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redheadspark · 1 year

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Hi! I just wanted to say that I really like the way you write :)) May I request spring cottage with oliver wood please 🍀💗

A/N - YES! I love this one for Oliver, it very cute! Thanks for requesting this, anon!

Fulfilled

Summary - Oliver promises you a home rigt after the Second Wizard War, and he intends to keep it

Warnings - Only fluff for Oliver :)

"Come on, Oli. Where are we going?"

"Can't tell ya, luv. It'll ruin my surprise."

You held his hand and followed him up a small trail through the grassy field, right outside Ottery St Catchpole. You've been in that town ebfore plenty of times, mostly to visit the magical families that lived there: The Lovegoods, The Diggorys and The Weasleys. Ever since the Second Wiazrd War, you and Oliver would visit constantly to not just kepe your friendhsip alive, but to check up on them. The war took a toll on everyone, and lives were loss in the process.

You and Oliver survived together, a miracle in itself.

You both got married right after the war, thinking there was no time like the present to be together since you both nearly died that night at Hogwarts when you went to fight. Death was already all around you for hours in end, and that night felt too long and dreadful for you to endure alone. Oliver felt it too, and after you both finally made it home to Hogsmeads, or whatever was left of your little flat above Zonko's Shop, you both shared a shower to wash away the blood and pain that was cake along your skin and within your bones.

"Marry me," Oliver pleaded against your lips as you two kissed under the showerhead that was splattering you with water, you both clinging onto each other with hopes of never letting the other go ever again.

"You know I will," You replied back as he then kissed him deeply, letting the wat run cold along your skin.

It's been three years of marriage and building your new life together, and those three years have been nothing but bliss and growth for both Oliver and yourself.

"Come on, Oliver! Why are we back in this neighborhood?" You had, knowing fully well Oliver was not going to tell you instantly and your patience was going to be thinned very soon.

"Ah, here we are!"

Down a hill, nestled near a small riverbed that would lead back to the muggle town where you and Olvier apparated, there was a small little cottage that was perched in front of some tall birch trees and with a field of wildflowers along the front near the dusty path. It was very small, just one front door was seen and two windows in the front on the first floor and one on the second floor, a stone chimney was poking out from the sides with vines along the corner of the cottage, slinging to the walls as it descending into the earth.

"Do ya like it?" Oliver asked you as he was standing a bit behind you, waiting for your answer as you were scanning the small but cute house.

"The cottage? It's lovely, Oli. But I don't understand....does someone live here?" You asked turning around at him and seeing him give you a knowing look. You knew that look very well, dating Oliver Wood for several years and flying with him on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team gave you enough time to read his mannerisms and facial expressions. So you knew when he was angry, contemplating, or simply having an idea, from just a simple look. This was one of those times.

"Aye, someone does," he replied, taking in a long breath. It looked like he was trying to psych himself up for the next thing he was about to tell you. What he did say though, shocked you:

"We do,"

You thought you heard him wrong, maybe your mind was playing tricks on you and making you think you heard something completely different from him. Yet those two words, so short and meaningless, shook your core as your eyes went wide and your stance was stiff as aboard.

"Oliver?" You asked his name, blinking a few times. Oliver simply reached into his jacket pocket, taking out an envelope that seemed thick and well-used as he held it in both of his hands.

"Do you remember the promise I made ya? Back when we were plannin' our wedding" He asked, you slowly nodding your head as he took a few steps over you, "I told ya I would get us a home to live in, to grow old in, and to maybe in the future...when we're both ready....raise our kids in. I intended to make sure I followed through with my promise, luv."

"You....you got us this house?" You asked in a gasp, Oliver clearing his throat as he handed you the envelope. You took out the paperwork rapidly, reading over to see it was a deed to the home and all the signatures were there in place, apart from yours next to Oliver's that was already inked on the paper.

"It's not final until ya signed it, since I want us to be equal in this decision and all," He explained as he was watching your eyes dart back and forth while you were reading the fine print, "Look, it's a bit of a fiver upper. But the Weasleys and Lovegoods volunteered coming to help us on the weekends, Luna Lovegood wants us to put in a garden for the rabbits since apparently, they're amazin' pets. My Da wants to help too, but if you don't wanna do it then we don't have--"

You silenced him with a deep and enduring kiss, letting the deed fall to the grassy floor as Oliver wrapped his arms around you.

Oliver did a lot of crazy things in the past, before and after you got together. He was reckless at times and his choices would sometimes have you scratch your head. However, his heart was always in the right place. You loved his heart, how it was molding around yours in no time and was never willing to release you. When he fought for something, he fought hard. When he cried, he wept.

Most importantly, when he loved you, he loved you with all of him.

You pulled away from the kiss and stared at him directly into his brown eyes which were in shock from the kiss you planted on his lips.

"I never thought I could love you any more than I do now," You said with a gasp, seeing his smile come back on his face, "This might be the most reckless decision you have ever met since we got married, but it's the most romantic too."

"Now I know where the bar has been raised, eh?" he asked in a coy tone, you laughing as he held you close and kissed your cheeks.

"Of course, and you have fulfilled your promise and more," You reassure him in his ear while you two hug in front of your new home

One month later, long days of construction and repairs later, you both stepped foot into your new home holding hands and a bright future promise. The first thing you did was invited your new neighbors and old friends for a large dinner together. It was a great night filled with laughs and shared memories, tender moments of remembering and recognizing those you lost, and hopes for the future that was yet to come.

When Weasleys, Lovegoods, and Diggorys all left for the night, you and Oliver turned in and curled up together in your bed at your new cottage, letting the window stay open to hear the frogs croak through the night and have your dreams be filled with wonder and happiness.

The End.

Tagged - @a-lumos-in-the-nox

#oliver wood x female reader #oliver wood prompts #oliver wood fanfiction #oliver wood x reader #oliver wood #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #hp fic #hp fanfic

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rocketturtle4 · 10 months

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Make it Right 1&2: It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it – my reflection on the show as a newbie.

In brief: I am attempting to understand how Thai BL has changed, and just generally catch up, by watching ABL’s understand the history of Thai bl list on the Thai master post. I’m more interested in the growth and change of shows and characters (and tropes) than the tracking of different actors/directors, although I enjoy reading about those things. I am concurrently understanding the history of all BL by watching the Foundation Syllabus lists as well. Not everything has been or will be reviewed. These are my own thoughts, I am not expecting everyone or even anyone to agree.

Also, the only Thai BL I have watched older than 2019 were the earlier parts of those lists (Love of Siam, Love Sick 1 & 2 (BL cut) and SOTUS, SOTUS S + Our Skyy). I have only seen about a dozen younger ones, hency why I am watching these lists. Everything is fairly new.

The Good

This main story, about boys falling in love and leaning into those relationships in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of reality but instead shows what life might look like if young men leaned in rather than out, was GREAT. @bengiyo I really appreciated this lense.

I absolutely want to start here because the relationships of Frame&Book, Tee&Fuse, Yok&Mo and even Rottung&Nine were exciting and engaging stories told across one or both seasons. They were old with a meaningful rawness that @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles both discuss in their posts about Make It Right 1 & 2. The characters journeys and choices felt real to a world where men aren't as forced away from each other and themselves by societal and peer pressure.

I went in mentally prepared for some of the biggest issues I’d seen mentioned (general cringeyness, alcohol-induced sex, arguably non-consensual sex, and for the second season, depression and suicide). I had skimmed @waitmyturtles post about season 1 and @lurkingshan's post about season 1, and I was looking forward to the show

Some highlights:

The friendships (I absolutely LOVE boys who are besties with some boys and in love with others. The idea that you can’t be friends with members of the genders you’re attracted to is dumb. The idea that boys shouldn’t support each other and talk about their lives with each other is dumb. I love that this show and others are repping it for genuine and meaningful friendhsips.)

