i rly think that little space twink that got charles xaviered was force sensitive

Alright, I took a quick nap and Ive decided that I wanna get the UTM reenactment over with as quickly as possible so Im reading chapter 42 and then I'll reward myself with some pain au chocolats and not thinking about this book for the rest of the day and watching the 2002 takarazuka flower troupe production of elisabeth instead. lets go

Chapter 42

here we fucking go with the illyrian wingspan-dicksize correlation, how would Amren even know that isnt she above sex or something. Honestly, I think Cassian would know wayyyyy more about that. on account of all the gay sex hes having i mean. I thought of that joke and then I realized that you could interpret it to mean that he knows about that because hes illyrian and has a dick, but I want to make it very clear that this is a gay sex joke

how come wings are so sensitive that just barely stroking them makes you moan and shudder but you can still fly with them in harsh winds with no issue. My headcanon is that wings arent actually that sensitive, Rhysand and Cassian are just weirdos with a specific kink

This conversation Feyre and Rhys are having about his wings is so weird, its like dirty and yet uncomfortably clinical

oh Rhysand is quicker than death just fucking kill me, im getting so angry again

Syphons are called 'Trichtersteine' ['funnel stones' or 'funnel gems'] in german which is more accurate to how we're actually told they work imo but it sounds pretty lame

Is it just me or is Rhysand being kinda weirdly paranoid rn. I mean granted, they did just get attacked with ash arrows so maybe hes actually doing a good job for once and Im just biased against him

Okay so we finally get some night court fae wearing white, but of course its not for moon symbolism its so they can blend in with the rock of the mountain because this series does nothing but disappoint me

The Hewn City actually sounds really cool, why couldnt this have been the secret city where we spend most of our time, you couldve made it a whole thing about Feyre healing from her trauma UTM through like, exposure therapy or something idk. That wouldve been neat and dramatic, her healing from her UTM trauma in the place that inspired it with the person that inflicted it. I mean, maybe that would be less healthy and even more controversial than Feysand already is but then you could atleast lean into the dark romance of it

I mightve said this already but you knowwww sjm is NOT a painter and consulted ZERO painters because Ive never heard of anyone think about creating art the way feyre does

and Mor is wearing red AGAIN why would you make this a trigger for Feyre just go back and edit it out its not like it matters

God, the description of her outfit is so deeply discomfortingl like it literally is exactly what she wore while she was being drugged assaulted but atleast they left the bodypaint out this time

"[Keir] looked at my face, then my body. I had thought that he would stare and drool greedily but... there was nothing. No emotion. Just ice cold. Shaking internally, - from anger and revulsion - I followed Mor." Im sorry, is she mad that Keir doesnt find her hot????

Theres something uncomfortable about Feyre referring to Rhysand as 'Mor's Lord' especially when we just had a whole paragraph describing her as a proud and empowered queen

"Usually, one Syphon was enough for an Illyrian to to able to steer his urge to kill down the right path." what???

Now shes describing Azriel as dark and beautiful as death and oughhhhhh i knoww im the only who cares about this and its for a pretty stupid reason but I care a lot and it makes me very angry

Feyre referring to a 19 year old Mor as 'barely more than a child' is weirdddddd

of COURSE hes wearing a black tunic for this, I cant believe this is the guy that the fandom has designated the fashion lover when he has two (2) outfits

Feyre describing Rhysand as sooooo powerful and beautiful with a face of nightmares and dreams makes me want to vomit, but more importantly, it makes me yearn to rewatch the 1996 takarazuka star troupe production of Elisabeth with Asaji Saki as Death who unirionically fits all of Feyres descriptors 1000 times better

Not Rhysand using Feyres Cursebreaker title while hes thoroughly humiliating her

Now Feyre is calling him a god, bro youre not gonna be able to have sex if you jack him off this hard hes gonna be all sore

Imagine being a hewn city noble and you all get together because your high lord wants something from you and youre kinda scared because hes the worst, and then you just have to watch him finger some random lady. and you cant leave because then he'll just kill you

I dont like that this is framed as empowering to Feyre, i think its one thing to write a female character who sexualises herself in order to empower herself but the fact that Feyre is doing this at the behest of Rhys automatically renders it non-empowering to me. Like yeah, she obviously consented to this but it wasnt her idea but this was not her idea and this is not something she usually does, the only times shes been sexualized like this is because it was part of some plan that Rhysand came up with

"[Keir] apparently clung to the power. But Rhys was the power." i hate that that sentence made me think of Keir/Rhysand as a ship why am I so goddamn yaoi-brained. And yeah, i know theyre related but according to Rhys himself, he and Mor are only cousins in the most distant sense, so. Man, that would make the IC dynamics so much more fucked up but also so much funnier

Theyre trying so hard to make this hot n sexy but its just so unappealing and dragged out. Granted, sorry if this is TMI, but I did just jerk off so Im all out of horniness for the next little while so maybe I just dont like this because Im not in the mood but idk. theres something so annoying about this, i think its how over-the-top and artificial Rhysands hotness feels, not to mention the fact that he is absolutely not my type

Imagine being Keir rn, just trying to do your job and tell your high lord everything that he needs to know, meanwhile his high lord is sitting in front of him fondling his new sex slave and you just have to keep a straight face. i mean, he sucks ass so i guess he deserves it but man

Presented to you with no further comment: "My breasts became heavy and full, longing, desiring, just like my crotch."

goddamnit, Rhysand just said that he put Feyre on his leash and then Keir made a kinda slutshame-y remark about her clothes and then I thought Rhys was like "maybe I'll put you on a leash too" but it was Feyre who said that. another loss for big gay incest

"He liked this as little as I did" uhhhhh no offense girlie but you actually seem to be having a pretty great time rn

I dont even know what to say about this part where Feyre is like, detaching herself from her thoughts that are calling her a traitor a liar and a whore ?? I think thats whats happening here?? Like, its trying so hard to be sexy but its invoking the imagery of Feyre's (and even Rhysand's) trauma and its just very strange

It took Rhys a fucking eternity to actually touch her pussy

What if Keir developed a voyerism kink because of this. would that be fucked up or what

Its so weird how Feyre thinks about how maybe Rhysand doesnt like sex or being desirable anymore because of amarantha and that certainly sounds like a trauma response he should have but instead it just never matters

"I had been tortured and tormented but my pain was nothing compared to his." YOU DIED

Oh man I cant believe I completely forgot about the absolutely iconic part where Rhysand gets so mad Keir for calling the woman he introduced as a whore a whore that he telepathically breaks his hand about it

what was the point of doing that, Feyre didnt even seem to like it that much

plss gimme the fucked up ocelot/liquid dynamics

i dont know if this is gonna make any sense because i just wrote it in a haze but

i definitely think ocelot is weird about all of the bibo clones. he has way too much fun torturing snavid, and he works closely with solidus during mgs1-2. those two look the most like bibo, so ofc he has a strange attraction to them.

