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pindaleng · 4 years

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Title: But I Knew You

Pairing: Avatrice

Chapters: 1/1

Wordcount: 2270

Summary: College AU. Beatrice is Ava’s favorite person. Ava loves being around her in a way she can’t explain. She wants to do everything with her, from studying to partying to walks outside. Which is completely normal for best friends.

Getting flustered by close contact and fake flirting is also definitely a super normal friendship thing.

Read on AO3 or below.

“I don’t get it.”

Beatrice sighed from her desk. “You don’t have to, it’s organic chemistry.”

“But I feel like I should. Like, this is the structure of living things right? I’m living, so I should understand how it works.”

“You use the internet, but you don’t know how that works.”

“Good point.” Ava shut the thick textbook in front of her. She didn’t really want to learn anyways. “You done yet?”

Beatrice sighed again, turning in her chair to face Ava, who was sitting on her bed. “We’ve only been working half an hour, and I specifically said I was spending the entire day studying. Which you should be doing too, since I know you said you have an exam Monday.”

“Fine Ms. Studious.” Ava made a big show of loudly unzipping her backpack and finally pulling out her laptop and notebooks. “I’ll…study,” she said, punctuating her last word with air quotes.

Beatrice narrowed her eyes, definitely looking skeptical, but turned back to her own pile of schoolwork.

Ava opened up her Google doc notes on her laptop, and simultaneously picked up her phone to check Twitter. Beatrice was right to doubt her; she practically never did any work on Saturdays. That’s what Sundays were for.

And yet, every Saturday, she showed up at Beatrice’s room under the guise of studying, just so she could hang out with her favorite person. Beatrice was one of the few people Ava felt comfortable in silence with, maybe due to all the death glares she’s received from Beatrice when she’s being too distracting.

Either way, she found comfort in it, even if they’re just sitting in the same room together, focused on their own activities. Beatrice studying, and Ava scrolling through social media on her phone, occasionally typing a paragraph or two for a paper due the following week.

They’re pretty much polar opposites, and Ava often wondered how they stuck as friends. Probably due to the weird crucible of living on the same freshman year dorm floor. People got to know everyone really quickly, for better or worse.

Luckily, it turned out for the better with everyone Ava met. A few of them with rooms in the north wing bonded fast, and they rented a house together for their sophomore year. She loved them all: Mary, Lilith, Camila, and Beatrice.

But especially Beatrice.

Beatrice was smart, kind, and witty, and honestly the best listener Ava’s ever met. Ava unabashedly talks a lot. Like, a lot. And being like that, people can lose interest as conversation and friendships progress.

But Beatrice still gave Ava her full attention after a year of Ava talking her ear off. Which was still impressive every time.

It’s cool.

It’s cool that she has a solid group of friends when there was no one back home to keep in touch with.

She really loved it here.

There were so many things to do and people to meet, sometimes she still got overwhelmed by it all.

And the best place to get the full experience? College parties.

It was the midst of midterm season, but honestly all the more necessary to have something to blow off stress. And to be real, midterm season lasted from the second month of school to the end of the semester. So, no better time than the present.

After Ava got kicked out of Beatrice’s room for being too distracting, she spent most of that evening helping the rest of her housemates set up their party. Mary was in charge of getting alcohol, having the most connection with older students. Lilith put Ava and Camila in charge of cleaning and setting up, which basically meant that Lilith didn’t trust Ava to actually do the work well. Ava would have been offended if she didn’t enjoy spending time with Camila so much. The girl was a ball of literal sunshine, yet also unexpectedly, full of dirty jokes.

So, setting up the apartment with Camila was a party in itself, full of fun banter and deep life discussions.

Ava just finished putting out the snacks and booze, when the first people arrived. She cracked open a bottle of Fireball, and downed a double shot.

Ava happily shook out her body as the the liquid warmed her up. It was going to be a good night.

———

Ava’s in the middle of laughing at some stranger’s story when she caught sight of a figure coming down the stairs. She grinned.

“Woo! Life of the party’s here!!!” She yelled across the room, startling the people around her, and drawing Beatrice’s attention towards her. If Ava was sober, maybe she would have cared more that Beatrice looked slightly (very) embarrassed, but Ava definitely wasn’t sober. She half skipped and half jogged across the room, undoubtedly spilling her drink on herself and several bystanders.

She hugged Beatrice tightly when she reached her. God it felt nice. Like sinking into a bed of clouds. Or something similarly soft and fluffy and comforting. “I missed you.”

Beatrice laughed softly, close to Ava’s ear. The best sound in the world. “You just saw me a couple of hours ago.”

Ava pulled away and pouted. “Still.”

Beatrice smiled, in a perfect way that made her entire face brighter. Holy hell she was beautiful. “Well, I finished up for the day and I’m here now. Any chance you can show me where the party is?” Her eyes sparkled with playfulness.

Ava looked at her in disbelief. “Wait seriously? You wanna join?”

“I can’t be a dud at a party in my own house, can I?”

Beatrice had definitely sat out on many parties they’ve hosted, but Ava ignored that. For now, she was going to enjoy this win. She led her to the kitchen, where various bottles of alcohol and sodas crowded their dining table. Beatrice shrugged when Ava asked what she wanted, so she just made a vodka cranberry. It was a crowd pleaser drink in her opinion. Plus, some rich kid brought Grey Goose, which was probably double or triple the price of everything else on the table.

Beatrice took a sip. “Not bad.”

“I may not know much,” Ava tapped her index finger a couple times to her temple, “but I do know my liquor.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, you also know how to get on my nerves.” Beatrice said teasingly, voice devoid of any malice.

Ava took a overdramatic bow. “Thank you, m’lady.” She refilled her own cup with a mixture of vodka and sprite. “Shall we?” Ava offered her hand to the other girl.

Beatrice rolled her eyes, but put her hand in Ava’s.

Ava led them back to the main room, navigating through groups of bodies to eventually land them at a couch, which was miraculously unclaimed.

