#never ask anything out of me ever again
Text
They would be so insufferable once they got together I’m telling you right now
Request by @molten-rainbows!💖✨✨
Uni-fying the requests because.
#worst double date ever when those guys keep getting denied access to many places for a second ride#for context! they aren’t the biggest fans of pda actually#they got lost inside the haunted house that also worked like a maze of the sorts. Meryl and Milly got out first and waited for them to#come out. but they never did. Meryl asked for security to look for them and they were caught in a place they shouldn’t be at#when asked abt the hickeys. they say they were hiding from someone who was chasing them. Vash covered WW mouth and he bit his palm#so Vash bit his hand in return. and bc they’re losers they kept going until things started to escalate and well#things ended up like that. and now they can’t get into the haunted house again.#Meryl considers not letting them be too far away from their line of sight because they are bastards separately and how together they are#somehow even worse. Milly won’t really interfere but would stop them if they start anything in public#which they wouldn’t. but they all know that would be a consequence#I cant for the love of me draw with at least a little bit of context behind it even if it’s just three panels OQJWK#without AA i make so many mistakes but whatever#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#trigun fanart#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#millymeryl#the girls finally OQNWM#lenssi draws#Trigun Uni! AU#take the color palette as a grain of salt I have zero consistency. also the style I guess
360 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi comment on the reigen post but his grip is awful lol. hes holding the bottom weirdly and doesnt have proper thumb support, and his hands are not both on the side of the gun! he looks like hes probably learned from tv and is just very bold bcs of his love of mob
Yeah okay honestly you are correct lmao I completely forgot how badly he is teacupping the grip, i just got ahead of myself because of his perfect aim and composure. But yeah:
This makes total sense though because he really would be able to perfectly mimic a movie actor grip, wouldn’t he? What a silly little guy.
Again, apologies for my bold statements on that post that blew up. Some desperate part of me just really wanted Reigen to be a badass 😩 I’ll just have to beat that part of me back into submission for being so impulsive :’)
Thank you anon!
#ask#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#mp100#who let me be a dumbass#never listen to anything I say ever again#do they sell permanent face coverings#example 26635 why#you don’t trust tumblr#on anything#especially guns#I like talking out of my ass
349 notes
·
View notes
Note
I saw Gianni retweet your art on Twitter and I was like "I wonder if he knows...?"
I don’t think so >:3
Trick people into reposting gabe ass with one simple trick! Click here to find out how.
I didn’t even notice that happened cause I turned off all my notifications everywhere a few days ago for peace and quiet
#I don’t think most of the people who retweeted it know it was a shitpost at heart#most people aren’t on tumblr and that’s why it’s safe here#I mean we still got outed eventually but no one really checks tumblr unless they already have an account lol#I’ve had most of my notifications off for a long time but I got rid of everythin now#I can only be reached by messenger pigeon aka when I decide to check the notes or inbox#no one did anything wrong btw I just turned em off cause I suck at interacting with people and it’s easier for me to just not know#too many people followed for that erm well I hope they know I will probably never render like that again cause I just Do Not have the time#if I ever get a job that doesn’t take 12 hours a day I could draw more 🫡#ask#asks#non voice post
52 notes
·
View notes
Note
It is SO comforting that you are an adult who has not read Harry Potter, has no intention to read Harry Potter, and makes no apologies for not having read Harry Potter. I didn’t read them growing up and when I got to adulthood I kept going, “I’ll get around to it.” But depression is a bitch and reading HP was never important enough for me to force myself to do it despite the pressure I got from people. And then when little miss JK started spewing her hateful rhetoric I just went, “You know what? I’m fine without it.”
I do really like the movies though.
there truly is so much content out there in the world that a human can exist quite happily with no knowledge of harry potter i think
#i've seen the movies but shrugs. they're okay. i'll never watch them again.#kind of only watched them At The Cinema when they Came Out because they were The Event. you know.#but i don't remember anything from any one of them and i never rewatched them ever since they were in the cinema.#all of that is very sexy of me i think.#i love being extremely offline for everything all the time. people ask me “hey sci what do you do. what are you into”#i quietly murmur . “um. comic.” then slither back underneath my rock.#sci speaks
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have so many complex feelings about self-harm, but something I feel people don't really think about is how traumatic it can be. I guess many people see it as a "this is all your fault" type of situation, but I really think that does us a disservice and further isolates and encourages self-harm as an act of coping.