The main relationships especially Frame&Book. (see @lurkinshan’s post about season 2 in particular for excellent recaps, I’m not going to go into details).

Actual quotes I sent to @waitmyturtles while watching:

Frame just told Book that he's a beautiful star whether far away or up close and I'm ACTUALLY DYING FROM THE SWEETNESS

Tee set a ringtone just for Fuse RIP Myself

Tee just CHECKED WITH HIS BOYFRIEND BEFORE CALLING JEAN HIS GIRLFRIEND. My man, how obvious can one be!

Frame: if I'm going to open my heart, I want it to be with you, Me: 💀

Tee and Fuse just EXCHANGED METAPHORICAL HEARTS.

You get the idea

Ohm (that’s it that’s the highlight)

Fuse’s chaotic bi-ness. You kind of want to shake him by the middle of season 2, but it’s also just so fun to watch.

The Struggle

What I wasn’t prepared for, was how much I had to work to love this show.

Frequently throughout season 1, and the first half of season 2, I had to keep asking myself:

Why am I uncomfortable? Why am I uncomfortable? Why am I uncomfortable?

And sometimes, it took multiple episodes of discomfort to pinpoint (one of the multiple) reasons I was cringing. It actually got more challenging as I watched, because I’d find a reason, reflect, reframe my thinking (or modify how I watched the show) and get back into it, only to knock into a wall of discomfort again. It was similar to the struggle you might have beginning a good show where something about the start doesn’t quite gel, but over and over and over again.

Investment

investment

off.

Investment

investment

off.

Rinse and repeat.

FRUSTRATING.

(I literally wandered off between episodes 6 & 7 of MIR 2 to go watch all of What Did You Eat Yesterday (before watching tokyo in april is...)(twas great) just to get a break. Then I read some season 2 recaps from @lurkingshan here and @waitmyturtles here and decided that yes, it was worth the effort) - the last 5 or s episodes were totally worth it FYI

So here are some things I struggled with:

(In writing this reflection, I’ve found some had intertwined or central causes I didn’t notice at the time, so hopefully this makes sense.)

Frame’s overt casualness towards sex (Thinking reframed after S1 Episode 6 I think)

Frame initially felt very predatory to my teenage conditioning. I already made a post about it. It got better after episode 6, but I don’t know if that was because I fixed my brain or if Fuse became less overtly sexual since he started pursuing Book.

(Side note, even before I figured out the problem, I was so pleased with his ability to talk about sex with a medical professional in S1 Ep5, and that was a weird discordance in my brain because the reason Frame was comfortable talking about the issue caused by sex, is because he was comfortable having and talking about sex. Whereas, in my experience, there is this expectation that teenagers (and adults) should be comfortable having these conversations regardless of their experience or comfort with sex in other contexts. Which you should be able to talk to a doctor but you can't just switch tracks in your brain so easily.)

I thought I hated all the girls on the show (I was wrong, but that was my original conclusion)

it was this point that caused me the longest discomfort because WHY? What was I reacting to? Jean was meh, Jiang (Fuse’s sister) was fine (this was pre-introduction of Jean’s not a bestie and Tee’s Mum). Christina was great. What was I reacting to??

It turns out that it’s because both Lily and Yok’s mum are adult women acting in ways that felt predatory to me. I actively hated the show anytime one of them appeared on screen, and that was not a fun emotional response to have.

Lily: I am not sure how old this character was supposed to be, but she’s not in school, and she was tricking Wit into giving her his number and then seemed to be stalking him.

Yok’s mum: She comes across a random teenage girl (who she knows NOTHING ABOUT) and approaches her to PAY HER TO SEDUCE HER SON.

Honestly, Yok’s mum was the worst since Lilly was barely in it. The weird storyline with Wit in the second season also felt very odd. Plus, I found it super confusing that she was this dictating overbearing parent and yet when she was injured, Yok just casually started ordering her to stay home and have Wit take care of her, and she just…agreed (am I missing something?)

Jean: To be honest, she didn’t bother me nearly as much. She was a manipulative teenager who wanted the cool older boyfriend while keeping her nice safe boy on the hook, classic 1-dimensional teenage girl, easy to ignore.

I have no idea what happened with Lily or Yok’s mum in the latter part of season 2. I started actively skipping whenever they appeared on the screen. It did wonders for my engagement because hating anytime they appeared on the screen seriously impacted my viewing experience.

I’d have preferred they didn’t show up at all

The characters are young. (reframed mid season 2)

Shocking the teenagers in high school are, in fact, teenagers who’d have thunk it? But when it turned out Book had had sex two years earlier, my brain was like, WAIT, WHAT? How old are these characters right now? I’d been assuming about 16, which turned out to be accurate (they are in the 11th grade in s2, making them probably 16 at the start of season 2), which means Book’s sex tape is when he was 14. Now do I personally know people who became sexually active at 14? Yes. Does it kind of weird me out on a personal level because at 14 I hadn’t even hit puberty? ABSOLUTELY (seriously, people thought I was like…9).

A father in a story I once read (yes, it was a fanfic) said something like this to his underage son:

“Yes 18 is an arbitrary line, past the point many teenagers are ready, but isn’t it better for the one’s who aren’t ready to be protected by the law even at the cost of you having to wait?”

And my uh ?19? year old self latched onto that idea with a retrospectively concerning lack of nuance.

However, that idea is very black and white on one hand, and patently unrealistic on another. Understanding that teenagers, even teenagers as young as 14/15, like Book was with his first boyfriend, do in fact, have sex is something I still find kind of confusing because of how completely uninterested I was about such things in highschool. (Especially at 14). But that doesn’t make it less true or less okay. Teenagers can have healthy sex lives and that’s okay (is a mantra I repeated to myself…more than once)

Yes it is becoming clear to me that most of my hangups are apparently around sex, hence this reflection.

Sex workers being friends with teenagers and suggesting sex with them (early season 1) - can teenagers have casual sex? (reframed here, now)

I was surprised by this one because I had made a conscious effort to dismantle inherent biases I harboured towards sex workers as a concept some years ago, and it was something that didn’t bother me at all when I watched 3 Will Be Free in May of this year. (Yay for growth)

Yet, when an adult women suggested Frame come back to her apartment, my brain went: WHAT NO! (seriously, my brain when WHAT NO so often it was exhausting)

I think this underlies a lot of the discomfort I felt with points 1, 2, & 3 on this list. While I have little to no issue with ADULTS having casual sex, Teenagers having casual sex, especially with Adults, is something that I’m not okay with being depicted (and I don’t mean consciously but unconsciously). Throw in some romantic feelings and I’m apparently fine (I love my age gap BL), but casual and that’s suddenly not okay?

I haven’t really settled on how I feel about this intellectually one way or another and the ambiguity of it all makes it hard to reframe this one properly. At what point does someone become an adult is not a question I’m suddenly going to be able to answer, especially because my personal experience of being a late bloomer biases me towards the older, the better. Also how I feel about it being depicted on TV is not the same as how I would feel about it in real life. However, the fact that (to my unconsciousness) it’s okay if romantic feelings are involved feels a little hypocritical. (If you click on the link @absolutebl talks about age gap issues in the context of Minato's laundromat (scroll down past epiosde 8, I had previously read this and it helped me when I was thinking this through)

I think this one comes from a place of some realism rather than exclusively sex-negative conditioning, which makes it harder to traverse. Adult’s brains are more developed, and an inherent power balance is involved when one party is relatively independent, and the other is not. I think I unconsciously believe romantic feelings reduce this power imbalance...not totally sure though.

