#my feelings only ever complicated things and caused drama and I wish I could just remove it or peel it off and stick it to someone else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theirbbygirl · 3 years

Text

Second Lead Syndrome

Word Count: ~8.7k words

liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert

Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?

Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!)

I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.

Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life.

I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours). From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults.

The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted. Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily.

One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe.

Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night.

Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.

At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated.

I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise.

“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.

“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.

Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back.

“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.

I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.

“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry.

Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.

“Sorry what was that?” I ask.

“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.

“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that.

Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.

“Unfortunately I do.”

That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions.

It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens.

I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom.

“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.”

“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen.

“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.

“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.

“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone.

Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket.

“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.

“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.”

“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.

“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”

“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.”

“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.

“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.

“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.

“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode.

The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story.

Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.

A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain.

We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?

When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering.

I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to.

Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me.

I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.

3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self.

Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness.

One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern.

A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks.

“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.

“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head.

“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”

“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.”

“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.

“You like Minho.”

“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”

“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.

“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.”

“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?”

“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.”

“So maybe he doesn’t then.”

“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile.

Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.

“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.

“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks.

While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.

Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept.

A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.

Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic.

Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.

A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her.

It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee.

All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do.

Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart.

With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet.

Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.

“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.

“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.

“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?”

“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.”

“Hyunjin I-“

“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.

“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.”

“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.

I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it.

“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?”

“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own.

“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.

“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.”

I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?”

“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”

Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.”

Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked.

Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.”

Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo.

The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon.

Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to.

It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces.

“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly.

My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.

Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.

“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.

“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.

Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.”

The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.

“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.”

There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.

“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table.

I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.

“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.

“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.

“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.

“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.

“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.

“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind.

“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes.

Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment.

Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing.

“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away.

The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message.

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?

My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes.

from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sure, i can be there

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sweet, i’ll see you there

I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well.

I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner.

10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen.

“Hey.” I smile at him.

“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”

“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?”

“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.

“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety.

“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion.

“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.”

“What?” He asks.

How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.”

“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.

I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.”

“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?”

“I only told them last night.”

“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.

“Minho I-“

“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”

“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”

“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it.

“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile.

After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat.

“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest.

The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university.

Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go.

Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other.

“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.

“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders.

“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug.

I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person.

I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

“Me too.” And that’s all I can say.

I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.

Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not.

Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly.

The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with.

My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home.

Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to.

I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives.

I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho.

I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.

“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”

“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”

“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”

“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.

“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!”

“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”

“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”

“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?”

“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?”

“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?”

“Maybe five?”

“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.

“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door.

I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home.

After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor.

I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there.

“Minho?” I say as I walk closer.

“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug.

“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.

“Sure.” He responds.

I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.

Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up.

“You got a cat?” Minho asks.

“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.

“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.”

“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.

I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all.

I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.

“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.

“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him.

The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch.

Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.

“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?”

“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.

“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?”

“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”

“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond.

An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.

“How’s… How are you and Ahra?”

“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well.

“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.”

“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.

“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.”

“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.

“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.

“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.

“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”

I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.”

“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?”

I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.

“For?”

“Just feelings for somebody.”

“Is it Hyunjin?”

“No.”

“Chan?”

“Nope.”

“Changbin?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Me?”

I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”

“Wait- What? What are you talking about?”

Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”

He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“

“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post.

“Minho…” I let out quietly.

“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again.

“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away.

“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin.

“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.

“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.”

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair.

“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes.

Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time.

In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after.

Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there.

But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)

if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))

-nyx

#skz ff #skz fluff #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfiction #minho fluff #skz minho fluff #skz angst #yOU KNOW I KNOW LEE KNOW #skz lee know #lee know #lee know x y/n #tags are annoying sigh #lee minho fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fic #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst

284 notes · View notes

otptings · 3 years

Text

Insomnia

-Idol ~ Kun

-Genre ~ Sick Fic, Smut, Fluff

-Warnings ~ insomnia, lack of appetite & weight loss, pillow princess by force, oral (f receiving), passionate fucking, dry humping? (she's half naked but he's fully dressed), daddy kink, rough sex, choking, degradation,

-Word Count ~ 2.9k+

-Synopsis ~ Sleeping never comes easy to. You've tried everything from exercising, to warm milk. Maybe the one thing you've been missing is some late night loving?

-A/n ~ loosely inspired by sky Insomnia, the rose insomnia, and dreamcatcher sleep-walking. best to listen to any of those songs as you read it, might help set the mood even though those are all break up songs lmfao. I also have my ko-fi link in my bio help raise more money to help me buy essentials for my emotional support animal, I cannot work at the minute because of my treatment for type 1 bipolar disorder, and door dash doesn't allow me to save up abundantly enough, if you could even only share it I would greatly appreciate it. anyway hope you enjoy this and thank you for reading

Sleep and you have always had a complicated relationship. Fighting sleep as a kid, climbing out of your bed after your parents tucked you in, playing with your toys until you passed out among us. At sleepovers you were always the one who stayed up all night, too excited to actually get tired.

As a teenager spending nights before school desperately trying to finish homework, staying up until the early morning hours, quickly taking a shower before running to the bus. If you had no assignments your crush at the time would distract you, joking and blushing until it was time to leave for school, bags under your eyes prominent, but the loss of sleep was worth it.

Now the only thing you wanted was to sleep.

Insomnia took over your life. Staying up sometimes days at a time, struggling to calm your racing thoughts that were determined to keep you up at night. They won most nights. Laying in your bed, struggling to get comfortable or staring up at the ceiling, willing sleep to overtake you. Even with the medication from the doctor you struggled to get more than 3 hours a night.

You tried other remedies too. Drinking warm milk with cinnamon and vanilla, the warm concoction soothing but never tiring you out. Exercising before bed that truly made you feel amazing but never worked to tire you out, only forcing you to feel the soreness in your body as you laid in bed. No electronics before bed helped you finish multiple books series that you had wanted to start but never had time for, but didn't work.

Everything you tried was in vain. Sleep continued to evade you, and it only took a higher toll on your physical body.

Your appetite started to lessen, your weight slowly declined. The bags under your eyes only got deeper and darker. Concerns about your physical state came form your friends, their worries growing as you continued to get worst and worst. It came to a peak when you almost passed out at an outing, shaky from the constant stream of caffeine that you were consuming in order to function properly, your eyes fluttering close as you collapsed into their arms. Concern was properly covering their face, and they rushed you to the hospital, you were too weak to even try and decline them.

At the hospital they gave you strict instructions to stay home and rest, with someone watching you over to make sure that you were properly taken care of. Along with instructions you got even stronger medication, 20 mgs stronger than what you were currently taking.

Kun being the thoughtful person he is offered to watch you while you were on bedrest. He was the best candidate out of your friends, the others practically pushing you to accept him.

Kun has been the best assistant? nurse? friend that you could ask for. Constantly at your beck and call making sure that you were drinking plenty of water, cooking you fresh homemade meals, and making sure your medication was taken on time. Along with that he also did the awkward task of helping you to the bathroom, since you were still shaky and weak at times.

He did this all without complaint, catering to you everyday and making sure that you were cared for. Sometimes when he wasn't busy with his own work he would sit and watch a drama with you, or just engage in conversation telling you about his day, and the funny things he did and heard.

Having him helping you 24/7 for 2 weeks straight, had caused some unwelcome feelings. Your friends weren't surprised at that, having been part of the reason why they suggested he did it, knowing your past feelings for him. With only a week left of your bedrest you were saddened at the thought that he was leaving, going back to only talking to him once or twice a week whenever the friend group hung out.

Kun had actually been the one who surprised you. Seeing that you were still up one night, thoughts of him running through your mind when he entered your room. Upon seeing you awake he sat on your bed, holding your hand as you asked what's up. You weren't truthful. Who would be truthful in that scenario? 'Hey actually I was up thinking about my crush on you and the desire that I constantly have to kiss you."

You were positive that wouldn't have gone through well.

Kun rubbed your hand soothingly, listening patiently to you as you lied about what you were thinking about, fake worries and complaints about going back to work. Offering you advice was always Kun's strong suit so you were ready for some good advice despite your lies.

That's what got you in this peculiar position.

Lip tucked tightly between your teeth, the taste of copper on your tongue. One hand grasping at the pillow behind you squeezing it tightly between your fingers, the other intertwined with dark blue hair as you tried not to pull too hard.

Kun thought the best thing to clear your mind was sex, and who were you to deny his generous offer.

You felt your hips jerking as tongue pressed his tongue against your hole, shallowly fucking into you. His free hand rubbed up your thigh, the sensation combining with him eating you out causing your mind to start to go blurry. His hand continued to glide up, before pressing down on your hips, forcing them down on the bed.

Without the ability to move you could only lie there as he continued to tongue fuck you. The fire in your stomach increasing, and Kun seemed to know it as he kissed your clit before sucking on it aggressively, causing your first orgasm to rip through your body.

Kun continued his ministrations, licking up your cum causing the fire to come back threefold. Kun sucked on your clit, flicking his tongue over it as you wriggled from the sensitivity. He seemed to be made for this, the way his tongue knew the perfect ways to fuck you open, and he hadn't even involved his fingers or cock yet.

Pulling away from your cunt you saw your juices covering Kun's mouth leaking down his chin. His hair was sticking every which way how you were messing, and pulling on it. Kun looked like all of your wet dreams had happened to come through.

"So pretty." A laugh let his mouth, a smiling spreading over his lips.

"Wish you could see yourself," Kun slid his hand up and down your thigh, rubbing it soothingly, "You're gorgeous. I've been wanting to do this for so long."

Kun changed the positions so that you were on top, straddling his thighs. You could feel his cock straining against his jeans, rubbing over your oversensitive clit in the best way possible. A whimper left your mouth as you started to rock on him, but Kun stilled your hips. His hand slid to your chin, rubbing his thumb along the side of your jaw.

"Can I kiss you?" You didn't bother answering, meeting him halfway. His chapped lips moved against your own as if you've done it before, there was a familiarity to it that made you wrap your arms around his neck pulling him flush against your chest. Sliding his hands up and down your body, lips moving in sync against yours. You nipped at his lip, causing a loud groan to leave his mouth as he opened it for you. Sliding your tongue into his mouth you reveled in the feeling of him taking dominance. His hands gripping your ass tightly, his tongue roughly dancing with yours.

You pulled away, placing your hips on his shoulders as you continued to grind against him. Another groan leaving his mouth as he moved you against him, forcing you to press down harder and faster against him.

"God baby." He leaned back as he looked at you, admiring the way you moved against him, needy and wanting to cum again. "You're so need baby. Who's got you like this hm?" You dropped your head back, continuing to rock your hips against his. Kun felt his cock twitching in his pants at the sight, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you close to him, placing kisses along your neck and collarbones.

"Kun I need you." You tried to sound strict but it came breathy, a moan following it as he kisses over your jugular, nipping at it before listening to your 'command'. Flipping you over he gave you a peck, before pulling away to take off his clothes. You decided to join him stripping out of your shirt and throwing it across the room.

Kun crawled back over you, but he stopped just taking the time to stare at you.

"I need to say this before. I'm not just fucking you because of your insomnia, I'm not just fucking you to fuck you." Kun intertwined your fingers, "I really like you. I don't want this to just not mean anything to you, when I really like you. Even thought we're doing this backward I hope you can at least think of going on a date with me." You felt your face heat up, and the familiar feeling of fluttering in your stomach at his confession. Placing your hand on his cheek you leaned up, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"I like you too Kun. More than I can put words to." A big smile spread across his face as he leaned down, showering your face with kisses. "But if you don't put your dick in me right now, you might not ever get that date." A laugh left his mouth as he placed one last kiss against your check, before grabbing the base of his cock and rubbing it up and down your cunt. Collecting some of your juices over his tips he looked down as he pressed into you, muttering a fuck at the sight of you taking him in so well. You threw your head back feeling the fuzziness come back, feeling how well he slid into you.

When Kun bottomed out he placed your still intertwined hands on the pillow beside you, his other hand sliding back to your hip.

"Fuck you feel so good." He growled as he waited for you to adjust, feeling your tight walls practically sucking him in.

"Please move. Please I need you." Kun placed a gentle kiss on your pouty lips before pulling. Thrusting back into you he set a slow pace, being gentle with you not forgetting that you were still on bed rest. Your other arm wrapped around his neck, pulling you closer to him. Feeling skin against skin as he continued to slowly fuck you, enjoying the feeling of him being close to you.

