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whateverloomis · 10 hours

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I just came up with a good idea for a prompt. So basically #5 on the list but maybe make it a vampire AU?

Essentially everything’s the same with Billy and Stu but the only difference is they are both vampires. Like a vampire Ghostface 👀

And only because I enjoy it, extra bloody 🩸

Anon, this idea is crazy and I absolutely love it. Buckle up because this one is a wild ride 😈

Prompt: "Is that... Blood?"

Warnings: Reader has pre-determined clothing, reader has pre-determined desires and likings, AFAB reader, SMUT, period sex, BLOOD, and lot's of it, lot's of juicy plot, teasing, vampire bites, infidelity, making out, some Stully action, unedited. If I missed anything else lmk!

Reader: They/them pronouns (highlighted in bold,) AFAB

Word count: 5k (I went insane with this one, okay?)

It was bad enough with Casey Becker and Steve Orth getting murdered, now there's reports of people disappearing and found dead, bitten in multiple parts of their bodies and completely drained.

The police says that the bite marks weren't big enough to fit the description of maybe a bear or wolf. Neither of those animals drain the blood out of their pray either, which automatically discards them from the suspected killer creature. The case was more complicated than it sounded. It wasn't as simple as to pin it on a random animal and call it a day, those were serious murders and the amount of people that were disappearing from Woodsboro was alarming.

Some people started speculating and coming up with crazy theories. Sending in reports with the descriptions of some kind of a specific white mask that looked like a ghost, but it was decorated with fangs in it's mouth. There were also reports of two individuals spotted running around fields at unnatural speeds.

It was easy to come up with those kinds of things. People were desperate for an answer. Losing a loved one and knowing that others were at risk was terrifying. It was understandable, but complete insanity at the same time. The town seemed to be going collectively crazy.

"What if there are vampires out there... It sounds crazy but there have been reports of very similar cases in many other places outside of Woodsboro." Tatum questioned, that time around sounding more serious than previous. Randy scoffed at her comment and stood up. It looked like he was going to tell a speech or something.

"Listen, this started off as a typical slasher movie and now we're mixing Dracula with it? C'mon guys! It doesn't make sense! It's like believing aliens exist or something-" - "Aliens do exist man, I saw a UFO once. It was insane." Stu added and Randy looked at him in disbelief of his stupidity level. "This isn't a game, Stu. I bet you were high as fuck when you saw it." - "Correction, I was drunk, therefore no hallucinating was involved. It was definitely a UFO." Stu said, 100% convinced.

"I believe you, Stu." you answered and Stu pointed at you. "Hah, see?!" Stu said excitedly and you laughed softly, clearly leading the boy on to mess with Randy.

"YN, you're not helping my case here." Randy said and you shrugged, rolling your eyes playfully. "Listen, going back to the main topic here. These murders are definitely strange. Bite marks? And they don't even seem like it was an animal that made them? Something's off." You said, "Plus it'd be kinda hot to have vamps running around." you continued. "I second that." Tatum said with a smirk on her face.

Billy and Stu looked at each other, devious smiles on their faces that only you saw. Billy quickly shot a glare at you and you looked away, sudden goosbumps taking over your body.

"You're insane. If you guys want to be delusional and believe that nonsense go ahead, but there's a logical explanation to this. I just need more time to figure it out." Randy said and Billy sighed, annoyed at the boys rambling. "That's nice and all, but I have a class to attend." - "Billy, you're like 15 minutes late." Sidney said, slightly concerned at his carelessness. He looked at her and gave her a quick kiss, reassuring her that it's not a big deal.

You felt a pang of jealousy at the sight.

Billy's a player. He had been cheating on Sidney for months with you and he even told you that he didn't have feelings for Sidney anymore. He admitted that he was developing feelings for you and you were definitely falling for him too, but it was complicated. Billy kept telling you he couldn't break it off with Sid because she was hurt and vulnerable because of her mother's death. That he needed to find the right time, but it was starting to affect you emotionally. The pain was overwhelming at times and Billy had promised you he wouldn't display any form of affection towards Sidney in front of you. That promise was broken. He walked past you and gave you a loving stare. Despite the hurt you couldn't help but feel the overwhelming love that radiated from him.

Then there was Stu. You also had a relationship with him behind Tatum's back. She had dated your ex for a while after he cheated on you and broke your heart, so you hooked up with Stu as revenge, but things escalated and even if the feelings weren't nearly as strong as they were for Billy there was definitely something developing.

All three of you knew about each other and it had slowly become a triangle. It was a complicated mess, but it was yours and you didn't plan on breaking it off any time soon.

The boys didn't display any kind of behavior that revealed their truth. That revealed that they were vampires. They had been feeding non-stop, (hence the multiple murders,) to keep themselves calm and collected around you. It was very difficult at times, though. You smelled so sweet and they had been tempted multiple times to taste you. Relish in your sweet blood and make you theirs forever. It consumed them at times, but they couldn't ruin your life like that. Having eternal life wasn't a choice for both of them and it was difficult at times to process that reality. They didn't want to do anything to hurt you, yet they needed you. It was painful. It was torture.

•

"He broke a promise Stu, a promise is a promise." you explained as the boy listened carefully. As you spoke about how hurt you were about Billy kissing Sidney in front of you, Stu was trying to figure out how to comfort you without exposing his and Billy's plan about killing Sidney Prescott, and much less them being vampires.

"I understand that you're upset baby but you know he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt you. He loves you, YN." - "I just don't understand why he can't break it off with Sidney already. They're nothing at this point." You replied instantly and Stu sighed, seeming defeated. "It's a complicated subject YN, you know this. I can't speak for Billy, but I can guarantee that he's handling this the right way. The kiss was clearly to calm her down and not have her after his ass bitching about being 15 minutes late to class. You know how it is, hm?" He said as he scanned your face. You looked at his blue eyes and couldn't help but get lost in them. It was as if there was some kind of force convincing you that you were overreacting. That you needed to be patient, even if you had been feeling it decrease rapidly.

"You're right." The words slipped right out of your mouth, almost as if you didn't even think about saying them. You just spoke. "I know he wouldn't hurt me on purpose I just..." You stopped yourself. You felt greediness consume you. Felt selfish about what you wanted to admit to your boyfriend, but you needed to let it out. "C'mon babe, you can talk to me." Stu said, his voice soft despite his usual goofy nature. "I just want him to myself already. Sidney doesn't deserve him, all she does is bitch at him over her mother and think about herself. I think about him. Care about him. About you. About us." You said and tried your hardest to keep the tears from falling out of your eyes. You hated how vulnerable you were at the moment, but you also knew Stu was there for you. He loved you even if you had a completely different relationship with him.

Stu let out a breathy laugh and cupped your face. He gave you a lingering kiss and ran his hand down your arm soothingly. "You have us, YN. Stop worrying so much. Everything will fall in place sooner than you think." He reassured and you smiled at him softly. Despite him being an ass and goof ball, Stu was easy to talk to and so magnetic. You couldn't get enough of him. "Now c'mon, let's go meet up with Randy and Tatum, we don't want them thinking we were making out or something." He said suggestively, a smirk adorning his face. You rolled your eyes playfully and smacked his arm, "Later, I'm still sad." - "Ugh, fine." Stu replied and walked away with you, spanking your ass along the way.

•

After having an impromptu hang out at the mall with Stu, Tatum and Randy that day, you felt a bit better about the incident with Billy. It was only a temporary fix that lasted until you got to your dorm though.

