#looking at some of the...recent YA scandals might also be helpful
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Nicobaster: Soulmates/games
For day two I did a collaboration with @thomas-life and we did a combination of both prompts:
And a hastily written and edited little excerpt for ya:
Alabaster sifts through the last of what must've been 30 decks of Mythomagic cards.
"Ah! Found him.! Aevin Lackluster: Master Spellcaster. Edition 4. From the Medieyval Myth campaign. He was and perhaps still is my favorite from that series. A lot of the other editions didn't have actual characters...so it was exciting at the time." Alabaster shrugs non-chalantly but his eyes are practically beaming at the card. As if he's holding a literal piece of his childhood self. And Maybe he is.
Nico grins at him from his seat on the floor. He's hunched over his own mess of cards, looking much like a dragon guarding its hoard of treasure. Cards haphazardly spill out from under his legs emphasizing just how many he has... Alabaster briefly wonders where he had he been keeping them all.
"Not a bad card," Nico agrees, "but he's nothing compared to Myra Darkweave, Necromancer Queen, also from Edition 4." Nico holds up one of the cards, and turns it to face Alabaster. She holds a skull in one hand. Her crown is either silver or bone, and around her neck is a familiar green necklace.
Alabaster examines it. Myra’s picture is one that mostly displays Purple,red and black. But the small splash of green stands out.
“Huh, May I?” He reaches out to take the card.
Nico holds it out for Alabaster to take and feigns scandalized gasp, "You don't have her card? how can you call yourself a fan?"
Alabaster plucks the card from Nico's fingers, careful not to bend or rip it.
"She never came up in the packs I had." He says, shaking his head. "I could only get what I could steal"
Nico continues smirking at him.
Al rolls his eyes. "So annoying" he says. /but attractive/ he thinks.
Nico snorts and starts picking through his cards, organizing them by...color? Alabaster raises an eyebrow at the choice, but seeing as in order to play they'd have to shuffle them anyway he supposes its as good a way as any.
Nico speaks without looking at him, that insufferable smug look refusing to leave his face, "I got a lot of my cards in the Lotus hotel." The smirk drops a little but come back full force a moment later, "I won them by beating the older kids" he snickers, "they were so mad getting bean by a 10 year old...its one of my greatest accomplishments." He preens.
"So you've always been this maddening?" Alabaster quips, as he compares their favorite cards side by side. Imagining Nico as a 10 year old sends shivers down his spine...shivers of dread. They'd probably have hated eachother.
Or perhaps they'dve been friendly Rivals. Alabaster remembers himself at 12.../nah probably enemies actually/. He chuckles to himself and diverts his attention back to the cards and Myra’s green necklace. The pattern and design of it is unmistakable. He looks over to Aevin's card to see that he is wearing that same green necklace.
"D'you...." Alabaster considers. He doesn't remember the lore concerning that particular item. Which is maddening considering he usually knows these things offhand. Was it part of some group?
"Look at this" Al continues. "They both have the same necklace... I can't recall what it signifies... do you know what it's for?"
Nico pauses in his organizing to look at the cards, beautiful dark eyes focusing under thick eyelashes. Alabaster bites the inside of his lip to recenter himself, so he doesn't just start staring at Nico Di Angelo like a looney.
"I think I remember that it was some sort of gift?" Nico shrugs, "or a prize?" Or was it a prized-posession? Nico hates being dyslexic, but honestly he was also 10 when he tried to read it so his memory might be faulty.
Alabaster hums. "I see. Well!" He whips out his trusty enchanted glasses that help him read. "Maybe I can look it up."
He pulls out an mythomagic handbook that is so worn that Nico might've mistaken it for an ancient artifact.
He flips through tissue thin pages. "Ah, here we are" Aevin's necklace was made by him, he carved protection runes on the back of the pendant to keep the wearer safe. (Plus 5 defense and plus 2 evasion). So it's a protection necklace...but why is it..." Alabaster’s eyes travel to a small fact box on the side of the page. "When he got married he gifted it to his beloved wife...Myra Darkweave. Who gave him her bracelet in exchange. To solidify them as soulmates through the ages..."
Alabaster looks over to Nico. /what a coincidence/ he thinks. That those two are their favorites...
@them-awesome-rarepairs please accept our late submission 😅 thank you!!!
#it’s a little late but it’s done!#alabaster torrington#alabaster c torrington#pjo#percy jackson#nicobaster#heroes of olympus#son of magic#pjorarepairs2023#nico di angelo#Shadowmagic#mythomagic#nicobaster household
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Do you have any advice for writers who just. Don't have an experiance with important things? Like, if I wrote a story with a plot that followed conflicts I personally deal with, it would be whiny and dull. But I worry if I try to branch out to issues other people face, my lack of experiance on the topic will come across as plastic, or worse that im trying to profit off of other people's problems. But every story needs a conflict of some kind,,, and you get the picture
Hmm… If you feel comfortable with it, send me an ask with maybe some examples of what you’re thinking of, so I can give you some more specific advice. Because, like, writing about racism is quite different from writing, about, say child abuse? Also, I would argue that you shouldn’t so easily discount your own experiences and that there are, well, still plots you can write that wouldn’t fall into these, but that’s another post entirely. But here are my general thoughts in loose categories.
Firstly, do your research, preferably from people who have experienced whatever you want to write about. That’s crucial to approaching experiences that you don’t have. Aside from things like slaying dragons. Literal ones, of course. Metaphorical ones may still require research. But here’s the thing. Simply put, most problems are complicated. So how do you keep, for example, your story about racism/homophobia/sexism/ableist/etc. from sounding like a Very Special Episode™?
Keep in mind that most people know these things are bad. That’s why people always deny being them. Bob the Bigot isn’t homophobic; Bob the Bigot is ‘I don’t have a problem with gay people, BUT–’ So you need to go beyond X is Bad. And I’ll admit that’s something I struggle with. Incidentally, that’s why in DLU Alera’s racism stems from her insecurities (and her desire for money, which comes up later); Alera is constantly afraid of giving up her power, so she tries to make sure she has all of it and constantly tries to claim it’s what Bikaia would have wanted. Do I succeed? I don’t know. Maybe. She’s also loosely based off a certain president, but we won’t go there. So I suppose this boils down to ‘don’t just make someone racist/sexist/homophobic; give them reasons for being racist.’
And I don’t mean, ‘this person hates gay people because a bisexual woman named Seraphina murdered their wife.’ Your readers aren’t going to be fooled by such an obvious ploy for sympathy. Like, I do think you can have a character be whatever because they don’t think they are, and that tells us something other than Don’t Be Racist, Zelda. But do the extra work beyond X Is Bad.
(That being said, if you are looking at writing about racism/ableism/transphobia you would definitely want to ask someone besides me. As much as I’ve learned about these from academia and other places, I am still an able-bodied cisgender white lady.)
So now, you’ve made your plot something besides a Very Special Episode™. At this point, you need to look at your characters. Why? Because characters drive plot. So if you’re writing about sexism/racism/homophobia/ableism, you’re probably going to have characters who are very diverse. You might have a hard time writing about biphobia if you don’t have an bisexual people in your story. So at this point (assuming I’d already done my research about these complicated issues), I would look at TVTropes. I’m not even kidding. It’s a great source for finding all the negative stereotypes associated with any given group of people.
Now, here’s where it gets tricky. Some tropes you very obviously should not use. But you also need to use some judgment here. For example, just because the Dashing Hispanic is a trope…doesn’t mean you should simply go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum and never write a Hispanic swordsman, even when the setting would call for it, and make all your Hispanic characters as un-dashing and unattractive as possible. And really, a lot of things (but definitely not all!) can be fixed if you humanize your characters really well. So keep in mind that your Hispanic swordsman isn’t just a swordsman or defined solely by his swordsmanship. Just like you aren’t also just a student/writer/whatever. Or maybe you take away the dashing bit and turn him into a flustered mess anytime a man/woman/nonbinary pal pops into the room.
Incidentally, some tropes can also be a good starting point if you notice there is a lack of diversity in them. I’ve been wanting to, for example, write a female Swashbuckler character (and well as a lady Hannibal Lecter) for ages and just haven’t gotten around to it.
(I personally also look up sporkings (chapter by chapter critiques) and/or reviews of relevant books for tips. Right now, I’m following a sporking of Mists of Avalon, once considered the feminist Arthurian adaptation before it was revealed what a horrific person Bradley was. Do I like Mists of Avalon or Marion Zimmerman Bradley? No. But if I want to write a bestselling feminist version of the Arthurian legend revolving around Sir Gawaine, I’m damn sure going to learn all the historical, feminist, homophobic, etc., missteps Bradley made. And I’ll happily recommend some sporkings if you’re trying to avoid certain things.)
So let’s say you don’t want to write about any of that. Let’s say you’re wanting to write about trauma. Depending on what you write, you want to be careful not to romanticize certain things. I’m not going to lie. As someone who was sexually abused as a kid, that is the absolute minimum standard for me. I cannot stand to read massive swaths of the romance and YA genres simply because of the way the Broody, Threatening Love Interest™ is romanticized. And as with anything else, do your research and ask questions. (Incidentally, the National Novel Writing Month forums are great for inquiries like this). Above all, be respectful.
If you can find them, beta readers are always a good option, especially if you can find people who have experienced the things you’re writing about. Or if you just have a couple of questions, you can always anon someone on Tumblr. Yes, some people may blow you off, but some of them won’t, especially if you’re polite and can show that you’ve already put forth effort to research that matter. (And not even kidding, I would answer EVERY bigoted question about the people of Appalachia if I NEVER had to read another nursing paper talking about how we’re “too stupid” to breastfeed and “feed all our babies Mountain Dew” ever again.)
Now, as for this profiting off others business. Let’s say you write your story, and it does actually bring you profit. Then, you use your platform to promote the voices of people who do have those experiences, and you acknowledge the great debt that you owe that community for sharing their experiences with you. And you acknowledge the luck and privilege that got you where you are. Support people working in the same area! You wrote a novel about a man in a terribly abusive relationship, and it becomes a bestseller? Great! Use your spotlight to share resources for abuse victims. You wrote a novel about a young person transitioning, and it garnered some success? Fantastic! Why don’t you point people to that underappreciated transgender writer?
And sometimes? You’re going to make mistakes, and sometimes, being told that you’ve made mistakes will really hurt because you’ve worked so hard not to make them. I know. I’ve been there a couple of times. When I wrote DLU, I knew I could get some things right. I knew I could write about child abuse and being mistreated by someone you loved and still loving and fearing that person because I’ve been there. And I knew I could write about depression and loneliness and struggling to trust people because I’d been there. I could even say I knew a little bit about classism because I grew up dirt-poor in rural Appalachia, babysitting my brother since I was nine because both of my parents worked multiple jobs.
But I also knew that when I wanted to make Meta Knight a Hispanic man that I was opening myself up to criticism about race. And when I wanted to make Bandanna Dee a trans man, I knew I was opening myself up to criticism about transphobia. And I knew that when I wanted to make one of the primary villains a really racist, evil queen that I was treading on ground that I had no personal experience with. And we haven’t even gotten to Nightmare’s backstory, which basically features the first-hand colonization of Traumwald. So guess what? Sometimes, I’ve gotten it really right. And sometimes, I’ve really screwed it up and had people send me messages saying, ‘Sera, no.’
(And this is crucial; what I haven’t gotten is ‘don’t try to write this type of character.’ Generally, people like seeing different characters with different problems, and if you treat those characters and your readers with respect, your readers will treat you with respect).
But if you’re going to take any one thing away from this post, let it be this: do your best and learn to accept criticism with grace. Don’t let your fear of messing up keep you from ever trying. It is far better to try and write an experience, having approached it with respect and nuance, than it is not to. And sometimes, you will mess up, and that’s okay. You apologize, you learn, and you do better. I, personally, would rather see a writer fail, learn, and do better than to never try at all. Because that’s what writing is. It’s a process of continually working to improve yourself.
#...although I don't know why you're asking a degenerate like me#Sera tries Writing!#looking at some of the...recent YA scandals might also be helpful#but don't let them scare you away from trying to branch out
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Fake or Fortune
For @omgrachwrites 1K Follower Celebration - congratulations!
AU: Fake Relationship
Billy Russo x Reader
A/N: This does not follow canon, it takes place in my Alternative S1 Punisher Universe, with Arrogant!Billy in attendance.
Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, slightly questionable consent, some dom/sub interaction, oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Swearing and drinking.
*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.
(My Photo Edit)
Karen put a large G&T down in front of you, accompanied by a sympathetic look. You picked it up and took a large sip, sighing as you put it back down again.
“I give up, Karen. No matter what I do, without fail I either pick the wrong guy or else think everything’s fine, and then boom - it isn’t.”
This was a commiseration drinking session, which Karen had suggested after she’d noticed you moping around the office. You both worked at the same big newspaper but in different departments, and became good friends after spending numerous lunchtimes together in the staff restaurant.
“What happened this time?” she asked, then winced as she realised maybe that wasn’t the most tactful way of putting things. “I mean, I thought you and David were getting on really well?” You took a larger gulp of your drink, “Well, that’s the thing - so did I. Until I got the “it’s not you, it’s me” talk on Saturday.” You’d been seeing this guy from your Digital News Content section for a few months, and you’d really thought everything had been on track.
Karen sighed, “Oh lord, not that old pile of bullshit.” You nodded, “Yeah, right. I tried to pin him down to exactly what the problem was, but I guess it was just me, when it all came down to it. In fact, I saw him chatting up a girl from Accounts yesterday so he’s already moved on to pastures new. That didn’t take long, did it? Or maybe he’d already moved on but didn’t have the balls to tell me.”
“Look, I’m meeting up with Frank on Friday night for a drink...” her cheeks pinked up, and you smiled at her obvious pleasure in that thought, “....so why don’t you come along? He mentioned one of his friends might tag along.” You held up a hand, “Oh no! No! I’m not being set up.” She shook her head, “It’s not a set-up, I swear. They’ve got a little....issue.... with Homeland and we’re going to talk about it.”
You knew she’d recently met this ex-Marine called Frank when - in her role as investigative reporter - she’d been digging into some big CIA scandal. When was there not a scandal about the CIA, you thought. You knew she’d met him several times over the past couple of weeks and had detected a more-than-just-business interest in him. “Oh, so.... strictly business, then?” you teased. She shifted in her seat, “Well, mainly.... we’ve also been talking about more personal stuff.” “Uh-huh,” you nodded, smirking, “Karen fancies Frank, Karen fancies Frank!” you sang, while she batted your arm and gave an embarrassed laugh.
“Oh shut up, you,” she said, “...are you coming along or not?”
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
And that’s why you found yourself sitting in a neighbourhood bar with Karen on Friday night, feeling quite nervous for some reason. Probably because Karen was fidgeting like hell next to you, and you were picking up on her nervous energy. You smiled over at her, “So you really like this guy, huh?” “No!”she denied, then as you raised an eyebrow at her, “Well... okay, yes I do like him. He’s so sweet.” Her eyes widened as she spoke, catching sight of two approaching figures, “Oh! Here he comes.” A big bear of a man came up to your table, smiling broadly at Karen and then including you in the smile as he stopped beside you. “Hey, Karen,” he greeted her, and she beamed back at him. “Hey, Frank,” and then she introduced you to him. His friend, who’d been partially blocked from your sight by Frank’s bulk, moved out from behind him and said ‘Hi - I’m Billy Russo,’ and shook your hand as he did so. “Nice ta meet ya,” said Frank, also shaking your hand and sitting down in the booth next to Karen.
The man who’d just introduced himself as Billy slid in next to you, and you tried not to stare. He was hot. Like, really hot. Dressed in a smart suit and overcoat, he really didn’t look like an ex-Marine, but Karen had told you that both Frank and his friend were ex-service, and that the friend had opened up a security firm called Anvil when he left the Marines. His handsome face turned towards you, and two very dark eyes looked into yours, “So.... you’re a friend of Karen’s?” You nodded, “Yeah, we just worked together to start with but now we’re besties.” “You a reporter too?” “Nah, I’m a lowly sub-editor on the news desk.” A sudden thought occurred to you, “Oh... and just to reassure you, this isn’t a set-up... you and me, I mean.” He smirked, and you found yourself staring at his lush brushed-back hair and sculpted jaw with its light beard. “Would it have been a big problem if it had been?” he was saying to you, and you shook yourself out of your little trance.
“No, I guess not...” you replied, laughing nervously, “...but I just wanted to get it out there.” He looked you over appraisingly, “Well, I wouldn’t have been disappointed at all,” the smirk got bigger, “....so if you change your mind, just let me know.” This left you speechless but he was still looking at you, asking, “Whaddya want to drink? First round’s on me,” before turning his gaze to the others.
Several beers later, you were sitting listening to the other three talking about a lot of indecipherable nonsense (from your point of view), and you were beginning to get antsy. “Karen, I’m going to head off,” you said in a break in the conversation and she looked slightly guilty, “Oh sorry... we’ve been going on about this for ages.” You shrugged, “It’s fine, Karen, honestly. I’ll see you Monday, okay? Have a great weekend.” You turned to the guys, “You too, and thanks for the drinks,” and made to move out of the booth. But Billy didn’t move. “See you home?” he questioned you, and you saw small smiles on both Karen and Frank’s faces. “Yeah, okay,” you nodded, and then he moved, standing aside as you slid out of the booth. As you headed to the door through the crowd of people, you felt his arm snaking around your lower back. Oooh, very confident, you thought. You’d marked him out as a player as soon as you’d set eyes on him.
“Sorry about the boring shop talk,” he said as you both hit the street, “....me and Frankie’ve got some problems with Homeland right now.” “That doesn’t sound good,” you said as you found yourself being guided around the corner from the bar. “Oh, I was going to take the subway,” you protested, but he shook his head, “This time on a Friday night? Nah.” He pointed towards a rather flashy-looking car parked in the street, “Got the car with me so I’ll take you home. I only had one beer, case you didn’t notice.” “I didn’t,” you admitted, “I thought you were sinking beers like the rest of us.” He gave a low laugh, “I was a sniper in the service, so I like to be aware of my surroundings at all times.” A little frisson ran through you, this guy was quite dangerous, you could tell. As you reached the car, he held the passenger door open for you and you climbed in, trying to be as elegant as possible although you weren’t sure you quite achieved that.
As he started the engine and moved the car out into the flow of traffic, he asked, “So what made you come along tonight if it wasn’t a set-up?” “I was bored. I just split up with my boyfriend of a few months so...” you shrugged. You heard a chuckle, “His loss.” “I don’t think that’s what he thought,” you replied, with a self-deprecating laugh. “Well, it’s true,” said Billy, “...believe me. He must be mad to give you up.” “You silver-tongued charmer,” you said back to him, and again you heard his deep chuckle.
“Seriously, it’s my gain. Look, this might seem a bit of an odd request seein’ as how we’ve only just met...” he began, looking across at you as he pulled up outside your apartment block, “....but you’d be doin’ me a big favour. How ‘bout you come along to this charity event I gotta go to next week? As my ‘plus one’?” You hesitated, and he carried on, “No strings, I promise. Just come along as my girlfriend and be on my arm all night. Help me ward off the attentions of someone I’d rather avoid.” You scoffed, “Fake dating? Really?!”
Much to your surprise, you found yourself walking into your building a few minutes later having just agreed to go to this event with Billy. He’d looked pleased, thanking you for saying yes. And you’d also been on the receiving end of a surprise kiss from him. He’d suddenly leant in, slid his big hand around the back of your neck and pulled you in, his mouth finding yours as he did. The kiss had been short but very sexy and you were still tingling from the after-effects.
He’d laughed at your look of total surprise, and wished you sweet dreams. You’d better be careful, warned your internal guardian angel, he said ‘No Strings’.... remember? So don’t go getting all invested in this guy. He’s a player.... for sure.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Billy and you had swapped numbers, and the following morning you were pleasantly surprised to get a text asking if you could meet him later that day. Intrigued, you texted back saying you didn’t have any other plans but why did he need to meet up? He came back saying he’d had an idea to help out with the event next week, and said he could pick you up. Feeling like you could be making a big mistake, you agreed so he said he’d be at your place around two.
You made sure you dressed casually. Not having any idea where you were going, but sure it wouldn’t be a date as such, you just chose a shirt and jeans with some suede ankle boots. When Billy texted you to say he was parked outside, you left your apartment and locked up, feeling a spark of excitement run through you as you did. “This is not a date, this is not a date, this is not a date!” you chanted in your head as you went downstairs. Billy, you saw with relief, was also dressed casually in jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket and combat boots. He gave you a big grin as you got in the car, the luxurious leather aroma of the interior filling your nostrils. “What make of car is this?” you asked, being an “it’s a black one” kind of girl. He gave you what could only be described as a smug smile, “Rolls Royce Wraith, sweetheart,” he answered. “Oh, okay,” you said, “....expensive, I take it?” “Very.” “Surprised you park it on the street the way you do then,” you shrugged, and he burst out laughing. “Is it one of those so-called penis extensions?” you asked next, and Billy nearly choked he was laughing so hard.
“Firstly, I take it that means you aren’t particularly impressed,” he gasped, getting his breath back after his laughing fit, “...and secondly, no darlin’, it definitely isn’t one of those ‘penis extensions‘ as you put it. Got no need for one-a those.” You returned his smirk, “Really? Well, I don’t care what car a guy drives,” you said firmly, “...that’s got nothing to do with what he’s like.” He glanced across at you as he swung the car into one of the downtown underground car parks. “And what do you think I’m like?” You looked at his profile as he concentrated on parking the big car in a corner space, “Mmmm... I think you’ve had a hard upbringing and now you’re making up for it. Big time.”
Billy switched the engine off and turned to stare at you, the dark eyes drilling into yours with an intensity you hadn’t been expecting. “Wow,” said Billy, “....you sure you’re not one-a these psychoanalysts or somethin’?” “Definitely,” you replied. “Well, you sure sound like you’ve been analysing me, sweetheart,” he said. You didn’t know him well enough to gauge his mood, and he carried on, “I mean, you got all that from meetin’ me last night and just now?” You nodded, saying neutrally, “I’m just speculating of course... but the expensive suits, the car, and I bet a big flashy apartment too, it just says ‘I can afford this now and I’m gonna enjoy it’ to me.” You were relieved to hear a chuckle as you’d been worried you’d really offended him. “Spot on,” he said, “...yeah, you’re spot on. I think you’re maybe in the wrong business.” You decided to change the subject, “So... where are we going, Billy?” “You’ll see in a minute,” he grinned, “....c’mon, let’s go sweetheart.”
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Minutes later, you were standing outside one of the expensive and trendy boutiques in the area. Billy’s hand went under your elbow and he steered you inside. “Billy... what’s going on?” He nodded to one of the staff who started making her way over to the two of you. “Look, it was my bright idea to drag you along to this thing, so the least I can do is treat you to a new outfit.” You were shaking your head before he’d stopped speaking, “Oh no, no... I can’t let you do that!” He was nodding back at you - it must’ve looked quite comical to the store assistant, “Oh yes, you will - I insist.” He turned to the woman, “Please can you help my girlfriend pick out an outfit for a formal event?” And before you could say anything else, he’d wandered over to a seating area near the changing rooms and seated himself in a comfortable armchair. “I’ll be right here, sweets,” he said, beaming at you. Girlfriend indeed, you thought.
