#of them together or mentions of each other. also probably talk of the wedding on tk's end :D. anyway xD)
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Dream a Little Dream of Me
Description: It's all true, Jedi can read minds. You've been trained to keep people's thoughts about you for so long. It went well until the day you caught Din's fantasy involving you.
Pairing: The Mandalorian (Din Djarin) x Female Jedi!Reader
Series: Expanding Clan Mudhorn
Tags: Established Relationships, Mand’alor Din Djarin, A Sprinkle of Family Fluff, Sexual Fantasy, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex (f receiving), Unprotected p-in-v, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Lactation Kink
CW: Reader has AFAB characterization, uses she/her pronouns, is able-bodied, has depicted body changes related to pregnancy and breastfeeding, and hair that can be pulled during sex. No Use of Y/N. Consent Issues: Reader peaks into Din's fantasy. NSFW MINORS DNI
Length: 2.7k
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According to urban legends, jedi can read minds. That's true, well, to an extent.
Jedi can read unshielded minds. A Jedi’s mental shield helps to prevent their minds so they’re not easily read, but also to prevent them from accidentally reading a non-force sensitive’s mind. This knowledge helped you survive being chased around the galaxy during the Empire’s reign. Imps are weak-minded and you could easily get any information you needed by reading their mind.
As you grew older, some thoughts people had about you turned sexual. Some got you blushing, like the one from a spacer who fantasized about sweet-talking you into having a quickie in the back of the cantina, some others were just plain disturbing and had you slamming a mental shield as quick as you can before fleeing the parameter with your blaster clutched in your hand.
During the old Jedi-Mandalorian war era, Mando'ade have found a way to keep the jetiise out of their head. Beskar helmets are effective for as long as you can remember, but apparently, there's a loophole. Beskar can't block a jedi who's already soul-bonded to a Mandalorian. There might not be any data about this, but let's be real, there's barely any noted soul bonds between a jedi and Mandalorian throughout history.
This explains the weird sync you and Din have. People have mentioned how you complete each other, that you have almost the same opinions on things, how you two always make the same decisions, both politically and on the battlefield. Some might even suggest that you and him finish each other's sentences. It's a cliché, written in teenager’s holonovels. So you're used to laughing it off, deflecting that you probably just spent too much time together, that between leading and parenting, agreeing on the same thing is just what spouses do. The Armorer called you ‘two halves of one warrior’ at your wedding ceremony. It should’ve ring an alarm in your mind, but in your defense, you were too busy getting swooned off your feet.
It became apparent one day when you met him in a small bakery, just a few minutes away from the Keldabe Palace, when he wasn’t supposed to be done until much later in the day. You’ve been craving Keshian Spice Rolls all day and you figured it was a great day to take the kids out, enjoy the sun and a little sweet treats, then surprise your hard-working riduur with a box of pastries back in the palace. Imagine your surprise when you stepped into a bakery and saw him already queuing.
“Rid’ika!” He called, waving to you from the line. You skipped over the lines, smiling and nodding to everyone as you made your way to your riduur. Din took Grogu from you so you can lift Aranar, who’s busy charming everyone off with his toothy grin, up.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, holding his offered hand. “You have to meet the Prince of Bespin in half an hour.”
“I know, but I heard they are baking Keshian Spice Rolls. So I went to buy you some.” Din shrugged, not once caring about the Prince having to wait for him to get back from spoiling his riduur. “And what about you? I thought you have a bes'kad class for the verd’ike this afternoon.”
“The class won’t start for another two hours and I really want a spice roll.”
You heard people behind you aww-ing and you buried your face into his shoulder, humming when you feel cool beskar against your blushing cheek. Din smiled behind his helmet, paying for three spice rolls to go, never once he let your hand go. You got back to the palace with twenty minutes to spare and herded the ad’ike to the Mand’alor’s office.
“Knock when you need him and don’t come in before I answer.” You rushed into the room when you spotted Kryze marching to stop you.
“You two better not be having se-”
“Young ears, Kryze! Manda, we’re just gonna eat Spice Rolls!” You held the pastry packages up for her to see, holding your laughter when you saw her scowling.
“Spice rolls better not be a code for something else, Djarin! You have a meeting in twenty minutes!”
Din closed the door on her face and you locked it with the force for good measure before dissolving into giggles. Din lifted his helmet up and immediately pressed a longing kiss to your lips. The kiss was uncoordinated since the two of you couldn’t stop grinning. The kiss, and the pastries were heavenly, Grogu and Aranar shared a piece, for your peace of mind. After all, it was you who had to wrangle two sugar-high toddlers in the training yard as you teach advanced sword techniques to a group of heavily armed teenagers who happened to be Mandalore's newly sworn warriors.
The impending knock finally came and you shared another sugary sweet kisses with your riduur before you put his helmet back on and sent him away to his duty. The door was barely closed when you were hit with realization.
Fuck, you thought. We’re soul-bonded.
**
Overall, there are worse people to be soul-bonded with. Having one with your own riduur is not a bad thing at all. Having one with your riduur without any source to soul-bond knowledge, however, is another piece of work. Putting a mental shield up against your own riduur feels wrong but you do it anyway, respecting his privacy to his own mind.
Until today.
Today, you feel a gentle nudge at your brick wall of a mental shield, laced with Din's warm force presence. You could've brushed him off and shielded yourself better, but you thought to yourself that a small peak wouldn't be bad.
You're wrong. Oh, you're so wrong because it's bad. Your hand directly flies towards your mouth and you try to stifle a moan as a yawn.
In his fantasy, Din had you bent over the meeting table and he's pounding into you. He has his hand on the small of your back, pressing you down to the table. You're completely naked against the table, pinned beneath the beskar of his armor. You can hear the filthy sound of his cock ramming into your sopping cunt. Din grabs a fistful of your hair, making you cry his name out loud, losing yourself to the stretch and the hard thrusts of Din's cock.
“Oh fuck-” you grit your teeth, clenching your fist on your thigh. You sit there, stunned, breathless, unable to stop watching.
“Can you feel how good this pussy stretches around me, rid’ika?” Din grunts, holding you so close to his hips while his fingers reach down, rubbing your swollen clit. “Such a good girl, do you wanna cum, mesh'la? Wanna soak my cock and make me give you another ik’aad?”
Maker, yes! You thought, trying your damn hardest not to whine while the version of you in his mind is whimpering and begging him to make you cum. Din leans to your ear, telling you to come. You’re shuddering in his arm, moaning his name in a punched out noise with a telltale sign of orgasm, and you snap yourself out of his imagination.
You put your strongest mental shield up and you lean to the plush seat, blinking and looking around the room as you settle yourself back to reality. Din is sitting on the head of the table, looking over his own datapad as he watches a member of his council talk about Mandalore’s quarterly budget report. If you didn’t know better, you’d think your riduur is actively listening to the report instead of daydreaming about fucking you over this very table.
You tread carefully when you're back home. You put Aranar and Grogu to sleep late, making sure they are a little bit more tired than usual so they sleep soundly later tonight. Once the kids are out like lights, you take the baby monitor with you and change into one of Din’s loose shirts.
You find him still seated on the dining table, tapping things into his datapad. You smirk to yourself, walking towards him and leaning over the dining table to take your own datapad that you could easily reach if you make an extra trip to the end of the table. Din can't stop staring, making no move to help you, instead he stands up from the chair and moves to cup the swell of your ass, just like how he imagined before.
“Careful, rid’ika, you don't know what kinda game you're playing here.”
You whine when his hand moves underneath the shirt, trailing up your thigh, sending shivers up your spine. He whispers praises to your ear, biting down your jaw and your neck.
“Fuck, look at you, mesh'la, you're expecting this, huh?” He lifts the shirt up, revealing nothing underneath other than your glistening cunt. “I haven't even done anything, rid'ika, and this pretty pussy's already all wet for me.”
You moan softly when his fingers find your clit, rubbing on it as you shudder in his arms. Din sinks two fingers into your wet heat and he groans when he feels how wet you are. He thumbs on your clit as he keeps pumping in and out of your cunt, spreading your arousal all over his fingers and your inner thighs until you shake beneath him, then he pulls off of you.
“No, cyare please, I'm so close- Ah!” You cry as his fingers leave you, only to moan loudly when he kneels behind you and he slaps your soaked pussy.
“Needy girl,” he teases, slapping your clit again, ignoring your cries. He parts your folds with his tongue until his smart mouth finds your clit and he starts sucking on the sensitive nub. You grip the edge of the table tightly as you grind against his face, smearing your arousal all over his lower face. Din tuts, holding your hips in place, chuckling when he sees your hole clenches around nothing.
“You know what you get for being such a good girl, cyar’ika?” Din asks, his fingers are back on your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerve in a tight circle as you buck violently against his fingers. “Good girl gets to come on my face.”
His lips are back on you, kissing, lapping, and sucking until you're a whimpering mess. You let out a high pitched whine and you come on his mouth, flooding him with your arousal as he keeps on sucking on your lips as you ride your orgasm.
Din grabs your chin towards him and he kisses you hard, his lips are glistening with the mixture of your cum and his spit and you can taste yourself on the tip of his tongue. Din pulls off of you and he turns you around, lifting you up to the edge of the table. He lays you down and he parts your legs with a steady hand on your inner thigh, keeping them apart so he can admire his hard work, your drenched cunt glistening with your sweet come. Din groans then he spits on your cunt, adding to the mess before smearing everything around with the thick head of his cock. He's painfully hard, his foreskin is pulled all the way back, revealing the flared tip, steadily leaking precum all over you. He lines himself up with your entrance and fucks all the way into you in one push. You watch as his thick cock stretches your hole, feeling yourself clinging to his girth, fluttering around him as you struggle to take his size. Both of you moan when he finally buries himself deep inside you, still holding tight to each other.
“Maker, been thinking about this sweet pussy all day.”
Oh, I know. You thought. “Yeah? Did you think about fucking me, ner riduur? Thought about how my pussy clenches around your cock? Did you think about filling me up with your cum until I'm swollen with your adi'ka?” You taunt him, circling your legs on his hips to keep him buried deep inside of you.
“Fuck!” Din swears, hissing while he steadily leaks precum all over your wet heat, leaning his head to yours and rutting deep against your sweet spot. “You're playing with fire, rid'ika. Can't just say things like that.”
“But I want you to,” you beg, moaning wantonly when he starts pumping in and out of you. “Want you to keep fucking me until I'm so full and swollen with your baby.”
Din growls, pounding deep into you with punishing pace. He's watching you, watching your cunt swallowing his cock, watching your face grow slack with pleasure. You slip your hands under the shirt, covering your breast and squeezing them, making your milk leak until there's a wet patch over the shirt.
“Filthy girl,” Din grunts, pawing on the piece of clothing. “Lift it up baby, let me see.”
You lift the shirt up, revealing your breasts for him, shiny from both milk and sweat. Beads of your milk trickling from your nipples, leaking steadily as he fucks into you. He slips one engorged nipple to his mouth, sucking until he can taste you on his tongue while his fingers play with the abandoned one, rubbing and squeezing, spraying him with milk.
“Everything about you is just so sweet, rid'ika, my perfect girl.” He praises. He licks your nipple clean before switching to the other side, pressing open mouthed kisses before bringing the sensitive buds to his mouth and sucking on it, drinking you until he's full while his hand loves on the other one. His cock never stops pounding into you, bringing you closer and closer with each snaps of his hips.
He folds your legs into a mating press, tucking your knees against your chest and his cock is so deep inside you. So deep he reaches your cervix, kissing your womb with his tip. You clench hard around his length, your wall seizes violently around him, milking him irresistibly as he keeps hitting the spot that makes you see stars, begging him to please, never stop. You're wailing as your whole body shakes, tipping your head back and moaning Din's name so loud he has to cover your mouth with his palm, worried the filthy noises of the snap of his balls slapping your ass, your loud moans, and the squelching sound of your wet pussy might wake the sleeping kids up.
With a shaky shudder, you come down from your high, whining as Din keeps fucking you, chasing his own orgasm. After a few brutal thrust, your riduur groans loudly, shouting punched out moans as he peaks. His cock twitches in your soaked, messy cunt, filling you with his hot cum, flooding your insides and claiming you his. He kisses your lips, muffling both your moans, only parting to plant another kiss to your temple while he pumps you full of his cum, murmuring sweet, loving praises and filthy promises to you.
“That's a good girl, rid'ika. Take it, baby, gonna get you all round and pregnant. That's what you want, right? Want to give me another? Want to be bred all over again?”
Din keeps rutting with you until you both shake from overstimulation and he gently pulls out of you. He admires your blissed, fucked out face, trailing soft kisses down your jaw and your neck, sucking his marks all over your body. You tip his jaw up and catch his lips in another kiss, laced with a content smile, before breaking away to whisper sweet I love yous to each other.
Din gathers you in his arms, carrying you to the bedroom and lowering you gently into your shared bed. He leaves for the fresher, fetching a damp rag to clean you up before slipping into his side of bed beside you. He pulls you close, kissing your lips lovingly and rearranges the covers, tucking you into his arms.
“You're my dream girl, you know that right?”
“I tried,” you smile contently, caressing the scruff of his jaw softly.
“You don't have to,” Din mutters, humming when you snuggle closer to him, pressing your heartbeat over his. “You're perfect just the way you are.”
You exchange more kisses, lazily making out in bed until sleep takes over, safely nestled in each other's arms.
About a few weeks later, you start to feel the tiniest flutter in the force.
#expending clan mudhorn#din djarin x reader#din djarin x female reader#din djarin x you#din djarin fanfiction#the mandalorian x reader#the mandalorian fanfiction#the mandalorian#din djarin#the mandalorian smut#din djarin smut#din djarin imagine#pedro boys#pedro pascal fic#star wars#star wars fanfiction
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WAIT TWO EPISODES LEFT???!?!!?
HOW IS THAT RIGHT?? THAT CAN'T BE POSSIBLE
Okay we'll think about that in a second lol
Oh dang oof o.o
It's literally on fire 😬
Ope dang why is that scar so big and like idk weird looking xd xD
O.O NEVERMIND THERE'S MY ANSWER
UHHHH WHAT THE HECK??!?
Uh ohh some girl 😬😬
OH NO this ain't gonna be good :(( yeah Grace is right-
CORIQBXUFSNLP GRAAACE???!!?!!!?
NAH GRACE NOT HER Y'ALL AIN'T DOING THIS TO ME
I mean I'm sure she'll be fine but still my girl don't deserve this 😭 xD
UHH OHHHH
O.O 😬😬😬😬
OHHH NO OH NO OH NO O.O 😳😬😬😭😭
THISSSS AIN'T GOOD THIS AIN'T GOOD THIS AIN'T GOOOOD
O.O
ಠ_ಠ
Oh gosh xdd
Btw we don't talk about how I'm an hour behind lol
Typing this right around 9 XD
3 minutes after now but I would've been ending here around 9 if my wifi hadn't been struggling for a minute lol
Also ohh it's probably two episodes until the finale lol
I thought of that after a minute (like around the end of the promo lol when I first saw it actually at the end of the show instead of an hour later lol) and now after another minute I think it probably is xD
I had a second to check the episode count and stuff lol (not how many there are, though I couldn't remember that off the top of my head for a minute during all this xD, but what number we're on lol)
But DANG o.o
I live in fear :'))
That was the last of my last thoughts! Now it's time for the. . .
REVIEW
I loooved this episode!! I thought it was great :D. It had the DRAMA o.o but also some really hilarious moments XDD. And AAHHH not only tarlos (and Nanteo!!) crumbs but talk of the WEDDING TOOO :DD!! I mean I know it is in most episodes but still xD. Loved the multiple references by Gabriel 🥰🥰, plus talking about Lou 2 by Owen LOL. Not technically wedding talk but eh you know talk about them xD. Anyway! I am also SO GLAD everything worked out with Tommy :D. And I'm happy we got to see everyone 🥰🥰. Also, I'm scared for next episode o.o. Now that time I saw of someone mentioning that Grace and Carlos were gonna be working together again soon makes sense xDD o.o. I figure that's what it's gonna be, now that I remember I saw that mentioned lol. But! I'll talk more about that in a second :). Back to this episode, it was silly at points (even within the drama, like the little mystery music when Paul was laying it all out at the end xD) but still made the drama work, and it was just great :DD.
Now it's time for the individual parts!
Marjan, Nancy, and Mateo! Putting them together just because they're our besties and we didn't see them too much this episode :)). And pretty much whenever we did they were with each other xDD. Anyway lol! They were great this episode :DD. I'm sure they were all great at their jobs lol. We didn't actually see it xD. But yeah! They're all amazing :DD. I love each of them 🥰🥰🥰❤️.
TK and Carlos! The beginning was amazing XDD. But :OO Carlos how could you? XDD. I don't think I'm as betrayed as TK though LOL. Anyway, they were great this episode xD 🥰. And AAHHHH we got so many little cute moments of them this episode :D, I loved them all 🥰🥰. My boys :)). I love them 🥰🥰❤️❤️. And I'm sure they were both great at their jobs :D lol. About next episode though! Even though I don't like knowing too much about the episode beforehand, I couldn't resist reading the next episode's synopsis lol xD. I saw it right there when I was checking what episode we were on AND I had to lol. But :OO!! TK's uncle coming to visit!! He gets to meet him :DD!! AAHHHH I'm so glad he does 🥰🥰. And he comes with dramatic news o.o. Now for the interesting piece of information that Robert (that's his face right? Owen's brother lol) is sharing, I wasn't sure at first! Had no clue for a minute lol. But then I thought, maybe he has donor kids? Like, he donated sperm? Or Owen's dad :o? One of the two, I think. I mena if it is that lol. Becuase it would affect the family, if like those people wanted to reach out or whatever, but also it matches the episode title :OO! Right?? See that's what really cinched it for me lol. So yeah, I think that's definitely a possibility :))! I said cinched but I'm not actually sure, I just think there's a pretty good chance :)! And I mean, hey, it would be interesting! Anyway, I am really glad they get to meet :D. And that we get to see them meet, lol xD. Anyway! There was an interesting tidbit about Carlos next episode too :D. AAAHHHHHH WE GET HIM WORKING WITH GRACE AGAIN!!! YAYYY :DDD!! I'm so excited for that 🥰🥰. I mean, not the organ trafficking ring ರ_ರ, and the drama that looks like it'll come with it (more on that in Grace's section), but for the storyline :D. Anyway! I'm excited :)). But back to this episode lol: I loved them, they were great :)).
Grace and Judd! They were great this episode :DD. Them wanting the tea from Tommy was so funny XDD. And though we didn't see much of Judd this episode, he was still amazing :)). I'm sure he as great at his job. I love him 🥰🥰. Now for Grace; girl could not mind her own business lol. Nah, I'm just kidding XD, but I'm glad they did get all that sorted out. And honestly for to not want to hear people talk about your friend that way :')). My besties <333. As in, my babeys who are besties, basically lol. Basically that's what I mean, anyway. But yeah, she was great <33. And I'm sure sh was amazing at her job too :). I love her 🥰🥰. Now, for next episode o.o! I already spoke on it a bit, but I'm a bit tense for that one 😬. I didn't think of it being a possibility that she has having andidnk with the guy on purpose till I saw a comment on the promo that said she said the cheating type and was probably bait. I just figured she ran into him (not literally). But I do think she's probably bait. It makes sense! Still, in fear for my girl 😭😭💔❤️. I'm excited to see her and Carlos working together again!! Anyway, yeah, she was great this episode (both she and Judd were) :)). I'm glad everything worked out 🥰.
These next few will probably be shorter because a) I'm tired, b) most of the stuff from these past two paragraphs was because of theories for the next episode, and the people left weren't listed lol. Also, I'm not caring about the usual review order - no matter how tired I am, I'm posting this tonight xD. Basically I just mean I'm finishing this now even though I'm tired - I wanted to do a review without saving it as a draft, and having it at the back of my mind all week, so I am xD. Anyway lol!
Tommy! YESS GIRL SLAYYYY :DDDD!!! I'm so glad she and Trevor are okay :DD, and I'm so glad she stood up for herself >:DD 🥰!!! WHOOO 🥰🥳🥳🥰!! She did so great, it was awesome :)). Just- honestly just go off bestie, lol xD. The breakup was sad though 😭😭😭💔. I was hoping it wouldn't last, and I'm glad it didn't :')). They're sweet and they both deserve to be happy <333. Anyway :)). I'm sure she was great at her job this episode 🥰. I love her :'DDD ❤️❤️❤️.
Paul! My guyyyy :DDD. YESSS!!! He slayed so hard 🥰🥰. I'm so proud of him :D. From the little bit at the beginning (that I'm surprised wasn't brought back up lol, like at the hang, but in my mind definitely happens off screen before what we saw lol) - Carlos how could you by the way >:'O lol - to the main plot and case of the episode :D. He slays so hard 🥰🥰. I'm really glad he managed to solve it, to :D. Like, the whole situation wise lol - it needed solving xD. And clearly the police were already leaning one way. Even if that doesn't matter, it would've taken much longer. So yeah, I'm really proud of Paul 🥰🥰. He's just so cool :DD xD. Related but not the reason I'm proud lol. Anyway! I'm sure he was great at his job this episode 🥰. His actual job, not the one we saw, though he was clearly amazing at that :)) 🥰. And I mean, it kinda is his job xD. It's a psrt of it, anyway lol, sometimes. But yeah! I love him <3333 🥰.
Owen! I'm glad Kendra's innocent :D. I wasn't sure, but I didn't think they'd have ANOTHER crazy lady lol. You just never know though xD. But I am glad she's not :)). I felt awful for her though 😭💔. Poor girl's going through it <33. Especially with trying to DIE at the end too xdd. Not literally trying, by the way lol. I've mostly stopped feeling bad for he husband though xD. Bro was trying to kill her, karma lol. But yeah, I'm glad everything turned out okay and no one was a murderer :)). Well I mean, even the husband wasn't, but I mean none of them were to blame xD. And there wasn't another one running around lol. I'm also glad both Owen and Kendra survive xD. We love to see TK worrying about his dad though :)) 🥰🥰. I'm also glad everything worked out between Owen and Gabriel :D! That would've been one awkward wedding if not 😅 XD. Though, forgetting it was so soon, I did figure they'd resolve it by then. Or thought they probably would lol. But hey, I'm extra happy it was this episode :)). Not exactly the team up we expected for them xD, maybe even not the one we wanted lol, but it was still great nonetheless :)). And I'm glad he apologized, but Gabriel wasn't TOO out of line lol - he did share confidential information with Owen that he then blabbed to the number one suspect, even if it was for the greater good. I mean, he's not it before and it NOT end up well lol (Sadie, and even though it was fake, Billy in 2x12). But! Still, I'm glad theyre okay again :)). They are gonna make great consuegros 🥰🥰 lol. Also I find it funny that neither Owen nor TK knew what it meant lol. Idk, it's just a little parallel lol. Anyway! I'm sure Owen was great at his job this episode :). Though I don't know if he was actually on shift once today xD. Eh, anyway lol. I'm glad everything's good 🥰🥰. I love him :D ❤️❤️ <3.
Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! I thought it was great :DD. I really liked the two main plots, and the little side bits were fun too :)). I think the drama and humor balanced really well! Especially because somehow the murder investigation plot was a lot more severe/dire, and the other one would appear to be more a funny storyline, but it had its own drama and they still someone went along well with each other xD. It did provide a bit of a lighter side, balancing the episode, but it definitely still had its drama lol! Anyway, I feel like next episode will be a bit more drama 😬. Well, maybe not more, and maybe not less jokes, but less of a closer to comedic relief plotline. Tommy's wasn't of course, but it was deifnitley lighter, and the bits with Grace especially were on the funnier side lol. I think the Grace and Carlos storyline will be the more serious one (with laugh moments still), but I think it'll be a bit more dramatic all around. I'm struggling a bit to explain, but yeah xD. It just feels like it'll have a bit of andifferent tone from this one, even though Tommy's eas definitely dramatic and had a good amount of serious moments. Maybe it just because we're drawing closer to the end of the season ┐( ∵ )┌. Like they said, two episodes left - it just makes it feel like it's gonna be more intense XD. But again, two episodes left until the finale lol. Anyway, that took a while to explain, but yeah XD. Plus we'll have calls, or at least the one, so it'll be different in that way. And that call looks wild, by the way o.o. Anyway, yeah, I'm definitely really excited :DD. But I'm scared and way nervous too 😳😬 o.o. Which I think is fair lol. I'm sure everything will turn out okay though 🥰. But back to this episode, I thought it was really great :). I think it worked really well :D. And I'm glad Paul got a moment (a full episode :D) to shine 🥰🥰. Also, I'm happy we got to see everybody 🥰. Even if only a bit, for some people :).
So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was really great. I'm nervous for the next one! This has been my review of. . .
9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 14: Tongues Out
It was great! I'm super excited for the next episode, but I'm pretty scared too. I'll be back next week with my review of. . .
9-1-1: Lone Star, Season 4, Episode 15: Donors
See you next week!
#9-1-1 lone star#911 lone star#oasis's 9-1-1 chatter#that last paragraph ended up long but whatever xD#just got wrapped up trying to explain what I meant and while I cut some of it when I found a better thing to say I didn't wanna totally#rework it if I got rid of more lol#plus I just felt like it was more clear that way#even though it's not very clear XD but I could explain more lol#anyway!!!#great episode very dramatic but also very funny 10/10 :DD#I am scared for the next one though xdd but I'm sure everything will turn out fine :)) and I'm VERY excited - both main storylines sound#super good :D plus yk they include tarlos so bonus (even though it's separate lol - especially since we'll porbably get small bits#of them together or mentions of each other. also probably talk of the wedding on tk's end :D. anyway xD)#but yeah!! loved this episode :)) really great 🥰🥰❤️#and I'm really proud of myself for getting this review out now :D#no saving as a draft and it's the same day 🥰🥰#an hour and a half before midnight :DDD#also I had to get up at one point right before owen's (literally typed his name and then got up) so I was less sleepy afterwards lol#anyway xDD :)))#I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333!!!!
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Ok, I know we're all still talking about the Bowuigi face grab, and don't get me wrong, it's a great scene and it deserves to be talked about, but I want to talk about my favorite scene in the movie
The Brother's Reuniting:
If you watch it, you can see Mario pull Luigi down, and press their foreheads together, before they hug. There's a battle going on right next to them- but they're only looking at each other. Holding each other, staring into the other's eyes, and just proving to themselves that they're okay.
They had to spend the entire movie apart, and in this scene, it's obvious the toll that this has taken on them. Mario even mentions in one scene that they've never been apart this long- and it happens in the middle of a new world and kingdom that they've never seen before? In the middle of a war? While one of them was locked in a dungeon, and about to sacrificed in the name of a forced wedding?
It's horrible for them, they're both on the brink of breaking down this entire movie (mostly Luigi, but Mario had his moments) and in this moment, right after Luigi almost died, where they're finally reunited, they don't care about anything elae in the world more than they care about each other.
Mario and Luigi need each other, no doubt about it. And it's not a one sided thing either- it's not cowardly Luigi needs big brother Mario to protect him- its Mario and Luigi cannot exist without each other.
I could go on for hours about how this movie shows just how much Mario needs Luigi, and I WILL, but not tonight (but probably tomorrow.).
Just, ugh, this scene was so good, and so meaningful. It's absolutely going down as one of my favorite scenes in cinema
ALSO:
LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE TO SEE EACH OTHER
LOOK AT THEM
MARIO IS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS, AND LUIGI IS GRINNING SO HARD
JUST-
UGGGGGGGGGHHH
NOBODY TOUCH ME 😭
#bowuigi#luigi#mario#super mario bros#super mario movie#super mario movie spoilers#spoilers to super mario movie#spoilers#does this post make sense?#probably not#but it is almost three in the morning rn so...#🤷♀️#izzy ramblez
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Somebody’s Watching Me Part 2
Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader (she/her pronouns used, reader is implied British and given backstory)
Category: I still don’t know but it’s coming together
Summary: On a night out with your friends, you’re pleasantly surprised to run into your secret observer.
Warnings: flirting (Ghost and reader getting some action, they deserve it), mentions of war/death, talks of scars, alcohol consumption, Ghost being normal AND weird, the mask is off again, Ghost doing domestic things almost (socialisation in a pub), sexual references, family issues, reader’s friends are intense, British terminology/slang, swearing/cursing, dialogue heavy, minute Soap slander (I love him but couldn’t resist)
Word Count: 5.5k (longer than part 1)
A/N: After the love I got for part 1, I decided to continue so Simon is still my babygirl. Please remember that if Simon feels out of character, that’s the point of this story. It’s him when he’s not being Ghost but being forced to mix aspects of his life at home and his life at work - the work aspects being reader. Also he’s going out of his comfort zone to please the sergeant (you) because he likes you but just hasn’t really realised it yet. Not entirely sure I’m as pleased with this part as I was with the first but we’re posting anyway!
Part 1 available here.
Part 3 available here.
It took weeks before your friends finally managed to convince you to join them on a night out. You'd been putting it off for a number of reasons. One being that the thought of socialising in a crowded environment had you wanting to gouge your eyes out as you'd grown used to little to no company. Another being that you genuinely thought it'd be overwhelming and you might have a panic attack.
But after they'd assured you that they'd look after you and you could all leave if it got to be too much, you relented and organised a time and place with them. Just your local pub on a Wednesday night. You'd decided on a Wednesday as you hoped it wouldn't be too crowded and that your friends might need a pick-me-up in the middle of their work weeks. They agreed quickly with the idea.
And honestly it'd been nice for the most part. You'd arrived early, you swear active duty had made you so time efficient that you spent almost no time at all getting ready, and sat down at a table in the corner, out of sights of the most of the rest of the pub. The only thing in direct eye line was the bar itself which would come in handy when you needed to go up and order drinks.
Your friends all slowly arrived, none of them being too late, and gave you big greetings as they hadn't seen you in "forever" they claimed. You returned hugs and kisses and prepared yourself for a night of bombarding questions and retelling of war stories.
A couple of your girlfriends were bought drinks by guys at the bar and you watched on in amusement as they giggled about it together. They assured you that someone would probably buy you a drink if you asked but you waved them off saying you didn't care, which you didn't.
You listened intently as they all told you what was happening with their lives - work, significant others, kids, families, pets, parties, weddings, funerals, birthdays, anything and everything you could possibly imagine. A note of envy settled in your stomach at one point but it went away quickly when you told yourself you were being silly.
Telling them about your life was slightly more complicated. You had to skirt around some of the details of your job as it was classified and would probably horrify them if they knew what you truly did. You gushed about some of the amazing people you'd met and mentioned casually that you'd actually bumped into your lieutenant in the supermarket. They all absorbed it with wide eyes of wonder and amazement, each of them having at least one question to ask.
"So, wait, you can actually shoot a gun?"
"Does it bother you having to bunk with a bunch of blokes?"
“What’s said country like?”
"Are any of them fit?"
"Isn't it tiring?"
"How long until you go back?"
"Met anyone you fancy?"
"Hang on, you have to share a communal bathroom?"
Yes, it's alright, not really, they're okay, very, not sure, oh my god, yeah.
They never really seemed satisfied with your answers and always wanted you to elaborate. Which you did if possible.
Overall, it was nice. There was no sense of impending doom or a weird feeling in your stomach about the whole thing. You let your guard down just enough for once to attempt to have a good time. Which you did. You laughed, you chatted, you drank, it was good.
Until the bar tender came over with a drink that looked exactly like what you usually ordered.
And when he placed it in front of you, you wanted to throw up.
"Fella at the bar bought this for you."
This was it. The moment in the night that you looked forward to the least and the moment your friends had been encouraging the most. They insisted that you needed to "put yourself out there more" and “try to get laid at some point”. You were "too uptight" as they put it. Little did they know that you weren't really interested in a quick shag or even a relationship with anyone at the moment. And rejecting someone was always awful. Every time they asked why and having to explain that your job made romantic entanglements extremely hard made things awkward.
"Ooh, this is so exciting!" One of your friends squealed beside you, frantically searching the bar for the culprit. "Which one?"
“Blond one.”
Oh.
"Tall."
My.
"Scars on his face."
God.
Your eyes shot towards the bar and immediately landed on him. Of course he was already looking your way with his drink raised to you.
"Shit." You cursed, silently letting out a sigh of relief that it wasn't someone you'd have to reject but all the more anxious because it was him. A part of you was very excited to see him though.
"What is it? Do you know him?" Another friend asked you.
"He's my lieutenant. Fuck." You stood from your seat, grabbing the drink.
"The one from the shops?"
"Yeah. I'll be back in a minute, guys. I'm just gonna go say hi." You explained, slowly making your way towards Ghost.
"Take your time!"
You hadn't seen your lieutenant since he'd gone over to your place for tea. It was a weird experience. Weirder than the shops. You'd had a couple cups of tea each, shared his packet of chocolate digestive biscuits, which he'd kindly offered to you, chatted a little more and then he'd left. You didn't exchange phone numbers or even offer to see each other again. He didn't because he probably didn't want to and you didn't because you thought he probably wouldn't want to. So you'd gone your separate ways and that was that.
As you got closer to him, you wished you hadn't had so much to drink. You weren't drunk but you weren’t sober either. Kind of just bordering the edges between being buzzed and tipsy.
"Simon."
He turned so his body was facing yours, his large frame consumed the stool he was sitting on. Intimidating and alluring all at once. "Sergeant."
"You really should start calling me by my name." You sighed, stopping to stand in front of him.
"I like calling you sergeant."
"And I liked calling you lieutenant." You shot back, taking a sip of your drink despite your head screaming at you not to.
"Bet you like calling me Simon more."
Your eyes widened at his statement. He wasn't wrong but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that. "Thanks for the drink, by the way."
"It's no problem. Thought I owed you for the bourbon."
You hummed in agreement but said nothing.
"Friends of yours?" He nodded towards your table where all of them were watching the two of you interact intently.
"Uh, yeah. First night out since being home so..." You shrugged.
"Having fun?"
"I was." You regretted your words immediately, knowing that you’d been insensitive.
"Ruined it, did I?" He asked but it wasn't malicious.
"No. Just... unexpected."
He nodded. "So, which one's your boyfriend?"
You were surprised at the question. Last time he'd enquired about your personal life it hadn't gone so well.
"You live alone?"
"Yeah. Used to have a hamster but he died a few months back."
He blinked at you and said nothing so you rushed off to make tea, desperately trying to come up with a new topic to talk about when you got back to him.
"That's presumptuous of you, lieutenant."
"Just making conversation with you, sergeant." The return of dropping rank had you tingling inside. Might have just been the alcohol though.
You huffed. "None of them."
"Girlfriend then?"
You shook your head. "Nope."
"Sorry soul you're torturing with your affection couldn't make it then? What a shame." His eyes narrowed, you presumed he was joking.
"I'll ignore that insult. I'm single." Setting your drink on the surface of the bar, you leant your hip against the side but not before taking a step closer to him.
"Lucky for the world then that you're not burdening anyone with yourself."
"Jesus, Simon." You laughed out of shock, struck with his bluntness.
"Had to be said."
"Huh, you really are a charmer." You flashed him a glimpse of your teeth in a small smile, brows raising on the last word of your sentence.
"I try my best.” Pause. “Why are you single?"
"Because my affection is a burden apparently." Repeating his own words back to him seemed better than explaining your depressing void of no romance in your life because of your job. But maybe he’d understand.
"I'm serious."
"Why do you care?"
Simon didn’t strike you as the kind of person who gave a shit about the love lives of people he worked with. So why did he seem so interested in yours?
He didn't answer straight away and when he did, it seemed rehearsed. "You're my sergeant, part of my team. It's my role to care."
"To make sure I stay alive. Not to inquire about my love life." You were properly frowning at him now.
Ghost raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry I asked."
With a sigh, you relented. "The job."
"Go on…"
"Makes it difficult. The job makes it difficult to date. Especially civilians." You added the last bit on with clenched teeth. It didn’t really matter. Civilians were not on your romantic radar.
"Would you want to date a civilian?"
He saw straight through you.
"No, not really."
"Hmm."
You wanted to avoid discussing the topic any further so asked a question to change the subject. "What're you drinking?"
"Scotch that Soap recommended."
"And?"
He swished the glass around, the ice clinking against the side. "Utter shite."
"Figures." You took a long look at his drink. “You drink it on the rocks.”
“Tastes better cold. Less shit.”
“That your second glass?”
"Monitoring my alcohol intake, sergeant?” He asked and you shook your head as he looked you up and down. “You gonna take a seat or just stand there all day?"
"I'm supposed to be going back to my friends." You gestured weakly over your shoulder with your thumb, kind of forgetting they’d still been there until that moment.
His eyes flickered between the table and you. "Think we both know that isn't happening any time soon."
You hated how he saw straight through you. "Do we?"
"We do. Take a seat, sergeant." He nodded towards the stool next to him.
You stood up straighter, making a point to look directly into his eyes. "I like being eye level with you."
His foot hooked around the back of your legs and tugged you closer to him. "Think you'll find that I've still got a couple inches on you."
Your skin flushed hot, he was so close to you. You reached out and tapped his chest a couple times before realising what you were doing and removed your hand. "Think you'll find that you've had a bit too much to drink, sir."
"Simon. Thought we'd established that you can call me Simon." He leant back a little bit, relaxing in his seat. “And thought we agreed that you weren’t monitoring my alcohol intake.”
"Sorry." You squeaked.
"Sorry who?"
With a smile, you looked up at him through your lashes. You already knew what you were going to say. "Sorry... Lieutenant Riley."
He smiled. Actually smiled. It was small but it was unmistakable. "Brat."
He was beautiful when he smiled. He was always beautiful but when Simon Riley smiled… he was radiant.
You lit up at the smile but glowered at the insult. "Simon!"
"It's true." He shrugged, taking another mouthful of his drink and wincing at the taste.
"I'm stubborn. Not a brat."
"Believe me, I know you're stubborn. You've almost died like twelve times because you're stubborn. Had to save you every time." He shook his head as if it were a grievance to him.
"Could've left me behind."
"Couldn't do that. I'm your lieutenant, remember? My role is to keep you alive."
"I'm sure Price would let it slide if you had good enough reason." You thought about your Captain and wondered if he'd let you die for a good enough cause. Probably. But you held no resentment towards that fact.
Simon's head tilted to the side as he watched you think. "Don't think he'd accept brat as a reason, hm?"
You raised a finger to correct him. "Stubborn. Not a brat."
"Definitely a brat."
"Stop calling me that." You whined.
"That was the brattiest thing you've ever said. In the brattiest voice." He glared down at you. "You whined."
"You're such a dickhead, Simon." You scoffed but it was clear you were holding back a smile.
"And you're a brat. Guess we're even."
"Okay, I'm going back to my friends. To get away from this targeted attack." You paused. "Unless you want to join."
"I'll pass."
"I guessed. Do you have any friends? Maybe you could use the socialisation." You offered, wondering whether the man ever spoke to anyone when he was home or if he completely isolated himself from the rest of the world.
"Don't have friends for a reason."
That answered that for you.
"And what's that?"
"Ask too many personal questions."
He had a valid point. People did ask too many personal questions and you could understand why someone like Simon wouldn't like that.
"They wouldn't. My friends. They know we tend to be... private."
"You're a sergeant and I'm a lieutenant. Neither of us are privates." He paused to let the joke settle in. "A little army humour."
"I got it. That was good." You beamed at him, eyes crinkling in the corners at his quip.
"How much do they know of what we do?" He nodded in the direction of your friends.
You thought it over for a moment. "Very little. They know more about my teammates than anything else. Even that is limited."
He stiffened at that. "What do they know of me?"
"My quiet lieutenant with no face. Until recently." You let your eyes roam his features, taking all of him in. He was remarkable to look at really. But you'd never voice that to him.
"Hmm."
"There's more but I won't divulge with you." It was a partial joke to mess with him a little. There was some truth behind it however. You may or may not have gushed about your lieutenant to your friends. But that was nothing really. Just friendly appreciation for the man who outranked you.
"That makes me nervous."
Playing with him was too easy and too fun. "You should be."
"I'm reconsidering sitting with you and your friends now." He frowned but wasn't completely serious.
That surprised you. "You were going to?"
"Maybe." He drank more of the Scotch and trembled. "Christ, this stuff is fucking disgusting."
"Order a bourbon, something you know you actually like." You sighed. "Please do. If they're too much we can leave."
"We?" He was always questioning we.
You rolled your eyes at him. "It's always we. Teammates, y'know?"
A level of unsureness settled over his face. "I know."
"Get used to a lot of we then."
"Don't plan on seeing you again after this." The admittance stung but you weren't going to let that stop you.
"I'm sure you thought that last time as well. But here we are. Are you stalking me?" There was a hint of genuineness in the question. There was no way this second chance encounter was pure coincidence.
He shook his head, waving the bar tender over and ordering a bourbon like you'd suggested. "You're too boring for that."
"You have such a way with words. Really know how to make a lady feel special." You said dryly.
"It's a gift." He scratched at the side of his nose, absentmindedly trailing a finger over one of his scars in the process.
"They wouldn't say anything, y'know? Or stare. If you're worried about that. I've come home with my fair share of scars over the years. They understand." You pulled the neckline of your shirt to the side to show off an old bullet wound that had scarred over on your collar bone.
Simon's eyes lingered on the mark on your skin but you couldn't quite read his expression. "People always stare."
"I don't."
"No, you don't." He hesitated. "Okay then."
"Wait, really?" You perked up.
"Yes, really. Quickly. Before I change my mind, sergeant." He rose from his seat, grabbing his drink and gesturing for you to go first.
You gazed up at him. It really was easy to forget just how big he was. "Quick question first?"
He didn't seem keen. "Go ahead."
"How long were you here watching me before you sent the drink over?" You really needed to know, to see how out of it you were.
"Not long." Lie.
Your brow furrowed. "How long, Simon?"
"About forty minutes."
Your eyes widened. You didn't expect it to have been that long. "Fort- Jesus. And I didn't notice you?"
He brushed you off with a small shrug. "You were having fun. Guard was down."
"Still."
"Don't dwell on it. I was just going to leave and not let you know I was here." His eyes moved away from you, the opposite side of his eye contact problem showing.
You ducked to the side to meet his gaze again. "Why didn't you?"
He shrugged again.
You offered him a small slip of affection, just the tiniest thing. "I'm glad you didn't."
He grunted in reply, which was more than you were expecting. So, you just gestured for him to follow you towards the table of your friends where you stopped short a couple feet away. You sent a quick glance over your shoulder to make sure that Simon was still, in fact, there and hadn't pulled a Ghost and disappeared. But he was still standing there watching you when you checked. Which meant it was time for introductions... which you sucked at.
"Everybody, this is Simon. My lieutenant. Simon this is... everybody." You frowned at the crowded table in front of you. "You'll pick up names. It's alright that he joins us, yeah?"
“Of course.”
"Yeah."
"Oh, my god, yes."
"Take a seat, mate."
"Where you from, Simon?"
"Manchester."
"Ugh, he's a Manc! Moving on!"
You laughed as you squeezed into the booth with Simon next to you, trying not to touch him too much. "What did I miss? What are we talking about?"
"My husband is cheating on me." One of your friends announced dramatically.
Your eyes widened at the confession. "What? Really?"
"I suspect he is." She pouted, slumping forward onto the table.
"As if. He worships the ground you walk on. As he should. What makes you think he's cheating?" You debated whether this was a good topic to be talking about with your lieutenant sat right there. But then you figured that Simon needed some friends. And what was a better way to make friends than through some old-fashioned gossip?
"Late nights as work. Going to the gym a lot. He's not getting any fitter either."
You winced. "Ah, well that is quite damning."
"Yeah. I'm trying to build up the courage to just ask him about it."
"Yeah, confront him. If he's cheating then come to me. I know how to use a gun and hide a body." You winked at her.
"Sergeant." Simon's warning tone came from beside you.
"I'm kidding, lieutenant." You looked to your friend again and mouthed. "I'm not."
Another one of your friends spoke up, leaning on the table on his elbows. "God, you guys are so formal. Even during leave."
"We don't have to be. He refuses to call me anything other than sergeant. I think it's because he secretly doesn't know my name." You nudged Simon with your elbow and then, realising what you'd done, pulled back quickly. Maybe taking a break from the drink would be a good idea for a while.
"Not true." Ghost shook his head slowly.
"So you claim. Yet you've yet to refer to me as anything other than sergeant."
"It's fun watching you squirm thinking you have to be on your best behaviour all the time." He sent you a sly smirk, his eyes squinting just the tiniest bit.
Your jaw dropped. "I'm asking Price to reassign me. This is bullying."
"Wouldn't let Price do it." He countered, leaning in dangerously close.
"Who's Price?"
The both of you pulled back at the question and answered simultaneously. "Captain."
"Ah, okay. The one with the mutton chops, right?" One friend offered.
You nodded. "Right."
Simon huffed. "That's what you told them about Price?"
"It's his best feature."
"Christ, woman." He groaned, rubbing a hand across his face.
"Ooh, woman's a new one."
A friend volunteered in your defence. "To be fair, she's not allowed to tell us much. She usually gives us one identifying feature of every person she tells us about. So we can keep up."
"I'm assuming Soap is the fact that he's Scottish."
"Scottish with Mohawk. He gets two."
"What's Gaz?"
"Baby of the team."
"Fitting. Me?"
You stayed silent.
"What is it?"
You shook your head. "Can't say. Classified."
"Sergeant." His voice was harsh, demanding.
But you weren’t going to give in. "Lieutenant."
"I won't be insulted." His voice dropped to its familiar bored tone, as if trying to force the idea that it wouldn’t bother him.
That’s not what concerned you however. "Don't think you would be."
"Then why can't you tell me?”
"Just can't." Stellar reasoning, well done.
"I could ask them." He tilted his head in the direction of your friends, who were all watching you completely enraptured.
You didn’t back down, stare hardening at him. "Go ahead."
"Fine." He turned to the table. "What's my identifying feature?"
There was a moment of silence before someone gave in and admitted it. Traitors. "You don't have one."
There was a split second of delay before he replied. "She doesn't talk about me then?"
"Quite the opposite actually." One of your friends giggled.
Another stepped in. "Talks about you sooo much that you don't need an identifying feature. Just know who her lieutenant is."
"Besides, apparently you usually wear a mask. You have no features."
A raised finger of a counterpoint. "Arguably, the mask is the feature."
Ghost turned to you, almost smug. "You talk about me, sergeant?"
"Don't flatter yourself, Simon. You're good at what you do. I can appreciate that." You sniffed, rolling your shoulders back to force yourself to relax.
"Out loud? With your friends?"
You shot him an irritated look. "Get over yourself."
"Didn't say anything."
You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "I know what you're thinking."
"I'm sure you do." He exhaled deeply, glancing away from you towards his drink.
Your own gaze moved back towards everyone else around the table. "Moving on! What else is happening with you guys?"
