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wheresarizona · 1 year

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Learning to Live Part 16

summary: It’s obvious Javier Peña loves you, it just catches you by surprise how he decides to finally tell you.

rating: E (18+!! No y/n, Soft Javier Peña, alternating pov, unprotected p in v (wrap it up), creampie(s), oral sex (f & m receiving), rimming (f receiving), cockwarming, overstimulation (m), spanking, dirty talk, praise kink, nude photos, Javier begging, love confessions, miscommunication, arguing, angst with a happy ending, period typical sexism, canon typical drug talk, emotions, dysfunctional family, past relationship trauma (Javier), Not Lorraine friendly, Javier’s poor little ass being bruised, Javier being so in love, the most romantic sex I have ever written)

pairing: Javier Peña/f!reader (reader is a nurse with no physical descriptions)

word count: 17.8k+ (This is who I am)

a/n: Here we go! The first draft of this chapter was 3k… I’m as shocked as you are. I know some of the tags aren’t my norm, but I promise it’s a good time and things are resolved quickly. Shoutout to the love of my life @juletheghoul for betaing this. I love you.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

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The time you spent reading had dwindled quite drastically since Javier Peña waltzed his way into your life, and you weren’t necessarily upset about this new development.

Generally, you’d get home from work, shower, have dinner, then unwind by reading or watching a movie, wanting to relax after the busy day. Getting a couple of chapters in before bed was a must, needing it to lull you to sleep; that is, you did, up until Javi showed up, and now your bedtime routine had changed to either getting fucked and being so blissed out that sleep came easily, or laying in bed cuddled up with him while the two of you talked, getting so warm and cozy that you found yourself drifting off in no time.

So, you weren’t getting much reading done, and your to-read pile on the living room bookshelf was haunting you, knowing that at the rate you were going, it’d probably take you years to get through the dozen or so books.

It was a sunny Saturday, and not at all surprising that you’d awoken to a naked Javi pressed against your bare back, his hands ghosting over your skin while his lips trailed over your shoulders and neck, making you smile as you came to.

He’d eaten you out until your legs were shaking, and the sheets below you were wet from your release, Javi telling you he’d take care of washing them after breakfast.

God, there was something about a man taking the initiative.

The windows in your apartment had been opened to let the early sunlight in and to air out the place; Javi not only putting the sheets into the wash but also replacing the bedding and folding the laundry that had been in the dryer, all while you’d tackled organizing the three junk drawers in the kitchen.

It took everything in your power not to suck his dick when he asked if he’d folded your panties okay, knowing you had a special way of bundling them up. You’d approved of his efforts and smothered his face in kisses, him looking very pleased with himself.

When your task was finished, the drawers finally organized, and Javi extremely happy with what you’d done now that he knew where he could find things, you’d decided to spend the afternoon reading.

Settling on the couch, your legs curled underneath you, you’d opened to the first chapter of a book you’d gotten almost two weeks prior. Javi was sitting beside you, so close your bodies touched, his hand on your thigh as he watched tv with the volume low.

This was another very welcome change in your life.

None of your ex-boyfriends would have wanted to spend their Saturday morning cleaning your apartment, then be content to just sit on the couch and watch television while you read.

They would’ve wanted to go out and do something, not waste their day lounging around, always needing to be active when they weren’t working—if you wanted to just relax and spend the day in, you were left to do it alone.

But Javier Peña was different.

All he wanted was to spend time with you, and he didn’t care what you did.

Want to go to the diner for breakfast? He’s down. The farmers market? No problem. Run errands? He’ll drive. Clean the apartment? Tell him what to do, and it will be done. Relax on the couch and read? You’ve got cable, and there’s a Lethal Weapon marathon that will keep him entertained.

Honestly, he was clingy, just not annoyingly so. You found it endearing and adorable how he had to be touching you if he was sitting next to you, a hand on your thigh or feet in his lap, and he loved when you’d lay on top of him; showering with you was essential after work, he honest to god pouted if you took one alone; in bed, you always ended up wrapped in his arms, him seeking you out even in sleep, needing you close. He never let you cook alone, him wanting to help, or at least keep you company, if not distract you a little with some impromptu dancing.

Here you were, cozy on the couch, Javi rubbing circles into the skin just below where your shorts stopped, so caught up in what you were reading you weren’t entirely sure how much time had passed.

The book was surprisingly good and had sucked you in; an orphan boy finding out about a secret magical world and his life changing for the better, reading page after page, chapter after chapter, wanting to know what was going to happen next.

“Want more water, Cielito?” Javi asked.

“Yes, please,” you murmured, eyes glued to the words, but knowing you’d finished your glass in the time you’d read six chapters.

“I’ll be back.”

He squeezed your thigh, groaning as he got up from the couch.

At some point, he returned to set down the cup on the coffee table, letting you know it was there and noticing he didn’t sit back down.

You were engrossed with the story, fascinated by the magic and world-building, and metaphorically on the edge of your seat when suddenly the light of the television was blocked by a mass, realizing Javi was standing in front of you.

“Need something?” you asked, eyes not leaving the book.

“No,” he answered.

“Okay,” you distractedly answered.

He didn’t move, which made you realize he was trying to get your attention.

“Want something?” you asked instead.

“Maybe,” he replied.

Glancing over the pages, he was standing there with his hands on his hips, noticing his damp hair from showering, your eyes taking in the nakedness of his broad shoulders and moving down his chest and soft belly to the tantalizing trail of hair that you knew led to his big di—your eyes went wide when they landed on his crotch.

“Underwear,” you breathed. “Oh my fucking god.” You blindly reached on the table beside you to grab your bookmark to shove between the pages, the book practically getting thrown onto the tabletop.

Your eyes were stuck on his bulge, the white material hiding nothing, seeing the clear outline of his cock, your hand moving without thinking, reaching to touch your fingertips to it, and seeing him noticeably getting harder.

“Holy fuck,” you said, maneuvering on the couch to get on your knees. You took in how they sat on his hips and hugged his thighs, rubbing both your hands up them, feeling the soft material and his muscles flexing, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You fucking spoil me,” you purred. “This is what you grabbed before we left last night?”

The previous night you’d met Javi’s father for the first time, and everything had gone better than you expected, Chucho making you feel welcomed into their family. When you were leaving, Javi had run back into the house for something, and you hadn’t bothered to ask, so caught up in all you’d learned about your boyfriend and his parents.

“Yeah,” he answered, a smirk on his plush lips, looking proud of himself. You couldn’t help pressing your face against his half-hard cock. “If I’d known I’d get this kind of reaction, I would’ve—fuck,” he groaned as you mouthed over him, wetting the boxer briefs with your saliva.

Pressing a loud kiss to his now fully hard dick, you grabbed his hips, leaning back to forcefully make him turn to see how he looked from behind, but he didn’t budge.

Your eyebrows furrowed, confusion showing on your face when you met his eyes.

“Let me see your ass,” you said.

He was frowning.

“I liked what you were doing.”

“And I’ll blow you after I see your butt. I need to know how it looks.”

Grabbing your hands, he held them.

“Or I can eat your pussy?” he bargained.

Your eyes narrowed, realizing something was up.

“Why are you being cagey about this? What’s going on?”

He sighed, looking away, his thumbs rubbing circles on the backs of your hands.

“I just don’t want you looking at it.”

“Because..?”

“I got bit by a horse…” he said slowly and matter of fact.

It was just hitting you that you hadn’t seen his ass since showering after work the previous day. He let you shower by yourself the night before, which you should’ve found suspicious. If he didn’t want you to see it, that meant he knew you were going to freak out, worry swirling in your stomach.

“Javier, how bad is it?” Your tone was serious.

He grimaced.

“It looks worse than it is.”

“Turn around.”

“Baby…”

“With the way you hate clothes, I’m going to see it. Pull off the bandaid, babe. Let me see your ass.”

He let out a long sigh, dropping your hands to perch his own on his hips, slowly turning.

Fuck, he looked amazing in the underwear, the way they clung to the globes of his ass, it taking everything in you not to grab handfuls of him, wanting to squeeze the little bit of butt he had.

Your fingers moved up to the elastic waistband, sliding them under and slowly peeling them down, gasping when you saw his right asscheek.

“Javier Peña, you fucking liar!” you exclaimed, staring at the large black and purple bruise that had to hurt like hell and was about the size of his fist, and his hands were so fucking big. “Please tell me you washed it with soap and water,” you said, automatically going into nurse mode, examining as best you could, needing to make sure he was okay and that it wouldn’t get infected. “Do you want me to pull out my first aid kit? I can put some antibiotic cream on it, and are you up to date on your tetanus shot?” You leaned in closer, gently feeling it. “I can’t tell if he broke the skin, and it can be transmitted through animal bites. Shit, babe, it looks so fucking bad.”

“I’m okay, Cielito,” he sighed. “Washed it when we got back to Pop’s and got a booster the first time that fucker bit me,” he seethed.

“Javi, be real with me. Are you in pain? I can’t believe you sat next to me for hours! Your poor little butt. Do you need some Tylenol? Want me to ice it?”

“It’s fine, baby—I can handle it.” He twisted his upper body to look down at you behind him, his eyes rounded. “I promise I’m okay. Just fucking sore.” He frowned.

“Let me get you some pain medication then,” you said, starting to get up, but he stopped you with a shake of his head.

“Already took some—I’m good.” He gave you a reassuring smile.

Your eyebrow quirked.

“You really took some Tylenol to make sure you could fuck, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” he answered with a smirk.

“And you really thought you could hide your ass from me while wearing underwear? Javier, you know how I feel about your butt.”

“Love it as much as I love yours.”

“Exactly! Oh!” you exclaimed, remembering something.

Leaning forward, you pressed a loud smacking kiss to his bruise, followed by smaller ones all around the area, Javi chuckling.

“Does it feel better?” you asked, meeting his gaze.

He smiled, “Yes, Cielito,” he replied.

“You’re a lying liar who lies,” you accused amusedly. Smiling at him mischievously, you said, “I do know something that will definitely take the pain away, but it has to be administered orally.” You grabbed onto his tiny waist and made him turn around, his cock still hard in his underwear. “God, just look at it,” you marveled.

“Fuck, baby,” Javi groaned, his head falling back. “Keep looking at my dick like that, and I’ll need to put it in you.”

He looked down to meet your eyes, seeing his own had gone darker, his cheeks and chest pinking up.

“I want you in my mouth,” you replied, stroking him over the boxer briefs. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed hard. “Can I, Javi?” you asked. “Can I have your dick in my mouth?”

“Yes, Cielito,” he answered, the words coming out rough. “You can have anything you fucking want.”

Smiling, you hooked your fingers into the waistband, slowly pulling them down to uncover his straining cock and heavy sack, wanting to taste and feel him, your mouth watering at the prospect.

“Have I ever told you,” you started, eyes locked on his as you took him in hand, feeling him hard and hot in your palm. “That you have the prettiest dick?”

The head of him was reddened, a pearl of precum beading at the tip, stroking him up and down.

“Fuck,” he gasped.

“I dream about this dick,” you continued. “Fucking crave it. Want you inside me—my mouth, pussy, ass.” His eyes squeezed shut, groaning loudly, his cock twitching at your words. “You’ve ruined me for all other men, no one could ever compare, but that doesn’t matter because I only want you.”

He met your gaze again, pupils blown wide.

“It’s yours,” he rasped. “It’s only fucking yours—I’m yours, you fucking own me.”

Hearing him say that had your body going warm, your pussy throbbing.

“And I’m yours—all of me belongs to you, Papí.”

A strangled noise came from his throat, his cock twitching in your hand again.

“Take what you want, Cielito.” Desperation was in his tone. “Fuck, do whatever you want. Please.”

Precum was steadily flowing from him, helping your strokes glide. Letting go, you licked your palm, taking him back in hand and gathering spit in your mouth, hovering your head over him as it dripped onto the tip. He groaned when your mouth followed, the heft of him sliding along the broad flat of your tongue and relishing in his taste, moaning around him.

Your hand continued to work his shaft while your head bobbed, letting your saliva coat him, hearing the slick sounds as you worked him over, moans and groans filling the room. His hand went to the back of your head, his eyes on what you were doing, looking up at him as you licked from base to tip, and swirled your tongue around the crown, his mouth falling open in a gasped fuck.

Moving back down again, you went lower, drawing a ball into your mouth, sucking on the delicate skin, Javi moaning loudly, his eyes squeezing shut with furrowed brows.

“Shit, baby,” he panted. “So fucking good—so good to me.”

At the tip, you let more spit fall onto him, taking him back into your mouth, your hand like a sheath around the base of him, pumping easily from how wet it was, while your head bowed forward, letting him hit the back of your throat before swallowing him down.

He was breathing hard, his fingers digging into your hair as his hard cock carved out space in your throat, tears pooling in your eyes, saliva dripping out the corners of your lips. His dick was so solid, loving how it felt inside you, humming appreciatively around him that earned a punched-out groan that shot straight to your cunt, making you clench hard.

You were so turned on, loving the noises he was making and hearing just how much he was enjoying himself.

“Gonna make me come,” he groaned. “Don’t wanna come down your throat.”

Coming off of him, you were panting, his dick glistening as your hand wetly stroked him.

Looking up through your lashes, seeing his attention on you, you asked huskily, “Where do you want to come? My face?” You pressed your breasts together in your shirt. “My tits? On my ass?”

“Fuck,” he breathed, his eyes wild, looking wrecked with his pinched brow and the gorgeous flush all over his skin. “Wanna be inside you.”

A grin turned up on your lips.

“Of course, you want to finish inside. You’re fucking addicted to cream pies.” You rubbed your hands up his thighs, feeling the muscles tighten. “You like coming inside me, baby?” you asked. “Love filling me up—knowing you’re the only one who gets to?”

His cock jerked.

“Shit, fuck,” he gasped. “Yes, please, Cielito.” His eyes had gone round, pleading. “Please, baby. Can I fuck your pussy? Wanna feel you come around my dick—wanna fuck you full of me. Please.” He was begging, and it thrilled you, your cunt pulsing with want, panties drenched, wanting him as bad as he wanted you.

“How can I say no when you ask so nicely? Javi, baby, you have to know I want you. My pussy is all yours.”

He was on you immediately, his big hands cupping your cheeks as he bent to press his mouth to yours in a hungry kiss, his tongue eagerly licking into your mouth.

It was almost disorienting how quickly he got your clothes off; his lips leaving yours to tug off your shirt and sports bra, pushing down and off his underwear, laughing when his hands grabbed onto your ass, and he practically picked you up, manhandling you onto your back on the couch, his hips slotting into the cradle of your thighs.

He kissed you deeply before sitting up on his knees between your legs, a look of concentration on his face as he pulled off your shorts and panties in one go, dropping them to the floor.

His eyes were locked on your pussy, moaning when he spread open the glossy lips of your sex with two of his fingers.

“Fuck, that’s pretty,” he murmured, his other hand stroking his cock, hearing the slick slide of his hand working. “Look at how fucking wet you are for me, Cielito.” He slid a thick finger through your slit, pressing it inside your sopping entrance. “Mmm, you’re fucking soaked. Bet you don’t even need my fingers.” He pushed in a second, and you gasped, bucking your hips into his hand. His eyes met yours, all dark with want, languidly pumping his digits. “Want me to get you off like this, baby?”

Shaking your head, you answered in a moan, “No—want your dick. Wanna feel it. Love the stretch.”

He smirked.

“Always hungry for my dick.”

“Yes.” You nodded.

His fingers left you, watching as he sucked them clean with a groan.

“Taste so good,” he said, pulling them from his mouth with a wet pop. “Keep your legs open—don’t move.”

He moved toward the coffee table, reaching to grab the Polaroid camera that had been gifted to you both the day before, your heart hammering in your chest, realizing what he wanted to do. Your lip was pulled between your teeth as he looked at you.

“Is this okay?” he asked, holding up the camera.

“Yes.”

“Press your tits together for me.”

Doing as he said, he leaned back, holding the Polaroid camera up to his face.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he said, the flash going off, the device whirring as the picture came out.

The photo was put on the table, Javi’s free hand spreading open your pussy, dipping his head down, his jaw working as he spit onto your clit, getting a shot of the hot saliva dripping down to your opening.

You were so into what he was doing that your cunt was throbbing in tune with your heartbeat.

“I’m gonna fuck my hand looking at these,” he murmured, setting the picture with the other.

“Really?”

He glanced at you, smiling.

“Oh, yeah. If I jerked off right now, I’d be thinking about this tight little pussy.” He cupped his large palm over your center. “Now, I have visuals. Wait—” His hand moved to grip his dick, knees shuffling to get closer so his thighs were flush between your legs, letting his cock drop onto your mons and stomach to see how far he’d reach inside. “Look at that.” The flash went off again. “Shit, what’s that thing you say about your guts?” He asked, meeting your eyes, the photograph getting placed with the others.

Saliva and precum were smearing onto your skin, feeling how hot and hard his dick was.

You snorted.

“That I want you to rearrange my guts?”

“Yeah.” He smirked. “I get so deep in there; I really do rearrange your guts.”

You noticed his chest puffing up a little in pride, and it had you lowering your voice to speak in a sultry tone. “Yes, you do,” you purred. “You’re so big, making me feel so full. No one else has ever filled me so good or gotten so deep—only you, Papí.”

His cock twitched.

“Fuck,” he gasped. “One more.”

He pressed his length through your folds to get himself wet, notching at your entrance, your eyes squeezing shut as he pushed in, moaning in unison.

That first stretch was always the best—the slight burn, the way he made space for himself inside your depths, your inner walls hugging him close and pulling him deeper. He slid home in one smooth thrust, your back arching at how fucking good it felt to have him filling you.

“Fuck, Javi,” you breathed.

The camera went off, and you knew it was a picture of him inside you, making your cunt clench.

“Shit,” Javi groaned.

There was the sound of him setting the camera down on the coffee table.

His big hands gripped your thighs to hold you open, rocking his hips, letting you feel his thick cock move slowly in and out of you.

“You feel so fucking good, baby,” he rasped. His hand pressed to your lower stomach over where his dick was inside you. “Always take me so fucking well.”

“So good,” you whined.

He was sliding along all those spots that made your toes curl, loving how full you felt, how deep he went, filling you so perfectly it took your breath away. He sped up, getting into a steady rhythm that had his hips slapping into yours, hearing the rough sounds from his throat and the wet suck of your pussy taking him.

You were panting out breaths, feeling the heat in your belly starting to build with every deep kiss of his cock inside you, pushing in and pulling out, your head fuzzy with pleasure. He pressed his thumb against your clit, making you gasp from the shock of ecstasy shooting to your core.

“Want you to come for me,” he said through gritted teeth and heavy breaths. “Wanna feel you, Cielito.”

It felt like every nerve in your body was lit up, your skin hot and buzzing, the fire in your core growing hotter and hotter while soft sounds spilled from your lips.

You were getting closer, moaning louder, it building higher and higher.

“I know you’re almost there—fucking fluttering. Give it to me.”

He was thrusting harder, his thumb moving faster.

“Soak my dick, Cielito. Come.”

His order had you shattering, coming with a cry of his name, your body clenching up so tight he had to slow to a grind, letting out a long, low groan.

“My good girl,” he said thickly. “So fucking good to me, baby. Shit.”

Waves of pleasure radiated through your body, him drawing them out with every thrust, letting you ride it out, your pussy pulsing around him.

She was so fucking gorgeous, spread out for him on this couch, his eyes locked on her pussy, all wet and puffy, swallowing his dick to the hilt. He took in her body—the sheen of sweat on her skin, her eyes closed, lips parted, her perfect tits rising and falling as she panted.

She looked absolutely blissed out, pride swelling in his chest that he was the one to make her feel like that—that he was the only one that got to feel her come while balls deep inside her.

Fuck, his dick was throbbing, heart pounding, knowing he was close to his own end, waiting for her high to subside, shallowly thrusting into her wet heat.

