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#obi wan joins the circus
adhd-coyote · 24 days
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@killjoypolitics asked about my Acrobat Obi-Wan au for the ask game!
The acrobat was… well, beautiful was the only word Cody could find to describe him. And yet it still felt like beautiful was an understatement. His hair, ginger turned to fire by the lighting, had been neat at the start of the performance, but was now mussed, falling into his face. His uniform, light blue with golden embroidery, left very little to the imagination, despite the fact that it covered all but his arms, feet, and head. To say nothing of his performance. The man moved through the air like he had been born there, twirling and twisting in ways Cody hadn’t even seen Jedi do. And hells, the acrobat was smiling, no trace of fear on his face as he tumbled down with nothing but the hard ground to catch him. He laughed as he did a particularly twisty flip, the sound echoing through the tent and making Cody ache to hear it again. The acrobat spun, caught himself on a rung with his legs, and swung upwards, arm outstretched. His swing reached its peak, and he looked up, looked at Cody, met his eyes, and suddenly Cody was drowning in blueblueblue. Blue like water, like the light of a blaster bolt. Blue like the sky this man seemed to feel so at home in. The acrobat's smile softened, his hand turning palm up, like he was waiting for someone to take it. Then his momentum fell, and he was twisting away, and suddenly Cody remembered how to breathe.
This is an au where Obi-Wan never rejoined the Order after Melida/Daan and joined a circus! Cody gets the opportunity to go to one of his shows during the war and falls head over heels when he sees him perform. Similarly, Obi-Wan immediately develops a crush on the pretty trooper who feels like sunshine in the Force. Both of them are adorable <3
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mtridactyla · 7 months
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mutual 1: gonna get high and send neil gaiman asks
mutual 2: now see him fabulous
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mutual 3: (bad faith anon ask) (the entire text of dante's inferno, untagged with no readmore)
mutual 4: (this post contains filtered content)
mutual 5: DANTE NUKE?
mutual 6: i know she pegs him
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mutual 7: six paragraphs of propaganda for a poll bracket that will end up redoing that matchup anyway
mutual 8: dream blunt rotation
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mutual 9: i need to make him choke on my strap god
mutual 10: (extremely personal vent post about all the ways their life sucks right now)
mutual 11: should i quit my job to join the circus (poll, yes is sweeping by 97%)
mutual 12: (post about bandom drama for a group you couldn't name the lead singer of with a gun to your head)
mutual 13: beatles rpf is okay as long as it's only about the dead ones
mutual 14: i have a pipe bomb for every comic writer that has ever misinterpreted my favorite character
mutual 15: here's my favorite copypasta written as if yoda is saying it
mutual 16: read spiderman 2099 it will not have adverse effects on you
mutual 17: im so drunk i love you guys
mutual 18: obi wan was 25 in the phantom menace. he should have been at the club
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blackkatmagic · 11 months
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Xanatos/Cody - Love at 1st Snark
“Oh, stars and stupid little birds,” Obi-Wan says, entirely exasperated. “Why did it have to be you?”
Cody raises his head from where he’s been trying to chew through the gag. Anything that can get his general sounding like that promises to be entertaining, to say the least.
“It’s pronounced thank you, little brother,” a posh-sounding voice—no Coruscanti accent, but something more liquid, a lot less Core, which is interesting—says, precisely aimed to cause maximum irritation. “And I take payment in credits or peggats, whichever you have on you at the moment.”
“I'm naked,” Obi-Wan says, offended. “Clearly I don’t have any credits, Xanatos—”
“A shame. I suppose I’ll have to leave you to Hondo, then.” Steps sail past Obi-Wan’s cell, and there's a curse, the sound of struggling, but they don’t turn back. Cody raises a brow, and a moment later the fancy bastard who matches the voice sweeps around to the door of his cell, raises a lightsaber with a gleaming white blade, and brings it down sharply. The door thumps down flat, and Xanatos steps over it, then sweeps a look over Cody, brows rising.
“Well hello,” he says. He purrs, and Cody levels a brow right back. It makes Xanatos grin, sauntering into the cell.
“He doesn’t have any credits either, Xanatos!” Obi-Wan calls from the other cell, annoyed.
“For him I’ll make an exception, and rescue him out of the goodness of my heart,” Xanatos calls back, smirking at the sound of offense it gets him. Sinking down to one knee, he pulls a very nice knife from his sleeve, then leans in to cut through Cody's gag, and then says, “You will be repaying my altruism, I presume. You don’t seem as rude as Obi-Wan.”
Cody doesn’t laugh, just leans to the side so he can spit the gag out, then says, “Of course. Wouldn’t want anyone’s altruism to be without some kind of benefit, right?”
“Obi-Wan!” Hondo says, loudly and delightedly, from the next cell. “My friend, you seem to be in a bind! Perhaps this old pirate can help you out?”
“If my choices are you or him, you’d be my first choice every time, Captain,” Obi-Wan says sincerely.
Xanatos rolls his eyes, moving to deactivate Cody's binders. “I don’t know why I bother,” he says. “This whole family is a nightmare. I should have run away when I was fifteen and joined a circus.”
“You’d make a beautiful clown,” Cody tells him gravely, and surprise washes over his face for an instant before he laughs.
“Thank you, I like to think so too.” Getting a hand under Cody's arm, he tugs him to his feet, then asks, “Every limb still attached?”
“All the important ones,” Cody says mildly. “Commander Cody, thanks for the save.”
It gets him a lazy smile, full of intent. “Xanatos, with the 501st, but I think you can call me whatever you like.”
If this is the Jedi Rex has been refusing to introduce Cody to, Cody's going to have to turn Rex upside down and dunk his head in dye or something. “Yeah? That include—?”
“Cody. You don’t even know where he’s been.”
“Sorry, General,” Cody says, not sorry at all. When Xanatos sweeps his fur-trimmed cloak off and offers it, he takes it with dignity, slinging it around his shoulders.
“Well now,” Xanatos says, and that smirk is an invitation. “That’s quite the look, Commander. Makes me want to lay you down in front of a roaring fireplace—”
“Xanatos.”
“I think if we keep scandalizing the general, he might have a coronary,” Cody says gravely. “Be a shame to rob Hondo of his company.”
“You’re right, of course.” Xanatos offers Cody his arm, and, wholly amused, Cody takes it like he’s a senator at a fancy gala. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“I'm going to toss you out an airlock,” Obi-Wan says crossly, limping down the corridor to join them. Hondo has one of Obi-Wan’s arms pulled over his shoulder, and his hat is askew. “You’d better not have dragged Feemor along—”
“Oh no, my dear padawan brother,” Xanatos says airily. “I brought Qui-Gon.”
Obi-Wan blanches, at in the same moment, something distant explodes, shaking the whole base.
“Time to run,” Xanatos advises Cody, and takes off, hauling Cody right along with him.
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fionajames · 5 months
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circus au headcanons
A/N: Hey lovelies, hope your all fantastic! Have some circus au headcanons! Please send requests, I'm desperate. Please!
 Jedi Caravan:
Yoda, ringmaster: short man with long green and white hair, long green and white beard, green eyes and light skin.
Mace, second in command: tall man with brown skin, amber eyes, bald.
Shaak: tall woman with rosey skin, white birthmarks that look markings, long blue and white hair, yellow eyes. Aunt or some decent relation of Ahsoka.
Kit: man with long, afro green hair, dark eyes, dark skin.
Ki-Adi: man with light skin, blue eyes, bald.
104th Caravan
Plo: man with dark skin, short black hair, amber eyes.
Wolffe: boy with short black hair, one brown eye one robotic grey eye, tan skin.
Sinker: boy with short black hair, brown eyes, tan skin.
Comet: boy with short black hair, brown eyes, tan skin.
Boost: boy with short black hair, brown eyes, tan skin.
212th Caravan
Obi-Wan: man with ginger hair, ginger beard, light freckled skin, blue eyes
Cody: boy with short black hair, brown eyes, tan skin, scar on forehead
Waxer: usual appearance (i forgot)
Boil: usual appearance (i forgot)
Trapper: boy with short black hair, brown eyes, tan skin.
501st Caravan
Anakin: boy with medium length brown hair, blue eyes, light skin, scar over right eye.
Ahsoka: girl with orangey-tan skin, cream marking-like birthmarks, blue eyes, braided blue and white hair
Rex: boy with blonde buzzcut, tan skin, brown eyes
Jesse: boy with brown eyes, tan skin, bald
Fives: boy with brown eyes, tan skin, short black hair
Echo: boy with brown eyes, tan skin, short black hair
Tup: boy with brown eyes, tan skin, long black hair
Hardcase: boy with brown eyes, tan skin, bald
Members of other Caravans (only a few, doesn’t include all members.)
Depa: woman with long brown hair, brown eyes, olive skin
Caleb: boy with short brown hair, brown eyes, light skin
Cal: boy with scruffy ginger hair, blue eyes, light freckled skin
Jaro: man with short purple hair, dark skin, purple eyes
Barris: girl with long braided black hair, charcoal skin, green eyes, black freckles
Luminara: woman with short black hair, charcoal skin, green eyes, black freckles
THOSE ARE ROUGHLY THE MAIN MEMBERS OF THE CIRCUS, BUT THERE ARE MORE
HEADCANONS NOW
Okay so, basically, the Republic’s circus (idk) is being funded by a wealthy man named Sheev Palpatine. Secretly, Palpatine is not only funding, but in charge of the Separatists’ circus. 
Most droids are in the Circus au, usually either horses, dogs or occasionally cats. 
A man named Jango Fett had a very large family with lots of sons and cousins and one daughter. No one knows why there are so many boys.
All the family apart from Jango and the youngest generation died, and then so did Jango, leaving them all orphaned. At that time, the circus was coming through their town, so many of them joined.
Most circus members are orphans or runaways.
Luminara and Barriss are probably very distantly related, same with Shaak and Ahsoka. 
Younger circus members are apprenticed to older members.
Qui-Gon was killed by a criminal on the run named Maul, who had actually been part of the Separatist circus. He killed Qui-Gon because he was guarding the money box.
A month before that, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had found Anakin and his mother Shmi. Shmi was very broke and decided her son would have a better life with them.
Padme and the rest of the senate are basically just wealthy people.
Padme and Anakin met two weeks after Qui-Gon adopted him. They meet up whenever they can. The relationship is sort-of-forbidden, very frowned upon because the wealthy people like the circus for entertainment and then think the people are poor and peasants.
Everyone in the circus knows Padme and Anakin are dating, even though they think no one knows. It’s very obvious.
If the Separatists and the Republic are in the same area, fights often break out. People sometimes die, but its more common for people to get seriously injured and leave the circus. 
The Separatists kidnapped Echo as a hostage and everyone thought he ran away but some new Jango-spawn members to the circus, Fives, Rex, Anakin and Ahsoka found him and brought him back.
Ahsoka left the circus at one point for a month after being accused of a robbery the Separatists committed but returned quickly. 
Some of the Jango-spawn (Fox, Thorn, Thire, etc) work for Palpatine as his guards, cause he’s a rich bitch.
Some members - if not orphans or runaways - like Anakin were simply given over in hopes of a better life. Ahsoka was one of these, also because her parents feared they weren’t good enough at being parents when she was taken by a mountain lion.
Ahsoka and Shaak come from an Indigenous tribe, and their teeth are more pointed and they still have their fangs. They hunt deer mostly, and cook it over the fire to eat. Their tribe are called Togrutas.
Obi-Wan was an orphan and found by Mace, who took him back to the Circus.
Obi-Wan and Anakin have an acrobatics act, whilst Ahsoka does Equestrian Vaulting. Rex and Cody play music. Jesse, Fives and Hardcase have a comedy act. After the show, a lot of the members busk to get extra money.
Fives and Ahsoka were messing around one day when they stumbled upon the Separatists camp. They were looking around when they saw Palpatine. They rushed back and told Yoda that they were being played.
Yoda cut the deal with Palpatine and made a deal with Bail Organa instead. It later turned out Palpatine was a wanted criminal, and he was sentenced to a life-sentence in a prison far away.
Palpatine’s Guard split, either joining the Republic’s circus or choosing to guard Bail. Bail treated them much, much better. 
Palpatine was also Mayor of the town, so when he was arrested, Bail took his place. Bail made it legal for the circus to marry the richer folk, claiming it was foolish and unkind, for no reason. Secretly, he knew of Padme and Anakin’s relationship, and wanted his best friend to be happy.
A few months later, Padme gave birth to twins. The Circus was still travelling, so Padme convinced Obi-Wan, Ahsoka and Anakin to live at her house part-time. When the circus was close, they lived with the circus. When it was far away, they usually stayed with Padme. Ahsoka managed to convince Rex to do the same.
