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daisyblog · 22 hours

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First Date

Summary: Harry and YN are set up on a date.

2019

Jonny had separately nagged YN and Harry to let him set them up on a date. Harry’s argument was that he was in the middle of writing his second album, and wanted to be on his own after his last break up. YN’s protest was that she was a single working Mum who didn’t have the time, and added “nobody wants to date a single mum”.

After what felt like months of constant begging, Harry and YN both gave in to their friend and agreed to go on a date. Jonny had arranged for them to meet at a small quiet restaurant on the outskirts of London, knowing Harry would want to stay under the radar.

YN had been nervous all day. She had messaged Jonny several times to try and cancel but he insisted that it was just nerves and she should give it a chance. Harry felt mixed emotions, part of him was nervous, he was meeting someone new but the other part of him was excited because he knew Jonny wouldn’t set him up with just anyone.

Harry arrived at the restaurant first, being fifteen minutes early. He was shown to their table which he was grateful was tucked into a corner away from other tables. He knew that was down to Jonny’s request. Wanting to calm his nervous, Harry ordered a bottle of wine for them, hoping YN liked it too.

He had just taken a small sip from his glass, when he saw the waiter walking towards him with a woman following behind. Harry stood from his chair, ready to greet her. “Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you”. Harry spoke first, bringing YN in for a hug.

“Jonny and his persuasive ways huh?”. YN joked, causing Harry to smile knowing Jonny must have nagged YN as much as he had nagged him.

Harry pulled YN’s chair out for her to sit before taking his place back in her own. “I ordered wine, I can get you something else if you’d prefer”.

“No…wine is perfect, thank you”. YN smiled with appreciation, showing her little dimples. “I like your tattoos”. She complimented as she noticed them on his arm, that was exposed due to his short sleeved shirt.

Harry glanced down as he looked at his arm, smiling slightly at the mixture of ink that covered his skin. “Uh thanks…I have too many to count”. He giggled. “Do you have any?”. He gestured to his tattoos.

YN hesitated before explaining. “I have one…on my wrist”. She turned her hand over to reveal the delicate ink on her right wrist. “It’s my son’s name”. YN watched for a change in Harry’s response or how he may end the date now.

But what surprised YN was Harry’s genuine grin as he looked down at her wrist. “What’s his name?”. His question was genuine, YN could tell by how he looked at her directly in the eye which a soft look.

“Jacob”. YN smiled as she thought about her favourite person. The little boy who saved her in more ways than he would ever know. “He’s five and a real sweetheart.”. Harry noticed how YN’s whole face lit up as she spoke about him. “Does me having a son not bother you?”. YN couldn’t help but ask.

Harry frowned at her question before shaking his head. “Of course not…I don’t date people based on if they’re a parent, or if they have a certain job or x amount of money in the bank…I date people for them.”.

“I’m sorry…I couldn’t help but ask, I’m not used to people being so understanding when it comes to Jacob”. YN apologised, hoping she hadn’t ruined the date before it had started properly.

“Hey…it’s fine, you can be yourself tonight…there’s no judgement from me.” Harry reassured her, knowing how it felt for someone not to get to know you and having a false opinion.

“Thank you…that really means a lot”. YN smiled before taking a sip from her glass, needing to treat her dry throat.

“So tell me about you and Jacob…I can see he’s your life and I want to know more”. The sentence caused a spark in YN’s chest at how interested Harry was in not only her but the one person who mattered the most.

Harry and YN had talked, laughed and smiled all evening. YN couldn’t remember the last time she felt like herself and was able to be just YN and not just a Mum. Harry wondered how he hadn’t met YN sooner because for once someone didn’t want to speak to him because he was Harry Styles, he could see that YN was genuinely interested in getting to know him as just Harry.

Harry had learnt that YN was in university studying business when she fell pregnant but had to drop out before graduating. But now owned her own florist in London. He noticed that she hasn’t mentioned her family apart from Jacob, but decided it was best to leave it that way for now. She didn’t ask one question related to the band or his music, she asked questions about his family, where he grew up, his childhood memories and all the little things that built up who he is today.

After they had finished their meals and nicely argued about how the bill was going to be paid, they found themselves walking through a quieter part of town, still chatting and giggling like two teenagers. They wanted to blame the wine but deep down they both knew it was from the excitement of each other.

Harry had arranged for a taxi to drop them both back home. They were both supposed to realise that YN didn’t live far from Harry’s Hampstead house. He walked YN up to her door to make sure she was home safe. They both stood staring at each other, waiting for the other to break the silence. Smirks covering their smiles.

“I had a really nice time tonight”. Harry broke first, meaning what he had said.

“Me too!”. YN felt shy for the first time all evening.

“Can I see you again?”. Harry was bold, he hadn’t felt like this after a date before and he wasn’t willing to lose his chance.

YN smiled, she felt special and chosen for once and inside she was screaming with happiness. Harry really wanted to see her again. “I’d love that”.

They quickly swapped numbers and Harry was eager to arrange to see YN again. Before making his way back to the taxi that was waiting patiently, he leaned in to hug YN goodbye. It was like neither of them wanted to let go but the feeling of Harry’s lips leaving a peck on her cheek is what caused YN to jump around in happiness once she closed the door behind her that night.

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watchmegetobsessed · 10 months

Note

Any chance you could do a famous single mum reader x Harry fic

since he’s a certified MILF lover

CRUSH

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

SUMMARY: Harry has been into you for way too long, but you haven't given him a chance. You run into each other at the Grammy's afterparty and you finally tell him why you're so adamant about keeping your distance.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

Harry will forever remember tonight.

It’s his second time going home as a Grammy winner and nothing can ruin this experience for him, not even how his performance was ruined. He did it again and nothing else matters for now.

Or at least that’s how he should be feeling as he is celebrating with his friends and other winners and artists at the after party, but something keeps bugging him.

Just hours earlier he ran into you again and he hasn’t been able to get you out of his mind since then. It’s no surprise you were at the award show, even though you’re not a singer he could have expected to run into you at one of the most important nights of the year. Yet, he was still surprised to see you walk down the red carpet, but it might have been because you always have that effect on him no matter what.

If someone asked Harry who his celebrity crush was he would say you with no hesitation or remorse. He’s been enamored with you since the first time he met you at some other after party a few years ago. The two of you were introduced by a mutual friend and he stuck to your side for as long as possible, drinking up every word, every laughter and every look you gifted him with. He thought you were way out of his league, he still does, but that doesn’t stop him from yearning after you like a lovesick puppy every time your paths cross. Harry can’t tell how many times he tried to flirt with you before, but his flirty comments were met with soft rejection every time, you never seemed to be returning the gentle feelings and though it was devastating, he knew he could do nothing.

He could at least call you his friend, more or less. He definitely has a tither connection with you than with most people in this room, there’s a bigger circle of friends you both share so you end up meeting every few months without planning it and there are periods when you’re even texting.

He hasn’t talked to you for a while now, so seeing you brought his feelings back he’s been harboring for so long.

Now as he’s sipping on his drink he can’t help but keep looking around, trying to spot you in the crowd to no avail for now. He pulls out his phone and opens the message thread with you, rereading the last few texts he exchanged with you a while back. His thumb hovers over the screen, fighting the urge to hit you up with a message when an elbow meets his side. Looking up he sees Mitch beside him.

“Your crush is here,” he informs Harry with a knowing smirk, nodding towards the bar.

He follows his friend’s gaze and spots you only seconds later. You’ve changed out of your burgundy gown he saw you wearing earlier, sporting a chic pant suit this time, but you’re just as breathtaking as ever.

Mitch just chuckles when Harry gets up without a word and heads over to you. Pushing between guests he ignores everyone who might try to strike a conversation up with him until he finally reaches you.

“Y/N, hi!” he smiles at you warmly. You turn to face him with a cocktail in your hands, a wide smile stretching across your face.

“Harry! What a nice surprise!” you chuckle. “Congrats on your wins!” You don’t hesitate to put an arm around his neck and pull him into a hug that he returns gladly.

“Thank you.”

“Though it was no surprise you won, the album is amazing.”

“You listened to it?”

“Of course,” you chuckle. “I wouldn’t have missed it.”

“Do you have a favorite?” he asks with a cheeky smile.

“Hmm, probably… Satellite.”

“Great choice.”

The conversation keeps flowing and suddenly it feels like it’s just the two of you even though it’s a crowded party that’s happening around you. Harry realizes that no matter how much time passes between each time he sees you, he will always catch himself falling for you over and over again. He tries to flirt with you this time as well and this is the first time he can feel like his rizz is not going straight over your head.

“Y/N, I need you to be very honest with me,” he starts, when you both had a few drinks. Neither of you is drunk, but definitely tipsy.

“About what?” you chuckle.

“Do I have a chance with you? For real, I’m not playing here,” he smirks, placing one hand to his chest, while holding up the other one, his half empty glass rising into the air.

You sigh deeply, looking away from him as you busy yourself with your own drink.

“Ah, it hurts!” he acts as if he was shot in the chest. “Am I that ugly and boring?”

“Of course, you’re not!” you roll your eyes.

“Okay, do you like me?”

“I do,” you admit, avoiding to look him in the eyes.

“Alright, then let’s take this conversation over to my place.”

“I can’t,” you shake your head.

“We can go to yours as well, I’m fine with that too,” Harry half jokes, but he notices that you’re not laughing. “Y/N, what is it then?”

“I need to get some air.” Jumping to your feet you leave your drink behind and head out to the back of the place that’s the smoking area, hoping to be alone for a bit, but Harry rushes after you, determined to get answers this time.

He finds you in a dark corner, your arms wrapped around yourself as you stare out into the void.

“Y/N, I’m sorry if I went too far, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s… fine.”

“I just… fuck, I really like you. A lot. I can’t stop thinking about you and… I couldn’t just not shoot my shot.”

“You’ve been shooting your shot for a long time.” He finally sees a tiny smile on your lips.

“So you did notice my attempts?” he grins. “Just chose to ignore them, I guess?”

“Harry, I can’t.”

“Can’t ignore them anymore?”

“No. I can’t date you.”

“Can’t as in…?”

Sighing, your head falls back, against the wall as you close your eyes for a few seconds before opening them and finally looking at him.

“I don’t date.”

“Why?”

“Because of Arian.”

The picture is finally crystal clear in Harry’s head. You’re depriving yourself from dating because of your son.

It’s no news to Harry that you’re a mother, he has even met your five year-old son, but he never thought of him as the reason why you keep rejecting him. You keep your private life pretty hush hush, especially since you split from your ex, Arian’s father three years ago. No one knows why you called it quits and there’s actually no photo of the little boy online either, that’s how dedicated you are to protect him from the public. Harry completely understands it, but he doesn’t see why you can’t date because of Arian.

“The little guy doesn’t want to share you with anyone else?” he tries to joke.

“I’m a single mother who is also an actress. My life is complicated enough without dates and boyfriends.”

“Woah, we’re only talking about one boyfriend,” Harry puts his hands to his chest. You crack a smile, but it’s not as genuine as he would want it to be.

“It’s just not the right time for me to start dating again. I’m sorry.”

“I’m a little hurt you’re not even giving me a chance.”

“I’m sure dating a single mother is not exactly your dream either.”

“Y/N, I haven’t even thought about it until you brought it up. Arian is a cool little guy and I have no problem with you being a mother.”

“You will at one point, trust me,” you scoff and Harry tries not to take it personal. You’re just trying to protect yourself and your son, it’s not against him.

“What if I prove that it’s fine? That I’m not just some random guy who will come and go?”

Staring back at him you chew on his words as you tilt your head to the side.

“We’ll see.”

At first the peace and quiet takes over your waking mind. You feel a gentle breeze from the window you left open for the night and you stretch long underneath the silky covers when it finally dawns on you.

It’s peaceful. And quiet. You haven’t had a morning like this in about… well, five years. Arian loves to wake you up whenever you’re home, jumping on the mattress, or just cuddling to you, either way, he never misses a chance to spend a morning with you.

So where is he now?

Slight panic rushes through your veins as you quickly wrap yourself in your silky robe and head out to find your baby. All the worst case scenarios flash through your mind, but they dissolve the moment you reach the stairs and hear his laughter coming from the kitchen. With careful steps you approach the source of his voice that’s mixed with another one, a more mature male voice that you don’t recognize at first but when you round the corner and see what’s happening in your kitchen, recognition washes over you.

Harry Styles is making pancakes in your kitchen with your son. And they are making a big mess, but Arian seems to be enjoying it. Music is playing in the background and there’s a ginormous bouquet of flowers on the kitchen island. Your heart flutters in your chest as you walk closer.

