“Dennis is asshole. Why Charlie hate?”  “Because Dennis is a bastard-man!”

SOME THINGS I LOVE: [4/10] Friendships  Charlie Kelly and Dennis Reynolds, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (2005-)

I've been trying to come up with an answer as to WHY Charlie only started being spontaneously OBSESSED with the Waitress when they were 28. He had known her for like 14 years already (since he says he remembers her from high school) and apparently left her alone that entire time, but suddenly when they’re 28 his feelings for her progress so rapidly he makes up a terminal illness in hopes to get a date with her? And it’s not like he actually got to know her at 28 or anything and fell in love (in Flowers for Charlie and Dennis’ Double Life he DOES spend time with her and literally can’t even stand staying in her company.)

So what if it was because he had Feelings for a waitress who would usually act really hostilely (but was still pretty and could have some good times with him, especially when alone)... Dee. Of course, Charlie could never express those feelings for Dee because he's not brave enough, it would make the Gang dynamic awkward, it was accepted in the Gang that Dee was super gross, the guys would never let him live it down, etc etc etc.

Suddenly, a girl he used to know in high school starts waitressing at a coffee shop he goes to and is also hostile af. He sees some of Dee in her. So instead of being in love with the actual Dee (which would be a messy, awkward, impossible situation) why not be in love with this girl instead? Boom, there's an outlet to freely be the obsessive romantic Charlie is with a girl who’s almost like the girl he’s actually interested in. He’s also completely distracted from his embarrassing interest in Dee and can pretend it doesn’t even exist since he’s started (performatively) being in love with this chick. And while the Gang gives him shit sometimes for being obsessed with the Waitress, they kinda just let it be and it's nowhere near as bad as it would be if he ever actually expressed his feelings for Dee.

Also, there was the bonus that for the longest time Charlie was absolutely safe from ANY chance of actually getting into a Serious relationship with another woman (which I suspect he couldn’t handle) while still performing his romantic little stunts with the illusion of a Cool Mean Waitress Soulmate (and whenever the guys would try to set him up with someone, he could go “ah, but I’ve already got the Waitress!”)

Btw there are certainly hints that Charlie could’ve been interested in Dee in season 1, which is around the time Charlie started being obsessed with the Waitress (remember that in Charlie Has Cancer, Mac says “Charlie's been in love with that girl [the Waitress] for months” - not years. Charlie could still have had some feelings for Dee he was struggling to keep on the down-low because he wasn’t fully consumed with his obsession with the Waitress yet):

In Underage Drinking, Charlie gives Dee his jacket and is later speechless when she comes out in her prom dress. In The Gang Finds a Dead Guy, he tries to quickly clean up his apartment when she visits him so she can sit and stay, prepositions a YEAR of weekly lunches together, and accompanies her to the old folk’s home since she’s terrified. In Charlie Wants an Abortion, he attempts to hug her and says at one point ”you're twisting words here and, like, gettin' cute.” 

attempt at a summary:

when they were ~28, the Waitress started waitressing at the Gang’s local coffee shop. combine her job with her hostility and the Waitress kinda reminded Charlie of Dee, who he actually liked, but couldn’t actually express any romantic feelings for because of various reasons. so, he used the Waitress as a substitute for the blonde waitress he actually kinda had feelings for (Dee). the Waitress didn’t really remind Charlie of Dee back in high school/Charlie’s feelings for Dee didn’t really rise until later, which is why Charlie wasn’t in love with the Waitress beforehand. and maybe Charlie goes crazy obsessive and stuff because it’s kinda a messed up outlet for his feelings in the first place plus his feelings are confused as fuck plus he needs to make it clear he’s in love with THIS girl she’s totally the only girl for me there’s no one else i like haha.

ready when you are.

“It went okay! I mean, it wasn’t great… Plus, our rating is totally trashed on AirBNB. We’re gonna have to set up a different account- you know, for next time.”

Dennis swallows the swig of warm vanilla coffee in his mouth and sets the mug down on the counter. His eyes dart up to focus on Mac, standing on the other side of the kitchen, struggling to work his fingers around the delicate buttons of his denim shirt.

He can’t remember the last time he saw Mac wearing an actual shirt- with actual buttons- but it’s a good look on him. 

Yeah… Mac’s a good-looking guy.

Dennis lets those sorts of thoughts cross his mind now, because the hole in the bottom of his stomach is full. It’s full of the things he’s buried and repressed and denied for the past forty years of his life, and there’s no more room down there. Trying to ignore those feelings about Mac is like stuffing a pile of laundry into an overpacked suitcase, and Dennis is so tired of balling everything up and sitting on top of it and fighting with the zipper. 

He’s not fighting anymore. He’s starting to let go of things he imprisoned a long, long time ago. He starting to set them free.

It doesn’t feel as bad as he thought it would. Sometimes it’s better to look at the monster in the corner of the room dead-on. Sometimes it turns out to just be a shadow- the light playing tricks on you. 

Dennis sees the light now, and it’s not nearly as scary as he expected.

“Next time?” he asks; he doesn’t want there to be a next time.

“Yeah, next time. I’m not giving up on you, dude,” Mac swears as he secures the last button. When his promising eyes glance up at Dennis, they’re so big and brown that he can see his face in them, and he wants to keep seeing himself like that- as a reflection of Mac- but he can only do that if they always stay this close. “You know, you could try a little harder to make people fall in love with you.”

But what if they didn’t try?

What if they stopped searching in all the wrong places? What if they stopped searching at all?

Dennis likes how he looks in Mac’s eyes, and he knows that he doesn’t need to search anymore, because he’s found himself right there and he thinks he could see himself there for the rest of his life.

“I am,” he answers softly. It isn’t a lie.

What if they did give up- not on each other, but on everything else in the world? What if they said fuck it to what people think of them? What if they never even left the apartment again, because everything they need is right here- coffee and red wine and warm blankets and each other’s clothes? What if they wasted the rest of their days playing board games and watching movies and dancing to the radio and getting hammered, until they end up on the floor, soft-touching and slow-kissing and laughing, because nothing so complicated ever seemed so simple?

Suddenly, after twenty-five years, it’s clear to Dennis how ridiculous it is that they’ve done all the hard parts of a relationship without the easy ones.

They’ve fought and fallen apart, moved out and moved back in, cleaned up after each other and taken care of one another. Mac’s kneaded circles into his head when it hurt and rubbed at his back when he threw up into the toilet and carried him to bed when he passed out on the couch. Dennis has washed the blood off of Mac’s hands when he did something reckless and ran his laundry through the drier when he was cold and pulled him back to reality when he woke up in the middle of an anxiety attack.

They’ve seen the worst of each other: the ugliest, most disgusting parts; the parts no one else could possibly love- seen each other bare, vulnerable, weak, raging, and scared- and they’ve stayed.

So why not finally let themselves enjoy the good stuff? Why not kiss and fuck and sleep wrapped around one another? Why not shower together and touch each other’s bare skin and let the water wash away the paper-thin walls between them? Why not do the easy shit if they’ve already fought for it, if they fight for it every day?

After all, Dennis doesn’t think he could do much better than Mac. He doesn’t think he’s ever met anyone better than Mac. He tries to imagine it, what they would look like and the way they would act and how the two of them would fit together, and he can’t.

“-and I don’t know if there’s, like, a box you can check for singles only, but if not, we can just message some people and feel it out, you know-”

“Mac,” Dennis stops him. He hasn’t really been listening, but he understands the sentiment well enough.

Mac’s attention is on him all at once.

There’s something about him nowadays- not his chiseled jaw or his broad shoulders or his washboard abs... Sure, those things certainly don’t hurt, but that’s not what makes him glow.

It’s how gently he’s settled into himself, like he’s getting too old to be uncomfortable with who he is, so he’s stared down all his demons and made peace with them. It’s in the warmth of his eyes and the curve of his lips when he smiles, and there’s something about the way he looks at Dennis that makes him wonder if maybe he could be like that, too- like maybe he’s beautiful in Mac’s eyes.

He doesn’t know why he was so afraid of that before. It’s not such a bad feeling after all.

“Look, just… let it go.” He crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs his shoulders. “Why are you suddenly so obsessed with setting me up, anyways?”

Mac laughs like it’s obvious.

“’Cause I want you to be happy, man.”

Huh.

It’s crazy… but he is.

For the first time in a long time, he is.

Maybe not all the way, not all the time, but he’s content. He’s comfortable. There’s no sense in trying to change a good thing, just because they feel they’re supposed to. They don’t have to concoct schemes in the hopes of finding the perfect domestic picture-frame family. They can keep living like this as long as they want- and maybe it won’t be normal, and maybe society’s not ready for it, but it’ll be Mac and Dennis and nothing else in the entire world sounds better than that.

“Do I seem unhappy?” Dennis prods, trying to keep his voice from getting too defensive. He doesn’t want to turn this into an argument- not when Mac is doing something so selfless, not when he’s trying his best. He doesn’t want to act like that anymore simply because he’s too chicken-shit to be kind and attached and codependent.

“Not, like, all the time, but… Don’t you want to spend your life with someone?”

It’s a stupid question.

He already is. All he’s ever wanted is here.

Dennis stares at Mac for a long time, waiting patiently for a response. He wishes Mac could see right through him; it would make this so much simpler. He wishes Mac would laugh and wink at him and grin and say You want me, don’t you? 

Maybe that wasn’t what he needed before, but it’s what he needs now. He’s finally ready to let himself need it.

“Yes,” is all he whispers back.

For a couple of seconds, nearly gone before Dennis can recognize it, he thinks he sees a wave of clarity glaze over Mac’s eyes like they’re getting the picture. If only his hands and his lips would do the same- but they don’t. He just stands there, balanced against the counter, rolling his teeth over his mouth, standing much too far away.

It’s selfish of Dennis to ask for these things- for Mac to slip his arms around him, to crush his lips against his and kiss him until his lungs buckle, to press him into the wall and tell him he doesn’t need anything else, doesn’t even want it, because they’re a good thing just the way they are. It’s selfish of him, because he so bluntly told Mac not to, and now he’s being all respectful and minding his boundaries and moving on, and Dennis can’t take it anymore.  

He doesn’t want him to move on. He doesn’t want him to move anywhere. He wants him to stay right here where he’s always been- where he belongs.

“Me too,” Mac mumbles in reply.

A fire can only burn quietly for so long before something’s engulfed. A bubble can only hold so much air before it bursts. A barrier can only stand so much weight until it breaks. And they’re about to break, they’re about to burst, they’re about to burn. They can’t go on much longer like this. Eventually, something is going to have to explode.

He thinks Mac wants that, too- at least, he hopes he still does. Dennis doesn’t want him to move on. He can’t move on.

Mac is his best friend, his roommate, his blood brother, his partner in crime, his guy, his everything. Mac is his and he’s Mac’s and they belong to each other. They always have, no matter how difficult it’s gotten and no matter how far they’ve roamed, because you can only run for so long before you come back home to the things you love.

Dennis is home again. And it’s time to stop running.

He bites his lip and takes a step closer, running his fingers along the counter, moving towards Mac more sure of anything than he’s been in his entire life- because fuck it, there’s no fight left in him. His hands are tired of gripping the cliff and he’s ready to fall, and he wants Mac to fall with him.

Mac does, for a moment. He leans forward and ducks his head down and reaches out, and this is happening, this is going to happen, because it hasn’t happened for twenty-five years and Dennis is so fucking tired of waiting.

He’s only just shut his eyes when loud, jarring techno music startles him. He and Mac jump apart like they’ve been caught in the act, and Mac fumbles for his phone to turn the ringer off.

Afterwards, they’re silent, breathing a little harder than normal, still in a daze. No two people in history have ever been so afraid of an alarm.

“I guess we better go,” Mac sighs, pointing his thumb in the direction of the door. 

When he starts to walk away, Dennis reaches out to stop him.

“Wait,” he says as his hand clasps onto Mac’s shoulder. “Just- one more thing.”

Mac turns around and looks at him like he could do anything- like one more thing could mean whatever he wants it to and he’d trust Dennis to make it feel good, to make it feel safe- like he’s never blindly trusted love before but he’d do anything if it was in Dennis’ arms.

He doesn’t take advantage of that.

Instead, he winds gentle fingers around Mac’s neck to adjust the collar of his shirt until it’s straight. He tucks the tag underneath the fabric with his thumb, but doesn’t pull back right away. His hands linger and their bodies stay close together, not touching, but so close.

And there’s this moment… this moment where he swears they both see this for what it is. There’s a moment where the veil is lifted and the expression on Mac’s face is telling him he can be his if he wants to, and that he doesn’t have to keep looking for something he’s already found, something he found when he was young and something he’s always kept, something he’s had close to his heart every day but held too tightly to see it for what it really was all along.

Dennis thinks he’s probably looking at Mac the same way.

But there’s no movie moment- there’s no impassioned kiss or tender embrace or cloying one-liner. That’s not how it is with them. They aren’t the kind of couple you see on a screen. Hell, they aren’t even the kind you see on the street. And they certainly aren’t a romantic comedy.

But they aren’t a tragedy, either. It’s taken Dennis a few years too long to realize that. They aren’t doomed or star-crossed or destined to be apart by some cruel twist of fate. They’re right here, standing at the threshold of their apartment- the apartment where they’ve shared the last two decades of their life and counting, the apartment where they talk for hours and have dinner on the sofa and sleep in the same bed, the apartment where they spend nearly every waking minute together, where everything is softer and easier, where the world’s a safer place, where they’ve lived so much like a couple for so long that it’s impossible to tell they aren’t from the outside.

“You, uh... ready to go?”

They’re so close. There’s just one more step, one last leg of the race, one final twist in the tunnel- and they’re almost at the end. And maybe they are something like a movie, because it feels like there’s going to be a culmination to this story any day now, any minute, because they’ve spent so long with it paused, pretending they could stay there- in that safe space- forever, pretending there wasn’t a finale at all. But there is and it's about time they let it play.

No point in starting a movie without finishing it, right?

And Dennis doesn’t think the ending is going to be as scary as he always pictured. Because this isn’t a horror film. It’s a love story in a lot of ways, and what’s so bad about the possibility of being gazed at like you’re young and beautiful and being wrapped up in strong arms like you’re never going to have to fall alone again and being kissed like some things are more important than breathing?

He wasn’t ready for that before, but he thinks he’s ready now; in fact, he’s sure of it. Because what is his ending, if it isn’t Mac? What was it that he always thought would be so much better than him? Than living like this forever, as long as he’s here?

Women? Casual sex? A bachelor pad where he could be alone for once and only care for himself and do whatever he wanted all the time, where there’d be no one to argue with, to fight with, to fuck it up with over and over and over again?

It sounds pretty goddamn awful.

