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#and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week
cntloup · 1 day
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You're both unhinged and self-sabotaging... idiots😒
Everything was going perfectly. Even though for him, managing a relationship was very difficult, also challenging for both of you. Due to his job, his past, also yours... you had your own demons too. But after some time of battling your inner demons and trying so hard to be better for each other, you could say it was perfect... Or so you thought.
Doubt started creeping through the crevices of your mind, dribbling droplets of poison bit by bit.
He started coming back home late, sometimes drunk... never too much, but you always noticed.
You started finding bits and pieces of what your poisoned mind thought as evidence... evidence of what? No... it couldn't be.
There were occasionally pieces of paper with someone's number on it in his pockets when you were to empty them before doing laundry.
There were strands of long hair on his clothes, different colors each day.
It all messed with your mind to the point of madness.
You started to pull away from him more and more every day.
And it seemed as though he didn't care at all.
What you didn't know was that he was doing the same.
It was all too much for him, so new... this newfound feeling burning in his heart, seething more day by day, overwhelming him to the point of wanting to entirely sever the ties between you.
And he thought he doesn't deserve it. All the love you give him, doting on him all the time. He felt like you're wasting your pure heart on a broken man who can't give anything back, pouring all your heart into this blackhole.
-----
"What’s wrong?" he asks, noticing your lingering gaze on his clothes.
"What’s this, Simon?... I- I keep finding these on your clothes..." you respond, voice almost shaking as you're on the verge of tears.
"We were sparring with the rookies. That's probably where they came from." he says, pausing for a moment, "What? You thought-"
"What about the numbers? Huh? The numbers in your pocket?" you cut him off, a cutting edge to your tone as you glare at him with rage... and fear... fear of what you might find out.
"What? They probably slipped them in my pocket when I was in the shower... fuckin' perverts... I was gonna throw them out... I forgot... What are you trying to say?" he says, voice rising with each sentence to match your angry tone.
You continue staring at him with millions of emotions coursing through you all at the same time.
Until you suddenly break down, wailing as you collapse on the ground and he's utterly dumbfounded as he stands there, not knowing what to do... or what even happened to cause such a reaction.
He takes you in his arms, still not sure about the whole situation.
"What’s wrong, love? Please talk to me!" he says while holding you and rubbing your back to somewhat soothe you.
"Simon! I- I don't know what's wrong with me... I'm sorry..." you choke out through violent sobs.
"Why did you come back so late? Not just tonight... Why did you start to act so distant all of a sudden?" you ask, gazing at him through glossy eyes as countless tears stream down your face.
"I'm sorry... I... I'm not used to this..." he utters in a quiet voice, head hanging down.
"It was going great! What happened to us?!" you ask as you cling to his chest while still uncontrollable sobs escape you.
"I think this is new for us both." he says, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer.
"Yeah..." you hum, holding on to him tightly, not planning to let go any time soon. And he will hold you back through all of it.
"We'll work through it, right?" you ask hesitantly, "We will, love... I promise." he says, finally putting your mind at ease.
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iceinwrt · 2 days
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Me, and my opinion. Last post.
Ok, I am simply amazed that there are comments on whb. Ha. When they were complaining about Levi and his new card, I thought it was because of how childish and silly it had been. I didn't expect them to give him the real P solely because Mc was younger.
So, at some points, with some posts talking about it, I thought I was going to be really rude if I got into an argument, “over nothing”, but now that I'm justified...
1.- We are adults.
And as adults that we are, we don't get to invent, or assume. We resolve ourselves with facts, and with coldness. We do not launch stupid and unverifiable accusations. If we want to point out a fact, you must demonstrate that Leviathan, as a character, is a pedophile.
2.- Do I really have to explain it?
For the people who accuse Leviathan of being a pedophile, where the hell do they get that from? Are they guided only because they wear a uniform? Mc may very well be over the legal age of consent for sexual relations in any country, not only that, Mc's nationality is Korean. In South Korea, they enter college at between 18-19 and finish between 22-23. At no time was it specified that Mc went to high school, or anything like that. Another point, are they really going to discuss the age of Mc when Leviathan biblically exists since the beginning of creation? Really? I don't know if those people will feel better if Mc is at least five thousand years old.
If don't have enough…
Well, let's say Mc was 16-17. You, player, are between 19-30. Do you know what age the game is geared towards? +18 in case we forgot the LITTLE detail. What if they know that Mc is the player's representation? Idk what they want. Especially BECAUSE THEY ARE ADULTS who know how to tell the difference, separate fact from fiction, separate a game from real life. Leviathan is not out there on the loose, looking for 18-23 year old “babes”, my god. And no one who plays the game, is going after a minor just because Leviathan likes the Mc who is probably 20 YEARS OLD. And more, of course. The story is based ON A DREAM, MADE OF MAGIC. Where do they find sense for they to want to complain about it? At this point I am indeed laughing at how absurd it sounds, because that's what it is.
Last but not least.
Okay, let's ignore all of the above. If you don't like the game, because it has certain themes, stop playing, go to Play Store, and look for the thousands of Otome games you like so much. There are millions, even those that touch only a sexual plot. There are hundreds and hundreds of different games for all tastes, but don't ruin the experience for other players just because other people think Leviathan is a pedophile. The game is PB's, and they can do whatever they wants with it as they has always done.
Really is the last.
With this point, it is where we delve into the fact that PB never gently implies when they talk about abuse, nor do they leave it implicit. They never did, they never would, they know the topics they touch on, how they use them and they never romanticize them. We are all aware of when it happens, and we are consistent enough to know that it is wrong, and that we are not going to replicate it in our daily lives, nor idealize as if we were 13 years old.
So, person who thinks they saw the worst of the worst, and you expose it as if no one has three fingers in front to understand it, question it and know it's a game, you're not helping anyone. Those of us in fandom are not idiots to not know what we are consuming. We know what whb is, we are aware of the complicated issues, and no, we are not 14, much less 16, we can think for ourselves and know what is wrong. You don't have to stress what we already know, please. If you want to complain, don't make a pointless war out of the issue, show that you have reading comprehension and do it on a reasoned basis. (Although I don't promise that anyone is going to take any notice of you for it, because no matter what you say, I repeat, we know what we are consuming).
If someone has to send this to one of those who can't even research for a minute, do it. Because it is truly fucked up to be at the expense of a daily absurd complaint.
Clarification.
I am not implying that no one is complaining. In fact, we should understand, learn, and tolerate all opinions, but it's one thing to say that Leviathan is an unprecedented jerk, abuser, and manipulator (and I would totally agree with the point), and quite another to accuse him of seriousness, spread him thin, and have more people, who don't know about the subject, want to play along, to the point that they get to PB.
I knew that whb had the potential to grow
And reach the public, even the wrong audience. But for certain types of people to make such a big deal over a card, especially over something as trivial as the Leviathan card it's absurdly stupid.
My prediction of all this is that Pretty Busy is going to be criticized sooner or later. We accept it, but we know it's not going to come from fandom, because we're not teenagers with attention issues.