The Crassness of it all (A constant and ongoing reframing of my brain)

Other things that made me cringe: (Shockingly these are largely about sex again)

Sex with strange women in the bathroom (Frame and Book early season 1) (also, they appeared to be adult women, sooo back to point 4)

Hooking up with strangers for sex (Frame and Book early season 1)

The forced sexual encounter (this one’s not on me) (Frame and Book early Season 1)

Lukmo and Yok exchanging numbers while taking dumps in the bathroom (early season 2)

Lukmo and Yok dream sex scene and actual sex scene (I don’t think this one is on me) (late season 2)

Boys watch porn in groups (do they actually this keeps coming up in shows?) (is there anything wrong with this if they do, other than how uncomfy it makes me to imagine…no)

These aren’t necessarily bad things, just things that made it harder for me to watch and that’s what I’m reflecting on so…

The inherent Misogyny

I had the exact same problem with Love Sick, so I wasn’t really fussed about this one. I just thought it was SO STUPID that Fuse was only able to justify breaking up with Jean after she’d been a bad person. Like if she was a good person, he would have to stay with her BECAUSE SHE’S A HELPLESS GIRL.

This was just adding insult to injury.

But real talk, Het relationships ARE often framed this way and it didn’t feel unrealistic to how boys may actually think/feel/have been taught so I wasn’t really mad about it specifically.

Why have I shared all this?

Because I think some people may struggle with Make It Right for more ingrained and complicated reasons than they realise. The obvious answers of non-consent, ‘bad’ humour and general messiness are right there as perfectly acceptable reasons not to watch.

Yet I prepared for that going in and I still had a really hard time watching this show.

I've watched higher heat BLs before, I'm not really sure why this one was so different. @lurkingshan comments on the rawness of the show in her post about season 2, maybe that's part of it? It felt less removed from my life I suppose, previous TV genres I have watched are basically fantasy and anime so I don't tend to watch shows with a strong sense of realism. Perhaps thiis one hit me more because it felt more real?

My hangups aren’t anybody else’s, but there is more societal pressure on girls to be chaste, to be demur, to be careful or wary of sex, at least in Christian cultures (Sex Negativity, it’s not fun). I already knew I internalised those messages more than most teenagers (Something I very much struggled with growing up is that young people are often taught with extreme messaging because ‘it’s the only way to get though to them’ and I’m a very literal person and I was very naïve on top of that so it tended to “affect me more than it was supposed to” (to quote an actual conversation I had with my mum)). (Example of this in a different context was learning about the dangers of alcohol when I was 12 and I went home and cried to my 19 year old brother because I thought he’d die from the occasional parties he went to…it sounds crazy but I was distraught).

But I think an argument could be made for less strong reactions to some of these same problems, negatively affecting the viewing experience for other people, especially a majority audience of young women. I think part of the reason I could identify the causes of my discomfort were because they were so strong. A Low-level buzz of ‘uhh, I don’t really like this’ is much less likely to make someone go: okay, but why?

(Side note, this has caused me to realise how much I haven’t reacted to sex negativity in shows like UWMA, I read about it as a concept later and thought: Oh, yeah, that is bad, but I did not even notice it while I was watching and I did not even notice that my lack of noticing might be a problem until now so…yeah…not good)

Final Thoughts: What did I think of Make It Right?

I adored the relationships.

I loved the friendships.

I enjoyed how much it forced me to reflect on my ingrained biases. It was growth and learning, sometimes more than I wanted, but growing is something I want to keep doing for the rest of my life.

But it was hard work.

Overall, I do recommend it, but only if you’re prepared to think about yourself, your feelings, the WHY of it all while you watch.

(also, you might just not like it for more obvious reasons and that’s okay too).

Rating: Season 1 76%, Season 2 79% Middling Recommendations

Next up: Love by Chance (Thai List)

Or: Wish You (Korea) (FS)

Savvy?

#make it right #make it right 2 #long post #rturts is wondering #rocketturtle4 catches up #Rocket4Reviews

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australet789 · 1 year

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I’m kinda sad that Kagami still has feelings for Adrien, but then again I understand feelings don’t just GO away. But I really want to see better for her in the aspect that she is able to move on ( idc if she finds someone new or not, just for her to be able to let go of her feelings) and be able to not have any regrets later on. It feels like she’s becoming a Natalie 2.0 and I don’t want that for her.

I understand she can be happy and still have feelings, but I just don’t want them to burden her shoulders later on and I feel like if doesn’t let go, that’ll happen

I personally dont think she is Nathalie 2.0.

Because Kagami already prioritizes Marinette over Adrien

She has "romantic" feelings for Adrien (im still unsure but that's a personal bias), mostly because she thought he was like her (sheltered, used by their parents) and they could make a good match because of it. But that's not how feelings work. "Opposite atracts" isnt a rule, same as "we have common things, therefore we should be a couple".

Remember that Kagami gets her romatic advices from mangas :v (even if it worked once xD)

And again, so far, it has been because of Marinette that Kagami has become better, and their friendhip means a lot to Kagami. Heck in the next episode she is goint to get akumatized because Lila is making her doubt of Marinette again. And we know in Emotion that Kagami woudn't accept a world in with Marinette doesnt live in.

And besides, Adrien isnt Gabriel, so i think Kagami is going to be fine and is going to protect her friendhsip with Mari at all costs.

#ask #anonymous #ml #ml spoilers #ml season 5 #ml emotion #ml perfection #ml protection #kagami tsurugi #my bias is that i think kagami has a crush on mari xD #but i also know that having a good friend is so rare and i would protect it as fiercely

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omarfor-orchestra · 2 years

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#tfw imen siar drops her first single on march 18th and i shared the story on my ig and she answered me bc she remembers me #hold on i gotta cry about lost friendhsips again #i mean we were literally 5 years old!#and we remember each other!#i don't even want to like... talk to her because I don't want her to think I'm doing it bc she's famous or something #i genuinely love her she's stunning and her voice oh my god #so anyway save the date march 18th new song 'Lonely People' go support Imen Siar NOW

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italianeyes · 2 years

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my heart is full of love again where's that post about that writer buying a little girl a replacement doll after she lost her favorite one and telling her that "love comes back to us in different ways"

#guys #folks #how do i even start this #ive been making so many new friends lately #new friends whose presence i actually feel comofrted by rather than initmidated #and its so nice #idek hwere to start like a past friendship of mine felt so suffocating almost #and i felt like ic ouldnt be myself and its taken me so long to get over #that not everyone is going to leave me bc that kinda shit breaks you #but anyways im still like learning and getting over that #but through all that like hardship and pain i meet someone new and they do somthing #that gives me hope in having fulfilling and long lasting and wonderful #new friendhsips again ?#like last night i went to a concert w one of my new friends right and we went back to my dorm after #and before he sat on my bed he was like 'should i spread a blanket?'#because of the ONE TIME he came over before and he rememebred that im insane about germs #and that i dont like when ppl sit on my bed in their outside clothes #and he rmemebered so many little things about me na dits so easy to have #a conversation with him and hes so like understadning and i dont have to overexplain #too much to make him understand things which is so nice #like i forgot what it felt like to be understood so easily and being known l #and people rmemebing the smallest things about you #and hes not the only one like other new friends rmemeber such small things #about me that i wouldnt consdier noteworthy that it just makes me feel so #like loved and understood and seen and at peace and at home and #it gives me hope that there are so many other people and friendhsips out there for me #like its just so nice man :)#and theres ppl whose energy just feels so comforting and peaceful to me and it feels amazing #bc ive only heard that im the one who exudes that kind of energy to new poeple #but to be finally feeling it and experiencing that same thing with other people? so beautiful and peceful dude

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sajdd · 3 years

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*the fire is roaring up again, bright and hot and will keep going for some time, still the golden lighted dusk casts rays exactly the same like not a second has yet passed*

The False Faced man took the Boy far away from anything he knew and made sure he was alone as he could make him. He stopped letters and told those who wanted to see the Boy that they were not wanted, the Boy was far too angry at being sent away to see them. I am all you have, he promised the Boy. I’ll help you I’m you friend, listen to me and it will be okay. No one misses you no one wants you, he lied.

