Hi hi hi hello, coming in with number 7 (party/museum/wedding) for the FMK alts, for Novhen, Shale, and Morrigan :D

Oh wow! You cannot take Shale to any of those! I feel like the party might be the least disastrous option. I'm not much of a partygoer myself, so when she inevitably starts a scene, it'll be a convenient way to excuse myself and leave before i robbed of every morsel of energy i went in with. If the party has a grind pit, she might just leave in disgust immediately, but hey! Saves me from that shit!

And i really, really want to take Novhen to a museum, but Morrigan seems too risky a +1 for a wedding. So Morri to the museum it is! It could be interesting. I'm not really sure if she'd like my favorite exhibits, but i have a healthy enough love of art and history to get excited about whatever she shows interest in. I'd bet she'd take great pleasure in finding an exhibit, scoffing, and then tearing apart what blatant propaganda it is. Shit, is this museum in Thedas or our world? Either way, i'm sure one of use will have plenty to say

Really, Novhen was always the only sane choice for a wedding. He can be polite and knows (and cares!) how to not embarrass everyone, and he's been to so many weddings at this point, he knows the whole song and dance. It'll be only an hour into the reception, and he'll already have the drunkenly spilled secrets of every extended family member and invitations to 3 recitals. The bus ride home will be absolutely dripping with gossip

[Ask Game]

AU Prompt #6 💓♪

Time slowed to a full stop around you as you focused, the chaos surrounding the silver tree all brought to a halt. Not even Pure Vanila Cookie or White Lily Cookie could move a singular fiber of their being. Such is the perks of having Dungeon Master Cookie as your patron. And, speaking of your patron, she stared down at you with her huge, white eyes. " So, the seal upon the silver tree has broken, thus releasing the five Fallen Heroes into the land of Earthbread once more. Now, Reader Cookie, I suspect you want to do something before I have you roll initiative, yes?" " That's correct, Dungeon Master Cookie." You reply, staring up at the holy, towering figure. However all the seriousness of this moment was thrown out of the window with a few, simple words. " I'd like to roll to seduce the Jester." Your patron seemed... unamused? Yet also as if she were expecting this. After all you did the exact same thing with Dark Enchantress Cookie, but that was just for the funny(plus, you got a nat1 that time). You were completely serious about attempting to woo Shadow Milk Cookie, maybe even another one of the Beasts if they showed themselves. " Are- Are you seriously doing this again?" She asked exasperatedly, to which you eagerly nodded. With a sigh and a wave of her hand, a D20 appeared in your arms. " Fine, fine, give me a Charisma check." And once again, fate blesses you. With a natural 20. " ... NAT 20 LET'S GOOOOO!!!!" You can feel the tired aura from Dungeon Master Cookie. " Alright, alright... I'll let you have this." She sighed as the world faded back into motion. You stood tall and proud next to Pure Vanilla Cookie + Gingerbrave and Friends before you stepped forwards. You're pretty sure that you gave PV war flashbacks with the expression on your face. " Reader Cookie for the love of the Witches-" He attempted to plead, but it was already far too late. " Shadow Milk Cookie, hm?" You began, your tone flirty as it always was when you did shit like this. " What a fine name for such a clearly ever so powerful cookie~" You hummed flirtatiously, batting your eyelashes at the gigantic jester before you. " Oh?" Shadow Milk Cookie hummed, leaning down to get a better look at you. " My my! I didn't think I had such an adoring fan of mine waiting for me here~!" He chirped, a subtle yet bright blue hue taking over his face. " Lord have mercy on us all..." Pure Vanilla Cookie mumbled to himself almost desperately. If both you and Shadow Milk Cookie are flirts... then you'll probably be here, locked in a battle of the heart for a while.

....

Or, You, Reader Cookie, have a Patron named Dungeon Master Cookie. Cue DnD shenanigans brought to the world of Cookie Run. And of course, the natural chaos a nat20 brings when you decide to flirt with the bbeg of the current adventure.

Brad Wayne vs….. Gotham Rogues!!!!

We must preface this by saying Brad Wayne has only ever rolled either nat20s or nat1s in charisma, 80% for nat 20s and the other 20% being nat 1s.