It looks like PB is going to have to post more warnings and cautions about its content and the kind of themes they can find in it even within the game itself. I, what I fear the most, is that they will end up censoring it. (Because it's not enough for X and Play to have it labeled as C content.)
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9w1ft · 2 days
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i need help. i’m so slow at unpacking the songs & their lyrics but you guys seem so confident that Kaylor lives. mind sharing lyrics or interpretations that you make you feel confident?
i think i speak for a lot of kaylors when i say we weren’t going into this album thinking we were all in some make or break situation, where the songs would be what decides whether or not kaylor lives. and we haven’t come out of it feeling different! so for starters, the very process of processing the songs is a bit different, i think, than the process suggested in your question.
this post got kinda long so i’m going to put it under the cut! and just a tl;dr that i am just talking about this aforementioned process. i’ve started writing out interpretations for the songs that have caught my kaylor attention but it’s taking time, so i thought id go ahead and post the other aspect of my answer in the meantime
a big part of kaylor interpretation is taking a look at what taylor and karlie were doing over the period of time that an album was written and the lead up to album rollout, and seeing if it looks like karlie knew in advance about what would be on the album, or how it would be promoted. the fundamental idea is that if taylor and karlie truly hated each other like everyone insists, that they wouldn’t go out of their way to drop hints or allow one another to drop hints.
so for example, karlie started wearing this pair of sunglasses with the product name “poet” before the name of the album (the tortured poets department) was ever known. she walked in two schiaparelli runway shows (the significance being that these days its rare for her to walk a show, and she’s never walked for schiaparelli before although she’s been to their shows in years of late), one of these schiaparelli shows was specifically alien themed, which lines up with the theming of Down Bad, and then next taylor announced the tortured poets department at the grammys wearing custom schiaparelli (i don’t think taylor’s ever worn the house before). so like, these sorts of things don’t make sense until later but they are signs we look to as a backdrop when going into an album. they are a sort of most recent indicator of the state of the union.
historically (especially post 2019 when what i call the scorched earth narrative was disseminated) people looking to disprove kaylor tend to brush off this stuff (twinning, similar theming or messaging in social media, etc) as oh it’s coincidental, but even if it’s not, any kaylor things that happen now are just because taylor is grieving and desperate for karlie and/or karlie wants notoriety because she wants… more money. but as i’ve said and as many have said for the past 5 years, it makes no sense and is such a misread of drivers for karlie and taylor. i beg people to try and put themselves in karlie’s shoes and ask themselves, would you endure all the hate for… more… money?? would you fly across the country and go to taylor’s concert two weeks post-partum, in a state of physical disrepair just to… spite her?? and have millions of people send hate at you for it..?
anyway, i know this is different than lyric analysis but it’s an integral part of kaylor analysis so i wanted to highlight it. i’d also point out that a whole bunch of people are currently analyzing her entire back catalog re: matty context clues in the same ways so 🤷🏻‍♀️ i think it’s a natural tendency for a lot of people— with kaylor though it’s outlawed.
and i want to reiterate that i think observing the time surrounding the album is a particularly worthwhile thing to do because it takes into account a more recent period of time than that of which the songs represent. i think people can get tunnel vision analyzing an album or individual songs and lose sight of the fact that we are here now after the album has been written. the lyrics are not the most recent thing!
another point i feel that needs mentioning is that with kaylor, among kaylors, we are looking at recent albums more for signs of taylor weaving a story of them that leads to them getting back together publicly. the idea that we are probably not going to get some big reveal that oh everything prior was fake! we have always been together! but rather some separate telling of events that preserves the integrity of people involved to some extent. so there are likely several layers going on when looking at songs. a mix of truth and augmented truths. songs can be useful towards meeting an end goal without telling the entire truth, while the fact that they are useful is still an indicator of the meta truth. i know this sounds a little convoluted... but thats alright im not invested in proving it to people 🙈 (nor do i think it should be provable!!)
lastly, while i am still compiling all my kaylor observations from each song, i did want to point out the obvious: that my understanding of the album (and i assume this is true for more kaylors as well) is colored by the inclusion of the song Robin. …i guess i will mince my words a little bit because i consider it a sensitive subject but basically, it’s a song about something that we would expect taylor would be singing about if they’re together in the way we understand it to be, given what we have been shown. and some of the lyrics are so specific to this… far flung idea… and such a contemporary development… that it sort of works to recontextualize any of the songs on ttpd that would otherwise feel breakuppy? because it pushes the story so far forward in matching our understanding. the hardest songs are easier to see as emblematic of the past, and the path that led us here to the present. in this way, at least for me, it makes it easier to appreciate the kaylor easter eggs going on in the songs as emblematic of kaylor, as opposed to litigating them and filing them one by one, because i truly believe taylor would not release Robin if kaylor was actually over. same goes for recurring motifs throughout the album (and midnights, and you might also include folkevermore as well) related to what robin is about. might sound weird to say but you could almost make a drinking game out of the motif, honestly, given how often she does it throughout the album.
i know the whole thing is wild. i have accepted this and im not out here to push it on people 😌 though i do leave the porch light on for people passing by. because for years now, with each new album people continue to say oh this is the kaylor breakup album, oh she’s finally over it, and then i guess they get amnesia by the time the next album comes along and kaylor themes yet again persist. and idk, to me, kaylor just being together this whole time is actually one of the least complicated outcomes.
anyways, in conclusion, apologies for not providing a song by song analysis right away 🙏 but i wanted to put out this part in the meantime. i don’t expect everyone to agree with this premise but i think it’s key to understanding how a lot of us approach this album. i hope it provides a little insight into my perspective! 🫶
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thanksjro · 2 days
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More Than Meets the Eye #51 — Ten Has Done So Much for All of You, and for What? You Don't Deserve Him.
So, obviously, last issue ended rather poorly for Team Rodimus and Pals. It doesn’t look like the start of this one going much better, as a mass of baddies bombard the late Necrobot’s “Fortress”. Whirl, being Whirl, wants to go out and face his certain death head-on. Everyone else is more than fine to wait for death to come to them.
Rewind, showing off the skills he’s picked up as a videographer over the last several thousand years, gets the security cameras up. I’m assuming that Censere had these installed to keep an eye out for bored space teens who might have wanted to graffiti his millions of plinths. Too bad it didn’t save him, or his property, as outside, Tarn is shooting the ground with his twin fusion cannons. He’s having to hold his arm in place with his other hand, as I’m sure the kickback of firing two lasers at once must be something fierce. He finishes and commands his troops to cease firing, everyone withdrawing.
The Lost Lost Lighters are super jazzed about this, Brainstorm stating that they must have heard about Tailgate’s Power Punch, an attack with a name so banal, it surely must kill anyone who faces it, if only so they don’t talk shit about it after the fact.
Megatron, however, knows what Tarn’s pulling, as he’s a theatre kid, and everyone knows that the really intense theatre kids follow their scripts to a T, and will murder you for trying to ad lib like some filthy fucking improv performer.
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By doing this, he’s honoring Shakespeare.
