#my aspie brother
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Family Matters (Fredrick Chilton x reader)
Synopsis: Will and Jack get to see a side of Doctor Chilton no one was aware existed.
A/n: I have not watched Hannibal in a hot minute but my thirst for Raul is strong. We are also just going to pretend our little baby is perfectly fine and NOT in danger.
Warnings: Family stuff, mentions of crimes, tooth-rotting fluff, my bad writing
Y/n sat outside by the pool watching her three-year-old and four-year-old children play around in the water splashing around happily with each other as she rubbed her swelling baby bump. Jasper and Aspen were completely content to battle it out in the shallow end of the pool. It was a nice summer day in Baltimore and Y/n was hoping these activities would wear the children out before their father came home. Sadly it didn't seem to be the case when she hears the family dog Sigmund start barking happily alerting Y/n that someone had just come home.
Throwing a glance over her shoulder she smiles seeing her husband patting the pup affectionately before the children are drawn to his presents.
"Daddy!" Aspen giggles and toddles out of the water as fast as her chubby legs could carry her rushing towards her father's waiting arms even in his full suit from work. Something that caught his company off guard.
"Hello, my darling girl" Fred smiles lifting her into his arms not paying much mind to how dripping wet she was, or the fact his wife had called after Aspen to get a towel.
"Wait...Aspy I want a hug from daddy too" Jasper the four-year-old cried also rushing out to his father who had moved to the pool deck.
"Now now Jasper of course you can have a hug too, no wining" Fredrick teases and sets his daughter down kissing her head before hugging his son. Aspen instantly peered around and noticed her father's two coworkers awkwardly watching the out-of-character display.
"Who are they? Your friend's daddy?" Aspen asks looking up at him with her bright green eyes. "Hi daddy's friends" She says not waiting for an answer causing Y/n to giggle at her daughter shifting to rise from her chair.
"Yes Aspen..now daddy and mommy need to talk can you go swim with Jasper and show him all the cool tricks you learned at lessons?" Fred hums catching her attention and she nods taking her older brother's hand and toddling off to the pool once more.
Now with the children, busy Frederick came to properly say hello to his wife. Seven months pregnant and still trying to come to him.
"Ahahah Mama, you stay right there " He hums moving to her side settling his wife back down and brushing back her hair "I need to speak with Agent Graham and Crawford about some case stuff in my office. I couldn't finish it at work I'm sorry my love"
"Thats alright handsome...oh no Aspen got your suit all wet" Y/n sighs taking in the damage of his expensive suit for work "leave it on the bed and I'll handle it okay" She fusses and he chuckles
"My love they are just clothes and its just water, it will dry on its own" He attempts to sooth her and she lets out a huff
"I know I know, but you are always so proud of your clothes baby. Ill make sure it doesn't winkle" Y/n hums and he relents nodding and leaning down to press a kiss onto her swollen stomach. “Are they staying for dinner” she adds smoothing his hair.
“I’m not sure…will gets a bit antsy when someone else prepares food” Fred hums and y/n nods gently
“Well you better invite them just in case. I won’t have them thinking we’re rude” she says sternly and Fred let’s out a small chuckle.
“Well they-“ Chilton is stopped by a finger to his lips
“Let me change the phrase..I won’t have them thinking I am rude. Now go, I have to get the little goblins bathed and wound down before dinner” she hums and he nods kissing her once more before departing to his office.
While her husband was busy, Y/n let the children play a bit longer before ushering them inside to wash off the chlorine and put on pjs. Turning on a child friendly movie Y/n sits on the couch with Aspen between her knees gently braiding the dark brown locks she inherited from her father while Jasper snuggled siggy on the love seat.
Once finished with her daughter Mrs chilton rose and headed to the kitchen to finish with dinner. She took into account of what her husband said and decided to go for a less meat heavy dish. Opting to make the children there chicken casadillas and a nice creamy Alfredo for the adults. She was just in the middle of cutting up the salad when three pairs of footsteps had her eyes rising to the hall. Fredrick was still speaking to Agent Crawford as they walk down the hall being tailed by a tall man with a mop of unruly curls and black circles under his eyes. She didn’t like how anxious the poor man seemed and bit her lip about to say something when Aspen bounces into the room.
“Daddy daddy look I drew a picture” His little girl giggles lifting the page with scribbles on it. A wide grin broke over his face as he turned his attention to her.
“That is beautiful my love. Look at this boys” he turns and shows his companions. Jack who had children of his own knew how to play along cooing over how magnificent it is while Will looked a bit lost.
“What do you think mister daddy’s friend” aspen urges in a way only she could causing will go clear his throat.
“That’s…definitely a picture” he decided on saying causing Aspy to look a bit exasperated her little nose scrunching up hands falling to her hips in a manner that reminded Y/n to much of Fred.
“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you like it” she says in a stern little voice tapping her foot causing Jack to chuckle and will to tilt his head with a small sigh.
“It could be better” Will says and the room fall silent just as Fred was about to rip him a new one Aspen cuts in.
“You’re probably right. It needs more shading on mommy’s hair” and with that she takes the paper and rushes back to the living room.
“You got lucky there…I was expecting her to start crying or Chilton to rip your head off” Jack muses coming over to Y/n and leaning on the counter.
“Oh not little Aspen. She’s too much like her father to cry infront of a stranger” She hums moving to pull three beers out of the fridge for the men. “Dinner is almost ready if you two would like to stay. I didn’t cook any meat or anything it’s all relatively vegetarian aside from the children’s meal”
Will watching as mrs Chilton rings her hands a bit anxiously. He notices that she wants to make sure he is comfortable which is something most people don’t do. Jack was about to deny the invitation when Graham beats him to it.
“I would like that very much.” He says curtly and takes a swig of beer ignoring how Fredrick and Jack look at him confused.
“Great you boys go sit at the table I’ll wrangle the children” Y/n smiles gently rubbing her hand down her husbands arm and Will watches him instantly relax. It was odd seeing Chilton in such a…domestic state, far from the domineering, obnoxious and annoying doctor he was professionally.
Slowly they make there way to the table, Fred sitting at one end Jack on the other. Just as he was about to sit the two children come skipping to the room and much to Wills dismay sit opposite each other. So either way he would have to be near a kid. It’s not that he didn’t like children…Will always wanted some of his own…it was more that he didn’t know how to talk to a child. Never having much practise and this little Aspen creature was very chatty. So doing some quick deducing he was going to sit next to the boy but a little hand stopped him.
“Mister if you sit here with me Siggy will come sit under your feet. He loooooves this side of the table and I saw you like him” she says cheerfully and Will was shocked at how much she paid attention to his behaviour
“Well I-“
“The only reason he likes that side Aspen is because you drop food on the floor for him” Jasper pipes up and Will watches the girls head twist to glower at her brother
“That is not true. And you can’t prove that it is” Aspen retorts sticking out her tongue. Causing Fredrick to stifle his laughter after a glare from his wife.
“Children. Stop it, you are being rude to our guests. Please will sit wherever you like” Y/n says gently patting his arm “I can move Aspen if you’d like to sit next to Freddie”
“No no..it’s okay” Will says and sits down slowly next to the small girl who was happily swinging her feet looking up at her father. Will caught Fredrick make a silly face causing his little girl to erupt into laughter.
Soon after that dinner was on the table and Y/N finally sat down rubbing her belly gently. Jack and will suddenly felt bad for not offering assistance and Jack went as far as to say it but she waved him off with a cheery smile.
“All I do is sit around while this baby plays soccer in my stomach. I don’t mind standing up and moving” Y/n reassures and they both nod.
They all tuck into there food Fred asking about her day. Playing little tricks on the children as they eat and Aspen talking a mile a minute without any chance of slowing down, where as Jasper sat quietly only speaking to contradict his sister or ask for more juice. Will had a strange sense of calm wash over him as he sat in the Chiltons dinning room, something he hadn’t felt for a long time and suddenly he was jealous of Frederick for being able to come home to this. While he was spinning inside his own head looking at his plate Will was suddenly drawn out of his reprieve by Aspen shrieking.
“Mommy mommy little baby is doing the weird alien thing” she shouts feigning disgust causing Wills attention to be drawn to Mrs Chilton baby bump. Where he saw the perfect outline of a little hand pressing against her dress.
“Yes it appears they are” Y/n sighs seeming less freaked out then Will, Jasper and Aspen as she simply places her own hand over it pushing the little one back. “I’m sorry sometimes I just don’t notice, this little one likes to make sure everyone knows they are there” she laughs.
“Aspen you scream but you used to do that to your mama too” Chilton teases his daughter who makes a face
“Icky. I never want a baby if they do that” Aspen huffs and Will chuckles looking at her.
“Me either” he says softly and she giggles up at him
“But your a boy. Do can’t carry babies like mamas do” she says and Will pauses for a moment then looks down at her again.
“I suppose you’re right. But still, I wouldn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and just see a little baby hand poking out of my partners belly” he teases a bit making a little hand gesture.