From there, Ava launched into basically non-stop talking, wanting to entertain Beatrice in the best way she knew how. She shared stories of all the people she met during the night so far, with Beatrice supplementing the conversation with appropriate reactions and commentary. Ava recounted one guy that recklessly challenged her to shotgunning a beer against him. Spoiler alert, he lost miserably. Ava watched Beatrice’s eyes as much as she could while she was talking, entranced with their intenseness, openness, and expression. Did they always look like that?

The eye contact felt so personal, like it took away everyone else in the room, ignoring the raging party and loud music around them.

And the music was definitely loud, though the song choices were good. Mary knew how to set up a playlist. Ava got banned from music duty when she un-ironically added in Friday by Rebecca Black.

No regrets.

After exhausting all the tales from that night, she moved to discussing and speculating with Beatrice on the backstories of all the partygoers. People watching with Beatrice was always fun. As strait-laced as she appeared, Beatrice was also incredibly creative. Whatever wild stuff Ava theorized, Beatrice could match or do better.

At one point, a couple joined them on the couch, pushing Ava into Beatrice, pressing their sides together. The couch was much too small to comfortably fit 3 people, much less four.

“Shit, sorry.” Ava tried her best to back up and give Beatrice space, but there was nowhere to go.

Beatrice put a hand on her thigh and smiled. “Ava, it’s fine.”

Ava suddenly found it hard to breathe. Probably due to being surrounded by two more people.

“You okay?” Beatrice furrowed her eyebrows.

“Yeah, think I just need to get out here for a bit. Wanna take a walk?”

“Sure.”

There was a nice, cool breeze outside, a welcome relief from the humid air inside. It was also much quieter.

Beatrice suggested getting ice cream from Mcdonald’s and Ava emphatically agreed. Beatrice really knew her.

Fifteen minutes later she was contently humming to herself as they walked back to the house. This was the best party ever. She had an ice cream cone in one hand and somehow Beatrice’s hand in the other. A perfect night. Ava’s pretty sure this is the happiest she’s ever been in her entire life.

———

Ava groaned as she slid back into consciousness. She felt grimy, which was not unusual for her after a night of drinking.

She did a quick self inventory to assess the damage.

She was in her own bed, which was good. Boxers? On. Shirt? Also on, but in her sleep shirt instead of the button up she was wearing last night. Interesting. No bra. Also interesting.

She felt around to her right and left. No body in the bed with her. Good to know.

Minimal pounding in her head. She sat up, breathing a sigh of relief that she didn’t feel like throwing up.

She noticed a glass of water and a couple of Advils on her nightstand. Definitely Beatrice. No one else would be nice enough. Okay maybe Camila, but she still had bets on Beatrice.

She quickly washed down the pills with water and slipped on shorts and a pullover before making her way downstairs to the kitchen.

Mary was sitting at the table eating, and Beatrice at the stove pouring batter into a pan.

“Pancakes, oh my god. Bea you’re the best.” Ava gave Beatrice a tight hug and overdramatic sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Beatrice playfully pushed Ava away and made a show of wiping the kiss off her face. “Yeah yeah I know, now eat it while it’s still hot.”

Ava saluted. “Got it chef.”

“Dork.”

“You love it.”

“No comment.”

Ava’s in the middle of inhaling her fifth pancake when Mary said something. Beatrice left the room about a pancake ago, so it could only have been directed at Ava.

“What?” Ava momentarily stopped chewing.

Mary got up and started rinsing her dishes in the sink. “I said, you should really tell her how you feel.”

Ava knitted her eyebrows together. “About what?”

Mary stared at her for a while, long enough to make Ava to feel uncomfortable. Her mouth was still full, and Mary has perfected the gaze that made her feel like a kid in trouble.

“Never mind,” she said, as she put her dishes in the dishwasher.

“About what??” She repeated. Mary ignored her and walked out the kitchen. Ava swallowed the rest of the food in her mouth. “Asshole!” Ava yelled after her, eliciting a middle finger response.

Beatrice appeared in the doorway. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just Mary being cryptic and messing with me.”

“Sounds about right.”

Beatrice sat down at the table. “How are you feeling?”

“Surprisingly… not bad. Seriously thank you for the food and Advils,” Ava remembered her state of dress when she woke up. “And…probably also for helping me out of my clothes.”

“Oh um, right, it was nothing. Didn’t want you sleeping in an uncomfortable, sweaty shirt.” Ava noticed Beatrice’s cheeks turn a little pink. Shit, she didn’t mean to embarrass her. She could fix this.

“Did you see something you like?” Ava wiggled her eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood, but it only made Beatrice blush harder. Oh my god Ava you’re so bad at this. She felt herself digging herself into a hole. Of course fake flirting with her is going to make it worse.

Ava was about to say something (probably dumb) to attempt again to save the situation, before Beatrice spoke.

“How could I not? You’re beautiful.”

For once, Ava was speechless. The incredibly reverent but casual way Beatrice said it completely took her breath away. There was something magical about how soft Beatrice’s eyes were, and how vulnerable it felt. Half of Ava felt calmed, while the other half of her was a raging mess. Ava felt the need to do something. She wasn’t sure what, but she needed to do something. She started racking her garbled brain for any ideas.

Beatrice’s smile slowly slid into a smirk, “Got you.”

The spell of the moment was broken. Ava laughed to dust off any lingering weird feelings. “Wow, got a taste of my own medicine. I’m impressed.”

“I had a good teacher. You should have seen your face.” Beatrice mimicked a “deer in the headlights” look for a brief moment before grinning again. She got up from the table. “Now hurry up and finish your food so we can get to the library. I’m not going to let you forget about studying for your midterm tomorrow.”

“Right. Yeah.”

“Cool.” Beatrice slapped Ava’s arm playfully before leaving the room.

Ava watched her go, wondering what in the living hell just happened. Fuck. Was she about to kiss her best friend?

