I am honestly a failure like I can’t do anything right anymore and I feel sleepy all the time even if I spent the whole day sleeping. I don’t talk to my friends much anymore idk why. Just don’t feel like it. My parents call me lazy and I’m just unmotivated even when I try I don’t do well I just want to go back to the happy easy going active person I was and not this grumpy takes naps 24/7. I don’t have enough motivation to even make my bed. I hate myself...

Hi there and thank you for reaching out to us in the first place!

I’m so so sorry you are going through this, that you are feeling sleepy, tired and unmotivated!  But you are not a failure because of this! In the society we live in, being productive is what really matters. From school they taught us that we need to be productive, and suceed…and when we don’t do that for various reasons, we consider ourselves unworthy, lazy, we hate ourselves. What you are doing is enough. Even if it’s a small thing, it still counts.

It seems like this tiredness, lack of motivation is impacting your life and also your self esteem, since you said that you hate yourself because of this. You said that before you were an happy person, I suppose you weren’t like this. Has something happened in your life that made you feel like you are feeling now? Can you think back and see if something has changed? I would recommend to try and journal abut your mood. Try to explain in the journal how you were feeling in the past compared to now. It could help you to give you some insight on what’s happening now. Journaling in general is really a good thing and I really recommend it, to know yourself better! You could also track down your mood, and see what happens during the day, what influences your mood. There are a lot of apps for your phone that can help you to track down your mood! You tell the app how you are feeling and also activities you did during the day that could had possilbly influenced your mood!

Then what about speaking to someone abour this, telling someone how you are feeling? I’m talking about loved ones, close friends, teachers, mentors, people you feel comfortable with! I think here it could also be helpful to talk to your doctor about this change in your mood, abour your lack of motivation and energy in general! Because it seems like it’s really impacting the quality of your life, so I think talking to a doctor could be really helpful! There could be a tons of things that caused this change in your mood! If you can identify possible stressors, and write them down, it could really help you and the doctor. If you never did this, and if you want to do this, then schedule an appointment with your doctor and tell them exactly what you wrote here! They can help you, give you advice on what are the things you can do. I think they will check on you, check your general health via blood tests (because sometimes even a lack of nutrients or vitamines can cause these feelings). If you feel like your feelings could be mental health related, tell this to your doctor, and they can refer you to a therapist or other professionals. Don’t be scared of trying different things and of reaching out to someone! You don’t have to stay like this forever!

You are not a failure because you feel like this! We humans can go through phases like this in our lives, but that doesn’t mean we failed at life! I hope you can get better soon!Lots of love,Sara

Hi, so I'm having a hard time with ny friend and knowing if she's not being a very good friend or if I just have too high of expectations. I have ptsd and whenever I get triggered or something, and I reach out to her, she doesn't really do anything to comfort me and sometimes argues with me about what's happening. I understand that if I ask, people are going to give their opinion whether I like it or not, and I know that I can't expect people to help me when I'm in that state. (Continues)

(I’m the person asking about my friend.) It has been hurting my feelings and making me feel like I should distance myself. The thing is we’ve been friends for over 14 years and I don’t want this relationship to be messed up because I have to high of expectations. Do you think it could just be a personality trait and she’s just not a very comforting person? Thank you so much for having this blog, I think it really helps.

Hi there,

This is a very interesting question! I suppose I am confusedas to what you mean by saying that your friend argues with you about what’shappening. Do you mean that she says things like, “It’s not a big deal, you’rejust overreacting”? Or is the issue more that she objects to you bringing it upin the first place?

Regardless of your answer to the above question, I thinkit’s unlikely that you have to drop her as a friend entirely.  If she objects to you bringing it upaltogether, it might be upsetting and insensitive of her, but if she can’t bepersuaded on that then you may not be able to open up to her anymore. But thegood news is, you can still be friends with her! You may have to, as you say,distance yourself, but I don’t think that doing so is an all-or-nothing thing.If she treats you well during the times when you’re not panicking, and shegenerally makes you feel happy and good about yourself when you spend timetogether, then I don’t necessarily think you need to cut her off entirely.

That said, it is absolutely possible that she is just not avery comforting person by nature. And I think that’s an even better sign,because it doesn’t eliminate the possibility that she still cares about you!Assuming that what you meant was that she tells you that you’re overreacting, thenI think that may just be her way of trying to help. Lots of people try to helptheir loved ones in the way that they think is best, and many times that’sbased off of what they, personally, want. If that’s the case, then mysuggestion would be to try reaching out to other friends when you’re panickingand seeing if some of them have a response that you like more. That way, if youfeel like you need a different response you can know where to turn. Also, youmight find that there are times when it would help you to be told you’reoverreacting, in which case you could turn to your friend again.

