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#mutuals feel free to reach out whenever :)
bluesolarflare · 4 months
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Update on Things!
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Hey yall, Sunny here!
I have been running the Bluesolarflare account for close to four years now! Surprisingly, I have been pretty consistent posting art, almost once a month (even when I didnt have access to my tablet)! For those who know me, they'll know how hard it is for me to even bring myself to post art, so I am very proud of all the work I have done and how much I had improved!
THAT BEING SAID: I am kinda burnt out on MCYT content :,). I'm finding it hard to keep drawing and kinda want to focus on my personal art (I am a year away from graduating from college :0 ). So consider this my formal hiatus announcement. I do not know how long I will be away, or if I will even return. But sincerely, THANK YOU ALL!! I read all the nice key smashes and character analysis under my art. I would not be the artist I am without y'all! I am forever grateful for all the mutuals and friends I have made throughout my time here. I will not be completely abandoning ship, worry not. I plan to continue using my account to view artist and support where I can! I just will not be making content.
I hope you all understand and thank you for everything !
TLDR: I am going on an indefinite Hiatus, thank you guys for everything :D
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feengoid · 9 months
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do you perhaps have any other socials I can follow you at?
not really, or at least not now. ive become very disinterested in a lot of other social medias (twitter used to be my main, even, i think thats what most people used to remember me from before i deleted my account off of it), so this is my current only/main account.
the only other "social medias" i have are my MSPFA for my comics, my Youtube channel for flashes and whenever i decide to do animations (currently pretty barren), and my Artfight and Toyhouse, that i use very very rarely.
there are a few others here and there, alongside my discord, but id rather keep those private unless we're close, of which then you can just pm me about
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gavisimmaculaterizz · 1 month
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Hi I was wanted to request one with Jude where you and Jude are cuddling asleep on the couch but Jude forgot he invited his friends over and they make fun of Jude for being a simp
— loverboy / jude bellingham.
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summary: jude can be a simp when it comes to you, as his friends say.
warnings: none, just fluff
masterlist
as the sun began its descent toward the horizon, it filtered through your blinds, casting luminous shades of princeton orange and sunflower yellow across the room.
you had spent most of your day with your boyfriend, jude, chatting and tidying up your lovely apartment in the heart of madrid.
the evening was warm and comfortable, creating a quiet and cozy ambiance. you lit some candles and settled into the comfort of your couch.
with your feet propped up on the coffee table, you reveled in the comfort of your surroundings as you immersed yourself in the pages of your book, waiting for jude, who was washing the dishes.
so entranced by your book, you didn't notice jude had finished with the dishes until he announced his presence.
"baby, I finished with the dishes," your boyfriend said.
startled by his voice, you quickly closed your book and looked up into his chocolate eyes.
"you scared me, for god's sake!" you exclaimed, laughing nervously.
he chuckled, looking at your startled expression, and took the opportunity to sit down on the couch beside you.
"come here, baby, I'm sorry for scaring you," he said, breaking into a fit of giggles.
you swiftly moved, positioning yourself on jude's lap. although annoyed he interrupted your reading, you found you couldn't really be mad at him while wrapped in his arms.
"what do you want to do today?" he asked, giving you a peck on the cheek.
"let's just relax, jj," you said, yawning. all that cleaning had left you exhausted to do something fun.
you snuggled into his shoulder, finding peace and comfort. as you started to drift off, a noise reverberated through the house.
ring
it was the sound of your doorbell…
"who was supposed to come today?" you wondered internally. you couldn't remember inviting anyone over, and you assumed jude hadn't either.
unbeknownst to you, he had invited his friend and girlfriend over.
"i'll get it, baby. you stay here," jude said calmly.
you nodded, anticipating the visitor at the door.
jude walked over and, upon reaching the door, peeked through the peephole.
"It's rodrygo and his girlfriend," he whisper-yelled. you adored rodrygo and his girlfriend, yet their presence was puzzling.
he opened the door and was greeted by the brazilian couple.
"good evening, jude," said rodrygo and his girlfriend luana. he welcomed them and invited them inside.
"Y/N!" exclaimed luana, upon seeing you on the couch. she adored you, and the feeling was mutual. she was your favorite WAG, and you always spent time with her whenever you both were free.
"luana, it's great to see you, babe! come and sit down with me," you said as she approached, and gave her the biggest hug.
jude and rodrygo entered the room after, observing the two of you chatting.
"hello, y/n," rodrygo said with a smile. you returned his greeting and offered them both something to drink.
luana sat close to rodrygo while jude came over to your side, promptly draping an arm over your shoulder.
he started kissing your neck, seemingly oblivious to the visitors around.
"jude, stop it! there are people here," you exclaimed, laughing nervously. he always had a knack for making you feel nervous in the presence of others. he tends to become cocky in the presence of his friends, which can be frustrating as he sometimes gets too carried away.
"yeah jude, we don't want to see you eating your girlfriend's neck, you simp" rodrygo said, laughing.
you began to feel embarrassed immediately, but jude, on the other hand, didn't care at all because he was entranced by you.
once he got out of trance, he noticed your flushed face, and began to laugh.
"we just saw you make out with your girlfriends neck" rodrygo said laughing. soon after rodrygo, luana began to laugh with him.
"can't i show affection to my girlfriend?" jude asked, adopting a pleading puppy face expression.
"you behave irrationally around her; it's like you're completely infatuated," came the reply.
he complained in a childlike manner after being called a simp.
but he didnt care if he was called a simp for you..
a/n: im sorry i delayed this so much i was so stressed abt my english presentation🥹! if its shit im so sorry i was super stressed and i wanted to get something out 🫶🏻
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jjkeverlast · 1 year
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accidental roommates | jjk (m)
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✦ pairing dilf!jk x fem!reader
✦ genre/au's dilf!au, roommate!au, roommates to lovers, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, crack & teeny tiny sentimental angst
✦ summary moving apartments is stressful and difficult enough as it is. all the planning and packing and multiple moments of rearranging furniture; all you crave is peace.
yet it seemed like peace was far within reach as the owner of the apartment had left out one tiny crucial detail from the ad — a ripped tattooed adonis, coupled, with a tiny baby daughter will come as your roommate.
✦ word count 14.7k 🌚
✦ warnings second hand embarrassment | jungkook's abs | annoying antics | suppressed feelings | both of them are stubborn and petty (it's gets tiring lmfao) | mentions of past relationships | a lot of time stamps | sexual tension | ft. namjoon 👀 | !constant change of perspective between reader and jungkook
✦ sexual warnings fingering | oral (f. receiving) | semi-hand job? | grinding | riding | biting (like once) | teasing | protected sex!
✦ author's note oh my god.... can you believe i actually finished this shit? lmao no me neither. i have to thank my amazing co-writer's for this collab @kooktrash & @jeonjcngkook for being extremely helpful when i've been stuck with some scenes! along with my favorite person and hyung @gimmethatagustd who was there whenever i needed to plan some scenes and for reading out my entire outline. also, big thanks to my beta @pjiminbloomx who took her time in listening me rant about this for over a month. i love you jyad. <3333 and just overall every single one of you who have encouraged me about this. i can't believe it got this long BUT hey! it didn't get above 15k which was my maximum for this fic. enjoy this super cracky and long stupid fic with these two idiots. <3
this fic is a part of illicit desires collab! go read the other stories if you're hungry for more dilf jungkook ;)
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For the first time since a week ago, you’re finally able to breathe for once. The sigh you let out is comforting and freeing. The awful ruckus of moving has caused you to roam on the streets with a lack of sleep, eye bags that can be caught from miles away and a groggy voice not daring to disappear from your vocals. A mess really. You know it, your ex-roommate Ash knows it too and even though she and her partner are at fault here, it was bound to happen. 
You see, Ash had met Lucca through a mutual friend, the mutual friend being you and you were surprised at how well they complimented each other. The night they met was filled with nervous glances and flushed red cheeks due to the excitement. They both deserved each other. So, when they finally announced their relationship with you, you were more than thrilled. Although, after a year of them dating they had come to the conclusion of moving in together, which was a big step for their relationship and a step back for you, due to you ending back to square one and having to find an apartment yourself.  
The image of Ash’s expression when she kindly asked you to move within the next month was imprinted in your mind. She didn’t want to kick you out this way, but it was an important and big step into her relationship with Lucca, and the decision needed to be made regardless. You didn’t really have a say in this. Firstly, the apartment was Ash’s and in the end, it is her decision on whom she wants to share it with. 
It took you a week. A whole week to find the perfect place for you. The pictures sold the place nicely, the living room looking spacious and decorated firmly with stable furniture and you being desperate to find anything you called the owner. The conversation went great. He was very quick on letting you get the apartment, sending you a confirmation email the day after you had agreed to the deposit. You were doing it, and it felt great. 
Although, your lack of sleep had been caused by the last-minute packing, having to clear out your room as quickly as possible. It was mostly because of Lucca themselves, having to move out of their sister’s loft, so the timing was indeed tight. But hey, everything turned out well even though you look like a Yeti who hasn’t been able to find a place to rest. It’s fine really, now you’ll be able to at least lie down before unpacking everything. 
With a trembling hand, you manage to push the code in, the door opens and you’re just about to step in when you look up and find a shirtless man in your apartment. You don’t say anything, the both of you staring each other down for a quick second before you manage to close the door, convincing yourself you’re hallucinating. 
It’s a thing, Ash told you countless times whenever you managed to withhold an all-nighter in your shared place. First, there’s being overtired where every ounce of energy left bounces like a little child on a trampoline, then there’s the lack of sleep eating you alive although your eyes fail you to shut, being used to staying open, which creates the last step: hallucinations. 
Maybe it’s the lack of sex which made you paint a beautifully sculpted man with tattoos only in a towel in front of you. You’re praising your brain for creating such a lively picture that causes you to grin and shake your head before you decide to re-enter. 
He’s there again. Your horny hallucination. 
The hallucination takes a turn when he screams into your face. ‘’What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!’’ It’s then that you snap yourself back to reality, realizing this indeed is a real person and you’ve managed to scare the shit out of them. The only thing you find yourself doing is screaming back, which turns into violent screaming in unison and by now half of the neighborhood is probably writing a complaint to this very apartment. 
‘’What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!’’ You find the courage to finally scream back and the man in front of your eyes squints in discomfort, shaking his head as he swallows your words. 
‘’Y-your apartment?’’ 
You fold your arms, scoffing as your head turns towards the open kitchen. ‘’Yes. Mine.’’ 
He begins to laugh, his abs tensing along with the rhythm and you hate yourself for growing hot over his upper body. 
‘’You’re funny.’’ He points at you and to prove yourself to him, you look for the confirmation email that proves you have the right to own this place. 
‘’Here.’’ He steps closer, the scent of his shampoo infiltrating your nostrils and you notice a form of sweet yet musky scent. While you’re too busy trying to ignore the scent, the man in front of you has his full attention on your screen. He smacks his lips, his composure straightening along. ‘’There has to be some sort of mistake.’’ 
You hum in agreement. How wrong could this possibly go? The only solution that comes to mind like a wave, is to call the owner. You hold a finger up, pausing for whatever word is about to come out from the stranger in front of you while it starts to dial. It quickly gets interrupted, by a voice telling you the number doesn’t exist. You refuse to believe it, so you continue to call three to four times while the man crosses his arms, sighing out loud. It’s at that moment you notice the detailed and colored tattoos covering his arm in a sleeve. 
“He’s… he’s not picking up.” The defeat drags itself at your feet. The proof you once had to own this apartment is gone, except the confirmation email but then again there must’ve been some mistake — a big one to say the least. 
“Do you honestly believe that?” His tone indicates he’s irritated and the water droplets on his skin have almost dried out — the fact that you notice scares you more than the situation you’re currently met with. 
“I mean, clearly, you’ve been scammed.” The words swallow you whole, your composure losing against you and your head drops with your heart. Of course, it was too good to be true, because again since when have you ever been lucky when you’re on your own? 
“Fuck.” 
It seems as if you’ve lost, but you’re not willing to give up just yet. You spent all of your savings on the deposit and the last thing you’ll do is ask your strict parents for money, which isn’t only super hard but exasperating as well. 
‘’Well now that this whole problem is settled, get out.’’ The tone is harsh and you flinch, tears threatening to spill as you slowly walk to the entrance. 
‘’Wait—’’ You hold your hands up, your feet freezing down on the tiled floor and the stranger’s expression turns into pure disgust yet confusion. You aren’t really sure, your mind is basically clouded reasons being your lack of sleep. Which currently isn’t helping the situation you’re currently standing in. If only you could snatch it like Margot Robbie snatches bags and watches in ‘Focus’. This reminds you, you should probably watch it again, it was really good and—
‘’Hello?!’’ The sound catches you off guard, your eyes roaming back onto the half-naked stranger whose name still stays unknown. 
‘’Just. Please.’’ You’re fucking tired and this was the last thing that needed to be added onto your plate yet you’re still standing, except you’re hopeless and homeless. 
‘’Please?! Get. Out.’’ 
You drop down to your knees, your tears falling freely and you plead. 
‘’I have nowhere to go. My old roommate is finally starting a new life with her partner, my parents are fucking strict and are the last I’m calling for help. I’m basically fucking homeless and I just wanted to lay down in my apartment after moving out last minute and sleep.’’ You’re rambling all kinds of nonsense, throwing a whole scene in front of a guy who’s stepped out of the shower. You feel bad but you’re lost. You have nowhere to go. 
‘’Seriously, I’m fucked. Help me out, just— just for six months and I’ll be out of your sight.’’ Your voice cracks, every limb that has managed to withhold your posture, collapsing all together into one. You’re done. 
A deep sigh catches your attention, your glossy eyes looking up to see a semi-smile resting on the guy’s face. ‘’Six months.’’ He repeats as he traces his fingers on the patterned ink, decorating his arm. 
‘’Fine. Just don’t make me regret this. I’m Jungkook by the way.’’ Finally, you discover the name of the pretty stranger. 
‘’Thank you. Thank you so much.’’ You’re holding yourself back from hugging him, mostly because of his naked chest and the last thing you need is to feel warm skin on your own. Instead, you introduce yourself and he smiles awkwardly making you reconsider your awful ruckus from before. You basically admitted how fucked your life is at the moment, bringing along the strict parents into the mix and we all know, this won’t end well. 
A sudden cry snatches every ounce of your attention, coming from one of the rooms. Has someone been here all this time? 
‘’Shit. I think we might’ve woken her up.’’ Her. Great, you’re gonna live with a clingy couple, after having no mercy in showing you were checking him out — multiple times. This is going to be absolute hell. 
All while you’re imagining the messy and mostly awkward encounters you’re going to face while living with a couple, you don’t notice Jungkook walking back out accompanied by a certain someone. 
‘’A baby?!’’ Great. Not only are you going to live with a couple, but their newborn baby too. 
‘’You sound… surprised.’’ He decides to sit down, the baby’s head resting on his bare and tatted shoulder, doe-eyed and mouth agape. 
‘’Where’s… where’s your girlfriend?’’ Shit. Are you even listening to yourself? You met this guy not even an hour ago and you’re already invading his private life with intense questions. 
‘’Don’t have one. It’s just me and So-ah here.’’ He taps her back, a few burps escaping her as you stay quiet. 
The scenery in front of you causes a faint smile to appear on the brim of your lips. If you weren’t determined to own the apartment yourself, you’d let every ounce of you swoon over how careful Jungkook is with his daughter. 
Jungkook takes a hold of her, changing positions as she faces him, her eyes as big as his. It’s crazy how alike they look. 
Your heart melts into a thick puddle when Jungkook rubs his nose against So-ah’s, a soft giggle sounding like a lullaby escaping her right after. 
‘’Oh my god.’’ Jungkook’s mouth drops and before confusion seeps through you he continues. ‘’So-ah you just laughed for the first time.’’ Fuck. You’re so screwed. 
‘’She’s adorable.’’ You smile fondly, Jungkook breaking eye contact with his daughter at your comment. 
His eyebrows frown, clearing his throat as he shifts in his seat. ‘’Thanks.’’ 
Okay, there were exactly two things that fumed you over his flat-toned answer. One was that he was still a complete stranger and you’ve always felt somewhat threatened and uncomfortable when people you didn’t know made or said anything that clicked an icky feeling at the pit of your stomach, which quickly turns to irritation. Because here you are being fucking nice and you get this in return? What a fucking asshole. Second, it’s probably an ego thing, thinking he’s hot enough to get away with being quite literally rude. If it weren’t for his sudden act of rudeness towards your very tired Yeti-looking state you might actually grow fond of him, but that is all forgotten now. 
You’re getting that fucking apartment. 
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Working as a kindergarten teacher meant a lot of things. Patience, energy, and consistency. For you to reach there before showing up at work, you’ll need to fuel your body with a smoothie. 
The clock hasn’t even turned six when you push the mixer’s button, a loud noise erupts in the quiet apartment. Did you do this on purpose knowing Jungkook isn’t starting work yet? Maybe. Did he notice, is fucking angry and walking up to you at this moment? Very much so. 
‘’Seriously? What the fuck?!’’ The shouting from your roommate pleases your early morning state and you force an annoying smile as you greet him with a cheerful good morning.  
‘’It’s for work!’’ You push the button for a little longer, his eyes rolling back when So-ah starts crying in the room next to you. The daughter does make you feel an ounce of regret but that’s mostly because you love babies and she’s made a good impression on you already. 
Jungkook groans in frustration, his grumpy state returning back to his daughter to soothe her while you hurriedly get to work. Your colleague is probably already there, having a different schedule than you. 
Traffic isn’t terrible and you’ve caught onto the lost sleep that vanished during your moving week. As you reach work, Taehyung waves excitedly to you from the entrance, while holding a cup of coffee. 
‘’You look awfully happy.’’ Taehyung remarks when you walk past him and inside, re-adjusting a few things before parents begin to arrive with their sunshine of kids. 
‘’I am.’’ Your mood definitely has something to do with nailing to piss Jungkook off early in the morning. That’s what he gets for being a complete ass after you’ve embarrassed yourself multiple times and just trying to be kind. 
‘’Care to tell me?’’ Taehyung moves his eyebrows, suggesting you got lucky and you quickly shut down the idea, shaking your head no along with you explaining it was an early win for you. 
‘’I basically pissed off my roommate this morning. He’s an asshole so he deserved it.’’ You shrug your shoulders, Taehyung following behind you as you both make the place ready, the clock ticking loudly behind you. 
‘’Roommate? I thought you had the place all to yourself?’’ Taehyung hadn’t gotten any updates from you since your stressful week, so it made sense for him to be completely lost when you mention Jungkook in the context of your cheerful mood this morning. 
‘’I got scammed. But I’m not surprised. I’ve carried bad luck all my life and I blame it on my strict parents.’’ You joke, Taehyung chuckling nervously unsure rather you’re completely kidding or deadly serious. It’s hard to tell.  
‘’Scammed, meaning the apartment you thought you had was already occupied?’’ Taehyung has lived in the city all his life, and he has been familiar with the scammers roaming in between others, and cheating the system who carries a blind eye. 
‘’Exactly, and here I was thinking shit like that only happens in the movies.’’ You scoff at the ridiculousness of the overall situation. How come you ended here? Not only with a scam, but a buff tatted guy and his baby daughter? Truly fucking wild. 
‘’Oh babe, you’d be surprised. So who’s the roommate? An old lady?’’ Taehyung jokes once again, the sounds of chairs clinging against each other roaming in the air, the both of you settling in the common room ready for the children. 
‘’I wouldn’t exactly say an old lady…’’ Taehyung’s interest quirks an ounce higher, his movements stopping to a halt, waiting for you to spill. 
‘’His name is Jungkook and he has a baby daughter named So-ah.’’ Taehyung’s face drops, eyes wide as his mouth hangs wide because clearly, no old lady is named Jungkook. 
‘’If you tell me right now he’s hot, I’m gonna think you’re living out everyone’s fantasy.’’ Taehyung holds up his pointy finger, eyebrow intact with his overall movement and you cringe because you really don’t want to admit Jungkook is hot — even though you ogled his abs for a good 20 minutes the first time you met him. 
‘’He’s—’’ You try to form words, your mind flashing images of Jungkook with wet hair, droplets of water covering his abs that tensed whenever he chuckled at your ridiculousness the day you got scammed. 
‘’Oh my god… You’re living with a DILF.’’ The term Taehyung uses makes you wheeze, losing composure as you move your body along with the laughter that escapes you. 
Taehyung doesn’t get more of a word before the first pair of parents walk in, hand in hand with their child. The day has just begun. 
Meanwhile, Jungkook is currently taking care of So-ah. She hasn’t stopped crying since you decided to be annoying and flush down the good morning that Jungkook had anticipated. Maybe he should kick you out because right now his left ear hasn’t stopped ringing while his daughter’s face is almost pure red due to her countless cries. 
‘’So-ah, please.’’ Jungkook places her down on his chest, her face rubbing on it, wetting it along, the discomforting sound continuing. Jungkook feels lost and he wants to revenge himself on you because you’re probably dancing at work while he’s here, with dark eye bags and a crying baby under his arm. 
Sometimes it makes him wonder if it would be different if So-ah’s mother were still around. Maybe she wouldn’t cry as much. A mother’s touch is important for babies at her age and Jungkook feels guilty. In reality, he just wants So-ah to be okay, to feel understood, and frankly, at the moment understanding her is difficult. He continues to pat her back, rocking her back and forth in his gaming chair, set up by the computer that has an awaiting meeting for him in two hours. He can do this, he’ll just freshen up as soon as she goes back to sleep. 
The day spins around faster than possible, the sun already setting behind the building in an orange glow and Taehyung is currently wiping down the mess that was left on the tables since lunch. 
‘’So, regarding your dilf, is he single?’’ You’re close to spilling the scene where you asked Jungkook where his partner was only to get a no, which only made you more curious than before. It isn’t likely for you in the span of living to have met a single father. In most cases it’s single mothers, so to say you were surprised was an understatement. 
‘’He— Yes, apparently he is.’’ You’re uncertain and Taehyung casually nods at the response, making you reconsider if you’re even allowed to be curious regarding Jungkook’s living situation. 
‘’Well, this is the start of a beautiful love story.’’ You stick your tongue out in offense to Taehyung’s joke, while he cracks himself up, his boxy smile on display as well. 
‘’You’re the worst.’’ He trails right behind you, as you close down the place and leave it behind for tomorrow. 
‘’Right, but if anyone were to ask you’d still point at me for being the best colleague you’ve had.’’ He’s not entirely wrong and you get to prove it to him by remaining silent. 
After you and Taehyung part ways, you hurry home in desperation to see if the grumpy expression is still remaining on Jungkook’s face from this morning. To your surprise, it isn’t. You find Jungkook sprawled on the couch, his chest exposed and his baby daughter laying on top of him, both of them breathing in sync. 
If Jeon Jungkook didn’t open his mouth from time to time you’d start to like him, because seeing him sleep in complete silence makes him seem… not so bad as you had thought. But then again he was rude even though he certainly helped you out after your scam episode. 
You decide to make dinner, leaving the both of them to rest while listening to soothing jazz music. Somehow with time passing by and the smell filtering through the apartment as it cooks, Jungkook stirs awake, So-ah along with him. He manages to push himself upwards, holding onto So-ah and finds you swaying as you cook in the open kitchen. 
Memories cloud Jungkook’s mind back when he was still with— 
‘’Oh! You’re awake.’’ You had felt a pair of eyes boring at your back, so when you turn to see Jungkook spacing out you make yourself noticeable. 
‘’Yeah, smells great by the way.’’ It’s then Jungkook realizes he’s yet to wear a shirt and it’s become an accidental habit of being shirtless in front of you. The last thing he wants is for you to get the wrong signal. 
‘’Thank you.’’ You take the compliment lightly, letting it pass by your head so your focus remains on the main goal; having Jungkook willingly move out. 
Jungkook is completely oblivious to your plan, although it would make sense if he slowly started to catch on to your smoothie early morning surprise. But for now, you’re hungry and there’s still a good five months left before you leave each other’s sight. 
The dinner turns out successful, So-ah doesn’t cry once and both you and Jungkook groan afterward, bloated from overeating. He thanks you before returning back to his room, leaving you to do all the dishes. 
Great. 
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Living with Jungkook had run smoothly, your hopes in gaining the apartment fading the more time went by with him being extremely kind. It hadn’t offended you but you were certain he was rude and didn’t like you. But an early Monday morning, Jungkook proved to you exactly how much that apartment means to you. 
You hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep that night, the walls a lot thinner than you had anticipated and So-ah had cried most of the night, not only waking her dad but you as well. Babies are wonderful creatures, but at night it surely paints a different motive than the one you’re being met with during the day. 
Blaming Jungkook for your lack of sleep would be rude on your part, so you accept it by making a cup of coffee early morning. It was the next best solution and as you’re sitting on the counter, waiting for the water to boil, Jungkook walks in dressed in black joggers and a white t-shirt. 
‘’Morning.’’ You’re holding back from laughing at how alike the both of you look. So-ah really destroyed you for the better. Jungkook joins in on the coffee solution, making his mug ready right next to you in silence. 
When the water is ready, you jump down, pouring the warm water after adding a few teaspoons of instant coffee. Jungkook follows you right after, stirring it with his spoon. As you walk towards the refrigerator, Jungkook is quicker than you, pulling the milk out and pouring it into his mug. 
‘’Could you pass me the milk?’’ Jungkook grins at your question and it’s then you notice he’s poured the remaining drops, leaving no milk for you. Fucking marvelous. 
‘’Better luck next time.’’ He winks at you, slowly walking back to his room as you flick him off without him noticing. 
Yeah, you definitely spoke too soon when you even let yourself think Jungkook might be a nice guy. He’s not and he just started a war. 
Taehyung notices how different your state is today, the flatlined smile throwing him off guard. Being the good colleague that he is, he makes you sit down as he prepares everything. 
‘’I’m not doing this for free, spill.’’ You groan out of tiredness and anger, holding your face that can barely keep up with everything around you. 
‘’Fucking… Jungkook.’’ You squint your eyes, already plotting how you’ll manage to rip every part of him apart. Taehyung would lie if he admitted that you in your current state isn’t scaring the shit out of him. 
‘’I was beginning to think he was remotely nice, until this morning.’’ Taehyung hums along, uncertain where exactly you’re heading with this conversation. It’s something Taehyung has learned about you in the past years you’ve worked alongside, your conversations always turn in a different direction no matter how precisely you start them.  
‘’Taehyung, would you get pissed if someone took the rest of the milk when you’ve already prepared a cup of coffee?’’ 
‘’He didn’t—’’ 
Everything makes sense for Taehyung. Jungkook has practically started a war with you because one thing everyone should know when it comes to you is to never mess with your morning coffee. Specifically when you desperately need one. 
‘’He surely fucking did.’’ You scoff out of disbelief. ‘’He even laughed when he emptied it.’’ The images flash through your brain once more, a betrayal that has caused a lot of damage to your already ruined morning state due to So-ah. 
‘’Go make yourself some coffee, don’t let him get to your head for now. It’s not worth it.’’ Taehyung was right, it would stupid to hold milk accountable for Jungkook and your reasons for despising him. Hopefully, it was a mistake and you’ll return home with a better state of mind, Jungkook leaving you rather at peace.
You follow Taehyung’s instructions, walking inside the semi-small kitchen for staff, and begin making your fuel for the day. 
Work turns out easier after you get coffee in your system, Taehyung takes most of the tasks throughout the day to ease down any forms of headaches that might come along due to your lack of sleep. Small moments and gestures like these, remind you how truly lucky you are to have a colleague like Taehyung. He has never made things more difficult, always managing to make everything easy and simple. 
As soon as the clock strikes, parents fill up the entrance awaiting their children who are too busy playing outside, enjoying their free time. The sun has already moved down further, creating a beautiful sunset, whose golden rays move along the filled playground that’s messy due to every toy in sight being used throughout the day. The parents were kind enough to teach their kids to always clean up after themselves, leaving the entrance the remaining spot to clean. When you’re about to reach for a broom, Taehyung catches it before you. 
‘’Go home. I got this.’’ His voice is stern as if he already knows you’re about to plead to do it yourself. 
You let out a sigh, thanking him as many times as you can in the span of you dressing yourself up to go outside. Taehyung brushes you off, a semi-smile resting nicely on his framed face. 
The apartment is empty, silent, and dark when you enter. You wonder where Jungkook must’ve gone, the sky from outside already an ounce darker than when you stepped out from work. You’re not too worried, your petty self still being remotely annoyed with the morning incident. 
When you walk past the living room, you feel yourself crash down and watching a movie. It’s much needed after today and maybe it’ll slowly lull you to sleep. Since you were little, sleeping at night had always been a difficulty so a distraction in the background could likely push you towards the sleep you’ve been craving. 
You settle on watching a crime film that piques your interest on Netflix. You’ve managed to add a bit more lighting inside the apartment, a few lamps surrounding the couch.
The plot starts to reveal itself, leaving you speechless as you bite down on the blanket, eyes fully open, trailing along whenever someone moves on screen. You’re just about to catch a big lead to why the certain murder occurred when Jungkook walks in with So-ah drinking from a bottle.  
‘’Oh, hey.’’ You quickly say before averting your attention back on the screen. Jungkook squints his eyes, having trouble seeing the big screen but as soon as he catches on, he tsks. 
‘’Wait— Isn’t that the film where the protagonist is actually the killer?’’ The moment Jungkook speaks, a clue leads to having the protagonist on the list of who might’ve done it and now Jeon Jungkook just asked for a ticket to hell. 
‘’Are you fucking kidding me?!’’ You exclaim loudly, throwing both hands and arms in the air, frustration seeping through every vein coursing through your body. You’re seeing absolute red. 
‘’Oh shit, my bad.’’ You aren’t even glancing towards him, but you can hear the shit eating grin he’s trying to suppress. You close your eyes, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, remembering Taehyung’s words from earlier. It’s not worth it. He’s right, it truly isn’t and you’re being weak by letting small annoying things set you off like a grenade. 
You’re not letting him win. Things have only just begun. 
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Returning the favor with annoying gestures had only turned the next two months into a living hell. The apartment went from walking on a dream to walking on eggshells. It had started with a minor mistake in the early morning with the dreadful lack of sleep and constant bickering. Your dreams of owning the apartment slowly crashing as you’ve been looking for new apartments, wanting to get furthest away from Jeon Jungkook and his annoying behavior. 
If it weren’t for Taehyung you would’ve handled the situation differently, but Taehyung has always assured you to stand your ground and not let him get to you. Jungkook has already been kind enough for you to stay, so to make it easier, it’d be best not to mess it up by revenging yourself. But you badly wanted to. Just once. To see Jungkook’s face twist to annoyance in a mere second, while you try your best not to sing happily right after. 
Although, the only thing keeping both you and Jungkook on the ground from ripping one's hair out, was So-ah. Her magical baby powers overrule the both of you, and her eyes are wide and full of hope for what’s to come. 
When you had first moved in, Jungkook wasn’t exactly fond of you being near his daughter but with time and his suddenly busy schedule, he had you keep an eye out for So-ah who was distracting him too much with her cuteness. So-ah quickly loved your company, your small jokes, and countless attempts in making her giggle. Jungkook couldn’t keep you two away from one another, so he accepted it. 
The weekend had finally rolled around and after a week of none other than small bickering and disagreements between you and Jungkook, you were finally at ease in your bedroom. The discussions between you were ridiculous — Taehyung’s words not yours. It could go from a minor detail, like the temperature in the apartment to a full-on debate on whether the film he wants to watch is better than your own choice. 
As you’re laying in your bed, you look up at the painted dark blue ceiling, your curtains open, accepting the outside light to shine in. You’ve always loved the natural darkness and how it covers every room differently than if everything is covered, turning to full darkness. You turn constantly, your mind being more awake than you had anticipated. It humors you that you always feel exhausted after speaking with Jungkook, yet here you are alone full of energy. 
Tossing and turning continue for what feels like an hour and you decide to give up. Rather than reading a book, you walk out to grab a glass of water, your throat feeling a bit dry. You figure Jungkook isn’t awake at three in the morning, which explains why you don’t put on pants, walking out in nothing but a satin white t-shirt, with black lace underwear. 
Even though you don’t like Jungkook, you still show respect to him and his daughter by carefully walking to the kitchen to not make any sounds. The living room has the same light as your bedroom and as you’re about to turn, you bump into Jungkook. His skin feels warm, but you quickly pull away and Jungkook blinks at you with tired eyes. 
‘’M’ sorry.’’ His voice is deep, groggy even and you collect the dots that Jeon Jungkook just woke up. 
‘’All good.’’ 
Thankfully, Jungkook is too busy going to the bathroom to notice your sleeping attire that exposes half of your body. You sigh in relief, accidentally catching a glimpse of Jungkook’s ass, being hugged by his boxers as he walks further away from you. 
You shake your head, ignoring what your eyes caught onto, focusing solemnly on getting water as planned. 
You’re about to drink your last cup when Jungkook walks past you once again. You’re not in the mood to talk to him, so you chug your water wanting to leave the kitchen as quickly as possible. It doesn’t exactly go as planned, the water trickling by the corners of your lips, further down your shirt. 
‘’Fuck.’’ You groan, realizing how much you’ve accidentally spilled. The fabric clings onto your breasts and as you’re about to pull on it, you catch Jungkook turning his head quickly from your direction. The action doesn’t throw itself in your head, instead, you become annoyed. 
‘’What?’’ Why is he still standing here? Shouldn’t he already be back in his room by now? 
‘’J-just grabbing some water.’’ Jungkook mumbles, his voice becoming an ounce lower and somehow it catches your attention that he sounds nervous? 
‘’Be my guest.’’ You move further away, trying to cover your lower half who’s exposing too much to your roommate who has managed to piss you off for two months straight with absolutely no reason. 
Jungkook keeps his eyes on the sink, although you throw a glance at him and you really wish you hadn’t. His arms are flexing as they hold onto the counter, and the prominent veins and lines of his definite muscles are showcased. You begin to notice each small detail of his tattoos that have managed to flow into one big art piece on his arm. 
You’ve been too annoyed with Jungkook to notice the minor details of him. His Adam's apple bops in the rhythm of the gulps he takes, almost inhaling the water quickly. Somehow your body reacts quicker than your mind, shivers coursing through your body the longer you stand and watch Jungkook. The staring gets cut off when Jungkook places the empty cup down on the counter. 
He throws a glance your way, your skin already feeling hot by the close space. ‘’Well, goodnight.’’ Jungkook walks past you, your faces inches apart for a split second before he’s gone from your sight. 
When you lay back down in your bed, your heart is beating incredibly fast and your body doesn’t stop growing hotter. What is wrong with you? This is Jungkook. As in your roommate, who’s made it his life’s mission in pissing you off and almost made you explode like a grenade for the whole world to see and the neighborhood to hear. 
All while you’re wondering why exactly your brain feels fuzzy, Jungkook is freaking out in his room. His dick has managed to betray him. He blames it on his lack of hookups, but deep down he knows it was because of you. His mind had fogged for a minute when he caught a glimpse of what was hiding underneath your t-shirt, but as soon as the water dripped down he didn’t even have to try and guess. He’s angry and frustrated at himself and if it were possible to have a one-on-one fight with his dick, he would’ve. His body had only betrayed him and that made him certain that he had to stay far away from you. 
Although, whenever Jungkook closed his eyes he could see your naked thighs, and the black lace seeping through the material of your shirt. He could see the water dripping down your neck, rolling further down your chest and creating a wet patch on your— 
This has to stop. Jungkook begins to think of everything that turns him off until his state finally gives in, letting him sleep. 
It takes longer for you. Your mind has always loved to play tricks, letting you imagine the what if’s of every situation you’re met with. They’re simple at first, only showcasing what you had seen earlier when your eyes didn’t stop studying every minor detail on Jungkook. But then they turn an ounce wilder. You’re tracing your fingers on the ink, while his arm is holding onto your waist, keeping you close and letting you feel his warm breath against your cheek. 
Fuck. 
Do you… do you want Jungkook? 
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Taehyung notices it the moment you step into work, how quiet you are, not daring to meet his eyes when he cheerfully greets you. Something happened and you’re not exactly proud of it. 
‘’So, am I gonna have to ask or are you going to tell me what happened?’’ Your eyes pop open, gulping down as you mumble out a weak ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ and quickly move on with your tasks for the day. 
Taehyung isn't letting that slide so easily and sooner or later he’ll either find out for himself or you’ll tell him out of panic. 
It takes Kim Taehyung exactly four hours to know exactly what has been bothering you and just as you’re about to leave the kindergarten, he decides to bring it up. 
‘’You want to fuck him.’’ You stop in your tracks. 
Okay, now is the time to use your fifth grade theater skills and act as if Taehyung didn’t speak your thoughts out in the open. 
‘’Fuck Jungkook? As in Jeon Jungkook, my annoying roommate who’s made my living situation a living hell the last two months? Oh please.’’ 
‘’Y/N, you know that doesn’t work on me.’’ You sigh loudly, rolling your eyes. 
‘’Fine, fine!’’ You throw your hands in the air, giving up and Taehyung just shakes his head over your dramatic antics. 
‘’I thought you, ‘hated his guts’.’’ Taehyung quotes you from the past hundred conversations you’ve had regarding your roommate and the new banter you’ve yet shared before you left for work. 
‘’I still do! This will fade, do not worry.’’ Not only are you trying to convince Taehyung, but yourself as well. 
Taehyung doesn’t argue with you. You have enough on your plate already and he knows you’re very much conscious of the mess you’ve brought upon yourself. 
When you leave work and Taehyung, your phone starts to ring in your pocket and you’re thrilled to see Ash’s name displayed. 
‘’Hi!’’ Your friend cheerfully greets you and the conversations immediately flows. She tells you how amazing it’s been living with Lucca and how they’re currently making her favorite dish. 
‘’That’s great babe.’’ When she’s about to ask you how your new apartment is, Lucca cuts her off, talking on the phone instead. 
‘’Y/N, come over! We have your favorite wine.’’ The offer tempts and you agree, taking transportation towards your old apartment. It doesn’t even faze you to text Jungkook that you’ll come home a bit later, too excited to see your friends again after so long. 
Jungkook has just finished changing So-ah’s diaper, when he realizes it’s dark outside and you haven’t come home yet. Just as he begins to worry, he scolds himself internally for worrying about you as if he even cares about you in the first place. You’re doing fine without him. Right? 
So-ah grabs Jungkook’s attention when she manages to roll over for the first time and Jungkook cheers her on, grabbing her face to give her kisses everywhere, her small arms flapping excitedly. 
‘’Wait, you have a roommate?’’ Lucca asks, as they pour a glass of wine in your almost empty glass. You find yourself sighing whenever Jungkook is mentioned and you quickly see the images of his body against the natural darkness in the kitchen. 
‘’Yes, two actually.’’ 
You spend the following thirty minutes explaining your scam situation, Jungkook and his baby daughter now being your roommates for the next six months. You mention your irritation towards Jungkook due to his annoying antics, and the kitchen encounter. 
‘’Woah.’’ Ash’s mouth has gone dry from keeping it open for a while, and Lucca doesn’t hesitate to drink up the rest of the wine in their glass. 
The situation is indeed complicated and overwhelming and you chug along with Lucca on the wine while Ash starts coughing. 
‘’But listen, just because I’ve thought about it doesn’t mean I would.’’ Excuses, that’s all you can bring to the table and Ash rolls her eyes at your ridiculousness. 
‘’Are you fucking kidding me? You haven’t had sex for almost a year. Babe, sorry but you’re gonna cave.’’ 
Your mouth drops in offense and you turn to get Lucca on your side, but they stay quiet which indicates they agree with every word. 
‘’S-seriously? You’re gonna pick Ash’s side over mine?’’ You point at your ex-roommate who smirks, knowing she’s won. 
‘’Y/N, you need a distraction.’’ Ash speaks first, holding onto both of your hands for comfort because she’s worried, you can see it in her eyes that slightly crinkle when she speaks. 
‘’A distraction?’’ 
‘’Yes, someone who isn’t Jungkook.’’ Lucca winces at the idea, watching Ash explain an idea that’s nothing but awful and stupid. 
‘’Um, maybe this isn’t—’’ Lucca tries to butt in, but Ash is stubborn. 
‘’Nonsense. Isn’t your friend Han-bin still single?’’ 
‘’Well, yes but—’’ 
‘’Perfect. Y/N, you should go on a date with Han-bin. Not only is he a very sweet guy, but he’s an excellent cook.’’ Ash tries her best to sell Han-bin as best as possible for you, and at this point you’re desperate to try anything. Anything to get Jungkook and his beautiful body out of your mind. 
‘’Okay, you can give him my number.’’ Lucca is about to throw a fight with Ash, but you’ve already agreed so there’s no point. 
‘’You’re not going to regret this babe.’’ Ash convinces you but deep down your gut feeling shifts uncomfortably at the idea. 
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Two and a half weeks. That’s how long it takes for you and Han-bin to find some time for the date that he’s planning. The pictures frame him nicely and it’s no lie that the guy is attractive, although your mood is dreading a weird feeling that you can’t exactly pinpoint. 
As you walk towards the exit, Jungkook notices how nicely dressed you are. Normally you don’t bother adding a formality to your outfits, but this… this is too classy, just not you. 
‘’Going somewhere?’’ You turn your head, Jungkook watching you from the couch as So-ah is laying on his legs, holding onto her dad’s pinky. 
‘’Actually, yes I am.’’ You answer confidently, holding tightly onto the strap of your bag. The bag whom your mom gifted you for your eighteenth birthday, when in reality you just wished for Jackson Wang merch. The bag is more expensive than your rent, and you feel weird using it today. Somehow you aren’t that comfortable being yourself yet, also the restaurant Han-bin has picked out is way too expensive for you to just wear your casual attire. 
‘’But, I’m gonna be late for my date so I’ll see you later yeah?’’ Jungkook tries not to react to the word date, but his jaw clenched as he tries to force out a fake smile. 
‘’Good for you.’’ Jungkook expects you to leave right away, but you catch him by surprise, walking towards him and So-ah. 
‘’Bye, pretty.’’ You squish her cheeks softly, as she coos excitedly and Jungkook’s heart skips a beat at the love seeping through the room. His daughter watches you with careful eyes as you remove yourself from the frame, walking towards the front door and Jungkook’s heart doesn’t stop pounding, he thinks he might faint. 
You’ve only been gone for an hour and Jungkook can’t stop thinking about you. His mind constantly brings back the small kitchen encounter and how both your faces were inches apart for a split second before he continued to walk towards his room. 
He needs to make this stop. He’s here at home groaning and frustrated over you, you who’s currently on a date and having a wonderful time. 
‘’So, then my roommate proceeded to drink the same water!’’ Han-bin explains jokingly and you’ve lost track of the many gross experiences he’s had with his four roommates. You’ve lost your appetite halfway through, the gross details clouding your mind, but thankfully it’s that and not Jungkook. 
Before you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, Han-bin compliments your hair and you smile at the sincerity of his comment. It makes you realize that Jungkook has never once pointed out something great about you. Wait, why are you even thinking about Jungkook? 
There’s only one solution for Jungkook to get you out of his mind. He’s collected the dots and it’s because he hasn’t sex for a year that he’s acting this way. You just managed to set him off. It’s nothing more personal than that. 
So, easily he’ll just need to get out there, maybe Jimin would be down to go clubbing tonight, and hopefully Jungkook gets to take someone home. Which explains why he’s now talking to his sister, arranging for her to have So-ah for the weekend. She gladly accepts, her husband shouting nonsense in the background which causes Jungkook to laugh before his sister has to hang up, because her husband is messing up everything in the kitchen. 
The date for you might’ve started out a bit weird, but slowly you realize Han-bin is a really nice guy and you enjoy talking to him. The conversation has a good balance, both of you speaking equally about interests, experiences… 
‘’Want me to walk you home?’’ Han-bin suggests. 
You have a lot on your mind, even though you managed to have a nice evening it doesn’t stop the nonsense that you’ve created for yourself regarding your roommate who you have the hots for. 
‘’I’m okay, thank you for tonight Han-bin.’’ 
It’s a little over midnight when you arrive home. The apartment is dark which is code for bedtime for the whole house. So, you play quietly, tiptoeing to your room and trying your best to not make a sound. 
You hear a sudden whine echoing in the apartment, and before you can ask any questions, Jungkook’s name is being moaned loudly and your body freezes in place. You’re stuck. Although, the moans don’t slow down, only increasing — the thin walls doing no favor for you. 
Emotions are all over the place. You don’t know if you’re angry, irritated, sad, happy, uncomfortable… you’re just stuck with no words. 
As you finally lay down, you squish your third pillow over your head, blocking out the skin slapping sounds and somehow — weirdly — the situation motivates you to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head. 
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Step one to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head, find a clubbing partner. 
‘’Taehyung, shut up you haven’t done anything else than complain about the lack of sex you’ve been experiencing lately.’’ You reason, as you look through your closet for eye-catching clothes that surely will get you laid. 
‘’Fuck you, you always know what to say to get me to agree.’’ With a groan Taehyung finally says the magic word, telling you he’ll see you later. This was easier than you had expected. 