The moment her breathing got under control, and she relaxed, Javier was pulling out, seeing her eyes spring open in surprise.

“Want you on your knees,” he grunted, grabbing her legs that were bracketing his hips and helping her flip onto her belly, pulling her ass up by the waist to get her into position, shuffling her knees apart so he had more space.

And if it wasn’t the prettiest sight, seeing her all open and ready for him, his tongue peeking out between his lips, wanting to taste the slick that had dribbled down between her asscheeks to her tight hole, mesmerized by how it shined in the light of the room.

Looking over her shoulder, their eyes met, causing a sharp spike of arousal to shoot down his spine at her lust-blown gaze.

“You gonna fuck me?” she purred, wiggling her backside.

“Maybe,” he replied, seeing her eyebrows crease in confusion.

His knees sunk into the couch cushion as he shuffled back a little, slapping both of his hands down on the plump flesh of her ass, hearing her moan as he grabbed handfuls, squeezing it hard and spreading her open.

“Fucking love this ass,” he growled.

He bent his head, gathering spit on his tongue and letting it drip onto her asshole, following that up by licking a stripe from her entrance back up to the tight ring of muscle, groaning into her sensitive skin at the salty-sweet tang enveloping his tastebuds, her tasting so good.

“Oh, fuck,” she whined.

His hand moved to squeeze the base of his cock, needing to restrict the blood flow and calm himself down, the flat of his tongue lapping at her hole, feeling like fire was prickling under his skin, hungry for more of her taste—working himself up almost to his breaking point, needing to stop before he stained the couch in his come.

He pressed a kiss to her asscheek before sinking his teeth into her skin, leaving a slight imprint as he sat up, taking his dick in hand, not wasting any time to sheathe himself back inside her drenched cunt—the way she cried out his name made him jerk inside her, and his breath go shaky, a low groan rumbling from his chest.

Shit, he was so fucking hard he could probably fuck her through a brick wall.

His fingers dug into her hips, swallowing hard at how tight and warm she was, her pussy fluttering around him, pulling out until just the tip of him remained, and thrusting back in, setting up an even rhythm that had her moaning.

“Love being inside you, baby,” he groaned, looking down to see his wet cock disappearing inside her. “Push back on me—get me deep.”

“Yes,” she gasped, pushing her ass back, Javi meeting her over and over, the wet slap of their bodies colliding sounding in the room.

He wanted to get her off again, but pleasure had his stomach knotting up, fucking into her harder, the tight squeeze of her cunt overwhelming him, compelling him, making him lose his fucking mind at how good she felt—he was fucked, gone, he’d hit the point of no return, his balls tightening up.

“Shit,” he grunted, pounding into her, “fuck, fuck, fuck, no.”

His cock thickened, pushing into her hard one last time, a strangled moan ripping from his throat, his come flooding her hot depths, gushing into her. He rolled his hips with a shuddering hiss to get it deeper until it was too much for him, coming to a stop while euphoria coursed through his body.

He felt wrung out and dreamy, wanting to touch her, needing to feel her skin, practically collapsing as he blanketed himself over her back, shoving his nose into her neck to breathe her in.

“‘M sorry,” he slurred. “Mmm, you smell so fucking good.”

She giggled.

“You came really hard, huh, baby?” she asked.

“Yeah.” He nuzzled his face against the side of her head, holding himself up on an arm beside her own, and moving his other hand under her body to the apex of her thighs, feeling her tense when he rubbed her wet clit—his dick so tender that when she clenched around him, his eyes rolled back in his head, moaning at the sensitivity.

He was panting, sweat soaking his skin, pushing through the discomfort of her pulsing around him to keep circling her swollen nub—her arms and legs trembling, soft sounds spilling from her mouth as he worked her up, her body crumbling to the couch, him going with her, using one forearm to keep his upper body off of her.

His cock was still hard, it feeling like his nerves were on fire, shallowly thrusting until the pain became pleasurable again, the familiar heat building in his gut.

He pressed his lips to her ear, asking through gritted teeth, “You gonna come for me, Cielito?” His hips fucked into her faster. “Gonna be my good girl?”

“Yes, Papí,” she whimpered. “So, close.”

His eyes squeezed shut at the knife-sharp pleasure that cut through him from her words, his wet strokes moving in and out of her, his insides getting hotter and thicker as he built her up—her mewling beneath him, stoking the flames in his belly.

He kept going, feeling her pussy contracting, arousal dripping down his dick and coating his balls, her finally seizing up beneath him as she came choking him inside her and squeezing him so tight that it sent him with her—the pressure inside him expanding to the point Javier was coming with a shuddering groan, pulsing inside her, pumping her full of himself.

Pleasure washed through him, grinding his hips, the slide of his cock making his come leak out and around him, stilling when it all became too much. To make her more comfortable, his arm wrapped around her middle, him turning them on their sides while he stayed inside, spooning her from behind.

The TV's low volume and heavy breaths filled the room, Javi kissing her bare shoulder, rubbing his hand over her belly, and moving up to grab her breast.

“Did you come again..?” she panted.

“Yeah,” he answered breathlessly.

He kissed her neck, loving the scent of her shampoo and how it made him feel warm and cozy.

“That has to be a record. You usually need a break.”

“Finished too quickly, had to make up for it.”

“...What?” she sounded confused, finally catching her breath. “You were a gentleman and made me come before you. How did you finish too quickly?”

He buried his face in her hair.

“Wanted to get you off again,” his muffled voice said.

There was a pause before she spoke.

“Babe?” She put her hand over his on her breast, lacing their fingers together.

“Yes, Cielito?”

“I know you’re really into making me orgasm so many times my legs turn to jelly, and I can barely speak, but you know one is enough, right?”

He pulled his head back, eyebrows dipping together.

“What..?” he asked.

“We don’t need to have spectacular mind-blowing sex every single time.”

“Why… not?” His heart had sped up, nerves making his chest feel uncomfortable. “Do you not like how we fuck?” he asked uneasily.

“Pause. Can you pull out real quick?”

He did as she asked, feeling confused, and worried that he’d done something wrong, her flipping around to face him, pressing her hand to his jaw and looking him in the eyes.

“Thank god, I got the couch protector. There is so much come dripping out of me right now.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, frowning.

She smiled reassuringly.

“Nothing to apologize about. I enjoyed myself very much—all nice and stuffed full.” She beamed, arousal stirring in his belly at the thought.

Her fingers ghosted over his cheek and up to press into his sweat-damp hair, stroking lovingly through it. Fuck, he loved when she played with his hair; he always turned to putty under her touch.

“Now, back to what we were talking about,” she said. “I love how we fuck, very much. Like, best sex of my entire life, and you’ve ruined me for anybody else—I love fucking you.”

He could hear it coming. “But…?” he asked.

“But, sometimes, I just like how you feel inside me and how close we are, and god, the kissing. It’s the connection and being with you, doing something so intimate. I don’t know. I just feel closer to you when we have sex, baring myself not just literally, but metaphorically, too, because I’m comfortable with you, I trust you, I lo–like—” She stumbled, eyes widening, his heart stuttering “—like you so fucking much. Javi, you’re the only man I’m genuinely okay fucking with the lights on.” Suddenly panic came over her face, her eyes getting big, “Fuck! The windows!”

She started getting up, and he kept her where she was with his hand on her hip, Javier saying quickly, “I already closed them.”

Her head rose to look over the couch armrest to the back windows, then in the direction of their feet to the large front windows, seeing that they were all shut with the blinds and curtains closed.

She let out a breath, moving to kiss him hard, her fingers tangling in his hair. He moaned against her lips, loving her mouth on his, kissing until she broke away, smiling.

“This is what I mean,” she said. “You thought to close up the apartment before initiating sex because you care about me and wouldn’t want to put me in a compromising situation when you know I’m thinking with my pussy.”

“You’re the one that initiated.”

Her eyes narrowed, poking him in his bare chest.

“Because you seduced me by wearing underwear!”

He smirked, grabbing her hand to kiss her knuckles.

“I’d think it’d turn you on more if I was naked.”

Her eyebrow rose.

“Javier, you’re constantly naked. You put on clothes, and suddenly I’m a Victorian woman going into hysterics over the slightest sliver of skin because I know what’s underneath—the feeling ten times worse when you’re in underwear or sweats ‘cause it’s like you’re teasing me, just Mr. Look-at-me-naked-from-the-waist-up-you-know-what-I’m-hiding. So, yeah, it fucking gets me.”

He was well aware, able to see her undressing him in her mind, and it always went straight to his dick.

“I know,” he replied. “Can tell by how you look at me.”

He kissed her.

“You fucking tease,” she murmured into his lips.

“How I feel when you wear your dresses—know I can just lift it up and pull down your panties.”

He was kissing her deeper, his hand grabbing her ass. She pulled back to pointedly look at him.

“You’re distracting me,” she said, making him pout. “As I was saying, I can trust you, and I like the closeness of fucking you, and every time doesn’t need to be toe-curling orgasm central. It’s cheesy as fuck, and I honestly cringe at saying it out loud, but I’d love to, god—” Her eyes squeezed shut, her face pinched in disgust “—it’s so gross. I’d love… to…” She was really struggling, and he wanted to know what was making her so uncomfortable. “Make… love… with… you,” she finally forced out. “Oh, yuck.” Her nose crinkled when she looked at him.

The difficulty it took for her to say it had his stomach dropping, insecurity squeezing his chest tight. He swallowed hard, eyes darting away from her.

“I don’t think you do…” he said slowly.

“Fuck.” She cradled his cheek. “Please, look at me.” He did, her looking apologetic. “I can see how I came off, and I’m sorry, it’s not you; it’s the fucking phrase.”

“Okay..?”

He was so fucking bewildered trying to follow along with everything she was saying, not sure what she meant about making love but understanding the things she said about the connection and closeness during sex, he felt it, too. When he’s inside her, it feels like everything is right in the world, and it’s where he’s supposed to be. He just wasn’t sure what she meant about only one orgasm or not every time needing to be mind-blowing—it was all he had to offer.

Javier was broken, his head fucked from everything with Lorraine and Colombia, trying to do his fucking best navigating this new relationship, not knowing what the fuck he was doing. Cielito tried hard to guide him like a bright star on the horizon, leading him, helping him, but what did he bring to the table aside from knowing how to make her come? He didn’t think his love and devotion were enough; she needed more—deserved more, and all he had to give was his body, wanting to make her feel so fucking good that she wouldn’t want him to leave.

And she’s not happy with what he has to offer—at least, that’s what he thought she was trying to say.

The day before came to mind when she told him she felt the same, that she loved him, too, but would wait for him to say it first, and that gave him hope that maybe he just wasn’t understanding this conversation—his worries getting the better of him, which was a problem of his; spiraling, something negative having him play out all of the worst case scenarios and making dread wash over him thinking the other shoe was about to drop.

He took a deep breath, his hand flexing, listening intently, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

“You know how people hate the word moist?” she asked. “Like it makes their skin crawl and is just so cringy?” She shuddered.

“Yeah, it’s the same in Spanish. People don’t like húmedo, which means the same thing.”

“Love that it’s universal. I have the same kind of aversion to the phrase-that-shall-not-be-named.”

He was curious. “Why?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s overused by people who think sex is a dirty word, and ‘fuck’ is just way too profane for their sensibilities, but they aren’t actually… making love.” She cringed. “It’s usually the guy getting off without a care for his partner—so, basically, it makes me think of really bad heterosexual sex, and it’s gross.”

Javier snorted.

“This is why we fuck,” he pointed out.

She grimaced, and he frowned, rubbing his hand over her back, needing to feel her, grounding himself in her comfort.

“I would like to do the real thing with you…” she said softly.

“I’m sorry…?”

What did she mean?

“To me, I think it’s the perfect way to describe that really tender, intimate fucking where you’re staring into each other's eyes, and taking your time, just enjoying one another. There’s no rush, no pressure to make the other person come over and over, it’s just being in the moment with your partner and feeling it, you know? I wanna do that with you.”

His eyebrows were in his hairline.

“You do?” he whispered.

She smiled, nodding, “Yeah, I do, very much, ‘cause I don’t know if you’re aware, Javi—I really fucking like you. A lot, and I’d be so into it.”

“Oh.”

He was stunned.

She stroked his cheek, worry etched on her features as she asked, “Are you okay, babe?”

It took him a second to wrap his brain around it.

“You don’t care how many times I get you off…” he started. “You just want to have sex with me because you like it… You like me, and not how many times I make you come…?”

That didn’t seem right…

“One orgasm is enough. Multiple isn’t necessary, but sometimes nice,” she answered, shrugging her shoulder. “I like the intimacy and don’t care how many times you get me off. You finishing before you wanted was totally fine—it’s honestly really fucking sexy that you couldn’t hold out, like, fuck, I got you that worked up? Me? Makes a girl feel really good about herself.”

He saw in her eyes that she was telling the truth, and his mouth fell open.

Her eyebrows furrowed, asking, “Why do you look so surprised?”

“Fuck,” he sighed, closing his eyes tight. “You like me.”

“I more than like you, but yes, I do.”

Hearing her say it out loud made his heart pick up in speed.

“Shit, I’m so fucking stupid.”

“Javier, what’s going on?”

He looked at her, seeing the concern on her face.

“A long time ago, fuck,” he sighed. “A long time ago, with my ex—”

“What the fuck did Lorraine do?” she cut him off, seething.

A smile crept up on his lips, warmth filling his veins at how protective she always got over him.

“It’s okay, baby,” he said, rubbing her back. “It was so fucking long ago, but, uh, one time I came too quick, and she bit my head off about not getting her off.”

“You made her come during foreplay, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… Figured it wouldn’t be a big deal, so I let myself go, and she got so fucking mad.”

“That greedy bitch.”

“I should’ve seen it sooner—I can’t believe I was so fucking dumb.”

“About dating her?”

“Yes. My mom tried to warn me, and I fucking brushed her off because I thought she was just being overprotective ‘cause I was her only kid, su bendición, her blessing.” He sighed. “Pop told me when I came back from Colombia the first go around that they knew she was using me to get back at her dad—he thought I wasn’t good enough and fucking hated me dating her. And it’s taken me over fifteen fucking years to realize she was using me for sex, too. She didn’t want me,” he spat, anger simmering in his gut. “She wanted my body and what I could fucking do with it.” His eyes were beginning to burn, pressing his hand to Cielito’s cheek, swallowing hard, his voice thicker when he said, “You want me. You like me. You care about me, and I thought the only fucking thing I have worth anything to give you in return is my body.” A tear rolled down his cheek.

“Javi,” you gasped, tears brimming your eyes, so utterly upset by what he just said. Guilt had your chest aching, thinking about how he’d wanted to take things slow at the beginning—the three dates he wanted to go on before sex, and now it was dawning on you how important that was to him. “I really fucking hope I haven’t made you feel like all I want from you is sex—you know, right, that I more than like you, and the sex is just a bonus?”

“Cielito, baby, I know.” He stroked your cheek, his eyes rounded. “Our relationship is so fucking good, and I’ve felt every goddamn day since I met you how much you care about me. It’s just—” He sighed “—in the back of my mind, I wonder what the fuck I have to offer you?”

It broke your heart how he didn’t see his worth, answering quickly, “You, Javi, not your body, but you, just you,” you said. “You cherish me, you care about me, too, and show me every day with the things you do and say that aren’t even sexy. Do you have any idea how much I love that you wanted to spend time with me today while I read? It made me so happy because none of my exes would’ve wanted to do that, and you keep my water refilled, which is so fucking romantic. I like your company. I like being with you and talking to you. I like everything about you, even if you get into your head sometimes.” You smoothed your hand through his hair. “But Javi, I more than like you a lot, and you give me so much—offer me so much of yourself, and I have never been happier in my entire life.”

“It’s enough?” He asked, barely above a whisper, and you could see the worry in his eyes.

You took his hand from your face, lacing your fingers together.

“It’s more than enough, it will always be enough. You’re enough.”

His eyes were rimmed red, smiling as he crushed his mouth against yours in a searing kiss that lasted until your lungs protested with a need for oxygen, Javi pulling you into his body and holding you close.

Learning about Javi’s past over the last two days had given you a clearer picture of who he was and what he’d been through. He was like a puzzle that, since the first time you spoke, you’ve been putting together piece by piece, starting with the edges—him telling you some of his favorite things and about his job with the DEA; a large chunk in the middle coming together with the story of Lorraine, filling the rest of it in with little clusters of information he’d revealed, and at this point, it was almost completed, there was just this one big empty part in a corner that was still missing—Colombia, and all of the horrors he’d gone through. One day he’ll tell you, and you’ll be there to hold him tight and kiss away the memories.

Time passed, both of you cleaning up, getting dressed, putting the couch protector in the wash, and ordering food to be delivered.

The entire pizza was eaten, the box lying open on the coffee table with six empty beer bottles surrounding the cardboard. You were sitting in Javi’s lap, his arms wrapped around you with your head resting on his bare shoulder, the man only wearing sweats as you both watched the first Lethal Weapon movie, the marathon having started over.

The characters work for the Los Angeles Police Department, one of them being a sergeant in the narcotics division, and it had you wondering something while you watch.

“Javi?”

“Yes, Cielito?” he asked, kissing your hair.

“What made you decide to become a cop?”

He took a deep breath.

“You know how we’re on the border with Mexico?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s a fuck ton of drug smuggling. I couldn’t show you all of Pop’s land, but the Rio Grande runs along it, and if you go out to the edge of the property, sometimes you can spot people on boats.”

“Maybe they’re fishing? Enjoying the sun? Not all boats on the river are smugglers...”

“Right.” He didn’t sound convinced and frankly a bit paranoid. “Well, somehow, even with a heavy fucking border patrol presence and the DEA breathing down their necks, drugs are getting into Laredo—my money’s on the river.”

“I can tell. So, you’ve just always hated drugs?”

“No.”

“No?”

Turning your head, you looked at his face, Javi meeting your eyes.

“When I started elementary school, I didn’t speak a single word of English—had no idea what the fuck anyone was saying. They had me in the ESL program, but my regular teacher didn’t know Spanish, and I struggled. The kid I shared a desk with helped me.” There was a sad smile on his lips. “His name was Neil, and he came from one of the wealthier families in town, so he had a nanny who’d taught him some Spanish—he was my first best friend. If you remember from the photo albums, the random white kid with the curly brown hair, that was him.” You nodded. Chucho had said it was Javi’s friend when you’d been going through pictures, remembering him popping up through the ages they were in elementary school, not recalling if he was in any of the later photos. “As we got older, we drifted apart. His dad’s a hardass. He got into high school and pretty much wasn’t allowed to do anything that wasn’t academic or fucking extracurriculars ‘cause his dad wanted him to get into a big university. It was a lot of pressure, and he started smoking pot freshman year to relax—he got me to try it.”

You gasped dramatically.

“Javier, you snorted the mari-j-uana? You? A narc?”

His eyes narrowed.

“Did you just call me a fucking narc..? Snorted..? You don’t snort weed, baby…”

“That’s something a narc would say,” you teased.

He pinched your thigh, making you giggle.

“I smoked it and didn’t like it. Not my thing—prefer booze.”

“Like the narc you are,” you said, kissing his cheek.

Javi sighed.

“By junior year,” he continued, “he was under a lot of pressure, and I guess he asked his dealer for something stronger.” He inhaled deeply, letting the air out slowly, before he spoke again, “Kid overdosed.”

“No,” you gasped for real this time. “I’m so sorry, Javi.” Throwing your arms around his neck, you hugged him, Javi pulling you closer.

“Yeah, it was fucked.” There was an edge of anger in his tone. “They caught the guy who sold it to him, but at that time, police didn’t give a fuck about cocaine possession, pretty much got a slap on the fucking wrist, and they didn’t bother finding out his supplier. A great fucking kid with his whole life ahead of him, dead, and the man who caused it was out before I went off to college—didn’t sit right with me that Neil didn’t get any fucking justice.”