The Boy wanted so desperatly for anyone else to come, to prove that the False Faced man wasnt the only one who cared... a few people did, here and there, but they just came to be told the Boy was okay, they didnt really want to hear how he was. Or at least thats what the Boy came to belive. The False Faced man was his only friend after all.

As far as the False Faced man was concerned the Boy was HIS and no one else’s now. A toy, a belonging. The False Faced man took things away from the Boy, things he worked hard to get so that the boy would stay helpless. After all a toy didnt need belongings, and the False Faced man wanted the Boy to need him. The last thing he needed was the Boy thinking he was indepentand. The Boy tried to hide things but the False Faced man always found them, and the more he hid the more the punsihement and the less the Boy was allowed to have at all.

The Boy was falling for it all, belived he was in the wrong for not listening. After all the False Faced man was only trying to help, right? He meant to tell the False Faced man about the last of the things he had, he really did. He meant to listen, he just didnt know the right time to admit it.

He waited too long.

The False Faced man found the last and most hidden things and was so angry. The boy tried to get a word in, to apologize, but the False Faced man wouldnt let him. You betrayed me I did everything to help you through this and yet you hid things, the false faced man condemed as he destroyed it.

He didnt stop there, he destoyed everything, everything the Boy had built. He set new rules the Boy had to follow.

The Boy tried to explain and apologize the whole time but why would the False Faced Man care what his toy had to say. I’m going to leave you to think about why you’ve done, the False Faced man condemned, you’ll be entirely alone until I come back, and then he left.

The Boy was so alone that night, that night with nothing left. He just wanted to sort things out and make sense of it all. The Boy sought perspective and built a spire as high as he could and looked down at it all, able to see all of it at once now from the heights.

It was raining probably, and if it wasn’t then it certainly should have been.

He looked down at everything. Rubble now. There was nothing. No matter what he did he couldn’t have anything.

The False Faced man was his friend, wasn’t he? But… friends didn’t do this did they? But his closest friend had cast him out so maybe they did… Yes the Man was his firned, no he wasnt. Friends didnt do this, but the Boy had broken the rules. He deserved it, no he didnt, yes he did. He broke the rules and this was his punsihment. He should have listened he shouldnt have hid things.

Did he deserve this?

No, NO HE DIDNT. HE DIDNT DESERVE THIS.

The ground called to him. Jump, said his traitorous heart. There was nothing left so maybe he shouldn’t be left either. He could take the False Faced man's plaything away from him. Just take a step.

That sounded an awful lot like giving up. The Boy never liked giving up. He just wanted to stop being hurt. The False Faced man was hurting him, he didnt want to be hurt anymore. He wanted to take it all back and if friendship wouldnt help him, if he couldnt count on friendhsip. If all that was a lie then he'd let anger fuel him. He’d get his Freedom back, he WOULD. And NO ONE would take it again.

He retook control of his destiny and lept. Not towards the rubble of his pain but into icey sea water, then he ran. Away from where he was trapped and hurt, to somewhere he could begin to take back what was his. He wouldn’t let the False Faced man win. He'd take it all back and no one would hurt or control him again.

-Violets Campfire

PAIN. AGONY EVEN.

this whole thing was amazing but the last few paragraphs destroyed me <//3

we as a community do not talk enough about That Scene from exile arc, and not in a "thats so awful and tragic that he would consider suicide" but in a "its so heartbreaking that he had noone to help him but im glad he managed to get himself out of there and stop himself" because the harsh reality is that sometimes.. we're alone. sometimes there isnt anyone to help drag us out from that dark place and all we can do is stand up on our own two legs and keep walking

i think thats what really gets me about c!tommy, the fact that despite falling down so many times, hitting absolute rock bottom, he still hopes, he still tries, he still loves. and as much as i wish he didnt have to, he will fight for that happy ending. and he will get it.

#tommyinnit #c!tommy #dream smp #dreamwastaken #c!dream #violets campfire

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suckishima · 4 years

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hq!! post-time skip fanart/fanfics that i can’t wait to (hopefully) see more of in the coming months now that the series has been over for a month or so:

Nishinoya and Asahi traveling abroad

Yamaguchi (and Yachi and Akiteru too tbh) attending Tsukishima’s games

Akaashi and Udai friendhsip/working dynamic

Kindaichi and Kunimi playing volleyball with Kageyama again

Iwaizumi chilling in Irvine (bonus points if he’s in contact with Oikawa)

Tsukishima, Koganegawa, Kyotani Frogs/volleyball/teammate dynamics

Just more of Yaku laughing about Lev being a model

Kageyama making more commercials

Iwaizumi meeting up with Oikawa at the Olympics

Anything involving Bokuto and Akaashi keeping in contact (bonus points if Bokuto helps Akaashi with the new sports manga he’s editing for Udai)

Osamu and Kita’s still thriving business relationship

Literally anything and everything involving some or everyone at the Olympic Village

Ushijima and Tendou’s continued adventures as Best Friends

and tbh there’s so many more things that i just couldn’t think of right now. but wow, even though the series is over i feel like there’s so much potential to play around with stuff that was teased and i KNOW we’re gonna be getting more quality content. feel free to add to the list!

#the potentiallll #tbh i have fic ideas for a few of these but some of them are looooooong and idk if i'll really get around to it #i just love this series so much #all of these potential scenes live in my head rent free #hq!!#hq #haikyu!!#hq!! spoilers #hq!! manga spoilers #x

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yusuke-of-valla · 5 years

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Yusuke Week Day 1: Love/Friendhsip

Shukita

Soulmate AU + Velvet Room Yusuke

TW: temporary character death

AO3

The inmate has a mark on his forearm that’s just barely visible sometimes when he holds onto the bars of his cell.

It’s a small cluster of stars that sits right above his pulse point on his left arm. There’s nothing particularly special about them, yet still Clerval can’t help feeling compelled to draw it.

The inmate catches a glimpse of his sketches and fixes him with a gaze that makes him feel uncomfortable.

“Why are you drawing this?” the inmate asks.

Clerval, attempting to seem nonchalant, shrugs. “I simply saw your tattoo and liked the design.”

The inmate’s shoulders drop. “Oh.” He rolls up his sleeve and stares at it. “It’s not a tattoo, it’s a soulmark.”

“Ah, well congratulations. What are they like?” If he’s being honest, the thought of the inmate being in a relationship causes Clerval’s stomach to churn, even if he’s not sure why.

The inmate doesn’t respond for a long while. “We met a few months ago, in May. He was a bit of a jerk at first,” the inmate laughs, “but we started to hang out more and somehow he became one of the most important people in my life. Then the soulmarks came in and I thought we’d have a future but…”

Ren’s all that matters.

“I’m sorry.” Clerval says.

“It was my fault. I should have called it for the day, but it was just one more request.”

Clerval can’t resist the urge to reach out and comfort the inmate.

The inmate reacts by grabbing onto the painter’s wrist.

Clerval almost calls his sisters, but something in the inmate’s eyes stops him.

“Sorry, can I just- I need to see something.” The inmate rolls up the Clerval’s sleeve until a cluster of stars can be seen on his left wrist.

Clerval frowns. Had that always been there?

“Yusuke.” The inmate breathes, looking as though he’s about to cry.

Clerval jerks his arm back. He feels like he’s going to be sick.

Ah well, I can’t risk you getting in the way.

