot of embarrassing things in my life. Being put in a maximum security prison’s definitely up there. I’m used to small jails, you know?”

You gave him a quizzical stare.

“This ankle monitor is pretty bad, too, though I— wait a second. Did you say you’ve been watching me for years? ”

You gulped. You thought he either didn’t hear that part or didn’t care.

“I—um, I mean, I was just — I was speaking metaphorically—”

Scott’s expression immediately softened. “Woah, hey, I’m not mad!” He realized he was gazing down at you, and he lowered himself ever so slightly to be at your eye level. Now, he could see the way you gripped the wall protectively. “I’m just... confused. What do you mean you’ve watched me from the walls?”

“It means I live in your walls!” you cried, not realizing how shaky your voice had gotten. You steadied your breathing before continuing. “That’s what borrowers do. We live in the walls of houses.”

“Like mice?”

You sniffed a laugh. “Yes, like mice. Which I help keep away from here, mind you. When was the last time you saw a mouse around here?”

“Oh, gosh, I can’t even remember. Years ago.” You smirked and raised your eyebrow, and once it clicked, Scott’s eyes lit up.

“That’s so cool!” Scott smiled. You knew he was a quirky human, but even you were a bit surprised at how nonchalant he was being. “Do you use those little toothpicks that look like a sword?”

“There are toothpicks that look like swords?”

“Oh yeah!” Scott grinned. “They’d be perfectly your size, actually.”

“Huh. Y’know, that might actually be helpful to shoo away beetles and spiders.”

Scott grimaced. He had gotten used to ants, but spiders is where he drew the line. “Oh, gross.”

“It’s just a part of the job,” you shrugged. There was an awkward pause before you spoke again. “I, um. I’m sorry for startling you.”

“No, no,” Scott shook his head, “I’m sorry for making you listen to the same music all the time!”

“No, it’s fine, I... I actually kinda like it,” you blushed. “Usually, borrowers keep themselves hidden. Most humans aren’t as... entertaining as you.”

Scott smiled, not even realizing that maybe that wasn’t a compliment. It felt exhilarating just to have a face-to-face conversation with someone who wasn’t his family or was legally obligated to talk to him.

“You wanna come to the living room?” he asked suddenly. You furrowed your brow. “It’ll be more comfortable than sitting on that ledge.”

“Well, I can’t exactly sit on the couch,” you said slowly, meekly gesturing at yourself with your head.

“You can sit on the table, it’s fine! I’ve got snacks.”

“Snacks...” you repeated. Even though this went against every single borrower code you knew of, it felt stupid to pass up this offer. If the human wasn’t going to hurt you, then why not make him your ally?

“Sure, why not,” you said finally, standing up. Scott couldn’t help but stare at you in awe.

“Here,” he said, standing back up to his full height and sticking his hand out in front of you. “I can carry you there!”

“Oh...” you said, staring at the hand hesitantly. “I can just walk, you know—”

“Psh! That’ll take too long. Trust me.” You didn’t know why he would know anything about that, but frankly, his weird choice of words was the last thing on your mind. Scott took notice. “Oh, you’re... sorry, I didn’t mean to assume. It’s just right across the hall, we don’t have to go far at all. It’ll be fine.”

You gave him a skeptical look, but at this point, you didn’t have much of a choice. This is what you wanted, anyway.

“I guess this is the one drawback,” you muttered, keeping a firm grip on the wall as you lowered yourself onto his palm. “Humans can’t take no for an answer.”

“What was that?”

“Oh, uh, I—I said. Quite the view from up here.”

“Hah, yeah, I know!”

There it is again, you thought. That weird choice of words.

The trip to the living room was, as promised, short. You were only in his hand for about 15 seconds before you hopped off onto the familiar sight of the coffee table. The bowl of peanuts and candy was filled to the brim, as usual, but you supposed you should act like you’ve never been here before.

“So,” Scott said, reaching into the bowl and popping some M&M’s into his mouth before flopping onto the couch. “What’s your name? I bet you already know mine.”

“I’m (Y/n),” you said, eyeing the bowl. “Can I...”

“Oh, go ahead!” Scott smiled. He watched in delight as you grabbed a peanut that was larger than a football. You bit into it like an apple, and Scott could hardly suppress his grin.

“This is amusing for you?” you asked with a smirk. Scott immediately shook his head, but the smile was still present. “Yeah, I guess I probably look hilariously small to you.”

