'Till the Day I Die

Luke Hemmings x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Some swearing

Blurb: You hadn’t seen your ex boyfriend in 7 months after he broke your heart, and at a party you finally see him again.

Note: hey :) I wrote this short piece as an introduction to me writing for 5sos! If you have any requests for any of the boys, pls send them in 🖤

The light drizzle of rain tickled the tip of your nose and the ends of your lashes, a chilling breeze causing you to pull your thin jacket tighter around yourself. The muffled beat of lounge rock music drawled through from the patio doors, a light chatter of tipsy voices and clattering mixed in with the soft tunes.

"Have you spoken to Luke tonight?" Calum asked you, taking a short drag from his cigarette and turning to face you as he pressed his elbows to the cool metal on the balcony railing.

You shook your head and sighed, staring out at the darkening view of the city lights.

"Are you going to?"

Smoke tingled with your senses as you wrung your hands together, thinking for a short minute.

"Why can't he speak to me first?" you asked, not once tearing your eyes away from directly looking in front of you.

"He's not going to do that," Calum said, "I think he's scared."

You sighed again.

Calum held out his half-smoked cigarette in front of you, drops of ashes dusting the balcony floor.

You let the smoke inhale into your throat and exhale out of your mouth again, watching the clouds in front of you dance into the chilling air.

"Does he even regret leaving me without even really giving me a reason?" you asked, twisting the cigarette between your fingers a little.

A moment of silence passed.

"He hasn't really spoken much about it" Calum said.

You sighed for a third time.

You handed Calum his cigarette and took a swig of your vodka mixer, it's harsh burn trickling down your throat. You pulled the cup away from your lips and screwed your face into a disgusted frown.

Calum chuckled loudly, "not really a vodka girl huh?"

You shook your head and coughed a little, "but it gets me drunk quick so fuck it" you laughed lightly.

After Calum had finally decided to leave to find another drink, you decided to make your way to the toilet, smiling and waving at a few people on the way. You stared at yourself in the mirror, mascara now slightly smudged and hair a little frizzy from the faint rain. You combed your fingers through it to try and untangle the knots, adjusting your skirt to a more suitable position.

"Fuck" you whispered to yourself, the light buzz in your head from the alcohol kicking in a little.

As you left the bathroom, you noticed Luke from the corner of your eye, his curly blonde hair and sparkly eyeshadow was instantly recognisable. He was wearing his favourite suit trousers and converse, the combo you always thought looked great on him.

He was smiling and laughing with Ashton and some girl, your heart picking up in speed. You knew it was wrong to feel pissed off at the fact he looked happy, you just wanted him to be miserable without you. You knew that sounded cruel but you couldn't help it. You wanted him to feel as broken as you did when he left.

You made your way back to the balcony, now alone, beginning to feel anxious and awkward at the sight of seeing your now ex-boyfriend of 7 months.

"Oh" you heard awkwardly from behind you.

You slowly turned around, your heart now hammering in your chest as you came face to face with Luke.

You stared silently at each other for what felt like five minutes, it becoming obvious to you that Luke hadn't come out here because he knew you were and wanted to see you.

"Sorry" he croaked.

"I didn't know you were out here."

You twisted your lips between your teeth, racking your brain for anything to say back that didn't sound stupid.

"Why? Am I that unbearable to see?" you questioned, not even really aggressively but more in a defeated manner.

Luke cast his eyes away from you for a moment and you could see his cheeks heating up a little with embarrassment.

"No" was all he could say.

"How are you anyway?" you asked, trying your best to make conversation. For some reason you desperately didn't want him to leave, and you wanted at least a minute more with him. Even if your head and heart hurt whenever you looked into his blue eyes.

"I'm fine" he replied, looking uncomfortable in the spot he was standing in but obviously scared to even move a muscle. "You?"

"I'm okay" you told him.

He nodded slightly before turning around to place his hand on the handle of the patio door, ready to re-enter the party.

Your shoulders dropped as you turned back to the view, tears forcing their way to teeter on the edge of your eyelids. You knew seeing him would hurt but you weren't prepared for the actual literal pain it brought.

"Actually I'm shit."

Your eyebrows raised slightly as your body tensed up. You kept your focus on the buildings and cars below you, scared of what to reply and shocked at his admittance.

"I've been shit since we broke up, and it's worse 'cause it's all my fault."

Your mouth felt dry, a tear that had been taunting you fell quickly down your cheek. You brought your hand up to your cheek to wipe it away and it was gone as quickly as it had come.

You had been longing for and imagining this moment over and over, concocting scenarios in your head where he had said this to you in various different ways, but you couldn't even now bring yourself to look at him anymore, never-mind respond.

You heard him sigh and begin to open the door, his footsteps shuffling for a moment before stopping, the music from inside now a little louder.

"I may have fucked up and you may hate me," Luke said quietly from behind you.

"But fucking hell, I know I will love you 'till the day I die."

Your chest rose and fell heavily, another couple of tears crawled down your face, but still no words came to mind. You felt as stuck as a clay statue.

You heard the door shut behind you and the music was instantly muffled again, and you knew that you were alone. A soft quiet sob left your mouth, as you hugged yourself tightly and mentally berated yourself for not saying anything.

After another ten minutes of calming yourself down, you re-entered the party, desperately scanning your eyes around the room for his blonde mop of hair. You couldn't see him anywhere. You began to panic that you had fucked up your chance after he had just literally told you he still loved you.

"He left a few minutes ago" Calum told you as he sloped up to you, a beer grasped in his hands. His eyes were glassy from being a bit too drunk. "You might still catch up to him" he smirked a little, like he was telling you that he knew something you didn't.

You thanked Calum and left through the front door, practically running down the flights of stairs and to the front of the building complex.

There he was, waiting out on the pavement for a taxi.

You cautiously approached him, shivering a little in the nighttime breeze and steady rain.

"I don't hate you" you said, making Luke jump a little at your sudden voice.

He turned to stare into your soul, his bright blue eyes the only thing you could focus on as a small curl tickled his brow, his leather jacket covered in little raindrops and glitter dotted over his cheeks as the rain had migrated it from his eyelids.

"I fucked up Y/N and I'm sorry, so sorry" he suddenly began to ramble without warning, "I don't deserve you, I fuck-" his voice cracked.

You took one step closer to him.

"I was just scared of hurting you or that you would hurt me so I ran away, and I fucking hurt you anyway" he continued, his blue eyes were vast teary oceans.

"Luke" you whispered softly.

He stopped his rambling, as you stood directly in front of him.

"I fucking miss you" you choked out without really thinking as he gave you a wet sad smile in reply.

He opened his mouth to reply but as he did so, his taxi pulled up to the curb, the driver inside motioning for him to hurry. Luke gave him a wave and turned back to you, drinking all of you in as he seemed to fight with himself not to leave you now. Not like this.

"Do you need a ride home?" he asked.

"I don't want to be a pain."

"Please" he almost begged you.

You agreed and climbed into the taxi before him, your heart and head in a mess of confusion and intense emotion. You still hadn't quite registered the fact that Luke had finally explained his reason for why he hurt you, even if it was in a few rambled sentences. You still hadn't really taken in the fact that Luke still loved you.

You were both silent in the back of the dim taxi, your hand next to you gripping the edge of the middle seat. You desperately wanted to look at Luke but a part of you felt too rigid with nerves to move your head even a crack.

But as the taxi slowly followed traffic in front, you suddenly felt a warmth upon your hand, your chest fluttering a little as you looked over at Luke's hand on yours.

You let him intertwine his fingers with yours, resting your entangled hands on the middle seat, neither of you spoke a word but a thousand feelings were exchanged.

Luke softly squeezed your hand like he always used to, and a small smile tickled the corners of your lips, because you hadn't felt these innocently romantic feelings since you had first met.

lullaby & goodnight. ⌇ lrh.

A/N: i have a soft spot for dad!au’s & the idea of luke being a father makes me super soft, so i wanted to indulge in my silly little fantasies.

summary: in which, your daughter is having a hard time falling asleep & luke knows exactly how to center her.

word count: 1,000+ words.

“Ollie, baby, please–”

“No.” The young girl pouts, arms crossed over her chest with her favorite plush toy held in the grip of her tiny fingers. “No, no, no!”

“Ophelia, you need to sleep. How else will you have the energy to hang out with Daddy tomorrow?” A rhetorical question, yet you hope your five-year-old has the understanding and sense to answer it; Ophelia was incredibly smart for her age and seemed to be quite mature, however, she was a child and children will do as they please, no matter how old of a soul they already seem to be. 

The tiny blonde shakes her head dramatically before looking away from you. At this point, you’re ready to admit defeat and let her stay up for as long as she wants, or at least, until she tires herself out doing whatever it was that she wanted to do. However, you wanted to sleep and your husband was in your home studio, finishing up a tune that he’d been working on for days, so grabbing him to help with your stubborn daughter was, in your mind, out of the question. You couldn’t leave her unattended, you’d feel like a shitty mother if you did and Ollie was too young to be on her own. 

“Is there anything I can do to help you fall asleep?” You inquire, eyebrows knit together in hopes that there was a solution to this scenario. You’re met with large, doe-like eyes, the hue of them a replica of your own. Your daughter’s gaze is innocent, yet a hint of mischief lies in the depths of her irises. 

“No, but Daddy can.” 

Of course. Ophelia was a Daddy’s girl, through and through. She and Luke shared a bond unlike one you’ve ever encountered and had each other wrapped around their fingers. Whenever you three had family outings, there were moments where you felt like you were third wheeling; it was simply your husband and your daughter’s world and you were just living in it – happily, obviously. You don’t think you’d have it any other way. Sharing life with the two of them was one of the greatest gifts you’d ever received. 

“Ol, Daddy’s busy right now.”

Ophelia wasn’t having it. She would not take ‘no’ for an answer, “I can wait for him!”

You blink twice, unsure of what to say to the child in front of you. The sound of a door opening and closing gains your attention, footsteps getting louder as they come down the hall and stop. 

Luke pokes his head into the dimly lit bedroom your daughter occupies, a gentle, tired smile on his face. “Ladies,” He greets the both of you, “everything okay in here?” he adds, eyebrows raising slightly. 

“Ollie is having a bit of trouble getting to bed.” You reply, your gaze averting from your husband to your little girl, who looks very pleased with herself; she’s about to get exactly what she wanted. 

“Oh, yeah? Can I help?” Luke offers, fully entering the room. He sits on the edge of the twin sized bed covered in pale yellow sheets, stuffed animals crammed against the headboard. 

Ophelia abandons her plush toy, leaning into her father’s hold as he opens his arms and cuddles her into his chest. A lighthearted chuckle leaves your husband’s lips, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he looks at you, “Sorry, baby. I guess I’m what she needed.”

“Figures,” You sigh, a grin pulling at your lips. “She’s got you wrapped, Lu.”

“Definitely,” He agrees, before turning his attention back to your daughter. “Alright, miss. How can I help you sleep, hm?” 

Silence fills the room as your daughter thinks for a brief moment. She’ll milk Luke for all the time that he’s willing to give her, there’s no doubt about that. Doe eyes look up, blinking innocently to really make sure he’s ready to deliver. “Sing to me, pretty please?”

Luke doesn’t waste any time in giving in to her command. If a lullaby is what she wants? It’s what she’ll get. “I can do that for you. Anything you’re wanting to hear?”

“No- wait, can I get comfy?” She asks, pulling away from her father a bit. Luke nods, shifting from his space on the edge of the bed, which prompts you to also get up in order to allow for your daughter to get comfortable under the sheets. Once she’s settled, you and your husband snuggle in on either side of her, wrapping your arms around the girl you both love most. 

“Ready, sweetheart?” Luke hums, oceanic eyes peering down at your daughter. He always looks at her with so much love and so much pride, you swear that every time you see it, your heart swells up with affection. 

Ophelia nods, her gaze trained on her father as he begins to sing softly, “Take my hand, now and forever…” 

As he continues to sing, his melodic voice filling up the space, you watch as the melody flowing from Luke’s lips sends your daughter into a blissful, serene state. Her eyes get droopy as each second passes, the calm atmosphere and warmth provided by her loving parents causing sleep to overtake her. Soon enough, her head is slumped against the pillows, her face slightly buried in the Pink Floyd shirt your husband donned. 

Your eyes meet Luke’s when you’re sure that Ophelia is sound asleep, quietly mouthing a ‘thank you’ to him. If it weren’t for him and his incredible knowledge of what your child needed, you doubt she’d be asleep by now. He smiles, blinking sleepily at you before gingerly leaving the softness your daughter’s bed provides, holding out his hand for you to take in order to leave her room. 

With a flip of a switch, the dimly lit room is drowned in darkness, save for the pink hued night light plugged into the wall. Luke closes the door as you both exit, then wraps his arm around you and leads you to your own bedroom, sighing dreamily as the prospect of sleep draws closer with each step you take.

before the stage

prompt. quickly sewing back the loose button of their shirt that came off at the last minute, realising that you two are extremely close (1.2k)

pairing. luke hemmings x assistant!reader

warnings. fluff, employer x assistant feelings, written in 2nd person, frustrated!luke, the black shirt 🥵

divider credits. @cafekitsune

It was almost time for Luke and his band to perform, they had been entirely prepared and surpassed any qualms that threatened to delay their appearance on stage, however in the last moment, another problem appeared, leading Luke to sigh irritatedly. He was wearing a button up, the first one already undone, however it appeared that it didn't matter how much the quality of the satin fabric had cost, a couple of buttons in his midsection had escaped from the threads that held them in place.

The lead singer plucked the black pearls that closed his shirt up from the trodden ground, holding the minuscule clasps in his large hand. To say he was annoyed was an understatement; he didn't even have a backup outfit, he was set on wearing the exact apparel that he had on. "Fuck sake." His tone was bitter, it was as though something always had to go wrong at the last second.

It was just his luck, he thought. "Is something wrong Luke?" The voice cut through his distress as smooth as a knife, the soft sound relaxing the tall man slightly, as he looked to the side to see you - his assistant. He felt his lips incoherently move on their own accord as he fumbled to speak, miming through oxygen that flowed between you. "I- uh." He didn't want to rant to you about something so unimportant in the world, it would make him appear nonchalant to the real problems that tainted the earth.

He had the ability to purchase anything that he wished for due to the success of his music career, and thus he felt petty. "It's nothing." Luke shrugged off the grievance that had the strength to delay his entrance beneath the stage lights, there was no justice in getting worked up over something so minuscule. "Just.. my shirt broke." To emphasise his point in an embarrassed gesture, he braced his hands awkwardly on his hips and looked down at his torso.

A crease fell between your brows, and he felt like an absolute fool. There was a hue of red blossoming on his cheeks as he noticed your eyes scanning along his body, pinpointing the ajar fabric, your pupils staring sternly at his exposed skin. "I have just the thing." Your y/e/c eyes devotedly ogled up at him, glee glowing with an ambience from your eyes as a wide smile sprawled on your lips, leaving the curly haired blonde riddled in confusion.

For a moment you ignored your employer, shuffling with a purpose through your handbag that was slung across your shoulder, all knowing with what your search was for. A sound of diluted happiness prevailed from your throat as you plucked out a small and transparent case, where sewing needles and midnight coloured thread were stored. "Did you find the buttons?" It wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't, as you had a couple of spares loosely dancing around in your bag, however Luke held out his hand.

Luke felt sparks shoot through his body as you took the buttons, your fingers digging gently in the indent lines of his palm, grasping the black spheres and preparing your tools to reattach them. He could have sworn you were an angel sent from heaven to make every day that he spent with you significantly brighter; if there was ever a barricade to his intended path, you always had a solution.

You were always prepared, however in this moment you had to try with great difficulty to ignore the his soft abs from your focused sight. All you had to do was your job, which was to provide support and anything that Luke required, and so with your black reel of thread connected to the button, you grasped the opening of his shirt, knuckles brushing his tender muscles. The contact made him shakily inhale, his heart thumping vigorously within his chest.

He had never meant to form such an unprofessional crush on you, but it was impossible, sure when he interviewed you he couldn't ignore the physical attraction that he felt for you, though it didn't blind him to your listed criteria that was on your resume. "Thanks for this." He quietly spoke, but his words were as clear as day due to the proximity that you shared. One button down, one to go - you felt sufficiently accomplished, and you held the other one, determined to finish this fixing in time.

"It's my job." You responded nonchalantly, shrugging his appreciation off as to calm the butterflies that hurtled around in your stomach. "And it's no big deal Luke, it's an easy fix." Oh god, he could feel your breath hitting his chest where he had intentionally opened his shirt, and he could feel sweat brewing against his hairline. You were so focused, and he couldn't help but take in every detail of your face.

As you finished with putting the last button on, you placed the needle and thread back where they belonged, before you grasped the sides of his shirt, readying to put them through their designated loops. As you looked up, and he looked down upon you in his heeled boots, your nose almost touched his chin, and your eyes met in a staring embrace. "Hi." You muttered, hands still on his blouse.

"Hey." He replied, his lips pulling at the sides as his pupils enlarged in their surrounding blue pools. "How long do we have?" The musician enquired, knowing that you had a better sense for time management than he did. You glanced down at your watch, only briefly, and cocked your head. "Enough." You said, your body jumping a little as you felt his hands coil delicately around your hips.

The two of you leaned in, meeting in the middle in a collision of your lips, your hands tugging softly at his natural curls as you melted with satisfaction against one another. It was a slow exchange, full of passion and desire, and you wished it would last longer, however the alarm on your watch alerted you with a beckoning siren, causing you to defiantly pull away and huff lightly. "You have five minutes until you have to go on." You informed him, humming as Luke stroked your cheek.

He wanted nothing more than to lean in and get lost in you, to fall even further than he already had for you. But duty called, and he stood up straight, running his lips against one another as he vowed to never forget the first romantic moment that you shared. "I'll see you after?" Luke asked hopefully, his ocean eyes blazing with a new lease of motivation. Without a doubt you nodded, your hands ensuring that his shirt was done up and brushing down the smooth material to stroke out any creases.

"Of course. And then we could pick up where we left off." Your promise had a giddy expression morphing unto Luke's face, and you watched as he begrudgingly stalked off to meet with the other members of his touring team, excited to view his earth breaking performance from the sidelines. There was never a lyric that you skipped over, although today was different, you were strongly distracted by the leading man, and the before stage moment that you had just shared.

takemealivelh’s masterlist

LUKE

1.what are you doing after this? - 2.is that for me? - 3.she’s friend-zoning you so hard - 4.what are you doing here? - 5.upstairs - 6.what are you saying? - 7.can we talk? 8.we’re not done here yet, okay? 9.what do we do then?

Bruised Knuckles *tw: racism

Don’t hog the blanket

Vinyl Magic

Who would you be today?

1. i bet you look cute *mild smut

sweetheart *smut

are you dating more people? 

midnight city pt 1 *smut

you wanna get high? *smut

you want me to fuck you in your car? *smut

don’t do that

send me more pictures *smut

you win some, you lose some *smut

tidal wave *smut

easier to blame

you want a napkin with that? (part one) *smut - you wanna wait till tonight? (part two) *mild sexual content

stay out of trouble *smut

heart is gonna flatline *smut

- Concepts -

fuck me at a quarter to three + choker

MICHAEL

I Can Tell You A Secret

Raspberry Chocolate Milkshake

One Night Stand Pt. 1One Night Stand Pt. 2 One Night Stand Pt. 3 *smut

ASHTON

You’re in Trouble *smut

I think I adore you

You are a gem

I told you not to fall in love with me

Battle of the Bands Pt. 1 Battle of the Bands Pt. 2 *smut

Señorita

that doesn't mean i don't want you *smut

CALUM

Cat’s got your tongue?

Hummingbird

I really need to see you smile right now

- Concepts -

let’s fucking dance

Diamonds

pausing our regularly scheduled program with a luke hemmings blurb bc i love him and his solo music and i'm sad i couldn't go to any of his shows 😔 i'll get back to harry soon, but i'll take inspo wherever i can rn. enjoy!

"The next one we're gonna play for you is one of the most vulnerable songs I've ever written," Luke said, mouth pressed up against the microphone. The shimmer you helped spread over the lids of his eyes practically glowed under the blue lights that lit the stage. You thought he looked ethereal, the very embodiment of the music he was performing tonight.

"When I was putting together the final tracklist for this album," Luke continued, "I was hesitant to add this song because I was afraid that it was too vulnerable, but I was convinced that it was worth sharing, that the emotions and experiences behind this song would reach those who needed to hear it the most.

"The person who convinced me, and played a crucial part of making this record, is here tonight, and to them, I would just like to say thank you. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't and making me brave enough to truly face my demons. You pulled me out of the deep end when it felt like I was drowning, and I would be a completely different person than I am today without you. I love you. My heart and soul is yours to keep."

Cheers were heard throughout the venue as the opening chords began. As Luke started to sing, you were thankful that you decided to watch the concert from backstage, unable to keep tears from welling in your eyes.

"Cut like diamonds and sink like stones, starve myself 'til I'm skin and bone, I'm so much older than I ever thought I would be."

He said that often. My heart and soul is yours to keep. Yours to keep safe, was what he meant. It had taken him a long time to open up to you and trust your ability to be a good partner, so him saying that his heart was yours was huge. He trusted you that much not to break his heart, to never let him sink back into old habits and bitter thoughts. That level of trust meant everything to you.

In his little speech, Luke thanked you for being the one to convince him to release the song, which was true in a way. He'd been conflicted about the song at first, not ready to share such a dark period of his life so publicly. The song had originally been just a way to express himself, to put everything he'd been through on paper without ever letting it see the light of day.

Luke had shared what the song was about, had opened up to you just what had made him feel that way in the past—toxic relationships, poor decisions that led to even worse habits, hurting the people closest to him, all of his mistakes. He didn't hide any of it from you, and you took all of those misgivings, all of those past mistakes, and showed him that you loved him anyway.

"How far is far? Are we too deep in? How dark is dark? I need to see it."

It wasn't easy at first. When you met, Luke wasn't in a place where he could give himself to anyone emotionally. He believed that he was too damaged to be loved the way he deserved and that he was better off being alone and unhurt than trying to fall in love again and risk being completely ruined by someone he thought he could trust. He had been more closed off than anyone you'd ever met, but all of it just made you want to show him what love without conditions looked like. And he couldn't fathom why. Luke was never rude to you about it. He never snapped at you or pushed you away or treated you badly to make a point, he just truly believed that he wasn't worth your time.

*.*

You were at his house, hanging out as friends. Only this time you surprised him by bringing him flowers.

Luke had been completely dumbfounded, unsure of your intentions. You told him it was just to brighten up his home a little, and because you liked doing nice things for the people you cared about. He didn't question you much further, but the rest of the time you were together, you caught him staring at the bouquet that stood in the vase you'd placed them in. His gaze had been wary and apprehensive each time, and you finally told him the truth.

"I want to take you on a date," you said simply.

Luke seemed surprised, which led to a conversation that was perhaps a step below an argument, but only because you calmly listened to Luke and evaded his tactics to push you away with ease.

"I—I don't deserve you," he finally said, but his voice was heavy with emotion, like he desperately didn't want it to be true.

"Who decides what we do and don't deserve, Luke?" you said to him, resting your hand over his and rubbing your thumb over his knuckles gently. To your surprise, he didn't pull away.

"I'm not good enough for you," he amended.

With a close-lipped smile, you leaned over from your spot on his couch and placed your thumb between his brows, smoothing the furrow there. "I think you think you're a worse person than you are."

You kissed his brow, your touch just enough for him to feel your lips brush his skin. When you pulled back, you tapped his nose with your knuckle. "I won't push you, and I won't try to fix you," you said, because the truth was, you didn't believe he needed fixing. But you knew you weren't going to be able to convince him of that. Not now, anyway. "But I will tell you this: you are a remarkable person, and when you're ready, I'd love to love you one day."

*.*

"I'm on my way out, losing the dream. I feel it crash down, down on me. Caught in the madness, holding on me. Is this the way it will always be?"

It took some time, but Luke eventually believed what you did from the day you met him. You were there to see him through the thick of it, holding his hand when he needed you to and giving him space when he asked. He'd gone off to write for a little while, and when he came back, you could practically see the weight lift from his shoulders. It was as if he'd left his biggest demons at the cabin he'd been staying in.

And now he was at his own solo concert performing the songs that held the deepest secrets of his heart. Luke sang each word with passion and pride, the kind that came from knowing that he'd overcome the darkness that had held him for so long. He wasn't drowning anymore, but he sang his songs so that his fans could see that it was possible to be in a dark place and come out of it.

The song faded to its end, and Luke bowed before the crowd as they cheered. He held his hands together in front of his face, the appreciation written in his features abundantly clear. You watched him survey the crowd with so much pride you thought you were going to burst, but you ended up just shedding a couple more tears instead.

While fans were still cheering and his band was playing chords that would lead into the next song, Luke jogged to the side of the stage where you were standing. You hadn't expected him to come over to you, but when you saw his face, you knew what he needed.

Your arms opened for him just in time as he wrapped himself around you. He held onto you tight, his face buried in your hair as he lifted you off the ground. You held on just as fiercely, hoping it would sufficiently express just how much you loved him.

Time stopped as Luke held you in his arms. He had a whole crowd waiting for him to sing the next song, but neither of you seemed worried about getting him back onstage. When he finally set you back down, you kissed his cheek a couple times before kissing him properly, your hands on either side of his face.

"Okay, okay, no more of that," you said, when he kept trying to follow your lips as you pulled away from him, wanting just one more kiss. "There'll be plenty of time for that later. Now go. Everyone's waiting for you."

Luke began to turn like he was going to do just as you said, but before he walked away, he spun on his heel and caught you in one last kiss. Satisfied by your tinged cheeks, he grinned and kissed your cheek. "Mean the world to me, darlin.'"

Hearing him say that made you melt every single time, and he knew that. Shoving his shoulder playfully toward the stage, you said, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Now go be a rockstar, will you? You're keeping everyone waiting. Myself included."

