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sepublic · 3 months

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I wanna analyze part of the exchange between Luz and the Titan, because I’m seeing some people misunderstand it by claiming the show is saying that Luz doesn’t need to self-reflect because she always means well, unlike THOSE guys (Nevermind everything she and others have gone through up until this point). Maybe I’m repeating the obvious, but;

“I’m not so kind. When I saw the Collector fly up to Belos, I hoped with all my heart I would see them blast him away, and-”

Here we have Luz insinuating that she’s not kind, simply on account of wanting Belos dead; Nevermind the fact that she has plenty of justified reason to want gone someone who has maliciously caused her and her loved ones so much pain, trauma, and agony across so much time.

“Hey, I can relate. I was willing to do anything to keep my kid safe. But I attacked the wrong person, dragged the Collector down here for nothing.”

The Titan does relate to feeling shame over ugly emotions like hatred and anger, which can make people lash out; Bringing up how those feelings brought him to make a terrible mistake that would have a lasting ripple effect on the Boiling Isles up until now.

“Does that make us as bad as Belos?”

At which point, Luz drops the question, the false equivalency that it’s fair for her to nevertheless entertain for the sake of self-reflection; Does her and the Titan feeling anger and even hurting people over it, or planning to, make them as bad as Belos?

“What? Have you been drinking Eda’s homemade apple blood?”

The Titan’s skepticism over this false comparison is self-explanatory.

“Well, Belos says he’s trying to save humanity, and we’re saying we want to save our families, so isn’t that the same thing? Don’t- Don’t these feelings come from the same place?”

When Luz says ‘feelings’, she’s very much talking about anger, even hatred; The kind that drives people to fight and even hurt others. Belos is angry, but Luz notes that so is she, as was the Titan, and all of them claim to do this over loved ones they’re worried about, right? That’s the ‘same place’ she’s referring to.

“Well, you assume Belos’ goal comes from a genuine place. But, that man doesn’t care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion. And because of that, he fears what he can’t control.”

That’s when the Titan clarifies the difference; The anger of the victim is not the same as the anger of the abuser. The anger of the oppressed is not comparable to the anger of the oppressor. Anger doesn’t necessarily make you the bad guy, especially when it moves people to do the right thing. Both Luz and the Titan are angry, yes; But they’re angry because they legitimately have loved ones, and themselves, who have been hurt, and are genuinely at stake here. They're still allowed to feel this way. They only want Belos dead because they can’t get him to stop hurting people, so this is the only option left to make him stop endangering others.

Whereas Belos’ hatred is that of the colonizer; He never really had anyone at stake here. Humanity was never in any real danger, especially not Caleb, whom Philip consciously disrespects by going against everything Caleb stood for, despite Caleb having made it clear with an open-armed welcome that this would never have to exclude his love for his brother. Philip made the decision to choose a world over his brother, NOT Caleb who understood he should theoretically have both, as a parallel/foil to Luz who wants both, but is still struggling to accept she can have that.

Dana confirmed at Pixelatl –and it’s fairly obvious even without said confirmation- that she based Belos off of televangelists, cult leaders, the conservative relative, etc. The first two especially are hardcore bigots, the kind who really double down on their prejudice, and actively make it happen on a larger scale; These are the kind of people who go past that reasonable point of being well-intentioned but misinformed about their biases.

Yes, Luz and Belos are both angry, but Belos’ anger is that of the reactionary conservative, hence “fearing what he can’t control.” He claims to feel threatened, but unlike people like Luz who really are endangered and fighting for their lives, the only thing being threatened is Belos’ worldview of supremacy and self-righteousness, so like a lot of right-wing “morality police” and the like.

In the end, TOH is calling out how bigotry did not start from a place of good intentions, which is fitting given Belos represents the type of OG bigot, the Puritans who were among many who made contact with the Native Americans and vice-versa; Prejudice was born as a way to justify narratives of power and control, by dehumanizing others and thus justifying their suffering and exploitation for the sake of those who ‘really’ matter. These narratives, when perpetuated, create self-fulfilling prophecies and issues that the misguided but well-meaning are concerned about, which leads them down flawed attempts to address these problems.

This is to say people who genuinely mean well, who have been hurt and do have others at stake, can make mistakes; This very exchange reminds us that the Titan hurt the Collector, something she does nothing to justify, and something the viewers know was objectively wrong, and has deep consequences as we’re currently seeing. Luz and the Titan both contributed to the Collector falling into Belos’ hands, but while Luz was genuinely manipulated and didn’t realize what was going on, the Titan chose to lash out at a bystander because she couldn’t channel her anger successfully towards the Archivists.

But the Titan has learned, and she’s recognized what she’s done as wrong, and she’s made efforts to undo and make up for that. And it’s important to remember how all of this was prompted by the genocide of the Archivists, who claim to be preserving life, yet destroy it when it does not heed their plans. People are still responsible on an individual level, but it’s also worth noting how the system can influence them, just as it did for Amity and Lilith. And the system was started by people who didn’t really have a system over their heads, or were rebelling against a different kind.

It’s not as if TOH is saying you can’t mean well and make mistakes; So much of the show is about people meaning well and making mistakes, especially parents towards their children. And this is fitting since a well-meaning parent nevertheless hurting her child is the inciting incident of the series, and it’s something that is brought up and resolved in the previous episode between Luz and Camila. Hell, Luz herself understands that meaning well can hurt others, like when she kept secrets from Amity, under the guise of not wanting to burden her girlfriend.

TOH still has plenty of examples of genuine intent leading to bad things; So it’s entirely reasonable, in this case, to bring up the original people who codified bigotry and prejudice, because being a freak and a weirdo does not happen in a vacuum, it is in relation to a society. At some point you have to discuss WHY someone is considered strange; Who designated the guidelines for the deviant, and by extension, what are the guidelines for what is ‘normal’, who decided this would be normal, and why? And that’s why the story brings these back to the settlers who made contact with the Native Americans and vice-versa, and established a precedent for prejudice towards these people.

The point is that the show is refuting the centrist idea of Both Sides, that if you’re violent and/or angry then you’re just as bad as the oppressor, if not worse; Victims are allowed to be angry, they have a right to be upset, as Eda herself says. You can’t expect them to appeal solely by peace when that’s clearly not working out, hence Raine and Darius’ rebellions, which do necessitate violence at times, even if they’d love to minimize it and try; Which is why the finale shows the initially-cautious CATTs accepting covenscouts who are willing to change, why Kikimora is shown doing community service (and that's assuming it's not just a job given her lack of uniform; She may have been allowed to reintegrate into society as a regular citizen).

Between the juxtaposition of the Collector hearing about how Amity and Lilith were successfully appealed to, and applying that to Belos, only for that to fail as Luz explains this individual situation is a bit more complicated… Basically, what the show is saying is that you should choose to be kind and give chances and grace, anyone can change; But people also have a right to prioritize themselves in self-defense, and just in general health, when people continue to refuse to reciprocate, and leave no other choice. Because there’s still responsibility on the other party to respond to these offers of kindness, and make the same choice to improve the world; They have free will, everyone does, and you can’t force people to be better, anymore than the Collector can force people to be their friends.

Not to mention how victims have a right to be upset and don’t owe forgiveness, but at the same time, the concept of Restorative VS Retributive Justice argues that it’s better for the world if everyone improved; That doesn’t mean victims have to forgive or even necessarily help, because improving oneself does not rely on your victims doing you favors. It’s ultimately about harm reduction; Ideally, harm is reduced by helping people open their minds and change, but if that isn’t working and the person keeps hurting and even killing others, then yes, harm must be reduced by imprisoning, or even killing them in self-defense.

Hence the difference in that Luz’s anger comes from ultimately wanting to reduce harm and being frustrated by those who continue to perpetuate it; Versus Belos whose anger isn’t really meant to prevent harm, but pointlessly cause more of it, because of his immature disgust towards those different, as well as the supremacy and selfishness that actively puts down others for Belos’ own sake (because Caleb isn’t allowed to have more than one person in his life, apparently).

And note that Belos is already at the end of his life (because people only have so much time to change before it's cut short by death), because extending it requires sacrificing palismen, which goes against harm-reduction; So they can’t just imprison Belos without killing him. And in the end, the protagonists don’t prolong Belos’ misery by letting the boiling rain finish him off, they get it over with by stomping on him; Not only does this allow them to vent much-deserved anger towards an oppressor, but it cuts away any chance of Belos coming up with something last-second by just ending him right there. That reduces harm from Belos, and harm TO Belos, because his death isn’t any longer than it needs to be.

And on Luz’s side, her not doing anything to Belos is justified because it’s about her refusing to help him, thus standing for herself and what she believes, and not letting this traumatic, gaslighting presence have any more power over her. Luz still allows her loved ones to finish off Belos; Her not responding to Belos is about reducing harm to herself.

It’s a lot of stuff. It’s about balancing a lot of seemingly conflicting, opposite ideas, like Luz balancing two worlds; As she herself explains to the Collector, it can be “complicated.” It’s about nuance, and a case-by-case basis; Because note that the Titan doesn’t tell Luz that she will always be right because SHE always means well. Just that in this specific case, in regards to this specific guy, things are not equivalent. Hence why the Titan focuses on deconstructing Belos and not Luz.

This moment specifically is breaking down colonial rhetoric by calling it out for what it actually is, because Belos is 100% a colonizer and this is one of the most important aspects of his character, and his contributions, to the narrative. And whatever mistakes Luz and the Titan made, at least they care enough to make up for it, because they really are trying to do this for others, instead of prioritizing an ego trip; That kind of mentality is doomed to being static. I'd argue the Titan isn't necessarily saying that Belos never cared about anyone (AKA Caleb) period, just that in the context of his 'protecting humanity' claim, he wasn't doing it for anyone because there was nobody in any actual danger, and he knows it. Philip wasn't actually concerned for Caleb's sake when he killed him.

#the owl house #luz noceda #boiling isles titan #analysis #meta #emperor belos #philip wittebane

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eggtartz · 1 year

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Hi! Can I request Draken, Haitani brothers, Hanma and Taiju like they're at a festival (or something like that) with 5"0 s/o and they just lose them? Thank you ♥

a/n : im screaming because im 5"2 so this is very self indulged 🧍

masterlist

draken (canon height 6"1)

he has planned to bring you to the mall for the weekends. what he failed to notice was how crowded the mall would be and how easy it was to lost you. the moment he has let your small figure go from his sight, he instantly lost you. you being short isn't helping either so with an advantage of him having heights more than everyone, he used it to find you incase something bad happens. although he isn't going to let that happen either way. "y/n! hell baby where did you go?!" he cupped your face while you stared at him. "ath the claw macshine!" you cheerfully replied while gesturing at the claw machine nearby, draken sighed and hugged you tight. "okay hold my hand okay? i can't lose you here"

rindou (canon height 5"8)

walking at the streets at roppongi was always difficult as every night the colourful area would always be packed with people. however having a leverage of having a boyfriend as a person that leads a pack there, you used it to walk safe and sound, not getting lost either. rindou and you had a date while his brother and his members were scattered around there. you went to the toilet to freshen up and take a leak without rindou's knowing because you thought it was going to be a second. boy were you wrong. "where are they?!" "i don't know rindou? maybe they went somewhere?" "look for them!" "gosh rindou y/n's so short we won't find them at this point" "SHUT UP ANIKII IM PANICKING" "oh what's wrong?" you came back at the sight of your boyfriend looking stressed and his brother who had hands on his hips. when the two of them saw you they sighed in relief and ran whispered to his member. the member then shouted "y/n has been found! you guys can stop searching now!" "you guys were searching for me?" "nevermind sweetheart. let's go, i saw pretty flowers there"

taiju (canon height 6"5)

taiju has noticed one of your habits if you two were in a date. which is to wander off to god knows where. so he always make sure that his hand is securely wrapped around yours so you won't wander off somewhere too far where he can't see you and even if you wandered, you'd be dragging him with you. but one day he forgot. the man had forgot to hold your hand because he saw this new, shiny television that peaked his interest. he was checking the quality, the audio and turned to asked you only to find you gone. well, shit. taiju cursed under his breath, ditched the television and went to find you around the store. it was looking for a damn pokemon or something because he looked down and never up. that was until he saw your short figure (although being short you had fast steps) he ran after you and hugged you from behind. "oh taiju? look at these flowers! i wanna grow them so our flowers at home won't be lonely" "you wandered off again, love" "oh did i? well, these flowers looks too pretty for me! let's buy one, hello may i ask how much is this?!" yeah, you were going to be the death of him. also going to be the cause of him having a neck sprain.

hanma (canon height 6"4)

hanma adored the height difference between you two, the man finding it cute although one thing that it was a pain to search for you if you're suddenly gone. you two were at a funfair and hanma on purpose had tied a balloon with a heart shaped on your wrist. you were holding his hand while your other hand hugged a teddy bear hanma won earlier. "shuji look! cotton candy!" "what colour do you want love i'll buy it for you" "hmm, blue!" "alright stay here" hanma walked around to get to the counter, so many people were there. when he came back, your figure was nowhere to be found but no worries! the balloon now works as a gps so he looks for a heart shaped balloon, pink coloured and saw one not too far. you were looking at some keychains when shuji kissed your cheek from behind making you giggle a bit. "your cotton candy" "mmf thankyou shuji, look keychains!" look forward to him tying floating stuff around your wrist so you can be spotted after this.

