#my stupid 1600 word reading list
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THE SUPERMAN STARTER READING LIST
SO – you want to read Superman comics, but you’re intimidated by the near-century of history this character has. Or, you’ve read a few comics with him, but you want to go back to the basics to understand his character and the mythology surrounding him. There are so many continuities, origin stories, and standalones – where do you start? Well…
[Image ID: a cropped edit of the Superman ‘78 #3 variant cover by Lee Weeks, showing Lois Lane sitting on the letters of the Daily Planet globe, and Clark flying above her in his Superman costume, reaching out to take her hand. Hand-written next to them is: "THE SUPERMAN STARTER READING LIST", and hand-written in the bottom right corner is: "by MYTHIC / superfam.tumblr.com". End ID.]
This list isn’t intended to be a full, comprehensive guide to Superman’s decades of history, but a curated taster of Clark Kent in the comics medium. It aims to show you a variety of interpretations from different authors of different contexts, but with the broad goal of helping newcomers understand the heart of the character. Not every comic is able to sum up all aspects of Superman, and some could be argued to miss certain points, but each one has been selected for this list for the goal of conveying the history and breadth of his interpretations.
It’s intended to be accessible to both long-dedicated comics fans and people who are new to the DC universe, or even the medium as a whole. As such, new fans are welcome to enjoy each story as a standalone interpretation.
Please understand that this list is built from my own experience with the character, and I don’t claim it to be better or worse than any other – it’s just one way to approach his history. Essentially, I’m attempting to create the sort of list I wish I had access to when first reading Superman comics. I highly encourage the reader to form their own interpretations of each work.
With all that out of the way, please enjoy!
[Image ID: An edit of Gary Frank's artwork from Superman: Secret Origin. A slightly battered Clark in his Superman outfit embraces Jimmy with his right arm and Lois with his left. All three are smiling. The background, which depicts a disaster scene and a defeated Lex Luthor chained to a building, is covered in a translucent blue overlay. Hand-written next to Clark is: "ORIGINS". End ID.]
SUPERMAN: SECRET ORIGIN #1-6 (2009-2010)
Geoff Johns & Gary Frank
Just a couple years before the 2011 reboot of the DC Universe, a new definitive origin story was created for a Superman post-Infinite Crisis (a major event which had changed the status quo of the multiverse).
Secret Origin is only six issues long, and a great, efficient introduction to Clark Kent and Superman. It focuses on telling Clark’s origins from his own perspective, as a hero but also simply as a person. It also does a good job of setting up important supporting characters including Lois, Jimmy, Perry, and Lex.
SUPERMAN: BIRTHRIGHT #1-12 (2003-2004)
Mark Waid, Leinil Francis Yu & Gerry Alanguilan
Though replaced by Secret Origin only a few years later, Birthright was written as the definitive origin story to overwrite Byrne’s 1986 reboot of the character. It was intended to bring Superman into the new century, and be more consistent with his modern interpretations. It is also influenced by the popularity of the TV series Smallville.
Birthright is longer and covers aspects of the Superman mythos in further depth, including dynamics between Clark, Lex, and the city of Metropolis, kryptonite, and Krypton in general. Due to its extended length, it also covers more on Clark’s relationship with his powers and heritage.
I highly recommend reading both modern preboot origins to experience different interpretations with different influences and intentions, even only a few years apart.
[Image ID: An edit of Tim Sale's artwork from Superman: For All Seasons. On the right, Clark lies on his bed, looking to the left with a wistful expression and with a hand on his dog curled up next to him. The background, which is his cluttered bedroom in Smallville, is overlaid with translucent grey. Hand-written to the left of Clark is: "INTROSPECTION". End ID.]
SUPERMAN SMASHES THE KLAN #1-3 (2019)
Gene Luen Yang & Gurihiru
This standalone story is set in 1946, and primarily draws upon the Golden and Silver Ages as inspiration. It’s an adaptation of an episode of The Adventures of Superman radio series, “The Clan of the Fiery Cross”, which famously dealt a major hit to the KKK’s operations in America by influencing public perceptions.
The story follows Clark as well as siblings Roberta and Tommy, two Chinese-American kids who have recently moved to the Metropolis suburbs, as they uncover and fight a local chapter of the KKK. The story explores themes of immigrant identity and self-acceptance in Clark and the kids’ narratives – it presents important concepts from Superman’s history, straight from the heart of his character, in a really effective way.
SUPERMAN: FOR ALL SEASONS #1-4 (1998)
Jeph Loeb & Tim Sale
This miniseries has four issues, each corresponding to a season and narrated by an important person in Clark’s life (in order: Jonathan ‘Pa’ Kent, Lois Lane, Lex Luthor, Lana Lang). Tim Sale’s beautifully detailed and expressive art captures the complex emotions drawn out by having your life touched by Clark Kent, which works really well with the personal, confessional style of the narration. It’s a very intimate work.
It’s a great insight into both the triumphs and very personal struggles of Clark through the inner voices of some of the most important people in his life, and captures what makes his character work really well.
FOR THE MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING (SUPERMAN (1939) ANNUAL #11) (1985)
Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
This is a single-issue annual from right before the DC universe was rebooted, and (unsurprisingly for Moore) explores some philosophical and ideological questions regarding the Man of Steel. On his ‘birthday’, Superman falls prey to an alien organism called The Black Mercy, which feeds on its victims while keeping them complacent with vivid hallucinations of their greatest desires. Clark hallucinates a still-living Krypton, which he is a part of – but perhaps not everything is perfect.
SUPERMAN: BRAINIAC (ACTION COMICS #866-870) (2008)
Geoff Johns & Gary Frank
Before retelling Superman’s beginnings in Secret Origin, Johns and Frank collaborated on this story arc which massively changes the status quo, partially by reintroducing a variety of pre-Crisis concepts including the original Brainiac and the bottled city Kandor. If you liked Secret Origin, you’ll probably like this one.
As this is our first story arc rather than self-contained story, it has more references to the ongoing continuity but is still easy enough to understand without that context. This story also prominently features Kara Zor-El as Supergirl and expands on some cosmic lore and Krypton in general.
SUPERMAN: UP IN THE SKY #1-6 (2019-2020)
Tom King & Andy Kubert
This is an accessible, self-contained exploration of the extent of Superman’s moral fibre, following Clark as he attempts to save a single girl who was abducted from Earth and taken into space. It’s quite abstract at points with the questions it asks about themes of compassion and commitment, which I think is conveyed particularly well in the panelling and artwork.
[Image ID: An edit of Frank Quitely's artwork from All Star Superman. Clark in his Superman outfit is flying with his arms outstretched. The top half of his face is cut off. The background is an abstract depiction of the heart of the sun, and has been overlaid with a translucent orange. Handwritten beneath Clark is: "INTERPRETING AND RE-INTERPRETING". End ID.]
THE K-METAL FROM KRYPTON (drafted 1940, restored 2004-2011)
Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster Studio
The K-Metal from Krypton is an unpublished and unfinished comic from 1940, written by Superman creator Jerry Siegel, and drafted by the studio of the other Superman creator, Joe Shuster. After being lost for decades, the story has slowly been recovered and restored by Superman fans.
Though this one is much more unconventional than the other items on the list, I think it’s extremely important to Superman’s history and generally understanding him as a character. It comes from a time when creative control of their character was being taken from Siegel and Shuster, and though it is unknown why this story was unpublished, that’s a major point of context to keep in mind.
This draft sets up the predecessor to kryptonite in the Superman comics – “K-Metal” – and also contains a scene where Clark reveals his identity to Lois, and they agree to be partners in helping others. This is a major departure from the status quo of Clark keeping his secret from Lois as she tries to uncover it, which would continue for the rest of the Golden and Silver Ages.
The restoration effort can be read online: http://theages.superman.nu/k-metal/splash.php
THE MAN OF STEEL #1-6 (1986)
John Byrne & Dick Giordano
This limited series is the immediate post-Crisis origin story and reinvention of Superman. It wasn’t put in the Origins section because I think from a modern perspective it shouldn’t be an introduction to Clark, but rather something you read to understand the history of his character.
It originated major changes in the Superman mythology, some of which have become instilled in it (such as Lex Luthor and Lois Lane’s modern characterisations), and others which have been forgotten or discarded.
One major thing is the great effort this origin made to make Clark American over being Kryptonian… Byrne has expressed great distaste of portrayals of Superman which emphasise his immigrant identity, and that should be kept in mind while critically reading this work.
ALL-STAR SUPERMAN #1-12 (2005-2008)
Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely
Arguably the most critically acclaimed Superman comic, this has been saved for late in the list as I believe it’s enhanced with more context of and experience with Clark. This is a series which explores the nature of storytelling and legacy, which was created with the aim of creating a timeless Superman story.
When Superman learns he will soon die, what does he reflect on? What does he change? This is heavily inspired by, and is a love letter to, Silver Age Superman.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MAN OF TOMORROW? (SUPERMAN #423 & ACTION COMICS #583) (1986)
Alan Moore, Curt Swan & George Pérez
Written in the wake of Crisis on Infinite Earths, this is another story about Superman ‘dying’, and is essentially a great mediation on and send-off to the Silver Age incarnation of the character. It refers to itself as an “imaginary” story, and can be seen as one concrete ending for this version of Clark Kent and the rest of the Superman characters, in a medium with few.
It can be found in a collection with For the Man Who Has Everything.
SUPERMAN: RED AND BLUE #1-6 (2021)
Various
To finish off our starter reading list, let’s move from Superman’s end to his future. This is an anthology of short stories from various authors and artists, exploring a spread of visions of the Man of Tomorrow.
I think it’s an appropriate end for this starter exploration of Clark Kent’s many interpretations! As with all anthologies, it has its ups and downs in quality, but as a whole I truly believe it captures the heart of this character.
Thank you for reading all this way. I really hope this reading list helps you delve into the character of Superman and inspires you to read further beyond what I’ve suggested here.
Most of all, I hope it helps at least some people grow to love Clark Kent as much as I have.
A PDF version of this reading list is available here.
#it is finally here#my stupid 1600 word reading list#if you requested suggestions then this is your fault lmao#i put all my love of clark into this#i hope its useful#and feel free to send asks with any questions i will be happy to expand#took a long time to edit my ramblings down to this stage lmao#original#reading list#supers#kal#my writing#clark kent#superman#dc#dc reading list#superman reading list#the superman starter reading list
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Over the last couple of weeks I’ve seen a marked increase in hate directed at my fellow writers of DARK fics by cowardly Anons. While each and every writer has undoubtedly held their own against the stupidity aimed at them, I have reached the point where I can no longer just Like and Reblog. So settle in and buckle up. This may be a long and bumpy ride.
1) First and foremost, YOU, AND ONLY YOU, ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CHOOSE TO CONSUME. It is not your place to decide A) What someone else writes and B) What someone else reads. I follow hundreds of Blogs on the site. The vast majority contain consensual sex, fluff, angsty etc. In other words not DARK content. Non-DARK content is incredibly easy to find. Even though DARK fics are becoming more popular they are still out numbered at least 100 to 1. You either have to be specifically looking for the DARK tag or following someone who consistently posts DARK fics to find them. So if DARK fics offend you unfollow the writer or filter out the DARK tag. If a DARK fic does somehow make its way onto your feed, be a damn adult and scroll past it. No one is standing behind you holding your eyes open making you read.
2) DARK fics are just another extension of “rape fantasy” which is a well documented (both scholarly and unscholarly) phenomenon. Rape fantasy “fics” have been found in print since at least the 1600’s. They were extremely popular during the Victorian period. In fact I’d be willing to bet that your mother, grandmother or great grandmother (depending on your age) read romance novels that, at the very least, contained dubious consent sexual situations. Do a quick search of the best selling romance books of the 70’s and 80’s. Most of them contained non-consent sexual situations. Today’s DARK fic is nothing new.
3) Rape fantasies/DARK fics have ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING TO DO WITH ACTUAL RAPE. It does not in any way, shape or form mean a person wants to be violently sexually assaulted. Nor does it mean they want any other person to be violently sexually assaulted. It’s a fantasy. Make believe.
4) DARK fics aren’t written because the writer is “sick,” “disgusting,” “perverted,” etc etc etc. That’s it. That’s all.
5) DARK fics/Rape fantasies have always been a way for women to take control of their bodies. Historically (and even currently) women have had their sexuality suppressed. “Good” girls weren’t supposed to actually enjoy sex. Sex with their husband has been referred to as the “woman’s curse,” “wifely duty,” etc etc. Women who enjoy sex, actively pursue sex, have more than one sexual partner, or experiment with sex are referred to as sluts, whores, wanton, nymphomaniacs, unnatural, witches, the list goes on and on. Out of sexual repression and frustration the “rape fantasy” was born. Rape fantasies allow women to enjoy sex without the guilt. Most DARK fics include the woman orgasming, usually multiple times, which in and of itself is unusual in the real world. (Hell, women fake orgasms so they don’t hurt their partners feelings or are too shy to ask for what they need in bed). Rape fantasies give women the freedom to experience sexual acts they may have been told were “gross” ie receiving oral sex or “taboo” ie anal sex or multiple partners. DARK fics work the same way. In the enlightened age of 2021 women’s bodies are STILL being regulated. We are still being called sluts and whores for actively pursuing sexual satisfaction. DARK fics give us the opportunity to explore our sexual desires and needs in a guilt free environment. You have an earth shattering orgasm from having your pussy eaten until you cry? No shame because you didn’t have a choice. Get off from having your face fucked? No shame because you didn’t have a choice. See how this works? Rape fantasies/DARK fics are an escapist way to enjoy sex. To wallow in pleasure that you have no choice but to enjoy.
5) Some DARK fics pull in aspects of BDSM or rather subsets of BDSM. The BDSM community is a large and varied one. There are hundreds of kinks. One of the subsets includes Edge play which involves kinks such as pain, knife, fear, degradation, blood etc. DARK fics can also include some form of a Dominate/submissive dynamic. Again, it’s a subset of D/s relationships that delve into “consensual” non-consensual sex acts. Play or scenes revolve around the submissive being taken against their will, “forced” to engage and enjoy the sexual acts being performed. As with rape fantasies/DARK fics it allows the submissive to enjoy sex, in a safe environment, without the guilt. This is probably TMI but as a submissive myself Edge play allows me to fully experience my sexuality by allowing me to give control over to someone else. DARK fics serve the same purpose. (True BDSM ALWAYS involves willing partners and healthy power dynamics.)
6) People deal with trauma in a million different ways. DARK fics are a way for people to work through their feelings. NEITHER YOU NOR ANYONE ELSE GETS TO DICTATE HOW SOMEONE DEALS WITH THEIR TRAUMA. I will not expand on this because I have no idea how others deal with trauma and I will not make presumptions as to why they choose the methods they do.
7) It is perfectly normal to become sexually aroused or think a DARK fic “is hot.” It all goes back to allowing oneself to enjoy sex without the guilt. Having numerous partners at the same time, anal sex or female receiving oral sex are common themes in DARK fics. In the real world women who participate in multiple partner sex or anal sex are still, unfairly, seen as “dirty” or “slutty,” or “freaky.” However, men who engage in the same acts with women are not. DARK fics allow women the freedom they are denied.
8) Despite the reasons I have listed above, no one needs a reason or your permission, to write, read, and enjoy a DARK fic.
I apologize if I rambled on. But this subject pisses me off. It is neither mine nor any other writer's job to cater to what you deem acceptable.
(This post focuses on the cis female/male dynamic of DARK fics. “Female” could be replaced with gay, lesbian, trans, bi, asexual, pansexual, gender fluid or any other individual/gender who has been denied access to enjoy their own sexuality. I do understand that there are many other factors that affect those not considered cis female or male but, due to my own lacking, I don’t know enough to properly and respectfully address those factors. I apologize for this.)
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[RoD] All The Small Things
Pairing: Logan x Jin, Colt x OC (Jordan)
Ratings/Warnings: T (crude humor, strong language/swearing)
Author’s Notes: * All main characters belong to Pixelberry, I’m just borrowing them; OC Jordan Tanaka belongs to me * This is a submission for @rodappreciationweek Day 2: Colt, in addition to being a submission for the RODAW Time Capsule Challenge, set 12 years after the conclusion of RoD (call it a sneak peek at events from my When You Say Nothing At All series) * This is also a gift fic for @troublemakerinspace , who loves out of context writing prompts as much as I do, AND fulfills a request from the Friends/Chandler writing prompt list (#22) for @ofpixelsandscribbles * Title inspo comes from a Blink-182 song *
Word Count: ±1600 (6 minutes reading time)
Taglist: @ao719 @burnsoslow @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @/ofpixelsandscribbles @rainbowsinthestorm @superharriet @choiceskatie @jaqren @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicesarehard @client-327 @queenjilian @saivilo @lovehugsandcandy @/troublemakerinspace
The past week has been an endless test on Colt’s patience. If it had been up to him, a weekend trip would have had this all over and done with, not to mention a steak buffet for two for a couple hundred dollars.