“Mommy!” Arian notices you and climbing off his stool he runs over to you and you gladly pick him up into your arms.

“Hey baby, what’s… what’s happening here?”

“Harry is making us pancakes!” He throws his hands up into the air in excitement as you walk over to the kitchen island and sit him down on top of it.

“Good morning, Y/N,” he smiles at you so charmingly, it’s hard to focus on the fact that he is in your house on a Saturday morning.

“Hi, what do you… Um, what are you doing here?”

“Mommy, I told you, he is making us pancakes!” Arian giggles.

“I know, baby. Hey, you’re still in your pajamas, why don’t you go up and change?” You help him off the counter and gently push him towards the stairs. He runs off singing to himself.

“Before you throw me out,” Harry starts, holding the spatula up, “You told me to prove it.”

“Prove what?”

“That it’s fine that you’re a mom. So, this is our first date, in your house, with your son, so you don’t have to worry about him or get a babysitter.”

“How did you even get into my house?” you chuckle in disbelief. You’re definitely touched by the gesture, you don’t like to spend time away from Arian when you’re not working.

Grinning, he starts flipping the pancakes in the pan.

“Well, I might or might not have contacted your agent who hooked me up with your housekeeper who let me in this morning.”

“Wow, my own staff betrayed me,” you chuckle.

“I wouldn’t say betrayed. They both were happy to help me, because they want what’s best for you.”

“And that would be you?” you ask, arching an eyebrow at his cockiness. He shrugs, but his smirk tells it all.

“Look,” he sighs, turning the stove off. “I really did mean it. I don’t care that you’re a mom. It’s all good, it’s part of you. I don’t want to just come and go in your and Arian’s life. Just give me a chance to prove that it could work.”

He must have some kind of magic power over you, because he really just waltzed in here, made some pancakes and convinced you to change your mind.

“Arian will always come first for me, Harry.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything else,” he nods.

“That means that even in my limited free time, you’ll most likely have to share me with him. I’m not the type to let nannies and babysitters raise my child.”

“And I love that about you. Arian is lucky to have you as his mother.”

Staring back at him you want to say no, but you simply can’t. It’s impossible.

“Okay,” is all you say.

“Okay as in… You’ll give me a chance?”

“Yes, but don’t fuck it up,” you chuckle as Harry walks closer and his hands find your waist, pulling you closer. It’s the first time he is physically this close to you, but it feels like he’s been doing it since forever, like you belong in his arms.

“Never,” he smirks and as he leans closer you hear a pair of tiny feet running down the stairs, so you step back just in time for Arian’s return.

“Give me the pancakes!” he giggles, climbing up to a stool and you smile at Harry.

“See, he is already cockblocking you,” you whisper to him chuckling.

“Touché,” he sighs with a smirk. “But he is cute, so it’s alright.” Shaking it all off he turns to Arian as he places the pancakes on a plate. “So, what do you want on top?”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

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finelinevogue · 1 year

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tears of love

summary - a whole bunch of tears and a whole bunch of love for the album of the year grammy winner

warnings: swearing, tears, shyness?!, slight media hate mention

word count: +3.6k

pairing: new-boyfriend!harry x reader

The night before the Grammys, Harry had never been more stressed.

He had tried everything to get himself to sleep, but no amount of lavender spray or chamomile tea could get his eyes to close.

He knew he needed a good night's sleep if he wanted to survive the next day, but not even a soothing bubble bath helped him settle down. So he resorted to the one person he knew would help him fall asleep, but he had been too shy to contact at first.

His phone rang as he waited for you to pick up, his bitten nails a clear sign that he was stressed with both not being able to sleep and calling you.

“Hi lovie. I’m not keeping you from anything am I?” He asked, not wanting to ruin your nighttime routine.

“No, no. Not at all. Wouldn’t even matter if you were anyways.”

Harry smiled and laid back on his bed, running a hand over his forehead and back through his hair. He pictured you in a similar position, laying in your own bed across the city. He wished you could be laying beside him instead, but your relationship was only recently new and it was too soon to be sleeping over.

There had been too many people coming and going in Harry’s life that it took him a little longer than most people to become comfortable, and safe, around the people he was dating. He was beginning to think you may be the exception though. There weren't many nights he wasn’t thinking of having you next to him always. He craved the intimacy of falling asleep with you and then waking up in the morning with you still wrapped around him.

For now, he would have to deal with the fact you were across town and would see you in a matter of hours to get ready for the Grammys.

“Thank you.” Harry said quietly, more for himself than you.

“I forgot to tell you earlier, but my mum says have fun tomorrow.” You said.

“I wish she could be there with us all. I wish my own mum could be there, y’know?” Harry sadly chuckled, wishing more than anything he could spend more time with his loved ones and ones who love him.

“I have no doubt she has subscribed to Paramount plus especially to watch the Grammys, lovie.” That much you knew. Harry chuckled and nodded because he knew you were right. His mum was his biggest supporter, as any mum should be, and he was lucky to have a mum like her.

“I know.”

“She’s so proud of you, H.” You made sure he was reminded.

“I’m more proud of her.”

“Give yourself a little credit. You’ve not always had it easy either. The way the media harrasses you, I would have given up years ago.”

“I wouldn’t have let you give up, just like you don’t let me.”

“You didn’t know me way back when, H.” You chuckled over the phone and Harry’s heart beamed like sunshine at the sound. There was no better sound for him now. Not even awards calling his name.

“I wish I did. I wish I could have met you sooner.” He replied honestly, moving one hand onto his chest and over his heart where it stopped. If he pressed hard enough he could feel you there, where his heart was beating a little extra rapidly for you. No one had ever made him or his heart feel the way you do and his biggest regret in life was not having found you and that feeling years ago. Now you existed in his life, it made all the other moments seem insignificant to the ones you were now creating together.

“Don’t think about it like we’ve wasted time, lovie. Think about it like we needed to break and fix our own hearts, to become stronger, before we could find the strength to begin again with each other. I think my heart is stronger for you than anyone else because of all the heartbreak it took to find you.”

Late night conversations with you were not a rarity, but it wasn’t common for you both to be so ‘heart-on-sleeve’ with each other. You were only 3 months into your relationship, having spoken for a couple months before that too, but both of you clearly felt something more than just a simple attraction for one another. Harry didn’t want to call it love, because he knew the consequences of falling in love too quickly, but he was scared that’s just what his feeling for you was. Little did he know you felt exactly the same way.

“I…” Harry had to stop himself short, “I think my heart is stronger for you too.”

Harry looked up at his white ceiling, running a hand over his stubble beard that he would have to shave in the morning. Then he looked over to the other side of the bed. The neat side of the bed, where the sheet was still tucked into the mattress. He ran his hand over the expanse of the vacant bed and swallowed back a tearful lump at the back of this throat.

“I miss you.” Harry said softly.

What he really meant to say was; I need you here. I love you.

You were quiet for a moment, making Harry think he said the wrong thing, but it was only because you were trying not to cry. Your heart hurt over the thought of it taking so much courage for Harry to be so open with his words. His feelings had often been so vulnerable to the crazed media and ex-partners, but with you he had never felt so safe. His feelings had never felt more protected and accepted. You knew what his words really meant and he could tell what you meant when you whispered the words back too. “I miss you too.”

I love you too.

•••••••••

Harry had gotten a good seven hours of sleep.

You had gotten a few more, since Harry had stayed on the phone to tell you stories of his life to lull you to sleep. Something about knowing you were peacefully sleeping made Harry fall asleep so easily. He knew you would be able to help, even if you didn’t realise it.

It was now only an hour before Harry had to head off to the Grammy red carpet venue. It was so hectic in his house, where he was hosting pre-drinks and the getting ready antics. Harry Lambert was busy ironing all of Harry’s outfits for the 15th time and Anthony would not stop taking photos. Jeff was busy social networking with Harry’s friends and family, whilst Harry was busy checking his phone for text messages off you.

Y/N: I’m here xx

Harry smiled, leaving his phone on top of his kitchen counter before jogging to his front door in excitement. He was dressed in a rainbow patterned jumpsuit and white boots, his hair styled so perfectly. He looked so fun and young, representing the younger generation of artists this evening.

He opened his front door and smiled so brightly when he saw you standing at the front door looking so pretty. Your hands were cradling a box of cupcakes, a bunch of flowers and a heart-shaped balloon. All of the gifts were lovely, but nothing could put a bigger smile on his face than you.

“Baby…” He pouted when he saw you, cupping his hands over his cheeks as his mouth gaped in shock.

“Surprise! Happy Grammy day!” You giggled excitedly, laughing at his initial shock and love-heart eyes on you.

“You didn’t have to do any of this.” He put his hands over his heart, itching to just have you in his arms now.

He moved forward to take the cakes and flowers off of you, placing his other hand on your waist to tug you closer to him. He softly laughed as he desperately pulled you closer and titled his head down to kiss you. He didn’t wait a single second to kiss you senseless, giving you more than just a sweet peck. Your hand not holding the balloon snaked up to around his neck and held him close, making his lips crush over yours again and again.

He tasted like a winner already with your cherry soaked lips on his.

You pulled away flustered, cheeks blushing and lips wanting so much more. You licked your lips to conceal Harry’s taste with you and Harry’s beady eyes watched every movement like he would be tested on it later.

“Y’look amazing.” Harry spoke quietly, just wanting his words to be heard by your ears.

“Thank you.” You blushed, not knowing how else to respond. “Did you forget a t-shirt?” You joked, snaking your hand down from around his neck and over his chest. His skin reacted by giving him a chill of goosebumps and a sense of pride rushed over you for being able to make him react in such a way.

“Just thought I’d get my tits out for you, baby.” He joked in return.

“And your millions of fans.” You patted his chest right over his heart he had been touching before.

“No. Just for you.” Harry reiterated, needing you to understand, like most things, he did this for you. He knew how much you loved it when he embraced his own masculinity and showcased who he truly was with his clothing, so when it came to choosing outfits for events he always kept you in mind and what you thought might be a good option. It seemed he had chosen well with the way your eyes had dilated upon taking him all in.

Harry couldn’t help but lean in to kiss you one more time, turning into two, three and four. You smiled into the end two, making it harder for Harry to kiss your soft lips but he made do anyway. He couldn’t get enough of you, not even caring that he now had lipstick on and around his own lips.

“Are you coming in?” Harry asked, always making sure you were comfortable with everything before making you actually do it.

“I need the loo, so yes please.” You nodded. Harry took your spare hand in his and he walked you through the front door, shutting it with his foot behind him.

He could tell you were nervous by the slight tremor in the hand he was holding, but he gave you a soft squeeze to let you know you were alright. He realised it was daunting to be in a room with a group of people you barely knew, apart from Harry Lambert and Jeff, so he made sure to stick close by.

All Harry ever talked about to his friends was his undying adoration for you, but the majority of them had yet to meet you because Harry enjoyed keeping you just his for as long as possible. Your relationship wasn’t public, but even if it was your social media were private so the fans wouldn’t get a hold of anything anyways. Harry’s friends knew he had someone romantic in his life, because his smile hadn’t been so bright in years.

They were all excited to meet the person responsible for the rebirth of Harry’s happiness.

“Y/N!” Harry Lambert shouted across the room, putting down his iron and walking over to you with open arms. You would’ve done the same, but Harry kept a grounding hold on your hand, which you were very thankful for, and so you let Harry Lambert reach you before hugging him the best you could.

“Hi!” You laughed as Harry Lambert hugged you.

“Oh you look incredible, darling!” He gasped as your outfit, similar to the way your Harry had.

“Thank you.” You, once again, blushed.

“Harry is very lucky.”

“I know.” Your Harry spoke up, pulling you back into his side with a tug of your hand. You smiled as he kissed the top of your head, feeling the butterflies all over. Your nerves were already calming just by having him close by like this.

“I need pictures of you two later, okay?” Harry Lambert warned you, knowing that you would both try and get out of it.

Once he had walked away, Harry walked you into the kitchen some more and dumped the cakes and flowers on the obscenely large kitchen counter. A chorus of hellos sounded as you both walked in the room and made yourselves present.

Harry took his time introducing you to every person, getting you to hug them as you did so. Everyone was so kind and lovely, complimenting you on your beauty and your outfit and your ability to bring out the best in Harry. You began to feel a little tearful towards the end of greeting people and after you were done you told Harry you were going to the toilet.

He didn’t think twice about it, until you still hadn’t come back after ten minutes. Yes, women stereotypically take longer than men in the toilet but ten minutes was quite long for you. So he went in search of you, seeing as you had to leave in five minutes anyways.

