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kh19871987 · 2 years

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#lose weigh

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commsroom · 2 months

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the scene at the end of who's there?: eiffel is cut off mid-sentence (addressing minkowski), minkowski calls his name twice, and hera says, "commander... he's not showing up on any of my scans. he's gone." vs. brave new world: eiffel is cut off mid-sentence (addressing hera), minkowski calls his name twice, and hera says, "he's... commander, he's gone." in idle hands, eiffel regaining his autonomy ("hera, it's me. i'm me again.") is described: "there's a SOFT WOOSH, and eiffel's eyes go from spaced out to sharp focus." in brave new world, eiffel losing his memory is described: "there's a SOFT WOOSH, and his eyes go glassy." in mayday, hera's voice is the last one eiffel hears, the last voice in his head trying to keep him from giving up when he's sure he's about to die. in brave new world, eiffel loses his memory mid-thought while addressing hera, and so she was his last memory, the last thing on his mind. whatever. whatever.

#wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #hera wolf 359 #eiffera #? well sort of #the cycle of hera losing him and getting him back and in some ways being the one to bring him back and then #being the one who wipes his memory. she has so much personal baggage about that. it's going to weigh on her.#and i won't get into my thoughts about eiffel regaining his memory because i've done that many other times #but i think like. if he didn't. if he doesn't. i don't know if hera will ever really believe it isn't possible.#because of all the ways she's lost him before and the ways he's come back. despite everything. well anyway.#i have more substantial things i could write but i've been having a wretched terrible month. be patient with me.

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tequilapenisss · 26 days

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TW: ED

Yesterday my boyfriend told me that he loves my body so much. It felt nice to hear but im still fat??I love him so much but i can’t believe he finds this attractive. He always tells me i look good. It’s so weird to me when he says that. Like don’t you see how fat i am and how disgusting this is… i want to be skinny for him. He never says it but i notice he finds it hard to pick me up, im just to heavy:( I am scared that he won’t find me attractive when im skinny and this demotivateds me. Im still going to keep doing it. He will find me more attractive when im skinny i have to belive in it!!!!

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oceanwithouthermoon · 2 months

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ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..

if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..

and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.

he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)

he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..

#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon #like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him #but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is #hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute #and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it #idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them #need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless #and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!'#and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria #and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times #this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what #he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates #i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but #a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo #so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more #though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers #a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain #anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless #and i want to know who his friends would be #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #meows post

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sheepstiel · 5 months

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anyways. maybe just treat people the same no matter their current weight. maybe don't comment on their food intake or eating habits or ask them about their fitness routine unprompted.

#it's medical. i'm taking meds that make me lose weight grandpa. there is no routine.#i'm not opposed to it because i have expendable rolls here and there. but it could be dangerous. my doc isn't even weighing me regularly #sheep talks #cw body image #tw weight-loss

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feroluce · 3 days

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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.

So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!

But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.

According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.

He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!

So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.

Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.

And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.

And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.

Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.

Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.

Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...

One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.

Gepard doesn't sleep that night.

Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.

Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.

She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.

"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.

Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.

His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?

“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.

Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”

“A plan?”

“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.

“We don't even know-”

“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.

“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.

It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.

The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.

“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-

Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”

“No what?”

“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”

Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”

Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.

Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.

“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”

“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.

From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.

The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.

He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.

Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.

Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.

Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.

In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.

Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.

He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.

He only hopes that it's enough.

#honkai star rail #gepard landau #hsr gepard #pelageya sergeyevna #hsr pela #hsr #smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd #tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha #I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc #But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd #Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha #Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down #did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.

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vigilskeep · 4 months

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What's current Morghaine's backstory? How did they end up hunting mages?

instead of the original morghaine’s archfey warlock patron, the questionable motherly figure in morghaine’s life was their high elf parent, from an influential family of morally dubious enchantment wizards. their mother claimed to be different from the rest, and perhaps she was... but with their memory repeatedly modified to keep them from leaving the “safety” of their home for the dangerous outside world, morghaine wouldn’t even know. after their stumbling attempts at wizardry summoned a familiar who led them on an escape, a young morghaine found themself in the middle of a baldur’s gate they didn’t even recognise, with nothing but a slowly clearing head and the need to get out.

morghaine might never have had quite their family’s gift for the arcane, but they learned enough about casters to know how to stop one in their tracks. plenty of mercenary bands know exactly the standoffish, intimidating gloomstalker to call when the fight ahead involves someone with a few too many magical tricks up their sleeve. morghaine always figured it was good training for the hunt ahead. they might not remember much, but they remember enough to know that one day, their family needs to be stopped

#its extremely half baked im playing it by ear as i go but this is the gist #morghaine perilous #essentially their mother did on some level want to be different #but grief for morghaine’s father sent her tumbling right down that slippery slope #what’s a few modify memorys to keep terror from your child’s mind. to keep them innocent for as long as possible.#to make sure the family’s secrets don’t weigh them down. to keep them safe. to stop them from turning against you when you’re all they have #to stop them from going out into the big dangerous world. to make sure you never lose them like you lost their father #to make them forget what the family asked you to do in exchange for their help with this.#to make them forget they loved the sight of the sea

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jellyt0ast · 1 year

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