Step two to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head, find a club loaded with hot people. 
Thankfully, Taehyung knows his way around town and the club he’s picked out is perfect. As soon as you both step in, the neon lights catch you off guard along with the hard base and the moving dance floor. 
Going out with Taehyung is fun, until he’s shoving his tongue down a guy’s throat. Apparently they met by the bar, and Taehyung being the flirt, persuaded the stranger easily. 
Sipping on your straw, you keep your eyes on a lookout for a potential hookup. Most are occupied, either sexting someone or having someone close by. The bartender in front of you notices the wearing frown that covers your beautiful face. 
‘’You okay?’’ The unrecognizable voice catches you off guard and when you set eye on the bartender, your mouth tries not to drop. 
The bartender is wearing a tight black t-shirt, showcasing his pecs and built shoulders. His hair is long, pulled behind a snapback. He looks at you with a worried expression, holding onto the counter. 
‘’I’m okay.’’ You force a smile. 
‘’Come on, I can tell something is bothering you. I’m all ears.’’ 
The offer is kind and just as you’re about to say no, the bartender continues. 
‘’Listen, I couldn’t help but notice your friend making out with that guy for the past thirty minutes.’’ You turn around, Taehyung is still going at it and you roll your eyes over your colleague being better than you at getting some. 
‘’Yeah, he’s got more luck than myself.’’ You sigh, folding your arms over the counter and the bartender cracks a laugh. 
‘’Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get lucky.’’ He winks and your body grows hot. 
‘’I’m giving it an hour, or else I’m leaving.’’ You crack, and the bartender raises his eyebrows. 
You watch as the bartender walks to the far side of the bar and comes out front to stand right in front of you. He towers over you and you have to lift your head to look into his eyes, watching as they darken. One of his hands snakes around to the small of your back as he pulls you towards him. Your chest is flushed against his own and now you can really feel the hardness of his pecs and your mouth waters. He places his other hand around to the side of your neck, lowering himself closer to your face. His lips ghost your ear, the skin making the slightest contact as he speaks.
"You don't need an hour."
A shiver rakes through your body at the proposition.
"I don't even know your name," you say with a hint of a giggle laced in your tone.
"The name's Namjoon.’’ You nod, tracing your finger on his broad shoulder while his eyes continue to explore every inch of you. 
‘’Y/N.’’ 
His grip tightens on you, and before you get a chance to speak Namjoon beats you to it. 
‘’Wanna get out of here?’’ 
It takes nothing more than for you to drag Namjoon home with you, leaving Taehyung and his hookup behind. 
Namjoon is bold that you’re completely blown away by his confidence. He’s managed to make you wet before even reaching your apartment. His words only build up the intensity of the situation and when you finally reach the front door, you look back, Namjoon biting on his lip as he patiently waits. 
When the code is pushed in, you grab Namjoon by the collar of his bomber jacket, until you reach your room. 
Namjoon doesn’t waste another minute, grabbing you once again by the waist to connect your lips in a needy and passionate kiss. It’s full of tongue, along with lip bites. You whine against them when the tip of his tongue coats your bottom lip as he mischievously smirks. 
Your hands tug on his neck, pulling him as close as you can, all while his hands slip under your shirt and roam on your naked back. His hands are slightly cold, sending a shiver. With enough pulling on each other’s clothes in desperation, Namjoon is the first to pull away trying to catch his breath. 
‘’Take off your shirt.’’ You don’t hesitate to obey, tugging on your top in a hurry before it lands on your bedroom floor. 
Jungkook had just finished a last minute task at work, realizing he had enough time for a game of Overwatch. He’s focused on aiming, the mouse moving at a speed, along with the clicks on his keyboard. Just as he’s about to reach a win, he hears the front door lock. 
He removes his headset, in doubt if he should walk out and greet you, ask you about your night with Taehyung or stay and play stubborn. The decision gets made for him, when he hears an unfamiliar voice coming from your room. 
Wait. 
Namjoon hovers over you, his hands wandering over your upper body, not missing one inch. His warm breath almost swallows you whole as you slowly spread your legs further beneath him. 
He catches the signal quickly, moving more downwards, letting his mouth trail wildly on your naked skin. He nips at it softly, before replacing it with a wet kiss. 
As he’s reached further down, Namjoon locks eyes with you, supporting both hands on your waist. 
‘’Can I eat you out?’’ 
When Jungkook hears the first moan from your room, he feels instant irritation. In reality, it’s not anything he can actually get mad about, when not even twenty four hours ago, he was knees deep in a stranger. But something ticks in Jungkook when he hears how someone else is making you moan like that. 
‘’Ah— Fuck!’’ Your grip tightens on Namjoon’s long dark hair, his tongue rolling over your clit in circles. 
Namjoon is making sure you feel every inch of pleasure, taking his time with his mouth and fingers. You’ve forgotten how great it feels, and Namjoon was definitely the right guy to bring home.
His mouth pushes further against your core, lapping his tongue wherever it can reach and your legs begin to shake under his touch. It’s been a while for you, so your body doesn’t hold you back any further from the reaching orgasm, coming from beneath you. 
Jungkook has blocked out the sounds from your room with his headphones. The sounds from Overwatch are helping him hear only the gunshots and effects the game carries, yet the sounds don’t stop him from feeling a tinge of jealousy. He doesn’t want to admit it, too stubborn to do so. But the thought of someone making you come this second, settles itself as an uncomfortable pit in his stomach and he grabs his mouse more aggressively, frustration coursing through his veins. 
What are you doing to him?  
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Time passes quickly, both you and Jungkook distancing each other from one another. You barely throw a glance at one another. For example, yesterday when Jungkook passed by the living room, you were sitting in silence as New Girl rolled in the background. He knows you could hear him passing, but you didn’t even bother to acknowledge him. Jungkook wishes deep down that the action didn’t hurt him, but somehow it did and now he can’t be around you for his own well being. 
Which results in one month of barely any contact. 
Although, it changes the day Jungkook has to go to a meeting. His boss was okay with him bringing So-ah, as Ji-eun didn’t have time to pick her up for a few hours — and he surely didn’t want to ask you. 
So-ah behaves, zero disturbance caused to the meeting and Jungkook lets her hold his pinky while his boss throws in the plan for the upcoming year. 
When the meeting ends, Jungkook gets a lot of praise from his boss which flusters him as he leaves the building. 
‘’Ready to go home So-ah?’’ She responds with her mouth doing all kinds of noises. She’s slowly growing more, and Jungkook is touched of how beautiful his daughter is becoming with each passing day. 
Going home doesn’t go as planned. You see, Jungkook had always worked from home, due to his job consisting of mostly online work. So he barely leaves the apartment except for grocery shopping or to meet Jimin. Which is the reason behind his big mistake; forgetting his keys. 
It was a new system. The code for opening doors had been dropped after scam episodes had increased. Last month the whole residency got new locks along with a pair of keys. 
Jungkook hates himself, because now there’s only one solution and he really doesn’t want to go there. 
When he pulls up by the kindergarten, Jungkook mentally prays the interaction won’t be awkward. Not that it hasn’t been awkward the last month, but this is different. He’s about to enter your workplace for a goddamn key, because his ass rushed out the apartment instead of being smart and double checking that he had everything before leaving in a hurry. 
You’re gonna hate him for this. He can already imagine the slight frown you’ll have, trying your best not to scold him harshly. 
It’s empty when Jungkook walks in, So-ah sitting comfortably in the infant car seat, which Jungkook holds onto tightly. 
‘’Hello?’’ He calls out, the hallway completely deserted. That’s until a man peaks his head out, raising both brows. 
‘’Hi, can I help you?’’ He walks towards him, drying his hands in what seems to be a cloth. 
‘’Hi, yes. I’m looking for Y/N.’’ 
The man in front of him drops his mouth before it turns to a boxy grin. 
‘’Oh my god. Are you Jungkook?’’ The face Jungkook makes, proves the man’s assumption. 
‘’Taehyung? Could you help me with— Jungkook?’’ He turns to see you, your brows in a frown as he suspected. 
‘’Oh, you’re Taehyung?’’ Jungkook completely ignores your confused state, too excited to meet the Kim Taehyung that his roommate is very fond of. 
‘’An honor.’’ Taehyung bows comically, and Jungkook cracks a laugh from the action. Just as Taehyung is about to crouch down to greet So-ah, you step further, meeting Jungkook eye to eye. 
‘’Jungkook? What are you doing here?’’ You ask. 
Taehyung ignores your question, greeting So-ah gently as Jungkook explains to you the situation. He tries to make himself sound less stupid than he was in the situation, but you don’t seem to buy it. 
You sigh, crossing your arms. ‘’How do you even forget a key?’’ Great, you’re starting a fight. 
‘’It just happened, now can I borrow yours so I can get home?’’ Jungkook’s tone is a bit snappy, and you notice, quickly fuming on the inside. 
Taehyung notices the tension, sending a glance to So-ah that screams ‘am I seeing this too?’ So-ah starts laughing and Taehyung knows internally that she agrees with him. He loves her already. 
‘’Fine, just— Don’t let this happen again.’’ You say sternly, before walking away to grab your keys. 
‘’Trust me, it won’t.’’ Jungkook rolls his eyes when your back turns. 
You aggressively shove the keys in Jungkook’s hand, Taehyung still having a conversation with So-ah throwing funny glances, but neither you nor Jungkook notice, too busy staring each other down. 
‘’Great.’’ 
‘’Great!’’ Jungkook responds more aggressively, saying a calm goodbye to Taehyung who excitedly waves to So-ah. And then he’s out of there faster than lighting. 
‘’Jesus, what crawled up your asses?’’ Taehyung asks, scoffing in disbelief. 
‘’Nothing. Now come help me with the outdoor tables.’’ 
He doesn’t ask any further, seeing you really don’t want to talk about it this moment. 
Jungkook has already started to cook when you ring the doorbell. He opens, greeting you with the expression he left you with at work. 
You return the same energy, not speaking to him as you remove your coat. 
You’re about to walk into your bedroom, to avoid Jungkook when So-ah catches your attention in the living room, rolling around on her own and chewing on a toy. She’s too cute to ignore, so you decide to join her, sitting beside her as you squish her cheeks in a playful manner. 
‘’Look at you, you’ve grown so much.’’ You can’t believe you’ve been a witness to So-ah’s growth. She’s already able to grab onto things, rolling around and rocking back and forth which is a sign she’ll be able to crawl soon. 
As you continue to play with her, letting her explore and sing as she babbles all kinds of nonsense, Jungkook turns to watch the scene. 
You’ve always been careful with So-ah, grasping her as your own and caring a lot for her. He’s noticed how So-ah barely cries anymore, being more calm in your presence. He can get used to this, watching you play with his daughter as he cooks for all three of you. He’s at peace, comfortable with everything in front of him and—
The realization hits Jungkook. 
He doesn’t hate you. 
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You don’t know exactly the moment you realized you didn’t hate Jungkook. It just happened. One day you were in the kitchen and he walked past you, minding his own business and you didn’t have any urge to throw a remark. No, you felt at ease, letting your eyes admire him rather than watch him out of spite. 
Panic seeped through you when you looked at the overall situation. You don’t hate Jungkook, you’ve thought about fuc— Shit. What does this mean? Do you… do you like him? 
That’s crazy, there’s no way you’re possibly liking Jungkook or even starting too. Which is why you agree to go on yet another date with Han-bin. Last time hadn’t turned out that bad. The company was nice, you felt comfortable and yet something just didn’t feel right. Maybe it was the gross experiences Han-bin wasn’t so afraid to share with you, or maybe… because he isn’t a certain someone. 
No. 
You’re going on that date. 
The moment you leave the apartment, Jungkook is taking his afternoon nap with So-ah so you don’t bother notifying him where you’re going. There’s a certain ache in your heart the closer you are to the location picked out by Han-bin. 
Once again, it’s too fancy for your liking but Han-bin makes the environment comfortable with the company of his wild stories. They’re less gross this time and you find yourself laughing at a few of them. 
Time flies rather quickly with Han-bin’s company. If this weren’t a date, you’d be more at ease because Han-bin is a kind person. But dating him might be a stretch for yourself, seeing your mind keeps tracing back to your roommate who probably still hates your guts. 
‘’Hey, can I be honest with you?’’ Han-bin throws you off guard with his question, but you nod regardless. 
‘’I’ve had a great time hanging out with you but,’’ Han-bin looks at you with a genuine and soft smile, ‘’I don’t really think there’s that spark you know?’’ 
‘’Spark?’’ Sure, you’ve dated a few people in the past but no one threw the word spark in the conversation. You think it’s cliché, like every romantic comedy who makes the spark obvious from the beginning. The spark that messes with the main character and their love interest, them tumbling against it until they get in a fight or have to share the same bed, which results in them sharing a passionate kiss and one of them magically proclaims the love they’ve always had for that person. 
That surely doesn’t exist in real life. 
‘’You know, the spark where you know that this person is much more to you. Someone who isn’t just a friend.’’ Han-bin says, his tone laced with hopefulness. It’s then you realize that Han-bin is a romantic, a person who believes in having a special someone for the rest of their life. 
‘’Yeah. I’m sure you’ll find that Han-bin. You’re a great guy.’’ 
‘’Wait, you’re not angry?’’ It’s cute how scared he is to offend you. 
‘’No, no of course not. I see where you’re coming from.’’ Han-bin’s shoulders loosen at your words, feeling more at ease since he’s decided to throw it in the conversation. 
Before you depart your ways, you both come to an agreement of keeping in touch as friends.
Arriving late at the apartment, you move quietly by the entrance. As you’re reaching your bedroom, Jungkook catches you off guard. 
‘’Sorry, did I wake you?’’ 
Jungkook shakes his head, ‘’you’re all good.’’ He doesn’t deny it and you feel a tinge of guilt, seeing the time is past midnight once again. 
You’re about to enter your bedroom door with a simple goodnight, when Jungkook catches you off guard with a question. 
‘’Hey, where were you?’’ Jungkook is leaning against the wall, his arms crossed which only showcase more of his prominent chest and his sleeve sneaking out of his loose t-shirt. 
‘’On a date.’’ You respond coldly, letting go of the handle. 
Jungkook hums, mumbling something along the lines of, ‘’I figured.’’ It throws you off, in a not so cute way. 
‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ It’s almost as if he spoke in a tone for you to hear on purpose, and you’re falling into his trap. 
He shrugs lightly. ‘’Nothing.’’ He’s about to turn around, wearing a smug smile when you continue, setting yourself up for whatever he’s trying to do. 
‘’Clearly it was something.’’ 
‘’Not really.’’ His unbothered attitude sets you off like a grenade, and you’ve finally lost your cool with Jeon Jungkook. 
‘’You know what? You drive me fucking nuts!’’ You aren’t bothered to care how much you’ve raised your voice. 
‘’You’re always pissing me off! For no fucking reason!?’’ Your face feels hot, the anger spilling out of you. 
Jungkook scoffs, unfolding his arms and moving closer to you. 
‘’I pissed you off because you started this! With your fucking morning smoothie.’’ He isn’t helping with the noise, raising his voice as much as you. 
‘’That was one time. Do you need me to quote every time you’ve managed to throw me off?!’’ Your veins are straining against your neck, giving everything you have into your shouting. 
‘’Go ahead!’’ 
‘’You took the rest of the milk. You spoiled the movie I was currently watching. You threw remarks whenever I did the slightest thing, and now? Now you’re commenting on my date!’’ 
Jungkook rolls his eyes at your comment, not bothering to answer you. Yet you continue, because you’re fueling on the inside. 
‘’You have no rights, when you were fucking someone else!’’ You’ve given the signal that you were somehow affected by it, and Jungkook quickly catches it. 
‘’You sound jealous.’’ 
‘’I’m not.’’ You cross your arms, determined to not let him think otherwise. 
‘’Just admit it!’’ 
Your faces are mere inches apart, both panting at a rapid pace. The whole room is heated and you feel yourself sweat underneath your shirt from all the shouting. 
‘’Fuck you.’’ It’s barely a whisper. 
Neither of you move. Eyes are wandering on each other’s faces and that’s when you notice Jungkook’s gaze dropping down to your lips. 
You’re seeing red, although your body feels heated as you move closer, Jungkook’s breath melting into yours. 
Jungkook studies your gaze, before he moves closer, his lips about to brush against yours. 
Just as you’re about to lean in yourself, So-ah starts crying next door, snapping the both of you out of your trance. 
‘’I– I better…’’ Jungkook starts. 
‘’Y-yeah, go ahead.’’ You stutter, moving further away and when Jungkook leaves the hallway, you breathe out. 
What the actual fuck. 
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The following days you avoid Jungkook like the plague. You’ve never been more confused and irritated before. And yet, you can’t stop thinking about it. How close his face was, how his lips were about to seek yours until So-ah started to cry. 
Decisions need to be made. You can’t continue on like this. You need to talk to Jungkook, without screaming at him and wanting to rip his face off. 
As you’re laying under the covers, your thoughts are spiraling around you. You’re contemplating if you should ask him to talk now, because your mind won’t let you rest if you don’t. 
Fuck it. 
You get up in a hurry, walking in a straight line directly to Jungkook’s room. After a few minutes of just staring Jungkook’s door down, your body gives in, knocking on his door calmly. 
When he opens the door, he’s surprised to see you. 
‘’Hey.’’ 
‘’Hi, can we talk? No fighting, just talk.’’ Jungkook nods, grabbing a hoodie by his desk. 
Jungkook doesn’t want to wake up So-ah, so you sit outside, with a cup of tea. It was your idea. Somehow tea always managed to calm down your nerves, and if you wanted to withhold your promise to not fight, you needed to drink some tea along the way. 
‘’What did you want to talk about?’’ He sounds nervous, and your mind re-directs you back to when the both of you were about to kiss in the heat of the moment. 
Instead of bringing that onto the table, you want to ask Jungkook some things that have never left your mind since you moved in. 
‘’It’s more a question.’’ You make it clear and Jungkook turns his head, nodding for you to continue. 
‘’What happened? Why is it only you and So-ah?’’ 
Jungkook lets your question sink in. He’s uncertain if he wants to talk about it, or rather with you. It has somehow been easier for him to distance himself, push you away as much as he could, but that isn’t enough. 
You’re still here, sitting next to him as you admire the stars while awaiting his answer. 
The silence overflows, the wind curving itself as a comfort blanket around you both as you admire the small lights peaking out in the city. 
Jungkook has always been scared of your curious gaze, yet now, it makes sense for him to tell you everything, let his shield down and give you everything that’s needed for you to understand him completely. 
It’s what is needed for you to stop fighting and stepping on each other for no reason. 
‘’Her name was Seul-ki.’’ You turn, surprised he’s answering your question and you stay quiet, letting Jungkook speak. 
‘’She was always selfish. I should’ve known better.’’ Jungkook trails his finger against the mug, images of Seul-ki flooding his mind. 
He looks up, meeting your eyes and you smile softly at him. The smile brings an unwanted comfort, but it helps Jungkook to go through with answering your question fully, 
‘’So-ah was around one month when Seul-ki got a huge opportunity for her career. She didn’t hesitate to take the chance. But with So-ah, it made it difficult for her to go through with it, so she wanted to give So-ah up for adoption and I just—’’ Jungkook takes a deep breath, slightly beginning to tremble. 
‘’I couldn’t. I couldn’t let her do it.’’ Jungkook’s hand trembles against the mug, keeping his emotions locked in, even though they’re close to breaking out. 
‘’So, she left us.’’ 
‘’That must’ve been really hard for you.’’ You’re trying your best not to hold him for comfort, knowing he isn’t exactly fond of you. But something aches in you when you see the tremble he’s currently carrying and how his voice has turned broken. 
‘’Yeah.’’ He’s in doubt of what to say. But something in him continues, letting his inner thoughts win him over. Every frustration, pain and heartbreaking moments he’s felt since Seul-ki left. 
‘’Sometimes I wonder if I have made the right choice. In the beginning So-ah would cry constantly, she’d be distressed and I couldn’t help because I’m not her mother. Sometimes you just need both of your parents and she— she hasn’t…’’ 
‘’Jungkook.’’ Your warm hand lands on his, catching him off guard. 
‘’You’re an amazing dad. So-ah doesn’t need anyone else. You’re all she needs.’’ Your voice is soothing, melting him softly. He believes every word, trusting you much more than he had anticipated and with the hopeful eyes you’re giving him, he knows he’ll be okay. So-ah and him will be okay, without Seul-ki. 
‘’Thank you.’’ Jungkook smiles, the first genuine smile he’s given you since you moved in. 
You stay in place, letting the silence sink in between you as the cold wind flows. 
The starry night is beautiful, alive even. Sparkling and twinkling above you, reminding you of the beauty behind this earth. As you admire the details, Jungkook looks at you, his heart healing the longer he does and he never wants to let go of this moment. 
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Everything becomes easier. You and Jungkook don’t fight anymore, instead you talk and grow closer as time passes. 
You’re still looking for a new apartment, even though the tension has eased down. A plan is a plan. 
Whenever you bring up the apartment search into a conversation between Jungkook and you, his demeanor changes quickly and he immediately shuts himself off. Here you were, thinking he’d be happy that you’re withholding your deal, not irritated. 
Instead of letting it get to you, you continue to hang out with Ash and Lucca. 
“So, Han-bin was a bad idea.” Ash repeats as you’ve told her how the two dates went. 
‘’I already called it the moment you recommended that idea. Like it was the best plan you’ve ever had.’’ Lucca intervenes, crossing their arms. Ash rolls her eyes at her partner, too embarrassed that they might’ve been right. 
‘’But, Ash was right. Han-bin is a sweet guy.’’ You say to hopefully cheer up your friend who’s about to mop in a corner. ‘’We even decided to stay friends.’’ With that, Ash excitedly cheers, and it’s probably because she’s a firm believer in friends to lovers and that it’s the most realistic trope there is out there, meaning she thinks in two three months you’ll finally have a spark with Hanbin. 
‘’How’s the apartment search going?’’ Lucca directs the conversation somewhere else, mostly to cool down Ash who’s probably planning a pinterest wedding board for you and Hanbin in the future. 
‘’It’s going, I think I found a place.’’ 
The supermarket isn’t as crowded as Jungkook anticipated when he came to the conclusion at the last minute that groceries were needed.  
So-ah is clutched tightly onto him, due to the baby sling that Jungkook had mastered the older So-ah got. With her head squished under his chin, Jungkook walks freely, collecting the products at a slow pace. 
‘’Jungkook?’’ His eyes avert to the sound, catching Taehyung waving at him. 
As Taehyung moves closer, Jungkook places down the item to greet him properly. 
‘’Hi So-ah.’’ Jungkook turns so Taehyung can get a better look at her, her eyes turning wide when she sees Taehyung. 
‘’She likes you.’’ Jungkook notices and Taehyung squishes her cheek carefully. 
‘’The feeling is mutual.’’ He cracks a smile. ‘’How’ve you been? Last time I saw you, you and Y/N were about to bite each other’s faces off.’’  The tone indicates he’s joking, although still curious as to how the relationship stands between the two. 
‘’It’s… It’s better.’’ It actually is, and Jungkook’s lips curl into a smile with the memory of your conversation. 
‘’That’s great to hear. She’s been super stressed with finding an apartment.’’ The information throws Jungkook off guard. Are you that desperate to leave? Right after he opened up to you? 
Taehyung quickly catches how Jungkook’s eyes turn downward, his jaw clenching. He’s uncertain if he should point it out, or leave it as it is. 
Thankfully, he gets saved by a call. 
‘’Hey, sorry my brother’s calling me. I’ll see you around?’’ Jungkook nods, and Taehyung softly says goodbye to So-ah before leaving with his phone by the ear. 
The uncomfortable pit never leaves Jungkook’s stomach after his run-in with Taehyung. He knows that there isn’t much time left, and you had made him the promise to leave the moment it hits six months but now? Now Jungkook isn’t so sure if he even wants you to leave. 
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The last few weeks are spent on apartment hunting. You’re barely home, too busy being to open houses after work and on the weekends. It’s an easy distraction from your repressed feelings towards Jungkook and it’s exactly what you need. Sooner or later you’ll leave your roommates and start over on your own. 
Jungkook has an urge to tell you how he feels, how angry he is that you’re leaving but you keep missing each other. Whenever he passes by your room, he’s close to doing it but then you’re in a hurry to reach the next open house. 
If he hadn’t felt anything for you, he’d be extremely grateful that you’re doing all of this. You actually kept your promise and made yourself trustworthy. 
But, time is ticking and Jungkook is running out of time. He needs to do something, fast.  
The weekend rolls around, and Jimin comes to pick up So-ah for the night. 
‘’I owe you big time. Thank you.’’ He hands Jimin an overnight bag, with everything he needs to take care of So-ah. 
‘’Don’t mess this up Jungkook.’’ He gives a warning and Jungkook’s palms start to sweat. 
‘’I won’t.’’ Jimin leaves quickly after, leaving Jungkook alone with his thoughts. 
Work runs smoothly for you, Taehyung and you, having fun with the children throughout the day but as soon as the golden sunset comes to view, you’re excited to come home. 
Home. Soon that home will turn into a different place and it makes your heart drop by the thought. You’ll miss Jungkook, with his crazy and annoying remarks. You’ll miss So-ah, her galaxy eyes and her curiosity. 
But nothing lasts forever. 
The apartment feels empty when you walk in. You don’t hear So-ah or Jungkook’s Overwatch that he always forgets to turn off. 
When you move to the living room, Jungkook is sitting on the couch, his leg bouncing at a quick pace. 
‘’Jungkook?’’ His head snaps up. 
‘’Y/N, hi.’’ He gets up, moving closer to you. 
‘’Are you okay?’’ He hasn’t stopped rubbing his palm on his neck, a nervous habit you’ve quickly caught onto while living with Jungkook. 
‘’I’m fine. I need to say something.’’ His voice is stern and you quickly step back, nodding. 
‘’Okay.’’ 
‘’I don’t want you to leave.’’ Your heart stops at his words. 
‘’What? Why?’’ 
Jungkook steps closer, his breathing uneven as he studies your face. ‘’B-because…’’ The nervous stuttering doesn’t stop and Jungkook closes his eyes for a moment. 
‘’Because I–’’ 
Jungkook doesn’t continue his sentence, pulling you closer by the waist before he lets his lips glide above yours. His lips feel soft, and your breath hitches subtly right as he presses them down to yours. 
The kiss is short, Jungkook pulling away just before you have a chance to act upon it yourself. 
‘’That’s why.’’ Jungkook doesn’t let his arm fall from your waist, still holding onto you tight. 
You don’t respond, instead your hand moves upwards, resting it by his cheek. Jungkook gulps by your action, leaning into your hand for more comfort and you smile softly at him. 
‘’I won’t leave.’’ You confirm and Jungkook’s body loosens, melting against yours as he reconnects your lips in yet another kiss. 
You clutch yourself to him, as your lips move in sync, giving each other every comfort needed. 
Neither of you move away, letting the kiss grow heated. When Jungkook slips his tongue past your lips, you’re almost drowning in his touch. He’s careful, teasing you along the way while giving you a taste of himself. You’re just about to pull him further in when he stops, leaning his forehead against yours. 
‘’Do you want to—’’ 
‘’Stop? No.’’ You hover your lips above his, before you whisper. ‘’Please, don’t stop.’’ 
You’ve waited too long for this, and now that you finally have Jungkook you don’t ever want this moment to stop. 
Jungkook’s demeanor changes completely, his softness somehow disappearing and an ache begins to grow between your legs on what’s to come. 
He turns you both around, pushing you down on the sofa. Jungkook continues to kiss you, his hand wandering on your breasts, before it drags further down, grabbing your thigh softly. 
You offer to touch him everywhere, starting by his back. Your hands slip through his t-shirt to roam on the naked skin. It feels delicate against your palm the further you drag it upwards to his nape. 
Jungkook’s breathing changes due to your touch, his lips moving further down, reaching your neck. His tongue traces patterns, letting you feel the wet sensation while your hold on Jungkook tightens. 
It doesn’t exactly click for you that Jungkook is hovering above you, giving you his time with his tongue on your neck. And it only excites you more that it’s finally happening. 
‘’Jungkook.’’ You murmur under your breath, bucking your hips forward in hopes of grazing yourself against his bulge. 
He groans against your neck at your neediness, giving you a small bite which makes you gasp. 
‘’You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting this.’’ He says softly, his words trail gently on your skin, and you smile from the confirmation he just gave you. 
When he reaches your waistband, you grab ahold of his cheek. 
‘’What are you doing?’’ It’s not that you don’t want to, of course you do. You haven’t thought about anything else for the past three months of living with Jungkook but you’re nervous. 
‘’Let me make you feel good. Can I?’’ You gulp, nodding nervously, letting him have his way with you. 
Jungkook doesn’t even struggle when he takes off your pants, removing them perfectly and it almost makes you crack up at how ideal it was. 
Your grin is exchanged with a frown of pleasure when Jungkook traces his fingers on the fabric of your thong. He’s making you work for it and frankly, you don’t mind. 
The pad of his fingers press down on your clit, making your breath hitch by the sensation. You feel everything yet nothing and it makes your body buck into his hand. Jungkook smirks by the sudden action, continuing to tease you with his fingers until you’ll plead. 
The touching continues, a few presses once in a while making you hiss. He hasn’t dared to move beneath the fabric and your patience is running on a thin thread. 
Without thinking further, you grab ahold of his wrist. You’re done with his teasing. It’s unfair that he’s here, taking his time with you when you’ve both been longing for this exact moment. 
‘’Jeon Jungkook.’’ He grins at the use of his full name and you want to throw a fit. 
‘’I’ll stop, I promise.’’ He pecks your lips, and considering you trust him, you let go of his wrist. 
Some things truly never change. 
He keeps his word, removing the fabric instead of teasing you further. The cool air hits your core, making you shudder before Jungkook can continue. His palm keeps itself rested on your thigh, while his tattooed hand comes in contact with your slit. 
The first few strokes are slow, collecting some of your arousal and spreading it all over. Jungkook’s mouth is agape, eyes heavy as he watches your exposed heat and his fingers decorating it with slow movements. 
‘’Fuck, baby.’’ Jungkook breathes out, stunned to have you like this. 
The nickname causes your cheeks to heat up, flustered by such. 
No warnings, and Jungkook inserts both fingers slowly, stretching you with ease. The feeling causes you to moan, as you’re too entranced by the pleasure. 
There’s something about the way Jungkook works with his fingers that almost sends you into orbit. The way he gently curls them, making them pet on your g-spot whenever he manages to get his fingers all the way inside. The way his thumb traces circles on your clit, increasing the feelings evoking. 
When you begin to feel overwhelmed, you grab onto Jungkook’s forearm, pressing down. Jungkook is even more determined to make you come, maintaining the same pace. 
You feel the familiar pit in your stomach, forming as time passes. Although, Jungkook has a lot more on his sleeve than just touching you. 
Being too focused on the thrill of the situation, you don’t notice Jungkook crouching down. It’s first when he replaces his thumb with his tongue that you’re aware of the what he’s doing. Your legs are shaking beside him, feeling yourself get much closer and Jungkook wants nothing more than to taste you. 
To his luck, your body shudders followed by a high pitched moan as you finish. Jungkook pecks your clit, before moving upwards to face you. Your breathing is uneven, your whole body warm and you’re smiling softly at him.  
When Jungkook pecks your lips, you take him by surprise, grabbing onto his cock through the material. He groans against your lips, astonished by your bold move. You don’t stop, pumping him while your tongues consume one another. 
Jungkook is already hard. He’s been ever since you laid beneath him, spreading your legs out for him. Even though Jungkook is enjoying your touch, he’s impatient. 
‘’Stay here.’’ Before you can even question anything, Jungkook runs out directly to his room. He quickly returns, with a condom in hand. When he’s about to lay down, you push both of his shoulders, making him land in an upright position. 
You straddle him, wrapping both arms around his neck. ‘’Come on big boy, show me what you got.’’ Maybe you’re saying this because you know Jungkook will absolutely fall into your trap and amaze you. 
‘’I’ll show you.’’ His gaze is intense, yet he’s already fiddling with his pants, desperate to get them off. You aren’t exactly helping, grinding down on the material of his pants, which gets him distracted. 
‘’Y/N, please.’’ You’re suppressing a smile, commanding either way and lifting your hips to help him get his pants off quicker. You aren’t exactly better yourself, wanting nothing more than for Jungkook to fuck you. 
Jungkook is quick on his feet, rolling the condom with ease before gently pressing into you. Your knees sink further down, inviting more of him in and the unfamiliar stretch feels pleasant. When your knees have sunk fully down, you take a moment to adapt. 
‘’Shit.’’ Jungkook moans, mind spinning at how nicely you wrap around him. 
You start bucking your hips, a hiss leaving your mouth as you ride him tenderly. 
‘’Fucking hell,’’ Jungkook curses, his eyes now roaming your body and how smoothly you move above him. He takes the chance of grabbing your ass tightly, making you jerk your hips out of the sudden control Jungkook is regaining. 
His eyes avert downwards, watching how your bodies dissolve and how he disappears inside of you. 
The movement of your hips slow down, your body still processing your orgasm from earlier which had somewhat made you exhausted. 
Jungkook helps you, grabbing onto your hips, leaving you to sit still while he bucks his hips at a much faster pace. Your moans are clogged, too stunned to process the feeling of his cock hitting your g-spot repeatedly. 
‘’Fuck—’’ You breathe out, clutching yourself onto Jungkook who isn’t slowing down. He’s surely showing you everything he’s got and you’re already close. 
With no warning, you tense above him, your orgasm washing over you, filling your body with warmth. Jungkook follows soon after, giving one last thrust as he moans against your neck. 
The both of you stay put, trying to regulate your breathing. 
‘’Was that good enough for you?’’ Jungkook asks between pants and you slap him lightly on the shoulder, because he knows it was better than good enough. 
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‘’Oh my god! Jungkook hurry!’’ You scream excitedly, still holding onto So-ah who’s standing on two feet, ready to take her first step. 
‘’Don’t let her walk!’’ Jungkook screams from the bathroom, finishing up his shower after his workout from earlier. You roll your eyes, holding tightly onto So-ah who’s trying to move out of your grasp to walk. 
Jungkook runs out quickly not long after, in only a towel because moments like these are rare and there’s no way he’s about to miss out on his daughter walking for the first time. 
‘’Okay, come here So-ah.’’ Jungkook kneels, spreading his arms open for his daughter and she screams softly, wobbling towards her dad but managing two steps in before Jungkook has to sweep her in. 
You clap excitedly at So-ah having taken her first step and you catch Jungkook’s eyes watering. 
‘’So-ah, you did it.’’ Jungkook kisses her on the cheek. 
Moments like these are only the beginning for the three of you, and you’re thrilled. 
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© jjkeverlast 2023 [do not copy, translate or repost any of my works]
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httpsbimbo · 4 months
Text
BLITZED — dealer!onyankopon
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001. c/w: smut (mdni), f!reader, smoking, petnames, cunnilingus, blowjob, cursing, penetration, slight overstim, mutual pinning modern!au
002. w/c: 2.7k
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After successfully finishing your shift at work, you glance over to the clock on the wall that sharply read ‘7:30’ in the afternoon. The other staff you work alongside aka the younger trainees in your hair salon that you hired were already out the door, you felt generous enough to let them off early due to it being a Friday.
Walking over to the spare mirror, you place your equipment down, taking time to fix your own wig.You wanted to look presentable to your dealer Onyankopon afterall, he’d compliment your wigs every time you’d buy from him. It brought a different type of a blush on your face no man has brought before, whenever he says “You look good ma, new color?”. Just thinking of it brought flutters to your stomach, fixing the rest of your appearance to what you’d been wearing today.
You smiled as you sufficiently finished you hair, humming as you picked up your work-tote bag before glancing at the clock again, only fifteen minutes had passed so you decided it’d be best not to keep Ony waiting any longer. He wasn’t a man of patience afterall.
You gathered your keys in your palm, walking over to your car while unlocking it, moving to gather up the money you owed for the eighth, getting ready to drive by your usual spot with him by one of the more deserted alley ways near your crib.
It wasn’t a far drive, making your way to the front of the ally way to park. You could feel your fingers tingling with excitement as you shut your car off, shutting the door behind you as you made way to the silhouette in the dimly lit space.
“You 20 mins late ma.” His husky voice echoed in the tight pathway with a sight of him smoking a blunt, low eyes staring you down that made you feel small. “My fault, had to fix my lace a bit Ony..” He paused as he took a hit, blowing the smoke away from your face before reaching in his pocket. You reached to hand him the money but he’d stop you before you got the chance.
“Nah, you get this one for free..” This caused you to pause, looking at him with almost a shell shocked gaze. “But you never do that, what's up with you lately?.”. He gave a low chuckle in response, the sound causing your ears to get hot as you squeezed on the handle of your bag just a little tighter. “Cause you look a little too good today.. Jus’ take it.” He held it out to you, hesitantly taking it to pocket it as you felt your thighs squeeze at his answer. He shouldn’t be making you react so.. stimulated. Ony must’ve noticed as well, reaching to hand you his blunt.
You took it, taking a long inhale as he watched you intently, licking his lips. You felt the red eyes peering down at you, only making you feel more giddy as you exhaled shortly after, the weed in your system making your mouth tingle as you took another puff, handing it back over. Your fingers slightly brushed as he took it back, not hesitating to take a puff of his own.
The air had a tension to it, yet you exhaled to speak. “You wanna do this in my car? You look goofy in this alleyway Ony..”. He let out a low chuckle at your words, placing his free-hand in his pocket while looking at you. “I’m down if you’re down.” Was all he said. Allowing you to lead him inside your car as he took another hit once the door closed. You felt nervous, butterflies in your stomach as you could smell the mixture of cannabis and cologne lingering off Ony that caused you to shuffle a bit in your seat, thighs clenching. “Here.” He handed the blunt to you, taking it as you took another puff. Feeling his hungry eyes gazing at you from the side, making you tremble, making you sweat.
“Whatchu’ nervous for ma?” he smiled, knowing the effect he had on you. That motherfucker. He almost folded when he saw your eyes starting to lower, glossed over eyes countering his gaze as you handed it back. “Cause you keep starin’ dickneck.” He laughed at this, licking his lips before finishing the rest of the blunt while you reached to crack the window ever so slightly.
Ony tipped his head back, adam's apple in full view of the streetlight that kissed his skin so beautifully. You took this time to stare at him, studded earrings complimenting the hat he wore. He was handsome, his tatted arms showing out in his white tee. It made your mouth dry, reaching in your pocket to reapply your lip gloss, oblivious to Ony side eyeing you like a starved man.
“Jus’ got off your shift? Got that eager to see me, huh?”, “Not too much, I just wanted my shit before I spent my money.”, “Rightt.. Jus' say you’re excited to see me.” He sounded almost cocky, leaning over the console to get a better look at your face. Your breath hitched, a glance at his lips before you looked into his eyes. A hand creeping to your thigh as you both felt the weed get further in your system. “Can I kiss you?” He murmured as if he was holding himself back. You could only let out a nod before he smashes his lips against yours, a small moan as your lipgloss smeared against his two-toned lips. You felt yourself crawling across to straddle yourself on his lap, firm hands on your sides as you both deepened the kiss, tongue running on your bottom lip.
Once you pulled away you looked at him licking his lips, checking you out before looking back into your eyes with a hazy smile. It made you feel small, moving a sleeve as an attempt to cover your face yet Ony wasn’t having it, gently gripping your wrist. “Nah, lemme see that pretty face.. been thinking about you too much ma” He smiled, moving to leave gentle kisses along your jawline, down to your collarbone causing a small jump, “Ony-”. Your scent felt intoxicating to him, making him only want to continue to stir you on.
Your nails snaked up his white tee, feeling his abs tense at the cold feeling of your hands against him while he gave pecks on your neck. “Ony please.. more.” was all you had to utter, Ony moving quickly to place you on the backseat, following afterwards. “What can I do to make you feel good?” He stared at you, “I wanna make you feel good.” His words make you melt, gripping his shoulders as you stare at him. “Surprise me..”. The words were enough to have him gently pushing you back, kneeling on the floor of your car as he was slotted between your legs. “Can I make you feel good ma?” You nodded, helping him pull down your sweatpants. Ony swore he fell in love with your scent as he smelt you closer, moving a teasing finger to the small damp spot on your panties. You let out a small whimper, peering down at the man in awe as he kept teasing you while you rested your legs on his shoulders.
The weed calmed your nerves, normally you’d be nervous to the point you couldn’t even stare but you watched as he pulled your panties slowly, direct eye contact as he kept a smile with his pearly whites that only stirred you on more. “Lemme prep you, want my fingers or mouth?” He waited for a response, hot breath right where you wanted him most, “Mouth- please Ony i’m tired of the teasing..” You mustered out as he gave a low laugh before reaching to pepper your inner thighs with kisses.
You couldn’t help but make out small whimpers in response, biting the inner part of your cheek out of excitement due to you wanting him for so long. “Ony plea-“ you didn’t get to finish your sentence, the man diving between your legs you lay his tongue flat and lick a swipe directly on your pussy. Letting out a moan even you were embarrassed by, the man would laugh, sending vibrations right by your clit.
He took a moment to breathe, laughing a bit at your body’s reaction to him. “That eager for me ma? Shitt… that turns me on.” He was so filthy with his words, causing your face to heat up more than you even thought was possible at this moment. However Ony wouldn’t waste any time going back down on you, tonguing your pussy as a thumb reached up to circle your clit slowly to make you moan just how he liked it, your sounds going straight to the tent in his pants. “Fuckfuckfuck-“ Was all you could utter as he tongue fucked you, building up to the familiar pressure you’d feel in your lower stomach everytime you got horny thinking of him. 
You huffed for air from how good he ate you, tapping his arm that was wrapped around your thighs as a warning you were about to cum. “Jus’ like that baby, cum on my tongue.” He encouraged, coil in your belly snapping as you came on his face to earn a satisfied groan while he helped you through your orgasm. Falling from that high, Ony sat up and you’d be met with the lower half of his face lathered in your juices with his eyes looking darker, and not just from the weed.
“Fuck.. that was hot.” He almost laughed as he looked at your expression, tears welling in your eyes from how he made you feel. “You’re dangerous.. can’t get you outta’ my head.” Now grabbing a hand so you could feel how hard he was in his gray sweats. You almost gasped at how big he felt, your expression making him smile as he licked his lips. “You can take it out, see what you do to me?” He teased as he watched you rub on his print, earning a low groan from him.
You made eye contact with him while taking his cock out, practically twitching as it felt the cold air against it. You couldn’t help but stare at his pretty cock, a slight curve to the right with not much length but for sure enough girth to it. A pretty vein laying on the underside of his dick. Not being able to stop yourself, you let a line of drool drop onto his tip, using it to properly stroke him off. “Fuck ma- jus’ like that, stroke this dick..”. His head tipping back as you slowly moved your hand.
His breathing became more uneven, a tense grab of your wrist to stop you as he took a moment. “Didn’t wanna cum just from your jerking my dick.. got a condom? I wanna be inside you so bad..” He sounded desperate as he watched you sit up, reaching in the pocket behind the driver's seat to achieve a condom.
He watched you as you unraveled it down his shaft, now moving to lift you as he swapped your positioning. He’d be seated in the middle seat of the row while you straddled him, clit a few centimeters away from his dick. It made you eager, desperate to get some friction you tried to grind against him. “Hollon’ baby, lemme make you ready right quick..”. A hand moving to your clit to have you let out your little whimpers.
After he found that’d been enough, he gripped your hips as you attempted to lower yourself into his cock, a small whimper of pain as he reassured you. “Doin’ so good fa’ me ma, it’ll fit, just go slow.” Is all he kept repeating as you finally sat on his dick. You couldn’t help but feel a pain, Ony lifting your head with a finger on your chin to kiss you.
The kiss was less eager this time, using this as a way to calm your nerves to help subside the pain.”You ready?” You could only nod but Ony wasn’t fucking with that. “Words ma, ion wanna make you feel forced..” The simple statement made your chest flutter, allowing you to provide a “Yes..” as he lifted you off. You could feel yourself seeing stars once he slammed you back onto his cock, an almost pornographic moan escaping your lips as he gave you slow but hard strokes in the backseat of your own car.
“Fuck! Ony-“ You placed a hand on his lower abdomen as he kept giving you long strokes, the other attempting to cover your mouth in fear someone might walk past and hear. But Ony didn’t like that, his hand moving yours away, his movements a little messier. “Fuck.. nah lemme hear you baby, I- fuckin’ like hearing how you like this dick.” Tension in his words as he kept thrusting, your pussy practically sucking him in each time he went back.
You both couldn’t contain the noises that’d erupt from your mouths, Ony speeding up and rubbing your clit once you started getting too quiet. “Ngh..Fuck!” Was all you could utter out till he felt you squeezing him. “Nah nah- fuck that-“ He stopped as he was huffing for air, a whine escaping your lips. “Why’d you stopp-“, “Gotta fuck you at a better angle ma.” Wasting no time to lay you on your back as he put your right leg on his shoulder, the stretch making your leg hurt ever so slightly.
