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fe-semi-decent-scenarios · 4 years

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What if s/o ended up rejecting their marriage proposal? Not because there was someone else but instead from not being ready to commit. Maybe since they're still young and s/o doesn't want to hold them back from other opportunities now that the war is over? (whatever house or characters are fine! Thank you~)

[As someone with their own skepticism towards marriage, I can totally see this happening tbh. Those precious babies have basically spent their entire lives up until that point either battling in school or fighting a war, so a few years of me-time are definitely owed to them]- I’ll do BL for this since they were my first run. Hope you like it!

Dimitri:

Let’s get one thing straight. Dimitri is ready to marry you and become your partner for life. The moment he popped out that ring he laid himself bare to you. He’s yours, and wants you to be his.

Upon rejection he’ll be hurt, but he also won’t fight you. It is your decision how to spend the rest of your days after the war. By Sothis you’ve earned that right at least after everything that’s happened.

It’s when you bring up the “holding him back,” issue where he’ll rebuttal. That familiar glint of distress will bypass him at the words. You could never. Hell, your presence alone shrouds his world in light and he makes sure that you know it before going your separate ways. Be it through a sweet kiss, or words of affirmation; he’ll do it all.

“My beloved...I will wait for you. I will always be waiting for you”

He’s already lost so much, but he won’t lose you. He’ll wait as long as you need to feel comfortable.

He keeps the ring safe at all times in a pocket sewn into his cloak

From then on he won’t bring up marriage again until you do first. And when is happens? Get ready for him to whip out that bad boi all over again

Ashe:

For once he isn’t a stuttering mess. This is supposed to be a happy moment...so why aren’t you smiling?

He came into the goddess tower entirely prepared for rejection, but that didn’t make it hurt any less

Well, until you elaborated further. Ashe may be awkward but he is no fool. He knows where you’re coming from, and is happy you’re sharing how you feel.

“If you want to wait, then we can wait,” would be his immediate response. He’d extend his arms out for a hug and wait for your initiative to respect your boundaries. If you accept he’s over the moon

Going slow doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen. This is a chance to treat you like the goddess you are in his eyes. From then on he’s sure to properly court you like he would have done if the war never happened

Dates, flowers, strolls in the woods, etc. He puts his knowledge of romance novels to use

One day you both will be wed, but for now he’ll appreciate the little things you do together. As long as you love each other then that’s what counts

Felix:

The main reason he popped the question is because a life without you is one that he doesn’t want to live

I won’t sugarcoat this. When you reject him he gets upset. The goal of this was to ensure you’ll be in each others lives...but now what? Are you saying that he’s not good enough to share your life with?

He doesn’t say anything when you reject him(which is what scares you the most)

All you can glimpse is how his eyes glaze over, and that familiar scowl paint his lips

Felix storms off immediately to go let off steam before he says something he’ll regret

Leaves so fast that he drops the ring.

Panics later when he can’t find it, searches for two days, and naturally concludes that you were the one to pick it up after asking around

You’re the one to approach him to return it. Naturally, as Felix does, he gets snappy

“I don’t need your pity,” he says. It takes everything out of you to get him to listen beyond the rejection. Upon hearing that you just want to wait he calms down.

He tries to play off his stubborn behavior but you see through it, just like you always have. You’ll still take him after that childish display, right?...right?

Dedue:

Dedue is...discouraged. Who wouldn’t be after being rejected?

It doesn’t show much though. He’s the type to kind of nestle those personal feelings down until no one is around

Hope still remains though. Just as with the others, he knows that waiting does not mean forever. For now he will stay by his highness’ side while you take the time to find your place in the world

Dimitri actually takes the news harder than Dedue. He was certain that you to were going to be wed, and that Dedue would finally have the peaceful life he deserved

After explaining the situation thoroughly he is happy for you both, and even offers to give Dedue as much time as he wants off to spend with you

You both still go see the flowers of Duscur together, just as planned. That time is a memory he holds precious to his heart, and it made him come to realize how nice slowly learning about each other can be

While not often, when you both take excursions together your bonds do grow. He loves when you share stories of the places you visit, and in turn learning more about you as a person.

Sylvain:

He’s been there and done that with commitment insecurities

By far the most understanding of your situation out of all the lions. He’s lived with the fear that people would want him only for his crest his whole life. In all honestly, he’s relieved that you’re one to take things slow

There isn’t even a misunderstanding between you two. He waits till you’re entirely done talking to digest your answer.

Hey, it’s better than flat rejection <~{Sylvain’s thought process}

“So...this means there’s still a chance?Yes!” his enthusiasm after being told no shocks you to the core

He’ll respect your wishes always. If you feel that you need time to find yourself before committing to him then he wouldn’t dream of stopping you

When you are ready to spend your lives together he will happily go flaunt to all his friends that he’s a taken man. That’s just his style.

Each and every day you spend together only makes him want to marry you more. When the time is right he will do everything in his power to ensure that you don’t regret having him at your side.

Ingrid:

After the loss of Glenn her heart is fragile, but not glass

She will be happy in all honesty. As long as you both care about each other then she could care less about putting a label on it

It’s just that her family says otherwise, you know? She’s going to have to produce an heir at some point

But hey...some point doesn’t have to be now. She may be a knight by title but that doesn’t mean her dream ends here

While you’re off exploring the vast horizons of the world she’ll be off doing what she believes is right. From stabilizing the Galetea household, to aiding in the renovation for Faerghus. Just because the war is over doesn’t mean her job is

When you both do decide to settle down she’ll be genuinely happy. It will be when you both take time for yourselves, and can maybe not almost get killed every day

Annette:

Annette will probably shed a few tears post-confession, so be prepared. These are tears of happiness though. You do care about her, and you do want to stay with her even if it is not how she pictured it

It may not be a proposal, but maybe one day???

“R-really? You mean it?” She’d say when you assure her that you share her feelings, but want to take things slow

She might playfully slap you when you express your views of holding her back

Yes she has potential but so do you. Never EVER think that she wants anyone else, or that she views you as baggage

No matter where you go, what you do, or whatever happens in the world: Annette will always be in contact. She’ll send letters if you’re far, visit if you’re near, and don’t you ever forget it.

“Hello! I hope that you’re safe and eating well! I miss you so much-” Most letters start like this. She’s a worry-wart.

Mercedes:

Mercedes is a well-rounded person. Due to this she’ll most likely know how you feel before you even say anything. It’s a gift I tell you

Out of all the Lion’s she’ll be the one to suggest a courtship and time apart instead of you. She doesn’t expect a proposal, but will still express her feelings

She has her own goals to fulfill now that the main fighting is over. While she’s in good health she wants to help people, so it doesn’t rub her wrong if you want to leave

“Promise me to take care of yourself, okay” despite this she will always worry

A proper courtship is in order for you two. She’ll bake you sweets, and you’ll prep the tea. When you both have downtime it’s like magic. Nothing beats getting to know each other without tomorrow’s battle hanging over your heads

Just...don’t entirely leave. Even if you both are waiting it’s important to ensure each other feels validated. That goes for all relationships, not just yours with Mercedes

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jungleuniversity · 4 years

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How I Improved My MCAT Score (509 -> 518)

Hi Everyone! I got back my new MCAT scores awhile ago, but I thought I’d write a post about how I achieved my score, with hope that it could potentially help another student. I know that while I was studying, a lot of the advice I saw on the internet was overwhelming and made me feel that my level of studying would always be inferior to what others were doing. The vast array of available courses, practice tests, and other services available certainly did not help either, as there is no reasonable way to complete every single resource that exists. In this post, I’ll go through a timeline of my basic study plan and explain which resources I used and why I think they are worth using.

Stage 1 - Kaplan 7 book set and other content resources

I had trouble coming up with a time frame for how long it should take to go through the Kaplan set, which is why I simply called this part the “first stage.” Many guides I have read online mention strictly separated “content review” and “practice exam” phases of studying. Personally, that would never have worked out for me because I would have gotten anxious every time I got a question wrong during the exam phase. Instead, I spent about 3-4 months simply reading and taking notes out of the books, and then doing a mixed exam and content review stage. I used each book in the following ways, especially the second time I studied:

Biochemistry - For the first half of the book I took detailed notes as if I were learning from an ordinary biochemistry textbook for a class. For the second half, I eased on the notes and started drawing out the different pathways. I think I wrote down the Electron Transport Chain pathway 10-15 times and the Citric acid cycle path about 50 times. I did not draw the shapes of compounds, but I won’t tell you not to do that either.

Biology - Same as the Biochem book. I did spend extra time on “high yield content” that's more difficult to memorize, such as actin/tropomyosin activity in muscle.

Physics - I cannot stress what I am about to say enough. The absolute most important things to know from this book are the units. If you are truly stuck on a physics (or often chemistry) question, there is a very good chance you can use dimensional analysis to force your way to the right answer in a relatively brief amount of time. If nothing else, PLEASE learn the units behind every concept.

Chemistry - Use the advice from physics, but I also took pretty heavy notes, especially in the first half, since there’s a lot of content that, despite being easier than biochemistry in my opinion, are foundational and will cause problems if you skip it.

Behavioral Sciences - This was the section that brought down my first attempt score. I found that the premed95 anki deck that’s in circulation was helpful, but it made me incredibly lazy in studying to the point where I would pretend to be productive, while just looking at slides. I was desperate not to repeat my mistakes, so I brute forced my way through the Kaplan book this time instead. I didn’t take notes the way I did for other subjects - instead I hand wrote every single bolded word and definition in a notebook, organized by chapters. This took about a week and I did not study any other subject during this time. I don’t know if I would recommend this method for Behavioral Sciences for everyone, but the truth is that after I did this, my practice section scores went from 124 to 128-130. One thing to keep in mind though, the last few sections of the Physics/Math book are absolutely critical to the Behavioral Sciences section as they are the only resource within the Kaplan set which explain the research methodologies for both Psychology and Sociology.

Organic Chemistry - I took sparse notes on this book. I think it's the least useful out of the 7 book set, and I often had to look to the internet and old organic chemistry class notes to clarify mechanisms and pathways. Nevertheless, make flashcards or write down reactions such as the Aldol condensation, which more likely than not will show up at some point.

CARS - Skip this book. In my opinion, there are better ways to study this section. Most importantly, use the CARS question packs from AAMC.

Stage 2 - CARS, Mixed Content Review and Practice Exams (2-3 weeks)

This is around when I started taking CARS much more seriously, so I would recommend starting earlier. I mainly focused on using the two AAMC question packs, although the KhanAcademy passages were also useful. The first question pack was definitely a bit more difficult and you might feel discouraged after going through half of it. However, I promise it does get better. Part of the change is that as you read explanations for why you get questions wrong, your skill will begin to improve. The other part is that the second half of the question pack, as well as most of the second question pack are more closely aligned with the difficulty level of the actual test.