“Well... only a little.” Scott leaned back into the couch cushion. “So you’ve really been inside my walls this whole time and I had no idea?”

“Yup,” you said with a mouthful of peanut. “Been here for a long time.”

“How do you even live? Eat? Bathe?!”

You turned your gaze to the table. “You won’t like the answer.”

Scott thought about it for a moment, but it didn’t take long for him to connect the dots. “Oh. Oh.”

“Yeah,” you blushed. “But it’s either take crumbs off your counter or starve, so. I choose not to starve.”

“Well, you’re welcome to have dinner with me from now on. I cook just for myself anyway, it’ll be nice to have some company.”

“About that... why are you here all the time? You used to only be here at night.”

Scott sighed deeply. “It’s a long story.”

He seemed uncharacteristically upset about that, so you cleared your throat and pivoted back to what he was saying before. “You’d really let me eat with you?”

“Sure, why not?” Scott seemed genuinely surprised that you would even ask.

“I mean, this has gotta seem a little... weird to you, does it not? In fact, I — well, there are a lot of stories about humans discovering borrowers, and they’re not often pleasant. You... you don’t really seem to care.”

Scott pursed his lips. “That’s another long story.”

“Oh.” Jeez, what is up with this guy?

“I mean, if you’ve really been... in my walls all this time...” He shuddered before continuing. “Then you know how lonely it’s been around here. Heck, it probably gets really lonely all by yourself in the walls, too.”

You nodded.

“Well, I’ve got a lot of questions for you, and I know you’ve got a lot for me... I won’t force you to stay if you don’t want to, but I think — it might be nice to get to know each other, right?”

You gave Scott an almost incredulous look. Maybe all those human tales were just old folk stories of days past, meant to scare children into staying close to home. You were hardly nervous that Scott had any malicious intent. You just almost couldn’t believe this was happening.

“What about your daughter? Isn’t she supposed to be coming this weekend? I’d rather her, uh, not see me.”

Scott sat up a bit. “You know about Cassie?”

“Um. Lived here for years, remember?”

“Right, right. Uh, n-no, no, she’s sick, she’s not coming. Huh.” Scott shook his head. “Wow. You must know, like, everything about me, then.”

Your face flushed red. “I mean, yes and no. I don’t just sit and stare at you to pass the time. It’s-it’s actually pretty strange for me too. We’re not supposed to talk to humans. It’s kind of the big number one rule.”

“What normally happens?”

“Well.” You paused, looking up at Scott’s expectant face. It was hard to hold eye contact, and your gaze flickered back to the table. “It’s a long story.”

Scott huffed a laugh. “I get it. Looks like we both have our own baggage.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Look, if you wanna... go back into that hole in the wall, you can. I told you, I won’t make you stay. But the offer is always there. I’m probably just gonna order a pizza tonight. You ever had pizza?”

You pursed your lips. Should you really be telling him all the things you’ve stolen from right under his nose?

Scott sighed. Maybe this wasn’t the weirdest thing for him, but he knew he couldn’t say the same for you. Your sideways glances had grown increasingly nervous ever since he brought you to the living room. You carried yourself well, but it was clear you were uneasy about all of this.

Wordlessly, Scott placed his hand down in front of you. He frowned when you winced at it.

“It’s quicker if I just bring you back,” he said sheepishly.

You picked your half-eaten peanut off the table and cleared your throat. “I-I’m sorry. I think I underestimated how odd this would feel. You... you’re just, really different than the human I lived with growing up. In a good way.”

Scott smiled weakly. “Just wait ‘til you get to know me.”

You laughed as you climbed onto his hand. You sat down for balance as he stood up, unable to take his eyes off you. You stared straight ahead as he took the short journey back, and in a few moments, you were right back where you started.

Staring at each other.

“Well (Y/n), it was nice—”

“You know,” you said, raising your voice to cut him off. “I have had pizza before. But I’ve never tried ice cream.”

Scott gasped. “Never had ice cream?! Lucky for you, I’ve got some chocolate in the freezer— oh. Oh! You... you want to have some dessert later?”

You smiled amusingly. “You catch on quick.”

“Yeah, it’s a specialty of mine,” Scott said, stretching his arms in the air. “Gosh, it’s already 7:30. How about ice cream at 9?”

“I, uh, don’t have a clock with me,” you admitted. “Why don’t you just... knock when you’re ready?”

