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analogwriting · 3 months

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Childhood Crush

Chapter 23: Gold

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3.7k a/n: here it is, folks. the last chapter. it's been an absolutely wild ride and thank you all for joining me in this shit show. no, i didn't make it smutty bc i like to try and keep things gender neutral for all parties to enjoy (doesn't mean i might make two different version of a smutty epilogue tho but that would be down the line) Smutilogue (afab, amab)

After your heart slowed down a bit and you could think clearly, you went to move but Killer tightened his grip on you slightly. You stayed where you were, placing your hands over his. “Killer?” you asked in a soft voice. When did he get up? How long has he been awake? How come you didn’t hear him?

“Just…just a minute. Please.” His voice was gruff from not using it, cracking about halfway through his request. You nodded, letting him hang on to you for as long as he needed. You thought of the night in the kitchen when he held onto you as he cried. You couldn’t tell if he was crying now, but he was definitely a little off. Well, he did almost die, so you needed to let him have his moment.

“Here…let me…” You turned around in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck. He buried his face in your shoulder and held you as you did the same to him. His breathing seemed steady enough, but his heart was racing.

After a few minutes, you could feel his legs begin to shake. “Let’s get you into a chair.” You pulled from him, grabbing a chair for him to sit. “You shouldn’t be standing anyway,” you scolded gently. He sat in the chair, panting softly. He was already wearing himself out, it seemed.

“Why did you get up? You’re in no position to be walking around yet.” You walked over, grabbing a glass of water from the small hand sink before heading back to hand it to him.

“I…” He took the water with a small thanks, but just looked into the cup as he thought about his words. “I guess I just wanted to make sure you were real,” he mumbled, sipping his water. You felt heat rise to your cheeks at his words and you refrained from making any other kind of face.

“Well, of course I’m real, Killi. Who the hell else would be able to bring you back from death’s door, hm?” you mused, turning to grab your clipboard. Killer laughed, the fruit amplifying the sound and making it bounce off the walls. You knew that it probably signaled the other’s that he was awake. It was only a matter of time that your brother was here, then.

“I suppose that’s true. Even if some other doctor found us, the question would be not only would they be able to but would they be willing to.”

You turned to look at him, laughing. “That’s also true.” The Kid Pirates weren’t exactly liked by many. Your brother had a shit attitude, making him easily disliked by others. Honestly, the lot of you were like that. The only people you could really stand were each other. Maybe that was because you’d been around each other for so long. You were all just a bunch of unwanted misfits that found a home in each other. Of course people wouldn’t like the likes of you.

You began to do basic check up procedures, making sure everything was in working order. You changed out some bandages, removing others. His fingers frequently brushed whatever part of you was closest to him as if he wanted to hold onto you but since you were working, he couldn’t.

“You are healing well, but like I told Eustass, your muscles atrophied while laying in bed.” You looked up from your note-taking. “So, light exercise. I’ll probably just have you do a lap around the ship later to get accustomed to walking around again.”

You reached out, holding his bangs back as you used a small light to check his eyes. “I’ll have to also mix up some medicine later - it’ll help speed up the healing process,” you mumbled, more or less, to yourself. You went to pull away but found that Killer had your hand now.

You blinked, turning to look at him. He pressed a kiss to your palm and your face ignited. What in the world was going on? He was being very touchy and, while you honestly were over the moon, you were a little concerned.

“Kil-”

“Did I hear what I think I heard?” Your brother’s voice boomed from down the hallway. You rolled your eyes, grumbling. He couldn’t have picked a worse time to show up, honestly. “Let me go make sure he’s not doing anything stupid,” you mumbled, pulling away from Killer. He squeezed your hand softly before finally letting you go.

Yeah, you two definitely needed to have a conversation when you had a moment.

You walked out of the room, seeing your brother slowly descending the stairs. You folded your arms, leaning against the wall with a smug smile on your face. “It’s okay, tungsten. Take your time,” you mused, watching him.

That earned you the nastiest glare you’ve seen to date. “You are so lucky I am not at full capacity or your ass would be grass.”

A laugh erupted from you and you walked over as he reached the bottom of the stairs. You knew they probably took a lot out of him. He slung his arm around you, leaning into you a considerable amount. “So, he’s awake?” Eustass looked at you. You nodded at him. “He’s awake and fine. Just-”

“Take it easy. Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes.

