#no hard feelings to my mom at all i wouldn’t choose any other life
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being in a parental position with young children while also balancing school and other responsibilities is kinda crazy as a teenager. like yesterday i did a full day of school and came home to take care of children and put them to bed but i have a project i had to work on and i have college work due at the end of the week but it doesn’t matter because i have tiny humans to turn into kind people. and im typing up my writing with one hand while a five year old clings to my arm to sleep. idk i wish there was mother’s day support for sisters who act as mamas
if u were raised by ur older sister, give her a big hug. it’s a hard job.
#coparenting#moms of tumblr#mom life#love my single mom#our combined power of coparenting wins everyday#no hard feelings to my mom at all i wouldn’t choose any other life#mom things#mothers day#single mom life#teen parent#ish 😭
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Mine
Luke Castellan x Reader
Requested by: @officiallenalove like imagine the reader is like a daughter of Poseidon and we know he’s not around most of the time and she meets Luke and they like fall in love but she’s never known what healthy love looks like so it’s low key angsty but happy at the same time yk?
Summary: "You are the best thing that's ever been mine"
Warning: crappy parents, angst, self doubt
Word Count: 2k
Masterlist
A/N Sorry this took so long I had a hard time choosing which lyrics/moments I wanted to write
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
Godly parents were always deadbeats. It was just a fact of half-blood life. But after spending years thinking I had no father, I was thrilled to have been claimed by Poseidon. It was naïve of me to think that just because he claimed me he’d be a good father just because I knew of his existence. I spent night after night praying to him, looking for some sense of guidance from him but never receiving anything. Eventually I learned not to bother with him or anyone else.
My mom had let me down enough times that I knew it wasn’t just gods that let you down. When she finally told me about my father she told me I’d be moving to a strange place. Not for my safety but because she didn’t want to take care of the daughter of the god that broke her heart. She complained endlessly on the drive over that my father never even bothered to offer her immortality, rather last she heard of him he was falling in love with another woman on Long Island.
She was dead to me after she dumped me at camp with hardly a goodbye. And then my father was dead to me when I begged for his help but received nothing.
~
I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' / Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts
Most of the other campers felt the same about their godly parents but it seemed like the only one who really understood was Luke.
“I mean, it’s like we’re nothing to them,” Luke ranted to me. We rant to each other a lot. “We’re just byproducts of their mistakes.”
“Gods, I hate men,” I groaned, lying back in the grass of the green. “Are all fathers this shitty?” I asked, looking up at Luke. I squinted into the sun as I peered at him accusingly. He moved his hand to block the sun from my eyes.
“I wouldn’t know from personal experience but I wouldn’t be this shitty,” he smiled cheekily down at me. He moved to lay back too, resting on his elbow. “I’d never abandon you.”
I could feel my chest tighten and I hoped it wasn’t apparent on my face. I just laughed, gently pushing his chest in a playful manner, hoping I was sparing him any embarrassment by making him think I thought he was joking. “You wish. You’d probably leave once the first diaper change comes.” I couldn’t even begin to consider loving him—or anyone—enough to feel abandoned by him. Thanks to my parents I felt more than enough abandonment.
He gave me a forced laugh as I sat up. “Yeah probably. I’d just be the fun dad.”
~
Do you remember, we were sittin' there by the water? / You put your arm around me for the first time
Later that day I found myself sitting on the beach of the Long Island Sound. The ocean was always sort of a sore spot for me because it was just a reminder of my father but it still felt calming. Like I belonged despite my father’s indifference.
As I stared out into the sound, zoning out, I let my mind wander to the conversation I had with Luke. That wasn’t the first time he had tried to hint at his feelings and he was a great guy but I couldn’t trust him. I didn’t have faith that he—or anyone for that matter—wouldn’t just let me down. How could I trust I wouldn’t let him down.
I was interrupted from my thoughts by the man himself. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked, coming to stand next to me. I just wordlessly gestured for him to sit next to me. He complied, taking a few breaths before looking at me. “I’m just gonna come right out and day it: I like you,” he rushed. “You don’t have to like me back or anything but I need to know that you know.”
I stared at him, my mouth agape. I hadn’t expected his boldness. “Um…” I had to take a second to structure my thoughts. “Luke, you’re a great guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you but you don’t want me.”
“Actually, I do I just said it,” he chuckled, trying to release some tension.
I laughed with him. “No, I mean I don’t think I can give you what you want. I’m not the best with feelings and I’m not entirely convinced that you, and everyone else in my life, won’t just leave me when it’s convenient.”
“Hey,” Luke chided gently, throwing an arm over my shoulder to bring me closer, ��I meant what I said I'm not gonna abandon you. And if you’re scared, that’s fine, we can take this slow. If you really just don’t want a relationship that’s fine. I’ll still be by your side no matter what.”
Tears pricked my eyes at how thoughtful and caring he was being. Fortunately he couldn’t see them because my head was resting on his shoulder. “Okay,” I agreed, “I want to try taking things slow with you.” His grip on me tightened as he held me a little closer, like he was so excited you just have to squeeze something.
~
Braced myself for the goodbye / 'Cause that's all I've ever known
Things were great for a few months. Every time I began to doubt our relationship, Luke was there to help me. Giving me constant assurances and telling me how much he loved me. So much so that I started to feel like a burden to him. Like I was just a task he had to get through every week.
“Hey,” Luke announced his presence as he entered my cabin, “I haven’t seen you all day, what’s up?” he asked, looking around the cabin.
“J-just a second!” I called from a storage closet. I quickly wiped my tears and steeled myself, willing myself to look normal. Realizing he’d be wondering why I was in the closet, I grabbed a random blanket from one of the shelves. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the closet with a smile. “Hey.”
His face immediately dropped. “What’s wrong?”
Curse my puffy eyes. “Nothing,” I answered. He approached me but I just slid past him, dropping the blanket onto my bunk. “Why?”
“Your eyes are all red. What’s wrong?” he asked again. Once again trying to touch me but I just backed away.
“Must be dust or something in the closet,” I tried to dismiss.
His face hardened. “C’mon, Y/N I know something’s wrong. I don’t want you to hide things from me. I want to take care of you.”
At his words the dam broke and all the thoughts and feelings I had been dealing with bubbled over. “I don't want you to have to take care of me!” A look of hurt appeared on his face and my heart ached for him. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I do. I just don’t think it’s fair to you to have to comfort me whenever anything little happens. It’s pathetic,” I spat at myself.
“Hey, no, you’re not pathetic,” Luke assured me.
“You’re not listening to me,” I insisted. “How can you possibly want to be with me when I do nothing but drain you?” I stared at him, waiting for him to realize that I was a leech and leave for his own sake. But instead, he just looked endeared.
“Y/N, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. I don’t want you to ever think that you’re a burden to me. I love you and I love that I'm the one who brings you comfort. So please, just let me love you.”
My resolve broke and I went to him, letting Luke pull me into his chest. “What did I do to deserve you?” I cried into the warmth of his chest.
“I ask myself the same,” he returned, pressing a kiss to my head.
Masterlist
#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians x reader#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#pjo x reader#pjo tv show#pjo series#the lighting thief#luke castellan#luke castellan x reader#x reader#Spotify
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jax headcanons!! involving kinger, queener, and ragatha!!