Before you could complain he started pounding into you again, this new position being more overwhelming due to it allowing him to hit your g-spot in each motion. “Ony-OnyOny-“ Was the only thing you could chant, making him go faster with a crushing grip on your hips. It wasn’t until he felt you clench around him again that he felt close to cumming, a small chuckle, “Gonna milk my dick, right ma?”. Looking at your fucked out expression as you nodded eagerly. “Go on, cum on this dick. Show me how good I make you feel.” Ony grinned as he sped up, feeling as you came on him and watching as your back arches and your face scrunched as a result. He kept thrusting as you went through your high, yet didn’t stop once you started to feel overstimulated.
“Onyyyy-“ You whined as he still went, the feeling making you twitch. “You treat me so good ma, this pussy.. so- good.” He sped up even more upon feeling his own orgasm rising, huffing for air each thrust. It continued until you dug your nails into his arm, a groan as he came into the condom, still able to feel his warm seed as he pulled out.
He started taking off his condom, showing off his cum-covered tip that you couldn’t help but move closer to grip his cock again. He was still overstimulated, so when you started to give kittenish licks to his tip he almost lost it, a loud whimper erupting from his chest as he gripped your hair. “Baby- fuck.. i’m sensitive still- wait-“. Yet you kept going, taking the tip in your mouth as you reached down to massage his balls, the feeling almost making him pass out.
“F-fuck- keep going- please-..” He murmured as he gripped your hair tighter, one more teasing lick away from going crazy. Once you did try to keep teasing him, he pushed you down further till your nose met with the pattern of hair he had on his crotch. Earning a gag from you, he let out a moan, practically humping your face like a dog on heat.
He kept at this till he felt himself getting closer, struggling to ask,”F-fuck where do you want it?” he managed to utter as he took you off momentarily. “Mouth-“ His eyes rolled back at the response and the sight of drool dropping off your chin, quickly thrusting back in your mouth as he let out groans. He slammed it to the back of your throat once he came, his seed flooding your mouth with a bitter taste.
Opening your mouth, you showed proof of swallowing his cum, his lidded eyes looking at your face.
“So.. wanna go out wimme?”
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diejager · 2 months
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Hi! I'm not sure if you're still doing/taking requests for the monster!141 au anymore so feel free to just ignore this if you aren't! 😊
But if u are can I request a drabble/headcanon about venom!hunter? I'm curious about the dynamic between them (venom & hunter) and how they got along and worked together (i don't really know how to phrase it🥲) when they first met.
Also how did they first met? How does venom get along with 141? I'm not sure if u already wrote about it.
Venom!reader headcanon
Cw: blood, gore, cannibalism?, canon-typical violence, tell me if I missed any. Wc: 898
Your meeting with Venom was an accident, a coincidence culminated from horrible events, you weren’t supposed to separate from your squad and he wasn’t supposed to die in the body of an incompatible vessel. It was a moment of shame and disgrace, making the simplest mistake one could do in your positions, but everything had a reason, no? Because you found Venom and he found you, he was your way back and you were his compatible vessel.
It was… difficult at first, sharing one mind and body with someone else took some time. A lot of time. It was a struggle of push and pull, your calm waters and his violent storm. While you preferred to stray from trouble, Venom loved it, actively seeking it out whenever he had control of your body. There was a lot of fighting, internal struggles and bickering back and forth, but you eventually came to an understanding —common ground. 
If he let you live your life - a dangerous one filled with blood and violence, still a young private in the army without any achievements and with big dreams - have monopoly over your body whenever you were off the field, you’d relinquish your key on his cage whenever he was hungry while you were fighting, letting his loose to run his rampage and fill his stomach with the heads of enemies. 
It was a relationship built on mutual respect, you for his determination and him for you strength. You understood one another, so your occasional disagreement grew rarer and rarer. You didn’t fight about feeding him only chocolate because you couldn’t stomach the sight of bitten heads. You didn’t fight about wanting excitement when times were too quiet. You didn’t fight when you wanted a few moments of silence in your mind. And you didn’t fight whenever you felt him poke his head out of your sleeve.
This symbiotic relationship only meant that you;d grow closer to each other, he got to know you on a fundamental level and you got to discover more and more about his past and dreams —he had a few wild ones, but all attainable. You shared your fears, your secrets and your pains, you laughed when he stammered after your promise to protect him, his blubbering words and growls sent your way when he said that he would be the one to do the protecting. His reasoning being that he was bigger, stronger and more dangerous than you and your little explosive weapons. 
It was from then on that he called you Little One, a slip of his tongue while you laughed and kicked your legs at his flustered face, his head reaching from your shoulder to glare at you. He acted like a love sick puppy afterwards, often calling out to you when he was bored, nudging your arm while you worked, wanting pets and kisses, or would shower you with loud and boisterous affection. Though he always proclaimed it to be him providing for you, it wasn’t affection - no - it was him watching over you like a guardian —or so he mumbled. 
He would step in if he deemed a situation too dangerous for your fragile, fleshy body. He’d warn you, let you know where and who was coming for you, be it a sniper from a mile away or a group of armed soldiers sneaking around you. If you couldn’t deal with it in time, Venom would forcefully push his way out of you, covering you in a protective layer of his body, the mass of muscle and sinewy cords building a protective shell. And fortunately, it’s only happened when you were hidden away, the knowledge of Venom’s existence would bring unwanted attention to both you and him, none of which were good. 
You met Venom before your study and test for the rank of combat medic, getting his support and mind to help you through it all, his photogenic memory, his talented hands and strength. It was only after earning you new rank, did Laswell contact you for the position on the Task Force 141 since your record held no sign of hateful acts towards monsters and hybrids, and your high success score. 
You both vowed to keep Venom a secret from anyone, he was off the record in every sense, unknown and a mystery, a variant that you were adamant to keep a secret. Venom didn’t… hate the men, he might’ve had a small dislike for their attraction and affection towards you, he was a possessive and protective symbiote, but seeing how you were a permanent fixture in the TF, he was forced to tolerate them. He would let you know what he heard and sensed from them, small secrets he caught or fun, little pranks that he wanted to do, and occasionally protect them. Only because you cared for them, he’d hate to see you sad and worried, Venom preferred seeing you smile and laugh. 
And following these events, Venom could openly interact with the hybrids, unafraid since it wasn’t a secret anymore. He was a bit reluctant, but slipped from your collar whenever someone mentioned something he liked: chocolate, human meat, you or violence, grinning maniacally and flashing his big, white teeth. Despite his apprehension, Venom was a menace, to them as much as he was with you, and yet you still loved him so much. 
Taglist: @craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @angelcakes-22 @ramadiiiisme @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @im-making-an-effort @love-dove-nooraa @jinxxangel13 @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mul-pi @danielle143 @beau-min @makayla-666 @urfavsunkissedleo @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @luvecarson @petwifed @randominstake @heartelysia @jggykhug09090 @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @call-me-nyxx @sans-chara @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @thigh-o-saur @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami @cassiecasluciluce
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carooosa · 4 months
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Pleasurable Feelings
Word count: 900 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Astarion x Tav/Reader Warnings: 18+, mutual masturbation, soft dom Astarion AO3 link: Pleasurable Feelings
Summary: After the tiefling party, you're pent up and decide to please yourself, not aware of the vampire that lurks nearby.
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It had been a few days after the tiefling party – a few days after your night with Astarion. He had always made flirtatious remarks here and there, but after that night those remarks seemed to multiply tenfold. He would find ways to subtly touch your back or whisper sweet nothings into your ear. 
His new attention to you had spurred mixed feelings to develop. You convinced yourself that you were merely still aroused by that night and needed to let off some steam. After that, you would surely get over this little crush you had. You waited until nightfall and the rest of your companions had fallen asleep. Astarion had fed on some bandits earlier today, so surely he wouldn’t need to feed on you tonight. 
As you settle on your bedroll, you think back to that night with Astarion. How he had pleased your body. He had treated you like royalty, catering to your every need. Whenever you would try to please him, he had brushed you off. He said that the night was all about you and that you could take care of him at another time. 
You weren’t sure when exactly there would be free time for another midnight rendezvous, and quite frankly you weren’t sure having another would bode well with your complicated feelings. So, you resolve to take care of yourself. You begin masturbating, thinking of his hands on your body, his voice in your ear. And his scent, his lovely scent. You feel as if you can smell it clearly now, enveloping your senses as you moan your lover's name.
“Yes, love?” Astarion says with a smirk on his face as he stands at the entrance to your tent. 
Your eyes jolt open. You can’t even begin to imagine how utterly debauched you look to him, your clothes flung off to the side and your underwear at your ankles. Your bra is pushed off to the side as you grasp your breast in one hand, the other hand stimulating your clit while curling two of your fingers inside you. Sweat is dripping down your body and your tent is suffocating with the scent of your arousal.
“No need to stop for me,” Astarion says as he saunters over to you. There’s a mischievous look in his eyes that causes a rush of heat to pool in your core. You stay still, unsure of his intentions. He tuts, “You need to finish what you’ve started.” He kneels beside you as one of his hands works its way over to your hand that’s still inside you, before gently placing his hand over yours. He pushes your fingers deeper inside and you let out a moan.
He begins to pump both your fingers and his inside of you. He leans down toward your chest to place soft kisses over your body, nipping at your skin in between each kiss. He slowly moves his way up to your bare breast and begins to lick the nipple. You buck your hips forward, and he growls, pushing you back down onto your bedroll. He sucks on your nipple, staring directly into your eyes.
“Keep touching yourself, my love,” he projects into your mind with the tadpole. 
You shakily start to grope your other breast again, breathy moans escaping you. He lightly bites down on the tit in his mouth, his tongue flicking your nipple at the same time. You feel yourself on the precipice right as he quickly moves away from you. 
“Keep going,” he commands. You continue to touch your body as you watch him hastily strip off his trousers and boxers, his length fully erect from helping you please yourself. He kneels back down beside you, grasping his cock in his hands. 
He begins to pump. “Look me in the eyes, Tav.” You stare at his cock, transfixed at the way he’s furiously tugging, watching as precum beads at the tip. 
“I said, look me in the eyes,” he growls, his voice slightly strained. You quickly glance up at him, panting heavily as you begin to reach your peak again. As your legs shake, your eyes automatically close. You feel and hear Astarion move on top of you, straddling your stomach. He presses his forehead into yours as he commands, yet again. 
“Look me in the eyes when you cum. Think only of me as your ecstasy overwhelms you.” 
With what little concentration you can muster, you open your eyes right as your body releases. You’re gasping for air, and Astarion takes that as a chance to shove his tongue into your mouth, kissing you passionately as he tightens his grip on his cock, pumping faster than before. His free hand finds your breast and he pinches your sensitive nipple. You moan into his mouth and buck your hips up, pushing him over the edge. His kissing slows as he cums over your body. When he’s done, he releases your mouth with a sigh. 
“Good Tav,” he whispers as he kisses your ear lobe. You can’t help but whimper, knowing full well that this exchange has only complicated your feelings towards the vampire even more.
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heesdreamer · 1 month
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IN MY ROOM
PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader
WARNINGS ➩ none really, unresolved angst and one sided heartbreak
WC ➩ 2.6k
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Normally I don’t write small drabbles but obsessed with this song and wanted to do something for it. No full fic for this or part 2 sorry it’s supposed to hurt! I highly suggest listening while listening or beforehand since it’s fully inspired by the lyrics and vibe
I like when it's dark out, October will cure me
I'm walking these woods, am I thirty or thirteen?
The size of your heart seemed to grow and shrink with the seasons, always fluttering and aching depending on the shade of the trees and sometimes it felt like it got quiet all together.
You figured out a long time ago that the actual shape of it and your anatomy wasn’t changing and instead you were just an over emotional person (if there was such a thing). Your mother blamed it on your father being a writer, saying you inherited his soul and his passion for pouring all of his love into every little thing with the hopes something worth putting to paper would appear in return.
You didn’t write like he did but you did often find yourself overthinking the journey of tree roots and being curious about how building a proper nest weighed on a birds confidence.
It was a lot easier to fall inlove with everything than to tune the world out and that didn’t fall short of affecting the way you interacted with the people around you.
The way you loved your friends wasn’t always romantic but you had a deep connection to all of them and a mental list of all their habits and cute quirks like the way Wonyoung covered her mouth when she laughed hard and the raise of Riki’s eyebrow whenever he was curious about something.
You loved Heeseung in a different way.
Your heart was heavy as you walked through the tree covered trail that led to your house, knowing once you started thinking of him it was nearly impossible to stop.
In your defense, he seemed to have that affect on a lot of people.
There was just something undeniably charged about Heeseung and the way he interacted with the world around him. He was ever confident in a natural way that didn’t have a hint of arrogance and his gentle nature struck you hard the first time you met him when you were 13 and he had just turned 14.
You became close friends after getting partnered for a school project and your heart was soaring when he kept talking to you even after you’d turned in the essay and gotten a low B.
He was bestfriends with basically everybody he interacted with but you couldn’t help feeling special when you kept getting closer and closer and your friendship started to actually hold some weight instead of just having surface level conversations in between class lectures.
The cold fall chill ripped through your sweater right as your mood started to sour and you shook your head free from the thoughts of him or at least as free as you could.
Not asking for much, man, thought maybe you'd call me
I slit my own throat just to see if you'd mourn me
“He really hasn’t said a single thing to you? Like not even something random and completely unrelated to his absolute betrayal?”
You rolled your eyes and sighed at the dramatic exaggeration of Wonyoung’s statement but she was right to be upset on your behalf considering you had a hard time being mad at him yourself.
Your sigh continued as you rolled onto your back and tugged the phones chord as tight as possible so it reached further on your bed, nearly coming off the wall with how hard you were stretching the old elastic.
“He’s waved at me in the halls but I can’t talk to him.” Your voice was muffled just from how much you didn’t want to admit the extent of which this bothered you.
You weren’t at all exaggerating, you really couldn’t bring yourself to talk to Heeseung ever since he had casually announced on his MySpace that he was now in a relationship with one of your more casual mutual friends. He hadn’t told you beforehand that he even had feelings for her and you felt completely ridiculous for thinking he held you as close to his heart as you did for him.
Even your friend group had been thrown off by the news considering everybody followed the silent understanding that you and him were more than friends.
You’d rolled your eyes the few times they’d brought it up, both in light teasing or genuinely trying to pry and get you to answer their burning questions about your relationship.
You never fulfilled their curiosity for a multitude of reasons but mainly because you had no idea what you and Heeseung were exactly. You liked him more than you’d ever liked somebody in your life and your face turned red whenever you saw him smile or felt his hand brushing against yours under the lunch table but he’d never said anything to you about it.
His feelings might’ve seemed obvious to somebody who didn’t know him, figuring you were dating the second he wrapped his arm around you or ordered your food without checking what you wanted since he already had your preferences memorized.
But that was just who Heeseung was and you were no stranger to that.
He was overly caring and involved with everyone he met and he could make somebody he’d met seconds ago seem like they were best buddies from kindergarten. He definitely had a sweet spot for you but there was no real evidence that it extended past platonic admiration.
You were overwhelmingly glad now you’d never been stupid enough to tell your friends you were together before confirming it considering his abrupt new relationship that completely shattered your view on what you’d been to him.
Clearly you’d misread the signals the entire time and the two of you were just friends but the more you thought about it, the more angry you got. Not at Heeseung because your heart strictly forbid you for ever thinking negatively about the boy but just at the entire situation and the lack of understanding from both sides.
It wasn’t friendly when he stared into your eyes with the waves crashing behind you and your friends laughing somewhere in the distance. Not at all platonic when he was taking your hand in his at the school dance and ignoring the dozens of eyes staring at him, waiting for a turn.
They never got it because he spent the entire night spinning you in his arms and complimenting your dress and hair.
You weren’t confused when he laid in your bed after his parents threw a fit about his new piercing, his head on your stomach and his voice a whisper when he told you that you were the only person who understood him.
“You’re my person and I’ve never felt like that with anybody before so it freaks me out sometimes.” His eyes didn’t stray from the blank spot on your ceiling and yours stayed locked on the bruise forming around the new piece of middle inside his eyebrow. “I couldn’t think of anybody else I wanted to run to.”
“Is that a bad thing? Wanting to come to me?” Your fingers smoothed over the piercing and he winced a little because of how fresh it was but you didn’t move your touch away, just lessening the pressure you were applying.
“It’s only bad because how much it consumes me sometimes.”
You didn’t ask him to explain what he had meant that day because you figured you knew but apparently you were somehow wrong.
“Y/N? Earth to Y/N, are you still there?” Your friends voice over the line was bringing you back to reality and you assured her you hadn’t left before asking her to repeat whatever it is she had said. “I said that he was totally wrong to do that to you, we all think so.”
For some reason the thought of your friends seeing the same thing as you didn’t make you feel any better.
It actually made you want to curl into a ball ten times worse because you couldn’t blame it on your rose colored glasses if the closest people to you also felt like something was blossoming between the two of you. Your confusion in his abrupt relationship only made you feel sicker and sicker.
I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time
I stalk myself on the internet just to see what you'll find
I want your things in my room, I miss you all of the time
You make it look so easy, leaving everything behind
Two weeks had passed since Heeseung posted the photo of him and Aubrey with his relationship status being changed right afterwards, glaring harshly at you on your home computers wavering screen.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you studied his expression underneath the grainy edgy filter he applied to it, eyes tracing the squint of his eyes as he smiled brightly and her lips pressed against his cheeks.
He looked happy and that somehow made you feel even sicker.
You wondered if he hadn’t told you about it because he feared your reaction or if he possibly couldn’t bring himself to silently end whatever it was that you felt towards each other. It hurt more than it might’ve a few years ago because you’d finally begun to feel like the two of you were on the same page, managing to be mutually single and interested at the same moment for the first time in all your years of pining.
A dozen near misses were finally leading to something big and concrete.
Or at least you thought so until you logged onto your MySpace account and saw his post, the same one you were glaring at now.
You hadn’t posted anything since you cut off communication with him but you couldn’t help yourself from checking your page and scrolling down it, curious if he’d be concerned over your silence if he ever went to see what you’d been doing with his absence. Maybe he hoped you’d be posting sad song lyrics or actively breaking down on his feed but instead you’d gone completely cold.
It was the only option in your mind considering you never were able to be normal when it came to Heeseung.
The sight of his hoodie on your bed or his left over guitar picks and crumbled up pieces of paper with random doodles scattered around your room was enough to bring you to tears and settle a sick feeling in your gut so you couldn’t imagine trying to sit and type out a post that would read as normal. Perfectly fine and not obsessing over who your friend was dating.
You told yourself that you were mainly caught up on the specifics of it because he hadn’t bothered to tell you about it.
It was worse to find out from a simple post over him sitting you down and letting you know but instead your entire world crumpled with every comment and heart from people who didn’t know him outside of passing him in the halls.
They didn’t know him during those late nights and they didn’t know the way his heart beat harder whenever you brushed your fingers through his hair or met his eyes in a crowded room. The faceless usernames had no idea there was somebody out there absolutely shattering at this simple ‘in a relationship’ post.
You groaned into your hands and shut the computer down without bothering to close his blogs tab, knowing you’d be opening it first thing tomorrow regardless.
You look so cool getting high
No handlebars, you wanna fly
You look so cool, I wanna die
Is it too soon to say what on my mind?
“Hope you brought some bandaids.” His voice was wobbly as he circled around you and you laughed softly at his clear fearfulness, the sound muffled by the straw of your slushy that was clutched between your knees.
“For when you inevitably eat shit?”
He laughed at your bluntness and the action almost caused him to do exactly that, the bike wheel rapidly twisted on the rugged gravel and nearly sending him straight into the rocky parking lot he was currently riding handless around.
One of his hands was occupied with his own extra large slushy from the gas station near you and the other was holding a small joint that was nearly smoked out of existence. You had hated when Heeseung started to smoke and you spent the last few years complaining about the smell of his clothes and scolding you when he left the scent on your pillows.
You’d never tell him that you slowly got used to it, almost liking it as it blended easily with his signature cologne and his naturally aroma that you found yourself leaning into whenever you had a few feet between you.
He rarely smoked infront of you once he realized you genuinely didn’t like it and you were just nagging at him but today was the exception.
Heeseung had turned eighteen today and while your friends had begged and begged him to either throw a party or let them do it in his honor, he had strongly declined. You had been confused considering he was shy to partying and it would definitely be one of the bigger events of the year with how many people would love to gather and get drunk in the honor of Heeseung.
Your confusion was lost when he wrapped himself around your back, arms circling your middle and casually telling your friends he’d rather spend the night hanging out with you like it didn’t completely uproot your existence whenever he said things like that.
You didn’t even doubt the honesty of his answer, genuinely knowing he had more fun in this dirty parking lot with cheap slushees and your company than he would’ve at a huge rager.
“What do I get if I don’t fall?” He was smiling at you as he rounded back into your point of view but he was behind you again before he could see the way your own lips turned up. “Doesn’t that call for a prize?”
“A prize? What would you want?” You watched his eyebrows raised like he was in deep thought and you laughed at the absurdity of him disappearing back behind you as he continued to ride his bikes in circles around you. You didn’t like riding bikes as much as he did but last summer he’d painted a pair of pegs pink for you, sticking them to his otherwise blacked out frame and smiling proudly.
It was something you’d rolled your eyes at and you’d given him a quick thankful kiss on the cheek but you secretly loved standing behind him as he rode you around, hands on his shoulders and the wind blowing through your hair.
You especially loved how happy he was to show you that he’d done it, something that would make you more comfortable when you rode together.
He was humming like he was deep in thought and you waited patiently with your chin resting in your hand, smile bright on your face at his theatrical responses.
“If I don’t fall…. you let me stay at your place tonight.”
Your heart was already starting to beat out of your chest at the soft request and the way his voice got lower like he was waiting for you to reject him. Both of your reactions were ridiculous considering he’d spent the night at your house dozens of times and was over more than he went home but he always asked beforehand.
Something you liked because then it always gave you the opportunity to tell him that he was welcomed.
“I figured that was the plan anyways.” You took a large drink of your slushy after letting the words fall out more casual than you felt and he pressed on the brakes when he was in front of you this time, a wide smile still on his face and genuine easiness radiating off of him.
“You sure know how to make a birthday special.” He was so beautiful when he said that and the way he looked at you made you feel like he genuinely meant what he was saying even if he was just making a joke about your rather simple nature.
Telling him you love him was heavy on your mind and even heavier on your tongue and it took almost everything inside of you not to just blurt it out and accept the brute force of whatever his reaction might be without any preparation. You wanted him to know that his birthday was special, you needed him to know that you loved him and that you wanted to spend every year like this no matter how old you got.
Instead you took another sip of your slushy and let him ride around you until his tire gave out and he was landing on the gravel with a laugh that inspired your own.
You hadn’t know then that you were currently experiencing his birthday with the two of you for the last time and you wondered now if you would have told him back then if you had known. Would it have made a difference or was he always fated to leave?
Did your love story really end with a simple post from his end and the smell of smoke ever fading from the smooth fabric of your pillow cases or was this all some large twisted joke from the universe, one last test of your affection towards each other before you finally stopped nearly missing.
You tried your best to stop thinking about it and him and all the little things he’d left in your room.
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xervn · 2 months
Text
like a french girl 🎨
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part 3 - french girl | art major ellie x dance major reader
last chapter | next chapter
ao3 link
summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.
18+ MDNI | 3.8k words | slow burn(?), mutual pining, loser ellie, recreational drug use (weed)
a/n: this took so long because im an intp AND a taurus *makes excuses for myself* also tysm to everyone who commented on the last chapter ur amazing and ily ♥
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Ellie’s in nothing but her underwear, legs criss-crossed on her navy comforter; holding a joint between her lips as she tunes the strings of her maple wood guitar. It’s a lazy Saturday, the one day out of seven where Ellie isn’t constantly tormented by homework and art projects.
These days are practically therapeutic for her. Being able to strum her fingers against the nylon strings and relish in the relaxing, skunky smell of cannabis can fix all of her problems. Minus one, of course: getting to know you better. 
For now, she’s at peace with doing nothing, that is until a loud ding goes off and the brightness of her phone flashbangs her otherwise dim-lit room. She scowls, exhaling a puff from her lungs as she reaches over for the device. Ellie has friends, but she’s no social butterfly. Her phone is usually dry, especially on weekends. Jesse is definitely with Dina, so unless it's serious; there’s no reason for her to be getting a text. 
Naturally, her scowl deepens when she reads that the number is unknown. 
???: hii
ellie: wrong number
She opts to toss her phone away, but the next message throws her off track. 
you: it’s — !
Ellie’s eyes widen at her screen like your name is a hypnotic spiral. She can feel her heart swelling well within her chest, and she’s left wondering if the weed she’s smoking is laced or if she somehow manifested you. Ellie quickly transfers her blunt in one hand and her phone in the other, straining her thumb trying to type as fast as she can to you. 
ellie: oh hdy! 
ellie: hey*
you: dina gave me ur number, i hope that’s okay 
ellie: yeah ofc it is :-)
ellie: i was planning on giving it to you
Ellie typed that half-lie slowly, weighing how true it really was as she pressed send. It was on her plan of things she’d like to do before dying, but even then she doesn’t think she would ever gain the courage. 
you: oh thank god
you: i thought i might be intruding 🙁
ellie: never, what’s up?
you: can i ask you something?
ellie: yes of course aks me anythign
ellie: ask* anything* shut sorry
ellie: SHIT
you: lmao are you okay??
ellie: yeah… forget about that, ask away
you: well i was wondering if you could help me study? im failing my anatomy class..
you: if u can’t it’s okay though!
A sheepish grin spreads across Ellie’s face, as she thinks about all the scenarios that could lead to. To think she’d finally have an excuse to see you after weeks of hoping, of praying for the opportunity. You asked her for help instead of taking other options, especially considering how much easier it would’ve been for you to. 
ellie: its no problem, id be glad to help :-)
you: really?? ur a lifesaver els, tysmm
you: when are you free?
ellie: Right now.
ellie: or whenever .
you: let’s meet at the library in 20?
Almost instantly, Ellie’s excitement warps into anxiety. She wasn’t particularly ready to see you and twenty minutes doesn’t seem like nearly enough time to get her shit together. She thought you’d ignore her impulsive desperation of “right now” and set plans for a later date, but, alas, you didn’t.
Ellie rubs her forehead with her blunt holding hand, trying to scratch the itch of her worries away with just her pinky and thumb. Despite her increasing knowledge of you over the past few weeks, she was still incredibly nervous to be around you. 
Ellie takes one final hit of her joint before snuffing it out in a doob tube on her nightstand. She sets her guitar against her bed and nearly falls off trying to get up in a rush, even though she has more than enough time to get ready. 
She stumbles around the room to put something on, settling with a gray hoodie and a pair of jeans. She attempts to keep her balance as she hastily shoves each leg through her pants; simultaneously eyeing around her room in an attempt to remember where exactly she put her anatomy textbooks. 
Ellie hears a familiar ding from her bed and she snaps towards it to pick up her phone, peering at the screen.
you: ellie?
Ellie curses under her breath, scolding herself for forgetting to text you back. She taps on the keyboard, quickly making sure she doesn’t manage another typo before hitting send.
ellie: sorry! yeah i’ll see you in twenty!
you: awesome :) 
You weren’t ready to see Ellie either, you figured, since it took you hours to actually text her. You made up far-fetched scenarios with the worst outcomes; the one where she immediately deletes your number tormented you for quite a while. Now you’re trudging across campus to meet her, internally at war with your mixed emotions. On one hand you get to hang out with a cute girl and on the other you’re hanging out with a really cute girl. Alone. Zero friends around. 
There’s a chance you two might not have anything to talk about. You guys are only mutual friends after all. Even if you guys somehow manage to start a conversation, what if she comes to not like you by the end of it, or vice versa? Not to mention the window incident you’re both hoping the other forgot. 
You hesitate in your steps as you reach the library doors. It’d only take a few seconds to spin around and walk back, but how could you leave her there? You thoughtlessly chew on your lip, eyes worriedly shifting around. 
You can’t recall any moment you’ve been so anxious about meeting up with a girl before. Not once, not even in a distant memory. You’ve always been the bolder one in your endeavors. The fact that Ellie is the only girl to make you feel this way has to mean something. You slowly pace in front of the doors in an attempt to dissipate your worries, nodding to your inner thoughts and ignoring the probable concerned stares in the distance. You’re the one who invited her, so you’re gonna stick it the fuck through. You couldn’t bail before testing the waters, you’d never forgive yourself.
So you barge into the building, letting the cool air hit your face from the swinging doors; granting you a waft of leather and drying ink. The building was decorated with freakishly tall dark wood bookshelves; so high, there were beige ladders in place to reach the top shelves. As expected, it was quiet, empty and definitely overfunded. Studying has never been your forte and you’ve never stepped in this building; save for a few dance history books. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case for everyone else. Thankfully, one pro definitely outweighs those cons. Ellie was going to help you study. Ellie is the reason you’re here at all.
You tidy up your outfit that you diligently put together and roam farther into the library, trying to hold down a smile that’s impossible to hold down. In fact, it completely takes over your face. You need to simmer down your giddiness before you start skipping around. You purse your lips and briefly steady your eyes on the dark, olive carpeted floor ahead of you. 
You head towards the front desk that’s just a sunken step away with the intention of asking for directions to the study hall. An older lady is sitting there, glowering with obvious annoyance definitely because of your loud entry. It’s been ages since you’ve been in the library— your failing grade proves that— and clearly you’ve forgotten all the rules with it.
A flash of guilt passes through you and you force an apologetic smile. She returns it with a grunt and you immediately redirect yourself further into the library; aimlessly in search for the study hall. 
-
You’ve been walking around for a solid five minutes and you swear you’ve passed the same fantasy section a million times now. It’d be smart to text Ellie and tell her you’ll be late, but your ego won’t let you. 
The looming large, ornate bookshelves certainly don’t make it any easier for you to navigate around.
The question of why the school spent so much money on all this occupies your mind as you venture further. You make a turn around a corner you’ve definitely made before, and you sigh at the familiarity of the area in front of you. 
You keep pressing forward anyway, hoping you can manage a new route this time around.
Before you can make another turn, you’re interrupted by drowned footsteps behind you blending into your own, followed by a tap on your shoulder. You flinch at the sudden touch, sharply turning around only to see Ellie looking at you with a downward smile. 
“Lost?” She sarcastically presumes, her viridescent eyes taking in your shocked yet relieved expression. 
You fiddle with the straps of your backpack between your fingers, shyly glancing around you. “No, I was just… looking for more textbooks.” You nod sagely at your own words, as if you’re trying to convince yourself too.
“Oh? Next to—“ The auburn-haired girl squints at the shelf behind you before adorning a wide grin, “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets?” 
Your brows raise and you follow her eyes onto the obviously fiction-filled bookcase. “Uh, yeah? I’ve got Professor Snape at four.” 
Ellie narrows her eyes at you in amused disbelief, trying not to laugh at your adorably dorky excuse.
Dramatically sighing in defeat, “Fuck, okay, you got me.” You say lowly, a bashful smile developing on your lips.  
“You passed the study hall five times. I counted.” Ellie goads.
You partially suppress your laugh, mindlessly giving her arm a light smack. “Oh, my god. Don’t tell me that!” 
She dotes on your laughter and your touch; whether it was intentional or not. Either way, she’s feeling good about herself now and her previous worries about this encounter floated away, and you could safely say the same. 
“It’s a good book though, we can go back and get it. No need to be shy about it.” Ellie quips.
“Shush!” 
With Ellie as your guide, the trip to the study hall was much easier than you made it out to be. You recognized the big glass windows you passed by often and when you stepped into it, you flushed with embarrassment. It was a direct contrast to the old-fashioned, mahogany colored library you’d been meandering around. 
Ellie really could’ve counted the times you walked by, and she really did. The first time, she thought you must’ve seen a friend and left to catch up with them. However, the second time around she realized you might be lost. 
She was going to text you and tell you to turn around, but she thought it was cute seeing you walk in circles, ignoring literally every sign in your way. By the fourth time, she could tell you thought you were in a time loop and she found it fucking hilarious. Someone like you, seemingly exceptional in everything but directions. The fifth time came and, of course, she decided she was being cruel and had to come help you herself. 
Ellie leads you to the desk where she’s set camp at, and the amount of books and paperwork makes you dizzy. “Jesus, Els. Are you teaching me the entire course?” 
She takes a seat before giving you an answer, “Well.. That depends on how bad you’re failing.” 
You take a seat across from her, setting your backpack on the floor before resting your forearms on the oak table. “My teacher said I was dumb as fuck and essentially called me a homophobic slur.” You’re exaggerating, obviously, but that was exactly what it felt like.
Ellie scoffs out a sound, unsure of whether to laugh or be offended for you. “Damn... It’s Bill, isn’t it? God, that guy is a fuckin’ prick.” She questions, clearly unsurprised by his actions.
You sit upright in your chair, relief shining through your words, “Yes! Is that his thing?” 
Ellie casually leans back, thinking back to when she was a student of his. “Oh, yeah. He’s a blunt guy, shitty filter,” She continues, and somehow you’re both meeting each other’s looks, “But he’s fair with his grades, n’ I know it doesn’t make it any better, but he has a husband. He’s just… old.. and grumpy.”
You try to consider that he is letting you retake a major grade. You guess you could appreciate that somewhat. “True... still, the comment was unprovoked. You must know him well though?” 
“Yeah, I took his class last year. We were at each other's throats about coursework n’ shit. Really hard to reason with that guy.” Ellie purposely leaves out the part where she was being unreasonable too, but only for the sake of storytelling, of course. “Then that summer, I saw him at a family gathering.” She finishes off with a dramatic shiver in disgust and you laugh at how endearing it was. 
“Anyways, his gaydar is somethin’ else. I can never tell.” She admits, carelessly waving a hand in the air. Ellie’s radar in particular is broken. Shattered, even. She can’t keep track of the amount of times she has stood in the shower, realizing a girl was flirting with her only days later. 
“Even with me?” 
“Even with you...” She speaks with artificial sadness and a slight sulk.
“Ouch… I’m wounded.” You fake a frown, slightly dropping your shoulders.
Ellie’s eyes fall to your nails; some suspiciously shorter than the others, and all painted in your favorite color. “But… that I know for sure, I can definitely tell.” Ellie comments.
 A swarm of butterflies suddenly parade your belly, and you shine a coy smile her way. “They’re not short because of that…” Your half-hearted attempt to defend yourself drips in the lightness of your voice.
Ellie briefly raises her eyebrows with a sly smile plastered on her face, folding her arms over her chest; which, unbeknownst to you, was to shield how hard her heart was thumping. She’s shocked she hasn’t turned into a pile of mush yet, probably thanks to her smoke session earlier.
“I’m serious! I keep my hands to myself.” You continue on, putting in a little effort in your voice for your defense this time. For the most part it is true, lately your mind has been on Ellie, and Ellie only. The thought of random flings didn't excite you, but she did. However, it wasn’t not true that you’ve had a fair share of hookups. You’re in an art school, how could you not? 
“C’mon, just yourself? I’m sure you've cared to share.” Ellie playfully pokes around you with her words; nonchalant and prone for a reaction. 
Your jaw slightly drops, making your head tilt to the side incredulously. “Wow. What makes you think that?”
Ellie unfolds her tattooed arm to rub her palm against the back of her neck, responding unexpectedly timid, “Hey, ‘m not blind. I know you’re popular.” 
You snicker at her explanation and shake your head. “They’re friends. You can be friends with girls even if you’re gay, Ellie.”
“Friends don’t touch you like that.” She notes with an uncharacteristically stern expression.
It surprises you for a second, but all it makes you wanna do is poke fun, tease her, and see where it’d go. “Like what?”
Ellie sighs, reluctantly explaining further, “Like they’ve touched you before.”
“Straight girls are touchy.” You shrug, purposefully ignoring what she tried to imply. 
The way you said it so matter-of-factly makes Ellie’s eyes roll. “You know I don’t mean it like– ugh, my judgment is usually fucked up, but that? That I can tell the difference with.” Ellie states with surety.
You narrow your gaze at her, a teasing grin forming on your lips. “What are you jealous or something?” 
“Of you or the girls?” 
“Oh, the girls were an option?” You playfully remark, but also with honest curiosity in how she’d answer. 
Ellie clears her throat and leans forward to place her textbooks into view, trying to hide the blush spreading across her features. She’s not doing a great job at it and you’d love to tease her some more, but you can settle with taking the win for now. 
Night crept up faster than you both anticipated, the ambient sounds of paper printing and carts rolling by were no longer prevalent. The only thing filling the room is the buzz of the light fixture above and the words you two exchange. The table is cluttered with Ellie’s open notes and some textbooks with neon page markers poking out the sides. It wasn’t organized by any means, but it was a mess you both found easy to work around. 
Surprisingly, Ellie is a great tutor. When she saw your paper, she didn’t make fun of you like you thought she would. Instead, she expressed how grating it is to remember all that crap and you shouldn’t give yourself a hard time over it. 
To help you memorize the muscles of the body, you guys settled on one area and made up silly rhymes for it. She tried to argue that brachiosaurus was perfect for brachialis even though it didn’t even rhyme. You even gave her the chance to pick a different one, but then she said brachyceratops with a mockingly straight face and you knew she couldn’t be trusted for the task anymore.
The air between you two wasn’t stuffy or silent like you feared it’d be. Ellie made you laugh, not in the breathy forced way you’ve unknowingly gotten used to making. 
She made sure you listened to her tips & tricks, made you review your mistakes so you wouldn’t repeat them again.
You hadn’t picked up your phone for anything other than to google things on the subject, and your ringer? Off. Your attention never strayed far from her. That made her undeniably nervous– sweaty, and hard for her to breathe normally, but she could  acknowledge how well she was doing.
Ellie’s head is dipped down to a paper you two were working on and you’re openly ogling, wondering how she’d look in a pair of glasses. Flipping through papers, tapping the back of a pen on her inviting lips. You tell yourself you snap back to reality before your mind strays any further. 
“If we keep this up, you’ll remember it all in no time” She encourages, eyes still glued on the paper. Secretly, she hopes it takes a little longer. Just a little.
“Thanks for helping me out, Els.” You say, face tilted into the palm of your hand. 
Ellie looks up from the paper to give you a smile, but she doesn’t hold her gaze for long. A millisecond later and her blush would have you thinking she had a sudden, terrible fever. 
“It’s no problem. It helps me out too.” Ellie points to the examples she sketched out for you with her pencil. She pauses before speaking again, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in her mouth, “Can I ask you something?” 
Studying her expectantly, you lift your head off your hand. “Yeah?” 
Ellie fidgets with her pencil, trying to muster up courage. Her mouth feels dry trying to push out the words. “I’m also struggling with a class and uh,” she twirls her pencil in one hand, tucking a sliver of her hair behind her ear with the other, “I was wondering if you could be the model for my art final?” Her question came out whinier than she’d like it to, making her freckled-face wince. 
You can sense how nervous she is about asking, but you can’t place your finger on why she ever would be. This is the first time anyone has ever asked you something like this, so in your mind it’s nothing but exciting, especially coming from her. You can already imagine yourself sitting prettily still while Ellie studies you and paints long, fancy strokes on a yellow canvas. “Ellie, are you kidding? I’d love to.” 
Her lashes flutter in disbelief, “Really?”
“You’re helping me, so why not? It’s fair.”
“It’s kind of a weird thing to ask. I mean, we barely know each other.” Ellie murmurs, unaware that you have absolutely no idea what she’s on about. 
You lift a brow at her. “We will eventually, right? What’s weird about a portrait anyways?” 
“It’s not a portrait… Well, I guess it is–“ Ellie sighs into her palm, “I’m drawing you, but…” She cringes before she can finish her sentence. 
“A portrait in pencil? What am l missing?” You slowly question. 
“Think Titanic.” She grimaces as she waits for your reaction, trying not to bang her head on the table for picking Titanic of all movies. 
“Titanic? What does that have to do with…” Your voice trails off, quieting down so you can process what Ellie said. Think Titanic. It's hard for you to connect what the 1997 romance movie had to with this, but when it connected, it connected. The infamous drawing scene was memorable. You’re in awe, not quite sure how to react. 
“You don’t have to be fully… y’know..” Ellie insists. 
Your face is still unreadable, as if you're lost in thought, and it’s freaking her out. Too many what-ifs are going through her head, all of them gradually getting worse the longer you stay silent. She thinks she got too close to the sun when she had more than enough warmth. She's already preparing herself for rejection, worryingly scouting your face for a hint of revulsion; however, it never comes.
“Oh. Okay.” You calmly respond with a shrug, your face still unreadable; the only difference being a light smile. You could’ve thought about it longer, but you’re so flattered Ellie wants you to pose for her that you rather worry about it later. She wants to sketch your body onto paper. Yours. It sounds vulnerable and a little nerve wracking, but she’s your friend. A friend you have a crush on, sure, but you wouldn’t want to inconvenience her over it. Plus, you owe her now. Really, you’re purely being selfless. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.
“Okay?” Ellie repeats to make sure she was hearing things right.
“Like I said, you’re doing this for me, so I’ll do it for you.” You reassure, gesturing around to the study session laid across the table. 
“Are you sure? You know I’ll still tutor you, even if you say no–”
“— Do you not want me to?” You pout your lips, hoping she hasn't changed her mind already.
“Are you shitting me? Of course I do. I just… didn’t expect you to say yes.” Ellie finally says, absolutely dumbfounded given her hand movements. 
You laugh melodically, “Didn’t think that far, huh?” 
“Nope.” She answers with a cute embarrassed smile, her blood rushing to her face. 
Your phone buzzes, probably a text or notification. You reach out and shove a few papers to the side to get to it before taking a look, only for your eyes to be drawn to the time. “Shit. It’s late. I think the library closes soon…” You murmur regretfully, feeling all too comfortable where you were.
Ellie presses her tongue against her cheek in annoyance, upset that time dared to pass by as fast as it did. “We should get going then, I guess.” She says dejectedly, not wanting to leave you just yet. 
You peep her suddenly gray aura and smile warmly towards her. “Can you walk me back to my dorms?”
She nods with subtle enthusiasm and pushes out of her seat, immediately packing all her belongings to join your side. “Yes! — I mean, sure. Yeah.”
—-
The lamp post lights are warm and waning, complimenting the shadows on both your faces. You two walk down the dark flagstone path towards the housing area, chatting about nothing. It’s nice to be able to spend a little more time with her before the night is over. Unfortunately, you guys were drawing closer and closer to your dorm and the feeling of loss came as quick as it left. 
“Hey, Els?” 
She glanced at you and hummed in response, giving you the signal to continue. “I was wondering if you were gonna be at some party tomorrow? Apparently Dina’s co-hosting it.”
Ellie looks at you quizzically before looking off elsewhere to think. “Why the fuck would they party on a Sunday?”
You snort out a laugh before lifting and dropping your shoulders, “I don’t know, senioritis or something. Will you come though?”
“Mhm, I’ll be there.” She smiles as she speaks, loving how your face lit up by the end of it. Ellie isn’t too fond of parties, but for you? She can make an exception.
You cheer in a whisper tone and it makes Ellie smile harder, her features creasing in adoration. You two finally approach your dorm building. You walk up a step before turning to wave goodbye. She raises a palm in return and you flash her a smile that makes her heart leap before turning into the building.
If Ellie couldn’t tell before, she’s completely enamored by you. 
daily click to help palestine interested in auto-sending ceasefire emails to congress? visit this (ios)
a/n: fuck jk rowling but i rlly couldnt think of any other commonly known fantasy book :/
taglist: @bready101 @pascals-doll @macaroni676 @khai-le @pedropascalsbbg @seraphicsentences @starlight-savegery @snowy-vee @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @a-little-bit-of-everybody @elliesactualgirlfriend
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sungbeam · 3 months
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nonidol!kim younghoon x f!reader
neither you nor younghoon were party people, but you did find love in the convenience store down the block.
▷ genre, warnings. friends 2 lovers, mutual pining, college au, swearing, fluff, humor, comfort, reader has crowd anxiety, reader has a lot of siblings lol, mentions of math/physics/chemistry/etc sorry it was necessary for the character, kissing, puns and pick-up lines, mentions of academic stress, lots of carbs haha, drinking, guys younghoon was my first bias and im remembering why
▷ total wc. 29.3k (TUMBLR MADE ME CUT OUT SO MUCH I FKN HATE THIS HELLSITE)
this is the seventh installment of the love in unity series! this should be fine as a standalone, but there are multiple references to party people & i highly encourage u to read it!; all other yns will be referred to as _!yn. (ayc occurs DURING party people)
a/n: in an alternate world, i would still be obsessed w kim younghoon, isn't that crazy. anyways, enjoy + reblog!
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EPISODE ONE (PILOT): OF ALL THE COSMIC COINCIDENCES
KIM Jungwoo's message materialized on your lock screen in a bombardment of photons: Hey, you sure you don't wanna come with us tonight? Feel free to still join :')
You slung the strap of your bag over your head and shoulders before shooting him a reply. No thanks Woo :') Appreciate it though! Have fun tonight <3.