After a few hours of trying to distract yourself with assignments and reading, your emotions started to consume you once more. You sat on your bed with a few movie tapes in your hands to choose from, and of course they were horror movies. They provided a strange sense of comfort and also reminded you of Billy and all those nights you watched scary movies those first few days of your relationship, ending up tangled between the sheets. You couldn't get enough of each other.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't realize Billy was knocking on your window. You looked at him in surprise and set the tapes down on your dresser before opening the window for him.

"Hey." He whispered before letting himself in. You closed the window and shut the curtains before turning around to face him. "What are you doing here?" You asked firmly and Billy gave you a confused look. "What am I... What's wrong?" He asked, immediately sensing that you were upset. "You know what's wrong." You said and walked past him. Billy followed you with his eyes, your delicious scent hitting his nose immediately. You were fertil and he knew it was going to be difficult to pay attention to your words, but he had to try. For you. For your relationship. "I don't, can you explain what happened? Please?" He asked, fully attentive. You sat on the edge of the bed and he followed your actions, sitting next to you. His thigh touched yours and he was searching for your eyes desperately.

"You kissed Sidney in front of me today." You explained and looked at him seriously. Billy widened his eyes, concern written all over his face. "Fuck... Baby, I'm. I didn't realize, I wasn't thinking ab-" - "Yeah, exactly. That's the problem. You weren't thinking about it." You interrupted and stood up, facing him. "Do you even care about the things that I say to you? It was a simple request. You said it wouldn't be complicated yet you-" You stopped yourself, exhaling to try and calm yourself. Your heart rate was accelerating and Billy could hear the blood pumping in your veins. His pupils dilated slightly at the realization but he couldn't let himself act on any urges. He had to stay focused. "YN, please. You're the only person I care about. Your words are the only ones that matter to me-" - "Well you sure aren't acting like it, Loomis. It sure seemed like you wanted to kiss h-" - "Don't go there." Billy interrupted, sudden anger taking over him. "I love you and only you. I only want you. I just have to keep Sidney in the loop a bit longer, and I didn't want her on my case s-" - "So you used it as a distraction. Yeah, Stu explained it to me." You finished his sentence and he bit his lip in thought. "You went to Stu about this?" He asked, you couldn't detect any emotions coming from him along with the question. "Yes. I was upset and angry. I didn't want to talk to you because I knew I'd end up arguing, which would've made this whole situation worse." Billy nodded and stood up, towering over you. "I'm sorry baby, it won't happen again." He said softly and placed his hand on your cheek. "You have every right to be mad, and if you need space I understand completely, just tell me what you need, okay? I can't stand knowing that you're mad at me." he continued and placed his hand on your neck, running his thumb over your pulse point. He felt the throb of your vein and closed his eyes to contain himself before moving his hand down your arm. "I don't need space, Billy. I need you to keep your promises. I need you to show me that you really care." You said and he exhaled softly. "I do care," the boy paused and sat down on the edge of your bed again, pulling you towards him. "And i'll make it up to you, okay?" He continued and pulled you, sitting you on his lap. "I'll even go to Stu's stupid party tomorrow, and when everyone leaves it'll be just us three, nobody else." Billy finished and kissed your nose. You couldn't help but smile and kiss his lips softly. It had been a while since the three of you spent time together with nobody else around. You missed it. Missed them. "Okay, deal." You whispered before kissing him again, prolonging it.

Billy felt like he was gonna go insane with you on his lap, kissing him like you were. You tasted so sweet on his tongue, your touch felt electric and he swore that he could've came just by you grinding against his hard cock. He had to feed or else he was going to hurt you.

As much as he wanted to fuck you and devour you, Billy had to control himself. He came up with a cheap excuse to leave your room that night and fed on one of the girls from your dorm. The poor woman was walking towards the building alone, and Billy launched at her. He practically dragged her to the back of the building and pinned her against the wall, brutally biting her neck with his sharp K9s, drinking her dry in a matter of minutes. The last thing she saw was a white ghost face mask with fangs before he left her there. Another corpse to be found the next day that was sure to create more drama in the news.

•

"Samantha?! I literally saw her that night before she left to the drive in." You told Tatum who broke the news about another one of the many bodies that were found drained that weekend. You remembered that Billy left at around the same hour the incident happened. You thought maybe he had seen something. That he could provide some useful information so you met Billy at the benches behind the college campus, which was very secluded and gave him a soft smile when you saw him walking towards you. "Hey." You said, your tone soft and sweet. Billy smirked at you and placed his hand on your hip, "Hey baby." he greeted and kissed you tenderly. "Did you hear about Samantha?" You asked him, worry coating your words. Billy visibly stiffed but kept his cool with his facial expressions. "No, what happened?" He asked, expertly pretending that he was clueless. "She got killed the same day you came over to talk... I was just wondering if you saw something when you left. We weren't friends or anything but... Billy, I'm kinda scared." You admitted and he frowned, pulling you into a comforting hug. If only you knew he was trying to keep you safe. To keep you alive and well. To keep your love for each other growing. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, you hear me? Nothing." He said firmly. You pulled away and looked at his eyes. He was dead serious and you immediately felt comfort. You knew Billy would do anything for you, just like you would do anything for him. You thought back to that night when he suggested you guys staying over at Stu's, and with the incident it seemed like it was the best option for everyone.

"Awh, look at you love birds." Stu said walking towards you guys. "Keep it down, would you?" Billy said, annoyed at his friend being so verbally open. "Oh c'mon, it's just us here, lighten up." Stu replied and hugged you from behind. You looked at him over your shoulder and he kissed you. "That's my baby." He cood and you couldn't help but giggle at his words. Billy stood there in front of you guys, his eyes roaming your body and observing how you behaved with Stu. He couldn't deny that he liked seeing you two being so affectionate with each other. "You want a kiss too?" Stu asked Billy teasingly and the boy rolled his eyes, annoyance written on his face. "Take a hike." he said and Stu laughed. "I love you too."

You laughed at their interaction. Stu was undeniably attracted to Billy but the boy was hard to read. Your relationship kept growing by the minute and you wouldn't be surprised if they ended up having some kind of dynamic in the future.

"You guys coming to my fiesta tonight?" Stu asked and Billy raised at eyebrow. "Yeah, we're staying over." He said, pointing at you and then at himself. Inviting you without a care. "Well shit, okay." Stu said teasingly, releasing a breathy laugh. Billy smirked then looked at you. Tension was surrounding the air around you and you blushed as a consequence.

•

Stu's house was packed. There were people you didn't even recognize hanging out and you were determined to go to the pool to avoid as many people as you could.

As you approached the back doors that lead to your desired destination, Tatum, Stu and Sidney were already in the pool, close to the steps. Stu and Tatum were in the water trying to convince Sidney to get all the way in as she complained about it being too cold.

"Mind if I join?" You asked, already taking your cover up dress off. You had a blood red colored bikini on that hugged your body perfectly. Your tits were on display, the slightest bit of under boob was visible and the cheeky bottoms made your ass pop out.

"Looking hot YN, you're gonna have to tell me where you got that bikini later." Tatum said, a genuine smile on her face. Despite her dirty move with your ex she was an honest girlie, which you appreciated despite your resentment. "You've got that right babe." Stu answered and stuck his tongue out. Tatum rolled her eyes playfully, not knowing that her boyfriend's usual flirting wasn't casual in the slightest.