The store assistant looked expectantly at you and you nodded hesitantly at her, so she led you over to some rails filled with lots of beautiful dresses. “How nice of your boyfriend to buy you a whole new outfit,” she commented, beginning to slide the dresses back and forth along the rail looking for a selection for you, “He’s very charming,” she continued, admiringly. “Yes, isn’t he,” you said between gritted teeth. Truthfully, you were feeling as if you were out shopping with your sugar daddy. But you had to admit that your bank account would’ve been protesting loudly if you’d had to make the purchase yourself, and you definitely would’ve had to buy something new as nothing in your wardrobe was even remotely suitable for a formal event. And he was right, this was all his bright idea. So you’d just suck it up, you thought, however reluctantly.
Eventually the assistant had several dresses folded over her arm for you to try on, and you sailed past Billy to the changing rooms without as much as a glance at him. But you just knew he was staring at you as disappeared behind the curtain.
After twenty minutes of struggling in and out of the various dresses, you had to admit that the assistant had made some good choices. There were three that you really liked, and you finally chose a midnight blue silky sheath of mid-thigh length, an asymmetric one-shoulder-strap neckline and a swirl of sequins diagonally across it from neck to hem. It was tight-fitting but didn’t show off an excessive amount of skin - you didn’t want to have it all out there on show after all.
The assistant had also brought several pairs of shoes to you once you’d chosen your dress, and you picked out a pair of matching delicate strappy sandals. Pleased with your choices, you put your own clothes back on and went out to find Billy. He looked up from his phone as you exited the changing room, a disappointed look on his face, “What.... no catwalk show for your boyfriend?” You leant down and whispered, “Okay, you’re laying it on a bit thick, Russo,” to which he grinned, gently took hold of your chin and softly kissed you. “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he smirked. Then a horrible thought occurred to you, “Billy!” you whispered forcefully. He looked a bit nervously at you, “What?” “There was no price tag on that dress or the shoes either!” He waved a hand at you, “Yeah? That’s okay, just leave it to me.” “No! That’s not on. I’m going to ask her what the price is.” He jumped up out of the armchair, “Nah, nah! Told ya, it was my idea you come along so just let me do this, okay?”
He set off without further delay to the cash desk, while you reluctantly waited in the seating area. Not particularly comfortable with the idea of him buying you an outfit, you decided that you’d offer to buy him dinner to kind of offset his no doubt hefty bill for the dress purchase. He came back over to you a few moments later carrying a large box in one of the boutique’s carrier bags which he handed to you with a grin. “She’d already boxed it before I could see it so it’s still gonna be a surprise when I see it on the night.” You smirked back, you were quite pleased about that. “Billy, let me buy you dinner as a thank you for the dress.” “Okay, I won’t say no to a free dinner,” he grinned, “...where d’ya wanna go?” You mentally reviewed your bank balance and named a mid-priced restaurant close by.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
After a pleasant couple of hours chatting over dinner, Billy drove you home. Debating how to end the night, you came up with what you felt was a decent plan. Not that you were trying to extend the evening of course. That would be just plain stupid as the ‘relationship’ was all a big fake. Remember? your brain asked you. “You know Billy, we haven’t prepared a back story yet, have we?” you said as he drew up outside your place. “A back story?” “Yeah. I mean, if this person you’re trying to avoid happens to ask us - together or separately - about our relationship, we need to be singing from the same songsheet, don’t we?” He looked thoughtful, “Uh yeah, you’ve got a point there.” “OK, well how about you come in for a glass of wine or a coffee and we can get that sorted now?” A devilish smirk appeared, “Plannin’ to ravish me, sweetheart?”
You felt your face heat up with a sudden blush, “No!! Purely to agree on the back story. But hey - we can just text about it if you’d prefer!” Embarrassed, you grabbed your bags, opened the car door and began to get out, but Billy grabbed your arm, “Hey, hey, sweetheart - I’m just kiddin’. Hold on an’ I’ll park up. We can walk up together.” You huffed slightly and closed the car door again, while Billy looked around for a parking space. Once parked, the two of you went up to your apartment and you unlocked the door, waving him inside and over to the sofa while you stashed the bags and headed to the kitchen area. “What would you like? Wine, beer or coffee?” “I’d better just have a coffee,” he said, “...don’t wanna get drunk and pass out in your apartment. Not a good look.” “I don’t see you as a ‘getting drunk’ kinda guy, Billy. You already told me you like to be aware of your surroundings.” He laughed, “You’re right, I don’t make a habit of gettin’ wasted.”
So you switched on your coffee machine and asked what kind of coffee he’d like, holding up a handful of different capsules. He strolled over to you, draping his leather jacket over the back of one of the high stools at your breakfast bar as he reached you. He leaned down slightly and looked at the selection you had in your hand, and you were suddenly very aware of the scent of his aftershave. “Whattya got there, then?” You took his hand and dumped them all in it, saying, “I’m just gonna fill up the water jug while you decide,” and moving swiftly away from him. You were finding it very difficult indeed to ignore the magnetic attraction he was exerting over you, but you really had to try harder as you were only going to end up getting hurt otherwise. He held out a capsule toward you, “Americano’s fine,” he said.
The two cups of coffee made a few moments later, you led him back over to the sofa and you both sat down at opposite ends. “Okayyyy,” said Billy, “....back story then?” You nodded, “Yeah. Nothing too fancy as the less details we have to remember the better.” “Good idea. We should probably add in some truth too. So.... we met through Karen & Frank?” “Yes, that’s a good start. Where did we meet and how long have we been seeing each other?” “Neighbourhood bar, and a coupla months?” “Okay, yeah. Actually is that about it? That was easier than I thought! Or...what else might they ask? Who is this person you’re avoiding - are they gonna be really nosy?” Billy snorted, “Oh yeah! Her name’s Caroline, a spoilt rich bitch. Her father owns a tech company and he supplies some of our equipment. She came along to one of the meetings recently and now she’s stalking me.” You grinned, “And that’s a problem for you? I would’ve thought you’d quite enjoy that, Billy.”
He grinned back, “Are you sayin’ I’m a player or somethin’?” “Well, aren’t you? I’m kinda getting that vibe.” Now he laughed out loud, “Maybe. But I like doin’ the chasing, sweetheart, not the other way round. If she ever got hold-a me, I’d never get outta her clutches.” “What - you wouldn’t? Not much of an ex-Marine then, are you?” He rolled his eyes, “Seriously, this woman’s so clingy she’d attach herself to me like a limpet mine. And I don’t like violence against women so I’d be in a difficult situation. Plus the main thing’s the business link with her daddy. His stuff’s good, I wouldn’t wanna have to replace him as a supplier. So you see, you’re doing me a solid here.” “When you say stalking you, do you mean literally?” “Well, like turning up at Anvil all the time to ‘check on the equipment’ and shit like that.” “So not outside the office then? I’m just thinking along the lines of her not seeing us around together before the event if she’s around you outside business hours. She might not buy it.” “As far as I know, only in office hours.”
“As far as you know? That’s not exactly reassuring if she’s as much of a stalker as you say she is.” He laughed, “No, I’m sure she’s not around apart from that.” “Okay, well is there anything else you can think of that she might ask?” He gave you a sly grin, “If we’ve slept together.” You got up and took your empty cup over to the kitchen sink, “Uh-huh.... well she can ask! We’ll just have to lie, won’t we?” You turned round only to find Billy invading your personal space again, and you moved back slightly in surprise. He followed, crowding you against the counter, dark eyes gazing into yours, “Uh... we don’t have to lie.” You leaned further back, your brain yelling ‘don’t give in to him!’ at you. “Billy... you suggested this whole thing and you also said ‘no strings’, remember? Well, if we did that... that would be strings, don’t you agree?” He reached round you and put his cup in the sink too, “Yeah, I guess so. Just thought we could make things look a little more.... authentic, y’know?” He turned and grabbed his jacket off the back of the stool, but then took you by surprise again by swooping in for a long kiss, pulling you against his body and his big hand sliding around the back of your neck. You pulled away, trying to catch your breath.
Those espresso-coloured eyes were gazing into yours, a lazy grin on his face. “Hey, you’ll need to get less jumpy when I do that else she’s definitely not gonna buy it.” He stood back from you, shrugging into his jacket, “Might need a bit more practice, sweetheart,” he smirked, “....so how about we meet up again tomorrow? We can learn a bit more about each other, as well as you getting more comfortable when I get physical with you,” and wiggled his eyebrows at you. Against your better judgement, you agreed and so he said he’d pick you up at four the next day.
Once he’d gone, you poured yourself a stiff brandy. You couldn’t deny you wanted to spend more time with him, much as you knew you were setting yourself up for a fall. Really... just what the hell did you think you were doing?
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Billy was thinking the very same thing to himself as he drove away. He was enjoying those kisses way too much. But he was the one who’d suggested this whole fake relationship thing, and definitely with ‘no strings’. Because that was the Russo Way.
He’d better get his head back on straight, and stop thinking about the gorgeous woman in the apartment back there as anything other than a way to ditch the very irritating Caroline.
He also got the distinct feeling she’d marked him out as a player and wouldn’t want to get involved with him anyhow. Well, he was a player and he couldn’t deny that. Wasn’t sure he could ever see himself as a one-woman man. Caroline was attractive enough and in the normal way of things, he’d’ve taken her out maybe a couple of times, fucked and then forgotten her. But her father and Billy’s business relationship complicated things somewhat.
So yeah, he’d make sure she saw him with a lovely woman on his arm at the gala, kiss (and maybe fuck if he got lucky) the lovely woman at the end of the night and move right along. Apart from anything else, the fact that she was Karen’s friend complicated things way beyond what he wanted to get involved in, because he couldn’t afford to upset either her or her friend, Frankie’d kill him if he did.
Definitely better stick with the Russo Way. It had never failed him before, had it?
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
The next day, Billy glided the car to a stop outside her apartment block at 4 o’clock as promised, dropping her a quick text to announce his arrival. Soon, he saw her figure walking out of the main door and making her way towards him.
Damn! Mmm, she was looking good. Little pink sundress, short denim jacket, bare legs and low wedge pink sandals. Yeah, really cute. Smart and funny too. And sexy, of course. Very sexy. Totally fuckable. Completely and utterly fuckable. Woah - stop that Russo! Right now!
All these thoughts ran through his head in the 10 seconds it took her to reach the car.
He leant over and pushed open the passenger door for her, “Hi sweetheart.”
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
You’d noticed Billy’s eyes running over you as you went up to the car, and then spotted his tongue making a swift trip over his bottom lip as he greeted you. You got the feeling he was looking at you like you were a snack to be consumed. Determined to resist how attracted you felt to him, you hopped into the car and said Hi back. Billy’s big hand landed on your thigh as you fastened your seat belt, his long fingers sliding upwards. Batting them away, you continued clipping yourself in and he laughed, leaning across and pulling you to him, kissing you long and slow. Breaking apart, he said, “Remember we gotta practice, sweetheart,” grinning at you. “Mmmhuh,” you nodded, “I remember you saying that.” “Just relax! Get comfortable with me touchin’ and kissin’ you. We’re boyfriend and girlfriend after all.” “Mmmhuh,” you said again, and once more his hand found its way onto your thigh and began stroking, eventually inching upwards again.
This time, you decided to stay still, thinking that yes, you had better get comfortable with this if this whole stupid fake relationship thing was going to work. But when his hand parted your legs and one long slim finger swiftly made its way inside your panties and - without further warning - actually inside you, you jumped like a startled deer and squirmed away from him. “Billy!” you protested loudly, but he merely smirked victoriously at you and pushed a second finger inside you to join its cousin. You shoved at his resistant arm, “Stop it!” His mouth found yours and he began kissing you as his fingers moved steadily in and out of you then his thumb was on your clit, and he began massaging firmly. “Sssshhh, sweetheart, we’re just messin’ around,” you heard his low voice in your ear, “...this is high school stuff.” “But I didn’t say you could do this to me!” you snarled, trying to ignore how good he was making you feel, and you felt his fingers leave you. He sat back in his car seat, taking a tissue out of his jacket pocket and slowly wiping his fingers, looking across at you all the while with a contemplative look on his face.
“I’m sorry,” he said, but not sounding regretful at all, “I didn’t think you’d mind. Thought it’d loosen you up a bit like we said.” He smirked at you, “You can’t deny I got you wet, and I know you’re attracted to me. Thought you’d enjoy it.” Your mouth dropped open, “You arrogant fucker!” you exclaimed, “You know what, you can take your fake dating shit and shove it where the sun doesn’t fucking shine!” You jumped out of the car, slamming the door with an almighty bang behind you. Stomping back up to your apartment, you opened your front door and slammed it behind you too, angrily throwing your bag onto the sofa as you passed on your way to the kitchen. You took off your jacket and threw it onto a high stool, furious enough to take a bottle of gin out of the cupboard and grab a clean glass from the dishwasher. You were just taking a bottle of tonic water out of the fridge when there was a knock at your door.
Okay, well that was either your annoying across-the-hall neighbour... who complained about anything and everything... here to moan about the door-slamming, or else it was Billy. Whoever was on the other side of the door was going to be greeted by your frowning face, and you really didn’t give a shit which one it was. You dramatically swung open the door, and it was in fact Billy Russo who was confronted by your unhappy visage. He immediately held up his hands in a placatory gesture. “Look, I am really, truly, sorry. I ... can I come in and explain?” You turned on your heel and walked back to the kitchen, leaving him to close the door behind him and follow in your footsteps. “Want a drink?” He nodded, “I’d love a beer if you’ve got one, please.” You took a bottle of beer out of the fridge and handed it to him, then got a bottle top remover for him out of one of your drawers.
He popped off the cap then took a long swig, as he watched you prepare a G&T for yourself. You also took a big sip then leant back against the counter and regarded him with a steely gaze. “You said you wanted to explain.” He took another gulp of beer and began, “I.... look, I’m so sorry okay? I totally misread the situation.” Sipping your gin, you said, “I’ll say you did, Billy! I get the distinct impression you mistook me for one of the easy lays you no doubt pick up in bars. Is that how you treat your one-and-done’s, huh? Well, don’t try that shit with me, okay?” He looked over at you shamefaced and shrugged, “Uhhh...I ..uhh.. yeah, I guess I did.... look, I really am sorry, sweetheart. I can’t apologise enough, and I really didn’t mean to upset you.” You took another big hit of your gin, slightly - but only very slightly - mollified. “And as for your comment that I’m attracted to you...!!!” Momentarily you were speechless, unsure what you wanted to say or how to put it. Mainly because it was the truth, you acknowledged to yourself.
Before you could say anything, Billy held up his hands again, “I’m incredibly embarrassed about saying that. Really crass. And arrogant, as you said.” You noticed that his face had pinked up somewhat. “In fact just forget I said it,” he carried on. “Bit late for that now isn’t it! Did you say it because you’re used to women falling at your feet, Billy?”
He looked down at the beer bottle in his hand, waggling it back and forward before saying, “Yeah. If I’m honest, I don’t usually haveta try too hard.” His eyes met yours, “And if I’m bein’ even more honest, gotta admit I’m attracted to you. Like, really attracted. So, yeah - I was hoping for something more than just going to the charity event with you.”
You drew in a big breath. What? What did he just say to you? No. You mentally shook your head, and then realised you were actually shaking it. “Billy.... you’re a player, that much is blatantly obvious. Would you know what a relationship is if it came up and bit you on the ass? Something tells me you wouldn’t.” He had the grace to look guilty. You continued, “So here’s what we’ll do. If you still need me to come along to the gala, then I’ll do that. And then we’ll go back to being strangers. Okay?”
He twirled his beer bottle between his long fingers, and shrugged, “Okay, sweetheart. M’happy you’re still gonna help me out. But can’t we at least be friends afterwards? Reckon Karen ‘n Frank’re gonna be seeing a lot of each other so we’ll probably keep bumping into each other.” Your face softened into a smile, “Yeah, they like each other don’t they? You’re right, we probably will be spending some time together because of those two. Okay... friends, then.”
He smiled at you, approaching warily and sliding his hand round to the back of your head and up into your hair, pulling you closer. “M’gonna kiss you, s’that okay?” but being Billy, didn’t wait for your reply. His lips met yours in a gentler kiss than earlier, his fingers stroking the back of your neck. He moved his hips against yours, and you knew he’d done this so you’d feel his erection against your body. You moved sideways and pulled away from him, why did he have to make you breathless when you just wanted to be cool, calm and collected around him? He looked a bit crestfallen, but recovered swiftly and asked, “How about we order in some food and just spend some quality time together?” You sighed, “Okay, Billy, let’s do that. But no more groping or anything, okay?” He nodded, looking serious and miming a cross over his heart, “Promise.”
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
You pushed the pizza box away from you, “God, I’m stuffed.” Billy picked up his beer bottle and drank, giving a small delicate burp as he did so, “Me too.” Reaching over, he picked up the remote and began flicking through Netflix, “Whaddya wanna watch next?” he asked. “Mmmm, you pick a movie. But not one about war.” He laughed, “Oh don’t worry, I never watch war films, had enough-a that in real life.” Lying back and letting out a deep breath, you said apologetically, “I bet you did. Sorry.” Shrugging, he also lay back, his head turning towards you, “S’okay. We can talk about it sometime if you like. And about my less-than-perfect childhood. And some of my more recent fuck-ups.” He gave a bitter laugh, “I’m a fuckin’ train wreck, sweetheart - you’ve made the right decision, best you don’t get involved with me.” His eyes looked big and a bit glossy, and before you could help yourself you’d laid your hand on his shoulder, “I’m sure you’re not that bad, Billy.” He turned away from you, looking at the TV before selecting a sci-fi fantasy movie, “Oh believe me, I am,” he said in a low voice.
You shifted a bit closer to him on the sofa, “Don’t be so down on yourself, Billy. You’ve achieved a lot of things... got your own company, fancy car, fine suits, lots of money, prestige.” He grinned at you, “But all that doesn’t matter to you, does it?” You shook your head, “No, but they’re still achievements to be proud of.” His head dropped and some locks of hair fell over his forehead. “Thank you,” he mumbled, and you watched as your hand went of its own accord to his face and stroked the errant hair back off his forehead. His head swivelled towards you, dark eyes gazing into yours; he took hold of your arms and drew you against his chest. “Can we snuggle?” he asked you, then wrapped his arms right around you, before lying down and swinging his long legs up onto the sofa, pulling you with him. You snorted out a laugh, “Snuggle? That doesn’t exactly fit with your ex-soldier or current playboy personas!” “Aw, c’mon sweetheart, gimme a break - I’m tryin’ to be a well-behaved boy here!” You snuggled into his chest a bit, “Okay, but remember - no wandering hands!” He held up both hands, “Not wandering - look!” before placing them chastely on your arm and shoulder.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Your eyes opened, and you groggily looked around you, disorientated. Hearing soft little snores from beneath you, you raised your head to look at Billy’s sleeping face. Oh. You’d both obviously dozed off in front of the TV, the Netflix menu now on the screen. Moving slowly, you started to try and stand up but two hands went round your arms in a vice-like grip. “Where you off to?” said Billy’s deep voice. “Just...ummm... just...” you stuttered, but suddenly you were underneath him, his weight pressing you down as his mouth found yours in a hungry kiss. You knew you should resist but damn, he was a good kisser! Feeling yourself dissolve into the kiss, one of your hands moved up to his bristly jawline.
His kisses became more passionate and he pushed himself against you even more, his arousal very evident. You tried to ignore them but your feelings of desire for him were becoming overwhelming, and your arms went round his neck almost unbidden. He was smiling against your lips, and you heard, “Wanna sleep with me? D’you wanna?” Your treacherous mouth said “Yes!” in a breathy whisper, and that was all Billy needed to hear.
He picked you up in his arms, whispering “Where’s your bedroom?” You nodded towards its general direction and he carried you across the apartment and into your room. Setting you down, his fingers were immediately at the zip of your dress, pulling it down, pushing the fabric down then further down until your dress was round your ankles, before whipping it fully off and dropping it onto the floor. You watched him as his eyes roamed all over your body, taking in your lacy lingerie and moving the straps of your bra off your shoulders. “Mmmmm, sweetheart - wow - even better than I imagined,” he said hoarsely, his hands going round your back and unclipping your bra. He stripped it off you and dropped it, both hands immediately cupping your breasts and massaging firmly, thumbs running over your nipples as they peaked. Moving you backwards until your head hit the pillows, you felt his fingers pulling the fabric of your panties aside and suddenly the head of his cock was at your core and pushing inside you. “No time for foreplay, sorry,” you heard and you gave a deep groan when he kept going, feeling his balls brushing your pussy as he fully sheathed himself. His head went back and he gasped, “Fuck!” before he began to thrust. He lifted your legs and draped them over his hips, encouraging you to cross your ankles on his back to pull him even closer.
His mouth was everywhere on you, kissing you deeply one minute before his mouth went to one of your nipples, teasing it with his tongue while his thumb and fingers toyed with the other, then his mouth and teeth were on your neck and shoulders while he set a ferocious pace. A constant stream of low groans were leaving your lips as he moved on you, and you could hear him gasping and muttering words above you, not all of which you could catch, but you did hear “Uhhh, been wantin’ to do this to ya since the minute we met” between thrusts. You ran your hands over his chest and up around his neck, threading your fingers through his lush hair, and you felt him shiver as you pulled on it gently. His thumb was on your clit now, rubbing at you relentlessly and your orgasm washed over you like a wave. His teeth were fastened onto your shoulder and he bit down as you felt his body tense as he came. He lowered himself gently onto you before rolling off, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as he got his breath back. “Wow,” he said quietly, before moving onto his side and gazing at you, running a finger gently along your jaw. “Yes, wow,” you replied, putting your hand on his bristly cheek.
“Well, if Caroline does ask if we’ve slept together, now we don’t have to lie,” smirked Billy. This instantly ruined the mood and you sat up, prior to wrapping one of the covers round you and getting out of bed. He looked a bit surprised, but you began moving away from the bed towards the bathroom. Returning a few moments later, you hesitated for a moment before climbing back into bed beside Billy, who was still lying there in all his naked glory. He immediately moved next you, his hands on your arm, “Did I say something wrong earlier? You were up and off like a ballistic missile.” You looked over at him, “A girl doesn’t exactly like to hear another one’s name getting mentioned just seconds after lovemaking.” A guilty look passed over his face, “Awww, shit!... I didn’t think, I’m really sorry... I was just so happy you slept with me, sweetheart.” He stroked your hair away from your face, “Forgive me? And my big clumsy mouth?” You huffed a bit but eventually nodded, not least due to the soft kisses he was peppering over your face and neck.
He breathed a sigh of relief, “I seem to spend all my time apologising to you,” he chuckled, “I’m really making a mess of this fake dating.” “Can’t argue with you there, Billy,” you agreed. “Look, I’m gonna try a lot harder, okay?” he said, running a finger along your arm. You sighed, “Okay... well here’s hoping it’ll be alright on the night.”
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
The rest of the week, you and Billy had traded phone calls and text messages but (to your secret disappointment) the two of you didn’t meet up. To your mind that could only mean that Billy, who’d admitted to you that he liked the thrill of the chase, had now already caught you so that was it as far as he was concerned. He’d said that his work had been crazy busy but you didn’t feel at all convinced by that.