“And so you helped take down Pablo Escobar and the Cali Cartel—Jesus Christ, Javier, you don’t fuck around. I think Neil would be proud of what you accomplished.”

“Maybe.”

The frown was evident in his voice, leaning back to look at his face. It was clear what he was thinking, asking him, “Why don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

His eyes were on yours, “There’s still all the shit here.” He swallowed. “I was asked to go to Mexico after I took down Cali, but I was so fucking tired of all the bullshit.”

You could see the exhaustion, sliding your fingers through the hair above each of his ears.

“Babe, you’re one man. I know you want justice and to right all the wrongs, but you can’t single-handedly dismantle the drug trade—you did more than enough. Rest, let other people handle it.”

He let out a long sigh.

“You’re right, Cielito.” He smiled softly. “I’ve got you now, and I’m so fucking happy about it.”

You smiled back.

“Good,” you replied, leaning in to kiss him.

When you pulled back, he asked, “What made you want to be a nurse?”

“Oh, when I was eight, my appendix burst, and I had to be hospitalized.”

“The scar,” he said, touching your belly.

It was so long ago it was barely visible, it surprised you he’d even noticed.

“Yeah, the scar.” You smiled. “My mom stayed home with my little brother, and aside from my dad being the doctor he is, checking that the surgery was done properly and I was healing okay, I was in the hospital alone for almost a week.”

Javi was frowning. “Nobody was with you…?”

“Nope.” You shrugged. “But, this lovely nurse who had the daytime shift would keep me company as much as possible and make sure I wasn’t lonely. She was wonderful and so fucking funny. I just knew I wanted to be exactly like her—I wanted to make being in the hospital less scary and people smile even when they’re feeling miserable. So, nursing.”

His hand came up to cup your jaw, looking deep into your eyes.

“It’s the perfect job for you—you’re so fucking warm and bright that I know people love you taking care of them ‘cause I sure as fuck do.”

It felt like you were melting at the sincerity in his voice.

“That’s very sweet of you, but you’re not my patient,” you said. “You’re my boyfriend and get special boyfriend treatment, they just get silly jokes and compassion.”

“What’s the special boyfriend treatment?” He asked, head tilting in interest.

“Cuddles, kisses, naked stuff, food, basically anything you want from me is yours.”

He pulled you in for a kiss, saying into your lips, “I like the sound of that.”

“I’m glad.”

He broke the kiss, meeting your gaze with a frown, “I’m, uh, gonna be honest—your family has left a bad fucking taste in my mouth, and I’m happy to meet them or talk to them on the phone, but I don’t know how I’d handle them treating you like shit.”

“Well, we’ll have to figure out different plans for Christmas, then.”

His frown deepened.

“You don’t have to skip because of me...”

“Oh, don’t worry.” You waved away his concern. “You’re giving me an excuse, and I’m taking it. It’s bad enough I talk to my mom once a week or so—if I was strong, I’d go no contact, but I’d feel too guilty.”

His eyes were big, the honesty showing as he said, “Whatever you choose to do, baby, I support you, and know that my family will welcome you with open arms.”

“Are you sure?” you asked softly.

He smiled, “Oh, yeah. Pop loves you, and I know everybody else will, too.”

“That makes me happy.”

“You make me happy.”

Laughing, you replied, “You’re so fucking cheesy, but—” you moved your face closer to ghost your lips over his “—I more than like you, a lot.”

“I more than like you a lot, too.” He closed the space kissing you with such passion that you knew what he said was true, those three little words screaming in your brain.

The sun was high up in the sky, the straw cowboy hat atop his head keeping it out of his eyes. It was hotter than hell today, the heat making sweat rise on his skin as he walked over the neatly cut grass, taking the same route he’d taken hundreds of times before, ignoring the slight ache in his knees.

He came to a stop, groaning as he bent down a little to wipe away some dirt that had accumulated on top of the grey stone with one hand. The white leather ring box was slightly discolored from age, not as pristine as it once was. Chucho set it down where he had just cleaned, popping it open, the diamonds on the ring sparkling in the sunlight.

Straightening, he said, “Mi amor, nuestro Javiercito conocio a una chica maravillosa (My love, our Javier met a wonderful girl).”

His eyes tracked over the engraved letters of Antonia’s name, imagining how she’d react to the news, seeing so clearly in his mind that bright smile he’d loved so much and her excitedly saying, ‘Háblame de todo (Tell me everything).’

A smile was on his lips when he continued, “Yo la amo y tú también la amarías (I love her and you would love her too). Él va a casarse con ella y limpie tu anillo de compromiso para cuando él lo quiera (He’s going to marry her, and I had your engagement ring cleaned for when he wants it). I’m probably jumping the gun,” he chuckled. “Pero sabes que soy un romántico (But you know I’m a romantic).”

“Ojalá pudieras ver lo feliz que está con ella (I wish you could see how happy he is with her). Todo sonrisas, mi amor (All smiles, my love). Los que nos perdimos y pensé que nunca volveríamos a ver (The ones we missed and thought we’d never see again).”

His eyes were starting to water, feeling his throat get tight.

“Él está contento otra vez (He’s happy again). Ayer pasé horas con ella y ella es perfecta para el (I spent hours with her yesterday and she is perfect for him). Ella es amable, y muy divertida (She is kind and very funny). Puedo ver cuánto lo ama (I can see how much she loves him).”

He chuckled again, thinking about what Javi’s Cielito had said the day before.

“Ella dijo que mataría por probar tu comida (She said she would murder to try your food). Hubieron cocinado juntos y Javiercito los habría distraído a ambos (You would have cooked together and Javier would have distracted you both).” Chucho laughed.

“Ellos son buenos juntos, mi amor (They are good together, my love). Me recuerdan a nosotros y estarán juntos para siempre, también (They remind me of us and they will be together forever, too).” He pressed a hand to the stone. “Te amo, mi media naranja (I love you, my soulmate). Déjame contarte sobre mi semana (Let me tell you about my week)...”

One month later…

The cordless phone was pressed to your ear, using your shoulder to keep it in place while you cooked, not paying attention to what your mother was saying, seeing as she’d been going on and on for the last—you checked your watch—fifteen minutes about how perfect your little brother was and all of the amazing things he’d done since the last time you spoke a week prior.

“...and they’ve decided to try for another baby,” your mom gushed, unable to stop the look of disgust on your face.

“Wow, that’s so exciting,” you replied, not sounding excited at all.

It was honestly such an odd thing how couples were so happy to announce they were having unprotected sex to their friends and family.

Javi was running late coming over after work because he had an errand to do. The sauce was simmering in the pan, the noodles boiling, and the side salad was already prepared in a bowl on the kitchen table.

“It’s high time you started thinking about settling down,” she said, making you groan, not wanting to have this discussion. “You know, your father was in Boston this weekend at a surgeon’s conference—he was the keynote speaker and ran into Daniel—Dr. Andrews. I miss Daniel, he was so wonderful and talented. I heard he’s up for an award for a new procedure he invented. Whatever happened between you two?”

Daniel Andrews was a cardiothoracic surgeon you’d met five years ago while working at a hospital in Dallas. He was pretty with his blue eyes, perfectly styled hair, and clean-shaven face, honestly surprised he’d taken an interest in you, and so you’d dated for about six months—him even meeting your family, but it definitely wasn’t meant to last.

“Remember he had the accident?” you replied.

“What accident?”

“When he slipped and fell into another nurse’s vagina.”

“That is so vulgar!” She sounded appalled, and it made you smile. “Why are you like this? If you weren’t so… independent, you could find a nice doctor to settle down with, have his children, and become a stay-at-home mother like your sister-in-law.”

“Wow, mom, it’s not the fifties anymore, and some women like having careers and don’t want to make motherhood their entire identity. I’m happy she loves being at home with her kids, but that’s not something that calls to me—I love working, and if I had children, I’d keep working after they were born, and my partner and I would have equal responsibility taking care of them.”

She scoffed.

“It’s the mother’s job to rear the children while her husband provides for the family.”

“I think you personally just caused a regression in women’s rights, and another thing—” You were getting heated. “—I don’t need to meet a ‘nice doctor,’ I’m dating a wonderful man, thank you very much.”

“The farmer?” The disdain was evident in her tone, and it pissed you off.

With how your parents had welcomed your exes and how charming Javier was, you assumed they’d like him, too, especially since he’s so amazing. It was your mistake to make assumptions because when you finally revealed you were seeing someone, and your mother asked what he did at the hospital, finding out he didn’t work there, she was not very welcoming and outright dismissive of your relationship.

“I’ve told you multiple times he’s a rancher—Javier told you he’s a rancher on his dad’s ranch.”

She’d talked to him one night when he’d answered your house phone, and to your absolute horror, she’d grilled him about his job and how much money he made before you could take the receiver from him.

“Right, but he isn’t a serious relationship—just something to work out of your system, and eventually, you’ll meet a man who makes actual money and can take care of you.”

Your blood was boiling, rage making your heart pound, absolutely done with the bullshit.

“We’re very serious, for your information, and I don’t give a flying fuck how much money he makes because I can easily support the both of us with only my job, that I, a woman with a degree, work!” you yelled. There was the sound of knocking on the front door. “Well, I’ve got to go. My very serious boyfriend, who I plan on marrying, is here! Have a nice night, mother,” you spat, ending the call, the phone thudding across the counter.

Quickly, you were heading out of the kitchen, relief washing over you when you pulled open the door to find Javi standing there with a concerned look holding a small bouquet of sunflowers. Seeing him and the flowers, Javi always bringing you a new bouquet every Monday had you going soft.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I thought I heard yelling?”

“My mom,” you sighed, anger flashing across his face.

“Fuck.” He stepped forward to pull you into his arms while still holding the sunflowers, walking you into the apartment and closing the door with his foot, hugging you tight in the entryway.

Leaning back, he held your chin with two fingers, moving to kiss you so tenderly it made your heart squeeze. Breaking it, he looked at you with round eyes, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked.

His presence had calmness spreading through you, so happy he was there.

“I’ll tell you while I finish making dinner.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “I’ll take care of the flowers.”

You smiled. “You’re the best.” Quickly kissing him, Javi toed off his shoes by the front door and emptied his pockets in the bowl on the console table in the entryway, following you back into the kitchen.

You moved the sauce to a cold burner before getting the strainer out of a cabinet, putting it in the sink, and pouring in the pot of noodles while your boyfriend discarded the dead flowers currently on the dining table into the trash. He grabbed scissors, expertly trimming the stems on the new ones before sidling up next to you to fill a clear glass vase with fresh water.

It was nice how comfortable the two of you moved about the kitchen together, Javi bumping his hip against yours and kissing your hair to make you smile, him waiting for you to start talking.

Sighing loudly, you finally spoke, “Like, because I’m not a fucking doctor, the next best thing for me to be is the wife of one, popping out kids and raising them.It’s just so fucking sexist.”

Javi was listening while he arranged the sunflowers in the vase.

“It’s fucked up,” he mused.

Shaking out the rest of the water from the pasta, you continued, “Don’t get me wrong, stay-at-home moms work their asses off, but I never saw myself being one—I wanna be a nurse in a hospital, doing the thing I love.” The noodles were put back into the pot and onto the stove, pouring in the sauce, Javi taking the flowers over to the kitchen table and setting them in the middle. “It’s just so fucking exhausting not being good enough.”

Arms wrapped around your middle, Javi hugging you tight, his mouth at your ear as he whispered, “Fuck what your mom thinks. You’re incredible and hardworking. No one gets to tell you how to live your life.”

It had you going gooey, tears threatening to spill, stirring the pasta.

“Thank you, baby.”

He kissed the side of your neck.

“You’re welcome.”

“Dinners ready.”

“I’ll get water for us.”

The dining room wasn’t much of a room but more of an attachment to the kitchen that featured a two-person table and a window that you’d shut the blinds on so you had privacy while you ate.

The salad bowl was next to the flowers, Javi sitting across from you, each with your plates full of food.

“How are Daphne and Velma?” you asked before taking a bite. Those were the two calves Javi had basically raised from birth that you both jokingly called your bovine children.

A sweet look came over his face, smiling as he said, “Our hijas (daughters) are doing great with the rest of the herd and picked up grazing quickly, but I knew they would.”

He sounds like a proud father, and it makes you wonder if he’d be the same with his human children, deep down, knowing he would—he’d be a fantastic dad, ignoring the sting of sadness that he doesn’t want to be one.

Grinning, you reply, “We’ll have to go have a picnic with them next weekend.”

During the week, sometimes you’d meet Javi out at the ranch after you got off work, and the two of you would sit in his dad’s backyard eating dinner with the two little cows lying down next to you both. With them now out on the land, it’d require a horseback ride, but you loved the picnics and the two girls, who were like giant puppies, always happy to see you guys.

“They’d love it,” he replied. “Any other news?” Javi asked as he started digging into his food with gusto.

“You know, the same shit,” you answered, waving your fork. “Mandatory fifteen to twenty minutes of waxing poetic about my brother. Oh, he’s fucking his wife raw now.”

He choked, coughing as he grabbed his water to take a big drink.

“Sorry!” you exclaimed.

Setting the glass down, his voice was rough, looking confused, “It’s okay—why do you know that..?”

“They’re trying for a baby—like people just broadcast that? ‘We’re trying for a baby,’ wow, thank you so much for letting me know you’re only serving cream pies. My boyfriend fucks me raw on the daily, too. Love when he comes inside me, but I’m not telling my fucking parents.”

His cheeks were flushed, clearing his throat while he reached across the table to hold your free hand. “Baby, are you okay?” he asked gently.

“Yeah, sorry, it wasn’t a good phone call—it’s never a good fucking call, and recently they’ve been worse.”

“I’m sorry.” His thumb stroked over the back of your hand, frowning as he said, “It’s all my fucking fault.”

“Don’t say that,” you replied in a serious tone. “It’s not your fault, and you’ve done nothing wrong. They’re too fucking stuck up, and after today, I think I’m done trying—there’s no point with how set in their ways they are.” You were getting angry again over what your mother had said. “I won’t fucking sit back and let anyone talk shit about you, my family included, so they can get fucked. I’ve got you, and that’s all that fucking matters.”

His eyes were misty, squeezing your hand, saying barely above a whisper, “You’d choose me?”

“I am choosing you. Zero hesitation. Next time she calls, I’m letting her know if she says anything negative, then it’s over, and I won’t be answering anymore.”

He was giving you that look, the one where you could see in his eyes how much he loved you and that he was struggling not to just blurt the words out loud.

“You know I support you,” he said thickly. “Whatever makes you happy.”

“You make me happy.”

He chuckled.

“You make me happy, too. Want me to eat you out after dinner?”

That had you perking up, nodding your head, “Yes, that would be wonderful. I planned to serve you ice cream for dessert, but if you’d prefer pussy…”

He crookedly smiled.

“I always prefer pussy for dessert,” he said, winking, making you laugh.

Focusing on eating, it was quiet as you forked bites into your mouths, Javi groaning around bites. He ate like he hadn’t eaten all day, which you knew was a lie.

“Slow down,” you giggled.

“No. It’s too fucking good.”

His plate was empty before yours, serving himself up seconds and finally taking his time.

He was very nonchalant when he spoke like it wasn’t anything to get excited about, his eyes on his plate, saying after swallowing a bite, “I start a new job next month.”

The sentence had you pausing, your fork inches from your face now in limbo. Your eyebrows knit together, eyes narrowing, trying to process the words, thinking maybe you’d misheard.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” you asked.

“I start a new job next month. Is this a new recipe?”

“Yeah… what do you mean a new job? Like something different at the ranch?”

He’d told you he was happy working for his dad, finding the manual labor pretty relaxing compared to what he’d been doing with the DEA, and preferring the animals to people.

“No,” he answered between bites, shaking his head. “Sheriff hired me.”

“The Sheriff hired you…?”

Why would he want to get back into law enforcement? He’d been through so much in South America and put it all behind him to live his life, and now he was going back? This wasn’t making any sense to you—the DEA exhausted him, he was miserable, and now he suddenly wants to be a cop again?

Finally looking at you, he set his fork down, you doing the same.

“Yeah,” he said. “Since I came back to the states, agencies all over the entire fucking country have been trying to get me to work for them—the Webb County Sheriff has been up my ass about it, making house calls and sending letters trying to get me. I went through all the job offers I’ve gotten, found the one with the best shit, went to the Sheriff today, and told him if he matches it, I’ll work for him. He did.” Javi grinned, looking pleased with himself.

“Okay…” you said slowly. “I’m proud of you for swindling cops, but why are you getting back into law enforcement? I thought you were done after Colombia? What about your dad, the ranch, Daphne and Velma?”

“Our hijas (daughters) will be okay. We can keep going out there during the week, maybe a day on the weekend, if you want. They’ve got all the other cattle to keep them company, but they’d love seeing us, Pop, too.”

“We can do that…”

“And the ranch will keep going without me—they’ve got it handled. It was time I got a job.”

“You have a job.”

“I needed a real job.”

“Your current job is pretty fucking real,” you pointed out.

He sighed, his eyes darting away.

“I need a job that I can support you with,” he said.

That had you so taken aback you jolted.

What was he talking about supporting you? As you told your mom, you made more than enough money to care of both of you... Shit, your mom.

“Javi, is this because my mother gave you the third degree over what you do for work?”

His eyes met yours, his eyebrows furrowing.

“It’s something I’ve been thinking about since we started dating, and your mom sure as fuck didn’t help—but I do need to be able to take care of you.”

Take care of you? What the fuck? Does he expect you to quit your job? You were literally just so fucking upset with your mother for being sexist, her saying it was the man’s job to provide for his family, and now Javi had your hackles rising; this was so unlike him.

“I don’t need you to take care of me financially, Javier,” you said carefully. “Things are perfectly fine how they are, and there’s really no reason for you to be getting a new job.”

You’d thought what the two of you had was great, working similar schedules and spending all of your free time together. If he became a cop, you doubted he’d have that same regularity, expecting he’d work long hours.

He let out a long breath, pressing his fingers to his forehead.

“Things aren’t fine, Cielito.”

Your body tensed, dread coming over you.

“What?” you asked softly, your eyes beginning to burn, afraid of what he was going to say, automatically thinking the worst, like he didn’t want to be with you anymore, or he was unhappy, maybe that he hated your career. You felt sick to your stomach, pushing your plate away.

His hand ran through his hair, meeting your gaze.

“I’ve got money saved from the DEA, and the change Pop pays me to work, but when I think of renting an apartment or buying a fucking house, it’s not enough long term. I’m here all the time, staying over, eating your amazing fucking food, and I haven’t pitched in on your rent and only pick up groceries when you ask. I need a real job to provide you with the life you deserve.”

You had to take a deep breath, processing what he said because now you were upset that he hadn’t been listening about how you wanted to work and didn’t need a man to take care of you. Not once had you mentioned a need for money, frankly living quite comfortably, and this just sounded like he hated that you made more than him, and he needed to save his ego by getting a better-paying job.

“Firstly,” you started, trying to keep your voice even, “I don’t need you to pitch in. I’m happy to offer my home and food to you because you’re my boyfriend, the one I more than like, who always pays when we eat out. Secondly, I was employed and completely self-sufficient before you came along, and I am beyond capable of contributing my share and more for both of us. Thirdly, I will not be told that you need to work a dangerous fucking job that you hated, all for the archaic notion that because you’re the man, you need to ‘support me.’ Not in this house, not ever, Javier.”

His jaw flexed, his right hand clenching, saying in a tone that brokered no argument, “I’m not letting you be the sole provider in this relationship.”

Your eyebrows shot up, your mouth falling open at his audacity, hitting your fucking limit for this shit today.

“Excuse me?” Your voice rose. “You’re not letting me?! Why can’t I, a woman, provide for us?!”

His eyes narrowed in confusion, “What the fuck are you talking about? This has nothing to do with you being a woman. I respect you! I respect women!” he exclaimed, exasperated.