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jake-g-lockley · 1 year

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ooo hi!! can i request something with marc where he tells the reader a secret (any secret) while they're laying in bed together? just something cute and sweet and maybe a lil vulnerable, thank you!!

Forever Feels Like… (Marc Spector x reader)

Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Wanna be Tagged?

A/N: Heya lovely! Thanks for the ask, this is so pure ughhh. I added a little change but I hope you like this huhu <33 THIS GIF OF MARC LORD I WILL SIN HES SO BEAUTIFUL!! also THIS SONG UGH TAYLORRRRR

Word count: 1.4 k

One of your favourite things in the world was coming back home to a soft warm bed where no secrets are kept. It was a promise you made with the love of your life and he had intended to keep that promise, no matter how much the truth hurt. It was a difficult process, trying to get Marc to open up, but when he started doing it, he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he realized that if he ever had secrets he wouldn’t mind sharing them with you.

Today was a particularly cold night. The city below was exceptionally silent and it wasn’t hard to get cosy in bed. You had a book in your hands, mouthing the words as Marc dried his hair off from his late shower, lighting one of your favourite scented candles before climbing into bed. He crawled towards you and settled his head on your tummy, wordlessly placing your hand in his hair and you smiled down at him, letting your fingers lazily twist his damp locks.

The silence between the both of you was something of a luxury, rich and comfortable, a silence that made you feel like everything was going to be alright whenever he was by your side. Sometimes, one of you would punctuate the silence with something that the both of you would giggle about and when your peripheral caught Marc staring up at you, you knew it was his turn today.

“Do you ever just pretend like you are in a music video when you’re listening to music?” Marc whispered.

“Huh?” you were caught off guard with his statement and you sat up a little, confused.

“Uhhh, nevermind…” Marc reeled back and your heart almost stopped.

“No, no, wait, do you?” you stutter out before you could lose your husband to his own dilemmas.

After a long pause, you finally got an answer from Marc.

“Yes…”

Your mouth twisted into a grin as Marc hides his face in his hands. You caught a blush creeping up his face and your heart fluttered at his cuteness.

“Tell me how.” you whispered, letting your hands curl around his wrist, gently tugging his hands to expose his beautiful face.

“No.” he mumbled.

“Baby, come on, you can’t spring a secret on me like that and not dwell into it. You know I will never ever judge.” you felt Marc’s vulnerability pulling at your heartstrings.

Marc takes a deep breath as you lace your fingers with his, kissing his knuckles gently. He gets up from where he is laying down and changes his position, so that now he was facing you.

“Sometimes, I just close my eyes and let the music soothe everything and it means that I eventually forget all my troubles and fall into a dream world.” he whispers, his breath fanning your face with how close he was.

You nod, egging him on.

“It’s just me alone, in a world without people and it feels safe and comfortable.”

Marc used a lot of things to cope over the years. He had believed in himself and therapy had been slowly taking the edge off things. You were glad that your husband was getting all of the help that he needed. Often you would find him doing things that would make you smile.

He’d like to seem tough around you but in reality, he was a real softy who deserved the world. Sometimes you would catch him fast asleep with his headphones on, and when you leaned down to press a kiss onto his cheek, you would catch Taylor Swift’s beautiful voice, making you giggle at his choice of music. It was endearing, the way he would smile softly in his sleep and snuggle his nose into the pillow.

“Then when I met you, you kinda changed everything, because then, all the songs had you in it.”

His statement caught you way off guard now and your heart thudded in your chest furiously.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” He smiled softly and you swore in that moment, you will literally do anything for him.

“Oh Marc…” you whispered, tracing your fingertips on the lines on his face.

“Winters here are cold and miserable but you make me feel warm and loved.” He whispers, his lips meeting yours softly.

Healing was something that was hard for Marc. The idea of mortality was so confusing for a man that had died and come back to life. When the songs started to sound like they had been written about you and him, Marc choose to believe that he needed to cherish his mortality, choosing to hand it to you instead because he knew that you were the only one he could trust it with.

“Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming about you and I hate being a romantic but I guess it's ok since it’s you.” He sighs and you giggle.

“Says the man who lets me steal his favourite cookies.” you boop his nose and his face scrunches.

“You and me both know that the missing cookies are the work of elves.” Marc grumbles and you barked out a laugh before kissing his forehead. “Very sexy wifey elves.”

You used to dream of a man like this, one who would give you everything without a single question. You knew his love was genuine and he had so much love to give, so much so that it exhausted him. You searched hard for years but he turned up when you least expected him to and now here he was, this beautiful man, barring his secrets to you.

“I guess it’s my turn now huh, Spector?” you say, taking a deep breath and preparing yourself.

Marc nodded encouragingly into your chest where he had settled his head in. You gently wrapped your arms around him and held him close, twisting his hair between your fingers.

“Okay, mine has been a little thing I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. I’ve stopped wearing setting spray.” You sighed and Marc brought his head out of your chest and glared at you.

“Wait! Before you say anything, hear me out.” You say before Marc could berate you about that not being a real secret.

He nodded, snuggling back into your chest.

Marc had always been a big fan of the blush you wear. Everyday you thank the goddess called Selena Gomez and slowly press the cream foundation over your foundation. Marc always noticed when you wore it and would watch you with his head perched on his palms as you skipped around the kitchen making breakfast.

One day, you had forgotten to spray your setting spray and Marc kissed your cheek before you could say anything. When he pulled away, you noticed that the blush had transferred onto his lips, the light tinge of colour making your heart swell with happiness. He left to work like that before you could say a thing and from that day on, you decided to skip out on your setting spray.

“So yea, you’ve been going to work with my blush on your lips, babe.” you say finally and almost jumped when Marc began to laugh in your arms.

“I know.” Marc stuttered out between laughs.

“Huh?”

“Yea, I know, I’ve been doing it on purpose.” He raised his head to kiss your cheek with a big ‘MUAH!’

“You looked so cute the first time I did that to you, there was a small imprint of my lips on your cheek and I pretended not to notice, but I loved it. It just gave me a reason to come back and kiss you again and again.” he said, kissing you between sentences as you writhed and giggled under him.

“What god brought you to me?” You sighed, pressing your forehead to his.

“Weirdly, an Egyptian one.” Marc murmured.

“Ok, let’s not talk about big bird and summon him here.” you rolled your eyes at the thought of your husband’s ex employer.

“Mmhm, I’d most definitely wish to be alone now with my sweetheart.” Marc mumbled as his lips dropped to yours again and his arms curl around your waist, pulling you impossibly close.

You relaxed into his touch, accepting every single path you had taken to get to this single moment. Your heart swooned as Marc hooked your legs behind him, his nose dragging gently along your neck.

Secrets had never tasted so good.

Reblogs are appreciated~~~

Tagging: @fandxmslxt69 @randomnessfangirl @bodhisattva11 @marc-spectors-wife @nyotamalfoy @steven-grants-world @whatsliferightnow @minigirl87 @wonderfulboiledcoldpotato @alexxavicry @autismsupermusicalassassin @flordelalunas @marygraceee @bloodredwolfsbane @euphoricosmo @sky-robin @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sugarpunch-princess @violet-19999 @celiaswife @swiggy-needs-mental-help @ghostheartbeat @kierramofficial @ryebreadsworld @your-voice-is-mellifluous @lil-stark @absolutelybloodyhopeless @mintpurplemnm @spookyysilverr @bubblezuku @cookielovesbook-akie @mandoloriancookie @pimosworld @undermoonknightwalk

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wantonlywindswept · 11 days

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adopted baby Guard Din idea that I am never going to write

because it would involve logistics and quiet moments and idle life which I am very down for reading but cannot for the LIFE of me actually sit down and write

So the war ends, Palps is outed as a Sith and an asshole and dies somehow, and the Senate eventually decides that the clones do count as people and thus are allowed to leave the GAR if they want. Give the bureaucrats another few years and they might even give out backpay and citizenship, so long as you stay in the service--wait what do you mean the entire Guard is resigning. What do you mean they've already left orbit?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE NOW MILLIONS OF FILES ON THE HOLONET ABOUT THE SENATE'S SHADY DEALINGS???

Guard, collectively: lol cya suckers

Fox is of course one of the last ones out, and since this was all planned on the down low, everyone's been split into groups so they can take commercial flights, since they're not about to be accused of stealing ships. (They also leave their weapons and their armor behind, in a giant macabre pile in the middle of Corrie HQ. Even their helmets, their faces, they discard: it's time for a rebirth.)

He and Thorn and a few other Corries have a stopover on some tiny station, waiting a week for a delayed transport to arrive, and in the meantime they're approached by some locals who just fled the planet below. Separatist remnants attacked their homes, forcing them to leave everything and everyone behind; can the big strong clones do anything about it?

The Big Strong Clones: Oh shit we finally get to kick some Seppie ass? Sign us the FUCK up.

The eager group does not include Fox, who could not care less about the Separatists and would very much like to finally catch up on his sleep. Unfortunately that means that the group that goes down to the planet is Unsupervised.

(Thorn does not count as supervision. Thorn, bereft of Senate oversight, has finally allowed his Inner Chaos Gremlin to fully emerge. Thorn needs more supervision than the shinies.)

Thorn, three days later, waking Fox from half-hearted sleep by dropping an entire natborn child on him: Hey boss, look what we found! None of the refugees claimed him, so we called dibs. Can we keep him? Fox, staring at the child: ...

Din, staring back: ...

Fox: ...no..?

Din: *sad but understanding big brown eyes*

Fox: Nevermind this is my child now.

Din has gone from two parents to one parent and hundreds of overprotective brothers.

Eventually his group makes it to their destination, Din in tow. I am uncertain of what the destination is but it is a planet that is as far away from Coruscant that the Corries could find. I am tempted for Tatooine not because I like Tatooine (I share Anakin's loathing of sand and deserts) but because Luke's description of Tatooine in ANH was 'if there's a bright center to the universe, this is the planet the furthest from'.

Corries, hearing that: Fuck it sounds perfect.

Anyway they make it to Tatooine, there is probably purchasing of some shitty land/buildings that nobody wants out in the wastes bc crime, scum, villainy, etc, but it's not like they have problems taking care of anything that tries to mess with them.

Where did they get the funds?

Shh don't ask about it.

Stone takes up moisture farming. Thire takes up farming-farming. Thorn shoots gleefully at anything that shows up unannounced within a ten-mile radius. Literally everybody dotes on Din. There are a surprising amount of peaceful days.

Eventually some dumb shiny goes: Hey don't kids need friends? Shouldn't we set up some playdates for him or something?

The shiny is not called dumb for asking the question, but they are called dumb for thinking that the question would only ever be taken rhetorically. Fox disappears for two weeks and then comes back with a black eye and a yowling hissing Boba tucked under one arm, looking stupidly pleased with himself.

(Boba is also pleased to be back with people he knows will keep him safe. Boba will not admit to this under threat of death or dismemberment. Boba is a SERIOUS SCARY ADULT BOUNTY HUNTER.)