for liquid i think its a little more complicated because a) he met liquid as a child. but he didn't watch him grow up, and i dont think he felt any kind of familial bond with him. he was an annoying little shithead for a few months and then he fucked off into the wilderness to live with a bunch of other feral children.

and b) due to the whole liquid-miller situation. i have a lot of thoughts on ocelhira and how it mightve played out, and half of them contradict the rest, but i do think ocelot genuinely liked kaz and liked working with him. whether or not that was reciprocated is where my contradictory thoughts lie. they likely worked together post-1984 in foxhound, but it's unclear for how long.

so fast forward to 2005 where hes working with liquid, who has grown up into a handsome man who, aside from the hair, is the spitting image of big boss. hes more vindictive and hateful, but still eerily similar. his motivation to create a safe place for the genome soldiers mirrors big boss's goal of a nation of soldiers. and hes willing to blow up the rest of the world to do it. hes got a similar inspirational charisma that lands him leadership of foxhound, commanding the rest of the mgs1 bosses and the entire genome army.

so not only does ocelot draw parallels between him and big boss, which has tangled romance feelings involved, but also when liquid decides to kill miller and impersonate him, ocelot gives him a lot of information in order to be convincing (im assuming). tapes and videos and records to get to know miller better, and ocelot watches him literally transform into a copy of younger miller, very similar in age to when ocelot first met miller. (assuming they met at some point after 1975, kaz wouldve been early 30s, and liquid is also early 30s in 2005).

liquid's impression is of foxhound miller, but its probably still uncanny and takes ocelot off guard. so now hes contending with his past relationship with big boss AND miller, with whatever insane feelings he must have about the two of them focused into one guy.

the entire time this is happening, ocelot is working to undermine the entire plan and conspiring with solidus. so he doesnt fully respect liquid nor does he take him seriously. their interactions with each other feel like ocelot is just going along with whatever liquid says, because liquid thinks hes in charge. ocelot is willing to be insulted and humiliated by liquid to advance the overarching plan. (solidus' to overthrow the patriots using the data stolden from REX, ocelot's to later betray solidus and maintain the patriots. all that fuckery.)

but i think ocelot is having the time of his life during this. it feels like working with big boss. it feels like working with miller. every time liquid puts on the sunglasses or gives an order as the boss of foxhound, its like standing in the room with one of two ghosts that feels entirely real. thats gotta be confusing as fuck. but also hot.

so i think ocelot has a lot of conflicting feelings on liquid but ultimately is attracted to him, not for who liquid is, but for who he reminds ocelot of. its something ocelot can have a little fun with while still achieving his overall goal of supporting the patriots. (until its his turn to overthrow them. jesus christ ocelot why is your plan so convoluted.)

meanwhile liquid i think believes ocelot IS the foolish old man he portrays himself as during mgs1. he didnt respect ocelot when they met in the 80s, and he still doesnt take him seriously in 2005. i dont think liquid is interested in ocelot at all. if anything, it would simply be for the power trip of controlling his father's former right-hand man. possibly feelings of anger/hate from ocelot's close association with big boss. he probably realizes ocelot has some kind of feelings toward him, maybe not realizing the extent of it, but uses this to his advantage. perhaps he even believes this is why ocelot is willing to endure the insults and humiliation.

overall i think their dynamic would be strange, nostalgic pining against a somewhat bitter distrust and disrespect + a mutual feeling of superiority/incompetence.

they both think theyre taking advantage of the other. ocelot wants what he can no longer have, because both miller and big boss are dead. liquid is a stand in for them. liquid thinks hes in charge and in control of shadow moses, and he doesnt take ocelot seriously enough to consider something else is going on behind the scenes. he focuses his anger at big boss towards anyone who was associated with him- snavid, miller, ocelot. they both use each other as proxies to channel strong emotion.

its fucked :]

people were doing this with the pulse club victims and saying "DONT SHARE THEIR PICTURES AND NAMES THEY MIGHTVE BEEN TRANS AND YOURE POTENTIALLY DEADNAMING THEM" and to this day i still lack the adequate verbiage and phrasing to express how i feel but the long and short of it is that like. you could use this logic on literally anyone who has not recently unequivocally stated their gender and it comes from a place of compassion, but compassion is not the cure-all nor unobjectionable. if aaron bushnell was trans, he died never saying it. trying to breadcrumb his gender identity is ultimately pointless, as callous as it is to say, because something on that level he would've told someone or made diary entries about or. . . the list goes on. if you have to go into inference mode about someone's gender identity, broadly speaking, you're wasting your time. am i saying you should never use critical thought when looking at dead historical figures who were functionally trans but lacked the same verbiage for it we do or used antiquated verbiage for it? no, but when you spend your time playing sherlock on kurt cobain's gender identity, you should ask yourself "what is the end goal to this process? what am i realistically getting out of this? does this even matter if the person in question never called themselves trans?". for me, i know my own answers to those questions, so i have bias there. i don't necessarily begrudge anyone who answers differently, but i do hope people at least ask themselves these things before doing it.

and i acknowledge that this might be a hot take or whatever, so be it. i just think it's extremely unproductive to mull over small-scale questions that we will never get definitive answers to. let's stop distracting from the known and stated message bushnell wanted to share, which is to free palestine and death to amerikkka.

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT

POST PRE PRELIMINARY #112

Submission 39

Kusuke Saiki is a good and justifiable character

[JUSTIFICATION UNDER THE CUT]

Pre-preliminaries will be used to determine what qualifies as a hot take. Propaganda is encouraged!

Also, remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

Kusuke is a messed up dude, however, he isnt as bad as people sometimes make him out to be.

He did technically turn a village of old people into robots however, that is understandable. People think he did it only because of kusuo, which is wrong. Before he turned the village into robots, he called his grandpa and said he needed some money. His grandpa thought it was kusuo even though kusuke didnt hide his voice or anything, so he ran off to deliver the money. Once he realized that it wasnt kusuo and was instead kusuke, he scolded him for lying even though kusuke never said he was kusuo and he really did need train fare. once kusuke told them that he had graduated from Cambridge with a PHD, his parents and grandparents didnt seem excited or nothing even though he was only 19 since he was so smart he skipped so many grades. so it makes sense that he'd turn them into robots. he ended up leaving and undo-ing the robot thing too.

at some point he tried to launch his dad at a meteor but his dad sucks and both his parents prefer his brother I think, but ultimately both his brother and himself have it rough. also his parents let him go and study in England all by himself at 14, they didnt worry about him whatsoever.

also hes not obsessed with kusuo, hes obsessed with kusuo's powers. he acts pretty normal when he isnt talking about his powers, he doesnt obsess over kusuo, its just his powers that he obsesses over. anything that makes him seem gross in a similar way that makoto teruhashi is gross, can be refuted. why is he obsessed with kusuo's powers? because he was the smartest person ever and could beat everyone except kusuo. the reason why he couldnt beat him was because of his powers, since he kept trying to win but failed 4260 times (the amount he said + the amount he failed in the times after he said that), he ended up obsessed with winning against him and his powers. why did he put the limiter there? so kusuo would be more likely to have issues taking it given its placement, this gave kusuke an advantage and allowed him to almost get the other limiter. some people say he did gross things to the robot version, theres no evidence to prove he did anything other than make it lick his shoes and even that mightve just been for the recording he sent to the real version.