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so i’m hooked on the idea that jax joined the circus as a child, so i decided to be silly and come up with my own headcanons for it
jax arrived in the digital circus very young, maybe.. 6 or 7. he, of course, was confused and panicked, but queener immediately helped to calm him down. and as time went on, kinger, queener and jax ended up becoming a little family in the circus.
they would read to him before bed, help him eat, run around with him, everything loving parents do!
but, as he got older, maybe around.. 13, he wanted to leave. he wanted to leave the circus and find kinger and queener in real life, since his own life was awful. him entering the circus was a way to escape.
unfortunately, the two had to explain to him that there’s no exit, and he’s stuck there. but that they were with him! and that they’ll take care of him.
he had a breakdown that day, and it lasted a few days. and queener felt absolutely distraught that her son, her prince, was going through this. so what did she do?
she looked for an exit.
from when jax was 13, to when he was 18, queener kept looking for an exit. at first, kinger helped, hoping that she’d give up after a while. but she didn’t. during this time, ragatha joined (dont take this to heart ill change it up when we get timelines of when everyone joined), and her and jax grew close, having a sort of unspoken older sister, younger brother relationship.
but eventually, queener drove herself insane to the point of abstracting.
everyone; jax, kinger, ragatha, gangle, kaufmo, zooble, and a few others (who later disappear before pomni appears), witnessed it.
and jax? oh, the poor boy. he was broken. caine ended up coming around as gangle went to grab him, and he opened up the cellar. he picked her up to put her in, but jax didn’t want that.
he reached out, grabbing ahold of her, being lifted off the ground. kinger panicked, reaching to grab jax’s feet. with the help of ragatha, they pulled him down. kinger held onto jax tightly as he reached out to abstracted queener. caine sealed her away, before turning his attention to jax, who just cried out for his mom.
he just sat there, his condition.. not the best. due to the contact, he started the pre-abstraction phase, his entire body quickly being consumed by the glitch.
caine reacted quickly, this being the first time he’s had to save someone before they abstracted. due to this, some of his coding wasn’t back to normal. he can break the filter, but chooses not to unless need be. it also explains all his keys. he didn’t just find them laying around. (i’ll add a few more things when i think of them.)
the rest of the day, everyone was quiet. kinger locked himself in his room, wanting to be alone. jax did the same, but often just hid around, hoping not to be found.
and that night, jax stood in front of his mirror, just staring at his reflection. he almost didn’t recognize himself.
he was crying.
he hadn’t cried in years, much less any serious tears. queener and kinger were always there for him, to help him calm down.
but this time? he was alone.
he couldn’t understand why his fur was wet, why he couldn’t stop crying. it wouldn’t stop. the tears wouldn’t stop.
so he went to the only person he felt comfortable with.
knocking on her door, ragatha answered, looking up. “jax..?” she asked, a look of shock on her face.
jax stood there, a hand feeling his face as he stared down at her, utterly confused. “my.. my face is wet. it won’t stop.”
“why won’t it stop?”
and ragatha just pulled him in to a hug, and jax didn’t realize he was audibly crying until ragatha rubbed his back, and cooed, “it’s okay. just let it all out. you’re okay, i’m here.”
he spent the night in her room, and they talked.
“why does it hurt so much? it- it's like.. there's a pit in my body, it's so hard to breathe?"
"because it's a loss, jax."
"but i lose a bunch of things-- i don't know why this hurts so bad."
"because it's her."
"what?"
"you're hurting, because you lost her. your mind knows she isn't coming back, but your heart- doesn't. you watched her be put into the cellar, she's gone, jax. and it's hurting because you know she isn't going to come back."
"..but.. she's still alive.."
"..i know."
"..why does it hurt so much..? she's not-- dead, i don't-"
"it's just the way things work, hun. it's.. it's going to be hard, but you'll get through it. we're all right here with you, it'll be okay."
i’ll summarize the rest.
jax ends up hating how he feels, he hates crying, he hates being so sad. so he starts to cope differently. he makes jokes, he becomes more sarcastic, more cold and uncaring for the well being of others. his grief turns him into who he is when we see him during the pilot.
writingn this while sick killed my eyes cuz im not wearing my glasses LOL anyway judt had to thrownhis out there when im unsick ill draw more ok bye guys 🎉
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#the amazing digital circus jax#tadc jax#tadc kinger#tadc queener#tadc fanart#tadc caine#tadc zooble#tadc ragatha#tadc gangle#the amazing digital circus fanart#tadc headcanon#helluvart
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I am Team Jeremiah, but that doesn’t mean I hate Conrad. However, I find it very hard to feel any sympathy for him: an essay.
I truly hope Conrad finds happiness. I just don’t think he and Belly are right for each other. And no, I haven’t read the books (you can read my feelings on that argument in another post I’ve done lol), so I’m just going off the show.
I am Team Jeremiah, I make no secret of it. But that’s because he is just the better choice for Belly. Not because he is better than Conrad, full stop. They both have their flaws. Should Jeremiah have made out with his brothers ex girlfriend like that, without at least talking to him first? Hell no. But come on - the guy tried to resist. He tried so hard. Belly kept pushing. And let’s remember what Conrad said to Belly at the start of the season after they kissed - ‘Do you want to be with him?’ ‘Being with you is all I’ve ever wanted.’ ‘Okay so be with me then.’
Belly choosing Conrad over Jeremiah was all that mattered back then, not how it affected anyone else, even though she was quasi-dating his brother for most of the summer. He didn’t give a fuck about Jeremiah and if it wasn’t for Belly saying no, he would have flaunted her immediately, even knowing she had kissed Jere a few times. When he asked Jeremiah for his blessing, I don’t believe he did that for any other reason than Belly would continue to distance herself from him until she believed Jere was over it. Conrad did not go to Jeremiah to make sure he truly was okay. He was ticking a box for Belly. Jeremiah was quite obviously not okay with it but Conrad chose to ignore that because he wanted Belly. We saw that in what he told Belly about it afterwards. He took the parts of the conversation that suited his narrative and the outcome he wanted, and he ran with it. And it worked. Jeremiah got hurt, and Conrad didn’t care, because he had Belly.
Their relationship wasn’t this epic love story. I still don’t understand where it came from. I understand Belly’s crush. But when and how and why did Conrad start loving her? The writers of the show seemed to just say ‘he just does’ and we are supposed to say ‘okay yeah sound makes sense.’ I just don’t understand the timeline. Besides that though… Look, I understand and empathise with the fact that his mom was dying while they were dating, and that he was struggling with his mental health. It was a lot for an 18 year old to deal with. (Of course, Jeremiah was dealing with it, too, but Conrad stans conveniently forget that). But Belly suffered in that relationship because of it, and no one should have to do that. To me, it seemed like she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for him to pull away. Scared. Maybe Conrad wasn’t going to break up with her at prom, and she jumped the gun, but it says a lot about how she was feeling that she immediately assumed that. A relationship shouldn’t be like that.
Jeremiah, though… from day one he was open and honest with her. He asked her straight up if she could ever love him like she did Conrad and she said YES. Belly said herself - Jeremiah is always there when she needs him. That’s what you need in a life partner. And fuck me, the passion they have. A perfect blend of supportive and passionate. Tie that man DOWN. He is supportive, he defends her, he speaks his mind, he is honest and reliable (the only time we saw him ‘let her down’ in any way was when he missed the dance at the Deb Ball and jeez, he had a damn good reason so no one can blame him). He makes her laugh. They can have fun together, but can also have the serious conversations. I married my best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s honestly amazing to know you have that person who truly sees you, loves and supports you. Who is your comfort. Jeremiah is that for Belly. Honestly, I could go on and on about how Jeremiah is the perfect match for her - and the chemistry between Gavin and Lola definitely adds to it, but it isn’t the only factor - but everyone has probably given up reading by now…
Both boys have been dealt a shit hand, losing their mother. Both boys have made mistakes and have flaws. But they both have incredibly good qualities, too. Personally, I just think that Jeremiah is more suited to Belly, and they will have a happy, healthy relationship.
Also, the way she kissed him back in that episode… I’m sorry but there’s no way she’s not jumping his bones when they start officially dating. It wouldn’t make sense to me. She was smiling against his mouth and knotting her fingers in his hair, and it was ‘Wattpad level hot’, as Taylor would say. Considering she’s already done the deed, I can’t see any logical way for the writers to incorporate a ‘no intimacy’ storyline for them. Especially after that scene in particular, but also their first kiss in the pool back in season one, and the booby fondling in the car - WHERE BELLY STRAIGHT UP SAID SHE WAS NOT NERVOUS BECAUSE IT WAS JEREMIAH. Sorry, but let’s be real - there’s not a chance in hell those two are not banging the brains out of each other. And good on them. So I hope that is a change made to the books. Furthermore, show-Jeremiah cheating? I cannot see it happening. I really really hope it doesn’t.
IF Bonrad must be endgame, then please, Jenny Han, I beg of you to right your wrongs and not assassinate Jeremiah’s character to reach that ending. There are better ways to do it. But I maintain that the better choice for Belly is Jeremiah. And Conrad should meet someone new who is more emotionally mature and able to deal with his very obvious mental health problems. Someone he feels he can open up to about them. Because, as a sufferer myself, you need that support. Belly doesn’t provide that for Conrad and, as a result, Conrad doesn’t give Belly what she needs either.