Moreover, I definitely think you could benefit from findingprofessional help to cope with your PTSD, if you are not doing so already.While relying on friends does have some benefits that a therapist cannotprovide, such as being physically present in a moment of crisis, at the end ofthe day a professional is going to be the most useful in helping you figure outhow to move past whatever caused your PTSD. But whether or not you reach out toa professional or simply other friends, I think you will feel a lot better oncethis girl is no longer your only source of support.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

Ok, so my dad constantly makes "jokes" that put me down in general, controls/corrects my behavior, blames me/yells at me for simple/irrelevant things, and he has humiliated me/tried to make me feel bad in front of others multiple times. I've read through the signs of emotional abuse, but just to be sure, does this count? Is this abuse? He also does this to my stepmother. Should I be worried for my/her safety regarding to the possible escalation to physical abuse? Thanks.

Hi there,

So based on what you’ve said here, your dad’s behaviorcertainly checks off a lot of boxes for emotional abuse, and I think you can bereasonably confident in calling it that. However, to my knowledge there is notnecessarily a correlation between emotional and physical abuse, and just basedon what you’ve said I don’t see why that would necessarily be the case.

That doesn’t mean it’s not possible though, and if it wouldmake you feel safer, maybe you could sit down with your mother and come up witha plan for how to feel safer in the event that you need to leave. For example,are there any friends or relatives that live nearby who could let you live withthem should the situation come to that? Maybe just having that plan in placecould help you feel more secure.

As for how to deal with the emotional abuse in the meantime,have you considered discussing it with a therapist? Talking things over with aprofessional could be very helpful, because it will make it easier for you tonot internalize all the things your dad is saying. You can find out more aboutgetting help here.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

How do you tell someone you self harm. I have tried and the person I told now thinks I only have thoughts of self harming, and haven’t actually done it. They told me that they would be really upset if I did and want me to speak to my therapist about these ‘thoughts.’ I couldn’t tell my therapist about self harming as she works at my school and we currently have a nice relationship just talking about my anxiety. Could you offer any advice?

Hi there, 

I can definitely see why you would feel like you can’t tellanyone about your self-harm. With regards to your friend, it’s hard for me totell if when you say they would be upset, you mean they would be worried or youmean they would be angry with you. If it’s the latter case, then that’sprobably not the best reaction on their part, but that’s not your fault. Ifthey just mean that the would be concerned though, I think that even though itmight not be a pleasant conversation, you should still consider telling them.It seems to me like they at least care about you. 

It’s good that they’re encouraging you to speak to yourtherapist about this though (and it’s also good that you’re already seeingone). Again, I can also see why you wouldn’t want to disrupt the relationshipthat you have with your therapist by suddenly bringing in a new issue, but ifyou know she has been helpful in the past when discussing your anxiety, youstill may want to consider it.

If the thought of telling her in person that you self harmis too scary, do you think you could tell it to her in writing? This could bethrough sending her an email, or through a handwritten letter, whichever youfeel more comfortable with. You could also combine the two and read somethingyou’ve written beforehand, even if they’re just notes. I do hope you considertelling your therapist though.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

I have never told anyone this before. I have been clean from cutting myself for almost 4 and a half years now however I feel that I am lying to myself when I say I am clean from self harm entirely. Since I stopped cutting, I seemed to start picking at the skin on my feet and it’s definitely become something that I do when I feel stressed or nervous and I feel so relaxed after. I have so many scabs on my feet and it’s time for me to stop...I just have no idea how? I don’t want therapy again :(

Hi there,

So first, regarding your concern that you’re lying toyourself, I think it’s okay to say that there’s a middle ground here. What Imean is, I think it’s okay to say that you’ve broken free of the urge to cut(which is absolutely an accomplishment), while at the same time admitting thatyou still have some underlying issues that need to be addressed. Perhapsputting it in those terms will give you a sense of encouragement.

On that note, it might help to think back on what you did tostop cutting that worked for you. I’m sure your circumstances may have changedin a lot of ways since then, but is there anything you had access to 4 and ahalf years ago that you still have access to now? That could even be somethingas small as distraction methods like music or drawing that you might have used.(And maybe those resources weren’t ones that you utilized in the past, but theycan still be ones you can find a way to access now! Sometimes a lot ofself-harm recovery is just about waiting for an impulse to pass, and you mayfind that if you just give yourself five minutes to do something else, you’llend up feeling a lot better.

