#ree rambles
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what the fuuuuck I signed up for some chenford angst on my birthday and I was fine with that because be it fluff or angst, I love me some chenford and that's the greatest present I could have but what the fuck I did NOT sign up for a chenford breakup ON MY GODDAMN BIRTHDAY
#ree rambles#chenford#the rookie#the rookie spoilers#ITS MY BIRTHDAY I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SEE TIMOTHY BRADFORD BREAK LUCY'S HEART#everyone is leaving my girl :(#my poor baby
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thinking of a 300-follower giveaway 👀👀👀
#hmm hmmmmm#what do we think?#does anyone want a free illustration or comic by yours truly? 👀#Ree rambles#text post
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I’ve never felt more powerful than when I flash my tits at my girlfriend while they’re gaming. Seeing them short circuit for a split second before they blush and smile goofily makes me feel so many things ☺️
#sapphic thoughts#sapphic post#sapphic#sapphic yearning#lesbian#lesbian thoughts#lesbian yearning#lesbian post#truly one of my favorite things to do while they game#i love my girlfriend#lgbtq thoughts#lgbtq#lgbtq yearning#lgbtq post#my girlfriend is adorable#I love them#i miss my girlfriend#🐢#my post#ree rambles#ree talks
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i know everyone goes crazy for n/d/l with laurent subbing for two doms but hi can we consider n/d/l with damen domming two subs. can we
#ree rambles#kink.#nsfw.#i mean honestly. love dom nik but canon nik is a switch at best#theyd both be so fucking bratty damen would have the time of his life. just saying#can we consider damen ordering nik and laurent to put on a show for him. or like one of them having to wait patiently#for damen to finish fucking the other one. ok OK IM DONE sorry bye
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☽ ・WHAT MAKES A PERSONALITY.
a template ( created by the wonderful Ree ) for analyzing features of a personality beyond listing adjectives. written beneath a readmore because of length, not spoilers!
SELF-CONCEPT
VIEW OF SELF: highly upheld on a pedestal created by her late tribe and the hierarchy of Fell Churches. though clouded by a heavy sense of superiority, there is the slightest chance of self-awareness from her, though it is an introspection that takes time. what is important to her is that she, above anyone else, knows her heart and mind. no one else can claim to relate to all she has lived through and she knows this; though the level of tragedy she connects this with is debatable. likewise, her view of self is duller than her view of others, as she truly does not care for herself at her core. this is not self-deprecation, rather it is the monotonous feeling that comes from knowing that, at the end of the day, she is what her tribe and Sombron have made of her. there is nothing else and nothing more.
VIEW OF OTHERS: hardly memorable. unlike her, time will pass for them and they will die, so their only purpose is to serve until their last breath. will she remember their names? hardly, but the impact they have will outlive their body. as a direct result of her behavioral inconsistencies and traumas, she alienates herself from society and, thus, does not view humanity and other immortal beings in any positive light. they are only useful under a leash. they are only useful if they can be wielded as pawns. if they stray from their fated path, then they must be punished. it is as much a law as it is instinct. either way, none of them will equate to the space necessary in the void of her heart; what she needs is a family, and other people cannot give this to her.
VIEW OF WORLD: unforgiving. selfish. the world is cruel to those who surpass their fate and, thus, she bares her teeth and takes as much from the world as she thinks she deserves; which is everything it has to offer. in her eyes, the world is ever-changing and will not wait for you to mend your wounds, no matter how closely you hold it at heart. you will not survive if you are not the aggressor. her environment taught her that pain is love and such love, one strong enough to destroy what it has created, is punishment, in its own way. to love was to hurt until you knew nothing else; to grieve was to love with all your heart. if you sought love then you had to seek the pain that is obligated with it upon your faults. thus, all relationships of value between her and the world were, and will always be, transactional.
MOTIVATIONS & GOALS: serve as Lord Sombron's greatest follower until he sees her as fit to be the mother of his child. whether it be one or plenty, she hopes to bear them and give fruit to lives of her blood. upon birth, they are hers, as a mother and idol and god. and that, the idea that, one day, someone she brought into the world will revolve that very world around her, is what keeps her focused on the future. but somewhere, along the line, another motivation has formed upon her arrival; protect the Four Hounds and restore what they once were.
WHEY THEY VALUE MOST: family, both in the physical and metaphorical sense. the idea of having and taking from someone who owes you their entire life for giving fruit to theirs.