Clerval clutches his head.

“Yusuke,” the inmate says again, more firmly this time. “ Please if that’s you, you have to remember.”

Yusuke feels the tears welling up. He shouldn’t be crying, he doesn’t want Ren to be sad. But still, Yusuke can’t help it.

It’s selfish, but he wanted to see this through. He finds himself pleading with God, Satan, someone, anyone to let him stay by his beloved’s side.

“I think it’s time for you to go.” Clerval says. Ren’s crying now, but he nods.

“Everything alright?” the master calls.

“Of course.”

The master’s face doesn’t change.

“Justine, Caroline, would you leave us alone for a moment?”

***

Before he even opens his eyes, Yusuke feels a cloying sense of wrongness about his surroundings.

“I can tell you’re awake.”

Yusuke opens his eyes, and finds himself is room practically oozing a deep blue from every crevice.

The person who spoke is a small man hunched over a desk with bulging eyes and a large nose.

“What is this place?” Yusuke asks.

“This is my Velvet Room.”

“The place Ren goes to fuse new personas?”

“That is correct. This room is inexorably linked to it’s guest, just as you are.”

Instinctively, Yusuke reaches down and rubs the soulmark on his left wrist.

“How did I get here?” He asks.

The man– Igor, Yusuke supposes based on what Ren’s said– chuckles. “It is quite the unusual occurrence. The how’s don’t matter though. I’d like to make you a deal.”

“A deal?”

“You provide the inmate with a specific service, and you will continue to do so.”

Yusuke’s heart leaps into his throat. He can see Ren again?

“In exchange, you will obey my orders without question.”

Yusuke bites his lip. Should he trust this man? Ren hadn’t mentioned Igor much, but he seemingly didn’t like him. And if this room was tied to Ren’s heart, what was this sense that everything was off?

“Will you tell me more about this place? You can’t expect me to take such a deal with so little information.”

Igor laughs again, “no, I just hoped this might be simple. Ah well, I can’t risk you getting in the way.” At that, Igor’s eyes started to glow red.

Out of the corner of his vision, Yusuke could see a small butterfly telling him to run.

***

“Hello, my name is Clerval,” he says as soon as the inmate arrives. He stares at Clerval, then turns to the master and glares.

“It’s nice to meet you?” Clerval says, confused.

“Yeah, it’s… nice to meet you too.”

As Clerval explains his services to the inmate, he catches a glimpse of a small mark on the inmate’s left arm.

Distantly, Clerval wonders what it is.

#yusukeweek2019 #yusuke kitagawa #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #shukita #persona 5 #ficlet #alto writes

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gossipchii · 5 years

Text

Of balls and other dramas

FF.net link: here

Characters: Yagami Taichi and Takenouchi Sora

Pairing: (friendly) Taiora

Words: 2200+

Notes: I hadn’t seen any friendship Taioras in a whiiilleeeee, and I missed reading about them, so since tri. failed misserably to feed me with Taiora friendhsip content, I decided to write it myself. I just hope it doesn’t suck.

Enjoy!

“What do you mean you joined baseball?” Sora had just finished her tennis practice when a couple of guys from the soccer team practically begged her to talk to Taichi, because he suddenly decided to change paths.

It had been over two years since Sora herself changed the soccer ball for a small and yellow tennis ball. She could still hear Taichi’s begging for her to change her mind when she approached him to tell him about her new passion, and how she cried like she had never cried before in front of her best friend. Yet there they were again, while feeling her whole body experienced a Déjà vu. Of course, Taichi was not crying, but the whole confusion and exact same feeling was still there.

“I guess news fly fast,” it felt as if they were in another dimension, because Taichi was so casually holding a baseball bat, his hair as messy as ever yet it felt so… wrong. “But yeah, I guess I did join baseball.”

Sora looked even offended. It was their thing to walk home after training, sometimes joined by Yamato if he happened to stay in school for band practice. And there she was, in front of the baseball field looking at Taichi, except that was not Taichi, that was an alien who had come up to steal Taichi’s identity because he suddenly liked… baseball.

“What is this all about? Did you get in a fight with coach Nakamura? Did you lose another bet with Koushiro?” Taichi had started to walk the way they used to walk every week day after practice, as if nothing had changed. Except, it all had.

“Why must this have something to do with someone else? What if I just wanted to try something different?” Taichi stopped walking out of sudden, making Sora crash straight into his back. Maybe all the brunette really wanted was to increase his muscular arms, she thought.

“But you love soccer! Plus, it’s not even tryout season.” The redhead had so much in her head, she even felt as if she was the one changing hobby once again. “I’m just trying to understand, you didn’t even tell me a thing, heck, not even hinted a thing! And you’re the worst secret keeping person I know!”

They were standing in the corner of a street, their fellow classmates, and even random people were just starring at their now heated conversation. Sora was kind of an expert at keeping her cool when it came to deep conversations, while Taichi was the one who got way too passionate, not the other way around. Yet another proof that this was not Taichi, and something must have gone wrong.

“I told you, Sora,” the red light turned into green, which meant they could cross the street now. Their steps, usually completely in sync, perhaps for all those walks they had taken since they were younger, felt off. “I wanted to try something different.”

“But…,” they were in front of Taichi’s apartment building, which was slightly closer to school than Sora’s. “You love soccer…”

“So did you.” He smiled, yet he felt empty. Sora’s heart ached. “And I believe you’re the least person who could judge me for wanting to try something different,” his grimace felt even sarcastic. Sora was trying to remember if she had done something recently to make him mad at her, but her mind went blank.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” His shape disappeared after the doors closed behind him, leaving Sora lightheaded.

“He didn’t tell you either?” Yamato had the custom to go to Sora’s for dinner at least three times a week. They didn’t specifically keep count of them, but it was part of their routine, even if they didn’t notice.

“Not a thing,” Yamato was laying down on Sora’s couch, staring at his girlfriend, who couldn’t stop walking from one side to another of her living room.

“I called Koushiro right before you got here, and he had no idea either.” She finally sat down next to Ishida. Yamato could count down the times Sora looked like she had lost control with just a single hand, and this was one of them. He had never completely understood Sora and Taichi’s friendship, and to him it was funny whenever someone assumed him and Taichi were best friends. Had they completely ignored the obvious affection those two had for each other?

“I’m just worried,” she looked at him, her eyes crystallized. “He states he’s just trying something new, but this was so sudden… I spoke with Mr. Nakamura and he’s just as confused as everyone else, Taichi never told him a thing.”

“What are you thinking?” Her head fell slowly into his shoulder, and he carefully caressed her hair.

“I just don’t believe he’s trying something new, I believe this goes deeper. He had never even cared about baseball- even you can name more players from the national team!” Yamato chuckled. It was true he was not the big sports aficionado as his girlfriend or Taichi were, but baseball was something he enjoyed.

“Takeru told me Hikari said that he woke up quite early this morning. I mean, early for Taichi, and he went biking for an hour.” Yamato had not tried to talk with the fuzzy haired, he knew he wouldn’t cooperate if he felt overwhelmed.

“I think I’ll catch him after practice on Monday,” she sighed, looking up to find blue eyes. “And ask him if he wants to go eat ramen, you know he can’t resist. You’re invited too if you want,” her smile was soft, yet Yamato knew he wasn’t really invited. He laughed it off.

“I’d rather pass, there’s no way I can eat ramen next to Taichi anymore,” his eyes rolled, and just as they focused back on his girlfriend she was wearing a smile that just meant one thing.

“Knife of Ramen,” and he pushed her away as her laughter filled the room.

Sora waited leaning herself against the wall. Baseball practice, unlike soccer, finished half an hour after her tennis practice, so she had to wait for him. She was nervous for some reason, even insisting Yamato to join them once again, but the blonde refused to go. She knew damn well that this conversation was something that she had to have with Taichi, and only with Taichi. Any other add to the equation could change her whole plan.