Point is, Kusuke Saiki is a messed up dude and does do bad things however he isnt as bad as a lot of people think plus there's reasoning behind his actions.

I love the idea that Guillermo misinterpreted his Slayer instincts as Slay instincts but i think its even funnier if he was so automatically thirsty for Nandor that it completely shut down his Slayer tingles because otherwise he mightve thought he has the hots for Laszlo and Nadja (which i imagine wouldve been especially confusing for him)

Hey hey hey its been a hot minute, i hope life is treating you well? (It better - if not ill fight life for you in the ring)

I’m giving you the opportunity to info dump about anything. And i mean anything be it something to do with one of your aus (we love lore) or even about any interests you may have (i know you like the fun-guys, whats your favourite shroom👀?)

Sidenote i just thought of this when typing the shroom question, i really thought that during feb that you mightve dabbled with the funguary prompts. Idk i thought you’d really like those. Like pair up a shroom with a character or something and go wham with it. Idk where i was going with this… yeah

I JUST STRAIGHT UP FORGOT to answer this ask hhdhdhdg whoops. I lost whatever idea I had to ramble about so I'm going to use this as an excuse to ramble about my thought process thus far behind the merhog Shadow I'm working on

(I keep forgetting Funguary exists and my database of Fungi Knowledge is unfortunately not specific enough for me to parcipate ahfhjdjsjsj)

Anyways. With merhog designs, I tend to have a "speculative biology" approach to it, i.e the different merhog design elements make some sense in context. I think I mentioned before that designing Creatures and Robots scratch a similar itch in my brain; and this is why. You can tell a bunch about how a Creature moves, eats, and lives just based on their physical traits. Same goes for robots!

Of course, I'm still an artist first and foremost. So when it comes to creature design, I still put aesthetics and Vibes™️ first before realism XD

with that out of the way, here's the rambles about the In-Progress merhog shadow design. No images because I'm lazy ahdhdjs

My first thought with the merhog shadow design was that "I have to throw a little bit of Godzilla inspo in there". I've had Godzilla on the brain since I watched the new movie with Kong a few weeks ago lol. And bc I like bioluminescence way too much, he's gonna be a glowy boiiiii.

I'm thinking he does actually have atomic breath and can subsist off/absorb nuclear energy. In the hypothetical au this design is from, the ARK would be an underwater facility that was destroyed in a nuclear explosion of some sort. Shadow was the only survivor and he "haunts" the spot to this day.

Shadow's concept isn't as clear to me as Silver's was. Vaguely, I want him to be more reptile-adjacent as a callback to the Biolizard and the Black Arms. I feel like going full reptile would make him look too bulky and slow so I'm still working it out.

This is the current iteration of the design so far:

barely anything, but it's what I got XD

I like the idea of merhog Shadow having two huge front flippers that can sort of act like extra hands. the flippers were partially based by a winged Black Arms enemy I forgot the name of + humpback whale fins. the little bumps on the front side of the fins? they're for speed, like with actual humpbacks. The little claw is NOT biologically realistic at all, but it looks cool and im already planning to take inspo from godzilla anyways so. yeah.

In general I think I might just take a more fantastical approach to Shadow? It feels fitting with his canon origins being weird.

For his head, I decided to turn his quills into tentacles, specifically of the Vampire Squid. There are spikes underneath to protect the back of his head from roundhouse kicks (bc he's the only one allowed to do that lmao). I'm thinking he might also have a false eye pattern in the center of the tentacles? A deterrent to potential predators + as a callback to Doom's Eye.

His eye markings get a little change too. They can emit red light, just like Stoplight Loosejaw (yes that's a real fish name) which have organs underneath their eyes that emit red light to hunt prey with. I imagine merhog Shadow would also have its extremely messed up jaw configuration ✨ I don't know how I would draw it though ✨✨✨

As far as solid inspiration goes, that's what I have so far. I'm considering giving Shadow more whale-adjacent features. With how huge his front flippers are, I think it'd make sense that he'd be more of a power swimmer? aka he has a big tail that does most of the work propelling him forward, and the flippers are to reduce the energy cost while also increasing speed and maneuverability. It would be a close enough analog to his skating, maybe????

He doesn't sound very fast but then again, I imagine neither is merhog Silver lol

I am clearly not the level of Fandom that I once was bc I like the bear and I wanted to see some deep dives into character arcs but all I can find is ppl wanting to fuck carmy. i get it but this man is traumatized and not in the cute way. like is this a joke he couldn't commit to the one relationship handed to him on a platter and talked to and about her like she was his therapist. he very well mightve been a virgin before meeting Claire, and based on his backstory and the way he talks about committing to a relationship with her makes me think that he never even had a girlfriend before her. this man doesn't fuck. I'll give you that he looks like he has the potential to fuck, but Carmen Berzatto does not currently "fuck". others advertised this as the "hot linecook" TV show but what I watched was a traumatized introverted man who had set off out of school with the singular vision of becoming a chef, focused exclusively on success, and then his brother killed himself. like we start there.

please oh my god he is screaming for help and his trauma can't be fucked away. I have so many thoughts about Sydney and Carmen's relationship and how so deeply neither of them is ready for any sort of romance in that way.

starting with Sydney, she wouldn't even tell Carmen that her mom was dead until months into knowing him, when the Bear was nearlt open, even though he did try to gently prompt information from her. She avoids anything to do with a deep and serious emotion, her passion is singular and focused, much like Carmy was when he was at Noma and the French Laundry. When she said "that's a little too personal" when Carmy started opening up about his trauma, she brushed it off like a joke but it seemed like she made that joke to deflect from anything personal. she is avoidant and her respect of Carmy is purely artistic at that point. She just so happened to intersect with Carmen during one of the least focused moments of his life. She wanted to meet the Carmen who worked at Noma, even though he was absolutely going through it then, she doesn't get that version.

She also sticks her nose in places where it doesn't belong, has a sense of slight sense of superiority to overcompensate for a crippling performance anxiety, analytical, detached, impatient, yet also freely giving of praise when it's due. Make no mistake, the Bear is Sydneys, Carmen is only in this on the level of reanimating a corpse, Sydney is the soul breathing into it.