Scott chuckled. “Knocking on the walls to my own house? People’ll start to think I’m crazy.”

You blinked at Scott, Scott blinked at you, and you both burst out laughing. For a moment, you forgot that Scott was a hundred feet tall and he forgot you could fit in his palm. It shouldn’t have been that funny, but it was. It all was.

Scott wiped a tear from his eye and sighed. “Oh, man. Okay. I should order before they close. See you soon?”

You smiled. In between the bad jokes, the awkward silences and the fits of laugher, you decided all this weirdness was worth it.

“Yeah. See you soon, Scott.”

#scott is the nonchalant KING #just so easy to launch into conversation with #nothing like two people who think they should be feeling weird who dont actually feel all that weird #this is all just one big excuse for me to practice dialogue #obwrites #marvel g/t

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rax-writes · 3 years

Text

Family Man

Fandom: MCU Pairing: Baron Helmut Zemo x OC [basically a reader insert, because the OC’s physical description isn’t addressed or anything, she just has a name] Warnings: None Notes: A Sokovian woman named Irina Molnár was born with the ability to teleport, and in time, she encounters the only man to gain her trust enough to show him. It just so happens that the man in question is the criminal mastermind Helmut Zemo. // So, as I said, it’s an OC but still basically a reader insert; don’t let the OC part deter you if you prefer x reader fics. It just worked better for me on the writing end to use a name, and I have an aversion to using “Y/N,” so I just threw in a pretty name. // TL;DR: Zemo as a dad just kills me & I wanted him to get a second chance at a family.

“I will assist you to the utmost of my ability, on one condition.”

“You’re in no position to be making demands, Zemo.”

“This is both for my own benefit, and yours, I assure you.”

If someone had asked Irina ten years ago where she thought she’d be at this point in life, her answer would have been incredibly far from accurate, for nothing could have predicted the path her life took.

Not that her life had been normal to begin with, being that she was born with the ability to teleport. Sokovia was not exactly a progressive country in the late 1980’s, so her parents had endlessly instructed her to conceal her ability, warning her of the countless dangers of her power being known to others. Her parents were so protective of her that when she teleported as a reflex at age thirteen, after walking along the sidewalk of main street in Novi Grad and a driver fell asleep at the wheel and headed straight for her, they packed up and moved to Russia in the middle of the night. Yet again, the same thing happened at age eighteen, when she was caught up in a hostage situation in a bank and the perpetrator caught her calling the police. Just as he aimed his gun at her and pulled the trigger, she disappeared. Irina and her parents fled to Germany in the dead of night less than twenty-four hours later, and she knew then that she needed to suppress her powers no matter what, being that her father was elderly, and her mother was too ill for them to ever travel again.

So, Irina settled into a normal life in Munich. She worked various odd jobs over the years to support her parents, made and lost a few friends, dated here and there. Her father passed when she was twenty-two, and two years later, her mother joined him. When living in the house where both her parents passed in their sleep became too unbearable, she packed up and moved to Berlin, getting a job at a high-security prison there. Less than a year after she began working there, a newcomer arrived: an inmate by the name of Helmut Zemo.

Being that he knew so much about HYDRA, from his extensive research on them, the American organization SHIELD wished to know more about them. A few psychiatrists and some professional interrogators tried for the first couple months, but they got nothing – quite literally, as he refused to utter a single word to any of them. Irina’s boss knew that she was Sokovian just like Zemo, so she was asked to extract any and all valuable information she could from the new prisoner.

Zemo was an intimidating man; calm, cool, and collected at all times, with eyes like a hawk that bore into Irina’s very soul each time he looked at her. She spent two months talking with him every other day, trying anything and everything she could to get him to talk, but he remained silent. At first, she tried asking him questions outright, but he wouldn’t ever say a word – just stare at her with those cold, calculating eyes. So, Irina changed her approach; they would chat idly in Sokovian to build rapport via their shared mother tongue, or she would ramble about her day, what book she was currently reading, her favorite movies, dates she went on. Those topics got him talking, chatting with her about the miscellaneous subjects she brought up, and both she and her supervisors took it as a good sign. She found that they shared similarities in terms of the loss of their families, and how the destruction of Sokovia hurt them both. Despite how frequently they spoke, he still never revealed anything of importance. After two months, her boss had a few interrogation experts give her some training, so she tried their tactics for another month, but she still got nowhere with him.