The Riddler to no surprise hates him, Brad doesn’t even care, he still is waiting for the Riddler to tell him the answer like it’s a joke. He infamously was on live tv with Riddler holding him hostage, the catch?

He was just let go, like he himbo’s himself outta there. So the thing is Brad Wayne doesn’t even realize that he gets kidnapped or held hostage, and it drives the rogues nuts™️. Because it’s hit or miss as to whether he plays into their gimmick, on this occasion he missed by a mile.

So the Riddler doin his thing, giving riddles and was pulling out a long-ass riddle for the live broadcast. But Brad just keeps interrupting his riddle.

“Bro a ghast can’t walk backwards man???”

and

“DUDE, that reminds me of a my bro from this party, that tried to do a flip-”

Best part you ask? Batman, Robin, and Nightwing are in the background of the cast as it happens. The Riddler loses the hat, he just is pissed 😤

He’s all like: “SHuT uP! Just be a normal fucking *mic peak* hostaaaagggeeeeee!”

Brad is so fucking confused like, why was this dude losing his ball sack???

10 fandoms/10 characters/10 tags

I was tagged by @marypsue to name ten characters from ten fandoms, and then tag ten people to do the same. She listed out some of her favorite characters from various fandoms over the year, and it got me thinking about some of mine!

So, in no particular order:

1. Ezra Bridger, Star Wars Rebels

2. Ryou Bakura, Yu-Gi-Oh

3. Katara, Avatar the Last Airbender

4. Carlos the Scientist, Welcome to Nightvale

5. Agnes Montague, The Magnus Archives

6. Juno Steele, The Penumbra Podcast

7. Hawks, My Hero Academia

8. Spitfire, The Hatchetfield Universe

9. Dick Grayson, Batman

10. Max, Black Sails

I am tagging @little-engineer-who-cant @the-other-engineer-who-cant @threedaybreakdown @howlittleweare @kittythelitter @snarky-wallflower @starpirateee @nat1-charisma @aether-wasteland-s @inprisonforsparkling and of course, anyone else who thinks it looks fun!

The most hilarious thing happened in one of my Dungeons and Dragons games the other day, and I wanna share it.

So, I play an Apothecary Wizard in one of my dnd games. She makes and sells potions, medicines, alcohol, and the occasional Geneva Convention violation called Alchemist's Fire. Anyway, one of the things I always ask my DMs when making a character is if I can get a free Musical Instrument proficiency since I like the idea of it, probably because I want to learn how to play someday.

So anyway, my Wizard knows how to play the lute, and since she's a saleswoman, she has the Charisma to back it up...except for this instance. I hadn't started with a lute, but over the course of several session found myself in possession of an incredibly out of tune lute that a cultist had just happened to have. So she picks up the lute and plucks a few strings and learns that this bandit must have just had this lute for show or something, because it's TERRIBLY out of tune. So the DM has me roll to tune it... Natural 1. For the next 30 minutes OOC and several hours in game, I cannot. For the life of me. Tune. This. Lute. I legitimately make like, 10 rolls and never roll above a 5. This is an INTELLIGENCE Performance Check, since it's technical, I am a WIZARD, with a 20 intelligence, and proficiency. I have a +8 to this roll, and the DC is

14.

Eventually I have to stop trying because we get into combat with more crazy cultists, but OOC I am gobsmacked, and IC my Wizard is absolutely INCENSED at this friggin' untunable lute.

Anyway, some fighting happens, and eventually I'm cornered by a Fire Genasi Cultist who is hopped up on energy from the Plane of Fire, so is currently immune to Fire Damage, the one damage type I have as a cantrip, and I'm trying to not use my spell slots on the little guys because we all know there's a boss battle at the end of this cave.

So I'm stuck. Embers McHotPants is in melee range, so my Firebolt, on top of not actually doing any damage to him, would be at disadvantage, even if I tried to hit someone not currently immune to fire. I'm a squishy wizard with not so great AC, so running away and possibly getting hit with an AOO is not attractive. Could I have disengaged? Maybe if I hadn't had an amazing idea first.

Me: I hit him with the lute.

DM: What?

Me: The Lute. The infernal instrument cursed to never be in tune. I hit him with the lute.