When the two of you walked into the room that Killer was in, he stood up, meeting your brother half way as they embraced each other. You started hearing the herd of footsteps as the rest of the crew started running down the hallway.

“Incoming,” you mused, stepping out of the way as everyone tumbled in.

“Care- oh, forget it,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes. You’ll just have to deal with whatever aftermath they’ll end up being. You let them all have their moment, slipping out to go and start preparing some dinner.

You decided that since Killer was finally awake, you’d make his favorite this time. After washing your hands, you started the process of making the dough for the pasta. You had a transponder snail playing music quietly in the background as you hummed along with it.

Once again, you felt the strong arms of a certain someone wrap around you. You didn’t tense up this time, just letting it happen as you kept kneading the dough. “Are you making what I think you’re making?” he asked into your neck.

“Figured I’d make your favorite since you’re finally awake.” He just grunted in response before falling silent for a moment.

“Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“There’s something I need to tell you.” You felt your heart almost stop. For the most part, you had a feeling that you knew exactly what he was going to say. After all, he pretty much hadn’t stopped touching you since he woke up. Not to mention the silent confirmation from the festival.

You went to turn around but he kept you in place. “No, no. Don’t turn around. I’ll lose what little confidence I mustered to say this.”

You stopped, nodding. You were quiet, letting him find his words.

“When I was…dying,” he paused and you winced at his word choice. He wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t mean that you liked hearing it. “My life flashed before my eyes. Something that I realized during that time was that every memory and every moment that passed through was you. I know we all grew up together, so it makes sense that you would be a part of them but you were the sole focus of them.” You felt your face heating up, wanting to know what he was getting at. “You’re my life, y/n.”

“There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but never had the confidence. After we found you alive in Wano, I wanted to tell you, but never really got the chance. Especially after you announced that you were staying. I-” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to manipulate you into staying. That, and everything with the SMILE fruit, I just didn’t have the confidence anymore. I told myself that I’d tell you whenever you returned.”

His grip tightened on you a bit more, but you didn’t say anything. He wasn’t crushing you, but you could feel his yearning, and everything else that wasn’t being said, through his touch.

“I regretted not telling you everything from the beginning. Y/n, I-” His words caught in his throat and you were deadly still, waiting for him to just say it already.

“From the moment I first saw you when you barged into the captain’s room that day…” He swallowed hard. You were glad you were turned around right now because your face was on fire. For that long?

“From the moment I saw you in the captain’s room, you swept me off my feet. The way you took care of all of us without batting an eye. The sacrifices you made to take care of those you cared about. The way you kept saving our asses again and again. You never once complained or talked about how unfair it was. You were so strong in so many ways. You are so strong in so many ways.” You could hear your heart pounding in your ears as he spoke. Your whole body was on fire right now.

“There’s so much I want to say, but I can’t figure out how to say it but…” He buried his face into your neck a little more as his grip grew more firm as if he was afraid you’d disappear at the drop of a hat. You knew he wasn’t the best at expressing his thoughts and feelings, so you were surprised he’d said this much.

“I love you, y/n. I always have. From the moment I met you. And it only grew stronger over the years. I never once stopped thinking about you. You were always on my mind. Even in what I thought were my last moments, you were all I could think about.” Your breathing caught in your throat.

He let out a long sigh, finally loosening his grip on you. You were standing there for a moment, letting his words sink in. It was in that moment that you realized you were crying yourself. Mind spinning, heart racing - you might just pass out at this point. You must’ve been quiet longer than you thought because Killer spoke up. “Y/n?”

You turned around, looking up at him. There was surprise in his eyes soon replaced with panic. He took your face in his hands, wiping away your tears. “I-I’m sorry. Was that too much? Did I-” You gently placed your hand over his mouth to get him to stop apologizing for a moment. It was your turn to try and find your words.

“No, no.” Your words were a bit strained with all the emotion that was currently coursing through your body. “I’m just…happy.” You let out a small laugh, sniffling. You looked up at him, smiling widely. “Seems we’ve both been in the same boat. Ever since I saw you in Eustass’ room that day, you swept me off my feet.” Your heart was pounding and you wished it would just fucking settle down because you felt sick.