Some of the people in the social circle you orbited were heading to the bay tonight for a bonfire rager to celebrate (read: mourning) the beginning of the new university term. Though you hadn’t seen many of the people attending tonight in a couple months, you were never much for big crowds. Plus, the start of the school year brought a whole dumpster fire of things to worry about, so taking a quiet evening with yourself would be well worth it to keep your head on straight.
With the message sent, you hauled your apartment door open and headed out into the late evening. There was a convenient store at the end of the street a couple blocks over that you had been frequenting since freshman year, and you could taste the sweet brioche buns as the store’s fluorescent lights entered your view. It was a small corner store that reminded you much of a traditional 7/11, except there was a corner inside the store where patrons could eat and chill, and the food, arguably, tasted better than alright.
(The seating area inside this place had definitely seen many of your midterm and finals grind nights. And tears. There were lots of tear stains on those tables.)
Your roommate and good friend Miyawaki Sakura often accompanied you here whenever you came to do some studying, shopping, or recreational snacking. Tonight, she was holed up in her room video chatting with some of her cousins in Japan, but most other nights she would be online playing some kind of first person shooter game.
The walk to the nearby convenience store was a short, yet familiar one. You played a song at a faded volume in your earbuds, your hands tucked into the safety of your pockets. It was a warm night out, as late summer clung onto the coattails of early autumn, leaving a strange mixture of green, red, and yellow in the trees. The streets weren’t barren—plenty of people were out and about on a Saturday night—and still, you tilted your head up to the sky to appreciate the beauty of the obsidian sky.
When you reached the end of the block, you entered into the comfortable embrace of the convenience store. It was quiet, as expected, with only the muffled sound of jazz acoustics from the overhead speakers as white noise. The latter combined with the noise from your own device made it all the easier for you to be unaware of the other people here with you.
Your mouth was already watering from the mental image of brioche, and you made a sharp swerve into the familiar bread aisle when you realized—oh, you weren’t alone.
Standing exactly where you knew the brioche buns were stationed was a tall, lanky man with a pair of earbuds hanging from his own ears, one hand examining one of the bread packages while the other was tucked away in his pocket. His dark colored bangs were shaggy and hung in his eyes, but you could’ve recognized that side profile from a mile away. You’d spent nearly half a quarter staring at it, after all—the other half was looking at his front profile and forehead, but those were just as identifiable.
For a moment you stood at the mouth of the aisle weighing your options. Did you say hello, or did you walk away and pretend you didn’t see him?
He decided for you.
Kim Younghoon glanced up from the bread after feeling your eyes on him for a considerable beat of time. He blinked once before you saw the sharp surprise in his expression melt away into soft fondness. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he chuckled, tugging his earbuds out with a charming smile. “Long time no see, Yn.”
You mirrored his actions and slipped the wires into your pocket. “Long time no see,” you agreed, returning his pleasant expression.
You met Younghoon just last year when he stumbled into the math tutoring center with his head held high and a notebook full of question marks. While your friends on shift at that time (Chanhee coaching someone through their linear algebra worksheet; Jungwoo yanking his hair follicles out with a group of freshmen over trigonometry) were busy, it was you who ultimately became Younghoon’s go-to calculus tutor. For the quarter that he took calculus, you helped the drama major through it.
Of course, finding a drama major in a calculus class was a rare occasion, but you both blamed the university’s awful general education requirement. Either way, you’d both found a friend and good company in one another. It didn’t help that he was terribly charismatic, and often filled the spaces in between long text messages about how to calculate the cross-section area of a vase with “good morning”s, “good luck on your midterm!”s, and corny STEM-themed one-liners.
Younghoon was the kind of guy people took home to meet their parents. Not… not that you ever thought about him like that. It was just what you overheard from this group of girls in the tutoring center once—
“I guess we both had the same idea tonight then,” he chuckled as you came to stand beside him to scour the shelf for your victim tonight.
You hummed. “I guess so,” you said. “I usually don’t see you in this area of the district though.” Because you definitely would have seen him. You lived around here, after all.
“Oh,” he grabbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “it’s a funny story actually. I dropped my friends off at a party and I went to the store near them and they had no good selection of bread.” He made a helpless gesture. “So I couldn’t just accept defeat, and now I’ve ended up here.”
You plucked a package of soft brioche from the shelf, then passed him an amused look. There was something unfair about how the harsh LED lights fell so lightly over his facial features. “I guess some form of cosmic coincidence brought us bread-lovers here.”
Younghoon knocked his bread package against yours like he was cheering a glass of champagne. “And might I say what excellent taste you have.”
That drew a laugh from you. “Ditto.”
He pursed his lips then, considering you. “So what social event are you dodging tonight, Miss Mastermind?” Younghoon’s eyebrows arched upwards at you, and you suddenly took on the sheepishness he had before. Though, you definitely noted that familiar nickname that followed his question. You wondered if that was still the name your contact was saved under in his phone. (If he even still had your contact information saved.)
You raised the palm of your hand up to hide half of your face from comical shame. “Now why would you just assume that I’m here because I’m avoiding a social call?”
“Yah,” he chided jokingly, “because I know you.” His eyes turned up to the ceiling for a moment before he added, “And you’re friends with Kim Jungwoo.”
“Okay, that’s fair.”
He laughed. “Gotcha.”
“And you say I'm the mastermind?” You quipped back at him, all light-hearted. When he first dubbed you with the nickname, you hadn't known what to do about it. He claimed it was because you somehow made learning calculus fun for him—some “sorcery,” as he accused back then.
“You are!” He exclaimed with excited, wide eyes. “You've hexed me with a love for math puns and acute angles,” he groaned melodramatically, clutching his chest like his heart was about to burst for added effect.
You clicked your tongue, unable to hide your amusement. “Acute angles is a new one.”
“'Cause they remind me of a-cute-ies like you,” he said with his hand shaped into a finger gun, tongue between his teeth.
Your hand went over your face again. “I forgot that you did that.”
“You missed it!”
The smile on your face couldn't even be fully covered with your hand. Maybe you did miss it—or maybe it was just him. When the quarter had wrapped up last year and Younghoon was no longer taking calculus, neither of you had any “excuse” to be around each other anymore. Though you still had his number, you always chickened out of texting him to see how he was doing or if he wanted to hang out.
In your mind, Younghoon was always too cool for you. You didn't feel like you fit into his world.
Younghoon took your hand and drew it away from your face, a slow smile filling his lips. “There she is. You missed me.”
“If you stop asking, I will pay for your bread.”
“As if I'm going to let you do that,” he shook his head. “I'll take that as a yes.”
You both began making your way over to the counter to purchase your individual pastries. You always knew Younghoon liked bread, and you shouldn't be so surprised that he drove halfway down the district just to find a specific brioche bun. It was funny and strange how the universe worked. At times you wondered if the probability of fate could be calculated—
“So it's just you tonight?” You asked him as the two of you lingered just outside the convenience store with your freshly purchased breads in hand. You had both immediately torn into your brioche as soon as you cleared the threshold, and the fluffy pastry filled your mouth and stomach with utter joy. It was buttery and sweet and soft… perfection.
Younghoon shoved the piece in his mouth into his cheek. “For the most part, yeah,” he replied, his shoulder lifting in a half shrug. “You?”
“Yeah, Kkura's at home, but she's on call with someone. Jungwoo did invite me out to that big bonfire at the bay tonight, but…” You shook your head.
His head tilted slightly. “Oh yeah I heard about that.” For a second, he didn't say anything, and then he murmured, “Crowd anxiety.”
You hummed, eyes shooting over to his. “Hm?”
“Crowd anxiety, right?” He asked with more confidence. “I—you can correct me if I'm wrong—but I just remember you mentioning something about crowd anxiety last year.”
Your chewing slowed for a moment, and a small smile curled onto your lips. “No, you got it right.” He remembered. Of course, he remembered. A warm feeling made itself comfortable in your chest.
Younghoon seemed to brighten. “Good, I'm glad I remembered correctly,” he said while leaning his shoulder against the wall of the convenience store. “I have a question.”
“Shoot.”
“Did you ever happen to watch that performance of 12 Angry Jurors I recommended?”
Uh oh. You could physically feel your neurons spark at the familiar title. It was the equivalent to a bell—no, alarm—rattling around inside your noggin.
Younghoon threw his head back in a laugh at how your face rearranged into an expression of pure mortification. "You look like I just caught you with a hand in the canary cage—oh my god, you should see your face!"
You were helpless at this point, and no words were coming to your tongue to rescue you. Screw all the differential calculus—where was language ability when you needed it? “I can explain myself,” was all you came up with.
He crossed his arms over his chest, fixing you with a pointed look, albeit still amused. "I'd love to hear this."
“You know that some things just slip my mind—”
“Yes, and that's why I watched you put it into your calendar.”
“And you know that the school has a bad habit of scheduling big events on the same night—”
He cocked a brow at you, leaning forward slightly. “I don't like where this is going, you workaholic.”
You gestured at him with the piece of bread in between your fingers, and he had to cover his mouth to keep from snorting. “I am not a workaholic,” you said firmly.
“Sure you aren't,” he replied back in a tone that indicated he thought the exact opposite.
“Anyways, they put the research symposium on the same night as the last showing—”
“Ah-ha!” He cried with a triumphant finger pointed at the sky. You were convinced that any second now, he was going to start twiddling an immaculately curled mustache. “So you did procrastinate!”
You pressed your lips together as you crumpled your empty packaging, then raised a finger up to scratch your head sheepishly. “Maybe I did.”
Younghoon drew out an exhale. “Aye, I knew it. You know, I think you're just about married to your work, Yn-ah.” His mouth quirked to the side and he scratched the underside of his jaw. “But I guess that's not a bad thing.”
You gave a small wince. “You're not mad I missed the play?”
“Mad? No, of course not. It wasn't my play,” he joked. “I know you have priorities, and me being mad would just be silly.”
“But you are disappointed,” you countered pointedly.
“Disappointed for you,” he countered. “That was a pretty good performance of 12 Angry Jurors. Though… there is one part that I would have chosen to represent differently, but…” He shrugged, letting the thought float out into the ether.
“What is it?” You prompted.
His lip curled upward and he let out a little chuckle. “I'm not telling you; it'll spoil the ending!”
You were unconvinced. “I'm never gonna see the play, Hoon.”
“Not with that attitude,” he shot back.
You couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of you from his sass that came out of left field for you. The sound of your joy made his smile widen and his eyes narrow into pretty, upturned crescent moons. The warmth all around you wasn't just from the evening's temperature. You'd forgotten just how easy it was to talk to Younghoon, and you decided that yes, you definitely missed him. But with all good things, it was written with a curtain call.
Younghoon seemed reluctant to push off of the wall and away from you. “Well, I shouldn't keep you any longer,” he said. There was a down turned angle to the corners of his smile now. “I do need to go re-find parking for when I have to go hunt my drunk friends down.”
Your laugh was small. “Good luck with that. And… don't worry about keeping me anywhere too long.”
“Thanks, and I'll keep that in mind.” His tongue stuck out between his teeth for a second, his head ducking down to shake his hair out of his eyes. “Hey, you still have my phone number, right?”
“I do.”
Whether harsh or dim lighting, it highlighted his features beautifully regardless. His eyes twinkled. “Now I know you won't ignore me if I send you another calc pun.”
“I'll look forward to it,” you promised.
The two of you were beginning to step toward your opposite directions, but failed to make your legs move any further. “Get home safe, Yn,” he murmured in goodbye. The possibility of him never reaching out crossed your mind. It wasn't like you didn't have faith that he would; rather, it was your own thoughts creeping into your head that you two came from different worlds. Despite the friendliness between you, that was the whole reason you shied away from ever reaching out. It was nothing personal against him.
EPISODE TWO: PASS GO & COLLECT TWO HUNDRED
GRAVITY reminded you of its existence when a bundle of fabric hit you square in the head. (Then again, you were always reminded of gravity’s existence when you thought about it…) “Yah—hey!” You clawed the article of fabric off your head and whirled around in your desk chair with a scowl. “Kkura!”
Sakura blinked innocently from where she stood at your closet, hand on her hip. “Put it on.”
You made a face as you straightened out the garment in your hands, the frown deepening when you realized which top it was. Or rather, which dress it was. “I haven’t seen this since I unpacked my clothes from boxes two years ago,” you whistled lowly. It was a black satin piece, something you brought along with you from home in case you ever decided to go to an event that called for a cocktail dress. Most of the formal events you attended though usually allowed you to get away with dress pants and a blouse. This poor piece of fabric had been relegated to the back of your closet since.
Your friend resumed sorting through your clothes for any alternatives or more of that kind. “I didn’t even know you owned something like that. I thought all your bottoms clung to your ankles unless they were shorts.”
“I have variety,” you sniffed and draped the dress over the back of your chair. “And what's wrong with bottoms going to my ankles? I like when they get to be warm.”
“That's what socks and shoes are for.”
“Says the girl who wears jeans that pretty much cover her shoes.”
Sakura shot you a look that reminded you of when your mother was exasperated, but she didn't want to admit that you were right. “Okay, so maybe we both have problems. But that's besides the point!” She walked away from your closet to sit herself on the edge of your bed, her hand dragging the arm of your desk chair to roll you over away from your desk. “We're going to a party tonight!”
She beamed, waving her hands around. When you only gave her a blank stare, she cleared her throat. “Ahem, I said, we're going to a party tonight! Woo!”
You pursed your lips. “Not very woo, to be honest.”
“You're not very woo,” she quipped in a deadpan.
“No, no, no!” You cut in, waving your finger back and forth. “Don't pretend like you wouldn't rather stay home than party either. And besides, you know that I don't do crowds.” You gazed off into space as if recalling the Great War with glazed-over eyes, already smelling the sweat and booze, and feeling the suffocating pressure in your chest as people squished up against you, and as you lost sight of your friend or anyone you knew for that matter, in the sea of—
“I know,” Sakura pushed out an exhale, and your eyes shuddered as you came out of that headspace. “But I think it'll be good for us. I mean, you need to get your eyes away from that grant application for one second, and I—”
“Need to stop playing League?” You suggested cheekily.
Your friend's scowl coaxed a high pitched wheezing sound out of you. She pursed her lips. “I was going to offer to hold your hand while we were in the house, but I guess not—”
“Okay, now let's not get ahead of ourselves!” You countered. The glint in Sakura's eyes when you interrupted her told you all you needed to know. Damn her cleverness; she'd got you once again.
Maybe she was the real mastermind.
Two hours later—the both of you dolled up and willpower strong (ish)—you clung to Sakura's hand as you and she slipped into the lively host house for tonight's festivities. Sweat already dampened the lines in your palm, and you moved your grip on your friend to hold onto her arm instead. You hadn't been to a house party or a frat party in a while, the last one being a birthday party for one of your friends from differential calculus turning twenty-one.
This instance was different. For one, there were far too many people packed together per square inch. And second, who thought turning down the lights was a good idea? You were already half blind as it was…
“I think we should get a drink!” Sakura shouted as she sent you an encouraging smile.
Your eyes widened as you narrowly missed getting someone's shoulder shoved into your face. “Yes, a drink sounds great!”
It was a war zone as the two of you maneuvered yourselves through the crowded living room space. The only reason people seemed to converge in that room in particular was because it had been turned into a makeshift dance floor. There were also people seated on the stairs, leaning over the upstairs landing, and meandering around in the halls.
You could feel your head begin to fog up as you unconsciously shifted closer to Sakura's side. Your friend curled her arm around your shoulders, deftly guiding you through the fray to the light at the end of the tunnel—the kitchen. There was a distinct lightening of your chest as you stepped foot into the less crowded space. The kitchen was still only dimly lit with the most minimal of light switches flipped on, but it was still enough where you could at least see your hand in front of your face and the light layer of sweat on Sakura’s brow. You made a swift scan of the area and spotted three people over by the kitchen counter, one of whom was slumped over the countertop, dozing off.
Oh, to be him right now.
“Oh, hello,” greeted one of the trio. He was stationed behind the counter like a bartender, his purple bangs brushed out of his face. The girl with him lifted her hand in a friendly wave.
“Hi, we’re not—uh, interrupting or anything?” Sakura said as your hold on her arm loosened considerably now that you were in an area that was much less crowded.
The two of them shook their heads with too much enthusiasm. “No, no! Definitely not.”
You and Sakura exchanged glances of incredulity, but didn’t push the topic any further. With pleasantries aside, the two of you excused yourselves to peruse the display of alcoholic beverages on the island space. You knew Sakura could hold her alcohol a decent amount, and so could you, so you both looked around for bottles of flavored soju to hold you over for the evening.
You dug around in one of the coolers and withdrew twin bottles of strawberry-flavored ones. “Kkura!”
Her blue-colored head perked up and she brightened as you waved your treasures around in the air. “Ooh, yay! You know, I think we should restock our stash of melon soju at home,” she mused and came over to where you were.
With your drinks secured, you each took the first sip like a shot, then linked arms to face the crowd again.
Drinking either made your anxiety rocket or relax—it depended on the beverage and the kind of day you’d had, but as you nursed your bottle for moments longer, the heaviness in your chest began to gradually recede.
The crowd anxiety you harbored was a byproduct of being the middle child of five siblings. You loved your family to bits, but sometimes home life was overwhelming. It wasn't that you got nervous around people, but more so in large bodies of people. The first year or so of your university life spent in large undergraduate lectures were absolute hell; there was an appeal to the upper division classes besides specialized interests.
But your friends were all aware and took good care of you, which you were more than grateful for.
“Is it just me—” Sakura said to you loudly with blue and purple lights painting her features, “—or does this soju taste really good tonight?”
You smacked your lips together as you savored the sweet taste. “You're definitely right,” you said. “We might have to go back for more.”
“If we can remember how to get there,” she giggled.
“Wait, what's in here?” You steered the two of you into a doorway to your left.
From the looks of the massive table stretching from one end to the next, you had stumbled upon the dining room. The room was large enough for there to be a few different groups of people occupying sections, but the largest one took reign over the farthest end. Your eyes widened in delight when you recognized two people in particular. “Oh wow.”
“Yn?” Chanhee exclaimed in disbelief. He was partly hunched over what looked like a board game as his deft fingers counted out paper money. “You're here?”
Everyone—well, almost everyone—turned their heads to see who Chanhee was talking about. Nonetheless, there were still quite the amount of eyes looking at you and you felt your palms begin to get sweaty around your bottle neck.
Younghoon gasped. “YN!” He grinned, lumbering over with his jelly-like limbs, tripping over people's legs and chairs. You could see the alcohol in his expression before you smelled it, but you couldn't just not hug him when he wrapped his arms around you in greeting. You hadn't seen him since last week at the convenience store but even then, the surprise had yet to escape you. What a cosmic coincidence.
“Hey, Hoon,” you chuckled in amusement, patting his back affectionately. You didn't know he would be so affectionate when drunk, but then again, this was the first time you were experiencing him like this.
“Big guy's a little drunk,” Sakura observed, then lifted her bottle to her lips. “Are you guys playing Monopoly?”
One of the guys, who looked the most of sound mind and state, nodded. “Yeah. D'you guys wanna play?”
Younghoon placed his hands on your shoulders with a goofy grin slipping onto his face as he pulled away. “You should play with us! Guys—” he announced to his friends, “—this is my bestest friend, Yn!”
“And her friend, Sakura,” you cut in, gesturing to Sakura with jazz hands.
“And we would love to play,” Sakura added.
You passed her a glance. There was mischief dancing in her eyes. You supposed at least you knew what you were getting into before jumping into any game with the Miyawaki Sakura. These poor chumps never stood a chance.
“Okay, but Chanhee's the iron,” remarked one of the other boys while you, Sakura, and Younghoon made your way over to where they all were gathered.
You snorted at Chanhee's less than pleased expression. “Why does he insist that you be the flat iron?” You nudged your friend. You met Chanhee and Jungwoo in a shared freshman differential calculus class where the three of you weathered the war together.
Chanhee sighed, his tongue poking his cheek. “Because apparently I have no ass.”
“BECAUSE YOU DON'T!”
“NEITHER DO YOU!”
With none of that settled, a good majority of the people present gathered around the Monopoly board on the table to play. You, Sakura, and Chanhee all clambered onto the dining table to sit while the others rounded the end of the table. It also gave you a little room to breathe while playing with such a large group.
“Ladies first,” declared one of the boys, who's name you learned was Sunwoo, his eyes at half mast and cheeks flushed like red grapefruit.
“If you insist,” Sakura sang and did a little dance as she swiped the dice up to roll.
You placed a hand over your eyes jokingly. “Look away!”
Haknyeon blinked with his eyes wide. “Why?”
“Because she's about to win faster than you can say pass go and collect two hundred.”
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In retrospect, you saw this coming. Even if the universe could construct more possible futures than you had atoms on the tip of your pinky finger, you definitely could have seen this coming.
The aftermath immediately following Sakura's utter domination of the Monopoly board left all of her opponents in a sputtering mess. Your friend dusted her fingers off as if there were crumbs on them, a very satisfied Cheshire's cat grin crawling onto her lips. “You can fight it or just accept it,” she shrugged, taking the last swing of her soju.
Eric stared up at her from where he knelt in front of the table, gripping the edge with his palms. He was all wide-eyed and full of wonder. “Teach me your ways.”
“If you get me another soju,” she offered, gesturing with her empty bottle. She probably didn’t expect him to take her up on the offer, because her eyes widened a comical amount when the kid rocketed up to his feet and darted out of the room, faster than she could blink.
“Is he usually like that, so hyper?” You jested to Chanhee as you and he began reorganizing the paper money.
Your pink-haired friend laughed. “Kind of. Youngjae's cute.”
“And what am I, Channieeee?” Came an inebriated Changmin. He teetered over to where you and Chanhee were, then unceremoniously draped himself over the latter's back.
“Ahhhhhh,” Chanhee groaned, “Ji Changmin!”
“Answer my question!” His friend slurred. “I think Yn thinks I'm cute. D'you think I'm cute?” He asked, gazing up with you in a deep pout and puppy dog eyes.
“Don't answer that question, Yn. It's like making a deal with the Devil.”
Changmin scoffed, straightening to a surprisingly perfect posture. He slapped a hand to his chest in offense. “How could you! Chanhee-ssi! We're supposed to be friends!”
You chuckled, leaning out of that dumpster fire of a conversation, and finding yourself in the company of one very loopy bread enthusiast. Younghoon had slipped back from watching the game about three quarters of the way through and slumped into a chair with a can of beer and his phone. At some point, you had given up on Monopoly, too, and considered joining him. Now, you really did move over to join him.
His head perked up when you leaned over and poked his shoulder, a smile coming to his face. “Hi.”
“Hi,” you smiled back. “Tired?”
He gave a slow, drawn-out nod. “Mhm,” he hummed. He lifted the can of beer to his lips and finished it off, then dropped his phone into his lap so he could rest his face between his hands. “I'm kind of hungry.”
You laughed. “I bet. How much did you drink, Hoon?”
“Dunno,” he shrugged.
“Long week?”
“Veeeery long week,” he nodded. “Like…” He spread his arms to his full wingspan, “this much.”
A giggle bubbled out of your mouth at how adorable he was when he was drunk.
Suddenly, he snapped his fingers. “Oh my gosh, Yn! I never sent you the joke I found,” he frowned. “I found it and thought about sending it to you, but then…”
“You forgot?” You offered.
“I just didn't wanna bother you, to be honest.”
Oh. Something in you softened a great deal at the confession. You were always so sure that you would have been the bother, because it was difficult to imagine that someone who seemed so sure of himself like Younghoon might also feel the same. You mimicked his position with your hands holding up your face. “You're never a bother, Younghoon.”
“Even when I ask dumb questions about factoring?”
“There is no such thing as a dumb question.”
He pursed his lips into a line, unconvinced. “You're too nice. No wonder I liked doing math homework.”
You laughed again at the unexpected compliment, and Younghoon smiled to himself. “I'm glad you enjoyed doing your calc homework.”
He opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then snapped it shut with wide, doe-like eyes. “I was going to say a joke, but I realized that I probably shouldn't say that one in particular.”
“Wow, you have a filter when you're drunk?” You teased.
“Hey!” He pretended to sulk. “I'm not that drunk!”
A beat passed, and then he said, “I am still hungry though.” Yeah, definitely drunk.
Within fifteen minutes, you convinced Sakura to accompany you and Younghoon to the convenience store a couple blocks from your apartment. The three of you together managed to snag Chanhee to drive you all, as well as Changmin as an accessory since he and Chanhee lived together. Younghoon had once again insisted on this place in particular because he thoroughly enjoyed the brioche bun from the other day and had been missing it since. You and he settled down at the seating area in the corner of the store with your freshly-purchased bread, while the others traipsed around in search of other sustenance.
Younghoon's cheeks were full of brioche as he muttered a muffled, “You know why I like—calculus jokes?” He swallowed his bite, his eyebrows braiding together as he stared at his now empty package.
You quietly plucked the empty bag out of his hands and replaced it with yours.
He melted at the action. “I do.”
You bursted into a fit of giggles and Younghoon followed straight after you. Your face filled with fire and his bloomed like a blood red rose. The alcohol was slowly settling in. You were a lot more refreshed now that you were outside of the crowd setting, and your chest felt much lighter. “You do?”
“I do,” he reaffirmed, tearing the last bit of bread apart for you both to share instead. “You know why I like—” he hiccupped with the bread half in his mouth. His face morphed into one of confusion, then utter disdain.
You stifled a laugh with your bite of carbs. “Why do you like calculus jokes, Younghoon?” You asked to help him out.
He swallowed his bite. “Because—trig jokes are too graphic and algebra ones are too for—” He hiccupped again, his eyes shooting up toward the ceiling in exasperation.
“Formulaic?” You offered.
Younghoon frowned. “You know this one?”
“I enjoy guessing.”
“Hm,” he grunted, unconvinced. “There is one outlier though.” When he hiccupped for the third time, you patiently waited for him to fill in the blank. “Statistics.”
A small smile wormed its way onto your face. “I have to say, that was very subtle but very good.”
Younghoon beamed with pride. “I knew you would get i—” Another hiccup. He deadpanned. “I hate this.”
You stood up with a chuckle. “Let me get you some water.”
“Thanks,” he pouted. You felt his eyes on you the whole time you went over to the free water cooler over at the counter, and even as you brought him back the little paper cup of liquid.
As he drained the cup, you lingered next to where he sat rather than sitting back down. “Better?” You asked, then held your hand out to take the cup back if he wanted more.
He shook his head though, and he raised it up to his eyes while squinting one of them to aim it at the trash can behind your seat. “How do I get this exactly inside the trash?”
You blinked, eyeballing the distance between his seat and the trash can. The paper cup wasn't going to have a lot of weight while it was empty, but if he threw it with the opening facing him instead…
Younghoon made a noise that sounded a lot like a child's giggle. “Hehe, you're actually doing the math in your head.”
“You don't know that,” you muttered.
“Of course I know that.” He shucked the paper cup and it landed in the trash can with a clean swish sound. He threw his hands in the air. “Woo! Crowd goes wild.”
You laughed and slid back into your seat. “See, you didn't need math to get the cup into the trash can. Nice throw, Hoon.”
He grinned at you. “Thanks. You know how I knew you were doing the math in your head?”
“How?” You humored him amiably.
“Because you get this cute little wrinkle between your eyes, riiiight there—” He leaned forward and booped the place between your eyes, making you go cross-eyed for a split second. “—when you're processing info.”
“Processing info makes me sound like a computer,” you joked.
“Too bad you're not a keyboard,” he said with a sigh, “you'd be just my type.”
An unnaturally loud guffaw came out of your mouth and you slapped your hand over it. There was far too much mirth between the two of you right now. “You're telling me you're good at this drunk, too?” You shook your head, the laugh lingering on your tongue, “Y'know what? I shouldn't be surprised.”
If Younghoon could come up with pick-up lines to remember how to do calculus sober, then you should not have underestimated him drunk.
“Changmin, can you put the plunger down before we get kicked out?” Your head turned toward the sound of Chanhee's pure exhaustion as the three others rounded the corner. You imagined Chanhee dealt with drunk Changmin more than a few times to sound so exasperated. You didn't even want to know what Changmin was doing with the plunger.
Sakura, Chanhee, and Changmin bumbled over to where you and Younghoon sat, the supposed plunger nowhere to be seen. Chanhee brushed a lock of pink out of his eyes with a deep sigh. “Alright; shall we?”
EPISODE THREE: DO AS THE PHYSICISTS DO
THE hungrier Younghoon woke up, the more he likely had to drink the night prior. His stomach growled something horrific and he groaned, rolling his body over to squish his face into his pillow. There were no trains of thought running through his mind at the moment; there was only blissful quiet. And hunger. Goddamn it, he was hungry.
With a huff, he dragged himself upright as if he were rising from the dead. He gave his head a rough shake, eyes bleary as he blinked once… then twice… Oh, yuck. Sticky eyelashes.
There was something white on his desk that caught his eye. There was a yellow sticky note marked with Chanhee's chicken scratch beside it: Yn sent you home with this bottle of painkillers. In case you don't remember, lol.
Dear god, it was coming back to him now.
Younghoon lowered himself down onto the edge of his bed and dragged a hand down his face. Had he been weird? Did you think he was weird now?
His phone was buried somewhere beneath his mess of sheets, and he pulled up your contact that he still had saved from last year. The last message sent was from a brief conversation you both had after his calculus final about what you were both doing when you went home for the winter break. He could feel the warmth creeping up to his cheeks from his neck as he typed out the first message to you since: heyy… about last night…
It was a bit of a surprise when he saw your reply come in nearly straight away.
miss mastermind: LOL good morning, did u sleep okay? younghoon's phone: decently ig 😅 thanks for the painkillers btw i will def take a couple of those miss mastermind: yeah no worries younghoon's phone: how bad was i last night, yn 😭 u can tell me miss mastermind: 😭 u weren't that bad… okay maybe u started singing the calculus parody of bohemian rhapsody on the way to my apartment…
Younghoon snickered into his palm as he stared at the messages on the screen. That memory was definitely rolling back into his head now. It was that, along with the Monopoly game, then the convenience store, and finally, the walk to yours and Sakura's apartment before Chanhee dropped him off here.
miss mastermind: i can't say im too surprised u remembered it tho 😭 sometimes i forget that ur trained to remember things younghoon's phone: that's a funny way to describe being an actor LMAO younghoon's phone: but also i'd be lying if i didn't admit that im so embarrassed abt last night miss mastermind: nooo don't be!! it's all good, i thought u were a very cute drunk
He smiled against his hand. He typed: Well now I just have to make it up to you.
miss mastermind: u absolutely do not younghoon's phone: actually i do younghoon's phone: if i recall correctly, u gave me the rest of ur BREAD. that's like…|
He paused, having nearly written “marriage proposal.” Quickly backspacing, he replaced it with “donating an organ.” Maybe he was a little delusional, but he could've sworn he heard your laugh echoing in his head after he sent it and saw the indicator appear that you were typing. He reached over to grab the bottle of painkillers as he monitored your texts coming in.
miss mastermind: DONATING AN ORGAN… miss mastermind: yk, i knew u liked bread, but not THIS much younghoon's phone: but ofc :0 she's my first love miss mastermind: understood o7 now ik how to sway ur judgment ☝️ younghoon's phone: le gasp younghoon's phone: truly evil mastermind things only miss mastermind: the le gasp is taking me out 😭 younghoon's phone: how abt /i/ take u out instead 😗
As soon as he sent it, he grimaced. Oh no, this was going to be taken out of context. You were going to go through the whole “sorry, I'm not really interested in you” talk, and he would have to sit through it pretending like it didn't hurt—he didn't mean for it to sound like that. You were just friends after all.
younghoon's phone: I MEAN LIKE younghoon's phone: for watching over me and humoring me last night yk! it doesn't have to be something fancy either, just something that we can do as friends! and to say thanks
His grimace deepened. Those clarification texts did nothing to help his case. It also did not calm his nerves when you failed to respond immediately like you had been for the past few minutes. “Well, you've done it now,” he muttered to himself as he frowned down at the screen.
For a couple minutes, there was nothing from your end and he forced himself to drag his ass off the bed in search of sustenance. Hyunjae's door was closed, so the rest of the apartment was quiet as he bounded out of his room toward the kitchen. Periodically (read: every couple seconds), Younghoon would glance at his phone screen waiting for your reply. “What are you scared of?” He said to himself as he opened the fridge and scratched his jaw. “You literally came up with pick-up lines for calculus terms with her.”
There were leftovers from a couple nights ago, and Younghoon grabbed those to heat up. He closed the refrigerator with his hip, eyes darting to his phone, only to see his screen light up. He dropped the leftover container on the counter and scooped the device up.
miss mastermind: i really don't think it's necessary to pay it back or anything, but we can def hang out! miss mastermind: also sorry my sister stole my phone TT but i got it back haha It was sad how fast relief flushed through him at that moment. younghoon's phone: oh no dw abt it lol ur with family rn? miss mastermind: i am! my aunt's in town and so i was summoned home for brunch 🤧 younghoon's phone: …is there :’)) uhm french toast :’)) miss mastermind: *sent a photo* younghoon's phone: that was cruel. miss mastermind: HAHAHA SORRY 😭
Younghoon stuck his leftovers into the microwave to heat up, but was suddenly craving French toast. He knew for certain he didn't have everything to make it right this second though. Maybe he would wake Hyunjae up to go impromptu grocery shopping.
younghoon's phone: i don't wanna keep u away from ur family any longer, but lmk if u have any preferences for what we should do together miss mastermind: no prefs in particular and dw, talking to u helps distract me from the amount of chaos happening in this house :’) miss mastermind: i do have to go now tho unfortunately :l my sister looks like she's abt to snatch my phone again 😭 younghoon's phone: LOL 😭 okay i'll talk to u soon then younghoon's phone: enjoy ur toast :/ miss mastermind: HAHA i'll save u a slice hoon 😋
The microwave beeped its conclusion, and Younghoon pulled the piping hot bowl of leftover food out. As he took a stab at it with his fork, he came to the swift conclusion that he was not going to be full on this. As he shoveled the food into his mouth, he started toward Hyunjae's room to give his friend a very rude awakening. “HYUNJAE! WE NEED FRENCH TOAST!”
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There was no better place than the convenience store at the ripe timestamp of ten o'clock to meet with a friend. You'd gotten back from your house at around four o'clock in the afternoon, so you weren't too tired, though the cleanup and all the social interaction was threatening to take you out. Any school work or grant application work would have to wait until tomorrow.
Nonetheless, you felt a giddy sort of excitement bubble up in you as you hustled yourself down the street to the convenience store to meet Younghoon. In your hands, you clutched a small, sandwich-sized Tupperware container with a slice of holy French toast within. It was your older brother's favorite thing to make when he had to contribute to a brunch (or, let's face it, any meal) spread.
Younghoon had never been tardy to your tutoring sessions last year, so you weren't surprised when you saw him seated at your usual table in the corner. He glanced up from his phone as you walked in, waving. There was a blue colored beanie over his head and a brown corduroy jacket draped over his shoulders.
He noted the container in your hands and his eyes widened like saucers. “You did not.”
“I told you I would save you a piece,” you said sheepishly as you set the container down in front of him and took a seat.
“You—” His bottom lip jutted out. “I can't accept this.”
“You have to. It has your name on it,” you insisted, pointing out the little “Younghoon” scrawled on the side in Sharpie with a smiley face. It was customary in your household to write names on containers if they weren't already color coded or marked with a label. Label makers cost more than Sharpies did, and most of the time, your family didn't mind scrubbing the ink off if needed.
Younghoon's smile was sweet like the pastry sitting in the Tupperware. “I literally made French toast as soon as we stopped texting.”
You laughed. “No way.”
“Yes way! I dragged Hyunjae's ass out of bed,” he told you with great energy, eyes alight as he recalled his late morning antics to you. “I really didn't expect that you would bring me a slice, Yn, you sweetheart.”
“We had lots of leftovers and I just knew the most enthusiastic bread fanatic I knew had to try some of my big brother's toast,” you told him, pleased with his reaction.
He seemed at a loss for words; he just kept looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and you wondered how you could replicate this reaction over and over again. “Thank you,” was what he settled on. “I—” He gestured to the container, to you, to the container, “It means a lot.”
“You're welcome,” you said simply.
Younghoon heaved a great sigh and stood up. “Now I have to buy you some snacks—no. Yn, sit your ass down.”
Your eyes widened a comical amount and you plopped yourself back onto the chair.
His lips wiggled as he held back a smile. “Don't move.”
“You don't have to do this, Hoon,” you shook your head as he began making his way over to the aisles.
“What's that rule in chemistry? Energy can neither be created nor destroyed?” He queried from within the drinks aisle.
“The first law of thermodynamics,” you supplied. “It's not just chemistry though. It's relevant in all the sciences.” You weren't sure where he was going with this.
“Yeah, well—” He paused. You couldn't see him from where you were, but even the rustling noises stopped. “Shit, that's not the right rule.”
You bit back a laugh. Oh, he was too adorable.
“What's the one where equal and opposite and…?”
Your brain tripped. “Uh, the—the 'for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction’ one?”
More crinkling. “Aha! That's the one. Yeah, so for your actions, I must do as the physicists do, and react accordingly.”
Younghoon returned to you with an entire treasure trove of goodies that you swore amounted to more than what was due. (That number to you was technically zero, but for Younghoon's insistence, it was slightly over zero… maybe one one-thousandth.) It was a smorgasbord of peach drinks with lychee jelly, potato chips, daifuku mochi, and of course, bread buns. It was a feast in its own right. You both dove straight into the snacks before you. When life gave one lemons, one was to make lemonade.
Younghoon popped a chip into his mouth. “Do you come here often? Is this your hangout spot?” He suddenly asked, then dipped his hand into the bag and waved a chip around in the air, a quizzical kink in his brow. “I mean, you do live close by and you seem to be very familiar with the place.”
You screwed the cap of your bottle of juice back on and wiggled your fingers as you surveyed what snack to eat next. “I do hang out here often—you’re right,” you replied. The daifuku looked very appetizing right about now. “I've been coming by since school started to knock out my grant app.”
He perked up curiously. “Grant app?”
“It's for the Space Grant.” In partnership with the national space organization, your university offered something called the Space Grant, which would grant three applicants with a monetary award that could be used toward their education in aerospace. You'd had your eye on it even before you began attending this school, and you were determined to be one of the three who won it this year.
After you briefed him on the cause of much of your recent stress, Younghoon gave an indulging nod. “Mmmmh, I see. You're still aerospace engineering then, right?”
“Yep,” you chirped. “me and propulsion theory to the end. I guess I'm an airplane kid.” At the latter, you made a face. You were the space version of an airplane kid… the alternate of train kids and car kids…
“Don't think about it too much,” he said with corners of his smile peeking out on either side of where he pressed his fist against his lips.
You tried not to. “How about you? What have you been up to?”
He breathed out an exhale. “Hm? Oh, like, with drama?”
“Sure, anything and everything about you.” You leaned your cheek against your fist and peered over at him. “We've been talking about me too much.”
“Nonsense,” he tsked. “You already know I recite lines, dabble in the hilariously good pun on occasion, and am incredibly obsessed with carbohydrates.”
“What more could I possibly wanna know?” You played along.
“Exactly.” He chuckled then, tongue darting out for a second to wet his lips. “Jokes aside, nothing too much. Hyunjae's best friend, HJ!Yn—she’s a director and writer, and she's putting on her own play in the spring that I'll be auditioning for.”
Your eyebrows arched in interest. “Oh? What's it about?”
“No clue.”
You nodded. “Ah, well, good luck—or, break a leg. People say that, right? It's not just in movies?”
“People do say that, yes,” he affirmed. “And thank you. I'm gonna start a part-time teaching job at a school nearby for their theater program, which I think will be fun.”
“That does sound fun,” you agreed. Because you had two younger siblings yourself, you knew that taking care of young ones was a lot, but if anyone could do it, you knew Younghoon could. You imagined he would do quite well with them. “Let me know when they have a performance!”
His eyes twinkled in the fluorescent lights; you were beginning to grow more accustomed to the way the harsh brightness painted his features softer. “You have to promise to come though. This is more important than 12 Angry Jurors.”
You placed a hand against your heart in playful solemnity. “I, Yn Ln, do solemnly swear that I will try my very best to make it to see their performance.”
He cleared his throat, his expression falling into an expertly grave facade. “I accept your promise,” he said and extended his hand out to you across the table, “shake my hand, and may the deal never be broken.”
You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from breaking out of character as you shook his hand. When you'd both withdrawn your hands, you watched him, fascinated, as he exited out of character. It was like a switch had been flicked off behind his eyes. Crazy.
Satisfied, Younghoon laced his fingers beneath his chin with a giddy, little smile on his face. “I'll save you an aisle seat.”
“I appreciate that,” you said. You really did—and he really remembered.
“And I'll make silly faces at you from the curtain wings.”
You laughed, telling him you couldn't wait.
EPISODE FOUR: TRAINS GO BOOM?
THERE were too many fires to put out at once. You were becoming the humanoid version of that dog in a burning house meme, and you didn't like it. It was not fine.
“Girl, I wish you'd told me, like, three weeks ago—”
You tasted the rejection a mile out.
“—I already committed to this robotics thing that night,” Jungwoo cried in anguish as he threw his head back. “I could've gone to the Space Gala! Instead, I'm watching people play with robots.”
You passed him a sympathetic look. “Robots are cool.”
“But I don't even get to do anything! I can only spectate!” You both stopped in the middle of your walk as he made unintelligible noises and gesticulations. Jungwoo grabbed your shoulders and shook them. “YN! WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE? I have to pay to watch people have fun.”
Your head was wobbling back and forth like a bobble head. Thank god for spines. “Woo—I’m gonna be honest—”
He stopped shaking you.
“I have no idea,” you said to him. “But we are in the same boat.”
The two of you were currently situated on the engineering side of campus. Most of the buildings around you were geared toward the great spectrum of engineering students—from electrical and computer, to aerospace and nautical. You just got out of a numericals simulation course and caught up with Jungwoo coming out of the engineering library to present to him your newest dilemma.
Jungwoo's posture sank. “I only have regrets after pursuing MechE.”
You pursed your lips, lamely patting him on the shoulder. “I told you aero is cooler.”
“I won't dignify that with an answer,” he sulked. Jungwoo picked himself up, however, as he always did. He carded a hand through his floppy brown bangs, eyes flickering down to his phone screen before his eyeballs nearly fell out of his socket. “Oh shit—I’m gonna be late to advanced mathematics. Chanhee is gonna murder me.”
He bumped your shoulder with the back of his hand. “Good luck on finding a plus one, Yn-ie!”
“Good luck getting there before Chanhee,” you hollered back.
Jungwoo threw you an expression that needed no subtitles, but fitting ones would read, That was so unnecessary!
As your friend sprinted in one direction, you began walking in the opposite direction. You had a little more than a couple hours before your next lecture, so you could probably either walk around and enjoy the day's nice weather or find a place to work. All bets were off when you felt your phone buzz from your pocket, and you saw the message on the screen. It was a text from your older sister: hey mom's asking if u have something to wear to the wedding lol.
The “LOL” at the end really downplayed how much stress this was going to give you. The entire event of The Wedding had slipped from your mind over the past week—actually, you were pretty sure you forgot the moment you got back into your car to drive home from brunch last weekend.
If you thought you had a large immediate family, your extended one would silence all thoughts instantly. One of your cousins-in-law was getting married in December, which meant you needed to find an outfit and mentally prepare yourself for the amount of people there were going to be in one room.
The Wedding made you anxious.
You shot your sister a frazzled text back. It was something along the lines of: maybe… lemme check the back of my closet… or pray I have funds in my bank account.
You somehow made your way to one of the green spaces on campus. It wasn't the main lawn that people picnicked or hung out on, but it was still just as beautiful as the main one. It also sat right by the café located down here in the engineering corner; you and your friends liked to loiter around here when the weather was nice.
It was exactly why you thought you were hallucinating when you saw Younghoon walking toward you.
“Younghoon?” You voice incredulously. “What're you doing here?”
He beamed at you, reaching a hand up to cup the back of his neck. “Oh, you know, just taking a walk and enjoying this nice, autumn weather…”
“Down in the engineering buildings?”
He sniffed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I wasn't purposely trying to look for you or anything,” he said and rocked back and forth on his heels.
You didn't need to know rocket science to read him. “Okay,” you drawled. “Say I believe you.”
“Divine coincidence,” he shrugged helplessly, jovially, even. His eyes were upturned in cute crescent moons. “Oh! And would you look at that—” He swung his backpack around to the front of his body and withdrew your plastic container from its depths, empty and clean, with even his sharpied name scrubbed off. “I just happened to have this on me.”
You sputtered out a laugh and accepted the container from him. “How funny that this pattern of events keeps happening.”
“Pfft, I know, right?” He brushed a hand through his hair. “So, uh, what're you up to?”
“What am I up to?” You parroted. “Not sure, to be honest. I've got a couple hours to kill. What about you?”
Younghoon gestured to the walkway that bordered the perimeter of the engineering lawn. You fell into step beside one another. “Nothing much, too. I kind of just needed a little walk outside to clear my head.”