It was more intimate than it should've been, being the first time that you two were having sex but with Kun it felt right. This was more love making than casual fucking and you wouldn't have it any other way. The coil in your stomach started to tighten, Kun's groans helping greatly to push you towards the edge, but the pace he had set wasn't doing it for you.

"Kun." He slowed down, hearing the desperation in your voice and not wanting to hurt you.

"Yes baby? Am I hurting you?" You could hear the slight panic in his voice and shook your head, before meeting his eyes.

"Faster please. I need you rougher." Kun pushed your hair back, before cupping your cheek.

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you, you were just hospitalized."

"Please fuck me harder. I need you to ruin me daddy." At your words Kun's eyes darkened and without warning he thrust into you hard, causing a punched out moan to leave your mouth.

The mood changed just the way you needed it to, instead of being slow love sex Kun was fucking you. Hips meeting during every perfectly timed thrust, hitting deep within you as the sound of his balls smacking against your ass filled the room. He let go of your hand, instead opting to grab your waist and pulled you to meet him halfway on every thrust.

Ceaseless moans leaving your lips at the feeling of him fucking into you so beautifully, filling every inch of you. Opening your eyes that hadn't even realized had closed you were met by the sight of Kun, sweat glistening over his abs and dripping down his face. His hair plastered to his forehead, as he bit his lip harshly trying to hold back his groans. Your neighbors should really thank him for having some self control.

Kun slowed down as he lifted your legs up, pushing them towards your chest, folding you in half as he continued his rough pace. This new position causing you to feel him in your chest, the feeling of fullness completely overtaking you as you orgasmed for the second time. He fucked you through your orgasm, the tingly feeling spreading towards your hips as overstimulation set in. Even though his cock was dragging against your walls beautifully, blunt tip pressing into your g spot it started to get painful.

The feeling of it being too much, but not enough at the same time. Tears welling up in your eyes, as Kun pressed against your legs pushing them back further and forcing his cock impossibly deeper.

"F-fuck daddy please." You didn't even know what you were begging for anyway, him effectively fucking you dumb, his hands gripping your thighs tightly to the point where you knew you'd have bruises the next day.

"So tight around me, your pussy is sucking me in even after two orgasms? What's wrong baby? Two isn't enough, you need me to milk another one out of you?" You couldn't respond to him, only listened to him as he spoke, groans leaving his mouth harmonizing with your moans almost.

"Poor baby is fucked dumb," A cruel laugh left his mouth as he stuffed two fingers into your mouth. You sucked on his fingers, twirling your tongue around them. "Can't even speak, only babble and suck on my fingers huh? Lucky you're so cute. You liked being called dumb huh? Can feel the way you're pussy clenched around me? Must be close again." You could only let out a muted moan, Kun's fingers still pressed against your tongue, gagging you effectively.

Pulling his fingers out of your mouth he slid his hand around your throat, tapping his too soaked fingers on the side of your neck.

"So close baby. So. fucking. close." Punctuating his words with an extra hard thrust in between you had lost the ability to think, his hand gently around your neck, more like an accessory but just at the thought of him choking you felt yourself drooling, his thrusts still reaching that spot inside of you that was so deep it'd never been touched before.

As if hearing your thoughts, Kun's hand tightened around your throat, pressing you against the mattress. You came at that moment, Kun's tip hitting your g spot perfectly. Your eyes rolled back as you felt like you had exploded, all of your energy draining out of you with your third orgasm of the night.

At the feeling of you clenching around him so tightly, practically holding you in place Kun pulled out and quickly jerked himself off, cumming over your lower stomach. Kun marveled at the sight of you laid out below him, lips swollen from biting them, hair frizzy from rubbing against the pillow, his white cum painting your stomach, a light red mark around your neck from his hand.

Kun let you sit for a couple minutes before carrying you to the bathroom for a well needed shower. Setting you on the toilet, he let you pee while he started the warm. When you were finished and the water was warm enough Kun helped you into the shower, letting you lean against him as he started to clean the cum from your body.

"Are you okay?" You looked up at Kun, basking in the feeling of the warm water running down your body as Kun rubbed the soapy loofa over your body.

"Never felt better." A crooked smile spread across your face, too tired to even continue the conversation. Kun kissed you on your temple , seemingly sensing it and helped you rinse out. After getting you redressed and back into your bed with clean sheets, Kun went to go to the living room until you grabbed his arm.

"Can you stay?" Even after having sex Kun was still nervous to sleep in the bed with you, but he obliged hearing your soft, sleepy voice. Climbing into bed with you he pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

"Thank you." Kun hummed, the vibration spreading through his chest and making you giggle.

"For?"

"Taking care of me." Kun placed another kiss on your head.

"You don't have to thank me. I wanted to care for you. Now get some sleep." Cuddling further into Kun, the beat of his heart along with the rise and fall of his chest lulled you to sleep.

For the first time in years, you slept like a baby.

#kpopcatalog #wayv #nct #wayv kun #wayv qian kun #nct qian kun #qian kun #Kpop smut #kpop fluff #sick fic #nct smut #wayv smut #wayv fluff #nct fluff

302 notes · View notes

invisibleanonymousmonsters · 3 years

Text

All Men Have Limits - VII

Character: Dick Grayson x Reader x Bruce Wayne

Summary: A certain bat believes that Y/N is in way over her head, that she’s too naive to act in her best interest. So, whether she wants it or not, the vigilante family is going to help and protect her before she gets herself killed.

Word Count: 3,500+

Warning: Mention of domestic violence

Previously on…

“The Court is holding session two weeks from now,” Y/N announced to the group.

“How do we know they’re going through with it after all the recent attention?” Damian challenged.

“They haven’t missed one in over over 20 years.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Dick asked.

Y/N took in a deep breath, “We need a diversion.”

“Diversion?” Jason asked.

She nodded. “The Court has two kinds of protection: the Talons and then the protection they either buy or blackmail. The Talons are at every meeting, making sure nothing goes down and protecting The Court.”

Y/N eyed all of them before continuing – except for Bruce. The two of them hadn’t spoken since their argument, and Y/N hadn’t so much as acknowledged him.

“We need to do something to drag the Talons away from The Court – something big,” Y/N clarified.

“Like what?” Tim asked.

She didn’t say anything. Instead she just awkwardly shifted her weight.

“No,” Dick shut down, being the first to put it together.

“It’s the only way,” she countered.

By now the rest of them had figured out that Y/N wished to put herself in danger once again.

“They almost killed you,” Dick started to get heated.

“Yeah, and they’re even more anxious to kill me after the trouble we caused them. We all know it. The quickest way to get the Talons out of hiding is to dangle me in right front of their faces. Make it so easy that they can’t say no.”

They all went quiet.

“It’s a good idea,” Jason broke the silence.

Jason wasn’t one to beat around the bush. He was brutally honest. Also, he wasn’t scared of a risk.

Dick glared at him.

But to his surprise, so did Bruce.

“We don’t use our own as bait,” Bruce finally spoke for the first time.

But he wasn’t even looking in Y/N’s vicinity.

That didn’t stop Y/N from rolling her eyes at ‘our own,’ as if she were actually treated the same as everyone in this family.

“Fine,” she snapped. “So what’s your genius plan for getting the Talons away from The Court and where we want them?”

Bruce was quiet, but clearly because he was thinking.

“B, we only have two weeks to get this together,” Dick tried to reason.

Y/N just continued, “While we’re distracting the Talons, the FBI and Gotham PD can raid The Court’s meeting. Security will be at an all-time low and they won’t be able to fight their way out with the distraction of a Talon defense.”

“We can think of another way,” Bruce said. Then he addressed all boys, “We’re heading out for patrol in 15.”

Dick stood up to join them.

To everyone’s shock Y/N and Bruce simultaneously said, “You’re staying here.”

Dick’s brow furrowed. “I’m fine.”

“You’re still injured,” Y/N argued. “You’re stitches aren’t even out yet.”

“You’re staying here with Y/N,” Bruce added on.

Tim, Damian, and Jason all looked at each other in amusement from seeing Bruce and Y/N gain up on Dick.

Bruce muttered out radiuses at the other three boys for patrolling.

“Just to be clear, I’m going back to being a lone wolf when this Court of Owls bullshit is over with,” Jason announced. “But I have to admit, the drama is entertaining.”

“Aww! Come on, J! You know you love the quality family time,” Tim teased.

“I personally can’t wait for him to go away,” Damian mumbled.

“Do you know what a swirly is?” Jason asked the youngest boy.

“No.”

“Do you want to find out?”

Damian looked at Tim for some kind of hint. But Tim just aggressively shook his head in warning.

“Enough,” Bruce warned, but he wasn’t all that annoyed.

When they all left for patrol, Y/N walked to her computers.

“What are you doing?” Dick questioned.

She gave him a look, “Uhhh…doing my job?”

“You did your job,” he countered. “Give yourself a break.”

Y/N knew he was technically right. She already had everything they needed to show the FBI and Gotham PD in order to take down The Court of Owls. Now they just had to wait – even if Bruce wasn’t on board with Y/N’s plan on playing bait.

“Plus,” Dick smirked. “I need someone to entertain me.”

She playfully glared at him. “Oh, I see. So this isn’t about me needing a break. It’s about you needing attention.”

He had no shame. “Maybe.”

Y/N shook her head at his ridiculous, but couldn’t hide her smirk.

“How about I teach you some self defense?” Dick offered.

“Dick! What part of ‘you’re recovering’ is so hard for you to understand?”

He had the audacity to laugh at her reaction. “Fine. Fine. But you should learn a few things at some point.”

Then Dick started walking to the training area, specifically where all the gymnastics equipment was.

Y/N hadn’t seen anyone using it while she was down there, but she assumed it was mostly for Dick.

Without warning, Dick did a press handstand mount on the balance beam, and then he held the handstand.

“Dick! Stop!” Y/N said in a panic.

And she did exactly what he wanted, leaving her computer and walking down to where he was on the balance beam.

“What?” He shrugged as he now stood on the balance beam. “It’s just a handstand. Relax.”

“I swear to god, Dick Grayson, if you do a fucking flip on that thing…”

“You’ll what?” He challenged with a smirk. “Come up here and stop me.”

Y/N crossed her arms and glared at him. “Fine. I will.”

Dick was beaming from his success.

Y/N might not be a gymnast or a vigilante the same way as all of them, but she wasn’t completely hopeless when it came to athletics. She managed to lift herself up enough to sit on the balance beam.

However, standing up was an entirely different thing.

“Fuck,” Y/N muttered under her breath.

“You got it,” Dick encouraged.

But he was still walking across towards her as if the thing was a runway.

“Have these things always been this fucking narrow? I thought it was like width of bleacher seats.”

Dick chuckled as he offered her a hand.

“I got you. Come on,” he urged her softly.

Y/N slowly stood on the balance beam, but gripped Dick’s hands tightly.

“I have some newfound respect,” she laughed lightly as she looked down at their feet.

“Harder than it looks,” Dick agreed.

“Do you think you could’ve gone to the Olympics?” Y/N genuinely asked.

He shrugged, “Who knows. Probably not.”

But Y/N knew he was most likely being modest.

Then Dick let go of her hands to grip her waist, “Try walking.”

“I feel like we’re in Dirty Dancing. You know, like the scene where they’re working on lifts and walking across the log in the woods.”

He smiled.

Y/N lost her balance a little bit and panicked.

But Dick’s grip on her waist was strong. “You’re OK. I got you.”

It was hard to focus on balancing and walking when his gentle voice said things like that to her, making her stomach drop and her heartbeat quicken.

And it all proved to be too much when Y/N really lost her balance and there was no stopping her from falling. She shoved into Dick too hard, making him lose his grip as well.

But as they fell, Dick quickly maneuvered their bodies so he took the fall and caged her body protectively.

Y/N instantly sat up in hysterics.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Are you OK?” Y/N cried out as her eyes went down to where he still had stitches, half expecting blood to be on his t-shirt from the wound reopening.

But Dick was laughing his ass off.

“It’s not funny!” She slapped his chest.

“I’m not made of glass, Y/N.”

She couldn’t keep her own amusement in check much longer and started laughing along with him.

But then Dick’s phone lit up and vibrated beside them. It must’ve fallen out of his pocket when they fell.