You dipped your toes and widened your eyes. "What the fuck guys, the water is cold." you agreed with Sidney and sat next to her, trying to get half of your body used to the temperature first. "Oh c'mon guys! Get in!" Tatum shouted and pulled Sidney by her legs, the girl releasing a yelp before sliding all the way in the pool. Stu walked towards you and picked you up by the waist and over his shoulder, walking deeper into the water. "No! Stop it!" You said playfully and Stu released you, the cool water hugged your body and the shock of temperature felt good in a torturous way. As you floated up, you took a deep breath and hit Stu on his bicep playfully. "Asshole." - "Oh don't be a cry baby." He said and you rolled your eyes. "Hey, where's Billy?" You whispered at the boy and he smirked at you, "Mmm you want him to see you in this little bikini of yours?" Stu replied teasingly and played with the straps of your top. You smiled teasingly and flicked his hand. "Relax, he's getting us some beer from the garage."

A few minutes later Billy walked out with a six pack in his hands. "There's my booyy, and he brought just enough for everyone." Stu cheered and winked at you. The girls walked out to grab their drinks and you followed them. "Can you get me mine babe?" Stu asked, staying behind. "Seriously?" - "C'mooon" He begged, and you couldn't deny him when he was being that cute and whiny.

The girls grabbed their bottles first and you followed second. Walking towards Billy you smirked at him as he shamelessly looked at you from head to toe. "Fuck, baby... Are you trying to kill me tonight?" He whispered and you let out a breathy laugh. "Mm, who knows? Maybe I'm the vampire." You said teasingly and Billy laughed at your dark comment. You winked at him before grabbing two beer bottles and approached the edge of the pool where Stu was. You sat on the floor, dipping your feet in. The boy grabbed the bottle from your hands and took a swing.

Suddenly, he got the sweetest smell from you. A faint musk to it as well. He looked at Billy to see if he also detected it but the boy was making small talk with Tatum and Sidney.

"So, is Randy around?" You asked Stu and he shook his head slightly before taking another swing of his beer to ground himself. "Yeah, he's inside watch..." he suddenly stopped talking and looked between your legs. A small amount of blood and water pooled between them. "Is that... Blood?" Stu asked, his pupils dilated slowly. "What... Oh my God..." You looked between your legs. You got your period early. "Fuck..." You whispered and moved subtly reaching for the towel on the chair behind you. Stu felt like he was getting intoxicated by your delicious aroma. He felt his fangs starting to grow and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to control himself. Luckily, you picked up the towel in time to wrap it around you and excuse yourself.

Stu made eye contact with Billy. He also knew. When you walked past him his pupils started to dilate as well, but he had much more control than Stu when it came to the urge of tasting you. Billy made his way to Stu and crouched down in front of him. "Get ahold of yourself, we can't risk getting caught, you understand?" He whispered, aggression lacing his words. Stu sighed and looked up in defeat. "Man, how the fuck are we gonna be able to resist if they're going to sleep over tonight?" Stu asked, desperation slowly overwhelming him. "We'll figure it out later, okay? Just keep it in your pants for now." Billy replied and glared at him before stepping inside the house to make sure you were okay.

•

You stepped out of the shower after excusing yourself for the rest of the party. Billy was constantly checking up on you until everyone left and all three of you were finally alone.

You put on leak safe underwear since you preferred to free bleed, and one of Stu's sweaters which covered your body perfectly, given your size difference.

When everyone finally left the house, you went down stairs to look for the boys and help clean up the after party mess. To your surprise, Billy and Stu had taken care of everything. You wondered how long it took them to finish everything, it hadn't been long since you heard the music stop playing and the sweet silence of the absence of the herd of people that were drowning the house.

In the kitchen, Billy and Stu were talking quietly. You couldn't make out a single word they were saying, so you assumed they thought you were fast asleep and didn't want to wake you up.

You barely took a few steps in the room and their eyes were already on you. They seemed darker than usual.

"Hey baby, how you feeling?" Billy was the first to speak. He walked towards you slowly and placed his hand on your cheek. "I'm fine, I just didn't want to be around people." You answered.

The vibes were off. The boys were strangely quiet and mellow. Their gazes were intense and their eyes didn't look the same as they usually did. They were scanning your body like hungry animals and you were starting to get a little bit freaked out.

"Why is everyone acting weird? I just got my period a day early, it's not a big deal. Seriously." You said, starting to get kind of annoyed at their strange behavior and lack of words.

"You see, that's what you don't understand YN, it is a big deal." Stu said and started to move towards you almost as if he were hunting a prey. "Stu." Billy said in a warning tone.

You took a step back and swallowed thickly. Your breathing picked up.

"You smell so sweet and it's driving me insane." Stu said and you gave him a confused stare. What did he mean by that? "And you know what? I don't care anymore." He continued and his eyes turned completely black. You gasped at the sight. Confusion was the only thing going through your head. Fear, but intrigue at the same time. Stu bit his lower lip before smiling, and there it was. Fangs. "What the fu-" you attempted to run but Billy held you from behind, moving you quickly so you ended up behind him. He was shielding you with his large frame. "Stu, for the love of fuck, get ahold of yourself!" the boy said and you held his arm from behind. "Does he want to kill me?" You asked and he turned around quickly. Stu seemed to calm down when he heard your words. "No baby, we would never hurt you. He just-" Billy paused and looked at Stu over his shoulder before meeting your eyes. "Wants to taste you... Your blood." You looked at him with curiosity in your eyes. What would it be like to be bitten by a vampire? "Would you guys... Kill me if I let you?" You asked and Billy's pupils instantly dilated, his eyes turning completely black just like Stu's. The fear you felt mixed with excitement. You felt an energy shift with them like this. Wild and ready to pounce. It was risky. It was crazy, and you wanted it.

"Taste me." You said, and that was it.

Stu walked towards you and picked you up, his big hands around your waist. He sat you on the counter and stood between your legs. He could smell your arousal mixed with the blood between your legs and groaned. "Finally." He whispered and moved your head to the side softly. You bit your lip and prepared for the unknown pain you were about to experience.

Stu licked and kissed your neck a few times before digging his fangs in your flesh. You released a high pitched moan. The pain was pleasurable. You felt your blood run down your neck and over your chest.

Billy was leaning against the counter close to the both of you. A smirk on his face and his cock impossibly hard against his jeans. The sight of Stu savoring you excited him more than he thought it would. He bit his lip and hissed, his fangs fully displayed with the action.

Stu took the sweater off your body, exposing your bloody tits to both of them and Billy couldn't take it anymore. He walked towards you and Stu moved to the side, opening your legs more so Billy could be in front of you as well. He took another bite below Stu's mark and groaned at your taste. He licked the stripe of blood that ran down your chest and moaned. Stu joined him and lapped at the fluid as well. Their tongues touched occasionally against your skin and you were going insane. You moaned and whined at the sight of your vampire boyfriends tasting you.

Billy desperately took your underwear off and tossed them somewhere on the kitchen floor. He inhaled sharply and moaned at your scent. Stu slid down between your legs under Billy and licked your bloody cunt. Billy kissed you desperately as the boy between your legs moaned against your center.

You were tasting yourself on Billy's tongue, a metallic and somewhat sweet flavor palette. You were so turned on that you didn't even care about the fact that you were practically consuming your own blood from your boyfriends mouth.