Now Carmen is sweet by nature but hard due to circumstance. Hard because of his upbringing, his drive. He desperately seeks approval from those he loves and can't stand to ask for help. the way he talks about Claire makes me feel like she's his first girlfriend ever. He was too busy on the grind to stop for a moment and let that sort of tenderness in. he's not used to it. which is why he sort of leans on her for emotional support instead of actually really getting to know her and connect with her on that level. She's a figurehead, an anywoman, someone who loves him and that's enough for her.

I think from the moment that Sydney mentioned the veal fat, Carmen had a deep respect for her. He really begins to see her as an equal because what the fuck it took Luca an entire year to figure it out, and Carmen hadn't figured it out at that point. she knew it off the top of her head. He hired her because of her business skills but he entrusted her because of his need to emotionally lean on people. when he left to go to that AL anon meeting, he was leaning in her in a more distant way that he will eventually do with Claire. And after he's shut down by Sydney as he starts opening up, he still leans on Sydney to shoulder a lot of his pain.

Carmen just shocks Nat by saying jarring shit about his trauma about how he almost burned down his apartment and how he used to throw up before work every day, and that's how he leans on her. By dumping that shit on Nats lap, in a casual cry for help. He needs help, he has needed help his entire life and Sydney comes in, proves herself to be his equal, and he respects her as an artist. He literally doesn't know how to interpret that feeling in himself if it did translate into romance.

the last thing these characters need to do is fuck. if they have a deep emotional conversation where Carmen is stable enough to allow Sydney the space to feel comfortable with sharing some of her deep personal feelings, like where he can actually shoulder some of that for her, then both characters will have healed enough to entertain the potential of considering Any kind of romantic relationship, let alone one with each other.

they are so career driven that they don't have the eye for anything else, they wouldn't know to consider something like that. so if they do end up together, they would be absolutely floored with the realization of their emotions, it would blindside them and potentially derail them if it's not reciprocated. and my bet is that Carmy falls first. Hard. for the wrong reasons. tries to get Sydney to shoulder not only the responsibility of the bear but also the responsibility of his emotions.

and I think that he'll make her co-owner, but only once their debt has cleared so she doesn't compound her already existing debt

I have so many more thoughts on this I'll get back to you

Randst Magazine 8

what the FUCK is going on

HERLOCK IS ON TRIAL FOR MURDERRRR it was about time tbh

he quoted herlock sholmes again???? after i JUST made the post about him reading herlock sholmes books?? honey just admit you're down bad already

i am now thoroughly convinced that he actually does read the books/randst magazine in canon because why the fuck else would he know herlock sholmes quotes verbatim??????

he's literally the "i hate [insert character]" while putting pictures of said character on the wall meme for herlock dude im not kidding

did he ever figure out that iris wrote the books in dgs or dgs2 because i have this weird memory of dialogue between him and iris where he comes in mad about his depiction in the book and then iris is like i wrote the books! and he completely changes his tone and he's like wow your writing is exquisite

OH WAIT that was a fanfiction whoops

is he being derogatory???? like id assume so but why'd he have to say "us mortals of inferior mental capacity" lmFAO

dude imagine if he and susato talked about the books and ended up getting into a giant literary debate while also trying to figure out who the bigger fan is i might just cry

iris holds a trivia competition to see who can name the most verbatim quotes/recall super unimportant details with the page numbers

and sholmes ryuu and gina are watching them like what the fuck??

WHAT IS THIS SPRITE THAT'S TERRIFYING

damn that was you when you're tired??? i thought he was rolling his eyes or something aksgjdhsjhgskgsj

we're getting van zieks' inner thoughts wtf

bruh have they just been standing there for three hours help

i would NOT want to be stuck in the same room as barok for three hours with the only noise being an ominously ticking clock let me tell you

i guess gregson knew him before he became a vampire though so it's not as intimidating but still. gregson you are a braver man than me

stronghart is supposed to be this super punctual guy what's with both them and ryuunosuke waiting forever for him to appear

i cannot get over the van zieks perspective wtf

thank god it's not from his eyes so that we can see his cloaked forward-facing sprites

he's SO hot why didnt we ever see these sprites in game what the hell

or at least outside of court

these and the ryuu sprites although im now realizing those mightve been reserved for the dance of deduction

OH THANK GOD MADAM ROSIE IS STILL ALIVE i was actually so sad for her :sob: she got bullied by the other birds in stronghard's chambers bruh

i didnt realize that stronghart actually takes care of his birds though and that they're not just a dramatic effect bgkjDHGSKDJ that's pretty sweet and a nice detail

barok: says you bitch i was about to drop undead

HE'S SO HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

the rare actually-happy-and-not-faking-it-for-iris gregson

thank god she's okay though sheesh i was really worried

although maybe dont compare her to Larry Butz that just seems like a bad omen akjdhgHKJDHJSJHKDGd

i mightve sent smth like this already. can't remember tbh. but like. cough syrup is prolly the first fic i've read with a psychotic character who isn't just. written weirdly? like. idk how to explain it. cs!ranboo just seems. so human?? which was and still is really comforting. bc i read cough syrup a bit after i kinda. started coming to terms with the fact that i'm prolly. psychotic to some extent. and like. i'm just some lanky dude who shops off the hot topic clearance rack. and cs!ranboo's like that too. and. idk. where i was going with this. but yeah. thank u for cough syrup it makes me feel human

it was around chapter 8 or 9, i think, when i had talked to my therapist about some issues i was having and she told me it could have been stress induced illusions. that later snow-balled rapidly into depression-linked psychosis, and then into just psychosis, since y'know, i started writing cough syrup in the tail-end of my psychotic break early 2021. took me a lot longer to realize that's what that had been, though.

and y'know i had intended to make cs!ranboo struggle with psychosis at some capacity, since that just fit c!ranboo's character, but it became a lot more personal to me at that point. cs!ranboo was the only place i felt i could talk about these delusions and all this shit i was dealing with, and in all the times i was sobbing because i had lost so much to this perceived failure of my mind, i thought that maybe i could write this character who has the same issues as me, getting a chance to be happy. to find people that love him, who will stay by him, who he could find some kind of stabilizing and lasting peace with.

in a lot of ways, though i bitch now about having to write his chapters, cs!ranboo was my way of coping with a lot of things i was going through. and you know i was actually scared of posting it at a certain point, because it feels so fucking vulnerable. you don't really see a lot of psychotic characters in media that aren't stereotyped, oftentimes written by non psychotic people following a checklist and inevitably messing up somewhere because they're being careless and then find themselves creating this caricature. i don't ever claim that my writing is perfect or good or without flaws, but at the very least my portrayals are genuine in some sense, that i'm using experience and research and both combined to guide it.