Y/N didn’t mean to look. She really didn’t. But her eyes couldn’t stop from reading the name ‘Barbara Gordon’ on the screen.

Her smile dropped for some reason.

But Dick didn’t see the problem.

He casually reached over and looked at the message.

Y/N moved off of Dick. “Texting your ex?”

Dick narrowed his eyes at the framing of her question. “Do you know every woman I’ve ever dated?”

She smirked at that. “Maybe.”

“Yes, I am. She’s a friend.” He tilted his head. “Don’t you stay in touch with any of your exes?”

Y/N shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t really have any ex-boyfriends. Just…” she hesitated, “people I’ve hooked up with or whatever.”

Dick nodded slowly.

“Why hasn’t she been around?” Y/N changed the subject quickly.

“She’s been working her own case – had to go undercover for awhile.”

She nodded. But wasn’t looking at him as they talked now.

“You know…just because that’s what’s happened in the past doesn’t mean that it always has to be that way,” he told her quietly.

“Easy for you to say.”

Dick winced a bit. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her gaze finally moved up from the floor to his. “You’re a serial monogamist. Being in relationships is easy for you.”

“That’s what you think of me?” Dick couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice. “You think I don’t know how to be alone?”

“I didn’t say that,” she quickly defended.

“But that’s what you were implying.”

Y/N got up from the mats and started to leave.

“No. Don’t do that,” Dick caught her arm.

“Do what?” She challenged as she pulled her arm away from him.

“Don’t make up problems that don’t exist, Y/N.”

She huffed at that.

“Yeah, I’ve been in serious relationships for most of my life. Not because I didn’t know how to be alone, but because I loved them.” He shook his head. “I know men have treated you like shit, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same.”

“What are we even talking about, Dick?” She shot back.

How did they get from messing around on a balance beam to discussing their non-existent relationship?

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. You’re one of the smartest people I know. Act like it.”

It wasn’t until now that Dick saw how Bruce and Y/N were similar. He’d never met anyone else that could push people away like they did. But it was clear they both thought it was easier and less complicated to isolate themselves.

Maybe that’s why they gravitated toward each other. Like if the faced it together than they were cheating their way out of their own rules.

Except Dick couldn’t help but wonder what Y/N’s life could look like with someone who really loved her, who showed her that she didn’t have to face the world alone. Obviously he wanted to be that person for her. But his ego wasn’t too proud to allow someone else to do that for her. Even if it hurt like hell.

“Dick, I can’t–”

But he didn’t let her say another word, and his lips crashed against hers.

She tried to be stubborn and pull away, but he wasn’t letting her get away.

Dick deepened the kiss. This wasn’t like the night of the gala. It wasn’t innocent and soft. No, this was filled with fire and infatuation.

Dick wasn’t being polite anymore. His hands slipped under her t-shirt to grasp her waist, needing to feel her and refusing to allow fabric between his touch and her skin.

Maybe he was trying to prove something to Y/N now.

But just when Y/N was about to push it further, Dick pulled away.

Their lips were both swollen.

And he kept close to her, tempting her with another kiss – but not giving in.

“You don’t want to talk about it? Fine.” His voice was raspy.

Eventually he’d push her to talk about them. For now, he’d let her figure things out.

“But don’t convince yourself that I’m no one to you.”

———————

Y/N couldn’t sleep.

Her mind was restless.

She knew Dick had been right: she was trying to point out issues that didn’t exist, picking unnecessary fights.

Getting Dick frustrated was a great way to stop herself from actually reflecting on how she was starting to feel about him.

Instead of tossing and turning in bed, Y/N decided to go to the library. She hadn’t spent much time there – too busy practically living in cave. But it had intrigued her since she arrived. It was so beautiful, and even large enough to hide in.

She was a hour or so into a book she grabbed from the shelves when someone cleared their throat.

Y/N jumped in fright and looked up to see Bruce leaning against one of the book shelves.

His hair was wet and he was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Clearly he’d just taken a shower.

“You’re back early,” she noted.

It wasn’t even 4AM yet.

“Quiet night. The boys had patrolling handled.”

She just nodded and went back to her book.

But Bruce’s presence made it impossible for her to even focus enough on the words to keep reading. So, she faked it.

“I owe you an apology.”

Her stare snapped up.

“I should not have spoken to you the way I did.”

Y/N was silent.

“It was unfair, and I was mistaken. I apologize.”

Y/N watched him for a moment before saying, “Apology accepted.”

She expected him to leave after that. He’d checked his little box. Now they could both move on.

“I was scared,” Bruce confessed. “That I was going to find you dead. And then I was scared Dick would lose it and…” His words died out.

“Well… you hid that very easily.”

“I have to.”

“I know. But you don’t realize how frustrating that can be for other people.”

Bruce sighed and frowned. “I understand.”

Y/N finally put her book down and got up from the love seat to slowly walk to where Bruce was standing.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” she apologized softly. “And I’m sorry for scaring you. I was only doing what I thought was right.”

Bruce didn’t even realize what he doing until he pulled Y/N into his arms and felt her bury her face into his chest and hug him back. He tightened his hold around her, breathing in her hair.

Y/N was surprised by his hug, but she was grateful for it.

She closed her eyes and breathed him in. It was either his body wash or his cologne, but Bruce always smelled like musk and wood. Y/N was rarely close enough to smell it this well. But when she did, it instantly soothed her.

“Why are you up so late?” Bruce asked when they finally pulled away.

Y/N let out a long sigh, “Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Come on. I’ll make you some tea.”

“You do not know how to make tea,” she answered while trying not to laugh.

“I am not as hopeless in the kitchen as you’d imagine,” he told her with a smirk.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” she replied, as she followed him downstairs.

True to his word, Bruce made Y/N lavender tea, making it just as Alfred had taught him as a child.

He gave her a smug smirk when he handed her one of the mugs and saw how surprised she was by him.

Y/N never expected he would linger.

But an hour later, they were still sitting on the barstools at the island.

The conversation was slow, but light.

Now that Y/N had spent so much time with the family, she mostly talked about the boys with Bruce, asked him questions about each of them.

It was easier for him to talk about them than himself – or them.

Little did Bruce know, Y/N was learning so much more about him from the way he talked about all of them.

Bruce was subtle, but Y/N could tell how proud he was of all of them – even Jason, who he had a tumultuous relationship with. He loved them with all his heart, even though he was terrible at showing it.

“Damian’s the only one who still lives here. Tim has a penthouse in the city. And Dick is constantly jumping around place to place. But it’s been...nice having them around so much recently,” Bruce admitted with hesitation.

“And what about Jason?” She asked. “He never seems to stay here.”

Bruce hid his sadness and disappointment well, but Y/N could still see it.

“I’m lucky Jason even speaks to me,” he answered darkly. “He tends to like his space and prefers to…keep to himself.”

She nodded, not forcing the subject more.

But then her eyes got a glimpse of the clock. And she looked inside her now empty mug. How long ago did she finish it?

“I should probably attempt to get at least a couple hours of sleep,” she murmured as she got up from the stool.

Bruce nodded, and did that thing where men stand up as soon as a woman does.

No matter how many times he did it, Y/N was always caught off guard by it.

“Thank you for the tea,” her voice was so quiet, but sincere. She smiled, “I’m sorry for ever doubting your skills.”

He grinned and watched her leave.

But when Y/N reached the edge of the kitchen she turned around. “If I asked you a question, would you answer truthfully? And I mean really answer.”

Bruce observed her for a few seconds.

He knew she deserved his honesty.

They constantly answered each other’s questions with questions. It was like a dance – or a fight – which one probably just depended on the day.

He nodded.

“It’s okay if I am. Really, it is.” She took a short inhale. “But was I just another one of Bruce Wayne’s conquests?”

The desperation for honesty was so clear in her face and voice. If he said ‘yes,’ it would hurt her, but she would get over it. After all, that’s what she’d been assuming all this time.

Bruce did not have the words. Furthermore, he saw this for what it was: the two of them approaching dangerous territory.

But he owed her this.

Bruce didn’t break her stare as he carefully shook his head.

“Goodnight, Bruce.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

——————

LATER THAT NIGHT/EARLY MORNING…

Bruce knew Dick would be in the gym in the manor.

Everyone trained in the cave, so Dick knew no one would find him there. And he could workout in peace without being reprimanded about resting and being cautious about his injuries.

Dick had been sprinting on the treadmill when Bruce walked in.

When he spotted his entrance in the mirror, Dick stopped the machine.

He was dripping in sweat, proving that he’d been training hard – too hard for his condition.

Wonder where he learned that from…

“What’s up?” Dick asked as he wiped his face with a towel.

“I had a feeling you weren’t resting,” Bruce said as he crossed his arms.

“I’m fine,” Dick shot back.

But he did a double take when he realized how deep in thought Bruce seemed to me. He was staring off, an extremely unusual thing for him.

“Bruce?” Dick asked with concern.

“Y/N’s parents abused her,” Bruce told him firmly all of the sudden. “Her father was an alcoholic – beat her and his wife. Her mother emotionally and mentally terrorized her. After running away countless times, Y/N was finally able to emancipate herself at 16.”

Dick’s entire body froze. “How do you know that?”

“She told me.”

Bruce didn’t mean to sound smug.

But Dick still took it that way.

“For obvious reasons, she didn’t go into great detail. But I filled in the blanks with research – though she’s hid her past well, as you can imagine. She was homeless after that. Broke in where she could. Tried to stay off the streets. Even dressed like a boy for safety.”

Dick felt sick as he listened. Stories like this were all too familiar to their family.

“One day, she saw someone coding on their computer at a coffee shop. She had always overachieved at computer science in school, and it intrigued her. As you and I both know, she caught on rather quickly.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because she’s not going to,” Bruce replied as if it’s obvious.

Dick scowled, still not putting together the deeper meaning. They had never shared a conversation like this before. And it was confusing him.

Was Bruce trying to shove his past with Y/N in Dick’s face?

“I was the first person she ever shared her past with,” Bruce said slowly. “And it took me far too long to realize that I mishandled her trust. I did not deserve it.”

Dick could see the regret on Bruce’s face as he spoke.

But Dick finally understood what Bruce was actually trying to tell him: ‘If she does you the same honor, don’t you dare make the same mistake I did.’

“I understand,” was all Dick responded with.

Bruce gave a curt nod.

“Need I remind you that the cave has cameras?”

Bruce saw them kiss. But little did he know, it wasn’t their first.

Dick only quirked an eyebrow as if it say, ‘So? What of it?’

-----------

Part 8

Guys, I was 30 minutes early. You’re welcome.

I want to point out that Y/N’s dark past was always part of the story. But I avoided actually including it because I am not a fan of fanfic writers often romanticizing abuse or mental health issues or other serious matters. I just want everyone to know that I take things like this seriously and I’m not just using them as a plot point.

So here is a resource if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence.

#all men have limits #all men have limits part 7 #bruce wayne x reader #Bruce Wayne x reader x dick Grayson #dick grayson x reader #dick Grayson x reader x Bruce Wayne #dick grayson reader insert #bruce wayne reader insert #batboys #batfam #batman x reader #nightwing x reader

419 notes · View notes

whimsicallyreading · 3 years

Text

For Day 29 of Rowaelin Month

“A song fic-“

The song- “Always Been You” by Quinn XCII

CW- Mentions of miscarriage and divorce

"I can't believe you right now."

Rowan looks at his wife in frustration. She's sitting at the end of their bed, staring listlessly at the wall. The skirt of the red dress she's wearing is wrinkled, and his heart aches when he notices the mascara marks on her cheeks.

"Aelin," Rowan tries again to reach for her, but she leans away from his grasp.

"No, Rowan. I'm done."

Rowan takes a long swing from the beer in front of him. The time on his phone alerts him that he's spent most of the evening sulking at his bar.

The guys had invited him to dinner, but Rowan hadn't felt like going in light of his current situation. Instead, choosing to meander to the shady little pub they'd passed by coming from the airport.

His lawyer had sent him numerous emails. Documents to sign, agreements to approve, and papers he needed to read through before sending them to the judge.

Divorce was a pain, and Aelin wasn't making it easy.

"Hey, bud. I thought I might find you here." Fenrys slides onto the barstool next to his.

Rowan sighs and rubs the lines forming on his forehead. "Well, I thought it was obvious I didn't want company."

"Too bad. Drinking alone isn't a good look on you." Fenrys raises a hand and motions for another round of beers. "How are things going with ya know?"