Boba also decides he will be Mortal Enemies with Din, which after about ten minutes of meeting him morphs into If Anyone Hurts Din I Will Kill Everyone In This Room And Then Myself because all clones be the same, really.

Din has gained another brother/bestie. (Or potential future boyfriend, whichever floats your boat.)

Somehow they still end up overthrowing the Hutts.

Officially the GAR knew and knows nothing about the Guard leaving Coruscant as soon as the metaphorical paint was dry on their sentient status.

Unofficially Fox's batch harangues him every single day for photos of his new kid(s). They eventually show up unannounced, demanding time with their nephew. (They are shot at by Thorn.)

Din gains five new uncles.

The batch proudly show pics and holos to their battalions. Din gains millions of new uncles.

Fox finally gets a full night's sleep.

#tcw #tcw fanfiction #commander fox #din djarin #coruscant guard #someone else should write that #tho tbh it's mostly written here just in rambling infodump form #btw this is half-inspired bc red is both baby din and fox's color #din is nonverbal for a little while because Trauma #and gets nicknamed 'Kit'#Fox refuses to be pleased about this #Fox is extremely smugly pleased about this

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sugarpopss · 1 month

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Lamb, Pig, It's All The Same

Alright here's more Aegon with gout fic. idk. I don't have a tag list but I am gonna tag @bucknastysbabe bc I bounced some of this off of her before it sat in my drafts for two months, and @who-told-you-this-was-butter and @khaleesihel bc they're my howl drool cream over Aegon buddies

Fem reader, Aegon being a pathetic whore but like in a fun sexy way

The gout preferred to strike at night. It would violently jerk Aegon from his slumber and have him crying out with the sudden pain, panicked thrashing hindered by both his afflicted joint and his swollen stomach-for your husband did so love to gorge himself into drowsiness, despite repeated warnings from the maesters and scoldings from his own mother.

It was Aegons gasping and crying that usually awoke you. The overwhelming panic you’d felt at the beginning of your marriage, when you’d known nothing of the crown princes illness-possibly by design, but you’d not be caught making the accusation-had been overcome in the months since the first, terrifying night. By the time the summertime warmth of your wedding had frozen into winter, you were wrapping your arms around Aegon before you were even fully awake. He always leaned into you with all of his weight, seeking the comfort you provided him like a lamb searching for its mothers shadow.

“Hush, dearheart, it’ll fade. You know it will fade soon enough.”

It was all nonsense, really, that you murmured into his hair, but your soothing words and safe embrace gave Aegon something to anchor himself to while the pain ran its violent course. Despite the constant, grating irritation that usually marked Aegons presence in a room-and that ground your nerves to dust time and time again-his cries made your heart ache. Perhaps you were simply weak for a beautiful man in distress, because you always found yourself coming to his side when he glutted himself like a prized hog then whined so pathetically for you to soothe his belly.

When Aegon sniffled against your shoulder you just couldn’t help but to coo and stroke his hair. Nevermind the tears and mucus he was no doubt spreading all over the fine Myrish lace of your nightgown, the idiot usurper-your idiot usurper-was in pain and frightened. And although it surely made you a damnably terrible person, you found Aegon to be at his sweetest when he was reeling and needy. Not completely lost in the throes of the pain, of course, but when the attack began to ease and he nuzzled against your skin, seeking warmth and comfort and kind words and rewarding you with his gorgeous lilac eyes, red rimmed and watery, turned up to you with all of the mindless trust of a newborn lamb.

The knowledge that Aegon only sought your comfort because you happened to be closer at hand than a jug of wine did little to sour how much you enjoyed peppering kisses over his fever warm cheeks-cheeks which only seemed to grow fuller and rounder time trod on, but gout was not called the ‘fat mans disease’ for nothing. The fool was nearly incapable of self soothing without something in his mouth, a fact that had perhaps led your mind towards less appropriate thoughts of a hypothetical night upon which, after the pain had faded to a more manageable ache, you’d shrug off your nightgown and offer him your breast. You were confident that Aegon would take it eagerly, after all. Doesn’t every pathetic lamb need something to nurse?

Sometimes you gave up on holding him altogether and applied a cold herbal compress to his inflamed knee. As you sat on the edge of your own marital bed and pressed the damp, sticky rags to Aegons knee and watched him writhe and cry, your thoughts always grew strange. The affection-fine, perhaps a little bit of power as well-you felt while holding and comforting your husband went quiet. In its place arose thoughts of the Queen Consort tending to her own ailing Targaryen. You didn’t enjoy these thoughts, but they came nonetheless. Perhaps these men with dragons blood in their veins were somehow prone to affliction, or perhaps it was as simple as the fact that a loyal wife and a nursemaid were very much interchangeable.

Even if you were slightly uncertain whether you’d care for Aegons pain at all if he wasn’t so beautiful and needy and helpless when it struck.

Perhaps this man, this family, this city-they all brought out the worst in you. Or perhaps you were just a little too fond of your husbands flushed face and hitching cries.

#aegon targaryen ii #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanfic #aegon targaryen fic #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii x reader #chubby!aegon ii #my writing #alright lets go with the feedism angst #this isn't even really feedism??? idk

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undercoverpan · 10 months

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Spit in my face, my love, it won't faze me

Spider felt a lot of things at the moment. Cold, hot, empty, full. But mostly he felt lonely.

His vision was going blurry, darkening at the edges. He couldn't make out his own hand in front of his face, but he recognized his own blood coating it. If he had to guess, he had wounds on his stomach, arms, legs and back. His whole body was just one big bruise at this point, aching and throbbing like never before. In a sense, he got the blue stripes he'd always wanted. Nevermind the fact that they weren't stripes, just blue spots that were close enough together for him to mistake them as such.

The thing that definitely hurt the most was the cut around his throat, bleeding sluggishly and coating his body in blood. He had a feeling that it was the source of his trouble with breathing, come to think of it.

Now that he was laying on a cold ship deck and 100% dying, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. It was like all the emotions and trauma he'd been compartmentalising these past few months decided to pull a quick one on him and now he had so many fears and regrets. He regrets going to the shack, being born, trying to be Na'vi, not doing something while they hunted that tulkun, not doing more when the Na'vi were being threatened. And he was afraid, were the others safe? Did Quaritch let Kiri go? Have they fled the ship just yet? Are they safe?

A selfish, horrible, human part of him wishes they stayed. And because he is dying; he decides to indulge himself with those selfish fantasies of his. He imagines Lo'ak being there, telling him about the trouble he'd gotten up to without him, Kiri talking about the plants and the animals. Tuk showing him a cool shell she found, maybe Neteyam venting about his frustrations or something. Anything but the sound of fading screams and crackling flames.

The smell of blood and petrol hung in the air like a thick fog; clouding his senses with the copper scent. The ocean breeze felt like hell against his open wounds. It was freezing out here, and incredibly dark. Really, he should be happy the others got away. Overjoyed, thankful even. But he selfishly wishes to not be alone right now.

"Spider?"

The voice echoes in his ears. Oh. Oh, it sounds familiar, oddly so. He felt a strange sort of calm rush over him; something like acceptance. It felt like a warm blanket on his beaten and broken body; one he desperately needed. No one has made him feel safe like this, ever, except for maybe….

"J--Jake?"

He hates how weak and uncertain his voice sounds, carried like some kind of fragile chord over the winds. He feels a set of hands, warm and realer than what he could've imagined by himself, pawing at his injuries. He sees blue skin and yellow eyes, and he has to laugh at the absurdity of it.

"Jake, you came back…" he says in astonishment, not seeing the hurt look flashing over the man's face. "Are the others okay? Where are they?" He asked, spluttering out a cough and tasting metal in his throat.

"They're okay, Spider, son, they're okay." He says in English, and Spider doesn't think that's weird at all. He nods to the best of his ability, giving him a wide grin. "Did--did we get them? The demons? Did I do good?"

"Yes, son, we got all of them. Everyone is safe. You did so good, you were amazing, I promise."

He sighs in relief. At least he had that little bit of solace during his last moments. At least he had that. And you know, he had Jake. Jake was here, and now he wasn't alone. He hadn't realised he was scared of being alone until he was. Dying alone, he'd never considered it, but that was his reality until a couple minutes ago. Jake saved him from having to face that, even if he couldn't save him from his wife. In his heart of hearts, he knows he never intended to.

"Jake, I'm tired–, it–, it hurts. I'm just so tired…" he whispers, strength draining from his body like a river flowing to the ocean. He feels a kiss pressed to his temple as Jake pulls him to his chest; the feeling of his vest against his skin all too alien. The man bit back a sob, instead breathing heavily and unevenly.

"It's okay, son, it's okay. You can go to sleep, you've earned it. Me and the others, we'll all be here when you wake up, okay?" He promises and Spider desperately agrees. "You did so well, we're all so proud of you and we love you, you know that, right? Everything that happened before, that doesn't matter. I love you, Spider." He says with the desperation of a prayer.

"Really…? Even Neytiri?" He asks weakly. The other nods, running a hand through his dreads. "Yes, even her." The boy has to smile at that. "It's so cold." He says, and Jake adjusts his grip so they're better pressed together. "Better?" He asks, and Spider offers a weak nod.

"Oel ngati kameie, Jake.." he whispers. It is the last thing he says before he goes, hopefully being accepted by Eywa. "Oel Ngati kameie, son." His voice sounds broken, but certain. It is the last thing he hears before the world goes dark and his body goes limp.

Quaritch looked at his son's dead body and felt cold. He wonders if this is the same chill Spider felt just now. Like a gaping hole in his chest that the wind passes through, carrying its saltwater breeze like poison. Sully and his brood are gone; left him behind without a second thought. The children had this look of shock when Spider crumpled to the floor the first time, victim to their own mother. They might have screamed. They might have cried. Quaritch doesn't remember nor care.

In his final moments, Spider wanted Jake, the man who left him for dead twice now. And Quaritch could've corrected him easily, but it seemed so needlessly cruel. Spider was dying, his son was dying, why deny him the fantasy in his head? The dreams of family and acceptance that he was never afforded, not by the people he desperately needed it from. So yes, he let his son think it was Jake who held him while he died, and that his crazy wife really did care, even though she's responsible for this. It was disrespectful to the highest degree, but Quaritch thinks that his son is allowed to spit in his face, just this once.

It was enough for Spider, who looked peaceful in his arms, eerily still and pale. He wonders if he should leave him here, let the Sullys find him and give him the burial he wanted. He wonders if the fish would get his body first, or the fire. He wonders if they'd return at all, opting to let the ship burn itself down. It certainly sounds like Sully. He sighs.

Mind made up, he approached his ikran. The journey to the Omaticaya would be long, so it's best that he starts moving. At the very least, he'd make sure his son would be put to rest where he called home. He wouldn't take that from him, not in death, at least.

___

Decided you guys should feel sad, hope you liked it!!!

#avatar spider #avatar twow #spider socorro #miles spider socorro #jake sully #miles socorro #spider soccoro #miles quaritch

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nerdieforpedro · 2 months

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Weekend Update 03/03/2024

Hello! This update will be a bit shorter than others. Due to school and other things I haven't written or read as much as I normally do. In fact, I'll need to push back one of my series because the outline for it doesn't look right at all. 🥸 I'm feeling more moody and my smut fairy is back. Not that I can't write fluff, it's just in shorter bursts. To sum up:

Two Hearts by the Ocean will be delayed by a week or two (hopefully I can get the outline to cooperate with ideas).

Roc & Doc is updated less regularly so it's not affected.

March Spring Prompts are ongoing. I've been keeping them under 1k so shouldn't be any issues there. I did several of them ahead of time so I'm working on the last 2/3's of the month. I think. There's 10 or 11 done currently. Ugh math.

Florida Heat and Foul Play are both smut so they're safe.

Weddings 101 with Dieter should be fine as well considering what I planned for the next chapter. Not sure when it will be out.

The Lake between us is still on schedule. (Out later today I believe and then bi-monthly.)

Diddle Disco Dieter is being beta read, so maybe this week.

Follow up to a Din Djarin one shot I did still pending. It doesn't have the right feel yet.

I'm also tinkering with a Javier Pena series and a Frankie Morales series as well.

Nerdie, you think maybe, you might have too many projects?