Luke finally turned around for real and did just that.

staged romance | luke hemmings x actress!reader

summary: when you get the role of a lifetime, luke struggles to support you when he finds out who your scripted love interest is 

word count: 10.8k

warnings: misogyny, arguments, drinking, jealousy, swearing, mentions of cheating, angst

author’s note: the title of the movie/book and the show were smth i made up on the fly so it’s not to be affiliated w other books/movies that are called that lol, it’s all a coincidence. this is also not proofread!

second author's note: the last bit was rushed in the end but let me be clear! my intent was to portray a loving realistic relationship with healthy communication of feelings and borders. of course, things like that are tough to convey in a one-shot alone. talks of jealousy and cheating is heavily mentioned throughout the text, but it is not my intent to make luke appear toxic or y/n seem unfaithful. the two are in a healthy relationship that gets plagued by jealousy, insecurities, and stupid social media! i, in no way, shape, or form, condone toxic relationships and try my best to let that show in my writing. please consult a trusted loved one if you are experiencing a toxic relationship. i love yall and hope the best!

happy reading lovelies <3

“I’m sure you boys are incredibly busy now more than ever,” the interviewer said, referring to the band’s many new surprises in store. “I can’t help but wonder what you guys are most excited about.”

Luke was nodding along to the woman, barely paying attention and silently hoping for the interview to end faster. Ashton had always teased Luke for having a blank stare during these interviews and the fans have caught on, too, but he couldn’t help being bored talking about the same things over and over again. 

“So busy,” Michael agreed, taking the reins on the question. “We’ve got new music coming out, we’ve been working nonstop to release them and film music videos, too. Not to mention our tour coming up in a couple of months. But to speak for the boys, I think we’re all pretty excited to have our music featured in a movie.” 

Ashton was quick to chime in. “Yeah, we’ve worked real hard on this one, we were in the studio for hours trying to perfect it and we hope we did the movie justice.” 

The interviewer shifted through her binder of notes and questions. “It’s safe to say everyone is stoked to hear it in theaters,” she concluded. “But the question that’s been on everyone’s minds is, Luke, how do you feel about writing a song for a movie your girlfriend is the face of? Could you walk us through that process?” 

Calum quietly nudged Luke in the side, bringing his attention to the woman sitting before them. “Oh yeah,” Luke coughed, readjusting his posture in his chair. “I’m super excited to help bring this story to life, it’s been a real journey to go through the entire process of it all. I’m especially proud of y/n for getting the lead role, it’s been a dream of hers to get this far and I’m so lucky to have her in my life and watch her grow as an actress.” 

“Aw,” Ashton leaned into his mic, making the boys laugh. “So cute.” 

“Very cute,” Luke retorted with a small smile. “She’s great and definitely deserves this role; she’s worked so hard on it and it really shows on the screen. As for the music, I agree with Ash when he said we worked our asses off on it. y/n definitely put in a lot of input on this one, not actually, but she was a great inspiration throughout the writing and producing process.”

Michael grinned at his friend, picking up his mic. “He’s downplaying it,” he quipped. “When the producer reached out to us to write something up for the movie, Luke was really into it. I mean reading through the tidbit that the producer sent us, rereading the book the movie was based on, all of it. Out of the four of us, Luke was really the one who took the wheel on this project and y/n was a big part of the reason why.” 

Luke turned red at Michael’s explanation, but it was true. He was ecstatic to hear they wanted 5 Seconds of Summer to add to their soundtrack, and he was even more excited to hear it was for the very movie you just received the lead role for. You both found out the news on the same day and were over the moon excited. 

“I got the part!” you yelled, running down the hall to Luke’s office with Petunia following close behind you. “Babe! I got the part-”

Luke swung the door open, a look of disbelief on his face. “They want us to write a song for the movie,” he announced. 

Your eyes were wide at his news. In an instant, you jumped into his arms and he caught you, spinning you around as you both let out shouts of joy. Luke peppered kisses down your face and neck, anywhere he could reach, in pride. 

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he told you earnestly. “I’m so so proud of you. You earned this!” 

“We earned this,” you corrected him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling into a kiss.

“Guilty,” Luke sheepishly admitted to the interviewer. “I love my girl, what can I say?”

The woman let out a chuckle before getting back into the interview. “All the fans are happy to hear that,” she told him. “Last question and it’s for Luke again;  so Michael said that you read the book for “What Lies Between Us,” and so you probably know that there are a couple explicit scenes in there, particularly between the lead and her love interest, played by Harry Styles. We all are very aware of your past with One Direction, having toured with them and gaining your fame through the tours. How do you feel about your girlfriend and friend coming together for these intimate scenes?” 

The boys “oohed” immaturely as Luke blushed, shaking his head. You had already told him there would be scenes like that in the movie, not because he was jealous or would prevent you from doing them, but just to be open with him. After a discussion, the both of you were on the same page about the scenes, agreeing that it’s just work and holds no value offset. 

“Yeah, n/n told me about them,” Luke chuckled, taking a sip of water. “And I don’t have anything to say about them. y/n is a great actress and so is Harry. They’re respectable workers and take their job seriously. I trust them both, not that that matters.” 

“Well said,” the interviewer applauded. “So even beyond the explicit scenes, do you mind that they will be portraying lovers throughout the film?” 

Luke set his water on the ground. “I mean, who doesn’t love Harry Styles, he’s handsome,” he joked playfully. Luke’s crystal blue eyes stared deeply into the camera. “No, I don’t mind at all. It’s all for the movie. Styles may have my girl in the morning and afternoons, but at night she’s mine to hold to sleep.” 

–

Luke entered the bedroom, sighing loudly as he hunched over to throw off his shirt. You had been laying there waiting for his arrival home, reading over your agenda and going over your lines in your pajamas under the covers. Petunia was sleeping soundly at the foot of your bed, unbothered by his usual antics. 

“You’re home late,” you mused, setting your pen down. “Everything okay, bub?” 

Luke moaned and groaned while kicking off his dress pants and replacing them with his more comfortable pair of sweatpants, eventually falling face down onto the bed. You giggled at his dramatics, your hand going to play through his blond curls. He relaxed at your touch as he reached for your hand and kissed it softly. 

“Do you think Harry is more handsome than me?” he asked, eyes peering up at yours. 

You raised your eyebrows curiously. “Do you want the answer of a 1D fan since high school or the answer of your loving girlfriend?” you joked. You and Luke both knew how deep your love for One Direction was as a teenager. He loved to tease you about your posters and t-shirts, not to mention the Harry Styles cardboard cutout you received as a birthday present one year.

Luke let out another grumble as he rolled onto his back. You scooted forward to rest his head on your lap. “Both,” he decided. 

You hummed, resuming your twirling of Luke’s hair. “Well as your girlfriend,” you began. “I think you are the most handsome man to ever walk this planet.” 

“And the 1D fan?” he begrudgingly asked.

You took your finger and softly traced along the bridge of his nose, trailing down to his jawline. “I think Harry Styles is very very handsome,” you answered. Watching Luke scrunch his nose in childish jealousy, you leaned in closer. “But I think the lead vocalist of the band that opened for One Direction was way better looking, sweeter, and all around so much better,” you whispered as though you were letting him in on a secret. 

Luke pushed you away, sighing loudly once again as you threw your head back in laughter. “That’s the girlfriend speaking!” he whined. 

“We’re one and the same, Lu,” you scolded playfully, reaching for your boyfriend. “Just because my seventeen year old self was too obsessed with Harry doesn’t mean I don’t love you and find you all the more attractive now.” 

Luke let out an unconvincing huff, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What’s gotten into you, bub?” you asked, concern taking over your curiosity. 

“The interview was all about you and the movie today,” he responded, tucking himself into bed and taking his spot beside you, nestled warmly in your chest. 

You snorted, resting your hand back into his hair. Not only were his curls extremely soft at the touch and soothing to play with, you knew -while he would never admit it aloud- Luke loved when you played with his hair. “Didn’t realize I was a tough topic to talk about,” you jested. 

Luke rolled over so he was practically laying half of his body on yours. “Nooo,” he said, voice muffled by your shirt. “You know I love to talk about you, baby. It’s just I got a question about you and Harry being love interests.” 

You stiffened, clearly caught off guard. “Oh,” you could only muster out. 

The musician nodded, burying himself into your chest and wrapping his arms around your waist. “People can be so annoying sometimes,” he huffed in frustration. “Why would I care if my girlfriend is playing Harry Styles’ love interest? It’s not like it changes anything between us or between me and Harry.”

“It’s because people are misogynistic and gross,” you explained with an equally upset frown. “Just because I’m a woman in the film industry, they think I’m going to fling myself at any man I act with. It was the same for my last movie. I don’t understand why people are so quick to judge and point fingers.” 

Luke lifted his chin and cupped your cheek affectionately. “I’m so sorry this is what you have to deal with everyday,” he apologized. “It’s bullshit, and I’ve made it crystal clear that you should be respected and valued for your work, not who you kiss or whatever on the screens.” 

“You can always shut down the questions if they ask you,” you reminded him. “You don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable.”

Luke bit his lip in thought, a habit you found adorable and mesmerizing to watch. “But I’d rather answer these questions and stop the narrative about actresses and showmances. It’s not fair for you guys to be scrutinized about your love lives and image while male actors never get those kinds of questions.” 

Your lips trembled in awe of Luke’s small rant. You had never felt so loved and appreciated by the man like you did right now. He was ever a gentleman in a world of childish boys. “You know I love you, right?” you asked him with a tearful smile. 

Luke raised his thumb to the corner of your eyes to wipe away a stray tear. “It’s the bare minimum to support my girl,” he told you. “I love you, too, baby.”

Settling back down under the covers with your lover, you rested your head on top of his. “You don’t have to worry about me and Harry,” you reassured him. “It’s strictly business between us, and he’s aware of that.” 

“I’m not worried,” Luke said, his eyes fluttering closed. “Get some sleep, love. You got an early morning ahead of you.” 

–

The next morning, you woke up refreshed with your boyfriend still fast asleep beside you. You smiled to yourself, taking a mental image of the singer nestled beside you. His arm was snug around your waist and his nose was buried in your chest, a normal routine you’ve found the both of you falling into when he was home from tours. What you hated the most was ending said routine when you had to wake up before him for filming. 

You slowly removed his arm and slid out from under the sheets, trying to not wake him. Of course, ever the heavy sleeper, Luke remained asleep, taking one of your pillows as an adequate replacement for you. You quietly began your morning routine of brewing coffee for yourself, brushing your teeth, and styling your hair. Petunia followed behind you, being the momma’s girl she was. You let her go outside as you got started on preparing breakfast. Normally, you’d make breakfast and coffee for two but you were called for an earlier shoot, barely before sunrise, so Luke would no doubt be asleep for a while.

Finished with breakfast and giving Petunia her required pets and kisses, you went back upstairs to get dressed for the day. You thought you had been relatively quiet, but nonetheless the singer woke up to you, half dressed, on the other side of the room.

“What a sight for sore eyes,” his raspy voice praised.

You turned your head around as you slipped on a pair of pants, rolling your eyes at him. “You should be asleep,” you scolded lightly. 

“And you should still be in bed with me,” he reprimanded in the same tone. Luke lazily reached across the bed for you, only short by a few inches. 

“I have to be in for an early shoot,” you reminded him. “You know I’d be asleep right beside you if I had the choice.” 

Luke groaned, making you laugh as you ruffled his hair similar to how you’d pet Petunia. “Why can’t you call out?” he whined like a toddler. 

You kissed his forehead and set for the door. “If I did, I’d be out of a job,” you told him. “Then who would Harry kiss on camera?”

“Not funny!” Luke yelled out as you grabbed the rest of your things and left your home. 

“Love you!” you shouted back, closing the door behind you. 

Luke rolled over back to his side, grabbing his phone and absentmindedly scrolled through Twitter. He figured that since he was already awake, he might as well look through his notifications before formally getting up. 

On Twitter, he realized in the bottom of his screen that he received thousands of tagged mentions. Curious, he clicked on the icon to see multiple photos of you and Harry outside the studio. You two were snuggled under a blanket, far too close for his liking. The smile on your face was one Luke was familiar with because it was the look you always gave him. Jealousy burned in his chest before he realized it. 

outofstyles: harry styles and y/n l/n is a pair we didn’t ask for but ended up needing SEVERELY

stylesupdatesdaily: styles-l/n was NOT on my bingo card this year but i am here for it!!! #styles-l/n #wlbumovie

lukehemmingslipring: why are people shipping harry and y/n when she’s been dating luke since way before the SGFG era??? and why am i fucking with it???

y/nismother: @lukehemmingslipring don’t tell me they broke up because if they did love isn’t real :(

y/nismother: @youngblood__irwin SEND THE LINK PLEASE!!!!!

Luke frowned at the back and forth in the comments, as well as additional tweets he was tagged in regarding the Hemmings vs. Styles drama, a drama he didn’t even knew had begun. Frustration and envy brewed inside him despite his strong attempts to fight the urge. He had promised you he wouldn’t get jealous. Hell, he didn’t expect himself to feel this way. He knew you, of course. And he knew Harry very well. In his right mind, he knew there was nothing behind the photos nor your staged romance. But the damn photos and tweets and people raising the question of the stability of his relationship…anger was clouding his mind and he could barely think straight. 

–

By the time you got to set, you were rushed into hair and makeup. You were used to the fast paced nature of the studio and settled into your routine with ease. As your hair designers twisted and pulled your hair back to prep for your wig, you saw a familiar figure catch your eye. 

“Good morning, darlin’,” Harry greeted with a chaste kiss on your cheek. You snorted at his thick Southern accent he had been practicing all year long. While he had improved significantly, you found that his drastic change from a charming British lad to a cheeky Southern man was still too bizarre to get accustomed to.

“Hello, honey,” you said back in a Chicago accent, remembering to stay still for the dressers to apply your wig. The accent you portrayed was one that your character had, a sharp-tongued divorcee. “Didn’t expect you to come in on time.”

“Love, I’m always on time,” he chuckled, sitting beside you to allow the artists to work their magic. “You’re just cooped up in your trailer doing God knows what with that husband of yours.” 

You laughed, eyes shut as your dear friend and makeup artist Alisha applied eyeshadow. “Not my husband,” you corrected him. 

“Well you’ve been dating him long enough for him to might as well be,” he joked. “You seriously mean to tell me Hemmings hasn’t put a ring on your finger?” You nodded as much as you could, considering Alisha was very adamant on perfecting your concealer under your eyes. “Well, he’s got to get a move on before I make a move myself.”

The two of you laughed, knowing the banter was light and all jokes. “Careful now, sweetheart,” you said, reverting back to your Chicago accent. “Mr. Hemmings might get a little jealous.” 

“Can’t have that now, can we?” he drawled, back in his Southern accent. “But you make such a pretty little wife on screen, how can I resist?” 

“You tease!” you exclaimed, clutching your heart and remaining in character. “Mr. McClantire, you know I’m a faithful woman.” 

Finished with his makeup, Harry stood up and readjusted his suit jacket. “Mrs. Abernathy, a lady like you should be cherished,” he explained, taking your hand and brushing his lips against his lightly. “I’ll meet you on set.” 

You chuckled, taking your hand back to fix your hat your stylist had expertly pinned to your head. “I’ll see you then, Mr. McClantire.” 

Leaving you be, Harry left the dressing room and gently closed the door. Alisha clicked her tongue at the British singer turned actor, shaking her head. “Always a tease, isn’t he,” she hummed, applying hair spray liberally. “He better watch himself or the media will end up in a frenzy with his flirtatious attitude.” 

“He’s a sweetheart, I know he means no harm,” you defended him, sipping your tea serenely. “I do believe he’s been seeing someone though so I know there’s no weight to his words. But I do admit his habits are going to make Twitter go crazy. Luke has already gotten wind of some of the news and gossip.” 

Alisha rested her hand on her hip, lips pursed in thought. “Only a matter of time before he gets jealous,” she mused playfully. 

“He won’t,” you said back, not expecting Alisha’s warning.

“Oh honey,” she shook her head. “You know men, they’ll get jealous.” 

–

Luke looked at the TV through the mirror reflection in his dressing room as he adjusted his dress shirt’s sleeves. Nearly a while had passed since the finish of filming and it was a matter of days until the movie’s premiere. Your schedule consisted of plenty of interviews and promo events which resulted in more drama tabloids being released about you and Harry. A scowl rested on his

and Harry on the screen talking with the host of the show. You were animatedly telling a story while Harry’s arm rested behind you. Albeit casual, Luke couldn’t help but glare at the gesture. 

“If looks could kill, he’d be dead,” Ashton mused from behind the blond singer. 

Luke brushed off his comment, turning away from the vanity. “I just wish he’d keep his bloody hands off her,” he muttered enviously. 

Calum was distractedly scrolling through his phone on the couch, no doubt bored, waiting for their cue to get on stage. “And sit fifty miles away from her?” he suggested plainly, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Mate, they’re friends, of course they’re going to sit beside each other.” 

“But with his arm around her?” Luke pressed impatiently, fighting the urge to run his fingers through his hair. You reminded him constantly before arriving at the studio to not touch his hair. You’d worked so hard to style and gel it while he focused on his makeup. The blond settled for crossing his arms on his chest and tapping his foot. 

“Yeah,” Michael agreed with Luke. “He should cut it off,” he joked, dodging Luke’s swat of his hand. 

Ashton patted Luke’s shoulder, setting him down on the couch. “Calm down, Luke,” he instructed. “Take some deep breaths or else you’ll pop a vein. I understand how annoying publicists have been with Harry and n/n, but you shouldn’t let them get to you.” 

“How can I when they talk about my girl?” Luke seethed, his composure rigid. “They talk about her like she’s a fame chaser, going after Harry for publicity even though she’s been practically an A-lister since she was a kid.” Luke shuffled in his seat, frown permanently on his face. 

“Then I hardly see how Harry’s got anything to do with it,” Calum raised an eyebrow. 

Luke stood up from the couch as quickly as he had sat down. “Because he’s–he’s–” Luke stumbled over his words. Finding no reasonable excuse, he angrily kicked his foot against the table only to yelp in pain, clutching his foot and jumping up and down. “That fucking pretty boy.” 

Michael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can’t really give into those gossip tablets, can you?” he genuinely asked. 

Luke paused, long enough for the boys to shake their heads in disappointment. “It’s the hair!” he lamely blamed, throwing his hands in the air. 

The boys’ conversation was interrupted by a set assistant, knocking on the door while opening it. “Five minutes till your performance,” the boy squeaked. 

Ashton was the one to speak up for the group. “Thanks, Roberto,” he said gratefully. The moment the boy left, Ashton turned to the boys. “We’re going to discuss this more later after the show. Luke, please be civil with Harry.” 

“Says the one who fucked his sis-”

“None of that now,” Ashton cut Michael off, not wanting to rehash his past. “Now let’s get on stage before they have our heads.” 

The boys made their way down to the set, hiding discreetly behind the curtains. A frenzy of assistants scurried by, ensuring that the boys had their instruments and everything was perfect before they got on stage. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Five Seconds of Summer!” 

The stage manager nodded at the cue, ushering the boys through the entrance. Luke was the first to walk through, waving at the audience and smiling at fans screaming in the back. They got settled on the side stage, instruments in tow as they turned to the host of the night. 

“Thank you for having us, Jimmy,” Luke spoke into the mic, trying not to wince at the squealing girls in the crowd. His eyes were trained on you, who had stood up and clapped for the band as they came in. You were now seated, eyes sparkling in excitement. 

Jimmy Fallon leaned back in his chair. “We’re glad to have you, Luke,” he responded. “Hope the dressing room wasn’t too snug for your guys?”

“Oh no Jimmy, we quite enjoyed it,” Ashton answered from behind his kit. “Reminds me of the good old days when we’d share Luke’s bedroom to change before filming our performances on YouTube.” 

The crowd laughed at Ashton’s quip, Jimmy especially as he shook his head in laughter. “Good to hear,” he said. “And what do you guys have for us today?” 

Michael was next to take the lead. “Well initially we thought we were going to perform our song for What Lies Between Us,” he began, followed by more applause and cheering. “But we thought it would be better to leave that for the premiere.” 

“Correction: our publicist thought it would be better,” Calum joked, however there was no fabrication behind it; their publicist did think it would be best.

“So we decided to play a song from our album that’s yet to come out,” Michael finished. “Jimmy, this is “Bad Omens.”” 

The crowd loved the song as much as you did, finding that song to be one of your favorites of the album. Upon finishing the song, the boys set down their instruments for the backstage staff to collect and made their way to the couches. 

You and Harry stood up to greet each of them, Harry with a handshake and you with a kiss on the cheek. Luke took your hand, kissing you brightly on the lips before sitting down beside you. Jimmy made a cheeky face, teasingly looking at you and your boyfriend. The crowd chuckled at his behavior and you did the same while Luke kept his hand possessively on your knee.

“Well this is a new development,” Jimmy mused, folding his hands on top of his desk. 

You waved off his comment with an airy giggle. “Oh this?” you asked, gesturing between you and Luke. “Old as time.” 

“We’ve actually been together for what, a little over ten years now?” Luke explained, glancing over at you with a proud smile. He relished the feeling of the crowd clapping and whooping at your relationship. 

Jimmy whistled at Luke’s comment. “And no ring on the finger?” he pressed. “I mean, you’ve had to have thought about it before?” 

You nodded reassuringly. “Oh a million times,” you responded. “But God knows that when you deal with one of these boys, you have to deal with all of them.” You jabbed your thumb at the three boys to the left of you, shoving their lanky arms against each other as they tried to get comfortable on their seats. Luke cleared his throat to get their attention, the boys flushed in the face as they quit their quarreling. “I’ve known them since they went on tour with One Direction and we finally ended up dating afterwards. But now, I’m ready to get married and settle down. I’m just waiting on Hemmings, here.” 

Luke chuckled at your last comment, seemingly taking them lightly. You furrowed your eyebrows at his reaction, but decided not to act upon it. “She’s very much so anticipating that question, Jimmy,” he confessed. “It’s only a matter of time, but I’m in no hurry. This one, however…” he trailed off, grinning at you.

“A girl has dreams,” you defended yourself. 

Jimmy snapped his fingers at your words, a thought coming back to him. “Yes, you certainly do!” he exclaimed, reaching under his desk for a frame as he changed the subject. Confusion and hurt brewed inside you, but you quickly pushed those feelings down. “y/n, you’re not a stranger to dreams, right?”

“Oh, definitely not,” you agreed with a dubious expression on your face. 

“So I hope you don’t mind when I show a little memento from the past your mother sent over.”

“Oh God,” you groaned, turning to hide your face in Luke’s shoulder. “What did she send over now? I told you to lose her number, Jimmy.” 

Jimmy raised his hands up in surrender. “She makes a great lunch partner,” he defended himself. “y/m/n, if you’re watching tonight, we’re still on for Tuesday?” You rolled your eyes as Harry threw his head back in laughter. “Joking, joking, not really, but-” 

“Jimmy,” you said in a warning tone. 

“Alright, alright,” he relented. “Anyways, your mother found a letter you wrote back when you were in middle school to the tooth fairy-”

Michael choked on his own saliva, jerking forward. “n/n, you still believed in the tooth fairy when you were in middle school-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Clifford,” you clipped back through your teeth as you smiled rigidly. You still had one last baby tooth in at the time, you still had your hopes out for the mythical creature.

Jimmy raised his hand to cut off the side chatter as he read from the framed letter. “And you, at age thirteen, had one dream that you wished the tooth fairy would grant you.” 

“Dear Tooth Fairy,” he read aloud as you crumbled in embarrassment. “I have finally lost my last tooth, so I guess this will be the last letter I can send you.”

“Aww,” the boys gushed in unison, causing you to shoot them an icy glare. 

“To end this amazing tooth filled saga, I have one last wish. You see, it’s been my dream to meet One Direction.” 

“Jimmy!” you screamed, covering your face in humiliation as the memories started to flood in. Luke covered you in his arms as you folded over yourself, laughing along but equally curious about what was in the letter.

Jimmy, nonetheless, continued reading. “And I have a favorite singer in the band. If you could pull some strings and make Harry Styles my boyfriend, I swear to you I’ll write a letter to you everyday -even though I have no more teeth to give you- and will solemnly swear to be your best friend forever. Let him be my boyfriend, pleaseeeeee.” The audience let out a boisterous laughter as Jimmy emphasized your silly, childish writing. “Love, y/n.” 

More clapping filled your ears as you raised your head to face Jimmy. In the corner of your eye, you saw Harry resting casually beside you, facing you as he leaned against the couch. 

“I’m flattered,” Harry told you, an amused smile resting on his lips.

You pressed your lips in a straight line. “Thanks, Har,” you deadpanned. 

He patted your shoulder in a friendly manner. “No, it’s real sweet,” he reassured you. “Truly, cute, even.” 

“That’s not all we have,” Jimmy spoke up as he put away your framed letter. He waved off your groans and complaints. “It’s not bad, not bad. I’m sure you all remember the Golden Globes back in 2012 when y/n made her first appearance in the hit TV show, The Last Elites of Cardenia.” 

The crowd cheered as a photo of you as a child appeared on the screen. It was a shot of you in the show, dressed up in your furs and pearls as per your character, Cecilia. The next photo was of you on the red carpet with your show family. Your braces were highly visible in your smile, making you wince at the rough photo. 

“I loved that show,” Ashton sighed, full of nostalgia. “Cal, Michael, and I would binge that show every night after concerts.” 

“You didn’t watch it, Luke?” Jimmy asked curiously.

Luke sheepishly shook his head. “No, I didn’t,” he answered honestly. 

“I’m offended, babe,” you teased, your hand over your heart in mock offense.

Michael snorted. “It’s not like he didn’t like the show,” he told you. “He just could barely follow the storyline whenever you popped up on screen.” 

The boys gave Luke playful punches as he blushed. “I-I couldn’t help it!” he exclaimed. “You were just so cute on screen, you were my celebrity crush for the longest time. I mean you were a right entitled bitch in the show but meeting you in real life, I just was-“

“So down bad,” Ashton finished for him. Luke was about to correct him but you were quick to cut him off. 

“Baby,” you cooed, pinching his cheek. 

Jimmy laughed along with the conversation, pointing towards the screen as he spoke. “Speaking of celebrity crushes,” he continued. “We have this old footage of you on the red carpet answering some questions.” 

The day was bright as you appeared on the screen. A youthful innocence covered your entire self, from the way you gathered yourself to your voice. A woman was behind the camera, only her hand holding the microphone could be seen.

“And who might you be?” the woman asked you. 