One last parting thought - what the fuck happened to Jeremiah and Steven’s friendship? Jeremiah told Steven how much he cared for Belly in season one. Why did literally no one listen to him? And how did no one see it in the way his entire personality seemed to shift in season two. He’s lost his sparkle. YES most of that is because of his mom, but is everyone really that blind to him? No one notices that poor guy. He’s completely overshadowed by Conrad in every aspect. Everyone just expects Jeremiah to roll over and let everyone else have their happy ending while he gets trampled on because he’ll ‘just get over it’. Come on. WRITERS - DO BETTER. There is too much phenomenal acting talent in this show to let bad writing and tropes ruin it.
In conclusion, I haven’t written this much on one topic since I did my degree and I am obsessed with this show. Goodbye.
#belly conklin#jeremiah fisher#the summer i turned pretty#tsitp#belly x jeremiah#tsitp conrad#conrad fisher#team jeremiah#j
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I would like to request A gender neutral reader being a half titan (Greek myth titans) half mortal whose father is Oceanus (Because it only makes sense) and the ror universe greek gods being surprised about the fact that the reader is human looking and human sized despite their their father being a titan. Greek Gods Only please. (I.e. Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hermes And Ares and/or Heracles)
It would be fun to see their reactions.
And Crossover is Heavily Implied But No Crossover here, Please.
How They knew and met is entirely up to your choosing.
-When it was revealed that there was a child of a Titan still out there in the world, the gods, naturally, panicked!!!
-Zeus was immediately giving out orders for this Titan child to be found, worrying about another uprising, wanting this to be dealt with immediately!
-They were not expecting their target to be brought in by Aphrodite, walking alongside her, about the same height, and looked basically like a normal human, except you had blue hair that was dark in some spots and lighter in others, like the ocean.
-You weren’t really sure why you were being called by the gods, as you’ve spent most of your life lounging on a beautiful tropical island you had converted into a massive luxury resort.
-Zeus looked up at you, his eyes wide, “This is the child of Oceanus?!” you grinned warmly down at him, “Hi there! That’s right, he’s my dad! I’m Y/N!”
-You were totally not what they were expecting, even Aphrodite, who had found you on accident, was stunned that you looked so… unlike your Titan father.
-Hades then spoke to you, his tone even but not unkind, “If you’re Oceanus’ child, why are you normal sized like the rest of us?”
-You shrugged your shoulders, “Not completely sure myself- oh wait- I know why! It’s because I’m only a demi-god, mom was a human!”
-That wouldn’t completely explain things, but they weren’t going to bother with it at the moment.
-Poseidon was rather leery of you, worried you were going to try to take over the oceans to avenge your father.
-You were immediately laughing, holding your sides as he scowled, looking rather annoyed before you gave him a grin, “Why would I want to do that when I have my resort to keep me busy?”
-This…did make sense, and Zeus was the first to apologize to you but you weren’t bothered, actually extending an offer to them to visit your resort!
-Zeus- He was instantly like your best friend, he was so funny and enjoyed as many activities he could at the resort, from partaking at the different restaurants and bars, learning to dance, you taught him how to surf yourself, at least the simple stuff. You were definitely nothing like the other titans he faced in the past, you were so much fun! He quickly joined your rewards program and was at the resort at least once a month.
-Poseidon- Watched you the closest while at your resort, which was very beautiful and you took cleanliness very seriously, not allowing any pollution from your resort to taint the beaches or oceans, and you were a constant diver in the ocean around your island, making sure there was nothing bad to disturb the reef or the wildlife. He relaxed after a few days, enjoying hard liquor as he floated in the lazy river pool that wrapped around your whole island.
-Hades- Was annoyed that he spent most of his time at the resort asleep, sleeping in his bed, sleeping in a poolside cabana, sleeping on the warm sandy beaches. He felt like he didn’t get a chance to experience all your resort had to offer, but he did feel extremely relaxed. Hades booked his next vacation as they were getting ready to leave. You were no threat; he was quick to realize this.
-Hermes- The resort was so beautiful! Hermes spent days exploring, from the resort to the beaches, scuba diving with you to see the reefs, and even the jungle that had a footpath the whole way through. He had no idea this place was even here! It was so relaxing and peaceful, he could easily tell that you were nothing like other titans, you were way too chill. He did however, enjoying watching you teach Ares how to scuba dive while he sat on the beach with a massive fruity-boozy beverage.
-Ares- Was hesitant and rather distrustful of you, thinking you were an evil titan like all the others. You were very quick to prove him wrong, given them all free reign of the resort, they could eat, drink, and have as much fun as they wanted! Ares, after a bit of goading from Hermes and Zeus, managed to convince him to go scuba diving, but only if you taught him. Ares found the experience different but eye-opening, although he didn’t like his father and half-brother teasing him afterwards.
-Hercules- You two were like you had been separated at birth, almost constantly together, getting along so easily with each other. He loved your resort, especially the options of food available from the six restaurants and nine bars, all with vastly different menus. He also enjoyed exploring through your jungle, seeing the signs you had put out, showing different landmarks. It felt so good to just be able to lay down, bury his feet in the warm sand, and relax the days away.
-Aphrodite- Was in heaven at your resort, taking full advantage of the spas, pools, and drinks offered; she spent her whole time there being pampered and treated like the goddess she was. You were definitely not a threat, despite your lineage, and she will not hesitate to defend her new favorite resort owner from others.
#record of ragnarok#ror x reader#ror poseidon#ror hades#ror heracles#ror aphrodite#ror zeus#ror ares#ror hermes
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I think I had wishful thinking with how this whole Jk thing would be handled. It’s showing me that a lot of ARMY still forget that our boys are human. I understand having strong feelings towards certain habits due to a multitude of reasons but seeing people question his character is wild to me. Yoongi talked in his documentary about this very thing. Things being blown out of proportion that genuinely in the scheme of things don’t need to be. Our boys have shown us they drink heavily, something that is also harmful but it seems that doesn’t get as much hate as smoking. They are grown men who will do and have habits that aren’t great but as of what we know don’t change who they are. Jk is still our goofy silly guy that we love. I’ll get personal for a second I’m also a singer and used to be a heavy smoker of 🌱, I stopped eventually because I knew long run it wouldn’t be great for my voice but so many singers do it. Now what he seems to be smoking is obviously not healthy but he chooses to do it cuz he likes it and wants to. Of course we want them to be healthy and take care of themselves but again they are grown. I really feel for K-pop idols because it seems there is no way to win. The idol system in a sense sets them up to “fail”. More people upset with him smoking then him being filmed without his permission. Western pop stars are out here doing some wild stuff and no one holds it against them. I feel for them really I do. Again I get that it can be hard for people if they have their own experience with smoking. I shouldn’t be as surprised as I am with the reaction I guess but after how he has been so open on his Weverse lives about being an adult and living his life the way he wants, who are we to say no you can’t do that because we don’t like it.
I agree!!!
Anything else I have to add? I really don't know, cause you kind of said it all @leearmy.
Do I love he's smoking? Hell no. Like I wouldn't love for one of my girls to. It's bad for your health. It's not great for his voice. I lost my mom to lung cancer so it's a little of a sore spot for me.
But at the end of the day, he's a grown up and it's his decision, his life to live.
So, not loving it, but no judging going on. These are my demons to deal with, nothing to do with JK or his choices.
I do have to say that I don't love the glorification of it either. JK is sexy. Period. No need for a cigarette in his mouth to make him that.
I just wish people would accept this is something he does and move on without the ugly or sexy talk going on.
Either way, this is still JK. Smoking or not smoking doesn't make him a good or bad person. It's a lifestyle choice he's making. Nothing illegal going on. Nothing hurtful to others. And as such it's in the "people need to mind their own business" category.
This is most definitley being blown out of proportion. As if we have any say about their private lives in any way shape or form (we most definitely don't).
Like you said, it's still JK, the sweet kind goofie young man that we love.
Plain and simple.