This was also when I began taking NextStep full length exams. (Insert surprised Pikachu face) My first score was a 501. Definitely not expected at the time, but it was a necessary wakeup call to understand where my content gaps were.

After each exam I took from this point on, I would take the rest of the day off after taking the exam. Just relax, after taking a 7 hour exam, you deserve it tbh. The next day, go over the entire exam, question by question and take notes where you need to. I wrote very brief 1-line notes for questions I got right and understood, and more detailed notes for all incorrect questions as well as correct questions that I did not fully understand. This is important for two reasons: First, this allows you to know exactly where your content gaps are and understand how you can improve applying the concepts that you already know. Second, there’s only so many different things they can ask you on the MCAT. It might sound endless, but there are a finite number of concepts and you are bound to see very similar questions on future practice tests and also on the real MCAT. In my experience, writing down the explanation for the correct answers on missed questions ensured that I never get a similar question incorrectly in the future. Overall, next-step exams were alright, but their content felt incredibly low-yield. Now, studying low yield concepts is extremely important, but it's obviously detrimental if that's all you study.

For the next month, I would alternate between taking next-step and AAMC full lengths, with breaks in between to review my content gaps. My highest Nextstep exam was a 512, but I tended to score around 507-508. My aamc exams, in order, were 519, 517, and 515. The downward trend was concerning, but I was honestly happy since all of those scores were higher than my target at the time, 513. Also, I falsely began to think that NextStep exams were extremely deflated. (They are, but not nearly to the extent that you might think.)

Finally, the day before my first exam: I couldn’t sleep at all, and I went against common advice of not studying on this day. As for exam day, just trust yourself and the studying you have done. My main advice beyond what anyone else will tell you is to keep a close eye on the clock. Several people who tested with me lost up to 5 minutes on CARS because they forgot to take into account the time during their lunch break. Not every test center will have digital clocks, and the one I went to only had a tiny analog clock near the area they check you in. When I asked a proctor for the time, he just laughed. So make sure you look at the clock and remember the time when your break starts.

My score on the first exam turned out to be a 509. Not necessarily a bad score at all, but this score was much lower than what I was aiming for. It was disappointing, mainly due to the time I put into studying, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. My behavioral sciences section severely pulled my score down, and there were a few content areas that I truly was not prepared for. I felt bad about it for about a week, and afterwards started studying again.

Stage 3: Final Preparations

Initially, I found it relatively difficult to study during the semester. One of my friends recommended I use UWorld questions to effectively use my time. This resource definitely helped me out when I felt like I simply did not have enough time to finish studying. They provide you with 1500 or so questions, categorized by section and sub categorized by topic. You can choose how many questions or passages you want to do in one sitting, and if you want it timed or not. After you finish, they provide you with personalized statistics for the session, as well as explanations for each question, which are saved and can be viewed at any time. Alongside simply rereading the Kaplan books, this is the best way to reinforce content knowledge.

The final resource I used were the Altius exams. I purchased a pack of 5 on a whim because 1) I ran out of practice tests and 2) someone on reddit said these were severely under-appreciated. Well, that gamble paid off because I believe these exams are about as close as you can get to the AAMC full lengths, BUT they give you much more detailed explanations, and are just a little bit more difficult, so you actually end up feeling like the AAMC practice exams are a bit smoother and easier to pace yourself on. After purchasing, I had one month to take all five, as well as the then-recently-released AAMC FL #4. Altius exams were great, and honestly, my only “complaint” was that CARS felt a little bit too difficult to be as useful as it could be. I also studied Behavioral Sciences and Biochemistry the way I described in Part 1, since I felt like I underperformed on those sections.

When second exam day approached, I forced myself to get a full night of sleep this, and it absolutely paid off. I was noticeably more aware during this test than my previous attempt, and corrected myself before making a bunch of silly errors.

A month later, I found out I got a 518, which was higher than my original goal.

Tl;dr:

Studying for the mcat is expensive, and it can be hard to find advice on which resources are useful.

In my opinion, only: Altius exams are amazing. UWorld is a great resource for content gaps and reinforcement, especially when you have sharp time constraints. Kaplan books are awesome for content review, but it should be fine if you buy an older edition (I used 2015).

#long post #mcat #mcat studying #medblr #studyblr #mcat advice #premed #premedblr #medical school #wild if u read this whole thing #studyspo #s post

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nihilisme · 3 years

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y’all know what time it is. i can’t sleep so i’m gonna write

I talk about some pretty heavy shit later on - so don’t read if you get triggered by sexual assault/rape/abuse etc.

It’s nearing my period and every time it’s close to my period, my PMDD symptoms flare up. For those who don’t know, it’s PMS pumped to the max. You have extremely horrible thoughts, yes, at times, suicidal - you feel incredibly hopeless, and it’s basically just this guaranteed time slot every month of where you will feel like utter, utter shit. Without fail.

Funny enough I’ve never noticed that the horrible feelings are a recurring cycle until I met my current boyfriend. And to my horror, I realized my mom had been dealing with this for years. She’d have horrible fits of rage during this time, and I honestly feel so bad that her husband didn’t care enough, and was too stupid, to get her proper help. Yeah she’s fucking difficult. But if you enable abusive behavior you’re as bad as the abuser.

Never mind my mom at this point. But the PMDD symptoms are incredibly lessened when I am on birth control. I suspect if I were on other medications it would lessen the symptoms more, but birth control fucks with me enough already that I don’t feel comfortable taking other meds.

And yet I still cried so hard yesterday knowing that one of my friends is hanging out with somebody I had a relationship fallout with. It’s like - you can’t make everyone like you, I know that. And I am in pretty healthy relationships with other people. AND on top of that - I know that I’ve been relentlessly working on improving myself, really fighting very hard to not let my bad thoughts control my life.

I’ve been living in this constant limbo of working on myself, applying healthy coping skills, and improving throughout the month - and then hitting that period of PMDD and feeling like all I worked was for nothing. Like, it does get better on the long run - but the dips can be as debilitating as they are discouraging. It is... harrowing to describe how suicidal I can get during PMDD. And the worst part is, for many years, the feelings just made sense. And even yesterday, and now, the feelings make sense because I do have low self esteem still, something I work really hard on fixing every day.

Being a woman is hell, honestly. I’ve been constantly hounded and accosted for sex since I was 14. Part of it because my abusive relationship with my parents led me into chasing boyfriends at an early age - to replace my dysfunctional relationship with what I hoped would more stable - WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING I WAS DOING IT. Because I was a child. Just wanting stable, reliable affection lol.

I was raped when I was 18. When I confessed what happened to my parents, my dad told me I was asking for it because of what I was wearing. Because I was in his room - even though at that point, we’d been going out for 8 months. And I drew my boundaries clearly. I didn’t want to have sex. I gave him everything else. I basically let him use my body the way he wanted - because I thought if I let a man use my body, my emotional needs wouldn’t be too much. I thought it was a fair exchange, because at that point I hadn’t realized that being in a relationship wasn’t a fucking business deal. Because that’s all I’d been taught.

Even before that relationship all a guy wanted from me in the end was sex. And they were teenage boys - sure. It’s mostly hormones at that point. But I remember my second boyfriend spreading rumors in high school that I was a prude because I refused to have sex with him lol.

In college, I had a grad TA I worked under who would make me do all his work because I was a woman. This isn’t conjecture - he literally said it was a woman’s work to do the “admin” work. AKA - GRADING ENGINEERING PAPERS. WITH PHYSICS, CALCULUS, AND OTHER ENGINEERING SUBJECTS (this was an intro engineering class, it had all the flavors of engineering subjects thrown in). You’re really gonna sit here and tell me the subject of physics is just administrative work to grade. Ok pal. What the fuck ever.

I met another professor in college, when I was doing my final engineering project - it was a data science project, and at that point it was early on before Data Science was a big buzzword. So being seniors in college who were engineering students but not exactly comp sci students (hard to explain) we decided to go to an expert to help get us started. I went with a white guy with whom I was pretty friendly, acquainted with at the time. And then when we met this professor - he basically ripped me a new asshole because I wasn’t “prepared”. And he only yelled at me, and not the guy I was with. “Why are you even asking me such basic questions? Why are you not prepared?” But literally only directing those questions at me, the brown girl in the room. NONE of the hostility at the white guy.

I have other stories. Especially at my last work place - but there’s just a myriad of it and I kind of want to get back to the meat of my story again.

Realizing I have PMDD has just been the icing on the cake on the experience of being a woman tbh. On top of the emotional abuse I experienced my entire life, sexual abuse I faced when I was 18, the struggle of getting through an engineering degree, knowing that every month my struggles basically reset is kind of... wow. It’s almost too much honestly. Idk how I’ve been holding on all this time.

And maybe this is the time I should toot my horn, for the sake of my sanity. I’ve had some pretty cool jobs since I graduated college. Like, the type of jobs that make people IRL go, Wow, when I talk about it. The prestige that comes with it, I won’t lie, is like a straight shot of crack to the brain. I’ve never done crack so I’m sure that was 100% completely scientifically accurate.

But truly, I do wonder how the fuck I’ve made it through all of this. I’ve made it through all of it and I’ve thrived. And on top of it all - I am so thankful for my loving boyfriend who consistently shows me love. I love him so much. It’s easy to take things for granted now, when I feel more stable. Because when I don’t I feel like it’s literally magma trying to escape my pores. The anger, the horrible feelings, are crazy. Are too much.

I need to write about this shit to remind myself what I’ve gone through and what I’ve overcome. And I’ll keep accomplishing things, even when there are times when I don’t feel that way at all. When I feel like things are crumbling around me and it feels like nothing will heal, and nothing will get fixed.

They will if I just ride the feelings out, and know that it is my PMDD. As shitty and horrible as I feel, I know it’s the PMDD. And when I finally bleed, the feeling will pass. And then the cramps will begin lol.

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shaymiens · 3 years

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(ace!dames anon) i'm only suggesting the possibility bc he's the only one in s/m/o/s/h who explicitly asked us not to. youtubers generally have said it's weird for them, but i don't remember anyone else making a specific request to their audience to not (not that i follow every single content creator. can you imagine?) then again, he's mentioned at least once (pod) that he sets physical boundaries with his coworkers, so maybe it's not that surprising he'd draw that line for the rest of us.

(re: this post)

ahh i see, makes sense. i will say, ofc everyone reacts to certain things in different ways, but personally i’ve noticed that on youtube there are the occasions where youtubers will sorta brush aside fan behavior such as shipping/fetishization/sexualization/etc and play it off as smthn comedic UNTIL the fans take it way too far + way too publicly, and the youtuber has to explicitly ask fans to Not Do That lol. (examples include mark/iplier, jac/ksepticeye, game g/rumps...) now i know dami has some very loud fans and inevitably a couple of em are bad apples, but idk if they’ve pushed things far enough to prompt him to explicitly set a boundary?