“You said you needed to take care of me and that I couldn’t support us!” you shouted, your chair scraping across the floor as you stood up, staring down at him with your hands on the table. “That doesn’t sound very fucking feminist, Javier! What, are you going to tell me to quit my job, too?! Have me be your good little housewife who waits on you hand and foot?!”

His face reddened, scrunching up in anger, getting up from his seat so forcefully it slammed into the wall behind him, “You’re not getting what I’m fucking saying!” he yelled. “You’re turning this into something it’s fucking not!”

“Then what the FUCK are you trying to say, Javier Jesús?!”

Your heart was pounding hard, blood rushing in your ears, so fucking angry it had your stomach in knots, not believing your sweet boyfriend was being such a dick. He was mad, too, seeing it on his face and how he was so tense, his hands clenched tight at his sides.

He knew you hated your mother implying you needed a man to take care of you, and then he decided it was time to show his true colors and that he wanted to do just that—have you rely on him, be the man of the house, and make the most money. You felt off balance because it made no fucking sense. This was not the Javi you knew and loved. Your Javi respected your job, your hardwork, you, and he’d never take away your agency.

“I’m trying to fucking tell you I love you!” he shouted.

It felt like time had stopped, your eyes going big at his outburst, stunned—speechless—not imagining this would be how he’d finally tell you those three words you’d been waiting so long to hear. It shocked you so much that the hot anger inside you fizzled out as if you were doused in cold water.

It was clear how upset he was with the tears in his eyes, lowering his voice, his words coming out thicker from emotion, “I love you so fucking much,” he continued. “I want to spend the rest of my fucking life with you,” he choked on the last word, a stray tear falling down his cheek. His gaze was locked on yours, seeing the truth in the depths of his eyes. “I love you, Cielito, and me getting a job and wanting to pay for shit isn’t me trying to fucking control you, fuck, I’d never want that. That’s not me. It’s not me being fucking better than you either, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you being a woman.” His fingers slid through his hair, his other hand on his hip. “We’re building our future together, and I want us contributing equally—I don’t think it’s fucking fair that you’re taking the brunt of the money shit.” He inhaled deeply. “I want us to be equals—you’re my equal, my other half, my fuckin’ media naranja (soulmate). I want to share my life with you, share everything with you, and live with you in a bigger apartment or a house, fucking anywhere that I don’t have to see Mrs. Hernandez glaring at me like she wants me dead ‘cause you were screaming my name the night before.”

The last bit had you laughing, tears falling down your cheeks, it all finally making sense. This was your Javi—the man who had the utmost respect for women, hated toxic masculinity, was fair and loved you. He was a good man, the best you knew, and you felt stupid for jumping to conclusions that made zero sense for his character.

Standing up straight, wiping your eyes, and smiling, you replied, “I love you, too, and I’m so happy you said it.”

He ducked his head, looking a bit sheepish.

“I was gonna tell you after dinner…”

“Wait, what?”

Looking at you, he said, “It’s so fucking stupid, and I should’ve told you the moment I knew I loved you, but I was scared. So fucking scared that it was too soon, and it had to be too good to be true, except it wasn’t—it was real.” His hands were on his hips, weight to one side. “A couple of weeks ago, I started figuring my shit out, looking into how much money I had and the cost of living—crunching the fuck out of the numbers. I’ve got a pretty good amount saved up since the government basically paid for everything while I was in Colombia. It’s just not enough for me to retire early—too young. So, it was time for me to return to work because I love you, and we’re equal in everything else, like splitting chores and taking turns cooking. I think we’re pretty fucking good at this relationship shit.”

“I think we are, too,” you giggled.

He smiled, nodding, “Yeah, we are. I got the job, and it just felt like everything came together, you know? The universe or whatever the fuck was confirming we’re meant to be together, that it was fucking time for me to just tell you, and I rehearsed how I would say it on the drive here.” He sighed, “But your mom kinda fucked things up, and you didn’t react to my news the way I thought you would…”

“I’m so sorry, the whole conversation with her was a clusterfuck, and then you hit a nerve.”

“Yeah, some of it’s my fault for not saying the right thing, and I’m sorry for that and also for yelling at you.” He looked at you with puppy dog eyes, a sad frown on his lips. “I didn’t like that shit.”

Guilt was roiling in your gut, feeling so fucking terrible.

“Javi, I am so insanely sorry that I lost my cool and upset you. I’ll do better not to let it happen again and make sure that we communicate like adults.” He nodded. “Are we okay?” you asked.

Smiling, he answered, “Yeah, we’re okay. We’re more than okay.”

“Good.” You felt relieved, your mouth curling in a little smile. “Wanna know a secret?” you asked.

His head slightly tilted in curiosity.

“Yeah?”

“You told me you loved me before you fell asleep Friday night in Spanish.” He’d whispered it when he thought you were sleeping. “I fucking knew you were gonna break soon,” you said, grinning.

Flush appeared on his cheeks, scratching at the back of his neck.

“Shit, I usually wait for you to start snoring.”

“I don’t snore.” It came out defensive. “You snore,” you accused, pointing at him.

He smiled.

“You snore, baby. It’s cute. You wanna know a secret?”

“Is it that you’re lying about me snoring?”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “Something better.”

“Tell me.”

“Remember that first time we went over to Pop’s last month?”

“Yes?”

“That’s the first time que dije te amo en español (I said I love you in Spanish). Told you every night after.”

He, along with some of your coworkers, had been helping you learn Spanish, which was your second language when you were in school.

“Why is that so romantic?” you asked. “Friday, I said it back in English, but, te amo, mi amor (I love you, my love).”

He gave you a beaming smile, pressing his hand over his heart.

“Te amo con todo mi corazón—eres el amor de mi vida (I love you with all my heart—you’re the love of my life).”

There was a possibility you would melt into a puddle, hearing and seeing his devotion for you. Remembering what you were discussing had you sobering up, needing to talk about the matter at hand, worry beginning to well up inside you.

“You’re such a fucking sweetheart! Ugh, I love you so much.” Taking a deep breath, you said, “We’ll get back to being disgustingly in love in a minute. I just need to know why you didn’t talk to me about getting a job? And why you’re doing law enforcement again?” You were frowning, continuing in a softer voice, “You’re going to hate it and be so fucking miserable you’ll end up resenting me.” You worried at your lip between your teeth.

There was no point in sugarcoating your fear. Colombia fucked him up, and he was still recovering from it; going back to that kind of job again won’t be healthy for him—guilt will eat at you because he’d be doing it for you, and he’d absolutely resent you for it, you didn’t see it going any other way.

He looked like he’d been slapped. Suddenly, he was moving around the table, his big hands cradling your face, making you look at him.

“Resent you?” His voice was gentle. “How the fuck—” he choked. “I could never resent you. Cielito, baby, no, I love you too fucking much. It’s nothing like the shit I did with the DEA, I’d be consulting.” His thumbs stroked over your cheeks. “Basically, I’d be doing training and offering my expertise—a fucking office job, really, nothing dangerous, no stress, I get to choose my schedule, so I lined it up with yours. Pays pretty fucking good, too, and uh—“ He looked a little nervous. “—I thought when your lease was up, we could see about getting a bigger place together.”

It was a relief to hear that what he’d be doing at the Sheriff’s department would be different from his previous work; now feeling much better about everything and happy, so fucking happy.

“Javi, I own this apartment,” you said.

His eyes widened in surprise.

“What..?”

“It’s a condo that I bought with cash. The big south-facing windows sold me, and I figured it’d be a better investment than renting,” you answered, shrugging.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Planned on living here at least a year to make sure I loved my job, then wanted to buy a house—need room for more plants and a garden.”

That was your dream, planning on a little house for just you, but now you’d need something a bit bigger with Javi.

He looked a little downtrodden, his eyes moving away from yours.

“Yeah, that’d make sense...”

“Javi?”

Hopeful big brown eyes met yours.

“Yes, Cielito?”

“Wanna move in with me, and then we can buy a house together next year?”

He visibly brightened, thinking his dimpled smile could outshine the sun, a happy chuckle coming from his throat, crushing his mouth against yours, kissing you passionately, reverently, feeling his joy.

“Yes,” he murmured into your lips. “Fuck, yes. Please. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Happiness was overflowing inside you, thinking it would seep out of your pores, flinging your arms around his neck, Javi pulling you into his embrace, holding you so close to his body like he was trying to fuse you together, his mouth never leaving yours.

For so long, you’d known how he felt, seeing it so clearly in how he looked at you, hearing it in the words he said, feeling it in his touches. He may not have said the sentence out loud, but he still made you feel loved regardless. Now you’ve heard those three little words that, when said from his lips, felt like the heavens above had opened wide, showering you in contented bliss, spreading the warm fuzziness through your body, and cementing in your brain that he was it—he was home, and now you’d share a home, a life, and your future with him.

Javier Peña loved you, and you loved him, and nothing else in the world seemed truer than that fact.

Neediness hit you like a freight train, wanting him inside you so badly there was a throbbing ache between your legs, Javi greedily licking into your mouth and swallowing your moans, his tongue tasting every bit of you he could reach.

The tension rose until you couldn’t take it anymore, breaking the kiss, Javi chasing your lips as you leaned back to start opening his shirt's buttons. His hand cupped your jaw, his lust-blown eyes on your face.

“I fucking love you,” he said, moving to kiss you again, your fingers getting the last button undone, pushing the material off his shoulders, him shrugging it off.

Grabbing the bottom of your cotton t-shirt, his mouth left yours to get it over your head.

“I fucking love you, too,” you panted, and he grinned, kissing you hard.

The majority of things Javier and you were on the same page about—pineapple did not belong on pizza, coffee was necessary for survival, Coca-Cola is superior to Pepsi, Star Wars is better than Star Trek—and many more you were having trouble remembering, because you both understood each other so well, that you knew at this moment your clothes needed to come off as soon as possible, and you weren’t making it out of the kitchen.

There was eagerness, impatience, and kissing as you stripped one another—which probably wasn’t the best decision when Javi was trying to peel off one of his socks and ended up falling backward onto his bare ass, the air leaving him in a grunt.

Your hand flew to your mouth, unable to stop yourself from chortling while standing completely nude, him trying his damndest to keep a straight face, laughter sputtering out of him with a big, shining grin.

“Your poor little ass!” you giggled.

The rogue sock was thrown haphazardly, finding yourself pulled down into his naked lap, your knees bracketing his thighs.

“My ass is fine,” he chuckled, his lips finding yours again. Big hands grabbed the globes of your backside, him saying into your lips, “Your ass is more than fine.” Squeezing it and pulling you forward to feel the hard line of his cock pressed between you, making you rub your wet cunt against him, moaning at how it was hitting your clit just right to have sparks igniting in your belly.

“Javi,” you gasped.

Kisses were pressed along your jaw, moving lower to your neck, the roll of your hips coating his length in your arousal.

“God, I love you.” His voice was muffled in your skin. He ducked his head down, pulling your hard nipple into his hot mouth, you moaning at the sharp jolt of pleasure.

“Fuck, Javi, let me sit on your dick,” you whined, wanting to ease the needy ache between your legs.

He came off your stiff peak with a wet pop, meeting your eyes, him looking at you with such a tender expression.

“It’s yours,” he rasped. “I’m yours—I love you.”

Every time he said it, a thrill ran through you, a smile immediately on your lips, the happiness consuming you.

“I love you, too,” you replied, holding his cheeks. “And I’m yours—forever.”

That had him kissing you, feeling him smiling into it, you pushing on him to lay down flat on his back, keeping your mouth on his.

Moving to settle yourself over his hips, you held yourself up with one hand beside his head, the other moving between your bodies, lifting up to guide him to your entrance. Sinking down had you both moaning, feeling him stretching you to your limits, savoring the slight burn as everything pulled taut inside you, so incredibly full when you bottomed out.

He’s been inside you so many times you’ve lost count—double digits? Possibly triple? You’re not sure, and even though you’re intimately familiar with the feeling of his dick filling you, nothing had prepared you for this—it had both of your jaws going slack, your eyes locked on each other, staring in wonder at how perfect it felt. The world faded away. Nothing else mattered but the two of you, your love and devotion; this feeling that mind, body, and soul, you were one person in two bodies, and now you were whole once more.

“Fuck,” Javi whispered in awe.

“Do you feel it, too?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, his hands coming up to your face. His throat worked, swallowing hard, his eyes shinier, voice deeper, raspier, “Te amo tanto, no puedo vivir sin ti, mi Cielito (I love you so much, I can’t live without you, my Cielito).” You could see and hear the honesty in his words, your heart pounding in your chest, feeling the prickle of tears. “No puedo respirar sin ti—me muero sin ti (I can’t breathe without you—I’d die without you).”

“Javier, you can’t just say exceptionally romantic things during sex and make me cry,” you sniffled.

He chuckled, lifting his head to kiss you.

“Yes, I can,” he murmured against your lips, his broad palms moving to skim along your back. Nipping at your chin, he grabbed your ass. “You feel so fucking good. How is it better?”

“Magic.”

He was thinking it over.

“Your pussy is pretty fucking magical.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you giggled, reaching behind you to grab his hand, moving to press it beside his head, one then the other, interlacing your fingers and holding his hands—him happily, letting you pin him down.

“It’s the truth.”

“I’m gonna start calling your dick a ‘magic stick,’” you replied, circling your hips to end the sentence, watching in delight when his mouth fell open.

“You think my dick is magic?” he gasped.

Rocking on him, feeling him so deep inside you, answering breathily, “Absolutely, it’s fucking magic how perfectly it fills me—doesn’t leave any empty room.”

He groaned, his cock jerking inside you, making you smile.

“Can, uh—” he was breathing a little heavier “—can you stay still and kiss me?” he asked, looking up at you with those big eyes of his.

“Of course, baby.” Lowering your head, pressing your body into his, staying seated as you gave him what he wanted, kissing him.

You understood what he wanted completely—that ache in your core quelled by him filling you, loving having him inside you, feeling him throbbing and every vein and ridge pressing up against your sensitive walls, him so hot and hard. Slick was soaking him, gathering where you were joined, knowing it was probably dripping down him, happy to stay like this as long as he wanted, comfortable; Your body relaxing, melting into him, contentedness warming your very soul.

He kissed you fervently, his tongue pressing between your lips to slide along your own, squeezing your hands beside his head, the two of you losing yourselves to each other, basking in one another—your bodies intertwined so tightly, it all blurring where you ended and he began.

It was almost too much how he encompassed everything. Your brain could think of nothing else but him—feeling him, tasting him, hearing him, seeing him, smelling him–it was all Javi, realizing nobody else had ever affected you like he does, nobody else had ever treated you like he does, nobody else had ever loved you like he does.

The saddest part was you were positive that went for family, too—Javier was the only person to ever truly love you, but he was the only man you’ve ever truly loved, too.

The kissing became languid, minutes passing with him stuffed deep inside you, feeling so full and getting worked up from all the emotions you were feeling—happiness, relief, joy, tenderness, love. You were fluttering around him, your tongues tangling, beginning to squirm with the need for friction.

Breaking the kiss, he asked, “Need to come, mi amor?” through labored breaths.

“Yes.”

His hooded eyes showed earnestness, immediately saying, “Use me, Cielito. Take what you need. I’m yours.”

“Fuck, I love you,” she said.

He felt her words in his heart, them dancing across his skin, leaving warmth in their wake that seeped down into his bones, pretty sure he might be drunk on her—feeling euphoric, floaty, so unbelievably happy that it should be illegal. This was the high they tried to achieve in manufacturing drugs, something so addictive the user won’t want to stop, and Javier was hooked; addicted, gone, letting himself enjoy this bliss and the high of hearing her tell him she loved him.

She loved him.

It was embarrassing how giddy it made him feel, and it wasn’t like he didn’t know how she felt—she’d made it known without saying the words, leaving little doubt in his mind. Everything she did, and said, made Javier feel how much she loved him, but hearing her say the sentence out loud made it real; it brought life to the three little words that would title the next chapter of their lives together and solidified how they felt for each other.

Add in her asking him to move in with her, and he was the happiest man on the entire fucking planet.

His throbbing cock was buried to the root inside her, feeling her velvety walls pulsing, burning around him, so wet he could feel her dripping, soaking him in her slick. Sweat had their bodies sticking together, neither giving a single fuck, her face so close he could feel her breathing.

“I love you, too,” he replied. He’d never tire of saying it, planning to tell her every single day for the rest of their lives because she needed to know—she had to be aware of how he felt and that his love for her grew stronger the longer they were together.

Her mouth collided with his in a heated kiss that was over too soon. Unclasping her hands from his, she moved them to his chest, leveraging herself to sit up on top of him. A small noise left his throat as she rolled her hips. His fingers itched to touch her, grabbing her hips before moving over the soft, supple skin of her belly, up to palm the familiar weight of her breasts, her breath hitching when he tweaked her pebbled nipples between his fingers.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he husked.

The shitty hanging light over the dining room table glowed behind her, making her look ethereal, angelic, a goddess above him chasing her bliss. He was enraptured by how she looked with her eyes fluttering closed and lips parted, watching her throat work as she swallowed her moans—thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the entire world, and she loved him.

She started moving, working herself up and down his dick, her body shivering in pleasure, feeling her cunt squeezing him tightly as she slickly slid along him. She felt so fucking good that it had his breath going shaky, his heart hammering in his chest. The pressure was slowly building at the base of his spine, so turned on by how she was riding him, finding it so fucking sexy watching her take what she needed and using him to feel good.

It was true that he loved getting her off and probably knew her body as well as his own, learning all the little things that turned her on and got her there. He was aware that if he played with her clit, it’d have her coming quickly; teasing her tits enough could get her to finish, too, but he wasn’t the one calling the shots right now; she was in control—she had the power, and he’d do anything she asked.

Her heavy-lidded eyes met his, making his cock twitch.

“Touch me,” she moaned.

Quickly he was pressing his thumb to her clit, rubbing it the way he knew she liked it, his mouth falling open when she clenched around him. Her moans were getting louder, it getting even wetter between her legs, and he knew she was almost there.

He was breathing hard. “You gonna come, Cielito?” he asked. “You gonna let me feel you?”

“Yes,” she gasped. “So close.”

“I know you are, baby.” He pressed a little harder. “Wanna feel you come. Can you do that for me, mi amor? Be my good girl and come for me?”

“Yes, Javi,” she moaned.

Her thighs were quivering, and the way her cunt was beginning to spasm had him feeling dizzy, ignoring the heat growing in his belly.

“Dámelo, mi amor, give it to me. (Give it to me, my love).”

It wasn’t much longer that her body was tensing up, crying out his name as she came, her clenching down hard around him.

“So good to me,” he groaned. “My good girl. Te amo, mi Cielito (I love you, my Cielito).”

He grit his teeth, grabbing onto her ass, and started thrusting up into her to extend her high, grunting as he pistoned. Her moans were stuttered, digging her nails into his chest, and when he came to a stop, needing to catch his breath, she’d left half-moon imprints in his skin.

“I’m gonna marry you one day,” she croaked.

His head came up to look at her.

“What?” he panted.

She had a lazy smile on her lips.

“I’m gonna marry the man I love one day, and that’s you.” She poked him in the chest.

A laugh escaped him at how adorably fucked out of her mind she looked, groaning as he moved to sit up, an arm around her back to keep her on him, spreading his legs with her in his lap.

They were face to face now, him smiling.

Leaning in, he nudged his nose against hers. “You’re gonna marry me one day, huh?” he asked.

She slid the fingers of one hand into the hair at the back of his head, pressing the other to his cheek.

“Oh, yeah. You’re my dream man; you check off all of my boxes.”

Her thighs were on either side of his hips, his hands gripping her ass, helping her to start moving on him, pressing a soft kiss to her chin.

“What’s on the list?” he asked against her skin, moving to peck one side of her mouth, then the other.

“He’s gotta be loyal.”

“I am,” he replied, kissing her jaw.

She was sinking down his hard cock slowly, canting her hips to get a better angle.