Friday eventually rolled around, and you were glad you’d decided to take a half day off work to get ready. Karen had strolled up to your desk as you were packing up your stuff before leaving, and you recognised her ‘Serious Talk’ look on her face. She walked along to the elevator with you and followed you inside. “Y’know I hope you really enjoy your evening with Billy tonight, but....” she bit her lip before continuing, “...you know he’s a player, right?” She quickly put her hand on your arm as the elevator reached the ground floor, “I’m not trying to spoil your fun, honestly I’m not, but some of the things Frank’s let slip recently would make your toes curl. Billy’s totally ruthless when it comes to cutting women loose.” The elevator doors opened and you both walked out, with you saying, “Don’t worry Karen, I sussed that out the minute I saw him,” over your shoulder as you continued out into the main lobby. You stopped and turned to her, lowering your voice and continuing, “But I slept with him last weekend and just as expected, he’s avoided meeting up with me all during this week.” Her mouth tightened, and you knew you were in for a Page Lecture. “Gahhh! What were you thinking?! You’ve just reinforced his impression that he can pull any woman he wants and then disappear on her! I can’t believe you didn’t even wait for this gala thing tonight! You could at least have held off till then.”
“Yes, mom,” you sighed, then smiled at her. “But you know what Karen, he’s so hot I just couldn’t resist! And I knew exactly what his reaction would be, and he hasn’t disappointed. He’s been in touch obviously because we’ve got this thing tonight, but he’s been ‘too busy at work’ to meet up. I’m sure that in Russo-speak, that really means ‘too busy chasing tail’ but I’m cool with that. Like I said, it’s what I expected,” shrugging as you said this. “Hmmmm,” replied Karen, staring at you intensely as if trying to read your mind, “...well as long as you know what you’re getting yourself into.” “I do,” you reassured her, hugging her before walking away with a nonchalant wave.
Out on the street you exhaled a big breath. If only you truly believed that.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Billy pulled up outside her apartment block and, as before, texted her to say he was there.
He was disappointed that he hadn’t been able to meet up with her during the week, and was also aware she probably thought he was avoiding her now they’d slept together. But he’d truly been up to his ears in it at work, and he wasn’t yet established enough in the security market to turn down job offers. So he’d taken on probably a few more than he should have done, and both he and Frank had had to weigh in on a couple of them to make sure they were handled correctly.
So apart from calls and texts, he’d had to miss out on seeing her. In fact, all he’d been thinking of the entire week was the prolonged session they’d indulged in last weekend. Once he’d apologised for mentioning Caroline’s name after they’d first made love, (really smart move Russo, he thought to himself) there had been a whole night of energetic and very enjoyable sex. Then a shared shower late the next morning after she’d woken him up with a surprise and very welcome blow job. God, the things she could do with her mouth! He squirmed in his seat, starting to get hard just thinking about it. He couldn’t wait for another one of those, that was for sure. Tonight after the gala if he was lucky!
He saw the main door to her apartment block open and she started walking towards the car. Wish I could get a better idea of how she looked in her dress, he thought. Oh well, I’ll just need to wait till we actually get to the place.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
You slid into Billy’s flashy car, tucking your feet in last in an effort to be elegant. He leaned over, grabbing the back of your neck and kissing you long and hard. You eventually shoved him away, exclaiming “Billy! My lipstick!” You peered at his face, “And you’re covered in it!”
He burst out laughing, “Well, hello sweetheart!”
You handed him a tissue whilst you began trying to repair the smudges around your lips. He dampened it on his tongue and then quickly rubbed the burgundy colour off his mouth. Once you’d fixed your face, you leant over towards him and his mouth headed to yours again but you pulled back. “I’m checking your shirt collar to make sure there’s none on there!” Chuckling, he started up the car, “I did wonder why you waited till you’d put your lipstick back on before kissin’ me again.” “You kissed me!” you protested. He just laughed and manoeuvred the car into the traffic stream.
His head then swung towards you, “If you say so, sweetheart! Hey, I’d say you look beautiful but I can’t get a proper look at you in the car. So wait a little while till we get there and then I can compliment you properly, okay?” You nodded, “Yeah, same. I can’t get a look at you either.” Another chuckle, “You can see as much of me as you want later tonight, sweetheart.” “You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?!” Billy’s hand stole onto your thigh and travelled higher. “Wearin’ panties?” You tolerated his wandering fingers, “Yes I am, Marine. Sorry to disappoint.” He shrugged, smirk firmly in place, “Fine by me. They’re not gonna stop me gettin’ to where I wanna be anyhow.” Somewhat surprisingly to you, his hand went back onto the steering wheel. “But I’m gonna wait till we’re alone later. See, sweetheart - I’ve learned my lesson!” “Glad to hear it!” you shot back at him, before looking out of the window at the passing streets.
After arriving and parking at the venue, one of the big downtown hotels, you and Billy made your way upstairs to the function room. Leaving your coats at the cloakroom, Billy twirled you round in front of him, looking you over slowly from top to toe. “You look gorgeous,” he said admiringly, “really beautiful.” “Thank you. Not so bad yourself, Russo.” He was in one of his bespoke suits and was looking edible. He mock-bowed then leant down and kissed you on the lips, and you reminded yourself to act naturally when he did that. You both began walking towards the sound of music and chatter, his hand straying down onto the top of your ass as you went. Karen’s voice rang in your ears about how much of a player he was, and once again you fought the instinct to swat his hand away. If you could just do your duty and get through tonight, then you could put yourself deep into protective mode over this handsome devil.
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Several gin & tonics later, you were returning from the ladies’ room and heading back to where you’d left your ‘boyfriend’ at the bar, wondering how much more of this tedious event you could stand, when you heard a high-pitched voice trilling, “Oh Billy! There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
Hahah! you thought, this must be the infamous Caroline! Well, at least this next part is going to inject some much-needed fun into the evening.
You could see a small brunette standing in front of Billy with her hands grasping his biceps and beginning to pull him towards her. He spotted you approaching over her shoulder and extricated himself from her clutches saying, “Caroline.... how nice to see you! Just in time for me to introduce you to my girlfriend...” “Girlfriend?!” She whirled round and met your eyes, her own narrowing as she looked you up and down in a flash. You continued walking towards the two of them, noting that she was pretty but was heavily made up; she really didn’t need to plaster it on like she had but - whatever, you thought. Billy moved past her to swiftly put his arm around your waist and draw you to him, introducing you at the same time. She nodded her head briefly at you, “Hi, I’m Caroline. A friend of Billy’s.” She emphasised the word ‘friend’. You beamed back a big smile at her, “Lovely to meet another of his friends,” you said, also emphasising the word. You felt Billy tense up a bit, but you thought that playing the jealous girlfriend might be a good way to go, especially when you noticed the little smirk on her face. You tugged on his arm, “C’mon Billy, you promised me a dance,” you said in a ‘little girl’ voice, which nearly made you heave quite frankly but you felt struck the right note.
Billy raised a hand vaguely towards Caroline as he said to you, “Yes I did, sweetheart. Let’s go. Bye, Caroline - good to see you,” and then gave you a long kiss as the two of you headed to the dance floor. Once Billy had you in his arms, you felt his lips next to your ear and he whispered, “So.... jealous girlfriend, huh?” You nodded, smiling up at him, “She’ll like the fact that I think she’s a threat. But as long as you keep up the PDA’s, I think she’ll buy it.” He immediately kissed you, the hand which had been on your waist surreptitiously sliding downwards at the same time. As you broke apart from the kiss, you caught sight of Caroline glaring at the two of you from a table near the edge of the dance floor. You ran your hand up onto Billy’s jaw before continuing to the back of his neck. You’d discovered during your night together that this was one of Billy’s weak spots, so you trailed your fingers over his skin and had him wrapped round your finger within seconds, just as had happened that other night. He pressed his body close against you, ensuring you felt how aroused he was. “When can we skip out of here?” he breathed to you, making you laugh. “I don’t know! It’s your event - when do you want to stay until?”
Before he could reply, you were aware of a figure next to you and a hand went onto Billy’s arm. “Mind if I cut in?” asked Caroline, giving you a nasty smirk. However it dropped off her face when Billy said hurriedly, “Sorry, Caroline - we’re just leaving,” and began leading you off the dance floor. “Oh, that’s such a shame,” you heard, and realised she was trailing after you and Billy as you left the dance floor. “I was so looking forward to hearing all about how you & Billy met.” You stole a quick glance at Billy before saying over your shoulder, “Through mutual friends.” Still following you both as you headed over to pick up your coats, she rattled out, “it’s just that I’m a bit surprised - it seems quite strange that Billy never mentioned a girlfriend before tonight.” Billy looked irritated but his face became blank as he turned slightly back towards her and replied, “Uh, I am right here y’know!.... well Caroline, we never spoke about our personal lives so it’s not that strange at all to be honest.” You’d reached the small counter by now and had handed over the tickets to the attendant, and while you’d hoped that Billy’s answer would have silenced her, Caroline continued, “So how long have you been dating?” You turned and stared at her, and found her already staring back at you, “Mmm, it’s about two months now, isn’t it Billy?” and moved your eyes to his. He glanced quickly behind him at her, “ Yes, sweetheart - a little over two months actually,” he turned back to you, smiling fondly, “and I gotta say, they’ve been two of the sweetest months of my life.” He leant down and kissed you full on the lips.
Caroline’s lip curled up at this and was still curling as you met her annoyed gaze once Billy’s lips left yours. “Well,” she began, but was then interrupted by a tall older man who came up to the three of you and placed a hand on Caroline’s shoulder. “Hello, Russo,” he said, shaking hands with Billy who greeted him with a “Hi, Mike,” as the older guy’s eyes wandered quizzically over to you. “And who’s this lovely young lady, then?” he asked but before either you or Billy could say anything, Caroline spat out, “His girlfriend, Daddy - imagine that!” However her father merely gave you a friendly grin while Billy introduced you. After a quick handshake, he commented that it was a real shame that you were both leaving before he could buy you a drink. But Billy said firmly, with a mischievous look at you, “Sorry, Mike.... we’re... uhhh... quite anxious to get home.” Mike laughed knowingly while you heard a loud ‘tut’ from his daughter. You smiled brightly at both of them, “Well.... lovely to meet you and hope you enjoy the rest of the evening. Bye!” Taking your coat from the attendant, Billy helped you into it before putting on his own and the two of you said final goodbyes to Mike and Caroline before making your escape.
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“Thank god that’s over!” you breathed out a sigh of relief as you settled back into your seat, while Billy switched on the car’s powerful engine and it purred into life. “You didn’t enjoy it?” he grinned, “...even with such a charming boyfriend attending to your every need all evening?!” You laughed, “Sorry Billy, no I didn’t. I hated every second of it! But I think we accomplished the mission, don’t you?” Turning your head and watching his profile as he reversed the car out of the parking space, you asked, “D’you want me to get the dress dry-cleaned and you can take it back to the store? I mean I’ve only had it on for a few hours and I managed not to spill anything down it.” He glanced over at you, a strange look in his eyes. “No, I don’t want you to clean it and return it. It’s yours to keep. And yes, we did achieve our goal.” He started driving away from the hotel, and you realised it was the wrong direction for your place. You’d never been to his apartment but had a feeling that’s where you were heading.
“Where are you going, Billy? I just want dropped off at home so I can get out of all of this and relax.” He laughed, and for some reason you thought he sounded a bit pissed off. “Ahh no, that’s not happenin’, sweetheart,” he said, looking across at you, eyes gleaming with something but you weren’t sure exactly what. Determination? Desire? “We’re headin’ to mine. And yeah, you’re gonna be gettin’ out of those clothes, don’t worry.” “Look, Billy,” you said, feeling a bit uneasy for some reason, “...we’re done here, okay? We’ve already slept together, you got what you wanted so now you move on, correct? That’s your usual M.O. isn’t it? You made that obvious this week. Don’t worry, I got the message loud and clear. I’m not some clingy desperate woman that’s gonna keep chasing after you. I knew what the deal was with you the minute I set eyes on you. So.... just turn around and take me home.” You’d been staring at the road ahead but were aware of him shaking his head, “No.” You looked across at him, “No? What, you’re kidnapping me now?” “You can think of it that way if you like, sweetheart. I knew you’d think I was avoidin’ you this week, but I wasn’t. I’m not ready to let you get away just yet. We’re gonna go to mine, and you’re gonna spend the night on your back - and in various other positions - cos I need another night of sex with you.”
“And what if that’s not what I want? What if I don’t want to be used like a fuck toy before you disappear over the horizon? Doesn’t it matter to you what I want?” He chuckled, and you felt a little shiver of fear run through you, “Not right now, no. Because this is all I’ve been thinkin’ about the whole week. And because you’re sayin’ one thing, but you mean another.” “Really?! That’s what you think?” you scoffed, shaking your head, “You’re unbelievable, you know that? The level of arrogance....!” He pulled the car over into the inside lane and then turned into an underground car park. He killed the engine, and in the sudden silence you heard him say in a low voice, “Call it arrogance if you like. I call it knowing what I want and makin’ sure I get it.” He released his seat belt and got out of the car, coming round and opening your door before taking hold of your arm and pulling you out of it. He locked the car with a bleep of the remote on his keychain, then dragged you - firmly but not roughly - over to an elevator which he unlocked with a key before calling it down. Once it arrived, he hustled you inside and once the doors closed, his mouth was instantly on yours. He kissed you roughly, open-mouthed with teeth and lips and tongue all involved. His hands were undoing the buttons on your coat and then were inside it, immediately going to your breasts.
You struggled with him, trying to push him off but he continued kissing you, and you heard his voice telling you to just admit you wanted it. The awful thing was, you did want him and it annoyed the hell out of you. However his current attitude was also annoying the hell out of you so you continued to push at his muscled, toned body to get him off you. But you were no match for the ex-Marine and you heard a ‘ting’ and the elevator doors opening as Billy continued to kiss and grope you. He pushed you firmly out of the lift, keeping hold of your arm and propelling you towards a door - the only door, you noticed - and then into the apartment after he unlocked the door. He slammed it behind him then was on you in a flash, grabbing your bag and throwing it onto the sofa before stripping off your coat and dropping it on the floor. You were aware of being in a large open-plan space with floor-to-ceiling windows and trendy furniture, before you were scooped up as easily as if you were a throw cushion and carried into an equally large bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him and dumped you rather unceremoniously on the bed, stripping his clothes off in a matter of seconds and letting them fall where they may. Then he was back on you, flipping you over and unzipping your dress in one quick motion. He stripped it down off your shoulders, turned you back over and pulled it off you. You looked up at him, finally finding your voice, “Billy! Stop it.” He shook his head, “Nah, not happenin’ sweetheart. We’re gonna have sex now.” You opened your mouth but nothing would come out. Why couldn’t you say anything else?
Because you do want it, said a sly voice in your head. And whilst the caveman routine might not be the most appealing of Billy’s wooing techniques, he’d excited you beyond belief and you could feel how damp your panties were. You’d told yourself before the evening started that you weren’t going to have sex with him that night, but at the same time had perversely hoped that it would in fact happen. You were absolutely furious with yourself but at the same time, totally conflicted and unable to ignore the desire you felt for him.
You felt his fingers fumbling a bit at your back and then your bra was dramatically whipped off and thrown across the room. His mouth and hands were immediately on your breasts, fingers massaging and toying with one nipple while he licked the other, his tongue roughly raking over its peak and surrounding skin before he started to suck and bite at it, enough to make you squeal but not hard enough to cause you real pain. Then he swapped and your other breast came in for the same treatment. You felt his fingers sliding down your body and pulling at your panties, after a few seconds he then sat up and stripped them off you. They also joined your bra across the other side of the room. He lowered himself onto you, hands parting your legs and you knew he was guiding himself inside you. His hard length pushed into you and you felt the stretch much more than you had the first time you’d had sex with him. Of course he was in a more of a rush this time, seemingly desperate to have sex with you, judging by the way he’d thrown you down, ripped your clothes off and immediately got between your legs.
He slid his hands under your knees and lifted your legs up until your ankles were on his shoulders, deeply thrusting into you as he did so, and you heard yourself give a loud groan. He gave a long, low groan himself as he picked up his pace, and you heard his whispered words next to your ear, “You like that, sweetheart? Feel good?” “Yes!!!!!” you gasped, hating yourself for admitting it but it was the absolute truth. He kissed you passionately, hands running up and down your legs and onto your body as he thrust hard into you, mouth moving to your neck and collarbone, nipping at your skin then licking where he’d lightly bitten you. You climaxed first, Billy’s thumb having found its favourite place on your clit, and you’d dug your nails into his shoulders before running your hands up into his hair and pulling it. Hearing his answering chuckle, his hips cannoned into yours a final few times before you felt him release into you, and he sank down heavily on top of you, panting and trying to get his breath back. He moved off you and laid on his back, seemingly exhausted by his over-eager exertions. His head tilted towards you, “I’m not finished with you yet, sweetheart. Need more.”
You propped yourself up on an elbow, “Just what the fuck is all this neanderthal stuff about, Billy?” He sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. “Remember you said I wouldn’t know what a relationship was if it bit me on the ass?” “Yeah?” “You’re right. I’ve never experienced a loving relationship in my life. I dunno what love is, really.” Then out it all spilled.... his abandonment as a very young kid, the group homes, the abuse, the stigma. How he’d signed up for the Marines as soon as he was old enough, got a business degree before shipping out, how Frank had his back almost from day one. The dark eyes eventually looked into yours, “So just confirmin’ - I’m officially shit at relationships.” You nodded thoughtfully, “Well... now I understand things a little bit better, Billy. You discard women after a very short time as a self-defence measure, because you have a fear of being abandoned again. Ditch them before they can ditch you, right? Because you still have self-esteem issues, deep down underneath that confident exterior. It’s hard to overcome years of being looked down upon and sidelined.” You reached out and ran your fingers through his small patch of chest hair. He flinched slightly so you withdrew your hand, but his own hand went out and he laid it on top of yours for a brief moment.
Then he sat up a bit and stretched, laughing as he did so, “Told you, you’re in the wrong job, sweetheart.” He leaned back onto the pillows, carefully looking away from you, “Guess I didn’t do a very good job of lettin’ you know I want you to stay around and be with me?” You sat up, pulling one of the sheets over you, “What?” you asked. He looked over at you again, “All of this,” his hand waved vaguely between you and him, “This is me tryna let you know I really like you. I honestly missed bein’ with you during the week. An’ I was really busy, me and Frank, all week - I wasn’t tryna avoid you, okay? All I could think about was the night we spent together, how I want that to be a regular thing. Spend time with you.”
You started chuckling to yourself before it bubbled up into real laughter. He’d been looking down and fidgeting with the covers but now his head swung up and his eyebrows pulled into a frown. You calmed down a little and reached out to him, softly stroking his shoulder, “Billy... I’m not really laughing at you. Well, I suppose I am but only because I’m really surprised. That’s not how guys usually let girls know they’re interested! - kidnapping them and telling them that they will have sex with them.” Billy grunted, “Yeah, I realise that. It’s what I’m tryna tell you, sweetheart. I’m shit at this kinda stuff.”
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Sunday lunchtime, you met up with Karen who was gagging to know what had happened on Friday night. You dutifully recounted everything, even Billy’s metamorphosis into caveman as you left the hotel. Karen’s expression got more and more incredulous and as you drew to a close with his admission of being completely crap at all things relationship-related, she finally said, “Fuck! That’s unbelievable. So how did you leave things? You kick him to the curb?”
You took a sip of your G&T, and smiled back at her, “He wants me to teach him what a real relationship is all about.”
“And you’re prepared to take a chance on him and show him, are you?” You nodded, “Yeah I guess I am, Karen. I know it sounds crazy, but he wants to try. And I’d like to try. So we went from fake to genuine as of Friday night.”
She chuckled, shaking her head and sipping her drink before saying, “Well, you’re a glutton for punishment, I’ll say that for you. And I wish you the best of luck trying to tame that bad boy.” She lifted her glass and you clinked yours against hers, “Thanks, Karen. I’m just gonna take it one day at a time. If it doesn’t work out...” you shrugged, “...at least I gave it a shot.” She put her hand over yours, “Do you think he’ll keep it in his pants? He’s used to putting it about all over town,” squeezing your hand, “...sorry to have to say that honey, but it’s true.” You nodded, “Yeah I know, and all I can say is he’s promised he won’t be doing that from now on. But if I get even a whiff of another woman’s perfume off him, I will be kicking him to the curb faster than he can say ‘it’s not what you think, sweetheart’, believe me! And I’ve told him that too, in no uncertain terms.” She nodded, “Well, you’ve given him fair warning so if he fucks up, that’s definitely on him.”
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Frank threw his head back, giving a great belly laugh which went on for a lot longer than Billy Russo thought it should do. After a few moments, Frank’s face had gone beet red and tears were squeezing out of the corners of his eyes. Billy folded his arms across his chest, sitting back in the diner booth and scowling at Frank, “Okay, okay, Frankie - enough already,” he grumbled as Frank continued to laugh. Eventually Frank calmed down enough to speak, “Russo! I don’t believe it, I really don’t. Does that girl know what she’s letting herself in for?! She must be missing a few rounds out of her ammo clip.” Billy pulled a face, “Look... I like her, okay? She’s gonna teach me what a proper relationship’s like. She’s willin’ to give me a chance, so cut me some slack over here, will ya?” Frank took a big pull at his beer, “Oh Russo, how the fuck ya gonna keep it in your pants?” (unknowingly parroting Karen’s very same comment to her friend). Billy shrugged, “Look...I will, I tell ya. I mean it, I only want her. The sex is....” he made a chef’s kiss hand gesture, “....and she doesn’t take any of my shit, either. I really like her, Frankie. I think I’m ready to...” “Settle down? Really, Bill - are you? Cos if you fuck this up, you’ve got Karen to deal with as well as your girl.”
Billy took a hit of his beer, “You think I don’t know that? And I’d get a ton of crap from you too, cos Karen’d be upset. You like her, dontcha?” Frank’s cheeks went a slight shade of pink, “Well, yeah. I guess I do.” Now it was Billy’s turn to laugh, “You guess you do? Frankie, you’re like a teenager with a major crush every time your phone rings! ‘Ooh, it’s Karen!’” he said, the last bit in a high-pitched voice. “I do not talk like that!” Frank growled at him, “And you better spend your energy learning how to treat a woman properly, rather than ripping the shit outta me, Russo!”
»»————————————-———- ⚜ ———————————-————-««
Your phone dinged and you picked it up, seeing a text notification from Billy on the screen. Turning your phone briefly towards Karen to show her this, you clicked on it and then smiled as you read it. Showing the message to her, she also smiled, “Wow, seems like he’s definitely trying!” You agreed, “I do believe he is!” Maybe this crazy relationship thing you and Billy had agreed to embark on did have a chance of working out after all. You definitely still had your misgivings - does a leopard (or panther) really change its spots? - but you were willing to give it a try as long as Billy stuck to his end of the bargain. No other women, no lying, spending a lot of quality time together... let’s just see how all that goes, you thought. Re-reading the text, it made you smile once more.
Billy’s text said simply, “I’m missing you, sweetheart. Come over to mine, I’ll cook you dinner.”
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(My photo edit)
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Tags: @blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry
(Using D&D’s taglist, if you’d prefer to be removed, just let me know!)
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I loved your recent post about Marty and his ADHD! It was soo spot on. And, I saw in the tags that you mentioned Alex Keaton and how you believe he’s not neurotypical either. Care to elaborate? Do you have any headcanons about neurodivergent™ Alex? I’d love to hear your thoughts! :)
Oh, hey, thank you! Marty having ADHD seems to be one of the most common headcanons in the fandom, so that post was a lot of fun to work on.