BUT i will also say that of the entire sm/osh cast, damien has always seemed the most wary about fans crossing a line. like in the early years, he didn’t discourage any specific fan behavior per se, but i feel like he was always careful to not encourage overly shippy stuff. (to contrast, i honestly do not know how shayne and courtney have not entirely flipped their shit with the dating rumors yet, lmao. idk they’re on a whole other level of chill.) and i suppose that would point to an aversion to sex maybe lol, but idk, dami’s always just been a v private guy ? stuff about his love life, pics and vids from improv back in the day, the nitty gritty about his past and his family -- i feel like unless they’re already out in the open, he tries to exercise control over these very private parts of his life, not unlike the way he wants to control (and prevent) the way people view his sex life.

i dunno, him asking fans to not sexualize him just never felt like an indication of asexuality to me personally, and while i’m all for people “headcanoning” the sexual orientations of fictional characters, tbh i’m not sure if i can encourage people to do the same with the very real, very alive damien lolol. ehh regardless, thanks for the asks anon, they were very thought-provoking 🧠🧠

#damien #replies #anon #oof this is a long reply #i do be thinking

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know-the-way · 4 years

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Sorry to bother, through your posts I learned that SRB had an IG takeover yesterday but I missed it Ç_Ç Can you pls tell me if she said something relevant or hopeful about Zelda/Faustus/Spellwood? When I say hopeful I don't necessarily mean them ending up together. I'm not delusional, Faustus went too far in his madness and authors clearly submitted to fan wishes of having Z in a lesbian ship (a total asspull). I meant them having a plot wise proper closure as in they share history together.

I’m sure you’ve already hunted down the info shared in the takeover by now, but imo – there were positive and negative things shared about Zelda/Faustus. The ‘negative’ would be that when asked if there was a chance Spellwood could end up together, SRB said, “No spoilers, but y’know - after you put someone under a Caligari spell and kill them in a separate timeline, you are in the dog house, mister!” Which I think is incredibly fair, but it hints that we are probably not headed towards a happy ending for the two of them.

However, there was… a rather decent amount of talk regarding their past/potential feelings they had for one another. SRB was asked if Zelda ever loved Faustus and her response was ~*interesting*~, to say the least – 1. Because she implied that if Zelda ever did love him, she probably did not realize it since she would have felt “forbidden” to love someone and 2. She brought up the idea of Faustus loving Zelda without any prompting and said, “to be honest, I think he did.” Which is like… the closest we’ve ever come to “confirmation” that either of them ever had any kind of genuine affection for the other.

Ultimately, if I had to guess – I would say we probably are going to get some more insight into their past and I am hopeful that includes closure for them, but I think – no matter what – it is going to be hella tragic and hella painful. So I would just… be prepared for that. lol

In regards to Zelda’s “lesbian” relationship – I genuinely did not read the relationship as fan service. I personally feel that if they were giving in to fan service, Madam Spellman would have been canon 10 episodes ago. Everyone’s welcome to their own opinion, of course, but I think Marie serves a very important purpose and is going to help facilitate a lot of growth for the characters. The witches in Greendale are just breaking free of centuries upon centuries worth of oppression and darkness, with what I interpreted to be a path towards night AND light now. Hecate is “The Dark Mother,” but she also allows her followers to love and be loved. Which is entirely new territory for Zelda’s coven. Marie is a wonderful bridge for them in this uncertain time as she is a steward for the path of light. In addition, she seems to have some sort of mystical connection to whatever is coming in the next season, so that may prove to be very useful for them when they start to combat the Eldritch Terrors.

AND, in learning how to process and accept emotions better through Marie, this may help uncover some feelings of the past that were buried a long time ago in order to properly process them now. *looks in camera like I’m on The Office* If you catch my drift.

Also, just gonna say – and this not directed entirely at you or any other one person - as a bisexual woman, I am bothered by the repeated implication that being in a relationship with a woman automatically makes Zelda a lesbian. As much as it would bother me if someone said her being married to Faustus inherently made her heterosexual. We don’t know what Zelda’s sexual identity is for certain, but it is incredibly discouraging to see the conversations about her sexual identity limited to such polarizations (gay or straight), when bi/pansexual is a perfectly valid identity itself (so is choosing not to identify at all). You can simultaneously be attracted to both women and men – can personally attest to that fact – so this could certainly be the case for Zelda, as well. Sorry to go off on a tangent, it’s just that I’ve seen too many people try to label Zelda one way or the other based on her behavior and not who she/the writers declare herself to be, and that’s disappointing as someone who often feels the need to defend or “prove” my identity pretty regularly because I don’t look or act a certain way.

I don’t think it’s anyone’s direct intention to be dismissive of bi/pansexuality in these conversations, but I just needed to express that the way these conversations often play out (across the entire spectrum of the fandom, tbh)... can be indirectly hurtful. :/

#zelda spellman #faustus blackwood #spellwood #zarie #mambo marie

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serenewrites · 5 years

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Tips on Character Development

(AKA the convoluted way I do things)

Ok, so, wow. This ended up being like super ridiculously long. Sorry about that. I just got done adding "a thing or two" and it ended up being longer than what I originally wrote.

So, a while ago I responded to a post on Reddit asking for help developing a character. My comment seemed to help a few people, so I figured I'd add a thing or two and post it for anyone else who may find it helpful!

TL;DR: I think Personality tests —Myers Briggs and Enneagram — used in tandem make a pretty complete, rounded character. Add in some Pinterest Character Inspiration boards to that and you've got some preeettyyy developed characters. Also, OneNote rocks my world.

If you wanna read my entire process, keep reading. If not, just read the first few paragraphs and you'll get the idea. If you don’t care, ignore me and scroll on, friend.

The Personality Tests

When I started getting my MCs together, I took a Myers Briggs personality test for each of them! 16 Personalities is a really great resource because you just answer how your character would and it gives you so much information on what type of person they'd be. If you go to that second link, it goes deeper into their theory and what each aspect of the test results actually mean. If you're looking for that, scroll down to the Five Personality Aspects part of the second link. I think the entire thing is neat, so I recommend the read. Anyways, I've done this for my protagonists, as well as my main BBEGs, and some minor characters that I was kind of struggling with.

From there, I also looked up what Enneagram types they'd line up with according to their Myers Briggs type. That site talks a lot about what the Enneagram personality stuff is all about. It's worth a read. The whole concept is pretty neat. Your personality type is similar to the personality types that are near you, but also reflects to the types across from you. Or something... I'm explaining this poorly, I know haha.

There are a few ways I went about relating the two personality tests. I didn't want to take two different tests. I really like the Myers Briggs because it's all about decisions, but I like that the Enneagram talks a lot about how they interact with each other and the world. It kind of gave me a more rounded vision of who they are. Instead of taking two tests, I used this site to find a correlation between the Myers Briggs type and the Enneagram type.

There are 9 Enneagram types. Russell Rowe (not Crowe, I know, I thought it too) does an AWESOME job of breaking them down... into 15-20 page PDFs.

Enneagram Type 1

Enneagram Type 2

Enneagram Type 3

Enneagram Type 4

Enneagram Type 5

Enneagram Type 6

Enneagram Type 7

Enneagram Type 8

Enneagram Type 9

You can easily find any of those by Googling "Enneagram Type x Russell Rowe" and it'll pop up as literally the first thing. But I linked each of them to the above list. I have each of those PDFs saved into my OneNote folder for each major character, good or evil. I highlighted things that really stuck out to me for each character.

After reading through all those, I was able to figure out if that was truly who I wanted my character to be. Is that personality type and Enneagram type truly who I envisioned my character? If yes, move forward. If not, retake the tests. I retook my one MC's Myers Briggs test 3 times, I think, and once I rounded it out with the Enneagram type, I really got her how I wanted her, so don't get discouraged if you read the results and don't feel like it fits your characters!

This is the point where I kind of venture off into more of how I do things, so I won't feel bad if you don't want to read my word vomit from here on out. I kind of just talk about the benefits of questionnaires vs the personality test method, how I use OneNote to keep track of my character development, and visual inspiration using Pinterest.

If you decide to keep reading, thanks! Also, buckle up, because it's a lot...

Personality Tests vs Character Questionnaires

So, I use Scrivener, but I also have used Bibisco (free!) in the past. Bibisco has a really, really detailed questionnaire that asks questions I hadn't even thought about. How does this character eat? What are they usually dressed like? What's their favorite type of music? Are they a pessimist or an optimist? A realist? Are they book smart or street smart? There's like... literally HUNDREDS of questions on there. It also asks about family members, relationships, sexuality (I think, but it's worth adding), past events that occurred before the book.

While I am a perfectionist, I started with the Bibisco stuff and then ended up falling off the wagon with it because it took so excruciatingly long to complete one for each character. I already had a pretty good idea of how each of them would act and I didn't really want to put myself in a box creatively. Sometimes my characters just grow organically as I write and I make discoveries about them that way!

The Bibisco questions, and questionnaires overall, are so helpful, but again, they can be so so time consuming. If you have the time (and that's your jam) I totes recommend it. Bibisco so in-depth and has so many questions that I honestly hadn't even thought about. But I have 4 main characters, and 2 major minor characters, and 1 BBEG in my first book alone. I just could not handle like hundreds of questions per person. And tbh, the Myers Briggs and Enneagram was enough for me!

All of that to say, the way Bibisco breaks down their information and some questions it asks are really cool and helpful. While I don't answer each question it has, I do like to think of just in general, how does Kein act? How does she carry herself, talk, laugh, cry? Does she belly laugh or is it more of a quiet giggle. When she cries, does she try to hide it and push everyone away (spoiler alert, yes), or does she cry openly and ask for help?

OneNote is your super organized best friend forever

I compile all of this information into OneNote, which... is honestly a post in and of itself (something I would be more than happy to do if people were interested). OneNote is just the most amazing way to keep track of everything in my world (venturing past char dev here, for a tiny second).

I first discovered how useful it was when I started my homebrew campaign for dnd and it has been so invaluable ever since. Especially for the worldbuilding I am currently doing for my fictional world. I'm also pretty sure anyone who has Windows and the Microsoft Office Suite, has it for free. So if you do have Microsoft Office, I HIGHLY recommend checking out OneNote for book/character organization.

In OneNote, I have different collections set up for worldbuilding, chapter notes, a to-do list, a timeline, and most importantly (or relevantly) for characters. I have a section for the protagonists, the villains, the good guys, bad guys, and then misc neutral people. Though, usually, people in my book fall into the good or bad sections. I have neutral people for things that have happened historically, but that's neither here nor there.