You smiled brightly. “I’m y/n!” you chirped. “y/n l/n but most people know me as Cecilia from The Last Elites of Cardenia.”

“Nice to meet you, y/n, I’m Mei,” the woman greeted, shaking your hand. “This is your first time here at the Golden Globes, how are you feeling?” 

“Oh, I’m sooo excited, Mei,” you answered honestly and giddily. You could hardly stand still. “My mom picked my outfit today so I’m feeling very confident and pretty!”

“And who do you want to see most today?” 

You cocked your head in thought. “Harry Styles!” you exclaimed. “I heard One Direction’s going to be at the after party, so I really hope to see him. He’s my biggest celebrity crush,” you gushed unabashedly.

The clip ended and everyone turned to you, where you were frozen and wide-eyed.

“Where the hell do you find this stuff, Jimmy,” you sighed, face palming annoyedly. 

“Oh, the vault, you know,” Jimmy responded cheekily. “But that leaves us wondering how you feel now, starring alongside your celebrity crush in the film “What Lies Between Us?”” 

You tapped your chin. Harry glanced over at you. “Be honest, darling,” he reminded you in a sing-songy voice. 

“Well I can definitely say that my teenage self is absolutely losing her mind,” you answered. “It’s something out of a dream, if you think about it. I mean, I never knew I’d come far enough to star in a highly anticipated movie, nevertheless star alongside Harry. It’s a blessing, surely, but now, I think that fangirl side of me has been laid to rest.” 

Jimmy turned to your boyfriend. “And what do you think, Luke?” 

The musician gave the host a close lipped smile. “Whatever makes n/n happy,” he settled brusquely.

Jimmy, satisfied with his response, began asking questions for the other boys about touring and their music. You whipped your head around and raised an eyebrow at Luke for his short response, but Luke didn’t make eye contact with you. Concerned, you reached for his hand on his knee but he pulled back, folding his hands together. Never had you felt more confused and isolated than you did at that moment. You used to be able to read his mind, but now it felt like he’d closed his mind in walls you couldn’t seem to get past. 

–

“What was that about?” you demanded, following closely behind Luke as you walked into your shared home. 

After that awkward end to the show with Jimmy Fallon, you, Harry, and the boys went out to dinner. You thought that moment with Luke was just a one-off thing, but he remained in his rigid composure for the rest of the night. The boys would talk boisterously throughout the dinner, sharing stories of the past tours with One Direction and catching up on life afterwards. But Luke was the only one who remained silent, opting to focus on his glass of red wine he never seemed to finish. You made attempts to speak to Luke, nudging him or trying to meet his eyes from across the table but he refused to look up the entire time. Frustrated, you let it be but it was clear you were upset to the rest of the table. Harry had even pulled you aside after you all paid for your meals, asking if things were alright and if he had overstepped at all. You reassured him he did nothing wrong, it was Luke who was being childish at the moment.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he brushed you off, heading upstairs to your bedroom. He removed his suit jacket and started unbuttoning his dress shirt nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong or pissed you off. 

You entered the bedroom, heels kicked off as you crossed your arms on your chest. “Let me refresh your mind,” you spat. “You’ve been nothing but rotten towards Harry and I tonight. What’s gotten into you? I thought you said you wouldn’t get jealous-”

“And I’m not,” Luke fought back. “God, you can be so conceited sometimes, y/n.” 

“So that’s what it is?” you snapped back. “I’m just being self-centered and your head isn’t stuck up your ass?” 

Luke aggressively pulled his sleeves up, leaving half of his buttons undone while placing his hands on his hips. “Yes, it would appear so,” he answered shortly. “You’re overthinking what’s going on, y/n, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Do not gaslight me, Luke Hemmings,” you ordered, walking up to him to stand chest to chest. “I know your mother taught you enough for you to know that is not the way to go when arguing with me.” Luke huffed, giving in on that one statement because you were right; he did know better.

“Fine,” he muttered. “I am upset. And I have every reason to. I don’t like how close you and Harry have gotten, okay?”

Your jaw dropped in utter shock. “You mean my coworker?” you clarified sarcastically. “I’d hope I’d be close with him considering we’re playing lovers in the damn movie-” 

“There you go again!” Luke’s voice boomed across the room, throwing his hands in the air. “You and Harry being lovers. Sometimes I’m led to believe it’s more than for the movie with the photos I’ve seen and the mere way you act with him.” 

“Luke, I have no idea what to tell you,” you fumed. “We are acting. I have no romantic feelings for him and he has none for me. He’s seeing someone, for crying out loud! I thought you had enough trust in me to know nothing is going on between me and him.” 

“I do trust you,” he argued. “But you couldn’t possibly look me dead in the eye and tell me you didn’t have romantic feelings at all during filming. You have been crushing on him for far too long for that to just go away.” 

You hesitated, your face burning with frustration and humiliation. You hated to admit there was some truth to his statement. “I-I,” you stumbled over your words.

Luke’s nostrils flared as he glared at you, proving his point exactly. You threw your hands in the air. “He was a celebrity crush from when I was a teenager, Luke!” you shouted exasperatedly. “I had a little crush, that was it! And maybe it resurfaced a little at the beginning but I swear to you I don’t have those feelings anymore. It was a childish crush, Luke, you’ve got to believe me when I say that. I love you.” 

Tears lined both of your eyes as you went to reach for his hand. Your thumb grazed his ring, the one you bought for him for your first anniversary. “I really don’t know,” Luke whispered, slowly pulling his hand away.

Your heart shattered at his words, falling to the ground you stood on. You had dedicated ten years of your life to this man, ten of the best years of your life to him. You grew up with him, made the best and worst mistakes of your lives, and survived all of that together. He was your person, your lover, your one being that you’d lay down your life for. Yet, the moment your relationship is tested, he falters. But you couldn’t blame him. One little crush resurfacing, and that managed to wipe out everything you ever created for yourself over the past decade.

You took a deep breath, fighting the urge to fall over and sob on the ground. Your hands opened and closed into fists as you took a step back. “Fine,” you said, shaky and uncertain. Luke almost caved at your voice, the mere way you spoke. You had always carried yourself with dignity and confidence. He was the one who stripped you of that, and you were just a shell of who you once were. 

“I think I’m going to spend the night at Crys’s,” you told him, walking over to your closet and pulling out a bag. “It’s clear we both need space and time apart.” 

Luke shook his head, taking your wrist. “Don’t do that,” he said. “Your premiere is in two days, you’re going to be worn out and exhausted if you don’t sleep right. I’ll head over to Cal’s and you can stay here.” 

Taking back your wrist, you continued to pack your things. “It’s your house, Luke,” you reminded him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay spending the night with Crys and Michael.” 

“Don’t bother them,” Luke insisted. “They’ve been busy building the nursery for when they plan on trying for a baby and-” 

You winced at his words. He didn’t understand how much he hurt you with them, where he was only looking out for their sake and not yours. Realizing the deeper meaning behind his words, Luke tried to correct himself when you just raised your hand to stop him. He had said enough for the night, and so had you. 

“I’ll find a hotel,” you finally decided. Luke was silent, heart aching and yearning for you, but too frozen to speak up and do anything about it. Finished packing, you zipped up your bag and turned back to him. “Goodnight, Lukey,” you said, kissing him on the cheek before leaving the house entirely. 

Driving down the streets of L.A. you managed to find a small hotel on the side of the road that looked safe enough to spend the night. Carrying your bag, you pathetically entered the hotel in your dress from the late night show and a pair of flat shoes you slipped on before leaving. Your hair was no doubt a mess, no longer styled to perfection as Alisha once had it. Your mascara was probably running down your face, too. God, you looked like a mess in front of this poor worker. 

The boy lifted his eyes to meet yours, slowly recognizing who you were but deciding to not speak on it. You looked like you had gone through enough tonight. “Room for one?” he asked you. You wordlessly nodded, rummaging through your bag to find your wallet for ID and your card. Handing them to the worker, you kept your gaze on your bag. In the process, you found your phone and checked your notifications. 

Lukey &lt;;3: please let me know when you arrive safely

You: im here now

Lukey &lt;;3: okay, love. use the card i gave you to pay for your room

You: no, it’s fine.

You left the conversation at that, not caring if it were dry. You were exhausted and didn’t want to fight with him anymore. You had no more fight in you to give him. 

The boy behind the desk handed you back your things along with your key card for the night. “Let me know if you need anything at all to improve your stay,” he told you politely. 

You fought the urge to scoff at the boy. Like you could do anything to improve your stay, tonight was hell as it is. But you reminded yourself it wasn’t his fault you were arguing with the love of your life; it was yours. Thanking him quietly, you made your way to your room and tossed your bag on the foot of your bed, tucking yourself in next, still in your evening wear. You didn’t care if you’d ruin your dress or damage your face from leaving your makeup on overnight. It was too much for you to deal with right now. 

Lukey &lt;;3: goodnight, y/n

read 2:43 am

–

The next two days were utter torture for Luke. He kept contact with you through it all, ensuring that you had eaten, slept, etc. but that was all you’d tell him. Luke couldn’t decide whether or not he was grateful for your shortness with your words, if it would make him cave and go to you and forget everything or make him more upset. He was grateful he had your location still on his phone, and you had his. At least he could check on you and make sure you were alright and not in any trouble. 

Luke was also guilty of checking if you had gone to Harry’s house. Guilt and upset rumbled in his stomach, as he felt like he crossed a boundary and invaded your privacy. But how could he not be curious about your whereabouts when you had confessed to him you still had some feelings toward Harry? It didn’t matter that you said those feelings came and went. What would happen if you tied the knot and you changed your mind about him? 

Luke had trusted you with his life. He took your word as true most of the time, but now he was unsure. He wasn’t sure where he lied with you now. He loved you still, yes, and he’d still sacrifice his own happiness for you. Perhaps he blew things over proportion between the two of you. You swore you still loved him and no longer felt anything for Harry. But why did Luke still feel something wrong in his chest? 

He still had mixed feelings about your argument on the night of your premiere. Luke was in Ashton’s living room, quietly sipping on a beer as he waited for the rest of the band and their significant others to meet them there to travel to the theater together. 

Ashton slipped on his jacket, entering the room and looking over at his friend. “y/n not joining us tonight, mate?” he asked. He knew what had happened those nights ago. He was the first person Luke called the moment you left, staying on the phone with him until five in the morning. You had even called him later that day to ask for his advice. He was grateful you both thought of him as an older brother figure, and he wanted nothing more than to get you both together to talk through it. 

Luke set his bottle down, not wanting to get drunk on your important night. “No,” he replied with a heaved sigh. “She texted me that she’ll get there on her own because Alisha wanted to do her hair and makeup.”

Ashton sat down beside him, patting his back. “That’s good she’s still talking to you, right?” he brought up, trying to look on the bright side. 

“Only because I made her swear to keep me updated,” he grumbled. “If it weren’t for that, I think she’d block my number.”

“Now that’s not true,” Ashton told him seriously. 

Luke shrugged his shoulders. “I practically told her I didn’t trust her anymore,” he said, ashamed of himself. “But it’s fair, isn’t it? I knew in my stomach that there was something going on between her and Harry.”

“But there wasn’t,” Ashton reminded him. “She said her feelings toward Harry resurfaced, but she didn’t act on them in any way.”

“But what if one day she wakes up and realizes she can do so much better than me?” Luke asked, voice cracking. He didn’t want to think about that, but that’s all his mind would conjure. “Then she’ll leave me for him and I’ll be the idiot that was strung along the whole time.” 

Ashton leaned back on his sofa. “I think you owe y/n more credit than that,” he said. “She loves you, she said so herself. And if she really wanted Harry, she wouldn’t have fought for you like she did.”

“You’re right,” Luke supposed. “I just feel so guilty now.”

“You can talk to her after the premiere,” Ashton settled. “Trust me, she wants to talk to you, too.”

The two were interrupted by Ashton’s door swinging open to reveal the remaining boys and their significant others. Ready to go, Ashton and Luke joined them outside to hop into Michael’s car. 

Luke got settled in the back seat, reaching for his seat belt when Crystal turned around to face him. “How are you holding up, bub?” she asked, a comforting smile on her face.

He grimaced but tilted his head in response. “Definitely could be better,” he said earnestly. “But Ash helped me through it.”

Crystal reached behind her to pat his knee soothingly. “I’m glad,” she said. “y/n’s the same. I stopped by her hotel this morning to catch up on things.”

“And she’s okay?” Luke leaned in, interested in learning anything about your whereabouts and how you’re doing. 

Crystal put on the same expression as Luke. “About the same as you,” she responded. “But don’t worry, everything will work out in the end.” 

Luke braved a smile. “I hope so.”

—

The carpet leading up to the theater was packed with reporters and photographers trying to get a glimpse of the actors featured in the film. The band was far behind, stuck in the traffic of people stopping them to ask a few questions. 

“Boys!” a man called out. “Over here! I’m here with Vanity Fair.”

The boys shared a glance and went up to the man. “My name is Aamir and I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about tonight.”

Michael stood in the front, taking Aamir’s extra microphone. “Let’s hear them!”

“This is the first time your music is being featured in a movie as big as this,” Aamir stated. “How are you all feeling?”

Calum drew in a breath, deciding to take this question. “I mean, how can we feel?” he responded. “It’s a mix of feelings, I can tell you that. I think on behalf of the band, we’re all just really nervous but excited to put out this music for the film. It’s really different from our typical kind of music, but we hope you all love it the same.” 

“I’m sure we’ll all love what you have in store for us,” Aamir said confidently. “Luke, how are you feeling tonight? It’s a big moment for your girlfriend, y/n l/n, as this is her first lead role in a highly anticipated movie. Can you give us an insight on how y/n is feeling and how you both prepared for tonight?”

Luke tried to not let his rigidity and awkwardness show on camera. There was enough dubious press about the two of you after that show with Jimmy Fallon. “I’m sure she’s over the moon about tonight,” he answered, eyes flickering to the camera. “She’s been so excited for this moment and all her hard work has come down to tonight.”

“And how have you prepared together?” Aamir repeated his second question with curiosity as to why Luke didn’t answer in the first place.

Luke bit his lip, trying to answer without showing he was completely unsure. “Well-“

Cheers erupted from the crowd as a limo approached the carpet. Luke thanked God for that distraction because everyone -including himself- turned to see what the commotion was about. 

You stepped outside of the car, dressed in a long white gown that resembled a wedding dress. Luke could only describe you as ethereal as you shyly waved to the photographers and interviewers. He’d never seen you so shy in public, since you’d been in front of the cameras since you were a child. Your eyes were trained on the ground, a shaky smile on your face that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Reporters shouted at you, desperate to get a word or two with you. Dazed by the flashing lights and loud noises, you took a step forward to where the people were blocked by a gate. In your nervous stature, you began to tremble, hands reaching out for stability but struggling to do so. Your ankle gave way, causing you to fall to the ground. People shouted and “ooh’ed” but no one ran in to help you. 

Rushing forward, Luke ran over to you and wrapped his arm securely around your waist as he guided you back up. You gasped, looking up at your savior and realizing who it was. His name was on your lips but no sound could come out; you were too shocked to say anything since you hadn’t formally spoken to him in days.

Luke gave you a reassuring smile, eyes glancing down at your lips to silently ask for permission to kiss you. You nodded, allowing him to cup the side of your face to kiss you softly. The moment your lips met his, you felt yourself get regrounded. Knowing he was by your side, you felt like yourself again: more confident. 

The press ate up yours and Luke’s stunt, taking photos left and right of the two of you. You pulled away, your hand on his chest and feeling his heart beat quickly. “Thank you,” you whispered. Luke gave you a small nod but remained silent as he led you to the reporters. 

A young woman caught your attention, pointing her microphone in your direction. “Are you alright, y/n?” she asked you, camera pointed at you. “I’m Irina with TMZ. We’re happy to see you tonight!”

Nerves began to creep in as you drew a blank at her question. Luke’s hand squeezed your hip comfortingly, providing you with the stability and strength you needed to get through the event. Nodding to yourself, you opened your mouth to answer. 

“I’m doing great, thank you,” you answered. “Just some first premiere nerves but they never killed anyone! I’m just really grateful Luke was here to save me from that little trip there.” 

Irina pointed her microphone at Luke, who was taken aback but spoke nonetheless. “Anything for my girl,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s her big night and I’m her biggest supporter. She’s my rock for concerts, I’m her rock for premieres. We have each other’s backs.”

Your eyes were stuck on Luke, mesmerized by his face and how his eyelids glistened in the light from his eyeshadow, no doubt from the palette you gifted him on his birthday last year. The corners of your lips quirked upwards, a warm and fuzzy feeling growing in your chest as you looked up at him with pride and love. You almost didn’t hear the interviewer’s final question. 

“y/n, it’s been all over social media how you had a long standing crush on your co-lead, Harry Styles,” Irina stated. You felt Luke’s hand tighten around your hip without him realizing, no doubt irritated by that question. “How did it feel to kiss him and perform in intimate scenes with him?” 

As you opened your mouth to respond, Luke cut in. “Respectfully,” he began. “I think y/n’s work goes far beyond who she kissed or who she did what with. She’s been in the film industry for as long as I can remember, and definitely deserves more questions that dive deeper than who she harbors romantic feelings for.” 

The interviewer’s face flushed in embarrassment. “Of course,” she agreed, rushing to apologize. You simply waved her off, politely excusing both yourself and Luke out of the conversation with grace. 

Luke remained by your side as you made your way through the reporters and photographers, staying silent unless asked a question. You thought he wouldn’t look at you from the way his eyes never met yours -except for when he kissed you, of course- but in fact, he had stared at you the entire time you spoke. Nothing but adoration filled his mind when he listened to you speak about the work you worked so hard to make. It made all of your past problems fade to gray, and he nearly forgot about your whole argument. 

Once you entered the theater, you expected Luke to pull away to find the boys but he didn’t. You stopped in your tracks to turn to him. “You can go back to the boys now,” you whispered gently to him.

Luke was taken by surprise at your words, and hurt flashed across his face. “Do you want me to go?” he asked you.

You were quick to shake your head. “No!” you rushed. “I just thought…you know, it’s your big day, too. I figured you’d want to spend it with them.”

The blond took your hands in his and kissed them softly. “I want to be by your side through it all,” he assured you. “I haven’t seen you in days, and I don’t want a petty fight to get between us and celebrating your greatest achievement.”

Your publicity manager approached you, checking her watch every second or so anxiously. “The movie’s about to start,” she reminded you hurriedly. 

You were about to tell her to give you both a few minutes, but Luke stopped you. “We can talk more later, okay?” he said. You agreed wordlessly, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips. 

“Let’s go in together, babe,” you decided. Luke resumed his position beside you, entering the theater together proudly to watch the film the both of you dedicated so much time and effort into. And as Luke took your hand while you both sat in your seats, you knew that everything would be okay in the end. 

–

Once the movie had ended, Harry invited you and the boys to his home for the afterparty but you politely declined, opting to spend the rest of the night with your beloved boyfriend. 

Now, you and Luke took a walk around the finally quieted city, hand in hand. You were grateful you brought another pair of shoes with you because your heels were killing you, and you were more thankful for Luke who insisted on holding your strappy heels for you as you continued your walk. 

“I really can’t thank you enough for saving my neck there on the carpet,” you said in a slightly teasing tone. “I would have actually melted into the floor if you didn’t come to my aid.”

“I meant what I said when I said I always had your back, y/n,” Luke replied, eyes trained on the sidewalk. 

A pregnant silence followed as you made your way through the city, taking in the lights and cool summer air without any fear of paparazzi following close behind you. You found yourself nervously playing with the rings on Luke’s fingers as you tried to find the right words to say.

“I’m sorry for that night,” you began, avoiding his questioned gaze. “I should have been more open to you about how I felt from the beginning, but I really do promise that I don’t have any feelings for him. Not anymore, at least. It was a teenage dream come true, but…”

Luke raised an eyebrow at you. “But?” he pressed gently.

You stopped walking, turning to cup his cheek affectionately. “But that’s not my dream anymore,” you finished. “My dream is to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Whether or not you decide to marry me, I want you in my life for all the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m really sorry for ever making you doubt my love for you, and I’m sorry for not being receptive to your doubts and insecurities.” 

“What makes you think I don’t wanna marry you?” he asked you. “Of course I do. I want to see you walk down that aisle with a dress as giant or as small as you want, as long as you become Mrs. Hemmings at the end of it. Or if you don’t want to take my last name, that’s fine, too. I don’t care if you want a big or small wedding or a wedding at all. If you want to take that oath in the townhouse and officially be mine -and I, yours- I’m perfectly okay with that, too.” 

You bit your lip, trying to fight back your tears. “I was just nervous,” you confessed. “I knew you were upset by those questions about me and Harry, but I was upset, too. I just never told you how upset I was.” A stray tear trickled down your face but you stubbornly wiped it away, not wanting to cry. “We’ve been together for ten wonderful years, and all people would ask me is “when are you getting married?” “when is he going to propose?” And at first, I was fine with it. But the more people asked, the more anxious I was about the stability of our relationship.”

When Luke’s face gave away he wasn’t exactly following what you meant, you continued to explain further. “I’ve read so many tweets and articles about how undesirable I am, from the moment I turned sixteen. And the fact that you kept pushing off the idea of us getting married,” you looked away, embarrassed by your reaction to all of this. “It hurts, Lukey. And I know marriage isn’t a thing to rush into and I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want, but those drama tabloids just make me feel so insecure.” 

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” Luke frowned, pity settling in, but you waved your hand to brush it off.

“It’s stupid,” you decided, wiping away the extra tears that managed to escape. “I’ve always told you not to give into the press and social media, yet here I am doing that very thing. L-let’s focus on you, Luke.”

“We can talk about my stupid jealousy another time,” Luke fought to stay on topic. “y/n, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this? If I had known, I would have said something-”

“But that’s not how proposals work, Lukey!” you exclaimed. “It’s not something you do out of pity. It’s a decision you make when you’re sure and you’re not! That’s okay, I don’t want you to make a decision you’ll only end up regretting just to please me in the present.” 

Luke took your hand in his, forcing you to look up at him. “Why do you think I’d ever regret marrying you?” he questioned. “y/n, you’re the love of my life. You’re definitely not my first girlfriend but I intend for you to be my last. You’re it for me, n/n. I do want to marry you and I intended to propose, I just wanted to find the right time and place for it. As for my behavior the past few months,” he sighed. “It wasn’t right of me to villainize you and Harry. You’re friends and coworkers, of course you’re going to get close. And I knew that the press would twist the narrative to make it seem like you guys were more than friends. I should have felt secure enough in our relationship to trust you completely, but I was also too insecure to let that be. 

“Harry’s great. He’s talented, a better singer than I’ll ever be, and kind hearted. I’ve always felt like I was in his shadow, and seeing him with you made me feel self-conscious all over again. And all those news posts about him being your celebrity crush as a child made me angrier. I know it’s not something I should have blamed you for, I was just so jealous I could barely think straight.” 

Luke stepped closer to you, his breath grazing your face. “I’m sorry for being jealous and ever doubting you,” he said honestly. “I should have trusted you when you said you no longer felt anything for him.”

“I’m sorry for brushing you off and not listening,” you said in response. “I promise you, Luke, you’re it for me, too.” 

Luke choked back a laugh of disbelief, grateful for this whole ordeal getting resolved as he bent down to kiss you deeply. Your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer to finally taste him, smell him, feel him again. 

Once you pulled back for air, you crinkled your nose as you smiled. “Does this mean we’re engaged?” you asked curiously, eyes sparkling with happiness and love. “You know, since we’re in agreement and everything.” 

“I would have preferred to get down on one knee and that whole spiel,” Luke sighed dramatically. “But yes, I do suppose we are engaged.” 

Grinning, you pulled him back down for another kiss. “We can get to that sappy stuff later,” you insisted. “I just want to spend the rest of my night with my husband-to-be.” 

--

thank you so much for reading! please like and reblog if you enjoyed! <3

"fuck, luke"

Word count: 2.8k

Warning: explicit sex (smut, 18+), swearing

Requested: no but requests are open!!

A/N: I'm not so sure about this but since it's written why not publish it. Definitely not my best work but idk. Tell me what you think about it, feedback is always appreciated.

Masterlist

Your best friend Michael had convinced you to go to his show, as he often did when they played close to home. You were hanging out backstage with him, the band, and the crew before the show started. You were sitting on a sofa with most of the people in the room while the boys finished getting ready.

"Hey! How's my favorite girl doing?" Michael asked as he sat next to you. You turned your phone off and looked up at him.

"Well, I'm sure I'd be better watching Netflix at home but there are free drinks so I'm not complaining" you joked.

"You always say the same but end up having the best time at our shows, I can see you dancing and singing your heart out from the stage"

"Shhh, that's a secret" you said as you placed your right index finger on your lips.

"So, how do you like my outfit?" Michael asked standing up so you could see it better. You thought about making a joke but you knew Michael's confidence wasn't the best so you decided on telling the truth right away hoping it'd make him feel better later on stage.

"You look stunning as always, you know I'm loving your stage fits lately"

"Thank you, y/n. You look pretty good yourself too" he said sitting back and hugging you. You couldn't help but notice Luke while you were hugging Michael. He was standing in front of a mirror, fixing his hair.

After a few minutes, Michael started talking to some other people from the crowd and you directed your attention back to the lead singer. To be fair, as long as he was in the room, your attention was always on him. He had finished fixing his hair and he was now looking for something in his makeup bag. He pulled out some glittery eyeshadow. You were still staring at him, having completely forgotten that you were in a room full of people. As Luke leaned in to apply some of the eyeshadow one of the buttons on his shirt popped open and you could clearly see his chest and abdomen through his reflection in the mirror. So many thoughts clouded your mind at that instant.

"Fuck, Luke" you almost moaned. He turned around to face you and a smirk appeared on his face. Wait, what? You couldn't have said that out loud, could you? You quickly scanned the room and realized everyone was staring at you. You could see Michael could barely control his laugh, knowing you had kept this secret for years now, it must have been hilarious to see you drop it that easily. You panicked more than you ever had before, stood up, and run away from the room as you muttered a quick "sorry". You headed to the rooftop, thinking there probably wasn't anyone there and a bit of fresh air could be good for you.

