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inkskinned · 4 months

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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

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blanche-elizabeth-devereaux · 6 months

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he has huge tracts of... land

#rdr2 #arthur morgan #has this been done yet??#bc i can't stop thinking about it #red dead redemption 2 #where is the lie

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mysweetoddbird · 8 months

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that sequence in the Gone Fishin' Job where Hardison and Eliot get taken hostage is Really Something because like. Eliot's looking around and he's counting. and he's deciding whether he can risk a fight. and then he looks over at Hardison. at the guns aimed at Hardison. and he goes without a fight. cause he can take a bullet, he can take the risk, but Hardison can't. that ain't ever an option.

#leverage #leverage ot3 #and Again when the train comes #bc he cant put hardison in danger. thats where his priorities lie #alec hardison #eliot spencer

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devotioncrater · 4 months

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im literally gonna...be sick to...my stomach. house and wilson wanted each other so viscerally in 3x19. all wilson had to do was barge into house's office and wordlessly kiss him. like. that's all it would have took. house wanted wilson to do that SO SO SO badly. i need to lay down

#hilson #house md #im ill. i have work in the morning yet im gonna lie awake all night thinking abt this #are there any fix-it fics where wilson storms back into house's office after saying goodnight and . passionately kisses him?#are there???? anyone got any recs?????#if not im gonna write it bc. yeah holy shit

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bobzora · 2 months

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clock strike 12

#my art #persona 3 #p3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #aigis #s.e.e.s #i have been first thinking about making this drawing since... about when i finished fes? and then i started it before reload came out.#long time coming! was a little obsessed with the clock thing will not lie #sooo the only thing from reload that made it in was his little sprout ahoge. moe #anyway I LOVE MINATO ARISATO!!!! MIMI!!!! dies. dies. heart #this drawings kind of huge i actually had to scale it down to get it to fit! lolmao.#also please ignore koromaru i did my best and that's what counts. xoxo #little detail: in the sketching stage i referenced their faces in the scene where they reunite with him :) idk how much that stayed bc i di #not keep referencing that but ! that was something i did.#also if i was better and more awesome i would have thanatos in the top right but your honor. i was not going to fucking do that. <3 #...might edit 2 make this my phone background. maybe #I LOVE YOU PERSONA THREE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for coming.

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shima-draws · 4 months

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Still going through it emotionally btw. I've seen a lot of character death in anime but it's been a WHILE since I've seen one as brutal as Ace's, especially bc of Luffy's reaction to it. Character death isn't unusual but the trauma and PTSD that comes after it isn't really shown that often so Oda actually showing Luffy going through it is. Oof. That shit HURTS bro. And the fact that Luffy's immediate reaction is to just. Self destruct. To hurt himself and risk his own life?? Like it was never explicitly said but I could see the suicidal intent there and jesus CHRIST. Just sitting there watching him refuse to accept it and then mourn and grieve was absolutely brutal;; Not to mention the fact that like. We can see him having PTSD flashbacks. It was just written very well (too well bc I'm still a goddamn mess) and I gotta commend Oda even tho he's putting me through the fucking wringer

#A character death hasn't hit me this hard since Eugeo tbh. It's been a While #Actually thinking about it yeah Kirito's reaction to that was very similar to Luffy's #And Kiri actually. Did genuinely try to kill himself bc of it. Like it wasn't even subtle #Anyway. Woof. I'm fine ahaha (lying)#Do you ever just go through it emotionally and just need to lie down for a while. That's where I'm at rn #One Piece #One Piece spoilers #Suicide tw #Self harm tw #Monkey D Luffy #Luffy #Portagas D Ace #Ace #Ask to tag #Shima speaks

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glitterghost · 2 years

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Normalize wanting to gaze at someone because they're mesmerizing. That something about them clicks in your brain that's soothing. Or calming. Appreciative in a way that isn't an "I want to fuck you" way but a "you bring me joy" kind of way.