“I just always assumed that you viewed me as an older sibling just like the rest of them. You were my brother’s best friend, I was sure there was some kind of rule against that? Bro code or whatever.” That earned a laugh from Killer. Still haunting, but you knew you’d be able to fix that soon enough.

“It’s been the same for me, Killer. I’ve been so in love with you for so long. I figured it was always one sided. I honestly thought it was just a childhood crush, but it only grew as the years went on. Hearing you say those words is honestly a dream come true.” You put your hands over his before pulling him down so you could place a kiss on his cheek.

Due to the SMILE fruit permanently pasting that smile on his face, it made kissing an impossibility. But, you could wait. He didn’t know, but you did. It was only a matter of time.

“I…honestly didn’t think you could love a monster like me after what happened in Wano. I figured you’d be repulsed at the sight of me,” he said, looking at you. “But, you never once looked terrified of me. Nor disgusted. Not even when I was Kamazo.”

You reached up, placing a hand on his cheek and shaking your head. “I could never think of you as a monster. SMILE fruit or not, you’re the same man I’ve always loved. I don’t care what you look like. You could’ve grown a second head or a third arm and I’d still love you.” You smiled up at him, his face warming up.

“Well, it’s about damn fucking time.” Your brother’s voice rang through the kitchen and the two of you jumped, looking over and seeing him with the rest of the crew. There were some misty eyes, some smug grins, and some sniffles. “Heat, Wire, you both owe me 200 berries,” Eustass said, looking back at them and they groaned. There was some murmuring amongst everyone. Did everyone have a fucking betting pool about the two of you?

“No one knows them better than I do.” A shit eating grin spread across his face.

Once your initial shock was over, you finally found your voice. “EUSTASS WHAT THE HELL?” You were fuming. “How long have you fucking been there?” This was an invasion of privacy! Your brother just crossed his arms over his chest, that smug grin not leaving his features. “Long enough.” He shrugged and you felt your eye twitch.

You started after him but Killer grabbed your arm. “Careful, doctor. He’s still healing.” Your jaw dropped and you glared at him. “I will kick your ass too. I’m a doctor. I can kick your ass and patch you up like nothing happened. Don’t fucking tempt me.” You shot a look at your brother and the rest of the crew and they scattered. Though, Eustass, Heat, and Wire stayed. They didn’t fear you in the slightest.

Something dawned on you. “Hold the fuckin’ transponder snail.” You turned your attention to the trio in the doorway. “How long have you known?” You put your hands on your hips, glaring at them.

Eustass shrugged. “Since we were teens.” Your mind nearly exploded. That long? “How come no one fucking said anything?”

The three of them shrugged. “Not our place,” Wire said. You sighed. That was true. It wasn’t their place to say anything.

“Not that we didn’t try to get Killer to confess. Man’s stubborn as shit,” Heat piped up. You slowly turned, looking at Killer who rubbed the back of his neck.

“I was just afraid to lose you as a friend. I couldn’t live with myself if you ended up hating me for saying something.” Fuck, how the hell was he so sweet with a name like Killer? You never could figure that out. “You’re also so intimidatingly out of my league,” he mumbled and your eyes widened.

“You thought what?” Your voice came out as a high pitched squeak as those words left his mouth. Your face was once again on fire. The trio in the doorway burst into laughter and you shot them a glare but it only made them laugh more.

You let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. Irritating as always. You felt Killer wrap his arms around you from behind and you relaxed a little.

“Just don’t get too loud when you two start boning,” Eustass said with a shit eating grin.

Your entire body went white hot and your eyes widened. “EUSTASS!” You tried to run at him, but Killer kept you in place as the trio cackled and ran off, away from your wrath.

For the next week, Killer was practically glued to your hip. Whatever you were doing, he was right there helping you in whatever way he could. Both him and your brother were much better now. Your brother was back to barking orders and working in a makeshift workshop. You knew that if you didn’t have one on this ship, it wasn’t going to be well for anyone. It’s how your brother calmed down, after all.

Today, you decided it was time. Killer was healing well and he seemed to be back at full capacity, so you knew it would be safe to administer the antidote. Your brother was also constantly harassing you about it. “He’s just fine. You’re stalling.” You just shot him a glare every time and he returned the favor. Finally, you were giving in.