It is traumatic at times, maybe not the act itself for some people, but the way those who engage in any self-harming behaviour is treated. I've talked about this before, but I cannot underestimate just how important these conversations are and maintaining compassion and care first rather than shame and humiliation. Everybody needs to be educated about these topics, I think. It is that important.
#mental health advocacy#self harm tw#self harm mention tw#sh tw#trauma#trauma tw#plus at a certain age that self-harming behaviour is literally out of the person's control i think#like tell me that at age three i could do anything else other than that#so i don't buy into the brutalist idea of 'deal with it on your own and stop bothering us; this is ALL your fault'#ask to tag (genuine)#the importance of these topics are why i talk about them so so much#because i suffered NEEDLESSLY and i never ever want that to happen ever again#i was failed. but that doesn't mean y'all have to be
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
buying myself a little Treats such that I do not Succumb to the Madbnes of being at work when I was not scheduled i to Be at Work
#I do want the money and my boss literally got stuck the entire way across the US but#never ask me to clean and close the store ever again. Never ask me for anything ever again#being at work rn is making me mad I should be at home crafting with my hands#But for now. I guess I will eat this konpeito.#kipspeak#going to bed after this. never ask me to clean up ever again please when I get out of retail/food service I will be happy
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
#csa warning for tags#ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh#completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i#also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad#like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man#was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to#'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background#all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or#whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important#i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting#that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently#wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all.#and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head#like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have#to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it.#bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit#i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus#an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually#harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all#bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid.#and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is#but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core.#i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways#rambles#vent
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i wish i could just [redacted]#like i'm genuinely so exhausted. there is no point to anything anymore#i can choose between constant endless suffering or [redacted]#so the second thing is sounding pretty fucking good right now and honestly every single day of my life since i was about 11#its fun that literally nothing helps and i only get worse. yay!#its fun that asking for help is pointless. yay!#its fun that those two prev tags apply to multiple areas of my life. yay!#its fun that no one wants to help anyway. yay!#its fun that no one gives a shit about me unless they're getting something out of it. yay!#its fun that i have no choice but to be completely broken because every attempt to heal is met with more trauma. yay!#its fun that i wasted most of my life with people who would genuinely sell me for a corn chip. yay!#its fun that i have given everything i have over and over again because i never learn and nothing is ever good enough for anyone. yay!#its fun its really really fun i hope i can stay in this world for ever and ever wow wow wow!!!#negative
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
TW for horror ish elements but uh, AU where supernatural creatures exist and the world knows about them so they don't have to hide.
Steve is one of the prestigious Harrington Werewolves, large mansion backed onto the woods for full moons. People always respected or feared his father - a werewolf like him - and so his teachers at school would let him have the day of the full moon off. Where Steve would end up alone in his mausoleum of a house, pacing and trying not to scratch and pull at his hair or punch walls as he got more and more tense as he can start to feel the pull of the full moon. He's angry and hungry and so so lonely. He knows it would be easier with someone else there with him - with pack - werewolves are social creatures except his parents are never home, he doesn't trust Tommy or Carol not to poke and prod, and set him off in a violent rage. So he goes it alone, and it fucking sucks.
The full moon rises, he takes his clothes off, and Steve walks alone into the woods. He can feel it pulling inside him, the call of the moon or the wolf or whatever you want to fucking call it. It has gotten to the point where he can't ignore it anymore. He drops to the ground and screams. Hands grasping at the dirt beneath him, body convulsing as he changes. His bones snap. His muscles tear. Fur sprouts. His muzzle grows. It looks and feels like he is being torn apart. Steve is human and Steve is a wolf and he is both and he is neither and he can hear the moon calling and he wants to rip and tear and hunt and feed and he has no one to calm him down.