Anakin revealed that Palpatine had tried to get him to join the Separatists' circus before Fives and Ahsoka had discovered the betrayal. Palpatine had told him he controlled both, and that he would have more money and be closer to Padme if he joined them. However, Anakin hadn’t turned, as he loved his family too much.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed, please send requests!!!
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disastertriowriting · 9 months
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Disaster Lineage Appreciation Gift Exchange
Fanfics:
A shower a day keeps the self-loathing spirit away by egeria - Obi-Wan gets hurt on a mission and Anakin can't mentally handle it. Snuggles ensue.
A Talk Under the Veil of the Night by StarxRox - Fives was executed in front of his eyes. Anakin can't forget what happened. He has nightmares. He hopes that they are just nightmares. But they aren't. Also Obi-Wan is the inconspicuous casual disaster child everybody believes is perfect.
Acch-To Soul, Korriban Body by Sinvulkt (Wakare) - The hound - for it had no name but hound, beast, mutant - collapsed in the dark alley, its small paws folding underneath it. Its chest felt heavy, and its breath came ragged, pained. Blood sang loudly to its ears, as did the loud men that were after it. Its muzzle was still wet from the time they tried to drown it.
Acolyte by Courtesy Trefflin - The mission to Ringo Vinda spirals downward when Tup tries to kill Luminara and Ahsoka confronts, and is injured by, Dooku's unknown assassin, called the Acolyte. There is a conspiracy involving the clones, and Anakin will do anything to uncover it when it means protecting the only people he has had left since Obi-Wan's death many months ago. (Winter Soldier AU)
Crisis of Faith by Courtesy Trefflin (Tirana Sorki) - Qui-Gon's loss isn't the only thing Obi-Wan struggles with after the battle of Naboo. The entire Order worships him as the Sith killer now, but it means having standards he doesn't know he can reach. He can't forget his master. He used the Dark Side. And he has the Chosen One to train, a padawan who is nothing like what Jedi ought to be.
Do Not Stand at My Grave by ReadingBlueWolf - After saving Naboo, Obi-Wan, and Anakin are kidnapped in broad daylight by Dooku. Frustrated by the Council's lack of response (and the old coot insisting on being called "buir"), Obi-Wan pens a few letters to Qui-Gon about the situation.
Flight Path by Courtesy Trefflin (Amina Gila) - Sidious never let him fly, preferring to keep him chained, and even though Anakin was trapped as a dragon for decades, losing his humanity and memories for a time, he has not lost his love for flying. It’s taken months for him to recover, and now that he and his family are taking a trip to Alderaan, he has the perfect opportunity to test his wings again.
Freefall by InsertSthMeaningful - Rey’s Jedi training on Ahch-To entails many things, like swimming, running, lightsaber duelling – and scaling high cliffs. One day, however she falls, and Master Luke doesn’t catch her. Instead, the Force does.
I dream of water by IceyGemini - For a long time, Luke's dreams nightmares were about heat and fire. This one was different...
Mashaw Bros, Sunset Circus by DragonflyonBreak - Come to the circus and witness what you've never seen before.
Multiples - Leia in ANH by Courtesy Trefflin - On the bridge of the Death Star, moments before Alderaan's destruction, Darth Vader is caught off-guard when a shift in the Force causes four more versions of Leia Organa to appear. Leia, who is... his daughter, apparently, the daughter he never knew he had. And Vader will do anything for his family.
Multiples - Luke in TESB by Courtesy Trefflin (Tirana Sorki) - For months now, Vader has waited for the day when he can tell Luke that he's his father. If Luke will join him, they can make the galaxy a better place. That day has finally arrived, except moments before Vader can reveal the truth, the Force suddenly, and unexpectedly, drops four other versions of Luke in front of him as well.
Multiples - Obi-Wan in ROTS by Courtesy Trefflin - Anakin and Obi-Wan have just landed aboard the Invisible Hand to rescue Chancellor Palpatine when suddenly, four other versions of Obi-Wan appear with them. One Obi-Wan is hard enough sometimes, but five? That is a whole other story. It doesn't help that they're not terribly fond of each other... or that the eldest are hiding things about the future.
Of Lineages and Hope by MiaSirtnev - Obi-Wan Kenobi never had a daughter but did have a very special Grandpadawan in Ahsoka Tano. And in matters large and small, they will always be there for each other. Always.
Ready to Respond (Do Not React) by Kefalion - After the events on Cloud City, Luke has been working on his ability to meditate. In a dream, he reaches the right frame of mind and he speaks with Yoda who shares some wisdom.
Relief by hayam - In retrospect, Dooku probably should have gone to the healers the first time he felt that sore tickle in his throat. Or that slight bit of nausea. It would have saved a lot of trouble..
Skywalker Snared by Writer_Patriot - Verifying Dooku's live capture didn't go as planned. Anakin blames himself.
Successor by Courtesy Trefflin (Tirana Sorki) - Traveling into Wild Space in search of ancient Jedi Temples and holocrons to learn from, in the hopes of rebuilding the Jedi Order, Rey stumbles onto something else entirely: the ancient world of Mortis, except... it's now inhabited by Force ghosts?
Swimming Lessons by Kittona writes (kittona) - Ahsoka plots to get her master to take a vacation; they're going to go to the beach. Sun, sand, relaxation, and most importantly, swimming. There's only one problem, Anakin didn't tell her he never learned to swim
The Time Where Anakin Became Yoda's New Padawan by StarxRox - Basically just another time travel story.
With Me As I Go by Courtesy Trefflin - When Qui-Gon died, becoming one with the Force, he could only watch. Watch as everyone in the lineage mourned him, and as the galaxy fell. But he is not about to let his master die. Or, the five times Qui-Gon tried and failed to help his family, and the one time he succeeded.
Fanart:
Just a Little Family Nap by lulek(szalik)
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Captain Rex Is In Trouble
Chapter 16: On The Growth And Care Of Padawans
AO3
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Summary
Kit smiled as Ahsoka's holo form bounced excitedly on the other side of the conference table, Cody and Obi-Wan bracketing her. An impromptu council meeting, to debrief Ahsoka and welcome her back. Anakin and Rex were on the call too, council meeting or not.
Rex had not looked in Kit’s direction even once.
Notes
I'm baaack. Hope everyone enjoys this chapter. I actually wrote the first draft shortly after I started CFICF. It's changed a lot since then - in the first draft Kit and Rex were together at this point in the story. But the core of it is still the same.
I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to my beeeta <3. @cyarbika
Rating: T
Warnings
N/A
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Kit smiled as Ahsoka's holo form bounced excitedly on the other side of the conference table, Cody and Obi-Wan bracketing her. An impromptu council meeting, to debrief Ahsoka and welcome her back. Anakin and Rex were on the call too, council meeting or not. 
Rex had not looked in Kit’s direction even once.
He and Anakin had joined the call slightly early, both of them bouncing on their heels with nervous energy. As soon as the 212th contingent had joined the call – Cody, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka and her contingent of younglings – the two men had visibly slumped, all their anxiety flowing out of them as they saw the evidence with their own eyes. 
She was littered with cuts and bruises, the two darkest beneath her eyes but she was smiling, whole and healthy. She was safe. They were all safe.
She'd fought off pirates and General Grievous and all of her charges were fine. Kit knew he had no right, having taught her only briefly, but he was so very proud of her. 
The younglings had recounted their adventure, at first with puffed out chests and adorable seriousness – their first official report to the Council, albeit a very reduced Council so as not to overwhelm them. It wasn’t long before that was replaced with excitement and enthusiasm, talking over each other in their eagerness. 
Equally quickly, they were overcome with exhaustion. That finally allowed the two 212th medics that had been hovering in the background to shepard them away, one with a motherly smile and the other with a tense frown. 
Now it was Ahsoka’s turn to report.
"A circus act, Master. A circus act," she was saying earnestly, "and it was actually a great one." She drew herself up frowning. "We can't let them go to proper Jedi, they'll ruin them."
Mace sighed, and abruptly disconnected his end of the call. As his blue form flickered out of view, Kit supposed that concluded the more serious part of their meeting. Next to Kit, Yoda chuckled.
His Master had been very worried. 
Kit knew that Yoda felt guilty just for leaving the gathering early – it was one of the most important occasions in a young Jedi’s life and he made a point of attending each one, even through the war – and that was before all that followed. But then, when Ahsoka and the younglings had been attacked? For her to be taken and the younglings stranded, drifting in space, only to have gone missing too? Kit had helped his elderly Master to meditate while they waited for news in the council chambers – helpless. 
The situation had gone from bad to worse, and Kit hadn’t left his Master’s side as he seemed to age decades with every moment. Kit had even considered sending Rex a message of support, but had ultimately decided that it wouldn’t be helpful, or even welcome. 
Still, Rex wasn’t looking at Kit. He was staring at Ahsoka – so Kit could at least pretend that it wasn’t because Rex hated him.
Anakin drew himself up.
"Master Yoda," he said seriously, his eyes dancing, "I think what Ahsoka is trying to say is that we're ready for our own padawan."
Obi-Wan started to laugh as Ahsoka nodded eagerly. 
"All six, you will take?" Yoda asked, his eyes twinkling.
"I'm willing to split them with Cody and Obi-Wan," Ahsoka said seriously. The Marshall Commander facepalmed, but he was clearly smiling behind his glove.
"Do I get any say in this?" Rex asked dryly. It was the first thing he’d said since joining the call.
"No," Ahsoka said instantly.
"Not a chance," echoed Anakin, and around the table everyone laughed. 
Kit stared at the flicker of a smile on Rex’s lips. It was gone as quickly as it appeared, and Kit was hit with a surprisingly sharp sting of grief.
"Right, you may be," Yoda said. "Appropriate Masters, we must find." He tilted his head, smiling. "Yourself and Knight Skywalker, perhaps not."
Anakin pretended to bristle with indignance while Ahsoka laughed, high and bright and so very alive. Kit saw how Rex couldn't seem to look away from her – something he understood deeply. Rex wouldn't be able to fully rest until he'd placed hands on Ahsoka, Kit knew that simply from raising his own padawans. Hopefully knowing she was well and safe with Cody and Obi-Wan would allow Rex a little sleep at least.
Everyone joked that Ahsoka was apprenticed to Anakin and Obi-Wan, but privately Kit thought she was just as much Rex's padawan. He hoped Rex knew he felt that way, since it didn’t seem like he would ever be able to express that sentiment to him.
Though the purpose of this holocall was officially a debrief, truly they all just wanted to lay eyes on Ahsoka. The initiates too, especially Kit and Yoda who had spent so much time with them, but mainly Ahsoka. 
Too many experienced Masters hadn’t survived an encounter with Grievous, and yet this incredible child had bested him on more than one occasion.
She was the youngest of their strange pseudo-family, though Kit suspected she was about to get six younger siblings – one way or another. Six more unconventional Jedi for their ever expanding clan. Plo was entrenched in heavy fighting but they'd managed to get a message through to him and Wolffe that Ahsoka was safe. Quin and Fox hadn't wanted to overwhelm the younglings, but sent their love through Obi-Wan.
Ahsoka began to droop a little and Obi-Wan gently pressed her towards the medical bay, a hand tucked beneath her elbow. Beside them Marshall Commander watched her like a hawk, and they faded from view – leaving only Rex, Anakin, Kit and Yoda on the call. As they all bid farewell to one another, Rex’s gaze flickered towards Kit’s and they made eye-contact.
It was the briefest moment for Kit to convey his wealth of emotions to Rex with only his eyes, but he gave it his all. Rex looked away as he too flickered out of existence.
They would all reunite on Coruscant in a few days, when the 212th delivered the young initiates back to the temple. Hopefully Kit would still be here to greet the younglings, give Ahsoka a hug, and finally apologise to Rex for his insensitivity.
The war was winding down, slowly. Against all odds, the Republic was winning. However, as they neared the end the fighting became more brutal as the Separatists became more desperate by the day -- or their generals, at least. 
Hence the raiding of pirate fortresses, Kit supposed. Desperate times and desperate measures.
Negotiation between the two senates was still outright hostile, but surely if the GAR managed to crush the Separatist armies then the politicians would be forced to talk. Right now however, it all felt like a dim and distant hope.
"Admirable, the actions of initiates were," Yoda hummed beside him, and Kit glanced down. "Young Ahsoka. Great skill and judgement, she has shown."
"And luck," Kit added quietly, "never forget how lucky she was. How lucky they all were."
He knows more than most how lucky their young ones have to be.
Yoda tapped his shins chidingly, always on the watch for Kit's more pessimistic moods. They come and go. He's doing better these days. The war hasn't been kind to any of them, but Kit knows he suffers more than most. Introspection has always been his biggest weakness.
