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foundationsofdecay · 24 days

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Thinking again about this post that @a-s-levynn made a while back, as well as @moonchild-in-blue's and @tonguetyd's comments there, about Vessel and the mask's own identity and the idea of the person Vessel used to be before meeting Sleep, this nebulous Him that we hear in intermissions during rituals, was "cocooned" inside a body that was no longer his and is experiencing this all as a spectator, and that Vessel kills the current version of himself that he's become, a spiritual suicide of sorts. How that was done so that He, without the influence of the mask and by extension Sleep, can move forward and start anew even after being irrevocably changed by what He's seen, and Vessel finally obtaining that "redemption, eternal ascension, setting [him] free" that was described in "Ascensionism".

I'm especially thinking about the funeral pyres reflected in Sleep's eyes. This could imply the fates of past vessels of Sleep, or it could imply that Vessel is dead in all ways but physical, or perhaps it could be a promise of Vessel's demise, burned alive and left to turn to ash - or are "those eyes like fire" and the raging flames within doing much, much more than that?

To add a very belated addition to the discussion, I want to bring up something regarding the lyric "I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre." In fact, it is going to be the focus of this entire post. In continuing with this idea of the death and rebirth/resurfacing and possibly rebuilding of the self, and identity fractures that I described in great detail in this post on "DYWTYLM", it's important here that I start off stating that there's two underlying assumptions that I'm making, which first is that He and Vessel are both the insect at first, their own selves tangled as noted by Levynn but capable of separation under the right circumstance, like a fantastical version of plurality where they can separate physically while still being connected as parts of a whole. My second assumption is that Vessel meets his death voluntarily, and Sleep is involved, regardless of whether or not Sleep is actually the one to do the job.

I'm using these as bases because in my interpretation of this theory, Vessel has to die, and that even though the two of them connected in mind and soul and often body, He is ultimately able to survive and live on, which requires physical distinction. This separation is in accordance with descriptions in the same song we've been discussing of Vessel fighting back against Sleep. Vessel, who used to fight Sleep's enemies "to let them know that they contend with [him]", now turns the blade against Sleep, his new enemy that he faces for Him. Perhaps this is a show of both his anger and his newfound devotion, a final attempt to damage Sleep to whatever extent he can while he has the chance, not with any hope of surviving but to give Him the best chance to carry on, since Vessel knows firsthand how much Sleep struggles in a weak enough state.

Describing Him and Vessel as a winged insect is a very interesting choice, which is what I ultimately want to focus on here and dissect. What kind of insect would that be, I wonder? I don't recall if there is official artwork depicting that, but without anything official as reference there's a near-infinite number of possibilities to choose from - flies, mosquitos, cicadas, bees, wasps, butterflies, moths, beetles, the list is endless - all with their own symbolic interpretations and impacts on this original theory and extrapolations. I would need an entire separate post to go over all of that, though - imagine examining just the different eyes that vary from species to species! - so I'll just go into one possibility and leave the rest as an open question.

One major question I have about this winged insect, and about Sleep, is this: Does Sleep still have eyes looking in other directions like we had seen several times in previous songs, or is Sleep's attention all on Vessel now, "[taking] aim at him for once" like he used to ask for?

See, there's an inherent contradiction here, going back to the labeling of a pyre. Sure, it's said to be for a funeral, but it's never explicitly stated who it's intended for. Not only that, but we also questioned at the end of the first paragraph if there is something else to be said about the fire and its behavior, what all Sleep is doing with it and plans to do with it. That's the thing about fire - perhaps it's been created and cultivated for a specific purpose, as part of a funeral in this case, but when you take a look at how Sleep has historically behaved, and the kind of language we see used to describe this behavior and motivation, there's other themes that comes up that give Sleep's fire another layer of meaning.

For fire doesn't just burn, it consumes. It has an endless hunger, latching onto anything it can grab hold of that can fuel its existence, taking and taking until there is nothing left. There's a sort of joy in that, a celebration, bursts of light and sound coinciding with the addition of more fuel, greater the more powerful that intake is over time and growing wide and tall in the most ideal circumstances. When the fire is weak, a breeze could snuff it out, but even a pinch of smoldering ash can manage to survive and grow into something that can lay waste to forests and home and towns, nearly apocalyptic when watching it as it razes thousands of square miles and jumps across roads and rivers. It, too, can rush and flood you, and swallow you whole.

Before Vessel, He discovered Sleep in a state like that smoldering ember. Yet, with the fuel of His initial deal and Vessel's inception and overtaking of Him, with every ritual bringing worship in greater numbers and greater fervor enabling rapid growth, this is what Sleep has turned into. This is what Vessel must face, not just a powerful God but one that he fed and nurtured into this state. The fire in those eyes is extreme, but it's also not eternal. It can still be deprived of that which feeds it, and if that were to happen, even be extinguished. There's hope in that.

Throughout the story, we see Vessel always coming back to Sleep, despite the flames that threaten to lick at his skin and singe and burn. Instinctively, perhaps even compulsively, he returns to this source of light and love and fear and wonder, the flame that grows each time he's fed by Vessel's worship. Examining one of the possible winged insects, his behavior is like that of a moth, drawn to the aura and essence of this God that desires him and hurts him in unequal measure.

Recall how one of our basic assumptions is that separation between the two is possible, despite how entwined they've been from the start even as they've been drifting apart. This coexistence and indeed codependency with Him is all Vessel knows, it's quite literally his entire life next to Sleep. If you consider the admission that "it's been two days since the mainframe went down and [he's] still messed up" as a reflection of the breaking down of the connection between Vessel and Him, which we've been seeing accelerate over time in songs like "DYWTYLM," with this "life like wires," severing those wires is all it would take, messy and painful as it would be.

No longer would we have "the mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb," but that'd turn out to be the key to Vessel's victory, even as it sealed his fate. It's clear that Vessel would eventually get too close and be brought down by those eyes, but this time it was deliberate in a way that is fueled by something completely different than any self-destructive behavior he exhibited in the past, and it paid off. That lamb survived, by no means unscathed but still not lost.

The one thing that remained the same, persisting throughout their parallel existence that transcends life and death itself, is memory. The autumn leaves, the rain, the night. The lights of his eyes, his grin. This grief that accompanies it will never go away, will never grow any smaller, but He can break though the walls that are closing in on Him, keep running forward, become something new. Most importantly, He has to do it for Himself. He'll be alone, but the memory will always be there, knowing Vessel is just an inch apart from Him, on his own continuum.

#okay this went WAY off the rails and it suddenly had romantic vibes at the end? that's just what euclid does to a mf ig #sorry about the direct username tags orz i wasn't sure what the best way to credit was #(yes i plugged my dywtylm post again no i am not ashamed. i like it a lot so it's going in there)#sleep token

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chouhatsumimi · 1 year

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How to Get (Free) Manga in Japanese from Honto.jp*

(*If you already have an account!)

I hope to get out a post about setting up an account sooner or later, but we'll give this a go for now!

Go to honto.jp There's an option to use the site in English, but we're skipping that for now. We're also only buying digital at the moment, so we're going to skip worrying about shipping. Close the pop-up.

2. Type the name of the book/series you're looking for into the search bar. This time we're looking for とつくにの少女, The Girl From the Other Side. (Note that I tried searching for 外国の少女 and didn't get the correct results, so do be careful how you type in what you're looking for.) Unselect the green option (紙) from next to the search bar, since right now we're only looking for digital (電子). Then click 検索.

3. You can see various volumes of the series appearing below. Right now it's showing up with the most recent at the top, so we'll scroll down until we see とつくにの少女（１）. Alternatively, they often sell sets up to the most recent volume released, so if you want to go all in, you can look for the option [全1−11 セット] とつくにの少女. In this case we need to scroll to the bottom and go on to the next page. Just a note that they do sell "complete" series even if the series is still publishing new volumes, and you'll have to buy future volumes as a new purchase. Also, it will not allow you to purchase both the full set and a single volume of the same series at the same time. Buying as a set vs. buying individually does not affect how the volumes appear in your library, but it can affect how coupons apply sometimes, if there's a deal on sets.