Frederick watched the display and chuckles a bit. He had never seen Will warm up to anyone as fast as he was with his family. Perhaps he would talk to his wife about inviting him around more. It may help with the social anxiety he tended to fall into. Shaking his head he hears Jasper let out a little yawn and look up at him.
“Daddy can I go to bed” he asks softly and Fredrick ruffles his hair “of course bud. Take your dishes to the sink and say goodbye to Mr Crawford and Mr Graham”
Jasper nods taking the dish and coming back to say goodnight getting a hug from his mother and waving awkwardly at his fathers friends before heading upstairs to his room. Fred smiles and looks over at his wife who was looking back at him. He gently stands and takes the dishes with the help of Jack leaving Aspen, Will and Y/n at the table.
“Aspen I believe it’s also your bedtime” the Mother hums to her child and Aspen pouts.
“But I don’t want to go to bed. I want to stay awake” she argues and Y/n smiles shaking her head.
“I’m sorry little one but you and I both know you will be cranky in about ten minutes now. Say goodnight to Mr Graham and head up to bed. Daddy or I will be up shortly to tuck you in” The older woman hums and Aspen let’s out a whine before rising to her little feet.
Will expected the girl to be like her brother and wave goodbye before hugging her parents but she surprises him. The little girl moves to him first wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a small kiss on his cheek. Y/N watched Will look confused and suppress a little giggle as Aspen makes her rounds and toddles off to her bedroom.
After a polite cup of coffee and desert Will and Jack both rise saying goodnight and moving to the door. Y/n stands next too Freddie his hand around her hip as they see the agents off. But not before mentioning to Will that he is more than welcome to stop by and see the kids and the dog at home.
As soon as they are gone Frederick sighs slouching a bit. He looked completely worn out which caused his wife to chuckle a bit.
“Fred why don’t you go get ready for bed. I’ll turn the dishwasher on and be up on a moment”
Frederick let’s put a small sigh nodding and disappearing up stairs while he wife finished cleaning up. Slowly she made her way up the stairs smiling when she hears her husbands voice floating through aspens bedroom door. The younger woman pauses leaning on the doorframe listening to him lull the youngest child to sleep with the tale of Cinderella, a story he often said was ridiculous and promoted women to rely on men to rescue them but…he couldn’t say no to his little princess.
If anyone had told Y/n six years ago that she would be standing listening to the arrogant, rude and often cruel hospital administrator reading a bedtime story she would have laughed in their face. Yet, here she was, heart filled with love an admiration for her husband who was squished into a bright pink canopy bed cuddling a little version of himself.
The woman smiled and left the pair to daddy daughter bonding time to check in on Jasper who was out like a light. Snuggled deep into his bright green sheets his mouth hanging open much like his fathers did. Y/n giggled and kisses his head before turning out the light and heading to her own room. Smiling when she found that for once Fred had followed her orders.
Carefully she picked up the expensive designer suit, moving it to lay out on one of the chairs until she could tend to it in the morning. Then heading off to complete her own night time routine. Coming back out of the en suite bathroom Y/n see her husband laying out on his back only in his boxers, his eyes closed hands folded against his chest. A small giggle leaves her lips as she moves closer to him prompting the man to open his eyes sleepily and smile brightly up at his wife.
"Come here my love" He says softly reaching out for her making little grabbing gestures.
"Alright alright Mi Amour I'm coming" She giggles and slowly climbs into the spot next to him resting her head on his chest.
"Sometimes I wonder how I got so Lucky" He mumbles as his wife traces her hand over the pale scar on his stomach. letting out a little giggle looking up at him.
"Mm maybe I am just mentally unstable" Y/n teases and he pinches her hip with a playful chuckle.
"Hey watch it" He teases "thank you for today"
"It was nothing, to be honest it was nice to have someone other then two toddlers to talk to" She giggles "now lets get some sleep"
The pair snuggle deeper into the covers and relax, Frederick falling into a deep sleep feeling happy and safe with the love of his life.
#raul esparza#Fredrick chilton#fanfic#fluff#lil smut#family shananigans#Au#hannibal#nbc hannibal#Fanfiction#frederick chilton#soft fluffy story#I lied there was no smut im sorry#cute#raul#esparza#will graham#Hannibal lecter#jack crawford#Frederick x reader#chilton x reader#x reader#reader insert#y/n insert
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POSITIVITY DUMP
@longerhuman I’m going to be totally honest, Nine, you’re one of the reasons I decided to reboot my Chuuya blog to begin with. I stumbled on you completely by accident in the recommended tag while in another fandom and as soon as I read your writing I was like ‘holy shit this is so good’ and ‘fuck I miss BSD so god damn much right now’. You’re insanely talented, I love paragraph dumping my thoughts about our boys on you at all hours, and we have more in common than I expected. Shout out to your incredible, well thought out portrayal of Dazai ( and Verlaine! ) and don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for being a ‘slow’ writer okay? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, your replies are worth waiting for! Together we’ll properly spread the big brother Oda / little brother Dazai truther propaganda! Reading replies from your Dazai is always a treat because it feels like reading bonus chapters about his thoughts and feelings Asagiri won’t explicitly give us lol. The way you read and understand his character blows me away constantly and I’m always excited to see you on the dash even when it’s with someone else because I adore your portrayal! I also admire the way you handle your blog and how you know what you are and aren’t okay with. You’ve really helped me in terms of setting boundaries and feeling more confident in enforcing my blog rules for my own mental wellness so thank you for that too. Plus. Relatable ND memes, I love sharing those with you lol.
@mckiingbiird ASPIE! What can I say about you? I’ve probably known you the longest out of anyone on here! Has it really been over 2 years since we first started talking? Time sure does fly. I could rave about you for ages. For starters, you’re one of the first people I’ve met to put as much if not even MORE love into their OCs than they do into their canon muses. You have so much love for your characters and it really shows, they’re so interesting and well rounded, it feels like if you just changed their names and took out the BSD stuff you could write your own novels just about them and their journeys, that’s how good they are. I love them immensely - Lemony and the kids, Harper, Murasaki, Maurice, and now James too. I always have a great time no matter who I’m writing with, and you’ve always been sweet, friendly and caring in all the time I’ve known you, to the point where I easily consider you one of my best friends in the writing community, even if most of our writing and development has occurred on Discord lol. Now with us bringing the Flags into it, I feel like there’s even more adventure to be had with them all. I want to give a special shout-out to you for a fantastic portrayal of a trans ftm character living his best life because we really don’t see enough of them and it’s obvious how much thought, love and research went into him when you first created him.
@nonhumen Oriiiiii! I know we only just met near the beginning of this year but it honestly feels like I’ve known you way longer than that. You’re such a phenomenal writer and I can’t recommend enough that people follow you for a well rounded, amazingly developed portrayal of Dazai and all of his virtues and flaws. For someone relatively new to the franchise you’ve done an incredible job at understanding the nuances of his character. I’ve really enjoyed deep diving into his and Chuuya’s mental health from childhood all the way to adulthood with you and why they are the way they are. Their relationship is SO important to me, and the way we’ve developed them together in our jokingly titled cinematic universe, SKK edition, is an endless source of entertainment and inspiration for me. I love their Kintsugi verse and the handful of spin-off verses we’ve created from them. I have to constantly update their verse info page and even then I feel like I can’t accurate describe all the trials and tribulations they’ve gone through. Maybe one day we can collaborate on an epic fanfic saga about their adventures together LOL.
Honourable mentions are a huge must for a few other people who while I don’t talk to them as much OOC, their portrayals continue to provide me constant joy and entertainment! Chuuya has grown SO much from his interactions with your Dazai and even Verlaine and it means so much to me that he gets his happy ending finally in their AU.
@theircurse Stellaaaa! You and I both know Yumeno doesn’t get nearly as much love and attention as they deserve. If it wasn’t for Mayoi I would feel like the franchise forgot they existed, but YOU HAVEN’T. You’re one of the fandom OGs and while we don’t talk a lot, I have to mention your portrayal of Yumeno and how heartwrenchingly good it is. Some of my characters aren’t even a fan of children but even they feel the urge to wrap little Yumeno up in a very soft blanket and protect them from the world. Perhaps most surprisingly is Ara. Maybe it’s because he high key relates to being mistreated by family or because he thinks their doll and their macabre behaviour is so interesting and similar to his own weirdness, but he kinda wants to pick them up and just carry them around in his pocket. In a good way! He’s still coming to terms with the fact humans aren’t just animals or like… Tamagotchis but larger with more needs, but he’s getting there! Chuuya just straight up wants to adopt them. Please continue giving Yumeno the attention they deserve while we hold out hope Asagiri will one day dust them off again!