"Shitty. She's never paid a dime of rent on that apartment, but she wants the lease signed into her name and for me to front the first four months of rent." Rowan cracks a peanut between his finger. He has no intent to eat the growing pile in front of him. He just craved the satisfaction of breaking something.

"Well, have you talked to her about that?" Fenrys frowns in sympathy, knowing how equally attached both parties were to the little rental.

Rowan laughs mirthlessly. "No, she said that it was better if our conversations were mediated. I always knew Aelin was catty, but she's acting like such a-"

"Don't." Fenrys gives Rowan a severe look. "I know you are upset, but don't start saying shit you'll regret."

Rowan pauses and reluctantly nods his agreement. It's the alcohol talking. He knew the problems that had festered his marriage were predominantly his responsibility.

He takes a deep breath, but a heaviness seems to keep the air from reaching his lungs fully. The weight was slowly becoming too familiar, starting the day Aelin had presented him with the papers.

Rowan wishes he'd done more. Wishes he'd paid more attention and seen the signs of Aelin's unhappiness.

The day Aelin had broken down in their bedroom had been a cold wake-up call but by then? It was already too late.

"You missed our anniversary Rowan." Aelin shouts and pulls her heels off angrily.

Rowan picks up a shoe and tries to hand it back to her. "I know. I'm sorry. It's not too late, though. We can still go out? There's still time to salvage-"

Aelin turns away from him and seems to fold in on herself. Rowan wants to reach out. He wants to hold her, but something dark is building in the air.

"I don't want your leftovers, Rowan," Aelin whispers. "That's all I get anymore—your leftover time. Your leftover attention. Whatever leftover resentment you bring home from work."

"Aelin-" he tries to cut off her depressive spiral, but she's not finished.

"You used to call me during the day." Aelin's voice cracks, and he realizes she's crying. "Every day, you would call me on your break. Now you don't even call when you leave town."

"Baby, just listen to me." He puts his hands on her shoulders, but Aelin breaks his grasp to turn around and look at him.

"Is there someone else?" Her eyes are wide and vulnerable. So unlike his regular Aelin."

"What?" His brain is struggling even to formulate a reply. Rowan's lack of response only causes Aelin to worry more.

Something in her cracks. There's a quiver to her lips, and her face drains of color. "Oh. Oh no."

"Aelin. I swear there is no one else." Rowan finally says, but it's too late.

"Is," Aelin presses the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Is it because I lost the baby?" She sucks in a hiccupping breath. "You've always wanted kids. So did I, but my fucking body doesn't work."

Aelin closes her eyes, and Rowan knows she's speaking more to herself than him, but her words gut him just the same. "My body doesn't work right. I keep giving us false hopes and wasting money on pregnancy tests. Of course, you would look for a woman who can give you what you want."

He's surprised by the sudden flare of anger in him. "Don't put words in my mouth. That will never be your fault."

They'd known right from the start their journey to parenthood would be a long one. Aelin had a family history of complicated fertility. It had seemed so trivial when they got married. Yet even knowing there could be issues, nothing quite prepared them for the pain of a miscarriage.

Aelin sniffles, unable to force back her grief, "But you resent me. Don't you?"

Rowan doesn't reply.

"It's rough," Rowan admits out loud. "I let a lot get left unsaid. I was hurt and pushed her away. Now she won't even speak to me without a lawyer present."

Fenrys nods, "It's all probably for the best. Once this is over, you guys can put this drama behind you."

"I wish it were that easy," Rowan knocks back the rest of his beer. He grimaces at the drink. It's not taking hold quickly enough.

Fenrys raises an eyebrow. "You both will be able to shut the book on this chapter of your lives and move on? Considering how bloody you two have been fighting, it sounds ideal."

They sit in silence. Fenrys takes the peanut basket away from Rowan and picks at the shells. The bartender comes by, and disgruntledly eyes Rowan's pile of crumbs as he orders a whiskey neat.

Fen was like his little brother, but Rowan found it hard to admit his real problem to him aloud. "I still love her."

The basket goes flying over the side of the counter, and Fenrys chokes on his beer. "What?"

Rowan can't look him in the eye, "We lost a baby. It was early. Aelin didn't want to tell everyone. Three years we tried to get pregnant, and finally, a test comes back positive. She was so happy."

"Shit," Fenrys says quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"It was there, and then it was gone. I thought Aelin was fine. She cried for a week, but then it was like a switch flipped, and she was back to normal." Rowan clenches a napkin in his fist. "I was devastated. It hurt like hell, but I didn't want to send her back into a depression." Rowan shakes his head at how stupid he'd been. "So I put some distance between us. I didn't want her to think I was upset with her."

"I didn't feel better," Rowan sips the whiskey, relishing the warmth. "It made me mad that she got over it so quickly, and I couldn't. I didn't realize that I was growing that space between us. I didn't understand how much guilt she harbored and that she tried to be strong for me. Not until she broke."

"We fought. I said all the wrong things. Aelin couldn't take it anymore, she left, and I didn't stop her." Rowan leans his head on his hands and elbows against the counter. "She's the love of my life, and I watched her walk out the door."

Fenrys sucks in a breath and sighs. "You are my best friend, and I mean this in the most loving way possible. Why the hell are you here?"

"What?" Rowan looks at Fenrys annoyed face.

"Get out of here. Go. I'll tell the boss you have ebola or some shit." Fenrys fishes his wallet out and throws cash on the bar. "I'll even cover the tab. Just leave. Now."

"What? I don't understand?"

Fenrys looks at Rowan like he's stupid. "No offense, but you are about as interesting as a brick wall. The fact you caught a girl like Aelin is astonishing. If you love her, are you honestly going to let her go on being miserable?"

"She's not miserable," Rowan scoffs.

Fenrys laughs bitterly. "You forget I'm pals with Aedion too? Aelin winds up at his house almost every evening crying her eyes out. You two are still hopelessly in love. You're just dumb and badly in need of a good conversation."

"Aelin is upset?" A sense of disbelief washes over him.

"Yes! She misses you, but she's under the impression you are off sleeping around." His face saddens. "I told Aedion you weren't. He knows I go on all of these trips with you. Aelin's just upset you're gone and needs to believe in something that can help her let go."

Rowan stands up, swaying. "I have to go."

"Hell yeah, you do. Give Aelin my love," Fenrys waves as Rowan vates the bar like a hawk out of hell.

Aelin sets the stack of papers in front of him.

Rowan had been camping out in his office ever since there disaster of an anniversary. He'd texted a few times, but every time they talked, it was like relighting a fuze. Things weren't getting better.

"What are these?" Rowan asks without looking up from his screen.

"Your ticket to freedom," Aelin sits in the chair across from him.

She looks thin, thinner than she did when Arobynn was her foster father. It physically hurts Rowan that he's causing her that kind of stress. Glancing at the papers, she slapped in front of him. His blood becomes like an ice river through his body. "Aelin-"

"I'm not the one for you. That's apparent now. I won't hold you hostage in a marriage that you aren't happy in." Aelin blinks, and a tear slides down her face. He wants to wipe it away, but he's beyond angry. She was giving up on them.

"If this is what you want," Rowan slides the papers towards him and pulls out a pen.

Rowan is racing the familiar paths to their apartment. He doesn't care that it's almost four in the morning. The plane ride between Perranth and Ornyth is mercifully short, but he can't force himself to wait another minute.

"Aelin," he yells through their door. "Baby, answer me. Open the door."

Rowan's fists tap a consistent rhythm on the door, and his heart skips a beat when a bedraggled Aelin finally appears. "Rowan, do you know what time it is?"

She's in a pair of grey flannel pajamas, not one of her usual silky numbers. Aelin's eyes are red around the edges, and her face is still dewy from the excessive amount of lotion he knows she loves to put on. Rowan knows all of her routines. All of her favorite outfits, comfort movies, and best memories. He knows the scar she has on her left hand from an abusive foster father. Rowan remembers how the bridge of her nose wrinkles when she's upset in the same spot her cousin's does.

He knows everything about her, because not only were they husband and wife, they were best friends.

How could he have let that go?

Before Aelin can ask any more questions, Rowan has swept her into his arms. "I missed you so damn much."

"Rowan, have you been drinking?" Aelin asks in a voice cracked with emotion.

His hands are running up her back, and his knows burrows into her hair. He's always loved the smell of her jasmine shampoo. "Fireheart, I never resented you for losing the baby."

"Rowan, I don't want to talk about this," Aelin tries to push him away, but he squeezes her into his chest, and she melts.

That had been his mistake. He should have held Aelik like this and never let her go on pretending to be happy. How could he know everything about this woman and not have seen past her facade? She'd suffered. His own pain had blinded him.

"Aelin, I've made so many mistakes lately." Rowan rubs the back of Aelin's neck the way she likes, and he can feel the sobs starting to build up inside of her. "But the greatest shame of my life is not being there for you when you needed me. I was stupid, Fireheart. I'm not going to be stupid any longer. This separation can't go on, we aren't any happier for it, and I can't live knowing I'm away from the other half of my soul."

Aelin cracks, and he can feel the tears wetting the front of his shoulder. "You were never home. I thought there was someone else, someone who could give you the things you wanted because I can't."

Her whole form is shuddering his arms, and Rowan squeezes tighter as if he can hold her broken pieces together. "It's always been you. I don't care if we adopt or never have any kids at all. All I need is you, baby. You are all I've ever needed."

Suddenly, hands are in Rowan's hair as Aelin crushes their lips together. The kiss is frantic, a relief of the stress they'd carried upon their shoulders.

"I missed you too," Aelin whispers in between kisses. “Gods I mussed you so much.”

The rest of their night is filled with soothing words, frantic kissing, and murmured apologies. Rowan kisses the tears from her cheeks and Aelin looks into his eyes like she’s home. Nail dig into skin as they promise never to be apart again.

For the first time in months they sleep in the same bed. Rowan sinks into a deep restful sleep with his wife in his arms once more. He loves the way her cold toes search out his heat. How Aelin fits so perfectly against his chest. When he wakes up and she’s still there, his heart nearly features from relief.

After months of pain, it's the beginning of their walk towards healing.

The days after aren't perfect. They had legal issues to sort back out, more problems to lay bare to the sunlight. There was arguing, but it lacked actual heat, and they didn't walk away feeling unloved at the end. No longer did they fight to land barbs. Their bickering now served to work towards solutions and to express needs.

Between struggles, the love began to grow back. Rowan kept his job at work, and when he was home, it was about them. He started calling her on his breaks again, and it always astonished him how much he missed the sound of her voice. They both strived to communicate their feelings better and actually listen instead of reacting.

Aelin surprised him with romantic dates, and Rowan read pages of her favorite books to her at night. They danced in the kitchen and laughed at their favorite shows.

Fixing their marriage was hard work, but Rowan and Aelin didn't mind. The separation proved that neither of them wanted a life without the other. It was to whatever end, and they wouldn't accept anything less for them.

On one Sunday morning, Rowan opens his eyes and realizes that Aelin isn't on her side of the bed. Panic surges in him, and he looks around to make sure her things are still there.

They are, and the tension eases from his shoulders until he hears soft crying from the bathroom. Darting out of bed, he grabs Aelin's bathrobe and knocks on their bathroom door. "Aelin, what's wrong?"

Had he screwed something up? Was she sick?

The lock clicks, granting him silent permission for him to come inside. Rowan pushes the door open and finds Aelin crying on the side of the tup. With gentle hands, he wraps her robe around her and throws an arm over her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Aelin looks up at him, a radiant smile on her face. "Look."

Rowan glances down to her clenched fists and-

He blinks, once, twice. Aelin laughs at his dumbfounded face, and it breaks his paralysis. Rowan grabs her around the waist and spins her around the cramped bathroom, the positive pregnancy test clattering to the floor.

Aelin's arms wrap around his neck. The emotion in the room is raw and bittersweet, but there's a hopefulness that can't be denied. Rowan holds her tight as they process the news. When they break apart, the love between them is palpable. They had another shot at this, a fresh start.

Hards times would come and go, but good days were never far behind for them. Because for Aelin and Rowan, it's always been them.

And that's all they needed.

#throne of glass #rowaelin #fanfic #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelinmonth #angst #tog #sjmaas #throne of glass fanfiction #song fic #rowan x aelin #fenrys #day 29

131 notes · View notes

maries-gallery · 3 years

Text

Sorry this is going to be a middle ground between a vent post and a ramble.