I'm not understanding what you're saying. 😙 Or maybe I do. I have been thinking about cutting back but then my brain says, 'No. Why? It's fine. Motivation comes and goes but your need to write is forever. Also, we can't just leave these ideas in here. They'll turn into cobwebs."

We...nevermind. Carry on.

Now for what you really came for, fic recommendations! 🥰 Make sure to check warnings before you read. 😎

Hot in the Hotel by @musings-of-a-rose Dieter Bravo with himself. (The mind is a wonderful thing. Also pro tip: accents). 😍

It's Leading me on every time we Touch by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (Poe Dameron x f. reader)

Aquarius by @magpiepills (Javier Pena x f. reader)

Private Chef Joel by @bluemusickid (Joel Miller x plus size f reader)

Hunger by @morallyinept (Pero Tovar x f. reader)

Hush by @dincrypt (Din Djarin x reader)

En El Mar by @magpiepills (Javier Gutierrez x f reader)

En El Mar by @magpiepills (Joel Miller x f. reader)

Lie to Me by @morallyinept (Javier Pena x reader)

Night Walks by @toxicanonymity (Joel Miller x f reader)

Feel Good by @charethcutestrory02 (Frankie Morales x Benny Miller)

Keep It by @jksprincess10 (Marcus Pike x reader)

Second Chances part 1 by @pedroscurls (Marcus Pike x f reader)

To the Flame chapter 6, chapter 7 and chapter 8 by @pedroshotwifey (dark Javier Pena x f reader)

Sorry by @secretelephanttattoo (Frankie Morales x f reader)

Bat & Al’s Hidden Treasure Fic Rec List by @magpiepills and @schnarfer

Stay safe and happy reading everyone! 🤗

Love Nerdie ❤️

#Weekend Update #nerdie's update #Pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #Pedro pascal fanfiction #Nerdie fic recs

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asharaks · 1 month

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instinct, imperative

600 words wyll/dark urge companion piece to my body, a mistranslation :)

It's a little like fighting.

(At least, the way they dance, all sharp edges and blood in the mouth.)

It's a little like fucking.

(At least, the way he dances, all slow hips and intent dark eyes.)

They

(all concentration, all control)

move, and Wyll

(all confidence, all—)

moves with them, sliding back a step to leave them in the warmth of his shadow. It's instinct that has them reaching for him, mirroring him as he raises his hands;

it's instinct that has them catching him as he spins into their arms, swandive, swallowtail;

instinct, that has them draw him close, his head tipping back against their shoulder as he laughs, leans into them.

“See?” he says, voice light, breathless, reverberating through them, and they tighten their hands until his body is flush against theirs, until his cheeks flush and his chest hitches. “You are good at this.”

“I'm not sure.” He moves away, and they release him unspoken, let his hands raise theirs as he spins beneath their arm, curve of his horn grazing their wrist. “You seem to be doing most of the work.”

“It's about having a good partner,” comes the easy reply, the easy motion as he pulls them forwards, one-step-two, ungainly and awkward but he smiles at them all the same, runs his hands up their arms all the same, links their fingers all the same. “I wouldn't do this with just anyone, you know.”

Backstep, sidestep, just-barely-miss his feet as he moves in their space—

(feel his laugh brush their throat)

—hands on their waist to turn them, confident and encouraging, nevermind their inertia, the weight of them sin-skin-bone against his hands as he pushes and they spin away, miss the warmth (miss the moment) and—

—instinct, always.

Instinct, a killer.

Wyll moves, quicksilver quickstep, weight shifting down the length of their arm and momentum carries him past them, spins them, carries them tangled with him, counterweight-wide their hand on his waist:

instinct, in the end.

They reach him as he falls, arches back, spine a graceful curve, the swell of his horns brushing the ground. He's a lodestone in their arms, everything in them pointing Wyllwards: their heart pendulums, swinging on its leash, and for a moment they're falling and he's falling beneath them, bearing him down with all their weight into the black earth as gravity swallows them both.

And then:

muscle, marrow, brandhot against their palms, they catch him.

the fall ends, and he's safe in their hands. Laughing, breathless, warm weight on their shoulders as they pull him upright, inelegant and abrupt. He drapes himself across them, fingers linked behind their neck, turns their too-sharp too-fast movements into something less frenetic, smoother, more intentional. Beauty to their beast, sunlight on the shadow of them.

“Don't do that,” they say, once he's settled firmly in their grasp, once they can feel his laughter echo in their ribs. Wyll tips his head, horns clacking softly off theirs as his hands drift, as he meets their eyes blackred, blackblue.

“You weren't going to let me fall,” he says, smug. Certain. Placing all too much faith in them, as always, a Blade to their heart. He grins up at them, hands at their neck, chest against theirs. Too intimate for any courtly dance as he scrapes his nails over their throat, draws his hands down their arms, sways into them slow-slow-slow.

It's a little like fighting, and a little like fucking, and as in both, they follow their instincts.

His lips are soft, and he smiles into their mouth, and they, the only rhythm in their heart a wardrum, find themself smiling back all the same.

#wyll week #the dark urge/wyll #wyll ravengard #bg3 fic #just a little dancy dance....#writing #tiavyn

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ae-azile · 1 month

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Progression, Chapter 22 Sneak Peek:

Between the two of them, Kim tends to sleep later than Chay. His body is hard-wired to stay up late, and on top of that, he tends to sleep lightly. The latter is something that has changed a little in the last two months. Sleeping with Chay is just better. Even when they had slept on the couch in Chay’s house - prior to everything falling apart - he slept better than he usually had. Now that they're together and Kim isn't waiting for Chay to find out everything and leave, he almost always sleeps through the night.

So that's the only explanation for not hearing his phone ping the next morning. He sleeps right through it until Chay is gently shaking him awake.

“We missed a few texts. I have been talking with Macau for a bit, but you should catch up and read them.”

Kim lets his eyes open as he sits up and grabs his phone from the nightstand. Even as he opens the texts from Macau and Porsche to read them, he can't quite comprehend what it means.

Macau: Hey, why is my brother talking to Kinn on the phone?

Macau: I'm not hiding in some safe house to wait out another attack. The cell service was so shitty and the WiFi was non-existent. I was kept out of the loop until Porsche and Khun came to get me. Pissed me the fuck off at the time, but I went with them because I needed out of there, even if it meant death.

Macau: That sounds like I didn't care about my brother. I did. They downplayed his condition until we got to the hospital. I didn't care about the shitty service after that, but it was horrible while it was a main priority and I didn’t know any better.

Macau: He's now off the phone, barely talking, and cuddling with Paris, Valencia, and Pittsburgh.

Chay: Who are Valencia and Pittsburgh?

Macau: Hia’s and P’Pete’s cats, duh. 🙄 Took you long enough to answer.

Chay: Who names a cat Pittsburgh? Who names anything Pittsburgh?

Macau: When Hia and P’Pete got them, they agreed to each name one. Hia named the girl Valencia because it is a city that has the same starting English letter as his name. So P’Pete picked Pittsburgh for the boy because it matched the starting letter of his own name. They also got stuck there during a layover last year due to a huge snowstorm and it was the first time P’Pete ever experienced snow. I guess they even extended their time there a couple of days to enjoy it. Pittsburgh now has a special place in P'Pete's and Hia's heart. Anyway, the cat is white. Pittsburgh.

Chay: I guess that makes sense? Also, why did you never say anything about being an uncle now? Kim and I would have sent you a present or something. Hia showed me a picture of Paris. She's really cute.

Macau: I’ve been an uncle. Valencia and Pittsburgh have been here for a while now and are a lot quieter. Paris doesn't scratch at the furniture though, so that's nice. I think that's why she's Hia’s new favorite.

Chay: That's definitely it. Let me know if anything else happens.

Macau: wtf he and Kinn are on the phone again. What is going on???

Kim: 🤷🏻

As soon as Kim sends that emoji to Macau since he doesn't actually know, he moves over to the text group Porsche started with the two of them.

Porsche: Kinn and Vegas talked on the phone for over an hour last night. I guess it went well. Kinn was emotional when I got back to the suite, but he said it went better than he expected it to go.

Porsche: And they're on the phone again. Idk who called who.

Porsche: They're fighting over some game they played when they were kids and are choosing to be pissed off about that over literally anything else?

Porsche: Vegas hung up on him 😕

Porsche: Nevermind, he answered when Kinn called him back.

Porsche: I don't know what is going on. Kinn is laughing about something. It's exhausting to keep up with. I am about to go hang out with Arm and Khun because they cause me less stress.

Chay: You can't. This is more important and interesting.

Porsche: Important, maybe. It isn't interesting when I can only hear one side of the conversation. You know two people who are interesting? Arm and Khun.

Porsche: Also? Took you long enough to answer.

Kim: 🤷🏻

“Is that all you have to contribute to both conversations?” Chay asks as Kim cuddles back into him, “You just found out your brother is on his second phone call with Vegas and that's the only thing you can say?”

“It's their third conversation,” Kim mumbles, wrapping himself around Chay, “Vegas hung up on him the second time. See? I care. I paid attention to what I read.”

“Kim,” Chay says, “This could be huge for your family. You may have some sort of reconciliation and be friends with your cousins again after years of animosity.”

“I’m not going to get my hopes up, but that sounds nice.” Kim says, but it is apparently not enough.

“Kim. Call your brother. See how he's doing.”

Kim glances up at Chay, “It sounds like he is probably on the phone.”

Chay points at Kim's phone and keeps staring at him, “Try. If he doesn't pick up, ask him to get a hold of you later.”

“Or I can just call him later,” Kim counters, “Or talk to him when I get home.”

Chay lets out a huff, “I'm nosy, P’Kim! I want to know what's going on now! I'm invested, just like Hia is invested in us, as well as Arm and Khun-”

“Pretty sure ArmKhun is his top ship now,” Kim says with a shrug, “And there is no romance between Kinn and Vegas, so it isn't really comparable-”

“Maybe I get more invested in toxic family dynamics than I am in romantic couples!” Chay says, then literally rolls over Kim to grab the phone before handing it to him, “Call him. Now.”

#progression preview #progression 22 #kimchay fic #kinnporsche fanfic #kimchay fanfic #progression spoilers #I may share a second preview #i just started writing and felt like sharing what i have so far lol

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erinnkenobi · 1 year

Text

Fall into me | chapter three

"The saddest thing in life and the hardest to live through, is the knowledge that there is someone you love very much whom you cannot save from suffering.." — Agatha Christie

Chapter one - Chapter two - Chapter three

pairing | Spencer Reid x fem!reader

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢 | Things changed after Spencer was taken hostage.

"There was no sun in my sky, No mirrors for monsters, and No love in sight. Then you walked down those stairs And I knew my heart wasn't mine"

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 | +7.3k sorry not sorry hon' and good lucky

TW 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 | bad English, inappropriate language, awful situation, mention of drugs, addiction, mental health awareness, comfort in each other, reader has trust issues, kidnapping, episodes set No way out and Revelations all from season two

Author's note | hope you enjoy and don't kill me, I didn't reviewed the story.

Seriously that you got a call early in the morning? You begrudgingly get up and do what you need to do, you call your neighbour that is usually awakened at this time and ask I'd she could look after your dog for certain periods, to which she agreed.

Arriving at the BAU, you meet the new agent, Agent Prentiss, you have heard this name once, nevermind.

The moment you saw what JJ was showing on the screen, you got it, you have watched plenty of sci-fi movies and action films, it was a biological weapon, but you said nothing since Prentiss started showing off her skills in Arabic, it surprised everyone, but Hotchner face didn't flinch a move.

Well, you know a couple of languages and you still learning in the middle of the night when you're alone while watching a TV show or film by making you company, however since Spencer's visits turned out to be oftentimes, you haven't progressed a lot. The new agent sees smart and hard-working, but as you can notice by her corporal movements, she wants approval.

Hotchner said that you would come with him and Morgan, letting Spencer, Gideon and Prentiss go for Guantanamo Bay. You were not happy, but he's the boss.

–So, see you later?-you say before Spencer left for the Airstrip.

– Yeah, I hope you'll come with us again soon, Gideon seemed not that happy when Hotchner told him that Prentiss would come with us.