4. Here we are! とつくにの少女（１）! If you don't want to buy it right now, you can click 欲しい本に追加, but we're purchasing, so we're going to click the big orange (電子書籍を)カートに入れる.

5. Now you can see it's changed to カートを見る, and there's one item in our cart up top! Before we check out, though, let's take advantage of some of the perks of using honto.jp.

6. By hovering over Myメニュー at the top right, we can get to あしあと抽選ポイント and クーポン一覧.

7. Let's visit あしあと抽選ポイント first. You earn points by buying things on the website (1 point for 100 yen, I think?), but you can also enter the point lottery for a chance to win free points every day! Usually you only get one point, but it's still fun and a penny saved is a penny earned, right? Click the big blue button that says あしあと抽選にチャレンジ！

8. Next go to クーポン一覧. Go through and collect 取得する on the right side of all of them, we don't care. They're free. Most of them are for smaller publishers and only apply to specific books we're not interested in, but the ones at the top are going to help us get 20%~25% off if we're lucky! 25% is about the best deal you get on honto.jp, every once in a while you may get 30% or perhaps 40%. There are better sales, but they won't apply to the popular items.

9. All our coupons now having turned from blue to gray and saying 取得済み, we go to our bonus round... the free manga area! Click the logo in the top left to go back to the main page, and then look for 無料の電子書籍 right underneath the search bar.

There are hundreds and hundreds of free options, usually the first or first few volumes of a series. (They're to get you to buy the rest of the series, but they can save you some money!!) A lot are kind of whatever, but there's usually a few really good ones there, case in point Blue Giant (first 4 volumes) and Shadow House (first 3 volumes) are free right now! Sometimes they're only free for a limited amount of time after which they'll still appear in your digital library but you can no longer open them, but we don't care about that right now, go get your free stuff!

You can add the first volumes to your cart very quickly by clicking the orange button underneath the covers, but if you want all the free volumes, click on the cover to open in a new tab, which will take you to the page for the first volume. Click on シリーズ一覧 under the title and author, and that'll take you to a list of the volumes like we saw before, if you scroll down.

Now that we're here, go crazy hitting the orange button, but make sure you're doing it on the volumes that say 0円. They like to mix the paid volumes in with the free ones. If you look at the title you can see the free ones are only going to be available to read until March 16th, but whatever! Free stuff, even if it's temporary!

Something weird is going on with Shadow House, I don't know why there are two different free ones, I think that's an error on the part of the site. We'll just pick one for each volume. This one says 期間限定無料配信, so I think that means you get to keep it as long as you get it for free during the free availability period!

10. Now that we've rounded up what we want, click on your cart (電子書籍のカートを見る) in the top right. This'll pop up when you hover over the cart icon.

Look over your list, make sure your free books are free, and your total off to the right is what you're expecting, then enter your password on the right to continue, then hit the orange button that says 購入の手続きへ進む.

11. Now it pretty much looks the same, except we're logged in. It saves your payment information, so you won't have to enter anything (danger!! if you like buying books, there's no step of having to get out your credit card to make you think about your life choices!)

BUT we do want to save money, so we'll use our coupons and points! Click on the white box with the blue outline that says クーポン/ポイントの利用

12. Apply your coupon!! (One per purchase). But see, this is why we collect all the coupons, because apparently とつくにの少女 happens to be from one of the publishers that has a good sale on now! I think it automatically applies the best one, but it's good to check, especially if you have more than one item in your cart that costs actual money. You can see how it reduced from 605円 on the previous screen to 363円 here. By clicking 全て利用する on the right, I can also apply all my points to bring it down that much further! (Or click the lower options to use some or none of your points.) If points expire, I buy things off this site too frequently to have noticed... Then click 変更する in blue at the bottom to save your changes.

13. STOP, think about if you're ready to pay!! Then to finish, click the orange ご注文を確定 on the right! You can see I'll earn 2 pts to save on future purchases from this order. (It looks like it's less than 1 per 100円...)

14. DONE! You can open up the app on your preferred device, download your new purchase(s), and start reading! You can also read in-browser by clicking ブラウサで読む.

You'll see your purchases on My 本棚

Hover over the cover to bring you to this screen, then select シリーズの本棚を見る to go to the mini-bookshelf for all the volumes in that series (I only have one of とつくにの少女, but that's what shows up anyway).

It shows me the volumes that are missing in gray, but if I hover over the one I have, I again see ブラウザーで読む. Click on that to finally read!

Ta-da! I think it also pops up with instructions about using the arrow keys to move the pages, or your can click on the sides of the pages to get them to advance in that direction.

Happy Reading!!!

#honto.jp #digital manga #reference #Japanese language #manga in Japanese #argh I already managed to delete some of this partway through this endeavor is cursed #WAIT WHAT TAG EDITING WAS IMPLEMENTED ON DESKTOP?#anyway #free manga #this post brought to you by omg even this quote simple post took me an hour to put together #if you see me not posting much and are wondering why #I'd like to make one of these about making a honto.jp account in the first place but #I already have an account and I'm not sure if you need to link it to an address in Japan #I'm outside Japan now but I had an address when I set up the account #maybe later sorry orz #seitokai bookclub #4000 follower spree #hmm I forgot the part about unchecking the Email Me About This Author’s Works boxes #I think they’re below the list before checkout maybe

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egglands-worst · 4 months

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hey gaymers new tumblr glitch dropped ✌️😐💖

#following but not following my sideblog #it says im following it. it's not in my followers list. i add it to my followers list but that doesn't work because i am following it #none of my sideblog posts appear on my following dashboard. i can still see the posts in the tags just fine. it's not in my blocklist.#no matter how many times i unfollow and then refollow it nothing changes #not even the amount of people I'm following. which is one less than what i KNOW it was right before all this happened #oh also. all my other sideblogs are normal I'm pretty sure. it's just happening with this one single sideblog #and it just so happens to be the one i use the most orz

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tastymarbar · 2 months

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Kenji seems like the type of guy who would ask p3-kun to practice kiss with him. you know like, no homo and all that. just two dudes kissing for "practice".

#mar talks #kenji tomochika #persona 3 #''hey dude you wanna practice kiss with me? not in like a gay way just for like... our future girlfriends y'know?''#''...uh huh sure''#p3-kun goes with a lot of bs in some of his SL he probably would go with this too #plot twist its all well and good until kenji realises he actually like kissing p3-kun #and suddenly it's not so no homo kissing practice with his bestie #and now he's feeling weird and oh god he can't possibly let p3-kun know this #except spoiler alert kenji is not subtle(tm) and p3-kun knew this whole time lmao #after ages kenji confesses what he's been feeling and p3-kun just bluntly states ''yeah i already knew that'x #and after a long time kenji finally confesses and p3-kun just goes ''yeah i already knew that ur not subtle dude''#and kenji just stares at him flabbergasted bc tf you mean you knew this whole time?? and didn't say anything???#(more spoiler alert p3-kun liked it to but he was too neurodivergent to say anything)#(they totally just sat there for like 10 minutes looking at the floor bc wtf do you even say after that)#whoops I'm gonna write a whole ass fic in the tags at this point #I'd actually write that but im not that great at writting orz #also hi if you read all that i hope you have a nice day :D

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gachaparadise · 1 year

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I've been doing interludes lately (as you do during an interlude campaign) and the gap in quality and character analysis is insane sometimes. I did Qsh and Nezha's back to back and... Night and day over here. Qsh's was so charming and showed me a new side of my beloved moth, as well as some really cute gap moe moments. Nezha's was boring, hardly focussed on them at all, and made the same tired jokes about their gender over and over... Even the blurb on their profile you get after it's complete does it orz

#also the writing for Nezha's was like... bad. it felt stiff and didn't flow at all #not the content (though that was bad also) the actual writing #i went to read that one specifically because i was curious about what Nezha's pronouns were orz...#because im hot overly familiar with them and the one thing i do recall about them is when we first meet them-#they remark on how their body isn't what they expected and are... upset i believe? it was a while ago aha...#i just recall them pretty distinctly not being cool with the fact they have a female body now #i wanted to know if they came arpund to itor if they wanted to be refered to as a man but okay #tasteless jokes about how gender makes them uncomfortable is fine to i guess #anyway! for now until further notice i guess Nezha is stuck with the old reliable they/them because genuinely i have no idea how they feel #i know their profile uses she/her but... pretty sure Mordred's does that as well and he obviously doesn't use those #whatever i guess!! don't know why i expected an even remotely nuances take from fgo who cares lets talk about my moth!!!#i love how they have a whole backup plan in case we fail like yes king restart SIN you're a genius babygirl 💕#seriously so cute i love them #i dunno if i can resist grailing them to 100 next tiem we have an ember campaign #i put it off so far since i dont use them much gameplay wise but... moth good #these tags got away from me woops #game: fate grand order #post: chatter #sorry about the typos that I'm sure are there btw I'm on mobile and you can't re-edit tags without retyping them yet...