DM: Riiight, okay. Roll improvised weapon attack.

(For clarity, my Wizard has an 8 strength, and is not proficient with improvised weapons.)

Me: *rolls d20, then starts laughing*

DM: Did you roll another Nat1?

Me: *still laughing* No!

At this point the entire table is laughing but the DM.

DM: You didn't.

Me: *unable to speak, I just nod*

I had rolled a nat20, (19 total) to hit the guy with the lute.

At first the DM looked just plain flabbergasted, but then he got this look on his face, a kind of half smile, and started describing what happened.

DM: Alright, so you find yourself cornered. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and this cultist is utterly immune to your attacks. It's just so...frustrating. Frustrating like that damn lute that you just couldn't tune. You feel your frustration boil over, and you just grab the lute by the neck and swing it! You hear a discordant BWANGGGG! as you smack the cultist upside the head with the head with the lute. And maybe he was more hurt than you thought, or maybe he just had a glass jaw, but he goes down. As the cultist falls, you relax a bit, lowering the lute, which somehow isn't broken, and you pluck a few strings absent-mindedly, and...you can't believe your ears. The lute is perfectly in tune. You've heard professionally tuned instruments that aren't as perfectly tuned as this instrument.

The table EXPLODED. It was pandemonium. My PC had hit the cultist in such a way that it tuned the untunable lute. There was laughter, tears, and celebration. It was amazing. I was laughing so hard I cried and gave myself hiccups.

what other people see as we're leaving the village to go on a dangerous rescue mission

what you (a villager) see when you're suspicious of me (a stranger) to begin with and I roll a nat20 intimidation check and you roll a nat1 charisma save

so now you're kinda convinced that your siblings are traveling with a fucking deity or eldritch being or something

Hiiii I noticed you use a lot of DnD terminology for your posts (especially when you're talking about Vi's terrible luck in the Special Editions haha) What do they mean?

Hi ye haha so uh I'm not exactly a D&D player (tho I really wanna play a game at some point), but I have been dabbling into the fandom and picked up some of the terms in the process. Putting this out there because I could be totally wrong about them for all I know :D

OKAY SO

skill check: these things happen very frequently, and it's just a check to see if your character is successful or unsuccessful at something. Sounds simple, but it's basically what allows D&D to function as a game.

d20: a 20-sided die. The most commonly used die in D&D, and is usually the one used in skill checks. (That's why Critical Role and a lot of D&D YouTube channels used the intricate hexagonal shape as a logo-- that's a d20 being implemented into a logo). Usually, the higher the number, the more successful you are in performing a task.

nat20/nat1: The "nat" means "natural", meaning no modifiers or additions were made to your roll to get that number. nat20 means you rolled a 20 on your die, which is normally the most successful a roll you can get-- if you rolled for your success in climbing a rock cliff, a nat20 means you're climbing like those pro rock climbers. In contrast, a nat1 is the lowest roll you can get (literally a 1), and thus your attempt at whatever task you're rolling for is a critical failure-- if we're using the rock climbing analogy, then either you're too weak/heavy to even push yourself off the ground, or you just.... slip and fall down and maybe break your back on the pavement. Depends on the DM, really.

DM or Dungeon Master/Game Master: Basically the role Matthew Mercer plays in Critical Role, if you know that show. Since D&D is a tabletop RPG, you need someone to lay out the scene for you, what world you're playing in, what's going on, what your characters are doing; and also supervise the players at the table so no one is up to any bullshnit. The DM is the one doing all that :D from the worldbuilding to the NPCs to asking for skill checks-- that's the DM's role in the game.

Campaign: the adventure the DM is running/making for the table of players :D technically TV shows could be campaigns if you squint.

Session: If an adventure is like a TV show, a session is like an episode. It's a moment where everyone involved in a certain campaign sits down and do D&D campaign stuff for as long as the session lasts. (I'm seeing in my research that 4 hours is the average time a session can last, but it could be longer.)

[insert thing] check: No skill check is made equal, and thus there are different skill checks with different names. No worries, you still roll them with a d20, the only difference is what you're rolling for. So if I say "X succeeds/fails at a [capitalized term] check", that's what that is.