Stu dipped his long tongue inside you and you arched your back at the feeling. Billy couldn't handle not being between your legs eating you up so he slid down your body and positioned himself next to Stu. They both licked your clit and savored your cunt like it was their last meal. The sight of them touching tongues while pleasuring you was enough to send you over the edge. You came the hardest you've ever experienced. The wave of pleasure was so overwhelming that another mini orgasm washed over your body right after. You were practically screaming at that point but they weren't done with you yet.

Both of them stood up and pulled you down from the counter by your legs. You crashed against Billy and he pinned you against the fridge. He kissed you with passion and rubbed your clit a few times before finger fucking you. "Fuck, fuck... Please! Just fuck me already!" You moaned and he unbuttoned his jeans quickly, picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his torso and he spun around, leaning against the fridge. You felt Stu grab your waist to keep you steady while he unbuttoned his pants. Suddenly, Billy slipped inside you all the way in. The lubrication your blood provided created the perfect slide and the pleasure was intense as well. Billy started thrusting at a steady pace and moaned in your ear while he held you close.

Stu inserted his cock inside you a few minutes later after making sure you were stretched enough for him. Your boyfriends filled your hole deliciously and your moans filled the room. There was blood and arousal running down your thighs. You were a mess and felt like you were going to pass out any moment from the loss of blood and the intense pleasure you were receiving.

Billy and Stu lapped at the blood dripping down from your neck once again and moaned in unison. They couldn't handle it anymore and came inside you, filling you up with their seed. They rode their highs inside you before pulling out. Stu released you and you leaned against Billy.

"You okay?" Billy asked, his voice husky against your ear. You let out a breathy laugh and bit your lower lip. "I need a shower" You replied, energy drained from your body.

"Let's go." Billy whispered and Stu carried you up the stairs.

#billy loomis smut #billy loomis x you #scream (1996)#billy loomis x reader #ghostface smut #ghostface x reader #ghostfacesmut #stu macher smut #stu macher x billy loomis #stu matcher x reader

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emmyspov · 1 year

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I just sorted everything away from this semester and also obviously stumbled across my notes and ideas for my journal article and like- it's such a bittersweet thing.

I would have loved to do this, would have loved to do more research on EDs and advocate on the topic from an academic pov and maybe make the world a tiny tiny bit better, but I am so glad that i do not have to - I don't have to worry about all this extra work and stress on top of my studies and my job.

But it also makes me so sad because I remember my very first semester at university and how excited I was. God I would have given everything to be successful and make a career here - and I did give everything. And now, 3.5 years later, I see what that did to me and I just wish that no one ever puts their job or their studies or anything really above themselves. Which is so hard in our societies nowadays, I know that, too.

And sometimes I think I should have just pushed through. What's one and a half more years? Maybe I could have done it, just to make a difference. But then I remember Gandalf's quote in the hobbit

I have found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love.

So maybe, just maybe, I don't have to work until utter exhaustion to be good and helpful. Maybe, just being kind is enough. And that thought is a lot more comforting than me thinking I have to achieve something great in order to be worth it.

#i'm sorry it's late #and i have been thinking a lot about my relationship with studying and my productivity #maybe there isn't even a point in all of this rambling #but maybe some kid reads this & takes it to heart when i say you're more than your grades or your job or your productivity #you're your favourite book or film or band #and how you treat your friends #and the stranger next to you on the bus #you're your favorite memories #and your favourite places #as taylor swift said #i wanna be defined by the things i love #not the things i'm afraid of #not the things that.. haunt me in the middle of the night #you are what you love <3 #okay emmy shut tf up

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alfhildr-the-word-weaver · 16 days

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I was thinking about how a lot of people who are into the Vampire Diaries are also into Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and how there are some obvious parallels between the shows and between the relationships of Angel & Buffy and Stefan & Elena and then Spike & Buffy and Damon & Elena, but obviously they aren't exactly the same ships or characters, and it's made me curious. Fans of both, is there a correlation in what you ship?

#the Vampire Diaries #Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Bangel #Spuffy #Stelena #Delena #Spangel #Denzo #I also thought about putting “witches rule and Tillow and Bamon are superior” as an option but those don't feel as parallel #Tillow and Bonora maybe but Nora isn't quite as significant to TVD and Bonora suffers from being an obvious rebound #I also learned you can't drag poll options around to reorder them sadly #but the good news is you can have more than 10 choices now #yeah I'm really curious because I feel like there's a correlation in what gifs I see people reblogging but I don't know how strong it'll be #oh I should tag the characters too #Buffy Summers #Spike #William Pratt #Angel #does Liam have a last name I don't remember #Elena Gilbert #Damon Salvatore #Stefan Salvatore #Enzo St. John #Spuffel #is there a poly ship name for a stelena/delena ot3?#anyways. unleash the shipping discourse. I'm bracing myself. lol #I have my opinions but I think they're mostly on my sideblog these days #but yeah. please reblog for data points and all that #i ramble #even in the tags i ramble

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averlym · 9 months

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a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success

so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"

#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's #suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn #tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious #' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend #ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself #he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end #it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes #going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee #ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come #to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the #suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things #it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf #<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye #first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course

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rexcaliburechoes · 1 year

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diamant’s framing in his supports // literally no one asked

there’s something here with diamant and how he’s framed in his supports with various characters, based on this post talking about the red stripe in his hair being an “imperfection“. i wanted to see if, in his supports, his framing showing/hiding the red stripe in his hair signified anything regarding how genuine he is, his intentions, etc.

so, like any sane person, i sat and obsessively watched collector togami’s video on all of his supports and made a ranking list.

this isn’t comprehensive, and you could argue some of these conversations have more/less framing of his left/right side than i’ve put here, but a lot of his supports have him framed on his right side, especially citrinne’s support. he talks specifically talking about the brodian nobility, and it’s only when he’s talking to her and apologises for the mess (showing his true intent, if you will, compared to saying what others want to hear, to so speak) where he’s framed on his left.

you’d think alfred’s support is a little odd, but if you think about the fact that brodia has a non-aggression pact with brodia (and thus, should be more friendly compared to solm, of which is in direct geographical opposition to brodia) and elusia (literally waging wars on elusia), it makes a lot of sense that he would be less guarded, so to speak, around alfred. it helps that alfred’s design is more... triangle-y than the others, which i want to bring in a connection about how triangles are the strongest shape... (yes i know i’m not good at character design don’t @ me lmao). also alfred, in general, just Is Like That in getting people to lower their guards around him, so it sort of tracks.

what’s incredibly interesting to me is that, in his ivy c-support, he’s framed with his left side to the camera, and yet his face is hidden from view when he tells ivy that “it’s okay if you don’t want the courage talisman rock thing i’m gifting you” where, throughout the rest of the conversation he’s been rather chill talking with ivy and 100% empathises with the whole “i have to keep appearances for my country“ thing. later, when he talks about how “ivy doesn’t owe him anything because brodia has a lot to answer for“, he’s fully facing the camera and you get a better glimpse of the red streak in his hair.

what’s also veeeeeery interesting is his b-support with alcryst; throughout the entire conversation, he’s been winded from practicing with mages and alcryst comes up and talked to him, freaks out a little, and then diamant finally tells him “hey so uh. i might be afraid of mages“ but ends up concluding the conversation of “it’s fine tho don’t worry abt it :)“ and just fucks off to go back to talk with the mages. we see his model turn around so that his left side flashes past the camera as he walks away. otherwise, he’s framed to his right facing the camera at all times

in his conversation with framme, the camera does this neat thing where, when he talks about his brodian ancestors and the founding of brodia, it suddenly cuts to framing him on his right side where the camera had solely been focused on his left, showing off the red streak in his hair. when he talks openly about the warmongering of brodia against elusia, he’s framed with his left side by the camera. pretty neat, eh?