They’re going to keep messing it up in their own special, shitty, dysfunctional way- and hey, maybe they’re never going to be all smiles and sweetness and perfect chemistry like other couples are.

But maybe that’s okay. Because those people grow out of phases. They change and they get old and suddenly they’re bitter and tired of one another, suddenly they’ve lost something they used to have when they were young.

And Mac and Dennis might be real pieces of shit to each other, but they’ve never lost anything.

It’s been twenty-five years and Dennis is still Mac’s leading man.

And that’s a lot better than most people have.

He just has to wait for Mac to sweep him off his feet. Maybe it won’t be this morning, maybe it won’t be today, maybe it won’t be this week- but it’s going to be soon. Dennis can feel it in the air. He can sense it all around him. It’s here, and it’s warm and promising and forgiving. It feels like the start of the rest of his life. It feels less like the end and more like the first page.

Mac and Dennis are a love story their whole lives in the making, and somehow, this is only the beginning.

And Dennis has a feeling it’s going to be a pretty good story.

He doesn’t say all of that, though, because it isn’t quite time for it. They’re not in the final act just yet.

But they’re right on schedule.

Instead, he pats Mac on the shoulder, and gives him his best leading-man smile.

“Ready when you are.”

S14's theme of Trust: How Global Warming reaffirms the Macden meta we already know

Or, a half reworked set of discussions from my Twitter about the underlying themes of FAITH/TRUST and CHANGE present in this season. Particularly between macden because I don't give a damn for the rest. Sidenote: my twitter thread about trust that takes up half of this post was actually written BEFORE GW came out, and despite that it got reinforced thanks to GW meta.

I apologize in advance if the reading isn't as fluid as it could be, it's hard to order the threads in a single cohesive explanation but I still tried my best. Plus, english isn't my first language.

This post contains speculation that links to my previous meta posts, tagged under "iasip meta". That's where I discuss the theme of change more in detail, not here. They're a little outdated in terms of episode prediction but the meta analysis in them holds up and was reinforced in GW.

The bible = Trust/Faith

So, how does faith/trust get in the way of their relationship? Who has it, who doesn't?

Let's address it. This might be long but bear with me I guess. First we need to address what broke their trust.

North Dakota

(aka the element that broke the link of trust between macden for good, from which they are still trying to recover; and how we got there; their shift in dynamic because of it and how it's a vicious cycle that feeds itself until a breaking point, with no possibility for rational discussion. "How Mac will reject Dennis as a final test to restore their trust")

Part 1: how it affected Dennis

It is my understanding that dennis has been left profoundly scarred by how his decision to leave to north dakota went and he has been blaming the gang for failing to stop him from leaving, and especially blaming Mac. Which lead to the events in Chokes.

Where he felt frustrated at Mac for doing everything Dennis says and never going against him. He's constantly pushing him and being abrasive because he wishes for him to snap and act on his own volition.

Because aside from feeling like he can't trust anyone, and like no one in the gang cares for him, he most of all feels like he can't trust himself. He has been scarred by the consequences of his own actions, and doesn't know what else he might do that could have a similar effect.

Of course a person who can't really trust himself would feel paralyzed, they would not act or do anything. Which is why we are moving away from that, slowly. We need to have this progression in order for Dennis to Realize anything at all.

So Chokes as an episode is sort of a milestone, it runs really deep in multiple overarching events and developments. It's not just fixing macden's dynamic, it's beginning to fix a core problem that stops dennis from reaching macden and that has been prominent at least ever since Tends Bar.

It's something that has been going on in the background for a while, that is touched upon sometimes. Dennis desperately wants the gang to care about him.

So when he is surprised by the RPG on the day that for him is most emblematic of the gang not caring, I think it hit deeper than what we're assuming. His feelings were challenged.

DDL is a result of many things. On the surface it's him wanting to be a dad for his child the way Frank never could for him. I think it was also a test though. If they truly cared, they would stop him. They wouldn't want him to go away.

Now. They don't. That stings. Then things possibly go south in North Dakota. That also stings. It's easy to mentally connect the two and realize the hurt he's experiencing. "If they had stopped me, none of this would've happened" I assume is the correlation he made mentally.

So then he probably thought about Mac, and the gesture he made. He thought that meant something, but then him, like the rest of the gang, did nothing. So he's even more angry at him. "For a moment I really thought he cared, why wouldn't he do something?" Betrayal.

So that to me explains why he's been acting like shit towards Mac. And he's been slowly trying to work through his feelings on the matter, as S13 sorta showed initially, with him not wanting to address it at all for a while, and when he tried again no one cared. He's been trying.

I wonder if it's a possibility that, as we reach the resolution to this circumstance, he will try to bring it up again. I wouldn't count on it necessarily, but character wise it would simply make sense. If he's getting over the problem, he's leaving ND behind. He should, I mean.

Part 2: how it affected Mac

But this isn't just a circumstance that hinders Dennis, it has deeply afflicted Mac too, in a way that is just as personal. "No matter what I do for a person, they can still choose to leave me", it is no wonder to see that side of him exacerbated, then.

Before ND, Mac trusted Dennis' words, enough to let him leave if he said he wanted to, even if it hurt. Before ND, Dennis trusted that Mac would always "be there to catch him if he faltered", that he cared, especially after the RPG moment.

These were true. They could always count on each other, trust each other. ND changed everything, and altered their dynamic in a way that we are still feeling, and still trying to remedy. That Mac and Den especially are still desperately trying to remedy.

They /want/ to go back to their codependent dynamic, they /need/ to. But the way they are desperately trying to is only making things worse and worse, and it's a terrible cycle.

[ The more Dennis rejects Mac in hope that Mac will finally go against him, the more Mac is desperately trying to appease Dennis so that he won't leave him, the more Dennis is annoyed and dissatisfied of Mac's submissive behavior and becomes more abrasive in return. ]

Which is why I think discussing that event is a necessity in order for macden to even happen at all. They theoretically need a face to face conversation to resolve these core insecurities that are getting in the way of their friendship (and possibly more).

It doesn't have to be a romantic thing either, it is just necessary for this conflict to be addressed in order for their dynamic to go back to normal. But that can't happen without a breaking point. We know them enough to assume that they're not gonna just discuss it rationally. It would be the correct way to handle the situation, but they're not like that.

Whether everything resolves positively (as in, their dynamic finally shifting back to before ND) depends on how much they want to stay together and what they are willing to sacrifice or compromise for it. Whether certain grievances can be stronger than their bond itself (and I'm pretty sure they can't, or mac and den would've parted already, long ago).

Mac's internal conflict is likely what will make it so that we have to wait a year. If it just isn't resolved, then he would want proof that Dennis isn't /just saying/ stuff. Den might assure him that he isn't but is that enough for Mac?

How do you resolve a conflict that is basically just a huge almost debilitating fear of abandonment and mistrust of the other person's words? In what way can you possibly prove it wrong?

We know Mac loves Dennis, of course he does. But does he trust Dennis? The way he has been behaving towards him tells me otherwise. He doesn't stand up to him.

Not only that but, more specifically, he's always "interpreting" everything Dennis says, you can see it in Texts for example. He knows den never means what he says, and always has an ulterior motive or hidden meaning. He doesn't take den's rejections at heart too much because he knows they're fake.

So now imagine Dennis has a change of heart. Now he goes to Mac, and he tells him Exactly How He Truly Feels. Knowing the way Mac is used to interpreting Dennis, I don't think he'd believe him. He'd want to, but he probably couldn't.

And I don't think Mac even realizes this lack of trust at all. I think it's gonna hit him exactly as it's happening. He might feel happy at first, then be confused at his sense of uneasiness like he's been used and lied to, like Dennis is saying it to manipulate him.

But that's just for words. Physically speaking, I think Mac is very much aware that Dennis has no intention of ever leaving again, nor can he really. That's how it seemed to be in tggr at least.

The abandonment Mac is afraid of is purely emotional at this point with Dennis. It doesn't need to be a "what if he moves out". More of a "what if he doesn't like me anymore and is using me".

So anyway, about the cycle I mentioned earlier.

This feels like a build up. They can't go on like this forever, they will reach a breaking point. I don't expect them to have an honest and open and calm confrontation and solve their differences before a huge snap of both of them happens, I expect the snap.

You know, either Dennis gets too abrasive and Mac finally "snaps out of him", or Mac gets too submissive and Dennis grows tired of him.

However thanks to Chokes and now Global Warming, we can safely predict it'll be the first one. Chokes set us on a path of Mac making his own decisions, which thanks to GW we know will backfire.

They'll fight, Dennis will be overwhelmed by it as Mac ""leaves"", more on that later, first let me finish my discussion on trust.

I find it suspicious how all the episodes with a semblance of resolution that we have had so far only seemed to fix Dennis' conflicts with Macden. We have failed to address Mac's lack of trust in Dennis' words, even in Texts I think. Especially in Texts.

In Texts it wasn't communication that solved the problem, it was an act, a stare. And we only ever heard Dennis' side of it. Mac at this point already believes that Dennis likes him, so there was nothing new for him to discover at the end.

If anything, it reinforced his belief that Dennis says the opposite of what he thinks, that he isn't honest. Because despite how he's been acting all day, he still saw affection in his eyes, I assume.

But Mac has already always paid attention to what Dennis "really meant", I mean, he does it throughout Texts, thought in the wrong way because it was still through text (miscommunication) and he didn't like to consider the alternative.

I put "really meant" in quotations because Dennis doesn't really work like that. Sure a lot of times Dennis doesn't say what he really means so of course Mac would start interpreting him like that, but there are still many times when he's actually honest. This is just Mac's black and white way of seeing den.

Anyway.

As a result of not feeling heard, Dennis actually developed a heavier and more frequent use of sarcasm. Because if people won't do what he says, then maybe if he says the opposite they'll listen to him. It's a reflex born out of frustration.

Back to the "trust" thing now, because see, all this time Dennis has been acting under the underlying assumption that Mac will choose Him every time. Mac doesn't have this assumption, he has been acting to Prevent Dennis from NOT choosing him.

It's gonna be really interesting, if this turns out to be correct, to see the tables be turned and find out that Dennis was the one with faith. We are used to see Mac believe have it, in god and in their relationship, but ultimately it's Dennis that is trusting Mac to make the right decisions. Which includes choosing Dennis every time.

That's a bigass trust to have for someone who says they have no faith. In contrast to that, what faith has Mac put in Dennis? None that I can think of, he actively does stuff that will please dennis, so far.

"leaving"/"rejecting" Dennis in the finale would constitute, again, Mac's faith in Dennis. He would be choosing something that goes right against everything Dennis wants, having faith that this won't mean they grow apart, and maybe even trusting that it's what Dennis actually needs. And it's what Mac would need as well, as proof that Dennis is serious. Because if he doesn't change his mind, then he is. And you can finally see how the whole season has been constructed as a way to move away from the ND conflict in order to fix their dynamic and broken trust in order to make macdennis work.

This calls back to my meta reading for the first half of the season. Again. This is old stuff. But still accurate.

Some snippets.

I now have a more detailed speculation on how Jumper will go which is no longer the one I had in that meta post, but I will spare you the useless talk and get back to my point. Maybe save that for another post. All I need to say here is that Dennis will be adamant that the answer is SHOULD WE: NO, Mac will want to prove him wrong but Dennis will be proven right, subsequently starting the path for Mac's change of outlook. And what will make him say "no"(t yet) even once Dennis believes they should. Boom, karma.

ANYWAY.

Dennis knows he can depend on Mac or at least he's learning so, Mac isn't sure if he can do the same.

As the two bicker over who had trust in who, and who broke the other's trust, it'll come to the surface, through text, that the roles have shifted. Dennis was trusting Mac all along, Mac wasn't.

Which is why Mac deciding for himself, deciding something that goes against Dennis, saying "no", is the biggest leap of faith Mac can take, the thing that would show us that yes, finally, Mac believes Dennis will still choose him.

TGGR's final part of macden's plot itself shows us Mac accepting Dennis' cynical point of view and losing faith. "I guess we're not gonna get that romantic comedy ending after all". But that is not the note the episode ends with.

Right as Mac accepts that it's not happening, we see Charlie and Frank's ending part of their plot. They're reaching back, they have a new realization. Nikki says that they feel the same way, but they still say no for the time being.

How does this all link to Global Warming, finally?

The Global Warming meta

The jump, the realization, the acceptance, in all the meta I have analyzed in the episodes, it all comes AFTER the explosion, the rejection. First things explode and Mac "leaves", THEN Dennis is overwhelmed and changes his mind, reevaluates. Think of the Nikki&Alexi and Charlie&Frank plot as a frame of reference for this. Think of Chokes also, first Mac says "No", then Dennis is satisfied.

NOW, Global Warming macdennis meta, at its most basic, goes as follows:

Dennis thought what he liked was the sexy girls dancing, then they revolted against him and literally overpowered him, and in the aftermath he has a new outlook on the japanese guys that he once disliked. At the same time as this happens, Mac isn't there to help him.

At the same time, we always see Dennis trying to rationalize his way out of conflicts, and it never working, not with Mac, not with the people in the bar.

Basically, we reach a breaking point in the conflict, and Dennis is overwhelmed by it, Mac doesn't help him in GW, he "leaves", I imagine this symbolizing that Mac finally agreeing with Dennis in the actual final conflict would feel to Den like Mac is "giving up on them". Dennis took Mac choosing him for granted, and he now learns how much trust he had in Mac despite saying otherwise (Chokes) and how much it meant to him. Dennis comes out of it changed.

They both do.

This, as I posted about previously, is all part of "God's plan". Dennis gave Mac back his "free will" in Chokes so that Mac's harsh final decisions could ultimately aid their relationship and trust.

We need Mac to turn Dennis down for the time being AND for Dennis to not change his mind during the wait, for the trust to be restored for both of them. To remedy North Dakota once and for all, and move into the macdennis territory. In a year, aka next season.

So finally, we can see how TGGR, Chokes, Texts and now GW all work together as milestones that set us in that direction.

Bottom of a Swimming Pool

ch 2; You Remind Me of Home

— A/N —

general tw + tw for m*lestation mention!! heavily implicated, with no direct details. be careful <3

— END OF A/N —

— Childhood Flashbacks: Age 13 —

When Charlie was 13, his mom was running out of money quickly. She wasn’t making enough from the men who would come visit their house every week and she just needed help paying the rent for a little bit. Because of this, Bonnie let her brother, Jack, rent out the guest bedroom in her house. Uncle Jack made Charlie uncomfortable and he found himself unable to sleep most nights, because he never knew if Jack was going to come to his room. Some nights Jack did, and those were the worst of all. Charlie tried telling his mom, but Bonnie didn’t listen, so Charlie was stuck.