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friends date || nicholas x reader
note: just a little something i thought of to get me started ^_^ hope y’all like it and suggestions would be rlyy appreciated ! also should i continue this ? pt.2!!
you really never did understand why your friends would tease you two so often, "love birds," they'd say when they found you together. and it always upset you because you didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around you. your relationship was perfect, you'd never met someone more compatible with you and he was your best friend in the whole world... you wouldn't change that for anything.
you had known him since elementary school, he transferred to your school in the middle of grade 2. he was a quiet kid who always kept to himself, he’d never really tried that hard to make any friends either. but you had always noticed how he loved recess, he would beam at just the mention of it. yet when the time came he never ran around screaming like the other kids, instead he liked the old torn up tire swing sitting at the far end of the playground. he wouldn’t even swing on it just lay there and look up at the branches or stare up at his hands that traced things in the air. guess you could say you had always been a people watcher and something about him just caught your attention from the start. “hey what’s your name?” you said abruptly and he sat up on the swing, startled by your sudden appearance. “why are you always alone? and why are you always staring at the tree? what’s up there?” you continued, looking up into the tree as he listened to you go on. “i’m nicholas… and the tree is my friend,” he answered after a while. “the tree can’t be your friend… you should really make some people friends,” you said and he glared at you for a second when suddenly he had an idea. “fine then,” he said jumping off the swing and taking his place right beside you, still staring. “what are you doing?” you asked, backing away. “i’m making a friend,” he replied, a smug little look on his face. and ever since that day he’d follow you around everywhere, around the playground, the classroom, the library, the cafeteria. at first you hated it, and you’d whine to your teacher every day, “teacher, nicholas won’t leave me aloneeee,” you’d say. and she’d separate the two of you, only for him to be right by your side again during the next activity. after a while you got used to it, i mean he wasn’t all bad, he’d bring you snacks and show you interesting books. eventually he’d let you lay on the tire swing next to him and he’d tell you stories about all the people the tree had met. he had a vivid imagination and that was one of your favorite things about him.
the years went by and the two of you only got closer, you knew each other like the back of your own hand. as you became teens and all the other kids spoke about boyfriends and girlfriends, the two of you didn’t change at all. you didn’t feel the need for all that stuff plus you had each other and that was enough. but your friends could never quite let go of the fact that you were basically a couple, yet you couldn’t even fathom it. nicholas, your best friend, and you, a couple? no, no it would never work. all throughout high school you’d always let the teasing slide. by the time you graduated and made it into college, you couldn’t help but wonder what a relationship would be like, what falling in love was like. but no, that wouldn’t work because then you’d have to make time for two important people in your life: nicholas and your significant other. you simply wouldn’t be able to choose between them, still the thoughts of holding someone’s hand and having your first kiss always lingered in the back of your mind…
it wasn’t until your own mom pointed it out that you really noticed it. “mom,” you called out from the kitchen, “i’m leaving in a bit.” “aww, you going on another date?” she said as she walked in, making her way over to the sink. “what? mom, no, i’m just going to hang out with nicholas,” you replied, shaking your head while still looking down at your phone. “you know, it’s called a date when you ‘hang out’ with your boyfriend,” she said, as she dried her hands and turned around to face you. you looked up at her with a puzzled look on your face and she looked just as confused as you. “mom… nicholas isn’t my boyfriend…” you finally replied, and she was shocked. “what do you mean he’s not your boyfriend?!” she said, mouth agape. “he’s my best friend, mother, we’ve known each other since elementary school, how did you not know?!” you asked, just completely taken aback that your own mom would think that. “well i don’t know, you two sure do act like a couple… why not just make him your boyfriend already,” she stated, like if it was the most obvious thing to do. “mom!? i don’t-” you started but were interrupted by a knock at the door. “he’s here” you said grabbing your bag from the counter, “listen i don’t like him like that, so don’t mention a word of this again… like ever.” you opened the door and there he was, he tried to come in and talk to your mom but you were already pushing him out. “bye mom, see you later,” you said as you closed the door, not looking back to see the adoring look your mom had on her face.
#heart4gyu#&team#wang yixiang#nicholas#&team drabbles#&team nicholas#&team x reader#&team imagines#nicholas x reader#nicholas imagine#nicolas drabble#jpop#&audition#&team angst#&team x y/n#bts#enhypen#kpop#seventeen#le sserafim#tomorrow x tomorrow#txt#imagine#drabble#fanfic
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Thanks for tagging me @eulaliasims
1. What’s your favourite sims death? Never thought about having a favourite, maybe the cowplant? Or maybe when death results from something usually mundane like hail or lightning (I’ve had that one).
2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Mainly Maxis match, but I think of my style as like 90% MM and 10% semi-realistic (more on the BB side) because I do find the occasional thing that fits in with my style from that aesthetic. And I feel like my style is somewhere between the true Maxis match and the cartoony style.
3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? No? Seems odd!
4. Do you use move objects? Constantly, it’s on more than it’s off. I have an alias set up in my cheat file.
5. Favorite mod? Wow that’s a hard one to narrow down, so I’m gonna choose a few. Based on what has the biggest and most widespread effects, I’d say ACR, Community Lot time, and the whole Traits system (that’s cheating since it’s a million mods but I don’t care lol)
6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Would have been the very first pack, so University I guess! When the games came out I was living at home still and my mom played too, so we always got them relatively soon. Uni came out a month or so before my birthday so I suspect I probably got it as a gift that year.
7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVE as in LIVING, @eulaliasims is 1000% correct.
8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? So not counting born in game? Sort of a tie but I’ve always been very fond of Joshua and Roxanne Lewis, they were two of Brightmaple’s founders - the first ones I thought up, and first ones I created.
9. Have you made a simself? Yes, in my old neighbourhood, I was a vampire along with the Sim version of my cousin. We lived in a huge Victorian mansion I built where I sent all the vampires in the hood to live.
10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Brooding, couch potato, good, loves the heat, hopeless romantic
11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Don’t really have one I guess.
12. Favorite EA hair? Also don’t really have one lol.
13. Favorite life stage? Probably adult because the most happens, but I also really enjoy toddler which is a hot take in most circles.
14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? Both! The building is fun and a creative outlet for me, but I do it so I can create more immersive and enjoyable worlds to play in too.
15. Are you a CC creator? Yes but on and off, I do it purely for fun and primarily for things I want in my game. So I take long breaks of making nothing at all, when I’m not in the mood.
16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I wouldn’t really say so? I do chat with people from time to time and have lots of great acquaintances on here! I find it to be a generally very nice community. But I usually find online friendship difficult since I find it harder to read people purely through text with no baseline for knowing them irl, for things like tone of voice/mannerisms/body language and just general vibe.
17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) Well I think it’s pretty obvious TS2 has ruined all other games for me (not just other Sims games either).
18. Do you have any sims merch? nope
19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? Actually yes! For speed builds.
20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Gotten more Maxis match in terms of aesthetic, if you scroll back to like, pre-2017 on my blog you can see that for sure. For play style it’s a lot more structured - pure rotational so ages sync, more wants based, paying a lot more attention to their personalities etc.
21. What’s your Origin ID? I’ve been playing with either the RPC Launcher or a no-CD crack since the day I switched to the UC, so although I do have an Origin ID I’ve literally used it probably twice ever. So no idea!
22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? There’s too many to pick!
23. How long have you had a simblr? My very first Simblr post was July 31, 2016. Before that I had a bit of a hiatus from playing for a few years, and before that I was on Livejournal/Dreamwidth.
24. How do you edit your pictures? My photo editing program (PSP8) is literally from the era of TS2 itself, which seems appropriate. It’s always worked perfectly well for me - I downloaded Photoshop a couple times but always found doing the same actions clunky and unfamiliar, so I stick with what I know. I adjust curves, saturation, and add a very slight (probably imperceptible) bloom effect. Then I crop in, and I resize by width - meaning my pics are always the same width, but the height varies slightly. I prioritize getting everything into the frame that I want, and don’t really care if the heights are different.
25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? If I were making up hypothetical TS2 EP’s? I wouldn’t have minded something like Superstar from the Sims 1, having my Sims become famous (if it was done more like OFB/hands on style rather than “off to work in a carpool for the day” style) would have been pretty fun.
26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? That’s really tough to pick. Probably Seasons (such world building!), Freetime (the hobbies system adds so much depth for me!) or Open For Business (my whole hood has no EA careers and only businesses sooo...) or Pets?? I love my Sims having pets. They’re all so good!
I’m seeing this going around, so please allow me to tag @you if you haven’t been yet and wanna do this!