He went straight upstairs to his bedroom, knowing you would’ve chosen his bathroom rather than the downstairs one out of familiarity. He knocked on the door softly before opening it slowly. When he made it inside, he softly shut the door behind him to notice you weren’t in the bedroom. He rounded the corner to the bathroom and that’s when he saw you standing at the bathroom mirror with a tissue, drying away the tears that had clearly been running stray.

“Baby… What happened?” Harry cooed, walking in the room and urging you to face him by cupping your cheeks delicately.

You looked to the ceiling, trying to keep the next round of tears at bay, before shrugging your shoulders at Harry with a sad chuckle. “I don’t know what came over me! Just feeling a lot of emotions right now. Proud of you but then just feeling so loved and accepted by your friends.. It’s.. I.. Just, it’s a lot!” You laughed at how silly it sounded now you were trying to explain how you felt.

“Oh you emotional softie. You’re going to be a right water fountain today, aren’t you?” He rhetorically asked, but you nodded with a laugh regardless.

“I can’t control it!” You exclaimed, your eyes watering over again. Harry chuckled at you, eyes crinkling and dimples showing from smiling so hard. “I’m not even sad. If anything I’m too happy!”

“Well that’s a good thing, hmm?”

“Yes, it is. Sorry!” You apologised for crying, feeling silly. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Cry all you want, baby. It’s your day as much as it is mine. Any wins are yours to celebrate too.”

“Oh fuck off, you’re making me cry again…” You whined and Harry laughed along with your tears, before helping you reset your makeup in time to leave.

•••••••••

You were backstage at the Grammys, in a room large enough to house all of Harry’s friends and family he had brought with him.

Since you two weren’t publicly official, you decided it best if you stayed in the back room whilst Jeff, Kid and Tyler sat at the table with Harry.

You had cried so much already from Harry winning best pop vocal album and his performance was just absolutely perfect. Someone had even had to bring another box of tissues for you, since you’d finished the first one you had been given.

Anthony Pham had been taking photos of all the backstage fun and reactions, since Harry had asked to be kept updated on everything. Especially all of your reactions and enthusiasm. You had recorded yourself dancing and singing to his performance, ready to show him later.

“Oh my god, it’s the album of the year category.” Someone screamed and you pulled yourself away from the conversation you were having with Sarah to watch the screen.

You were already sitting on the sofa, but the next few moments of your life would be grateful for that.

The fans of the artists lined up on the stage, ready to give their respective artists the Grammy. Harry’s fan was an older woman and you aspired to be her when you were older. You couldn’t wait for the day you were 70 years old and still attending a Harry Styles concert with a feather boa. The woman was so cute and she reminded you of your grandma. Harry loved interacting with old people, so you were sure he would find her and hug her no matter the outcome of the award.

Trevor Noah stood centre stage and held the card in his hand. Everyone was on the edge of their seats waiting to hear the reveal for the biggest and most prestigious category the Grammys offered.

“And the Grammy for album of the year goes to…” Trevor said.

He opened the envelope and paused for dramatic effect.

You sat on the edge of the sofa, your leg bouncing anxiously. You clasped your hands together and stared at the screen so you didn’t miss a single moment.

You were confused when Trevor didn’t announce the winner and instead moved over the fan of Harry. People in the room around you started to gasp lightly, catching on to what might be. Then the woman shakily held onto Trevor as she said the name.

“H-Harry Styles.” She said before screaming in congratulations.

Your head fell into your hands as you sobbed. You had never cried so hard before, but this was an emotion worthy moment. Your sobs were heavy and loud, but they were silenced by the roar of cheers and laughter in the room. You were too buried in your hands to see, but everyone was up and screaming for Harry, running around the room. Sarah and Mitch had collapsed on one another in happiness.

Someone came and hugged you from where you were hunched over. “He did it, Y/N, he did it!” They screamed excitedly and you couldn’t help but just cry and cry. You had never felt pride like this.

Your emotions were so strong for someone who you’d only gotten to know for a mere five months. You were overwhelmed by how you felt for Harry in that moment, feeling nothing but… love.

Taking your face out of your hands you sat up and watched him with blurry eyes on the screen with his award. He himself looked really tearful and shaky with adrenaline. You just couldn’t put into words how you felt in that moment.

The next five minutes were a complete blur. From Harry accepting the award from the woman, to Harry’s speech with Tyler and Kid. After they walked offstage you started crying all over again the minute someone said; “Harry is a three time Grammy winner!”

You had no idea what you were going to say to him when you saw him, even if you saw him again tonight. No doubt he would be swept up in interviews, photos and parties. No matter, because you would have the rest of forever to express how proud you were of him.

Anthony was busy snapping photos and you reminded yourself to have a look at them later, when you could actually see past your blurry eyes.

As you started blowing your nose on a new tissue the uproar in the room started again and you shot your head around to see what was going on, only to see your boyfriend walk into the room with his Grammy held high. He cheered as his eyes watered, people patting him and ruffling his hair. Sarah gave him a tight hug and he kept on thanking her, no doubt because she had much of a part in the album as Harry did.

You kept back, wanting Harry to get treated with the love from his closest friends and family first. You kept crying, picking out new tissues from the box every twenty seconds from how quickly you were using them. You definitely knew you looked a state, shoulders shaking from crying and clapping your hands in cheer.

Harry’s eyes kept on you as he hugged the last few people, not turning his head away for one moment. You shook your head as you warned him not to come close, because he would only make the crying worse. You held out your hand to keep him at bay, walking backwards as he walked forwards. Harry was quicker than you, though, and used the arm not holding his Grammy to pick you up at the waist and give you a twirl. He spun you around, before safely landing you back down.

You laughed out a sob when you finally got to look up at him close. A strand of his hair had fallen down over his forehead, but you made no effort to move it back into place.

Cupping his cheeks with your shaky hands you licked your lips to wipe away the salty tears. His own tears were now silently falling, his eyes intensely focusing on you. His thumb was stroking soothing lines into your back and all you could think about was how he made you feel.

“Harry… I..” You started, hiccuping in between words.

Harry nodded encouragingly, “It’s okay. You can say it.” His eyebrows frowned as he anticipated what you’d say next.

“I.. I love you.” You said with a smile.

Harry smiled nodding. He knew that’s what you wanted to say, because luckily he felt exactly the same way about you.

“I fucking love you, Y/N L/N.” And his lips were on yours for the rest of the night. And the rest of forever.

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avatar-anna · 11 months

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Diamonds

pausing our regularly scheduled program with a luke hemmings blurb bc i love him and his solo music and i'm sad i couldn't go to any of his shows 😔 i'll get back to harry soon, but i'll take inspo wherever i can rn. enjoy!

"The next one we're gonna play for you is one of the most vulnerable songs I've ever written," Luke said, mouth pressed up against the microphone. The shimmer you helped spread over the lids of his eyes practically glowed under the blue lights that lit the stage. You thought he looked ethereal, the very embodiment of the music he was performing tonight.

"When I was putting together the final tracklist for this album," Luke continued, "I was hesitant to add this song because I was afraid that it was too vulnerable, but I was convinced that it was worth sharing, that the emotions and experiences behind this song would reach those who needed to hear it the most.

"The person who convinced me, and played a crucial part of making this record, is here tonight, and to them, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't and making me brave enough to truly face my demons. You pulled me out of the deep end when it felt like I was drowning, and I would be a completely different person than I am today without you. I love you. My heart and soul is yours to keep."

Cheers were heard throughout the venue as the opening chords began. As Luke started to sing, you were thankful that you decided to watch the concert from backstage, unable to keep tears from welling in your eyes.

"Cut like diamonds and sink like stones, starve myself 'til I'm skin and bone, I'm so much older than I ever thought I would be."

He said that often. My heart and soul is yours to keep. Yours to keep safe, was what he meant. It had taken him a long time to open up to you and trust your ability to be a good partner, so him saying that his heart was yours was huge. He trusted you that much not to break his heart, to never let him sink back into old habits and bitter thoughts. That level of trust meant everything to you.

In his little speech, Luke thanked you for being the one to convince him to release the song, which was true in a way. He'd been conflicted about the song at first, not ready to share such a dark period of his life so publicly. The song had originally been just a way to express himself, to put everything he'd been through on paper without ever letting it see the light of day.

Luke had shared what the song was about, had opened up to you just what had made him feel that way in the past—toxic relationships, poor decisions that led to even worse habits, hurting the people closest to him, all of his mistakes. He didn't hide any of it from you, and you took all of those misgivings, all of those past mistakes, and showed him that you loved him anyway.

"How far is far? Are we too deep in? How dark is dark? I need to see it."

It wasn't easy at first. When you met, Luke wasn't in a place where he could give himself to anyone emotionally. He believed that he was too damaged to be loved the way he deserved and that he was better off being alone and unhurt than trying to fall in love again and risk being completely ruined by someone he thought he could trust. He had been more closed off than anyone you'd ever met, but all of it just made you want to show him what love without conditions looked like. And he couldn't fathom why. Luke was never rude to you about it. He never snapped at you or pushed you away or treated you badly to make a point, he just truly believed that he wasn't worth your time.

*.*

You were at his house, hanging out as friends. Only this time you surprised him by bringing him flowers.

Luke had been completely dumbfounded, unsure of your intentions. You told him it was just to brighten up his home a little, and because you liked doing nice things for the people you cared about. He didn't question you much further, but the rest of the time you were together, you caught him staring at the bouquet that stood in the vase you'd placed them in. His gaze had been wary and apprehensive each time, and you finally told him the truth.

"I want to take you on a date," you said simply.

Luke seemed surprised, which led to a conversation that was perhaps a step below an argument, but only because you calmly listened to Luke and evaded his tactics to push you away with ease.

"I—I don't deserve you," he finally said, but his voice was heavy with emotion, like he desperately didn't want it to be true.

"Who decides what we do and don't deserve, Luke?" you said to him, resting your hand over his and rubbing your thumb over his knuckles gently. To your surprise, he didn't pull away.

"I'm not good enough for you," he amended.

With a close-lipped smile, you leaned over from your spot on his couch and placed your thumb between his brows, smoothing the furrow there. "I think you think you're a worse person than you are."

You kissed his brow, your touch just enough for him to feel your lips brush his skin. When you pulled back, you tapped his nose with your knuckle. "I won't push you, and I won't try to fix you," you said, because the truth was, you didn't believe he needed fixing. But you knew you weren't going to be able to convince him of that. Not now, anyway. "But I will tell you this: you are a remarkable person, and when you're ready, I'd love to love you one day."

*.*

"I'm on my way out, losing the dream. I feel it crash down, down on me. Caught in the madness, holding on me. Is this the way it will always be?"

It took some time, but Luke eventually believed what you did from the day you met him. You were there to see him through the thick of it, holding his hand when he needed you to and giving him space when he asked. He'd gone off to write for a little while, and when he came back, you could practically see the weight lift from his shoulders. It was as if he'd left his biggest demons at the cabin he'd been staying in.

And now he was at his own solo concert performing the songs that held the deepest secrets of his heart. Luke sang each word with passion and pride, the kind that came from knowing that he'd overcome the darkness that had held him for so long. He wasn't drowning anymore, but he sang his songs so that his fans could see that it was possible to be in a dark place and come out of it.

The song faded to its end, and Luke bowed before the crowd as they cheered. He held his hands together in front of his face, the appreciation written in his features abundantly clear. You watched him survey the crowd with so much pride you thought you were going to burst, but you ended up just shedding a couple more tears instead.

While fans were still cheering and his band was playing chords that would lead into the next song, Luke jogged to the side of the stage where you were standing. You hadn't expected him to come over to you, but when you saw his face, you knew what he needed.

Your arms opened for him just in time as he wrapped himself around you. He held onto you tight, his face buried in your hair as he lifted you off the ground. You held on just as fiercely, hoping it would sufficiently express just how much you loved him.

Time stopped as Luke held you in his arms. He had a whole crowd waiting for him to sing the next song, but neither of you seemed worried about getting him back onstage. When he finally set you back down, you kissed his cheek a couple times before kissing him properly, your hands on either side of his face.

"Okay, okay, no more of that," you said, when he kept trying to follow your lips as you pulled away from him, wanting just one more kiss. "There'll be plenty of time for that later. Now go. Everyone's waiting for you."

Luke began to turn like he was going to do just as you said, but before he walked away, he spun on his heel and caught you in one last kiss. Satisfied by your tinged cheeks, he grinned and kissed your cheek. "Mean the world to me, darlin.'"

Hearing him say that made you melt every single time, and he knew that. Shoving his shoulder playfully toward the stage, you said, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Now go be a rockstar, will you? You're keeping everyone waiting. Myself included."

Luke finally turned around for real and did just that.