You sighed, nodding. “I get that.”
“That sounded… very heavy,” he said, passing you a glance. “Something on your mind, Mastermind?”
“Oh, well,” you trailed off, uncertain of where to begin or how to begin. It seemed like Younghoon had something on his mind, too, and you didn't want to give him something else to hold onto. But when you looked over at him, there was a concentrated, concerned furrow in his brow; he was nowhere else but present with you.
You clasped the back of your neck and felt the knot in your muscles. “There's this thing.”
“Mhm.”
“Colloquially, it's referred to as the Space Gala, but it's kind of just an evening prepared by the Space Grant Consortium with a bunch of booths and a Q&A panel—things like that.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Wow, a whole consortium?”
“Yup.” You'd been a member of the student club associated with the consortium since freshman year, not just to keep up to date with information about the space grant, but because you enjoyed attending the events and learning about new innovations related to your desired field. “And it's a little formal where everyone dresses nicely to a degree, and each member can bring a plus one. Usually, Sakura comes with me, but something just came up for her that she can't avoid so—” You made a helpless gesture with your hands.
It was no fault of her own that she couldn't avoid the personal matter that came for her. You just needed to find someone to go with you now, but finding someone on such short notice was proving to be less than swift.
“Ah,” Younghoon said in understanding. “You'd like to attend with someone you're comfortable with because it's a large gathering of people, and—when is it?”
“Next Friday,” you grimaced.
He blinked. “Oh, wow.”
“Yeah.”
Younghoon pressed his lips together. “Hey, I mean, if you're looking for someone to go with—I dunno if you're comfortable with me compared to your closer friends—and I don't want to seem as if I'm inviting myself, but—”
“Younghoon,” you cut in with the knots in your neck and shoulders suddenly dissipating. You pressed your hands together, touching them to your lips. “Would you like to go to the Space Gala with me?”
The most beautiful smile blossomed onto his face then, and you swore to go it was warmer than the sun's beams. For a second, his cheekbones darkened with something bashful, but it was hidden in the blink of an eye, and you were met again with the charming Younghoon you knew well. “Why, there's nothing I would love to do more.”
“You are a lifesaver.”
“Aw, don’t worry about it,” he laughed. “I'm happy to go with you, Yn. I mean, what does Sakura usually do to help you when you're in crowded places?”
Hold my hand. That thought was immediately cast aside. That was probably far too much. You coughed, “Uhm, just—you know—stick around me. I get kind of overwhelmed when there are a lot of people around.”
“Overstimulation?” He offered sympathetically.
“I suppose that's the word I'm looking for.”
Younghoon nodded. “Okay. Hey, that's okay. You just tell me what I need to do to make you feel safe and I'll do it.”
Your heart pounded in your chest and you couldn't figure out the right words to express your gratitude. It was hard not to downplay your own misgivings; it took time to practice being patient with yourself. “Thanks, Hoon. I don't really… know what to say, but I really do appreciate it.”
“You don't have to say anything,” he said easily. “And I think, personally, I'm a great plus one.”
If only all of your troubles in life could be fixed so simply by Kim Younghoon being your plus one.
Your stroll together took you down toward the environmental science building. It was a path through a heavily forested area, though a little strange even being located somewhere south of the main campus. The paved sidewalk faded into a worn dirt path, and sunlight filtered in through the layers of leaves crisscrossing overhead.
“I've spilled my guts,” you piped up, “now what's on your mind?” You added swiftly, “If you're comfortable with sharing.”
Younghoon blew out an exhale from his mouth. “You know that job I mentioned? The one where I'm working with a youth theater program nearby?”
You nodded. “Yeah, how's that going, by the way?”
“I'm not sure,” he admitted with his mouth shifted to the side. “I had my first day with them on Wednesday, and I'm seeing them again today. I think I'm just nervous that they'll get bored of me.”
Ah, you could understand that. Surely your years helping out with your younger siblings could lend some use. It was rare to see Younghoon in this state of unease, and it was even more rare to think of someone who wouldn't like him. Seeing him troubled even a little made your stomach churn, and you wanted to help find a solution. “How old are they?”
“They’re all older primary school kids,” he said. “Young enough to not be scary middle schoolers and old enough to have some kind of attention span.”
You smiled to yourself. “Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about.”
“I knew you would.” He brightened. “You have younger siblings, don't you? Any chance one of them wants to become an actor?”
“Oh, hm,” you murmured, “Sadie's got her eyes set on ballet right now and I think Quincey's really only fascinated about his trains. They can be swayed though, I'm sure.”
“How do I keep a kid's interest though?”
You wish you had a formula for that. You worried your bottom lip between your teeth. “To be so honest with you, kids just like learning about dangerous shit.”
Younghoon wheezed. “What?”
You grabbed his shoulder as you both stopped in the walkway so he would face you. “Listen—no, I'm being serious, Younghoon!” You were trying to get a hold of this man as if you weren't gradually losing it, too. “Do you know how many times my little brother has made his trains go boom?”
“Yn.”
“He has problems, I know; he's like, four and a half or something.”
Younghoon's eyes were filled with mirth as he pressed his knuckles against his mouth. “Yn, do you know how insane that sounds?”
Your eyes shuddered in a blink. “Huh?”
He grappled onto your shoulders with another wheeze, eyes moist with laughter and a twinge of something else you couldn't process. “Yn, are you free next Friday at three?”
“Yeah?”
“Come with me to see the kids?”
“Okay.”
His tongue ran over his teeth as he grinned. Younghoon's head dipped in a nod, and he dropped his hands to the side. You didn't know what the hell just happened, but you had a feeling a solution was very much found.
EPISODE FIVE: TO INFINITY & BEYOND
“PLEASE tell me you're leaving the medieval torture devices out of the discussion.”
You passed him a look from the passenger's side of Younghoon's Prius. (It was objectively hilarious to watch this man fold his long limbs up to get in and out of this car; you didn’t know how the laws of nature even allowed a human with his height to own and drive one of these things.) “You say that like you were sure I wasn't.”
It was currently the Friday following, and the day you and Younghoon would both be each other's plus ones. Presently, you were in his car as he drove you both over to the elementary school where he was part-timing. Once this class was over, you would split off to prepare for tonight's Space Gala before meeting again at the venue on campus.
He turned his signal on as he pulled into the parking lot. “I'm just making sure.” He glanced over at you. “Are you excited?”
“To have about two dozen pairs of eyes on me?” You had faced crowds before and they weren't your forte, but you supposed if they were all bite-sized people this time, it wouldn't be so bad. Plus, Younghoon said they would be sitting down and working in groups most of the time anyways. The appeal of this crowd was that you didn't have to worry about getting swept up.
“They're all nice kids,” he said as if consoling you. “It'll be fun!”
“But I can talk about the trebuchet, right?” You asked after he parked and you were clambering out of the car. That one time you went down a fascinating rabbithole of medieval machinery was about to come in handy.
Younghoon paused with his hand on the top of his door. “That wasn't the one with the horse-pulling, was it?”
“Oh, definitely not.”
He locked the door and the two of you began walking side by side to cross the parking lot. There was a plastic clipboard in his hand made of a material in a shade of translucent neon green, something you expected a PE teacher would carry around, except this clipboard was armed with scripts and instructor notes. The little drama program at this school was currently only an after-school occurrence, but if this all went well, they might be granted permission from the school to start integrating it into everyday classes. It was exciting—you could remember your first years of exposure to things like liquid nitrogen ice cream, egg drop competitions, and the National Geographic issue called Astronauts. Perhaps in another life you would've been an astronaut, rather than the engineer who designed the vessel that would take them into space.
Needless to say, these were some of their most impressionable years, and Younghoon was going to be a big part of these kids’. It made you warm and fuzzy inside.
Sometime between today and last week, Younghoon brought you up to speed on what the kids were currently working on. The head instructor picked out something from an adapted version of How to Train Your Dragon, which in all honesty, was cool as fuck. Immediately, thoughts about how to build a harness apparatus for an actual dragon model came to your mind, but you would need to take a look at the dimensions of the stage and preferably leave flamethrowers out of the end result. That was if you were allowed to or even had the time to.
It would be fun though. Of course it was going to be fun.
Younghoon was the first one to enter the auditorium room. It was a multipurpose building with a large, open concept space lined in carpet with a stage at the furthest end and the doors to the library across the way. With the impending introduction, you stuck behind your friend as he poked his head in. Instant squeals of delight erupted at the sight of him. (He was kidding when he said he was worried about the kids ever getting bored of him, right?) “Younghoon!”
Younghoon’s smile was so big that you could see it even when his face was half turned. “Hi everyone—I brought a friend today. Let’s give her a nice, warm welcome, hm?” Younghoon stepped completely into the room now, his hand coming over to gently sweep you in with him by your shoulder. “This is Yn.”
You raised your hand in a small, awkward wave, a greeting somehow managing to come out of your mouth. There were so many little ones present and they were all sitting in a misshapen blob in the middle of the carpet, their backpacks lined up against one of the side walls. Interacting with children who weren’t your siblings or relatives was a lot different.
“Oh my gosh,” you heard one of them gasp. “Is she his partner?”
“No, she is not my partner—she’s a friend,” Younghoon replied pointedly. “Boys and girls can be friends, Roni.”
There was a boy with a gray colored Lightning McQueen jacket on who said, “That’s exactly what my brother said before he asked his best friend to be boyfriend-girlfriend.”
Well. You angled your head toward your counterpart and murmured to him, “How old did you say these kids were?”
“Now you know why I needed your help,” he joked. “Their brains run too fast.”
“And you think the two of ours can measure up?”
Another small one—she had her dark hair in twin pigtails, knotted off with bows—raised her hand. “Are you an actor like Younghoon?”
“Me?” You pointed at yourself as if there was someone else she could’ve been asking. “Oh, no, I don’t have the skillset to be an actor,” you mused. “I basically make airplanes and rockets.” Basically.
A flurry of excitement kicked up like a snowstorm, and you could feel your skin warm at the sudden increase in energy. Perhaps you should have led with that..? But even so, it was abrupt, and you didn’t quite know what to do with yourself—
Younghoon cleared his throat, “Hey guys, let’s keep our noise level down, please.”
In response to his request, the kids miraculously managed to quiet themselves down to a buzzing chatter. It hit you at that moment; Younghoon wasn’t just good with kids—he was incredible. Why did he ever think he needed your help when you could barely stutter out a sentence about what you did instead of acting?
“I told Yn about the show we’re putting on,” he said with everyone’s attention now settled on him, including yours, “and she was very excited about seeing it.”
“Is she gonna make us fly?” Someone asked with their eyes wide and big, and you swore you could fit the whole Milky Way within the awe that was in their irises. Kids, man.
“Only if you guys do good today,” Younghoon said. “Why don’t we break off into groups and show Miss Yn what we’ve been practicing, hm?”
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You managed to pick out the Star Trek theme over the volume of your hair dryer, and swore loudly as you cut the device off and scurried into your room to find your phone. “Hello?” You answered as you brought your phone back with you into the bathroom.
“Hey,” answered Younghoon, “I was thinking of just picking you up to go to the thing tonight instead of just meeting there.”
It was approximately two hours since you and Younghoon departed from the elementary school. You were back at your apartment now, attempting to get your bearings and clean yourself up for the evening's festivities.
You could feel the gears turning in your head as you weighed your options. “I mean—only if it’s convenient.”
“Okay, I’ll be by at say… 7?”
“Sounds good,” you replied as you finished up styling your hair. Though nicknamed the Space Gala, it wasn’t meant to be incredibly formal like dinner jackets and evening gowns—nice shirts, ironed pants and skirts, and non-sneakers or non-sandals would do fine. “Thanks, Hoon.”
“Mhm!” He chirped to the accompaniment of rustling in the background.
“Also—” You grabbed your phone and flicked the bathroom light off. As you were making your way back into your bedroom, you saw Sakura peer out through her open doorway with curious eyes like that of a cat. She wagged her eyebrows at you knowingly and you shooed at her playfully. “Kim Younghoon, you are such a liar!”
His laugh was sincere and bright. “Technically, I never lied.”
“You are great with kids.”
“Being good with kids is a subjective quality, my friend,” he replied, and you could hear the smile in his voice. “Besides, you did great with them, too. They loved you.”
You pursed your lips in a sad, silly attempt to stay petty, but you couldn’t deny that you had a nice time with him and his students this afternoon. Once the initial jitters subsided, you loosened up a considerable amount. Adults oftentimes underestimated how perceptive kids were, but you had a feeling that they caught onto what made you feel overwhelmed pretty quickly. At least, most of the groups you were working with did.
But… you had fun. That was all that mattered in the end. You would enjoy going back to see them again. You kicked your door closed with your foot. “I had a good time,” you replied at last. “Thanks for letting me tag along.”
“Yeah, of course. It was really fun having you there with me—us.”
You both paused on either end of the phone as the conversation reached a natural lull point. As you fitted on the freshly-steamed blouse you planned to wear tonight, you caught the time at the top of your phone screen. “Uh… so I’ll see you in about twenty minutes then?”
Shuffling from his end, and then, “Yep—twenty minutes! See you in a bit, Yn-ah.”
“Bye, Hoon!”
Twenty minutes flew by faster than 299,000,000 meters per second—at least, to you. One moment, you were ducking into the passenger side seat of Younghoon’s Prius, and the next, the two of you were being admitted in through the doors of the annual Space Gala. The usual “venue” that the consortium booked for this event was one of the campus’s main buildings that housed three large lecture rooms on the first floor, as well as two lecture halls on the second floor across from another large event space.
The lobby was filled with a crush of people, with some faces you recognized and others that you didn't. There were tables draped over with black cloth that hosted educational mini games where one could win free button pins and stickers, booths with companies associated with the consortium present to pitch potential internships, and everything in between. Younghoon stuck to your side like glue. You felt the warmth of his hand either between your shoulder blades or on one of your shoulders as the two of you maneuvered your way through the crowd.
It wasn’t until you hit the farther end of the lobby where there was a clearing of people that you felt the pressure in your sternum alleviate. You imagined your gaze appeared a little empty, glassy even, but it was all just an overwhelming wave of sensations on all ends.
“How’re you feeling?” You heard Younghoon’s voice close to your ear so you could hear him but anyone else around you couldn’t.
You focused on that—his voice. “I’m fine,” you assured him with a small smile. “I’m excited to be here and it’s just a lot.”
Younghoon smiled back at you and you felt his palm warm little circles on your back. “Take your time. The guy at the front says it’ll be another half hour until we can expect the panel to start.”
“Kkura and I—we, uh, usually go in a little earlier than everyone else.” Depending on the year, you and Sakura either occupied seats in the front couple of rows or one of the balcony seats. The former was to distract you from the idea of several hundred other people being in the room behind you, whereas the latter was so you had a large space between you and the crowd. Both were methods that you and your friend deduced were the best at soothing any feelings of overwhelm.
He nodded. “Okay, yeah, we can still do that. Are there any tables you wanna visit before we go in?”
“Actually,” you said, and your heart leapt at the memory of one booth you visited every year, “I have to show you this one thing—it’s so neat. It might be on the other side of the lobby, but we can cut upstairs and get to it that way.” Where there was a will, there was most definitely a way.
Younghoon’s expression mirrored the excitement in yours. “Lead on, Yn-ah,” he chuckled and let you grab his hand to show him why you loved what you did.
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This year was dubbed a balcony year.
From yours and Younghoon’s perch up in the balcony rows, you could peer down at the hundreds of heads below, as well as the presentations given onstage. You were always blown away by the new information and possibilities brought up during the year’s presentations, as well as during the question and answer section where audience members could either line up to ask the panelists their queries directly or send them anonymously to an online platform.
Your preferred method was most definitely the latter because public speaking was not your forte, even though it meant you would have less probability for your questions to be answered. One year, Kkura had practically escorted you up to a panelist when everyone was leaving because you had a burning question.
But this year was different. All of your awe was coupled with the amount of marvel expressed by your partner for the evening. If you were fascinated by what was being discussed below, then Younghoon just entered a whole new galaxy.
You found yourself glancing over at him the whole night to watch his reaction. Periodically, your eyes would meet, and you might have been embarrassed to be caught looking at him, but it was completely dashed away by the pure reverence that was stark on his face.
At some point, the evening did have to come to an end, and you and Younghoon lingered up in the balcony to let everyone else below you trickle out first.
“That,” Younghoon whistled low, “was incredible. I’m so—” He made unintelligible hand gestures before coming up with a word, “—bedazzled. I’m positively bedazzled.”
You grinned. “I’m very pleased to hear that you’re bedazzled.”
“I mean, why don’t we hear about this on the news?” He queried, eyebrows knitted together in disbelief. He reached up to adjust the wiggly star headband on top of his head that he won from a spin-the-wheel stall earlier. “If they talked about finding organic chemicals on faraway planets on the evening news, viewership from my devices would skyrocket for them.”
“Don’t we all wish they talked about space on the news,” you sighed as you leaned your cheek against your fist. “But also, as Dr. Cho mentioned, we can’t get too excited yet. Organic chemicals for us might not mean organic chemicals for an alien species.”
Younghoon nodded slowly. “Right,” he drawled. “That’s so interesting to think about… that we’re possibly not alone and that they could either be very similar to us or very different, or maybe even somewhere in between.”
“Isn’t it crazy?” You couldn’t count the amount of times you got lost in a rabbithole of research when you were supposed to be working on assignments instead. Your eyes darted down to the lower levels to check the population density, and garnered that you could still wait at least a couple minutes more. “Hey, you know, if you're interested in this stuff, then you should come to some of the planetarium’s presentation nights sometime.”
Your counterpart’s eyes widened like the lens of a telescope. “We have a planetarium?”
You giggled. “Yeah, silly. What did you think the astronomy tower was for?”
“We have an astronomy tower?”
You smiled wide against your knuckles as you nodded. “Maybe you should wander down by the engineering buildings more often.”
Younghoon made an incredulous face. “Maybe I should.” He considered something for a moment and you watched the smile blossom onto his face again. “Though, I have a feeling that if I looked into a telescope, I'd only see you—’cause you're a star.”
“That was awful,” you snorted into your hand, shaking your head.
“Not my best work,” he admitted. He could admit defeat when he was met by it, but he wouldn't let it hinder his efforts. “You know, I think Galileo was wrong.”
“How so?” You asked as you motioned for the two of you to start gathering your things.
“You're the center of my universe.”
You were pretty sure the lower levels could hear your laugh echo against the walls. “Oh my god.”
“Or maybe that just makes you the sun,” he said to you in a singsong tone while trailing after you.
“I’m walking home, Younghoon.”
“You can try, sunshine.”
EPISODE SIX: THE ONE WHERE IT GETS WORSE
MURPHY'S Law stated that “anything that can go wrong will go wrong,” with an adage of “at the worst possible time.” You needed to have words with this Murphy.
You were now in the thralls of midterm season. It was common knowledge and experience among STEM students that once midterm season began, it didn't stop until finals hit. You hadn't even realized how fast midterms had arrived until it was pouncing on you like a predator in the brush. You were currently being torn apart by the jaws of a hungry lion called Life.
“I haven't finished the grant app, Kkura.” You stared at the white wall behind your desk with a blank glaze over your eyeballs. There were sticky notes and pieces of paper tacked there with reminders and diagrams like they were makeshift whiteboards, but you weren't looking at them.
“My aerothermo exam is in two days,” you continued on in a droning voice, “and the internship interview is the day after.”
You spun around in your chair to face where Sakura was perched crisscrossed on your bed with a sympathetic frown. The internship addition was a new one. You had sent in your application a couple months ago, and results of applicants who had passed to the interview phase were only recently released. While you were relieved beyond measure that you made it, the interview couldn't have come at a worse time.
“Well,” she began, “we already decided that I'm going to help you prepare for the interview, Yn. The grant app isn't due for another month. All you need to worry about right now is the aerothermo exam, right?”
When she put it that way… “You're right,” you sighed and lifted your hands up to dig the heels of your palm into your eyes. Sometimes it just took an outside perspective to knock a little logic into you.
The Star Trek theme song blared from your phone, and you both startled at the abruptness. You fumbled for the device, then quickly picked up the phone call when you saw that it was from your mom. “Hi, mom. Everything okay?”
“Your brother can't make it to the wedding.”
You made a face. “I'm guessing you don't mean Quincey…”
You could imagine the exasperation on your mom's face from the other side of the phone. “Yn, I call you because you're the logical one in the family.”
If only she knew what pain you were putting yourself through because of your current lack of sense. You leaned back in your chair, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “Why can't Justin make it?” Justin was your eldest brother who had the divine French toast recipe.
“He's flying to Paris for his culinary school interview. You know I always tell that boy to double check his schedules—he never listens,” your mom exhaled sharply. You could hear the loud clatter of the dryer in the background; she must be doing laundry.
“Sounds like Justin,” you murmured. “So what's the problem? Can't we just go sans Justin?”
“We already RSVP'd with the seven of us, and your cousin already paid for the reception meal in full. We can't have an empty, wasted seat, Yn-ah.”
You frowned. You supposed that would be a problem then. “Why don't we just find someone to bring along as a plus-one?”
“That's what I was thinking,” she replied. “I was going to invite Rian, you know, the boy from next door.”
Somehow, your mood managed to sour further. You and Sakura made eye contact, and she tilted her head to the side in question. You gave her an emphatic thumb's down before replying to your mom, “Wait—can we—mom, can we not invite Rian?” You dragged your free hand down the side of your face, and you saw Sakura grimace when you said that guy's name.
“Why not?”
“Be… because,” you stammered, pushing out a sigh when you weren't sure how to describe your incredible disdain for your childhood next-door neighbor. He was your age, and fortunately, you were never matchmade with him. Unfortunately, he was a jerk with inferiority issues and delighted in competing with you in everything. “He wouldn't want to come with,” you said lamely. His presence would do the exact opposite of soothing your anxiety.
Sakura gestured with her hands. Tell her he's full of shit!
Oh, you wished.
“Yn.” Your mother could smell lies, even through the phone. “I wouldn't know who else to invite.”
“Daphne's partner!” You exclaimed desperately. Daphne was your older sister who attended another college on the other side of the city getting her master's degree. “Can't we invite Sam?”
“Sam's in Vietnam in December.”
“Goddamn it.”
“Yn.”
“Sorry.” Dear fuck, you were slipping. You needed a solution—anything at all. Something to put out one fire, even temporarily. “What if I came up with a plus one?” You regretted it immediately.
“Oh, like Sakura? I wouldn't mind if you brought her.”
Anyone but Rian, anyone but Rian. “Yeah,” you drawled. “That's who I had in mind.” You lifted your head to meet your friend's eyes again, and she knitted her brows in confusion. You mouthed that you would tell her in a moment.
When you and your mom hung up, you deflated in your chair, dropping your phone onto your chest. “I'm fucked.”
“Hit me with it.”
“I told her I would bring you to the wedding with us.”
Sakura sat there for a moment to process the information. “Yn, honey, I'm going to be in Japan in December.”
“I know,” you cried.
“Who are you bringing then?”
“I don't know.”
Murphy of Murphy's Law had better sleep with one eye open.
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It was likely in your worst interest to be at the convenience store at midnight rather than in your bed asleep, attempting to let your brain process the concepts from your aerothermodynamics course. Against your better judgment, though, you were here, slumped over your usual table and seat as you watched YouTube and sipped on a box of chocolate milk.
In the distance, the door opened and closed, but the sound was muffled through your earbuds. Out of your peripherals, someone materialized next to you. You peered up at the tall man beside you now, blocking out the fluorescent LEDs from burning your eyes. “Hey,” you said quietly.
Younghoon took in your state with sad eyes. “I got your text.”
“I didn't think you'd be awake.” Didn't he have a rehearsal tomorrow morning? Or rather, later this morning.
“Well, I'm glad I was awake, for starters.” He frowned and then leaned over you to gently wrap you up in his arms. “Rough night?”
Your face was buried in the fabric of his hoodie. This was nice. “Rough everything.”
“Ah, one of those,” he sympathized. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Not really. Thank you for coming though.” You leaned back and patted the empty seat next to you. “Wanna watch squirrels with me?”
You watched his expression falter and fill with surprised amusement with a pinch of confusion. “Did you—you just said squirrels, right?”
“Yeah, they're competing in a backyard Olympics for this trophy of walnuts.”
He sat down with you to watch the squirrels. In your free time, you liked watching engineering or science-type videos on the internet. Most of them were as educational as they were entertaining, like the backyard squirrel series, where this man used his mechanical engineering degree to build advanced obstacles to test and observe the vast capabilities of the squirrel.
You shared your earbud with Younghoon so he could listen, and you were now connected by a wire. He mimicked your position, too, with his chin nestled onto his folded arms over the tabletop.
You weren't sure what possessed him to drive all the way over here at such an ungodly hour of night, but you were grateful for his company, nonetheless. Even if it felt like the sky was falling, you could let this moment in time exist outside the conventional timeline. It could be its own singular moment, just you and Younghoon.
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you wondered how it all came back to this. You'd never thought you were meant to see him again after tutoring him, let alone having spent so much time with him again these past few weeks. If you didn't belong in his world, and vice versa, then what was this?
You swore the monotonous buzzing from the lights above was making your eyelids slowly fall with the weight of lead.
Younghoon's eyes fluttered over to you just as you were about to doze off. He sat up and turned the video off. “Hey,” he whispered, gently shaking your arm.
You hummed, the bags under your eyes becoming worse by the second. “Huh?”
He chuckled under his breath as you put your head back down. “We can watch this another day,” he promised, patting your head. “We should get you home though so you can sleep.”
“Oh my gosh,” you groaned and picked yourself up, “you have rehearsal tomorrow morning—what time is it?”
“Hey, don't worry about it, love.” He was wrapping your earbud wire around his fingers into a neat, little bundle. “I'll be fine. Let's go home, though, yeah?”
You pressed your palms to your eyes in a desperate attempt to rehydrate them. “Okay, yeah. Sorry, Hoon.”
“Don't say sorry,” he cooed, pressing your earbuds into the palm of your hand and tucking your phone into your pocket. “I felt a lot better meeting you here. Do you feel a little better?”
You gave a small nod. Your brain was too muddled, too exhausted, to really comprehend what was being expressed as plain as the sun at high noon on his face.
“Then that's all that matters.” There was a pause. Your vision was blurry for the second that his eyes wandered somewhere else. You didn't know if you just didn't see it or if you just chose to not acknowledge it.
Then the moment passed, as all things did in the flow of nature, and he walked you home.
EPISODE SEVEN: PARTY PEOPLE (BBANGNYU'S VERSION)
“CHANHEE?”
Choi Chanhee swirled the straw of his melted iced americano around in its cup. “Yup.”
“Who would you invite to a wedding?” You posed, twirling around the mechanical pencil in your hand between your fingers. You didn't even know why you still had the writing utensil out—everyone had pretty much gone home for the evening.
He released a sigh indicative of a very tired data science major, who doubled-majored in math. “The person I'm marrying? I dunno.”
You and Chanhee were stuck with the late shift at the math tutoring center on a Monday night. The crowd usually cleared out by nine o'clock, but the two of you weren't technically allowed to leave until nine-thirty. Most nights when you were stuck with this shift, you and he didn't mind the quiet in order to finish assignments of your own.
Jungwoo would have been here to suffer with you, too, but he had an excuse tonight. Something about an emergency at the NCT fraternity house.
You blew a puff of air through your mouth. “Not your wedding; just a wedding. One that you're invited to.”
“You're not inviting me, are you?”
“You don't wanna be my plus one for a wedding?” You grinned.
“Depends…” He hummed pleasantly, “what're they serving?” That was a valid question that you lacked an answer to.
In front of you on your laptop screen sat your incomplete space grant application. After the hell that was last week, you somehow survived it by the seat of your pants. Now, you needed to focus on your two other exams for this week, the wedding debacle, this grant app, and praying that the interview had gone as well as you thought it had.
So many things to think about, so little brain cells.
You glanced over at the corner of your laptop screen to see how much time you had left to try and be productive. From the corner of your eye, you saw the swift movements of Chanhee's thumbs flying over his phone keyboard.
You turned to your application to read over your responses for the ten thousandth time. “Who've you been texting all night, Chanhee?”
“Huh? Oh, my best friend.”
You hummed. “The one that goes to the uni across the country, right?”
His response was cut off by the sound of the tutoring center doors opening. Both of you looked up in tandem, mentally bracing yourselves for—
“Younghoon?”
There was a weird fluttery feeling in your chest as he beamed at the both of you and bounded over from the front doors. “Hey guys! I was just walking past and thought I would swing by.”
Chanhee's eyebrows flew all the way up to his pink hairline. “Yes, because it makes complete sense why you would be meandering around south campus at nine o'clock at night,” he quipped.
Younghoon seemed, to his credit, unbothered by Chanhee pointing out the obvious. He stole one of the chairs from another table and sat down across from you and Chanhee. “You guys don't play any music when everyone's gone?”
“Sometimes we do,” you replied, glancing up from your computer screen before replacing your word choice somewhere.
Chanhee nodded his agreement as he set his phone down on the table and laced his fingers under his chin. “Oh, Younghoon-ah, I've been meaning to discuss something with you.”
Younghoon perked up. “What's up?”
“What're we gonna do about your friend and my friend?”
You figured out pretty quickly that you had no idea what they were talking about. Even after having played Monopoly with some of them a few weeks ago, it still hadn't hit you as to the full-scale of these two guys’ shared social circles. Sure, you orbited some friend groups of a decent size, but it felt like they all hung out with each other at least once a week.
“Ah,” Younghoon drawled with a knowing sparkle in his eyes, “Jacob and JC!Yn, right? I don't know; I find it kind of amusing.”
Chanhee frowned. A furrow had formed between his brows. “If amusing means to the extent where I'd like to rip my hair out, that is. Did you know that Jacob sent me to go intervene when Jaehyun was talking to JC!Yn at the hot tub?”
“Wait, really?”
“Mhm.” Chanhee made a vague flourish with his wrist in the air. “And did you see how they were at the movie night on Saturday?”
Younghoon pressed his lips together. “I did see that. He kept looking over when Juyeon was braiding her hair,” he chuckled.
“I am at odds, Younghoon-ah!” Chanhee groaned into his palms. “I just need them to kiss already and get it over with.”
“So you wanna meddle?”
“I'm not saying we should meddle, but…” He drawled with cheeky, puckered lips and his palms open upward. His gaze went to you on his right side, and he knocked the back of his knuckles against your arm. “Oy, Yn-ah. What do you think?”
You hummed and drew your eyes up from your laptop screen, meeting Younghoon's gaze first. Glancing over to the friend who addressed you, you said, “What are we talking about?”
“Girl, you need to get off that grant app.”
“This grant app needs to get off me,” you shot back. “I need it to be perfect, Chanhee.”
“Nothing is perfect, Yn,” he told you. “You know what you should do? You should ask JC!Yn to look over it. That might ease your mind.”
“I'll think about it,” you said at last in order to appease him. The smart thing would've been to heed his advice and ask his friend to proofread it. Perhaps you would later this week.
“Good. Anyways, I was asking you what you thought about how to matchmake our two friends,” resumed Chanhee. He tucked his limbs inward as he spun around in his chair.
“You’re going to have to give me more context than that.” Besides that, were you really the best option to ask for advice? You weren't in a relationship, and now that you thought about it, neither were the two of them.
You saw Chanhee and Younghoon exchange glances and there seemed to be a silent conversation taking place between the two of them. At last, Younghoon gave his counterpart a flourishing gesture with his hand as if saying 'all yours.’ Chanhee cleared his throat. “So Younghoon's friend Kevin, who is Jacob's best friend, introduced JC!Yn to Jacob.”
“And we're pretty sure they like each other,” Younghoon added on. “There was this pool party a couple weekends ago, and they came to the party together. This past weekend, they looked pretty cozy at the movie night that Jacob and Kevin hosted at their apartment, too.”
You had only ever met JC!Yn once in passing, and it was because Chanhee forgot his calculator at the library right before an exam, and she had been the champion to deliver it to him in the examination hall lobby. She was a real one, that was for sure.
You pursed your lips and rested your chin on your fist. “Aren't all of you guys single?” Was what you led with.
Chanhee deadpanned. “That's not the point…”
“I do have to point that out though because you ask me like I would know what to do,” you laughed, vaguely gesturing back to yourself. “I'm just as single as the rest of you.”
The two boys’ eyes whipped back to one another for a millisecond, before looking away.
You nearly leapt to your feet, exclaiming, “I saw that! What was that?”
“Nothing,” they answered at once. They did realize it made them look all the more conspicuous, right?
“We just realized that not all of us are single,” Younghoon raced to smooth over his and Chanhee's fib. “My friend Sangyeon—”
Chanhee snorted, “Hyunjae told me he doesn't believe him.”
“And you believe Hyunjae?”
“Touché.”
You unconsciously began spinning your pencil around your fingers again. “Wait, so Sangyeon is cuffed?”
Younghoon turned to you to explain. Apparently, his original group of friends that didn't include Chanhee's extension, kept a running joke that Sangyeon was either making up his girlfriend or was keeping her stashed on a secret island in the Bahamas. None of them had seen any evidence that she truly existed, but Younghoon wasn't convinced that Sangyeon was the type of person to go through all of this strife just to prove a point.
After all of that, you were more confused than before. “But why wouldn't he just show you a picture of her and prove that he met this girl?”
“That's what I'm saying,” Chanhee interjected, flinging his arms up in the air. “It would be so easy to just silence us with a little picture!”
Younghoon, clearly amused by the discourse taking place, leaned back in his chair with a shrug. “Beats me. I personally think it's because she works for a secret government agency, which is why she can't exist online.”
Chanhee's expression flattened. “Uh-huh.”
“But Juyeon says that it's probably because if he only shows a picture, we might accuse him of Photoshop,” Younghoon continued. “Which, in retrospect, says a lot about his faith in us.”
You made a face, your eyebrows arching high. “Oh, for sure.”
Debating on conspiracy theories about mystery girlfriends made the last thirty minutes of yours and Chanhee's shift fly by fast. Suffice to say, you hadn’t worked on your application nearly as much as you wanted to, but you were entertained for thirty minutes, which was just as well. Didn’t doctors say that it was good to laugh at least three times a day…? Good thing you weren’t going into medicine.
The three of you started packing everything up at exactly nine-thirty. There was no reason to stay any longer when there was literally no one else here anyway.
As you shoved your laptop into your backpack, Younghoon knocked on the table in front of you. “Wanna grab dinner after this?”
You opened your mouth to reply when Chanhee beat you to it. He hadn’t seen Younghoon grab your attention, and didn’t know who he was addressing. “Oh, that’s nice of you to as—”
“I meant Yn.”
You closed your eyes and sank your teeth into your bottom lip to have some dignity left (read: not start wheezing). Chanhee’s eyes had gone wide, eyebrows rocketing back up to his hairline. He scoffed, “Wow.”
Younghoon grinned cheekily. “Sorry, Chanhee. We have a routine.”
With Chanhee now thoroughly offended, your little trio filed out of the tutoring center. You locked the doors up behind you once you flicked off all the lights in the room. The walk down in south campus was arguably nicer than north campus, even if you were a little biased because this was where you considered your “turf” to be. South campus was much better illuminated than north campus with pretty, little lamp posts and five different styles of architecture from building to building. You were sure it was an eyesore to any of the architecture majors here, but they were interesting to look at when you were suffering in the engineering library. (And at least they had windows.)
You took up the position in between Younghoon and Chanhee, the latter of whom seemed to let his pettiness about the rejected dinner date go.
“Guys,” Younghoon suddenly said. The corner of his lips were turned upward in a degree you could only define as mischievous. “What is the most terrifying word in physics?”
You scrunched your brows together. There was no way you should get this wrong, but then again, physics wasn't exactly a subject where anyone got everything right—
“Oops.”
You snorted, and beside you, Chanhee's lip wobbled as he desperately held in a reaction. You couldn't believe you didn't see this coming and tried to think about it logically.
Younghoon shoved his hands in his pockets and swiped his tongue over his lower lip through a smile. “Aw, come on! I cracked up when I heard that one in a TikTok for the first time.”
“I've just heard some of your better ones,” you confessed. “Chanhee, did I tell you that Younghoon used to wax poetic to study for calc?”
Chanhee's mouth curled up into an amused little smile. “You did! I think it's cute.”
“You know, I think it's cute, too.”
In the dim lighting from the nearby lamp posts, Younghoon's cheekbones flushed something rosy. “You flatter me.”
As the three of you climbed up the stairs that would bring you to main campus, Chanhee piped up, “What if we just slipped Jacob and JC!Yn notes from the other person?”
You shook your head. “Not this again.”
“I'm serious!” He said in earnest. “It would just be innocent, little pick-up lines or something. Nothing like a whole ass confession.”
“We're reading Much Ado About Nothing in my Shakespeare lecture right now,” said Younghoon, “and the cast does something similar to one of the couples they're trying to get together. Sounds kind of fun, to be honest.”
“Not you, too!”
Younghoon slung an arm around your shoulders and flourished his free arm out toward the heavens. There was a pleasant feeling attached to the weight of his arm around you. “C’mon, use that mastermind brain of yours and imagine! Jacob's would just say something like—I dunno—if I whispered in thine ear that thou hast a body of beauty, wouldst thou hold it against me?”
“Wow,” you marveled, ignoring the amount of fluttering happening in your stomach, “that was pretty good.”
He flashed you a boyish smile. “Thank you.”
“But you're not doing it.”
The boys on either side of you released twin groans of anguish into the night, as if their mother had just denied them access to their Xbox for the evening. You rolled your eyes lightly. “I feel like relationships are like spontaneous processes—they’ll get to the right configuration eventually, organically. In other words, we should leave them be and let them figure it out for themselves.” You walked in front and turned around to face them so you could pin them both down with a firm look.
Younghoon raised his arms up in playful surrender. “Promise we won't meddle.”
“I hate when you use entropy statistics against me.” Chanhee gave a reluctant nod, sighing once again, “But I agree. We won’t meddle.”
EPISODE EIGHT: DON'T ASK ME THE COLOR OF ANYTHING
IT was the Star Trek theme song that blasted you out of your study bubble. In retrospect, the theme song was quite a subdued piece compared to something like the Star Wars theme, but for some reason you thought it was a good idea to turn the volume all the way up for your ringer whenever you were home. (God forbid you accidentally left it on when you were in class…) From your desk, you scooted over to grab your phone from where it was on your bed. Younghoon's caller ID beamed its cute smile up at you—the picture you'd set was of him and his dog from home, Bori. You had yet to meet Bori, but when you asked him for a picture for his contact photo, he sent this one.
You accepted the call. “Hello?”
“I just realized I pressed Call instead of Facetime. Please accept the Facetime thingy.”
Why did he sound so cute? You lifted the phone away from your ear and saw the request on the screen. While pressing the green accept button, you said to him, “What if I said no?”
“Then it must be Opposite Day,” he sang from the other side of the screen, his face manifesting before you. He was holding his phone up above him so you could see he was lying down in bed, his dark hair strewn over the pillow beneath his head. His initial smile widened to reach his eyes when your side of the screen loaded and he could see you. “There she is.”
“Hi Hoon,” you greeted with a small chuckle. You looked around your cluttered workspace for a place to prop your phone up against.
“What're you up to?” He asked while he adjusted himself to sit up against his headboard.
“I—” you made a sound of accomplishment as your phone stayed upright in the space between your desk lamp and a pebble paperweight painted like a rocket that your little sister made you, “—am brushing up on fluid mechanics.”
“Aah… fluid mechanics.” You could hear the slight intonation in his words.
“Don't say the joke.”
“I wasn't gonna say the joke!” He giggled. When he calmed, he pressed his mouth in a smile and made his cheeks look as squishy as a loaf of bread. “Is this a bad time though?”
You shook your head, slipping your pencil behind your ear so you could lace your fingers beneath your chin. “No, it’s not a bad time. This isn’t super important; I just didn’t want old material to jumpscare me when I go into our quiz this week.”
Younghoon nodded in understanding. “I see, I see. That means it’s good that I interrupted your workaholic tendencies.”
You glanced away with your hand half covering your face, and it coaxed a laugh from him that seemed to warm the room. You sputtered, “In my defense—” you paused, your lips parted; it hit you then that you had no defense.
His eyes were the shapes of upturned crescent moons, like shallow bowls filled with mirth. “It’s cute when you try to deny it.”
“It’s not denial—I didn’t deny it,” you pointed out.
“Uh-huh,” he snorted, completely unconvinced, “whatever you say, Miss Mastermind. I should call you Miss Workaholic instead.”
“Aish,” you chided weakly. You glanced down at the old notes that were splayed out before you on your desk. All of the concepts were relatively familiar to you; it was just to refresh yourself. To be frank, though, it wasn’t like you’d spent all evening reviewing old material. Every thirty minutes or so, you could spend another half hour on your phone, getting lost in the entertainment there. You weren’t that much of a workaholic.
You realized that there had been a pregnant moment of silence just then, and when you looked back over at the phone screen, found him watching you with a certain look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place. You cleared your throat, reaching up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear and to take the pencil there down. “So, uhm, any reason in particular for calling?”
His eyelashes fluttered as he blinked, as if snapping out of a daze. “Hm? Oh, not really. I just wanted to see what you were up to.” He cocked his head to the side in thought. “Random question, but are you doing anything for Halloween?”
Ah, you nearly forgot that was coming up. With all of the chaos happening in your life at the moment, Halloween was the last thing on your mind.
“Not at the moment,” you told him. You mused, “I don’t think I’ve done anything proper for Halloween since I moved out of my childhood house.” Going Trick-or-Treating as an adolescent was definitely a core memory for you, and was still a prevalent tradition in your household because of the little ones, Sadie and Quincey. As you got older, however, you usually opted to stay at home and answer the door to hand out candy. You still dressed up for the fun of it, and decorating the house was always half the joy of the holiday. You always considered trying to build some kind of candy contraption or maybe setting up a haunted maze in the front lawn, but alas, maybe in the future. “What about you?”
“Well, there’s that party that Changmin and Chanhee are hosting at their place.”
That rang a bell. “Ohh, shit. I totally forgot about that.” Chanhee had mentioned something about that the other night at the tutoring center, but you didn’t make any promises about attending—he knew your crowd preferences, so he didn’t push it. You were sure his and his friend’s parties were a blast though.
Younghoon shifted his lounging position, so now he was laying on his stomach with his legs kicking up from behind him. “Would you wanna come with? I remember that you went to that party with Sakura in September, but I wasn’t sure if you were going to come to this one.”
You tapped the end of your pencil against the pages of your notebook. “I’m not really sure,” you confessed. “I think I originally didn’t plan on going.”
“Ah.”
Guilt swirled around in the pit of your stomach at the disappointment in his voice. “I’m sorry; I probably sound like such a party pooper.”
“No, don’t worry about it,” he rushed to assure you. “I get that it might not be something you’re into, and that’s completely fine, you know? I think it would be fun to go with you, but not if you wouldn’t have fun there.”
You inhaled deeply. “I mean… it’s not that I don’t think I would have fun once I—y’know, drank something—but yeah, I think a night of just horror movies or something will do me better.”
He nodded and carded a hand through his hair. “Of course; I understand. And your schedule’s been pretty packed lately, so it’ll be like a little break for you,” he offered.
“Yeah, thanks, Hoon.” You shot him a small smile. It was really cool that he was being so understanding, but you shouldn’t have anticipated anything less from Kim Younghoon. He’d always been this cool.
You learned to read the room, and the energy definitely was lower than before. “Do you know what you’re gonna go dressed as?” You asked in hopes of bringing that energy back up.
He perked up a bit at the question. “I—actually, I have no idea,” he chuckled. “I was thinking a vampire, but I feel like that should just be saved as my backup. That idea’s a little tired.”
Younghoon as a vampire—? Wake up, Yn. You laughed to yourself as a thought popped into your head. “It would be so funny if you showed up as Bill Nye the Science Guy.”
He snorted. “That's not a bad idea. I'm not a science guy, but I am an actor.”
“Hey, there you go,” you said. You pursed your lips. “Hm… I feel like your face is too pretty to fuck up—”
“Thanks?” He guffawed, hand propping his head up. “I'm scared to ask you what that even means.” You didn’t want to tell him exactly what you had in mind, but it seemed that he beat you to a punchline. “To be honest, I'd so let you fuck up my face.”
Your eyes widened. “What?”
“Hyunjae? Hyunjae, is that you?” Younghoon called out behind him toward his closed bedroom door. His ears were rosy as blood, and he was biting his lip through a grin. “I've gotta go, Yn-ie. Byeee!”
“Younghoon, hey! Don't hang—”
He hung up. You took a moment to collect yourself after what he said, as if you could even begin to unpack its meaning.
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You could hear the partygoers even from the relative serenity of the back corner of the convenience store. It was Halloween night, and when the sun sank down into the horizon to signal the coming of night, so too did it mark the beginning of the Hallow's Eve festivities.
You had just dropped Sakura off at one of her friends’ house for a party, and she would text you later when she was done. The plan tonight was originally to chill at home and watch scary movies, but you instead found yourself at your second home with your laptop playing The Nightmare Before Christmas. On your head sat a deep purple colored witch's hat on a headband, with glittery black tulle creating a skirt at its base. Even if you didn't dress up completely, you would still pop on a bit of holiday spirit.