Three months after Irina began trying to get intel from Zemo, she sat down in the chair outside his cell, and huffed out a sigh.

“I’m afraid this will be my last visit, Zemo.”

“Why?” His voice held surprise, and a tinge of sadness.

“As you know, they assigned me to visit you for the sake of getting information from you. I’ve been consistently empty-handed over the past four months, so they’re giving up, assigning me back to regular patrol duty.”

“Will I still see you?”

“No. They’re moving me to the women’s side of the prison next week.”

Zemo simply stared at the ground in silence, hands clasped in his lap. Irina allowed the silence to linger for several minutes, then pulled something from her bag, unlocked the small opening on the side of his cell where guards gave him meals, slid the item through, and locked it shut again. He eyed it for a moment before standing and retrieving it, sitting back down on the bed as he looked at it.

“It’s that book I told you about last month, the one you said sounded interesting. Consider it a parting gift.”

He still said nothing, gaze locked on the book cover. Irina cleared her throat and stood, putting her bag on her shoulder as she looked to Zemo one last time.

“It has been nice getting to know you, Zemo. Take care of yourself.”

As Irina pulled open the door to leave, Zemo’s voice called out, “Wait!” She turned to face him and found that he was standing, clenching and unclenching his jaw as if he were thinking, before stating, “Tell your superiors that I will give them one piece of information on HYDRA every two months if you will have lunch with me twice each week.”

Irina’s brows raised in surprise, but she nodded in understanding. “I’ll pass the message along, Zemo.”

“Please… call me Helmut.”

The higher-ups were more than happy to agree to his terms, as long as Irina was okay with them as well, since it involved her. But she wasn't stupid. She told them that it felt like quite an undertaking to agree to such a thing, she had been considering looking for another job in the near future, etcetera. Naturally, they offered to double her pay to persuade her to commit to the arrangement, and it was then that she agreed. In truth, it was no skin off Irina’s nose to do it in the first place. As deranged as it was, Zemo had become her friend, her only friend, and she quite enjoyed talking with him. And even more deranged – bordering psychotic, really – she had developed a bit of a crush on him, finding him to be dangerously handsome and intelligent, so she certainly had no quarrels with agreeing to spend time with him.

Time seemed to fly when Irina began her twice weekly visits to Zemo. She found herself eagerly awaiting their lunches, and she always stayed longer than necessary. She would have rather eaten glass than admit it, but she frequently put a bit more effort into her hair and makeup on the days she would be seeing him.

God, I’m fucking pathetic, Irina thought to herself at least once a week, and yet it never stopped her.

It was another few months later when he said something that made her stomach drop to the pits of hell, and a cold sweat to break out on her skin.

“I know who you are, you know. I have since you first introduced yourself. Irina Molnár, the disappearing girl – at least, that’s what the headlines called you. I remember reading about it when I was a teenager, but the story was forgotten within a week.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Irina replied, but Zemo could hear the quiver in her voice.

“My apologies, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable. I have no intention of mentioning it to anyone besides you. I have simply been wondering… were the rumors true? Can you really just disappear into thin air?”

When Irina hesitated, he added, “Irina, no one would believe me if I told them, and even if they did, they would have no way to prove it. Besides, we have been acquainted for nearly a year now. You are my only solace in this living hell. I would have gone mad had you not came into my life. I would never do anything to risk you harm.”

She exhaled slowly, and looked at the ground when she said, “It’s not ‘disappearing.’ It’s teleporting.”

Zemo leaned forward in his seat, visibly invested in her confession.

“I’ve been able to do it since I was four. Scared my parents half to death when I suddenly appeared before their eyes, having been across the house mere seconds before. I learned to control it pretty quickly, but that day in Sokovia… I was only ten years old, and a car was coming right at me, full speed, so I panicked. I teleported home right before it crushed me, and it would have been a non-issue if my classmate hadn’t been a few feet away and saw the whole thing. He ran his mouth to the press about my identity, so we had to leave.”

“That was why you moved to Russia, not because your father got a job there,” Zemo realized, remembering when you initially told him about your move and falsified the reasoning.

“Yes. It happened again there, when someone shot at me. No one who was around at the time knew my name, so it never made it to the press, but my parents were overly cautious, so we fled to Germany. I’ve not done it since, besides in the comfort of my own home.”

“Show me.”

“You say stupid things for such a brilliant man, Helmut,” Irina said, nodding toward the camera in the corner of the room.