You sat on the ground looking at the view of the city from up there. After a couple of breathing exercises, you had calmed down almost completely. How could you have been so stupid? It would have been so easy to keep that thought to yourself. Now you were sure everyone was going to make fun of you if you ever dared to walk back into that room, and you didn't even want to begin to think what Luke would say. You heard the door to the rooftop open.

"Mike, I'm not in the mood" you said adding a big sigh right after, hoping Michael would go back without saying anything.

"I'm not Michael, but if you're not in the mood I can go" you looked at the door as soon as you recognized Luke's voice. Your cheeks turned a bright shade of pink as you made eye contact.

"Uhm, no, Luke, it's fine" you cleared up your throat trying to make your voice sound a bit stronger. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to say that" you tried to explain as he sat next to you, closer than he would normally, you noticed.

"You didn't mean to say that or you didn't mean for me to hear it?" Luke asked with a smirk constantly drawn on his lips. You hid your face behind your hands and looked down, embarrassment flooding your whole body. You hated that he was enjoying this situation so much. "It's okay, I think you're very attractive too" he said giggling right after. Your heart almost stopped at his confession.

"I never said that Hemmings" you replied looking back at him to discover he was even closer than before. You stared at his beautiful eyes getting lost in them. You had never had the chance to enjoy them that close and you had to admit their blue ocean color was stunning. You could have sworn you heard Luke saying something but you were far too distracted to understand him. "Excuse me, what?" you said shaking your head to escape your thoughts.

"There's no way you can deny it after that" he laughed and you couldn't help but giggle too. You were impressed by his confidence but you were loving getting to know this new side of him.

"You've got me, okay? I'm sorry, you're just way too distracting this close"

"What about now?" he said moving his head even closer.

"Even more"

"And now?" he moved as close as he could without your noses touching each other.

"Luke, don't play this game" you warned him, trying to stay as calm as you could with your heart beating faster than it ever had before.

"Why not?"

"Because I will end up hurt" you answered sincerely backing up from him just a little bit. Luke's smirk faded at your words and he frowned.

"I would never hurt you, y/n"

"I know you wouldn't do it intentionally but I like you too much to do this"

"We can do more, then"

"What do you mean?"

"I'd love to do more with you. I've wanted to do more with you for a long time now" he said making you smile shily.

"So, it wouldn't be just one kiss?" Luke shook his head no. "It wouldn't be just one fun night?" Luke shook his head no. "It wouldn't be just one date?" Luke shook his head no. "Okay, then. You can come closer now" You shifted your position so you were facing him better. Luke moved his head as he placed his right hand on your face, making you melt at his touch that felt comforting and burning at the same time. He stopped as close to you as he could letting you be the one to decide if you really wanted this and you did shortly after, closing the space between you with a soft kiss. When you pulled away you felt breathless even though the kiss had been short.

"Fuck, Luke"

"Is that your favorite phrase now?" you both laughed and he was soon leaning in to kiss you again. You opened your legs and he moved so he was in between them and in front of you. The kiss deepened quickly, the sexual tension between you two being too strong to ignore. Luke bit your lower lip with just the right amount of pressure before pulling apart from you. You pouted making him smile.

"We don't have a lot of time now" he said sitting up on his knees and rolling one of his hands through his blonde curls.

"I know" you replied trying to compose yourself.

"But if you want" Luke's smirk appeared on his face once again making you nervous "I can do something before the show, you just have to try to be quick" you couldn't deny his request, being already so worked up, so you nodded frantically. "I love that you're almost begging for me with your eyes, baby" Luke whispered to your ear biting your earlobe right after. A soft moan escaped your lips at his words. "Let's see if your body is as ready as you are". Luke's hands caressed your breast over your shirt shortly, pinching your nipples taking advantage of the fact that you weren't wearing a bra. Your breath accelerated at his actions.

"I'm so glad I chose to wear a skirt today" you said with a raspy voice and Luke hummed in agreement. Luke's hands traveled through your waist down to your legs and up and down your inner thighs a couple of times. You shivered when his right fingers traced your outer lips over your panties.

"You are so wet for me, y/n. You don't know how good it feels to know I did that to you" you moaned louder at his dirty talk. You two had never been intimate before and you already felt like he knew how to get your head spinning. Without any more talking he pushed your panties to the side and your breath hitched in your throat as you felt the cool air hitting your core. Luke left open-mouth kisses all over your neck as he started to run his fingers through your folds. His thumb drew circles on your clit, increasing his pressure and speed every couple of seconds. You threw your head back from the pleasure and Luke took this as a chance to suck harshly on the spot of your neck he was kissing before. Both of you knew it would leave a visible mark but you couldn't care less. You kept moaning softly at his actions, starting to feel light-headed from the pleasure. Just the thought of Luke being the one making you feel this way had you getting closer to your release. He pushed your legs apart a bit more before introducing one of his long fingers inside of you, not too quick but not too slow either. He watched you, observing your reaction. Your back curled and your lips parted. "Feels good, princess?" he asked already knowing the answer.

"Oh my god, yes. Keep going, I'm already close" you said moving your hips involuntarily. He did as he was told and picked up a pace with his finger, adding a second one as soon as he felt you were lubricated enough. After barely more than a minute the knot on your abdomen was growing rapidly and about to explode. Your moans got louder and you started to clench around Luke's fingers.

"You're doing so good for me" Luke praised, having realized his words had a clear effect on you. Suddenly someone knocked on the door to the rooftop.

"Luke, we need to be on stage now!" you heard Michael yelling from the other side of the door. Luke quickly placed his left hand on your mouth while the other one kept working on you, slowing his pace.

"Just give me a minute, I'll be right there!" he said looking at you as if to ask if a minute was enough, you nodded, feeling your release approaching by the second.

"y/n, are you okay?" you cursed Michael on your head for worrying about you right now.

"Yes, she is!" Luke answered for you.

"Can she speak for herself?" he insisted. Luke took his hand off your mouth carefully and stopped the movement of his fingers knowing it would have been impossible for you to talk otherwise.

"I'm fine Michael, just give us a second!" you tried to sound as normal as you could.

"Okay! But only a minute Luke or they'll kill us!". As soon as you heard Michael's voice fade away as he turned back from the door Luke started thrusting his fingers into you at a newfound pace, way quicker than before.

"Oh fuck, Luke, just like that" you said as your right hand traveled to your clit to massage it just the way you knew would get you off. Luke placed his left hand on your back just to keep you stable.

"You did so good talking to Michael, babygirl. I know you're close, I can feel it, just let go" Luke kept praising you and maintaining his pace and after just a few seconds you felt the knot on your abdomen exploding and a rush of adrenaline clouding your brain. After helping you through your high, Luke pulled out his fingers and sucked on them making you groan.

"That was so good" you breathed coming down from your orgasm.

"I know. Tastes very good too" Luke said kissing you once he had finished cleaning his fingers so you would taste yourself in his mouth.

"Can't wait to do more with you, Luke. Now go before they come back looking for you, I'll be there as soon as I can walk" you giggled.

"Do you think the crowd will like it if I wear my shirt like this?" Luke asked and you realized he had never buttoned it up.

"Oh you wouldn't dare Hemmings"

"Watch me" he said standing up and walking towards the door "I need something to get your attention on me and get you ready for me again". You rolled your eyes as he went back inside the arena. A couple minutes later you were on the side of the stage, watching their show, locking eyes with Luke every couple of minutes. You ran to the backstage area right before the show finished and started talking to the stage manager about how good it had been. Suddenly you felt someone's hands on your hips.

"Michael! That was amazing!" you said turning around.

"You're gonna have to stop thinking I'm Michael, but thanks" Luke replied pushing you softly until your back hit a countertop while he kissed you, the conversation you were having long forgotten.

"Everyone's watching, Lu" you said as soon as the kiss finished with a shy tone and blushing.

"I love how easy that nickname rolled off your lips" he stated making your blush more evident. "If you're okay with it, I don't care if they're watching, let them see us now that I can finally have you". You weren't expecting Luke to be so affectionate towards you in front of others this quick, knowing he had always been reserved when it came to relationships. But the fact that he wanted to be seen with you made you feel safe and confident. You nodded as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He grabbed you by your thighs and sat you on the countertop. You pressed your forehead to his, just enjoying this newfound proximity that made you both feel butterflies in your stomach.

"Ew, lovebirds! Finally, I guess" Michael said making you both jump. You smiled at him and he smiled back at you, both of you being aware of how long you had wanted this. "Now if you do anything and I mean anything that upsets her, you won't have anywhere to hide, do you understand?" Michael said as he pointed at Luke with his index finger. Luke nodded and you laughed.

"Do you wanna come over tonight, y/n? We can finish what we started earlier" Luke said knowing you'd blush at him saying it in front of your best friend. You felt so bad for your answer but you had to say it anyway.

"Uhm, I am so so sorry but I had already promised Michael a game night" you explained.

"I see, so a girl has her priorities set, friends over dicks" he joked making your blush increase.

"You should know she'll always choose me first, Luke, that's just how it is" Luke laughed and held up his hands as a defeat sign. You loved that they were best friends too.

"But if you can and Michael is okay with it maybe you could join us?" you said hopeful, wanting to enjoy the company of both of them.

"I don't know about that" Michael said quickly. You looked at him pouting knowing he couldn't resist you, just as you couldn't have resisted him if the tables were turned. "Okay, okay, I can never say no to your puppy eyes". You cheered with content making Luke look at you with adoration. "But, I have one very important condition" you nodded "no PDA, please. I don't think I'd survive".

"Fair enough" Luke said hugging you and pulling you down from the countertop. You gave him a quick peck on the lips before turning to Michael. He was looking at you with a disgusted face making you laugh.

"Sorry, sorry, that was the last one" you promised.

"I sure hope so". The three of you headed to Michael's place after saying your goodbyes and spent the rest of the night playing videogames and eating pizza. You felt like you couldn't have asked for anything more and you were excited to see how things with Luke would be from now on.

Can you do a Luke smut where he is a jerk to Y/N & she doesn’t understand why until his friend spills he likes/loves her & is just a jealous prick. so y/n takes matters into her own hands & teases him until he admits it & they fuck

Okay so I basically read this and thought I did it as you wished but uhhhh in true 'me' fashion, I did my own damn thing...

I do hope you enjoy it though, there's a lot to work with!

In the Backseat

A Luke Hemmings one shot

18+, Smut, NSFW

Word Count: 10,157

He never meant to hurt you. I suppose no one ever means to hurt anyone. It just sort of happens and then they’re left to either pick up the pieces or hide away in shame or God forbid show no remorse at all. He felt guilt. He felt a tremendous amount of guilt actually. That was a good sign, maybe not for you but for him, definitely. He wasn’t a lost cause. He could rectify it or hope to. You’d let him drive you home too. You can’t have completely hated him if you allowed that. You could have called an uber just as easily as you’d asked him to be the one to drive you. You looked on the verge of tears when you asked him, not ideal for him. He hadn’t enjoyed it, not like that.

You don’t sit beside him in the passenger seat like he expects. He glances to the empty seat beside himself as if he were still waiting on you to settle there. You don’t beg him to turn the radio down. You don’t say anything at all. He suspects you might cross your arms over your chest in some form of tantrum or way to signify how badly he’d fucked up and that you were pissed at him because he knew in his head and heart that you were. You can’t even find it in yourself to do that. Your hands are lay flat against your thighs, one on each, so still. You’d given him nothing. You just looked out of the window, feeling as if you were in some kind of movie, some sad film sequence, just watching the world fade away. You’d never looked so dejected before.

He finds it hard to focus on the road. He watches it more than he watches you, but he finds himself flickering over to you so fast his eyes start to hurt. At the next redlight he decided to dig his hand into the glovebox compartment, digging through takeout receipts and old CDs to fetch his glasses. He curses under his breath when he struggles to land on them immediately. He watches the lights, then you, then the lights again while he grabs them, anxiously rushing himself. He shuts the compartment, sliding the lenses over the bridge of his nose, notably on edge. He dared to glance your way again. He could now see your pain with 20/20 vision.

He feels he should say something. He could distract you. He could engage in small talk. You didn’t even have to answer, a glance in his direction would have been a win for him. He’s tapping the steering wheel. It’s as if his entire vocabulary had escaped him. His mouth had gone dry. He finds himself scratching at his chin, his short beard a pleasant feeling under his fingernails. He still darts eyes over to you as if you’d have gone somewhere in the seconds it took him to think.

The headlights of the car behind had given you this glow and upon noticing it he’d let out a deep and painful sigh. He hadn’t ever seen you look as beautiful as you did right then. Which is a shocking realisation for him when he’d always considered you breath-taking. He swears he could crash this car and go out in an eternal blaze, and it would have been worth it because the last thing he saw was you.

He saw you, like this, biting your lip to avoid speaking to him. Brushing your fingertips over your thighs, occasionally tugging your skirt down towards your knees. You with your legs growing cold even under your thick tights that you’d picked because you thought you’d get a chill. He saw you unable to look at him. Fighting internally (or so you thought) to avoid his gaze. You were such a sight to behold. As he neared your side of town, just a mere 10 minutes from your home, he found himself unable to take you there. He was left powerless to his deepest intentions. He diverted your journey.

You don’t think too much of it. There were so many routes he could take. He would take you there, you were sure of it. You didn’t show signs of stress, of anxiety, no more than you already had just being in this position. You just watched the buildings whiz by. The streetlights flickering here and there. Worst of all, the billboards reminding you of just why you’d been upset in the first place. You couldn’t look out of the window much longer.

You had a dumb fight. All fights were dumb but this one especially. You went to his stupid party, at his stupid friend’s house. You couldn’t have known. You still wouldn’t have known, even now, if it hadn’t been for someone else. You feel the tension knotting in your stomach as your mind wanders back to it. You wanted to cry so badly, to be able to feel anything at all without the intensity of his eyes catching you at any second because of course you noticed him. You couldn’t not notice him. He was all you were ever aware of, and you were so god damn hurt because he didn’t have the decency to share the same sentiment with you.

You sigh with frustration. You’ve had enough. “Let me out.” You say it sternly. “What?” He responds as the words are still leaving you. “Let. Me. Out.” He’s puzzled. He’s still driving, far enough away from your house that you wouldn’t dare walk from here, not at this hour. “Are you kidding me? No, I’m not stopping.” He watches the road intently for the first time since you left the driveway of his friend’s house. “Luke, let me out of this fucking car.” Your tone is calm, and your heart is anything but.

He wants to fight you on it. He doesn’t want to lose you. He might lose you if he doesn’t stop. There was also a heavy possibility that he would lose you even if he did. “Then what?” He asks. You look to him in the mirror, your lips are parted, nothing coming out. “No plan? No way of getting home?” He’s trying to gesture with his hands while they remain on the wheel. “Not letting you out then.” He thinks he has you defeated. He’s not even close.

“I’ll call a taxi.” He scoffs. “Yeah? Why didn’t you do that about 20 minutes ago?” He’s shocked he’s managed to argue with you. Just minutes ago, his heart was aching, and he was terrified he’d upset you and now he was arguing. It was fight or flight and you were important enough for him to pick the former. He’d regret it another time, he’s sure. “Because I didn’t think of it then.” You exasperate, flinging your arms out. “Just let me out Luke.” You stare right into his eyes; you have a cold and serious glare. He pulls over begrudgingly, but he doesn’t unlock the car.

You know not to bother with the handle, he’d already thought of that. Considering he was such an airhead on a day to day, he seemed to be carrying himself pretty well tonight. He was just hellbent on destroying your happiness. Maybe he should progress that as a career on top of lying to you. That would go down a real treat.

“Talk to me.” He pleads. It was worth a try. “No.” He rolls his eyes, fingers running along the leather of the steering wheel before returning to the top, gripping it tightly. “Just yell at me already, do whatever you have to.” He slumps back in his seat, head hitting the rest behind it with a thud. It had to hurt. Good, you thought.

“You could have fucking told me.” You surprised yourself but not him. He knew you’d kept tight lipped for too long and now the second you were given real opportunity you were going to come for him with all you had. “You know who told me?” He doesn’t respond. It wasn’t necessarily rhetorical, but you knew he knew and there was no point in adding more fuel to the fire in confirming it. “Jordan. Not you, not Ash, not Cal not even blabbermouth Michael, fucking Jordan!” Your hands slam down against the seat so hard it made your palms sting. He winced as you did it. Even if he didn’t see it. He heard it. He’d kiss your delicate skin better if he wouldn’t get slapped for even trying to.

“I was going to tell you.” He was. He really was, he just didn’t know when, hadn’t found the words. A pathetic excuse, he was well aware. “What? When you were already halfway across the globe? You’re leaving in 2 weeks Luke.” You sounded so wounded, and you recognised it, and you hated it. He couldn’t have felt more stupid if he’d tried. “I just don’t understand.” He dared to look at you in the mirror. You were appeared just as crushed as you sounded and to make matters worse, you were looking right at him. You weren’t glancing into the mirror like a coward. You weren’t like him. You were looking directly at his poorly positioned, lanky body sinking into the leather seating of his car.

“Did you just think I’d see a billboard and be like yeah cool, amazing, so glad you’re touring again, congratulations.” He wants to speak but no words come out. There wasn’t a way to apologise for this, not when he’d fucked up so badly, not when he’d ruined everything. “I would have been happy for you Lu.” His heart was aching in a way he’d never felt before, come close to but never quite endured. The nickname had sent him over the cliff he was afraid he’d been back stepping onto. One more wrong move and he was done for.

“I’m coming back there.” Before you could protest, he was pulling the keys and burying them in his pocket. The best plan for him was none at all. The door was opening and closing, and he was slamming another behind him, sliding into the backseat. You stare ahead of you. Your heartbeat so loud you both heard it. He locked the doors again and you laughed. He’d actually disliked the sound for the first time in his life. “I’m not going anywhere. You made sure of that. I don’t even know where we are.” You run your fingers through your hair. He doesn’t look at you like he wants to. He looks forward. You’re both staring at the seats in front of you. You wished you were in complete darkness; it may make this easier to live through. Unfortunately for the both of you, you were parked conveniently next to a streetlight.

“I couldn’t find the words.” He says, he wanted to be as transparent as he could. “I wanted to find them, I couldn’t. Like every time I tried to tell you, they just got jumbled up like some kind of word vomit or something.” He pulls a disgusted face as he says the word ‘vomit,’ he’d never liked that word. “You’re a lyricist. I find that hard to believe.” You cross your arms over your chest. A weak argument. “You don’t have to be so hard on me.” He’s right, you don’t, and you might feel a shed of remorse for it, but you wouldn’t drop it. “I’ve been beating myself up all night you know.”

You allow yourself to look at him. His stomach twists when your eyes land on him. His body is flooded with a warmth he could only compare to the sun. A blistering but comforting heat that reminded him of where he came from, where he was most at home. “I didn’t actually want to face the fact that I was leaving.” He starts to fiddle with the tear in his jeans. He wasn’t sure where the rip came from, he’d grown out of intentionally ripped jeans long ago, but the threads were tactile and useful to him now, soothing him as he worked through his emotions. Since he had no choice but to do so.

“It’s what you do.” Your voice is so soft, he wants to lean in and let you surround him with it. “But I haven’t done it, not for 2 years.” He laughs nervously. He’s not sure how the conversation morphs into his anxieties for the future but here he was. “Hell, I barely remember how I did it before.” He’s running his fingers through his bleached blonde curls and you’re biting your bottom lip at the thought of replacing them with your own. Hard to stay mad when you lose your focus at the sight of anything he does. “You really are scared.” He would feel relaxed at your compassion returning but he doesn’t know how long it will last. “Terrified more like.” He reaches forward to prod the headrest before him. There’s no reason for it other than impulse and he tended to act on those a lot.

“I could have helped.” He sighs, sinking into his seat, he’d connected those dots already. “I know.” You don’t push it, sitting quietly, maybe even patiently. “I know and that’s why I’m so stupid.” You’d never correct him there. “You’d have supported me no matter what because you’re a good fucking friend and I’m just a coward who doesn’t deserve it.” You roll your eyes as he hits his head repeatedly off the back of his seat. “Cut the pity party.” He gulps. He almost gives into temptation, glancing to the right of him as you command his silence. He settles for leaning his head back instead.

He couldn’t have looked more inviting if he tried. His neck outstretched like that. His adam’s apple prominently bobbing as he took a breath and gulp of air. The way he wet his bottom lip with the nerves he felt. The damn near sheer shirt he coated his top half with. When did he start dressing sluttier than you? You wanted to bite his neck, you wanted to forget all of this and wrap your lips around his jugular and never let go. You’re not even sure what you were fighting for anymore. “Sorry.” Even if you knew it wasn’t meant as his formal apology, you had known that he meant it. He would never not be sorry for this. You were the last person he wanted to hurt.

“I am a good friend.” You say. He would laugh if he could. He doubts he’d ever feel joy again until you forgave him. He was still picking away at his jeans, cursing his chipped nail polish at the same time. “I am happy for you.” You were, somewhere in the pits of your soul you were, somewhere very far and unobtainable at this moment in time but it was there. “I miss you already.” He says in a low whisper and that’s enough to crack your hard exterior just like the rasp in his voice had. “You what?” You hadn’t heard him right. You couldn’t have. His voice was too husky to be understood, you’d bet money on it. “I-“

He turns his body around, knees trying to face you, as much as they could in the cramped space he’d forced himself into. You didn’t look at him. He was starting to take it personally. “Would you just look at me?” Its making it much harder for him to grovel without your eyes giving him a chance. He wants to reach out and touch the hand you left on your thigh, but he thinks better of it, couldn’t step in too soon. “I can’t,” you mutter, you’re avoiding his gaze even more now that he’d asked for it. You were just trying to make sense of it all. You’re acting ridiculous and you’re acutely aware of it but you’re processing. “Can’t or won’t?” Where had he robbed these few braincells from? You didn’t like it; he wasn’t supposed to be this perceptive, that was never his game. “Both.” You grunt.

“Can’t keep doing this.” He says. You’re not sure what exactly he’s referring to, but you feel him burning the words into the side of your face like he’s branding you with a hot iron. “Doing what?” You’re suddenly breathless and this tiny car had felt a whole lot smaller, closing in on you. You had to fan yourself with your hand to satiate the heat. The more you focused the more you noticed how his long legs had barely fit a gap between the two of you, it was only a matter of time before you were crushed together.

“I don’t know- I don’t want to say it.” He bites back the words he so keenly wishes to utter. “You don’t or wont?” You turn his words back on him without so much as a second glance. Your pulse rockets as you do. “Both.” He says, his body is shifting still. He’s moving closer. Not quite beside you but getting there. It wouldn’t be long. He doesn’t want to cross your boundaries; he’s had better ideas than to mess with them, but they were just there. The temptation was overwhelming. He starts to slip back where he was, his knees digging into the back of the driver’s seat thinking better of it. He was a coward, and he didn’t need to look at you to know you thought it too. He’d returned to his original position and your heart ached at the distance.

Even when he was on a different continent, he’d never felt further from you than he did in this moment. What’s worse was that you saw him retreating, not just physically but mentally. He was sat debating whether to leave you not just on tour but for good. When his nails dug into his own thighs, his breathing deepening into exhausted sighs. The wheels were turning with no signs of breaking. He’d gone from suffocatingly close to a million miles away and he hadn’t even moved. It’s just what it felt like when he closed himself off like that. You didn’t like it. He didn’t have to. You were scared he felt he needed to. You were mad, you were so mad, but not even because you of what he did anymore, but because of what he wouldn’t do, what he continued not to do. There wasn’t enough honesty between you. You needed some truth. You may have to force it from him, but it was far less unsettling to picture than the thought of him leaving without the air cleared between you.

So, you did the unthinkable. You clambered onto his lap in a way you never had before; sober or otherwise. Your legs fastened on either side of his thighs. Your head bumps the ceiling briefly, not enough to knock you off track but enough to hurt. You’re well aware of the clumsiness of your actions and the inelegance of jumping someone’s bones. Not to mention the wardrobe malfunctions that ensue. Your skintight skirt flipping up, essentially exposing your underwear in the process. Even hidden under dark tights the risk of him seeing them made a hot flush creep across your stomach.

You had made it now. You sat in his lap, and you made him see you, you begged him to see you and he saw you all right. His mind raced. He didn’t know where to look or what to say. He was going a million miles a minute. The possibilities, he was lost in them, what could have been, the what ifs and even the why on earths. His trousers were already tightening. Just another thing to worry about. If he hadn’t upset you enough before, an inappropriately timed boner might as well do the trick.

You wonder where to put your hands. The internal battle chipping away at you piece by piece. You’re hovering over his lap, too petrified to sit your full weight on top of him even if it pained you not to. If you didn’t clutch some support you’d be aching for days. It was as if he saw a thought bubble appear above your head. He wearily placed his hands on your legs to push you down and make you sit. His eyes were transfixed on his hands. He’d moved them with no communication to the rest of his body. He’d not spent a second thinking about touching you and yet, he had.

He shouldn’t have looked down at his hands. He had the thought now, the regret in his choice of actions, the placement of them. He knew how your skirt had betrayed you, lifting to show him more of you than he’d ever dreamed of. He knew that if he just looked even a millimetre to the side, he’d see the cotton of your underwear concealing you away from him beneath your tights. He felt every bone in his body screaming at him to move, he wasn’t quite sure which direction yelled louder. To look or not to look? He wanted to look. He’d ruined himself.

You took this opportunity to look at him. You analysed his expression while he avoided your gaze. How had you been so stupid? To be blind to him. You watched his every move and waited on his every word with bated breath and yet you just hadn’t seen it. You hadn’t seen how hard he fought with himself every day. How he’d never really looked you in the eyes before because there was such a deep secret locked away inside of them. It was almost like this was your first time seeing him properly. You’d never seen him so clearly in fact. His little freckles dotted around his nose. The glitter shimmering across his eyelids, he shone like some kind of fairy. It wasn’t the worst way to describe him. He was quite ethereal. A bone structure a model would die for. Sweet blue eyes so clear you felt cleansed just being seen by them. His smile lines sinking into the corners of his mouth. There was something kind of magic about the way he looked in the dim light and it drew you in enough to leave not even a little bit of space between you.

You kissed him. You leaned in quickly, too quickly to catch yourself, not sure if you even would have wanted to. It was too late to prevent it now anyway. The wheels were fully in motion and like a freight train, there was no stopping you. Your lips had reached his and you had felt your body surging to life.