With you was a 6-pack of Halloween themed mini cupcakes and a carton of strawberry milk. They would function as your popcorn for the movie and your candy for the night.
From beside you on the table, your phone buzzed. You could see the words diffuse rapidly onto your screen, your eyes snagging on the parts where your older sister was asking about Sakura coming to the wedding even though she was supposed to be in Japan. Your eyes widened as you scrambled to text back. Fuck, the wedding. You texted back a very fast, ‘uhm abt that.’
daphne: ykw don't tell me anything ignorance is bliss daphne: okay what i came here to do originally… daphne: *sent images* your phone: awwwh how cute!! wait wtf since when was quincey into power rangers 😭😭 daphne: dear god don't get me started
You laughed and sent her a final text back commenting about the pictures she sent of her, Sam, Sadie, and Quincey all dressed up to go Trick-or-Treating tonight. As usual, your family extended an invitation to you, but you declined for this year.
“Damn, I should've dressed up like the power rangers.”
You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sudden voice right by your ear, and you ripped your earbud out, whipping around to see who it was. There was Younghoon, laughing at your expense with a very amused smile flitting over his face from your reaction.
About five different emotions passed over you at once, preventing you from coming up with an adequate response to his sudden appearance. Your mouth, frankly, had gone dry. His hair was colored and highlighted with strands of platinum silver, artfully arranged around a pair of black sunglasses atop his head. He was clad in all black—the leather jacket seated on his shoulders embellished with white detailing, and his skin glimmering with silver chains. He had on a pair of motorcycle gloves that he was now shucking off, and you realized his lips were a shade darker than they usually were—wait… were they moving?
“—Yn. Yn-iee—”
You blinked long and hard. “Yeah. I'm here.”
The corner of his lips curled upward. “I just said I was sorry for sneaking up on you.”
“Oh.” Wait, he smelled so good right now… Not that he didn't smell good every other day, but…
“Oh,” he parroted with a cock of his eyebrow. “So, what do you think?” He asked the question you didn't even realize you would fear him to ask, and gestured down to the outfit. Younghoon sighed and it sounded half like a laugh. “I feel ridiculous actually. Hyunjae was like—you should do the biker thing with me. And I was like, what do you mean 'biker thing?’ Apparently this is the biker thing.”
You were slapping yourself across the face internally to say something. “You went from Prius driver to motorcycle rider.”
Younghoon nearly keeled over and had to turn to the side to laugh. “I still am a Prius driver,” he said sheepishly.
Your eyes flickered up and down his form again, unable to string together words once more. “Uhm, your hair is silver.”
“Excellent observation.” He reached over and poked the little witch hat on top of your head. “This is cute, by the way.”
“Thanks,” you said with a smile, reaching up to touch either side of the headband. “I'm just here waiting for Kkura.”
“Oh, are you guys watching something together?”
You shook your head and turned back to your computer screen to wake it up. “No, I volunteered to be her chauffeur tonight. She's at a party right now, but I figured since I had time to kill, I could chill here.”
“It feels like a crime for you to be here all alone,” he said with one of his hands braced against the back of your chair and the other on the table next to your laptop. He was leaning over you now to peer at your screen because the brightness of the store lights made it difficult to see from where he stood, but it made him all the more apparent to your senses.
Goddamn, he was everywhere. “Well, I should be asking you as to why you're here,” you said with a cough. “Don't you have a party to go to, Biker Boy?”
He chuckled at the nickname and stood back up. “I do, but Chanhee and Changmin forgot to get triple A batteries for their battery-operated creepy candy bowl,” he said. “But I'm glad I was sent out to run an errand now.”
You shifted your mouth to the side in a sorry attempt to hide your contentment with that answer. “I'm glad, too. You—the costume looks good, by the way.”
Younghoon sat down in his usual seat across from you. “Thank you,” he replied, pleased. “I almost went out as a loaf of bread. Did you know Party City has these bread loaf costumes that you can wear around your head?”
“I'm not surprised at all,” you said, shaking your head in amusement.
You found yourself unhappy with the idea of Younghoon leaving after this. Once your conversation was over, you would go back to your movie and he would go back to his party. Before, you didn't mind the idea of having an evening to yourself, but with him right here in front of you, it was difficult to go back.
Him being here with you felt right. You couldn't explain why you felt that way. He looked like he was about to say something, and you rushed to beat him to it. “Want a cupcake?” You blurted. Before you could go back on your words, you gently pried a miniature cupcake out from its containment and offered it to him.
Younghoon lit up, delicately transferring the treat to his own hands. “I wasn't going to ask, but don't mind if I do. Thanks, Yn.”
You hummed happily as he peeled off the cupcake wrapper and took a generous bite. He did a little happy dance in his seat, and you smiled half into your fist as you leaned part of your cheek onto it.
“That's actually so good,” he said with wide, confused eyes as he reached toward the furthest end of the table for a napkin in the aluminum canister. “Why haven't I tried those before? I think I'm gonna have to take some back.”
“I don't have them often, but they are quite the guilty pleasure,” you agreed. “I would totally sponsor a couple packs for you to take to the party.”
Younghoon made a nodding motion with his head as he dabbed the napkin over his lips. He pulled the napkin away to inspect it, frowning. “Shit, I need to reapply,” he murmured and fished around in his jacket pocket for a tube of the shade that he had wiped off his lips.
Some force from the universe compelled you to do something fucking stupid. “I can help.” No, you can't! Why would you say that, why would you say—
Surprise flickered across his face. “Oh? Sure, I'd appreciate it,” he said, and held the lip gloss out to you. It was a muted brown-ish pink color that would leave a stain of itself upon the wearer's lips, but also had an initial glossy appearance.
With no room for backpedaling, you stood up and took the lip product from him. You stood before him now, between his legs with his hands resting on his knees.
He peered up at you through his dark lashes, lips parted gently.
You wiped the excess product off the doe foot applicator against the rim of the packaging, and then smeared the product over his bottom lip. You took your finger to smudge the color around, making quick work with a second layer for shine. When you were done, you hadn't even realized you'd been holding your breath the whole time. You passed the lip product back to him quietly. “All done,” you whispered.
He didn't even look at your handiwork—he didn't need to. He smiled; you thought you saw him steal a glance at some place other than your eyes. “Thanks, love.”
You were right before when you thought you would dread him leaving. He did go, at some point, after retrieving what he had come here for along with at least three half-dozen containers of cupcakes. He sent you a wave from the door, and then he was gone into the night.
You sat there without doing much or thinking anything for a moment or two, your fingertips stained with the color of his lips.
Regret wormed a hole through your stomach, and it felt like it was gaping wide open. Maybe you should've gone to the party, or maybe you should have asked him to stay. Maybe you should have said something different, and maybe… maybe you should have…
Kissed him?
Your eyes stared unblinkingly at the seat across the table from you, and you arrived at a truth you could no longer ignore.
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your phone: how do u know u like a guy
kkuramon &lt;3 : IM LEAVING THIS PARTY RIGHT NOW.
EPISODE NINE: ARE YOU A CHICKEN, YN? I DIDN'T THINK SO!
“I'M not going to tell him.”
“Yn,” Sakura said gravely with a deep inhale, “for the last time, are you a chicken?”
You blinked. “I'm sorry, wha—”
“Bawk bawk. Are you a chicken?”
You narrowed your eyes slightly at her. It was a crazy image, this view of your best friend, as she stood in front of you with her futuristic spacecore outfit from the Halloween party she left early, squawking like a chicken. “I think you are drunk.”
Sakura deadpanned. “I'm not drunk.”
“And I'm in denial.”
“Oh, good. So you admit it.”
After rapid discourse in your texts, you went to pick Sakura up from her party, then brought her straight home so you could both deconstruct what exactly you concluded while at the convenience store. You recalled everything that happened while Younghoon was there with you, reliving that exact moment it hit you square in the face like an oncoming train.
And now you were here, being asked if you were a chicken and being accused of denial.
You huffed. “I can't just tell him that I like him! It's not—it’s not that big of a deal. It's not like I'm in love with him or anything!” You… you weren't in love, were you…?
Sakura braced both hands on her hips. “You say it's not a big deal, but here we are,” she said with a vague gesture to your bedroom. “Honey,” she continued, but softer, “whether you're in love with him or you just like him more than a friend, it's something. It's different. Are you sure you never felt anything for him before? Not even unconsciously?”
“I mean—” you started, “—I might have. I probably have,” you corrected, cradling your chin in your palm. “I thought he was really cool when I met him last year, but I think that was just one of those silly crushes, y'know? Like the ones you get on people you pass by and know you probably won't meet again?”
She hummed and lowered herself onto the edge of your bed. “Yeah, I get that.”
You scooted your desk chair over to where she was and flopped face first over your bed with a groan. You felt her hand gently smooth down the back of your head. “I dunno, Kkura. Maybe I've always felt something different about him.”
“That could be it,” she said. “And you just didn't realize until it was in your face. Sometimes it sneaks up on you.”
If that wasn't the understatement of the century.
“Why are you so scared of telling him, Yn-ie? From everything I've seen and heard from you, it feels like he probably feels the same way.”
“I'm biased.”
Sakura exhaled. “Logic your way out of this one.”
“Okay, if I logic my way out of this one, I could still get rejected.”
You could feel her eyes roll, even with your face smooshed into the sheets. “I know the prospect of all this is scary, but it's meant to be. That means you care, Yn. That means you care about your friendship with Younghoon, and that's inherently a good thing.”
When you didn't say anything else in response, she added, “You know your feelings will intensify if you leave them unaddressed. Murphy's Law.”
You hated when she was right.
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You didn't see Younghoon for at least another week. Once Halloween had gone and passed, November hit everyone in one big fell swoop. Midterms the Sequel was abound, and it did not choose mercy. But amongst the abundance of fires cropping up, you managed to spray some water on a couple to keep the flames tame. (Do not do this to real fires; it won't help.)
It was the middle of the week when you and Younghoon agreed to meet back at the convenience store to hang out. Over the past few days, you kept your interactions with him over text and call as normal as possible, even though you felt like your newly realized feelings were glaringly obvious. If Younghoon thought you were being awkward though, he didn't say.
You and Sakura were in the kitchen right before you were about to take off to head to the convenience store. She was busy making a late lunch (read: dinner); you were busy worrying about everything.
“I've got an idea,” she said, raising the spatula in her hand into the air. “You should bring Younghoon to the wedding.”
You nearly choked on air. “I'm sorry? Say that again.”
With her back turned to you, she gave an emphasized shrug. “If you insist. I was suggesting that you bring Younghoon to the wedding instead of me. It would be killing two birds with one stone.”
“How in the world is that killing two birds with one stone?”
“Well, when you inevitably confess your feelings to him, and he confesses that he reciprocates, you will then have a date for the wedding.” She turned the stove off before twirling around on her slippered-heel, a proud smile on her face. “Ta-da!”
“I just think that if—and big emphasis on if—we do end up together, a wedding would be a lot as an outing.” You imagined how horrific and intimidating that would be, meeting your entire family and extended family after only just deciding to try out dating someone. Even thinking about it sounded overwhelming beyond means, and you couldn't do that to Younghoon.
She angled her head to the side. “But this is Younghoon we're talking about. He literally went to the Space Gala with you on short notice and made you feel safe and comfortable the whole time.”
You sent her a pointed look. “That's not the same thing and you know it.”
She sighed. “Alright. Then what about driving over to meet you at the convenience store at midnight when he had an early rehearsal the next day? He calls you and texts you day and night; he drops by the tutoring center on your shifts to keep you company… I don't know what else you need to convince you.”
You didn't like the spark of hope she was lighting up in your chest. You didn't want to lose a good friend if you were reading him wrong. Was he not charismatic to everyone he met though?
At some point, you got your ass up and down the street. There was a soft tune playing in the background as you wandered through the aisles in search of something to distract you from the anxious racing of your heartbeat. Younghoon had sent you a heads up about an hour ago that he was going to be late because he was coming from an outing, so you had a little more time to mentally prepare. Maybe you would chalk up the courage to tell him. Maybe you really could do it. If you just ripped off the bandaid, whether it be for better or for worse, you could at least say you tried.
You made up your mind then, somewhere in the bread aisle between the wheat and rye.
By the time Younghoon arrived, out of breath and grinning from ear to ear, you managed to hype yourself up to tell him.
“Sorry I'm late,” he said between breaths as he claimed the seat across from you. He paused, sniffing, then grimacing. “And also for the fact that I reek of barbeque.”
“Don't worry about it,” you assured him, teasingly, “the only thing you should be sorry about is not inviting me.”
Younghoon laughed. “You're very right, as always. My friends and I were having an emergency meeting about Jacob and JC!Yn.”
Your eyes widened. “Oh? Any updates?”
He groaned then, burying his face into the palms of his hands. Uh oh. “They almost kissed until Eric interrupted them.”
“No,” you gasped.
“Yes!” He wailed in agony, eyes screwed closed with imaginary tears running down his cheeks. “It was painful to hear but it was also painful watching those two idiots interact at the table. My friends and I, minus JC!Yn and Jacob—we met a little beforehand to talk about what went down when Eric interrupted, and the lovebirds just came in later.” Younghoon huffed a rough sigh from his lips, partnered with a shake of his head. Then he broke into a smile, the corners of the expression soft, as he looked at you from across the table. He rested his cheek against his hand, chin inclining toward you, “So what's going on with you, hm? I feel like we haven't seen each other in ages.”
“We did call on Tuesday,” you pointed out.
He wrinkled his nose with a frown and shrugged. “It's not the same. I missed you.”
Your heart was beating so loud that you could count them out—thump, thump, thump— “I—missed you, too,” you said in earnest. Tell him, Yn. Tell him.
“You know, I think it's funny how we lost touch for so long, but we eventually came back together,” he murmured as he absentmindedly traced out shapes along the table top. “I guess if it's meant to be, then it'll be.”
The way he worded it… you were spinning yourselves in circles in your head trying to define it, to crack it open and solve it like you could a word problem. If the rotator wheel spins at a velocity of—but at this point, you were certain that you could figure out one of those much faster than this. “Yeah,” you agreed quietly.
“Something on your mind, Yn?” He asked you then. His eyes returned to you and you were suddenly stuck. The earth stopped spinning for this single moment in time, all because of the way this man looked at you.
You swallowed. “I…” The words dissipated in your throat. You couldn't do it.
Younghoon waited patiently, though. He considered you and your wide eyes filled with something he didn't know how to label, and maybe a dash of another thing he hoped to find. “Why don't we take a walk?”
With no reason to refuse, you stood up from your seat with him. He smiled at you as he brushed his hand over your back to guide you to the door, then retracted it to tuck his hand into his pocket.
November had so far shown the city a brisk, deep autumn. The trees were already close to completely shedding their leaves for the oncoming winter, and they were often swept away by a cool draft. You zipped up your jacket as the two of you began walking in the direction opposite to your apartment. Whichever way the wind took you both, you supposed.
For the first time in a long time, you and Younghoon were quiet. You were trapped in your own head with the courage you had earlier having mysteriously disappeared. He seemed content enough to let you ponder on it and to speak whenever you were ready.
“My cousin is getting married,” you found yourself saying.
That didn't seem to be the thing he expected to come from your mouth. Surprise flashed across his features and he clambered for a response. “Oh, well, congratulations. When's the wedding?”
“Thanks.” You said, “It’s in December. I… you know I have a big family.”
“Right.” His gaze softened considerably. “I imagine it must be a lot for you then—a family event of that size.”
You realized that you didn't convey exactly what you wanted to get across, and yet, you were reminded again how much he cared. “Yeah,” you murmured. “My brother Justin isn't gonna be able to make it after we already RSVP'd under my immediate family of seven people, and so my mom and I are trying to find someone to fill that space. She wanted to invite this one guy—he was my next-door neighbor for some time. Not my favorite person in the world because he's kind of got it out for me,” you said next.
You were rounding the corner again to loop back down the street toward your apartment. The organ in your chest was flying against your ribcage now; there wasn't much time left to tell him. You could see the metaphorical sand in the glass draining.
“So you're not going to invite this guy then, right?”
You nodded. “And I offered up Sakura just to appease her for the time being, but Sakura's gonna be in Japan in December.”
Younghoon trapped his bottom lip between his teeth. “I see.”
“That's my… that's my dilemma.” No, that isn't your only dilemma, Yn! Tell him! But the apartment was coming up in view, and you would be at the entrance in just a few more minutes.
You and Younghoon slowed your pace as you rounded the block again to cross the street. When you glanced over at him, you swore you could see the conflict warring across his face. If he saw gears turn in your head, you could see a battle scene in his eyes.
“Is this all that's been bothering you?” He asked at last, and you didn't know what to do about the slight intonation in his voice, like he was hoping for something. “I'm not invalidating your stress or anything, I was just—you know, if you had anything else you needed to get off your chest—”
“No, it's just that.” You could practically hear Sakura clucking like a chicken from wherever she was. You quickly added as the apartment door came into view, “It's—it’s not a big deal—finding a plus one, I mean. I'll figure it out.”
Plus one. He'd been your plus one to the Space Gala, but this was different. This was so much more different than that.
But maybe your words sounded like a dismissal or he was thrown off today. He cupped the back of his neck with a small nod. “Okay. If you need anything, let me know.”
“Thanks, Hoon.”
He smiled then, the same soft-cornered one that reached his eyes, and that you'd come to be familiar with. You couldn't imagine seeing that face reject your feelings even if you knew he would probably let you down easily.
EPISODE TEN: YOU SPELL PARALLELISM WITH THREE L'S BECAUSE THERE ARE THREE LOSERS
THE engineering library at nine o'clock at night was a familiar environment for you, Chanhee, and Jungwoo. Dead week—the week before finals—meant that it saw the three of you twice as much, even on the weekend before Dead week began. It didn't mean you got studying done though. Sometimes you were just there.
“You guys are so fake! How could I not be updated on every single microevent in your lives?” Jungwoo cried, gesticulating his hands around far too fast for your brain to comprehend. He was about three shots of espresso and five hours in, if that explained things. You were all aware that your habits were not healthy, but no college kid was. “And you call me your friend?”
The thing that had triggered this reaction from Jungwoo had been Chanhee's fault. Or maybe that was your fault. Either way, the topic somehow had gone from calculating your respective grades with probable curves (calculating failure, at this rate) to you and Younghoon.
You liked to argue there was no you and Younghoon—it was just you-comma-Younghoon. Chanhee had sassed back at you with a swift, “Oh, so she's an English major now?” As if English majors were the only ones who could understand grammar and punctuation.
Jungwoo, having had no context given whatsoever, realized quickly that he was out of the loop. Now, you were here.
“I demand the tea!” He screeched, hitting the palm of his hand against the table. Thank god there was no one else here to listen in or shush you and your friends. If there was one thing about the engineering library, it was how out of the way it was from the main campus.
“I really don't think you should have anything else caffeinated—”
Jungwoo's head whipped toward you and his nostrils were flared. “You must think you're so funny,” he said with narrowed eyes and a saccharine smile. You would have been scared had you not seen this man once blow a massive snot bubble all over his differential calculus homework. (If anyone found out about that, it most definitely didn’t come from your lips…)
Your eyes shuddered, an innocent smile coming to your lips. “I was just saying.”
“Shuuush!” He stopped, thought about it, then retracted. “Actually, don't shush. Tell me what you and Chanhee know, but I don't.”
Chanhee snorted from his side of the table. “That's a long list.”
Jungwoo cut a glare toward Chanhee. “I despise you both,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Okay, but all jokes aside,” Chanhee said as he tucked his tablet stylus behind his ear. He cocked a high-arched brow your way. “What is going on, Yn? Do update us. Or for Jungwoo’s sake, start from the beginning.”
Your eyes widened like a deer in headlights. You hadn’t expected Chanhee to turn on you, too, but perhaps you should have seen this coming. A generous amount of time had passed since you last failed to confess your feelings to one Kim Younghoon. Between that day and today, you had managed to finally submit your space grant application and passed your second round of midterms by the seat of your pants (hip, hip, hooray). Since that day, you and Younghoon would continue to interact as normal, except for the fact that you were practically walking on eggshells around him.
Just the other day, you both fell asleep while on-call with each other. When you’d woken up the morning afterward, you discovered that, one, it was a good thing you plugged your phone into its charging cord; and two, that Younghoon was just as pretty asleep as he was awake.
To this news, Chanhee merely fluttered his lengthy lashes, unimpressed. “And you’re telling me you don’t think he feels the same way?” He asked.
At some point, Jungwoo had broken out a half-eaten granola bar from his bag to munch on as a replacement for popcorn. “I can’t believe I’ve missed so much,” he said, shoving the bite into his cheek so he could speak. “And Kim Younghoon, Yn? Wooooow, I see you girl. That guy was insane as Charles Bingley in freshman year.”
“You’re so right,” Chanhee chimed in with an indulgent nod, pointing his stylus at Jungwoo. “I don’t know if insane was the right word, but he encapsulated the Bingley gent essence quite nicely.”
“I never saw that one,” you confessed.
Jungwoo’s face scrunched up on one side. “Clearly. At least he knows that you’re not just in it for his celebrity status.”
You leaned back in your chair and dragged your hands down the length of your face with an embarrassed groan. Only your guy friends; Chanhee and Jungwoo, as expected, gave a light laugh at your expense. “I don't like you guys.”
“C’mon Yn-ie,” Chanhee teased and reached over to poke your arm with the butt of his stylus pen. When you peeked one eye out between your fingers, he puckered his lips at you like a penguin. “Love you.”
You reluctantly slid your hands down. “If I'm gonna be clowned for my feelings, I'd rather be in bed!” You declared, taking your phone from the pile at the center of the table to check the time. It was nearly ten o'clock at this rate. Ah, and had anything productive been done? Absolutely none. Perfectly on track for the three of you.
“Nooo, don't go, Yn! You're too sexy,” Jungwoo whined.
“I think you should tell Younghoon your feelings,” said Chanhee. He hiked his feet onto the chair, hugging his knees to his chest. “You need to razz him up.”
You frowned. “I thought it was ‘rizz.’”
“You don't have rizz, though, so I thought razz would be the next best thing,” he said flippantly.
“Burn!” Jungwoo exclaimed with his hand cupped around his mouth, and you were suddenly reminded that he was in a frat.
You leaned your cheek against the palm of your hand with a dramatic sigh. “You're right; I do not have rizz.”
Chanhee's brows scrunched together in concern. “Oh my god, I thought you would fight back—of course, you have rizz, Yn! You snagged Kim Younghoon!”
Before you could tell him you’d given up on fighting back or before Jungwoo could give up on his sanity, Chanhee's phone buzzed from where it was sitting at the center of the table. You expected it to be Chanhee's friend, CH!Yn, since she was the most probable person texting at this hour; instead, Chanhee let out a delighted gasp, slapping his hand to his mouth at whatever notification he found waiting for him.
Both you and Jungwoo leapt to your feet and scrambled to peer over his shoulders. “What? Who is it?”
“It's JC!Yn,” he shrieked. “She's asking about flower shops.”
You and Jungwoo stayed perched over either of Chanhee's shoulders to see what would transpire. It was a brief exchange within the group chat of three people that included JC!Yn, Changmin, and Chanhee. Chanhee somehow knew about a flower shop in the university district that was open until eleven o'clock. After all your years of attending this school, you had no idea it even existed.
But once JC!Yn was off on her way, Chanhee turned his phone off with a prediction that he would not be hearing from her until at least tomorrow morning. “Looks like someone's getting confessed to tonight,” he snickered to himself.
Jungwoo was back in his original seat—a generous wording, since he leaned a good eighty percent of his body over the table with his knees braced on the chair, legs kicking up behind him. “You know what you should do, Yn? You should sweep Younghoon off his feet just like that. I'm sure he adores receiving flowers.”
“Would it not be as special though if he gets flowers after every show?” You asked genuinely, pressing the butt of your pen between your lips. “I'm not against getting him flowers.” Flowers would be a good idea… you'd seen plenty of movies that had romanticized the idea of giving and receiving flowers in your mind, and it would be an obvious gesture. At the very least, you could pull a Younghoon and tell him the flowers reminded you of him because they were gorgeous—or something to that effect. Maybe you really didn't have rizz…
Jungwoo shrugged with one of his shoulders. “I'm sure it would be special coming from you. I dunno. It's just something to think about.”
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“So,” Juyeon drawled with his head lolling over the back of the couch to look over at Younghoon, “now that Jacob's situation is solved, what about you?”
Younghoon glanced up from his phone. “What about me?”
There were five of them holed up in Sangyeon's apartment presently, and four of them had invaded the eldest friend's abode to hoard his TV and play Super Smash Brothers. He was the only one with a working TV and decent WiFi to game on that wasn't Jacob and Kevin's apartment. Only, a couple hours in, Juyeon received a text message from Eric with a live update that JC!Yn was going to confess to Jacob.
Eric had ended his update with an ominous: Tell Kevin hyung he shouldn't go home tonight 🤣. That definitely livened up the place.
Kevin sat up from where he had been lying on the floor. “Oh, yo, you're so right. What's going on with you and Yn?”
Younghoon's eyes widened. “Nothing.”
“Don't give us that bullshit,” Hyunjae clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Didn't you say that you liked her?” He teased with a glint in his eyes as he wiggled his fingers Younghoon's way.
The man at the heart of the interrogation rolled his eyes and smacked Hyunjae's hand away. “I will not object to having said that I liked her, if that's what you're getting at.” Frankly, he would own up to having admitted that was how he felt about you. So what, he liked you? He wasn't embarrassed by it. The only problem was living with this knowledge and not telling you.
Sangyeon came over from the kitchen to lean against the back of the couch. He had a drink in hand, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “Do you have a plan or are you gonna pull a Jacob and be a chicken?”
Kevin arched a high brow. “Only I can call Cobie a chicken, thank you very much.” He turned on Younghoon next with an accusing finger. “And you—I can't even go home right now, so let's get down to business.”
Younghoon blinked. “What business—”
“Order in the court!” Juyeon interjected. He grinned like a bunny. “Sorry, I know I have to wait until I'm a lawyer first, but it's just so fun to say.”
Sangyeon sputtered a laugh against the rim of his drink, blindly patting Juyeon on the head. “It's cool, man. Very appropriate timing.”
“We should play Marvin Gaye,” said Hyunjae. “It'll get us in the mood to tell Younghoon how to properly woo somebody.”
Younghoon swore his face was probably the shade of a ripe tomato. This was in no way how he thought his evening would go. And to be honest, he never ever expected having this conversation with his friends, ever. The last thing he wanted to do was to make his feelings all the more forward in his mind, and he was already having trouble whenever he was around you, and all you did was remind him of all the reasons why he wanted to be with you.
The thing was that he couldn't tell if you reciprocated his feelings. Sure, he could flirt and insert himself into your life all he wanted. But you could just be playing nice!
…actually, you probably were just playing nice. Dear god, he was back at square one.
He simply didn't want to lose your friendship, at the very least. Even if you didn't want to be with him in that way, he would pull up his big boy pants and be a friend to you instead. Then he wouldn't have to live without seeing you smile or listening to you work out problems aloud while he did mundane things in the background—
“And we lost him.”
Younghoon cleared his throat, raising a hand up to scratch his jawline. “You did not lose me,” he protested. The amount of attention on him right now was uncanny. Of course, he could go up onstage and be a character—but reality was different. He couldn't put on a mask or another personality; these people knew him… wasn't that scary? And yet, somehow freeing, at the same time.
Kevin inclined his chin to him with a little smirk. “You did have hearts in your eyes, my dude.”
“Aww, he's in love,” Sangyeon gushed while standing up to go refill his drink.
“I'm not in love!” He said with his index finger pointed at the sky. (He was in love. Of course, he knew he was in love. Because when all he did for the past three months of his life besides school was be around you and think about you and you you you… how could he not? Younghoon could fake any emotion in the world in front of an audience of people, but your eyes alone would devastate him.)
The entire apartment, sans Younghoon, chorused altogether now, “Yes, you are.”
Younghoon balked, rocketing upright. “There is no way all of you agreed on something for the first time and it was this.”
Hyunjae patted his friend's thigh from his position on the floor. “Believe it, Lover Boy. So what're you gonna do about it?”
“I wouldn't even know how to tell her,” Younghoon huffed, leaning back against the couch cushion with his arms crossed over his chest in thought.
That day when you'd told him about the wedding, he had been so hopeful that you were going to say something about feelings. He was so certain that he read you right, but you said nothing else afterward. He would totally go to that wedding with you, though; he just figured you might not want him to go, considering you'd dismissed it so quickly afterward.
Sangyeon came back to the couch and perched himself onto the arm of the sectional next to Juyeon. “It doesn't have to be fancy—you just need to be clear and straightforward.”
“Flowers could soften the blow,” suggested Juyeon.
Kevin chuckled. “For him or for Yn?”
Younghoon clicked his tongue at him with a playful scowl. “Quiet, you. But thanks, guys. I guess I just want to do this right. I don't wanna ruin what we already have.”
Juyeon pursed his lips and reached over to clasp his hand on his friend's shoulder. “You won't, man. I guarantee you that.”
“So if I get my heart broken, I can sue you for false advertisement?” Younghoon asked with his lips stretched in a grin, eyelashes fluttering innocently.
“Pssh,” Juyeon laughed, “try me.”
EPISODE ELEVEN: THE USUAL TIME & PLACE
IT was a frightening sequence of events when you texted Younghoon and he texted you at the same time. The Monday after Chanhee and Jungwoo had hyped you up to confess, you went around different items of furniture in your apartment with your phone in hand, pencil behind your ear, trying to work up the courage again to send the text.
And you did… eventually.
The usual time and place was decided upon, and it had snuck up on you as the day went on. You tied your shoes on and slipped out the door, making sure to pat your pocket down for where you had tucked your secret weapon for the night. As soon as you and Younghoon had confirmed a meeting for today, you ran to your (favorite) grad student, Seulgi, and asked very nicely for her set of keys into the planetarium, promising to treat her to brunch if she did.
The walk over to the convenience store was a jitter-filled one. Your stomach was doing cartwheels alongside the flips your heart performed in your chest. There was still activity on the streets, even at nine o’clock on a Dead week evening. You jumbled through the routine you had in mind over and over, a broken record of hopes and wants. The plan was to take a walk to the planetarium and use said walk to work up the courage to tell him. If anything went wrong, then you could cover it up with a cool presentation of stars overhead.
This isn’t lame, is it? You thought to yourself as you let yourself into the store. You were so in your head, you nearly didn’t notice that Younghoon was standing right in front of you, having just walked out of one of the aisles. You startled, breath hitching in your throat.
He smiled, the expression soft. “Hey,” he said to you and had to clear his throat, a hand brushing through his hair. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
“All good; guess my head was just somewhere else,” you laughed nervously. You gripped the key in your pocket until you were sure your skin would smell like metal by the time you got to the planetarium. The two of you had met and hung out here a bundle of times before this, but this time in particular was different. The energy shifted in a way you couldn’t foretell if it was good or bad. For your sake, you hoped it was the former.
“Wanna talk about it?” He asked and took a step toward you.
You inhaled, nodding. “I do,” you said. “I—actually, uhm, do you want to go to the planetarium with me?” From your pocket, you withdrew the keys Seulgi gave you and wiggled them around by the keyring. “I bribed one of my seniors for the keys.”
Younghoon brightened, a laugh falling out of his mouth, and now he was standing right next to you. “Oh my god, you evil genius… my beloved mastermind, are we about to break some rules?” He teasingly bumped your arm with his, his eyebrows wagging up and down.
“Only if you’ll break them with me,” you beamed and reached for the door to the front door.
“But of course,” he played along with a giddiness shining through his expression. “Anything with you. Though, I’d like to stop somewhere on the way first.”
Without even visiting your table in the back of the shop, you and Younghoon took off into the night together. You couldn’t imagine where Younghoon wanted to stop by on the way, but you thought it was probably to run an errand of sorts. But for the moment, it was at the back of your mind as you tried to keep this as normal as possible. “Different” was so intimidating—you wanted to sink into the comfort that was whatever you and Younghoon had.
It wasn’t difficult to slip into that normalcy, though. He always made it so easy.
“—and they did so well, Yn-ah. You need to come back and see them in person; they’re always asking me where you are,” he told you with an invigorated passion. He gave a feigned sniffle. “Pretty sure they like you more than me.”
You shook your head, laughing, “You’re so dramatic. They love you, Hoon. I mean, I can’t even believe that they would remember me after having met them only once!”
“Well,” he drawled, glancing away for a spell, “that might be my doing.” He confessed sheepishly, “I do talk about you a lot—but hey! You can’t blame me! I like talking about subjects that mean a lot to me.”
Your heart made a full stop in your chest, and you nearly physically halted in the middle of the walkway. The gears in your head could barely process what he had just said without going into a spiral. It was a reminder of what this night was originally about. You sputtered out a reply, “You’re too sweet, you know that?”
“I try,” he jested.
“I do finish all my finals next week by Tuesday,” you told him. “I can totally come by that Wednesday and Friday for a little wing fitting. When’d you say the show was?”
He squinted one of his eyes in thought. “Err… it should be the Friday night after next, but if you do come through with those props, that should still give them enough time to get used to them before the performance.”
You nodded, mentally mapping out your schedule. Once your finals were through, you would have plenty of time to tinker with the props and have some proper fun after such a long quarter. “Sounds like a plan.”
“I appreciate it a lot, Yn,” he said, ducking his head as he nudged you with his elbow, “thank you in advance. I call you a workaholic, but here I am encouraging it.”
You chuckled. “It’s no trouble, Younghoon. Seriously. I like doing crafty things, and it’ll be a nice project. I promise.” To the end of that, you stressed further, “And if you think about it like you’re encouraging my hobbies and passions, then it feels a lot less like work.”
He hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose you’re right.” His head perked up when his eyes caught onto something in the near distance. His fingers unconsciously caught onto your wrist. “Here it is.”
Wherever you expected to find yourself, it was not a flower shop. There was no shop name or title anywhere that you could see, just the sketched posters and advertisements in the windows of chrysanthemums and hydrangeas. Troughs of vivid blooms lined the front windows like testaments to the plants one might expect to find within. Hanging planters dangled from the overhang, vines and foliage spilling over in an elegant mess.
There was one other sign posted in the window of the door that read its opening hours from 8am to 11pm.
Younghoon's cheekbones seemed to flush in the light streaming out from the inside of the shop. “Shall we?” He asked shyly and grabbed the door handle to open it for you.
You stepped inside before him with the door closing behind the two of you softly. You weren't sure where to go first—the room was constructed with two long tables in the center to hold smaller planters, then the perimeter was covered nearly from floor to ceiling with the larger plants, as well as the hanging garden pots like the ones outside hung from the ceilings by the lights.
There was someone to the right side of the room with a large, green watering can in hand. She glanced up when she heard the two of you come in. “Hi! How can I help you two?” She asked, reaching up to take out one of the earbuds she had in.
Younghoon placed one of his hands on your shoulder. “Would you mind if we took a look around?”
“No, not at all. Help yourselves; if you need anything, don't hesitate to holler.”
He smiled, “Sounds good, thank you!”
Did he know what he was here for? You followed him toward the leftmost table, unsure of where to wander yourself since there was so much stimuli. He stopped at one of the pots and you stood beside him. Leaning closer, you whispered, “I don't really know what we're looking at.”
“Me neither,” he admitted with an embarrassed grin, but then he pulled out a planter tag at the front of the pot he was examining. “But these might help.”
“You're probably right,” you mused, patting him on the arm.
“Look, these are carnations.” He scooted over to the next one over. There were an array of different colors of them, ranging from white to the deepest red. He placed a finger against his lips, then pointed at the white ones. “Those mean innocence, and those—” these were directed toward the blush pink ones, “—something along the lines of 'I'll never forget you.’”
You still stood close to him, and you reached over to gently warm the velvety petals between your fingertips. “I hope it's okay to touch them,” you suddenly said, swiftly retracing your fingers and peering over your shoulder at the worker.
“I'm sure it's okay,” he chuckled. He pointed out a buttery yellow set of petals a few pots down. “Aren't these gorgeous?” He breathed in awe.
When you arrived at the petal of choice, you raised the tag to see its name—daffodils. They were beautiful indeed, with pristine petals and tall stems, the color of them a rich yellow as if it had been painted rather than grown.
“What do these mean?” You asked.
“Unrivaled love? I think,” he answered with a slight tilt of his head.
You considered him for a moment with lips parted. “You're incredible, you know that? How do you know all this?”
His smile sweetened into something that made your chest feel warm. “You say that as if you're not the incredible one. But, Google. Don't look at my search history,” he muttered sheepishly.
It made you smile anyway.
You turned your head to scan the rows upon rows of diversity in one room. You were never quite the foliage fiend, but you could appreciate nature's beauty as much as nature's laws. Even if you might never be able to grow flowers of your own (because trust that you'd tried), as long as these places still existed, you could still admire and appreciate them.
Your eyes snagged onto a bundle of tulips at the front of the shop and you wandered over to take a look. Younghoon trailed after you to see what you wanted to look at, and stopped with you to admire the tulips. Their buds were near perfect, and they varied in so many colors—all soft purples, reds, yellows, pinks.
“Wow,” you said.
“Wow,” he agreed. He caressed the outside petals of one of the bulbs, then took the individual flower by the stem. He took yet another in his opposite hand and faced you. “What did the tulip say to the other tulip?”
You blinked. “Do indulge me.”
“We should put our tulips together and kiss,” he answered, and he pressed his own lips together in a barely contained smile.
You covered your mouth with one hand, a smile of your own blossoming under your palm. “I don't know about that one…”
“I don't be-leaf you when you say you're not a fan of that one.”
At this point, you could feel your face heat up and you could no longer hide your smile. “You're incorrigible.”
“It made you smile,” he quipped back with a smirk. He placed the tulips in his hands gently back into their pot, then swiveled on the balls of his feet. “They’re beautiful.”
“They are,” you agreed.
“Like you.”
Your eyes snapped up to his, but he already had his back turned to you as he surveyed the shop for the person who was on shift. Yet, you still spied the bit of red creeping up the back of his neck, and found yourself content.
“Hi, excuse me!” He caught the worker's attention. “Could we get just a little bundle of these tulips, please? Thank you so much.”
Your eyes widened and you tugged on the sleeve of his jacket. “Younghoon, what're you—”
He had a satisfied smile on his face. “Getting you flowers.”
“You don't need to get me flowers.”
“I’d like to,” he said simply, and that was the end of the conversation.
Less than ten minutes later, you and Younghoon were back out on the sidewalk with a new addition to the group. You cradled a small bouquet of tulips in the crook of your arm. The girl working there tonight had told you that being open so late caught a lot of last minute gift-givers as she wrapped your flowers in a tan colored butcher paper. She seemed to be an expert at tying ribbon bows that were just as beautiful as the flowers she tended, too.
You were already spinning far from your original intentions. You hadn't accounted for Younghoon making this gesture, and you wondered if he planned something for tonight.
Your counterpart suddenly cleared his throat while the two of you resumed your journey to the planetarium. You were only a few minutes away from the planetarium now. “I know I asked earlier if there was something you wanted to talk about,” he said, “but there is something I wanted to also talk about.”
Your heart fumbled over itself. “Uhm, yeah—yes, what's on your mind?”
From where you were on the street, you could see the broad dome of your target building just across the street. There was a rapid leap in your heart rate as he faced you beneath the street light shining over your heads like some kind of strangely timed, solo spotlight. The crosswalk turned green, but you stayed rooted to your place.
“I've been trying to figure out how to tell you this,” he began. He sucked in a deep breath and swallowed. You could only imagine how long he spent training himself to hold a poker face, but it was the liminal spaces where you could see right through him. “I like you a lot, Yn. It's—it’s an overwhelming amount, what I feel about you.”
You peered over at him wordlessly and hung onto every syllable coming from his mouth.
He wrung his hands out; this perhaps wasn't a script he was prepared for. But who ever came prepared for something like this? “And I think it's pretty obvious what I was hoping for tonight to be like from the flowers and all, and I was hoping that I was being just as obvious with how I felt about you, and… I don't know. I just… I had to tell you.” His lips pressed together so that the small divot in the side of his cheek appeared.
You didn't know how to describe the wave of emotion that washed over you. There was the rapid heart beat thundering in your ears, the tingle of relief in your shoulders, the happiness taking flight in your stomach.
“I have to be honest, I—I feel the exact same way you do.” You ducked your head, tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “And I didn't know how to tell you either because I was really scared.” Your voice tripped, and you picked yourself back up. He waited for you, as always, patiently letting you say your piece. “I didn't want to lose you as a friend, at the very least, because you've come to mean so much to me over these past few months.”
Younghoon's smile widened and the amber color from the streetlight above haloed around his head for one dizzying second. “I didn't want to lose you either. I'm literally head over heels for you; you're every… you're everything.”
You didn't know how else to express your feelings through words, and you wrapped your arms around his middle, the flowers coming around his back to avoid being crushed. “Not good at words, sorry,” you mumbled into the fabric of his jacket.
You could feel the vibrations of his warm chuckle as he slowly wrapped his arms around you, his lips pressing against the side of your head. Message received.
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Not everything went to plan, and it was important to exercise flexibility in such times. You still snuck (broke) into the planetarium with Younghoon, hand-in-hand, but all feelings were already known and laid sprawled on the table.
There was a center platform in the main showcase hall that was carpeted in a layer of fake grass that you and Younghoon gladly lounged upon to watch the universe. The image projected above your heads now of faraway solar systems and galaxies was unfortunately not real—they were produced by a specific software rather than the lens of a telescope. It was breathtaking, nonetheless.
You laid with your back against the fake grass next to Younghoon, your arms pressed against one another. The light projecting onto the dome above filtered down and painted you both in colors of stars and dark matter, all of those swirls of oranges and purples and blues and white.
“There is one thing that's still on my mind.”
He hummed. “What's that?”
“I was wondering—and you can totally say no—but the wedding…” You glanced over at him, and you wondered if he could understand what you were probing at. “I was wondering if you'd be comfortable going as my plus one. It's just the reception, but I understand if it's a lot.”
He smiled at you, big and bright, “I'd love to go as your plus one.”
Relief and joy fluttered in your chest now. It was a miracle your heart didn't grow wings and fly out then. “Thank you, really.”
His fingers inched over yours until they intertwined as a silent acknowledgement. He knew. He always knew somehow.
In the silence, you returned your gaze up to the night sky. It was crazy how vast the universe was and how small you were in relation to it. When put into perspective, your problems here on Earth were so much smaller than the world—and yet, they were still important.
“When I was a kid,” you started to say, and heard a small sound from your right as he looked back over at you, “I wanted to touch the stars.” You turned your head to look back at him.
His lip quirked upward fondly. “Something of yours will touch the stars one day.”
“I hope so,” you mused back. That was the dream.
His eyes dropped down to your mouth now, and everything quieted, as if you were in a vacuum with only the two of you. In this reality, no one and nothing else existed.
You could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin as he leaned toward you and pressed his lips against yours. His body rolled half over yours, one hand cupping your jaw with a tenderness you were certain to become addicted to. It was your chest against his, your nose slotting beside his, your cheek beneath his thumb. His lips were a perfect marriage of pressure and softness at once.
When he pulled away, he didn't go far. “I think I just touched a star,” he murmured.
The breath in your throat hitched. “You're too good with words, Kim Younghoon.”
His eyes crinkled. “We can do something more your speed and study the space between us instead.”
You had to turn away to laugh, the sound of his own joining yours.
“Hey, it's a yes or no question,” he giggled, turning your chin back toward him. He bit his lip through a grin. “Can I kiss you again?”
You would be a fool to refuse him. In an instant, he lowered his lips over yours again, enveloped you in his embrace. And with every moment passed, you sank further and further into him. Maybe the universe was uncharted and alluring, but the universe could wait.
You had all the world right here.
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a/n: tumblr fcking hates me and my dialogue, confirmed. anyways, pls remember to reblog + comment if u enjoyed! for now, i'll see u in hot commodity!
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @vernonburger @maessseongs @ericlvr @mars101 @moonyswolf @your-mirae @richasdiary @sunramzi @deobi0412 @kflixnet
206 notes · View notes
oh-meretseger · 2 months
Text
part 3 - Listen
attack on titan modern college au // Jean Kirstein x fem!reader
notes: 18+! smut (although they still don’t touch each other teehee i’m sorry), phone sex, mutual masturbation
word count: 4,1k
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Thursday night. You being stressed out of your mind, Jean being his inconsiderate jerk self, not even trying to help you do the finishing touches of your project.
"I can't believe you're not able to pay attention for one fucking minute, you're such a fucking dumbass!" you let the spiteful words spill out of your mouth loudly, almost yelling, not even thinking about holding your anger back anymore.
Jean bit his lower lip as he listened to you yell at him through the phone. He shifted in his seat, spreading his thighs a little wider. Once again, this damn feeling started to take over him...
"A dumbass, huh?"
"You heard me right, a dumbass."