#avatrice #sister beatrice #ava silva #warrior nun #college au #fic #fanfic #mine

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vetyr · 5 years

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hi! i'm not sure if you've answered this already but i saw on instagram that you are majoring in mechanical engineering at cornell. i'm going to be in an accelerated medical program in uni, and i'm worried that i won't be have time to draw, study art, practice, etcetera. seeing you consistently producing art amazes and inspires me. how do you balance art and all its things with such an intense major?

Hey! I get this question often, so I figured it’d be a good idea to assemble a decent response to it. Long post incoming. TL;DR: I gotta force myself to draw sometimes, because my mental health probably depends on it.

The honest answer is that I’m actually not that great at uploading art while I’m at school. During freshman year especially I’d just shut off the art side of my brain during exam season—a period which could last anywhere between two to five weeks and began again within a week or two due to Cornell’s batty exam schedule—in an attempt to study more effectively. I figured that less time on art equated linearly to more time on academics, which directly led to more academic success.

Turns out, uh, it’s not that simple. I finished up my sophomore year this spring and I realized that I do way better academically and mentally when I spend some time drawing throughout the day. I don’t know what it’s like for others, but I guess that my brain is just wired such that after a lifetime of drawing, quitting cold turkey for an extended period of time is really not ok for me.

Drawing in class (see the pics in this post), doodling stuff for friends, taking commissions, or studying a figure even just for twenty minutes a day is enough to work. Pushing myself to draw is often quite difficult, especially when I’ve got an exam/problem set/project looming over my head. To anyone in this position—in school or otherwise under enough stress that the thing you love causes you anxiety, fear, or boredom—I’ve got two tips.

The first is that drawing for ten minutes or less a day will make you feel orders of magnitude better than not drawing at all for another day in a row. Even thirty seconds will likely get the job done for you, mentally. I’m not going to BS you and say that you’ll improve much if you draw for ten minutes a day, every day, and no more, but it will give you peace of mind. Even as someone who’s trying to improve their art I find this fact really valuable, simply because I know from experience that getting yourself comfortable with drawing a little bit every day is a really reliable method of getting yourself to draw a lot every day. When you finally have the free time to draw (weekends, breaks, etc.), you’ll thank yourself for setting up that stepping stone.

The second is particularly meant for students with a very specific problem: avoiding making art because you should be studying instead. My roundabout solution works well for me, but may not work for a student who genuinely does not have any free time in their day, so keep that in mind. For me, it works to remind myself that I can easily spend one to three hours a day mindlessly browsing the internet or watching videos, but for some reason my mind takes no issue with this even during exam season. When I’m hesitant about picking up the tablet pen because I’m thinking about the exam in four days, I just tell myself that I’m replacing the time I’d be wasting anyways with something that I consider fulfilling.

I wish you the best of luck with everything (’you’ referring generally to anyone balancing art and school/work; this ask is old enough that the original asker may well be a doctor by now, who knows), and I hope you and art have a good relationship in the years to come. Cue random sketch.

#asks #artists on tumblr #art advice #sketch #brush test

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floatingpetals · 5 years

Text

Boys in Blue || Pt. 7

Pairings: cop!Stucky x F!Reader

Warnings: none, maybe language

Word Count: 1800+

Summary: (Cop AU) There was just one crappy thing after enough that happened to her. It possibly couldn’t get any worse, or so she thought until she saw the dreaded flashes of red and blue behind her. Could things get any worse?

A/N: I had totally meant to end this series at this part, but from the feedback, I’ve gotten from you wonderful people I’ve decided to extend it a little bit more. I don’t really have many plans beyond the next part(it’s rough but I have something at least) so the updates might be few and far in between until I can get more ideas. But I know there’s stuff there with this story! This ones a little short, but let me know what ya’ll think! Enjoy! 💕

The gifs are not mine, credit to the owner @aylo22 on weheart.

Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Series Masterlist

“Hey, baby girl.” Bucky purred into the phone. The giggle on the other end made his heart flip in his chest, his lips stretching into a wide grin. Steve snorted beside him in the car, rolling his eyes at the way Bucky practically preened at making Y/N tittered on the other end. “What are you doin’ for dinner?”

“Not sure actually. I just opened my fridge and the left-over chicken from last week just growled at me,” Y/N snorted. “I’ll have to get some safety gloves and tackle that later.”

“So in other words, your free tonight?” Bucky asked hopefully.

For the past two weeks since their little fiasco with Y/N, things picked up for the three of them job wise. Y/N was suddenly slammed by a sudden influx of new clients and reluctantly had to work longer hours to keep up with the sudden demand. Then for Bucky and Steve, they were short a few officers since flu season started to hit and put a good chunk of the officers out of commission for a while. Since neither of them had families and lived together, they didn’t want those on the force who need to spend time with their loved ones to pick up the time of those that were getting sick. It meant that they had less time to see Y/N than they would have liked, but she assured them to do what they needed.

However, just within the last two days, Bucky finally got his results back from the sergeant test he took. He had been a wreck of nerves for the week leading up to it and then a wreck the time it took to get back to him. Now he was officially, Sergeant James B. Barnes. It rolled off the tongue pretty nicely. He had yet had a chance to tell Y/N the good news. Steve told him she’d probably start screaming and tackle him to the ground; that week of the exam was quite taxing on them all with how on edge Bucky was, and she would be thrilled to know their suffering wasn’t in vain. Bucky didn’t want to tell her over text or have her read it over his shoulder like Steve had. He wanted to take his best girl out for a nice, peaceful dinner and tell her there. Today would have been the first time in two weeks he’d get that chance.

“Yeah, I’m on board! Is Steve gonna be with you?”

“Ah, yeah about that.” He shot Steve an apologetic look over the center console of the car. Steve frowned when he heard the question, pouting as he drove back to the precinct. “Steve may or may not have already agreed to work his last late-night shift tonight.”

“What? Again?”

“Yeah again.” Bucky sighed. “I wouldn’t hold it against him though. I don’t think Michael meant to get hit by that druggy earlier and need to get admitted to the hospital.”