i think one of the best things to ever come out of cough syrup is people finding comfort in the characters. so many people found solidarity with cs!tubbo from the beginning, and that grew into projecting things onto him that i'm happy to accept because hell they're not just my characters, they're characters i'm sharing with you all. but what gets me is how many people find comfort in cs!ranboo, like you, because i was so worried about casting that light on everything and am so glad now that i did it.

it's incredibly fucking important to me that the characters i write feel like people. cs!tubbo isn't just an addict, he's a teen who likes checking on NASA's annual halloween-themed posters and who only gets extremely competitive when playing Wii sports games and creates all these associations in his head and fucking sucks at making paper cranes but does them anyway as a love language. cs!tommy isn't just an abuse victim, he's a teen who's favorite color is red and half his clothes are like that and he knows all the cool parks and shops in town and he loves walking around and finding more places and he likes superheroes and animal crossing.

and cs!ranboo isn't just his psychosis, he's a teen that likes baking but hates having to bake cupcakes and will complain about that, and he likes taking photos of other people and hanging onto them for a while, and he likes the idea of falling in love but is a little clumsy with it, and he has a questionable fashion sense but it makes him feel comfortable, and he likes english class but hates chemistry

and all i hope to do is show that (1) these characters' lives are affected by their struggles, but it's not all they are as people (2) you are deserving of love and WILL be loved no matter what you struggle through (3) if you connect to any of the cast, hi i love you you're going to make it you're going to be happy.

sorry for the long tangent. i just - this ask made me feel really happy. because hearing this, that people can find some connection with cough syrup? it's all i've ever wanted. if i hear that then i have a reason to keep writing it, i have a reason to fight through annoying ass chapters and the whole lot of it.

wishing you the best anon. thank you for sharing this with me.

wait wwhat i dont have any real ones bc lesbanse but what about fake male celeb crushes Like. Random men you chose to pretend to think of as hot for seeming straight purposds 😭😭

I think i chose:

francisco lachowski (i find him so hideous with his beard.... and I remember being grossed oht when i went to look at shirtless pictures of him as part of the act. Literally liks "yess... im suuuch a man liking girl. Not at all a lesbian..EW YCUCK! put your SHIRT bback on!!!" Im actually so confused thinking back to it. Why did i do these things)

I forgot my reason for picking him but it mightv been from searching "most attractive man. male models."

Dylan o brien because Cindy Kimberly was obsessed with him and i was obsessed with her for a short period of time (not even as much as a crush though shes very beautiful but bc i wanted to look like her because... face dysmorphia) i always thought dylan was so hilariously stupid looking but i was liek "heyy we should watch teen wolf for the totaly sexyyy dylan o brien.. 😏" to my best friend at the time

Ezra miller (I KNOW) because my friend was obsessed with ezra miller, i made my phone background him while finding him so ugly, because my friend was like hes sooo cute lets watch every movie of his. This was before the... all of it. But still deranged 😭😭 id watch edits of him from the movie where hes a school shooter and just look like 😶 🤨 while the comments are saying how hot he is!!

And finally like 3 yrs ago, "Wilbur Soot" the mcyt guy.... yeah. Guess why? Bcc a friend was obsessed wwith him 😭😭😭😭

Consistently being a little liar, woohoo🎉

okay so like. i can see why women might find him attractive. i feel completely neutral about his appearance which i guess is a good sign? i dont know�� but he looks symmetrical so good for him. also when googling him a shirtless pic popped up and i had the same reaction as u 😭truly idk what the appeal is when it comes to men’s bodies. theyre lacking boobies which looks wrong and shaped weird…

absolutely horrendous. basically all his featured combined together are wrong. he reminds me of a monkey a little idk why.

i had to google “ezra miller hot” just to find a semi-decent picture of him… and still what came up was meh at best. he looks like a semi-decent looking eastern european-ish man. his nose looks wrong and his eyes are very far apart but i imagine women with his exact features would be beautiful. also his jaw is like that one guy on tiktok

and the last guy…

hes okay… i guess… but i saw pics of him not smiling and he looks very ugly in them. he looks alright when hes smiling. i hate his vibe tho…. hes suspicious

Do not worry they will have their moments in shadow Au! I have thought of him almost getting some lmao but he does end up getting a kissy still so like really glad that you also want them together cause I was worried my brain was making them really soft and mushy only for it not go that way

Also love that you want him to have both lmao because the thought of him with both is for me very amusing look at him absolutely winning the girlfriend lottery but again I was worried he mightve been a bit more monogamous so didn't wanna be rude by having him potentially getting some from both but like Darkness likes him enough she's still naturally wary but he's good looking wouldn't mind allying with him but I think she would like let him know like look I don't feel romantic attraction, you're still hot I'd still tap but I can't offer you romance because she's not gonna say she loves him if she doesn't. So she's not gonna lead him on if she thinks they're getting serious it would be kind of purely physical for her with her finding him attractive and trusting him as a potential ally who isn't gonna try to kill her lmao like those are her standards attractive and not wanting her dead XD but yea so as long as he doesn't mind that it's just physical she's down to clown lmao. Plus he can get soft mushy feelings and stuff from May

Again these guys consume my thoughts I love em so much

Yeah!! Syn can absolutely love Darkness as a friend and just bang platonically. Pre-corruption him might lean more monogamous (probably with May), but if he's being written as his current corrupt self and in the future beyond, he would be open to having more than one partner. Now, he might be a bit possessive of both partners, but... nobody said he was perfect.

I love kissies in ships so much. Like I personally am sex-repulsed so kissies are like Top Tier Affection in my book.

🤝 Anxiety about asking to ship with basically a stranger LOL

Phantom Pains

Inspired by This Stunning Artwork and POV-Scene from In Unity, a young-Silco/Reader oneshot. @styranki is incredible and is a MUST-follow.

Warnings: Nightterrors, ANGST, blood, disturbing imagery, traumatic experience, drowning, slight disorientation, hurt/comfort

Panting, the water riveting down his body, Silco mightve been above the waves. Breathing-in air, but the dark water was clinging, dragging him already, back into it's depths.

Not again!

He begged in a silent scream, again clawing at the hot, burning water that sprung from his eye. Had he just not escaped them? Clawing between the scarlet and maroon waves, filled with his and another's blood? How could Silco be back, so soon?

Hasn't he had enough?

Not AGAIN!

The waves that pool from his eye begin gathering at his lips, his neck. They pooled onto his tongue, and coiled around his throat, toxins seeping as salt, from a damned Son's ichor and the sea, taints his taste.

Hands at his throat. Claws of a beast, and with an particularly cruel act of destroying his hopes, he is returned to his tomb beneath the waves of blood once more.

Eternal damnation, of his trust. Not for the Brother that put him here initially, burying him beneath murky waves instead of dirt, but whatever faceless entity holds him under this time.

Sometimes it's an Enforcer. Fitting, but when hasn't his nightmares included their crimes one way or another?