Swerve has begun to bawl like a baby over how bad the situation has gotten, likely recalling all the awful shit he witnessed the last time he crossed paths with the DJD. Magnus, who still has his arm off, because Velocity is all about uplifting her fellow women, demands that they try to call for assistance, then apologizes for swearing, even though he’s absolutely at the very least said “damn” in the past. Maybe he’s confusing the total inability to curse with the IDW publication law that you’re not allowed to say “bitch” until your series has been truncated by 50%. Or maybe he only allows himself to swear in the presence of poor snack management. Anyway, it’s not like it matters— Megatron’s just informed everyone that Tarn also likes to cut the phone lines in situations like this.
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All of this, because you wanted middle management for your faction.
Because Megatron never baked any sort of loophole into the DJD’s way of handling shit, because how the fuck could he have possibly known he’d one day have to denounce his entire reason for existing to satisfy the commercial whims of Hasbro, the gang is going to have to figure out some way to defend themselves or escape in the next eight hours. Rodimus orders everyone to split up and look for clues, blowing off Ten in the process.
Velocity calls Swerve, the closest thing to a doctor besides her, to come look at the Necrobot’s corpse, which appears to have turned into a pile of ash. Swerve informs her that this is what happens when someone who’s old as balls kicks it. Now, it may concern you that Velocity, who was the only doctor for a ship of over 200 until this morning, doesn’t know what a dead old man looks like. However, we must recall that age-related spark burnout hasn’t been a thing until very recently for Cybertronians, and Caminus, the colony Velocity is from, is marginally younger as a society. It probably just hasn’t happened in her circles yet.
Velocity and Swerve play around in the pile of old man dust, until she pulls a key out, with “1/001” written on it. Her search party will be focusing on finding what this key goes to, as it was surely important, given that it was on Censere’s person at the time of his death.
Over on the DJD’s ship, The Peaceful Tyranny, Deathsaurus stares at the corpses Tarn’s nailed to the wall of his room. The nails have Decepticon insignias on the heads, because of course they do. These are the same corpses Tarn had on the wall of his office in Grindcore. Tarn asks if Deathsaurus is impressed with his first editions, and when Deathsaurus is understandably bewildered by this question, Tarn explains that these are corpses that were sent home after dying in the mines of Messatine, who had Megatron’s writing etched into their organs by Terminus, so that said writing would reach the outside world. Tarn thinks it’s pretty fucking cool, but Deathsaurus is, again, bewildered by this interior design choice. In general, Deathsaurus is bewildered by a vast majority of the ways Tarn chooses to live his life.
Tarn, opening the mouth section of his mask to drink a shot’s worth of energon, likely totally unable to see as he does so, since the eye holes don’t line up anymore, says that if Deathsaurus was a true intellectual like Tarn was, he’d understand that trying to chase down a ship with quantum jump capabilities is really difficult when you no longer have a sneaky little double agent to give you exact coordinates, so grounding their targets was the best option. No word on how Tarn feels about the ship he super-nightmare-death-murdered being perfectly fine now.
Deathsaurus really just wants to know why they backed off after having their targets cornered, because he hates Tarn and his stupid little games, having been working with him for at least a couple months by this point. Tarn, however, has the audacity to be smug about how all the Autobots are probably tearing each other apart out of fear, as the sun makes its way across the sky.
Back with Velocity’s search party, Nautica’s joined the one-and-a-half doctors in the Key Quest. Velocity asks Swerve about why Ten came down with the rest of the group, and in Swerve’s defense, it’s not like anyone knew this was a murder trip until after they’d arrived. When the brain attack happened last issue, Swerve hadn’t disclosed what exactly he’d heard— now, however, he admits that he’d gotten an earful from Ten about the Ambus Test, and how just because he’s made up of the corpses of multiple religious hermits doesn’t mean he isn’t a person too, and also once that union gets going, he’s gonna sic lawyer-mode Magnus on him.
Anyway, they found the door that key went to.
Back with Rodimus in the main room, he’s collecting the notes of all the other search teams. Rung’s face has been shaded to look like he got lip fillers. Rodimus isn’t pleased, but it isn’t because of Rung’s gotten work done.
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Nightbeat, however, DOES have good news to pair off with the bad. News so good he starts using metaphors, which confuses and frightens Magnus. Nightbeat has found the quantum travel device the Necrobot used to travel to the deaths he recorded, and what do you know? It’s got just enough juice to get everyone out of dodge and into the loving embrace of safety. Hooray! Time to form an orderly queue, going from most to least obnoxious paint job.
Then Team Killjoy shows up, Velocity and Nautica letting everyone know what’s behind door #1: it’s a bunch of organics in stasis.
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I will say, the inverse of Transformers fans collecting robot toys mint in package is decidedly more disturbing.
Whirl isn’t horribly keen to die over a bunch of squishy nobodies. Nautica states that the organics are vulnerable and need protection. Skids, really wanting to be in that straight-passing relationship, agrees that the DJD will totally kill these guys, because they learned their technoism from SOMEONE MEGATRON. Chromedome, who has had his husband back for maybe six months at this point, really doesn’t want to stick around for the sun to set. Cyclonus asks just why the fuck there’s a bunch of dudes in the basement. Tailgate wonders if it really matters, considering the situation at hand. Magnus, needing direction in his life, makes sure that Rodimus hasn’t decided to take a nap standing up like a horse. Brainstorm, who has been oh-so-subtly trying to edge the door to the quantum tube shut, makes the point that they could do a lot of good after the fact, if they left now and then vowed to protect a slew of organics afterwards, which would eventually even out their sins, probably.
Rodimus feels pretty good about this proposal, but he loves looking like the most appealing, middle-of-the-road choice, and says that they have some time to talk this out. However, we’ve forgotten that we’re riding with Mr. Ex-Peace Through Tyranny, who does nothing in half-measures and loves to be contrarian to Rodimus at every given opportunity.
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This turn of events is such a shock to Rodimus, he shouts at Ten for trying to show him something. Poor Ten.
Rodimus reminds Megatron just what exactly they’re up against and what he’s signing himself up for and for what variety of living creature, but Megatron is aware of all of these things. Looks like the talking to Skids gave him on the duplicate Lost Light finally sank through his thick skull, and he’s ready to be a big boy about this whole Autobot thing. He then informs everyone that he’s not doing this to make a point, and that anyone who wants to dip is welcome to do so, as long as they’re doing it for themselves.
Of course, it’ll be a cold day in hell before any Autobot lets Megatron out-Autobot them, and it’ll be an even colder day before Cyclonus leaves his not-boyfriend alone on Murder Planet. Oh, and the fact that organic life is just as valuable as mechanical. Totally. Everyone defaults to stay, Rodimus closing the door to the quantum tube.
Swerve then offers a real heel-clicker of an alternate escape plan: what if… we just stole the DJD’s ship, stuffed it full of the organics, and flew away before anyone noticed? Now, this is, of course, an immaculate plan, which no man could ever find fault in, but Whirl is not a man, but rather a machine, and does question where exactly they’d be getting the keys to such a ship. Cyclonus is trying to be a bit more of a supportive friend to Swerve, since the last time the guy felt left out, they all had to project their consciousnesses 400 miles out and pay NYC rent, asks if there is more to this perfect, perfect plan, crafted in one of the finest minds of any generation.
