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lucyrose191 · 6 months

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hey i had an idea and i love your seb x reader writing so i wanted to send this to you! driver! reader has a really big accident during a race like shes in a coma for some time seb becomes this completely closed off person but he visits you everyday so one day he comes to the hospital ig and readers heart stopped or something but then she comes back to life and wakes up or she dies idk if they have kids but would be nice if they’re married. idk i leave it up to you just give me some angst pls 🙏🙏🙏

COME BACK TO ME| S.VETTEL

Pairing; Sebastian Vettel x Wife!driver!reader

Summary; Sebastian’s world is turned upside down when he finds out the reason behind the red flag, the aftermath is just as torturous as the moment he got the news.

Warnings; Serious crash (a bit like Jules Bianchi’s), angst, coma, severe injuries, Sebastian’s sad :( Also Kimi and Seb bickering like children.

F1 Master List

It was no secret that Formula One was a dangerous sport, the fans knew it, the FIA knew it and the drivers knew it; but there are decisions that need to be made in order to protect the drivers because their safety should be the number one concern.

So when the FIA decided that that the weather in Suzuka wasn’t severe enough to postpone or cancel the race, pretty much every driver was against getting back on the track, there had already been a crash and to continue was just plain stupid.

Y/N knew that everyone, including the drivers, had their eyes on her. She had won the last few seasons and was the one to beat.

She never had a problem driving in the rain, in fact most of the time it added to the thrill of the race but when you could hardly even see the steering wheel you were holding, it wasn’t fun, it was scary.

She didn’t really know what had happened, she was battling Max Verstappen who had been recently promoted to RedBull; she’s been enjoying the challenge the younger driver is offering her but there were times that she didn’t agree with his decisions, they could be extremely risky and not in a good way, in a way that could cause some serious damage to either him or someone else and it seemed that this time was one of those times that his risks had consequences.

She had been ahead of him when she felt the contact that had been made to the back of her car, it wasn’t light at all, it sent her spinning completely off the track and with the slippery track and the rain continuing to pour she could not stop the car no matter how hard she tried to gain control.

She heard the gasps of the crowd as her car flipped and spun but it faded away as she tried to keep herself from moving about too much in her car; wondering how long it would take for her to stop.

Y/N did stop, eventually, but the moment she felt the contact she knew something was wrong. It felt like she had hit a brick wall, she heard the crumpling of the car’s structure before a pain like no other filled her entire body; her head throbbed and her eyes fluttered closed, her body shrouded by the remains of her car and the heavy rain.

"Red flag, Sebastian, you’re heading into the pits," Riccardo spoke over the radio.

"Fuck sake! I told you guys we shouldn’t have been sent back out here, what happened?" To say he was angry was an understatement, for the FIA to risk the lives of every driver on this track was ridiculous and quite frankly plain stupid.

"What happened, who was it?" He asked again when he wasn’t given an answer, pulling into the pits behind the two Redbulls.

"There’s been a crash, no response," Riccardo vaguely replied.

Sebastian sighed in frustration at the lack of information and detached his steering wheel, pulling himself out of the car, he didn’t even have time to pull his helmet off before Max was walking up to him and grabbing his arms.

"Seb I’m so sorry, I lost my grip and I couldn’t control it and we just collided-"

Sebastian shook his head, cutting Max off. "What are you talking about, what happened?"

Max simply stared at Seb for a moment, guilt filling his entire body as he realised Sebastian had absolutely no idea. "Seb, it’s Y/N…."

It was as thought the world had stopped turning, Max’s voice had faded away along with the sound of the crowds and everything else around him, the only thing he heard were his racing thoughts as he remembered Riccardo’s words.

No response

He looked up at the big screen that was showing the wreckage live, his heart dropped, the car was completely crushed and she was still in it.

He saw as a few of the Marshalls looked towards the ground briefly before looking into the direction of the camera as they all started making the same gesture, not even a minute later the screen was shut off so that no one could see what was happening.

Sebastian didn’t register his feet moving or the drop of Max’s hand from his shoulder but the next moment he was storming into the Mercedes garage demanding for some sort of information.

If it was any other driver entering their garage without permission they would’ve been immediately kicked out but knowing that Sebastian was here for no other reason that to know if his wife was okay they didn’t mention the red race suit that stood out against everyone else’s black and white uniform.

Seeing that Sebastian was simply stood there, seemingly not knowing what to do, Toto walked over to him and directed him away from his team so that they could talk.

"There was no response over the radio so we can assume that she’s unconscious, she went into that barrier at an incredible speed and the from the damage we can see there’s no way she isn’t injured in some way so she’s going to be airlifted to the nearest hospital, okay?" He spoke in a low voice so that no one could hear besides the two of them.

Sebastian made no indication that he had registered Toto’s words but he did swallow thickly before simply walking away and making his way into his own garage; he didn’t speak to anyone, instead heading straight to his drivers room.

He has taken the quickest shower of his life and changed into regular clothes, he had no intention of getting back into that car this weekend and if anyone expected him to then they were delusional.

As soon as he walked through the doors of the hospital he was approached by an older looking nurse that seemed to have been waiting for him and he could tell by the look on her face that he wasn’t going to hear anything good.

She gestured him to follow her; she lead him into an empty hospital room and gestured for him to sit down on one of the two chairs that were underneath the window, she took the other.

"Mr Vettel, I’m going to be straight with you because I wouldn’t want anyone to beat around the bush if I was in your position. The speed and force at which your wife crashed into barrier quite frankly should have killed her so bear that in mind when I go over her injuries with you because they might sound bad but for what happened I’d say she got out lucky."

Her words cut through Sebastian like a knife, tearing into his skin to leave him vulnerable to whatever she has to say next. Though, he’s grateful she’s telling him how it is instead of sugar coating the severity of everything just so that he’s not uncomfortable, he wants to understand and be aware of what exactly has happened so he gulped and nodded for her to continue.

She didn’t look at him sympathetically which he was thankful for but her expression was comforting. "The impact shattered Mrs Vettel’s tibia and fibula in her right leg, three of her ribs were also broken and a few of them are bruised, during the crash something must have made contact with your wife’s head because when we were cutting the helmet off the back of it was already broken through and it’s caused her some severe trauma to her head."

It was as though Sebastian felt the pain with each injury that was listed, the nurse was explaining it precise and slow so that he could probably understand it but there was really only one thing he wanted to know. "Is my wife going to be okay?"

This time the nurse did look at him sympathetically as she saw the pure worry in his eyes, she could see the love he felt for the Mercedes driver and the pain that this was causing him.

"Your wife is in surgery right now to fix both bones in her leg and suture up the injury on her scalp, her ribs should heal by themselves in at least six weeks but will most likely be longer, the thing we’re most worried about however is when she’s going to wake up. Whilst the knock on her head hasn’t caused any internal bleeding, we do think that’s the reason she was unconscious and not the crash itself."

Sebastian’s blood went cold at her words, "So-what, she’s in a coma?"

The woman nodded in confirmation. "Yes, it’s hard to determine when a person in a coma is going to wake up because each person is different when they’re in a position like this and I’m aware of how difficult this is for you to hear but whilst she’s in this state, it’s really the best time for her injuries to heal and hopefully she’ll wake after the worst of the pain has passed."

"How long do you think she’ll be in the coma for?"

"It varies from person to person but I’d say anywhere between a few weeks to a few months."

Sebastian nodded his head, glancing down to his lap where he was fiddling with his wedding ring. "Thank you." He simply muttered to the nurse who took that as her cue to leave.

"Mrs Vettel will be brought here after her surgery is complete, you’re welcome to wait until then or if you wish to go and come back after they’re finished we can give you a call if-"

"I’ll wait," Sebastian interrupted her and she nodded before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

Sebastian sighed heavily into the silence of the room, placing his head in his hands; now that he was alone the strong front he had put up had disappeared, before he could stop it his eyes were watering and silent tears were falling into his hands.

He didn’t know how long he sat like that before he heard the doors to the room open and a bed was wheeled in by four or five doctors, once the bed was locked in the middle of the room all of them left but one.

The man was probably in his forties but he seemed kind enough as he regarded Sebastian. "You must be Mr Vettel?"

Sebastian hastily wiped his eyes before rubbing his hands on his legs, nodding his head.

The doctor smiled before speaking. "The surgery went well, both bones in your wife’s leg have been reconstructed but those pins will have to stay there for a month or two and afterwards she’ll need physical therapy to regain her strength back and the cut to her head has been sutured up with no issues. A nurse will come by tonight to check her vitals and ensure everything is okay, they usually do checkups every 6-8 hours but if you need something then feel free to press the button."

"I will, thank you." Sebastian smiled weakly.

"As you are her husband you can come and go as you like, you are more than welcome to have someone come and take your place when you want to go and shower or rest. If anyone wishes to come and visit then visiting hours are between 8am and 8pm, after that we only permit one person to stay."

The doctor left shortly after and after taking a deep breath Sebastian got up from his seat beneath the window and made his way to the bed.

The sight of her made him want to burst into tears all over again, she had cuts and bruises all over her face and arms, her right left was resting on a pillow but trapped inside a metal brace that was attached to the pins inside her leg, her head was bandaged to protect the stitches on from the pillow she was laying on.

She looked lifeless and the sight of it pretty much tore him in two.

He didn’t know what to do, he was here alone and the love of his life almost died.

He carefully leaned against the edge of the bed, making sure he didn’t budge anything he shouldn’t before carefully grabbing her left hand, it was bare of any rings and Sebastian hoped that they were in her driver’s room somewhere and not lost because she was so protective over them rings and would be pissed if they were lost.

He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it.

It was way too silent in here, he hated it.

He leaned his body forward and pressed his face into the pillow, being mindful that he wasn’t hurting her even if she was unconscious and most likely wouldn’t feel it.

"Please come back to me, Liebling. I need you so much."

Sebastian didn’t leave the hospital that night, he had dragged the chair across the room so he could spend the night beside his wife, he hardly slept instead choosing to sit and simply watch as she ‘slept’ hoping that if he stayed awake long enough then eventually she would wake up.

She didn’t.

He had countless messages from family and drivers but he didn’t answer them, he knew not answering her family was selfish but he found that he really only cared about Y/N and no one else, that and he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

He messaged her and his parents this morning explaining what the doctors had told him yesterday but had left the other messages unread.

Not once had he let go of her hand, not when the nurses came in every couple of hours to do their checkups or when they brought him something to drink or eat, most of which went untouched.

He couldn’t explain the heartache he was feeling, to have the person you love the most in the world be in such a vulnerable position was heart wrenching, especially when it was your job and vow to protect them.

He couldn’t have stopped that crash but he will make sure he is around for every step of her recovery process.

Sebastian was thankful that there wasn’t a race this week because there was no way he was leaving her in the hospital alone to get in the car, he wasn’t in the right mindset anyways.

It seemed silly that he was also thankful that there was only four races left and Y/N had already won the championship otherwise he would’ve been devastated for her.

A knock at the door tore him away from his thoughts and he assumed that it was a nurse but was proved wrong when Max walked through the door with flowers in his hand.

Sebastian pursed his lips and looked down, he couldn’t even look at the man knowing that he was the reason his wife was unconscious in the hospital.

He knew it was wrong to blame him because he had no grip and the weather was no help but he was aware of the way the younger lad drove and knew that he took unnecessary risks, risks that could’ve killed the woman he loved.

"Uhm," Max cleared his throat awkwardly. "I messaged to see if it was okay for me to come but I didn’t get an answer and I just needed to see if she was okay."

Sebastian bit his tongue which was hard when everything inside him wanted to turn and shout at the RedBull driver that this was all his fault and he had no right to come here when he was the reason she was here in the first place, and his wife didn’t even like fucking roses so be can shove them up his arse for all Sebastian cared.

"Is she okay?"

Sebastian scoffed at the question, looking up at Max as if questioning his sanity. "Does she look okay?"

Max looked at him guiltily before glancing away, not being able to stand the look of complete despair in the German’s eyes.

"Just leave," Sebastian shook his head. "My wife’s pretty much on her death bed right now because of you and I really don’t need you coming here pretending like you care when we both know that that the only thing you care about when you’re in that car is yourself, not anyone else and certainly not their lives."

Max bit back the retort that’s on the end of his tongue knowing that the man was not in the right place right now so he placed the flowers on the table by the door and took his leave.

Sebastian sighed and tipped his head back to try and stop himself from crying, he needed to stop crying, he hadn’t done anything else in the last 24 hours.

It had been a week and Sebastian had talked to no one, none of the drivers had tried to visit so he assumed that Max had warned them to stay away which he was glad.

He had left the hospital only twice to pack some clothes and essentials for the two of them, Y/N still hadn’t woken up but the bruising on her face and arms was going down and the doctors had said her ribs were healing nicely.

He had never realised how much he had depended on her and needed her until he didn’t have her to depend on.

He loved her so much and felt like he was going insane with her right next to him but not exactly there at the same time.

Shortly after Max had left that day, two nurses had came in with Y/N’s race suit, fireproofs, balaclava, gloves, boots, two halves of her race helmet and her rings.

Sebastian had wasted no time in placing her rings back onto her hand, he didn’t think she looked right without them and knew that if she woke up without them on her hand she wouldn’t be impressed.

He had almost cried again when he picked up both pieces of her helmet and saw the place where she had been stricken on the head, there was a gash that went right through the helmet and a large red stain on her balaclava that would be beneath where the hole on her helmet is.

He had told his and Y/N’s parents that there was no point in flying in to visit until she was awake and they agreed, he also assumed that the teams had all flown back to their headquarters or the next race location so he was here alone.

Quite frankly, Sebastian didn’t know what to do, there was a race in America this week and even though it was the last thing on his mind and the last thing he wanted to do he knew that he had an obligation to be there, he couldn’t just not show up and it seemed like Britta had the same idea as he saw her name pop up on his phone trying to call him, it wasn’t the first time but it seemed like she was unrelenting this time.

"What do you want?" He sighed as he pressed the phone against his ear, running a hand over his face.

"Oh, so you are alive!" Her surprised voice was way too loud in his ear.

"Just tell me what you want, Britta." Sebastian had no time or patience for her teasing or jokes.

"You need to be in America in three days, Sebastian, I understand that you don’t want to see anyone and the last thing you want to do is get in a car but you do have an obligation to be there." She told him sadly.

"I have an obligation to take care of my family, Britta, I couldn’t give a shit about racing."

"You can’t stay in Japan, Seb."

"What do you want me to do, leave her here in a different country by herself?"

"I think you should move her to a facility in Switzerland for starters so that you can at least be near home."

Sebastian stayed silent, he couldn’t argue with that logic, it probably would be better, even for Y/N so that she wouldn’t have to fly when she was awake and recovering.

"I’ll talk to you tomorrow," he told her before hanging up, not allowing her to say anything else.

The next day he had payed to have Y/N transferred to the closest hospital to where they lived in Switzerland and had flown out her parents so that they could stay with her whilst he was in America.

He had put his foot down on missing media day, he’d go Friday, Saturday and leave immediately after the race on Sunday and would call his in laws multiple times a day whilst he was gone, he was not happy about it but it was the best he could do.

They were currently waiting outside of the room whilst Sebastian said his goodbyes to Y/N, he had spoken to her everyday just on the off chance that she could hear everything that was going on around her, the last thing he wanted was for her to have to suffer in silence whilst she was in this position.

He pressed his forehead against hers, which was now bandage free, closing his eyes to relish in the contact that he wouldn’t have for the next couple of days.

"I love you so much, liebe and I’m going to be back as soon as I can. You better not wake up whilst I’m gone otherwise I’m going to be pissed off with you," he chuckled weakly knowing that is something she’d probably do.

He pressed a kiss to her head and one to the back of her hand before reluctantly getting up, grabbing his back and leaving the room, knowing that if he didn’t go now then he never would.

Sebastian knew he was pushing his limits but couldn’t find it in himself to care, it was Friday and he had arrived in America this morning but hadn’t shown up at the track until just ten minutes before FP1 started.

He had been on the phone with his mother in law as soon as he got off the plane and hadn’t hung up until a few hours later but the real reason he had left it so long to head to the track was so that he could avoid most of the cameras as he was walking in, knowing that they’d now mostly be focused on the team garages.

Speaking of teams, Y/N’s seat had been filled in by Esteban Ocon for the rest of the season, the smallest part of Sebastian felt guilty knowing that Toto Wolff had been trying to find out what was going on with his driver but Seb had made sure everything was kept under wraps.

The only people who knew how she was were family, Britta and Y/N’s PR manager, Freya and every single one of them had no intention of spilling any information.

He could feel the eyes on him and hear the muttering as he walked through the paddock, he hadn’t even been here five minutes and he was already getting annoyed by the cameras and how loud it was.

It pissed him off even more when he saw team members from other motorhomes coming out to watch as if he was going to stand there and make a grand statement to let them all know how Y/N was.

He just ignored them and walked into the Ferrari motor home to his drivers room so he could change into his race gear.

He made sure he had his helmet on before he left his room, making a clear statement that he was in no mood to talk to anyone, thankfully the team respected it and let him get straight into the car, just in time for FP1 to start.

It felt wrong, he and Y/N had a small ritual they did before they got into the car, they had done it for years and this would be the first time getting into the car without it.

"Okay, Sebastian, you’re free to leave the garage, just give Mattia a heads up when you’re ready. You’re on mediums for now," Riccardo spoke through his ear piece.

Sebastian didn’t answer but he did nod his head towards a mechanic to let him know he was ready.

He was top of the time sheet for both practises today, he wouldn’t say he had tried to be in that position, he had just channelled his frustration into his driving.

"Sebastian, top of the time sheet today, does that mean the car was feeling well for you?" The woman in front of him asked, holding out her microphone for him.

"It felt fine," he responded, he wasn’t even looking at her, he was too busy thinking about phoning Y/N’s parents when he got out of here.

"You’re back after a week off, did you end up doing anything interesting?" He was aware that the woman was trying to subtly pry information from him about Y/N and it pissed him off so he just scoffed and walked away, knowing Britta was going to have to do a bit of damage control.

"Hey! Seb! Seb!" He heard Lewis call after him but continued walking causing the English driver to have to run to catch up to him, clasping a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder to get him to stop walking.

"Hey, are you alright, mate?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes "I’d be find if everyone stopped asking me that stupid question."

"Alright," Lewis nodded, not one to get offended or hurt at the tone Sebastian used because he understood. "How’s my teammate?"

Seb raised a hand to his forehead in frustration at the question, he could feel himself losing it. "What do you want me to say, Lewis? She’s clearly not fine other wise you would’ve heard something so will you and everyone else just leave me the fuck alone."

He didn’t wait for a reply, instead walking away, hopefully to make that phone call he’s been wanting to make since the last one had ended but just as he was about to shut the door to his driver’s room, a hand caught it.

"For fuck sake, can I not get a moment alone around here!?"

"Don’t start your attitude with me," Kimi grunted and Sebastian sighed, now was not the time for him to deal with Kimi.

"What do you want?"

"I want what everyone else wants."

"Well I hate to break it to you but just because you’re my teammate doesn’t mean I’m telling you how she is."

Kimi rolled his eyes and made himself comfortable on Sebastian’s bed whilst the latter was looking around for his phone.

"That’s not what I was talking about, I’m talking about the mood you’re in, you need to get out of it and get a grip, that’s what Y/N would want, not you walking around and sulking ruining everyone else’s day."

Sebastian shot him a dirty look. "You don’t know what she’d want and neither do I right now because she’s in the hospital, and if anyone has a problem with my attitude I’m perfectly fine with them staying away from me."

Kimi sent him a sarcastic smile, matching his attitude. "Well I have a problem with it cause you took my personality."

"What?"

Kimi sighed and stretched out. "You know how exhausting it is to have to be the happy one out of the two of us, that’s supposed to be your job but since Y/N’s crash, I have to be that person and I’m sick of it."

"Well I’m sorry that my wife’s injuries are such an inconvenience to you," Sebastian rolled his eyes.

Kimi groaned in annoyance, "you are so fucking annoying without her."

"Thanks, I’ll tell Minttu you said that." Sebastian replied sarcastically, now having his phone in his hand.

"Go for it," Kimi shrugged. "When Y/N wakes up I’ll tell her how much of an arsehole you’ve been."

Seb ignored him and pressed his phone to his hear, waiting for his mother in law to pick up for an update.

He had finished P4 in the race that weekend and had gotten straight on a flight back to Switzerland, skipping his post race interviews in the media tent.

He hadn’t even called Y/N’s parents after the race for an update, instead settling for a simple text in the airport when he was boarding the plane; both of them were picking him up from the airport and taking him straight to the hospital, he was strangely looking forward to being able to see her again, even if she was still in a coma.

He was happy that his flight had quite literally flown by and was sitting in the car behind his in laws just twenty minutes after landing.

"How is she?" He immediately asked.

"She’s okay, the doctors have said she’s healing up nicely." Y/N’s dad told him, the news relaxing him a bit.

"Are you guys coming in?" He asked as he held the car door open, surprised when he saw them both shaking their heads.

"We’ll come by tomorrow, you should have some time alone with her."

Sebastian nodded and bid them goodbye, actually happy that they had chosen to do that because after not seeing her for a couple of days, some time alone was what he needed.

He practically ran through the hallways of the hospital, care workers saw him but chose not to reprimand him as they were aware of who he was and how eager he probably was to see his wife.

He exhaled heavily when he got to the closed door of her room, standing there for a few moments to calm down a bit.