#asexual #this happens to me where I'll see someone and just *click* there is something about them i love #idk what it is but they're this mystery of happiness that seeps into my brain #if feels weird to explain to people bc i feel like if you do it also you understand #like i know nothing about you but i want to give you all the joy i can #i want to tell you that you've made me day for no reason than being yourself who ever that is #i wont lie bc bad omens is ALSO that for me mixed with other things of course #but its more when you see someone randomly #and get pulled into their gravity and just are trying to figure out what it is #about them #maybe this makes sense or no sense at all who knows

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 7 months

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i don't think i posted doodles of Sundown Summer's loyal steed! he's a starry appaloosa. a... starpaloosa. constelloopa. appastella. he has a body count written in blood

#fun fact his character is Years older than sundown #he was originally a bounty hunter who happened to be a weird cartoon horse #i wonder if i can find any of his original doodles in an old sketchbook...#he looks pretty different but still Similar to his og design!#nah thats a lie. thats a blatant fucking lie lmao #he's kept the hat & the eye and the mane/tail #the sideburn is a new development #i like this spruced up design better! he has more Character to him!#scribble salad #forced idiots <3 #oc #original character #they love each other very much <3 #wlw mlm solidarity to the max #if anyone looks at sundown wrong he Will stomp them to death with his hooves #they were quite literally made for each other!#honestly someday i want to do a animatic for them w/ centaurworld's 'i was searching for you' song #bc Yeah. i have a scene in mind for them where that pretty much happens #oh to have a loyal gay murderous horse by my side...#man im so happy with his colors and overall design #not sure with sundown's colors but hmmmm its good enough for now #ill workshop it #he was almost a lighter blue w/ a black blanket and white stars #but i took one look and my brain went That Is Yeehaw Princess Luna so uhhhh this is better!

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rayjayoo · 7 months

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[ trips and falls down the stairs ]

hello i come bearing phos doodles o(-(

#ray art #houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #hnk phos #phosphophyllite #howdy again doing my once in a blue moon tumblr art post #“hopefully more art soon” so that was a lie!#anyways in my time gone ive had other things come in with a steel chair and take over my braincells #them being orv #especially orv and hnk #like my GOD my artblock is still kicking my ass even now but once i get past it i swear im going to make so much art for both of them #gonna draw an au where nothing bad ever happened to phos bc i still havent Recovered from the most recent chapters #PHOS MY BABYYYY AUGHHUEUEUEUE #alright thats it from me see you either soon or ina million years again

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pinklotusemoji · 7 months

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still thinking about this…. absolutely crazy …..

#imagine ur ship having a mother mary holding her dead son parallel 😭#i’m gonna be honest tho if it was like one of my fav toxic ships i would be eating it up #but it just doesn’t work for kat@ang bc it just highlights the mother role katara is forced into #idk!#avatar the last airbender #atla #zutara #bc that’s my audience that is where my loyalties lie

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anyoldfandom · 3 months

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I am actually. I am so emotional over the Salazar parents and I need to share this to tumblr too.

A lot of stories where the MC is adopted I feel. Either dismiss the biological parents and the impact they have on the kid's life, or makes them evil and abusive, framing the loss of the bio parents as a good thing, or at least something we shouldn't think about just look at this new family.

But Genrex doesn't do that. From the start, Rex wanted to find out more about his parents - it's one of his primary character motivations, next to helping people. He loves them, even though he doesn't know them.

And the more he finds out about them, the more he realizes they loved him. Rylander is consumed by guilt but as Rex's first connection to his pre-Event life, the first thing he does is hug him. And when he tells Rex about his parents, the two things Rex knows is that 1) they were scientists, and 2) that when he was in danger, they were desperate enough to use their secret, experimental technology to save him. Technology built from their desire to help the world, to save countless lives and end countless suffering.

And then. When he finds out that they were dead, he doesn't stop caring. It'd be so easy, too, to tie it up there - his parents were good people, he got his answer about them, the end. But they don't. He doesn't. Because the show is saying once again that they are his parents. He still calls them mom and dad, even as the show makes it clear Holiday and Six adopted Rex as their son. Even as the show even parallels Six and One with Rex and Six (and I will talk about that more later if I don't forget, trust me), to really drive home how much they're family. Rex even says he considers the two of them family, and later that he considers Noah, Claire and Annie family.

He has new family, the show tells us, but his old family still matters to him. He's upset that he never has the chance to meet his parents, that everything he hears about them, about his time with them, is secondhand knowledge. It tells us clearly that not only does Rex still love them, but that he still wants to know them. And everything we find out about them reinforces the love that they had for each other.

We see Abuela and the family in Mexico, who connect him to his birth family and tell him that he was so loved back then, and still is now. We see their office in Abysus through Rex's eyes. The picture of him and his dad on his desk. The drawing Rex drew, proudly pinned to the wall.