There is not.
So, we’re gonna steal a ship.
Ravage offers to track the smell of unwashed bachelors and Megatron body pillows to see where the DJD parked. Rodimus gives him his blessing, marveling at the skillset at his disposal, as Magnus makes a fucking wild face of incredulousness and Ten sulks in the corner.
Before he runs off, Ravage brings Megatron a phone and asks that he talk to Tarn, because surely if anyone can get him off the warpath, it would be his old boss.
Back at the Peaceful Tyranny, Tarn, Deathsaurus, Nickel, Tesarus, and Vos are going over the plan for the day. Sure hope Deathsaurus can parse Primal Vernacular. Tesarus reminds Tarn of the time they went after Heretech and he turned a storm shield into a forcefield that held them off for days, but this band of Autobot nerds aren’t Heretech, now are they? Even if they do have an ex-Wrecker, a Skids, and the power of love on their side.
Then Tarn tells everyone to shut the fuck up, because he’s getting a call on his electric razor.
Back at the “Fortress”, Megatron stands astride the space scooter, looking horribly depressed, as he prepares to have a little chat with his most murderous fanboy. Rodimus questions this decision, having clocked that even on his best day, Megatron wouldn’t just whole-heartedly decide to effectively kill himself for the sake of 50-60 organics he doesn’t even know.
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Of course, we’ve seen that at least one planet in the Magisterian system still has life, as the Scavengers had to use holomatter avatars at some point, as seen in issue #45. Perhaps if Megatron knew about this, he wouldn’t be so keen to go on a suicide mission.
Over with Ravage, he passes by Skids’s plinth, which I’m sure isn’t an omen of any kind, and discovers that the smell of B.O. and hot pockets he was following wasn’t attached to the Peaceful Tyranny, but rather a base the DJD and Deathsaurus’s boys threw together. Also, Ten’s been crawling after him in an attempt to keep hidden this whole time, over what was likely multiple miles. He didn’t do a good job in the slightest, but points for tenacity, buddy. Ravage understands that Ten’s just trying to help in some form or fashion, so Ravage gives him a special job: bullet sponge.
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Deathsaurus’s men, Helex, Kaon, and the Pet all see Ten up on the hill. Kaon in particular looks very excited at the promise of a plaything, so much so that he lets his rabid little chihuahua off-leash.
Meanwhile, Megatron races across his personal field of spark flowers, on his way to rendezvous at his plinth with Tarn. I wonder who suggested this meeting spot? When Megatron arrives, he demands that Tarn at least face him with his, well, face, but Tarn says that his mask IS his face, even though we know it isn’t, because Tarn couldn’t commit to the bit hard enough on this particular front for some reason.
Megatron offers himself up for surrender. But enough about his crisis of morality, let’s get back to Ten.
Ten, former Legislator that he is, fights valiantly, throwing four guys in the air at once, even as the Pet scratches his collar bone and Helex punches him in the head, his face telling me that he’s gonna do horny mouth shit with Ten’s brain if he manages to get ahold of it. Kaon’s in the background, shooting electricity into the sky. I think he’s just happy to be here. This nonsense up on the hill allows Ravage to sneak over to the base to check for a ship that DOESN’T smell like wine, jockstraps, and viscera.
Back with the Autobots, someone finally remembers that Ten’s a person, and asks where the hell he’s gotten to. Magnus isn’t sure, though he knows where he HAD been. I expect better from you, Magnus. Ten is your little buddy! Your brother in artistic arms! He even left something for your enjoyment, while he went out to help Ravage!
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After having solved the issue of their defense system, Ten went out and got his ass shredded for multiple pages, where he was repeatedly shot and set on fire and torn limb from limb and electrocuted (I guess someone finally pointed Kaon in the right direction). It seems like the end for Ten, but his assailants are suddenly shot and dealt with, blanketing the hill in silence.
Silent enough to hear the equivalent of twenty USD in Australian dollaridoos, having been converted into English pounds, rustling around in a British guy’s wallet.
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nerdy-prude · 3 days
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"You go too fast for me Crowley"
It has been 6000 years, surely that can't be "too fast"?
Well, let's look at this from a different perspective:
For us 6000 years is a long time, obviosly it is. But for an immortal entity who has been alive for millions of years?
For an angel who has spent his whole life beliving that heaven is good and therefore he himself is a bad Angel for falling for a demon?
For an angel who is scared of what they might do to him and most importantly to his best (and only) friend if heaven and hell found out they are their own side?
And it hasn't been 6000 years for Aziraphale. He fell when Crowley saved him and his books during 1941. When Azira gives Crowley holy water and this conversation takes place it is 1967.
For 26 years Aziraphale has been trying to make sense of his emotions. And again, 26 years, for us is a long time but not for him. I mean Crowley slept through the whole 19th century, so 26 years is nothing to them.
Azira has just done a huge favor for Crowley because he doesn't want Crowley to get hurt during the mission to get holy water. Azira has managed to silence the part of him that keeps telling him that he shouldn't feel this way about Crowley. He has only just started to take a few shaky steps towards his own freedom away from heaven.
And then Crowley invites him for a date. That is a change that has also just happened in his head, thinking that maybe this could be a date. Still scared and confused about everything he claims that Crowley goes too fast for him. It is partly true and also way easier to say than to explain how scared he is that Crowley might end up getting hurt if they get together. He has just barely admited to himself that he likes Crowley, he is not ready to say it outloud. He is scared someone is going to hear it and hurt Crowley. And you must remember here, Aziraphale doesn't get scared easily.
The reason Zira is so scared about this is because he doesn't know how to control the situation. It isn't like a bunch of men coming to his shop demanding him to sell it and talking about how flamable paper is. He can't just miracle this problem away.