#ts2 gameplay#ts2 maxis match#ts2 tumblr#ts2#simblr#ts2 simblr#maxis match#thesims2#sims 2#the sims 2
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On its new year-end edition, Metal Hammer spoke to guitarist Synyster Gates about Avenged Sevenfold's eighth album, "Life Is But A Dream…" that combined hip hop, classic rock, EDM, thrash metal, classic soul and more, with some hailing it as a masterwork and others condemning it as career suicide.
It’s been six months since the release of Life is But a Dream… How do you feel about it now?
Synyster Gates: “I’m beyond proud of it. I don’t listen to it as much as I did, but I still listen to it a lot. I’m excited to get into some other songs to take on the road. It’s still fresh, we haven’t toured that much, we still have a few months off before we announce something…”
Did you have any fear before releasing the album?
Synyster Gates: “I say this knowing it’s not everybody’s cup of tea: you have to write what inspires you. I’m a big Beatles fan and a big Pantera fan. You want to touch people with eclectic taste in music. I have very eclectic tastes, and so I knew that if it touched me, it would touch other people. I knew we were on to something special. You know, The White Album by The Beatles is my favourite-ever album, and we tried to take our album to the next level… for us! I’m not saying this is comparable to The Beatles! Ha ha! We just wrote our greatest collection of songs.”
With an album like this, it’s probably too early to know how it’s going to be thought of in the long run, right?
Synyster Gates: “I think with an album like this, time is on its side. I’ve been using this analogy: both of my parents’ favourite band is The Beatles. My mom hates everything post-sgt. Pepper’s, my dad couldn’t care less about the early stuff. They both still respect the fuck out of it, but it’s not for them. So, for my mom, Sgt. Pepper’s was the death of The Beatles, and I think for a lot of people this is the death of Avenged Sevenfold. But for a lot of other people, it’s a birth. The birth of a different band.”
Have there been any comments you felt were way off the mark?
Synyster Gates: “Funnily enough, I thought it could go either way. We’ve actually had really amazing support from the press, so I don’t want to make people think that we feel like we aren’t supported by the press at all. I actually feel it’s good that it just hasn’t been ignored. Even the bad reviews, people have talked about it. People are still interested in us, so that’s all I could ask for, really. The negative comments, I feel they’re the minority. I think people have been really thoughtful in considering this album.”
Has anyone else from other bands reached out to you about the album?
Synyster Gates: “I can’t name-drop, unfortunately, I’m not that guy to use their names, but, yes, overwhelmingly so. The amount of positive criticisms or even the ‘What the fuck?’… that’s my favourite, people calling me up and going, ‘What the fuck did you do? What were you listening to? Where did this come from?’ I love that. We’ve definitely had more of that here than from any other record.” You’ve been touring the States.
How challenging has it been to integrate the new material?
Synyster Gates: “Well, there’s a lot of programming, because the new album is essentially a hip hop album in regard to the tracks and different things. The guitars have to change on a dime. It took six months to program the show, it took six months to create the visuals. We just have to get our setlist in order and see whatever bells and whistles we can add.”
Was it hard to choose the setlist, knowing what to take out and add in, and make it flow cohesively?
Synyster Gates: “Actually, no. We were all on the same page. We wanted to do a lot of new material, we don’t want to be a novelty, legacy act. We see the vision. If the album had flopped and fans had completely hated it then we wouldn’t have buttfucked them. But we can see the passion and I feel like we’re on the same page.”
Which young bands remind you of Avenged?
Synyster Gates: “Kim Dracula, they’re fearless. Their ability to just be themselves and their confidence, it’s mind-blowing. I’m sure you’re going to see a really unique career there. A personal favourite of mine is 100 gecs – Jesus, they’ve just turned music upside down. I was toast after this record – no more new music, maybe I could think about a new song in five years. Then their album came out just before we released our record and I was like, ‘Hey Matt, wanna go write some crazy shit?’ They completely re-energised me. We’re not planning anything new, but it gets you excited.”
#avenged sevenfold#a7x#synyster gates#m shadows#zacky vengeance#johnny christ#brooks wackerman#life is but a dream
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just some more, i hope u like it <3
their little girl wouldn't choose a bad person to date. she was raised well and with a father who treat her like a princess. But as with any relationship, there are fights, and it takes all of Eddie's effort not to intrude when his little girl comes home suffering from a broken heart. Chrissy has to remind him how dramatic teenagers are.
chrissy has some problems with her postpartum body. there have been changes, of course, but eddie is there to remind her that she is human and that this is normal, and how she is the most badass woman in the world for carrying their angel for nine months. She also does therapy!
Eddie going to work with colored clips in his hair, painted nails in different colors and makeup. courtesy of his daughter (chrissy took an amazing photo
based on a true story, for some reason eddie had to shave his hair. his daughter doesn't recognize him and cries hiding behind her mother. Eddie almost considers buying a wig, but eventually, she recognizes it's her father. but this breaks his poor heart 😅
Chrissy is the most loving mom in the world, and she doesn't fall short of eddie in being a mama bear. she always makes sure her daughter has self esteem and they love to cook together (helps chrissy have a better relationship with food too)
TYYY AGAINNN MY DEAR!! I love dad!eddie sm ✨✨
-absolutely I think their daughter would date someone who treats her with the upmost respect there is and if that person doesn’t, then no way in helllll would her patents let her be with someone who isn’t deserving. I cant see Eddie or Chrissy to be the overbearing helicopter parents but they’d definitely like to see who their daughter is dating only out of caring bc face it both of them know how cruel high schoolers can be especially when it comes to treating teenage girls!! So when their angel has her first “heartbreak” Eddie literally needs to be held back from tearing apart whoever left his bb in such a sad state :( Chrissy would totally be his backbone but is also there to remind him that teenagers are WHACK and their girl will be back to herself in no time !!
-After giving birth I knowwww Chrissy would be struggling :( this is also an ED warning so if you struggle, skip over this part <3 but as someone who has/still is struggling I know how she’d feel. When her body goes through any sort of change it would be hard and she’d possibly start to trail back to those horrible comments and thoughts that ruined her self imagine, but Eddie WOULD be there to remind her that it’s only natural that her body changes and without it going through those changes, they wouldn’t have their baby you know??? Besides, he only finds her more attractive and there’s no doubt that she wouldn’t look just as beautiful as she has before 💕 so she takes it one step at a time to be grateful for her body that just created and carried a new life into the world
-I think Eddie would work someplace that isn’t like uhhh self conforming….so maybe managing a record shop or a Music Store!!! Definitely a place that represents him and doesn’t make him want to rip out his hair!! So the days that he walks in with wacky hair clips placed miraculously around his locks or his nails being painted in different patterns, none of the other staff members bat an eye!! Due to the picture of his little gal that’s framed on his teeeeny office space, they know exactly what’s up. I think the younger employees, like mainly the teenaged girls, would go out of their way to even compliment his different looks and tease him by saying “sooooooo Eddie, when can we get our hair done by your daughter??” ;) but everyone who works there is superrrr friendly and on the special days that Chrissy and lil daughter stop by, they all treat them like royalty
-I think when his bb is like two or maybe still a year old, he’d get reallll tired of his long hair :( it’s not that he thinks it’s lame or anything but it’s ✨Maintenence✨ and dealing with a baby left like noooo room for that! Chrissy would be s h o o k when he asks her for help on buzzing it and she’s even more surprised when she finds out how cute he looks but he’s still a total DILF. However, his bb on the other hand wouldn’t take it so well <3 from birth, she’s only familiar with daddy having long hair so when that’s gone she’s like uhhhh who’s this and what did u do to my dad??? I think she’d hide into the crook of Chrissy’s neck and start to cry if Eddie tried to hold her which breaks his heart and makes him regret his haircut!! Slowly but surely his hair grows back but his daughter luckily grew out of her “I want my dad back” phase and they’re all gooood 💁🏻♀️
-MOM!CHRISSY FTW 💕 I think chrissy would just try her hardest to be her daughters backbone no matter what!! Wether that’s checking on her when she seems down or making sure she’s ate enough, it’s all because Chris just wants to be the mom she never had. Chrissy was thrilled to find out she was having a girl, but deep down it also scared her :( she would never want her daughter to grow to hate her or resent her in the way that Chrissy did towards her own mom </3 Chrissy always tries her hardest and never fails 🤍
THANK U ANGEL FOR THESE!! I love them as parents ✨ reqs are always open 💕
#stranger things#chrissy x eddie#eddie munson#eddie x chrissy#stranger things 4#grace van dien#eddissy#joesph quinn#stranger things headcanons#chrissy cunnigham#dad!eddie munson#mom!chrissy cunningham
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Fighting Destiny - Prologue
The Owl House, Colorblind Soulmates AU
Summary:
For all of her life, Luz has searched for a place where she fits in, where she can be herself. And once she finds that place, she thinks she couldn't be happier - until she learns that her colorblindness might mean she has a soulmate somewhere and just hasn't found them.