Within each section, say, the Heroes, I have a "page" for each of my main characters. Their title page is just a bunch of random notes that I hastily added on the go, but the subpages are where it's at. Each subpage is based off the Bibisco (see above) sections. Personal Data, Physical Features, Behaviors/Attitude, Psych, Ideas/Passions, Interpersonal, Life Before the Story, Conflict, Evolution, and Visual Inspiration.

The psych section of Bibisco is a very in depth 64 questions on their psychological profile. In my OneNote, this is more or less where I put my personality test results and I highlight important information. Instead of answering 64 questions that answer whether or not Kein is outgoing or shy, the personality profiles answer those for you, quite easily.

For example, Kein tested as ISTP-T. She is an Introvert, Observant, Thinking, Prospecting, and Turbulent. Even just looking at that last sentence, it tells me more about my character than any 64 questions about how hardworking, free-spirited, or vain (all Bibisco questions) she is.

I really like how Bibisco broke down the information, but how it goes about char dev doesn't work for me personally. So I modified it to work for me! Instead of answering all those questions, I read through the questions and the personality profiles I have in the Psych section. In the other sections, I just type a blurb or two about how Kein behaves, her passions, and her interpersonal skills (or lack thereof). Instead of reading through a numbered list of questions and answers, I can just read the blurb or highlighted sections in the personality section and be reminded of her overall personality instead of how she acts in one rigid sense.

I think that's why I like the personality tests the most— they give you a more generalized sense of your character instead of how they act in a linear or flat scenario. How do they walk, for instance, is one of the questions, but that really hinges on a lot, right? What's the scenario?

Is Kein coming home from a successful scavenging mission, standing tall and proud, but letting someone else take the spotlight of success? (Introvert vs Extrovert). Or is she folding into herself, thinking about all the things she could have done differently, while she’s being scolded? (Thinking vs Feeling).

How a character, walks, talks, laughs, and generally holds themselves really depends on... you guessed it! Their personalities! Which is why I really like the personality test route.

One extra bit, OneNote lets you do 3 tiers of folders, so I can have Kein>Physical Features and then one more set of subpages under Physical Features. I find this useful for character development that happens over the course of your writing. For example, my MCs fight a pack of wolves at one point (this first book of mine is very Man v Nature). They all walk away with injuries. Under my Physical Features page, I have a subpage for Developments. I either just have notes there, or a table set up by chapter. It'll say, Ch# in the left column, and then it'll have a set of bullet points for things that changed in that chapter.

Ch# - Kein attacked by a wolf - sustained a bite to shoulder and claw slash across her stomach. (A note: for wounds, I'll sometimes add pics, but as long as you can visualize it, it's whatevs).

It goes for other aspects of character development too though! If a romance is blossoming, I'll add notes chapter by chapter using the table system I noted above. If an injury causes someone to move/walk differently I make a note of it. Especially for injuries that I need to remember like, ok, she has fractured ribs. She ain't climbing that cliff side— they're going to have to find a different way or they're going to have to figure out how to get her up it.

Side note for the injury and time keeping — I made an entire post about how I do this, so check that out if you’re interested.

A small bit on visual inspiration

When coming up with a visual of my characters, I turn to Pinterest. Pinterest is the bee's knees for visual character inspiration. If you have a general idea of what you want your character to look like, just search "character inspiration" and then adding any descriptors. Sometimes I don't find what I'm looking for, so instead I'll search "model" and then the descriptors. My MC has red hair and freckles. I searched "character inspiration red hair female" and "model freckles female" and tons of pics popped up.

I created a board named "Character Inspo_NAME" on Pinterest for each main character. A nice spring board for visualizing my characters. It ranges from boots and ripped jeans, to faces of models/people, hairstyles and accessories.

I mass pin things and then I comb through and look for stuff that really resonates with a character— a few pics of models, some outfits, particular accessories or items, shoes, clothes, hair styles!! With those few, more narrowed down pics, I place them into my Visual Inspiration folder in OneNote. I can reference it if I need to remember what someone is wearing or what a particular item someone has looks like. Or just in general if I need a bit of a boost, it helps to write a character's description if I'm looking at the character inspiration.

I’m certainly not, like, the best person to go to for visual inspo stuff. There are so many other people out there who do these amazing aesthetic and mood boards and all kinds’a stuff like that and it’s so so so amazing. So, don’t take my word for it in this area, because I’m certainly not the authority here. I’m just givin yinz an idea of how I do things.

I hope this helps! Maybe I should have added memes or something.

Anyways, that’s all folks. Good luck! Feel free to ask me any questions if you have them! Also, I'd love to hear comments on my process, or how anyone else does their character development!

i also feel like this entire post is a mess so thanks for reading if you made it to the end. also let me know if any links don’t work or anything like that.

#writeblr #writing tips #character development #writing #writing advice #writing tools #writing community #characters #original characters #ocs #writers helping writers #character inspo #character inspiration #novel writing #nanowrimo #i did this instead of writing

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hawkeyedflame · 5 years

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Okay ngl the politics of playing Black Desert sound kinda fun tbh. The idea of guilds, going to war with said guilds, and stuff like that sounds hella dramatic and I'm here for it lmao

honestly it’s super fun and dramatic. guilds have reputations. sometimes even individual players have reputations so bad that people hunt them and declare war on any guild they join. there are alliances, backstabs, long term or permanent feuds, etc.

there was some drama a few months ago where this extremely toxic guild master who was being actively hunted by a ton of guilds kept changing their family/character names and changing his own guild’s name (all of which costs irl money bc they want to discourage people from being shitstains then changing their name to hide from their reputation lmao). there was an entire discord server created with literally all of the siege guilds and strongest pvp guilds that were keeping their eyes peeled trying to track this man down and make sure he was hunted wherever he went and that he couldn’t hide by changing his name. i don’t actually know what ended up happening with that, if people got bored of it or if they got the guy to quit or what. but people don’t forgive and forget in this game lmao. your actions and behaviors towards others will follow you and i think that’s fucking great. you represent your guild as well, and how you act will reflect back on your entire guild whether you want it to or not.

i think it’s all pretty neat.

#bdo #black desert online #Anonymous

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tcmpcral · 5 years

Text

full name. basil

pronunciation. technically BAY-zil but my dumb disney-loving brain defaults to BA-zil lmao nicknames. dumbass, dumb as ass (these are, of course, all lovingly given to him by his brothers) titles. basil the kicker, ‘our kicking basil’ courtesy of roh height. 5′11-6″

age. 23ish

zodiac. leo languages. whatever language they speak on his planet plus a few others

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour. red, white eye colour. black with yellow sclera skin tone. body type. very athletic and toned, but a little bit wiry tbh accent. like majora below, he’d technically have one to an earthling’s ear, but they wouldn’t be able to place it dominant hand. left posture. confident. has a definite swagger to his gait, and he sometimes tends to lean on one hip when he stands. other times, he simply has a very open, fearless stance scars. what scars he has are covered by fur tattoos. none most noticeable features. the fact he aint got no clothes on >:u possibly his doe eyes, which gives him a markedly more ‘innocent’-looking expression compared with his brothers

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth. currently unnamed planet in U9 hometown. an overpopulated city where it was easy for him and his brothers to ‘disappear’ quite often from under ‘human services’ noses birth weight / height. he has no idea manner of birth. just. the usual, i guess :v first words. it was probably something like ‘bermo’ which was his babyish way of saying ‘bergamo’ lmao siblings. lavender, older brother, bergamo, oldest brother parents. his father died at some point before he was born, so he has no memories of him. his mother either died or was separated from the three around the time basil was one to two years old (which means i need to edit A Thing i wrote recently rip), so his memories of her are fuzzy and nondescript parental involvement. he was loved by his mother and treated overtly affectionately by her from the time he was born-- however, his time with her was short. from her disappearance on, he was raised by his older brothers, who did their best of course, but likely fell short in various ways

ADULT LIFE

occupation. ??? whatever it is, it’s not fully legal current residence. a small apartment with his brothers. thanks to a certain god’s influence, it’s a little more luxurious on the inside than one might expect based on its outward appearance close friends. uhhh. his brothers. minca, at one point. and probably again eventually. otherwise, he has various. uh. basically casual drinking buddies, so i’m not sure he’d consider them close relationship status. single financial status. it’s okay. paycheck to paycheck, but. again, thanks to a certain god, he and his brothers are able to live rather comfortably driver’s license. unfortunately, yes criminal record. Yes vices. impulsive, short-tempered, has a tendency to be irreverent without entirely meaning to (not that he’s not Trying to be, just that he’s not thinking about it), lacks common sense a lot

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. he personally identifies as heterosexual but tbh it’s bc he’s only had one girlfriend and hasn’t really thought about his sexuality in great depth. i could honestly see him being bisexual romantic orientation. ??? preferred emotional role. submissive | dominant | switch | unsure preferred sexual role. submissive | dominant | switch | sex repulsed libido. h-hahaa er. High turn ons. i don’t. know yet tbh turn offs. anything too Out There love language. how do i. explain it. it’s not affectionate exactly, but it would be very obvious to his partner that he likes them, bc there’d be signs like his face lighting up whenever he spotted them in a room, or the fact that he invites them to go with him everywhere, that he’d rather spend time with them than with his drinking buddies, etc. he doesn’t actually do a lot of PDA, i think, bc i tend to see him as being a little more immature than that tbh, but there’d definitely be signs of affection and. adoration there relationship tendencies. basil, at this point in his life, just wants someone he can have fun with. he doesn’t want commitment, he doesn’t want to think about the future (unless it involves daydreaming about visiting cool places)-- all he cares about is the now, and how he can have fun in the now. as such, he’s drawn toward those with like values and desires, and would be turned off by someone who seemed intent on ‘changing him into a better man’ or something similar

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. here we go again, renegades hobbies to pass the time. sparring/fighting, drinking, parties, tagging along with his brothers, causing mischief mental illnesses. avoidant behaviors but lbr mostly none physical illnesses. none left or right brained. right-brained fears. failure, disappointing his brothers, losing his brothers, embarrassing himself in a way he can’t Come Back From self-confidence level. ehh, tbh, it’s mostly high. he probably gets down on himself at times when he thinks he’s done something exceedingly stupid, but for the most part, he thinks pretty highly of himself vulnerabilities. don’t. don’t pull his tail, that hurts. his loyalty to his brothers, the secret feelings he keeps to himself about his childhood if anyone ever figured them out tbh, his fears that he really is kind of dumb

full name. majora pronunciation. MAH-zheruh nicknames. nurse baobei (an old one from shosa that majora absolutely hates to be called in public these days. not that he. loved it to begin with) titles. has an officer’s rank of some kind? does that count height. 5′8ish

age. Advanced (TM) no sorry i just haven’t decided how he ages compared to humans yet :v

zodiac. capricorn n/a languages. whatever language his planet/region uses, as well as a few neighboring ones

