~At a Playground for Initiates or something~

Little!Anakin: *falls on the ground* *cries*

Obi-Wan: *talking with Mace Windu*

Little!Anakin: *notices Obi-Wan isn't paying attention to him* *gets up and walks to Obi-Wan* *throws himself on the ground in front of Obi-Wan and starts to cry again*

Obi-Wan: ???

Mace, half sarcastic: Aww, what a little attention seeker!

What do you think they’re talking about?

So I was recommended Out With Lanterns by SkyBean in this post about other potential masters for Ahsoka back in October, and I've finally gotten around to finishing it (as well as most of the other fics in the series) and I HAVE to say something about it because I feel like this fic has changed my brain chemistry just a little.

For reference, Out With Lanterns is a fic where Ahsoka is chosen by Mace to be his Padawan about a year or so prior to AOTC and follows her life and training with him through the clone wars.

Since this is a fic rec, I'm going to put a few warnings out front. There's absolutely going to be spoilers for this fic because I have a lot to say about it, so if you are interested in the basic premise and don't want to know any of the details so you can experience it for yourself, please don't read past this paragraph. This fic is NOT Anakin friendly, in any way shape or form. It isn't what I would consider a character bashing and he only shows up like 3-4 times total in a fic that's 300k words long, but it doesn't try to be particularly kind to Anakin when he is there. It's also not super kind to Padme or Anidala, unsurprisingly. The fic is completed, but the series is still ongoing. This fic takes the war a LOT more seriously than the show did and it doesn't shy away from some of the darker things that can happen in a war or the violence that the characters might have to go through as a result of fighting in it. Some of the other fics in the series continue past Order 66 and look more in detail at what life might be like for Jedi who have to go on the run and constantly fear persecution. It's dark, it's painful, it's harrowing, but it's VERY very good. This fic is also INCREDIBLY pro Jedi and Jedi friendly.

On to the spoilery bits.

I've been sort-of on the fence about Ahsoka since her show came out last year and it's embittered me towards her character quite a bit, which is sort-of sad because I HAVE really enjoyed her in the past, but nothing about her current trajectory is anything I like or find interesting and in fact it feels like it's leading that branch of Star Wars in a direction I find actively distasteful. And it's hard to look at her character and not REMEMBER where she's ended up, it's hard to look at her in TCW and Rebels and not see all the things that were signs of where she was heading.

But this fic has done a lot to make me like her again. This fic is written by someone who so clearly understands what made Ahsoka a really compelling character initially and focuses in on that in such a way that it makes me remember what I HAVE liked about Ahsoka. It allows Ahsoka to be incredibly flawed, even as she grows and develops and matures, she still makes mistakes and struggles and needs guidance from her master. But those flaws don't make her incompetent or a bad person, quite the opposite. Ahsoka, by virtue of having a real Jedi Master instead of Anakin, ends up capable of acknowledging her own flaws and learning from them. She knows where her strengths and weaknesses are and is able to make decisions with that in mind, and when she makes mistakes she doesn't sit there and dwell on them, but she DOES let herself learn from them. Ahsoka in this fic does not feel like a mouthpiece, she feels like a real distinct character and I LOVE THAT about her.

I love the ways we see her become the Jedi she can't be in canon due to Anakin's influence, the ways she retains so much more of her Jedi heritage as a result of not learning from him, and how that helps her SO MUCH MORE than anything Anakin's training does for her in canon. I also love seeing how much of MACE gets reflected in Ahsoka, the things she specifically picks up from him, both good and bad.

I love the complexities of Ahsoka's relationship with the clones and how it develops from the first initial overtures to the deep friendships she has with them by the end to the complicated feelings she has after Order 66 and after discovering the chips. Her relationships with the various clone characters she interacts with don't feel like they're all the same, they're distinct from each other the way they should be because the CLONES are distinct from each other. I like the balance she has to manage between being their commanding officer and their friend. I like that she can love them and recognize that there are things about the clones that she doesn't want to replicate in herself because it would make her a worse Jedi. In particular, she understands that there's a REASON the war feels very "normal" for the clones and so their reaction to the horrors of it are very different than hers, but she doesn't want to end up becoming numb to the horrors to the point that war starts feeling normal to her because she feels like it would end up making her a worse Jedi down the line. I love the complexity of that, the lack of judgment towards the clones but the recognition that their experiences are very different from hers and she cannot and does not want to be like them in this.