@giftandguile Lua! My first impression of you was adoring your portrayal of Chuuya because you have his sassy attitude and whiplash temper down to a T and that’s not easy, I know I struggle with it! I also love seeing how you write Tetcho because it’s always so very entertaining. BUT, most of all I want to mention your Fyodor. I have always had very mixed feelings about Fyodor! I’m still making my way through the manga again and I haven’t had much time to dig into his IRL self’s books, but your writing certainly has made me want to. Where the anime failed to get me interested in his character at all, you succeeded. He’s so interesting! I always get excited seeing your meta posts on Fyo because I end up either shocked by how brilliant it is or agreeing wholeheartedly. You got me so invested in a character I was initially indifferent to and that’s not easy for me, my ADHD brain is big on first impressions. I’m SO excited to see where things go between her and Ara and the chaos they’re going to cause in Japan post resurrection. I think Ara sees something of a kindred spirit in her, that they were both ‘born cursed’ and wound up exiled in a sense for things that weren’t even their fault, and as a result developed a negative view of others of their kind. I’m super pumped to see where that ends up going!
@moonhund AEVIS. This post wouldn’t be complete without a shoutout to Ara’s brawling, drinking, temperamental shapeshifting new bestie Jono, or honorary dad-mentor Fukuzawa. There’s honestly so much to say but! I love the fact that an internationally wanted assassin was able to just show up on Fukuzawa’s doorstep one day with baby teen Chuuya like ‘look I don’t trust you but I need somewhere to leave this kid for a while and I don’t fucking trust Mori, can you give him a home for a while?’ And Fuku just looked at this scared and angry lil ginger and was like ayo kids, you got a baby brother now, no questions asked. He’s such a good dude. Sometimes family is one ex swordsman and his adopted wayward detectives / experiments / former war weapons. Absolute icon. But ALSO! The shenanigans between Jono and Ara are basically the definition of serotonin at this point for me. Half their interactions feel like crack threads but it’s just How They Are. I love the depth you’ve added to Jono’s character and how you can write him as both an asshole but sympathetic in a way that feels genuine, not forced. Highly recommend anybody who needs good HD muse interactions follow you because your writing for him is S tier.
I know I’ve gotten to be a somewhat slow writer these days, at least on Tumblr because formatting can be kind of a bitch on here, but I hope everybody knows I’m thinking of you and I adore my interactions with each and every one of you. Please take care of yourselves and know you’re loved and appreciated and SO TALENTED, because this RPC would be a worse off place if any of you were no longer in it.
Love always, Luna <3
#positivity#{ ooc }#just felt like with winter on the horizon and how common it is to get the blues in colder months this was something I wanted to do#to remind myself I have people on here I adore and that there are reasons to keep writing and smiling even when I get down
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okay sooooo i went to see a psychologist two years ago and she said that i fulfilled the criteria for autism. but then i went to see another psychologist and she said that i wasn’t neurodivergent. it’s kinda confusing but maybe it’s because in the second assessment i was masking my symptoms a lot more because i was a lot more aware of them???because college has been incredibly difficult for me with the disruption in my routine and also i’ve always had an issue with food and sensory issues. my mum thought that i was autistic when i was 15 because of my problems with food. i also have some hyper mobility and when i was younger i saw a speech therapist and i had additional classes for maths because i found it difficult. i also have bad hand eye coordination and find sports difficult.. also idk if this classifies as a special interest or not but when i was 17 i loved gilmore girls.
i watched it once and then during the summertime i watched it four times back to back, also bought all seven seasons on dvd. another thing about me is that this summer i loved stranger things so much that i would spend hours on end analysing it.
do you think that’s similar to anyone else’s experiences on here ??? i’m a little thrown off because of what the second psychologist said😭 but also maybe this is just me but does anyone on here find that people who are loud and bubbly are overwhelming to be around… because they’re always talking and it can be quite overwhelming… and they can just be so bubbly that it’s hard to keep up… they’re so loud that it’s hard to be around them…
i also find the sound of people eating so annoying like the texture and sound is just too much for me also the smells , i find really hard to deal with unless it’s something nice like chocolate or pizza. i just feel like i can get so attached to people really easily and they just aren’t like that and tend to take advantage of me😭😭 but idk if i’m autistic🫠🫠 does anyone find that this relates to them too?obvi you can’t diagnose me, just wondering if anyone relates.
also, i did a couple of tests on here and here are my results.
autism spectrum quotient: 27 out of 50
RAADS-R: 140 out of 227
empathy quotient: 26 out of 80
clinical partners test: 20 out of 30
aspie quiz: 127 of 200
AQ 10: 5 out of 10
AQ: 23
toronto empathy quotient: 60 out of 64
masking test: 131
hey :)
i definitely think your masking in your second appointment contributed to your psychologist saying they don’t believe you’re neurodivergent
as for relatability to what you’re saying, i pretty much relate to all of it:
- i love being friends with bubbly people, but sometimes being around them when i’m already overstimulated makes things excessively difficult
- i hate, hate, HATE the sound of chewing. like once i full-on screamed at my brother just because he was eating, just eating
- smell is a really, really big thing for me personally. it really wasn’t until recently, but it has resulted in me walking around my own home with a mask on (lathered in Aveeno baby lavender lotion)
- i open up to people stupid quickly, ending in hella over-sharing because i just don’t know the correct amount of information to tell someone at a time. people may have used this against me at certain points in time, but i genuinely could have not noticed 😭
- i definitely get your stranger things special interest, because that was me with “avatar: the last airbender” i mean i could not go 40 minutes without talking about that damn show much less thinking about it
#autism#autistic#actually autistic#asd#autism spectrum disorder#autistic things#on the spectrum#autistic problems#autism problems#autism masking#autistic masking#masking
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Niji-iro Midori: The Reluctant Ringmaster
Chapter 1: We Are On a Diplomatic Mission to Absalom
Midori was born in the Minkai Empire into the Niji-iro family, a large clan of kitsune with diverse fur patterns. Chairo, Haiiro, Kuro, and Shiro were her brothers; and Akane, Kiiro, Mizuiro, Murasaki, Orenji, and Pinku were her sisters. Her parents, Tetsu and Sakura, were diplomats, so the family spent most of their lives traveling to far-off lands on business trips.
One such trip was a diplomatic mission to Absalom, the City at the Center of the World, the Jewel of the Inner Sea. The Minkai Empire was in negotiations with Lord Gyr of House Gixx and his Grand Council to smooth over some unpleasant business regarding trade routes and supply ships going missing.
Unfortunately, the unpleasant business was not as straightforward as it seemed on the surface. The Aspis Consortium, the organized crime syndicate masquerading as a legitimate trade empire, was responsible for the piracy. But try as they might, no party could prove to the authorities that those gangsters were guilty.
Until now.
Tetsu and Sakura had brought damning evidence of the Consortium's hand in the matter and were prepared to present their proof to the Grand Council the next day. The diplomats traveled with a small but highly skilled security contingent of swordsmen, shinobi, and sorcerors to protect them against any enemy. Arriving at the Minkan embassy in the Ivy District of Absalom with the Niji-iros, the team cast protective wards around the family's chambers, sent out patrols to keep an eye on the streets, and posted guards at both entrances.
Tetsu and Sakura felt safe. Their children, however, were clearly uncomfortable with all of the hustle and bustle. Their parents put them in windowless living quarters in the basement to help them feel safer and more secure.
That night, Pinku, the youngest daughter, refused to go to sleep. She kept telling her mother that it wasn't safe at the embassy. "The snakes! They're coming to hurt you and Papa! They're gonna burn down the building! They're coming to take me and my brothers and sisters from you!"
But Sakura knew that Pinku had been telling crazy stories about xulgath cults and extinction curses since the family had arrived on the Starstone Isle, so she calmed Pinku down as best as she could and put her to bed.
All of the children eventually slept soundly except for Midori, who got up just before midnight to get a drink of water from the kitchen.
The Aspis Consortium was no stranger to military assassinations. Facing a threat that could potentially dissolve the Consortium at the hands of various world governments, the Patrons would spare no expense to keep the proof of their culpability unexposed. They had arranged specialized strike teams to eliminate the threat to their collective reputation.
Aspis assassins had been tracking the shinobi since they arrived at the embassy. Once the shinobi left on patrol after dark, the Aspis assassins harnessed their superior knowledge of the city streets to hunt down and kill them by quarter to midnight, leaving the Niji-iros none the wiser.
With the patrols eliminated, the other strike teams were free to emerge.
Shadowy figures emerged onto four high rooftops of buildings within sight of the embassy. The four groups of four began their preparations. The druid of each group, part of a sniper duo with his or her corresponding elven eldritch archer, shifted form into a bat and flew toward the embassy. Each bat peered through the windows of the top floor to find the sorcerors tasked with casting and replenishing the defensive wards on the living quarters and entrances below. One by one, the spotters communicated over their telepathic links to their archer counterparts, "target acquired." Meanwhile, the accompanying wizard and priest strengthened each archer with multiple blessings and magical enhancements. The archers nocked their faintly glowing arrows to their rune-studded bows and took careful aim.
The clock tower in the square near the embassy struck 12:00.
The archers' bowstrings twanged faintly in unison. The seeker arrows flew in unnaturally straight lines to the corners of the embassy, turning abruptly at right angles to zig-zag through windows and hallways, navigating the few turns needed to find their marks. The sorcerors died instantly, their hearts pierced by the magical flying shafts. "Target eliminated," the spotters reported to the archers.