Instead, he’s standing in a gauzy white tent, fussing with the sleeves of his tailored suit. At least no one tried to talk him into wearing a tuxedo, recalling the way Logan looked like a waiter when he took Jin to prom. He smirks to himself, recalling that night, so many years ago.
In reality, more than a decade has passed, and though they all look the same, they definitely aren’t the same people. Colt looks at his reflection in the small mirror hanging from the tent frame, and for a moment, he wishes his father was still alive. He wonders what his old man would think of what was about to go down, whether he’d made the right choices to get to this moment.
He never thought he would have gone into business with the punk that tried to take his place when they were teenagers, for starters. When Teppei brought Logan into the crew, he saw something in him. It took Colt a few more years to see that potential, and it took the presence of a once-naive teenager named Jinrae to set things in motion.
While he stands firm in the belief that they could have been the King and Queen of LA, Jin’s roll of the dice laid out a different path for everyone in her orbit. The garage is there, and it brings in more than enough money through repairs and rebuilds, not to mention the custom work Logan’s side of the business lures in from shinier clientele. They’ve got money to burn and the shop helps them burn it. Colt spends more time recruiting talented mechanics and engineers at sideshows than he ever did racing or entertaining temporary affections.
Then there was the one that knocked him for a loop and managed to work a long game on him. Even then, it was Jin’s doing that seemed to kickstart things, through her little meatball-headed daughter. Colt never really liked dating anyone that he worked with, especially if he was the one in charge of actually paying them to be there, but Jordan had been an exception from day one.
She proved to be an exception every day since then as well. She was the first woman to give him flowers, and it quickly became something they did for each other through the course of their relationship. She’d leave him origami roses on the steps to the loft, on the nights he’d stay at work late to study. He’d leave bright pink flowers on her doorstep on her days off; roses, tulips, and especially lilies.
Jordan was the whole reason he was standing in a white tent, getting ready to stand in front of their families instead of eloping somewhere on the Vegas Strip. He checks his watch for the time, wondering where Logan is. It was customary for the Best Man to be with the groom before the ceremony, making sure the groom didn’t run off or go do something stupid. Colt would do neither of those things. Not today.
The flap behind him parts open, and Toby’s head peeks in. “Hey, Colt, you got a minute?”
Colt’s jaw clenches, and he adjusts the tiny succulent boutonniere pinned to his lapel.
“Colt, I know you’re still mad at me over the unsolicited mud fight, but can you please come here for just a second, and bring a towel?”
Colt’s head whips around in annoyance. “What? Why? Do I look like housekeeping to you?”
Toby steps into the small space, and Colt isn’t sure if he should laugh or blow a gasket at the sight before him. He sputters out a laugh so hard he doubles over. “Dude,” Toby scoffs. “Little help?”
Colt has tears in his eyes, and his ribs ache from laughing. When his laughter finally subsides, he stares at his friend, wiping away the last few tears. “W-why,” he stammers, trying to compose himself. “Why didn’t you just ask one of the hotel staff for something to clean up? I’m kinda busy, about to get married and all.” He stretches his arm a bit and flicks his wrist, casting a cursory glance at his watch. “Did you see Logan out there?”
“He was dealing with a, uh, code brown situation with the baby,” Toby answers, grabbing a few tissues from a box on a side table. “Full-on blowout.”
“You’re no better.” Colt clicks his tongue, sighs, and begins to slip off his suit jacket. He removes the cufflinks from the sleeves before unbuttoning his shirt. “Hurry up and gimme your shirt already,” he stage whispers. “I know you didn’t pack an extra one, and my jacket ought to cover most of it.” The last thing he wants to do is hold up the schedule because one of his groomsman can't stay clean for five-fucking-minutes.
“Thank you thank you thank you!” It all comes out as one word as Toby removes his shirt, and they swap clothes.
Five minutes later, Logan finally appears, offering Colt tiny bottles of vodka or scotch if he needs a drink. Colt waves it off, and they leave the tent to take first look photos before guests start to arrive for the ceremony. While they’re waiting, he sends Logan on one last mission for him, and Logan takes off with a determined look in his eyes.
The photographer leads Colt out to a small clearing overlooking the ocean; he’s instructed to keep his eyes on the water until Jordan arrives. Never one to want to follow rules, he turns his head to follow the photographer, who warns him playfully, but steps close enough to block his view until he returns his gaze to the sea. It doesn’t take long before he hears two sets of camera shutters rapidly clicking, and he knows she’s close.
“Fancy meeting you here,” Jordan teases, though Colt can hear the nerves in her voice. “Not thinking about jumping, are you?”
He grins at her question. “The day’s still young, never know,” he fires back. He pivots in place, coal eyes landing on the grass at her feet, before trailing up to see Jordan in her wedding dress. He’s seen it on the hanger for weeks, but seeing her in ivory silk takes his breath away. Her shockingly pink hair is a softer and rosier hue, making her look like some sort of ethereal goddess. It’s possible he’s falling in love with her all over again.
“What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT?” Jordan’s smile fades and her eyes go wide as she surveils Colt’s appearance.
He drops his gaze down to his shirt, then back up to her, reaching for her hands. It’s a clumsy move since she’s wielding a massive flower bouquet. “Minor mishap. Spilled my drink getting ready.”
“Your shirt is all stained!” She stares at the splotches of rosé that aren’t hidden by the buttoned jacket.
“Seriously, good luck marrying me,” he replies, shrugging his shoulders. He squeezes her hand gently in his, and Jordan shakes her head, but there’s a smile playing across her glossy lips. “Can’t take me anywhere, Tanaka, you’ll see.” He takes a half step towards her, a slight breeze in the air causing the perfume he loves so much to drift off her skin.
“That...is not your shirt,” Jordan whispers, batting her lashes up at the man that will soon be her husband. She hefts her bouquet in one hand so she can use her other hand to cup the side of his face, tapping manicured fingers on his shoulder.
“What?”
“The buttons,” she answers, tilting her chin down. “Those are circuit boards.” She looks up into Colt’s eyes; mischief flickers in his gaze, though his expression is serious. “I don’t even wanna know why, but five bucks says you’re wearing Toby’s shirt and he’s probably wearing yours.”
“No idea what you’re talking about.” Colt smirks, then captures Jordan’s lips in a PG-level kiss for the photographers. When they pull apart, his head is spinning, and she knows she’ll have to retouch her gloss.
Out of the corner of his eye, Colt sees a blur of movement in blue, then blush pink. He grins softly and kisses Jordan again. “Saved by the nerd brigade,” he jokes, tapping her shoulder.
Logan and Jin stand off to the side, waving a fresh shirt from a hanger, smiling and waving at their friends. In an almost choreographed move, Jin begins walking towards the bride and groom along with Jordan’s sisters, all wearing dresses in the same shade of pink. Colt kisses Jordan’s cheek one more time, then strides quickly towards Logan, who’s found a spot to hang the shirt and is already unbuttoning it so Colt can change for the third time today. “What the hell took you so long?”
“One, you’re welcome, asshole,” Logan jeers, draping Colt’s jacket over one arm. “Two, a golf cart is not my Devore, no matter how hard I was Fred Flinstoning the gas.”
Colt sets his lips into a hard line, then shrugs. “You get the other thing I asked for?”
Logan snaps his fingers and looks around for a canvas tote Jin had with her, pulling forth a single stargazer lily. He hands it to Colt once he’s slipped his jacket on, just in time for the photographers to call over the groom and his groomsmen for more photos.
The look on Jordan’s face when she notices the flower is enough to make him forget about running off to Vegas.
#rodaw#rodaw 3.0#rod appreciation week#rodaw day two: colt#choices rod fanfiction#choices rod fanfic#playchoices fanfic#ride or die fanfiction#colt kaneko#colt kaneko x oc#colt kaneko x jordan#rodtimecapsule#zaffrenotes writes#scheduled post#issa one shot
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S E O N G H W A ⥈ mafia au series
RECAP: training with the boys begins and frustrations between you all get heated. Seonghwa offers you a kind gesture of motivation to get you to learn how to fight.
word count: 1600+ , tags: angst fluff
characters: ateez (ensemble), reader
⤩ CHAPTER 3 ⤩
character list . one shot
“So what DO you know how to do?”
Yunho has never recalled seeing such a pathetic attempt at shooting in his entire life. Up until today when he saw the way your hand trembles around a gun. San, on the other hand, was elated to watch you suck at every single thing you tried to do. You were downright frustrated knowing: learning how to shoot, physically defend yourself, and fighting back wasn’t something you sought to learn.
He kept his hopes high though, Yunho, wanting to see you prosper at the side of his ruthless boss. And even if San thinks otherwise of the circumstances, Yunho assumed your place beside Seonghwa would do the heartless southside king justice. Being with him for so long, Yunho knew of Seonghwa’s shortcomings. Love was undoubtedly one of the assets Seonghwa never had. Seeing as he’s at least trying, Yunho wanted to help out the fact.
He had become frustrated too whilst teaching you and decided maybe you needed a breather.
You were quiet despite San’s failed efforts to get into your head with his rambunctious insults. You only stared at the ground while the other two pondered over new ideas. You weren’t trying at all. You’d like to think it’s because you refuse to take part in justifying yourself for a self proclaimed husband. Honestly, you just had little motivation to try let alone exert any unnecessary efforts.
“Your husband’s arrived early.” A meddling voice fills your empty mind. “He‘s on his way to pick your ass up so look alive.”
Your lips curt a faint affirmation before taking your things and beelining for the building’s locker room. There was soft excitement that frenzied deep down in your stomach as you changed. Not that being around a bunch of buffoons bothered you much but you’d much more prefer the company of a senile swine like your husband than them any day. As pathetic as they sounds to you...
San’s picking at his nails cooly on the outside patio while Yunho leans against a pillar. You’re sat cozy in a chair with your bag over your lap as you all await the said mob boss’ arrival.
“Fashionably fucking late, as always.” San seethes through gritted teeth. “Does that asshole not know I have better things to do than babysit his sorry excuse for a wife?”
San was getting sick and tired of it already. Of course, unbeknownst to you, San absolutely adored his precious leader. It doesn’t excuse the fact that your obnoxiously attractive self gets to settle down with his own first love. To add to it, Seonghwa was effortlessly throwing you around like a treasure that must be watched at all times. Somehow, San realizes the time Seonghwa claimed he had when bargaining his new gift did not exist. So here San was doing Seonghwa’s bidding yet again.
Yunho notices the clench in San’s tight look and glares into his own. “Sannie. Let’s not get careless.”
“Bastard better think twice if he thinks I’m gonna still be sleeping in his house after this.”
San glances at you with no momentary comfort before sticking a cigarette into his lips. You note the face of shock that masks on Yunho’s face but says nothing at all.
“He’s here.” Yunho coughs out while glaring at the cancer stuck between San’s lips. “Kill that stupid thing.”
“With pleasure.” San growls back eyes groveling at you.
“San.”
You stand up upon seeing Seonghwa’s knowing glare from the cracked window of his sleek black SUV. The tables turned on the fellows around you when your heels flick on an opposite direction. Being unwanted never bothered you. Being unwanted forced into a situation has not once bothered you. Being victim to it and having the choice to walk out? Now that’s an additional option you’ve never always have and will always willingly take. You don’t do unnecessary efforts. And you know when you aren’t wanted.
“Y/n!”
You ignore them with heavy feet trudging in no resolute destination in mind. Your fingers play with the earphones in your bag before placing them in your deafening ears. You’re joined by a slow moving car at your side while you walk in no particular direction away from your fiancé.
“Honey, get in.”
You ignore him with a long press of your volume up button.
“Stop being stubborn, y/n.” His voice gets harder. “If I have to get out of this car so help me god I’ll—“
You snatch an earphone out of your ear. “You’ll have San deal with me?”
He abruptly brakes when you do. You let out a grunt of vexation before placing an earbud back in your ear.
Seonghwa decides to park his car right then and there to throw you over his shoulder like a sack of rice. Your face flushes in the hottest color of pink as you try to break free.
“S-SEONGHWA WHAT THE HELL?”
“This’ll be what stubborn gets you from now on.”
You resort to sulking in the front seat as your husband possesively holds his hand on the surface of your thigh. You don’t bother even looking back at where the both of you left San and Yunho, irritated eyes strewn on the outside of the moving vehicle.
“I’m assuming your training didn’t go too well.” He comments while driving faster this time.
You don’t reply making Seonghwa’s fingers twitch on your lap. So much for convincing yourself you aren’t wanted.
“Y/n, I’m no psychic. You need to tell me if something bothers you.”
You scoff. “And what, Seonghwa? You’re gonna fix it?”
“I most definitely will try if that’s what you entail me to do.”
You don’t move from your position as your husband drives you to what you know is back home. The eerie silence that fills the both of you in the car makes your gut clench. His fingers on your thigh aren’t helping the entire car ride either.
Seonghwa’s presence to you reminded you of air. He wasn’t a nuisance to have around and for an appraising relationship to move forth with lesser issues, that’s a good thing. Actually, to add to the fact, Seonghwa was much more meaningful company than anyone else. He never crossed any unnecessary lines and if he did, he did so with grace. It was hardly something you can’t sleep on.
He escorts you, with a distance between you two, towards your shared room and it feels domestic. There’s little need for words. Needn’t questions either. Seonghwa was far from an open book, but he’s not the type of novel that pegged your fancy anyway.
Seonghwa’s back was to you as he stripped out of his dark suit, shoulders bared with torturous temptation. Your mind was clouded no thoughts head empty when he brings you out of your trance with a slight quirk of his chin around his shoulder.
“I can at least draw to a conclusion,” He just keeps pushing the subject of matter you refuse to shed light on. “that the basics of living with a man like me weren’t taught to you properly then.”
Your face becomes shaded with amusement. “Living with a man like you requires basic training?”
“You always think so little of me, my precious wife.”
You feel like you’re in some fanatical love story— how fast he is to getting to your place, finger upon the tip of your chin. He lifts your gaze up onto his eyes with certainty and slight amusement too.
“I may not be of some threat to you but some people will think of you to them. I’m an expensive man and I don’t spend my money and the likes of it on just anybody.”
A twitched smile screws your expression. “And that’s supposed to impress me?”
“Scare you a better word for it.” He slips on a low cut long sleeve and a pair of casual pants before dropping you onto his lap. “I need to know. That at all times I’m never with you.. you’re prepared to take down the worst.”
Your breath hitches at the back of your throat as his fingers grace the exposed skin on your neck. His lips take upon the deed of pressing a sweet kiss, the feel of pain besting you. You don’t realize in the blur of the pleasure how a throbbing pain lingers where his lips lift.
“I know I promised not to take things too far but if you have no reason to fight, I’ll have to offer you one.”
It’s not a mark of lust nor was it a bite of love. It was a mark for people to see. It was a caligraphy of his own sort, making itvlegible for anyone to read. His lips relieves the vibrating pain and you’re curious. You turn to face him and his breath meets yours. You get caught up in something that isn���t there but you can taste. It was like something you need. A lot like air.
“It was meant for your skin.” He reassures you taking an inch of space back. “It’s not inclined for you to believe it’s also for your lips sake.”
You chuckle softly no blush apparent to his notion. “What a romanticist.”
He boredly hums. “Seems so.”
You wear a shirt that reveals the mark as if you’re proud to bear it. No, it’s not pride you feel entitled to, it’s the meaning. It gives you reason to fight.
Seonghwa stands beside you while you throw punches; in front of you when you kick and swing so he can teach you how it’s done.
It’s then you realize why he’s Southside’s king and why he deserves his title.
“Yunho informed me that your lack of skill was overbearing this afternoon.” Seonghwa speaks highly, eyes dawned with amusement and amazement. “That or I’m just one hell of a good teacher.”
You lean over to help him up. “I didn’t have a reason to defend myself. I think I do now.”
“While fighting me?”
“Something like that..”
@atinybitofau
a/n: ROUGH EDIT
#r:mature#tags: angst fluff#ateez x reader#seonghwa x reader#side!hongjoong#ateez#ateez seonghwa#ateez park seonghwa#park seonghwa#seonghwa#honey#honey chapter 3#honey mafia au#seonghwa mafia au#ateez mafia au#mafia au#seonghwa fic#seonghwa scenario#seonghwa imagine#ateez fanfic#HONEY#ateez imagine
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The Pub Quiz- Tom Holland One Shot
Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader
Prompt: Tom can’t concentrate on the pub quiz when you refuse to take part in it.
Word Count: 1600
Warnings: probably some swearing??