– I hope he doesn't scare her.-yo usar playfully, but you're hurt, you weren't made to work in the actual camp, therefore it didn't matter anymore, Hotchner noticed that you could do well in both ways as well as Gideon noticed too, you remained calm and centred, even in the worst possibilities.

But what no one knows is when you come back home, what is inside your mind when you can't show what you want to do right after those awful cases that your team solved? An incoming headache is foreseen, soon or later it will come and you shall crumble.

In a glimpse of time Spencer saw your mien drop off, he stared at your defensive eyes.

– Is something bothering you?-he forgets about his shyness and touches your should, making you look at his face, and your cheeks start burning.

– Ehm... What? NO no no, nothing is bothering me, just I don't think what they're saying is the real issue, there's something more behind it.

– I know, wait.-he still staring at you.– What did you mean by something more? Do you think it's a...

– Spencer, five minutes ended! We're going now.-you give Spencer a weak smile.

– Go and be safe, see you.

– Same thing, be safe OK.

– I'll be, Morgan always says I'm a child so as a parental figure, he says he'll keep out of trouble, I mean, not getting myself harmed.

Spencer wanted to put you in safety, he'd like to come and let you safe, so nothing could harm you even when it wasn't his area.

–Spencer!

–If we don't catch up on time, you know when I'll meet you!-he quickly says before halting away from ye

–Go quickly!

–Bonnie Ryan

[...]

– Agent y/l/n.

[...]

– They must have done escape drills.-Hotchner walks away while Derek followed him, you stood still looking around if you could catch any missing points, then you follow their voices to a room where you saw the bio equipment, while Hotchner and Derek are describing the supposed unsub or gangsta and where they might attack.

–Any ideas y/l/n?-Hotchner suggest and you gestured with a more or less.– What do you think it is?

– Don't judge me in a bad way, but what if it is a bioterrorist weapon? I don't know what ingredients are inside but it doesn't seem just what we see on the surface.

The DEA agent is not happy, not with you of course, but with the statement, if it's a bioterrorist weapon, they must solve it quickly. Hotchner and Morgan said nothing until Morgan found a papel, a list filled with chemical components.

You snoop beside his body, not as subtle as he sees yet he let's you check.

Well, you forgot almost all chemistry classes you took while at school, it doesn't make any less dumb, but what you have just seen froze you.

When Morgan gets what Garcia told him, he first turns his head at you with a worried face, you were right, it wasn't a simple thing that you guys were putting your hands on.

– Are you sure? All right.

– What'd she say?

– Garcia says this looks like a list of additives needed to weaponize anthrax.-and you did it again, Hotchner's eyes are filled with panic even if his face stood as a

Inside the car with Hotchner and Morgan, you're paying attention to Hotch's phone call with JJ.

–[...] And notify Gideon and Reid.-you hear a small okay from JJ, Hotch look at Morgan and Morgan turns to you.

– Are you ready, kid?-your mind says no, yet your mouth betrayed you faster than a blink.

– Yeah, are we going now?

– Right now.-finishes Hotch.

When JJ warned the others about you going with 'em to seek this dangerous place, Reid's heart skipped a painful beat.

Inside the van of The Omega cell with all the right devices you searched along with Morgan for anything that could lead you to a clue, you stopped in your track muttering something under your breath, you felt panic through your veins, you touch Morgan's arm.

–What?

– This is a trap.-you alert with a muffled voice, but Morgan didn't hear you.

– What?

–This.is.a.trap.

– How do you...

[Guantanamo bay]

Reid changes glances between the screen and the unsub hands.

-Something's wrong. His hands.-he reports the man's behaviour.

[...]–Is that Hotch?-Gideon asks while hasting.

– What's the problem?

– Get everybody out of there. Now. NOW. Now.-Gideon demands.

–Everybody out! It's a trap. Now!

You glare in fear at Hotch orders, you just feel Morgan grabbing yoyourand as quickly as possible dragging you out with no problems, soon as you all get out of the container you feel your body being pushed away and a man screaming, but your hears are all buzzing here and there, your body felt weak with suddenly explosion and hot air while pieces from the container were all flying around near ye all, lucky you that Morgan was dragging you before any damage could be done.

The three of you were together when agent Ryan begins chatting, she's sad, you've lost a S.W.A.T member, why they couldn't listen to you for a second? If they heard you all of you would be alive. Morgan after Garcia calls off to apologise, you feel your eyes burning with anger and sadness, you could have done more, you should have screamed that it was a trap, but with your fear you just told Morgan, barely audible.

–[...] Not yet.-Hotch finished his talking with the DEA agent.

[...]

When Spencer and Prentiss heard what happened at Guantanamo, Spencer was all worried, his hands holding tightly a paper scrap. If Prentiss noticed? Yeah, but she choose silence, she knew, she can't just ask "Hey, are you okay? The girl what is she for you? You can call her and see if she's okay if you don't mind" out of nowhere since she met them less than a day.

– Are they okay? Is she okay?-Spencer asks Gideon when he turns off the phone, Gideon ignores the second question.

–we were right about the trap. It was rigged to explode. A SWAT agent died.

Spencer could finally breathe, unfortunately, you guys lost a swat agent, there's no word to describe a loss but since he didn't know whose the person was, he couldn't feel much.

[Break time]

You huffed stressed, when you arrived in BAU, and with no time you're dragged again inside the car with Hotch and Morgan, really? On the back/rear seat again?

– Thank you. We just got a lead

–So we did get a name?-you ask with hope.

–And an address.-Morgan complete.

After the FBI agents get out of that house, they explained what they saw, you just could feel your stomach churn in despair, we're too late.

As you thought, you three come back inside the car.

[...]

Shopping scene.

Your heart was racing when you start running heading towards the security room with Hotch.

You saw how stressed Hotchner was when he reported the men's localisation to Morgan, the minute after this you tried to calm down Hotchner which you did a great job, affirming that his wife probably cancelled the photography shoot with his son, because, according to you, she'd like to do it with her family together.

– Thank you kid, it was such a stressful day.

– A stressful case Sir.-you cross your arms breathing.–Gladly our team were able to finish 'em, you can go back home and hug your family.-he returns you with a soft yet weak smile, that man need a good sleep.

– I'll make sure to listen to you more, Morgan told me you, the minutes before the explosion that you have warned him that something was oddly and all the cases before it too.

– Thanks sir, but now, what do we do now?

– We should head home kid.

[...]

I'm an adult, geez, why do they call me kid or child!

–Nala, do you think Am I a kid?-she barked, you felt a pang into your heart.-No no Nala, mommy is an adult woman, right?-the dog hides it's face under its paws, you just stare at her.

You cannot believe, your own dog getting doctrinesed against you.

–What a meanie.

The day was stressful and you needed a good nap after a good warm shower and Spencer couldn't show up, since they arrived late that day, he didn't mean to bother you.

[...]

SEX, BIRTH, DEATH

Spencer is in a hurry while drawing a boy profile on his notebook, he almost bump in JJ, his hands were moving as the flash as it could possibly do, he picked up the phone talking with someone, minutes before it you were talking with Gideon when you saw your friend agitated.

– What's popping?-you cheerfully ask, but when he answers you weren't spectating for it.– Okay I'm out of this case.

– Oh no, you will come.-Spencer says.-Right, Gideon?-the confidence in Spence eyes made Gideon only nod, he never saw it, not even when playing chess.-Told you.

You two hastens away from them, and Gideon gives a forth look at you both and back then at JJ.

– What's happening between these two?

– I don't know Sir, as far as I know, they're friends with odds way in demonstrating it.

– Friends... I see, if you say, I don't mind, is not my business anyway, call Hotch and tell him he should come with us to the dead-house.

[...]

Oh my J. Why are you there staring at a woman dead body? ok, you knew ehy you were here, because a special lad dragged against your will, but why they needed you in this case? Dummy girl, you thought to yourself, 'because you're part of their team'

Hence, as you can see, complaining wouldn't help much, wake up and start working, you noticed the woman body and if Spencer is 100% right, the boy that had done it is mad mad, could only be a boy in a sophomore year or a first year university student, but your money's is on the first option, yet your guts don't lie, there's something odd.

While you were heading back to BAU, you complained.

– Why you needed me?

– Because yes, and besides this poor affirmation, did you noticed something?

– We will need to see Garcia and check up, but I bet the boy you met is a horny boy with a wretched mind, but my guess is, he's might be a sophomore year student.

– Okay, but why sophomore year?

– Ill give you a simple answer, because its the horny age, Spence.-he gasped.

– Oh okay, but I don't think it affects everybody at this age.-yeah Spencer, I can believe.-I never.

– Neither did I, but as far as I can know my friends had done a lot of stupid things while I were studying.

–O, gotcha, though I never had friends.

– Okay, okay, do I need to repeat it again? I'm your bestie right now, what is in the past, must stay in the past ok.-you couldn't notice at first(because you were looking at the pavement movement)but what you said made he open a wide smile

– Right, let's see Garcia.

[...]

Time flies by and BAU is getting the unsub out of hands, now after the sixteen years old girl death you've been set to work with Garcia, you both less than 10 minutes found what Spencee wanted, as a reward suddenly out of nowhere, Reid kisses your forehead while he held your cheeks happily as soon he rushes out of the room leaving you with a speechless shocked face and a shocked Garcia growing with slowly a mischievous grin.

–What the heck have I just seen?

–Don't make me questions that I can't answer.

...

You're passing by Reid table, he called you but you were with your purse on hands ready to go home, when Garcia stopped you holding your arm.

–We're hitting town tonight, you two, let's go.

– I don't feel like the a good company tonight, sorry.

– Neither do I, my precious hacker.-you Tey to fawn her, but you won't get out.

–Hm nope, you two, don't make me bring both of you by force, good boy.-she says when Spencer gives up getting up.

–I don't when drink, my dear!

–Then I pay you a soda.-Spencer continues, making Garcia proud.-What!? Why are you looking at me like that?

– Because I'll rip your bashful smile out of your face.

–Don't brag sweetie, we are going now -Garcia dragged you outside.

However when you arrived near the car Spencer got a call and his cheerfully smiled dropped in seconds.

–What happened??-you came closer him, but he opens the back seat door of Penelope's car, he makes you get inside and then rushed to Garcia.

–It's Nathan.

°°°

After what happened with the boy, Spencer left with Gideon while Penelope were being comforted by Morgan, and you, well with the wind, you shake your head getting out of there going to the nearest bus stop, when the bus arrived you heard your name being called but you were already in.

When you arrived in home you put all of your clothes in the washing machine and took a good shower ready to sleep, the panic and blood that you saw this week were enough, but as you're an unfortunate person someone rang your house's bell. Before opening the door you check who's the visitor, if is an unknown you would call Nala and pick up your gun, but all what you see is a pale Spencer, you mentally shrugs but open your door.

–Hey, you shouldn't be here after what happened, you should've be at..-y/n is interrupted by a tight hug that almost made her fall on the floor, confused you trust in your guts and just held his hug the warmest way possible.-Shushh, it's okay, it's okay, Spence, what we saw today it's over now, right?-He kept holding you in his arms, you thought Gideon calmed him over past hour, but as you can see, Spencer is here, his hands trembling as hell.

You had to force him sit down on your sofa and drink a calming tea, not coffee for tonight, Spencer apologised for his abruptly visit but he also remarked that he'd told uou earlier that day he'd come to you house, it's was awkwardly after the hug because you didn't know what to say when you and he shared minutes that seemed hours staring at each other. You moved haste first, holding his hand and making him sit down while you were preparing the tea.

Nala leant her head on his lap, which seems to distract him, that's a good girl.

After the tea, Spencer quickly sleeps on your comfy large sofa, which causes you to cover him up, you mutter lowly to Nala.

–Keep an eye on our boy girl, mom will sleep too.

And after that day, something happened in both heart's, but no one would do anything, not now.

Spencer had been visiting you lately at night times, you never asked why he's coming when you both finish your cases, because deep down, his company doesn't make you feel lonely, not ignoring Nala's existence, but having another human near, laughing and telling secrets and stories could never be replaced, even if that person its always bringing you scientific facts.

....