"Saw your parents a couple days ago. They said they didn't know you were home."
Well, that wasn’t the jollier topic you hoped to move on to.
A fake smile automatically set itself on your face at the mention of your family. "Fuck. What did you say?"
"Lied for you and said you only just got back. Might want to call them."
"I will do that. At some point.” Lie, lie, lie.
"Mhm, your sister had another baby as well. That's what? The fourth niece or nephew you haven't met?" There was a note of condescension in your friend’s voice.
You shrugged, knowing you had a decent enough reason. If your job counted as decent. "I've been busy. And it's only the second."
"We're not judging. Your parents might be though."
"Well, that's lovely to know." You slouched down in your seat. The relationship with your parents was… touchy, to say the least. Desperately seeking their approval for years had left the bond with them strained. And you being away from home so often definitely hadn’t helped the rockiness of it all.
"Also they seem convinced that you've met a military man and are going to come home engaged or married..."
Your face scrunched in disgust. "Oh, ew. What the fuck?"
Simon elbowed you harshly in the ribs. "We're not that bad."
"Share a bunk with Soap and come back to me on that." You snapped back. Your fellow sergeant was a snorer who regularly farted in his sleep. He was like your brother but man did you hate having to sleep in close proximity to him.
"Fair point.” He grumbled back to you. “But why are they under that impression?"
"They know I don't date civilians."
"Or anyone." One of your friends mumbled in her drink.
"Thank you.” You sent her a sarcastic smile. “So they think I'm after a man in uniform."
"Aren't you?" The same friend asked.
You closed your eyes and clenched your jaw. "In... theory."
"Not in practice though." She carried on, loving the way you were squirming.
"We know not in practice, okay? Doesn't need to be said aloud.” You spared a glance at the man beside you before adding a harsh whisper. “Especially in front of my lieutenant."
"I'm sure Simon is loving this."
"It comes with the job. Family troubles and no love life." He offered some of your words back to you from earlier, shrugging. You were glad of the support from him, even if it was only your own thoughts.
"You got any friends for her Simon? Anyone on the team you think she'd be good with?"
He shook his head. "Nah, not good enough for her."
Wait, what? Not good enough? For you? Since when did he have such a high opinion of you?
A friend of yours cooed. "That's sweet. If it helps, she's great in the sack."
You choked on the mouthful of drink you were taking, slamming your glass back down. "And how exactly would you know that?!"
"I shared a house with you in uni, babes. I remember all those guys coming out of your room with dazed smiles looking as if they'd just had the time of their life." She grinned at you slyly.
Eyes wide. Jaw dropped. Heart racing. "Oh, my god. Please shut up."
"You asked."
"I didn't need such a detailed answer!” You were ignored.
"Although you may be quite rusty at the moment. It's been a while, hasn't it?"
You covered your face with your hands. "For the love of everything that is good in this world, please be quiet."
"I'm just saying. We're all friends here, aren't we?" She laughed, mainly gesturing towards your higher up.
"He's my lieutenant!"
"Wait, Simon, are you single?"
You cut in before it could go any further. "Nope! Okay! So... sister? Baby. Parents? Delusional. What else?"
Everyone around the table chuckled at your reaction but moved on anyway, much to your relief.
"They're hoping you’re home for Christmas this year."
Your hand tightened around your drink. "I hope I'm not."
"Thought you'd say that."
Paying little attention to what your friend actually said, you mumbled to yourself. "That's fucking ridiculous of them. What the actual fuck?"
"We said the same." Mumbled loud enough for them to overhear apparently.
Simon looked confused. "What's the issue there?"
You failed to answer so someone else did for you. "They uninvited her to Christmas three years ago. Hasn't been back since."
"Why would they do that?"
"Didn't approve of her lifestyle."
He turned to you. "Your... lifestyle?"
"Murderer daughter." You bit back, bitterly.
His body tightened with tension. "You're not a murderer."
"Tell them that." You snorted. "Why do they want me home now?"
"Beats us.” Your friends said in weird unison.
"Wish they'd make their mind up over whether they want to disown me or not. It's exhausting trying to keep up."
The table laughed at that. Simon did not. But did he laugh at anything?
“I’m gonna get another drink. Want one?” He looked down at you, pointing vaguely at your almost empty glass.
“Uhh… sure. Thanks.” You smiled at him, which he obviously didn’t return. After briefly asking everyone else if they wanted anything, which they declined, he stalked off in the direction of the bar.
Once he was a few paces away, one of your friends practically launched herself halfway across the table and lowered her voice to a hushed whisper. "He's gorgeous, babes."
You decided to play coy. "You think?"
"You don't?" Her brow was raised in disbelieving accusation.
The coy act was dropped pretty quickly. "Oh, I know he is. Just didn't think you would."
"Well, I do. And he’s definitely your type, absolutely perfect for you. Plus he so likes you."
You scoffed. "No, he doesn't."
"He fancies the pants off of you!" She insisted.
You didn’t buy it. "I can guarantee that he does not."
"He can't take his eyes off you!"
"He has a staring problem." You shrugged, it was true.
"Yeah, the problem is that he can't stop staring at you."
You thought about it. Yeah, he stared at you a lot. But he stared at everything. Didn't mean he stared at you with... feelings or whatever your friends were implying. Just that he had a staring problem.
"Lieutenant Simon Riley does not like me." It was a finalised statement, one that you believed wholeheartedly.
"Open your eyes, babes. He likes you."
"Do you like him?"
Avoid answering. "Not allowed to like him. He's my lieutenant."
"That doesn't answer our question."
Shit.
"Maybe a little." You pinched your fingers together, there was no point lying to them, and shook your head. "Doesn't matter anyway."
"Why?"
"Because, say he did like me, he'd never admit it. And I'm not going to push him into anything. I'm just glad he's talking to me and accepting my attempt at us being friends." That was true. You were loving how he wasn’t completely rejecting your friendship. He maybe wasn’t embracing it but he wasn’t pushing you away either.
"That's so sad, babes."
"Cheers.” You deadpanned. “It can't happen anyway."
"Why not?"
"Relationships aren't allowed. Makes us a liability. My captain would reassign one of us as soon as he caught wind of it. And it would be me." The thought of Price reassigning you was horrid. You loved your team more than anything.
"Simon said he wouldn't let your captain reassign you."
That was true, he did. "He was joking... I think."
"I don't think he was. That man stares at you like he's ready to eat you. It's like listening to Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen in real life!"
Groan. "You watched Dirty Dancing again, didn't you?"
"Yes, but that's not the point. The point is that Simon looks at you with hungry eyes. And don't judge my love for Dirty Dancing." Two of your friends nodded in agreement with her.
"I'm not. I'm judging your favourite song choice when Love Is Strange by Mickey and Sylvia is clearly the superior song on the soundtrack." You said as you downed the last bit of your drink, thankful Simon was bringing you another one. Your mouth was dry and the initial buzz was wearing off. You’d need more alcohol if this interrogation was going to continue despite it probably not being the best idea.
"Blasphemy!” She declared before quietening herself. “Oop, we gotta be quiet now because he's coming back over. Simon!"
He froze in his tracks, a glass clasped in each large hand. "Yes?"
"Can you settle a debate for us?"
You froze too, wide-eyed. They weren't going to ask about him staring at you, were they?
"Sure...?"
You smiled at his unsure tone. Big, scary man who got shot at for a living was terrified of answering a little question.
"You've seen Dirty Dancing, yeah?"
You relaxed.
"I have."
Surprising.
"Which is a better song? Hungry Eyes or Love Is Strange?"
"Oh, I... uh-"
"Leave the poor man alone." You laughed despite being a little curious about his music taste.
"I always liked She's Like the Wind."
That shocked you to your core. "Patrick Swayze fan?"
"Used to have a mullet just like his." He placed your drink in front of you. "Here you go. You look surprised."
"I always am when you don't disappear. And when you admit to being a Patrick Swayze fan." You snorted, taking the drink from him.
"Learn to have a little faith, Sarge." He sighed as he sat down next to you again, an inch closer than before you were sure.
A burning feeling settled in your chest at the nickname. Sure, it was only a shortened version of your rank, and a common one at that, but it was something. Not sergeant. Not woman. Sarge. You decided to let it slide to see if he’d ever do it again of his own accord.
"Your name's Ghost for a reason." You sing-songed, the image of his mask flashing through your mind.
"I'll give you that. But remember, Simon here."
"Still weird."
"Still Simon."
You chewed the inside of your bottom lip before asking your next question. "Patrick Swayze?"
"He was blond."
"Like you, you mean?"
Hesitation. "Yeah."
You hummed and thought about him with a mullet. What an odd thing to admit to you. But you’d never complain. If Simon was willing to offer you little tidbits of silly information about himself, then you were going to absorb every single one and treasure them forever.
A/N: Simon with a mullet as a teen because he wanted to be Patrick Swayze when he grew up is canon to me now.
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost riley x reader#ghost riley x you#ghost x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost#simon ghost riley fanfiction#ghost riley#ghost riley fanfiction#simon riley fanfiction#call of duty#modern warfare#modern warfare 2#ej’s fics#ej’s writing
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[ DISCUSSION ] for our muses to talk about kinks and figure out their boundaries together with Jake and Shy! Wife, please, they are my favorites
Let's Talk About Sex - Jake Seresin x Shy!Wifey HC
warnings: sex, daddy kink, small lactation kink, size kink, virginity, brief mentions of threesomes, voyuerism, watching porn, mentions of sexuality, mutual masturbation, sex in public places, mentions of body hair, quickies, cum kink
note: I know you probably wanted a fic out of this, but the best I could give ya was a headcannon without it being 97000 pages long. I hope you enjoy!:) also I would love to dive more into Shy!Wifey's sexuality and how she navigates it with Jake. So don't be afraid to ask about that!
g's slumber party || opposites attract masterlist
Jake hated the saying "it's always the quiet ones," but in his experience. . . it usually was the quiet ones
When Y/N had met Jake, yes, she was a virgin. It wasn't that she was holding out for her wedding night to swipe her v-card. Sure, she was religious but she wasn't religious in the sense of "Sex before marriage is a sin."
For her, she just never felt comfortable going there or even thinking about going there with the guys she dated before Jake. Actually, for a while, she thought there was something wrong with her. She never got those warm feelings or that "rush of heat" to her core like the books said. Until she met Jake.
It still took Y/N some time to get totally comfortable with Jake. Their wedding night wasn't one straight from the romcoms and fairytales. It was a night of going slow, figuring out what she liked and what felt right. Y/N tried to fight through the pain she was in cause she wanted Jake to have a good time, but he could see her wincing. The night eventually came to a standstill with Jake refusing to go on because Y/N was near tears from the pain.
It also didn't help that Y/N was so in her head about how she looked. Should she have worn something sexier for him? Was her double chin showing? Should she have shaved or gotten waxed? Did Jake mind body hair or was this repulsing him?
The next morning, Jake sat her down and asked her "What do you like in bed?" All Y/N could do was shrug, meekly telling him "I don't know."
So, Jake suggested watching porn. He found a couple of amateur videos that he thought Y/N would like, and they watched them together. Y/N looked at them as though they were sex education videos while Jake was fighting off a stiffy the whole time.
"This? Gets your rocks off?" Y/N asked, looking at him. Jake couldn't help the boyish grin on his face, "Well. . . yeah. What about you? What do you like?" She took his phone from him, searching through the porn site until she found a video she liked. Jake was surprised to see it was two females, half naked and covered in oil.
Their second attempt at having sex together went better than the first. They had been doing some stuff together, mutual masturbation, oral sex, dirty text messages throughout the day, even the simple act of laying next to each other naked, getting comfortable with one another, all seemed to help. Their second attempt went much better than the first.
Ever so slowly, they started experimenting more and more. It started with doing more positions in bed, Y/N wanting to be on top to watch Jake's face as he came. Or her asking him to pull her hair. Or flipping herself over onto her stomach.
The first time "Daddy" slipped out of her lips, they both paused, both equally frightened and turned on. Jake felt his heart in his chest as he was trying to figure out what to do, but it was as if Y/N could read his mind, "Do that again, daddy, please." And who was Jake to deny her???
As if Jake couldn't get anymore possessive over Y/N. It was bad enough that she had his wedding ring on her finger, his last name as her own and the tattoo of his callsign on her ass. . . Jake also had to make sure she was stuffed full of him. He didn't know he could love the sight of her swollen cunt, dripping with cum.
"You like watching it, don't you?" Y/N asked, breathlessly as Jake's green eyes were looking between her legs. He smirked, leaning down and licking her, "Of course I do. . . Cause one of these days. . . I'm gonna get you so full of me, it'll knock you up."
Then, enter Baby Seresin number one, and their sex life totally changes. Not only does Jake develop a breeding kink seeing his wife grow and swell with his child, but his sex drive and Y/N's sex drive is through the roof. Quickies, anywhere and everywhere.
"Do you know how much trouble well get in if Penny finds us?" Y/N pants against his lips one night at the hard deck, "She'll forgive us once we tell her she is an honorary grandmother," Jake tugs down the top of her sundress, her swollen breasts popping out, "Fuck. . . look at you. Getting all ready to have my child. To be able to feed them. . . I love you like this," Y/N quickly slaps her hand over her mouth as Jake's tongue swirls her nipple before pulling it into his mouth.
#top gun headcannon#top gun maverick headcannon#Jake seresin#Jake seresin headcannon#Jake sersein x reader#Jake seresin fan fic#Jake seresin imagine#Jake seresin x reader#Jake seresin x oc#Jake seresin x Shy!Wifey#Jake hangman seresin#hangman seresin#hangman fan fic#hangman fan fiction#hangman imagine#hangman headcannon#hangman x reader#hangman x oc#top gun fan fic#top gun fan fiction#top gun imagine#top gun maverick fan fic#top gun maverick fan fiction#top gun maverick imagine
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can i ask for qsmp reacting to new member reader who is russian??
yes of course!! I love this request sm, hopefully I got everyone you're looking for! sorry if these are a little ooc, I'm learning a lot and watching a lot about the qsmp still so hopefully this is good lol. kind of a mix of q! selves and cc! selves so 💀
QSMP ; meeting a russian creator
includes ; tubbo, quackity, cellbit, jaiden, roier, wilbur, foolish, slimecicle, tina, and nihachu
warnings ; language, probably ooc 💀💀
masterlist
TUBBO
"oh, hi! are you the new member???"
he's really nice, helps you build a house and stuff to get started and whatnot
you, him & sunny spend a lot of time together, especially because quackity gave you your own child too
sunny & your egg absolutely love each other, and perfectly balance one another out
tubbo teaches you all about his machines and factories and whatnot
welcomes you with open arms to the town of fobo
talks to you about the federation and whatnot, how they're basically the government and to just avoid them at all costs
even with a language barrier (if you don't speak English as well) you guys are so tight
always fucking around together somehow
he adds you into his lore as well
QUACKITY
welcomes you with kindness and open arms
introduces you to your own egg 😭🫶
he's got a lot of energy and is very chaotic, literally sprints around the whole smp showing you everything and catching you up into lore stuff
if he fucks up a first impression, he repeatedly tries to make it up and corrects himself and whatnot
doing dumb shit with him and richarlyson is a must
you guys become really good friends and make some great lore ideas together
if you speak a little/lot of English, you guys will just have chitter-chatter streams together and build a little tree house for the eggs
CELLBIT
"hello!!"
you teach him a little Russian and he teaches you a little French
even if you have a language barrier he's really nice to you
very selfless, if you need something, hes got you
if you get kidnapped, good lord is he holding a grudge
has a protective type of personality, makes sure to keep you and your egg safe if you two come across some federation funny business together
starts to learn Russian because he thinks it's a cool language
surprises you one day with a phrase in Russian and you're just like "???? hello cellbit?"
"was that a good pronunciation? I'm still learning"
puzzles >>>>
used to be a rlly good pvper so he teaches you some outdated tricks lol
JAIDEN
"Oh my God, hi!!"
teaches you all about how the smp works and tells you all about her adventures
also takes you on adventures with her when you stream together
through the language barrier, you still get along really well and enjoy each other's humor and company
building together >>>
such great inputs from each side
in lore, she's kind of just off to herself, and alone
she can't really trust other people whatsoever now
but when you come around, she's a bit more open but obviously wants to be left alone
teaches you all about her pets
she rubbed off her love for vocaloid on you
ROIER
welcomes you with a smile
teaches you all about lore and whatnot
mentions his and cellbits wedding at least 3 times
gives you a little referral to therapy
he's currently a rat in lore so uh
he kinda just uses you as a pedestal for now
"y/n, tell them that im the superior rat, please"
you repeat the phrase in russian to any other russian creators you joined the server with
becomes a co-parent to your egg
very level-headed, somehow always has a plan
"Oh, yeah, the federation kidnaps people, just stay away from them"
"Dude what"
everyday is his birthday
you play into the bit by singing happy birthday in russian and giving him some sort of food
WILBUR SOOT
very formal first impression
introduces you to tallulah
tallulah is kinda iffy about you and your egg at first but she warms up to you guys
if you're the building type, he'll do the dirty work to get you the stuff you need to make a house, or anything you wanna build
on top of learning french, dutch, and spanish, you get him invested in russian as well
in lore, he believes that most problems can be solved by love, and you just kinda go with it because he's nice enough and whatnot
teaches you some stuff about music
you guys do a lot of yap streams while grinding up some resources on the island to make some new locations and whatnot
"the pattern you're doing looks like upside down dicks"
"wh- wilbur, why would you say that?"
if you're still learning English, and it's kinda broken when you speak or you say something wrong, he kindly corrects you and teaches you correct pronunciations
becomes a co-parent to your egg as well
you teach the eggs the "scary fight like a badass" stuff and he's the "be nice, children" parent
FOOLISH GAMERS
you're immediately introduced to his laugh
kind of reckless, but pretty laid back
pretty playful as well, likes to joke around with you
he doesn't have a reason to not trust you yk
you're very overprotective of your egg and anxious that you'll let something bad happen, but if he becomes a co-parent, he releases your egg from the little plastic box you have them in when you aren't around
does the whole Batman bit with you on your first stream on the qsmp
holy shit the amount of laughter
he wants to leave a good impression on you, thinks you're really cool lol
you've mutually decided that he builds exteriors, you design interiors
SLIMECICLE
probably wasn't even aware new people were joining
"who the hell is that???"
like you're trying to let quackity teach you the basics and he's staring from a distance like he's gonna plot to kill you
tries to joke around and say hello in russian but ends up saying some random phrase that didn't make sense
"You just said your toes taste like cheese"
"Wait, what?"
makes you a bitch wife/husband asap
makes you curse people out in russian when he gets slightly offended
definition of the uwu cat boy and tall angry bully gay stereotype
in lore he's got some serious psychological problems but it's okay!! you can deal with it
quackity tells you about the whole gegg think and you sit there like "okay wtf"
TINA KITTEN
you guys just kinda run into each other one day and you ask her for help on something
something clicked man, yall are such an iconic duo
you guys build a whole mansion near the sea together for the eggs
in lore, she's pretty reserved and isolates herself, and you become one of the many tk worry about her and try and give her advice
secrets are safe with her 💳💥💥💥
you guys own a little farm together too
Em and your egg get along so well
she has a little proud mom moment
tetris competitions.
she likes to draw and she loves drawing you and your egg together it's so cute
NIKI NIHACHU
she's kind of shy but your personalities balance each other out
she's sworn to protect everyone, and you and your egg are quickly added to that list
baking with her>>
you work with her at empanadas bakery
she talks to you all about psychology and how it fascinates her and stuff
you learn a lot from her
lots of compliments whether it be builds or even outfits you're showing off to you're stream
she easily becomes a co-parent of your egg lol
#lowkeyrobin#mcyt preferences#mcyt x reader#wilbur soot x reader#mcyt oneshot#quackity x reader#nihachu x reader#tubbo x reader#qsmp#qsmp x reader#qsmp tubbo#qsmp cellbit#qsmp roier#qsmp jaiden#qsmp tina#qsmp niki
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Since you guys have been digging poly yandere LuciLili do yall wanna hear one of my more fucked up ideas
I keep thinking about scenarios where Lilith is emotionally intelligent enough to kinda, get a read on who you are pretty quickly and, maybe you even help out by being a bit too honest about yourself, and she falls in love with you first and decides almost on his behalf that you would be perfect for Lucifer as well. Like I'm talking this man may know barely more about you than your name but Lilith sees certain similarities or contrasts between you that she's like, INSANELY POSITIVE you two would be perfect together, and she may be totally right, but the ethically dubious part is when Lucifer isssssss not quite as fast to warm up to you and Lilith tries to... expedite that process
I've thought of, the idea i mentioned before with you being pulled into a kind of dream dimension where you're bonding with them in a pseudo-Eden, that maybe Lilith "invites you" into their dream without telling or asking Lucifer first, and then it's in Eden where he falls in love with you, since, you're acting more like your actual true self since you think it's a dream with no consequences. In the waking world, you're nervous, barely making eye contact, maybe even a little scared of him, but in Eden, it's "do you two have nicknames for each other? Like do you ever call each other things like, maybe Lucifer is Lulu or Luci or Ducky and Lilith would be Lili or-- also when you two first met, Lucifer, were you ALSO completely naked or did you accidentally teach her what clothes were and made her self conscious? Since Lilith was naked when you met her, was it hard not to stare at her p--" like, you have so many interests and all this curiosity and they both think it's so cute and once you start talking, you speak in paragraphs not sentences and they just pofe watching you get excited and interested about things
but picture it gets to the point where here's Lucifer, "ok Lili OK I like her alright?! But it's- she's not really ready for a relationship let alone a BABY right now" and Lilith is just pouting and crossing her arms and BANISHES HIM TO THE COUCH. IM SERIOUS. Kicks him out of his own fucking bed and tells him he should be in yours instead. "Well just MAYBE she would be ready for a relationship if she had someone to show her she was safe and cared for LUCIFER >:( don't pretend you haven't been wanting another child LUCIFER >:( don't make me get her pregnant myself LUCIFER >:(" and also she very very well COULD do that so it IS a credible threat
Like Charlie is getting so fucking worried her parents are bickering all the time and she's worried they're gonna get divorced and it's just like, THEM ARGUING OVER GETTING YOU PREGNANT OR NOT. Lilith is over here privately having conversations with you where you're breaking down about dying before you could get a partner and get married and have a wedding and have a baby and she's running back to Lucifer, "cmon Lulu... don't you want to know what your baby would look like? She's just so SAD, Lulu, she wants her baby and her family SoooOoooo badly. You mean you don't want Charlie to have another sibling? You dont want a little baby to put in a little duckie onesie?"