We see it in the familiarity of the drawing. That that robot, that build, was what Rex created when he was lost and scared and alone - that it was made to keep him safe. That it first appeared in his mind in a place he felt safe.

The show says, tenderly and softly, that the love is still there. That the fact these people died was nothing but a tragedy, that their love is a big part of what made Rex who he is today - that every molecule in his body is filled with their final gift to him. That every time he cures someone, every time he uses a build, every time he makes a machine - we see the love that they had for him.

And the way he quietly absorbs his father's face. The way he freezes and whispers "Mamá?" when he finds out Zag-Rs has their mother's voice. The fact that she even has her voice as a testament to Caesar's love, too - that it was meant to bring comfort and safety. The way Rex yells at Caesar when he finds out they have a family property, a connection to their past, the way he fights to protect it.

And, none of this takes away still from Six and Holiday being Rex's family too. None of this removes the work either set of parents did for him, the love either set has - the show says that it was unfair that the Salazar parents were lost. That Six and Holiday are not replacements, that they still love him as parents but play different roles in his life. They can not, and have no desire to, replace the Salazars. But Rex needs parents, he needs protectors, and so they will do what they can for him - at first out of necessity, to keep this kid they barely know safe, but then out of love. They aren't replacing what was lost, but are doing their best to do what Rex's bio parents would do. And they do mess up in it - they mess up in ways Rex's bio parents might not have. Six is clearly bad with showing affection, affection we saw the Salazars give Rex so easily, and Holiday is overworked and stressed constantly, sometimes breaking under the pressure and snapping at Rex and Six, things we never saw the Salazars do.

It's just. It's about how sometimes things will not be the same. They will be different. That doesn't mean the people you lost aren't still with you.

#This is also. Why I dislike the 'Rex was secretly made for the nanite experiments the accident was a lie' theory so much #Bc it assigns malice where the show says over and over again there was only love.#That this was only ever a tragedy of good people whose good intentions were manipulated and twisted.#And I think giving them something shitty to have done in the past especially goes against the message of the show's perspective on adoption #The family we choose is not always stronger than the family we are born to. Sometimes they are equal in different ways.#Rex's bio parents are gone but not replaced. They have also shaped who he is #Six and Holiday are just picking up where they left off. Because they have to.#Also I don't like the theory that Rex's parents are EVOs somewhere bc I think it diminishes the impact of the tragedy too.#I get. Wanting them to have a happy ending. But I think it's important to realize that this is the closest they can have to a happy ending.#Some things cannot be replaced. Or fixed. Sometimes life takes what we love and what loves us. And that is okay.#It is okay to be upset at that and it is okay to never fully move on.#'What about Caesar?' I have. Another post's worth of thoughts about him.#But I think he's also a character who is defined more by Rex by their relation and defined by the story by his guilt #I think he is the closest thing Rex has to a shitty bio family member and he is shitty in plenty of ways #But he's also a parallel to Rex in a lot of ways. He fails where Rex succeeds bc of it.#generator rex #genrex #Anyways. Sorry for the big post.

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evil-ontheinside · 2 years

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After Ted and Karen get divorced the Wheelers get a cat. He has a totally normal and respectable name at the beginning but after a week the kids start to call him Teddy in remembrance of their dad ("he's not dead, why are you like this?")

Mike starts to tell him what a great dad he is whenever Karen is around. He gets especially dramatic about it when she has a bad day. She's not sure if she should reprimand him or laugh.

She cracks when one morning she finds the normal cat bowl replaced with one that says 'best dad ever'. (Mike also gets her a cup with the same on it bc she's been parenting them alone the whole time, she deserves both titles)

Will is a little worried about Mike at first bc he still remembers how it was with his dad and Mike's been a little quiet ever since but then he sees him make a father's day present for the cat and decides he's gonna be alright

Dustin is always overly polite to 'Mr. Wheeler' whenever he's around and tells him how much he respects and appreciates him and all the work he does around the house

Ted doesn't know any of this but Mike slips up one time and calls the cat dad while he and Holly are over for the mandatory visits. Ted doesn't get it but Holly can't stop giggling for the rest of the time and Mike makes sure to make little 'mistakes' like that around Ted to see how much he can get away with. Ted never gets it but Holly is lying on the floor laughing as soon as they get home. Karen is suspicious but the two refuse to tell her what's so funny

Nancy doesn't seem too invested in the whole thing at first but then she replaces Ted's face in the family picture with Teddy's (it took her and Jonathan hours to take the perfect picture so it would fit but it was worth it). Karen didn't notice at first and then has to awkwardly explain the situation to Mrs. Sinclair when she comes over for coffee. Mike loses it every time he walks past the picture

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lonlonranching · 11 months

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made an Astute observation.