Derek Morgan's case close — you were mad at everybody, you were paired to work with Garcia, check as quick as possible to get your friend out of his prison. You couldn't believe either Hotch or Gideon were doing, how could be all of them fools, the moment you realised was the same moment you read the letter that Carl Bufort sent to the judge, your tears were burning your eyes and cheeks, Garcia asked worried why you were crying, she never saw you crying like this, eyes filled with a quiet anger.–"Hon' what happened, why are you crying? This is just a letter".–"Garcia... Haven't you noticed why Derek never told us about his past? Is because he have a scar, a deep scar that is private, why do you think he doesn't wanna us to know, I'd feel the same.Yet your friend couldn't understand.–"Garcia...All the clues have dots and those dots links each other" when she connected then her face fell.

The case went by and you two said anything, you'd didn't wanted to make Morgan sad or get him angry, since the stress of this case, this is a matter that isn't your place to say anything if the person wants to forget about their scars, thing that Gideon and Hotch unfortunately opened again, you know, somehow it was needed yet in a unpleasant way.

...

No way out (part 1 of 2)

Nala is the star of this episode, your brave girl helped a lot, you didn't enter the house, your dong sniffed something as she ran you followed and alerted everybody foretelling that you found the trailer, you dog haven't enter3d but barked, Hotchner came in first, then Spencer, Prentiss and you the last, your eyes googled in dread and further you see more your stomach churn, Spencer approached you pulling you out of the car, he seemed pale as a ghost.

–Are you okay?- you ask him first.

...

After that case, Spencer was once again at your house, eating and watching something you didn't know what it was, you didn't complain, seeing him distracted and calmer is enough, after dealing with that psychopath who still ran away right above your nose, twas enough.

You sat beside him, giving him a tea cup, while you were sipping your mug with coffee and milk mixed, he stares at the tea cup followed by your coffee mug.

–Why tea?

– You need rest.

– I can sleep by drinking coffee, your coffee is good.

– Caffeine is considered to be a stimulant, which means it increases activity in your brain and nervous system. It also increases the circulation of chemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline in the body. In small doses, caffeine can make you feel refreshed and focused, yet beyond that I surely consider, enough for you today.-he stares at you with those eyes of an abandoned dog that has given up pestering, you were right and he tasted his own poison.

– If this is the reason, you should've a cup of tea then.

– Milk softens the effect of caffeine and despite of it, coffee gives me a reverse effect, I usually get sleepy when my belly is warm.

He roll his eyes with a tiny smile while his head hangs back.

– I can't really believe in what I have heard.

– It's up to you mate, wether you like it or not, this is what happens.

You guys stays in a silent for a couple of minutes when until he question you:

– How you can do that?

– Do what specifically?

– You never flinch when you see mutiled bodies, dead bodies either being of a woman or a child.

With it your body language changed, you tensed reflecting about it, it's true, every case when you're exposed to dreadful backgrounds, your face is neutral, your eyebrows and shoulders just tenses and recoil, you're always with a cheerfully smile, lightning the room even when you stay shut saying nothing only when you have something. Why and how can you just simply act as if nothing happened as each case passes by worsening than the latest case?

Your mind turned numb, your eyes for seconds with no light, Spencer panicked seeing your silence, you usually snaps back.

– Sorry, you don't need to answer if you ...-you tilt your head toward him.

– Honestly or the basic resume?-he hesitated before looking at your eyes.

– The first one.

– Honestly, I don't know since when I'm like this, I think it's because I don't want to be seem as a weak person, as well I either flinch or cry, I shall not show it, because inside of my head it shows me how weak I am.-Spencer halts his cup of tea on the small table near the sofa, with a quick move he approached his body near your, side by side.

– Why do you say that? Flinching is not a demonstration of weakness nether crying showing them doesn't make you any less brave, in my opinion, it just shows that you're a human and that you care ..

– You didn't get it Spence, before I make it at the BAU, I saw plenty of things that followed my dreams turning them into nightmares, I couldn't even sleep, always crying and in the next morning Id have to put on a makeup so none would noticed that I've been crying the whole night and my mental health wasn't getting any better, but then some episodes later...-his attention is all on you.- Some how I manage to surpress everything that scared me, because I thought to meself, this is the career I've chosen and I shouldn't be scared or surprised anymore, cuz deep down I knew what would happen. I've built a China's wall around my feelings and that why I try my best at not showing you guys any reaction, I longed for become my strongest version of meself.

Spencer took mental notes about what you said and he understood the meaning of all of this, but he also knew you're not all good up here (mind) and that it might be a little fucked up, he gives you a tender smile, his hand struggled but he messed your hair making you frown, what he really wanted to do was stroke your loosen hair, but well, he's such a gentleman.

– What was it?

– Nothing, by the way, I think you should, step by step if you'd like, show more reactions when we see dreadful things, you know, when you don't do it you make all if us look silly.

– Oi! I'm not the only one doing it, Hotchner barely changes his humour and the new agent also never flinch and I mean, mo offending.

– You understood what I meant, don't compare yourself with the others, there's only a Morgan as so I have only one y/n.-you bubbly laugh.

– After my dim statement you managed to make me laugh, you have an odd way to flatter me Spence.

– Just because your mind is different from others.-you lean in, catching by surprise with such closeness.

– Why? You're saying Am I weird?

– No! Well, I mean, only if you consider me weird as well, because the way your mind works is same as mine, different, oddly.-you back off still staring him with a sassy smile, around him you naturally have a side smile spread.

– Two weirdos then, cheers.-Nala is sleeping when you get up.– If you still coming at my door at night I think I should buy a new bed and put in my office so you could sleep properly while you're resting here.-he urgently denies.

– There's no need for it, if you want me to leave, I'll leave rig..-he stands up faster than you thought.

– Heck no! Back off genius, you're staying with me tonight and in any night time you'd want, you're always welcome Spence, I was just joking silly boy.

– Ah... So I'm nor leaving?

– If you dare to put a toe out my doorstep, I'll drag you inside by your hair.–Spencer begins to laugh sitting again on the couch, inside you something stirred, you'd like to ask him, why is he always coming at your door, doesn't he thinks that you're boring?

Spencer noticed you dull expression, you're thinking in something, because when you're doing it, he knows you lost yourself in your thoughts being em not very pleasant.

– I'd pay billions of dollar's to know what's inside your mind right now.-he snaps you out of your reality.

–What? Were you profiling me right now?-you scoffed a laugh arms crossed.

– Kind of, what you were thinking?

Nothing important you'd say, but you rather started an another subject.

– Do you wanna visit my little piece of heaven? I think I haven't shown you where I work when I ain't at the BAU.-Spencer again quickly haste from the sofa, making you giggled, you show him the way past the hall going up the brief staircase to a singular door made of polished wooden. – When I was a child I've always dreamed of having my little special place so I could run in and stay safe.

– Are you sure you want to share it with me then?-you violently nod with a pout.

– You're my very being person, Spence, you're my best friend.-his heart doesn't want only it.– And I haven't been a good hostess, I just showed you the loo, kitchen and living room, except the most exciting part of my residence.

– Go on.-he anxious yearns, what's behind the door? So this is the space you do your things? It's the place you are comfortable in, it's your special place, it means a lot for you.– You're making me interested and curious.

Saying nothing more you open the door revealing what behind the door, his face just enlighten with the view, getting in before you in excitement, Reid its definitely on cloud nine, his fingers began to do theirs strange movements when he's thinking as well his tongue.

Behind the door you have hidden a mix between where you'd called it a mix between an office and a library, high bookshelves with loads of book yet there's still space to fit more of em and in the center there's an office table with your PC sided by a laptop aside by a lampshade, your office chair in position, near one of the bookshelves there's there's a comfy armchair beside it a couch-rest bed, where your body fits perfectly but not Spencer, if he'd want to use he'd have to shrink a wee.

– Book!-he's already checking on them like of he was a little boy fan of dinosaurs visiting a paleontology museum for the first time seeing his favourites stuffs.-You have never interested me more.– and his heart and brain comes to terms, he wanna marry you, when? He doesn't knows, but he'll even not knowing what to do with it.– And you hide it from me, how dare you.-you look astonished coming closer his side.

– You know, I thought you'd find me weird

– More than people think about meself? Not in a hundred times, that's the place you find come to work, study and also relax?-you positively nod making his heart beat faster.

– Here's where I can find an escape, mainly when I'm alone after arriving home due to a stressful work day also when you don't come, I stay here until I fall asleep, I think the day I marry, if I marry and don't get killed, I'd like to buy a bigger house just to have a library inside home and don't mix with office business.

Reid is holding a handcover book, turning his entire body in front of you. The moment you mentioned marriage, buying a bigger house and make a library stirred his being.

– Do you wanna marry some day?

– Pretty boy, who doesn't? But if I don't find anyone worth of my love in the future, my prince and his dark horse, Imma just marry myself.-he falls into a laugh, you're unbelievable.- What? Why are you laughing at me?

– The mind of yours have an enchanting way to catch me off guard.-you gasp, he isn't cooperating with you when he's just simply and bluntly tells you what he thinks, making your heart skip a beat, it's unfair.

The more you make him laugh, open a wide smile, listen to him when he's telling unfortunate facts or fun facts, make him feels out of breathe when you walk in saying good morning or good night, the more you make him skip a heart beat, the more your intimacy growths.

It should be illegal, your mere existence should be illegal, he's not safe around you.

[Revelations]

In this case you stayed with Gideon and Spencer, but along the way everything started to crumble.

Garcia couldn't access the serial killer's IP, this issue were giving to everyone a headache the killer was a psychotic, a sick person who was commenting crimes desecrating sacred verses from the Bible for Christians in his every murder case.

Albeit everything begins downhill when Spencer and JJ were sent to go to Hankel's house

When they found JJ, only her returning from the mission, you for the first time in one of the cases with the BAU, you stepped back, your heart races as Sonic were in a desperate hurry, yet it did not allow you to cry, you could only tremble when everyone went searching for clues to find Reid.

However nothing was working, why!? Why!?

Until the video reaches you and Penelope also joins in person with everyone at Hankel's house, seeing him in that chair made your body tense, an anger you hid for so long, one of the feelings you deprived for long years for her to be sane as well as the sadness that filled her heart at seeing Reid so vulnerable.

You couldn't take it and left the room, Prentiss after the video was over went to comfort you and you, the person who seems a little difficult to hug, hugs her, that showed how fragile you were.

Prentiss wasn't the only one, JJ too, but you didn't want to forgive her, she should have stayed together with him, they both should have stayed together, she could have taken care of him, but here she was.

Of course! You don't really blame her, I was just as in shock as you are and if I were you in her shoes I'd understand, her empathy was sometimes a pain in the ass and sometimes a blessing.

Morgan and Penelope went to talk to you shortly thereafter, both to reassure and to see if you were still in a position to stay on the case and you said that you wouldn't go anywhere without seeing until Reid is safe and sound.

Every minute when you were with them and alone, you try to stay positive, attracting only good things like "Spencer will be saved, he'll be in safety soon, we will find him, you'll find him"

You could barely sleep, even when you closed your eyes to sleep, your anxieties were still awake

And it was then that after the dead couple you gave up, you decided to help Penelope, not knowing that it could work, you took a local map and tried to memorize a bit of what you saw of the video, the place behind what it was

The time now was your worst enemy, the sand in the hourglass reaching to its limits, a valued time that you didn't have, that Spencer didn't have

You didn't know how long he could stand being in the hands of that crazy Raphael, you just wanted to cry, but the tears didn't fall, not while everyone could hear, leave them for later

Garcia told you to rest and you agreed, but when everyone went to sleep, you returned, sleep could not take effect as your mind was dominated by adrenaline

You stayed up all night again until everyone was surprised to see you with the exhausted look and a bad mood, but you got something in the middle of the night, yet it barely escaped your hands and you told Garcia, she asked how it is you only managed to say "I don't know how I let it slip, but I was so close to find"

Before the nightfall you captured the signal and IP address of that video, you managed to decode whatever your input was, as if it were a plague of locusts that wiped out the entire corn crop, quickly and decisively.

You trembled and stuttered with words while the map was in your held, the map that you manually drew on the computer screen and handed to your team.

— "I found it, I I I saw the details behind the doorstep, there's trees and a graveyard nearest, please, just believe me without making question when we don't I have time, is a damnit gun shoot deep in the dark, but I'm sure we will find our boy"

And then you fainted, Morgan's arm quickly held you when your body and consciousness betrayed you, Morgan had to carry you to a bed and lay you on it, right after all of they left to find Spencer while a cop were looking after you.