Not yet.
For all of her life, Amity has witnessed what a horrible thing a soulmate bond is, and how it can ruin someone's life. If that choice would be hers to make, she would choose to never see color in her entire life.
But it's not.
next chapter >
AO3
Ever since she has been born, her daughter has never seen color, Camila Noceda knew that. And she also knew that this never did any harm to her vibrant fantasy and her limitless ability to dream - Luz never ceased to amaze her mother about how detailed and lively she could describe a fantasy world, a scenery she just made up, without referencing any kind of color whatsoever. How she was able to let it come to life right in Camila’s imagination, no matter how little creativity her mother had within herself, was a mystery to her.
But as unique and special her daughter’s mind worked, as hard it was for others to understand her, to connect with her. As much as her creativity defined her, as lonely it caused her to be.
Camila was scared that, one day, the world inside of her daughter’s heart would be just as dull and grey as the picture of the world she saw around herself.
It would be better to dampen the brightness of her imagination so it wouldn’t let her end up in a lonely life in darkness.
Right?
***
“Mom, I know the snakes were maybe a bit much, I promise it won’t happen again. Really, this time I mean it! No more animals as part of my book reports!”
Luz tries to keep the desperation out of her voice as best as she can as she hops out of the car. Never has a thought scared her more than spending (and wasting) her entire summer at that weird, awfully boring-sounding summer camp.
Her mother sighs.
“Mija, I want to believe you, really. And I believe that you actually believe what you’re saying right now. But I fear you need a little help with gaining control over that… How would you phrase it? …fire of creativity within you. You need help to be able to tell reality and fantasy apart. And that camp is just the right place for you to get that help.”Without much success, Luz tries to swallow down the lump that forms in her throat. “Mom…”
Seeing the telltale shimmer of tears in her daughter’s eyes, Camila rushes to Luz’s side to hug her. “Oh baby, this won’t be bad, I’m sure you will like it! We’re not sending you there to distinguish that fire or to stop you from expressing yourself, you know? Just to help you gain control over it. Alright? It will be fun!”
As she wipes her eyes, Luz nods. She doesn’t want to hurt her mother further, which she knows she has done before by her actions. Also, her mother would never do something to hurt her, either. And maybe she’s right, maybe this will be fun! Thinking inside the box can’t be that bad!
But although Luz keeps telling herself exactly that over and over again as she packs her bags a few nights later, the pit that seemed to have appeared in her stomach only seems to grow wider.
Is something wrong with her? If even her mother can’t accept her the way she is… Who can? Why does she not fit in? Why is she so different? Is she wrong? Defective? Does she not belong here? And if that’s true, is there a place where she belongs somewhere else? Or will she never fit in anywhere?
Firmly, Luz presses her lips together as she closes her suitcase. If there’s only the slightest chance that “Reality Check Camp” will help her to find the answers to only a few of such questions, she will go.
And yet… as she stands by their home, waiting for the bus to pick her up, the feeling of emptiness and anxiety is gnawing at her again. But before she can drown in hurtful thoughts again, before they can devour her, the voice of her mother brings her back to reality.
“Oh, my baby!” As soon as she’s by her side, she hugs Luz tight but even that doesn’t spark the same joy it usually does within the girl. “Now, don’t worry, summer camp is only going to be for three months. You’ll be so busy balancing checkbooks and learning to… appreciate public radio, the time will fly by!”
No matter how well her mother means, no matter that these words were meant to encourage Luz; they only cause the dread about what’s ahead of her to grow. The pit inside of her stomach seems to become wider and wider, not stopping until it will have engulfed her completely - until everything that makes Luz the person she is will disappear.
“But I don’t like any of that stuff. I like editing anime clips to music and ready fantasy books with convoluted backstories.” While she explains, Luz pulls the book out of her bag that she just couldn’t leave back home, even if she wanted to: The Good Witch Azura.
“Mija, your fantasy world is holding you back. Do you have any friends?”
Luz doesn’t really want to answer that. How is her fantasy world holding her back if it’s the only place where she is allowed to be herself, where she is accepted? Why should she leave the fantasy world behind if she has to pretend to be someone she is not to fit into the real world?
“Real ones. Not imagined or drawn or reptilian.”
Right. Because else, she will be alone forever and no one will ever love her.
“Summer camp is a chance to make some friends. But you have to try. Can you do that?”
As her mother speaks, Luz stares at the book in her hands.
Has she been wrong all this time? Is Azura really the one who understands her? Or is she the one who holds her back?Seemingly without her command, Luz’s feet carry her to the trash bin on the sidewalk. Maybe… it’s time to let go. To try something new.
“Yes, mom.”
The moment her hands let go of the book, it feels as if she’s let go of a part of herself. Even colors wouldn’t have been able to make the picture in front of her less sad; this masterpiece, this epitome of magic and fantasy, lying in the trash by the old newspapers and empty soda bottles.
Yet, Luz can’t bring herself to look away.
She barely notices the buzzing of her mother’s phone. “Oh, I gotta go to work.” Not even the forehead kisses ignite any kind of warm feeling inside of her. “Your bus is coming soon, text me when you get there. Cuidate mucho, Mija. Que te vaya bien.”
“Bye, mom…”
It only takes Luz a heartbeat to turn around and frantically rummage through the trash, deeply regretting what she’s just done. But although she saw the book there just a few seconds ago, her hand doesn’t get a hold of it.
“Where is it? Where is it?!”
Panic takes over Luz. If she really has to go to this terrible camp, she can’t do it without Azura!
Before she can even consider diving into the garbage bin, she hears the hooting of an owl. Not any less curious than confused, she looks up to really find a tiny owl only a few feet away from her. And it was holding a bag with her book in it!
The second it takes Luz to process the picture in front of her is enough for the owl to turn around and jump-fly away.
“Tiny trash thief!”
Not wasting a single thought on the bus and the possibility that she might miss it, Luz hurries after the owl, unwilling to let it disappear with her most precious belonging. Sure, the shack it flies right into does look a bit creepy but not creepy enough to keep a passionate Azura fan like herself from entering.
***
And, just like that, Luz finds herself on the Boiling Isles. And, just like that, she finds a person to not fit in with together.
A person who will teach her to become a witch.
#the owl house#toh#toh fanfic#the owl house fic#soulmate au#colorblind soulmates#toh soulmate au#fighting destiny#toh lumity#lumity#luz noceda#amity blight
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So, what does Cole feel about his Grandpa in Shadows of the Past?
((for Echoes of the Past, Cole is initially *very* unhappy with him after he finds out who he is form Wu.(going to give coles Gpa the name ‘Igneous’)
"Why did you do it? You knew Chen wasn't going to make anything better! He was the one starting all of this up in the first place!" Cole pointed, unable to look him in the eye. No wonder his mom rarely talked about him, a traitor didn't deserve the acknowledgement, especially one working for such a horrible person.
"My friends and family were serpentine!" He retorted, "I didn't work for Chen because I wanted to, I worked for him begrudgingly because he promised not to drive the serpentine away!" His voice boomed through the monastery walls, fully catching Cole’s attention who flinched at the tone. “What good that did to me, all it did was drive a wedge between me and my daughter...”
Both earth elementals held their breath in tense silence, neither satisfied with the predicament. “I didn’t want any part of it, but I had to choose-”
“And why’s that? Why didn’t you run away like- like Libber did?” he pointed.
Igneous kept his gaze, “They wouldn’t let me. I was too much an asset. Any elemental who’s immune to the one thing that can stop them is an asset.” He stepped around Cole and sunk into the cushions of the couch, staring at his reflection through the black TV screen. “Come, I will tell you my story so that you may understand, and then you will decide if I am justified.”