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour. olive green, white eye colour. ???? skin tone. body type. slender, slim, but toned. certain joints like his wrists and ankles are very thin and frail-looking, however accent. he’d have one to an earthling’s ear, but it’d be hard to place dominant hand. right posture. generally straight, tho sometimes a little slouchy just bc he’s tired. while he was a military nurse, he wasn’t required to complete any kind of military training, so he doesn’t have the perhaps expected ‘soldier posture’ scars. what scars he does have are easily hidden by fur. has a scar on his upper abdomen leftover from a splenectomy tattoos. none most noticeable features. his ears are huuuuge

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth. some planet in U4 lmao hometown. a currently unnamed city on the coast. presently lives in a mountainous region in the northern part of the country/planet he lives on birth weight / height. ~6 pounds, ~19 inches manner of birth. something akin to twilight sleep first words. it was ‘pig’ bc he witnessed one of his older sisters calling another child the term as an insult siblings. four other siblings (two older sisters, one younger sister, one younger brother is the baby. he is the third oldest of five, right smack dab in the middle). his eldest sister is deceased. he is mostly estranged from the others and only sees them occasionally throughout the year parents. Mother: jima Father: rougu, i haven’t quite decided what it was that they did just yet but whatever it was left them rather well-off financially, enough so that they were able to allow their children to pursue whatever interests and hobbies they desired (assuming they were proper, of course). their beliefs were steeped in traditions and conventional wisdom, and these are what majora grew up with and probably still to some degree practices to this day parental involvement. somewhat negligent once he hit a certain age and was capable of helping with younger siblings and household chores, etc. his parents never were particularly affectionate with him, tho they encouraged certain interests of his (...martial arts, mostly) while discouraging others they felt tarnished his (read: their) reputation. this was especially true as he grew into his preteen and teen years and began showing behaviors they didn’t like

ADULT LIFE

occupation. retired; former nurse current residence. lives in a communal apartment setup. he lives at the end of the hall, is able to claim he has the largest room of the floor, and also has a nice little balcony attached to his room as well that he shares with the newly-married couple who live in the room next to him (who i’ve named chuan and cori). he’s quite fond of his living arrangement, despite what he may occasionally say otherwise close friends. ..........shosa. that’s it. that’s literally it relationship status. single financial status. he survives on retiree and disability benefits........ but altogether, it’s not bad driver’s license. doesn’t need one. both. bc the city he lives in is compact enough to be able to walk everywhere and bc. Blind lmao criminal record. lots of curfew and truancy violations as a teen fjfiea;g vices. proud, aloof, withdrawn, set in his ways, stubborn, self-sabotaging

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation. generally identifies as homosexual romantic orientation. homoromantic probably preferred emotional role. submissive | dominant | switch | unsure preferred sexual role. submissive | dominant | switch | sex repulsed libido. middles toward low, even when coupled, but he’s not repulsed by any means turn ons. ....like basil i’m. not entirely sure yet turn offs. treating him like a doll?? does that make sense, listen he might like to dress up but don’t treat him like a mannequin. and don’t take advantage of the fact that he can’t see what he’s putting on, that should be obvious. Anything without his permission, ignoring his discomfort if it comes up, not letting him know what you’re doing before you do it gdi love language. kinda stiff and awkward in the beginning, but he softens up soon enough. he never does get to be the type who is outwardly affectionate and forthcoming about his feelings, and particularly in public, will seem very distant and cool to his partner, but he is definitely the sort to enjoy being around a partner and seek their company quite often, whether it’s to accompany them about the town or simply to relax at home

relationship tendencies. truthfully, romance just isn’t on his mind much these days, but he’s always gravitated toward those that he could spend time with and not necessarily worry all the time. he’s not like basil and wants only to live in the present, but he does need something or someone to ground him in the present, or he thinks himself into a nervous frenzy about the future, particularly nowadays at his age and at his level of dependence on others. he worries occasionally that he’s too much of a burden, and that his efforts to decrease his status as a burden only exacerbate it

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song. cleopatra hobbies to pass the time. fishing, listening to music/the radio, playing music occasionally (usually when he’s been left in charge of kids and they’re being little hellions rip), going to see plays and operas (even if he can’t appreciate the sets or costumes anymore, he can still enjoy the stories and acting, he supposes) mental illnesses. none tbh physical illnesses. some kind of anemia (think pernicious anemia), which results in fatigue and body aches, compromised immune system left or right brained. left-brained mostly fears. death, losing another sense, various small fears related to his blindness and his resulting vulnerability, being helpless/a burden, convalescent homes self-confidence level. relatively high to moderate while he keeps his independence. when he makes mistakes or otherwise flubs up bc of his blindness, it tends to crash a little vulnerabilities. his fear of both dying and debility/helplessness, frequent refusal to accept help, obviously he. uh. can’t see, tho his other senses help him out to some degree there,

#bas;; dash games #maj;; dash games #THIS TOOK ME SO LONG GOD PLS JUST TAKE IT FROM ME

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janiedean · 6 years

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I've seen some people say that after Theon gets captured and tortured by Ramsay he starts to "romanticize" his relationship with Robb so he can cling to something good, even though Robb was never that affectionate or understanding with Theon. Thoughts?

.... is this a new development I missed when I was away?

anyway, tldr: 100% complete bullshit.

long answer: I don’t have the hassle to look for quotes so please let me quote myself from a meta I wrote in the dawn of times when s2 was airing which was about how you can see in the text that robb REALLY loved theon forreal, I’ll just quote you the relevant parts but if you wanna read the entire thing the link’s there:

Point in case the first: regardless of what some people who don’t pay attention to this plot line think, Theon *did* actually care about Robb a whole damn lot and the fact that he sided with his dad was more of personal betrayal of *Robb* rather than the whole betraying the Starks thing - which doesn’t make any sense whatsoever since he owed them as a family exactly zilch. Point the second: Robb *did* actually care about Theon equally. Point the third, and that’s what I would actually like to talk about since it’s a side I rarely see discussed: while we all see/get Theon’s side of things aka ‘Robb was the only person who ever cared about him for real during his entire stay at Winterfell and arguably the only one who ever cared about him openly except his mother until that point pretty much’, there’s also Robb’s side of things, which is where I want to blather about under the read more: everyone - seriously, *everyone* - got on his case about it. Meaning: Robb is the exception to the whole 'don’t get attached to him in case his dad fucks up’ deal, but if you look at it from his POV, he really must have liked Theon a lot, because it’s not just that he’s the only one, it’s that if you pay attention everyone frowns upon it or thinks he’s being a complete idiot to actually trust Theon for real. And it’s arguably something that must have happened for the entire time Theon was at Winterfell.

Never mind that this is what Theon had to say about his general treatment (and the *gentling* I suppose):

Lord Eddard had tried to play the father from time to time, but to Theon he had always remained the man who’d brought blood and fire to Pyke and taken him from his home. As a boy, he had lived in fear of Stark’s stern face and great dark sword. His wife was, if anything, even more distant and suspicious.

and

As if ten years in Winterfell could make a Stark. Lord Eddard had raised him among his own children, but Theon had never been one of them. The whole castle, from Lady Stark to the lowliest kitchen scullion, knew he was hostage to his father’s good behavior, and treated him accordingly. Even the bastard Jon Snow had been accorded more honor than he had.

What a party. Except that he always says that Robb is like a brother, that he had affection for him, that as far as he cares he can rule the Riverlands while he rules Winterfell (… okay Theon okay *facepalms*) until he actually thinks he should have died with him. Never mind that Robb actually knew how shit worked in the Iron Islands so it means they actually talked about it and so on. Thing is: Robb kept on with it for ten years and never faltered once in thinking his judgment was sound until he thought that Theon had killed his brothers (which didn’t happen anyway) when everyone and their relatives gave him shit for it. If Maester Luwin told Bran *that* thing above, he probably has told Robb as well, and most probably he had been discouraged from it more than once, and he still kept on not caring.

^^^ now THAT above is from acok, not adwd. if theon’s thinking he has a CERTAIN AFFECTION for robb in acok, then he’s not romanticizing shit. anyway, going ahead, I was analyzing the woods scene which EVERYONE likes to quote as the reason why robb doesn’t REALLY like theon, I’m skipping on the first half but the point I wanted to make was:

Bran openly dislikes Theon and doesn’t get why Robb likes to hang out with him, when discussing serious matters he tells Robb as straight as it gets without actually putting it in blunt terms that he’s an idiot for wanting to listen to Theon and call the banners, when Theon says that there’s a chance Ned could die he gets screamed at even if Theon’s nineteen and Bran is eight, and tbh he hadn’t even been saying it mockingly - now, I get that if you’re eight you’re going to react like that, but the guy also didn’t tell you anything that Robb hadn’t been trying to say was a chance earlier - and when Theon tries to make his point (albeit not too nicely but that’s him for you) Bran is like ‘well my parents listened to the person you don’t care for so you’re obviously wrong’ and Robb has to actually *insist* and justify himself because he takes everyone’s opinion - Theon’s included - into account. Now, if Jon had been there instead of Theon and he had said to call the banners, would that have gotten that reaction and most of all, would Robb have had to freaking justify himself to his eight year old brother for listening to someone older than him for that matter? I kinda doubt it. But like, if you have to justify yourself to, repeating again, your *eight-year old brother* when you’re a) his eldest, b) his lord, c) in charge as far as everyone is concerned, how much do you think he’s done that already? Robb also seems pretty tired overall, and who’d blame him - that’s not even the first or last time in the books he justifies himself for liking Theon.

(Theon’s take about it to his dad:

“ He heeds me, yes. I ’ve hunted with him, trained with him, shared meat and mead with him, warred at his side. I have earned his trust. He looks on me as an older brother, he -”

speaks for itself I think.)

Anyway, five pages later some wildlings kidnap Bran and they threaten to kill him if anyone moves, and the situation is solved when Theon fires an arrow at the one holding him thus enabling everyone to take action and also saving Bran’s life. And what happens? Robb lashes out at him because if anything got wrong in there Bran could have died. My very humble opinion is that he took it out on Theon because he was worked up already and he felt like he had to show to everyone that he actually didn’t forget that Theon was supposed to not be his bff, but that’s where things go pear-shaped. Theon’s opinion of that drama:

[Dagmer] gave me more smiles than my father and Eddard Stark together. Even Robb… he ought to have won a smile the day he’d saved Bran from that wildling, but instead he’d gotten a scolding, as if he were some cook who’d burned the stew.

Like. Theon is legitimately fucking hurt about that and he *still* is hung-up about it A WHOLE FUCKING LOT after it happened. It’s probably been at least some months in between then and him thinking *that*, and he’s still hurt about it - talk about the depth of psychological damage going on here if *that* was something he couldn’t bring himself to forget, but let’s go on. Theon didn’t expect it from *him*. Like, even Robb, as if Robb was the only person he didn’t want that treatment from.