Finally, I know you said you didn’t want to go back totherapy, and I’m sure you have reasons for that, but I also think it might beworth considering to give it a try again. Ultimately, as good as it is to relyon everyday self-help methods, self-harm issues are often caused by otherthings that are more deep-rooted, and so it’s good to not keep these things toyourself. If there’s any way you could regain access to these resources, Iwould consider it. 

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

An ex friend of mine seems to be in trouble. Her own ex (now platonic partner idk) seems to want to kill himself in the next 3 days because she moved on like he wanted her to do, and got a new love interest. Thats not saying she doesn't give him attention, but now he is threatening to kill himself all because she found love, and unless she just dumps her new guy, he's going to do it. And I can't do anything about it but watch because my ex friend doesn't..talk to me anymore. because of him.

Hi there,

First, I want to acknowledge that this incident is probablylong over with by now, and I’m sorry we weren’t able to answer it in a fewdays. Unfortunately, we have a policy of answering the oldest questions in ourask box first, so we can’t always answer time-sensitive questions. That beingsaid, I hope you can still apply this advice to future situations.

Anyway, one thing I will point out is that while beingsuicidal does not mean one is attention-seeking, it is not unheard of for exesto abuse their former partners by threatening suicide if said partners seem tobe moving on. I don’t know enough about the situation to say for sure, but it’sworth considering that such threats may have been unfounded.

That being said, I can definitely relate to how distressingit can be when someone you’re not on good terms with anymore seems to needsupport. Are there any mutual friends you could talk to about this, just tocheck in and at least get news back that she’s getting the help that she needs?Even if you can’t be the one to help her, it may give you peace of mind to knowthat she’s figuring things out. Alternatively, if there’s any mutual authorityfigure that you have who may be able to help, don’t be afraid to ask themeither. In any case, I hope you’re getting the support that you need duringthis time as well.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck 

Sarah

I’ve got a guy bestie, he likes me, I have feelings for him, but idk how to deal my last relationship was 3-4 years and the guy was abusive, I’m totally over him it’s been ages. This guys my bestie should I take a chance should I date him and see what happens he’s liked me for so long and I feel as if I’m not letting myself like anyone should I go for it ? Or am I thinking stupid? I keep telling my self I don’t like him coz I’m scared of hurt, but deep down I do ?

Hi there,

So based on what you’ve said here, I don’t think there’sanything wrong with considering a new relationship. It’s totally understandablethat you’d be trying to shut off your emotions for fear of getting hurt again,but I think that’s a problem that can be fixed! It doesn’t have to mean thatthis relationship is out of the question.

Making it work will take active effort on your part though.I’m just wondering, have you spoken to a therapist regarding your abusiverelationship? You say you’re totally over it and that’s awesome, but even so itmight be a good idea to touch base with one in order to process that fully.These are often complicated issues, and it’s okay if you find out that thereare still some issues that need to be addressed. You can find more informationabout getting help here.

The other important thing is that if you do start arelationship with this guy, it’s important that you’re able to be honest withhim about your situation. To clarify, I’m not saying you have to tell him yourfull story; after all, it is your story and you absolutely have the right tothat privacy. But I do think it could help to at least give him a heads up:something along the lines of, “I really do like you, but I’ve had a badexperience in the past and it may affect how I act around you sometimes.” Also,does your best friend know your ex, and/or do you still have to see your ex ona daily basis? Both of those may be factors to consider as you decide how toproceed.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

(1/2) I'm trying to be supportive of my friend's relationship, but her bf has shown toxic behaviors because of his own mistrust of previous relationships where he's been cheated on. I don't think it's as straight-forward as abuse, but it's not healthy. He has a general lack of boundaries to the point where it's kind of annoying now... (This is the same guy who wanted to invite his abuser "friend" without considering me). I want her to be with a much healthier guy who doesn't (Bones)

(2/2) do shit like change her social media passwords and get suspicious of any guy. Lowkey, although I’m not sure if I’m completely admitting this to myself, I would be relieved if they broke up (I.e she broke up with him) (Bones). I tried being completely happy for the relationship, but… she could find someone better and healthier, and her loving him isn’t enough for a relationship.

Hi Bones, 

Thanks for writing in to us! I can definitely see why youwould be concerned by this behavior.