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings fic #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings oneshot #luke hemmings one shot #luke hemmings angst

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atruththatyoudeny · 10 months

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Happy 28th! Here are the fics I read and loved this month. As always all my love goes out to the fantastic authors, not only in this fic rec but all over the fandom. Without you my days would look much bleaker ♥

I've Got Demons, You've Got Scars - WIP | mission2feelike | [94k] Harry’s life has been ruined twice. Once, the first time his alpha raised his fist four years ago, and then again today when his job discovered that he is an omega in a world where omegas, especially bonded omegas, have no rights. Now, he’s stuck trying to figure out how he’s going to take care of his four-year-old daughter, Mia. Just when it’s looking completely hopeless, a possible job arises. Someone is looking for an omega to help an alpha in need. The only problem is that the alpha has been diagnosed with Alpha Rage, a crippling disease that causes an alpha to become feral, making them succumb to their most instinctual, primal versions of themselves. A story of an omega that’s been broken, an alpha that can’t trust himself, and their unlikely relationship. Lovingly known as 'The Feral Louis Fic'.

everything to lose | stylinsoncity | [92k] harry is a global popstar who's convinced the world he has it all -- a happy marriage to a devoted alpha, two beautiful children, two grammy awards, three platinum albums, and a budding film career. but some aspects of his image aren't as true as they seem. like the fact he's been separated for over a year, uses meaningless flings to cope and occasionally forgets responsibilities or commitments to his family. he and louis once commanded stages together. they tackled any challenges to their future. and no matter how hard things got, they always returned to one another. harry would always return to louis. until one day, he finds he can't.

The Pros and Cons of Breathing | HelloLovers13 | [82k] Omega Harry has always known he'd be married off someday, so when he's betrothed to Prince Louis, he's anxious about having to leave his life behind, but hopeful for a happy marriage. The hope doesn't last long, with his husband avoiding him at all costs and Harry being left to fend for himself. Can he find happiness even in a broken marriage?

Some Records Turnin’ | crimsontheory | [49k] “Harry, dear,” Niall said cheerily, his arms ladened down with more boxes they’d received from their shipment earlier that day. “I promise this isn’t a prank, but Louis Tomlinson is sitting in our office.” “I know,” Harry replied, using his hip to close the drawer of the cash register. “I let him back there.” “Wait,” Niall said as he sat the boxes in his arms down on the counter and then held up his hands with his palms facing out towards Harry. “You mean to tell me that this man who you have a massive crush on is in our store right now and you’re just letting him sit back there by himself and not trying to shoot your shot?” Or, Harry is a soft alpha who owns a record store and Louis is a closeted singer omega masquerading as an alpha who randomly stumbles into Harry’s store.

taken by lust’s strange inhumanity | CuckooTrooke | [20k] One of the reasons Harry said 'yes' in the first place was because he believed Louis Tomlinson, the campus’ most notorious “bad boy”, would be here. And much to Harry's triumph and dismay, Louis is here but the last time Harry got a glimpse of him, he had a pretty omega wrapped around him, clinging onto the flaps of his leather jacket while nosing his scent glands. Maybe that’s just the story of Harry's life; always infatuated with the wrong people. OR The one with all the jealous snarling, awkward first kisses and one unforgettable night.

Bitter Ends Turn Sweet | allwaswell16 | [30k] It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore. Or a songfic inspired by the song Chicago

show me your love (grow up and see) | abaddxns | [22k] At only thirty two years of age, Louis Tomlinson has made quite the life for himself—he has his dream job, a place all his own, a nice car, and all the people closest to him are seeing success of their own. The only big thing he's missing now is having the right partner and starting a family with them, although he figures he has plenty of time for that yet. That is, until his best mate, Harry, comes to him with a proposition. Or: what happens when you agree to become your best friend's baby daddy.

Chicago | likelarry | [15k] Harry Styles is one of the fashion industry's best models and Louis Tomlinson is a world renowned rockstar. In the midst of Louis' world tour, Harry finds out he's pregnant.

Tupelo Honey | superglass | [54k] “What,” Louis starts, always hating how silence like this drives him crazy, “what exactly are you gaining from all this? All this, following a mediocre band around. Why do you do that?” Harry giggles around her cigarette, looking out at the alley. When she smiles, her teeth peek out behind her red lips, giving him the chills— right down to his core. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen a smile so pretty. So enthralling he can’t take his eyes off of it. “I’ve got nothing better to do, Louis.” or Louis is a roadie for a rock band, and Harry is their groupie. 1970s au.

Yours To Lose | loulicate | [25k] “I think I know the person that matches your descriptions of your dream alpha.” “Who? And oh not my dream alpha, god you’re making me sound like a teenage school girl. I’m a mum, H.” They laugh as they watch kids gather in front of the verandah, getting ready to go back to the orphanage. “Well, you’re gonna have to find out.” Harry winks before standing up to start cleaning their spot. - Or Louis always gets distracted with his mummy duty and he eventually catches Harry's attention.

and when it rains, you're shining down for me | martisgotaproblem | [37k] “This is Harry, he’ll be your patient,” Liam gestured politely. Harry froze when Louis’ eyes met his own once more. He felt himself getting lost in those eyes, so much so that he didn’t notice Niall and Liam leaving the room quietly but the sound of the door shutting behind them brought him out of the trance. “Hello, I’m Louis,” the omega said, extending his hand for Harry to shake. The alpha could still sense some nervousness in his stance but decided to ignore it. “‘’m Harry.” Or the one where Harry is a grumpy boxer who gets injured and Louis is the lovely physiotherapist hired to help him, but getting pregnant wasn’t exactly in his recovery plan.

In the middle of the night when the wolves come out | Marchessa | [30k] I. It's always darkest before the dawn The full moon was hiding behind dark clouds on that night, filling the air with something sinister. Harry lived that evening like an out of body experience, as if it hadn't happened to him. Because something horrifying like that can happen only to fictional characters and people from old-wives tales, not to actual breathing people. Or so he thought. Everything that happened after nightfall seemed surreal, and he couldn't put his finger on where it went off the track. Probably sometime during the train ride back to Holmes Chapel after a long, exhausting week of university classes. Or the one where Louis saves Harry's life by biting him, but the younger man has to pay the price for it. II. On such breathless nights as these “Do you wish to become my mate, the pack omega?” “I do.” Louis kneeled down in front of him, and took the omega’s hands in his own, holding them over his chest. “Then I will take you as my omega today,” Louis said with a firm voice. “I will keep you as my omega, my fated mate. From now on, you are mine to love. Mine to care for. Mine to pleasure,” he promised, leaning closer to the omega. Harry’s whole body flushed after hearing his alpha’s vow, and tears gathered in his eyes. As a newly presented omega, Harry has a hard time adjusting to his new life. Luckily he has the best alpha anyone could ask for on his side. The Moon had guided him to the most perfect mate in the world, and soon they will bond in the pale moonlight. He just has to survive the long road leading to the mating ritual.

Pray To God This Won't Be A Mess | xogucciblue | [28k] “You know,” Niall muses, voice too loud for the quiet of the afternoon, “this would all be much easier if you had a boyfriend.” Louis blinks one eye open lazily and turns to squint it at Niall. “I mean,” he continues as Louis let his eyes drift closed again, “all any of those twats seem interested in is who you’re screwing this week. Reckon if you had one steady bloke to point to they’d eventually have no choice but to go back to asking you about the music.” It’s not a bad point. Even as fucked up as he is, Louis is able to recognize that Niall is probably right – at the moment, the most interesting thing about Louis is his unattached status and resultant potential for scandal. If he were tied to only one person there’d be no room or reason for questions about his boy of the week or if the rumors that he was sleeping with his stylist’s nephew's older brother’s friend were true. --- When Louis is outed just weeks before his hotly anticipated second album is set to drop, Harry agrees to hold his hand in a few pictures to cool down the media hype. That's all it was supposed to be.

Until the Pearls Get Lost | LadyLondonderry | [25k] London, 1933. Harry Styles, alpha, elusive bachelor and happy third wheel to his coupled friends, receives a visit from one Liam Payne, begging for his help. Liam’s childhood friend Louis is about to become the talk of the city; left at the altar because the mating bond was rejected, Louis will spend the rest of his life in an institution unless Liam can find someone to take him in and care for him as he recovers. Most omegas with failed bonds are never the same again. With rumours swirling around about the reason for the rejected bond, Harry gives in to Liam’s pleas. He hasn’t the slightest idea how that decision will shape the rest of his life.

Where Life Changed Us | ExiledQueenCatalog | [22k] Omega Harry has a rare genetic disorder where he has no sense of smell. This has lots of odd effects such as him not being able to smell his own scent but most brutally, not being able to scent the way his inner omega desires. It also leaves him as a sort of odd-ball to the community, leaving him becoming touch starved as no one wants the omega who can’t scent. Until finally, he meets the right alpha.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #monthly fic recs #monthly reads #my fic rec #larry fics #my reads

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whinlatter · 4 months

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i MUST hear your thoughts on "im your man" by mitski and how it's the ginny/harry/sirius trio anthem in "beasts"...must hear

what have you done asking me about this...... a great and terrible mistake........ the air is thick with sirens...........

basically i'm your man is an absolutely perfect song about feeling unworthy and undeserving of the love someone gives you, and a feeling of great dread that one day the other person will realise it and leave. it is - for this reason - so eye-wateringly ginny-sirius-harry coded i simply cannot bear it. that whole album (the land is inhospitable and so are we) is heaven and there are so many songs on it that have been absolutely dynamite for getting the juices flowing with this fic (the frost and star are my hinny anthems for chapter 12 👀)

so i am taking a short dissertation writing break to offer an entirely unhinged rant about i'm your man complete with some mild beasts spoilers because apparently i care a lot about this inexplicably. thank you so much for humouring me!

you're an angel, i'm a dog or you're a dog and i'm your man you believe me like a god i'll destroy you like i am

the first verse plays with the idea that there are three tiers of being - dog, man, angel/god - that all exist in relation to each other. the narrator sings the song to put themselves down. you're an angel, i'm a dog - meaning, i'm lowly nothing compared to your pure divine greatness. in the next line, a twist and advance on that idea: you're a dog (faithful, honest, loyal, loving easily and with such trust) and i'm your man (the one who is responsible for you, who you look to protect and sustain you, who is unworthy of that kind of adoration). you believe me like a god - you trust and believe in my power and ability to take care of you and guide you. but then: i'll destroy you like i am - the only real godlike power the narrator identifies with is the capacity for destruction and ruin.

ok partly it's... you know....... the dog thing because i am very on-the-nose. (obviously sirius as padfoot, but also the distinctions in the wizarding world between beings as the moral civilised entities vs the beasts, the wild and lawless and violent magical creatures). but it's also this suggestion of hero worship and adoration from one character to another, and the object of that kind of love struggling to feel worthy of it and fearing the power it has given them over the other person. it's such a huge vibe for how i'm thinking about these characters !! i feel like it works both for harry and sirius' relationship as well as harry and ginny's: the love and reverence harry has for sirius, when sirius is filled with so much self-loathing and guilt and awareness of his own failings as a parent figure, and the way harry comes to love ginny and think of her as this pure singular light and symbol of all his hopes for a bright and good future, which (i think!) would be a lot for ginny to take on and live up to and feel deserving of. there's even shades of it in how i imagine ginny feels about sirius in the flashbacks - little ginny looking up to sirius like he's a god, hanging off his every word, sirius backing away from being responsible for this child's admiration and desire for guidance from him.

i'm sorry i'm the one you love no one will ever love me like you again so when you leave me, i should die i deserve it, don't i

i mean this is a pure sirius verse imo also with such harry shades to it ('i deserve it don't i' pure ootp harry angst). but i see some of ginny in this too ('i'm sorry i'm the one you love' - her wish that she could just be such cool and chill and easy and trying to live up to this idea harry sometimes as of her as so strong and stoic and able to deal with things, and then her feelings when all that comes crumbling down....)

i can feel it getting near like flashlights coming down the way one day you'll figure me out i'll meet judgment by the hounds

the feeling of being hunted! sirius and harry as wanted men! ginny getting found out and caught in her secrets and half-lies! 'i'll meet judgement by the hounds' god. god

people always gave me love others were never to blame after all you believe me like a god i'll betray you like a man

i think of this verse as the sirius and ginny verse. here the narrator locates the source of their unworthiness internally, not in being deprived of love by others, but in something fundamentally broken and tainted inside them. sirius as a character can't blame a total absence of love for what he's become - he was loved, he blames no-one but himself for the loathing he feels for himself. ginny, too, could not have been more loved, both before the TMR ordeal, but also thereafter - she comes from a family that adores her, she is widely liked and admired; but still, there's something missing in her sense of self. i do not wish to spoil future chapters but yeah this is bit is a Big Mood as we come closer to understanding ginny's war and what it asked of her

in chapters 10 and 11 of beasts, i started to play with this idea of the traitor, of a person who has made a great and terrible choice to betray the people close to them and in doing so revealed a true self that was there all along but lay dormant. so far in the fic, i've tried to thread in a lil drip-drip-drip of questions about the self, who a person really ever is, and about the choices characters make because of their sense of who they are, especially moral choices, in a war and under a regime that must, ethically, be resisted.

of sirius, harry, and ginny, so far it's sirius who knows most about what it is to be a traitor: someone who spent the bulk of his life assumed to be a turncoat, who is consumed by his hatred of wormtail and the memory of his treachery, who can't even begin to grasp the layers and dimensions to his own brother's betrayal, and who fundamentally still thinks of himself as a traitor to his best mate, believing himself to having 'as good as' killed lily and james. harry is the one who's full of trust, throughout the war:

'“No,” Harry said out loud, and they all looked at him, surprised. The firewhisky seemed to have amplified his voice. “I mean . . . if somebody made a mistake,” Harry went on, “and let something slip, I know they didn’t mean to do it. It’s not their fault,” he repeated, again a little louder than he would usually have spoken. “We’ve got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don’t think anyone in this room would ever sell me to Voldemort."'