“After you get home tonight, teleport into my cell.”

“Did you miss what I said about the camera, or…?”

“The camera does not have a view of my bed. It only reaches the middle of my cell, not the very back of it where the bed is,” Zemo pointed out, and Irina realized that he was right. She had been in the camera room several times; the camera there did indeed only show the room and half of his cell, never the bed.

“I’ll think about it.”

Zemo smiled brightly, looking excited, like a little kid about to see a magic trick. That alone was enough to motivate Irina to do it, just for the opportunity to see that smile again. So, when she got home that night, she changed into a flowy, deep green sundress, touched up her makeup and hair, strapped on a nice pair of sandals, and then stood in her living room, hyping herself up to take such a risk.

There was a chance that she would get caught. Teleporting in front of anyone was always a risk, no matter what, her parents had always told her. But then that damned, dashing smile crossed Irina's mind, and before she had time to second-guess herself, she was standing at the foot of Zemo’s bed.

The book he’d been reading flew out of his hands as he practically jumped out of his skin, falling to the ground with a loud whack, and he pressed a palm to his chest as he tried to calm his erratic breathing.

“We really should have scheduled a specific time for your arrival,” he muttered, and Irina laughed softly. Thankfully, the cameras had no sound, but if a guard were passing by outside, they may have heard her. When he caught his breath a moment later, Zemo sat up in the bed, letting his legs hang off the edge as he patted the spot beside him. Irina took a seat, crossing her legs and leaning back on her hands.

“So, you were telling the truth. You can actually teleport,” Zemo observed, eyeing her with amusement and interest before he bombarded her with questions. “Can you teleport anywhere in the world? Are there parameters for your distance or location? How long does it take you to travel from one place to another? What does it feel like?”

“I can teleport anywhere I’ve been to or seen photographs of. I cannot do it blindly. The distance nor location does not matter, as long as I have seen my destination before. And it feels like… a slight tingling sensation, all over my body, but it only lasts until I arrive, which takes about a half second.”

“Fascinating,” Zemo whispered. He licked his lips before asking, “Are you capable of teleporting another individual along with you?”

Irina frowned at him. “I’m not breaking you out of prison, Helmut.”

“I didn’t ask that.”

“No, but you were alluding to it,” she countered, and he shrugged. “I can teleport another individual, but only over small distances. Each time I’ve tried, the most distance I’ve gotten with another person has been about ten yards.”

“Perhaps with practice, you could go further.”

“I practiced for years, and ten yards seems to be the true limit. Besides, the only others who have ever known about my ability were my parents, and since they’re gone, I have no test subjects.”

Zemo nodded solemnly, then asked, “What about teleporting repeatedly, in ten yard increments?”

“Tried that. Can only do it about three times before I’m too drained to do it again. Teleporting back-to-back with another person takes a lot of energy,” Irina answered, then added, “And again, even if I could, I am not breaking you out.”

“I am merely interested in your mutation, that is all,” Zemo retorted. Irina shot him a look that said ‘Really?’ so he relented with, “Perhaps also because I wanted to know if you could break me out, but that’s neither here nor there.”

"That's what I thought."

It was another month before either party made a move. They were sitting on Zemo’s bed, side by side, as Irina told him about her day at work, and the man who'd tried hitting on her in the grocery store earlier that evening.

"He thought he was very Rico Suave, but his execution was a nightmare."

"How so?"

"Well, for starters, he followed me around for nearly ten minutes while he worked up the courage to say something. He waited until I walked past him and greeted me with 'Hey, sexy lady.'"

"Oh no," Zemo said, grinning as he looked genuinely amused at this man's poor tactics, although his amusement was contingent upon whether or not Irina was actually interested in him. The way she poked fun at the man indicated a lack of interest, therefore, he was enjoying her tale.

"Oh yes. He then asked if it hurt when I fell from heaven, which is the most overused line in the book, yet he said it with such confidence. And then – get this – he leaned onto what he thought was a shelf, but it was actually a stacked display of cans, which toppled over and sent a hundred soup cans flying down the aisle."

Zemo chuckled, prompting Irina to continue.

"He played it off by saying that my beauty is just so distracting that he didn't even realize what he was doing, and then asked for my phone number."

"Did you give it to him?"

"Absolutely not," Irina said, laughing softly and shaking her head. Zemo was momentarily entranced by the way her beautiful hair fell around her face, and the sound of her laugh.