Quinlan calls it moping, but he’s always enjoyed being an ass.
The two of them were alone and so Kit picked up the Grandmaster and balanced him on one shoulder. He received a sharp rap across his nose with the gimmer stick and a disgruntled harumph for his troubles, but then Yoda balanced himself by placing a small hand on one of Kit's ahwey. Kit quelled a smirk as he walked out of the com room, letting Master Yoda steer him by tugging his ahwey – as if Kit would be taking him anywhere else but the Temple gardens to meditate.
They walked silently for a while, both lost in their own contemplation. Only the younger amongst them paid them any heed beyond a respectful nod – Kit had been carrying his Master around on his shoulder since his mid teens, and so to most, there was absolutely nothing unusual about it. The wide eyes of the younger initiates at the sight always served to make Kit smile.
"Carefully chosen, their Masters must be," Yoda said quietly, interrupting Kit as he winked at a particularly awestruck teeny Wookiee. Kit hid another smirk at his Master’s words.
Subtle, Master Yoda was not.
He hummed in agreement, but didn't say anything more. Let the old troll come to him, if this was what he wanted to talk about.
"A good Master to Byph, Plo will be," Yoda continued when Kit didn’t offer anything else in return.
"He's shy, timid," Kit said after a moment's silence, Yoda using his own tactic against him, "Plo will help him build confidence."
"Commander Wolffe, also," Yoda hummed, and Kit stifled a laugh.
"Thoughts, you have?" his Master prompted, squeezing one of Kit’s ahwey gently.
Kit gave in.
"I think Byph will do well with Plo, they will balance each other nicely," he said. "Plo would be thinking about a new padawan anyway, now that Ahsoka has been taken on by Anakin." He thought for a moment before moving to the next initiate. "Gungi, I believe, would make a good match for Shaak. You've said he struggles with impatience, and no one is more patient than her." A small claw tightened on his ahwey and Kit grinned. "Except yourself of course, Master." 
They smiled and nodded at some passing knights and Kit continued. 
"Petro and Katooni pose a more complex problem," Kit continued when they were alone again, "I had thought, before all this, that Katooni's studious nature would lend her well to Obi-Wan, and that Petro's more… relaxed approach to learning and outgoing nature might see him do well with Master Vos, but now…"
"Out of the Temple a week, young Katooni has been, and best friends with a pirate, she already is," Yoda said disapprovingly. Kit laughed.
"Quite," he agreed, "She's a Shadow in the making if ever I saw one. So, another competent young woman for Quinlan to look after, or vice versa, and another impetuous and overconfident young man for poor Obi-Wan."
"Experience in this, Obi-Wan has," Yoda said. Kit could feel his Master’s smug smile through the Force, without even looking.
"I suppose Anakin didn't turn out too badly," he hummed. Yoda hit him in the chest with his gimmer stick and tutted in defence of one of his many lineages.
"Ganodi… Ganodi is a flyer, clear as day," Kit continued. "She needs to slow down, learn to take her time down here on the ground. I had wondered if Garen might take her, but I think another pilot might not balance her so well. Aayla… I believe Aayla is ready for a Padawan. She has always been thoughtful. I think she would teach Ganodi well."
Yoda hummed in agreement.
They fell into silence as Kit considered the final member of the creche clan. Almost without his noticing, they had reached the gardens. Kit stood on the edge of the grass, looking at the scene whilst too lost in his own thoughts to truly take it in.
"And Zatt?" Yoda asked eventually. Kit thought for a moment longer before answering.
"Zatt spends too much time looking with his datapad and not with his other senses," he said slowly, "He has a talent for electronics, there's no doubt about it, but he relies on it too much. I believe it may stem from a lack of confidence in his other abilities."
He swallowed before continuing.
"He needs someone who will help him look with all of his senses. Someone who will help him to live in the moment."
Zatt, who doesn't see enough of the world around him. Kit, who often feels like he sees too much of it.
He's not stupid. Yoda has been not so subtly angling for this for months. It's not as if Kit doesn’t feel a connection to Zatt – quite the opposite.
But he doesn't think he's ready yet.
The old frog hummed, sensing Kit's turmoil.
"Meditate together, we will?"
Kit considered his offer.
"No," he said thoughtfully, "there's somewhere else I think I should be."
He set the elderly Grandmaster down on the grass and bowed his goodbye. Then he started to walk towards the medical wing, feeling Yoda’s gaze on him with every step.
Some would look at him, a dedicated knight without an ounce of healing talent, and wonder how he raised two dedicated healers. The truth was simple.
Kit had had very little to do with it. 
Bant had already had her heart set on a career in healing, so when Master Tahl had died and Kit had offered to take her on and see her to knighthood, he'd really only been facilitating her self guided learning. A little emotional guidance after the loss of her Master and subsequent teenage dramas, but really it had been more just asking her how her classes had gone that day and prompting some self reflection, taking her on a few diplomatic missions to ensure that no, it really wasn't her calling, and making sure she was capable of defending herself. 
Nadhar had always idolised his sister padawan. Then too, his path had been decided long before Kit was even involved. 
He still remembered, with aching fondness, the day that Bant had introduced him to 'the charming young man' that had been helping her give check ups in the crèche. One of the only other Mon Calamari in the temple, certainly the one closest to him in age, Nadhar had been fascinated by Bant and everything she did. Even in the early days of his padawanship, when Bant had been finding her path outside of the Temple and away from Kit's sphere of influence, the two had commed each other often. Bant had kept more in contact with Nadhar than she had Kit, but he didn't begrudge either of them their closeness.
He too understood the need to step out from under your Master’s shadow in those early years of knighthood. Bant, like himself at her age, had gone to the other end of the Galaxy to do so. They never completely lost contact, and on her return to the Temple about five years before the war they’d been as close as they were when she was still a teen. They’ve only become closer since.
Bant and Nadhar had never had that separation, and their bond has only become stronger now that they work together daily.
Kit had always found great comfort in their bond, that if ever Nadhar felt like he couldn't go to Kit with a problem, he would turn to Bant. He adored them both all the more for it.
It'd been hard to let him go in the early days of the war, but Kit knew their paths lay in different directions. He didn't enjoy being a General, but he liked to think he was good at it.
He hoped desperately that he was good at it. The other option was too terrible to contemplate.
It was then that Nadhar had gone to another Master, a healer, to finish his training. Kit hadn't been able to attend Nadhar's knighting ceremony. Instead, the next time he'd seen his beloved second padawan they'd been tasked with capturing Gunray.
Kit stopped just outside the medical wing, suddenly overwhelmed with memories and grief.
He remembered Nadhar's pain as if it were his own. He felt the burn of hot plasma slide into his chest and pierce his heart.
The encroaching darkness.
The fear.
Kit's, not Nadhar's.
Nadhar had not been afraid.
Kit had been terrified.
Through the glass door to the medical wing, Nadhar laughed with another of the healers. Kit drank in the sight like only a Nautolan could, tasting the faint scent of mirth on the tips of his ahwey. Even now, almost two years later, Kit still felt overwhelmed with joy and grief every time he got to see Nadhar smile.
He still didn't understand how they'd survived. Grievous had given up trying to get in and disappeared, and instead of doing the sensible thing and running, Kit had gone to Nadhar. He just had to see him, hold him one last time.
Somehow he'd still been alive. Barely, but he was still there.
Kit had poured the Force into his padawan, dragged them both to his aethersprite and crammed the two of them into the cockpit meant for one, Nadhar cradled against his chest. All the way to the nearest medical station, Kit had felt Nadhar slipping further and further away from him.
Kit had grabbed all the Force he could muster and refused to let him go.
The next few days had been a blur, Nadhar teetering on the edge of death until finally – a familiar brush against his shields. His padawan, his darling boy, his son, reaching out for him. Kit had sobbed in relief, offered all the comfort he could give, and promptly passed out from Force exhaustion.
By the time he'd woken a few days later, Nadhar had been conscious enough to lecture him on the dangers of over-taxing himself, and Kit had laughed until he'd cried.
"You're at the medical wing and you're not obviously bleeding…" mused a familiar voice.
It still felt like a novelty, a gift. Like something Kit didn't really deserve. He smiled. 
"Can't see any broken bones," Nadhar continued, mirth heavy in his voice and Force presence, blanketing Kit in comfort. "Have you been poisoned? Mind control? Is the Galaxy collapsing?"
Kit threw back his head and laughed. 
"Can't I just come to visit my former padawan?" he asked. He folded his arms in his robes so that he wouldn't be tempted to reach out to Nadhar.
They tended not to hug in the Temple. Overt displays of such emotion were still frowned upon in these walls, and now that Kit was on the council it suddenly mattered that much more what his fellow Jedi thought of him.
"You hate it here," Nadhar said, grinning. "The only time you come here without having to be dragged is because you're unconscious."
Kit rolled his eyes. That was an exaggeration. He wasn't as bad as some people he could mention.
"I actually just wanted to see if you were free for lunch," Kit hummed. Nadhar's brow ridges rose in surprise but he smiled. 
"Sure," he said, "Temple commissary?"
"I was thinking I could treat you to Dex's," Kit said, placing an arm around Nadhar's shoulders and guiding him down the corridor, "if you've got the time."
"I've got the time, sounds good."
Kit smiled, and squeezed his son’s shoulders. It was as close as a hug as he could allow himself right now.
Nadhar leaned a little closer into his side and together, they walked.
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"So."
Kit glanced up over his burger at Nadhar, who was looking at him with a secretive little smile. He swallowed his mouthful of greasy, delicious, terribly-bad-for-him nerfburger.
"So?"
Nadhar grinned. 
"You're eating your comfort food, you look miserable as all hells and I could sense your turmoil from across the Temple." Nadhar leaned forward and sipped his milkshake. "So. What's up?"
Kit scowled.
"Maybe I just fancied a burger," he said evasively. He sounded annoyingly childish, even to his own audial pits.
"C'mon," Nadhar said, and kicked him under the table. "If you didn't want to actually talk about it, you would've taken me to the temple commissary."
Kit scowled deeper. Curse him for raising such a perceptive padawan. And, also, for being so damn predictable.
"Yoda is pushing another padawan on me," he muttered, resting his chin on his hand. He took another bite of his burger – double patty with bantha bacon and lactose free cheese – to hide the fact he was sulking.
Nadhar hummed thoughtfully, and Kit suspected he had not been successful in his attempt.
"But that's not new, he's had you teaching that crèche clan everytime you're in the Temple for the last year, at least," Nadhar said, popping a chip into his mouth. 
It was true. Like Kit had said earlier, Master Yoda was not subtle.
Nadhar swallowed and looked at Kit carefully.
"I'd heard they were all back safely,” he continued, softer this time. “With the 212th, right?"
Kit nodded.
"Are you okay?" 
Kit snorted. What a very complicated question that was.
"No. I –" he broke off, sighing. "I'm not ready. I can't be what he needs me to be right now."
Nadhar continued to study Kit across the table.
"And what does he need you to be?" he asked carefully. 
Neither of them needed to say his name.
"Someone who isn't constantly on the frontlines. Someone who can give him the focus and the attention that he deserves," Kit replied. "Someone who doesn't have nightmares of you dying," he added, more quietly.
Nadhar watched him sadly. After a moment, he leaned forwards
"You have to stop blaming yourself, Kit," he said. Kit wished they were alone so that he could hear Nadhar call him dad again.
"Do I?" he said – more viciously than he intended.
"Do you blame me?" Nadhar asked, and Kit recoiled.
"Of course not!" 
"But it was my decisions that led me to be in that hallway," Nadhar continued calmly.
"And it was my failings that led you to make those decisions."
"Your failings?" Nadhar scoffed. "Kit, I hadn't seen you in over a year – "
"Exactly," Kit said, trying not to let his anger at himself control him. "I should have been there for you. I should have – "
"Kit – " Nadhar interrupted him, still so soft and gentle. "Two years apart doesn't erase the ten before that. It doesn’t even begin to."
"That's worse, that means I – "
"Shut up. Let me talk."
Kit took another vicious bite of his burger and watched Nadhar over the table. He was not sulking.
Nadhar looked out of the window and sighed.
"I've talked about it a lot, you know, with my mind healer," he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. "About what led me to… that point. Why I did what I did." He frowned a little. "I just wanted you to be proud of me and I thought that was the way to do it. I hadn't seen you in over a year and I wanted you to be impressed by what I'd become and… I made some awful decisions."
"Nadhar," Kit said, suddenly on the verge of tears, "if I ever gave you any cause to doubt that I was proud of you I – " 
"You didn't, that's the thing," Nadhar said, waving him off. "It was all in my own head. I didn't really understand how esteemed council member General Fisto, famed duellist, could be proud of me, a lowly healer."