When he pushed open the door, he got the shock of his life.

Y/N was lying there in her hospital bed with her leg still resting on a pillow as it had been for the last two weeks but this time, the top of her bed was raised to put her in a sitting position, she had oxygen tubes in her nose but her head was turned towards the door he had just walked through and she was looking at him!

She was clearly very sleepy and tired but her eyes were as open as far as she could hold them and she was looking at him with a sleepy smile on her face.

She blinked slowly at him for a moment as he stared before holding out her hand for him and he took that as his cue to move towards her.

"Hi baby," she mumbled through a smile, not really having the energy to say anything more but it was enough for Sebastian’s eyes to start watering as he collapsed onto the chair that was beside her bed, grasping her hand in his own.

He raised his other to her cheek and softly stroked the skin there, smiling through his tears as he felt her lean into his touch.

"Hi," he breathed in disbelief, "How long have you been awake?" He whispered, fearing if he spoke any louder it would hurt her.

"Before the race, I watched it," she told him as though she was proud of herself was waking up in time to see it.

"Yeah? What did you think?" He humoured her, not really wanting to talk about the race but it seemed to make her happy so he did.

"You did good," she told him, subtly rubbing her thumb across his hand.

Sebastian simply smiled at her, he wiped his face on his arm to get rid of his tears before looking back at her again with nothing but adoration in his eyes.

"I love you so much." He told her surely, as though she may have forgotten whilst she was in the coma.

"Ich liebe dich auch," she replied back softly making him laugh, she always said it in his native language because she thought it would feel more real for him to hear.

"Are you tired?" He asked when he noticed her fighting to keep her eyes open.

Y/N nodded slowly before looking at him. "Come and lay with me," she told him.

Sebastian shook his head softly even though he wanted nothing more than to cuddle with her. "That’s probably not a good idea, liebe."

"When has that ever stopped you?" She pouted but rose an eyebrow at him.

He couldn’t argue with her there so he got up from his seat, protesting when she tried to move and make room for him.

He climbed in next to her and lightly wrapped his arm around her, she scooted closer and carefully adjusted her top hand so that her head was resting against him.

Sebastian rested his head against hers, pressing a kiss into her hair. "Liebe?" He asked, earning a slight hum in return.

"Don’t listen to anything Kimi says, he’s a liar."

"Hm’kay, Seb." She muttered, already pretty much asleep.

"I missed you so much," he muttered against her, carefully tightening the arm he had wrapped around her,

He wouldn’t be letting her out of his sight again.

#formula one #fluff #motorsport #seb5 #formula one x reader #seb vettel #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel x reader #f1 fanfiction #sebastian vettel x you #sebastian vettel imagine #seb

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theowritesstuff · 1 year

Text

Everything

Kaz Brekker x gn!healer!reader

Requests: “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” & “You are everything. Everything.” Although I did change it to “You are everything to me. Everything.”

Warnings: bruises, knives, guns, stabbing, blood, murder (feral Kaz)

A/N: Yeah, this is pretty dark guys. If you’ve watched the show/read the books you’ll be fine, but the crows plotlines are usually dark. I actually really like this one though! Italics are Kaz’s thoughts.

Request a prompt with one of my characters!

Kaz Brekker was methodical. He planned everything he could down to the very minute. It was how he was able to become the leader of the Dregs, the Bastard of the Barrel. No one dared cross Kaz, in fear of losing their life.

His crew were nearly as untouchable as he was. Jesper, the sharpshooter. Inej, the wraith. Wylan, the demolitions expert. Nina, the heartrender. And Matthias, the druskelle. They, along with their leader, made up one of the most prominent gangs in Ketterdam.

Then there was you. You were the crow that Kaz kept tucked away from the rest of Ketterdam.

Nina had brought you to Kaz after finding you help a small child with a nasty scrape on his knee. She watched as you guided your hand over the scrape, and the cuts disappeared. She hadn’t seen another Corporalnik in Ketterdam before, and knew that having a healer would help immensely when it came to heists.

Kaz was reluctant to take you in, only agreeing once he’d seen you heal a black eye Jesper had been sporting for a few days. He gave you a room at the Slat, gave you a few kruge, and introduced you to the other crows.

They were all easy to get along with. Nina helped you ease into this new life, often times joining you for meals, or taking walks through the markets with you. You had an obvious initial distaste for Mathias, often times choosing to stay away from the druskelle, but seeing him with Nina quickly put you at ease. Inej was incredibly kind to you, and graciously thanked you whenever you healed her. Wylan and Jesper were easy to get along with, often times too absorbed in each other to be aware of other things going on around them.

Then there was Kaz. It was more difficult to have a working relationship with Kaz, anyone could tell you he usually kept to himself unless he was giving orders or collecting kruge. You tried not to take his indifference to you personally.

You do remember the day things changed between you and Kaz though. The group had all come back from a heist exhausted, some injured, some just tired, but you could see Kaz out of the corner of your eye walking to his room quicker than he usually does. You followed him upstairs, and softly knocked on the door.

“Come in.” He grunted.

You’d never been in Kaz’s room before, you don’t think anyone other than Kaz actually has. It’s dark, and honestly exactly what you’d expected. A bed in the corner, a desk against the wall cluttered with paper, and a wardrobe that he was currently riffing through.

“Is there a reason you’ve decided to grace me with your presence Y/n?” He asks, his tone sharp.

“How did you know it was me?” You shuffle forward, and close his door behind you.

“Everyone else knows not to bother me after a job.” He turned his head towards you slightly, allowing you to catch a glimpse of red on his cheek.

“You’re hurt.” You take a step towards him. He steps back from you instantaneously.

“I’m fine.” He turns back to his wardrobe.

“Saints, why must you be so stubborn?” You sigh. He doesn’t answer you. “I thought you hired me to heal you, so let me do my job.”

It’s his turn to sigh this time. It would be nice to stop the stinging sensation on his face. He glances at you, then gestures you towards him. “Fine.” He sits down in the chair at his desk, and watches you slowly step towards him.

You slowly move towards him, aware of the way his shoulder tense with every step you take. You don’t know exactly what’s happened to him, but you can easily tell he’s got some sort of touch aversion after watching him for a while. The black gloves that never come off his hands are used as another layer to keep others away.

Once you’re standing in front of him you take a look at the thin cut across his cheek. “I didn’t know the bastard of the barrel could bleed.” You murmur.

You don’t fail to miss the slight upward quirk of his lips at your comment. He holds his breath as your fingertips hover over him. He expected to feel the waters rise up in his chest, drowning him, instead he’s surprised to feel warmth from your hand. You’re careful not to actually touch him, pulling away once he’s been healed.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” You ask, stepping away from him.

That was the moment you became more than just the Dregs’ healer. Whenever you went out anywhere Kaz would send Inej with you for protection. He knew how valuable a grisha was in Ketterdam, and he was not going to let someone else take you away. He called you into his office in the Crow Club or his room in the Slat more often. Sometimes he’d need you to heal a paper cut, other times he’d just want your company while he planned out heists. On nights where he came back banged up more than usual he’d bare more skin to you, allowing you to heal him and provide him the comfort a part of him so desperately needed.

He’d never let it be known he was growing some kind of attachment to you. You were a weakness to him, and Kaz Brekker didn’t have any weaknesses.

It didn’t take long for the other crows to figure out something was different between the two of you. Kaz was a cold, corrupt gang leader, but they could see a shift in him when you were near.

He’d give you his coat if you felt cold on the walk from the club back to the Slat. He kept your favorite drink in stock at the Crow Club. He’d look to you for your opinion on plans for heists. He whispered comments to you while he thought the others weren’t paying attention, a smug grin growing on his face as you laughed at what he’d said. Soft isn’t the right word for what Kaz had become when you were near. He was gentle with you.

Jesper caught you sneaking out of Kaz’s room early one morning still in the clothes you’d worn the previous day. He smirked at Kaz as he ate his breakfast for the day.

“Have a pleasant night boss?” He asked over his cup of coffee.

Kaz raises a brow at him, silently asking what he meant.

Jesper simply looks over at you, who is currently in conversation with Nina and Mathias on the other side of the room. His eyes travel back to Kaz, gleaming with mischief.

Kaz looks like he’s about to hit Jesper over the head with the crow’s head of his cane. He gets a stern talking to in Kaz’s office later that day, and is informed that if anyone finds out about his meetings with you, his precious revolvers might end up on someone’s table in the market.

No one mentions any changes they’ve seen in Kaz after that. Everything goes smoothly from then on, until one particular heist.

It was a lot like any other heist, sneak into a place, steal something that costs an exorbitant amount of money, then sell it for twice the price. The problem was Kaz needed someone to sneak into a crowded party, and at that point most of the barrel could pick out any of the crows in a crowd. They needed someone that could be inconspicuous.

It was the perfect job for you. You’d always wanted to go on the crazy adventures your friend went on so often, and this was finally something you could swing.

When you volunteered to step in, Kaz immediately refused. There was a reason he kept you locked away in the Slat during jobs.

No amount of kruge is worth putting your life on the line.

He gives excuse after excuse as to why you can’t be used. You haven’t done this before. You don’t know your way around the building. They need their healer ready to treat them afterwards.

I can’t bear the thought of losing you.

“You don’t even know how to use a weapon.” Kaz sighed, barely looking up at you from the blueprints on his desk.

“Inej can teach me, right?” You turn to the wraith with pleading eyes.

Inej stutters as she looks between you, and the icy stare coming from Kaz.

“Besides, you said that you wanted me to learn how to fight.”

No, I said you should learn to use a weapon. I figured Jesper would let you shoot a few bottles behind the Slat.

“We need them boss. Y/n is our best bet.” Jesper shrugs as he becomes the receiving end of Kaz’s glare.

Kaz looks back down at his blueprints. He knows it’s going to be a busy event, and the others will be spotted on sight. He briefly wonders if he can hire someone else to do the job, but then he looks back up at you. He trusts you, more than he’s trusted anyone in a long time. He knows this is something you’re perfectly capable of, but is it something he’s willing to risk?

“Fine.” He grunts. “But Jesper and Inej will teach you to use their weapons first.”

Your hearts swells up with pride. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thrown yourself over his desk to hug him. “Thank you Kaz. I promise you won’t regret this.”

If only you knew how wrong you had been.

You did train with Inej and Jesper prior to the heist. You even practiced fighting with Mathias a little bit, who was significantly holding back his punches in fear of actually hurting you.

Kaz had made sure to drill his instructions into everyone’s heads, until they could repeat their schedules without thinking about it. Everything had gone to according to plan on the night of, until things took a drastic turn.

He kept an eye on you for as long as he could, until he was needed somewhere else, leaving you in the crowd of the large hall completely isolated from the rest of the group.

You were doing well on your own, slowly becoming more confident as you strolled around and made conversation. You managed to distract all of the merchants with conversation long enough for the crew to get what they needed. It was nearing the time Kaz told you to meet him outside when you were spotted by someone. You vaguely recognized the face, it was a man you’d seen in the Crow Club a few times.

He must’ve known about your affiliation with the crows, because next thing you know you’re being escorted the opposite direction you need to go. You try to stay calm, and remember what Jesper and Inej taught you about fighting, but you know with them holding onto your arms it’ll be near impossible to reach for the knife you have hidden away.

You end up in a courtyard behind the building when they start to question you. Simple things like “why are you here?” and “where are your friends?”. They quickly become aggravated with your innocent act, and become more incessant.

All it took was for one of the men holding you to loosen his grip for you to swing your arm away, and hit him on the side of his face with your elbow. Chaos ensued immediately. You were able to grab your knife, and used it as best you could against the three men fighting you. You had taken a few hits, but were able to stand your ground fairly well, until you felt a sharp pain in your side.

You froze, partially from shock, but mostly from the searing pain you felt. You looked down to see a dagger lodged in your side, being held onto by one of the men. He had a wicked grin on his face as he twisted the knife inside of you. You wailed out as he pulled the knife from your body, and watched as you collapsed to the ground.

“Brekker won’t be able to save you from that, little bird.” He snikered, then ran back inside with the others.

You could feel the blood pooling at your side. You tried to press a hand to the now sticky fabric of your shirt, and put pressure on the wound. You were far too hurt to be able to concentrate your powers to one spot. Your vision started to get spotty when you heard voices above you. A girl’s voice, clearly in distress, and a boy’s voice, sharp and stern.

More hands pressed to your side, then something was wrapped tightly around your waist.

You couldn’t hear what they were actually saying before you felt yourself being picked up, and held in someone’s arms. You looked up to see the figure that was holding you. A bigger build, wide shoulders, blonde hair? Mathias. Had you been conscious enough to speak you would’ve made a joke. Something about a druskelle carrying a grisha to safety. He’d laugh, but retort, telling you about how many times he’s had to save Nina.

You let yourself fall into the darkness after a while, your head lolling against Mathias’ chest. It’s okay, you thought, you knew you weren’t going to make it as soon as he pulled that knife out of you. You just wish you were able to see your friends one last time, to see Kaz one last time.

Kaz could feel his heart thundering in his chest. He tried to keep a calm composure, but anyone of the crows could see the anxiety building up in him. He was barking orders as soon as he saw you laying on the ground, a puddle of your own blood surrounding you. The waves start to build in his chest. He wants to reach out and touch you, to give you any semblance of comfort, because you’re not dead, there’s no way he’s letting you die. He’ll destroy all of Kerch before he lets that happen.

He notices when your head lolls. “Quickly.” He urges the group, speeding his own pace back to the Slat.

Once everyones regrouped they all gather in your room, where Mathias has lain you down on your bed.

Kaz tosses a pouch of coins to Jesper. “Go get some medicine. I don’t care how much it costs. Get the best you can find.”

Inej kneels down next to you, whispering prayers to her saints. Mathias leaves to gather supplies to help you. Nina keeps your heartbeat steady, her hands hovering above your chest.

The waters have reached his lungs now, pulling him down deeper into the ocean. Your blood coats the scarf Inej tied around you earlier, staining the blue material a dark, deep red.

“Saints! Kaz, your heartbeat is obscenely loud! Could you please go anywhere else?” Nina snaps at him.

Kaz doesn’t move for a moment, then quickly leaves your room to go to his own. He attempts to slow his breathing, to calm himself down, but anytime he closes his eyes he sees you again. You and Jordie.

It’s days before he talks to anyone. He only ever leaves his room to step into yours. Nina occupies a chair near your bed, dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep.

“Still alive.” Is all she says to him. He nods, then retreats back to his room.

He scours any and all information he has about the party, until he finds what might give him some relief. He leaves the Slat early one morning, and doesn’t return until late that evening. The gold crow’s head of his cane is now a bright crimson color. Blood is splattered on his neck, and one can assume his clothes as well, though the black hides it well from anyone giving him a second glance.

Jesper is surprised to see Kaz in such a state, knowing that he liked to keep up appearances.

“Hey boss, you’ve got a little…” he trails off, gesturing to his neck.

“It’s not mine.” He rushes passed Jesper, back to his room to start scrubbing the blood away.

You wake up about a week after the heist. Your throat is dry, and you feel incredibly hungry. Your limbs feel weak when move to sit up.

Nina sits next to you on a chair. She’s slouched over, soft snores falling from her lips. You softly nudge her, and let out a hoarse “Nina.”

She grumbles to herself as she wakes up. “Kaz, they’re fine.” She slowly opens her eyes to see you staring back at her, and she gasps. “Saints! You’re awake!”

You point to the cup that sits next to her, and gulp down the water when she hands it to you.

She stands up and looks towards the door to your room. “I’m going to go get Kaz.”

You grab her wrist before she can leave you. “Please don’t. I don’t think I can deal with incessant “I told you so”s right now.”

Nina scoffs. “Oh please, he’s been worried sick about you. I had to kick him out of here because his heartbeat was distracting me from yours.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He even paid for some pretty pricey medicine for you. Speaking of which, here, take these.” She holds out a few pills. “Now, I’m going to go get Kaz, and maybe after this near-death experience you two will finally just tell each other that you love one another.”

“What? I don’t-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shake your head.

“It’s okay, he’s not very good at hiding it either.” She smirks at you before she leaves.

She’s only gone a few minutes before your door swings open with Kaz in your doorway.

“You’re awake.” He says.

You shift so that you’re sitting up on your bed. Kaz closes your door behind him, then sits down in the chair Nina had been using, his eyes trained on the floor ahead.

“I’m sorry about the heist Kaz. But I promise I didn’t tell them anything-”

“I know.”

You furrow your brows. “You know?”

He looks up at you. When he does this, you realize just how close you are to him. You can see every detail in his face. The way his blue eyes sparkled in the dim candlelight of your room. You could brush your leg against his if you shifted. You start to move away from him, afraid of touching him, but stop when what sounds like a plea escapes him.

“Stay.”

You let out the breath you’d been holding, and relax beside him.

“Nina said you were worried about me.” You say softly.

He laughs a little, shaking his head. It’s a sight he’s reserved for just you. “Of course she did.”

“Were you?”

He looks into your eyes as if he’s searching for something. “I was.” He takes a breath, then turns his body so he’s facing you. “You scared me Y/n. I thought you had died, or were close to it. And I…” His admission is quiet. “Don’t make me say it. I can’t say the words.” He hangs his head in shame. The bastard of the barrel can’t admit how he feels.

“I understand.” You nod. “I feel so much love for you Kaz, you consume my every thought. You don’t need to say anything. I understand.”

He looks up at you, surprised. Surprised that someone as pure as you, someone who was literally made to heal, could ever love someone who’s caused so much pain as he has. He slowly removes his right glove, and drops the leather to the ground. He lifts his hand to your face, hovering near your cheek.

“You don’t have to.” You whisper, body frozen.

“I want to.” He takes a deep breath in an attempt to push the waves down, and slowly caresses your cheek. His throat tightens up, and for a moment it feels like he’s drowning again. But he focuses on your warmth, and his breathing slows down again. “You are everything to me. Everything.”

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows #six of crows x reader

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mrwinterr · 5 months

Text

Die Happy (Eddie Munson Version)

Pairing: Ghost!Eddie Munson AU x Female Reader; hint of Steve Harrington x Female Reader

Summary: You summon a really friendly ghost. 👻

Warnings: Smut 18+ (consensual vibes all around, masturbation, vaginal fingering, oral? [female receiving]) and language. 🚫 Minors DO NOT interact. Dabbling into the occult (use of a Ouija board).

Disclaimer: I’m a spooky bitch, but I would NEVER mess with an Ouija board. This is an AU. The upside down and the events that happen in the series Stranger Things (2016) aren’t entirely canon here.

Title Inspiration: “Die Happy” by Dreamers

A/N: This is a re-imagine of my Ghost!Bucky Barnes AU from years ago, but I wanted to convert it to fit with our dear boy Eddie. It’s only altered to fit a different narrative, but the smut is still closely the same. The inspiration came from an erotic audio on Reddit, so I owe it to that. There was a part two in the works, so if this goes well, I’ll continue writing it for this AU. Enjoy!

You sat there on your small couch of the trailer you had just moved into about six months ago, staring at the unopened brown rectangular box placed on your coffee table, contemplating on unboxing it. A part of you was scared to touch it again because of its contents and the other part was bullying you to just rip it open and get this over with. This was your idea after all. This was your last resort. This was the package that would, hopefully, help you find the answers you were so desperately looking for.

What exactly were you trying to solve?

Six months prior, you’d managed to save up enough money to move out of your parents’ home, away from a superficial city and into a small, quiet town. Albeit a trailer wasn’t your first option, it was something you could call your own. It was the most adult thing you’ve done in your life so far. Initially, you were excited because you would be able to decorate it the way you wanted for every holiday, host small gatherings with friends and maybe even bring someone home. However, you couldn’t exactly do most of that, not with all the strange things that have been happening and while you attempted to brush them off as mere coincidences, they were becoming almost too outstanding to ignore any longer.

First, it was the air conditioning unit acting wonky. You kept the place at a reasonable and comfortable temperature, but you found yourself often sporting hoodies or wrapped up in blankets. Never mind the breeze that blew past you here and there, the technicians couldn’t find a single problem with the system and besides whenever you scheduled a visit for inspection, it was magically working just fine.

Next, much like the AC unit, the electricity started to have a mind of its own. Before you could flip the light switch or press the button on your remote, it was always one step ahead of you. It was almost like you were living in a smart house, but instead of acting on voice command, it read your mind.

The most bizarre thing though, was things disappearing and reappearing. Small things like the morning paper would vanish from where you left it and if you couldn’t locate where you last left your keys, you never had to search too far because there they were. Maybe it was all in your head?

The eeriest one of them all was the unexplained smell. There was a distinct yet alluring scent that would trail behind when you felt that breeze pass over. You couldn’t pinpoint what it exactly smelled like, a composition of something woody with amber undertones that suggested a sense of strength and warmth from its presence. One thing was for sure, it wasn’t any like your fragrances nor was it from the only person that visited you. It was a pleasant odor and almost a calming one to you.

You didn’t want to believe it, but these weren’t just common occurrences - these were tall tale signs of a haunting. You came to the conclusion you were living with a ghost. The spirit wasn’t vengeful, that much you gathered since it didn’t make attempts to harm you in any way. If anything, it helped you out more than bothered you. Sure you could just either ignore these oddities or move out, but you’d worked too hard to get here and you weren’t going to let whatever entity run you out of your new home. Instead, curiosity won the best of you and you opted to take matters into your own hands.

Literally.