Except, let’s go a moment to that lovely exchange Robb and Cat have in ACOK when she tells him he shouldn’t send Theon to the Iron Islands:

“Theon’s fought bravely for us. I told you how he saved Bran from those wildlings in the wolfswood. If the Lannisters won’t make peace, I’ll have need of Lord Greyjoy’s longships.” “You’ll have them sooner if you keep his son as hostage.” “He’s been a hostage half his life.” “For good reason,” Catelyn said. “Balon Greyjoy is not a man to be trusted. He wore a crown himself, remember, if only for a season. He may aspire to wear one again.” Robb stood. “I will not grudge him that. If I’m King in the North, let him be King of the Iron Islands, if that’s his desire. I’ll give him a crown gladly, so long as he helps us bring down the Lannisters.” “Robb-” “I’m sending Theon. Good day, Mother. Grey Wind, come.” Robb walked off briskly, the direwolf padding beside him.

Now, I’m 100% sure that Robb never *told* Theon that because otherwise Theon wouldn’t have been thinking Robb just scolded him for that, which - seriously Robb WHY WOULDN’T YOU *facepalms again* -, but let’s just look at it for a minute. Robb tells Cat that Theon is trustworthy because he saved Bran’s life, so he *does* know that he was unfair to him, and he does consider it the way Theon hoped he would have. Never mind that he’s also the only one who points out that maybe the guy is tired of being a hostage and that he gets how bad it i s. Never mind also that this conversation is all kind of heartbreakingly ironic because Robb is right about Theon wanting the best for the both of them and Cat is right about it being a bad idea because it backfires, but at the same time Cat was 100% wrong about Balon giving them a fleet if he kept Theon hostage (he didn’t give a shit) and Robb was wrong about sending *Theon* there because of course it’d have ended up badly if Balon didn’t accept the plan. But anyway, if you look at it, Robb, who does love his mother *and* keeps her counsel in high regard *and* wouldn’t disrespect her ever, pretty much cuts Cat short as if he’s just fucking entirely done with this conversation and doesn’t want to hear about that anymore. Why? Most probably because he’s just the umpteenth time when he trusts Theon to do something and someone else (anyone) tells him it’s a bad idea without a) knowing Theon, b) knowing the reasons why Robb trusts him, c) even entertaining for a moment the notion that Robb might be right. Never mind that this entire deal is 100% more tragic because Theon ends up betraying Robb and takes the whole Bran incident into account when it was actually one of the reasons why Robb was so sure he was trustworthy on top of having known him for ten years.

And regardless of all the above, he does send Theon after all even if he probably was the only one thinking it was a good idea. This idiot liked Theon so much that not only he was so close with him that he was more of a brother to him than any son born of Balon’s loins, but he also was so in spite of the fact that he probably spent most of his life (actually he’s known Theon for ten years and he was five when they met so do the maths, it’s 2/3rds of someone’s life) being told that he shouldn’t. Even from his own actual brothers/mother for that matter. Like good fucking grief Theon thinks he got it all wrong and he should have died with him because that’s how much Robb mattered, and about that, I highly doubt that Theon was the one making friends first considering what he has to say about everyone else in WF. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that Robb never let his judgment waver until the WF mess (and even after then he didn’t want Theon to be tortured) even if he was discouraged from keeping Theon in high regard constantly, as if he should have no reason to do it just because everyone else judged him on the basis of his family name first? I feel like this is a thing that gets overlooked a lot, and while obviously Robb never had the same issues as Theon and surely he had an easier life I just think it’s really important to their relationship that he kept on getting shit for it and he still never really cared. And it also speaks volumes that when Theon has actually, y'know, found himself again in ADWD it kind of happens when he realizes he should have been with Robb, he doesn’t say something like 'I wish we could have talked it out’ or 'I wish I hadn’t taken WF’ or anything of the kind. He thinks that he should have died at the fucking Red Wedding aka died of the worst death you could come up with because that was where he was supposed to be. But no, let’s assume that he betrayed him just because he thought he could and it was no big deal or that Robb had it easy when he was like a brother to him instead - uhm, NOPE.

what I’m fishing at here is that saying theon romanticizes robb’s rship with him is highly in contrast with anything the text suggests on that point because actually robb’s relationship with him is the one constant he has that ties him to his previous life (he says robb’s name more than his own in his first three adwd chapters but X°DDD) and guess what it never happens with asha or his mom or anyone else. he puts two and two together about what he has done wrong and where he should have been THINKING ABOUT ROBB, and guess what realizing that he should have been with him is what unblocks him and pushes him to do better and save jeyne. and again, wanting to die at the red wedding is not romanticizing anything because no one with half a brain would want to die at the red wedding since it’s not... a quick or painless of short death. like, it’s DYING IN A MASSACRE NO ONE WANTS THAT XDDD also if you read bran’s povs he complains about all the time robb spends with theon every other moment and jon does go like ‘meh why does robb even like him’ and so on, and catelyn is like ROBB YOUR FRIENDSHIP CHOICES ARE TERRIBLE and nvm ned. like. also:

"So long as Theon Greyjoy sits in your father's seat with your brothers' blood on his hands, these other foes must wait," Catelyn told her son. "Your first duty is to defend your own people, win back Winterfell, and hang Theon in a crow's cage to die slowly. Or else put off that crown for good, Robb, for men will know that you are no true king at all." From the way Robb looked at her, she could tell that it had been a long while since anyone had dared speak to him so bluntly. "When they told me Winterfell had fallen, I wanted to go north at once," he said, with a hint of defensiveness. "I wanted to free Bran and Rickon, but I thought . . . I never dreamed that Theon could harm them, truly. If I had . . .""It is too late for ifs, and too late for rescues," Catelyn said. "All that remains is vengeance."

"I cannot speak to that. There is much confusion in any war. Many false reports. All I can tell you is that my nephews claim it was this bastard son of Bolton's who saved the women of Winterfell, and the little ones. They are safe at the Dreadfort now, all those who remain.""Theon," Robb said suddenly. "What happened to Theon Greyjoy? Was he slain?"Lame Lothar spread his hands. "That I cannot say, Your Grace. Walder and Walder made no mention of his fate. Perhaps Lord Bolton might know, if he has had word from this son of his."

This is a cold man, Catelyn realized, not for the first time."Did Ramsay mention Theon Greyjoy?" Robb demanded. "Was he slain as well, or did he flee?"Roose Bolton removed a ragged strip of leather from the pouch at his belt. "My son sent this with his letter."

Part of Catelyn wanted to clutch the grisly trophy to her heart, but she made herself resist. "Put it away. Please.""Flaying Theon will not bring my brothers back," Robb said. "I want his head, not his skin.""He is Balon Greyjoy's only living son," Lord Bolton said softly, as if they had forgotten, "and now rightful King of the Iron Islands. A captive king has great value as a hostage."

I mean. guys. IT’S TEXTUAL. if your bff conquers your castle and you don’t immediately go take it back because YOU WOULDN’T DREAM HE’D HARM YOUR SIBLINGS (and you’re actually right but nvm) then you really did trust that person or do trust them still. so: there’s no single shred of text that robb actually didn’t care about theon or didn’t love him actually all the contrary, thanks for coming to my ted talk XD

#throbb #theon greyjoy #robb stark #janie writes meta #what is this fresh fuckery now #Anonymous #ask post

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diaryofanangryasianguy · 6 years

Note

But the thing with poc solidarity is that it’s never really been about solidarity as a group it’s about how other poc’s use one group’s advancements as a way to to demand more for themselves without doing the work. It’s inherently selfish. Plus the whole thing of ‘well were both poc’s so it should be ok’ is so prevalent within the community. You see non-black poc’s using the n-word. Non-asian poc’s fetishizing asian looks/clothing. And non-Native poc’s wearing headdresses. The list goes on.

I agree with everything you said lol

The more you go into each group, you’ll eventually see racism, fetishization, appropriation, and whatnot from each group onto another but one big thing that we don’t like to mention is that there is A LOT of in-group fighting as well. Whether it be calling out cishet men in the community, homophobia, colorism, fetishization, diaspora vs homeland, poor vs rich, English vs non-English speakers, one ethnic group vs another, and it goes on.

Obviously I can’t speak for other racial groups but I’m sure they all fight amongst themselves too in their own spaces.

For Asian people, we fight a lot with each other. And because there’s so many of us with different ethnic or national pride, there are even subgroups within each group that fight each other too. For example, not all Southeast Asians get along. It’s the same thing for East Asians, South Asians, West Asians, and other Asians too. So we fight each other as a racial group, then we fight each other as “regional” groups, then we fight each other as ethnic or national groups, and then we fight each other as cultural groups. In-group fighting goes down every level for Asian people.

And in my opinion, this is one of the reasons why it’s extremely difficult (almost impossible) to have solidarity with each racial group. Asian people have not found a way to create or build a unifying pan-Asian identity and tbh it’s impossible to do that. So Asian people with no unifying identity are then expected to unify with other groups? That’s literally “putting the cart before the horse” lol. That kind of thinking forces people to do something they can’t actually do.

This isn’t to discourage solidarity or say that solidarity doesn’t exist because it does. There are definitely a lot of Asian people that base their entire activism on solidarity but they have to understand that by putting our carts before our horses means that there’s a good chance we’ll get nowhere. And if you extend this to other racial groups as well, then you’ll understand why we’ve all moved so little because we keep putting our carts before our horses.

It’s not about giving passes for bigoted behaviors, creating group exclusions, denying individuals to be among others or learn about others—nothing like that. Every group should actually address those issues. But it’s about each group being able to establish solidarity WITHIN. So you gather in your cart, find ways to build with each other, and then you put your horse ahead of your cart so it pulls you forward. But if you put your cart ahead of your horse, then it’ll be behind you and you probably won’t move or you might even move backwards. Just saying.

Angry Asian Guy

#anon #ask #long reads #tw sensitive material

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letholojimin · 6 years

Text

Seekers (KTH) | 1

SEEKERS SERIES - PART 1

Gryffindor and Slytherin have been rivals for a long time, but you and Kim Taehyung bring the word rivalry to a whole different level.

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Theme: hogwarts au

Genre: tbh idk but let’s go with fluff and very light angst?

Word Count: 2,704

Summary: You make a bet with your best friend Lisa saying that Slytherin is too easy to beat at quidditch and when Taehyung finds out about it, he isn’t pleased.

GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM | SLYTHERIN QUIDDITCH TEAM HUFFLEPUFF QUIDDITCH TEAM | RAVENCLAW QUIDDITCH TEAM

PART TWO | MASTERLIST

“Y/N!”