EMOTIONAL REACTIONS
REACTION TO STRESS: most, if not all, negative emotions end in her lashing out in an attempt to regain the control she once lost. so, when stressed, her composure falters; she becomes jittery, scheming, and distant. she'll refocus all of her energy on picking apart the stressor and, upon recognizing what it is, eliminating it without hesitation. this could mean directly destroying the stressor or completing it, but whichever it is, she does not ignore it. it, also, does not matter what this stress comes from; whether it be a responsibility, environment, or person. the execution, however, of this determination is usually heartless and selfish, as she will go through anything and anyone to calm the nerves of her heart.
REACTION TO FEAR: though fear, too, is a negative emotion, it does not necessarily end in an unwavering sense of hostility. to fear something is to think that it has the weight to actually affect you. and, thus, it is fine to say that fear isn't an emotion she's faced often in her thousand years of life. upon first face of this subject causing her fear, she's incredulous. confused or shocked, rather than frightful. but when the emotion sets in, she becomes quieter. curt. this silence is not submissive, lest it be in the face of Sombron. her following reaction will be to right what has been wronged; control. she will combat this fear with confrontation if the risks prove to be lesser, but she knows her limits and will not provoke the fear if it will bring her harm.
REACTION TO SUCCESS: to revel in her success is not rare. this is, usually, done in the form of taunting the losing party. however, her reaction to success differs between the success of herself and the success of those she deems as hers. for the former, she does not seek praise. it is not the acknowledgment she requires, as that is flawed and not taken at heart's value. if not from Sombron, then she does not want it. however, praise is what she requires when her pawns succeed. for them to win is a win for her, as it reinforces the greedy pride of being able to create something worth loving. otherwise, success, to her, is conditional and can always be revoked. it is not something worth celebrating by the masses. in fact, it could be argued that success makes her hungrier for the possible retaliation that will follow.
REACTION TO FAILURE: depends highly on who she fails regarding the event. in light of disappointing Sombron, her apologies are swift, curt, as there is nothing else to say. her willingness to right, again, what has been wronged is high and she will take no other answer unless she's given the other chance. there is no guilt, as she does not recognize such a feeling, but the feeling aches similarly. if in the case of failing herself, her reaction is duller. again, at her core, she has come to terms with the fate she's been given, so all she is to do is find her way back unto the path paved for her. she'll try again, more determined, but emotional reactions are little to none. she understands herself best and will right herself accordingly, aiming to engrain into her the teachings that made her who she is.
DEVELOPMENT
IDEAL SELF: is constantly changing, to the point where she cannot fully recognize where she, herself, wants to be. what amount of development would be enough? from whom would this development come from? all she knows is that the ideal life she sees fit for herself is that of a mother, as it was the only thing able to fill the void in her heart. key word: was. new events have shone a light on her ideals and hope to shift them. unfortunately, because of her lack of concern for who or what she becomes, as her fate will always be written before her, the exact ideal self is unknown.
AREAS OF GROWTH: as mentioned before, loneliness is still a factor she hopes to heal. being alienated from others, even dragons like herself, because of the behavior she adapted to in hopes of defending her heart will always prove her efforts futile. to grow requires the knowledge to understand exactly what is necessary beforehand. thus, her concept of what can heal her is false and flawed. it's simple and, if she does not recognize her emotions and pick apart the years of manipulation, all will be hopeless.
BARRIERS TO GROWTH: the inability to wear her heart anywhere that is not the steel bars of her ribcages; the continuous conquest of favor for Sombron; the inability to recognize how she has affected the world and vice versa; the inability to be truthful lest she fear bleeding out on the spot; and time wearing away at the familiarity she should have with her own emotions. there is a lot that stands as an obstacle to her development. none of it will disappear quickly, so she must approach it slowly and with patience.
#☽ ━━━━━━ ❝ a bleeding dragonstone; her heart crystal ・ 【 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 】 .#☽ ━━━━━━ ❝ she; the daughter known by her teeth ・ 【 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 】 .#been chewing on this template for some time now and after rereading the entire script and watching zelestia's supports... call me inspired#thank you ree for the template!! always cheesed to fill this out. especially for such a complicated muse#of course since zephia is still a newer muse of mine and i have yet fully perfect her voice this is viable to change in the future#also.. tried to be vague w this so no engage spoiler tag! please lmk if i definitely should though :D#most of this is rambling as that's the best way i come to understand characterization. esp in light of her true feelings being quite hard +#to pinpoint since lying / manipulating has become second nature to her: to protect herself and weasel her way into others' hearts#also it is veeery possible that i may have misunderstood a few of the categories.. if i did then look away i'm just a silly little guy
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Does anyone have some female film directors who have worked in multiple genres? I’m pitching a hypothetical film to my class, and it’s important to me to a woman as the director
#film#female directors#feminism#greta gerwig#sofia coppola#movies#women directors#kathryn bigelow#chloe zhao#wachowski sisters#dee rees#the fake movie is about this guy who crafts a tragic caricature of this woman in his head after overhearing her ramble about having a#shitty day. It’s a very exaggerated and almost satirical style but it’s not a comedy cause by the end you need to at least get the vibe tha#this guy seems offputting and the woman should probably leave#but it’s also not a horror. hence why the experience in multiple genres would be appreciated#ky’s gallery
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Great news! I officially started the revision draft of Secrets of a Gon and I already like the first chapter SO much better.