“He’s gotta love me.”

“I do.” A peck to her cheek.

She listed the items, rising up on her knees and falling back down, Javier responding, kissing anywhere he could reach that wasn’t her lips.

“Considerate.”

“I try.” One over her pulse point.

“Affectionate.”

“Always.” A kiss to the tip of her nose.

There wasn’t any rush, her rocking in his lap, sliding along his length smoothly, her inner walls massaging him.

“Romantic.”

“I am,” he said, pecking the side of her mouth again.

“Fun.”

His lips paused, her continuing to slowly ride him.

“Maybe?”

“You are.”

“I am.” He smiled, kissing her other cheek.

“Easy going.”

“I try.” A press of his lips under her jaw.

“Gives me his pickles.”

That had his head coming up to meet her eyes, his eyebrow quirked.

“My dick?” he asked.

She gave him a look, slowing to a grind, her arousal wetting his lap.

“I said ‘pickles,’ not ‘pickle,’ Javier. Literal pickles.” A smirk pulled up on her face. “But, yeah, your dick, too.”

He chuckled, finally kissing her mouth.

“You can have both,” he murmured into her lips.

She held onto his shoulders as she started moving faster, his mouth falling open in a moan, her all warm and wet, fucking herself on his cock. The knot was tightening in his belly, their eyes locked on each other, groaning when she nipped at his bottom lip.

He could feel himself getting closer, her slowing down, grinding on him as they lazily kissed before pressing their foreheads together. They stared into each other’s glazed-over eyes while they shared breaths, him helping her move with his grip on her ass.

There wasn’t any other place he’d rather be than right here, with the woman he loved, who he knew without a doubt he was going to marry one day.

She picked up in pace again, sweat beading on her forehead, his lap wet from her slick, letting her control the speed and intensity. Javier was happily at her mercy, feeling their connection of the love they shared, taking their time, and being in the moment—zero pressure, just doing what felt good and enjoying one another. They found themselves kissing when the need became too high, wanting to feel the other’s mouth—quick kisses or drawn-out ones, biting lips, and tangling tongues.

He knew he’d come soon, could feel it building inside him, but wanting to stay like this for as long as possible.

Through panting breaths, she asked, “What’s on your dream girl list?”

He was so fucking lost with her fucking him that he answered in a weak voice, “What?”

“Your dream girl. What’s on your list?”

There was only one answer that was coming through his pleasure-addled brain.

“You,” he gasped.

She grinned.

“I love you,” she said.

He was quick to reply, “I love you, too.” Kissing her until it got sloppy, breaking apart when she started riding him fast and hard, Javier’s eyes squeezing shut, whimpering, his body trembling with the tension winding tighter inside him—he was so close, knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer.

His eyes went wide when she clenched around him on a downstroke, her continuing to do it.

“Oh, fuck,” he whined.

A knowing smirk was on her lips.

“You gonna come for me, Javi, baby?” she panted.

She was doing it on purpose, riding him hard and tightening up to squeeze his dick over and over, trying to fucking finish him.

He smacked her ass, making her laugh.

“You’re—” he gulped, it hard to speak when it felt like he was going to explode “—you’re playing fucking dirty.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

His insides were burning up, the pressure getting to the point that he was done for. It was over—his cock thickening, falling over the edge with a guttural moan, her sitting flush against him as he came, gushing so deep inside her he’d be in her for days.

Euphoria had his mind going blank and body lax, her pulling his head into her tits, cushioning him on the pillowy softness as he came down.

He was in heaven.

Both literally and figuratively.

Your fingers rubbed through Javi’s sweat-soaked hair, his face pressed into your bosom.

His shoulders started shaking before you felt his hot breaths and heard his muffled laughter.

“What’s so funny, Chuckles?” you asked.

He said something into your chest, unable to make out the words.

“Gonna need you to get out of the boobies.”

Lifting his head, he looked beyond amused, him trying to hold back his laughs.

“You’re my Cielito,” he said.

“Yes…”

“My little heaven.” Air left his nose in a snort, having to compose himself. “I’m literally inside heaven.” His breath sputtered, his eyes crinkling at the edges as a short burst of laughter sounded from him, ending in his body silently quaking, smiling from ear to ear. You couldn’t keep a straight face, joining in the merriment.

“You’re so fucking dumb,” you laughed, playfully slapping his shoulder.

His arms pulled you in for a hug, shoving your face in his neck, the two of you working out the giggles in your system, bodies shaking against each other.

It took a minute for him to calm down, finally saying, “But you love me.” He pressed a kiss to your hair, his hands rubbing along your bare back.

“I do.” Moving your head to look into his eyes. “I love you very much.”

His chocolate brown eyes were shining brightly, giving you a dimpled grin.

“I love you, too, Cielito.” He kissed you sweetly, pulling back to hold your face, as he said, “Mi vida estaría vacía sin ti (My life would be empty without you). Te amo más que a nada y soy feliz de compartir de mi vida contigo a mi lado (I love you more than anything and I’m happy to share my life with you by my side). Eres el amor de mi vida y mi media naranja (You are the love of my life and my soulmate). Te amo, mi Cielito (I love you, my Cielito).” Your eyes were watering, holding the tears at bay, his lips pressing against yours in a tender kiss that had you sighing happily. Breaking it, he asked, “Do you need me to translate?”

“No.” You shook your head. “I got it, and you can’t just say exceptionally romantic things after post sex giggles to make me cry.” You were so fucking happy, it was taking everything in you to keep from crying. “It’s rude.”

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled. He kissed you, saying into your lips, “I’m gonna keep doing it, because I love you, Cielito—mi amor (my love).”

“I love you, too, Javi.”

“My back is gonna be fucked,” he said between kisses.

“I really fucking love you, too.”

“Fuck, I love you.”

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Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know!

Tagging: @theorganasolo @nicolethered @lola766 @nessamc @vanemando15 @fiscinthirst @melancholyy-hill @hnt-escape @sherala007 @jadesabre83 @rainbeaubrightchild @blub-senpai @pedrohoe04 @theherothesavior @captain-creampuff @javiersjeans @zetasaturno99 @amb11 @lovedbyth3sun @siidereeus @marvelousmermaid @mrszdjarin @themarcusmoreno @woomen23 @ms-loverman-066 @star-wars-fan-2005 @kissing-stars @chloeinpink @lupinshouseelf @notyourlovemonkey @unofficialavenger90 @tumblertatiana @fictionismyreality @sheetsof-lennon @damnyoupedro @katareyoudrilling @iamskyereads @enjoyourlattebitch @daddydindjarin @absurdthirst @kirsteng42 @littlemisspascal @athalien @thevoiceinyourheadx @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @girlofchaos @mswarriorbabe80 @theewokingdead @guess-my-next-obsession

#pedro pascal #Javier peña #javier peña/reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña smut #wheresarizona writes #learning to live series

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btsgotjams27 · 2 years

Text

this is us ~ jjk | masterlist

How could you possibly forget him? You couldn't even if you wanted to. You wanted to extract core memories of the two of you and store them in a pensieve for safekeeping, so you could revisit them whenever you missed him, but magic isn't real, and the fairytale of you and him isn't either. You were just a writer caught up in your fantasies, living in daydreams, escaping reality, and projecting your hopes and dreams onto an imperfect person--what a fool you were. But yet, this is you. This is him. This is the story of us.

✨ title: this is us | completed (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader ✨ word count: 159k | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap ✨ warnings: language, kissing, alcohol consumption, significant age gap (9 years), noona kink, recreational drug use (edibles), girlxgirl kiss, insecure reader, crappy mom, jungkook's nipple is pierced, cheating, toxic ex's (jk's & readers), talks of miscarriage/inhospitable uterus, flashbacks to 18-year-old jk, reader slaps someone, accidental voyeurism, heartbreak, time skip, eventual happy ending, there is a lot of emotional trauma and this story is pretty much a rollercoaster of emotions, love confessions, longing, pining ✨ smut warnings: jungkook + reader attempt to have sex in a hot tub and fail, allusions to sex, LOTS of teasing and touching, blindfold kink, masturbation(f), unprotected sex, oral sex (m,f), creampie, rough sex, rough oral (m receiving), 69, jungkook is a tease but so is reader, non-penetrative sex, fingering, breast play, light anal play, protected sex ✨ a/n: hiii, this is a sequel to all grown up! if you've read it here, then you can read the sequel :) this is probably one of my favorite series, and this couple has a special place in my heart. ✨ a/n 2: have a drabble request for any of my couples? drop them here and i'll do my best to fulfill them! ✨ read on AO3 & Wattpad ✨ playlist | ✨ quiz: which tiu character are you? | how well do you know tiu? ✨ tags: fic: this is us | tiu couples mood boards | tiu asks | tiu ramblings | ask my muse | tiu pin board | character profiles

✨ one - this is how you fall in love | wc: 5.5k ➥ you start to fall hard for jungkook.

✨ two - back hugs and peppered kisses | wc: 4.3k ➥ when you're stressed, jungkook has a way to help.

✨ three - hot tubs and clubs pt 1 | wc: 10k ➥ you get to meet jungkook's college friends during a weekend getaway.

✨ four - hot tubs and clubs pt 2 | wc: 5.0k ➥ jimin and taehyung want to party before they leave.

✨ five - daydreams and stargazing | wc: 4.2k ➥ you finally talk to jungkook about the conversation you overheard.

✨ six - it's not all rainbows and butterflies | wc: 5.6k ➥ after a hard conversation with your mother, you learn some new things about yourself.

✨ drabble - girl's night | wc: 2.0k ➥ a fun girl's night with yuna and hyunie.

✨ drabble - the reveal | wc: 4.0k ➥ jungkook sees the photos you took with hyunie.

✨ seven - party of three | wc: 5.4k ➥ you find out yuna's big secret and reveal one of your own.

✨ eight - a blast from the past pt 1 | wc: 5.5k ➥ a blast from jungkook's past comes to stir shit up.

✨ nine - a blast from the past pt 2 ~ the college years | wc: 8.3k ➥ jungkook feels guilty about what he did.

✨ ten - a blast from the past pt 3 | wc: 10.3k ➥ jungkook finally admits what's been on his mind.

✨ eleven - the call | wc: 7.8k ➥ you receive an unexpected call.

✨ twelve - i do | wc: 6.3k ➥ you finally find hyunie, amongst other things.

✨ thirteen - heartbreak hotel pt 1 | wc: 6.6k ➥ after a few weeks apart, you have to tell jungkook what's happening.

✨ fourteen - heartbreak hotel pt 2 | wc: 8.6k ➥ jungkook makes a decision that will change the course of his life.

✨ fifteen - here comes baby | wc: 5.4k ➥ let's have that baby, shall we?

✨ drabble - it'll be okay (jk) | wc: 891 ➥ a small glimpse of life in LA

✨ sixteen - so maybe you're not okay | wc: 5.4k ➥ six months later and you're still not over jungkook, and when you finally hit rock bottom, you realize you have to pick yourself up because no one else can do it for you.

✨ seventeen - one year later | wc: 8.8k ➥ it's been one year since the breakup, have jungkook and y/n been able to move on?

✨ eighteen - you're seeing things, aren't you? | wc: 10.9k ➥ you're dreading the meeting in LA, but it's a big city. you're not gonna bump into jungkook, are you?

✨ drabble - dream bigger, darling | wc: 1.3k

✨ nineteen - together again | wc: 9.7k ➥ after three long weeks, you and jungkook reunite.

✨ twenty - ending credits | wc: 9.2k ➥ you finally get your happy ending.

✨ epilogue - us | wc 5.9k

✨ TIU deleted scene

➥ TIU Celebration | Podcast Episode

➥ drabbles 01 - jk + oc compete who thinks iseul will say mama/dada first 02 - jk telling his family he’s coming back home 03 - jk gives oc his photo album 04 - iseul's bedtime routine 05 - jk, joon + tae look after all the girls 06 - indie + hani meet baby iseul

➥ ama

#jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #fic: this is us #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook angst #jungkook x you #bts x you #bts x reader #bts angst #jungkook romance #jungkook drama #jungkook noona #jungkook x y/n

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three--rings · 1 year

Text

Vegaspete Recs

I had been thinking of making this list for a while, but @kprecfest has made me actually do it.

Assume all of these are kinky and contain less than perfectly healthy bdsm dynamics. In absolutely no order at all.

Fics Set During Canon:

like a trigger, get me ready to shoot by Lise aka @veliseraptor (M, 6K) Vegas POV character study, looking at his sadism, his violence, and his sexual history, leading up to keeping Pete prisoner and then Pete leaving. Ends on a down note due to canon, but really well-explored.

Starving, Faithful by nonplussed (M, 19K) - Missing scenes from Pete’s POV between the shootout and the final VP scene in ep 14. A little sad and angsty, a little soft, nicely done.

Post-Canon Relationship Negotiation Fics:

This is really the flavor of VP I went looking for the most, so it’s gonna be a long list.

The Storm Never Came by heyitsathrowaway (E, 4K) Set immediately upon Vegas waking up in the hospital, this fic aches with Vegas’s POV and issues and his initial reluctance to give in to how he really wants to treat Pete.

lion in my living room by Pettecal72 (E, 6K) A very sharp Vegas POV fic of his recovery, Pete bullying him into letting himself be cared for, and Vegas finally letting himself let go enough to be really mean to Pete in bed.

begging to bleed by Lise aka @veliseraptor (E, 10K) - Pete gets tired of Vegas being careful with him, demands Vegas stop being nice. Vegas rises to the challenge. Very, very hot.

yes, love can be the violence by dustbottle (E, 8K) - A long, slow recovery, with a good dollop of angst and pain along the way, but also some very soft romantic stuff, and kinky smutty bits, too.

my desire that you feed by evashougouki (E, 4K) - Of all of these this is very possibly my favorite. This fic has SHARP edges and it hurts in the very best way. Vegas and Pete are hurting, especially Vegas. They bury their feelings in sex, after talking about it a little.

Post-Canon Plot Fics:

I struggled with the category for these, since using ‘plot’ is misleading. They are still mostly porn. But they involve a new status quo for Vegaspete, them settled into their life together, maybe having a few adventures or interacting with the rest of the cast.

okay, baby, here’s the leash by ThirdActLove (E, 5K) - Vegas and Pete attend their first mafia gathering post canon, right after Vegas gives Pete a diamond collar to wear. Sexy showing off of their kinks in public, tension with the main family, lovely smut.

give me your trust, look me in the eyes and confess your lust by petes_vegas (E, 43K) Okay look is this basically 43 K of smut? Yes, yes it is. Pete and Vegas have a competition to see which of them can make the other come more in a 24 hour period.

i fill you up, drink from my cup by petes_vegas (E, 7K) - Pete and Vegas have a fight right before going to a mafia gathering and both try to make each other jealous...

I’ll Swear That I Love You by YourKnightOfRage (E, 45K) - 3 years post canon, Pete wakes up from an accident with amnesia. Last he remembered he was Vegas’s captive. Vegas and everyone else have to help him learn to trust and settle into his life again. Really fascinating look at a future for the couple, as well as exploring their past in a different way. Also really very soft because it’s in the context of them as a happily married couple (with Venice as their kid.)

AU Fics:

Silver Circle by greygerbil (E, 16K) - Fake relationship, enemies to lovers fic in which Pete agrees/is forced to pretend to be Vegas’s new boyfriend/partner for plot reasons. Vegas enjoys making him uncomfortable by making him play sub for him, except they both enjoy it...a lot.

If You Had Something to Lose by @raelle-writing (E, 169K, WIP) - This is the monster of this rec post, a currently updating WIP at 15 chapters/? This is the only WIP I’m super actively reading right now, which is how much I’m enjoying it. Pete is a college student who saves Vegas (still a mafia heir) from some yakuza. They strike up a casual sexual relationship that ends up drawing Pete into Vegas’s world and not being so casual at all. Side Kinn/Porsche in which Porsche is also just a random college student. And also Chay/Macau. There’s a reason this fic is approaching 200K.

There are other fics I’m either in the middle of reading or have tabs open on or whatever, this is by no means exhaustive.

#kinnporsche #vegaspete #kprecfest #threerings' recs #vegaspete recs #this will be my only post for the fest since I'm leaving town soon #feel free to tag authors if you know them #I was extra lazy in checking for tumblr names

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boysbeloving · 27 days

Note

Something that doesn't get enough recognition in the fandom is how new and inexperienced Mile is in the entertainment industry. He has been passionate and talented about music forever and released a few songs, did some mvs and mostly did mall catwalks when he was younger.

He didn't really do modelling or photoshoots or fashion or acting. Kinn wasn't his first leading role, it was his first acting role in a television/streaming ever. In his latest Harper's bazzar men's cover interview he talked about how he isn't very experienced in fashion shoots but worked hard to learn and now he's regularly on covers and fashion spreads in magazines.

Like this is a man who has very quickly had to learn and develop very quickly in just the past few years while literally working with industry veterans and the crazy thing is he seems so confident and assured while literally still technically being a newbie is crazy.

You can tell in interviews he still feels like a newbie sometimes and doesn't feel as secure in work as you would expect considering his output but he works so damn hard at his craft that I can't believe he is only about 3 years into this industry.

OH MY DEAR NONNIIIIIEEEEE YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE ME REASONS TO HYPE MY MAN I'M ALWAYS HYPING HIM!!!

he's really all that isn't he *hearteyes him*

yes he's relatively new to the long-format acting gig and his acting is QUITE good....i was HIGHLY impressed with him in KinnPorsche...his screentime in Man Suang doesn't give him too much space to display his acting capabilities to the fullest i feel...that's my personal opinion...but yes....he does the whole domineering thing and the goofy thing and the controlled sadness thing very well....also the sex thing....he does the sex thing very well too

about photoshoots and modelling, i believe mile has done some modelling in his early years...coz he has been in some magazines....but ofc to be on covers and do brand photoshoots etc must be a whole different level of expertise and yes i agree he would have had to learn things very quickly and catch up to be on a professional model level

one thing is for sure....the man LOVES getting his pictures taken lolololololololol...look at his insta....he's posed here and there and done his own personal photoshoot (employing his mum and his brother to take his pics while he looks into the distance lolololol) and ofc the selfies that he's taken....so yes, he knows his good angles i think and it would have helped in the photoshoots he has to be part of nowadays....i would also like to mention that apo has been his partner in many of the photoshoots and it's great that there's this comfort level between mile and apo and therefore these things go smoothly...also apo's professional experience would come in handy...all his learning from the couple photoshoots could be pu into practice when mile does his solo photoshoots (i do want to mention that i HATE all dior clothing and i would MUCH RATHER see mile nude, flaccid dick and all, than in those horrendous clothes....but i understand that monies...so yeah.....)

i haven't had the time to listen to his latest interviews (real life has been super busy and lately i've just been contemplating mortality AGAIN so there's THAT) but there's no denying that mile works very hard...he works hard and is good at what he does and picks up new things to learn and does it well and all that just feeds into my competency kink so i thank him from the bottom of my heart for keeping me horny always 🙏

#mile phakphum #mile phakphum romsaithong #thanks for the ask nonnie! <3

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welldonebeca · 1 year

Text

Sweetpea

Summary: You come back to your hometown and meet the Walker family again after years of babysitting for them. Stella and August are happy to see you back. Cordell is surprised to see you all grown. A.K.A: Cordell Walker fucks his nanny. Pairing: Cordell Walker x F!Reader Warning: A little tension. Angst. A lot of slowburn. Fluff. Sexual tension. Sex dreams. Mentions of masturbation. Smut. Love confessions. Pet names. Daddy kink. Size kink. Praising kink. Degrading kink. Unsafe sex. Size difference. Fluff.

Masterlist

"Sweetpea" is being posted on my Patreon every Friday! To read it, subscribe to my page, it's just $2 a month!

Keep reading for a peek into the story.

"Do I know that?" he asked.

You chuckled a little.