But then Aziraphale continues by inviting Crowley to a picnic one day. He is basically saying: "Give me time to get this sorted and then I promise we can just be an us"
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Patrick Bet-David Noticing Some Amazing Coincidences With These College Protests, Things Like Both Election Year Protests started around the same time: The George Floyd BLM riots happened in May 2020 Now in May 2024, College Protests are happening The media is repeating the exact same lines, “If one student dies” David “If one student dies, it's as if they want this” “The date is May 26th, you can Google this, 2020, when George Floyd died and all they needed was a story like that. They need chaos. Today is May 2nd. We are roughly a little over three weeks away from that date with George Floyd.” Now Breaking Down The Money Trail: Do you know what percentage of the revenue that Harvard got in their endowment in 2021 came from actual tuition of students trying to get a degree from Harvard? Tuition, degree, Harvard. What do you think it is? A lot of people say, well, $60,000, $70,000 a year. $80,000, that's how they make their money. Really? Only 10% of their endowment came from actually doing their job, educating students. Do you know 39% came from donations? Do you know 10% came from gifts? Do you know nearly 49% of the money Harvard got in 2021 is from donations and gifts? Only 10% is from students. So let me ask you a question. Let's paint a picture here. Let's just say, let's just say the professor of Harvard, the dean, the president of Harvard, of Columbia, their assistant says, Mr. President, we have two people waiting for you on hold. Line one is, your number one student's parents. How much money did they give us last year? I think outside of the tuition, around $300,000. Who's on line two? George Soros. Oh, oh, tell Mr. Jackson, the number one student's parents, I'll call him back. Please put Mr. Soros through. Hello, Mr. Soros. How can we help you? Oh, because you gave so much money and da-da-da-da-da and all these other endowment money being given to them. FYI, let me go a little bit deeper for you. Do you know China, since 2019, 2018, they've given roughly $400 million to universities in America. Do you know what university they gave the most money to? 70 million went to Harvard. Who's Harvard's number one customer? Students? Or these people that are giving massive donations to them, who's their number one customer? It's very strange when you sit there and you ask yourself, why are they doing nothing about it? Why are they okay with Palestine flags going up and not America's flag going up? It's because we're not asking the right question. The moment we find out who the number one customer is, that gives the most money, it gives you a lot of perspective to realize, if you ran A, you do construction, you're a general contractor. You have two clients. One of them gave you $50 million of business to big buildings last year. The other one gave you $10 million. Which client is more important to you? So why are people confused? These professors, these professors that we're all trusting our kids with who hate America, we're supposed to spend that kind of money and send our kids there that are being controlled by the people that are giving the donations who hate America, and we're supposed to be okay with that. Yeah, I think we're naive. I think we need to start exposing and talking about some of this stuff. I'm going to put the link below for you to watch. But I wonder. Who do you think, from all the stuff that I just said to you, who do you think is their number one customer? You? The students? The parents? Or those people that are giving the most donation to these guys? I don't think it's a tough question to ask, but I want to ask you, what do you think? Comment below.” This is a summary of what’s being said, there’s much more good details in the video.
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javier-pena · 2 days
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interlude: compersion
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Pairing: Katie x f!reader (Katie x Javier Peña)
Word Count: 3.6k
Rating: Explicit (🤭🤭🤭)
Summary: Katie comes home from work with a story to tell.
Warnings: established polyamorous relationship (and navigating what this means) | fingering | dirty talk | a bit of hair pulling | mentions of alcohol | semi-public sex (mentioned) | unprotected p in v sex (mentioned)
Notes: So the thing is I actually wrote this in August 2023, and I wanted to not post it right away for reasons that are too complicated to discuss in this short note. This is set after Triumvirate, Part 4 which I obviously haven't written yet, but I woke up this morning with this strong urge to post this short drabble, so here it is. As always, I want to thank Dani @alexturner for encouraging me to work on this story, and for still indulging something that started as a hungover idea literally years ago. I had a lot of fun reading through all your excited comments this morning that you left almost a year ago!!
masterlist | join the taglist
***
“It was fine.” That’s the answer Katie gives you to the question whether she had a nice day at work. “No, not really,” she answers whether anything exciting happened. “He’s going to be late … paperwork.” It’s curious how her voice breaks when she says that.
You’re in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for a light salad. Katie is there too, still in her office attire, nursing an ice-cold beer bottle, nervously picking at the label. Your gaze definitely isn’t fixed to her throat every time she takes a sip, and it most definitely doesn’t get stuck on the exposed flesh that appears between the silk fabric of her blouse when she stretches her back.
Katie is agitated tonight, as if there is something on her mind she wants to tell you but can’t find the words for. You’ve been there before – the first time she killed a man, coming home terrified of you looking at her differently now. The one time her estranged best friend from college died and she couldn’t handle the grief on her own. And the one time Javi shouted at her in front of the entire team and her heart cracked a tiny bit (this one was easily fixed – Javi made it up to her and it hasn’t happened since). It just takes her a while to say the words, but you know she’ll eventually find them, and you’ll be there for her once she does.
“I picked up this at the market today,” you change the subject, holding up a borojó. “I thought we could try it after dinner.”
Katie looks at the green fruit warily, and her calculating gaze makes you laugh. “What?” Katie challenges.
“Nothing … your … you look at everything like it’s a problem to be solved. It’s endearing.”
Katie’s cheeks darken with a flush. “I was just wondering how we should go about cutting it open.”
“One step at a time,” you say, putting down the knife you’re holding and wiping down your hands. “Did something happen at work today? Something you need to talk about?”
Katie grimaces. “I can never hide anything from you, can I? I mean, Javi is … that’s one thing, that’s his job. But you …”
“Call it female intuition.”
Katie rolls her eyes, but settles them on you with a loving gaze. “Later,” she says.
You nod. “So something did happen then?”
“Oh my God.” Katie laughs one of her mesmerizing laughs that doesn’t leave anyone cold. “You bitch.”
Your heart skips a beat. “Thanks. That’s something I learned from Javi.”
Katie smiles at you, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me now?” you try again.
Katie stands up from the small kitchen table with a sigh, leaves the bottle of beer behind. “It’s nothing bad,” she says, leaning against the kitchen counter next to you. “I’m honestly not even sure why I feel so nervous talking about it.”
You watch her, waiting for her to continue.
“Javi and I … we …” Katie takes a deep breath, lowers her gaze to the kitchen floor.
This beginning could be followed by a million different outcomes, infinite possibilities. Your heart beats faster now, some of Katie’s nervousness rubbing off on you. You feel her naked arm next to yours, her bare skin hot to the touch. She rubs her neck, brushing against your arm in the process.
“Today,” Katie starts again, “Javi called me into his office.” She lowers her hand, grips the kitchen counter behind her like she needs all the support she can get. “We did it.” She stumbles over the words, and then her gaze is on you, searching your face for any kind of reaction.
You’re not quite sure how you’re supposed to react. “You did what?” you ask.
“Oh,” Katie whispers, pulls a grimace, buries her face in her hands. When she looks back up, she’s bright red. “We had sex.”
Several things happen at once. You laugh out loud with relief because you had expected the worst, even if you didn’t show it. You laugh because Katie, your Katie, the most confident, the most outspoken, the sexiest woman you know, struggled to admit she fucked her boyfriend. And you feel a tingling sensation at the base of your spine, one that wasn’t there a second ago.
“Okay,” you say, licking your lips. “Okay,” you repeat.
“I know we agreed to be open about it all.” Katie is stumbling over the words again. “I don’t want you to think I was trying to keep it a secret.”
“I wasn’t thinking you were,” you assure her, trying to ignore the tingling that’s growing stronger. “It’s not like I don’t have sex with Javi when you’re not around … it’s not like we don’t have sex when he isn’t.”
“I know,” Katie sighs. “But it’s …”
You know what she can’t bring herself to say. It’s the first time Javi and Katie had sex and you weren’t there, something that was bound to happen sooner rather than later. And yes, you were scared of it, at least to an extent, scared of them discovering they don’t need you around at all, scared to become the third member of a pair. By the looks of it, Katie was also nervous about this moment, about your reaction to it.
Your reaction is not what you had expected it to be.