The exposition is now laid out with, you guessed it, mostly banter.
#Zeta Rambles#Secrets of a Gon Series#Also I actually wrote out the brief fight that Ree and Oran have instead of just mentioning it in passing and it’s much more engaging#I am still struggling to balance the amount of Spanish I use but I'm sure I'll figure it out
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Rewatching NCIS and my god early baby Tiva hits so fucking hard
#ree rambles#ncis#tiva#im falling in love with them all over again#i didn't forget just how much i adore them but also my heart is going to burst with how much i love them
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what if skk once they get together but it's just them being all cuddly and domestic instead of the hot, rough sex everyone's been betting on because it is HARD being a working adult in this economy and all we want is cuddles
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i'm not sure i believe
dealing with loss is hard.
dealing with the knowledge
that someone you love
isn't going to be around anymore is hard.
coming to peace with the fact that my sister isn't going to be here for much longer has been so emotionally draining-
for her, for my family, for me
i've cried to the universe,
to a god i'm not sure i believe in anymore,
to the very earth i stand on.
And the only thing that remains
is the fact that this is never supposed to be easy.
Because dealing with loss is hard.
-ree
#poem#poetry#my poem#my poetry#poem about loss#sad poetry#sad poem#my original poetry#my original poem#my original writing#ree rambles#short poetry#short poem
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erasmus and kallias au where they're both still slaves but prince damianos gets the idea that it would be fun to have them perform together is this anything
#sorry i saw a manga screen cap of two collared guys kissing with their collars chained to each other and shortcircuited. anyway#alternatively bd/sm modern au where kal and erasmus both sub for the same dom or whatever#kink.#nsfw.#ANYWAY. i have a erasmus/kallias au thats less insane than this but apparently my brain is not going there anytime soon#ree rambles
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My ocs' names are all so silly. Here are my children domino rainbow starry and ree, the rest of them are all named elizabeth
#i swear im not making this up do you want a lore dump for proof#i dont remember anything about rainbow other than that shes a dancer and is Very Scary#also yes there are indeed multiple elizabeths and domino is also one of them#theyre all reincarnated versions of elizabeth the first and theyre all varying degrees of messed up#would you believe it if i told you starry and ree are both gods#theres another god their name is christmas (actually cre but i like to call them that. theres a canon holiday in my ocverse called cresmas)#i am suddenly very interested in my ocs i need an oc tag#oc tag#there we go#incoherent ramblings
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peony : what would a ‘ happy life ’ look like in your muse’s eyes ?
BOTANICAL HEADCANONS ・ accepting! ( warning for discussion or mentions of pregnancies, childbirth, child neglect / abuse, religious trauma, and bad parenting overall )
there are two answers to this depending on pre-death and post-death Zephia, so i'll answer this question twice, elaborate on both, and compare the expectation between the two, as slight as it might be. the order will be PRE-DEATH → POST-DEATH → COMPARISON. warning for rambling and long paragraphs, too 💕
first off, a "happy life" in PRE-DEATH Zephia's eyes would be pretty basic and concise. she would bear a child by Lord Sombron and heal her loneliness. but that's where it ends. she hadn't thought of anything after gracing a womb with a child, thus, after her child would be born, what then? what would she want after? though this "happy life" would consist of Sombron giving in to her wish, would he not expect her child to become a pawn if she taught them the ways of the Fell Dragon? but if she didn't, if she tried to be a mother like her mother once was, would her child not snap their jaws at the world like it was theirs?
no matter how many children she has, there is no place for the Four Hounds in this happy life. they were temporary in her real conquest and, thus, would be discarded once she was deemed pregnant. after all, her only reason to be Sombron's follower in the first place was for him to realize how good of a mother he could make her, right? there's a question of where she and her child go but for that, she has no answer. whatever it be, it would be nowhere close to a Fell Church. that much was for certain. she saw the treatment they gave children—took part in it, even. but she would be damned if anyone besides herself hurt her child. this, likely, extends to Sombron. she chose him as a father simply because of how absent he is in the lives of his own children so it should be the same for hers. he won't care and her child's entire world will revolve around her.