I just. Picture. Lilith inviting you and Lucifer to drink with her and she just. Drugs you both, completely unapologetically slips you both aphrodisiacs. Gets you Hella Hella Drunk and, at some point later in the night, Lucifer thinks he's having sex with his wife, but uh, not wife number 1, that's for sure. He doesn't snap out of it until either the next morning or when he's already, you know, finishing, and you're just slurring and clinging to him like a teddy bear and honestly probably already pregnant
LATER ON DOWN THE LINE AFTER YOU'VE HAD YOUR BABY, you break down crying to Lucifer, "I want to tell you something but I'm worried you'll be mad but I- I don't want my baby to grow up with a lie and get hurt in the future, and, and you're a really good person and a good husband and a good dad and I hate lying to you" AND YOU REVEAL YOU WERE IN ON THE DRUGGING THING THE WHOLE TIME. LILITH APPROACHED YOU AND TALKED YOU INTO IT. But Lucifer still doesn't blame you because you're absolutely perfect in his eyes and, now you two have a beautiful little baby and you're both so so happy together, and here's Lucifer, "hey honey? I'm gonna go talk to Lili for a lil while, ok? Be back later ^^"
Skip to like a month later, here's Lucifer looking quite smug, "big news everyone! Lilith is pregnant! We've got another Morningstar on the way!" and here's Lilith ALSO looking quite smug cause, awwww that's so cute, he thinks he got back at her, but really, she got everything she wanted in the end. Lucifer just puffing out his chest because he's got a new baby and another on the way and Lilith just smirking coyly as she continues to knit little baby socks. If they'll go to your baby or hers or, maybe another future baby of yours, now, who can really say? Honestly the happiest Morningstar is Charlie because now she has her dad, her mom, and her other new mom, and now her new siblings too! And if anything bad ever happened to you or your baby the entirety of the Hotel will go to war for you with unspeakable unspeakable violence :)
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(Doom x reader/mitsuri) 🙏
Can you do it? Please
Mitsuri!reader (wrote with feminins pronouns in mind)
Words: idk 😔
Genre: Fluff (angst at the end)
Tw: just mashle usual type of violence and mention of death, spoilers for KNY
Tag: @futuristiclanddinosaur
Synopsis: Misuri!Reader as Doom's lover
Author's note: I have only watched the first 2 or 3 episodes of KNY... So idk if this is good or bad 😔 I had to do a quick research on more of Mitsuri's character so I could write this better. Sorry for any mistakes and hope you enjoy! More under cut
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♪ | You probably knew each other from the time you got lost in the woods around his house when you both were younger.
♪ | He was surprised that someone as shy and timid as you entered the woods.
♪ | He talked to you a bit and then walked you to the main exit.
♪ | You apologized profoundly about wasting his time and that you would come to see him again with something to thank him for his favor.
♪ | He wasn't all that eager for that and probably thought that you were joking or not being serious, but he also didn't stop you.
♪ | Guy was so stunned when he heard from you again. And you brought him some homemade food (for the sake of the plot let's say you did pancakes) and a self made necklace.
♪ | You were already surprised when he didn't comment on your pink and green hair (you didn't know that he was just blind), but you were even more surprised when he accepted your gift. Although, somehow hesitant, but he accepted them nonetheless.
♪ | After that, you would just go out to those woods to hang out with him. It really didn't bother him much when you came to hang out and he was still training with his sword.
♪ | You actually were exited to see him practice and cheered him for being strong, mentioning that you also have strong physical abilities and that your wand is in your sword too.
♪ | He was intrigued and said that if you wanted to, you could train together some time. Man wanted to see how strong you were
♪ | He was definitely surprised when you could keep up with him. But it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.
♪ | After that you guys just hanged out a lot, telling stories, training, etc.
♪ | He slowly, but surely, was getting a little big crush on you.
♪ | He loved every aspect of you; your caring and loving attitude towards your friends and family, your dedication to protect others, your fighting techniques, everything.
♪ | Your voice soothed his worries like nothing else.
♪ | Man was so grateful for you, he appreciated that you still were friends with him even after learning who his father is, how much people he had to kill, etc. He was surprised that when you learned that he was blind since birth, instead of being uncomfortable about it, you were even more amazed of his skills.
♪ | Imagine his shock when he learns that you were supposed to be wed with a man you barely knew.
♪ | He was more angry about the fact that the guy always critiqued you, the said guy seemed to have problem with everything you did and had: your hair, the fact that you train (in the guy's words, "that wasn't feminine), your strength, your personality, etc
♪ | He already was pissed enough at your parents for being shitty af, but now they not just allowed, but encouraged their own daughter getting married to a man who does nothing more but critique her? He was ready to add names on the list of people he killed.
♪ | He doesn't do it just because you said there was no need.
♪ | He might never have seen your hair, but he would stand on that it was pretty nonetheless, just like the rest of you.
♪ | He was surprised that one day, when you came to hang out as usual, you were crying. He didn't know how to console you, so he just patted your back and then rubbed circles on it with his hand.
♪ | That was enough to easy your feelings a little bit and eventually you calmed down and told him everything
♪ | You told him that the guy started critiquing you again as always, and at this point you couldn't handle it no more. You were very upset, but didn't want to do anything too dramatic, so you just took the papers that confirmed that you were engaged to him and destroyed them in his face. Then you just walked out the house.
♪ | Doom acted calm about it, but still let you express your feelings freely.
♪ | He knew it wouldn't be the best idea to let you in his house with his crazy siblings and his father, but he also couldn't leave you outside.
♪ | That was when you officially net his family. As a friend thought. Which wasn't Doom's favorite thing, but it wasn't the time to get upset about something like that. And Doom is a patient man, he can wait.
♪ | It probably was chaotic but most didn't pay a mind. Maybe Famine or Delisaster teased Doom, but mostly they didn't care. Innocent zero did say something along the lines of "Don't be carried away from your missions" or "Don't let the girl get to your head, you're just going to delude yourself and the girl". But if it didn't interfere with his plans he wouldn't give a damn. Maybe he'll use you to his advantage thought.
♪ | After some time, you were used to living there and opened up more. Doom was happy to know that you're living better than before, even though you now count as a criminal.
♪ | At some point you just left your hair have it's natural colour and started wearing clothes that you liked and not the ones your family deemed "more important".
♪ | I feel like, when Doom would realize about his feelings he wouldn't know what to do, but would be chill about it
♪ | Mostly, just because he knows that if he let's it shown you'll be in even more da ger than you already are
♪ | And also because he knows that neither Delisaster nor Famine will let him live it down.
♪ | Domina might start to see you as his older sister ngl.
♪ | I think Doom wouldn't be very touchy, but he still would like to have some physical contact. Might pat your head, or put his hand on your lower back, something like that.
♪ | Might at some confess to you, but I think that he won't. Just to keep you safer, I guess.
♪ | If he does confess and you accept him, he'll be very happy and will show it through a small smile.
♪ | Likes to play with your hair. It's so soothing to the touch and long. He likes to run his hand through it (and if he can't, he likes to twirl it or braid it).
♪ | If he confesses, it means that he is certain that no matter what happens, he won't let you die. Even if he has to give his live in exchange and even if it runs against his father's plans. He has respect for his father, but you were the first person to be there for him at all times, through everything, no matter what piece of new information about him you learned.
♪ | Now, if he doesn't confess
♪ | Oh boy
♪ | Regrets not telling you about his feelings when you die on the Eclipse Day.
♪ | You were fighting against an opponent who had an ability that contra attacked yours very good. And while you did defeat that person, you were left with serious injuries that lead to your death. Your two of three braids were cut shoulder length, one of your arms cut off and your leg injured.
♪ | He held you in his arms as you passed away. He didn't want to believe it, but he knew that you didn't have much time. You, too, knew it.
♪ | As your time alive grew shorter, you felt more easy, knowing that you'll die I his arms and not in the arms of the cold wind.
♪ | For the last time, you decided to chat with him. You made sure he promised that whatever he wanted to do next, he had to finish it in time.
♪ | Feeling brave in your last moments, you asked a question that was based off your assumptions.
You cough blood while trying the bravery and the words in you. Doom's big and warm hands held you bridal style as he was standing near the place where you fought the enemy. It felt comfortable, to know you'll pass away in this away: in the hands of the one you love the most, the one who helped you a lot and the one you wanted to see again. Suddenly, Doom felt your hand, that wasn't cut off, cup his cheek gently and weakly, as you had almost no energy already.
- "If we're going to be reborn..." - you started, coughing out a little bit more of blood. - "... Let me be your bride, okay?" - Doom felt his heart sink at your question. How could this feel so beautiful yet tragic? He didn't know, he didn't need to know. Because all he needed is a little more time with you.
- "If you let me have you, I'll find you and marry you in every one of the timelines. No matter how much time it will take me to find you, or how bloodied will be your or my hands, if you just let me be with you... I promise to put a ring around your finger." - Your heart flutters hearing his determined tone. You smile and let a loving sigh leave you mouth as you feel weaker. Doom notices that and his grip on your waist and lege tightens slightly. He doesn't want you to disappear now, and neither do you, but you're both aware that this is your last minute. Your hand let goes of Doom's cheek and slowly fall to your side as you pass away. Doom's heart sinked completely.
♪ | Don't worry, you're later revived with Innocent zero's spell after he got defeated by Mash.
♪ | As you met with Doom again, you couldn't handle the level of your happiness and just started crying while hugging Doom. Doom hugged you back.
♪ | Anyway, happy days in the prison lol <3 Idk how long his sentence is, but if you guys leave the prison after all, he'll be more than happy to spend the rest of your lives together <3
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This is my take on writing Mitsuri!Fem!reader, sorry if it isn't accurate enough 😭 anyway, I hope you enjoyed and bye bye xoxo
#anime#mashle#anime x reader#mashle x reader#Doom#doom mashle#innocent zero#manga#manga x reader#mashle magic and muscles#x reader#doom x reader#Doom x reader
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tell me all the things that i wanna hear [9-1-1 | Buck/Tommy; Buck/Eddie | 1/1]
1.3k words | feelings realization | episode tag
about a week ago i wrote this post about an eddie feelings realization at the bachelor party, so naturally after last night's episode i had to write the fic.
tell me all the things that i wanna hear [on AO3]
-
He doesn't remember it right away.
Which is… not surprising, probably. The bachelor party that wasn't marks the drunkest he's been since before Chris was born, possibly the drunkest he's ever been in his life. He wakes up in a bathtub shirtless and so hungover that he wants to die, and then they discover that Chimney is missing, and it's a long, stressful, terrifying fucking day that keeps Eddie way too busy to focus on any of the garbled flashes of memory from last night. Busting down a hotel door and shouting off-key karaoke at Buck and tilting sloppily together while they poured each other shots—stupid party shit that he's honestly too old for. They're definitely going to owe the hotel damage fees out the ass.
But in the end, Chim is okay. Or, if not okay, at least safely ensconced in a hospital bed. Eddie leaves to pick Chris up from Pepa's and he's still there, shooting the shit with his abuela and slowly sipping his fourth Gatorade of the day in the hopes that it'll settle his stomach enough for him to eat dinner, when he gets the text from Buck that the wedding is still on and he needs to get his ass back to the hospital. So he packs Chris in the car, and doesn't fight it when his abuela also insists on coming—Pepa waves them off with an indulgent smile—and doesn't allow himself to be relieved that the short notice means he has an excuse not to mention it to Marisol.
It's a beautiful wedding, in the end. Perfectly imperfect, in the way all the best things in life are. Eddie gets a little teary-eyed when Chim and Maddie slip the rings onto each other's fingers, and he claps with all the rest, and he just happens to glance up in time to see a flash of blue as Buck slips out the door.
For a moment, he considers following, but Karen nearly trips bringing the cake in, so Eddie jumps in to catch her before tonight can turn into any more of a catastrophe than it already is. From there, there's the usual party bustle of divvying up cake and passing out paper plates, and he forgets about Buck for a little while, at least until he tugs Tommy through the door, the both of them beaming like fools and covered in soot in a way that makes it very fucking obvious what Buck just spent the last twenty minutes doing with his mouth.
Eddie doesn't remember it then, either. He snickers while he watches the rest of the room catch on, while Buck introduces Tommy around to the people who don't already know him, and he catches Buck by the arm as he's making his way over to the cake.
"You might want to go wash your face there, bud," he says.
"What?" Buck blinks at him. Then he rubs at his cheek, and looks at his sooty hand, and goes bright red. "Oh. Um. Shit."
"Yeah."
"I was wondering why…" To Eddie's relief, he's laughing. "Well, that's one way to come out to everybody. Right?"
Eddie laughs. "I guess so. You feeling alright about it?"
"Yeah," Buck says. He glances over to where Tommy is talking to Chim and Maddie. Like he sensed it, Tommy glances up and grins brilliantly at him, and Eddie watches something in Buck's expression go soft and warm and pleased. "Yeah. I'm—I'm feeling really, really good about it."
Eddie's heart gives a funny little thump in his chest. He pats Buck's arm, then lets go. "Well, good. Happy for you, man."
"Thanks, Eddie." Just for a moment, Buck turns that soft expression on him. Then he says, "I'm gonna, uh, go wash up. Save me some cake!"
"Sure," Eddie says, but Buck's already gone. He threads through the crowd to Tommy's side, says something in a low voice to him that makes him laugh and Chim put a long-suffering hand over his eyes. Then they're both moving toward the door together, Tommy's hand resting low on Buck's back.
"Dad, can I have another slice of cake?"
He looks down at Chris. "I don't know, mijo, it's kind of…"
"Come on."
"Alright, fine," Eddie says, caving, if only so he doesn't keep looking at the door that Buck and Tommy left through.
They reappear a few minutes later, freshly scrubbed, and Eddie watches Hen hug first Buck, and then Tommy, who looks startled but hugs her back. Then they head through the crowd together toward the cake. Their hands are linked together. Eddie decides that's a good moment to go give Maddie and Chim his congratulations.
He doesn't remember it then, either. It's not until later, when the crowd is finally trickling out ahead of the end of visiting hours and Maddie and Chim take turns hugging a sleepy Jee-Yun before handing her over to Mrs. Lee, that Buck sidles up to him.
"I'm gonna get going," he says. Then, to Chris, "Hey, Superman. Awesome party, huh?"
Chris shrugs, all studied adolescent indifference like he didn't insist on coming along. "It was okay. The cake was good."
"Actually, we should probably get going pretty soon too," Eddie says. "Abuela, you good?"
She flaps a hand at him and goes back to her conversation with Mr. Lee, and Buck says, "I'm gonna, uh, give Tommy a ride back to the station so he can drop off his gear."
He's blushing again. Eddie quirks an eyebrow at him. "Just to the station, huh?"
"Shut up," Buck mutters, but he looks pleased. He looks happy, the way a smile steals helplessly onto his face when he glances up at Tommy, who's standing by the door with his turnout coat slung over his arm, talking to Karen. Who glances up like he could tell Buck was looking at him, and smiles back.
"I mean it," Eddie says, instead of ribbing him some more. "I'm happy for you."
"Yeah, yeah," Buck mutters, slinging an arm over his shoulders and pulling him into a jostling half-hug. "I love you, man. You know that, right?"
Eddie tilts against him, his nose just bumping the edge of Buck's jaw, and that's when the memory hits him like a bullet, or a lightning bolt, or something equally sudden and devastating.
That couch in the hotel room. Sitting there with Buck's arm around his shoulders and one of Buck's legs flung over his knees—his shirt was gone by then, and Buck had lost his jacket, and Eddie could feel the warmth of his body through the thin tee he had on underneath. He was waving his hands as he spoke, jostling Eddie, and Eddie turned his face toward Buck and bumped his nose against his cheek just like he is now, and thought with perfect, sober clarity, I could kiss him right now. I want to kiss him.
He goes still. Buck must feel it, because he jostles Eddie a little, his warm, stubbled jaw rough against the bridge of Eddie's nose for just an instant before Eddie turns his head away. "Eddie? You good?"
"Yeah," Eddie says. He doesn't look up at Buck. Isn't sure he could stand to see his face, this close: his blue eyes, his soft lips, he was just kissing Tommy, he wants Tommy, not you, and anyway you're not—you don't—you can't— "Yeah, I'm good. Just kinda hoping I never see another shot of tequila as long as I live."
"Oh, tell me about it," Buck says, and finally releases him. "In retrospect, that was so fucking dumb."
"Swear jar," Chris remarks, without looking up from his Switch.
"Put it on my tab," Buck says, ruffling his hair. "See you guys later."
"Yeah, later," Eddie says, a beat too late. Buck doesn't seem to notice, thankfully. He gives Eddie a quick grin and heads back to where Tommy is waiting. Karen hugs him, and then Hen does, and Tommy waves at Eddie, who manages to gather the wherewithal to wave back. And then they're gone.
Eddie rubs his knuckles against his sternum, where a dull ache has taken up residence, then lets his hand and pulls a smile on before anyone can see.
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What started out as theories abt when the main cast died but got silly
Annabel + Lenore ✨
This one is pretty straightforward, there’s these Barbie movie redraws flynn did that shows Annabel and Lenore being caught by “NMPD nevermore police department” , with the year 1901 in the corner, implying that’s when they died and got sent to nevermore
This little 1901 in the corner is interesting on like a meta level to me bc 1. in the original Barbie meme theres no date on the slate thingies, so flynn decided to add that piece of info on her own, and 2. this was just after episode 67 came out (on fp I think) and uh little tidbit, before that episode there was a theory that Theo died in like the 1860s or something based on the logo in the newspaper abt his death, the ny daily tribune, and after episode 67 came out and ira mentioned a ship that wasn’t available for public use until 1899 on the discord we were trying to do mental gymnastics to make the 2 dates work but then red came on like “please we accidentally grabbed the wrong logo it’s meant to read new York tribune not New York daily tribune its fixed now we fixed it please” and then a few days later they streamed doing this piece
Anyway, ira talks about the oceanic, which was “the finest ocean liner in the world” the *largest ocean liner in the world* until 1901
The RMS oceanic had its maiden voyage in September of 1899, at the beginning of fall. Annabel says she arrived in New York a fortnight before meeting Lenore, presumably during the spring. Annabel arrives at lenores house in april/may of 1900, spends six months there, and then leaves around the fall, probably somewhere around September or October. Lenore then spends a few months doing her thing and then arrives at her family’s home in either December 1900 or January 1901, during the winter. HERES where it gets interesting. We can assume that Annabel died in the cold, from her spectres chilling atmosphere and all together appearance of corpse in a freezer. She even has frostbite on her fingers and toes, as well as snowflake like glitter in her veil. We can also assume she died on her wedding day, the way she wears her rings on different hands and her wedding dress in spectre form. So if she died in the cold and on her wedding day, then when was her wedding, and how could it be in winter?
heres my 2 theories
1. Lenore beats Annabel at chess just for funsies fairly quickly after arriving, then they try to elope and get caught by their dads
2. Lenore courts Annabel, wins her hand, and they get engaged. Since engagements usually lasted around 6 months to 2 years, their engagement could have been anywhere from however long it takes Lenore to win at chess to December 1901. If their wedding day was in November/December, that means Lenore got away with pretending to be a man for a whole YEAR and they spent that year just being gay and shit/doing schemes.
I personally like option 2 more bc its just sadder that they did get away w it for a while then ultimately got caught - it would also explain why Annabel is just SO into Lenore, if all she remembers is that year they spent being all sneaky and gay and shit, it would explain how she’s just used to flirting and holding onto Lenore in secret. It would also explain why Annabel assumes Lenore is up to scheming at nevermore. if they eloped a few weeks after they reunited it would still be like yeah that makes sense they are such u haul lesbians, but them becoming sneaky codependent gays ripped from each other on their wedding day just hurts more and makes more sense time/character wise
Duke - 1912, maybe even 1912 specifically, idk
Duke has a coin that’s dated to 1912, and Eulalie says it looks brand new. There’s been arguments about wether or not the coin is actually newly minted, but I don’t think we can say for sure. It might not matter either way- I have a theory that the suit cases the students carry aren’t actually random personal items of interest, but a suitcase they packed right before a pivotal event in their lives. Perhaps Duke does have newly minted coins in his suitcase, but he didn’t actually die in 1912. Also! Duke is implied to be a Houdini like figure, so I imagine he’s not later than the 20s.
Pluto - 1914 ish
Plutos spectre wears a British ww1 military uniform, its debated wether or not the jacket was his dads or his, but regardless he couldn’t have died earlier than 1914. Pluto is named after the cat in the short story called The Black Cat by Edgar Allan poe. In the story a cat named Pluto gets its eye slashed out by its drunken owner, eventually getting hung from a tree by the man. Theres obvious references to the story in Plutos design and shit overall, when he manifests a belt snaps around his neck implying he died from strangulation, his spectre has like, a pluming collar/leash of smoke around its neck, his spectre looks like it’s made of ash kinda (someone described him as a burnt rabbit to me once) which is probably a reference to the part in the story where the man’s house burns down, only 1 wall remaining erect, with the image of a black cat scorched into it. Plutos eye is covered by his hair, he walks into a door frame, he’s got spectre abilities called “blink” and “evil eye” so w Pluto until we get more info it’s no earlier than 1914 if you subscribe to the Pluto went to war theory or no earlier than like, say the 20s? if you subscribe to the Plutos dad was a vet theory
Berenice - 1920s
Shes a flapper, cmon. shes from the 1920s. Look at her. We already know she was run over by a cop car after running from some guy, and I tried to look into where the cop car was from but i didn’t have much luck. mostly just confirmed the era, when I searched cop cars of the 1920s pretty similar images to the one that killed bee show up. A few others I think have looked into it more? but im not completely sure. There’s been a lot of theories about where Berenice is from, I’ve seen Louisiana, Chicago, Harlem (Harlem renaissance specifically) but there’s not a lot of conclusive info about Berenice. we know her pearls were real, in the way they scattered, so she had so have some means of affording them. Pearls are held together on a string, but only real pearls have pieces of metal between the pearls to keep them from rubbing against each other. Bees pearls scatter in long strings, not completely all over the place like fake pearls without that structure would.
Eulalie - 1935
The song Eula sings in her death flashback is a Japanese lullaby that was rediscovered in 1935. Its a popular theory that Eulalies death was a hate crime, a fire started because of hate towards Japanese Americans during ww2. She probably died in the forties in america, I don’t think she died in Hiroshima or Nagasaki, the fire that killed her isnt how atomic bombs would have killed her. The kid she sings to asks if someone started the fire on purpose, so imo it was likely a hate crime.
Morella - 1950s - 70s??
Okay so, Morella. we know the least about her. with will we can guess that he was lower class and stuff, but all we know abt Morella is that she’s Irish. Shepards pie and Guinness is pretty timeless. The reason I say 50s to 70s is bc according to Remigoesinsane the clasp to her locket started to be used around that time! that’s all I have on her tbh, a theory of mine is that she died in a factory accident trying to save someone when the machinery went crazy, but that’s mostly it.
Ada - 1930s
Ada’s clothes in her death flashback match those worn by maids in the 1930s, and the lingerie she wears in the manor also matches lingerie worn in the 30s. It would also make sense for Ada’s character to be from the 30s. That decade was called the “somber thirties” bc of how fucked up the economy was after the stock market crash. It was a major time of economic disparity, and Ada’s obsession with trying to seem upper class elite could stem from not having much when she died. She probably sees nevermore as a blank slate, a place where people will see her as more than just “the help” would also make sense that the man that killed her was a rich guy using his power to take advantage of her and get away with the crime. Especially since the poem, Tamerlane, was from the pov of a rich guy lamenting a relationship he had with a lower class girl named Ada.
Prospero ✨
PROSPERO! prospero drinks espresso with his chosen last meal, which was invented in 1901. I think he died from tuberculosis. For a long time a major cause of death has been tuberculosis. So much so that Victorians made it a beauty standard. A major inspiration of Poe himself was tuberculosis, in the masque of red death, along with the grief he was left with after his wife died from it. It rots your lungs, makes you cough up your bloodied respiratory system until you suffocate in it. In the maze, prospero says he felt queasy, like something was crawling under his skin when he died. When prospero cuts his hand, he says he’s going to be sick, and tells Annabel that he’s afraid of blood. (Probably specifically his own blood bc u know he was feeding people to rats like minutes before that) This, coupled with the imagery of blood pouring out from his plague mask when he says the “queasy, like something was crawling under my skin” line, makes me think his death involved a lot of blood! And as I said before tuberculosis was like really gross and bloody and gory. Furthermore, this quote from the writer is SO interesting
In the poem prosperos namesake is in, the masque of red death, the prince prospero, hiding and ignoring a sickness ravaging his country, decides to host a huge party! Everyone’s having a grand old time, the festivities only pausing when the clock strikes, leaving everyone in a dread filled silence, the party picking up almost immediately after and brushing it off. Eventually the plague does get in though and kill them all because they ignored the feeling of dread.