(This next bit is basically a look into uh skill check things that I may or may not mention once or twice or maybe seven times in my rambles lmao)

Stats: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. (Disclaimer: Intelligence is not like IQ intelligence in D&D; it's more the pop culture interpretation of intelligence, aka how much of a nerd you are and how much of the Bee Movie script you've memorized /j)

Constitution: Constitution refers to your general health. How healthy is your body? How much health do you have? How good are you at holding your liquor? If you get sick, how long are you Peter-Griffined for? How far can you run without starting to wheeze like an asthmatic? That stuff is up to your Constitution.

Perception: How much information a character peeps from something at a first glance, aka how much of the things in a room (for example) do you notice subconsciously as you're maybe walking in and seeing it for the first time. Perception is a Wisdom-based check.

Investigation: If Perception is how much you peep at a first glance, Investigation is how much you gather from actually searching. This is the one the girls do the most basically-- it's pretty much their bread and butter :3 (it's an Intelligence-based check)

Dexterity: The stat Vi keeps flubbing for some reason /j In all seriousness, Dexterity as a stat means reaction time, hand-eye coordination, flexibility, balance, and stuff like that. Stuff like Acrobatics, Stealth, and Sleight of Hand are Dexterity-based checks.

Athletics: Exactly what it says on the tin. Athletics checks take a peek at your strength, speed, and other athletic thingies to see if you're sprinting like an Olympian track runner or tripping over your robes and faceplanting into the floor. The only Strength-based check iirc

Persuasion: A Charisma check, and is also exactly what it says on the tin, but it can be interpreted.... a lot of different ways. Whether it's putting that persuasive speaking lessons you had in high school, or uh bringing your horny fantasies to life-- as long as you're attempting to persuade someone, that's a Persuasion check.

Intimidation: When you t-pose on someone, how much do you assert dominance? Do you assert it so much that they're begging for their life and willing to do whatever you tell them? Depends on your Charisma and your d20.

I think those are the ones I typically use? Lemme know if I missed one haha

DnD session summary:

My players successfuly returned to working on their quest. After forgetting about it existed. Sweet.

Achlis still can't cook anything. She (again) got a 2 on making tea.

Achlis finaly managed to use wildshape. (Daniel deer)

Her fellow party members wanted to ride on her. Rieka and Adreanna proceeded to fall off her back.

Rieka used her amazing bard charisma, rolling a nat20 while adding a +7 modifier to it into persuation. 27!!!!

Achlis got nat1 on wildshape. Twice. She un-shifted everything in mile radius. Including lunch that Adreanna cooked.

Rieka rolled a nat20 on not falling asleep while being on guard.

"Not that just Rieka didn't fall asleep while on guard and stayed awake for rest of the night. She entered a whole new state of consciousness."

-me, the dungeon master

"Don't give me a middle finger, kid. It's rude."

-me, dungeon master, when Adreanna's younger brother gave me one

Sheduling - the real big bad villain of Dungeons and Dragons, the nightmare of Dungeon Masters and Game Masters all around the world, the monster that scares even the thougest players and breaks even the most unbreakable fellowships.

"You underestimate our ability to not move from the proximity of Neverwinter." - My players, probably

"You know how to defeat your big bad guy? Bathe him in Achlis' tea" - me, the dungeon master

"How's the tavern called?" - Rieka's player

"UHHHHHHHMMMMMM......Dancing Pony?" - me, the doomed dungeon master

Rieka's player: @gay-arsonists-lullaby

rewatching scarecrow and I just love how dean keeps rolling nat1 on charisma.

What the fandom things philza minecraft is like:

Vs what he is actually cannonly:

immages edited by the amazing @nat1-charisma

after literally three years (with a hiatus begun by the pandemic and continued because of Adulthood) the og homebrew dnd game, first 5e game and first long campaign I ever played

has returned

The Goslings are back, we have found a dragon horde and left a note to the dragons (who were not home) apologizing for messing with their stuff, Joseph tried to use divine sense (an ability he has to roll a luck check for because his charisma is -1) and got a nat1, fuck you too Inos, Spike actually had Good Ideas and was very proud of himself, and I am just

god i have missed these kids so much, we're gonna aim for at least once a month and i am so happy to be playing again, joseph is my wonderful little guy who is absolutely terrible at his job and really doesn't want dragons to come after him and his friends workplace proximity associates

THEY BACK

My Terrible First Impressions that I would Use on the Batchelor

The basket of limes pick up line: walks out of the limo with a basket of limes, trips and then continuously drops limes as I try to pick them up, apologizes profusely and says "Sorry I'm bad at pickup limes."