As far as Alex goes...yes, I will elaborate, BUT I'm putting it under a cut because ya girl is really going to E L A B O R A T E.
I've mentioned before that I think Alex's overall personality/demeanor comes from a variety of different places. Some parts of who he is are likely caused by all the pressure put on him to be a high achiever, due to being so academically gifted from a young age. Other parts are due to being overly coddled and spoiled by Elyse and Steven. Still, there's probably a part of Alex that genuinely enjoys being difficult and getting a rise out of people. Then, there's the obvious anxiety he struggles with, which even MJF has talked about in some interviews when discussing how he approached playing a guy like Alex.
"Giftedness" & anxiety are already included under the umbrella of neurodiversity but in Alex's case, I actually think there's even more to it than that. Yeah, Alex is a funny character whose actions/words are so often played for laughs. He can also be a really irksome character when he's dishing out the sarcasm and being selfish. But I also can't help but look at Alex and think, This guy is just so not NT and he is struggling, somebody Help Him. And since Alex P. Keaton is one of my favorite characters AND I love to analyze/ do deep dives AND the topic of neurodiversity is a particularly strong interest of mine... well, here you go....
Mans is autistic.
• Difficulty with social cues and "reading the room". Seriously, there are so many instances of everyone around him all being on the same page about something or dealing with something serious, and Alex walks in and just proceeds to miss every single cue people throw his way. Two scenes that pop into my head, in particular, are the Reflective Pajamas one and the Clam Puff one, lol.
• He frequently struggles with putting himself in other people's shoes: Alex is certainly shown to be a compassionate person. He can recognize when people are hurting and will do the right thing, but sometimes he needs some help to get there. It seems that a lot of the time, all he knows is how he feels or thinks about something, and it doesn't occur to him that another person could be experiencing it differently. Then, once Steven, Elyse, Ellen, etc, break the situation down for him and explicitly say things like, Hey, that person's feelings are hurt because... or Here is the exact reason this person is angry... Alex is finally able to connect the dots, which usually leads to him being like, I hadn't ever thought about that/ I didn't mean it. (Of course, there are also times where Alex is just purposely being a jerk, but I'm not focusing on those)
• Specific, intense interests: Politics & economics, obviously. It's made well-known that Alex has been completely fixated on these two areas since he was a toddler. He's prone to enthusiastic, overly detailed discourse on the topics and either doesn't care or can't pick up on when people are growing bored at listening to him.
• Also, can we talk about how it's established that Alex's favorite toy as a little kid was a box? Like, he carried it everywhere, played with it, slept with it, and was devastated when it fell apart. Idk, I know kids can be attached to random objects, but it's just interesting that Alex is noted as having been enamored with a box. I'm just picturing little Alex, ignoring all the toys he has in favor of just sitting and staring at a box, and his parents are like, Yeah, this is normal.
• Highly intelligent, bordering on genius/prodigy (He was doing long-division at like, 3 years old) but has difficulty connecting with peers & making friends: This is most prominently shown in "A, My Name is Alex," where we see glimpses of various events in his childhood. In the scene where Alex meets Greg, we learn that Alex spends recess inside, helping the teacher plan her lessons rather than going out to socialize with his classmates. He's bewildered at Greg's invitation to come play, meaning he likely spent the majority of his childhood on his own due to being considered an outcast by his peers and just generally relating more easily to adults. (He also mentions taking night classes at a local college at age SEVEN. So like. If the long-division story and night class thing are taken to be actual facts of Alex's childhood...we're looking at something similar to hyperlexia/hypernumeracy here. This kid must have been bored out his mind having to sit through elementary school if he was that advanced)
• Very literal at times/ misses sarcasm: Interestingly enough, APK is very fond of being sarcastic but doesn't do so well when he's on the receiving end of it. Someone will make a joke or spin the sarcasm towards him for once, and he'll either just stare blankly like ???? or smile/thank them and they're like, Yeah, that wasn't a compliment, or, I was kidding.
• Black and white/ inflexible thinking: This might be the biggest one. Alex is super concerned with rules and ensuring that everyone is following them correctly. There's right and there's wrong, with no gray areas or middle ground as far as he's concerned. My favorite instance of this is in the episode where the family goes to visit Steven's mother and Rob, Alex's uncle, is telling a story of how Steven got in trouble as a kid for refusing to put his name in the upper right corner of his test papers. Everyone around the table laughs...except for Alex, who is deeply troubled by the information.
Just...Steven's delivery. The way he pauses and stares at Alex before replying with a ridiculous punishment that obviously didn't happen, but Alex shows no signs of being aware of or amused at the joke and is just glad his father faced the consequences of his actions. It's great, and a prime example of Alex's preoccupation with "the rules."
Another good example (& one that crosses into the empathy category as well) is "Big Brother is Watching", where Alex exposes a cheating scandal at school (that involves Mallory) and then can't wrap his mind around why everyone is angry at him when he gets the students who were involved suspended. He spends half the episode saying things like, But cheating is wrong. It's wrong and I told the truth about it. I did what's right. You (Steven) told me to always tell the truth, which I did. WHY PEOPLE ANGRY???
And so Steven has to basically spell it out and be like, You got those students suspended, Alex. They are upset with you because of this. They were exposed publically, which embarrassed them, and people tend to not like being embarrassed.
And Alex is like, Oh.
• Repetitive behavior/movements: Most often seen when Alex is distressed or scared, his mannerisms definitely stand out in many scenes. He paces, taps his foot/bounces his leg, rubs his hands together or over his lap, rocks back and forth, and avoids eye contact. I made a post about this a short while back because it really is interesting (and a testament to how well the character was played). There are moments where Alex is completely confident and "calm", and you can see that reflected in the way he carries himself. But whenever he's upset or anxious, you'll start to notice a variety of the things listed above.
So. Yeah. All these things considered...I headcanon Alex as possibly being autistic?? Which is not a take I've ever seen anyone else mention (and I seriously doubt anyone working on the show had this angle in mind at all) but watching through the series, my radar just goes off when it comes to APK.
I have no idea how this will be received. (If anyone even reads it because wow, this got away from me).
Thanks for the ask. As you may be able to tell, I enjoyed being able to spew out my thoughts.
#family ties#alex p keaton#apk#asks#do you see why it takes me so long to answer asks sometimes?#I'm out here writing an essay#I guess it's good that so few people I actually know watch/are fans of FT#because they would not have the option to keep scrolling and ignore me in situations like this#BUT! I was recently watching FT with someone who is new to the show#and I had said nothing about anything relating to this post or my thoughts here#after enough eps that they were able to get the full picture of Alex#they said ''You know...Alex could be autistic''#and I was like !!!!!!!! YOU SEE IT TOO
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Croatia brings no men in a hamster wheel to Rotterdam 2021
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Now could this be the teddy bear uprising invasion Muse has warned us about 12 years ago?
And LITERALLY, these review series make me feel like Croatia is openly taunting me - I watch the days go, I’m losing track of time, and when another day comes, I’m screaming “oh no I forgot to publish a review sooner than wanted!!”. Guess I’m for one glad there’s a time related song this year, hum?
ARTIST & ENTRY INFO
Repping the Adriatic coast nation that got all the sea instead of Bosnia & Herzegovina is some 22 year old Albina Grčić, who first popped up on X Factor Adria back when that was a thing, and got lumped into a girlgroup in later stages, but to that she said “hvala ne” and moved on with her life, getting eliminated just like that. Queen <3 She did get her second chance to compete as a soloist and make a more prominent mark on her career when she ended up on The Voice in Croatia. She did well, placing third overall in the season, but somehow, during the duel stage, her coach initially favoured her fellow Dora 2021 contestant Filip Rudan:
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Her Voice success landed her a record deal with the Croatian division of Universal Music, she released a debut single, sometime later ended up on Dora, and here she is now, on Eurovision.
“Tick-Tock” is the song, a standard upbeat pop song, and one of the ones that talks about a girl leaving a terrible relationship and being so well over it that she “found [her]self and [she’s] finally free”, and the “tick-tock” here is used to represent the time passing by, not the sound of her heart, unlike a fellow ESC entry of a similar title. The tune (or its lyrics only) is co-authored by some dude you might’ve heard of from France’s 2018 preselection Destination Eurovision, and that is Max Cinnamon - some half-English guy with a half English song about love (”Ailleurs”) that did moderately averagely in the final... I don’t even know if his influence shows, I just love how 2021 has sort of become revenge of the NF flops but they’re writing other entries instead (Suzi P, “Adrenalina”).
REVIEW
I often don’t really fully vibe with female bops in Eurovision as much as I want to, like, for the most part they’re overhyped, and I let the “yass queeeeen” audience gorge on the everything their favourite bops give them. But this year there are plenty of great ones to choose from, as I think that it’s safe to say that most, if not all, are tucked in somewhere inside my top 20, top 25 at the very minimum. Croatia managed to even do the impossible and land into my top 10.
Why?
Well, the answer is that the song is just so damn good.
I mean, what’s NOT to like about it? It’s a catchy and upbeat song that incorporates xylophones (or whatever is it that sounds like them), guitars and synths; has a good bassline in the chorus; and it’s just... a very good composition overall, like, all the instruments in it are just in their right place and uplift the song massively. I also like Albina’s performance on it, both live and studio, it clearly shows that she’s a very good singer (also shown on her cover of the scandalous Oscar award snubbery “Husavik”). Sounds like a song a common pop loving Eurofan could gear themselves towards.
Besides, it also has possibly my favourite pre-chorus section of the 2021 year? Oh wait, there’s also Switzerland, scratch that. “Tick-Tock” has one of my favourite pre-chorus sections of 2021. It builds up so well instrumentally and the way Albina sings it is even better. I obviously like to believe Albina heard those voices from far away that helped her to escape, has found herself, and she’s finally free from her “partner’s” bad lovin’ and restraint. Yas queen go be free you didn’t deserve his tomfoolery anyway! 👏
(Also I admire a section that’s not quite the pre-chorus but is still before the 1st chorus, the one that goes “If you pull me down then I'll come around” - literally just a lot of the parts of the song are full of nice vocal performance and I don’t regret ranking this in my top 10 not a second.)
If it has any drawbacks, it’s just that it gets a tad too repetitive after the halfway mark... like, the pre-chorus before the second chorus is the one to be repeated once again, and no new verse, nothing - but it does launch itself into something extraordinary, and that is a chorus in Croatian, which I assume she would perform in Eurovision because there’s no Eurovision version on the song promo bundle, I suppose. Comparatively the Croatian chorus is not as complex in lyrics as the English language one, and flows slightly differently too. But the song still has a long chorus by the end, and song with too many choruses is never a good sign for those that look for a song that’s constructed well, but I guess it’s a good factor for those that value the song’s catchiness. I guess that’s what one of the two Eurovision 2005 hosts valued the most when writing the Ukrainian 2006 entry “Show Me Your Love”, which if you ask me, is straight up 75% chorus, lol.
So yeah my verdict is that almost everything about this song, I like. I’m just a little devastated that in a usually very easily gorged on category of female bops, this just tends to lag behind in love, like a fellow song I really like this year, Israel. Instead people tend to prioritize Cyprus (which I get because they’ve established themselves as a girlbanger nation since Fuego swept Eurovision) and... probably even Azerbaijan? (which I might also get because Eurovision rarely has this thing called an ethnobop anymore, and it has more ethno than “Cleopatra” did, but still unnecessarily underwhelming lol.) Well then, in a year of female bangers, I would just like Croatia to not be swept under the rug come semis I guess. Yeah “Tick-Tock” may not sound like it brings something totally never seen before in a Eurovision environment (foreign language lyrics, themes about a break up, hell even her dancers looked like they were wearing the same hats as Tamta’s dancers), but you got to have a lot in you to sell a worn out idea to the new heights, and Albina does exactly that in my eyes.
Approval factor: Yeah! There is a lot of it in here for me.
Follow-up factor: A great follow-up, not so great in regards to panini but musically it’s just going up and up from what we had in the past few years. I’ve actually not minded “The Dream” for the most part but I knew it was a chanceless plodding ballad and Roko harboured heaps of wasted potential working with Jacques Houdek and having wings as part of his performance, uff. *_* And then there’s “Divlji vjetre” which I also like a lot - a much better male ballad winner choice! If the Dora re-up winners keep being decent imo just like this, I have a feeling I will follow it a lot more often than I did just this one time this year. I am just saying that panini-wise, it was a sucky move from HRT for not allowing their last year’s winner promote his new song with Tijana (from Serbia 2017) on the Dora night, so we sadly only heard a pre-recorded opening version of “Divlji vjetre” to start off with :( Otherwise I think it’s not Dora’s fault in itself that Damir himself chose not to even submit an entry this year because he hadn’t found a good one - much like with Diodato for Sanremo (he was NOT rejected, if you think he still was, shush). But aside that, musically, it just keeps going up for me. Well done Croatia, for you’ve used to be a Eurovision country I don’t necessarily care about, that you brought two pretty damn good entries in a row.
Qualification factor: I can absolutely trust in Albina bringing in a little bit of her charisma and well-likedness, and on top of that, a great vocal performance, in Rotterdam. Don’t ask me why, I just do. She doesn’t really perform her song live on pre-parties as much as I’d like to hope she would, but you heard girlie on the national selection, she didn’t win for nothing. Yeah yeah there might as well be female uptempo songs hungrier for the last spot, but I’d like to think Albina is one of the ones ready to devour than to be devoured. Go girl! Take us all dancing!
NF CORNER
To be honest with you, “Tick-Tock” winning Dora caught me by surprise. Ever since its re-up, the last two editions were kind of won by male ballads, and maaaaybe the dancey females were doing moderately well enough for themselves, but not overall? But look, juries were very keen on Albina, probably because she can SANG and she creates one hell of a fancy presence on her performance.
And somehow she ended up snatching a win out of the hands of 5G conspiracy theorist 2016 representative Nina Kraljić, who was at first too drunk to care, but too unexpectedly sober to yell all over the soc. media how she was robbed and how the contest was rigged against her with her being on first and all that. Which is a shame that she is one of THOSE people, because her NF entry “Rijeka” is kinda nice? We did have the Balkan-esque ballads coming from Croatia in recent memory, but we haven’t had a truly proudly folksy one at that from Croatia for a long while, if not ever. Nina could’ve very well brought that to Rotterdam (and another mismatched wardrobe choice oops). But instead she was the one screaming “oh no, oh no, oh no”.
Actually I regarded Nina as one of my faves pre-show, and Albina was on her way, though she didn’t really cement the personal fav status until after all performances, thus making Nina and Albina switch spots for me. But truly, the one song that was my top favourite, iiiiiiiiiiis
youtube
GIMME AN OCEAN!
OF LOVE!
2021 made me realize that damn, maybe anything that’s funky is my favourite music genre afterall. Up until then I vibed with entries like “Tonight Again” and “What’s the Pressure?” that had this sort of energetic flair and very rhythmic kinda sound to it, but 2021 just simply cemented it to me that my music world has probably been about nice and smooth and funky all along. I owe so much gratitude to ToMa first and foremost along the lines of more to have come in this year’s lineups - I just can’t not want to dance to “Ocean of Love”, and ToMa is quite alright at selling it live as well. There are small gripes with some instrument usages but that doesn’t detract from the fact that I love love LOVE funky guitar tunes.
Aside from that, I can give shout outs to Beta Sudar, whose song not only was underrated, but also had an underrated meme format throughout its performance:
My other props go to Bernarda, who not only competed in a national selection singing a song about seeing “Colors” while blind (and ironically there was a song called “Blind” in that same NF sung by a well-seeing guy!!), but also for finally putting this every country’s reject to rest. Seriously. That particular song was passed on to everyone in need of a competitive Eurovision bop, from Poli Genova to Helena Paparizou as of recently. Oh well, at least the song died a honourable death - well performed slice of good typical Eurovision pop (maybe even overperformed a little towards the end), that got a good rank with the regional juries, but somewhat murdered in televote, fellow Boris Milanov composition “Chameleon” style.
This one Mia Negovetić chick was promising too! Her song was written by the Debs and you might be tired of them trying to continue infiltrating Eurovision at this point, but a lot of their Eurovision songs are usually something I enjoy, “She’s Like a Dream” is no exception. Nothing but 3 minutes of pastel-dressed Croatian Ariana Grande doing what she does best <3
Oh and also some dudes tried to play chess on stage too I guess. But their song is not worth looking into, because one of the acts on it is apparently also a conspiracist, and maybe because oft this their entry is aptly titled “Sing, for the freedom has arrived!” lol I wonder what exactly is the kind of freedom you’re thinking of my guy
Was this the “better mood game” Laura was warning everyone about? Beats me
NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)
• It’s still hilarious to me as to how one of the acts this year, Brigita Vuco, was planning to bring in backing dancers, only for them to show a fake COVID test or something and outright BARRED from coming with her on stage. <3 Whatever she intended to do with them dancers, I have absolutely no idea, but at least she committed to her song being about drunken nights visually by having all these blurry shots
• Nina Kraljić’s greenroom shenanigans, from the “1-2-3, 1-2-3, drink” to numb the sadness over some results (and the 8 she got from the region Rijeka for the song “Rijeka” lmao), to whatever she saw on the phone that made her smile or go neutral
• Greenroom reactions in general. I swear, this year had cameramen in every single corner everywhere just to make sure something covers up for a human audience instead of severals of Zoom screens permitted to act as an audience. Random people in greenrooms were doing some sort of emotions after random acts, and also randomly they ended up pointing a camera towards an act that lost, but the act didn’t treat losing as if it were such a big deal <3
• All the other memes the Croatian Twitter might’ve noticed me for:
seriously Bernarda was locked in a bluelight mathematical dice contraption. how fucking cool is that
ANY LAST WORDS?
I just fucking hope that Albina shatters any doubts that people have had about her song come rehearsals, and somehow Croatia AND Israel slip through, because never too many female bangers I appreciate in the final, if they all are the bangers I appreciate, lol.
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Try Audio Books for Book Bingo!
Thanks to the recent Seattle Times article with the reminder that listening to an audio book constitutes reading a book for the purposes of Book Bingo, I was able to use some of my recent audio book “reads” to fill in a few Book Bingo squares!
For me, audio books have been a fun way to squeeze in a few more titles per month. I listen when I work out, on my way to and from work, when I’m knitting, and, when I’m really into an audio book, on my lunch breaks. I especially like listening to YA (bonus points if they have dual narrators, so fun!), romance, and some nonfiction, which is often narrated by the author, as you’ll see below. Every so often I’ll add in a literary fiction, like Maggie O’Farrell’s Hamnet. The pleasure of truly excellent prose spoken aloud adds a depth to my experience of the story. I can’t listen to an audiobook as fast as I can read a book, so it gives me more time to think about the characters, what is happening in the plot and speculate about what might happen next. When I listened to The Dutch House (read by Tom Hanks) I was continually surprised by the twists of the plot. When I listened to Gold Diggers, I was able to step away long enough to remind myself these were fictional characters, because I thought they were making so many bad choices!
Island Books partners with Libro.fm, a local independent audio book platform. Readers who want to support Island Books and get downloadable audio books can purchase a monthly subscription, or buy audio books a la carte, while designating their chosen independent bookstore. Most of our staff uses the Libro.fm app, and whenever I personally mention in a recommendation card or in a blog that I listened to the audio book, it has been exclusively using Libro.fm.
Here are my recent audio book “reads” that are helping me fill in my Book Bingo!
The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green
I’ve read several of John Green’s YA titles, (The Fault in our Stars, Looking for Alaska, and Turtles all the Way Down) and heard he had a podcast, but never listened to it. So when I saw he had a book of essays coming out, and that he was reading the audiobook, I thought it would be a nice change of pace from all the YA rom-coms I’d been devouring. There’s something lovely about hearing an author read their personal essays aloud, knowing that they are acutely aware of the intent they are trying to convey to their reader/listener. Having no preconceptions, I found this a delightful ramble through John Green’s thoughts about things as varied as the Indy 500, Kentucky Bluegrass (which I initially thought was the music genre and was confused as to all this discussion of lawn care), and Air-Conditioning. Green gives a concise deep dive into each subject, but always circles back to his own, quite moving, personal experience. The through line in each, either explicitly or not, is the disruption of the Covid pandemic, and he imbeds in each essay a snapshot of whatever uncertainty we were all contending with at that particular time. I used The Anthropocene Reviewed for my “Poetry or Essays” square.
One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston
I know this has already been one of the big books of the summer, especially among the late teens and early twenties readers. I had it in my to listen queue when I found it listed on the Seattle Public Library’s “Peak Picks” page - perfect way to fill in that square! I listened to the bulk of it on a recent road trip and, for me, the audio book was the perfect way to submerge myself in the story without overthinking the moments that slightly strained my credulity. August has recently moved to New York City as a way to hopefully finish college, extract herself from her mother’s obsession with a particular cold case, and be alone without feeling lonely. She stumbles into an apartment situation with a handful of quirky characters, a job as a waitress at a pancake restaurant, and a commute on the Q train to school. Which is where she meets Jane. August has a crush at first sight, especially after Jane rescues August with a scarf to cover her coffee ruined shirt. But August starts to realize there’s something different about Jane - she listens to cassettes on a Walkman, she’s always wearing the same outfit, and she’s always, always on the Q train whenever August gets on. This is certainly a romance, and there’s plenty of steamy moments, but the relationships between August and her roommates moved me the most as they slowly break down her protective shell. August struggles to let herself love others, and to let herself be loved, so listening to her gradual change was tender and sweet. I loved seeing her find her people, a place where she felt like she belonged, and realize how full and good her life could be. One Last Stop would also work for Romance, QTBIPOC and Coming of Age Book Bingo squares.
The View Was Exhausting by Mikaella Clements and Onjuli Datta
This one I didn’t start for any particular Book Bingo square, but The View Was Exhausting would work for Romance, Beach Read, QTBIPOC, or Recommended by a Local Bookseller (me!). All I knew going in was it was a romance with the fake dating trope and set in the upper echelons of Hollywood society. I figured it would be a fun escapist look behind the scenes of a lifestyle a million miles away from my own. Whitman “Win” Tagore is an A-list British Indian actress chasing after a coveted role in a Hemingway film adaptation when scandal erupts in her personal life. She retreats to Saint-Tropez to do damage control by calling in her on again off again “boyfriend”, society darling/male model Leo Milanowski. The world thinks that Win and Leo have a love story for the ages, but since the moment they met at age 20, it’s been about public image - fake dating on a global stage. First I was captured by narrator, Tania Rodrigues, and her precise English accent that she molds to fit every character. Her voice reading Mikaella Clements and Onjuli Datta’s words made me feel like I was in each exotic location. Second, the whole concept raised really interesting questions about the double standard for men and women in the film industry, and especially for women of color. Win feels like she has to faultlessly maintain her image in order to have the career she wants, and so as not to make it harder for any other British Indian actresses coming up behind her. She goes to great lengths, with her loyal publicist, to craft the image she thinks the public wants, the producers and directors want, and is exhausted by the effort. I found myself wondering if Win could just refuse to play the game? This is an audio book I raced through because I couldn’t wait to see what would happen!