12:01.
Aspis wizards emerged from the shadows in the streets surrounding the embassy. Together as one, they cast their magic around the building to dispel the remaining protection wards and any other surprises that the Minkan sorcerors could have left behind.
12:02.
From a nearby toy shop, dolls and stuffed animals jerked into motion as if they were alive; these poppets streamed out of the shop's milk door, started ticking like clocks counting down the time, split into two groups, and scampered toward the groups of wizards near each entrance to the embassy. One wizard in each group started casting a spell, then leaned down and touched the lead poppet of her group, engulfing each group of quietly ticking poppets into complete silence.
12:03.
Another wizard in each group moved away from the poppets and toward the entry doors, casting a spell. A touch to each door broke its locking spell and flung open its physical lock. The wizards ran back to the shadows.
12:04.
The silenced poppets rushed the unlocked entry doors on either side of the embassy and burst through, completely bewildering the guards waiting inside as they could hear nothing. The guards could not react other than screaming noiselessly as the poppets swarmed them, latching on to limbs and heads, then silently exploding as their internal timers expired.
12:05.
A team of heavily muscled and lightly armored brutes in black cloaks gathered by the back entrance to the embassy with two wizards who provided them with silence spells as well. Using hand signals, the lead brute guided the team inside and down the stairs into the basement, leaving the wizards outside.
The team slammed soundlessly through the door of the living quarters where the Niji-iro children were sleeping peacefully and undisturbed, thanks to the absence of noise. They only woke up as they were torn from their beds, screaming without sound. Pinku looked at her siblings and mouthed, "I told you so!" Kuro and Shiro, having gone to bed with their bokkens in their hands for just such a contingency as this, attempted to bash in the skulls of their would-be captors. However, their attacks only made the brutes laugh soundlessly, causing the children to panic even more. The brutes tied up the children's little mouths and limbs and stuffed the ten of them into burlap sacks. Then the team proceeded to ransack the room to ensure that no children had been left behind. Finding no others, the team left the building quietly, where the wizards turned the group invisible to cover their retreat. The Niji-iro children would make fine hostages to use as leverage against the Niji-iro clan to ensure that no more evidence against the Aspis Consortium would find its way to Absalom.
12:10.
A final group of eight wizards moved to the front of the embassy, casting their spells. The eight fireballs that pounded into the third floor charred every person on that level, along with all of the damning paper documents, to ash. Teetering precariously from the fiery explosion, the embassy collapsed into a heap of burnt wood and rubble.
12:11.
The Aspis Consortium teams vacated the area.
A small voice escaped from the partially collapsed kitchen in the basement of the embassy: "Help!"
There was nobody around to hear.
The voice fell silent.
Chapter 2: The Circus Arrives Without Warning
Chapter 3: Hi-Diddle-De-Dee, a Carny's Life for Me
Chapter 4: Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys
Chapter 5: One Does Not Simply Walk Into Abberton (Coming Soon)
Chapter 6: The Circus of Wayward Wonders (Coming Soon)
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Connor’s Autism Cues
Verbal Cues
Turtle: Overwhelmed (most commonly used)
Otter: Wanting a hug/to be held
Shark: Run! (In danger, eg. a predator chasing them, a villain)
Spider: Captured (a way to alert the others if he’s caught by a villain and trying not to rouse suspicion)
Pack: For all the brothers to huddle together after an intense mission
Lion: Needing the whole team, this includes Aviva, Koki and Jimmy Z
Possum: Terrified, near the point of fainting
Cobra: Having to react in self-defense (eg using his suit to attack, shooting)
Bat: Tired during the day
Penguin: Too cold
Thorny (devil): Too hot
Leo, Onca, Panthera, Tigris: A calming mantra when he’s afraid, not “possum” level afraid, but enough to use this mantra
Physical Stims
Hand flapping: Excited
Snapping: Anxious
Scratching: Angry (VERY RARELY happens so if he’s scratching, watch out)
Chewing lip: In deep thought
Pulling his hair: Overwhelmed, usually in conjunction with “Turtle”
Bouncing on feet: General fidgeting, slight ADHD tendencies
*Note: Connor’s suit is built with pressure stimulation in mind, so he may wear it even when not actively adventuring
(Hello everyone! Mun Aspie here (@actualaspie))
Just wanted to add a few things about Connor so that he can be understood moving forward in writing Reprogrammed!
Stimming is a common trait amongst ASD individuals, and while no two people have all the same stims, I incorporated a couple of my own for Connor
This list was created with the purpose of getting to understand his quirks of speech and behavior as he uses them to cope with a very dangerous world, and hopefully you all enjoy learning about ASD along the way!
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Process of "I need more space"
Here is the iffy process of a few screenshots I had saved during this project; I tend to send screenshots to my friend and put them out on my brother's server as I draw something. So I typically pile up huge screenshots over time if I actively go looking for them.
I really wanted to get some calm nice vibes when I was making this, so I listened to a lot of calm music like:
Good Kid - Pox
Pretty Patterns - PROXIMA
Cavetown - Grocery Store
When I usually draw things, I tend to start with smaller little doodles of something. I felt like drawing a few apple blossoms somewhere back in July, that expanded a fair bit.
I have always liked saving a ton of pictures of things I like. Because I liked a flower in the corner, there was a nice ribbon on a gift, a cool street lamp from a weird angle... Since I was a kid I would sort of save things up like this to make collages for inspiration. That day I saw some pictures of some really nice apple blossoms, so I felt like drawing some.
After that I found pictures of astronauts, so of course as followed...
I thought it was so cool how the mirror part of an astronaut helmet looked, but it felt so dull that I wanted to put a face in there somehow to be a little bit visible. So I thought that the shadows from the hand could make a cool effect with the sharp eyes looking through in the center of the image. Sadly though, it took me quite a while to figure out what to do with that as I didn't end up liking it as much as I thought I would.
After a lot of thought, what followed was pretty much:
Apple blossom → Apple tree → Apple tree grows apples → Oh my god I can put apples on the grass → Oh my god he can hold an apple → Oh my god it can still give the cool shadow effect with the eyes.
The line-art
Colouring process that took forever:
This is the part that took the longest: The light effect that I wanted to be done perfectly.
Pink tint to blend the colours better for the process:
After a ton of work: I achieved this kind of light and shadow. Now I only needed to fix the shiny parts of the image! I wanted the petals to absolutely glow. (The apples and grass were a bonus idea afterwards)
I would do a lot of colour re-adjustments underneath the lighting as well as add things into it to make it look better. The way this drawing looks without that light can be a bit confusing colouringwise in that sense.
I had the idea to put the text on the helmet originally, but my brother said it would take away the attention from the face and sort of block it in a way. He was completely right about that; so I put it up in the corner after struggling for a while.
This was a bit of a messy rundown of things, but I spent a lot of days on this and it's a bit hard for me to use words to explain things. I find it easier to just share my screen and explain as I go through the cake of layers.
That is how I ended up finishing my boy, just a little aspie needing some space and quiet to wind down after a long day.
#digital art#oc#art#drawing#art wip#fo poster#poster#anime#space#astronaut#art process#rendering#shading#process#autism#original art#artwork#artists on tumblr#my art#art tag#art style#illustration#illust
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My friend came to my house in highschool. He's autistic. He's also Jewish. My brother, with the knowledge that some autistics identify as Aspies, referred to my friend as such
Was the harm lessened by my brother's ignorance? Was my friend in the wrong for being offended? For speaking up for himself?
Trans women have every right to distaste for this particular term. It was created quite recently by someone who hates trans women, as a means of expressing a facet of that hatred.
Am I wrong for not trusting men who use the term? Am I wrong for speaking against its use? Was OP? I don't think so. And to be perfectly frank, I trust people who justify its use with whataboutisms even less.
Yes, there are perfectly innocent reasons someone would use the terms discussed. There are also perfectly innocent reasons someone might hit me with their car, but I would still be pissed off if it happened. And I would be even more pissed off if someone came up after the fact and said "well, there are nuances that I don't think you've considered."
i fully agree that trans women have the right to dislike and speak out against a word with bad origins that they feel impact & carry over to the word's meaning. i'm not trying to say everyone who has issues with the word should just shut up because it doesn't matter. i think if there were more posts getting spread about the origins of the word and fewer posts dunking on annoying trans dudes who use the word, more people would stop using it in favor of calling it transphobia against trans men/mascs. my argument is that more people should offer the benefit of the doubt when seeing arguments online because not everyone has the same knowledge base as you.
you have to know the thing about hitting someone with your car is absurd though, right? the harmful impact of a possibly misguided person using a word is not comparable to somebody literally hitting you with a car.
and to reference your other ask accusing me of arguing for respectability politics, good lord. it's not respectability politics to say people within the trans community should be nicer to each other and see other people's points of view when discussing trans issues. you're proving my point by reading into my responses with things i did not say or imply. we seem to mostly agree on this topic that the word should be phased out but you're assuming the worst of me because i don't think it's constructive to write off every person who uses the word. last time i checked respectability politics wasn't people in a community showing respect for each other.