A/N: idk guys i just miss the livestream chaos already
Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist
*Gif is not mine*
~~~
Leading up to the Marvel pub quiz, all of you in the house worked on coming up with the best questions and the correct answers. It was tricky just trying to narrow them down to about 30 questions.
“We cannot ask the thong question.” Harry shook his head, laughing at his older brother.
“But it’s funny!” Tom insisted. One of the questions he had suggested was ‘what did Tom have to wear under the Spider-Man suit’, which was quickly vetoed by you, Harry, and Harrison.
“We’re not asking that.” You laughed, coming into the living room and sitting in the only open spot, right beside Tom. Harry was your best friend, and so when you needed a place to stay for a bit, he offered for you to live with him, Tom, and Harrison; that turned into a much longer stay with quarantine. You were fine living with Harry and Harrison- you just had issues living with Tom. Maybe it was because he had been your crush since like forever, maybe it was because he just happened to look good every single day of quarantine, maybe it was because you personally saw that t-shirt challenge live and couldn’t get the image out of your head, maybe it was because Tom was just Tom. But Harry was your best friend and you weren’t about to tell him you were in love with his brother.
“We’re? So you’re doing it now?” Tom asked with a smirk. He’d been trying to convince you to join him, Harry, and Harrison on the livestream, but you didn’t want to. You were shy and didn’t exactly want the world to see your quarantine self.
“Absolutely not.” You replied, “But that doesn’t mean I still can’t veto your questions.”
“We gave you the coolest superhero question; we’re not doing the thong question.” Harry stated.
The four of you moved on with more questions. It was difficult to come up with questions that were hard but not too hard and questions that were easy but not too easy. After a couple hours, you all were finally content with the list.
On the day of the quiz, Tom wandered out onto the back patio where you were working on your laptop. You already knew it was another attempt to convince you to join the livestream again. As he flopped himself down on the outdoor sofa next to you, you moved your laptop to the table to give him your full attention.
“Please?” Tom asked, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. His leg shook anxiously beside you.
“No, I don’t want to.” You shook your head, laughing at his plea.
“But I want you to.” He held your hands in his, keeping up his pout.
“I’ll watch it, if that makes you feel better.” You said and he sighed in defeat.
“Fine.” Tom let out a small huff. It didn’t go unnoticed by you that he kept your hands in his. You wondered if he even noticed.
“Nervous?” You asked, nodding down to his shaking leg. He immediately stopped himself from shaking his leg, almost embarrassed that he’d been called out.
“A little. I’m not going to have my favorite girl with me.” He said, giving you a teasing smile. That was another thing that made your living situation difficult; Tom would make flirty comments to you whenever it was just the two of you in the room.
“Tessa will be there.” You teased.
“That’s not what I meant.” As his thumb started to rub the back of your hand, you realized that he definitely knew he was still holding your hands. You were so focused on your hands that you barely registered Tom was leaning in closer to you.
“Tom! Livestream’s in five!” Harry’s voice from inside the house made Tom jump back from you, dropping your hands.
“You better be watching it.” Tom said. He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before bounding off inside the house to get ready for the quiz. You smiled softly, placing a hand over the spot where his lips had touched you. Yeah, quarantine was definitely getting harder. You got out your phone and put on the livestream, watching him go through the questions. You were more than grateful when he finished them without mentioning the thong question- the veto power had worked.
You went back to work on your laptop, having the phone propped up so that you could still watch the livestream. You smiled when the rest of the Hollands joined in; you missed being able to see them, they were like your second family. You became so focused on your work afterwards that you hadn’t realized Tom excused himself from the livestream.
“You sure you don’t want to join?” Tom asked you, coming back out to the backyard.
“Tom, you’re supposed to be doing the livestream.” You scolded, surprised by his appearance downstairs.
“Harry and Harrison took it over for a few minutes.” He explained, adjusting the cap on his head as he sat down right beside you on the couch again.
“Then what are you doing down here?” You asked.
“I can’t focus on it.”
“The fans want to see you, not Harry and Haz.” You said with a small laugh, glancing over at your phone which showed the two boys on the other end of the livestream trying to figure out what to do.
“Well, I want you.” Tom replied in a rushed voice, leaning closer to you, “I need to finish where we left off.”
“Tom,” was all you could get out before he kissed you. He smiled into it as you began to kiss him back.
“I needed that.” He rested his forehead on yours when he pulled away, “I should get back up there.”
“Yeah, you should.” You smiled. Tom gave you another kiss before he rushed back in the house.
“Y/N answer your phone!” You heard Harry shout from inside the house and through the livestream, making you jump. You’d been so caught up in the kiss that you hadn’t realized he and Harrison had requested you to join them on the livestream. You laughed to yourself before answering it. Tom came back into view of the livestream with Tessa in his arms, surprised to see you on there with them.
“I told you I didn’t want to go live.” You said, jokingly.
“Oh come on, just one question.” Harry pleaded, subtly kicking Tom under the table.
“Ow. What’d you do that for?” Tom muttered. He let Tessa down and Harrison was quick to pick her up.
“Say the question, you div.” Harrison chuckled, slowly rocking side to side to soothe the dog in his arms.
���Y/N, long time no see.” Tom smiled, acting as if he wasn’t the reason for the blush on your cheeks- and if you weren’t the reason for the blush on his. He looked down and read the next question with a laugh, “You better get this right.”
“I haven’t been paying attention, but I did come up with the questions.” You laughed. You looked down and read some of the comments on the livestream; it was hard to ignore all the fans commenting your ship name with Tom, which was something all four of you were very aware of.
“Who is the coolest superhero in the MCU?” He asked with a cocky smile on his face, already expecting your answer to be him.
“Definitely not Spider-Man.” You teased, making Harry and Harrison burst out in fits of laughter while Tom pouted. “No, no, I’ll say Spider-Man to make you feel better.”
“Well, Spider-Man’s the right answer so,” Tom said.
“Whatever you say.” You playfully rolled your eyes.
“Alright, we can’t ask you another question because you already know the answers.” He laughed, “See you in a bit, love.” You waved goodbye as he removed you from the livestream. Harry once again kicked Tom under the table- you could tell by how Tom jumped and eyed his brother questioningly.
When the livestream ended, you made your way back inside to the kitchen. Making yourself a cup of tea, you heard the three boys laughing and talking from upstairs. After a moment, Tom came down the stairs into the kitchen.
“How’d you like the livestream?” Tom asked you. His signature cheeky grin on his face. You wondered if Harry and Harrison knew about the kiss; after all, they’d been on a livestream so there really wasn’t time for them to discuss it.
“You really just went for the dogs at the end there.” You joked.
“Well, Tess didn’t want to be in the livestream so we had to improvise.” He laughed. A silence filled the air before you spoke up.
“So are we going to talk about that?”
“Sorry, I was just being stupid.” Tom shook his head and your heart dropped at his words. “It’s just Harry mentioned earlier today that he thought you liked me, and I wanted to know if you did because I- well, I like you too, as more than just my little brother’s best friend.” He stepped closer to you, “I’d just really like to be with you, Y/N. And I really hope that I didn’t make it weird by kissing you.”
“You didn’t make it weird.” You replied, “Harry was right.”
“Can I kiss you again then?” He asked with a hopeful smile. You nodded as he kissed you again.
“Did we miss something?” Harrison questioned, walking into the kitchen with Harry beside him. You pulled back from Tom, nervously biting your lip.
“It’s about time, but god just don’t do that in the kitchen.” Harry said, fake gagging. Tom laughed at his brother before kissing you again. Harry and Harrison retreated from the kitchen as Tom deepened the kiss, flipping off his brother in the process.
#tom holland#tom holland fanfic#tom holland imagine#tom holland one shot#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n#tom holland fic
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you’d come back to me
chapter five: emotionally volatile
[first chapter] [previous chapter] [master list] [next chapter] [read on ao3]
Summary: Seto Kaiba has been presumed dead for four years after the events of Dark Side of Dimensions. His return causes both unresolved feelings of grief to be brought to the surface and the past to be dragged right back up. In hopes of helping Seto move on and reintegrate back into society at large, Mokuba asks Yugi to work on Spherium II with Seto. Never one to leave a friend hanging, Yugi agrees. Over the course of the project, Seto and Yugi both come to terms with their mutual grief and grow towards a better understanding of each other.
Rating: T
Ships: Yugi Mutou/Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba/Rebecca Hopkins, Katusya Jonouchi/Mai Kujaku
Warnings: aged up characters, grief, references to suicide
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It wasn’t that Seto went out of his way to notice how Yugi looked. But was it his fault that Yugi tended to pick outfits that drew the eye? It seemed like Yugi went out of his way to look good. Today, Yugi had picked a blue vest that paired well with his black tie and navy blue button down.
When had Yugi stopped wearing the collar? He’d kind of liked how the collar looked on Yugi. At first he’d been annoyed when Mokuba insisted that he join this pitch meeting but now he was a little grateful that Mokuba had made him do this. “As you can see here, Spherium II is unlike anything on the market,” Yugi said, gesturing to the planned features for Spherium II.
Kaiba started to zone out as Yugi rolled up one of his sleeves and noted the slight flex in Yugi’s forearm muscles. They really were nicely defined. Surely this had to be due to the concussion he had earlier in the year, right? Maybe he should consult a doctor later about his inability to focus. Mokuba nudged Seto and he jolted as he realized that the slide had changed. How long had it been since Yugi stopped talking? An investor was talking instead now. “How can we be certain that this game would sell?”
“Do you think Kaiba Corp can’t sell a product,” Seto snapped, annoyed that this person would suggest that his company couldn’t sell a game made by Yugi Mutou, the King of Games. “Or perhaps you think Mutou’s title ‘King of Games’ isn’t something that could move a product on its own?”
“What my brother means to say,” Mokuba cut in, glaring at Seto, “is that between Kaiba Corp’s fantastic PR department and Yugi’s many titles under his belt, we certainly could make sure that you would see a fantastic return on investment. In fact, I can have our PR department and advertising meet with you personally and give you a tour of their process.”
“And if it helps,” Yugi added, a charming grin on his face, “I’ve been told I make a fantastic spokesperson.”
With a smile like that, Yugi could certainly sell Seto just about anything he wanted. It took Seto a few moments to remember to breathe. He had the strangest urge to just hand Yugi his wallet at this point. He shook the thought out of his head as the investor shrugged. “Well, if Mr. Mutou appears in the adverts for the game, I don’t see any reason to not invest then.”
It was rude but Seto just needed to get out of there. Needed to clear his head. He hadn’t even realized that he had already made it back to where the AI was housed until he was already there. It was like he’d move on autopilot, straight back to Dueling against this AI because it was a sense of familiarity in a new and confusing world. Maybe all his stupid reactions to Yugi would make more sense after a Duel, just like every other time he’d gone up against the AI. It just had to. The program started up and once again, the scene was different than he expected.
Instead of the expected scenery, he was in… he didn’t even know how to describe it. It reminded him of the throne room of the Pharaoh’s palace and yet the furniture in the room wasn’t the throne room. He examined the room and noted there was a bed in the middle of wherever he was. He had no idea where this room was. He’d actually never seen this place before. So it wasn’t based on his memories then. Alarm bells rang in his head as it dawned on him that someone else had to have designed this room. “What are you doing in my bedroom?”
The AI had snuck up on him and Seto nearly had a heart attack as he spun around to see the Pharaoh like he’d never seen him before. He wore a red cape and this time, he had no shirt on. Thankfully, he was still wearing something on his lower half, though once again… Kaiba lacked the words to describe what he was seeing. “How can we be in your bedroom,” Seto half demanded. “These rooms are supposed to be based on my memories. I’ve never been in your bedroom. This cannot possibly be your bedroom and where is your shirt?”
“You sound flustered, Kaiba,” the Pharaoh remarked, arching a brow up at him. “Are you here to Duel or question my wardrobe choices? If it might make you feel more comfortable… I could remove the cape as well.”
Seto’s eyes went wide. “There’s no need,” Seto said, a little too quickly. The Pharaoh had to look like that, didn’t he? Certainly, part of the blame was on him. He did design the Pharaoh’s torso to have those nicely defined abs but in his defense… The Pharaoh was never supposed to be shirtless in the simulation. “In fact, I’d be more comfortable if you had a shirt on.”
“This is my bedroom,” the Pharaoh replied, sounding indignant. “Maybe you should take your shirt off.”
“I’m pretty sure I did not program you to be this contrary,” Seto muttered. Then again, he definitely didn’t program in a bedroom for the AI nor did he program it even be able to go without a shirt. Someone was going to pay for this. “Fine, whatever, let’s Duel.”
“Alright,” the Pharaoh said with a smirk on his face as he activated his Duel Disk. Seto tried to ignore how nice the Pharaoh’s arms looked and the slight flex he did. “I’ll go first this time. I summon Chocolate Magician Girl!” Out came another Magician Girl, twirling around and giving a wink to the Pharaoh. “She allows me to discard a spellcaster so I can draw a card. And with that, I end my turn.”
“Fine! I activate Dragon Shrine, which will allow me to send both my Blue Eyes White Dragon and the White Stone of Legend to the graveyard. And that activates the effect of the White Stone Legend, bringing a Blue Eyes White Dragon to my hand,” Seto called out, noting a plan forming in his head. “Next I summon the Maiden with Eyes of Blue and set a card,” he said as the Maiden summoned out and set Call of the Haunted. Next turn he’d bring out Blue Eyes one way or another. “That ends my turn.”
“Quite a lovely lady you brought out onto the field, Kaiba,” the Pharaoh remarked as he drew his card. “Interesting you would leave her out on the field undefended. Didn’t anyone tell you that you should always defend a lady?”
“She’s a trading card,” Kaiba said coolly, frowning as he noted that he’d already summoned Maiden against the AI before. He hadn’t remarked on Maiden’s stats then. “Are you going to make your move or not?”
“If you insist, Kaiba,” the Pharaoh said. “Once again, I’m activating Chocolate Magician Girl’s effect by discarding a spellcaster from my hand, enabling me to draw another card. And now, I summon Magician’s Rod, which allows me to add a Dark Magician spell card to hand! And now… Chocolate Magician Girl will attack Maiden!”
Perhaps the AI hadn’t learned that much. Seto smirked. “Maiden’s defense activates,” he called out. “When she’s attacked, she switches to Defense mode and summons a Blue Eyes White Dragon from my deck, hand, or graveyard!”
“Are you sure about that,” the Pharaoh said as he revealed a card in his hand. Ash Blossom & Joyous Spring? Suddenly, the pieces began to click in place for Seto. “I discard from my hand Ash Blossom & Joyous Spring to negate the activation of Maiden’s effect! Maiden is destroyed and you take 1600 points of damage! And now, Magician’s Rod will attack you directly!”
“I don’t think so,” Seto half snarled, livid that the Pharaoh had managed to outwit his Maiden. “I activate my trap card, Call of the Haunted! It summons Blue Eyes White Dragon from my graveyard. As long as this trap card remains on my side of the field, so does my Blue Eyes! Do you want to continue that attack?”
The Pharaoh laughed. “Playing with ghosts as always, Kaiba,” he said with a light shrug. “I guess that ends my turn.”
Suddenly, Kaiba had the urge to destroy. It was always easier to turn to the desire to destroy rather than confront the very real truth the Pharaoh had laid out before him. He didn’t remember programming this stupid thing to be so snarky but he did know exactly one person who would. “Let’s see how tough you are when Blue Eyes White Dragon destroys your Magician’s Rod with Burst Stream of Destruction,” Kaiba said, his eyes narrowing as Blue Eyes White Dragon destroyed Magician’s Rod. “With that, I’m setting a card and ending my turn. Make your move.”
The Pharaoh drew and shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do this turn,” he said. “I pass my turn.”
Seto gave a small ‘hm” as he drew. “I activate Ancient Rules to summon a second Blue Eyes White Dragon,” he announced as a second Blue Eyes White Dragon entered the field. “And now, attack Chocolate Magician Girl! Burst Stream of Destruction!”
“Not so fast, Kaiba,” the Pharaoh announced as Chocolate’s eyes narrowed and appeared to steel herself. Her wand waved and suddenly... “Chocolate Magician Girl’s effect activates! She special summons Lemon Magician Girl in defense mode!” Lemon Magician Girl twirled out waving at Kaiba with a surprisingly menacing glower. She waved her wand and now... “And from there, she summons Effect Veiler in defense mode! Blue Eyes White Dragon’s attack is now 750!”
That halted him from wanting to attack Chocolate Magician Girl again. And he’d dealt with Lemon Magician Girl before when he dueled Yugi. Were their effects hard once per turn? He hadn’t bothered asking Yugi further about it then and was regretting it. Better play it safe, he thought. “Fine,” he said. “I still have my normal summon. I tribute my Blue Eyes White Dragon for Rabidragon. End turn.”