“No, I think you’re like James,” said Lupin, “who would have regarded it as the height of dishonour to mistrust his friends.” Harry knew what Lupin was getting at: that his father had been betrayed by his friend, Peter Pettigrew. He felt irrationally angry. He wanted to argue, but Lupin had turned away from him...'

ginny, of course, knows what it is to be betrayed - by her first real friend, by her own brother. but i just think these two final lines, the twist on the first verse, are such a huge huge mood for drawing some of these ideas to the surface as the plot inches (v slowly lol) forwards - the idea of a character who has had every faith put in them by someone who loves and believes in them, who fears that they wll buckle under the weight of it and betray that love and trust in terrible ways. to betray you like a man - for the great moral sin to be something inherent to no other creature or being but man - is just such a powerful cool as shit line that is really gettin me going for writing the next bit of this fic.

wow i didn't even know how much i cared about this song but turns out it's a lot???? troubling for me!

#beasts #sirius black #hinny #mitski the woman that you are #that whole album is fire #i got told off for insisting i don't like my mind was a christmas song and sticking it on on christmas day #like sorry it's MY song of worship?#beasts spoilers

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harry-styles-obsessed · 1 year

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You are enough.

Request: hey, I was wondering whether you could do something along the lines of mental health? I’ve been struggling recently and your stories brought me out of the darkness in some way or another so if possible? Thank you!

A/N: hey anonymous, thank you so much for the request. I understand how difficult mental health is. I’m so glad my stories have been able to do that. I’m sending you all the love and I hope this is okay. Remember you’re not alone. My DM’s are always open. Much love, Amber x

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, pretty dark topics, panic attack, self hate, depression&anxiety- please read at your own discretion.

Mental health was a beast no one could tame. Depression, anxiety and so many more… it was almost torturous. As if the demons within your head created a pact together and decided it would be fun to torment you. It was never ending and to be quite frank it was exhausting. You sometimes felt as if no one understood you. It was so tiring. It felt as if the soothing words that were repeated over and over again became less soothing every time. As if the demons within you were becoming more tolerant to the words, to the comfort, as if they were slowly beginning to drown you. Harry, your boyfriend of 3 years even paid for you to get therapy… out of his own love and own money which you felt terrible for but he assured you it was for the best. The therapy was going well for a while but then it started becoming repetitive… you struggled talking and when you couldn’t talk and felt the pain wrap it’s cold loathsome hands around your throat constricting your breathing you simply couldn’t and wouldn’t talk.

That day was going awfully- first you encountered an ex friend whom you were not on good terms with, next you were caught in a flood of rain absolutely drenched and the cherry on the top was the fact when you walked inside your apartment it was empty. Cold. Sad. No one to wrap their arms around you. No Harry. No nobody. Just you and your confused uncontrollable emotions. You felt like such a waste of a human being.. no… you were a waste of a human being. You were meant to go to your weekly therapy session but you were exhausted, harry was out recording songs for his new album and you were just here wasting your life away. It felt as if everyone was accomplishing something… all except you. You dropped your bag onto the floor slowly moving towards your bedroom, the door hitting against the wall as you sniffled. You tried desperately to not cry. To not be weak but you couldn’t control the anger and resentment you felt… and not because of anyone… no… simply because of yourself. You hated yourself and didn’t know how to control the feelings flooding your blood stream. Your body sank into the bed, wet clothes still clinging to your skin as you curled up in a ball closing your eyes tightly as soft sobs began leaving your lips until the crying turned into little whimpers those whimpers turning silent too as you managed to somehow cry yourself to sleep. Everything was going so well… so damn well… and you just had to go ahead and ruin it. Harry would tell you it wasn’t your fault and you were being too harsh on yourself but he wasn’t there to soothe you… you couldn’t bear to even think good things about yourself. You were broken.

Harry had spent most of his day recording, he wanted to release new good songs and he knew the fans craved new songs. The recording went really well everything was coming together and he was quite proud of it however he had a horrible gut feeling that he simply could not shake. He knew what you went through and you were always his top priority no matter what, of course concerts mattered and performing for his fans was also his priority but you would always come first. If you needed him he would be right there to support you. He knew you quite well he knew how the simplicity of a hateful comment on social media could send you spiralling and so that’s why he made sure you got rid of social media, he didn’t want to be possessive or controlling but he didn’t want to see you go through the brainwashing factor of all the hateful comments, the comments that stripped you of your self love… you hated yourself and Harry had to do a whole lot to make you love yourself again and he wasn’t gonna let some child mess up your mental health. Most of the comments came from jealous 11 year olds who had no clue what the hell they were doing, it was harmful. Harry remembered the time when hate comments got the best of him too… but he built a tough skin, a wall around himself that protected him from any hate.. he knew how to cope with it but you… you just needed a tad bit more of TLC and he was more than willing to be that person to remind you that you are enough.

“Babe I’m home!” He called his voice echoing off the walls as he quietly shut the front door his ring adorned fingers lightly twisting the lock on the door to make sure they wouldn’t get any visitors. Stalkers most definitely weren’t a shock to Harry. “Baby?” He called once again his concern growing more as he slowly walked into your room his frame pausing as he saw you, your frail body laying weakly on the bed. He let out a soft sigh just glad you were okay before he took slow steps towards where you lay. He slowly sat down beside you on the edge of the bed his hand gently resting upon your shoulder his hand rubbing up and down your back slowly and gently his fingertips slowly drawing patterns “y/n?” He whispered out as he slowly laid down beside you his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you close, and once he saw the way your eyelids fluttered every so slightly he let out a sigh as he gently caressed his hand over your face brushing some hair off of your forehead so he could look clearly into your tired puffy eyes, he knew you should be at your therapy session now but he didn’t bring that up… he knew not to. He knew you were having a mental crisis but that was okay. “What happened?” He asked simply and quietly “I-it doesn’t matter…” your voice was tired and weak his expression turning more stern as he gave you a disapproving but soft look “don’t say that. Of course it matters.” He murmured softly his lips gently pressing against your forehead as he pulled you closer to his body. “You matter, y/n… I don’t want you hiding your emotions from me. You matter, so therefore your feelings matter. C’mon. Talk.” He urged gently he knew when you got like this it took a while to coax it out of you but he had become petty expert at understanding you and understanding what helped knock you out of it. “I don’t wanna.” You whispered into his ear and he nodded, his fingertips gently soothing against your skin “okay. We don’t have to. But I’m gonna stay with you until you want to talk alright?” He said and for the first time you nodded slightly proving you wanted that and that you didn’t want to be alone.

His grip on you loosened ever so slightly as he sat up again scooting backwards so he was propped up on a couple of pillows his back resting against the headboard “c’mon sweetheart, cuddle time.” He murmured giving you a small smile his arms opening wide for you a soft little breath leaving your lips as you lugged your tired body up clambering on top of him, legs straddling either side of him before you leaned into his chest, his arms wrapping around your shoulders tightly and securely making sure you felt safe and sound as you practically melted into his embrace, eyes fluttering shut. “Want to watch a movie? Series? Marvel? Harry Potter? Stranger things? Back to the future?” He named all things you had both watched together at some point. You shook your head remaining nonverbal but he didn’t mind, he knew you needed him and he was going to be right there for you. Your head which rested upon his chest listened to the way his heart thumped rhythmically against his chest, so calmly, so warmly…. So peacefully. “Cartoons” the word soon left your lips as he gazed down at you a small smile tugging at his beautiful lips “alright.” He said simply, not judging one bit, cartoons were comforting in some aspects especially when you were going through a tough time. He put on your favourite cartoon before dropping the remote back down next to him his arm wrapping around you once again as he let out a soft sigh “I’ve got you… I’m right here… never leaving you.” He spoke softly as he pressed a little kiss to the top of your head.

The cartoon soon became a slight murmur in the background as tears blurred your vision a little sniffle coming from you “I’m sorry, H” you whispered meekly, he didn’t respond- simply wanting you to get whatever was on your mind out. “I-I…” you swallowed harshly unable to say it worried he’d be embarrassed of you, worried he would be disappointed. He knew the sound of your voice all too well, the way your eyes were full of worry “you hurt yourself didn’t you?” He asked and the tears that cascaded down your cheeks were enough of an answer for him a soft sigh leaving his lips as he held you tighter more protectively “oh darling… it’s okay..” he whispered quietly your breathing becoming heavier your heart racing so much so it was starting to hurt “I-I’m so sorry harry… I don’t know why I did it it was stupid… I- i was clean for so many days and now I go ruin it like a fucking idiot! I’m so stupid!” Your voice raised more with anger “hey hey hey… look at me.” Harry demanded his hand gently caressing against your chin as he made you look at him “don’t. Don’t. You’re not stupid. Everyone has little bumps in the road… you’re allowed to stumble and fall every now and then. We all are. I’m not angry at you. I’m not disappointed. I’m not upset with you. Breathe. In for four… hold for four… out for four.” He soothed slowly and gently your breathing soon calming down again as he looked into your eyes a soft assuring smile resting upon his lips “I’m sorry… so sorry.” You said quietly and he shook his head “you’ve got no reason to be sorry…” he assured gently “but-“ he shook his head silencing you by pressing a kiss to your lips “but nothing y/n.”

His words were assuring but calming as he smiled softly at you, he was sad you had hurt yourself but he wasn’t angry. No. Not in the slightest. “Can you show me?” He asked softly but once you shook your head he knew not to push your boundaries “okay sweetheart… you don’t have to… did you cover them though? Not bleeding anymore?” And as you shook your head he let out a soft sigh “y/n, I know things are hard right now, but I need you to be vocal with me.” He urged gently and as you looked into his eyes you remembered just how much you could trust him. “Didn’t use a knife or razor” you whispered quietly “lighter” you said, a soft sad look forming on his face as he nodded “okay.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek “thank you for telling me… I’m proud of you.” He murmured softly. You leaned back into him your lips resting beside his ear “I don’t know why I did it… I just felt empty… sad… it seemed as if the whole world was against me today… just felt hopeless.” You whispered to him and he listened giving you his undivided attention “that’s valid. You’re allowed to feel like that. Your feelings are valid.” He comforted his hand gently sliding up the back of your T-shirt as he allowed his warm hand to caress against your skin “I love you y/n.” He said softly and gently. “Love you too Harry.” You whispered and a small smile tugged at his lips. You deserved the world and he knew that… one day he hoped he would be able to help you see yourself through his eyes.

“Tell me, would you treat somebody the way you treat yourself?” He soon asked and you looked into his eyes a small frown forming on your face “of course not.” You said and he nodded “then why do you treat yourself the way you wouldn’t treat others? Do you not believe you deserve the same amount of love others deserve because that’s not true… maybe take some of the love you have for me and give it to yourself. You need to start loving yourself… seeing yourself the way I see you.” He murmured stroking his fingertips against your cheek gently. “How do you see me?” You asked and he smiled softly “well I see a beautiful woman who doesn’t see her worth… I see a woman who’s badass but doesn’t let that full badass potential come out to play enough… I also see a scared anxious girl who doesn’t know how to express herself properly… but within that is a beautiful girl who deserves nothing but happiness. You deserve it y/n. You’re worth it y/n. You’re enough, Y/n.” He said softly and the more you gazed into his eyes the more emotional you became “tell me…” he said softly “what?” You asked softly and he smiled reassuringly “tell me. Tell me you’re enough.” He said and you looked into his eyes “I’m enough.” You said softly and he smiled “good job… now a little louder.” You repeated it again… over and over…. Until somehow it was imprinted into your mind and he wouldn’t ever stop reminding you of that small but very big factor….