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weiidafeng · 2 years

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//hello everyone sorry for the absence !! life has been cray and i haven't really been able to write much of anywhere but, going forward, to make things easier for when i can write, i've gone ahead and thrown tong on my multi fandom multi-muse @doomxdriven !!!! hope to see you all there!!

#//if you still wish to write with tong then fear not!! i will be transplanting most of his threads to the multi since i have #//most of those drafted i've just been too busy to finish em but!! i will get what i can out #//though i'll probably contact pple first to make sure ya'll good with that. if not we can start new stuff but JSFHDGSDGHJ #//yes bls follow tong over there if you wish!!!#//i still need to set his and another muse's tags up over there but ill be getting to that tomorrow after work orz #;outofwind (ooc);

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glasseswearingrabbitdetective · 2 years

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Ugh it’s well gone 1am… I found some random manga with a cute girl on the cover so I read it and… couldn’t put it down 😭 it’s rly dark and I HOPE will get a; happier, b; not fking romantic! It does NOT suit!

What did I read? Sachi-iro no One Room… is it worth reading more of? Its gripping and mysterious and def has a creepy feel to it … 🤔�� I wanna read a happy ending…

It’s a story of “a guy who kidnaps a 14 year old girl”… was it rly kidnap? No. She came (and stayed) willingly, desperate to escape awful abusive parents, teacher, bullies,, and the utter loneliness she felt … Her “kidnapper” is genuinely kind and has a tragic past of his own … They help each other find happiness. Pls let it not turn into a rly gross romance :)) I’m scared to read further somehow… >> I don’t trust authors with this sorta story… Sachi is 14! Pls TT I’m begging! Don’t ship her with an adult! Not romantically ! He doesn’t (afaik) feel that way towards her, he saved her life twice! They’re like siblings..! Assuming it isn’t just Stockholm syndrome .. hard to tell… it’s ongoing manga… 💦

Anyways, it had some good scenes…eg;

#cw dark content #cw abuse mention #he’s not actually her kidnapper so I’m not sure to tag it that^^’#sachi-iro no one room #I rly feel like I should tag this more but I’m not sure WHAT #this manga DEF isn’t for light hearted reading tho.. I might research the author some more..#apparently it got a drama and they both ended up dying :’D tho a comment said author said the manga will have another end #pls be happy🙏🫠#why am I even reading this…? I gotta get up early in the morning TT as I type this it’s nearly 2…am… orz

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roseverdict · 10 months

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…i think i know when to set avl now :)

#rosie babbles #AVL IS A WORKING TITLE LMAO #THE ANIMATIONS ARE NOT VERSUSING THE LEVERAGE CREW #but. heheheheh. the radio job. sure is a neat episode. heheheh. that DEFINITELY has nothing to do with familial bonds #just going off what my parents are currently on in their semi-regular leverage rewatch.#but that might be a bit late in the timeline and if i decide to do it earlier. that's not jimmy ford's first appearance now is it :)))#sticks #leverage #a more accurate wip title is animation vs (blank): the frame-per-second job but. i still need to figure out what to put in the blank orz #anyway. since this isn't going away anytime soon probably i'm making the #avl #tag into a thing until i can figure out a better one

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zhongrin · 5 months

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in another reality

✼ characters ┈ zhongli, al haitham, childe, xiao

✼ tags ┈ minors dni (explicit words used in bantering // al haitham), pure crack, ooc characters, idk why i even spent time on this this is so cursed and i already know it'll flop for sureー

✼ a/n ┈ based on a cursed idea i had a long time ago (so long that i can't even find it orz) but the premise was something along the line of:

"what if the genshin models were created after an actual human being reference, and said reference was your boyfriend.... but the catch is that their personalities are 180 degrees different than their in-game counterpart (so like zhongli is an coffee addict and childe can't be bothered with children)"

ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴄʜᴀᴛʀᴏᴏᴍ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ) ✼ ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ) ✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ)

↬ ʟᴏɢ ɪɴ ⫦↠

recommended to view via pc/laptop screen.

you will be prompted to give your name, but if you don’t feel comfortable you can skip them entirely - if you do give your name, the data will only be stored locally on your devices.

yes, the wallpaper changes based on your local time.

(optional) send me screenshots of your favorite interactions or line lol

if you have yet to see ‘This chat has ended’ then- well, the chat has yet to end! be patient, it might take him some time to reply~ ;)

if the ui glitches, try turning the screen upright, back down, and then wait for a little

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli x reader #al haitham x reader #childe x reader #xiao x reader #zhongli #al haitham #childe #xiao #rin uses her programming skill to have fun #rin writes #minors dni

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eicrisis · 1 year

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*:･ﾟin a trance

characters; kujou sara, kamisato ayato, yelan, rosaria, kaedehara kazuha.

warning(s); NS.FW. minors do not interact. AFAB reader. biting, mentions of b.lood (rosaria)

summary; how they treat their favorite parts of your body.

repost! fingers crossed it shows up in tags this time orz

Kujou Sara | Thighs

Sara would never, ever admit it but your thighs are one of her favorite things about you. It's rare for her to lose her famous composure, but she gets damn close whenever she catches sight of your legs in your favorite pair of shorts.

She loves the feel of your thighs in her hands, the way her fingertips press hard enough to indent them when she gets too excited. It's rare you can wear clothes that expose your legs nowadays, considering how generously she marks them. If you were to ever bring it up, her ears get redder than the most vibrant of dendrobiums, and her lips morph into a wobbly line.

Kamisato Ayato | Eyes

Kamisato Ayato thinks himself a simple man in terms of his desires. Is it really so abnormal for him to fixate on the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, or the way your pupils dilate when they meet his own?

Surely, it would be nothing but innocent if he didn't pay such close attention to them when you were fucking. He loves how they widen in surprise when he pushes inside you, how they narrow slightly when you're overcome with sensation—how they close in ecstasy when you come. To him, it's absolutely breathtaking.

Yelan | Mouth

Your smile is so beautiful to Yelan. Before you had called each other lovers, she would simply crave the feeling of your smile against her skin. Your lips, whether chapped from the cold or smooth with liquid, were never safe from her whims.

She loves how your mouth feels when it swallows down her fingers. She adores how you're so caught up in the act of it you can't stop the drool from escaping the corners of your lips. She doesn't care how red your face gets, or how sweetly you beg for her to slow down, Yelan, please—she only cares to see that cute mouth of yours stuffed full. Everything else is secondary, especially considering she knows how much you love it too.

Rosaria | Wrists

Rosaria's teeth are sharp, and her favorite person to terrorize with them was you. Not that you didn't love it, but her strange fascination with the smooth line of your wrist left a lot to be questioned.

She will spend ages grabbing and teething over the skin, her tongue tracing over the beating pulse of your radial artery. She can't help but wonder, as she marks the skin of your wrists with bruises; how easy would it be to ruin you beyond repair? To bite into your skin and leave your body a crumbled heap? It would be much too easy—and that trust, that unwavering dedication, has her riled up beyond words.