So recently I discovered that one of my nsfw blog mutuals was a minor (and by that I mean 15yo and thus violating my rules). Thing is, as they write for nsfw content and interact with other nsfw creators without any problem, I automatically thought that they were at least 18 or in the very bare minimum 17, simply because writing nsfw when you are a minor is illegal and dangerous. But yeah, guess I was too naive so shame on me for being too trusting. No need to mention that we are not mutuals anymore (after one attempt at parting peacefully, them following me again and me having to block them because apparently they couldn’t take a refusal on my part).

Now, I won't point fingers at them because this is not a tribunal and I don't want them to get hate or anything. And if you know which blog I am talking about please do not go in their inbox to send hate because they don’t deserve it and that’s not how you deal with things. Writing this post already annoys me as I am here to have fun and write, not to play policemen or cause drama.

Now thing is, as a minor I can understand if you don't feel comfortable sharing your age, it is totally fine.

But if you are writing nsfw content and interacting with nsfw, you must have your age displayed in your bio. Even if you are a nsfw content creator. And as a minor you shouldn’t be writing nsfw in the first place. Maybe you don’t realise it but not only is this problematic for you but for us nsfw content creators too. I would even add that as a minor writing nsfw content you are endangering yourself and other blogs you interact with, and this is not okay.

Now while I am at it, going to take this as an opportunity to remind you of the rules on this blog. Really I don’t ask for much, just that people aged younger than 17 do not interact and for people aged 17 to stick with my sfw content (which once again is rated appropriately on my blog).

And to minors writing nsfw content (back at it because one can never stress this enough)... I mean I am not your dad, I am not your mom either and you are going to do what you want regardless of what I say. But this is not good for you. I mean, I can understand the wish to learn more about sexuality and all, it's important even more considering school sex ed is very much lacking. It is fine being curious about sex, we’ve all been there. But writing nsfw content on here won't help either and might actually complicate things by giving you a fake view on what sexuality is in real life. Because fanfics are just that : fiction, it is not a real depiction of what happens. Like damn, I’d be super glad if butterflies could really swarm my stomach, you know ?

Anyways, I am sorry if this came off as aggressive or anything. Hopefully this will be the last time I ever have to speak up about this because it is really getting tiring and annoying. Love you all and please take care <3

#rambles #getting this off my chest was nice #because I mean it is important you know ?

43 notes · View notes

lottiebagley · 3 years

Text

7 things- Draco Malfoy

I probably shouldn't say this But at times I get so scared When I think about the previous Relationship we shared

"I hate this," Hermione Granger complains as she drops her bag onto the table opposite her best friend

"And what's this?" The girl speaks with no emotion. She looks almost numb. Clearly tired of everything going on in her life.

"You. You being all sad and depressed. If you like Draco this much just be with him,"

"It's more complicated than that and you know it," she speaks in a harsh tone, her voice low as she glances up to see if Draco and his friends had heard the girl's conversation.

"It doesn't have to be. It's like you guys went through all the drama of getting us on board for like 6 months and then just broke up," Hermione comments, staring at her friend trying to work out what she can say to force her to go and tell her ex-boyfriend she's still madly in love with him.

"Look, Draco decided that I wasn't worth the trouble and that's fine. I am fine. Clearly, he is fine. It's all-"

"Fine you've said," Hermione quips

"Then stop pushing Hermione," she snaps. Hermione's eyes widen a little, not expecting to the reaction but one glance at Draco, who has a slytherin girl from the year below draped across his lap in the library, is enough to let her know that her friends anger wasn't directed at her.

"I can't be here. I'll see you later," she gathers her books, stuffing them into her bag and exiting the library.

Hermione watches Draco, seemingly ignoring his friends as he watches her leave, his usual smirk replaced by a look Hermione isn't quite sure what means but would bet meant he was as in love with her best friend as she was with him.

It was awesome, but we lost it It's not possible for me not to care And now we're standing in the rain But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear My dear

Draco Malfoy was not a stalker, he was not the kind of boy that lurked around just to get a glimpse at a girl. Especially not a muggle born Gryffindor.

He repeats this over and over in his head, willing himself to turn around and walk around while he still can. He could leave right now and no one would ever have to know he was here.

But he couldn't.

Watching her in her quidditch robe, drenched in mud and rain but seemingly happy as she laughs with Fred Weasley, he couldn't just leave. No matter how much he wanted to.

She's walking in his direction, her and Fred at the back of the group but they all walk relatively together. Oliver Wood, who is at the front of the team talking with George, is the first to see him, scowling as he mutters something to George who shoots Draco a dirty look.

She stops when she sees him.

"You go ahead Freddie," she assures

"He's an arrogant prick," Fred mutters, purposely shoving Draco with his shoulder on his was past.

Once the team have retreated far enough to be out of ear shot she lets out a sigh.

"You'll catch a cold standing around in the rain," she comments

"Maybe," He smiles gently before letting out a sigh "I wanted to speak to you though,"

"We share almost all out classes. And they are inside, in the day, where it's not pouring rain,"

"I know that," he snaps, sighing a little "I couldn't talk to you there. I-"

"Oh of course you couldn't. Cause heaven forbid any of your little blood supremacist friends know you want to speak to me. Least of all your new girlfriend, Isabella right? Or is Lilliana this week?"

"Come on. You know they mean nothing," He protests

"They mean enough that you'll be seen with them in public. Which is more than I can say for me,"

"Well I wouldn't wait around in the pouring rain for them," He smiles gently, it drops when the scowl on her face doesn't change

"Is that supposed to be romantic?"

"Kind of," He smirks, she lets out a huff, trying to ignore how much she wants to kiss him

"What do you want?"

"To see how you are," he shrugs

"I'm not your problem anymore Draco. We said we'd both tell our friends and I did and you didn't and then you dumped me. So you don't get to check up on me anymore," she states simply

"I still care about you," he sighs, she could cry on the spot. She forced herself to stop crying over Draco Malfoy weeks ago, but now he's so impossibly close and all she wants is him. She hated that she wanted him.

"Well you shouldn't. Now get inside and warm up before you catch a cold," she demands, he softens, hearing the slight crack in her voice but she slips past him before he can say anything else.

The seven things I hate about you The seven things I hate about you Oh, you You're vain, your games, you're insecure You love me, you like her You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy

"Mr Malfoy your partner is Miss Y/L/N, go and switch seats with Mr Weasley please," Professor Snape demands, moving onto the next pairing of people.

Draco nods when his friends mutter condolences for being paired with her but on the inside his heart is hammering in his chest as he approaches her.

"Hi," he smiles gently, dropping into the seat me to her

"Careful, someone will see," she mutters, he chuckles under his breath, not wanting to draw any attention to them.

"As long as Lilliana doesn't I'm all good,"

"You like her?" She questions, cocking her head to the side in curiosity.

Draco shrugs, beginning to slice the dandelion root as she works on the bat wings.

"Not as much as I like you," he speaks, she rolls her eyes trying to fright the blush on her cheeks "That was smooth right?" He teases

"Until you ruined it by asking," she smiles despite herself, he laughs, turning into a cough when Theo Nott turns around to look at them in curiosity.

"You really do care way too much what other people think Malfoy," she comments

"Yeah," he nods, surprising her a little when he doesn't shoot her claim down.

"Right. Well. Stop doing that," she stumbles a little over her words. He glances at her blushing cheeks.

He doesn't do anything. Doesn't speak. Doesn't smile. Doesn't scowl. Doesn't smirk.

He just stares at her for a full minute before turning back to the cauldron.

Your friends, they're jerks, and when you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you

"What the fuck are you looking at mudblood?" Lilliana, Draco's new girlfriend, spits from under his arm.

She had been staring at Draco, wondering if he was as really happy and wishing he'd cared a little more.

"Not you, but that much is obvious," she snaps back, getting to her feet from the bench on the courtyard she'd been sat, only half listening to Harry and Ron while the group waited for Hermione.

"And now you're going to run off all scared? Pathetic,"

"If you think I'm scared of you, you're wrong,"

"Not quite, I think you're scared of my friends," Lilliana speaks, pulling away from Draco's grip and walking towards the girl "I think you've heard what we do to scum like you and you are scared,"

"Don't talk to her like that," Ron demands, jumping to his feet and Harry doing the same

"Oh, oh Dray isn't that precious? Mudblood's hot herself a boyfriend," Lilliana smirks

"Don't call her that," Harry snarls.

"My, my my, it's a love triangle," she continues.

What hurts the most isn't the words, it's Draco. Draco who is still sat next to Blaise, Theo and Daphne with a passive look on his face.

The girl reaches for her wand but Harry's hand jumps out to stop her.

"She's not worth it. None of them are," Harry grunts, really he means that Draco isn't and she shouldn't let him hurt her, pulling her away with Ron following behind, muttering something about sticking their heads up their asses.

She heard clear as day, Draco Malfoy's laughter ringing through the air. He was truly just like them. Yet, when she glances over shoulder he raises an eyebrow in question asking if she's okay, his friend's blissfuly unaware of the interaction. It takes everything in her to keep her face blank and turn back around.

It's awkward and silent as I wait for you to say But what I need to hear now, your sincere apology When you mean it, I'll believe it If you text it, I'll delete it Let's be clear Oh, I'm not comin' back You're taking seven steps here

She is anxious as she sits in her seat in potions, waiting for Draco to arrive as she bounces her leg. She doesn't know what will happen when he arrives.

Will he act like everything is normal?

Will he apologise for his friends behaviour?

Will he apologise for joining in?

Will he ignore her?

Will he mock her just as they had?

She glances up at the feeling of someone watching her. Eyes landing on Harry who has turned around to see if Draco has arrived, knowing his friend was anxious. He smiles. A comforting and warm smile that she tries to reciprocate although she fears it probably looked more like a grimace.

Draco sits down next to her, immediately his eyes are on her. He can tell she's nervous. Her bouncing leg. Her eyes staring straight ahead. Her bottom lip drawn between her teeth as she chews on it. Anxious habits she hadn't displayed due to his presence in a long time. His heart hurts a little.

He reaches his hand out, placing it gently on her knee to stop the bouncing and is pleasantly surprised when she doesn't pull away from his touch.

"It's just me. You don't need to be nervous," He whispers, butterflies in his stomach when she eases immediately, melting into his touch. Unable to stop herself when she loves him so much

"I wouldn't do anything to hurt you," he whispers.

His heart sinks when that seems to pull her to her senses. She jerks he knee away from him.

"You already did," she speaks lowly and before he can reply Snape has entered the room.

Even when the class are told to work with their partner she remains silent. Draco doing the same. Unsure what to say. Glancing at her and his chest feels tight. He hurt her. He never wanted to do that and god did he love her and everything was a mess.

The class draws to an end and he knows this is his one shot at saying something.

"Look, I never should have ended it. I should have been brave enough to tell my friends- I just- I can't explain it. I'm sorry," He speaks quietly, hiding his voice from the other students in the loud hustle and bustle.

"That's not what I want you to apologise for," She states, shoving her book into her bag.

"Then for what?"

"You let them talk to me like that, you laughed along. That hurt me Draco. You have all this power over them and let you allow them to talk to me like that days after you tell me you care about me,"

She turns on her heel and marches towards her friends who are waiting for her leaving Draco to wonder how he ever thought that anything he was doing was okay.

The seven things I hate about you You're vain, your games, you're insecure You make me laugh, you make me cry I don't know which side to buy Your friends, they're jerks When you act like them, just know it hurts I wanna be with the one I know And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do You make me love you

Draco doesn't see her at all on Saturday although he looks for her at every meal and forces his friends to hang out in the courtyard he knows she likes.

On Sunday though, she seems to be everywhere. At breakfast eating with the twins. By the quidditch pitch as he practices and she goes into Oliver's captains office. Helping Ginny and Luna with some test prep in the library. Flirting with Dean Thomas at lunch.

It's only a matter of time before his friends say something, he knows that, and sure enough when they enter the courtyard Pansy can't keep her mouth shut.

The girls is lounging on a bench, head resting on her hand as she watches the game of exploding snap Harry and Ron are playing from their seats cross legged on the floor. Hermione is sat under the tree next to them, back against the tree as she reads a muggle fiction book. The group look utterly at peace as they enjoy the hot day.

"Oh look, everyone's favourite mudbloods," Pansy groans loudly, drawing the attention of the group.

