Lightsaber Theory: Obi-Wan "Sith Lords are Our Specialty" Kenobi consistently loses duels to Dooku not for any reason of technical form mismatch or lack of ability, but because Dooku is not even pretending to try to kill him. Resultantly, Obi-Wan can’t figure out what the fuck is going on when they fight. 

Obi-Wan: (preparing to defend an expected lethal strike) You’ll answer for your enormities, Count!

Dooku: (giving him the lightest love tap on the leg) Don’t be so sure, my special good lineage baby boy, so perfect in my eyes. 

Obi-Wan: …What?

Dooku: What?

Which Dooku and Obi-Wan proud lineage moment is even the most unhinged? There are so many to choose from! Is it Dooku’s frequent inability, both in AotC and TCW, to keep from spontaneously gushing about Sidious’s plans and even his own dark secrets to Obi-Wan?? Is it the time in Labyrinth of Evil where Dooku drags a long-suffering, bored Grievous over to watch a holorecording of Anakin and Obi-Wan thwarting his plans yet again, to point out how beautifully they’re working together as a team and how much he likes watching their lightsaber work evolve? Is it in the recent Brotherhood novel, where Obi-Wan just has to casually namedrop Qui-Gon to get Dooku to do exactly what he wants?

Obi-Wan is a big problem for Sidious in his mission to destabilize and corrupt Anakin, and Sidious knows it. He needs him out of the picture to do the same isolating, evil bullshit that worked so well when ensnaring Dooku himself. But the war has been going on for years now, and guess who remains inconveniently alive? And whose job was that to take care of? Oh yeah. I remember. His useless, Padawan assassin-collecting apprentice: fucking Count Dooku. By the time of RotS, Sidious has specifically ordered Dooku to make fucking sure Obi-Wan is dead only for him to completely ignore the command about a half-dozen times.

Going by the Stover RotS novelization, in the same scene where Dooku also literally refers to Obi-Wan as his fucking grandson actually, add that to our earlier list, Sidious reiterates that KILL OBI-WAN is the plan (over the sound of Dooku’s loud complaining) moments before that final duel.  I kind of wish we’d gotten a shot of Sidious's incredulous, enraged expression as Dooku knocks Obi-Wan unconscious and pins him safely out of the way. He is, once again, going out of his way to not kill Obi-Wan in that duel, and this time directly disobeying his Master to his face after they just had a conversation about it. You just know exactly what Sidious must be thinking at that moment. Oh, Dooku. You are so fucking fired.

hope everyone's having a stoament wednesday

underrated way barbatos being a greed demon is shown pretty well is that he clearly has a thing about dressing mc up

my brain: zoro says he doesn't believe in god but he's been luffy's first and most devoted follower since the day they met. he was a wandering bounty hunter with no actual way of achieving his goal until he met luffy, who had nothing to offer but his dreams and a place in his nonexistent pirate crew. and zoro, who had every reason to cut him down, instead let himself be led by nothing but two rubbery hands and a too-big smile. zoro was the first person to ever call luffy "pirate king"; not future king of the pirates, the pirate king, and he did so as he dedicated his first huge defeat to luffy and has been doing the same for every victory that's followed. he's the most quiet in his affections but his loyalty can never ever be questioned because while he's willing to lay his life down for his captain, it's his willingness to live for luffy that shows how much he understands what his captain needs from him. he may call luffy an idiot and complain about having boarded the wrong ship but no one can deny that the boy who went out of his way to ask demand that he join his crew has become zoro's true north.

me, hitting tweet: zoro suck luffy good and hard thru his jorts

every time the red-hair pirates get a new crew member, benn sits them down for a Talk. rules of the ship, what kind of behavior is expected, what kind of behavior is tolerated, and what kind of behavior will get you keelhauled. near the end of the talk, benn lays down the 3 most important rules:

there is nothing i can do about the homoerotic relationship capt has with the clown

trust in capt always. even if he doesn't look like it, capt has plan. believe always.

there is nothing you can do about the homoerotic relationship capt has with the clown

and as always, the newbie gets it into their head that they can fix capt and the clown and sets up some convoluted plan to get the two back together again. and as always it fails because capt and the clown will dead and rotting in the ground before they ever Talk to each other properly. benn needs a fucking pay raise.

do u ever think about “…for the kingdom you helped me build” “you could’ve done it without me” “maybe” ? do you ever think about that. do u ever think about how merlin literally could have just been a manservant with no powers at all and that convo wouldve still happened. hello. do you.