Kaedehara Kazuha | Neck

He's a cuddler for sure. Whenever he gets a chance he'll curl up beside you and wrap his arms around you, pressing his face into your neck. He could sit there for hours kissing your flushed skin, his pace never differing from his usually intoxicating slowness.

He's not one to rush things. It takes a lot of teasing and denial on his part until he feels fit to have you. Where's the fun in it if its over in only a few short minutes, or even hours? If he could have it how he wants it, he would keep you there forever, bruising and marking your neck until you forget what it looked like unblemished.

#kujou sara x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #yelan x reader #rosaria x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact smut #kamisato ayato smut #yelan smut #kaedehara kazuha smut #!!lie is writing

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merakiui · 2 months

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I still can't get over the love catting of boyfriend floyd ask I sent a while ago >~<!!! The thought of floyd staring longingly at you from across the campus, him having a visceral hatred of riddle for stealing you. I bet he originally wanted to get with riddle bc she was interesting to him buy now that's the furthest thing that he could ever want now. I wants her dead. He thinks abt killing her when he's home alone at his now partyless apartment, the thinks abt how he wants her blood on his hands when he sees her hand in hand with you when walking around, he especially wants her dead when he watches her fuck you in on her bed through her window >_<.

What does goldfishie have that he doesn't? He has money, looks connections and is fun. He has everything to ensure you have a good life. Yeah he cheated on you a few times but he spent a year repenting for his past transgressions ans is now ready and so willing to be your perfect loving boyfriend please. If he could go back in time he'd never would have fucked those other guppies if he knew it would end with you leaving him for goldfishie

- Lily anon

Omg yes,,,, orz and Floyd knows he has to be careful not to get caught because then Riddle, annoyingly clever as always, could get him in trouble for stalking. >:/ she's probably waiting for him to slip up or do something that will get him into legal trouble. While Floyd may want her dead, Riddle fondly hopes for the day in which Floyd can be out of your life for good. Aaaaaa she's so crazy and obsessed. But at the end of the day, it's her you fall into bed with. She understands you're still reeling from your previous relationship and so she can be patient. Whether best friends or more, it's okay so long as you're here with her.

You agree to hang out with Floyd because he's been begging you for another chance. And if not romance, you can try to stay on friendly terms. You're not sure what you feel for Floyd, but a meal is a meal. Riddle tags along, terribly coy and dressed up as if this is a date for her and you. Floyd hates it. He tries to drive her away by being annoying, but she persists. Most of the meal is spent with them exchanging cutting barbs, Floyd's sour glare evenly matched with Riddle's pleasant simper. Oh, she's so proud of herself. So happy. And the way she holds your arm, the way she looks at you, the way she dabs at your mouth with her napkin when you have chocolate smeared on your lips from dessert.......... it's annoying.

Floyd just doesn't get it. What do you see in her? Sure, she's your friend, but Floyd was your boyfriend. Floyd was more than a friend. He can't do anything to change the past, but he'll do better. He'll improve. He loves you, truly, and he's not sure what his past self was thinking. He has to prove this to you, otherwise he fears Goldfishie may end up having you all to herself. >_<

#twisted chit chat #lily anon #riddle kissing you on the cheek after the 'date' and giving floyd the most smug smirk when you aren't looking #oooooo she is so gloating!!!!!!

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u3pxx · 2 months

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disco meshi au rambling below major spoilers for both disco elysium and dungeon meshi (only up until chapter 62)

BARKS anyways i was suddenly hit with a pang of "extremely normal about harry du bois" and thinking about the idea of harry being a former dungeon lord in this au

i'll copy-paste a bit of the rambling i did in tags (and clean them up) to catch you all up to speed

- ok so maybe harry + kim won't go dungeoneering on their own but maybe they were sent to investigate dangerous dungeons and sent to make sure those aren't threats anymore (kind of like the canaries) - maybe harry had become a dungeon master at some point and the part of him that was eaten was his memories. - GODD dungeon master harry is kind of giving me grief though. can you imagine what he would count as his perfect life. can you imagine when the illusion starts to fall apart and he's accepted that he will be consumed? but he doesn't get to die. that's his curse.

i have like several ideas on what things would be fun to explore in the au and one of those ideas is harry and kim being assigned to maintain the safety of a dungeon which just so happens to be: the dungeon that harry used to control.

(note: i do not remember that well what happens to a dungeon after the dungeon lord has been dethroned. iirc it does still stay there so OOF. imagine traversing to a dungeon and seeing things that should be familiar to you but you just cannot remember anything. it hurts when you look at it, but what did it mean to you?)

i just think that harry after being left, now an even more broken man than he ever was, being granted this false escape from his situation in the form of his deal with this demon. the kingdom he's built inside the dungeon, what if it was just a home. what if it was just a home, like any other home on the surface. surrounded by trees bearing apricots. what if it was a humble home for him, his wife, and their unborn children. what then huh orz

and then i thought: "hey now, didn't dolores have a line that LITERALLY had the words, "i will eat your mind"?" and then --

Dolores Dei: "... it was *a hundred million years ago*. I was someone else then -- filled to the brim with love for you. Hanging on your every word. Oh Harry, you were the *coolest*... But I am no longer that person. This..." She points to herself. "... has taken her place. It will devour you. Harry -- I will eat your mind."

COME ON. MAN. DO I EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING HERE ORZ

thinking about. the demon manifesting as this monstrous amalgamation. if i think of a better animal than lamb that symbolizes what dolores dei represents then i'll change it but MAN.

anyways. thinking about this comic ryoko kui wrote and thinking about the dungeon as a metaphor for addiction. thinking about a demon that devours and feasts on a person's desires until there is nothing left of that person and thinking about the pale that slowly grows and expands and turns everything into nothing at all. MY BRAIN ISN'T WORKING ANYMORE SO I'M SORRY IF I CAN'T EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS MORE COHERENTLY. HELLO CAN ANYONE HEAR ME DFGDHJK

also, i think dora is an elf from a wealthy family in the au. just another layer of arghhhhgghgh to add above everything else. another reason why her family doesn't like harry is because he's from a short-lived race.

#den off the shits DFGHDJ #if u dont care abt spoilers or have no interest at all in this. i also drew a very neat drawing of a demon if u want under read more pfttt #disco meshi au #sunnysidedisco #sunnysiderambles #cw gore #tw gore #starry don't look

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0509-brainrot · 6 months

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POST THE DOUBKE PARALLELS PLSPLSPLS

HNGH OKAY SO,

First of all just some General Visual Parallels (ones that while I don't have any particular Thoughts or Deep Analysis on they're Neat :) (also they fit more into the overarching smoking trio parallels since Kazui has a matching one too) I'm sorry Kazui my blog is so biased orz)

Mfs when they hold the left side of their face while forcing out a pained smile (Although with Mikoto it's just his general lying/trying to brush off his own suffering while with Shidou we're looking at him at his most painfully honest) ((Also they both have phone calls in their songs which I think is Great))

Cool eye shots :) (Am I the only one who thinks Mikoto's eyes are very pretty :sob: ((Also now the entire smoking trio has one of these close up eye shots, I also love that Mikoto and Orekoto both get individual shots nobody gets left out (Ignoring the fact that they Disbanded)))

Okay but time for. My Actual Shitty Parallels Analysis bear with me guys here this is gonna get Messy,

Idk if I talked about this Before but Shidou and John (I'm sorry guys I Need to adjust to it I'm gonna call him John here) are both obviously extremely tied to their "purpose" of protecting people, specifically their loved ones (Shidou's Family/Mikoto). However they obviously go at it very Differently, John's method Is harmful (violence/killing) while Shidou's is supposed to be the complete Opposite (treating/healing).

There's also something interesting about their victims. I can't say for sure from Double if Multiple people were Actually murdered, but it seems to be portrayed that way by John at least; he and Shidou both portray themselves as having multiple victims, and they're also portrayed completely differently than their loved ones (Flowers/Tags, Mannequins, they're not entirely portrayed as people and have little to no identity, their lives were set aside to protect/save the ones they cared about)

(The environment in Shidou's MV is also very sterile and clean looking while John's is covered in blood. They're both surrounded by their representations of the lives they took)

From what we've seen this purpose is currently what basically makes or breaks their will/reason to live, these people are their entire worlds, if they can't even save the ones they care about they may as well have nothing, and what happened with that purpose of protecting?