“Oh.”

“But on the plus side, we’ve been told by fury that because of all the overtime we’ve been taking we don’t have to work weekends for the next six weeks. Everyone else should be comin’ back from their sick leave and will pick up the slack.”

“Well,” Y/N started slowly, sounding incredibly guilty as she spoke. As if spending alone time with Bucky was bad. “I guess that’s good. Still a bummer I don’t get to have dinner with him tonight.”

Steve turned his head sharply and stuck out his hand. Hands-free driving be damned. He needed to nip that doubt in the ass real quick. Bucky bit his lip to hide his smile at the strange mix of fury and determination on Steve’s face and passed the phone over.

“Y/N.” Steve began. “I can hear you worrying about what I think about you and Bucky. I don’t mind if you want to go out and have dinner with him alone. I really don’t. Yeah, I’ll be upset that I don’t get to see you right away after us having to spend so much time apart, but it’s not because you’re spending time with Bucky and not me. I will never be upset about that. Okay?”

Y/N was silent on the other side of the line, mulling over his words. It was still surprising how observant they both were. She couldn’t hide anything from them if she wanted to. They always seemed to know when something was bothering her, even if there was distance between them. Y/N didn’t want to create a rift between them because of her. In her mind, if she spent time with one, it meant the other was left out in the cold. Maybe they’d see it as her picking favorites, which she never could. But Bucky and Steve both were surprising her at every corner, shoving aside those nagging doubts that taunted her daily. It made her smile and let out a heavy breath.

“Okay. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t miss you.”

“Same, sweetheart,” Steve replied, his tone melting as the adoration seemed in. “I’ll miss you too. But at least now all three of us will have weekends off. We always have tomorrow.”

“That’s true.” Y/N agreed. “Be safe tonight.”

“Always will.” He chuckled softly and said a quick goodbye before passing the phone back to Bucky. The brunette grinned and ran a hand through his hair.

“Anything you have in mind tonight?”

“No way! Are you serious?!”

Bucky nodded vigorously and beamed at Y/N, the corners of his eyes crinkling almost to the point he was squinting as he told Y/N about his exam results. Y/N could barely contain her squeal and debated on whether or not it was socially acceptable to leap across the table and tackle him to the ground.

“Holy shit that’s amazing! Congratulations Bucky!” Y/N gushed, pride swelling in her chest. For weeks Bucky panicked over this test and now he finally knew that it was worth all the stress. “Does Steve know?”

“Yeah, he saw it over my shoulder when I got the letter.”

“They still send them in letters?” Y/N stopped and quickly waved a hand in the air. “Nope. Not important. Holy shit!”

Bucky laughed and ducked his chin, his cheeks blossoming into a bright pink.

“Yeah, that was Steve’s second reaction too.” He bit his lip at the memory. He had just read over the lines, saw his score and then was suddenly he was swept up in Steve’s arms, who quickly peppered the entirety of his face with giddy albeit sloppy kisses.

“Well, now I really feel bad he’s not here.” Y/N sat back in her chair. “He should be celebrating with us too! After all, he lived with you through hell week.”

“Hey now.” Bucky raised a finger. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“Steve left you in a gas station parking lot because you wouldn’t stop bitching about whether or not you memorized enough for the exam. It was that bad.”

Bucky let his finger fall, his cheeks burning bright once again. Okay yeah, maybe he was that bad.

“Well,” Bucky sighed and toyed the rim of his glass. “I do apologize for being a pain in the ass. But I am grateful you were both there for me to keep me in line. I don’t want to think about how crazy I’d be without you both.”

“You’d be fine. Probably running on less sleep than you’d need, but in the end, you’d pass all the same.” Y/N grinned.

“We’ll call it payback for our first interaction,” Bucky smirked before he took a long sip of beer. Y/N groaned and threw her head back.

“Are you ever going to let me live that one down?”

“Not anytime soon.”

“You’re such a jerk.” Y/N giggled in spite of her annoyance. Bucky laughed, fully aware there was no bite behind her snark and grabbed fry from the basket between them. He chewed thoughtfully, letting his gaze wander over her face for a quiet moment. She couldn’t stop the bashful grin spreading across her lips, biting her lip when she caught sight of the intensity behind his gaze. “What?”

Bucky didn’t respond right away, taking his time to swallow before he let out a content sigh and leaned forward with his arms crossed on the table. Y/N cocked her head to the side, Bucky’s wide grin infectious.

“Seriously,” She chuckled. “What? Do I have something on my face? Do I have ketchup up my nose again?”

Y/N grabbed her napkin and began dabbing at her nose. It wouldn’t have been the first time she made an idiot of herself in front of him, she thought now almost completely unfazed by whatever funny joke life threw her way. Fortunately, her awkward and slightly embarrassing moments didn’t faze the two in the slightest. Bucky shook his head and laughed lightly as he took hold of one of her hands. His thumb brushed along the back of her hand, a simple yet tender touch.

“Nothing, on your face baby girl.” He answered. “Just can’t get over how lucky am I am to have you and Steve.”

Alright, so maybe them telling her how much they cared about her was enough to make her heart skip several beats. Y/N felt her face heat up, a giddy giggle exploding from her lips as she ducked her chin. It caused Bucky to beam, his heart fluttering and pound in his chest at the sound. Yes, he is incredibly lucky. Who wouldn’t be with one insanely handsome boyfriend as well as an equally gorgeous girlfriend? Life couldn’t get any better.

“You’re too sweet, Buck.” Y/N said and squeezed his hand. Bucky rolled his eyes and let her fingers go to sit back in the booth.

“Nah. Just statin’ facts.”

“Well, then I guess I have to admit I’m so thankful you decided to pull me over that fateful afternoon. Because I keep thinking about how lucky I am to have you too.” She replied, her adoration seeping into her voice.

Now it was Bucky’s turn to blush and duck his chin to hide his sappy grin. He let out a hearty laugh and shook his head.