The prince and the party goers die because the prince is blissfully and willfully ignorant of the disease. Bc their hubris didn’t allow them to see the threat of it. Nevermores prospero, however, is obsessed with staying healthy/hygienic as possible. He wears his gloves even when he eats, hates being touched, almost throws up when he cuts his hand. He hallucinates a thousand dirty hands grabbing him and trying to perform an operation on him with disgusting germy tools. He sees the hand he cut amputated, imagining that the wound got so infected that it had to be removed. He stares in horror at his hand before Ada even makes eye contact with him. My theory is Prospero grew up hearing terrible stories of people dying from infection, disease. He heard of people slowly drowning in their own blood. He decided to take every precaution, he simply wouldn’t allow that to be his fate. After Ada attacks him he tells Annabel “you must think me neurotic” for being so upset over the blood on his hand. This feels, so specific and intentional to me. Not just because Annabel dealt with her anxiety and her dad treating her panic attacks like he did, and this is a whole “omg look they’re bonding” moment, but bc, immediately after he tries to assure her that “im not, you know, im perfectly sane” like shit like this has happened before, where ppl called him neurotic for being that sick at the sight of his own blood, or that obsessed with hygiene. The irony being that, he spent his life obsessing over staying healthy, so much so that people called him neurotic, only to die that slow gory death anyway.
That whole, prospero dying from tb tangent aside tho, how it correlates to the time of his death. He probably died in the early 1900s, the earliest being 1901-1906ish, bc again, that’s when espresso started gaining popularity. My guess is he died around the 20s, ik the tb vaccine came out around the 20s, but people still died of it after and are still dying/contracting it today, and in the 20s there were a lot of Italians emigrating to America, and prospero is so aggressively Italian American (eating espresso and cannoli with chocolate chips for his last meal) that it’d make sense. So woo!
Monty - 1910s
Monty is a cowwwwboyyyyyy. The Wild West pretty much tapered out around the early 1900s. He can’t be that recent. He also mentions calamity Jane so that definitely puts him past the 1800s. He seemed to have a pretty wild life, kicked in the head by a horse, tooth knocked out by a human, tied to train tracks and left for dead after calling the pastors daughter loose. crazy guy crazy time
Will ???
Will is so plain i cannot get a read on where hes from im sorry
obligatory thank you for making it to the end, I barely made it myself, this was sitting in my drafts for weeks before I decided to just get it over with. <<333
#nevermore webtoon#lenore nevermore#annabel lee nevermore#white raven#ada nevermore#duke nevermore#morella nevermore#prospero nevermore#berenice nevermore#will nevermore#pluto nevermore#eulalie nevermore
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The Parent Trap | 0.2 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader au
♡ Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist
♡ In which, after a couple of years of listening to Peyton and Parker Bradshaw complain about their parents’ custody agreement, Grandpa Mav’s meddling goes a little bit too far.
♡ warnings: mentions of divorce throughout the fic, flashbacks to arguments and unhappily married people. Idiots who still love each other and don’t know it, struggles during breastfeeding, Jake Seresin cameo, flashback indicated by italics
…
“She’s seeing someone? — You’re kidding!”
Penny looks up from the bar, eyebrows scrunching slightly as she stares across the otherwise empty room at her husband and his two adopted grandchildren. Sitting opposite the two young girls in a booth, the three of them turn their heads and realize that they’re been overheard, then quietly resume their gossiping.
Maverick has this idea in his head that Rooster isn’t happy being alone. He probably isn’t, most people aren’t — but Penny has told him time and time again not to meddle. Rooster’s kind of a hot head about his personal life and this can only end badly.
Anyone that has come across Pete Mitchell, though, will be able to tell you that trying to get a bad idea out of his head is like drawing blood from a stone. There’s no level of intervention that can stop whatever he’s up to. Besides, it is a little bit cute watching the three of them plotting away together.
The door startles Penny as she’s cleaning residue from the beer taps. It’s only eight in the morning, they aren’t open yet and that door is supposed to be locked. Mav left it open. Jake Seresin strolls in the same way he always does, sunglasses on, lips quirked. Like he owns the place.
“Penny.” He greets with a nod.
“Little bit early for me to be seeing you, isn’t it?” She replies with a soft smile, setting her cloth down and leaning her palms forwards on her side of the bar. Jake takes off his sunglasses and tucks them into the front pocket of his khakis.
“My blushing bride seems to think she left something here last night.” Jake answers without a hint of shame, lips quirked at the sides, knowing Penny knows exactly what he’s talking about.
“Ah. Yeah, I was wondering if she would be wanting it back.” Penny answers, her cheeks running hot even though she has nothing to be embarrassed about. Jake’s wedding is to a local girl that Penny has known for years, Quinn even worked her for a couple of summers while she was in college. Last night, Quinn’s bachelorette party began here.
Penny crouches down and slides the lost and found box out from under the counter. She presents Jake with a plastic bag. His brows scrunch slightly. Quinn only sent him here for a phone. Glancing between Penny and this mysterious plastic bag, he opens it gingerly. She watches as his grin grows slightly.
Sure, there’s his fiancées phone. But there’s also a cute little gimmicky thong that was a gift from one of her friends that proudly proclaims ‘Property of Captain Jake Seresin’ on it. There are a few other things too, but it’s the thong that really catches Jake’s eye. He chuckles and closes the bag again.
“Thanks for saving these for me, angel. I’ll make sure that they get back to Quinn safely.” He winks one of his green eyes at her and pats a hand over the top of the bag.
Penny breathes out a dry chuckle, shaking her head. In her almost fifteen years of knowing Jake, he hasn’t changed a bit. “I’m sure you will.”
The sound of hushed whispering draws Jake’s attention away from their conversation, his head turning towards the booth in the corner. He leaves the bag on the bar, wandering over, “Bradshaw’s!”
They turn their heads in unison, two freckled faces staring up at the man who taught them exactly how fun water balloons can be, smiles crossing their faces. “Hey, Jake.”
“What are you two troublemakers doing here? — Shouldn’t you be in school?” He checks the heavy, black IWC watch on his wrist and frowns slightly at the two of them.
“We got suspended.” Parker answers calmly, still undecided in whether or not she should feel guilty about the situation. It’s hard to feel guilty when she gets to spend an entire week hanging out with Grandpa Mav instead of learning fractions.
“No way,” Jake smiles at the idea, leaning forwards and resting his palms on the table on the booth. He has always said that the two of them take after their mother and this just proves it. You always had a knack for finding mischief. “What’d you do?”
“We swapped places so that I could beat someone up for her.” Peyton explains. Jake grins. He and Rooster might have had their differences, but Jake has always adored these little terrors. He turns his head towards Mav, raising his eyebrows and then looking back to the girls.
“You look like you’re up to no good right now.” Jake decides, folding his arms over his broad chest. The twins glance at Maverick and Jake knows that he’s right. He slips a hand into his pocket and pulls out his wallet, opening it up. He drops two five dollar bills in front of each of the girls, “Well, do me a favour and give your old man a little hell.”
“Thanks, Jake.” Parker grins up at him. Like butter wouldn’t melt with her little pigtails and their matching denim overalls. Jake smiles and gives them a curt nod as he steps back.
Jake chuckles to himself as he waves goodbye to Penny and takes his fiancée’s belongings back to his car.
“What did Bradley say when she told him?” Maverick presses.
“He was fine with it!” Peyton bangs her fists on the table, startling her sister and getting a sharp look from Penny. She sighs and folds her arms over her chest. “He’s going to meet this weirdo tomorrow!”
Maverick hums, resting his hand over his face. Admittedly, he hadn’t been expecting a third party and this derails some of the plans he had made with the kids. But, it doesn’t kill the plan completely.
He sits forwards and rests his hands on the table as they lean in closer to hear him. “Okay, so here’s what you do, and this is important, so listen.”
The next afternoon, Bradley finds himself more anxious than usual for the evening. It’s a big deal. Meeting someone who could be a big part of his childrens’ lives. Bradley glances around his room at the two of them, wondering for a moment what they would think if they knew.
Only, they do know, and they’re two steps ahead of him already.
“How come you’re watching me get ready? — You two never care what I wear.” Rooster squints at them through the mirror as he tries to tame his short curls with a small amount of styling wax. Parker picks up the pot and inspects it. Barber Barber beachcomber sea-salt infused styling paste. She lifts it and inhales. It smells good, at least.
Peyton searches through his closet, looking through shirt after shirt as she tries to find one that’s good enough.
“Are you going on a date?” Parker asks. He glances down at her as he grabs the deodorant from his dresser and sprays it under his arms.
“No, just going out with some friends.” He replies calmly. Telling white lies to your kids is just part of being a parent.
“Which friends?” Peyton prompts.
Rooster gives her a quick look from the corner of his eye and smooths a hand over his mustache, eyeing himself in the mirror. There’s more scrutiny in the way he looks at himself now than there used to be. It isn’t that he has let himself go, it’s just that he’s not as young as he used to be. Stronger now, a little less lean than he was back then.
“We don’t have to tell each other everything, you know.”
“I’m gonna remember that when you’re asking me who I’m going on a date with in a couple of years.” Parker replies.
“Watch it.” Rooster warns, instantly frowning at her. She smiles sweetly back up at him. She looks so much like you when she does that. There’s affection in the way he rolls his eyes and grabs his belt from his dresser. “You found a shirt for me yet, honeybee?”
Peyton hums in consideration and steps up onto the base of the wardrobe, extending onto her tiptoes to pull a hanger down from the rack. She turns and sets it on the bed, “Try this one.”
Rooster scrunches up his nose slightly, eyeing the coal coloured button up that his daughter just laid out in front of him. “Kinda boring, don’t you think?”
“It’s grown up.” She protests, hopping up onto the foot of his bed and staring him down, “Try it.”
It’s probably not the smartest move to take advice on what’s grown up and what isn’t from a seven year old, but Bradley relents. It’s a grey linen short sleeve. He slips it over his shoulders and buttons it up. Peyton frowns at her father’s reflection as Parker shakes her head in disapproval
Something about it isn’t clicking. It hugs him too tightly in the wrong places, it sits weird on his arms. He sighs softly. There’s no way he’s wearing this to see you.
“Guys?” The chirpy voice carries through the condo as the front door swings shut downstairs. Amber. Parker glances across at her sister as Bradley calls back that they’re upstairs.
Amber is the twenty year old college student that lives next door. She trails her manicured fingers along the wall as she strolls along the carpeted hallway, already barefoot by the time that she stops to lean up against Bradley’s doorframe. She’s super friendly and she has been so helpful since she got back from college for the summer. She adores the twins and will babysit whenever Bradley asks.
“Hey, Amber — does this look dumb?” Bradley asks, furrowing his brows as he half turns towards her, still eyeing up the awkward fit of the shirt through the mirror. She smiles, her plump, glossed lips quirking at the edges as she looks him up and down.
“Like that? — Um…” She presses her hand over her mouth like she’s about to laugh. Rooster scoffs and shakes his head as he starts to unbutton the shirt.
“Enough said. Pick something else, my little Honeybee.” He chuckles. Amber’s green eyes trail as his fingers work open the buttons on the shirt, revealing more and more tanned skin. Peyton moves to jump down.
“Wait, wait…” Crossing past Parker, she steps in front of her boss and looks him over once more. “We can fix this. Do you have tank tops?”
Parker moves to sit beside her sister on the bed. Faces stormy and their eyes crossed, they watch as this borderline teenager plays dress up with their daddy.
First she gives him a tank top, and then she recommends that he changes his pants. She fiddles through his jewelry while he changes. He steps out of his en-suite with the grey short sleeve unbuttoned and black dress pants that hug his hips perfectly.
“How do I look?”
Her hands reach out and curl into the unbuttoned sides of the shirt, holding onto the fabric as she looks him over. The smile on her lips is unmistakably sly as she nods her head at him, “Amazing. Right, girls?”
Met with immediate silence and stoney faces, Amber’s confidence wavers. Peyton folds her arms over her chest while Parker squints at her side.
“Alright, well I’ve gotta get going. There’s money in the kitchen for pizza, bed by nine at the latest. I’ll be back before eleven. Have fun, kids!”
Amber winces at herself being included in that. Even wearing her Mom’s perfume and the shortest skirt she owns, he’s still calling her kid. She doesn’t realise that Bradley’s aloofness doesn’t run in the family.
The knowing look in the girls’ eyes as their babysitter checks out of the window and watches their dad drive away. The trouble they’re already planning to ensure that she won’t be invited back.
“Babe?” Slamming the car door shut, Bradley damn near forgets to lock it as he bundles the plastic bag under his arm. He rushes forwards, crossing the browning lawn at the front of the condominium and fumbling for his house key. No time for lack of precision, he slips the key into the lock and twists. Even before the door opens, the screaming fills his ears. Hell, he could hear it before he had even turned the car radio off.
“Baby?” The powder-blue painted door swings open wide, chipping paint from the hallway wall that’ll count as a two hundred dollar reduction in the return of your rental deposit later on. He kicks it shut behind him and carries on through the small apartment, already knowing exactly where you are. There are technically only four rooms to pick from.
The kitchen and living room are all in one space. Small bathroom. Two bedrooms. The screaming tells him exactly which room you’re in. Rounding the corner into the nursery, his heart breaks in two. You’re sitting on the floor with your back to Parker’s crib, your head in your hands. He hadn’t heard you sobbing until right now.
“Baby,” He breathes out, legs carrying him forwards as he moves to sit next to you. Parker’s cradled in against your chest, wailing as loudly as her little lungs will let her. Behind you, Peyton’s screaming just as loud in her crib. “It’s okay, give me the baby.”
Up close, he can finally see the way that you’re trembling. No, not even trembling. Shaking. Your lips, your arms, your legs. Unable to hold still as your body wracks with sobs and your smaller baby flails in your arms. Faintly, you can hear your husband saying your name.
“Give me the baby, it’s okay.” Bradley says softly.
Your lip quivers as you cradle her closer to your chest, silent tears burning your cheeks as they stream freely. Your voice breaks, barely audible over the newborn screeches that fill your small apartment. “I called you over an hour ago.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” His adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he sits forwards, shuffling closer to you. He presses his lips to your temple, “I got here as quick as I could. Let me take her.”
You hold her closer, a silent sob wracking through you, feeling her tiny heart racing against your skin with how worked up she has gotten. Tears stream down your face without a break, living your skin wet and salty. “I can’t — s-she still won’t— I’ve been trying—“
“I know, I know, it’s alright,” He smooths a hand gently over the wispy curls on Parker’s head, fluffy and already thinning from the amount that she had been born with. He kisses your shoulder softly. “I got the formula.”
Parker was born smaller than her sister. It’s natural with twins, there’s almost always a smaller one. But, it’s been three weeks. Peyton latches without issue and her weight has been progressing normally. Three weeks old and yesterday’s doctors appointment confirmed that she’s still underweight.
Your mother managed to breastfeed four kids successfully. Four different pregnancies, four different times in her life — and you can’t manage just the two of them. She has been telling you since you found out that you were pregnant that your body would know what to do, that it would all be okay and it isn’t.
“C’mon, mama. Let’s get her fed,” Bradley hums softly as he reaches out for her. “Just need her to stop crying first. Right? — We’ll figure out what comes next after that.”
He kisses the top of your head as you relax your arms enough for him to take the newborn.
“That’s it. Alright, I’m gonna go and make her a bottle. Can you bring Peyton? — Doc says they should eat on the same schedule.” He pushes himself up with one hand and cradles your daughter with the other.
“I fucking fed Peyton already!”
It’s snappier than you mean for it to be. Your chest heaves after you speak, throat sore already from all of the crying. Bradley nods his head, “Perfect. That’s great — she’s probably just crying because loud mouth here’s keeping her up. She’ll calm down. I’m gonna be right back, baby. Two minutes.”
He scoops up the plastic back on the floor and wanders off towards the kitchen. Over the sound of the other twin screaming, you can hear him faintly shushing your daughter.
“Not even a month old yet,” Bradley hums, pressing his lips to his daughter’s forehead, then her nose. “Already being a little trouble-maker. We’ve got our work cut out with you, huh, kid?”
He sways softly, taking care to support her tiny head, leaning back to keep her balanced against his shoulder as he shifts her into one arm so that he can pour the boiled water. Humming softly, he doesn’t even realize that the crying in the other room has stopped until the bottle is ready and Parker’s screeching is replaced with the contented hums.
“Atta girl,” Rooster murmurs, his infant daughter rested safely along his forearm, leaned back against the kitchen counter and her bottle lifted in his other hand whilst she guzzles the formula back. “Gonna just as big as your sister one day, aren’t you?”
A soft whimper breaks his attention from the baby. He looks up and finds you standing in the doorway to the hall. This isn’t how motherhood looked when you had pictured it.
You, barely able to get one baby off to sleep, standing in yesterday’s pyjamas at four in the afternoon, watching your husband take care of the baby after he has been at work all day. You stare at him, still in his work khakis, making it look so natural.
Standing before him in one of his stretched out old hoodies and a pair of boxers that you bought for yourself in your final trimester. Skin blotchy and your eyes swollen with tears, you turn your face away from him towards the ground.
“Hi, beautiful,” Rooster smiles at you. After most of her two ounce bottle is finished, Parker stops drinking and Bradley sets the bottle down on the counter. His face soft, head tilted, those big brown eyes tugging at your heart strings. “Tough day?”
A sob catches in your throat as you stumble forwards and press yourself into his side. Parker tucked up against his other shoulder as he pats her back gently, he’s quick to wrap his other arm around you. He’s going to have to grow a third with him being outnumbered like this.
“I keep trying and she just won’t — or she can’t — or I’m doing something — a-and my Mom says that—“ Babbling on, dampening the shoulder of his uniform. Bradley simply rests his cheek against your hair and smiles to himself.
“Baby,” It’s enough to make you quiet for a minute. His hand patting Parker’s back softly, the gravel of his voice vibrating through his chest as your head lays against his shoulder. “Your Mom once asked me if the movie Avatar was based on a true story. She gets it wrong sometimes.”
You can’t help but chuckle at the analogy he chose, hugging yourself closer to his side, resting your hand against Parker’s back over the top of his.
“Formula or breastfeeding — whatever stops her from screaming the house down like that is a win in my book. How about yours?” Bradley asks, rubbing his free hand up and down along the base of your spine. You nod softly against his chest. He pulls back and lays Parker down along the length of his forearm again, her head resting against your stomach.
“I just want to do it all right. They’re so perfect, and I just… I want to be perfect for them too, like you are.”
“Me? — Perfect?” Bradley lifts his head and grins at you. He unhooks his arm from around your waist and presses the back of his palm to your forehead. “All these kids are making you loopy, baby.”
You lean down and kiss her forehead softly, then settle back in against Bradley’s side. “I’m so worried about her already. Do you think we ever stop feeling like this?”
Bradley shakes his head softly as he strokes his index finger along her rounded cheek, and over her chin. “Nah. Kids are designed to stress their parents out, it’s like their sole purpose.”
Lips quirking softly at the sides, you glance up at him and know that he’s probably right. Doing it with him made it all seem okay, though. Being stressed out with him at your side didn’t seem so tough.
Now, staring at him across the restaurant, it suddenly occurs to you to wonder when all of that changed. When had doing it alone become a safer option than having him with you? — Those last few months all seem so blurry now.
The memories might be fuzzy but the feelings aren’t. They’re heavy and they’ve sat with you for the past two years. You might not remember exactly why you let him go, but the pain is enough to know that you wouldn’t like to feel that way again.
“Rooster!”
Chris and Bradley’s heads turn at the same time. Bradley nods in acknowledgement as his autopilot directs him to do. Then, he steps past the hostess and points to the two of you. He takes in what’s in front of him as he walks over.
This new guy isn’t ugly, which is more irritating than Bradley was expecting it to be. He looks him up and down. Loose fitting jeans and a flannel shirt buttoned up. Brown hair that really isn’t styled all that differently from Bradley’s. But, thanks to Amber, Bradley is dressed significantly better.
The pants fit him perfectly and the charcoal shirt just makes his skin look even more golden than it usually is. You squint softly and wonder who the fuck dressed him — because the man that you married doesn’t dress like that.
Maybe the man that you divorced does. It’s been a long time since you saw Bradley for something other than drop offs or pick ups.
“Hey.”
“Roo— Bradley,” It seems more grown up, more formal. A more appropriate way to refer to your ex husband. “This is Chris. Chris, this is Bradley.”
“Heard a lot about you.” Chris smiles, cheeks dimpling as he sticks his hand out. You watch as Bradley takes his hand and shakes it casually. Weird — it’s weird.
“You’re still a man of mystery to me,” Bradley admits playfully, shooting you a quick look and noticing that you’re eyeing his outfit. Letting the babysitter pick what he was wearing was a good choice. “Luckily, I’m good at asking questions.”
Small talk, small talk. Your ex-husband and your boyfriend are hitting it off like a house on fire and you’re just standing idly between them, wondering why this doesn’t please you as much as it should.
The nerves that have been bothering you all weekend don’t settle down even when they’re laughing and jibing each other about football teams and golf. You didn’t even know that Bradley played golf.
You’re shown to your table and you accidentally pick the seat between them. Chris sits back in his seat with one hand on your knee and the other curled around his beer as he teases Bradley about a football game from three years ago that their teams played against each other.
As much as he’s enjoying the conversation, Bradley’s eyes keep wandering back to that guy’s hand on your knee. His foot taps impatiently against the floor, fighting to keep his focus on the conversation.
Finally, focus shifts to something a little more engaging for you when Bradley asks you how the two of you met. He sits back on his chair and watches the two of you finish each other’s sentences.
“Well, Chris’ workshop is right down the street from my store, and y’know, I have consultations all the time and weddings are stressful so I like to keep my appointments chill and quiet, but then he was always—“
“Y’know, building something. Hammering, sawing, whatever. And there are a couple of times actually, where she came flying through the door of my shop telling me what’s what and —“
His thumb swipes through the condensation on his beer, staring at you. Your face is turned away from him, looking at Chris with this dopey, lovesick look on your face. Bradley wonders if you’ve told him that you love him yet.
It’s a cute story. The way that you’re beaming across the table at this guy doesn’t make Bradley happy, but he knows that it should. By the time you’re finished eating, he has searched high and low for some kind of major character flaw on this guy and had come up with nothing.
Short, brown hair. Stubble covering his jaw, kind of a squinty cowboy look to contrast the sharp blue of his eyes, not short. Handsome, sure. And he’s great with kids.
Bradley damn near picks up his dessert spoon and turns it into a weapon — either for use on himself or your new boyfriend, he isn’t sure, when he listens to Chris’ stories from his work with inner city kids.
Thankfully, right as they’re getting into the nitty gritty of Chris’ charitable personality, Bradley’s phone cuts through the silence. You grin across the table at Chris, squeezing his large palm in yours and pretending that this doesn’t make you as uncomfortable as it does.
“Whoa — kid, slow down. What?” Bradley plugs a finger into his other ear, brows furrowing as he tries to decipher the incoherent babbling on the other end of the phone.
“I looked everywhere, and I’ve been calling them for like fifteen minutes! I don’t know if they’re hiding or they ran away but I’m freaking out right now, please don’t be mad at me — should I call the cops?”