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#neurodiversity#neurodivergence#actually autistic#autism#autistic writer#anti aspie supremacy#aspie supremacy#autism acceptance month#autism awareness month
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Children of BFFH, Entry 182
Watching Ben attempt to help Aspy, Crazy, and me cook breakfast was pretty funny, though I did my best not to even smile as he bumbled around, not wanting him to feel bad. Despite his age, Ben had very little experience cooking, which was more of a reminder that life in other homes was very different to mine than anything against Ben. His parents obviously loved him, and he didn’t seem like someone with any obvious instability in his life, being typically happy and self-confident. I couldn’t be way off the mark, having to mentally filter out his apprehension around us, but he seemed happy and confident when he relaxed.
Having seen how people react to my family on countless worlds gave me an edge over many of my friends as far as reading expressions. There were so many different faces between intelligent species that I doubted I’d ever be as capable at reading people as either of my parents, but I did believe myself to be better than average, as in average for all species I had met. If I considered the average in my nuclear family, I was probably at the bottom. Aid’s thermal sense and Fey telepathy were vastly superior to my water sense for reading people, and Four was weirdly good at it, considering he didn’t have any magical abilities to aid him. I suspected that our parents had given Four lessons.
On the first day, Ben’s whole family had been bewildered at how we cook while camping, but they were bewildered by most of our ways, which was perfectly understandable without access to someone who could simply create anything necessary with a thought. If we wanted, Messy would create an entire feast with a thought, but no one would learn anything that way. As things were, Messy created a kitchen area with wood-burning appliances, allowing us to practice controlling the heat with different types of wood provided for fuel.
As I pulled my scones from the oven, Ben was almost finished with the scrambled eggs. Aspy had a nice pile of different toasts buttered, a couple trays of bacon, and sausages that smelled amazing—he had made those sausages by hand with his father two weeks ago specifically for this trip.
I smiled to myself as I remembered his first time butchering an animal. The disgust on his face was priceless, not that I had been any better. In my defense, my first experience came shortly after my draconic grandmother dropped an eight ton vynaroth—a large creature somewhat similar to a buffalo in appearance—right next to me, wanting to see what my siblings and I could do with it. I understood now that a proper chef needed to be adaptable, finding the best ways to utilize new ingredients, but my brothers had dove into butchering the creature with far more gusto than my shocked mind could handle.
Pulling out the cinnamon rolls from a different oven, I found myself wondering how Ben would handle knowing that we regularly practiced butchering animals that had never actually been alive. Auntie Raine created the bodies, already dead. We practiced butchering as part of our cooking lessons to study anatomy, to have a better appreciation for where meat comes from, and to better understand the stages of preparing meat for cooking. Mother had personally taught my brothers and me to track creatures of all sorts, but even she didn’t want us to needlessly kill anything.
After serving food, Messy changed the kitchen area back to natural terrain, and we all gathered around in a big circle to chat and eat. No one commented about Ben’s attempt on scrambled eggs. They weren’t terrible, but he did need to work on making sure everything was cooked evenly. Some of the cheese was clumped up as well, instead of spread throughout. Crazy had given him pointers off and on, but she obviously hadn’t tried to push him to her standards, which was probably for the best.
We spent some time discussing what we were going to do today, but that’s mainly because the quadruplets had been holding out on us. They had been developing their own version of augmented reality suits with haptic features for the better part of two years, wanting a design that’d hold up to use in rough terrain for situations like our camping trips. Father had enchanted the suits to endure those of us who occasionally put more intense strain on clothing, though he sadly didn’t add additional enhancements.
Messy took care of duplicating the designs the quadruplets showed her, so Ben had a full suit as well. The suits looked like a sort of tight-fitting space suit with a bubble helm. After I had finished changing, I turned on the suit and found myself stepping out into a forest that looked like a slightly alien version of the same forest. The bark on the trees looked thicker, with deeper grooves, and now appeared to be a deep shade of blue. Instead of green, the leaves on most of the trees were violet.
A woman started speaking through the helm, going through a sort of health assessment before explaining that the Artemis V spacecraft had crashed, and I was one of the survivors. I found myself smiling as I listened to the survival mission’s explanation. There were going to be numerous types of fauna and flora for us to encounter, which probably meant that we’d have some fighting to do as part of this game.
“My suit’s too tight.” complained Deo, who now looked like an Asian boy with white hair, pink eyes, and pointed ears.
I rolled my eyes when he grinned at me. There were certainly times I envied Deo’s ability to adapt. The control he had over his body was incredible, and he never had to wonder what he’d look like when he grew up. As always, he’d appear as his mood guided him to appear.
As our A.I. assistant suggested, we divided into groups to accomplish different tasks. The quadruplets took turns pointing out features of our displays and explained that we each were assigned a backstory, including an education in various fields. During the explanation, I reached out to a plant, caressing a leaf that I was fairly certain wasn’t real. The haptic feedback was actually really good. Of course, making me feel like I was touching something through a suit was easier than trying to make me believe my skin was touching something it wasn’t, but the movement of the leaf seemed realistic for what I was feeling.
When Ben, who was assigned a security role, started looking over a firearm, I asked him to toss it to me, wanting to see how this would work. Again, I was impressed. There seemed to be a weight to the weapon. Realizing that I actually felt the relatively slight weight clear to my elbows, I took a moment to consider how the quadruplets managed to make the feeling real. Just before I asked, having almost given up, I realized that the suit might actually have technology inside it to move on its own, so weight could be replicated by the suit actually pushing down against my arms.
I tossed the weapon back after briefly looking at the information that popped up when I looked at it. Not being part of security, I got a warning message saying that I wasn’t authorized to use the firearm and that the firearm was locked.
With my thoughts still somewhat on the talk from last night, I was thankful that Ben was assigned to my group. Having security along was, of course, useful, but I was happier about getting more opportunity to observe, just in case Father actually intended for us to learn something from Ben.
Ben, Layla, Maimo, and I were assigned to foraging for food, finding water, and general exploration. As a xenobotanist, I was supposed to verify what plants would be edible. Instead of a weapon, my suit appeared to have some sort of scientific equipment strapped to a belt. We headed South, which was designated by the suit’s display as well as what I knew of the actual terrain.
To our surprise, the pond no longer looked like a pond. The suit was even canceling out the sound of the water. As I looked down into what I knew was water, I was seeing a large gap between two cliffs with land hundreds of feet below. Momma Mila had to have helped the quadruplets with the game software. Of course, that wasn’t unusual. I still felt impressed.
“Looks like finding water is going to be rougher than I thought.” commented Ben, staying over ten feet away from the edge.
“That’s for sure.” I commented, having never struggled to find water before. Still, I found myself smiling. This was going to be entertaining.
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Just finished a romance novel, pretty decent, and actually had explicit sex scenes, and more than one. Most of the books I've read lately they just kiss or fade to black, which is still good, but, you know... Anyway, the main character definitely had OCD, but they never called it that and it fell more into the 'quirky' kind, though it did lead to many problems in her life.
Happy to find an author I enjoy I went ahead and found another one of theirs to read, and... The main character is autistic? Like not just coded, they use the term.
Holy shit I've never read a book with a romance centered around an autistic person. It even addresses how we're not really supposed to use the term 'Asperger's' anymore, but she's identified as an Aspy for so long and doesn't want to let it go.
I just started. I'm sure it's not perfect. She falls into the Genius Autistic trope for sure as she's some kind of brilliant hacker and can recite pi to a thousand digits. But even so she's having trouble understanding people's reactions and stimming to a nursery rhyme and is touch adverse, and that's more than I've seen in any other representation for a desirable POV character. For a romance novel!
#autism#Asperger's#my brother is aspy#the author is Jessica Clare#this book is Jessica Clare and Jen Frederick#afaik neither is on spectrum#book is Last Kiss#the love interest isa Bad Boy bc i am who i am#so earning that he's probably problematic#but based on the last book he's not actually that bad
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Undiagnosed Autism-spectrum disorder in The Michells Vs The Machines
I'm sure that more well educated people have put two and two together in this film but I really, really want to put my own spin on it from my experience. For me, as an aspie, film is one of my biggest interests. I love studying and more than anything I love watching and rewatching films. My latest favorite movie was one that I just watched last night for my family movie night, The Michells Vs The Machines. I also went 17 years of my life asking myself the same question that both Rick and his daughter ask each other, what is wrong with him/her?
Well, I'll tell you, in my firmly undiagnosed autistic opinion for far too long, that this family is full of people with undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder. When I was watching it with my parents my mom made the comment that "the dad was a jerk" and maybe "he just didn't love his daughter enough to let her be her own person." I thought that was so not seeing the bigger picture even though it was only fifteen minutes into the film. I have felt like Katie so much with my own dad. My dad is a computer nerd and a physics major for those of you that don't talk to me very often. That means in laminas terms that he's extremely smart. Way smarter than I will ever be in my entire life. Both of my parents are insanely smart in their own rights. My mom is a CPA accountant. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about here. I want to discuss the effect of undiagnosed autism and what it can do to a whole family when they all have it and just don't know that they do. This will probably go on for quite some time so you may stop here or read below the cut because this also has the probablity of getting super, duper personal.