Maybe Sora had even quite practiced what she wanted to say in front of the mirror. Maybe.

The whole school had not stopped talking about Taichi’s sudden decision to join the baseball team. It wasn’t like they weren’t used to be the center of attention, but it was usually regarding fighting Digital Monsters, not banalities. Yet she guessed it was a slow time in school, or something.

Brown, bouncing hair caught her attention, and she couldn’t deny how funny her best friend looked wearing the typical baseball uniform.

“Taichi!” He turned around, looking genuinely surprised to see her there.

“Didn’t think you’d still be here,” he smiled, walking back to her. “Don’t you have Ikebana with your mom tonight?” And she did. Every Monday Sora would help her mom with her Ikebana cases, but she had explained Toshiko how much she needed to talk to Taichi, and if there was something her mom respected, was friendship.

“Change of plans,” they both started walking towards the exit of their school, except Sora stopped him when he turned to the direction of their homes. “I was actually expecting you’d accept having ramen with me today? Like the old times?”

He didn’t reply for what felt an eternity to the redhead, Taichi’s eyes lingering between the corner of the street and her friend.

“You know I can’t say no to ramen,” and Sora felt relieved, as they both walked towards their go-to ramen place.

“It’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” they were both laughing as if there had never been tension to begin with. Sora decided it was best to evade baseball if she wanted to have a normal conversation with Taichi. He could really be obstinate.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, it’s the perfect combination between sweet and sour!” They really were having conversation about food while they were eating. That’s how their friendship worked, they could talk about anything, or so Sora hoped.

“You’re implying chocolate with chicken is a good idea and I just don’t see it,” they had been in the restaurant for over an hour, most of the kids that went to the same spot after school had already left, so Sora guessed it was time to get serious. “So… you’ve been quite the conversation topic for the last few days.”

“Aren’t we always, though?” He immediately tensed his shoulders, Sora took a deep breath.

“You know what I mean… I’ve heard you’re quite good, too.”

“Yes, well, I guess sports are my thing.”

“They really miss you on the soccer team, you know.” And she wasn’t just talking. The past weekend they had their worst game in months.

“They’ll get over it, I’m sure.”

“I’m not here to judge you,” she held his hands, forcing him to look at her in the eyes. Sora had only had a few serious conversation with Taichi before, and one of them had been right before she asked Yamato out. She knew it wasn’t easy for Taichi to talk about his feelings, but she had to try. Otherwise, no one else would. “I just want to understand what’s behind this decision.”

“It’s just,” he broke off Sora’s grip, staring out at the window. After staying silent for the longest thirty seconds, he kept talking. “I didn’t want to be only associated to soccer, you know? And I don’t even care about others, I mean me. What if one day I wake up and I’m forty, and I can’t play soccer anymore because my knees are too weak? And then I find out I’m nothing, nothing else makes me feel as passionate as chasing a damn ball!”

Sora knew he didn’t mean to yell at her, and she could feel his despair. They were the only ones left in the restaurant, and she appreciated the waitresses had hidden in the kitchen.

“I don’t know who I am or what I want to do in the future, and it’s eating me inside. I’ve tried so hard to ignore it but… I can’t do it anymore.”

“I really wish you could see yourself throughout anyone else’s eyes,” Taichi still wasn’t looking back at her, but from his last sentence Sora knew he was about to break down crying. “The way you deliver yourself to anyone, no matter if you know them or not.”

“Sometimes I see yourself helping someone and you don’t even notice. Like, you always hold the door to every person, no matter if you’ve been doing that for over five minutes and the movie has already started,” he chuckled, what a specific example had Sora chosen. “Remember that time you refused to go to bed because Hikari was feeling ill? Or how you took six trains in order to get across town because that’s where they were selling that Videogame Koushiro wanted so badly?”

“Or that time you played Jou’s patient for hours just because he wanted to practice before he entered Junior High, even if we all knew he was still too young to be anywhere near to be a doctor at such age!”

“I kind of did it because he was giving me free candy…” he finally looked back at his best friend, feeling happier than he had felt in over a week.

“You get the point,” she rolled her eyes, Taichi could always manage to find a way to ruin the emotional moments. “And don’t think you’d get away without me mentioning that time I was so sad because mom was late home again and I didn’t have anything to eat, so you decided you’d play Master Chef and cook something for me.”

“Your mom was originally so mad at how much of a mess we made but couldn’t help to calm down after she saw us eating so calmly while watching…” he bit his lower lip, Sora knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Japan playing at the World Cup.”

“They lost, I remember I had to calm you down because you were so disappointed.”

“You’re really the best friend, even to people you don’t know. We don’t associate you with soccer, we associate you with your kindness and courage to step up for whoever needs your help.” The staff at the restaurant had just finished cleaning everything up, but still didn’t tell them a thing, which Sora paid with a smile.

“I understand you wanted to try something different, but I would hate to see you regretting this. I mean, you don’t have much left of playing with these guys and they really miss you.”

“They really suck without me, too.”

“Taichi!” She hit his shoulder slowly, relieved to see his eyes shine again.

“Thank you, Sora. Really.” He stood up from the table to approach his best friend and wrapped his arms around her before she could even react.

“You’ll always have me, you know it,” maybe he knew it, but she wanted to make sure he wouldn’t forget it.

“Does that mean you’ll try the chicken with chocolate?”

“Absolutely not!” And that’s how Taichi got to ruin their emotional moment again.

That night Yagami called coach Nakamura to let him know he had been an idiot and he wanted to get back with the team, feeling complete once again.

#taiora #taichi yagami #yagami taichi #sora takenouchi #takenouchi sora #digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure tri #fanfic #fanfiction

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star-killer89 · 6 years

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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - (On the) Road to Friendship *Opinions*

Two best friends being alone on a tour to a distant place on a looooong trip... just the two of them.... doing friends stuff..... things that good friends do all the time..... like butt stuff or something....

As I said in the final part of my ‘The End in Friend’ review, having these two episodes air so close to each other really shows how much they contradicting each other.

On one hand (hoof?) we had two friends on the brink of ending their friendhsip because of a quarrel they previously had and, while being on a (sort of) ‘trip together’, they understood new things about each other that not only brought them close once again, but maybe even strenghten their friendship.

With this episode, on the contrary, we had two friends going on a trip together with the best of intentions to get the best from this experience and enjoy each other’s company... only to be annoyed but the tiniest flaws each of them had, to the point of almost ending their friendship.

Ignoring the fact that having 2 unicorns performing a magic show when at least a third of the audiance, being composed of magic users themselves, could figure out how their tricks were made (spoiler warning: it’s magic!) the weirdest thing of this episode was that Saddle Arabia unicorn constantly stalking Trixie and Starlight trying to trade his caravan for Trixie’s. Either there was something wrong with his caravan and he was trying to scam them, or he was into some sort of weird fetish involving Trixie’s caravan, neither of those options being acceptable ones for him wanting so bad to trade such a luxory possession for an old and beaten-up one.

Aside from those two points, this was a great episode, full of funny moments and interactions between the two protagonists. Seeing how the relationship with two former villains (well, one villain and one antagonist) is evolving with each new episode focused on them is really entertaining and shows how much they’re a good match as friends. Hell, they even started to sing a song about how much they’re feeling good about taking this trip together (despite the fact they had just finished mocking Twilight and her friends a mere TV-convenient 2 seconds before about the fact they would have probably begun to sing a song!)