#disco elysium #harrykim #also this is a lie itd be so much longer bc i know kim would be up to some crazy shit #like im just saying #also saw a p*rsona post in this format and i was like…. where else have i seen this…

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stromblessed · 5 months

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Mel 🔆, Viktor 🌌, and Jayce 🔥 symbolism

SUN 🔆

Mel's association with the sun is self-evident and still mostly shrouded in mystery, though her love scene with Jayce is notable, which is overlaid with starry imagery, where her silhouette and her freckled face are compared to the cosmos. The sun is also a star. It's just the star that's closest to Runeterra and has the most influence over the world.

Mel and the Hexcore are the POVs of the scene.

Hexcore and starry imagery is more strongly and consistently associated with someone else, though!

STARS 🌟 / THE COSMOS 🌌

Viktor's blue to purple pipeline is real

But seriously, the starry/swirly shapes point toward distant stars, the cosmos, a galaxy. There is no moon in Viktor's night scenes throughout the season, only stars.

Viktor's character regresses as the season goes on (blue to purple, ready to fall into Shimmer-like magenta as his corruption nears its peak).

His hubris opens him up to some kind of corruption by the Hexcore, or by whatever - or whoever - is using the Hexcore as a gateway, like what Jinx points out. Singed as his mentor plants and encourages the lie that Viktor believes, that he's better off alone and that the ends justify the means.

These perfectly ruinous circumstances lead to him getting Sky killed (Sky like sky blue, like Inspiration, lost as Viktor has lost sight of good in his pursuit of great).

In his running scene, Viktor runs not from left to right, filmspeak for progression - he runs from right to left, as though backstepping.

(And also for the Rocky Balboa reference called out in this brilliant post, but hey, I think it all works)

It's also worth laying the foundation that Viktor is a fantasy interpretation of Nikola Tesla, the Serbian-American inventor who was fascinated with electricity, radio signals, the cosmos, and [REDACTED for another post probably lol]

If you've fallen down the rabbit hole of League lore like I have, you might have picked up that peoples and warriors who are sun-worshipers are (at least anciently) tasked with hunting down and destroying Void beings, who are eldritch beings associated with the distant stars, or are Runeterrans constructed by the Void Watchers trapped between realms. The sun fights against interlopers from other dimensions or celestial bodies.

Mel and Viktor have the same ideas about risk and the nature of progress, and they are both technically foreigners living in Piltover and pursuing that progress - in two very different (but complementary) ways. They are most likely the two characters whose literal bodies are celestial, imbued with the Arcane. Their bodies are most likely augmented with magical metals.

Yet the arcane imagery that seems to accompany them respectively are diametrically opposed - Sun vs. Void, possibly. (Also, purple and yellow/gold are opposite or complement colors on the color wheel.)

Whether they wind up working together or whether they clash (as Viktor loses himself) or if it's a mix of both, I think Mel and Viktor are destined to collide in season 2.

So where does this leave Jayce?

FIRE 🔥

Fire for Jayce means more than one thing. The first thing that should come to mind is the fire of the forge. Creation and industry. The legacy and hard work of his family.

However, his FIRST imagery with fire occurs when Elora says "Speak of the devil" and Jayce is framed in flames at Mel's fundraising party.

He's similarly framed in the flames of a Molotov cocktail on the bridge between Piltover and the undercity with Viktor, after he's just called the people of the undercity dangerous.

What I think we're being shown here are Jayce's choices. He can use his talents and influence for good - creation and industry - or he can use them for destruction and oppression. A hammer can create.

A hammer can also be a weapon, a tool of destruction:

Fire can quickly burn and spread out of control.

Hey look, blue all the way to magenta in one scene!

And if you know his original League lore, the reason why his rivalry with [REDACTED] crosses the point of no return - fire and destruction. Yeah.

Jayce is interesting because his point position in the Mel-Viktor-Jayce trifecta makes it tempting to assign celestial imagery to him, too. However, adult Jayce is only present with Hexcore, star, and sun imagery when he is sharing a scene with Viktor or Mel respectively.