Charlie didn’t know how to talk to Mac about it. He knew they were best friends and would help each other through everything, but he didn’t know how he was going to say the horrible things he had been through. All he told Mac was that he couldn’t handle sleeping at his house anymore and Mac immediately made an important decision.

“Mom, my friend Charlie is gonna start spending the night a lot. Is that okay?” Mac asked his mom one morning before school, even though she was drunk and probably wouldn’t even remember the conversation.

“I don’t give a shit,” Mrs. Mac mumbled, groaning. Mac took that as a yes and told Charlie the very same day that he could pack up some clothes, bring a toothbrush, and stay at his house as long as he wanted.

“Thanks, man. I just.. I don’t want to go home anymore. I can’t.” Charlie was tearing up, which automatically rubbed Mac the wrong way. He knew something was wrong at Charlie’s house, but he just couldn’t get Charlie to tell him what. He knew not to push the boy anymore and just accepted that he didn’t fully understand what was happening.

The next day, Charlie spent the night at Mac’s house. He stayed there for a week at a time typically, then spent a night at his own house so his mom didn’t get worried. This cycle repeated for a long time. The only downside to it was Charlie’s nightmares.

It took awhile for Mac to get used to the screaming, whimpering, and crying Charlie did during his sleep. Charlie would sob, wake Mac up yelling, and scream for hours sometimes. Mac didn’t know how to make it stop, but one morning he finally told Charlie about it waking him up some nights.

When Mac was making breakfast for the two of them, Charlie walked in and sat down. “Hey buddy. Can we talk?” Mac asked, which immediately made Charlie’s blood run cold. He was used to losing people in his life or being hurt by those he loved, but he never wanted Mac to be one of those people.

“Sure, did I do something?” Charlie stammered out, riddled with anxiety already.

“No, not at all. You’re good, bro. I just wanted to talk to you about your nightmares.” Mac explained. Somehow, that made Charlie even more anxious. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell Mac what his uncle had done to him for many nights, but maybe it was time.

He started to reply to Mac, but Mac continued on. “You don’t have to tell me everything about them and what happens in them. You don’t even have to tell me why they happen. It’s okay, I understand how tough things can be. I just wanted to tell you that when you have them, if they wake you up and you can’t go back to sleep or feel scared and upset, wake me up. Please.”

Charlie didn’t really know what to say to that. Nobody had ever cared for him the way Mac cared for him, so this was uncharted territory for him. Instead of saying anything back, he just nodded his head. Mac knew what that meant from him, so he dropped the subject. They ate their breakfast, got ready for school, and got on the bus. Charlie prepared himself for the mean comments about his lack of self hygiene while Mac prepared himself to fight the kids being rude to his best friend. Just like every day.

All they ever needed was each other. Mac protected Charlie, Charlie protected Mac. They were the only people that mattered.

A few weeks after they had that conversation, Mac woke up by being shaken vigorously. Charlie was crying, more than Mac had ever seen. He was panting, like he couldn’t catch his breath, and Mac immediately jumped to protection mode.

“Charlie? Charlie, buddy. You’re okay. What’s wrong? What happened?” Mac rushed out, and Charlie tried to stop sobbing, tried being the key term. He just kept crying and shaking. Mac went to hug Charlie and hold him, and the boy backed away quickly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Mac said softly, but Charlie shut him up by moving in closer.

“I need a hug. A Mac hug. That’s all.” Charlie sniffled. It was hard for him to accept physical affection, but he knew he could trust his best friend.

Mac didn’t even reply. He just wrapped his arms around Charlie and held tightly. Something was different about this hug. Something was softer about Charlie, warmer about Mac.

Mac moved his arms a little bit and laid back, letting Charlie relax and lay on him. One of Mac’s hands found its way in Charlie’s hair and played with it softly. It was weird. Mac thought Charlie’s hair would be oily and tough, but it was the exact opposite.

They laid like that for a little bit, until Charlie began to talk. “Can I tell you something? I think I’m ready to talk about it.” The boy asked Mac, to which Mac nodded his head softly.

Charlie spent the rest of the night recounting everything that had happened to him in his bedroom when his mom went to bed. Mac didn’t judge him and he didn’t accuse him of lying. He just sat there and listened, despite the fact that his blood was boiling at the idea of somebody hurting Charlie.

All Mac wanted to do was protect his favorite person in the whole world, and he hadn’t been doing that, but he was now, by not letting Charlie go home anymore. Charlie was safe. Mac was going to protect him and keep him safe from Jack, forever and always.

— End of Flashback: 29 Years Later —

Charlie woke up from a really terrible nightmare. He didn’t have them often anymore, but sometimes he couldn’t help but dream of things that had happened to him when he was younger. He knew he was safe from everything now, but God, sometimes the dreams were so realistic. Normally, he could pick one thing in the nightmares that was completely fake and different from real life, so he could separate himself from it entirely. The nightmare he had just had, though, was completely true to real life.

It had been a long time since he had had to call Mac about a nightmare, but this one was something he just couldn’t handle by himself. Of course, Mac answered the phone and immediately offered to use Dennis’s car to come pick him up, so they could hang out.

Less than half an hour later, Mac was at Charlie’s apartment. As soon as Charlie walked out his apartment and locked the door shut behind him, Mac engulfed him in a massive hug. Charlie’s body was tiny compared to Mac’s, so when they hugged, it made Charlie giggle a little, which Mac adored.

Neither of them really spoke about how they felt when they were together, because there was no need anymore. They both knew the truth about what was going on between them, but neither of them ever mentioned it.

Mac had finally come out and began to accept himself as gay, whereas Charlie had always known he liked men and women. It was hard for Charlie to be with either, especially sexually, because of his being transgender, but with Mac, it was different.

Mac drove them back to his apartment and they went into his room, laying down, finally able to relax. Charlie cuddled up against Mac, Mac’s arms wrapped around his waist.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, I’m tired of thinking about it. I just want to lie here with you.” Charlie responded, turning his body around to face Mac. He slowly moved his hand to Mac’s hair, kissing him on the forehead.

It had taken Mac awhile to be okay with kissing when they were sober. They still hadn’t gone any further than cuddling and kissing sometimes, but sometimes Mac thought about it. He knew he wanted Charlie, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready, especially to do anything while sober. Mac knew he was gay, he had known that his whole life, but it was taking longer for him to actually act on it.

Charlie understood that, of course. If anybody understood not being ready for romantic and physical affection, it was him. Neither of them pushed one another, and that was sort of what made it perfect. Regardless, they enjoyed their time together.

Mac held onto Charlie and kissed him softly, mumbling something under his breath.

“What was that?” Charlie asked.

“Nothin’. Mind your business.” Mac replied, smiling at his best friend. Charlie knew what Mac had said, but neither of them were willing to admit how they felt. “I love you” was too real to be said yet, and both of them understood that. The feeling was mutual, though. It had taken years for them to realize it fully, but they knew now.

They fell asleep like that, in each other’s arms. When Mac woke up, he made sure to be careful and not wake Charlie up. He went into the living room, where Dennis was already awake, watching TV.

“You guys need to stop fucking at our apartment,” Dennis chuckled, knowing it would piss Mac off. Mac hated how Dennis joked about their lives, but he couldn’t tell him that. He had gotten used to Dennis’s gross comments, but sometimes, it made him angry for Charlie.

He didn’t appreciate people mentioning sex about Charlie. It rubbed him the wrong way, but instead of getting mad, he just went and made breakfast.

Sometimes, Mac just wished Dennis would stop. Dennis seemed jealous of Charlie, almost, which made no sense to Mac. Because of his past with Den, he didn’t think he was even into him, but maybe that wasn’t true. Mac didn’t know. Maybe he just didn’t want to know.

He hated what he had done to Charlie in the past when it came to Dennis, so he didn’t think he even cared about what Den thought now. He just wanted to be happy with Charlie. That was all he really wanted from the world now. Dennis had messed up his relationship with Charlie in the past, but he’d never allow that to happen again.

Charlie had woken up and smiled at Mac who was busy making pancakes. Mac wasn’t the best cook, so many of the pancakes ended up burnt and in the trash, but Charlie enjoyed the thought that went into it. They ate their breakfast, then got ready for work.

Charlie kissed Mac one last time before they left the apartment, knowing they couldn’t do it again until they had left Paddy’s that night. Dennis might have made jokes about Charlie and Mac being together, but the two of them still hadn’t confirmed it to the gang. They didn't know how to fully tell the other three.

Of course, they all knew, just based off the longing looks that passed between Charlie and Mac at Paddy’s and when the gang worked on their numerous schemes, but the couple was afraid to fully come out and just say it. That would take awhile for them to admit, and it was tougher than they thought it would be.

Charlie hated having to hide it. He felt inadequate, but he knew it was a senseless fear of abandonment and betrayal that stemmed from his past that made him overthink it.

He never told Mac how it made him feel, because he didn’t want to push the love of his life away. He just glanced at Mac throughout the day, a glimmer of hope and absolute adoration in his eye. Then, when they were alone, they’d kiss and cuddle for hours on end, or until they had to be around others again. Maybe one day, they could be open about their relationship.

Charlie just stayed by Mac’s side and waited for that day to come. He would wait forever if he needed to, because Charlie knew what he wanted forever. All he wanted was Mac. It had always been Mac.

After all the meta ive been reading its clear to me that Dennis is gay/bi and even without reading meta you can just tell Mac is in love with Dennis.... but like.... what are your thoughts on times up where Dennis tells him flat out that its not gonna happen? Is he lying to himself or is it that he really doesn't want it to happen even if he does come out?? Like does he actually hate mac?? What about in mac day where he said mac is ruining his life?? Sorry about this im just going crazy lmao

tbh i have no idea about times up at all, dennis def used to be in love with mac but i honestly couldn’t say if he still is or not. as for mac “ruining his life” i think its interesting that dennis considers mac’s denial something that affects him, way more than the rest of the gang seems to…..the rest of the gang finds mac’s constant denial/anti-gay monologues/moments where he can’t help himself and the gay jumps out annoying, insofar as they want him to shut the fuck up, but dennis is the only one who it really especially grates on in a way that seems a hell of a lot more personal. plus now that he’s really on the precipice of coming out himself, theres definitely a bunch of factors of being exes/mac being clearly willing to jump into smthg with him/his own fear and repression making him lash out

some interesting things i haven’t really untangled for myself yet: dennis is the only one mac’s willing to date before he fully reconciles his gayness with his catholicism, he doesn’t love himself enough before mfhp and there’s potential friction in that dennis also doesn’t love himself & probably doesn’t want to be the one tasked with “fixing” mac through that deeply personal process. dennis might also worry that he’s just a safe stepping stone for mac, & that after mac figures his shit out, he won’t feel the same way anymore because he was only with dennis because theyre equally fucked up & once he solves some of his biggest issues then he won’t want someone quite as damaged (obviously untrue, but again, dennis is deeply insecure)

also: dennis might be annoyed that mac isn’t openly annoyed with him for leaving – they never fought about it, and i could see him worrying that mac is idealizing him/only in it for the sexual attraction aspect and worrying that mac doesn’t actually care enough about him to want all of him if he isn’t willing to deal with dennis leaving then coming back, or worrying that he doesnt wanna jump into an endgame with mac before they untangle their gordian knot of issues b/t them because it’s a relationship dennis deeply relies on/probably cherishes and isn’t something he wants put through the ringer of these issues coming up later on and maybe breaking them up (again), i think he knows he couldn’t handle that again, esp where they are now at this very precarious time in their relationship.

dennis also at the point in his life of being closeted where he’s right on the edge of not being able to deny it anymore, so he’s shoving himself back in as deeply as he possibly can in a panic, and mac acting like this w/ him sucks for dennis because it’s exactly like how they used to be before everything went awry post-s5 and he doesn’t need the reminder that they used to be together like that–even if you don’t think they were hooking up back then, it’s been retconned in that that was all explicitly romantic on mac’s part, making dennis deal with the fact that reciprocating back then was explicitly romantic for him too (even if he wouldn’t/won’t admit it)

AND. on top of that, regardless of whether dennis hates him or loves him or wants to be with him in the end or doesn’t, nothing changes the fact that mac’s been crossing a boundary that dennis has made it clear he doesn’t want crossed, for whatever reason. and dennis is, on top of everything else, a rape victim. having all of that trauma mixed in with the mess of things b/t them……is very obviously awful on mac’s part, and this undealt-with trauma isn’t helping anything. but again i haven’t quite untangled all of time’s up yet (like ive said, i’m always thinking about it which means there’s always more to go)

kinda ramble-y fic below the cut, rougly 1.9k words, includes a metric fuck-ton of angst, macdennis, teen au, drinking, and a Lot of implied abuse/trauma

summary: mac’s a rebellious 14 year old tht hates the rich, dennis is a dick tht really just needs an outlet to share his feelings, they’re sad together

     Mac and Charlie were growing more reckless by the day. Nearly every night they'd sneak out of their houses together, fueled by the yearning for a better life. But their late night adventures quickly blossomed into a blur of adrenaline and laughter - as they'd show up at random parties someone down the street was throwing. They'd show up undetected at the peak of the utter chaos that is teen rebellion, take a shitload of booze, and then ditch just as fast. They'd go by the train tracks after and get wasted together, drowning out the deafening reality that is their parents don't care enough to notice they're not at home every night & that life isn’t going so well. And for once, they can be happy in each other's company and have a taste of a childhood they deserved, even if they can only find it at the bottom of a bottle.

     One night Mac goes off by himself, probably because Charlie just hasn't been as up to going out. Mac has no clue why, the only things Charlie’s been sputtering about between drinks every night is his ‘son of a bitch of an uncle’ who moved back in recently. Mac doesn't understand and Charlie won't give him what he needs to understand it. So Mac gives it no second thought. He spots an absolutely huge house in the suburbs and his breath is swept away in awe. He's never seen something with architecture like this and he'll sure as hell never understand how someone can afford so much room, or what it's even used for. The yard is donned with blacked out kids he knows from his classes, and the inside of the house is filled with the melody of drunk kids slurring and laughing to party songs.

     He decides this is it-this is the one place he'll allow himself to go without his best friend. And he'll definitely save booze for him. And he won't allow himself to feel guilty for it, he never does anything for himself anyways. He strides in with a nonchalant facade and his best ‘yes-I-definitely-belong-here’ smile from cheek to cheek, waving at classmates that never noticed him before and definitely won't now. Which is the only advantage that comes from being the rat, one of the sore losers in the bullshit hierarchy that is high school popularity. Nobody will notice when you're taking something right in front of them.

     He makes it to the kitchen and finally pieces together who lives here - it's the piece of shit he has half his classes with, the word snob as a person, someone he can't help but loathe for his gross elitism. It's Dennis Reynolds. Some kid that's really full of himself, someone who helped trademark ‘The Rat’ and laughs at Mac while he's down. He didn't really mind, it's not like he was bullying Charlie, and he was strong enough to take the half-assed insults this guy threw at him. It wasn’t a big deal.