"It's Mean Girls," you told him. "2000s classic."

He turned to you, squinting a little.

"Are you speaking as a communicator or as a friend?"

You giggled.

"Both," you told him. "It is known as one of the most significant pieces of work from that decade."

Cordell chuckled, settling on his own seat - a large armchair next to the couch.

"Here," he extended an arm to you. "I got you a beer."

You picked the can from his hand.

You weren't the biggest fan of beer, but it was alright.

"So you're staying?" you looked at him.

He shrugged.

"Yeah, it's... good," he spoke slowly.

You had to hold back a chuckle. It was, but he wasn't exactly the demographic for it.

Still, he sat down and watched, and while you loved Mean Girls, it was pretty hard to focus on it with Walker right there by your side.

He looked so calm and relaxed, completely focused on the screen as he drank slowly from the can.

You couldn't help the way you traced him. His hands, his bears, his eyes... his lips. They all raced through your mind as you tried to get every detail.

"Something on my face?" he asked gently, snapping you out of your daydream.

"Sorry," you mumbled. "Just... looking. Trying to track where you changed, I guess."

And now you had put your foot in your mouth.

"Changed?"

You flushed, looking away.

"I mean, it's been a while. A few years," you tried to explain. "You're not the same guy anymore."

He nodded, and you looked over at him again.

"Stella told me you went undercover this past year," you told him.

Cordell pursed his lips, confirming.

"For ten months," he corrected you.

You rested your head on the seat behind you.

"That's still a lot of time," you told him. "You can make a whole new human in ten months."

He sighed.

"It wasn't easy," he spoke slowly, as if trying to find the words. "I don't like to think about who I was back then. It's not who I am."

You blinked, watching him.

"Well, that's not fully true," you corrected him. "Sometimes when you try to hide yourself, you reveal stuff that you didn't know."

You could see it on his face how uncomfortable he was with the statement, and you could see how he forced himself to smile as he tried to brush you off.

"That's pretty deep," he tapped his beer can. "They teach you that in New York?"

You chuckled.

"Yeah," you confirmed. "I mean, I learned a lot by crashing my friends' classes when I had a couple of free hours."

. . .

Forever Tags: @emoryhemsworth @amythyststorm33 @shaelyn102 @yknott81 @maximofftrash @kgbrenner @thefridgeismybestie @magpiegirl80 @mogaruke @shadowhuntersseries @musicalcoffeebean @megasimpleplan4ever @deemoriarty @05spn18 @malindacath @kdcollinsauthor @random-fandom-fangirl2112 @widowsfics @frozenhuntress67 @averyrogers83 @notyourtypicalrose @nerdypinupcrystal @giruvega

#cordel walker #walker #fanfiction #walker fic #walker smut #walker fluff #walker fanfiction #walker x reader #walker x reader fanfic #walker x reader fanfiction #fic #smut #fluff #slowburn

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cloudlessly-light · 1 year

Note

Would you be able to write something about Hotch and Emily doing some BDSM stuff and Em uses the safe word and they have a conversation about it?

A/N: The goal of kink and BDSM is never to get a partner to use the safeword. It’s there to protect all parties involved. With that said I got this prompt and I ran with it because Hotchniss would be healthy about it. Check the warnings and only read if you are comfortable enough to do so.

Tite: Got me in the dark speaking in tongues Rating: Explicit Wordcount: 3.7k Warnings: Smut, BDSM themes and everything that comes with that, dirty talk, breath play, handcuffs, use of safeword, aftercare

Aaron fell fast and hard for Emily, it was ridiculous, how easy it was to fall for her. But he had refused to admit it to anyone, not even himself. Until Colorado. The realization hit him hard, a punch to the chest as he felt something break inside of him when Benjamin Cyrus beat her and he was standing helpless on the sidelines. Her selflessness, her courage, they were both tiny pieces of her that he loved, and he crashed into the realization that if something happened to her, he didn’t know how to move on.

So when she’s healed enough, he gathered enough courage to ask her out and he’s surprised when she agrees with a simple yes and a smile.

They go on a date and it’s awkward, conversation feeling forced, Emily tense because she has problem differentiating Hotch with Aaron, Aaron nervous because he knows that being on a date with his subordinate is breaking the rules. But he’s a gentleman and he walks her to her door at the end of the night, already prepared for the apologetic excuse to not do this again that he think she’s been planning.

What he should have realized, what he should have known, is that you never can tell what Emily is thinking. And then instead of mumbling about how they shouldn’t do this because they work together, she kisses him. It takes him a moment to respond to it, but when he does it deepens quickly and she moans into his mouth as he pulls her against his body.

“I just needed to try that, see if I can get past the Hotch of it all.” She whispers as they break apart, her forehead pressing against his.

“And can you?” He asks and she grins at him as her hands tighten on his suit.

“Hell yes.”

So they start dating, fall in lust and in love and Aaron finds that being with Emily is more than he’d ever thought. She lets him explore things he’d never thought, she teaches him French in between sips of wine, makes him open up in a way he didn’t think he was capable of anymore and she lets him experience new realms of pleasure.

They had been together for a couple of months when Emily told him about kinks and BDSM, something she had been into for years. He was immediately intrigued, had played around with blindfolds and restraints with Haley but she had never been interested enough to try more, but he was. It starts slow, Emily teaching him about safe words and the communication and trust that they needed for it to be safe, it wasn’t something he didn’t already knew, but was happy to learn more about.

“Have you ever had to use your safe word?” He asked, anger already building at the thought of someone hurting her.

“No.” She squeezed his hand over the table. “Only the pause word once but that was because I had a coughing fit.” She laughed as she remembered one of the feathers from a toy that she accidentally ingested. “But that’s why the words exist, it doesn’t always have to be because it’s gotten to be too much, sometimes things just happen that are beyond our control.”

Aaron nods and kisses her.

“Tell me more.”

So she tells him more, explains what she’s tried and what she likes, what she hasn’t done and what she refuses to do. He’s not surprised that the things she’s not interested in, he isn’t either. He is surprised of the level of pain she sometimes like though.

“I’m not sure I could do that do you.” He says one night after she had told him how she had bruised for weeks after a punishment with a paddle.

“And you don’t have to. You also have your limits honey, it’s not only about the sub. You’re not going to do anything you’re uncomfortable with okay?” She holds his face in her hands to make sure that he listens and doesn’t let go until he nods. “Safe words and aftercare. It’s so important, for everyone involved.”

They build up the scenes with time, Aaron trying out both being the submissive and the dominant and neither of them are surprised when he loves the role of the dominant and quickly opts out of being a submissive, feeling uneasy by something as simple as being restrained.

“I didn’t expect you to like it.” She assures him later with a kiss. “You’re okay though?”

“I’m okay. I knew I wouldn’t like it.” He rolls on top of her and pins her hands above her head with a dark grin. “I know you do though.” They fuck hard and loud and the next morning he realizes that he’s bitten a bruise into the skin of her breast and he’s hard so quick he’s lightheaded.

They do more and more scenes, Aaron finding that restraining Emily and having his way with her is one of his favorites, to have her begging for him, for his touch, for his cum, for anything, is a power rush unlike any other.

Emily was a fan of pain, weather it was from his touch or toys, and as Aaron got more comfortable and wanted to try new things, she found that she would bear a bruise from him somewhere on her body almost all the time. She liked the feeling of it, that he marked her as his.

They were blissfully happy together, until Ian Doyle shows up and tears their lives apart. She runs, tries to end it before it’s truly began but fails. The day he sends her to Paris she’s damaged and broken as her heart breaks for everything they could have been. She knows that he’s just as heartbroken as she is, desperate kisses mixed with tears and soft touches that makes her not want to go forces JJ to take her hand to get her into the plane.

She walks back into his life seven months later and even if neither of them are the same people they were, it’s easy to fall back in love with her. Not that he ever really fell out of love with her.

They start slow, a dinner to see if there’s something still there, a walk as they talk about what has changed, a glass of wine before they rediscover their bodies. He tries not to flinch at the sight of her scars and she comforts him as he tenses above her.

“It’s still me.” She whispered in the dark as his fingers grace the burn on her chest.

“I know. Nothing would ever make me believe different.” He promises with a kiss. “I just don’t like the thought of him having a hold on you even in death.”

“He doesn’t.” She tells him and as she does, she believes it.

They rediscover what they thought was once lost, they come to find that somehow they are stronger. It takes a few months before Emily carefully brings up the one thing they haven’t tried to get back to yet.

“Do you miss it?” She asks as she hands him a blindfold, the red silk slipping through his fingers as he grasps it.

“I do, but I’m not sure if we’re there yet. I don’t know if it’ll be the same.” He throws the blindfold onto the bed and instead pulls her into his arms, his hands firm on her hips.

“I miss it too.” She breathes as his forehead press against hers and she breathes him in. “And there’s only one way to find out.”

“I know. I just… I don’t want to hurt you.” He admits quietly and when he opens his eyes he finds the kind, reassuring smile that always calms him.

“You’re not him honey. But I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want.”

“I want to.” He kisses her with a smile.

It’s slow, just like everything had been since she returned. They talk about limits again, new ones added onto the list of things either of them aren’t comfortable with anymore. Aaron is hesitant to push her too far and Emily painstakingly aware that Aaron doesn’t let go like he once had. But as they slowly get back into it, they both find that the release they found in their dynamic was still there.

Then it’s been almost two years since that night in the warehouse, Emily’s scars faded and as much as she wants the memories to fade as well, they haven’t. Aaron and Emily live together now, have been for a few months, their relationship stronger than ever. But anniversaries were hard and she should have known that.

They had planned a scene, talked it through like always and Emily had been looking forward to it all week. She needed the release of letting go, needed her mind to be blissfully empty of everything that wasn’t Aaron and pleasure and pleasing him.

“Honey, are you home?” She got home purposefully late, something they had agreed on earlier.

“Undress.” His voice sounded from somewhere in the house and she shivered in anticipation.

She hung up her coat, but tossed her shirt on the floor, soon followed by her pants and boots with a smirk. She knew it would annoy him that she didn’t fold the clothes. She looked around but she couldn’t see him, couldn’t hear him either until another demand sounded from somewhere.

“Kneel.”

Emily sunk to her knees silently, hands behind her back and eyes to the floor, but ears trained on any sound. The first thing she noticed was the sound of his shoes against the hardware floor, followed by a pleased hum.

“Aww look at you, pretty thing.” Aaron walked slowly towards her, knew that the closer he got the more she would struggle with her urge to touch him. He stopped only when he was right in front of her and he could see the goosebumps along her skin. “Eyes.”

She immediately looked up at him, eyes wide and pleading as her thighs clenched to relieve some of the pressure between her legs. She forced the whimper down as his warm hand stroked her cheek, then gripped her chin and angled her face.

“Stay still.” His voice had an edge to it as his face turned condescending. “It’s been less than two minutes and you’re already soaked aren’t you?”

“Yes.” She whispered, her cheeks turning pink from the humiliation as another rush of arousal settled uncomfortably between her legs.

“Yes, what?” His hand gripped her chin tighter and this time she did whimper.

“Yes, sir.” She corrected herself immediately and she saw a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Pathetic.” He spat the word lowly and let go of her chin so suddenly she almost fell forward. “Go upstairs and wait for me.” Aaron watched as she crawled towards the stairs, his own want for her making a low growl sound deep in his chest. “Oh and Em,” The sound of his voice stopped her halfway up the stairs. “If I find you touching yourself without permission, you’re not going to like what I do to you.”

She nodded through a low moan, her whole body feeling like it was on fire and he had barely even touched her yet. This is what she had needed all week, could already feel the stress of the week disappearing as she let go of everything besides them.

Aaron waited until she was out of sight before moving through the hallway and towards the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water to bring upstairs, drank his own bottle slowly with a grin. He knew how much she hated waiting, knew that she was probably squirming in anticipation and it made him hard just thinking about it.

After almost ten minutes he slowly made his way up the stairs to join her, the sound of his steps sounding loud in the otherwise quiet house. He suppressed a groan when he found her in the position she knew he’d want her in. Her legs were spread as wide, hands above her head. He could see her muscles tensing, her bottom lip bitten red as her hands clenched while trying to contain the burning desire.

“You’re being so good for me.” He leaned against the doorframe and watched proudly as she stayed completely still. “Someone really needs to come today.”

“Thank you, sir.” She kept her eyes on the ceiling until he was moving to stand beside the bed and put the bottle on the nightstand. When she looked at him her breathing hitched at way his eyes were clouded with arousal. “Please.” She whispered as he dragged a lazy finger over her collarbone, down the valley between her breasts until he stopped at the edge of her panties.

“What are you begging for?”

“You.” It was a needy whine falling from her lips, and in any other situation she would have been embarrassed but it seemed to work as Aaron started to unbutton his shirt. She took the small victory, wanted to sob in relief when he moved on to his pants and boxers.

“Do you think you deserve any kind of relief? Maybe I shouldn’t touch you at all, make you suck me off until I’m coming all over that pretty face of yours?” He kneeled on the bed beside her head and her eyes focused on his hard shaft already leaking precum. “On the other hand, you have been good since you got home.” He mused as if she wasn’t even there, his fingers tangling in her dark hair and pulled hard enough to make her gasp. “Let’s see how badly you want it, hmm?”

Emily was still nodding when he pushed the head of his cock between her lips but she was quick to push herself up on one arm to be able to take him easier. She sucked the tip, licked the precum off him and when she heard his satisfied groan she took more of him, wanting to hear it again. She sucked him as deep as she could, not surprised when his hips jerked against her face to force more of his thick shaft down her throat.

“That’s it. Take it, good girl.” He mumbled through pleasure, his eyes fastened on hers as she stared up at him. They were teary and wide, her dark eyes blown black as she let him fuck her face. He was so captivated by the way she willingly choked and gagged on him that he didn’t notice her hand moving down her body until the moan vibrated around his shaft. His eyes snapped to where her fingers were hidden in her underwear and in an instant he was pulling out of her mouth and forced her hand against the bed.

Emily knew the mistake she had made the second his bruising grip around her wrist pressed into the bed. She jerked at the initial contact, her arousal making her brain hazy as she stared up at his angered face.

“Pathetic slut.” He hissed and she sucked in a breath as he straddled her middle. “I gave you one single order. Do not touch without permission and you can’t even do that right?” He knew he was imposing as he towered over her, made sure to check her face and body for any real distress but found none. He grabbed her other wrist tightly and pinned them both above her head. “Do. Not. Fucking. Move.” He watched as she nodded quickly, bottom lip sucked between her teeth as she stared up at him, eyes somewhere between apologetic and needy.

“I’m sorry.” She tried as he got up from the bed and moved towards the dresser where they kept their toys.

“Quiet.” He didn’t even look at her as he rummaged through one of the drawers, smiled when the metallic handcuffs came into view. “Since you’re being a desperate little whore, I think these are in order, don’t you?”

Emily’s eyes lingered on the silver that gleamed in the soft light of their bedroom. It was a second of unease that she chalked up to not wanting a punishment and then it was gone and she nodded with a pout.

Aaron walked slowly towards her, held the cuffs up and gently clasped one wrist into the cuff before lacing it through their headboard and then secured her other wrist. He watched her as she stayed still, eyes on him as she panted slightly.

“You do not come. Do you understand me?” He ripped her soaked underwear off her hips and fit himself between her spread legs, the heavy weight of his shaft warm on her pelvis.

“Yes, sir.” She agreed instantly, she knew that she didn’t deserve it, not after she disobeyed his order.

He thrust inside of her with one rough push of his hips, a groan leaving him as Emily’s body rocked with the force. His hands held onto her hips as he set a pace hard enough for the bed to move with them, a smirk on his face as Emily’s eyes rolled back and her body arched.

“Feel so good.” He mumbled as he watched the flush on her skin, one hand moving to her throat. He squeezed lightly, happy when Emily only moaned louder.

Emily felt him everywhere, his cock inside of her, his breath on her face, his skin against hers and his warm hand around her airway, pressing just enough to make her lightheaded and she knew that not coming would be impossible. She tried pushing her hips up against his, wanting him even deeper, her arms tugged against the metal around her wrists and then all of a sudden she felt a panic spreading through her body.

The familiar clinking of metal, the cold steel against her skin, she was in the warehouse fighting Ian, his rough hands on her skin, the smell of her burnt flesh, the wood that pierced her body. She remembered all of it, felt all of it and she couldn’t breathe.

“Stop, fuck stop! Red!” She was barely aware that the word left her mouth, was barely aware of anything besides the anxiety bubbling in her chest.

Aaron was off her in less than a second, his fingers already on the key that unlocked the handcuffs as he stared wide eyed at her, at first not sure what to do. He saw the panic in her eyes, her whole body trembling and he quickly laid down beside her but made sure not to touch her.

“You’re safe. Emily baby, look at me.” He waited until her eyes were on him. “I got you, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

It was another few seconds before Emily nodded, her mind frazzled as she tried to make sense of what just happened.

“I-I’m sorry.” She turned into his arms, showing him that it was okay for him to touch her and his arms immediately wrapped around her body. She let herself relax into him, the panic slowly disappearing as she took slow breaths of air and let the feeling of him calm her.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He whispered against her ear then kissed her temple. “Emily what happened?”

They had used the cuffs since she came back, had done things that would be considered more extreme but the way she reacted terrified him. He felt guilty, already self-loathing as she clutched to him. He didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve her.

“I’m not sure…” She pulled back to look at him. “I was there, in the warehouse, it was like everything was happening again.” She took a moment to breathe, now when she started to calm she could see the worry on his face.

“I should have realized. I should have stopped.” He looked away from her but she was quick to stroke her hand over his cheek, gently made him face her again.

“Hey, look at me.” She ran her thumb over his cheekbone. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” She could tell that he didn’t believe her, his dark eyes filled with regret. “This has never happened before, neither of us would have known.”

“Are you okay?” His hand landed on hers on his cheek. “What do you need?”

Emily reached for the bottle of water on the nightstand as she thought about his question, wanting to be honest with him.

“I’m scared.” She finally said. “I think we need to discuss our boundaries again, not now, but soon.” Aaron’s hand tightened around her and pulled her closer as he nodded. “Are you okay?”

Her question surprised him even though it shouldn’t, he knew that she felt his distress as well.

“I never want this to happen again.” He mumbled and Emily smiled at that. “I-I’m okay I just, I’m not sure what I can do to make you feel better.”

“You already are honey, you stopped. We’re talking it through, there’s not much else you can do. You didn’t hurt me, it was my own brain messing with me. I love you, okay.”

“I love you too, so much.” He let her pull him into a soft kiss, felt her linger against him for a few moments. “What do you need?”

“Something sweet and you. Just lay with me?” She smiled when he pulled out a small chocolate bar from the nightstand, already prepared because she always needed something sugary after a scene. She unwrapped the candy and took a bite as Aaron pulled her on top of him. He wanted to see her face, studied her for further signs of fear or anxiety and was happy to find nothing but her gentle smile and soft eyes.

They both knew that come morning they would have to talk about everything again, go through every limit, soft and hard. But right now, Emily was content being in his arms and eating chocolate as the safety of him brought her back to herself. Aaron chose to trust her, felt how her body relaxed against him as she continued to press soft kisses against his chest, lips and face. He didn’t let go of her, only let the smell and feel of her comfort him.

#hotchniss fanfiction #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotchniss smut #hotchniss #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #dom aaron hotchner #sub emily prentiss

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cubistemoji · 9 months

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All of my comic recs from 2022 posted on WWAC and cobbled together in a single post- Jan 11

This was saved to my drafts in January and never posted, but here it is now because I stand by these recs!