Thanks to Starlight, Trixie got so much more capable in performing her shows even Cadance and Twilight (the one pony who still had doubts about Trixie changing her life) got impressed (also, once again, they’re both alicorns....3 of them counting Flurry.... how can they be amazed by simple tricks???) and thanks to Trixie, Starlight is starting to open up to other ponies and feel less awkward when interacting with strangers. Friends constantly improving each other just by being there for one another, am I right?

Final Verdict: 7/10. A really fun episode that truly showed how much of a good couple of friends Starlight and Trixie are!

Next Episode: Speaking of bonding, we’ll have another Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash episode, with the return of a long lost rival that, like Gilda, had to wait waaaaay too many episodes before being seen again. Let’s see if things will go as good as it did in ‘The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone’.

#My Little Pony #Friendship is Magic #Road to Friendship #season 8 #spoiler #spoilers #Starlight Glimmer #Trixie Lulamoon #the great and powerful trixie

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exitrealtycentral · 3 years

Photo

Meet Ruben Vera, Realtor®

Ruben Vera

If you want a studly Tom Cruise look-alike agent, while I’d like to think I come close, that’s not me. If you’re looking for a smooth talker who drives up in the latest model Benz, wearing a custom tailored Brioni suit and Testoni leather shoes… that’s not me either. However, if you desire a real estate professional that genuinely cares about your needs and is known for hisexperience, honesty, and integrity – that’s me!

“Thousands of Realtors… only one Ruben.”

I’m is committed to making your real estate experience top knotch; whether your are new to buying or quite seasoned. Today’s challenging market requires your real estate professional to be savvy, strategic, and looking out for your best interest!!

Exit Realty Central

The truth is, I love what I do! I thoroughly enjoy helping my clients achieve their real estate goals. Since first time homebuyers, distressed homeowners, luxury buyers/sellers, investors, and retail sellers all have different needs, I focus on every client with individual care and attention. Allow me to combine my vast industry experience, professional & academic achievements, Internet savvy, and overall real estate know how, and put them all to work FOR YOU!

I find great fulfillment in serving my clients well. However, my greatest joy comes from being with my beautiful wife & three amazing kids, great friends & relatives, and knowing a loving God. Despite life’s unavoidable challenges and difficulties, I consider myself a blessed man.

PROFESSIONAL AFFILIATIONS

National Association of Realtors (NAR)

Virginia Association of Realtors (VAR)

Hampton Roads Realtors Association (HRRA)

Young Professionals Network (YPN)

TESTIMONIALS:

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“In a vast sea of available Realtors, there is one real estate professional that has earned my personal trust, respect, and friendhsip… Ruben Vera. He has my highest endorsement.” — Dr. Lynne Robbins (Williamsburg, VA)

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“Ruben provided us with tons of information that we will be able to use in the future.” —Janice Crosby (Norfolk, VA)

“I want to thank Ruben again for doing what other agents could not. We love our home and thanks to Ruben, the home buying process was nowhere near the nightmare I’d heard it was. I was pleasant, fun, fast, and wonderful. Thank you so much.” — Daniel & Jessica Gossett(Chesapeake, VA)

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Call Ruben to get started at 757-581-9058!

#Reup #Agents #realestate

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tentacledillydoo · 4 years

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I miss 2017, it was such a good year hhh things have only gotten worse since then .

I got along and interacted with a bunch of cool amazing people, had sm friends, large following on IG with sm supportive people who constantly interacted with my art. I had 2 really happy relationships and despite them ending badly i didnt know at the time so I was happy.

I had so much drama back then which isnt a good thing but things were just ..better. I had my hamilton friends, had to go through abandonment, a breakup, then meeting the Victorian Oc people, having to withdraw due to fear of abandoment. But most of the time I was . Happy. I got to see someone i dated at the time in person and I was happy. I had just moved back to the UK and i was happy. I enjoyed my art and i had fun drawing and posting.

Then 2018 started out as an actual fucking joke. I literally have never felt like i did back then and i hope i never do again. Wanted to kill myself already in January, tried to deal with a lot of bad stuff, then i had to deal with abandonment again which made me wanna disappear. Straight up wanted to end it all from January to about May. Friendhsips ended, feeling betrayed, having to force myself out of a relationship, doubting myself so bad, trying to get through my GCSES to get into college and then trying to get back on my feet again.

That summer i tried to better myself as a person, decided to start therapy (didnt last long because it just didnt work), tried to be more outspoken, friendlier, nicer, smarter, better at art, etc. It worked? My mindset that summer was not stable but it was slightly better than before.

The later half of 2018 was actually good, I met some of the best people Ive ever met, my friends Sid and Sof, who have stuck by my side and i cherish so so so fuckign much. I started college and i fucking did it, i talked to people and made friends. I ended up making new friends online too, and soon had a nice lil friend group. I met my girlfriend in october. Towards the end of the year I apologised to people i hurt, people i felt like i still had to say sorry to even if they didnt deserve it. I started talking to old friends again, it didnt last long before they got upset again but it was good.

2019 started out great but then turned into an even fatter joke. I asked my girlfriend out. Things seemed to be getting better for me and my mom, until February. Ma was gone, started getting intense panic attacks, had to move with my grandma, my brother had to go live with his dad. I felt so alone and upset. Didnt know anything about my ma for a month. I had to adapt to everything all over. In the summer i got to see my gf. Then i almost offed myself after an episode when i was completely alone during the holidays.

Mental health got fucking awful, couldnt take care of myself properly. Then oscar was gone. School started again and i got a sense of normalcy again until i couldnt go anymore because i coudlnt get out of bed. Had an aswesome time with my friends honestly, i love them so much. I made my gendercare appointment. Then i had a massive meltdown, everything started crumbling, started questioning myself, blah blah, blha. I had to come out all over, get comfortable being my real self.

And oh boy 2020! Started out okay i guess. I should be really happy. I got to see my dad after 2 years. I have an amazing group of friends who are so supportive and caring, who i cna talk to about anything, me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and 5 months today and shes honestly the most patient person. Im unstable as fuck and i never know what im doing or what i want but shes still here and thats enough.

And yet i am just sitting here! The current situation sucks but ive been saying it since January, that i knew where i was headed and got so so many fucking panic attacks and started getting my shit sorted that when it actually hit i couldnt feel. Shit. And now im just sorta numb and the days are kinda blending in together and i-

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wulfrann · 4 years

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As you watch the snow fall, ch 2 (Andreil Jack Frost AU, part 3)

All for the game

Rating: General Audiences

Relationship: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Andrew Minyard & Renee Walker, Andrew Minyard & Kevin Day

Additional Tags: Jack Frost!Neil, Writer!Andrew, Succession of vignettes, Non-Chronological, Hurt/Comfort, Friendhsip, The editorial world, POV Andrew Minyard

[Part 3 of the When the frost is in bloom series - Chapter 2/? - 3484 words - Updated 2020-02-03]

Summary:

The trials and tribulations of editing Der Albtraumprinz, featuring Andrew, Renee, Kevin, and Wymack.

(Set during Frost Bite)

[Read on AO3]

Author’s Notes:

I read I'll Give You the Sun in one night, slept from 6am to noon, and wrote this. So you can thank Jandy Nelson for getting the second vignette so soon, I guess.

[See the end for the German translations]

Chapter 2: Snowdrift

The world is right again, Mia thinks.

There’s only one thing left to do, Issa thinks.

“Will you visit?” he asks Alberich, not saying please.

The Prince of Nightmares smiles.

“Always.”

And the wind blows. And he takes Issa’s hand. And the world is right.

Renee puts her bag on the table and sits across from him, smiling. Andrew’s already ordered for her, that smoked tea she always drinks when she wants to focus. His own drink is nearly finished, a coffee he didn’t taste as much as breathe. It burned all the way down.