     But here, now - he found Dennis in the midst of his own party, alone in the kitchen, half-empty bottle of tequila in tow, and what looked like mascara trailing from his eyes. 'What a pussy,' is what he was about to say, but something stopped him. Dennis looked at the other boy looming over him and flinched, covering his face instantly. Mac was confused, what the hell was he doing that for? When Dennis realized he was fine, he instantly tried to revert back to his Cool Guy defense mode. Something compelled Mac to crouch down next to him because, well geez, the poor kid was a mess.. and he felt like it humanized him. The urge to steal his things for a taste of a life he never had slowly died down as he said hello to the gracious party host himself. 'Why-are-you-here's  were spit out in half-spoken slurs instantly, because Dennis didn’t remember inviting some dirty street rat to his party. Mac gave a really half-assed excuse, which was all he needed to convince Dennis he was supposed to be here, considering all his thoughts were mush from how out of it he was - he never had the opportunity to drink this much on account of his sister beating him to it, or his mom emptying everything after heated arguments with his dad. And although it annoyed him when she was drunk, it was better than falling asleep to the melody of fighting and the threat of an impending divorce.

     But anyways, now Mac is lost in his eyes and they’re both half a bottle of tequila down, and he isn't sure if he's holding his hand or just dreaming it. And oh God, his eyes are so beautiful, and his lips are coated with strawberry chapstick and he wants to kiss them so bad. He wants to keep holding his hand for all of eternity, but at the same time he wants to cup his soft face in his hands and, wow, he wants to kiss his dimples so bad and to taste the strawberry chapstick and God, he's infatuated. He wants to wipe his tears away and to kiss his rosy cheeks and run his hands through his hair, so bad. And it hits him that he's too deep, what would Charlie think of this? Falling for the enemy? Fuck. But that doesn't matter because all that matters now is the fact he's really hand in hand with someone hes fallen in love with, and all it took was talk of trauma and a bottle of tequila.

     They're no longer on the kitchen floor as they're giggling hand in hand stumbling up the stairs, leaning on each other and shushing one another as they laugh too hard to smile right and their cheeks are flush and they aren't sure if it's the drinking or their company. They're trying to be quiet as they close the door to the twin's room and Dennis tries to lock it with a shaky hand. Mac watches him in utter jaw-dropping awe, feeling butterflies fill his stomach and suffocating any insecurity he'd ever felt before. This was new to him. But Dennis felt it even stronger. He'd spent so long building up a wall, he'd spent so long listening to his mother's vodka-fueled lectures about never letting yourself fall in love. Barbara made him promise he'd never do that to himself, 'It hurts too much,' she told him. But now he was sitting on the top bunk of his bed with what seemed to be the boy of his dreams, he didn't know he could ever feel this way or honestly feel anything at all, and he was too drunk to feel guilty for it.

     Hours pass and now Mac is laying on his bare chest. Dennis has his hands intertwined in his hair, and he's taken away by how soft it is when he strokes it. Mac's never felt a wave of clarity envelop him so softly before. He's at peace. The droning hum of party music is drowned out by the wave of happiness he's feeling. All he can hear is the soft rhythm of their hearts and their cautious breathing, both scared that this still might not be real. Mac's heart flutters when he realizes Dennis’ breathing gets faster as he moves his hand across his chest, and he looks up with half-slit puppy dog eyes that Dennis is absolutely in love with. Mac opens his mouth to speak, but changes his mind. He doesn't wanna jinx it, he's so scared he wont be able to impress Cool Kid Dennis Reynolds, and he doesn't wanna do anything to change this moment. He plays it safe. As he snuggles closer, Dennis holds him and Mac's face is the warmest it's ever been, and he buries it in the other boys chest. He doesn't know how to react to this, he's never known how to react to anything, but especially nothing like this. His face is even warmer than Mac's and he's trying so hard to not let him know that he likes him, because that’s something Barbara and Frank would be ashamed of. Mac falls asleep on his chest, and Dennis can't stop playing with his hair.

     It's only a couple of hours later when Dennis wakes him up, because he knows everything would be compromised if anyone found them together, especially his sister. God knows what she would do. And Dennis tries to tell him he should leave, but the words choke him too much to come out when he sees Mac's adorable face glance up at him. And he's just too shy to say a word.

     The next thing they know, Dennis pulls him closer and they're both kissing for the first time, and Mac feels wrong. He wants to push him away, and he knows he should feel absolutely horrible. He knows God would be disappointed in something like this, and he's terrified of the consequences. But he pushes the thoughts away and succumbs to the warmth that hugs his body. Dennis is holding him so gently and neither want to ever move again, and something compels them to stay together. The kiss is only broken by Dennis’ nervous laughter, and a smile that he can't hide. When the boys recollect themselves they start kissing again. They never went further than that, partially because they couldn't get it up this drunk and partially because they were too scared to ruin it, but it was still nice to fall asleep side by side, even if they didn't mean to.

     Mac wakes up to the soft golden smile of the sun's rays against the bed, and he vaguely remembers last night. Panic sets in and eats him alive like it never has before. He's never stayed somewhere else this late before. What if Charlie’s looking for him? What if whoever he's with didn't lock the door and someone saw him? And then he remembers who he's with, and he's terrified. What the hell did he do? He feels tears of shame well up because he knows hes a sinner in God's eyes, and he's made the biggest mistake of his life, and oh fuck when he tried to get out from under the covers he woke Dennis up. He isn't even half as shocked as Mac is, he's calm. He's happy. He's never woke up so peacefully before, and he's grinning. He tries to tell Mac good morning but he's rambling under his breath about how wrong this is and he's going to Hell, and Dennis takes that as a sign he should've taken his mother's advice. He's utterly crushed.

     Mac doesn't even apologize as he leaves, he slips on his boots and gets out as soon as he can, despite the wavering tone in Dennis’ protests and pleads to stay. He leaves Dennis confused and more scared of opening up than he's ever been, and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings anymore. Mac tries to forget everything. He never tells Charlie. He doesn't ever want to look Dennis in the eyes again. He never wants to feel that way again, because he went from feeling on top of the world to being ashamed, and thinking he knows it's wrong. He doesn't tell anyone.

I was tagged by the wonderful @woollenpharaohs to list my 10 favorite ships. I still can't belive people actually know I exist on this site. Seriously. Thanks so much for tagging me!

Now this is gonna be quite hard because I just have way too many ships to function, but I'm gonna try anyway. The order won't actually mean anything really since I'm the kind of person to jump from ship to ship.

(this is actually my second try doing this since my computer crashed in the middle of doing this. Thanks a bunch computer)

1.Dean Winchester/Castiel-Supernatural

Do you wanna have your heart broken and ripped to shreds? Then buckle up because I have the right ship for you!

These two have ruined me. Just like the show this ship is of great emotional value to me and I love it dearly. At this point the show is basically the most painful slow burn fic in the disguise of a TV show and I honestly can't complain. Each hug is fuel for my soul and gets me through another day.

2. Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham-Hannibal

Tbh this ship actually shares the first place with Destiel because I discovered them both at the same time where I didn't feel great at all and they both helped me through really tough times.

When it comes to Hannigram I'll always remember that one post that said that Hannibal lives in his own wonderland amongst pigs, who'll never be able to understand him and his wonderland, until he stumbles upon Will who sees and understands.

And in the end we are all just searching for someone who understands us, aren't we?

Beautifully dark relationship that tugs on your heartstrings more than it should.

3. Alana Bloom/Margot Verger-Hannibal

What would the murder husbands be without their counterpart murder wives?

Two beautiful women that kill their abuser via drowning and leave him to be eaten by his giant pet moray eel. Who then get married and have a beautiful son together. Bryan Fuller I truly thank you for this gift, for those beautiful ladies brighten my shadowy days.

4. Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy-Supernatural

Even though I've always been a huge sucker for Sam/Gabriel, these two took me over by storm. They've had such great chemistry and I instantly fell in love with the idea of them being together since she's been first introduced. Such a shame the writers don't like their own characters to have an ounce of happiness. Hello denial thanks for showing me all those fix it fics.

5.Trevor Philips/Michael De Santa-GTA V

(not really a lot of gifs to use for that one)

Oh boy... Complete dumpster fire of a ship and guilty pleasure. I've actually shipshamed myself so long for this. But after playing the game multiple times, you just can't help but realize, that this ship sails itself.

Sometimes I wonder how I went from shipping girly anime looking guys to ship whatever these men are.

But this ship has some real emotional baggage and when you look behind the kinda disgusting surface, you see a relationship more flawed and real than most fanfiction offers. And oh man has this ship some really great fics!

6.Geralt of Rivia/Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy- The Witcher 3

I present to you: my current obsession

Even though my only knowledge of their relationship comes from the Blood and Wine DLC (because I've bought the books just now so I haven't read them) I still fell hard for this. Very hard.

A higher vampire killing his own blood brother, a bond much stronger than a human could ever imagine, to save his dudebro and thus becoming hated and hunted amongst his own kind for all eternity. This ship might be the definition of : there is no hetero explanation for this. You can't fool me CD Projekt Red. These two were clearly in love.

7. Mac/Dennis-iasip

What do I love more.

The meme that evolved from this scene or the ship?

Another one of those rough gems and my former obsession . With people so deeply flawed that it's more realistic than the most stuff you see on television these days. There is something about their dynamic that is so interesting to witness. Another one of those ships with some seriously great fanfics just like the one from the lovely person that tagged me.

8.Joseph Oda/Sebastian Castellanos-The Evil Within

Just by looking at this one can imagine that this is anything but a happy ship. Just take all the angst you can imagine and put it in a ship. There we go. Now you've got Joseb.

Another one of those games where you can't help but notice the chemistry and ask yourself if there was something more. I always revisit this one when I feel the urge to get some angst into my system.

9.Johnny Rayflo/Charles J. Chrishunds-Vassalord

My whole life was dedicated to this manga during my teenage years. Just looking at this gif still makes my heart swell in my chest. It's propably the reason why I have such a soft spot for vampires and I still have a special place for these two in my heart. Looks like I've got to reread this soon.

10. Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier-X-Men

I think we all have a special love for that one ship that introduced us to shipping and just fandoms in general. This one is mine.

I still have folders of crappy fanart of them, when I first tried drawing. And one of my first fics was also dedicated to them. I don't know if they either destroyed me or showed me the way into my safe space. And even if my obsession has slowly faded, I still consider this one of my most favorite ships.

That was a ride. My god

Even though I have a lot more I think I'm quite satisfied with how this turned out.

Like always I'm gonna tag (and bother) two of my favorite ladies @kira-hayashi and @natari-55

Dennis is an armored closet bi and coming to grips with actually BEING with a guy instead of just getting off on attention from guys as well as women is difficult, he's got some issues... but finally being with Mac? It's so weirdly easy he doesn't know why he didn't do this years ago. (he does make the mistake of calling Mac's dick cute once, then realizes 'shit I wouldn't want to have mine called cute', but he turns it around- once he calls Mac 'baby', it doesn't matter what else he says)

Oh my god.

This is exactly right. It kills Dennis to be willingly vulnerable with anyone because of all the shit he’s been through and the idea of entering a relationship with someone who might have power over him is terrifying to him. He doesn’t feel safe around people, and he overcompensates to the point of unhealthy and irrational actions, amongst other things. To him, letting someone catch him with his guard down is dangerous. But it’s different with Mac. Because Mac was always there, no matter what. Because he was the only person he consistently tried to open up to. Because Dennis never considered being with Mac seriously, he convinced himself it was more of a display of power than anything else and he never stopped to think just how well they fit together. But when they finally get together for real, and decide that they’re in a committed relationship, not much changes, because he realizes they were basically already in a relationship, they just didn’t acknowledge it. And Dennis is shocked at how good it feels to say it, how right it feels to call Mac “baby” and actually mean it—he realizes later that he probably wanted to mean it every time, he just didn’t realize it then. They’re dysfunctional as shit, but they’re all just dysfunctional people by nature, and things actually move more effortlessly once they realize they love each other.

As Mac edges closer to being out of the closet, Dennis finds something in his friend that he hadn’t realized he’d been craving: the thrill of the chase. He tells himself he just wants to see how far he can take it. What he doesn’t realize, is that too far may break them both.

OR: an in depth look at the D.E.N.N.I.S. system, not as a foolproof method of seduction, but as a subconscious, self-sabotaging way of life.

“Where is everyone?”

Dennis looks up from his phone. It must be the ugly scowl on her face that has him straightening in his seat. He immediately pockets the device and shrugs, clearly blowing her off as he wordlessly takes a drink from his beer. “No idea,” he replies lazily. “They’re around somewhere.”

Dee seethes and glares daggers at her brother. Her jaw twitches as she grits her teeth and Dennis frowns as the sight. “I think Charlie might be cleaning the bathroom,” he finally says.

Dee whirls around and strides towards the bathroom. On some level, she knows that she’s a lit fuse burning hot. At the moment, she hasn’t got the energy to care. Sean’s been pissing her off. Of course she had to find the most annoying, useless man in the world to catch Charlie’s attention. It was always easier when she didn’t give a damn. But lately, it’s not been so easy.

And now Charlie’s ignoring her texts. It’s infuriating in a way she hadn’t quite expected. She’s going to tear him a new asshole.

Dee growls when she throws open the door to the ladies’ room and finds it empty.

She narrows her eyes, practically fuming from the ears when she swings open the door to the men’s room and hears a familiar voice drifting towards her.

“Gonna wear a nice shirt, maybe some slacks… Clean. Gotta be a clean shirt… no pit stains because classy women find that unattractive. Gonna take her some place nice, some place to impress her. She’ll definitely say yes, and I’ll be all like, we can move forward, we can have a life together, we can be happy. It’ll be something real and it’s everything you ever wanted! Yeah, yeah… she’ll definitely come around…”

Dee peaks around the corner. Her lips twitch as the fury that had been steadily building inside her drains when she sees Charlie speaking to himself, holding a broom out with one hand and talking to it like a person. It’s almost endearing in a dumb, hopeless sort of way.

“Charlie?”

The other man jumps and whirls around in shock.

“What are you doing?” Dee asks, bemused, as Charlie nearly drops the broom.

“Dee!” Charlie’s face lights up with a grin. “Hey, nothing, I was just… messing around, cleaning the bathrooms, you know…” He has enough wits to look embarrassed, at least.

“Right…” Dee smirks. “Just cleaning the bathrooms…”

“Well, I’m tryin’ to stay out of the drama too,” Charlie nods his head towards the door. “Mac is being annoying as shit. Frank called him the F-word and they’ve been screaming at each other in the office for like two hours. The guy won’t let it go.”