Pulling the Ouija board out from the box, you place it on the table and it seems to have a hold on you. How do you prepare yourself to summon a ghost? You don’t know how long you’d been staring but it was only when the sudden knock on your door does the spell break.

You get up and make the short distance to the front door and you’re briefly greeted by your close friend Steve. Your relationship with him was close to the point where you’re not even bothered that he just makes his way inside as if he lived here with you. He’s so busy rambling about something, probably about his latest shift at the video store he worked at, that he didn’t notice how uncharacteristically quiet you were being.

“Whoa!” He exclaims, stopping in his tracks once he sees the Ouija board laid out. Its presence was enough to effectively cut his story short. “What are you doing with that?” He asks, pointing at the object and taking a few steps away from it.

You roll your eyes, sitting back down and reaching into the box to pull out the remaining piece, the planchette.

“What does it look like I’m going to do with it?” You say, staring up at him blankly.

“Shit,” he starts, running his hands through his thick hair, “okay, uh, I knew you liked Halloween, but I didn’t think you were this spooky,” he says, his eyes bugging out in disbelief.

He stands in place as if the items in front of you were cursed, but seeing that you hadn’t actually begun anything yet, there’s a bit of relief. You’re not deterred by the Ouija board at all. It had quite the opposite effect because you were all too fascinated with the supernatural. It was just wild that it was happening to you.

“You really shouldn’t mess with that kind of stuff,” Steve warns as he cautiously makes his way back closer.

“I don’t know why you’re so scared,” you respond, blowing him off and kicking the now empty box aside.

“And you’re not?!” He says incredulously, “trying to speak to the dead is not right!”

Well, it certainly wasn’t normal, but so weren’t the things that were happening in your home lately.

“I need to find answers, Steve!” You bite back, the volume of your voice matching his, if not, louder. Your once calm demeanor switching to an intense one, cutting the tension of what you were going to partake in had brought about. You didn’t miss the hint his exclamations gave off and it bothered you. “What do you expect me to do? Continue living like this? I’m not in control of my own place.”

Oh yeah, he knew. Steve was the only friend you could confine in and the one person you could share your stories about your home and the experiences in it.

“You really think this place is haunted.” It comes off as more of a statement because he can see you’ve clearly made up your mind on how you’re going to prove this theory. He could see the inner turmoil you were facing and the vulnerability that cracked through your exterior after your outburst.

“I’m not going crazy! And I certainly am not going to spend another fee on having a technician tell me there’s nothing wrong with the units again.” If the frustration wasn’t visible in your features, it definitely was in your voice.

“Look,” Steve says, voice now careful, ”why don’t you just come spend the night at my place and we can think of another way to approach this?” You knew this offer all too well. It had always been on the table. When you decided to move to Hawkins and were looking for your own place, Steve had offered you a room, but you were hellbent on making it on your own. You were proud and independent…and weren’t sure about taking the next step with him.

Steve was everything your past lovers weren’t and you while you both weren’t official, a couple of dates happened here and there, something was holding you back. You cherished his friendship so much and even though you'd both crossed so many lines already, a part of you feared crossing anymore would jeopardize it. Worse, what if whatever it turned out to be would just fail miserably in the end. Then where would that leave you both? He made it clear how he felt about you, but you brushed it off casually each time. Steve knew you simply weren’t ready and he was willing to wait.

“Thanks, but I’ll be okay.” You reply, breaking away from seeing the look of concern on his face, the kind that made you feel guilty, and went back to fidgeting with the planchette in your hands. You knew he was a skeptic on these kinds of things and only worried for your safety. He’d always been protective of you and hated seeing you upset.

The nights he had spent in your trailer nothing strange ever happened. It’s like these occurrences were only happening to you. Steve wasn’t sure if he believed in ghosts or not, but he wasn’t about to stick around and find out today like this. He knew that you could be stubborn, but there was only so much he could do to change your mind from where he stood and he just hoped he hadn’t lost you yet.

The crack of thunder in the sky, slightly rattling the trailer, indicated a storm was coming and you took that as an excuse to convince Steve to leave for the night. You didn’t want to fight with him about this. The few times you did talk about a possible haunting were just humorous conversations to Steve, but you were always being serious. It was evident that you two were not on the same page.

“You should probably start heading home before the rain comes,” you advise, standing up , walking over to the front door, hoping it’d sway him, but he knew what you were doing. Steve wasn’t mad. He knew you weren’t going to change your mind this time, but he could be patient. He was always very patient with you.

He reluctantly nods, defeated, before following your lead. “I’m coming back first thing in the morning to check if you’re still alive though,” he jokes, before pulling you in for a hug and kissing the side of your head. His words elicit a light chuckle from you, but it mostly muffled against his biceps. You bask in the warmth of his embrace for a few lingering seconds, inhaling his fresh, clean scent, one that was a complete contrast to the one you were used to smelling inside your trailer, before pulling away and playfully shoving him out the door.

As soon as his car disappears from the end of the street, you jump, head snapping at a sudden crashing sound from the kitchen area. You make your way in that direction to find the mug gifted to you, on your last birthday from Steve, shattered in pieces all over the kitchen floor. The last roar of thunder must’ve been a strong one or the elevation of the shelf had been slightly off or maybe the house just didn’t like Steve… You shook your head at that last silly thought and sighed preparing to clean up the mess.

The gloomy weather quickly casted a blanket over the once clear sky and with the sounds of the fast raindrops against the windows and pavement, the lag in thunder chasing the flashes of lightning, you didn’t waste time on the mission.

What better time than now? It set the mood. Were you scared? You weren’t sure. You were already convinced you were living with something so what could’ve been scarier than that. You didn’t ponder long enough to think about the aftermath. Was this all just a bunch of hocus pocus or pseudoscience? Would you get possessed by a demon or would they be like Casper?

Would this even work? The use of a Ouija board, especially by someone inexperienced as yourself, was highly not recommended. You’d seen The Exorcist and not to mention this kind of activity was very much frowned upon during your upbringing. If only your parents could see you now…

The spirit in your home couldn’t be that bad though, right? If they wanted to possess you, they would’ve done so by now; unless they were just waiting for an invitation. Well, there was only one way to find out.

You dimmed the lights and lit a few candles around you. Was this insulting? There wasn’t exactly a guide on etiquette for communicating with the dead. You did your fair share of research, but most of what you knew about Ouija boards were credited to horror movies.

You take a deep breath in and out then begin to summon your supposed roommate.

Eddie felt bad.

He felt bad as he watched you clean up the mess he made in your kitchen. He knew you liked that mug, but he didn’t. He remembered when you were given that mug. He saw the way your face lit up after reading the stupid text on it that only you and the person who gifted it to you understood the meaning behind it.

He didn’t like Steve and he certainly didn’t like how Steve made you feel. Steve made you feel all sorts of things and Eddie knew that, which explained why Steve never experienced anything unusual in the house because Eddie didn’t like seeing you with him. He chose to not be present in Steve’s presence. Most of his kind would make it a point to make it known they hated them, but Eddie didn’t want to spook you.

He was aware of how silly it was. A ghost jealous of two living humans. He had his turn, but it was tragically cut short. He was so young, barely in his 20s before he left an ongoing cold case behind, providing no closure for his friends and his uncle.

But why did his afterlife have to consist of seeing the most angelic living human being just waiting to fall in love with the perfect living man? He didn’t get a chance to live out that part of his life, so was he bitter? Yes. He’d grown so attached it outraged him to see any distress that was brought upon the current tenant of his home.

Eddie wasn’t sure why he was able to roam around his old stomping ground over the last couple of years. He tried his best to communicate with his uncle before he finally managed to move into a better place. He was proud of Wayne for working hard to get a real house for himself. He took assurance that he was able to live more comfortably now. He should’ve known his own flesh and blood wasn’t bothered or spooked out by his attempts to get his attention, so when he left, Eddie was alone for nearly three years. No one was exactly in a rush to move into a trailer, his trailer, until you came into the picture. That day you walked in, if he wasn’t already dead, and you could’ve seen him, he just knew he would’ve been as pale as a well…ghost. He made sure to not send you running for the hills.

He tried to subtly help you with everyday things. He didn’t even spy on you during private moments like in the shower or on those lonely, needy nights. He proved himself to be a ghostly gentleman.

He even tried to not eavesdrop on your conversations and almost always disappeared when guests were present, but he heard you raise your voice earlier at Steve. He wasn’t sure what you two were arguing about and sure it was petty on his part, but before he could summon enough energy to knock over the mug, Steve was already gone.

Eddie followed you back into the living room, watched as you lit the candles scattered around and dimming the lights. He lightly smiled believing you were attempting to relax. You deserved a nice night in. If only seeing you in peace was enough to put him to rest - permanently. He was already trying to guess what kind of movie you were going to turn on but when he saw what was laid out in front of you as you sat back on your couch, his expression fell and he swore his heart would stop again if it could.

“Oh no,” he says as he stares at the Ouija board on the table. Eddie starts pacing in front of you, his hands bunching up his hair in a panic state. Anyone that had ever set foot in this trailer to scope it out knew this place gave off a spooky vibe. This was a tough trailer to sell because not only was it unsettling but so was the story behind it, which it was unbeknownst to you why it was so affordable. You weren’t stupid and you knew there was something or someone lurking, so this was almost bound to happen.

“Is anyone here?” He hears you ask the first question. He looks over your direction and sees your eyes are closed with both hands on the planchette. You’d close your eyes to mask your fear so that should anything bad happen you wouldn’t have had to stare death right in the face.

“Oh my God,” he barely whispers and realizes, “she’s really trying to talk to me.” He couldn’t believe you were willingly reaching out to him. He hadn’t been able to talk to anyone in years, so now given an opportunity to do so gave him a sense of elation.

“Yes! I am! I’m here!” She can’t hear you, idiot. “Fuck, of course she can’t hear me.” Eddie argues with himself on what to do before he remembers how Ouija boards work.

He almost can’t believe it when he does it, but he’s able to delicately and effortlessly move your hands to slide the planchette over the word ‘YES’.

Your eyes pop open and you gasp when you see that you received an answer. Now that was not your imagination. This wasn’t your mind playing tricks on you either. You’re frozen, but look up in front of you half expecting the spirit to show itself to you, however you don’t see anything.

At least that’s what you think. On the contrary, you’re staring right at Eddie or rather through him. His expression mirrors yours - complete and utter shock for two reasons.

First, he was never able to easily move or touch anything solid in years. The incident with the mug earlier, that kind of stuff usually required a lot of concentration and energy on his part. Secondly, he was in awe. He knew he was attracted to you, but even though you couldn’t see him, he could see you clearly and you were so beautiful to him.

He’s scared that he’s frightened you with that move, but at the same time it excites him that he’s successfully communicating with you.

You’re unsure if you should continue. You were half expecting this to be a bust, but it moved. It actually moved! While you were excited that this worked, the tiny voice in the back of your head had you thinking that maybe you shouldn’t go any further, but who ever really listened to them? If you were to get hurt or anything, you’d deal with Steve later. You blink a few times and refocus your attention on the task.

“What are you?” You ask next.

“What am I?” Eddie repeats the question, “I’m dead, sweetheart.” Wait. He starts to spell the letters ‘D-E-A-D’ with your hands on the planchette still. The corners of your mouth lifting, amused at that response, of course he was dead, had him comparing it to what angels must’ve felt like when they earned their wings. If anyone believed in that sort of stuff…either way he felt very blessed to pull such a thing as a small smile out of you.

“You liked that one, didn’t you?” Eddie said more to himself with a big smile on his face. He loved this! It was like he was having a real conversation with you. It was something he only ever dreamed of for the last six months.

A particular flash of lightning followed by a clamorous thunder startles you, breaking you away from the Ouija board. You weren’t going to lie. You were still absolutely spooked out and decided maybe that was enough contact with the dead for the night.

When your heartbeat finally returned to its steady rate, you got up to turn on the lights. You made sure you blew all the candles out and doors were locked before turning in. As you walked the path to his old bedroom, Eddie watched you look back to the living room and bid goodnight to seemingly nothing, but he knew who it was directed towards - it was meant for him.

The days that followed, you were growing more and more curious. In your spare time, you started digging into how much can come out of the Ouija board, but first you needed to figure out who you were dealing with.

You went from door to door of the trailer park doing your own investigation on who used to live in your trailer. You got mixed reviews from the neighbors, but you believed you got the gist of it down.

The trailer originally belonged to a man named Wayne Munson, who took in his nephew becoming his sole legal guardian. You dug deep at the local library, sifting through old Hawkins newspaper archives, to find out that his nephew had commonly gone by the nickname ‘Eddie’ and he wasn’t too far away in age from you. He went to the same high school as Steve, where he struggled in graduating, had a reputation of being a delinquent and someone who participated in satanic practices. The worst of his offense was being linked to the murder of a beloved teenage girl, Chrissy Cunningham.

The accompanying images of the girl and boy in the newspaper clippings, you assumed to be Chrissy and Eddie. She was undeniably pretty and he was…cute. The tips of your ears burned and turned red as you caught yourself staring a little too long at his picture.

Why’d that make you feel weird? You’re thinking things about someone you’d never met. You didn’t know anything else about him and what you had learned, it didn’t sound good either. That couldn’t have been the same Eddie in your trailer, right?

To your surprise, Chrissy had brutally died in your very own living room. Were you living with her? Something didn’t make sense though. What was her unfinished business? All the things you picked up on from the TV or movies, was that most spirits that wandered had some sort of “unfinished business” that prevented them from moving on. Right?

The news seemed adamant that it was Eddie who killed her, but it was her own boyfriend, some star athlete, Jason Carver, who had been found guilty of her murder. Eddie had been acquitted but the twists and turns never stopped as you read he himself had been found dead inside the trailer a few weeks later. The puzzling thing was the autopsy proved it wasn’t by suicide. He didn’t do this to himself. The saddest thing, aside from the loss of two young lives, was his uncle being the one to discover his nephew lifeless in their home. No one was ever charged for his murder and it didn’t look like there was a rush to locate the killer, which angered you as you continued reading. The real killer was possibly still out there free to live the rest of their life.

You’re so engrossed with your findings you barely paid any attention to Steve when he’d come in to check on you. He had the spare key in case of emergencies, and ignoring most of his unreturned phone calls, which seemed uncharacteristically you, to him was deemed as an emergency.

Steve was only less than thrilled to see your enthusiasm on all this. Normal people didn’t go around poking at the dead. He pointed out you were lucky you didn’t get possessed, not paying any mind or adhering to you claiming he was probably a friendly ghost.

“This isn’t an episode of Casper!” Steve shouts, fed up again. His face falters as he watches your shoulders visibly slump. He hated killing the vibe, especially when you were excited, but you were hyped about something all too unreal and that shouldn’t be messed with at all in the first place.

He looked around the small space seeing your notes scattered throughout the coffee table, some spilled on the carpet. There were so many he couldn’t see the Ouija board still laid out. It was just buried underneath.

“What if I can help him?” You try reasoning with him. “Did you know? Did you know Eddie? Or what happened to him? Did you know that he and someone else died right where we’re standing?” This was the first time you asked him about the person Eddie was, not the ghost. You wondered why he didn't say anything? He’d lived in Hawkins his whole life. Surely he’d had to have heard about this. It’s a small town, people talked.

“I barely knew him,” Steve sighs, guilty but admits, “he wasn’t exactly popular or well liked by most because of how different he was.” You watch as he brings a hand up to rub at his eyes, “but even I didn’t think he was capable of doing that stuff to Chrissy.” He was trying to erase the crime scene the media had released to the public from his mind. “I swear I didn’t know this was his trailer though. Like I said, I barely knew the guy.” You can hear the sincerity in his response and nodded. Had Steve known, he’d most likely had pushed harder for you to move in with him.

“What if I can help him pass on? Then I can live in peace…and so will he,” you start to persist.

“You’re not going to be able to convince Hawkins that Eddie Munson didn’t kill someone,” he says bluntly. “You’re already lucky that you’re unharmed,” Steve reminds you. “I’m just worried about you,” he brings his hands to your arms in an attempt to comfort you.

“I know you are, but I’ll be fine,” you assure him, hoping you could keep that promise. After all, you couldn’t even confirm you were really communicating with Eddie.

You were relieved that the conversation with Steve didn’t take a turn for the worse like it easily could have. You understood where he was coming from and you were lucky to have someone like him care so much about your wellbeing. The realization never fails to punch you in the gut for not allowing yourself to give in.

So why were you more scared to commit than of willingly reaching out to the dead?

Take two.

You sat perched, trying to hype yourself up to communicate once more. Eddie, on the other hand, is more than ready and the cool familiar breeze that passes you by lets you know that they’re here.

“Chrissy?” You ask, your fingers firmly on the planchette. You hadn’t figured out which one was actually still here or if both were.

Your hands move over to the answer, ‘NO’.

Shit. Eddie thought to himself when you said Chrissy's name. How much did you know about Chrissy? If you read anything about that night in the papers then it surely wasn’t good. What did you think of him now? You probably thought he was the devil. He thought you were going to end this, cut ties with him, cleanse the house or even move out after discovering it’s been him this whole time. The realization that you were living with a monster.

“Who are you?” The last revelation had to be obvious, but you needed confirmation. Eddie had nothing to lose, physically, but if this was the last time he’d get to communicate with you, he’d take every second until you stop. Your heartbeat starts to pick up as you’re slowly spelling out ‘E-D-D-I-E’.

“Eddie,” you whisper. Boy, did Eddie like the sound of his name coming from your lips.

“Is anyone else with you?” The answer points to ‘NO’. He was alone.

“How did you…die?” you had to swallow in between the last word in that question, hoping it wouldn’t trigger a negative response. Even in the afterlife, death couldn’t be an easy topic.

The letters ‘M-U-R-D-E-R-E-D’ give you your next answer. It was indeed him! Internally, you’re overjoyed that you’ve figured out your ghostly John Doe, but you try to remain at ease.

“Did you knock down my mug?”

Eddie rolls his eyes at that, but swiftly moves your hands over to ‘YES’.

“Okay. I mean that wasn’t very nice,” you couldn’t just bite your tongue as the sass flowed right out of you.

‘S-O-R-R-Y’.

The apology takes you by surprise, and suddenly you weren’t mad about the mug anymore.

“It’s alright. It was just a mug,” you try to assure him. You’d just have to explain to Steve another time that the ghost broke it. No biggie. Yeah, right. What with the tiny arguments, he’d most likely believe you destroyed it out of anger and frustration at him.

Your arms were getting tired from the position they were in. Several minutes had passed since you last said anything to Eddie and you weren’t sure of what to ask next, but you didn't want to stop talking to him.

Where does this end? Do you ask him to leave? This is his home. No, it’s not anymore. It’s your home now. How do you help him pass on? Did you have that ability? Do you hire a medium? Enlist the help of a priest? Call a ghostbuster? Your mind grew tired all too quickly, you slumped back in your seat, breaking away from the Ouija board.

Eddie watched as you rubbed the muscles of your sore arms. He felt helpless. He wishes he could ease or take away your worries and pain. Instead, all he could do was watch and make sure you were okay until you were ready to start talking again.

With your hands back on the board, you ask, “are you still here?” Eddie responds with ‘YES’. You take a deep breath and close your eyes, mentally preparing yourself, before proceeding with the next question.

“Can you show yourself to me?” There is the ultimate question and Eddie can’t help but ask why? Why were you interested in seeing him? He was a lost cause.

“No?” you ask more to yourself, still staring at the word through the eye of the planchette, and frown, defeated at his response.

Eddie wanted nothing more than to show himself to you, but he didn’t know how. He was nothing but a gust of air. No matter how hard he tried to show himself to those nearby, he was never successful.

You pull your hands back away and place them in your lap, unsure of where to go from here. Well, you couldn’t force a ghost to do something they didn’t want to do, but you hoped that maybe seeing him would make it less taxing while communicating.

There’s a sudden iciness that covers the side of your cheek, sending a chill down your spine. You flinch and your hand rises quickly to warm the spot. What was that? You didn't feel that when using the Ouija board. Was that Eddie?

Eddie almost disappears at the sudden reaction. He can’t believe it. You felt that. You could feel him. All he did was caress your face and it was different than pushing your hands in different directions because this time, neither of you needed the help of the Ouija board.

You’re not sure where he is as your eyes scan the room, you wanted to feel that again. Sure, the cold was a bit alarming, and as sharp as his icy touch was, so was the surge that flowed through you. It was unexplainable, but soothing.

It sucked for Eddie because he couldn’t keep your eyes trained on just him.

“Are you sure you can’t show yourself?” You ask again to the open area, this time convinced you didn’t need the Ouija board anymore.

However, Eddie still needed the board to reply. You sigh in defeat as you watch the planchette slide across to the word ‘YES’ on its own. You couldn’t allow yourself to get mad. You just couldn’t understand how it was possible for him to do all these other things, but not be able to show himself. Whatever it was, you’d just have to accept that you’d never understand ghost logic.

The sound of the planchette scraping against the board, offers you the word, ‘F-E-E-L’.

Feel? You definitely felt a presence and a touch, but now it was confirmed. He was trying to communicate through touch.

“Yes, I felt you!” you let Eddie know quite eagerly. The planchette remains unmoved after that and instead of what would appear to be awkward silence, the seconds that were passing by could be more appropriately compared to that of a ticking time bomb.

“Touch me,” you requested.

