The chance of Me being histrionic is low..

But never zero

I can't understand myself, in a minute I'm feeling like "Oh yeah! I want to do (or try) something artistic today" but at the second after it's like "But for what? What's the point? I'm not good at anything" "What if I mess it up?" "No, that's not gonna get good" and it gets worse when someone say any comment even if it wasn't something personal, but anyway my stupid sensitive ass takes it bad and makes it personal, oh but what I do? Insolate myself 'cause that's how I manage everything. Treating myself as a shitty useless thing just because I can't say if I'm sad, angry, frustrated or everything at all. Then, at the end of all I'm sitting in bad posture, looking at the wallpaper I made with my favs artists to try feel better, writing this and wishing I was different and worthy.

Also I need to get a diagnosis and stop thinking I have ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Mommy Issues or I'm just an INFP-T weirdo.

Exhausted of all my dumb existence.

theres a vent under this cut tws are in the tags ig (NOTE: I AM NOT SELF DIAGNOSING MYSELF OR FAKING ANYTHING)

a chose food over my BEST. FRIENDS. MENTAL. HEALTH. they were ranting abt how they thought they were a terrible friend and my mind just said "YkW iM gOnNa GeT sOmE fOoD iLl ChEcK uP oN hEr WhEn Im DoNe" i hate myself i hate this why am i like this why do i just eat food all the time at lunch ive been eating foods with cheese even though im lactose intolerant and ive been getting the big things of salad and apples to try and improve my memory

...

i told my school counselor on tuesday about what was going on. i told her two days after the activity started. its been i think five now. three days since ive told her. she told me it was probably a growing spurt and she understood that it could be concerning. but no. i dont think this is a growing spurt. im about to puke. my stomach hurts so bad. yet i just want more. tomorrow. tomorrow i HAVE to tell her that it didnt stop and i have so little time to tell my mom. i dont know how to. i have before october tenth. i have 11 days. its september 29th.

...

tropical storm ian is gonna come back to america. the atlantic waters are gonna help it get stronger. ians not done yet. i dont even know what to call it. hurricane ian or tropical storm ian. at least it wont be like a category five.

...

i feel so bad for people in flordia.

not self diagnosing here but-

Im not autistic (not that i know of) but i HATE HYPERFIXATIONS im currently hyperfixated on the ship gradientcube from regretevator (as you could probably tell by my latest posts) and it HURTS consuming media of them HURTS MY BODY LIKE IT ACTUSLLY PHYSICALLY HURTS SO BAD ive been miserable these past few days over me being addicted to these two ive never been in so much pain in my life (this is my second time going through something like this, the first time was with climber from law of talos/endzone/castle of nations) i dont know what to do and i actuslly need advice on how to help myself bc its gotten so bad like ive never wanted to rip my skin off over seeinf something i love, pls save me i literally pray every night that my hyperfix dies out soon bc idk how much longer i can take of this….

watching crunchy asmr with like slime and stuff will never not be boring

it’s nostalgic, too! for me at least. I used to watch cookieswirlc and I’m p sure she did that stuff at some point

I think I have ADD, it was suggested when I went to the school psychologist but it’s been brushed aside since, (by my mother) and I can’t ask my mum to get me tested because i feel like it would make me seem, I don’t know, I can’t put it in words. But the more I read up on it, it feels like I’ve finally been understood, along with apd (which could also be apart of it) I’ve already been diagnosed with anxiety, and there was I time where I went to the doctor about depression when I was like, ten? They had said I did have it, though only a ‘tiny bit’ which I didn’t think made sense.

Im trying to do better in school this year, considering it’s my last year of highschool and I’ve got a interview on Monday, and I feel like this is something I need to figure out.

coming back to 3dblr after “recovery”

I find it funny when someone self-diagnoses themselves with autism, allistics and neurotypicals are always the ones complaining about it. “You can’t diagnose yourself! You’re mocking people with actual autism! It isn’t valid! You’re taking away resources from actual autistic people!”

But, then diagnosed autistic people themselves will look at that same self-diagnosed person and be like: “Oh, yeah. You’re definitely one of us.”

Also, the question is this; What resources are we taking away from diagnosed Autistic people? What resources are there for us to take? And, how would we do that anyway?

Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive

humans are the experts on their own minds

family may prevent assessment

diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes

diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more

medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it

discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.

Assessment waiting lists often long

medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible

Neurodiverse Journeys

I can’t do it anymore, fr I‘m so tired

Not going to tag a very icky post that I found but it’s not hard to find. So, here’s your reminder that;

Self suspecting and self diagnosed autistic people are NOT taking resources from diagnosed people. You can’t get autism services without a diagnosis, you can’t go to any therapies really without a diagnosis and so on.

Autism accessories have a abundance supply. So yeah, get those ear defenders, get those sunglasses, get those stim toys.

You aren’t taking anything from diagnosed people.

Stop saying self diagnosed people are taking away from diagnosed people, because they’re not. They have their space in the community. The community is big enough for them.

truly what is r the main differences like ACTUAL differences not things in common with adhd and autism

"you're weird" thanks i try very hard to mask my undiagnosed autism / adhd, good to know i need to mask better :3

Neurodivergent people are never undiagnosed. We are misdiagnosed. Our symptoms don't go unnoticed, and people will always attribute them to some sort of cause. They'll just attribute them to personality and blame the individual for their symptoms.

For example. My autism is not undiagnosed, it's been misdiagnosed as "too sensitive," "awkward," "rude," "obsessive," and "too intense." My brother's adhd wasn't undiagnosed, it was misdiagnosed as "lazy," "impulsive," "annoying," and "can't seem to get any work done."

Growing up without a diagnosis is growing up believing that you are to blame for your differentness. Your symptoms are a personality flaw. You are diagnosed by everyone around you as "weird."

Edit: Some people have pointed out that I'm using the word misdiagnosis here rather loosely. I'm aware that it isn't quite correct definitionally, and I don't mean to say that medical misdiagnosis and the type of social misattribution I'm talking about are identical--just that they are related phenomena, and neurodivergent people are often victims of one or both. There isn't an exact term for what I'm talking about here, so I used the closest one I knew of. Terminology is important and some words need to be used with precision to retain their influence. At the same time, sometimes meanings change, and bending words to fit new circumstances is a natural way that language evolves. I'm not sure which situation this falls under, so while I don't want to change my post (not even sure what to change it to), I thought I'd edit and add clarification. Additional feedback on this is welcome.