No, the real horror comes whenever he is dragged back to surface, to take-in yet another final breath before he's torturously shoved back into the bloody depths. Because it's not always Vander, but another Brother. Another Sister. Another face he trusted, another he swore to defend till death and who vouched for his protection under their watch as well.

The Children of Zaun kill him, each and every night.

It's unsurprising, really, for Vander already destroyed brotherhood for Silco.

Why shouldn't everything else be ruined? It would match his face.

But tonight, a special-guest has been invited to drag him by his throat from the waves. Claws that bite, and blood is not just filling his tongue from the outside, but in. Hands drag him up, and blinking away blood from one eye, but never, ever again the other, Silco gazes upon his new tormentor of his dreams.

A dead eye, and one halfway to death as it leaks as much read as him. But the hands are strong, enough to give biting claw-marks to his neck, that match the ones that adorn his cold, ashen skin.

Silco, with mouth full of blood, water and toxins, chokes on his screams as his own phantom plunges him back into the waves.

Those hands, his own ghosts hands, drag from his throat, his jaw, his cheeks-

"Silco!"

The (alive) Son of Zaun bursts his mouth open first, catching air on his tongue before his eyes open next. He's flinching back at a figure above him, hands on him, but pleas trap on his tongue as he pants, and stares up at you.

You frown down at him with dark-bags under your eyes, reflecting his own exhaustion. Silco realizes with a jolt how close you are, and that the hands on his face are not that of a ghost of himself but your own, cupping both his cheeks securely.

Silco fails not to take note of the fact that you are almost cradling his bandaged, still-scarred cheek in your palm. Out of necessity, to avoid opening fresh wounds and spilling blood-

He's grateful, in a way, that you're so focused on verbally attempting to sooth him, so you miss the way his body flinched just at the thought of the core-element of his nightmares. Something Silco will fight to control, for he refuses to go through life terrified of water and blood, two of the essentials for existance.

"Silco, you are safe,” You swore gripping his face securely, forcing him to look up to you. “Your mind is playing tricks, telling you you’re stuck wherever you were, but you’re not, you’re here with me, and i’m going to keep you safe."

The man tries, not to think of his Brother, when you look him in the eyes and promise to protect him, to keep him safe.

He tries, and the only thing that comes to mind is the water. The claws at his throat, water and bile spilling and racing though his mouth...

Then your hands move, and the only thing on his mind is the fact that your touch is leaving him. That those warm, steady palms on his cheeks are fleeting and he's losing the only achor that keeps him pulled from the depths of the water in his mind. Silco can't help it - and slams his remaining eye shut, grateful the other is sightless behind it's bandage as he pulls in a harsh breath.

His throat aches at the pain. But he's glad of it, glad for another anchor, another link to keep him above the waves of his mind, even only for a few moments more...

The waves are just beginning to lap again when he feels warmth, so different from the frigid waters that are already leaking into his mind as exhaustion takes over, curl around his palm. Your hand squeezes once. He knows he will not be brought to shore tonight, but Silco feels steady, to have a link tonight. A link to keep him connected, not by hands around his throat to squeeze and plunge him into nightmarish waters, but by a palm in his. It keeps him... afloat.

Not sinking, or brought back to shore, but afloat.

His mind, which returns to darkness, but not the bloodied waters tonight, decided that he can handle staying afloat by your touch.

-

Join the Taglist: @mazikomo @ironandglass @dropssofjupitter @sweatandwoe @syx-00 @bb-8 @agoutighost @lackofhonor @atalldrinkofcaprisun @betasuppe @wanna-plan-world-domination @zillahvathek @aboveasphodel @ladykatakuri @intpthinkinginquiet @my-awakened-ghost @rosmariner @soullessbody @elleryblu @marina-and-the-memes

so for like a few days now ive been giving kirby characters spongebob quotes because i have nothing better to do in school and.... it mightve turned into the most insane au ive ever made (nvm just remembered the shrek au i made of kirby)

Spongebob = Bandana Dee

Patrick = Kirby

Squidward/Sandy = Meta Knight

Mr. Krabs = King Dedede

-

Meta Knight: Don’t be intimidated Meta, just try to imagine him in his underwear...

*Buff King Dedede*

Meta Knight: OH NO HE’S HOT!

-

Meta Knight: So how many of you have used a sword before?

Bandee: Do spears count?

Meta Knight: No.

Kirby: Is mayonnaise a sword?

Meta Knight: No Kirby, mayonnaise is not a sword.

Meta Knight: ...Horseradish is not a sword either.

-

Kirby: Well then I guess your gonna miss the Food Raid.

King Dedede: ...The what?

Kirby: I said... *big gasp* I guess your gonna miss the FOOD RAID.

-

Bandee: Aww, cheer up Hyness! It could be worse! 

Kirby: Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose.

-

Bandee (Trying to defeat Chaos Eliflis): NOTHING’S WORKING!

Kirby: Wait Bandee! We’re not cavemen! We have more copy abiltiies.

Kirby: *Proceeds to annihilate Chaos Eliflis with Wild Hammer*

*Chaos Eliflis enters a second phase*

Bandee: It didn’t work...

-

And then... The Big One...

Adeline: OK Dark Meta Knight, are you ready for your first day of Goodness School?

Dark Meta Knight: Yeah...

Adeline: Alrighty, goodness lesson number one! You see someone drop their wallet... Dedede drop the wallet.

*Dedede drops the wallet*

Adeline: Now, what do you do?

DMK: Excuse me sir, but I do believe you’ve dropped your wallet.

Dedede: Doesn’t look familiar to me.

DMK: ...What? I just saw you drop it. HERE.

Dedede: It’s not mine.

DMK: IT IS YOURS. I, am trying to be a good person and return it to you.

Dedede: Return what to who?

*DMK smacks his face in annoyance*

DMK: Aren’t you, King Dedede?

Dedede: Yep.

DMK: And this is your ID?

Dedede: Yep.

DMK: Well, I found this ID, in this wallet, and if that’s the case then this must be YOUR WALLET.

Dedede: That makes sense to me.

DMK: Then take it!

Dedede: It’s not my wallet.

DMK: YOU MOTHERFUCKIN FEATHERBALL YOU BETTER TAKE THIS WALLET OR I’LL RIP YOUR ARMS OFF.

*Adeline then proceeds to spray DMK with a water spritzer*

-

Idk, i just thought these were hilarious. At least to me. I might make a comic out of these.

Tbh if you actually like answering early fandom questions I have like a million (btw it’s me again from the last 2)

You mentioned before that you were kind of out of the fandom by Danger Days but do you remember what the reaction was when Gerard talked about drinking again?

Did many og fans stick around or did they really turn on the band? Like I know you said bullets ppl hated revenge but did it grow on them eventually?

What did ppl think when Gerard and Lynz married???? That one I really want to know bc when I was newer in the fandom everyone kissed her ass like crazy and it seems like ppl have only recently realized she and msi aren’t the greatest.