Eddie is stunned. If he were alive and well right now, he’d no doubt be on his knees for you with a command like that. He floats over to you and is only more than eager to touch you again, but he’s not sure of where. Feeling the soft anticipation of a ghostly tingle, he hesitantly places both hands on the underside of your jaw, in a cradle-like fashion, hoping it’ll stop your wandering eyes.

You are still, frozen in place, now seeing the breath of air that escapes your mouth in a cloud of smoke, his comforting scent invading your senses. It was him. It had been him this whole time and he’s definitely here in front of you.

“More,” you say barely above a whisper, not paying mind to the coldness.

Fuck. Eddie inwardly swears at himself as you unintentionally egg him on. Testing his limits, what more could he already lose? He was already dead.

He goes all in. He leans in and presses his cold, dead lips to yours in the most gentle and light kiss ever. When he pulls away, he sees that your eyes have closed and he can’t help immediately start to wonder if you actually felt that or not. He sure as hell felt it. He can’t be certain as he tries to gauge the expression on your face. Shit, why did he do that?

“Do it again,” and this time with a more affirmative tone, Eddie doesn’t question anything anymore and obeys. His lips back on yours, but with added pressure, you let out a small moan and purse your lips to respond. You don’t think about how silly it must look to be making out with practically nothing, not knowing what to do with your hands because there was nothing to hold onto, but despite that it all felt too real. He was real.

Eddie’s mind is reeling at the sound of pleasure that spews from your mouth, he can’t comprehend how this is even possible. He’d been dying to know what kissing you felt like - what you felt like at all.

When your lips start to get numb and turn blue, disregarding the temperature, you reluctantly pull away. You open your eyes to a dark room and wish you could at least hear him, the sounds of ecstasy played a pivotal role in intimacy.

Your body temperature returns to normal, blood rushing, mind a haze. You stand up and head towards your bedroom without another word. Would he take the cue to follow you? You can’t be sure. You can’t see or hear him, but your actions say otherwise and make you both feel as if he wasn’t dead at all. It was now a game of cat and mouse.

Eddie or not, you were unabashedly turned on. In moments like these, it was hard to be in control of your own body and the only thing you could do was give in to the desires. In this instance, your body couldn’t make up its mind because as if you weren’t just freezing your ass off while kissing Eddie, you were suddenly hot all over.

Flustered, you pulled down your shorts on the way to your bed, tossed them carelessly across the room, perhaps a little too harshly. If he wasn’t going to help you out, then you would do the job yourself. A mad smile on your face, surprised you weren’t the least bit embarrassed if he was going to watch you or not. It only added to the thrill and the excitement.

Trying to regulate your breathing, you lie down on the center of your bed and run your hands over your face down to where you need them the most. Your fingers experimentally graze along the wet spot of your panties, groaning in acknowledgment of the sudden arousal. There’s no sense in conjuring up a justifiable explanation as to how something so seemingly innocent as the kiss you shared with Eddie got you so crazed. Not wasting any time, you lift your hips up and bend your legs to slip the flimsy garment off.

No longer a thin barrier between, your entire body shivers slightly, a sharp gasp escaping your lips, when your fingers make first contact with your clit. Using your slick, you begin to rub slow circles over it. Your stomach sinks in with each relieving exhale, your breathing growing heavy. Your fingers run off course and dip into your folds, past the floodgates, resurfacing now coated by your own wetness as you use it to an advantage in invigorating your bundle of nerves.

Eyes closed, you start to think about Eddie. How his skin would feel against yours. How you’d tangle your fingers in his wild hair. How his hands would feel on your sensitive parts. You want to feel guilty or believe this was all wrong. Instead of getting off to someone like Steve or someone real for that matter, you lied there baring yourself to a ghost. You try to picture that baby face of his, and all that you could based on the lone image you found of him to get you through the finish line.

The curve of his full lips that you were fortunate enough to feel on yours moments ago. You already knew they were soft, but what about his other features? Did his eyes sparkle or were they like black holes? They had to be of a set that could hypnotize someone. Maybe it was okay that you couldn’t see him because if you had you just knew that you’d be at his mercy.

And that was just on the surface of it all. How was he like in other areas? How would his tongue feel against yours, on your skin, in you…The simulation causes your thighs to clamp up, knees involuntarily knocking into each other; your other hand clutching onto the bed sheets. He made it that easy.

A thin layer of sweat coats your skin from the increase in body heat, then you hiss at the abrupt familiar cold sensation that runs through you, his alluring scent filling your nostrils, your legs forcefully separate; all tells you that Eddie was here. You pick your head up, always a small hint of disappointment flashes through your features at the fact you still and won’t be likely to ever see him.

It shoots a wild pang through Eddie's chest because he doesn’t miss it; never knowing he could read someone so openly. He missed a few significant things in his life already. He missed graduating high school. He missed a chance to get a better car. He missed a chance to sell out venues. He missed playing music. He missed his uncle. He missed his friends. He missed Hellfire. He missed out on someone like you. He missed a chance to develop a deep connection with someone. Life was so cruel.

Your thoughts aren’t as far away from his as you start to wonder, why was it all so easy - seamlessly flawless - with him? Running with only first-party information and two silent conversations, you were already willing to go headfirst for halos for Eddie. The feeling had you wishing he had lived to one day cross paths with you. Would he have still been in Hawkins when you moved here? Would you be neighbors, friends or more? Would it have been him and not Steve? All the could've and would’ve scenarios sprouting in your head. You got too attached learning about him. Was it pathetic? You didn’t care anymore, whatever would ultimately bring you to him, you just knew in the end you’d die happy.

Your head falls back in defeat and you try to keep your emotions at bay, until you feel the hem of your shirt being lifted, exposing your midriff. Your lips cave in and you wince at each uncalculated cold peck Eddie’s lips leave on you. Whereas you felt minor stings at how cold his touches were in the beginning, for the first time, Eddie felt like he was on fire at how hot to the touch you were in this moment. This moment with him.

His lips create a path down to your core, and the contrast in temperature felt good. Not knowing what to do with your hands again, your arms lie sprawled on the bed on either side of your body.

Cool air brushes past your folds and your heartbeat spikes up again. Eddie never imagined he’d ever be able to make someone feel this way. It was pointless for him, but he dreamt about it countless times. And then he wickedly thinks how he was dumb to not spy on you during those nightly sessions. He was missing out. You were absolutely divine in his eyes.

“Eddie,” his name slips past your lips breathlessly when he makes contact with your swollen clit. It started off so innocently, but when he pulled his mouth back to ran a long, flat strip over your folds, giving him a taste of what you had to offer, he wanted more.

The cold, with each bit of contact from Eddie, was no longer a thing as your body quickly acclimated to it. Eddie uses his fingers to spread your pussy lips apart and allows himself to get a better taste. Your head lulls back, sinking deeper into your pillows.

There’s only so much you could do to communicate with Eddie, you want to feel his hands all over, but instead you pick up on the slack, pulling your shirt over your head to grab and squeeze handfuls of your breasts, massaging them and adding onto the sensation. Your groping proves to be successful when you draw out more noises.

Eddie’s eyes never tear away from watching your reaction, the way your body moves, squirming from pleasure - pleasure he’s bestowing on you. His mouth doesn’t require guidance as his tongue pulls all the right moves, weaving its way through and between your folds. He drags out a long moan from you when he finally dips his tongue inside your wet hole and back out, before capturing your clit between his lips, sucking on it. The sweet suction sensation on your clit as his lips enclose around it.

“I-I need...fuck,” you try to voice out your desires, but you’re reveling in so much, especially in being able to feel Eddie’s fingers digging into the sides of your hips; you bite down hard on your bottom lip, you could taste a hint of copper already, trying your hardest to not let out a crazed scream.

Eddie doesn’t want you to hold back though, so he introduces his fingers into the mix as they and his tongue take turns in you. The addition of his thick fingers start taking you closer to your impending orgasm. You wished you could hear him and all the sounds of his onslaught. To hear those pretty boy moans, the filthy pops and slurping noises. Was he a dirty talker? God. Imagine the filthy things he would say or do.

He gets the message loud and clear. You want to come, and so he quickens his actions until your body goes into overdrive. He could feel your walls closing in tight around his digits, your wetness pooling around them and spilling, he almost loses control of your withering body. When you reach your peak, your mouth and eyes snap open, a choked gasp transitioning into a straggling loud moan, pupils blown, the sweat beads trickling down, and your back arching up in perfect bridge-like fashion. It almost looks like you’re being possessed when your orgasm rocks through you before you come back down releasing choppy breaths from its intensity.

Exhausted, you struggle to stay conscious wanting to communicate with Eddie one last time, but it felt like the orgasm almost sucked the life out of you. His fingers slowly slipping out and the puffs of cool air against your pussy are an indication that Eddie is still present and he wasn’t going to go anywhere just yet. He hasn’t moved from his position and is short of breath, in awe of seeing you coming undone for him and more so the fact that this happened. This wasn’t just another one of his dreams.

For as long as he’d been an apparition, he’d always hoped to be able to finally pass on and if this was his actual last day on Earth or wherever he was, then he’d gladly accept it because one night with you was enough.

Eddie would die happy.

A/N: Reblogs, comments & likes are appreciated. 🥹 Do we want a part 2? Let me know! Thank you for reading! 🫶🏻

#mrwinterr writes #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #ghost!eddie munson #ghost!eddie #stranger things fic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington

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tmpestuous · 2 years

Text

Like I Want You

part one.

summary: you and bucky have been best friends your entire life and it’s never been anything but platonic. so why do things get so bad when he gets a new girlfriend?

pairing: college!bucky x reader

word count: 4.4k

warnings: fluff, angst, childhood friends to lovers, female!oc, sexual references, mentions of grief and accidents, mentions of dead parents, bucky is down horrendous

a/n: here is me trying to convince myself not to only write avenger!reader fics that i have too many ideas for… i kinda hate this but it’s okay

"sometimes i wish you knew,

but i disguise the truth.

i say i'm happy, but i'm still stuck on us."

After a long and exhausting week, you were more than grateful that it was finally the weekend. Midterms during the Fall were always the worst–you felt they might have been even worse than finals week with how drained you were and no short vacation in your near future.

All you wanted to do was head back to your dorm, lay down, and relax. But it seemed like the universe always had different plans for you than you expected. A quick six knocks on your door and you knew it was Bucky. Though you were always excited to see him, you didn’t plan on seeing him so soon after a midterm that felt like it drained your entire soul away.

Nonetheless, you eagerly made your way to the door. Bucky always knew how to lift your spirits and you were sure this time would be no different.

You and Bucky had been destined to become best friends since before either of you were born. Your parents were very close to each other and having kids the same age only meant they made sure your friendship was in your cards.

What they hadn’t anticipated is just how close you and Bucky would be. You did just about everything together. When you were kids, you’d be in the same clubs. In elementary school, you both went to swimming classes together. In middle school, you’d joined the debate club while Bucky started participating in sports and you’d be right there to support him. He’d support you in your debate competitions. The same routine continued in high school, and now college.

Bucky was your support system and you were his. Of course, you both had your families who were just as supportive in everything you both desired to participate in, but nobody understood you both like you understood each other. When Bucky first woke up after his accident that resulted in him losing his left arm, you were the first person he asked for. You stayed with him throughout his entire recovery process and getting used to his prosthetic. He was there for you when your dad died and you had a rough grieving process. He was sympathetic to your loss, having lost his own dad, and helped you through every step of it all.

Nobody had you like Bucky had you. You were like each other’s lifeline, and nothing was gonna change that.

You and Bucky were both very comfortable with each other; you’ve slept in the same bed, given each other forehead and cheek kisses plenty of times, and you both even decided to be each other’s first kiss to somehow avoid heartbreak and embarrassment. However, you never attributed it to romance and you were sure Bucky didn’t either. You’ve had your fair share of relationships and so had he.

So why was it so shocking to open the door and see Bucky with his arm around a girl?

“Hey, bunny,” he said with a grin on his face, but you were more centered on the girl leaning her head on his shoulder and how you were usually the one doing so.

“Y/n?” Bucky said in a concerned tone, snapping you out of the weird trance you put yourself in. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you said confidently, though your head was very much in a daze. “I’m okay. Hi, honey. I wasn’t expecting you so early.” You said, not directly addressing the girl under his arm.

“I had class and was walking this way anyway since Alina, here, lives in this building,” he said as he smiled down at the girl next to him. “Alina, this is Y/n, my best friend.”

“Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” she said while shifting her gaze to look at you, extending her hand for a shake that you politely participated in. “James has told me so much about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” you said, though you were still slightly confused about the current situation. “Are you Bucky’s… girlfriend? Friend?”

Bucky eyed you with furrowed brows and widened eyes like you had embarrassed the living shit out of him. Alina shrugged her shoulders playfully.

“I guess you could say I’m his girlfriend,” she replied, though you could tell from her tone that she definitely wasn’t sure. “James and I have been seeing each other for a few months now, maybe it’s time to make it official.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” you said, crossing your arms across your chest. “Maybe I’ll see you around the building more often now that you’re a familiar face?”

You were definitely trying to be friendly, though all of the questions you were about to ask Bucky were floating through your mind like letters in some alphabet soup. She seemed nice, but there was something weirdly off about how you felt about her and Bucky. You were a bit hurt that after “a few months”, this was the first you were hearing of her. Not to mention Bucky’s metal arm, the one he held so much disdain for, was wrapped around her like it was second nature to him.

“Yeah, definitely!” Alina responded to your suggestion with a smile. “I should probably head back to my suite now, I have a lot of work to catch up on.” She turned to Bucky and gave him a long hug, but Bucky was staring right at you in confusion. After she pulled away, she interchanged glances between you and your friend with the brooding stare. “I’ll see you tomorrow, James. It was really nice meeting you, Y/n.”

After he said his goodbye and Alina walked down the hallway towards the elevator, Bucky made his way inside your suite behind you, shutting your front door.

“What was that all about, Y/n?” he asked hesitantly, not exactly sure of your feelings.

“I don’t know, James,” you emphasized on his name. He hated being called that. By anyone and everyone. You don’t even remember the last time his mother uttered his name with the exception of scolding him over doing something wrong. “You were seeing someone for a few months and didn’t even decide to mention it to me, which you’ve never done before, and then didn’t even give me a heads up before introducing her to me.”

“I didn’t know where I was going with her until recently, Y/n,” he said softly. “I think I might have feelings for her. We’ve hooked up a few times but you know I’ve never been tied down to the same person for a few months. I’m trying to find someone to be serious with.”

For some reason, in the back of your mind, you had wondered, Why not me? But you quickly shoved the thought aside. Bucky was your best friend, nothing more and nothing less.

“Okay, Jamie,” you said. “I trust you. I’m happy for you. I just wished you had told me sooner.”

You weren’t really upset with him. You honestly weren’t even that upset that he didn’t tell you. Something just felt off, but you wanted to be supportive of your best friend. It was the least you could do.

Bucky stepped toward you and cupped your face. “I know, bunny,” he said remorsefully. “I’m sorry. I was nervous things wouldn’t work out and I really wanted you to like her. I won’t keep anything from you again, okay?”

You smiled slightly as you nodded, looking up into his pretty, blue eyes. They were a lot more blue than you’d realized before and you found yourself weirdly getting lost in them. Your thoughts got interrupted by Bucky kissing your forehead three times and pulling you into a hug.

“I love you, bunny, so much,” he said before pulling away and looking in your eyes again. “Forgive me and watch a movie with me? I’ll let you pick this time.”

“You say you’ll let me pick every time and then deny every suggestion I make, Buck,” you said as you furrowed your eyebrows playfully.

“I mean it this time,” he fought back, sticking his pinky out in front of you. “Pinky promise.”

You intertwined your pinky with his, “Okay, honey, I forgive you.”

He smiled wide at you before grabbing your arm and dragging you to the living room. You were at least glad you were back to your normal banter and hoped it’d stay for longer than usual.

On the contrary, though, you were seeing less and less of Bucky as the weeks went by. You’d make plans and somehow, he’d always end up flaking for some obnoxious and random reason. The common denominator in almost every excuse? Alina.

First, it was when you were going to have your weekly study-dinner date together.

Hey, bunny. Alina’s taking me to her favorite food spot today and I totally double-scheduled the same day of our date by accident. Raincheck until tomorrow?

Then it was when you were both supposed to go back home for the weekend for a family event.

I won’t be able to go back home this weekend actually, bunny. Ma’s really upset with me but Alina and I are studying for a big exam together and I could use the help.

Then it was another study-dinner date. A movie night. Even just a regular hangout day.

You hadn’t seen Bucky for more than an hour at a time in the last week and a half. It was not only frustrating but hurt your feelings. You had always come first in Bucky’s life after his family, so to feel replaced was something you’ve never had to face nor address before. It also felt like Bucky didn’t care, which confused you even more.

One day, you had gone to a party with your suitemates when Bucky and Alina had caught your eye.

Bucky wasn’t one for big parties, he’d usually be off in the corner somewhere circling a drink in his cup after being dragged to said party by Steve and Sam.

But this time, he was in the middle of the crowd, dancing with Alina without a care in the world. He didn’t look the most comfortable doing it, but he was doing it for her. That was all you picked up on. Bucky caught a glimpse of you as he danced before whispering in Alina’s ear and making his way over to you.

“Hi, bunny,” he said with a slight slur in his voice. He wasn’t drunk but he certainly wasn’t sober either.

The stench of alcohol on his breath also smacked you right in the face like it had a tangible hand.

“Hi, Bucky,” you said, more concerned about his inebriated state that he’s rarely ever in without his buddies around. “Where are Sam and Steve?”

“They were acting lame and didn’t wanna come with me,” he said with a pout. “I don’t think they like Alina, they immediately said no after I said she had invited me. You like Alina, don’t you, bunny?”

Even though he had a few drinks in his system, you could tell Bucky was being mostly sincere. He valued your opinion a lot, and he also valued Sam’s and Steve’s. You noticed how upset he was and cupped his face to look at him.

“Yeah, yeah, of course I do, honey,” you reassured, though not totally sincere. You didn’t want to upset him any further and you didn’t have any other reason to dislike the girl other than the fact that she was taking your best friend away from you. “You should probably go back to your dorm and get some rest, don’t you think? It’s late and I don’t want you out drunk alone.”

“I’m not alone, silly bunny,” he said with a chuckle. “Alina’s here with me. She’ll take me back.”

“I know she’s here, Buck, I just meant—”

Then, as if on cue, Alina walked up and wrapped her arms around him, making you subconsciously tear your grasp from him. She didn’t even seem buzzed.

“Hey, James, you wanna go back to my room? We can have more fun there than here,” she said, catching a quick glance at you before staring in Bucky’s eyes.

He pondered for a bit, looking at her before looking at you. There was a bit of sadness in his eyes when he stared at you, almost as if he was hesitating to leave you here because she asked him to go. He looked back at her and nodded.

“Yeah, let’s go,” he agreed, which only stung you in the chest even further. He turned back to you and waved softly as they walked off, “I’ll see you tomorrow, bunny.”

He, in fact, did not see you the next day. Or the following. Or the day after that. You hadn’t even received so much as a text from him to let you know he was okay.

This wasn’t the Bucky you knew at all. This wasn’t your Bucky. But, being the good friend you were, you didn’t want to intrude on his relationship.

A few days after the party, you had gone to his suite to see Steve for a project you were working on together. The boys usually spent Friday nights playing some sort of game together; it was their way of bonding and de-stressing after a long week. That was exactly why Steve’s text took you by surprise on that Friday night.

Walking in through the door after Steve opened it, you saw Sam sitting on the couch watching TV. Bucky was nowhere to be found, his door sealed shut.

“He’s not here if that’s what you’re wondering,” Sam voiced, making you snap your head towards him. “That girl’s got him wrapped around her finger. I’ve never seen him act so much like a lost puppy.”

“At least you’ve seen him,” you thought out loud, almost immediately regretting it after the words slipped from your mouth.

Steve popped into the living room, taking his previous seat and looking at you. “You haven’t… seen him?” He asked incredulously, a look of complete disbelief across his face.

“Not since Saturday, and even that was an accident,” you shrugged, taking a seat in between the both of them.

You explained your recent, unwarranted dynamic with Bucky to the boys and they were more surprised than you were. They then explained their dynamic and how Bucky had even ditched practice to hang out with her, telling their coach he wasn’t feeling well. You sighed to yourself, not understanding how Bucky could ever get so distant from the people most important to him. It wasn’t like him at all, and it only made you even more upset to see Sam and Steve hurt by his lack of presence.

“I’m so sorry, kid,” Sam said, patting your shoulder lightly. “We figured he was avoiding us but we definitely didn’t think he’d ever do that to you.”

“It’s okay, I just wish he’d talk to me more.”

You stayed the night at their place, Steve eventually grabbing you a blanket from his room and making sure you were comfortable on the couch. Bucky had come back in later that evening after both Sam and Steve had been asleep, seeing you asleep on their couch. It broke his heart but he also didn’t have the guts to wake you up by taking you to his bed. He sighed to himself before walking into his room with tears glossed in his eyes.

You picked up more on Bucky’s sudden shift when you had gone home one weekend for a regular family dinner and he brought her with him. Bucky’s never introduced any of his flings to his mother before, knowing she was a woman of high standards. And boy, were her standards high today.

“Who’s this, James?” Winnifred asked her only son. You could tell she was serious when she used his first name, her eyes gazing between Bucky and Alina in curiosity.

