#look i know . hes having a terrible time
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BEHOLD!! I made an entry to Skunkape's 2023 Holiday Contest! :'Dc I worked so fuckin hard on it hhhrhrhrhgdhsjglshgjdjfh and let me tell you, I do not at all hope to win but I do hope it makes Steve snicker. Just the thought that he'll be seeing it is wild. Hope it makes y'all snicker too ehehehe!!
#piscatological: having to do with the science or study of fishing#and yeah I did look up a complicated word on purpose hehe >:3 I think that’s what Sam does in his spare time anyway#fun fact I was gonna give Sam a blue coat but then I realized that he bore a striking and unnerving resemblance to one Sans Undertale#so that had to get scrapped lmaooooo#but I really like how it turned out anyway heheheheeeee#I really liked making Sam dream of terrible fish dishes jdklgjdlsghdsf (terrible by the definition of a list I found somewhere lmao)#all I know about surströmming is that is is so smelly you have to open it outdoors in a bucket of water apparently#terrible. they’d love it though sskskshgfjfhdjdgs#sam and max#sam and max freelance police#freelance husbands#my art#skunkape holiday contest
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Hey bud. Buddy ol' pal.
I 👀 So Big /So Small by Rachel Bay Jones in your LM Playlist. That feels so illegal and yet it is bc you made it so.
listen-
that's all-
#dae asks#rottmnt#rottmnt life mission au#life mission au#oh yeah have i mentioned that LM!Leo has terrible separation anxiety#and that after splinter made friends and trusted people enough to look after his young son#leo got so terrified that splinter might not make it home alive#since he experienced first hand how dangerous it was looking for his bros#because splints had to take him sometimes since no one could look after leo for a while#and it breaks splints' heart that leo cries every time he leaves#because he knows what leo is feeling. all. too. well.
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Imagine.
You've been friends with Rise Leo for so long, that you can't seem to remember a time when he wasn't there teasing you with his signature smirk.
It was always jokes with him. Puns. One liners. Horrible cringe pick-up lines. You name it, he'd say it.
Word play was the game and boy did he know how to play. The dumber they were, the harder you laughed.
You always seemed to be laughing around him. It felt…nice. Just to be silly, let the weight of your world roll off your shoulders just for one moment.
You guessed why that's why it was so easy for you to fall into a habit of teasing him back. Y'all both just needed a reason to laugh.
But…you weren't laughing now.
There, he stood in front of you, with that signature smirk on his lips, telling you that he had feelings for you.
That he ALWAYS had feelings for you; he just never had the words for it until now.
You tilted your head at that, your brow narrowing in confusion as you began to rub a hand nervously over your arm.
So you did what you always did. What he would always do when it came to uncomfortable feelings.
You brushed it off with a laugh, missing the way Leo’s hands flexed at the sound.
You looked up at Leo with a shaky smirk, mirroring his own face, your eyebrow quirked teasingly.
“This is a joke right? I'm missing the punchline here. You've never cared about serious feelings like this before, so why start now?”
Leo’s eyes widened slightly, his stomach sinking as he watched you shake your head with that disbelieving and exasperated smile that he had come to love so much.
His hands slowly curled into white-knuckled fists as he watched you literally laugh away his confession.
You thought… you thought this was a joke. That he wouldn't take these real feelings seriously.
Leo’s gaze narrowed as his attention sharpened into focus on you.
Very well then.
Leo would show you just how serious he could be.
Imagine.
All of those jokes, all of that teasing, that ADHD intellect, that strategy, that charisma and charm directed solely on you.
Imagine.
Every comment, every look, interaction and touch becoming calculated, purpose driven and direct.
Focused. On. You.
Imagine.
Leo wanting to show you what serious intention looks like.
Because it was NEVER a joke when it concerned you.