I hope everyone is finding something fun to read or listen to this summer. If you want to sign up for a Libro.fm membership, go to the sidebar on our website, islandbooks.com and click on the link. Time for me to pick my next listen!
— Lori
#island books#lori robinson#BookBingoNW2021#Librofm#audiobooks#summer reading#john green#the anthropocene reviewed#casey mcquiston#one last stop#mikaella clements#onjuli datta#the view was exhausting
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Welllp These Are Books: the January 2021 Edition
Tumblr’s gif search leaves a lot to be desired, so there’s no actual gif of her slamming the book shut, which is—y’know, disappointing. Still, the continued ability of the public library system to send books to my Kindle ensures that I continue to read every romantic comedy and fantasy story I can find. Of which I have plenty of thoughts and opinions. But, like, what’s the point of having thoughts and opinions if you’re not putting them on the internet? There isn’t one, obviously. Books and links and feelings and more ridiculous headlines all under the cut.
BEST BOOK AWARD WINNER OF A VERY WEIRD JANUARY THAT HELPED DISTRACT FROM A VERY WEIRD JANUARY
The Wrath & the Dawn by Renee Ahdieh
Every dawn brings horror to a different family in a land ruled by a killer. Khalid, the eighteen-year-old Caliph of Khorasan, takes a new bride each night only to have her executed at sunrise. So it is a suspicious surprise when sixteen-year-old Shahrzad volunteers to marry Khalid. But she does so with a clever plan to stay alive and exact revenge on the Caliph for the murder of her best friend and countless other girls. Shazi’s wit and will, indeed, get her through to the dawn that no others have seen, but with a catch . . . she’s falling in love with the very boy who killed her dearest friend.
She discovers that the murderous boy-king is not all that he seems and neither are the deaths of so many girls. Shazi is determined to uncover the reason for the murders and to break the cycle once and for all.
This was so good?!?! I finished the first book and them immediately started the sequel, like no break whatsoever?!! I wish they weren’t teenagers?!! But seriously I wish they hadn’t been teenagers. Like, I get it. It’s YA. That probably sells better, something about markets that I don’t understand. I don’t care. It was weird that they were teenagers. Also, some of the plot points just kind of...happened? And I’m not entirely sure they were ever resolved. (Although there are a bunch of short stories, so. Maybe I just haven’t gotten there yet.) Despite that, the writing was gorgeous, I remain as prone to swooning over sad boys patent pending as I was when I was sixteen and Shahrzad was a fantastic heroine. Nine out of ten (would have been ten if they weren’t teenagers) and have already put holds on other books Ahdieh has written.
OBLIGATORY RAGE-INDUCING ROM-COM
Head Over Heads by Hannah Orenstein
The past seven years have been hard on Avery Abrams: After training her entire life to make the Olympic gymnastics team, a disastrous performance ended her athletic career for good. Her best friend and teammate, Jasmine, went on to become an Olympic champion, then committed the ultimate betrayal by marrying their emotionally abusive coach, Dimitri.
Now, reeling from a breakup with her football star boyfriend, Avery returns to her Massachusetts hometown, where new coach Ryan asks her to help him train a promising young gymnast with Olympic aspirations. Despite her misgivings and worries about the memories it will evoke, Avery agrees. Back in the gym, she's surprised to find sparks flying with Ryan. But when a shocking scandal in the gymnastics world breaks, it has shattering effects not only for the sport but also for Avery and her old friend Jasmine.
I stopped reading it. Honestly. I got, like, 46% of the way through, kept complaining to Justin about how goddamn annoying Avery was and how no one had any personality and I wanted them all to fall off the beam and he was like—stop reading it, then? And I was like—I can do that? And then I did! Also, I understand it needed conflict, but the “shocking scandal” in the description is a sexual assault that was not only NOT my cup of tea, but felt like a massive attempt to be topical by using what happened at Michigan State without actually saying it was about Michigan state.
PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW SPORTS WRITE SPORTS AND DO IT OK
Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes
In a sleepy seaside town in Maine, recently widowed Eveleth “Evvie” Drake rarely leaves her large, painfully empty house nearly a year after her husband’s death in a car crash. Everyone in town, even her best friend, Andy, thinks grief keeps her locked inside, and Evvie doesn’t correct them.
Meanwhile, in New York City, Dean Tenney, former Major League pitcher and Andy’s childhood best friend, is wrestling with what miserable athletes living out their worst nightmares call the “yips”: he can’t throw straight anymore, and, even worse, he can’t figure out why. As the media storm heats up, an invitation from Andy to stay in Maine seems like the perfect chance to hit the reset button on Dean’s future.
When he moves into an apartment at the back of Evvie’s house, the two make a deal: Dean won’t ask about Evvie’s late husband, and Evvie won’t ask about Dean’s baseball career. Rules, though, have a funny way of being broken—and what starts as an unexpected friendship soon turns into something more. To move forward, Evvie and Dean will have to reckon with their pasts—the friendships they’ve damaged, the secrets they’ve kept—but in life, as in baseball, there’s always a chance—up until the last out.
I am admittedly a sports snob. Writing about sports is my thing and I’m super particular about reading about it. But this sounded good and for the most part it was good. Emotional, too. Like, “jeepers, that was intense” kind of emotional. But also some of the things Dean talked about were just...not how sports work and that drives me nuts. Also another story that was, as mentioned, super emotional only to get tied up in this nice little bow. Which, cool, but also...not? Just felt rushed at the end.
IN WHICH SHIPPING IS QUESTIONED AND I JUST LIKE BEN BARNES
Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo
Soldier. Summoner. Saint. Orphaned and expendable, Alina Starkov is a soldier who knows she may not survive her first trek across the Shadow Fold—a swath of unnatural darkness crawling with monsters. But when her regiment is attacked, Alina unleashes dormant magic not even she knew she possessed.
Now Alina will enter a lavish world of royalty and intrigue as she trains with the Grisha, her country's magical military elite—and falls under the spell of their notorious leader, the Darkling. He believes Alina can summon a force capable of destroying the Shadow Fold and reuniting their war-ravaged country, but only if she can master her untamed gift.As the threat to the kingdom mounts and Alina unlocks the secrets of her past, she will make a dangerous discovery that could threaten all she loves and the very future of a nation.
Welcome to Ravka . . . a world of science and superstition where nothing is what it seems.
I wanted to like this so much. So, so much. And sometimes I did. Sometimes I did not. At all. World building is my weakness and this has got it in spades, but the characters are kind of—boring? I couldn’t really bring myself to care about Alina and I wanted to kick Mal in the shins sometimes. The only interesting one was The Darkling who’s like the embodiment of all evil and I am not here to ship-shame anyone, but it’s kinda weird to ship him and Alina. I pictured Ben Barnes the entire time. I’m still excited for the show. I’ll read the sequel at some point, probably.
BEING A JERK IS NOT ROMANCE, YOU’RE JUST A JERK
Would Like to Meet by Rachel Winters
It's Evie Summers's job to find out. Because if she can't convince her film agency's biggest client, Ezra Chester, to write the romantic-comedy screenplay he owes producers, her career will be over. The catch? Arrogant Ezra thinks rom-coms are unrealistic—and he'll only put pen to paper if Evie proves to him that it's possible to meet a man in real life the way it happens on the big screen.
Cynical Evie might not believe in happily ever after, but she'll do what it takes to save the job that's been her lifeline . . . even if it means reenacting iconic rom-com scenes in public. Spilling orange juice on a cute stranger? No problem. Leaving her number in books all over London to see who calls? Done. With a little help from her well-meaning friends and the adorable father-daughter duo who keep witnessing her humiliations, Evie is determined to show Ezra she can meet a man the way Sally met Harry. But can a workaholic who's given up on love find a meet-cute of her very own?
I love cliches. Love ‘em. Want to read about ‘em, want to write about ‘em. Here for happily ever after. Much less here for the overused and antiquated cliche of dude doesn’t believe in love like girl does, dude ridicules girl’s belief, dude was secretly in love with her the whole time. It’s super dumb. And we should stop writing it. Also really done with rom com girl can’t figure out her life! she’s overworked! she doesn’t have time for her friends! Super duper dumb. I don’t know guys, this book happened.
FAST-PACED ROMANCE ISN’T AS WEIRD WHEN IT’S WELL WRITTEN AND THERE’S A MOOSE INVOLVED
The Tourist Attraction by Sarah Morgenthaler
He had a strict "no tourists" policy...until she broke all of his rules. When Graham Barnett named his diner The Tourist Trap, he meant it as a joke. Now he's stuck slinging reindeer dogs to an endless parade of resort visitors who couldn't interest him less. Not even the sweet, enthusiastic tourist in the corner who blushes every time he looks her way...
Two weeks in Alaska isn't just the top item on Zoey Caldwell's bucket list. It's the whole bucket. One look at the mountain town of Moose Springs and she's smitten. But when an act of kindness brings Zoey into Graham's world, she may just find there's more to the grumpy local than meets the eye...and more to love in Moose Springs than just the Alaskan wilderness.
This story of Alaska marries together all the things you didn't realize you needed: a whirlwind vacation, a friendly moose, a grumpy diner owner, a quirky tourist, plenty of restaurant humor, and a happy ending that'll take you away from it all.
I’m not one for slow burn, but I also have a hard time believing romances that happen in, like, a blink. Not the case here! It was so goddamn cute! There was a moose! Graham kept calling Zoey darlin’ and it made my heart try to explode in my chest! Stars Hollow-levels of small town with lots of side characters and a good plot and a restaurant that everyone always went to! You guys know I’m trash for everyone always going to hang out in the same restaurant! I’m reading the sequel now, so that’s how much I enjoyed it.
AMAZON BOOKS THAT CONTINUE TO BE WAY BETTER THAN THEY SHOULD BE
Elodie of the Sea by Shari L. Tapscott (part of the Eldentimber Series)
Eight years have passed since the marriage tournament that decided the fate of Princess Pippa of Lauramore and strengthened alliances between the kingdoms of Elden. The competitors have moved on with their lives. Some have found adventure; some have found love.
Prince Bran of Triblue, however, has put his life on hold, preparing for his father's crown.
Two days before Bran's winter coronation, just when the prince cannot afford distractions, a girl washes onto the Triblue shore. She has no memory of her past life, no clue who she is or where she belongs—nothing but a ring on her finger and a peculiar marking on her cheek.
And the newly crowned king has more than a mysterious girl to worry about. The sea has become unpredictable. Storms claim ships in the dead of night, and sailors return with horrifying stories of monsters from the deep. It soon becomes clear the girl and the bizarre events are connected.
The girl came from the sea... and the sea wants her back.
But Bran isn't willing to give her or his kingdom up without a fight, even if it means he must request help from every corner of Elden.
Listen, sometimes you have to read about a mermaid who lost her memory and the soon-to-be-king who’s, like, immediately in love with her. I mentioned Tapscott’s books in the 2020 post and the sentiment remains the same. You ever read a book that reads like fic? Lots of banter, some romance, steady pacing. That’s what her books are like. There are five in the Eldentimber series, all about a different princess in a different kingdom, but they all connect so characters pop up again and again and then they kiss. It’s real good.
#book reviews#the wrath and the dawn#laura reads books#i'm making my way through some of the recs you guys sent last time around too#but don't hesitate to send more#seriously i am down to read anything#welllp these are books
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An Irritated Review of an Aggressively Bad Book
As a child of the 90s, I cut my teeth on R.L. Stine’s books. Goosebumps in elementary school, graduating up to Fear Street -- with its guts and gore! -- by my tweens. But the time came when I had voraciously consumed all of the R.L. Stine at the library, and I hungered for more books in the same vein.
Which led me to Christopher Pike.
Christopher Pike was another of the “Point Horror” series writers popular through the 80s, and they were an obvious thing to recommend to a budding young horror fan (especially as his books tended to be popular with young girls, thanks to the romantic subplots they often featured). But I just never really enjoyed them. I read a handful, shrugged it off, and eventually moved on to reading Stephen King and other adult authors instead.
Which brings us to this motherfucker.
@comicreliefmorlock sent me a small stack of vintage YA horror titles, because reading ridiculous cheesy teen thrillers sounded like good nostalgic fun.
But this book isn’t the fun kind of cheesy. It’s the kind of cheesy that drives me to start blogging in irritation at 12:57 am. Because this book isn’t just bad, it is aggressively bad, and it says a lot about 1984 and the state of horror fiction and YA fiction and publishing in general that this fucking book launched Christopher Pike’s career.
So let’s talk about this sumbitch below the cut.
The story is about a group of teens who meet up for a ski weekend. The girls were all very close when they were younger, but drifted apart after an accident that left one friend badly burned and her little sister dead. The burned-friend is the one whose family owns this very fancy house and so graciously invited everyone to come hang out.
Our characters don’t really get much in the way of actual characterization, but here’s the cast:
Nell, who has some facial scarring and whose family is apparently loaded
Nicole, the dead little sister
Lara, the main character (ostensibly)
Dana, who likes to eat and crack jokes (funny fat friend solidarity fist bump)
Rachael, the gorgeous blonde beauty rival of Lara
Mindy, who chews gum
Celeste, a shy girl with back problems who they’ve befriended somewhat recently
They arrive and hand over their keys to a park ranger to valet-park their car while marveling at how they don’t really know if he was a real park ranger, because I always give my keys to strangers when visiting an isolated location. Celeste asks some innocent questions about why the group hasn’t hung out recently, and the group neglects to mention the dead sister, but the reader figures it out.
Don’t worry, we’ll hear all about that in a moment. But first there’s a small, stupid mystery about a disappearing snowman, that melted really fast like it was burned and Lara will continue to fixate on this for the rest of the book.
They spend a little time getting settled in before hitting the slopes. Celeste and Nell hang behind despite being the two people at this gathering who presumably don’t know each other, but they hit it off great right away so good for them.
At the ski lodge, they run into a pair of boys that Rachael and Mindy know -- Percy and Cal. Lara falls into an instant and irritating infatuation with Percy for some reason, deepening that rivalry with Rachael. Cal creeps on Dana, trying to grope her when they get a minute alone, but Mindy of course gets jealous of Dana for horning on on her man because of course she does.
Note: The book was written by a man in 1985.
Anyway, at the ski slopes, Dana disappears, and everyone kind of assumes she’s just trying to avoid Cal even when they find one of her skis sitting in the middle of a very mysterious patch of snow that seems to have some ash and ice in it (just like the snowman! gasp!) but it’s probably fine!
Somewhere in here we get an entire chapter told in italics to provide helpful background information about how Nicole died -- which involved a bunch of 6th graders at a sleepover getting drunk from stolen brandy in the liquor cabinet, deciding to hold a seance, knocking over a candle, catching Nicole on fire, and then Lara trying to put her out with the brandy (because it’s wet!) and that of course creates a Nicole-Flambe situation. Nicole is whisked away to the hospital and dies there and Lara is wracked with guilt and so forth and so on.
And scene. Back to the present, where Dana is still missing, they can’t find the ranger who has their car keys, there’s a storm bearing down on them, but of course the most important thing is whether Percy likes Lara better than he likes Rachael. They invite the boys to come over that night.
Dana’s not back at the house, so Lara calls the lodge to ask for them to have her call if she shows up, but otherwise big shrugs about the friend’s disappearance and presumably being lost in the middle of a storm. Celeste is scandalized that they were going to eat cold cuts at a party and sets to dressing and roasting two whole chickens and a bunch of side dishes, which is of course an extremely normal thing for a teenager to do at a party.
The boys show up, and Lara feels kind of bad about not really caring where Dana is, except not guilty enough to do anything about it. Dana, you’re too good for these people, get better friends.
Anyway, they eat and do some drinking then play charades, which Celeste and Nell are eerily good at (hmmmm) and then Cal creeps on Celeste which starts a whole argument culminating in Percy punching him in the face, Cal stumbling backward, and Mindy’s arm catching fire because Nell had bitchily thrown alcohol at her earlier. They throw out the boys and start doing some first aid on Mindy, including dosing her on some codeine that they conveniently have lying around.
Percy’s gotta go, so Lara walks him out in the woods, refusing anybody else’s offer to come with her so she doesn’t get lost because she wants to make a move on him. There’s some painful flirting, some kissing, some talks about pyrokinesis and the mysterious Dana disappearance (and the snowman! that damned snowman!) and also Percy has a flare gun in his pocket for some reason.
Gag. Ugh. But ok, fine, Percy gives her the flare gun, presumably because he’s letting her walk back through the woods alone in a blizzard. She scoops up some of the ice from Dana’s disappearance-spot to bring home for evidence and then goes to bed. When she awakens, the ice has melted and she can see bones! and ash! Ahhhh!
This causes her to panic, so she runs out of the house at 3am into the woods and then, idk, freezes or something. Cal is there for some reason? She conveniently blacks out and awakens to find herself tied up in Nell’s basement. But hey look, Dana’s here! And so is Rachael!
We helpfully learn that Dana’s been tied up in a closet this whole time. Also, SURPRISE! Celeste isn’t actually Celeste, she’s Nicole! (in case this wasn’t already painfully obvious from all of the foreshadowing). She didn’t die after all! She just assumed an entirely new identity! She was just pretending not to know who Nell is!
Never mind that Celeste has parents who we have literally talked to in this book (they briefly call to check on her and Lara speaks to them instead). Apparently Nicole’s family....gave her up for adoption? but she’s still really close to her sister? Or else Lara somehow doesn’t realize that Celeste’s parents are Nell’s parents? Literally no part of this is explained in a way that makes any sense at all.
But anyway, turns out this whole weekend was just an excuse to get everybody together so that Nell and Nicole/Celeste could get revenge by dousing them in kerosene and burning them alive. Like you do.
There’s a lot of waffling and trying to win over Nicole with the power of friendship, and then she changes her mind about the plan but Nell doesn’t, which leads to some dramatic scuffling and ultimately Lara shoots Nell with Chekhov’s flare gun, but it’s totally OK because her expression is “the most peaceful” Lara has ever seen so that’s cool, and then they manage to rescue Mindy before the house blows up.
From there, we’ve just got some loose ends to tie up. We’re rescued by the suspicious ranger from earlier who it turns out actually is a ranger, so that’s cool. How did he find them? Why, that strapping young man Cal tipped him off that they might be in trouble!
You heard it here first, folks. Cal, the guy whose characterization up to this point has been “gropes girls without consent” and “tells funny war stories about napalm” is actually the real hero here! What a find stand-up young gentleman that serial offender is.
Also, again, Dana, you are too good for these people, find new friends.
Anyway, the girls end up in the hospital, where they promise a vow of secrecy but also Lara and Nicole are totally going to be best friends now, no harsh feelings. Also Lara is totally going to hook up with Percy, because that was definitely the most important thing to come from this weekend and she’s definitely not in any way going to be traumatized about any of this.
The end.
distant gagging sounds
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Hehe back again!! Can I get hc for Kenshin, Ieyasu, and Mitsunari, being introduced to smartphones? lol let's say MC had those solar portable battery charger so her phone is still alive in Sengoku era (lmao things I come up with). I guess phone can only do so much without internet tho like playing music and taking photos, idk lol. TYSM I love your stuff!!
OH MY GOODNESS I WAS ABOUT TO DO A PROMPT JUST LIKE THIS! What a great coincidence holy smokes! Thank u \^u^/. This was fun to write!
Setup: Sasuke found a way to charge smartphones by generating power from acidic fruit and a magnetic/metal conductive device (Apparently oranges can do this. Ya learn something new every day) and made this for MC to charge her phone.
Kenshin: “Is this advanced weaponry from the future?” “You could bonk someone on the head with it but no, it’s used for many things. In the future if you had a device like this you could instantly message and talk to others.” Wishes cellphones were invented 500 years ago for 2 reasons: 1) Easy contact of battle updates and keeping track of where different army troops are 2) so he could keep tabs on MC and hear her lovely voice when he was apart from her. Although a lot of features couldn’t be used, she showed and taught him the three most notable things the smartphone could do: take/save pictures and videos and play music. MC showed him photos of her and her friends and her family, letting Kenshin get to know her more and her life in her future and feel closer. Liked the hard rock music, most definitely has AC/DC playing in his head when he’s cutting down opponents. MC lets him borrow the phone whenever he wants and he promises to NOT kill it, no matter how many times it buffers or shuts off. MC noticed one day that there was a private photo album that she didn’t remember that had recent photos. The first five photos were horribly blurry or a thumb covering the lens so she figured Kenshin was just trying to figure out how to take pictures, but the next photos was of her petting the bunnies, one of her smiling and waving , and one of her passed out on the futon in the morning. “Hey Kenshin, are you trying to take candid pics of me?” she asked, slightly embarrassed. “You told me the reason people take photos are to commemorate things and let you see and remember things precious to you. There’s nothing more I want to recall and look at than you.” Cue MC taking a picture of Kenshin for that same reason.
Ieyasu: Is like an old man fumbling around with the smartphone. He drops the “I don’t care” attitude because he’s genuinely fascinated and wants to learn more about these futuristic, seemingly fantasy-sounding powers the phone has. MC shows him how to take pictures and shows him her photos of life in the future. Almost chokes and turns red when photos of MC with shorts or short sleeve shirts appear and would probably blank out if there’s any beach/pool photos of MC(Too scandalous for the 1500s >///<). Would be an internal softie and sentimental of MC’s memories and stories of the past, happy to learn more about her and putting faces to the names of people MC held dear to her that she told him about. Would play jazz music or something with good beats to play in the background as he’s working on grinding herbs or organizing his medicine cabinet and might tap his foot or finger to it without noticing (it’s adorable but don’t tell him that). When he finally figured out how to take videos his first video was of Mitsunari tripping and falling flat on his face (he watches it every once in a while on a bad day to cheer himself up). When MC had to leave for a couple nights with Nobunga and Hideyoshi pretending to be an Oda princess in order to help form an alliance, she left her phone for him to entertain himself with while she was gone. When it was nighttime he already missed her warmth and her goofy smile. He hesitantly pulled the phone into bed with him and pulled up some pictures he took of her smiling at him and making funny faces as well as a short video of her laughing to tears, making him feel better but also missing her even more. MC came home early the second night and was going to surprise Ieyasu but as she was creeping up behind him she saw a glimpse of his longing face looking at a picture of her, “I can make that face right now if you want.” *cue Ieyasu jumping up before hugging MC to hide his blushing face*
Mitsunari: Would be soaking up all the information like a sponge. Would be asking MC all sorts of questions over how smartphones work and the technology as a whole (slow down, sweetie. MC didn’t invent the smartphone). Would be looking through everything and asking what everything meant, even all of the settings and the terms and agreements section (prayers for MC). Would learn all there is to know about the smartphone and although boy can’t even make tea he sure can work a smartphone. Just make sure he’s using it sitting down on a stable surface or else accidents may happen. Loves learning about MC’s life through her pictures, ingraining them into his memory like he does with his books. Would be asking so many questions about the clothing and the architecture and everything in the picture that is not like his time period. He wouldn’t want to forget a thing when it comes to the love of his life and her lifestyle in her time. He’s a total nerd with the smartphone, testing taking pictures and videos. Would use it to record messages to go back to when he’s formulating battle strategies. Would be putting on some smooth jazz when doing tasks because it gets him in the zone to read and strategize. When MC had to leave for a small political trip with Nobunga and Hideyoshi without him, she told him the phone was his while she was gone and could do whatever he wanted with it. When she asked for it back she immediately realized her lock screen and homescreen were of her petting Kitty and of her excitedly talking. “When did you take these pictures of me?” “I’m sorry you just looked so cute I just had to take a picture. When you told me I could customize the phone while you were gone I wanted to make the wallpaper something I could look at as much as my books. It let me admire you even if you physically weren’t in front of me.” he’d answer with an angelic smile. “But now that you’re here I can admire you in more ways a mere picture.” he added, with a blush and a deep gaze. (MC almost choked and spit all over the smartphone)
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SUGAR HIGH, chapter viii. (w. JJK)
You're not entirely sure when it happened, though you'd come to terms with it. You'd counted the days, waiting for the inevitable. You'd truly thought you'd be okay, but by the broken, half-beating thing in your chest - you knew you'd never really been prepared.
alt summary. You thought you’d known real love and maybe you had - it just wasn’t with who you thought.
pairing. jeon jungkook. mentions/involvement of ot7.
tags. angst, break up, post-break up, comfort, OT7, slow burn, friendship, moving on, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, emotional baggage, fluff, canon compliant, jeon jungkook is bad at feelings, jeon jungkook is a good friend, jeon jungkook is a sweetheart.
rating. general (for now?)
word count. ~2000
chapter 8. Boy With Luv
You find yourself stepping out of your shell, stopping to smell the roses again. Has life always been this sweet?