Jean closed his eyes, getting lost in the feeling. He never thought of himself as a masochist. And no loser little nerd could ever get a reaction out of him by degrading him... But as he listened to your voice, stern and unforgiving, your words so full of spite and such intense anger, he couldn't help but feel himself grow hard under his gray sweatpants.
"An arrogant fucking prick, who is so full of himself, he can't even FATHOM how much precious time of others he's fucking wasting" you didn't plan on stopping now. Even though it was pure anger what made you act so unusually rude, it felt good as it left your mouth. You had so much frustration against Jean stored up in your body. Although you blatantly ignored the reason for that, on purpose... But you could feel the relief of setting it free.
Jean couldn't see you, but he imagined as your glasses moved slightly on the pretty freckles on your nose while you were cursing at him through the phone. He loved when those seemingly innocent, big eyes of yours turned so fiery and intense, whenever he reached his goal in annoying you until you lashed out.
His hand slid down to where his sweatpants started to feel tight and grabbed his growing hard-on, letting out a quiet and low groan. He palmed himself as he listened to you rambling on.
You're in your dorm and it's late at night, your hair must be in the messy braid right now that you usually wear at home, a few soft strands falling down to your delicate little neck, as you are fuming with anger and spit out such nasty words from between those innocently glistening, plump lips of yours...
"Mhmmm"
"What 'mmm'?! Are you even listening?" you yelled at him again through the phone, not even suspecting anything. You wished he was right in front of you at that moment. The relief of cursing him out wasn't enough - you wanted to look him in the eye and tell him off right in front of that stupid smug face of his. You would jump right to his throat...
Another second passed, and a quiet moan stopped you in your tracks. You almost continued your rant, but this simple sound made you catch your breath.
Was that really a moan?
"Call me a dumbass again" you heard Jean's gentle voice from the other end, groaning, almost whiny as the sentence ended with another soft moan.
Heat immediately started to spread in your body.
You froze and couldn't even identify the intense wave of feeling that washed through you. Is it embarassment, maybe shock that makes you so damn confused right now?
A strong tingling feeling appeared inside you as another one of those quiet groans reached your ear. The heat flowing through your body, right to your core, felt like the one that always makes you explode with anger, whenever Jean is getting on your nerves... This felt a lot like that, actually, but this time the tension awoken by his voice was starting to make you lose any and all composure you had this far, and come undone. Is he really..?
"What, you're not mad at me anymore?" Jean's low voice broke the short silence and even though you couldn't see him, you could hear he was smiling. You could not believe your ears just yet, but you started to hear quiet, but definitely rhythmic and lewd noises coming from him.
Your brain shut down completely at the sound, words left your lips by themselves.
"Yes"
"Keep yelling at me then, baby" Jean told you again, his tone deep and filled with desire. Baby.
It was happening again... The heat flowing through you was making a pool of your panties at that very moment. This time was different though, it wasn't one of your little fantasies about Jean that you tried to deny the existance of. Or maybe this is a dream..?
You closed your eyes as you listened to another sigh and the slight, slow wet noises from the background.
"Jean-"
Jean's right hand was holding his phone, letting your sweet voice fill his ear. His gray sweatpants were now pushed down, around his thick thighs, just enough to let his other hand move freely, slowly sliding up and down on his hard cock, fingers slightly squeezing around its girth.
"Am I not a dumbass anymore?"
"Wha-" you tried to reply, but you choked on your words. You could feel your face grow hot as you realized how wet you got by hearing Jean's sounds of pleasure. Arousal, confusion and anger made your mind go hazy and absolutely dumbfounded. "You are. What the actual fuck"
Is this idiot really jerking off to you cussing him out?
"Are you being serious right now?! Or is this some kind of disgusting joke?"
"That's it, Y/N" it was like Jean's heavy breathing was directly connected to your center through your ear, and you closed your eyes as a desperate moan left his mouth, sending another wave of warmth through your wet folds. "You're mad at me for not paying attention, what else?"
You started squirming in your seat, still denying how good Jean's voice made you feel. You wanted to hate him for this. How is it possible the most intense arousal you've ever felt was awoken by this self absorbed jerk, who you could swear you despised?
"I can't believe you-" you wanted to make the good feeling go away, but even rubbing your thighs together a little made you see stars as you thought of him stroking his cock to your voice. "You always fucking do this, you act like such an out-of-pocket prick, I could seriously punch you in the face right now!”
Jean chuckled, his hand still slowly working his achingly erect cock. You wanted your words to sound foul, but your voice felt like sweet honey in his ear, making him hungry for more.
He couldn't have explained this whole situation, even if he wanted to... But he didn't want to. You were so emotional, so different from your usual self whenever he purposefully got on your nerves - and he was so incredibly turned on by it. And he knew you felt the same. He saw the way you looked at him fresh out of the shower the day before.
You were being a stubborn little brat at the moment, but Jean could sense the sparks of your frustration, even through the phone.
"Yeah? Y'think you could hurt me?" he smiled to himself, then stopped the steady up-and-down of his hand to squeeze his sensitive pink tip and slowly smear his glistening precum around with a finger.
Of course, you didn't mean these words in the slightest - although the force of your present feelings could easily make you feel otherwise. Jean was arrogant, sure, at least when he was around you, and him being so nonchalantly blunt always rubbed you the wrong way... But maybe it was because of how calm and collected he seemed, all the time, no matter the circumstances, he could always turn anything into a snarky joke.
You secretly loved when he got heated during an argument, barely visibly losing his temper. His smug grin turning into clenched teeth, those long fingers, big hands squeezing into a fist, his muscles tensing up...
Exactly like his forearm is probably tensing right now, sliding his hand on his hard cock.
Why do you feel the need to see, just get a glimpse of it..?
"You can't even imagine" you replied, and although you intended to sound infuriated, you couldn't help but smile back. "I could bite through your stupid throat right now"
"Oh yeah? How'd you know I'd like that?"
You literally started seeing stars hearing Jean's voice moaning those words.
Jean's hand picked up the rhythm again, stroking his cock, wet with precum, thinking about how your pretty little lips must be parted in confusion right now, your mind conflicted if you should stop denying and let yourself enjoy what feels good, or just straight up hang up on him.
On the other side of the phone, the wet sounds paired with Jean's heavy breathing and occasional quiet, desperate groans eventually made you lose all control, your eyes fell shut and you let out a soft little moan.
The widest grin formed on Jean's face as his cock throbbed in his hand at your sweet sound. "What now, I thought you were a good little nerd? You're not enjoying this, are you?"
You leaned back onto your pillows, let your knees fall further apart and slid your fingers to the hem of your panties. This is so wrong.
"You're the most annoying person I've ever met, Kirstein" you closed your eyes, him being the only image in your mind. You felt yourself get even more wet thinking about his arm muscles prominent as he pleasures himself, his big, strong thighs and the heaven that must be inbetween them...
"Mhm, what else?" Jean smirked, starting to find your angry little remarks adorable. He already knew you lost the battle against yourself - you lost your disguise, and couldn’t hold back your instinct anymore.
"And I hate you" you mumbled while your index finger delicately brushed over your clit through the fabric of your cotton panties. You accidentally let out a sigh as you felt how wet and sensitive you became.
"Tell me how much you hate me" Jean's voice sounded desperate and you couldn’t help another moan escaping your lips at hearing how turned on he was. Just like you. You want to make him feel good, so incredibly much...
"I hate you so much... I hate you for doing this to me" you moaned out quietly as your fingers slipped into your panties, feeling the dripping wetness he caused. And he didn't even have to touch you. It's all his fault...
"What am i doing to you, baby?" Jean's cock throbbed in his hand, immediately throwing his head back, vision becoming pitch black for a second as he heard you whimper in answer on the other side. "Holy shit..."
"I'm so wet" you almost whispered, scared to even admit it, but the urge to let him know how good he made you feel took over. Your quiet, desperate whimpers grew louder as the image of Jean touching himself became detailed in your colorful, dirty mind, and the slow circles of your fingers got faster on you unbearably sensitive clit.
Jean couldn't believe he had you like this - a hot, wet, whimpering mess. He felt like he was on cloud nine, imagining your dainty fingers playing with your sweet pussy as you listened to him, making yourself feel so good over the sounds he was making.
"I told you you're a pathetic little nerd" Jean teased you, letting out a breathy laugh, and another moan escaped your mouth as you heard the sound of him spitting, then the wet sounds of him fisting his cock in a steady pace.
Jean bit down on his lower lip, his eyes closed, completely lost in how immensely amazing this all felt while pumping his hand. Wishing it was yours instead...
"Shut up" you whined, then slipped the tip of a finger to your achingly empty, drenched hole. "This is all your fault..."
"Just let it go, pretty girl" he replied gently, his words coming out of his throat low and raspy. "Touch yourself for me"
"Jean-" rubbing your tender little knob felt like electric waves throughout your whole body, and you forgot how wrong this felt a few minutes ago. Jean became the only thing on your mind. You wanted to touch him, you wanted him to touch you.
"You like hearing me jerk off for you? Listening to your voice" words spilled out of Jean's mouth desperately, lips swollen from all the biting, his voice cracking in a whine as the mix of precum and saliva made it so easy for his fist to slide and stimulate his sensitive tip. Every wet noise, every word, every moan and whimper falling out of your sweet little mouth made him throb and he felt himself getting closer to his peak.
"Yes" you didn't even try to deny anymore. You've never felt so lost in your arousal, your fingers moving on their own in your panties, making the most wet and lewd sounds you've ever created.
"Then keep talking, baby" Jean's voice seemed almost begging, and you let out another moan hearing that pet name again. "Let me hear that wet little pussy"
You were certain the filthy sounds made by your wetness were loud enough to reach his ear, but you moved your phone a little closer to your sweet spot to make sure. “Jean it- it feels so good, you're making me feel so good"
Jean started seeing stars at the sound, stopping the movement of his hand when he almost came on the spot.
"I hate you so much, there are no words for how angry I am with you, I could explode..." your whines let him know you were also close, but he didn't want to cum just yet. He didn't want it to be over. "Do you still have that black t-shirt on?"
"I do, actually" Jean smiled, slowly palming his cock while glancing down at his shirt. He didn't know, but that day you already checked out how his shirt hugged his beautiful upper body so perfectly.
That shirt was your favorite on him.
"You're gonna paint it white for me, aren't you?" you let the filthy words pour out of your mouth without a second thought, then grinned at how good it felt. "You dirty, nasty boy"
A whine escaped Jean's lips hearing those words, and his back arched in his seat, his hand starting to pump faster on his leaky cock.
"Yeah I am" he grunted, his breathing getting heavier. "M'making a mess just for you"
"Jean-" you moaned out, his name feeling so sweet on your tongue. Blood flushed to your face, the familiar warmth of getting close to your climax. "I'm so close, baby"
"Yeah?" your soft voice sounded almost pleading, only pushing him closer to the edge with you. "Gonna cum listening to me jerk my cock for you?"
"Mhmm" you whined, dangerously close to your peak, your mind going blank as an intense feeling took over your body.
Jean knew you were seconds away from spilling, moaning so beautifully for him, unable to form words anymore. But he still didn't want it to end yet. "Tell me what your pretty little fingers are doing, angel"
"M'rubbing my pussy" you felt your face get hot as you said such dirty words out loud.
"You're rubbing your little clit for me?"
"Mhmm" you moaned in answer, and Jean closed his eyes, imagining your legs spread and pulled up, his face buried right between them, lapping up the sweet nectar leaking out of you.
"Oh my god, I wish I could push my fingers inside of you" he breathed out. "I want you to cum on my face so bad”
"Holy-" your body reacted immediately to Jean’s words, and as you imagined his face between your legs, his warm tongue swirling over your clit, you couldn’t help but letting out a high pitched moan. “Jean!”
“Cum for me, pretty girl, let it go” Jean encouraged you gently, his hand’s movements becoming fast and sloppy at the thought of you reaching your orgasm. “I’m gonna cum for you, too”
“Mmpf, you better make a mess of yourself for me” your brain somehow found a way to form a sentence, and a second after your snarky mumble the knot growing in your core came undone, all that built up electric sensation turning into an explosion of intense pleasure. Heaven must feel like this.
And in your most heavenly moments, the only thing your mind could make you do was moan Jean’s name, chanting like it was some kind of prayer.
Jean couldn’t have helped himself, even if he wanted to. Hearing those words out of your mouth, heavy breaths and uncontrolled sounds of you moaning his name, escaping your sweet lips as you came on your pretty fingers - it was over for him. He let out a grunt as the most powerful feeling of pleasure erupted in his core. He moaned your name as he watched his arm’s movements become even sloppier.
His legs started trembling as the first few drops gushed down on his fingers, then hot cum splurted all over the black fabric of his t-shirt, just like he promised you.
“Oh my god” you whimpered, feeling your own pool of wetness with your fingers as you came down from your high. You have never experienced such an intense orgasm, although you were not able to form these thoughts yet, quite literally forgetting your name for a few seconds there.
Just like Jean. It was like a hurricane that just cleared his mind, completely blank. He parted his long fingers, sticky with his cum, his other hand still holding his phone and your sweet little sounds to his ear.
You listened to each others breathing and sighs getting less and less heavy, slowly regaining consciousness and realizing what you’ve just done.
Uh oh.
"You’re not mad at me anymore?" Jean broke the silence that seemed like long minutes, his voice low, but you could still hear that smug smirk on his face through the phone. You felt your cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.
"You’re such a fucking pervert" you muttered, and Jean let out a chuckle. “I’m killing you tomorrow. Good night”
You hung up and immediately threw your phone across the room, right onto Sasha’s empty bed. You grabbed a pillow, pushed it into your face, and a muffled scream left your mouth, but it didn’t help your frustration at all.
You wanted to see that black t-shirt of his, so, so bad…
Waking up the next day felt like a struggle. Last night, you laid wide awake for hours before finally falling asleep, only to be woken up by Sasha’s loud singing about two hours later. It was morning already and you had class together, all of you.
You dressed into the biggest, baggiest clothes you could find to hide from the world, specifically from Jean. Only Sasha was able to make you smile in such state when she broke into a laughing fit, after stepping out of the bathroom and taking a look at your outfit, calling you a “huge sack of potato”.
She didn’t know the dirty secret you were hiding, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to tell her. The embarrassment of your filthy, filthy actions was too extreme to even consider that.
That was until you saw him.
You were seated between Sasha and Connie, still hiding under your hoodie, waiting for the lecture to start, when a familiar voice hit your ears, and heat spread through your face immediately.
Jean threw himself into the chair next to Connie with a sigh. You froze, not even moving your head one bit. You felt like you could never look at him again. But you wanted to, so much.
You had to.
You carefully moved your eyes in his direction, very slowly turning your head just a little bit to steal a quick glance. Using the hood of your sweatshirt as a shield, you peeked past the hem of it - only to be met with Jean’s serious eyes staring right into yours.
You instantly bursted out laughing, your hand shooting to your mouth. All the tension snapped the moment you saw him looking at you, his eyes like stone, face troubled as if he had to leave for war the next day.
Jean’s laughter bursted out of his mouth basically at the same moment you looked into his eyes and lost it. Connie jerked his head up, almost scared, as you two cracked up out of the blue, then your laughter became louder and louder as you completely gave up, and you looked back to Jean.
“The hell’s so funny?” Connie growled, irritated by the early morning class and the apparent joke he seemed to miss.
You straight up convulsed with laughter as Jean howled, the situation being the most freaking hilarious piece of comedy you could ever imagine. Poor Connie didn’t get involved in the joke, and he sat there huffing and puffing while you and Jean were in absolute hysterics. Class became a real challenge after that, both of your bodies shaking with inaudible cackling from time to time when your eyes accidentally met.
Your stomach felt sore at the end of the lecture, but at least the embarrassed tension was nowhere to be found in your body. This was the first time Jean and you connected so blissfully in real life, and it felt so good.
Although you still seemed to deny your sudden urge to be close to him.
“Hey” a hand grabbed the sleeve of your hoodie from behind, stopping you from following Connie and Sasha, loudly bickering with each other down the hallway, now further and further away from you. The hand’s force pulled your body back, twirling you around - and meeting Jean’s body.
Some stupid butterflies decided to wake up in your stomach at the feeling of your bodies being so close, and you felt yourself blushing as you looked up at him.
“What, do you want me to call you a dumbass again?” you held back your smirk as you successfully kept your composure looking into those beautiful hazel eyes, and Jean cracked up.
“Just wanted to ask when exactly you plan on killing me” he grinned down at you, and your knees became weak right away. Fuck.
“I’ll let you live until the evening class. If I have to finish up the project for then, you won’t see tomorrow” you said with a serious tone and Jean’s grin softened to a half smile. His eyes practically sank into yours, his lids low as he looked down at you, and you felt the familiar heat spread in your body.
You basically became wet just by the way he was towering over you, his shoulders broad in front of your face, his fresh, slightly woody smell overtaking your senses and making your thoughts go hazy, one of his thighs still slightly touching yours as you stood so close to each other. Shivers ran down your spine when Jean’s other hand grabbed your other sleeve as well, then moved both of his hands down to gently brush his fingers over yours.
Your head almost dropped at the feeling.
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise” he replied after the short silence with a low voice, but you were so close to him, you could still hear him over the noise of the busy corridor. The intense feeling of his eyes piercing through yours started to burn you. He must’ve felt the same burning sensation.
You wanted to kiss him so bad - and he wanted to kiss you so, so bad.
But you didn’t.
A grin grew on his face again as he watched you look up at him with big eyes, sparkling with excitement. He found you absolutely adorable. But he wasn’t gonna give you what you wanted just yet.
He wanted to tease you a little first.
“I will definitely see tomorrow, I can guarantee your smartass that” he added and you couldn’t help smiling, seeing his usual cocky smirk. Jean suddenly leaned closer to you, and tingles ran down your body as his hand slid to the side of your neck, fingers reaching into your hair, his lips almost touching your ear on the other side as his whispers felt hot on your skin. “See you later, pretty girl”
Your eyes automatically closed, your lips slightly parted at how heavenly it felt. But it was like a painfully short dream, ripped away from you in seconds as Jean just as suddenly as he touched you, let go of you and walked away.
A document containing the project’s missing parts landed in your emails a few hours later, written detailed and precise. He even included whole paragraphs of things you begged him to work on the night before, when he didn’t seem to pay any attention. Before he…
Before you shared your secret little moments with each other.
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frenchkisstheabyss · 8 months
Text
🖤 Yours Alone 🖤
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🖤 Pairing: dom!boyfriend!hongjoong x sub!fem!reader
🖤 Genre: smut
🖤 Summary: Things get interesting when you visit your boyfriend while he's on a business trip in Greece.
🖤 Word Count: 1.1k-ish
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🖤 Warnings: soft dom hongjoong, praise kink, masturbation (f), fingering, nicknames (daddy, baby, good girl), edging, the filthiest of language, and remind me if I missed anything
🖤 A/N: @sailork-pop I hope this insomnia fueled one shot satisfies your wishes to be a spoiled Joong babe who gets flown out to pretty places
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Hongjoong spares no expense when it comes to you. Anything you’ve ever wanted, anything you might even think you want, is yours without question. Some might say he spoils you but why shouldn’t he when you’ve always been such a good girl? You’re his goddess. His muse. His addiction. If you want the moon he’ll pluck it from the night sky and every star with it. This time around you hadn’t quite asked for the moon. Actually, you hadn’t directly asked for anything.
You’d simply called to tell him how much you missed him while he was away on business in Greece, never expecting that he’d have you on a flight to the breathtaking island of Santorini mere hours later. With gorgeous homes carved into the towering cliffs of the island surrounded by a sea that reflects a vivid blue unlike any you’ve ever witnessed, it’s been the epitome of romance since you stepped off the plane. 
But none of that is why you’re here. You didn’t drop everything to come dine at expensive restaurants or brush elbows with his friends in the fashion industry. You came to be with him. To be seen by him. To be loved by him. To be draped across the bed in his luxury suite like the beautiful creature that you are, stroking your clit through the designer lingerie he had custom-made just for you.
Hongjoong stands at the end of the bed, still dressed in the suit he wore to dinner. The one that drove you mad all night, making it impossible to focus on much else but him. He looks so good that you can’t take your eyes off of him. A feeling that’s intensely mutual. Hongjoong’s eyes are glued to you, captivated by the sight of you playing with yourself precisely as he instructed.
You make the cutest pouty face, whimpering at how heavenly the expensive silk of your panties feels brushing against your stiff clit. Hongjoong takes a deep breath, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt, “Aww, my girl has the prettiest little moans. Come here and let daddy see how wet you are.” “Yes, daddy” you mewl, inching closer to the foot of the bed and spreading your legs. Using two fingers he pulls your panties to the side, grinning at how drenched they are before he even gets a look at the arousal dripping from your warmth.
“I didn’t tell you to stop, did I?” he teases, his free hand reaching up to lovingly cup your cheek. Gripping your panties, he tucks them to the side, exposing every bit of your deliciously needy pussy to him. Your fingers are back at your clit, your head falling back at the jolt of pleasure you get from finally touching your bare clit. He groans, chewing at his bottom lip, his cock growing hard enough to make him regret these fitted pants.
Fuck, he wants you on his tongue so badly but that’s not a part of the plan. At least not for this round. For now, he needs you just like this, making delicate figure eights on your clit, your pussy so wet that your fingers keep slipping through your folds whenever your clit twitches from you hitting a particularly sensitive spot. “Daddy, am I doing okay?” you whine, a wave of heat washing over you. “Oh, baby,” he coos, dipping two fingers into the juices trickling from your slit, “You’re doing so well. Look at this.”
Hongjoong raises his fingers up to show how perfectly you glisten in the light. He pops them into his mouth, those few drops of you coating his tongue enough to chase off his craving. He doesn’t even try to hide how much he loves the taste of you, humming as he takes one last lick. Just knowing how hooked on your pussy he is has you teetering on the edge of your high. Your movements begin to get sloppy as your muscles weaken, your body tingling from head to toe.
Your breath hitches as your stomach winds itself into endless knots that threaten to snap without warning. “Stop” Hongjoong demands, grabbing you by the wrists and pinning your arms to your sides. You writhe beneath the pressure, slowly losing your grasp on an orgasm so close you could almost taste it. But you don’t want it, not really, unless Hongjoong says you’re allowed. 
“Are we forgetting to ask permission? We can’t have that can we?” he scolds, leaning forward to kiss your inner thighs, his lips barely skimming your clit as he moves from one thigh to the other. “I’m sorry, daddy. Can I cum? Pretty please? Can you…can you make me cum?” Hongjoong releases you, kissing his way down your leg as he rises back to his feet. “I don’t know. You were doing such a good job on your own. I don’t think you need me.”
Crawling onto your knees, you poke your bottom lip out, “But I do need you. I always need you.” Hongjoong pets your hair, contemplating his answer for what feels like a painfully long time. Without a word, he kisses you on the forehead and makes his way to the other end of the bed. When he shifts to the middle of the bed, his back to the headboard, you don’t even question that the answer’s yes.
You position yourself between his legs, leaning back so that your head rests on his chest, the scent of his cologne filling your lungs. Hongjoong wraps his arms around your waist, his embrace safe and comforting. You spread your legs, knees pressing into his, back arching as his fingers sink into your core. “Joongie, mmph” you squeak at the feeling of his other hand laying flat on your clit, rubbing back and forth at the same rapid pace of those fingers rhythmically thrusting into your pussy.
“You hear that baby?” he whispers into your ear, “Still so wet. You must really wanna make daddy happy.” “I do. Want you to be proud of me.” Hongjoong picks up his pace, moving faster and faster the tighter your walls clench around him. “What? Look at how well you take my fingers, swallowing them so fucking deep inside you. I’m always so, so proud of you, baby.”
And just like that you’re seeing stars, trembling in his arms as you gush all over the bed, his fingers tapping at your sweet spot until you can’t take it anymore. You collapse into him, whimpering even after his fingers have eased out of you. Lifting you up a bit, he grabs the blanket tousled about beneath you, bringing it up to cover you as you cuddle up together.
“Hey,” he says softly, kissing you on the cheek. You smile up at him, your eyes bright and loving, “Yeah?” “I really missed you too.”
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377 notes · View notes
rosemoncherie · 3 months
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business affairs: t.wolff - series [OLD VERSION]
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Chapter One: The Night Everything Began.
pairing: Toto Wolff x OC!Natalia Danon.
warnings: 18+, nsfw, age gap (Natalia is 32), talks of divorce, allusions to sexism, fast paced, explicit sexual scene, cunnilingus, slight dirty talk.
w.c: 4.04K
tags: @queenshikongo3 @bluesole16 @christinabae @aisharmi @hoziersfairy @queenzee27 @omgsuperstarg @lewisroscoelove @itsyagirlmeee @joviallljas @serpenttines-library @hrlzy @sugardontbesweet @tallrock35 @tian-monique @f1-hoff @peyiswriting @thewolffswife @mochiminimoni @bekindbecoolbeyou
KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA. 2022.
Natalia was exhausted but ultimately, she was hungry.
Very hungry.
She had rationalised that since she was already downstairs, going into the in-house restaurant was better than tracking all the way up her suite and ordering room service when she could hear the loud growling of her stomach.
Quickly, Natalia was seated and ordered some focaccia with an olive oil dip and a glass of Corton Charlemagne white wine. After a long day of meetings and conferences, a good glass of wine was desperately needed.
It had only been a couple of years since Natalia had been assigned to the position of Chief Financial Officer of Mercedes Benz. The youngest woman to ever be appointed to the role and unfortunately, the first black woman to ever hold that title for a top five company within the vehicle industry.
Natalia had been a finance protege. A master of her craft as some people would describe her and when her parents picked up on her affinity for numbers, they did everything possible to advance her career. And all the better for it as it led her to where was today.
She loved her job and despite all of the hardships and pushback that she had faced, no one and nothing was going to take that away from her.
That however, did not change the fact there were some days where the job had been strenuous on her mind and body. Hours on end speaking to people in seminars, overseeing a few upcoming projects and a lot of walking. The walking was the worst of it all as Natalia had chosen a beautiful pair of high heels typically made for a sitting situation. She had failed to anticipate just how much walking she would have had to partake in today.
Natalia hummed softly as she chewed on the dip soaked bread. After four hours, this was the first piece of nourishment she had after hours of sipping on only water. Her eyes wandered around her surroundings until they landed on a man.
Toto Wolff.
The CEO and team principal of the Mercedes-AMG PETRONAS Formula One team. A man who she held a lot of great respect for and he made it known whenever the both of them were in the same vicinity that the feeling was mutual. Toto staying in the same hotel as herself was not uncommon. Mercedes Benz and the Ritz-Carlton were in a long term partnership, hence they were able to stay in the luxurious hotel free of charge anywhere in the world.
A perk of the job.
Their eyes met and his face radiated a genuine smile. Quite the rare sight of the man. Natalia waved for him to come over and soon enough, Toto was being led towards her table. As soon as she stood up to greet him, the sleeves of her jersey slid back down her arms.
“Good to see you again.” Toto greeted her after a quick hug.
Natalia giggled as she sat back down with him pulling a chair close beside her. “We’ve seen each other a lot today.”
“That’s what happens when you work together.”
"Technically I am your boss, you work for me.
Natalia shot back which caused Toto to chuckle.
”You love pointing that out don’t you.” His right eyebrow lifted as he took in her facial features.
“Yes I want to make sure that you never forget it.”
“And I won’t.” His eyes trailed down to her glossed lips and settled there for a moment.
Toto licked his.
The action was subtle but Natalia caught it all. She took a deep breath as she reached for the menus.
”Are you ordering anything to eat or are you just here to keep me company?”
The question caused him to smirk. “Well. I had only come in, to a place an order to be delivered to my suite but now that I’m here I don’t see why I can’t do both. A late dinner in the company of a beautiful woman? You’d be a fool to decline that.”
His words and tone were laced with flirtation and Natalia hated herself for just how much it swayed her. You’d be an idiot to deny how attractive the man was. A tall giant at 6 feet 5 inches, slender yet muscular in all the places that counted. For a mature man like him, Toto kept himself physically agile and well groomed. Almost always clean shaved but his hair always ended up ruffled from the constant wear of headphones and how frequently he ran his fingers through the dark locks.
Outside of appearance, his charisma was extremely charming as intended. Toto knew how to talk to people and he knew how to make people feel comfortable around them. The addition of his accent to his voice, Natalia knew that trying to fight her attraction towards the recently divorced man was futile.
The pair ended up ordering the chef’s special along with the bottle of Corton Charlemagne. As they enjoyed their meal, the conversation was easy going. Natalia spoke for most of the time whilst Toto listened. He was interested in knowing about her life - only interjecting when he felt that his opinion was needed.
When the bottle of wine was finished, Natalia switched to drinking water. Her flight out of Malaysia was scheduled for tomorrow afternoon and she would rather still have control of her senses.
“I can’t believe you’re single though.” The words easily slipped out of her mouth before she could have stopped her harbouring thought. The topic of conversation had been on his previous marriage as it had been a diversion of attention from the status of Natalia’s love life. One could argue why her question was inappropriate to ask but curiosity had gripped her. When the divorce was announced at the tail end of 2021, people had been curious to know the reason. Nobody had thought that the power couple of motorsports would ever part ways.
Toto sighed. “As much as we tried to not let our marriage get in the way of her career, the stigma that she would always just be my wife and that everything she would accomplish would be attributed to our matrimony ultimately became too much to bear. Of course there were other issues that contributed to the divorce but that was a big one. At the end of the day it was the best decision for the both of us. She needed to grow and being with me was a hindrance to that. No matter how much I loved her, her growth as a leader and as a person was far more important to me.”
“Wow.” Nat whispered as she let his words sink in. He spoke with great candour and genuine care. She could still feel the love that Toto had for Susie but there was romantic fondness in his words. Just respect and adoration for his ex-wife.
Toto nervously chuckled as he scratched the top of his left eyebrow. “Yeah, I didn’t think I’d be talking about my ex with you.”
“No, no. That was deeply profound. It’s a shame things came to such an ending but I think the choice that the both of you came to was a good one. If that is any type of comfort.”
“It is.” Toto softly smiled as he played with the stem of his wine glass. “It’s taken some time to get used to that but I’m getting there.”
”That’s good.”
That particular conversation ended there. Things were getting too deep and personal for either of their liking.
“No more talk about past relationships.” Toto said as he reached for the wine selection menu. However, Nat reached forward and placed her hand on his wrist to stop him.
“No more drinking for me. I need to head up to bed. My flight is tomorrow.”
“You’re leaving so soon?”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “I need to get to London by Friday. INEOS moved their meeting up to then instead of the agreed Wednesday the following week.”
“That could be because Jim is coming to London around that time.”
“I don’t care. It doesn’t change the fact that multiple people, me included, are now having to re-arrange our schedules because Radcliffe is an impatient old man.” Natalia complained as she rolled her eyes. A move that made Toto laugh as he placed the menu down.
“How about I walk you up to your room then?” He volunteered.
Her back straightened up and she lightly cleared her throat. “Yes. Please.”
Ever the gentleman, Toto put the bill of the meal on his room tab instead of Natalia having to share the cost. All the way to her suite, Toto had kept her smiling and giggling and it made her sick just how down her guard was. She couldn’t even blame it on alcohol.
All night, the crush she had for the man beside her had been festering and now it was at a fever’s pitch. Being in his presence for such a long time, alone, had her mind thinking of things that she shouldn’t.
They stood outside of her suite’s door, key card in hand with her back to the frame. At her full height, her forehead was still barely touching his chin. Toto was looking down at her with a soft glimmer of something in his eyes that she couldn’t deny.
”Would you like to come in? I have a full bar if you want to continue drinking. If not, I have something else in mind to offer.” Nat chewed on her bottom lip as she left the suggestion lingering in between them.
”If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you were trying to seduce me with that offer.” Toto expected her to claim that she was just joking and to walk away from the suggestion. Proclaim that she had just been joking and that the rising sexual tension in between them up to this point had been a figment of his imagination.
Instead, Natalia stood on her tip toes and tipped her head upwards until her lips were close to his. Just a breath’s reach.
She held his gaze. “What if I am?”
The energy had immediately shifted. Toto did not give her a verbal agreement as the door closed behind the both of them. He turned her around so that her back was touching his chest. Natalia’s moan vibrated in her throat as he moved her hair out of the way of her right shoulder. A sigh left her as his mouth touched her skin. His hands pulled her tucked in jersey out of her skirt until he was able to lay his hands onto her bare skin beneath the knitted fabric.
His hand clutching onto her top, he instructed Natalia to strip out of her skirt. And in quick succession, her clothes were on the floor.
“Fuck.” Toto said as he swallowed his thirst. If it wasn’t for the fact that her panties had been already soaked, the way his eyes roved hungrily over her body would have had her gushing more than she already was.
Natalia enjoyed his reaction to her. His lust was palpable as she unhooked her bra from her chest and let it join her clothes on the floor. She then hooked her thumbs into the sides of her thongs but before Nat could do anything else, Toto grabbed a hold of her wrists.
“No. Get on the bed.”
As her knees touched the duvet, Toto stood behind her as he dragged his fingers down the length of her spine before both of his hands dug into her ass cheeks, parting them softly. The cool air touched her nether lips which caused her to lightly gasp.
“Oh!” Natalia whimpered as he roughly handled her body. She was now on her back with a shirtless Toto hovering above her. He kissed her with all his might, with all of his pent up desire translating into the way that his lips modded over her. She opened her mouth to the intrusion of his sweet tongue laced with the wine of dinner into her mouth. Natalia dug her nails into his back as the kiss deepened. She wrapped her leg around his waist as she tried to anchor herself as his hardening erection pressed against her lower stomach.
Toto’s hands moved away from her hips until he was cupping the back of her neck, pulling her close until her teeth were sinking into his bottom lip and she was pulling it into her mouth. Natalia gasped into Toto’s mouth as he pressed his lips harder into hers before sucking on her tongue.
She couldn’t stay still as he continued to kiss her like this. Her hips rotated forward, trying to to create some type of friction to ease the ache residing deep in the pit of her stomach.
“Let me taste you.” Toto mumbled against her lips. His voice was as heavy with arousal as his cock that was pressing into her. Not waiting for her answer, she struggled to catch her breath as he pulled her panties down the length of her shapely legs. When the fabric was over his shoulder, her legs instinctively parted and Toto was rewarded by the sight of her drenched cunt.
“I knew you’d be soaked. You kept squirming in your seat at dinner.” His words shocked her a little but she wasn’t rattled at his observation. Toto ran his finger along her slit and without breaking their intenseful gaze, he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked his finger clean
”So sweet. Just as I thought you would be.” With her left knee hooked into his arm, he buried his face in between her thighs as he gave her lazy strokes of his tongue against her clit. Natalia gasped as her back arched off the bed as he continued giving her languid strokes of his tongue, which was moving up and down the length of her slit. Toto was eating her pussy with so much intention, it sent shocks of pleasure up her spine.
His movements were meticulously calculated, every time that he did something that garnered a reaction out of her, Toto played on that until Natalia was gasping for air. He licked, pulled and sucked on her pussy until she was clawing at the sheets beneath her trembling body.
”Oh shit!” She gasped as he covered her now sensitive nub with his tongue and softly pushed to fingers inside of her, sliding them in and out of her, increasing the speed and pressure of his movements until he felt Nat’s thighs begin to quake on each side of his head.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Natalia cursed as she felt a familiar pressure mount in her lower abdomen. She tried to jerk away from him but Toto kneaded his free hand into her thigh, trapping her in place as he became more insistent to drink from her. He flicked his fingers against her spot, his tongue danced on her clit.
Then she exploded into his mouth.
Her legs trapped his body in between her thighs as her body twitched with each wave passing through her. Natalia’s head was still in the clouds as she finally relaxed to set him free. His hands trailed back up the length of her body and kneaded her breasts as his kisses followed up until his lips were against hers once more.
His lust clouded his eyes, Drinking from her, bringing her to climax, made him more ravenous. He wanted to devour her. The intention to do so very much made clear as he haphazardly threw his trousers and boxer briefs off. He held her hips as she tried to calm himself enough to let her reach for the strip of condoms that were on the bedside table.
He couldn’t put it on quickly enough as Natalia placed kisses on his chin and her hands on his back.
Toto sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he raised Nat’s leg to his shoulder before he finally made his move and sank into her pussy. Just as the tip breached her entrance, they both lost their breath due to the feeling of being connected.
“Baby.” She exhales as he completes the stroke by thrusting all the way forward and holding himself there.
“I know schatz. I know.” He groaned into her ear.
After fantasising about this very moment, for months on end, Toto concluded that nothing was better than the real thing. Yet somehow his mind couldn't comprehend what was happening. All that he could think about was how soft she was.
She was so soft. So sweet. So warm. So tight, warm and deliciously wet.
She fit him like a glove and he could feel as much as he could through the protective sleeve. Toto moved slightly which caused Nat to let out a cry.
“Please move. Please.” She whimpered into his ear.
He soon found a rhythm of slow , methodic strokes as he folded her body into itself. Her silk press began to revert back to its natural curls, the longer he worked her body into a sweat. Natalia’s lips parted with a sigh as he placed her other leg onto his shoulder and hooked his arms beneath hers and held onto her shoulders.
”Oh my god!” Natalia struggled for breath as his body slammed against the back of her thighs. The sexy sounds of their pleasure reverberated through the room.
”That’s it isn’t it schatz? That’s the spot.” He taunted her as he hammered his tip against your walls. He grinned as he saw the internal struggle to conjure up a response. He didn’t tease her too much though.
Toto himself was failing to contain his restraint from just how tightly Natalia was clutching onto him with each stroke. It was making him lightheaded as she threatened to drown him with just how soaked she was. He felt himself slipping into mindless pleasure as his thrusts became harder and more frantic.
It was only when he felt Nat’s leg beginning to tremble against his shoulders and his stomach began to tighten did Toto slow down. Natalia whined as she shifted her hips up to tempt him.
However, he didn’t fall for it.
Instead, he let her legs fall away from his shoulders but he still made sure that they were wrapped around his waist. His forearms dropped on either side of her head as his chest pressed into hers. Natalia’s hardened nipples tickled his skin as he rolled his hips as deep as she possibly could take him. He coupled his slow, deep thrusts with a circular motion, making sure that he touched every part of her that he could.
He hummed softly as he drew little cries from Natalia. He swallowed her moans and every sound that he could. They were only his - just for the night. For however long she would allow.
Natalia could feel resolve disappear from his frantic kisses and touches. The slapping of his thighs against her skin echoed in the room. The contact pinched at their skin in a bittersweet manner, the harsher the pounding became. But Nat took it all in stride.
His hand around her neck was the last straw.
She exploded around him without warning.
“That’s it baby.” He kissed the underside of her ear.
“Cum all over this dick.”Her teeth sunk into the skin of his shoulder as she let the orgasm ride her body. The repeated contraction of her walls pulled Toto down even further.
“Fuck!” He hissed in Nat’s ear as her cunt tightly squeezed his dick until he filled the condom with his seed.
They stayed in the same position for a moment before he pulled out of her. Nat sighed as she watched him dispose of the condom and pull his underwear back up his legs. His eyes followed him as he entered the bathroom and then came out with a wet cloth.
After grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge, he came back to the bed and cleaned her up in silence. Natalia sighed with a smile on her face, loving the way his hands were handling her so delicately as if he wasn’t roughly gripping her flesh as he fucked into her minutes ago.
”Drink your water.” He mumbled before placing a kiss onto her thigh. Natalia giggled as she reached for the water bottle.
“Yes sir.” She teased as she took a gulp of the refreshing liquid.
“What time is your flight tomorrow?” He asked as he began to place kisses on her torso before stopping to take a nipple into his mouth. Natalia gasped as her eyes flattered close to enjoy the feel of his warm mouth sucking on her nipple like she had been sucking on her clit earlier on in the night.
“3pm why?” Nat said, only able to answer when he moved his attention to her other nipple.
”I want to take you again … and again …” He spoke as he began to tower over her body. “And again. Until you’re so spent that I’m all you think about for days to come.”
His lips touched hers again as his body pushed her back into the disheveled sheets …
PRESENT DAY
”I want to take you again … and again … and again. Until you’re so spent that I’m all you think about for days to come.”
Those words were now haunting her as she sat at her desk. Of all the things Toto Wolff had ever said and done to her, these particular words haunted her the most.
Because of just how devastatingly true they were. No man after that had come close to how he had made her feel that night. A couple had come close but it was never the same.
It could never be the same.
When she left Malaysia the following afternoon, it had not occurred to her that it would be the last time that she would see Toto. Both of their respective careers kept them busy. The previous season of Formula One had overwhelmed him. The last year had not been kind to the team. The sport had not been kind to the team and it was beginning to show in the numbers.
All of that had led to this moment. Natalia was in her office with the reports of the team’s previous financial year and the CEO asking her for an incredible favour.
“It’ll only be for a couple of months.” He said.
“Six months is hardly a couple, Chris.” Chris Stevenson chuckled at the statement.
“You’re right but I need someone I can trust to go over there and oversee things.”
“And why couldn’t Tomlinson do it?” Oliver Tomlinson was the current Chief Operating Officer of the company and from the last she heard, Oliver and Toto were friends.
“You’re better with numbers. Two, you did Physics so I’m sure you understand the technical jargon better.”
Natalia frowned at the reasonsing. “I did Physics when I was like eighteen.”
“Doesn’t matter. Plus Wolff only agreed to do this if it was you.”
”Why?”
“I don’t know. A deep respect for you I guess.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“You guess?!” She sassed back and placed her hands on her waist.
”You know what I mean! Look, why are you opposing this? Do I need to know something?”
”No!” Natalia knew that she had said that a little too quickly for her liking. “I’m not opposing it for what you think. You’re basically asking me to audit the team just because they had a couple of bad years.”
“Two bad years with no titles, two bad cars, a shift in leadership and a few lost sponsors. All of that translates to a bad investment. And a bad investment means no money and no money means-.’
”Okay! I got the message.” She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in surrender.
“Wolff is not happy about this and quite frankly I don’t care. We need to get to the bottom of this before the season begins.”
Natalia was going to be Toto’s boss for six months. She could barely think of him without remembering the way he had ravished her that night. Now she had to work with him everyday for the next half year.
Fuck me. She thought to herself
166 notes · View notes
chaileaf · 1 year
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𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐁𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐑 - part two
› featuring: camboy!shuntaro chishiya + fem!reader
› word count: 8,451 words
› synopsis: shuntaro chishiya is the star student at your school. not only is he handsome and athletic- he is extremely well liked by all the professors with perfect grades. whenever you attend a meeting for the school council, as you’re the only one currently running for president, you feel the presence of the one and only chishiya. realizing he is trying to take your spot as president, you listen closely to what he says. then and only then did it click: his voice, those eyes, the way the corner of his lips curl… he is the camboy you watch in your free time! when you get a notification on your phone for a bidding livestream, you're intrigued. it was an auction hosted by none other than k1ng0fd1am0nds. the prize? a private cam date with him, orgasm included.
› rating: nsfw, +18
› cw: vulgar language, mutual masturbation on camera, rivals to fucking, dominant!chishiya, face slapping, oral sex (f), facefucking (m), submissive!reader, degradation, calling chishiya daddy, slight praise, public sex in a library, creampie, somewhat rough sex
› setting: college au
⤷ chai's note: hiii! this is my first fic i've written in a while! i'm so excited to publish this and i really hope you all enjoy it. i had a lot of fun writing it. i love chishiya sm if it wasn't already obvious. anyways, this isn't proofread so if there's mistakes, pls ignore them. love u byeee xoxo (p.s. there’s a hint to my next fic in here and no, it’s not aki hayakawa hehe)
⤷tags: @poetrieshouse @tungstenorc
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it was a familiar feeling for you. the feeling of getting off to his voice, to the way his lips curl into a blissful smirk whenever he touched himself on camera. he was your favorite cam to watch after a stressful day of classes.
you let out a deep breath, reaching for the small towel beside your bed to wipe your hand of the juices that covered your fingers. your heart was still racing from your orgasm and your breathing was slowly but surely slowing to a normal pace. your brain was foggy from the quick orgasm, but it still felt like one of the best ones so far. of course, you said that every time you watched his show and came to him.
you let out a deep breath, reaching for the small towel beside your bed to wipe your hand of the juices that covered your fingers. your heart was still racing from your orgasm and your breathing was slowly but surely slowing to a normal pace. your brain was foggy from the quick orgasm, but it still felt like one of the best ones so far. of course, you said that every time you watched his show and came to him.