~Ninja
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#OH I'M IMAGINING#TH. THANK YOU FOR THIS#ohhhhhhh and you know it all comes to a boiling point where you get into an argument with him#which is so so terrible because you two NEVER fight#and because i love cliches it HAS to escalate to him losing that smirk and that self-assured mask and him yelling “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!#BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I'M BEING HONEST AND THE TRUTH IS THAT I FUCKING LOVE YOU OKAY?“#ohhh he'd fucking BREAK he'd start to cry and look at you like you hold his life in your hands (because you do. you always have)#and it's only THEN that you realize#all this was... all this was actually real#what he's been saying and doing it's all been REAL this ENTIRE TIME and you've been brushing it off. you've been LAUGHING.#“Leo I'm. I'm so sorry I didn't- I thought you-”#“well?” “well what?” “...do you love /me?/”#asks
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and now for something stupid
#but really i also just wanted to play around w this sort of coloring style bc its been FOREVER since ive used it#and i think i can make it look better now#AND i think i can make more sillay stuff like this and not have it take as long w cleaning up lines#anyway now you all understand the terrible dynamic between these three#phobo's infodump text is just copypasted from the wikipedia page for knives.#julliet ALSO uses knives is the thing so hes actually mansplaining < JOKE#he just wants to share. even if it gives her a headache. but he wouldnt mansplain he doesnt have it in him. hes ok with felonies tho#but julis life hasnt known peace since she was told to take care of the newbies#and shes ALSO a newbie (just slightly less so) so really this is probably just tartarus hazing her#theyd take one look at the two disorganized unserious overeager newbies and think ''you know what would be fucking hilarious''#and pass them onto the neurotic slightly-less-newbie who takes everything as seriously as possible. disaster combination.#i cannot stress enough that this is a group of bandits and murderers theyre NOT above hazing.#deimos actually is doing the best job at it since he is stealing as we speak#i mean hes not supposed to do it to his teammates but still. on the right track#as for the dynamic between deimos and phobos themselves its like. theyre just bros. theyre both pretty similar in personality#except deimos is kinda more mean and cynical while phobos can be kinda. dense and naive despite literally where hes at in life#but most of the time theyre basically beavis and butthead#i would also like to stress that juli is not being homophobic she just already cannot stand these guys and cant believe the audacity#but. complete misunderstanding. karma for stealing wallets ig#this will never be cleared up by anyone ever#but again thats not their dynamic they are just beavis and butthead. and i guess that makes juli daria LOL#finn's ocs#finn's art
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Have I mentioned how much it haunts me that that guy calls Will "Lonnie's boy" when Lonnie has been gone for four years, has a shitty reputation, and the town obviously has at least some awareness of what went on in that house (though zero compassion for it)? MEANWHILE Joyce has been there all along working her ass off and as involved in Will's life as she's able to be (which, granted, isn't as much as she'd like, but is obviously way more than Lonnie ever was). It's Joyce in Hawkins, distraught and losing her mind with worry and desperate to find him. They probably see Joyce reasonably frequently, when they pop into Melvald's or when she goes on an errand; they probably haven't seen Lonnie in years.
But that's Lonnie's boy.
#and i get why he's well-received at the funeral#even by characters who probably have more awareness of the damage he did to his family#like karen#what's she gonna do--not hug this guy who just lost a child?#she knows how terrible he was for his family even if she doesn't have details#(though i think she knew more than most)#but she has children and just saw one of her worst nightmares come to pass#of course she hugs him she's compassionate#i've snuck it into fics and i'll probably sneak it in again#because it really bugs me that much#tbh i didn't get the impression that hawkins thinks that badly of lonnie#like steve's parents probably talk shit but they're probably talking shit about everyone#like i get it that's just some dude and he probably doesn't really know joyce & maybe he's just got a very patriarchal way of looking at it#but lonnie didn't want will and joyce does#lonnie wasn't there and joyce IS#like let's be real even when lonnie was there will was never lonnie's boy#jonathan maybe but that's another distressing subject to ponder another time
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Let me get this straight, in TVDU:
We blame amnesic Elijah, who erased his memories seven years before Hayley's death, for Hayley's death when he didn't even know who she was and didn't actually kill her.
But we don't blame Kol for Davina's death when he was the one that actually drained her of blood because the ancestors were controlling him.
And we don't blame Freya for torturing and kidnapping Keelin because she did it for family.
And we don't blame Klaus for nearly killing Caroline twice because it was romantic when he saved her from his own venom.
And we don't blame Klaus for nearly strangling Hayley to death because he was just scared of being a father.
Just wanted to make sure I understood where the fandom stands on this.
#the amount of comments I get#“i'll never forgive Elijah”#but they look the other way for every other character#just say you don't like him and move on#or better yet just move on and don't say anything#all of them did terrible things#some times they had legitimate reasons#other times they didn't#but hold the people who actually did the harm responsible#Elijah did a lot of bad things#no need to blame him for things he didn't do#we all know Elijah would never harm Hayley#If he had his memories he would have saved her#he also never would have erased his memories if he had known#also I don't blame Kol for Davina either#blaming him is as stupid as blaming Elijah for Hayley's#like Elijah was the least violent against women#which is a sad sentence to have to write#yet they tried to use him to make a point about domestic violence#Klaus was right there#he loved to harm women#haylijah#elijah x hayley#hayley x elijah#elijah mikaelson#hayley marshall#tvdu#the originals#the vampire diaries#tvd
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I wish some people never had access to internet at all...