Thieves by Lucie Bryon

Thieves is so, so pretty! I’ve been a fan of Lucie’s art for a while, and I was excited to see her use her talents for a full-length graphic novel. The limited color palette, off-white paper, and adorable art style create a dreamy, classy reading experience. It’s also a lovely story about partying, first love, the end of high school, and stealing stuff! Ella has a problem: it’s the day after a party at her crush’s house and her apartment is full of things that do not belong to her. Fortunately, Madeleine not only likes her back, she’s willing to help Ella secretly return all the stolen stuff to its rightful owners... and more. Ella, Madeleine and their friends all feel like such real, believable characters. I love how cheerful and extroverted Ella is and how well that contrasts with Madeleine’s more reserved nature. Thieves is funny, beautiful, and full of heart!

Love and Leashes by Winter

Love and Leashes is the only Webtoon I’ve read this year that made me laugh out loud at every single episode. Ji-u Jeong and Jihu Jeong, coworkers with similar names, enter an unusual arrangement in which Jihu, a submissive who’s been hiding his kinks from everyone around him his whole life, asks Ji-u to be his master. Ji-u, who’s cool and competent on the outside and shy on the inside, considers running away immediately, but instead decides to try this thing out for a bit and see if she likes it. Spoiler: she does! Despite the subject matter, the actual content of this Webtoon is fairly safe for work.

What really makes Love and Leashes stand out is the eccentric cast of characters surrounding the main couple, as well as the couple themselves. They care a lot about each other and prioritize clear communication, trying to figure out how to best make each other happy while not causing problems at work or with their friends and family. And boy, are their friends and family... a lot. Jihu has a group chat of fellow BDSM enthusiasts he met on a forum, Ji-u has a younger brother and work friends, Jihu’s high school friend owns a bar, and they all have so much going on. And whenever all of these people intersect, it is so, so funny. I don’t know how accurate the BDSM stuff is as depicted here, but the characters focus on consent, communication, and mutual enjoyment, and figuring out how to live in a way that makes them happiest.

I spent money on this comic! I can’t think of anything else I straight-up enjoyed, just had fun reading, as much as Love and Leashes this year. I’m going to tell my kids this was 50 Shades of Grey or however that meme goes.

Clown Corps by Joe Chouinard

If you’ve seen that Frasier meets Columbo comic going around on Twitter, you may not be surprised to learn the guy who drew it also does an ongoing webcomic about organized battle clowns. Clown Corps follows the adventures of reformed burglar turned reluctant clown college student Mary McBell and her clowning cohort as they work to stop a shadowy organization bent on destroying the entire Clown system. It’s hysterical, with great stylized action sequences, physical comedy and fourth-wall-bending humor, but also moments of surprising gravity as the characters grapple with the troubled pasts that brought them to clowning in the first place. The art improves quickly for a webcomic, and the characters are both silly and serious (one of the best fighters in the class can only kick ass when he’s asleep!) I caught up in a day and wished I could keep reading.

Pyramid Game by Dalgonyak

I am so obsessed with the Webtoon Pyramid Game right now it is unreal. I made a Youtube video about it. I drew fanart for it. It’s SO GOOD and NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.

Pyramid Game, by Dalgonyak, is a comic about gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing all at once. Suji is the new kid at an elite private school and it turns out her new class has a complicated hierarchical system of bullying, created by the richest and most powerful teenage girl in Korea specifically to get back at the nicest girl in the world who slighted her in some way the readers haven’t learned yet. It’s SO MUCH. It’s got some very messy homoerotic subtext (and text!) It’s got the most toxic friendships I’ve ever seen in a Webtoon. It’s got really appealing character designs and a fun and interesting protagonist who takes no bullshit from anyone ever and is going to beat the billionaire at her own game. Eventually. I believe in her!

I like Pyramid Game because I love this kind of mean girl drama; it’s got all the fun parts of a political intrigue story with none of the confusing world building to go with it. The bullying the girls take part in is creative, high-energy and visceral, but what really makes this comic so hard to put down is how keenly observed every character is, how real and complex and distinct they all feel, even the minor players in this game that act more like pawns for the leads to take turns pushing around. … Maybe I will write a full review about this comic someday.

Suji Seong could beat L in Death Note but Light Yagami could not survive a day in “The Happy Class” of Love High.

What Happens Next by Max Graves

I am at all times thinking about What Happens Next by Max Graves. It’s a pretty dark comic about what happens when some terminally online Tumblr tweens… have to deal with the aftermath of committing a gruesome murder, years after the fact. What I find really fascinating about this comic (besides the fact that I can never remember the title D:) is how accurately it portrays every detail of this hyperspecific internet community I remember so vividly from my own teenage years, and the kinds of people that participated in those spaces. It really captures… something. I don’t know. It does make me want to know What Happens Next.

Black and White: Tough Love at the Office by Sal Jiang

Do you think all yuri manga is too soft and sweet and schoolgirl-ish? You should check out Black and White by Sal Jiang, a workplace lesbian comic that I hesitate to call a romance, given how the two leads resolve their sexual tension by hatefucking in the conference room. Not appropriate for all ages, this yuri. The rivalry between Shirakawa and Kuroda crackles with chemistry, and Jiang draws the two of them fighting and having sex with a specificity that makes the whole thing feel grounded, rather than the ethereal above-it-all purity older yuri comics often have. I also like how they’re both good at their jobs and have good relationships with their coworkers, who see them as reliable and helpful and sweet. The contrast between their public personas and how they beat each other up in private makes Black and White impossible to put down.

Drip Drip by Paru Itagaki

I think Paru Itagaki should be allowed to draw whatever she wants forever. Drip Drip (which I discussed in a past Pubwatch) is incredibly weird, gross, and horny, much like her acclaimed longform series BEASTARS. But it’s also extremely interesting, and definitely a comic I will never forget reading. Drip Drip is about a woman so sensitive to germs that she gets a nosebleed every time she touches anything that isn’t 100% sterilized. She wants to find love and have sex, but every time she tries, her nosebleed scares men off and ruins the mood. When she finally finds a guy she thinks she can be with, it turns out he has dark secrets of his own. The single-volume story follows several of her attempts to rid herself of her curse, with a bonus unrelated one-shot about Santa Claus thrown in at the end.

Itagaki’s imagery and unusual choices of environments and locations make her comics very memorable: I haven’t reread this since October and I can still see the splash pages in my head like I’d read it yesterday. Itagaki and Tatsuki Fujimoto (of Chainsaw Man and Look Back fame) kind of occupy the same space in my head in their commitment to their singular, very specific vision. A kind of boldness I wish I were capable of.

#thieves lucie bryon #pyramid game #love and leashes #clown corps #black and white sal jiang #drip drip #paru itagaki #comics recs #comics reviews

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good-wine-and-cheese · 2 years

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thank u for blessing the monster fandom W ur hcs….do you have any more nsfw ones? >:3

Ok so I was like "I'll wait to reply to this in a couple days" and then I just forgot about it lmfao but alright. Here we go for nsfw headcanons! I will admit I don't really have nsfw hcs for a lot of characters so it will be specific to the ones I do.

Wolfgang Grimmer

I hc Grimmer two ways. Firstly there is the initial stage of a relationship, where I imagine that for him there is a hesitancy to really engage with the relationship at all. Because of the type of relationship he had before with his wife, and even just as a spy, being in a relationship at all is complicated, but sex feels a bit like something that serves a "function" and in a way he is a bit guarded because he's not sure if he can share himself intimately with a partner. So I tend to hc that he is very cautious and even a bit cold at first. Not on purpose, it's just hard for him to get past that.

After he's gotten to be comfortable with someone, and knows that feelings are genuine and doesn't feel he's somehow tricking them into being in a relationship with him that will turn miserable, I imagine Grimmer as being a bit of a menace. He likes to touch, will put an arm around his partner or kiss them or playfully grope when it's least expected, and also likes to tease. If he knows there is a certain way to get his partner flustered he will pursue that (as long as it's welcome!) A common experience would be going from just standing together cooking to him being a pest for fun. Like I said, a menace.

In general I tend to see him as being a bit deferent to his partner's desires, as exploring his own desires is very complicated and confusing. But he thrives in a relationship where there is patience. I think that in a genuine relationship he wants to make sex into something very intimate and communicative so he's constantly wanting to explore trying different things with a partner he trusts to learn what they like to do together.

Kenzo Tenma

I feel like Tenma has two extremes that he pivots between. On the one side he's extremely good at focusing on his partner and showering them in affection, and he loves that the most I think, but then on the flipside he reacts well to the inverse, being the one focused on. Sex for him is definitely all about expressing love and being affectionate and encouraging. I feel like he's very observant with his partner; good at recognizing when he's doing something they like even without being told. He's pretty much canonically said to be into oral and definitely feels the best when he is able to satisfy his partner, and even finds that arousing.

Like Grimmer I feel Tenma is open to exploring new things, though I think he probably needs to dwell on his thoughts for a while. Tenma strikes me as someone who doubts his own wants and may need encouragement from his partner sometimes, though inversely is quicker to accept his partner's wants because he so often makes it about them and forgets to think about himself. It's almost easier to explore sex through the lens of his partner; if there's something they like he might want to try it, etc..

Heinrich Lunge

Lunge is interesting because I see him extremely strongly aroace, but also as having a fairly strong sexual apatite. It's just something he needs to fulfill, and while he can suffice on his own, having a partner makes it more interesting, almost like a puzzle of human carnal desires. Sex isn't really then about a romantic connection for him, but almost a semi-detached psychological one. He strikes me as someone who would be very curious about exploring kink. He may not have a strong feeling about it, but it's the process of exploring that interests him.

While he is very much a methodical and logical and stunted person I do think he puts a lot of importance on making sure his partner receives what they want. When it comes to his relationship with his wife I always felt like he had been a good provider in the early years, and probably treated her very well as a sexual partner as well. I do think it was probably a bit boring between them though, lol.

This is diving a bit into my ships but in my post-canon brainspace part of why I think Lunge and Eva would work well together is because she would be such and interesting person for him. Like just as a person sure, but also in a sexual sense she strikes me as being into all kinds of stuff and that just gives Lunge more opportunity to study while enjoying the experience. Lunge is that guy.

Eva Heinemann

One of my hcs is that she has a bit of an unhealthy relationship with sex. Not ever to the level that she does with drinking or smoking but it's definitely an attachment that she tends to get irritable if she lacks access. And not even in a way that she's addicted to it so much as I think she just loves to be loved, even needs to be. She's used to getting everything she wants, and that includes in the bedroom, and she loves it. She adores having power. Though I do also think that she is the rewarding type...so if she's happy with her partner's performance she will be equally as giving to them. I do think she is an exceptional lover when she's in a satisfying relationship.

Despite the fact that she loves getting what she wants, I do think that Eva would enjoy being challenged too. Something about having the power she so enjoys wielding plainly refuted, and having to try harder. Sex definitely has a personally validating and emotionally stabilizing element for her and I think it's kind of a game to her in a way. Sex and expressing her sexuality is definitely something she finds fun.

Jan Suk

Lmfao my nsfw headcanon for Suk is that the first time he held a girls hand he immediately blushed and started crying. Maybe not exactly but that boy is 100% a virgin, I feel like he's the traditional gentleman type who would want to wait for sex until after he's married. Doesn't stop him from daydreaming about girls though

#monster headcanons #naoki urasawa's monster #kenzo tenma #wolfgang grimmer #eva heinemann #heinrich lunge #the last one is mainly a joke lolol #I don't really have hcs for most of the others just my favs lol #gillen not included because he strikes me as being an aroace of the disinterested type #so no headcanons for my other fav

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gyubby99 · 9 months

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@disneyanddisneyships

Staticfly headcanons (because i can)

Love at first fight

They HATED each other!

Vox wanted to get on Mal's good side so he can get to know aponi as well and ultimately leading himself to Alastor and knowing his weaknesses. But Mal knew something was iffy about Vox so she kept him away from her friends (this was when they were still frenemies of some sort)

Why wouldn't Mal be suspicious? VOX out of all demons was nice to her! Taking her out on hangouts as a form of "gratitude" for helping him fix his broken screen.

They had an AWFUL long way to go.

Like long. Very long.

They did not get along when they first hung out. They were bickering more than they were having fun

The only time Vox was genuine was when Val broke it off with him.

That shit HURT.

He loved Val.

But ofcourse he shows no sign of emotions.

Mal had to ask Velvette what happened

When she knew, she tried reaching out to him

Ofcourse it didn't work.

But she tried again

And again

Until Vox got fed up of her shit he was forced to spill out his guts. Vox was busying himself with work, as a way of coping.

Mal wanted him to express emotions. Atleast to her.

"What's the fucking point? It's not like my problems are going to be solved by this."

"Actually.. it is true. It's just not that big of a step. But hey, that's how people learn."

"I have no time for your sentimental bullshit."

"Yet you're listening to me, TV boy."

He just scoffs and grabs a drink.

Mal also asks for one.

The room was soundproof, for the purpose that no one hears Val abusing Vox, I guess.

So when the two got extremely wasted they cussed out Val

Mal threw up on the floor and he drunk scolded her for the next 15mins

When Vox was catcbing feelings and he knows it, he would pay attention at anything but her.

One time Mal had no place to crash in she plopped herself onto his couch and called it a night.

Vox allowed it only because she was tired.

AND Mal is his only key to Alastor's downfall

He wouldn't waste the key.

He kept repeating that in his head like a mentra the whole time Mal was sleeping and he was just.. watching from the cameras.

It took them six years to get together. Two was when they were frenemies, and four when they were genuinely friends

Poor vox had a panic attack when he caught feelings for her :(

He would never admit it to anyone but he loves her with every ounce of his being

Vox heaven AU! When he arrived in heaven he instantly spotted her in the crowd.

Mal was like "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD"

"Not a TV anymore. Remember?"

Back to hellaverse

Vox judges Mal's sense of style.

"Nuh-uh you are not wearing that garbage." *proceeds to give Mal a dress worth his house*

"Better. It brings out your eyes."

Vox pays for everything.

Mal feels bad because she has never once paid for a thing except the shark plush she gave him.

Vox looked at her deadpan. "If I didn't want to spoil you I would've stopped already. Now do you want these pair of sandals?"

Vox brings her random stuff. Like a snake plush or carmellias.

Semi-PDA couple

Their relationship was a bumpy road because of their past ones. There were times where it was sexually driven and they basically had to stop it from being too much.

One of the reasons why they were so horny on the memes/twitter au

PHYSICAL TOUCH.

He hated being soft but Mal's got insect rizz so..

Alaponi got together FIRST

The only form of "love" Vox knew was val's abuse so he had NO idea how to treat Mal at first

'Oh fuck oh fuck do we hold hands? Go out on dates? CUDDLE??'

He googled Mal's kinks

Vox is not opposed to cuddles but wouldn't cuddle her while working bc he can't have distractions.

He doesn't mind backhugs tho

or if hes in need of a stress relief

He communicates w Mal thru physical touch bc he's not good with words.

He shows Mal off to the other V's

Vox gave Mal a new phone and when she turned it on, Vox was immediately her screensaver.

He's not much for dancing but if Mal drags him to a dance floor hes dancing with her

Vox: You want me so bad, huh?

Mal: we've been dating for three years.

#mallory #staticfly

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somethingboutafic · 3 months

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BDSM

Can We Pretend (honestly reality bores me) by SadaVeniren (E) word count: 4,218 Harry comes and supports Louis at his Scala concert

Chew You Up Like Candy by LetTheMusicMoveYou (E) word count: 4,354 (Alpha/Alpha) the one where Alpha Harry falls down a Reddit hole, that leads him to discover a few new kinks he never knew he had. It also leads him to Louis, an Alpha unlike any other Harry’s ever met. Louis’ more than happy to help Harry explore his new interests

redder than the devil by mercutionotromeo (E) word count: 4,639 It's half past 9, and all Harry wants is for Louis to touch him. Preferably after a good spanking. If you combine a lazy Saturday afternoon with a distracting, pouty Harry, you'll end up with Louis spanking his baby over his knee in the middle of a paused FIFA match

no one's gonna know by jishler (E) word count: 9,116 Harry and Louis go to a party.

Could you love me anyway by SadaVeniren (E) word count: 13,444 Dear Mistress Lorin: I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now and was hoping you’d give me some advice for something that happened with me and my boyfriend. I’m really worried that I hurt him. aka Harry and Louis begin playing ping pong during the X-Factor Tour. It quickly gets out of hand.

What Happened in Vegas...(Chapter 16 bonus of Parallel) by SomeDovesFly (E) word count: 16,647 This is a supplemental kinky bundle of story that happens during Chapter 16 of Parallel. It could possibly stand alone on wobbly legs if you only want to read the naughty bits (which to be fair, is the majority of this story), but the actual story is from the first part of this series. This is a fun, fluffy, BDSM heavy fic with OT5. Everyone has fun and gets some :)

Santa Baby Honey by SadaVeniren (E) word count: 28,736 Louis is the CEO of a toy company and Christmas is a stressful time of year so his assistant decides the best way to make him chill out is by getting him laid through a Secret Santa

Just Breathe by Awriterwrites, dimpled_halo (E) word count: 50,779 the one where Harry and Louis are on a journey through life together — one that includes discovering dark, hidden parts of themselves that only the other can find.

The Pain Is For Pleasure by lovelarry10 (E) word count: 67,227 Louis and Harry have been together for a few months. Everything is great, but there’s one question burning in the back of Louis' mind - why won’t Harry have sex with him?

Opulence Thrills by brightgolden (E) word count: 68,834 Where a well-versed submissive, Harry Styles has spent eighteen months in BDSM abstinence after an irreconcilable difference in kink preferences with his ex-dom, and a random winner for a charity auction might just be the one who brings him back.

Switch Out The Batteries by istajmaal, LoadedGunn (E) word count: 88,302 Two years after meeting in a sex shop, Harry's just returning to Louis from a month-long tour in the States, and they come up with a wholesome bonding exercise.

Crave by dimpled_halo (E) word count: 90,765 All eyes are on Louis Tomlinson to bring new talent to save Hanover Records from the mess the previous executive left behind. His newest artist, Harry Styles, is charismatic and everything Louis needs to revive the label. It’s up to Louis and his team to make Harry the star he was born to be. When Harry and Louis come face to face, it isn’t the first time they’ve met, and their worlds are about to be turned upside down.

Parallel by SomeDovesFly (E) word count: 96,550 OT5 poly AU, BDSM comfort fic. OT5 work on a hit show called Excavated where Louis, Harry, and Liam are actors, Niall is the director, and Zayn does special effects. Harry is new to the show and it's love at first sight for Louis. But he's not the only one.

Balance by SomeDovesFly (E) word count: 104,360 The boys enter their new life together as a single unit in one home and learn more about each other's pasts. They navigate kink together through highs and lows, having to learn to make compromises to keep everyone in the relationship safe and happy. Meanwhile, their hit show Excavated films through seasons 5 and 6.

Save Me (from myself) by Imogenlee (E) word count: 159,321 The problem with being friends with Liam Payne was that he had a lot of friends... and forced them to be around each other. When they finished high school, both Louis and Harry were equally relieved that they wouldn't have to tolerate each other constantly or whatever it was that they did. For five years, it worked out perfectly. They'd only had to see each other a handful of times. Unfortunately, Liam had to go and get engaged, ask them to both be groomsmen, and then go full groomzilla on their arses. With just twelve weeks to plan the 'perfect' destination wedding and throw every ridiculous pre-wedding celebration Liam and his fiancée stumble across, it was safe to say they were firmly back in each other's lives. And no one could have predicted that was exactly what they needed.

#larry fic #larry fic rec #larry fanfiction

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radiant-reid · 3 years

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S.R Masterlist !

I adore every person reading this. I want you to know you’re loved, I support you, and my messages are always open if you want to chat.

Also, thank, thank, thank you from the bottom of my heart, I genuinely don’t know what I’d do without this blog, and the support I receive keeps me going.

Requests: open/closed

All my fics are in order of newest to oldest. They’re also all Spencer x Y/n

Smut (18+)

Santa Tell Me

Spencer’s a really good gift giver, but you have some surprises up your sleeve too.