"Why not?"

"Not my type."

"What is your ‘type’?"

Irina leaned back on the wall behind her, looking up at the ceiling as she thought carefully. "Confidence, but not cockiness. Intelligence. Wit. Sarcastic senses of humor. Men with a sense of passion to them; some kind of fire and gusto about something, whether it be their work, art, music." She looked over at Zemo then, and allowed her gaze to travel slowly up and down his form. "Currently, my type seems to be men I can't have."

Zemo eyed her carefully, allowing himself to absorb her words fully for several moments. She was describing him – he just knew it. Or, he was too blinded by hopefulness and desire to realize that she wasn’t, but he figured there was only one way to find out. So, he leaned forward, closing the gap between them, and pressed his lips to hers.

Irina hesitated for half a second, surprised by his actions, but she recovered quickly and kissed him back. It was gentle, sweet, and explorative, both parties simply enjoying it while it lasts. Neither had any idea how long it lasted, as time stood still. Zemo was the first to pull away, eyes scanning Irina’s face as he looked at her with sheer adoration, as well as a touch of nervousness.

"I understand if you wish for me to never do that again, and I understand if you'd prefer to never see me again. But please know that I did not do that out of blind lust, or anything other fleeting emotion. I did it because my heart has yearned for you every day since first meeting you, and finally having you here next to me, where I can touch you… it was genuinely unbearable to hold myself back from kissing you. I have not felt anything like this since losing my wife, and I did not think my heart was capable of ever feeling it again. But you proved me wrong. I know I am risking an end to the only true human contact I have while trapped inside this cell, which truly frightens me, but the unyielding desire to tell you that I love you overpowers that fear."

Irina stared at him in shock for a few moments, before leaning her head back against the wall and closing her eyes. She exhaled slowly as she collected her thoughts before speaking. "Helmut… I love you, too, but I don't know how this would even work. You're never getting out of here. How can we have any kind of relationship when you're locked in a cell for the rest of your days?"

"We will make it work, my darling," Zemo said, sitting up straighter and turning to face her. "I will ensure that we mimic a true relationship as much as possible. I cannot wine and dine you as I would like to do, but I can easily bribe the guards to have lavish meals brought here for us to share on evenings such as these. I cannot take you out for birthdays or anniversaries, but I will ensure that you are showered with gifts on those days. My angel, I cannot give you a normal life, but I can promise to endlessly strive to make you happy."

Irina stared deeply into his eyes for what felt like an eternity, and she saw nothing but genuity, longing, and adoration there. She could feel the sincerity in his words, feel how desperately he wished for her to agree to his proposal. She was no fool; she knew that their relationship would be a struggle, and she knew that it would never be any resemblance of normal. But she also knew that he made her heart soar in a way no other man ever had, and that she would die feeling like she missed out on something incredible if she walked away from Zemo now.

“Okay,” Irina whispered, mostly to herself, before repeating it in a stronger, more self-assured voice. “Okay.”

For a man who always knew what to say, Zemo was at a loss for words, overcome with joy. He simply cupped her cheek and kissed her, far more passionately than before, allowing his triumphant and ecstatic feeling to flow through the kiss. Irina gripped the front of his sweatshirt in her fists, melting into him, before wrapping her arms around his neck as his free hand moved to rest on the curve of her waist.

Ages had passed by the time they broke apart, foreheads resting against each other as they fought to catch their breaths. Irina was the first to break the comfortable silence they created, laughing quietly in disbelief at the events that had just transpired. Zemo followed suit, a deep, velvety chuckle bubbling up from his chest. He pressed another kiss to her lips before leaning back and looking at her. They gazed at each other in sheer contented bliss for a few moments more, before Irina became the first to speak.

“I love you, Helmut.”

“And I love you, darling.”

---------------

The sound of the front door opening caused Irina to immediately look up from the book she'd been reading. She frowned, then stood and headed for the door as quickly as possible, calling out, "Nikolai! You know better than to open that door, young man!" When she reached the entryway, she stopped dead in her tracks.

There stood Helmut, wearing the softest, sweetest smile she'd ever seen as he opened his arms to her. She hesitated a moment, unsure whether or not it was real, before he murmured, "Hello, my love." His voice – that alluring raspy undertone, and the gentleness it took on as he spoke to her – broke Irina from her trance, and she ran to him and into his arms, careful of her rounded belly.