TW assault, TW r*pe
#this is one of the main reasons why I don't get into the fandom that much and just stay in my own personal bubble#I already have a bad relationship with gilturia and I just can't see those two together without having a bad taste in my mouth#despite the fact there's a lot good art with those two#and I know that not all gilturia shippers are like that#and I understand that most of them ship those two because they just look aesthetically pleasing and look good together but still...#I can't just look calmly at those two especially knowing their background and how Gilgamesh actually treats her#and honestly because of such moments sometimes I feel disgust towards Gil (obviously) but I also feel disgust towards myself#for liking such terrible character#and honestly I fear that someday because of such moments I would stop liking him or even start to hate him#but I don't want that because despite his negative traits he still is well written and very deep character that has a lot of layers to him#plus he helped me to get thought a lot of hardships especially after these past two years throughout which I got attached to him even more#and his quote that he said to Hakuno ''No matter what adversity you face there's no other way for you but forward''#cheered me up a lot of times#sorry for the rant#I just had this things building up in my chest and these tweets just made me kinda snap#my ramblings#personal
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you can call me heartless all you'd like, but it won't bring her back and it won't help you heal.
#tails the fox#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x#based on a roleplay I had with my partner. who writes an extremely incredible shadow#I write my thoughts here because Sonic X ending has me terribly fucked up#considering how young tails is to be suffering from grief I bet it's especially difficult to handle a kid who has no clue how to process it#who had to make an extremely unfair choice to kill someone he loves. and then to take it out on his big brother#Taking out his anger and insisting on blaming someone for cosmo's death... it's very heartbreaking.#Imagining if Shadow had come back and Tails had not finished grieving yet. there already soooo much anguish#Exploring grief in art is very very fun but there is something so gutwrenching imagining someone so young have to figure out how to deal#with that. younger people often acting out and not realizing how unfair they are until time has passed and not understanding#multi faceted perspectives etc. I know its a bit odd to go crazy about osmething like this over Sonic X but something about Cosmo and Tails#just hit very hard and I care about them very much. tails is huge favorite. i care about him so much#I probably shouldn't dwell on the sad parts of sonic x too much but that last scene tails has with sonic stuck hard#Can't imagine how strained it might feels for the next few months. and Sonic just takes it. Can't even look at Tails or answer him. HMMMM#anyways im done being chatty in tags I will delete my thoughts later as per usual. hehe. Sorry <3#sonic
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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HEARTBREAKING
Worst Dad You Know Has an Extremely Endearing (Now) Reoccurring Character Trait
For further context: this whole FB involved Sharena and Henriette seeking out lockpickers in the Order of Heroes to open this VERY SECURELY locked box from Gustav's room that took Tina's special staff to finally crack open (or rather -- "steal" the contents out of. No one could actually break the lock!)
And the first instance of this!
It makes me wonder if he saved anything related to Sharena..........
#fire emblem#feh#man. henriette's sad portrait w 'yes. he must have' carries so much bittersweet grief. augh#when it comes to sharena idk if i would be more angry if he did save something or if he didn't. i'm almost leaning towards the first though#like. idk if i can even word it but it fucking sucks when you have family that 'loves' you and they do actually genuinely love you#but they just. do it wrong. and fail you severely in the process. you think to yourself it would have been easier actually#if they had simply never loved you at all. or if they were upfront and told you they don't love you anymore.#at least then you can be as vindictive as you want and hold a grudge forever and be completely justified#but extremely begrudgingly this DOES make gustav a compelling character. in so many ways#you can see where it all went wrong. you can see henriette sees something in him that no one else can. and she's not crazy for it#she was probably there. she probably saw it all happen. she knows him w a level of intimacy no one else does.#and now you see these little humanizing traits. he loved his son. he loved his partner and wife.#juries still out on his daughter.#but you get what i'm saying right? it's terribly tragic. it's painful.#man.#i'm still gustav's number one hater though. just so we're clear.#AUGH IT'S JUST. THE PLAYFULNESS OF IT. IS ACTUALLY SO PAINFUL. LOOKING AT EVERYTHING WE KNOW#they had a rock competition........ to find the roundest rock.......... and she won....... and he saved the rock she found......#THAT'S. AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#you cannot fucking IMAGINE gustav doing that. and yet. in another time. he did. and that's who henriette fell in love with#and that's who herniette still sees. and she's not fucking wrong for it. not entirely. he still has that fucking rock.#dude i'm gonna be sick.#fe gustav#fe henriette#sharena#fe tina#fe alfonse#he's. mentioned. might as well tag him LMFAO
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It's not Easter anymore, and that's not a bunny.