That explains the muffled shouts she heard. But it’s not something she cares enough to get involved in. She tilts her head as she considers Charlie’s flushed expression. “It kind of sounded like you were going to ask someone out…”

“Oh, yeah. Um… just practicing.” Charlie shuffles on his feet as his hands wring around the handle of the mop. He gives her an embarrassed grin. “You know, tryin’ not to get my nerves twisted in a bunch.”

“Charlie…” She starts softly, her tone soothing and calm, despite how she’s screaming internally at their progress. “I don’t think you need to be all that nervous,” she offers gently.

“Yeah?”

“Well, by this point, you know… it shouldn’t be that big of a deal…” She gives him a soft smile to let him know it’s okay.

It goes clear over Charlie’s head. “I don’t know,” he responds distractedly. “I think she still kind of hates me. I mean, I’m not giving up, that’s for sure. But… you gotta be prepared for rejection, you know?”

The smile instantly drops from her face. Her heart thuds heavily in her chest as the realization dawns on her, nearly knocking her off her feet. “What?” Dee growls hoarsely. “Are you talking about the Waitress?”

“Well, yeah!” Charlie blinks at her in confusion. “Who else would I be talking about?”

“Are you kidding me?” Dee hisses through her teeth. “The goddamn Waitress?! I can’t believe this!” She screams. Her anger flares dangerously as she throws her arms in the air. This is what she gets for trying. She’s so tired of trying. She’s tired of caring. “I can’t believe I actually thought you could change!”

“What are you talking about?” Charlie blusters, frowning at her in shock and bewilderment. “Why are you so pissed right now?”

“Are you dumb?”

Charlie blinks but doesn’t answer.

“Are you blind?” Dee screams at him.

Charlie blinks a few more times as if to check for sure. “No. No, I am definitely seeing out of both eyes.”

“So then… just dumb?” Dee accuses as her eyes flash icily. “You son of a bitch.”

Charlie’s frown grows deeper as he slowly puts the pieces together. “Wait, are you… are you mad because I’m going after the Waitress?” Dee’s feral growl is all the answer he needs. “But I’m in love with her! You know that!”

“You don’t even know her name!” Dee shouts.

Her anger is dangerous, and she wants to scream and bite and throw wild fists. But what she does instead is storm forward, closing the distance between them as she takes Charlie’s face in her hands and presses their lips together. Her momentum forces him back against the stall behind him. They kiss and grind and there’s a lot more teeth than either of them would prefer. But Charlie’s hands rest warmly around her waist, and they’re both panting by the time they part.

“You’re not in love with her,” Dee growls against his lips. “You’re in love with the idea of her. If you actually got to know her at all, you’d drop her in a damn heartbeat.”

Charlie swallows heavily. “Well… yeah.”

It’s Dee’s turn to blink in confusion. “What?” She whispers heatedly, hating the way she allows a faint glimmer of hope to light in her chest.

“I know that… I’ve always known that,” Charlie answers bluntly. “But she’s never going to say yes to me. And… that’s kind of the point.”

Dee slowly relaxes her grip on Charlie’s face. Something in his words is breaking through her anger. “Then why are you chasing her?” She asks. She frowns when Charlie winces. “Why have you been chasing her for the past decade and a half?”

The tension in Charlie’s shoulders drains as he shrugs. “She’s safe.” He pauses. And then a beat later, he continues. “Chasing her felt like a purpose. Knowing that she would never say yes to me… it was safe.”

The implication behind Charlie’s words is clear. “And me?” Dee finally asks. “I don’t feel safe to you?”

“You’re different,” Charlie murmurs.

“Different how?”

“It’s…” Charlie shakes his head reluctantly. “It’s too real.”

Dee slowly drops her hands as she forces herself to back off. She hears the undertone of fear and apprehension in Charlie’s voice. “I get it,” she says wryly. “It’s okay, Charlie.”

“It’s good with you,” Charlie manages. “But I don’t know if…”

They both drop their gaze as his voice trails off. Dee takes a half-step back. She lets out a slow breath, not meeting his eyes until a hard expression is firmly placed back on her face.

“It’s okay,” she says again, her voice stronger this time. They had their fun. And she’ll be damned if she comes out of this looking like the weak one when it’s Charlie who’s too coward to move forward. “Don’t worry about it, Charlie.

“Sorry,” he mutters. And his lips hang open like he might have more to say, but Dee shakes her head to cut him off.

“I’m breaking up with Sean,” she says suddenly.

Charlie’s mouth snaps shut. He raises his eyebrows, quickly going from awkward and uncomfortable to curious with mild hesitation.

“The guy’s an asshole,” Dee says simply. She scowls and takes another step back. Right on time, saving her from whatever moment they’re having, she hears Sean’s annoying voice filter through the bathroom door.

She turns on her heel without another word.

Her eyes are bright with anger when she enters the main room of the bar. Her emotions are still running high as she takes in the sight of her brother smirking at her asshole of a boyfriend. Sean leans against the bar, giving Dennis a look that is far too flirtatious for comfort. She’s dealt with months of this douchebag’s behavior, and it was all for nothing. Her nails dig painfully into her palms. Why did she ever think this was a good idea?

“It’s over, dick nose. Lose my number.”

“W-what?!” Sean stutters, looking up in shock. He blinks rapidly, looking like it’s a real struggle to process her words. “Babe-”

Dennis snorts and has the decency to turn away to hide his grin.

Dee rolls her eyes. Ignoring the pitiful protests that reach her ears, she walks away in a huff.

There’s an awkward moment as Charlie watches her go. He thinks for a second maybe he should go after her. But he knows she’d rather be alone. And if he did… he might actually get his head bitten off.

Confused sputters and muffled snickers reach his ears. Charlie looks over to see Dennis peeking his head up. He looks like he’s about to say something to the recently dumped when the moment is interrupted by the office door swinging open with a bang. Out storms Mac, going off hot like a gun.

“Dennis, we’re leaving!” He shouts, righteous anger apparent on his face.

“What?”

“Frank’s being a dick!” Mac clarifies. He nods his head desperately towards the door, barely pausing in front of him. “Let’s go!”

Dennis turns his head away, rearranging his face into a scowl.

“Let’s go, come on!” Mac whines when Dennis doesn’t move.

The other man seems quite insistent about spending the rest of the evening sitting his ass at the bar, getting plastered. Charlie actually thinks that’s not a terrible idea. He sighs softly to himself as he grabs a bottle from behind the bar. Dennis nods at him, a cue to pass him another beer.

“I’m quite comfortable here, Mac. The bar’s empty and I’m only just getting a buzz on.”

“I don’t care!” Mac announces, his words loud and firm. “I want to leave, let’s go!”

“Dude…” Charlie starts, feeling exhaustion burn through his veins like acid. The last thing he wants is to be witness to yet another argument. “Just let it go-”

“Come on,” Sean smoothly cuts him off. “He doesn’t have to go if he doesn’t want to. Hang out awhile. I wouldn’t mind a few beers myself.”

Charlie pulls a face at the thought of this guy hanging out with them. He’s half wondering why he’s even still at their bar when Dee obviously wants nothing to do with him. Dennis’ eyebrows casually go up. But it’s the look on Mac’s face that clearly says he would rather chew on broken glass.

Mac blatantly ignores him. “Dennis,” he forces through gritted teeth. His eyes flicker between his boyfriend and the guy that’s still standing far too close to him. “Can I talk to you in private?”

Dennis rolls his eyes tiredly, an unpleasant, bored expression planted on his face. “Mac, whatever you have to say, just say it.”

“Dennis, come on-”

“Just come out with it already!” Dennis slams his bottle onto the table making everyone jump. “Goddamnit, we go around in circles every goddamn time we have an argument because you can’t just come out and say what you want!”

Charlie’s stomach sinks heavily into his gut. He’s seen this argument enough times to know how it ends. Usually in violence. As Mac stubbornly refuses to back down and Dennis shifts from mood to mood too quick for anyone to keep up.

“Why didn’t you stand up for me?” Mac demands.

Dennis gives him an unimpressed look as he scoffs. “What?”

“What didn’t you stand up for me?” Mac throws him an angry look. “With Frank!” An eye roll and a snort from the other man has his blood boiling hot.

“Act like a man and stand up for yourself,” Dennis orders, his voice low with annoyance. “Talkin’ about bein’ so tough and badass all the time, and what, you need me to fight your battles for you?”

“No, that’s not what I was asking for!” Mac barks at him. “Goddamnit, Dennis! I just wanted some backup! And you’re gay! I figured you of all people would understand!”

Well, that might be the funniest thing Dennis has ever heard, judging from his reaction. “Since when?” Dennis snorts and chokes on a laugh.

Mac blanches. He stares, jaw dropped for a solid few seconds before he finds his words. “You like dick… you’re gay,” he says obviously.

“I like your dick,” Dennis clarifies slowly for him.

“Are you-are you being serious right now?” Mac sputters.

“Deadly.”

It becomes a silent battle of wills as they stubbornly glare with gritted teeth and clenched fists. Mac finally gives in by looking away first. He’s so clearly uncomfortable with the extra pairs of eyes on him that Charlie feels bad enough to drop his gaze. He pretends to busy himself with something behind the bar as Dennis swings around on his stool, giving Mac the cold shoulder.

“Dennis, can we just go?” Mac asks, his voice softer now, almost pleading.

“You can go, Mac. No one’s stopping you. I think I’m gonna hang around a bit. Finish my beer.” Dennis laughs, loud, obnoxious, and fake.

“Whatever,” Mac grumbles under his breath. He gnaws on his bottom lip before stomping off like a petulant child.

“Later, dude,” Sean says faintly after him, his eyes following as Mac storms out of the bar.

Charlie sighs after Mac had gone. “Come on, man.” He gives Dennis a disapproving glare. “You don’t have to be like that…”

They both ignore him.

“That’s your boyfriend?” Sean asks.

“Yeah.”

“Nice ass.”

Dennis chuckles, finally turning to look up at his sister’s ex-boyfriend with a crooked grin. “Yeah. It is, isn’t it?”

Charlie frowns at them over the bar. They pay him no attention as they clink their bottles together. He takes a slow drink of his own beer. He thinks Sean doesn’t look nearly disappointed enough at being newly single. And Dennis… well, Charlie is far too familiar with the look on his face. And he doesn’t like it.

He wonders what Dee’s up to. If she were here, she’d probably tell him the guys aren’t worth his time. He wasn’t exactly surprised that his two best friends started banging. He kind of expected it to happen sooner. But Mac isn’t any less annoying. And Dennis isn’t any less crazy.

What they are, is a slowly ticking time bomb.

Charlie sighs. He kind of really wishes Dee were here.

*

It’s three in the morning when Dennis steps into their darkened bedroom. He’s numb and content in a way only copious amounts of alcohol could offer him. He stumbles through the apartment. Vaguely, he feels the cold that seeps deep into his bones. He can practically see his breath, what the fuck. He imagines himself wrapped in Mac’s arms, and it brings a crooked smile to his lips.

He knows Mac probably turned the heat down just to piss him off.

Mac is never cold, while Dennis is always freezing. They’re like two sides of a coin.

Dennis slowly creaks open the door of their bedroom. His eyes adjust to the dark, and he makes out the figure of Mac sleeping soundly in their bed. Alone. Something akin to sentimentality blooms on his face as he watches his best friend and lover sleep.

He doesn’t know what he had been expecting. Did he expect Mac to stay angry at him? To stay up, awaiting his return, waiting to throw a fit because of his actions? Or to look angry and restless in his sleep? To toss and turn, unable to find peace with the thought that Dennis is displeased with him?

Mac lies still and sound in his slumber.

Dennis softly pads over until he’s staring down at the man before him. Mac has the covers pooled around his waist. His shirtless chest rises and falls, slow and steady.

Mac has always been a heavy sleeper.

Air slowly escapes Dennis’ lips as he watches him with dark, hooded eyes. The thought that constantly plagues him, invades his restless mind again. Why does this man hold such power over him? He’s loathed to admit it, but he knows it’s true. He knows the things he’s done for Mac, the very dangerous things that terrify him to his core. 

Dennis swallows the lump in his throat.

It makes him angry. Admitting this weakness about himself, it makes him feel small. Helpless. Weak. Because this man, this stupid, idiot of a man, who annoys him with his habits, infuriates him with his choices, and constantly has him straddling the line between strangling him and kissing him--Dennis can’t let him go.

That’s the apex of their struggle. Not that Mac would ever admit it.

By far, the worst part is how much he needs him. Dennis hates how much he needs him.

His hand trembles as he reaches out. His fingers gently hook beneath the covers, and slowly, carefully he inches them down.

Mac doesn’t stir.

Dennis bites his lip as he continues to pull the covers down to Mac’s thighs. He takes in the sight of Mac’s cock, soft and flaccid. Heat inevitably pools downwards, and Dennis suddenly freezes in place.

What the hell is he doing?

His mind is hazy with alcohol. Desire and arousal lumped on top of that have his head spinning. A moment later, Dennis pulls his hand back. He sighs softly, suddenly feeling shaky on his feet.

He sheds his clothes as quietly as he can. One of his shoes thumps against the floor when he drops it, and he curses none too quietly to himself. But still, Mac doesn’t stir. Dennis shivers in the cold air, and he wastes no time crawling on top of the other man, eager to get close and beneath the covers where they can share their heat.

Mac jumps awake with a start and a gasp.

“Hey, babe.”

“Wha… Dennis?”

“Go back to sleep,” Dennis whispers.

“What are you doing? Why are you on my side of the bed?” Mac mumbles in his half-asleep state, and he refuses to scoot over to make room.

“Just wanna be close to you, that’s all.”

“Goddamnit, you’re cold,” Mac hisses. 

Dennis grins at Mac’s groggy voice in his ear. “You’re the one who turned the damn heat off,” he replies.

“It’s not my fault you have no insulation.”

“Insulation?” Dennis whispers. “You mean fat?”

“It’s mass.”

Dennis chuckles. He entwines their legs. Despite how their bodies are already pressed together, he somehow manages to pull them even closer, much to Mac’s distress.

“No! No, don’t push me,” Mac protests in a whiny voice.

“What’s wrong? You don’t like feeling cold?” Dennis chides, pressing his cold feet against Mac’s and grinning when the other man jumps.

“Goddamnit, no! Stop!” Mac protests, unable to pull away. “I put itching powder all over your side of the bed,” he finally admits.

Dennis lifts his head to glare at him in the dark. “You what?”

“I was pissed at you,” Mac says frankly. ‘You’re a fucking asshole.”

Dennis shrugs, unwilling to argue. He sighs softly, wondering how the fuck they ended up here. He scoffs silently to himself. A moment later, he presses a kiss to Mac’s lips. The other man’s arms come up to wrap around him.

“Go to sleep,” Dennis whispers.