You’re snapped out of your thoughts by a rather high, distinct voice calling out your name. Your attention is centered on a blonde girl pushing through the crowd of people to get to you, struggling to close the distance. You stand in place, waiting for the girl because after all, there are still a few more minutes to spare before the bell rings for your next class. Lisa finally catches up, placing her hand on your shoulder and you resume walking in the direction you were heading to originally before you’d been interrupted by your friend. “I have a spectacular proposition for you,”

With that, you raise an eyebrow and she continues eagerly. “Hoseok was telling me all about how Slytherin was so full of themselves this year especially since Taehyung got taller, fitter, leaner, quick-“

“Cut to the chase, Lisa.” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that she was about to switch to Slytherin because of their seeker or that she was discouraging you.

“They’re so sure they’re going to win against us in the first game of the season because of how much he’d changed physically and since you’re Gryffindor’s seeker, who better to tell about this than you- the only one who can knock that Slytherin boy down?” She blurts out, a large smile evident on her lips as she holds you and waits for you to react. Really? That was what that entire thing was about? At this point, she’d practically forced you to stop walking and you were just on the brink of annoyance with how irrelevant the topic was. At this rate, you were going to be late and this was going to be the reason why.

“You’re unbelievable.” Those are the only two words you mutter as you push her hands off of you. It’s not that you didn’t care- of course you did, you were against him- it’s just that you were gonna be late and both of you should focus on the more urgent things. You start moving again and this time, there’s a hint of hastiness in the way your feet pad against the tiled floor of the hallway. Your best friend, however, refuses to give up and she continues to pester you with the guy who ‘glow’d up’ aka Taehyung. “If you win the game on Friday, I’ll get you whatever you want at Hogsmeade this weekend.”

Her statement makes you finally think for a moment and you reconsider that it’s a done deal since you were the school’s best seeker and you knew that nobody could defeat you. “Even from Honeydukes?” Your mouth waters thinking about the sweets present in the shop in the village.

“Mhm,” She nods, knowing she’s finally getting you to consider the topic no matter how not-urgent you thought it was.

“I’m gonna win anyway you know,” You muse, and Lisa knows she has won. “Beating Slytherin is too easy, especially with Taehyung as their seeker.” You’ve beat him a lot of times before, so beating him another time is nothing.

With those words, the bell rings and you run like hell to your next class. You don’t deny, however, the smirk that has made its way on your lips. Looks like you’re finally getting that big bag of candy you’ve been eyeing for quite some time now.

“Hoseok, guess what!” Lisa whisper-yells as she takes her seat beside the orange-haired boy in her Charms class. “Jesus,” He mutters, dropping his wand to the table in surprise. “You not only made me wait for you but now you’re also distracting me from this damn spell which I can’t seem to get right!”

“Relax…” She drags on, placing her hand on the boy’s thigh. It automatically has the desired effect as his muscles stop tensing under her touch. “We can always ask Seokjin for help later on, he’s the ace for a reason.”

Hoseok nods, seeing her point. “Anyway, what were you saying before you made me drop my baby?” He picks up his wand and runs his hand over the delicate wood. “I’m offended, I thought I was your baby?” Lisa removes her hand from her boyfriend’s thigh and places it under her chin, facing forward to pretend to listen to the teacher.

“Just kidding, love.” He places his hand in her free one and weaves his fingers in the spaces between hers. “You were saying?”

The blonde snaps her head back and delight is seen in her expression. “You know, I told Y/N about those Slytherin students you overheard the other day and how they were bragging about Tae and I simply found a way to guarantee our win.” She snickers as she tells him more and Hoseok is quickly hooked on the story knowing that there’s nothing that can stop you once you’re motivated by reward.

“That’s genius, Lisa!” He accidentally exclaims a little too loudly and the entire class looks at them. The orange-haired boy smiles sheepishly as Lisa hides behind her hands.

“What’s so genius about whatever Lisa said, Jung Hoseok?” The professor slowly approaches their joined table and they both know they’re screwed. Hoseok stutters, trying to reply to the question. “Nothing…” Everything.

There’s a vexed expression on Mr. Flitwick’s face as he stays in front of their wooden desks. “I thought so…”

Both of them think that they’re saved from their misery but the short man turns around once again to face the silent girl. “As for you, Lisa, don’t think I didn’t see you come in late today. If you continue this kind of poor behavior, I’ll barre you from seeing the first game.”

At his words, Lisa’s eyes grow wide and Hoseok snickers until his professor tells him that if he refuses to stop, he’ll be getting the same exact punishment. He shuts up, but he thinks about all the bets he’ll be winning against the green house. Thank god you’re so damn easy to bribe.

Hoseok spots Jungkook, his favorite fifth year and the younger boy notices that he’s more excited than usual. “Jungkookie!” Hoseok yells from the top of the staircase. A lot of people are pushing downwards so Jungkook waits for him downstairs.

When Hobi steps foot on the flat ground once again, he ushers Jungkook to walk alongside him to the dining hall to which the underclassman follows with no questions asked. Hoseok explains the entire plan to the brown-haired boy and watches his face light up.

Though they have only become friends last year due to a similar punishment (Jungkook never dared to try spells that he didn’t master without an adult wizard supervisor after that time), they had quickly become good friends. He was the youngest of your Gryffindor group and you all took him in right away.

“Hyung, that’s great!” The maknae is beaming at his friend who only offers him a knowing smile. “My girlfriend is amazing after all.” Pride is laced in his voice, confident in Lisa’s wondrous abilities to convince others. Sometimes, it isn’t always beneficial to him but he loves the girl nevertheless.

“Kookie, make sure to tell me if you know anyone from Slytherin who’s going to bet, alright? I need my extra money- I want to buy her this rather expensive yet exquisite quill from Scrivenshaft’s.” Hobi waves the boy goodbye after they finally arrive at the entrance of the large hall.

Jungkook may be Hoseok’s favorite fifth year, but Jimin is Jungkook’s favorite sixth year. He just so happens to be from Slytherin.

Jungkook and Jimin have been childhood best friends ever since they were three years old, having been neighbors in a port city in South Korea. They even went to muggle preschool together up until they were both sent to Hogwarts by their wizard parents to learn about the true nature of their families. But Jimin went to the school a year earlier and in that year, Jungkook was the loneliest he’d ever been at the young age of 10. Jimin always wrote to him though and he’d always write back so it wasn’t that bad.

Contrary to what one would think was usual, the Jeons were from Gryffindor and the Parks were from Slytherin so their houses didn’t come as much of a surprise to their parents. In the end, they had stayed family friends and their sons were also really close regardless of the difference in houses.

Jungkook told Jimin about what Hoseok had told him and Jimin merely laughed it off, dismissing the thought saying Taehyung was a ‘bloody beast’ this year and so he never pressed on it. In the end, if Jimin didn’t believe in you, he couldn’t do anything about that except make them all wait for you to make the field your stage once again to prove them all wrong.

“You’ll be surprised- she did say that beating Slytherin would be too easy especially since Taehyung’s still your seeker.” Those are Jungkook’s last words regarding the topic to which Jimin replies with a nonchalant: “Just don’t get hurt on Friday, alright? It’s your first game as a keeper, so I’ll see you on the field.”

And surprised will Park Jimin be.

Your brown boots step on the freshly mowed grass, the scent quickly rubbing off on you. It’s a sunny day and you’re just about ready to shut off all of those Slytherin house losers off their Kim Taehyung syndrome in exchange for those Honeydukes sweets- sure, you’re so damn shallow but who can blame you? You were so confident because you’ve never lost to anyone- not since you became the seeker of the red and yellow back in third year.

Taehyung has less experience than you, having only been able to join the team at fourteen years old during his fourth year at Hogwarts. You two were the longest seekers on their respective teams: Vernon joined the Hufflepuff team last year on his fifth year and Ravenclaw had Daniel who only became part of the team this year as a replacement from the graduating seeker from their house in the previous year.

Few eighth years choose to be part of the quidditch teams simply because of the extensive training and conditioning all of you athletes go through for the house cup tournament. It simply wouldn’t work well with their already hectic schedule of trying to figure out what they’re going to do to survive in the muggle world for the rest of their lives. Luckily for you, you still had two years before that would even enter your concerns.

You barely notice the loud cheers that erupt when you enter the view of your schoolmates but you’re definitely snapped out of your kill plan when the devil himself walks out into the open field from the opposite side of the arena. The front of the stands are a mess of green and silver, scarlet and gold and since this is just about the second most important game of the season since Slytherin and Gryffindor are going against each other on the opening game, you can see hints of yellow and black and blue and bronze.

“Might as well get this shit over with,” You mutter, swinging a leg over your broom and instantly zoom around the large expanse of the field. Soon enough, you’re called back down and you all gather around, Sehun giving the final instructions for the game’s strategy. When he finishes, you do your huddle and take your positions.

“Hello there, Y/N.” A deep voice greets beside you and from the green robe and the brown hair, you automatically know it’s Taehyung. You only spare him a second’s glance but you’re made aware that the rumors were all true- he really had gotten more built and though you’d hate to admit it, he’d become more handsome. No wonder all those girls in your Astronomy class were too busy talking about him rather than focusing on the lesson.

You reply with a mere “Hello,” before the snitch is released and the whistle is blown. Your concentration is shifted back towards the golden ball running wild across the field and quickly speed over to it, eager to get the game done and over with. Taehyung is just as attentive as you though and you’re flying side by side.

The chase continues for a few minutes before the snitch decides to descend downwards, both of you plummeting down to the grass. It’s a dangerous move and both of you know it but since the two of you are well-trained, it’s almost like second nature to fall down that hastily.

You’ve never been one to play roughly but this time you’re forced to, considering Tae was flying too close-by and at this rate you’d never be able to speed up. Because of this, you slam your forearm into his shoulder, trying to tip him downwards but he foresees it and he quickly moves away, giving you the space you were growing desperate for.

There’s a bludger that passes through your side and you’re almost knocked off your feet. The boy’s laughter rings in your ear but he fails to notice the incoming group of your teammates racing towards the brown ball and their momentum makes him lose a slight bit of his concentration, forcing him to tumble down on the field below.

“Fuck!” You barely hear him curse out before you lean forward once more, the snitch within arms reach. You’re straining, sweat sticking to your skin as your house chants the traditional “Fight, fight, Gryffindor!” and you know you’re at a major advantage. Slytherin is watching intently as their seeker scurries to get back on his broom but by then, it’s too late.

A booming voice surrounds the area as your gloved hands wrap around the familiar object, causing your housemates to yell in joy. “Y/N Y/L/N catches the golden snitch! Gryffindor scores a hundred-and-fifty points- Gryffindor wins!”

You make an entire round across the arena, holding up the snitch as Gryffindor students cheer louder. Slytherin is distraught- you hear some of them curse profanities at both you and Taehyung but you’re too happy to actually care. When you finish covering the circumference of the arena, you fly down to meet your teammates who eagerly wait for you while clapping their hands.