“You know if Steve was here, he’d call us both saps and to get a room.”

Y/N snorted and rolled her eyes. “Oh please, if Steve was here, he’d be tearing up and pretending it was his allergies or something.”

“Oh absolutely.” Bucky agreed immediately. “He was the first one to cry when we watched the Titanic together. Tried to play it off all cool like he wasn’t just sobbing into a tissue, but I saw what I saw.”

“Oh god,” Y/N could picture it perfectly. Her giggles rose into a peal of hearty laughter as Bucky began telling her more stories of their third. He wasn’t there to defend himself, an opportunity Bucky was more than happy to take.

Seeing Y/N let loose and not care that she was getting stares from people around them thrilled Bucky. All her attention was on him. He was the one who was making her snort through her laughter. It made his chest buff out with pride as well as back up his earlier thought. Life couldn’t get any better.

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sunlitroom · 4 years

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Hi! For the ship chart - Gobblepot, Wayleska, BatCat, Nygmakins

Thanks for asking, anon :)

Well, I like all of these :D But to elaborate. And by elaborate, I mean - write a massive essay, because I’ve been in lockdown for over a month now.

Gobblepot - The best OTP of all OTPs

I’ve written a ton of meta (how unfashionable of me) and had conversations with very clever people about Gotham’s writing. It has its flaws - as does everything - but when it does things well, it does them well. Jim and Oswald are paralleled from beginning to end. Even when they’re not technically sharing a story - it’s made clear that these people are connected. Prisoners offered a good example of that, which I recapped here

Jim and Oswald’s connection is made clear right at the beginning - we start off with their story. Jim’s freshly arrived in town, full of big ideas and hopes. He has a shiny new job and a beautiful fiance. Oswald doesn’t seem to have the same external trappings of growth and success - but he’s planted several seeds in the hope they’ll come to fruition later.

It’s interesting to see how reckless and brazen they both are in season one, too. They both stare down the barrel of a gun at points, and practically swagger up to certain people and dare them to kill them. They both retain their impulse to thumb their noses at authority, and do downright dangerous things - but they become increasingly less blithe about it over the seasons as their respective trauma accumulates. There’s a joy in it at the outset, more of a desperate grimness as we go on.

We also get to see their vulnerabilities. There’s little hints early on that there’s more underneath. Jim might look like the invulnerable golden boy but - to quote a line from Silence of the Lambs - his face is all scars, if you know how to look. Look at his immediate bond with the bereaved Bruce, because Jim saw his father die at the same age. Look at Jim’s reaction when Loeb comments about not following in his father’s footsteps. Look how quickly his relationship with Barbara falls apart - in fact, just look at it in the first place.

Oswald’s vulnerabilites are more and less obvious. He’s the Other to Jim’s all-American hero. He’s flung about all over the place in season one - tiny-looking in comparison to the likes of Falcone and Maroni. He’s left with a permanent limp after Fish’s beating. Less obviously, we see that he’s strongly motivated by his need to make his mother happy, and that the notion of causing her shame hurts him to the point of tears.

All that kind of stuff, all the careful details, built slowly, really make it for me. They’re built on later - in many ways they’re very different, but in others, very similar.

This difference/similarity plays out in their encounters, too. They’re oddly fascinated by each other. Oswald’s attraction is made very apparent from the outset . Yes - Jim might be another piece on the chessboard (albeit one he won’t sacrifice) - but he blushes and stares and lights up when Jim appears. Even later, when all the hurts and wrongs between them have mounted up, he still can’t quite resist gazing.

Jim’s a combination of uneasy but fascinated in Oswald’s company. The early scene in the alley pinpoints it so well - the moment right after this one:

Oswald - who is adept at reading people (in season one, anyway) grins - because Jim is rapt. He has his whole attention. To steal a line from Hannibal this time. he watched the red sparks pinwheel deep in his eyes and felt the excitement of a child approaching a distant fair. Although, in this case - it’s all more illicit and scary. Jim knows he shouldn’t go to this fair, and this fair is a dangerous place.

And that odd fascination never really goes away. Even at points when Jim is angered or revolted by Oswald’s actions - he’s never repulsed. He’s more likely to shake him than turn his back on him.

This dynamic might morph a bit, depending on circumstance - but Jim always stands too close, stares too long, likes to tease, and is quick to head in Oswald’s direction when the chips are down.

A last point. Something else I enjoy is that they know the best and worst of each other, and seem to have an endless capacity for forgiveness.

Wayleska - sort of an OTP? I do find it a heartbreaker of a ship.

Pre-gas Jeremiah is so instantly smitten with Bruce. That first interaction and he’s completely gone. I’m posting the gifs again because they’re glorious. I know they’re all different sizes, but meh.

What makes it all so painful is that you can see - post-gas - this is still there. He’s still head-over-heels, and there’s slivers of awareness there. But the gas has twisted everything, and you can see part of him is mortified and pained at how this is all playing out.

Especially here, in these next gifs. Even the big showy gesture is laced with pain, and afterwards just seals it

Given his secretive and hidden-away past, you could probably hazard a guess that this is the first time Jeremiah has been in love. On top of that, he seems reserved and restrained by nature. And here he is - being forced to reveal his feelings like this.

On saying all that, I loved what I saw in show - but maybe prefer it as a pairing in fics. Bruce - for me, anyway - doesn’t seem mature enough to deal with the intensity of Jeremiah’s feeling - pre and post-gas. Maybe when he’s a little older, it’s something he could at least take in and process, but it seems a little one-sided in show just because Bruce doesn’t really seem to recognise what’s happening, let alone parry it.

The only point where you could argue that he was aware, and that there’s feelings there, I think, is the fact that he’s so angry at Jeremiah. With Jerome, Bruce almost felt responsible for his actions, and does what he can to mitigate them. But with Jeremiah, Bruce refuses to even tell him that they have a connection in order to save people’s lives. His anger and obstinacy feels more visceral and - if I prod it - looks like hurt and betrayal. Bruce saw Jeremiah, at least, as a friend. His reaction to the loss of that seems a bit disproportionate - so maybe there are nascent feelings there?