“This is Alina, Ma,” Bucky wrapped his arm around her. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, Ms. Barnes—”

“It’s Mrs. Barnes,” Winnifred corrected. “How’d you two meet, James?”

“We have a class together and got paired up for a few discussions, then eventually started talking and now we’re here,” Bucky answered carefully. “I thought it was time to introduce you and Becca to her.”

“Hm,” was all she said. “Well, dinner is soon, so we’ll get to talk there.”

Winnifred made her way towards the kitchen where your mother was finishing up on the food with your sibling, not uttering another word to Alina.

In the dining area, you were helping set the table for dinner with Bucky’s sister, Rebecca, when she cleared her throat to get your attention. Looking up at her immediately, she looked around to make sure no one was hearing her before she spoke.

“This dinner tonight isn’t looking like a great idea,” she spoke anxiously. Rebecca Barnes was not one to be nervous about many things, so you were more than interested to hear her talk. When you didn’t say anything, she continued.

“I overheard Ma talking about that girl Bucky brought home and it didn’t really sound pretty,” she whispered loud enough for only you to hear her. “I have no idea what happened but if I were that girl, I’d take the first bus back home.”

You shrugged. Nobody in either of your families knew that you and Bucky had been distant lately and you didn’t really make the effort to say anything anyway. You were trying your best not to overthink it and convince yourself that you were actually being replaced, though you really had no evidence otherwise.

Then, on cue, the lovely couple walked into the room. Alina met your eyes right away before you mentioned having to ask your mother something before dinner and excusing yourself from the dining area. Bucky watched you walk off in confusion, not sure if you were avoiding him or not.

The truth was that Bucky was getting a bit tired of Alina. He wasn’t one to flake on plans at all, especially not plans with you or his family. Prior to this, the worst he’d ever done was accidentally sleep through Sam’s birthday dinner. But someway and somehow, Alina always set up plans for them and Bucky, being the gentleman he is, didn’t want to make it seem like he was more interested in spending time with his best friend than his girlfriend.

But he was. Throughout the past few weeks, Bucky realized he depended on your presence a lot more than he’d been able to recognize—even before meeting Alina. He never thought much of it, seeing as though you’d been friends for so long and never tried to pursue anything further. He had simply thought you never had those thoughts about him, so why should he have them about you? In all honesty, he felt he was using Alina to distract himself from the possibility of wanting you instead, which did make him feel awful about himself.

Don’t get him wrong, he does like Alina. He thinks she’s pretty, smart, and has a great personality. But she’s not for him. At least he’s starting to think so. The knock of sense only came when Sam and Steve had decided to grill him about it.

“So what’s going on with you and this Alayna girl?” Sam asked, eyes laser-focused on shuffling the deck of cards in front of him.

“It’s Alina, and nothing crazy is going on,” Bucky said monotonously. “We’re just going with the flow.”

“Going with the flow,” Steve repeated slowly before taking a sip of his drink. “Is that what you’re calling it, Buck?”

“What do you mean?”

Sam finished shuffling the cards before staring over at Bucky. “He means we both thought you were definitely gonna end up with Y/n and then you brought the randomest girl in here and sat her in the living room instead of taking her back to your room.”

“Y/n’s my best friend, she always has been,” Bucky reassured. “Nothing’s gonna change that.”

Steve set his drink down. “Are you sure about that or are you trying to convince yourself of that? I don’t know, Buck, this girl just isn’t for you, in my opinion. I haven’t even seen you so much as call Y/n in the past few weeks which is very unlike you,” he defended. Steve knew that Bucky had to hear it from someone, and he was more than positive that you weren’t going to try to butt in out of fear of pissing him off or making it seem like you were meddling with his relationship. Nonetheles, Steve also wasn’t going to blow up your spot and mentioned your conversation with him and Sam. It wasn’t his place.

Bucky stayed silent as Sam dealt the cards. He hadn’t talked to you the way you usually spoke to each other for about a week now, and if he said he didn’t miss you, he knew he’d be lying straight out of his ass. But he didn’t want to disappoint the first girl he thought he had feelings for.

But did it really seem like you were the one for him? You’ve both had your relationships and seen the end of those, both for yourselves and the other, and you’d always have each other’s backs in the end. But it was almost like an unspoken rule that you’d never pursue anything with each other. You’d never mentioned anything about it, neither had Bucky, and you were both too close for that to possibly be ruined by a romantic relationship.

But God, had Bucky thought about it. He’d shove the thoughts out of his mind because he felt it was useless. But was it actually worth trying? Was he wasting his own time by trying to convince himself otherwise?

“Buck, it’s your turn,” Sam said, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts.

“Right, sorry,” Bucky said before placing one of his cards down on the pile and finishing his turn by picking up one. “Did you guys really think I’d end up with Y/n?”

Sam chuckled. “Hell yeah, man. You two are perfect for each other. I think you’re also the only two in this world who don’t see it.”

Their whole conversation that day lingered in Bucky’s mind every day since then. But he never had the guts to speak up about them or break things off with Alina. He was too nice for that. He was raised better than to waste a woman’s time.

He had just hoped he hadn’t inadvertently ruined your friendship in the process.

Bucky and Alina helped Rebecca finish setting up the table. There wouldn’t be too many of you but it was both your family and Bucky’s, so there were always at least 6 mouths to account for.

You made your way back into the dining room, your mom and Bucky’s following suit behind. Bucky’s eyes landed on yours, though you quickly diverted your attention elsewhere. Everyone took their usual seats, including Bucky, who always sat across from his mother and next to his sister.

This meant that the only available seat was the head of the table, which was Bucky’s father, George’s, seat. Much to everyone’s dismay, Alina decided to sit there for the sake of sitting next to Bucky.

It was almost like someone had pressed pause on a movie with the way everyone froze and looked at her, Bucky included. Both ends of the table had always been left empty for your father and Bucky’s. It was another unspoken rule between everyone, since they had both always sat on their respective ends and no one felt the obligation or desire to sit in either chair.

“You can’t sit there,” Bucky spoke up, his voice cracking a bit. “Sit somewhere else.”

“I was just trying to sit next to y—”

“I said, sit somewhere else, Alina,” he repeated himself, a lot more bass in his voice that reminded you of George himself.

Rebecca quickly stood up from her seat before making her way to the empty seat in between you and her mother. Alina then took her spot awkwardly, the rest of the table entirely speechless.

“Let’s have dinner, shall we?” Bucky said stoically.

That was the most awkward family dinner you’ve had in your entire life, and not to mention the most silent. Once everyone was finished, Winnifred was the first to leave the table, your mother following suit. The rest of you cleaned up the table, your sibling and Rebecca choosing to take care of the dishes.

Since you were in Bucky’s family home this time around, the only space you’d usually sleep in was in Bucky’s room. Your mom had set your bags there, which left Alina in a space of confusion.

“Why are your bags in Bucky’s room?” She walked into the kitchen and asked you with an attitude drooling off her tongue as you were placing the plates back in the cabinets after drying them off.

“My mom probably put them there, she took my things up,” you replied matter-of-factly. “I usually stay in Bucky’s room when we sleep over. We’ve done it since we were kids.”

Bucky overheard your conversation as he stepped into the kitchen, returning from consoling his mother from the sheer embarrassment he just faced with his girlfriend completely disrespecting their house rules. She didn’t know better, he thought, but he knew his mother wouldn’t take that for an answer.

“We can sleep in the guest room, Alina,” Bucky interjected before Alina could reply, not wanting another awkward situation in the same night.

“You’re gonna sleep in the guest room of your own home for the sake of letting a guest sleep in your room?”

“Alin–”

“I’ll move my things and sleep in the guest room, Bucky. There’s nothing to worry about,” you stepped in with a stern shift in your tone, before walking out of the kitchen to collect your bags from his room.

Bucky felt embarrassed again. You had heard him starting to ask her not to embarrass him in front of his family another time for the rest of the night, but didn’t care to eavesdrop on a conversation that clearly didn’t concern you. Not after he’d ignored you for weeks.

You didn’t speak to Bucky for the rest of the visit, driving back to campus without a single word of acknowledgment. It hurt, it hurt really bad. But you held your own anyway, and just tried to focus on doing your best without him.

part two.

#bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes #bucky imagine #college!bucky

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skeletonpunching · 1 year

Text

Buddy Daddies interview with Toyonaga Toshiyuki and Uchiyama Koki

Interview with Toyonaga Toshiyuki and Uchiyama Koki (voice actors for Kurusu Kazuki and Suwa Rei) Interviewer: As we look back on "Buddy Daddies" up to this point - first of all, how do you feel about the early plot developments?

Toyonaga: The very beginning of episode 1 was an incredibly hard-boiled action scene, and then episode 2 was a total about-face - from that point on, it became more of a sitcom. I think that tonal shift was very intriguing, and everyone in the audience might have wondered, "Just where will things go from here?"

Uchiyama: It all started with a scene of assassins carrying out a mission, and the "assassins" premise itself was a very anime-typical hook in the first place. It seemed likely that there would be all sorts of drama, and so I expected a large proportion of the anime to be dedicated to that. But just like Toyonaga-san said, as the story progressed, the sitcom elements were unexpectedly pronounced; that left a strong impression on me as well.

Interviewer: Since then, Kurusu Kazuki, Suwa Rei, and Unasaka Miri have fully become a "family" - in review, are there any episodes that left a particular impression on you?

Toyonaga: Well, it's a fact that Kazuki and Rei are assassins, and they really did kill Miri's father...

Uchiyama: That was quite a grim start to the story, wasn't it.

Toyonaga: It sure was. And so the two of them find themselves obligated to look after this child, and they grapple with the conflicted feelings of "surely we can't actually bring her up, can we?" That's the first half of the series. Kazuki gets proactive about the parenting thing from pretty early on, but Rei's values and mindset change bit by bit over time... The part around episodes 8 and 9, when he reaches the point of thinking "it would be nice if life could go on like this", was very memorable.

Uchiyama: Episodes 8 and 9 left a real impression on me too. Episode 8 focuses on Rei's biological family, and it depicts a tragic battle with a character who seemed closely connected with Rei in the past. So going from that to the events of sports day in episode 9 is a major shift for him. At first, Rei wasn't especially keen on parenting or living together with a child, but now he's shouting at the top of his lungs in order to cheer for Miri. I found that scene incredibly dramatic. In the recording sessions for the early episodes, I was often directed to perform Rei with more "restraint", so it came as a real shock to raise my voice during sports day and shout "Go for it!" But looking back upon the story as a whole, I've tried to portray his gradual transformation over time; that was the moment it really hit me.

Interviewer: What do you think of Kazuki and Rei's buddy relationship?

Uchiyama: The "buddy concept" is fundamental to the series, but since Miri has been part of the mix right from the start, I have a stronger impression of them as a "trio", when it comes down to it. In a manner of speaking, I think this is a story about the buddies being wrapped around Miri's finger.

Toyonaga: Kazuki and Rei each have their own dark pasts and traumatic burdens, but they've never experienced what regular children go through while growing up and as teens. Of course, the setup of these two falling under the sway of the innocent Miri might be kind of disorienting, but it sure is ripe for drama. There were just so many points where I thought, "Right, of course that's how it'd go!" In that sense, I think the balance of the three-person dynamic is absolutely perfect. And as for my approach as an actor - I give a pretty aggressive performance, so sometimes I'm really riding roughshod over Ucchi (Uchiyama)... Rei is a character who has to be defined in direct opposition to Kazuki, so I'm always like, "Ucchi, I'm so sorry." (laughs)

Uchiyama: No, no, not at all! (laughs) If anything, I really enjoy those plot developments of Rei getting pushed around. The story is richly varied, and every episode has a major shift in tone, so even we actors have a lot of fun during the recording sessions. Speaking from the audience perspective, I think this series was designed to keep the viewers hooked to the very end.

Interviewer: The ins and outs of parenting are very realistically depicted. Which of those scenes left the strongest impression on you?

Toyonaga: Out of everything till now? It's got to be the episode where they send her to daycare.

Uchiyama: The rules and minutiae of what you have to bring to daycare really are so detailed.

Toyonaga: There's a whole list.

Uchiyama: And you need to put the name on every single thing. It was fun seeing Kazuki getting so worked up over that.

Toyonaga: I bet all the fathers and mothers of the world who've been through the same thing looked at Kazuki and Rei and went, "Right, right! It's tough, isn't it!" It's like Kazuki and Rei are receiving messages from all these viewers, and that leads to a reversal of the original setup. That's the point where I really sensed how far we'd come from episode 1's plot, and how unexpected this gap was. And this is a minor thing, but: Rei sleeping in the bathroom. It felt like a fantasy element in the middle of all this realism - that's the kind of deft balance only an anime can pull off.

Interviewer: Throughout all these interviews, we've heard from members of the staff that Toyonaga-san's performance of Kazuki and Uchiyama-san's performance of Rei "feel like the script was written for them". How do you feel about these comments?

Toyonaga: We were selected through auditions, but if that's how they feel after taking a chance on us, then I'm truly honoured as an actor. Everyone on the production team, starting with Director Asai, has given us a lot of leeway with the performances, and I think that's a huge part of it as well. Even if we take an odd or unexpected approach to the material, they allow it, and they have the capacity to chew it over and examine it closely. That's part of what brings all this together.

Uchiyama: When it comes to an original series, the cast is always wondering how the series will turn out. I suppose those on the staff side don't wonder quite as much as us, but I'm sure there are also things they don't know until they actually get going. For adaptations, the creators often turn to the source material for answers, but in an original series, the image of the characters is truly solidified by listening to the actual voices during the recording sessions. I think that's the true charm of an original series.

Toyonaga: When I think about it, it's a real privilege as an actor - receiving the outline of a character and getting to flesh that out through trial and error. By adding my personal touches to a character, I can put my own spin on things, and that's a lot of fun - but at the same time, it gives me a responsibility. There are things I have to be careful with. I need to present my own take on a character, while making sure that the emotional development and payoff fit perfectly.

Uchiyama: I've worked with Director Asai multiple times, and I know that I can safely leave the directorial decisions to him. I have faith that as long as we do our best during recording, he'll elevate our work to a whole new level with his wonderful images. I feel no misgivings at all. And so, as a viewer, I myself look forward eagerly to every completed episode.

Interviewer: "Buddy Daddies" is entering the final stages of the plot at last. What highlights does it hold?

Toyonaga: In episode 7, we see Karin - the younger sister of Kazuki's late wife. And Rei's father shows up in episode 8...

Uchiyama: You get to see their respective pasts.

Toyonaga: And after that, in episode 9, their feelings towards Miri gradually merge into one. But it's not just those "emotions" - there are also certain things which mustn't be forgotten... And from episode 10 onwards, those things truly take shape. What will they actually do with Miri? Can the trio's relationship really go on like this? And Ogino Ryo - an assassin who frequents Kyu-chan's (Kugi Kyutaro's) shop - gets involved. In this world of assassins, what will become of a girl like Miri, who lives a cheerful and hearty life despite her forlorn circumstances? That's what the story will address at last.

Interviewer: Just how will all the pieces that have been laid out so far be brought together...

Toyonaga: When you're wondering what will really happen with Miri, you should remember there's still someone who's related to her by blood... I think that relationship is going to play a key role.

Uchiyama: In a sense, there are some rather serious plot developments towards the end. I'm very curious how audiences will react at that point. I think those hard-boiled story elements are depicted in a style that's very characteristically "Buddy Daddies". I feel like those same plot points might be approached quite differently, in another series with a different atmosphere.

Interviewer: I hear the last episode has a plot point that was somewhat unexpected for both of you...?

Uchiyama: I was wondering how this story would be concluded, but I truly didn't have the slightest clue until I read the script for the finale.

Toyonaga: But the fact that Director Asai chose to end the story this way - naturally, it makes you reflect upon what he was trying to convey through this series.

Uchiyama: Personally, it came as quite a surprise.

Toyonaga: As far as the ending is concerned, I'm curious what all the viewers will make of it. For example, there are bound to be the realist types who make comments like "here's how things would go in real life", even for an anime. When it comes to those people, what I want to say isn't "fact is stranger than fiction", but rather, "Actually, isn't this surprisingly realistic?" That's the question I'll put to them. I think the ending makes you consider whether you can accept something like this.

Uchiyama: Considering the story as a whole, if you take out Kazuki, Rei, and Miri's backstories and relationship as a "pseudo-family", I think you'd be left with a very dark atmosphere. It was a new experience for me to witness how this could be depicted in an original series, through the lens of anime, and how it could be shown from this particular angle.

Toyonaga: I think you'll find yourself surprised, in some form or other. Last of all, I hope you'll enjoy each and every episode till the very end.

#buddy daddies #buddy daddies interview #toyonaga toshiyuki #uchiyama kouki

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footprintsinthesxnd · 2 years

Text

I meant it when I said for better or worse

Pairings: Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell x reader

Warnings: mention of miscarriage, infertility, terminal illness, dying

Summary: Pete reminds you that he is there for the long haul.

Massive thanks to @callsign-phoenix for proof reading this for me. Congratulations on 500 followers.

Standing by the window, the world seemed to move by so fast. Everyone was out enjoying the 4th of July weekend. The sun was shining, the smell of cooking meat filled the air and you could hear the occasionally misfiring firework that had been let off. The world seemed so alive and yet you felt trapped, stuck inside while everyone went on without you. 4th July celebrations had always been your favourite but now it just reminded you of what you had lost.

“Honey, come on, you need to rest. The doctors said you need to keep your strength up.” Pete came up beside you and rested a hand gently on your frail shoulder. “Sweetheart, have you eaten anything today?”

“What’s the point!” You snapped at him, “I’m dying, Pete, so what’s the fucking point.”

Pete looked hurt, more from the fact that you were dying than your outburst. He knew you were hurting. After the diagnosis you’d shut down, you shut everyone out, including him. Eventually, you’d let him slowly back into your life and he had been your greatest gift. He took care of your every need from hospital appointments, to assisting you in the shower. Pete was there for the long haul. When you’d started losing your hair, he’d shaved his head so that you were matching. How could you not love this man? The doctors seemed to be positive and thought that your treatment was going well, but some days you just felt like it was over. Those were the days you needed Pete the most.

“Come on love, let's get you something to eat, ok.” He wrapped his arm around your waist and supported you as you made your way back to the sofa. “Rooster and the others are coming round later. We’re still gonna do 4th July, alright love.”

“Thank you, Pete. I’m sorry,” you mumbled, he’d gently helped you sit down before heading out to the kitchen to grab you some food. Rooster had become like the son you never had and he looked at you as his mother after Carole died. Your diagnosis had hit him hard but you all supported each other through it and he would often come to hospital visits with you if Pete had to work.

After eating, you two sat down to watch a movie before the others were due to arrive. You watched a rom-com and although you knew Pete wasn’t a fan, he knew you loved them. The couple in the film had a perfect life. They went on holiday, they did sports together, they loved their job, and they had kids. That was the hardest one, not having children. Yes, you’d loved your job as an aviator and you missed it dearly, but you had always wanted to be a mother. Pete was ecstatic when you’d told him you were pregnant, both of you couldn’t believe you were going to have a little family of your own. But life had other plans and after multiple miscarriages, you’d realised that maybe you weren’t meant to be a mother. It broke you but Pete was there to pick up the pieces. Just like he was when you were diagnosed with cancer. He’d always been there and he never asked for anything in return.

You hadn’t noticed you’d been crying until you spoke, “I’m so sorry, Pete. I’m sorry for everything.”

Pete looked down at you shocked, “what are you sorry for love? Hey, what’s wrong? Are you in pain? Do you want me to get your medication?” His face was riddled with panic and this only made you cry more.

“You don’t deserve this.”

“Oh Angel, it’s you who doesn’t deserve this. You are the kindest, most generous person I have ever met and I am lucky to call you my wife.” This only brought more tears to your eyes and Pete pulled you in close, holding you as your shoulders shook. “We will get through this darling. I meant it when I said for better or for worse. I’m not going anywhere.”

You’d stopped crying by this point and were gripping hold of his white T-shirt.

“I love you, Pete Mitchell.” He smiled brightly at you. “I love you too (y/n) Mitchell.”

Tagliatelle: @callsign-phoenix @topguncortez

Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in any of my writing or use the tag list in my bio.

#top gun maverick #pete maverick mitchell #pete mitchell #maverick x reader #sad fic #top gun movie #maverick x y/n #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster top gun #top gun incorrect quotes #call sign-phoenix500

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tutuandscoot · 12 days

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Hi! I'm new to Tumblr and to Virtue/Moir content (I have never shipped anyone before but ever since I clicked on that 2018 Olympic free dance while scrolling down my YouTube recs, I'm in love with their relationship. It's very different from relationships that we usually witness in pop culture. There's so much love and such a strong mutual understanding between them which I haven't seen in many people. I 'm not going to call it platonic because it's much deeper than that. I'm Sri Lankan so Winter sports (let alone ice dance) were never discussed growing up. Honestly, I didn't even know that pair skating is different from ice dance until a few weeks ago, lol. I was so confused.

I'm not really interested in watching ice dance because they're not competing anymore😭 although I watched a few of Papadakis/Cizeron, Donhoe/Hubbel, Poje/Weaver routines. P/C are great (Love their flowy style but I'm not an expert to judge) but nobody can replace V/M. They were something else. When I watched Tessa and Scott Skate for the first time, I honestly thought they were married. That's how good they were at it. There's this inexplicable soulmate energy between which I haven't seen in many people. It's so rare!