You’re enough.

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 5 months

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https://x.com/louiestream/status/1728960764097261792?s=46&t=3v6fUO8HxEhcPbcR8Jxopg

this makes me so much more proud of louis than i already was (which is like. the proudest i have been ever of anyone) because yeah i do love his voice on mitam but he was clearly straining to reach this note on eotd and you can hear it. the whine/moan at the end is hot to me but if they had toured this album and he had tried to hit this note it would’ve hurt him. like, comparatively, the high notes in btm are very similar but sound worlds healthier and more supported.

i feel like that just goes to show how hard he’s worked to improve and utilize the unique aspects of his voice in a healthy way that’ll be better for his voice in the long term. and then if you compare that to H’s performances of toxic or hopelessly devoted to you - who has (imo) relied on his misplaced confidence in his abilities and lack of regard for the health of his voice instead of focusing on longevity. his vocal chords sounded like they were toast to me back in 2015 if he didn’t start caring and i think we’re hearing the ramifications of that now

I agree with you to some extent, and I’ll add a few thoughts, if you don’t mind. Here’s the audio.

The thing about laying down vocals for MITAM is that … I just don’t think they put that much finesse or care into the act of recording. They tried their best, they wrote the songs that they could, but they were writing while touring and recording in hotel rooms, recording in the middle of the night after a full concert, recording while mentally and physically exhausted, and at times drunk or hung over or high because they had zero down time.

Their voices also sound nearly destroyed. In the same song, End Of The Day, Harry sounds like he’s pushing high notes out of a throat that was fried to a crisp. The notes sound like they came from a tortured animal.

Louis’ voice in I Want To Write You A Song was literally two vocal cords beaten to a pulp, rubbing on a sanding belt. I bet it took him weeks to recover.

They wanted to finish the album so they could push out a release in November, a month for big sales. Harry wanted to start his solo career. The album was heavy on autotuning and Julian Bunetta’s overproduction. It sounds heavy and noisy. Drag Me Down’s lyrics, compared to Strong or Love You Goodbye, are perfunctory and cliched.

But the album still had some real gems because 1D is 1D; their voices sound good together.

To your second point— regarding deliberative work on vocal quality.

Louis had lost so much confidence in his voice between year 1 and year 5 of One Direction that he really had to work to dig himself out of a confidence hole. Vocal cords are muscles and singing is a sport, and much like golf or baseball, yips happen. You lose control of your voice and suddenly your falsetto is gone, your chest to head transition is crap, your intonation goes off the road.

Louis is still in the process of working it out, but here’s the thing.

Even while admitting that he’s scared out of his mind, that he’s shitting bricks, that he always second-guesses himself in the first 30 minutes of a concert, Louis is fearless.

Louis sings songs like Too Young and Bigger Than Me live, in an acoustic setting, at radio stations and on television, with no electronic amps covering up mistakes or second takes.

Louis never, ever lip syncs. It’s live, with live voices and live instruments, every time.

Louis shows us the process of rehearsals. He doesn’t have to do rehearsals, and he doesn’t have to take each concert seriously, but singing is a sport, and it requires a warm up, and he does it.

As I said, Louis is still in the process. He still has moments where intonation is off, but his voice is better than it was, it is more expressive and more theatrical. His recordings are better now. He is able to tour and do three consecutive nights of 100-minute shows without ruining his voice. 80 concerts this year, and more to come. If I know Louis, I know he will continue to strive for better.

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swifterthancivility · 6 months

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It's very weird to me that people don't believe Taylor's vault tracks were written at the time of the album or like the era of the album.

I mean first of all Taylor never said these were fully recorded and produced songs ready to go that got cut at the very last second. I think that's what people envisioned but the truth is there were probably a lot of times during the process where songs were cut or added. And maybe some of these songs were cut because 2014 Taylor couldn't finish working on them. Maybe some of the songs were not whole ideas yet or fully realized. That doesn't mean that she is lying when she says they were attached to this era.

And maybe I'm just not a talented writer but if you asked me to write a poem in the style I was using in 2014 I physically could not do it. Like it just wouldn't be possible to get into that mindset again for me. And I don't think Miss "I've never been a natural all I do is try try try" Swift is that different from me in that regard. I think she could edit a song she'd started on a few years ago, but I don't think she has it in her to fabricate songs whole cloth from an era she has left behind.

And finally all the vault tracks have been pretty of their era. I'm going to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of fearless and I wasn't a huge fan of most of the vault tracks. I really only liked Mr. Perfectly Fine. On the other hand I love Red and I loved all the vault tracks. Same with Speak now. And I mentioned before I kind of missed the 1989 era due to personal tragedies but now that I'm listening to it fully through it might be my first no skips Taylor Album (if we're going in order of re-releases) and I am obsessed with the vault tracks. All of the vault tracks fit perfectly into the albums in my opinion.

Fearless was kind of heartbroken and self indulgent so you get "you all over me" and "don't you". Red was as Taylor says, about a heartbroken person so we get "nothing new" and "forever winter" but we also get the other side of Red in "I'll bet you think about me" where she's kind of joking about her ex in a way she couldn't on previous albums. Speak now is all dramatics and magic so we get Timeless, Emma falls in love, and Foolish One, even Castles Crumbling. And 1989 is a nihilistic acceptance of the burdens of fame and how it ruins a normal relationship so we get "suburban legends" and "now that we don't talk".

The songs fit so well thematically into each album to the extent that I can actually kind of see where in the album the song would go. And maybe Taylor truly is the mastermind and she's writing all these songs on the fly but honestly that would be more impressive. I can also honestly see why some were left off. Most of them, I think, were taken off the album at the original time because they would've been damaging to her relationships. I mean imagine "Forever Winter" dropping at the wrong time and having that person hear their mental health struggle become news? Imagine Suburban Legends dropping while Harry Styles fans still hated Taylor. Imagine Mr. Perfectly fine dropping after her break up with Joe? I think Taylor wanted to be kind and not bring those aspects of her life any more into the public than it already was. And even songs that wouldn't have done much were just repetitive. On 1989 I think I see that the most. You don't need "new romantics" and "Suburban Legends" You don't need "wildest dreams" and "slut" they both tell the samr story. Don't get me wrong I love them all, I just see the creative choices in leaving them off.

Anyway that's why I think the vault tracks are genuinely from the vault and not some scheme from Taylor to, idk, get people to be more interested in the most anticipated rereleases of all time. It doesn't make sense.

#taylor swift #1989 tv

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septembersghost · 2 years

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I was a person who thought Maroon was about Harry on first listen and now feels dumb because the Jake of it all could not be more obvious lol

you're not dumb! first of all, the whole album was a lot to take in at first blush, and secondly she relies on some repeated themes in very different senses, so it requires some time and depth to unpack.

let's take dancing. our girl loves dancing as a theme ("and you know i wanna ask you to dance right there, in the middle of the parking lot!" "with you i'd dance, in a storm, in my best dress, fearless." "i'm wonderstruck, dancin' 'round all alone."), and in each context, it's different.

for example, we get dancing with joe j: "i'm not much for dancing, but for you i did." "tonight i'm gonna dance for all that we've been through, but i don't wanna dance if i'm not dancing with you." with him it's part of his charisma and even swagger ("the life of the party, you're showin' off again"), to where we also get, "sashay your way to your seat, it's the best seat in the best room."

we get dancing with jake, "we're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light," and there it's a little about that love being hidden away, the nostalgia she's remembering before the crash and the heartbreak.

we get dancing with harry, "you moved the furniture so we could dance, baby like we had a chance," and it's the desperation for their love to not be splashed everywhere, the anxiety of everything swirling around them.

we get dancing WITHOUT calvin, both the entire theme of bejeweled and, "i was dancing around, dancing around it."

we get dancing with joe in dwoht and cowboy like me and glitch, dancing like it was the first time, dancing through an avalanche, swaying as the room burned down, dancing is a dangerous game, "i thought we had no chance, and that's romance, let's dance," and it's all her fear and worry of losing him, of being too much, of ruining things, of romance not lasting, and what happens is (in my interpretation), when the music stops and they're no longer dancing, he's still there. in the silences, in the stillness, painting maps on the ceiling, reaching out for her hand, asking for sweet nothing. the friction and the movement of the dancing can go quiet, and he's the constant. he doesn't drop her.

SO, this brings me to maroon.

"dancing with no shoes" is connected to dancing around in the refrigerator light to me, where they'd be barefoot in the kitchen (a place where, with joe, she found sacred new beginnings), and also, i think, it's a little bit of, "he didn't like it when i wore high heels."

then we get the reference to new york, which also recurs repeatedly with different people (holy ground/joe j: "first glance feeling on new york time;" atw10/jake: "your brooklyn broke my skin and bones;" cbbh/harry: "new york, be here, but you're in london...;" false god/joe: "i'm new york city" "you're the west village;" daylight/joe: "back and forth from new york, sneakin' in your bed;" hoax/imho regarding various heartbreaks and losses: "you know i left a part of me back in new york").

in maroon, it's connected to the dancing: "and i chose you, the one i was dancing with in new york, no shoes, looked up at the sky...and it was maroon," very much conjures the skyline at sunset, and the autumnal feel, and "getting lost upstate."

then there's the wine lyric: "the burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me," and its closest sister being, "you're still all over me like a wine-stained dress i can't wear anymore." the key here is context about clean - a lot of people think clean references harry, but i personally think it's about jake and her recovery from that situation (plus, she was nowhere CLOSE to clean from harry yet at that point aklsdkljfdg she wrote style after clean).

taylor's scarlet lips are very "red lip classic," but she was already wearing her signature red lips when she was with jake (the stain on his own lips that she called home is from her lipstick imo, although i've seen people say it could also be from the wine).

and then, of course, there's the biggest clue, because she is unhinged (affectionate), and it's that she was clearly and prominently wearing the red ring when she announced maroon's title, and the entire song is just varying shades and contours and depths of "red." loving him wasn't only burning red, it was splashes of burgundy wine, it was rosé, it was the bruising purplish red (in fact, the red of loving him mixed with the blue of losing him), the blood rushing to her cheeks, the rust between telephones (phone calls were a significant aspect of their relationship and are mentioned across red as an album), the carnations mistaken for roses (which is SUCH a metaphor, and i say this as someone who actually loves carnations haha, but it's like - i thought this was rare and valuable, when it was cheap to you). it was so red it was maroon. (red is track 2, maroon is track 2).

moreover, the legacy he left isn't only his memory hanging over her, it's also a literal legacy. it's red being the masterpiece it is and finally being recognized as such. it's all too well being considered the gem of her catalog, being so celebrated and beloved that it was TRANSFORMED for her. it's almost marveling that this is what all that pain became - a real fucking legacy.

all that said, mr. styles intentionally borrowed imagery from taylor when he wrote about her. "she's lying in bed with my t-shirt on, just thinking how i went about it wrong. this isn't the stain of a red wine, i'm bleeding love." "same lips red, same eyes blue." "the fridge light washes this room white." "that nice dress in my wildest dreams, lipstick stains you left still on my sheets." i could go on lol. so making the connection wasn't missing what she was saying, it only requires sorting out the varying details.

there's a difference in the sonic approach too - the longing and sad uneasiness in maroon versus the anxiety and even aggravation in question...? i think she wore the red ring for maroon and used the very obvious OOTW sample in question...? to make it certain we knew which stories she was approaching.

question...? is very much a conversation, whereas maroon is a recollection, and i think that's important too. she's not talking directly to jake, she's remembering. (there's also the fact that the cadence of question...? is not dissimilar from keep driving.) harry said, of both of their songs, "it's the most amazing unspoken dialogue ever." i honestly think question...? is taylor continuing it.