“Who are you and what’ve you done with the Soomi I know?”
You know he’s only teasing but somehow, you’re blushing scarlet, apples of your cheeks turning as red as their namesake.
“‘You need to get out more,’” you answer verbatim, even adopting the low rasp of Yejin’s. You realize you sound more like Batman but run with it anyway, small hand shielding your mouth in some sort of makeshift voice changer. “‘You’re going to keep mopping around until you put yourself out there. And I don’t mean with the boys.’”
Hoseok is scandalized, his expression morphing into one that screams ‘how dare she!’ and ‘what the hell!’ in equal parts.
“Yah - you tell her to respect her elders!”
The way he says it makes you think Seokjin’s been parroting the same phrase around the apartment and it’s now drilled into the dancer’s brain.
“She’ll tell you off.” Spoken sagely and yet so very matter-of-fact. It didn’t matter that he was beloved by millions or her older - Yejin mocked him like he was her little brother. No one was spared.
Something about growing up in America, she’d say.
“Whatever,” he huffs before the sound is descending into a laugh, feet shifting until he’s knocking into your hip. “If it got you here, then I don’t mind.”
Here being a dance studio. A place he’d normally never catch you, unless dragged along by your over eager best friend or as a patient observer.
This time, you were here of your own accord. You’d even cracked a joke about inheriting Hoseok’s dance skills by osmosis, asking for a good luck sweatband.
(You’d tried not to cringe when he’d slipped it over your head, only marginally relieved when he insisted it was new.)
“You’ll have fun. I promise.” You don’t lock pinkies and you don’t press kisses to your thumbs, sealing it in forever, but you still believe him. He would never lead you astray, that much you knew. He’d maybe make you trip over your own two feet or blow a lung from exhaustion, but you’d be giggling the whole time.
You try to shake the nerves, will them away from the tips of your fingers. It’s hard when there’s a handful of people around you, all eagerly drawn by the chance to dance with Jung Hoseok.
Honestly, you probably owe him a flat of Sprite after this. And a jar of your dad’s kkakdugi.
"Okay, now that everyone is warmed up, let's get ready to begin." You've never heard him like this, authoritative yet gentle, his words a warm reassurance as he settles beside you. "We'll be going through the chorus of ON. We'll be jumping right in on count eight and land on one."
The way he moves should be illegal, the grace with how he runs through the motions a god-given gift. Even the simple act of bracing arms over one another - right above left - and jumping, feet spread wide, is done with a practiced ease you could never manage. The rotation of his arms is hypnotizing, a forelock of slate grey catching beneath the light as he readjusts in a single, fluid motion. You're not quite sure if his eyes are even open or if this is as easy as breathing.
He'd been guiding your group so easily that you'd nearly forgotten he was speaking. "Soomi-ya, you need to do it too," he chides sweetly, breaking the spell.
"Oh, right. Sorry."
"It's fine, just relax. Pretend it's just us."
So you do, doing your best to memorize the patterns he taps out and the direction of his arms. It's harder than you remember, but maybe that's your nerves. Still, you try, apologizing around laughter when you accidentally drag yourself in the opposite direction, swinging your arms into the crags of Hoseok's shoulders.
You let the warmth radiate through your body and when your lungs are on fire, you push harder (and remind yourself to do some more goddamn cardio).
You're dying. You have to be. There's no other explanation for the way you're laying on the floor, what used to be your legs but you're sure are now just jelly sprawled out beneath you. Your head is swimming and your chest is heaving but you feel oddly light, as if the air's filling you and lifting you above the immobile shape of your body.
"Stop being so dramatic." God, he sounds like he hasn't even broken a sweat. He doesn't even look bothered.
You gulp once, twice, and try to speak but it comes out like a half-whine, half-groan. "Can't. Dying."
"Do you need water?"
If you'd been paying attention, you might've noticed the change in tone, the distinctly different voice.
But instead, you're barely alive and reaching for the shadow of the water bottle. Hands scramble across the surface, all but yanking the offering from a loose grip. You manage a polite 'thank you!' before you're chugging the contents, all semblance of civility temporarily forgotten.
"Thank you, Wooram-ssi."
Your head snaps up. Who was Hoseok speaking to?
"No problem. I don't think a heart attack in class would go over well." You'd laugh if you weren't so mortified.
You gape up at him for a second longer before you're throwing yourself up, ignoring the way your right knee begs to give out and steadying yourself with the help of your friend's arm. You're certain you look like a complete mess - in fact, you can see it reflected back at you in the mirrors of the dance studio.
Baby hairs wild, ponytail no longer deserving of the name. Pink sits on your cheeks, seemingly permanently burnt there.
"I'm Kim Wooram." The stranger is offering a hand and a grin. You don't know him but you feel immediately at ease when he lays that smile on you. He has kind eyes and a soft face, the angle of his jaw and the slope of his nose working to harden the otherwise baby-faced contours. The piercings in his ear reflect the incandescent lights, gleaming as his head cocks to the side in curiosity. You wonder how old he is to have been speaking to Hoseok so casually.
It takes you a moment to respond but when you do, you're quite proud of how level your voice is. "Park Soomi."
Your hands meet and you swear you hear bells.
( 6:13pm ) paksom: sorry i missed your call!
( 6:13pm ) paksom: everything okay?
It hadn't been bells but the dinging of your phone, nestled into your bag and forgotten.
( 6:15pm ) jeon jungkook: come over?
( 6:15pm ) jeon jungkook: we're cooking tonight
( 6:16pm ) jeon jungkook: samgyupsal!!!!
You can practically hear his excitement through the little device, a sticker of his BT21 character popping across your screen.
"Hobiiii." The way you're singing his voice catches his attention and Hoseok's at your side in an instant, peering down at your phone expectantly. "We're cooking tonight! Let's go pick up some extra stuff on the way back."
You've definitely bought too much. Between the two of you, you're carrying five bags or rather, he's struggling with four and you're happily trailing behind with one. Not that you hadn't offered - you had, arguing in front of the store before you'd thrown your hands up in exasperation.
"Can you open the door?" He's sidestepping, allowing you access to the door handle. The keys in your hands jingle, little acrylic KAWS figure swinging from the small set. You turn the lock carefully before edging in, the welcome aromas of fat and spice wrapping you in a warm hug before you're consumed in real, physical heat, the smallest member somehow engulfing you.
"Hi, Jiminie." The greeting is lost in the collar of his sweater as he squeezes you. "You should help Hobi-oppa with the groceries."
All at once, you're able to breathe again, Jimin having released you in favour of taking two bags off his hyung's hands. So eager to help, you think. "What did you get?
Scratch that. Just hungry.
"A bunch of random stuff we thought everyone might like. I bought squid for osam-bulgogi, since you like seafood now, right?" He'd mentioned it in a V Live recently but he's still surprised, the biggest smile stretching his perfect lips. You can't help but return the expression of joy, proud in being able to bring such delight to one of your favourite people. "I also brought a bunch of banchan I made earlier this week. And soju and makgeolli!"
"And kkakdugi, but that's mine!" It's a booming proclamation as the three of you shuffle into the kitchen, goodies dropped unceremoniously on the kitchen counter and everyone's attention now caught.
"You didn't have to bring so much stuff!" Seokjin, flabbergasted as snacks spill out and a glossy green bottle nearly rolls off the edge of the island.
"Welcome back." Namjoon, from his seat, headphones around his neck as he taps away at his laptop.
"Yes, I did! A guest can't come empty-handed." Both of you know you're right but neither you nor Seokjin relent, huffing adorably at each other. He breaks first, turning his attention to the things he needs to immediately start preparing and instructing Jimin to put away anything else. Watching them, it truly is like being among family. It makes you feel fuzzy inside as you take a seat beside Bangtan's leader, dragging your attention from the now-bickering members - something about 'that's not the right place!' - to survey the apartment. "I saw you guys last week."
Namjoon doesn't even look up when he answers, "No, you saw us on Wednesday. It's now Saturday of the following week."
You almost snort, giving him a heavy dose of side-eye. "Joonie-oppa, are you my abeoji?"
It's clear he isn't expecting that when he nearly knocks his headphones off with the force in which he turns to you. "Yah! It's not me. Jungkook--"
And then there are hands on his shoulders, long fingers tensing and pressing perhaps a little too hard. The maknae has appeared out of nowhere, seemingly conjured by the sound of his name. His hair's still wet, water droplets darkening the grey of his tee shirt and dripping down the curve of his ear.
"Yes, hyung?"
"You can't just sneak up on people like that."
"I heard you say my name so I thought you were calling for me."
"No, I was telling--"
There's that subtle flex of fingers again. You're watching the two of them like some weird tennis game, attention bouncing from one face to the other's.
"You guys are being weird."
Even weirder is the way they're refusing to meet your eyes, instead boring holes into each other's like they're going to find gold buried somewhere.
When Namjoon finally relents, he goes back to his computer like nothing's happened and Jungkook's transferring his weight to you, arms locked comfortably around your shoulders. You can feel the moisture from his hair sliding down your cheek and you resist the urge to pull away once it's seeping into the cotton of your top.
"Hello to you, too." You muse, twisting your neck to meet his stare.
"How was dance class with Hobi-hyung?"
The chance to answer is torn from you as the man in question appears across the island, flicking the faucet on to wash his hands and assist with dinner. He's got a great big grin on his face, cheeks puffed out like the literal cat ate the canary.
"She did really well, though I think I'm going to be bruised from where she stepped on my foot." A tongue wagging at you. Had you thought he was going to give a compliment without wrapping it in mockery? "Wooram-ssi saved her from dying at the end."
He's wiping his hands before returning to his spot, taking up the easy task of chopping carrots. He seems so focused that you think he's done speaking, about to resume your conversation with your best friend.
"He asked for your number, by the way."
You're not sure whether it's you or Jungkook when you tense. What?
notes. hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha. that's all I can say.
this was a super fun chapter to write so i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did.
#bts fluff#bts#bts fanfic#bts fic#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic#jungkook fluff#jungkook x you#jungkook x reader#jungkook x oc#work.zip#bestfriends.zip#sugarhigh.doc#jungkook.doc
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How Remus Started Working For Patton: Part 5
Masterpost
Tw: Remus being Remus/Swearing/Drug Mention/Drinking Coffee
While it took some getting used to, Remus was immensely pleased at his newfound membership to the Anacondas.
Not ONLY did he have another person to annoy the shit out of daily (this position was held by Dee and Virgil exclusively, as well as his brother), but he also was able to pop by and bring Pat on his adventures so he could feel that fuzzy sensation in his chest.
Ree still couldn't determine why he felt that way, but he supposed it was because Pat would listen to him ramble without telling him that it was stupid.
Or maybe it was because he was pretty? He was remarkably attractive, whether in a skirt or in a pair of jeans, and his hair seemed softer than even that dead rabbit Virgil dared him to touch once. Whether that was because the rabbit was dead or because Patton was Patton, it didn't matter. But even then, Remus had met plenty of attractive people! And he didn't usually have this reaction, at least, not one this soft.
Maybe it was the danger? Pat was part of a crime organization. Remus always did like the danger of doing things most people saw as dangerous or scandalous, but it didn't feel particularly high stakes yet. The most risky encounter they had was that damned seagull chasing after them. (Remus was going to kill that bird one of these days...)
He supposed he'd have to ask his brother. Grosssssss. Remus hated asking his brother for advice, it always was some fairytale crap or something similar. But, as Virgil wasn't home, and he was NOT going to ask Patton (that would be embarrassing), Dee (they're brothers) or Logan (he's not too good at emotions), he had no other choice.
So that's why he was standing on the balcony of Roman's apartment, hair full of leaves, sighing for what seemed like the twentieth time as Roman continued to not notice him.
"Oh brother dorkest!~ It is me, your evil twin! Get your gay ass out here!"
That seemed to do the trick, well, to some degree. It at least made Roman jump, turning his head to look through the window at him.
Not too long after, it also caused him to finally open the window! Spectacular.
"Remus you know I have a front door."
"Oh but it's just so much more fun to see your reaction when I use unconventional means! Remember when I used your vent system?"
"Yeah, and you nearly fell through it. To what do I owe the displeasure of a meeting with you?" Despite his words, Roman was clearly biting back a smile.
Hopping through the open frame, Remus began to pace around the apartment, leaving a trail of leaves in his wake. It had been windy outside, he couldn't help it!
"I am facing an emotional dilemma!"
"Dilemma? Who taught you these fancy words? Where is my real brother???" Roman crossed his arms where he stood, leaning up against the wall in amusement.
"Oh shut your butt. Seriously though, I am facing problems and all my other friends are unable to help at this time."
"That's a first."
Remus ran a hand through his hair, wishing he had put a braid in it or something. Normally he'd be fine with it full of leaves, he'd had worse, but right now he was on edge and he'd prefer if there wasn't the crinkly sound every time he moved. "Its with this guy dipshit! This guy that for whatever reason I cannot understand why he enjoys my presence."
With that statement, Roman's demeanor changed drastically. Making his way over to his brother, he sat him down on the couch. "This seems like a problem in which we'll need some coffee. You still like yours the same?"
Ree simply nodded, still stewing over his emotions.
His brother came back holding two mugs, one that was coffee only in name, and the other that was some amalgamation of cream cheese, sriracha sauce, and hot fudge.
He handed the abomination to Remus, sipping his own. "Ok spill."
"So a few weeks back, I met this guy. And I thought it would be like all my other flings ya know? Chill, not much expectations, and ending after about a week. But this guy is just, pure sunshine. He and I flirt a bit, and he's pretty cuddly but as far as I can tell he sees me as a friend. But I don't know how I see him, because whenever I'm around him I get this dizzy feeling and it's like being drunk and taking hallucinogenics at the same time??"
"Ah so you're in love with him!!!"
Remus nearly spit out his drink at how sudden it was. "Excuse me??"
"You're in love!!!"
"That's ridiculous! I don't do that! The most I have is a one night stand! A fling if I'm particularly bored! I don't do 'in love' my dearest bother." Making air quotes with his free hand, he continued sipping his drink, if you could call it that.
Seriously. What was even in it??? It looked disgusting! But for some reason Remus kept drinking it??? What a madman.
"Well, tell me about this guy then."
"What???"
"For curiosity's sake! It's been so long since I've had a relationship so I'm projecting to yours."
"Haven't gotten laid recently?" Remus wiggled his eyebrows, knocking elbows with him to see if he'd spill his drink.
"Ugh!! Vulgar, he'd at least have to buy me dinner first." Ro swiped his mug away before the mountain of whipped cream was disturbed, frowning. "But seriously! What's this guy like?"
"If you want the basic description, he's cute as fuck. If you want the less basic description, he's quite possibly the only guy who I would want to slow dance with since...collage at least."
"Wow, slow dancing??"
"I KNOW right??? He's got these pretty-ass eyes and whenever I look into them I just melt and he's so soft that when he hugs me I'm just a puddle of blood and guts on the floor and I'd let him tear the heart from my chest if he asked."
"Wow. That's...that is a crush. That my dear brother, is a crush!"
"Ugh shut up. So what's up with your life right now? Make any new musicals?"
Roman's face lit up, and then dimmed almost immediately after. He didn't meet Ree's eyes as he spoke, slowly stirring his drink. "Well..."
"Well what?"
"I did, but it was rejected again."
"That's bullshit! Your scripts are amazing! Even if they lack the blood and gore, they're some of the best pieces I've ever read! That cock of a publishing company should be begging for your works!"
"It's really not that big of a deal...they were unpolished anyways."
"I'm going to commit arson soon enough."
"Remus no! I'll just try some of the other publishers. I'll have to work twice as hard, but maybe one of them will like it..."
As Remus looked at his brother, he noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how his body curled into itself, as if it was barely staying together.
"Dipshit...you haven't been sleeping well huh?"
A shake of his head was all Remus needed to set both of their mugs down on the coffee table, lifting up his brother. "You need a break. I don't trust you not to work yourself to death."
"Remus no, I have to get working on the next-"
"Nope! I'm taking you to my pal's place. He'll watch after you. I'm going to work soon, so I'd do it myself, but he's second best."
"Please tell me you aren't leaving me at a bar."
"Nope! Logan doesn't drink. Says it messes with his brain's 'structural integrity' or something."
Roman, used to his antics, simply wrapped his arms around Remus, leaning into him as he grumbled something he couldn't hear.
"Don't worry, I'll grab your keys so you can get back in. He's nice I swear!"
"If I end up dead in an alley I'm haunting you."
"Virgil would hate that. He already thinks we have ghosts in our apartment, you'd be the final straw before he buys an ouija board."
They talked quietly as Remus grabbed some of Roman's important stuff, then heading out. Thankfully, no one bothered them on the walk over, and Remus didn't have much problem knocking on the stained door of Logan's place, which, in his words, 'serves as my workplace as well as my domicile so Remus kindly stop bothering my cat.'
"Hey Locoooooooooo!"
There was banging from inside as his only answer unfortunately, so Remus assumed that he was in his lab.
Time to let himself in! Roman had fallen asleep on his shoulder by now, so he couldn't set him down to crawl through a window. Crap. Might as well use the keys then.
Maneuvering his grip, he managed to grab them from his pocket, stepping in. Entropy, who was sitting on her cat tower, merely blinked at him before hopping off, most likely to go find Logan.
"Lo-comotive!"
"Remus I swear if your roommate threw you out again because you messed with a skunk-"
Ah! There he was. He must have been working with one of his machines again, when he came out to greet him, he was wearing his metal-working mask. "Hi Logie!~"
"Hello Remus. Why does it appear as if you're carrying a dead body?"
"This is my brother! I told you about him before. He needs someone to watch after him so he actually rests for once in his goddamned life."
Roman, who had awoken by now from all the noise, struggled to get out of Remus's arms. "I'm not a child-"
"I can't watch him right now since I have to go work at Hell Incorporated-" He made a face, disgusted at even the mention of his office job, "-so I thought you could?"
Logan turned up his mask, looking closer at Roman, his face...red? Wait what? It was probably because the machine tended to get hot. Or...
"Remus, you want me to nanny your twin brother?"
"Yep! He's an incorrigible little menace that won't sleep unless you force him to or he passes out from exhaustion."
"This is a grown man we are discussing?"
Piping up from his struggle to get down, Roman turned to look at Logan. "Exactl-"
His intended speech cut off as he locked eyes, exhaling a little bit at the sight. "oh."
Glancing between the two of them, Remus noticed the redness on both of their cheeks, and wanting to see none of whatever stirred up his brother, simply pushed him into Logan's twig arms. "I'll be back soon!"
Both turned to look at him, startled looks on both their faces.
"Remus!"
He was already out the door, snickering.
#ts roman#ts remus#ts patton#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides#gang au#roman sanders#remus sanders#intruality#logince#guys im so excited
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Abel and Cain Chapter 1
This is the Blue Exorcist fic I have been working on lately that will lead to the anime Titans story. It is an AU of sorts and explores the dark facets of Rin and Yukio's personalities. This chapter is told from Yukio's POV mostly. This takes place after Rin's powers are exposed. I originally named this fic Abel and Cain
YUKIO's POV
I sigh to myself as I walk out of the conference room haven been briefed about the , all these formalities and nonsensical bureaucracy is doing my head in. Thankfully I managed to slip out without Rin ever finding out. Like I would want that fool to ruin things for me and steal the spotlight like he always does. You see that is the problem with Rin; he is nothing more than an attention whore who wants the world to revolve around him and adore him. As if, when he is not just Satan's son but also the closet thing to an actual demon whilst I am nothing more than the most perfect angel the world has ever seen. The idiot exposed himself to the world so it is only natural that I make things worse for him. The boy is nowhere to be seen, not like I give a fuck. He can die for all I care. Soon, the world shall bow to me once I enact my evil diabolical plan.
Ok, now I know you all gonna be like why am I being mean to him? He deserves it tbh because I am tired of being in his shadow. Sure he downplayed his intelligence to make me shine and also has helped in the past. But little does he realize that he is helping me that way. The more the fool destroys himself, the more powerful and popular I become. Although I do not show it in public, I do enjoy and crave the attention I get from those putrid whiny bitches that throw themselves at me.
That ironically gave me an idea which I shall put into action. But before that, I need to ditch the other thorn at my side that would surely ruin my plans; Shura. Yes idiot Shura, Shura who thinks she is superior to me. Well newsflash bitch, I am hundred times way better than everyone especially her, Rin and that wretched old man that rotted in hell. Oh yeah, on that side note, that is part of why I hate Rin or rather, that is my legitimate excuse for hating Rin when in fact, I have always hated my big brother and is trying to destroy him at every cost.
Yeah I told him all was forgiven and shit but I was just toying with him. Nii-san is extremely emotional and thus that makes it easier to exploit and manipulate him like I have always done ever since we were little kids. Anyhow, I digress. Back to the main topic at hand here people. Now where was I? Oh yes...
"Excuse me guys, gonna go to the loo." I lied as convincingly as I could and slip into the bathroom. Once inside, I make sure to lock up the door. "You may come out now my underlings." I say. A massive shadow is casted across the room and out come two male demons, one is much taller than I am with red hair and the other has messy green hair. Both have horns on their heads though they do not have tails, both wearing school uniforms. These two are my brothers Iblis the King of Fire and Beelzebub the King of Insects. Yes bitches, I do have demonic powers but they were supressed till recently hence why I have managed to get away with my evil deeds and put Rin in trouble all the time. Yes all the fights the buffoon gets into are my doing plus a couple of other things.
"Must you keep on calling us that?" Beelzebub whines. Iblis smacks upside in the head. "Silence!" he barked. Beelzebub pouts. I simply rolled my eyes. "Look I did not summon you here for some prit a prat. I have a mission for you both." I say with the most deadliest smirk in place.
NORMAL POV
"Where is Okumura-san?" Konekomaru asked. Shiemi looks up. " I haven't seen him since that incident." says Shiemi. "I did see him walking along the corridors at one point but he has been skipping classes." says Shima."Let's just forget about him." says Suguro. The others just do that and pretend that he does not exist. All except Izumo who is standing outside fists clenches.Those fakeass bitches!!! How dare they treat him that way?!!! I must find him at once and bring him back. With that, she races off to find him.