“M’kay.”

Dennis rests his head on Mac’s chest. His eyes close and he revels in the warmth of the other man’s body. He’s getting the spins. It’s a dangerous thing made worse when he can’t tell if it’s from the alcohol or from Mac.

He swallows the lump in his throat. Mac’s heartbeat pounds beneath his ear. His worst fear, and the one he’s starting to admit is a reality:

It’s definitely Mac.

#2 with macdennis bc it's Too Perfect for them omg

2. “We were just pretending to be lovers, but I’m not pretending anymore. I need to know if you feel the same way.” AN:  Bless you Arin, this really is perfect for them, and I’m such a sucker for the fake dating trope. This was meant to short thing to break me out of writers block but it ended up being just over 2K. I’m not even sorry. What a way to get into writing for this fandom.This fic is set at a nondescript time after Mac has come out for good. I haven’t seen S12 yet, so it might not fit perfectly into canon events but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯prompt meme + AO3 mirror

It’s not the first time that they’ve pretended to be a couple. It should have been familiar; they’ve done it before, it’s practiced and safe and proven to work. Only, in their excitement to execute their latest scheme, they’d ignored one very important thing: Mac wasn’t in denial any more.Mac’s openness about his sexuality and feelings was such a relief to everyone, and since they’d seen it coming a mile off, it was by no means a surprise when he admitted to being gay. There was no adjustment period, because they’d all known for so long. As far as most of the gang were concerned, nothing had changed. Mac was still the same, only now there was much less denial and self-hatred about him. Maybe that was why it was so easy for Dennis to overlook the possibility that Mac might read too much into this whole act they had planned.

They’d gone to a wedding fayre pretending to be engaged in order to take advantage of the free food samples. It had seemed like a fool proof idea, and to give both Mac and Dennis credit, it only really fell apart after they had left, stuffed with cake and burdened with business cards they had only taken out of courtesy. They had successfully convinced everyone they were an actual couple, that they were engaged and excited to be married.It was so convincing, Mac himself had started to question just how much acting they had been doing. Whereas before, Mac may have ignored these thoughts, pushed them away and vehemently denied ever having them, he was different now.

The car ride back to their apartment is uncharacteristically silent, with Mac having a personal crisis in the passenger seat as he realises he might have feeling for his best friend. Dennis doesn’t question it—Mac’s had gay panics before which looked exactly like this. But Mac’s gay panics don’t involve a confrontation, and that’s exactly what happens when they get inside.“What was all that about?” Asks Mac, trying to keep his tone light. Dennis sees right through it, knows Mac has been worrying and planning what to say. And that’s the best he could come up with? Really?“All what? The wedding crap? It was about getting free stuff, Mac,” Dennis says dismissively, toeing off his shoes. Mac rolls his eyes.“I know why we did it, that’s not what I’m talking about. I meant you, with all the touching and the nice things. You never say nice things about me.”“Well I had to make it believable, didn’t I?”“So you didn’t mean any of it?” Mac asks, a little sceptical.“Well, some if it was true, obviously. We have lived together for years, and that stuff about you having a problem with food wasn’t a lie, we both know that.” Dennis is avoiding the question, is trying to start a different argument about Mac’s weight, but Mac won’t let him talk his way around this one.“Dennis,” Mac sighs, shoulders slumping “Don’t do that. I need to know.”“Need to know what?” Dennis replies, frustration making his voice climb higher and his eyes get slightly wider, more manic. Mac huffs, knows that Dennis isn’t that stupid.“If any of that was real!” snaps Mac. “If you were just acting the whole time when you said all that stuff to me, or if you really meant it.”“We were pretending, Mac!” He shouts in response. “Why would you think I meant any of that shit?”“Because I did!” Mac yells, unable to keep his silence any longer. He’s spent his whole life hiding from his feelings, and he’s tired. He’s tired of denying this, of pretending he’s never thought of or wanted Dennis as more than a friend. Mac’s pretty sure Dennis knows exactly how Mac feels—how could he not? He knows everything. Mac thinks he just needed to hear it, to be sure.Although, Dennis does look shocked. Maybe he just never expected Mac to admit to this, after the years of refusing to do so. Mac’s a little surprised himself, truth be told, but he can’t back out now. Dennis’s silence and confused look makes Mac worry, and he’s driven on by the need to fill the tense silence between them.“At first, I thought, y’know, it’s just pretending again, like we did before. And we got all that free shit, and it was great, but…” Mac trails off, sighs again. “All that shit you said about seeing me happy and not wanting me to be with anyone else? That was, like, really gay, Dennis.”“You are gay! We were pretending to be a gay couple!” Dennis shouts, completely exasperated.“Yeah, we were and that’s the problem! We were pretending, and then you said all this stuff that made me feel things, and then I didn’t know if I was pretending anymore,” Mac explains whilst flailing his hands around, just as frustrated with this whole situation. Only, in a surprising turn of events, he seems much calmer than Dennis is. “So I need to know if you feel the same way, or if you were making all that up just to get people to think that you like me.”“Jesus Christ,” Dennis groans, rubs his eyes and then pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re asking me if I like you now, come on, Mac,” he says in that patronising voice, like Mac is the one being unreasonable here.“Don’t do that, dude! You know exactly what I’m asking you!”“You are asking me stupid questions that I, quite frankly, don’t need to answer, because they’re so stupid.”“No, I’m doing what you wanted,” Mac says defensively. “I’m admitting that I have feelings and now you’re the one being weird and not talking about shit!”“Oh you want to talk now?” Dennis goads. “You want to talk, Mac? Sure, let’s talk about our feelings. Shall we start with you and how you’ve been clearly in love with me for years, Mac?” Dennis says venomously, attacking with his words, and it’s not a bad strategy. Before it would’ve worked, Mac would have taken the bait and lashed out in response, but not now. Mac knows Dennis’s defence tactics, knows that he’s deflecting because Dennis doesn’t like showing that he cares about anyone.“Fucking—Jesus Christ, man, yes! That’s exactly what I’m trying to talk about!” Dennis blanches at Mac’s lack of resistance. He fumbles for words, hadn’t expected Mac to just to admit to the accusation.“You are?” Asks Dennis. His voice is uncharacteristically soft, his brow furrowed in confusion.“Yes,” sighs Mac. “I just told you bro, I wasn’t pretending to be in love with you earlier. Now will you answer the damn question and tell me if you meant any of that shit, because I’ve seen Charlie do that unrequited thing for fuck knows how long, and I’m not going through that, dude.”“You’re serious,” Dennis says flatly. Mac raises his eyebrows and gives Dennis an impatient look, prompting Dennis to groan dramatically. “Unbelievable,” he mutters to himself before looking back up. He looks too composed, his eyes dead and his face deliberately devoid of emotion. Mac braces himself for news he doesn’t want to hear. “Yes, I meant it,” he admits finally. “Happy?”“I…” Mac starts, but he doesn’t know what he wants to say. He’s a little stunned, and the initial shock is suppressing the joy that he expected. “All of it?” He asks, needs to be sure.“Yes, all of it, Mac,” Dennis huffs. It’s almost like this whole conversation is one big inconvenience to him, but for Mac the reality is starting to sink in. He thinks over all of the things Dennis had said earlier, his mixture of pride and possessiveness for Mac, and it makes him grin. “Don’t smile like that,” scolds Dennis, but Mac pays him no attention.“You love me,” he laughs, a little delirious. Dennis is immediately starting to regret being honest with him.“Yeah, well, you love me too asshole,” he quips. He appears to be nowhere near as thrilled as Mac is.“I do! I love you, Dennis,” Mac says, his stupid grin even wider. It’s such a relief to admit it, to finally say that out loud to Dennis and know that his feelings are reciprocated. “Hey, does this mean we’re like, dating, bro?”“What? Why would this mean that we’re dating?”“Well, y’know, if we like, love each other, then we should date right? That makes sense.”Dennis mulls this proposal over for a short time whilst Mac looks at him like an excited puppy awaiting attention. He wasn’t exaggerating earlier when he’d told those women at the ice cream catering stall that he couldn’t stand the thought of Mac being with someone else. Following that line of thinking, then, it made sense to do what fake-engaged Dennis had claimed to have done, and snatch Mac up for himself.“Sure,” Dennis nods, after concluding that there were a long list pros and practically no cons to officially dating Mac.“Yeah?” Mac says, his face all hopeful. Dennis rolls his eyes.“Yeah, Mac. We’re dating.”“Sweet!” Mac exclaims, and before Dennis has a chance to say anything else, Mac is there, in his personal space, his arms wrapping around Dennis and pulling him into a hug. Dennis blinks and stares over Mac’s shoulder for a few seconds before slowly raising his arms from his sides, tentatively returning the hug. He hears Mac let out a contented sigh and Dennis lets himself smile a little. Mac’s arms feel nice around him, his hold strong and comforting.“Hey, Mac,” Dennis mumbles after a little while, and Mac pulls back with a worried look on his face, wonders if he’s done something wrong, if Dennis is going to tell him this whole thing was a joke and he doesn’t really love him. But Dennis gives him a small, genuine smile and Mac relaxes as one of Dennis’s hands come up to cup his cheek.This feels familiar too; Mac knows he’s been here before, Dennis’s hand on his face, calming him down. It’s so much different now though, means so much more when they’re on the same page, when they’re actually a couple and not just pretending to be one.“If we’re dating, then that means I can kiss you, right?” Dennis asks, his lips curving into a smirk. Mac looks stunned, but nods eagerly. That’s all Dennis needs. He’s still smirking as he leans in and kisses him, presses against Mac’s soft lips.Honestly, it’s a little underwhelming; there’s no spark of fiery passion from desperation, no fireworks and no grand realisations. They’re both at ease with where they are and how feel. The kiss is slow and tender. It’s not like anything that Dennis has ever wanted, but it’s nice. It’s effortless and relieving, like getting home and putting on comfortable clothes after a long day. Dennis feels the way he does when he takes off his makeup at night and relaxes, content in his own skin. When they part they stay close, breathing against each other’s mouths, and Dennis lets out a soft sigh. He thinks he could get used to this.They spend the rest of the night on the sofa, with Mac pressed against Dennis’s side, reluctant to have any distance between them. They put on a movie they’ve seen too many times before, and eat popcorn out of a small bowl, their hands brushing frequently. That’s how they fall asleep, and in the morning, they don’t talk about it, they just fall into a domestic rhythm, like they’ve always been a couple, like it’s normal for Dennis to kiss Mac on the temple and touch his hip when he comes up behind him in the kitchen.Dennis doesn’t throw away the business cards they brought back from the wedding fayre. He tries to be discreet about keeping them, stuffs them in a drawer and thinks Mac doesn’t notice. Mac does notice, but he doesn’t question it. He trusts that next time, Dennis will be the one to start the conversation about developing their relationship, whenever he’s ready to do so.

Since there’s some minor ship wars going on and just general discussion and disagreement, and I just feel like sharing my thoughts on the Charlie/Dee relationship, since it’s one of my favorites, and I think one of the most interesting.

Do I think they’re actually in love? No. But I do think they’ll settle for each other. Their relationship feels like one of those things in movies where two friends decide “if we’re both still single [at a certain point], let’s just get together” They both realize they can’t escape the gang, both because they’re all so codependent, but also because no one else will have them. Even meeting someone and bringing them in is unlikely and would throw off the balance.

Charlie may finally accept that it’s never going to happen with The Waitress- he’s already admitted it some in “The Gang Group Dates”, then kind of in “Frank Falls Out the Window”. He decides that he’s getting tired of constantly being rejected and all the work he puts into doing stuff for her/attempts at courting.  Maybe she even gets better at avoiding him, and becomes harder to track down; which could come from experience but also, she apparently doesn’t have a home anymore and might have a new, or even no, job for Charlie to stalk at and hang around. I think after so much rejection, Dee finally admits that some rich, successful, attractive guy isn’t going to whisk her away from Philly and the bar to what she thinks is a better, more classy, life. And that she’s stuck with the gang forever, and the way things are now are the way they’ll stay.

I don’t see them having any really sweet, romantic love story with flowers and presents, and mushy stuff, but they both seem to have a similar, slightly warped, sense of what a relationship is and what they both want. In “Charlie and Dee Find Love” we learn the things Charlie does for The Waitress to keep her safe and healthy. He puts vitamins in her shampoo, chases people away from her bike, and even somehow tests her food for poison. Though I feel like her standards have fallen some over the years, Dee probably still has somewhat high expectations for a lifestyle and wanting to be somewhat pampered by someone. And while both of these beliefs are fairly unhealthy, they work together in a way; one wants to essentially obsess over someone, while the other wants to be obsessed over.

It appears they both want a relationship, or at least the idea. In “The Gang Saves the Day” Charlie imagines moving The Waitress in with him, getting married, and even raising rats, and eventually kids, together. He really sees them living a storybook life. Dee, apparently, also has some desire for an exclusive relationship with someone. In “The Gang Group Dates” she goes out once with a guy, on what probably wasn’t even a “real date” and assumes they’re exclusively dating: calling him her boyfriend, buying him a promise ring, and even deleting her dating profile. Then, in “PTSDee” she hooks up with Mike once, and thinks they’re dating and have a “really amazing connection” and “meaningful sex” Yeah, she used to sleep with guys to get something out of it, or to make herself feel better/prove some sort of self worth; but now it seems like she’s actually looking for someone to be with on a more personal level. She even tries on wedding dresses every Saturday for over a year, and says “I should be the one getting married”

In “The Gang Misses the Boat” they both admit that Mac and Dennis, and maybe Frank?, make them do things they don’t really want to do. Not that they’re any better or nicer than the others but maybe don’t dislike each other as much as they pretend to, essentially out of self preservation. I may be reaching here, but there’s the obvious attack the other before they get it, but there’s probably also a knowing that defending the other one when being teased will result in criticism. I read an article that called them both “the kicked dogs of the group” and it really is a good description as to how the gang treats each of them, and also how they treat and relate to each other.

Together, just as 2, they support each other. Dee explains to Charlie that he doesn’t have to eat beak at all when he admits, and even seems a little concerned, that he doesn’t want to but is made to, and is even genuinely happen happy for Charlie when he successfully orders the sandwich after he seemed stressed about it. She even says “I’m very proud of you” then later, when Charlie suggests they go right out to an open mic night, Dee admits to being scared and he authentically tells her, that she’ll “do great”*

So, I feel like my “shipping” of these 2 is wanting them to essentially have what Mac and Dennis already do. A mutual understanding and support of each other and having that one person they connect with automatically in the group, mostly by having a need the only the other person can fulfill, mostly through a symbiotic relationship. Frank has Artemis, the bridge people, and hookers, and seems to be okay with disappearing from the other 4 for a while. Mac and Dennis have their monthly dinners and movie nights, and I want Charlie and Dee to have the same thing. Maybe they rent a crappy movie and order take-out, or Charlie writes songs and she hangs around listening and giving ideas. (“Well, you know I like making music.” “Yeah, and I like listening to it.”)