"Nadhar – "
"Shut up Master, I'm not done." Nadhar took another sip of his milkshake before he continued. "It was never about you, not really. It all stemmed from my own self doubt and self worth, which in turn all stems from my time as an initiate, before I ever even knew you.” He turned towards Kit, making eye contact so he could make sure that his next words landed the way they were intended. “Trust me when I say, you never gave me any reason to question how proud you were of me."
How much you love me, he said in Kit's mind, smiling.
Tears spiked at the corners of Kit’s eyes and he swallowed.
"Still," Kit told him, his voice shaking a little, "I think it bears repeating. I am so very proud of you Nadhar Vebb, and all that you've achieved."
I love you so much it hurts sometimes, he pushed through the Force. Nadhar ducked his head.
They stayed in silence, pushing warmth and comfort towards each other as they finished eating their meals. Nadhar's feet rested on Kit's ankles under the table, like they had the first time Kit had brought him here, when he reached no higher than Kit’s waist.
"I still – " Kit started when he'd finished his meal, stumbling over trying to find the right words. "I still feel like it was my failure. That’s my own self doubt, I suppose." 
"I'm here," Nadhar reminded him, "I'm alive."
"But you weren't," Kit said, his voice finally breaking as the pain of the memory overwhelms him. "There was a moment where you weren't, and I will have to live the rest of my life knowing what that feels like." 
The agony of watching his child die, and being powerless to stop it.
"I still don't know how you survived," he whispered.
"You , you idiot," Nadhar said, smiling sadly. "It was you. I'm alive because of you, because you loved me too much to let me go. Don't forget it."
Kit sighed, and Nadhar wrapped around him in the Force. 
"Still. I don't think I'm ready," he muttered, "Zatt deserves… more than me. I’m a mess."
“But he needs you,” Nadhar said. “Mess and all.”
Kit grunted, suddenly tired of speaking. Nadhar sighed at him.
"You really need to see a mind healer.” 
"I know," Kit groaned, "but when do I have the time? And what if they decide to pull me away from the front? I have to be there for my men."
"You're not wrong," Nadhar muttered, "but I don't have to like it."
"I never asked you to," Kit said, stirring the remnants of his drink with his straw.
They lapsed into a slightly less comfortable silence, but as Kit said there wasn’t much either of them could do about it. Therapy wasn’t something he could realistically access right now, though he was under no illusion that he desperately needed it. Unfortunately too many people were relying on him for him to take that time off. 
It was hardly going to change, with the steadily dwindling number of qualified knights and Masters, the scope of his responsibilities would only increase.
“Do you talk to Dara a lot?” Nadhar asked suddenly. “Because – you should. She’s always good for you.”
“I speak to her whenever I can,” Kit reassured him. “She told me you had dinner with her when you came back from the front?”
“Yeah. The whole gang.” Nadhar smiled. “Food was good like always, and it was nice to see Molly up close for once. She’s so busy with maintaining ships in the hangar – I think she sleeps there.”
“Dara’s said the same thing,” Kit said. “I don’t think I’ve seen her since the war started, at least not beyond waving from a distance whenever I’m in the hangar.”
“You know Molly though, never happier than when she’s waist deep in a broken hyperdrive. She’s doing good.”
“I’m glad.”
Nadhar chewed his lip for a moment before continuing. 
“It was… weird without you there. It was the first time the four of us had all been together since the start of the war and… I don't know. It just really made me miss you.”
Kit tapped his foot against Nadhar’s beneath the table.
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault,” Nadhar replied, shrugging. 
“One day soon,” Kit reassured him. “We’ll all be together again.”
“And you’ll make flatcakes for pudding?”
Kit laughed. 
“I’ll make all the flatcakes you want,” he said, smiling at Nadhar across the table. “You won’t be able to move for flatcakes.”
“Maybe, by that time, Zatt can come too.”
Kit rolled his eyes and chose to ignore Nadhar’s decidedly pointed comment. Displeased with this, Nadhar began to kick him beneath the table. 
Not to be outdone, Kit began to kick back. 
Nadhar’s laughter settled comfortably in his chest, warming his already burger-warmed heart.
Force, did anyone but him in this lineage have an ounce of subtlety?
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Notes:
Thanks for reading. See you when I see you!
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archduke42 · 1 year
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Old Barriss fanfiction
For those bored on a Friday nite, I thought I would post more segments of an older story I wrote before TCW came to TV. When Barriss became my Muse, I just started giving her more adventures and liberties to be involved more in the Prequel Trilogy timeline
In this scene, Darth Tyrranus has lured Barriss into a trap when she arrives on Geonosis to attempt to rescue captured Obi-Wan Kenobi. Keep in mind, when I wrote this, Dooku and Tyrannus are two different characters, and Tyrannus has abilities where he can only be seen by Barriss as he poisons the minds of Dooku and the Separatists.  Barriss is put on trial,and sentenced to Death.  Dooku, who is slowly becoming a Dark Jedi obsessed with hunting down Darth Sidious, also reveals the big secret that has been hidden from Barriss her entire life, which will devastate her in that moment.
I know some of this reading may be a bit over the top, but I was excited to write a cliffhanger moment for her.
It may look as if I Mar Sue’d Barriss the way Filoni writes Ahsoka, but at the time I preferred to think of stories like this as “Barriss being a normal Jedi trying to do her best, gets into epic situations and faces imminent death.....but then a miracle happens and she just becomes naturally more awesome” kind of thing.  At the very least, I tried to make all her epic moments plausible when I wrote it.  Enjoy
(Barriss is brought into a large chamber blindfolded and tied up. The blindfold is removed. She finds herself facing Separatists Shu Mai, Nute Gunray, Po Nudo, Sun Fac and the shadowy Darth Tyrannus)
Tyrannus: A surprise for the Council......a Jedi spy.
Barriss: TRAITORS! Where's Dooku? Where is Senator Hadranus?
Shu: *SILENCE! You are in no position to demand anything!*
Nute: It is an unfortunate turn of events for you, my dear.
Barriss: When the Chancellor discovers your deeds here, Viceroy, you-
Nute: -Oh, be quiet. I hear that one every morning.
Sun: *Jedi Padawan Barriss Offee, it is with great regret that you are charged and found guilty of trespassing into a sacred catacomb of our honored dead. Great though your heart and deeds may be, you are unworthy to be in such a place. The penalty is Death!*
(Barriss turns to Tyrannus)
Barriss: Clever little trap for a clever little joke trial.
Tyrannus: An easy one, too. Master Unduli would never have fallen for such an obvious ruse.
(Barriss looks at him with irritation at the taunt)
Barriss: I’ll have you eating those words when Master Dooku gets here!
Nute: You can't talk to us like this! This is outrageous. You're on trial, you green skinned pest! This is for what you did on Naboo years ago!
(Barriss turns to the neutral Sun Fac with urgency)
Barriss: Sun Fac, you obviously remember that we Jedi have always been your allies. We helped end Hadiss' reign of terror. How can you let them pull off this "kangaroo court"??
Sun: *Politics......make strange bedfellows, Padawan Offee. Archduke Poggle is now a member of the Confederacy-*
Barriss: -No!-
Sun: *-of Independant Systems. Even if it were not so, you were caught in the sacred catacombs. Wether intentional or not......we must follow with Geonosian Law!*
Barriss: Joining the Sepratists makes you a traitor, Sun Fac!! Don't give in to their lies! Go get Senator Hadranus!
Tyranus: Barriss, Barriss. General Hadranus is not on this world. He is on Rhen Var, and he is about to discover his true destiny.
Barriss: Even if you kill me, the Republic will not stand for this horrible act! Palpatine will have you all on trial!
Nute: (sigh) Booring!
(Tyranus swiftly moves next to her with silent grace)
Tyranus: There is no victory you can have that I cannot take away.....
(The doors behind them burst open. Count Dooku storms into the proceedings, startling everybody. Barriss turns to him with a small feeling of relief. She turns back to Tyranus to give a witty reply, but Tyranus has vanished again)
Dooku: This is outrageous! Of all the audacious things!! I cannot allow this to turn into a circus!
Barriss: Master Dooku, I am grateful you are here! Finally you can tell these lunatics to let me go!
(A sudden uncomfortable chill sweeps over her as Dooku marches to her sternly. He looms over her like a dreaded prophet of Doom)
Dooku: On the contrary, young padawan.......I am here to stop you from ruining everything!!
Barriss: (In shock) WHAT??
Tyrannus: (whispering) She is a traitor....she must die.....she will destroy all your dreams....
(Barriss can actually HEAR Tyrannus as he sends horrible thoughts to Dooku's mind. Dooku's face is red with a held back indignant rage)
Dooku: You, of all people, Barriss......I never thought I'd see you try to stab Qui-Gon in the back as well with this treachery!
Barriss: MASTER DOOKU!! He was LIKE A FATHER TO ME!
(Dooku frowns even more)
Dooku: More's the pity!
(He walks past her)
Dooku: Barriss, the punishment for spying is death in the arena, the punishment for desecration of the sacred Nekropolis....death by immolation. The Geonosians believe it is to purify the stench of your unholy trespass. If I will it, you would die in a most horrible fashion.......but it would be an even worse fate that you should die without ever knowing what it was that has kept you alive.....
Barriss: Don't give in to the madness......this Confederacy of yours is an act of TREASON!!!
Dooku: I have cared for you like a granddaughter, and I have held secrets to protect you.....
Barriss: What are you talking about??
(At that moment, the dread Cyborg, General Grievous, enters the trial room. Barriss becomes frightfully aware of the malicious aura. She recognizes him, and he almost seems to smile under his cold metallic mask)
Grievous: Barriss.......how lovely......
(Dooku and Grievous escort Barriss Offee down to the dungeon)
Barriss: This is NOT the answer, Master Dooku! War with the Republic-
Dooku: -I did not ask for this war! I did not ask for my friends to die needlessly on Naboo.....or here....
(Dooku gets paternal as he opens a secret door among the dank dark cells)
Dooku: I have always admired your drive and initiative, your strong will. You would have made a great Jedi....
Barriss: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!!!! BILLIONS WILL DIE IF YOU GO DOWN THIS PATH!!! You will be lost to us....please....don't do this! Please....
(Grievous stands coldly as Dooku leads her into a small chamber with several tunnels)
Dooku: Barris, I am carrying out the best kind of death sentence for you I can. I pulled strings to get you here.
Barriss: (sarcastic) Oh, thank you. I'm soooo grateful! You put me in the dungeon! You are not a Geonosian, you don't have-
(He leans down, for a moment, caressing her head in a grandfatherly way. He is ready to sacrifice even those he would call family to fulfill his obsession in destroying the Sith)
Dooku: -You don't understand. The legal alternatives like the arena.....it would be unbearable to see you suffer that fate. I do this for you as the friend you once were. Trust me, I helped design things so Poggle would never have to worry about the same stunts that were pulled when you and Master Unduli interfered years ago....Master Kenobi is also under sentence of Death.
(Barriss looks at him, shocked and horrified. He is not the graceful, witty Jedi she had known for so long. Dooku wearily stops and slowly turns to almost glance back out the door at Grievous. He looks uncertain about everything)
Dooku: It is not your fault, Barriss. You were a tool of the Jedi and the Senate. They have killed you, We must stop the Sith. We must make it all right. THAT is why this must happen.
(Barriss gets angry)
Barriss: What would Qui-gon say? You would kill your own friends and family??
Dooku: So much you do not know....about family...
(Barriss gets more agitated, but Dooku suddenly gets very quiet)
Barriss: WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT IT!!!??? You're Master Dooku!! Lord of all you survey!! You can kill with a word and these tin pot drones will do it!
(He looks away. Grievous gets huffy outside the room, but Barriss is no longer scared of the Cyborg)
Barriss: And you shut up, Grievous!! Nobody cares to hear your opinions!!
(She almost snarls at Dooku)
Barriss: I've grown up my whole life obeying the rules, smiling and eating and breathing according to the rules of the Order without ever knowing my family, my parents....How dare you!!?? Telling me I know nothing about it....you keep rattling on about secrets you held!!! You talk about family and yet you have calmly given me the DEATH SENTENCE???? WHAT IS GOING ON???!!!!
Dooku: IT is about your mother and father!
Barriss: What about them? I never got to meet them!
Dooku: YES, YOU DID!!!
(Barriss is stunned. Dooku composes himself)
Dooku: Qui-gon never told you about your father.....
(POV Does a CU of Barriss)
Barriss: What did Qui-gon know about my father?
(CU of Dooku as he drops the bomb on Barriss)
Dooku: Qui-gon....he WAS your father!!
(Barriss looks at Dooku in complete disbelief)
Barriss: -That can't be! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!