"Shut the fuck up, Parkinson," Ron snaps, turning back to his game.

"Dean Thomas seems to quite like one of them," Daphne chimes, dropping onto the bench next to Theo a few feet away from them.

"Well he would, word on the street is that her blood isn't the only thing that's dirty. Apparently, she's a whore," Pansy jeers.

At this both Harry and Ron are on their feet, ready to defend their friend as Hermione moves to squeeze her hand comfortingly. What surprises everyone, including the crowd of people watching scene unfold, is that before the boys and Hermione can begin their defensive arguments Draco Malfoy speaks up.

"Shut up Parkinson, just cause you can't get any," He drawls, taking his seat on the bench, eyes trained to the girl who is staring back, utterly bewildered, next to Ron Weasley.

"Merlin Draco, anyone would think you fancied the girl," Pansy smirks, in her mind there was no way the boy wouldn't join in after that comment.

"Just cause I wouldn't go near you with a 10 foot pole doesn't mean you need to be so bitter. Now shut up and drop it," He commands.

Pansy blushes a little but makes one more attempt

"She's a mudblood Draco, what do you care what I say to her,"

"I told you to shut up and drop it, fucking listen to me or leave," He practically growls and Pansy finally gets the hint that he means it, sinking to her seat in humiliation.

The crowd of people watching, all of which are in awe at this point, are only more shocked to see him shoot the girl a smile before turning back to his friends, "You were talking about your mother's latest conquest Zabini," He reminds. Blaise stumbles for a second, confused as to what on the earth is happening but with one sharp look from his best friend he continues with his story.

And compared to all the great things That would take too long to write I probably should mention the seven that I like

Draco is sat alone in the corner of the library, nose in a charms textbook and essay half written in front of him. He doesn't notice anyone's presence and jumps a little when she talks.

"Can we talk?" She asks timidly, looking around the quiet room, it's late and the library is practically empty. He looks up at her with an unreadable expression "Here, I mean. I know we don't talk much in public but-" He cuts off what he is sure will be a nervous ramble

"Take a seat," He commands, it's gentle though. Soft enough she could easily say no.

She doesn't though. She takes the seat opposite him as he puts his quill down.

"What's up?" He questions

"I just wanted to thank you. For defending me earlier and getting her to stop,"

"Well, she was wrong. You aren't a whore and no one has the right to call you that," He shrugs casually

"Would you have stopped her if she hadn't said that? If she had just called me a mudblood I mean?" She asks the question timidly, fingers ringing together on the desk, she stares as she can't quite bring herself to look at him.

"Yes. You were right, I have the power to make them stop and I never did. I should have. I care about you and I like you, merlin I might even love you, and I let what everyone else thought and what they would say stop me from being happy, I do that a lot, but I never should have let them hurt you. I won't forgive myself for that,"

She glances up at him, wondering if she can believe him, but something about the look on his face and the gentleness of his eyes makes her believe him.

"Thank you,"

"I know it's probably too late, but could I ever win you back?"

"Yeah. Easily, lord knows I'm half in love with you already, but I can't put myself through it again. I can't be someone's secret," She explains, he nods "I'll see you around Draco. Thanks again,"

The seven things I like about you Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's When we kiss, I'm hypnotized You make me laugh, you make me cry But I guess that's both I'll have to buy Your hand in mine When we're intertwined, everything's alright I wanna be with the one I know

The next two weeks the entire school seems to be watching. Curious as to why all of a sudden Draco Malfoy is smiling at her in the corridor. Why none of his friends even look at her funny. Why they are laughing together in potions. The shift in their relationship is the talk of the school and everyone seems to care.

It's a Saturday morning and she is walking towards the black lake where most the school were, her friend group included, having decided to meet them down there after she wrote back to her mother.

Draco is leaving his dorm, on his way to look for her. Draco Malfoy is a man on a mission. A look of determination on his face and a fire in his eyes. Having received a letter from home that morning, full of complaints and faults he was done. He was done trying to be the perfect son. He was done trying to live up to expectations. He was done making himself unhappy. Most importantly, he was done pushing away love.

His eyes fall on her the second he exits the castle, she's a few metres ahead, smiling happily and greeting Neville Longbottom on her way past. Draco can just about make out her voice telling him to come and find her and some other Gryffindors later to join their drinks and party games. It was game night in the Gryffindor common room, something she had told Draco already in potions.

Neville scurries past Draco as he speeds up, falling into step beside the girl. He grabs her hand in his and continues walking like nothing is happening. She, however, stills forcing him to stop too, a few feet in front of her.

"What?" He questions casually, she looks between him and their hands a few times, blinking in confusion.

"Dray," She sighs, she wasn't angry but also she didn't want to be led on. Didn't want to be so close only to have him drop her hand the minute anyone sees.

"I don't want you to be my secret. I like you a lot and you are way too good to be anyone's secret. I don't care what anyone thinks, not my friends, not your friends, not my parents. You mean everything to me and I'm not letting you slip through my fingers, so for merlins sake let me hold you hand while I walk you to your friends," He rambles, unaware she feels like she's floating.

She grins, pressing a kiss to his cheek

"I think you missed," He smirks, she giggles a little, a sound Draco wants to hear on repeat for the rest of his life, before pressing her lips to his.

She pulls away way to quickly for Draco's liking "I like you a lot too,"

"Come back here and kiss me then," he pouts dramatically

"I thought you mentioned walking me to my friends," She teases

"You think you're so funny," he complains, hands gripping her waist to pull her back to him. Chest to chest as she beams up at him.

"No you definitely said it, besides, good boyfriends walk their girlfriends places," she smirks.

"Boyfriend?"

"You know you want to be," She shrugs

"I do," he grins "But from what I heard, good girlfriends kiss their charming and attractive boyfriends,"

"Add the word needy to the description and it'll fit you,"

"And then I get a kiss?"

"It's what the good girlfriends do," She agrees, a teasing smile on her face

"All right. Fine. When it comes to you I can be a little needy, but only for you and you can't tell anyone-" She cuts off Draco's ramble by leaning up and pressing her lips back to his.

And the seventh thing I like the most that you do You make me love you

Masterlist

#Draco Malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco x gryffindor!reader #draco malfoy x gryffindor #draco fluff #Harry Potter

176 notes · View notes

itsthestutterforme · 3 years

Text

I Thought You Were Dead (Divergent)

Characters: OG! Character x reader, Four x reader

Summary: Four and Y/N see each other for the first time in two years after she supposedly died in his arms. Things instantly became complicated and Y/N fights to move on from the past. Four disagrees. //SMUT WARNING ⚠️ 18+ ONLY

Tris, Four and Caleb were running away from Eric and his small posse. They boarded a train that was headed towards the city. Little did they know who was on that train. It wasn't just the factionless onboard. It was someone Four never thought he would see again: his ex fiance. His dead ex fiance.

You died in his arm after taking a shot to your jugular vein. You shouldn't have survived, but your heart beat was so faint, it was almost undetectable. Dauntless gave your body to the factionless to bury and one of Evelyn's doctor was able to revive you. Since then, you became Evelyn's second hand.

You boarded this train to make sure things ran smoothly. This particular train had A grade weapons and ammo in it. "Well hello," Edgar taunts Four, Tris and Caleb. "You just destroyed some of our cargo," "We're sorry, we didn't mean to," "Wait, those are Abnegation bolts right?" Caleb continues his rambling until Tris shot him a look.

"You better listen to your sister, punk." Edgar states. Tris lunged towards Edgar but Four held her back. They held eye contact for a moment before they both started fighting with the Factionless. "Y/N, they're fighting!" A woman tells you. "Who's they?" "Edgar and some stowaways," "Oh you've got to be kidding me."

You stand from the floor and runs through the cars until you reached where to swarm of people were gathering. "Enough! What are you children!" You yell and the entire crowd goes silent.

You makes your way towards the front of the crowd and the closer you got, the more beat up faces you saw. "Damn. Now who was the cause of all this," You ask but no one answered.

"Don't answer all at once," "I did," Four says. When you turns around to face the voice, your heart sinks in your chest. "Tobias. Wait, you go by Four, sorry." "You.. you were dead. You died in my arms."

"If it makes you feel any better, I did die. My heart stopped for thirty seconds," You say with a soft chuckle to lessen the tension.

You were debating on going up to him or staying where you were. Four stares at you like you were a ghost. In his mind, you were. And now you are standing in front of him two years later, alive and breathing. "I kept seeing you around the Square, was that really you or just a figament of my imagination?"

"I-" "Y/N, we're close to drop off," Edgar says. "Alright, all of you make sure you get yourselves clean up before you put away the cargo," You announce. "Yes, Y/N." They all say. "We'll have to talk about this later, I'm sorry," You say before walking passed them and walking to the first car.

"Who is she?" Tris asks, but Four doesn't say anything. You look over your shoulder to see Four staring at you. You break eye contact and close the car door. A few moments later, the train came to a full stop and those who were injured went to the infirmary. The rest unloaded the cargo.

You jump out of the car into your boyfriend's arms. He spins me around and captures your lips in a hot kiss. You hum into the kiss and caress his cheekbone with your thumb. "I was worried about you," he says, his eyes slowly scanning your face. "I can take care of myself, Beck,"

The whole time you were having a conversation with Beck, Four couldn't keep his eyes off you. Tris obviously noticed and stormed off, Four and Caleb followed after her.

"I know, but when I saw Edgar's face, I--" "Edgar is a hot headed and deserved that punch," "Wait, so you punched him?" "No, I wish I did though," you say, making him chuckle. You bite your bottom lip until the skin turned white and you close your eyes for a moment.

"Uh oh, I know that face. What happened?" "Things have gotten a little complicated." "How complicated?" "Tobias is here with some others. He goes by Four now," You say softly, looking at Beck's face for a reaction. "Four? What, was one, two and three all taken?"

You slap the back of his neck and he smiles at you playfully. "Play nice," you scold. "Oh but you love it when I'm mean," he says before kissing me again. "But truthfully, is there anything that I should be worried about?"

"Of course not, what happened between us is in the past." You explain. "But what happened between you was more than just romance. He was the love of your life, Y/N. You were going to marry him. Compared to him, I'm just a booty call." "Hey," You warn.

You jump out of his arms and hold his face in your hands. "Listen to me, you are much more than a booty call. Don't you ever forget that. Not after everything we've been through," You explain. "Y/N," Evelyn calls. "We need you in here," she adds. You press one kiss to his lips and another to his forehead.

"We'll talk about this later," You say before advancing towards the Evelyn's office. You've been saying that a lot lately and it didn't leave a good taste in your mouth. You hated drama and you especially hated when you were involuntarily placed in it.

When you entered Evelyn's office to see Four, Caleb and Tris sitting across from Evelyn. Oh hell. "You called for me?" "I figured that you would be best to explain to Tobias-" "His name is Four," You and Tris say in unison. "Right, sorry," Evelyn says.

"I don't know if I'm the right person for this. I've already caused enough mayhem as it is." "Then set it right. You are the queen of that and many things." Evelyn stands and leaves the room, leave everyone staring at me. "Alright, let's talk," you say with a huff.

"Answer the question, were you actually there at the Square or was that a figment of my imagination?" "I was there-" "Why?" "I had to see you but I was too scared to physically be there," "Why?" "Why wouldn't I?" "So the woman that left me with my abusive father could confront me but you couldn't," he snaps.

"I was going to, until I saw that you were happy with her," You say, referencing to Tris. "You deserved to be happy, so i--" "So you abandoned me? Seems like you took a page out of my mother's handbook," "That is not fair, and we both know what would have happened if I came back!" You state.

"What would have happened?" Tris speaks up softly. You look to her and your heart broke for her. You felt like you just tore her whole world apart. "It doesn't matter because I'm done dwelling on the past. Right now I'm focused on the future and taking down Jeanne." "That's all I am? The past?"

"I knew you when you were Tobias. And you knew me as Y/N/N. We both aren't those people anymore." "Listen to me," Four reaches out and holds my hands and Tris starts to cry. "I was able to move on because I thought you were dead. But I still have nightmares about you, about you dying over and over again."

"I'll always love you, Toby. But things are different now." You pull away from his hands and add, "Your mom and I are willing to go to war to get rid of the factions and to go against Jeanne. With you guys on our side, the chances of winning are that much greater. I'll give you guys some time to think things through and I'll make sure Evelyn doesn't intrude."