Rooster pushes his chair out and stands up from the table. “Jesus Christ, no. Don’t call the cops, I’m on my way. Did you check the crawl space in my room?”
“Cops? — Rooster, what the fuck?” You frown at him from across the table. Rooster sighs and presses his finger into his ear drum to understand the shrieking girl on the line.
“There’s a crawl space in your room?”
“Just, hang tight. I’m gonna be ten minutes. Tell them I’m on my way and they’ll probably turn up.” He hangs up and shoves his phone into his pocket, grabbing his wallet and tugging it open. “I’m really sorry, I’ve gotta run. It was great meeting you Chris, you seem really cool, but, uh—“
“Rooster, did you let somebody lose our kids?”
“No! I left them with a very responsible babysitter, actually, and I’m pretty sure that they’re just messing with her.”
“Oh, well that’s good. You’re pretty sure.” You sigh, shaking your head at him as you set your glass down. “I’ll be sure to mention that when I issue the amber alert.”
Chris slips his hand into yours and squeezes softly as Bradley tosses his card down onto the table.
“Whatever. I’ll text you.” He slips his wallet back into his pants and turns, leaving your mouth gaping.
“Are you kidding — our kids might be missing, we’re obviously coming. Right?” You shoot a look across at Chris as it occurs to you that this is probably extremely overwhelming for him. He gives you a calm smile and nods his head at you.
…
@fadingbelieverexpert @jessirosebud @cowboybarbie @pinkpantheris @thedroneranger @a-serene-place-to-be @xoxabs88xox @unordinaire @slutfordw @fudge13 @averyhotchner @hangmanscoming @sharpsapphic666 @khaylin27 @bradshawseresinbabe @diorrfairy @perpetuelledaydreaming @phoenix1388 @cherrycola27 @wkndwlff
“Yeah. I’ll get the car if you settle up in here, we’ll meet Rooster back at his place.”
#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#miles teller#bradley bradshaw smut#rooster x you#rooster bradshaw imagine#top gun smut#the parent trap
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Letters van Helsing has now read:
9 May - "I am longing to be with you, and by the sea, where we can talk together freely [...] I shall try to do what I see lady journalists do: interviewing and writing descriptions and trying to remember conversations. I am told that, with a little practice, one can remember all that goes on or that one hears said during a day. [...] I have just had a few hurried lines from Jonathan from Transylvania. He is well, and will be returning in about a week."
24 August - "I found my dear one, oh, so thin and pale and weak-looking. All the resolution has gone out of his dear eyes, and that quiet dignity which I told you was in his face has vanished. He is only a wreck of himself, and he does not remember anything that has happened to him for a long time past. [...] ...after saying that she could never mention what my poor dear raved about, added: 'I can tell you this much, my dear: that it was not about anything which he has done wrong himself; and you, as his wife to be, have no cause to be concerned. He has not forgotten you or what he owes to you. His fear was of great and terrible things, which no mortal can treat of.' [...] I have had a great shock, and when I try to think of what it is I feel my head spin round, and I do not know if it was all real or the dreaming of a madman. You know I have had brain fever, and that is to be mad. The secret is here, and I do not want to know it. [...] I took the book from under his pillow, and wrapped it up in white paper, and tied it with a little bit of pale blue ribbon which was round my neck, and sealed it over the knot with sealing-wax, and for my seal I used my wedding ring. Then I kissed it and showed it to my husband, and told him that I would keep it so, and then it would be an outward and visible sign for us all our lives that we trusted each other; that I would never open it unless it were for his own dear sake or for the sake of some stern duty."
17 September - "Jonathan wants looking after still. He is beginning to put some flesh on his bones again, but he was terribly weakened by the long illness; even now he sometimes starts out of his sleep in a sudden way and awakes all trembling until I can coax him back to his usual placidity."
18 September - "But it is here that the grave shock that he experienced tells upon him the most. Oh, it is too hard that a sweet, simple, noble, strong nature such as his—a nature which enabled him by our dear, good friend's aid to rise from clerk to master in a few years—should be so injured that the very essence of its strength is gone."
He has also read Lucy's diary, the first entry of which (24 August) contains these lines: "I must imitate Mina, and keep writing things down. [...] Last night I seemed to be dreaming again just as I was at Whitby."
So, the impression he will have of the facts, upon writing his letter to Mina today, goes something like this:
Mina's then-fiance went to Transylvania and was supposed to return by around 16 May.
Instead, Mina found him terribly ill in a hospital in Budapest on 24 August, about three months later. He had been raving about great and terrible things, but could no longer recall them.
He had written a record of these things.
No one knows what is inside his record, but Mina has possession of it.
He is still fragile/slowly recovering.
Mina was with Lucy on Whitby, where Lucy was likely first attacked.
Mina kept a thorough record of those days.
So his goal in asking to speak to Mina is likely to try and get access to her journal from Whitby, and Jonathan's journal as well if he can manage it (less directly linked but suspicious). Not knowing that she has already read Jonathan's journal, it probably feels like a huge ask (since she sealed it up with great deliberacy) and he probably expects her to have no knowledge of the significance of anything she remembers from Whitby either. No wonder he is so polite and apologetic in his letter.
#dracula daily#van helsing#also he thinks that jonathan must not be able to handle what happened to him so he of course says not to bother him about it at all#he has no intention of involving her further though at this point#but since she has read jonathan's journal things aren't gonna turn out the way he expects
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The Untamed costumes extra:
Waist ornaments
We all know the beautiful, tasseled ornaments the Twin Jades wear hanging from their belts:
So, I thought an extra costume post looking at these and other waist ornaments seen in the Untamed might be called for.
Various kinds of waist ornaments, yaopei, have tradionally been worn with hanfu. The long tasseled jade waist pendants often seen in historical c-drama (and in the Untamed), are the type of yaopei called jinbu that were originally worn to hold down the hanfu skirts; @ziseviolet who runs an amazing blog on hanfu has this excellent post that provides more information.
So, in addition to the esteemed Lan brothers, who else wears a jinbu in the Untamed? Let's start with... him.
Jin Guangshan is wearing what to me looks like the most traditional style of jinbu among those seen in the Untamed. It comprises a carved nefrite jade (hetian jade?) piece that looks like it might be a variation of double dragon head huang (the lower picture is a piece from Han Dynasty era, shamelessly stolen from the net). From the jade are hanging three pendants of various yellow gemstones, perhaps yellow topaz and amber?, each adorned with a golden yellow tassel.
And we have more Jins wearing jinbu. No, not Jin Zixuan, who actually dresses rather modestly to be called a Peacock, but his half-brother.
Chief Cultivator Jin Guangyao wears not one but two identical waist ornaments hanging from his jade-decorated belt. The pieces comprise tassels of the same yellow as Jin Guangshan's, and beads of silver and various gemstones in red (ruby or garnet?), yellow (topaz?) and dark gray (that's a tough one... translucent black jade?), but I have not managed to find a good close-up shot of them. Do you know how many in-focus below-the-waist close-ups the are in the Untamed? Not bloody nearly many enough! Also, a little side note here! I have been watching the Monarch Industry / Rebel Princess, and just noticed that Emperor Ma Zitan wears rather similar double waist ornaments with one of his outfits. So this is probably a specific style of jinbu?
And we have Jin Ling, who wears the Jiang Clarity Bell hanging from his waist (the only one seen to wear it thus in the Untamed).
Jin Ling's waist ornament is quite interesting, because in addition to the small silver bells (two instead of one) it has two carved Bodhi Root beads (one depicting a lotus bud), a carved lotus pendant in what looks like white nephrite jade, and pale yellow double tassels with silver caps; identical to the ornament Jiang Yanli drops onto a stone, breaking the jade pendant, while waiting for news from Lotus Pier after the Wen attack.
So, do all Jiang Clarity Bells have the same construction? Are they all identical? It doesn't seem to be the case: at least the one Jiang Yanli gives to Wei Wuxian in Yiling before her wedding is different, with a different kind of large lotus bead:
So it seems that the waist ornament Jin Ling wears is the one that belonged to his mother, with the broken jade pendant repaired or, perhaps more likely, carved anew at some point before Jiang Yanli's death. If that is the case, Jin Ling has something from both of his parents: his father's sword and his mother's clarity bell. I do not remember if that was mentioned to be the case in the novel?
Talking about Jiang Yanli, she is the only woman in the Untamed seen wearing a jinbu. This takes place during the Phoenix Mountain hunt and when she stays at Jinlintai afterwards, and both her outfit and the jinbu are clearly Jin in style.
The jinbu comprises various silver beads together with a red, a yellow and a dark grey gemstone bead (similar combination as later worn by Jin Guangyao) and what seems to be a flower of some kind (not a peony, though), also in silver. And the Jin-yellow tassel.
Let's get back to the jinbu that the esteemed Lan brothers wear, which are quite distinctive. In addition to the two jade rings, they have some additional beads in silver and gemstones, and a long tassel.
The jade rings in Lan Wangji's jinbu are, I think, the finest white mutton fat hetian nephrite. Zooming in on the left image, it seems that the rings are not smooth, but might actually have carvings on them. If that is the case I'm guessing it could be a cloud motif of some kind, perhaps something similar as on the jade rings in the bottom image (again, found in the net). The additional gemstones seem to be either blue or colourless, perhaps topaz and aquamarine. The tassel is grey, similar to the tassel on Bichen.
Lan Xichen's jinbu has jade rings of what seems like translucent moss-in-snow type of jadeite, similar to the bangle in the bottom right image. Similar to Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen has additional silver as well as blue and clear gemstone beads in his jinbu, including a rather large blue stone above his tassel. It also seems there is a reddish bead, close to the top (seen in the uppermost image). Lan Xichen's tassel is very dark blue, nearly black, a similar shade as also found in Shuoyue's and Liebing's tassels.
In addition to the Twin Jades, Lan Qiren also wears a jinbu, but his is somewhat different from those worn by his nephews: instead of the distinctive two jade rings, Lan Qiren's jinbu has a large, flat medallion of white, carved nephrite jade and a decorative chinese knot. Unfortunately, I was not able to find any clear close-up shots of either one, so I'm not able to say anything more precise about them... If I come across any later, I'll update this.
The additional beads in the Grandmaster's jinbu are quite small, and seem to be rather dark (blue?) in colour, but it is quite impossible to see what stone they might be made of (lapis lazuli might be one option). The tassel of his jinbu is also grey, or perhaps bluish grey.
To end this, I should perhaps point out that even if I've made the assumption that the additional beads would be gemstones, I've understood glass beads were also traditionally used, so coloured glass might also be a feasible option, also in-universe.
But what would I give for a few clear closeups!
#the untamed costumes#waist ornaments#jinbu#theuntameddaily#the twin jades#lan wangji#lan xichen#jin guangshan#jin guangyao#jin ling#jiang yanli#jiang clarity bell#lan giren#long post#guzhuang#mine
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Endgame: The Book Report
So here it is. It kinda goes off the rails towards the end. That's the problem with having to drink through this: it's very easy to lose your train of thought, so you end up rambling.
As always, the TL;DR first. I'm goign to use headings and subheadings in the report below for easier skimming.
There aren't many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.
It's not as bad as Finding Freedom but it's still not good.
Scobie definitely holds a grudge for the way he was treated after Finding Freedom published.
The hypocrisy is unreal.
Scobie and the Sussexes don't understand how business works.
An important conversation on race gets lost.
Rage against the machine and media
Not many new revelations, but there's still a bombshell.
There isn't a whole lot that's new. Most of the book (maybe 75%/80%) is things we already know about because they were covered extensively by the media when it happened.
Sources. He never names names, so the whole thing is written based on anonymous sources and it doesn't seem reliable. Not to mention, some of the sources read like it might be the same person, but Scobie is treating them as different people so it looks like he has a ton of sources. It suggests, to me, that he doesn't have the kind of access he claims to (which is probably true. There was a leak a couple months ago by one of the royal reporters that Scobie once called them begging for contacts and sources because no one was talking to him) and he's scrambling to cover it up.
Piers Morgan. Scobie confirms that Piers is close to Camilla. They grew up near each other and have fond memories of their hometown that they’ve connected over. There’s a 10-year age gap between them so it’s more like they have people/experiences in common than they played together. Scobie is careful not to say that he thinks Camilla gives information to Piers but he makes it clear that Piers’s loyalty has not gone unrecognized by Camilla.
The Bee, The Wasp, and The Fly. Harry's villains in Spare, which he nicknamed so he wouldn't be sued could speak more openly about them. I remember a lot of guessing about who these were but I can't recall if anyone confirmed their names. Well, Scobie does.
The Bee is Edward Young, whom Harry hates because “Young abused his gatekeeping power, gaslighting him when it came to passing along important messages about his lawsuits to the media, and then prohibiting access to his grandmother when Harry needed her the most, all under the guise of ‘protecting the sovereign’.” Harry and Scobie also believe that Young truly loathed Meghan and “was slow to help find patronages and active roles” for her after the wedding. “Sources say he ‘dithered’ for eight months before nudging Queen Elizabeth II to appoint Meghan as the royal patron for the National Theatre.” (So Meghan is incapable of doing her own work to find suitable charities and patronages? So much for hitting the ground running like she claimed.)
The Wasp is Clive Alderton. He's Charles's crony.
The Fly is Simon Case, whom Harry sees as the cause for his and William’s relationship breaking. In Harry’s perspective, Case made moves that prioritized William’s role as heir without consideration for Harry. Some of Case’s actions felt like they were made to promote William at Harry’s expense (for instance, Harry believes Case pushed British media to attack the Sussexes over their travel by private flight and organized the Cambridges’ commercial Flybe flight to Balmoral with the express purpose of being able to tip off the press).
Rota System. Scobie describes how the rota works. It is the most complete explanation of how the rota works that I can recall reading in royal books and I can't see them being very happy he pulled the curtain back. (More on this in the 'Media' section further down.)
Courtiers - Scobie explains that in the palace lexicon, a courtier is “a press official or private secretary who manages and offers advice to working royals, strategizes engagements, and releases information.” These are Diana’s “men in gray suits.”
The bombshell - Scobie implies that Harry accused Christian Jones of either hacking his and Meghan’s phones/office(s) and feeding information to Dan Wootton at The Sun or facilitating access for Wootton/The Sun to hack their phones/offices, leading to Wootton’s Megxit scoops.
Scobie doesn’t say that specifically and he’s careful to paint Harry with sympathy but it’s there between the lines. After describing what happened, Scobie writes that Harry was surprised by the Palace’s response, that they were angry at him, not Jones, and that they had arranged a lawyer for Jones (which is, to me, the first subtle hint that Harry wasn’t just complaining and had actually made some kind of accusation). Scobie goes further to say that the Palace interpreted Harry’s complaints as a threat to sue so they lowered the boom and then Harry realized how badly he fucked up so he did the classic “you’re overreacting, that’s not what I said.”
The timeline is a little unclear but from Scobie’s writing, Harry’s “report” to higher authorities of his concerns about Jones and The Sun happened in April 2020 after “starting” in January 2020 at the Sandringham Summit when Harry apparently spoke to William about this. Now, this is where I get a little “be fucking for real.” Let’s be clear: the Megxit statement was Harry announcing his intent to quit and the Sandringham Summit was the BRF saying “we accept your resignation, your last day is X” (which ended up being March 9th, the Commonwealth Service). Which means that by the time April rolled around and Harry made this “report,” he was no longer an employee of the firm; he was, for all intent and purpose, a disgruntled ex-employee with a grudge. Of course the Palace is going to come down hard on him, because they’re going to protect the person who is still there working for them.
Harry (and Scobie) seem to believe that this “report” of his concerns with The Sun is directly connected to the palace’s decision in July 2020 to cut off all the financial support he and Meghan were still getting from the Crown, including the official private security that Charles was paying for. (This is the second subtle hint that his “report” was actually some kind of accusation or threat.) Maybe there is a correlation, maybe there isn’t. But at the end of the day, Harry fucked around and Harry found out.
(Christian Jones comes up again in the Media section.)
It's not as bad as Finding Freedom, but it's still not good.
Finding Freedom. One of the things everyone roasted Scobie on was all the merching, name-dropping and brand promotion that was in Finding Freedom. He must have learned his lesson because there’s very little of this. In that regard, Endgame isn’t as obnoxious to read.
The Crown. Scobie mentions The Crown a few times and talks about a couple of plot points. It only happens three or four times, but it’s a definite clue that his audience is the casual royal watcher here only for the drama. It’s hard to take him (or anyone, really) serious when he’s compelled to base the veracity of something happening on whether, or how, The Crown covered it.
Editing and fact-checking. The editing (grammar, punctuation, etc.) isn’t as bad as in Spare, but Scobie and his team definitely have some mistakes. Someone on that team doesn’t know how to write a list, so there’s a lot of strange clauses and phrases.
With the fact-checking, there are a few glaring errors that close followers/watchers of the royal family will pick up. The most egregious one is this sentence:
During a conversation just hours after the September 19, 2022, funeral of Prince Philip, Harry confronted his father and brother about why nothing was done on Meghan’s behalf.
Philip’s funeral was April 17, 2021, and we know there was a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards. The Queen’s funeral was September 19, 2022, and no one reported a Harry-Charles-William confrontation afterwards, so I don’t think it happened there. (Also William wasn’t talking to Harry by September 2022 - Scobie makes it painfully clear that William was both refusing to see Harry and refusing to take his calls.)
However, if you google Prince Philip’s funeral, you get this:
The truth is that Philip’s funeral was on April 17, 2021. But Philip wasn’t actually buried (i.e., placed in his final resting place) then. That had to wait until The Queen’s funeral, and it was widely announced at the time that he would wait. The Queen and Prince Philip were both interred together on the evening of September 19, 2022, in a private family-only service.
So that’s some very lazy fact-checking. It's Internet 101: Verify, verify, verify.
Other similar instances:
Scobie’s description of The Queen’s return home to London: "Five days into the ten-day period of national mourning, King Charles and Camilla, Queen Consort, received the coffin at RAF Northolt, on the western outskirts of London. It was there the royal family handed over her body to the public she served--Her Majesty then lay in state until the day of her funeral." (Charles and Camilla weren’t at RAF Northolt. They received the coffin at Buckingham Palace - remember, Scobie? When you got the only photograph of the moment because Meghan tipped you off?, and the family didn’t “hand over” The Queen until the following day, Day Six.) (Here’s the livestream from RAF Northolt; go to 25:07 for a view of the receiving party).
Scobie writes that Sara Latham was working for the Sussexes in Summer 2018, but she wasn’t hired until March 2019. (The specific quote is in the Meghan’s Lapdog section below.)
Scobie writes that William “automatically became the Prince of Wales--the Duke of Cornwall in England and the Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew in Scotland” on the Queen’s death and Charles’s accession. William got the Duke of Cornwall and the rest on Charles’s accession. Charles had to bestow Prince of Wales on him.
The second instance of fact-checking that jumps out is Scobie’s own fact-checking on misinformation about Harry and Meghan, yet he perpetuates it against other members of the royal family. Here’s an example. Scobie discusses how News of the World published stories about Harry's drug use as a teenager but then goes on to say:
While Harry has admitted to spending many nights at Highgrove getting high and drunkenly falling into trouble at a local pub in Wiltshire, the story failed to mention that this rebellious time in his life was partly the result of Charles leaving him alone at his country mansion for a majority of the summer in 2002.
But then Scobie gives only partial stories for other royals, conveniently leaving out the pieces that nullify his argument:
It's impossible to forget the time Kensington Palace issued an official statement in defense of Kate after a plastic surgeon had suggested to a newspaper that she, then the Duchess of Cambridge, had 'baby Botox' injections to reduce wrinkles.
and
And who can forget when [Edward and Sophie] was sent to Antigua and Barbados, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, and Saint Lucia just one month after William and Kate's flop Caribbean tour?
and
“There is even a rumor (one that, surprisingly, sources have confirmed) that Charles likes to have someone squeeze exactly one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush for him ahead of his bedtime routine.”
The truth is that KP only took action about Kate's baby Botox claims because the surgeon was using her image to promote his practice. And the way Scobie describes the then-Wessex tour of the Caribbean, he means for us to think it was an apology tour after the terribly-received Cambridge tour, but that is not at all the case: the Cambridge tour and the Wessex tour were both announced on the same day, in the same press release. And yes, Charles did once have someone toothpaste his toothbrush, but only when he had a broken arm/wrist and couldn’t do it himself.
Citations. Let me ask you a quick question first. When you read a nonfiction book like this, you expect the author to cite their sources in the text, right? You want the footnotes and the endnotes so you can look up where things are coming from, right? Well, not Scobie! He lumps his sources and citations together in a “credits” section at the end of the book. If you want to know what a source says or which article he’s referencing, good luck. For me, this is terrible practice because it obscures and obfuscates the strength of his work. It calls a lot of questions about the accuracy of his reporting that he can’t properly attribute his quotes, sources, or reference materials and makes the possibility that his entire book is the same handful of anonymous sources more likely.
Strange interludes. Throughout the book, there are strange interludes of, well, history lessons. There are sections on Charles II and William IV, sections about Hamlet and Beckett, and Scobie even discusses Lucy Worlsey’s book on Georgian courtiers (YOU KEEP LUCY WORLSEY OUT OF YOUR MOUTH **Will Smith slap**). I see what he’s doing - he’s trying to connect the issues in the modern House of Windsor with other periods of institutional stability - but it doesn’t really work. It’s awkward. In some places it works better than others, like the piece about Worlsey’s courtiers goes easily with Scobie’s discussion of Charles’s courtiers. But to bring up William IV only to point out how Charles is older than him? It’s clunky.
What exactly is this book? I don’t know. Sometimes it’s a cultural interpretation of the modern House of Windsor in the new Carolean age through the lens of media relations.
Sometimes it’s Scobie’s memoir. He puts himself in the middle of these stories a lot, to the point where it’s like 50% his personal recollection and 50% commentary. We get it, man. You have a fabulous job with access to the kinds of people and events the rest of us can only dream about it. But it’s not about you. It’s about the people around you. Take yourself out of it.
Sometimes it’s an investigative journalism-like expose. It reminds me a lot of the works by the muckrakers, who were working hard to expose corruption and implement reform. There are sections of the book that feels preachy, where Scobie is writing about his ideas for how the palace’s relationship with the media need to change or how their stance on race relations could modernize, and when it’s not accepted or taken seriously, you can feel his anger seeping off the page that no one’s listening to him.
And sometimes it reads as if it’s been ghostwritten by Meghan and Harry themselves. There are some stories, some quotes, some details–especially post-Megxit–that could only come from them, or people very close to them in California. And you know, given how intensely private Harry and Meghan are, they absolutely consented to those stories being part of Scobie’s book. Scobie tries hard to cover those tracks but it leaks through. Here are some of those quotes/sections:
The next morning, after a further Palace update warned that her doctors were 'concerned for Her Majesty's health and have recommended she remain under medical supervision,’ an insider messaged me to say, 'It's not looking good.' For a multitude of reasons, I hoped the warning would turn out to be false. Arriving at ABC News' offices that Thursday afternoon, I received a text from someone very close to the family. As I caught my breath in the elevator of the Disney-owned building, 'A Spoonful of Sugar' was playing quietly in the background, making a surreal moment even more so. 'Please don't say anything yet, but I think it's happened,' they wrote. I responded with a follow-up, checking that I understood their message correctly. No doubt trying to get confirmation of their own, the source--someone whose word I had come to trust over recent years--didn't reply.
and
[Princess Michael] later apologized for the indiscretion (though never directly to Meghan), but according to sources, the princess still shrugs and wrinkles her lip when the subject comes up. 'I don't think she particularly cared,' a senior royal source told me.