So, all I want to ask is if there's anything I should know about them? Maybe little endearing details about them which you adore and want new fans to know ❤️

Hi lovely..

Sorry this has taken a bit to get back to.

I’m obsessed with your takes on VM, and you bring things up that I’ve always felt about them but couldn’t put into words.

I’m the same as you, I really don’t care about the sport removed from vm, when I do watch skating it is mostly older competitions/competitors from VM’s era and earlier. I still keep mildly up to date but mostly just to complain about how no one is as good as vm and the sport has gone to mostly shit since they retired 😅.

I was a little stumped when I first read this and thinking about which of VM’s universe amount if endearing qualities to specifically point out..

The thing I love most I think this is how kind they are to each other.. OBVIOUSLY they have had hard times throughout their 27+year relationship, some of which is well documented/they spoken about and other small disagreements that literally every person in any relationship experiences.. but throughout their career and relationship post- skating is just how enormously clear the deeper then deep level of care they have for each other is and will always have and the beautiful ways they express it. Some examples: The Hug.. beyond the ritualistic need for them to do it pre-skate it is just the most heart melting thing to witness and think about. Wanting to be an extension of and synchronised with each other in every way. The way they hold hands.. there’s so much car ens security in not using station al dance hold as is custom on ice, it’s an expression of just wanting to be as close as possible al the time. They way they look into each others eyes so intently and with such empathy and understanding.

There is soooooo much more but this would be to long

Some of my fave stories:

Scott leaving a bucket full to the brim of rice at T’s door step before a world championships to ensure her of all the work they had put in to becoming the best in the world- T says this is the best present she’s ever been given

How T was there for Scott during their first few comeback comps where one of his closest friends suddenly passed away, Scott recalling how T was the only safe space and literally holding her hand and looking in her eyes was the only thing that kept him from completely falling apart.

How they support each other after failures (there’s heaps of evidence of this) and praise each other in triumphs.

Most of all I think how they would none of what they have if not for each other and how eternally grateful they are for having met and they life they have shared they wouldn’t give up for anything!

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brightlight-dazzlingeyes · 1 year

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between the lines | chapter 02

rúben dias x original female character [+18]

synopsis: isabella is a sports journalist covering the premier league. she has sworn to never get involved with a football player. that is, until she meets a handsome portuguese defender. warnings: incorrect journalism references; timeline of events are not faithful to real life; i have never been to england; mutual pining; romantic comedy; minors dni.

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

Chapter 02 — There’s only one F in Fulham

The very first Premier League game that I’ve covered was at Craven Cottage; it was a sunny day on the riverside and the home team tied with Liverpool, 2-2, on the first matchday of the season. Ever since then I’ve held an over sentimental feeling for the Fulham stadium and the press boxes where you can’t really see the field thanks to the structure poles. On colder days, the Cottage is not as charming and I’m reminded that I actually chose to work in England so I just have to deal with it.

Regardless of the weather, it was always nice to watch City play on a Sunday. Makes the rest of the week feel normal. Melissa, who accompanied me on the way in and on the way out, was having a great day planning what I should wear and what kind of makeup I should put on for my date the next day.

“You have to shave. Full brazilian!" She said, way too loudly, as we were leaving the stadium.

“It’s a first date with a stranger.” I emphasize.

“You never know, honey, better to be prepared.”

She lent me a red dress and a pair of black Louboutins, and it took hours for me to convince myself to wear them. I do look hot, the type of ‘hot’ I'm constantly trying to avoid looking given the circumstances of my job. The dress is tight on the top, with thin straps and it flows to right above my knees.

“Oh my god, I feel like I’ve been standing here for three years.” I speak to myself in the mirror. It was almost time to leave and I didn’t have a second outfit option. Alright, what did Mel say? I’m interesting? I can fix Chelsea? Yes, I can wear a red dress and go on a date. Okay. I call an Uber. It was a penthouse restaurant, and we were supposed to meet at the table. To my surprise, when I reached the elevator, the last person on earth I wanted to see at that moment, was right by my side.

“Oh. Hi.”

“Hi, Isa!”

We both look at the elevator and then back at each other, as if we were waiting for the other to make a move. Neither of us do. Instead, Rúben says:

“I didn’t see you yesterday.”

“Oh, yeah, I was interviewing the Fulham players.”

“You should be interviewing the winners.” He smirks and I smile at him. He looks at me from head to toe and I glance back to the elevator, embarrassed.

We both decide, at the same time, to press the button. Our hands touch. Barely, but they do. I pull my hand away from him immediately, on instinct, and I hear myself gasping. My face is bright red and the situation becomes even more awkward because I realize he had the exact same reaction as I had. So I stare at him, partially waiting for him to smile again and tell me another joke, partially waiting for him to mock me and reject me. But he just stares right back. The interaction lasted for less than a minute, maybe less than a second, maybe for just a moment. The elevator door opens up and I’m just standing there wondering who the hell pressed the button.

“I think we’re supposed to go in.” Rúben says holding the door open.

We walk in together and I know for a fact that my face matches the color of my dress. I try to avoid looking at him or thinking about how hot he looks. Is he here for a date also? Well, fuck me. At least it is a pretty big space, there’s no way we’re seating close to each other. Right? We don’t say another word to each other until the door opens again, finally at the restaurant entrance hall.

“I hope you have fun on your date.” Rúben is not really looking at me when he says that.

“You too.” I reply and we finally make eye contact again. He shakes his head.

“Oh, no. I’m not on a date. It’s a business lunch.”

“Okay, have fun on your business then.” I wink at him and he smiles, agreeing.

We go search for our tables and of course, of course, we are sitting close to each other. In the horrible angle where I could, if I wanted, to spend the entire lunch just looking at him. I won’t do it, of course, but it pisses me off that I could. Sexy doctor is very sexy in real life so my anger lessens for a second.

“Hi.”

“Hi, you must be Isabella!”

He has a beautiful voice. We shake hands and start to make small talk. About my sister-in-law and my little niece, about the weather and what it's like to live in Manchester. I have to hold back and not just straight up point at the table at the back to our left and say: ‘Hey, Rúben Dias is sitting right there. And yes, I have a crush on him. So this date is going great.’ Instead I just nod and listen to him talk about his work. Are business lunches supposed to last longer than a date lunch? Who knows, but my brain just turned that into a competition. I’m not leaving this table until he leaves. I’ll show him, for some reason, that I’m having more fun than he is. Fuck, what’s the name of sexy doctor?

“Turns out it was a racoon the whole time!” He laughs and I accompany him, even though I completely lost the start of the story. “Can you believe it?”

"Unbelievable!" I’m still laughing with him. “A racoon!”

Our order arrives and thank God for inventing the culinary arts. The food is delicious and, at least while I’m eating, everything else seems unimportant. I decided to try once again. He seems like a nice guy and he could be funny if I paid attention to what he was saying. So I excuse myself to the bathroom and text Sienna.

Isabella: girl whats sexy doctor called?? help

Sienna: oh my god his name is peter warren lol

As I walk back to the table I make the mistake of making eye contact with Rúben. He smiles at me, that handsome jerk, and I smile back, instinctively. When I sit down, I’m blushing again. Peter Warren, huh?

“Sienna told me it was your favorite restaurant.” Peter says.

“Yes, it is!”

“I’m loving it, honestly, the food is heavenly. How did you find out about it?”

He asks and I have to physically hold myself back from facepalming. “Oh. It was through work. I come here a lot with my colleagues.” I answer. Yes, me, my colleagues and literally everyone in Manchester that works with football comes to this restaurant. What an idiot, why did I agree to come here on a date? You know what, at least, is Rúben. It could have been my boss seeing me in this dress. I relax with the realization.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it, Peter!” I speak, casually making him aware that I know his name.

“We could go to my favorite restaurant next? I mean, as far as blind dating goes, I feel like this is worth a second date?”

“The racoon story definitely earned you a second date.”

Peter laughs loudly when I say that. I really wish I understood the context, though. We’re having dessert and as I look over, Rúben is still talking with God knows who, his agent, maybe? They don’t seem like the’yre leaving the table anytime soon. So I convince Peter that I always order a second dessert, that is a tradition. That buys me more time. Rúben gets up to leave when I’m in the middle of my second tiramisu slice.

As he leaves, I look at him again. Just to make sure, I guess. But he notices, and waves goodbye. Handsome and polite jerk. I can’t help waving back at him, and of course Peter notices.

“You know him?” He asks.

“Just a football player.”

I take another bite.

Mel: so how was the date?

Isabella: terrible but we already agreed on the second one

Mel: did you kiss :(

Isabella: no but he shook my hand? is that something?

Mel: :(

#between the lines #rúben dias #ruben dias #ruben dias fic #ruben dias fanfic #football fic #football fanfic

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chibrary · 10 months

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today in chontent: july 30th

source: motorsport.com & twitter series: 2014, karting

In 2014, Jules wrote a series of columns for Motorsport.com following his quest within F1:

"Starting today, Jules Bianchi will guide the readers of JA on F1 on a unique journey of discovery of Formula 1, as seen through the eyes of one of the best young driving talents on the world motorsport scene. Jules has been a driver with the Marussia F1 Team for a year and a half, fulfilling one of his boyhood dreams, to drive at the pinnacle of the sport. He has another dream to fulfill, one with a red tone to it; to drive for the famous Scuderia Ferrari. Since 2009 Jules has been part of the Ferrari Driver Academy and a few weeks ago he was called in to an official test at Silverstone for the Maranello team."

His first article was posted in July 2014, titled "Voyage to the centre of Formula 1":

Jules Bianchi writes: “Realizing your dreams is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to a person and I am happy to have fulfilled the biggest dream, which is to drive in F1. I have been dreaming of it since I was a kid but only when I started racing single seaters did I realize that my hopes could become a reality. If you had told me this would happen, when I was 13 years old, I would not have believed you.

But I’ve done it and I’m half way through my second season in the top category and I want to try to take all of you behind the scenes and show you my life and my journey, to show you what it means to be part of this special world, which seems so remote and unattainable.

Let's start by saying that to race in Formula 1 is something that gives me a lot of excitement: this is the first word that comes to mind. The second is professionalism: if you want to excel you have to be professional in every little detail and that is true for us drivers as much as for all those who work in the various roles. It 's something that I realized immediately; right from the first time I was able to see up close how Ferrari operates. Even at Marussia, although the scale of the operation is certainly different from the Scuderia, the level of professionalism is really high.

Ours is a very tough sport, where if you do not always give 100%, whatever the circumstances, you risk falling behind straight away. This means that you always need the utmost concentration, both when working on the track and when you are free from specific commitments, because you can never back off. This is why ' if I have to choose a third word to associate with Formula 1 I would say tiredness: not only physical - to drive these cars is not exactly a breeze and to do this job you have to work a lot on athletic training, even during the race weekend - but, more important, mental tiredness.

I never get bored by the routine; it 's true that the Grand Prix weekend is a bit like a theatre show, which you repeat in exactly he same format every time, in nineteen different venues. But I don’t mind this repetition at all.

The two-week summer break comes at just the right time. We’ve been on the go, travelling the world, pretty much since the end of January, when I started driving in the winter tests. But now we can kick back a little and try to recharge the batteries for the second half of the season.

In the last few races I could really see our guys in the pit garages beginning to feel fatigued and I too cannot wait to get a rest. I'm not planning anything special, not even to celebrate my 25th birthday on August 3; a few days at home in Geneva with the family and then a little sunshine with friends at the beach somewhere, but not to some far distant place with more time zone changes - I’ve had plenty of that already and more lies in wait for me from late August to late November.

When I have some free time I like to play sports with my friends. I always try to organize a small competition, either karts or playing squash or football: this is what I will be up to before restarting the engines at Spa, where we’ll race in the Belgian Grand Prix.

Of course I have some time now to think about what has happened in this first part of the season because it is not that you can completely clear Formula 1 out of your head, even on vacation.

I'm happy with how things have gone so far: we have made a big step forward compared to last year and you can begin to see the results. The points finish in Monte Carlo, with ninth place was definitely the best moment and it was important to be able to get into Q2 twice (the second part of qualifying for the top 16 cars) in Silverstone and a few days ago at the Hungaroring: it means that we are approaching the core group even though the distance is still quite wide.

The worst day? That’s an easy one - Sunday in Montreal where I was unable to complete even the first lap, boy what a shame ..

Another beautiful moment was the Silverstone test with Ferrari. Putting on those scarlet overalls with the Prancing Horse on the chest is always an unbelievable feeling, as is climbing into the cockpit. I’ve done it before but the emotion is very powerful, very beautiful.

For me Ferrari is like a second family and to drive full time with that Prancing Horse remains my goal, my ultimate dream.

Will I ever get to realize that dream? I don’t know. But given that I have fulfilled my first goal of driving in F1, why not aspire to fulfilling the even bigger dream?

Until next time..

Jules

#vgp:today in chontent #series:karting #driver:jules #year:2014

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faintingheroine · 10 months

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@longagoitwastuesday I don’t have a definite interpretation but I think that Cathy’s ghost probably isn’t an entity that has motivations. She is more of a presence. Heathcliff yearns to see Cathy and he sees her everywhere but he also can’t:

“I could almost see her, and yet I could not! I ought to have sweat blood then, from the anguish of my yearning—from the fervour of my supplications to have but one glimpse! I had not one. She showed herself, as she often was in life, a devil to me! And, since then, sometimes more and sometimes less, I’ve been the sport of that intolerable torture! Infernal! keeping my nerves at such a stretch that, if they had not resembled catgut, they would long ago have relaxed to the feebleness of Linton’s. When I sat in the house with Hareton, it seemed that on going out I should meet her; when I walked on the moors I should meet her coming in. When I went from home I hastened to return; she must be somewhere at the Heights, I was certain! And when I slept in her chamber—I was beaten out of that. I couldn’t lie there; for the moment I closed my eyes, she was either outside the window, or sliding back the panels, or entering the room, or even resting her darling head on the same pillow as she did when a child; and I must open my lids to see. And so I opened and closed them a hundred times a night—to be always disappointed! It racked me! I’ve often groaned aloud, till that old rascal Joseph no doubt believed that my conscience was playing the fiend inside of me. Now, since I’ve seen her, I’m pacified—a little. It was a strange way of killing: not by inches, but by fractions of hairbreadths, to beguile me with the spectre of a hope through eighteen years!’”

(Chapter 29)

After he sees her corpse after Edgar’s death and especially after Hareton and Catherine’s romance, Cathy’s presence becomes stronger and stronger but he can never actually reach her. We know that he is seeing her ghost at the end of his life:

“With a sweep of his hand he cleared a vacant space in front among the breakfast things, and leant forward to gaze more at his ease.

Now, I perceived he was not looking at the wall; for when I regarded him alone, it seemed exactly that he gazed at something within two yards’ distance. And whatever it was, it communicated, apparently, both pleasure and pain in exquisite extremes: at least the anguished, yet raptured, expression of his countenance suggested that idea. The fancied object was not fixed, either: his eyes pursued it with unwearied diligence, and, even in speaking to me, were never weaned away. I vainly reminded him of his protracted abstinence from food: if he stirred to touch anything in compliance with my entreaties, if he stretched his hand out to get a piece of bread, his fingers clenched before they reached it, and remained on the table, forgetful of their aim”.

“I distinguished Mr. Heathcliff’s step, restlessly measuring the floor, and he frequently broke the silence by a deep inspiration, resembling a groan. He muttered detached words also; the only one I could catch was the name of Catherine, coupled with some wild term of endearment or suffering; and spoken as one would speak to a person present; low and earnest, and wrung from the depth of his soul.”

(Chapter 34)

So it is either:

1) He understood that he wouldn’t be able to reach her in life so he kind of willed himself to death in his last moments

2) He actually managed to reach her in his last moments and died of happiness/excitement

3) His pursuit of her required so much focus that he neglected nourishment and sleep and died naturally

Maybe a combination of all three?

So I don’t really think Cathy’s ghost is Lady Stoneheart, a zombie actively looking to kill Heathcliff for whatever reason. That being said Heathcliff also says that “She showed herself, as she often was in life, a devil to me”, so the interpretation that she is a malevolent spirit is also certainly valid. Some people think the ghost was saving her daughter and nephew, distracting Heathcliff from disinheriting them. But I think she is probably a neutral motivationless supernatural presence driving him mad and eventually killing him.

#wuthering heights #catherine earnshaw #heathcliff #ghosts

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maddys-nerd-blog · 5 months

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Hi! It’s been a while!

I’m sorry I haven’t shared anything in a while. Things have been really stressful and I’ve been pretty down for the past few weeks, but I finally got this done in the meantime. Writing has been the best distraction from all the strain I’ve got in my life at the moment.

This is something I wanted to write for a while, so I hope you like this!! It’s a Christmas one shot for my Familia AU! I figured out how to use the link thingy too so I’ll link the song Katie sings in this one at the end too!!

Happy holidays and Happy New Year!! ☺️

Familia: Forever

Feliz Navidad, mi Familia!

Holidays were supposed to be fun. At least, that was what Katie used to think. This was long before the inter-dimensional travel or the crazy realm hopping bullshit she’d been roped into. In her world, this time of year was one to take as a relative breather. A chance to look forward to cheesy movies, sugary candy that was sure to grant you cavities, the change in weather was just cold enough to wear comfy sweaters, or buy everything you could get your hands on until your wallet crumbled to dust. Minus the stress the tumultuous spending habits one picked up once December arrived, the Christmas season was certainly a festive occasion.

Katie remembered when her niece was little, when she was young enough to still believe in Santa, she and Grace would stay up for hours the night of Christmas Eve to deck the apartment in wondrous decor, dusting baby powder across the floor and using Katie’s combat boots to create impressions on the rug for the immersion of Saint Nick having visited, along with a half eaten plate of white chocolate chip cookies— Grace’s favorite. It was worth the effort to watch the girl race into the living room with stars in her eyes and a bright smile as she stared at a decently sized pile of wrapped presents awaiting her.

It was something she wouldn’t trade for the world.

But those were just memories. Fleeting, gone in an instant due to high amounts of stress. It hurt to recall those happier moments amidst the chaotic whirlwind she found herself in now— separated from her family, possibly forever at this point, sporting a robotic arm, becoming a wanted fugitive in three different dimensions, and a surrogate mother to five unruly boys that needed guidance in a universe where every single person wanted to either capture or kill them.

Needless to say, Katie had enough to put up with. And with the holidays fast approaching, all she could think of was one thing—

What am I going to do?

********************

December 24.

That was the date on the calendar. Katie couldn’t help but glare at the number from afar, black coffee piping hot in her hands through the thick ceramic mug she cradled close. The longer she stared at it, the more the reality sank in. It seemed to taunt her. Nothing could change the fact that there was only a few days left until Christmas.

Taking a slow sip of her caffeinated beverage the detective leaned back against the countertop. Breathing deep, she sighed heavily through her nostrils as they flared, taking in the heat of the coffee, savoring its bitter taste. Don’t think about it, Katie tried to scold herself. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, just pretend it’s another day. It was better to make believe things were business as usual than accepting the depressing reality of her current situation.

Three years.

Three. Years.

This would mark three years she hadn’t seen her family. Three Christmases spent running, hiding, fighting to survive. Three entire years of not being surrounded by the people she loved.

That was a decent amount of time spent not knowing if her sister or niece were still waiting for her to come home. This wasn’t New York— not hers, never hers— but the faint memories of the two lingered through streets that felt vaguely familiar. Ghosts of their presence followed where ever she traveled, and here was no different. Wandering through Central Park alone at night she could almost hear the sound of Lilium’s laughter ringing in the trees, or Grace’s voice echoing in the dark, calling for her to come home.

It ached. It hurt.

It was empty.

Thin, spindly arms found themselves wrapping around her middle from behind. What otherwise would have startled the woman made her breathe easier as she was gently pulled backward to better fit into his embrace. Quietly, the voice asked, “You doin’ okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” she nodded. Without dropping her mug she brought a hand up to reach behind her, cupping the face of the man who’d stayed by her side through all this mess. How he’d been willing to put up with her for this long was something she would never understand, but she was grateful all the same. “I’m fine. Just… not feeling too great.”

Danny looked over her shoulder, muted gold eyes boring into the depths of her soul with a ragged understanding that years of being a hardened criminal had provided. Ears pricking, he asked, “Want me t’ get you anything?”

“Unless you have a magic phone that can help me call my sister to let her know I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere, then not really,” she snorted dryly. “Just homesickness. I’ll be fine.”

Danny frowned. “How long?”

“Hmm?”

“How long has it been? Y’know. Since ya saw them.”

“… long enough to know I miss them.”

The yōkai tightened his arms around her waist. “Sorry, hon. Wish there was a way we could get ya home.”

She shrugged lamely. “Does it matter anymore?” She turned enough in his hold to face him— aging wrinkles under his eyes gave way to a softer expression of compassion. “I’ve got other things to focus on. I have five boys to take care of. I can’t let myself get distracted.”

“That ain’t exactly a healthy way t’ deal with things,” Danny lifted a hand to touch her cheek. His claws scraped across her skin delicately, making her shudder. “Let yourself be upset. It’s okay.”

She paused, soaking in his touch, leaning her face into his palm with a sigh. Doubt began to settle upon weary shoulders, her lips pursed into a frown. “Is it though?”

Danny actually looked baffled by this notion, staring at her with bewildered eyes. “What do you mean ‘is it’? You’re allowed t’ have emotions ya know.”