He can’t move. He can’t breathe. He can’t- well he doesn’t know what he can’t do, he just can’t do it. You’re kissing him. You’re sat on his lap; his hands are on your thighs and- his hands are on your thighs. He needs to move his hands. He lifts them and he’s thanking God inside his head for giving him the strength to do it even if it pained him to leave the safe space they’d been left to rest in. You’re panicking. He’s not kissing you back, he’s not doing a damn thing. He moved his hands away and you expect them to push you back at any moment, but that moment never arrives. He needed to kiss you back. Your lips felt so nice, so soft, supple, and shit- he needs to kiss you back!

His body is on autopilot, kicking into gear. It was better than nothing. It was way better than nothing. He instinctively leans forward; you’re so scared to fall backwards that your hands are gripping onto his shoulders for dear life. Maybe it’s to secure the kiss, maybe it’s because you need him closer, either way you’re elated, you’re not the only one involved any longer. He’s still leaning, he’s pushing forward, your back is pushed into the seat behind, his hands are floating around to your back and then-. They land. They’re overlapping each other near the base of your spine and tugging you inwards away from the seat. He’s pulling you in close, into his atmosphere. His car was becoming suffocatingly tiny, and you hadn’t even minded it anymore because you weren’t trapped alone, you were trapped with him, him, him. The air was thick with fear and lust, but it was invigorating. It smelt like him. It felt like him. Fuck it was him, all him.

“Oh God Luke why haven’t we kissed before?” You’re gasping for a breath between kisses, and you can’t help yourself. You take the words right out of his mouth. You can’t stay away. You kiss him so much he can’t get a word in. It was almost as if you’d only just discovered it. You’d experienced the pleasure of kissing for the very first time and you needed all the practice you could get before it’s taken away from you again. He’s just as invested as you are. Your lips are so sweet he wants the taste imbedded into his brain and he suspects it would be from here on out. Your scent, your taste, he’s not the best at describing things but you remind him of the air after rain. Fresh and earthy. Floral and saccharine, a conforming aroma he wanted to bottle and keep to himself forever.

He’s not breathing anymore. He’s not taken a single breath out of fear the oxygen would somehow wake him from this dream he had to be having. But you’re pulling away because he hasn’t said anything and it’s starting to dawn on you just what you’d done. You think you’re going crazy. He kissed you back, sure, but that didn’t mean anything, he took his time, it wasn’t instant. It wasn’t confirmation. It didn’t mean he meant to. He just did what anyone would do, act on impulse. You think you’re shaking with fear. You meet his eyes with nothing but anxiety in your heart. You’d kissed him like you meant it. Did he?

His glasses are so foggy you can’t even see his eyes anymore. It was undecided if that was an advantage or not. On the one hand you wouldn’t see the shock or horror. On the other, you couldn’t see if he felt the opposite. If he looked at you like you were the piece he’d been missing all these years. You don’t even know if he’s looking at you or not. He’s facing you but is he seeing you?

His hands slip from around you and you hold back the whimper of disappointment. You needed to keep your expectations to a minimum. His hands tug his glasses away from his face before he looks down, attempting to clean them with the bottom of his shirt. You bite your lip so hard you fear it may burst at the slight exposure of his happy trail beneath. Sure, you could faintly see it through the mesh but seeing it bare was something that had you fighting for your life and begging your legs not to squeeze together. You heard nothing but the pounding of hearts and the occasional car whizzing by on the quiet road as you processed the previous events.

“Lu.” His eyes lift to meet yours and they’re filled with a kindness that is so compelling you might just make it out of here alive. He notices that your pupils are dilated to an extent that he could have mistaken them for black. He’d never seen you like that before. Your cheeks, they’re so round, darkened with a blush. Your lips, so beautifully shaped, swollen from his own. Your cupid’s bow so prominent and alluring, you were so naturally pretty, he’d always known it but seeing it this close, breath-taking. He can’t believe he’s never been this close to you before. That was a crying shame. A monumental mistake on his part. Even if he wouldn’t have been able to control himself. He would certainly have remembered it though, memorised every feature of your face like the lyrics to a song he must sing and be happy to for the rest of his days on this earth with you.

He sets his glasses in your lap and your stomach flutters as you feel the weight of them. They weren’t heavy in the slightest but the sensation, the reminder of just where you were situated. You were still in his lap, still in his orbit. It was dizzying. “You look really pretty.” You let slip, one glance into his eyes and your mouth ran without thought. His lips turn up in one corner. “You think I’m pretty?” He’s laughing at it but it’s the sweetest thing he’d ever heard. Deep down, it’s probably the nicest compliment you could have given him. You thought he was pretty and even better than that, you liked that he was pretty. “With glasses,” you gesture to your lap. “Even prettier.” It takes an incredible strength not to let it be known that he loved hearing you say that.

You try something different. You have only one chance at this. You owed it to yourself to explore the unanswered questions you’d been stacking up in your brain for the entirety of your friendship. One’s you hadn’t dared to speak into existence and thought better of verbalising even now. Instead, you answer with a touch. You place your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and while you fumble to grip them in a light tug, your nails graze his scalp. He whimpers beneath you elegantly before snapping his mouth shut, a flush of red blotting his cheeks as a result. Fuck. He’d always had the prettiest voice, but you weren’t even remotely aware that it was melodical even in this situation. “Did you just-“he wants to hide, he wants his hands to cover his face and he goes to fulfil that want, but you stop him.

He's looking at you and he hasn’t felt this vulnerable in a long time. You didn’t have many secrets. You knew almost everything about each other but this. Knowing his kiss, knowing his sounds. This was an unexplored territory. Continuing forward at this trajectory could have the most fatal consequences for the two of you and your ongoing relations. You’re so painfully aware of that but you still tug his hair back hard in efforts to hear him again. “Fuck.” He gasps, his pink lips slotting open not even trying to save himself the embarrassment, he was already exposed, may as well accept it.

You had to kiss him again, had to kiss him and pull his hair and feel his little bitch boy whimpers on your lips or you may die. You throw yourself at him with nothing more to lose. His hands wrap around you so tightly you knew he’d struggle to let you go and there wasn’t a chance in hell that you’d ever allow him to if he tried. You tug on his blonde curls, and you kiss him and he’s grunting into your mouth like a desperate slut. His tongue slides inside your mouth, granting itself permission. You weren’t the only one wanting to take charge and the idea of fighting for it turned you on more than it should have. His one hand leaves your waist to cup your cheek while he pushes his face right into yours. His precious little nose digging into your cheek as his mouth is enjoying you, savouring you.

‘You’ by definition as declared by Luke Hemmings.

pronoun

1. Used to refer to the person or people that the speaker is addressing.

"Are you listening?"

2. Used to refer to any person in general.

"After a while, you get used to it"

3. Used as a treat for him to devour, tasting better than any gourmet, expensive delicacy he’d ever had the pleasure of trying.

"He loves you; he loves your taste; he loves you"

Your kiss was replaying in his mind before it even ended. It was hung in a museum full of his greatest achievements. He’d be visiting the archive on numerous occasions just to relive this feeling, whether you developed from here or not didn’t even matter anymore he was in it 100% for as long as it lasts. “Luke, I think I love-“He stops dead in his tracks as your words fill the silence. His eyes are not nearly as panicked as they should have been, unlike yours. “I love kissing you,” you finish, your breath shaky as you catch yourself before confessing to something far too soon, even if you’d felt it with every fibre of your being since you met him.

“Yeah?” He’s so drunk on your lips he can’t possibly think straight let alone filter his words to have more caution in them. “Love kissing me or love me?” In the short pause he’s watching you expectantly. It’s not for you to confess your love. It’s not even for you to reject him. It’s just to hear your voice and know he’s not alone like he fears he might be. “Both.” You breathe out. The relief washed over you both like a tidal wave.

You can’t keep away any longer. You’d be damned if you let there be any more silence without it being a result of locking lips. “Have to have you.” He groans.” Your hands are sinking down between you. Your brain is foggy. There’s an unmistakably lusty cloud over your head. You felt as if you’d been hit by cupid’s arrow, infatuated to such an intensity that you were unable to process any information that wasn’t related to your love for the man beneath you. Whatever sick love spell it was, you were grateful for it. It had given you the courage to act on your true feelings and there was no way you were turning back now unless he asked it of you, and he swears he would never dream of such an outcome.

He wants to cry when your fingers brush his stomach. His tummy flips at the coolness of your fingertips delicately toying with the material resting above it. You lift it slowly, your hands deliberately feeling along his torso as the shirt rode higher. He wants to tear it off, he’d even burn it just to prove how little he needed it and how much he needed you instead. You bite on your lower lip at his eagerness to remove it. “Take it off.” You say. He’s way ahead of you. In a flash he’s throwing it to the front of the car. A problem for him to deal with at a later date.

Luke exposed in this way wasn’t something new to you. You’d seen him shirtless. You’d touched him shirtless. The only benefits of living in a ridiculously sunny state were the opportunities to lounge by the beach or the pool. To witness the tightened torso of your best friend with a pair of sunglasses shielding him from knowing just how much you were checking him out. You wondered if he’d ever done the same to you, but by the way he’s staring at your chest, it’s like he’s never seen it before.

Luke had wanted to. He’d thought about it so often, mostly at night alone in his room, but still he’d thought long and hard about the way your body looked in very little clothing. He remained as respectful as he could in your presence. He didn’t let his eyes wander too far from what’s socially acceptable between friends. But he had thought about this moment for what felt like an eternity. He could never have imagined the location or the dim light painting this portrait of your silhouette, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.

He's getting braver. His hands are caressing your hips, pushing upwards to rub along your sides before returning back. “Luke, please.” He’s ignoring your need. He’s playing with you how he wants to when he wants to. He’s repeating his movements at a snail’s pace. You couldn’t rush him, not after making him wait for so long, he deserved to take his time. You’re not happy about it. You’re ready to rock over his lap and take what you need but he catches your hips. “No.” He says confidently, sternly too. Your eyes almost bulge out of your skull, a tantrum ready to slip from your tongue. “Wait for it.” As if you hadn’t been waiting for it every single day of your life. Fucking hell, he’s not even looking at you. It’s like you’re not even there anymore. His eyes are fixated on your chest and somehow that had increased the wetness between your legs more than you thought it would. If it were Luke objectifying you, you would make an exception. You just sank back onto his lap, running your fingers through his hair while he explored you, doing as you were told and praying he’d end your torture if you did. He never thought he’d see the day, you are being obedient.

It's worked out better than you’d imagined. His teasing touches, they’re working you up just enough to leave you wanting more. You worry your enjoyment can be felt through the fabric of your clothing. The more he touches, the more he gets to know you. He feels it, he just doesn’t show it. Somehow that made it even hotter for you. You were embarrassingly speechless for him, and he pretended he hadn’t caused it, couldn’t possibly have known. He wasn’t completely clueless. He wasn’t all shy. He knew what he was doing. There was such a power in shutting the pretty mouth of his best friend with simple caresses. “You seemed to have a lot to say before.” He’s now fondling your breasts, pinching hard over the fabric of your blouse, not even daring to touch beneath but you didn’t even need him to. The gasp that leaves your lips makes his cock twitch and you felt it. “Where’s all that energy gone?” He doesn’t even need to smirk; you hear it in his tone, even if you were deaf, you think you’d hear it.

This time he looks at you. He watches your expressions patiently with a glimmer of enjoyment as he pinches hard, trapping your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. You gasp upon the sharpness of his touch. “Luke.” He had to smile, had to let it show how unbelievably thrilled he was to be doing this to you, to hear you sighing his name because it was real, and he was living out his fantasies. “Kiss me.” He says. You’re surprised he says it. You thought he’d have just taken it by now since you were clearly putty in his hands but instead, he’d instructed you and you had to do it and you were so eager.

You lean in to close the gap and he’s groping over your chest harder as you inch in. Your lips are parted, his tongue slipping in. The moan that escapes you sends his hips bucking upwards into you. There was some kind of a heaven between your thighs, he’s sure of it because the way it felt to just brush against your clothed cunt was already more than he could take. Every ounce of you was blissful to touch. “Oh my God.” You gasped. “No, that’s not my name.” He grumbles into your mouth. You want to roll your eyes with annoyance but they’re already rolling for a different reason. “When you touch me like that, what’s the fucking difference?” An excellent point, you think. He had to be some kind of deity.

He catches your bottom lip between his teeth, and you whimper. The bite is sharp, and it hurts but your lack of release is starting to hurt more. The build-up was fun, but not nearly enough. You had to take your shirt off, move this further. You start to unbutton it. You slip it down over your shoulders and he doesn’t help, no he just watches you. His blue eyes so dark like an ocean you could dive into. You feel a chill as your bra drops from your chest. You were equally exposed now. It suddenly felt so much more real. Seated in the backseat of his car, 2 weeks before he leaves for a tour you didn’t even know about 2 hours ago. Its sinking in, just how much this would hurt you from here on out.

“We can stop right now.” He pushes his forehead against yours. His lips hover above your own. Hot breath fanning over them. It’s not as soothing as it should have been. You’re breathing is more erratic now. His proximity, you need his lips, need his touch, no hesitation, no-. No. You need a pause. You feel as if you could cry, maybe you were crying. Things were catching up to you, hard. “It won’t be easy.” He tries to laugh. “But we can stop.” He pecks your lip. Letting his words sink in. “I don’t want to stop Luke.” He could smile, but it didn’t seem right to, not yet, not while your mind is still restless. “Everything changes from here on, doesn’t it?” Now he’s smiling at you; his hand reaches up to cup your cheek lifting your face in his hands. “What’s to change?”

You weren’t sure exactly what he meant; somehow you felt comforted by it anyway. You silently urged him to continue. “I’ve always been in love with you.” He rubbed his thumb softly over your jaw, your face started to feel heavy in his hands as you melted into his touch, at his words. His heart wasn’t on his sleeve, no, it was being handed to you, given with a stroke to your jaw, a glimmer in his eye and a softness of words on his tongue. “The only change is that you know it.” He’s grinning as he reveals his secret, finally able to clue you in on his little plans. You could have told him then and there, just how relieved you were to feel the same, you felt it could wait. As sweet as it was, you need something less precious, he had to finish what he started or so help him you’d vanquish him.

“Take my clothes off.” He’s way ahead of you once again. He lifts your skirt, and you feel the need to correct him, tell him it needs to come off the other way around, he’s already fiddling with your tights. He’d grabbed them, the material stretching over his hands and before you could raise a brow in suspicion at the oddness, he’s tearing them, splitting the crotch for access. You were lost for words, and he was the same. The only difference was that he was silently praising himself for his strength no to look sooner. Where he thought he’d find cotton, instead he found lace. You were wearing soaking wet, lace panties. “You’re fucking kidding me.” He can’t supress his moan at all. You think you may be engulfed in flames, the only explanation for the fire burning you up inside. He. Tore. Your. Clothes. Off. LITERALLY. How can anyone ever compete?

Butterflies are swarming in your stomach as his fingers don’t hesitate to rub over your core. You sigh at his touch, it’s not even near your clit but you feel like you might cum. “Have I always got you this wet?” He’s surprised. He’s impressed and proud too but mostly surprised. You could laugh at his outburst, if it wouldn’t reveal just how ridiculously on point he was. “More often than I’d like to acknowledge right now.” He decides he’ll put a pin in it for another occasion because he’s absolutely certain now, there will be more occasions.

Your fingers find his hair, tugging on his curls in hopes to bring him back to the task at hand, you. “Think you can hurry this up?” You’re trying to stay cool, but you’re anything but. You don’t want to beg for it, it felt so beneath you before this moment, but he needed to pick up the pace. His fingers rub over the wet material clinging to your cunt. “Would usually have to work for it.” He’s smiling against your lips uncontrollably. “Guess I don’t need to.” You want to wipe the smug look off his face. He’s looking at your lips right before crashing his own against them, distracting you from his hands slipping away beneath you.

He’s freeing himself from his jeans and you so desperately need to look but you can’t. You can’t pull away. You just kiss and kiss and he just- oh God, he’s dragging your hips over him. He’s rocking up into you, still separated by the restrictions of your underwear but you feel him. You know you asked for more, but this was really happening like right now. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Your hips start moving with the guidance of his hands. “Do something for me.” He breathes, tone too calm for your liking. His lips are trailing from yours, down to the column of your throat. “Anything.” You mean it, you truly mean it, he owns every piece of your soul. “Put me in.” You’re done for.

There’s no hesitation. You reach between you, hands blindly chasing after him. When you feel the hot, weight of him barely fitting in your hand, you want to whine. He’s so hard, burning up too. He’s hot to touch and it’s so unbearably arousing. He twitches at your slightest touch, and you’d be proud if you weren’t so needy. You work your hand over him, just gathering the beads of liquid already leaking from the tip to drag it back over him. He’s pushed his face right into your neck, kissing and nipping, his beard scratching your flesh as you bring him to you. It’s so nice to feel him humming along your throat. You are ruining him just as much as he did you.

Your breath hitches as you slide your underwear to the side. Your heart hammers as his tip brushes your entrance. Luke’s cock throbs as its sinking inside you. It’s barely inside and you feel so snug around him. He bites down hard on your neck as you take more but not nearly enough. You can’t think of anything but the fullness. You wonder if he’d fit inside you fully, scared he might not be able to go further, that you couldn’t possibly cater to his size but then he wiggles his hips, careful not to hurt you but he’s still forcing himself deeper inside.

You gasp out as you stretch for him, gripping the leather of the seat behind him. “So, fucking tight.” You were so wet he felt you dripping onto his thighs and yet you squeezed him so tight it was like you weren’t ready at all. “Is it too much?” It was so hard to speak when you held him like that, but something wasn’t right. He needed you to feel good. It wasn’t worth it otherwise, meant too much to fuck it up like this.

You’re nodding your head in response, entirely against your will. You’d failed him. You finally get to take it to the next level, and you can’t even take him. You were mortified. You were disappointed. You were devastated. You’re ready to give up, accept this as the mistake it must be, he doesn’t share the same sentiment. “Gonna try something different, okay?” He’s bringing your eyes to meet his. You’re so shocked. If it were anyone else, you’d have been discarded like dirty laundry. You’d be no fit for use. But Luke? Luke wasn’t giving up on you. He’d try a thousand times to get it right if that’s what it took to please you, to give himself to you the best way he could. You had never felt so loved in your life.

His cock can’t help but twitch when he sees your panic. “Trust me?” You nod profusely, it wasn’t necessary, but you were so close to losing it you couldn’t be stopped. “Think you can lie down for me?” You nod again. It takes all of your combined energy to pull away from each other. It feels like you’d lost a piece of yourself when you moved away. You’d collided and now been torn apart prematurely and the part of you that finally felt whole, was gone again.

You slipped off his lap, seating yourself back where you’d started. Luke’s shuffling around, removing his jeans completely before moving over, pulling your legs apart for him to slip between. You curse yourself once more for missing out on witnessing him naked for you, but your mind was racing with other information. He hadn’t warned you before his cock pushed past the threshold of your entrance. Instead, he eases himself in. Your cunt instinctively squeezing him at the intrusion.

“Oh, fuck.” He cried when he slid inside, his full length splitting you open. This angle was better, he’d fit, he’d not struggled and yet, you’d never felt so full in your life. He watches your expression, your eyes sealed shut, lips parted, cheeks burning. He watches you until you show any signs of regret or pleasure. He would stop immediately if you needed it. You just whimpered and moaned, and it was filth to his ears. His cock was so painfully hard he couldn’t hold back any longer. He did that to you; he didn’t even have to move either. He’d got you looking fucked out, crying for him and he’d barely started.

“Can I move?” He’s trying to keep his tone calm but he’s breathless. “Please baby, I gotta move.” His thighs are shaking. He’s gripping the seats like his life depended on it and it probably did. Your heart is warmed at the fact he’d asked. It shouldn’t feel anything of the sort with him so fucking deep inside you, ready to fuck you into oblivion but you did, he was so perfect. You nod your head, leaning up to capture his lips in a kiss. “Fuck me.” Please, please, please, you thought. “Give it to me.” He kisses you back, retracting his hips simultaneously before dipping back in. “So, fucking beautiful.” He mutters. “Fucking your best friend.” It felt so dirty hearing it from him like this. But that is exactly what you were doing. Your hands are reaching up around his waist, clawing into his back when he ruts deeper, the car starting to rock with each movement of his hips. “So deep in you.” You choke after a particularly harsh thrust. “So good.” You’re stuttering it. Hearing your broken panting is nearly enough to send him over the edge.

He didn’t rock his hips quickly this time, not wanting to overdo it, to break you so soon. Instead, he slows himself. He’s grinding his hips down into you with a precision you’d never known before. “All you can say?” He teased. “You’re lucky you feel so good.” You warn him. “If I could think straight, you’d be done for.” He nips at your shoulder before layering it with kisses. “Is that so?” You whimper when his body lowers over yours. His body is no longer held up above put pressed into you. The new position providing more stimulation than the last. The closeness had his pelvis rocking into your clit. The extra stimulation leaving your cunt clenching and tingling, bursting with pleasure.

“Fuck, feel you tightening.” He’s starting to speak but quickly losing his train of thought at your body’s natural response to him. He’s wincing like it hurts him when you squeeze. In reality he’s just holding onto his load by a thread, ready to bust at the seams. He didn’t think he’d be able to pull out if he did. You probably should have thought of that sooner. He couldn’t exactly ask now. He should though. “Need it.” Your sweet whining brings him back. “What?” He’s losing himself in your eyes. Dark, lust filled and reading him like a book. “Need you to cum inside.” He’s gripping the seats so tight the material is about to tear. Just when he’d worried he’d made a fatal error you swoop in and save him. You wanted him inside. He didn’t have to move, he wanted so badly to stay, and you let him as if you knew. You knew how fucking feral he’d go hearing it dripping from your lips like that, a sultry dream. He needed this, needs to cum, needs you to feel it, everything he’s got.

He picked up his pace, abandoning his previous rhythm. He was going to pound into you so hard you’d be begging him to be the only man in your life for eternity. He would give it to so good you never had to wonder where your loyalties may lie. You were going to be his and no one else’s if it killed him. No one could ever fuck you like he could. “Fuck, tell me you’re mine.” You feel startled by the request. Not because it’s out of the ordinary but because you thought he’d have to be mad not to know it already. Not when the request alone had you cumming around him the moment the words touched your ears. You felt it so hard, it was a wonder you hadn’t blacked out. Your walls a tightening mess, thighs wrapped around Luke’s waist so tight you couldn’t feel the shake in them, stabilised by his frame. Oh, you felt it in your core though. Holy shit, you’d not cum so hard for so long. He hadn’t even realised you’d done it at all. It felt so unreal that you’d even doubted it yourself. Finishing from a sentence, from fucking without the aid of touching yourself, simply unheard of. Maybe you really were his.

“I’m yours, all yours.” It had never been truer. His eyes close as he lets the words float around in his brain over and over. “Yeah? All mine? Belong to me?” You don’t think you could ever profess it enough. You instead move your hands, wrapping them around his neck, bringing his chest down into yours. You lift your head from the seat, your lips coming to his ear as he slows himself, meeting you halfway. You’re whispers send him right over the edge, tumbling towards his demise. He’s grunting, spilling inside you, hips slowly grinding before coming to a halt. He’s muttering sweet sentiments. “You’re so pretty. So good, fuck baby.” His head is spinning. He’s so blissed out he felt like he wasn’t even with you, he was on a whole other plain. You’d taken him to heaven, you’d actually killed him. What a pleasure it was to be killed by you. He was utterly destroyed.

He’s trying to hold himself up, arms on either side of your head. He’s not looking at you, more your bodies still entangled. He looked so conflicted. You try not to imagine the worst. He can’t regret you already. You’d only just ended. Usually, it took some time. He at least should drop you home before that kind of clarity kicks in. Your heart picks up speed again. A panic starting to drip a sweat over your brow. You don’t want this to end like that. “Stop that.” He places a singular kiss to the tip of your nose and the thoughts are erased. “I can practically hear your thoughts” He kisses you again so nonchalantly. “I’m just thinking about moving.” You try not to sigh so loud with relief, but you fail miserably and he’s laughing because it’s so effortlessly you. “Probably should have planned that better.” He’s scolding himself and his tone is light and airy, and you don’t feel so scared anymore. He was right before when he said nothing would change. The only difference was the physicality.

“Why couldn’t you be shorter? We could have lay here for a while.” He’s glad to hear your laughter returning even if it is at his expense. “In my defence, I’ve never done it in a car before, I’m sure there’s a way of doin it, I just don’t know it.” Your eyes widen. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He’s furrowing his brows above you. “I thought this was exactly the location 2018 Luke would be going for.” He gasps in offence. “Sorry to disappoint, it’s all beds for me.” You don’t believe him for a second. He’d had some messy eras. You reckon he just forgot them or tried his hardest to.

“Why have you?” You smirk. “Might have.” There’s that gasp again before a moment of confusion. “Wait, you don’t have a car.” He needs to investigate further. “Correct.” He’s thinking. “Matt didn’t have a car either.” Of course, only he would mention your only ex immediately after your first time together. Very on brand for him. “Did you fuck in my car?” You struggle to contain your laughter. “No! What the fuck?” You shove him. “Thank God, that would have been awkward.” You snort. “More awkward than this sorry excuse for pillow talk?” He pecks your nose for the last time before beaming an infectious smile down at you.

“Not to ruin the moment or anything but uh, will you drive me home now?” He’s suddenly reminded of the purpose of this entire event. He was apologising and giving you a lift. “That’s why we fucked then, just wanted that trip.” You nod along with him. “Mmhmm, didn’t bring my purse, gotta pay my way somehow.” He rolls his eyes. He’s amazed by you. You manage to make his heart pound and dick throb all from making jokes with him still buried inside you. “You fuck all your uber drivers?” You shrug the best you can beneath him. “Only the hot ones.”

It takes you both a little time to dress yourselves. The moment he pulls out you’re sighing and missing the feeling. He’s just as devastated to leave you empty, the sight of his finish leaking from you certainly made up for the fact though. You don’t miss your opportunity to check him out this time. His shoulders are so broad and so freckled. You’d never really noticed that before, always assumed he was pasty beneath those clothes. You were pleasantly surprised. He was a work of art in every manner of the word. “You’re so pretty, you know that?” He’s knelt in front of you stark naked and yet it’s your words that bring him to blushing. “You might have mentioned it.”