#this is the most tea i've put in an ask haha #but with midnights i feel like it's okay to be delving into these things because she very clearly presented them for us #and is asking for us to hear her and understand those situations and perspectives #taylor swift #midnights #haylor #kind of #anonymous #letterbox

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littlekingbergara · 6 days

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Anyway no more about the situation what are your favorite albums of all time

super appreciate the plural bc i could nottt choose one. how about like ten. these are NOT in any order i just love them so much. also limiting myself to one per artist for your sake.

britney spears's ...baby one more time goddamn i LOVE this album. her voice is soo beautiful and the sound is the perfect late 90s/early 2000s bubblegum pop vibe mixed with some of the most heartfelt songs youve ever heard. gorgeous gorgeous record.

chappell roan's the rise and fall of a midwest princess... obviously. i really truly feel like this album will go down as one of the Greatest pop records in history and it's so deserved ALONG WITH chappell as one of the most iconic performers. like she Literally has everything. party bops and crazy heartbreaking ballads and it translates SO well to a live show. my next record purchase as soon as i can decide between the deluxe or regular and im leaning heavyyyy toward the deluxe.

the regrettes' further joy. i had this on repeat when it came out!!! no skips it's so boppy and fun and thoughtful dreamy... i love it. would give anything to hear it live again but my signed vinyl will have to do. this album is like the music version of this emoji 💖 im so serious.

the cab's symphony soldier. have you ever... listened to this album. for one it's beautiful and two it's SUCH a fun vibe you can't not sing and dance and have so much fun. also yes i'm a spn fan ok move on.

waterparks' fandom. uhh relevant djfhdjdh. but for real it's such a stark and strong commentary on what fandom Is and parasocial relationships and how it feels to be trapped in a box because your fanbase won't let you grow as an artist and what it is to be so accessible to the public to the point where you have no control over yourself or your image. i love her deeply she tickles my brain so nicely and makes me think.

fletcher's you ruined new york city for me. it's an ep ok maybe i'm cheating but she tells the story of a whole album. i listened to this when i got dumped in nyc 🤪 so dramatic lmao. but really it's such a vulnerable breakup album that does so much in five songs. mostly make me sad.

5sos's youngblood. yeah i'm here have you LISTENED to this album??? the SOUNDS on that thing!!! it's like just the right amount of poppy and grungy and mature like... they really did something there.

harry styles debut ... controversial? honestly my favorite harry album changes prob every other week but something about his self titled is really doing it for me right now. it's an incredible body of work that introduces us to Harry Styles himself outside of one direction. i'm begging for a rockier album in the future from him bc the tastes of it we get on this record show he would just nail it.

paramore's after laughter. i swear this album made me feel alive in a way i didn't know i could feel. it's such a departure from their past work but it's still so genuine and true and you can't tell whether you're happy or sad or both or neither it's just everything to a bitch like me who can't confront her emotions dead on. and so so pretty.

carly rae jepsen's emotion.. right? how could it not be. pop perfection and that's all there is to it. the first record i bought before i even had a turntable.

extremely honorable mention to 5sos's the feeling of falling upwards. i didnt officially include it bc it's a live album but i love it so much it's so beautiful.

#idk about No More lmao but i'll talk music!!#anon #music #💌

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watchmegetobsessed · 1 year

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SUBTLE

A/N: this idea got stuck on my mind and i thought i would just type it out so here we are!

WORD COUNT: 1k

SUMMARY: Harry's not so subtle way of hinting that he is in the mood.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

There are celebrities that never wear the same outfit twice. Some keep them tucked away in their closet, probably hoping one day they will be displayed in museums and some just simply get rid of them once the clothes are off of their bodies.

Well, your boyfriend is definitely not one of these people. He is the king of wearing something over and over again until it’s totally ruined and can’t be worn again. The best example is his crusty Vans he always wears to the maximum before even considering buying a new one. When Harry likes something, a shirt, a hat or a pair of pants, he is the biggest outfit repeater and that’s something you love so much about him, because it’s so mundane, so down-to-earth.

His most worn shirt however is a surprising one. Well, not to you, because he wears it because of you so whenever you spot him sporting it, you know what his intentions are.

It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon, it’s been raining all weekend so you’ve spent most of it snuggled up at home, watching movies, cooking and spending some well-deserved quality time together after such a busy week. For the past hour you’ve been glued to the couch with your favorite chunky blanket and a book that you haven’t gotten around to read during the weekdays. Your tea is set on the side table, an hour ago it was steaming hot, but now it’s more like room temperature and half of it is also gone. A pair of old sweatpants has been your uniform since yesterday and today you paired them with one of Harry’s many graphic shirts.

Speaking of your boyfriend, you haven’t seen him for a while now. Last time he mumbled something about having a riff stuck on his mind before he wandered off into his home studio. It’s been radio silence since then and you got to focus fully on your fantasy book.

Harry emerges from the studio after about one and a half hour that he spent strumming away on his guitar, recording a possible new hit song for his next album. Making music usually makes him feel two ways. First one, which happens more often is hungry. His creativity takes a lot of energy and he is a big boy, he needs food to fuel his body and brain as well. The second one however… that’s what causes him the most issues, especially when he is not recording at home and this is what he feels right now as well.

He’s horny.

The song he worked on was heavily inspired by you and the intimate moments he spent with you in the past months and reliving them definitely got him worked up, that’s why he had to put down his guitar and find a solution to his little situation.

But instead of just looking for you, he sneaks into his closet and grabs the shirt he’s been using with ulterior motives lately. He gets rid of his hoodie and then pulls the other shirt over his head before checking himself in the mirror, his eyes scanning over the “Sex” sign over his chest. He can’t help but smile at the sight of the shirt he wore on SNL, which was such an iconic appearance.

He wanders out of the closet and then the bedroom, looking for you with his teeth sunk into his bottom lip to hide his cheeky smirk. He finds you right where left you before his studio session, snuggled up on the couch with your book, your lips moving as you ready but it’s hard to notice. Your eyes are scanning over the lines, one hand holding the book, the other one playing with the necklace he got you for your birthday two years ago. You look adorable and cozy, but he’s also extremely eager to get under that blanket and between your legs.

Clearing his throat he walks closer, failing to pretend like he is just aimlessly wandering around. He peeks at you and narrows his eyes when he sees you haven’t even acknowledged his presence.

“Hey baby,” he speaks up, hoping to catch your attention.

“Mm, hi, what’s up?” you ask, but your eyes are still glued to the page in front of you.

“Not much. Just checking in on you.” Squaring his shoulders he takes a deep breath before exhaling dramatically, his palms smoothing over the shirt, especially the word written across his chest.

“I’m good. Did you finish recording?”

Still no peek at him and he is starting to get frustrated.

“Yeah,” he nods and clears his throat again, standing right in front of you at this point, towering over you.

“Good,” you hum.

You’re still ignoring him and now he is determined to have your pretty eyes on him. A series of coughs follows that finally forces you to look up from the book, mostly because you fear that he has a sore throat, judging from the coughs, but when you catch a glimpse of him you see how he’s puffing his chest so you see what shirt he is really wearing.

“Huh,” you smile, putting your book aside. “Are you trying to tell me something?” you ask, a smirk stretching across your face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shrugs, running his tongue across his lips.

“Do you happen to want to have sex?” you tilt your head to the side.

“Oh! Now that you’re asking, yes. Yes, I absolutely do!”

You can’t hold your laugh back as he basically throws himself at you, his lips already kissing you all over your face as he wedges himself between you and the back of the couch.

“You’re so subtle,” you giggle against his lips, pulling the blanket over the both of you while his hands are already wandering under your shirt.

“That’s my middle name,” he grins. “Harry Subtle Styles.”

“What happened to Edward?”

“Gone. He’s dead,” he chuckles before his lips get busy with yours.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

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buzzcutmase · 10 days

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So, I have a few thingssss so say 🙂‍↔️ I have way more but I can’t think straight

Down Bad is so catchy 💆🏼‍♀️

I understand everybody’s obsession with so long, London -hello, the lyrics??- but I would’ve loved it with a different music..? If that makes sense? 🥲 doesn’t slap like it could imho

Also thanK you aIMee - hahah 😂 “I don’t think you’ve changed much” ~ spot on! I think Cassandra also references KimK..?

And why is nobody talking about the alchemy? CUTE & CATCHY 😍

Black dog is about MH? The bridge is chefs kiss tho!

Fortnight has a kinda 80s vibe in terms of the music? 😌 Reminds me of a great 80s version of Adore You by Harry I found years ago on YT, btw!

I hate it here - “I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists. And getting married off for the highest bid. Nostalgia is a mind's trick. If I'd been there, I'd hate it.”

Love how shes romanticising “the good old days” whilst also heavily criticising doing so by pointing out the racism, sexism - ugh. Yes.

OK OK first of all i really love how you came to me with all this, i'm obsessed with it actually soooooo i'll use this as an excuse to give you all my thoughts on the whole album! (bare in mind i've not listened to the second part of the album yet because i've been busy today so i only had the chance to listen to the first part twice to understand the lyrics more!) 😌

fortnight: i completely agree with you on that one! it's such an 80s vibe and i love it, also the lyrics are soooo ugh! "i love you it's ruining my life" give her the grammy NOW!.. i do wish post malone featured more on it though bc i really like him and his music so!

the tortured poets department: LOVE! the chorus is soooo good! when the track titles got released i was actually most excited about this one bc i just couldn't think of how she would include a line like that into a song but obviously she made it work bc she's a mastermind :')

my boy only breaks his favourite toys: so catchy! so matty coded tbh so she ATE with that one!

down bad: SOOOOOOOOO CATCHY! it's such a banger tbh and so relatable like "fuck it if i can't have him i might just die it would make no difference" (makes me think of mase hehehe!)

SO LONG, LONDON: the perfect song to be the special track 5: heartbreaking and earth shattering like the lyrics make me cry ESPECIALLY the 3rd verse!!!! "you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? i died at the altar waiting for the proof, you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days and i'm just getting color back to my face. i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place for so long, london. had a good run, a moment of warm sun but i'm not the one" UGHHHH! and knowing how much this means to her is soooo insane and i can see how you might've liked it with a different music but i actually think it's super fitting because it's the sped up beat like there is going to be a climax in the song somewhere but there isn't and the slow singing of the words kind of counteract it which was what taylor and joe's relationship felt like... like there would be a climax in the relationship with a wedding and babies but it never came and she spent all this time waiting just for it to be over in the end you know? :(

but daddy i love him: I LOVE how she adressed the fact that every single time she dates someone people on the outside who don't know shit about her personal life want to include themselves in it and give their opinion and i love how she wrote the song in a sarcastic fuck you way BUT since it's about matty i feel like most of the opinions on their relationship are justified bc of who he is and the things he said so i feel like most of us were just looking out for her in the way we were against it you know? like there were reasons why people hated them together so much. ALSO SHE NAME DROPPED ME??? EXCUSE ME TAYLOR???

fresh out the slammer: BANGER! the classic "came out of a heartbreak from a long term relationship and need a rebound for some time" LOVE!

florida: not too sold on it yet but i feel like i need to listen to it a few more times before i can really have an opinion on it 😌

guilty as sin?: i love this song so much. the vibe? the lyrics? i'm in love, it's so relatable aswell LIKE

who's afraid of little old me?: FAVOURITE SONG ON THE ALBUM! BY FAR! the way she wrote about the fame ruining her and her mental health and turning her into someone she never wanted to be is so fucking beautiful honestly like it's devastating but so beautifully written. and the first "who's afraid of little old me?" the way she's screaming it. YES YES YES. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

i can fix him (no really i can) : it's so sexy??? like the way she sings it and the lyrics? like she's so sexy like yes queen if anyone could change a man IT'S YOU!

loml: sooooooo heartbreaking and such a masterpiece... how it goes from love of my life to loss of my life... i'm going to CRY. i'm conflicted whether it's about joe or matty though... maybe both? i'm not sure but it's beautiful either way. 💔

i can do it with a broken heart: it feels like bejweled... but in a suicidal "i wanna die" but on crack way! it's so fun though??? like so sad how she had to put on a smile ever single night on tour even if she felt like shit but i'm so proud of her always for making it through and being happy now and i hope we as fans had a good impact on that too!

the smallest man who ever lived: again... conflicted who it's about but it's such a great song and whoever it's about will have to fucking deal with me soon bc HOW DARE YOU HURT HER LIKE THIS.

the alchemy: as you said SO CUTE SO CATCHY! so happy she found happiness with travis and it's all good now and she's healing from all the heartbreak and the hard times she faced the past year :( no one deserves happiness more than her! ❤️‍🩹

clara bow: LOVE LOVE LOVE! it feels like it's the second part of "the lucky one" if you know what i mean... and her singing about herself but not in the way she sang about clara bow and stevie nicks with them being heart capturing icons everyone loves but in a self depricating way... heartbreaking bc she sadly still think of herself as an imposter in all this but so beautifully written again. also taylor swift name dropping taylor swift on a taylor swift album???? INSANE. 🥺

SOOOO basically, i feel like this album was made from the deepest depths of taylor's mind written specifically for the people who get her and have been loving and supporting her for a long time... like there is no proper poppy single or song for the general public on there which is why i think so many people on social media have slammed the album and said she really missed the mark with this one but if you get it and if you understand the situations she sings about bc you've been thorugh them with her it's such a meaningful abum about her heartbreaks, mental struggles, struggles with fame and not feeling like real person but also about her healing journey and seeing the funny side of people having an opinion on your every move you know? i love her. i truly do. mastermind. ❤️‍🩹

WILL CHECK BACK IN AGAIN WHEN I LISTENED TO THE SECOND PART OF THE ALBUM! HEHE!