“But I gotta be the reliable one. I’m the one making the money to support all of us. You guys need me to be dependable. If I’m not one hundred percent, then I’ll let you guys down.”

“Ya gotta nip that in th’ bud, doll. That’s a toxic mindset.” The yōkai decided to use his hand to push her bangs out of her brow to better gaze into her eyes. His tail wrapped around her waist in place of his arms, drawing her closer to him. “I’m more than capable t’ take th’ load offa your shoulders. I can get work— honest work— in th’ Hidden City. Ya don’t gotta carry it on your back alone.” Danny grinned with a smile full of warmth. “That’s what I’m here for now.”

Katie, still struggling to withhold her emotions, leaned her head forward until her forehead came to rest on his collar. She could smell the lingering scent of his favorite cologne, ocean breeze and cigar smoke clinging to his frame. She could breathe it in until her lungs were sore. “I’d be selfish for putting that on you when you’ve already got shit to deal with.”

“Then be selfish.” Danny held her closer, the mug in her hands crushed between them. “I can handle it. The last thing I need is for you t’ get sick offa this stress.”

CRASH! Somewhere in the living room the sound of glass shattered, along with a cry of ‘it wasn’t me!’ Coming right after as Raph could be heard in the background scolding someone.

Katie cringed, mourning the loss of the tender moment. “When I’m not breaking fights up, THEN I’ll let myself cry.” She chugged her coffee with one quick swig, unfazed as it burned the root of her mouth and seared her tongue before untangling from the yōkai’s embrace to hurry into the room. Upon stepping into the doorway, Katie dropped her jaw at the unbelievable scene taking place.

One: the carpet was stained with ink. Sharpie markers had been broken in half, spilling the contents upon a giant scrap of cardboard and floor amongst a cluster of things strewn around the ground. Casey and Donnie sat in the middle of it, smeared in bright red and blue across their hands, looking like deer caught in headlights.

Two: Leo standing over the broken remains of a lamp, trying in vain to hide the pieces under the ruined rug, his feet covered from the ankle down in dark blue ink, tracking a trail from the spot where Casey and Donnie currently stayed. Behind him a festive Christmas paper popper lay torn in twain, confetti all over the place.

Three: Raph was giving Leo an earful, not too keen on having half his plastron coated with neon pink sharpie ink. Poor Mondo stood with his face coated in purple and green, desperately trying to scrub it out of his eyes as he yelped and cried out on pain.

“Leo, are you crazy!?”

“I said I was sorry!”

“Kat’s gonna kill you! Look at the floor!”

“I told you this was a stupid idea! Why do you never listen to me?!”

“Instead of yelling at me, how about helping me scrub this out?!”

“DUDES MY EYES ARE MELTING! I’M GOING BLIND!”

“Wait he can’t really go blind, right?”

“ARE YOU REALLY SAYING THAT?!”

… it wasn’t even ten in the morning, and the boys had already managed to find themselves in chaos.

Resisting the urge to grab her smokes, Katie swallowed her frustration back down in order to reign in the madness unfolding. “What in the name of God are you boys doing!?”

Almost immediately four heads snapped towards her direction, minus Mondo who still tried to get the inky gunk out of his eyes. And just as swiftly, Donnie and Casey pointed to Leo with an accusing finger. “He did it!”

The red eared slider, highly offended, threw his hands up with a dramatic motion. “Jerks! I can’t believe you ratted me out!”

Mondo’s hands pried themselves away from his face, squinting, only to yelp painfully as the ink spread further into the tear ducts. He flailed his arms and stumbled, knocking himself into the wall with a thud. “Mom, help!”

She hurried to his aid, placing a steadying hand upon the gecko’s shoulder to keep him still lest he knock himself out. Turning her gaze unto Leo, Katie turned her voice stern. “Okay, spill! What’s going on?!”

“Nothing!” Leo tried to act casual, folding his arms behind his shell as he leaned against the couch with a shaky grin, gaze shifting quickly back and forth between the broken lamp and the markers. “Just, uh… playing Monopoly!”

Deadpanning, Katie raised a brow with an unamused frown. “Really. Monopoly. I didn’t know buying Broadway meant snapping open three sharpies and handing over two hundred to move forward.” Unfazed, she pressed on. “Why is the room a mess?”

“It’s nothing, really!” Leo tried to assure her, waving his hand at the floor. “Just an accident while we were making some posters for—“ his eyes widened, as though he realized he said something he wasn’t supposed to, and he averted his gaze from Raph— who looked ready to pummel him where he stood.

“For what?” Katie asked.

“… the Hidden City?” Leo slowly responded. Raph hissed under his breath, “Hypocrite.”

That made her blink. Looking to Raph she questioned, “Why does he want to hang up posters in the Hidden City?”

Raph wouldn’t budge. When Casey opened his mouth to reply, Donnie jammed his elbow into the other boy’s ribs, shutting him up as he interrupted. “To buy groceries!”

Katie continued, not buying it. “Really. Grocery shopping?”

Leo looked sheepish. “Uuuuuh… yes?”

Mondo flailed his arms around again, whimpering as he grew panicked. “I still can’t see!”

Katie, still fighting to stay sane, chose not to start this argument. “Okay,” she easily picked the gecko, him being lightweight enough to carry in her arms. “Leo, since this was your idea, you’re cleaning this mess. I gotta go get this out of Jason’s face before he actually goes blind.”

“What?!” Leo gaped. “But what about going shop—“ he didn’t get to finish his sentence before Raph clamped his mouth shut, gesturing for him to be quiet. That made her suspicious.

“… is there something I should know about?” She inquired, narrowing her eyes to give the ‘Stern Mom’ look.

“Nope!” “Not really.” “Absolutely not!” Came the instant replies of three not-so-subtle boys who were fighting to look innocent. Raph was doing a better job than Casey and Donnie, but Leo’s poker face needed work. It was obvious they were trying to hide something…

“Kat,” Danny suddenly entered the room like an apparition— perfect timing if she had anything to say about this— “Why don’t ya help Jason and I’ll help the boys clean this mess up?”

This was getting stranger by the minute. Why was everyone acting so shifty? It wasn’t like them to keep secrets like this, but Raph? Danny? Why were they behaving like this? Katie hummed suspiciously, pouting, hefting the still-whimpering Mondo in her arms to help him. “… alright. Make sure you get that stain out. If you can’t, just chuck it.”

“Can do,” Danny gave her a two-fingered salute as she made her exit. The way he spoke suggested things were casual.

But it still didn’t make her any less suspicious. What’s going on with them?

******************

The moment Katie was out of range— and earshot, once he’d picked up the sound of the restroom door being closed— Danny’s smile fell, quickly replaced by a panicked hiss as he whipped around to face the teens. “Who told?!”

All present pointed to Leo. The red eared slider flailed his arms, fed up. “I didn’t mean to! It just slipped out!”

“Just slipped out?!” Raph repeated, eyes popping open wide with shock. “You almost gave us up! I told you to keep our plan on the down low and what do you do?!”

“She still doesn’t know!” Leo defended. “I didn’t say anything important! It’s not like I said ‘Guess what? We’re gonna give you a Christmas celebration this year!’”

“What’s the point of a surprise if you spoil it?” Casey brushed some of the ink off his palms, leaving bright yellow stains across his previously black jeans. “That’s, like, not even worth it.”

“Jesus,” Danny pinched the ridge of his snout with a heavy sigh, shaking his head. His tail curled around his ankles, refraining from striking the floor. “Okay. Okay, fine, so she’s still in the dark. As long as she doesn’t know, we’re fine.”

“Why shouldn’t she know?“ Donnie chimed in. “I mean, it’s almost Christmas, so why not just let her in on the plan?”

“Cuz this is FOR her,” Danny reiterated. “This is her third Christmas separated from her family. And I’m sure th’ rest of you have been homesick during th’ holidays long enough. After all th’ bullshit we’ve put up with, I think a demonstration of our appreciation is in order t’ get her in a better headspace.”

Casey shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, leaning against the couch. “So what’re are we doing again? Have we even picked an idea?”

“None of us are in agreement,” Danny sighed. “We ain’t doing a circus—“

“No fun!” Leo protested, but he went ignored.

“We don’t got th’ cash for a fancy dinner or a night at Yankee stadium, and we can’t drive into th’ Bronx if we’re being tracked by Draxum.” The rat yōkai’s tail swished around his feet in silent frustration. “So unless we got another plan in th’ back burner, we’re gonna have to do something here.”

Donnie picked up the ruined artwork on the sign, frowning at the garbled wording beneath the dark ink. “It was starting to look cool, too. It took me hours to get that design to look right! Why did you break the markers?”

“I saw a video online that showed me how to make a gradient using the ink of you broke them the right way!”

“And you just… did it?”

“Clearly I did it wrong! Can we stop rubbing it in?!”

**********************

“Alright, mijo, let’s look at the damage.” Katie shined a small pen light in Mondo’s eyes, moving it side to side while keeping track of his pupils. He sat on the lip of the tub, tail curled around to sit in his lap, his face scrunched into an expression of pain as she gingerly pried an eyelid open with precise fingers. “Can you see the light moving?”

The gecko squinted, wincing, but he nodded. The gold of his orbs were dark red, the veins in his eyeballs visible from the burning, but his pupils followed the movement. “Yeah. It stings though…”

Humming, Katie released his eyelid gently, clicking the light off. “Good news! You’re not blind, clearly, but there’s irritation and it’s probably gonna look real blurry for a couple hours, but there should be something in here I can use to fix that,” she reached inside the restroom cabinet at her side, combing through the selection of medicines she’d obtained. Mystical ointments and brightly colored liquids bobbed around within uniquely shaped bottles and glass jars labeled with words Katie couldn’t translate yet. She swore some of this stuff was just glittery sugar water disguised to look like healing tonics.

Finally, she’d located a small tin that looked like the type of medical salves she’d glossed over in the drug store. Snatching it up Katie popped open the lid to scoop some of the white cream into her fingers. “Try holding still for a minute, hon. If you need to talk about something to distract yourself, just do it.”

Mondo nodded, holding tight to the end of his tail. “Gotcha,” he replied with worry.

Katie knelt to his level, beginning to apply the cream around his eyes as the gecko flinched, fingers starting to dig into his tail scales. Sensing his discomfort she decided to speak, “Hey, what are you asking for this Christmas?”

Mondo paused, flinching a little as the irritation in his eyes flared up. “I think… I asked for a new board.”

“Oh yeah?” Katie smiled a little. “Any type of board, or just a regular one from the shops?”

“It’s a limited edition kind,” Mondo’s smile was infectious as he started to ramble about the skateboard. “I think Tony Hawk had one just like it! It’s like all decked out with these retro decals that aren’t on the market anymore, they painted it this gnarly neon blue—“ mindlessly chattering about his dream skateboard helped to keep his mind off the burns from his eyes, thankfully. It continued on like this for the next five minutes, the boy happily recalling all the things he’d written down on his list— new sneakers, a boombox for his cassette tapes, spray paint— all the things a kid his age was interested in.

It was only after she completed getting his eyes treated with the ointment that the gecko squinted through the cream on his face, beaming. “What about you, Mom?”

Katie paused momentarily, screwing the lid to the ointment closed. “I didn’t have anything in mind,” she lamely shrugged.

Mondo, being as intuitive as ever, knew she was hiding the truth. “Come on! There’s gotta be something you want!”

Katie still remained hesitant. “What I want… it’s a thing I can’t have.” She put the jar away, repressing the bubbling turmoil that brewed inside her chest.

This made Mondo curious. “What do you mean?”

Katie paused. Closing the cupboard, she folded her hands before her to avoid fidgeting. “… it’s… my family.”

Mondo’s expression changed from confused to sympathetic. Even squinting through the mess of cream around his eyes he could see the immense grief that rested on her shoulders. He could tell she missed them, that their absence had driven something painful and deep into her core. He knew what it was like, wishing the people you cared for were there when you were thousands of miles away from everything you knew. “I don’t think I ever asked what they were like.” He sat up a little straighter, hands folded on his lap this time. “Can you tell me?”

Katie’s lips quirked into a fond smile; one full of warmth and gratitude. Easing herself to sit beside the gecko, she pulled her phone from her pocket and scrolled through her photos, selecting one from a folder she’d labeled ‘Familia.’ It was of Lilium’s twelfth birthday; the last time she saw her sister and niece. They’d decked the house in bright pinks and oranges, glittery streamers dangling on the ceiling, having gone all out for her. It had been themed after fairytales— she’d dressed herself up as a princess, complete with a Renaissance hairstyle. Grace had dawned a lovely gown made from fine turquoise fabrics. Mother and daughter were grinning for the photo, sitting in the living room as sunlight cascaded through the sheer curtains and illuminated their smiles as if to immortalize them. It was one of the only photos of them she had left.

Lilium would be fifteen now. Grace would have recently turned thirty-five.

“This is them.” She showed Mondo the photo. “Grace and Lily. She’d be around your age,” she pointed to the cheerful girl. “I think you two would get along really well. Grace would spoil you rotten,” chuckling softly Katie stared at the face of the woman who had been there for her through thick and thin, through the worst of her breakups, the terrible binges of her drinking habits where she’d seen the darker part of her demons, something only Danny caught a rare glimpse of. “We’d always go to the park on Sunday and have ice cream. Every week we would pick a random movie on the TV commercials to see and laugh about it.”

Katie’s smile faltered as her reminiscing turned into melancholy. “Lilium has an incredible singing voice for her age. Real Lea Salonga-like. She dreams of starring in a big movie musical someday. All she talks about is Broadway and the latest show she wants to audition for. And Gracie always knew what to do when you were depressed. She’d whip up your favorite meal and let you vent for hours if you needed it. Sure she was a little timid, but… she always seemed to know how to make a shitty day better.”

Mondo frowned with remorse. “You miss them?”

“More than anything,” Katie murmured in response.

Mondo pulled his tail back into his lap, guilt creeping into his chest. “… for what it’s worth, I think they’d be proud of you. I mean, you kicked serious bad guy butt, you traveled across dimensions, and helped us out! You took care of me even when my folks didn’t!” He laughed a little if only to shake off the underlying truth of his biological parents rejecting him.

Katie cracked the smallest of smiles. Reaching up she scratched the top of his head like she always would to calm him down, quietly pulling him close to sit at her side. “Thanks, mijo. You’re a good kid, you know that?”

“Yeah!” Mondo boasted playfully. “I’m pretty great!”

That caused Katie to laugh, the somber emotions she’d been feeling subsiding a little to allow herself to breathe. It granted a moment of reprieve long enough to keep hers wits about her and not lose herself to depression. But ever the attentive son, Mondo noticed the grief that clung to his mother. His hands fidgeted with his tail once more to think of how he could fix the pain his caretaker harbored…

And an idea sprang up in his mind.

*******************

“… that’s my plan! Sounds good, right?”

“Honestly that’s ten times better then what I’ve got.”

“It better not be another freakin’ circus.”

“I keep telling you, it would be an amazing gift!”

“You think we can pull it off?”

“… I mean, at this rate, we’ve got nothing. I say let’s do it.”

“Awwwww man! Missed opportunity!”

“Can it, Blue. Jason, you sure this’ll work?”

“Yeah! She’s gonna go bonkers for this, I know it!”

**********************

Katie couldn’t sleep.

It was an old habit, she knew. From years of Lily bursting into the guest bedroom, bright eyed and excited in the early hours of Christmas morning, pulling her arm and squealing that Santa had visited and left behind presents. And as the old saying went, old habits die hard. She stared at the ceiling with exhausted eyes counting the cracks that spiderwebbed along the chipping plaster, phone sitting on the dresser beside her bed, almost wishing it would ring to alert her to a call from her sister. She prayed she could at least receive a text from her, but for the past three years there was nothing.

Emerald eyes fell upon the clock near her phone. Four-fifty in the morning.

She’d been up for hours…

The hideout was silent, questionably so. All day long the boys were on their best behavior after the ink incident— no pranks, no stress, no fights, not even one broken bone or shattered vase. They were oddly helpful and eager to finish the chores when asked, which was NOT normal in the slightest, and once night fell they’d all but ushered her off to bed. “I’ll deal with th’ kids. Get some beauty sleep,” Danny had coaxed with a playful wink. “Lord knows you could use it.”

It was a tempting offer she couldn’t refuse.

But still, sleep evaded her.

So much for getting rest.

Her conversation with Mondo had gotten her thinking, once more, of her family and friends back home. How were they now? She wondered. Did Lilium like high school? Was she making friends? Had Grace found love at last? Did the Chief finally decide to retire? So many unanswered questions she would never get to know because they were gone, far off in another world that was lost to her now. So many birthdays, so many anniversaries, so many celebrations, too many things she’d missed because she’d been reckless. All of it, gone.

Almost daring herself to do so, Katie grabbed her phone from the dresser. The brightness of the screen illuminated her face, slicing through the darkness. Unlocking it, she opened her texts to scroll down to the last messages she’d received the day she’d gone on this rocky road.

Fourteen missed calls from her sister. Three from the Chief. Nine from her partners. Twelve from Lily…

Sis ✨;

Thursday October 12, 2017 at 2:35pm

Hope you have a great day at work! Lily’s asking for Monica’s tonight for dinner, want to join?

Sis✨;

Thursday October 12, 2017 at 7:12pm

I saved you some food from tonight! I got your favorite; fettuccini and shrimp! Just let me know when you get out of work so I can heat it up!

Sis✨;

Friday October 13, 2017 at 10:33am

Are you alright?

Sis✨;

Friday October 13, 2017 at 3:02pm

Kathrine please call me. This isn’t like you.

Sis✨;

Saturday October 14, 2017 at 12:46pm

Henderson said you haven’t shown up to your shift in days.

Are you okay? Lily’s been worried about you, as am I. Please call me.

Sis✨;

Saturday October 14, 2017 at 3:24pm

Kathrine please. If you don’t call me I’m going to have to use my spells. I just want to know if you’re safe.

I know you’re busy, but I’m worried about you. I pray you’re alright.

Munchkin🎼;

Saturday October 14, 2017 at 12:30pm

I miss you Auntie…

Katie finally put the phone down, no longer able to stomach the messages. An awful burn stung her eyes. Those were the final texts she would ever get from her family.

There were so many thoughts running through her head. Some of them were pointless, mundane. But the majority were filled with anguish. She knew better than to verbalize that in front of the kids— keep it closed off, shutter it tight, push it aside and pretend it’s not there. The well-being of those boys were more important than her mental health. But the more she ignored it, the harder the headaches struck. They turned into cloying migraines that pounded and rattled her brain with a powerful vengeance, reminding her of the awful truth of her situation; I’m never going home and I’m never going to see Grace or Lily again.

It was a bitter pill to choke on, but she knew it was one she had to swallow.

Going back home was a pipe dream, forever out of the realm of possibility. Katie lost that hope ages ago, when she’d gone to space with Fugitoid.

Katie’s vision blurred. Breathing shakily, she rolled onto her side, clutching her comforter tight against her aching chest. She couldn’t complain. She couldn’t. She chose this life. She chose to follow Karai all those years ago into that vortex. She chose to pick a fight with crazy people. The Chief was right about her; she never learned when to quit.

Katie gripped her blanket tighter, shutting her eyes. Breathe, moron. Christmas has to go well for the kids. Do NOT worry them.

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

Breathe in…

Breathe—

CRASH!

… out?

Katie shot up, startled. Did she hear that right? Did something break?

Hushed, rapid whispers she couldn’t pick up shot back and forth. She recognized Danny’s voice amongst the mishmash of voices beyond her door. There goes any chance of sleep…

Kicking the thick comforter off, Katie climbed out of bed, snagging one of the fuzzy robes from the edge of her bed frame and pulling it on to stave off the cold. Upon reaching the door she twisted the knob ever so carefully to avoid making a sound, she opened it just a sliver to catch the panicked conversation. While hushed, she heard pieces of it.

“What’d you do?!”

“Don’t look at me!”

“Shut up shut up! She’ll wake up!”

“You broke th’ freakin’ lamp, dumbass! She’s gonna hear!”

Opening the door enough for her to slip out, Katie clutched her robe around her chest as she headed for the living room, where most of the commotion resided. She silently carried herself down the dark corridor to avoid being detected. The voices of her boys and Danny were no longer muffled by the distance as she reached the entryway of the threshold—what piqued her curiosity immediately was, dancing along the ceiling spilling out onto the ground were colorful lights; red, green, blue, pink, yellow. They spun in a slow, lazy circle against the darkness.

“Nononono don’t do that, you’ll cut yourself—!”

“Dude, be careful with that!”

“Can we all calm down for a damn minute and get this done?!”

Katie peeked around the lip of the entrance, taking the chance to look inside…

… it wasn’t what she expected.

It looked as though Christmas vomited all over the place. The entire room was decked out with festive decorations; handmade, cutout snowflakes were dangling on strings along the ceiling, all of which were designed to look like marigolds. Plastic figurines of Saint Nick and his reindeer pulling his sleigh guarded a tray full of crispy sugar cookies messily traced with blue and white frosting to look like snowmen. Tinsel was hung up in long loops on the walls, silver and gold woven into thin braids. Stockings were pinned on the mantel, all of them in varying sizes and styles, the names of their matches embroidered in thick white thread from oldest to youngest— Danny, Kat, Raph, Casey, Leo, Mondo, Donnie. The couch wasn’t spared either, red and white plaid Christmas pillows fluffed to perfection.