Dooku: Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
Barriss: But who wo-
(Barriss stops and gets wide eyed as she suddenly realizes, as if putting two and two together on who "Mother" really is!! She holds back the shock as best she can, fully aware of everything around her)
Barriss: (sobbing) It can't be....IT CAN'T BE!!!
Dooku: It was time now to tell you, because time is so short! So much for you to know, but....
(Dooku looks away. He suddenly can't look her in the face)
Barriss: (tears up) All this time....
Dooku: You deserved to know before I sealed you in. You will wander these tunnels until you succumb to death. There is no way out. But at least you have a chance to die in peace, with the truth....I am truly sorry.
(Dooku, oblivious to Barriss' state of mind, turns and exits)
Barriss: (whispering) You son of a bitch.....You've condemned me to a fate worse than death.....
Dooku: You will die with dignity, and no one will ever know of what I have told you. When I establish a new galactic order.....you will be remembered as a great hero to the next generation of Jedi....A NEW Generation of Jedi under MY leadership!
(POV watches Dooku seal the door shut, Barriss' silhouette dimmed by the growing darkness)
(POV follows Dooku and Grievous back into the palace)
Dooku: Prepare the staff for our next briefing, especially concerning Poggle's latest weapons' project. Prepare the trial for Senator Amidala and her puppydog Skywalker!! They will join Master Kenobi for the arena.
Grievous: Yes, my lord.
(Dooku steps into another room quickly out of sight. He leans against a wall and closes his eyes. His world feels like it is crumbling around him for a few seconds. Tears fill his eyes for a second, but he grips himself)
Tyrannus: (VO whisper) Friends must die so that you can win against the Sith Lord. It is a necessary sacrifice....
(Dooku wants to say something, but the Darkness clouds his judgement and he steels his resolve to destroy the Sith even though he has committed one of his first terrible acts to accomplish it)
(Barriss sits in the dark, facing the tunnels, pondering what to do as she recovers from crying. The door opens behind her. CU of Grievous as he slowly enters and lights up two sabres with glee)
Barriss: YOU!!
Grievous: My child, I have waited a long stretch of time for this rematch!!
(Barriss jumps up and prepares for battle! Sabre lit, she stands in readiness as Grievous closes the door behind him)
Grievous: You are dead, one way or another. Dooku does not need to know the details!  I think about our encounters on Naboo all those years ago, and I think I owe it to you to make this as painful and prolonged as possible!!
(He lights up a total of four sabers! Barriss suddenly realizes she is out of her depth fighting him. Smartly, she leaps into the nearest tunnel. Grievous laughs)
Grievous: You cannot run far!! Every tunnel in this labyrinth is a dead end!!
How does Barriss escape??  That is a story for another time....
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withoutpeer · 2 years
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how's your portrayal? i don't know if i'm really the one to say anything about it since really getting into the whole star wars franchise pretty recently but i really enjoy your obi-wan! i basically read everything you post and i want to read more and more. i can hear his voice and i can tell you really understand his character and how much you care about him. idk i just like it <33
how's my portrayal
LOEY! i'm so glad link bullied you into joining this circus with us <3. you're gonna have a terrible time uwu. but asd;lfkjsaf thank you so much. i love obbily so much and i can't wait for reva to make his life an absolute fucking living hell so thank you <3
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soccialcreature · 4 years
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More badly explained Clone Wars episode/arc plots
( @stairset did some and I thought they were funny. all of my funniest ideas r someone else's)
Kit Fisto breaks into Grevious’s house and kill his dog
Obi-wan “dies” and Anakin is so sad about it that he tries to kill Obi-wan
Jar Jar accidentally releases a deadly virus so him, Padme, Ahsoka, and some clones have to get quarantined (talk about depicting real-life events!) while Anakin meets the angels he accuses Padme of being in episode 1
Anakin becomes a god and then kills every single native on the planet he is on
C3PO and R2D2 go from planet to planet overthrowing governments
Anakin meets Padme’s ex and drops him off a cliff
Godzilla
Obi-wan, Anakin, and Dooku are handcuffed together and have to pole-vault to freedom. Hondo is there
Anakin hires Hondo to smuggle weapons to Ahsoka to help the terrorist group she’s training
A group of kids join the circus so they can save Ahsoka who has been captured by, you guessed it, Hondo
Obi-wan and his stoner friend are looking for an evil slug who has blackmail material they want to use on other evil slubs but his frog ex-girlfriend shoots him for breaking her heart first
Ahsoka is released into the wild and hunted for sport (no, really)
Anakin says something wildly incorrect about politics so Padme kidnaps his padawan and brings her to meet a Separatist simp
Later, said simp hires a terrorist group to kill Dooku but then realizes the terrorists are bad too
Ahsoka sneaks onto a mission to rescue a guy named Evan and then he dies
Yoda starts hearing voices so everyone thinks he’s insane and they hospitalizes him for his own safety but he escapes w Anakin’s help
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famouskittychild · 3 years
Text
Star Wars Fun in the Sun
vol 2 - At the pool
This is my gift (vol2) for @milfsyndullas in the Fun in the Sun gift exchange (hosted at @starwarsfandomfests). Some poolside fun during a break away from the war with the trio of Obi-wan, Anakin and Ahsoka. 
AO3 
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The small skiff that had carried them down to the planet was a welcome sight. It was the first civilian craft they had been in for a while, and the unusual colours, shapes and interior kept them occupied during the descent.
“What a nice little ship this is” expressed Ahsoka what all three of them were thinking. Obi-wan answered with his usual serenity.
“Yes, it was acquired for the Grand Army not long after the beginning of the war. The planet we are heading to is on a supply line, so many of their infrastructure is now helping the war effort.”
Anakin’s mood darkened a bit though if anyone would’ve asked why, he couldn’t have answered. Ahsoka did find the problem for him.
“So… they had to give up their livelihood to the Republic…”
“... and the Republic uses it so they can go back to live their lives undisturbed by war as soon as possible.” Obi-wan nodded.
The skiff banked and they had a great view at the land under them. Green forests, white dwellings and small blue lakes were the dominant features under the patchy cover of rainclouds. The craft straightened out, bringing the landscape slowly out of view. The pilot’s voice came through the on-board comm system.
“We will be landing in five minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for landing.”
 The facility that was chosen as housing for the visiting officers was a sprawling complex of low, simple buildings nestled in a valley between gently rising hills. The person who took them over from the clerk at the front desk told them about the place after Obi-wan asked about it. Lilac Crescent was a holiday resort, with the attractions of forest walks, multiple lakes and wildlife reserves nearby.
“Soon after the war started, the ‘Crescent was acquired for the war effort. The tourism dried up anyways, what with all the blockades and restrictions. We usually host training sessions here, or provide housing for all kind of personnel, from troopers to clerks to maintenance workers. Most recently we had a conference for medical personnel. This way please.”
They reached a pair of glass doors on the corridor. It opened onto a spacious square that had a large enough space in the middle for every resident to gather there. Outside of the open area, the lawn was dotted with benches, tidy bushes and picnic tables. Small pathways led to the white walled cabins strewn around the premises, trees giving shade to them here and there.
Their building was off from the main one somewhat. Behind the cabins there were clusters of larger houses with two stories.
“Those have apartments, as we were told we can expect some of your colleagues to join you later. We had prepared an apartment with three bedrooms for you; if there is any request or you would like a different one, please let us know and we can make the necessary adjustments.”
“Thank you” Obi-wan answered for all three of them. They knew they wont be asking for anything.
There were differently coloured doors for each of the separate apartments on the outside of the building, but their guide led them to a widest, double door in the middle. It opened into an alcove cutting straight through the building,  walls lined with ferns and other shadow tolerant plants. As they rounded the corner and stepped into the inner courtyard, they all drew to a stop. Their guide grinned at them, no doubt expecting their reaction from experience with other visitors. Ahsoka’s jaw dropped, Anakin broke into a grin, and even Obi-wan’s smile grew wider.
“A swimming pool?” Ahsoka breathed.
“With parasols!” Anakin pointed out, which made Ahsoka snap around to look at him. She didn’t expected him to single those out when there was a small slide at one corner.
“And a slide!” she pointed it out to him.
“This is very nice.” Obi-wan turned to their guide. “Thank you.”
Their guide smiled.
“You are very welcome. Your unit will be just over there” they pointed towards the corner on their right, at one of the transparent wide doors. “Communal rooms on the ground floor, bedrooms and fresher upstairs. The shed over there contains pool equipment. There’s instructions for everything that needs instructions, and the rest is safe to use as is.”
They gave the keycards to Anakin who stood closest.
“The main building has meals all through the day, and we have a delivery service too, accessible from your datapads, both for groceries and meals. Just use the comm in the lounge if you need anything, any time.”
They thanked them for their help, smiling and looking forward to spending a few days there, then the employee left and they went to settle into their rooms. The glass double doors opened to the lounge, with low sofas in cheerful colours. Other transparent sliding doors separated the kitchen and dining areas, with windows set high on the walls that looked outside, for privacy. They opened all of them and enjoyed the breeze crossing the house.
Ahsoka run upstairs then yelled down telling them she had found her room.
“Its the one with the blue curtains!”
Anakin was inspecting the taps and Obi-wan was reading the safety guide posted on the hallway wall. Ahsoka grabbed their bags and carried them upstairs, leaving them in the middle of the foyer on the landing, thinking the other two can choose their rooms later. They were still inspecting the place when she got back downstairs. Anakin was now looking at the kettle, flipping the switch on and off on it. It was an old, almost entirely mechanical model, nothing like the automated appliances they were used to. She plopped down onto a sofa and relaxed.
“Don’t get too comfortable, we will have to leave for the briefing soon.” Obi-wan told her, as she expected he would, and she sighed. They might have come here for training and other official stuff, not even knowing for exactly how many days, but at least their surrounding were nice. She looked out at the pool. Very nice.
If only the weather would cooperate.
 After returning at the end of their official schedule later that day, Ahsoka went to the top floor straight away, leaving the other two downstairs. There was a large closet on the corridor, right by the stairs, that she wanted to investigate. She wondered what would be stored there; not bedlinen or bathing towels, as those were supplied with each room in their own closets. She opened the large doors and her jaw dropped. The contents of the spacious storage were so colourful, it reminded her of a toyshop.
“What are these? Circus tent accessories?” She mused, than looked closer. The neat piles were sorted by type it seemed. There were some that looked like towels, in several sizes. Others seemed to have tailoring and hems - cloaks, probably; and then there were thin shawl-looking pieces, and simple carrier bags in several sizes, and an assortment of hats. She pulled out one of the clothes-looking things: it was a loosely shaped yellow and blue striped dress. It was probably meant to fit many sizes and shapes with its wide sleeves, overlapping panels and ties at the waist and hems.  
The corners of her mouth turned upwards. This closet was here probably for the same reason the shed down by the pool was: to be used by guest who didn’t bring their own things, or just needed a spare of something. She could choose for herself, yes. But she could also choose for all three of them.
Just to spare the bother for the others.
 Fifteen minutes later, she hopped down the stairs, with a pile for the two jedis on her arm.
Anakin looked up at the sound of her barrelling down the stairs and stopped in his tracks as she came into view.
“Where did you got those?”
Ahsoka stopped in the middle of the room and looked down at herself as if just noticing that something is out of the ordinary.
“Oh. These. I found them in the closet upstairs. I’ve got some for you, master, and for Master Kenobi.” She lifted her arm with the suspicious pile. Anakin raised an eyebrow at her.
“Thank you for your effort”, he said cautiously. If her current look and the cascade of colours and patterns he could see where any indication, they weren't in for anything good.
Over her clothes she was wearing a cheerful lilac wrap-dress with a pattern of small blue flowers. She had a large towel thrown over her shoulder in a riot of greens, yellows and purples. The most unusual was the wide brimmed yellow hat she had over her montrals, the top of them sticking out of it.
She must’ve noticed his gaze as she glanced up at her headwear.
“I even found hats for non-round-heads. This will be good against the sun, isn’t it?” She addressed the question for both of them, as Obi-wan had moved closer too.
“What had you chosen for us?” he asked her in his usual light tone. Anakin braced himself, and his padawan’s exited grin just further spurred his suspicions.
He was right. She got them a similarly riotous assortment of shirts, dressing gowns, towels and even hats. Obi-wan seemed happy with her choices, but Anakin felt a bit uncomfortable.
“These are so… colourful.” He tried to put it into words. He wasn’t sure it was right for them, or for him, to wear things like these.
Ahsoka shrugged with a mischievous grin.
“That was my intent, master. Usually we have plain clothes, but we are on holiday. I thought we might enjoy our clothes for once, not just use them.”
Anakin looked at her, and realized he had to make a choice. She was right, there was nothing wrong with letting their hair down a bit. On the other hand, he also realized that his padawan had probably chosen the most outrageously coloured and patterned and maybe even tailored things she could find.