“I thought you’d play better than that,” the Pharaoh said with a light smirk on his face. “I activate Magicalized Fusion! This requires to banish five spellcasters from my field or graveyard, but it’s worth it when it summons Quintet Magician… and activates its effect to destroy all cards on the field. Now, Quintet attacks you directly!”
The Pharaoh had summoned some fairly scary spellcasters before but the way Quintet glared at Kaiba actually made him nervous. He was right to be nervous: Quintet’s direct attack hit hard and knocked Seto right over. “You dare?”
“You’ll have to be smarter than that, Kaiba,” the Pharaoh said, gesturing out to signal the end of his turn. “I end my turn.”
“Fine,” Seto said, angry that he didn’t draw anything that would help in this situation. Once again, he needed to make some cuts to the monsters in his decklist. “I set a monster in defense mode. I end my turn.”
“And Quintet will destroy your set card,” the Pharaoh announced as Quintet aimed its staff right at Seto’s set card. As expected, Quintet blew away Totem Dragon. “And I set a card. I end my turn.”
Seto was grateful when he drew Call of the Haunted. That would certainly help. “I set a card. I end my turn.”
“My turn! I summon Lemon Magician Girl,” Atem called out as the familiar Magician Girl twirled out, turning to wink at Atem before turning to glare at Seto. Of course she would glare at him. He glared back as his suspicions were confirmed. Oh, he was going to kill Yugi for this. “And now I’m discarding Kiwi Magician Girl to boost her attack up along with revealing my face down card, Bottomless Trap Hole, destroying Blue Eyes White Dragon. Are you ready, Kaiba?”
“End program,” Seto shouted, fuming as he stormed out of the room to what used to be his office. He had a lot of questions and the only person who might know why Yugi would do something like this would be Mokuba. That and he didn’t really want to go talk to Yugi at the moment. He couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t immediately challenge him to a Duel and that might not help his current situation.
Mokuba was working at his desk and it once again hit Seto how many years he’d missed. Seto noted that Mokuba hadn’t bothered to get a “professional” haircut and that the length sat squarely at his shoulders. His suit jacket was hanging off his chair and his sleeves were rolled up past his elbows. Mokuba looked exhausted as he rubbed his eyes while staring at his computer and Seto noted something dark on the inside of his arm. He looked up from his computer over at Seto with a guilty expression on his face. “Seto,” he said, a lot more casual than he normally would. “Er… hi.”
Seto pointed to the mark inside Mokuba’s arm. “What’s that?”
The question was blunt and Mokuba seemed surprised by the question. He looked at the mark before remarking, “It’s a tattoo. Rebecca and I’s anniversary.”
He was about to question Mokuba on it before realizing that he didn’t really have a right to question Mokuba’s choice to get a tattoo. It was already there. He didn’t even know when Mokuba got it. “Oh,” he said, awkwardly. He remembered why he came here again. Not about Mokuba’s life choices. “You understand Mutou,” Seto said, well aware the transition was awkward. It was better than fixating on the years he missed. “Can you tell me why Mutou would fuck with my project and mess with its programing to use insulting decks?”
Mokuba took a deep breath and sat up straight. For once, Seto couldn’t read Mokuba. He was certain that if he hadn’t missed those years, he might be able to understand what Mokuba was thinking. Unfortunately, he didn’t know. “Promise you won’t be mad.”
Seto tried to puzzle out why he would be mad. He was lost. “What do you mean?”
“I helped him,” Mokuba said and Seto doubled back. His mind was already reeling. He couldn’t understand why Mokuba would do such a thing. Weren’t they good? Seto could’ve sworn that things between him and Mokuba were okay. “He found it a few months ago and he was really upset, Seto. So I agreed to help him reprogram it. It was more of a catharsis factor for him, I think.”
A lot of questions entered Seto’s head and he had no idea if Mokuba would be willing to answer any of them… or even be able to. The primary question he wanted to ask was if Mokuba was upset. Mokuba had known about the AI before Seto had left. Left was the most delicate way he could put it. “How did Mutou find it?”
Mokuba shrugged. “He said he got lost one the floor and accidentally stumbled across it,” Mokuba said, as if it didn’t matter how Yugi had found the AI. Seto figured to Mokuba, it wouldn’t matter the how of the matter, just the end result. This was in contrast with Kaiba’s concern that if Yugi could simply stumble across it, who knows what other secret projects other people could stumble across. “I don’t know exactly how he found it from there.”
The new question buzzed in his head despite wanting to press further on the issue. The AI had been designed perfectly to match the Pharaoh. As far as he could tell, Yugi wanted to see the Pharaoh too. “Why would it make him upset?”
This seemed to be a bad question. “You don’t know,” Mokuba asked incredulously and seemed shocked when Seto shook his head. He snorted, looking back at his screen. Once again, Kaiba was left feeling out of the loop. “If you don’t know, it’s not my place to tell you. You can ask Yugi.”
“I have to say, Seto, I am surprised that you were willing to schedule an appointment at all,” Reiki said with a pleasant tone, as if they were friends rather than client and patient. “Normally my receptionist is dealing with Mokuba setting up the appointment. Is there a reason for this change?”
“I recently discovered Mokuba and Yugi had been messing with the code of one of the last projects I had created before I left for the afterlife,” Kaiba said, his gaze cold on Reiki. “And since, as you pointed out, Mokuba arranged the appointments, I suspected that perhaps they were using the knowledge of when I would be out of office to mess with my project.”
“I see,” Reiki said. “So arranging your own appointment was more about making sure that others did not know when you would be out of office. I do have to say that it is quite normal to be upset about someone tinkering with something you worked on without your knowledge. Let’s talk about that.”
“I had created a new Dueling AI, designed to actively learn the game for players to test their skills against,” Kaiba said, as if he was reading the project proposal. There was no need to admit that there had been more to the project than that. He felt a slight twinge of guilt for obfuscating the facts, however. “Over the past few months, however, it seems as if Yugi and Mokuba have been actively tampering with it. In many ways, it has shown a marked improvement over the original model. That isn’t the point, however.”
“The point is that they made these modifications without asking you,” Reiki said, a furrowed brow. “I thought tech development was an inherently collaborative business. Surely there will be other times when other people will make modifications without consulting you. Unless, of course, there’s a reason why this particular project is being worked on exclusively by you.”
It was true enough that Kaiba was expected to work with other developers and marketing teams. And yet this was something different. Kaiba had painstakingly recreated the Pharaoh and now Yugi was altering it. He knew that Yugi’s alterations were most likely for the overall benefit of the program. It had, after all, shown marked improvement and acted in ways that Kaiba could not have expected. “Because it was a personal project,” Seto finally said. “I had worked to recreate the Pharaoh and they were undermining my efforts.”
“So they were sabotaging the project?”
Seto shifted uncomfortably. “Not… exactly,” Seto admitted as he thought about the recent changes made to the AI. The version that Yugi had helped to create acted far more like the Pharaoh that Seto had met in the afterlife. He had been charming, effortlessly cool, and above all: a tough opponent to beat. Yugi had managed to capture all that while forcing Seto to see that the Pharaoh had been a very real human at one point. “In fact, some of the modifications made were helpful in taking the project to the next level. It’s just that…”
When Seto trailed off, the room went quiet. Reiki waited patiently, expecting Seto to finish his statement. After a few minutes, Reiki finally prompted, “Is it possible that this has more to do with concern that because you left, communication with your brother has broken down? After all, you did say he did this without talking to you.”
“There’s been no breakdown in communication,” Seto said, a little more defensively than he would have liked. “I have gotten the message loud and clear when they started destroying my personal property and showcasing how poorly coded they think my project is.”
“Destroyed your personal property? When did this happen?” Reiki was now flipping through his notes.
“When they altered the code to my project,” Kaiba said. “Please, try to keep up.”
Reiki seemed confused but nodded. “I do need a little bit more explanation,” Reiki said. “Perhaps if you explain a bit more about what the message is, I can better understand what you’re thinking here.”
Annoyed that he had to explain something so obvious, Seto gave a “tch” before stating, “The underlying message is that they are unhappy that I have returned. Clearly, things were better for them when I was in the afterlife.”
Reiki frowned. “I don’t think that’s the case, Seto,” he said, sounding as if he was trying just a little too hard to be gentle. “Mokuba had set up these appointments with the intention of helping you to integrate back into the world. This doesn’t indicate that he wishes you had stayed in the afterlife to me.” Reiki paused before shrugging. “I cannot speak to Mr. Mutou’s feelings, as I have never met him. I doubt, however, that he would rather you be in the afterlife.”
“You would say that,” Seto said, looking away. “I just think… that perhaps returning at all was a mistake.” He sighed. “I wasn’t even given a choice. The Pharaoh sent me back without asking what I wanted.”
Reiki raised a brow. “I’m required to ask if you have a plan to go back to the afterlife that doesn’t involve dimension travel.”
“I’m not going to kill myself,” Seto said with a roll of his eyes. He thought of Gozubora jumping out the window after his loss, declaring that this is what losers deserve. It was still burned into his mind. It had been what propelled him to his choice in Duelist Kingdom, when he threatened to jump off Pegasus’s castle. “But losers aren’t supposed to be alive. I don’t know why I continue to live despite…”
“But you aren’t a loser,” Reiki interrupted, a strange look on his face. “You became a CEO of a major company at sixteen. You pioneered its shift from weapons manufacturing to the game industry, a move that generated billions in revenue. You created an entirely new system in which people experience Duel Monsters. Not only that, you might not be undefeated, but that in itself doesn’t make you a loser. Seto, you just encountered someone who was better than you at the game. Surely that drives you to want to improve, rather than give up?”
It spilled out from him without his permission. “How am I supposed to know if I’ve improved enough if the person who beat me is dead?” Seto paused, blinking as he realized what he’d just said. “He just… Left. He had told me that our road of battle was forever and now he’s gone.”
For a moment, neither of them said anything. It seemed like Reiki was expecting Seto to actually elaborate on this. Seto had allowed a moment of weakness and now it was expected. He crossed his arms and glanced away. Finally, Reiki spoke. “I see,” he said softly. “You were hoping to get closure when you followed the Pharaoh into the afterlife. Is that right?”
“I don’t need closure,” Seto spat, unable to help himself despite the nagging in his head that maybe Reiki was right. It was uncomfortable and Seto felt exposed. He’d revealed more of himself than he ever intended on revealing. Was that not enough? Must Reiki continue to prod and poke at him? “It’s a matter of logical fact. I simply cannot prove that I have improved if the stick with which to measure myself is no longer here. And it’s pathetic, really. He gave up, not me. I don’t know why I bothered. It’s obvious he was never good enough to be my rival, anyway.”
Reiki merely nodded. “If that is how you feel,” Reiki said. Again, Seto felt like Reiki knew more about him than Seto felt comfortable with. “Do you feel as if you wasted your time with the Pharaoh, then?”
He thought about what the Pharaoh had said in their brief moment together in the afterlife. The Pharaoh had casually admitted that it had been Yugi who had laid him to rest. He spoke of it with fondness, as if it was not the single most horrific thing Seto had ever heard. He longed to know why Yugi had not bothered to fight for the Pharaoh to stay. All he got from the Pharaoh was a cryptic explanation of how every spirit has its place of rest. “He was weaker than I had thought,” Seto finally said. “He had told me about how Yugi had been the one to finally beat him.” Seto tilted his head aas he examined Reiki. “I suppose you’ll tell me how that means it’s obvious that Yugi, who is alive, is who I should be looking to.”
“I was going to say nothing of the sort,” Reiki said with a secret smile. “However, Seto, I’m afraid this is where we’re going to have to leave off. Did you have any final thoughts you wish to share?”
Seto glared at Reiki. “Of course not.”
“In that case,” Reiki said as he closed his notes. “There’s just one thing I’d like to say. It might be better to communicate with Yugi openly about your feelings on adjusting the AI without talking to you. You spend so much time assuming how others are thinking rather than directly asking. I’ll see you in two weeks.”
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Assisting the Assistant
Tag List
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Masterlist of Masterlists
Harley is Jensen’s assistant on the set of Supernatural. It wasn’t what she expected.
AN: Thanks to my amazing love @cherryblossomflowers for editing!
Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault
Words; 1600
Jensen x platonic reader
Jared x platonic reader
“So, what are you doing here, kid? How old are you?” Jensen asked in one of the production offices, interviewing for his set assistant.
“I don’t see why that matters, but I’m twenty. I feel like I can be of great help, and I have a few years experience in-“
“Do you know who I am?”
“A guy… needing an assistant?”
“You got the job. Welcome aboard,” he stood and shook her hand.
“Excuse me?” Harley gasped.
“You’re confident and not intimidated by a Hollywood actor, so to say.”
“Should I be?” She cocked her head to the side.
“No, but that’s the point.” Jensen smiled.
“Okay…”
“We start shooting the next episode tomorrow. Be here at 6am, kid.”
“You don’t know my name, do you?”
“You’re a kid, at least compared to me.” Jensen shrugged.
“Then I withdraw my application.” Harley snarled.
“Hey, wait!” Jensen chased after her in the office. “I’m sorry, it’s Harley, right?”
“Yeah, and I’m not a kid. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
—————-
“Morning, Mr. Ackles,” Harley caught up to Jensen as he exited the van dropping him off.
“Hi,” he smiled. “Follow me.” Jensen hastily walked toward his trailer. After they entered, he said, “take a seat.”
Harley slid onto the couch.
“Rules.”
“Woah- I’m not-”
“Stop being so defensive, kid,” Jensen laughed. “I’m not stuck up. Don’t wait on me hand and foot, and don’t follow me around like a puppy.”
“I can handle that,” she smiled.
“The PAs will get you settled. Go out and turn left. You’ll see the PA trailer.”
“Any other rules?” Harley looked to him.
“Plenty, but those can wait til later.” Jensen winked.
“Right…” Harley stood, unimpressed. “I’ll check in with you when I’m done,” she said matter-of-factly.
A few minutes later, Harley knocked on Jensen’s door. He opened it and she entered.
“You look official with your radio and clipboard,” he smiled. Harley offered a fake smile, not impressed. “What?”
“Nothing, Mr. Ackles. I’m just here to do a job that I’ve done before. I’m not new at this, and you don’t care about assistants.”
“Says who?”
“All the big stars don’t even do small talk with the staff. That’s just how it works in the industry.” Harley shrugged.
“Kid, I’m not like whoever you worked with before. Do your job and do it well, but ya gotta have fun too! Now that we got that out of the way, the PAs will give you the schedule for the day, it’s your job to make sure I show up at the right time. Can you do that?”
“Well, I can tell you, but it is really up to you whether you show up.” Harley grinned, joking.
“You’ll fit in just fine,” Jensen laughed.
Harley easily fit into the awesome that was Supernatural. This was the best set she had ever been on. Jensen talked to her and treated her with respect.
“Ackles! Makeup!” She yelled to him as she walked to the set from the wardrobe trailer.
“Stop bossing me around!” He groaned and rolled his eyes.
“I refuse to get you gum if you don’t listen to me, Jensen!” Harley yelled back.
“FINE, you ass.” He playfully whined. Jensen turned and walked toward her and was about to pass her when she stopped him.
“Here, you earned it.” She gave him his favorite gum.
“Thank you, Your Highness,” he bowed.
“Oh, shut up,” Harley laughed. “Go!” She pushed him toward the trailer.
____________
“Harley,” Jensen nudged his assistant on set.
“Huh?” She snapped at his voice, clipboard almost dropping on his foot.
“Can you PLEASE,” he whined. “Get me a cup of coffee from that place down the street?”
“Fine,” she rolled her eyes playfully at Jensen. “You’re due in Wardrobe in fifteen minutes, don’t forget.”
“Thank you,” he winked at her.
“Whatever, Winchester,” she laughed.
“I love you,” he thanked her.
“You better!” Harley yelled back as she walked away.
When she returned, she handed him and Jared each a cup of coffee.
“I get one too?” Jared looked at the cup in his hand. “Thanks, bud.”
“Jensen’s credit card paid for it, but your welcome,” Harley laughed.
“Hey!” Jensen gasped, ornery. “Next time take his card! Not fair!”
“Cool your jets, Jensen. You would have bought him coffee if you were getting it yourself anyway.”
“Hey, bud. What’s up with you?” Jared walked to Harley while Jensen was doing a scene.
“Huh?” She looked up at him. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re… quiet.”
“I’m fine,” she gave him a short smile.
“If you say so.” He gave the expression back.
————
“Hey, Jensen,” Harley greeted him. As he exited the van, he noticed she backed away from him as he went in to give her a hug.
“You okay?”
“Yep! Sorry, a little jumpy today.” Taking her clipboard, she read off the schedule to him for the day. “Here are your sides.” Harley handed him a few stapled half-pages. She turned to walk with him toward his trailer when she gasped.
“What?” Jensen looked at her face.
