haley nichole green, we are goodness to me

Diasomnia waiting for their youngest to get his driver's license because Lilia shouldn't, Malleus couldn't, and Silver wouldn't.

Search me, God, and know my heart;test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139: 23-24

Clean Hands

Silly little doodles

Ahhh I love when horror in object shows

sleepy time

"... hatred, friendship, jealousy, indignation, emptiness, love, sorrow."

My sister just mentioned the story our bishop told, about a woman who went to St. John Vianney after her husband committed suicide by jumping from a bridge, and she was beside herself because she knew he had to be in hell, and John Vianney told her, "Between the bridge and the water is the mercy of God."

orv epilogue talk

initially the explanation behind the fourth wall bothered me a bit because I was fine with it as is… a literal fourth wall the dokkaebi king isn’t really much of a character so like why should I care about this idk…

but then I realized. the point isn’t what it is but rather why

the dokkaebi king only became the wall because of han sooyoung’s wish to protect kim dokja. during orv the [fourth wall] skill saves his life countless times, but at the same time it dulls all his emotions so he can't fully connect with everyone else

that’s just the literal events that happened. symbolically, han sooyoung’s wish was expressed through her writing twsa for him, and by escaping into the fiction of that world, kim dokja was able to survive. at the same time, using fiction to cope with reality like that has him feeling disconnected from the world and everyone else in it… and that’s what led to him making the 49/51 decision he sees his place as just a reader—an outsider to everyone else's story. because that's how he survived

so maybe han sooyoung’s desperate wish to save him back then also doomed him..? but that really was all she could do then...

Rayla saying "But you're basically my best friend. I wouldn't let anything happen to you, no matter what it took" (Bloodmoon Huntress), and "He's my friend, my best friend" (3x01) and "I won't let anything happen to you" to Callum (6x01) and

the wolf and the lamb / undone undress, marika hackman / the carnivorous lamb, agustin gomez-arcos / hannibal & will, hannibal (2013) / lestat & louis, interview with the vampire (2022)

you deserved better from me than an oversized uniform and a world full of troubles

🌌 「Demon King of Salvation」 🌌

I get sad thinking about how during ichigo and grimmjows fight in hm. Particularly the moment when he see sees orihime's terrified reaction to his mask. I think he considered her previous trauma with acid wire ofc, but how must he have felt when orihime looked at him like that? She was the girl who managed to make friends with everyone and empathized so deeply with even her enemies, let alone her closer friends. And she was looking at him, completely frozen with fear, and he hated being the source of it. It just makes my feelers hurt so bad for some reason :(

i think the great thing about this fight is that it lets you empathize with both ichigo and orihime without diminishing either of their feelings, which is just. good writing. i'd go so far as to say this fight is also superb because of how it manages to address many overarching themes at once: a) ichigo's human-hollow struggle that keeps rearing its head every now and then b) orihime's complicated relationship with violence c) grimmjow's twisted desire to feel validated by ichigo, who he sees as his own mirror d) ichigo & orihime's long-term struggle to cross the chasm that separates them and meet in the middle.

a lot of people focus on orihime's fear here, but the truth is, ichigo himself was afraid of his hollow and was NOT confident about his ability to control it. when he tells orihime not to be afraid without his mask on, he looks at her and smiles. with the mask, he doesn't even make eye contact. when he accidentally does make eye contact later on in the fight, it crushes him, and the beauty of this fight is that it's all carried out through body language. his heart sinks, and so does yours, if you're invested in the fight. ichigo's entire arc so far has been about mastering this side of himself that he's desperately afraid of losing to, and now the person he's protecting is afraid of him, too. he begins doubting himself: what if grimmjow is right? what if he really did just come here to fight?

if you look at orihime's side of things, she's not wrong either. orihime's entire arc was about self-doubt at this time. she was never really sure of her worth to others, so how could she be sure that ichigo, who's reiatsu is rougher and darker than usual (just like her dead brother) was fighting for her? she does eventually realize her effect on him with a little help from nel. but in the end, nel's testimony doesn't matter much either because orihime realizes she would love ichigo even if he wasn't fighting for her. she just doesn't want him to get hurt.

lucky for us, grimmjow isn't right and it's obvious that ichigo did indeed come to fight him—if only to protect everyone and take orihime back home. fighting is ichigo's means to an end. his reaction to orihime is our indicator of that. the great thing about this fight is what it tells us—that if ichigo was this affected by orihime's face, then it means he truly didn't come here just to fight. that nel's cheers did nothing to grab ichigo's attention, but orihime's first broken whisper did. that having orihime nearby reminds him of what he's fighting for, which is something that literally saves his human life when he's in vasto lorde form. he left his heart with her, just as she did with him before she left. if we began this journey with rangiku saying ichigo needs orihime, this arc shows us how. this fight shows us how. yes, orihime's fear caused him some pain, but none of us can deny how cocky he got when she cheered for him, either, so it goes both ways :D