wah

WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

There's this guy, Dr Russell Barkley, he does talks on ADHD. I've come across a fair bit of his content on various platforms.

Every time I see one of his videos I end up in tears. Usually within the first few minutes.

He speaks very plainly and clearly about the function of ADHD. He presents a realistic picture of what is happening and what is required.

I came across this one:

In typical fashion, I found myself crying within a few minutes.

Because other than schooling I have never had a support system. I have never had a single person in my life really hold me accountable. I have never had anyone work with me to create some kind of structure or consistency.

Everything he said, even within the first minutes, resonated with me so deeply. Because I honestly have no idea if I can do this alone. And it scares me that I might wind up getting nowhere because I am lacking in support.

ADHD is manageable. But it is damn near impossible to manage alone.

I just don't know where to go from here.

“Dennis is asshole. Why Charlie hate?”  “Because Dennis is a bastard-man!”

SOME THINGS I LOVE: [4/10] Friendships  Charlie Kelly and Dennis Reynolds, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (2005-)

VERY mean and RUDE punk robot TEENAGER insults SPIDER-MAN and PRESUMES him to be a CAPITALIST for wearing a GAY ASS TOTE-BAG in PUBLIC. MORE news at SEVEN.

Imagine trusting a man enough to let yourself be the perfect ✨passenger seat princess✨ at least 98% of the time.

Wonder what that’s like…

getting gnc with it out & about at math meetup (or wherever)

I told my mother I'm having a splitting headache and she asked me why I took more time in the washroom in the morning than usual.

Point proved once again.

I'm not telling her anything about my health ever again.

love waking up to my mom giving me an ultimatum and ordering that i have to give up my (admittedly expensive) apartment 1n 2 weeks and move back home for good. i had stuff to do today but i guess being gripped by dread and anxiety works too

the boys' first commentary on keating's lessons being cameron and neil saying 'that was weird' / 'but different' is getting to me like the entire film is a narrative on the suffocation of heavy academia and how it prioritises certain subjects (medicine, law, business, engineering) while condemning creativity and passion and how institutions are promoting conformity and grades-over-wellbeing teaching methods more and more as you both move up the elitism scale and as time goes on, and how that was okay for these kids and like so many generations before them they were going to let it happen to them, but one teacher was different. one single teacher told them to seize the day and make their lives extraordinary and he made them look directly at the state of things, and for a little while it was beautiful but they're just kids; how could they ever change things? and sure enough it catches up to them and the institution wins because it always does and suddenly the suffocating thought of what neil is so sure his life is going to be is so daunting and terrifying that he cant even face it

what ghost haunts you?

the ghost of devotion .

your body was crafted to be loved and to be adored. you write with the touch of a poet, the fingertips of a lover. if you are not loved, you are not whole. you are made to be sculpted by the hands of another into something perfect. without their love, you feel as though you may crumble without the support of purpose their touch provides. when ernest hemingway wrote “it was too good to last.” when ocean vuong wrote, “i miss you more than i remember you.” when david foster wallace wrote, “everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.”

the ghost of the damned .

you rot with the need for something more than what you have. the ghost is built up of the feeling of stagnation. you find it staring at the ceiling with sleep - blurred vision ; this is the third night you have met its eyes in the early hours of the morning. you tear yourself apart looking for comfort, for validation, for acceptance. but it never feels quite enough. you ruin everything you touch, despite every attempt to be more than what you have always been. you would sculpt yourself as something perfect for those around you, but you are no artist. when albert camus wrote, “be silent, heart; there is no hope!” when lucille clifton wrote, “maybe i should’ve wanted less. maybe i should’ve ignored the bowl in me, begging to be filled.” when taylor swift said, “i’m still on that tightrope, i’m still trying everything to get you looking at me.”

tagged by @primordyalsoul ty sumin!!!!

imo there is a very big difference between "this author/artist/etc. promotes their work on their socials" and "this author/artist/etc. is expected to be an influencer".

they are both present on social media but influencer behavior is imo very specific. When i think about this behavior i think about the curation of a big audience prior to and as a requirement to getting a job within an industry, having to post a specific amount of social media/influencer content per contract agreement, using social media as a "brand", always having to be engaged with one's audience, your physical appearance as a brand/aspect of your social media influence, etc. as influencer behavior. Requiring the curation and maintenance of this type of social media engagement is exhausting, and often prohibitive to creatives continuing to make their art.

we talk about not wanting to require authors/artists/other creatives be influencers but you also have to let people, especially people in the indie spheres promote their work without dragging their names through the mud for doing so. most, if not all of them, are not capitalists, shills, or influencers. Many of these are people are just trying to tell you about their art and hoping you'll engage with it/perhaps buy it and that is not a bad thing. it's just as upsetting to them that social media in the current day almost requires one to be constantly engaged and influencing to have their voice heard in the sea of millions.

like as a creative i don't mind existing on social media, i'm on it right now. i just want to be able to use social media as a person and not be required to be constantly engaged to be successful. in the same vein i don't think one should be criticized for promoting their art. I think both these things can live outside the sphere of being an influencer and i don't think that's too much to ask.

I think I'm gonna come out to my family this weekend because frankly I just can't wait anymore and yes this might. irreparably destroy my relationship with my mother but it's ok. I pre-grieved so essentially I'll be unharmed

Bro no joke, forgetting that not everyone hates capitalism and then having to try have a reasonable conversation with someone about buying things... *eye twitch*

Not 2 vent again but I need a binder or some shit soon or I may kill myself I fear

oh noninonononóooo