He awakens alone and naked in the middle of the woods, covered in dirt and what he hopes is dried animal blood. So he goes home, showers, crawls into bed and tries not to think about going to school tomorrow.
And then he meets Nancy and he's dating Nancy and he can feel the wolf in him getting possessive so he tries to hold back. Except he can smell her perfume from across the room and hear her heart beat all the way across school and he loves her. He wants her near, but he doesn't want to hurt her. And then Barb dies in his pool and Nancy blames them both and he can hear the rumours that he killed her and its eating himself up inside.
The Demogorgan dies and he tries to be better. Nancy says he's bullshit, their love is bullshit, and Steve can hear his own heart breaking.
Then he meets Dustin and the little shit worms his way into his heart, talking about a fucked up dog that ate his cat and asking for tips about how to talk to girls. He fights Billy and is winning until Billy fights dirty and pulls out the silver tipped knife and smashes a plate on his head. He saves their lives and can slowly feel Dustin becoming one of his. He goes round to the Henderson's place for dinner and finds that actually eating a large home cooked meal before the full moon makes the anger and the hunger not as bad. He can pick Dustin's heartbeat out of a crowded room and would recognize his scent anywhere. Steve's reluctant to mention it, maybe it's too much, but he lets it slip once and Dustin thinks it's AWESOME.
Robin starts out as just a coworker, then they get locked in a Russian base together with two kids who they both agreed to protect. And Steve gets tortured to protect Robin because he can take more hits than her. And he does and she thinks they killed him. But he's alive and they're drugged and they're in the mall spilling their guts on a bathroom floor and Steve can hear her heart rabbitting in her chest and can smell the panic rolling off her. Then he makes a joke about Tammy Thompson being a Muppet and it goes away and he knows that Robin is becoming one of his. His platonic soulmate. And she starts coming round to his place after the full moon with breakfast to share. Where she holds him and helps clean him and make sure he comes back to himself. He is not alone.
Next Dustin won't stop talking about Eddie, and Steve can feel the jealously rising in his gut like a horrid sickly thing. He knows that being a werewolf can make his emotions more intense, and he knows that Dustin still loves him but he can't help but worry that he's being replaced. Then Vecna happens and Eddie's wanted for murder and he's meeting Eddie and he can smell the sheer terror rolling off the guy. And then the confusion and relief when they believe him. Next thing they're on the lake and they're in the upside down facing down bats and Steve gives into the wolf as he bites down into it. Lets his eyes glow and his teeth sharpen as he growls when he slams that fucking bat into the ground. Then he talks with Eddie and he's actually kind of cool and really fucking pretty and Steve knows enough about his emotions to know that this could be the start of an all encompassing crush and he's trying hard not to focus on the fact that the vest smells like Eddie and therefore HE smells like Eddie.
Then they're facing Vecna and Steve can't help but extend his werewolf hearing, and he hears Dustin screaming his name, calling for him to come help, it's Eddie. So Steve fucking sprints back to the trailer as fast as he can only to find Eddie bleeding out in Dustin's arms. He knows first aid from his time as a life guard, he can hear his heart still beating, so Steve buckles down and tries to save Eddie's life.
And he does and theyre in the hospital and he's not healing the way a werewolf should and he can't help but focus on the sounds of everyone's heartbeat to ground him. Listening to the sounds of Eddie's surgery through the walls. Trying to push down the overwhelming hospital smell of blood and emotion and medicine and it's all too much and he's hurt and Eddie's hurt.
And that's all I got for right now lmao
(Sorry I keep throwing these aus at you, I don't have any Stranger Things friends and my brain will not stop throwing ideas out)
Oh my sweet christ. Listen I saw this in my inbox and KNEW it was going to be good so I saved it so I could savour every single word and fuck it was worth it
Steve so used to waking up the morning after a full moon with dried tears and dirty sheets, ready to start the clean up routine but Robin let herself and Dustin in. Both sleeping in the spare room. Robin hears Steve waking up and pads through to his room, sees the mess and goes to him, holds him. Tells him it’s okay, he’s okay. Dustin comes in with fresh sheets and kind eyes, dropping the sheets on the floor to crowd around steve. To let him feel that he’s cared for. And he does. For the first time in his life he does.