“Umm. Forgot to unplug my curling iron. I’ll call my roommate if you don’t mind.”
“Uh. Sure.” He narrowed his eyes at her. He saw a large figure turn the corner of a trailer.
“Hey, Max. How ya doing?” Jensen shook the actor’s hand.
“Glad I got a few episodes out of this gig. It’s the least you people could do for me.”
Jensen froze the handshake and gave the man a serious face.
“Right,” Jensen let go of the man’s hand and told Harley to follow him. “See you on set, Max.”
“Yeah, sure,” Max scoffed.
“Ass.” Jensen whispered. Harley bit her lip. “Come on. Is Jared here yet?” Harley nodded her head. “Can you go get him for me? I need to go over some lines.” As he said that, rain started to fall, “and get in my trailer ASAP. I don’t need you all soaked or borrowing one of my sweatshirts.” He chuckled.
“You’re stupid.” Harley ran off to Jared’s trailer.
“Hey, Jared,” Harley knocked on his trailer. “Jensen said he wanted to talk to you. Runs lines or something.” He slowly grabbed a jacket. “Will you hurry? I’m getting wet!” Jared laughed.
“Okay, lets go.”
“I told you not to get wet,” Jensen groaned. “Here,” he tossed her a large sweatshirt that smelled like his cologne.
“Moose decided to be a slowpoke so I got rained on!” She ran into his trailer followed by Jared.
“Sorry!” The taller man hurried up the steps.
“Hey, you notice Max Green being a shithead?” Jensen sat down next to Harley. Jared sat across from them. “He was a jerk to me.”
“He seems like a stuck up tool to me. He’s been rude. Said that he’s so well-known, and he’s that way. So much for ‘we’re lucky to have him’” Jared huffed.
“Here,” Jensen handed Harley a cup of coffee.
“What?” She accepted it.
“You need it more than me. Get warm.” Jensen smiled.
“Aw. Thanks, Ackles.” She gratefully sipped the drink. .
————-
Jared saw Harley from across the lot.
“Hey, Harley!” He waved. Jared saw her wipe her fingers under her eyes. He walked up to her, no one else around.”what are you doing? You okay?”
“Bye, Harley!” The two turned to see Max Green leaving through a gate. With a smile and a nod, he walked to his car.
Jared saw her shutter.
“What happened? He hasn’t been that nice to anyone since he got here,” Jared chuckled.
When she didn’t respond, he dragged her by her sleeve to his trailer and left for a moment. “JACK!” He called for his friend.
Jensen threw open his trailer door.
“What, man? You’re ruining my-“ Jensen faked annoyance until he saw Jared’s face. “What?” He followed Jared back to the younger Winchester’s trailer.
Harley looked up when the two entered.
“What is going on?” Jensen looked at Harley, a serious, blank look on her face.
“She’s acting funny.” Jared answered. Harley wiped a hand over her face.
“I’m okay. Just got some news this morn-“
“Nah, that’s not it,” Jared stated. “She’s freaked out every time she is near Mr. Big Shot.”
“Max?” Jensen looked to Harley.
“Did Max have anything to do with you not acting like you?” Jared asked.
“No, just sad.”
“You’ve been with us for too long. Talk to us.” Jensen told her plainly. “Did he hurt you?”
“Not really.” Harley whispered.
“I’m going to kill him,” Jared shot up out of his chair.
“No!” Harley shouted. “I’m fine. He didn’t do anything.”
“You’re lying! I can tell!” Jensen growled. Harley burst into tears.
“He- he grabbed my ass and touched my-“ Harley fell over into her own lap, tears hitting her jeans. Jared ran out of the trailer, and he slammed the door. Jensen ran to her side and pulled her into him “no, I’m fine,” YN said. When she sat up, Jared bounded through the door.
“Security escorted him off the lot. He won’t be bothering you anymore.”
“Thanks, Jared.” She stood and wrapped her skinny arms around his waist. Feeling his large body next to hers, she felt safe again.
Forever Friends (Everything):
@katymacsupernatural @unicornblood4ever @supernatural-crazed-girl
@fangirl-moment-x @empirialwolf @winchesters-favorite-girl @super100012
@percywinchester27 @waywardsuns @supernatural-jackles
@mcallmestiles @sdavid09 @kingandrear @bellero @skylarraker
@seality @jaycc7983 @luci-in-trenchcoats
@cherryblossomflowers @because-you-never-know-when
@sleepylunarwolf @choosemyname
@internationalmusicteacher
@encounterthepast @torn-and-frayed
@giggles1026 @xiumin-girl99
@mangueweaschester
@idksupernatural @silverstripe101a
@thevelvetseries @jennawinchester152a * @samsgirl93 * @supernatural3002 *
@tmiships4life * @breereadsthings * @mersuperwholocked-lowlife *
@a-magey @vicmc624 @hookedinto-fictionalworlds @beatifuldisaster018
@miraclesoflove @myopiamystical @fallen-wolf22
@waywardnewcomer
#Jensen Ackles#jensen x platonic reader#supernatural#supernaturalrpf#mlovesstoriesassistingtheassistant#mlovesstories
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Honey, honey | A Buddie One shot
Main ship: Eddie Diaz/Evan Buckley
Wordcount: +- 1600 words
Rating: PG-13, for language, abo mentions, and mpreg mentions
Warnings: Mentions ABO dynamics but isn’t explicit, language, mpreg mention but none of it is very graphic.
I’ve tried finding/writing sensible Spanish but I’m still learning the language so forgive me for making mistakes. I blame the duo lingo owl, he’s trying his best to teach me okay?
Based on the prompt: We've been living together for a few years now, your son calls me dad and recently you started calling me honey. But I never really connected the dots until after I posted a question online and a bunch of random strangers gave me advice. When I finally confessed my feelings for you, you told me you loved me and we've been dating since.
Based on the post: https://seven-oomen.tumblr.com/post/611873995367890944/adding-this-to-my-prompt-list-because-yeah-this
Tagging: @daughter-of-infinity because I saw your reblog of that post and know you wanted a story like this.
He stared at the page before him, biting his lip as he pondered his next move. Was he really going to ask a bunch of strangers online a question like this? What if he was wrong? What if someone he knew found out? What if Eddie did…
But at the same time, he was tired of walking on eggshells. Of not knowing what was going on between the two of them. Don't get him wrong, he wasn't against Chris calling him papa or against Eddie calling him cariño. Whatever that meant. But it was weird that everything had changed so gradually. He almost hadn't noticed it really, until Tia, Eddie's aunt, had said something about Eddie finally finding a good Alpha to raise Christopher with at the last family gathering. She had looked fondly at Buck whilst she said it. And that got him thinking. Did she think Eddie and him were dating?
Wait...
Were they?
And so, here he was. Sitting in front of his computer, staring at the Reddit ask page in front of him.
Oh, fuck it. He was already here, might as well ask some random strangers on the internet what was going on. Surely it wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass.
He started tying.
Firehose asked a question:
What does it mean when someone changes what they've always called you?
I've (31AM) been living with my roommate and best friend (37OM) and his 11-year-old son for three years. We've been through so much together, from earthquakes and the tsunami to a lawsuit and some bullshit with his late wife and other craziness. For us, that's just on the daily. It happens. But it did forge a really strong friendship between us.
I care a lot about my friend and his son, to me they're family and I'd die to protect them and keep them safe. And I know he'd do the same for me. We're best friends and partners on the job but lately, he's been telling me that "I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him."
And I noticed his family has been smiling at me differently lately. I've been going to family meetings for two and a half years and consider them my family but the air seems to have changed, it's almost even warmer. I didn't think that was possible.
Anyway, I've noticed more things lately. Like how my friend calls me cariño, I honestly don't know what that means, and his son started calling me papa about a year ago. Which is absolutely adorable and something I encouraged, I'll admit.
But the cariño thing is bothering me as my friend smiles at me and touches my cheek when he says it. Now, we've always been very tactile in our friendship and we're completely comfortable around each other but this made me feel a bit weird. Not bad weird, just something that makes me feel something but I don't know what or why.
I just don't know what this means and I don't know how to respond to it except smile at him. Cause it does feel kinda nice. I don't know how to talk to him about it, we've never discussed our sexualities. Honestly, I'm still not sure of mine.
We've just always been really close, shared a bed during nightmares kinda close but I honestly don't know how to breach the subject with him. Am I reading too much into this? Am I dating my best friend without knowing it? Honestly, any kind of advice would be appreciated at this point. I don't want him taking this the wrong way.
TLDR: My best friend calls me cariño and his son calls me papa. I don't know why and I'm too scared to ask. I feel a lot of things but I don't know if either of us is bisexual or gay. I don't know what to do with myself. Should I ask him if he has feelings for me?
The next few days were filled with responses from Reddit. All of them pretty much said the same thing. Just ask him out already. Talk to him. Or oh my god, you are totally dating, you dingus...
So he figured he might as well take the next step. He asked Eddie that night after they put Christopher to bed.
They were watching tv together on Eddie’s bed, a beer in hand and shoulders touching.
“So- you know how you always call me cariño? What does that mean?” He asked.
Eddie gave him a rather amused look and chuckled. “It means darling or sweetheart, maybe honey, you know. It’s a term of endearment. I thought you knew that?”
The Omega cocked his head at him and scooted closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. And it felt nice to be held, so he couldn’t help but relax in his hold, laying his head on Eddie’s shoulder as he stared at his beer bottle.
“I-” he bit his lip- “I didn’t. And I just- I don’t know. It’s confusing... “
“What is?” Eddie genuinely looked concerned. He felt terrible for causing it and he wanted nothing more than to hug his best friend and press a kiss to those lips.
Fuck.
“I- are we- Eddie are we dating?”
Eddie looked at him as if Buck had gone insane and snorted. “Excuse me? What do you-” Realization seemed to set in as Buck only looked more confused at Eddie’s amusement. “Oh, you stupid bastard…” Eddie chuckled, “Buck, we’ve been dating for two years.”
It was like a floodgate had opened and another realization came over him. The handholding, laying in bed together on most nights, taking care of Christopher, Buck coming with them to family gatherings, Eddie coming to him for comfort or affection. Holy shit... How had he missed all of that?
Neither of them had dated anyone else in the last three years, he hadn’t even looked at anyone. The only people he really wanted to spend his time with were Eddie and Christopher. Hell, they went to the zoo together, to the movies, they went out for dinner- just the two of them- in fancy restaurants even.
And it had never clicked. Not even once.
“Shit…” He looked up at Eddie in surprise before breaking out in one of his trademark beaming smiles. “Guess we have been.”
Eddie gently put both their beers on the nightstand beside him and pulled Buck closer, pressing a kiss to his temple.
“Eres corto de luces, pero te amo de todos modos.” Eddie mumbled, shaking his head. (You are not the brightest bulb, but I love you anyway.)
“And that means?”
“That you’re stupid but I love you.”
He couldn’t help but smile at those words, gently cupping Eddie’s cheek as he pressed his lips against the Omega’s. “At least I’m your idiot,” He murmured.
“That you are.”
-
UPDATE: What does it mean when someone changes what they've always called you?
TLDR: You were all right and I was dating my best friend without realizing it. But guess what? We talked and now we’re married with three kids. Crazy what a year can change, huh?
So yeah, you guys haven’t heard from me in a year but I decided it was time to let you all know what happened between me and my best friend. So we talked that night after I posted my original story. Turns out I was dating him all along and never put two and two together. Until he did it for me. We talked that night and some other stuff and decided to take the next step together.
Naturally, everyone I knew had a good laugh about that one. Apparently, there was a betting pool on when I would realize I was dating my roomie. My sister won that one by the way.
So within the week my friend and I were engaged. He asked me, with some help from his son. It was adorable, really. He set up this really nice picnic for the three of us in the park, near the lake where we like to hang out on our days off. And he had his son come up to me to show me something he caught. (We both like insects, it’s kind of our shared thing.)
Turns out, our son was actually holding a ring. An engagement ring. And when he handed me the box, my friend took my hand, kissed it and asked me to marry him.
So of course, I said yes. We got married about six months after that. But it turns out that our night of ‘talking’ had some unforeseen consequences, and my husband was six months pregnant with twins when we walked down the aisle.
Yeah, so we married and two months later our son and our daughter were born. Our daughter in an elevator during a power outage and our son in an ambulance, on the way to the hospital. Because nothing in this family ever goes as planned it seems.
It’s been a wild year and if I think about it, I have all of that thanks to you guys. So thank you, for helping me realize what I had all along.
-
He finally closed his laptop and looked over to where Eddie was sleeping on the couch, Robert and Rosalie on his chest as they napped. Chris was silently drawing some pictures next to him at the table and grinned when he noticed Buck was looking.
Yeah it had been a crazy year all around, but truth be told, he would do it all over again.
-
So let me know what you all think of this one, would love to hear it. I very much enjoyed writing this. It was fun to just let my thoughts go and not worry about writing something good. I had fun and it made my day a bit brighter. And honestly, I hope it does that for other people too. So let me know if it did for you <3
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Official 2020 TEA Nominations
Once more, CONGRATULATIONS to all of our nominees!!
If you want to have a look at any of the works on the list (highly encouraged, because our nominees are amazing), the RumbelleTEAs site has compiled links to everything.
And since the list is... long... very, very long, it’s below the read-more.
Voting will begin on January 24th.
FLUFF
Family
Precious Moments, by @jackabelle73
Belle’s water breaks at a party, by @lotus0kid
Family Portrait, by @emospritelet
A Christmas Present for Mama, by @shadowedoracle
Irish Twins, by @killingkueen
The Golds’ Adventures in Parenting, by @ethereal-wishes
Comfort
Forgiveness by the Firelight, by @bellegolds/belleyonce
A Life for a Life, by @paradigmparadoxical
Belle notices she’s going gray, by @lotus0kid
Ever After, by @boushh2187
Fix-It
Between Present and Past, by @jackabelle73
A Step Forward, by evelyn6
It All Ends Well, by @worryinglyinnocent
Reunion
The Awakening, by @joylee56
Marbled, by @worryinglyinnocent
Best Child Fic
Babysitting Debacle, by @ryik-the-writer
The Mayor’s Chair, by @worryinglyinnocent
A Christmas Present for Mama, by @shadowedoracle
Put Me In, Coach, by @mariequitecontrarie
Baby Steps, by @nothingeverlost
Irish Twins, by @killingkueen
SMUT
Kink
In the Blood, by Megara_Bee
Seeing Red, by @killingkueen
Golden Cuffs, by @kelyon
The Party, by @worryinglyinnocent
Romance
Neverland, by @emospritelet
Come Together, by @thatravenclawbitch
A Command Performance, by @prissyhalliwell
Comedy
One for the Road, by @mrs-stiltskin
Eat Your Words, by @killingkueen
Threesome
Room for Three, by @worryinglyinnocent
Sidereal Time, by @mrs-stiltskin
Best First Time
The Wedding Night, by Megara_Bee
Behind the Mask, by @worryinglyinnocent
The Rose and the Dagger, by @sarashouldbestudying
Best Afterlife Smut
The Heart of a Hero, by @mrs-stiltskin
PWP
Seeing Red, by @killingkueen
One for the Road, by @mrs-stiltskin
Parent Teacher Conference, by @timelordthirteen
Last Man Standing, by @emospritelet
BDSM
The Golden Cage, by @gwenore
The Spinner in Chains, by @mrs-stiltskin
Golden Cuffs, by @kelyon
The Dungeon, by @worryinglyinnocent
ANGST
Why?