“What was it like?” you ask, leaning in so closely you can feel her nervously exhaling.
“What?” she asks, her breathless voice not so different from what she might have sounded like in Javi’s office today.
“Go on,” you say, kissing her neck right where you can see her pulse quiver, “tell me.”
You feel her swallow hard beneath a second kiss. “I …”
It’s such a rare thing for Katie to be at a loss for words. It’s such a rare thing for you to have the upper hand. You grab her jaw, move her head, so more of her neck is exposed, and relish her sharp intake of breath. She shifts against the kitchen counter, her hands searching for purchase, as you kiss her skin softly, slowly, trying to show her that there is no reason at all to be nervous about your reaction, no reason to be ashamed about letting your boyfriend fuck her.
“There isn’t much to tell,” she finally says, a rasp in her voice. “It’s not like we planned for it to happen … it just did.”
You nip at a tendon in her neck. “How did it happen, Katie?”
You using her name like that makes her tremble. “He wanted to see me about some reports that had been misfiled.” She groans as soon as the words are out of her mouth. And you know what she’s thinking – there are sexier ways to tell this story. You let go of her jaw, place your hand on her naked thigh just below the hem of her skirt, and stroke her lightly.
“Was he very angry at you for misfiling those reports?” you tease, unable to stop yourself from smiling against her neck.
An airy laugh escapes her throat and you feel her relax against the kitchen counter. “I would never misfile anything. It was someone else.”
“And did you tell him that?” you ask automatically, feeling lightheaded from breathing in Katie’s perfume, lightheaded from the happiness you’re feeling right this very moment.
“I did, and he …,” She giggles when your fingers on her thigh brush against a ticklish spot. “… He looked at me with that funny look he always gets when someone tells him he’s wrong.”
You know that look all too well, the furrowed brow, the slightly parted lips, as his brain is trying to process what he has just heard. Katie has her eyes closed now, as if she’s right back there with Javi in his office. She shakes back her hair, her dark curls tumbling down her back, and you kiss your way along her jaw, toward her lips.
“He …,” she clears her throat, “he walked around his desk, past me, and shut the door. I vividly remember the sound of the lock snapping shut because it was so quiet after that. And it was clear I wasn’t leaving until we had resolved the issue.”
“Do you think,” you start between kissing her chin and the corners of her mouth, “that the whole thing was just an excuse to get you to come to his office?”
Katie laughs again and your heart summersaults. It’s your favorite sound in the world. “No, he had the reports right there on his desk.”
You huff in disappointment.
“But I’m sure he knew I hadn’t been the one to misfile them,” she adds.
You want to kiss her so badly but you know it would break the tension between you. And you would be giving her what she wants without her having given you anything so far. With a heavy heart you draw back, even remove your hand from her thigh, and lean against the counter. She opens her eyes, the lids fluttering with confusion.
“What happened then, Katie?”
You watch as a flush creeps up her neck and into her cheeks. “He came closer to me again, still asking about those reports.”
“And you …?”
“I was also focused on the reports.” The sly grin on her lips tells a different tale.
“I’m starting to think nothing happened after all,” you say, mirroring Javi in her story, stepping in front of her so she’s trapped between your body and the kitchen counter.
Katie’s sly grin grows wider. “Oh, you’re mistaken.”
“Then why not just tell me?” you ask. You pop open the highest button on her blouse, revealing some of that flushed skin.
Katie lowers her eyes to your hand hovering above the next button. Doubt flickers across her face before she answers, “It really wasn’t all that interesting.”
The next button comes undone, and now you can see the top of one of her black, lacy bras. You wonder if you’re the second person to see it today. “I still don’t quite understand how you got from talking about those reports to …” You’re absent-mindedly tracing the outline of one of Katie’s breasts over her blouse, and before you can finish the sentence, she suddenly flinches.
“Please.” Her whimper sets the base of your spine on fire.
You cup her breast, not surprised to find her nipple rock-hard beneath your fingers. “Quid pro quo, Katie,” you whisper into her ear.
“Okay.” Katie exhales shakily, but you still notice how she straightens her back just a tiny bit so your fingers come a tiny bit closer to squeezing her nipple. “He kept going on about those stupid reports and I began to feel frustrated because he didn’t believe me. So finally, I snapped, ‘This isn’t about those reports at all, is it?’ And he just stood there, right in front of me, and I could watch the penny drop.”
You reward Katie by squeezing her breast, rolling her clothed nipple between your thumb and forefinger. She rewards you with a strangled moan.
“I don’t know if it was all a set-up or if he really had no idea what he was doing,” Katie goes on, “but the next thing I knew he had his hand wrapped around my wrist, and my wrist pinned to his desk behind me, and he said, ‘You should be more careful how you talk to me’.”
You kiss her neck, just below her ear. “Did that turn you on?”
“Yes,” she admits breathlessly, and you have to fight hard to keep down a whimper. “But we were in his office and I … I didn’t think … we had never …”
No, of course they hadn’t. They didn’t want to start any rumors about Javi cheating on you with the new, pretty girl at the office. But you also didn’t want them to hold back on your account. You let go of Katie’s breast just to place your hand back on her thigh, your fingers brushing her skin under her skirt, higher than they had been before.
“What did you tell him?” you ask, feeling as if you’re right there with them in Javi’s office. If you focus, you can even smell the cigarette smoke on her.
“He … I …,” Katie stammers, then bites her lip as your fingers brush the inside of her thigh. “I told him I’m going to talk to him whichever damn way I please if he keeps accusing me of lying. And then …” She’s bright red now, a sheen of sweat is covering her brow. “And then he …” She swallows. “He pushed his hand beneath my skirt and right between my legs and when he pulled it back out, his fingers were … they were coated …”
Your fingers are right there too, brushing up against her underwear, then pushing the fabric aside to find her soaked. She moans loudly at your touch, right into your ear, and when you pull away her eyes widen in protest until she sees it's to show her how wet she is for you.
“Did you make the same pretty sounds for him?” you ask.
She shakes her head. “I couldn’t. He … he was kissing me.”
“Was he now?” You kiss the corner of her mouth, and her hand flies up to wrap itself around your arm. You kiss the other corner and she squeezes.
“God,” she groans. “What more do you want from me?”
“The whole story.” You kiss the tip of her nose. “Every.” You kiss her temple. “Little.” You kiss her cheek. “De -” Before you can finish, she has the collar of your shirt bunched up in her first, and her lips are on yours, hungrily taking and taking and taking. You push up against her until your bodies are molded together by forces much stronger than you. You feel her shake against you, you feel mounting pressure between your legs, you feel her tongue brush up against yours like she hasn’t kissed you in years. All you can think about is grabbing her hand and shoving it down your pants but … not yet.
You push yourself off her and she immediately follows, so you grab her hair at the back of her neck and pull her back. “Come on, tell me the rest.”
Fire flickers in her eyes for a brief moment as she considers protest, rebellion even, but then she realizes there’s no use. You have the upper hand. “There isn’t much … I don’t know …,” she says between deep breaths. “It all happened so fast.”