Out of habit, he glanced over to his former master. Obi-wan looked back from the corner of his eye, lips in a half smirk, and Anakin knew he had came to the same conclusion. But Anakin was the teacher here; it had to be his choice how to handle this.
“Make sure to take some holo recordings whilst we are wearing these, as you already went to the trouble of selecting the most outrages ones for us.”
Ahsoka opened her mouth to dispute some of what he said, then wisely changed her mind.
 The weather, as it often happens, did not cooperate. It rained through the next day, but at least they were busy with their schedule. They were also told to have a rest for another four days. Their troopers were back on Kamino, getting their usual update courses and evaluations. They could expect the officers showing up sometime the last day or two, depending on other factors. Until then, they were free to relax.
They talked about maybe going back to Coruscant, but Obi-wan cut that idea short.
“We haven’t had any time away either from the battlefields or the operation planning on Coruscant. Rest is important, too. Let’s recharge in the next few days.”
“Then when the boys get here we can dive straight back into action.” Anakin added, already on board. Ahsoka looked between the two of them, then shot a pointed look towards the courtyard.
“Swimming pool?” she asked. So far they had no time to try it out.
“Not in this weather” Anakin looked out through the doors. Over the low roofs of the building, the clouds were grey. It was raining intermittently.
“Not exactly pool weather,” Obi-wan was still cheerful despite it, “but good for a barbecue.”
The other two met his enthusiasm with doubt.
“Master Kenobi, it’s raining.” Ahsoka stated, just in case he missed the obvious. She could find no other explanation.
“Thank the Force for whoever had invented the umbrella, than.” He smiled at them once more before getting up from the sofa and getting ready to head out.
 Off to the side of the lounge doors in front of every apartment was a small enclosed area with tiled floor, surrounded with low walls and small shrubs. There was enough room for a table and four chairs on one side and a pair of sunbeds opposite. It also had a built in grill with a cover over it at about shoulder height but no roof for whoever was standing in front of it.
Ahsoka and Anakin decided to stick to the lounge, reading their datapads and watching holos. They occasionally looked outside at Obi-wan, grilling away in his purple shirt decorated with palm leaves. He was using one hand to hold whatever utensil he needed and the other to hold the colourful umbrella. He even twirled it once in a while.
They thought him a bit silly, standing outside in the gloomy weather and messing with the smoky grill when they had a very well equipped and rain-free kitchen. Until he came back indoors with a pile of grilled meats and vegetables.
“Get those salads we ordered earlier, please. Time for dinner.”
Ahsoka retrieved the stack of dishes they had ordered from the Crescent’s own kitchen. Obi-wan piled up a plate for her with meats, and shared out the veggies between Anakin and himself, then they all had their pick from the salads. Anakin pestered Ahsoka light heartedly about her not eating her veggies, and she showed her carnivore canines to him as answer. But they both thanked Obi-wan for making the majority of the food, and for making it delicious. 
“Lets hope the weather turns soon” he answered before tucking in.
 The colourful wooden building the opposite of their apartment on the other side of the pool, turned out to be a shed housing treasures, at least according to Ahsoka. When they had woken up to clear skies and sunshine the that morning, it was all she could do to wolf down her breakfast porridge before she raced outside.
On their third day, it finally did, and they broke out the pool equipment.
Anakin followed her.
“I think I should supervise. I don’t want the pool to end up with rainbow bubbles.” He got up, and Obi-wan stopped with the spoon halfway to his mouth. That was something that didn’t occur to him before. Than he reminded himself that they were on officially mandated holiday, and the employees of the Crescent assured them that everything is safe that was stored around the pool for guests to use. He hoped safe didn’t mean skin coloured to purple and teal patches that takes weeks of three rounds of daily sonic use to fade away.
The sun was still low but started to rise above the rooftops surrounding the courtyard. It made him remember another thing he had learned the hard way. He gathered the dishes but left the washing up for later, then he followed his former padawan and their current padawan outside.
The sun had already dried up any remnants of puddles on the tiled courtyard. He did spot some dew on the patches of lawns between the poolside and the individual terraces but only where there was till shadow. He knew the last reminders of the past few rainy days will vanish before noon and the meteorology service promised sunshine with a bit of breeze for the coming days. Perfect poolside weather.
He caught up with the younger ones and peaked over their shoulders. They were combing through the contents of the pool shed, at the moment inspecting the second shelf from the left. It had colourful boxes on the top shelves and some larger containers at the bottom.
“What are those?” He asked, and the other two jumped. “Sorry.”
Anakin waved him to not worry about it, and shoved him one of the boxes.
“Inflatables. There’s an airpump over there,” he pointed at a small machine in the corner, “and we are trying to choose.”
“I want the thranta. They are adorable.” Ahsoka said, showing the box already in her hand. Anakin raised an eyebrow.
“Those are aiwhas, obviously. The shape of the head…”
Ahsoka leaned forward, ready to argue with him. Obi-wan threw his palms up, stopping them.
“Argue later, please. For now, I want to remind you two to a very important thing.”
They both turned to him and showered him with guesses.
”Not to drown in the pool?” ”Not to pee in the pool?””Anakin! Where did you get that idea?!””The boys, obviously…”No eating in the pool!””No datapads, they aren’t actually waterproof.””Wear haircaps!””Not me!””Wear goggles?“
“Stop, please.” Obi-wan sighed, and the other two calmed down a bit. “I meant sunscreen. Plenty of sunscreen.” He paused, then looked at each of them in turn. “Learned that the hard way.”
“I smell a good story” grinned Ahsoka.
“I smell a funny story” Anakin added. Obi-wan rolled his eyes.
“If you want to know, yes, at one time I gut a sunburn so bad after a mere afternoon outside that I needed medical care. My face was red for two weeks and I needed to slather enough cooling lotion on myself that it would’ve covered a grown thranta. Or an aiwha.”
The other two tried not to laugh. Obi-wan was so pale, it was hard to imagine him all red, but they managed it of course. And it was hilarious. Only their respect for him stopped them to laugh at him, at least whilst he was standing in front of them.
“I haven’t seen any in the house, I guess people bring their own with them when they come here. I’ll put on a delivery request for them. Until that arrives, you two stay out of direct sunlight.” Again he looked at each of them in turn. It must have been really important to him if he was putting so much emphasis on it. “You don’t want to end up all red like I did back then.”
“Well that would be terrible” Ahsoka deadpanned, looking at her arms. Obi-wan smiled.
“I apologize. I should have worded that differently.”
“Like ‘burned like a crispy stuffed tomato’ for example?” Anakin volunteered. Obi-wan shot him a look but there was humour behind it. He left them to continue their exploration and went back to the lounge to put the order in on his datapad.
 The shed was a treasure throw. Neither of them had ever been to a place like this. They did swim at the temple’s pool but that was for learning and training. They never had the opportunity yet to just have fun with some water. It was extra nice that it wasn’t a beach - no sand. Anakin could never get used to having sand around water. Sand was desert, aridity, and water was everything the desert wasn’t. He could also never wrap his mind around the fact that the larger the body of water the more sand it’s shores tended to have.
Or that people went there willingly not just to swim but to play in the sand. For him, that substance was hard, gritty life, and when having fun, he didn’t wanted to be reminded of that.
Ahsoka had no such qualms, although she knew about her master’s aversion and she sympathised with him.
 By the time Obi-wan had arrived with the sunscreen sometime later, the other two had a competition going on. The airpump stood unused by their side and they were trying to inflate their respective pool floats using only their own lung capacities.
“That’s futile but a valiant effort” Obi-wan commented, and the other two threw him the annoyed look of the young. “I also have the sunscreen here, if you two need a break.”
They didn’t, of course, and they continued their strenuous competition. Watching the other two getting more and more winded whilst their floats where still barely more than colourful limp piles at their feet, Obi-wan sat down at one of the sunbeds around the pool with his yellow-green-red spotted towel and started to put lotion on his skin methodically.
“Do you need help, master?” Anakin asked some time later. Obi-wan looked up to see that they had stopped - and barely made progress - and were both looking at him. He shook his head, a bit confused about the question.
“No, I can manage, thank you Anakin.”
The other two exchanged looks than turned back to him. Than he realized. He was finished with the front of his torso and his shoulders; next would be his back. Which they thought would be a problem for poor old Obi-wan, obviously.
“Don’t worry I can reach my own back.” He turned around so they could see, and hooked his hands together behind his back, one arm over his shoulder the other reaching up from below. “See?”
He turned around and the other two had the grace to look a bit embarrassed. He didn’t blame them. He might’ve had similar thoughts about others at their age.
“Now how are those floats going?” he asked while his hands were working on his back.
“Abysmal.” “Hopeless.” “Futile.” “They are faulty.” “Yes, I bet they have holes on them.”
Obi-wan shot a look at them that made them stop.
“Well, I guess, we should admit defeat…”Anakin conceded, “and just use the machine.”
“Yes, I think that’s a good idea, master” agreed Ahsoka too.
They went over to the machine and in a few minutes they had two colourful, vaguely air-whale shaped mattresses. Ahsoka’s one was teal and turquoise and gray, while Anakin had a pink-blue-yellow one for himself.
“Would you like one too, master?” They already started to walk towards the shed.
“No thank you Anakin, I’ll chose one later after I finished.”
“It’s not a problem” and they already vanished. Obi-wan sighed, wondering what will he get. Between his shirts that Ahsoka cheerfully picked out for him every morning - he had a pink one on with tiny porgs all over it today- and his towels - those he choose himself, but the selection for both ranged from “cheerfully bright” through “interesting pattern” to “what where they on when they designed this”- he probably wore more colour in this past few days than usually did in a standard year, disguises included. He decided to wait to see what they chose for him, than he’d just have make his own choice if he doesn't like their selection.
 He didn’t liked it. It was some large bird, green and purple, and unlike theirs, wasn’t flat but shaped like a very awkward chair. So he went and rummaged around, settling on a large torus shaped something in all the colours of the rainbow. He was already covered in colours, so he thought why not go all out.
They air-whales were already floating on the water. Anakin and Ahsoka were sitting at the edge of the pool near them, hanging their legs into the water, passing the sunscreen bottle back and forth between them. After inflating his own device, Obi-wan saw that they were taking the task of screening up seriously. He got hold of the doughnut firmly, took a two careful steps to speed up than jumped onto the water. As he landed, he splashed up a good deal of water - straight at the two younger ones.
“Master!” he heard the two indignant voices. He turned to look at them innocently.
“Yes my dears?”
They had water dripping all over them. He knew they’ll get back at him later. He padded away, looking for the small portable music device he remembered seeing somewhere beside the pool. Might as well have some music too.
 Their attack was coordinated and well executed. Anakin floated in front of him, blocking his view and chatting with him. Under that cover, Ahsoka managed to round him unnoticed, then at a sign they both grabbed his doughnut and upturned it, tossing him into the water.
“Vengeance!” the yelled, laughing, as Obi-wan resurfaced spluttering, shaking his hair out of his eyers. Their alliance broke up almost immediately as their floats bumped into each other and they started to jostle.
“Hey, mind the thranta!” Ahsoka warned.
“It’s an aiwha.” Anakin pushed her, and her mattress wobbled heavily, threatening to throw her off.
“Yours maybe. This one isn't.”
They argued back and forth about the properties of the different air-whale species until they managed to knock each other off their respective float. All three in the water, the fight turned to everyone for themselves. Ahsoka was the shortest but also the most agile, and she swam around the other two like a fish. Anakin and Obi-wan was evenly matched, and they managed to push each other under the water and being pushed down by the other about equal frequency. Ahsoka won the battle when she remembered that she saw some long, straight foam rolls in the shed and whilst the other two was occupying themselves she sneaked out to get them Than she slapped them both on top of their heads, making them admitting defeat.
 When they got too tired - and hungry - they climbed out of the water and wrapped up in their oversized towels. Ahsoka’s was so large it covered her like a tent, but she loved the one she had and kept in on: it had tookas all over it. Than they fired up the barbecue again. This time Obi-wan had help, mostly because the other two were really hungry. After eating, he pulled out a second box of deliveries, just when they were getting ready to get back into the water.
“What are those?”
The largish box was full with bottles and jars, their contents a rainbow of colours.
“This, dear Ahsoka,” Obi-wan checked his datapad, “ well, let me read out the official product designation. This is a ‘The starter box every pool party needs if you want to avoid your guests getting too rowdy, touchy or messing up your place in one way or another - Everything You Need to Make Your Own Mocktails, Starter pack for twelve guests’. This was the smallest package, the others were for 24, 30, 50 or even more guests.”