“Thank you,” Renee says, taking a sip out of her cup. It clinks when she puts it down on the saucer, a light, clear sound that makes Andrew think of snow, of all things. Under his fingernail an itch suddenly calls for smoke. He makes tight fists until it’s gone.

Renee pulls a thick envelope out of her bag and sets it on the table where her bag was. Out of it comes paper, a stack of it. White like snow but stained with black, all over it. Touches of blue, he knows, sprinkle the heap, a very light blue, like the sky on winter sunny days, because Renee doesn’t like to write in red.

(It’s a little too harsh, she told him once. And I’m not a school teacher. I don’t write corrections. Just suggestions.)

Andrew gulps the last of his coffee, grimacing the bitter blackness down. Renee’s eyebrows make a little jump up and she looks amused at the gesture for a second. Then she looks down at the snowdrift sitting on the table covered in black and blue, and it begins.

“I really liked it, Andrew,” is the first thing she says. She always starts with a general statement. Then she thanks him. “Thank you for trusting me with it.”

Andrew shrugs, jumps his leg under the table a few times, brings his hand down upon his knee to stop.

Renee takes a sip of tea. Her face opens, happy and honest, enthused. “I’ve always loved your stories, but I think you’ve got something special with this one. It feels… truer. It’d already started with Winter, but - something went further with this one. It’s the rawest I’ve ever seen you write, Andrew.” She says this and fixes her gaze on him. “I don’t know why, or how, but I think you’ve really found yourself with this story.”

Andrew stares her down, stone-like. If he moved, if he spoke, he would shatter. He’s sure of it.

“Sorry,” she says, smiling, “but it needed to be said.” She brings the cup to her lips and drinks, and when the cup is down she pulls Der Albtraumprinz closer. Somehow, Andrew too feels like he was just moved. “Ready?” she asks with both hands flattened upon the first page.

Andrew clenches and unclenches his hands, and blows a breath to lift the fog inside his head.

“Go for it.”

Renee does a detailed run-down of it. Every scene that works, every scene that doesn’t. The little things and the bigger things. What could go, and what needs more. Andrew has been deconstructed into pieces by the time she’s done, or peeled and peeled into hollows. Either way the wind rattles him raw, scrapes his skin off until everything that’s left of him is in shambles.

Words, he thinks. Words words words words. I need them now.

He gets his notepad out and starts to write.

The world is right again, Mia thinks.

The world has changed again, Issa thinks.

The sword in Mia’s hand glows white. Issa doesn’t notice, because he’s turned to the Albtraumprinz.

“Will you visit?” he asks, not saying please.

Alberich smiles.

“Always.”

And he takes Issa’s hand. And the wind blows. And the world is right.

Andrew drags a deep cloud into his lungs and feels himself fill up. The smoke floats out through every pore until it’s joined the sky above, where the wind flares.

“I’m not saying it’s bad, Andrew,” Kevin is saying back down on earth. “In fact, I think it’s really good. Renee’s right when she says it’s the best you’ve ever written - but, Andrew, you can’t - that’s exactly why you can’t. Think about your target demographic. You’ll lose readers.”

Kevin rakes a shaking hand through his hair. His hands haven’t stopped moving since he started talking, like flies, like birds, and his face is a storm he’s trying desperately, and failing, to keep bottled.

“Think about it, Andrew,” he pleads, green eyes like river sludge. “You’ve built yourself a readership, a name. This is madness. You could ruin it all and for what? It’s a kid’s book!” He throws both hands into the air like it’s the be-all end-all of arguments, then brings them back down to his head. “Don’t be stupid.”

Andrew turns around in his chair and stubs his cigarette out into the ashtray, shutting Kevin up with his gaze. “Are you done?”

Kevin opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again. “Der Albtraumprinz could be a bestseller, Andrew. This is an unnecessary risk.”

“Art is always a risk,” Andrew drones out, voice flat. “I don’t write to sell.”

“I know that -”

“No, you don’t,” Andrew cuts in. “You’re too covered in your own shit to see it. Just because you’re too scared of the monster in your own closet doesn’t mean everyone has to be.”

Kevin makes a face like he’s been slapped. His hands drop to his lap like flies. “What -” he stammers, then thinks better of it. He looks so pale Andrew’s almost tempted to feel sorry for him.

Almost.

“You can hide all your life for all I care,” Andrew hammers down, not letting Kevin look away. “But either you get over your self-pitying paranoia, or you’re not reading a single one of my manuscripts ever again.”

He lets the words hang in the air for a second. Then he gets up, and leaves a frozen Kevin to stare at the wall in his beige hotel room. Maybe the cold air rushing in through the open window will help him gather his one-track junkie brain, or maybe it’ll give him pneumonia. Andrew wishes for the latter.

The world is right again, Mia thinks.

The world has changed again, Issa thinks.

The sword in Mia’s hand glows white. Issa doesn’t notice; the Albtraumprinz is smiling and it’s all he can see.

“Will you visit?” he asks, and forgets to say please because his chest is about to burst. “Will I?”

Alberich smiles.

“Always.”

And he takes Issa’s hand. And the wind blows. Everything slots into place.

Wymack drops the stack of paper on his desk and sits down across from him. He tidies a few things off his desk then sits back, hands crossed over his chest. Andrew raises an eyebrow.

“Renee was right. This is your best work yet.”

“So I’ve been told.”

Wymack huffs. “You know, Minyard, what I really love about you is your modesty. Really refreshing.” He claps the manuscript on the back. “Anyway, Der Albtraumprinz’s approved. I got the cover a couple days ago, so you should get the first test copies soon. You’ll be on the shelves on the sixteenth of December like we’d planned, so hopefully you’ll sell well for Christmas.”

“Good to know.”

“If there’s any last minute change you want to make, it’s now. Tomorrow will be too late.”

Andrew nods. “There is one,” he says.

“Let’s see it then.”

Andrew digs a folded piece of paper out of his jacket’s pocket and puts it on Wymack’s desk. When Wymack unfolds it, he frowns.

“A dedication?”

“Yes,” Andrew says.

Wymack looks skeptical, but he grabs a red pen and stamps a sticky note over the page, quickly scribbling a few instructions over it.

“I’m not going to ask,” he says with finality, “but others will.”

“I don’t care.”

Wymack sighs. “I don’t doubt that. Anything else?” he asks, clapping the manuscript again, then putting it away when Andrew shakes his head. “Alright. Now that that’s done, let’s talk sequel. Are you continuing this or not? It doesn’t have to be official just yet, but I’d like to have an idea. Seems to me like you’ve got room to explore.”

Andrew twitches.

The sword in Mia’s hand glows white.

“I’m continuing it.”

[From: Kevin] They have new pieces at the Landesmuseum Württemberg.

[From: Kevin] I’m going tomorrow.

[To: Kevin] why should I care

[From: Kevin] Come with me?

[To: Kevin] no.

[From: Kevin] I’m flying back the day after.

[To: Kevin] good.

[From: Kevin] They’re doing something around myths and legends for Christmas.

[From: Kevin] I’ll pay for your ticket.

[From: Kevin] You were right. I overreacted. I apologize.

[To: Kevin] what time

[From: Kevin] 2PM? I’ll meet you at your place.

[To: Kevin] you mean 14 Uhr, du Ami

[From: Kevin] You know, if you’re capitalizing words in the middle of a sentence, you might as well capitalize the first letter.

[To: Kevin] no thx

[From: Kevin] You disgust me.

[To: Kevin] heul doch

[From: Kevin] See you tomorrow, Andrew.

[German Translations]

- "Der Albtraumprinz" : The Prince of Nightmares

- "Landesmuseum Württemberg" : the regional museum of Württemberg

- "14 Uhr" : 14h, aka 2pm

- "du Ami" : you yankee

- heul doch : cry me a river

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