But generally. yes, better in fic where the writer can take more license and time with Bruce.

BatCat - It’s not an OTP - but it’s sweet and I like it? I’m not so mad keen about how forgetful Alfred and Bruce can sometimes be of Selina in earlier seasons, and sometime tone-deaf at points later - but yes, it’s nice.

Nygmakins - I like this. It’s maybe not an OTP - but I ship it. The foundations aren’t quite as extensive as with Gobblepot - but they’re there. They’re both seemingly sweet-natured, sciencey and fascinated with the darker side of life. Very early on, we know they have interactions that we don’t see. Lee apparently allows Ed to use the lab and exam room when he wants, and he dreamily remarks that she smells nice.

Later, we see more similarity as their duality becomes more apparent, and their shared taste for violence, darkness and power. Lee enjoys the applause of the crowds in the Narrows just as much as Ed enjoys the audience adulation for his ‘gameshow’. Lee’s revenge on Sofia is as protracted and merciless as Ed’s on Oswald.

Last up - they both have a desire to be entirely seen, which is something they seem to find in each other.

Thanks for the ask, anon. I fire the same pairings back at you, if you feel like answering :)

#Anonymous #ask #shipping

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bakugaykatsukii · 5 years

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I Talk About Bakugou Because I'm Bored

Bakugou. He's best boy. My son.

No, actually, I'mma explain in as few words as possible why I absolutely adore his character.

Oops this got long.

Okay, so it's the first chapter/episode (I'll go off the anime because it's practically identical and more widespread) and it opens with Deku narrating. This is to establish an immediate connection between the audience and the main protagonist; it conveys how important Deku is. Plenty of shows do this so it's not really a big deal, just common practise. HOWEVER, the second character we hear speak is Bakugou, who is insulting Deku.

This is framed in a way that's supposed to make us dislike him, and continues all throughout the first episode. He's presented as a four year old trying to beat up our main character, and then his next scene is being ten years older and Still Trying To Beat Up Our Main Character. This makes him seem rotten to the core, as his character hasn't changed whatsoever in that time, and as an audience we know very little information about him.

On top of that, within this first episode he is deliberately made to have no redeeming qualities, nothing that could make him sympathetic in any way. The Sludge Villain fiasco isn't until ep2, and in this one he literally tells Deku to kill himself, reaching peak middle school bully. He destroys something the Main Protagonist clearly treasures and is privelaged in every conceivable way, even his (later obviously intense) desire to be a hero is simplified to monetary gain, with "I'll be even richer than All Might himself!!!" (or something to that effect). Later on I'd explain such a line to be a result of young Baku trying to quantify his future success, something he never mentions again after the Sludge Villain.

In these first twenty minutes of the anime, he's been absolutely dragged through the mud. Not only is he this arrogant, selfish, mean bully, he's also the sort of bully we can all relate to having, making him even more dislikable! It's so easy for an audience to write him off as irredeemable almost immediately.

But then comes ep2. Seasoned anime watchers likely brush over some small details, but the fact that the Sludge Villain attack happens when Bakugou is 14? Wow. At this point no one likes him, and to many people seeing this happen could come across as a sort of karmic punishment, deserving and therefore less sympathetic. And so Horikoshi succeeds in continuing to make him dislikable but also adding depth to this character who so clearly believed he was invincible.

However, any such depth is pretty much ignored by the audience. I've watched many reactions, and, at this point, due to Bakugou's sub par personality, most people don't care about what happened upon first viewing. To be fair, it's treated as background until Deku steps in and proves himself a hero, at which point he's promised a quirk and That's all anyone can think about.

(also there's some symbolism in this ep because Bakugou and Deku were both attacked by the Sludge Villain and saved by All Might, showing they are actually equals in character and have a lot in common.)

Anyway, so for the first few episodes no one gives two shits about Bakugou because he's meant to be dislikable. He's set up to be as bad as possible without needing to be arrested/never being redeemable. Yet, he's also not clearly set up to be redeemed whatsoever. Let me explain:

Quick break from bnha to head over to atla, Zuko is the perfect redemption arc. And some of that can be attributed to his presentation in the first few episodes: where he's portrayed as antagonistic but still honourable, and has a tragic past. He's the sort of character you know isn't actually bad at heart. But Bakugou hasn't got any tragic back story to speak of, and certainly isn't honourable, so we don't expect a redemption.

That's so interesting to me, because it basically means his character could go in any direction but most shounen fans expect him to be the typical rival. He's mean now and will be mean later, nbd. Will probably betray Deku in order to gain more power. That sort of stuff.

But, as the first season progresses, we're shown that Bakugou (on top of all of his anger issues and cruelty) is also so incredibly determined, to the point where it's harmful. A lot of people, even in season three, expect him to accept the LoV's offer, but as early as ep7 he's shown to be dedicated to being the best on his own. He utterly fails at pretending to be a villain, and doesn't manage to work with his "villain" teammate. When the USJ attack rolls around, he fights alongside Deku.

I feel like I've just word babbled for a while so here's a picture:

Isn't that adorable? Anyway, I continue.

Okay, recap: Bakugou is presented initially as bad and in no way sympathetic, but throughout season one some of his good qualities do get highlighted.

The Sports Festival is probably when I was most on edge about who my favourite character was. Todoroki vs Deku vs Bakugou was a whole internal debate. We all know who eventually won though. Point is, this is the first time Bakugou is supposed to seem likeable.

Like, yes, he helped out at the USJ, but he was still reckless and angry about it. In this arc his flaws stop seeming so antagonistic (even though he's now more at odds with 1-A than he's ever been) and are framed humorously; if you think about it, the only times you're not rooting for Bakugou in this whole arc is when you're laughing at his antics. He stops seeming like a massive unforgivable bully and becomes a secondary threat behind Todoroki, even though he ultimately wins the Festival.