I also love that there's equal attention paid to Ahsoka's relationships with other Jedi and how distinct THOSE feel from each other because the Jedi are also individual people and not a monolith. Her relationship with Adi Gallia is very different from her relationship with Obi-Wan or Agen Kolar or Kit Fisto and Nahdar Vebb. She learns different things from each of them, intentionally or not, and she likes some of them better than others. I love how much Ahsoka loves her own culture and the different ways we see that expressed, from needing to meditate every day to the many times we hear about her interacting with younglings when she's at the Temple. Ahsoka finally FEELS like a Jedi again here and that identity actually means something to her in a way I think canon has sort-of forgotten or intentionally dismissed.

One of the things I think this fic REALLY does well is taking Ahsoka's general irrelevance to the Skywalker Saga and making that a GOOD THING. Ahsoka being Mace's padawan changes nothing. The people who die in canon still die. The war still happens. In general, the missions we know about from TCW still happen and happen almost exactly the same way. Anakin still marries Padme and still joins Palpatine to save her and murders the Jedi. Ahsoka's addition to Anakin's story changes exactly nothing about it because it CAN'T. She isn't the reason he falls, she doesn't save him and never could have, everything he does happens with or without her. So removing her from his story changes exactly nothing about it. But the change in her position within the narrative does change HER. SHE'S impacted by the narrative far more than it can ever be impacted by her. And her irrelevance to the Skywalker Saga doesn't mean she isn't a compelling character anymore, she's almost MORE compelling now than she's ever been before specifically because she's more outside of it and can see it from that perspective. Ahsoka is compelling because she's AHSOKA, not because she's Anakin's padawan the way Felony seems to think. She can be compelling WITHOUT HIM if they would just believe in her ability to tell her own story. And she doesn't need to be relevant to the Skywalker Saga in order for her story to be important simply for being HERS. She has a story to tell and it's a good one, even if nothing major changes because of it.

I love the way that that is woven into the fic because I kept EXPECTING things to change due to Ahsoka not being Mace's padawan. I kept expecting her presence to save some of the people who die during TCW, I kept expecting endings to change somehow, and they just... don't. And even when it DOES, right at the end, when she escapes with some younglings and an injured Mace, and they apparently go on to create an underground Jedi Order, it doesn't change the end of the story in the OT. Luke and Leia still go to Tatooine and Alderaan, they still end up fighting on and over Endor as the final battle, Luke still goes off alone to face Anakin and Palpatine and that confrontation goes exactly the way it did in canon. Ahsoka's presence and the things her new backstory have changed in the background of the narrative have no actual bearing on the major Skywalker Saga. But there are more Jedi survivors in this AU than there are in canon, an entire Order that has been slowly piecing itself together in secrecy for the last 20 years, and even though that doesn't change the actual story, it's not nothing. It's not insignificant that they survived and they're there.

And I think the last thing I will discuss that I absolutely adore about this fic is Anakin's padawan. This character is an OC created seemingly to be a foil for Ahsoka, a mirror into the person she could've been had she ended up with Anakin instead of Mace, a reflection of her canon self even though neither Ahsoka nor this new padawan would ever be able to know that. I love the way that this allows the author to make that comparison for the readers without it being super in your face about it. Ahsoka isn't facing a literal reflection of herself and the new padawan IS her own person with her own personality and struggles, but she still definitely feels like "who Ahsoka would've become if she hadn't been saved by Mace."