Ok! Hey!!!! I kind of love you for all of these btw. this is gonna be LONG. SO yes, I was totally out of fandom at that point. However, I do follow a few blogs and I remember when the article was posted where he talked about his struggle with an ED and starting to drink again during DD. Personally, I was kind of. In shock? I didn't realize how much he was struggling at the end of it tbh. I think it also took a lot of older fans out a little bit too. It kind of made him a tangible human being rather than this formative icon we idolized. Saying that sounds awful. But at the beginning, because there was no social media, we had NO idea what the guys were actually like irl. They were human, obviously, but they were people we had put on a pedestal and we could project onto them, y'know? We had interviews and such, but the first glimpse we got into ~the real them~ was LOTMS, which was a highly edited version of the truth that fell into the stereotypes we kind of built. It glossed over Gerards addiction pretty rapidly. Reading his struggle at the end of MCR and DD broke my heart. This band did SO much for me, and a lot of us, but we never took into account how much it was taking from them or Gerard. That's all I can really say about it? Like I said, I wasn't in the fandom. So this was mostly my perspective. No one turned on the band. I think we just kind of grew up and started experiencing new things. Our interests change and merge as we get older. Some things I got from being an MCR fan stuck with me forever - i.e, my love of horror films and graphic novels, as well as my forever love of the guys. But the music wasn't what I needed anymore, yknow? I have diagnosed avoidant personality disorder, and severe depression as a result. My Chem helped me feel seen when I felt totally fucking invisible. It helped me form lasting friendships. I'm still friends with people I met in line to their shows in 2005, and on myspace. As I turned 19-20, my sadness started feeling more melancholy rather than anger. I listened to a lot of The National around then, and started getting seriously invested in film as a way of escapism. In regards to people hating revenge - I think a lot of people either left or stuck around for good. You can go back on old lj entries on the chemicalromance comm and read peoples reaction to Revenge songs. They hated how manufactured it sounded, hated how clean Gerards vocals were, HATED I'm Not Ok - thought it was too commercial for what they were prior. As someone who got into the via Revenge, it actually took some time to get used to the sound of Bullets! ALRIGHT. Ok. GERARD MARRYING LINDSEY. I wish I could figure out how to add a cut to tumblr now but IDK OK.  SOOO. Some background that y’all know but is needed for context. Gerard was in a LONG TERM relationship for YEARS with someone named Kat. No one has ever EVER seen her. Gerard only talked about having a girlfriend, thanked her in notes, and she is mentioned by some reporters sometimes (as goth looking). They break up. Gerard is ~technically~ single for like. a fuckin MONTH. then Eliza shit starts up (even tho she was alluding to being with him for fukin EVER). She fakes a pregnancy, they get engaged (around I Don’t Love You), shit was WILD. like BALLS TO THE WALL INSANE. I can go way way way more into this if y’all are interested just lemme know. THEY BREAK UP around the beginning of Pro Rev. Ok. OK. Within like. another fukin MONTH Gerard is seen MAKING OUT WITH LYNZ FROM FUCKIN MSI. They go to each others shows, seen holding hands ETC ETC. LIKE. THIS DUDE. This dude who had a LONG TERM GIRLFRIEND WE NEVER EVER SAW suddenly has had TWO PUBLIC RELATIONSHIPS IN THE SPAN OF NOT EVEN A YEAR.  also btw. We ALL thought he was gay, no fukin joke. Like I was saying earlier about not having any social media. We had an idea of what the guys were like from their stage personas and LOTMS. And like. Gerards Stage Persona is Loud. We thought Eliza mightve been a beard? Idk it was a weird time tbh.  BUT THEN THEN T H E N G AND L GET MARRIED????>>????? THEY HAD BEEN DATING A M ON TH. a MONTH. and they got fuckin MARRIED. The conspiracy theories, y’all, I can’t. IT WAS INSANE.  SO DUDE GETS ENGAGED TO SOMEONE, BREAKS UP, MAKES OUT WITH BASS PLAYER FROM MSI AND GETS MARRIED TO HER. ALL WITHIN T H R E E MONTHS.  goddamn.  So, ok. Last bit. Unfortunately the attitude towards language and WAS different back then. I know a lot of younger fans shit on older fans for saying so, but it WAS. It was totally different. MSI were seen as ~too cool, and their fans were pissed they went on tour with My Chem, etc. I wasn’t a fan, but I had seen them live a few times with a friend who was (not on Pro Rev). They just weren’t my thing and I hated Urines face. My friend who was actually a huge fan of BOTH msi and my chem separately was SHOCKED that G and Lindsey got together because their band and their vibes were so different. People mostly thought Lindsey was hot at the time but didn’t know anything about her, cuz again, no social media. Like, I cannot stress enough how much about these people we did not know. No one cared about their social lives or what they were like irl so we DIDN’T know how gross Urine and crew were. Like. A Huge factor as to why people were pissed and mad at Eliza was because she was making something Gerard obviously wanted to keep private into a public thing for attention and clout. Also, when he was being SO public with Lindsey it was shocking. Anyway I h8 msi. 

Yandere Megaera x Shade Reader, submitted by @faeleas (idk if i did it right, but hope you like it regardless. and im sorry it's a little long >_<")

~

it had taken so long for you to sneak back into the entrance to Asphodel to catch even a glimpse of the powerful fury without her detection, but now that you had your spot behind on of the pillars far off to the side, you stayed put, kept silent and didn't blink lest you lost one second of Megaera in the fullness of her element.

she was a blaze of glory, her strength vibrating through the air as she snapped out her whip again and again at the prince, slicing the very breath from your lungs as you gazed in awe. how wonderful and powerful she was to behold, and how enthralling it always would be to watch her fight, to see her wicked smile cut into her teal cheek as she overflowed with the desire to cut the Zagreus down and stop his progress.

you could almost feel the faint impression of a thundering heartbeat in your chest, and that sensation only swelled when Megaera caught Zagreus by the ankle with her whip and tossed him high into the air above her. you gaped, eyes on her alone and in your shock, your duty to silence fell away, the quiet suddenly broken with your small gasp.

Megaera was just about to deal a finishing blow to the haughty prince who'd dared challenge her again, who was so proud to believe he could best her in her own domain, when she heard it. she heard you.

time seemed to stutter as her gold eyes darted to every corner of the entrance to Asphodel, searching through the dim glow of flickering firelight for the source of the sound that broken her focused rage. after a second, her brazen gaze locked on you hidden in the shadows in the corner of her arena, hands clasped over your mouth and eyes wide with... something. as far as she knew, it should be fear. no shade had ever gotten this far away from the House of Hades, let alone made it inside this forbidden space, and yet, there you were, trembling as you held her narrowing gaze still.

why? what kind of foolishness mightve brought you to her? what a silly, brazen little shade you must be to even try, but before Megaera could consider any possibilities about what you might be made of, a searing pain tore through her lower back.

a gasp clawed out of her gut, dragging up with it a small splatter of blood that coated her lips. as Megaera tore her eyes from you to her stomach, she found the tip of Zagreus's sword lodged right through her waist.