Brings a large D20, probably a stuffed or blow up version, and rolls the dice as I get out of the limo. When I step out and he inevitably asks "what?" I tell him it was my charisma check. And honestly knowing me I would've rolled a nat1.

Honestly just trip then finger-gun my way out of it, maybe say something cheesy like "I've been tripping over myself with the idea of meeting you."

Here's the kicker and my big plot: Pull him aside immediately and tell him I'm gay. (which is true) Then tell him if he keeps me on for like half the season, just so I can enjoy the food, drinks and eye candy, I will honestly and without exaggeration tell him the truth of what happens among the women. So when one of them inevitably comes crying to him with the drama I can tell him "Oh yea, she did that, but that's only because Becky called her a sl*t" So he can go into the rose ceremony with a clear conscious.

If anyone has any other wonderfully terrible ideas for the show I would be very amused to hear them.

you ready are the multiclassing menace

technically i could make it worse if she was a swashbuckler / paladin multiclass. she has a capped dex and capped charisma and at her level her proficiency bonus is a +4. that is all to say her initiative could shake out like this:

5 dex + 5 charisma + 4 aura + 5 alert + advantage + gift of alacrity (d8, which i could still take through fey-touched without my wizzer levels) AND if she was a harengon i could add another +4 prof bonus AND if i took superior technique as my fighting style with ambush, another d6, which shakes out to

a minimum roll (two nat1s) of: 26 a maximum roll of: 57 and an average (assuming average roll on each dice; d20, d8, d6) of a whopping: 42.

to recreate this in raw you would need great stats to max out your dex and charisma, then room for two feats (alert & fey-touched), take superior technique as your fighting style FOR the BIT and to be honest, you'd have to be at least level 12 (8 paladin + 4 rogue) for this to even be feasible which would actually shake out to the current math, but assuming you were 17th level or higher, your proficiency modifier would go up by +2 skewing this up to 28/59/44.

Yellow, and then Cyan but it's been a while since we talked.

Haha yeah it has been a while but I still see you as a friend too :)

Tag Game! Rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist & post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people. If you're not on spotify, just share ten songs that you have on repeat.

I was tagged by @marypsue.

Ummmm I use spotify, but most just for writing playlists themed to specific WIPs, so have some of my themed tracks I guess!

Oceangrave - Jonathan Young and Judge & Jury

Life - The Original Cast of Starship

The Axe-Man - Corey Davis, Bryce Charles, The Original Cast of Nightmare Time

The Torture Tango - Joseph Walker, Mary Kate Wiles, Curt Mega

God of Greed - Jonathan Young

Curses - The Crane Wives

Why Keep Heaven Waiting? - Jonathan Young and Judge & Jury

Status Quo - The Original Cast of Starship

Spy Again (Reprise) - Curt Mega

Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) - Kate Bush

Can you tell I have been writing a lot of Hatchetfield stuff? (Bonus Ask Game: Ask what song if for what work in progress XD)

I am going to tag @little-engineer-who-cant @the-other-engineer-who-cant @threedaybreakdown @snarky-wallflower @starpirateee @howlittleweare @nat1-charisma @inprisonforsparkling @takingback-thepenguin @brown-sugar-licorice

Does Guzma know El's name, or did he forget to ask?

HAHA GOOD QUESTION  He knows her name, but I didnt know how to introduce it as a plot-point in the comics since that would’ve probably felt rather forced anyway.  I once was vERY TEMPTED to make a huge joke out of it in form of a comic, but then I was like “I COULD waste my time with this, or I could work on this huge story-driven comic I ACTUALLY want to work on”, so it never happened :’D

sO I GUESS HER NAME IS JUST GONNA...CASUALLY GET MENTIONED IN THE NEXT COMIC LIKE WE KNEW IT ALL ALONG THIS WHOLE TIME