Happy April Fool's day! While celebrations for Digimon's 25th anniversary are underway, I didn't feel like drawing Agumon or any of the other "main partner" Digimon this time around... so I wound up going kind of the opposite of that with a Virus Attribute Rookie that lives up to its typing: Gazimon!
And what I mean by that is, despite the fact that it's the "good Rookie" outcome on the Digital Monster Ver. 5 v-pet, Gazimon are rather aggressive and apparently have a pretty hard time warming up to humans! One shouldn't try to force this, either.... its claws are sharp and tough enough to quickly dig pitfalls, and it isn't afraid to use them as weapons, either! (Not to mention it's capable of breathing a paralyzing toxic gas at its enemies!)
#digimon#bonus doodles#april fools#gazimon#if this guy looks familiar beyond being a virtual pet debut#you've probably seen a bunch of them as etemon's henchmen in digimon adventure!#(and i know this post is about GAZIMON in particular but like... etemon was hilarious#not just because dub etemon was pretty much 'elvis if he were a virtual monkey'#but because he's just... that much of a clown lol#hell the original japanese dub's version of love serenade is just him singing TERRIBLY and it's great)#i definitely don't have time to look up possible digivolutionary lines for gazimon#but i wonder if there's a path to one becoming an etemon...?
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#film thanapat#jam rachata#กฎแห่งรักดึงดูด#listen jam is not the greatest actor of our times but his vulnerable looks get me every time#it's terrible; i can't do anything#also those times when he needs to do stuff to film and he doesn't know how and how much is allowed#the stressed look#man one part of me is dying from secondhand stress but the other is (as humor works) is laughing so hard#i'm kind of thankful#it heals me a little#when i have to act in embarrasing situations#and even if they are not; i'll make them#like my mind is so confused whenever i see that one girl at the drugstore#with men i get into a defense/competitive position or i give up everything easily#and here i can't go into competetive; and give up is showing a weakness which is opposite of what was taught to be attractive#it's so strange#feeling things and all that#so back to the post (better late than never))): what is this about?#.mine#laws of attraction
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“Now I just want you to watch.”
El saw what Henry did to everyone in the lab. She didn’t die, but she had to watch it happen.
Max saw Billy die in front of her. She wasn’t the one in danger, but El was. And she watched her abusive stepbrother die in front of her.
Dustin saw Eddie die. He didn’t go back towards the bats. The bats didn’t hurt him. But he watched Eddie die in his arms.
Hopper didn’t die because of his exposure to the chemicals he was mixing. He watched his daughter die in a hospital bed.
Lucas wasn’t being targeted by Vecna. He wasn’t the one floating in the air, his bones weren’t snapping. But Max’s were. And he watched it happen.
Nancy wasn’t the one who died in the Upside Down, alone in Steve Harrington’s pool. That was her best friend, and Nancy had to watch it all go down. Had to see everyone unfold.
Mike didn’t get possessed. Or kidnapped. Or burst into particles. Mike didn’t die. Or almost die. He watched Will screaming like he was being burned alive. He watched his best friend nearly die and he watched as every adult around him was unable to help him. He watched Will bike away from his house before he disappeared. He heard his mom talking to Joyce the next day. He heard Will on the radio. He saw Will’s body in the water. He heard Bob die. He saw El die. He saw Will dead. He watched a man get shot trying to protect him, Will and Jonathan. He watched him die while putting pressure on the wound.
Mike was shot at.
He was told that he was wrong for trusting El. That Will wasn’t alive.
He had to run for his life because his friend’s body was taken by a being from another dimension that sent creatures to kill him and everyone around him.
He was knocked out by Max’s possessed brother.
He was shot at again in the desert, trying to rescue El who was taken by the government.
He’s been bullied his entire life.
And he did almost die.
Mike jumped off a cliff.
Dustin and El had to watch.
#mike wheeler#byler#I definitely could go more in depth with every other character here#and even some that aren’t here#but my point is#is that Mike has been going through it since season one#and that watching something terrible happen to someone you know and care for#is a thing#and having El watch max die was one of the worst things Henry could do to her#but then mikes also been through a lot of stuff that’s just him#jumping off a cliff for starters#being shot at multiple times#running from the government#being knocked out by billy and generally being in his path in season three#El has to save mike in the sauna#and Will screaming that he’s lying in season two#even though it wasn’t Will it was still his voice and his body#mikes been through a lot#but unlike Will and El he doesn’t have people to talk to about it#or anyone who looks at him and notices he isn’t okay#even though he commonly parallels what they think is happening with Will#like jumping off a cliff or ptsd#everyone’s quick to call Mike an asshole rather than asking him if somethings wrong
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Okay so Trent absolutely knows shorthand and writes most of his notes in it right?