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avatar-anna · 2 years

Text

Falling Part II

summary: a continuation of Falling in which Harry talks about his journey back to you.

words: 3k

tw: mentions of drug use/abuse

Part 1

Harry was sitting down for his first proper interview in over two years.

He thought he would be nervous, but he wasn’t. His hands didn’t tremble once as he sat with Zane Lowe at a table, the vast expanse of the ocean visible and sparkling from their vantage point. Taking a steady breath, he met the interviewer’s eyes as he asked another question.

“This album is very introspective and deeply personal. And what’s great about it is that you don’t seem to shy away from what seem like some of your biggest demons. Can you tell me a little about what that was like? Experiencing those things all over again to write a song or writing as you lived through your darkest moments?”

Harry hesitated. He knew that by agreeing to this interview, he’d have to answer these kinds of questions. Parts of his past were very public, and as he campaigned this album, he didn’t try to hide what he’d been through. But sometimes it was hard to find the words that best described certain moments of his life.

“Some songs were definitely easier than others,” he said, rubbing a hand over his chin, a little stubble growing there. “When—When I first started writing this album, I was at the lowest I’d ever been. I was alone with nothing but my thoughts and memories of all the times I failed the people I loved most. And…It was horrible. For a time, I never had to deal with the consequences of my actions, and then suddenly I had to face every single one of those consequences. There was a time where I would…turn to certain things to help me forget, but I couldn’t anymore, so I started to write.

“And this alone time would be referring to rehab?”

Harry nodded. “For a while I was ashamed that I’d done it, or that I’d gone and everyone seemed to know about it, but it saved my life, and I’ll never be ashamed of that.”

“And you shouldn’t be,” Zane said. “It probably didn’t feel like it at the time, but it’s an achievement for sure.”

Zane was right to say that at first going to rehab wasn’t something Harry thought he should’ve been proud of. For him, it was a reminder of all the ways he’d failed. His family, his friends, his fans, and you. He thought he would never forgive himself for everything he put you through.

“Can I ask where it all started for you? Because to a lot of people, you seemed perfectly fine, but I suppose that’s how those things go.”

“Um…The end of my first tour was a huge success, much bigger than any of us really anticipated, and things kind of went from there,” he said, remembering the night that changed everything.

It was after the final show. While on the road, Harry typically laid low, not wanting to be exhausted or hungover for the next performance. His manager threw him what was supposed to be a small party of close friends and those who’d been on tour with him, but somehow it nearly quadrupled in size. Harry had decided to let off some steam that night, saying yes to whatever came his way. That night had been the best night of his life, and he’d been chasing that feelingt ever since.

“I rode the wave of the first album’s success until I crashed and burned. I hurt a lot of people, ruined a lot of relationships. This album is kind of a love letter to them. I wanted to show them how much they mean to me and how far I’ve come.”

“People?” Zane asked him. “Or person?”

It was no secret that you and Harry were dating back in the day. You were spotted at many of his shows, seen spending time with Harry’s family in England. At the time of your break up, neither of you said a word about it publicly. But the media always has its ways of spinning the truth. And after numerous rumors, people came to the conclusion that you were no longer together. Because of his going to rehab or some other secret reason, the world would never know, but it wasn’t for them to know.

“People. I have a lot of great individuals in my life that helped me through everything. As the saying goes, ‘it takes a village.’”

Zane went on to ask about other things: singles, production, inspiration behind the overall sound of the album. Harry answered each one honestly, and with a level of enthusiasm that was palpable through the screens of the cameras filming him.

“Now, there are a few love songs on here, and as we discussed, there are some pretty upbeat sounds being used. How did you go about organizing this record?”

“Well, I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to make an album, but to me it didn’t feel right to have a project that was completely miserable. One of the things I think this record conveys is that there were highs as well as lows for me these last few years.”

“I want to touch on that for a second,” Zane said, and Harry nodded for him to continue. “This album does have a romantic feel to it, but like you said, there are a lot of, for lack of better phrasing, pretty steep peaks and valleys. Were you aware of that and how it might reflect the euphoria of drugs as well as falling in love?”

“I think the beautiful thing about music, or any piece of art, is that there’s never one concrete meaning or interpretation. It can mean one thing to one person, and something completely different to another. Was the placement of each song a conscious decision? Yes, but I wouldn’t say my reasoning for doing so is the only correct perception of it.”

After talking a little more about the order of the album, Zane asked, “You talked earlier about some of the relationships that were hurt as a result of your addiction. Did you mend those relationships at any point in the writing process? If any of these songs are about them, do they know? Or will it come as a surprise?”

“I’m, um, I’m very lucky to have very merciful people in my life,” Harry confessed. “As I think most people know, making amends is part of the healing process when you go to rehab, and when I got out, I worked hard to fix what I’d broken.”

You were the first person Harry went to see when he got out of rehab. He knew that of all the people he hurt, he hurt you the most. It was hard at first to reconcile with himself and eventually be the man you deserved, but he feared that he would be too late. You made no promises to wait for him, and even if you had, Harry would never hold you to that. Sober Harry wouldn’t, at least. He realized the severe amount of pain and anxiety that he put you through. Making sure you knew how sorry he was was the first item on his long list of things he needed to do after he left rehab.

And when he knocked on your door and you were holding a small bundle in your arms, Harry didn’t know what to feel. At first he thought the baby wasn’t his, but you assured him it was, but then he was angry at you for not telling him. You had to have found out you were pregnant shortly after you’d broken up, and you never said a word to him about it afterwards.

“I had to do what was right for the baby, and you, the people you surrounded yourself with, they weren’t the kind of people I wanted my daughter to be around. I told you that the last time we talked, Harry.”

My daughter. Not his. No, if he knew you as well as he thought he did, he would have to earn that right. And he would. He wasn’t sure if you would ever let him back into your life romantically, but he would prove to you that he was a changed man, that he could be the kind of father you wanted to raise a child with.

He told you all of that, but much like your last phone call, you told him that you couldn’t just take his word for it. “But you can hold her, if you’d like,” you said, offering up the baby that were equal parts the two of you as far as looks went.

“What’s her name?” Harry asked you, not once looking away from his daughter’s face, committing it to memory in case it was a long time before he saw it again.

“Aurora,” you said softly, peering over his shoulder to look at your daughter too. Then, almost as if sharing a secret, “I call her Rory sometimes.”

“Like a little princess,” he murmured.

That moment felt so right to you, but you couldn’t let yourself grow attached. You wanted to believe that Harry had changed, but you had to protect yourself and your daughter, so you carefully planned a schedule for Harry so he could visit and spend time with the baby. If he could be there on time, if he showed up when you told him to, you would progress from there. Much like your daughter eventually would, you and Harry needed to take baby steps.

“I’m happy for you, mate, I really am. It seems like you’ve come a long way,” Zane said, breaking Harry out of his thoughts.

“Yeah I, uh, I had a lot of growing up to do.”

“And how do you maintain the life you’ve rebuilt for yourself? Meditation? Writing? Exercise?”

“Fear that I could lose it all again is a pretty good motivator,” Harry joked, but there was truth to his words. He knew that if he messed up he would lose you and Aurora. “But yeah, meditating and writing are really helpful. And I think before, I began to isolate myself from the people who wanted to help me, but I…don’t do that anymore. My support system means the world to me.”

The interview wrapped up shortly after that. Once the cameras were off, Harry and Zane stood up from where they were sitting and said their goodbyes. Harry made sure to thank him and the rest of the crew that came to his home to film today, shaking their hands and seeing them all out until he was the last person outside.

Without the camera crew’s lights, it was completely dark outside, and Harry had to pull his phone out of his pocket and use the flashlight on it to guide him back to his home. The lights were on downstairs, but no one was there. He picked up a few stray toys and put them back in the basket he kept downstairs for Aurora. When he straightened back up, he realized how tired he was. Talking about everything he’d been through two years ago was exhausting.

In another life, he would’ve poured himself a drink, and one drink would become two, then three, and so on. His fingers even itched for a glass now, the way they always would, but he fought the urge, focusing on something else.

Harry took the stairs up to the second floor of his house, it was quiet, most of the rooms dark except for one at the end of the hall. As he got closer, he could hear giggling and splashing, and he could picture bath toys and bubbles flying everywhere. His daughter turned out to be a very messy bather.

“Dada!”

You turned around at Aurora’s exclamation to find that Harry was in fact there, standing behind you. He looked tired, but content, the same light that always showed up when he saw his daughter twinkling in his eyes. “How’d it go?”

“Good,” Harry said, coming over to help you bathe Aurora. “Zane’s a great guy. I’m glad I went with him for my first interview.”

“That’s great, H. I’m really happy for you.”

It took a long time to convince you, but as time went on, you came to realize that Harry had in fact changed. You saw it the most when he was with Rory. Harry never missed a visit, never stepped over any boundaries you set, and his priority was always his daughter. At first. Once you’d trusted him to have his own room in his house for Rory, he knew it was time. He had proven that he could be the man you raised a baby with, now he needed to prove that he could be the man you could spend the rest of your life with.

It started small, asking you on coffee dates or offering to rub your back whenever you were tense. You didn’t see what was happening at first, you just assumed he was building your friendship back up, so when he asked you out on a proper date, it took you by surprise.

“Dada!” your daughter called again, and this time he did more than just smile.

“Yes, princess?” he asked, giving his daughter his full attention.

“Look!”

Aurora sank down low in the tub, her nose just above the surface of the water, and began to blow. Bubbles erupted immediately, though they didn’t last long because she’d begun to laugh too much.

“Wow! Look at you go!” Harry said, looking at her as if she’d just invented time travel or something equally remarkable.

When she sat back up, she reached her arms out for Harry to take. Reaching for her elephant themed hooded towel, he wrapped it around Aurora’s shoulders before lifting her out of the tub. You let Harry get her ready for bed, electing to clean up the mess made in the bathroom from all the splashing.

You met Harry in Aurora’s room afterward, leaning against the doorframe as he sang her to sleep. You watched as your daughter blinked slower and slower until her eyes were shut for good, fast asleep. Harry stood up and walked over to where you were standing, joining you in gazing lovingly at your daughter.

“We made a gorgeous child, huh?” he said, leaning in close.

Too focused on Rory, you didn’t see the way he was looking at you, so you agreed. When you finally saw the look on his face, you frowned. “No. Not happening.”

“Oh, come on,” Harry said, following you out of Aurora’s room. “Why not?”

Why was the question. “We have a good thing going here, H. And you’re about to release a new album, possibly go on tour. We don’t need to add a baby to the mix.”

Harry had taken the last two years to spend time with you and Aurora. It had been nice to have his undivided attention; even when he was writing or recording he always made time for you and the baby. But now that things were slowly starting to pick up again, you worried about history repeating itself. This wasn’t the first time Harry brought up having another baby, and you always gave him the same answer.

Taking your hand in his, he squeezed it gently. “Nothing is going to change, love. I promise.”

You nodded, believing him, something you never thought you’d be able to do again. “I know, I just…worry that’s all.”

Harry leaned forward and kissed your forehead. “I’m sorry. I’ve put you through so much.”

Both of you went to bed with unanswered questions. It took a long time to get to this point, and the first time you shared a bed with Harry again was like the first step towards rebuilding a relationship. Things had been smooth sailing since, but it was still a slow and gentle process. You knew that another baby was something Harry really wanted, though, something he wanted to experience properly.

“Let’s wait a little longer, okay?” Even if you’re in a good place, I think there’s a lot going on right now. Let’s wait for things to die down and then we��ll see.”

“Okay.” Harry sat down on his bed. Pulling you close until you were standing right in front of him, he smiled, kissing the back of your hand. “We can still practice, though, right?”

You rolled your eyes, but didn’t protest. “Yes, I suppose we can practice.”

“I love you,” Harry whispered. Both of you probably should’ve been asleep, seeing as Aurora liked to start her day as soon as the sun rose, but you were still awake.

He needed to hear it sometimes. And after a day like today where he had to talk extensively about the past, you knew he needed to hear you say it back. “I love you too, baby. And you’re a wonderful father, and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.”

His smile was sleepy, his eyes blinking slowly just like Aurora’s had. “Get some rest, H. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

You kissed his cheek, then his forehead, then the tip of his nose. There was a time in your life where you never thought you would do this again, and you had made peace with that. Being with Harry again was something you didn’t expect, but you felt extremely lucky to have found yourself back in his arms again. “Promise.”

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