You give Four a once over before standing up to leave. "Y/N," "Stop, it's over," You say to him before rushing towards the door. As soon as you leave the room, you release a loud huff. "That bad huh?" Beck asks. You look over your shoulder and smile lightly. He closes the gap between you and places his hands on your hips.

You wrap your arms under his arms and say, "Yes, it was that bad. I think I just ruined their relationship." "What? Why?" he asks. "He just admitted that he still have feelings for me." You explain. He pulls away from you and asks, "Do you still have feelings for him?" "You said it yourself, I was going to marry the guy. Those feelings don't just go away."

"Then why don't you go be with him then?" Beck says before storming off in the opposite direction. "Wait, Beck, please let just talk about this." "There's nothing to talk about."

Later that night, you decided to go for a walk to clear your head and to have a good cry. You were on your way back when you heard a twig breaking. You decided to walk slower so the attacker thought they had the advantage. You went into a tunnel and waited on top for the attacker.

When they came out of the tunnel, you jumped onto their shoulders and tackled them to the ground. It wasn't until they turned around that you realized it was Four. "Four what the hell?" You scold. Your body perfectly draped over his. "I'm sorry," he says. "For what?" "For ruining everything,"

"There's no one to blame here, but that doesn't make us feel better about any of it, does it?" "No, it doesn't." "We should get back before Evelyn starts to worry." You say, trying to stand up from him.

He pulls you back down and pushes your hair back. "Four, not here." You warn and his eyes drift from your eyes to your lips. "Then where?" You two stumble into an empty loft from on the higher levels of the compound. You closed the door, and turned around to face Four.

He slowly approached you. He takes your hand into his and caressed the back of it with his thumb. You softly sigh at his touch and you watch as he brings your palm up to his lips for a kiss.

He holds the side of your face and you lean into his hand. You find yourself pressing your lips to his and time slowed down to a crawl. His hands fell to the back of your thighs and you completely let yourself go. He wraps your legs around his waist and your hands fell to the back of his neck. Our lips moved in perfect sync and your eyes fluttered closed.

He walks you to the bed and sat down with you in your lap. His hands ghost of over your ass before turning you around so your back was against the bed. You pull off your shirt and work on taking off your pants. He takes off his shirt and in a second, his body was draping over yours. You happily let his lips devour your neck as pulls off your tights.

He pinches your clit through your underwear and your body jolts forwards. "Four, we can't- I--" He silences you with kiss. "I remember how loud you can get," he says with a smile. He kisses down your stomach and massages your breasts through your bra. A breath hitches in your throat when he kisses your clothed bundle of nerves.

"Just relax, baby," he says, pulling my underwear off and tossing then to the side. He takes you into his mouth and your back arches off the bed. He drags his tongue along the top wall and dips it under the hood of your clit while he circles it with his thumb.

A knot was already starting build in your stomach.You always hated how quickly he could make you cum. He notices your leg starting to close so he presses them down with his elbows. You was helpless under him.

He started to speed up his actions and a loud moan leaves your lips. He pulls away a little to nip at the skin next to my bundle of nerves.

You look down at him and watch as he sends you a loving gaze. You held eye contact with him as he continues to lick and suck at your pussy. He curled his tongue at just the right spot to make you fall apart. Your body went rigid and you breath heavily as you ride out your high.

"You're so beautiful," he says after he sucks your juices from his fingers. He straddles my waist and cups my cheeks as he kisses you. The breath leaves your lungs the more rough his kisses get. You dig your nails into his back and he moans in your mouth. His airy moans makes my folds grow slick and he cups my pussy.

You jolt your hips in attempt to gain friction and he smiles. "Look at how eager you are," "Please, Four, just fuck me already." He attacks your neck with hickeys and you moan softly into his ear. You push him on his back and pull back his boxers. You bite your lip when you see his dick spring free from them.

He grabs you and scoots closer towards the headboard. You stand on your feet and slowly sink on top him. Your head falls back as your expand around him. Once you adjust to him, you rock your hips back and forth. He digs his finger nails into your hips which make you speed up your thrusts.

"Fuck, Y/N, just like that," he moans. You spell out the letter W over and over again until you feel his dick twitch inside of you. You stimulate yourself by rubbing your clit and your second orgasm came crashing over like a wave. His body freezes in its place as his cum fills me up.

You roll off of him and brush your hair from your face. He pulls you into his chest and pressed a lingering kiss on your forehead. As you lay on his chest, you think of how heartbroken Beck is. You told him there was nothing to worry about and later that night, you're sleeping with your ex-fiance.

Tears of guilt prick your eyes and you try to hide it but an unexpected sniffle left my lips "Hey, what's wrong? Did you not want to-" "No, it wasn't about that," You pull away from him and rest you back against the headboard. You pull your knees towards your chest and lean your chin on your knee caps.

"Talk to me," he says as he positioned himself so he is sitting right in front of you. "I feel like a liar," You say, wiping away some of your tears. "Why?" "I told Beck that you weren't a problem and now look at us." You burst into tears and sobs into your knees.

"This isnt your fault," "I ruined something really good, Toby. I mean Four- I'm so- I should just leave," You try to leave the bed but he pulls you back onto the bed. "You can call me Toby, Y/N. You have the right to call me that. You were the only good part of my child hood." He holds the side of your face and you turn away from him.

"All I ever do is hurt people. No matter how hard I try, I'll always hurt people. I can't talk you about Beck and I can't talk t-" "Why can't you talk to me about Beck?" "You're asking me what's wrong with gellinby my ex fiance about my ex boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I see where the problem is," he says with a chuckle. You don't laugh, you can't. You hold your face in your hands. "I'm here you as anything you want me to be. We don't have to have sex to tell each other that we care for each other." You look up from your hands and at him. "I'm serious," he adds.

"Thank you," you whimper. He presses another kiss to your forehead before pulling you closer to him and draping an arm over your torso as you two spooned. And for the first time in a long time, you felt okay.

#divergent fic #tobias eaton #divergent fanfiction #divergent #theo james #theo james x reader

347 notes · View notes

mc-critical · 3 years

Note

What are your thoughts on on how Hatice handled Esmanur? Do you think Ibrahim had a right to a relationship with Esmanur given what he had done to Hatice? Do you think there was even a morally correct way to handle the situation? Admittedly until this day I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. I truly hated Ibrahim for cheating on Hatice and she had every right to feel everything she has felt, and she refused to kill or hurt Esmanur and even allowed Nigar/Ib to see her, but I remember Ibrahim wanting more and it makes me wonder if that was realistic or even possible..

I certainly find Ibrahim's infidelity to be one of his worst actions: I know that despite of Hatice pulling rank on him out of ignorance and not malice, it hurt him a lot to hear what he heard from one of his most loved people and I get why he may feel alienated and want to distance himself from Hatice for a little bit, but he took it way too far at some point, both deluding Nigar and upsetting Hatice in the process. I disliked how he didn't even want to listen to what his wife had to say most of the time and didn't tell her anything at all. It all went way past Hatice pulling rank in that one scene in E29 (in which also Ibrahim didn't answer anything to Hatice's accusations even before she uttered these words - I get that he was simply in shock that she would ever accuse him of infidelity like this, but Ibrahim's silence only made matters worse.) and I'm sorry, but yes, she had the absolute right to feel how she felt and I stand behind her much more than I do Ibrahim in this, even though both motivations are perfectly understandable.

I honestly think Hatice acted in the best way she knew how when it came to Esmanur: in her decision, she regarded both her position as a member of the dynasty and a part of the family and strived to do as little harm as she possibly could. Because according to law, she could've killed all three and Valide Hafsa had the exact same fear and imagined it in her head when she went to SS in E58. Not to mention that SS left the decision to Hatice alone and he said that he wouldn't oppose whatever she decided. She could've freely ended their lives and no one could really judge her for it, but she chose not to. Secretly hiding Esmanur and especially lying to Nigar that her daughter was dead was definetly a shady move, but I guess that she considered that some kind of punishment was in order. The infidelity got to her dynastic pride and dignity in a massive way and that's why she refused to accept the daughter for so long and decided to rather hide her, pretend she didn't exist, yet still have someone care for her far away. Ibrahim also wrote her a letter where he said that he didn't regret anything and that broke Hatice's heart even more and put her in denial in her persistent insistence for him to burn it.

Hatice's arc about forgiving Ibrahim in relation to the Esmanur storyline developed in two levels: first she wanted for them to begin anew by themselves, without anyone else around, then she wanted for them to begin anew with Esmanur, too, hence again, dynastic pride and family values clash once again with each other in Hatice and find their resolve. She let Ibrahim see Esmanur, but it took her a while to do that: because is it easy to accept the daughter of another woman? Not to mention how in some moments Ibrahim seemed to value her more than his kids with Hatice, because he considered her as something out of the dynasty's hand, that could be fully his and that even resembled his own past self to some extent. She was the daughter of Teo, the fisherman in Parga, not of the grand vezier Ibrahim Pasha, the position that puts so many expectations on the person who wields it. That's why he always demanded more and that's also why Hatice showed so much resistence at first: to her, he not only violates the laws of the dynasty, but tarnishes the honor of the family and puts it in such an awkward position. Because Hürrem is right in that Esmanur, the sweet little girl, would be the walking reminder of the infidelity and what Hatice and Ibrahim have gone through, and that's the very thing they want to somehow get over. To Hatice, if the daughter ever comes in her own home, it would make the recovery from the situation much harder. Because she wants to forgive Ibrahim, but to do that, she has to get over some deep seated beliefs of her own.

When some time passed, when both slowly seemed to go back to normal, she was ready to accept her, underlined in her going to see her. Here she fully takes Ibrahim's feelings into account: she realized how much that daughter means to him and since a child is one of the biggest family values, too, to her (as seen in her consistently strong wish to have a child in her desired family throughout S01 and S02, along with her earlier biggest losses being losses of children), she can go as far as accept it in her home, to start over as a new, better, more stable family and have the wishes of both her and Ibrahim be fulfilled accordingly. But the needs of both once again clash and the roles reverse: because now Ibrahim doesn't want to have her in their home, but to have more than that, to go in his own accord in order to still preserve what he values the most about this daughter, along with his fatherly love for her. Hatice and Ibrahim succeed to truly start over only when they find a compromise in the front of Esmanur, as well - for Ibrahim to go see her when he wants (and give her to Matrakcı), but not to have her in Hatice's home and I find that the most moral solution of the issue, when it comes to the time period, his crime and Ibrahim himself.

Still, that's my opinion and I don't think a true moral solution can be offered, again judging by both the infidelity and the time period, which makes the situation even more iffy and complicated. The moral solution I would chose when it comes to Nigar would be for Matrakcı to give her the location of the daughter after Ibrahim's death for her to go there and live with Esmanur in piece. As I mentioned in the ask about Nigar as a whole, I consider this the perfect narrative send-off for her character, as well: a happy ending she absolutely deserves. Her efforts to find and permanetly take her daughter in her arms would finally pay off and she would preserve a memory of what she sees as the best moments of her life. Enough time would have passed for her to have "paid" for her crime, so I think it would be just for her to find happiness eventually.

[Side note: Plot and drama convenience aside, I believe Matrakcı didn't tell Nigar where her daughter is because of deep or maybe already subconscious resentment of Nigar after he divorced her right in their marriage's first night and the whole "horn on his door" situation happening. Yes, he logically has to resent Ibrahim for this, because he caused it in the first place, but I always felt that like Nigar, Matrakcı had such tremendous loyalty for Ibrahim that he idealized him. And even when he called him out on his methods both in the horn situation and the beggining of S03, he eventually let it slide and held no grudge. He refused to talk to Nigar whatsoever after the horn incident and he told her some very harsh words when he was drunk and it's very possible that he didn't let it go completely. They have broken his heart when it came to love (Sadıka) and it's also possible that this may have hardened him or he simply loves Ibrahim that much to blame him for stuff for long or maybe internalized mysoginy? It's solely a theory of mine (and the internalized mysoginy part may be a stretch), but it would make sense.]

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #hatice sultan #ibrahim pasha #nigar kalfa #esmanur #ask #stuffandthangs

59 notes · View notes

somerpmemes · 3 years

Text

Killing Eve S2 Starters

Change as needed

“I think I might’ve killed her.”

“Sorry, were you saving this seat for someone?”

“Oh my god, you think I’m a junkie.”

“This is your fault.”

“Do you know how to dispose of a body?”