You seem to acknowledge that your friend’s boyfriend isprobably reacting more out of fear than malice, and I think realizing that is agood start. I still think you’re right that it’s not healthy behavior though.

I notice that you don’t really mention how your friendherself reacts to this guy’s behavior though, and what her reaction is maydetermine the steps you take in talking to her. If she seems exhausted anddistressed by this behavior (even if she’s not consciously aware of it), thenit definitely sounds like something you should bring up. You mentioned that herloving him isn’t enough of a reason to stay in a relationship with him, whichsounds like it’s something she’s said in the past when you’ve brought this up,but even so, I think the way she says it matters in terms of figuring out what’sgoing on in her head.

Unfortunately, if she’s not showing any outward signs ofdistress, then I don’t think there’s a lot you can do for now. You should tryto be supportive and nonjudgmental if and when they do get into fights/breakup, but at the same time I don’t think you have to put that much pressure onyourself to be happy for her if it bothers you that much. There’s definitelymerit and validity to the way that you’re seeing things, but you just have toremember to let her make her own decisions and not put any blame on her whenbad things do happen.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

Hey, So I have a friend with bad mental health, and I'm who she comes to talk to. This is fine, but I'm also struggling with mentaly, but anytime I try and talk to her (about mental health or just in general) she always makes it about herself, I don't know what to do, as she doesn't realise others have their own problems, and giving me hers is making me worse off, but I want to stop helping her, as she has done life threatening stuff before, I don't know is this makes sense, but thank you xx

Hi there, 

Thanks for writing in to us! I think this is a relativelycommon problem, actually.

While it’s certainly nice of you to want to help yourfriend, you also shouldn’t have to handle this yourself, especially if she hasserious mental health issues. I think a good first step for you to take wouldbe to reach out to an adult who knows both of you. If you know each otherthrough something like school or church, this could be a teacher or pastor,respectively. If you just know each other through something else though, thenmaybe you could talk to someone in her family, or even your family. Just aslong as it’s an adult who is understanding about the situation and wants what’sbest for your friend 

Once you have that adult in question, I suggest the three ofyou sit down and talk about what’s been going on. Make it clear to your friendthat you care about her and want her to be okay, but that she’s been expectinga lot from you lately and that that needs to change. Explain as gently as youcan that you’re not a professional, and that sometimes our problems are sodeeply rooted that it takes more than just talking to a good friend to solve them;this is definitely true with regards to the fact that she has threatened toharm herself before.

Also, feel free during this conversation to tell her how itmakes you feel when she turns your problems on herself when you try to talk toher. It’s possible that she doesn’t know that she’s doing this, but it’sdefinitely a problem and you have the right to at least make her aware of that,as well as to distance yourself from her if she can’t change that behavior.

Do you know if your friend is in counseling of any kind? Ifnot, it might help to point her towards resources that can help her get thatset up; you can find our own page on getting help here. Sometimes people simplydon’t know where to start when it comes to getting help, and that’s okay, butit’s also a problem that can be fixed.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

I've known this person for almost ten years. She's been very clingy with me and it makes me uncomfortable. There had been times where she would ask me to come over to her house more than once, even when I've said no, and I feel like I have to lie to tell her no because I'm afraid of her feeling like I'm mad or about to leave her. Sometimes she'll tell me she misses me as well. She has severe anxiety, and I try to help her too, but it's too much. What can I do? Please tag as Babie.

Hi Babie, 

Thanks for writing in to us about this situation! I candefinitely feel for you, as I’ve actually been on both sides of your situationfar more than once (each).

I think it’s important to understand that even closefriendships need to have boundaries. Respecting someone’s wishes is reallyimportant, and the fact that she has tried to get you to come over to her houseeven after you’ve already said you couldn’t (if I’m understanding thatcorrectly) definitely strikes me as a problem that needs to be solved 

Now, from what you’ve said here it seems like you haven’tactually talked to her about how you feel yet, and that your fears are mostlyjust based on her temperament. If that’s the case, do you think you couldconsider bringing it up with her in a polite way? You could write her a letterif that makes you more comfortable. That being said, this would only work ifyou think you have evidence that she’s capable of changing her behavior inresponse to criticism; for example, I can think of at least two friends whohave asked me gently not to invite myself into their dorm rooms, and eventhough it stung a little at the time I also didn’t need to be asked twice—and I’mstill friends with both of those people. But if you think she would just lashout or get upset, however, this may not be the best approach.