You couldn't sleep well, you didn't even were able to sleep, then your body claimed for its well deserved rest when your work is done.

Reid is rescued, all of em were relieved when they saw him alive, in a bad and desperate state but alive, godforsaken, all seemed so relived when your guidance leaded them at the right place

Hankel got shot, anyway

Spencer was so weak, he was a definition of a mess, a mix of feelings that he couldn't even describe, seeing the whole team coming for his rescued. All the tight hugs he received, except one, yours.

– Where's y/n? Why she's not with you?- he asks Gideon who huffs in worry.

– Agent y/l/n fainted before she could make it.-he became paler than he was, he babbled.

– W What!? What happened with her, is she okay? Is she safe?

– Safer than she could possibly be, kid, she found your localisation, Garcia told us she barely could rest, she stayed up all night, she haven't grip a nap then her body claimed for its own rest when it recognised that her work was done. -Gideon pat his shoulder, let's go home boy.

So it means, because of you, he is safe now, not in a condition indeed yet alive he remains.

– Can I have... Can I have a second alone?-Gideon didn't wanted, but his lips shrink agreeing.

And then, Reid comes back and took the drugs.

Then the weekend came, at 06 a.m you left your house in which you dedicate this time to walk your dog. Your mind filled with the scenes of Reid being captive, you haven't seen he since then.

You returned home an hour and thirty minutes later, took a good shower and then left again, but Nala stayed at home this time.

You went to a shooting club, you have calmly put on the headphone protectors while you loaded your gun looking at the target(using eyes protectos too), the first shoot in the left side of the chest straightforwardly in the lungs was enough to make your mind weak against the demons that you once make a oath that you would never let em win you mind over.

A flashback knocked down your mind guard.

Unknown years ago

Before working for the BAU at Quantico you used to work in London before your transference and recommendation letter, you used to be just like Garcia, without the twisted nicknames, an assistant rookie with your work friend, they used to be your best friend, until the day they had been take as hostage, you truly tried, yes you did, every effort to make em get out that situation, racing against a time you barely had.

She got shot, the right in the middle of its head, you saw the photos and you blamed yourself for that day, you should've be at they side, you'd do anything to be in their place, yet they wouldn't return, but what freaked you out was knowing that your another colleague were a traitor that also made the trap which get your friend killed, how could you let it happen?

That was the very case that you got yourself into depression, no one could be trusted enough, they'll bite you back. After their death, you couldn't stop sobbing nor crying when you're left alone in your flat, but you had to fake it, because if people from work felt that something is up with you, they would make you resign and go to therapy or a psychiatric, well, you should've go but you didn't, so you faked every single day the most brightest smile, covering the wounds that the past left in your life.

And seeing that same scene after those years happening with Spencer, your mind entered in a frenzy, too much for your poor heart.

"- not again please."

You felt a gentle hand touching your forearm snaped you out of your mind.

–Are you all right kid?-it was Morgan voice, what is he doing here? You thought.

–W...What? Wait, what are you doing here?- you put down the gun.

– Sometimes I come here to de-stress, I think you're doing the same, but you look awful.

– Thank you for the compliment.-you replied grumpy.

– Easy girl, but since you're here, wanna bet just to see who shoots better?

– You're making my hour worth now.-you take a deep breath.-And don't tell the others that you saw me here, none need to know my whereabouts when I'm enjoying my weekend.

– Not even Garcia and Reid?

– If they ask, you can, but they won't, I'm boring and let me be boring in the weekends.-Morgan denies with a smiling face nod.

– Whatever the little princess wants.-you shyly smile.-But I think you should visit Spencer after getting out of here.-your eyes googled at him, Reid isn't okay? Of course he isn't but you don't want to bother him.

–Why should I? Have something happened?

– You're his friend, I dear to say the closest and that would understand his geeky speeches, besides it I think something is popping inside his mind.-your eyes softens, your heart just listening about his name and what might be happening give you such a pang in the heart.

– I don't want to bother him.

– Bother him?-Morgan loads his gun.-I think, besides me of course, you're like the one that make that boy smile in a way that I, as a common person with a common sense could sense that he loves you when you're around.-your cheeks starts to warm-up, you load you gun once again.

– Don't say things that you might be wrong.

– I used to say the same about your guesses and in the end, you 95% was right.

– Where is 5%?

– I am a proud man kid, I have to maintain my esteem.-you laughed.

– Okay, I'd visit him anyway, but thanks for explaining your thoughts, you might be 100% right.

– Then let's see who's better with a gun.-he declared.-Beware girl, I'll win.

–What a cocky conclusion and, please, tell me where Spencer lives, I forgot his address.

– It's a matter of fact that I'll win and ok, after our deal, I'll give his address, ready or not, there I go.

Well, Morgan won and as a prize, he asked you to bring your special brownies.

You just lose for a slightly difference, Ouch, with a pout on your face you left heading towards home, but in the middle of your track you remembered and as you were not far away from his home, you changed your route.

You toc-toc his door, arm's crossed anxiously waiting, what would you say? You have no subject to talk about, and you're also afraid what are you supposed to do with your visit.

You knocked again and no response again, you inhale and toc one more time.

–Reid, please, open the door..-you're giving up.- Reid I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when they rescued you, I am really but you know, I really wanted to make it, so please open the door and then shuts it again, I know that friends are supposed to support each other in their darkest times, Reid if you don't want to see me because of this, I'll leave, but you won't get rid of me that easi..-And then the angels answer came, the door is wide open as your eyes due to the suddenly action.– What th...

You're caught off guard, because the moment Reid opened his door, pushed you in closing the door behind him,he quickly pulled you into his embrace, holding you in as if you were a precious dragon's gold, and he'd be the dragon in his most desperate way to protect what belongs to it. Although this isn't the real meaning of all of his action.

Reid tightly hugs you, notnwant to letting you go and in a moment of shock you did nothing, but then your gentle hands fondle his back soon turning in a reciprocal hug, if he takes off your lung ait, you'd let.

– Thank you , thank you and thank you again.-he whispers under his breath, fraught in his voice. You had to shut down your eyes.-You saved me, I know the others did the same, but you found me, you found me y/n, and I'll be always grateful for it, I owe you and I'm so sorry...What I did when I chos..

– Shhh... It's okay, It's okay, I'm here and you didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing to apologise for.-you slowly untangled of his hug, just to hold his hand gently stating into his eyes, you hardly do this, you can't keep it for a long period.

His deep red eyes with the bags under his eyes, steaming glowing eyes, he sniffing his nose to not cry, his vulnerable state, his soft hair all in disorder.

Your face trembled, seeing he in this way, how to control your own breathing? You should be strong, you're always have been the strongest, even when you crumbled.

But you couldn't say much, your lips shavers when you tried to say something or smile, your bidy shifted the weight side to side, as you opened your arms, inviting to another hug, as if this action speak for itself: "Hush now, it's alright, you're no longer alone." And Reid hugged you again, a mix of gentle, starved touch of a hug.

Morgan was right, he needed you.

Hence the moment Reid saw you in his doorstep, and heard everything that you were saying (he was in the bathroom until he recognised your voice) he knew that his heart was no longer his to keep.

Tag list:

@amateur-author597

@corpsebridenightamare

#imagines #Spencer reid #Spencer Reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid season 1 2 #spencer reid is literally my new standard of a hubbie #spencer reid is my everything

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safetyobstacles · 6 months

Text

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked so hard they had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

#ordem paranormal #osnf #really excited for this tho #first series got me hype #manteiga na manteiga

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what-if-queen-camilla · 10 months

Text

Chapter 12

04th August 1987 - Part 3

The ambulance arrived shortly after and neither the doctor nor the nurse could emphasise often enough just how brilliantly Andrew had done and how proud they all were of them; of course, Camilla was, too, but after both she and the baby had been checked and considered in excellent health, she suddenly felt so tired that she could have fallen asleep immediately. Her daughter, however, had other plans and was desperate for milk. “Yes, you must be hungry, my little darling…”, she whispered to her, tenderly placing her on her chest, guiding her little mouth to her breast. Thank goodness, after two children, she was relaxed and experienced enough so that breastfeeding wasn’t a big deal anymore and after a few minutes, both mother and child fell into a deep, happy sleep…

"Kensington Palace? Yes, Colonel Parker Bowles speaking. May I speak to His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales, please?" Shortly after 8 am, Camilla and Theodora still fast asleep, Andrew had decided that it was time to inform the real father of last night's events and has dialled the familiar number of the pass office of the Royal Residence and much to his relief, he was, indeed, transferred to The Prince immediately. "Andrew? What's the matter? Is Milla alright?", he hissed into the receiver, sounding incredibly anxious. He had quickly disappeared into his office to answer the call without risking his wife overhearing anything and his heart ached in concern about the love of his life and their little baby. "No worries, Sir, they're both fine.", Andrew declared, proudly adding: "Mother and child are as fit as a fiddle." Silence. "Sir?", Andrew asked carefully when the Prince didn't reply. "Um, yes, yes, Andrew, I-I'm sorry…", the heir to the throne stuttered. "I just - can you please repeat what you've just said?" Andrew chuckled. His astonishment and disbelief were almost cute and today of all days, he found almost everything cute. “Of course, Sir! With pleasure!", he exclaimed, almost bursting with pride and joy. "Camilla was safely delivered from a baby girl last night! Well, in fact - I delivered her from the little one - our daughter, I mean, your daughter - oh nevermind, they're both fine so… huge congratulations, Sir! I just thought you might like to be informed…" Charles' heart was beating like mad and his head felt like swirling. He tried to grasp what he had just heard. The baby had arrived. He had become a father once more - the father of Camilla’s child, the love of his life and himself had a daughter! "Oh my God…", he said unbelieving and with a teary voice. "I… I'll try and come over as soon as possible!", he promised. "Thank you, Andrew! Thank you so much!"With that, he hung up and sat down on the chair, almost in shock, but the very sweetest kind of shock imaginable. Camilla and him had a baby! All that he wanted was to go and see them both as soon as possible, to kiss Camilla endlessly for having given him the greatest gift in his entire life, to meet the little one and hold her, tell her how proud her daddy was and how much he loved her already, promise her that he would always be there for her and protect her from all evil… but it was Granny's birthday today as well and they had to go to Clarence House around midday for birthday party… As much as he loved his grandmother, as much did the whole rest of the bunch annoy him; his parents, his brothers, his silly sister-in-law, not to speak of his malicious wife… at least his darling cousins David and Sarah would be there as well and of course all the members of the public who'd be gathering around Clarence House and The Mall to sing Granny a Happy Birthday. How wonderful was it that his daughter and his grandmother were sharing a birthday? Oh how he'd have loved to tell her, it'd surely have been the most wonderful birthday present of all time! But it wasn't possible… he couldn't burden Granny with keeping such a secret, he loved her almost as much as he loved Camilla, and the little one of course, and he couldn't bear putting her in such a situation.

"Highgrove, really? Again?", Diana sighed, rolling her eyes when Charles requested to be picked up by a separate car as soon as the birthday celebrations were over, as they arrived at Clarence House a few hours later. "Yes, Again!", he declared, equally annoyed by her as she had appeared to be by him before. "I need some time on my own and you hate Gloucestershire anyway." "Oh, I really do hate Gloucestershire!", she snarled, looking at him with fiery eyes, but he was determined to keep calm this time, casually answering: "Great! There you go! So that's settled then." With this, he opened the door, swung himself out of the car and went straight over to his Granny who had already been waiting for them, without even looking at his wife anymore. "Happy birthday, darling Granny!", he said, lovingly kissing his grandmother on both cheeks. "Ohhh thank you, thank you, my dear boy.", the Queen Mother replied, obviously very touched and happy about all the attention she received on the occasion of her birthday.