I support that they’ll eventually just fall into a pattern of spending time with just each other, doing things they both enjoy that the others will criticize (def poetry and characters for example). And they’ll eventually just give up on chasing other people, because they’ve both found a connection with each other, and actually feel emotionally content. No one in the gang really is capable of having a normal relationship, and honestly, I feel like just giving up on that and settling for each other is the best they’ll ever get. (and maybe even deserve) I’ve seen a few people on here say that they have a good friendship, but platonic and romantic attraction is getting mixed up. In a way, I agree, and think that’s what works. No one in the gang actually knows what a healthy relationship is. Like Dennis’ marriage to Maureen failed partly because marriage wasn’t what he envisioned, and didn’t want to change his lifestyle and give up on friends and doing what he wanted. They both have some sort of romantic drive, and might not find it as great as they expect, but still find something from inside the gang.

It’s also interesting how they were kind of thrown together. I imagine that Charlie and Mac were friends in high school and always were together (obviously). Dee probably hung out with Dennis because they both didn’t really have any friends, and still had that codependency they hadn’t shaken since childhood. Mac and Dennis started to get closer and Charlie and Dee kind of got stuck together because they still wanted to be around Mac and Dennis, respectively, then when those two started getting really close, the other two hung out by default.

tl;dr- I don’t see Dee and Charlie having some sort of real romantic, love driven relationship that’s expected of shows, but they do seem to have a special rapport and a mutual understanding with each other, and need for acceptance they get exclusively from each other.

* I feel like the way she says it is important. It sounds so sincere and vulnerable. Dee has had to put up such a strong front for years, and she’s 100% putting out a weakness in both words and tone. She’s putting real faith that Charlie isn’t going to take an opportunity to insult or put her down.

————————————————————————————–

I know there’s talk and disagreements about sexuality and that kind of thing, and I’m 100% not trying to start discourse, and as much as I love Charlie being on the asexual spectrum, he seems to initiate anything between them that happens along those lines. There is some sort of attraction there. I don’t really want to tie this in with the first part, but want to at least acknowledge it.

There’s something about “Underage Drinking” that feels like there’s something there; when Charlie and Dennis are talking and drinking, Dee comes out of the backroom and he actually calls her over and says “come here, let me take a look at you.” He then seems a little surprised by her outfit, as if he was initially expecting/anticipating something nice and starts out trying to compliment her, rather than having intentions to make a joke. In “The Gang Gets Held Hostage”, he’s the one to kiss her. (then pretty much leaves her to die, but still does something first). Then in “Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo” when Charlie is getting worked up over the drawings, and Dee snaps him out of it, he asks her what she’s doing, because she looks pretty… before getting cut off. It might have been pretty good, or just more of an okay/good enough thing. In “Charlie Rules the World” after learning what consummate means he seems to think, and maybe even be slightly hopeful, that she means for real; he asks “so, we should have sex, then” instead of something like “we have to have sex then” and when she tells him in the game he responds with “either way” Finally, in “The Gang Misses the Boat” Charlie is the first one to make any sort of move/acknowledgement. He’s the first one to say “I feel like I’m feeling something” then after the silence, he’s the one to acknowledge there’s still something there (the subtitles say “chuckles”) and seems to move in first.

So I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately about how Mac deserves so much better than Dennis, and if he ends up with Dennis, it will basically be an act of kindness and self-assured destruction. To be fair, that’s somewhat true- I mean, that’s the whole point of the first episode of Season 13. Even though their lives are considerably better without Dennis, the rest of the gang will still choose him time and time again and deal with the consequences, because they’re all codependent to some extent (although you could argue Dennis is actually the most codependent of all of them). But they’re all pieces of shit, they’re all terrible people who deserve nothing, including Mac (I mean, we love them, but they’re just terrible). Mac is not some pure little angel baby who has done everything right and is the light to Dennis darkness or whatever. No one ever wants to talk about how often Mac breaks Dennis’ heart. Granted, everything I’m about to cite may be due to his obliviousness, ignorance, and inner turmoil... but the same is true for the way Dennis treats Mac. It’s a double standard (more below the cut because this got long). 🐸☕️

In the early seasons, Dennis is clearly more confident with his sexuality and more capable of expressing emotions. In general, he’s a much more real and honest person, and he’s not hiding behind a fabricated version of himself like he is now. Now, that may have been because his character wasn’t completely solidified at the time, but either way, it’s still canon. Time and time again, everyone (including Mac) shut Dennis down when sexuality or emotions were brought up. Every time he had big, loud, genuine feelings, the gang got confused and wrote him off and acted like he was being a total weirdo. Mac has historically been very in-your-face about his condemnation of gay relationships as well, and every time, Dennis has reacted by dismissing him or punishing him in one way or another. Hearing that shit over and over again has obviously been pretty tiring for Dennis, especially if you subscribe to the Season 5 theory (if you do, ouch, it’s not fucking fun to be messing around with someone who’s ashamed of you and thinks they’re committing a sin)- and that’s only the extent of it we see onscreen. What we don’t see is how many times Mac has rebuked gay relationships all throughout his friendship with Dennis, in high school and when Dennis was in college and basically their entire lives. As long as Dennis has known Mac, he’s reiterated over and over again that being gay is a sin, and it continues to drive Dennis further and further back into himself (whether you argue that he’s bisexual or gay, he clearly isn’t straight, yet he’s devolved into flat out stating that he is in the most recent season). Mac repeatedly retreats to women he cares nothing for rather than being with Dennis because it’s a safety net (and yes, I’ll give you that Dennis does this, too). Then Mac suddenly whips back around and is out and confident and openly calls himself gay at every given opportunity- and that has to be a punch to the gut. The way he felt about Dennis, how much he loved him, was never enough to make him comfortable in his sexuality. In Goes To Hell, Mac’s coming out is partially a love confession for Dennis as well, which is made quite clear when they’re drowning- then he takes it back at the end. But he comes out over a goddamn lottery ticket and stays out. That has to sting. (Not only does it sting, but it means Dennis actually has to deal with his feelings, but that’s a whole other can of worms I’m not opening right now).

And it’s more than just Mac’s religion and his fight against gay relationships. It’s instances like the one in Beats Boggs. For a moment, Dennis quite visibly gets his hopes up that Mac might be kind to him, might ask him to stay because he cares about him and enjoys his company because he’s his best friend and doesn’t want him to go. And then he doesn’t- he just marks him out of the competition. Dennis’ face clearly screams why did I expect anything more? This is not an isolated incident. In both Beats Boggs and DDL, all it would have taken for Dennis to stay would have been Mac asking him to- but he never does. All Dennis ever needs is one good reason to stay, and Mac never gives him one, reassuring Dennis over and over again that he doesn’t care if he stays or goes, doesn’t need him, which has to hurt. Mac is often comfortable writing Dennis off immediately. He never fights for him. If Dennis leaves, then he leaves, and Mac adapts. In Tends Bar, after knowing him basically his entire life, Mac still thinks Dennis doesn’t have feelings! He sees Dennis on such a surface level sometimes, actually believes the front he puts up, but doesn’t see what’s underneath, doesn’t see the real Dennis. Everything in Dennis is clearly constantly begging for Mac to just see him and really know him. Dennis knows Mac better than he knows himself and Mac... sometimes doesn’t really know Dennis at all. Dennis basically has to kick and scream and shove it in Mac’s face for him to actually comprehend what he’s saying, thinking, or feeling.

And Dennis doesn’t want to have to be loud- he’s not ready to be loud. He wants Mac to look at him and just know what he’s feeling, because he should, because they’ve known each other forever and they’re best friends. But Mac is more or less incapable of noticing anything Dennis doesn’t clearly state. When Dennis snaps and goes against the character of himself he’s constantly playing, Mac is confused and surprised by it- just as much as Charlie and Dee are and even complete strangers are. Dealing with Mac can be like dealing with a dog at times. He loves Dennis unconditionally but doesn’t always know why, he’s adaptable and moves on a thousand times faster than Dennis can (Dennis honestly can’t- there could be a thousand people out there for Mac, but there is no one else for Dennis), he’s easily distracted and confused and hardly ever sees past the surface (he doesn’t even understand why his own actions frustrate Dennis sometimes, even when it’s pretty obvious as to why), he can be perfectly carefree and happy while Dennis is going through hell, he’s impossible to talk to a lot of the time and he pretty much doesn’t see Dennis on a deeper level than anyone else does, despite knowing him and loving him for so many years. But Dennis continues to want Mac’s approval and reassurance and love, very clearly thrives off of it, and this isn’t a goddamn power play or some sort of dominance/ego trip bullshit. I see that as part of the “Mac deserves better”’ argument so often and it’s not the case. Sure, Dennis has an image of himself, and sure, he cares about his reputation, but that’s not why he wants and needs Mac’s approval. He needs it because it makes him feel validated and happy and safe.

So yes, Mac could easily do better than Dennis, but he probably doesn’t deserve it. That’s the whole point of the show- these people are together because no one else wants to be friends with them. They stay together because they’re pieces of shit and all they have is each other. Mac is not an innocent, pure baby who’s been trampled on by Dennis the entire goddamn time. They’re both awful, they’ve both hurt one another over and over and over again, and they’re both terrible at recognizing Dennis’ feelings. If Dennis works overtime to stifle them and Mac can’t see past the charade, then how are his emotions ever supposed to come into the light? How are they going to move past that if Mac can’t see below the surface, if Dennis has to scream it aloud just to get him to understand? One can only hope they figure that out.

And if they do, it won’t be Mac staying with Dennis as an act of kindness and generosity, it won’t be Mac refusing to do better because he’s blindly in love, it won’t be Mac having a thousand options but choosing Dennis anyways. It isn’t any of that. People so consistently want to pretend that’s the case and none of that is true- and even if it is, then the reverse is also true.

They both deserve better and they both deserve nothing, simultaneously. They’ve both broken each other’s hearts time and time again, they’re both equally as awful, and yeah- maybe Dennis needs Mac more than Mac needs Dennis, but that’s just another example of what’s made Dennis so insecure and desperate. This is not some light vs darkness, manipulative, unevenly balanced relationship dynamic as people so often want to portray it. It’s just two shitty people (and let me reiterate, I absolutely love them) who should probably be in jail, who are so emotionally damaged and repressed and fragile, who don’t ever get the timing or the words quite right and who are always so close to figuring it out yet so far away. But they’re going to figure it out, and when they do, when they can finally be honest for the first time in forever, they’re going to deserve to be so happy. Sometimes two awful people deserve each other and sometimes that’s perfect. No one is going to be settling. No one is going to be surrendering. No one is going to deserve better. They deserve exactly as much as each other and nothing more. 

The Structure of S14: a theory on how the season’s arc is structured, and on the ending

Here we go, finally, the post that drove me to make tumblr in the first place.

This is a direct follow-up to the other two posts I just did, so if you haven’t done so already, you need to read all the info/proof I have provided in them, in order to understand why I say what I’m gonna say.

You can do so right here.

As I said, every single episode in S14 serves a specific purpose in the arc/structure we’re witnessing, and none of them are fillers, NONE of them.

First, this is how I think the rest of the season is gonna go, based on the proof.

Assuming all the proof is correct, Charlie now knows that Mac Knows about Dennis' attraction to him/guys. So, cue the episode where we see his point of view, we get to see how he perceives them, which informs our experience on the next episode. The Gang Solves Global Warming. 

Following Escapes’ symbolism, after Mops, during Global Warming, he’s gonna pass the Key to Frank, aka he’s gonna tell him about what he knows, possibly in frustration post some event in Global Warming, because he’s been forced to witness their oblivious mutual pining without any new development.

In comes “A Woman’s Right To Chop”, a Dennis and Frank pair up episode. Pretty weird, those happen VERY rarely. But there’s a reason for why it happens now. So, Frank confronts Dennis in Chop about what he knows. Dennis denies it, and wants to prove to Frank that he's wrong. This becomes his new character motivation that will drive him all the way until the finale. What I think he’ll do to desperately try to prove to Frank that he’s wrong is, just like in TGGR with Dee’s planned role as diversion, Dennis bangs a chick. It just so happens that Jackie Denardo starts in S14, and we don’t yet know in which episode, so I can’t confidently say whether she’ll star in Chop or Jumper (we can’t fully determine when he will bang her, but I’m confident he’ll bang HER, or come close to), either way, that’s the reason she stars in S14. She represents the culmination of Dennis’ forced attraction to girls that actually never occurs. Getting over her means embracing his true feelings.

So, he bangs her. Just like Frank and Charlie post sleeping with the girls, Dennis feels that “it doesn't quite feel right”, and he misses Mac, but he doesn't pay it any mind yet. Continuing with this, it is unclear whether Mac will learn about it in Jumper or Big Mo, all we know is that Mac doesn’t seem angry in the Big Mo clips, so my guess is the latter, as the build up would come to a halt as Mac finally confronts Dennis about his feelings and he, in order to deny, reveals he banged her and staged the Big Mo thing so that Mac will get off of him for good. This argument would then drive Mac to decide to actually give Big Mo a chance, which is when Dennis’ jealousy would truly make him snap out of the denial.

This can technically also be supported by the dialogue in TGGR, which goes as follows:

“I know that what you had with [x] (Dennis) was special, and I know that I (Big Mo) can never replace him, but that’s dead and buried now, and you gotta move on. And I know that it’s crazy because we just met, but I feel like if you just give us a chance, we could tell a lovestory for the ages.”

So this brings us to the key question. How does it end? The synopsis for Jumper was kind enough to give us a crucial hint, which, when paired with the “Jump” symbolism (”Why do blind people hate skydiving?”), and the theme of CHANGE that I discussed, can pretty much give us a fairly accurate guess in my opinion.

“Could he? Would he? Should we?” Let’s dissect this.

- Could he? Could dennis have what it takes to get over his facade of heterosexuality and admit his love and need for mac (and men) to himself? To even accept and realize what he feels? Possibly. He's afraid of change, but he's also tired, and sleeping with Jackie would prompt him to realize that something is very wrong.

 - Would he? Is he willing do it? to let down his defenses and do it in the open? Say it to him? He's not known for saying things openly, except in desperate times. See Tends Bar. He can't let himself lose Mac.