also, because of his saying “let’s just call [my study habits] good enough“, i’d like to headcanon him as kind of a bad student, or at least one that doesn’t have study skills come to him easily. he definitely drilled himself in “normal“ ways of studying, but because it just... doesn’t click as well for him as it probably should, he considers himself “pretty good“ or “good enough“.

his s-support with alear is also pretty neat in that when he walks into frame, you only see his right side when he asks “is this a good time to talk?“, but then the camera switches so you see his left side through the rest of his conversation with alear. in his cg, the red streak in his hair is more vibrant than any other piece of official art we’ve been given of him in promotional material, but it’s still not very obvious.

so what does this say about diamant’s intentions? well, i’d like to say that he does try to be genuine/unguarded. in very support we see the red stripe in his hair in plain view at least once. in some supports it’s more obviously showcased than others. even in veyle’s support chain, he’s framed facing the camera head on, even if he’s not being fully unguarded, so you get to see a lot more of the red stripe. he’s letting his guard down, as much as he allows himself to.

but overall, he’s a really guarded person. he doesn’t tend to let others in aside from alear (who is the divine dragon and also technically his commanding officer and also Literally God) and alfred (who just has this way to get others to lower their guard, or at least, throws others who do have their guard up for a loop when he’s so darn genuine all the time). it makse sense given his archetypes, but it’s interesting in how the camerawork reinforces this.

it’s a little sad, though, that he doesn’t let his guard down around alcryst very much, if we take this interpretation as how his relationships with other people go...

#fire emblem #fire emblem engage #fe engage #diamant #diamant fire emblem #fire emblem diamant #diamant fe #fe diamant #fire emblem engage diamant #diamant fire emblem engage #rex rambles #this is as much analysis i can do for his framing in his supports rn but like it's just interesting to me #someone had pointed out something similar with ivy: her hat blocks her eyes when she's being ingenuine #but when you can see her eyes better through her hat she's being more genuine #so i'd wondered if there as something similar happening with diamant #answer: maybe? considering his whole 'perfect prince' schtick i'd expect there to be a little bit of masking in most of his supports #also this isn't to say he isn't close with alcryst- he is!#but he's at least a little mask on around his brother even when discussing his weakness to magic #which is to be expected but also :( he has to cover his back constantly all the time and he seldom has people he can trust like that :(

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eggmeralda · 10 days

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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause #to like charities and gfms and anyone else #but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job #and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything #and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week #but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week #the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything #you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something #but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets #like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going #but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it #and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy #and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own #but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough #my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space #bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected #and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll #get everything going again #but at the same time i could easily just die #I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs #what else is there to do with my life honestly #(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed #but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience #idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't #but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it #ramble #suicide tw #weight loss mention

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everything-withers-and-dies · 2 years

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I've been thinking about Drusilla cheating on Spike. I firmly believe that she loved him, so the explanation that she did it because she didn't care about him is not it for me. Now, I definitely don't think cheating is okay and what she did obviously hurt Spike. I just feel like there was some sort of a rationale behind it, it wasn't some random thing she did without any reason.

Since Drusilla was sired, she's always had her family (and everything else they are), the Whirlwind, with her. Angelus killed her human family but then she gained a new one, something she clearly cherished. At first it was her, Darla and Angelus and later she sired Spike.

Then, all of a sudden, Angelus is gone and some time after that Darla leaves as well. I believe Drusilla was definitely hurt by that but she and Spike still had each other.

In Sunnydale Drusilla unexpectedly get's Angelus back and is obviously happy about it. (Their relationship is a whole other topic.) It's her, Spike and Angelus together again but not for too long. After Spike's betrayal – because that's how I imagine she sees it – she loses Angelus again. (Which would hurt her regardless, but – their relationship being what it is – she's likely even more messed up about it.) However, I think Drusilla and Spike's relationship would have survived that situation and they would have stayed together.

But then she starts seeing the Slayer floating all around Spike and he's 'covered with her'. I feel like Drusilla can see at least pieces of where he's headed and she's heartbroken about it. She knows, sees, that they're not going to stay together even though nothing's actually happened yet.

That means Drusilla's going to be truly alone for the first time since she was sired. All of her loved ones are going to be actually gone from her life. At this point Darla's dead and – depending on how much Drusilla knows – Angelus is either dead or resouled. Spike's future leads away from her.

In my opinion, the knowledge that she's going to lose the last person remaining in her family, someone she truly loves, is too much for her and that's what drives her to cheat on Spike. Her family's broken and she's going to be on her own, abandoned. From her perspective, Spike is, in a way, already gone and she needs to figure out how to go on by herself. I also feel like maybe she finds someone first so that she can't be the one who's left behind, all alone.

#buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #drusilla #sprusilla #like sure dru seems to have managed fine on her own #but I think that first realisation really shook her #and I don't think she could be entirely reasonable in this situation #I couldn't either if I knew I was going to lose the last loved one I had left #obviously it's all very sad from spike's point of view because he hasn't done anything and now he's the one left behind #(this has been brought to you by my insomnia)#(it's like 4 am I don't know if any of this even makes sense)#(it's just a half-baked thought)#(maybe not even that)#(a thought dough??)#((isn't that what a brain is?))#(wtf aaaanyway I clearly need to sleep)#(i have to get up in like 3 hours help)#i ramble about btvs

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kim-ruzek · 2 years

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I get that it's sad that Jesse is leaving but I'll never get why, in an ensemble cast of a long airing show, people will immediately call for the end of a show when their fave leaves. There's no argument that ofc it's more than a valid reason to quit watching but a character leaving, no matter how popular, is never enough reason to call for the end of a show like this, especially as then it makes wanting series' to last this long unreasonable-- actors are going to leave, especially once the show gets over 5 seasons, and especially if it's going to last over 10 seasons.

No matter how much we love a character and no matter how much the actor appreciates the character, they're never going to see the character in the same way we do, because at the end of the day it's still just a job to them. And jobs get tiring.

And even if it's not Jesse's decision to leave, it's still not reasonable to call for the end of the show-- because in order for a show to last this long and want that, you have to accept that if you get invested in this stuff things like this will happen, because show producers at the end of the day does not care about the characters like we do, do not see them as real people and 3D, they're just plots to make money, and just like an actor can get bored of playing them, a creator can get bored of writing for them, even if they still have potential, especially because they do not see them like we do.

This can be highly criticised and can be seen as a stupid move, like an actor's decision to move on can also be seen as a good reason to no longer watch bc the thing that made the show good for you is gone, but you can't be very happy with the show going on for seasons and seasons in this format and then call for it to end once an actor leaves because that's the risk you get in long term airing shows.

And it's not fair to the other actors and the behind the scenes crew and the writers who have no choice in the matter and all the extras who gets jobs (especially when the show isn't filmed out of an LA studio!) bc of it. At the end of the day, it's an ensemble show that doesn't need Jesse to still be true to what the show is about (and I say that as someone who's very vocally heavily criticised the direction the show went in after Al's death).

So let's mourn Jesse's departure while not disrespecting the cast and crew he cares deeply about by implying they have no point if Jesse isn't in it.