The Long Road, by @thestraggletag
Cogs, by @maplesyrupao3
The Unresolved, by @of-princes-and-savages
Death
We’ll Have to Muddle Through Somehow, by @thatravenclawbitch
Cogs, by @maplesyrupao3
Sacrifice, by @wierdogal
Oops
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, by @justanoutlawfic
In the Blood, by Megara_Bee
All I Want for Christmas, by @timelordthirteen
Hurts so good
Twisted Fate, by @emospritelet
ROMANCE
Best Date (Overall)
Of Comic Books and Sushi, by @worryinglyinnocent
The Attorneys Paralegal, by Wandering_Willow
Best Hamburger Date
The Alphabet Romance, by Zhanice
Best Laid Plans, by @0ceanofdarkness
Best Courtship
Blind Faith, by @maplesyrupao3
Lava Java, by @betweenpaperpages
More Precious Than Silver, by @bad-faery
A Match Made in Heaven, by @worryinglyinnocent
Best First Meeting
Best Failed Date Ever, by @barpurplewrites
A Match Made in Heaven, by @worryinglyinnocent
The Quill, by @paradigmparadoxical
Forward Post, by @worryinglyinnocent
Best Bathing Scene
Ceasefire, by @thatravenclawbitch
The Golden Cage, by @gwenore
GENERAL AWARDS
Best One-Shot
Love Unsought, by @killingkueen
Come Together, by @thatravenclawbitch
A Tradition to Remember, by @prissyhalliwell
Why Not?, by @betweenpaperpages
Best Drabble
Quoth the Dark One, by @barpurplewrites
In Death, by @timelordthirteen
I Won’t Be Home for Christmas, by @thatravenclawbitch
Best Post-Ep Fic
It All Ends Well, by @worryinglyinnocent
Our Better Decisions, by @theoneandonlylittlebird
Best Comedy Fic
Quoth the Dark One, by @barpurplewrites
The Whole Point of Magic..., by @worryinglyinnocent
Best Movie AU
Elevated Hearts, by @b-does-the-write-thing
A New Life, by @djlouat
I Gave You My Heart, by @ishtarelisheba
The World is Not Enough, by @wierdogal
Best Book AU
The Library Beneath the Clocktower, by @eirian-houpe
Around the World in 80 Days (More or Less), by Megara_Bee
Best TV Show AU
Penny for Your Thoughts, by @nothingeverlost
Storybrooke Hyperion Teaching Hospital, by @wierdogal
Best AU Inspired By Other Media
I Must Be Warmer Now, by @ifishouldvanish
Bellissima, by @standbyyourmantis
Storybrooke Marblelympics, by @kelyon
Best Historical AU
Once Upon a Time in the West, by @joylee56
Fools Rush In, by @worryinglyinnocent
Endless, by @mareyshelley
The Demon Earl’s Deal, by @b-does-the-write-thing
Best AU
Little Miss, by @nothingeverlost
A Face for Radio, by @b-does-the-write-thing
In All Things, by @timelordthirteen
The Champion, by @lotus0kid
Best AU!OUAT
A Sharp and Glorious Thorn, by @thatravenclawbitch
Heartstrings, by Dragonbat
Best Series
The Gingerbread Verse, by @mrs-stiltskin
The Floofy!verse, by @woodelf68
Ceasefire series, by @thatravenclawbitch
Best Novel Length Fic
How Do You Sleep?, by @ifishouldvanish
Writing Our Own Stories, by @wierdogal
Best Holiday Fic
The Founder of the Feast, by @lotus0kid
Alabama, Arkansas, by @timelordthirteen
Murder at the Moonlight Inn, by @maplesyrupao3
I Gave You My Heart, by @ishtarelisheba
Selective Santas, by @of-princes-and-savages
A Visit From St. Nick, by @betweenpaperpages
Best Remix
Relative Earth, by @maplesyrupao3
In the Right Measure, by @bad-faery
Twisted Fate, by @emospritelet
Best Crossover Fic
Through the Vortex, by @wierdogal
Something Quite Wonderful, by @spottytonguedog
Best Dark Castle
The Sounding Sea, by @mareyshelley
Are You All Right?, by jenigweve
A Wanted Storm, by @maplesyrupao3
Best Storybrooke
Flying High, by @ryik-the-writer
Car Kicking Reduces Stress, by @wierdogal
The Moment of Truth, by @leni-ba
Best Travel
The City That Never Sleeps, by @peacehopeandrats
Going Back to the Great Wide Somewhere, by @wierdogal
A Blind Love, by @lotus0kid
Best “Missing Years” Fic
True Love, by @djlouat
Leaving Storybrooke, by @peacehopeandrats
Best Argument (Angst)
How Do You Sleep?, by @ifishouldvanish
The Casualties of War, by @thatravenclawbitch
Together Again, by @worryinglyinnocent
SPECIAL CATEGORIES
Best Golden Lace
Nighthawks, Morningbirds, by @ifishouldvanish
Lipstick Kisses, by @mareyshelley
I Must Be Warmer Now, by @ifishouldvanish
Best Woven Lace
Opening Lines, by @emospritelet
In From the Cold, by @mrs-stiltskin
Much Ado About Lacey, by @thatravenclawbitch
Best Woven Beauty
Killing Time, by @timelordthirteen
The Awakening, by @joylee56
The World Didn’t End, by @timelordthirteen
En Pointe, by @thatravenclawbitch
Best Background Swanfire
9 to 5, by @phoenixfeatherquill
Fragments of the Past, Glimpses of Tomorrow, by @wierdogal
Best Afterlife Fic
The Heart of a Hero, by @mrs-stiltskin
Partners Beyond the Grave, by @wierdogal
Best Crack!Fic
Everyone Needs a Hobby, by @woodelf68
Pop!, by @barpurplewrites
Storybrooke Marblelympics, by @kelyon
Best Drama
Opening Lines, by @emospritelet
Heartstrings, by Dragonbat
Best Supernatural
Lack of Reflection, by @barpurplewrites
A Safe Place, by @lotus0kid
How Soon Is Now?, by @nerdrumple
Imp Mansion, by @gwenore
Endless, by @mareyshelley
Best Sci-Fi
Relative Earth, by @maplesyrupao3
Hatched, by @maplesyrupao3
Best Horror
In Lovelier Colours, by @mareyshelley
Promised, by @maplesyrupao3
The Wolves Were Always Lurking, by @ishtarelisheba
In Dreams of Him, by @mareyshelley
Best Creature AU
The Deal, by @thestraggletag
Nephila, by @kelyon
The Deepest Roots, by @mareyshelley
The Pharaoh and His Priestess, by @wierdogal
In Dreams of Him, by @mareyshelley
Best Unexpected Twist
An Unknown Road, by @lotus0kid
The Image of Her, by @mareyshelley
A Real Hero, by @lotus0kid
Best Bobby Squared
Love in the Highlands, by @worryinglyinnocent
Fragments of the Past, Glimpses of Tomorrow, by @wierdogal
Best Trope
Battles and Skirmishes, by @thatravenclawbitch
The Golden Veil, by @maplesyrupao3
Wrong Room, Dr. Rush, by @theoneandonlylittlebird
The Good Alpha, by @cannibalisticshadows
Best Meta
25 Fucking Stupid Writing Choices OUAT Made, by @celticheartedfangirl
EVENTS
Rumbelle Secret Santa
The Long Road, by @thestraggletag
He Thought it Said “SATAN”, by @idesignedthefjords
Eat Your Words, by @killingkueen
Witness Protection, by @eirian-houpe
Home for Christmas, by @boushh2187
This Rough Magic, by @0ceanofdarkness
Year Walk, by @nerdrumple
The Deepest Roots, by @mareyshelley
Rumbelle Christmas in July
Teach Us Something Please, by @b-does-the-write-thing
The Runaway Ringmaster, by @lotus0kid
The Deal, by @thestraggletag
A Tradition to Remember, by @prissyhalliwell
Monthly Rumbelle (Non-smut)
Love in the Highlands, by @worryinglyinnocent
Number Twenty-Six, by @worryinglyinnocent
Monthly Rumbelle (Smut)
Behind the Mask, by @worryinglyinnocent
Real Life and Fantasy, by @worryinglyinnocent
Rumbelle Monsterfuckers Ball
Nephila, by @kelyon
By the Fire of My Heart, by @cannibalisticshadows
Rumbelle Big Bang
In a Dreaming Place, by @sieben9
Much Ado About Lacey, by @thatravenclawbitch
Fine Print, by @prissyhalliwell
CHARACTER AWARDS
Best Belle
Human Nature, by @thestraggletag
Spin Me a Tale, by @ifishouldvanish
Best Dark One!Belle
The Plus One, by @joylee56
The Spinner in Chains, by @mrs-stiltskin
Best AU Belle
The Runaway Ringmaster, by @lotus0kid
Honourable Members, by @emospritelet
Best Lacey
Command Me to Be Well, by @magnoliatattoo
Lipstick Kisses, by @mareyshelley
Best Detective Weaver
Doppelgänger, by @celticheartedfangirl
First, do no harm, by @iatethebiscuit
En Pointe, by @thatravenclawbitch
Killing Time, by @timelordthirteen
Best Dark One
Soul Deep, by @barpurplewrites
Kiss, by @nerdrumple
Best Mr. Gold
Blind Faith, by @maplesyrupao3
The Champion, by @lotus0kid
A Visit From St. Nick, by @betweenpaperpages
Best AU!Gold/Rumple
How Soon Is Now?, by @nerdrumple
Neverland, by @emospritelet
Best Spinner!Rumple
The Plus One, by @joylee56
Finding Home, by @thecompletebookworm
Best Woobie!Rumple
Number Twenty-Six, by @worryinglyinnocent
Human Nature, by @thestraggletag
Best Wish!Rumple
Under Dark Skies, by @mareyshelley
Best Baelfire/Neal
Flying High, by @ryik-the-writer
Bae and the Bear and the Bow, by @wierdogal
Best Gideon
Best Beloveds, by @woodelf68
Put Me In, Coach, by @mariequitecontrarie
Best OC Rumbelle Child
Jenny, from Accidental Magic, by @woodelf68
Oliver, from The Unresolved, by @of-princes-and-savages
ART
Best Fan Art
Come back to me, by @virgidearie
Belle with a bouquet of Rumples, by @staypee
Rumbelle with Baby Gideon, by @cocoadrops
The Library, by @virgidearie
“don’t worry pop, I’ll take care of mom until you two meet again.” by @nropay
Rumbelle Family Seasonal Doodle, by @cocoadrops
Best Cover Art
Human Nature, by @paradigmparadoxical
Take Me Away, by @nropay
Golden Cuffs, by @paradigmparadoxical
Best Graphic Art (GIFs)
Have You Ever Been in Love?, by @timelordthirteen
Telephone speech from 2x16, by @agentsphilinda
Come Back to Me, by @virgidearie
Fine Print gifset, by @bisexualbelle
365 Days of Rumbelle, by @timelordthirteen
Much Ado About Lacey gifset, by @desperatemurph
The Library, by @virgidearie
Best Graphic Art (Still Images)
Touch Him So Help Me, by @jenitosam
Taking a break from building their home, by @staypee
Best AU in Art
2019 Goop!Rumple, by @dekujin
RumMARBeLle Date, by @wayamy
Power Game, by @virgidearie
Mer!Rumple with a Mer!Belle, by @foxmurphy
Much Ado About Lacey gifset, by @desperatemurph
Fine Print gifset, by @bisexualbelle
Best Fluff Art
Breakfast for Two, by @virgidearie
Rumbelle with Santa Hats, by @cocoadrops
The Pretty Librarian, by @virgidearie
Rumbelle with Baby Gideon, by @cocoadrops
Best Angsty Art
Hold Me, by @virgidearie
Because of course he kept her bones, by @staypee
I miss you -- We miss you, too, son, by @virgidearie
Best Smutty Art
Steamy, by @virgidearie
Reflection, by @virgidearie
Best Comic/Graphic Novel
Because of course he kept her bones, by @staypee
Touch Him So Help Me, by @jenitosam
Best Dark One Form
Real Inside Rumple holding Belle back, by @dekujin
Glitch!Rumple, by @nropay
Best Use of Color
Take Me Away illustrations, by @nropay
2019 Goop!Rumple, by @dekujin
Papafire Art (I’ll find you Bae), by @nropay
Best Video
Someone You Loved, by @desperatemurph
Fragments of the Past, Glimpses of Tomorrow video, by @fangirlgeeksstuff
Best Artist
@cocoadrops
@jenitosam
@ripperblackstaff
@virgidearie
@rumpledspinster
@staypee
@timelordthirteen
Best New Artist
@paradigmparadoxical
BEST AUTHOR
@b-does-the-write-thing
@barpurplewrites
@mareyshelley
@of-princes-and-savages
@emospritelet
@worryinglyinnocent
@wierdogal
@timelordthirteen
@maplesyrupao3
BEST NEW AUTHOR
@kelyon
@shadowedoracle
BEST RUMBELLE FIC
Fine Print, by @prissyhalliwell
More Precious Than Silver, by @bad-faery
BEST ANYELLE FIC
If Only for a Moment, by @ifishouldvanish
Questions and Kisses, by @worryinglyinnocent
Hatched, by @maplesyrupao3
Hamish is Sir Rum’s Storybrooke Persona, by @lotus0kid
Need, by @worryinglyinnocent
Honourable Members, by @emospritelet
Belle meets Hamish at the Stag Bar, by @lotus0kid
BEST ANYEM FIC
Lacey has concerns about Danny’s suits, by @lotus0kid
Bloody Lace, by @of-princes-and-savages
I’m So Done With This, My Love, by @thatravenclawbitch
Rumbelle Fandom Lifetime Achievement Award
@ifishouldvanish
@emospritelet
@timelordthirteen
@desperatemurph
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Camp Nano July 2020 - Results, Discussion, and Conclusion
the Like, wow, Scoob!
Camp Nano July 2020 is done, and here are some thoughts:
I always knew that writing a comic script was going to be a learning experience - I’ve never written a comic script so it really couldn’t be anything except for a learning experience - but hoooooo boy, was it ever!
Before starting I couldn’t find anything on how long comic scripts normally are; I don’t know why, that just seems information that isn’t really shared? (If anyone knows of a resource, please send it to me!) I’m guessing it has a lot to do with there just being less comic writers than there are say, book writers and movie writers. That’s probably what happens when your interests are niche in some way, it’s just harder to find anything about them.
FORTUNATELY, I have the fancy library-bound volumes of The Sandman, and there’s excerpts of the scripts in the back. Which like… thank you @neil-gaiman, or whoever made that decision, because being able to look at an actual script and see how it’s formatted and what’s included has been the biggest help. Even the “How to Write a Comic Script!” videos I found on YouTube didn’t have example scripts which... I don’t know, I don’t get it. Please include examples, comic YouTubers. I am confusion.
Now is the time for a sexy graph, because we are the kind of people who keep Excel spreadsheets of word counts and make graphs for fun.
Anyway, let’s look at…
youtube
[Good. I was listening to As The World Falls Down by David Bowie over and over, and now this is stuck in my head again. I don’t know why I do these things to myself. Also, I love Peter Tork’s face during some of the “AAAHHHH”s lol]
I can’t remember if I stated this before or during Camp at any point, but my goal was 60k words. I dislike aspiring for un-round numbers like “1667″ every day. Any number I could possibly pick is arbitrary, but for some reason the classic Nanowrimo number of 1667 seems even more arbitrary. “2000″ is a much better number. And, I can generally write 2000 words in two hours before running out of steam, so it works out well. It also divides better.
Having said that, you might be thinking, “Theda, the end Actual number on your graph is a lot closer to 90k than it is 60k,” and you would be right, good eyes. Were I Brandon Sanderson and you were one of my students, I would toss you a gummi bear. As it is, you’re not my student and I have no gummi bears and I’m not even Brandon Sanderson… so life is just upsetting I guess.
[But I am back to listening to As The World Falls Down, so I suppose it all works out.]
Back to the graph: The Actual. Look at this wavy-fucking-scalloped-fucking progression. Look at it. I can’t tell if it makes me happy or angry or what, but I know it gives me some kind of feeling. I think I like it from a purely aesthetic point of view, but from the point of the view of the person who made it, it annoys me.
I had a couple of days where I - in my infinite stupidity - didn’t really elaborate on what was supposed to happen in some of the scenes in my scene list and so I spent my “Writing!” time (as it’s labeled in my planner) not writing, but looking at the page cursing myself for not having written any directions for me, a directionless person.
You may also notice that the Goal bars suddenly jump up on the 24th day,. That’s because - in my infinite wisdom - I redid my goals after reaching 60k. It just makes more sense to me to be like, “Well, I punched that goal in the face. Let’s try and go WAY overboard,” because I have the Too Much gene and as Henry Rollins says: “Don't do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.” I wouldn’t say that’s a personal philosophy so much as a Thing I Am Compelled To Do Or I Will Die.
But that’s just me.
As for the trend line, I prefer it looking more steep because that’s way more gratifying, but that’s what I get for writing parts of my scene list like, “That’s okay, Future Me will take care of it!” Past Me, you are a dick and you need to stop doing these things. You are a bastard.
Now for the table!
[I’m sorry if that’s very small.]
And this time I’m showing you the actual table I use to write down my words. Complicated? Yes. Sexy? Very yes. A little annoying? Also yes. Do we get a little worried that she works too hard and refuses to take a vacation? We do, but we also know that she does it because she loves her work, and we love and support her and bring her snacks throughout the workday to keep her going. What a great table.
First of all: Yes, my first writing block is at 4am. It’s because I have a day job and if I write from 4-6 I can use my brain right when it’s freshly slumbered instead of using it for nonsense at work all day and being unable to write and aggravated because my mental capacity is nil and I no longer know what words are. In an ideal world I would be able to write all day but, here we are.
You might notice there’s a lot of 0’s in the 4am block, especially in the fourth week, and that’s more so because - in my infinite infiniteness (infinity?) - I am secretly an ice giant (but like, smaller) and it’s summer and the northern hemisphere is Too Hot and I literally will not be able to sleep at night until about December. Until then, I am forced to understand what it’s like to be a jacket potato for half of the year so I can empathize with their starchy pain because this is, for whatever reason, Important.