 - Should we? Should we get together? The very existence of this question implies that the answer of the previous ones are affirmative. So, could he? Yes. Would he? Yes. Should we? For Dennis, yes. He has admitted it to Mac at this point, he feels vulnerable but ready, and hopes that Mac agrees. Mac knows better now, he knows Dennis is desperate, and he's not sure if Dennis just wants to keep his position of power. He needs proof. Commitment. He knows Dennis has never been one for committing, but Mac can't hand him his heart if he's unsure whether it'll get shattered. He needs to know that it'll be safe. Mac is romantic, Mac commits. He needs to know Dennis can do it too. He sees this as just another plan he'd make to keep him, for now. What happens next can be two different things. Either the ONE YEAR is what we have to wait to know what Mac answers. Or it’s what he asks of him as proof of commitment. Wait one year. “If you feel the same way by then, I'll know you meant it, and I'll be ready to give us a try.” Mac loves Dennis, but he also knows him, and he knows himself, that he could never handle his heart being played with. And that he doesn't want to ruin what they have by jumping into things. You see, Dennis is the man that needs to jump, in this arc. He’s the leading man. Mac doesn't have to. Mac is his parachute. And after what just happened, he needs to be able to trust Dennis, just as Dennis needed in Chokes.

So, TGGR has two endings, as I previously discussed. A good one, and a bad one. Supposedly, this is to keep the ending unclear, but knowing what we know, the story we are following is the Charlie and Frank one. Which tells me that, ultimately, it all ends in a YES. They do end up together, even if we get a dubious cliffhanger, on the other side of it is a YES.

That said, since we can safely assume that Big Mo will parallel Jumper, we can also assume that it really doesn’t matter whether the Jumper jumps or not, and actually, the mere application of this algorithm TO the Jumper further confirms my claims, let me explain why. Let me apply it.

First of all, let’s make an assumption that I think we can all agree on. Whenever the gang intervenes, they make things worse. 

Now:

- Could he? die/jump? He could jump, he probably wouldn't die thought. The McPoyle guy didn't. 

- Would he? jump? ...How would the gang know or be able to guess the answer to this question, without interacting with the jumper?

- Should we? Intervene? If they answer yes, he'll jump. If they answer no, he might not. But here’s the catch.

The "should we" question is a question asked to TWO people, hence the "we", so it has two answers. Depending on the person.

And it ultimately doesn't matter which one the jumper will reflect. It’ll probably be a red herring anyway. They likely won’t intervene at all, thus the jumper won’t jump. 

"should we (intervene/get together)? yes" Dennis jumps. It reflects his answer. "should we (intervene/get together)? no(t yet)" Mac doesn't jump. It reflects his.

Obviously we can’t 100% assume that Mac will say no (but he needs to, in order to justify the one year thing), however the theme of change might hit him as well. We know he’s impulsive, the doesn’t think things through. Him waiting would be his change. Not only that, but Dennis getting a no(t yet) would be the most appropriate ending for his arc of taking Mac for granted, AND it would reverse their dynamic, possibly. Plus, karma, which usually gets implemented in stories/arcs, especially so in a series as self aware as IASIP.

Having said ALL of this, I can finally get to the structure itself.

As I said, every episode has a role, and so far that has been the case. So I’m gonna try to compile them, as I think fits, one by one.

I present to you, “The Structure”:

TGGR: Establishing the arc. The meta episode to set the ground rules, to give us the map of what's gonna happen, so that no one is surprised. It tells the audience to pay attention to what they’re about to experience, and not take details for granted. Thundergun: Establishing the conflict. A look at Den's past attractions and his reaction to them in the present. It tells us where he is currently. It tells us the inherent conflict of his real feelings that he has always had vs his resistance to change (symbolized by thundergun itself changing, skillfully enough). Dee Day: Transitional. It solidifies the conflict regarding the relationship itself, not just Dennis’ personal one. It tries to unite the past with the future, but fails because the needs of the arc haven’t been met yet. So it sets up Chokes. Chokes: The first turning point. Mac and Dennis are able to work out their core hang-ups, and realize they are still perfect for each other. First part of the relationship conflict resolution. First acceptance of change: Mac learns to make his own decisions and not follow what Dennis wants. Texts: The second turning point. Mac and Dennis work out their communication problems. Also advancement of the situation of Dennis’ conflict. Mac and Charlie become aware of Den's feelings. This is the second part of the relationship conflict resolution, not yet the ending of it as Dennis’ conflict hasn’t been resolved, thus the relationship conflict can’t yet either. Mops: The aftermath. Now that Charlie is involved, we take a look at his point of view of Mac and Dennis, now that he knows. The conflict between Charlie and Mac+Dennis will likely be established here, as it will start to give the character his motivation for what’s to come all the way to the finale. Either that or it’s breathing room, but I stand by my case that no episode is a filler in this season. Global Warming: Advancement of the conflict of the dynamic between Charlie and Mac+Dennis, and advancement of Dennis’ personal conflict. Charlie, now knowing, is fed up at things not going forward for Mac+Dennis, he was happy at Mac figuring it out, hoping it would lead them to speed things up and stop bothering him with their complex rituals, but they haven’t. He’s annoyed with Mac and Dennis about this whole thing. This is the character motivation that drives him to tell Frank what he knows, possibly in frustration after something that happens in GW. Remember how in The Gang Escapes, Charlie passes the key to Frank, and it’s him who opens the lock. Chop: Confronting the issue, running away from it. This is the start of Dennis’ spiraling because of his conflict, that will lead him to the events of the finale. Frank is paired with Dennis, something truly rare. It's on purpose. He confronts Dennis about his feelings. Dennis denies. Gains a new motivation going forward and into the finale: proving that his denial is actually accurate. Jumper: With his new motivation setting in motion the events that will lead to the finale, he bangs a chick. Trying to prove it further, he thinks of a plan to get Mac off of him for good, thinking that's why people keep believing that he’s gay. Big Mo: Obviously, the finale. The final turning point. Acceptance of change. Resolution of Dennis’ personal conflict. End of the conflict of the dynamic between Charlie and Mac+Dennis, as all the other conflicts have been resolved, so he too is content.

As change is finally accepted, we reach a Point B in the finale, different from the Point A at which we started. Change is effective on Dennis, which now accepts himself fully, and feels ready. Change is effective on Mac, which makes him make his own decisions no matter what Dennis wants, and thus doesn’t jump into the relationship yet.

One year from the finale, season 15. We have a new beginning. It’s unclear whether the year of waiting is supposed to be for the audience or in-universe, so it’s unclear whether in s15 we’ll deal with a reversed dynamic of Dennis yearning and Mac refusing, or if the year passes off screen as we wait, which would imply the promise that S15 starts with canon MacDennis.

Either way, this is my dissection of the season so far, and obviously I might be very wrong, and if I am please don’t kill me, but this is how I think things are going, and how I think things will go.

Feel free to ask me about anything that is unclear, as english isn’t my first language so I might’ve explained something a little roughly. I do look forward to knowing the fandom’s reception to my thoughts, if anyone is brave enough to read all the way through here. And hey, if you did, thank you so so much! I hope you enjoyed it.

kinda ramble-y fic below the cut, includes a metric fuck-ton of angst, macdennis, teen au, drinking, and a Lot of implied abuse/trauma

summary: macs a rebellious 14 year old tht hates the rich, dennis is a dick that really just needs an outlet to share his feelings, theyre sad together

ok no offense but i just...really love the concept of like, teen mac & charlie crashing house parties. them sneaking out of the house together and their late night adventures quickly becoming a blur of adrenaline and laughter as they jus show up at random parties someone down the street is throwing. they show up undetected at the peak of the utter chaos that is teen rebellion, take a shitload of booze, and then ditch just as fast. they go by the train tracks after and get wasted together, drowning out the deafening reality that is their parents dont care enough to notice theyre not at home every night & that life isnt going so well. and for once they can be happy in each others company and have a taste of a childhood they deserved, even if they can only find it at the bottom of a bottle

one night mac goes off by himself, probably because charlie just hasnt been as up to going out. mac has no clue why, the only things charlie’s been sputtering about between drinks every night is his ‘son of a bitch of an uncle’ who moved back in recently. mac doesnt understand and charlie wont give him what he needs to understand it. so mac gives it no second thought. he spots this absolutely huge house in the suburbs. hes never seen something with architecture like this and hell sure as hell never understand how someone can afford so much room, or what its even used for. the yard is donned with blacked out kids he knows from his classes, and the inside of the house is filled with the melody of drunk kids slurring and laughing to party songs.

he decides this is it-this is the one place hell allow himself to go without his best friend. and hell definitely save booze for him. and he wont allow himself to feel guilty for it, he never does anything for himself anyways. he strides in with a nonchalant facade and his best ‘yes-i-definitely-belong-here’ smile from cheek to cheek, waving at classmates that never noticed him before and definitely wont now. which is the only advantage that comes from being the rat, one of the sore losers in the bullshit hierarchy that is high school popularity. nobody will notice when youre taking something right infront of them.

he makes it to the kitchen and finally pieces together who lives here-its the piece of shit he has half his classes with, the word snob as a person, someone he cant help but loathe for his gross elitism. its dennis reynolds. some kid thats really full of himself, someone who helped trademark ‘the rat’ and laughs at mac while hes down. he didnt really mind, its not like he was bullying charlie, and he was strong enough to take the half-assed insults this guy threw at him. it wasnt a big deal.

but here, now-he found dennis in the midst of his own party, alone in the kitchen, half-empty bottle of tequila in tow, and what looked like mascara trailing from his eyes. what a pussy is what he was about to say, but something stopped him. dennis looked at the other boy looming over him and flinched, covering his face instantly. mac was confused, what the hell was he doing that for? when dennis realized he was fine, he instantly tried to revert back to his cool guy defense mode. something compelled mac to crouch down next to him because, well geez, the poor kid was a mess.. and he felt like it humanized him. the urge to steal his things for a taste of a life he never had slowly died down as he said hello to the gracious party host himself. “why-are-you-here”s  were spit out instantly, because dennis didn’t remember inviting some dirty street rat to his party. mac gave a really half-assed excuse, which was all he needed to convince dennis he was supposed to be here, considering all his thoughts were mush from how out of it he was-he never had the opportunity to drink this much on account of his sister beating him to it, or his mom emptying everything after heated arguments with his dad. and although it annoyed him when she was drunk, it was better than falling asleep to the melody of fighting and the threat of an impending divorce.

but anyways, now mac is lost in his eyes and they’re both half a bottle of tequila down, and he isnt sure if hes holding his hand or just dreaming it. and oh god, his eyes are so beautiful and his lips are coated with strawberry chapstick and he wants to kiss them so bad, he wants to keep holding his hand for all of eternity but at the same time he wants to hold his face in his hands and wow he wants to kiss him so bad and to taste the strawberry chapstick and god, hes infatuated. he wants to wipe his tears away and to kiss his rosy cheeks and run his hands through his hair, so bad. and it hits him that hes too deep, what would charlie think of this? falling for the enemy? fuck. but that doesnt matter because all that matters now is the fact hes really hand in hand with someone hes fallen in love with, and all it took was talk of trauma and a bottle of tequila.

theyre no longer on the kitchen floor as theyre giggling hand in hand stumbling up the stairs, leaning on each other and shushing one another as they laugh too hard to smile right and their cheeks are flush and they arent sure if its the drinking or their company. theyre trying to be quiet as they close the door to the twins’ room and dennis tries to lock it with a shaky hand. mac watches him in utter jaw-dropping awe, feeling butterflies fill his stomach and suffocating any insecurity hed ever felt before. this was new to him. but dennis felt it even stronger. hed spent so long building up a wall, hed spent so long listening to his mothers vodka-fueled lectures about never letting yourself fall in love. barbara made him promise hed never do that to himself, it hurt too much she told him. but now he was sitting on the top bunk of his bed with what seemed to be the boy of his dreams, he didnt know he could ever feel this way or honestly feel anything at all, and he was too drunk to feel guilty for it.

hours pass and now mac is laying on his bare chest. dennis has his hands intertwined in his hair and hes taken away by how soft it is when he strokes it. macs never felt a wave of clarity envelop him so softly before. hes at peace. all the droning hum of party music is drowned out. all he can hear is the soft rhythm of their hearts and their cautious breathing, both scared that this still might not be real. macs heart flutters when he realizes dennis’ breathing gets faster as he moves his hand across his chest, and he looks up with half-slit puppy dog eyes that dennis is absolutely in love with. mac opens his mouth to speak, but changes his mind. he doesnt wanna jinx it, hes so scared he wont be able to impress cool kid dennis reynolds, and he doesnt wanna do anything to change this moment. he plays it safe. as he snuggles closer, dennis holds him and macs face is the warmest its ever been, and he buries it in the other boys chest. he doesnt know how to react to this, hes never known how to react to anything but especially nothing like this. his face is even warmer than macs and hes trying so hard to not let him know that he likes him because thats something his mom would be ashamed of. mac falls asleep on his chest, and dennis cant stop playing with his hair.

dennis wakes him up because he knows everything would be ruined if anyone found them together, especially his sister. god knows what she would do. and dennis tries to tell him he should leave, but the words choke him too much to come out when he sees macs adorable face glance up at him. and hes just too shy to say a word.

the next thing they know, dennis pulls him closer and theyre both kissing for the first time, and mac feels wrong. he wants to push him away and he knows he should feel absolutely horrible, he knows god would be disappointed in something like this and hes terrified of the consequences hell get. but he pushes the thoughts away and succumbs to the warmth that surrounds his body. dennis is holding him so gently and neither want to ever move again, and something compels them to stay together. the kiss is only broken by dennis’ nervous laughter, and a smile that he cant hide. and when the boys recollect themselves they start kissing again. they never went further than that, partially because they couldnt get it up this drunk and partially because they were too scared to ruin it, but it was still nice to fall asleep side by side, even if they didnt mean to

mac wakes up to the soft golden smile of the suns rays against the bed, and he vaguely remembers last night. panic sets in like it never has before. hes never stayed somewhere else this late before. what if charlie’s looking for him. what if whoever hes with didnt lock the door and someone saw him. and then he remembers who hes with, and hes terrified. what the hell did he do? he feels tears of shame well up because he knows hes a sinner in gods eyes and hes made the biggest mistake of his life, and oh fuck when he tried to get out from under the covers he woke dennis up. he isnt even half as shocked as mac is, hes calm. hes happy. hes never woke up so peacefully before, and hes grinning. he tries to tell mac good morning but hes rambling under his breath about how wrong this is and hes going to hell, and dennis takes that as a sign he shouldve taken his mothers advice. hes utterly crushed.

mac doesnt even apologize as he leaves, he slips on his boots and gets out as soon as he can despite the wavering tone in dennis’ protests and pleads to stay. he forgets his jacket during the rush. he leaves dennis confused and more scared of opening up than hes ever been, and he doesnt know how to deal with his feelings anymore. mac tries to forget everything. he never tells charlie. he doesnt ever want to look dennis in the eyes again. he never wants to feel that way again, because he went from feeling on top of the world to being ashamed and thinking he knows its wrong. he doesnt tell anyone.