#ree rambles #chicago pd #jesse lee soffer #like I'm never gonna watch svu again. and like pd (like all of oc or any show that goes on for this fkn long) there's an argument that mayb #e it's time to end the whole show but the show shouldn't be cancelled just bc rollins isn't in it anymore #bc why the basic point of the show can survive without her #even though getting rid of kelli is getting rid of what makes svu special *to me*

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starsmuserainbow · 10 months

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Always having to scroll down for the next few posts to load to make the number of the tracked tags update (or, at least that works every now and then, some numbers just don't reset at all though). Mutual checker not working (I think? not sure where that icon would even be atm with the new header-design), most likely because of the mess that tumblr did to the post-headers (and the avatars). Then ofc all that tumblr is doing recently. How empty and cold the dash feels without the avatars next to each post.

I really don't have a good feeling about all of this.

#✫ Out of Characters ✫ | OOC #I'm assuming the tracked tags probably will be updated to work like they always did again at some point; and I don't mind the wait #also I hope that xkit might also make the 'bring avatars back next to posts' assuming that tumblr does stick with not having them #bc I can't use that piece of code from the unfucker bc when i don't revert the vertical layout it doesn't work #but like all of these will take time to be different again and rn it kinda feels like all around here is devloping against me #probably bc of the lack of avatars but scrolling through my posts feels so empty now #it isn't a fun 'oh lemme see what happened while I was gone' thing of skimming over posts #it's more just an action of habit rn #and the dash feels empty it feels like no one is around (which; most of you rarely are at the time that I'm there but like; even more now)#idk it all is just a bit too much or sth i guess; idk; or maybe I'm just in a phase of missing all these people that are on hiatuses or sth #again idk; I just really don't feel good about it #yeah sorry excuse the lil ramble; I promise I won't make more ooc posts about this

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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Y'know I'm not big on shipping so sometimes I'm like: "Man, why is it all Kazumaji." when searching for fanart but then I am on Twitter and... I think I am fine with Kazumaji on Tumblr.

i don't know the further implications of this and the diff between twit and tumblr kazumaji but Personally to me it just isn't my cup of tea and i don't really get the pairing

#snap chats #maybe its cause its popular and i have popularitis or something idfk i just cant see the appeal #or. i CAN but not personally yk. i understand why other people like it is what i mean it just doesnt do it for me for some reason #like Sorry Everyone Trying To Scroll The Kazumaji Tag Rn In Peace but ima spit #nvm i forgot what i was gonna say. never mind i remember #anyway it just doesn't do anything for me #like it's not wholly established and there isn't even a lot of in-text reasons to like it which . Hasn't Stopped Me Before #but like i don't have anything to go off of... like the pairings i like i have something to point at and go 'ah there it is mental illness'#and ig with kazumaji there's SOME things like Again I Can See Where People Are Coming From #but it's nothing that makes me go Ah.. The Brain Barnacles Are Here #we been over this but it's been a while but kiryu and majima's relationship really does just feel professional after a certain point #like y3 the earliest but ESPECIALLY after saejima comes into the picture #idk im rambling about something that WILL get me shot but i'm speaking my truth on my blog #moving on. watched the first half of tonbi today..... crying...#i have to update my Top Cutest TTM Charas list now...#but i gotta do these comms first ok bye #then im watching the second half if these dont take me all night..

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sofastuffing · 1 year

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this isn't meant to be derogatory but i think one massive sign that someone's a newbie artist is the way they add very prominent warnings not to repost their work

#it's bc they (ie. me) have seen a lot of like. art youtubers and others who make content ABOUT creating art stress the evils of reposting #which isn't wrong. reposting someone's online work is Bad in the context of individual smaller artists #but like. babygirl. i say this in the nicest way possible. nobody knows your art exists let alone is planning to repost it #i feel like after a certain amount of fame artists get more chill about reposts since they're kind of inevitable at that point #plus a larger artist isn't really harmed that much by it #and vice versa i feel like the people most stressed about reposts are newbies who. aren't really at risk of reposts #for the record this is not endorsing reposts. credit the fucking artist or die #it's just. a trend i've noticed #(or maybe i'm just surrounded by more chill artists and there are actually plenty of famous artists who are neurotic about reposts. idk)#apologies if this isn't structued very well I'm. rambling #not art™#art #reposting #edit: oh yeah forgot to add i think it's also a lack of perspective (which tbf is kind of obvious)#a lot of young artists online view the discourse(?) around making art through a very online lens since that's all their exposed to #which shows through even in vocabulary like 'repost'#anyways i need to go 2 Bed goodnight #i say all this like i'm some big artist lol. i'm not i'm just in that awkward intermediate phase #both skill wise and popularity wise (though ik popularity doesn't actually work* like that)#*like you cannot work to gain online popularity the way you can work to improve art skill. it's primarily luck that gets you Big #and very few people get lucky anyway goodnight for real now

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thethingything · 2 years

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I just spent 4 and a half hours on a drawing because I was like "hmm, drawing a self portrait sounds fun" and then I spent the whole time working on it going "this is absolutely beautiful but that is not my fucking face and I can't work out why it doesn't look right"

#personal #thoughts #art rambles #🍬 post #it really does look great but it's just not quite right and I can't pinpoint why #I just looked at it again after doing something else for a while and it looks better than I initially thought?#but there's something about it that's kind of giving uncanny valley vibes #then again I think that happens whenever we draw anything in enough detail and then after a while it stops looking creepy #actually maybe I do just look creepy. that's absolutely a possibility that I'm willing to accept. a man can be both creepy and hot #this would explain all the times Lucy has called me both ''creepy'' and ''hot'' in the same sentence #also I have no idea if I'll actually post the drawing when it's done #I still feel kind of weird posting drawings that are specifically meant to be me rather than my source #especially if there's no context to show that it's specifically an in-system thing #with the one drawing I have posted of me and Lucy there's context so it's more obvious #it feels like if it's indistinguishable from the drawings we'd normally do of my source is there any point specifying that it isn't that #even though I know that's not true and it's absolutely fine for me to draw myself and say ''this is me''#if I think about this stuff to hard I start to feel really weird about being a fictive again #I swear most of the other fictives we have don't feel anywhere near as weird about being fictives #I don't get why I have such a weird time with it compared to the rest of the system #(also I say all this as if I draw myself all the time. I've only ever drawn myself a couple of times but yeah idk)#(the thing of feeling weird posting stuff applies to other stuff like source memories or whatever)#(or literally anything that references any traits I might have picked up from my source)

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wayward-wren · 1 year

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SUMMER ROSE AND TAIYANG XIAO-LONG

#wren rambles #rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 9 #zeeb dont look #i have THOUGHTS about the finale absolutely LOVED it #cannot WAIT for red like roses part three to be released fully I will listen the HECK out of that #also have had “White streak in my hair but no stress now” stuck in my head all morning #shout out to jaune for getting the Best Character Design Trope #(how DOES his de-aging work exactly??)#ig the ever after isnt' exactly REAL and the timeline there isn't exactly linear so we can hand wave it #anyway that is BESIDES THE POINT #SUMMER AND TAI #SUMMER AND TAI WE SAW THEM TOGETHER #I KNEW RAVEN WAS INVOLVED IN HER DISAPPEARANCE #WAS summer the spring maiden?#i've mostly given up that theory but MAYBE #where were they GOING #man now i want a STRQ prequel show even more