“That’s how they called their product?” Anakin dug into the box, pulling out a jar with small golden fruits in it. It harmonised with the shirt he had on, with songbirds. “And they are still in business…”
“Who has twelve guest?” was Ahsoka’s observation.
“Here are some recipes” Obi-wan handed a small puck to her. She pushed a button on the cheap plastic gadget and a cheery hologram of an assortment of colourful drinks in fancy glasses showed up. She scrolled to the next picture, and there was indeed a recipe for the simplest of drinks under it.
“Syrup, water, bubbles - where do we get bubbles?” she mused.
“I think there’s a gadget for that. All is supposed to be in the box.” Obi-wan shrugged.
They all choose from the supplied list than set to measure and shake and stir. The first round was a success.
“Let’s try some of the more complicated ones” Anakin suggested only halfway into his drink. Ahsoka scrolled through the recipes and they found one that they both liked.
“How about this one. ‘Chandrilla Sunrise’. Phew, long list, but doesn’t seem too complicated.”
Their first try failed, predictably.
“Focus, padawan. I think we’ll have to follow the instructions by the letter.” Anakin furrowed his brows.
“Oh dear, that’s terrible” commented Obi-wan, than he turned back to his own holopad quickly. “I’ll will just look up some more tricks and recipes while you two… brew.”
They messed up something again. The colours didn’t stay separate bands but blended together into a muddy mix. Obi-wan found the root of their problem.
“The recipe doesn’t mention it, but here it says you have to keep each syrup chilled before pouring them into the glass, than wait a bit for it to warm up to air temperature before adding the next one.” The other two made a ‘hmm, gotcha’ noise simultaneously. “Other advise is to chill the glass beforehand.”
“Let’s try those ideas.” Anakin’s enthusiasm renewed, they got back to work on their third glass. It was a success, finally. Then they had to repeat the process two more times so each of them had a glass for themselves. Decorating them with straws, paper shapes that went over the edge and extra candied fruits.
Ahsoka exchanged her towel to a blue dress with puffy pink clouds printed on it, then turned the volume up on the music player before picking up her glass again. The sun was shining, their bellies were full and no one was shooting at them. It was a great day.
 The sun was slowly getting lower over the rooftops. Music was playing at an acceptable volume now after Ahsoka started to go a bit overboard before and they had to shout to hear each other. Some of the sunbeds were covered with towels and wraps and hats as they tossed them aside when not needed. They took turns on the slide, having a competition about who could make the biggest splash when crashing into the water. Anakin seemed to be in the lead.
“It’s not fair, you are just taller, that’s your advantage!” Ahsoka complained as they stood at the edge of the pool. Obi-wan agreed with her.
“Yes, he doesn’t use any technique aside of stretching out all limbs.”
Anakin grinned at them.
“You two are just sore losers.” Then he suddenly turned and with a single step, reached the edge of the pool and jumped. The other two barely had enough time to turn away before he smashed into the pool, splashing plenty of water at them.
 After declaring Anakin the splasher champion, him and Ahsoka got back on their floats for another round of foam-noodle duel and general splashing about. Obi-wan had stuck to his datapad, still reading about drink-making tricks and flavour harmonization and fruit types. He floated around on his doughnut as far as possible from the ruckus the other two were making, sipping from his glass with an umbrella in it and a fruit rind over its edge. By the end of the day, he had made almost a dozen different drinks, and they never had to float around long without one in hand, or put aside at the edge of the pool.
“Don’t forget to visit the fresher if you need to, master” Ahsoka reminded Anakin, who shot her a look of mock offence.
“Now why would you say that?” He took a sip of his drink, than furrowed his brow. “Actually that's not that bad of an idea.”
It took him a while to paddle to the edge of the pool using only one hand.
“You can do it, master!” “Use your legs!” “Don’t drop the glass, I spent half hour on that one!” was just a few of the advice he had received.
He mock- growled back at them then laughed himself as he finally climbed up onto the tiles.
“I'm so proud of you” Obi-wan told him, and raised his glass, Ahsoka’s giggling behind him.
They stayed out after the sun had already set, than gathered up their their stuff and went to sleep tired but happy.
 Just like the day before, Anakin and Ahsoka spent most of the day in the pool. They got very good at jumping in from the edge of the pool without their feet slipping on the wet tiles. When they got tired of that, they flopped onto their respective air-whales and padded about, occasionally bumping into each other and having a wrestling match. Obi-wan had joined them before, after the sun dipped a bit lower after the glare of the middle of the day. He even jumped in himself a few times, though he enjoyed the slide more. He was now making a late afternoon meal; the leftovers were all gone and he was happy to muck about the barbecue yet again.
He heard some noises from outside. It was quiet aside of the splashing coming from the pool and the noises made by the small portable music player. Maybe they were getting some neighbours before the officers arrived. They were expecting them the next day, no later than noon. Then the noises grew louder and he could tell that they were definitely made by sentients, and were getting closer. He stuck his head out around the barbecue’s wall and peaked towards the courtyard entrance, just in time to see the approaching group of clone officers step out into the sunshine. They burst into hollering upon seeing them, and when Ahsoka and Anakin noticed them they greeted them from the water with equal enthusiasm.
Obi-wan sighed. How lucky, he thought, that he spent the last afternoon studying how to make mocktails. He checked that everything that was on the grill could be left there for a little while, than he wiped his hands on his ‘Best chef in the sector’ apron and got his datapad.
As the officers gathered around the pool, chatting with Anakin and Ahsoka and no doubt planning to get in the water as soon as possible, he opened the delivery service on his datapad. He run through the items in his head that they’ll need to feed everyone. And the drink supplies too.
Maybe he can get some of them to help out with the food and drink preparations - if he can drag them from the pool first.
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newswcanonprompts · 4 years
Text
Palpondo, Shondo, Sheevondo... whatever you want to call it
we are clowns and star wars is a sad but also fun circus and im so sorry for this but LET ME TELL YALL A STORY
THE STORY OF PALPONDO
can you guess what’s coming? buckle up and join us in our clown car parade
so palpatine is fun to write, because you can have him do anything because “it serves him” or “it amuses him”
you know who that sounds like?
hondo. (by the way this also hinges on hondo being immortal, because somehow he’s alive in the sequel trilogy, and no fucking way hondo ohnaka ever gets old because that’s not good business, it’s not at all profitable)
palaptine is a confirmed capatalist... but also, he’s now hondo’s shady immortal sith pirate husband
they are the most chaotic self serving pirate husbands the galaxy has ever seen
this started because maybe palpatine had a fight with plaegueis where he casts out palps and so now palpatine is all alone, and then a pirate crew finds him, so he joins, secretly plotting to take them over, but then... love
now, palps isn’t planning on actually joining the crew, he shall pretend, and he will manipulate them into being his pawns so he can get some money or something, but Oh No now he kinda feels bad about it-
they’d rarely get along, and they’d probably get divorced every other week because palpatine would try to kill hondo’s Very Best Friend obi-wan kenobi and hondo doesn’t like that
insert angry hate sex  IM SO SORRY I JUST TYPED THAT and i apologize for searing that into your memories (by the way hondo is on top, palpatine thought he would be but he was incorrect)
okay i’m so sorry we’re like this, this discussion just... somehow happened (AND MAYBE ITS MY FAULT FOR BRINGING SHIPPING UP IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT IM NOT SORRY @simpskywalker SORRY POKE LOVE YOU BUT ALSO MWAHAHA)
anyways back in the clown car i go
love, @ayo-cowbelly
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galacticidiots · 4 years
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Disclaimer: this is a “tin foil hat firmly ON” kind of post. It’s wild speculation. I’m interested in hearing what you guys have to say.
So here’s what we know about Project Luminous:
“Project Luminous is an upcoming project being worked on by Cavan Scott, Claudia Gray, Charles Soule, Daniel José Older, and Justina Ireland, which spans both comics and books to tell one cohesive story. It will be released in 2020. Details about the codenamed event will be revealed in January of that year.”
The project was announced at SW Celebration in Chicago in April 2019. The contributing authors were approached during summer 2018, when principal photography for TROS was already underway. They were brought to Skywalker Ranch in September 2018, where they workshopped ideas along with Lucasfilm Publishing Group and Lucasfilm Story Group.
At NYCC, they revealed the authors involved — notably, Claudia Gray (author of Bloodine and Leia, Princess of Alderaan and Charles Soule, author of The Rise of Kylo Ren) and revealed a clue:
“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things…. Until…Project Luminous, 2020.”
Now, some of you are are familiar with the TV show Star Wars: Rebels. There’s an episode where Ezra goes into a place called the World Between Worlds, which he is able to access through a portal on a Jedi Temple on Lothal. While walking around the place, he hears several voices: Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon, Ahsoka, Leia, Maz, Rey & Kylo (does this remind anyone else of anything? 👀). He then looks through a portal and sees Ahsoka Tano fighting Anakin, which he knows ends with her death. He is able to pull her to safety, saving Ahsoka and changing the past.
So... what does this all mean? Probably nothing. But I find the timing of the project highly suspicious. They’re holding off on releasing any details until TROS is out everywhere. The quote they used as the clue is also intriguing.
Is it possible that Disney greenlit Ben’s ‘death’ because they are about to launch Project Luminous, which will focus on Rey‘s efforts to rescue Ben from wherever he is, maybe even a World Between Worlds kind of place? Is that why he didn’t become a Force ghost? Is the scene on Tatooine with her looking out into the sunset, carrying her new yellow saber the beginning of a new adventure?
LF said the Skywalker saga movies were done, but this project is all book based.
Like I said, this is all spec. But hey, when you’re already a clown, you might as well join the circus.
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juliettecai · 3 years
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tagged by @wrenhal​ , thank you cossette <33
i’m going to include both edits on this blog and on my tv + film + music blog @ladystano because some of the questions mention gifs and i post most of my gifs on my other blog!
first creation and most recent creation of 2020: i only started editing on tumblr in april this year, so i’m going to have to expose my first litblr edit ever (let’s never talk about this one again, also i’m sjm critical). my most recent creation is this inej ghafa edit.
one of your favorite creations from 2020: this night circus edit!
a creation you’re really proud of: this ahsoka and anakin/vader gifset!
a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: i played with transitions in this gifset, and it was inspired by this gifset by derin @ahskatano.
a creation that took you forever: this six of crows edit. it did take a while to make the edit, but the main reason it took forever was because my photoshop was lagging, as it usually is. :’)
your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this hayden christensen gifset.
a creation you think deserved more notes: from my litblr, this warcross x lost in japan gif/edit. from my tv/film/music blog, this gifset, simply because it breaks my heart.
a creation with a favorite scene/quote: this moment of pure obi-wan snarkiness, which i made for prequelsnet.
a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: i read the grishaverse books in march (i think) of this year, so here’s one i made for zoya nazyalensky!
a creation you made that breaks your heart: this aforementioned ahsoka and anakin/vader gifset. i’m never going to get over their story, send tissues please.
a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: i took a very minimalistic approach to this percy jackson and the olympians edit and it turned out quite nicely.
a creation that was inspired by another one (add both your creation and the one that inspired it!): i’ve mentioned this one already but this night circus edit, inspired by this absolutely beautiful tiloal edit by @blacktwiste!
a favorite creation created by someone else: this one! the comic book style is stunning.
some of your favorite content creators from the year: @wrenhal , @blacktwiste , @buffonia , @kagetatsumis , @arithmancy , @chenemikas , @antinomes , @kadygrants , @tessawilliam , @sidekickz , @ahskatano , @margeaery , @obi--wans , @anakin-skywalker and so many others!
and for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: this gopaf edit, this june iparis edit, this lotr gifset, this peeta edit, this evermore edit, and this tiloal cover mockup!
tagging everyone who was mentioned above and hasn’t done this yet!! (no pressure <3)
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fionajames · 7 months
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tcw circus au
this is for @lovejoysoots, this is the second part of your request.
guys i have no fucking idea wtf this is but like here, i rlly rlly rlly enjoyed writing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is the third piece of writing of four im posting today (srsly dont hold me to that tho) enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahsoka cracked her knuckles yet again, rolling her shoulders back and pushing her three blue and white plaits back. The younger girl had orange-tan skin, creamy birthmarks that looked more like markings, bright blue eyes and very long blue and white hair that she always tied in three plaits.
The acrobatic raced forwards in a sprint, launching herself off of the caravan’s roof and landing lightly on the tightrope strung up behind the caravans and the stage. Ahsoka breathed a sigh of relief as she dropped from the rope and onto the mat below, high-fiving Anakin.
Anakin had medium length messy brown hair, swimming blue eyes, light skin and a scar covering his right eye that no one really knows how he got, as he changes the cause every time. Standing next to him was Obi-Wan, who had ginger hair around the same length as Anakin’s, a ginger beard, freckled light skin and calm blue eyes. 