Rin meanwhile was seated on the rooftop of their dorm, breaking down in tears. They have all abandoned me. he says to himself. Kuro nuzzles him. Rin don't cry. I am sure your friends would find you. he says. He nods and absentmindedly pets the cat. Without realizing it, he opens his mouth and words began to flow:
Amaimon, Mephisto and a newly revived Astaroth walk towards the Okumura brothers’ dorms. “I am sure our little brother is here.” Sure enough, they find the boy sitting on the roof in tears.
Upon seeing him in such a pitiful state, Amaimon hugs his brother without a moment of hesitation whilst Astaroth pats his head. Kuro grins. See told ya so. The poor boy was confused out of his mind. "W-what are you guys doing here?" he asked. "What else?" says Mephisto.
"What are they doing here?! And is Reiji still under the influence?!!" he yelled, pointing at both Amaimon and Astaroth. "Whoa! Calm down otouto! We mean, no harm. Honest. Plus I actually do kinda look like Reiji in human form." says Astaroth, raising his hand. Rin glares at him suspiciously. "And besides, we have been searching for you following that little incident back there." says Mephisto.
Amaimon nods."It was not my intention to fight you or anything but it seemed like some powerful force had control over me and made me not only attack you but also enabled you to expose your powers." he said.
He gaped at them. "You mean via mind control?" Rin asked. Mephisto nodded. "Even I do not know who could have done that as Amaimon was perfectly sane when we left the house." Rin thinks. Unless that perpetrator might have followed them and placed some magic charm on Amaimon to act that way. "Indeed but we need to redeem Rin's image first because I discovered that someone filmed that fight and posted it on social media." says Mephisto.
"WHAT?!" Rin shouts. "Let me ask you something Rin, have you noticed anything strange about Yukio?" asked Mephisto. Rin sighs. “Besides the fact that he distances himself from me and often acts coldly towards me, nothing else.”
Mephisto simply nods. He too has been observing Yukio’s behaviour and had grown suspicious of the boy. The increased presence of minions of their brothers Beelzebub and Iblis certainly do not help matters. Amaimon did say that he say the two around True Cross talking to Yukio once which makes Yukio look even more shadier. What could that boy be discussing with those two? And if Lucifer is involved in this, that makes it worse.
"Now otouto, we must make haste and take you out of here to somewhere where you can relax and unwind and become the man you ought to be and not what Yukio dictates you to be." he says.
Rin nods. "You do have a point there. I am tired of always playing second fiddle to that bastard." He then smirks deviously. "I want to be the man I ought to be." Amaimon pats his back. "See? This is what we wanted to tell you otouto." he said. Astaroth pats him on the back. " Now you will have to pack up though and bring both Kurikara and that familiar of yours with ya." says Mephisto. Rin nods. "Here goes nothing." he says.
Rin's POV
I sigh as soon as I reach the dorm. Yukio hasn't arrived home yet which is a blessing because I cannot stand another week of talkless days and nights with my twin. Speaking of which, said boy has been acting weird towards me, almost as if I do not exist. I do not blame him afterall, I killed Shiro Fujimoto our beloved adoptive Father plus all this stuff regarding me being Satan's Son and inheriting his flames is causing all sorts of drama for me.
Those stupid Grigori bitches put me on trial and treated me like a fucking animal. Ok, I admit to losing control of my flames but truth be told that I had no idea what happened back there and now that I think about it, Amaimon may most likely have been under some form of mind control. I mean, Mephisto did try to stop him from attacking me. Nothing adds up to be honest and for some weird reason I suspect Yukio here.
I know strange but it is true. That boy has always been suspicious. All this talk about long missions and whatnot is starting to become even more weird to me. Yes he is my brother but at the same time, let me acknowledge the abuse he has subjected me to. I was so naive to have allowed that bastard to take advantage of me for years.
Still, it is strange that these two older brothers of mine plus Mephisto are treating me nicely and seem to understand me, accepting me even better than my own twin. That alone makes me feel uneasy. My train of thoughts gets distracted by a little meow from beside me. Hurry up Rin. You need to pack up. says Kuro. I nod and begin to pack up my stuff. I bet Yukio would throw a fit when he does not see me for days though to be honest, I doubt he would even care since he hasn't been acting brotherly to me lately, probably enjoying all the popularity that he is getting now at school. It is obvious that that bitch enjoys all the attention as he treats me like I am second rate everytime especially behind the scenes but still pretends to be all nice to me in public.
Everyone thinks that I am stupid and clueless about my surroundings. Actually I am not very happy go lucky. If anything I am much darker than that and much smarter than people give me credit for. I just pretend to be stupid to hide my real self because if these bitches knew just how smart and powerful I truly am, that would scare the shit out of them.
I smile bitterly as I throw my clothes into my bag. That dream inspired by what the old man spoke to me as a kid, the words encouraging me to shape up and be the man that loads of people would admire, the hero that I aspire to be, seems almost impossible to reach now, not with the current scandal I have been hit with. I cannot help but chuckle at that word. Yes when the entire school knows about your true heritage, it is certainly one hell of a scandal. Once I am done packing, I take one final look at what has been my home for the past couple months and leave. Chances are this would be the last time Yukio and I would ever see each other again.
Anyhow, I leave that dorm and head off to meet Mephisto and the others at the car park. "I have already sorted out the mess involving people knowing about your identity." says Mephisto. "Uhm, how?" I asked. "Trust me, it's best you do not know." says Astaroth. "Anyhow, we must be off." says Mephisto. We all get into the limo and drive off.
NORMAL POV
Izumo arrives Rin’s dorm, only to find it vacated. “Oh my God....don’t tell me that I am already late...”
Before she could turn around, she gets knocked out by a mysterious person.
So there you have it guys. I originally posted this and deleted it by mistake. Thank goodness I still saved the draft of the original fic and edited some stuff in here. Might do a spinoff on Izumo.
#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#fanfiction#rin okumura#yukio okumura#mephisto pheles#amaimon#astaroth#lucifer#shiemi moriyama#izumo kamiki#bon suguro#shima#konekomaru miwa
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The Grand Rebranding
There were only twenty minutes before noon, and for the first time in months, I was afraid.
It wasn’t the kind of fear that you might feel if you were facing down a pack of geists while waist-deep in snow. For a warrior trade princess like me, that was just another weekday. It wasn’t the fear that some might feel when facing down someone much larger than them in a hand to hand duel, that was just life as a goblin. It wasn’t even the fear of being penniless since I had hit rock bottom before and dragged myself out of it by my thumbs and could do so again if need be.
I was afraid that my fiancee was going to be late for the biggest day of my life.
I know that sounds selfish, but you have to understand. The plan was months in the making and it’s the biggest gift a goblin could ever give to another.
If Pexi had read the note I left by the steak omelet I cooked for her before heading out, she’d have found a simple message that said “I need you in Bilgewater today at noon. Just go to Shatt and talk to the Draenei named Boorus, he’ll tell you what happens next.” The note shouldn’t have been missed since it was black bold letters on ugly gold paper. The directions should have been clear enough that even if Pexi got distracted, she wouldn’t forget it. I love my fiancee, but she’s not the smartest Troblin on Azeroth. Anyway, after she talked to Boorus, he would teleport her to Orgrimmar where one of my flight-boys would give her a chaperoned ride to Bilgewater isle, that I had rented for the morning and early afternoon for today’s announcement, that my parent company was a rebranding.
No longer would Vixiee Bootsguard be the owner of Bootsguard Productions, she’d be the co-owner of Fiercefuel Fabrications. Same business but named after my fiancee.
I pictured that she would see the brand new sign and marquee that I had secretly designed over the past few weeks and would turn all sorts of shades of red, rush the stage, tackle me, and kiss me until she realized we were making out on stage. We’d have a laugh, mingle, and slip away for some private dining on the Y.A.C.H.T. that I had built and hidden in the Bilgewater warehouses for the day.
But here I was, about to have to make the announcements with the real star of the show nowhere to be seen. If I had to be honest, I was about five seconds from crying. I wanted to cancel the event, tell everyone to take all the snacks and drinks as an apology, and just hide in a room and bawl my eyes out.
But I couldn’t.
See, I’m a trade princess and the world’s strongest woman. So publicly, I have to always be in control. I have to look the part of a proud leader who would never be phased by anything. I wanted to be just like my hero Gazlowe and be honorable and good to my people except for way stronger and more successful. How could I do that if everyone saw me snotting all over the blue sequined dress that I had ordered custom woven from a Silvermoon tailor? It’d be the biggest scandal as one of the new trade princesses on the scene broke down. Even with the recent cooperation deal, I struck with Steamwheedle, I can just see that affecting business deals until the next big scandal drew eyes away from me.
So I had to go through with the rebranding…no matter what.
I shook off the feelings that made my heart hurt and sashayed my way up to the podium in front of the tarp-covered marquee. Every step was graceful, with my thighs slipping out from the slit just enough to draw eyes from the fellas and ladies that fancied amazons like me. My lips were curled in a winning smile and my purple eyes shined reflecting the carefully positioned stage lights and fireworks that heralded my appearance. The band I hired to play Kezan show tunes blared their horns and banged their drums, matching my pace and the sway of my hips.
I’ll admit it was vain as all hell, but when you look as good as me, you can show off at least a little.
Flikk, the MC I hired for the event smiled and shook my hand before the younger goblin turned towards the crowd.
“Yeah, you’re right boss! Enough ‘bout the sandwiches! Let’s give a round of applause to Trade Princess Bootsguard!” Flikk said before leaving me alone on the stage.
I winked at Flikk then grabbed the edges of the podium for support as I scanned the crowd to see if I somehow missed my blue-haired love. I winked at guests as I met their eyes and tapped my skull-shaped hairpin when I saw one of my fans showing off her limited edition recreation. I even feigned a blush when the orc in the back blew me a kiss.
But no sign of Pexi.
I don’t know how I kept the smile on my face, but the show must go on.
“Ok ok fellas,” I said, “I’m happy you are all here but let’s get this show on the road.”
I paused and waited for the whoopin’ and hollering to die down.
Someone in the back coughed and I think someone had gotten drunk on volcano punch and set something on fire when I heard a scream and the distant smell of burnt hair. Someone shouted about the Samoflange. It was good to be home again.
“Three years ago, I opened up my first solo operation,” I said, “Bootsguard productions were always about brand name adventurin’ goods so you could fight bad guys or delve in tombs in style. The devices I made were also a hit, includin’ the Bootsguard Body Blocker Electro Shield. Nevah thought I’d be a trade princess, but careful savings, smart investin’, and bein’ a badass princess like me makes it easy, especially with the help of every one of ya.”
I meant it too. Unlike Gally-bag-of-dix or other losers like him, I cared about the people that worked for me. I didn’t know everyone by name, but I don’t think a single person at that event doubted that I would have jumped to their defense against anything and everyone. I was truly the denmom for this cartel and I loved it.
“But,” I said “there comes a time when a rebrandin’ is in order. And that’s what we’re here for today to announce that—”
I heard a whipping sound and a sheer whistling sound. My ears flicked as I tried to pinpoint the source. The crowd heard it as well, as most the goblins and others there turned and murmured to see what was going on.
The sound was closer then. The whipping sound was a gyrocopter blade chopping through the air and the whistling sound was a familiar voice shouting from the horizon.
“….waaaaAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIT!”
I have to admit, my heart leaped into my throat and I felt like I had to cry. This time, it wasn’t out of frustration or disappointment. It was from the voice of my Fiancee as she clung for dear life on the landing bar of the gyrocopter while the pilot was navigating the burning sparking thing towards the island. I had a ton of questions about what exactly happened to make the thing spark and sputter like that, but I didn’t care at the time. Pexi was there at the nick of time.
As the Gyrocopter reached the island, Pexi threw herself from the burning sparking machine as the pilot swung it around for an emergency landing on the P.I.L.L.O.W. that deployed whenever scanners detected a crashing ship nearing the island. So basically about seven times a day.
“YEEEEEET” shouted Pexi as she activated her rocket boots to try for a safe landing inside of the gathered group.
The guests screamed and shouted as they made way for the troblin expecting the larger woman to crash in on them and break an arm; hers or someone else's. But I stayed still since I designed her propulsion system myself and knew about the para-soles deployment system that would make a perfectly soft and safe landing.
“Hey, doll! Ya made it!” I said to Pexi.
Pexi landed with a soft pat on the earth, her face red and sweating.
“Heya babe,” Pexi said, “Sorry I’m late. The ship had to get repairs since a bear slapped it when we were flying too low and we had to take out the passenger seats so that it could fly again and…”
I raised my hand and shook my head to quiet her. I loved my fiancee, but if I didn’t stop her, she’d explain every minute of the journey and we were already behind schedule.
“Don’t worry about it”, I said as my guests returned to their places, “You’re just in time.”
“In time for what?” Pexi asked.
I smiled at her and sashayed to a rope that trailed down from the tarp that covered the marquee.
“Hey, stop droolin’ at my fiancee”, Pexi said. I heard her slap someone in the back of the head and giggled. I don’t know who she caught, but they had to know better. This princess belonged only to Pexi. Lookin’ was free, but so was head slaps if she caught them.
I ignored the slap and turned around.
“Well doll, I said I was gonna give you the ultimate wedding gift. So…I’ll has to think of something else since our weddin’ is delayed. So call this a ‘cause you mean the world to me’ gift instead.” I said.
I jerked the rope and the tarp rolled off the marquee.
The sign was a flashing neon thing powered by my own eco-friendly pneumatics pumps. It featured Pexi and my faces with an arm outstretched welcoming visitors to whatever building we hung it over. Our faces dangled over the left side of the words “Fiercefuel Fabrications”, with my mascot, the mouse Bullion sleeping inside of the o. The S had a pair of tiny troll tusks sticking out of it to represent half of my fiancee’s parentage, while a pair of bombs dangled beneath, representing that the co-owners were a pair of bombshells.
I waited for Pexi to take it all in, then looked at her with a cheeky smile.
“So doll, what do ya thi—”
Pexi cut me off by leaping over the podium and tackling me to the ground for a big smoochin’ session.
Maybe this plan didn’t go wrong after all.
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The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo + Taylor Swift: a master post - Part 5/6
Hi guys, welcome to part 5 of my masterpost regarding parallels between Taylor Swift and Evelyn Hugo, the fictional actress from the book The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by author Taylor Jenkins Reid!
Before proceeding please be aware that there will be
**MAJOR SPOILERS**
for the book ahead and please also read my disclaimer!
It’s very important that you read these in order so if you haven’t yet go ahead and check out the previous part right here, thank you and enjoy!
“And then she calmly, confidently took my hand. I bristled, unsure if we should be touching in public, scared of what people would do. But the rest of the people on the street just kept on walking, kept on living their lives, almost entirely unaware or uninterested in the two famous women holding hands on the sidewalk.” (Pg. 234)
Admittedly not holding hands here, but this was actually the first thing that came into my head when I read the scene above…Here are some actual pictures of the girls holding hands in public though:
--
“We went out to dinner in public, the four of us looking like two pairs of heterosexuals, without a heterosexual in the bunch.” (Pg. 234)
This is once again Evelyn talking about their foursome of beards during the New York years and I believe this is something akin to what Taylor and Karlie were hoping to have with Josh and Joe/Tom (or whoever Taylor was meant to beard with long-term) pre-election disaster, hence that retrospectively embarrassing pap walk of Josh with Austin as a way to try and integrate Josh into to Taylor’s social circle so that her, her beard and Karlie and Josh could become “America’s favorite double daters” (as Evelyn describes it)
Obviously with the election turning out as it did Team Swift quickly reworked the plan.
--
Pages 234-238 is Evelyn talking of the Stonewall riots and how she remembers those days and there are specific parts of it that are interesting from a Gaylor/Kaylor point of view.
“Harry and I campaigned for Bobby Kennedy. Celia posed with Vietnam protesters on the cover of ‘Effect’. John was a vocal supporter of the civil rights movement and I had been a very public supporter of the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.” (x) (x)
“This was our people. And here they were, revolting against the police, in the name of their right to be themselves. While I was sitting in a golden prison of my own making.”
Gold cage, hostage to my feelings (x)
Evelyn, Celia, Harry and John discuss going to participate in the Stonewall riots, wishing they could be a part of this, of fighting for their own people, but ultimately Harry explains why they can’t best when he says:
“We go down there all we do is attract attention away from the cause and towards us. The story becomes about whether we are homosexuals and not about the rights of homosexuals.”
Still wanting to help make a difference the gang discuss how they best can help and come to the conclusion that their best contribution is funding.
Evelyn says about it all:
“Because of who I was, because of the sacrifices I made to hide parts of myself, I was able to give more money than most people ever see in their entire lifetime. I am proud of that. But it does not mean that I wasn’t conflicted. And of course, a lot of the time that ambivalence was even more personal than it was political. I knew it was imperative that I hide, and yet I did not believe I should have to. But accepting that something is true isn’t the same as thinking that it is just.”
Remember kids, closeted does not mean ashamed! Taylor accepting that she has to beard does not mean she likes it or even supports the practice. She uses her voice and her money to stand up for the LGBT+ community continuously and that in itself is a brave act for someone who is so deeply closeted!!
--
On page 241 Evelyn refers to herself as “the sort of person who liked being extravagant and absurd.” Basically she’s saying she was extra af™ which just sort of reminded me of how we often comment on how extra™ Taylor is with her hints and teases and it also reminded me of that time Taylor sarcastically referred to herself as “a very subtle person” The two quotes have the same energy if you will!
--
On Evelyn’s birthday the gang goes out to dinner and Celia makes a small “happy birthday, I love you”-type speech which was reminiscent of the birthday posts, sweet! (pg. 242)
(one of many of course)
“’You love me?’ She said.
‘Oh my God, what an understatement,’ I told her.
‘You love me so much you can’t see straight?’” (Pg. 245)
Too in love to think straight……………
--
Years after they last saw each other Evelyn meets back up with her abusive ex-husband, Don (one out of only two of her husbands who wasn’t a beard) when she’s put in a situation where the two of them have to do a movie together.
“‘I know it doesn’t make up for what I did to you,’ he said.
‘Good,’ I said. ‘Because it really doesn’t.’
‘But I hope it might make you feel a little better,’ he said, ‘to know that I know I was wrong, I know you deserved better, and I’m working every day to be a better man.’
‘Well, it’s awfully late now,’ I said. ‘You being a better man does nothing for me.’ (Pg. 256)
I wonder what we would’ve becomeeeee If you were a better mannnnn
We might still be in loveeeee
If you were a better mannnnn
You would’ve been the onoooooe If you were a better mannnnnn
*The rest of Better Man plays softly in background*
--
On page 164 Evelyn gives Celia a bouquet of lilies which happens to be Karlie’s favorite flowers, Celia calls the flowers Gorgeous
--
When Celia finds out that Evelyn filmed a sex scene with her ex-husband without telling her she’s so upset she threatens to leave again, Evelyn’s reaction:
“I sobbed. And I pleaded. And I groveled, desperately, on my knees, having long ago learned the lesson that you have to throw yourself at the mercy of the things you truly want.” (Pg. 267)
If you walked away I’d beg you on my knees to stay
--
The scene on pages 267-268 where Evelyn begs Celia to take her back has major How You Get The Girl/Delicate/Don’t Blame Me vibes…It’s too long to quote, but I dare you to go read it and tell me I’m wrong!
--
“’I made people money. No one turns away money. They were all too happy to get me in their movies and then talk about me behind my back.’” (Pg. 270)
Evelyn says this after discussing the rampant slut-shaming of her following her many marriages and her 1970’s film 3AM which people deemed both unbecoming of a lady and unfeminist. She goes on to point out the duality of her image, while studios acknowledge that “sex sells” and therefore want Evelyn in their movies due to the audience pull she has they also slut shame her for her numerous marriages and choices in roles. When Monique points out that this eventually turned out fine as people these days praise Evelyn for her role in the film Evelyn points out:
“’It’s all fine in hindsight,’ […] ‘Except that I spent years with a scarlet A on my chest,’ […]” (Pg. 270)
Does the phrase “a scarlet A” sound familiar? Well, I bet ya:
You were Romeo
I was a scarlet letter
and
We show off our different scarlet letters
Trust me, mine is better
Also sound familiar, right? In several of my queer analyses of Taylor’s songs I bring up the fact that “scarlet letter” refers not only to the literal scarlet A on main character Hester’s clothes, but also to the concept of sin in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter. (x) (x) (x)
I continue to point out that I think Taylor uses the concept of the scarlet letter as sin to refer to her (in the eyes of the entertainment industry) scandalous secret homosexuality, the “celebrity sin” she’s guilty of.
Evelyn uses the analogy here to refer to her own status as “a sex pot” (her words, pg. 269) in Hollywood. She says that she is a “sex pot” of Hollywood’s own creation not only by the increasingly sexually charged roles she took on during the 70’s but also because of the numerous husbands the industry forced her to take as to not be outed. By forcing bearding on her the industry opened the doors for the constant slut shaming directed at Evelyn and I feel the industry has done much the same to Taylor. The recent for the slut-shaming she’s had to endure is (like Evelyn) the numerous men she’s dated, but she only did that to hide the truth of her (far fewer) true (gay) relationships. Considering my previous points on Taylor and the scarlet-letter/sin-metaphor I thought Evelyn’s use of the analogy here interesting and noteworthy. It is of course interesting too, that the movie for which Evelyn received the most scrutiny and shaming happens to be called 3AM, we all know that Taylor mentions 2AM rather frequently in her songs about love, which are of course where she has received the most scrutiny, her songs and all the “numerous boys” they are supposedly about. I pointed out this similarity between Evelyn’s movie title and a frequent motif in Taylor’s music earlier in this analysis, but thought it was worth pointing out 3AM as a possible blanket-metaphor for Taylor’s music within the context of this book yet again.
--
“I broke Celia’s heart because I spent half my time loving her and the other half hiding how much I loved her.” (Pg. 271)
Sometimes when I look into your eyes
I pretend you’re mine all the damn time
//
Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep
--
“I loved Celia and I shared my truth only with Celia.” (pg. 271)
Even in my worst light, you saw the truth in me
Just like Evelyn Taylor is saying that even when her public reputation is bad and also very far from the actual true narrative of her life Karlie is the one that actually knows the truth and the only one she can share the full extent of that truth with.
--
“I did a lot of things that hurt a lot of people and I’d do them all again if I had to.” (Pg. 172)
Those are Evelyn’s words and yet all I can hear are Taylor’s…
Theeeeeey say I did something BAD
[…]
And I'd do it over and over and over again if I coUUUUld
--
“I had very little energy left to try to hide who we were. I had learned all too well that pain is sometimes stronger than the need to keep up appearances.” (Pg. 274)
It would seem that in the Reputation era Taylor too has very little energy left to try and hide, she has previously learnt all too well what keeping up appearances can cost you.
--
Thanks so much for reading, check out part 6, the finale!
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Ten Years
Winter knelt in front of the grave stone, reaching out to reverently draw her fingers across the embossed words. Snow fell lightly all around her, blanketing the hill in a layer of white, disturbed only by her footprints leading up to one of a handful of markers. She'd never known one, had barely known the second, but the third and fourth? Them, she knew well. The third, she'd loved... more than anything.
"Yang," she said, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I'm sorry; I found another dead end. But I'll keep trying. I'll find who took you from me."