——
Steve watches Eddie in the hospital. As soon as he gets discharged Steve does a patrol of the new trailer every night. Making sure he can hear Eddie’s heartbeat, forcing himself not to climb through the window when he can hear him tossing and turning, unable to sleep. He never gets close, doesn’t watch him sleep or anything, he’s not like that, Steve just wants to protect and this is the only way he knows how without telling Eddie exactly how he feels.
It’s worse when he’s in wolf form, can feel the pull of Eddie, wants to be with him, wants to keep him safe. Steve wants to talk to Robin and Dustin about this whole body need but can’t. He can’t let them know that the wolf is winning. Can’t risk them looking at him with wary eyes. So he keeps himself quiet and he does his best to protect his friends.
That is until one full moon night one of Eddie’s ‘business meetings’ goes wrong and suddenly Hawkins own Steve Harrington is bounding through town in wolf form because Eddie is in danger.
#I honestly sat slack jawed at what you wrote#I’m just in awe#I can’t form any sort of coherent thought#don’t look at what I wrote it’s absolute dirt I just wanted to make a humble offering#I’m so invested in your au I can’t cope#I mean it if you ever write anything in this again I’ll never stop thabknyou#AND YOU SENT IT TO ME!!! OF ALL PEOPLE!!! THERES MUCHBBETTER TUMBLRS OUT THERE#YOUR WRITING IS SO IMMERSIVE SO ALL ENCOMPASSING#I CANT GET ENOUGH#the details of Dustin and robin joining the way eddie is enfolded in#I JUST!!!#I really sincerely love it I can’t say that enough#truly truly thank you for sending me this#I am fully in love and i would love to read more if you find the time#I’m trying not to shout I really am I’m just so overwhelmed and I want to scream but I won’t oh my lord#everyone please read this ask#ask#steddie#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington
167 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#remind me to never ask my mother for opinions on absolutely anything ever again#i only wanted to see which illustration should go on my portfolio for kidlit art#and her wonderful opinion was to take out an illustration of two dudes EATING TOGETHER because and i quote#"gay relationships are not suitable for children books. it simply isn't their target audience''#does she need the list of the thousand of books that are literally about gay couples or about gay kids?!#they're not even like overtly gay they are literally eating together!!! (sure it is actually gay cause it's fanart of a bl but whatever lol#it's literally two guys sitting at the same table eating...#how is that not appropriate for children?!#also even if they were gettin married or whatever... how's that inappropiate?!#ALSO also i'm sick of reading in every illustration agency how they're looking for artists and writers and whatever who tackle queer storie#like sure i'm not gonna say gay people don't experience discrimination but it's not the fucking 50s... there are opportunities out there#idk i'm just so fuckin upset right now because she's saying I'M the one that's taking it bad#like the whole ''i'm not homophobic but.... blah blah''#and it drives me up the fucking walls to have to deal with this when the only thing i wanted was to have a char about which drawing looks#the best for a professional portfolio lol#anyways now out of fucking spite i'm gonna send all the gay ones i have lol#dkfjhkdfg#angel talks#personal#wish me luck on this email btw i need work!#dfkjghdfg
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
my therapist really saved me….
#tw abuse // tw sa#i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this.#like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her#i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling#literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her#i was so dissociated during our first few sessions#thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out#i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking#i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session#she’s truly incredible.#i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’#i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong#and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’#she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be#best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’#i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply#doing what’s best for me was an option… l#ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress#when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength.#yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D#me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress#im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help.#the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened.#my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’#LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said#’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’#she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point#she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help)#im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it#my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
You can talk about it and I don't think you ever stop missing dogs. I lost one this time last year and still miss her and I still miss the my dog that passed in 2012 too. They are family as far as I am concerned and you will probably always miss her.