Zemo stroked her hair and held her, and her arms around his neck gripped him like a vice, to the point that it hurt a little, but he'd never tell her that. A small sob fell from Irina's lips before she even realized she'd started crying, and he whispered sweet nothings in her ear in Sokovian to soothe her, about how much he loved her and how happy he was to see her. When her crying quieted down a bit, he pulled away to kiss her, a kiss full of love and longing. When he broke the kiss a few moments later, she stroked his cheek lovingly, and he wiped the stray tears from her eyes.

"How are you here? What happened?" Irina asked, and only then did she notice the two men standing awkwardly by the doorway, their faces a mixture of suspicion and surprise. "Who are they?"

"They are the men who helped me escape. James was previously known as the Winter Soldier, and Sam is currently known as the Falcon, an Avenger."

Irina raised an eyebrow at him. "But… you… the Avengers… the Winter Soldier…."

"I know, I know. I am just as surprised as you are, but they need me for something, something very important."

"The Flag Smashers? I saw them on the news. They have Super Soldiers somehow."

"Yes, darling, exactly right. We'll find them, defeat them, and I'll be back before you know it."

Irina understood the implication of his words. He'd be back, but whether that would be in her home or in his cell was yet to be determined. But she knew him. She knew that he would not take his newfound freedom as a one-time opportunity. A storm of thoughts about what that would mean for them flashed through her mind, but Zemo’s hands on her stomach snapped her out of it.

"How is our daughter?" he asked, gently rubbing Irina’s baby bump, a bright smile blooming when the child inside kicked at his hands, as she always did. She had only been in existence for seven months, and she wasn't even born yet, but she already favored him over her mother.

"She's good, she's been moving around a lot today, as if she knew her Daddy was coming," Irina replied, earning a grin from Zemo. "The doctors told me this morning that her heartbeat is strong and she appears to be the picture of health."

"Good, good. And what about –"

"DADDY!" a tiny voice bellowed from down the hall, and they turned to see a small boy running full speed toward Zemo. Irina stepped back to allow him a clear passageway, smiling as Helmut crouched down to meet him, enveloping the boy in an embrace as he collided with his father's chest.

"Nikolai, I've missed you," Zemo stated, rubbing the boy's back as he stood, still holding his son. Irina caught the way her husband's voice wavered when he said that, and she laid a comforting hand on his back.

"I've missed you too, Daddy. Are you living with me and Mommy now?" Nikolai asked, leaning back in his father's arms to gaze at him with excitement plain on his face. Zemo gave him a smile, but Irina could see the sadness in it, knowing the future was uncertain.

"Not quite, buddy. Just here for a visit," Zemo replied, and Irina rubbed his back comfortingly before pressing a kiss to their son's temple.

Their family time was interrupted by Sam clearing his throat loudly, and when Zemo turned to face him, his smile faded.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Zemo, you've got some explaining to do, and not much time to do it. Don't forget we're on borrowed time here."

"Right," Zemo confirmed, then exhaled slowly. "James, Sam, this is my wife Irina and our son Nikolai…. He is five, and Irina is seven months along."

Confusion washed over both men's faces, and they exchanged a glance before the other, James, was the first to speak.

"But… you've been in prison for eight years. Have you been escaping every few years and no one's noticed?"

"I have not left my cell in eight years, consecutively. But my wife is capable of getting into my cell as often as we wish."

"So, what? You've just been having conjugal visits all the damn time? And the prison staff green-lit that?" Sam asked.

"No, not exactly," Zemo answered, then glanced at Irina. They shared a look before she explained further.

"I can teleport. I met Helmut when I was tasked with extrapolating information about HYDRA from him, and he refused to share anything unless the prison staff agreed to let him meet with me twice a week, just to chat, in which case he'd give them tidbits of information bi-monthly. They agreed, and before long, I revealed my ability to him. I'd visit him in his cell occasionally, because the cameras only show half of it. Over time, well… we fell in love. Nikolai came a few years later, and now…" Irina trailed off, then rubbed a hand over her pregnant belly.

"Why didn't you ever bust him out?" James asked.

"I can only teleport small distances with another person, and I can only do it twice at the most, so we'd have never made it off the grounds."

James and Sam were silent for a moment, absorbing the information they'd been given. Sam was the first to break the silence.

"Zemo, you said this little pitstop would benefit me and Bucky. But it's not like she can go with us," he said, sounding a bit irritated as he gestured towards Irina’s stomach. "So what the hell was the point?"