I often think about seb's last win was in singapore and his last pole was in japan, arguably his two most successful circuits and some of his favorites in the calendar. Real life doesn't follow literary narratives but there is something so beautiful in a send off of your success in the places he loved most, almost as if they loved him and showed it in those moments, a forehead kiss before the end.

i’ve been re-reading the american girl history mysteries on and off here and well. let’s just say that miss brown and miss guerrier from “under copp’s hill” sure seem gay

Psycho // Shadow of a Doubt // The Birds // Strangers on a Train // Notorious

just crawling out of the woodwork to clarify something for a second: if you still post about harry potter, in 2023, after, yknow, Everything. i don’t want you to follow this blog. you will be blocked. doesn’t matter if you think you’re the biggest ally to trans women in the world, propping up the work of a notorious, outspoken terf with the funds to literally morph the politics of the UK into a right wing dumpster fire is a shit move and i don’t want anything to do with you.

early 00s comics be like. everyone was SO mean to stephanie for NO reason.

I do feel bad for Owen. Clearly this is NOT his forte. #freeowen

I'm guessing Owen has some kind of contract to do all the covers for the "Erin Hunter" books, since he also seems to do the art for Bravelands and Survivors. Which baffles me.

When you look at his portfolio, it seems clear that animals are NOT his strong suit. He mostly designs them as monsters or setpieces, not as characters in their own right. His humans, objects, and backgrounds are excellent, while his animals are quite generic-- So why did they choose this artist to design for their xenofiction series?

The art he does for Percy Jackson and Artemis Fowl is not as jilted and uninspired as his work for any of the Erin Hunter series. He does have a thing for harsh lighting (too harsh for my taste) but the composition is fine and the characters are recognizable. Certainly not "someone tried to unlock your phone" tier. It's strange.

It strikes me like he's not "comfortable" enough with animals to experiment with them, heavily referencing zoomed-in photos and leaving it there. Note how his cats are almost never doing anything, just sitting or standing around looking confused.

Has he ever even drawn a battle cat... battling?

I don't really feel "bad" for him, OR "mad" at him, because we have no idea what's happening behind the scenes, but I WILL say that I feel he is an absolutely awful match for WC. I don't understand what about his portfolio made him look like a good replacement for Wayne McLoughlin, besides some executive recognizing his style from somewhere else.

I hope he is compensated well for his work, but I don't buy hardcovers because of his art and am holding out hope that someone else takes over someday.

"He should be in the club." okay but can he say "good lord" like someone twice his age in the club? can he infodump about emulsifiers in the club?? can he steal the trauma of unsuspecting victims to sustain his growing eldritch hunger while at the club????

I am very intrigued by how the "Toa Tool" thing works.

Like, yeah, some are made by Arthaka or other famous universe toolsmiths, but for many matoran-turned-toa, their tools are often related to their professions or straight up are tools they had in hand that are transformed alongside them during the metamorphosis.

Vakama was a mask carver, carving masks from kanoka disks, and his tool turned out to be a launcher that could use the raw materials of his profession as projectiles (well, not a hard thing considering they already are used as projectiles by many, but still...).

Takua's Chronicler staff became Takanuva's Staff of light, a powerful weapon that, coincidentally, could also function as a rather deadly version of a Kohili Stick.

These items also seem to be strongly tied with their own wielder physical being, as the toa Hagah weapons were transformed along their users, but despite this, they can also be left behind for the sake of better equipment (Mahri Kongu) which, although understandable in some cases (Two hands), still feels weird. That's not just a weapon, that's a part of you.

Its such an interesting concept that seems so often discarded in favour of elemental powers and mask, but like... Its YOUR weapon. It is related to a matoran entire being, their life, their experiences and things they enjoy. It's a way to use one's passion in a way that lets them protect others, and often also have additional functions based on what they may need. How cool is that? Think about it.

There could be a toa of ice whose job as a matoran was janitor and their weapon is a mop that can freeze its tendrils and become a morningstar, or generate a frozen layer over what its passed over, painting ice paths in an instant.

There could be a toa of air who had a passion for botany and took care of the MU version of bonsai trees, their precision shears turned into a huge, bulky pair of scissors that can be used as a broadsword that can also manipulate air currents to cut things from distance.

There could be a toa of iron whose main job was welding, and lo and behold, the clunky, cumbersome equipment he struggled to drag around became a big flamethrower that it wears like a backpack, complete with a welding mask integrated on top of their own kanohi as a visor.

There could be a Toa of stone who enjoyed the life of a performer, juggling, somersaulting, doing precision throws and whose tool is now a set of spiky or bladed clubs that can bounce on surfaces and enemies alike and then return to them.

A toa of Psionics whose dream to write stories manifested into a strange staff, originally their writing stylus, able to manifest masterful illusions by writing words inside the enemy minds and trap them in stories through the mere strength of their narration.

I want you to see these

Loving you

Bye 🖖🏻

.