"y-you... wre-etched... " she choked, then coughed again. with the little time she had left, Megaera looked over her shoulder at the young determined prince and snarled a smile full of bloody teeth before she spat, "next time, i-i will... have you... kneeling before m-me... Za-agreus."

the fury was beginning to fade, but with the very last moments of her current awareness, she threw a burning glare at you, daring you to try anything near her again.

Megaera snarled as she came to and pushed herself to her feet in the resurrection pool of blood, snatching her whip from the shallow beside her and quickly marching out, shaking the sticky blood from her hands and raking it out of her long lilac-blue ponytail. You were all she xould think about: the shade who had snuck in, distracted her, watched her get outmatched by that smart-mouthed prince of Hades. she had to find you and punish you as she saw fit.

blowing off Thanatos before he could say anything to her, not that her blazing rage that licked at the air around her like coughed up sputters of lava from a volcano didn't do enough to stop his attempt anyway, the Fury snapped out her one sharp wing and took off, rushing back to her domain in hopes that you had been petrified where you stood. when she landed with a thunderous crash and found you there still, a bubbling snarl rose to her throat.

"You." Megaera prowled towards you, cutting her whip through the air just to make you flinch, and just as you opened you mouth to apologise and explain, she roared and unleashed her weapon, the force of the wind caused by it's movement alone knocking you back into the very pillar you had been hiding behind. not a moment after you'd caught the breath knocked from your lungs did you find it firmly restricted once again, Megaera's whip binding you securely to the marble pillar itself.

Megaera stood with her arms crossed for a moment, her endless rage sparking under her teal skin, brightened by the gold ornaments that gleamed around her arms and waist and neck. she watched you squirm in the tight coil of her whip, a grin stretching across her rouged lips as your panicked eyes eventually met hers. you knew all she could do, and you could tell from her easy cadance walking close to you that she knew it also.

"Tell me, you impudent shade, why were you in my domain? for what reason would you think you could be here and not be discovered?"

Megaera purred, but her voice was devoid of warmth, promising that the wrong answer would only end in pain. she kept sauntering closer and closer to you until her iron breath caressed your face, then placing her hand beside your head on the pillar, the fury ran her tongue across her teeth, leaned over you and finished, "What made you think you were that clever to enter the arena of a Fury and escape unpunished? Do tell."

now you knew you had a heart, since it thumped hot and hard in every corner of your being. you couldn't pull your eyes from hers even though everything in you screamed to. you swallowed hard, knowing there was no way out of this so with a sigh, gave in and told the truth.

"I-I... I s-saw you once, in the lounge. I'd h-heard about you but... I just wanted to see you- to watch you fight, i mean."

Megaera frowned at your words but inside her, something was turning. "Is that so?"

you nodded quickly, then instantly shivered it when you watched the burning anger in her gaze reduce to a contained simmer, gold winking in the light of the fires around you both.

The Fury watched you, the hot blush in your cheeks, listened to the thundering of your heart in your chest, could almost taste the terrified awe in the air around you, not that she wasn't used to it. But... you thought she was incredible.

Megaera thought back to the fight with Zagreus, the moment she'd met your gaze, how wide and full of.. adoration it had been. it wasnt disgust, or disdain, or fear. it was... shock, awe maybe... something else.

"How long have you been watching me?" she whispered, leaning closer, pulling on the end of the whip and purring a smile when you whimpered.

the leather of her whip burned as it pressed into your throat, the hissing sting snatching every thought from your mind. after finding your breath, you tightly confessed, "I've... seen you fight Prince Z-Zagreus... 13 times. I didn't mean t-to intrude. I just.. wanted to see you fight for myself."

Megaera blinked twice quickly. 13 times. it took at least a week for Zagreus to get through all of Hades and reach the surface, so for 13 weeks you had been watching her, not in disgust, or disdain, something else that made you come back.

"Why?"

again the Fury pulled the whip tighter, and again it dug into your body, making you gasp as you blinked through the stinging pain, but as it subsided, you looked up into her honeyed gaze with desperation and honesty, muttering with embarrassed timidity. "I... think you're... really cool. Incredible, even. T-That's all."

Incredible.

a pulse flickered in Megaera's bottomless core. No one had ever used such a word to describe her in... longer than she knew. those words settled deep in Megaera's heart faster than she could stop them, and once they were there, everything in her clung to them like they were the only thing keeping her alive.

What were you that such simple words could elicit such a profound internal symphony that almost sent her shivering with shock? how could she have not known such power existed? when you looked at her with that pleading gaze, with eyes that were so raw with truth, full of goodness, of... something, it was impossible to lokk away. in your eyes was something that was more than respect, more than fear, more than adoration... love was the only thing more than all three.

yes, that must be the only explanation. You loved watching her, you loved seeing her fight, loved seeing her, loved her. You loved her. how fickle, how very mortal of you... and yet...

Megaera huffed a laugh as she stepped back to look at you, all of you that apparently loved all of her. The Fury couldn't believe it. a simple shade had risked everything to tell her, to show her that they loved her. how enrapturing.

the lilac haired punisher of jealousy was quickly overcome with something that, in the scope of all that had just happened, must felt like love too, but she wanted it for herself alone. this pulse of heat within her because of you and the way you looked at her, it was for her, and it would always be hers. anything that threatened to take it away would be destroyed. it had to be.

with that resolve fluttering inside her, Megaera gently brushed your cheek with the back of her fingers, then lifted your chin with her finger. when you flinched at her cool touch, she grinned and cooed sweetly, "Hm. Oh, my curious little shade. If you love it so much, then you will stay here to watch me. You will be able to witness my greatness for as long as you want, as many times as you want. Yes, you will stay right here, but if you betray this trust, there will be consequences. Have I made myself clear?"

As you nodded, likely out of fear of saying otherwise, Megaera's heart tightened once again. Yes, you loved her, and now, she would fight to show you how much that love meant, to prove that she was the only one you needed to love, to make you love her even more. It wouldn't be hard.

No one else would take your eyes from gazing upon her. Not Zagreus, not her sisters, not even Lord Hades himself. Your endless gaze was hers now, and by extension, so were you.

end

---

I'm so so sorry I only posted this just now but. Oh my Goddddd this is incredible holy shit!!! Thank you so, so much for submitting this I'm 👀👀👀👀👀 Ms. Megaera......

Thank you so so much again, I love your writing and prose, and I'm sorry for only getting to it now, the app doesn't show me notifications for submissions, just asks ;w;