Your lips are back on her neck as you kiss a trail toward her chest, toward the skin you exposed there earlier. When you cup and squeeze one of her breasts lightly, she arches her back.
“The reports, they … he just pushed everything off his desk,” Katie continues. “I think I … I flinched because it sounded so loud, I was sure someone would come … or maybe I should’ve thought that, I don’t know. I don’t remember, I just remember him lifting me onto the table.”
You reward Katie by reaching under her skirt and pressing two fingers against her clothed clit. She presses herself into the touch, rolls her hips, her eyes firmly closed now.
“He just … his pants were undone, he pushed them halfway down his thighs, I was shoving my skirt higher up. He … he didn’t even take off … he just pushed my underwear aside and then he was inside of me.”
Now you do whimper at that image, as you think of Javi’s naked butt, his tie that is coming undone, of Katie’s feet wrapped around his waist, only one still stuck in a shoe, of them both eagerly pushing and pulling at each other.
Katie opens her eyes and looks at you, waiting for your next question. It doesn’t come to you; you have no idea what else you could ask, your brain preoccupied with what she has told you already, your body preoccupied with screaming for release. Her hand finds its way past the waistband of your trousers, between your legs, and now it’s your turn to lean into her touch. She doesn’t tease, pushes past the waistband of your underwear too, and makes you tremble with her fingers on your clit. You’re soaked, you know you are, and it doesn’t seem to surprise her. She just rolls your clit beneath her fingers, mimics your movements between her own legs. When you slow down, she slows down, when you push the tip of your finger inside of her, she does the same. It’s utter bliss and torturous hell at the same time, and if you’re not careful, you won’t get to hear how the story ends.
You grab her wrist, pull her hand out of your pants. “Later,” you say, kissing the tip of each of her fingers, tasting yourself on her skin.
“He put his palm over my mouth,” Katie continues, “because I couldn’t keep quiet.” Her eyes are bright and shiny with arousal and they don’t leave yours for a second. “I had my hands on his shoulders, I was … he kept pushing me up the table with each thrust. I could hear the drawers rattle. It was … I think we were too loud.”
“But that’s how you like it, isn’t it?” you tease, pushing two fingers into her at the same time.
“Yes,” she moans so loudly you can probably hear it floating out of the open kitchen window and down onto the busy street below. “But he was so quiet. Just a few grunts. I wanted to hear him, I … But before I could do anything, I was …”
Now she averts her gaze, and you see the tips of her ears turn pink.
“He just … God,” she groans, and you’re not sure if it’s because you hit that spot inside of her or because of the memories. “He let go of my mouth and kissed me and called me his good girl.”
“You are a good girl, Katie,” you tell her and kiss her sweaty brow. “You’re always so good for us.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” she curses, gripping your shoulders. She’s about to come, you can feel it, you can hear it in the way she pants, so you slow down. She whines, a sound that happens completely involuntarily, but she doesn’t complain.
“What about Javi?” you ask, your voice quiet now. You can feel your mouth go dry, and you’re not quite sure why.
“He pulled out and lifted me off the table. I thought we were done.” Somewhere between those pants there’s an airy giggle. “We weren’t.”
“Of course you weren’t,” you say, and kiss her brow again.
“He turned me around, pinned one of my wrists to my back. I could feel him shove my skirt back up my hips, and then he …” Her breath hitches.
“You’re saying the words this time, Katie.” You brush your palm softly against her clit.
With a steady voice, she says, “He pushed into me, then pushed my chest down onto the desk.”
You feel her flutter around your fingers at that memory, and your body responds with an aching emptiness of its own. “Did he come inside of you?” you ask.
She nods.
“Say it,” you demand.
“He fucked me in that position but it didn’t take long. He … It was just a few thrusts and then he was coming.”
“What did it feel like?”
Her eyes widen as she stares at you, shock and arousal lighting up her eyes.
“What did it feel like,” you repeat, “knowing anyone could have walked in on you at any time?”
“Please,” Katie whimpers, pushing down onto your fingers with trembling hips.
“Tell me, and I’ll let you come.”
She’s so fucking close, you can feel her tighten around your fingers. But she nods and licks her lips. “Liberating,” she says, and you know exactly what she means. “I came again when I felt him come inside of me, when he finally let go and swore and gripped me tighter. I could hear voices outside on the corridor, and he could hear them too, and he thrust up into me a few more times to get me to make some sounds. He …”
You’re so close to Katie now you’re practically straddling her leg. She holds you close with a hand on your hip.
“Please let me come.”
When you had woken up this morning, there had been a nagging unease in one of the chambers of your heart, one you couldn’t quite explain. Now, in the evening, you’re not only able to name it, you see it was entirely unfounded.
When Katie comes, she holds your gaze, encourages you to rub yourself against her thigh. She makes the prettiest sounds, whispers your name. Kisses you.
Nothing has changed.
You’re still trembling against her when her breathing is calm again, you’re still swallowing hard when she is fixing her skirt and buttoning up her blouse. Then she moves you so your back is against the kitchen counter, and kisses you slowly, putting everything she can’t say into the way her lips move across yours.
“You’re both always so quiet when you watch me come,” she whispers into your ear, and now it’s your turn to feel your cheeks heat up. “Let’s see if I can make you let yourself go.” She bites your bottom lip, then sinks down onto her knees in front of you, pulling your pants and underwear with her.
And just when she places your leg around her shoulders and licks through your wetness, you hear the key turn in the lock.
***
triumvirate taglist: @1andthesame | @acdeaky | @bangaveragewhitewine | @batdarkladyvampir | @beskarprincessjenny
@chippedowlmug | @darksber | @darnitdraco | @deliriouslybewitching | @desir-ae
@dobbyjen | @fireproofmarta | @for-my-satisfaction | @girlbossnancy | @jennaispunk
@jettia | @justanotherblonde23 | @kirsteng42 | @knivesareout | @lavenderluna10
@lawfulgranola | @letaliabane | @lexloon | @lovesbiggerthanpride | @nembees
@omgreally | @paintlavillered | @pedropascalsx | @pedrostories | @pennyserenade
@phoenixhalliwell | @pilothusband | @rebel-fanfare | @reluctantlyresponsibleadult | @skyshipper
@spacenerdpascal | @tacticalsparkles | @tae27 | @the-blind-assassin-12 | @theorganasolo
@thesmutslut | @trickstersp8
javier peña taglist: @almodovarispunk | @burdenedwithchaos | @cjillian97 | @daimyosprincess | @giggly-otter
@hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmsstuff | @mandalaur | @pookipedia | @sin-djarin | @welcometoshiphell
perma taglist: @alexturner | @amneris21 | @din-jarhead | @harriedandharassed | @martellthemandalor
@nobodys-baby-now | @od-ends | @pedrorascal | @radiowallet-writes | @xoxabs88xox
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songtwo · 2 months
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idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..