Once he’s dressed his bottom half, he moved to help you. He’d gathered as many items of clothing as he could, your shirt and your vest, your bra was certainly gone forever. You sit up straight, bottom half not moving for the risk of making a larger mess than you already had. You were thankful the seats were leather. You both ignore the elephant in the room, well vehicle, for as long as possible before eventually addressing it, looking to the pool of his cum on the seat. “How bout we get these off?” He tugs your shredded tights. “Can use them as a, um, temporary fix.” He cringed as he said it. It was a very sensible idea despite the uncomfortable subject. You work to remove them, cleaning the best you can. “Think you’ll sit in the front seat this time?” You ponder it. “I don’t know about that one.”

You find yourself in the passenger seat just minutes after he asked. Which surprises neither one of you. He’s sat shirtless beside you, even though he’d located his shirt. His glasses are once sitting pretty on the bridge of his nose. You can’t help but admire the marks you’d gifted him. You welcomed the eye candy with open arms. His hand reaches to rest on your bare thigh every now and then. Each touch a bolt of lightning to your senses. You were almost distracted enough not to notice he’d made another diversion. “Thought you were taking me home.” You stare at him like he’s crazy, maybe it was you who was the crazy one, too fucked out to see straight. You wouldn’t put it past yourself. “I am.” He didn’t seem phased by your inquiry. “This isn’t the route to my house babe.” You drop the babe in for sass, but he quite likes the sound of it anyway. “No, I said I’d drive you home.” He turns to smile at your puzzled expression, lips ready to part with an argument before he cuts you right off. “Never said I meant your home.”

Lady and the tramp - Calum Hood

a/n: I'm sorry for any historial inacuracies! I wrote this from the top of my head

Contents: description of abuse, royal courting, tooth rotting fluff, smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f recieving), creampie, mentions of pregnancy.

You were to be wed to your horrible fiancé, but when you spot a beautiful tall man, you think your luck has changed.

Royal!Calum x Royal!Reader (fem)

You looked in the mirror while you applied your favorite rouge to your cheeks. Tonight was the annual Hood ball, since sir Arthur Hood became king, this became a tradition. Every year lavish parties were thrown to celebrate his reign.

Your fiancé, William, which you were bethrothed to since you were 16, grabbed your arm and dug his nails into your skin. "We cannot be late, y/n. You know Arthur is expecting us." He looked into your eyes sternly. Your lady in waiting, Arabella, watched this happen, knowing if she intervened she would get punished.

"I know, i'm almost ready, i'm terribly sorry" You apologized, wincing from the pain. "Good. We'll be leaving in ten minutes." He replied. Finally releasing your arm, he left the room, allowing you to finish your preparations.

Tears started to form in your eyes, while you rushed to Arabella. "I don´t think i can take this much, Bella." You hugged her. She had been your only friend since you were wed to William.

"Be strong, y/n." She told you, wiping your tears. "You'll get through this, I promise." Making you smile.

"Let me help you get ready, maybe you'll find a new husband." She laughed, making you giggle and sniffle. "Suck in." She said, tightening your corset while you placed your hands on your mirror, scrunching your face.

You were wearing a beautiful lavender gown, with your hair put up and slighly curled. You also wore an expensive pearl necklace and white gloves. The epitome of class, you looked absolutely gorgeous.

You turned to Arabella. "How do I look?" You asked. "Splendid." She replied, smiling. She gave you a final hug. "We'll see each other soon." You grinned. "When I get back, I'll tell you all about it."

The ride to the castle was long and arduous. You felt your stomach turn into knots, especially because your fiancé was right by your side, keeping an eye on you.

When you finally got out of your carriage, you observed an extraordinarily large castle, with a huge water fountain, and yards of bright green shrubbery. The night was cold, but William refused to give you his coat.

You walked in with your arm intertwined with your fiancé, getting lost in the big castle. When you finally found the ballroom, it was enormous, checkered floors with gold marble statues, big chandeliers and what seemed to be hundreds of tables.

Loud classical music was playing and you saw hundreds of unfamiliar faces laughing and chatting. You wished you could be as relaxed as them, talking with your partner.

You heard your fiancé hum pleasantly, meaning he was satisfied with what he saw, you on the other hand were terrified. "I don´t know how to dance William, i´ve never been to a ball." You told him. "You´ll learn now, don´t give me attitude." He replied, making you put your head down.

Your eyes locked on one particular man. He was the only one who was sitting down, and he was munching on a quiche, with crumbs all over his suit.

He was astonishingly handsome, fluffy dark hair and soulful deep brown eyes, his bushy eyebrows framed his face perfectly. You giggled, observing the strange sight of the handsome brute.

Women started gathering at one side of the room, while men on another, signifying that the dance was about to start. The mysterious man didn´t get up, instead watched, smiling.

Your fiancé whispered in your ear. "Don't ruin this for me, y/n." Your breath hitched in your throat as you nodded.

You walked up to William, and tried to fit in as much as possible, placing your hand on his and twirling around, looking like a scared little bunny.

The stranger noticed this, he leaned over from his chair, furrowing his eyebrows. He had never seen such a beautiful woman before, you looked stunning in your dress that moved with evey step you took.

He also noticed your fiancé, which had an angry expression, watching over you like a hawk, mentally critiziing every step you took.

When the dance was finally over, William whispered in your ear "We´ll have a talk when we get home." A man came up behind him and greeted him, prompting a sappy conversation. This was your chance to run and dissapear into the crowd.

You picked up your pace, looking over your shoulder to make sure William wasn´t following you, when you bumped into a tall stranger.

"I´m so sorry." You scrambled to find words, when you looked up to see the same person you locked eyes 20 minutes ago. "It´s no problem at all." He smiled.

"What´s wrong?" He asked. You stuttered "Nothing, i´ll be on my way." You replied. "What is a beautiful princess like you running away from?" He asked you.

You gulped. "My fiancé." You covered your mouth, having blurted out very personal information. He raised an eyebrow. "What did he do?" He asked.

The cat´s out of the bag now, you thought. "He´s horrible, he made me come to this ball when I don´t even know how to dance!" You exclaimed, making him chuckle.

"I don´t really like these types of things too." He said, making you laugh in surprise. "What´s your name, if I may ask?" He inquired.

"y/n y/l/n" You replied. "What about yours?"

"Calum." He said. "And your last name?" You questioned.

He started blushing. "Hood." You opened your eyes. "Calum Hood? Like Arthur Hood?" You asked, making him nod.

"Oh my God, I´m so sorry sir-" You exclaimed, and he stopped your sentence, smiling. "It´s fine, you can call me Calum, it´s not your fault i´ve been born into this family."

"Why aren´t you dancing? I can see all those ladies in waiting swooning over you." You smiled. "They´re boring, i´d much rather be with you." He smiled.

Your breath hitched in your throat. "Um, aren´t you married to anyone?" You stuttered. "Yes, she´s pretty and all, but I got married for political reasons, and i´m pretty sure she´s not faithful." He winked.

"Oh." You laughed awkwardly. "Would you like to see the gardens with me?" He asked. You looked back at William, who was clearly preoccupied with a ginger woman, swiping her hand on his arm. "Yes, I would like that." You replied.

He stuck out his hand and yours met his. You felt the ruggedness of his hand through your gloves.

The garden was massive, with hundreds of different flowers and bushes. The air was crisp and chilly and the night sky was clear. Calum saw you shivering and took off his expensive coat to give it to you. "There´s really no need, sir-I mean, Calum." You told him. "It´s my pleasure, y/n." He answered.

He sat down on a marble bench, and patted at his side, prompting you to sit down. You smelled his scent on his coat, he smelled of musk and roses.

There was a calm and comfortable silence. "I can´t believe you´ve never been to a ball, princess." Calum said, breaking the ice. "Yeah, i´m mostly cooped up in my room. I like to write, and paint." You said softly.

"Why are you here with me?" You asked. "Do I need a reason?" he said back, making you smile. You shook your head to signal a "no".

"Do you like being royalty?" You blurted out. "No, not really." He answered. "I feel like a chess piece, being married for political alliances, I can never be who I want, love who I want. It´s given to me like a prophecy, I can never get rid of it." You nodded. "I understand."

You noticed a statue that looked just like him. "You don´t like the statues?" You laughed, making him grin. "I hate those statues, they look hideous." He laughed. "I think i´m much more handsome in real life."

He noticed the bruises on your arms, when your gloves were pulled down, tracing his hands on them. His touch stirred nerves which you never knew you had inside of you. "Did he do this to you?" He said, and you knew exactly who he was talking about.

For the first time since you were a child, you felt safe. You nodded, with tears starting to form in your eyes, he lifted your head with his hands. "You deserve so much better." You looked up at him, starry eyed. You observed that he had a few beauty marks on his face.

At this point, the front parts of your hair had fallen out of your ponytail, framing your face. In the moonlight, you looked like a godess among men.

One part of your brain was telling you that this was wrong, and that you had to go back to your fiancé, but the other part knew that this felt right.

You slowly closed your eyes and placed a kiss on his lips. You felt him smile into it. He kissed you again, more passionately, his lips hungry for yours, while he held your face with both hands. "You´re so beautiful." He said, making you smile. "Nobody should ever make you feel this way, princess."

Your head was fuzzy, you couldn´t think straight, feelings that were buried deep inside you were being stirred, making you blush. Calum heard his name being called out, meaning he had to go back inside. "I wish I could stay here forever." You said. "Me too." Calum agreed.

"I hope to see you soon, y/n" Calum said. "Likewise." You replied, heading back inside the ballroom.

-----------------

Two weeks went by, slowly, all that was in your head was CalumCalumCalumCalum. You told Arabella all about your adventures. and she agreed that you should meet him again.

You were all he thought about. When he went to bed, when he had dinner with the royal family. when he went to shower. How he longed to touch your soft hands, and hold your delicate face.

While you were painting, you heard a knock on your door. "There´s been a letter delivered to you, Princess y/n." The guard said. You thanked him, and closed the door to your room.

To my beloved y/n:

I cannot hold it any longer, my heart aches for you. On Saturday, I will send you a carriage, at eleven in the morning, driven by my best men. If you don´t accept, please ask them to leave. But I hope you do see me.

From yours truly, Calum Hood.

You stood reading the letter, with your mouth wide open. You decided to accept, since your fiancé would not be home, this was a perfect opportunity to go see Calum.

You could not go to sleep, your body was on fire, every nerve longed for Calum´s touch. You´ve never felt this before, for anyone.

You stayed awake for the remaining of the night, painting, since you couldn´t go to sleep.

At the early hours of the morning, Arabella came into your room. "I´m going to go see Calum." You giggled. Arabella smiled. "When?" She asked. "At eleven, today." You replied, prompting her to hug you. "But you cannot tell William, or a single soul." You whispered. Arabella did an imaginative motion with her hand, zipping up her mouth and throwing away the key.

Counting the minutes to 11, you were outside waiting. Sure enough, there was a caarriage there. You looked to your guards for approval and nodded, then entered it.

Falling asleep, you woke up to a sudden stop. You had gotten to the castle, even more beautiful in the daytime.

The big gates were opened, and you wandered in, looking through the rooms was when you found him, sitting at a dining table. Both of your eyes lit up as you saw each other.

You ran up to him, and then realized you should be curteous, and bowed to him, making him laugh. "It´s okay y/n, nobody´s looking." You looked around, and gave him a kiss on the lips, making him smile. "I missed you." He said. "It´s only been two weeks." You giggled. "That´s already too much." He replied.

"Shall I give you a tour of the castle, m´lady?" He said, bowing sarcastically. "You may." You giggled and grabbed his hand.

You both ran througout the castle, going through the main hall, the kitchens, bathrooms, laundry rooms, all the guest chambers and the cellars.

"I have one more thing I want to show you." He said, grinning, and taking you up a big flight of stairs.

You both entered a gigantic room, with a huge red bed and a few giant paintings of Calum. "Welcome to my chambers, m´lady." He grinned while you had your mouth wide open. You let go of his hand and went to explore, touching all of the furniture and the bed. "I think this is the best room." You smiled, making Calum chuckle.

You couldn´t help but laugh at the paintings, depicting Calum in various positions, posing. "I know, those paintings are ridiculous." He blushed. "I think they´re marvelous." You giggled. "Very fancy."

You turned around to see Calum standing in front of you. "I think you´re much more handsome in person, sir." You told him, making him smile and roll his eyes. "You really think so?" He asked. "Of course." You replied, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, whispering "Well, I think you´re beautiful too, y/n." Kissing your neck. You couldn´t help but moan into his kisses, making your body feel on fire.

"Calum - William is expecting me soon." You stuttered. "Does William make you feel like this?" He asked, grazing his hands on your ass. You shook your head signaling a no. "Then fuck him, you don´t deserve him."

William had sex with you, but it was never something for your pleasure. He got himself off and that was it. Calum felt different, he felt like he cared.

You pulled him into a kiss, grabbing him by his collar and dragging him onto the bed. Making him smile. When the kiss was broken, you observed his messy hair and his big grin.

Today, you opted to not wear a corset, and wear a simple blue dress. Just your luck, you thought.

He pointed to the hem of your dress. "May I?" He asked. You nodded. "Please." Making him grin. "Good girl."

"You look so beautiful, let me make you feel good, princess." He said, dragging his eyes up at you, observing every curve in your body.

He unclasped your bra and took off your underwear, gently making you lay down on the huge bed.

You clenched your legs together, in embarassment while Calum placed sloppy kisses from your mouth to your stomach. "No need to be shy, princess. You look gorgeous." He said, making you blush, and gently parting your legs with his hands.

You hid your face in your hands, covering your blushing. You felt his hot breath on your core. You had never felt like this in your life. A carnal desire for someone.

His tongue finally made contact with your soaking pussy. Making you throw your head back, as he lapped long stripes inside of you. "Oh-oh my God." You moaned, while gently grabbing a handful of his hair, making him audibly groan.

With your back arching off the matress, he used his toungue in meticulous pattern, rubbing circles against your clit that had you squirming.

"You taste amazing, y/n." He said, in between licks, making you blush at the praise, rolling your eyes back into your head.

You felt like there was a rubber band about to snap inside of you. "I´m close, Calum." You groaned, as you felt your pussy twitch in electryfing pleasure. "Come for me." He said with a deep gravel in his voice.

You felt that cord snap, cumming all over his face, coating his stubble. "Holy fuck." You laughed.

"Take off your clothes please, I want to see you." You begged Calum. "Your wish is my command, princess." He took off his long sleeve shirt. "You have tattoos, they´re beautiful." You said, trailing your hands through his biceps.

"Thanks, princess." He smiled, taking off his pants and his boxers. You watched his erection spring up, hitting his stomach, making your jaw drop. Precum was bubbling on his tip.

"I need you inside me, Calum." You mewled. "So needy..." He chuckled. "Please."

Grabbing your back with his large hands, he slowly filled you up. making sure you were getting used to his size. "Are you okay?" He asked. You just nodded, biting your lip. "You can move now." You told him. His opened mouth turned into a long drawn out moan,

The stretch turned into pleasure, while he pushed into you, you made obscene noises, looking him in the eyes making him go absolutely feral. "You're gonna be the death of me, y/n." He groaned.

He started picking up the pace, while your nails scratched his back, he was wincing at the pain, but he enjoyed this very much.

You were moaning wantonly, and he pressed his hand against your stomach, only doubling your already unbearable pleasure even more.

"I´m gonna come, please fill me up, Calum." You moaned, not even thinking about the words that you said.

There was always the risk of pregnancy, if you were to get pregnant, you could be forced to marry him, but you didn´t think it was a bad idea after all.

"Yeah, want me to fill you up with my babies?" He moaned, while you bit your lip. "Yes, please, that´s all I want."

Calum´s weight on you, and the way his cock drives into you makes your eyes roll back, your brain going fuzzy. Every nerve inside you being stimulated at the same time.

"Oh god - Oh, Calum!" You exclaim, clenching your walls. "Cum for me, y/n, wanna see that pretty pussy cum all over my cock." Like a button was pressed, you gushed all over him, panting.

He buries his face into your neck, and you feel hot ropes of cum inside you, you ride him through his orgasm, watching his muscles relax.

He smiled and tucked your hair behind your ear. "Let´s get you cleaned up, shall we, princess?" You smiled and nodded. "That would be great, thank you."

Grabbing a wet washcloth, he helped you clean up, and put your dress back on.

You both laid down, facing each other.

"Your fiancé never touched you like this?" He had a soft expresison on his face. "Not really, just got off for himself if i´m being honest." You replied.

"What a cunt." He rolled his eyes. You burst out laughing. "Yeah, you could say that." You smiled.

Your expression turned serious. "You know there´s a chance we could have a baby, right?" You asked him. "Yes, I know." He softened his gaze. "You´d have to marry me." You added. "Yes, I know." He repeasted and smiled.

You smiled back. "Would you like that?" He asked. "I would love it." You grinned back.

Smoothies

Summary: Luke brings you smoothies. 

Warnings: pure fluff <3

Word count: 317 ( I was STRUGGLINGGG i’m sorry) 

Masterlist | Requersts (always welcome } Tell me your thoughts | 

You stare, absolutely shocked at the man standing in front of you. 

You got up once you heard the door open, knowing Luke was on his way home from the studio. You didn’t think you’d find this. 

Your mouth hangs open in awe, and you start laughing not knowing any other way to convey how in shock you are. 

Luke stands in the doorway to the living room, an innocent smile cheekily playing at the corners of his soft pink mouth. His blue eyes alight with mischief. 

“Baby,” You chuckle, trying to stop but you just stare, your hands waving in front of you trying to make up for the words you can’t find. “W-what?” You ask, blinking up at him. 

“I wasn’t sure which flavor you would want,” Luke says, a huge smile on his face. “So..” He shrugs. “I got all of them,” He beams, nodding down at his arms full of small smoothie cups. 

“Luke, you could’ve just texted me.” You laugh, shaking your head at the man. 

He just shrugs off your comment, lifting his arms and taking a sip of one of the smoothies. “Where’s the fun in that?” He jokes. 

You smile up at him lovingly, making your way to stand in front of him, “what in the world did I do to deserve you?” You ask him in a whisper, standing on your tiptoes and softly kissing his lips. 

He pecks your lips once more before pulling back and smiling down at you, “I could say the same thing, baby. I love you," he whispers. 

“I love you, more.” You tell him, falling back down on the heels of your feet. You look down at his full arms, shaking your head once again, before plucking a few of the cups away, turning around and setting them on the coffee table. “Where should we start?” You ask, looking up at him.

Taglist (click HERE to join) 

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Could you do one where y/n is part of the 5sos crew on tour. She also has always been their close friend. Especially to Luke. While playing their show in Amsterdam, he suddenly realises that he had feelings for y/n.

Amsterdam

Luke Hemmings x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warning: Very small amount of swearing

Note: Thank you so much for the request! :) I hope you like it, and to anyone reading, please don't hesitate to send in more requests 🤍

You stared out the slightly dirty window of the 5sos tour bus, encapsulated by the many cyclists and artistic buildings stacked along the streets of Amsterdam.

It was the seventh night of The 5 Seconds of Summer Show World Tour and you were currently on your way to park the bus at the Ziggo Dome, the boys already hyped up to see their fans again.

You had been on the road with them for the entirety of the tour so far, working as their assistant whenever they needed something or had to haggle with employees of the different venues.

As well as their assistant, you were also joining them as a now long-time best friend of theirs, knowing the boys since you had met Luke at a party after the release of Sounds Good Feels Good, him and you quickly becoming close. He had taken little time to introduce you to the rest of the boys, quickly after you both became friends. However, you and Luke had always been the closest and not long after you met, you couldn’t help but develop a small crush on the lead singer, knowing it was wrong and that he only viewed you in a platonic way. That thought hurt your heart so you buried your true feelings deep below your skin and carried on as friends.

When you first met Luke in 2015, he had a girlfriend, who you couldn’t help feel a little jealous of as your crush developed on him. When they split in 2017, you felt ashamed that you had screamed internally with excitement and danced around your apartment a little. Even though you felt awful for Luke at the heartbreak he had felt at the time, you couldn’t deny to yourself that you had never really liked his girlfriend anyway. You always thought she treated him badly and just used him. Although you were happy they had split, you never showed that to him and instead you were by his side each step of the way to help him heal.

He had been through a lot the first few years you knew each other, and you had been his rock through all of his struggles and pain. But also through his happy days and highs. This had brought you closer together than anyone else could ever be.

“Y/N!”

You were suddenly ripped from your people watching and daydreaming, big blue eyes landing on you as you turned your head to where the excited voice was coming from.

“You were so out of it there” Luke laughed, his curly blond hair bouncing slightly.

You laughed in reply, nodding your head as you couldn’t rip your eyes away from his sparkling ones and his cute little dimples that were popping out as he laughed.

“Anyways, we are almost at the venue,” Luke began, “but me and the boys were wondering if you wanted to explore the city before soundcheck?”

You nodded enthusiastically as you tucked a stray hair behind your ear, smiling up at Luke who was leaning his elbow on the seat you were currently sitting on, his tall form towering over you and the smell of his cologne tingling your senses.

“Hell yeah, I would be well up for that” you replied, as Luke did a little happy dance at your reply. You giggled at how cringe he was, but you deeply loved it.

You stood up slowly and balanced yourself on the head rest of the seat, so not to fall over as the bus pulled into the parking area.

Luke gave you a soft smile and pulled his arm around your waist to steady you a little.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you”

Your heart warmed at his words and your stomach flip-flopped, the mixture of his firm arms around you, his hand tickling your hip and his kind words made you feel exceptionally dizzy. You desperately wished that you didn’t have to feel this way about him, because he certainly didn’t. You knew that, to him, this was just a mere friendship and he felt nothing when he touched you or hugged you, and that hurt so much more than the pain you felt over the years whenever you would see him dance with or kiss other girls.

“Thanks” you whispered in reply, as the bus slowed to a stop outside the venue.

“Alrighty, let’s go explore?” Michael piped up, standing and pulling a cap over his baby pink hair. “You coming Y/N?” He continued as you gave him a quick thumbs up.

“Of course!”

The five of you strolled down the streets of Amsterdam, stopping to buy little snacks and treats, as well as taking a quick look inside the Anne Frank House. You had stopped at a cute little clothing store, finding a furry pink coat that you had quickly forced Luke to put on, and taken a million pictures of him, gushing about how much it suited him. He had done a few poses in the long, narrow mirror that was propped against the dimly lit back area of the shop, before finding a matching pink cowboy hat and placing it on your head.

“How cute do we look?” He joked, as he snapped a quick picture of you both in the mirror, your bodies pressed against each other’s. You hoped and prayed that he couldn’t feel your heart beating out of your chest as your side was tucked into his, and as he leant his head against the top of yours.

“Oi you two, we are hiring bikes now, come on!” Calum shouted from the front door of the shop. You helped Luke pull off the pink coat before you both dashed out of the shop, catching up with the others who were now paying at a small bike kiosk.

You climbed onto one of the bikes as Ashton started peddling quickly past you, his curly hair blowing in the wind as you quickly peddled up beside him.

“Race you!” You joked as his eyes widened, the two of you trying to out-do one another.

“Hey suckers” Calum sang as he soared past the two of you on his own bike, instantly beating the both of you. You and Ashton looked at one another, rolling your eyes in amusement.

“Cheat!” Ashton yelled to Calum as you laughed at the pair, “Yeah Calum, such a cheat!” You called in unison with Ashton.

“What the fuck, how?” Calum laughed from in front, “you’re both just salty that I am a master cyclist” he boasted jokingly.

You started peddling slower so that Michael and Luke could catch up, who were just riding calmly and chatting with one another.

You smiled as you let the soft wind blow your hair backwards, admiring the trees dotted along the pavement and listening to the laughter of others as they walked hand-in-hand beside you or sat with their picnics on the grass that surrounded you.

“You look really pretty” Luke mused, as he struggled to balance his bike whilst cycling beside you, gazing over at you.

You turned your head to look at him, his cheeks tinted rosy pink as he realised what he had just said.

You felt your face go hot as the corners of your lips tilted upwards a little, your heart now hammering again, the happy noises around you suddenly drowning out.

“Um-I mean-” Luke stuttered.

“I mean, I’m very lucky to have such a pretty friend.”

Your heart sank a little at that. Friend. That’s all you would ever be to him.

You gave him a quick smile to say thanks, trying to shake his words off of you but not able to stop the word friend spinning in circles around and around in your brain, taunting at you and laughing at you.

Eventually you and Luke pulled your bikes to the side of the canal, colourful little and bigger boats dotted in lines down the side of the water bank. In your state of being lost in thought, you hadn’t even realised that you had lost the other boys.

“I think we lost the others” Luke said, circling his bike around slowly with his hands as he tried to find any sight of them.

“Oops” he continued when he couldn’t see them anywhere. He turned to look at you again, as you slipped back into your own thoughts.

“Y/N, you okay?” Luke asked, “you’ve been pretty quiet the last ten minutes.”

Luke had a small concerned frown on his face, his eyebrows slightly creased as a small curl fell in front of his left brow. This made you smile a little again, not being able to help yourself. He always looked so cute when he pulled his pouty frown-y face.

You shook yourself out of your thoughts, not wanting Luke to think something was up and start questioning further.

“Sorry no I’m fine, just lost in thought and enjoying the surroundings” you replied as Luke nodded in understanding, seemingly taking your explanation for fact.

“Hey, you want to take a short boat trip on the canal?” He asked, motioning towards one of the boats where a small man was leaning again the door that led into the boat, puffing on a cigarette with his arms folded, a small sign next to him, welcoming aboard passengers.

You excitedly nodded and leant your bike on the grass below you, “Yes definitely, I’ve always wanted to try this in Amsterdam, such a romantic thing to do-” you rambled, suddenly realising what you had just said and stopping yourself, looking bashfully at the ground and cursing at yourself in your head.

Luke chuckled beside you and entangled his hand with yours, pulling you closer towards the boats.

Your heart picked up in speed again as you let Luke hold your hand, his warm grip melting away all of your embarrassment and anxiety, the colours and blue sky around you suddenly feeling a little brighter.