Hope you are well and if you need to talk about it please do.
thank u this message rly helped
#fray.txt#ask#Anonymous#i miss my pippy too and i still talk about her like shes with us and send her pics when i show my dogs#and shes been gone awhile now.... i dont actually keep track of the dates ngl#i feel like toos just . touched me in a way that . idk . she was my therapy dog she was everything to me .#when i was at my most delusional i thought we were literal soulmates and spiritually connected and stuff#and when i was at my lowest i told her that im gonna stay alive for her. and that when shes gone i'll go too#its so hard breaking a dumb promise i should have never made#but life without her is so considerably worse . getting up out of bed is agony. doing anything just sucks#i cant do Anything without someone encouraging me cuz she would follow me everywhere without fail and shes not there anymore#i still have her beds in my room#i dont have her toys anymore cuz i buried them with her. she took one of my favourite blankets too#god i wish i could just . loop the last 10 years for the rest of my life#never ending cycle of getting her and losing her#i would do it again and again and again . she was the best thing that ever happened to me
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..
#it’s been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until today….#and it’s like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop#but on the other hand i can’t just abandon him#and it’s like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him#and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didn’t do anything to me and i can’t really explain it but he just wasn’t himself#and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week#it’s been like 5 times since december#but 3 have been on the past month alone#and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident#and like i’m not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved#and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldn’t be w him if it kept happening#and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again#by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive#and like. idk what to do#i really don’t want to be w someone like this#and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i don’t want this i hate feeling like this#but i also can’t abandon him#like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldn’t feel good leaving him alone#but like i don’t want to live like this#maybe i’ll ask for some time to just figure things out#but it’s gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg#i don’t wanna leave but i don’t want things to be like this either#and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk#i just don’t know what to do#i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i can’t abandon him:(#and our 1.5 anniversary was also next week…..#but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uhm..................
#I got an ask‚ and to answer I was bracing myself to make a big bsd content masterpost#And I did! I was already on my way to share all the manga reading platform I use for every manga‚ I had already listed them up#And I was going to add the additional content like anime streaming resources and art scans resources...#But now I'm having some serious reconsiderations#Like I was happy to make a masterpost! Making masterposts is fun-#and fuels the autistic need to put every little thing in little categories#But now I don't know if it's... Safe to have them all in one place?? I was very glad to share with people the resources I personally use-#but I really don't want to make something that is just. A big list of sites to report / shut down. The thought scares me immensely#And I thought it was safe to share manga reading platforms on Tumblr but what about‚ to name one‚ n/yaa? Would it be safe to link to that?#And it's something I'd highly want to include because some stuff that's there you won't find anywhere else‚#such as the Dead Apple official English translation‚ the official Beast English scans...#Same would go‚ to make another example‚ for m/initokyo‚ or anime streaming platform.#Is it safe to share those... Uhm... More hidden websites through Tumblr? And if not‚ do I have any alternative for sharing?#I'm quite sad because I was already half way through making the list-#but now I'm not sure it's worth to continue if I never end up sharing it.#But then again the safety of people who share content has the maximum priority to me– I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING without them#Mmmmmmmmmmmhhhh...#I even contemplated sharing the masterlist through text file‚ but I'm not sure if that might work out.#For one‚ I will never EVER use g/oogle docs or any g/oogle service for the matter. I'd rather die#So... I'd really appreciate it if anyone could advice me on this / had any suggestion / thought#random rambles#Sorry for the long ramble. I'm stuck
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything
Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds
#like. i went out earlier to get bread#just bread bc we cant afford anything else#got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like#our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off#and it usually wont switch off over weekends#presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway#so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday.#but then itll be at least a tenner in debt#then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is#or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing#and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days#we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen#like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its.#its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in#and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel#and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me#but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change.#whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness#tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s#like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but#dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
vintagepearll
Untitled
jessdudez
Jessdudez
rigshady27
Regular Blog >RigShady27
the-one-and-only-wild
I am Kenough
paetrichor
do you have no soul?✿