but, a "happy life" in POST-DEATH Zephia's eyes is more thought-out but less sensical. her conquest of bearing a Lord Sombron's child is still a priority, but she does not know where it stands among the others. because, now, she realizes that she does have other people she cares for. whether she has one child or plenty, the Four Hounds deserve a place at her side, however, she doesn't know where or how that is. would she take them far from the Fell Church? even after its damages have already been done? would she name Griss as the godfather of her child? Mauvier? would she forgive Marni and, in some twisted form of fate, pronounce her the dead godmother? either way, she will have a child ( because, to her, she needs to start over. a clean new slate. a clean new family. ) but where would she go to raise them?
after her death, Zephia doesn't really understand her goals or desires. she's realized that the Four Hounds were the family she wanted, yes, but would they be enough? especially after she had such an influence in all of their fates? what's to say that Griss would even be a good godfather? and if he isn't, what would she do? it isn't his fault that he's the way he is as much as it's her fault for encouraging his desires. would she discard him from the new life or would she see her child as the problem?
now for the COMPARISON. let it be known that imagining Xephia with a child is a dangerous game, as her own traumas are only repressed, not healed, and putting a child under her care would only prove how inept she is at motherhood. she wasn't made or taught how to properly love someone and her definition of parenthood is a transaction of obligation from the child for being born so... yeah.
pre-death Zephia is selfish whereas post-death Zephia is not as blind to her prior desires. this has nothing to do with Sombron, unfortunately, as she still wants to have his child. that will not change. for over a thousand years, that was her goal and, likely, will not change until a thousand more years of self-introspection occur. however, post-death Zephia does now see the Four Hounds as a family, though her understanding of this doesn't reflect that. she doesn't fully recognize the impact Griss, Mauvier, and Marni had on her conscious. so while she definitely imagines them being a part of a "happy life", in comparison to pre-death Zephia who will not think of them as anything beyond what they are, i don't think she knows what or where they'll be. because, after all, Marni's death was by her hands and Mauvier is nowhere to be found.
it's simple to assume that a "happy life" in Zephia's eyes would be something cruel and purposefully full of malice ( ex. founding a Fell Church of her own, or another faction of followers, or reviving Sombron completely ) but the only goal in life that she can remember having is to bear a child and live a life of fullness with them. the specifics aren't and were never thought out fully.
#queue tag tba.#ofradiances#☽ ━━━━━━ ❝ she; the daughter known by her teeth ・ 【 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 】 .#☽ ━━━━━━ ❝ to appease the handmade goddess ・ 【 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 】 .#she needs anything that isn't motherhood ( probably therapy ) but man...#thinking of her with a child and trying to heal from the transactional view of parenthood she had for centuries is inchresting..#fortunately.. for her and the child.. that will never happen but it's nice to wonder about#especially considering that she is and will always be a villain and her child would have to bear the burden of either similar ideologies +#or understanding that they are / can be different. plus the wedge that realization would put between them and zephia#similar to the wedge she put between her & the hounds tho i tentatively disregard griss since ree mentioned his view on marni's death#anywho no more tag rambling. just know i think a lot about her actually becoming a mother
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;;
#Admittedly I’m. a little worried that new followers (in the future) won’t understand/accept that ree is Champion of the PWT#But they worked incredibly hard for it and I don’t want to like. Recant it?#Idk this blog has a Timeline. It’s got Growth.#Things change w ree as threads happen.#Idk I’m rambling LMAO
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"Why do all of your stories have a character that has a cousin that's closer to them than most people write sibling characters"
Uhhhhhhhhh well it's probably maybe because I have a cousin that might as well be my older brother haha
#I did not realize I do this consistently until my friend pointed it out#Literally. All of my stories have this very specific dynamic between a character and their cousin#There’s Shayrow and his cousins in “Pentad of Un”#And Sterling and his cousins in “Minding Q's”#Ree and Oran's dynamic in “Secrets of a Gon” and also Lam's cousins#Even in “Parallel Shadows” January is pretty close with her cousins#Anyways. The cousin in question is almost here so we can play video games so Yeah#Zeta Rambles
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that trophy scene was seriously so cute like it had no right being THAT cute
#ree rambles#chenford#the rookie spoilers#i wasn't really looking forward to this episode bc i thought we'd have like. no chenford content at least no good unangsty content#but then?? we were fed so much???#ugh i love them#I just wanna gif the hell out of this episode it was so cute#although poor lucy :/#i feel for lucy but I'm loving the chenford
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