(how would Scobie know she never apologized directly to Meghan?)
and
As the morning sun rises over Santa Barbara, bathing the steep Santa Ynez Mountains, and the Pacific Ocean sparkles with California's trademark glow, the sprawling Sussex compound in the wealthy enclave of Montecito is already popping. With Meghan already preparing a family breakfast in the kitchen, Prince Harry is busy getting the couple's children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet, ready for nursery school and toddler playgroup, respectively. Despite the staff on hand to help during the daytime, when Harry and Meghan shift into work mode, the Sussexes keep their mornings as time 'for the family only,' said a source--no staff.
and
The Sussexes' team received correspondence from Buckingham Palace's Keeper of the Privy Purse Sir Michael John Stevens, who informed Harry and Meghan that, as they were no longer working royals or based in Britain, they needed to give up the keys to their royal rental, Frogmore Cottage. Although there were reports to the contrary some months later, I spoke to a source close to the couple on the day they were informed, and there was a clear feeling of shock and disappointment as the news sunk in.
Kate. How Scobie writes of Kate reveals that he may not be as close to the Waleses as he claims:
And now, like Diana, she, too, is the Princess of Wales. It’s a title that carries a huge and extremely important legacy, but sources close to the royal (who, for those wondering, ‘is just as happy being called Kate as she is Catherine’) say she is surprisingly ‘unfazed’ by her new destination.
I’m specifically talking about why he calls her Kate versus Catherine. (And I have issues with “surprisingly ‘unfazed’” too.) Yes, everyone knows that at one point, she was called Kate. But it’s been made very clear that she prefers to be called Catherine. She introduces herself as Catherine. William and the family calls her Catherine. She signs her letters, cards, and tweets as Catherine. She asked her own friends and her own family to call her Catherine. Nobody calls her Kate except the public, and I feel pretty confident in saying that the “call me Kate or Catherine” message was explicitly intended for the general public, because she isn’t going to be all ‘ahem, my name is CATHERINE’ to fourteen-year-old Jennifer who’s so excited to see her, and the press decided to lump themselves into that category because their SEO is tied to ‘Kate.’
But what I’ve noticed is that people in the traditional press are starting to call her Catherine, especially those that write books. The shift seems to have begun when The Queen passed and Kate became The Princess of Wales.
So for Scobie to happily call her Kate and justify it with ‘well she said it’s OK!’ when she very clearly prefers Catherine makes him more uncredible. He can call Meghan by her preferred name. Why can’t he call Kate ‘Catherine’ because she prefers it?
(As for “surprisingly unfazed” - listen. The woman took William back seventeen years ago KNOWING that this was her future. That’s 4 years “pre-engaged” and almost 13 years of marriage, and you’re telling me you’re shocked, just SHOCKED, that she was prepared to be the Princess of Wales? Scobie, please.)
Scobie holds a HUGE grudge about the way he was treated after Finding Freedom.
He’s not Meghan’s lapdog! Much of the criticism Scobie endured from Finding Freedom were allegations of how close he was to Meghan. He denies, denies, denies all through Endgame, and those statements are dripping with scorn and derision. He absolutely hates that people don’t take him seriously because of a perceived connection to Meghan:
The papers would often refer to me, incorrectly, as Harry and Meghan's 'pal,' another lie largely created to delegitimize the details I was sharing from sources close to the couple that often went against narratives that tabloids were reporting.
He goes to great lengths to tell us and make sure we know that he is not close with Harry and Meghan, that he is close to their communication aides/staff. That may or may not be true, but it certainly does not help his case when he keeps saying things like:
During the peak of [Meghan's racism on-slaught and Scobie's social media pile-on] in late summer 2018, I received a call that I thought was from the couple's head of communications at the time, Sara Latham. We had been texting back and forth about an upcoming royal engagement. 'Hi, Omid!' a female voice chirped. It was different to Latham's northwestern American accent. 'It's Meghan.' I put my iced coffee down, not quite sure if the call was a prank. 'We saw your name keep coming up on the phone...and I just wanted to say high, see how you're doing.' Sara had mentioned to her that I was dealing with my own online harassment and threats.
and
When the couple left their children in California with Meghan's mother, Doria Ragland, and a nanny to visit the United Kingdom and Germany for five days of engagements in September 2022, neither knew that the quick-fire trip would result in a two-week return to royal drama. Neither did I. During this visit, I joined some of their engagements and watched as Meghan gave a speech to teenagers and young adults at the One Young World summit in Manchester.
and
That summer, Christian Jones--who remained at Kensington Palace to oversee all the Cambridges' media efforts--messaged me out of the blue to say it would no longer be appropriate to socialize. Another aide later told me that William had requested this. As we approached 2020, I felt the growing strains on my working relationship with Kensington Palace, who were also much more guarded when it came to their own communication with the Sussex team at Buckingham Palace. I was still invited to the private briefings and announcements but, two months after returning from an October tour with the Sussexes in southern Africa, one of William's aides revealed that William felt 'uncomfortable' with my relationship with the Sussex team.
He’s so close to the Sussexes that Meghan has personally spoken to him, that he was invited to cover their fauxyal tour in September 2022, and William himself is uncomfortable with the access he has to Harry and Meghan. And he doesn’t see how or why people may think he’s in Meghan’s pocket?
It’s very clear that Scobie thinks of himself to be a consummate journalism professional, a neutral third-party whose only loyalty is to truth and fact. According to himself, he can report a Cambridge/Wales versus Sussex issue fairly, accurately, and evenly, but the way he describes certain events taking place tells us that part of his dislike for William is because William never gave Scobie the opportunity to prove it; William, or William’s team, saw Scobie getting closer to the Sussexes and nipped his “both sides of the fence” strategy in the bud. This, I suspect, is why he’s so offended when people accuse him of being close to Meghan and Harry - because by being so closely linked to the Sussexes, he lost preferential treatment from the Cambridges and that absolutely reflects poorly on him.
Lost access. Scobie is very transparent and very clear that he lost sources and access to Kensington Palace several times because of his “loyalty” to the Sussexes, most especially after Finding Freedom published:
Owing to a unique pool of sources and a refusal to follow the crowd, I quickly became a trusted confidante for many in and around the younger family--a true insider. But all that changed in late 2020 after the publication of my first book, Finding Freedom, about Harry and Meghan's whirlwind journey in, and out of, the House of Windsor...The fear of damaging revelations scared the family and angered powerful Palace operatives, and it also put a mark on my back...I'm still in the mix, but let's just say I'm no longer the journalist who some in the family, or the more royalist-leaning correspondents, are thrilled to see at engagements. Having moved away from playing the Palace game of give-and-take to maintain access, I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution.
While he’s mostly bitter that Finding Freedom cost him sources and affiliation, he also sees it as a badge of honor, arrogantly boasting:
I am now a perceived source of trouble for the institution. Why? Because I know--and share--too much. For four years, some of the most damaging in Windsor history, I witnessed the full scope of the deceptions, malice, and defensive posturing of an unstable family business and an institution in decline. I saw how far they would go to save their own skin, the deep corrosion at the heart of the royal establishment, and I've witnessed the human damage done because of it."
and
Parts of this book will burn my bridges for good. But to tell the full story, there’s no holding back. Not anymore. We’re in the endgame. (Isn’t this the same speech Ironman gives in Avengers: Endgame?)
The hypocrisy is unreal.
Overly sympathetic to the Sussexes. We all knew that Endgame would be clearly biased in favor of the Sussexes since that’s where Scobie has drawn battle lines, but the extent to which he gives Harry grace and sympathy is beyond astounding and, at times, beggars belief.
For instance, one of the constant lines throughout the book is how frequently Harry keeps trying to reach out to Charles and William to have “conversations.” In Scobie’s world, Harry is completely absolved of anything he may or may not have done to upset Charles and anger William, that the lack of relationship between Charles/William and Harry is completely on Charles and William because Harry is always communicating, always reaching out, always wants to talk, always available for a call. Scobie makes it clear that Harry (and Meghan) expect apologies and accountability. But where is Harry and Meghan taking accountability and making apologies for what they did? There’s a fundamental inability for any of them on “Team Sussex” to realize that if they truly desire a conversation and apologies, then they need to apologize first; doing so would make it clear to Charles and William that they’re serious about resolving these issues.
Except I think they know that. The way Scobie phrases some of this seems to hint that the Sussexes know being able to have this conversation means they need to take accountability for their own behavior/actions and apologize to Charles and William. But they won’t because they thrive on the attention and drama that making these demands every quarter brings them. It’s the only way they have been able to reliably and consistently stay in the news.
And one of the more infuriating comments Scobie makes is this one:
One is left to wonder if William of Anglesey or William the air ambulance pilot would have left his sibling out in the cold in the same way.
Why is the broken brotherhood all on William? Why is it exclusively related to William coming to terms with his status in the family? Why isn’t there equal accountability on Harry, who takes such pride and ownership in being a soldier, who’s talked about the guilt of having to leave my guys behind? If William of Anglesey or William the Air Ambulance Pilot wouldn’t leave Harry out in the cold, then Scobie needs to equally ask: Would Captain Harry Wales have abandoned his brother and left him behind?
Bias against William and Kate. We also knew that Endgame would be a smear job against William and Kate. Scobie doesn’t let us down. He delights in pointing out how awful William is to be thinking about a future without Charles (forgetting that Charles did the same thing to The Queen, and also when The Queen was much younger than Charles is now). He’s thrilled to paint William as a ruthless bully in the way he manages his staff and how his staff is equally ruthless in the way they engage/interact with other staffs, especially in communications and media relations.
What surprised me is that Scobie isn’t as venomous as he usually is in his coverage of her, which often is rooted in the relationship between Kate and Meghan. He does get his digs in, don’t get me wrong:
He calls her workshy and lazy without saying the words directly: “Where other senior royals are out and about several times a week…Kate has long maintained a smaller work schedule that helped her check off the required royal boxes while saving time for her roles as a mother and wife.”
He reinforces the “Carole is the master schemer” rumor: “Carole saw that the pretty and grounded Kate was ready to carry the family name further to the top…The Middleton strategy involved more than just aristocratic affectation–Carole calculatingly placed Kate right at the center of young Prince William’s world….Carole set things up, and Kate took it the rest of the way.”
He mentions the “plastic princess designed to breed” article.
He says that Kate’s Hold Still project was the same thing as Meghan’s Hubb Community cookbook. (On the surface they are similar, yes, but Meghan slapped her name on the cookbook and took credit for everything whereas Kate was involved with the Hold Still book from Day One with the initial contest and took credit only for the actual introduction she wrote, letting the community own the actual content.)
He brings up the unfriendliness with Meghan: “She spent more time talking about Meghan than talking to her…Kate has jokingly shivered when Meghan’s name has come up around her”.
And of course, it's not a smear job until the Rose rumors are addressed. Don't worry. They're here too.
There’s plenty more where this comes from, but Scobie’s overall portrayal of Kate is that he sees her as a victim to the palace machinery who survived on the basis of being willing to submit fully to the “palace personality makeover.” She has succeeded where Meghan, Diana, and Sarah failed because she was willing to be trained (why, Scobie claims, The Queen liked her) and she had William’s protection to keep the monarchy from corrupting her. It’s an interesting spin that I didn’t expect from Scobie, but he takes it too far with a metaphor that the Palace has stifled her individuality:
"Here's the thing about [the weeping blue cedar Kate planted at an event in 2019]: It's naturally slow-growing and requires adequate space for its sculptural branches and cascading needles. But if there is too much pruning, or the space around it is too restricted, the tree ends up taking on an odd shape and loses the character that made it so special in the first place."
Because in blaming it all on the Palace, Scobie conveniently leaves out any accountability for himself or the press in the way they treated, and have, at times, mocked Kate, such as:
Some journalists who have been approached by publishers to author biographies about the Princess of Wales have turned down the chance. 'I'd barely be able to do a chapter, let alone an entire book,' one joked to me. (Even so, a Kate book would sell like gangbusters. Missed opportunity if you ask me.)
and
[M]ainstream coverage of Kate in the British papers is overwhelmingly positive, often bordering on infantilizing the princess, with articles marveling at her ability to perform the simplest of tasks (think enthusiastic reporting about kicking a soccer ball or flipping a pancake or how amazing it is that she can assume a perfect 'princess pose' in photographs).
Scobie seems unable to realize that the reason Kate has retreated “further into” the palace machinery is because the press keeps pushing her into it. She has kept her individuality and her personality and her “Kate”-ness, but it’s reserved only for those close to her and only for the general public that genuinely cares for her. The “palace persona” that Scobie sees her in is the elevated version of herself she presents to the press. And why wouldn't she let them see who she really is? They mock her and belittle her any chance they get!
The hypocrisy, overall. It’s just exhausting. Scobie plays everyone against each other, sometimes even contradicting his own stories.
We can be ageist but not racist - discriminating against Lady Susan Hussey is okay because she’s eighty years old and that disqualifies her from public service.
It’s okay for Harry to complain but not William or Charles.
It’s okay for people to not know who the Earl and Countess of Wessex are but everyone in the whole damn world must know who Oprah is.
It’s okay for Charles to plan his future but not William.
It’s okay for Charles to own six properties but William can’t have three.
It’s okay for Harry to use the media to settle grievances, but not Charles.
It’s okay for Charles to show leadership, but not William.
It’s okay for the Dutch royals to let scholarly research on their role in the slave trade determine how, where, and when they apologize for their colonialism but the BRF needs to apologize and make reparations immediately.
It’s okay for Meghan to have help at home and prioritize family time, but not Kate.
It’s okay for Harry to cash in on Diana’s memory but not anyone else, and certainly not William.
It’s okay for the Queen to take lots of time off because she works a lot but not Kate, who doesn’t work because she has children. (Is raising children not work?)
It’s okay for the Queen to avoid talking to the media, but not Kate.
It’s okay for the Sussexes to have preferred reporters but not the Cambridges/Waleses.
It’s okay to tackle misinformation about Harry, not anyone else.
It’s okay for Charles to upstage the Queen/his parent but not for William to upstage the King/his parent.
It’s okay for Harry to blindside his family announcing things to the media first, but not anyone else.
Scobie and the Sussexes have no idea how actual business works.
So many times I thought “tell me you don’t know about the corporate world without telling me you don’t know about the corporate world.”
The biggest giveaway that they have no idea how businesses operate is this mutually-held idea that change must be immediate and must begin as soon as someone thinks of it. There’s no regard for policy, no regard for process, no regard for procedures, no regard for research, no regard for any kind of preparation to make it a lasting, effective success.
Here’s an example, from Scobie:
But it would be hasty to unreservedly believe that real change is on the horizon for the wider royal establishments just yet. In 2023, it was reported that 9.7 percent of employees in Buckingham Palace were from ethnic minority backgrounds (up from 9.6 percent the previous year) and Kensington Palace employed 16.3 percent (up from 13.6 percent). The numbers appear to be ticking up in the right direction, but a closer look at the senior staffers around royal family members reveal a predominantly white lineup (exclusively, in the case of communications team members and private secretaries at William and Kate's household). It depressingly shows that the majority of non-white employees are at junior levels or working in more service industry-type positions.
This reads like Scobie’s expectation is for the Palace to fire their existing teams and replace them exclusively with diversity hires - but even that isn’t an effective solution because everyone would just scream “it doesn’t mean anything! It’s just for the PR!” The kind of institutional change Scobie is demanding actually takes a lot of time to implement, more than the few days he thinks it should. They have to wait for vacancies to open up or, if they’re going to create a new position, then it’s even more complicated:
Where in your budget is the money coming from to be able to pay the new person their salary and benefits? What project isn’t going to happen? What program is going to get canceled?
What exactly are they going to do? If you’re taking X duties from Jane, then what is Jane going to do now?
Where are they going to sit? What kind of technology do they need? What kind of resources, access, passwords, keys?
What’s the priority for this staffing need? What aren’t you going to do because you’re going to do this hire instead? What position isn’t going to get filled? What project isn’t going to get done?
Should the palace be hiring more diversely? Yes, absolutely. But it’s going to take time. It’s not going to change very much in one year. But what can change in one year is the recruitment strategy behind hiring, and that’s something that Scobie could actually get answers on. Are they still recruiting from the usual places or have they diversified and branched out? Are they doing blind hiring (where they remove all the personally identifying information like race, gender, name, education)? Are they recruiting from the Commonwealth realms? And this is what someone like Scobie should be asking the BRF to uphold their accountability.
Here’s another example:
Naturally, as paid members of the team, household staff for each of the three offices look out for the royals they represent. This is where 'briefings' get complicated, because while the aides are all working to prop up the Crown, they owe nothing to the family members they don't report to.
Um…does Scobie not know that he’s described every single organization and every single job? Everyone at the company works to support the company but you only owe results to the people you report to. Does he not see this at his own magazines or has he freelanced for so long he doesn’t remember what a “real” job is like?
Family businesses. Harry, Meghan, and Scobie cannot see the firm as a business. They look at and perceive everything through the lens of ‘family.’ This is, probably, the biggest “lightbulb” moment I had in reading Endgame. Harry and Meghan don’t understand, or they don’t care to understand, that there’s a family side to the monarchy and that there’s a business side to the monarchy. Everything they have done, they’ve done through the family side, hoping to leverage their personal relationships for change and action, when it was really a matter for the business side.
And all of their problems with William, with the courtiers, with how things are done, is because they viewed the monarchy as “family first, family always” when everyone else understood, fundamentally, that there’s a time for family and a time for business. And what’s interesting is that William and Kate - forasmuch as they prioritize their own family (scaled back diaries and long breaks overlapping with the kids’ school holidays), they also prioritize the monarchy and the business side of it. They show up when it matters: they do the ceremonies, they do the walkabouts, they do the small talk, they promote the work and the people and the culture of Britain.
Here are some quotes from Scobie illustrating how he, and the Sussexes, think “family only”:
Over time, William increasingly complained about Meghan to aides and family members. He didn't like how opinionated she was, how she spoke to his staff, and how much of her Markle family dramas were in the press. 'William shifted away from acting like a brother and became more like someone only focused [on the Crown]," a source close to the Sussexes said.
and
Charles vanished into the sacred Crown's engulfing orbit, leaving William to face the royal family's new chapter and the institution's increasing demands without his brother close by, the one person in the world who can empathize with all that's in store for him.
and
During the days ahead, Harry and Meghan kept a low profile, praying the press wouldn't turn their attention to them but remain rightfully focused on the loss of a beloved monarch. 'There was an incredible sense of sadness,' said a family source. 'For them, the Queen was one of their last strong links to the family. She always made them feel welcome. Without her...it will never be the same.
And this is in addition to Harry expecting to keep the perks of monarchy as “just” a family member that I mentioned in the “bombshell” section. He really thought he could have his life, “career,” and family fully subsidized by the business profit because he’s the CEO’s son/grandson. He’s so gobsmacked in July 2020 to realize that not everyone sees the monarchy as “family first, family always” that it literally breaks him. All of his lawsuits and all of his fighting since then has been trying to force the BRF to remodel themselves into his vision of “family first, family always” so he can get his perks back without having to work another day in his life.
An important conversation on race gets lost.
I know that race and race relations can be painful to talk about, but this is incredibly important. I don’t want to wade in too deep into it because these are conversations that aren’t easy to have through screens.
The monarchy, the institution, needs to change to be more conscientious of the power dynamics at play between an aristocratic white family who made their money on the backs of labor, land, and servants and a fast-changing world demanding more and more accountability. Charles's endorsement of the research project that the University of Manchester and the Historical Royal Palaces is a good start, as Scobie also recognizes, but there needs to be more and they can't just wipe their hands off when the report gets published saying "We did our piece. What's next?" There needs to be more and I hope there is more.
Scobie makes a lot of good, important points in his discussion (like it's not enough for the BRF to remove offensive pieces of art or contextualize their collections and they can't hold these discussions behind closed doors and that the public/the Commonwealth realms deserve to have a say in what happens next). But he also makes a few points that seem to indicate he doesn’t fully understand just how complicated race relations are, particularly when it comes to their intersection with politics. Scobie seems to think that the royal family, including the monarch (The Queen at the time), should disregard the “don’t get involved in politics” principle on a case-by-case basis to be able to speak out and support communities suffering injustice and inequality. It’s a fine line to tow; at what point is something “worthy” enough of the royal family to speak out? And how is something judged “worthier” than another to warrant royal intervention? And why has the press nominated themselves to judge that line, instead of, you know, the actual public the monarchy serves?
Probably the most disappointing thing about this section is how misplaced it feels in comparison to the overall book and message. 90% of the book is about media relations; Scobie's relationships with communications staffers, the relationship the palace has with the media, the dynamics at play between aides, principals, and the media. And then there’s a chapter on race. It's as misfitting as the chapter on Andrew (which largely just serves only to let Scobie remind everyone of the Epstein affiliations because Charles seems to be sweeping it under the rug). And that is horrific for Scobie to do; the palace's inability, or unwillingness, to recognize their role in a near-global racial disparity should not, cannot, and must not be equivalent to Andrew's scandals.
Purely from an editorial standpoint, this chapter would have been much stronger, much more compelling, and probably more thought-provoking if it was a standalone essay or part of a larger work that specifically examined racial and ethnic diversity in modern institutions of power or modern monarchies. I think Scobie shoots himself in the foot a little if his goal is to have a conversation and introduce reform by burying it in a book about media and communications.
I do hope Scobie considers writing more on this. In fact, I think if he did do a larger and more critical piece about diversity, he might be able to earn back some of the professional credit he’s lost by becoming so closely affiliated with the Sussexes.
Rage against the machine and the media
(It kind of goes off the rails here. Apologies in advance.)
Royal rota system. So there are two rota/pool systems. One is for broadcast/television reporters. One is for the newspaper/print reporters. “Royal rota” as it’s used in the royal-watching community popularly refers to the newspaper pool.
The rota is a system where members take turns reporting back to the larger group all the information (and gossip - Scobie makes it very clear that the royal reporters absolutely engage in gossip as much as we do) from royal engagements where open coverage isn’t possible or when a larger group isn’t necessary (i.e., “boring”). The smaller rota pool is one print reporter, one television camera/broadcaster, a couple of photographers, and someone from the Press Association. This smaller group travels “inside” with the royal while everyone else waits outside in a designated press pen for arrivals and departures.
There are 10 print publications that participate in the rota. Only established British national papers are allowed. There have been occasional exceptions for the London Evening Standard and Hello. No Commonwealth publications, no foreign publications (albeit one exception), and no digital publications/media sites are permitted to join.
The exception to the “no foreign publications” rule is US media. Americans are not officially part of the rota but in about 2010ish, the rota invited two US-based reporters (Scobie and one other person) to unofficially join the rota on a honorary basis. They were given access to the pool reporting notes and could join the rota’s press pen at engagements, which had priority access. This changed in 2017 with Meghan’s arrival, because with Meghan came more US media. The new American reporters complained to the rota’s oversight officials on grounds of fairness (i.e., Scobie and the other guy were getting more information and more access than all the other Americans) and the decision was made to take them off the rota.
And just who made that decision? Who’s in charge of the rota? Drumroll please…
The Daily Mail. Rebecca English, specifically.
But how it comes across in the book is that Scobie believes, bitterly and scornfully, that he was demoted from the rota because of his closeness to the Sussexes, and specifically Meghan. It really isn’t looking good for his denial that he treats Meghan “objectively.” He says that English told him he was pulled from the rota because he had become, largely, an American television news reporter and in classic Sussex whataboutism, Scobie says she “conveniently ignor[ed] my role as royal editor for Harper’s Bazaar.” Well, Scobie, you seem to be conveniently ignoring that Harper’s Bazaar is an American publication which further disqualifies you. That’s quite the entitlement.