"It does benefit you. You now possess the knowledge that a teleporter exists. Congratulations," Zemo said dryly, then looked at his wife and son for a moment, before returning his attention to the men. "Sam, the point was that I lost my family when Sokovia was destroyed, and the family I have now has only ever seen me inside a prison cell. I wanted my son to have at least one memory of his father in his home with him."

James – no, Bucky, apparently – and Sam exchanged a look, before Bucky sighed and looked to Zemo.

"You have one hour. Sam and I will be guarding the exits, so don't try to escape. If you do…." He trailed off after glancing at Nikolai. "Let's just say it won't be pretty."

True to their word, Sam and Bucky remained stationed outside the home, one out front and one out back. Zemo milked that hour as much as possible, spending most of it in his son’s room with him and Irina, listening intently to Nikolai tell him all about what’s been going on at school, his favorite shows, the trip he took to the zoo the day before with Irina, etc.. He even told Zemo about each and every one of his toys, simply enjoying talking to his dad, and although Zemo was the one to send almost every one to him, therefore he already knew about them, he didn’t mention that. He simply listened intently as his son spoke, enjoying the quality time with him, exchanging smiles and occasional kisses with Irina. She showed him the nursery she’d been working on for their daughter, and he finished putting together the crib she’d started, Nikolai happily handing him parts and screws as needed. Zemo also moved the dresser and changing table to where she’d wanted them but couldn’t move them herself, then they settled into the living room shortly before the hour was up.

Sam and Bucky reentered the house to find the family sitting around the coffee table, playing a game of Jenga. They stood silently in the doorway to the living room, watching as Nikolai carefully drew a block from the tower before placing it back on the top with a triumphant look on his little face. Zemo commended his concentration, then drew a block himself, although he intentionally wiggled it a little so that the tower came toppling down.

“I won! Daddy, I won!”

“Yes, you did, my son. Excellent job,” Zemo said warmly, then glanced at Sam and Bucky before scooping the boy up into a tight hug. “Daddy has to go now, but I will see you again soon.”

“Do you have to go?”

“I’m afraid so. But I need you to promise me something before I leave. Take care of your mom for me, will you?”

“I will, I promise.”

“Good boy,” Zemo said with a smile, then kissed Nikolai’s forehead and set him down. Zemo stood and helped Irina stand up, hugging her tightly as he buried his face into her neck. Quietly, so that no one but her could hear, he said, “I will not be going back to prison unless there is no other way, but know that yours and our children’s safety is my utmost concern.”

“I know, Helmut,” Irina whispered back, and he pressed a long, lingering kiss to her lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, my angel,” Zemo murmured against her lips, then stooped down to hug his son again. “And I love you, Nikolai.”

“I love you, too, Daddy,” the boy responded, and the way his voice quivered as he choked back tears broke his parents’ hearts into a million pieces. Reluctantly, Zemo let him go and he wrapped his arms around his mother’s leg, resting his head against her as he sniffled and she rubbed his back.

“Be safe, sweetheart,” Irina commanded.

Zemo nodded to her before walking over to join Sam and Bucky. With one last heartbroken look at his family, he left, closing the door behind him as he let out a shaky breath. He didn’t meet the other men’s eyes as he walked over to the car, and after they all piled in, they drove in silence to the airport, off to their next stop in Madripoor.

---------------

@henrysmorgan @clints-lucky-arrow @therenlover

#apologies to therenlover if you dislike being tagged; you mentioned some dad!Zemo stuff recently so it made me think to tag you #if you'd rather not be tagged in anything just let me know; i won't be at all offended!#also the same goes for you Mack #Chase you don't get a choice bc you catalyzed my love for Zemo + you're my best friend so you are obligated to deal with me #zemo #helmut zemo #baron helmut zemo #zemo x reader #zemo fan fiction #zemo fan fic #zemo fanfic #zemo fanfiction #baron zemo #baron zemo x reader #baron zemo fan fiction #baron zemo fan fic #baron zemo fanfiction #baron zemo fanfic #baron zemo fic #baron helmut zemo x reader #baron helmut zemo fan fiction #baron helmut zemo fan fic #baron helmut zemo fanfiction #baron helmut zemo fanfic #baron helmut zemo fic #helmut zemo fanfiction #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo fan fiction #helmut zemo fanfic #helmut zemo fan fic

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