“You’re a legend, Y/N.” Hoseok is the first one to speak to you as all of them approach you, forcing you into a group hug. Sehun pats you on the back and congratulates the rest of the team for a job well done. Your teammates high five you and Jungkook envelopes you in a large hug. “I fucking won my first quidditch game! My mother is going to be so thrilled when she hears about this!” You smile at him, knowing exactly how he feels.

On the other side of the field, Kim Taehyung is taking off his gloves and stepping down from his broom. He runs towards the stands, not daring to face Junmyeon knowing he’d let the entire team down. He just had to get distracted, didn’t he? Considering that goddamn angelic face of yours, you sure are a little devil when it comes to seeking.

He’s muttering profanities when the Slytherin team enters the locker area. After a quick talk with Jimin who was a chaser in his team, the boy sits down on a bench and shrugs the events off saying he’ll beat you in the finals.

“It’s alright, yeah, but Jesus Tae- such a shame that we lost considering the bet.” The silver-haired boy leans against the lockers, taking off his shin guards. “What bet?”

What bet was he talking about and why did he not know about it? “Oh you know, the one Y/N made with Lisa. She said beating Slytherin would be too easy especially with you as the seeker.”

“She fucking said that?” Taehyung was trying to keep calm, the revelation triggering his repressed anger. He could not believe you had said that, yeah, but he could not believe that you were right. “Oh shit. Forget I told you anything.”

“I don’t think I can."

IM SO HAPPY THIS IS OUT IM LEGIT SO HAPPY IM SO HYPED FOR THIS HOGWARTS AU AND ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS IS MY FIRST WORK FOR TAEHYUNG I HOPE YOU ENJOY!! unedited sorry

Quidditch Teams: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw

Send me your thoughts about Seekers! I’d love to hear about what you think <3

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astro-b-o-y-d · 6 years

Text

bloodworx replied to your post: If being in the CC fandom has taught me anything,...

What are some of the distinct characteristics of art styles have you picked up on? I’m curious.

Again, I don’t like to make assumptions, because not every artist who does this supports adult/child ships and I’ll be the first to admit that (please don’t assume every artist who does this ships those kinds of things, I don’t want to discourage anyone who does to just change their entire art style). And tbh, there are a lot of differences in the styles I’ve seen.

But a few things I’ve noticed from the artists who are shippers that raise red flags for me upon first glance:

Anything involving Max being ‘devilish’ or ‘purified’ kinda raise the warning signs for me. Whether it’s kid Max or teen Max, that whole ‘bad boy’ attitude (while kind of fair and accurate to his character) is usually reserved for characters that artists are either crushing on or want to sexualize. Not necessarily the ‘purified’ thing (though with how much the fandom loves Daniel, it...doesn’t help) but purified Max kinda makes me uncomfortable for different, unknown reasons, so seeing him drawn like that (ESPECIALLY if Daniel is in the picture) kinda makes me go “Something feels wrong here”.

Aged up Max drawn super skinny and, again, with that sort-of bad boy behavior that people (especially teens) really like to sexualize in characters. I realize not every artist who draws Max like that is in fact a camper/counselor shipper (I draw my teen Max fairly skinny as well, but it’s more from depression and him just being a skinny kid) but it’s more how he’s portrayed. Let’s just say if I can see Daniel with the grin they often give Max or Daniel doing the poses they put him in, it unnerves me to the point where I become suspicious. But even then, that’s not enough to figure out the person is a shipper.

Anime Max. I know it’s terrible to say, but when I see Max drawn in a super cutesy anime style and they 1) Draw his hair super straight 2) Make him look even younger than he usually is and/or 3) Make his skin so pale he could give Daniel a run for his money, I start getting more suspicious. They’re not only whitewashing him, they’re trying to make him look cutesy and innocent (which is....gross because pale skin and straight hair should not be the default for that) and with that style? Cutesy and innocent is.........often not as it seems. Especially if he ends up looking MUCH younger than his friends.

Throwing David into any of the above scenarios. Now I realize that’s unfair to assume something’s up just because David and Max are together in a picture (LOOK, I KNOW it’s unfair. I hate that I’ve picked up on these things BECAUSE I don’t want to assume the worst in artists. But unfortunately, I have and I've been right to assume more often than not). But if it’s a picture with any of the bullet points above, then I get.....REALLY suspicious and I go check the artist’s blog before I interact with any of their art. If I don’t see anything that confirms or denies my suspicions, then I wait. I draft their art, and I wait to see if any bad news comes up regarding their stance on pedophilic ships. If it turns out they don’t support any of that, I’m happily relieved and I’m more than willing to reblog and support their art! But...it’s sadly been bad news more often than good news so I’ve grown suspicious and cautious about the art I reblog.

Once again, none of this necessarily makes an artist a supporter of those ships by default. But unfortunately, they’re traits a lot of shipper artists or supporters of shippers have picked up (not all of them, but a lot). And it’s.....really unfortunate, because there are wonderful artists out there with similar styles who DON’T support those ships, but they’re thrown under the bus and underappreciated while shippers get the attention and praise for their art style when they sure as hell don’t deserve it.

#bloodworx #//Long Post #//Pedophilia Mention #//Discourse #//Negative #Camp Camp

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krayena · 6 years

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6/?

There’s one very specific moment that is a constant source of anxiety for me, which I remembered again just now--and I don’t even think it’s necessarily just that one thing, but rather the fact that it represents everything I am afraid of at once.

A couple of years ago, I want to say maybe three at most--more? Actually, I think it was in high school. Definitely high school. Summer after 11th grade. We were at Universal Studios (in Orlando) with my aunt and cousin. (We meaning my mom, brother, and myself.)

It was towards the end of the night, we were passing a gift shop. My brother had already gotten something, I can’t remember what--it was mildly expensive? My mom only had so much money on her, i.e. what my dad had given her to spend for (that day? week? month? unclear.)

(Aside: the way money circulates in my family is because of my mom’s, er, situation, and the fact that she’s stay at home/does volunteer work (well, now she has a kind of job, but it’s part time and doesn’t pay very well. But I digress.) means my dad is the only source of income. When she goes out, he gives her money. Or he gives her what is more or less an “allowance” that isn’t a set number or anything, for some period of time. She generally manages to spend it all, and my dad has always called her out on it.

I also complain about how much random money she spend. But here’s the thing: okay, actually, this point is relevant to what I am eventually rounding about to, so I’ll just discuss it later. This is all the necessary context for now.)

So since it’s the last day of our trip and the last gift shop, I’m browsing. Normally--and I guess I’m biased--I’m pretty good about being financially reasonable. And to that point, I think, I had been. (I’m referring to my life experiences in general, not specific to just the park.)

I saw this chibi spider man plush. Mini sized. Just like the one from the Spiderman Loves Mary Jane comic run. And it is cute. It is sitting in my ‘bookshelf’ as I type this. I looked a the price tag. Circled the store several times. Almost walked away. And then asked my mom about it. (I wasn’t carrying any money on me.)

She made a face and she disapprovingly tried to discourage me out of it. And the thing is, there was no real reason--aside from the fact that I’d seen it in the comic and had wanted my own for a while--to get it. I insisted. She conceded. (The exchange wasn’t loud or anything, just tense? Stressful?)

She put down what I think was her last twenty on the cashier’s table. We got $2 back.

And that moment--that moment still haunts me to this day. It’s been over four years now. But she had the most pained look. Which I recognized back then but did not process.

It’s the same look of conflicted-ness she has about most things. Her methods certainly require work, but even in spite of what I would classify as selfishness, she has wanted the ‘best’ for the rest of us. I’m not going to get into impact vs intent, because that’s a different conversation entirely.

She masks her pain with confusion. She resorts confusion as an acceptable social standard for a middle aged immigrant woman, who grew up in poverty and without the privilege of the education most of her peers have.

Sure, there are a lot of things that I think she needs to work on--fuck, I’m crying, because I’m sad this time, but also angry--but the pain exists nonetheless. I’m still trying to figure out what I think my parents “owed” me as a kid, and reconciling that with the fact that they, too, are just people.

And the thing with my mom--we never really had much of a proper relationship, the way I see it. I guess other people might call it “toxic” or “weak” or even just “distant,” but for me, I just...I can’t really explain it.

Of course I’m angry with her for so many different things, both in the past and now, but I’m still afraid for her. I still know that she has been hurting and is hurting.

And the money? My dad and her have not once had a productive conversation about her spending habits. She insists on being able to spend like we rake in cash because of her own past and growing up with more or less nothing, because why should her children have to ‘squat?’ Rather than dealing with this, my dad is just passive aggressive about it (to be honest, they both are), and while this is another thing that makes me physically angry, it makes me even sadder.

They have been partners for 25 years (and a month now, actually).

My mom has tried. She really has. My dad isn’t even close to the Typical Indian Dad when it comes to conservatism, but he couldn’t read an emotion if it was in bold face print across someone’s forehead.

I didn’t notice it until the later years, but my mom was constantly looking for things for my dad for holidays, anniversaries, ceremonies. My dad? Not so much. Occasionally I’d pester him about it, but he wouldn’t do much. He didn’t even get her flowers for their 25th until she “joked” about it. She’s tired.

She’s sad. She’s hurt. It was an arranged marriage, of course, and she really tried to stick out a limb to the extent that she could.

I’m also kind of shitty to her about these things. (Oh, and her struggles with English. Let’s not even get into how horrible our entire family was about that for so long, and TBH still kind of are.)

I’ve gotten better since I noticed my behavior, but progress is slow.

Anyway, so that spider man toy--for her to be semi angry at first and then give in--that was her way of fighting both sides. And it breaks my heart that this must be what happens, constantly.

Never mind my feelings about my family’s ‘financial security,’ which I’m never really sure about. That’s also something to unbox later. (Yikes)

My boyfriend said something the other day about the fact that they don’t (they = my parents) ‘deserve it.’ It meaning my affection, caring, success, etc, etc, etc. Because I do struggle with this, and a lot of shit.

But the thing is...it’s never been about deserve. All this time I’ve been trying to justify that, when it has never been about that. That’s not how I function. As hurt as I am, as angry as I am, as furious I am, as determined as I am to be independent, I can’t just drop it all. It’s not even something I would qualify as love. Part of it is my hyper empathy.

And I can’t believe I’m quoting the wonder woman movie, but it’s like she says--

“It’s not about deserve. It’s about what you believe.”

Obviously that courtesy does not extend to, say, nazis, but I can’t separate my trauma from the fact that my parents are obviously very much in their own cycles of pain.

I want them to get better as much as i want myself to. I want them to not hurt anymore, and partly because that would mean I wouldn’t hurt anymore.

I’m tired. My head aches. My back aches. I’m still behind on my school work. I finished crying, though, so there’s that.

There’s just too much. It’s all too much.

#s: family #s: depression #s: long post #s: feelings #s: hyper empathy

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