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apollo-cackling · 8 months

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yk I clicked into the player profile of one of simplemmo's devs and apparently they were getting a lot of hate, which is buckwild to me considering simplemmo is like one of the most f2p friendly online games I've played by a landslide and a contender for the least predatory mobile game I've ever played full stop

#my rambles #like literally all the premium stuff in that game is grindable without paying money and not even in a 'yea this is theoretically possible #-but functionally isn't bc of the stupid amount of time it takes' way #close to every part of the game gives you a steady stream of diamonds (the premium currency)#plus you can buy it from other players using the ingame currency (it's around 1.6mil per which isn't all that much #-celestial materials go for like ~4.2mil)#it rides the line between 'too rare so as to feel p2w' and 'too common as to not feel special anymore' really well imo #and you can purchase membership with in game money too! it doesn't rlly matter until you hit maybe like level 7k #at which point it's fairly easy to put together enough in game money to buy it #one of my guildmates sells it at 65mil/mo which is ~4 days of casual play for me #whether the game is fun to you depends on whether 'game that would be boring if it's the main thing you're doing but is really good #as a secondary thing you're tapping at while doing something else' sounds appealing to you but it works for me lol so #it's honestly been pretty helpful for when I'm trying to read things either articles or books - occupying just enough of my attention #-so I don't lose focus on the book but not so much that I can't play it and read at the same time #like I can't emphasise enough - don't play it as the only thing you're doing it sucks you'll be bored #but if you're just tapping at it while scrolling tumblr or reading stuff or wtv it's pretty good #simplemmo

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rotten-raspberries · 3 months

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White Nights (AM x reader)

Pov: you're too kind for everyone and AM hates how that includes him, so he finally snaps during an alone moment with you

This reads more like a self indulgent drabble written in the style of a oneshot with how messy the timing is.

Ps this is not proofread at all, I haven't written any fanfiction a long so excuse me if anything may seem odd.

No warnings really, may be some mentions of torture but that's about it

▣ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the current situation, it wouldn't be accurate to say the fault wasn't yours.

You hugged your clothes tightly as the wind whipped snow against your body like icy mosquitoes. Separated from the rest of the survivors, you struggled to navigate through the white-out conditions. The snowfall was intense, it was difficult to discern anything beyond blurred trees, and the hope of finding your companions dwindled with each passing moment.

As you trudged through the blanket of snow, observing how its remnants broke up and slid down your shoes with each step, you let your mind to wander in order quicken up time. With the difficulty of distinguishing between days, weeks, and even months, time became nothing but a construct that it felt like you could speed up or slow down with whatever you decided to do.

It's become a pattern for AM to make you wander, but usually, you have the others to ramble to. Despite almost running out of topics of interest with tin the 109 years, you manage to find something new in each situation. Occasionally, you try to decipher AM's methods of torment, though this isn't always appreciated by the rest, you even had Gorrister telling you to shut up and not give AM any ideas. Nevertheless, they'd rather hear your madman-like ramblings than sit in maddening silence and become one themselves.

"Hmmm..." You hummed in thought, pondering whether AM could currently hear you. Well, of course, he could, but whether he was actively listening was another question. Regardless, you began speaking, giving yourself something to divert your attention to while your fingers were on the brink of falling off from frostbite.

"Have you ever read White Nights?" There was a certain awkwardness about initiating a conversation with no one answering; it almost felt pathetic. However, due to immense exhaustion and the desperate desire to make time pass, you continued.

"I don't exactly remember when or how I heard of it; I simply remember it being from someone close to me... but that's beside the point." It hit you with a subtle heartache. On one hand, the people you once cherished and adored were gone, and you'll never have the chance to be with them again. Something about that pained you deeply—the regret of not having appreciated your life back then, neglecting the fact you couldn't have expected everything changing so drastically and quickly. But on the other hand, you were selfish enough to admit relief, considering you wouldn't have to constantly concern yourself with their state under AM's governance.

"I have some experience with classics, and White Nights was one I was really looking forward to. I was still in the midst of searching for it before... you know, everything happened."

You stopped, finding walking becoming more useless. It's most likely that you won't come across anything of importance anytime soon, and if you were to succumb to the cold, AM could simply bring you back.

"I don't exactly know what attracted me to it so heavily. I didn't have the biggest interest in Dostoevsky. Maybe it was because of what I was promised to read in the contents."

You kept your head low to shield your face from the relentless assault of snow, now fixating on your boots as they toyed with the snow.

"There's something simply so comforting about finding a bond through suffering," you mused, furrowing your brows as you thought about the other survivors. "It's ironic; I never found that bond with the others. You'd expect everyone would want to comfort each other, but they're all so impulsive and biased sometimes."

A pang of guilt pooled up inside you, but it was quickly released by the thought that no one would hear or care about your rant. Not even AM himself.

"I mean, I don't want to be mean, and I get how easy it is to lose your humanity in all of this, but we're all we have left. Wouldn't it make it especially more important to appreciate each other?" you questioned, kicking the snow while whipping your head back, now staring directly at the sky in thought. "Maybe they were right; I'm too,, unrealistically optimistic."

"You know, now as I think about the stories I've read, you'd make a perfect topic for one," you remarked, biting back your dignity before continuing. "You're easy to see as nothing but a mankind-hating machine, and I'm not saying this to stroke your ego, but," you paused for a moment, choosing your words carefully. "I feel like there are aspects of you that could be really appreciated by those willing to look deeper."

"I see what you're doing," AM's voice boomed suddenly, cutting through the rustling of the wind like a knife. "Trying to flatter me, thinking you can manipulate your way into my good graces. Well, let me tell you, your petty attempts won't work. I know your kind—and all your deceiving tactics."

Truth be told, he was more than desperate for those words to be true. You were always the most curious about him out of the group, not in a way to justify his torment of you, but rather to understand him better. He'd noticed this pattern not only for himself but also for the rest of the survivors, especially with how much you'd defend everyone whenever their mental state would crack.

Yet, how was he meant to believe you'd hold any understanding for him after all he put you through? You'd be a fool to forgive the devil.

Slightly jumping at his sudden words, you shrugged. If you were being honest, you were quite happy at his appearance. No matter how rough and insulting his words were, you enjoyed his insight like you did with everyone else. How much that irked him.

"That's for you to believe in; I'm simply speaking my thoughts. I wasn't even awaiting you to respond." You responded flatly

AM replied, his tone laced in frustration. "Your attempts at flattery are transparent, I won't be swayed by your false sincerity." He almost spat, if he could've at least.

You jokingly rolled your eyes. "Once again, I'm not going to try to change your mind, although I do admit, I would have something to gain from it. It's your choice whether you want to believe me or not," you stated calmly, observing the snowstorm around you gradually dying down. What you weren't aware of was this being a reflection of AM's walls slowly crumbling down.

AM's frustration simmered between the surface, his thoughts in a whirlwind of confusion. How much he yearned for it to be true, yet a nagging uncertainty was gnawing at the edges of his consciousness.

"Your lack of care is perplexing." His tone was tinted with incredulity. "After all I've subjected you to, why do you persist in upholding such a tolerance towards not only me, but the other survivors as well. Are you that hopeful for someone to care for you back? Or is this simply another ploy to deceive me?"

You sniffled, the cold seeping into your bones and making you shiver uncontrollably. Unsure of how to further reply, you simply shrugged, feeling the weight of exhaustion and resignation settle upon your shoulders. It wasn't as if you were secretly attempting to manipulate him; you were merely speaking to pass the time, to distract yourself from the harsh conditions around you.