We'll start with Katie! To me, Katie is one of the most relatable characters that I have ever come across. She's a film nerd, which alone has made her supremely relatable as somebody who is thinking about going into a degree in film studies. I am more of a critic of film than somebody who wants to make her own film but nonetheless, there were SO many little moments that I related to. The first thing that I personally noticed and related to was the stimming technique that Katie has. She chews on her hoodie strings. As somebody who has chewed on the drawstrings of hoodies far too often long before I was officially put into the Aspergers box. Aspies are also known to stick with one "special interest" for the rest of their lives if it's one that is wide enough and varied enough to make it applicable. For Katie, that's film. For me that's animation. I appreciated that little detail of most of her dialogue being references to other films because as a lover of films and movies in general I could go for days on just fumes and movie references that nobody else understands. The little things from her hair being perpetually messy (same that's a whole ass mood like I just learned over quarantine how to tye my own hair back), only having one earring in her ear at all times, the way that she dresses and draws on her own hands, this was just me when I was first in high school. I was one of the few people that wore shorts underneath all my skirts/dresses. Everyone who knew about looked at me like I had grown a third eyeball.
Aaron, the younger brother, also just oozes spectrum lil buddy out of his every pore from his being. I do think that they should have picked somebody capable of doing a bit of a younger sounding voice (I know what they were going for, but like Ben Schwartz has become a huge deal in both voice acting and live action before switching mediums.) His special interest is actually quite a common one, he loves dinosaurs. I've met a bunch of people on the spectrum that are fascinated by dinos and what they meant for the world as well as the universe as a whole. To me, there was one scene specifically that was the scene where Katie was lightly teasing him when they were going to the half assed dinosaur extravaganza. For me, this was SO relatable because both of my parents will mess with me about my interests most of the time it's when we go to Disneyland, they'll tell me that we actually aren't going to land of magic but to Timbuckto (hopefully one day they'll say some place else just to switch things up.) I related so hard to Aaron's protesting and whining in this scene since that is always my reaction to doing something that I want to do but get told that I can't do that thing.
Linda is more of your traditional mom but I think that she's on the spectrum as well. Just a more... normalized version as opposed to her family. She's able to be a teacher, she's able to interact somewhat normally around her neighbors. If anything, she reminded me of my own mom. This independent, takes nobody's trash (especially not her husband's), strong minded, and amazing mother who is completely in control of everything. She knows the special interests of her children and is constantly thinking of what will make them happy. Whether it be taking a detour for something dinosaur related, reminding her daughter that her dad loves her no matter what, and even something as simple as watching something that her daughter made and put her heart and soul into. I can't tell you how many times my mom has watched something with me. She watched my first anime Soul Eater with me when I was 12 and ever since then has been trying to get me to watch other shows with her. She's a lot like Linda, your loving, but firm mother who just wants her family to work things out.
Whew boy. This one is going to be probably where I cry. Comparing my dad to Rick is... something that I did consistently when I was watching the film. He's the strong but silent type usually, unless your me and he's just this constant annoyance when I'm trying to do something. He could be seen as just a "Jerk" but I think that is the undiagnosed aspie talking. Rick and Katie just struggle so hard to see eye to eye because their special interests can't intersect to save their lives. This, this hurt me because so often I struggle to relate to my dad. Especially when he talks to me about computers or physics. Now I took physics but without having been in quarantine and having him as my live in tutor I would have failed, not gotten an A. This has resulted me in saying things that I don't mean in the heat of the moment when we do argue. It doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to back when I was in middle school but when it happened it was because of one thing. I lied. I used to lie a lot because I felt so unworthy of being his daughter because on my best days I am not technically smart. You want to know how many nations of the world there were in 1991 when the original Animaniacs was airing? You want to hear my Dot Warner impression? Did you ever wonder how to recognize a specific voice when your watching anime? Have you ever had to watch a panel of your favorite anime voice actor just to laugh at something? No, well I did. But ever since I have started taking a quarter off from community college I have realized something. I am not technically smart. I struggle at learning the rules for math. My dad can do this with his eyes closed but me, I struggle and look like a complete moron. It took years for my dad and I to see eye to eye. Sometimes I still wonder if I was the product of some laboratory experiment of what would happen if two intelligent people came together, fell in love, and expecting that the daughter was smart I was the reject. Watching this movie with my dad I saw so much of my relationship with him on the screen. Struggling to relate to one another, fighting and getting into arguments about petty things, and not being able to be in the same room as one another without heated words because I didn't get him.
The scene that I related to the most when it was in terms of how much Katie just doesn't understand her dad was after he was nabbed by the machines. When Aaron asked her why she said those things to their dad and her simple answer was "I don't know." This. This right here was when I saw me. So many times I've gotten into heated arguments with my dad when he has simply annoyed me at the wrong time and I've just blown up in his face. Then I regret my actions and not know how to apologize for losing my temper with him because "I don't know" just doesn't seem like a nearly acceptable answer. I felt this in my soul because it happened especially often before I was diagnosed.
When I was diagnosed, things started to get better with my dad and I. We haven't had a fight in nearly four years now. He watches cartoons with me now to try and relate to me, it's mostly Pinky and The Brain but it's more than I could have ever asked for. I love my dad so much, more than anything in the entire world. This movie is so, so good at telling a story about how a family of undiagnosed aspie's and people on the spectrum struggle to relate to one another because their special interests are different.
Special interests and family's are especially difficult and I applaud this movie so loud because of the way that it was able to treat the subject matter with integrity and honesty. I'm sorry if this analysis got a little bit long in the toof but thank you for sticking with me! I really hope that if you watched the film you loved my analysis.
#the mitchells vs the machines#aspergers#movie analysis#denki shut up#nobody cares about your emotional backstory#long post#this took me over an hour because I kept crying
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I Have Your Back
I’ve hit something of a block in my current project, but while I find a way around/through it, here’s a small thing that wrote itself after spending quite a while on @holding-hands-and-hearts ‘s blog.
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Switch. Hel no longer has to say it aloud; she and Fives are close enough now to communicate in thoughts alone. They’ve practised this move a thousand times, and used it in combat perhaps a dozen. He holsters his right-hand blaster, taking her still-blazing lightsabre as she passes it to him. Her slender fingers pluck his pistol from its brief resting-place in the same movement. Five seconds, on a bad day – which, in that sense alone, this isn’t.
Using Hel’s sabre is almost second nature now. Since that first time on Aspis, Fives has spent hours in their unofficial training hall learning the finer points of this kind of combat, using worn-out remotes Hel rescued and their teammate Spark refurbished. They’re even more erratic than newer ones would be, and when he’s hit it stings as badly as it did in the simulators on Kamino. It’s a pretty rough-and-ready way to learn, but it’s worked so far. Now the clankers they’re drawing away from the other half of their unit don’t seem to know what’s happening (do they ever?) as Fives sends their own lasers back at them, while Hel stuns as many as she can, maintaining the two-handed grip and steady aim he taught her even as she ducks and dodges any bolts that go anywhere near her. Or so Fives guesses; he can’t actually see her. Quite literally, they’re covering each other’s backs.
As they have since the Citadel. Fives remembers her exact words on their way home from 79’s, where the remainder of their squad had held a Twi’lek-style mi’sou – a funeral and celebration of a person’s life – for Echo. Nobody can replace him, but just in the operational sense, I’ll take his place. If that’s all right with you.
Somehow, it is. It isn’t the same – Hel is a Jedi, not a clone, let alone Fives’ batch brother – but it’s close enough for government work. That’s one of the many colourful expressions he’s heard Hel use, and that never fail to make him laugh. Her tongue can be as sharp as her heart is gentle, especially when she’s talking about the Senate and the Republic bureaucracy. I’d like to put some of those stuffed shirts through an eightsome reel, wouldn’t I just might be his favourite so far. He always likes it when the mask that her years on Coruscant have made for her slips and the daughter of Alba, the fierce but compassionate warrior, shines through.
As she is now. Fives’ blaster isn’t the only weapon she’s using; her sgian dubh, a small but sharp knife passed down through the generations, darts and weaves through the mass of droids, severing cables and flexes left, right and centre, its blade flashing as it catches the laser-light. Some people call traditional edged weapons dead blades, but there’s nothing dead about this one. It’s an extension of its current user, who’s one of the most alive people Fives knows. Even when playing the role of the obedient Jedi or reserved diplomat, there’s a powerful sense of vitality about her that’s only grown as the war drags on and more of their brothers and sisters fall, as though she’s living for everyone she’s lost as well as herself. Fives loves that about his vod’ika – her determination to live every moment to the full, as well as her quiet defiance, staring down a universe that’s taken from her again and again and asking, is that all you’ve got?