The show makes it a point that Mel and Viktor are the reasons he is the Man of Progress at all:

Note that Jayce in the center of his Man of Progress posters is backed by a gear (Viktor) and the sun (Mel). If Viktor had not intervened in episode 2, Jayce would be dead or disenfranchised. If Mel had not intervened in episode 3, then Jayce AND Viktor would have been kicked out of the Academy if not imprisoned or exiled, and Hextech with Jayce and Viktor at the helm would not exist.

(This is reaching, but I like to interpret that the circle + notches in the gear shape are like Viktor's star symbolism, but even if that's the big reach that I think it is, Viktor is a machinist, engineer, and techmaturgist with Artificer parents - the gear definitely represents him on a meta level)

The imagery that I believe is Jayce's and Jayce's alone is that of fire. He is terrestrial, using magic contained within tools the way he has always wanted to bring Hextech to every household, while Mel and Viktor are influenced by magic on a whole other level.

Sure would be a shame if Jayce found a reason to choose the path of destruction and be corrupted further, diverging from Mel and Viktor's core values

Sure would be a shame if Viktor's personal choices had consequences that radiated out further than season 1 and he gets put on a disastrous collision course with everything that Jayce and by extension Piltover hates and fears

Sure would be stressful for us if Arcane decided to be a Greek tragedy about it

Though possibly the most important piece of this picture is how Mel - gold like the sun, gold that doesn't tarnish or rust, gold that is an excellent conductor - has already faced the abyss and said NO to her own corruption:

It sure would be something for her to have to watch Jayce and Viktor go down a different path, huh

#arcane #mel medarda #viktor #jayce talis #Theres been a lot of interpretations of symbolism in Arcane but this is where my personal beliefs lie #I take it as matter of fact that Mel survives like Im still flabbergasted that yall think she dies but I suppose we shall see #This post needs to be broken down into like 10 different posts but it's fine weve got 11 months til season 2 to cook its fine #and like 5 of those 10 posts need to be about Jayce alone like there is a lot to unpack and I do not say that lightly #but who I actually want to write about is Mel bc the fandom assuming that shes dead has completely nuked so much #of what the Mel-Viktor-Jayce storyline is trying to say AND what the ENTIRE storyline of all of Arcane is trying to say #I swear to god I will bring the receipts #and I will corrupt you all with my Mel + Viktor agenda on the side ehehehehehe

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thedisablednaturalist · 3 months

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Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.

#wrenfea.exe #doctors and nurses dont fucking clown on this post #anything you say needs to be backed up by sources with apa citation thrown in for good measure #this is my personal experience dont tell me im exaggerating or just havent tried hard enough #i will kick you with my horse legs and then go lie down for 4 hours #bedbound people i am sending you so much love and will probably be joining you in a few years #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #fibromyalgia #disability #chronic illness #from the field #physically disabled #this also applies to neurodivergent and mentally ill people but pls don't derail #this is mainly about physical disabilities #you are welcome to make your own post and reference mine if you want @ me and ill reblog it #sometimes im like oh i cant be disabled bc i do all this stuff im a faker inflatrating the community #and then i have days like today where i cannot leave my bed #i am so pissed off that people with long covid and ME have to go through that fucking exercise rehabilitation program #that actively makes their mitochondria worse #you wouldnt start using a vase without fixing the cracks first #the water will spill out and the flower will die #degenerative disc disease

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raisinushigher · 3 months

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am i just so far gone with these two that i can barely correctly comprehend anything they do toward eachother as normal casual interaction anymore or was this actually topher being worried about abe

#bc like…….. in my mind #topher is SUPER like way overprotective of abe. both in the way that he doesn’t want him to get hurt #and he also doesnt like anyone else getting really close to him but he’s calmed down with that one a little #and to me this is one of those moments where topher would 1000% just drop everything #if he thinks abe is in actual danger #dont talk about it much bc i hate them yada yada but seriously i love just… thinking about the most mushiest take on them as possible #like topher is legit in love with abe ya know hes never felt the way he does with abe around in his life ya know #that’s just what they are to me. and that’s what this moment here makes me feel and i have not gotten over it at all #probably won’t until s4 comes out. this is my new favourite crumb #and another thing #i can not lie. i did. get unreasonably excited and happy when abe said he’d come with joan to where topher is #and then later when he said he’d stay behind with topher and the bleacher creatures #im not Even gona reach and pretend it means anything cuz it doesn’t i just love them being together at all #clone high #tophabe #clone high spoilers #mine

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