#it’s been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until today….#and it’s like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop#but on the other hand i can’t just abandon him#and it’s like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him#and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didn’t do anything to me and i can’t really explain it but he just wasn’t himself#and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week#it’s been like 5 times since december#but 3 have been on the past month alone#and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident#and like i’m not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved#and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldn’t be w him if it kept happening#and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again#by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive#and like. idk what to do#i really don’t want to be w someone like this#and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i don’t want this i hate feeling like this#but i also can’t abandon him#like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldn’t feel good leaving him alone#but like i don’t want to live like this#maybe i’ll ask for some time to just figure things out#but it’s gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg#i don’t wanna leave but i don’t want things to be like this either#and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk#i just don’t know what to do#i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i can’t abandon him:(#and our 1.5 anniversary was also next week…..#but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now
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enbyblades · 11 months
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my official rotb review:
okay
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bangcakes · 4 months
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.
#personal#..... im just gonna have to be patient NDNDNDNNDD#and tbh im lucky to even be feeling this way. like i never in a million years would think this would happen to me#like JDJDJDJDJJDJD god. idk idk#we defs like. were buds at that dinner. like he was near me the whole time. like i left a lil earlier and he was right behind me NDJDJDJJDJ#got to sit next to each other.... and like. god.... idk this was like movie shit#when i got there...... it was super early okay. i get anxious about being late (and ok i also know he has a tendency to be early)#so i pull into a spot n im waiting there#this car that looked like his pulled into the spot almost in front of me#n im like is that him ????? like wouldnt that be so fucjin funny#then the light in the car goes on and im like OH IT LOOKS LIKE HIM???? but then i was like eh it could be anyone#so im like okay whatever. if its him. he'll get out eventually#so the guy gets out if the car right and LMAO IT WAS HIM AHAHAHAHAHHAHA#so i get out of my car and like theres so many cars going past us so i walk a lil ahead#and then i look back and meet eyes with him n im like#OH SO IT WAS YOU#and he was like. YA. I WAVED AT YOU#and i was like I DIDN'T SEE IT. then we talked about something else#and then i was like..... was the light on when you waved tho#and he was like... i think so???? GOD. LMAO. THIS IS WHY ITS GONNA TAKE US 800000 YEARS#so anyway. its only us two there and we're walking toward the restaurant and im like oh should we go in. n hes like ya#so we do.... and god lmao being there with him... going up to ask for our reservation. i was like WHAT KIND OF DATE SITUATION?????#LIKE IT WASNT. BUT I WAS LIKE DJDJJDJDJDJD OH THIS IS. WHAT ITD FEEL LIKE HUH. GOD.#n e way we had to wait forever for the table n for other ppl to show up.#then when we were finally sat... he was right near me. like not the chair directly in front of me. but tge one adjacent#so i got to talk to him all night !!!@ and like there were some awkward times of silence but JDJDJJD IDK. WE WERE EATING.#and like there were other people at the table too and i didnt wanna just be asking him questions NDJDNDJJDJDJ#n e way. he was cuter and taller than i remembered. he had me dying laughing at some points. i still like him so much NDJDJDJDNJDJD#im in so much trouble......... like will i ever be okay again
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UCLA (like many footages I've seen of people being un-masked by fascist Amerikkkan cops are being revealed all over mainstream news media). I do not have doubts that we will continue to protect protesters/the people in our community that are showing up for Palestine, but someone asked me to take down or blur the image I screenshot below of this violent event.
I made an update earlier about how easily this can get circulated online even if people are blurring, because unfortunately, western mainstream media is complicit. When things like this happen, it can spread like wildfire on social media. This video alone has been viewed over eight million times on Twitter, and although I do blurring on my own tiktok page whenever I talk about parent tok, I do understand where they are coming from. So moving forward I will make sure that I I'm careful about this and be more respectful and sensitive. Or just talk about it instead of sharing footage altogether.
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Here is also what I originally included in response to seeing this video:
This is excessive use of force and violence and is a huge abuse of power. The cops don't protect -they CRIMINALIZE. This makes me sick to my stomach.
Long live the resistance.
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anaalnathrakhs · 1 month
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it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.
mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.
#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD.#EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY#OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH#i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion''#they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them#so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child#they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table#just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase#i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either?#i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them.#i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to.#but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset#quiet at home#and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places#and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway?#keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine?#try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened?#i dont know how to live like a normal person#literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X.#go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book.#because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped.#everything hurts holy shit#broadcasting my misery#vent#ed tw
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lnkedmyheart · 9 months
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Not ya'll coming into the skk tags to bitch at skk stans about kunikidazai being in the trenches.
How about ya'll learn some decency and keep your aggressive ass bitchiness in YOUR tags and quit trying to police what and how fans feel over important panels missing. Its giving very "you shouldn't be sad cause kids don't have food and water". Like dude, do you wanna talk about how much bones screwed over skk??? Anime onlys legitimately think those two despise each other. Like do you wanna start a fucking oppression olympics over a fucking non canon ship dynamic?
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allofuswantgwinam · 5 months
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I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it
#barely#im learning to lean on the people that care about me#i even cried on my mom tonight and i hate crying in front of people 😭😭#and it’s always been hard for me in general to talk to my mom especially but I’m learning to trust her and grow from our past#all that cheese and mushy shiz yeah yeah#work was insane tn and i was not prepared at all#i almost had a meltdown too but i kept it together and that’s when I called my co worker and she saved my ass#and my other coworker was trying to help me too that was off and was literally gonna leave her house to help me 🥺🥺🥺#it was just so bad fr#and my hours switching has been a twist for me too which happened to be a factor of today#but I made shit work but it still also was a mess at the same time lmao#it was a crazy ass day and I’m just glad it’s over now#a lot of good things happened today but the bad was bad#im just glad I didn’t hold in my feelings and was also not too prideful to ask for help#im drinkin my wine and hittin my pen bc fuck the cold I’ll just be a vape god for now#that was kinda cringe but I’m drunk so don’t take me seriously besides the parts of this that are my feelings 🤣#also got a card from one of my coworkers and my boss with a Starbucks gift card 🫶🏼 I was so surprised#that mfer wrote ‘crazy lady’ on the envelope 🙃🙃🤣🤣#funniest guy I know right there lmao#we have too much fun and he only works like once a week bc he’s like 40 or 50 something with a million different jobs bc he’s the crazy one#today was a roller coaster basically 🤣🤣 but i did the shit and somehow managed to keep shit together#im just ready for the holidays to be over so work can not be super busy anymore#but i am excited for the holidays it’s gonna be amazing i think 🫶🏼 not gonna be hung up on fake love this time and will be able to enjoy it#fully#for the first time in too long#last Christmas was so bad it makes me sick thinking about it#fuck that guy so much#just realizing this was amazing wow#so hype to have a clear and free mind this holiday without our ‘relationship’ looming over me#proud of me for multiple things rn 🥹
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imnotfinebutimfine · 7 months
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It's so exhausting being a person who loves people in a world where people keep senselessly hurting each other
I'm not going to stop loving people and I'm not going to lose my optimism, but god some people make it so hard
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murcielagatito · 1 year
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just wrote the shittiest like 600 word prompt like bitch if i actually wrote this fic i could probably get a couple ks outta it but i suck at this shit so bad
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