Well. They failed.

Shidou's fails to protect/save his family and John fails to protect/save Mikoto, and their arcs with how they go Forward with this failure completely Kills Me

I fucking. Hrmghsdflbds these shots at the ends of their respective mvs are the shots that pretty much prompted this post. Shidou reaches out and, despite his failures, tries to push past his self-hatred and resolves to continue living and protecting others. Meanwhile, John closes in on himself with renewed self-hatred, and decides that it would be better off if he disappeared/went dormant.

Just. Aheem aheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem

GOD, GOD (while the shots themselves don't exactly parallel, the lyrics. Oh The Lyrics)

"So hey, prolong my life" / "If only I were never born, if only"

"I'm Dispensable" / "I'm So Sorry"

Minus the "Why, why" in Double, these are the Last Two Lines for both of their songs and,

I'M GONNA HIT SOMETHING,

We see John with the most Openly Distressed expression we've seen on him meanwhile Shidou has almost Cold Resolve

Shidou and John's arcs are going in completely opposite directions and that Breaks my Fucking Heart Man oh my God get me Out of here Get Me Out (I hope these shots also helps articulate that parallel I tried to make earlier about the different ways they go at protecting people? Shidou puts on new white, clean gloves meanwhile John's hands are completely coated in blood and just. Man,).

Just. Yeah. Yeah,

Pain

God I hope this makes sense to Someone I'm going Insane

Most miserable guys ever I love them so much </333

#milgram #milgram project #mikoto kayano #shidou kirisaki #0509 #0905 #0509 ramblings #admittedly i'm very apprehensive about posting this to the main tags #while all the Real theories are rolling in and stuff #i'm kinda worried about people looking at me like i'm Insane and like Yeah I Am but also orz orz #praying this stays with my audience you guys see the Vision Right #they make me So Ill i'm gonna Throw Something Goddddddd #guys pleaseplaspelape if you have thoughts or a response to this Let Me Know we Need to feed each other Thoughts me thinks

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the-obnoxious-sibling · 3 months

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not a hoax! not a dream! not an imaginary story! buggy and shanks kiss in this one! oh, some other stuff happens too, but nothing as important as that, i’m sure.

part six of the post-marineford portion of the near miss fics! (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) if you have no idea what i’m talking about but would like to read a shanks/buggy story about kissing in disguise and then having to deal with the emotional fallout of doing that, click on this link, that’s the tag for the whole thing in chronological order. (plus some complaining about writing, one inspirational improvised musical number, and a snippet of shanks pov) if you do know what i’m talking about: i can’t believe i thought i could finish this thing in six parts. orz …at least i’m done with this day. i’m hoping to wrap the story proper up in the next part, which means it’s time to start thinking about the shanks pov side story! are there any scenes you’re particularly interested in getting shanks’ perspective on?

Staring at that dumb, smug face, Buggy’s thoughts flipped from oh, fuck to oh, fuck it.

“What kind of question is that?” he snapped, clutching at Shanks’ collar. Pulling himself up and pulling Shanks down, he said, “You’re such an idiot, Shanks, sometimes I really don’t know why I—” Thankfully, Shanks came willingly—still grinning, the idiot—and Buggy was cut off before he could say anything truly incriminating.

And, well, Shanks was right. Their other kiss—a sweet little press of lips—was very different from this one. This kiss went on and on, and right from the start it was hungry.

The taste of shochu on Shanks’ tongue made Buggy’s nose wrinkle in distaste—‘earthy’ drinks just tasted like dirt to him—but he pushed past it, focusing on the slide of that tongue against his, a slick warmth that made him shudder and pull his arms tighter around Shanks’ neck. That wasn’t the only thing making him shudder, either—Shanks’ thumb stroking at the corner of Buggy’s jaw, encouraging him to open wider, let him in deeper, did that too. And that hand sliding down Buggy’s neck and across his back, leaving a wide trail of warmth in its wake, had Buggy making needy little noises that would embarrass him later. In the moment, when they encouraged Shanks to make desperate noises of his own, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

The crick he was developing in his neck was a bit of a pain, though, and easily remedied. Buggy split himself at the waist and floated his upper half up to bring his head level with Shanks’, so neither was bending to reach the other. He must have overshot a little, though, or moved too fast without warning; Shanks let out a small, surprised noise, pressing in closer, and the pleasant weight of Shanks’ arm across Buggy’s shoulders became a desperate clinging, fingers digging into the back of Buggy’s shirt so he wouldn’t fall on his ass. Lucky for Shanks, Buggy could hold a fishman in one hand when split; a man was nothing. But holding Shanks like this would just put them in the reverse of their previous uncomfortable position, so after a moment (or two, or… look, the way Shanks clung to him was doing something for him) Buggy leaned Shanks back against the bench, pushing a little until he gave in and sat.

Without breaking the kiss—as much because Shanks wouldn’t let him as because he didn’t want to—Buggy reconnected his lower half and turned to sit with his legs curled under him on the bench. His hands, which he’d cut loose to grope around under Shanks’ shirt as they pleased, reconnected with his wrists to cup Shanks’ face between his palms. By gentling the kiss a bit, pulling back on the tongue, making some room for them to breathe, he got Shanks to ease up in turn. The press of his lips grew less forceful, less desperate. His hand loosened its death grip on Buggy’s shirt, and he started to rub circles into the small of Buggy’s back in time with the movement of his lips, which was a very distracting sensation.

Soon Buggy had to pull back, needing some literal breathing room, and stared at Shanks, breathless and red-faced for new reasons. His eyes sliding open to reveal a beautifully dazed expression wasn’t a sight Buggy would forget any time soon.

“Buggy,” Shanks breathed, and the sound of his voice in that moment was something Buggy wasn’t likely to forget either.

“Rushing things again,” he said, a little chidingly, stroking his thumbs over Shanks’ cheekbones. “What’s your hurry? I’m not going anywhere.”

An emotion washed over Shanks’ face so briefly Buggy could have told himself he’d imagined it. He hadn’t, of course, and he immediately knew what had caused it. He was going somewhere. Not right now, no, but winds and tides willing, tomorrow he’d be back with his crew. And soon Shanks would be back in the New World, where someone like him belonged.

Buggy sighed and leaned back, hesitating only when Shanks grabbed at his arm, but it was just to take one of Buggy’s hands in his. A little clingy, but Buggy could allow that much after he’d had the man’s tongue down his throat. Licking his lips and shivering when they tingled unexpectedly, Buggy said, “What do you want, Shanks?” When Shanks cocked an eyebrow at him, as if to say I think that should be obvious by now, Buggy shook his head. “I’m serious. You’re an Emperor, you should be in the New World. My crew can’t handle those territories, they’ve barely managed to survive Paradise. So you and I are not going to sail together as allies, and you know I would never take your flag and sail as your subordinate. Even if I could bear it, we’ve always wanted different things as pirates. We wouldn’t work well together. So what do you want here? What are you trying to get?”

Shanks smiled, a slightly sad edge to it, and lifted Buggy’s hand to his lips. He pressed an insistent kiss to the back of the hand, like he was a prince out of some fairy story. “Time with you, Buggy. That’s all I dared hope for.”

Buggy squirmed. “Hardly seems worth all the effort for just one day.”

“Life is short,” Shanks said plainly. “Who knows if we’ll ever see each other again? At least now I know what it’s like to kiss you for real.” He kissed Buggy’s hand again, pressing his lips against each knuckle in turn. It made Buggy squirm in a different way, tugging his hand free before Shanks had gotten halfway through. Shanks gave him a fond, amused look. “That’s more than worth the effort to me.”

“Stupid,” Buggy muttered.

“Yeah, I guess I can be pretty stupid when it comes to you. My first mate thinks so, anyway.” Shanks dropped his hand to rest against Buggy’s waist. Tracing his thumb along the curve of Buggy’s hipbone, making Buggy hyperaware of that spot, Shanks leaned in, saying, “You don’t mind, do you?”