You were rummaging around in the drawers of your desk for a moment before you found what you were looking for. You stood up, Killer suddenly standing over you. “What are you looking for?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin, nearly taking a tumble before Killer caught you and pulled you to him. “For fucking fuck’s sake. You’re going to end up giving me a heart attack, Killi,” you mumbled, straightening yourself out.

He laughed, the noise ringing off the walls and you looked up at him. His helmet was currently being rebuilt by Eustass as his was destroyed in the altercation with Shanks, so he’d been without it all week. He stopped, noticing your expression. Concern shown in his eyes. “What’s wrong, y/n?”

“You remember how you called me out for not telling the truth about why I stayed in Wano?” The air suddenly shifted to a more serious tone.

He nodded, watching as you moved to face him. “Well, you were right. As you typically are when you call me out. I was working on something.” You held up a small vial.

“What is it?”

“Take it.”

He blinked, looking at you. “I don’t understand.”

“Take the vial and drink it.”

He took the vial slowly, looking between you and the small object. “Is it going to taste like that medicine you gave me last week? I thought I was all good?” His eyes narrowed and you laughed. You shook your head. “No, I already told you. I made that taste like ass because that was my way of getting back at you for almost dying. This doesn’t taste anything like that.”

He looked at you for a long moment before popping it open and throwing it back. He handed it back to you, looking at you expectantly. For a moment, your heart stopped. Why wasn’t it working? Was there a time frame you didn’t know? Was this one a dud?

Then you saw it. His smile unfurling at the edges and his features slowly relaxing. His eyes widened and complete shock took over his face. His face. Not just his eyes. “Wh-”

“That’s why I stayed in Wano, Killer,” you said softly.

He stared at you with his shocked expression and for a moment, you were worried you’d broken the poor man. “Ki-”

His hands were suddenly cupping your face as he pulled you into the most passionate kiss you’d ever experienced. Well, it was the only kiss you’d ever experienced, but either way you were over the moon. You let out a surprised noise, but wasted no time in wrapping your arms around his neck and deepening it. He lifted you up, placing you on the desk as you wrapped your legs around him and pulled him closer.

You felt him smile against you. Actually smile his own, genuine smile and you couldn’t help but mirror him. His hands traveled down to your hips, gripping you firmly causing you to whine against his mouth and your hands, that were currently wrapped up in his hair, tugged on his hair roughly causing him to let out a growl against you. Your heart started racing with excitement.

After a few moments of kissing and groping at each other, he pulled away, resting his forehead on yours as he panted softly. You were doing the same, looking deep into his eyes with a breathless laugh.

“I’ve been waiting to do that forever,” he said, looking at you. “Dreamt about it.”

You quirked an eyebrow, grinning. “Oh? And what else did you dream about?” you cooed, one of your hands playing with his goatee as you looked at him. You watched as his face grew more and more red by the second.

“Holy fucking shit, lock the fucking door next time!” Eustass’ voice interrupted the both of you and the two of you looked over. The both of you looked at each other before erupting into a fit of laughter and you couldn’t help but stare at Killer in awe as you finally heard his laugh again. It wasn’t haunted and distorted by the SMILE fruit anymore. It was one hundred percent Killer and you couldn’t be more in love with it - with him.

Eustass’ face lit up. “Wait. Did you finally do it, Bigs?”

You looked over at him, nodding as you unwrapped your legs from Killer and let him go.

Killer looked between the two of you. “So you knew this whole time, captain?”

Eustass nodded. “Your secret wasn’t the only one I was keeping. Which, I’m glad it’s all out. That shit is the worst.” He rolled his eyes and you laughed.

“I’m honestly surprised you were able to keep any secret at all,” you mused.

He looked at you with a droll expression. “Whatever. Well, I’ll let you get back to shagging, just clean up whatever mess you make and don’t be too loud. I don’t really wanna hear my older sibling getting railed.” He turned to head out of the room.

You felt your face grow white hot. “EUSTASS!”

#hopefully i did this ending justice and i hope y'all enjoyed it #cause i enjoyed writing it #hopefully y'all will stick around for my other writings #i'll eventualyl do the band au i promise #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x you #killer x reader #massacre soldier killer #killer one piece #am fics #cc

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