BAU Boys

Staying late at Rossi’s with your favorite colleagues really pays off. Spencer Reid x Derek Morgan x Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Birthday Morning

Spencer’s birthday is always a big deal with his

THE KINK LIST

A whole list of fics separated by different kinks

To Need Someone

The very complicated dynamic of two BAU agents changes dramatically over two months, as they figure out if there’s an emotion besides hatred that they feel for each other

Unconventional

Spencer’s first one night stand ends up having a lot of strings when he sees her again at work.

Pretty in Purple II

An interruption to some private time Spencer is trying to share with his girlfriend unintentionally winds up advancing their sex life and where Spencer’s dirty little secret meets the team while he struggled to keep his hands off her. Dom!Spencer

Call me

Spencer gets a surprise phone call which leads to a happy ending

Take Two

Spencer finds an old adult entertainment film starring his girlfriend and her ex and decides they better make their own.

Dom!Spencer

Parents-to-be

Spencer and his wife have some giggly sex as they try to conceive a baby.

New and Exciting

Spencer x reader smut where it’s Spencer’s first time?

Sub!Spencer, Virgin!Spencer

Spencer Reid NSFW Alphabet

A comparison between Sub!Spencer (season 1 era) and Dom!Spencer (season 15 era)

(In your ocean) Swim

The time until Frenemies with Benefits eventually fall in love is always a ticking time bomb Rough!Dom!Spencer

The Unknown

After getting flirted with, Y/n shows Spencer he has nothing to be insecure about. Sub!Spencer

Under the covers

Friends with benefits never works out, but, this time, the switch to becoming a couple, was an accident, unbeknownst to Spencer and Y/n until the team pointed it out Dom!Spencer

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Upon overhearing a conversation between her boyfriend and his friend, Y/n's beyond upset but Spencer quickly fixes it. SoftDom!Spencer

Houston, we do not have a problem

Spencer is determined to make Y/n’s conference call hard. Literally. Dom!Spencer

MGG Smut

Filming a movie

Matthew and Y/n decide to make a movie of the adult variety

Fluff

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Spencer’s gone for Christmas, and you and the twins wish he wasn’t.

A Perfectly Imperfect New Year’s Eve

Spencer’s got something he needs to get done before the New Year starts. Unfortunately, things get in the way of his plan, but it’s perfect anyway

The Gingerbread Competition

A gingerbread competition gets serious at the Reids

Let It Snow

Apparently, getting stuck in a cabin with Spencer isn’t too bad

What Christmas Means To Me

The Reids discuss all the things that are Christmas-y and important to them while being really in love with each other.

Little Angels

A little snippet of the perfect life you and Spencer have created

Worry Free

After the issues of Spencer’s past year, JJ is worried for him, until she finds out an incredibly interesting piece of information about his romantic life

Trick or Treat or Surprise

Halloween at the BAU is a big deal. Apparently, makeup mishaps also are.

Baby Reid

Little Touches

Just a few moments where Spencer learns how much he loves touches

Rays of Sunshine

Just a relaxing morning in the Reid house with the couple’s baby

4+1 Cuddling

The four times they cuddled before becoming a couple and the one time they cuddled afterward

Nickname

Nicknames are important in the Reid house, sacred and a problem when they come from the wrong person

How everyone found out

a little blurb about how each of the team members found out about a secret BAU relationship

A little (major) crush

Spencer's coldness is interpreted as hate for a very long time until a little admission leads to him accepting the truth

A dream come true

After a long few years of trying to have a baby, the Reids give up, until nothing short of a miracle happens at an inconvenient time.

Teaching and Learning

After some true bragging happens about Spencer at the hands of his daughter, her teacher is determined to find out how amazing he really is.

The guaranteed way to get to sleep

Spencer is the only one who can recognize the signs of needing someone in the new agent * this is not an informative article about how to sleep

What’s in a name? II

Spencer accidentally gets misidentified by a little kid whose mom means the world to him

Teenage Heartbreak and Impromptu Parenting

Spencer had to bluff his way around helping his daughter through her first heartbreak.

Clumsy

Spencer tripping and tumbling leads him to fall for a nurse.

One and Done

The stories of how four Reid children came to alter the one-child plan their parents had intended since their first baby.

Chaos and Calm

Spencer has a bit of a chaotic day being a dad, but his wife is always there at the end to provide some calming kisses

Impromptu

Spencer gets taken on a surprise, unplanned trip with his two favorite people trying to cheer him up.

Unwell

Instead of getting looked after, Spencer is the one doing the looking after when he realizes his girlfriend is sick and trying to hide it when he comes home from a rough case

The Brilliant Doctor Daddy Unit Chief Reid

Spencer gets a visit from his wife and daughters on his first day at his new job

The Pact

Years have passed between the time Spencer and Y/n broke up, but it doesn't stop them from jumping back in head first when given a little prompt

Tying the knot

About the day that Y/n becomes a Reid

A memorable hero

Y/n jumps into the arms of a random FBI agent when she unknowingly talks to a creepy unsub.

Darling, you’re the one I want

The history of Spencer and Y/n’s relationship as told by Paper rings by Taylor Swift

Unbelievable but Verified

The BAU's newest member comes prepared to join the team with a tiny crush on the man who wrote her three favorite thesis papers.

Smells Fishy

Out of place perfume and cologne give away a secret relationship of the BAU.

Secure

Spencer and Y/n both struggle with the challenges that come with being parents, but take away each others insecurities

The Cutest You

Adorable drunk Spencer being in love with his girlfriend

An Ironic Position ♡ R16

“6x04, the wife won’t talk to morgan and rossi, spence talks to her bc he isn’t a threat? A fic of that then him walking out of the house, smirking, knowing the “not an alpha male” thing is an act & emily catches on.”

(My) Lover Based off Lover by Taylor Swift <3 A whole lot of fluff about Y/n and Spencer’s moving into their new apartment and celebrating with the team.

Just Friends

One too many people flirt with Y/n’s not-boyfriend boyfriend

One lie, two truths

Spencer’s concern when his girlfriend appears to be flirting with someone else in the bar is resolved when she assures him, twice over, that he’s the only one for her.

Spencer Reid 2.0

Spencer meets his clone and could not be more thrilled about it.

Ouch

After getting injured in the field, Y/n is looked after by Spencer.

Venus

"i promised myself i would never fall in love with you. but it was 4am, and we were laughing way too hard, and i felt happy for the first time in a long time, and i knew i was screwed."

Lie Detector

One polygraph test reveals how two best friends really feel about each other.

Crying in my prom dress

Y/n and Spencer, best friends of many years, figure out there’s something else going on

Soulmates

The BAU team knew Y/n and Spencer would be the perfect couple, it was just a shame he left the BAU before she joined.

Jump then fall

The song Y/n dedicated to Spencer was a secret but when he figures out what it is, he takes a calculated leap of faith

Swooping in

Accidentally and unknowingly, Spencer takes the girl Morgan's trying to take home

Just between me and you

Spencer's hesitancy to take a dare troubles Y/n. Until it doesn't.

All stitched up

Spencer's unexpected arrival at Y/n's work worries her.

The girl in the bar

None of the team can understand why Y/n isn't into Morgan or Emily so they're shocked when she kisses Spencer.

The world’s worst hairstylist

Although her hair is similar to Spencer’s, he’s very unhelpful when it comes to helping style Y/n’s new haircut.

Just my type

Spencer is definitely the pretty girl in the bars type

Neverland

Just a Halloween fic about babysitting Henry

Please don’t ever become a stranger Based on the song New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift One last farewell party stirs up some hidden feelings

Merry and Bright

Complete Christmas fluff

Wherever I’m going, I’m happy you’re coming

For the prettiest boy (based on the song Pretty boy by the Neighbourhood)

Betting Game ✰

The teams' bets on whether Y/n and Spencer are dating come to a head

Geniuses at work ✰

Y/n and Spencer find a creative way to get out of their week of blind dates

Under the weather

Y/n refuses to admit she isn’t feeling well until she falls asleep at her desk and Spencer takes her home

Comfortable

Just a warm, fluffy day with everyone’s favorite Doctor

All grown up

12 years passed since Y/n went on a date she didn’t realize was a date with Spencer. Now, they’re older and the truth comes out

Spill the beans

After a forced kiss with someone who isn’t his wife, Spencer feels terrible. But Y/n has some news that cheers him up

Caught in a lie

Y/n’s choice to lie to her FBI profiler boyfriend somehow pays off

Til forever falls apart Based on the song by FINNEAS and Ashe An old injury and some strong pain killers make Spencer confess some deep feelings

The problem with probability

The statistical probability of divorce freaks Y/n out a little, good time Spencer knows more statistics

Lipstick ✰

Maybe, the secret to putting a murderer away is kissing someone you dislike

Take a look at my girlfriend ✰ Based on the song by Supertramp Spencer Reid’s always more than willing to brag about his girlfriend

Profilers profiled

Cat Adams exposes a secret relationship

Warm on a cold night Based on the song by HONNE Spencer and Y/n stargaze

Gorgeous

Based on the incredible Taylor Swift song Y/n a little infatuated with a certain genius

Secret’s out ✰

So far, Spencer and Y/n have managed to keep their relationship a secret... until a fumble in their morning routine

Date night

Picnic park date with Y/n’s official boyfriend, Spencer Reid

Sweater

On a case in Montana, Y/n’s only coat gets ruined. Luckily, Spencer had a hoodie

Babysitters

JJ accidentally calls in her babysitter and her best friend to watch Henry and it works out well for them

Gorgeous

Spencer shyly explains the golden ratio and how Y/n fits it

Perfection

The newest member of the Reid family is the literal definition of the word perfect

Never have I ever ♡

When the team get bored on the jet, with some vodka, they play a fun game of never have I ever

Get ready with me ♡

Spencer and Y/n almost miss dinner at Rossi’s while they mess around getting ready

Gift giving ♡

It’s the day of Y/n and Spencer’s 2nd anniversary and they exchange gifts.

Goodmorning

Spencer isn’t there in the morning when Y/n wakes up, but she’s very excited when he returns

Cuddles

A cuddle with his son is just the thing Spencer needs when he gets home from a hard case

Set up

Morgan gets sick of working with two idiots who are clearly in love with each other, so he takes matters into his own hands

Touch starved ✰

Spencer’s working far too hard on the current case and Y/n knows she’s got to provide him with some comfort.

Bittersweet but mostly sweet

When Spencer got phone calls from Y/n while he was working, he worried. But this one was good.

Tough Day ✰

Some cases are harder than the rest but Y/n’s always there for Spencer.

Genius on paper

As someone with an IQ of 187, Spencer should be able to cook his girlfriend breakfast. Should

Tuesday Trip

No one’s excited when the BAU team are forced to go to the CIA, but Spencer’s mood improves when he meets Y/n

Angst

Eleventh Hour

Spencer’s about to move across the country, until his ex-girlfriend gives him some news

Christmas Lights

based on my favorite christmas song ever: Christmas Lights by Coldplay

Familiar

Spencer’s secret way to sleep is revealed in a moment of upset

Enduring

Spencer’s wife gives birth almost as soon as he’s back after getting shot in Texas, and he’s very grateful.

Three

Three wishes, three requests, three things to say, and three people.

Back to You

Spencer never thought she would love him the way he loves her, but he also never thought she would come back from the dead

Wish you were sober

Being in love with Spencer is exhausting when he only admits to his feelings for you when he’s drunk

From the dining table

Based on the Harry Styles song, Spencer struggles dealing with a breakup that he's at fault for with all the guilt, sadness and anger.

Spaces between us

Spencer's time after prison starts to affect his marriage and it takes his wife leaving for him to realize what he wants

A way home

An out of the blue call to Spencer makes him question whether he wants to go on without his ex-wife in his life

Something New

When his friend with benefits needs a date, Spencer agrees to play along before their relationship dramatically changes when she needs him emotionally.

Breaking Point

The Reids' are on the brink of divorcing, with the need to figure out whether or not the other is worth it. Requested here

All your you

Spencer struggles to juggle his family-life and work-life after Gideon dies, but Y/n assures him it’s okay

Not close enough

Spencer has a girlfriend and they are engaged and reader loves him and he finds out and is very upset and he's like "you can't come to my wedding" but in the end he loves her.

Out of the blue

Spencer's not thrilled about having a new addition to the Reid family, until Y/n gets hurt and he works out what was bothering him.

Unexpected Twist

Going back to Las Vegas stirs up some well kept secrets involving Spencer for the second time in a year

Crushed

Being in love with the girl one of your best friends is hooking up with was a feeling Spencer never thought would go away.

Baiting the hook

An undercover operation goes wrong, but not in the way everyone expected, causing the team to frantically try to find Y/n.

Liar Liar

Y/n gets put in JJ's position after Emily dies, and Spencer, her boyfriend, isn't happy about it.

Reunion

As much as they tried, Spencer and Y/n couldn’t salvage their relationship, until Y/n turns up at his place, fulfilling a promise years later.

The sacrifice of love

Knowing everything was coming to an end, with Y/n forced to think she was taking her last few breaths, she confesses her love for Spencer.

The only way home

Mad at her boyfriend, Y/n has a little too much to drink and Spencer takes her home.

I'm watching

Spencer and Y/n come so close to becoming a couple, but someone else gets in the way.

Reading between the lines

Spencer panics when he misinterprets a relationship term to mean something terrible.

Enough

Almost ending their engagement, Y/n learns not wanting to have children isn’t a deal-breaker to Spencer

Parallel universe

Right person, wrong time in this universe’s timeline anyway

all is fair in love and war

Can the team convince two arch-enemies that they’re in love with each other?

Their end

The day the clock finally runs out

One Final Chance

Time is running out for Spencer to confess his love

Broken Pieces

Things have got bad between Y/n and Spencer, can they fix it?

Renegade

Based on the song by Big Red Machine feat. Taylor Swift. Spencer’s struggle with Emily coming back from the dead

First day back

Mom Y/n and Dad Spencer struggle to deal with how they feel after having a baby

Risky Move

When a narcissistic bank robber decides he wants a member of the BAU to hold hostage, Spence decides he’s the least important so he should go.

Never again

Spencer’s a little reckless, walking in to stop an unsub without a vest or gun. Y/n’s a little mad about it

Kids

While they’re out of a case, Spencer and Y/n get the job of looking after the victim’s children. So they do so, over breakfast

Dance Recital

Nora Reid, Spencer and Y/n’s daughter, gets very mad when her daddy misses her dance performance

Lost time

Spencer wanted to protect Y/n, but the only way to do that was to break her heart. Finally, when the stalker is caught, he wants to get back together.

Last day

Based on what happens when Spencer goes home, after seeing his best friend, Morgan, for the last time as a BAU agent

Not so good phone call

Usually, phone calls from Spencer are good but not one about him being shot.

First one’s always the hardest

It’s not fair that Y/n’s first case with the BAU is a bad one but Spencer is there to provide some comfort

Series/ Multiparts

Right Person + Right Time

A right person, wrong time fic until it’s the right time

Winter Wonderland

Masterlist for my Christmas and winter inspired fics this year, some are based on songs, others aren’t

Beyond Breaking- complete

Series Masterlist

A story about a married couple, boarding on divorce and trying to figure out whether to part ways or make it work, filled with heartbreak, dad!spencer, awkward silences, friendship, lies, passion, miscommunications, questionable decision-making, and love.

Changes +

Growing up and leaving to college is difficult enough without the love of your life going to their dream school across the country

Take me back- ongoing

Series Masterlist

I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met

The heart-aching aftermath of falling far too quickly into far too passionate love with Spencer Reid

Valentine’s Day Celebration- complete

Three different fics that can be read as standalones or a series Surprise me - the wait for a proposal comes to a grinding halt when Spencer surprises his girlfriend… and himself Impress me - Spencer really can’t cook, but he doesn’t let it stop him from being the absolute best, most thoughtful boyfriend ever. Remember me (18+) - Spencer remembers lots of things but he manages to forget the day of love. However, he has a great way of making it up to his girlfriend.

Secret Life and The Private Side of a Secret Life (18+) - complete

The team accidentally stumbles upon Spencer, a mystery woman, a mystery girl, and a decade-long secret and after the ladies of the BAU take Spencer’s mystery wife out and learn some… new things about their colleague, the Reids get to work on making their fantasy a reality.

The Public Eye and The Private Eye with t.e.i.c. part i, part ii- complete Famous!Y/n AU

Spencer gets closer to a famous actress, discovering they're incredibly similar and she really likes him and they go on their first date

Old Wives Tales and Sherlock Holmes Titles - complete

The soon-to-be parents place a bet on whether they'll be having a boy or a girl and they find out the shocking news confirming who was right

The Antithesis of Loss and Gain - ongoing

With Spencer in prison, Y/n struggles to cope because how much she loves him until he's finally out and they can go on their first date.

Parent trap- complete

1 2

What happened in Vegas- complete

1 2 3 * 4 5

Spencer and Y/n’s questionable, drunk, cliché decisions leads them to a sober decision which leads them to have to face some consequences which leads them to work things out.

Found blood- complete

Lost and Found | Blood and Water

Odette Reid’s kidnapping leads to her recognizing Y/n as a parent, which she eventually becomes.

Love/Hate Island- ongoing

Series Masterlist

Spencer Reid’s decision to conceal the breakup with his girlfriend of two years becomes a problem when Rossi orders him to bring her to his new Long Island mansion on a week-long vacation with the team. Can their relationship be fixed? Do they want it to be?

Break my heart- complete ♡

Part 1 Part 2

Spencer just needed some stress relief after being released from prison, how was he meant to know Y/n would take their friends-with-benefits relationship to mean something more?

Faking it- complete ♡ ✰

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 (smut) Chapter 7 Chapter 8 (smut) Chapter 9 Epilogue

When Y/n Y/l/n needs a date for 4th of July weekend, lonely Spencer Reid comes to the rescue.

High society- Hiatus

Chapter 1

The BAU’s current case involves the kidnapping of a rich socialite, one of the friends in that group is Y/n Y/l/n.

Up- complete

Breakup Makeup

Spencer and Y/n broke up when Y/n realised JJ was in love with him. 12 years later, Y/n is back and Spencer now knows she was right.

Night out- Complete

Part 1 Part 2

Spencer gets absolutely wasted, a rarity and confesses his true feelings towards Y/n

Compromised- Hiatus ♡

Part 1

Y/n Y/l/n and Spencer Reid are the only two BAU agents who hate each other with a passion. When the BAU is being stalked, the stalker steps things up a notch and Y/n and Spencer have to be taken into protective custody. Too bad they hate each other.

Undercover- Complete ♡

Part 1 Part 2

To lure out an unsub, Spencer and Y/n must go undercover as a couple.

Misc

Instagram povs: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

An in depth analysis about where Spencer lives

What a wedding with Spencer would be like

Blurbs

Headcannons

because i love to have an opinion

Sean Hotchner when Hotch was in WITSEC

Spencer naming his kid after gideon after penelope after emily

Diana’s Alzheimer’s

Spencer being unable to cook

Spencer and trust issues

Spencer really in love

Spencer being clingy after sex

Spencer x Pregnant!Reader and again

Spencer and Valentine’s Day

Spencer as a dad and more

with adopted kids

with adopted teen kids

when his daughter gets a boyfriend

Spencer and a day out shopping

Spencer being jealous

Spencer and reader on her period

TW: Spencer helping reader with their drug addiction

Spencer going on a road trip

What Spencer smells like

Spencer x sibling!reader

Spencer owning a dog

Spencer taking a nap with reader

Spencer getting silent treatment

Spencer x latina!reader with her family calling him papi plus another and another

Spencer and reader suffering from depression

CANE ERA SPENCER

Spencer’s song analysis and this one my list of 10 songs I associate with Spencer

Spencer’s halloween cookie cutters

Spencer when he’s sick

Spencer when reader is hungover

Spencer’s petname for you, by season

Spencer after he got shot

Spencer x popstar!reader

Kissing Spencer in the middle of an argument

Spencer x Model!Reader

Spencer x singer!reader

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