Buggy rolled his eyes. Just before their lips touched, a feeling came over him—a regret not yet realized, who knows if we’ll ever—and he pulled back far enough to meet Shanks’ eye. “Shanks, you know I…” Buggy hesitated. Shanks stared at him, smile fallen away. Buggy… couldn’t say it. He cleared his throat. “You know I’m not gonna stay in Paradise forever, right?”

Cocking his head to one side, Shanks said, “Is that right?”

“Yeah, you know how I am.” Buggy put a hand to Shanks’ cheek, giving in to the impulse to touch those scars again. Shanks’ eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into the contact. This time Buggy let himself enjoy the view, even when Shanks opened his eyes to reveal an uncomfortably tender expression. “I wanna get my hands on every big treasure trove there is, and there’s plenty to be found in the New World.” Buggy rose up on his knees. He liked the way Shanks rolled his head back to maintain eye contact. He liked the way Shanks looked from above. He smirked. “It’s only a matter of time.”

Shanks gave him a long, considering look. “I’ll be looking forward to that,” he said with a smile. The smile was sly at the corners, concealing some little secret Shanks must imagine himself so clever for keeping. Against his better judgment, Buggy wanted to taste it. He remembered after a moment that he could, and ducked down, arms sliding around Shanks’ neck. Shanks responded with enthusiasm, pulling Buggy into his lap, and Buggy set the potential regret of words not said aside.

Buggy wasn’t worried. Yes, they were going to part ways soon, but he’d see Shanks again. In East Blue they hadn’t been able to stay apart for good no matter how they’d tried. It would be the same way in the New World. He was sure of it.

Even though they’d left the Red Force together that morning, Buggy decided they should return separately. Shanks’ cow eyes would be too obvious, he said, to which Shanks replied that he’d been wearing them around Buggy this whole time, and Buggy just hadn’t noticed. But, as it was Buggy’s reaction to the cow eyes that he didn’t want people seeing, this only strengthened Buggy’s resolve. And so Shanks was left to find something in town to occupy his attentions for twenty minutes, Buggy didn’t particularly care what, while Buggy made a hopefully unremarkable return to the ship.

Most of the Red Force's guests were still out and about, enjoying the amenities of the island, and the crew had clearly put that time to good use. There were only two crates left waiting to be loaded aboard the Red Force, and aside from a man leaning against one of those crates, the dock was clear. There were delicious smells in the air, and a cheery tune carried from somewhere above. Buggy hummed as he approached the ship, trying to figure out how he knew the tune. Whatever it was, it was catchy.

Recognizing the man leaning against a crate as the Red-Haired Pirates’ first mate, Buggy had a feeling that something about these last two crates required Shanks’s approval. He frowned, not feeling great about inconveniencing this guy by keeping Shanks away from his duties. Then, remembering that Shanks had been the one to claim he had a day free, Buggy metaphorically stabbed that feeling in the back and threw it overboard. If this guy wanted to waste his afternoon waiting around for Shanks, that was on him.

The first mate stubbed out his cigarette and got to his feet as Buggy approached the ship. Second-guessing his assumption about why this guy was hanging around, Buggy paused a few steps from him. The guy looked Buggy up and down and said, “Buggy the Clown,” with an expectant tone.

Oh no. What was his name? Shanks had mentioned it earlier, during that story about his years-long effort to woo an East Blue sniper into joining his crew. Something alliterative. With Bs? Buggy started to sweat. Shit, he had nothing. He cleared his throat. “Ben…king?” When the guy’s face didn’t so much as twitch to indicate whether Buggy had gotten his name right, Buggy gave up. “It’s something with a B, right?”

Shanks’ first mate smirked, laughing a little to himself. “Benn Beckman.” He held out a hand, and after a nervous moment Buggy took it. Beckman gave him a firm shake. Ducking down to pull a crowbar out from behind the crate he’d been sitting on, he said, “We should talk.”

Buggy gulped.

When Shanks appeared, it didn’t feel like twenty minutes had passed. Buggy frowned, checked the sky, frowned more when the position of the sun low on the horizon suggested it had actually been closer to an hour, and gave Shanks a suspicious look. He wasn’t sure whether to ask what had taken so long or to apologize for squandering the time he’d been given. He’d meant to make himself scarce, so they wouldn’t have to navigate being around other people so soon after… all that… but for a man who presented himself as ’the serious one,’ Beckman was surprisingly good company.

And a horrific gossip. Buggy still couldn’t believe some of the stories he’d told about the Red-Haired Pirates.

“What’s going on here?” Shanks asked, attempting to sound light-hearted but glancing between Buggy and Beckman with such obvious concern on his face that Buggy couldn’t help but snort.

“Just getting to know your old friend a little better,” Beckman said. Gesturing to Shanks with the bottle of rum he’d pulled out of one of the crates—which were, in fact, waiting on Shanks (to direct them to the right room, because apparently sometimes Shanks drank so much he needed a whole crate to himself! what the hell!)—he said, “I’m learning so much about you, boss.”

“Oh,” Shanks said weakly. “Good?”

Buggy cackled.

“Not good,” Shanks concluded.

“I’m learning a lot too,” Buggy said. “You know, I had a feeling being your first mate would be a nightmare. I thought I was prepared.” Shanks mouthed ‘prepared’ to himself, a bewildered look coming into his eyes. “But the hells you’ve put this man through, Shanks. You are so lucky that I left when I did, I would have killed you within a month.”

“When did you ever want to—” Shanks shook his head, cutting himself off. “Wait, don’t tell me, ‘no sad talk today,’ right?” Buggy swiped the bottle from Beckman, saluted Shanks with it, and took a sip. Shanks sighed. “Fine. But I’m bringing that one up when it isn’t today anymore.” After a moment he frowned, and swiped the bottle from Buggy. “And give me that, that’s mine!” He drank from it absently, taking note of the two crates sitting by the Red Force—one pried open and a bottle removed, the other as yet untouched, a familiar maker’s mark branded into the wood. “Are these both for me?” he asked Beckman.

Beckman nodded. “Just needed confirmation as to where you want them.”

Shanks licked his lips thoughtfully. “The rum can be available to the officers,” he decided. “The sake should go to my rooms.”

Eyebrows raised, Beckman whistled. “It went that badly?”

Shanks looked away and cleared his throat, flushing.

“Oh,” Beckman said, eyebrows even higher. “It went that well.” He gave Buggy a surprised, assessing look. Buggy scowled and crossed his arms, doing his best to pretend he was unaffected by Beckman knowing. Beckman smirked and got to his feet. “Alright,” he said to Shanks, putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking it a little. “But you know this means you’re getting the shame glasses for the next week instead of Rockstar.”

Shanks chuckled. “You say that like you weren’t gonna force the shame glasses on me no matter what happened.” Beckman shrugged, retrieving his half-smoked cigarette from behind his ear.

“…shame glasses?” Buggy said, wondering if he’d misheard.

The color drained out of Shanks’ face in an instant. “Beck,” he begged, “don’t.”

Beckman’s smirk went wide enough to show teeth. “Just a little bit of public humiliation we put a member of the crew through when they’ve done something unwise, but not really dangerous.” He clicked his lighter a few times before the flame held and lit his cigarette. Tucking the lighter away, he said, “There’s a silly pair of glasses he’ll have to wear in the public spaces of the ship. It doesn’t tell anyone what he did, just that he’s to be laughed at.”

Ah. Buggy nodded knowingly. “Like the punishment fruit.”

“…punishment fruit?” Beckman asked, lit cigarette smoking away in his hand, forgotten.

Shanks laughed, his natural color restored. “Oh, that. When we were too little for Mr. Rayleigh to knock us over the head when we were acting up, we had to carry around fruit while we did our chores, whatever Chef happened to have spare. The worse we’d messed up, the more we had to carry, and if we dropped one we had to add another, two if the first had been damaged. How many did you have to carry at once, a dozen?” he asked Buggy.