The new padawan isn't supported by Anakin, but she's really close with Rex. She ends up feeling almost DEFINED by her years with Anakin and can't really connect to her Jedi upbringing anymore after Order 66 even though she spent far longer without Anakin than she did with him. She's young enough that she can't see the truth about his darkness and defends him to others no matter what, even though she admits after Order 66 that there were signs she can see now and blames herself for not being able to see the truth of them then. She succumbs to her own darkness because it's the path Anakin guided her down and she can't quite figure out how to get back onto the path of a Jedi, no matter how much Ahsoka and Mace try to help her. She's lost, floundering in her own darkness because the person who was supposed to guide her towards balance ended up isolating her from the rest of the Jedi and making her feel dependent on him and then he discarded her like she never mattered to him at all.

And I LOVE how broken and shattered she is, I love how consumed she is by her pain and grief and anger because she's known little else for like two years, I love the way she lashes out because she doesn't know how to control it, I love how difficult she finds it to act like a Jedi anymore, I love how much she feels like she doesn't know who she is anymore. THIS is what I wanted to see Ahsoka struggling with in the aftermath of her revelation about Anakin. THIS is the kind of person I wanted Ahsoka to be in the Ahsoka show. THIS is why I can't agree with anybody saying that she came across as particularly unkind or prickly or broken at the beginning of that show because she really isn't. She's BARELY upset every so often, she's SO calm and in control at all times. I wanted to see her ANGRY, I wanted to see her LOSE CONTROL, I wanted to see her lashing out at people who are just trying to help her because she's lost all sense of who she is in the wake of realizing the person who had guided her on her current path became a monster and she has no idea how much of that has impacted the person she's become and how much it will CONTINUE to impact her going forward. I wanted to see Ahsoka GENUINELY STRUGGLE with the things that have happened to her and see her REALLY changed by it all before being able to come back to herself in the end. And that's not what I was given. Not until this series entered my life, anyway, and it's not even technically happening to Ahsoka herself.

(I'll also point out here that at no point does the padawan ever say anything Jedi critical. Even as an Ahsoka foil who is partially representative of canon Ahsoka, she never falls so far that she blames the Jedi for their own genocide. So despite how much more she's struggling than canon Ahsoka does, she's still a better person than canon Ahsoka has become.)

So if you hated the Ahsoka show, loved the Kenobi show, and want something that's immensely Jedi friendly and Anakin critical that takes things like the war and Order 66 and the ensuing Purge VERY seriously, give this series a whirl. It's definitely an epic (and it's not done yet) and I had to take breaks every so often by reading something a little more light-hearted, but it's SO worth it.

Okay my thought process is that anakin and mace are both "I was doing what was right what had to be done" characters the difference being that when mace says it its legitimately the right thing to do and when anakin says it its a defense for atrocities committed

it's very interesting how the star wars fandom hates saw gerrera because his ideas and methods are considered "too radical" when we see luthen being praised for doing the exact same things, how quickly people jump on the mace windu hate train because apparently anakin falling to the dark side is his fault, and not, you know, anakin's. or palpatine's (the man who literally groomed anakin from day 1). and now people think that cinta was an asshole because of how she treated vel in the last few episodes? the recurring theme is that the rebellion comes first, always, and that the people in it "take what's left". besties they're literally fighting fascism but you draw the line at a character being a bit too cold for your tastes? c'mon.

by "it's very interesting" i meant "isn't it fucking racist" btw

Generally envy the bitches on twitter right now trying to insist Mace Windu and Martha Jones and Finn won't victims of racist hatred in fandoms, because what fucking reality are they in and how can I get in.

Ideal TCW Modern AU:

Qui-gon adopted Anakin and Obi-Wan. He disappeared under mysterious circumstances and left everything (including guardianship of Anakin) to Obi-Wan. At this point Obi-wan has met and married Satine. Anakin is still living with them while he finishes up school, and is still secretly married to Padme (they eloped because they were afraid Obi-wan would disapprove of the age difference). Korkie is Satine's nephew who she ended up getting custody of. They're fostering Ahsoka, and Anakin (despite having a rather sibling-like bond with her) wants to adopt her, but has to get his life together first. Satine and Padme are both lawyers and Obi-wan is a professor at the local university. All the other Jedi are professors as well. Quinlan is the crazy neighbor who went to high school with Obi-Wan. Yoda is the mischevious old man who lives across the street. Jocasta Nu is the sweet old librarian that everyone (correctly) suspects used to be MI6. Her goal is to knit ugly Christmas sweaters for the entire faculty. Kit Fisto has the only house on the block with a pool and lets anyone use it so long as they come to his frequent barbecues. He is wearing a hawaiian shirt and bermuda shorts constantly and also has most of his students convinced that his the literal ancient Greek god Poseidon. Plo is a neighbor down the street who has a soft spot for Ahsoka and is her father figure. Mace is the president of both the university and the HOA. The clones are a massive family that somehow all squeeze into a single house across the street from Plo. They all refer to each other as brothers, and no one has any idea how they're all actually related. The Bad Batch are the somewhat estranged relatives that live in an rv traveling around the country and have custody of Omega for some reason. You can set a clock by the time Cody jogs in front of your house in the morning. Rex and Anakin are the same age and have been best friends since high school. Obi-Wan and Cody are also roughly the same age, and met mostly because of Rex and Anakin. Ahsoka and Anakin create shenanigans. Chaos ensues.

Remember in the Zillo Beast episode (yes I have posted abt this ep before and yes I undoubtedly will again) how in the very beginning when they were about tho launch the bomb, it was only Rex and his troops down there in the fire fight? All the Jedi and The Important People™ were up in a tower far away and safe.

Like can you imagine how that convo went down?

Rex:"So the weapon won't harm organic matter?"

Anakin and Windu: *violently nodding* "Yes, exactly!"

Rex:"But it hasn't been tested yet?"

Anakin and Windu:"No no, not yet but it is completely safe!!!"

Rex:"And you say you care about your troops and value each individual man?"

Anakin and Windu: *again, nodding violently* "yesyes, very much!"

Rex:"But... even though you usually lead from the front,,,, you won't be doing that today?"

Anakin and Windu:"Now you're getting it!" *patting Rex on the back* "good luck out there, we believe in you!"

Mace Windu haters: I think Count Dooku is a great person, actually--

Star Wars x song lyrics (part 3?) this the last one

It’s Called: Freefall by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

— Aight I need to go to school; no more posts for now. If anyone sees this, take care of yourself & stay safe!

I feel like if mace wasn't so. Mean to anakin they would've made an amazing team.

That is. It's not to say mace didn't care about anakin as a member of his order, but he certainly didn't like or respect him. Which is fine ya kno. But. I just really wish they could've gotten along cus they would have been amazing together. Just flawless.

Link To The Fic

I rarely read on ffn, it's hard to navigate for me so unless someone specifically links me to a story I normally don't go searching for fics there. That being said, there are thousands of amazing fics on there, I just haven't seen them 😅 If you have any Star Wars recs (or any other fandom really) that are on ffn, send them my way please!

Author exists on ao3, but never fully uploaded this fic onto the website.

i like clone wars but this current arc centers on Jar Jar Binks of all characters and let me tell you the lord is fucking testing me with this one

Genie: I will grant you three wishes, there are no rules. What do you wish for Jedi Skywalker?

Anakin: No more sand, just poof it away. Gone forever.

Genie: Done, you have two more wishes.

Anakin: Pamdé will not die in childbirth

Genie: Done, you have one more wish use it wisely.

Anakin: Every time Mace Windu says my name he will always address me as Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker.

Genie: Something so simple, it is done

Anakin: ;-)

Mace Windu: WHO GAVE THIS DROID A LIGHTSABER?! JEDI MASTER ANAKIN SKYWALKER GET YOUR ASS IN HERE.

shout out to star wars: brotherhood for single-handedly getting me back into star wars. also fuck you, eat shit, how dare you

I hate Ahsoka I hate Ahsoka I hate Ahsoka I hate Ahsoka

EDIT: THIS POST IS ABOUT TALES OF THE JEDI “RESOLVE”. THIS IS NOT ABOUT REBELS OR THE TITULAR SHOW.