Vod’ika. Dear sister. (Well, technically, little sister, but in one sense she’s older than him.) The term of endearment just slipped out in the aftermath of Aspis, and now it’s how they always think of each other (vod can also mean brother, depending on context). Their five-person squad (four, now) rapidly adopted Mando’a as their standard field language, and Hel took to it like an aiwha to water. She knows as many compliments and insults as Fives does, and her inventive variations on the swearwords are nothing short of impressive. Fives should perhaps have expected that – jetiise are more peace-weavers than fighters, and even Hel favours words over weapons when she can. But words are also her safety valve, a way of dispelling the anger that would otherwise have disastrous consequences.
Speaking of words, a squawk from Hel’s commlink pulls Fives out of his thoughts. Torrent and Spark have made it out of the building with the intel their squad was sent to collect, and Fives and Hel can now safely follow suit. Safely, that is, as long as they have each other’s backs. Which, if either has any say in the matter, they always will.
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Some headcanons and other points to note that didn’t make it into the text:
- The incident referenced is described in my fics Same Heart, Same Blood and The Force Provides (from Fives’ and Hel’s perspectives respectively).
- Naturally, Fives and Hel practise this kind of shenanigan with her sabre in sparring mode; if it doesn’t damage flesh, I assume it doesn’t mark armour either.
- While telekinesis in general is very much not Hel’s strong point, she finds it far easier with the lightsabre she made herself and, to a lesser extent, the knife she inherited from generations of ancestors and ancestresses. They’re extensions of her, not just random objects.
- Hel doesn’t like swearing, but can pack as much feeling into “Bother!” or “What the heck?” as most people put into actual curses. I haven’t yet worked out the Mando’a equivalents.
- I headcanon that while both the Domino twins (and most clones in general) know Mando’a, Echo was more interested in the actual language, while Fives was more interested in compliments, terms of endearment, insults, etc. Mando’a has no shortage of any of those.
Feedback of any kind is always welcome; I’m still experimenting with styles and media, and generally making things up as I go along.
#star wars#the clone wars#fives#arc trooper fives#clone trooper fives#original jedi character#fanfic
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Hi. The following is my attempt to systematically hash out the “Mr. Infodump” controversy in the TS fandom. It’s primarily for my benefit, but I’m posting it on the off chance it helps someone else who’s just as confused/dismayed as I was. I’m not attempting to argue for blind absolution (”Thomas is an angel who can do no wrong!”) or cancellation (“He’s no better than the likes of J.K. Rowling!”), just to present as intellectually honest an assessment as I can make of what happened and the degree to which the TS team is responsible.
Laconic: Thomas Sanders, a content creator on youtube, posted a skit in which a character calls an aspie-coded character “Mr. Infodump”. Several fans have expressed hurt and anger over the use of a trait associated with neurodivergence as an insult.
My own initial impression: I’m on the autism spectrum myself, and personally, “Mr. Infodump” didn’t register as offensive to me; in fact, as a huge Logan kinnie, I liked that a neurodiverse trait I see in myself was being explicitly linked to my favorite character. That said, there are many in the community who feel deeply hurt and betrayed, and it would be a) irresponsible and b) close-minded to handwave their concerns. Thus:
[Abridged version: Bolded]
Context for use of the word:
Line from Roman: “I was going for regal sophistication [in last commercial pitch], but Mr. Infodump over here [*gestures to Logan*] wasn’t cooperating.” Defensive tone, alluding to the fact that Logan’s commercial pitch included excessive product information that would leave buyers disengaged.
History: Roman regularly invents nicknames for fellow sides and employs them in a manner that can range from fond teasing to a juvenile way of insulting the side he’s presently bickering with.
Names previously directed at Logan include “Calculator watch,” “Egghead,” and “No-Funsen Honeydew… Doo.” They generally play off of Logan’s tendency toward being uptight, stereotypically nerdy, and eager to furnish the group with information in the capacity of a teacher.
In this particular instance, I doubt anyone would say the word’s use was “malicious,” but it wasn’t “affectionate” either. Roman is visibly preoccupied and defensive in the scene, throwing out a nickname offhand.
Power Dynamic: There is no imbalance of power between Logan and Roman that would indicate anything resembling a bully-victim relationship. Logan responds to the word in the same manner he does Roman’s other antics and displays no particularly hurt reaction.
In-Universe Response: No character corrects or condemns Roman’s use of the term. This may, however, be because Logan is the first to respond, armed with his own complaints about the others’ commercials.
Meta-Level Implications: The audience is not encouraged to agree with Roman’s sentiment that infodumping is a negative trait anymore than they are his other commentary on Logan via nicknames like “Egghead,” because Logan’s role in the story consistently proves it wrong; all that infodumping saved an unconscious Roman from his murder-happy brother, for one, and the audience knows it. Given the posturing and defensiveness that accompany Roman’s delivery of the line, it’s clear the creators were communicating that he was in the wrong to say it. That, and Logan will almost certainly reinforce this by verbally decimating someone in the next episode, as per usual.
I think that last point is key. People will accuse others of infodumping in a negative way IRL—I know I’ve been called far worse for failing to mask—and to pretend that such things don’t exist in fiction is misrepresenting reality. Instead, creators can and should include minority characters (race, sexuality, gender, neuroatypicality, etc.) *confronting* discrimination, dealing with it complexly, and showing both the misguided character and the audience how wrong they are. Logan resonates with me—and other aspies, I think—largely because of how he clearly struggles in dealing with the other sides’ occasional criticism of his eccentricities, but he ultimately remains committed to his identity and ideals. If the TS crew continues to write a show that reinforces the fact that his neurodivergent qualities are what make him strong—and god knows there's not much media that does this well—, they’re doing something incredibly important for us.
The issue here, then, wasn’t the show promoting ableism as a message, because its handling of the conversation here doesn’t. Rather, it was the use of a term that many consider inherently ableist as an insult. So:
“Infodump” the word:
I find this fascinating, actually—Science is discovered. Math is discovered**. Language? Language is unequivocally invented. We’ve create these words with combinations of mouth-sounds, and we’ve assigned them meaning.
But the thing is, people have different backgrounds and experiences that define both who they are and the nuances of the meaning they tie to those mouth-sounds
Basic example of varied mental prototypes: I live in the northeast USA, so when I hear the word “bird,” the first thing that pops into my head is a bluejay or robin. If you ask my friend who’s studying in Brazil, though, he’d likely think of a macaw or toucan.
For me, “spring” = my mom’s pink zinnia garden and “chocolate” = a square of hershey melting against gooey marshmallow. This idea of memories and experience informing word-meaning mapping, of course, extends to a) more nuanced concepts and b) a more subconscious level of understanding. Poetry in particular, I think, tends to play with this to invoke the sensory experiences it does... I could infodump about translated poetry but that’s a whoooollleee other thing and I’m getting off track.
But essentially, an individual’s experience of any given word, to a degree, is subjective. Our dictionary definitions are merely approximations of a collective understanding of that mouthsound-to-meaning mapping, and we have to update those definitions as language evolves (remember when “Google” couldn’t be used as a verb?)
So, what happens if I look up “infodumping”? TVTropes tells me it’s a “type of exposition that’s particularly long and wordy”. UrbanDictionary says its “used to deposit large amounts (usually entire articles) of information in online forums without summarizing or paraphrasing the information.” I reach the resources that explain it in the context of autism and ADHD over halfway down the Google results. The word “infodumping” has quite a few circulating meanings, and the one associated with neurodivergence isn’t as visible as we’d like it to be.
From what I understand, Thomas Sanders and co. merely knew “infodumping” as the practice of talking at length about a subject, like closing a rant with a friendly “aw, sorry for infodumping on ya” and such. This was exactly how Logan opens his commercial, so they stuck it in as a—frankly, kinda feeble—nickname á la the creative genius behind “Mr. Smarty... Pants”. They had no knowledge of the term’s gravity to the autism and ADHD community, because they haven’t been exposed to settings that use that definition.
So, where does that leave us on accountability? If they’re ultimately not producing ableist content, do Thomas Sanders and his team have the responsibility to be aware of how an insult featuring this particular word might be inherently triggering to a community?
Many accounts show that the inclusion of the term caused real emotional harm and as content creators—particularly ones with a relatively young fanbase—the TS team should have taken more precautions. A more diverse staff/writing room may have caught this, given how egregious some fanders found the error. Furthermore, why shouldn’t it fall on neurotypical people in general to “educate themselves” on these issues, as in the cases of other minority groups?
That said, however, can any creative team be reasonably expected to know of any-and-all potentially triggering content? I’ve avoided speaking of Thomas Sanders’ personal character to maintain some impartiality, but a long history of promoting representation and careful content warnings does suggest a genuine commitment to self-correcting. Accepting the well-intentioned criticism of fanders—many of whom are so broken up by this precisely because of the amount of faith they place in the TS team—and taking active steps to change is ultimately the best course of action, and I, for one, will be sticking around to see the results.
#sanders sides#logan sanders#neurodiverse character#infodumping about infodumping#wow ive really peaked huh#ts logan#ts critical#ts criticism#ts discourse#sanders sides discourse
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Sunstreaker: A Controversial Theory
So, warning, this might be a bit controversial.