Buggy groaned. “I wish,” he said. “I think the most I ever had was twenty? I kept trying to find less annoying ways to carry them,” he explained to Beckman, “but I always fumbled one, and then I’d have to start over.”

“Though no one could beat the captain’s record,” Shanks said fondly.

“Thank god for that. I could barely handle twenty limes, let alone three dozen.”

“At least it wasn’t twenty coconuts.”

Buggy burst out laughing. “Oh, do you remember the day Chef only had watermelons? I thought you were going to cry.”

“I did,” Shanks admitted with a chuckle. “Four of those weighed more than me at that age, I could barely walk!”

Cigarette finally remembered, Beckman took a pull and huffed out a laugh. “Learning so much,” he said, wrenching the lid of the rum crate back into place. “I’ll have these moved to the appropriate places before dinner, boss,” he said to Shanks. “We’re expecting the rest of our guests back in the next hour or so, so you may want to move… this… somewhere more private.” And with that, he was marching up the gangplank and getting the attention of a few pirates who’d been lounging around, casually facing the docks—the Red-Haired Pirates’ version of being on watch duty, Buggy supposed.

Shanks cleared his throat.

Buggy didn’t look his way.

“Beck is… assuming things,” Shanks said, voice a little strangled. “I don’t—we don’t have to—” When Buggy gave in and looked at him, he found Shanks wearing an expression so uncomfortable and embarrassed he nearly laughed.

“How did that talk Crocus gave us go?” Buggy said, faux-thoughtfully. “‘If you can’t say the word, you’re not ready to do it?’”

Shanks spluttered. “Buggy!”

Buggy grinned. “How are you still this easy to mess with?” He gave Shanks a pat on the shoulder, hoping it came off as friendly to any onlookers. “I know we don’t have to. I haven’t decided if I want to.” Shanks let out a small, hurt sound. Buggy ignored this. “Even if I decide in your favor, I wouldn’t want to now, not when everyone will be back aboard within the hour.” He cocked an eyebrow at Shanks. “Or would that be enough time for you?”

A tortured look came over Shanks’ face: part embarrassment, part exasperation, part… something Buggy didn’t want to label just yet. “You…”

Cackling, Buggy split himself into a dozen pieces and flew off, his feet jogging up the gangplank while the rest of him reformed on a higher deck. He leaned against the railing and watched Shanks bury his face in his hand, make an incoherent noise, then board the ship like nothing had happened. Buggy grinned. It was good to be on this side of the balance of confidence, to feel comfortable around Shanks again.

Letting his legs float in the air behind him while he waited for his feet to find him, Buggy laughed a little at himself. How had he thought Shanks’ interest in him could be just physical? If anything, it was barely physical, the interactions of their bodies the only way Shanks knew of to express the gooey feelings he’d somehow kept to himself all these years. And while it would be easier for Buggy if his feelings were strictly physical… the fact was, they weren’t. A handsome man pinned in place beneath Buggy was always a welcome sight, but no one had ever been half as captivating in that position as Shanks.

And Buggy could have him in that position again, and others, if he just… made a decision.

He’d told Shanks that he hadn’t yet decided whether he wanted to push forward—which was a lie. Of course he wanted. What was yet undecided was if it was a good idea. Buggy’s gut said yes, very good in fact, but his instinct said no, not even a little. It was unsettling to have his two major impulses fighting against each other on a matter less serious than life-or-death.

He needed an outside perspective. There were plenty of those to go around on this ship, but one willing to offer him a sympathetic ear would be hard to come by. Impossible to find, really, unless… Buggy huffed out a sigh. After the way he’d acted the last few days, he’d need to do some work to regain Galdino’s favor.

If he could just figure out what that man might want…

By the time dinner service was underway, a crowd of ex-prisoners had gotten bottlenecked at the end of the dock. The wait to climb the gangplank was so long Lucky Roux had lower-ranked Red-Haired Pirates slinging buckets of food and drink down the ropes that attached the Red Force to the dock, to give the crowd something to snack on until they made it aboard ship for the main course: an enormous, slow-cured haunch of Sea King that Roux had apparently been saving for a special occasion. (And it was definitely a special occasion kind of food. Even Buggy, who’d thought himself so tired of Sea King meat that he’d be sick if he had it again, couldn’t resist going back for seconds.) The men didn’t seem to mind the wait, chatting excitedly amongst themselves and looking around the dock for friends and comrades. Given how many were squinting up at the rigging, Buggy could guess who they were really after.

After the day he’d had, he wasn’t exactly starving for attention, but it never hurt to get lavished with praise. Buggy split away his feet, jumped over the railing and did a little spin to draw the eye. “Looking for me?!” he called out.

“Captain Buggy!” they cried, ecstatic.

“I hope all of you behaved yourselves out there,” he said from his position above the crowd. “You reflect on me, and on our hosts, you know!”

“We know!”

“We wouldn’t dare bring any disrespect to yourself or the Red-Haired Pirates!”

“We were on our best behavior, we promise!”

“Captain Buggy! Captain Buggy!” said one particularly persistent man, a shaggy-haired guy Buggy couldn’t have picked out of a lineup. He started to tremble when he realized he’d successfully gotten Buggy’s attention, but with his neighbors supporting him got himself under control. He held up a brown paper package, saying, “Some of us had the idea—that is, we wanted to thank you for taking us under your wing, Captain. So… this is for you!”

Buggy’s jaw dropped. “A present?” For him? To thank Buggy for looking after them? How backwards could you get?! Well, Buggy wasn’t one to turn up his nose at free stuff. “You shouldn’t have!” Buggy said, swooping down to snatch the package out of the nervous man’s hands. He started to open it, then froze. They’d just said they’d been on their best behavior, but… “How did you get the money to pay for this?”

“Honest work!” Dozens of men threw their arms up, revealing hands that were red and chapped from manual labor.

“I’d never done any before, it was surprisingly fun!”

“We’re learning so much under Captain Buggy’s tutelage!”

Buggy grinned, shaking his head. These guys were something else. No longer worried about Shanks’ crew complaining that Buggy’s men had stolen from ordinary people—the kind of soft-hearted rule Buggy had no doubt Shanks had carried forward from their days on the Oro Jackson—he tore open the package with glee.

Under the paper sat an eyeshadow palette and a tube of lipstick.

Neither were Buggy’s usual brand, of course; these days he only wore special, extra-durable cosmetics that he ordered from hard-to-get catalogs. But the sight sparked a nostalgic pang in his chest for those early days, when he hadn’t known what he was doing or how to do it, and just grabbed things at random from every general store he robbed. They had managed to find a lip tint that was close to his usual deep red, and while the palette was mostly neutral colors, it did include a black eyeliner pencil and a square of white powder, which was all he was wanting for at the moment.

They’d noticed his makeup getting thin, and worked together to do something about it. Without even letting on that they’d noticed! To his embarrassment, Buggy found himself tearing up.

“You guys…” he choked out, clutching the gift to his chest. “You’re… you’re not half bad!” And with these inadequate words, he zoomed off to his room to give the new product a try, leaving his followers sobbing in his wake at his touching emotionality.

Galdino was in the room, of course. He’d had the sense to get back early, like the Whitebeard Pirates, and had eaten in the mess at the same time as Buggy. He hadn’t done anything so obvious as sit on the opposite side of the hall, but he’d kept his distance. The message had been pretty clear: Galdino was tired of dealing with Buggy, and he didn’t intend to start up again. Buggy had accepted that, and spent the meal attempting to convince Lucky Roux to leave his dull ship behind in favor of the far more exciting environment of the Big Top—no luck there, sadly.

But by the look on Galdino’s face at the neatly folded offering sitting on his half of the bed, Buggy had some hope that he might have better luck with this partnership.

“What is this?” Galdino asked, picking up a pair of black cropped pants. The quartermaster hadn’t had a problem with Buggy taking anything and everything he wanted—if it ended up in his stores, no one must have cared for it much, he claimed. So Buggy had pulled out everything that looked around Galdino’s size, to give him every possible option for new, clean clothes.