“Very romantic indeed,” he chuckled, giving you a little wink before turning his attention to ask the small man about getting a quick canal tour.

You felt your breath fall away from you at his words but your head knew that he just probably said that as a joke, to make you feel better so you didn’t feel embarrassed, or maybe he was flirting? No he definitely wasn’t flirting, he only saw you as a friend.

The two of you sat at the railings of the outside section of the boat, side-by-side as you gazed up at the slow moving rows of old buildings, and listening to the calm waves of water that splashed against the edges of the boat.

Luke leaned closer to you, his shoulder brushing against yours, as he stared at you once again. You felt his gaze on you, suddenly a very nervous feeling washing over you. Every time Luke stared at you with that certain gaze, one that made you question if he really did like like you, you felt as if you couldn’t breath and that the whole universe suddenly became very dizzy and muffled.

“What?” You asked with a soft smile, finally turning to look at him. His blue eyes were shining as they melted into your own gaze, his lips turned a little upwards in a content smile, the blonde tufts, of the bottom of his mullet, tickled the back of his neck.

“Sorry,” he chuckled as he finally came back to reality, “nothing” he finished as he turned his attention back to the water ahead of you both.

“Forever a daydreamer, Luke” you giggled as you leant your head gently on his shoulder, him doing the same but instead atop of your head.

A few hours passed by, and you had eventually returned back to the venue for the show, finally meeting up with the other boys who were instantly jealous at the fact that the two of you had ‘sneaked’ off to a canal tour.

“We didn’t sneak off, if you all didn’t disappear and ditch us then maybe you could have come” Luke laughed as Calum rolled his eyes, “nah it was an elaborate plan to get rid of us!” Calum joked back, the boys already becoming silly and hyped up for their upcoming concert.

You had spent the next few hours running around and fulfilling your assistant duties, liaising with the venue staff and collecting drinks, snacks and equipment for the boys. As you dashed around, you heard loud chatter and excited cheering from the queues of fans outside, smiling to yourself and feeling intense pride for your best friends. You couldn’t be happier for them, and the fact that they were getting to fulfil their dream made your heart soar.

“Y/N, can you help me please?” Luke asked from behind you, half his body peering from behind the dressing room door.

You turned from setting up a tray of water bottles, nodding your head instantly without even knowing Luke’s request.

“Can you help me with my eyeshadow please?” He asked so innocently and softly, holding up a glittery palette and brush for you to take from him.

“Yes of course, let me work my magic” you giggled as you prized the makeup from his hands, and followed him to the dressing table which was situated in the corner of the room.

Soft rock music played in the background, a change from the normal loud music that they usually played before going on stage. The other boys had gone off elsewhere, probably to tune their instruments. You dipped the brush into the blue sparkly powder, Luke sitting on the seat below you as you hovered in front of him, your body situation in between his legs as you stood facing before him.

You dabbed the eyeshadow along his eyelids, swooping it out to create a small wing. You smiled at your work before re-focusing on making it look perfect.

The whole time Luke stared admiringly up at you, watching you as you intently made art upon his face, your free hand caressing his jawline to make sure his head stayed still in place.

You could feel his breath hitting your chin as both of your faces grew closer to one another’s, your own breath fanning his long lashes. You suddenly realised how close in proximity your lips were to each other’s, your noses almost brushing as you stopped applying the makeup for a short second. Your eyes flickered to his, which were already watching you closely.

“Hey” you whispered, letting your thumb run along his cheekbone ever so slightly, one of his blonde hairs curling around your pinky finger.

“Hey” he whispered in reply, as he reached his hand up to push one of your own strands of hair, which had fallen in front of your eyes, back to behind your ear, the cool metal of his rings brushing against your ear as he did so. You shivered a little at his touch.

“Just so you can see whilst doing my makeup” he spoke so softly, the soft beats of the music singing along to his gentle, velvety voice.

You nodded ever so slowly before casting your gaze back to your artwork, continuing on with his eyeshadow, as your heart rate sped up even more, breathing becoming heavier, and you hoped and prayed that Luke didn’t notice the state of anxious desperation you felt for him.

Suddenly a loud knocking was heard on the outside of the door, “Luke, five minutes until you need to be on stage!” You heard another of the employees yell from outside, you and Luke instantly locking eyes again. You quickly finished off his makeup and took a step back to admire your work.

“You look beautiful” you mumbled, a small smile on your lips as Luke’s cheeks became light scarlet.

He carefully stood up from his seat, once again towering over you and taking you in, with his eyes, for a short moment.

“I’ll see you after?” He questioned, acting as if he didn’t ask, then you would possibly disappear without a trace.

“Of course Luke, I’ll be waiting” you responded quietly.

“You’ll smash it, as you always do.”

The boys waved at the screaming and cheering fans, taking their places on stage as the bright orange curtain fell, the stage lights flashing and the beginning of ‘Bad Omens’ starting to play.

You took your place off the side of the stage, watching the boys begin to play and loose themselves to the feeling of euphoria, and to the rhythm of their songs. You danced a little and sang along as you did every night, grinning widely whenever Luke did his happy little bouncing movements, and whenever the crowd sang loudly to their lyrics.

‘Want You Back’ came to an end and Luke steadied his mic stand, lovingly looking out at the shining phone lights and happy fans in front of him.

“This next song is an old one” he began, as the crowd cheered crazily and excitedly.

“And I want to dedicate it to someone very special to me” he continued, the fans screaming even louder at his words.

“There’s someone in my life who I care for very much, someone who’s been by my side for the last eight years and whenever I’m with her-” he said breathlessly, the fans still going crazy over his small speech.

“I feel so disconnected from the world”

The fans cheered as the opening chords and lyrics of ‘Disconnected’ started playing.

For a moment you saw Luke turn and lock his eyes with yours, giving you a look from across the stage that made your heart batter against your ribcage, and almost knock you over from shock.

You didn’t want to be too presumptive but you were 100% sure that he had meant you, and when he gave you that look, you just knew.

As the set came to an end, the fans clapping and cheering as the boys took their final bow, waving and blowing kisses to the fans, you instantly felt nervous, impatiently waiting for Luke to be back with you.

Eventually the boys came tumbling off the stage, sweaty and full of their post concert high. Ashton galloped past you, giving you an excited hug, followed by Calum and Michael who were giggling with one another.

You smiled at them and congratulated them like you did after every show, matching their excitement.

You turned to face Luke who had just bounced off the stage towards you, his blonde hair all sweaty, the makeup you had delicately painted on him now a little smudged, but a huge grin still perfectly drawn on his face.

“You did amazing out there Luke, as always!” You cheered, as you pulled him into a warm hug. The two of you stood there in silence, arms wrapped around each other as the noise of the fans continued but began to die down a little as they began to leave.

“Did you hear my tribute?” He asked, suddenly becoming obviously nervous as he pulled away from your hug a little, but with his hands still grasping your sides.

You slowly nodded your head, unsure of what to reply, and hoping he would continue.

“Y/N, this is going to sound fucking cheesy and I might ruin our friendship saying this but I don’t give a fuck, I need to tell you” he began hurriedly, like if he didn’t say it fast enough then he would chicken out of what he was about to say.

“Whenever I’m with you, I find my sweet escape” he smiled, an air of confidence suddenly washing over him as he clearly knew how cringey he sounded but went with it anyway.

“And I’ve been worried for so long that you only thought of me as a friend and maybe you do, but Y/N,” he continued now more slowly.

“I fucking love you with all of my soul and mind and heart”

It took you a few moments to collect your thoughts, your whole body feeling weak and numb at his confession. You felt as if your heart just stopped, everything around the two of you blanking out as you stared dumbfounded into Luke’s worried blue eyes.

“What?” You asked, wanting him to say it again just to confirm it for you once more. Just to make sure that you hadn’t imagined the last minute that had passed by.

“I love you” he repeated, “and not in that platonic friendly I love you way, I love you like I love you” he rambled.

You laughed a little at his awkward way of wording his confession, but it made you fall for him even harder. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, clasping your hands behind the nape of his neck as he closely watched your movements, his breathing heavy and irregular.

“I love you like I love you, too” you repeated his words back, as he let his shoulders drop in relief.

“Can I-uhm” he began nervously.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Mhm”

Luke leant down slowly, his nose brushing the tip of yours softly, his warm breath hitting your lips as you let your eyes flutter shut.

All of the noise and commotion around you became nothing, it was just you and Luke entangled in each other’s arms.

Luke finally pressed his lips to yours, both of you melting into one another and becoming one, as you felt him pull you even closer to him, his hands squeezing your hips gently.

You felt his tongue caress your bottom lip, noses pressed firmly against one another’s now, your hands tangled in his hair, as your lips deepened against his, never wanting to let go.

As you finally pulled apart, breathing heavily and staring into each other’s souls, chests rising and falling, and hearts beating in unison, the noises around you slowly became louder again as you were brought back into reality.

“Fucking finally,” Michael bellowed from behind you.

“I was sick of listening to Luke pine for you since he basically fucking met you!” He laughed, clearly happy for the two of you.

You smiled up at Luke, twirling the wet strands of his hair around your fingers.

“You were pining for me?”

Luke blushed a little again, “Guilty” he shrugged a little.

You laughed and lifted yourself back onto your tip toes to re-attach your lips to his, the two of you falling back into your disconnected world away from reality.

daylight - lrh (songfic)

an: this song is stuck in my head and i figured it'd be an ouchie fic so im sorry

summary: songfic, daylight by maroon 5 (first verse / chorus)

pairing: luke hemmings x reader

warnings: angst maybe? it's sad.

word count: 767

Here I am waiting, I have to leave soon. Why am I holding on?

Luke lays under the cool silk sheets, your body close to his as he lightly caresses your face under the moonlight. He can't sleep.

He hasn't been able to sleep for weeks. He's been stressing about going off on tour, without you. He loved his job, he loved travelling the world and he loved his fans.

But he also hates his job, because it takes him away from you.

Tomorrow is the day he has to leave, you had fallen asleep pretty early, tired from helping him back and prepare. So Luke had been staring at you for hours, memorizing what your face looked like and touching every square inch of skin he could, trying to hold on to you.

We knew this day would come, we knew it all along. How did it come so fast?

Luke doesn't know why he's desperately trying to hold onto you when this day was inevitable, how could he be so upset when this day had been coming for months? Shouldn't have he accepted it by now?

He thought it was just yesterday that he came home to you, announcing that he could finally go back on tour after the pandemic. How happy you two were and how proud you were of Luke. There was so much love and happiness in that moment, yet that memory in Luke's mind has faded into a blue hue of hidden regret.

It's too soon. Luke begins having second thoughts. I can't leave.

This is our last night, but it's late. And I'm trying not to sleep. Because I know when I wake, I will have to slip away.

Luke has hit the point of exhaustion, he can barely keep his eyes open but he refuses to go to sleep. The moment he wakes up he has to get in the car and get on the road, you couldn't take him because you had a school priority that you couldn't get out of.

"That's okay," Luke had sighed when you told him that you wouldn't be able to see him off "you need to do what ya need to do YN"

Inside he was torn to shreds, knowing he couldn't kiss you at the gate made him not want to go through it.

So Luke kisses you now, soft kisses all over your face while you sleep, his soft lips lingering on your warm skin every few seconds as he makes sure to kiss every inch.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go, but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close. Because in daylight we'll be on our own. But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close.

You actually cried so much before bed. Once Luke got in the shower, you lost it. You were in such hysterics that Luke heard you from the bathroom and came out to comfort you, tears escaping his face as well.

As you held each other, Luke kept promising that he was never going to let you go. That he'd never let anything come between the two of you, that he'd hold you forever if he needed to. He made a slight joke that he wouldn't go if it made you stop crying.

Was it really a joke though?

What the big thing was about the next day, was that you two had never necessarily been separated for each other for a long period of time. You two had gotten together right before the pandemic started, so you spent all of your time at each other's houses. Moved in together pretty quickly, he hadn't gone anywhere for work and if he did you went with him, because of the pandemic you had online school.

But now with societal normalities back in place, you and Luke had to be separated from each other. Something that you both would have to learn how to deal with.

You two really didn't know how to exist without the other one on hand, some would say it was an unhealthy codependency but you and Luke were just happy.

What would you even do without Luke? It'd be so quiet. So empty. You'd no longer have his comfort coming back from class. No more making pancakes for him on Saturday mornings. Your routine will be all out of sorts, what will make up for it?

You tried not to think about it once it crossed your mind, instead, you let Luke hold you as you drifted off, sinking into the last night you had him next to you, dreading the daylight.

Steady Study

Summary: With his exams exhuming the next day, Luke wants to study, however he is realising that there are other things to do with his time, like spend it with you

Pairing: nerd!bf!Luke Hemmings x reader

Warnings: fluff, worrying of grades

“I cannot wait to ace that test tomorrow.” Luke mumbled as he allowed his azure eyes to scale through the words in the large study book that barely fit in his hands. He was wearing his glasses, the rims were circular with a winged hilt at the top corners, and his hair was askew from him ruffling his fingers through it earlier on. He was about to take his masters degree, and you were insanely proud of your boyfriend.

“You’re going to do great Lu.” You encouraged him as you stalked up from behind him after placing your steaming coffee down on the side table, and wrapped your arms around his giant shoulders. “After all, you already have all of this branded in your mind, you’ve been reciting it for the last month every time you’re talking in your sleep.”

His mouth tilted up at the sides from your voice as he leant down to give each of your hands an individual peck. “I know baby, I just feel like I have to keep reading it up until the last moment, because what if I forget something at the very last minute?” Luke stopped reading as he angled his head upwards to peer at your face, a slightly worried expression conforming his features.

“That’s not going to happen, and even if it did, you’re still going to pass with flying colours Lu. You’re the best in your class, so come into the kitchen and eat dinner with me pleeeaaassseeeee.” Apparently you were convincing as Luke inhaled deeply for the first time in hours and closed the book that had tried to starve him, he stood up on his long legs and followed you to sit down and eat.

The pair of you didn’t talk much over the meal, however it wasn’t awkward, in fact it never was, it was just comfortable. “Thank you for dinner baby.” He leant down and pecked your forehead as he grabbed your plate before you had a chance and headed over to the sink. He scrubbed the dishes, rotating the sponge around the radius of the ceramic, purposely standing in your way so that you couldn’t take over.

He was aware he’d been very distracted recently, and whilst it was for a good deed in consideration of his future, it had left you mucking out on most of the chores. He wanted to help, he had been stressed but so had you, he understood. “Go to bed darling, I’ll finish up here and join you. I won’t be long.” You obediently did as he said, walking up the stairs with heavy and tired lids as you eventually entered your bedroom.

You wanted to stay awake until Luke joined you, but you were just far too tired. When he finally came to join you Luke quirked a gentle smile, you were completely crashed out upon the mattress, your face mushed into the pillow as you gently breathed, the duvet drafted over your entirety like a warm cocoon.

He crawled in beside you, careful as to not awaken you, he was tired too if he were being honest. He glanced at the bedside table on his side, one of his many study books laying there, haunting him with an immediate passion. It wanted to be opened, and he had recently caved into continuously doing so, but instead he shut off the glowing lamp, ignoring it as he laid in silent rest with you.

You should do an agereg where little luke has to be baby sat by the other guys and misses caregiver

Babysitting

<33 i loved writing this

word count : 826

warnings : none

enjoy!

Being a caregiver and spending time with your little one was arguably one of your favorite things in the world, and if you could spend your entire life doing it day and night, you would.

But sometimes, it wasn’t possible. You did have to work, and every now and then your schedule lined up horribly with Luke being regressed. So, when this happened, you had to call up one, or multiple, of the other guys in the band to babysit him for a few hours or a day while you work, so that he didn’t have to pull himself out of headspace, and you didn’t have to call out of work. 

Today was one of those unfortunate days where Luke woke up tiny, and you had an early shift. Luckily, you were able to quickly call Michael to see if he was available. He couldn’t come over to watch him, but he and Crystal immediately offered to have Luke come spend the day at their house. You agreed, quickly packing up most of Luke’s toys, his pacifiers, bottles, onesies, and more, while he ate his cereal, and making a mess of it all over his face. You couldn’t help but laugh, helping him clean up before asking him to grab his shoes. 

“You’re gonna go spend some time with Mike and Crys today while I’m at work, okay, angel?” 

The happy little giggle that left Luke’s mouth was a sound you wished you could’ve recorded and played on loop. You loved him so much, and him being happy with the situation of the day took a lot of stress off your shoulders. 

About thirty minutes later, you had dropped off Luke with Michael and Crystal, him running into the house and nearly knocking Crystal over. He had barely noticed you giving him a hug and kiss when you were leaving, too busy playing with toys the couple had kept for him. Normally, you would be offended, but now, you were so happy that he was okay and ready for the day.

—

You were four hours into a six hour shift, and were wishing you could go home. The day hadn’t been difficult, especially due to the help with babysitting Luke, but you were still tired, and missed your baby. And it turned out, he missed you just as much, because about four minutes later, your phone rang with a FaceTime call. You excused yourself for a short walk around the building, quickly answering the call, only to see a worried Michael with a sobbing Luke. 

“Oh, sweetheart. What’s wrong?” 

Luke only continued to cry, shaking his head. Michael shrugged. 

“We don’t know. He all of a sudden burst into tears, and this has been going on for about thirty minutes. He won’t eat a snack, he doesn’t wanna play, he’s just crying. We figured he might open up to you a bit more.” 

Your face was soft, giving Luke a sad look. 

“What is it, little angel? Did something happen?” 

He just shook his head again, pointing at you through the camera. 

Okay, so he’s non-verbal.

“Me, baby? Do you miss me, bubba?” 

He frantically nodded, bursting into a fresh wave of sobs, hugging tight to Michael. Michael wrapped his arms around him, gently rocking him while he rustled his hair. Luke slipped his thumb into his mouth, and gently began suckling on it. 

“Baby boy, can you go get your paci and your bottle?”

Luke nodded, running out of frame to get his items. You spoke to Michael while Luke was gone into the other room.

“Get him a bottle, and try to get him down for a nap. He’ll argue about sleeping, gently reassure him that I’ll be home when he wakes up. He should sleep for about an hour and a half, maybe more.” 

Continuing your instructions, Luke wanders back in, baby blue paci pressed into his mouth as he rubs his eyes sleepily. He pushes his bottle into Michael, “Bubba”’s hand, making grabby hands for the phone. After it was handed to him, he pressed his lips onto the camera, giving you a “kiss”.

“Awww, somebody’s tired, aren’t they, bub?” 

A soft nod from Luke, and Michael easily wrapped his arms around him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“C’mon, buddy. Let’s say bye bye to Mommy, and we’ll see her after your nap!” 

Luke gave a half wave, yawning as Michael hung up with a promise that Luke would be just fine. And he was. When you got back to their house soon after work, Luke was curled up with Crystal, still fast asleep but woke up as soon as Mommy rubbed his back and kissed his forehead. He was immediately scrambling into your arms as soon as he realized who was holding him. Thanking Michael and Crystal for watching him, you two headed home and he spent the rest of his evening in your arms.

stay out of trouble || l.h.

in which luke and fem!reader protagonist meet at a fancy party. heavily inspired by an insecure episode.

tw: smut

5.6k

FEEDBACK IS ENCOURAGED AND APPRECIATED

i’m tired of dating apps. fuck them all. men there are the worst. i need a man who will not stand me up, will not ghost me, will not yell racist stuff at me. ahmal invites me to a party. he needs a date who will have him laughing nonstop, judging people everywhere. “you could’ve invited frank, man. you two seem serious enough to go to this giveaway party,” i roll my eyes as my friend puts on the blue eyeshadow i gave him for his birthday three months ago. “first of all, it’s a going away party. also, it’s a celebrity party, girl. i need you to hook me with some connections, mhm?” “dude, i left that world over a year ago. i can’t go back. it will suck me right in again.” ahmal tsks as he shakes his head no, but still looking at his reflection in the mirror. and then mine, right behind him. “now listen, not everything is about dating and finding the love of your life. you need some celebrity dick right about now. so come on, get the fuck up from my bed and help me fix my hair because i can’t let them see me in this state.” “i hate you.” “same, love,” he grins as i stand up and help him put on gel. he wants a dapper quiff. swears he looks just like liam hemsworth. well, minus the ethnicity change, of course. i just don’t see it.

the sun is setting and i watch the hollywood sign as we drive through the mulholland highway. “calabasas, huh?” i tease as i take out a blunt from the cigarette case in my hand, i also take my lighter and ahmal turns to me with a dead look in his eyes. “you light that here and i’ll throw you out of the car while we’re moving.” “you seem stressed.” “i really need a new agent,” he sighs. “i need someone who knows people. i can’t do shitty commercials all my life.” “then how come you got invited to this?” “nah, it’s just my friend tiffany, she’s moving to denver. known the girl since we were babies. of course i gotta be here. not my fault my baby is a star.” “and why didn’t she get you the connections?” “you’re too loud, love. shut up and let me drive.” i cross my arms over my chest. i’m annoyed.

the house we walk into is huge. it’s all beige and cream colors. little pops of green or blue here and there. high ceilings and a grand spiral staircase. it’s a full house. everyone’s wearing either black or blue. ahmal wears grey. i wear a turquoise top.  “tiffany, hey!” my friend yells to a woman across the room. i don’t feel so anxious anymore that i see her wearing a bright flower-patterned dress. she makes her way to us and i feel my hands go numb with the familiar cold that hits me whenever i’m nervous.  “you’re never gonna guess who’s here!” her voice goes an octave higher than i thought it would. she quickly grabs ahmal’s arm and turns him to face the food tables. tiffany points to a tan-skinned man with her martini glass.  “no way! calum! my man!” and just like that, he abandons us. he abandons me.  “don’t i know you from somewhere?” “uh, i’m ahmal’s friend.” “yeah, duh, but like… i feel like i’ve seen you somewhere.” “i’m…” my throat feels dry. “no. i’m not anywhere.” “where do you work?” i don’t know why she’s hitting me with all the hard questions but i feel tense. “i’m a lawyer,” i lie. she seems to smile. she also seems very drunk. “nice.”

“hey man, you left me there all alone for forty minutes. not cool, i’m going home,” i say in a low voice so no one thinks i’m having a tantrum. i also don’t want them to notice me. i haven’t been recognized. that’s good. i’ll take my last image to the grave. ahmal tilts his head and whispers in my ear, “you’re gonna wanna suck my dick for this,” he smirks and turns back to the group he was in just now. “guys,” he calls. “guys this is my friend…” he looks at me, “... martina.” martina? okay, i can work with this. “she’s a…” “a lawyer,” i interrupt quickly.  everyone seems surprised, but like, in a pleased way. i recognize the man standing right in front of me as calum. i will never forget his wide smile as he spotted ahmal earlier.  i got everybody’s name. michael, calum, andrew, ali, luke, ava. “half this group is the future of music. half this group is trash.” ava bursts out laughing and punches ahmal’s arm. i don’t know if it’s funny, i don’t know if i’m allowed to laugh at an inside joke. i’m clearly outside. “i wanna know if i’m the future of music or trash. i feel like i know what you’re gonna say.” “michael, don’t encourage him.” the woman named ali rolls her eyes. everyone starts talking about how trash has been trending in today’s memes.  “hey,” i hear someone’s soft whisper near my hairline. “you want a drink?” luke. it’s luke. “i.. uh,” i look up and find the most gorgeous blue eyes. he smells like wood and mint at the same time. “sure,” my smile is shy but i’m just glad to leave the other conversation.