“i hope you all enjoyed my show. i’ll be doing another livestream in a few days so make sure to turn my notifications on. thank you for tuning in and have a splendid night.” his sultry and noticeably softer voice made you turn your head towards your computer screen, admiring how pretty his lips looked in the camera. even though you could only see from his nose down, you knew that he was handsome. there was no doubt about it. no amount of masks and camera angles could hide how attractive he was. it was no surprise that he had so many viewers watching him get off using various toys and methods. not only that, but people paying for these toys, and for him to touch himself how they wanted to see him do. you wished you had more money to spare, to see him get off in a way that you desired. unfortunately, being a college student didn’t give you the ability to spend your extra income on some popular camboy.
to say you were sexually frustrated was an understatement. you never thought you’d get to a point in your life where you would have notifications for a camboy set so that you wouldn’t miss his show. you shook your head and layed down, opening your emails to see if any of your professors had sent anything important out.
just as you had thought, a new email was sitting at the top of your inbox. you rolled your eyes, closing them and laying your head back further into the pillow. school wasn’t difficult for you, more so tiring than anything else. you couldn’t wait for it to be over, and as a senior, you were so excited to graduate with a degree in the spring and start your life.
your fingers glided across your screen and opened the email titled ‘school government meeting’. it was nothing more than a reminder of the meeting for tomorrow. you groaned, rubbing your eyes with one hand before realizing it was the hand you got off with and quickly removing it. what would the student body have to say if they knew their future class president was getting off to a camboy, you wondered. that thought alone made your face grimace,
you set your alarms and plugged your phone in before turning the bedside lamp off and snuggling into bed with your stuffed animal. your brain created thoughts of the camboy and what he looked like. you’ve only seen his eyes and lips, amongst other explicit body parts. you could feel the blush on your face as you slowly fell asleep, wondering what his hands would feel like on yourself instead.
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the morning of the school meeting came sooner than you would have liked. it was prior to all your classes, which eased the anxiety you would’ve had if it had been at the end of the day.
getting out of bed, you decided to look professional today. instead of the usual tee-shirt and sweatpants combo, you went for something more work casual: a pair of black bellbottom slacks and a white button up with your favorite light wash jean jacket. you topped the outfit off with your signature white converse and headed out the door, leaving early to get breakfast from the school cafeteria.
it was a nice day outside. the sun was shining enough to warm you while the wind was blowing. you smiled to yourself, putting in some headphones while you walked to the student center where the cafeteria was located. your head nodded to the beat of the songs on your playlist. while lost in song, you realized one thing: you left your bag at the dorm. all the blood rushed from your face and turned you pale. part of you wanted to run back and get it, while the other part of you knew that you’d be late for the school council meeting. you groaned to yourself, rubbing your eyes and carrying on with your walk. you decided it was best to be late for your first class rather than the meeting. in the process, you also realized that meant you didn’t have your wallet either. skipping breakfast was the only option now.
as you arrived at the student center, you headed straight to the library where the meeting was being held. you were about twenty minutes early due to not getting breakfast, which was fine with you. you went inside and decided to peer around the bookshelves to see if there was anything interesting.
while looking through the books in the medical sciences section, one in particular caught your eye. you lifted it off of the shelf and examined the cover that read ‘anatomy of the human body for dummies’. the title made you have to stifle a laugh. you’d hoped to yourself that anyone who was reading this wasn’t a pre-med major. you took your headphones out of your ears and put them back into their case before placing it into your pocket.
as you looked through the contents of the book, a familiar voice brought you back to reality. it sounded very similar to someone you knew, but who? your eyes left the pages to meet with the eyes of the one and only, chishiya shuntaro. you did your best to not immediately roll your eyes after making contact with his, closing the book you had and holding it against your chest. “can i help you?” you quizzed, attitude seeping through your words. it made him chuckle as he leaned himself against the bookshelf with his arms crossed. anyone could tell that he was an arrogant prick by the way he carried himself. you couldn’t understand why so many teachers and students alike were enamored with him.
“i said, hi y/n. is it so wrong of me to greet my fellow classmates?” the rhetoric question made you want to roll your eyes again but you didn’t, you knew it would only instigate him further. chishiya’s eyes moved from yours to the book in your hands. “anatomy of the human body… for dummies? that’s the perfect book for you.”
your eyes widened and you shoved the book back onto the shelf. you didn’t have the time to deal with his snarky attitude at eight thirty in the morning. as you walked away, you felt a hand grab at your arm. you quickly pulled it away and turned to face him, only to reveal that the gap between you both had closed in. you could feel chishiya’s breath on your face, and the scent of strawberry was in the air. it was nearly repulsive. “hey, hey. i didn’t mean it, sweetheart. you know i was jo-”
“don’t call me that.” you cut him off before he could finish his sentence. his cocky smile turned to that of a false frown, a finger lifting to just below his eye being dragged down to simulate a tear falling. it took everything in you to not scowl at him. “what do you want anyways? shouldn’t you be at track practice or tutoring some girl who’s fawning over you?” you questioned in a sarcastic tone, turning towards the bookshelf to avoid looking at him any longer. your fingers scanned over the bindings of the books, the indentions of the letters being grazed by your hand. “or better yet,” you began with the same sarcasm exuding from each word. “don’t you have some teacher’s to kiss ass to?” your eyes left the bookshelf to meet with his, a hand leaving the books to rest on your hip as you faced him this time. an eyebrow raised in question to further show how irritated you were with his presence. chishiya scoffed, holding a hand over his heart to feign hurt.
“now why would i do that?” he retorted back, seeming slightly annoyed with the rudeness you were giving him. “y’know, i don’t really understand why you don’t like me.” that statement earned a small chuckle from you as you leaned more into the hand resting on your hip. chishiya crossed his arms, returning to the stance he had against the bookshelf earlier. “i don’t get it, honestly. i’m kind, athletic, intelligent… what is there not to like, y/n?” he probed.
chishiya was right. he was a star student and the talk of the college. his grades were as perfect as they could be. he was extremely talented when it came to track and won almost every race. he wasn’t even close to being unattractive, leaving half of the female population at school that knew of him to be head over heels. there wasn’t much to not like about him. except one little thing.
“your attitude.” you answered, honestly at that. it was nearly immediate. chishiya raised an eyebrow at your statement. you took a deep breath and then sighed. “everything about you seems real, but it isn’t. you think you’re the king of the world and you’re not. i could go into detail and would love to express the ways i think you’re a phony, but i won’t. just know that you’re not who you make yourself out to be.” a genuine look of confusion and concern was plastered across his face as you spoke. you shook your head and turned to leave the star student and the stressful conversation behind.
you checked your phone as you walked away and went to go sit at the table the email told you to meet at. with five minutes left, you decided to spend it looking through your instagram feed. the door to the library opens and a few people in your year come in. you greet them with a smile and a little wave. “hey!” you say to your classmate, lily, who then sits next to you. she returns the smile as the rest gather around the table inside of the library. “you ready for the meeting?” you asked her. your anxiety for the meeting about to happen continues to rise, but her presence alone begins to stifle it.
“yes, and no. i just really wanna get it over with so i can go to class and see professor nanami!” lily leans toward you while dragging out the professor’s name. you rolled your eyes and giggled a bit before looking around. your eyes landed on chishiya who was standing close to the table, yet again leaned up against a bookshelf as if it was his signature position. this time, however, he was reading a book off of the shelf next to him. as if he was reading your mind, his eyes slowly left the pages to meet yours. a smirk played across his lips as he made contact with your eyes, making you turn back to lily who was now talking about what she had for breakfast.
mr. hayakawa, the head instructor for the student council, came through the door of the library. a sigh of relief left your lungs as you could finally get chishiya shuntaro out of your head.
the meeting went on as usual, until a familiar and annoying voice decided to speak up. “uhm, sir. i thought i’d mention that i’m also here because i wanted to run for class president. i wasn’t able to attend the last meeting, unfortunately, so i hope that i can still apply.”
all the blood that was in your face had left at this point. you couldn’t believe it— actually, you could. this is exactly the kind of thing he would do. chishiya would have the nerve to come in and ruin everything you’d planned for. the voice of mr. hayakawa brought you down from the thoughts clouded in your head and you listened to what he had to say. “that is unfortunate, but considering today is the deadline you still have time to be put on the ballot. lucky you.”
your stomach churned at the idea of having to run against someone that nearly the entire school and staff was madly in love with. you knew you had no chance and would have to pull strings if you even wanted a chance at becoming president of the graduating class. all of these thoughts were racing through your head at once and you started to feel light-headed, although it could be because of the lack of sustenance in your stomach as well.
“splendid. thank you, mr. hayakawa.” chishiya responded happily.
but… that word. splendid. your mind couldn’t understand why that single word in his voice sounded so familiar, as if you’d heard it over and over again.
until it hit you.
the flashbacks from every time you’d watched k1ng0fd1am0nd’s cam. every single time he logged off, he would say ‘have a splendid night’. you wondered why chishiya’s voice in your ear earlier sounded all-too familiar and it hit you. but could he be…? no, he couldn’t be the same person. you rejected the idea completely and pushed it in the back of your head to be locked away.
before you knew it, lily nudging your ribs brought you back to reality and you realized you’d been staring at chishiya this entire time who was returning the stare with a grin on his face. you shook your head, moving a strand of hair behind your ear before focusing back on the conversation at hand. “so, mr. shuntaro, what is your goal as president?” mr. hayakawa asked with a plain yet curious tone of voice.
“before i, hopefully, become president, i want to raise funds for a senior activity of some kind. i think it would be nice to get all of my senior classmates together for one last outing before finals, y’know? i know that it would help relieve the stress off of some of the students, me included.” chishiya answered with a smile, glancing at you ever so often. it made you want to puke.
after zoning out for most of the meeting, trying to retain some of your sanity, you finally managed to get through it. “see ya later, y/n! try not to worry too much. you’re going to be a great prez.” lily said with a smile, waving you off. you smiled back and headed to your first class of the day with a pain in your head and a pain in your ass.
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you finally made it back to your dorm and immediately flopped onto your bed, face down into the pillow. a pillow-muffled groan left your mouth as you recalled the events of today. you really couldn’t believe the audacity of chishiya shuntaro, and you really couldn’t get his voice out of your head. no, not his voice. k1ng0fd1am0nd’s voice, the camboy’s voice, out of your head. you rolled over onto your back, chucking your shoes onto the floor by pulling them at the heel. a ding from your phone distracted you, with that set tone being the indicator it was from your favorite camboy. you didn’t even want to think about him. he was the one thing that brought you some sort of happiness, and it was ruined by the one and only chishiya. you grimaced before picking up your phone and reading the notification.
k1ng0fd1am0nds: “hello, my lovely watchers. i will be holding an auction to raise funds for something very dear to me. the prize? a private cam session with me, orgasm included. tune in tomorrow night to join in on the bidding. have a splendid night.”
you took a second before realizing you were holding your breath and breathing in deeply before letting it out. everything that was happening is all too coincidental for chishiya to not be him. but there’s no way, right?
you shook your head and slid your lock screen to the side, checking the numbers in your bank account before deciding that you’re going to win that auction once and for all. there was no resting until you did.
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“hello, my lovely watchers. it’s so good to be back.” the camboy’s voice rang through the speakers of your headphones as you watched him contently. he had a mask on as usual, and his shirt was nowhere to be seen. you admired his smile, amongst other things, as you listened to what he had to say. “now, before we start, i wanted to lay out some rules. you can bid in $10 increments at minimum. the second rule is that to buy out all the bidders, you must autobuy. that means you will be paying $1000 to win the private cam session with me. got it?” his signature smirk was plastered on his face and you couldn’t help but notice how uncannily similar it was to chishiya’s grin. “let’s begin!”
it took twelve turns of bidding while the cam boy did suggestive things before you placed the bet of $500. you thought no one would outbid you, after the last bid being $250. you bit your nails, watching the screen intently. “wow! $500 from…” the camboy leaned in with a squint, reading out your username. “queenofdiamonds222? that’s adorable.” he smiled, showing all of his beautiful pearly whites. your heart raced as he said your screen name out loud. you never thought he’d notice you, and although it was because of your bid, you still felt a rush of anxiety and excitement run through you.
five bids later, you finally decide to say fuck it. “god damn it.” you say after placing your final bit with an exhale, closing your eyes and leaning your head into your hands. it was the autobuy. you knew you shouldn’t have, but your need for knowing whether or not your favorite camboy was chishiya led you to this decision. it was a win/win in your head. on one hand, if he is chishiya shuntaro, you’re right and can potentially use it against him. if it’s not, you get a private session with the one and only k1ng0fd1am0nds. it wasn’t the most financially stable decision, but you had to do what you needed to. the camboy raised a brow in the middle of gripping his semi-hard cock, almost giving you the impression that he was getting off to people bidding money on him. his eyes focused on the screen before widening and letting out a breathy laugh.
“an autobuy from none other than queenofdiamonds222! wow, thank you so much. i- i honestly can’t believe it!” the video star’s voice was full of surprise, genuinely not thinking someone would dare spend that kind of money. “i guess there you have it. i’ll send you a friend request shortly, queen. as for everyone else, i’ll be doing another livestream later this week to take donations. i hope you all enjoyed, and have a splendid night.” with that, he was gone.
part of you felt relieved that you didn’t have to wait any longer. the other part? you could die on the spot. your heart was racing and your palms sweaty at the idea of meeting k1ng0fd1amond’s. although it wasn’t in person, the idea was still extremely anxiety inducing. a fwhip ding from your laptop distracted you from the nerve-wracking thoughts in your mind. it was a friend request from the one and only cam boy. you gulped deeply, hands shaking as you slid your fingers across your mousepad to accept. a few seconds later, a video call notification popped up on your screen from him. “fuck.” you whispered under your breath. “i can do this, i can do it. it’s fine.” you muttered, fixing your hair as if that would make a difference. you answered the call with your video camera still turned off.
k1ng0fd1amond’s face was plastered across your screen, a soft smile playing across his lips. “hello, my queen.” he greeted, leaning back to show off his toned torso. muffled r&b music played in the background of his video call, seemingly setting the mood. “now, as i said, you get this video call with me. however, it would make it much more interesting if i also got to see your face, considering i’m showing mine for the first time.” he leaned forward, mask still covering half of his face. his pretty chesnut-colored eyes were sheltered by long lashes, making his eyes look more sultry. “so, how about it?” the camboy quizzed and lifted his fingers to the edge of his mask as if he were to lift it at any moment.
you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. “okay.” you stated softly, reaching the mousepad with your hand and turning on your camera. you stared at him as your face popped up in the corner of the screen, slightly messy hair framing your face. you bit your lip out of anxiety, hoping nothing could go wrong. the cam boy paused, mouth open slightly as if he was examining your face. his eyes darted around, intently staring at the screen before smiling.
“this does, in fact, make things much more interesting.” his fingers delicately hovering over the edges of the mask finally grasped it and pulled it off. your heart nearly dropped out of your ass. all of your suspicions were proven at this moment as his face was uncovered.
chishiya sat there with his signature cocky grin, staring at you through the screen. it felt like you were also naked with how embarrassment flooded your entire body. “are you going to say anything, y/n? or are you just going to stare at me with your mouth open as if you want something inside of it?” his attitude was repulsive, but you couldn’t help but think back to how many times he’d gotten you off without even touching you. his voice, his eyes, the way he stroked himself… all of those things led to your own orgasm countless time. you clenched your jaw, pushing those thoughts aside for the time being.
“i knew it was you, i just needed to prove it.” your voice was shaky, and your breathing continued to become more unsteady.
“okay, so now you know it’s me. now what?” chishiya questioned, raising a brow and seeming unfazed. “you gonna tell the whole school that i’m an exhibitionist? that i take pleasure in knowing people watch me to get off, hmm?”
“n-no…” all of your confidence went out the window. “i just wanted to prove it to myself.” your answer was honest to an extent. you did want to use it against him, but that would be cruel. the perfect chishiya shuntaro, a cam boy. it would be hard for some to believe, but you knew that somehow it would benefit him.
“you paid all of this money, so do you want to get to it?” chishiya asked, cocking his head to the side and letting his hand slowly glide to his lower torso. you stared intently before looking back up at his face which was riddled with arrogance.
“get.. get to what?” you asked curiously, breath hitching in the back of your throat as you felt yourself start to get more turned on. although you truly despised him, he was still the camboy you admired dearly.
“you know exactly what i mean. you can still hate chishiya shuntaro, but don’t try to deny that i get you off better than anyone else could.” that statement from him earned a breathy and near-silent moan. you weren't even touching yourself and he’d already gotten you to the point of wanting to do indescribable things to yourself while listening to his voice. “see, that’s a good girl.” chishiya praised you for the noise you made, his voice dripping with confidence.
“i-i can’t. you’re… i-” words seemed to get stuck in the back of your throat with every sentence you tried to speak.
“and why not? you mean to tell me that you paid all of that money and are gonna let it go to waste, princess?” the nickname made you clench your jaw out of frustration, but not in the bad way. “you know you want to…” you watched his hands grip around his cock, getting harder with every word. you stared at the spot on his grey sweatpants that began to get soaked with his precum. “look at what you’re doing to me, y/n.”
nothing could’ve stopped you at this point. you placed your laptop towards the end of the bed and sat on your knees, unbuttoning your shirt that you’d worn to school earlier that day. you looked into the camera, heart racing and breath spiking with every button that was undone. your hands lingered on the last button before pulling off your shirt to reveal your pretty white lace bra. chishiya bit his lip, his hand gripping his dick and moving up and down the shaft slowly as if he was teasing himself. you could hear him stifle a moan as he watched you undress yourself.
“you’re so beautiful. i’m surprised you don’t show yourself off on camera.” that comment earned a small chuckle as you were finally down to your bra and panties. chishiya slid his grey sweatpants off to reveal a tented bulge in his boxers. his hands stroked the member at a slow and steady pace, as if he went any faster that he’d combust. you let out a soft groan at the sight, feeling yourself become wetter by the second. “lay down on your back. i want to see all of you.” chishiya ordered, becoming more flustered by the second.
you listened to his words as if they were controlling you, positioning yourself on your back to where he could see everything from the side. your eyes closed briefly before the nerves got to you. “chishiya, i-” you started before he quickly cut you off.
“i don’t want you to speak unless spoken to. the only things that should be coming out of your mouth besides moans are ‘yes, daddy’, ‘no, daddy’, and ‘thank you, daddy’. understood?” his words made you moan as your fingers lingered over your bra-covered breasts, touching yourself so lightly that it made you want more. you nodded, biting your lip and daring to look at the screen. chishiya was positioned to where you could see from his thighs to the top of his head. you took in the way his face stared intently at you with a lasting expression of lust. his toned torso moved in sync with his rapidly increasing breaths, and his hands were teasing the tip of his cock. the cam boy raised a brow, expecting you to answer.
”yes, daddy.” you replied nearly breathless. you couldn’t believe the state you were in with not having done anything yet. this reply garnered a genuine and lecherous smile.
“that’s my girl. now, take off your bra.” your hands didn’t hesitate to reach around and unclasp the device, taking off the undergarment in one swift motion. you awaited his next command as the cool air from your room made your nipples perk up. chishiya licked his lips. his movements on his girthy member becoming more steady with each stroke. “i want you to touch your nipples, softly. pinch them, tease them. show me how you touch yourself when you watch me.”
you did your best to push the embarrassment of knowing that chishiya knew you had gotten off to him countless times. the tips of your fingers came up and twirled your nipples, head leaning back into the bedsheets as you let out a soft gasp. you pinched them in between your fingertips, teasing them while replaying thoughts of him stroking his cock. “daddy…” you let out in a breathless moan. it was a plead for more, and you knew he wasn’t going to give it to you just yet.
your other hand came up and gripped your breast, squeezing it softly as you closed your eyes. your pussy tingled with anticipation and your hips bucked up slightly at the feeling. you wanted more. you needed more. your eyes opened as you turned your head to glance at him. chishiya was staring at you with lascivious eyes, almost as if they were imploring for more.
you slid your hands down, not caring that he only said to touch your nipples. you stuck your thumbs on the inside of your panties, glancing down at them for a moment before returning your eyes to him. his teeth tugging on his bottom lip was confirmation enough, leading you to pull your underwear completely off. chishiya followed suit, revealing his cock that was hidden behind his boxers. you’d seen it many times, but this one was different. it was so much more intimate knowing he, too, was watching you. his hands gripped the thick member, stroking it at a steady pace as he watched you unravel yourself for him.
“fuck, i fucking need you.” chishiya’s words were enough for you to bring one hand to your breast and slide the other down to your pussy in hopes of relieving some tension. “that’s a good fucking girl. keep going.” he ordered as moans left your mouth over and over, eyes fluttering back and forth. you imagined that instead of your fingers, it was chishiya’s stroking your sensitive and swollen clit. you wished it was him teasing at your nipples with his tongue instead of your own hands. the thought alone pushed you closer to the edge.
“chi!” you gasped, curling your fingers inside of yourself and watching him continue to speed up the movements on his cock. his hands were curled around his member, stroking at a fast pace while watching you touch yourself. the moans leaving his mouth were heavenly. thoughts of what they’d sound like as he was inside of you flooded your mind, making you speed up the pace of your fingers.
“keep going. fucking faster. that’s my good fucking girl. such a good toy for daddy.” chishiya muttered out of nothing more than lust. you obliged to his demands with a ‘yes, sir’, doing what he ordered as if you’d done it a million times.
you felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm. your hips bucked over and over as you continued to fuck yourself with your fingers, watching him pant and continue to stroke himself. “gonna cum for me?” chishiya asked in between melodious moans. you nodded intensely, squeezing your eyes shut as your felt your orgasm bubbling. “beg.” he ordered sternly, mouth opening as sweat rippled across his forehead.
“please, chishiya! please, daddy!” you begged, curling your toes and bucking your hips. you turned your head and dared to open your eyes and watch him. “please let me cum for you. please, daddy. i need to cum for you.” you pleaded as your release was closer than you could imagine. chishiya moaned deeply, speeding up his movements to match yours.
“cum for me. cum, you stupid fucking slut.” with his words, you felt your orgasm wash over and relieve you of any stress you’d built up. your moans rang through his speakers as you reached your release. looking over, you watched as he reached his orgasm, squirting his cum all over his torso. chishiya’s breathing was rapid and his eyes were closed. he brought a hand up and brushed his hair out of his face, leaning his head onto the pillow behind him. “fuck…” he said breathlessly.
“yeah…” you agreed with a stifled chuckle, closing your eyes and leaning further into the mattress. the real world creeped in slowly, persisting you to grab a shirt from the floor and put it on to cover up. chishiya did the same, grabbing his boxers and putting them on to cover himself after cleaning his release from off of his stomach. “so.” you said awkwardly, brushing your now messy hair behind your ear and positioning yourself to sit and face the camera.
“so?” chishiya asked curiously, a sweet smile curled on his lips with the singular word. he rolled his eyes and scoffed. “please don’t tell me you’re gonna make this awkward now.” you blushed, looking away and biting your lip out of anxiety.
“no, i just-” you began before shaking your head and looking down. you lifted your head shortly after to face him and begin again. “this never happened, okay?” the look of disappointment replaced his smile and he pursed his lips to the side. he nodded in agreement, mumbling a defeated ‘yeah’ while shaking his head.
“as you wish, my queen.” the name made you genuinely laugh, causing him to sit for a moment and admire you. you took a moment before regaining yourself, admiring him as well. his eyes were so beautiful, something you loved about him before knowing it was him. chishiya’s lips were so perfectly tuned for his face, as if god himself took his time to make sure he’d have a lovely smile and an even more lovely kiss. you shrugged the thoughts off and decided to call it here.
“bye, chishiya.” the voice was not meant to sound sad, but it came out as if you were slightly heartbroken. you didn’t want the fun to end, but you knew it was for the best. chishiya wasn’t your friend, nor your acquaintance. he was the star student of your college, a famous cam boy, and your academic rival. nothing about this would work. you sighed, content with knowing the answers you sought after in the first place.
“see ya later, y/n.” even his voice sounded sad, but in the same way as yours of knowing what’s best for each of you.
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it had been two weeks since your escapade with chishiya and you’d been avoiding him the entire time. every time you seen him, whether it be in the cafeteria or the library, you immediately turned around to go the other way. he tried multiple times to give you a small wave but you couldn’t bear to think of the things you two did together.
the thoughts flooded your mind as your physics book was laid out in front of you, notes scattered across the table in the back of the near-empty library. it was 7pm on a friday, meaning everyone was either out partying or doing their own thing in their dorms. you, however, had to study immensely for your upcoming midterms. the thought alone made you groan and shove your head in your hands. “fuckin’ christ. i should just drop out.” you muttered dismissively, not wanting to study any longer.
“that’s not the attitude i’d expect from our future class president.” the words stung your ears as a familiar voice flooded them. you lifted your head slowly, eyes cautiously settling on chishiya who was watching you intently. your face flushed with a crimson blush after avoiding him for so long. he lifted his hand and did a small wave that you’d rejected many times before this meeting. “hi, y/n.”
“chishiya, i really don’t have time for this.” you stated in an annoyed and exhausted tone, beginning to close your books. he walked over slowly, grabbing at your wrist that was trying to put away the notes. chishiya closed the gap between you, leaning over and getting closer to your face. his eyes left yours for a moment to peer at your lips, only to look back up and smirk. you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding and pulled your wrist away. he released a chortle, sitting close to you on the table where your scattered notes lay.
“c’mon. you don’t wanna talk to me?” chishiya questioned with a smile, shaking his head. “and after all we’ve been through…” he tsked, putting a hand over his heart. the blush that had since faded returned, making you turn your head away from him in attempts to hide it. chishiya noticed by the redness of your ears and without further hesitation grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. “what do you say we do it right here, right now?” a devilish grin was stuck on his face as he leaned in closer to you, almost as if he were to kiss you. your tongue left your mouth to lick your lips before he moved right past your face and went to your ear. the star student licked along the outskirts of your earlobes before breathily whispering. “i can feel how much you’re aching for me right now, sweetheart. tell me you want me to take you in this library for everyone to see.” a moan slipped from your mouth as the grip on your chin shifted to your throat, squeezing ever so slightly to arise a reaction from you. “don’t you wanna be a good girl for me, y/n?”
that phrase alone made you wiggle with anticipation, causing his mouth to leave your ear and look at you. his hand left your throat and rested on either side of you, positioned on the chair you were sitting at. chishiya’s eyes darted from your own to your lips, as if questioning if you really wanted to do this. your breathing was steadily increasing, as was your heart rate. part of you wanted to say no, to leave immediately. but you were desperate for him. you needed him to devour you like an animal. before you could say no, your body produced a nod for chishiya.
his hands left the chair and instantaneously connected with your jaw again, closing the space between you and engulfing your lips into a kiss. your hand wrapped around his wrist, nudging it down as if begging him to put it around your throat. chishiya smiled into the kiss and did as you requested, gripping your neck just enough to cut off the blood flow and send a rush to your head once he let go. the bliss of his tongue entering your mouth and intertwining with your own made you moan into his mouth, scooting closer to the edge of the chair to be more near him. chishiya took this as a sign to further things as he lifted your body off of the chair , still locked in the kiss, and move you to the table. pages of your notes fluttering across the floor with the swift movement. you wrapped your legs around his waist, deeping the kiss by pulling his head closer. the feeling of his hardening cock behind his white joggers against your own sweatpants made a moan escape your vocal chords into his mouth. chishiya pulled away from the kiss and moved the chair you’d previously been sitting in to settle himself on his knees. you raised a brow, confused by his actions. “chishiya?”
a fiendish grin made its way onto his lips as he placed his thumbs through the waistband of your sweatpants and tugged them down along with your underwear. “i don’t want you to speak unless spoken to. the only things that should be coming out of your mouth besides moans are ‘yes, daddy’, ‘no, daddy’, and ‘thank you, daddy’. understood?” the familiar words made you lose your breath as you remembered the moments from a week ago. you nodded hastily and let him continue. “atta girl.” chishiya praised before kissing up your thighs, gripping them with a steady pressure on either side. his mouth found its way to your stomach by sliding your shirt up, lifting himself up ever so slightly to reach your nipples. he looked up at you with his dark chocolate eyes before immersing your the sensitive buds into his mouth, sucking on them with no hesitation. his teeth bit them gingerly, continuing to suckle at them as he did so. chishiya moved to the other side and continued to do the same thing before moving on, lips interchanging between peppering kisses down your torso and fellating the skin there.
his movements continued until he was face to face with your pussy. a deep breath exhaling from him caused you to buck your hips, in search of some sort of contact. you bit your lip at the unconscious act of desperation that your body performed. you never expected to be so submissive in the presence of chishiya shuntaro. his eyes locked with yours before licking up the sides of your folds, tasting in the sweet juices that had trickled out. you leaned on one arm and used the other one to cover your mouth with your hand. even though you knew no one was in the library, you couldn’t imagine getting caught in this position right now.
chishiya continued to explore you with his mouth, licking along everywhere except where you needed him most. “chi- daddy…” you corrected yourself quickly, before continuing. “daddy, please. i-” his eyes focused in on you, darkening as you continued to speak in stuttered breaths. “i need you, chishiya.” those words were like a switch in his brain as he began to devour every piece of you his tongue could reach. you did your best to withhold the sounds of pleasure that dared to escape your mouth as he suckled at your extremely sensitive clit. chishiya’s tongue made its way up and down your folds before settling on your clit, nibbling it ever so slightly. the explicit noises he made ellicited a deep moan from you, causing chishiya to groan into your pussy. before you knew it, you were being filled by not one, but two, of chishiya’s fingers. a loud whimper made its way out of your mouth. you gave up leaning on your arm and gave way to laying down fully on the table, squeezing your thighs around chishiya’s warm face. the pressure against your sweet spot combined with the movements of his tongue had you seeing stars.
“cum.” chishiya commanded out of nowhere., muffled by your wet cunt. you hadn’t realized the feeling of your orgasm creeping up on you before he’d said something. not responding in a proper enough time frame from him, he got up and leaned over the table, fingers still working at your g-spot. “i said cum, you pathetic whore. cum for me.” his hand went over your mouth as he kept bullying your insides with his middle and ring finger. “look at me.” chishiya demanded. the look on his face and his continuous movements led you to your orgasm, slick juices covering his hands as he slowed his pace down. your erratic breathing elicited a smirk from him, the signature, cocky smirk. he removed the hand covering your mouth and replaced it with the fingers that were inside of you, which you gladly and hastily licked clean. “what a good fuckin’ girl. now say ‘thank you, daddy’.”
“thank you, daddy.” you replied breathlessly, still coming down from the high of having an orgasm by his hands.
chishiya leaned in and kissed you, his tongue slowly making its way to ravage your mouth and selfishly steal the taste of your juices from you. suddenly, he pulled away with a familiar devilish grin. “now, should i give you what you want, or should i fuck your face like you’re my own personal fleshlight?” the vulgar words made your face hot with embarrasment, but you didn’t care anymore. you just wanted him, in any way you could have him.
“whatever you want, daddy. anything for you.” you responded in a sultry tone, wanting nothing more than to please him at this moment. chishiya’s lips curled into a smile as he pulled you to the edge of the table, making you sit up.
“knees. now.” those two words sent chills down your spine as you moved to listen to him. you looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, giving him an innocent facial expression even though he ate you out like he’d been starving for days. chishiya chuckled, pulling his sweatpants down enough for his cock to bounce out from the restraint of the clothing. “look at you,” he began with a hand on your jawline, running his thumb across your chin and up to your lips. he pulled your bottom lip down with his fingertips, eliciting you to open your mouth. chishiya’s spare hand was stroking his member at a painfully slow pace, precum dripping onto the floor. you took his thumb into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and closing your eyes before opening them and making eye contact. “you’re such a pretty fucking slut, y/n.” he took his thumb out of your mouth and continued to stroke your jawline, eyes never leaving yours. a smirk took over his face before he pulled his hand back and landed a slap on your face, just enough to move your head but not enought to hurt you. “open that slutty mouth of yours, yeah?”
you made an opening with your mouth for him, continuing to stare up into his hazel eyes. chishiya used his hand to move his member and hit it against your cheek, making a light slapping noise from the contact. he moved the tip to your lips, rubbing the dripping precum against them before slowly entering his dick inside of your mouth. he let out a deep moan as you continued to take him inside of your mouth, flattening your tongue as to rub it against the underside of his shaft. chishiya’s soft palms grasped at either side of your face, fingers tangling in the hair that he could grasp. he started off slow, pulling his cock out to the tip and moving back in, doing the same again but only taking half out this time. you mustered up the confidence you could to not gag and pull off of him. suddenly, he began to fuck your face fiercely. chishiya shoved all the way in to your mouth with each thrust at a steady, quick pace. he was desperate to feel you around him, gripping your hair harder with each thrust and letting moans go with each time you’d gag around him. “s’fuckin good.” he praised while moving a hand to clench your hair into a ponytail. he used his free hand to lean on the table behind him while he thrusted into your mouth. the sounds coming from his mouth could’ve made the heaven’s cry by how lovely they were. you closed your eyes, focusing on breathing through your nose and whimpering with every harsher thrust chishiya delivered. the feeling of his cock riding in and out of your mouth so recklessly made you wish it was inside of you instead.
all too soon, he pulled his cock out of your mouth and grabbed you by your arms to place you on the table. “need you. now.” chishiya stated frantically, kissing you in between sentences. his hand made it’s way to your folds, entering two fingers in suddenly and curling to hit your sensitive spot a few times before pulling them out almost as quickly as they were inside. he grabbed his girthy cock, positioning it in front of your pussy and sliding it along the slit. a breathy ‘fuck’ escaped his lips before he shoved it in without warning. you leaned on one arm, your free hand covering your mouth to prevent a scream from escaping as he pounded into you at full speed. you could tell he needed this.
chishiya thrusted into you over and over again, continuing to defile your insides with his cock. you bucked your hips in sync with him as his hands gripped your waist, pulling you onto him more with each thrust. you felt like you were drunk or high, as if you were in a haze. your thoughts were incoherent as he started plowing in and out of your cunt, merciless by accident with how roughly he moved— not that you were complaining, quite the opposite with how hard it was to keep quiet inside of this empty public library. sounds of desperate moans and skin on skin filled the room. chishiya seemed determined to make you cream around his cock in a way that would make you completely forget everything but the image of him on top of you on this table. a groan slipped from your lips, making you arch your back as he hit the sweet spot inside of you. “be quiet.” chishiya grunted, moving your hand from your mouth and letting it fall onto the table to support you. he replaced your own hand by shoving two fingers in your mouth. you happily obliged to this filling, sucking on his fingers and whimpering around them as he relentlessly thrusted.
between incoherent pleads for more around his fingers and breathless moans, you felt your orgasm drawing closer with each time he entered you. a bubbly feeling was growing by the second, and your expressions of pleasure soon heightened in pitch. “d-daddy… ‘m close!” the broken words escaped your mouth as soon as he removed his fingers from your mouth to return to your hips in hopes of somehow bringing himself deeper into you, although being already balls deep. “that’s it, cream all over my cock.” chishiya’s fingers immediately went for your clit, fingertips circling the swollen and sensitive bud to send you over the edge.
between the clenching of your walls closing around him from your high releasing and the thrusts continuing at full force, his orgasm followed suit. his beautiful, low moans filled your ears as he emptied his load inside of you, the thick liquid slowly coming out your hole and spilling onto the table as he continued to thrust slowly while he hit his high. chishiya stopped moving his hips eventually, leaning his chin to rest on your shoulder. you both were a panting mess and the library was extremely dark. he pulled out with a wince at how sensitive he was before pulling up his boxers and sweatpants. he helped you off the table, legs still shaking from the exchange. you leaned into him, pulling your own sweatpants up and tightening them around your waist. you looked up into his eyes. they were glassy and still full of lust, but still beautiful. “let me walk you to the dorms.” chishiya said, more of a statement than a question. you inhaled deeply and nodded, not having the energy to tell him you could go alone.
chishiya helped you pack your things into your bag before you both left the library, eyeing the one old lady sitting at the desk who seemed to be oblivious to everything happening around her. she had an old headset on and seemed to be reading a very thick book. you both shook your head simultaneously and headed out the door towards the dorms.
after a few minutes walking in silence, you decided to speak up. “y’know this doesn’t change anything, right?” you quizzed, looking straight ahead so as not to look at his face. chishiya’s familiar chuckle flooded your ears as he nodded.
“i figured. you’re very stubborn.” he joked, playfully pushing you to the side. you laughed in return and returned to your original position on the sidewalk next to him. “however,” he began, making your ears perk up. you looked over at chishiya who had a devilish grin. “you don’t always have to watch me on camera. you could join me, too…”
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itsoutrageouss · 1 year
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Can u do a story where Elliot gives the reader head with ice in his mouth <33 storyline could be anything lol
So pretty like this
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pairing: elliot x reader
words: 800 ish
warnings: smut, elliot being pussy eating champ, ice-play? temperature-play? cute ass motherfuckers
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Loud, bass music was thrumming in your ears, streaming through your veins so your heart thrummed to the beat. You felt Elliot’s eyes on you, leaning against the wall nearby with Rue. A red plastic cup hung loosely in his hand as he chatted with Rue despite his eyes following you like a lost puppy’s. You danced with Jules and a few other of your mutual friends. It felt unfamiliar, and you were sure your body was moving extremely awkwardly and stiff. Elliot didn’t seem to notice that though, that’s at least what you gathered from the look in his eyes. His head was tipped down slightly, eyes peering through his thick lashes dangerously. You couldn’t help but swallow thickly, feeling your palms sweat and face grow red.
“I’m gonna take a break,” you shouted over the music to Jules who nodded sweetly at you before going back to her dancing. You pushed through closed-off crowds of people before actually reaching Elliot and Rue. Before you could say hello, Elli grabbed your wrist.
“Hey uh- we’ll be right back,’ he told Rue, wiping his nose and smiling distractedly to his friend before pulling you through the kitchen and up the flight of stairs that housed several drunk, sad people.
“Elli, where are we going?” You asked with a sheepish chuckle. His hurrying could be mistaken for either lust or anger and it made you nervous. Had you done something wrong?
You and Elliot weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend per se, but the air was never not tense whenever you were around each other. You often used weed or alcohol as an excuse to hook up with each other but had never actually described your relationship any further than ‘we’re close’
He tried a few doors until a free guest bedroom was available. He closed and locked the door while you stood silently, still not sure if he was mad or horny. Your hands were fidgeting in front of you, chest heaving from standing and cheeks rosy. You were sure you looked a mess, but right after he had locked the door, elliot spun around and pulled you in roughly by the waist, red cup still in hand. His lips were on yours in a matter of seconds, tongue already probing to taste you. You let out a surprised moan into his mouth that he gratefully accepted with a sigh. It was lust, thank god.
“Sit down,” he muttered, voice hoarse and low as he dragged your hips down to the edge of the bed. He had never been this straightforward before. It was always slow at first, hesitant touched and kisses. You couldn’t deny the pulsing between your legs at his manhandling- it seemed there was no time for bullshit on his end. He wanted you now.
He placed the cup on the floor to lift up your skirt, dragging down your panties. It was fast, you barely registered what happened before a hand gently pushed you back on the mattress and your legs were spread, pussy on display for him. Your heart was racing, and you were clenching around nothing at his determination. At the silence. He was just looking at you, right where he knew only he could see you. It didn’t last too long though, and you heard him sip his drink, which you found odd. It made you raise your head from the sheets, but once again you were cut off by his cold tongue licking up your slit. You sighed, thighs twitching as your head fell back.
though he never stopped to surprise you, because soon you felt something ice cold against your clit that made you roll your eyes back, hand desperately reaching for his curls.
“Elli, What-“ you moaned again brokenly out into the air with a small, surprised ‘oh’ and the unexpected feeling. You barely registered that it was an ice cube from his drink. It was melting quickly from the heat of your pussy but he used it eagerly with his tongue, swirling it in circles around your throbbing clit. Your brows furrowed in pleasure, never believing a change of temperature could feel so good. Your thighs clenched his head as he moved the tiny piece of ice down from your clit to your hole. He pushed it in along with his tongue and your thighs clenched tightly around his head, the cold feeling inspiring a new kind of pleasure that had your wetness coating his tongue immediately.
“God, Elliot,” you whimpered helplessly as his now warm tongue touched your clit, mouth enveloping you and sucking harshly. Suddenly everything was warm again and you felt so fucking close to cumming.
“Taste so fucking good, Doll. Want you so bad,” he muttered into your pussy, feeling your hips rock into his face. Your lifted your head only for your eyes to meet as he shook his head from side to side with his tongue right on your bundle of nerves. You came with a loud whine, a broken mix of his name and cuss words. He looked so fucking pretty between your legs, big brown eyes looking up at you innocently- an extreme paradox to what he was doing to you. You softly pushed his head away and he leaned back onto his heels with a content sigh.
“Thought about doing that for fucking hours,” he said with a subtle smile up at you. “Was it okay?”
You saw a sliver of the gentle, nervous elliot behind the lust and confidence there. “I never even knew that was a thing. It was amazing elliot,” you replied with a chuckle, still feeling the wetness of your cum and the melted ice between your legs.
“Well you look really fucking pretty like this,” he muttered, thumb running through your folds still on display. It made you twitch from sensitivity and your face heated up quickly at the way he looked at what he was doing.
He gave you back your panties and you knew they’d feel uncomfortable with your slick the rest of the night, but it had been worth it.
“I’m the only one that gets to do this to you, right?” He asked right as you were about to unlock the door. His hand was on your waist again.
“Yes, Elli. It’s only you” you assured him, turning to look into his eyes. You wanted to show him how much you meant it.
“M’ all yours.” You left before he could reply out of nervousness, and therefore missed the adoring smile that fell over his face.
You were all his.
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Elliot tag list: (comment if u wanna be added)
@apricxtt @jazzmin-foster @haleyvoegele @heyhowareyousstuff @maddyscherryrollingpapers @karinababyyyy @daybabyyyyy @s11141 @4lyssasworld @funkypigeondotcom1 @xzaviaaaa @fezcosweed @shayleezoecur @rafelover2405 @sailoormooonnn @quinnayen @ellyskey @symmmm @loveilovetoo @chanelvalentina @renjiminaj @cupcakebrisblog @gbcslut @ffokucf @fishfungus @fanboychumchum4life @yjunrecords @dumb-bitch-that-ships21 @empirerecords
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thiswasneverthat · 8 months
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him as your bestfriend (who's secretly in love with you.)
happy belated birthday, sweetest christopher.
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First and foremost, the term 'secretly in love with you' didn't quite apply to Chris.
It was not because he ever vocalized his affection; but rather, the poor guy's emotions weren't the type that could easily be concealed. There were times when the heat would slowly creep up his cheeks at the moment you unconsciously grabbed his arm during movie night; or when you simply sit a little bit too close to him.
From the very moment you crossed paths in college, your lives became intertwined. Fast forward a few years, and even in the professional world when the two of you worked at the same company, nothing had altered. You and Chris remained inseparable, like two puzzle pieces that had found their perfect fit.
All along, you were acutely aware of his feelings for you. It wasn't like he was the master of subtlety, despite his best intentions. He convinced himself that his emotions were a well-kept secret, solely because he never uttered a word about them.
But, oh, the truth was far from his perception.
Your mutual friends, the ones who witnessed the sparks fly whenever you two were together, were not as oblivious as he thought. They quietly shared knowing glances behind your backs, exchanging unspoken truths that floated in the air, forming an invisible thread of connection between you and this affectionate but seemingly covert admirer.
Knowing Chris for years had granted you an unparalleled understanding, almost as though you possessed a special ability to read him like an open book. It was in the subtle nuances, the unspoken gestures, and the way his eyes lingered on you just a moment longer than anyone else. The way he uttered your name held a unique cadence, a tenderness that set it apart from the rest of the world.
His actions also spoke volumes, a silent declaration of his affection. From those daily post-work rides that ended at your doorstep to the steaming cup of coffee that appeared magically in your hands each morning, even though he was no coffee aficionado himself. As if it was the most natural thing, he wove his affection into your everyday life.
And then there were the moments of solace where he held you close when tears welled in your eyes, offering hushed comfort when words fell short. On holidays, Chris became your reliable chauffeur, ensuring you reached your parents' house with ease.
But perhaps the defining moment was when he stepped inㅡ a knight in modern armor, to protect you from the advances of an unruly drunkard during a night out with friends. It was in these moments, when his affection for you transcended mere words and blossomed into the unspoken verse of actions.
Well.. How endearingly oblivious he was.
He carried this fallacy that by keeping his feelings unspoken, they would remain a well-guarded secret. 
More often than not, you also found yourself yearning for a different script, one where Chris would step out of his best friend persona and take the role of someone more than that.
You really couldn't help but wish he would just muster up the courage to articulate those elusive words, breaking free from the confines of the 'best friend' charade that he maintained with such dedication for years. 
The frustration, like a relentless drumbeat, echoed within you because you had lost count of the times you teetered on the edge of confessing your own feelings.
However, in the grand scheme of things, you were very much aware of the added layers of complexity. The cliché was undeniable: you wanted him just as fervently, if not more so. Yet, your hesitation served as a sentinel against reckless decisions.
You understood the profound risk involved. The weight of the question lingered in your mind like a persistent echo: was it worth jeopardizing the treasured friendship you shared for the possibility of something more like.. love?
Because the fear loomed largeㅡ that one day, if the tides turned unfavorably, your beautifully woven friendship with him might fray and unravel.
And more than you would like to admit, the mere thought of losing him shattered you into a gazillion pieces.
So, until the time you would be ready, or until that one point where you just really couldn't take it anymore, you convinced yourself to put on a smile and pretend to be blissfully oblivious as he was. 
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