The rota is overseen by the News Media Association. They appoint press “captains” - there’s two, one for the everyday and one for overseas tours - who manage assignments, the rotation, and ensures that everyone is getting the reports. Rebecca English has been the captain for thirteen years, which Scobie sees as a “monopoly.” Valentine Low, of The Times, is the overseas tour captain.
And that, to me, sheds a little bit more light on Harry’s vendetta against The Daily Mail. He hates that they “control” the rota and how firmly enmeshed the rota (i.e. The Daily Mail, in Harry’s mind) is with Palace operations. Harry says in Spare (which Scobie helpfully reproduces): “I'd had it with the royal rota, both the individuals and the system, which was more outdated than the horse and cart...It discouraged fair competition, engendered cronyism, and encouraged a small mob of hacks to feel entitled.”
Scobie feels the same way, and while he’s a bit more polite about it, he is equally as bitter:
Restricted access for Commonwealth outlets, digital news organizations, or US publications (the latter being relevant to a newly installed American duchess in the House of Windsor) didn't make much sense to man of us. With the support of two senior Palace aides, I wrote a letter to relevant senior individuals at Buckingham palace about why it was important to have an additional position in the rota--one that could at least be shared by the aforementioned groups. Harry, I was told, was also keen to back the effort. But it quickly hit a dead end. Rather than decide themselves, palace aides called in [Rebecca] English and The Times' royal correspondent Valentine Low, the rota's overseas tour captain (who was admittedly far less bothered about petty politics and mostly attempted to be fair in this less-involved role), for a meeting. English told them that letting 'others' in would be unacceptable. 'To be honest the rota is just a headache none of us want to deal with. It's easier to just leave it as it is,' a senior courtier said with a shrug over coffee with me. Yet another case of institutional fear and blinkered acceptance of the status quo when it comes to the media.
Scobie’s entire focus is on restoring his access to the rota. It’s not unlike Harry’s entire focus of media reform being on positive press coverage.
Speaking of Harry, Scobie immediately drops another revelation, one that directly played into Megxit:
Harry and Meghan, who were having their own conversations about the same issue, were then told that if they wanted to break away from the rota system and give other journalists access to their work, they would have to foot the bill for their own engagements. The list for their reasons to leave was getting longer by the month.
Concern about cronyism, outdated tools because ‘status quo’, and a refusal to modernize are legitimate complaints, absolutely. It would be far more beneficial if the rota system was overhauled completely to reflect today’s diverse media environment. (Not to mention, adding some spots for Commonwealth and realm publications could very well have an impact on the kind of coverage being reported back home.) But once again, Harry’s entitlement leaps off the page here.
He is such a penny-pincher that he couldn’t put up his own money to institute the kind of change he wanted to see. It wasn’t his responsibility, you see. His job is to make demands, but it’s up to everyone else around him to do the actual work, to pay for his ideas, to implement the change he desires. And circling back to the “Harry has no idea how a business works” theme from earlier, this betrays what Harry thinks “business” or “work” is. Harry thinks “work” is just showing up at the appointed time, reading the provided script, sharing a genius idea or two, shaking hands, and returns in 3 months expecting to see 10 years of progress on his genius idea so he can take all the credit. Harry absolutely is not capable of comprehending exactly how much happens behind the scenes to make his idea reality. It’s no wonder why Invictus Games is sinking like the Titanic. It’s no wonder why Archewell has plateaued. No one is interested in buffing up Harry’s ego anymore. No one is interested in implementing his ideas because he refuses to help or contribute.
But you know who does? William. William has an idea or William wants to see a change, William puts his head down and does the work to recruit the people, give direction, and find the funding. When the press start spreading lies or misinformation, William doesn't just sit there and complain at people to protect him. He uses his own resources to fix the problem, which Scobie (and Harry) perceive as the problem: William as heir has more power than Harry does to protect his wife. That's not what's happening. What's happening is that William doesn't take 'no' for an answer and he works the business till he gets what he wants. Harry gets told 'no' and he tries to manipulate the family to get what he wants...but the family can't do anything.
At the end of the day, it has nothing to do with power, or money, or status, or resources, and what William has that Harry doesn't. It’s that the Cambridges/Waleses are willing and able to do the work themselves. They put their money where their mouth is while Harry and Meghan prefer to buy knockoff athletic competitions and ice cream trucks that they can slap their name on and reap glory.
And Harry is so short-sighted. There would have been absolutely zero harm in abandoning the royal rota for one week or one month, paying out of pocket for press coverage with the “specialist media”, “grassroots media organizations and young, emerging journalists” and seeing what happened? If the experiment failed, then that gives him legitimate grounds to complain that the rota blacklisted him and more people would be sympathetic to the cause. But if the experiment was a success? Oh, man, it would’ve been the modern equivalent to Lord Altrincham’s recommendations to The Queen and Harry could have coasted on that for the rest of his life. Well, woulda, coulda, shoulda. Now William will be the one to reform the press when the time comes, all because Harry freaked out at “do it yourself.”
(Which is pretty ironic, if you ask me. He and Meghan are so desperate for this ‘changemaker’ label yet when they were presented with the opportunity to do just that–albeit at their own expense–they bailed. How dare you -- spend my money on other people?! Meghan couldn’t have clutched Diana’s pearls any tighter.)
Palace relationships. I’ve said it in a few other places here, but Scobie’s book is largely about the relationships between the palaces and the media. There’s nothing really new here and it’s mostly an opportunity for Scobie to brag about how close he is to certain people and how much access he has for his reporting.
Scobie absolutely hates the team at Kensington Palace and the deeper into the book you read, the more it becomes apparent that he isn’t targeting William and Kate as much as he’s targeting the communications team that works for them. Christian Jones and Jason Knauf, to be more specific. Scobie doesn’t like how readily they appeared to do William’s bidding, how fiercely the palace protected them when Harry (and Scobie, remember, he likes to put himself in the middle of everything) called it out, and how freely they seemed to work the press for amiable coverage of William and Kate:
My proof of Kensington Palace's schemes at work wasn't just in the newspaper coverage. I also had close working relationships with Buckingham Palace aides and people on Harry and Meghan's team. Back in 2019, one of the Sussexes' main communication aides felt strongly that William's staff, led by press secretary Christian Jones, crossed a line with the mental health stories. One of the couple's team called me the moment the 'William's concerns for Harry' front pages dropped. 'It's pretty disgusting that they would pull out the mental health card for this...None of them care for his health,' the aide said. As Harry later shared, 'They were happy to lie to protect my brother. They were never willing to tell the truth to protect us.'
This wasn't Christian Jones's first rodeo, and he was just one of many at Kensington Palace who engaged in these tactics. William's private secretary Simon Case and communications secretary-turned-senior-advisor Jason Knauf also shared details with preferred reporters to quell rumors about the broken relationship between the Cambridges and the Sussexes. When William and Kate went to see Harry and Meghan after the birth of Archie, Jones made calls to a Mirror reporter and me to share an exclusive--the couple had just minutes ago stopped by for a special visit. 'It's a great story that shows that the the relationship isn't as bad as everyone makes out,' he said. 'It was really sweet.' What he failed to mention, as I later found out from Sussex sources, was that the couple's lukewarm drive-by lasted less than twenty minutes.
(Also, in what universe do the parents of a newborn baby want visitors and guests to stay for hours on end? Twenty minutes to check in on the new parents, deliver some food or a gift, and give the baby a cuddle sounds like an appropriate amount of time for visitors to be there.)
Scobie further goes on to describe how he thinks it’s hypocritical of William to be so manipulative and treacherous in how he uses the media to improve his reputation, particularly at Harry’s expense, because this is exactly what Charles and Camilla did to him and he had hated it. Scobie’s overall message seems to be that the more power William gets, the less “William” he is and the more “Palace” he becomes (similar to the argument he makes of Kate), and the more “Palace” he becomes, the more ruthless his communications team gets.
I mean, Scobie even goes so far as to say that William has gone so far into the Palace machinery that he's abandoned and discredited his mother in accordance with the preferred script:
The differences in the brothers' statements are stark. Both expressed understandable outrage over Bashir's duplicity and the BBC's moral and professional failures. But while Harry stopped to acknowledge and honor Diana's strengths, despite the whole faisco, William reinforced the counternarrative that his mother was paranoid at the time. While there is no duobt that William's rebuke came from a place of love, sources sexplained he was also keen to toe the company line without any concessions to what his mother said during the interview itself. To write his statement, William turned to a number of aides within the royal household, including former private secretary Simon Case, who had left a month earlier for his new role as cabinet secretary for then prime minister Boris Johnson. He embraced the institution's version that, because Diana was duped, the interview was null and void as a result--even if wha she said was completely in line with what she had previously expressed in Morton's book. By disparaging Bashir's trick and by extension the entire interview, William ended up discrediting a large part of his mother's own story. To make his points, he did not remind the public that his mother was candid and truthful, despite Bashir's dirty work, but, instead, maintaned the royal version that she was emotionally fragile and thus easily manipulated, and therefore her claims are not to be trusted.
Or maybe, Scobie, this is William’s own personal experience and recollection of his own mother. It’s well known that William had a very different relationship with Diana than Harry did, such that he already understood at the tender age of fourteen, just how complicated her life was and how complex a person was. And, t was recently revealed that William did actual work to understand who his mother actually was as a person, warts and all. He spoke with his family and with her friends and came to know Diana The Person, whereas Harry has only entrenched himself in his twelve-year-old “My mummy is better than yours” fantasy.
Both versions of Diana – William’s reality that she was a complicated and complex person and Harry’s reality that she was a beloved idol – can be true. But to dismiss William’s truth as “Palace bullshit” because it doesn’t match the popular narrative as told by Harry is, frankly, poppycock.
Welp, that was a huge train derailment. Getting back to the point: Scobie doesn’t like Jones because of Jones’s relationship with Wootton and his readiness to speak William’s truth at Harry’s expense. (Which is also hypocritical because Scobie spends all of Endgame speaking Harry’s truth at William’s expense.) And Scobie thinks it is unethical for Jones to be openly friendly with Wootton.
But here’s the catch. When he was being interviewed for the job in 2019, Jones disclosed his friendship and working relationship to both Simon Case and William. Yet William still hired him anyway. And with that little nugget, it becomes very clear very quickly what one of Harry’s issues is: he’s butthurt he didn’t get to know of the pre-existing relationship between Jones and Wootton and wasn’t asked to weigh in on whether he should be hired.
Now, for Knauf. Well, I’ll let Scobie tell you himself how much he hates him.
Knauf continued to work in his role as chief executive of William and Kate's foundation for a few more months before stepping down to join the board of the foundation for William's Earthshot Prize. As a loyal aide, he stuck by William through it all, from helping brief the press long after his communications role ended, leading the bullying allegations against Meghan, and joining forces with the Mail in court. Unsurprisingly, a year later, King Charles included him on his list of those to receive the honorable title of lieutenant of the Royal Victorian Order for his 'personal service to the monarchy.' Notably, this high honor is chosen by the royal family and not the government, and it was his pal the Prince of Wales who performed the investiture on May 10, 2023, at Windsor Castle. Knauf--a man who went above and beyond to protect the royal family's relationship with a British tabloid--emerged from this fiasco as a titled hero, the personification of duty above all. His dangerous dalliance with the media in the courtroom is all part of a job description you won't find on his LinkedIn profile and a soon-to-be forgotten footnote in a celebrated career.
Scobie’s angry that Knauf waded in on Meghan’s copyright lawsuit with the Daily Mail. After all, he didn’t have to come forward and there was no official request for his evidence or any palace evidence in her lawsuit. But he did, because “it was [William’s] opportunity to watch the institution strike back after Harry and Meghan went so public with private details about the Firm.”
So everything goes back to the all-powerful William and his newfound power to use the palace’s relationship with friendly press to suppress, control, and humiliate others.
Paradigm Shift. After the discussion on the royal rota, probably the most fascinating part of Scobie’s criticism of the media is something he glosses over: the paradigm shift as a result of the information revolution that changed palace strategies with public relations and communications. In the span of about 50 years, the BRF went from one centralized Palace staff to three companies of Palace staff. They went from one single royal brand using ten newspapers to nine competing royal brands using national newspapers, foreign publications, digital media, and special interest groups and two ghosts (Diana and The Queen) whose legacies shape the 21st century.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather read that book than 300+ pages of background for Harry’s lawsuits.
Rehabilitating Harry. Scobie reveals the plan for how to rehabilitate Harry if/when the time comes: it's Operation PB, Mark Bolland's creation to rehabilitate Camilla for the public to (eventually) accept her as Charles's Queen.
A parting gift for making it all the way through: my very favorite quote.
Just five years ago, the thought of the Windsors becoming equal citizens without privileged status seemed unreal to most, but now that future doesn't seem as far-fetched. Harry and Meghan have already fled to real life, and, by the looks of it, they're not hurting for either money or status.
You sure about that, Scobie? You sure that Harry and Meghan aren’t hurting of money or status? Harry just flew 20 hours round-trip for a 12-minute meeting with his father to make sure his inheritance was still solid after offending everyone and burning all the bridges.
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January 2024 CPNs 🍭🍬🍪
starting off the year strong with some good old candies that puts a smile on our faces. i have to say that this month has some challenges because tho we have sweets, there were some outside voices that affected some of us in a negative way. being a bxg is a continuous learning process, and i hope all of us get stronger and learn that xz and wyb will always be the priority. we will respect them. we will be kind to them. and i guess that’s the good thing about monthly recaps like this, a reminder that bxgs live the good life! 🫶🏼
now let’s review this lovely month… ⬇️⬇️⬇️
• New year’s eve candy goodness
• Additional NYE clowning, one of the set props for WYB’s stage, is a clock. It’s not set as 10:05 in an obvious way, but if you turn it just right you will see the 10:05. Most likely a coincidence but who knows.
• ZZ & WYB featured in Elle Japan
• 1/2 yibo official weibo video post
• Probably a coincidence but in WYB’s interview he mentioned that one of his favorite Actors is Sean Penn. Understandable. However people are screaming cause “Sean” is also XZ’s first name. lol. Was this an additional point to like the actor? 😂
• 1/4: Yibo cat photo cpns
• XiaoWangZi = Little Prince
• 1/6/23, photos onset of ZZ’s new drama went on HS. to be expected, cause it’s in hengdian and anything related to ZZ’s project is bound to get some paparazzi interested. there was also some talk that the project might have shared it intentionally to stop the malicious rumors that the drama wasn’t actually filming. anyway, the CPN in all this is that a new CP was born 🥹🥹🥹🥹
baili is mostly paired with shiying — who is a favored person to be shipped with xieyun. so it seems like baili doesn’t have his one & only. so maybe zanghai can be that person. and both their stories include court politics so it’s perfect.
• The Boys & their late night city adventures
• ZZ & WYB + Mimi the Cat
• A new/old snippet from their thailand fanmeet rehearsal where they wanted to hear each other’s voice on their earphones
• WYB smiling cause he heard XZ’s sample/demo for the song tomorrow will be better during recording
• 1/11 zsww rumor : cutting their hair
• 1/12 same light and shadow in studio post caption & another wedding outfit
• THEM WITH A KID 🥹🥹🥹 it’s giving suo-er vibes!
• Weibo Night recap & candies
• yibo is seat #23 and then xzs posts their video at 00:23. what a coincidence 👀
• same brand heurueh bits
• In his SINA interview for Weibo night, he was asked who he prefers to go with during vacations and he answers friends. but before saying that he stuttered. you all know how we are with XZ and his stutter, meaning he is changing his answer or is a bit nervous cause the true answer is revealing. Tell us, who do you really wanna go on vacation with? 😏
• The boys being tourism ambassadors of their hometown which led to them being featured in a newspaper
• A fansite posted a series of photos showing how XZ signed the backdrop for Weibo Night. It clearly shows how he looks at WYB’s signature and the decides to sign right next to it. There are videos too that show this much better. I guess this one depends on people’s interpretation. I think those who are anti cpf will see this as a coincidence and say that XZ just signed randomly on the side cause the other spaces already look crowded. But then again, you can’t deny that he saw WYB’s signature. He knows what it looks like. They both spent so much time signing stuff together during CQL promotion so it’s safe to say that he recognized it. If they are sworn enemies like some people love to imply, why would he sign near WYB’s? This is pretty clear to me, it’s his way of being right next to WYB. 🫶🏼
Here is a closer one posted by someone who attended, you can see how close they are.
• an assistant in weibo night who took care of them both & who seems to be their friend
• matching lawsuits of anti fans
• both of them showing up at loreal annual meeting to give their messages
• our boys love to stay hydrated! 💦💦💦
• a video from SDC where the OP said WYB’s reaction was due to their wangxiao headbands. I know there are a lot of toxicity and fanwar that happened because of SDC fan support and there is some narrative from his so/os that WYB hates us. so/os are free to hate on us but i don’t think it’s ever right to project that onto WYB who is like the most accepting person. let the fan wars be between the fans, don’t bring WYB into it and claim stuff that will put him in a negative light.
• mystery tennis photo where people clown that he could be with xz. but i personally think he is just with some friends, but that doesn’t take away the possibility that he plays with xz 🎾
• GQ caption similarities and sexy backs - and i think the biggest takeaway from this whole GQ drama is that fans should remain rational and we should trust the boys and their decision. I have talked about it initially here, but that was more of calling out fan etiquette than the cpn implications. some bxgs really fell into the brainwashing package of solos and i wanna discuss that here cause this fandom is not only about candies but being firm in our belief. you had shrimps saying wyb is the enemy cause he is all cozied up with gq, and some bxgs bought that. they were “disappointed” with wyb and made up stuff about him doing things against his will. then the same people were slapped in the face when yibo continued to work with him for his album which is about as personal as it gets. only a few respected wyb’s decision and trusted in him & xz. motos are saying gq will never work with someone like xz cause he is the enemy, and that’s why wyb is comfortable with rocco and team. which is proven to be wrong now cause he is working with them. who knows, they may even do a full feature for LOCH. this is a lesson to bxgs, do not rely on solo sob stories to make sense of zz and wyb cause they only see one side of the story. they were always okay with GQ. Maybe GG was hurt at some point but he moved on and so should the fans. i just hate the feeling that ZZ & WYB were so happy with the collabs they did with GQ, in the meantime, BXGs who are supposed to understand them the most were nowhere to be found. we should do better next time.
there are serious efforts out there to make us turn against one of them, and use cpfs as anti minions, so we should be more careful.
• BJYX and Tennis 🎾🎾🎾
• Their Ordinary Life - a translation of a post made about their lives as normal people, and riddled with known CPNs.
• the connection between the tod’s strap included in xzs 2024 media gift box and wyb’s alleged gucci strap accessory in SDC 5
• early cpf story
• new clue from a drawing of a cake 🎂
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You knew this was coming... what are your fave Chenford scenes? (Same deal, 1 per season, and only 1 honorable mention allowed!). Good luuuuuuck 😘
I did. I knew it was coming, and I can't even yell at you for the evil question because I'm the one who started it. Although actually, once I got started, it didn't take me that long. Somehow this one was easier than choosing my favorite episodes.
Season 1
I gotta go with the same scene you chose here, and that's the 1x20 separated-by-a-wall scene. It's intense, it's emotional, it's vulnerable, and it really illustrates how far these two have come in just six months. Despite the literal and metaphorical wall between them in this scene, it's a lot less of a barrier than it was on day one.
Honorable mention
I've always had such a soft spot for the scene in 1x13 with Tim and Lucy and the woman with the embryos. It's the way he says "But doing this? It won't put your marriage back together, okay? Nothing will. But you will come to hate yourself if you go through with this." Every time, I flash back to 1x07 and Lucy saying "I came here to remind you that you'll regret helping her. Because it's not gonna change her. But it'll sure as hell change you." And just... THE GROWTH! Look at this man learning from his own experiences and using that to talk this woman down. It's such an underrated moment and I love it so much.
Season 2
This season was SO HARD because there are SO MANY good chenford scenes. But truthfully, the end of 2x12 has always been my favorite. In just this one scene we see Lucy struggling with her recovery, we see Tim struggling to find a way to support her through her recovery, and then we see him finding the exact words she needs to hear and ultimately pulling a smile and an almost-laugh out of her despite the tears in her eyes. They're both so raw and vulnerable and I'm pretty sure this is my favorite chenford scene of all time.
Honorable mention
It was a close call here between the hospital scene in 2x11 and the ending of 2x02, but ultimately I have to go with the latter. I mean... she called Isabel to ask about his learning style??? And then she stayed up all night to record a whole ass audio book for him??? And then she helps him see it as a strength??? This man has ALWAYS been worth the effort for her and he's only just barely beginning to comprehend that.
Season 3
Season 2 was so hard to narrow down and now here I am in season 3 with the opposite problem. Not that I dislike season 3. I'm just realizing that my favorite chenford scenes aren't really in this season. I guess I gotta go with the wedding scene in 3x14 because like, excuse me you two, you are blatantly checking each other out and you are IN PUBLIC. Absolutely zero subtlety, just elevator eyes and sass and so much flirting.
Honorable mention
I debated between two parking garage scenes here... the end of 3x01 and the end of 3x09. Ultimately I'm going with the end of 3x01, because we all know Tim will go above and beyond his job description to help her and protect her, even if he refuses to take credit for it. And this scene really just shows that she's always been worth the effort for him as well.
Season 4
Probably to no one's surprise, it's the hug in 4x09. Hands down. The vulnerability on display here breaks my heart every time. It's the first time we see Tim really, truly allowing himself to fall apart. I will never be over the way he just sinks into her and lets her hold him together. This is my favorite of their hugs, and seeing the tears in Tim's eyes brings tears to my eyes every single time.
Honorable mention
I waffled back and forth for quite a while between the hug in 4x01 and the kiss in 4x22, but ultimately I had to go with the kiss because it's just such a great scene for so many reasons. I mean, THE KISS, obviously. But also, the awkwardness beforehand, and Tim being so adorably proud of himself, and the absolute disaster they both are in the aftermath. Tim's flustered "You know what? I don't have anything," is one of his best lines ever. And don't even get me started on him standing in the hallway as all the feelings slam into him at once. SO. GOOD.
Season 5
Picking right up from that honorable mention, I gotta go with the hand hold/airplane kiss scene from 5x01 as my favorite (and yes, I'm counting that all as one scene because it's continuous even though I'm sure it was filmed separately). From Tim "if your head isn't 100% in the game it'll get you killed" Bradford reaching up to grab her hand in a way that is definitely breaking character to their completely unnecessary (and very hot) airplane bathroom kiss that I have watched on repeat approximately 12984367 times. These two protect and ground each other in a way no one else can, no matter the situation.
Honorable mention
I... don't know. There are so many. I'm honestly so torn between the scenes in 5x19, 5x20, and 5x21 because there's so much emotion. Clearly I have a thing for moments of vulnerability, and we see those in spades here with Tim's shooting, and then the fear after the shoutout in 5x21 and the complex emotions associated with Lucy working undercover. 5x20 and 5x21 especially are really just digging up so much of Tim's trauma and I think it's pretty clear this is something they're both afraid to face head on. That's not really an answer. Can we count that as an answer?
Actually no, now that I've looked through the gifs I have a real answer. It's the end of 5x21. There's something just so human about Tim searching for meaning in what he went through with Isabel. And the way he hugs her with his hand on her neck gets me every time.
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