One of the first things he does in the season is tell people messing with their class go away, albeit bluntly, and is then complimented for it by Kirishima, who is the nicest guy in the class! No longer are we supposed to necessarily dislike him, as he's being developed after all of season 1. Him saying "I'm gonna win" as his speach is expected by the audience and laughed at- absolutely nobody watching was scared he'd hurt Deku in some terrible way due to it.

The cavalry battle demonstrates that he can work in a team after some adjustment time, and he gets his own antagonist (Monoma) who we all root against! This makes us closer to his character, as in a way we have a common enemy.

Then obviously the single battles are super interesting, his one against Uraraka especially turning people to his side. Since Aizawa, who as an audience we trust after his actions at the USJ, backs up Bakugou's actions, we accept them as the right thing to have done. Especially since Bakugou later calls Uraraka "not fragile", demonstrating that he can respect people and actually isn't as discriminatory as his earlier actions against Deku might lead one to believe. Everything about this fight is pure gold.

The rest of his fights are also very interesting, so let me go off on a little tangent. He's the only person to 1) be uninjured by the end of the festival (he did win tho so...) and 2) he's the only person to win all of his fights by forcing his opponent into submission. He knocks out Uraraka and Kirishima, goes to knock out Tokoyami but has him give up instead and then knocks out Todoroki! His fights are so much more violent than the others, who are primarily trying to win by pushing their opponent out of the ring or by immobilising them, which could make him come across as more aggressive (which he is). But it actually works for his character considering the way he demonstrates respect is by giving his all, therefore in order to show he cares about these fights he has to go for absolutely decimating the person against him.

Also, interesting side note to all that, out of our main three festival contenders, Bakugou is the only one who actually needs to use the festival for its intended purpose: impressing scouts. Todoroki, as the son of Endeavour, is already known throughout the hero community as a promising young talent, and could even get the No2 hero to coach him if he so wished. Deku even says himself that he doesn't necessarily need to get scouted when All Might is already teaching him. Out of the three Bakugou has the most incentive to actually show off here, no guilt/baggage required.

Anyway blah Stain arc blah. Bakugou picks Jeanist to intern with, which many might think makes him shallow. Their quirks are in no way similar and their images are almost diametrically opposing, and Bakugou only chose him because he's such a highly ranked hero. However, I believe the creators crafted this pairing in order to convey how good of a future hero Bakugou promises to be. BJ, in these episodes, is all talk. He's such a superficial hero that, in order to rectify Bakugou's foul personality, he gives him a haircut. He demonstrates the arrogant nature that Stain hates so much. Meanwhile, Bakugou ignores him and is still arrogant in his own way, obviously, but not for anything other than his own pride. He, when you break it down, spends all of his time working towards a genuinely good goal, just to prove to himself that he's worthy- no desire for fans or fame in there, he wants success but isn't actually looking for any of the perks that come with it. This, imo, makes him better than BJ. Also, Bakugou never actually says he is working with BJ due to his rank and could be doing it because their quirks botha require so much time, practice and effort.

Okay, so, now for the final exams. This is where I decided he was my favourite. He works with Deku etc and proves to the audience that he can work with him and won't necessarily become a villain, plus All Might lets loose a little and proves he too can be violent and mean.

What I really love is about ep24 s2 is actually the bit that makes a lot of people chuckle: where Bakugou bites AM's hand. This kid has been giving his absolute all, putting every ounce of strength into beating his idol, because, lbh, his self worth depends on his success here, until he literally cannot raise his arms to punch anymore. And yet, he still refuses to go down, despite every odd against him. Something about that tenacity is just so incredible to me.

It's almost 1am, let's have another break, shall we?

Idk I thought it was funny when it came onto my dash.

Btw, it's now I wish I knew how to hide most of a post lololol.

Season three is just Baku's season, ngl. Like,,, so many of his Stans got their start here, and it's not hard to tell why. A big reason why Bakugou felt irredeemable was because he had no reason to be so mean, but the narrative makes up for that by then putting him through so many bad experiences.

There's been a million metas on why he's so perfect in this season, and this is already abhorrently long, but ah well.

Okay so he's captured by the League through no fault of his own. As the audience when we find out Bakugou is missing we immediately think he's done the dumb thing and gone off on his own, but it's quickly revealed that he's already been kidnapped. Tokoyami is also taken, cementing that the LoV are looking for kids with some villainous feature, but also showing that their perception of what makes a child villainous is skewed, since we know Tokoyami is good.

At the hideout Baku is entirely restrained and silent, so clearly against his will. If we remember every other time he's been restrained (so goddamn many) we'll think back to the Sludge Villain, finding out Deku had a quirk, after his *win* against Todoroki and his internship with BJ. In this way, it's obvious to tell that this is all a Bad experience for him, as those were all very negative times in his life. There's no way he'll join them.

None of the pros even consider it a possibility. Aizawa defends him against the press (and, once again, we like Aizawa! So we trust him) and none of his classmates think he could be evil, they're all primarily concerned for his safety. Even BJ, who insinuated that Baku could easily become a villain, doesn't appear to believe he'll turn down that path.

Also Baku is pretty cool when he fights of the villain like I'm ngl.

And then, when he sees All Might? And his face screws up? With his lip trembling? It's undercut with a joke but he's so obviously just a scared/relieved kid in that moment and it's gut wrenching to remember that.

It's really getting late and I'm at 11% here so speed round through the provisional licence exam.

He can tell Shindou is two faced

Even though he's blunt he's still got the instincts and smarts of a hero

The class looks up to him

Aizawa has a lot of favouritism for this child, y'all, how did I not notice this?

His failure here is intrinsic to his character growth as it means he hits absolute rock bottom and we can move onto:

Deku Vs Kacchan 2

Where to even start. The guilt and pain he experiences has made me tear up several times just from thinking about them, and that GODDAMN VOICE CRACK AS HE YELLS nope it hurts too bad.