Ten years ago, she'd gotten the call. In the middle of a series of landmark meetings between business and community leaders from all over Remnant, a police officer informed her that Yang Xiao Long, her girlfriend of nearly three years, had died after losing control of her motorcycle on a winding path around her home island of Patch. Her sister, Ruby Rose, had also perished, following closely enough behind that she couldn't avoid the same fate, their bodies lost to the jagged cliff and rolling sea below.
But Winter knew better. Her girlfriend would never drive recklessly with her sister following behind, had spent too many years on that bike to make such a simple mistake as gunning around a curve on a steep cliff, and would much rather ride with her sister into town than follow each other down anyway. Their deaths were no accident; everything had been staged to appear that way, though.
"I know I haven't visited recently." Her gaze dropped, fighting not to cry as she continued. "I wanted to entirely dismantle the operation before I confronted the boss. I thought, maybe, it would be an intimidating enough display to warrant the answer I sought. But it was all for nothing."
Beneath her feet and six feet of soil sat an empty coffin, one she'd helped carry up to the hill where all Yang's family were laid to rest. She'd dug the grave herself, with a little help, and filled it in, too. Winter had even carved out her girlfriend's headstone and swore she'd find the people responsible. It had to be one of the groups working against Weiss and Blake, trying to derail their efforts to unify Remnant under a single, fair act that would ensure equality for Faunus the world over. A new legal precedent, something to force corporations to stop treating Blake's people as anything less than the humans they worked beside. A groundbreaking measure.
But ten years passed and she'd yet to make good on that promise.
“I missed the first snowfall.” She lifted her gaze to the heavy grey clouds overhead, sprinkling down snowflakes that gently kissed her cheeks and stirred her hair. Usually, she’d feel cold, being out for this long with only her jacket and Yang’s orange scarf to keep her warm. But she hadn’t felt warm since her girlfriend died. She hardly felt anything anymore. “I’ve only got a few more possible leads- one of the crime families from Mistral. Only two really would’ve opposed the change but they’re worth looking into; I’ve already embedded my agents in their lower ranks and contacted the police through a proxy. I… know you always worried about a scandal, what that would do to my reputation, so I’m being careful.”
Blake and Weiss had succeeded in their goals. Winning support through public opinion and using the considerable might of the SDC, they’d improved the lives of Faunus all over Remnant. They still had a ways to go, of course, but the next generation would be born into a world where corporations would be held accountable for failure to provide for their workers, and that meant something.
Winter had to cling to those victories until she could have her own.
“Weiss is expecting again,” she said, running her hand over the flaming heart etched into the stone. “She said it’s my turn to name one. I told her that I don’t think that’s how it works but she insisted. I think… perhaps she knows I’ll never have children of my own to name.”
“Why not? You’d make a good mother.”
Eyes widening, Winter whirled around, pulling the pistol from beneath her jacket and training it on the intruder immediately. “Who are you? How did you find me?” She narrowed her eyes as the man chuckled. A touch shorter than her, with a black wool cap over short white hair and a white beard from ear to ear, though he still had a bit of a youthful face. A line or two from worry, perhaps, but she doubted he was older than her. A blue coat in the traditional Vacuon design and heavy trousers with a crude Schnee emblem stitched over her left breast. “Wait, I’ve heard about you. Some drunken fool in south Vacuo, claiming to be a distant Schnee relative- you’ve been singlehandedly keeping some tabloids in print, I’ll have you know.”
“What can I say? In another life, I very well might’ve been a Schnee.” He shrugged. “And, well, you won’t believe the answer I have for that first question,” he said, a bit of amusement glinting in blue eyes. “And the second? I know my way around, Snowdrift.”
Fury coursed through her veins as she shot forward, closing the distance between them and slamming her left fist into his jaw before lashing out with her right, catching him across the top of his head with her gun as he tried ducking away.
“WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?” He’d hardly hit the ground before she trained her weapon on him again, finger resting on the trigger and fully prepared to pull it. “WHERE?”
“Wow, you really learned to hit.” Staggered and dazed by her attacks, he shook his head and rubbed at the wounded areas. “I won’t make that mistake again.”
“You’re presuming you’ll live that long.”
He looked at her, a frown touching his lips as he sat up. “I really didn’t expect you to change this much. Guess the rumors are true.”
“Answer my question or I’ll put a bullet through your head.” She grit her teeth, hard enough it felt like they might shatter from the force. “You’re one of them, aren’t you? You’re one of the ones I’ve been looking for.”
“You haven’t been looking for me.” He cleared his throat and continued in a voice that pitched much higher- familiar to her ears. “You’ve been looking to avenge me.”
Her grip faltered for a split second. “N-no, you’re- you’re trying to get me to let my guard down. It won’t work.” Then, anger returned in full force. “You’re trying to get into my head-”
“You didn’t like guns before; you thought they were barbaric, the ‘rudimentary result of those unskilled yet with desires of heroic grandeur’ were your exact words, I think.” He nodded towards the pistol in her hand. “You prefer swords and their competitions, any kind- fencing, kendo, silat, whichever. You said one time ‘a child can hold a gun but most adults can barely hold a knife’, right?”
“So, you’ve been surveilling me for quite a while. That proves nothing.”
“You usually use your right hand but you’re actually ambidextrous.” The man smirked. “And there’s only three things you use your left hand for: cutting steak, boxing, and masturbation, when you’re in the mood.”
“So you’re a murderer and a pervert.” Despite the strength of her voice, doubt had started to worm its way into her mind. The cadence of speech- time had dulled the memories but now they came rushing back, suddenly vivid.
“The first time we met, it was Christmas Eve and you’d forgotten to get Weiss a present,” he said, reaching up to start scratching at his beard. “You were both workaholics then, never rested for a moment, but you’d finally remembered once you left your office. I was there trying to pick up dog food, just in case we got snowed in, and you offered me fifty lien to help you pick out something she’d like.” Suddenly, she realized he wasn’t scratching at his beard, he was pulling it off, cringing as whatever glue had kept it in place clung to both skin and the fake hair, leaving a raw, angry red splotch across his chin. “I told you to keep the money but, if she liked it, you owed me a date.”
Her mind raced. It didn’t make sense for anyone to be following her back then, and certainly not close enough to pick up on the fifty lien detail. She hadn’t told anyone that story…
… but perhaps Yang had. “That doesn’t prove anything.”
“Right.” Pulling off well worn gloves, he reached up, pulling contacts out of his eyes. “I’m sure there’s nothing I could say that’ll make you believe me. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, I’d probably be just as skeptical. I really don’t blame you.” Light blue gave way to lilac- a shade she’d yearned to see again. “I told ya you wouldn’t believe me if I just told you who I am, Snowdrift.”
The same inflection. The same voice. The same eyes watching at her with that look.
“It’s… not possible.” Winter felt her breathing become shaky, her anger ebbing as hope surged forth from wherever it had laid dormant the past decade. “What was the name of Yang’s bike?”
“Bumblebee.”
“What did she do first after waking up?”
“Kiss you or send you a text with a kissy face.”
“How do I like my coffee?”
“Black- you’ll drink it with French vanilla creamer every now and then to break up the monotony, but you’re just as likely to drink it straight from the pot.”
“How’d Yang like hers?”
“I don’t like coffee- never really did- but if I needed the encouragement after a long night, four hazelnut creamers and a dash of sugar.”
“Favorite type of nut?”
“Trick question.” Reaching up, the person grabbed the cap and pulled it away, a stubborn cowlick immediately popping up over the crown of their head. “After being with you, I said I stopped liking nuts at all.” A wink. “But, seriously, always liked almonds.”
She lowered her gun, struck a little dumb. Because anyone could guess that Yang liked almonds, that wouldn’t be hard, but word play while on the wrong end of a pistol? That took nerves, yet the woman now standing before her seemed entirely relaxed. If anything, a little hopeful and amused at her own joke, with a slight curl to her lips.
It… couldn’t be. “... Sundrop?”
“Yeah. It’s me.” Yang shrugged her shoulders, lips pulling into a small grin as she stood. “It’s good to see you again, Snowdrift.”
“‘It’s good to see you again’ that’s all you have to say for yourself?” Tears pricked at her eyes as her heart ached, feeling, for a moment, like it’d been torn from her chest all over again. “They told me you died in an accident! I went there myself, saw Bumblebee’s wreckage littering the waves, the skid marks- I mourned you, I buried you!” She gestured back at the grave markers. “I lost you and here you are, ten years later, ‘good to see you again’, Yang Xiao Long, I swear-”
“I had to, Winter, please,” she said, taking a step closer now that she didn’t have a gun pointed her way. “Believe me, it was the only way-”
“The only way to what? Break my heart?” Her arm jerked, almost bringing the weapon to bear again, but that came more from a conditioned response than her anger and hurt at such a deep running betrayal. She holstered it, not wanting there to be any doubt; she’d never harm her love, never, no matter how badly she’d been hurt by the same woman. “I loved you, Yang, and I lost you. So you could, what, run off to Vacuo? What have you been doing the past ten years while I’ve mourned you-”
“You mean while you sought revenge.” Her brows pinched together, the white color so strange to see. “You’ve spent the past decade destroying everyone who might’ve been responsible for my supposed death, haven’t you?”
“And made the world a better place for it,” she replied, pride bristling. “I sent a clear message: that no one could just claim a life without consequence.” But then, her lips pulled into a frown. “Though, I suppose, that wasn’t exactly true, now was it?” She turned away, unable to continue looking at the familiar face with that pure white hair cut so short, making the visage she’d spent the past ten years seeing only in pictures and her dreams altered just enough to make it unrecognizable. “Why did you do it, Yang? Why did you leave?”
“Because I was racing a clock.” Her voice had softened, holding no accusation in it at all. “A week before, I’d noticed some guys following me around. They obviously didn’t want to be seen but they also weren’t on your payroll. Ruby noticed that they followed her, too, but not as much. Then, I woke up one morning and found the brake lines on my bike cut.”
Blue eyes flicked back; she’d memorized the road leading out to the Xiao Long-Rose family home, every twist and turn, every slope. “You would’ve lost control before you ever made it to the ridge.”
“Exactly. They didn’t want me dead; they wanted me alive. And there was only one reason I could find for that.” The crunch of snow underfoot as Yang started walking around, giving her space while also trying to catch her eye. “So I patched the line and told Ruby to follow me a few minutes after I left. Poor bastards never knew what hit ‘em.”
Winter turned slightly, looking at the woman. “Who were they?”
“A couple of muscle men on the payroll of the first guy you took out; you’ve always had the best instincts when it comes down to it.” She shrugged. “We buried them in shallow graves just off the road, took their car and clothes, then rigged the accident. By the time police had shown up, we were on a boat heading for Vacuo with fake names and wearing mens’ clothes. No one thought twice about it.”
“Marcus Black, the master assassin operating out of Vale. I knew he was the one behind it.” Her eyes narrowed. “But I didn’t ‘take him out’.”
“No, you just got your hands on some incriminating evidence and combined it with faulty intel so the police showed up at his place guns blazing.” A tilt of her head and a chuckle. “I really didn’t know how you’d react to my death, Snowdrift, but becoming a black market information broker and systematically destroying the criminal underbelly of Remnant would’ve never crossed my mind.”
“Stop calling me that.” She bristled. “I’m not that person anymore and you’re ten years past having that right, anyway.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Another shrug. “Honestly, Winter, if I had another option, I would’ve taken it. Ruby and I were here, on an island, with at least two guys looking to abduct us to use as leverage. Against you, Weiss, Blake- no telling where it would’ve stopped. So, we had to disappear.” Then, she gestured to her hair. “But I thought… if you or Weiss ever came around, looking to settle that ‘distant Schnee relative’ rumor, I could explain myself. But neither of you ever did.”
Her eyes narrowed, a tendril of doubt worming into the back of her mind. “You-”
“Know damn well that you two would never personally confront a rumor like that? Yeah, I do.” A mirthless chuckle. “But hope’s a funny thing. It was the only message I could send, the only bit I could reach out, but it was a double-egded blade. We were safe because who would look into a tabloid rumor when you two didn’t even deem it worth your concern? At the same time… I wanted you to look into it, so I kept drawing attention to myself… but no one ever came.”
Winter swallowed past a lump in her throat. “And you would’ve been a Schnee in another life.”
“I’d like to think that-”
“No.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, yellow box with a custom image embroidered into the lid- the same one adorning the stone before her. “I’d had the ring for two months when I got called about the accident. I was just… waiting for the right time to ask… and then you were gone.”
Turning around, she looked at Yang then and saw sorrow mixed with hope and love in the softness of her expression, a sad smile on her lips. “I would’ve said yes. I’ve spent every day thinking about what I would say to you when I could… if I could.” She took a shaky breath. “And at the top of that list is- I love you, Winter. And I’m so sorry that this happened. I was only trying to protect you but I know this caused you so much pain. I’m sorry.”
“I wish you’d done it just about any other way.” Winter drew in a shuddering breath. “Give me one reason not to fill the coffin I buried, Yang. Give me one reason to let you walk away.”
Silence, broken only by the crunch of snow as the woman took slow and steady steps closer, fell between them, until Yang’s arms wrapped around her- and it felt like not a day had gone by since she’d last been in those strong arms, warmth at her back, a familiar face pressing against her shoulder.
“I don’t want to walk away again, Winter. I know I can’t make up for the past ten years but I- I won’t leave you again.” Her grip tightened slightly. “I’m asking for you to take me back. I know it’s harder than that, complicated- if you walk away, I understand. But I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why now?” She didn’t melt into the embrace like she desperately wanted to do. “Why come back now?”
“To be sure it was safe. For you, Weiss, Blake- if all your enemies aren’t dead, they’re probably too scared to try now.” By small degrees, the embrace loosened. “I’ve.... been waiting for you to come around for months now. I figured… this was my best shot at getting you to hear me out.”
Tears pricked at her eyes, the whole experience becoming almost too much to bear after being tortured in thousands of nightmares over the years. She’d never dared to hope that she’d see her love again but her subconscious inflicted upon her countless agonies, conjuring so many ways when their paths might cross again- Yang, returned from the dead. “And what if I never want to see you again?”
“Then… I’ll disappear again… no tabloids, no messages. You’ll never have to worry about me again.”
“You’ve been gone longer than we were together.” Winter swallowed hard, trying to maintain her composure. “We’re not the people we used to be.”
“No, we’re not,” Yang said, allowing her arms to drop. “But you’re still my...” And she knew. The petname that went unspoken but she could still hear it, reverberating in her heart. “We aren’t who we used to be but I still see in you the woman I love. And I’m willing to win your heart all over again.”
Finally, the dam broke as she whirled around and wrapped her arms around the woman, burying her face in her neck. “Damn you, for all you’ve put me through, but I still love you. You’re still my Sundrop.”
With the snow falling down, those arms encircled her once more, and she could feel a warmth blooming in her chest once more. Then, Yang’s hand cupped her cheek, covered in tears, and directed her into a soft, sweet kiss.
“I’m sorry but I’ve been wanting to do that for ten years.” She smiled then, tears of her own beginning to track down her cheeks. “I promise, I’ll behave. We can start over from scratch- I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t hold that against me.”
“Stop dying your hair and I’ll consider it,” she said, a moment before leaning back, too quick and too hard for Yang to keep them both standing, sending them tumbling into the snow.
Winter had no idea how she’d break the news to Weiss and Blake. She didn’t know how to deal with all the baggage the last ten years had put on them. She didn’t even know if she truly could forgive Yang for her actions.
But to have her there, in her arms again, laughing and crying and smiling in the fresh snow?
She was willing to find out.
#TRR writes#Elderburn#Angst#yeah this is overdue so shoot me; based on that prompt from a while back
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Best books of 2019
I read 179 books in 2019 (and finished the 179th, The Handmaid’s Tale, on 12/31, so I can watch the series and read The Testaments). This is the most I’ve ever read in one year (in 2018, I read 173). I was sharing this update with my grandmother, and she asked me if my goal was to read as many books as possible. I thought about it for a bit, and it’s not but it is? I told her how I knew I only had so many books I’d get to read in a lifetime, and I probably think about that fact too much. I don’t want to read just for quantity’s sake, yet I know that I find some of the best books because I have an insatiable appetite for reading. Too many books, too little (life)time.
I also read instead of watching TV (generally), and love when I’m reading something that pulls me away from social media. I love reading when Grant is reading next to me (on the couch, in bed, across from me at a restaurant on an introvert date).
And last but not least, books have saved my life before many times, and making time for reading helps keep me sane.
...now onto our program - my favorite books of the year! This year I also blogged more, if not *regularly*, so some of the books below were suggested before. If you got my Christmas card, some of these might not be surprises, either, since we had the fun idea of listing our family member’s favorite books. Some of mine are different, though, since I had to have that done in early December, and there was so much good reading time left in the year! I went on holiday break on the 17th and had saved a lot of good books for my vacation.
TOP ELEVEN (I wrote about all except the last three -- thanks December reading for those books that made this list! -- in previous posts, so will try to capture in one sentence why you might want to pick it up):
Good Talk (graphic memoir) - I bought my copy at The Strand, and have bought at least 10 copies to give to friends who are parenting in the age of Trump.
(posting this pic to prove my point, even though I’ll likely get shit from Grant about our Amazon bill)
The Most Fun We Ever Had (literary fiction) - a book with a dysfunctional family (yes, please!) and a character who cusses a lot PLUS a ginkgo biloba tree.
Fleishman Is In Trouble (literary fiction) - I want to reread this, and I rarely reread things; a rare 5-star rating from me that made me think about how I participate in misogyny without even realizing it.
Speak No Evil (literary fiction) - a queer, black immigrant high schooler in DC grapples with his identity.
The Nickel Boys (literary fiction) - a fictionalized story of real history: a disciplinary school in Florida where black boys are sent (and often “disappear”); the ending had me crying. (Also on Obama’s list of his fave reads of 2019)
Red, White & Royal Blue (romance) - more romance with bi relationships and politics, please!
Educated (non-fiction, memoir) - it wasn’t what I expected at all, I couldn’t put it down, and ultimately I think it’s about surviving.
Heads of the Colored People (short stories) - stories (and usually I hate short stories) about black identity that I’m STILL thinking about.
Disappearing Earth (mystery) - this was on so many best of lists (including the NYTimes top TEN for the year), and the hard cover had been sitting on my shelf for two long. I had it first on my read-during-winter-break list. As soon as I read two pages, I was sucked in. Two young sisters disappear in Russia’s Far East, and then the story unfolds, told by the perspectives of folks directly and indirectly connected to the crime.
All This Could Be Yours (literary fiction) - I requested this at the library before it even had a cover :) because I’m a Jami Attenberg fan. A dysfunctional family’s patriarch is dying, and his son and daughter are called to his bedside, where the whole family grapples with his life of crime and abuse.
Juliet Takes A Breath (YA) - Juliet (Nuyorican lesbian) gets a coveted internship with hippy, white feminist author, and white feminism rears it’s ugly head.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Nothing To See Here (literary fiction) - one time, a guy in Chicago had a job at a newspaper where he was the Biblioracle and he would recommend books to folks who wrote in if you told him favorites and what you read recently. 1) I need that job! and 2) he recommended Kevin Wilson’s The Family Fang to me, and I loved it. I was excited to read this, and it felt like such a real representative of politics and friendship even though people literally burst into flames.
The River (literary fiction / mystery) - in Grant’s top 5 of the year, and one of my favorite Peter Heller books (which is saying something, since I loved The Dog Stars and Celine). Two high school boys go for a graduation trip in the boundary waters, and there’s a brushfire growing and possibly a woman missing.
The Chain (thriller) - I keep picking up thrillers that people swear are the next Gone Girl or even better, and nothing is. This didn’t make my top ten, but if you want a page turner with a twist and also think about the banality of evil and what you might or might not do, try this.
Royal Holiday (romance) - Jasmine Guillory is always on point! I couldn’t even save this for Christmas reading!* A personal stylist gets to go to England to style the Meghan Markle (shout out to Suits!) fictionalized equivalent, and her mom goes along and finds romance.
Intercepted, Fumbled, Blitzed (romance series) - have you read all of Jasmine Guillory? Pick up Alexa Martin next! It’s funny and captures the nuance of being a football fan or former football fan; the book doesn’t deny how it exploits men of color or the traumatic brain injuries.
They Called Us Enemy (graphic memoir) - I don’t think that I would have ever picked up a graphic memoir if I didn’t already love Mira Jacobs (see Good Talk, above) and George Takei (LOVE him on facebook) already. Now I might seek them out. It’s George’s story of the Japanese internment camps that America likes to not remember.
Slay (YA) - Q: Do you need a YA version of Ready Player One written by a black woman? A: YES! After all of the racism she experiences in gaming, a black high schooler creates a video game only for black folks. No one knows she’s the creator. When a young kid is killed supposedly due to the game, she faces being revealed and wonders what she created.
The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali (YA) - I couldn’t put this book down; it’s about a young, queer Muslim woman whose parents want to marry her off. It’s never the right time to come out, and when they find out unexpectedly, she’s sent off to Bangladesh.
Heaven, My Home (mystery) - The follow up to Bluebird, Bluebird, and just as wonderful. Black Texas Ranger Darren Matthews is back, and is tasked with finding a missing 9 year-old boy from a white supremacist family.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed (non-fiction) - I asked my therapist if she had read this, but she hadn’t yet. She did tell me that she sees a therapist, though. Reading this (and hearing that) made me feel less alone and less crazy. It’s also pretty funny. (AND you know I don’t like non-fiction!!!)
What My Mother and I Don’t Talk About (non-fiction, essays)
Southernmost (rural fiction) - did I just make up a genre? Yes! If you liked Plainsong or anything by Kent Haruf (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, read that instead), I think you’d like this. A rural town, where a preacher decides not to turn his back on a gay couple, and then faces the consequences. I found it thoughtful, nuanced, and real.
The View from Penthouse B (light fiction) - hmm, can’t stop making up genres! This is witty and well written, and I think is the book equivalent of a warm bath. I loved these sisters who end up living together in an NYC penthouse (the sister who owns it: separated from her scandal-ridden husband and lost her fortune in a Madoff-like ponzi scheme, and the sister who moves in is fairly recently widowed and everyone but her is ready for her to get over it).
Daisy Jones & The Six (historical fiction) - I think this was Grant’s favorite of the year, and it was definitely in the top 5. I loved it, too. It felt like the book version of Almost Famous.
American Spy (spy thriller) - it has so many things I’m looking for in a book all-in-one: excellent writing, fully developed characters, and moving plot. The premise is a black woman in U.S. intelligence during the Cold War, and the book grapples with racism and sexism and patriotism and family. So good!
To Night Owl from Dogfish (middle grade fiction) - I picked this up because Meg Wolitzer is one of the authors (wrote The Interestings) and because I’ve seen it on so many (non-middle grade) lists. It didn’t disappoint! Q: Do you need an LGBTQ Parent Trap-like book in your life (A: Yes, obvs). Pick this one up! I will try to read it with Ox in a year or so.
WHEW!
In 2020, I’m hoping for more 5 star reads (only five in 2019 - Good Talk, Fleishman Is In Trouble, Educated, Speak No Evil, Heads of the Colored People), more mysteries to make this list (bonus if it’s a new series [or new-to-me series] I can get lost in), and that I find the time to paint more book covers.
BONUS MEME
*Gah this meme is me, but this is my blog, so whatevs! Also a lot of these memes, too, which I hadn’t seen before!
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