It me. (Recipe)
Anyway,
My record day was 7519 on the 10th, which is just sexy and fun and cool and everything we want, and my lowest was a big fat 0 on the 16th.
I felt super motivated for reasons I don’t remember on the 10th. This is because I didn’t have my planner yet and was not keeping notes anywhere else at that time. (It’s an undated Daily Passion Planner, in case you’re also a slut for planners and wish to know ;) ). I think I was trying to do a 10k day just for funzies? Which, technically, at 2k words in 2 hours I should be able to do 10k in 5, but cell phones exist (and are too distracting), and until I shed my corporeal form I still have to do things like “make food and eat it,” and “get up to pee,” and “experience all the vagaries and horrors of human existence.” I’m hoping it clears up soon.
The 16th was the day that Future Me took Past Me by the hand and said, “My good bitch, you need to stop doing that thing where you leave shit for me because you run out of motivation or executive function or whatever the fuck is happening where you decide you don’t want to do something anymore, seemingly at random. You deciding to leave school before the day even started because you were bored may have been cute when you were a kid - and also annoying for everyone around you, and just alarming that time they had to pry your hands off the door molding as you held on to it and screamed - but as an adult you are both the cause of and the person who has to deal with this bullshit, and you need to stop.”
On the 16th I went to the Shrine of the Self (sorry, I’ve been reading a lot of manga lately) and made an offering for forgiveness, and then hunkered down and added a TON of notes and partially written scenes to my scene list. You can see how much that helped; it’s almost like having direction is actually useful, lol.
BUT, despite all that direction and despite punching my goal in the face, breaking it’s glasses, and taking it’s lunch money, the script is not finished!
Here’s some math as of the 23rd:
There are 124 points in my outline
On the 23rd, I had completed 44 of those points, at 363 pages or 59,601 words
124 / 44 = 2.81
Now we check: 44 * 2.81 = 123.6 (close enough)
So as of the 23rd, the projection for completing the script was:
363 * 2.81 = 1,020 pages
59,601 * 2.81 = 157,479 words
Now, I don’t know what the fuck that means because I don’t really do numbers, but at the time of the 23rd it looked an awful lot like I wasn’t going to finish this Camp project. And uh… hey, that was correct.
So I’m going to be continuing Camp Nano July 2020, but also in August 2020, over about 20 more days (providing I hit my goal every day.)
So:
IF -> I need to get up to 158,000; 158,000 - 86,000 = 72,000 words need to be written.
(I'm rounding the total up because I canNOT imagine this script being somehow smaller than that at this point, and I’m rounding my Camp total down because who cares about 72 words?)
I divided 72,000 from a few numbers until I got a word goal I was okay with, that I think I can do, here’s that one: 72,000 / 20 days = 3,600 words a day
(This would mean I can either do 2k in the morning and then 1600 later, or the reverse. You know, whatever way I feel spicy that day.)
THEN -> I need to write 3,600 words a day for 20 days to (hopefully) finish this script before work picks up at the end of August.
And then I’ll chill from the end of August - October (except for maybe some short stories or essays. I have a lot of Thoughts and they need to be purged from my brain for my own good). And then I’ll use Nanowrimo Classic (November) to edit this fucker.
SO… that’s some stuff.
As I said at the beginning this endeavor was only ever going to be a learning experience. Having to write 158k words total doesn’t scare me, the longest thing I’ve written yet was something like 190k words. Trying to finish it before the end of August is the daunting part. Especially since being able to be creative right now just keeps making my brain puke out more ideas, and then there’s too many ideas and I’m just writing them all down and hopefully I can get to them later.
Anyway, good job on Camp Nano July 2020 everyone! We did it!
And if you didn’t do it: don’t worry, you’ll do it next time :D
#camp nano july 2020#camp nanowrimo#camp nano 2020#writing comics#neil gaiman#The Sandman#I was hoping to listen to the Audiobook when this was done but I guess I still have to wait#look at this grAAAph#excel#spreadsheet#nano graph#as the world falls down#Words#David Bowie#The Monkees#peter tork#brandon sanderson#too bad I can't give my students gummi bears over the internet lol#you're doing amazing sweetie#4am writing club#jacket potato#i like that the link says potat instead lol#one day I'll manage another 10k Day for funzeis#Shrine of the Self#math#me at math: I don't even GO here#bullying my goals#this update is four pages btw#learning experience#now for 72k in 20 days lol
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The other day an anti was yelling at me because I criticized the intention of their fic. It was tagged as Sterek, but then proceeded to make Stiles and Derek woefully out of character while Scott became the protagonist. I pointed out that this is what antis do and made a list of ways to spot a scott stan fic that’s labeled as Sterek for hits.
The author was upset, which, understandable, but instead of just saying they were offended, they decided to pull the tactic of presenting new information like it was a) known, and b) had anything to do with the context of what was said.
He mentioned that it wasn’t right to criticize his writing (which I didn’t do) because he was recovering from a brain injury and how DARE I abuse the mentally and physically incapacitated?!He expected me to feel shame, but what he forgot is much like every Craigslist scam, his ploy is over-saturated.
The need of antis to say “Well I don’t like X, so… IF YOU DO LIKE X YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON!” is so played and they all do it across the board. “Well, I’m not saying you can’t like Sterek, Stiles, Peter, etc. Heck, I like them! Just know that if you prioritize them over Scott (read, acknowledge them in any way and you know… like them) then that’s indicative of being complicit in racist, homophobic and misogynistic tropes (read: you suck)” *shrugs*
And because we internalize everything, we really do take the time to consider if we’re racist and in that time they’ve shamed four more people into their way of thinking that’s ultimately wrong and certainly not universal.
Which leads me to this post^^.
The idea of Scott being “stupid” has always been a fun trope. His little slip-ups were reminders that he was still human, still a kid. He was an underdog trying to be a hero despite his hormones, his reluctance and his lack of general knowledge on the Supernatural. We’re not expecting Scott to be a Rhodes scholar, he doesn’t need to be, THAT’S WHAT HE HAS STILES AND LYDIA FOR!
The idea that Scott has to be a genius has never been present in anyone’s minds except the antis, who also seem to be the only ones who take umbrage with the fact that he’s not a genius. He was never meant to be, doesn’t he have enough on his plate? So to try and push the idea that a) he’s a genius and b) you’re racist if you think he’s not, when canon rightly shows us the opposite, is hypocritical.
Sure, go ahead and write your AU’s where super scientist Scott saves the day, but know that it will be an AU and again, the only one offended is you.
Let’s take a look at this post:
Seriously, nothing pisses me off more than the taken for granted assumption that Scott is stupid when we have nothing BUT evidence to the contrary.
I will point out that many of the examples reach so far as to credit villains who sarcastically think Scott is smart. Like… nagl sis.
1) His vocabulary in the PILOT has him casually dropping words like ‘litigious’ in the appropriate context.
His dad is in the FBI and Stiles dad is a sheriff, I’m sure he’d know the word litigious. But okay, vocab, it’s a good indicator, I hope not ephemerally.
2) His teachers are concerned his grades SLIPPED dramatically after he was bitten. Grades can’t slip unless they were higher to begin with.
I mean, high C’s to are a thing? I don’t know that we ever know his grades, and I know people that will fight him being in AP bio (apparently freshman were in the same class as college level seniors? Mmkay), but it’s canon they slipped. HE WAS FIGHTING MONSTERS! I think the biggest indicator in this point is the fact there never seemed to be any proactive planning. McCall pack was very reactionary where Hale Pack was a bit more proactive. I don’t know if that is an indicator of intelligence, at least not entirely.
3) Peter (freaking PETER) says ‘I continue to be impressed by your ingenuity Scott’ after Scott engineers an interruption of his date with Melissa, sets off Allison’s car alarm to get her away from him, etc.
Yeah, this one… nagl, lol!
4) Figures out Gerard is sick, expects betrayal from him and takes countermeasures.
Now, maybe I don’t remember this, but… didn’t Gerard cough up blood? And the countermeasures were a long drawn out plan to kill him using Derek so… I don’t know how smart any of that is, but sure. He’s a long form strategist. On his own.
5) Sees his grades visibly rise the second he sets them as a priority again.
Like literally everyone ever? And this only lasted until the next monster. He has an innate inability to multitask.
6) He’s half dead on a bus in 3A, literally DYING from self-imposed guilt negating his ability to heal, and he’s still acing his SAT vocab prep questions.
Scott’s guilt thing made zero sense, especially since y’all don’t subscribe it to him using Derek to try and kill Gerard, but whatevs, sure, this is smart. I didn’t study for my SAT’s (still got 1490/1600 w00t!) but I’m sure distracting yourself from your guilt really helps you focus.
Maybe though, and this is just a thought, even going on the trip knowing he has a lot of loose ends to tie up wasn’t such a good idea?
7) As a sixteen year old, is shown being familiar with even advanced veterinary techniques, and wearing gloves and in front of an array of beakers and test tubes is shown examining a dog’s stool and finding the source of his illness (the mistletoe he ingested). Like, consider that for a second - Stiles connects threads on his whiteboards and is a detective. Scott whips out some forensic investigation shit and is stupid. LOL like what even? CHECK YOURSELF FANDOM.
That’s his job, he was trained. Stiles’ is his hobby. But again, you’re the only one making this comparison. The inability of Scott stans to just like Scott for Scott is kind of bewildering. And yeah some people are more science minded so there’s something to be said for his diagnostic skills. I don’t see Stiles as having an keen interest in actual medical sciences so sure, Scott has that up on him.
But again, book smarts and street smarts aren’t the same. Scott has one and Stiles has the other, this is why they’re partners. They’re not opposites though, they’re yin and yang. Stiles has the tactical and strategic skills while Scott is the braun and the leadership. He assesses threats and then delegates others to take action. That’s what a leader does.
8) Actually DOES his assigned reading, and quotes Heart of Darkness, rattles off about Greek myths and monsters, etc.
I mean… he’s a student, but ok.
9) Gets a B in AP Bio before shit starts going down in 5A and only considers dropping it because he’s back to prioritizing staying all night at the school to try and stop mad scientists from killing a teenage girl instead of studying at home.
But some of his protection methods and ideas (like using said teenage girl as bait without telling her) are not the smartest.
And again, they’re not supposed to be, because Scott McCall is not infallible. He’s a teenager and still human. He’s trying to make due with what he has. The problem is you see “Scott is stupid” and then you turn tail and run. You miss all the things about how he has a big heart and rises to action despite constant obstacles.
Nope, you look at one thing and then you call anyone who would dare… not even to disagree with you, but not agree with you 100%, a racist? How is that acceptable or ok? Why do you get to make the rules for everyone’s experience?
I always say, be the change you want to see. If you and your buddies spent more time creating content that wasn’t petty and vindictive, you’d see your numbers rise. But no one wants to be a part of a group whose sole existence relies on pouring hateful energy into a white boy. Scott fans love Scott. And if you did too, maybe you’d be able to engage more. But this idea that Scott fans have to love only Scott and the way that you say to love them is outlandish. And -not to invoke Godwin’s law too strongly- kinda totalitarian.
Get it together, y’all.
#fandom racism#teen wolf#scott mccall is stupid#and that's fine#he's also sweet and caring and well intentioned and adorbs and strong and and and#so blow me antis#I'll like Scott how I want
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Qcard 222? Pleeeeeeeeeease? :D
Happy to oblige, dear anon - thank you for the prompt! I apologise for this taking me a little bit - I’m trying to organise moving house, which is an absolute ordeal!
Welcome to 1600 words of feels for your patience, my friend, and the deliberate misdirection of what you’d probably expect from this prompt. I thoroughly enjoyed creating this, and hope you love reading it just as much! =)
22. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”
Prompt list here: http://celestialwarzone.tumblr.com/post/179662102941/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you
It was blissfully quiet in Picard’s quarters; soft breath was all thatcut through the air, the sleeping Captain’s mind at utter ease. By his side, Q’slips curled into a silent smile; it was majestic to watch this ineffable humanat peace, his diplomacy, quick wit and brilliant intelligence switched off byhis own biology. Jean-Luc Picard soared above his species, courageous enough tobegin affairs with gods, stubborn enough to keep such matters private from hiscrew, and far too delightful to watch in their afterglow.
He wasn’t welcome after hours, he knew – “I wouldn’t want you to getthe wrong impression, Q,” he’d murmured several weeks earlier, everthe diplomat. Too late, dearest, Q had acknowledged, onlyslightly bitter – the man was far too enthralling to ever be truly irritatedby, and he was vastly too enamoured to maintain the illusion of being so. Itwas an arrangement of convenience, a way in which to satiate the entity’sconstant desire to play god upon his vessel. It didn’t mean anything – well,not to one of them, at least.
Made something ofa rod for your own back there, didn’t you? His subconsciousdrawled. A billion lifetimes of cosmic awareness, and you still thought thatengaging in intercourse with a transient mortal you’re in love with was amagnificent idea. And you mock theirstupidity.
Q sighed wearily, in desperate need of a distraction from his personalself-deprecation; quietly, he slipped into the dreams of his lover, knowingthat whilst it was invasive, Jean-Luc would hold no great qualms with the act.
Picard was relaxed, sun beating down upon his handsome features from aworn sun lounger that perched upon the hill above his family’s vineyard. Qglanced down at him in fond amusement, vexed.
“Honestly, Johnny – who dreams of being asleep?”
The Frenchman’s eyes wrenched open within his own mind, startled.
“Q?” He demanded in bewilderment. “What on earth – is thistelepathy? Am I still asleep? What are you doing here?!”
“Yes, yes, being intrigued,” the deity replied softly, smirking. “Doyou want me to leave?”
The ‘get out’ lingered on Picard’s tongue for a long moment,before he gave a sigh of relent.
“As long as you don’t intend to be irritating, and I get the requiredrest, then no.” He shoved his spine into the back of the lounger, calming. Hismind hummed with disapproval, accepting nevertheless, and Q basked in itstangible glow; the sun held real warmth in the mysticism of the mental space,the experience as true to its beholder as the actual world would have been.
“I shall be a paragon of virtue, my dear,” the entity assured himmildly, conjuring a recliner of his own and easing into it.
“First time for everything,” Picard drawled, unconvinced.
Q gave a silent grin, summoning a frosted glass of iced tea to sip;they basked in silence for a little while, simply enjoying the ambience of aFrench summer, the god fully absorbed in the tantalising, indistinct psyche ofhis companion. It was a marvel, the resonant peace he’d managed to acquire justbeing beside him – any real period of inactivity had always had Q itching todiscover something new, to create havoc, yet he was entirely content to existquietly beside this enigma of a human.
Missionaccomplished, he noted miserably. Sleeping with me haseradicated my desire to entertain your precious crew.
“You hated this place,” he murmured, more to hush his damning owndamning assessment. “Why would you return to it in dreams, when the universe isyour oyster? You are as omnipotent as I am, here.”
Picard’s lips pursed pensively, smile fading as quickly as it hadarisen.
“Saudade,” he murmured. “Something lost, which can never bereclaimed – in this instance, a time when things weren’t always perfect, butfar simpler.”
Oh, I remember,Q mused inwardly, only his mastery of telepathy keeping his thoughts personalin his lover’s domain. I only wish I’d recall well enough to abandon you –but, then, I never was one for self-preservation. Too dramatic, you see.
“Mm,” he muttered noncommittally, simply to fill the void.
Picard rose a surprised brow at the lack of quirky reply, gauging thesituation for a moment.
“I doubt my need for relaxation this evening stems from anything that Ishould be overly concerned about.”
“No?” Q summoned a cushion for the back of his head, placing it in afluid movement as he tried to appear as though he didn’t hang permanently offthe man’s every word.
“I think not. I’m sure the individual that I have appealed to is on thesame page as I am.”
Q turned onto his side to stare, following the line of cryptic thoughtwith equal vagueness.
“Well, hopefully. I could check, if you like? It would hardly be beyondme.”
“No, no, it will be quite alright, I’m certain.��� Picard’s gaze returnedto the ambling vineyards. “I just don’t understand, you see, becausethey knew the whole time. I was never anything other than upfront.”
Something very similar to foreboding crept up Q’s spine.
“Perhaps they do know,” he murmured, “though, of course, knowing doesn’tmake something personally applicable.”
“Doesn’t agreement?”
“Potentially. That rather depends on who we’re discussing, doesn’t it?”
Picard’s eyes wrenched back to his, their irritation clear.
“I’ve seen the way you look at me, when you think I don’t notice.” Hiswords were little more than a whisper, though they held the sharpness ofmidwinter. “Like I’m comprised of, of… stardust, of the finest jewels… asthough I’m something – wonderful.”