It's sort of the culmination of every emotional issue Bakugou has exhibited throughout the series. He can't find self worth without constant praise and pressures himself to be unimaginably perfect, to a self destructive point. He has no support system in place to help him with these issues. His anger stops being repetitive/funny/annoying and is finally, clearly shown to be more damaging to himself than to anyone else, as he feels the only way he can deal with his stress and hurt is by lashing out at those who try to help him.

In this fight we also learn why Deku, even though he's Baku's victim, still looks up to him so much. And the whole dynamic is so perfect I might cry rn.

I am annoyed, though, that further than that Baku's mental health has been pretty much entirely ignored for 200 manga chapters. Probably my only complaint about him.

At an entirely selfish level, I can relate to Bakugou. Obviously I'm not a teenage boy with explosion powers who bullies people in order to feel any self worth, but the high standards for himself? The pain at any failures? Being told through childhood how great you are only for it to be torn away in your teens? That's all so painfully relatable to me, and so I feel an even deeper connection with his character.

One last picture to finish off:

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tempest-zephyr · 4 years

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Well, I got an offer for a job. I’m not entirely excited about the position though since it’s contracted data entry position. It’s going to be monotonous, but I’ve had much worse jobs that have paid less. I’ve also had a better job that paid more, which was my seasonal job with the state DEP (although it was less than a dollar more, and it was only seasonal and not permanent.) My mixed feelings about working for the company is that it’s a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company. Yay, selling out to big pharma.

I know this doesn’t have to be forever, but was wishing to avoid being a part of a system that actively harms others. I was hoping to hear back from another municipal city for a job as a drinking water filtration operator, which would pay more and I’ve been studying and putting all this time in and paying for classes and testing and networking in the water field for was seems like the past year. Like I’m currently starting an online class with the Springfield Community college so I can be allowed to take the T2 exam (not so humble brag, but I don’t think I really need this class. However, it’s required to pass it to even take the T2 license exam, so I have to do it.) but this company came back quicker and I can’t just wait for a “what-if?” on that other position ( also I did a mediocre job during that interview, so Idk if I’d actually would be offer it anyways.) I didn’t even apply for this data entry position myself, some random recruiter came in out of nowhere and messaged me on LinkedIn about it.

During the interview the lady mentioned professional development opprotunities they have, which I hope can teach me more about stuff that isn’t just basic data entry. Like stuff that I can put on my resume, and maybe spin it like I’ve done data analyst things, which would at least be more valuable. At least I know they’re inclusive about diversity things since the interviewer mentioned groups in that company without me even prompting them. Doing this is really going toward the neoliberal route. I might as well vote for bootlicking buttigieg. #Blessed #GirlBoss #BossBabe But I’m still feeling pretty damaged from that last job I got fired at and maybe I need some time to feel safe from all that. I never really went into it before, so I guess I’ll explain it now.

It was really rather unprofessional from their side. I was asked by two of coworkers how long I planned on staying here during the first month I was there, and I said maybe 3-4 years. I answered that because I’ve worked in a toxic work place before, and I knew I never wanted to do that again, ever. I didn’t want to commit to saying “I’ll be here forever. oh boy, I’ll buy a house here with a picket fence and start a family here” after only being there for less than 2 months. That’s like saying you’ll get married after only going on 2 dates. I thought being honest was a good thing, but no. Now I have trust issues. Apparently what I said was bad and my boss fired me after those coworkers told him. It seemed like he wanted someone there for like at least a dozen years. I didn’t even get to talk to him, he had the recruiter lay it on me after I drove home on a Friday. He said later in an email he went looking for me, but I know that’s a fat lie because I was at the office during that day. The recruiter was also rather unsavory with how she presented it. It really sounded like she was taking his side without even getting my side by saying like he felt “betrayed” because he was going to invest in my training. Which oh man, this is just the tip of the ice berg. I also felt uncomfortable saying I wanted to be there for forever because of the rather large work “culture” rift between me and the other guys. Like the first week, the 1st week, when I was shadowing with one guy, he was actively oogling some random lady from in the company vehicle; you know, the one with the huge company logo and their phone number on it. The lady clearly noticed him because she gave this scrunched frown and glared back, and all he said was “oops, forgot I wasn’t wearing my [sun]glasses.” They also called each other gay and fags to rib on each other. They at least didn’t call me that, but it’s just so juvenile, unprofessional, and it really made me feel not welcome at all. Even my supervisor called something gay offhandedly. When I confronted him about the other guys doing this, his response was a ridiculous “boys will be boys, that’s just how guys who work in this field are” non-answer answer. He only apologized when I mentioned him doing it. I even heard them use a polack joke and also during the first week they were being peak boomer making millennial jokes, even though I’m pretty sure half of them are millennials or gen x. The recruiter also said my boss mentioned that I was “disrespectful of company property” referring to a tiny thing I did to one of the vans when I backed up to a chain-link fence with a plastic coating on it. It was just some easily buffed out plastic residue on the side of the van, and apparently, he had to tack that on as a reason. Like look do you see anything?!

There’s nothing there and I bet the reason they threw me under the bus was because they wanted a more legit sounding reason why they fired me listed on paper if they got audited. I don’t know why I got chastised for this when another guy literally shattered a back window of a van a week prior because he forgot to tie down the hand truck trolly. After this experience, I never want to work in anything related with blue-collar jobs again. I’ve been away from that job longer than I was even there, but hese past couple of months have been really shit because of this intense loss of trust for anybody. I was ready to beckon Nyx to come down an wipe humanity off the planet.

I’ve been feeling better over time, but I’m still not quite where I’d like to be. I don’t feel as hopeful about the future as I was before all this. Perhaps doing something different might help for now.

Edit: I wrote this last night and well, I called the water utility place, and they said they chose someone else, so at least that gives me a sense of closure and eliminates those what-if feelings, so I feel a bit more free to move on. They could have at least contacted back to tell me that themselves instead of me having to go after them.

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