(He’d also grabbed a few things for himself, and changed into a new outfit before dinner—he wasn’t about to wear Shanks’ shirt in front of his crew, who’d surely recognize it.)

Buggy sighed. “An apology.” Galdino’s eyebrows went up. “Yesterday, and this morning, you were asking reasonable questions. I was just… freaking out about Shanks and pretending not to. Ignoring you didn’t help. This was the only way I could think of to make it up to you.” He shrugged. “I had to guess at your sizes, but the Red Force’s quartermaster has tons of clothes on hand, I can go back if you need a different fit.”

Galdino sorted through the pile without a word, holding shirts up to his chest and setting them aside, tugging waistbands apart and frowning. He ended up settling on that pair of black pants and a sort of reddish-orange button-up, which he tried on after silently twirling a finger at Buggy to make him turn around. Buggy didn’t deal well with silence, but he made himself still. His apology wouldn’t land right if he undermined it by acting out now.

“Okay, I’m done.” Buggy spun to take in Galdino’s new look. The fit wasn’t perfect, but it was a marked improvement on the prison uniform. And Galdino was smiling a little. Surely that had to mean— “Now, how’d you fuck it up this time?”

Buggy squawked. “Excuse me?!”

“You aren’t fooling me,” Galdino said, sitting on the edge of the bed and hooking one leg over the other. He laced his hands together and looked up at Buggy with a wide, knowing smile on his face. “You wouldn’t apologize unless you needed something from me—and you just got finished indirectly complimenting my advice. So: what went wrong today?”

“I—nothing!” Flustered, Buggy said, “Since when do you care, anyway?! I thought this didn’t concern you anymore!”

“When you were pretending there was nothing to be concerned about, it didn’t,” Galdino said bluntly. “But if you’re done with that pretense, so am I. On that note: nothing went wrong? Really?” One of his eyebrows went up. “So, you got to have your private conversation, caught up, and… that’s all? Something like six hours passed between you leaving the ship and returning, and that’s all that happened?” He glanced over at Buggy’s side of the bed, where the oden-patterned shirt sat in a crumpled pile. “While wearing a shirt from his closet?”

Buggy rolled his eyes, pretending he wasn’t blushing furiously. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, you were right. Though we did spend a few hours catching up, we also made out for a while.”

“Made out?” Galdino wrinkled his nose. “That’s all?”

Buggy frowned. “Yeah? What else were you expecting?”

“For you to get a room for the afternoon.” Enlightenment struck Galdino. “Ah, that’s what this is about. You don’t know if it’s a good idea to seal the deal.”

“I—” In a lot of ways, Galdino was a kindred spirit to Buggy, but his euphemisms were a bit… businesslike for Buggy’s tastes. “Basically.”

“Right.” Galdino relaxed a little, leaning back to consider Buggy. “Well, we’ve already established he’s a sure thing. And you like him well enough to offer lip service if not the full menu.” (“Do you have to call it that?”) “Downsides… the way you describe him, he seems soft-hearted enough, I suppose he could get overly attached.” Buggy snorted. “No?”

“He’s already overly attached,” Buggy explained. “But he’s not stupid, he knows we’re not sticking together.”

“And as you’re the one who told him so, you must know better than to get attached.” Galdino gave Buggy a considering look. “More attached, anyway.” Buggy didn’t pout at this (correct) accusation, but it was a near thing. Holding his chin in one hand, Galdino said thoughtfully, “I guess the ultimate question is, what would you regret more: missing the opportunity, or taking it and having it go bad?”

Buggy blinked. Framed like that, it was obvious. (Who knows if we’ll ever…) “Missing it.”

Galdino waved his hand toward Buggy. “There you have it, then.”

Huh. That had been easier than Buggy expected. “Thanks.” Snatching up his forgotten present with one hand and the hand mirror with the other, he floated himself up to get the best angle on the remaining sunlight shining through the window. “Now, if you'll excuse me…”

“Yeah, sure,” Galdino got to his feet with an amused expression on his face. “Got to make yourself pretty for your date.”

“Say something like that again and I’ll kill you,” Buggy said, applying a test swatch of the lipstick to his inner arm. It had a surprisingly smooth application, maybe it wasn’t as cheap as he’d assumed. He applied a quick layer to his top lip, admiring how well it blended with the tint already there. “Oh, but first, can you make me another of those make-up removing wax sticks?” Something hit Buggy in the side of the head. “Thank you!” he crooned as Galdino left the room, muttering imprecations under his breath but smiling all the while.

If Buggy had thought his spirits were lighter just knowing where he stood with Shanks, it was amazing how much better he felt knowing where he stood himself. No more second-guessing, no more doubts. Shanks was a sure thing, and so was he. Shanks just didn't know it yet.

Hm. To draw things out to torture him, or get the waiting over with?

Now this was a fun decision to be struggling with, Buggy thought as he carefully traced out the crossbones he'd been missing from his cheeks. On one hand, torturing Shanks was always a good time… on the other, given how things had gone this afternoon, Buggy had a reasonable suspicion that there was a good time to be had on the other side of that waiting.

He bit his lip thoughtfully, remembering. A very good time.

Of course, this assumed that Shanks was available. Just because he’d claimed to have the whole day free didn't make it so—look at Beckman, hanging around the docks waiting for Shanks to show up and tell him where to put his booze. There might have been another dozen small tasks like that waiting for Shanks. He hadn’t eaten dinner in the main mess; according to Lucky Roux, Shanks hadn’t left the senior officers’ lounge since he returned to the ship. That could have been to avoid Buggy, the way he’d wanted Shanks to, or it could be that the work he hadn’t been around to do today had caught up with him.

Well, there was one way to find out.

Buggy got to Shanks’ rooms without any difficulty. The decks were full of half-asleep men lounging around with their full bellies sticking out, singing along to the tune the musician and his pet (?) monkey were playing, but the inner workings of the ship were more sparsely populated. At this hour, people were either on the deck or in their rooms, not moving between spaces. Shanks would either be here, or in his senior officers’ lounge… which Buggy didn’t know the location of, so he sure hoped Shanks was here. He wasn’t about to go asking someone like Beckman where Shanks was, Buggy wasn’t interested in being that obvious.

He knocked. After a minute of quiet footfalls on gently creaking wood, the door swung open.

Shanks blinked a few times at Buggy. “Buggy?” He swiped something off the top of his head and shoved it into a drawer. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“Oh, well, you know,” Buggy said evasively, ducking around Shanks, “I thought I should return this now, or knowing me I’d forget to do it at all, and then I’d be a regular shirt thief.” He held out the oden-patterned shirt, neatly folded into the kind of bundle Rayleigh had taught them decades ago.

Shanks blinked down at the shirt. “And we wouldn’t want you being called a shirt thief,” he said slowly.

”It’s certainly not the kind of thievery I aspire to,” Buggy said, shoving the shirt into Shanks’ chest with a grin on his face. He hadn't expected him to be this slow about things, it was kind of cute.

”No,” Shanks agreed, staring down at the shirt in his hand. He set it down on a desk and looked at Buggy with hope, and maybe a hint of something else, in his eyes. “Buggy, are you—really?”

“What, did you expect me to walk in still wearing that shirt and say, oh, let me return this to you, and start stripping or something?” Buggy scoffed. “Sorry, I'm not that suave.”

“No,” Shanks agreed, “you could never make things that easy.”

Buggy raised an eyebrow at him. “I see the joke you’re leading me towards, and I’ll have you know I am never easy.”

Shanks grinned. “I’m well aware.”

Splitting a hand at the wrist, Buggy floated it around Shanks’ back. With a grin of his own, he said, “But maybe you can convince me to make an exception for you.”

The door closed. The latch slid into place. And neither were opened again until morning.

#notfic #the near miss fics #one piece #shuggy #buggy #shanks #sorry this took so long! huyandere posted new shuggy art and i lost my goddamn mind. could not focus on what i was supposed to be writing.#anyway if a scene in the next part sounds like it’s describing one of his drawings… yeah. that was very unavoidable.

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