Hundreds, maybe thousands, of well-wishers had lined the streets, excitedly waving to their beloved former Queen, singing for her, cheering her on, presenting her with the most beautiful flowers and posies and of course someone had arranged a birthday cake which she happily cut amidst excited rejoicing by the crowds. It was a jolly good celebration and everybody enjoyed themselves, except for Diana who stood in a corner, pouting. Of course she was upset because, for once, the limelight wasn't on her and she needed the people's attention even more than they needed her, but Charles just tried to ignore her and instead look forward to seeing Camilla and meeting the baby in a few hours. "Charles, darling, could you please help your poor old grandmother with all of these… parcels?", the Queen Mother asked her favourite grandchild, laboriously carrying dozens of cards and bouquets in both her arms. "Of course, Granny!", he replied and immediately rushed to her side to guide her into the house. Of course, they usually had servants for this kind of things but he was more than grateful for every opportunity to get away from the devil. "Are you going to see the Parker Bowleses later?", his grandmother asked as if it was the most normal thing in the world once they were alone. Charles was so perplexed he didn't know what to say. "I hear Camilla has given birth to a baby girl last night.", she chatted away while putting some of her birthday flowers into vases. "The little one and I have the same birthday, isn't that funny?" "Ummm… yes, yes.", Charles replied slightly overwhelmed. It wasn't surprising actually that the news had already reached her as well; Andrew was her godson and surely someone would have told her. But the naturalness she had asked him with whether he was going to see them later was… unexpected. Of course she knew that they'd been a couple once and that they were still close, that Charles was Tom's godfather and all of that… but still. Something about her question felt awkward. "So are you going?", she asked again, looking at him expectantly. Her eyes shone brightly, filled with pure love and happiness, there was nothing evil about his darling Granny, just like there was nothing evil about his darling Camilla… oh how he'd have loved to tell her! "Well, yes, I… I'm going to Highgrove later and I… might drop by in the afternoon.", he said. "Oh wonderful!", the Queen Mother exclaimed, rushing over to her desk, grabbing a closed envelope, handing it to her grandson before turning to the side table where they had just placed several vases with flower bouquets. "Which one do you think she'd like most?", the old lady asked, but didn't wait for him to reply. "Oh, nevermind, just take whichever you think she will like most! And, please, darling, will you give this card to her along with my very best wishes and heartfelt congratulations?" Charles' face immediately brightened up in delight. "Oh Granny!", he almost screamed with teary eyes and enthusiastically wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "Of course, Granny, I will!"

The Queen Mother's birthday celebrations actually did happen on that day. There's also a video of the enormous crowds gathering outside Clarence House.

#king charles #queen camilla #andrew parker bowles #royal family #royal baby #fanfiction #fanfic #queen mother

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matcha-kisses · 24 days

Text

wordcount: 2.1k+

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"Bai, your grandfather is looking for you. I can take you to him." Leang offered , interrupting Zuko and Bai from their conversation.

Bai looked up and noticed how the sky was turning orange and pink. Zuko and Bai spent most of the afternoon in the royal courtyard. Bai told Zuko how she thought the courtyard looked so pretty the night of Azula's party. So, he decided to give her a closer look. Yes, he may have been trying to impress her, but what was he suppose to do? Their afternoon with filled with such fun activities like playing games, asking questions about each other, and feeding the turtle ducks. That was actually Bai's favorite part; they're so cute! So, it made her disappointed knowing her day with Zuko had come to an end. She knows she spent all day with Zuko, but it still didn't feel enough. She wishes she could've spent a little bit more time. But there's always tomorrow, right?

"Oh, okay." Bai pouted.

Zuko couldn't help but to have the same pout Bai did. He wishes she didn't have to leave. He loved having her around.

Bai rose to her feet and walked to Leang. But before she made it, she felt a certain young prince grab her sleeve.

"Bai!"

"Yes, prince Zuko?"

"Um... I will see you tomorrow. And... I had fun today."

Bai felt her heart swell and her tummy do a round of flips. It made her happy knowing that the feeling was mutual.

"As did I, prince Zuko." Bai said, bowing.

Bai felt Leang's hand softly grabbing her own. She knew it was time for her to leave. Besides, Papa was waiting for her. Bai waved one more goodbye to the prince before she was completely out of Zuko's sight.

As Leang and Bai walked to the front of the palace, Bai couldn't help but to smile. She had a wonderful time with Zuko. She thought about how sweet and understanding he was to her. Even if she would say something boring, he'd act like it was the most interesting thing he's ever listened to; He was totally focused in on everything she was saying.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"So, you've never traveled outside of the kingdom before?" Zuko asked.

The truth was Bai's family couldn't because Ming didn't feel safe leaving her home unless it was absolutely necessary. Both Yao and Ming feared that people would gaze upon Ming and know she is of Water Tribe decent. The Fire Nation heard the rumors of a waterbender escaping prison easily, and the couple didn't want to draw any unwanted attention. It would be awful for Ming and Yao if they knew the truth.

But of course, Bai makes up a random excuse. She couldn't tell Zuko this. Although, she believes she could. She knows he'd keep a secret; he says he's very good. But she didn't want to even go down that path.

"Nope! My Papa is very dedicated to work, and it's hard to travel with my Gramma."

"Oh... I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay," Bai cheered. "I like it here!"

"Well, maybe... nevermind."

"What?"

"No, it's stupid." Zuko said. How could he even mention it to Bai!

"No! Tell me."

"Well," Zuko started nervously. "Maybe one day we could go to Ember Island. It's a really fun place! My family used to go all the time!"

Bai couldn't believe what she was hearing. Zuko wanted to go somewhere special with her?"

"Really? You mean that?"

"Of course I do." Zuko said, smiling brightly.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"There's my happy girl!" Yao bellowed.

Bai snapped out of her thoughts and saw her Papa. She hopes he doesn't ask as to why she was smiling.

"Papa!" Bai cheered- running to her Papa and giving him a tight hug.

"I've missed you today button!"

"And I've missed you too! I can't wait to tell you about my day!"

"Well, it is a walk from here to the palace. I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to tell me." Yao said, grabbing Bai's hand and starting their journey home.

"And I won't miss a single detail!"

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Zuko's POV:

"Oh, Zuzu!"

I rolled my eyes at Azula's voice. Of course, after having the perfect day, Azula has to come in and ruin it somehow.

Let's just get this over with. Fast.

"What do you want, Azula?" I griped.

"Wow, you haven't seen me all day, and this is how you talk to me? I thought you were better than that Zuzu."

"Stop calling me that!"

Azula smiled sinisterly. She loved that she was getting to me.

"Well, I was just seeing how was your day with Bai. I overheard some servants and found out you spent all day with her!" Azula sneered.

"Yeah? And what's the big deal." I wasn't going to listen to Azula talked down on Bai. She hasn't did any wrong.

"Well, the big deal is that you obviously have eyes for her! I've never seen you get like this before- not even around Mai."

I wanted to scream in Azula's face, and tell her how wrong she is. But I couldn't bring myself. I think I do like Bai... a lot. She's just all around perfect, and I didn't want someone like her to slip from my grip that easily.

"Aha! I knew it! You do have eyes for her! Which, it's understandable. She is a pretty like-able girl. Ty Lee and Mai like her. Well, not Mai, but I don't have to explain why-"

"Is this going somewhere? And why do you care?" I snapped. I wanted to get away from my sister as fast as I could.

"I'm just saying be careful."

"What are you talking about?" Why would I need to be careful I'm sure Bai isn't the type to hurt other people.

"Father wouldn't be happy if he finds out you like some servant girl. It wouldn't be a good look for the Fire Nation. Oh, I know! Maybe she could be the royal concubine! Father may have an easier time seeing you with a nasty girl than a poor one."

I felt my blood boiling and felt my hands heating up. But I won't snap. I won't give Azula that satisfaction.

"She isn't just some servant girl, and she's not some future concubine. Her name is Bai, and she happens to be one of the best people I've ever met! You're just jealous because you wish you were at least half the girl she is!" I screamed.

"I understand that, Zuzu! All I'm saying is father may not. I'm just looking out for you- no reason to get snippy, brother."

Azula whipped her head and walked in the opposite direction. I let out a sigh of relief. Finally, she was gone.

But I thought of what she was saying. It kept ringing in my mind- over and over again. As much as I hate to admit it, my father would probably have something to say about Bai. It's not that I care of her status because I don't! She's more than just a "servant." She's intelligent, kindhearted, funny, and not to mention beautiful. Which, I guess she was beautiful enough to be a concubine, but I don't want her to do that! I don't want her getting caught up in tag life! Don't even think like that Zuko. The point is that it shouldn't have to matter what Bai does.

But I know that all my father would think about the image of the Fire Nation.

I shook my those wretched thoughts from my head. I won't worry about that- not now at least. I'm just going to back in the joy I feel right now.

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"Ming? Sweetheart?"

"Gramma?"

Bai and Yao has just made it home from work. Usually, Ming would stand at the door, and wait for Yao to come. So, it was a little strange not to see her.

"I wonder where she could be at, Papa."

Yao suddenly noticed a note on the table. He figured it was for Ming. It was probably a note saying she went out to the market or either she took a nighttime walk.

"Bai? Why don't you get a bath and change from those clothes? I'll look around the house to see where Gramma is." Yao offered.

"But, she's here, right?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it my sweet. And she might've just taken a walk. But she's here. She couldn't have gone that far."

Bai nodded her head in agreement and then ran to the bathroom, leaving Yao alone. He walked over to the table where the note sat. He noticed the note was too long for Ming to say she went out for a walk. His hands began to grow cold and sweaty.

It's fine. I'm sure everything is fine.

But everything wasn't fine. Nothing could've prepared Yao for what he saw on that note.

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Bai slipped on her nightgown and took a deep breath of satisfaction. She always love the feeling of getting out of the bath and putting on her soft nightgown.

She walked back to the kitchen- expecting to see Gramma. Surely, she should be back by now, she thought to herself. But when she entered the kitchen, she didn't see Gramma. She only saw saw her Papa- who looked completely heartbroken.

"Papa?" Bai asked nervously.

Yao looked up at his granddaughter. He tried swallowing the lump he felt in his throat and hold back the tears that were begging to slip from his eyes. He wanted to stay strong for Bai. He didn't want her to see that he was breaking. But he couldn't do it; He wasn't strong enough.

Bai started to panic. She's never ever seen her papa get upset like this before. He was the family's rock... but he seems to be breaking.

"What's wrong, papa?"

While Bai was in the shower, Yao tried thinking of ways to break the news without crushing her. However, he couldn't come up with any. He knew that would hurt her no matter what he said. This isn't easy news to tell anyone- especially a child.

"Well... it looks like... it's just going to be us for a while." Yao croaked.

What is he talking about? There's 3 of us! Me, Gramma, and Papa! There can't be just two of us.

"I don't understand. Where's Gramma?"

Yao couldn't say anything. He could only hand Bai the note Ming had left. The note that crushed his soul:

Dear Yao,

I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. It's nothing to do with you or Bai. You are my world and I love you both very much. But I can't live in a here anymore.

I've always felt a longing to be reunited with my people, but I loved you too much. I put our family first and tried thinking what was best for Bai. However, these last few years of war has truly wore me down. I hear the stories you tell me of how Fire Nation soldiers come in and wipe out towns that are full of innocent people. And the worst part is that they have no good reason.

I've been very good and suppressing my feelings and have tried my best at doing so. But I couldn't stand any longer when I found out Bai was getting involved. That's not a path I want to see her go down, but I wasn't going to stop her.

But I couldn't just sit by any longer. So, I have returned back to the South Pole where I hope I can find the internal peace I'm searching for. Please understand I love you and Bai so much. And please tell her to never stop waterbending; it's how I feel connected with her, and how I hope she would feel connected with me.

Your loving wife,

Ming

Bai couldn't say anything. She didn't even feel nothing. The only thing she felt was the tears welling up in her small eyes. She wrapped her small arms around Yao's neck. He pulled his sweet close and held her in his large arms. Bai started sobbing into his neck and couldn't stop the tears from rolling.

"I know. I know." Yao softly spoke.

They didn't say anything for a long time; Yao and Bai just sat in silence, feeling a great amount of lost and sorrow.

And the worst part was, it could never be fixed.

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A/N: I know this chapter was shorter than normal. It’ll go back to being longer, but given how this one was written, it had to be cut a bit shorter.

I really hope you guys are enjoying this story so far! If you’d like to read more of it, it is also available on my Wattpad: matcha_kisses

I am also planning on making an ao3 account, and putting this there as well!