The three worked closely together as Anakin had been Obi-Wan’s apprentice and then Ahsoka was Anakin’s. They all worked in Acrobatics but Ahsoka was also very talented in Equestrian Vaulting. They were like brothers and sister, and everyone in the circus knew it. “Good job, little one,” Obi-Wan told her and she beamed at him as he also high-fived her. “Arsev is ready.”
Ahsoka beamed and nodded as she and Anakin headed to the stables to get their own horses. Ahsoka’s horse was a male red and white paint horse called Arsev, and Anakin’s was a blue roan quarter horse named Artoo. Sure, the horses' names were weird, but they all had meanings. 
“Are you ready for tonight?” Anakin asked as he led Artoo from his stable, walking by the horse’s shoulder. Ahsoka did the same, playing with the end of Arsev’s mane as she did. 
“Always am,” she told him with a smirk, waving to her best friend - a teenaged boy several years older named Rex - as he walked past. Rex came from a huge family that had all been orphaned and he and a huge portion of his brothers had joined their circus. 
“Well that’s good,” Anakin told her with a light shove to her shoulder. She gasped dramatically and pushed him back. “Race you to the river!” He shouted as he jumped on Artoo, racing off in the direction with a laugh.
“Rude,” Ahsoka snarled as she grasped the horn of the saddle, throwing herself up onto her horse in one quick motion. “Let’s go beat this bitch’s ass, Arsev,” she told her horse before chasing after Anakin.
                              -
After Ahsoka and Arsev beat Anakin and Artoo in every single race he declared - even though Anakin denied losing every single time - they ended up at the 212th’s caravan. They’d given all of the caravans numbers - random numbers, there weren’t actually hundreds of caravans - and grouped various people into them.
The 212th’s caravan consisted of Obi-Wan, Cody, Boil, Waxer, Trapper and Oddball, and they’d painted their caravan yellow and white. Ahsoka and Anakin were in the 501st caravan - although they’d given Ahsoka a hammock so she was out of sight from the others, for privacy - with Rex, Fives, Echo, Tup, Jesse and Hardcase. Although some of the names were strange, a lot of the boys had changed their both names to their nicknames upon joining the circus. 
There were more caravans everywhere including the main caravan which consisted of the ringmaster - a cool, crazy, short man called Yoda - his second-in-command - a tall, stern-ish man called Mace - and the rest of their group - Shaak, Kit, Ki-Adi and Plo. 
Although, Plo had moved to be with his sons - they weren’t really his sons but he’d basically adopted all of them - in the 104th with Wolffe, Sinker, Boost and Comet. Plo had basically adopted most of the circus members and Yoda had gone along with it.
“Hey, Cody!” Ahsoka chirped as the man leapt down from the roof of his caravan, landing beside her with a smile.
“Hey, kid, how’s it going?” The boy asked, ruffling her hair and laughing when she grimaced at the action. 
“Not bad!” She told him with a grin, swatting his hand away. “I’m going to visit the boss.”
Cody laughed and pushed her in Yoda’s caravan lightly. “Off you go then.” 
Ahsoka skipped to the Jedi caravan - why’d they’d named it ‘Jedi’ no one really remembered - as she waved and greeted everyone she saw along the way. “Yoda, are you in here?” She knocked and smiled when she was met with the familiar short man. Yoda had very long white and green hair and a beard to match it, with the same colours. He had gleaming, wise green eyes and light skin. 
“Hello, Ahsoka,” he greeted and Ahsoka gave him a smile. “Ready for the show tonight, you are?” Ahsoka nodded, very used to his strange way of talking. Everyone was. No one could remember why he did it, or even if he could not do it.
“Yes, Yoda!” She saluted playfully. 
“Then with Fives, you should go,” Yoda told her, poking her with the end of his walking stick - a brown stick with interesting, swirling patterns. “Guard the money, you shall.”
Ahsoka laughed and nodded, turning to leave. “Yes sir!” She shouted as she hurried to meet her friend.
                            -
Hours later, Ahsoka was stood with a huge grin as she played with Arsev’s mane, getting ready to head into the ring. As Mace introduced her, the crowd cheered. “Ready, Snips?” Anakin asked, ruffling her hair as always.
“Always, Skyguy.”
Ahsoka took Arsev’s reign and led him into the ring with her, letting go as she did. She bowed as the crowd cheered, Arsev beginning to canter around the ring. Ahsoka sucked in a breath as she reached an arm out as the horse went past, grasping onto the horn of the saddle and pulling herself up and onto the saddle in one quick motion.
As the crowd cheered, Ahsoka began standing up on Arsev’s saddle, spreading her arms out for balance. She moved into a handstand with a grin as she spotted Anakin, Obi-Wan and Rex cheering her on from behind the curtains. 
Ahsoka continued to do her routine with many, many impressive manoeuvres. After she’d finished, Hardcase, Jesse and Fives entered the stage and did their usual comedy routine - something that made absolutely everyone laugh. Rex and Cody then performed their music act - which everyone found hypnotising and stunning. 
Then Obi-Wan and Anakin entered the stage to do their acrobatics act. As usual, the crowd was astounded as Obi-Wan dangled Anakin from the top of the ropes - metres in the air - and threw him up in the air. Anakin did a flip before Obi-Wan caught his feet again. 
They continued their performance until the show was over, when groups of the performers left for Rex, Cody and some others to busk. 
“You were great, Snips,” Anakin told Ahsoka as she pulled out her violin - which she played fiddle style - and grabbed his own guitar. 
“So were you, Skyguy,” she told him. 
“Everyone was great,” Obi-Wan told them, entering the caravan to watch. 
“That’s for sure.”
hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!!!!!! im very tempted to do more of this so tell me if i should!!!!!!!!!!!!!
request people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like im being srs. pls.
ps. OMG I JUST REALISED THAT THE SEPPIES CAN BE A RIVAL CIRCUS 😲
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cogentranting · 4 years
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Clone Wars 5x08 Liveblog: Does Anakin Ever Even Work with His Apprentice?
Kids, you don’t even have weapons. Please don’t go rescue Ahsoka. 
I mean really, I don’t think Obi Wan even thought to TELL Anakin that his padawan was kidnapped by pirates
I love Gungi’s lightsaber, like I love Gungi. 
Okay, they have weapons now, but that only makes any attempt for them to go rescue Ahsoka like 3% better
R2 you are being a terrible babysitter. 
Honestly, all Hondo wants to do is ransom Ahsoka, any attempt for her to escape or be rescued is really the only thing that’s gonna put her in danger. 
Greivous and Obi Wan try to kill each other like every other week if this show is to be believed. 
DON’T LEAVE R2 ON THE SHIP HE’S THE ONLY ADULT
Ok at least Hondo is trying to like sell her to bad guys so there IS a real threat to her
They just... ran into a circus... in the middle of the desert... what. 
Obi Wan, as delightful as that sassy message was, if you hadn’t recorded it, you probably would have killed Greivous instead of letting him escape. 
“I’m afraid the younglings are now on their own” well yeah YOU can’t go get them now but maybe you could CALL SOMEONE ELSE TO GO GET THE LITERAL CHILDREN WHO ARE STRANDED FLOATING THROUGH SPACE
a bunch of kids saving a teenager who has been kidnapped by pirates by joining a traveling circus while the adult Jedi are just like  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ is one of the most bizarre things to happen on this show
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atamascolily · 6 years
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A Natural History of Tatooine, part 15/?
In which Luke discovers that even in the middle of the desert, there's no escaping those damn holo films.
(Previous installments.)
Even in the shade of the overhang, sheltered from the glare of the twin suns by the rock walls that loomed overhead, the low humidity was a shock after so long in the Yavin jungle. The air was so... thin here, and it was much easier for him to move and breathe, even as it wicked precious moisture away from his body. The gravity, too, was slightly lighter than Yavin's, and it took less energy to move than he was used to.
He might have grown up hating this sandy dustball, but even after a decade away, on some level his body still recognized this place as home.
<i>I don't even know where home is anymore. Coruscant, where Leia and Han are? Yavin, with the Academy? Tor always knew Sawarra was home, even when she was in exile--but somehow, this isn't the kind of home I imagined for myself...</i>
He circled the ship, wincing at the scratch marks that covered the the ventral and posterior ends of the ship - the belly and tail of the "carp", but relieved to discover only cosmetic damage, nothing that would keep them off the ground. He peeked out of the underhang, but there was no sign of any ships overhead.
The rocks around them were a dark purple-grey, flecked with rusty-red flecks where the iron-rich magnetite ores were exposed to air. Sensors got confused down here, and it wasn't uncommon for them to fail outright; it was easier to explore the canyon blind than rely on technology to see for you. It was just as well he hadn't mentioned that particular fact to Tor at the outset, or else she might have forced him to abort the run. And here they were--
"Hello down there!"
Luke looked up to see an old human male dressed in faded grey robes shimmying down the canyon wall above him on a coarse rope ladder. Like Obi-wan, the man's face was lined and weathered from the harsh glare of the twin suns, but his beard was long and ragged, and he had threaded colorful strings and fibers into it for decoration. From his attire, Luke guessed he was one of the desert hermits that lived in the canyon--the eponymous "Beggars"--followers of an obscure sect requiring vows of poverty and contemplation. Surprisingly, their vows had never included isolation, and they enjoyed watching the swoop races from the shelters they carved into the cliff faces, often bantering and betting with spectators on the outcomes.
"You must be Luke Skywalker, I recognize you from the holos." A squint and a frown as the man descended. "You're shorter than I expected," he decided, eight feet above Luke's head.
"I get that a lot," Luke muttered. He ought to have known he couldn't remain completely anonymous here. Even after all these years, the locals considered him one of their own.
"What are you doing here?" the old man said as he dropped down to the ground beside Luke. "Have you come to re-enact the finest moments from <i>Luke Skywalker and the Dragon Pearl of the Desert</i>, where you battle a three-headed krayt dragon for the mystical jewel that will grant you control of the universe? --That was always my favorite," he added as a quick aside. "Or is this the scene in <i>Luke Skywalker and the Horrors of the Jundland</i>, where you must race the Sand People to an ancient fortress home to a powerful Jedi spirit, which both the Empire and a Hutt crime cartel claim as their own? Or is this one--I forget the title--where you fall in love with a red-haired dancing girl and take up circus performing with a trained rancor--"
"Actually, it's something else," Luke said, as he realized that the old man wasn't all there in his mind. Of all the things he'd expected to find on Tatooine, a holo-fan with a shaky grasp of reality hadn't been one of them. "Top-secret mission. <i>Very</i> classified. The fate of the New Republic depends on us. I can say no more!"
The hermit bowed and saluted. "Never fear, hero, your secret is safe with me! Ah, and who is this?" he asked, as Tor came down the gangplank towards them.
"My trusty sidekick," Luke said, enjoying the look of surprise on Tor's face as she processed the situation. "We sought shelter in your canyon when we were pursued by lawless brigands; I beg your pardon for disturbing the peaceful meditations of you and your holy brotherhood."
The hermit shook his first in the air. "You find us in hard times, Luke Skywalker--and yet, I confess, there has never been a time when life was not hard here."
"Don't I know it," Luke muttered under his breath.
"But I hope you'll accept what poor hospitality we of the Holy Brotherhood  can offer you. Would you and your sidekick care to join me for an evening meal?" the hermit asked. "Afterwards, Brother Amaeo and I will be watching <i>Luke Skywalker and the Phoenix Women of Deshar Nebula</i>, a personal favorite of his. We'd love to have your perspective on what <i>really</i> happened after the New Republic government covered up the secret Imperial installation that created those brave, doomed, creatures."
In Luke's opinion, <i>Luke Skywalker and the Phoenix Women of Deshar Nebula</i> was one of the more execrable holo-films with his name in the title--crossing the line from titillation to outright pornography without bothering to flirt with the truth in the process--but Tor interjected before he could speak.
"Of course we would! Right, <i>Master Skywalker</i>?" she said, directing a thousand-watt smile in Luke's direction.
Luke sighed inwardly. He ought to have known Tor would make him pay for the sidekick line. The old man was eccentric, but he seemed harmless enough and Luke didn't sense anything in the Force that would suggest duplicity or malice. And it wasn't as if he had anything else to do right now except wait for their pursuers to clear out.
"All right," he said, wondering what the hell he was getting himself into. Again.
He rolled his eyes as Tor cheered and used her slave remote to close the gangplank of the <i>Destiny</i> behind her.
The old man was already scaling the rope ladder back up the way he had come, shouting that it might <i>look</i> ragged but was strong enough to hold all three of them at once.
<i>This trip might be painful but at least it hasn't been boring</i>, he thought as he tested the hermit's rope ladder and readied himself for the climb.
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