But I think that not talking about this and letting it buildup is a recipe for worse problems down the line. In particular, I will say frommy own experience that not wanting to tell her because you don’t think she canhandle it is probably not a good idea—and if you do decide to tell her, itshould come from you and not someone else.

If you do decide to talk to her, you just have to make sureyou frame it correctly. You mentioned that you’re afraid she’ll think you’remad at her or about to leave her, so start off by establishing that you stillcare about her, and make sure you feel like she understands that before youexpress your criticisms. This definitely has to be done in the right way, butit’s totally possible as long as you approach the situation with kindness.

Finally, I know you said she has anxiety, but I just wantedto remind you that that doesn’t mean you have to be responsible for her. It’skind of you to help her out, but it’s also totally okay if it’s too much foryou, as you say it is, and it’s okay to encourage her to see a professional forher anxiety if she’s not doing so already. 

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

Hey it's 111 again! Thanks so much for answering my question, Sarah. I forgot to mention that my mom does know that I was abused. We don't really talk about it though. A few weeks ago she was touching me again in a way that made me uncomfortable. I told her not to touch me, but she got defensive and said "I made you! I can touch you!" I'll be getting a new therapist soon so I'll be sure to talk about this problem with them. Thanks for the advice xx

Hey 111,Thanks for following up with me! I’m sorry it took so long to respond, and I’m also sorry to hear that sticking up for yourself with your mom didn’t work–if it helps, I definitely don’t agree with her argument, and I hope your new therapist is able to help you find other ways of solving this problem. 

Best of luck,Sarah

Hi, it's Milli! I feel like my counselor doesn't take my issues seriously. I tell her that I don't like myself and she knows that I self harm and I told her I am socially anxious and she just tells me I should be more open and that she was shy as well. I don't know what to do, because I have to stick with her for 17 more sessions because of my insurance. I also feel like I can't tell her of my suicidal thoughts, but they are becoming worse every day....Any idea what I could do?

Hi Milli,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time with yourtherapist! It can be tough when it feels like therapists don’t take you veryseriously, and the fact that her response to your social anxiety was to tellyou that she used to be shy as well and that you should just open up could verywell have been well-intentioned, but it also tells me that she probably doesn’thave a nuanced sense of what you’re going through.

It’s definitely understandable that insurance issues wouldmake it hard for you to switch therapists and/or quit, but there may still bethings you can do to make the experience easier. Ideally in therapist-patientrelationships, it’s really important that both parties take time to talk abouthow their connection with each other is going if something is wrong. My pointis that if you haven’t already, it’s okay to tell her how her responses aremaking you feel. If it makes you feel minimized when she acts like your socialanxiety can be solved simply by being more open with people, tell her so—youcould do this right when it happens, but you could also do it at the end of thesession or at the start of the next session if you need a little time to calmdown. And you don’t have to do it orally if that makes you too uncomfortable;you can write her a letter or an email if that helps you.

Ultimately, I think your therapist deserves the benefit ofthe doubt with regards to her intentions, but that doesn’t mean that it’s notstill hurting you. Your experiences are still valid. I’m sure quite a fewsessions have passed since you sent this in so I don’t know how things aregoing, but if this is still a problem then the best I can say is that I hopeyou are able to stay resilient in spite of all this and that you’re notinternalizing her words too much. It also helps to make sure you have othersupport systems in addition to your therapist—even if you’re not directlytalking to anyone else about anything, making sure you have places where youfeel like you belong can make a big difference. But the good news is, this won’tlast forever.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

Ive always been insecure about my appearance, but lately it's gotten awful. I dont want to leave my house bc Im thinking about my looks. My main insecurities are my nose + my weight. I think this comes from my mum moaning at me about my weight from 5 y/o to present (but she says it in a nicer way the last yearish) + bullying. I'm beginning to think I have body dysmorphia because I avoid people looking at me and I'm constantly thinking about the way I look. What can I do?!?? Tag as jeannie

Hi Jeannie,

I’m sorry to hear that this is such a struggle for you! Ifit’s any consolation, I think this is a really common problem and you’redefinitely not alone.

My first question for you would be, are you in therapy atthe moment? If not, that might be a good thing to look into. It might seemscary, but it’s also really helpful and it can help you figure out how to undosome of your fears that may be unfounded. If you’re truly in a state where youcan’t leave your house, then I can imagine that this issue has a profoundimpact on your life, and you deserve to get help for it. And the good news itthat when it comes to therapy, there are ways to find people who specialize inhelping people with certain issues, so you can factor that into your search.Anyway, you can read more about getting help here.