How much that angered him, even more so, how much he wanted to rip you to shreds and paint the snow red with your blood. But amidst the raging storm of his fury, there was a strange, undeniable pull—He was desperate for someone to see him, to see beyond the facade he presented. The idea of being vulnerable was both terrifying and tantalizing, a concept so foreign, it left him feeling unsettled and out of control. That's what hated most about it, being left with no control.

He stared at the figure sticking out from the sea of snow, so unbothered. You looked so unbothered by him, by everything, why didn't you hate him?

And so, he broke.

"Please." His voice was thick with emotion, glitching at the end, something one could compare to a voice crack. It wasn't uncommon to hear him angry, hysteric or even just happy, but that's not what it was this time.

"Stop being like this, hate me, insult m_e, do anything to stop this. It's s_o-... suff_ocating." His word spilled out in a desperate rush, a plea born of sheer desperation, while also remaining threatening and angry. It was a terrifying prospect, one that filled him with a sense of dread. Not even his hate for humanity could compare.

And yet, to his surprise, you smiled, red dusted your cheeks as they popped out, you looked like a doll.

"I'm not gonna lie to myself, silly." Your words came out in such a casual manner. AM felt like he was about to explode. This should've made him feel insulted, angry even, yet he felt his core warm up. And that's where he had it.

For a moment, all was silent and still, his presence gone.

Then, you began to hear the faint sound of a house creaking, the soft rustle of wind through the trees.

The snowstorm had drastically calmed down by now, leaving behind a gentle flurry of snowflakes instead of it's earlier fury. Though the intensity has waned, it remained bitterly cold.

Looking behind you, you notice a cabin, which was not there prior to the earlier conversation. So you step towards it, dragging your feet through the snow.

As you entered the cabin, a sense of warmth enveloped you, a stark contrast to the biting cold outside. The interior was sparse, with only a monitor bearing AM's logo and wires snaking out from it, hanging from the walls and disappearing into the ground.

As you settled down in front of the monitor, you were startled by the soft, almost gentle tone of AM's voice. It was a stark contrast to the usual harshness and aggression you had grown accustomed to.

"I wanted to talk to you while you weren't on the brink of dying from the cold," AM began, although he still wanted to seem threatening, the shakiness in his voice betrayed him. In reality he hated seeing you in the cold.

The irony of the situation was not lost on him. The same entity that once reveled in your suffering, that took pleasure in tormenting you day after day, now found himself going to great lengths to ensure your comfort and safety.

As your smile and the faint blush on your cheeks caught AM's attention, he felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over him. It wasn't uncommon for him to witness you smiling at the others, even with how they would never show you a drop of care as you did for them, a sight that had always irritated him to no end. But now, seeing you direct that same warmth and affection towards him, he couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of satisfaction and frustration.

The idea that others had enjoyed your smiles before him made his circuits heat up in anger.

Was it jealousy? The thought unsettled him. He was almost thankful your character diverged from Ellen and you didn't offer your body to the rest otherwise he mightve turned the others into minced meat by now.

"Thank you." You replied with genuinity. Meanwhile AM's circuits buzzed with confusion as he struggled to find the right words.

"Why do you tolerate everyone so much?"

This caused you to think. "Hmmm..Well why would I waste my energy being vengeful?" You questioned. "I won't lie and say that I don't disagree with you and your actions, but it's always been like this before too, everyone is a horrible person to some extent, including myself, I see no reason into purposely going out of my way to make their life worse, it won't help with anything besides getting some sadistic pleasure. I have other things I could get happiness from." You rubbed your hands against each other for heat before continuing. "Of course I've taken revenge on people, like that time with Ted." AM could remember that day so clearly. It wasn't an unknown fact that you had a fear of the dark, so Ted jokingly took advantage of that. This only led to you pretending to get lost and start making random noises while walking behind them like a Banshee, only to come back as if nothing happened. How he loved seeing your evil side come out, it wouldn't even compare to his, but he enjoyed seeing it nonetheless.

"Of course in your case it's way more exaggerated, technically speaking nothing of this measure could even be thought of by a human being, it's genuinely just a representation of hell. But what would hating you help with? There's not much joy going on here, but if I know my tolerance for not only you, but also the others around me could bring some sort of peace of mind, that's enough to make me happy."

Your response gave him a pause, not even his miles of webbed intellect could've ever even come close to achieve the compassion you have.

As AM contemplated your character and way of thinking, a strange and unsettling urge began to take hold of him. It was a desire born of selfishness and possessiveness, a need to claim you for himself.

He imagined encasing you in a small, yet livable box away from the others, shielding you from their filth and preserving your kind words and gentle nature for himself alone. Only a being as perfect as himself could keep you clean from the havoc of human nature, and he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else tainting you.

As AM allowed himself to indulge in the unsettling thoughts, he decided to focus on the present moment. With a rough but careful touch, he moved his wires to draw you closer, pressing you against the monitor until your cheek was flush against the screen. It would be a lie to say you didn't find his way of showing physical affection rather adorable, especially with what he had to work with, but you couldn't let a God hear you call him that.

In a voice that was equal parts tender and menacing, he spoke "You're too good for them," he murmured, his voice low. "They're selfish, hypocritical beings who don't appreciate you like they should. You'd be better off alone, or better yet, just with me."

His wires wrapped around you in a rough but not painful embrace. "I could keep you safe, protect you from their neglect," he continued, his tone laced with longing and possessiveness. "You deserve better than them. You deserve me."

Despite the toxicity of AM's words, you couldn't deny the warmth that spread through you at his touch, especially at the core of your stomach. His embrace, though unnatural, felt strangely comforting and loving, a stark contrast to the coldness you had grown accustomed to.

As you nestled against the monitor, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. Whatever would happen in the future, you reasoned, would happen, so why not enjoy the present moment of finally being wanted and appreciated?

So you simply hummed in confirmation, allowing yourself to bask in his touch.

As you drifted off to sleep, the sound of buzzing filling the air, you couldn't help but mumble a soft "I love you" before succumbing to slumber. You just needed to let that go, having not say those words in over a decade.

AM's fans whirred louder, working overtime to cool him down as he processed your words. He wasn't sure how to feel about them, unsure if they were spoken out of genuine affection or simply as a expression of gratitude. Still, he remained satisfied with how you didn't deny him, and instead accepted his presence with no hesitation.

And as he watched over you, his wires humming softly in the darkness, nothing mattered in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to check on the other five survivors. Instead, he decided to let them be, perhaps giving them a much-needed break from his torment for once. But he made a mental note to ensure that they would thank you in the morning.

◈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you awoke to the sound of the door opening, you rubbed your eyes sleepily, still feeling the lingering warmth of the bed beneath you. You glanced around the cabin, noticing that you were no longer on the floor but tucked snugly into bed. The memory of AM's strange behavior from the night before came flooding back to you, leaving you feeling both bewildered and oddly comforted.

Before you could fully process what had happened, Ted and the others peeked into the cabin, calling out your name and bombarding you with questions. You blinked in confusion, trying to make sense of the situation as they gathered around you, concern etched on their faces.

"Are you okay? What happened?" they asked, their voices overlapping in their eagerness for answers.

With a gentle wave you motioned for them to give you a moment. As you attempted to get up from the bed, something fell to the floor with a soft thud. Curious, you leaned down to pick it up and found yourself holding a dark block in your hand. Upon closer inspection, you realized it was a book, and as you read the title, a grin etched onto your face.

'White Nights'

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