I think he probably also has horrible handwriting, he writes to fast and it makes his words incomprehensible. He's also dramatic enough to modify the shorthand he knows to ensure nobody knows what he's writing.
My point to all of this is, imagine him forgetting his notebook somewhere and someone from Richmond finds it, maybe Jamie or Roy or Rebecca and they're like "neat let's see what he wrote about me" only to be hit by complete nonsense (to them). Even the bits where he actually wrote something out are just indecipherable scribbles.
I think this is hilarious, the idea has been amusing me all day and I wanted to share it
what's hilarious is we have the same braincell, i literally also was like "does trent NEED to have personalized shorthand that's some sort of elaborate code he knows by heart so that no one can read his notes even if they had time? no. does he? definitely. if confronted he would claim that it's for journalistic integrity reasons, but truthfully it kind of makes him feel like a spy and he likes it." also because while some of it is genuine notes, some of it is just like. stupid shit. grocery list of shit he forgot to get earlier. jotting down a terrible pun ted made or some detail about something ted likes ("taking notes on your crush is both normal and regular behavior so long as no one ever sees or finds about it" trent reminds himself repeatedly)
and it's so much funnier if he also just has terrible handwriting and needn't have bothered bc no one could read it anyway. (same, trent, my brain goes faster than my hands. one time my dad's doctor looked at my handwriting when i was like, ten, and was like "wow, and you're smart kid, too. you should be a doctor when you grow up" dlfkgjdh)
ANYWAY i love the idea of them actively trying to snoop and it's just. complete gibberish. especially if then they're just like frowning down at it and then pan to behind them and trents like "looking for something" slgkjdfg
#ive actually been half brewing a fic about trent and his notebook/shorthand called stenography#so hmmmmm.#also theyd all have such different Snooping Behavior#jamie tries sooooo hard to act casual. flips open page with pen.#roy just keeps staring at it from the corner of his eye before going FUCK andthen just getting up and fully opening it#etc#also picturing. the entire team gathered around one (1) notebook#bumbercatch is now attempting to Decode It with his Mad Codebreaking Skills#and trent just walks in like oh i left my noteb--whaaaaat is happening#and it's the entire team all giving him the Deer In The Headlights look. crowded around his notebook.#and hes like. ................... and they're like ................#ALSO see#trent: you want to know a secret? the notebook is only about fifty percent notes for the book.#the other fifty percent? notes on ted. extensive notes on terrible puns he's made and the like. this here? this line?#this notes that he said his favorite muffin is blueberry. i brought him a blueberry muffin the next morning and said it was just an extra.#this bit? this is just 'trent lasso' written three times in a row. next to it i seem to have scribbled 'why are his eyes so pretty'. hm#jamie in an awed whisper: why are you telling me this#trent leaning in: Because No One Will Believe You.#anyway thats how jamie and trent become friends#he can respect that#confuses the hell out of roy though#askbox#trent crimm#tedtrent#tedependent
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to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?
#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened#i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close#and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way#i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao#now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest#and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell#i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop#but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again#i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier#it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men#and i find myself unable to connect with anyone…#i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed#i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it#i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly.#i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad#i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so#i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized…#when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was#like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u#i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function.#plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized#how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone…#i went thru all that for nothing…#and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why#brain vomit
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I was reading this drow dnd handbook last night and this line made me cackle
just imagining shri’iia in astarion’s confession scene internally being like
#she’s like HUH.#like it is a very sweet scene. in game. but in my head she’s like HUH‼️#and they took a bit time to actually admit both they’re feelings bc he is being very brave and vulnerable but she won’t even have the#decency to look at him !!!!! and when he’s like look just tell me to fuck off and I’ll leave she’s like no that’s not it!!!!!! then he see#that she’s actually flustered. the tips of her ears are blushing and she’s a terrible mess rn and he’s like oh? oh.#and she’s like look. hand on his shoulders. clench. finally making eye contact.#I would like it if we were something too BUT quite frankly I don’t know what this is and im going through the worst tummy ache rn but I#like this vibe. and he’ll be like same bestie.#HENCE why I hc their ‘official’ lock in is the graveyard scene in act 3 ….!!!! they’re just in a situationship (for ME)#but in game I just go for the option where she asks what does he want to do but in my head it’s a whole mess lol#hitting them with the jbfication beam where love confessions turns into this long winded mess but unlike jb#they won’t have to argue abt it lol
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