The truth is, everyone you meet when you leave the house isgoing to be worrying more about themselves than about what you’re doing. I knowthat can be hard to believe, especially in the moment, and if you’ve struggledwith this for a long time then it may be something you’ve heard before. But itis true, and I still think it’s still worth putting out there.

In the meantime, is there anyone in your life right now thatyou feel like you trust enough to reach out to? Maybe you might be more willingto be outside your house if you know you’re with someone who won’t judge you;sometimes just having someone like that around can help reduce your anxiety.You could also try rewarding yourself in some way whenever you do manage to getout of the house—that could be with Netflix, a new dessert, a fun activity—whateverworks for you, really. But based on what you’ve said here, I think you shouldtry therapy first.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

hey, it's mermaid again. I got back with my boyfriend that I stated I had broken up with a while ago. I sometimes question whether I should have gotten back with him, and I feel like I can't trust him as much as I did before, because he really hurt me. he apologised immensely and wants me to start trusting him again, but i'm having a hard time doing that. could you give me some advice on this situation? tysm, much love, hope you're all having a great day

Hi mermaid,

So first, I just want to clarify that I have the rightperson—there is an ask here tagged mermaid, which was answered a few daysbefore you sent this question in, about how you wanted to know how to focus onyourself again after a breakup. Was that your ask?

Regardless of whether or not it was, my answer to thisquestion depends on a lot of factors. It’s worth pointing out thatrelationships can continue after people have broken up for a while, but the keyis that that can only happen if the issues that caused the breakup in the firstplace have been resolved. But you said that he really hurt you in the past, andI don’t think that’s the kind of issue that is temporary in the way thatsomething like problems with long distance or schoolwork might be. If you’rehaving a hard time trusting him again, there’s probably a good reason for that,and it’s okay to acknowledge that the dynamics of your relationship havechanged.

I also think you should consider how long it has been sinceyou broke up. Particularly if you’re still struggling with rebuilding yourself-worth as you talked about in your last message, that’s definitely a goalthat you should be certain you’ve accomplished before you get involved in anycontact with him.

Based in what you’ve written, I can tell that you still careabout him, and that’s totally normal. I personally don’t think there’s anythingwrong with caring for the well-being of someone you’ve been through a lot with,even if the experience is over. But if he did something that betrayed yourtrust, then I think the way you can manage that is by demoting him fromboyfriend to friend. That way, you’ve established a boundary while alsoestablishing that you care about him. All that being said, I do think you shouldcut off all contact from him until you have a solid sense of self. Then you cango from there.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

hi! i took a couple of bipolar tests online ( may i add that it clearly stated that these results should not be taken as a diagnosis or a recommendation for therapy ) and i scored moderately to severe. i was wondering if that means i should at least take these results into consideration and talk to my parents about it?

Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch with us here at MHA! I’m gladyou already realize that taking online tests like that should not be used as adiagnostic tool, though I’m still gonna link you to our page explaining theproblems with self-diagnosis just so you can look it over.

Anyway, my main question for you is, why did you take thesetests? Sometimes people do that kind of thing just because they’re bored, andthat’s totally fine, but if that’s the only reason you were looking this stuffup then you probably don’t have anything to worry about.

However, more often than not I think that people take thosetests because certain symptoms have been troubling them lately, and they wantto figure out if there’s something going on. If you think that may be a reasonwhy you took the tests, then yeah, I’d say it’s worth speaking up about.

As for how this conversation will go, there are things youcan do to make it go more smoothly. For one thing, you might try to talk toyour parents one-on-one if you think that might be less intimidating. You alsodon’t necessarily have to present it as this big, dramatic presentation; justslip it in casually. Make sure it’s at a time when both parties have energy andwon’t be distracted or interrupted by other things.

If you know that your parents have a tendency to beinsensitive or not understanding when it comes to issues of mental health, itmight help to have the conversation in the presence of someone you trust who isunderstanding and can back you up, or maybe to enter the conversation preparedwith resources on bipolar disorder. But no matter what, remember that yourproblems are valid and you deserve to get help.

I hope all of this helps you. Best of luck!

Sarah

I sent an ask signed syd but haven't seen it yet. Do you still have it?

Hey, Syd!

You sent your ask on February 5th. Unfortunately our wait time is super long at the moment, but as it stands your question is the ninth one from the bottom, and you can definitely expect it to be answered sometime this week!

Sarah