Q gave a bark of a bitter chuckle, gaze taut, his tea cast aside with aswipe of his hand.
“You mortals are so obtuse,” he murmured, deliberately glancing away,the vines before him blurring just slightly. “You spend so much of your livesdealing with the physical, the tangible to your limited senses, that you forgethow much more there is, that there are things far beyond your comprehension.You’re human, Jean-Luc – oxygen, hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, calcium, a handfulmore; seventy percent water, five foot nine, French… really quite dull, by yourpeople’s standards, though highly intelligent, and rather handsome to boot. Youlive an average life, on an average vessel, in a largely uninteresting timeperiod – by rights, you shouldn’t fascinate anyone, much less a god.”
He conjured a holographic star system, a miniature Captain floating atits heart, a bright smile gracing his lips. The real thing watched, entranced,unwilling to give away a damned thing.
“But we’re all more than the sum of our parts, aren’t we dear?” His ownsmile was tired as he regarded the hologram. “You’re brilliantly clever, morethan willing to stand up someone so beyond your capacity it’s laughable… yourise above the morons you exist beside. A diplomat, a man of honour, wisdom,passion… you are wonderful. You match me word-for-word, never bore me, alwaysprove a challenge – and you care, on whatever level it may be. You askme how my day’s been when I don’t even have a concept of linear time, how theContinuum’s doing. No one does that, you know. I’m acquainted with billions,Jean-Luc, and none of them mean a damned thing in comparison. Innumerate stars,planets, phenomena, people, timescales, and it all reduces to you.”
The tiny cosmos retracted to nothingness in Q’s palm, leaving the simulatedCaptain alone, still regarding his magician as though he was the world. Picardstared, breathless, his relaxing dream quite forgotten.
“My point is, you’re the tiniest pinprick of existence – you aren’t anewly formed sun, an unexplored M-class system, the first inklings of a highlyadvanced race upon an untouched world… physically, you’re worthless.”
He smiled morosely, trembling fingers causing his illusion to flicker;his eyes finally deigned to meet his lover’s, burning with emotion.
“But by the Continuum, and all we are, you are the universe tome.”
Picard choked back tears, visibly compromised.
“I…” He swallowed quietly, struggling to regain his usually impeccablecomposure. “This was never meant to – I told you – ”
“Oh, I know.” Q shook his head just slightly, the lament clear. “If ithelps, it isn’t your fault, Jean-Luc. You really were perfectly upfront.”
He paused, essence threatening to shatter, gaze drilling into the human’s.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No,” Picard murmured immediately, understanding that the offer wasn’tunique to his dream, “but I need… time, Q. Perhaps the concept of the cosmoshasn’t only narrowed for you, my friend.”
A thrill shot through the god’s spirit, and he barely suppressed abeam, instead settling for a soft smile – gods only knew he didn’t wish toappear smug.
“Alright.” He breathed softly, delight curling through his spirit. “Igenuinely didn’t think –”
“Nor me, but apparently you’ve somehow wormed your way in,” Picardadmitted dryly, warm expression belying his caustic tone. “I’m… willing toconsider the notion, Q, but that’s all I can offer as yet. There will be rules,of course –”
“Naturally.” The sarcasm held no bite whatsoever, distant starsexhausting their chemical supply under his joy. “It is you, after all.”
Their gazes drifted to the vineyard, both comfortably silent for a longmoment even as the question itched at Q’s mind.
“So, Captain, how long do you think –?”
“Q,” Picard interrupted coolly, “shut up. I’m trying tosleep.”
He leaned back against the lounger and closed his eyes, his loverlaughing softly.
“There isn’t anyone else in this universe I’d stay quiet for, you know.”
An eyelid partly opened, its look humbled – the cynical, desperatelyhopeful part of Q could almost call it tender.
“I’m glad.”
By mutual agreement, they reached out a hand, lacing them together,grins identical as they simply basked in the ambience of rural France, and thecontentment of being united.
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How Perfect You Are- Tom Holland One Shot
Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader
Prompt: After a rough day, Tom’s there to cheer you up.
Word Count: 1600
Warnings!!: cyberbullying, mentions of anxiety, self-image issues/slut shaming
Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist
*Gif is not mine*
A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for a couple months now, and it was written way before the rumors (because nothing has been confirmed by him yet) of Tom having a girlfriend. Respect Tom’s privacy and do not send hate to him or any of the people he is connected to, romantically or otherwise.
~~~
It was a rough day. Like a really rough day.
It seemed like every single uni assignment was due this week, and work was just the worst. You had a raging migraine, and your boss even offered to call someone in early to cover you, but you refused. You needed the hours, you needed the money, you didn’t need the constant searing pain on the top of your skull like someone was trying to pierce through it with a knife.
But you pushed through until you got home. The house was silent, just like the past few nights whenever you arrived home. Tom knew you had a lot of school work to do, so he tried to stay clear of your way. Earlier this week, he attempted to keep to himself in the living room while you worked in your shared room, but he found himself wandering into the bedroom periodically. He had been away filming for months, only to return during one of the most stressful parts of your school year- midterms. He just wanted to hold you, be with you in any way he could, but that was just distracting you and he knew it.
So he made himself busy at Harrison’s place for a few hours every night. It gave you enough time to buckle down and focus on your work, with him coming home shortly before the two of you went to bed. It was hard, but midterms were a bitch and Tom wasn’t about to help you with your fifteen page paper among other essays.
When the clock struck 11 pm, you knew Tom would be home soon and that you should probably stop working in a sad attempt to help your migraine. You changed into your pajamas (which consisted of one of Tom’s t-shirts and your own pajama shorts) and continued to go through your nightly routine. Laying down in the king-size bed, you snuggled down into the warm sheets. As tired as you were, you couldn’t fall asleep until Tom came home, knowing he’d be on his way shortly- after all, Harrison’s home wasn’t far from yours.
Waiting in your comfortably warm bed, you began to scroll through Instagram, wondering what you could have missed in the endless hours of you being offline for studying and work. You smiled to yourself when you realized Harrison had a saved Instagram live posted. Your smile grew even wider once you clicked on it and Tom appeared on the screen beside him. The time stamp of the video showed it was from an hour ago.
They were goofing about, being their normal selves and answering some questions from the comments. One question in particular caught your attention as a fan asked if you and Tom were still together- wow, so much for privacy.
“Yes, we are. She’s studying right now, working very, very hard. I love her loads, so yeah, of course we’re still together.” Tom laughed, almost disbelieving a fan would actually ask such an oddly invasive question. As Harrison continued on and answered another question, you began to read the comments that were drifting over the screen.
‘Can’t believe Tom’s still dating her’,‘They’ve got to be fake- there’s no way Tom would date someone like her’, ‘Tom’s really got bad taste’, the comments kept coming through for the next few minutes. Your eyes shifted to rest on Tom’s face, who seemed rather unbothered, like he hadn’t been reading those hurtful words that not only mocked him, but you and your relationship as a whole.
The live didn’t last long after that. You were grateful that there were no more questions about you specifically. Tom would mention you here and there, but he always did that. You were his favorite thing to talk about (except maybe, you were tied with Tessa) and so he struggled to not constantly gush over you.
You both knew when you started dating, almost 2 years ago now, that you’d be opening your life up to criticism. You were all for bettering yourself and hearing the opinions of other people, but that was with constructive criticism to help you become a better person, not crazy fans that hated you for no legitimate reason. It was definitely a challenge, but you kept your social media all private, only allowing people you know to follow you, like any normal 23 year old would do. Tom tried to keep his posts of you to a minimum, just sometimes he couldn’t help it. He loved you, and he wanted to show you off to the world; however, he did acknowledge the uncomfortable position it put you in.
It wasn’t like you hated his fans, no you loved them. There were some, though, that you didn’t appreciate, and you felt justified feeling that way. They were just upset over seeing their idol be “taken” by you- at least, that’s what you told yourself. You constantly had to remind yourself that no, you were not fat like they said; no, you were not stupid like they said; no, you were not ugly like they said; no, you were not undeserving of Tom like they said. You were you, and you were a great person, you liked yourself.
That was the mindset most nights, but tonight was not one of those nights.
Everything was stressing you out, your anxiety certainly was not in check. Those comments did nothing to improve your mental state, and yet you still found yourself on Tom’s account, looking at the pictures he had up of you, looking at the comments underneath them specifically.
‘Attention whore’, ‘cover up slut’, ‘her dress looks like vomit’, ‘why is Tom dating her’, ‘she doesn’t deserve him’, ‘their relationship cannot be real’. Each comment stung, yet you couldn’t pull yourself away from reading through them over and over again. Your vision began to get blurry from the tears that had welled up in your eyes. You rubbed your eyes, trying to hold yourself together, and threw the phone away from you- you didn’t care where it landed, it just couldn’t be near you.
“Ow!” Tom shouted, and you immediately removed the hand from covering your eyes.
“Tom?” Your voice came out as more of a pathetic squeak. He turned on the light and you could see he was rubbing his knee, where you assumed your phone had hit him.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just got in.” He said, placing your phone on the bed and beginning to change into his own pajamas.
“Oh, no, it’s fine. My bad.” You mumbled. You picked your phone up and took one last look at the Instagram comments.
“Is everything alright?” Tom asked. He turned off the lights and got into bed beside you under the covers. You wordlessly shrugged a little and set your phone on the nightstand beside you. Tom wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer into his warm, bare chest. His brown eyes softened, sensing something was wrong. “What’s going on, love?”
“I’m just stressed.” You replied quietly.
“I know when you’re ‘just stressed’. Something else is bothering you. What is it? You can tell me.” He frowned, his hand coming up to move a few loose hairs out of your face before he rested it on your neck with his thumb gently rubbing your jaw.
“I feel like the whole world hates me. School’s awful, work’s awful. And you get to go hang out with Harrison while I’m drowning in just work, and I feel like a bad girlfriend because you want to spend time with me, but I don’t have time for anything. And then, I go online and I just see all this hate. I know that they’re your fans and you love them, but it’s just so draining. I can’t handle it.” The tears were freely flowing from your eyes at this point. Tom shifted so that you could cry into his chest, and he held you tightly, reassuringly caressing your back as he did so.
“Hey, I love you, more than anything in the world. Don’t feel bad that you can’t spend time with me right now. Midterms and work- that’s your life right now. You’ve always waited for me, so I’m going to wait for you. As long as I get to come home and see your beautiful face every night, I’m perfectly content.” He paused and let out a small sigh, “And as for my fans, I’m sorry. I wish they could just understand. I love you, you are my girlfriend, our relationship is real, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Nothing that they say about you is true. Now, who is the most beautiful, kind-hearted, mesmerizing, brilliant woman I know?”
“Your mum.” You said, muffled by his chest.
“Who? I can’t hear you.” Tom teased. You pulled back to look at him. Despite the dark room only being illuminated by the moonlight creeping through the window and the alarm clock perched behind you, you could still see his kind smile as he looked at you. “Don’t say my mum. Come on, who is it?”
“I am.” You replied, unable to stop the small smile that crept its way onto your face as Tom nodded encouragingly.
“You are the most beautiful, kind-hearted- what else did I say?” He paused with a laugh, realized he’d forgotten his own words.
“Mesmerizing, brilliant?”
“Mesmerizing, brilliant woman I know. There’s just too many adjectives to describe just how perfect you are, darling.”
“I love you.” You smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him.
“I love you, too.”
~~~
Tag List: @viagracex @theamazingtomholland @hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @tomkindholland
Tom Tag List: @quaksonhehe
#tom holland#tom holland one shot#tom holland imagine#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n#tom holland x reader#tom holland fanfic
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Hey! Do you feel up to answer 1,6,8,11 and 16 for the NaNoWriMo Ask Meme?
Hey focusdumbass, I didn’t plan this as ask list and more as list how to set up my information post in a week lol . But don’t worry, I will happily answer. 1. How many times have you done NaNo? This will be my first time. I read about it the first time 2 years ago, maybe a little more but always considered this something incredibly stupid because everything I read was about writing the full novel in a month and I knew I would never be able to pull this off because there is no way I write 1600 words a day for 30 days straight. So I set different goals for NaNo that suit me better.6. What genre are you writing? It will be fantasy with some solarpunk elements. I needed to look up solarpunk to be sure I am right about this, but the big part about it is fantasy.8. Any inspirations? I would say Alice in Wonderland is one. The Tenth Kingdom would also be a good book that subconsciously inspired me to craft the basic plot.11. What are your MCs names? The protagonist’s name is Nesryn and she is a woman in her early thirties. There aren’t real main characters besides her but we have the reoccurring characters that still need names yet. The only one who has a name is her side-kick who goes by Thurash who is a gentle-giant kind of type and got assigned to be her guardian. The other characters will be Thurash’s love interest, a young mage at the academy. The dragon of the city who is also the head of the mage academy, his right hand who is some sort of trickster and the trickster's boyfriend (it’s a gay relationship) and a female mage who will become Nesryn’s friend.16. What’s your MC’s favorite food? Anything with noodles. She really has an unhealthy obsession with noodles.
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Critical criticism criticize
inclined to find fault or to judge with severity, often too readily: parents who are too critical. occupied with or skilled in criticism: one of the great critical journalists. involving skillful judgment as to truth, merit, etc.; judicial: a critical analysis. of or relating to critics or criticism: critical essays
1640s, "to pass judgment (usually unfavorable) on something," from critic + -ize. Meaning "to discuss critically" is from 1660s; that of "to censure, point out defects or faults in" is from 1704. ... The earlier verb for "to criticize" was simply critic (c. 1600), from French critiquer.
Critical crit i cal c rit i cal
Criticism crit ic is m c right is me
Criticize cri it size crictic eyes
Writing the word criticize
Im so bad a thsi it feels not nice to admit to it like i dont want to see me as the person that criticizes everything like the girls I criticize them all the time for what they haven’t or have done im constantly on there case i want me i want more from them thinking if i put them down they might realize what there doing with out seeing realizing and understanding that ive got the problem with being so criticizing to them not thinking what they are doing is good enough
Writing the word criticism
I dont take criticism very well i dont like it it makes me feel stupid a rush of dread comes over me when im being criticism towards me i feel empty i want to move away from the criticism i cant take it and see if there is truth in it can it help me i see this a point of ego fro me my knees especially suffer so this is good i need to realize that maybe not all criticism is good but i can learn about myself within it or another how they might see themselves and only reflection of what they think.
Critical
It’s critical for me to push on with process a best i can so i can be of help to others.
Reading the words critical criticism criticize
Out planet id in a critical stage and i feel confused as what to do and how im letting my mind make me believe thsi is going to be a tough time and not see thsi is whats making me ill looping the mind of fear
Being told im wrong just hurts me why because i see im back at school and i cant do something and i dont take it well as i see theres many things i cant do compared to others and i feel bad about myself for not being bale to do them and i dont wont anymore of it as i see i cant handle it like theres so much stuff how can i get any more worse than what it is already and i say no to myself no more will i live like feeling im not good enough so i dont accept what you say it cant be true no more please you have to be wrong not me anymore i will fight this to the death because i cant do this anymore of not being good enough so i will fight fight fight you until the bitter end why? Because it hurts why I don’t want no more enough why its a heavy load then put it down dont carry it anymore you choose to carry it no one tells you to carry it yes true to hear Bna more will i carry criticism towards me but will use it to help me see myself ot another,
Guilt for all the criticizing i do towards my family mostly how i put them down to feel better about myself i saw thsi when chris does it to me he wants just feel better about himself and not see what must be seen about self so you go into putting it on another because you cant deal with it towards your self and then go into blame why i think the feeling of winning of being better makes you think you are better but your not your just not seeing it within ones self that you’ve got a problem and you need to deal with it and fear come up then that when i see it within chris i see and judge him as being more immature than me and myself better so theres to angles going on here whether i fall for his criticism and get upset ot i then see im as being an immature person for saying such things and why doesn’t he see this is wrong.
Sayin out loud
To be in a critical condition in hospital and may die comes up not wanting to hear these words ever about anybody i know thinking this is the worse thing to hear that someone is critically ill and my die you want then to pull through get better.
Its critical that we change move past he mind live us its so critical we get this point within us
Sf
Does this definition support me no how i fear getting it and how i feel guilt giving it and how critical it is write now to for me to push myself tp change
Critical cry it call
Criticism cry tis me
Criticize cry tic eyes
Critical criticism criticize
It’s critical i push myself to the max and get my progress done
The i planet is on the critical list of things to happen and we need to grow with this change it’s critical
To see if there is anything to be learnt from another’s criticism if not see why the person feels the need to do so why they would feel it necessary and support them and learn
criticizing in a way someone can learn from it as in jest laughter to see the funny side of it not to be taken personally
I will live these words with self growth on how i handle myself within to be critical on how im processing to take on criticism well and to only criticize in jest to open up a point in self with living words of self love self respect self honesty.
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