“drink?” the bartender asks us and luke looks at me.  “uh… tequila sunrise.” i see luke mouthing the word wow. “what about you, sir?” the tall bleached-blond stares at me with a big smile and he shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s about to do. “whiskey, neat.” “wow. neat.” i tease him. maybe this is the guy that will not disappoint me. “i need to keep up, you know?” “right,” i flirt back. the bartender gives us our drinks. “do you smoke?"

we’re on the patio. a beautiful garden with a pool and pretty chairs and sofas surrounding a fire pit. luke sets an arm on the armrest. “you sure you don’t mind?” i ask from my spot on his side. “go ahead” “i feel like this is a trap.” he laughs. “it’s not. i promise.” i light up my cigarette. “i’ve been around a smoker for years.” i knit my eyebrows in confusion. “you met him earlier. calum.” “ah,” i nod my head and exhale the smoke in a thin line, towards the sky. the sun is about to set. “do you know how ahmal met him? because i had never heard about him. and ahmal is one of my closest friends.” luke shrugs, “calum’s secretive. but i have a feeling they’ve hooked up.” “oh, for real?” “shit,” he sets the whiskey glass on the small table in front of us, “maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this,” his expression reflects shame and embarrassment. he blushes. i smile. “it’s alright.” we sit in silence for what it seems hours. my hands suddenly go numb again.  luke just subtly shakes his drink before downing the rest of it. “one more?” i look down at my glass, almost done. “sure.” he stands up with both glasses and i admire his broad shoulders beneath the green silk shirt. “be right back,” he says. i smoke the rest of my cigarette when someone puts their hands on my shoulders. i almost jump, but i sure as hell scream. “whoa!”  everyone turns to look. i look behind me and i see ahmal with a smirk on his face. “i’m going to fucking kill you,” i mumble as i push the cigarette butt into the ashtray. “the urge will pass,” he replies and takes the seat luke was previously on. “so… are you loving him or what?” “wait, how did you know we were gonna hit it off?” “ugh, stupid male talk. you know how they are.” i scrunch my face. “i never know what you’re talking about.” “okay no, but for real. calum told me this dude is ready to get back in the game after he got dumped last year. he’s got a thing for women of color, he said.” “i feel targeted.” “you should feel lucky! that man is the lead singer and guitarist of 5 seconds of summer.” “that’s the guy that sings blender?” i ask, shocked. “you should look in a mirror, your face is priceless.” ahmal laughs. “take a picture and send it over. i’ll make a meme.” i can’t help but laugh, too. “you’re an idiot.” “what are you guys laughing about?” luke’s smile is almost worried. or something like that. maybe it’s because he wants in on the joke, maybe it’s because he thinks we’re judging him. or maybe he wants me alone. either way, i do what i’ve been doing a lot tonight. lie. i’ve lied about my name, my job, my living situation. i don’t have an apartment in west hollywood. it’s the paramount neighborhood. i don’t live by myself, i have two roommates. i bite my tongue and smile, “nothing, we just…” i look at ahmal, then back at luke. he’s still smiling awkwardly with our drinks in his hands. “hey, do you guys wanna get high?”

we sit on tiffany’s big ass balcony on the second floor. if you’re gonna be high, ahmal, make sure you use the bong i haven’t packed. it’s in the guest room.  bless you, he’d said. my friend passes me the glass bong and i bring it to my mouth. half my face is on this thing. luke hooks his arms on his knees and stares at the moon above us. we're sitting on the tiled floor.  “here,” i hold the smoke in my lungs as i hand the bong out to him. he seems reluctant. i hold my breath for three more seconds before i let it all out. “i thought we were gonna smoke joints,” he hesitantly grabs the bong. “you’ve never smoked from one of these before?” ahmal smirks. he looks over at me and i can’t believe i’m kinda pouting. that’s so cute, i think. “not really, no.” “are you gonna let us corrupt you?” i know my smile is devious.  “luke! luke!“ ahmal stars chanting. “luke! luke!” i join him. we see the musician try to smoke out of the bong, but he ends up coughing. “we’re bad people,” i say to ahmal. luke keeps coughing and starts laughing. “you two are the worst. i love you guys.” “he’s drunk,” ahmal says to me. “he’s so very drunk,” i agree. the cackle that leaves luke’s lips is devastating. i’ve never heard such a beautiful noise. it’s stupid, i know. i’m also very drunk. ahmal’s phone rings and it turns out it’s tiffany. she’s about to do a speech. “you don’t need to come,” he explains when he hangs up the phone and stands up.  “tiffany doesn’t want us to come?” luke pouts. “i think you two are shitfaced and i don’t want you to embarrass yourself,” he says to luke, “and i don’t want you embarrassing me.” “wow, real nice, man.” i flip him off. he opens the balcony door we had closed for obvious reasons. we didn’t want the guest room to reek of pot. “i’ll check back on you. now, stay out of trouble.” when he leaves, luke and i stare at each other and then look away. our eyes meet one more time. and we burst out laughing. a single tear stains his cheek and he brings a hand to wipe it away.  “are we really that embarrassing?” he asks once we’ve calmed down. “well, you did manage to get ketchup on your shirt.” “wait what?” i point to his chest and his gaze travels down. “fuck. this was my nicest one!” he’s so loud. “i just don’t know why i’m the one who’s gonna embarrass him.” luke tilts his head to one side and closes one eye. “didn’t you trip on the stairs on your way here?” i roll my eyes. “no one saw that, you have no proof.” “you’re drunk.” he smiles and inches closer towards me. our legs only separated by the bong. “you’re drunk, too,” i smile back. my hands feel warm. he sighs and rests his head on the wall. “i needed this.” he nods up at the dark sky.  “what do you mean?” i can’t stop staring at his jawline. the way it moves while he’s talking. the trace of not shaving for a few days.  “well, you’re not gonna believe me because i obviously seem very cool. but i’ve been a mess.” i should say something encouraging. “well… you’re not that cool.” he laughs and drops his head down. “you’re really something, aren’t you?” “i try really hard. but it’s hard to believe because i obviously seem very cool.” he laughs again. i like making him laugh. it feels nice. “it’s not like she was toxic or anything. it just hurt so much when she left, you know?” luke looks at me, there’s a small veil covering his eyes. they don't seem as vibrant as before. i try not to stutter. i don’t know, i should say. no man has left me because no man cared enough to keep me. “i guess you’re never really ready for someone to leave you,” i say, not staring at anything in particular. i figure i’m not lying. some friends did leave me. “and it hurts so much,” i keep talking, “because you either never find out what you did wrong, or they say horrible shit to you,” sighing and pressing my head back against the window, i'm mirroring his actions. “yeah,” he agrees and closes his eyes. “she said things i didn’t want to hear, but maybe it’s good that she said those things. now i can work on myself, so i don’t disappoint the next person in my life, right?” i roll my head and find his beautiful lashes practically resting on his cheekbones. he’s so beautiful. in and out. “so, you’re not still in love with her?” i dare to ask. he lets out a breath. “i’m not. the funny thing is… i got over her easily. but the words… god, the words, martina. they hurt so badly.” i’m almost certain that not only my hands went cold all of the sudden, my feet are freezing, too. that’s not my name.  “mhm,” i just nod my head. “thank you for listening to me,” he smiles softly. “i didn’t mean to be such a boring stoner.”  i chuckle and nudge his shoulder with my own. “it’s alright. you don’t see me yawning, do you?” his laugh is small and ridiculously pretty. “no, i don’t.” we sit in silence again. this time it doesn’t feel like forever. i take out a cigarette from my pack and light it. he already said he didn’t mind, right? i think about all the things he’s just shared with me. his vulnerable side. i’m a fraud. he doesn’t know anything real about me. maybe he knows my views on life and what i like and what i don’t. is that enough? “luke,” i turn to him. “i lied.” he tilts his head in confusion. he doesn’t say anything. i proceed to tell him everything. my real name, where i live and who i live with. the most difficult part is this one, “i’m a retired photographer.” that’s all i’m giving. luke stays quiet. and i don’t know what’s going through his mind. my whole body is numb. i feel like i can’t breathe, so i inhale more smoke. “i’m sorry i lied.” he sighs and shakes his head. “why did you lie? i thought we were having a good time.” “we were! we are. we… i just didn’t want people… i didn’t want you to recognize me.” “recognize you? what are- no… you’re that photographer whose nudes got leaked?” i look down at my hands. i want to cry. i want to leave. “yes.” my voice is almost inaudible. when i was twenty-two, i used to hang out at every party in la. i was a celebrity photographer. i was invited to all kinds of events. the glitz, the glam, all of it. i was seduced by the scene. everything seemed brighter colors than my old dull life. and then… some dude took pictures of me when we were fucking. and it all went downhill from there. i was kicked out of the studio i worked for. no one wanted to book me, not for anything. “i’m just… so ashamed.” i feel his warm hands reach out to hold mine. “i’m sorry you had to go through that.” before i can stop, i start crying. “oh my god, i’m so sorry.” my voice is so weak. i hate myself right now. “please, don’t apologize. that motherfucker… i’ll track him down.” a small laugh escapes my lips. “luke, you seriously don’t need to…” he interrupts me. “no, no. i’m gonna find that fuckhead and beat him up.” i smile again. “thanks, but please don’t. i can’t handle being scrutinized again. and it all will be coming back if they find out the guy from 5 seconds of summer beat some c-list celebrity up.” he smiles once he sees me stop crying. “okay,” his thumb wipes away the tears that stain my cheeks. “did you see them?” i finally ask when i’ve calmed down. luke shakes his head no. “i’m not gross enough to do that.” “enough?” i tease and he laughs. “no, i haven’t seen them. don’t worry.” “okay.”  his smile is gentle, “okay,” he murmurs. his eyes pierce mine and i realize that the veil has been lifted from his eyes. “thank you for telling me.” my real name has never sounded so beautiful coming out of someone’s lips. “luke,” i answer back. my smile is big, i can feel it. and i feel like such a mess. crying not two seconds ago. what a loser. i’m about to keep judging myself when, suddenly, there’s pressure on my lips. it’s luke’s. the kiss is soft and tender. his hand travels to push a strand of hair behind my ear. one of my hands rests on his bicep. i can tell he works out. when he pulls away, i open my eyes. there’s a silly grin on his face.  “i think the bong just hit me or something because that’s the softest pair of lips ever.” i laugh, dropping my head and pressing a hand to his chest. “you’re high.” he smiles and leans into me again. “yes.” this kiss feels more confident.  we make out to the song that’s playing on the other side of the house. i think it's jay-z. the balcony faces the empty street and the big house in front. it’s green and has way too many plants. luke leaves my lips again, begging for air. “i liked that,” i smile, feeling like i’m drifting away on a cloud. i’m sure my eyes are red as hell.  he bites his lower lip, teeth showing through the smile. he looks happy. stoned, but happy. “you’re pretty.” “thank you,” i seem to giggle for some reason. “you are, too.” his head drops and he looks down at his hands. “it’s the hair, isn’t it?” he asks, giving me a smile behind his curls. “amongst other things.”  i see the red making its way from his neck to his cheeks. he likes it when someone praises him, i figure. noted.  “thank you.” we sit quietly, enjoying each other’s silences. i take the bong and set it on the other side of my legs. i sit closer to him. our thighs touching. he notices it. i know because i see him smiling. “do you wanna go back downstairs?” luke shakes his head. “i’m good.” “yeah, me too.” “do you think ahmal is starting a riot down there?” he turns his back to the guest bedroom. it’s dark. there’s a single lightbulb on the balcony wall. it suddenly turns on. it must work on a schedule. it’s not dark yet, though. “probably,” i grin. “i love that you know this guy so well by now.” luke chuckles, “i listen.” “that’s actually kinda sexy.” i dare to say. ahmal was right, i need a celebrity dick. and the fact that luke hemmings is the one that might give it to me, it’s just so special. we’ve talked all night, he’s met ahmal, he didn’t run away when i told him about the nudes. he has a great smile and kind eyes. he turns his head towards me again, “is it?” i nod my head. “can i kiss you again?” i nod my head with a smile. my hand rests on his jawline as he leans into me one more time. and now his hand squeezes my thigh. i feel the indent of his rings on my bare skin. the skirt i’m wearing is loose and short enough for him to dig his fingertips onto the naked flesh. “can i?” he asks between kisses as his hand travels up.  my breath catches up in my throat. “right here?” “why not?” i don’t think my smile can get any bigger. i spread my legs enough for him to let his hand travel all the way up to my panties. i know he feels the wet patch that’s been appearing on my underwear. he kisses me and nibs at my lower lip.  “you’re pretty, so pretty.” he whispers and hooks one finger on the moist fabric before pulling it to the side. and, just like that, his index is inside of me. i gasp. he doesn’t stop pushing it in and pulling it out softly, his tongue wanting to battle mine. i let him. “can i rip this off you?” i feel the familiar throb between my legs. the one that has been keeping me company at night when i use my vibrator. he looks down, the skirt is up to my hips. he drags the finger through my folds.  i sigh against his lips. “you can have it if you want,” i whisper. his eyes are taken over by hunger. he’s hungry for me. and he can have it all. luke hums and looks down at the way his thick fingers tear the thin fabric, just above the wet patch. he reaches his hand to put it away in the back pocket of his slacks. “thank you.”  ah, my name again. his voice carries that word in a soft tone. “i’m a very generous person, you’ll find out,” i tease, taking the impulse of straddling him. each one of my legs at each side of his hips. i look into his eyes before going for his neck. my hands unbutton his favorite ruined shirt. i press my hands on his chest. i like how his tank top fits him so perfectly. he seems comfortable with my body on him. his hands caress my thighs as i unzip his pants. “i wanna find out everything about you,” he says, tilting his head back, giving me access to his beautiful neck. my stomach flips, but it’s not anxiety. i can only describe it as excitement. i wanna find out everything about him, too. he’s semi-hard. i stroke his length as i kiss his jaw. he whines. “am i making you feel good?” i tease, looking directly at his lips, they are curved into a smile. his eyes are closed. “so good,” he praises.  i’m so high his hands on my skin feel like heightened pleasure. i kiss him until he’s rock-hard. “you’re big.” i smile into him. “thick.” i know he’s blushing again. one of his hands leave the bruising grip he has on my left thigh, and he pumps himself a few times before lining himself against my entrance. “can i?” i smirk and look into his eyes while i begin to sink down on him. his mouth hangs open with a gasp. i whine next to his ear. and he feels so good, stretching me out. he attacks my neck, biting gently and determinate. i run my fingers through his beautiful curls. they’re soft. and they faintly smell like mint and orange, behind all the weed in the air and alcohol in his breath. my hips grind into his and he groans. he’s hitting a sensitive spot and i can’t get enough of it. i wrap my arms around him and rest my head into the crook of his neck. i could stay here forever, with his hands on my ass and thrusting into me at a steady pace. i sigh heavily and press my head even harder against his shoulder. “you’re so good,” i whisper, letting my eyes close so i can feel all of him. so i can feel him panting against me.  his phone rings. “fuck,” he murmurs. “fuck.” it keeps ringing. i stop my movements. “take it,” i say. “wanna hear you talk on the phone while you’re inside me.” i don’t know what’s gotten into me, but i kind of like it. he looks at me and doubts for a second. but the ringing is so insistent that he finally takes the call. “what’s up, man?” i can hear the voice on the other side of the line. the guy is loud. maybe even more than luke when he laughs. i nibble on his earlobe and he clears his throat. “where are you, mate? we’re leaving,” i hear. “i’m uh… busy,” he takes a breath and i feel his dick twitch against my walls. so fucking hot. “what do you mean busy? we’re going to that sushi place on the corner.” luke coughs, “i’m uh… i’m…” he looks at me with panic in his eyes. i feel bad. “i’ll meet you guys there.” “alright, man. see you then.” the beautiful blond underneath me hangs up and stays quiet for a moment.  “i’m…” i wanna say something, but nothing feels like it would be right coming out of my mouth right now. i get off from his dick and stand up, lowering my skirt. he looks up at me, confused, silent. “i didn’t want you to stop, you know?” he says and pulls up his briefs and pants. he’s standing in front of me. the shirt hanging from one of his shoulders. “i… i felt like you didn’t like it,” my stare is focused on my boots. the warm breeze is running through my now swollen folds. i can’t believe i let him rip my panties off. i can’t believe i let him keep them. “no, no,” luke straightens his shirt. the stain is right there and i feel like i’m about to cry again. “i was just… caught off guard. i’m sorry.” i guess we’re both embarrassed. “let’s go downstairs. i need to find ahmal,” i say, looking into the guest room, avoiding his eyes. “alright.”

he lets me go down the stairs first, and i quietly lead him back to the party. i can’t see ahmal anywhere. luke taps my shoulder. i turn around to find him checking his phone. “you want sushi?” he’s shy. i think that’s adorable. and he’s acting so cool about this. i like that. “okay,” i smile. “let me call ahmal real quick.” “sure, sure. i’ll go find my jacket.” i nod my head, “can you get my backpack? it’s the grey, small one.” “sure,” he says and i watch him walk away. my hands are cold. “where the fuck are you, girl?” ahmal yells at me through the phone. “i’m at tiffany’s,” i reply. “where are you?” “frank’s. you know i can’t pass up the opportunity to be with my man. wanna come over?” “i uh… i’m just gonna go home. i’ll talk to you tomorrow, alright?” i picture him with a drink in his hand, slouching on frank’s green sofa. “did you get it?” he seems to whisper. “get what?” “celebrity dick.” i roll my eyes. “you’re disgusting,” i say and hang up the phone.  luke walks back to me with his jacket on. he hands me my backpack and i thank him. “aren’t you cold?”  fair question, my turquoise top is sleeveless. “i didn’t bring a jacket, i forgot.”  he leans down to murmur something in my ear, “no, like, i meant…” shit. right. i have no underwear. “you owe me a pair,” i whisper back with a smile.

we walk a block down the street. 7:12pm.  i feel more relaxed now that i’m out of tiffany's house. those brief minutes we went downstairs were stressful. so much noise.  “are you okay?” luke asks out of nowhere. i lift my stare from the ground. “yeah, i’m fine. you?” “i’m good.” “cool.”

the sushi place on the corner of mullholland drive and ventura boulevard is nice. the furniture is not exactly black, it’s more of a dark chocolate brown. the booths have beige stamps on them. i distract myself with color schemes because the walk here was kind of awkward. i wasn’t sure what i wanted to say and now i’m not sure if he regrets inviting me. “there they are,” he points to a table. i recognize calum and michael. there’s another man and two women sitting there. luke places a hand on the lower part of my back and guides me to his friends. my ears feel hot. “you made it!” michael is definitely the loud one who was on the phone. “hey, martina,” he smiles at me.  luke and i look at each other, i press my lips together in a thin line. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do. luke seems like he’s about to laugh, and i end up laughing along with him. “alright, alright. i see you with the inside jokes,” one of the women wiggles her finger at us. we all laugh and luke offers me a chair. “thank you,” i smile and sit down. he takes the seat next to me.  “this is ashton. and layla and issa.” “nice to meet you, guys.” they all acknowledge me with a smile and i feel more at ease.  “what are we thinking?” michael sets the menu on the table. “tempura shrimp to start?”

i feel my cheeks hurting from all the smiling and laughing. and i’m hungry as fuck. when the food arrives, i feel my mouth watering. ashton and calum are teasing layla about getting a sailor tattoo. “why the fuck is this a sailor tattoo?” she points to the one on her wrist. “who said that?” layla looks directly into both of their eyes. everyone starts talking again. i don’t know what to say. again. but i’m eating and that’s all that matters. i eye luke as he bites into half of an avocado roll. the other half falls apart on his plate. he pouts. “i can’t take you nowhere,��� i roll my eyes, teasing him. he almost chokes on his food. i catch ashton staring at us, he looks amused. 

dinner flies by. i hadn’t expected for it to be so much fun. we’re getting dessert but i don’t think i can eat anymore. i’m stuffed. but i see chocolate cake and immediately sink my fork into a corner. i eat the chocolate frosting and put my utensil down. the conversation is still going.  “he can, you know, get it,” calum jokes. issa crosses her arms in front of her chest and leans back. she nods her head in a serious manner. “i approve this.” more laughter. “hey,” luke’s lips on my hairline once again. “do you wanna go out for a smoke?” i frown, confused. looking at him, smiling at me like that, almost pleading with his eyes. “sure.” “don’t tell calum, he’ll want to join.” “heard ya, mate.”

we go outside. the cars drive by fast on the street. i take a cigarette out of the pack inside my backpack. “so now you’re an advocate for me smoking?” luke looks behind me and then smiles, his lips have never looked prettier. his eyes focus back on mine. “i just wanted to get some alone time with you,” he says. that’s the sweetest thing. i light up my cigarette. and we talk. we talk about growing up in different countries but ending up living in the same place for years. “i wanted to come here. because this is where the industry is, you know?” “yeah, i get it. same with me.” we laugh about our first halloween costumes in the us. he dressed as buzz lightyear. i dressed as scooby doo’s daphne. “you guys are still here?” ashton’s voice is loud enough for us to turn around and face him. he has issa under his arm. “you owe me thirty dollars, hemmings,” pointing at his friend, the man smiles. we say our goodbyes. ashton and issa cross the street to find their car.  “so…” i say with my hands behind my back, just under my backpack.  “so…” luke repeats as he stands in front of me. “it’s getting pretty late.” “i know.” he chuckles. “yeah.” we say nothing, just stare at each other with a stupid smile on our faces.  there’s this moment. this kind of magic between us. sparks or whatever. he takes a step closer and i let him. “you wanna go?” “yes.” i feel his arms snake around my waist. his eyes are pretty, not red anymore. “where are we going?” i place my hands on his biceps. “you say it.”  “oh, i’m deciding?” he laughs. “well, i think we should… go to your place.” “i think that’s a good idea.”

If You Weren’t Around

Summary: Luke seeks comfort

Word count: 1.5k

And away, and aware we go!

__

Luke’s body shook with both nerves and cold as he walked closer to that door. Every instinct was screaming at him to turn around. That it was too late to be doing this, in more ways than one. That he should go home, lock himself in his room, and brace this fall on his own. 

But some force kept shuffling his feet forward, and even though his fingers trembled, they formed a fist before knocking. Once. Twice. Three times. 

He waited, his breath coming out in small clouds, ears straining to pick up any sounds of movement inside. Swearing, Luke knocked again, louder. Not quite pounding, but enough to rouse the person inside. 

A heartbeat later he heard the quiet, uncertain footsteps, a soft click of a lightswitch before porchlight illuminated him in all his miserable glory, then a louder click of a lock before the door swung open. 

“Lu?” the woman asked slowly, drawing a robe tighter around her body. Her hair was mused, eyes red-rimmed with sleep that she tried to blink away. “Am I dreaming, or is it really you?”

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, offering a shy wave. “Mind if I come in?”

~~~

As they sat on Y/N’s porch, Luke was careful to commit everything to memory, taking mental pictures and storing them safely in a corner of his mind.

Whatever Y/N was about to say died on her tongue as she watched the corners of his lips quirk up in a soft smile.

“What?” he laughed. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Her cheeks burned as she ducked her head shyly. “Nothing. Just… the way you’re enjoying the day. Like you’re soaking up every second.”

He shrugged. “I have to. I mean… how many chances do you get where you know you’re doing something for the last time?”

She sighed, leaning back on the palms of her hands. “But this isn’t the last time, is it? I mean, yes, you’re moving. And sure, we’re not gonna have a lot of days like this anymore. But we’re still gonna be friends. Right?”

“Right!” Luke said quickly. “We’re always gonna be friends. And any time we get to spend together will always be a highlight. I’m just… gonna appreciate them more I guess.”

“I guess that’s fair. Hey, Lu? Do me a favor while you’re gone out there being someone yeah? If, for whatever reason, our lives don’t lead us back to each other, stay beautiful, okay?”

~~~

The time on the microwave read 3:16am as Y/N reached into the cupboard to pull down two mugs. “Coffee?” she asked with a yawn.

“Got anything stronger?” Luke asked back with a wry chuckle as he leaned against the counter.

She arched an eyebrow.

“Kidding. Kind of. Yeah, coffee’s fine.” 

She didn’t say anything as she busied herself with making a small pot of coffee for them, her mind too clouded with the remnants of an interrupted sleep to make a proper assessment of the man. 

Luke also didn’t say a word as his fingers gripped into the counter like if he could grip something tight enough it would stop his body from shaking.

“Should’ve made you decaf,” Y/N joked as she slid a mostly full cup his way.

“Hmm? Oh. Heh. Must be the nerves.” He let go of the counter to grab the cup, bringing it to his lips before pausing. “Thanks.”

“Course,” she said with a soft smile before nodding her head in the direction of the couch. “So what’s new with you?” Y/N asked as she took a seat, drawing up her knees and wrapping her fingers around her own mug of coffee.

“I- uh,” Luke started as he made himself comfortable on the other end of the couch. “Just needed a friend.”

She hid her scoff of a laugh by taking a sip of her coffee, allowing the warmth to slowly wake her mind up. “I find it hard to believe you’re short on friends these days.”

The smile he flashed was bitter. 

“Sorry,” she was quick to amend. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Even though it’s 3 in the morning?”

“Especially because it’s 3 in the morning.”

“If anybody but you told me that I wouldn’t believe them.”

“Why do you think that?”

He shrugged, taking his own sip of coffee to hide the way he swallowed thickly. “Just hard to believe much of what I hear these days.” Even though they were sitting side by side his voice sounded so far away. Like his mind was somewhere else.

In the silence that enveloped them, she studied him, seeing him clearer with each sip of coffee. He was still very much the same Luke she remembered with the pretty locks of gold hair, and those bright baby blues. But his shine was missing. Whatever critical part of him that made him Luke was gone. “Is that why you’re here?” she found herself asking.

“Hmm?” His eyes blinked into focus as his mind processed her question. “Oh. I don’t really know why I’m here. I just needed to be somewhere and… I dunno.” His shoulders shrugged. Then he was taking a heavy breath as he set the cup down with a rattle, his breathing quickening. “I- This was stupid,” he spat. “I’m stupid. Showing up here like no time has passed. Like it’s not weird. But the guys don’t get it. They try to, but they don’t really get it. And I remember that you said that you hoped my life could lead me back here one day. And-” The words spilled in an angry flourish, and then hot tears were rolling down his face. Luke felt his throat close up, and then a loud sob wracked through his body. He buried his face in his hands, and Y/N heard his muffled scream, furious and pitiful all at once.

Without thinking,Y/N guided Luke to her, unfurling her legs so his head could fall into her lap. The scream turned into panicked crying as she ran her fingers through his hair, quietly shushing him. Her heart ached as she wondered how often he had felt this close to breaking down in the years since they’ve seen each other. How utterly alone his head must have been making him feel for him to show up on her doorstep. How she could disarm the bomb in his head. “Shh, Lu. I’m here. Shh. It’s alright. You’re safe. Shh. It’s going to be okay.” Her fingers continued to card through his hair, the calming words on a loop both for his sake and her own. It didn’t matter that seeing him for the first time in what felt like a lifetime had resulted in him having a full blown panic attack in her lap. It didn’t matter if another lifetime passed before they saw each other again. She would wait a million lifetimes and weather a million panic attacks as long as he stayed.

Luke felt absolutely pathetic as he fell to pieces. This wasn’t at all the visit he had wanted. He had wanted to see Y/N way sooner than this. Under different circumstances. Better circumstances. To show her his life. How beautiful he had made it, and how much happier living his dreams had made him. Not to gloat or invoke jealousy. But to prove that he could do it. That he had gone out and been someone just like she always believed he would be. If he had come to her 24 hours ago, he could have done just that. Before his girlfriend had ripped out his heart and stomped on it. Before his bandmates couldn’t understand because “It’s just some girl, mate.” And while their words might have been true, it hadn’t stopped him from feeling used.

So with no idea where to turn next, he had come here. To Y/N. And she wasn’t the least bit mad at him. For years of silence. For waking her up in the middle of the night. For breaking apart in front of her. For failing her by not being the man she believed he could be. 

No. She had let him in. Made him coffee. And let him shatter. Her tone was soft and warm like he always remembered. And her fingers kept smoothing their way through his hair in the most comforting manners. Comfort. Y/N was comfort. And he yearned for every piece of it.

Slowly, breathing became easier. The tightness loosened. Luke’s body relaxed. For a moment Y/N thought maybe he had fallen asleep. “Lu? Are you asleep?”

“No,” he mumbled, sniffling slightly. “Just thinking.”

“What about?”

“Why anyone should believe in love when it can go away like that?” He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

“I’m not sure what happened. And you don’t have to tell me. You don’t have to explain anything if you don’t want to. But know that you’re too young to think that things won’t get better. Whatever darkness you’re in right now won’t last. And if you want me to wait it out with you, I will.”

He sat up slowly, wiping at his face and clearing his throat. But she could still hear the crack in his voice when he whispered, “Really? You’d do that for me?”

She smiled, gathering his hands in hers. “If you choose to believe in anything, Lu, believe that I won’t go away.”

__

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