I think Sunstreaker might have Asperger’s Syndrome.
And this is not a happy fan theory, more of what might happen if you forced an Aspie to survive the Hunger Games, they did, and told them to live a normal life and the issues that might arise.
Asperger’s is a flavor of autism and often goes undiagnosed because it is quite high functioning. And sometimes autistic people can react violently to escape stressful situations. Social situations requiring judgement calls based on non-verbal cues can often be stressful.
Let’s look at Sunstreaker. He has three rules in life that he sticks to: 1) stay alive, 2) keep Sideswipe safe and 3) kill anything that is a threat. These three rules have worked pretty well for him; he and his twin have survived the streets, gladiatorial ring, and war.
Except Sunstreaker has the nasty habit of attacking his fellow Autobots.
His officers and comrades assume it’s because he’s a vain jerk. But here is another explanation: he feels threatened.
Let’s say Sunstreaker is back on the streets. Someone grouses at him about his behavior. Maybe they are just complaining for the sake of complaining or maybe they really are mad at him. As an aspie (person with Asperger’s) that line isn’t clear. I know as an Aspie I often misinterpret my mom telling me something needs to be done for her verbally attacking and scolding me. And for our dear Sunny, it is always safer to assume someone is about to attack you. But if he attacks first and beats the scrap out of the mech, that mech and anyone watching will know better than to mess with him or his twin. And while Sunstreaker’s CPU is not great for picking up the body language of normal life, it’s great at picking up the cues of combat. (Because how people fight generally follow sets of rules. Your arm tenses before you punch, etc. But not all arm tense mean a punch, which causes problems.)
This line of thinking works well for surviving in harsh environments. But imagine the mech grousing was just Gears being Gears. Sunstreaker knows better than to attack in front of the others (Sunny will get beat up by the others as they pull him off), so he goes after him in private. In his mind he is defending his brother. But to everybody else, he’s being violent. He gets thrown in the brig and no one believes him when he says it was self defense.
Except for Sideswipe, who is neurotypical, but has the benefit of a mental link with his brother so he can understand what Sunny is thinking.
Sunstreaker needs his alone time, even telling Sideswipe to go away. He hates getting his pain scratched because he has sensory issues and feels awful, makes him even more twitchy than normal until it is resolved. Buffing himself is self soothing. His special topic is his art and his laser focus and attention to detail keeps him alive in battle.
Sunstreaker is like that kid who instead of curling up when he’s bullied lashes out. Except he has a hard time telling when someone isn’t bullying him because almost everyone has. No one ever taught him how to articulate his needs and explain how he perceives the world. So he lashes out.
It’s not an excuse for his behavior. It’s an explanation. One his commanders could use to get him the help he needs to survive off the battlefield.
#autism#asperger's syndrome#bitter truth#controversial fan theory#controversial#sunstreaker#transformers#not happy#actually aspie#aspie#aspie problems#autistic character#maccadam
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I'm sorry but in the fighting game Daiya going full ORAORAORA on that little kid while his little brother smacks him with a street sign is so funny. Also why do the main characters have a weird spanking fixation??
no clue, but my aspie ass just goes "nice vocal stim bro" rheje
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Children of BFFH, Entry 175
I followed the other kids after our camp was fully set up and lunch was eaten, ready for a swim. Benjamin was following us, though he looked hesitant despite being the oldest of us. Four was the one who had convinced him to tag along, so I wasn’t too surprised that he seemed a little confused as he listened to Four talk about the area.
Smiling as I caught sight of the small waterfall pouring into a large pond, I found myself agreeing again to what Luce had said about the area being idyllic. Three converging streams poured into the tiered waterfall, and there were two streams flowing out of the pond. I occasionally saw fish in the surprisingly clear water.
“We’re swimming in there?” questioned Benjamin, looking at Four as if he was nuts.
“The fish won’t bother us.” replied Four, who actually looked surprised for once.
“But what about weird bacteria or parasites?” asked Benjamin, still looking more than a little hesitant.
Aspy, Stormcrow, Crazy, and Damien jumped in, completely ignoring the surprisingly timid werewolf.
Walking up to her brother and Benjamin, Luce asked “Would this make you feel better?” Behind her, streams of water shot out from the waterfall, creating numerous floating spheres over the pond. Some of the spheres were a couple dozen feet up, and the rest flowed down from the highest. As the spheres grew larger and larger, I noticed that they were amazingly clear, even clearer than the pond. “I promise that they’re sanitized and everything.”
Benjamin’s jaw was busy working and closed as he stared, but I thought the floating water looked cool. If Luce said the water was sanitized, I wasn’t going to doubt her. The more I learned about magic over the past few months, the more I was certain that my friends were utterly amazing at it. Each of them seemed to know countless spells, some of which were very complicated, and they cast the spells with seemingly no effort.
After walking over and poking a sphere of water, Benjamin said, “That’s amazing, but how would this help?”
Luce demonstrated by jumping over ten feet up into one of her spheres and spinning up to the top where she floated in the water through the air.
“Just don’t swim through the bottom without aiming for another one or the pond, though I can’t imagine a werewolf would have trouble landing well.” encouraged Four with a smile before jumping into one of the spheres himself.
Feeling a desperate need to try this as well, I picked one of the lower spheres and walked into it, instantly feeling the water pulling me upward. The cool water felt great in the summer heat, and the novelty of floating was fantastic. Luce made the spheres move in slow, concentric circles over the pond. After Aid showed off by jumping to the highest circle before diving through the lower ones and into the pond, Benjamin braved one himself, looking startled, but smiling after he grew used to the experience.
I felt like my heart was going to stop when I slipped from one of the lowest spheres into a higher one, diving up through its bottom, but the suction of the higher sphere made the movement easy. On one hand, I knew that controlling water was Luce’s natural magic, but her control was incredible. I had fought her and knew that she could control an amazing amount at once, but she made what she was doing look so easy.
After braving a few higher spheres, I floated, admiring the view, for a while. Just yesterday, we had that grand battle, which felt a little one-sided after our half of the quadruplets took out Aid. Now I was in a beautiful forest, relaxing in the air, for the most extraordinary “summer camp” I had heard of. My parents trusted James enough that convincing them to let me come had been very easy, and I was so very thankful.
“Let’s dive!” exclaimed Crazy just as she pulled me out of the sphere to plummet toward the pond.
I wasn’t even sure how I managed to orient myself before splashing into the pond, but I emerged successfully, staring up and laughing. Others joined in, and things quickly turned into a diving competition with everyone throwing out random numbers for how well we each did after a dive. To “keep things interesting” Luce eventually reoriented the spheres into different patterns, with the objective being to dive through as many as possible before reaching the pond. I could tell she was taking things easier on some of us than others, but I didn’t mind. I managed to score higher than a werewolf, and that had to count for something!
All too soon, Messy, Deo, and Aspy were called away for dinner duty. I knew the other kids had grown up being trained by a chef, but knowing that they were cooking still seemed so odd to me. Well, Messy was easy to imagine cooking. She could easily be passed off as a princess, and imagining her doing anything incorrectly was far more difficult than picturing her cooking perfectly.
“What’s going on?” asked Benjamin as the three on duty left.
“They’re going to prepare dinner.” stated Luce with a shrug as she spun in her own little whirlpool.
I smiled and did my best not to laugh, knowing how my friends here didn’t really understand that they weren’t anywhere close to normal. “Benjamin, just go with the flow.” I told him. “I’ve only been hanging out with most of them for a few months now, and I still get surprised regularly.”
“You don’t live with the rest then?” he asked in surprise.
I shook my head.
“Me neither!” exclaimed Rona, hugging my cousin and nearly dunking him. “I was a friend of Stormcrow’s before I met the rest, and Layla is Stormcrow’s cousin.”
Benjamin then had to ask “Why is he called ‘Stormcrow’?”
“I’m a wereraven, not a werecrow, but I can control electricity.” replied Stormcrow as he made sparks jump between his fingers, which caused Benjamin to swim backward in surprise. “Aspy’s the one who came up with my nickname after watching Lord of the Rings.”
“I’m called Four, because I am the fourth James Michael Somerset in my family. Messy received her nickname because her initials spell MESS. Doc’s initials are DOC. Crazy earned her nickname by doing things that make sane people shudder. Aspen is called Asp or Aspy for obvious reasons. My brother Aiden goes by Aid. Luce goes by her middle name, since our mother shares the same name. Then Deo switches sex as often as clothes, so we call him/her Deo or Dea depending on what we believe his or her current sex is. Oh, and just take a guess with the quadruplets. I can’t tell them apart either.” explained Four for Benjamin.
“I… see, I think.” stated Benjamin with little certainty. “You can just call me Ben.”
I nearly snickered, being far more comfortable with the nicknames than the real names of my friends. I honestly couldn’t remember some of their real names right off. The idea that a werewolf was struggling as much as I had really tickled me. This was going to be an awesome week!
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