“Stab wound. It’s really gooey.”

“Women don’t stab.”

“Sometimes when you love someone you will do crazy things.”

“Well, good news. I was fired!”

“Well, you certainly seem completely normal.”

“You’re really good at stealing, you should do it more.”

“Tell me about your windows, ___. Tell me everything about them.”

“I fell off a horse.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s a waste of my time and yours.”

“You snore, you know.”

“It’s really bad. You look like a pizza.”

“You can see scary people a mile away, it’s the good people you have to worry about.”

“I mean, who do you even work for!?”

“Home? Is that really what you want? I mean, what do people do at home?”

“You know, I’ve been thinking… all day.”

“There’s no way out of this job. You need this, you can’t leave.”

“You can tell me anything but not telling me… I can’t do that.”

“I bought a shit ton of really expensive windows.”

“You really have changed.”

“No matter how rich and famous you are, you’ll always end up with your dick out on a slab.”

“So you’re not completely heartless.”

“This is how it works, we have to talk.”

“I don’t think he saw us.”

“Just pretend not to remember to hurt my feelings.”

“What do you know about psychopaths?”

“Let’s get this over and done with, shall we?”

“Stop it, ___. I can feel your excitement.”

“Don’t get all giddy and sing along to the radio in my car.”

“I think you’re going to bleed to death.”

“You know what? I’ve had a really shitty couple of days. And I really, really need to go to a doctor.”

“You’re on a very tight leash from now on.”

“Honestly it feels like I’m losing my mind a little bit.”

“Change the subject.”

“Why should I lie about this?”

“You still have something worth having. Don’t let her take it.”

“Look what happens to the people she loves. She’ll love you to death.”

“What did you do, did you murder someone?”

“This looks… delicious. What is it?”

“I’ll just masturbate onto this omelette then, I guess.”

“That doesn’t sound boring or discreet, does it?”

“You don’t need any help in the failure department from me.”

“Add it to the bill.”

“This is gonna be like pulling teeth.”

“You’d better put on something really slutty.”

“It’s gonna be so slutty, I promise.”

“You have a bit of fluff, can’t have that.”

“It sounds a bit manipulative.”

“You weren’t listening were you?”

“___, you are making a mistake.”

“This is a terrible hug.”

“I don’t normally get angry, ___, it makes me feel sleepy.”

“One cock-up is an accident, two cock-ups starts to look like carelessness.”

“She just won’t shut up about being vegan.”

“I’ll put your head in a box.”

“Don’t be a snub.”

“What’s with the shirt?”

“Seriously, do not go shopping on your own again.”

“What? It was free.”

“You could almost say it’s none of your business.”

“Pretty cowardly to get someone else to do your dirty work.”

“Coming home to this is not fun.”

“None of this is normal.”

“What do you mean ‘home’? Where is that exactly?”

“Try focusing on the job at hand.”

“This is taking ages.”

“It’s a computer, it’s not magic.”

“I think I once got a handjob in here.”

“Do you ever not talk about sex?”

“God, this is disgusting.”

“Did you drop this?”

“It’ll be easier if you come with me.”

“What do you think he’s saying?”

“I don’t think anything would work.”

“Did you know babies literally steal the calcium from your teeth?”

“Let’s put a hit out on me!”

“You are joking? I can’t tell if you’re joking.”

“___, it’s a crazy idea!”

“Yeah that’s weird, ‘cause it is. It is your job.”

“You’re being very sneaky, ___.”

“You chose THAT photo!?”

“You used to be smarter than this.”

“Your trousers are rather tight these days.”

“I always worry about being crushed under one of these. They don’t seem stable, do they?”

“Well, this is flattering.”

“You know it’s very brave, what you’re doing.”

“No guts, no glory, right?”

“Don’t do anything stupid. Okay?”

“That’s a little arrogant, don’t you think?”

“You’ve been so distracted lately I thought you forgot about me.”

“Are you scared?”

“You know, I should be more afraid of you.”

“I’m about to be in mourning.”

“You know I’m here to kill you?”

“Of course it isn’t poison!”

“I’m expensive.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“It’s always a weapon.”

“I got you what you wanted. A thank you would be nice.”

“You are just take, take, take.”

“You look like someone stuck a mustache on some fudge.”

“Do you want me to love you or do you want me to frighten you?”

“This feels like a one-night stand.”

“I was up all night, trying to work out why I felt so unbelievably shitty and sad.”

“You wouldn’t have understood.”

“Don’t ask me to stay. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Don’t leave me alone!”

“I can’t stand breakfast. It’s just constant eggs. Why? Who decided?”

“There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed.”

“Have you come here to yell at me?”

“You’re not yelling but it feels like you’re yelling.”

“You do know what I do, right?”

“Do I get a watch with a laser in it?”

“Nothing a B.J. and a compliment won’t fix, in my experience.”

“I don’t think a B.J. will help.”

“You will never understand how much harder it is to be nice, and normal, and decent than it is to be like you.”

“I wish I was better. A better person.”

“It’s hard. But it gets easier.”

“Don’t speak to me like that, ___. I like you, but I don’t like you that much.”

“The only thing that makes you interesting is me.”

“I have real trouble telling the truth.”

“Most of the time… most days I feel… nothing.”

“I hurt myself, it doesn’t hurt. I buy what I want, I don’t want it. I do what I like, I don’t like it. I’m just so bored.”

“Why do rich people talk like children?”

“I wanted to be helpful.”

“I dread to think where you’ll be happy, ___.”

“Ignore him, he’s an asshole.”

“You ask a lot of questions. You seem to have the mind of a five year old.”

“People will eat anything if you cut it thin enough and put hot sauce on it.”

“You don’t know if you’re telling the truth or not?”

“I feel things when I’m with you.”

“I don’t like eavesdroppers.”

“That’s a little presumptuous.”

“Send me a text when you’re finished or otherwise I’ll worry that you’ve been murdered or something.”

“I don’t like rich men.”

“Your little plan seems to be working.”

“I’m running out of good safe words.”

“Wow. You’re a hoarder.”

“You always look so annoyed to see me.”

“I see you got what you wanted.”

“What is this? Razor wire?”

“Why do I need a safe word?”

“I’m here for work.”

“How much of the day do you spend thinking about her?”

“Do you feel unsafe?”

“It has to be perfect. There is no point if it isn’t perfect.”

“You’ll be bored.”

“You look like a painting. You’re so… still.”

“Do you ever get lonely?”

“Are you going to listen all night?”

“You should let yourself go once in a while.”

“Listen I really don’t need to talk about this.”

“What a weird-looking gentleman.”

“I played dead, the hero’s technique.”

“Let’s go, now.”

“You’ll never get bored here. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Do you think I would kill you, ____?”

“This can’t be for nothing.”

“None of it means anything.”

“You think you’d be fine without me?”

“If I get shot I want you to remember that it is your fault.”

“If you see anything scary just leave, okay? Don’t be brave.”

“Best to make a swift exit when things get complicated.”

“You did exactly what you wanted. This is all your idea.”

“She wouldn’t do the same for you.”

“You can’t be on her side and ours.”

“You’ve got a noose on your neck. I’m offering to take it off.”

“I’m risking a lot to save your ass here.”

“I thought we were friends.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“God, you’re such a drama queen.”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.”

“I bet your kids are ugly.”

“You’re not scared are you?”

“I don’t get scared.”

“They will take you apart for this.”

“Do you know the way out of here?”

“Do you think if we died down here anybody would notice?”

“You’ll feel better soon. I’ll look after you.”

“You want me to be a mess. You want me to be scared.”

“This is what you wanted.”

#killing eve #rp #rp starters #rp meme #starters #sentence starters #sentence starter meme #ask meme

55 notes · View notes

pop-punklouis · 4 years

Note

top five HL fanfic!!!!

biiiiitch you all know how hard it is for me to choose only 5. but sigh FINE here’s my all-time favorite list that isn’t 5 sorry i can’t choose 😔:

• Here in the Afterglow (89k)

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.” 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

• Coax the Cold (86k)

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

• Wild and Unruly (124k)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

• This Wicked Game (70k)

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

• Love is a Rebellious Bird (135k)

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

• Fixated On One Star (53k)

Louis is just a boy with the world on his shoulders, and Harry's just a boy from the wrong side of the galaxy. A little thing like love doesn't stand a chance against a thousand years of war, at least until the right two come along to break the mold.

Or: space Romeo and Juliet AU

• Finding Lou (60k)

Louis is the nomadic stranger who wanders into Harry’s bookstore. Harry is the skeptic who falls for him.

• California Sold

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

• Empty Skies (134k)

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.

Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

• And Then a Bit (159k)

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts. (aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

• Dream Awake (31k)

The sun leaks through the tent wall behind him the way it leaks through eyelids, bathing the boy in an ethereal half-light as he croons. The crowd is mesmerized. Louis is mesmerized. This is the most important person in the world, he thinks wildly, and then can't figure out how to take it back.

On a hazy day in August, Louis sees Harry perform at a music festival as an unsigned act and convinces him to spend the rest of the weekend in his company. Harry gets signed; life changes. They never really wake up from the dream.

• Say You’ll Remember (93.5k)

au. louis and harry are best mates that are only half aware that they're also soulmates. alternatively, louis goes to university and harry travels the world, and they always manage to find their way back to each other.

takes place over nine years, in which they love and hurt, make mistakes and learn, and above all, grow.

• Outwit, Outplay, Outlast (61k)

Survivor All-Stars AU in which Harry and Louis are just in this game to win the million dollars, but they end up with something better.

Featuring Harry's yellow swim shorts, Louis in snapbacks, and OT5 shenanigans.

• Nothing Else But Us Right Here (35k)

Louis sighs and gives himself a mental pep talk as he smooths his jumper down over his hips. He can do this. He can resist the draw of Harry Styles, because he is a responsible, mature adult, and as much as he wants to tangle his fingers in that mess of hair and map those ridiculous tattoos with his tongue, he does not want to get his daughter’s favorite teacher fired.

• Wings to Break Your Fall (103k)

strip club AU. Harry’s work and family are keeping him busy. He really isn’t looking for a relationship, doesn’t want one. He just wants Louis. Problem is, Louis has other plans.

• Leave it to the Breeze (81k)

Louis couldn’t be prouder of his bake, but there’s something—there’s something. Something about Harry Styles and the earnest way he measures, pours, mixes, scrapes. Something about the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he knocks the air out of his batter.

or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people's business. also featuring liam as louis's best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.

• You Come Beating Like Moth’s Wings (81k)

Harry smiles. He's only known Louis for about two hours, knows nothing about him past his first name, but he's nice and sarcastic and helpful and so, so pretty. And Harry's still got a few days left in Barcelona, and he thinks he wouldn't mind spending them with Louis.

Also known as, Harry takes the summer before uni to travel Europe and meets Louis in Barcelona, and they end up traveling together.

• Hold Me Closer (36.5k)

Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company's history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

• In Vogue (121k)

Fashion AU. Louis is the editor in chief of Vogue magazine, and Harry's running British GQ. Featuring Zayn as the crazy creative director and Louis' confidant, Liam as the sports writer that gets to sit front row at fashion week and DJ Neil as the only sane person in the whole story. (There are no skinny jeans in this fic)

• These Things Will Never Change for Us at All (1.5k)

The room falls silent as they stay wrapped up in each other. Harry can feel Louis’ soft breaths on his neck, and he almost thinks Louis’ fallen asleep until he says softly, “How did you know you were in love with me?”

Or, Harry and Louis look back on five years.

• A Runaway American Dream (15k)

AU. they take route 66 with only each other and their secrets.

• Things Have Gotten Closer to the Sun (49k)

it’s strange, making the choice to face his past—it almost feels like he’s heading for the sun straight on, like he’s screaming come on and burn me, i deserve it.

when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

• Here (in your arms) (60k)

the one where Louis is a successful real estate agent and Harry works at a retirement home. They’ve never had a real home. Up until now.

(Starring Liam Payne as a fitness trainer, Zayn as an artist, and Niall, who busks.)

• These Inconvenient Fireworks (190k)

Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

• In Dreams (23k)

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

• My Heart is Breathing for this Moment in Time (160k)

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old. Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they’re put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn’t know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry’s always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

• Paint the Sky with Stars (63k)

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom. Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform. By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help. Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

• Through Eerie Chaos (102k)

For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.

#whew!#favorite fics #grey

171 notes · View notes