But it was the eight foot tall pine tree currently standing in the corner of the room, where everyone was gathered, that caught her eye. It was massive— easily towering over everyone. Pine needles were scattered all over the rug. It was rotating on a stand that helped to keep it from wobbling. Ornaments had been hung upon the branches, strings of colorful Christmas lights wrapped all around the tree. It amused her to spot handmade decorations also hung on the thick branches. Tinsel had been discarded in a bundled up ball, tangled, bunched into knots. One of the lamps had been knocked to the floor again, the porcelain broken in shards.

Danny was struggling to keep his sanity. He was wearing a hilariously ugly violet sweater with pompoms on the sleeves, a piece of cheese on the front with the words ‘Have a Cheesy New Year’ embroidered in massive white letters. On his head he wore a pair of reindeer antlers. Donnie was placing boxes of hastily wrapped presents under the tree, wearing a dark green sweater with some kind of anime character on the front. Helping him, Leo hefted giant shopping bags onto the couch with a grunt, trying to make sure he didn’t drop anything. His own baby blue Christmas sweater was geared more for fashion, white stripes wrapping around his arms and collar. She nearly burst into giggles when she realized he was wearing a bright red nose on his snout.

Casey wasn’t dressed up, in fact he looked the most casual in a black long sleeved shirt with black and green plaid lounge pants, but he was busying himself with cleaning the mess currently sitting on the floor. Raph attempted to grab the fallen ornaments that had been knocked off, growing agitated when the silly elf had he wore kept slipping down his brow to cover his eyes.

What really got her was Mondo, dressed up like Santa Clause, fake beard included. He was perched atop a small step ladder holding the tree topper— a dopey looking Christmas angel with beady eyes and floppy wings, watching everything unfold with a wince.

Finally stepping into the room to take all of it in, Katie giggled. “What is this?”

The heads of the culprits shot up to meet her gaze, caught red handed. Danny’s tail flicked around his ankles nervously, an unconfident smile on his snout as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Aaah…! Kat! Hey! Doll, what’re ya doin’ up?”

“Heard something break,” Katie, nonchalantly, reached up to touch one of the snowflakes with delicate fingers, taking in all the detail with a fond expression. Her eyes sparkled in awe. “Just wanted to make sure we weren’t being burgled.”

“In the sewer?” Leo raised a ridge, deadpanning, until Donnie smacked him in the leg.

Mondo took this change in stride. Beaming, he hopped off the ladder and tossed the angel to Raph, the white pompom hanging off his Santa hat jingling. “Mom! Merry Christmas! Surprise!” He waved his arms wildly to gesture towards the tree. “Do you like it?!”

“Surprise?” Katie blinked.

“Well, duh,” Casey nodded. “It’s a Christmas surprise!”

“What for?”

“For you!” Mondo grabbed her hand, tugging her inside to lead her to the loveseat. “Since you’re up, we can do it now!”

Laughing as she was seated, Katie found herself asking, “Do what?”

“Give you your gifts!” Mondo happily replied. He looked to the others, pointing to the boxes and bags. “Come on! It’s technically Christmas morning!”

Everyone exchanged skeptical glances. Whether it be from their shared exhaustion or doubt, nobody made the motion to move until Raph shrugged, smirked, and nodded. “He ain’t wrong,” he agreed. “We’ve been up for hours anyways.”

Katie’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, hours?”

Ignoring her bewilderment Danny shoved one of the boxes into her lap as a suitable distraction. “Never mind that Doll, here, open these.”

“Hold up! If she’s going to open anyones’ gift first,” Leo pushed a massive blue shopping bag with the Macys logo on the sides at her feet. “It’s mine!”

“What? That’s bogus!” Casey shot back at the prankster. “I wanna give mine first!”

“Guys, really, knock it off. What are we, five?” Raph rolled his eyes at the childish display. “If one of us is gonna go b’fore th’ rest of us,” he nudged Mondo forward with an encouraging nod. “It’s Jace.”

Donnie smiled in agreement, giving the gecko a thumbs up. Bolstered by his friends Mondo scurried over to retrieve a package obviously wrapped by him— bright red paper with lightening bolts, crinkled and messy, taped to hell and back, with a shoddily tied bright blue bow in the middle. He offered the box forward with a giant smile, tail thumping against the floor in glee.

Accepting the gift, Katie looked at her son with a tired grin. “Mijo. You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know,” Mondo nodded. “But I thought you’d like something that came from all of us.”

Katie couldn’t stop herself from looking taken by surprise. “What…?” She raised her gaze to Danny to search for an explanation, but the rat was sitting on the stepladder, a similarly fond expression written across a face usually wrought with stress and anger. Yellow eyes glistened, his grin gentle, kind, almost loving. “Listen t’ th’ kid,” he said. “I think yer really gonna like this.”

So, taking this in mind, Katie obliged. She gingerly pulled the paper apart, undid the bow, took the lid off the box to look at what had been given to her…

And her heart began to pang with emotion.

Perched in her lap was a scrapbook. Black leather, golden stud clasps punched into the corners… and in metallic gray sharpie marker in bold lettering was written, ‘Best Adopted Mom.’

Katie opened the book. She was greeted with photos of herself and her boys, from the happiest parts of their journey. Each one of these pictures showed them all smiling bright for the camera, either taken by surprise or charging the cameraman— probably Casey or Leo.

Coney Island. Yankee stadium. The diner. Raph learning how to drive the old pickup truck, Leo pointing and laughing hysterically at the other turtle. Casey in the ice rink teaching Mondo how to play hockey, Donnie holding onto the wall for dear life. Game nights, where by the end of it hell broke loose. The yōkai carnival. Halloween. The Day of the Dead gala— which, how the hell did they take the photo of her and Danny from that far at such a distance?— the beach. The arcade. There were sections of the book with color coordinated chapters to represent each of the boys— dark red for Raph. Sky blue for Leo. Electric purple for Donnie. Gold for Mondo. Black for Casey.

The photos ranged from mundane, to funny, to impressive shots of either duo in combat, to celebratory snippets cut out of newspapers or magazines. Fun stickers were pasted on the sides to give the paper more décor, doodies adorned every page, funny puns and quotes covered every inch of the book.

It wasn’t until she’d reached the final page that her heart backflipped.

The last page of the book contained two photos glued to a piece of pale pink paper: one was a group photo of herself and all the boys covered in bruises and battered, sitting at a table in Hueso’s restaurant, enjoying a pizza for the first time in months and looking completely at ease in the midst of a crowd of yōkai. They were beaming for the camera, a celebration of their newfound family in the aftermath of all they’d endured.

The second…

A photo of Grace and Lilium, the same one she’d shown Jason hours earlier. Underneath these pictures was a note.

‘To the best mom I’ve ever had! I’m sorry you can’t go home, but you’ve got us now! We can be your new family if you want! Thanks for always being here for us, for helping us, and for never giving up on any of us.

We love you, Mom!

Signed—

Leonardo

Raphael

Donatello

Casey

Jason.’

Katie remained still in her seat, the scrapbook cradled in her hands like it was a precious heirloom. She failed to realize she was shaking slightly. She didn’t notice how her vision started to blur again, only this time she truly couldn’t see anything past a misty haze of colors.

The silence that followed started to worry the others. Concerned, Mondo stepped forward, taking his Santa hat off and wringing it in his hands. “Mom…?”

The barriers shattered.

The walls came down.

Finally, for the first time in years, Katie burst into tears. It hurt. It stung like a bastard. Hot, furious waterfalls streamed along her skin in thick trails. Clapping a hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs as they overcame the detective, she allowed herself to release the bottled up emotions she’d kept under lock and key. Naturally everyone gathered to her side in moments, both baffled and confused while she wept over the book, messy tears dripping off her chin and jawline to plop onto the laminated pages.

A fuzzy, filling feeling flowed throughout her core, washing her hardened interior to melt away, giving in to an incredible emotion she hadn’t felt in years.

Love. To be loved by the people who had accepted all of her. To be loved by those who saw past the ugly pieces and kept her regardless. To be a parent to a group of amazing kids who, in turn, gave her purpose. To be loved by a man who only saw her— not the hybrid, not the magpie, nor the mixed breed… just Kathrine.

Is this what it felt like to be a mother?

Was this how Grace felt?

“Mom?!”

“Holy crap, are you okay?”

“What’s wrong?!”

“Guys, back up, give her air—“

“Did we do something bad—“

“I knew we shouldn’t have—“

“How?” Katie asked through sobs, quieting the boys. When no one responded she asked again with a shaking sigh, “How?”

“How what?” Leo frowned.

She scrubbed at her eyes with her sleeves, emerald orbs turning dark red in an attempt to wipe the tears away. “H-How did I… get so lucky?” Raising her head she met their gaze with a watery smile filled with joy and happiness, pink coloring her cheeks. “To find such great kids?“

Mondo blinked slowly, hat still twisted in his hands. “Do you… like the book?”

“Like it?” She asked, looking stunned, as if the question was outlandish. “Like it?”

Mondo gulped, the hat twisted thin between his hands. “Is it that bad? I didn’t think the pictures were that blurr—EEEP!”

Katie wrapped her arms around the gecko to pull him into a strong embrace, clutching the smaller of the mutants close. Against the tears that still made her eyes sore, the woman smiled, looking completely at ease in the presence of those around them. “Mijo,” she sniffled. “This is the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten.”

Mondo’s face lit up with glee, returning the hug readily, tail slapping rapidly against the floor in excitement. “Radical!”

There was a lack of movement from everyone else. Katie lifted her head, meeting the eyes of her boys with a watery chuckle. “What, you think there’s a favorite in this household?” She extended an arm towards Donnie, a silent invitation to join. “Get in here!”

Donnie instantly took the offer, jumping into her arms with a similarly giant smile, his glasses going askew on his snout. Casey followed suit, finding a space at Katie’s left side. Leo was just as eager to join the fold, practically leaping forward, starved for paternal affection. Raph, though slower to accept the overt display of emotion as the older ‘loner’ brother, inched his way over to his comrades, crouching beside the bunch to place a hand atop the lip of Leo’s shell, trying not to show the fond grin on his beak.

It was a sweet image; a surrogate mother hugging the sons who chose her, internally blessed to have them in her life.

Danny, awkwardly, stood out from the huddle. The rat yōkai used his clawed index finger to pull on his turtleneck collar, shifting on one foot to the other, tail curled at his ankles. Katie noticed, untangling one arm from the cluster of mutants to reach for him.

His eyes widened. Danny, wordlessly, pointed to himself to ask, ‘you sure?’

Katie just nodded. Her fingers wriggled to motion for him to come.

His tail twitched. He swallowed, suddenly anxious. Slowly, he crossed the short distance across the carpet, the Christmas lights still spinning and dancing in rings along the walls. Kneeling, Danny timidly lifted a hand to reach for her, every fiber in his body telling him he didn’t belong here, he didn’t deserve this, he wasn’t worthy, he wasn’t allowed to share in this moment—

But Katie took his hand. She threaded her fingers through his own, clasping it tight. Her brilliant emerald orbs shined like gemstones in the colorful hues of the lights behind them, a beautiful smile gracing her strained features. For the first time he detected no sign of stress, no wear and tear, no grief…

It was just Katie.

And there was no other magnificent sight Danny wanted to bask in.

******************

An hour later, everyone commenced with the festivities proper. After drying her tears Katie had rushed to the closet to bring the rest of the presents she’d hidden from the boys— “I KNEW I should have checked that one,” Casey lamented with a snap of his fingers. Soon the sound of wrapping paper ripping and boxes being torn apart echoed through the room, bouncing off the walls and the sewer pipes overhead. Cheers and gasps of awe were soon to follow as everyone began to show off their gifts.

Mondo’s wish for a new skateboard came true as he hugged it chest, eyes scouring over the details of the designs and admiring the classic 90’s paint job. New converse sneakers, a box packed with vintage comics, an old school GameCube console and games to go with it sat dutifully in his corner.

Casey had yet to go through the pristine selection of metal baseball bats or hockey sticks that were set up in a leather carrying case along with the repaired rollerblades, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off the grey varsity jacket baring the name of his favorite hockey player currently clutched in his hands.

Raph didn’t react the most outwardly, but the pleased grunt he gave meant more than words. He totted a new set of boxer’s gloves, a black windbreaker, fingerless leather gloves custom made to fit for three fingers, a thick textbook on the history of motorcycles, knitting needles and yarn, as well as a rubix cube to help cope with his temper.

Donnie’s pile had a consistent theme; retro Pokémon games for his Gameboy, anime t-shirts, a BTS hoodie, refurbished laptop, plenty of Kpop CDs, Japanese snacks of varying kinds from chocolates to gummies, and a Gundam model kit to put together.

Leo hadn’t stopped squealing as he went through his selections, dramatically fainting over the sight. On top of receiving new clothes that would make David Bowie envious, the slider admired a set of neon nail polish to try out. He slipped on a pair of aviator sunglasses with dark red lenses as he tore into one more bag that had yet to be opened, and the sound he made caused his neighbor— Casey— to wince at the volume.

“NO. YOU. DIDN’T.” He pulled free a bright pink onesie with a hoodie and a horn on the top, a matching plushie tumbling out of it. Stars shined in his eyes under the sunglasses. “YOU GOT ME A UNICORN ONESIE?!”

“I mean,” Katie laughed as the slider hugged it to his chest, bouncing on the heels of his feet as he squealed. “You asked for one forever!”

“You’re the BEST!” Leo held up the fuzzy loungewear with pride, clearly over the moon with his present and holding it aloft as if it were Simba. “I now possess the coolest Christmas gift of all time! All of you can now be jealous!”

“If you say so,” Raph chuckled. He picked up a small wrapped bundle, tossing it at the prankster. “This one’s from me.”

Leo caught it, surprised. “Did I hear that right? RAPH got ME a Christmas gift?”

“Well, if ya don’t want it, I’ll give ‘em t’ Casey—“

“HELL NO,” Leo ripped the bright green paper off the strange bundle… revealing a pair of caramel brown fluffy, dopey puppy slippers with goggly eyes and floppy ears. Leo’s mouth dropped wide open with shock, holding the footwear in his fingers for all to see, earning a few giggles from Donnie and Casey.

“Nice shoes,” the human teen chortled.

“SCREW YOU I LOVE THEM,” Leo loudly proclaimed, shoving them on to spite him.

As the kids laughed and showed each other their gifts, the adults finally sank into the comfort of the couch. Lounging in the sofa with a relieved sigh, Danny took his antlers off, looking to Katie as he spoke. “So,” he murmured with a light chuckle. “Is that everyone?”

Katie, snorting, gave him a playful swat on his shoulder. “There’s still you, dummy.” She grabbed a rectangular box that looked quite fancy, handing it to him with a knowing expression. “Feliz Navidad, mi amor.”

“Baby,” blushing a dark crimson, Danny took the present into his hands. “Ya didn’t need to—“

“Course I did. You’re family now,” she folded her arms atop the couch cushions to rest her head there, watching him with adoration. “I couldn’t just leave you out.”

Danny’s face went blank, caught off guard.

“Was that wrong of me?”

“Nah. Just… haven’t been part of something like this in years. Not since Leonard or Mickey.” He went quiet for a moment, tugging the paper off the box carefully. “Ya know something? I thought I’d never get outta that life. I thought I was stuck in that cycle forever— but if I’m honest…” he reached a free hand towards hers, taking her hand into his own with all the tenderness of a class-A gentleman. He gave it a squeeze. “I’m glad I chose you over everything.”

If it was feasible for a human to turn into a living cherry, Katie’s face would have magically transformed into one. She blustered, a feat he thought impossible, as she held his hand tighter. “You jackass,” the detective giggled. “You gotta do this to me?”

“I aim t’ please…” Danny’s free hand had pried open the box at last, pushing the lid off. He stared down into the contents of what lay before him, and he genuinely looked touched.

A three piece suit, made of refined black satin, and a crisp silk tie dyed a pleasing dark violet, sat innocently in his lap. Sitting on top of that was a gold lighter with beautiful engravings, with his name etched along the metal in elegant cursive.

“You needed a suit to go dancing in,” Katie smirked as his fingers plucked the lighter from the box, thumb brushing across the engravings. “And you ask for a lighter all the time, so…”

The rat yōkai stared at the lighter for the longest time, snapping it open with a practiced flick of his wrist. A bright purple flame of magic origin burst into being, swishing in mystified motions. It captivated him. There was a beauty to its color, mysterious and alluring, it was almost perfect.

Danny found himself smiling. Snapping the lighter closed he squeezed Katie’s hand. “You know how t’ leave me speechless.”

“I aim to please,” Katie quoted back at him, sitting upright to better lounge into the sofa. “NOW we’ve got everyone.”

“Not yet.” Danny stood, going for the tree this time, moving through a mound of shredded paper and boxes. “I still haven’t given ya my gift.” He rummaged around for a second before he grabbed onto the object, yanking it free of the mess of tinsel and branches.

She almost had to do a double take. In his hand, having been freed from its hiding place like Excalibur from the stone, was a gorgeous dreadnought acoustic guitar, but by the looks of it this was a custom model. The base of the guitar was dyed a rich reddish-black with a shadowy gradient blending the two tones on the sides, likely mahogany. Nylon strings finely tuned along the thin neck of the instrument. It was massive, bigger than the one she recalled owning years ago before Bishop decided to take a Glock to it.

Katie was left marveling. “Is that…?”

“Heard your old one got shot fulla bullet holes. Thought it was better that ya got an upgrade.” Danny handed her the mighty item. Though it was hollow, it still surprised her that the guitar managed to be slightly taller than herself.

The boys had all flocked to the couch, sitting either on the carpet or on open spots in the couch and loveseat to watch their mother handle the instrument with delicate care. Scarred, calloused fingers smoothed over the polished wood, absorbing its beauty with an awesome breath. “Dios Mio…”

“Helluva beast,” Raph complimented. “Bet it’ll make some great music.”

Flopping onto a couch cushion with his plushie clutched in his arms, Leo eyed the guitar with wonder. “Sooooooo is this the time where I can ask for lessons?”

“Hell no!” Casey barked out a laugh, falling into the loveseat. “If you try to play it, you’ll break the strings!”

“Dude, how would I break it? Are you sure you’re not talking about yourself?”

“Definitely! I’m a pro at anything! Casey Jones can master any instrument!”

“Uh-huh. Sure. I’ll believe that when carrots fly.”

Mondo hopped into the open seat at Katie’s left, tail falling to rest at his lap. “Can you play something for us?”

“Right now?” Katie couldn’t help but chuckle, tuning the strings. “Haven’t really had the time to practice my skills!”

“Come on, please?” Mondo clasped his hands together, putting on the ‘poor puppy dog eyes’ face to better try and convince her, adding the quivering lip for dramatic emphasis. “For Christmas?”

“Ooooh no, I see what you’re doing, it’s not gonna sway me.” Katie teased, but when she looked to her right eye found the soul-crushing teary eyed expressions of Leo and Donnie doing the same thing. These kid and their damn emotional ploys. “… okay, okay, fine, you win.”

Earning cheers from her boys, the detective sat upright to better adjust her grip on the dreadnought, cradling it close, fingers coming to rest upon the base of the guitar prepping for its first performance. It was as though the strings were humming in her ears, an energy beyond her understanding, yearning to be used, to be played, to be heard.

“What’re you gonna play?” Donnie asked.

“Yeah! I mean,” Leo tucked his legs beneath him, eager to listen. “Do you have a song in mind?”

… that was something she hadn’t thought of yet.

Katie spared a glimpse at her boys, looking at their smiling excitable faces. She looked to Danny, leaning against the wall near the tree, regarding her lovingly. She thought of Grace and Lilium, their laughter a distant echo in the sewers as though their aura still remained.

Yeah… she had a song in mind.

Fingers plucked at the nylon strings. A calm melody started to flow from under worn and calloused fingertips. Then, with a soulful voice, the words came free.

“Candles in the window,

Shadows painting the ceiling.

Gazing at the fire glow,

Feeling that gingerbread feeling…”

The boys were instantly captivated; their postures relaxed, lulled by the sweet melody, soothed by her voice, enjoying the company of their strange family whilst Danny’s smile softened significantly, watching on in silent pride.

“Precious moments.

Special people.

Happy faces.

I can see…”

Katie’s heart felt lighter than air. The stirring of emotions that had conquered the woman’s otherwise tense and painful heart had finally allowed for the vulnerable side to break through, to be willing to open herself up and be freed from the overwhelming amount of grief that had kept her tethered to her shortcomings. Yes, she had lost a part of herself that would likely never be returned to her. She doubted the likelihood of the family reunion she’d desperately longed for with Grace and her niece.

Yes, she’d never get to see them again… but Katie still had a family.

She had her boys. She had Danny. She had them… and they would always have her there to keep them supported.

And that was more than enough.

“Somewhere in my memory

Christmas joys all around me.

Living in my memory,

All of the music. All of the magic.

All of the family home here, with me…”

********************

Tada!! Hope you liked this!! It was fun to get this done! The song Katie’s singing is a cover rendition of ‘Somewhere in my Memory’ from Home Alone! I liked this version a ton so I imagined Katie would sing like this!

Enjoy, and see ya soon!! 😊

@queen-with-the-quill @tending-the-hearth @lameboobah @wasted-and-ready @figuringitoutasigoalong @tmnt-tychou

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt au #familia: forever #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt oc #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #tmnt mutant mayhem #tmnt 2007 #tmnt mondo gecko #tmnt 2012 casey jones #tmnt raphael #mm donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt dastardly danny

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