Cole contemplated the offer. On one hand, he could be lying about this whole thing, his sincere tone a front to something sinister, but on the other, what better account of events than from the person who’s incriminated? Wu was never one to talk about past elemental masters, and who knew how long this anomaly would last?
The couch frame creaked as he sat beside him, “Okay.”
“I lived in Metalonia for most of my life, and I trained very hard with varied substances, Rocks, clay, sand, minerals, the works. I was the best at what I did, but I thought it was stupid that vengestone could hinder even my own powers, so I trained with those too. Then the spinjuitzu brothers approach me in awe at my overcoming of it and requested me to be a spy prisoner in an anacondrai settlement. I agreed because it was unwise to go against the word of The Master’s children. Then they wanted me to be placed in a different prison and another, and then they wanted me to fight so I did, and I did, and I neglected my family at their request.
“I thought it would be all for good, no? Tensions were high and they needed information to lower them. Then I learned of this plan to be rid of the serpentine, and I learned I was helping them for that reason. I felt betrayed, and decided that I wouldn’t have any part of that, so I went to Chen and told him everything. Err I may have been sweet talked some, he knew everything I told him already, but he knew of my abilities and decided to let me side with him.
“When the fighting was over, I fled. I thought I would be safe to return to my Lily, but she had ran away from home.... It may have been a trap, the Spinjuitzu brothers knew that I could not be outmatched by another elemental so they sent the dragons to deal with me.”
“the dragons...? What did they do?” Cole swallowed.
Igneous stared through him, “They tore me to pieces. I only remember losing my leg.”
It stung an old memory, one of which his mother told him when he was a child. It was a bedtime story, about the vicious otherworldly beings of the sky. “It.. was true?”
“I do not want sympathy,” He stood up, “But I do not think we must be at odds for the actions of the past.” ))
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Holiday Films and Romantic Heroes
OR…George Bailey Has Big Shoes to Fill, But J Can Do It
I never know what to get J for Christmas. He’s a hard man to shop for. It gives me anxiety. Because he deserves to be lavishly celebrated, but…I don’t know how to do that properly, I guess.
Gift giving for J is kind of intimidating, because, in my life, J’s the best person who’s ever been born. I know…people who actually read the stuff I post know we have a son, and I’m supposed to say that our son is the best person to ever be born. I get it. Of COURSE I love our son to absolute pieces. I love him on a cellular level. I love every neuron in his brain and every blood cell pumping through his veins. I’d gladly and without hesitation lay down all my cells for any of his. But I loved J like that FIRST, and without that consuming love for J, there would be no Boy. The Boy is the best *gift* J ever gave me. And he was even born immediately before Christmas. We brought him home from the hospital on Christmas Eve.
Again…I know. I’m a modern feminist. I don’t think women should be pigeon-holed by or glorified for motherhood, and not everyone wants to be a parent, but I DID and DO. I know women aren’t defined by the number of children they have (or don’t have), and a huge number of women parent solo, some by choice, not circumstance. But being a mom is important to me, personally, and I know it’s something that wouldn’t have happened for me without J. I never trusted anyone else enough to have sex with them, much less embark on a decades long partnership involving another human life, and I know it’s not something I’d have ever considered choosing to do by myself.
J has given and continues to give me…jeez…everything.
When I was a little girl, I wanted a dog so badly I dragged a plush dog around for years, pretending it was real. I even wrote a little ‘theme’ at school in the second grade about My Dog (my stuffie) that was so convincing my teacher mentioned it to my mom on parent/teacher night. ‘Boy, she really loves her dog.’ My mom revealed it was just a stuffed animal, and my teacher was stunned. I begged my parents incessantly, always hearing 'no.’
When J and I got married and moved to our current home, I mentioned that I’d always wanted a dog. (One of the reasons for 'no’ when I was a kid was that we lived in an apartment. I asked again when we lived in a house with a fenced in yard…my parents still said no).
J: You want a dog? I’ll get you one.
He was on PetFinder within the next five minutes. We had our rescue pupper dog 6 weeks after we bought the house.
J’s given me unconditional acceptance of my quirks and kinks and flaws, and has helped me better myself. I’m physically in better shape, I’m less afraid in general and my panic attacks are fewer and farther between. I’m happier, more confident, more comfortable socially, and I feel more attractive. He’s given me financial independence…a product of his hard work, ingenuity, and sacrifice, not inherited wealth or blind luck. He gave me the child I always wanted, the home I always wanted, the dog I always wanted, the relationship loyalty and security I always wanted, the family I always wanted, plus about a million other smaller things. And he doesn’t even ask for any credit for it.
Anyway, I’ve seen this survey question floating around online: 'Which fictional couple would you compare yourselves to?’ I’ve seen a lot of good answers. Hank and Peggy Hill (ha!), Gomez and Morticia Addams, Meredith Grey and Derek Shepard from Grey’s Anatomy, Harry and Sally from When Harry Met Sally, Archie and Edith Bunker from All in the Family…
I’d say J and I are more like George and Mary Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life.
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love that scene!)
It’s a romantic movie, not just a holiday film. Trust me. It’s actually probably my favorite love story in film. And J is that kind of romantic hero.
He’s so kind and selfless and always does the right thing and helps other people, even when it involves a forfeit of what he wanted for himself. He’s that quiet, unsung hero in real life. He asks me what I want and works hard to make it happen, whether that’s his own giving nature and determination, or encouraging me and helping to hold me accountable to achieve my own goals. I don’t normally ask for or want to do anything too crazy, but J will still help me get whatever it is with little, if any, regard for how wildly irrational it might be.
And me? Well…you know that scene where Clarence is showing George how things are because he’d never been born, and George asks for Mary, and Clarence says, 'You’re not gonna like it George…’ and they find her and she’s a fearful, solitary, pathologically reclusive librarian whose entire life is her work? Not that there’s anything wrong with fearful, solitary, pathologically reclusive librarians whose entire lives are their work if that’s what they want out of life, but that’s not the life I wanted for myself. I am **convinced** that would be me without J.
J gave me the **life** I always wanted.
So I get anxiety every year around Christmas, because I don’t know what to do for him. How to show enough appreciation and gratitude to him. I feel overwhelmed with those feelings every day, but especially on gift giving occasions. He’s given me all of this…he’s made literal dreams and fantasies come true for me. Getting him some car accessory or renewing his subscription to American Motorcyclist seems dreadfully inadequate. And the one way J is NOT like George Bailey is that he’s never in any kind of big trouble I could save him from, so…I can’t even plagiarize the movie. All I have is a bunch of sappy (but heartfelt and TRUE) words. And imperfect me.
I love J beyond all rhyme and reason. I’m so, so happy and grateful he was born, and that I get to be his wife. He’s my romantic hero. He’s my leading man.
Thank you, J, for my wonderful life.
It IS a wonderful life.
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Also I am finally living for me.
My family was the epitome of the most toxic things about myself. I actually taught myself how to be empathetic, compassionate, a great listener, motivational / inspirational and an exceptional communicator due to my upbringing.
I cut off my family this recent Sunday after my dad exposed for the final time that he doesn’t care about my emotional needs and what I’ve been through, even as a grown woman. I decided for the final time I had to grow up and that meant realizing what no longer serves me.
My parents were the reason my self esteem was in the trash for a long time, especially my father. From a very young age, my father ingrained on my subconscious that I was not his priority or an interest to him. Anything and everything came before me. Before my school recitals, dance competitions, game days, etc. if my dad had something else of interest going on, he went to that instead. He didn’t even attend my high school graduation.
Fast forward to my brother being born, my dad attends everything, even the store with my mom to buy his potty training book. I didn’t know this would have a massive affect on me later in life.
My dad went to anything my brother did, I was living in his shadow. The only way I was recognized was when I made good grades and I was an exceptional student. I learned “good grades = attention (positive)” and “good student = praise (positive)”. This was all I felt I was worth. My brother on the other hand wouldn’t work hard to save his life. My parents will break their backs, legs and arms giving my brother their money just to “survive”. But let their responsible older child ask for money, they’ll make sure to charge interest.
I asked my dad a single time about borrowing money for my hair being done. It was only $20 because I didn’t make enough from my school grade money. He told me each day I don’t pay him back, it would be an additional $5. I paid him back in full not even a week later by staying after school and doing extra credit to earn a higher grade on an assignment. My mom paid me for making A’s and this was an A+ so it meant I got an extra $10.
My mom was just as crucial and critical to me during those years. She compared me to another school mate my entire high school life. She knew everything about that other girls life, telling me why can’t I be more like that woman’s daughter. You know something? I never saw the issue in that. Oh, but my self esteem did, subconsciously.
My parents subconsciously taught me that I don’t matter and I’m not good enough. So it meant I kept choosing people / friends that reiterated that exact same belief. Repeating the cycle over and over.
Until 2017 when I met the greatest people in the naruto fandom (I’ll never stop thanking them for saving my life).
And also - until now, exactly, too. My mom used to make fun of me for gaining any weight slightly. She used to tell me I looked unhealthy. I felt like trash.
Now, I don’t care. I’m finally eating again. I’m cooking meals that could make me “fat” and I don’t care. I’m the happiest I’ve been in such a long time and it’s because I stopped looking for validation and approval from shitty and toxic people.
Next year will be much better and different for me but it starts now.
So far I’m really happy..and I don’t feel like I have to apologize for that anymore.
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Hi there👋, I'm sorry about your Mom, it really do suck living with someone like that🙁, and it's really frustrating because you can't do anything about it, I don't know how else I can offer comfort or support☹, but I'm all ears if you need to vent some more, I do appreciate your posts and love reading them:)
Thanks, anon. It’s been difficult because it’s been tense my entire life. It took me long enough to move out since it’s not exactly easy to get out on your own and then I had setbacks like having to move back home after things went south with my first apartment and then covid hit which almost made it a good thing because I couldn’t imagine being stuck in that apartment situation during the lockdowns. Then when I moved out again the following year everything was great…then I got sick and never got better. Instead of being supportive, she only expresses disappointment which is understandable. Parents want more for their children, but to frequently get angry with me over something I had no control over?? Believe me, if I could go out and work full time again, I would because it’s not like I’m independently wealthy where it is normal and okay to be unemployed. Instead I’m dependent on other people and living off my savings, which thankfully I had a lot of due to never doing anything but going to work and going home. My money was just spent on necessities and then games every now and then so I still have a good amount left but I need to find something I can handle to make money if I’m unable to get disability. They make it so hard to get assistance yet jobs don’t want to accommodate doctor’s appointments, flare up days, physical restrictions, or anything else they’d deem unreliable. Not to mention, no jobs have any covid mitigations in place anymore so it’s an unsafe environment for me. Both times I’ve gotten covid happened when I was masking but other people weren’t. One way masking is ineffective for people like me who are more susceptible to illness. I unfortunately found that out the hard way as my first covid infection disabled me and now I have lifelong health conditions. Watching everyone around me have the life that I should have had while I experience chronic pain that affects the use of my dominant arm, brain fog, cardiac symptoms, fatigue, etc. is so frustrating and heartbreaking. No one would choose to live like this and I wish she was more understanding of that. The only good thing is she and my dad let me move back home otherwise I’d be on the street so I feel like I shouldn’t complain, but I just wish she wouldn’t be such a bitch to me all the time. It goes beyond this, she’s a homophobic, bigoted, covid denying(even though she sees I live with the effects of long covid daily), conservative. I feel like I was robbed of a caring mom and I’m so envious of people who have that.
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Discovery
I’ve always known that I was different from my classmates in several key ways. One, I was abnormally good at math. I was usually the first person in my class to pick up new concepts, and I often had to help explain it to my friends after class. Two, I placed way more importance on reading time than the rest of my classmates did. While my friends would lament about having to be silent for an hour and read a book, I couldn’t get enough of it. I devoured books faster than my teacher could keep up with, but I didn’t mind re-reading books as long as I got to read at all. Three, I never had crushes on boys like my female friends did. I didn’t get nervous around whoever was deemed “the cutest boy in class” that week. I didn’t want to conspire with my friends for a boy’s attention. I didn’t look at boys as anything other than people who I could play with during recess and pester during class activities. But, in order to fit in, I pretended like I did. I played the part perfectly, even going so far as to do play-pretend weddings to my friends who were playing the part of the boy we were all supposed to be crushing on.
This trend continued well into middle school, because that was the only thing I could do. I lived in North Carolina in the late 2000s and early 2010s, so being anything other than straight wasn’t an option. I didn’t even know what being gay was until I was in the 7th grade. At this point, my family had moved to Colorado, so I was at a new school and was making new friends. As if it were the universe’s idea of a funny joke, I managed to weasel my way into the most queer friend group that existed - the absolute antithesis of all my friends growing up. I am still friends with all of them today, so clearly I got something right in choosing them. And, honestly, thank the stars that I did meet them, or I would probably be a much more unhappy person today.
My friends in middle school taught me all about the LGBTQ+ community, and I eagerly soaked up all of the information like a sponge. Thankfully, I hadn’t inherited any of the external homophobia from my mom, but unfortunately internalized homophobia lived deep inside me. Which made what happened next so hard for me to handle. I had developed feelings for my female best friend, much to my surprise, especially because I had convinced myself that I had a crush on one of the male friends in my group at the same time. I was absolutely destroyed by the idea of being gay, because that wasn’t supposed to be something that I was. I had absolutely no problem with other people being gay, but me? No way.
As it turns out? Yes way. It took years for me to come to terms with it, but it was an inescapable fact about myself that wouldn’t go away no matter how many boys I pretended to like. I liked women in a romantic way, and that was going to have to be okay. And it was okay. Better than okay, even. I got my first girlfriend in my sophomore year of high school and finally felt all of the things that my friends talked about all the way back in elementary school. Looking at her made me so nervous, and I did anything to get her attention, and I wanted to be special to her like she was to me. It all finally made sense. I was an out-and-proud lesbian.
That is, until sex came into the conversation. It was all my friends could talk about. How they had sex with their first significant other, how they wanted to have sex before college, how they couldn’t wait until the second they turned 18 so they could download tinder and start hooking up with people. It felt like I was five years old hearing about crushes again. I didn’t want to do any of those things. I felt like I was going to combust just from holding my girlfriend’s hand. Just the thought of having sex with her (or anyone else for that matter) was actually too much for my brain to handle. I didn’t like the idea of being that vulnerable with someone, even if I trusted my girlfriend in all other parts of my life. Thankfully, but also sadly, my girlfriend broke up with me before that was a conversation that we could have. But the feelings persisted - I still didn’t want to have sex. I figured that it was because I was too young, and that it was something that I would grow into.
I wasn’t a late bloomer like I had hoped. I found myself two years later at 17 years old still not interested in having sex, and I felt like there was something wrong with me. Literally everyone I knew had either had sex at that point or had expressed the strong desire to do so. My friends would rib me about “finding the right girl” that would make me want to, and I laughed along with them, but I knew that was never going to happen. I just didn’t feel the way that my friends did, and for the second time in my life I felt broken.
So, like all good moody teenagers do, I went to my dear friend Tumblr for some answers. I was scrolling through LGBTQ+ advice blogs, seeing if other lesbians ever felt this way when they were teenagers, when I stumbled upon a text post with the title “Do you not want to have sex? That’s okay.” My interest was piqued, so I read on, and the post ended up being an informational post about the asexual spectrum. It described my experiences near-perfectly, and honestly, I cried at that moment. I was so relieved. I wasn’t broken for feeling this way. There were other people who still had romantic interests like I did, but not sexual attraction. There was a community of people who felt what I had felt and shared resources online to help others (aka me) get out of that sooner.
So here I stand, an out-and-proud asexual and homoromantic woman, and I am finally comfortable in my own skin. And I owe it to Tumblr for that. I will forever be grateful for the online resources that I found here, and I am so happy that I get the opportunity to try to be that source of discovery for some other baby ace out there. If you’re just figuring out who you are and have stumbled into reading this like I did with another post years ago, know that you are not alone. You are not broken. You can and will find happiness in your relationships with others. Being asexual or aromantic or both just adds another layer of richness to your life experience, and I for one am happy that we can share this point of connection.
Thank you so much for getting this far and reading my story of discovering who I am. I hope that this can be of help to anyone reading, and I hope that you have a great rest of your day.
Until next time,
Morph
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